Club Random with Bill Maher - Cedric The Entertainer |Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: July 4, 2022

Bill Maher and Cedric the Entertainer randomly riff on the Kings of Comedy golf tour, how Bill Clinton is a master multi-tasker, which famous people were wrongly canceled, why Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton called Cedric about his role in The Barbershop, the thing that annoys Bill the most at Real Time, how much Bill actually reads, the definition of addiction, and the freedom of saying exactly what you think.

Don't hug me, I have much to talk about. Oh, much to talk about. That's the one. You be like, bro, you be all loved up. But thank you. Yeah. That's for coming here. Very cool.

I know. Got to fuck up today. I appreciate it so much. You do any bill. You know, you got podcasts and shows and people. So you, you're't more chosen anybody. Get the way your shit turned out. I know, right?

Just like. Yeah. You know, I know I was gonna make a committee when I was 10, but you had other careers. Yeah, like, yeah, cause I had that house with the moms and the teachers and shit. And my mom was a school teacher. And so it just was like, yeah the teachers and shit. And you know, my mom's a school teacher, you know, and so it just was like, yeah, it's police.

Please don't mind if I did. Are you drinking? No, I got a very dirty martini radio. Well, I was technically drinking. No, but no, it's actually just green drink. No, I'm not drinking. No, it's just a green juice. Oh, yeah, look at the drink. It's green drink. I know I'm not drinking, no, it's just green juice. Oh, they're looking great.

It's green juice, I'm not, because I hosted this thing last night, it's so fine. Hosted what? So the YWCA phenomenal woman of the year. Then you hosted Oscars of the time, the Emmys. Of the Emmys. His Emmys last, it's last one.

Jesus Christ, and then you'll do this one too, huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no. It was last, it's last one. Jesus Christ. And then you'll do this one too, huh? Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, well, you know, I mean, I'm sure they pay you a lot of money. You both did those before, right? What? You both did one of those, right?

Never. Oh, no. I'm definitely not persona-pron out of the way. Smoked refreshing flavor, huh? No, step up to them. Cool refreshing flavor of... Don't even love getting the networks. Cool.

Yo, give. Clove cigarettes. Cloves, oh, man. You make close-mailed estimates. They ride on your lungs like a velvet pussy. That's nice, man. But you obviously take jobs that you don't need the money. Yeah, you do, you know, you do them for money. That's the cashier, right?

You know, like, you know, a little money of course. But it's not crazy. It's not the life changer money anymore. Right. But it's the kind of thing that you do it like, You know, like, there's a little money, of course. But it's not crazy. It's not the like, changing money anymore. But it's the kind of thing that you do it like, you know, to say that you host the Emmys and it gives it this kind of supposedly is this. No, I'm saying. Yeah. The Emmys I understand. It's the other one. No, the phenomenal woman. That came strictly from a favor. That's like, yeah, That's what I'm asking. Yeah, that one was like that. Oh, the enemies like that. No, that one was, that one was the guy that actually

does my golf tournament was producing this win. And he calls you and goes, hey man, you know, I wanna make it look special. Like you do work a lot. Yeah, you're a little Leno-esque. Yeah, yes, yes. Yeah, and you know, a much rather though, right? You know, like, because what do you do?

You sit around and you, you know, I guess, you know, you kind of, you know, I, I, I, I, I, I rather just be like, going and do something then to sit around and just, right, be talking about the old days and people want to talk about old days. But you have a family, where your kids are grown? No, they, well, they're still really young, but, I mean, but you want to get about O'Day and G. But you have a family. Are your kids a grown? No, they're well, they're still pretty young, but I mean, you want to get away from them.

Yeah, they're kids. It's normal. Yeah, that's what we everybody knows there. That's what we're talking about. I'm like, heavily married, so. Of course. You want to get away. You want to go away from that.

That's what got into golf. For four hours, I got to. You would really ever want to play golf. Yeah, not a play-golf. I do. Oh, you do. I'm actively a big fan of golf. For four hours. I'm gonna read. You wouldn't really ever want to play golf. Yeah, not a big fan of golf. I do. Oh, you do. I'm actively against it. Yeah, I've heard that.

But you know, like all the guys, me, D.L. and George, that's how I little clicked a cheeto. Anthony Anderson, we all got a golf and... Oh, you got a golf and... Yeah, we got Olu. Oh. Click up. We go and hang and go places and shit. Oh So it's like the Kingsham comedy golf club excuse me God

With a sink the comedy play golf is such an excuse Group to be like oh, you know, I was with you know with Anthony and I got to go I got to go it's with you remember Vernon Jordan. Yes Well, that it just to meet him a couple of times. Oh, yeah, and he was Clinton's buddy Yeah, and remember that got into the press that he once said Come to me ask them what do you and Clinton talk about on the golf course because they were always golfing buddies And he said pushy And that's well done.

Yeah, that's well done. Dr. Minnie, really? Yeah. That's history, man. Yeah, that's really, that's really why. And of course, looking back, I'm like, what else would they be talking about? What else would they be talking about?

Bill Clinton, of course, you're talking about, I remember I had a best, I did Michael Jordan's golf tournament one year and when Clint was there. And I did a joke like I did Michael Jordan's golf tournament one year and Clint was there. And I did a joke like right, right about that energy. I said, you know Bill Clinton's here and one of the coolest people in the world. And you know, I don't know if he said this or not, but I could have swore.

He leaned into me and said, it's some bitches in this motherfucker. And he said, it just like killed the room. Like, because that's what you think about what you think of him. Like, this that's what you think about when you think it is like this. I have a great Bill Clinton story. This is the 90s, of course.

He was president and I was, I guess, much more persona grata. Well, the Democratic Party is very different. Right. I was more fully, I wasn't as critical, because they weren't as fucking nuts. That's a lie. Believe me, I didn't change.

What? Yeah. But so I was invited, I'm not a number of times to a Clinton event when he was out on the West Coast. I introduced him a couple of times. So there was something, I think he was, yes, he was going up to Seattle to something called the, like the, oh, it was a WTO meeting,

World Trade Organization. Yeah. Really dull shit, especially in the name of it. Yeah, you know, grain time. What's that with grain time? And we get like, come on man. Bigs, tariffs, shit, all shit. Like the more the boringest shit. Yeah, like, you know, this will let you bring the fucking Kia into our country.

Exactly. Exactly. So this is the 90s when I was a swinging bachelor. So I brought this young lady on. This is a date. I made everything to a date. Oh wow. So I'll take you to meet Bill Clinton at this thing.

So it was about reception, I guess, of fundraisers and shit, some celebrities. I don't know. It's probably about 50 people. And he spoke, or some little remarks, and then there was a line where everybody was going to come by and he stands there, like we've done it. When we do back stage, you know, meet in greets, they call them. Okay, so we're on the line with this beautiful girl, and we get up to there, and she stands on one side of Clinton and I'm on the other side of him and I you know they're taking the picture everybody gets like two

seconds just enough to take the picture and I said to him boy I'm sure glad you're going to represent us at the World Trade Organization because that shit makes my eyes glaze over. That's why I said to him. And he spent the next five minutes looking me in the eye and not lecturing, explaining to me why world trade was important and blah, blah, blah, blah. We get off the line. And I said to the girl, I said, wow, can you believe that? He spent five minutes telling me about trade. Everybody else, he talked to her two seconds. She said, yeah, he was rubbing my back the hard drive. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Yes. Isn't that awesome? You're fucking young. He was rubbing my back the whole time. Will you need to understand why? You got just a little hard to get out of it. You got to admire. That's a nice way.

Just wait, but wait. The fucking skill of a guy to pull that off, like one part of his brain is getting world trade just right. And the other part is grabbing ass. And making it work for him. And making it work. So like, she's not fucking panicking, she's not. No.

It's like, yo, like, you know, you know, I pulled that move off. No. In his, they call it a clip. In his defense, she could have said to me, he grabbed my ass, she did not. And so I know he didn't. Right.

This was a private conversation. Right. All right, that is my defensive bill, Clinton. He just rubs your mask. This is a good thing. He does not grab your ass. It's a nice massage in who doesn't love that. That is something to be said for a person.

Yeah. But it's hard to be said for a person. They used to call him the first black president, remember that? Yeah, because he played the second. Somebody said that. He's a doggie. Somebody said that, like, somebody, and I think it was somebody like an author, like who's the, you know, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the author? Yeah, like, um, Tony Morrison maybe. Okay. Somebody like that, I think, gave him that moniker. But looking back, I feel like that doesn't really age well. Like you wouldn't do it today. No, you wouldn't do that today. Like, you know, like even if you played the saxophone

with a duet ragged, like you was. So what did you think about it at the time? I think it was, you know, again, it was all about like at the time, you say the Democratic Party was different, it was, you know, it was just kind of spirit. What were you just like cool? What would you think? What would you think that that's like how dare you or? No, I mean, it was a degree of coolness about his swagger that would that kind of right that kind of he moated that

No, he added he used to have it. That's what a lot of people don't know and so many people who like used to see I remember seeing Trump in like Miami at a Miami basketball game and he would was like, he's like, Cedric, you can like call me out. Like, you know, you go over, you dabbing up, you know, like he was like fucking like one of the boys. Like he was strong. And you know, you think he changed when he got here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think he changed a bit.

That was probably not. That was the problem. Probably not. And he still had the, that pugnacious, fuck you world attitude and never back down about anything. I mean, you talk about Swagger.

Like, when he got caught saying I grabbed pussy. Yes. And then he made like a bitch- It's a bitch that fired. Like fuck him, baby. And he made like a two-minute hostage video where he went, I'm not a perfect person, you know, you could see him rolling his eyes.

I can't believe I have to say this. I'm not a, never said I was a perfect person. Okay, but can we get on with the campaign? And everybody around him, everybody said, you gotta get out. No one will survive this. And he went, watch me, hold my beard. Yeah, hold my beard, man, for real.

And like I said, the whole shift went to Billy Bush. I was like, why is Billy Bush the bad guy in this room? I didn't understand that, because he did not understand it. He did not understand it. He did go to someone saying something so holy on camera, like this. The woke people moved the goalposts that constantly are doing as to what's in offense. And the goalposts moved from just doing something bad to,

now you can't just beat around. Like, you were somebody in a dorm room in 1985, had a Confederate flag, and you didn't do something about it, you know. You laughed at a Woody Allen movie. You know, like this kind of book. That's very, well, you know. But you know, that's what it's kind of like. No.

You can just just by association. You didn't, you know, they fired the bachelor host. The least important job in the world has to be, right? Well, it's the bachelor, people love it. They're the wife and the end, they're two million. How, couldn't anyone host it? Okay, true. But this guy had to go because he was talking

to one of the contestants who had her wedding at a place that used to be a plantation. Yes, what about Frank, you know, her wedding at a place that used to be a plantation. Yes. What about Frank, you know, that was the one out Franky, man. Well, there's nothing. No, that was the one, right? Yeah.

Out Franky, and they really, they railroad it. And that's something to your point, obviously, you talk about that. So, never see the Democrats stand up to Republicans, you got Matt Gaetz and we got those guys, they don't give us damn man. They're a child molester in Alabama. Look at him. Yes. Look at Wilson.

I'm not recommending. I'm not recommending the Democrats run a child molester. I'm just saying, I guess we're both saying. They can't even get away from pizza gate or so. What was that? But the one about the getting married, I mean, Ryan Reynolds also had to put out a big public apology because they had some, maybe they got married.

I guess they sell these former plantations. Right. As, you know, now it's just a beautiful spot. Oh, right, exactly. I mean, nature didn't... Yeah, exactly. People keep the trees didn't keep the people as slaves and you have to like...

Tree's participated in some cases. Yes, the trees were like... They were culpable. They were arrested. You were in on the deals about that. Unfortunately, yeah. But okay, so like the bachelor dude is fired just because he was interviewing her about it and I don't know what he was supposed to do. Like, go back in time with a time machine

and then slap them in, Julep out of her. I don't know what they, I don't know. I don't know what, I don't know what, I love that it was just slapping the bit, Julie, if I can say it. Hey, I don't know what it was, it was a short to go. But, no man. Because you know, you had that speech in Barbershop.

Yeah. I kind of made you put you on another level. It was the only time, you know, the only time I, you know, I'm not very controversial like you know, and you were like evil, you know, with my on another level. It was the only time, you know, I'm not very controversial, like, you know, and you were like, you know, with my comedy or anything, that was a very, that's when you become news, right? Explosion. Yeah, you become news. And it was a car viral, that's so true.

But it would have been. Oh, it would have been viral. It was in its era. Because I was getting phone calls, like, like, Jesse Jackson called my house. Right. I was getting phone calls like, like, Jesse Jackson called my house. Now, Sean didn't call me. Like, it was like, it was like, you had to deal with it. Yeah, you had to deal with the elite, like, of black culture because of this.

What were they scolding you? Well, I mean, no one he really scolded, like, like, to me, like, Jesse Jackson was like, just saying, like, he was saying that, you know, I thought it was the most interesting thing was that, when you say these kind of things, they'll just take that one excerpt. And you know, into a kid in New Zealand.

It's a character, right? It's a character. And I understand it, but again, you understand it. Yeah, but they don't. I was like, you know, it was a character that was very believable. Like you believe what he said.

And so you kind of, because my character is exactly exactly and that was my point. It's the barber shop right if you're not in the barber shop being that guy right we not doing a authentic movie like that is a guy in there that's holy not owned them fucking book with everybody. Other than anything else it identified the movie with its appropriate thing.

Exactly. And and sort of theme. Exactly. And so it branded that were, you know, barber shop with that idea of, I mean, right behind you is that sign that says politically incorrect. Oh yeah. You know, that was a term. Was that a new term, did you?

Oh yeah. We went to court because somebody else wanted to use it. So I know it was a novel term at the time because it was a court case, which we lost, but I remember, yes, it's you. But you know, barbershop is very similar in that tone. Like can't there be one place and then real time? You know, I'm always trying to get the realist

conversation that people have in the green room after the show. The thing I hate to hear the most is somebody says something great two minutes after the show ends. Right. A million times I've wanted to say, why didn't you fucking say that on the show? You know what happens those to your point is like everything everything now is you know clipped, using one little dose to either make that narrative one way or the other, right? And you, I mean, you have to deal with that all the time because you say bold statements and if I take a little bit of out of context, it can be even more egregious at any given

time, right? But that's the bad part of it. The good part of it is the little clip, even if it's misleading, gets anyone who has, you know, half a brain to maybe look at the whole thing. Hopefully. Hopefully people just really, they're really doing it right. They never know what they think they know already.

I'm not saying the majority. Yeah. But I'm not going after the majority. Okay. I gave up on them a long time ago. Okay, well, you know, I mean, let's see, but that'm not going after the majority. Okay. I gave up on them a long time ago You know, I mean, I put that but that never been mainstream But that my an audience getting so much bigger now the idea that people will just take the information that they already Believe that they want to know

Right, they don't they don't want to hear a real answer They just accept what I already believe I think I know. That's the biggest problem on the graph. That graph is gotten bigger. That what? That gap of people that that's like that in the world. What do people are so into their own silos of like this is what I believe and so this is what I watch and it reinforces it.

You know what I believe, and so this is what I watch, and it reinforces it, you know. I mean, it used to just be, and again, to the point of I didn't change, used to just be Fox that did that. I used to endlessly make fun of Fox and still do, by the way, if they leave that part out, when they show me on Fox. The part where I'm actually shitting on them,

but, you know, because they're in a bubble, and you don't hear, you know, if they did not air the January 6 hearings. It all. Right, it you know, because they're in a bubble. And you don't hear, you know, like they did not air the January 6th hearing. It all. Right. It's like, if it doesn't fit our narrative, you can't even hear about. How? And now MSNBC does their version of that. That's my problem. Right.

It's, now what they're, it's, they're not as bad because they're not as virulent and what they believe is closer to what I believe, but I still don't like that. Don't shut me out of hearing the full story. Don't make me hear whatever you're saying. I always am saying to myself, yeah, but I know there's another side of this that you're not telling me. Always. Which pisses me off when I find out, I'm going to hate you when I find out, because I'm going, you know, you could have told me that.

And what if you haven't seen the whole story, but you didn't. And now I do know, and I fucking think you're an asshole for it. Let me back to you, Chris. No. Do you read as much as people think you do? No. No. No. No. The bitch is gone. I'm not married. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I read, but like, you know, I read, like, it's amazing how much you can get from,

yeah, I do read a lot, I guess, during the week, but. Buckloof? I'd never watch Buckloof here. I don't watch any cable news anymore. I mean, I used to love my Brian Williams. I know what you're saying. Two boomer white guys. Right, we, we, that's right, too.

Yes, thank you. I used to sell them. I said, it's like watching Carrie Grant do the news. You know, he does have swag. He's from New Jersey. Yeah, yeah, he's got swag. Oh, I'm glad you, certain things that you, that you like about people.

That's what, that's what we like kind of, get fired by. At the same time, but like always being so on point. Yeah. You know, never slipped off that edge of like offending anybody, but he was still rye and witty. Great words with great words. Yes, and never ever unlike so many journalists today.

And I use that term loosely, especially in television. No likes, no ums, no yinnoes. I mean, there are professional CNN reporters, and they cannot get through a sentence without saying, you know, twice. Wow. I can see that of the person who was just in a tornado who you're interviewing.

I can see why they can't speak fucking English. But you're supposed to be the fucking host in this thing. Oh, yeah. Take your next vacation and get rid of the you nose, you know? Maybe they hit the wheat. Yeah. That'll make you, that'll make you know, and quite a bit like. So this is your first time smoking, son?

No. It won't, it won't stay in the fun. No, how old were you when you first were introduced to club cigarettes? Clothes, I don't know, probably, I don't say it was. I would say probably like 16, 17, but I don't think I really smoked a ton to college. Me too.

Yeah. I didn't start until 19, and I'm glad. Because I'm glad I was not stoned in my adolescence when I was, like, ideas were bad enough. Without pot, I can only imagine what that does. But also, you know, my lungs, I'm glad my lungs were like more fully developed before I started shrubbing toxins.

Sure. But sure, after I started, it's the love of my life. Did you ever like to stop or just chill, like at any given time, like for a long period of time? No, that is an interesting question because it's been something that's crossed my mind a zillion times, because I'm always thinking that would be great to give it up for a month. And I'm someone who does fast. I give up food for five days. And when I do a fast, of course, I have to give up pot because it would make me fucking get the months. Sure, not easy.

It's hard enough to do without it. Yeah, not alone, just like. But, and I don't miss it when I'm on a fast because I don't expect, I use it. It's not an addiction, I know that sounds like it. But I've had, because I've been able to control it for 40 years, but it's not because it doesn't like, I know what an addiction is. I was a smoker, I did Coke, a year or two. Like an addiction is something that calls you

and scratches at you and says, do me now, it's the boss. That has never been the boss. I don't even think about it unless I want to use it for a specific purpose. Right. In this case, talking to you. Sure, which is great.

Yeah. Because like, I save it, see, I justifies my reasoning. Right. Right. Right. I know low-gra art is justifies my reasoning No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no signal wire. Remember all of those classic sci-fi shows like the Jetsons and Star Trek, they presented a picture of the future where technology would make unprecedented communications experience as possible like Captain Kirk facing off with Khan from the bridge of the Enterprise. Well, it's 2022, the future is here, but our current tech is a pretty far cry from that idyllic version of what real-time communications could be.

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Text random to 511-511. Certain exclusions may apply. You may receive up to one additional text. Text fees may apply. Text stop to opt out. You know what? I've never been an everyday smoker. I do not do it every day.

I really do it situationally. I save it for when I want to do it for something I really want to do, which is either work. Or like talk to somebody I really want to talk to. And drinking, I'm even more sparing on these days. True. But like, there are plenty of nights where I am completely sober and that's good because it makes this more special when I do it.

That's what I say in California, you know, people walk up and get you weed. You know, everybody had a brain. You got a brain? You should have a bill, Martin. You know, I know that you don't want to do it. Like as a... Well, I just got involved in a dispensary. Okay. Woody Harrelson is the major owner and he brought me in as a partner called the Woods.

Okay. I had recommended highly. It's on Santa Monica, a little east of La Sienica. It's unlike any pot dispenser I've ever seen. It's beautiful. East of La Sienica. Yeah, like right on Santa Monica, the woods. It's fantastic.

Okay. Tell them Bill's saying, okay, okay, okay, okay. How do you, so the way you get, like I even bought weed in New York, because you're right, people give me weed. Yeah, that's it. Like a fool I don't test it, and I smoke it,

and it could be rat poison, but you know, I trust my fans. Yeah, trust them, right? Yeah, I'm gonna come to weed. Although if they're gonna get us, that would be a good way. Yeah, well, sure. It is a bit, it's one of the more social,

it always has been one of the more, just socially kind of, I mean, like, past the joint, think about that in a party, not just, it was that. It was a very, he enjoyed, buddy. Yeah, this is, I don't know. Well, COVID changed that. You know, if we're wearing masks, it's like a little weird to be smoking joints together. Yeah, exactly. And I told you I have monkey pox.

Yeah. But, you have to sell that. But, you know, yeah, they could get you through a gift. I mean, that's what a Trojan horse is. You know, somebody could like spike something and give it to you. I mean, I don't think I'd eat something if he gave it to him.

But nobody's out to get you, you're beloved. Yeah, and then, you know, and I actually operate in that space. You know, I think you too, in my appeal. Lots of people hate me. Well, but I've had the FBI in my dressing room more than once, warning me about some group that was out to get me. God, dear, let's fuck up. What is that like?

It's better than hemorrhoids surgery, you know, because it's not actually happening, but it's not, you know, it doesn't, you know. You know, look, I mean, I'm perfectly happy with having to endorse some of that for the trade-off of being able to say always exactly what I think. And not some pretty-d dumb version of what I think. That's worth, that's priceless. Remember that commercial? Fucking priceless. Yeah.

You know. Yeah, I guess we were talking about that, you know, like this was the thing that came, I guess, for comedians when Chappelle hit that one note. No, that one note. When he hit that one note and it became the conversation, right? They're trying to. Yeah, and it became the conversation for, you know, how free can you be to say what it is that you wanna say.

And of course, if people got deals with networks and those networks don't wanna deal with the pressure, then they may ask you to, you know, the HBO net's never asked you to try to. H.G.R. has been great. Yeah. And you know, the whole HBO, they'll never ask you to try to. They should have been great. Yeah. And you know, I wouldn't say that if it wasn't true. Of course not.

No, I mean, some people, you know, I mean, Letterman made a career of bitching about the net worth he was on. Yeah. And I always thought, I mean, and I'm a fan, but I always thought that doesn't really ring true because they're paying you incredible salary. I don't feel like they're actually censoring you. It just seemed like a contrived

thing. Like I'm against the man. And it's like I don't do contrives. And if I really felt that way about a network, I'd get off it. You know, ABC was never bothered me either. Until they fired me. That was a bother. What was that? I forgot that was. It was about 9-11. Oh, yeah.

I was against it. No. But no, we were all against it. Yeah, it was for it. Yeah, just the people were. Yeah, so people couldn't leave it to it. Yeah, it was for it. Yeah, just the people were. Yeah, so people couldn't leave it to them. Oh, of course. But, no, but HBO's been fantastic.

Yeah, that's good. But that's their brand. You see, it's the culture that they started. A lot of networks have imitated now, but their culture was always, we pick people we trust. We leave them alone to do the job they do. We're not those network note looking over your shoulder types. Here's notes.

Sometimes they've had spectacular failures. Yes, good. That's what artists do. They sometimes fail. John from Cincinnati didn't work. Okay. And then they had 11 others that did. To.

You know, because the secret is trusting good people. You know, they once asked John Houston, what is your secret to directing? And he said, I drew most of my directing in the casting process. Yeah. You know, pick the good people. Yeah.

And let them do their best. It's a small way of thinking about it too. You know, so you've like found this lame man, and you've never really tried to do like movies or you can't do other projects. I did my one movie. You're a director. A director.

Yeah, yeah, really. Yeah, I mean, but that was hardly like starting a movie career. I wanted to do one movie, a documentary comedy, and we pulled it off. I thought, I'm pretty sure I was directed. But I never, people to this day say, why don't you do a sequel? It's like, no, I wanted to make one statement. I did. We did it well. Let's get off the stage. No, no, no, no, that's right. I mean, and I've, you know, I learned, well, fairly recently, like my mind works in a way

of like very straight and linear. Like I'm good at telling you exactly what I think straight ahead. So like when I tried to write screenplays, I couldn't do it. Yeah. Because it's like eight different characters. I'm not eight different characters.

I'm one guy, and this is how I think it is. That's what I it. Yeah. Because it's like eight different characters. I'm not eight different characters. I'm one guy and this is how I think. And that is. That's what I do. Right. And if you're lucky enough to do one thing well in show business, take your victory, and don't try to fucking do a jazz album. Ah!

Damn it, I'm gonna be studio. What? I'm gonna studio right now, now I was like, oh, yeah. Are you doing a jazz album? Oh, Jesus. Let me finish. Yeah. Yeah.

Let me finish. Oh, no. Don't do it. There it is. About after midnight. Oh. Oh, it's fucking funny. But what is your musical?

I do, man. Like I like right songs, shit, like, like, like that. The only thing that's kind of jazzing shit, but it's just shit that being your head, man. Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm terrible, I was like, I'm like, man, fuck it.

No, it's fucking what you know. Oh, I mean, that's just the creative aspect of a person, right? Well, I know, so, you know. A lot of musicians paint. Yeah. And paint fairly well. Like Dylan paints and Paul McCartney paints and Miles Davis paints. Yeah. Like there's a lot of, and they're not bad at it. Others, I'm not mentioning, and I sure don't get letters, but, but I'm happy with just, yeah. I mean, mean first of all stand up. I never gave that up

No, yeah, that's great. You go hard to man. We were talking about that Chris and I like you go Hey, man, like you you you you you go you do some dates man. Oh, yeah Well, yeah, I work it. Yeah, yeah, definitely a definitely a business I still love to go to here. Do you do? It varies. I mean, it's usually you vary, you know, it's usually around 50 something easily about that. That's a lot considering you also doing a series. Exactly. And then, you know, yeah, take all these other jobs. Yeah, they're favorite. You know, you're just kind. It's just like they're fixing some kids bike I'm fixing some kids' bike. Yeah. Here I retell the story about I put my chain back on. I'm showing all the kids.

Come on, man. Re-bikes on the deck. But 50 Taches. That's a perfect amount. I think that's where I'm like about now, also. Did you do more? Did you used to go harder? Yeah, a little more.

I don't think I was never Leno. Yeah. I remember when we, now, when I first started, Leno was a little older. And he was like a guy who was like doing a, he was like one rung above Seinfeld and me and all these three young comics. So he was like the guy we would listen to. He literally had a pipe in those days. I swear to God, like fucking Hugh Haffner or Edward on moral with some shit. And he would be puffing on his pipe and giving us advice, you know, and I remember he was very

braggadocious about the fact that he had an agent, he said, who... It gets me a job any day of the year I want to work, which for Jay was every day of the year. And he didn't care about like routing. No. He'd be like, yeah, I'm in Puerto Rico and then I'm over to Maine. And then I got back to these coasts. And he's like, Jay, but he, like the hardest working.

Yeah. In show business. No, I was never that guy. But I think there was times years I did 75. Oh, yeah. Plus the show that's. Yeah, plus the show, yeah. You grind in at that point, right?

But you know. Well, you know, I never had a family. Right, so you didn't have to really. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. God damn it, Jesus. Why me?

Why did I have a family? I love it, you're crazy. It makes me laugh. I wanted to have a family. I love it, you're crazy. It makes me laugh. I want to die my friend. You held it too, that was funny, you was out there. You held it, you like, oh, come on. Oh, you want to be with him with the eyes. No, I'm kidding, man.

No. I mean, you always had this thing too, like, of course, you know, I'd be in, you know, back to the little it though. So yeah, like sexy girls around you. Fucking you. Be a bar, man. You're this shit hot, you know, me like for for the aspiring older guy like, wow, I know. I'm just filing. Yeah. I'm just firing. I Yeah, come on, I was just spiraling. I can't find any other stuff we got to make. Well, now I have had more than one. But we were younger though, too. Yeah, that's what I was younger.

Yeah, that dude, I mean, I mean, look, I was pretty way too. No kids? Never no slip-ups. Not to my knowledge. Yeah, that's it. Because I never liked kids. I never liked them when I was a kid.

Right. It didn't change. The one thing in my life that's like super, you know, most things evolve one way or another. Yeah. You're bald. Right. Whatever.

But that one is like, never liked kids when I was one. Didn't like them in middle age. Don't like them now. And I know they have their value. Yeah. I mean, they assembled my phone. But. But I.

Not that young are we talking to this? Well, I mean, I'm just saying, I know children, you know, there's certain things they can't make because they need their little fingers. I'm sure they have a youth. But I've never ever really had a thing for wanting to be around children. I've never touched a baby.

It's a... You've never like a hildo baby, man. I do not do. I do not dislike children. I just don't want to be, man. I do not do. I do not. I do not dislike children. I just don't want to be around them. I do dislike babies. Do not like babies at all. It's a grisly.

They're disgusting. There's a grisly. They're disgusting. They're just real babies. Oh, they're just all snot and shit. I can't see. Look at it. I can't see.

It's real with you. I got it. That's real, man. I can't see. So it's real with you. I got it. That's real, man. Did you change diapers and do all that? Oh, yeah, man. You did. Yeah, wow. You know, like, you know, my first daughter too, because I didn't mean my first daughter.

I got a daughter that, you know, I got three kids. And so I have a daughter that's 30, just turned 33. I didn't need till she was four. And so, it's a different, you know, like, but then I was married and I had my son and my daughter, my wife, and that's a family, like we in the house together and everything, so there's a whole thing. So, it's got to include it.

I'm going to fuck off if it's just too personal, but can I ask you why you didn't meet until she was born? No, it was a whole thing where our mother was marrying a guy and made him think that there was his baby. Oh. Oh, this is a lifetime of a real serious dog. This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog.

This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog. This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog. This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog. This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog. This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog. This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog. This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog. This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog. This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog. This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog. This is a fucking lifetime of a real serious dog. He had the baby in Germany. He was in the military. He was in the military. You see, he convinces God that that was his child. Have you ever noticed that there's a real thing between Germans and Black?

Like what? Like an attraction. Like an awful lot of German women. Well, that's the day in the military. That's the thing about that, like those guys. Well, I mean, you know, you can't argue that like the German girls are very, you know, they have strong bodies, sexy bodies, you know, they can, they have that. What kind of thing?

Well, I mean, like, but all that Eastern block kind of, you know, those girls are very, they're attractive to Black men. You see it. I think it works the other way, too. I think there's some same things. You know what I think it is? Nature wants us to mate with people who are most unlike us because that ensures, right. That's interesting, too.

You know, what you don't want is to fuck your cousin. Right, sure. Hence the royal family. Mm-hmm. Oh, right. Yeah. That does not create good bloodlines, you know. They're a patria.

Yeah. You know, in the old school Egyptians, I think we're marrying their brothers and sisters. Yeah. You know, that is not good scientifically. Yeah. What is good is people who, this is not my cousin. Right.

Or very distant. We're all cousins. Right. We are all cousins. Right, but yeah, in this circle stands, right. Yeah. And so the procreation, you know, Well, I'm not attracted to redheads at all.

And my mother says when I was a infant, I was a redhead. Yeah. It could be my cousin. That's what my DNA is telling me. It's already, it's really. Don't fuck this, Jack, she could be your cousin. You want to fuck your cousin? No, wait.

And a couple of times I'm like, what can I do? But, you know, Yeah, you never, I take it, you didn't like Game of Thrones. There's some beautiful redheads on Game of Thrones. What you like redheads? I mean, I find all women attractive.

My mother was a redhead though, so. Is that right? Yeah, so, you know, and I, so I find that attractive to you because I thought the old mom was beautiful. Yeah. Did you date a full spectrum when you were single? Oh, yeah, for sure. Women of all ratio.

Yeah, like just how would you compare them? What women? No, yes, like, like, do a five minute hunk on it. White girl to this, like, to this. This is really what I'm saying. You're on, you're on that Byron Allen genre. Oh, what's that show he does it to the whole New York comics a lot, right?

Yeah, yeah. Boy, he did well for himself. That's not the Byron Allen genre. Yeah, yeah. He makes a lot of money. Yeah. Boy, he did well for himself. That's not even the only way. Fire down? Yeah, man. Like, is a billionaire. Yeah, man. Owns like, what was he trying to buy into something huge?

I know he owns the Weather Channel. Yeah, he has a Weather Channel. I'm impressed. I remember when we were starting, we were like comics who started at the same time. Yeah. Like, I would cross paths with him on those brick wall comedy. Should we be all dead?

Well, we'll be first started. Evening at the improv, live at the comedy bar. Oh, yeah, the comedy bar. He's just doing your normal setting from a brick wall and somebody had a camera. That was it. And it was like the biggest thing. Oh, to get certain cities. Did you go through that phase? Oh, yeah, man. Because I Oh, you ought to get to get certain cities.

Did you go through that phase? Oh, yeah, man. Because I started, you know, I'm starting to say Louis. So the Midwest was that, you know, the funny bones. They had all those gloves all throughout, you know. I worked it. And the funny bones. Yeah, they were hip-hop.

Yeah, so that was. The strip club was across the river. Yeah. And another. Yeah, Illinois, that was trip club was across the river. Yeah, oh yeah another I heard That one I don't know I overheard the lemon But yeah, just as a tip I'm saying yeah, no, you gotta go across go across the bridge Yeah, you gotta go across the bridge. He's better. He go. It's loser Have a good time.

Again, just information. Yeah, that's what we're trying to do here. It's give people valuable information. So you worked at the clubs, worked clubs, yeah. So did the clubs and then, you know, the deaf gems stuff came along right around that same time. So I started like 87 and then, so then, you know, it was TV shows, it was like a show time in the Apollo,

you can get a hit. Of course those, those evening at the improvs, those were like, for the big guy, they were like for Leno and stuff like that, you know, even in the improv and those kind of TV shows at that time. You must have had years when you were like, damn, I think I could actually do this.

I'm funny, but like, am I crazy? Like, should I go for it and give up like a normal life? Would I, am I gonna make a fool of myself? And then you just were like, no, why not me? Yeah. Is that, have I? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm encapsulated your entire thinking.

That's so good. This is what you just thought. Now, we'll be right back at this. Yeah, I think that's all right., yeah, yeah. I'm glad you waited your entire thinking. That's so good. Slightly used to. Well, we'll be right back. Yeah, I think that's all right. Come on, guys. I think I nailed it. You guys, let me we'll be right back. I think I nailed it.

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speaks to the people who brought this story to the screen. Like the show, the podcast focuses on the rampant corruption and abuse within Baltimore's criminal justice system. Watkins is joined by a variety of guests, including executive producers George Pelicanos and David Simon of The Wire, actors John Bernfall and Wunmi Musako, as well as notable figures whose stories inspired the series. You can listen to the We Own This City podcast on HBO Max and on all major podcast platforms. But I mean for the most part, you know,

because my mother was an educator and a teacher, I really just kind of, I didn't even think about entertainment as a job, so I didn't learn that I could do this to late. And once I learned I can do it. I became focused and very good. How did you learn that? Because a guy that was a comedian, he was a guy who was a comedian and he would say things. He was like, can I use what you just said? He was like, I love it. He was in there and he was

telling me that how he was getting paid. He was like, I would go out and do these shows. I got 1100 this week. I got 1400. I'm like, doing what? He's like I'm a comedian. I was like, what? Like a job. Like I was like, oh.

Yeah. So he put me on a, he put, he signed me up to a comedy show. Like a- Is it a right material? Yeah, like I just, I had no, well, I didn't know I was doing right material. It was just stuff I would do. Like he helped me doing bright material. It was just stuff I would do like He helped me shape that like it was just things I would do because you know, I've been I was you said in conversation

Yeah, like I was in groups and I be say that's how I always work Yeah, some some comics were like no you've got to get up in the morning and get a yellow pad and write down And I was like I can't do it that way the way I do it is I get stoned We talk great funny things come up, I remember them. Yeah, and then write up to it. Nah, that's great, man. That when I was, like in that era, that early era, like early 80s,

I would always have like a little tape recorder in my pocket. You know, there was like, remember those mini tapes? Oh, yeah. Of that era. Oh, yeah, those lows in. And like, I would tape all my stand-up sets. Sometimes I would also like just put it on. Like, so I could remember shit that we were saying in conversation.

Yeah. No, man. I spent a lot of hours listening back to tapes, which I never wanted to do. Did you have a lot of them? I do. I have stuff like that, but I don't have it filed properly or, you know, where I know where it all is, like it's one of those things. No, I've got to probably find some tapes of me doing a set at Uncle

Fudster's Jockelhut in 1986 and I would be afraid to listen. That's just a real great or I don't know. Maybe make it a part of this podcast like just find them and just like fucking the evolution of Bill like just like every 90 just act like fucking the evolution of Bill. Like just like every night, it just introduced one of those pieces for no reason. I mean, I'd be, no, I kind of like, I let it sit. When I look back, even I mean,

it's amazing how like recently you can look back and go, oh, I'm glad I'm not doing that anymore. Right. So I'd hate to look back 30 years. I think it would just be cringey. Yeah. I mean, you know, you are the product of whatever age you are. You can't, you can't be, I've spent too many years

or not years, but times in my life beating myself up for like, why didn't you know this sooner? Because I didn't. Because I'm just not that bright. Hey. I'm. Right. You're getting the argument here, brother.

Right. You know, I came to it when I came to it. Yes, would have been better if I thought of it when I was 42 instead of 54. Yes, but I didn't. I'm just not that good. Get over it. So you doubly know, like some people measure comedy

by the how wealthy the person is, like is that a part of your psyche, like you don't even sit? Here's what I would say about that. In show business, generally, the cream rises to the top, the very cream. Like the very best people who are like in-door over decades, you know, especially in something like film director. Sure. You don't get to be, you know, a 30-year career

without being really dope. Right. Yeah. You know, I mean, there's a reason why Spielberg and Spike Lee and people are really cool brick. And you know, they, it's stay there day. You know, yeah. anyone in show business can have like a good little run. Sure. You know, you can just, you get some sort of novelty or whatever, you know, I mean, the guy who's saying, I mean, the Korean dude. Yeah, the Golden Star. Yeah.

Gang. Gang. I don't know. Why was it the biggest fucking, you know, like, that dude was huge, man. That dude was showing that a real... He was showing that a real... Worldwide.

Anyone can be gang of style for you. Wow. Or have a few good years. But generally, the cream rises. But there's also, you know, comedy, especially, no accounting for taste. I mean, some people just like stuff that I think is pure shit. And you can't argue with someone since a humor.

We have no idea what causes it or creates. Some of it is what's in your mind intellect. But I mean, it's not just that very smart people can like things which I think are putrifying. And you get a two-and-a-two with another comedian? Get it, too. Like, like, like, another comedian, like, just, like, didn't rock with you, like, just boldly didn't, you know, like, you guys beef, like, you would, you know, like anybody else.

When we were young, there was always fudes going on. Yeah, that's what's so big. It's like, among the things that are so nice about being older is like, you just drop stupidities like that. Like, I don't fear. I'd be feuding with you. Right. For some other comic, you know, like,

oh, I'm not talking to him because it's like, it's just like, what was in my body? I mean, what was doing that? But, yes, that went in our 20s, that went on a lot. Yeah, a lot. And then we just outgrow it. And the people who we loved, we kept and forgave and forgot. And other people, we didn't keep up with.

But no. No, I mean, like I said, when you have like as many, you know, opinionated people, especially during that Trump era, when people became really polarized in their, in their groupings, right? Like, so would be your friends, family members, like you like, oh, like, what the fuck are you saying, right? Like, the dumbest shit I've ever heard you say, don't say, talk to me. That's the really good Spike Lee movie that it did for Netflix, about the five,

you know, they were Vietnam vets. Oh, yeah. I can't remember. Oh, yeah, with Del Rey Lindo and the least famous for doing it dance. And what is the reason? And one of them is a Trumper. Oh, yeah.

And it's like that, and that actually tracks about 20% of black men voted for Trump. So if you had five friends, one of them would be a Trumper. And that's okay, by the way, first of all, that's okay. We are allowed to have different opinions about but how much you disagree with them? What? No, that's a joke. Yeah, right? Sure, but.

Don't you think? Right, yeah. Well, there's still a deviant though, man. Yes, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not obvious, do you not. I'm not a fan. Okay, all right.

I think I've made that clear in his time. Yeah, no doubt. But I'm just saying what I always say is you can hate Trump. You can't hate the people who hate him, who like him. Sure. You can't hate the people who like him because it's half the country. And it's people you're just saying about family. It's people in your family.

You can't explain sense as a humor and you can't explain politics a lot of the time. People are reached by different things and have different views than you and have different things that have shaped them up until this moment. I mean, to me, one of the left's big problems is their way to judgmental, way to insistent on see it my way exactly the one true opinion or else, or you are banished, or you are a nonperson. And it's like, that doesn't work in this country,

or any country, but especially this one, where people kind of pride themselves on free thinking and coming to their own conclusions. And yeah, I don't agree with a lot of those conclusions, but, you know, it's better than the alternative of what we were saying before, people in their silos, not even hearing the other side. No, that's the real deal, man. People just don't, they don't even have to listen to the other side.

No, they don't. And it's okay. Right. And it's like everything I want to hear. Right. Well, that's always what I'm trying to do on my show. Yeah. I have the other side there, or me bringing it up. You do, man. Yeah, right. And you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, I've never seen anybody really be the best of me. Well, you can be anything except a liar to me. Like if you bullshit me, I don't care who you are. If you're in the president of the United States,

I will call you out on it. Not in a hopefully mean way or a disrespectful way, but I will answer the question. Or yes, or stop gaslighting me. Right. Like you and I both know this is not true. So it's not advancing the conversation, and I'm here to advance a conversation for people who want to have some real talk.

And if you're not going to participate that way, then I'm going to get a little fed up with you. Which is not what you're supposed to do as a host, but fuck it. I invented this fucking show, and I'll do it the way I want to do it I'm waiting for the like there's a rule book. I wrote the rule book. That's my rule Yeah, you better don't fucking lie to me. No, that's don't don't Say things, you know it's like Michael Corleone in the Godfather when you lie to me

It insults my intelligence and makes me very angry. Yes. You like the Godfather? No, I love the Godfather. You do? It's pretty fucking great, right? It's like, it's one of the go-to's, man. And especially when those bullies,

whenever it's only you turn, you just stay. Exactly. You just stay. It's just stay. Right. As many times you've ever seen me, it's like, I don't even think it's no pressure. You realize, like, it's no pressure. You realize like it's no

pressure to see anything else other than this scene that's about to come up. Right. And then I mean it now I'm like watching this shit. Yeah. Because you know ultimately it is about it's not really a crime story. It's a family story. Do you like water too better? I know they're both amazing, but... Well, I liked them both equally, but probably if I had to pick one, two. Okay. I also love three, and most people don't. Those people all enjoy three, too. It's just different.

But yeah. It's a little different. It also, like, I don't think people notice that so many of the scenes were deliberate echoes of something in one, two. Yes, yes. That, to me, was like, you know, quoting Shakespeare And so many of the scenes were deliberate echoes of something in one or two. That to me was like, you know, quoting Shakespeare or something. I mean, referring, I thought it was very literary.

I mean, people objected because, and I watched it recently when they kind of introduced the extended version. And I remember the big criticism was he cast his daughter. Right. And that she was somehow horrible actress. I watched it. That's horrible. She's not horrible. And she's like very sexy at that age. You know, she's like very in a very real innocent way. Yeah. That, you know, a 30 year old cousin would probably fall for his somewhat inappropriately aged, but undeniably sexy, a 17-year-old, you know. I find her performance very affecting, and the whole movie, I mean, it's a little operatic

at the end. It's literally at an opera. It's a bit of a stretch when Michael takes K back. Because that was so not, you know, like once you're out, and he kills his own brother. Spoiler alert. Right, but he does. He kills his, so like the idea that he would mellow so much that he would like take his wife back, but it's also

like go with it because anything that happened in life, the heart wants what it wants. He did love her truly. They have kids together. So, you know, so I killed my brother and my sister's husband. We all have flaws. That's a great performance. That's seen because of that, when you know, you know, he killed Fredo in two, right? And you, so in three for him to, when the Al Pacino really realized, like, maybe he was crying about it. I killed him up, and he said that.

I killed him up, but the son, that was one of those moments where you like, yeah, that's a performance man. Cause you recognize it without even ever living it. You was like, I think it's three. I love the, I'm the plot line of three. I think it's so clever because they traded on the true story in the news that in 1978,

Pope, somebody John died, a new Pope took over, and he died in a month, which was a little suspicious. So they wove that into the plotline, that the mafia killed him, because he was going to block their being there. Something something something something. Right, yeah, right, right. And, you know, the idea to present the church as a worse kind of mafia than the mafia was kind of brilliant. I like that. Kind of brilliant. And using that real Pope that died after a month,

I thought it was pretty good. We'd love to give it another chance, man. Let's give God, come on, guys. Let's give Godfather three another chance. Yeah, let's go back to you guys. Reanalazic. That's true. When we're both 90, we will do a film review show like Remember, Iberit, just going over.

This is going to be an event. We can be those, that's all they'll give us at 90. Oh, yeah. That's the only thing you can sit right here. And we can do it right here. It'll be the end. We can be those, that's all they'll give us at 90. Oh yeah. That's the only way you can sit right here. And we can do it right here. It'd be so easy. Because like this talk, like Leno does, you bet your life. Oh yeah.

You know, he's not the kind of guy. I mean, they, I've said this before, but they put him out to pasture for committing the crime of being number one twice. Right. They fired him. But he wasn't like, oh, I'm not going away. Maybe I'm not on your network, but I'm doing this and that's,

and I feel like that's how you stay young. That's it, you just like. You just like, as you clamor on to those jobs and you make yourself a part of that as this is your only life, like really for him, you know, he always like to do multiple things. So, you know, I think it makes, you know,

if he made a gang of money. Yes, well, he never spent any of these. He has a story that he never spent his tonight's your money. He has 200 cars and a giant garage with Santa Monica. I think he spent some of it. Him, Burbank. But he goes out of works every... But I can bet.

That's the guy that's the money, that's... The guy that I met in 1980s. Well, I'm going to... Yeah! Gonna do the Virgin Islands, and then I'm up in the Seattle, and then we're back in Rhode Island, and I'm in Phoenix. I got to Detroit, and you know, it like, he just, that's who he is. He wants to work every fucking day.

Oh, yeah. And that's, you know, I don't wanna be that guy. No, that's like, but that's, you know, he's got an Iron J, he's the character, really him. You know, but my point is, like, don't let them tell you when you're done. Right. You know.

And don't be too proud to like, you hit the top of the mountain. Okay, well, you know, you don't have to just jump off the mountain. But, you know, if you're a little down on the other side of the mountain, you're still on the mountain. Do you think about retiring? No.

I'm just saying, but at some point they will put me out to pasture. They did it to Johnny Carson. And they did, you know, if they did it to him, they'll do it to everybody. But you know, don't be so proud that you can't like go down the other side of the mountain. Slowly. Right. You know, I don't be so proud that you can't go down the other side of the mountain. Slowly. Right. You know, I don't even know this one. But like, there was a moment, I think it was like the late 80s when the bottom fell out

of the Vegas showroom. Oh, yeah. Like, everybody was making like $200,000 a week. Yeah. Dina Ross was making $450,000 a week. China Ross was making 450,000. But even like Shecky Green was making 175. And then Vegas was going through like the original Vegas crowd, the Rat Pack crowd, all died.

Glowin. So that's like, they had an reinvented themselves as the current Vegas. So like, they were just not losing a lot of money and they cut everybody like crazy. And Cheki Green I remember saying I can understand getting a pay cut. He went from 175 to 25. And he said, but what happened to 150? 125. 100. 75. You know, can't we go down gradually? And I feel like that's what you kind of have to do at some point in your career.

You know, like look at actors who get older. You got to tell, you're not the lead anymore. Your Ben Stiller's dad now. Okay, don't be so fucking proud. At some point you're going gonna get detective work on CBS. And then you're really gonna wanna blow your brain top. But at least you're fucking working. You're working, no.

That's the, that's a job you aspire to to be that one sergeant that fucking captain, you bitch, what else? That's me. I definitely gotta be a fucking sergeant on a cool ass CSI show. Exactly. You know what? Thompson, get in here. Yeah, exactly. Nailed it, CSI show. Exactly. You know what? Thompson, get in here.

Yeah, exactly. Nailed it. Sudreck. Thompson. My office. Exactly. That's right. If that's in our future.

Hey, man. It's as opposed to being in the coal mine. You're doing great. You're enjoying some of the greats. Right? You're enjoying some of the greats that have done that. join some of the greats that they've done then. Exactly. That role has been handled by so many great actors that they handled that little spot.

You know what? It's funny. Less moon, Vash? Yeah. I'm sure you're familiar. Yeah, but it used to be. I'm sure you've worked for them. I'm sure many people have.

He was the head of CBS, did an amazing job of building that over. He had a little me too scattle and went away. Okay, but I used to see him out and you know, we were very friendly and I used to call him the teaser that he was the vulture of BlackRock. BlackRock being the, of course, the CBS building in New York, they call it BlackRock. Okay. That's what the building looks like. Oh, the, yeah., the CBS building in New York, they call it Black Rock. That's what the building looks like. Oh, the, yeah.

The famous CBS building, yeah. The CBS building, yeah. Black Rock. Yeah. And I called him the Boltrer Black Rock because he had a genius for, like, identifying what movie stars had just passed their peak, and weren't getting the good roles in movies anymore, and he could put them in a series.

So he would just like swoop over. Okay, Gary Seneet. Ha! What is talented him? And get out. Okay, here you are. You're making 60 grand of it. Yes. Guaranteed, 35 weeks a year.

Relax. Exactly. You don't have to do all that traveling. Right. Exactly. And he would just find that person, right, actor, that, and, you know, grab them. Yeah. And that's show business, you know.

We're all just, we're lucky to begin with. Yeah. And then, you know, just be a little humble about it. I think is the best. If some kid came up to me and said, you know, what advice would you give me? Jump into this Mr. Moore. I'd say, push her off, I'm busy.

No, I'd say, be humble. You know, I've seen people like self-immolate because they miscalculated when they could start acting like an asshole. Oh for sure. That's time that's common place, buddy That happens out of here quite a bit. And to be sure you can act like an asshole. Yeah, but many people have gotten away with it, but you got a weight But until you have that. Yeah. Juice, right? Right. Even then, like it's got to be, you know, depending on who you are, you're right. There's a lot of people out here known as assholes and are very big stars. And people go like that person and that's all. And then, you know, you're right.

There's people definitely overshot the runway too soon. Right, if you got a number one show, you can probably pull off some dicky things. I'm not saying you should, you should. But you can get away with it. You know, if you sleep late on the morning of the up fronts, when you were supposed to like kiss the ass of the sponsors, and you still have the number one show,

they're not gonna fire you, they're fucking hate you for it, but they're not gonna fire you for it. But if you pull that kind of shit and you're marginal, like you said, perfectly. You miss shot the runway. Yeah, shit. Wait till you make it. you act like an asshole. That's what I would tell the kid.

It comes up to me and says, Mr. Mar, what is your advice and show business? Wait till you make it before you act like an asshole kid. That's, and I don't like kids. So just know I'll do your stuff. But I would be really helping them. Man, it's love, man. I got somebody waiting for me at the house.

All right. I owe you so much for coming in and doing this for me. I know you need it like a hole in the head. As Don Rickles used to say, you're a big star. And yet you came to Club random. So, man, it was forever in your debt. That's lovely. You don't need anything in life.

But if you did, you could come here to Club random and you could ask me and it would be my honor whatever it is. I know you don't need anything. No, I got to, well you know what we were talking about. I got a thing called fan room. You should do one, that would be dope. So it was like a meet, it's a virtual meet and greet.

You were right here. You set it up, we know that your virtual meat and Greek and well you'll be there I can't be but you're not normally now normally I just pop on to like I'll pop on and virtually from my house but you know yeah like we've done whatever you want from me to be fun man alright good good all right that'd be great can I wear that hat? if you ever want to hit me?

I've ever worn a hat yes I feel like it looked That would be great. Can I wear that hat? If you ever want to have me? I've ever wanted to have, yes. I feel like it looked dooshy on me. Yeah, well, you know. I think I've got to have come to a good idea. I need to look, see, you look super appropriate. Yeah, it's cool. It's like my old day, man. Yeah, me, I just, you know.

Yeah, you still like nice hair, man, which is great. I know, but that's good, because I couldn't pull up being bald either. Oh, man. Thank you. Yeah, man. All right. Now we gotta go. Ah! That was a good shit, man. I was doing it.

Did you? Yeah, but I love the fuck out of it. It's dope, man. I was just fucking vibed up. Yes. That's what I thought. Well, yeah, well, that was good. That's what it's dope man, we're just fucking vibe down. Yes, that's what I thought. Wow. Yeah, that's what it's good.

That's what it's supposed to be right.