Club Random with Bill Maher - Billy Joel | Club Random

Episode Date: July 21, 2025

In an exclusive and unfiltered conversation, Bill Maher sits down with legendary musician Billy Joel for a rare long-form interview about life, legacy, and the making of his new HBO documentary, Billy Joel: And So It Goes. From the early days playing Long Island bars to selling out Madison Square Garden for decades, Billy reflects on the stories behind the songs, the fame he never chased, and staying true to your art. Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: https://billmaher.substack.com Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom Support our Advertisers: Drink Zbiotics before drinking and wake up feeling great and ready to take on the next day and all that summer has to offer! Go to : ⁠https://zbiotics.com/RANDOM⁠ to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use code RANDOM at checkout. It’s summer, and it's time to heat up your strategy before your competitors beat you to it. Go to ⁠https://RadioActive Media.com⁠ or text RANDOM to 511-511. Message and Data Rates May Apply. Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at ⁠https://trueclassic.com/RANDOM⁠ today! #trueclassicpod Buy Club Random Merch: https://clubrandom.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it.  For advertising opportunities please email: [e-mail] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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We were very much aware of it. You don't think you've written a song as good as Wichita Lineman? No. Oh, stop it. Why do you think... I tried. Why? It's such bullshit.

It's such bullshit. I tried. There's a song called Stopping the Buzzer. Hey. Billy. Beautiful piano. Do you play? A little bit. I touch. Thank you for having me to your beautiful. Oh, this is not your home, right? This is in my house. It's your manager?

He's my lighting designer, my documentary producer. I know you've never had a problem with a manager. I've my lighting designer, my documentary producer. I know you've never had a problem with a manager. I saw the documentary, it's awesome. How fortuitous on my network, HBO. I learned so much about you. First of all, your health.

I mean, all your fans are wanting to know you had something. Did we fix it? It's not fixed, it's still being worked on. You look good, you sound good, you look and sound like you. I feel fine. Oh, okay. My balance sucks.

It's like being on a boat. Why? That's a good question. It used to be called water on the brain. Now it's called hydrocephalus, normal pressure hydrocephalus. What cause is that? Nobody knows. They don't know.

What is it? Idiomatic, idio, idio something. They don't really know what goes. I thought it must be from drinking. But you don't drink. Not anymore. I used to, like a fish. But you're good. You look good. I feel good. They keep referring to what I have as a brain disorder.

So it sounds a lot worse than what I'm feeling. Well, this really came about because, wrote you a little note and said that everybody, the music is so awesome that nobody can not recognize that, but I never thought you really got your due as a lyricist because pop music, the number of times you can find really great lyrics in pop music, not that often. Yours stand alone, I feel, as poetry even without the music, which I think is very rare in music.

So can you enjoy a pop song if the lyrics are shit? Probably because I'm tuned into the music before I even understand what the lyrics are shit? Probably, because I'm tuned into the music. Before I even understand what the lyrics are, that's the first thing I hear. Is the rhythm, the melody, the chords, the production, the sound of it. And then I start to dig into what the lyrics are. If they're really cornball and awful and tacky, probably not.

But I let a lot of that go. I let all of it go. If I made that the bar, I would throw out 80% of my music. Probably right. I mean, and that's okay. I used to have this little argument with Clive Davis, who I know is instrumental in your career, right? Yeah.

Okay. And, you know, I mean, it was of the opinion that lyrics were more important than the music or as important. And I would say, well, there are certain people for whom lyrics are very important. They're called women. I mean, we all like lyrics, but I honestly don't. It doesn't have to be the case. And lots of people who we really love

wrote some pretty horrible lyrics, including the Beatles, who we love more than anybody, right? But some of their lyrics are just gobbledygook. I don't know what I am the walrus means. You know, I don't know what yellow matter custard Walrus means. You know, I don't know what Yellow Matter Custard dripping from a dead dog's eye means. Right. A lot of it is how you listen to it.

It's not necessarily what the meaning of the lyrics are, but what the sound of the lyrics are. And Lennon got that when he wrote I Am The Walrus. It was all about what it sounded like. Remember when we were kids, I was singing The Beatles, you know, 4,000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire. Wow, he's talking about Blackburn, Lancashire. Where the hell is that?

It was so exotic sounding. Remember the song Norwegian Wood? She's a Norwegian. What does that mean? It all was kind of very... Well, but that song, I feel like, has... I can kind of understand basically what it's about. It's sort of like a veiled telling of a groupie encounter.

Yes. Okay, in an era where you couldn't be too explicit about it. And probably where he didn't want his wife to know. Right. I fell asleep in the bath and you know, I don't know what, I don't think Wood was, was he saying erection with Wood? Was that, is that?

Now we can say that, but I, back then. No, but was Wood a term back then for a hundred? I don't think so. I don't think so either. I mean, I just feel like some of these lyrics are daring you. They were so good at music. They were like, I fucking dare you to like this song.

Yeah, Lenin would do that. And McCartney would write, hello, goodbye. Or, you know, I mean, get back. Did you watch the, okay, we saw him writing it. Remember, Lenin was late one day and you saw him writing on a bass. And we saw how the lyrics evolved. I mean, there's only like four lyrics to the song.

You know, it's just a sound collage, and it's like, and it's okay. What's wrong with that? Nothing. I don't know, and I don't care. I don't care either, but I've been listening to that song for 50-something years, and it just sounds great, right?

Yes, it's about sound. That's what first hits us is the sound of the lyrics, not the meaning. Okay, but I came here to say one thing, which is that you never do that. You either write a love song, which is awesome, lyrically, poetic, stands alone without the music, even if I had never heard the music, or when you're not writing a love song,

it's about something. There's some nutrition to it. There's some meaning to it. I hope so. There is. And you say it eloquently. You don't just put it down. It's just not like, oh, well, good enough.

So, you know, I know in the documentary you said, I, um, something like, I know in the documentary you said I, something like, I write the way I speak. You don't really believe that. I think so. I use plain language. I don't get flowery. Yes you do. You think so?

I try not to. Okay. When I wore a younger man's clothes, it's a poet. You could have said, when I was younger. But it wouldn't have rhymed. But, and also, when I wore a younger man's clothes, that's between a poet and a schmuck, wouldn't say it that way. Well, as the smile ran away from his face.

That's a poet. You know, I mean, it's all through. I mean, can you play a little of Summer Highland Falls? Do you remember the lyrics to that? Yeah. I hope so. ["Summer Highland Falls"] You want me to sing? What? Should I, you want me to sing? What?

Should I? You want me to sing? No, no. They say that these are not the best of times. These are the only times we know. They're the only times I've ever known. Right. It was the best of worlds, it was the worst of worlds.

No. The Tale of Two Cities. Oh, is that where you got that from? Yeah, I stole it. Okay. A little bit. Okay, so you're stealing from Dickens, the best. I'm trying to.

Yeah. Yes. But then in cathedrals of our, what's the next line? I believe there is a time for meditation in cathedrals of our own. Okay, you've got to admit that's a little more sophisticated than Wully Bullock. It's a little artsy fartsy, yes. Okay. Well, for us English and history majors, we appreciated it in a very big way.

Well, do you know that there's a song I wrote called You're My Home? It was on the Piano Man album. I love it. It's on my top 50 of yours. Well, I got beat up for a lyric in that song. The lyric was, let's see, you're my home. You're my castle, you're my cabin, and my instant pleasure dome,

and it was a lot of instant pleasure dome. What a reach. And I say, excuse me, that's from Xanadu by William Golden. You know, I stole it from a poet. Kubla Khan, yes, the story of Xanadu. Kubla Khan, that's right. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, again, not everyone is gonna appreciate all this, but I'm telling you, a lot of people do, and I think you are, I mean, I've heard you always say that you write the music first. Yes. Okay, so, and you still write music.

Yes. Okay, so it's really the fact that it's the lyrics. You set such a high standard that I think that's probably what is holding you back and why you haven't released music in so long is because how do I... It seems like that's the part. You said at one point in the documentary even, you said you got tired of the tyranny of the rhyme. Yes. Yes.

Okay. And you know what? I'll tell you a little story. I tried to write a song once. It's hard. It was during the pandemic and like we were all home and nothing to do. Right? It's like bored.

I'm like, what am I going to do? It's like, you know what? I always thought I could write a song. Maybe not the music, but I'm a writer. Excuse me. I've written six books. The editorial every week at the end of the show. I pretty much write that, I mean, with help,

but that's my baby and like, you know, I was 13 stand-up special. I can write a song, no, no I can't. I tried it sober, I tried it stoned. I tried it in a car, I tried it in a bar. I tried it on Mars, I tried it from afar. I tried it in a car, I tried it in a bar. I tried it on Mars, I tried it from afar. I couldn't do it. And you know, it's just a special, different kind of skill

than the one I have. And I even had a good premise, I had a title. It was called The World Makes Us Lie. Okay, that's a good premise. It is. Because it was about someone in a relationship with someone who the world deemed age inappropriate. I don't know where I got the idea.

But, and it could be more universal than that. The world does make us lie about things. And it's sometimes appropriate, if you believe what they were saying in the tabloids, you deserve to be lied to, right? Well, just to get along, you've got to lie. Right, so, if to get along, you've got to lie. Right. So, do you want to,

if you're bored one day and you want to noodle with that one. Please don't. Because I couldn't, but I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. It's hard. It is hard. It really is hard. It is.

So, when you were listening to music, what I was reading in the Times two days ago, they said the kids are back into buying DVDs because they got the memo that on digital, you don't ever really own anything that you think you own, but you really don't. Right. So, like DVDs, yeah, that is not my format,

but do you stream, do you have an A track, do you have a jukebox? Do you have a boombox? I don't know how to even get to it anymore. I can't even turn my TV on without going through four or five different permutations. Oh, I know. But when you listen to music,

what are you listening on? What's format? Well, first I gotta find the right medium to hear it. I don't always, you know, I hardly play vinyl anymore. Although I have a turntable, a really nice turntable, I got a nice stereo, Macintosh, you know, analog equipment, and I don't know how to use it. So I try to find a radio station. I like to listen to classical music. That's where... Exclusively?

Pretty much. You never want to hear Crimson and Clover? No, I do. My kids make me listen to pop music. They put on the pop station. Okay. Which on my radio now? Yeah, in the car. So it's easier for me to find a radio station in the car than it is at home. But I'm, what I do to listen to classical music when I want to hear it. I put on the TV and I try to find this classical symphony station on TV so I can hear music. It's so ass backwards.

That's how I hear music nowadays. I put the TV on. Weird. I mean, for me, the iPod, because I'm an anal retentive person, was like the perfect medium. And I still use it. It's not easy. You have to buy them on eBay.

They don't make them anymore. Apple definitely doesn't want you to use them. It sounds like ancient technology. It is, but it's superior technology. I'll tell you why. First of all, on the iPod, first of all, it's all in your computer. And then you sync the iPod.

Do you remember that, when you sync it to you? So your playlists, all your music is there. So for someone who just wants exactly what I want, streaming is all about, you like this, so you'll probably like this. And my answer is no, I won't. But more than that, it just clarifies to me how great an artist is or not. How many songs do I have over there? Do I have eight or a hundred? That, to me, is very valuable. It's one reason why I never understood why, like,

you perform with Elton John. Why would two guys who have each have so many songs that you could fill more than a concert, why would you be, why would you do it, why would you join forces? You don't need to join forces. Like, I understand bands do that. Like, they're, you know, if you want to have soul asylum,

go out with six pence, none the richer, makes total sense. No offense to the bands. It's no offense to only have four or five hits. But why you and Elton John? Well, that goes back a long ways. I actually met Elton in Amsterdam back in the early 70s, the Sinesta Hotel in Amsterdam. So Elton was at the hotel.

Steve Cohen, who I was just talking about earlier, knew his manager, John Reed, and got us together. But we met and we were saying, you know, I hope you don't believe what they write about me and you and got us together. But we met and we were saying, you know, you know, I hope you don't believe what they write about me and you with this rivalry because I don't have any rivalry towards you. I admire your work. And we said, someday maybe we should get together

and play together and show people how we are different. Because there was a lot of comparisons going on. Neither of us were comfortable with that. So we talked about how do you overcome something like that and There was an early idea. Let's play together and let's see let people Let the chips fall where they may let people decide for themselves You really gave a shit that much what they that they said that I mean to the point where you would didn't you go out I think the doc said you were 16 years on the road with him.

Yes, on and off 16 years together. Again, it's just crazy to me that somebody who could do more hits than we have time for of his own would then like do a show with another guy. It seems like it's an embarrassment of riches. It was, but the fun part about it was I got to play his shit and he got to play my shit. What did you play of his? Oh, I played Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, which I loved. Loved that. I played your song.

A lot of his big hits I got to play. And I didn't have to play the Billy Joel stuff, which was kind of a nice relief. I mean, double albums, remember? Very few good all the way through. I mean, it's hard enough to make a single album good all the way through. You always did. Right.

And we appreciate that. Name like your top five, like maybe the only five good double album. A Goodbye Yellow Brick Road is definitely one of them. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. That was a good one. That's an amazing double album. Yes.

That was a good album. The white album. I'm not a big fan of the white album. Like I say, not the white album. But some people love it. I hear it as a collection of half-assed songs that didn't finish writing because they were either too stoned or they didn't care anymore.

Really? Like what? A lot of stuff on that album. Well, certainly Revolution No. 9, no one's going to defend that. OK, but you know, it's a double album. I think they had fragments, and they put them on the album. I think John was kind of disassociated somewhat at that point.

I think Paul was carrying, carried the weight at that point. Oh, since before that. Yeah, yeah. You know, my theory with the Beatles has always been that what really broke them up was what they cared about more than anything else was A-sides of singles, of singles themselves. I mean, they were, after all, the only band ever who did not put the singles on the album until the very end.

That's how much they valued the single. As it's always- That was state of the art. There were no such thing as album artists. It was all about hit singles. Yeah. And usually you would buy an album, or often, and for the hit single, which was on the album, and then the rest of the album didn't live up to the single.

They didn't even put the single on the album. And I think at a certain point, Lenin was not getting the A-side. Imagine writing a song as great as Strawberry Fields. It's not the hit. It's not the A-side. Penny Lane was the A-side. Right. It also was as, like it charted on its own,

but of course it's a little moodier and not quite as mass appeal as Penny Lane, right? Right. So it wasn't as big. And then you write Revolution, and you lose out to Hey Jude. You know, this was like a pattern. All right, put a notch on the science side. This is a good one. No, not artificial intelligence, not flying cars. I'm talking about Z-biotics, pre-alcohol probiotic drink, the world's first genetically engineered probiotic, for something

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Go to RadioActiveMedia.com or text RANDOM to 511-511. Text RANDOM to 511-511 today. Message and data rates may apply. Well, I think I have a theory that we don't know about, which is I think they almost broke up a couple of times. I think just like a marriage. What band doesn't? Right. Right, but it was never talked about. It had to look smoothed over for the 10 years

that they were famous. I think they almost broke up a few times and they had their ups and downs. And sometimes they were more prolific and sometimes they weren't. And I hear that in some of those things. Did your band ever want to be named? Was there ever a talk like,

why isn't it Billy Joel and the Tune Masters? Yeah, we talked about it. Billy Joel and Fire Dog. Exactly, we tried to come up with names and they always had these hackneyed sounding names. Really? Like what? A cello. Billy B.J. and the Affordables was like a joke.

And we did it on a video with Rodney Dangerfield. What video is that? Tell her about it, which is a song I don't like. Really? Yeah, I was trying to do a Motown song. This is in, I was trying to be, what's the name? Diana Ross and the Supremes. I opened for Frankie Valli as a comic in 1984,

right after the 50s tribute album came out, which is an opus. It's an opus. It's not just a record. And if he, I'm sure he somehow got the message to you, but if he didn't, I remember him saying how flattered and thrilled he was by what you did with that album. Oh, with Uptown Girl?

Yes. They knew. I mean, you weren't hiding it. You were just... No, it was an homage. An homage. But like, you know, a lot of your stuff is an homage to classical music. I feel like you were the one guy who like, channeled classical music into pop music in such a way as an idiot like me, who has no interest in classical music, loves me. I take that as a compliment. It's you should. I was that as a compliment. You should. I was trying, maybe unconsciously trying to do that.

Because I hear it when I listen back to the stuff. So you don't think that White Album, okay, like... Nah, White Album. What about Tommy? Nah. Double album. That was a lot, to me it was a lot of filler on Tommy. It was a lot of instrumental guitar playing

that I didn't care about. A double album, Cream Wheels of Fire. Not good. I loved that. Really? You thought that was a great double album? I loved it. I loved everything on that album.

White Room is on that. Yes. Crossroads. Toad. Well, I didn't know. Crossroads. Toad. Yeah. I'm, well, I remember the titles. I obviously don't remember the music because I listened to them and then forgot them. Okay. So, but you know, you can't, you cannot, and people try to do it all the time, like tell

a person, you should like this. They do it, hey, listen, you should, no I shouldn't. There's no shouldn't. It It hits me or it doesn't. I hate it. I understand. How about Axis bold as love, Jimi Hendrix? Hendrix never tickled my ear the way you do. I know he's awesome and great and the fire and the played Sergeant Pepper the day it came out and great stuff and 27 Club.

It looks like a cool dude who was always having threesomes with a joint in his mouth, but I just never got into the music. See, I loved almost everything he ever did. It was as if he squeezed his entire life into three years. He only had a three-year career and he he was dead, Hendricks, yeah. Yeah, yeah, 27. He got to 27. He was just getting started.

Right. But you look at this, the amount of work he was able to do, it was so much crammed into a short amount of time that I loved everything he did. But I mean, I saw in the doc you love Zeppelin as I do. I love Zeppelin. But that to me, you sound nothing like Zeppelin in most of your Billy Joel music.

I'm not Zeppelin. Maybe Atelier, yeah. I tried to. It was a complete disaster. No, no, no. You found, I think you found your niche. I think that's been decided. Why did you ever put out a double album? found, I think you found your niche. I think that's been decided. Why did you ever put out a double album?

I, well I did, I think a double Greatest Hits, there was a Greatest Hits volume one and volume two. But that's not like putting out a, That's not a real album, no, it's a collection. No, but you were wise to, because you're right, it's very hard, I mean George Martin, he said exactly what you said. He's in the Beatles documentary, and he says,

I thought we should have just made one really good single album. Out of the White House. Yeah, but you know what? I gotta tell you, you people in the business, you just have a different view. I'm just a young man in the 22nd row. I see you as something more than sexual,

more than just our Marilyn Monroe. And to us, like a lot of the things you guys do and talk about and think are important, like George Martin I saw in the documentary, wanted to produce you, which is a great compliment and makes perfect sense of all the people who he thinks he could follow the Beatles with.

Okay, but then he wanted to fire your band. And I don't know what George Martin was hearing from your band, but I promise you, the regular guy did not notice that, did not think that band, oh boy, Billy Joel's records, if only he'd fire that band and hire a good one. It's ridiculous. That was one of the most traumatic things I went through, was deciding not to work with George Martin, who was one of my heroes.

I thought he was an integral part of the Beatles, and I love the Beatles more than anybody. Completely. He was the fifth Beatle. Right. Wait, you're not gonna have George Martin produce you? more than anybody. Completely. And he was the fifth Beatle. Right. And wait, you're not going to have George Martin produce you? Your big problem is production.

You need a good producer. I know. But he wants to not use my band, and that's part of my sound, I thought. But also, when you talk about production, there's so much production, like on Billy the Kid. Yeah. Dun, dun, dun. I mean, so many of your songs, I'm telling you, it's an opus, it's not just a record.

That's production from early on. You know, I mean, one of the things that blew my mind in this documentary was how big you were, how not big you were at a time when I thought you were huge, like when I was in college, that we're talking about turnstiles. It was, you know, had enormous songs on it. Like, people, I'm sure, think today. You were East Coast, right?

Yes, but like, New York State of Mind, Say Goodbye to Hollywood, what else? James, nobody talks about that, that awesome angry young man. I was a regional artist for a long time. Yeah, I mean that really blew my mind that you were staying in Holiday Inns and scrounging for money at a time when I thought, we all did in college, because Piano Man,

that album had come out, Turnstile, Streetlight Serenade, I was still in college when The Big One came out. It was a low slog. And the critics were not kind. I mean, do you think that, did that affect you? Like you said, the thing with Elton John moved you to do something. Because they were mean and wrong. I thought they were wrong.

And my... They were wrong. wrong. I thought they were wrong. And my... They were wrong. Okay. Definitely. Time has proved it and it was easy to know at the time. It's just, sometimes people are just wrong. But, you know, again, the stupidest,

I think, thing in the world is a music review. Because you can't put in words whether I like this song or not. It's, what'd it be not. I have to hear it. Well, talking about music, who said that? It's like dancing about architecture. You say, what's the point? It's no point.

No point. You can't get the sound from a story in a magazine, which I'm quoting myself. It's like writing a review of mustard. I either like it or I don't. It's like writing a review of mustard. I either like it or I don't. Right. It's all subjective. And there's such, you know, just looking for ways to be stupid and snobby.

Another thing I learned in documentary that I had no knowledge of before was that you were at one point appreciated ironically. At times, you know what? I never felt, I was never aware of this. I never felt the need to distance myself from my appreciation of Billy Joel. Were you aware of that?

I know that there was some speculation about what the songs were really about. When I was just being literal, like Piano Man was about a gay bar. Oh, oh, oh. You know what I mean? It was like, I didn't know that until recently. No. But I mean, they just, they just,

I feel sometimes they, something is so popular that then they decide it's corny. You know, like I saw it happen a stairway to heaven. You know, one of the greatest songs ever. And the song didn't change. But it just got played so much. Do you, what is the, is there a bustle in your hedgerow? Do you know what that means?

That's right. Because I don't get that one. Exactly. And that's what I appreciate about you. You never do that to me. You never make me go, what the fuck? Could you replace the placeholder lyric with a real one? Would you put in the time to do that?

Do you buy Davey in the Navy? Yes, totally. Okay, a lot of people don't. That was a stretch. Wow, what a cornball lyric that is. The guy's name was Davey, and he was in the Navy. Even if it wasn't, it rhymes with Navy. Exactly. Thank you. And it makes sense. Again, it's couched in this song.

It has so much poetry in it, and also moves people in a very big way. I mean, but again, that song is kind of like the Stairway to Heaven song. It's just so fucking good and played so much that at some point, some group of people have to come along and go, oh boy, yeah, Stairway to Heaven.

You know, I remember when Neil Diamond suddenly sucked, and I was like, you know, I didn't get the memo. I like Neil Diamond, and always will. Barry Manilow same thing like him don't need to be ironically in love. You're entitled to like what you want. Especially when it's good. Well I have to disagree with you, Piano Man. I don't think it's that good a song even though it's been... I know, okay I don't care. Okay, no I know it's fine. Literally as a fan I can say you know I don't care. Okay, no, I know, it's fine. Literally, as a fan, I can say, you know, I don't care if you don't like it,

and I appreciate you bearing with us, who love it, to play it all the time. When I'm sure you're, look, I got bored telling the same jokes. When I'm, when I, I bet you did. For 43 years, I was in the road as a standup. I just stopped doing it.

Just, that's part of it. Yeah, I've told this joke a hundred times. And I know when I go, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, they go mad with laughter. Watch this. And if I go ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, it won't get any laughter. So I like hit the pedal and make the hamster dance.

And I feel like a hack sometimes. It's showbiz. But OK, I got a great question for you. So when you were the piano man, like, making them forget about their troubles for a while, you must have been playing certain songs. I was just kind of this sound coming out of the corner of the room, for the most part, until I started to sing something on the mic. And it looked like sometimes that annoyed people.

They didn't want to hear a singer. They just wanted some background music. I got something for you. When I was 12, I sent away, I bet you we listened to the same W.A.B.C. Cousin Brucie radio when we were kids because that was Long Island in New Jersey. W.M.C.A. Good Guys. When I, Good Guys and then Cousin Brucie on ABC.

I sent away for this when I was 12, the top 100 hits of 1968. You're bowled over by it. Am I supposed to know? No, I'm just saying, I still have it. Why? Aren't you glad I... Now I can tell you what the top 100 hits of 1968 are. Exactly. Let me in.

Right, see? Now you're glad I saved it. Number one, Hey Jude. Biggie. Two, Young Girl by Gary Puckett. Very inappropriate today. Like you couldn't... Absolutely, yeah. Just the fact that she's in his mind.

And his love for her is way out of line. Yeah. Not good. Number three, I hope you love this song as much as I do. People gotta be free. The Rascals. I love The Rascals. That song also was a giant, right?

You remember how big a hit that was? I loved the young, they were my favorite band at that time was the Young Rascals. Four, Mrs. Robinson. Great song. Yeah. Great song. No drummer. There's no drumming on that song?

No drummer. What's driving the rhythm on that? The guitar. Well, that's it. Guitar is a percussive instrument. Was that a, that was a Roy Halley engineered. I think Walpole Simon stuff is, right? I remember that name.

Five, Love is Blue, Paul Moriarty. Didn't like it then, hasn't improved with age. No, not really. I love it that you're like a human jukebox. I could say any song and you could just start playing it. I don't know why I want to. I'm just driven to do that. No, but the fact that you can do that,

it can so quickly translate from your ears to your fingers. That's my life. No, it's amazing. All right, I'm going to give you one more. Oh, MacArthur Park. Jimmy Webb. He's a friend of mine. Isn't that a great song?

It's a great song. The lyrics get poked fun at a lot. Oh. Someone left the cake out in the moon. Well, okay. I've been listening to it forever. You're right. And never really...

Comics made jokes about that, you know. It's just a cake, pal, you know. Carol E. for you to say. It's just... Yeah, because if people don't know, the lyric is, somebody left the cake out in the rain. I don't think I can take it.

It took so long to bake it. I'll never have this recipe again. I was playing this for a much younger person. She immediately understood. She said, of course I get that. It's the metaphor is the cake is a relationship and you fucked it up. You left it out in the rain.

Somebody left it out in the rain. That's suspicious. Somebody, I don't know who fucked this relationship up, but somebody left left it out in the rain. Somebody left it out in the rain. That's suspicious. Somebody, I don't know who fucked this relationship up. But somebody left the cake out in the rain, I'm not pointing any fingers, and I'll never have this recipe again. I'll never find a le... It's songwriter-y, yeah.

That's what it is. But what's wrong with it is in the middle section, which is, it's almost like, I wouldn't even say it's a B section, because it's almost like a whole different song, you know, the front. It went away. It went away to a whole other thing, yeah.

And then it came back with an instrumental like bumping and then back to the, yes. But the middle was so. It was through a lot of moods. Okay, it contradicts what he's saying about the cake. He's saying there will be another one. I'll have another dream and someone will bring it. Well, you just said the cake.

I'll never have that recipe again. And you, again, you never do that. You never make me go, that doesn't make sense. Yeah, but if I could write a song as good as Wichita Aleman that Jimmy Webb also wrote, I'd be a very happy man. That's in here somewhere, Wichita Lineman. Wichita Lineman, 68?

Yes, I was looking at it here somewhere recently. I saw it, I can't, I'm not going to look at it all. What was your song? Yeah, I mean, you don't think you've written a song as good as Wichita Lineman? No. Oh stop it. I tried. It's a song called Stop in Nevada.

That's such bullshit. I was trying to write one. What? Stop in Nevada. I was trying to write Wichita Lineman. Well, again. I was thinking Midwestern guy climbing a telephone pole with the barren fields of Kansas and you know how do you evoke that?

How do I write that? How do I like that? What do you want to? You know, your songs are about something. You know, you could have written, when you start a song with somebody's name, like Anthony works in the shop. You got the guy. Saving his money for someday.

See that's poetic. Not for, it's someday, using someday to evoke the thought of it someday as a specific holiday. Saving his money for someday, right? Yeah. So, okay. But that song gets at something. It's very McCartney in the sense of he did it often. He would just take a name and imagine a life.

Working class stuff. Eleanor Rigby, you know, Lady Madonna, just JoJo. Who are these people? We don't know. You know the story of that song moving out? Why it is what it is now? It started out as something else. I had a different melody, a completely different... First I wrote, I write the music first. Well, it started out as something else.

I had a different melody, a completely different... First I wrote, I write the music first. What I was writing was somebody else's song. It was a Neil Sadatka song. So I show it to the band, the band goes, that sucks. That's why. Because it's a Neil Sadatka song. Oh, you mean I have to write a whole other...

But that still sounds like the song to me. It's this rhythm is the same, the pattern is the same. I mean, there's only so many notes. Some songs are going to... Yeah, but you want them to be... Yeah, and they are. I never heard that from that song. I had to rework the whole thing. And then it became... And then it works in the grosser snow Because I didn't want to have to write a whole other bunch of lyrics.

Yeah. I wrote all the lyrics. That was such a pain in the ass. I gotta change it now? No, keep the lyrics and rewrite the music. So it was one of those. Listen, I like to look good, but I wouldn't say I'm a fashion guy exactly.

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It won't take long to tell you neutrals ingredients and PC optimum points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. It won't take long to tell you Nutril's ingredients. Vodka, soda, natural flavors. So, what should we talk about? No sugar added? Neutral. Refreshingly simple. But it's about something, you know. I mean, it's not just McCart- I mean, Eleanor Rigby, that's about something. Loneliness. And it's- that's a haunting, that's a great lyric. Yes.

But Desmond, you know, these are just like, I can imagine I'm this other person, whereas your thing is, you know, I mean, I would say that song fits into your, like, subgenre of your sly commentary on the disintegrating American dream, Allentown, you know, Moving Out is one of those songs.

You have a number of them, I think. Well, you're picking up on something that I... That's what I like about reading your book. I'm tipping over Sacred Cows all my life. That's what I like to do. I like to do that. Catholic Girl song. It had to be done. But it did have to be done.

But I was surprised to realize watching the doc that it was that controversial in the 70s. I mean, I guess it... Look, I've had many letters from William Donahue, the head of the Catholic League. He literally has challenged me to a fight. Really, like 260-something year old men in the parking lot with our short sleeves rolled up, really.

But that's how the Catholic Church feels about me. So, they were really upset. And it's such a clever, energetic, oh, it's just great. And it's funny. And it's one of yours that's in triplets, right? Which is, to me, a comedy rhythm. Like Captain Jack is in triplets. And it's like, see, comedy is always three.

It's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then the thing like that. Right. Doesn't fit. That takes you. And every triplet in Captain Jack, it's almost like a, you know, you're in the, you're on the, you're street clothes,

from your head down to your toes, but so your finger's gonna pick your nose. You know, like every, and your father's in the swimming pool. Like every trip, it's almost, you know what I'm saying? When's the shoe gonna drop, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's almost, you know what I'm saying? When's the shoe gonna drop, yeah. Yeah. Well, that's interesting. You know, and the ironic thing about Only the Good Die Young

is that in all honesty, the Catholic girls were the easiest ones. They were the, you know, the least pure of all the young girls were the Catholic girls. Everybody knew that. They were the easy girls. Really? Yeah. I did not avail myself, and I was raised Catholic,

to either this knowledge or these women. That was the way it was on Long Island? I think so. And they were attracted to you because you were not, because you were a forbidden fruit? Yeah, I think so. As a Jew? I didn't even have Jewish upbringing.

I just, my family was Jews. Yeah, same thing, but my mother is Jewish heritage, but I was never in a temple and neither was she. But that would make you a Jew. Yeah, that's what they say, but you know what? I don't like when people say something that is an opinion and a religion is just an opinion. Don't tell me what it is.

Like, that's just, that, first of all, that comes from Roman law. We're not going by Roman law anyway. Yes, that's just, that first of all, that comes from Roman law. We're not going by Roman law anyway. Yes, in Phyllis- In some ways we are. Yes, we are going backwards in some ways. You can get settled, settled- But that's another thing I learned in the doc about you.

You're German. This explains so much. Because like, who are the great composers all Germans I guess the Russians but like who dominated first Bach six 17th century then Mozart in the 18th century was the man then it was Beethoven Schubert it's a German thing Wagner it makes yes it makes sense that you... Something in the Teutonic blood. But I'm not Teutonic.

Well, that means German, doesn't it? Yes, it does, geographically. But my family were Jews. Yeah, but you were still German Jews. And they were more German than they were Jews. In their minds. I mean, the seat of anti-Semitism before Hitler was not Germany, it was France. The Dreyfus Affair.

Yeah. You know. And Spain. Spain, everywhere. It's amazing the way the one thing that two political sides can agree on is hating each other. Everybody hates Jews. It's like, what could bring us together?

Jews. Well, I just, they quoted me, I don't remember what it was about. There's an Israeli magazine called The Forward. You ever read The Forward? And they quoted me as saying, no matter what, I'm always a Jew, because I wore the Jewish star, the yellow star. And my point was, it's not just I'm saying this.

People who think you're Jewish say he's a Jew. No matter what you do, you're always gonna be a Jew. You can't not be a Jew if you were Jewish. I think that's what you're saying. Yeah, see, again, back to the lyrics. Like, all those dudes, they never had to write lyrics. Right? Bach never wrote a lyric. No. All those dudes, they never had to write lyrics, right? Bach never wrote a lyric?

No. So he didn't have that burden. And well, Mozart wrote operas, right? Did he write lyrics? Mozart wrote operas. He had De Ponte, who was his lyricist. So he didn't write lyrics? He didn't write libretto.

He wrote music. Beethoven stole from the famous Goethe, who wrote the song, You Are Go To Joy. Freider Schoener got a funkin' rocker, I'll deletium. He borrowed from the famous poet Goethe. So did you ever think about, like, Black Rock had Hal David, and your boy Elton had Bernie. Bernie Talpin. Did you ever think, oh, why don't I get me a...

I thought about it. You made the right decision, because you would have been disappointed. You would have. Maybe. I mean, look, I love Elton John, but some of those lyrics, Rocketman, if somebody handed you Rocket Man, come on man, you would not do it.

That shows me what a great music writer Elton was. And stupid lyrics. I mean, come on, he's an astronaut but his wife is packing his bags and all this science I don't understand. But the music makes you get it. But you know what? I'll tell you something about astronauts. They do know the science.

They really do. They just don't send people up there like it's not the Katy Perry girls' group. It's NASA. Anyway, but that is funny. What are the magic of music though, I think? Because there is a code within the music itself that has nothing to do with the words that takes you to this place, if it's done right.

Of course. Exactly. Why do you think we like you? That's why we like you. You perform that, and it's... There is something about music that just is, you know, premise inter paris among the arts, because it just gets to people like on a very deep level.

And it can be intellectual too, but it just goes right to the solar plexus or whatever. Yeah, and I think it's a mistake to try to over intellectualize it. or whatever. Yeah, and I think it's a mistake to try to over-intellectualize it. Music, to me, what I love about classical music is its purity. There's no lyrics in a lot of symphonic music and a lot of classical music. It's just music.

And it can take me away somewhere else completely. I get stoned from it. I literally get carried away listening to beautiful music. I don't know why that is. No, so do I. There are some songs that, very few, but I could pick a one for sure that make me cry. Yeah, Samuel Barber's Adagio.

I'm not a crier. You know the Adagio? No. It goes, I'm not a crier. You know the adagio? No. No, no, no. No, no, no. That's your function. But if you heard it...

Take that and make it pop music for me. Okay. Well, how about... Yeah. Yeah. It's almost like a medieval thing. The music does that. It also makes me think of the Civil War. Good.

That's good, Stephen Foster. Yeah, you know what I mean? You could play that behind Ken Burns showing... Yes. ...pick. He was an influence on me, Stephen Foster. And all those Civil War era songs, they're stirring. They are. Well, again, this documentary made me realize that so many songs of yours that I had been

listening to for so long and appreciated the lyrics on one level because they are universal. And then this put color to this black and white drawing of your life that I had had. Really? Yes, because so many of your songs are very literal as to what was going on in your life. Whoever put the documentary together

had a very easy job matching the song to what was being said because, you know, say goodbye to Hollywood. That's when Billy was leaving Hollywood. You know, it's like, who can't put that, you know. They did a good job with that. New York State of Mind. I'm back. I'm loving New York now. There's a story. Piano Man. I'm working in a piano bar. You know, it's pretty straightforward.

Well, I got advice when I was starting out, was write what you know. And that's how I wrote. When I wrote it. Yeah, I mean... I'm very literal. I get angry with myself. No, and I was so interested in the documentary to learn about the whole relationship with you

and your first wife and how many of the songs were about her. That's something I really didn't understand and the complex situation of having your wife then be your manager, like, now I understand. She's always a woman. Because in the song, and I've been listening to all these years and loving all these years,

she steals like a thief. What's up with this chick? And she's casually cruel, and she'll make you bleed and then laugh about it. I'm like, it's like a thief. What's up with this chick? And she's casually cruel and she'll, you know, make you bleed and then laugh about it. I'm like, it's like a fun girl. But he loves her. And then I realized it's, that's her, how she is with, in business, on your behalf. She's always a woman. To you.

To me. Hello. Yeah. Well, we don't know this. What am I, Kreskin? I don't know. No, I know. But people used to tear that apart. You go, well, how can he like this person because they're so horrible? Listen, no.

Well... It's duality. But even if you don't know the backstory, it does make sense in a way because I've had that kind of relationship. Thank you. Where, um, just put it this way, I thought this woman was horrible, and yet if you asked me to explain to somebody why, I couldn't do it.

So I would, you know, I think I would just, the essence of the song, so I just blame myself. If you don't get it, I'm kind of talking to myself. You don't get it, look in the mirror. There's a lot of that. You know that you wrote three She songs, of course. You must know this. Three that start with She. She's Got A Way. She's Got A Way.

She's Always A Woman. She's Right On Time. Yeah. Do you like She's Right On Time? Love it. I think that's one of my favorite songs I wrote. Love it. That and Laura are very, Laura's to me the most Beatles-esque.

Absolutely. Isn't that a Beatles... And I say that as the ultimate compliment. I was channeling John Lennon. But like, yeah, that part, what am I supposed to do? That sound is so Lenin-y. And then, but although the... Yes, that was... It's awesome.

It was Beatles-esque. I couldn't deny it. There could be no greater complimentary adjective than Beatles-esque. I appreciate that. That's what I was going for. And you got it. And I had to say fucking. I loved it.

Feeling like it's time to drop the F-bomb. Fucking fool. That wasn't done a lot in those days. No, it's the only time I think I've ever done anything like that. Right. Well, no. I got a thumb and it's a son of a bitch. Oh, well, that's light. What? That's obscenity light. Son of a bitch.

Okay, but even back then, that was a cult. That's true. That's on Piano Man. Yeah. Right? That's early. We're talking mid-70s. People didn't say son of a bitch on records. No.

Bitch. Bitch is back. That was shocking. Billy, why did you feel this need to work blue? It worked. No, but well, yeah, three She Songs. Yeah, I mean, we have such a different view of, like, relationships, I think, and yet I'm so on the same page with you

when you sing about how, don't anybody tell me what to do. I mean, this is a theme that comes up a lot in your songs. And again, makes you very lovable to a lot of people. You know, just do what you want, this is my life. Who can't relate to that? Some people probably, they don't have that gene, like we do, like, I don't want, even like, you know, the one where you're driving the motorcycle in the rain.

Like, I know it's stupid, you are probably right, but I still want to do it. Don't tell me what to do. That's what used to get my back up about in the early days when I would read these negative reviews. Basically, they were saying, no, he shouldn't be doing that. He should be doing this. This is the right way that he should be doing it. And I was like, no, that's not the way I want to do it. That's not the story I want to tell. I don't want to tell you a story.

I want to tell my story. But it's curious to me that someone who has that gene gets married a lot. See, like, I never got married. So, for me, it makes sense married. So for me it makes sense. Don't tell me what to do. I find it irreconcilable. I understand. I do too.

But I know you say to Dr. Brady, you don't want to die alone. But don't you always die alone? Isn't that the one thing we always just... Can't take him with you. You can't. I mean, in India, sometimes the widow throws herself on the funeral pyre. Right. I mean, I don't think a lot in...

I think I just have this... uncontrollable adoration of women. All your exes like you. I mean, the fact that your first wife is a big part of the documentary says a lot. You know? We're still friends. Being friends with exes, I think, says a lot about a man. And they all seem to like you, and there's no animosity,

and they have good things to say. I appreciate that, too. Yeah, well, I'm sure you do. You should. It's a, you know. And, you know, I know the first one ended with that motorcycle crash. Well, it had been coming on for a while even before that. Of course.

But sometimes people do something subconsciously. Maybe so. I mean, I have a doctor friend, he's not an MD but a holistic doctor, he's a, you know, not a MD, but a holistic doctor, also a shrink. And he said, he once said to me, I've seen people give themselves cancer to get out of a relationship.

I wonder sometimes if I have a self-destructive tendency because, you know the song The Entertainer? Of course. All right, well that came out after Piano Man was kind of a semi-hit. Piano Man was like a well-known song. Yes. And The Entertainer was kind of a commentary

on how they chopped it up and they edited it, the music business, and you gotta be. In other can of beans. In other can of beans. So here I was, things are going well, and it was almost as if I was saying, let me see if I can screw this up somehow. And it wasn't a good idea to release that song based on the music business response

to it, because they didn't like that. That was not a popular song with them. So, oh, he had a hit and now he's bitching about it? That's how it was received. So I always wondered about something like that. Do I have that self-destructive tendency? Well, you did try to, you almost died three times. There was the motorcycle crash, then there was like, well, you know what, those early

ones, I had the same, you know, I'm going to kill myself when I was 19 years old. If I could have gotten laid once at Cornell. You probably would have been better off. Are you kidding? My depression would have lifted it. I would not be suicidal. But you know, there's that era of your life where you do kind of have this,

you have to get over the idea of feeling sorry for yourself. Yes. And that's what, you know, the one where you- That's a big one. You drank Lemon Pledge. I saw that in the documentary. That's what they said. Yeah, it was Lemon Pledge.

That's right. You remember that? It's hard to forget that. Lemon pledge? I mean, in your defense, lemon is a flavor. It would look tastier than bleach. There were two things in the closet. I said, I'll take the lemon pledge

because it's lemon flavored. It'll be tastier. Wow. All I did was fart furniture polish. I polished my mom's wooden chairs. I remember that. I feel like our generation is so much more stoic. I mean, when you were playing Summer Highland Falls,

the end of the chorus is always, it's either sadness or euphoria. Which, I don't know if I completely relate to that. I mean, I certainly remember sadness. Euphoria? They used to call it manic depression. And that's how I was feeling at the time. That's that age, like you said, 19 to early 20s.

You got your head so far up your ass, you can't see straight. And you have to get out of yourself. You have to start empathizing with the rest of the world. But you also had family stuff. I mean, that's really a big part of the first one, your father. Or lack of. I didn't know all that. But you kind of like, he left and then even when you found him, it was not, what is the lesson there, that like even when you're related to somebody, they don't have to be kind,

they don't have to be good to you, they don't have to care. What is it, don't meet your heroes because they're going to let you down somehow. When it's your own kin. You know what? My mother told me a story.

My mother did not have a father. He left as soon as she was born. This is in the 20s. And so she was raised by my grandmother and the meeting, you know, the larger family, the grandparents. But I remember she told me she was in World War II, as both our fathers were, a nurse.

And I forget how it came about, but her father, she was going to meet her father for the first time. And she was in her army uniform. And she was super excited. She didn't tell me a lot of stories like this, but she met him and she just said, it wasn't like he was mean or anything, he just was like cold. You know, it was like he just had to be there. He didn't really want to be there. And it just, you could tell it just was devastating.

Almost worse than if he had hit her or something. So... Is this, it's one of those things, I don't know if you really ever get over. No, not Sammy stuff. I mean, I realize... You know the song, Vienna? Of course. I didn't realize until recently,

it was me writing about me. Yes. I just thought it was about my friends. I was seeing my friends drive themselves crazy trying to live the American dream. And I thought I was talking about them. And I watched the doc and I went, wait a minute, this is me looking for my dad.

That's what this is about. And I'm still trying to work all that out. All those songs you have about going home to your family. Like, you cannot understand how interchangeable like people of our age who grew up like in the suburbs of New York, our lives were. You know, I bet you grew up in an all-white town. Yep, all white. So did I. Rivervale, New Jersey. And, you know, this is supposedly the liberal East, Northeast, New York City, but that's where

people were in the 50s and 60s. But all those songs, like it's like, wow, this guy's so in my head, you know? Well, our fathers fought the Second World War. My father fought the Second. Spent our weekends on the Jersey. We spent our weekends on the Jersey Shore. Or the one about the suburban showdown. Again, what an opus. I've had that feeling when I lived in LA

and I was going home for Thanksgiving or something and it was like, ah, going east on a plane, drinking all that free champagne. I know it's supposed to be fun, but I wish I took my gun and then, you know, sitting around with the neighbors there and the TV on and some of the kitchen chairs. All those details were exactly my life. and the neighbors there, and the TV on, and the kitchen chairs. All those details were exactly my life.

Well, it was what I knew. But you remember when we were growing up, the prevailing literature at the time was trashing the suburban culture. So we were kind of made to feel non-existent almost, useless, vanilla. What's the point of existence? It was, we're just existentialists. I remember feeling insignificant because of that,

and I was trying to present, hey, I'm here. We're here. You know, there is, we have something to discuss. We have something to talk about. We're not non-existent. We do exist. But we also were aware of our own lameness. We have something to talk about. We're not non-existent. We do exist. But we also were aware of our own lameness.

Yes, we were very much aware of it, I think. I mean, I look... We're beating over the head with it. I never liked living in New York City because I grew up in the suburbs. I like L.A. because it's the suburbs. There's no there there. I like a lawn and a single family, even if it's a shitty one.

Our house is very small, probably like your, maybe like a Levittown-like. Levittown house, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Houses were so much smaller. Yeah. But you had a quarter-acre and it was your property. But it was yours.

Yeah. It was enough. It's my whole universe. Oh. But, you know, you really write about the stultifying-ness of the suburbs. I mean, that Captain Jack is really about that. You know, moving out. So many of these songs evoke that era, that post-World War II generation,

that was just very different? And it's like I think of Angry Young Man, which is one of my faves of all. I figured that. It's an amazing record, so prescient, so fitting of this time. I don't know if it was ever a single, no. No. OK.

I figured you liked that song. Oh. I mean, I'm not going to recite the lyrics. I'll just do the B section. I believe I passed the age. Of consciousness and righteous rage. I found out that just surviving is a noble fight. I once had...

Well, it's believed in causes too. Cause too, I had my pointless point of view and life went on no matter who was wrong or right. I feel like that is the message of the age, even though some people will hear that and say, look at these two assholes. Boomers. You know, who aren't just like, Trump's the worst.

OK, but even if we admit that, this is also true. And I feel like that is a theme, you know, when your last album Shades of Grey. Shades of Grey. That's sort of that theme. It's even in Saigon, you know, like in the middle of the fight. Didn't matter. Who was wrong or right.

Right. You still feel that way. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And you don't care what they say about you, the woke or the... At this point, no, I'm... Yeah.

I'm inured to it. But there was always this, I don't know if it's rabbinical or what, but it was, on the other hand, I'm always trying to find out the other point of view. What's, you know, not my point of view, somebody else's point of view. Okay, I'd like to understand why they think that way. It's so difficult in this day and age because everybody is in their... It's almost impossible. It is almost impossible. I mean, it is what I am always trying to do on my show.

It is, look, this is one safe space for everybody. And I will take the heat from either, both sides. I mean, I do feel like the left, who ironically I'm more actually aligned with, is more snippy about it and has a worse attitude about it and makes me viscerally not like them more sometimes. But that's what I'm trying to do, and... I get that from your books.

Yes. You do this. Of course. You know, like, who the hell are you to throw stones in that direction? You know, I'm being... Look at me. That kind of thing.

Well, listen, I really wanted to say to you, among other things, you know, look at me, that kind of thing. Well, listen, I really wanted to say to you, among other things, you know, I appreciate you as much for the records you did not put out as for the ones you did, because very few had it in them to go. You know what? If I can't be at the tippity top as I always was, I'm not going to put my fans through the downside of my career.

Not that there hasn't been some fine stuff from lots of artists who were heroes of my youth, but in general, it's harder to do. And you did that, and then when you did finally put out a record, it was absolutely as good as the stuff in the... It fits seamlessly. If I play Turn the Lights Back On, it fits seamlessly in between any two of the other ones that I love. That's as good as you can do. Good.

But there's only one market in 32 years. I didn't write that one. Oh, shit. Well, I might have changed the lyric here and there. I liked the song. It sounds like one of yours. Yes. Maybe that's what I liked about it.

It felt familiar to me. I'd had those thoughts for a long time. But I enjoyed listening to that song. I said, yeah, I could have sung that. Well, it definitely works on two levels. Obviously, it's about some romantic relationship. But it also, we can't help but think a guy who hasn't put out a record in this long, when he's saying, can I turn the lights back on?

The lights back on. It has to be about that too. Yeah. Are we wrong? No, I think there's a couple of different levels to it, and that's one of them. I like songs like that, that like, you know, some of it is just, Eagles did it a lot, you know, like there's just a philosophy, then it goes into a story.

You know, like New Kid in Town. First it's like, you know, there's talk on the street, you know, there's a new kid in town. First, it's like, you know, there's talk on the street, you know, there's a new kid in town, and then it goes into, like, this whole section about the music and talking about a girl, and it does kind of comment on each other. I feel like that's kind of the thing that's going on. I think Don Henley does that very well.

I think I admire him as a songwriter. Oh, such a a songwriter. Such a great songwriter. And people have this deep animosity towards the Eagles. They've been so successful. That's my stairway to heaven theory. Exactly. What is that?

It's people wanting to be snobby. It's people wanting to feel like they're cool. Why do clubs have a velvet rope? Because everything has to be about, I'm cooler than you, so you're over here. You're over here with Neil Diamond and the Eagles and Billy Joel or whoever. It's like, shut up, you asshole. I thought we were past that era. Why did you get that impression? You thought humans evolved to a greater...

I thought we got smarter. Social media, the phone, made all of that shit worse. All of that shit got worse because you could do it all... It dumbed it down. What? It might have even dumbed it down. Well, it's dumbed down, but it's also... You can be a prick anonymously.

Which allows people who want to be a prick. Right? I mean, people say things all the time that they would never say if they had to say it to your face. It just always surprises me how people, they express this hatred. It's like you hate a musician because he wrote something. When I was first on Twitter, it was like 2011, and I haven't been on it in a very long time to say, well, once in a while I say something.

But it was like the very beginning and I answered somebody once. You can answer people. And she was like just really tearing me a new asshole about religion, and I said something back, like very short and then like, enjoy your myth. And she wrote back and immediately was just like, can we be friends? You know, it's like, can I, can I, I'm taking,

like, okay, the second I responded, all this hatred of me went away, because now I'm saying, oh, oh here you're inside the velvet rope. So that's what that's all about. But you know, you transcended it all. You know, you gave us an incredible body of work that really, I mean, you're not just a great composer for my era and any era.

Well, that's interesting because I've never really done any kind of discussion about lyrics with my music. It's always been about my piano playing, my singing, performing music, but not lyrics. So that's interesting to me. I'm glad you dug out that part. Yes, and I do think, just like I have my theory about the Beatles with the singles, I have my theory about you and its lyrics. It's like that was, you said it, the tyranny of the rhyme.

To come up with the music, that's probably more fun and easy. I also was influenced by people that, we're talking about over 150 years ago, you've heard of Gilbert and Sullivan. Of course. My mom and my dad used to listen to Gilbert and Sullivan operetta. These were operas. They were very clever lyrics.

Very. Sarcastic English, you know, 19th century topics. But they were so brilliantly written. I admired that kind of lyric. That's what I was kind of going for when I was writing my lyrics. You got there. But, you know, it's almost like something that good. It's like a lot of things where after a certain age, I mean, there are no old physicists.

Like, Einstein did all his work when he was, like, in his young 20s. Yeah. Even as a teenager. Yeah. Athletes, nobody expects them to work past 40. Maybe, you know, you put out albums from basically early 70s to early 90s. 20 years. That's enough. A score. from basically early 70s to early 90s, 20 years. That's enough. A score.

They don't use that word anymore, but it's in the Gettysburg Address. 20 years. Yeah, he said four score and seven years ago. He could have said 87 years, just like you could have said a younger man instead of, yeah. But that's between a poet and not a poet. But to all those people who are always, Billy Joel, why doesn't he put something out?

You know what? He gave you a lot. And get off his case. You're like the Fran Lebowitz of music. Why don't you write another book? Maybe they know something you don't. You know what? He gave a lot.

He wanted to get every last speck of wood and just grind you into dust and drive them back to drinking to get one. You know what? He's given a lot and his last one even was great. And I guess what I'm saying is don't take any shit from anybody, Bill. Thank you. I appreciate it. No one's ever told me that. They should, because you earned it. Thank you. Okay, I appreciate this so much.

This special is awesome. It's on HBO, which makes me proud. My network of 22 years. And I hope everybody sees it, because your life is worthy of all the accolades you're getting. Club, random. If anyone should get a victory lap at you, Your life is worthy of all the accolades you're getting. Club, random.

If anyone should get a victory lap at you... Thanks. Alright, pal. Very good.