Club Random with Bill Maher - Billy Bush | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

Bill Maher is joined by media personality and podcaster Billy Bush for a sharp, surprising, and hilarious conversation that bounces from family dynasties to the minefields of modern media. Bush opens up about growing up a Manhattan kid with presidential uncles, surviving scandal, and finding his voice again behind the mic. The two swap stories about Hollywood etiquette, Julia Roberts at the Oscars, psychedelic trips, and why everyone’s addicted to outrage. They debate fame, forgiveness, how tequila ages over time – and Bush recalls the wildest elevator encounter in New York, proof that even fame has its ups and downs. Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://billmaher.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support our Advertisers: Go to  https://zbiotics.com/RANDOM and use RANDOM at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics. Get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at https://www.nutrafol.com and enter promo code RANDOM  Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at ⁠https://www.trueclassic.com/RANDOM⁠! #trueclassicpod #ad  Buy Club Random Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clubrandom.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it.  For advertising opportunities please email: [e-mail] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Via Rail, love the way. All right, I have to tell you about this game-changing drink that the club random team uses before a night out. It's called pre-alcohol from Zbiotics because let's be honest, we don't bounce back the way we used to.

It used to be work hard, play hard. Now it's more like work just enough and go take a nap. Head to zbiotics.com slash random and use the code random at checkout for 15% off your first order. You never did that to get to the top. You did you?

No, I never even... You paused. What's your status? Are you married now? Are you... Why? Asking for... Andrew and I are quite happy, Bill. Billy! You know, they used to call me Billy.

I bet they did, Billy Marr. I mean, I was ten fucking years old. I mean, it's ridiculous when you're an adult. Goodness, I'd stand for you, but you know, they pull me to sit out. No, please. Yeah, when I was 10, you know, I even had an uncle one called me Willie. I may call you Willie? Yeah, my father called me Willie. Willie, I want to talk to you.

Yeah, that's a... I don't like Willie. I don't... Many reasons. I don't like... The name itself is, like, the most generic name in the world. Yeah, I like William, though. I thought, you know...

When I started doing, like, you know, the Today Show and things, I thought, you know, Billy is to... Maybe I should be Bill now. Is he... Bill, is a... If I had ever gotten confirmed, like I was supposed to, right before my first... father quit the Catholic Church, I would have been William, I would have been what my father's name was and his father, which was William Aloysius Marr. Aloysius. Alawishus is a very Irish, very, you're a fucking wasp, so you wouldn't know this. There's nothing waspier than a bush.

And just, I know I know this, but just, and I know you're not. Walk me through. I know you're not in the muscle end of the family, Tom. But tell me again, you're, you know, you're not in the muscle end of the family, Tom. but tell me again your george bush the president was your is your uncle which one the first one is my uncle the first one's your uncle believe it or not the second one's your cousin 43 george w is my first cousin first cousin so meaning you share a so who's the who's well the reason everyone thinks he's my uncle because he's 25 years older than me. So at a 16 first cousins, George W. is the oldest at 78, and I'm the youngest at 53. So my father is the younger brother of George H.W. Bush 41.

I'm so sorry I asked. I still don't get. You get it. The old guy's my uncle, but he's like would be 104 or something if he was alive today. Right. I thought you didn't drink. Who fucking told you that? I thought you were just a weed guy. I'm both I barely Do you eat? You look so skinny Yeah

I barely drink I mean it's so sad One reason I love Wednesdays Not just because I could get to talk To some interesting person Free form for as long as I want But it's the one day I kind of allow myself a drink or two Really? So you drink one day a week

That's basically Yeah I don't think I Yeah that very often that is the case I mean you can't when you're when I'm 70 You can't fucking drink when you're this old. You know, you are your ageless, Bill. I was thinking about that today. I said, I wonder how old Bill Maher is that.

I think he just looks the same for the last 30 years. You're just Bill Maher. Yeah. What's going on with the tincture now? Wait a minute. What is you doing so many things here? I can't do this every week. What is happening?

No, I don't blame you. Everyone is wondering what jing. It's this thing. It's the young. Yeah, that's what it is. It's the jing. It's tiger blood. There's the answer to the jing.

It's the jing. That's what. I'm actually aging in reverse. I have tiger blood. I'm Benjamin Button. I don't know what the fuck. Where's my, oh, this, yeah, okay. But, so, okay.

But, you know, as a Bush, did they ever give you shit about it? Like, because, I mean, we're such a politicized country. I never seem to think anybody really held that, you know, the super liberals are like, oh, we can't listen to a Bush. give them celebrity news no you know i you've got your power libs right in in town i'll never forget when i first did the oscars um you know i was doing the red carpet and i was living in new york at the time and i was having fun on access hollywood as the correspondent and so i did the oscars for

the official red carpet show and i'm there and i and i it's long drawn-out show as everyone knows And so I find myself in the hotel, in the lobby bar. And I've never met Julia Roberts before, but, you know, I'm, I knew of her, of course. And she was sitting right there at the bar. And it looked like she was alone, and I pulled up. And I said, you know, can I order a drink or whatever? And she turns, and she says, Billy Bush, you're the new guy on Access Hollywood. And I said, and you're obviously Julia Roberts, hello.

And we got talking for a little bit. And she said, so are you going to buy me a drink? Can you believe they don't give them free in the lobby of the Oscars? Holy shit. And I said, sure, of course. I'd be honored. What would you like? And she turns to five friends.

And she goes, hey, guys, Billy Bush is buying. What do we want? Boom, I got hit for a huge bill right there. And we talked politics for a minute. She's like, how could you be a Republican? Really? And then you got people like, there was like, you know, Rosie. You know, you'll get.

get some shit from Rosie, but so what? But other than that, I think people, you know, HW, everybody loved. People had, you know, thoughts about W. But now they love him. Now he's America's grandfather. If you see him, and Gen Z thinks he's everything he does. I would never be a Republican either, but I find, I'm sorry, and I love Julia Roberts, but I find that obnoxious.

I just do, to say to somebody, how could you be? You know, you could say that to a lot of people about a lot of things. It's just, it's just not, and of course, that attitude has only gotten worse in this country. I mean, we're at a terrible place, don't you think? I mean, the political, the political violence and just the hatred and the, you know, no one listens to the argument if they hate you so much to begin with. Your argument, I know this from stand-up, because when you're a stand-up comic and you start out and you suck, some people had, I had a lot. that among the worst, which is you then insult the audience. You blame them for not laughing.

Now they hate you. Now, you could say the funniest joke in the world. If they hate you, they're just going to stand. They're not going to give it up to you. And I feel like that's exactly where we are in politics. Each side is like an audience that has been insulted by the comic, and they're just not going to give it up. Even if it hurts them in some way, they will, what's the saying,

cut off your nose to spite your face? Yeah. They will fucking do it. And that's where we are. I don't know how we get out of it. But, see, and Julia didn't understand is how do you know I'm a Republican? Just because my last name is Bush, you feel like that's the, you get the, you inherit the card and that's it. And, you know, I mean, I've certainly voted that way, you know, plenty of times.

But I would call them, I'm a registered independent now. I don't have a party. I can't, I mean, they're so polarized that I just don't, I wouldn't be able to identify with either one. So I'll look at the person and take the person. Yeah, right. And you know what? You don't have to apologize if you are. I mean, half the country is. And, you know, again, not my cup of tea. I could give you the list of reasons why I wouldn't be, you know, starting with their two religious and they're fiscal hypocrites and right now they don't believe in democracy anymore and blah, blah, blah. But I also would like to think I have things more in perspective, including, you know, Trump has put your cousin, George, in perspective for me. I mean, nobody was... You miss him.

I don't miss him. You miss him terribly. I can see it. I don't miss him, but... You would love him. You should have him sit right here. You should bust your ass to get him here. Can you make that happen?

He is so funny and just easy hang. You would love it. I would. And he would paint you and he would put a little portrait on the wall. Dude, I'm the guy who went to the White House and had the three-hour dinner with Trump. I remember. And got him to sign all the insults he said about me. It's right there.

Oh, my God, that is so great. Oh, it's the great. Bill, you caught so much shit for that, and I thought it was one of the great, oh, thank you. Great moves, and I was actually rolling the picture on my podcast, and Chuck LaBella, your booker and producer, great guy.

And a friend of the apprentice. He booked the Celebrity Apprentice forever, so he books Club Random, he does, he's a terrific guy. I look at the picture, a terrific guy, I sound like. You sound like Regis. Larry David said that to me. You sound like Regis.

He says, you were, he goes, you know what you are, I said, what? Larry David said, you're a cross between Jason, Costanza, and a little Regis. Yeah, there is a little Regis. But when I get excited. And you've got that great. I get up and I say, Bill, I can't believe it. Joy, where we're going? We're going out to dinner tonight. I was there last night. Bill Maher was in the table. That's perfect. And you got the hair. He's got a little bit of the nasal. I miss Regis terribly. God. And you got the hair. He had great hair to the end. Great hair. So do you. Just like Reed. No, not like. you are not as full as you're not like me but you can't not true not like me god's fair but can i can i you don't believe in god but i do and god's fair he doesn't give you everything can i i pass a message from you to george w please okay first of all i was very hard at him

i'm not i text him right now no no no no no no no wait i could do a voice note okay um but um you know i was hard i'm not taking it back i wasn't for the invasion of iraq or you know I mean, just the basic Republican policies that he championed were not exactly my cup of tea. But I also have things much more in perspective. He should know that, yes, I probably, looking back, could have been more reasonable. It shouldn't have always been just everything. Like, for example, and I have defended him on this, he had an idea to privatize Social Security. Well, you know, if you look at where money goes over a century, now you don't live quite a century,

But you live half a century when you're at least, if you're above a normal lifespan. Where you put money, if you look at the stock market, even with its dips and recessions, the chart is like this. It goes quite a bit up. You know, it just makes more money. Whereas if you leave it in the bank, which is what we do now, it crawls along the bottom. Okay, it is safer, but it wasn't like the worst idea. The idea that everybody has to, like, jump on something because it came from the other team.

Exactly, and worse now. I've also mentioned many times that, you know, to contrast him with where we are now, when Obama won, he was in office, he had him in there, he stood with the other president's experts, and he said, we want you to succeed, which is something you can't imagine Donald Trump saying, let alone, he doesn't even concede the, well, he doesn't concede the election. He's not going to say, Amy Klobuchar, good luck with the office. Yeah, it's just not. We're standing behind you.

I also gave him credit for, I mean, Dick Cheney's boy was Scooter Libby, and he did not do the wrong thing when Truder Libby got in trouble. He was like, Dick Cheney almost broke up with him over that, and he was like, no, it's not the right thing. You can't outspies and whatever he did. So, like, he just was, it was just a different era where we were Republican, Democrats, liberals, conservatives, but it wasn't at this horrible place we are now. And he was in line with the traditional Republican way of doing things, which, you know, it's not 100 to zero, you're terrible and the other. It was more like 6040, maybe, in my view, 70, 30, something like that, whereas now it's just off the rails. So we're missing nuance. Maybe he will hear that.

And I'll tell you this, my friend Michael Kivas went to his house once. I think he knew Jenna. I know, Michael. Yeah, great guy. And he, they got, my name came up. Michael Kivis went to George Davis? Yes, I think he was friends. He's in every house then.

He may have been dating Jenna or one of the Bush twins, I think he was, or at least he was friends with him. That's why he was there. He was in, at George's house. Maybe Barbara, she's a little. No, no. And my name came up when he said, Bill Maher was over and, and George Bush said, you let that man in your house.

Laura, get the cat off of me. You let that man in your house. So that's where he is with me. No, I don't think so. I think I... Well, he was then. Then. He's such an easy-going cat.

He does not, you know, participate in anything. He's of his father's belief that you step out when you step out. I would love to talk to him. I really would. You'd have to give him one of those. See if he'd enjoy one of those. He would not do that. No, I don't think so.

But, all right, so we've cleared up your family history. What about your future? Where am I going? Well, I don't see you anymore. I used to see you and then TMZ. There was a perfect block. I'm done with Access Hollywood. I mean, I've done with Extra, which was the last one.

Why? Because it's just, I'm shrinking. Yeah, it's just like, you can't say anything. It's not a show foreseeing. No, I want to save things, Bill. I like what you do. I want to say things. That's why I did, I'm going to podcast.

What do you want to say? You know, I know I got a problem with... Yeah, yeah. Look, I love watching you. I love watching, you know, I, the podcast universe to me is fantastic. I should have done it years ago.

But, you know, I started this hot mics podcast, which is a nice wink to the history, and like the mics are hot, and now we know they're on. Oh. Now we know they're on. And it's fantastic. I get all kinds of people coming in.

I talk about whatever I want to talk about, and I'm, I don't worry. The head of HR is me. Man, you are, I mean, among a fairly now long list of people who, America, wow, the way they just jump to something and then like a few years later, sometimes even one year later, it was like, okay, you know, do we have to judge everybody by their least perfect moment on a bad day? We're just, you know, it's just, I hope we're over that time because it's so obnoxious. I think we are, but I also think like we, it's, right now I think it's about the algorithm, right? So someone hears something, like someone will watch what I say with you and they'll wait for maybe either one of us to say something that could be missed. And then they'll take that, they'll clip it, they'll put it out.

Right. Isn't this terrible? And if there are any bites, no bites? Shit, okay, we try. try to get it going. I always said, somebody should do a show if they were realistic about who they really are called. Is this something?

Yeah. Is this something? Master bedroom? Is this any? Could I... No, I'm not catching on? Okay. You know, and that's all... Exactly right. And that's all they fucking care about. That's exactly right. There's scalps on the wall.

Scalps, can I say scalps? It's beyond true. And if nobody bites, they move on. And then it's amazing, like, what actually does stick. I've seen people give groveling apologies over absolutely nothing. I love to rate apologies. But, I mean, to be just the guy who was, you know, at worst, just trying not to offend somebody who is in the pecking order of show business, someone you don't want to offend. like who was it hurting

that like you were going to change Donald Trump if you had said sir I will not stand for hearing a language like that it's just not what people do you hear things that you don't exactly approve of and you don't have to at every moment take that moment

and an opportunity to say no sir that will not suffice you know it's just just life is full of like moment after moment some of them just let flow by Not me. I've now changed entirely. Drunk Uncle Larry says something I don't like at Thanksgiving table.

I'm all over. Larry, that is beyond inappropriate. I will not sit here at this table. I don't remember a Larry Bush on the political table. We had one. And who's Jeb? That's also your uncle. So Jeb's my cousin.

Your cousin. He's George's brother, so he's also my cousin. Okay. And how often do you see them? Just saw them recently. My brother is running for governor of Maine. Maine. Does he live in Maine? Yeah, he's got to do that. Yeah, he lives in Maine. Well, you don't got to do that. People, are you kidding?

You can't see. You have to live there at least five years in Maine. They've got it and right at right. He's lived there five in a day. I'm kidding. We're a Maine family forever. Hillary Clinton. Well, that was a great... Did not live in New York. Can you say carpet bag?

Yeah, yeah. Is this any... Is this something? Robert Kennedy, not the current one, not the guy who eats bears. His father was the senator from New York. Yes. Okay, they're the most famous Massachusetts family in the world. It's like they don't fucking care. Mitt Romney was the governor of Massachusetts.

He's a Mormon from... God, yeah. They don't care. He went back to the motherland and became a senator. That's exactly right. So where should I go? I want to... Maybe I should be a politician.

Give me a nice... I think I could win Rhode Island. What do you think? So small. I don't get just campaign very quick. You don't have a connection to Texas like the other Bushes do, do you? Everybody thinks it because the George Bushes are Texas, but they're the only ones. Where did you grow up?

Manhattan. Manhattan? Manhattan. Wow. Bill. Upper East side right by the mayor's mansion, Carl Schurz Park. Do you know it? Carl Schurts Park?

86 between York and East End. Carl Schurts Park is where the mayor's mansion is on the East River. I used to, after the club's, you know, closed at 2 a.m., we would eat at the Viend, which on 86 on the Upper East Side. Yeah, because the comic strip was on 82nd and 2nd, Catch a Rising Star was on 78th and 1st. The Viend was open 24 hours. Oh, those were the days. Sit with the comics.

The fuck, yeah, the, oh. Smoke cigarettes, have coffee. Smoke cigarettes, probably in the diner. Then you could. Oh. And on airplanes. Yeah. So when they say Trump wants to take America,

back i just want to go back to the diner like i don't want i don't want to go back with all the other bad shit just just the diner where i could have any food at any hour and smoke cigarettes but yeah it's probably better that we don't it's it's yeah i love the fact that you're a comic though i think that takes a lot of the fact that you got through getting your ass kicked a few times you said when you suck and i mean that's when i would have quit because i just don't know if i could handle it you just took it until you broke through man i i have that's that i respect that it's funny i've been and nothing else going to to the uh comedy store every once in a while or the improv although the improv has been like closed like at midnight on saturday again how the mighty have fallen

but uh the comics the comedy store on sunset where i never really ever worked i was not her cup of tea but uh it's open it's bigger and And it's like, they do a midnight show. So sometimes, like, after, you know, a dinner or something, I don't want to go home. And, hey, let's go to the comedy store. I love it. And, but, boy, I watch these comics up there.

And it really takes me back to, wow, if only I could have had an angel on my shoulder, or I guess I could have been a nice guy and told these comics after the show. If you just didn't do this, my God, your life would be so much easier. But I guess it's just something you have to learn. Will you drive down and go do that comic thing? No, I'm not doing stand-up at the end of last year. Did you ever do stand-up not prepared? Never.

Oh, well, not such. Just riff on a stage, or did you know what you were doing? I mean, you know, when you... It's always a combination of having a structure. Yes, I was always that organized. I would have a structure. But sometimes you forget it. And then, yes, if you know where you're going,

if you know you can get back to the island, then you can drift off into the waters and explore. Sometimes you find great stuff out there. As long as you can always get back to where you know you have safe harbor and you can always get the joke. I mean, I'm sure there are comics who do it. They just, let's just go out on the limb and see where it goes. A lot of them who you think did that really didn't know where they were going.

Of course. They had a lot of stuff, you know. I mean, we started with a lot of guys who would talk to the audience. And, of course, if it was the first time you're seeing it, you think this guy's a genius. But actually, the same answers come up from the audience all the time. So he's got this. Sir, what do you do for a living? Nothing.

How do you know when you're done? And this guy's a genius. He came up with that. He came up with that five years ago. He says it every fucking night because somebody says that every night, you know. I bet you've had every situation, but the worst has got to be you get lost or you forget, like, you're at an impasse. I bet you've had the situation where from there, you went down and tanked, or the situation where from there, you actually recovered because you saw something or someone did something

and you got the wheels going again and it turned out to be a home run night. That's too much chance in that. I did, you know, it's called putting in your 10,000 hours. I mean, I did so many zillion sets. Everything happened. But the worst, the kind of thing I think you're talking about, that's the worst for me anyway, is sometimes you had to do two shows often had to do two shows on the weekend

and if you forgot a joke that you thought you hadn't done in the second show but you had done you thought you only did it in the first show but you actually did it in the second show and now you do the same joke and the audience just usually expecting a laugh and the owner just looks at you're like what a fucking frog

and that only happened to me once because I was so paranoid about what a fraud and then there was and that strikes to the nerve and sometimes you'd do three shows in that night and and there was this cognitive dissonance when you're on stage because you memorize your set in order because you don't want this to happen so like you'd be in the religious section of the third show and you're like wow part of my brain is telling me I did this joke because you just did it in the second and first show. But the other part of your brain is saying, no, no, no, no.

You didn't. Just do it. And it's so hard to commit to it with your full... Because if you don't go all in, I mean... And you got to. So it's just... It was... As soon as I could, I told my agent I will never do a second show. And I didn't for year. With Amy Polar, I mean, she's to me

one of the funniest people because she commits. And if there is silence or at the Golden Globe, did some act where she pretended to be Michael J. Fox's son or something. And she was in this bit as a little boy. I can't remember the exact, but it started to get like, this is not working. She didn't give a shit. She went right through, right through to the other side.

People started laughing. They started laughing when anyone else would have dropped out. And it was a home run. That I love. I've always been a huge fan. I think she's brilliant. She lives across the street, and I can't get her to do this podcast. Could you talk to her after you talk to George Bush, please?

I will talk. Let me first talk to George. Okay. Let's get the order correct. Literally across the street. You know who I ran. Driving here to your house, I passed her ex-husband on a walk, who's a great friend. Will Arnette?

Will Arnette on a walk with his new girlfriend? I pulled over the window, had a nice, it looks very thin and fit and tan. Well, he's got a new girlfriend. He's got a hot new girlfriend. Who's the girlfriend? She's a model. I think it's Carolyn Murphy. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. Is she a current model? Age appropriate, the whole thing. Age appropriate. Like not a 27-year-old girl. Will's my age? Okay.

Oh, I'm not going to judge. I know you, Bill. No, no, no. You dated some younger ladies before. I'm not going to judge either. What's too young for me? My daughter says 15 years older than your oldest child. I said, what?

My girls have rules for me on that. Say that again? She said, my oldest daughter said, you can't date anyone younger than 15 years older then you're oldest child. So if she's 27, that puts me at... That's why I don't have kids because they make fucking rules.

Kids shouldn't be making the rules. You'd be a great father, Bill. I always thought that. I would not be... I said this many times. I'd be the first people say to me all the time, Bill, if you had one of your own, it would be different.

No, I'd be the first guy to look in the crib and go, still nothing. It's true. That's enough tincture for you. I never... I never liked kids when I was a kid. You took the tincture thing out and poured the bottle in.

You're supposed to use the dropper. Take it as a compliment, Bill. I just, I'm enjoying myself. Numbing yourself. So much, I'm taking it right from the head. It's the jing that keeps me young. I keep them up with slogans for these people. It's the jing.

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Try a glass of Jing. Try a glass of this. What do we got there? Tequila or something? Yeah, tequila. I switched. I used to drink Jack Daniels, but it's a little healthier this stuff. No, it's not. That's what we tell each other.

We all say that. No, it is. The agave, sure, everything is... Everybody has a way of reasoning. No, no, no, I'm not saying it's health food. That's... You stick to one day a week, you're good. That is true.

That is true. But it depends on what you make it out of. I mean, you can make booze out of almost anything. I mean, vodka's potatoes, right? And many other things. You can make vodka out of potatoes, out of grapes. Sarak vodka, the one that Diddy used to have, that's out of grapes. Oh, really?

Yeah. Rice. I mean, anything. Right. You can make it out of... anything the agave plant apparently is a little more healthy to begin with but you're right it's look it's poison is poison and you are always making trade-offs sometimes we need a little poison exactly especially these days you're always except for brian johnson we are always making

trade-offs with our future self you're saying you know if i smoke this will it cost me five minutes at the end of my life i'm good to go with that bargain you've lived a great life you've a accomplished a lot. Well, let's not but you're frozen in time. You look the same age. It's incredible. I'm sitting up here very close to you and I'm saying, I don't know if you have a great dermatologist or something, but you look young.

The lines aren't really extreme. I think it's not having children. And I don't mean that as a put-down for children. I just mean that there is something psychological and, of course, also something physical. It takes a lot out of you. Not to mention the old bank account. But there's something about the psychology of

I am not passing this along I am it I'm still it until I have another mini me I'm still sort of the last one

and I have to keep this going and I have to be the young one and then when you have the younger one I can understand that the psychology is different it's like you're passing it through this other person and you're more or less likely

to have the eye of the tiger in Hollywood there's two stages of fathers right I mean the little, you know, the school I went through with my kids, you know, James Kahn was a father in the class with me. So I would have great times talking to Jimmy Kahn, but he was on his second lap, you know? I mean, if you imagine you, Bill Maher at almost 70 years old at Carpool. I mean, that's embarrassing.

It's embarrassing. It's Bill Maher. Oh, my God. First of all, I'd have to do it from a stretch limousine. Like Trump, which is very out of style. nobody uses a stretch limousine anymore there's like the unhippest thing in the world have you ever seen a celebrity in the last 10 years get out of a stretch limousy it's all SUVs and yes we got to bring back the stretch oh i would i don't you don't have to ask me i'm there i love the stretch i do did i do did i do did i do did to do i did too i don't know either the pot or your personality is getting to me but no i did too uh i used to love the old stretch limousine. And that's how I would deliver

my kids to school. I don't want to be seen it's embarrassing. It's been seen it on the subway. Wow, Bill Maher, I thought you were doing well. What are you doing on the... You know, sometimes they get celebrities on the subway because they think it gives them cool, cred. Wow, Mark Ruffalo, you're on the subway. You must be

like a regular person. And he is. And a nice guy and I love his work, blah, blah, blah. But like, whoever, I could have picked anybody. I just happened... But no, that, you picked a good one. You really know you did. Ruffalo's a perfect one. He looks like a homeless guy walking around New York. And also he wants to show his solidarity with the, you know, I get it.

It's fine. I hope he's still my friend. He did the show once. I liked him. I still like him. What do you mean? I hope he's still my friend. Did you say something?

Well, I just said something. We just used it. Mark is very forgiving. I know all the celebrities, Bill. I've dealt with them. I've kissed every one of their asses. I know everything. I know what they taste like, smell.

Yeah, you really have talked. Well, you certainly have talked to every A-lister, where it's, like, sometimes people say to me, it's so funny, you know, do you know, and then it's like somebody who I have, do you know Tom Cruise? I'm like, no, of course I don't fucking know Tom, you know, do you know. We have the same trainer. You know, and it's like, no, I don't know these people, but you do. Well, I don't know them. I mean, some I know they become friends, but I have interactions. You've had interactions with all of them.

I have had no interaction with people. except for the ones that come on the show. That's very, well, certainly, real time has very, very, very few celebrities. A lot of writers and people. Pundits, governors, senators, congressmen, people who, yes, exactly. Me, I've been on there. Yes, but most people are, you know, the show people,

this is not the show for them, you know, not putting them down, but you have to like no shit. And celebrities mostly do not feel the need. to know shit. And then there's many who, like, don't know shit, but it doesn't stop them from speaking. Because you can't just be known for memorizing words

that someone else wrote and spitting them back into a camera. It's got to be something more. And I think a lot of them get into trouble that way. Well, I mean, I'd say this a lot in this show, and they probably hate me for it in Hollywood, but they hate me anyway, so who cares? But celebrities

are just, some of them do, yeah. They do. The smart ones. But like celebrities, they're just a different breed. It's just like they're loaded with talent. Talent is different than, you know, knowing things. And, you know, thinking ain't their best thing often. Now, that's many, many exceptions to that. There are many very smart people.

And I always say in this business, any asshole can get five good years doing something, but the cream rises to this top and usually stays there. There's a reason why if you take the 20 greatest or most successful directors are the ones who are, they're all great to. I mean, you don't get to be that by being a fuck up and not having a vision and not knowing what you're doing and not being able to deliver on time and on budget. You're managing this $200 million enterprise of hundreds of people. And, you know, this is a job that the mediocre people just are not going to make whatever, Dune or whatever, fucking movies. Avatar, James Cameron.

Well, Avatar, sure. Yeah, all of them, the one that's on, I'm anxious to see the DiCaprio movie out now that's... People are raving over it. I watch the trailer. It's called, what? Another day. Oh, shit. Another way.

Another terrible bad day. Another bearded Leo. He looks very distraught. It looks good, though. It looks great. And it seems to be about something. You know, which is a lot to say for a movie. But really, I mean, most movies are spandex and shooting rays out of the end of your fingers.

And, you know, I mean, that's fine. But, like, it's great to see a movie that's an original story, and he's an original director. And I'm saying, this guy he did, what do you do? You know, what's the porn one with Mark Wahlberg? Dirk Diggler. Dirk Diggler. Why can't? Boogie nights.

Boogie nights. Baby. And there will be blood. I mean, he's a major director. And again, that cream rises to the top. People like that don't get to their job just by, you know, who you know and who you blow. Now, that's a little different in the... I would be right at the top if there were no problems.

Who you know and who you blow. Well... You never did that to get to the top. You... Did you? No, I never even... You paused. You paused.

not know what I was going to say is I never even accepted blowjob when I was the emcee at the comedy club because you know there were singers and once in a while it was you didn't know put out there that stage time you know maybe I could help myself with stage time and I I had enough integrity to like not go for go for that now that's a terrible thing yeah no it is a terrible thing unless well here's a good philosophical question is it a terrible thing if the woman wants to do it Well, I asked a very, very high-profile agent in town, a guy with whom I play some golf here and there. And I said, when the Weinstein thing was happening, I said, how many, and he represents big stars.

And I said, how many people do you think, you know, did it? And they're like right now going, oh, I'm sure. I mean, you know, and got a nice bump out of it. He said, a lot, tons. where, you know, I'm going to bang Harvey Weinstein. It's going to be a horrible experience. But you know what? Right.

I'm going to get something out of this. And from there, I'm going to parlay and boom, on to the next thing. I happen to know. Is it the worst? No, I happen to know from reliable, very reliable sources, as much as Harvey Weinstein is also absolutely, in my view, maybe I have to say, because I don't know where the legal thing is now. No.

In the right light. A definitive rapist who belongs in jail, there also were instances of where it was a transactional. Of course. I think I can get an Oscar out of this man, and is that worth a blowjob? It absolutely, that's their decision. I had, early in my day, a female executive when I was a very young man asked me to give a little spin. It was all part of a joke. was all, give me a little spin. Look at you. You're so cute and young. I love all that bushy hair. Look at you. Give me a spin. The whole thing. I could totally see that happening to you. And I was a pig and shit. I thought it was funny. I enjoyed it. But at the end, I could have said, man, man, man. Man, I could have amazing. Well, I mean, I could think of two instances. When I was young and dumb, when I first lived in New York, and I was hit on by a gay man in two different instances that I could think of. And sadly, that's it.

in my life. Like, I would hope, I would have hoped I was more attractive than to the own, but like twice. You're an acquired tasty. You're very attractive. No, and it was great because not traditionally. I remember the second time I did a set at the comic strip and I got offstage and there was this guy and he was like sitting at the bar and he was like, he's just telling me he thought I did a great set. And of course, you know, you're young and you're hungry for any sort of adjunct. you know finally a fan you know somebody like and is like great and I'm just like completely oblivious that this guy is gay and wants to fuck me and picking me up and and he's and he's like talking and we're talking it's like nothing and then he's like you know

you want to grab a bite and I was like again still stupid like no I got to go and do another set at the other club which I did and come with sure what a boo comes with and then like we were eating at the club after this show and like the second time the subject of homosexuality came up not a I it went bing oh I get oh late for the party this guy is bringing up the subject of homosexual just out of the blue like we can talk about art history sex with me sex with men I mean anything whatever furniture literature him you know ancient wisdom you know assholes whatever

Just whatever subject. And that's when I was like, oh, I'm on a date. I see. I'm on a date and I don't know it. Yeah, you're being groomed. And then I knew it and I was nice about it. I had the craziest thing happened to me in New York. You remember the four seasons on 57th Street,

not if they reopened it, but 57th in Park or whatever. I remember staying there. You always stayed there. And I was staying there for work and I was out, you know, shopping or whatever and I walk into the lobby and I go they didn't check cards back then they didn't check your room key I just went right to the elevator I get in this guy that's your white privilege asshole okay well this other white man gets in behind me and he's you know in the elevator with me and he's talking you're Billy Bush I said oh yes yeah he goes oh I see on TV sometimes

that's well thank you I push 12 he doesn't push it a number we get to 12 the door the door I get out. He gets out. And I'm like, oh, you're on, you're on 12. I know, we're on the same floor. Have a great time. I take a left. I go there down the hall to the right. I go to my room. He goes to the left, goes down the hallway the other way. And he's like, okay, good to see you. I'm like, okay, bye. And I get into my room about three minutes later, two minutes later. Uh-oh. Yeah. And I had the latch on. I don't know why. I never would put the latch on, but I had the latch on. And I said, hello? Because it had a weird feeling. And he says, hey, Billy, it's me. It's Andrew from the elevator. You exchanged names? Whatever his name was. But you already knew that from the...

It's me from the elevator. From the group, from the small walk. Small detail, Bill. Whether he said his name... No, no, no, it's not a small detail. Okay. If you exchange names... Well, he knew mine because he saw it from television. That's different. You're a celebrity.

And he says it's me. You said Andrew. Whatever his name was. Could be Phil. Phil from the elevator. I'm the guy from the elevator. Oh, I said. And I'm changing your story.

This is a legit story, Bill. I know it is. Bill, you don't want to relive this if it's not real. It's important whether you knew his name before he came to the door. Maybe he said Andrew. I'm throwing out a, Larry. I go with Larry. Okay, but that means that you had a conversation that.

I'm not interested in the story anymore, but I'm not telling you. And there's a big finish. I'm not telling you. I'm very interested. But you have to admit, that's an important detail. Because it implies a level of intimacy that would give him a little more purchase to knock on your door. Okay. Did I say to him in the elevator, oh, what's your name?

No, I wasn't engaging in conversation. He might have thrown it out. I'm using a standard default name. I'm done, Counselor. I usually use Larry. But anyway, he knocks. And I open. the thing a little bit, I go, yeah, can I help you?

And he goes, hey, I was just wondering, do you want to maybe have a drink or something in the bar downstairs? And I said, you know what? I got to go meet my mom for dinner. Thank you so much. No, I can't really. This is not at the end of the night. No, this is right there, the middle of the day, 4 o'clock. This guy, he liked to get it done early.

And I said, no, that's good. He goes, well, would you like to just maybe have a quick, quick dream? drink. Oh, wow. And I went, a quick drink. Like, we're just going to do shots or something, and it's going to, I said, no, really, I'm so sorry. I really don't want to keep my mom waiting. Thank you. All good. And he goes, then do you want one of these? And he looks down at my crotch. And he goes, do you want one of these? And he looks down at my crotch. And he goes, do you have done? And I said, no, thank you, though. And I had it, like, I'm going to take a shower. And he goes, do you want one of those? And I was like, that means a blow job. And I went that definitely. I said, no, thank you, though. And I said, and I closed the door. I actually thanked him for the offer. Close the door. And I go right to the phone and I call down the desk. And I said, hey, there is a guy on my floor. He lives at the end at the end, he just propositioned me and you need to get him out of here.

And I don't, and they looked at him and they said, Mr. Bush, I don't think the guy's on your floor. He's not staying in this hotel all. And I went, oh my God, the guy followed me in from the street, the whole. whole way, tracked me to the elevator all the way up. It's kind of a flex. It's kind of a flex for you. Well, I mean, I'm an attractive guy. You are.

I was in good shape, then. I was young. You know, gay men follow you. And they don't even know you're gay. I guess they... But I wonder what his hit ratio is. Like, how many times does that work? 10% of the time?

I gotta say, if that was me, I wouldn't have narc the guy, though. Bill? I wouldn't have. I would have just... Bill, he's on my floor and he's propositioning me. I'm absolutely calling and at least moving myself to another floor. You cannot do that to someone staying in a room. Yes, you can.

No, you can't. And what was he going to do? Get a battering ram and knock your door down? Maybe. I mean, he, look, the poor guy is lonely. Are you defending this guy? I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not defending him.

I, I, I'm just saying I would have handled it differently. I just would not have narked on him. Agree to disagree. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Absolutely. Because everything I did, I stand firmly by. And I'd do it again.

Hey, this is not nuclear disarmament. It's just, it's a small... Barely? I'm just saying I wouldn't have knocked the guy because I would feel bad for him. I would feel like... You would feel bad for the guy that followed me in from the street. You know what? I remember when I couldn't get laid.

And I remember... Oh, here we got. There it is. I remember when taking the, you know, the measure of myself and screwing up my courage to ask a girl out was like the hardest thing in the world. So I'm not saying this is like exactly like that, but it must took a lot of courage to knock on a stranger's door. Well, not a stranger. Apparently you had a conversation where you exchange names. And then.

This is an unbelievable relitigating. It's just from his point of view. I mean, and again, were you really worried you were going to get raped? You don't have to go to raped. Okay. That I was being stalked in my room in a hotel, Bill, it was very uncomfortable. Take it as a compliment. I like to be comfortable when I'm in my hotel room on the road.

Yeah, I do too. That's why they put the lock on the door. At no moment were you really uncomfortable, physically uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable as can be. My skin crawled, and I realized I was followed down the street into my hotel. And I believe they put in the key card. They had a security guy checking actual cards to see if, you know, they match people's room. So I guess this is a bad time to ask if you want to have a drink in my living room after the show.

Terrible. Too soon. Although I can handle you. He was a big guy. You, I can handle. I'm sure that. He was a big guy? He was a bigger guy.

So it was a bear. He was a bear. Was he a bear? I know what that is. I know. I'm sure you do. You're a sophisticated gentleman. Yeah, I know a bear when I said.

I know, I know. But was he a bear? He was a bigger man than me. A bigger man. I wouldn't call him a bear. A bear is really a great big guy. Well, if you hadn't gnarc'd know the town. If you hadn't gnarced on him, I would say you were a bigger man than him.

You know what? Andrew, I'm so sorry. Yeah. Could have been something. Andrew. Again, we seem to be so. I think it was Andrew. I don't know why that feels right.

I feel like it totally. I totally was. I've tried to wipe my memory from it. Well, apparently you didn't do it. You were now cementing it in my memory forever. It didn't do a good job because Andrew lives on in your mind. I mean, you remember his name after all these years? Are you sure there wasn't something more going on?

I don't believe that I deserved this year. This is very random in cloud. It's okay. You know, I've told this story before, but I think it's worth repeating when I used to do Hawaii every year and we would stay at the poor seasons with, I I think the most beautiful hotel in the world there in Maui. And the promoter was a gay man. And, you know, Tinder was a thing and as a thing.

And you know where there was a lot of active. You mean grinder? Grindr. Grindr. You know where there was a lot of active Tinder activity? The men's room of the lobby at the hotel. Because it's married men who are going down and having gay sex in the lobby bathroom of a five-star hotel

while their wife is sleeping or getting a massage or something. What is that? What is that that says, I want to go down there. It's gay sex. It's guys who are married who are really gay or gay when drunk or, I don't, you know. Gay in Europe. I mean, I was never tempted like that, you know. Like, I never understood that, you know, in the middle.

You've been a single man for a long time. Have you ever used the apps? No, the Tinder? Oh, God, no. Because those are like, you know, there's the nice app and the Tinder is just 100 yards away. I wouldn't know how to get on. I wouldn't know how to get on one if I wanted to and I don't want to. You've never done the Raya, which is the celebrity app, fancy people? Absolutely. Absolutely not. No.

Absolutely not. First of all, I don't think you can ever understand who you're meeting if it's on a screen. Also, who could possibly trust the pictures. True. I mean, I, people put... He'd be like, this guy thinks he's Bill Maher. That's so fun. People put their pictures on lots of things now. It's like right on your phone, like if it's the contact or whatever.

And like, I know these people. And I look at the picture and I'm like, okay, but I know you. This is not you. And so like, why would I do that in a dating situation? And then, of course, being famous, it's not a good look. I mean, I've seen celebrities who got embarrassed being on Raya because you people take a screenshot and then you just I'm out you don't want to look like some schmuck who's and you'd see how he's you're fucking hitting on someone you know it just it just everything about it is is a red flag to me and again I just don't think you can get the measure of a human being through a screen you have to sit close to them you have to be able to look in their eye you have to see their facial movement all of this is communication

to the part of your brain that may not be conscious, it may be unconscious, but it's all going in there, and it matters, and it's everything. And you have to literally smell them. You're not aware of it,

pheromones. Oh, a smell is great. The right smell is, you know it, when you hug. You can tell, and the laundry. I don't like any smell. How's your laundry? Is your laundry smell good?

You have good laundry smell in bed, you know, you've been with, someone's closed, they don't smell. Someone's close. It doesn't smell great. Again, I feel, I feel like there's no need for smell anywhere in laundry or humans. Like, I don't remember any, like, perfume. I don't wear a cologne or anything, and I don't like it when a woman does. I mean, yeah. I mean, if you, if you're... I don't like an overwhelming, but a whisper of the right thing is great. No, it's saying, I mean, it feels like you have to cover up something not good. Right. I mean, is a Isn't that a lot of why perfume themselves?

I have a fantastic cologne. I'm not wearing it now, but it's a nice little light spritz. It's a spray and a pullback. So it's so faint. I hear it really worked on Andrew. I feel like... He caught the back draft, and he followed me right in. I mean, I feel like he was almost entrapped.

Considering your... Now Andrew's the victim. Bill has turned this into Andrew is the victim. This is incredible. Considering your cologne, I feel... What is this, meet the press? This is a case of entrapment. But, no, I mean, Hollywood is just full of people who are married and then, you know, at a certain point, midlife, shall we say, became gay men.

I mean, some very prominent agents, managers, you know, stars less because they don't like it out there. Sometimes, I mean, we all know there are certain stars who are. We all know. We all have a list, a short list of the ones we can't say. Of the ones we can't say. And then there are others where... You go first. You name one.

I'm not doing it, Bill. I'm not doing it. I'm not going to do it. That's a terrible suggestion. But I will say this. There are stars who they say it about who are not gay. Tom Cruise, they say, I don't think Tom Cruise is gay. No.

He's a Scientologist. It's different. It's even weirder. Not that being gay is weird. I'm just saying it's less than the majority. But Scientology, that's his, I don't think you need Scientology and gay. All right, I have to tell you about this game-changing drink that the club random team uses before a night out. It's called pre-alcohol from Zbiotics, because let's be honest, we don't bounce back the way we used to.

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whether texting them back so soon was the best decision. Get on board. Via Rail, love the way. We bet you didn't know. Our new quieter trains are great for listening to that self-help podcast you lied about actually listening to. Get on board. Via Rail, love the way. You know, I did a big interview with Tom Cruise.

We never, ever, back in the day, 2005, we never wiped the format of Access Hollywood. It's always story, story, story, news, news. But for Tom Cruise, I wrote him a letter, and I said, Tom, you know, whenever we interview you, we ask, you know, who you're dating, whatever. It never goes anywhere. You always talk about Scientology.

So I thought, let's talk about it. And I said, I'd love to sit down with you. I thought he didn't want to talk about it. No, this was back when he did. And then it didn't go well. And so he stopped. But it all began with my interview with him. And then it went to Oprah's couch and to Matt Lauer.

You're being glib Matt. You're glib Matt. That started. The first one was with me. And I did a half an hour interview, Tom. His people got back and said, if you want to interview, Tom, you have to go to each of the four Scientology centers in Hollywood. And you have to see them all.

understand you can't just in this four right in Hollywood well there's the celebrity center and then there's the Narcanon or the whatever the with the narcotics center and then there's the human rights museum and there's one other they have a good cleanse maybe the other one's a sauna I don't know there's you know that they have a good cleanse Scientology I mean the rest of it is so bad shit I mean I can't even explain it what's the cleanse like a drink or like a steam like it no like a like a like a full cleanse like if you really want to like get rid of the talk

in your body. I mean, more than just a day. Like a real, it's like a month-long cleanse, but like, you know, if you want to, I haven't done it, but I know people who have who are not Scientologists, but the cleanse is good. Yeah. After that, the whole thing goes off the rails. Goes off the real. I'll try the cleanse. But the cleanse is good. So it's just saying there's goodness and everything. That's all I'm saying. The point is I sit down with Tom for a half an hour. We talk about everything under the sun. And that's where, you know, everybody picks up on stuff. We talk about psychotropic drugs, which he doesn't believe in. And I said, well, you know, you worked with Brooke Shields.

And, you know, I mean, she took this axel, you know, the drug for postpartum depression. He's not completely wrong about the big idea that we take. Well, it was not the time to say it because he said, oh, yeah, where's Brooks' career now? And then that went off. Didn't really? And then Matt Lauer followed up on that. And then they had their falling out. And it was, but Tom thought the interview with me went great.

He wrote me a beautiful hand. written note and sent me an $800 bottle of wine. Billy Bush, you are an upstanding man. That was an incredible interview. You're way too good for these entertainment. You're terrific. You're the... And I was like floating on a cloud with Tom.

And then two days later, the couch and then Matt and... Boom. He never talked about it again. But I will say this. You can judge Scientology. It works for him. Like different things work for different people. The guy was dyslexic.

He couldn't read a script. He couldn't memorize anything. That somehow connected to him and made him the most prolific actor there is. Okay. That's like saying... That's a good point. Yeah. You'll give me that.

But, well, I can't really because it's like saying the kingdom of Saudi Arabia works for the king of Saudi Arabia. Yeah, it does. You can say that. It does. It does. And in Scientology, there's a lot of evil shit that goes on in Scientology. I mean, people seem to disappear. You might disappear, be careful.

I know. They seem to be imprisoned. They seem to be subject to like horrible things like, you know, scrubbing floors for years. And I mean, it's just there is, I mean, and they're very litigious. And also they go after people who leave. I mean, look at Leah Remini and all the stuff she's exposed. So the fact that he's, you know, at the apex of this organization, yes, it works for him. And I say that all adding, I'm a huge fan of his work. Of his work.

And also. But he wouldn't be able to do his work with that, according to him. I would love someone to be able to ask him about this. Like, Tom, you are, everyone loves you. You're such a nice guy. Everything you do is right and perfect and blah, blah, blah. You must be aware that this is going on in this organization that you're a part of. I mean, don't you, don't you?

No one's getting close enough to do that. Right. And, but he. He could stop that. He has the power. I mean, it's not David Miskavich. It's Tom Cruise, who was really the head of the church. But Tom doesn't appear with Miscavage anymore.

He doesn't go to the, I think he's a passive member. I mean, at this point, I mean, you know, anyone who's a high-profile member? No. Okay, but if you're aware of this shit that's going on, and you, I mean, you know, look at those shows that Leah did. I mean, you know, people having to escape from it like it's a concentration camp in North Korea. I mean, it's just crazy. But it holds him together. What holds you together?

It's not religion. So what's like, is it the universe? What is the constant that centers Bill Mark? It's a great question, Regis. And the answer... Because you know what? You look like you might need some centering, Bill. Centering.

We're going to center you. You are. That is dead on. But, no, I am centered. I mean, I think that's a lot what holds me together. I never, like, really go too far either way. Yeah, you seem even killed. Even killed, you know, being a comedian, I think, helps with that

because, first of all, it gives you perspective. You laugh at everything. Second of all, you never have that kind of, like, you're not like a musician who gets on this level that's like people are just treat you like a god. They don't treat comedians like a god. They like them. Comedy's king.

But you're not like, you don't. I don't live in this. I mean, some of the musicians, you've interviewed music. I mean, they live in a bubble world of God, no, I mean, because there is just such adulation that they don't have to live in reality. So I never had that, which is great. And I also try not to get too low about the bad times.

Yeah, that's the key. And, you know, I also am very aware that I'm basically lucky. Good parents, stable upbringing, never enjoyed being a child, but it wasn't a nightmare. And... Are you an only child? No. Why does everyone ask me that?

I know, you feel like you... I don't know. I know. No, I have a lovely older sister who's going to come out and visit me soon and, you know, she still lives back east and where we grew up in New Jersey and... Where in Jersey, we're in?

Bergen County, New Jersey. Sure. She lives in the city. The Republicans will be interested in that Richard Nixon retired too after he was president, Park Ridge, New Jersey. Wow. I lived in Jersey a little bit.

You did? Three years in the Jersey. Oh, yeah, because you grew up in the area. But I was out in Chatham, New Jersey, up by Morristown. That's so waspy bush. Oh, no, it's not. No, these are some, no, it's not Westchester. Oh, please.

It's not Westchester, which is what, this is, Chatham is really good, like, simple, normal people. It's not, you're thinking of, you're thinking of Summit, Short Hills. Now you're thinking that, Chatham is really good people. Yeah. Salt to the Earth. And yet you had a two polo pony garage, I understand. Three.

Did you ever play polo? No. No. No. I was a real athlete, Bill. Polo, that's not a riding on a... It would be too frustrated. I was a lacrosse player, a hockey player.

Where do you live now? I live in L.A. For some reason, still. I'm not going to die here in L.A. At some point, I'm going to get out of L.A. I'm an East Coast guy. Really? Yeah.

See, I don't think most people think that about you. Well, I've been here 21 years. I mean, I know from my friends who now, a lot of them, the millennials, are moving back to New York. And they tell me, they say, L.A., it's lovely with the weather and all that stuff. But compared to New York right now, it's so dead. And I think that's probably true. I think it is. I mean, it's a, now, for my age where I'm dug in here, I love it.

do the weather is the most important thing i ain't going anywhere but they do say you know any night if it's 11 o'clock at night and i want to do something and go out i can call people and they're out and i can go places and they're out and that is just not l.a's but that's also not my if i was 40 that would appeal but you can walk out on the corner and get a cab and go or now a waymo and go wherever you want yeah no in a second yeah L.A it's like we're going out to dinner and but i'm not going over there but then you have to live in new york with the shitty weather and you have to live in a building to live in a... Duck into a little pub, you can go to a little diner like you like.

This is a little pub. I mean, that I don't care. Well, I can't just duck into here. I mean, this is scheduled. I'm cleared with security the whole thing. But it doesn't work tomorrow. There's no place you can just duck into it. I'm going to come by tomorrow, Bill. I'm going to come by tomorrow. We're going to have a little puff and a little hang. Do you, I mean, I had drinks a week ago after the show at the Oh, I love that. Yeah.

A lot of professionals in there, Bill. It's so funny. A lot of hookers in there. I was with two young ladies who were good friends of mine. How young? They were like, I was like, I just want to have a dress.

The show, the week had been a real bear and not the kind Kennedy eats, just a real bear. Or the kind that shows up at my door. And so I was like, I need a fucking drink. You know, where are we going to dinner? I was like, we're not going to dinner. We're going to drink first.

And then they were telling me, yes, And I had known this, but that is like, and I was like, oh, I want to see the horrors. It was like, it was like a theme park or like, I want to see the horrors. Because I had heard of that. And I've never, I don't normally go there to drink. The little lobby bar off to the left. Oh, that's professional. But we were there too early.

And it was like, there were no horrors. Terrible horror. It was like when you go to the zoo and the polar bear won't come out because he's sleeping inside of his igloo. It's like, come on. I came all the way to the zoo. Can I not see the fucking polar bear? But we had to go to dinner. Hooker watching is the bet.

Bill, I grew up in New York City. I'd call my, when I was a little boy, I was probably 12 years old, 14, 13. I'd call my friend in the building, and I'd say, let's sneak out. The parents would go to sleep, 1230. We'd go down the elevator, right out on 86th Street, and go up and watch the Hooker's work. It was fascinating. What did you see? We would just see them with the shorts and the very tight little, you know, short dresses, picking up guys on the street and we'd just watch them.

Ladies of the night, knowing that they were going to go have sex in a car or something. Right. Or behind the dumpster. That's true. Yeah. Were you able to hear what they were saying to the prospective customer? Yeah, occasionally. You know, as you got used to it, you could go up and listen to some of the lingo by a dime bag.

I remember when I used to walk from my... Shitweed. When I used to walk from my shitbox apart. on 8th Avenue on 55th Street, down to the improv, which was the third club in New York when I started, on 44th and 9th. That was the original, like, showcase comedy club. That's Bud Friedman, started that in 1962.

And that was the theater district. All the other comedy clubs, the comedy store, Catch Your Rising Star, the comic strip, all, they all came... Bottoms up, belly up, what was it called? The belly room? Which is the one down at the belly, the bottom? The belly room is in the comedy store.

That's for the, that's like just women in the belly room. I'm sure there's something wrong with that, but don't blame me. I didn't invent it. Interesting. But I would walk from 55th down to 44th along 8th Avenue, and that was prime Hucker territory. And it was always, again, the naiveity of the 22-year-old, the first time the hooker was like, you want a date?

And I was like, a date? Where are we going? Frankie and Johnny's? You know, a date. Should we go into a duet of something stupid? It's like what Andrew said to me in the hotel, you want to drink? And there wasn't a drink.

A date? Well, you know, I've got to do a set, but oh, I see. Oh. You know. I eat one of those clubs I interviewed Jerry Seinfeld down there when I was young. It was my most humiliating, like, I was probably a year into the job. And being a New Yorker, I wanted Jerry Seinfeld to like me.

I'd say, I mean, I just wanted to be liked by Jerry. Who doesn't? Who doesn't? I was paired like crazy, and I just, and I went down to interview Jerry, and it was downstairs in a comedy club. The comedy seller. It started with a B. The comedy seller.

Seller? He was promoting his. In Greenwich Village? Maybe. The comedy seller, yes. Comedy seller. It's still there and very famous. And it was not there when I first started, but,

Soon after, I did sets at the comedy seller. It was there in the early 80s. So, yes, it's been there forever. It's where Chris Rock and Louis C.K. And lots of guys go when they want to try up materials still. And maybe Jerry still. I don't know. But, yeah, it's a great club.

It was very, it was his place. He knew everybody. Jerry was wearing a white t-shirt with a sweater over. And I'm wearing a button-down shirt, like very thin button-down shirt. and so Jerry is clearly warmer than I am. But I am so nervous and the lights are on and it's two cameras and it's me and Jerry and I'm so prepared and things are going great

and the interview is rolling and then I start thinking about how it's going great. And another voice comes in and I'm so young at them and then I talk myself out of the fact that it might be going great and broadcast news occurs I'm sitting with Jerry, and I start to sweat. And a little, it's like the map of Rhode Island appears on my chest, and I'm like,

and then I'm thinking about it and like, no, this can't happen to me. It's going so great. Jerry fucking likes me. This is working. Rhode Island becomes Massachusetts. All of a sudden, we've got New England, and fucking Africa just shows up. And Jerry finally goes, are you going to be okay? And I just, oh.

He loved it, and for the rest of time, he brings it up. Are you going to be okay? Well, I could have saved you all that. I've known Jerry for a very long time. He's one of the greatest humans, you know, obviously other than comedy, but I started with a lot of people and know a lot of comics. But Leno and Seinfeld are the two best humans that I know from the business. but the idea that Jerry Seinfeld would give a shit about whether he liked you or not

yeah exactly way off the fact no he might but it was but what a what you whatever you were trying to do to make that happen couldn't make it happen it would either come for what it was or it wouldn't and he would not apologize if he didn't like you well because I sweat so much he ended up really liking that's great and so we became great you And then I'm forever time. Yeah. So do you still want to be in the interview game? Yeah, I mean, I'm doing my podcast, which you're promoting right now, hot mics.

And, you know, we have all kinds of people in, including you, I hope. Sure, absolutely. That would be wonderful. And by the way, Chuck, you know, works in the same building over at Howie Mandel's place. Right. Become great friends with Howie. And he built a whole new studio for us because it's going great. and I love that and I love

you know so we have lots of people in and I'm doing it for myself we got sponsors and stuff and it's about the same money as TV do you think TV is essentially dead I mean like I mean obviously it's still

thriving because they I still read every year in May they have the up fronts which is Christ they did that when I was doing sitcoms in the 80s where they sell the ad dollars to the people who are advertising on TV, and somehow it's still like $9 billion. Yeah, I know. It's crazy.

Because there's a lot of people who are still watching CSI and whatever the fuck they got on. Oh, they're still milking every last bit of it right now. They're putting out new CSIs and NCISs and things. And people watch my show on YouTube and lots of other places, but people still have HBO. And, you know, so it's not quite dead yet. But obviously we saw recently with Colbert and Kimmel.

Now, obviously, there was police. politics involved in that, but they were also shows that were losing money. There's no doubt about that. Of course. There's no doubt that that form, I thought it was anachronistic for years. I mean, the idea that people in this age would, like, sit there at 1130 at night and wade through the commercials, and they don't. They watch the clips, you know.

Of course, but I would think that your, the YouTube money that you make on real time is probably significant. I mean, people watch new rules. They want to see. your monologue and so they put it out in 15 minute form they put it out the whole episode they put out the shorts yeah i bet you monetize more than you probably know i'm sure they do i'm just saying obviously this business is changing that and streaming you know um are the two biggest things and tv it's almost like well why would you want your job back in tv because tv is sort of the past i mean i'm going to hang on to mine as long as i'm I can. But again, it's on different forms. I never worry about the way the industry changes because I'm content. They will always need content. They can beam it from the moon off my ass. They would still need content. They're going to change how they show people's shit,

but people still just basically want to watch shit because they don't. You'll go longer than anyone else and most people, and I'll tell you why. I already have. Right, but you are the, you're also like a boutique it's nice to have in the portfolio. David Zasloff of Warner Brothers loves having Bill Maher

in real time in his portfolio, just like he loved Curb Your Enthusiasm and Larry and he begged Larry to do another season because those are like they give him great pride to have those in there. So you're good for another 10, I see. maybe, 80-year-old Bill Mark.

Again, what I'm selling, you can do for a long time, because I'm selling comedy and wisdom, and yeah, you can do that at 80. If I was, you know, Benson Boone, I can't at 80. You know, I don't know him, but I know he flips on stage, and that's not an 80-year-old thing, but what I'm doing could be.

I mean, my thing was built for longevity. It's true. Like I said, you don't have that musician thing where you're like, you know, the flavor of the year and you're just everyone's just like like sucking your job but you have longevity that that i mean very few musicians are relevant past 40 some some past not past and athletes models they're all done by mid 30s um well you've been doing this forever yes i i mean i only got started in mid 30s but that's the nature of it you know i had a talk show that was going to go on when i was

29 and they never put it on the air and they were probably right. It's like, don't send a boy to do a man's job. It's just not the kind of thing you can do without some gravitas. It's not a job for a 29-year-old. That's still true. Build it politically incorrect. I mean, you have it on the wall there. I mean,

I was on that show. Way back in the day, I don't know if you remember. It was on that show. How could you remember you? Everybody was on that show. I was on that show, and I was on real time. So I've been on your... And now here, the trifecto. I mean, I've got the trifecto. factor. That makes us friends. If you have three hangs, you're friends. That's it. I've always

my friend, Bill Maher, loved the way the show business part of it, if done organically, can lead into friendship. But it has to be organic. It can't be, you can't be the talk show host who's, you know, meet somebody once and right after the show, can I get your number? You know, You can't be that. It has to happen so that 20 years down the road when someone sees you in a bar together and they say, how do you guys know each other? You just go, I don't know.

I don't know. You know, I just feel like I always knew him. But yeah, I know I didn't. But somewhere along the way, we just became, and that. I'd like to be in your mentor program. I'd like to meet Andrew. What's your status? Are you married now?

Why? asking Andrew and I are quite happy, Bill we don't have room for you asking for a friend I'm a single man I'm a single man I'm a single man yeah

I was married for 20 years yeah great woman we're still very close three great daughters I just heard Nicole Kiddman and Keith Urban 20 years I know what

you say it like you really care I love the look on your face I was like I know I mean come We, the celebrity community, really suffered a loss. I mean, boy, people think there's problems around the world, you know, Middle East and so forth. But what about this? No, I mean, it's sad, but, like, it is amusing to me the way when a couple breaks up, and everywhere in the media sphere, they are all speculating.

What could it be? What could it be? You know, was it the, she's on the set with kissing other men, or is it, it's like, it's, it's, it's, always the same thing. They're fucking tired of each other. Humans weren't meant to spend every fucking day together, and they do. And after a while, it's just like, I can't do it anymore. It's not like I don't love you anymore. I do, but I've just seen you too much. And I'm tired of you. Have you ever heard of the French sex therapist, relationship therapist, Esther Perel? Sounds vaguely familiar. Yeah. Big, you know, TED talk on YouTube.

Millions and millions and millions. I, when I was separated and wondering, can we put this back together, I booked a $1,200 an hour session. She's probably $15,000 now. This was a while back. But she said to me something interesting. She said, everyone will have two to three great loves in their life. Some people will choose to have that with the same person,

which I thought was interesting. meaning, you know, 20-year installments would be like a really good run. And I would have loved to have gone on, but I think it just, you change, you become different people, you gotta re-up. So it's like a re-signing. I mean, that's a very interesting statement

to me, having reached this age, because it's almost exactly right in my life. As far as like someone who was perfect for me, I feel like that did come around twice. roughly 30, 60, and I ain't waiting until 90. Are you dating now? Let's not talk about that. I want to know.

No, I don't talk about that. I'm very happy, very happy. I mean, that's as I kept it. I'm happy. Yeah, good. But I could be happier. I'll say that. But you're single.

Yeah. Oh. But I think I'm ready for the... Let's go to the... Hey. I'm going to say, you know, I've got plans. but I'm available. I'm going to sue me for this.

I mean, it's like, I'm kind of saying that they're the hotel where you get horrors. They may but give me a bonus. I don't know. Maybe I'll get free drinks. There are professionals work escorts working in Los Angeles at all the nice hotels. And there should be.

Yes. I mean, it's your prerogative. You're a businessman. You're on the road. If that's what you want to do, that's you're right. Those are a libertarian. You don't even have to be traveling

or a businessman, you just have to be a human being who, you don't have to be a business. You don't. There's a wide range of where we are as far as, and that's my symbol for a wide range, of where we are on the scale of companionship. I mean, there is like ultimate true love. Great. That's what we're all maybe aiming for, but we fall short sometimes. And there's every, I mean, friends with benefits.

I mean, what's that? Should we judge that? I don't. I don't think we should. But okay. But it's somewhere on the scale between absolute true Abelard and Eloise Love and over here, the whore. That's over here. You don't even like go to a room.

Okay, that's over here. Let's call that completely transactional. Oh. Okay. And then there's like maybe the escort, you know, thing. I was just watching this wonderful movie. I think it's called Madame X with Jacqueline Bissette and Linda Hauer. It's terrific. I'd never heard of it, and it's about this magazine writer who goes over to talk to Jacqueline Bissette in Paris, and she runs this sort of agency for escorts, and, you know, Linda Hamilton thinks, oh, this is just a nice way of saying they're a bunch of whores, but no, it's more like courtesans. She's training these women to be sophisticated, and they meet these well-to-do gentlemen. Look, there's an element to that in it, but there's an element to that in life. And it's just very sophisticated sort of parisional.

flavored movie. I thought it was terrific. And it, you know, gets it something real, which is there is a certain amount of horse trading before we get to absolute true love. And, you know, I don't really think we should judge anybody wherever they are on that journey to it. But I'll tell you what. I mean, I know some friends, the courtesans, it's an active thing. Los Angeles has a very thriving escort business. It does. Have stars ever confided that in you? No. No, I wouldn't tell me that.

Right. Why would you tell me? No, that's true. Dumb question. Dumb question. Yeah. Never. So you're single, and you would rather be a married person?

That suits your personality? I will tell you this. You know, I've been single for a while. The whole thing had a nice... I would say now, I think a nice... Yeah, so I don't want to die alone. Bill, I want a nice partner. And it will be the, but I won't do the one-night stand thing.

I'm too fucking old for that, by the way. You can't be 53 hooking up with people. Well, but can I just comment on one thing? Again, this lovely agree-to-disagree relationship we have, you are going to die alone. I promise you when you're dying. Someone be holding my hand? Yeah, but they're not coming with you.

No. You're going to die alone. That's true. You're going to die alone. I mean, it would be nice to have a hand. To me, I feel like I'd almost be more upset, and I hopefully will be holding a hand. I mean, I know what hand I'll be holding, I think.

But I think it would make me even sadder because it's like, oh, wow, I do have to let go of you now. Yeah, this is it. I'm not going to see you in three weeks or ever, but, you know, maybe our pets are up in heaven together. I mean, it's, that's, so I, to me, that argument, which I've heard a lot, I've also heard the argument of when you get old, who's going to feed you the soup when you can't, like, I don't want someone to feed me the soup. If I'm at that stage, I'm not feeling sexy. You know, it's hard to go from feed me the soup to let's get freaky tonight. So I just think if I'm that far gone, no, I don't, it's like, I don't want you alone in a room. See, I've got three daughters. They're going to be there.

They're going to be there. They're going to make daughters. They're going to be there. Sons, if I had them, probably not. But the daughters will be there, Bill. Of course they were. That's going to be a beautiful thing. All that money I spent on them through the,

and they're going to usher me out. I was with my dad when he died, and you may not believe in God, but I'll tell you what, you believe in something. You believe in energy in the universe or something because... I believe there's a universe. When he left the room, Bill, I was on Instagram or something because he hadn't talked in three hours,

and he was in the twilight and wait wait wait go back you're you're talking about this is your father's my father in 2021 his his you're at his death bed i am in his yeah it's in florida in his bedroom and and my mom's in the kitchen you knew he was done oh yeah yeah no we were in the hospital two days before he had a heart condition where they said they sent him home because we're going to pump his heart full of this fluid it's probably 48 hours max right and dad said or we can keep him going in the ICU you know you want to die at home take me home There's a moment. Yes. Bill, talk about a beautiful death. He, he, the nurses, you know, got him in his golf shirt. They combed his hair. Mom, Dad, me, the three of us. My brother, his wife is giving birth to a child in Boston. So he can't be there. By the way, same name. And they went in and out the same day, Bill. It's getting more religious. And we're sitting in the room and we have a martini toast. Dad has a very small martini. Mom. a middle one.

He was able to even sip a martini? Yeah, we have a martini toast. And he said to me, I want to do, you know, I really would like to do one thing with mom that doesn't involve her taking care of me. Like some kind of like a hand of cards or something. And so mom tried to sit there and play cards with him. We had a martini toast.

And the next day, he starts to go. And I'm sitting in the room. Mom's in the kitchen. And I'm on my phone. because he hasn't spoken in, you know, three hours, but I'm with him and he's still breathing. And all of a sudden, I feel this tremendous energy. Lift, and I went, whoa, whoa.

It was profound. And I look over and just then he had died. His spirit left the room and I felt it all over me. And I went, oh, my God. Mom, he just left. And she comes in and she goes over and holds his hands. Yes, he did. And that was an energy shift.

I will never forget. So whatever it is, it was powerful. Think about when you leave the room, what a personality. Oof, it's an earthquake. You know, the problem is sometimes when you do that, you also fart. And then it's like your... Dad would have laughed. He would have laughed.

The goodness of, you know, being raptured up there, but then the fart. But no. Look, I'm not going to poo-poo that because I've known too many people, smart people, intelligent people, not drunk people, not religious people, who have had some experience, not at that moment of death. This is the first I've heard of that, but it's the same kind of thing. With what can only be called ghosts. He went somewhere because the shell, it looked different.

As soon as that happened, he looked like a hardened shell. I don't know what the answer is on that, but I, you know, I'm always in the school of, I don't know, I don't know. I have no dogmatism about it. I don't think it's Jesus dying on the cross 2,000 years ago has a lot to do with it. But is there some sort of energy transference or something? I don't know. All this that's in there, it goes somewhere.

The shell that you're in is just a shell. But the thing, the Bill Maher is in there. Possibly. It's an energy and it's going somewhere. Or possibly not. It's also possible not, but it's, but again, I'm, I can't. Well, I know because I witnessed it, so I know it for a fact. I mean, I know that you know something happened.

Something majorly happened and I went, and I sat up like, I felt it physically. You felt it all over me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now I, I, I'm, I'm, you know, I don't know, with nobody knows, but I don't discount the idea that something does go on beyond. I don't know what it would be and where I fit in and if there's a bar. You ever done a psilocybin journey?

Of course. You're talking about mushrooms? I just did, no, like a real five-hour journey with a guide and the whole thing where you see things. I didn't have a fucking guide. I was in college. Who was a guide? You were at the sphere. You were at the sphere.

We put them in a blender and ate it. Okay, that's different. I did that too. Tripped our brains out for five hours. No, I'm talking about a real. It's the same thing. It's five hours. Oh, I'm talking about a journey.

A journey? Yeah, it was a journey. It was a laugh journey. I'm talking about on the ground, blanket, eye mask. Were you laughing? With the music, no. Then you weren't on mushrooms. Yes, I was on psilocybin, sassafras, and whatever other.

This is from Peru. Missile to. Missile to is a real thing. Oh, I'm not saying we have to. These are real plants, four capsules, and deep down a slide and like, off into a five-hour journey of the most emotional experience I've ever had. I'm crying. I'm seeing my dad and everyone.

I saw you for a minute. I mean, it was powerful. It wasn't, you know, trumps in the sphere. That's a little different. But can I offer... But it's healing. Can I offer one suggestion? I think if Andrew, instead of playing it the way he played,

had knocked on your door. Like a man. Like a man. And you opened it, and it's got the crack. Not all that. dialogue about drinks and this, which is bullshit that you can smell if he just said nothing, but

unzipped his fly, took his dick out and held the mistletoe. It might have worked out differently. Over your dick. I mean, to me, that's elegant. Well, at least it's funny. It's clever. Yeah, he's clever. It's clever. You're saying, you know what? It was December, I think, too. I'm a straight man.

I don't really want to suck this dick, but that's good. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm missing something. Well, I hope you find happiness in the romantic realm. I believe so. Because, as Freud said, you know, there's really only your work and your love life. Those are the two things that determine whether you're happy or not.

And, you know, some people are unlucky and they don't have either. Some people get lucky and you have both. I've certainly had times in my life when I've had neither. I've had times in my life when I've had one, times of when I've had both. And if you only have one, you're kind of like walking around on one leg. Right.

You know. Yeah. Whichever one it is. I've known what it feels like to be, like, in love, but my career isn't the shitter. Or my career is going... Has your career ever been in the shitter? Of course.

Really? No. You were out of business for a minute, but then you went right to the new show. Okay, well, I started as a comic in the early 80s. I'm talking about like real, once you're on TV. Well, that's my life.

That was very important to me. Okay. Okay. This is the most important part. So, like, when I started, we all wanted to get on a sitcom, come out to California, do the Tonight Show, get on a sitcom. I did all that exactly as you're supposed to. Got on a sitcom, got on another sitcom, got on another sitcom.

But after three sitcoms, that kind of like played itself out. And yes, then I was like wandering in the wilderness for about five or six years. years before I got politically incorrect. So that's very common in show business. You have that era where you are just sort of, oh, I thought I was well on my way, but then I wasn't. Even Frank Sinatra had that. Remember from here to eternity was his comeback movie

because he was like the biggest thing in the world and then he couldn't get arrested. He was opening supermarkets. I mean, that, you know, show business is not a steady climb, usually. No. I've been very fortunate, yes. Was it your idea politically incorrect? Yeah.

You brought it, pitched it. Of course. That's the move. But, you know, I've been, again, like I say, comedy, you don't get the skyrocket to the moon, but it's steady. It's steady, and you can work till 80. Or with AI, who knows? I mean, I could be out doing my show on the moon. Hello.

I'm AI. Bill Maher. Beamed off your ass. Oh, and I'm on for it. No. Computer's going to go greatest. Imagine if I was pimping for fucking AI and the, like it was really just the AI me and I was trying to sell the audience and how great AI was.

Ugh, I hate AI. I don't want it. I want E.I. And I saw you have one drink. Yeah. That's your limit. No. No.

So you drink? Yeah. Okay. But just because you were mentioning mushrooms... I like a little of everything. No, the mushrooms was a soul-searching sort of a real, you know, in place of the therapist. Oh, like Aaron Rodgers. Like Aaron Rogers and ayahuasca. Yes. Okay. So you had like an...

But I don't like the throwing up part. The ayahuasca, this stuff is... Mike, I'm not there to purge. So what did the mushrooms teach you? They incredible things. I had a nice connection with my father that I needed because my father, because my father was old school, you know, you get married and you work through it and that's it and you don't ever get divorced. And he was really, and I, the guilt and the shame

that I carried from the divorce was very much from my beloved dad, who I love a wonderful man of morals and integrity. What are you guilty about? What are you famed for us? I just feel like, ah, you know, I should, Dad, you don't know, it's hard to explain, But the old man was such a great guy, and I just felt like I wish I could have pleased him.

Well, that doesn't explain why you felt bad about getting divorced. I mean, things happen in life. That's true. People change. Love dies. It's unfortunate. It doesn't have to. Yeah, but for him, he was so disappointed.

And you see your old man who loves you so much disappointed. It's hard. He was sad about it. See it. But I always want to ask people. But what's, okay. So I'm a bad guy because I was married for 20 years. Well, I'm not a bad guy.

No, no, I'm just, hypothetically, I'm saying, I'm not saying me either. I was never married, but, like, this is how people think. Like, because society makes you think this way. I'm a bad guy because I was married for 20 years, and then, okay, I dump my wife. Oh, my God. And I even got with a younger woman, maybe. This is, you're just the worst person in the world. Okay, granted, worst person in the world.

My question, as opposed to what? I'm not happy. We're in a dead relationship. But I should just suck it up for the rest of my life. That's your alternative. Just suck it up because that's bad. I agree with that. I agree with that.

But for me, it was, you know what it was? It was letting go of everything in the past. What the journey did for me, what this psilocybin journey did was everything is two feet in the future. Just don't spend a minute on the old stories or the old things that you tell yourself. right fucking let them all go and keep two feet in the future and that is what i came out of it with and whew that's it fired that therapist right away because what i give him 400 bucks a week and we have the same conversation you fired who my therapist the psychiatrist i would go and sit on the couch like this sir and i fired him and i said you know what we're having the same conversation

every week and i pay you the same and well i don't want to see you next week and have the same conversation so yeah i could have told you that i had the answers oh i had them just needed to get over the wall bill the scarred tissue i mean i'm not saying therapy doesn't help some people and it's valid sometimes but i mean for somebody like you yeah it to me this was always just bullshit i mean you don't need a fucking therapist and also the idea that mushrooms did a better job and therapy i kind of love. Yeah. I kind of love that.

Bill, I'm going back. I'm doing it again. Doing what? This is another, another journey. Oh. I love it. It's the most, you access emotions you have in you, but you can't get them just in it. Okay, but this is very interesting to me because I've done mushrooms many, many times.

But this was not the experience. The experience of mushrooms, and not just me, everybody, when I did them, was you just laugh your ass off. So they must be doing something different with the mushrooms, adding something to it that makes it much more of this introspective experience. Because for me, the mushroom experience, it wasn't introspective in that way. What was different than every other drug was every other drug makes me horny, and mushrooms made me think about sex and go, why would I put a part of my body inside a part of your body? That was like the funniest, most ridiculous thing in the world.

I'm going to put this thing and going to get bigger. First of all, that was 10 minutes of left. And then I'm going to put it in you, in you? Like, you're another person. I'm going to put something. This date is over. This is a crazy idea that a part of me goes into part of you. What are we, Legos?

You know, and that's what mushrooms did to my mind. Yeah, but you didn't do the journey. You ate a little, you ate some caps and stems and you did that. These are capsules of, you know, plant medicine from Peru. This is just a harder version. And you, two capsules, a walk in the garden with these people at their home. They're both in their 70s. They've been doing this for 20 years.

They're incredible people. All stemming from a conversation I had on an airplane with a guy who was a big private equity guy. And he's like, I don't drink, I don't smoke. But I'll tell you what, psilocybin saves the world. I said, we talked for two hours straight. I go to these people that he sets me up with. We, two capsules, walk in the garden, come back. I said, I'm feeling something.

And she said, okay, two more capsules. And I'm going to lay you down right here. Blanket, eye mask, music. And I'm sitting there going, I'm going to tell her I need more. It's not working. We've all done this with edibles, right? And then... Exactly.

Down a slide. off the end of the slide and I'm floating in this journey Bill I see everybody I see my mom and dad's relationship I see my daughters I see my ex-wife I see my brother and I see you know what he wanted as a little boy

and he didn't get the attention and all the little traumas get addressed and I see everybody I want to see and I feel and I understand and everything goes in its place it's over the music is playing and the journey follows the music and I take the mask off when it's over

and I say, how long was I down? Thinking it was an hour. He said five hours. And I went, wow. I think you might have really set me on the right path. I had not want to leave. It was incredible. You saw all these people from your family, like in the past?

In present? And past. My dad, my mom, I saw their relationship. I understood their marriage better. Can you tell W not to go to Iraq? Yeah. No, I'm kidding. Okay, so...

He's not going to do your show. Oh. He just texted me, Peter. You know what? He said, Bill was doing great until then. I've also said, in the spirit of, like, keeping a completely open mind, there is every chance, I would even bet on it that in 20 years, or 10, or five, I don't know. Somebody will put out an article talking about how smart it was to go into Iraq. Because one thing you can always count on is revisionism.

I'm not there yet, but, you know, the Middle East is a very fraught, weird, dangerous place where the world could end for a number of different reasons, and it's fucked up in a lot of ways. And, you know, again, I wasn't for it, but we don't know what the future will hold and how it will make things in the past. We don't know what the balance will be. I mean, it was a very Texas reaction. You know, it was like, they kicked us, kicked our ass. We're going to kick their ass. Somebody's ass is getting kicked.

Yeah. War. Where? I don't know. I'm not a detail guy. You figure out where. No, you know, he would. It was the wrong country.

It was a country that did not attack us. But let's not get into that. No, let's get into that. That would be really fun. Iraq did not attack us. That's why it was crazy. It was like, it was like. Did you see the pitch at Yankee Stadium?

Did you see that pitch? did you see country comes together on a pitch one pitch and he can pitch he could pitch I could do that too I saw what a moment I saw 50 cent pitching again oh my god he's the worst terrible terrible the Cubs game well there was one he did like five years ago that was just way beyond embarrassing and then he did one that was just better but still awful I could pitch I could throw a ball to the home plate I'm not saying I can get batters out but it would look like a major league pitch can you throw like a Oh, fuck yes. Yeah, you can throw like a man? I mean, I was, Aaron Rogers were here. We went out here. You and Aaron? Yeah, out the door after the show.

And I pick, there's this fruit tree out here. And they're not, I don't know even what that fruit is, but it's hard as a fucking rock. He couldn't eat it even if you wanted to. And there was a tree. It's like, like, 50 yards down. And like, I'm always, whenever we walk up there, I always say to my girl, I can hit, I can fucking hit that tree for me.

And it's a, it's a long way and a hard piece of fruit. and I'm dead center it every time. And you did it for Aaron Rogers? Yes. Earned his respect. Probably had it before. Are you a Giants fan because of Jersey? Totally.

Me too. Never stopped. Jackson Dart. No. Me neither. Well, let's wait. It's one game. Malik Neighbors has gone.

We're in trouble there. That's a terrible thing. As Dart gets going, Neighbors goes out. I mean, you know, I was a Mets owner for 10 years, right? Oh, yeah. I was a minority owner of the Mets. You know, my great uncle owned the Mets. What was that, Will Pond?

No, sold it to Wilpon and Doubleday. Double Day? Is your uncle? No. G.H. Walker owned him and sold the Mets to Doubleday. Oh, is that right? I mean, he was great-great-uncle, so I didn't know him. Do you have any money from the Bush family?

You know, no, but the... Can you give me some? You have a very... I'd like you to cut me a check. Just a little bridge. A little bridge, Bill. You're doing fine. I'm okay.

Yeah. No, I... You know, that's funny. People think the Bush... are rich, you know, it's the speech givers, you know, that were president that have a lot of those. Yeah, they're not really rich. They're not like the Kennedys. No. Right? No, they never were. I made more money than my father for years when I was on a role. Yeah, there's no industry you can think of that's associated with the, with the Bushes, right? I mean, it's like the Kennedy's Joe,

Joe was famously a bootlegger. And then they own Marshall Fields in Chicago. Yeah, there's no Bush family. There's no like railroad or it's not that kind of like. Like, you know, I mean, H.W. did a little oil, and George W. did a little oil, and then they, but not big time hunt family oil or boon. Do you have any sort of sort of simpatico relationship with any other, like, nepo political babies, like RFK? Chris Cuomo, I like a lot. I love Chris Cuomo. We talk, daily stoic. Really?

We're both stoics. I text with him all the time. He'll text me. Where have you been? Stoic. Well, we read the Daily Stoic. we read Stoic philosophy. Really?

Yeah. You wanted to start a group. I really like Cuomo because he's got a lot of fighting. Oh, I love him. Stoic philosophy, meaning, I mean, a stoic when people think of stoic. Marcus Aurelia, Seneca, Epictetus. Yeah, right. I'm sure everyone's real familiar with their shit.

Well, they're familiar with the tenant, the basic tenant. Yes. You cannot control what happens to you. You can only control how you react. to that and stoicism would say by not reacting at all i mean stoicism is like no when you say someone is stoic it's like you're getting nothing from them you know also is non-reactionary that's scientology just letting you know but i mean that's what you want to be a stoic you want yeah you want to be able to just like you are you are a natural stoic you said it earlier you don't

ride the highs too high and you don't ride the lows too low you kind of try and stay in the middle that's basically stoic. Really? Yeah. Oh. Don't react to things that are going to, you're not going to give a shit about in two days. That's so true. Yeah.

Right. Like this show. Yeah, like who cares? I got to go back to, I got to go back to my day. You got to take a leak. So do I. We're all guys. We have a tick a leak.

Good time. Me too. Thank you. All right. So our friendship will progress. It's only one step. The next step is you know where. Organically.

Organically, not, don't, yeah, don't force yourself from it. I'm not saying where I'm going Friday night. I'm just saying if I see you there, act like you don't know me. We'll assimilate. Okay.