Club Random with Bill Maher - Cary Elwes | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: February 16, 2026

Bill Maher sits down with actor Cary Elwes for a freewheeling conversation that starts with hair jokes and quickly becomes a masterclass in craft, including the moment Al Pacino changed Cary’s life with a simple “work the muscle” speech. They take on Hollywood’s gun obsession, Olivier vs. Brando, Kubrick’s genius (and excess), whether 2001 is transcendent or a sedative, and why A Clockwork Orange still ignites debate decades later. Along the way: Braveheart, Scarface tattoos, and Catholic guilt. They cancel hell, roast John Wick, and somehow land on the idea of Pacino as God in Purgatory. Support our Advertisers: -Try ZipRecruiter for free at https://www.ziprecruiter.com/random  -Get 15% off OneSkin with the code RANDOM at https://www.oneskin.co/RANDOM #oneskinpod #ad -Head to https://www.superpower.com and use code RANDOM at checkout for $20 off your membership. Live up to your 100-Year potential. #superpowerpod #ad Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://billmaher.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Club Random Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clubrandom.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it.  For advertising opportunities please email: [e-mail] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, folks, if you're going to spend money on something and might as well be something you actually like, that's what I always say. That's where the club random merch store comes in. That's right. Get yourself a cozy hoodie. Look at this. This is really well designed. That's right. Get yourself a cozy hoodie to snuggle away your sorrows or some new club random shirts. Look at all this shit I have. To attract a partner with similar interests and live happily ever after. I've seen crazier rom-coms, so head over to clubrandom.com and bring home some random. Some directly inciting people. You're talking about one of my favorite movies. Okay.

No, I'm just, I consider Kubrick like great-fiel. Pulling kale. Pulling Kyle. Excuse me. Sorry, me. Hey, Bill. How are you? I'm good, man.

How are you? You've aged well. You look very similar to when I first tell you on the screen. Thank you, Bill. Been a fan for a long time. Oh, thank you. You have a lot of fan. Thank you.

I found out when I told people you were coming on. Thank you, Bill. All right, well, that's it. Thank you for coming by. I just wanted to give you an affirmation for today. Appreciate you. Great to see. And you have all your hair?

Well, so it's not a wig yet. What do you mean? What is it? God, it's my real hair, yeah. So do you. I think you have more. I don't want to get into a, if this leads to a dick contest and I'm just,

no, but yeah, you look like you have a few more than I do because, you know, it is a struggle to retain the things that give the population the allure that you're still. that you're still young. Right. And you can do it with two things. You're not fat and if you have hair.

True. And also, you can't drink a lot. No. Because then you look like Ted Kennedy in 1980. No. And it's just no good. I used to when I was a kid, but I... Me too.

When I was a kid of 50, I did. I mean, I only quit when I... That's hilarious. Well, it's true. No. I always say you're like in basketball, there's this, or all sports, are saying you take what the defense gives you right and you're and it's like that I think with

the body like when my body gave me 30 drinks a week I had them sure and now my body gives me two yeah I'm gonna one of them right now yeah no for real I same thing you know when you're a teenager or in your 20s you feel like you're immortal you know you can drink all night long go out party do anything and did you oh for sure you know I was like any other teenager you know I rebelled and no I mean like teenager teen I wish I was like that as a teenager I was a loser's I wish somebody invited me out to like do bad I lived in New York for 10 years so a whole decade of New York in the 80s will do it to you Bill but you're British right yes sir you grew up in Britain yes sir moved to the

States when I was 18 okay we invited you or you're just barged away in like all these other uh i always wanted to work here i always british a british actor who had a great appreciation for american film because i sort of came i came of age in the 70s when the 60s and 70s when movies were really getting really interesting right um yeah and it's counterculture totally and so my favorite actors besides some of the british ones i grew up with were um um American actors, especially New York ones, you know, character acts like Dustin, Bob, Bobby Deval, Al Pacino, you know, these people, you know, loomed large in my consciousness. You look more like Robert Redford. That really should have been your good.

Oh, thank you, God, I wish. That's a very nice compliment. Blonde. Yeah, right. You know, handsome blonde guy. I mean, though guys you mentioned are not like lookers. Yeah, no, I, I, I, when I was 18 or 20s, actually, when I did Princess Bride in 24, I thought, God, I'm just going to get nonstop, you know, blonde, blue-eyed, you know, Prince rolls, which is what happened. I got offered every movie with a sword, you know what I mean? And I'm like, no, or fairy tale, or you meet the princess and you save the princess, fight the dragon, they don't fight that. And I just thought, man, I... What do you do to fight that? You have to let play a bad guy?

Well, yeah. So I was like, oh, God, I've got to change this face. I've got to mix it up, Bill. I've got to try and find a way to change my path or the path that people want me to take, right? And I'll tell you a quick funny story. I was in New York. By the way, living in New York, not working.

I don't know if you've ever been through that. Not a great thing to do. I love New York as a comedian, which is someone who certainly doesn't work in the day. Right, right. But you got paid to go up on stage and do your act? Not at first, no. Oh, really?

Oh, no. I sold drugs. Oh, okay. We all did. Well, that's a lucrative business. Yeah, there's no pay at the beginning. Right. But very soon, if you're good, when I say very soon, within a couple of years, you know, are you doing great?

No, but you have enough to live. And that always made the actors in New York very jealous of us because the comedians didn't have to wait tables. Right, yeah, no, to you, waiting tables. Why, you did? Not in New York, in London. Yeah, I did. I was a bus boy. I never did, bitch.

I never waited on a table. No, I remember we used the comedian just to kind of like, maybe in the diner or whatever it was, and there was like, you know, there was a kind of a, especially in the theater district, you know. That's hilarious. Because the improv was 44th and 9th. It was created as a place for, I mean, the improv,

which has spawned all the comedy clubs, the urban company, was created in 1962 by Bud Friedman as a place for the theater crowd to go after the show. It wasn't originally... I didn't know that. That's interesting.

Absolutely. It wasn't necessarily a comedy club, but it was, they put comics up. But like anybody who had just done their show, and was loose and having drinks, that was the hangout, 44th and night. It was a block away from Times Square. Yeah, Times Square back when I lived,

there was kind of more like taxi driver. You know, when he drives through. Sure. It was like that. It was intense. I lived close there. I lived in Hell's Kitchen. You know what I'm doing about it. Okay. So anyway, so I'm kind of not working in New York, which again is not great. Because, you know, you're starting to like figure out what you're going to eat, how you're going to make the rent, all that stuff. Yeah.

I'm in a restaurant with a friend and he starts having a heart attack at lunch, my friend. And I'm like, what's going on? Are you okay? He's like, Al Pacino, three o'clock. I'm like, what? He goes, Al Pacino, over there. I look over, and sure enough, Al's there. This is Cafe Des Artis, which my friend was paying for. I couldn't afford that lunch.

I remember. You remember Cafe, right? Was that with the crayons on the table? I don't know. I think it was. It was one of those where they had like the tablecloth was paper. You know, like, yes. And there was crayons.

He was supposed to like draw. It was so, it was so. So it was, you know. Anyway, so there's Al. It's why they hate us in the Midwest. Who can fucking blame him? There's crayons on the table. Be artistic while you're ordering.

Anyway, so there's Al. And he's entertained. He's got like 12 people at a long table. And he's at the head of the table. And my friend, who's an actor, also not working, by the way. He goes, hey, we're actors. We should go say hi to Al. I'm like, no, we really should.

He's with friends. It's not due. And as I'm saying, let's not do that. He's up and out of a chair. He's over there. And I'm like turning the color of your curtain right here. I'm just so embarrassed right now. I'm like, oh, God.

I look over and I see him gesturing. Al's like, who is this guy? Are you a waiter? What is this? And I see him point, my friend, point to me saying that over there. And Al looks over and I can see him looking right at me. And now I'm really mortified. Why is he blaming you?

Because he's saying, come over to come and say hello. Oh, oh, oh. So your friend succeeded. He did well. Not that. I'm wondering, like, do you really, is this really what Al wants to have people come up and introduce themselves, strangers all the time

while he's having lunch with his friends? And I'm thinking, I walk over. And my friend says, oh, Mr. She knows, my friend Carrie always, he's an actor. And he goes, oh, yeah. What are you doing right now? And I said, well, you know, I'm going up on auditions and I'm between jobs. And he goes, oh, so you're drifting.

And I went, oh, great, this is great. Michael Corleone just called me a drifter. This is exactly my day is working out as plan. And he goes, let me ask you a question, Carrie. And he taps my heart, Bill, like that. And he goes, what's this? I go, my heart? He goes, no.

Then he taps my head right here. He goes, what's that? And I said, it's not my brain, isn't he? He goes, no. He goes, then muscles, Carrie. Do you go to the gym? I go, yeah. He goes, what happens when you stop working out?

He says, I said, well, you atrophy. He said, that's right. These are muscles. You've got to go to the gym and go work them out. That's why I go. I do plays. I always keep my muscles loose so that I'm ready to work. He said that.

He said that. So he said he gave me his assistant. It's amazing. He gave me his assistant. He goes, you know, you should go check out Lee Straussbergins too, where I, my mentor is teaching there. Go audition. I'll help you get in the door, but the rest is on you.

I went, I audition, I got in. I ended up training with his mentor, a guy called Charlie Lawton, not the actor, but the same name. And changed my life. I started working, like, within a month or two. So it's a beautiful story when a celebrity gives you the absolute personal number of his own assistant. Doesn't happen. It just doesn't happen.

It touches this thing and this thing. You know what? And as far as this thing and this thing go, see, that is the difference between comedians and actors. And, you know, I mean, we have a lot in common. And we have some things that are not. I mean, when you're a comedian, everyone is always coming up to you and saying, tell me a joke. So when you're an actor, people don't come up to you and say, show me a menu. Right.

No, it's true. I just had to get one more. You guys were a waiters joke in there. I was actually a busboy. I was never a waiter. It's even lower than a waiter, Bill. But, you know, that acting stuff, see, I mean, I made my living as an actor in the 80s. You know, we all did as comics.

We then went on to sitcoms and stuff like that. And it just, it's just, you just feel like you. doing every, I enjoyed some of it, but like you are doing things left-handed a little bit because it is your nature as a comic to not be a character, to be as real as you can, to be just, at least my brand. Yeah. So it's always a bit of a stretch. And, you know, at some point, you know, the business taps you on the shoulder and says,

this is not what you're meant for. And, you know, but it does sometimes takes time to find. that but but you know Al Pacino I know him a little bit and he's he is a very generous soul person generous I mean yeah that story in of itself and he also was a guy who more than really almost all the other actors he does take this shit seriously like he he really I mean even if you're anything except Shakespeare yeah is kind of second class it's like Shakespeare is really what we're hearing in this business to do.

Right. We will do other things. Yes. Lord knows he's done plenty of other things. Yes. Yes. But really, we're here to do Shakespeare. For sure. Yeah. I mean, that's... I followed him on tour when he did American Buffalo.

Do you remember that playing? Mamet? Yeah. Mamet's been here a few times. I'm sure. I love Dave. And he was brilliant, but I love him. Sure. But he was brilliant in that role, American Buffalo. I don't know if you ever saw it.

What is that about? It's like three guys trying to figure out how to, I think they're trying to steal a nickel or something. I don't know. I've forgotten it's been so long, but I remember there's a lot of drama and it's very tense. No, Profanit. No, of course not. It's David Mamet, please. No, but it's Al trying to change his life with a miracle.

And he plays a very conflicted human being very, very well, I might add. So you go back to the theater just because of the muscle thing. Totally. Totally. Totally. No, just really about it. Well, no. So you.

We're back to the. This is great, Bill. So you, whether you need to. My interview with the waiter, Carrie L.S. That's great. Former waiter. Former. Former.

Okay. Bill Moore. No. It was about, the actress, the lead Straves begins, were very similar to the actors, studio, they teach you Stanislavsky, they teach you preparation, they teach you relaxation, they teach you character, they teach you background, they teach you, yeah, go on. As a limey.

Yes. And I say that with a fact, yeah. You can go. Who, when I was a kid, the world's most famous, or at least, at least the common opinion that he was that he was the greatest actor in the world was Lawrence Olivier. Yeah. Who had no use for any of that stuff. No, no.

Was he a great actor? Is it just the different styles of the times? Because when you watch old movies, you just have to forgive them for being pre-realistic era. We grew up in the era where, especially in the 60s, we were saying before, those kind of movies. Like, the audience no longer accepted just, I shoot you and you.

Right, right. There's no blood and you just kind of fall in a heap. And, you know, you had to do everything realistically. Yeah. Olivier was pre that. Yeah, he was heightened realism. I mean, I was fascinated by him. What a nice way to say, Ham.

No, I think it's a fair way to say it without being offensive to his talent. Olivia, you look at like Richard III or Hamlet or anything he did, Henry V. I love him. They're all great. But there's a heightened sense of reality with the way that he delivers, obviously one of the great Shakespearean actors of all time. But even when he's doing Rebecca or something like that,

you feel like there's a, there's a realism, but it's heightened. For me, it's heightened. But then Marlon Brando comes along, and he pushes that all aside and goes, I'm gonna sweat, I'm gonna sniff, I'm gonna be, you can smell me on screen, right? You can feel the dirt under my fingernails.

Actually, with Brando, you could smell him, and you could see the door under his fingernail. No, I think that was the point, though, that he was being. Marlon started to be on screen, whereas other people before him were creating. Yeah, go on. It also has to do with the roles you're taking. Now, I mean, Stanley Kowalski, yes, you have to be that.

Spartacus is nemesis, the noble Roman Crassus, who Olivier played in the movie, Spartacus, directed by... Stanley Kubrick. Thank you. Okay, and Stanley Kubrick, I love that... He made, like, one, like, classic Hollywood movie, and then went, okay, now that I've shown you, I can do this. Now I'm going to do...

Sure. Always stuff that's ahead of the game. But I just wanted to show you... Sure, that I can do it. I can work with Lawrence Olivier and Kirk Douglas, and I can make a big budget, and it's awesome. And Charlie Lawen. I still love that movie.

It's great. So, but like he's playing this part of Crassus, the noble Roman who captures Spartacus. I don't know if you really want to even be, you know, all that super-duber realistic. Don't you just want to be entertaining sometimes? I think that was the point for me with Olivier is that he knew how to entertain people. I read his autobiography. He did the entertainer. He did the entertainer, exactly.

But he actually, believe it or not, suffered from terrible stage fright. And this is a guy who did, who was never. did more stage plays than probably any other actor of his generation. And he used to go up to the curtain on the stage while everyone was taking their seats. And to build up his courage, Bill, he would open the curtains and go, you're about to see a performance you've never seen before tonight. And then that gave him the strength to go out there and do that. He said that to himself.

To himself. Yeah. To give him the courage and the, And we all do that in their own way. We all do. You kind of have to psych up right before you, you know. But he had terrible fright. Your close up is coming after lunch, Mr. Elway's, right?

Are you going to go have a big fucking heavy lunch? No. No. You're going to go to your trailer. Yeah. I always hated that. Like, when I thought I was going to work in the morning. That's funny.

When we're fresh. Right. And they waste all morning doing the math. master shot, which they never use. Right, right, never. And then, okay, after lunch, okay, so now I'm hungry, but I can't eat because you can't act. That's hilarious.

Or, by the way, fuck, if you're right after eating. I don't know why people try either one, but they do. That's hilarious. But isn't it right? It's true. Always. No, it's always unpredictable. You're on their timetable, yeah? And so...

Are there directors, though, who, like, are you? are more cognizant of a map because I would think if I was a director, what I would have at least done, I mean, I'm this great acting icon. I did some acting so I know what it was. I would make sure that my actors got their close-ups at the optimum moment. I would re-rig it so everything was working around that. I should not direct.

I should not direct. No. I know, I'm not starting new careers in 70. I'm happy to keep the two I've got going. Okay. I used to have three. I used to tour. I only don't do that anymore doing stand-up.

But no, I'm not going to direct. But that's what I would do because I do remember that frustrating feeling like if we had just gotten to this earlier in the day. Sure. And, you know, it's a funny thing. the way I remember the concentration, you know, that you have to keep. It's a nerve-wracking job because you can't quite ever relax. No.

Because when they call on you, so you can't quite ever relax, even though you have oodles of time to do nothing. You still can't quite relax into it. You're always mulling the scene over in your head. Right. And I find, I like it when directors move very quickly. This picture I just did, as Dead Man's Wire with Gus Van Sant. Oh, yeah, I had Gus here.

He's great. He's great, isn't? Yeah. Thank you. We had 19 days. So there was no sitting around. There wasn't time to go back to your trailer and hang out. 19 days?

19 days. Wow. So once you came out of your trailer, that was the last time you saw the trailer until rap. Good. And so I like that. It's like TV. I mean, I don't recommend it for every picture. But when you have too much time on your hands and you're just sitting in the trailer doing that,

you can overthink the scene and really like, go, okay, what if I do it? I go, okay, what if I did that? Or your life. Or your life. Really? Because there's a lot of time. Yeah, too much time. And so I like moving quickly.

And that's a trailer. I mean, I remember being in honey wagons, which is, if people don't know, a trailer is like when you're the star, you get your own trailer. And like big stars, like, have like a permanent trailer that is made for them. And wherever they go, they fly in. Double-banger, trip. Right. It's like, you know, a home away from home as much as a trailer.

other can be. A honeywell is like a little cubby hole that's attached to like five others. So like when anybody else in the next one walks up the steps, it's like boom, boom, boom. And slams the door. You can't sleep there. I mean, the toilet is like that thing. I'm not going to, but it is a toilet of sorts, but you certainly are. You know, it's a trailer life. It's true. Yeah, but that's honey. That's honey wagon. Honeywagon's even worse. And also, when you're in the honey wagon, you know you're not important. They have to keep you with some sort of roof over your head, but it can be the shittiest.

It's hilarious. It's true, you know. I did a picture in Dublin one time. And to work with the Irish is just hilarious. And so the transport, I know, well, I'm part, I have some Gaelic in me. Anyway, so this transport guy comes over and goes, oh, you're in luck, Mr. Elis.

I go, why? He goes, you have John Wayne's trailer from The Quiet Man. Wow. I'm like, The Quiet Man. Wasn't that 1950? Like 50? 35. Was it really?

Yes. They take me over, Bell. They open it and I can smell it before I go inside. And there's oil dripping from the ceiling and I go, and it's like staining the couch and I go, what's that? He goes, well, that was broken when Mr. Wayne was here and we've decided not to fix it. And I thought, what a great character trailer this is or honeywanger. Oil dripping from where?

From the ceiling. But what's in the ceiling that had oil? It was 1930. What is it? Five. There you go. I still don't know what would be in the ceiling that would drip oil. I think they didn't know either and didn't want to try and find out

why there was oil. So what, you stayed in it? That was my trailer. I had no choice. You got, you're lucky. You got John Wayne's trailer. We selected just for you. I thought, wow, special.

What was this? It was a showtime movie. Timothy Dalton. But it was fun. I loved a James Bond. Yeah. But great fun, Ireland. Great fun.

I love the Irish. Yeah. I mean, I went in night... What? I mean, they're my people. Yeah, you're a people. I went in 99. Okay.

Where'd you go? I was in Europe. I do remember as the plane landed, I did get very emotional. Without intending to... And I'm not like that. Sure. I mean, I'm, I mean... No, no, I sure.

You don't even know what I'm going to say. No, no, but there was something to that. Yeah, no, but I'm saying, you know, I've been trying to get me to cry on TV for 33 years. It's not going to happen. I'm not a cry, but, like, for some reason, it hit me. And then around the country for a week was fascinating, sometimes infuriating.

I mean, the signs, first of all, you can't read the language. People think, oh, the Irish. or English, same thing. Not the same thing. Not even. A completely different language, different people. I mean, they weren't, they didn't look as different as the people that England conquered in Africa

and India and the Indochina, but just as different a culture. I mean, it was just as much a conquest of a different people who just, yeah, said, I'm going to make you my bitch, and they did. That's your people, the English, fuck you.

Yeah. Yeah. And So you would see the signed and it would say the name of the town like they give the direction. Now we do that here. Right. If you're on the freeway here, it says to San Diego. You have to know San Diego is south. It's kind of a dirty trick. We don't all know that.

We do. Yeah. But, you know, or, you know, San Francisco, to San Francisco. There are people from Germany. Which I don't know where San Francisco. I know it's in California. Right. So, you know, there would be like the sign,

McGillababababab. That's hilarious. 18 letter names for towns this way. I'm like, oh, that's helpful. That's great. And, of course, this is pre-GPS. I was going to say, it must be before that. But it was also kind of cool because then you would have to engage in people.

You'd walk into the pub. It's great. You know. All of a sudden, someone's got a guitar. Right? There's singing and there's beer. I mean, the drinking. I mean, there were people like,

frequently I saw this over there, passed out sitting on the stool. Oh, no, it was incredible. I worked at this place called Ardmore Studios. It's very famous studios in Dublin. And they have a bar upstairs for the cast and crew. And I'm looking around the wall, Bill, and there's pictures of famous people.

You can't quite make them out, but there's Peter O'Toole lying like this. There's this Richard Burton like that. Huge, huge drunk. I'm like, this is amazing, Albert Finney. and I'm like this is... Well, you're maiming all the... Giant, drunk.

Drunk at this bar and passed out. That was such a tradition. Michael Caine. Michael Cain. I'm not telling this out of school. I think he said, you know, like they would put it away by the bottle. Yeah, like a bottle of vodka a day. And then I'm like to have wine at lunch as if it was like a corrective to their...

Oh, let's have some hell food to... Even out the vodka we had all morning, let's have some rosé because it's made from breaks. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. It's sort of true. And they were, uh, another one is, um, Oliver Reed. Reed, oh, please.

What? He was, legendary. For drinking. Oh, please. It was, he's like, he was determined to outdo Burton and O'T this guy. He was, uh. Right, because he was a great actor, if you remember, uh, If you remember, Gladiator.

Great, but before that, Oliver. He's the slave traitor. Yeah, he was great. It's a great part. Yeah. He, you know, it's a pivotal part, and he kills it. But he, yes, known for that. I mean, the English would call it getting pissed.

Yeah. Which means drunk, very, like very drunk. But a lot of these guys were, were, it's the phrase, They were able to drink and still deliver. You know, they were there. Plainly. Right?

Because they were all in the bag by lunch. By lunch. And after lunch. So check out Beckett, for instance. A great story about Beckett. You remember Beckett? Of course. Right.

O'Toole and Burton. Great movie. Catherine. Catherine? Oh. Hepburn? Right? Whom.

O'Toole picked to play that part. And... He's Eleanor of Aquit. Brilliant. And this is Henry the second. No, no, that's Line and Winter, you're thinking of. Beckett is before. He plays Henry and both.

Okay. So Line and Winter was Catherine Hepburn. Okay. Beckett was the precursor to that, and that was Burton and the Houtel. Based on the real priest who would not give in to the king. Correct. Correct. It's one of those stories. Brilliant.

And they found a local pub that they really both enjoyed. and they found themselves in this pub at closing time. And the owner of the bar said, you know, gentlemen, last call. O'Toole was like, there's such a thing, there's last call, don't be silly. You know, something like that, right? And the guy goes, no, sir, please. And there's no one out. They're the last people in the bar.

Peter O'Toole said he was so infuriated that he and Burr, bought the bar to keep it open. I love... They negotiated a price. I love show business. Isn't that a great story? That's all I'm going to say about that. I love fucking show business.

That great? Where we can buy the bar. Buy it. Fuck you. That's it. It's ours. Right. And I may keep you here on, just keep your job if you're lucky, if you give me another drink.

We left at Richard Harris. Oh, Richard was great. Richard was great. But also, it's amazing the way they, this like drinking club. It was incredible. Richard Burton, Richard Howard. By the way, do you remember SCTV? Oh, dude.

You know Rob Reiner, who you had on your show recently. Yes, director of the Princess Bride. God bless him. He turned me on to STV. I had no idea who they were. Martin Short, Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara. This is brilliant. This is the American.

Early 80s. Canadian TV. No, brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. They once did a sketch that was called Three Kings and a Poe. And it was just a mashup of all these kind of movies. Medieval. I got to see that one.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. If you can YouTube. Oh, that's great. John Candy? Well, I don't remember who played who. But, you know, it was like, they all talked like, you know, the one did Burton and one did Richard Harrison. It's all about medievaly kind of.

They were brilliant. Those guys. Absolutely, yeah, I didn't know who they were. And Rob's like, you'd never see. So he arranged to have a crate of VHS tapes sent to England. Sure. And on PAL, mind you, because of a different system. So I could watch them in my trailer. And I was like, this is waiting for to shoot suddenly became actually like, I'm old.

Yeah. And, you know, I mean, you can see, I mean, they were all brilliant. Brilliant. But you see that, like, all these years later, Catherine Nahara, Marty, Levy, they're still, and just went on to be bigger stories. I mean, I saw Martin the other last week, and, you know, he's a straight up A-lister now. They're all amazing. I was blown away. And, of course, Rob's like, ah, did I tell you, right?

I like this, brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Well, I don't know. know how we got on to that about the British actors, but you being a British actor, I guess you have to take some responsibility. But you never had a drug problem, a drinking problem. No, no. No?

No. Why? Because I, honestly, Al kind of made me. Oh, geez, back to Al. This was really an important moment. This was really an important moment. Well, it was for me. I see.

I mean, I had Al Pacino basically. The power of celebrity, it is. It is a little Christy, you know, the way he could heal the lepers or whatever. Because like some of that, like I'm an atheist, I don't believe any of that. But like we do know that the power of the mind to affect actual health is real. Yeah, no question. I mean, we don't quantify it. It's not something.

I believe in that. No, it's true because before, like 200 years ago, that's all we had. was the placebo effect. Because they do studies now with placebos, and they very often work as well. If you think you're getting better, you get better. Sure. Oh, I forgot why I started talking about that.

It was so interesting to me. What were you talking about? Hey, I'm the one who's stoned. You asked me if I did it. Al Pacino, he basically forced me to really re-examine my career and where I was. mentally, physically, spiritually, everything. And when I started working with his mentor,

that meant a lot to me. He was sharing his teacher with me. Yeah? And I didn't take that lightly. That's a huge responsibility. And, of course, I was early for every class, Bill. You know, I just couldn't wait. I know what I was saying.

The power of celebrity. The power, it's almost Christ-like, the way people revere celebrity. so much. I've done it myself. Sure. You know, I mean, I've healed marriages. You know, like, if I say, like, you just command so much respect, you can be like, look, you two. You love each other. And like, they wouldn't do that for like, a civilian. Wow. But a celebrity, and like, he did that for you. He did that for me. It's just like there's this power that comes from, I mean, people give it to us. We don't deserve it. He earned it. He earned it. Al. He,

This is a guy, as you mentioned earlier, who takes his career very seriously. Yeah, but... Right? He does, he always delivers a great performance. Yeah, he earned it as an artist. I don't know, that rivals, to me, people who achieve things that are of practical value.

You know, I don't think it rivals like what Obama did or George Washington. Right, no, no, for sure. People like that, or people who invented things that changed our whole world. No question. For the better, for the worse. No question.

You know, we're not doing, we're not curing cancer or, you know, anything like that. But there is something to, if you're meeting a young actor, an impressional young actor, who's having a hard time for me. That was magic. It was essentially drifting. That was, you know. It was the curtain opening. Yeah.

What? Well, it's healing the leper. Yeah, well. And the leper, to my earlier digression, like, I don't think you could cure a leprosy, but there are definitely things where people have gotten better because the belief is so strong. For some reason, sometimes it is religion. You know about Christian scientists? Yeah, so.

Okay, well, it's a great way to go to jail because if you're a parent with a child and you're a Christian scientist and you don't get the medical attention because you actually believe Jesus is going to handle this. Jesus take the wheel and he doesn't. Right. He flakes. Yeah. Doesn't show up to help you out. They'll put you in jail because, yes, you killed your kid for your belief. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of, you know, religion.

Well, I'm more of a spiritual person. Organized religion to me has, I don't want to get into it here. I promised I wouldn't discuss politics or religion on your show. But for me, I just, I have my own spirituality. and I don't need a church to pray and I can pray anywhere. And so I'm not an atheist like you. I don't know, and I don't judge anyone. It's what works for the individual.

Absolutely. Yeah. And by the way, people think atheists care a lot about, care a lot more about the subject than we do. Right. Really, we just don't give a shit. It's hilarious. No, it's true.

That's great. I was singing some songs at my birthday party did the night, and one of them had some religiously... And I said to the people, like, just because I'm singing these words, I don't give a shit. Right. You know, My Sweet Lord by George Harrison. I love this song.

And I'll sing along. I don't even believe that. Right. You know, I'm not... It's like, my sweet Lord, can't wait to see you. That's not me. For sure. But the song is good.

Yeah. Mostly we don't care. You know, we just... We're not dogmatic about like there definitely is no God. It could be anything. Plainly there's something other than just, well, whatever, because we're here. And is it all a dream? Is it the matrix and we're not really living it?

Or is there an alternative universe like this on another planet? Are there other planets? How did it all begin? What was before the Big Bang? I mean, I could give you a million questions that nobody can even come. I'm close to answering. Atheists are just people who go, yeah, so we don't give a shit. And the rest of you are like, no, I think I know.

Yeah. I think I know what it is. That's hilarious. And I think I know who it is. And I think what happens is reincarnation. I think what happens is you. I don't know. Nobody knows.

Nobody knows. And if you do have the answer to that, you need to share it with all of us. No, I just believe in, I believe there is a God. I don't know if it's a male or female. I don't know. I've never met him. So I'm just saying I... If there is even such a concept as a god,

it must be so beyond male and female, right? No, 100%. I agree. And no one has the answers. I don't pretend I do. I'm not omnipotent. None of us are. I just like the idea of, here's an example.

When I stumble and fall, I find myself on my knees. Physically. Or your... Mentally. Yeah. When I stumble and fall, sometimes I find myself on my knees, and then I'm in a good position to pray. That's just me. Yeah. Right? And it's helped me. I'm not saying it's right or wrong or should be for you or someone else. I'm saying for me in moments of crisis, I've found that having that connection is helpful for me. I have no issue with this.

Yeah, no, I know. I know what, you were saying you don't so care. You know what my issue with this and it's positive is, I'm thrilled that anybody in this earth has something that makes them not be a total fucking nut. Dangerous, dangerous, violent. That's hilarious. Yeah, sure. Anything that keeps you calm.

Yeah, sure. Anything. I'm so down with it. I'll even go fund it. I love it. It's a form of meditation. Great. Right?

I can't do that either. I try. They're almost one in the same thing. If you think about it, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, look, don't get mad at me, but I'm going to quote my friend Sam Harris because it always makes me laugh. Go.

He says, if you got your hair dryer out, and you said you were speaking into it, and when you were speaking into it, you were communicating. with this being in outer space, they would take you to the mental institution. But take away the hair dryer and you're praying. That's funny. That's funny. And it's good that you couldn't admit that it's funny.

It has to be. And also, who knows who's right? Nobody. And maybe they do hear you. No. But I would use the hair dryer. Plus, you sound funnier when you're talking about. Yeah.

But no one knows the answer. And I also will admit this, sometimes if there are things that are coincidenti that make even a skeptic like me go, well, that was weird. Right? For sure. We don't have the answers. We don't know. That's the great unknown.

We don't know. And there does seem to be some level of a channel where people are picking up a radio station that most of us don't pick up with our five senses, that does seem to be a little extra. I mean, I keep talking to magicians. I keep running into magicians for some reason these days. Really? I don't know what that means.

You spend time with the magic castle? I'm not. What I'm saying? It's just happening to me. Right. I can only imagine what the psychiatrist would say. If I had one, which I don't, I'd rather go to a magician.

That's hilarious. But I just and I want to know because I certainly have seen things that magic do nowadays that seem to be crossing the line from magic into sort of telepathy. And it's like it just seems impossible that they could do this. And yet the reason why I'm skeptical is because they do other things that are just pure magic. And I can't imagine that I can do that to me. I mean, they, they, I'm literally holding the thing in my hand. I open it up now.

It's a bunch of, you know, pigeon shit or something. Whatever they're doing, it's like, oh, my God. Like, how could you possibly have done that? Right. So I wonder, but, you know, again, just don't know. We don't know. And I think the atheist view is like you only give yourself gray hairs trying to figure it out.

So just be a decent person for the sake of it. Not because there's, you know, I mean, Catholicism, which is I was raised at, is very, oh, you too? Yeah. Very big on scaring you. Yeah. About if you don't, this will happen.

Pergatory. Not a great thing. Pergatory would be a relief from, at least you're not in half. Downation, eternal down. Pergatory is like the. No, I know. But you're on your way. The middle.

I know, but still, yeah. What is it's... What is purgatory like? Like, I know what hell is like... I wish I don't know. A devil hot poking you with a... Haven't been there. I know, but like we have a...

No, but I'm just saying like people have a mental picture of hell. Like you're in... It's fucking hot. It's the flames. Right. The devil is poking you with his pitchfork. It's just pain. Right.

Like internally. And heaven, we know that. Cloud, God. Whatever, whenever somebody dies, They do a cartoon of them, and they're, like, doing the thing in heaven that they did on earth. Like, Bob Hope is up in heaven with a golf club. Right. Okay.

So I know what heaven is, and I know what hell is. What's purgatory? I think purgatory, the idea is that you're on your way. Oh, I know the idea. Right. Dude, I... Honestly, I didn't pay much attention to Sunday school. That was the thing for me.

There was so much mythology attached to it that I was like... You had me lost on the third Sunday school class. You know what I mean? I don't know if you want to get involved with me on a business level, but I'm telling you, I think Pergatory is wide open. Series, epic movie. I'm thinking Ridley Scott. That's hilarious.

I see you. I've worked in some shows that seemed like Pugatory. Yeah, they really did. No, I think we need a guy just like you, you're the right age to run Pergatory. Okay. You're neither a good guy nor a bad guy. Because you're in purgatory.

Ha ha! That's excellent. And it's about the dichotomy. Sure. I'm thinking Al Pacino. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. Too funny.

As the OG, purgatory dude. Right. Oliver Reed is in there somewhere. Well, we wish. I know. Al could still do it. Yeah. Not so much, Alvar Ried.

No. This is the strangest conversation I've had with anybody in a long time. It's riveting. I keep telling people, club random is not like the other podcast, and they just won't listen to me. I mean, I don't know what I have to do. I'm doing it. No, it's great. It's great.

Getting high and talking to somebody I like. Oh, thank you, Bill. And I just don't ever want to, like, have an agenda. it's like it would be as ridiculous for me to do this show with an agenda, which, again, the other shows do, and that's fine. That's what we watched on TV for 70 years, talk shows. You have a card, you have questions. But it's like if I went out to dinner with you, which I would love to sometimes,

like if I showed up with a card. Before we order, Carrie, I understand that your new project is. That's hilarious. But actually, you know what I mean? What is your new project? Maybe we should be plugging something. Stranger Things? No.

Are you plugging that? Been there, done that. But I did work with somebody I worked with. Dead Man's Wire. We want to plug that. And Day, come up going to bring. I'm a professional too. Not just a pothead.

Although I'm going to have a pot. Okay. Great. Yeah, it's actually Bill Scarsgaard is the lead. He plays this guy called Tony Crenzis. He's great. So he's the son of... Stellan.

The best. The best. I was at the Golden Globe Sunday. And when he won, I was like, fuck, I have a chance. This woke town, I can't believe they nominated me. I can't believe that. It's hilarious. But if they gave one to Kellyn Scarsgarz.

Stellen, yeah. Stellen, even he won it. And then a kid, the kid from the British show, the genius show that on Netflix, Adolescence. Yeah, great. He's amazing. He's amazing. Skellin and they gave it to a kid? Anybody could win this thing.

And then I didn't. Anyway, so it's called Dead Man's Wires, directed by Gus and Zand, who you had on the show. Yeah. And it's based on a true story about a kidnapping that took place in Indianapolis in 1977. And Bill plays this guy, real story, which I didn't even know about.

I didn't either. Bill plays this guy called Tony Carritzis, who believes that his mortgage broker has screwed him over. So he decides to take Madison to his own hands and kidnaps his broker and holds him hostage in a police standoff for 63 hours and ends up airing all his grievances on live TV. I mean, it's a very apropos movie,

even though it's about the 70s for an era that we live in now, where income inequality is such a big issue when people are fed up with, you know, I mean, what is the big issue? Now they call it now affordability. That's the new word. Right. Which, I mean, it was always a word and it was always valid,

but right now it's like the thing, affordability, and just people having the idea that everybody is ripping us off and somehow like half the country can afford Taylor Swift tickets and, you know, half the country is working three jobs. Right. So in that atmosphere, you know, this thing that happened in the 70s, very timely. Very timely.

You know. Very timely. So I thought it really resonated. Oh, you saw it? Yeah. Oh, cool. Of course. Yeah, it's very much like a 70s film.

Gus wanted to shoot it like Dog Day Afternoon and French Connection, and you wanted to give it that gritty feel to it. So it's really a film. It's not a movie. It's more like cinema. And it was, we're very proud of it. Al Pacino was in it. He plays the guy who's the owner of the mortgage broker.

That must have been a nice full circle. It was. It was a nice Easter egg for me, definitely. No, but like, you didn't have any scenes together? No, but I came and I went to, yeah, when I showed up when he worked. But did, and you reminded him of what happened so many? I don't have to.

I mean, you know, Al's a very important part of my life. It's like, you know. So you kept up from that point on? Of course. Change my life. Change my life. No, I thought it may have just been. No, changed it.

Changed it. Yeah, I know that, but then maybe you did. No, I'm not that kind of flyby. night kind of guy like, gee, thanks to Al. I see you when I see you. You know, you know, when someone like that

kind of, as you say, cures your leprosy. Yeah, but if Bob Dylan did it for you, I mean, like, I just don't good luck trying to reach Bob Dylan. That's what I'm saying. You know. Could have been one of those situations. Could have been. Like, I don't see Bob like sending Christmas cards.

No, but I just, like I said, As you said earlier, he's a very generous person by nature. Yeah. He doesn't. He must be very proud of you. He's like he created this thing and you went on to like all the success. And that's a nice show business.

I mean, he is one of my heroes. Yeah. Like I said, I grew up watching his work. I remember seeing Dog Day afternoon when I was a kid. And I became obsessed with Sidney Lamat, but also with him. But I mean, he did that. He did Serpico. He does Godfather and then, you know, Scarface.

I mean, after each one, it's like no net. You know, it's incredible. No, that's a part Lawrence Olivier could have done. Because it's operatic. It calls for over the top. That's what makes it great. You can take me here there. It doesn't matter.

Say hello to the... There's nothing you couldn't do to me that Castro has not already done. Say hello to the bad. God. Remember that? Yes. That'd be a funny sketch. Yeah, it would be very funny, Olivia.

But it is, it's over the top, and it's supposed to be over the top. It's Brian DePaul. Right. And it's... Al stays in character. He's very much a guy who stays in. That's part of his training. And so he is that guy on and off camera.

But the resonance that movie has, have had with succeeding generations. I mean, I saw a stripper with a tattoo of Scarface on her leg. You sure was her leg? I'm not sure it was a stripper. No, yes, I mean, kids of all ages, they look up to scarf. I don't know if that's a good thing. No, you go down to South Beach today, you know, which is where all of that shooting scenes took place.

right it's it's like you can't recognize it today you know I watch people getting searched for weapons going into restaurants I'm like okay this is definitely Miami Beach has definitely changed over the years you go there a lot no I was shooting a series there oh I see I like Miami I love it I couldn't live there no it's like Vegas with the beach right yeah it's too much it's too much now it's too much well too much for us yeah you know if you're 20 I guess right But it's, it's, I love it, there's a, great vibe to it, great energy, different.

I love all the food, I love all the culture, I love all of that. But the late night stuff is, it's a lot. There's a city in America that's not an American city. Right, right. I mean, I wouldn't, I don't know if. I mean, they will look at you cross if you, if you speak English instead of Spanish.

Right. It's like, hello. I think that's what makes it interesting, is that you have, you know, people from Colombia, from Puerto Rico, I went to see, right? From every Spanish-speaking place in the world. No, really. No, it's true.

And they all have different. Well, it just gives the city a different feel, which is a good feel if you like La D'Alte de Vita. You know, I mean, there's just a certain, I don't know, joie de vivre in, you know, Carnival. You know, there's things that go on in the southern hemisphere that don't go on with cold whiteies. Sure. You know?

Yeah. And it's nice to have a place like that that has that vibe. It really is. It really is. But it is, you know, it is for 24-hour party people. It certainly is that. And I'm not that person. No, no.

So I need to get a room high in the hotel so I don't hear the nightclub thumping all night on the second floor. That's that, you know what I mean? Exactly. I got a 4 a.m. call time. Right. You know, that's just about when it starts up. And kids? Do you have kids that are with you?

I do. We have one daughter. Yeah. Yes. I try to always bring my family with me, Bill. You do? Try to, yeah. It makes me feel more relaxed, actually, to have them around.

Yeah, well, it's family. I mean, if you have one, you must have. I'm all about my family. Really? All about my family. And were you always that way, like, before you had a family wanting that? Yeah. Really?

Because, you know... How old were you when you got married? Oh, God. We've been together over 30 years. But here's the deal. I knew that the life of an actor is sort of a vacabon. You live out of a suitcase. You go, you know, pack up, and you have to be ready to split

at a moment's notice. And oftentimes you're away from home for long periods of time, yeah? And I knew that if I had a family, I always wanted one, that I didn't want to be that dad who wasn't there. and missed the play or the recital or the hockey game or the birthday. You can't see the recital on the road. No, I'm saying, that's what I'm saying.

If I, if they weren't in school, right, and I happen to be working, otherwise I would fly home and be with them every weekend if I could. Really? Oh yeah. From anywhere. Anywhere. Well, not in Thailand.

Right. Right, right. Anywhere. Of course. But yeah, I would either make sure I could be home to be with them on a weekend, because then I would, you know, hopefully I can catch a late night flight on a Sunday and be ready for work on Monday. But if the kids out of school, then all bets are off and they come with me and that's it. Yeah.

I guess I just don't understand children never having had them. Right. It's the greatest thing. But I certainly have known enough human beings to know that I'm in the minority. It's okay. It's totally okay. Oh, I'm not apologizing for it. Yeah. I'm just saying it is, so interesting humans to me that we can be so different. Like to me, nothing. I've said this before, like people say, if you have a kid, you love it. I would be the first person to look in the basket and go,

still nothing. That's hilarious. I just, I don't think it's just, I didn't like them when I was a kid. Right, right. But I certainly recognize that the majority of humanity has this level of love and devotion, and I'll do anything.

Yeah. that I just, you know, it's just not in my DNA. No, sure. And who knows? Maybe, you know, I'll get to purgatory and I'll take me aside and hit me to a lot of stuff and I'll find out, wow, your big sin was you'd never had the love that you feel when you have a child. And so you have to be here in purgatory. When you get that, then maybe we'll send you off to heaven.

I'm making this up. But it is a love that I just don't understand. And I know how real it is because I see how it manifests. How does it manifest? I'm going home every weekend. That's reality to me. Like you can bullshit me, not you particularly, but anybody can bullshit.

Anybody can say anything, actions speak. People do things like that. They just do things. Yeah. Do. That I respect that I think is real. Thank you. When you do something.

Thank you. And they just, but the idea that I would have to juggle my life and these squalling mulling rats who want every minute of my attention and are giving me nothing back. That's hilarious. Except their cuteness or whatever. It's this future belief. It's hilarious. Which always makes me think of Nikki Glazer's great line.

We love kids, but why? It's just going to grow up to be some guy named Doug. Isn't that the greatest joke? That's excellent. Who said that? Nikki Glazer. Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah.

That's very funny. It is. No, she's the best production I'll ever do. How old? She's 18. Oh, grown. You know, she blew the budget for wardrobe and hair within the first 10 years. But the dailies look great, Bill.

Dailys look great. Does she have to always deal with people asking about her famous father? You know, she's actually very cool about it because she got bit by the bug and she wants to act. And she said, I don't want to be. a regular nepo baby. I want to go, where did you study? I told her. I said, I studied at the Lee Straussberg Institute.

She said, did they have a school here in L.A.? I go, I think they do. She went an audition. She got in at 11 and started learning the method. Then she got bored of that after a couple of years, and she said, I want to learn improv. I said, you know, I'm just getting warmed up to improv myself. And she goes, I'm not going to wait that long, dad.

And she went off and joined the groundlings. Oh, wow. As good as you can do with improv. She's great. She's a good kid, very smart, got a good head on her shoulders. I feel like improv is a great training. As far as me wanting to watch it actually itself, never. It always looked like a magic trick to me,

like, okay, where's the there there? I get it, it's fast. But doesn't mean it's great. Sometimes. But the people who are trained in it go on to be, I mean, all the cast of SNL, who then go on to be all our comic movie stars, for good reason. They do it the best. Phil Hartman.

Will Ferrell, Kristen Wigg, I mean, Tina Feck, and go on for... I mean, the factory that places have been for terrific comic actors. Amazing. You know, I mean, people think the movie business is a bunch of bullshit. Yeah, it is. They also, like, are basically putting out the best product we have. Why? Because that's what will make the money. You know?

100%. I mean... And hopefully, if you do something... I'm a fan of movies. I'm not a fan of like the shitty write-ups they get from critics. Like, fuck you. You know, like just, you know, why are you doing this as a job if you don't like movies? I know, I start reading reviews a long time ago.

I can watch, if I happen to be at the premiere, which I often am asked to do, I'm my own worst critic. I'll watch that. see all my mistakes and go, oh, God, really? Because they did it after lunch. They had gotten to you at 9 a.m. That's hilarious. You'd be like this in the great.

That is hilarious, yeah. Should have been before lunch. It was the meatballs in the spaghetti. No, but it's all of it. I can only see my mistakes. So that's why I can't watch myself after one time. That's it. I see it and it's done.

So I don't need to read some guy who, you know, first of all, he feels like his review is valid. by giving away the entire plot for a page. Like, that's a review, right? Anyway. Okay, the trailer's going to do that before he gets to it. Right, but I mean, they think that that, oh, it can take up some space

by telling the entire story of the movie. You know, that doesn't bother me. Like when people say spoiler alert, I always say, go ahead. No, but some of them don't. Anyway, my point being is that kids don't really read reviews anyway. They get word of mouth. People don't.

No, no, but, yeah, on the whole. What are we on the subway, reading USA Today in 1995? No, who's reading reviews of movies? I mean, rotten tomatoes. That's what people go by. And we don't go by a review of it. It's just a number.

Well, the great reviewers of old, right? Susan Sontag or Kenneth Tynan, right? Didn't review movies. No, but well, Kenneth did theater, but Sontag was one of the great reviewers of all time. Of movies? Yeah. I don't remember that.

Yeah. But she was an intellectual, and she understood Pauline Kale. Pulling Kyle. Excuse me, I mean. Cale, you could be right. Cale, I thought it was a vegetable.

Anyway, but she was amazing. Amazing. Yeah, she was, right, but she reviewed movies. I don't remember that about Susan. Maybe I could be wrong about Susan. Maybe she just wrote film theory. But anyway, you're right. Pauline understood film.

There were some who did. Who really got it. Yeah. And, you know, I think a lot of it now, just becomes the reviewer. Sure. Showing off, flexing. Look at, look at, okay, it's one thing to say,

this is not my cup of tea, this movie. But to use three columns to basically show how clever you are with language to shit on this movie a hundred times. I mean, it's like, I get it. It's more about you. But I thought critics were really there to service the reader.

Yeah. Service the reader. I'm just looking, for you because I didn't see the movie. Right. And I feel like they used to do that. They did. I would read a review of like, you know, Stallone's latest.

And I'd be like, you know what? Not my cup of tea, but if you like a kick-ass movie, it's actually good for this and this and this. And that's, you know, because I do sometimes just want to watch a kick-ass movie. It's damn straight. No, it's true. No, you're right. It's tough.

I think it's tough for critics now, I think. You're right. A lot of people really. What about a John Wick-like franchise for you? What do you think? You like kicking up. I'm open the game to anything. Really?

Well, we're in reason. Yeah, go on. A erudite British guy kicking ass might be a good new way to go with that. Might be. Because usually, you know, it's some, not that he's a Neanderthal, but a big hulking guy like Liam Neasen. Right. You know, I mean. Keanu is great, by the way.

Yeah. He's a terrific actor and a lovely human being, just terrific. And he's great in that franchise. Just amazing. I like him. I can't watch any movies that are 90% just guys killing. It's just, I know.

If it has a good plot to it, I would definitely, or a good character development, then that would interest me. It stretches the bounds of credulity so far. Right. I mean, I remember when it was a big thing, when the hero could, like, defeat, like, three guys coming at him.

Right, right. But 300? Yeah, no, it gets to be. I can't. I just can't. I understand suspension of belief. For sure. I don't think about the ghosts and Hamlet.

No one could kick Rambo's ass, right? He killed anybody who got in his way. Yes. Right. So it's more than three. You know, the ghosts in Hamlet. Right. Do I really believe in ghosts?

No. No. I'm okay with it. Yeah. But not 300 ghosts. That's hilarious. Hilarious. Hamlet done you'll re-hound for them.

It's hilarious. I mean, come on, man. Yeah. No, it's a lot. It's a lot. I think that audiences are, I think. But good for him. He, listen, like I said, Keanu has made that,

turned that franchise into something phenomenal. And he's a wonderful actor, wonderful. Well, well, I'm happy for him because it gives him now the freedom to do meaningful work. Yeah. You know, I think that's the point, too. I mean, you, if you. I mean, if you.

He met him. He seems like a sweet guy. Terrific guy. If he ever said to me, you know, John Wick, I feel, is very profound. I'd be like, oh, well, I'm sorry, I can't like you as much. But I don't think he would say that. No. I think he would say it's entertainment. People want to be entertained.

This is what their taste is. Now, can you go after him for glorifying violence? Yes. Yes. I remember doing an editorial on my show after the Uvaldi thing and saying, well, you know, guns. Is that part of the equation? Of course. But let's not pretend

that Hollywood glorifying guns, and we showed montages of people looking slow motion so cool firing guns endlessly. Let's not pretend that going into the minds of kids at a rate of, I mean, they have stats on this, like 10,000 images a year or something. Let's not forget that that's also a big part of the... Video games, you know.

Yes. They have a lot. It's a big part of the equation. It is. It is. Well, violence is somehow part of the culture. But again, like I was saying before, realism in the 30s and 40s when you got shot, no blood, no gore.

Right. You know, it was just indicating this is what happens to you when you commit adultery. Right. Or whatever it was that they were, remember the production code? Sure. Sure. The Hayes code. The Hayes code, right.

Hayes was the guy. He was the guy. He was the censor. But yeah, no, I think our industry has made a lot of money out of people grabbing a weapon and getting rid of the bad guys. It's the supermensch versus the, right? And so people, for better, I can't judge people, but people like to see that. I personally can't watch too much violence. By the way, let me preface that by saying,

unless it services the story and the character. Yeah. If it's not gratuitous, I'm okay with it. I wouldn't take a frame out of Goodfellas. Right, not one. Or Clockwork Orange. No, not one. You know, violence is a big part of life.

And by the way, Puberk, when that movie came out, kids were going around dressing up as the characters from Clockwork and going around and beating people up. And he pulled the film. Wow. He pulled it. Really?

He pulled it saying, I don't want my film to be responsible for anyone being harmed. And I thought that showed enormous character on his part. No, by Pauline. I don't. You cannot give in to that. You cannot say. It was the front page of the papers bill where people were being. I don't care if it's a 10-point headline on the front page of the papers.

It's the principle of the thing. Yes, idiots and borderline people will use art and depictions as a reason to commit heinous crimes. We can't cancel art for that reason. No, I get it. I think it was more than one. Clockwork orange should not have canceled one showing. That is not the answer to that, in my view. No, I hear you.

I think that I think it was more than one incident. So I think there was a feeling of like maybe this is catching on. I could be wrong. Look, I get what you're saying. If you're talking about a direct incitement, yes. And that is prescribed by the First Amendment. I mean, we don't have absolute free speech. You can't do that.

You can't famously fire in a crowded theater. And you can't incite people to riot that directly. I mean, England had a Muslim preacher who was basically calling for the overthrow of the government. And they put up with a throw. while on one of, oh no, maybe that was the guy that Obama killed with a drone. I forget his name. How do we get to this? Chardry.

Chaudry. He was, and they eventually said, no, you're going to jail. Right. I mean, you are just, you are directly inciting people. Clockwork Orange isn't directly inciting people. Look, you're talking about one of my favorite movies. Okay. No, I'm, I consider Kubrick like one of the great filming.

Yeah, we're not. He felt. He felt that somehow it was sparking some... Well, I'd like to dig him up and yell at him. Yeah, no, I mean, he then re-released it obviously. What did you think of eyes wide shut his last? I think it was brilliant. To me, it was like a fever dream.

You know? Okay. See, lots of people don't like it. Yeah. I do. Right. Even though some of it is nutty. Some of it is like, are you kidding me?

No, yeah. No, for real. But it never bores me. Never boring. You can never accuse. The first half hour is like a whole different movie. Then the fever dreams starts. But the first half hour is probably the best depiction of a relationship, certainly a serious relationship, marriage relationship, since Virginia Woolf.

No question about it. It's Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise, where they were really married. Yeah. And it's a half hour of them. They're at a party. They're married, but she's dancing with this guy, this older guy who's trying to fuck her, and he's getting attention from young girls, and they go home. And she wants to pick a fight about it, and he wants to get laid.

He's horny, and she's just in the fight. And it's just the things that she taunts him with, and it's great. And then the fever dreams starts, and then it's, it is weird. It's weird. And it ends with something that is, either Stanley was, I mean, he was near his demise. Yeah. Either he was going nuts or we were, but, you know, the whole orgy thing. Yeah.

And then the way they kind of wrap it up by bringing in Sidney Pollock. Right. Right. Because, you know, he kept them captive there, Nicole and Tom. For like two years. Two years, yeah. It was supposed to be like an eight-month shoot. And what are you going to do?

It's Stanley Kubrick. And you're the bleeds? Yeah, no, he's never boring. They're never boring. They're always entertaining. They're always different. I mean, the thing is about Stanley is that his... So different.

His movies were events, right? Because he only made one a year, even if that... No, not close to that. Not even close to that. Like every four years or something like that, right? They were events. And you heard about it, you read about it. Like, I would follow the people.

Periodical, yeah, go on. And one had nothing to do with the other? None. I mean, 2001 of Space Odyssey is nothing like Barry Lyndon? No, and Barry Lyndon, when it came along, I saw that in 70mm when it came out. And it was immense, just immense. And he had done all this. 2001.

No, no. Barry Lyndon. Beautiful. Beautiful movie. Beautiful movie. But beautiful film. And he had wanted to make Napoleon, a movie about Napoleon's life. and MGM, who just made a fortune of him with 2001,

bought the rights to a film called Waterloo with Rod Steiger, directed by Sergei Bundacchuk. And the film, you know, Bundychuk had done great with War and Peace, right? And then he put out this film with Stiger as Napoleon, and it bombed. And MGM came to Stanley Kubrick and said, yeah, we did this behind your back, we're sorry, but we bought this film and it didn't do any business. So all bets.

And they actually turned him down. He would have made the greatest. I've read the script. It's amazing. Napoleon film about Napoleon's life. Well, they just did it. No, I know. Not good.

No. Anyway. Was that? Was that? That wasn't Kubrick's script. Anyway, but the point I'm trying to make is that is that he then took all that research, right, that he'd done for Napoleon and shifted it onto Barry Lyndon, right? All of all of the ideas that he had from that time period, because he was going to do

the whole life story of Napoleon. He just took that segment, right, of Thackeray and used all the research he had. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Yeah, I don't think it was a popular movie. It's a little slow, but so is 2001, you know. They're fine wines, but they're to be sipped, not gulped. Yeah, that's not my thing.

No? I'm not, like... Do you like Pazzo Glory? I'm glad I said, yes, great. Great movie. That's old school. Old school. That's before the Stanley Kubrick, I'll do whatever the fuck I want.

I mean, I think Lolita is great. I think Dr. Strangelove is great. I think full metal jacket. Brilliant. It's great. I love eyes wide shot, even though it's weird. What am I leaving out? The Shining.

Again, there are parts that are like, wow, you know, he tests your patients as just like a, normal kind of audience sometimes. But you can't look away. You're never bored. That's not true. I have been bored. I mean, absolutely, that is exactly what I am during a lot of 2001, is bored.

I'm watching this wheel in space. It takes like 10 minutes and I'm hearing, and I'm hearing, and then say, okay, I get it. It's hilarious. So like, please, no, but you know, he's Stanley Kubrick and it's, and not all of it. And not all of them. And, I mean, there's not a minute where I'm bored during Dr. Strangelow. I mean, it's just one funny skit after.

I recommend if when they're rebuilding the Cinerama Dump now, and they have 70-millimeter prints of all the great Kubrick films and other directors, if and when they reopen it, which I'm praying they do, it's a great theater. Go see 2001 as it was meant to be seen in Cinerama. It's 70 millimeter. I'm telling you, you'll have a different opinion of it. If I was 50 years younger, I still wouldn't do it. Really?

No, it's just... It's not your scene? It's bad enough. I had to watch it at home while I was in the bathtub doing 10 other things. It was still boring. I am not going to go... You know what you'd have to do to get me to see that? What?

You'd have to put the things from Clockwork Arrig on my eyes. That's hilarious. I remember Clockwork Orange with the guy with the... Another genius movie that... that doesn't bore for one second, Clockwork Orange. Not one second. But the amazing thing about him is that every movie is like from a completely different universe. Completely different director, it seems.

A completely different director, right. Talk about not repeating yourself. Never. Talk about artists. Wow. Amazing. Stanley Kubrick. Absolutely amazing. Yeah, yeah.

Fucker. We are just like playing in this universe, which is boring. No, I grew up with that. As a kid, though, that when I first saw my first Stanley Kubrick film, I was like, okay, this guy is a true artist and really understands the language of cinema. What movies have you seen lately that you're crazy about? Well, I loved, um, I loved one battle after another.

I think Paul Thomas has a wonderful director. I really do. Yeah. I love sinners. I liked it. Ryan Cougler is a phenomenal filmmaker. I liked it. I'm never crazy about vampires.

No, me neither. But somehow, they drew me more as just a straight-up movie about that era, that road house. Right. But I get it, I'm 70, and that's not what they want vampires, and they like mixing those genres. And it had its reasons to do that. And it was a great movie.

But yeah, that would be my taste. I mean, I love straight up historical stuff. I mean, look about my body of work. It's mainly, history was my thing at school. Oh, me too. So I thought. What period were you most interested in? Gosh.

So funny enough, in England, you had to learn both British history and American history. So we had to study this American Civil War, a revolutionary war, all the way up to World War. which was pretty up to D-Day, which was pretty cool actually. So for me, I was like getting the best of both.

That's what made me fascinated by it, right? And so for me, it was like every class that I took was like I'm receiving this information about one of my favorite sayings, I can't pronounce his last name properly, George Santayah, I think it is. He says, those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And I believe that. And so I ended up studying history for that reason and being fascinated by it because we do. We keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

So what's your favorite period? My favorite period is I'm fascinated by World War II. I'm fascinated by let's see, I'm fascinated by the American Civil War. I'm fascinated by that. I'm fascinated. In British history, I would say all the wars wore over the rose. right I was fascinated by Charles I was fascinated by Charles I being having being removed from power and having his head cut off it's fascinated by French history the revolution I let all of that you know I was trying to tell somebody recently about a period of history like they were asking about Queen Elizabeth I said well the first Queen Elizabeth that's after which

we know the Elizabethan era is named okay rained for a long time yes and was the time that Shakespeare was writing we're talking about the second half of the 16th century. She becomes queen in 1558, defeats the Spanish Armada in 1588, which if she hadn't done that, we would be in a very different world because that was Protestant England

against Catholic Spain and France. And dies in 1603. You know your stuff, man. This is great. I'm a history major. Wow. Were you a major? Yeah.

And she was the daughter of Henry VIII. Right. Of course. Okay. So who became king after, and she was known as the Virgin Queen? I know. Well, you say that like, I wish I fucked her. You have a look in your eye.

Don't forget, she didn't bathe a lot. Back then, she had ladies waiting. That's why she couldn't get late. Well, I mean, that's why she's wearing. And she smelled so bad that nobody still wanted a fucker? Listen, hygiene, personal hygiene back then. Yeah. It's not a thing.

Okay, but other people got over it. She must not have been cute. I mean, come on. I don't know. Well, somebody was fucking... Wasn't there. We weren't there. We weren't there.

We were there. We was definitely interested. He got pretty close to it. We don't know what happened there. Right. I think he explored. He explored. It's good.

It's good, Bill. It's good. It's very good. That's very good. And then, of course, you had James I'm fascinated by that whole thing. He's a Scottish king who doesn't even speak English. Okay, but here's what I've forgotten. Can't enter in my own mind.

One. Okay, so she dies in 1603, the Virgin Queen. Yes. Who took over? Who was the king in 1603? Now, you mentioned... I just told you. Who? James.

James. Yeah. So how did he get the job? Because he was Mary Queen of Scott's son. Okay. Mary's Queen of... We'll be back with more history. No, that's great.

The history major of Bill Maher. So Mary Queen of Scott was Elizabeth's rival for the throne. Yes. Right? And she is Catholic. You know your stuff, man. She's Catholic. I'm impressed.

Oh, yes. There's a great scene where Elizabeth is the first year and she's in the castle and the Catholics are marching on the castle. They wanted England to be Catholic again. And they have all these big, what they call tapers, giant candles. The church loves candles. I remember this when I was a kid. Me too.

And Elizabeth goes to the window and then says to the garden, away with these candles, we see very well. That's a good line. We could put it in three kings in the pool. Away with these candles. We see very well. It's very good. What made you fascinated by history?

People. It's people. It's so much more interesting than fucking chemicals. Sure. Or rocks. Me too. Or chemistry. Yeah.

None of that. You know, like it's stories. Your stories. It's storytelling. It's the movies. Yeah, it is the movies. It was like the movies for me. Movies have taken a lot.

A lot from, you know, saving Private Ryan is a real story. and they made it into a movie. You know, I mean, your movie is one of the many, many, many, many movies where they show the movie and the credits, they show what the real people that the movie is based look like. And that's when you go, wow, Hollywood's really full of shit. Real people are a lot uglier. That's funny.

That's funny. Well. No, I love that you love history. I didn't have it back yet. That's really interesting. Where did you study? I love that you knew that answer. So James.

James. And then his son is the one that cut his head off in 1649. Charles. And then the restoration is 1660. I believe so. Cromwell took over. Cromwell took over. Who was very much not a party animal.

Right. Well, he didn't believe in the divine right of kings. Right? What an asshole. Where did he get that idea? Right. So he was like, yeah. Well, that's a good thing.

But, well, he went a little nuts. He created his own new model army and practice it on Irish people, which you should know from your ancestry. Right people. And the fact that he tested them out by wiping out tons of Irish people, I thought that was a little over the top,

in my humble opinion. Remember Braveheart? That was great. It was great. Braveheart's a great movie. Great movie. I mean, Mel Gibson's a great movie maker. He just is.

You know what? Okay, so he gets a little loaded and pops off to the police when he's pulled over. So what? But like, there's a great line in there when Patrick McGowan. Lovely. One of my favorites.

Really? The prisoner, exactly. Oh, my God. Diana Rig. God. Hello. Hello, 12-year-old. That's the Avengers.

The prisoner was where he was a spy who'd been excommunicated. Right. And sent to this desert prison. Right. It was a resort, really. And this big ball came in. was chasing. He came up. It was like a feat. So, it was so ahead of its time. Brilliant. Yes. Absolutely. Okay, but Patrick McGowan, who was in this one,

yeah, the prisoner, right? Correct. Okay. He played King Edward. Yeah. Fighting Braveheart. This is, this is the 14th century and Scotland trying to get their independence and they're having this big battle with the Scottish people or we're going to finally get our independence. We're going to kick the ass of the British. Yeah. And the British are on the hill waiting for the battle to start. And the guy says, to the King Patrick McGowan, should we have the archers fire, sir? Because that's what they used to do, though. That was like the artillery.

You'd fire just in the air, and all the arrows would come down and kill like one out of ten people would be dead before the battle started. And he goes, no, arrows cost a dollar apiece. Send in the Irish. Oh, wow. I forgot that. Send in the Irish.

Canon fodder. They cost nothing. Wow. Arrows are expensive. That's Mel. He knows how to do that. Apocalypse? Just totally apocalyptic. How brilliant.

Brilliant. Brilliant. I had the good luck to tell him in person after I saw that film. Oh, really? What traffic stop? No, it was a full house. I saw it in like Vancouver. And people applauded at the end.

It's a brilliant, brilliant film. Well, it's a chase movie. It is exactly right. It just happens to be set in a set. set in the jungle of Central America. Brilliant. In, I would guess, the late 1400s because it has one of the great endings

because he finally escapes from, and also I love it that it blows the myth off that all primitive peoples were perfect people who were just riding unicorns and singing kumbaya. No, all people were horrible to each other. And the horrible tribe captures this guy from the nice drive. They pursue him the whole movie.

It's great. He finally prevails and gets away from them, gets back to his home and saves his wife, and then he looks out on the ocean, and there's the ships coming in from the new world. So great. Oh. So great.

You can almost hear the, you know, curb your enthusiasm music coming in. He's a remarkable filmmaker, Mel. You think of this as an actor who got to work with great director. as Peter Weir, Dick Donner. And I picked his brain about it. He goes, yeah, Carrie, I picked up on, obviously,

I had the good fortune to work with these great filmmakers, so I would study them and learn what they were doing. I wasn't just there as an act of hire. I thought, okay, one day I want to do this. And, of course, when you're working with phenomenal artists like that, it's bound to rub off. Let's put him in our movie about purgatory. There you go.

Thank you. Thank you. What a joy. All right. What a joy, man. Thank you for having you. I can talk to you all night. For real.

To go back to my real job.