Club Random with Bill Maher - Cheryl Hines | Club Random with Bill Maher
Episode Date: November 10, 2025In this unforgettable episode of Club Random, Bill Maher sits down with Cheryl Hines for a funny and unpredictable chat about politics, marriage, sex, science, and self-awareness. Cheryl opens up abou...t life with Robert F. Kennedy Jr. — from their late-night TV habits to living under scrutiny in a world gone click-crazy. They trade sharp takes on pandemic policy, natural immunity, Big Pharma, and D.C. politics, before veering into lighter territory with Bill’s dislike of red, Cheryl’s leather pants, Priscilla Presley hair, and that persistent “sock” rumor. Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: https://billmaher.substack.com Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: https://bit.ly/ClubRandom Support our Advertisers: Head to https://www.squarespace.com/CLUBRANDOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code CLUBRANDOM. Find the right person for the role! Try ZipRecruiter for free at https://www.ziprecruiter.com/random Go to https://www.radioactivemedia.com or text RANDOM to 511511 Buy Club Random Merch: https://clubrandom.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it. For advertising opportunities please email: PodcastPartnerships@Studio71us.com ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Oh, yeah, I'm just going to say this to you.
Because it's just the two of us in this.
No one's listening.
I just wish Bobby could stop saying the things I can't defend.
You know what I mean?
Do you have something in mind?
And Cheryl, I know is here.
Hi.
Don't get up.
Okay, I won't get up.
I'm all pending.
The door are you from here.
You look awesome.
How are you?
I'm good.
I look, I try to find Halloween colors because, oh, it's right before Halloween.
Oh, your book, in October your book already.
Well, we get right to the plug.
Yeah.
Unscripted.
Okay, we will get to it.
I'll just hold it up the whole show in front of my face.
Thank you.
But I did, this is the closest, I don't have any orange clothing.
Well, I think orange would be too much.
I think it's always too much as clothing.
Orange?
Orange.
Orange, I do not like red on women.
You don't?
And I've had a number of women over the years.
Try to oppress you with red.
Well, they, I feel like men are like a bull.
Yeah.
And, you know, if you wear...
It attracts, it attracts.
Like blood red lingerie, such a turnoff to me.
I did not know that.
Well, why would you?
Well, we've never talked about it until now.
But I'm glad to know.
I'm glad to know.
But that's odd, because I wonder if...
Because lingerie stores, it's mostly...
black and red
no
well no
there's like
powder blue
you know I like those
kind of pastel
something soothing
right
is that what I'm saying
to even out my
your intensity
exactly
no I don't know
that's why
but I just like
you know
I don't like
thick
loud clothes on women
like I don't like
leather or oh i'm wearing leather awkward no no i mean it looks great on you backtrack okay thank you
no i just sort of like but like a like a like a synonym type of a no you like that no i'm just
someone who like i might be like touching during the night oh you know like you're right of
this in the middle of the night it's just it's just too it's too thick you know like you can't
you want to feel somebody the woman you want to feel the woman you want to feel the woman
Right. You understand that. I get you. I totally get you. I know you do. And I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad to be here. I've been dying to talk to you. I feel like we have a lot to talk about.
We certainly could. We certainly could. We have a lot in common, I think. And, you know, you gave me a great subject about a year ago to talk about what they attacked.
you and I was more than happy.
I really appreciate that.
It was a labor.
I really appreciated that.
A labor of love.
I mentioned it in my book.
Oh, great.
Yeah.
Oh, that's fantastic.
The book, are you talking about unscripted by Cheryl Hines?
Yeah.
Wow, you really held up well.
You look fantastic.
Thank you.
Both in person and on the cover.
And on the cover.
Yeah, you look just the same as in the cover.
Thank you.
It's on the book.
And that has to be.
Something.
And we live in an age of.
you know the least of it I'm talking about filters and you know yeah and then you see
somewhat a person you're like whoa whoa the things that young girls I know find they must
find attractive because I know you know not too recently but not crazily long ago I remember
some girl I knew and she was on the younger side and would send me
pictures of herself that were like,
I'm like, wow, you think this is
attracting me? That you look like
a fucking science project?
Oh, just like two.
Yeah, like, it can't.
I don't think it's something she actually did
to herself, although I don't really, I don't remember
I didn't know her very well, but
I think it was just more like the filter
or like whatever, but whatever it is,
it was like obviously. It didn't look like a real person.
Right. By the time it gets to.
Yeah, and obviously, I'm thinking, obviously
you think this is attractive.
Yeah. But you would like to see a poor or a...
I like you see a human.
Yeah, that's fair.
You know, and women are beautiful.
We don't need to like...
I mean, and they do it so young.
I know.
It is...
Sad, right?
And I think it is because of social media, right?
I don't know. You have a kid around that age?
Yeah, I have a 21-year-old daughter.
Oh.
Yeah.
21 is an interesting age.
for women yeah I feel yeah I know many at that age I bet you do yeah no over the
years I'm saying I'm not saying right now you're yeah I'm not I'm not saying
anything but I'm not pinning but but it was like when I feel like women have a
brief period when they're wild you know girls just want to have fun remember
that song yeah that's true but
It ends, like, fairly quickly.
Like, by the time they're 25.
They know what's up.
They know what's up.
And it's like, ah, I got better things to do.
Right.
And I'm not experimenting anymore.
Yeah.
And I'm, you know, and I'm maybe thinking about, you know, the one and suddenly.
You know, it's like, they get to be a mature person and adult by 25, a woman.
Whereas a man is a boy until...
Could be till he dies.
Who wouldn't know better than you?
With that, I'll take a sip.
No, I'm just saying you, there's some men in your life who are,
I mean, Bobby was here, I love him.
Yeah, he loves you.
I hope so.
He does.
You know, I've done my jokes.
I know.
I've also done a lot of things in support that most people have not.
That's true.
You know, I think he has some amazingly good ideas and he's gutsy, like I, like I, like,
almost nobody else is as far as like I will lose my family yeah for what I
believe in yeah I will lose friends I said to him when he was here I said I don't
think your father would agree with you on everything you're saying but I think
he'd be very proud of you for the way you stand up for what you believe in I agree
yeah and I and you know one of the points I made and the thing I did about you
was that you know she made it plain that she doesn't agree with everything
that's got to be enough
when you're in a marriage.
I know.
It was, I mean, it continues to be
sometimes, but
yeah, a lot of people
are just mad that I'm
married to Bobby.
They're just mad, Cheryl.
They're just mad. People are just mad.
They're just mad. I know. It's you today
is something else tomorrow.
It's true.
They just, that you can tell in their vitriol.
You know,
You know, what made that piece, I thought, so much better was that it just happened to be after the Democratic Convention.
And Obama, that week, and the person I went after Hart was Bradley Whitford, who was just what a...
And I, like I say, I thank you also because it gave me a chance to, you know, say this, you know, when people ask me, why is your thing about the left these days?
I'm like, well, I'm not a Republican, now it's not going to happen, but this level of obnoxiousness
that did not exist in the old liberals that I remember, you know, this level of vitriol,
and it was right after Obama and Clinton had got up at the convention and made their plea
by saying, I forget Obama's exact words, but it was like, we have to stop scolding and
shaming, we have to stop seeing people as the worst of what they are if we just disagree on one
issue. I mean, it was, and I remember saying in the piece of Bradley Woodford, did you go to the
bathroom when he was, because it's almost like he's speaking directly to you for what you said
about Cheryl, which is, you know, she must burn in hell because she. Yeah, it was weird. I mean,
I talk about it in the book because I was trying to stay off social media. I try to, but you know,
you get sucked in every so often. But I woke up and people were texting me like, whoa,
This guy's such an asshole.
And I thought, oh, I had a lot of guesses who the asshole could be.
I did not think it would be Bradley Whitford.
I was like, whoa, why is Bradley Whitford coming at me?
Because it could have been, it was him, but it could have been, and was other people.
I mean, this town is a bunch of people like that.
Yeah.
I mean, I get basically the same thing.
in different forms.
I know.
They are not big thinkers.
I'm sorry.
I'm saying it all the time here.
People in show business,
their talent is awe-inspiring.
Yeah.
They're not that bright,
with notable exception.
But they're just,
they're not,
and they think they are,
because they're very talented.
That's the problem is,
you know,
somebody sitting in their chair
thinks that they could do better
on the hill.
It's like,
Well, then go on the hill and try to make change.
But you're just sitting here criticizing everybody else.
It's, it's, yeah, but acting like you, you know better, you would do better.
They're all hard jobs that people are doing in D.C.
Really hard jobs.
Yes, and a lot of them are sincere.
Some of them are not.
But even Trump, you know, do I agree with most of it?
No, and I hear from him still complaining and bitching.
and moaning, even after I had, you know,
I got the same kind of shit you did
when I went to dinner from your TV husband,
especially. That was,
have you talked to him since then?
It's none of my business. I haven't.
That was crazy. He came after you.
That was such a...
Well, a Hitler, like,
once you play that Hitler card,
first of all, you've lost me. I know.
I mean, it's, first of all, it's from a Jew.
It's so insulting to anyone
who was actually affected by the Holocaust.
And I see now that Jimmy Kimmel has offered, he said, I would love to have Trump on as a guest.
Is he a Hitler talker too?
Is now Jimmy Kimmel?
Right.
For even saying that.
It's like besides the fact that, you know, you could have waited until you saw how I reacted after the dinner, which was I never stopped criticizing him.
I have the tapes to prove it.
But the fact that you shared the same error was.
enough to make people crazy.
Shared the same air is the perfect phrase for it.
That's exactly what it is.
And that's, to get back to this point,
it's exactly my problem with the left these days.
That fucking attitude, I think in the piece,
I call them liberals in theory.
I define liberals in theory as liberals supposed
to be compassionate.
That's their big thing.
And accepting everyone.
as who you are.
There was nothing compassionate about what he said about you.
Or the simplest kind of compassion, which would be to understand that in a marriage, not
everything the other person does or says is going to be what you do or what you approve
of.
And to make the marriage work, you sometimes have to just, what marriage doesn't go by that rule?
Right.
You have to compromise.
You have to step back.
step back and talk and listen and say okay that drives me crazy but and sometimes just eat it
i know that's what i remember too about your monologue really made me laugh it's like sometimes
when you're married you just have to eat chit and i was like you're not wrong you're not and
everybody who's ever been married knows i'm not wrong i've never been been married and i know i'm not
wrong because any relationship because any relationship even if you have kids if you have a boyfriend girlfriend
whatever it is, it's like at some point,
sometimes you just have to say,
okay, we'll get
through this moment, and
we know who we
are to each other, and that's what really counts.
But that's what was weird, too,
about his tweet
where he said, a great,
what is something about, like, great...
Great job, Cheryl.
Great job.
Wait a way to...
Wait a good example for the kids.
Yeah, for the kids. You know, it's like,
I'll shut the fuck up.
For the kids.
It's just, yes, another one of their liberals in theory, they hate bullying.
It's just the worst thing in the world, except when they do it.
Except when we're putting your head in the locker.
Then it's always acceptable because we know what the truth is.
So whatever we do to the other person.
Yeah, it was all very odd.
It's just ugly.
But I really appreciate it.
Oh, my gosh.
Because at the time, I was like, wow, this is so crazy.
And, you know, it got a lot of pickup.
People were writing about it and talking about it.
And I, you know, I didn't want anything to do with it to begin with.
But when you came out, I was like, oh, my God, Bill, I love you.
I love you back.
And I hope I'm not the only one.
I'm sure I'm not.
I think it would be a tragedy, although I wouldn't be surprised if it's the case,
that you would lose jobs because this is, it's funny,
it's a town that loves to romanticize the period in the 50s
when there was a blacklist, and as they should,
because it was a terrible blacklist.
But they have their own kind of blacklist now.
It's not like they aren't sort of recapitulating that
when it was a witch hunt about communists.
Now it's a witch hunt for people who aren't woke enough.
You know, it's not like we're conservatives.
That's the thing.
It's like I, that's what's crazy.
That's what's so obnoxious.
That's why I feel like I have a lot in common with you because, yeah, that's who I have always been and I've always been, I don't know, I'm trying not to judge people and I am curious about people.
And if somebody has a different opinion, I'm interested in listening to it.
But these, a lot of people do not, like you said,
if you're sharing the same air with somebody.
But again, people who are basically on your team.
Like I always say to my woke friends,
we voted for the same person.
You're just why she lost.
I mean, the whole election was cuckoo birds.
Yes.
I was the first one to point that out about Trump,
but he's not going to.
You see, this is the thing he signed when I went to him.
And what is that?
That's every insult he's ever said about me publicly.
I had him printed out, and he signed it.
God bless him.
But I earned every one of those.
You know, it's not like I was ever deceived before or after I had dinner with him.
And I want to have dinner with him again.
I think he needs more people, and he likes talking to people.
He does.
that is exactly what somebody was just asking me about when I met him, what surprised me the most.
And I said, I was surprised that he really likes to listen to people.
He's very curious and what you have to say.
They hated when I said that.
Again, because I'm just telling you what happened.
Should I lie?
I guess so.
Right.
He kicked me in the balls under the table.
Like I knew he would.
He threw the spaghetti against the wall when I raised the subject of tariff.
No.
No.
Yeah, he listened.
Yeah, I think he actually wants more people around him for stimulating conversation.
Yeah.
I was very surprised at, and mentioned it, again, they hated me for it,
that as opposed to so many important people I've met who, when you talk to them,
you don't feel like they're really listening, they're kind of like, you know what I mean?
And then when they answer you, it doesn't quite.
track, you know.
You're just waiting for their turn to talk.
Yes, or they're just on a just different level.
I mean, these are show people, too.
I've had that. But I didn't get that
with him at all. I got a guy who looked in my
eyes, was listening
to what I said, wait until I finished.
Even when it was contradictory, when it was
he never got blustery or
mad about it. You know, he
said some things that I don't agree with and some
things that I think are just, you know, plainly
not right, like, you know,
third term. I think
you could do it. I'm having people look into it. No, you can't do it. And you can have people look into it from now and to the end of time. It's like 12 words in the Constitution. You can't do it. But he didn't get mad.
Right. And then I also made the point that, you know, I went home that night and I was getting into bed in 60 minutes. I taped it. And there he is on 60 minutes. And he's like ranting and raving. I'm like, who is this guy?
Yeah. This is not the guy I met.
Yeah, so I'm just, I'm just the reporter here.
I'm just telling you, you know,
if this is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,
find a way to work with Dr. Jekyll.
Yeah.
Or Mr. Hyde, I forget which one.
Yeah.
One of them you want to work.
One of them is good.
One of them is not.
And I can't tell you either.
But yeah, I think it's, you know,
it's a matter of style, his leadership.
A lot of people,
I hated so much that no matter what he accomplishes,
Like, the day they, the hostages were freed.
Yes.
I, Bill, I thought.
Awesome.
I thought, I woke up, I turned on the TV because I wanted to see it if it was actually happening.
And it did.
And they were all released.
And I thought, this is the thing that's going to bring people together because everybody, everybody wanted that.
And I didn't hear, I didn't hear people celebrating it.
Oh, I did.
and got shit from a lot of media for it.
I forget who said their headline was something like,
Bill Maher spent six whole minutes praising Trump for his...
Okay, well, it was a panel with two other people,
so three of us were talking.
Six minutes on the subject isn't really that outrageous.
It was kind of the big story of the week.
It's a huge story.
It's still a huge story.
It was Mark Cuban and Andrew Ross Sarkin,
two really smart guys and me.
And yes, we were all kind of.
of an agreement credit where credit is due not be in agreement with that because it's it's
about their feelings it's about how they feel Cheryl yeah even about what really happened I know
does it make them feel not good because Trump did something good you know and it's like it's like
I just I'm not going to live in that world and it wasn't just something good you know this was
what people have been I said that fighting for they've been trying to do this forever they've been
You know, I was reading Kamala Harris' book, and she...
Would you lose a bet?
I got that really made you do a spit-tage.
Seriously?
There's a sentence I never heard after Pass Me the Anvil.
I was reading Kamala Harris' book.
And they say you're not liberal enough?
People!
She's reading Kamala Harris's book, give the woman a break.
But she was talking about, you know, the hospital.
and that the whole situation she and she was basically saying it's it's impossible just we tried and it's
it's like well right but but it seemed impossible yes and then and then it happened and both sides were
released it wasn't just oh this side got fooled and there and that was when I really I lost well
a lot of respect for some people I lost that respect a while ago but to that point you know
If you're in the wing of we don't breathe the same air and how dare you talk to the president?
Right.
Why?
What am I going to elevate him?
Oh, my God.
What's he going to become president of the United States?
Right.
There's no there to their argument.
And here's a very good counter argument.
The Middle East deal shows that, especially with him, everything is personal relationships.
Yeah.
If you don't get that about him, you're just screaming into.
to the win. I hate Trump more than you do. That's all they have. Wow, you win the beat a dead
horse contest. Well, it's true. It is even like the Middle East. He is, and you're right. And it goes
back to when you meet him in person and he listens and he really does want peace. That's one
definite plus with him. Yes. I learned that at the dinner. Yes. But you also say,
it in the actions.
Yes.
He really hates war.
Yes.
Now look, I mean, I'm an Obama guy.
When Obama said, I'm not against all wars, I'm just against stupid wars.
That's more my position.
Yeah.
I hope that Trump, you know, first of all, you know, I was not for his plan with Ukraine,
which was I can get a peace deal.
Yeah.
Surrender.
Yeah.
And it still didn't work.
It just shows it works some place.
Now you can just come back from China.
from China, you know, I think,
I don't think he's handling China right.
I think he thinks we have more leverage with China
and China has all the leverage.
But in the Middle East, it worked.
And part of the reason why is because they did have
those personal relationships.
Jared Kushner, you know, I mean, I know some of these deals
with the Bahrain and whatever are probably a little sketchy
and they're gonna make a lot of money for the family.
Okay, I get it, but you know what?
We're living in the world we're living in.
And the people who, like, are on their high horse, I mean, look, the head of Saudi Arabia did chop off a reporter's head.
It's no doubt about it.
And for a year, Biden was, I don't talk to you.
And then he had to.
Because it's Saudi Arabia.
It's bad that he should cut off a guy's head, but he's also modernizing the country.
And these are the kind of mature, yes, difficult kind of compromises that mature people make.
And Biden was there a year later fist bumping the guy, that he's.
He said he wouldn't talk to, because you have to, because it's Saudi Arabia.
They have the oil, and they're the counterweight to Iran.
We need to talk to them.
And the Trump crowd is, they just don't play that game.
They don't pretend about anything.
Some of it goes too far, and they sound semi, or sometimes a little more than semi-racist.
And lots of stuff.
I fucking hate that they do.
I said when he got elected, I said, I'm not going to pre-hate anything.
And then two weeks later, I went, here's a list of things I hate.
There's things I hate.
That must be true with every president, though.
No?
Not to his degree.
Okay.
His sins are much more existential, mostly about democracy and ignoring court orders and, like, you know, I don't like ice, zip-tying children and throwing them in vans.
There's plenty to complain about.
And I have, and he's noticed, you know, and I'm not going to go into.
what's going on, but, you know, I hope to have dinner with him again, and, you know, he definitely
doesn't like it when you critique him and thinks you're being unfair, but he is willing
to listen. Yeah. And he totally is not, because I, you know, had dinner with him and then didn't
become a trumpet, he will yell at me, but does not want to cut me off. He does not want to cut me off,
which is something I cannot say about the left.
They want to cut you off.
Well, that is true because the Republicans
have been very kind to me from the beginning.
Even from the beginning when Bobby was running as a Democrat,
they weren't mean.
No.
And they never have been.
No.
And I can't say that for the Democrats.
I agree.
And it's sad because it's not the Democrats we
grew up with. Right. Yeah. And that's the difference that people don't, I think, see. They're like,
why did you turn on the Democrats? Well, first of all, I didn't. Like I said, we voted for the same
person. But I'm not going to pretend I don't notice how different they are. Yeah. How mean they've
become. Very mean. And also, like, often just bereft of the facts. I mean, like, you don't get it
about Israel for sure.
You know, I mean, there's some real terrorist happy people
in the party that's supposed to be, I always say,
just the fact that the social justice warriors
do not make gender apartheid their number one issue.
The fact that so many women in the world,
yes, mostly Muslim, but not all just Muslim,
or beyond second-class citizens, just chattel, really.
the fact that that isn't your number one issue you already lost me israel has it made mistakes i'm
sure it has blah blah blah lots of but we're talking about who is oppressing and being oppressed
the most in the world that you should care about and be protesting about that would be it women who
are basically treated as second-class citizens at best and what and instead what do you think
they're focusing on.
Israel.
Right.
Somehow the Jews, or it's,
one thing can unite the left and right.
Kind of keep an eye on the Jews.
15 million people in a world of 8 billion,
but boy, they get a lot of attention.
And, you know, it goes back to the president
who is willing and able to speak to both sides,
to once peace,
wants to figure out solutions.
We're not necessarily in the women's rights department.
I would say that is his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, he's a guy
who looks at things that are amiss, uh, at least in his view, but I often agree with
what he assesses at something that needs correcting, the border needed correcting.
Well, now even the Democrats, Bernie Sanders,
was out there in the news.
And Pritzker, the guy who's going to run for president,
governor of Illinois, both saying Trump was right.
Biden fucked it up and he got in there
and he fixed the border.
I mean, that's pretty amazing when you got people like that
saying, OK, you did the right thing.
So most of the other things, like I agree,
are colleges insane, have elite colleges gone out of?
Yes, that's the mouth of the river for all this crazy woke shit
that's where it comes.
comes from.
And lots of other things where he just, NATO did need to pay more, you know, he identified
a problem.
Mostly, you know, or at least largely, he has done things which I wouldn't do as the solution.
You know, was government bloated?
Yes.
Should we bring in Elon Musk with the chainsaw?
No.
No.
That was not this.
He didn't like the style of that.
I didn't like that people were.
killed and hurt for no good reason and that's just not the way and it if there was any silver
lining to that one it was that we found out that actually a lot of the administrations have
when they got in really took a hard look at where the waste is yeah and um it's not as much as we
thought it really isn't oh when other people looked at the waste or because there's a lot of
Well, Elon did.
There's a lot of waste.
Yeah, but not where they cut it.
The waste is like in the Pentagon.
Not necessarily.
Really?
Where do you think it is?
It's all over the world, you know.
It's funding that we are funding for other countries, you know, that there's some...
Oh, there's some crazy shit.
Yeah, there's some crazy shit.
No, I remember, I think Bobby did testify about this, and there was stuff in the HHS
And that's an enormous bureaucracy that's health and human services.
He's not just head of the CDC or the FDA.
This is health and this.
This is, what, $180 billion or something in this?
These are lots of agencies.
Yes.
I mean, but that is a sprawling budget.
I mean, he must come home with, like, fucking tons of work.
He does.
Yeah, he does.
Does he take it home?
He's pretty good at, I don't want to say,
leaving it at the door because that's not necessarily true but time does he come through the door
it depends on the day it really but you know there are calls and things going on all hours of the
but you're living in washington for the most part yeah like in a great place in georgetown or something
yeah georgetown's awesome it's so great i remember i i uh stayed there for a month when i was
making the Academy Award-winning movie D.C. Cab.
I'm sorry I haven't seen that.
But now, but now I'm curious.
Was it good?
It was a big hit, though.
1983.
Wow.
Mr. T.
I love Mr. T.
Gary Busey.
Love Gary Busey.
I mean, some very, very, very fine people in there.
Were you guys cab drivers?
We were cab drivers, exactly, in Washington, D.C.
And what?
Did you know everybody's secrets?
Because they were talking on the phone.
No, people didn't have cell phones then.
No, but Cheryl, what haunted us was the idea that maybe whatever dreams we had for another life
were not going to come true, and maybe we really were cab drivers.
I wanted to be a musician.
But you couldn't.
Well, I just...
You know what, at the end?
Yeah, you did.
You played the guitar?
No.
No, at the end, I realized it's not so bad to be a cab driver.
Because we were a family.
of cab drivers
Yeah
How would you
When would you see each other
At the station
Absolutely
And just hang out
So you got to call
Of course
That's exactly how it went
Now they're making
D.C. Uber
It's different
People don't know each other
And we'll never see each other
They text
Exactly
Yeah
But I stayed in Georgetown
For a month
And I really loved it.
I mean, that's just such a cool neighborhood.
Yeah.
It's a beautiful city.
I mean, it's high-end, but there's also something a little behemian about it.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, you can wear jeans there.
I find in D.C. a lot of...
Oh, yeah.
Jet is not a Jeans town.
No.
Absolutely not.
That's been tough.
I mean, we're trying to get Federman into jeans.
That would be a step up from the shorts.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is, it's a buttoned-up town.
Oh, so buttoned-up.
I used to love playing it for the show
because the crowd is politically hip.
But after the show, I never found the party.
Maybe it's a little looser now.
I've seen some, well, not your type of party, let's be honest.
I remember doing the correspondence dinner one year in the 90s,
you know, when you're the new block.
And it was just terrible because half the audience
just can't be seen laughing
at something that...
Right, that you're making a joke about their work.
Their team, right.
So, it's just a shitty crowd.
And every year they try to get a political comic
and every year it's a disaster
and they should, not every year.
Stephen Colbert, who I do not like
and he didn't like me and that's fine.
But the year, I give him credit,
the year he did it in front of Bush
was a genius performance.
a great use of true satire.
But generally it's a disaster.
They should just get a juggler
or somebody who's apolitical.
Right, right, right.
They think they can put,
they can shoehorn politics into that.
But it doesn't work.
It's really, but it's not funny.
It's like, no, I tried to get that bill pass
for two years and you're making fun of it.
Right.
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a month. Learn more at p.c.express.ca. I know because now, like an insider, you know, I see things from a
different perspective. And it's, uh, like what? Oh, just, you know, counting votes and do we have
your support? The minutiae. Yeah, and it's like we, we, and even like the hearings. Horse trading.
Yeah, horse trading. And tomorrow, a lot of stuff is like popping off every day. Like, tomorrow, we're
We're making an announcement.
Bobby has to do that?
Like, he has to do that kind of horse trading with senators and congressmen to get their support on shit?
I wouldn't say he does horse trading, but, you know, something like favored nations drug pricing, you know, that was not easy to do.
Favored nation's drug price.
Yeah, so the president and Bobby, it was really important to the president.
president that Americans don't pay more for pharmaceutical drugs than other countries.
So we've been paying sometimes 100, 100% more, 500% more.
There's no laws about it.
No.
It's crazy.
And so to get that to happen.
What to happen?
So we're fixing that?
Yeah.
Oh.
Well, we've had big pharmaceutical companies come in and say, yes, we're doing it.
we're not going to charge Americans more than we charge other.
Yeah, I read about Pfizer.
Yeah, Pfizer.
I mean, that's amazing that they, you know, that these companies are coming forward and saying,
yes, we'll do it.
Because, you know, it's going to be, I don't want to say, a loss for them, but when, you know,
a drug price was $1,200 and now it's going to be $200.
Right.
Like somebody somewhere is having to.
So things like that, you know, where it's, you're...
But we're really doing that.
It's going to happen.
It's already happening.
Okay.
Yeah.
And it's going...
Well, that's another one.
Right.
Who could be mad about this?
Not just not mad, but how about Gibb credit?
Celebrate.
If they did it.
Because that certainly has been on the Democratic wish list forever.
No.
As it should be.
Yeah.
I remember when Obamacare was first getting off the ground,
the first thing they did.
was have the pharmaceutical companies in.
Because they understood, if we don't have some support
from these motherfuckers, nothing is happening after that.
And so people, of course, the purists,
always the cowardiest people in the world,
because it's so easy to be a purist.
We're like, oh, he's making deals with pharmacy.
Yes, he's making deals.
That's how it's done, because nobody gets everything.
And Obamacare, you know, we should have had
public option. We shoulda, shoulda, shoulda. Yeah. And this is what's practical. This is what was
possible. The art of the possible is what they say politics is. I mean, it passed by one vote.
Well, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about, you know, being an insider
looking in where it's like, this person needs this to happen to say yes to that thing and, you know,
calls are going back and forth that sometimes you don't even know if it's going to happen until the press
you know, conference and you're, it's...
And you see this because he's like on the phone
while you're in the room?
Well, I see it because I know
that
it's on the table. I mean, it's not a secret.
You know, that's not a secret that they,
that it was really important to
get favored nations drug pricing
for Americans. But also, politicians
famously, and I'm not saying it's a bad thing,
talk to their wives, you know,
I think Trump talks to Melania a lot.
I think she's quite influential.
I don't have any hard evidence of that.
I just, first of all, there's just been a huge change you can see
in the fact that they like each other again.
There was a period where, you know, remember the slapping of the hand?
But by the way, I read Melania's book,
and there was a reason for that, the slapping of the hand.
because she said that they were walking on a you know pathway on a sidewalk and then it became narrow
and she wanted him to go ahead of her and he tried to hold her hand and she you know was just like
I'm going to walk behind because there's not enough room on the sidewalk so she talks about that at
her book and she talks about yeah but people came after us and said can you believe this and
it's it's like what is she you know if she spent time
addressing every thing that people said and in and she also talked about um you know she
supports a woman's right to choose and she said a lot of things in her book that of course
i think he talks to her a lot yeah i think he really it's i think it's very unreported and i'm just
guessing but it's what my impression is that he actually goes to her for counsel and that she is a
moderating influence
as is Ivanka probably
I would I mean
you know it's good to have women
around you have women around you
that's why I came on your show bill
I wanted to tell you that it's always good to have women around you
whether they're wearing leather
or red lace
you know what just let them let them be
red
clothes are even worse
you know who you well all I can think of
is Nancy Reagan
Oh, well.
Republican women
iconically wear red.
Oh, so even just you looking at a red dress,
you're like, no, Republican.
No, this is way before MAGA, I didn't like a red dress.
I just feel like a bull.
I'm telling you, it's like, oh, you're going to run at this.
It's like, I don't know.
It's just, it's just not a sexy color.
I think you might be alone in this.
I don't care.
Why should I care?
We're all alone in our taste.
We are.
And we should be.
As we should be.
We should be judged for it.
Like I'm judging you right now.
No.
I mean, it's color?
Who gives a shit?
It's like saying, why don't you like mustard?
Because I don't.
Yeah.
Because I don't.
Get off my back.
I know, I thought about that too when Bobby was announcing that he was running.
I really thought, oh, what color am I going to wear?
Because do you have to think about it?
I mean for the announcement.
Yeah, for his announcement.
Oh, there's a lot you have to think about.
Yeah.
I mean, you cannot walk out of the house without your armor on, I'm guessing.
I mean, psychologically, am I wrong?
Oh, you're right.
You have to be like, because, you know, the press, I know people think they're nice.
They're not your friends, and they're not trying to be your friends.
Their motto was, I didn't come here to make friends.
Yeah.
I came here to get a scalp on the wall.
And if it's yours, so be it.
It's not my problem.
Doing my job, man.
I'm just a hunter with a rifle, and you're just a deer in the headlight.
Yeah, and you knew you were walking out in the field.
Yeah, and you knew it.
You knew it.
Right.
It was a risk you took and how it worked out.
Yeah.
No, it's true.
It's true.
You know, when you don't know, I'm not even a politician.
You know what I mean?
I'm not even a politician and people.
Well, when you're the wife of Bobby Kennedy, you are de facto.
You are involved.
To a degree, you are a politician.
politician you just you know you can sing the song what I did for love what I did
for what show is that from oh wait it's a great song right is it the you sing it
what I did for love I can't I'm too stoned to sing because I can't hear it in my
head no but it's a great you know the show you know what it's not it must be from a
Broadway show I feel like it's definitely from a Broadway show
somebody here must know no well we don't we don't we know we're the only ones here thank
that's what i love about this show we're the only i know nobody's around you know this is we're
going back to the time when people didn't look things up you just have a conversation if we don't
know what Broadway show and then then we don't deserve if we don't know it by now we don't
fucking know let it will come to us it will come to us let us i know now i feel like i need to
No. I'm going to let it go. What's it all about Alf? No. But it does, it would fit you. You could
sing that song because you've given up a lot for love. Well, I think we all do. But this is a,
this is a very particular situation. This is very specific that I didn't see coming.
Any political wife gives up a lot for love. Or husband. Or husband. Yeah.
You mean the almost first gentleman?
Did you know him?
No, no, Doug.
Doug Emhoff?
That sounds right.
I don't know, I just read the book.
I think that's the last name.
Somehow I think Doug Emhoff has heard the words,
that sounds right about him many times in his life.
Anyway, Doug Emhoff, who, look, I'm sure is a very nice guy.
I don't know why I have to bring this up,
but we're talking about him.
We're doing it.
He was credibly accused of sexual mis-fessons, shall we say, during the campaign.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Really?
That never got on your radar?
No, there was a lot of other crap on my radar.
Well, that just shows you when the left-wing bubble wants to close the wagons and make you
not see it.
No, look, I'm not saying he did anything that should have disqualified her in any way,
But they just did cover it up, and it was very similar to other things that they have blown crazy out of proportion.
It seemed credible.
It was in Khan.
He was on a date.
It was before Kamala.
It just acted like in a terribly rude, horrible, misogynistic way.
And it was just like, no, no, he's her husband.
We don't see that.
They did him on Saturday Live in sketches, and it was just like, oh, kind of.
a boring, you know,
old Doug, your sweet dad.
And like that thing was just,
when they want to disappear a person
or an idea.
Situation, yeah.
They take that very seriously.
I know Trump disappears people into vans,
and I'm not for that.
But you can disappear an idea.
Yeah.
Well, especially if you control the media.
Yeah, and look, they have a lot.
A lot of the media, too.
It's just that we each have our own media.
Yes, and that's all people watch.
They watch the one that they like to hear what they're saying.
I know.
It was really during the...
What do you guys watch?
You know, I like News Nation.
I like News Nation because...
Yeah.
That's my boy, Cuomo.
Yeah.
Love him.
I do too.
You've been here.
And I like that they, you know, talk about both sides.
Exactly.
And the free press does that.
I love that
it is very hard to get both sides
I look at
you know I read the New York Times
and the New York Post
because like it's just amazing
it's only when I read them both
like okay now I fully understand the situation
no that's what I have to do when I watch the news
I'll have to watch CNN
and then I'll have to watch Fox News and then I'll have to figure out
okay what's what's up
no
watch my show because
I will give you both in one show.
By the way, that's what I love about you. Yeah, thank you.
I love that. I will give you both in one show.
You're like, here's what's happening.
You might hate hearing this.
Right. But here's the real.
Here's what's happening. Here's the real on both of them.
There's a lot to be said about both of them.
And, um, yeah. And it's,
it's odd that there's not more of that.
It's odd that there's not more of, uh, somebody just reporting the news instead of
There's such a, you know, a lot of feelings in the news.
There's such a cognitive dissonance between the news and our actual lives.
Like, if you absolutely could, like, block out all the news,
if you didn't even know who the president was, I would guess your life is pretty sweet.
You live in Georgetown.
You're married to an exciting guy.
That is true.
He is.
He is.
He's fascinating.
And exciting people are going to be flawed.
That's true.
You know.
Mine's true.
I mean, Hillary never left Bill.
I always thought she was great for that.
And she, there was some point along the way,
and they asked her when she was talking about it.
And she said, yeah, you know, I think she literally said the words,
he's a hard dog to keep on the porch.
Which is awesome, if it's true.
And even if it's not, it's still awesome.
But she said.
Yeah, but it doesn't sound like something she'd see.
She doesn't strike me as somebody who says,
like, my mama used to always say.
Well, she did live in Arkansas for a long time.
We could look it up, but we're not going to do it now because it's just us.
And by the time we're done with this,
we're going to not think about the porch and the dog.
We'll both be canceled by the time we're done with this.
That's true.
They're not going to let me back in D.C. either when we're done with this.
She said, you know,
I don't like, it was a long time ago.
I don't want to like mangle her words,
but the essence of it was,
I've never met a more interesting person in my life.
So, you know what?
Go fuck yourself.
I'm going to stick with the person who, you know,
there's nobody I'd rather talk to shit about it.
And, you know, and I think what she was thinking is like,
you know, in time he will calm down.
What?
I like that you spend so much time thinking about what Hillary Clinton.
I like that you really, like, you took those words in and you're like,
Because I think it applies to me.
I know what she's saying. I know what she's saying.
Because I think it applies to me.
In what way?
You know, I think in time he will calm down.
Have you calmed down?
You've calmed.
Yes.
And there's someone who I give a lot of credit for thinking that about me.
That you'd calm down?
That I would calm down.
I never said I thought you would calm down.
You're the one that just said that.
No, I'm just saying I give a lot of credit to someone who, like, had that faith.
Like, I think at some point he will calm down.
But you don't want to be completely calm because then you're boring.
That's right.
So, you know, I'd rather have the interesting part.
I mean, life's short enough.
Yeah.
And, like, let's be there for the interesting parts.
And like I say, reading the news, you can get yourself into a lather of anxiety.
But your actual life, if you didn't know, you're wearing great clothes.
I love the leather.
don't back that it does really look good it's a great it's a great it's a great it's a great
it's a great it's a great outfit you meant like a leather bikini i i meant like uh yes like a leather
um that's really thinking about this okay but um no i do have a good life i have a great life and um
a lot of people do and many don't and we care about them yeah and that's compassion and that's like
You know, the Republicans definitely lack a certain chip for compassion in general.
They do.
Which is strange because that's what I always thought that was the backbone of.
Republicans?
No, Democrats.
Democrats.
It is the back part.
But it's not feeling like that.
Their head is up their ass on so many things that their goal is compassion and they wind up doing the reverse.
Great example.
We live in California.
were very compassionate about the environment and so they made it a law that you
couldn't like fuck with this some kind of shrub that was gonna be endangered if you
and it was like brush for the fire and the fire caused actual more pollution I
don't know if you have one of those little dials in your home that tells you
the quality of the air but this week it was horrible oh really yes I mean like
when it's fine it's a little man who's green grinning and then if it's
pretty if it's getting a little worse
it's like he's yellow and like
uh oh and then
if it's bad and this all week
it would just
in orange
and what are you supposed to do you're not supposed
well I don't know what that's from
is that but is that but the fires
I read the stats
the pollution from the fires
was worse than like
anything worse than all the
cars and and
And it reversed like 20 years of progress that we did by, you know, fixing the car situation
or making it better.
I mean, so, like, you can just stupid your way to the opposite effect, you know, and there's
a lot of that because it's just very important to these people that they are seen as the
good people.
So they just wind up having the reverse effect, I think, often, well-meaning as they are.
But it's just very, very, very important to them to be seen.
as the good people.
And what they're willing to do
to get that reputation
sometimes is counterproductive.
It's true.
And they can be very judgmental.
I mean, I guess both sides can.
Oh, of course.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
But if it's somebody who all your life is telling you,
they accept everybody no matter who they are.
They're perfect the way they are.
Suddenly, it's like, except you're not great.
He's not great.
Don't talk to that person.
They're not.
They're very hypocritical about heterosexual relationships that are age inappropriate for the people who are supposed to be, well, I was born that way.
This is what my body is telling me to do.
Do people give you a hard time?
You don't have to answer.
Yeah, they do.
And I don't give a fuck if they're.
I'm sure you don't.
This is what my body is telling me to do.
Yeah, I'm honoring my body.
And by the way, it's what 90% of men's bodies
are telling them to do.
You're just acting on it.
Get with a 20-year-old.
That's what their bodies are telling them to do.
If you can.
If you can.
And no, no.
But I'm just saying, you know, I don't know what I'm saying.
No, you were saying that this group is saying
that they accept everybody who they are.
And then you're dating a younger woman and it's like...
They're most judgmental people in the world.
And which is okay, but then don't act like you're not.
This would so frustrating about the times we live in, like politically,
I am more with the Democrats and the liberals,
especially on the issue of, you know, democracy and trying to preserve it.
But on the other issues, they just get to.
under my skin, the left, so much, whereas the right, you know, you could have this conversation
and, you know, all my friends on the right, Kid Rock, who brought me to the White House, people
like that, Dana White, Trump himself, all these people, you could have these conversations,
Charlie Kirk was here, all these people, you can have these conversations and come to that
point, I remember where Dana was here, when all of them were here probably, we get to that
where we're kind of yelling at each other yeah and then I always take it back
down and and by the time they leave we're all great friends yeah and they're
okay with that yeah the left isn't that way no they're like they're more like
no if you're not with me I fucking hate you and you're a deplorable or you're
with the deplorables or you're talking to the deplorables or you had dinner
with Hitler and it's just like it's like you people are so you're such babies
You're so, you're not sophisticated people.
To quote another show on our network, you are not serious people.
Serious people talk to each other.
And they accept that you're going to get to this point where you don't agree.
Again, the marriage thing, it's very comparable to politics.
There are things you're just going to go, I don't know.
Well, I agree to disagree.
What the fuck, but can we fix this together?
Yeah.
And can you not hate me?
and if you don't hate me, maybe I'll, you know, let's just, you know, let's just, I see that
we have Marjorie Taylor Green on our show Friday.
That'll be interesting.
Very on Halloween.
By the way, I've met Marjorie, too, and I, she was very nice.
I mean, you know, people are going to be mad at me for even saying that, but she's like...
My line is, everybody's a monster until you talk to them.
Yeah.
Well, no, I don't know.
I'm not saying she's a monster either, but yes, but a lot of people think that.
She's a monster till you talk to it, and then they're not.
And then they're not, because they're just people.
Because they're people.
You know, during the election, I remember when, you know, the primaries, right before the primaries,
and it wasn't clear who was going to be the nominees, especially Republican.
Although at one point it was like, oh, very clear it was going to be Donald Trump.
And I remember talking to one of my friends who said, can you believe it?
And I said, I can.
And I said, and I think what we should be talking about is half of the country really supports that, really supports him.
So what, why do they?
And she was like, looked at me.
like I just had given her
a little tablet of poison
I said have I said something
and she was just like
how could you even say that
I know
I was like oh well aren't you curious
like why aren't you curious about
are you are you thinking there's any
part of that answer that might be in the mirror
is what I would say to the
you know any part of the answer
not the whole answer
yeah I agree
but just any
part of an answer that might be in the mirror because I remember after the election
and you know I won't say who but a very respected editor iconic even and his
comment was well we're not as good at people as we thought we were half of our
people are bad people I mean that was the right you know I'm not paraphrasing
but like that was the takeaway from the election half of our people are just
bad people we're the good people right and we know who the
good people all right okay but and and so everyone knows and what we have to do and they want to
make sure that they right what we have to do is make sure that the good people own and destroy the
bad people see both sides think that they don't want to compromise both sides I just want to own you
and destroy you which is a great strategy left wingers until they're the ones who completely
own and destroy you which they now have I mean there's no checks on Trump
Okay, so you, yeah, yeah, somebody got owned and destroyed, and it was you.
So maybe that wasn't the greatest strategy.
Right.
But now they're doubling down on that, you know.
Who's the doubling down?
The woke people who will, you know, the people who thought it was great that Larry said that I was Hitler for having dinner with Hitler or whatever, whatever.
I didn't even read it, but I got the gist of it, I'm Hitler or I'm having dinner with Hitler.
You're having dinner with Hitler and it's fine because he's a, right.
And they thought, to the people who just want to beat the dead horse of, I hate Trump more than you, and that makes me a better person, great.
Again, I have the thing with 56 insults, so I think I can come to this fight.
Did he read those?
No, I read some of them to them at the time.
I'm sure he laughed and also said, don't say that.
You know what he said?
I was having some of these.
You know, another thing, he does laugh.
Oh, no.
He never laughs in public, but he does laugh.
I mean, like, he was laughing when I was, you know, dopey, dumb, dummy, trouble.
Terrible student, not considered smart, no mojo, nervous, low-life dummy, so-called comedian, not a smart guy.
Better than Sominex, feel like a dog, fired like a dog.
I mean, the fact that somebody would have in their head, if I tried to come up with 56 different ones, I couldn't do it.
No.
And he just went, you know, it was different times.
And you said it was yesterday.
The last one's from yesterday.
A lot of different times.
Yeah.
He does have a sense of humor, which, by the way, I'm sure that.
Also, he said something in the press.
They got not a lot of coverage, but I thought it was very telling, and I thought it was very real.
About six months ago when he said, what people don't get about me is I have no permanent enemies.
Hmm.
And when you think about it, a lot of the people,
he fired he brings back you know they've been on the outs they're on the ends
mm-hmm for all his bad points he's very flexible yeah I mean there could be
there's a bad side to that but like it's so there's also a good side to that
yeah and like I think he's right I don't think he has permanent enemy I'm a
perfect example I'm like for years it was just this you know this thing he would
talk about it at the rallies like there's this lunatic
There's this low-life dummy, this highly overrated, increasingly boring comedian, in quotes.
I'm sorry he talks about your ratings.
Of a fuddled mess.
His show is dead guy.
Oh, we're in the heart.
And, you know, he says that I'm not going to give up power.
And then, of course, he didn't give up power.
Didn't phase him at all that I, the thing he was complaining about actually happened.
You think he's going to run in 2020 and 80?
keep talking about
we're going to find something
it does seem
highly unlikely
but also
how's Bobby getting along with him
these days he gets along with him
really well still so there was no
I mean there was for a minute
there was talk in the press that
I forget what it was
but something maybe it was just
a made up a story that Trump was like
oh he's going to but that never
was never close
No, no.
I mean, that's the other thing, too, about being on the inside and looking at it.
People create little stories, and then they catch fire, and then that's a new cycle.
And so you really do know what's going on, what's not.
And the thing about...
All they care about is clicks.
That's all they care about.
That's all they care.
Does not matter if it's true.
Truth is like a distant force to click clicks.
It can drive you insane.
Do you read it?
I don't.
I never read anything.
Day to day.
Do you not?
I don't know if I would even know how to get on any of these things anymore.
Really?
I usually don't.
I really...
The likes I get.
Yeah.
And this, I mean, like, sometimes I go home Friday night, I'm like, oh, wow, that's such a great show.
And I'm like, yeah, I guess I could go on Twitter, but then I'd see that.
people who hated it yeah so I you know like any like I get is like texting it's like a personal
yeah from somebody I know yeah well that means a lot to me it's like somebody who I respect and
know it's like wow you hit it out of the park that was a great thing yeah and it's you know
it's not as many likes as you would get um but to me it's more meaningful yeah I heard somebody say
once you shouldn't take criticism from somebody you wouldn't take advice from.
And it's great.
Yeah.
Wow.
That makes sense.
So you have people that don't know you commenting on how awful you are and it's like, oh.
You should do a show.
That's what you should do now.
What kind of show?
You know, fuck the acting thing.
You know, you are never going to convince the 90% of the cowards in this, you know,
town who I'm telling you very talented not that bright they and they're very
afraid what they're very afraid of being on the wrong side of an issue yeah so
it's just easier just to like just get behind Professor Mark Ruffalo he knows
everything about Israel you know so just do that and you're always going to be
safe doing that there's always going to be safe attacking you that was always
going to be the safe choice you're on the wrong team now so just attacking you is
very safe we don't have to look into it more and we don't want to
Because we're actors.
We're not readers, okay?
If we were readers, we'd be different categories.
We're actors, okay?
We read the part that makes us sound good.
And if that part is saying,
we must stop genocide, yeah, well, you don't know what genocide is.
You've got your facts wrong.
You don't know your history.
You get everything from TikTok.
But I get it.
It's a better speech.
It's a better speech than 400 million women around the world
can't dress the way they would like to.
I mean, can you imagine just not having the choice
to dress the way you want to?
Taking leather out of the situation?
No, I would be, where would I be without my leather pants?
No, it is hard to imagine what's going on in some countries.
It's really hard to imagine.
I think that's the way to, I just really,
I think that's the way to frame that issue
to get women involved.
Can you imagine living in a society
where you did not have the first,
freedom to choose what you wanted to wear.
I mean, by the way, it's more so not having the freedom to get an education.
That's...
Yeah, so, I mean, there are a lot of things we can put on this list.
There are more places in countries where a woman can get an education.
They're not all Afghanistan where you can't.
That's the far end of the spectrum.
but where you also still couldn't dress the way you wanted to.
You certainly couldn't leave your pretty blonde hair showing.
I know.
It's really hard to...
It's just a choice.
I feel like that should be a choice.
The fact that, you know, some on the left have taken the, you know,
the head covering as a sign of liberation.
It's like, wow, your head is really up your ass.
If you think that's a sign of liberation, you know...
I amosted a spit-take.
What?
I almost did a spit take.
And ruined that leather.
I don't ruin my leather.
At least it wasn't red leather.
That would drive you crazy.
What if you walked in?
It was like red leather head to toe.
You would have walked right out.
Yeah, but if the girl was hot enough, I could forgive it.
You get over it.
You'd be like, mm-hmm.
Guys are like that.
Yeah, it's like, okay, I don't know, tonight's into a whole bit about, like, you know, especially when you're younger, like, if you wanted to get late,
no matter what a woman said, you didn't make.
I steeled myself to some really bad personalities,
way too late in life.
Well, let me ask you this.
For how long can you do that?
Let's say you meet a girl and she's really hot,
you're very attracted.
And let's say you have sex with her on the first night.
Oh, I like where you're going.
Um, so if, if like the, if the people
No talk is you realize, whoa, whoa, we do not have anything in common.
Then are you still the next night like, hey, you up?
Yeah.
No, you're describing a different guy.
Okay.
Look, I never got married, and that's for a reason.
Yeah.
Some people, you know, don't get married because they don't like girls at all.
Some people don't get married because they like them a lot.
That's your category.
Right.
but I was never really like that first night guy.
Really?
I'd have liked to be.
You just didn't have the option?
You didn't have the game?
I mean, it happened sometimes, but first of all, when it could have happened more,
I was stupid about as men are.
Like, I did not really understand who I was very well.
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That's annoying.
What?
You're a muffler.
You don't hear it?
Oh, I don't even notice it.
I usually drown it out with the radio.
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Were you famous?
No, I mean.
Okay, this is when you were.
Not famous.
But did it make a difference after you...
But I'm still not famous to any woman, usually under 30.
Interesting.
They have no idea who I am, which is great.
You have to work harder.
No, it's just like...
You know, you have to say, you want to watch my show?
That sounds like it's going to be good.
It isn't.
But it never is because then there...
I mean, people who are like fans, then they're like too nervous.
Right.
When you go to have sex, they're like, they're just frozen.
I'm telling you.
Yeah, yeah, it's happened more than once.
They're just like, they're too like.
They're like, I can't believe I'm doing it with Bill Maher.
I guess so.
But it's like, it's so much better to have somebody like, first of all, yes, you know they're like you're for you.
Yeah.
And they're not like overwhelmed by the experience.
Yeah.
Which is, you know, which is not.
You know, that's not exactly a pussy wetter, being overwhelmed, you know, so.
I like that you want to keep women underwhelmed.
That's what I'm hearing you say.
Underwhelmed by my celebrity, overwhelmed by who I am.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were going to say your skills.
No, but I'm not out there.
Look, that's not who I even am any.
I'm not out there trying to find women.
I'm totally not.
No.
But there was a day when you were?
Oh, definitely.
A few days.
Many days.
And so you have calmed down, settle down.
Totally.
And, you know, I don't like to reveal too many specifics about my real life.
I don't think that's ever productive in trouble with this, but I'll just say I'm extremely happy.
I'm very extremely happy.
So that's all good.
Okay, and you don't have to answer this question.
Are you extremely happy because you have someone that you like to hang out with?
A, yes, that one.
Yeah.
That's so, see, is it that, it's so nice.
It's so nice.
Oh, I mean, nice.
It's like you hit on different levels, not just like one.
I hit on different women.
But now you're not.
No.
No.
No, I don't want to.
And I'm too old, too.
And, no, everything came out in the wash.
But, you know, I.
have probably more regrets about that part of my life
than any other part of my life,
because the fact that the stupidity reigned so late,
just your look.
I'm taking it in, I'm taking it in.
It said it all like that.
I didn't need any comment.
I don't know.
No, I was just thinking, no, Bill,
I was just thinking because.
But it does.
Yeah.
It's like it doesn't, like.
You want to have somebody, it's nice to,
somebody who you can share your experiences with.
Right.
And if it doesn't, if you don't find the right person,
then it's not, then it doesn't work.
Then you might as well just fuck around.
You know what I mean?
There's only two real pleasures in life.
I can't wait.
I think.
Spaghetti.
There's doing what we're doing.
No.
There's doing what we're doing.
Just talking, having an awesome time connecting,
mentally, like having a couple of drinks, smoking, and just, that's just this, nothing like
mental ping pong.
I agree.
And fucking.
Everything else is kind of secondary.
I mean, yes.
You're just feeling time so you get to do it again.
Well, I'm just, no, there's something wonderful about, you know, taking a bath and snuggling up
and watching a movie and, like, you know, bowling and having dinner with friends, but it's
nothing is as good as this or fucking.
Because it's intimate.
Because you're truly connecting with somebody.
I've said to people, I've said, I hate that I have to decide between kissing you and talking to you.
Aw, that's very sweet.
And sexy.
That's a very sweet.
But it's true.
I mean, that's been true.
That's a very sweet sent in.
Yeah.
Well, try getting it, though.
I mean, it's not like that grows on trees.
No, I know.
That feeling with someone and having that with someone.
That's true.
And then you have it and then you don't have it.
And, you know, I mean, it's like, that's a feeling that's a high you're always chasing.
That's true.
You know, so if you catch it, you should hold on.
You should.
Well, you shouldn't fuck it up.
You shouldn't fuck it up.
That's, I mean, that's what men's usual trip up is.
I love to fuck it up.
They don't like, they can't pick a head.
We don't want to.
I know, you don't, you're not trying to.
We're not trying to.
At least give us that.
I will give you that.
You're not trying to.
We can't help.
But once in a while, you're not thinking
two steps ahead like oh if i do this thing then this thing might happen yeah that's true i must say
um in my second century of second half century of life post 50 i would say around there i feel like i
did finally absorb that one like there is a tomorrow like would it be great to fuck this person yes
But then what are her expectations going to be?
And even if I said to her in words,
here's a sophisticated thing I learned late.
Even if I said to her in words that, you know,
I am who I am and this is not going to be, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah.
And the kind of growth that you, you know,
would hope would have happened earlier.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I mean, a lot of times that happens.
You don't have kids, right?
Not to my knowledge.
but call in
if you're watching
you do a lot of these
bit takes I'm going to tell you
you and I are going to be hosting a morning show
at some point I have a feeling that I
am going to be the richest
to your Kathy Lee at some point
no one's going to learn one thing but we will
tell it like it is I am going to
I'm telling you that is a show
okay let's do it
if you think you had a good TV husband
before I'll give you a better
one I
I know you're talking a language.
Maybe you really know how to talk to a woman.
No, I'm telling you, that I think that's what you should go to.
Because they're not going to give you a break in this town.
They're just fucking assholes.
They are.
They really are.
And they're just such a bunch of fucking teenage girls who don't want you to sit at their lunch table.
And I just don't think that's going to change.
Yeah.
Well, you know, it's been...
But you could do a show.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, you could, you'd be really great at that.
All right.
You got the wardrobe.
I love this.
This is a perfect...
I'm not joking.
It's because you're so high.
It's a great...
No, because when you started out, you were like...
I'm this one guy.
Don't go by me.
This is a great.
If I was the producer, I'd be like...
Wear that outfit.
This is a great first show outfit.
Okay.
This is exactly what we want to be selling to the people.
Because you want somebody.
like I feel like women's TV has been like
either an overweight lesbian
you know somebody who's not threatening to us at all
or Tyra Banks
I feel like we need something in the middle of that
like a hot chick but you know
like someone who's
well she's like she is the aspiration for us
at that age
if we could be as hot as her at that age
we've you know we're
We're really far because we're watching daytime TV.
So, you know, we're obviously also eating funions.
But, okay.
But, you know, but somebody who can talk, and, you know, you've had some pain in your life.
They love that.
You know, you've had pain.
They love that.
And, you know, a man.
But you're still here.
And you're still here.
Exactly.
Like, you've done, you've been through some shit.
And that's when you go into what I did for a love.
What I did for a life.
That's it.
Yeah.
that's it what is that it's a great song who's it all about Alfie no wait
oh no no no no much later though Alfie is it was that a Broadway show no was that a
Broadway show no was that a musical no yeah well it's it no I think it's it's a no
it's a movie they remade it badly but um the original one was Michael Kane Alfie
he's a he's a cad he yes he's a he's a bounder
I didn't know that.
Yeah, that's who Alfie is.
Oh, Alfie.
I thought you meant Michael King.
He has sexual intercourse and relations with women
with no intention of making an honorable misses out of them.
Scoundrel.
He's a scoundrel.
Yes.
And, you know, that's...
But he falls in love.
This...
What's it all about, Alfie?
I don't know.
I don't know what happens.
It's questioning that sort of scoundrel life
and saying, you know, like, get in love.
Is it worth it?
Oh, the thing that I was going to say,
what I was talking about you, you know, realizing, oh, tomorrow, there is a tomorrow.
There might be consequences.
I should think about that for a moment before I do this one thing.
I think a lot of people learn that lesson when they have kids.
Because before you have kids, you don't care what you're, you don't care what you're doing.
But Bobby's got plenty of kids.
Bobby's got a lot of kids.
What's his kids?
what's his what's his excuse
let's call him
can't blame that on the kids he's on the phone right now
Bobby let's go to line too Bobby
you can't blame that one on kids
no no
but I know what you mean
kids I mean because then you think
you're because you're thinking about somebody else
of course it's like
the first time in your life
you start thinking about somebody else before
you think about yourself so even what
you're talking about that's what you're doing
now you were
in your second century no second half century you are thinking about somebody else built this is
very sweet no actually no it's not I was thinking about me having to I mean yes I sometimes I'm thinking
about another person that's true I'm being facetious but I'm also thinking about self-preservation
the last thing in the world I want is a woman
who is mad at me.
Really?
It seems like you would
you would
be able to take that
pretty well. No?
I have
many times, and it's still
not enjoyable. You don't like it. It's still not enjoyable.
No, well that's sweet. That says something.
You know the old Shakespearean phrase
hell half no fury like a woman scorn.
So it's not so much about the feelings, it's about the wrath of the woman.
That is a big part of it. I'm not going to lie.
Why is that you're not like well it's both it's both it's one of those nice things that is both you're doing the right thing
But you're also doing the right thing for you because and it's so easy
Like how do you get women not to hate you or be mad at you? Don't lie to them ever
Yeah about anything don't take them down a primrose path and then like ghost or or just not be that guy who they thought you were
don't pretend, you know, you, oh, you know, maybe I would want to get married someday.
No, just be honest from the beginning.
Yeah.
And I mean, I think you never got married.
I like it, too.
I mean, I think.
You like, you like it.
I think it's good.
You know, you were like, I can tell you of you things.
I get read a book.
And you did.
You know, I love it the way we, I'm telling you, we are destined for a morning talk show,
unscripted by Cheryl Hines.
It's so great.
I read it while this interview was going on.
That's what a badass I am.
I can read and do an interview with the speed read.
Oh, it's got pictures.
It does have pictures.
Oh, no, I'm fucking sold.
It has pictures.
Wow.
Look at these pictures.
Wow, you're always with good-looking men.
I know.
Those were my gay husband.
Your gay husband, stop it.
Really?
Paul and Eddie, yeah.
Wow, there's Richard Gear.
I know.
I talk about Richard Gear for a moment in the book.
So you fucked all these guys?
Mm-hmm.
No, and they were all.
I rate them.
As you're flipping through,
it starts with...
Hey, what's this Jody Foster at the end?
You know, she ranked.
She was up there.
One of the...
I feel like I've known you for a long time.
Although, we haven't really done...
We've been in the same circles.
Yeah, yeah.
We've been in the same circle.
And we were at a,
maybe a Vinity Fair party after the Oscars.
Sure.
And we were both at the bar at the same time.
I don't know why, Bill.
I don't know why, I asked you.
Because this was the rumor for soul.
Was that you would masturbate into a sock before?
A sock.
I love the way things get embellished.
They did print an article, and do you remember, there was a magazine called,
oh.
I'll never forget that magazine.
No, Entertainment Weekly.
I think it's still happening, no?
Happening is definitely not the word to describe whatever.
Whatever's going on with Entertainment Weekly happening.
It's not up.
Okay.
You think that still exists in some form?
Yeah.
Well, it used to when there was newsstands.
Right, right.
And you would walk by the newsstand.
I haven't seen anyone refer to it or seen it itself in, I don't know.
And I also don't know.
Right.
If that's true.
Anyway, they printed, it was a, you know, when magazines were, you know, something.
Yeah, people would pick them up at the airport before they got.
Yeah, exactly.
It was like People Magazine just for the, I don't know how it was different.
Anyway, I guess it had box office results.
Anyway, I, they said that I masturbated before the show in the dressing room.
Why did they say that?
Because I did.
No, would they know this?
Not often.
But not often, but you had, but, you know what, here's the thing.
Tell me.
This is the 90s.
Okay.
I mean, we taped every day.
Yes.
Or three days a week or something like that.
You know, it was an everyday show politically incorrect.
The sign right behind you.
Yes.
And, I mean, I was just like a wild person then.
I mean, and I would be out at night.
You know, I would be, I would, you know, and be sometimes.
Oh, I see.
So you might be talking to an entertainment weekly.
Well, no, no, no, no.
I think what it was was, I'd be coming in and hungover.
Not hungover.
But just like, did I get enough sleep?
No, because I was out late, drinking and clubbing and whatever.
And then, you know, this wasn't a lot, but yeah, sometimes I was.
And so, like, I could always get a nap if I jerked off first.
Okay.
And I think one time I forgot to remove.
the jargon's from the
dressing room?
No.
From where?
Yes, from the toilet area.
And then somebody...
Okay, so you did it in the bathroom.
That's reasonable.
That's what I said to Bill Clinton
after the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
You did it reasonably.
Yeah, so...
Okay.
So what?
You got me.
So I think somebody dropped a dime.
And said, I think that this...
Well, I mean, it is damning evidence.
Why else would you have Juergens in the toilet area?
I mean, moisturized hands?
If you're a lady, you know.
Cheryl, I can't sell that.
I just can't sell that.
It's just better to admit it.
Where does a sock come in?
You don't have to answer that.
They just made that up because that's what they do.
Writer's embellishment.
Right.
It was a sock.
Right.
And I was thinking about Putin.
You know, whatever they want to say.
Of course they're going to, but I'm telling you the truth
I believe you.
No, but at that night, I said,
uh, I asked you about that and you said, yeah, I, I, I do that sometimes or whatever.
Oh, see, I'm consistent.
Yeah, it was very refreshing.
And then I asked you, I shouldn't say this either, but I had this, like, the dress on,
and my hair was sort of buffoon and, like, not, I wasn't really, wasn't the buffon hair.
I was hoping for that movie.
Like Priscilla Presley?
Kind of, yeah.
Wow.
Well, no, that sounds exciting.
No, it was more like a, like a, you know,
more of a political thing.
Not like Cameron Diaz jizz in the hair thing.
No, this is more like, who could I, uh, oh, uh, uh, uh, like maybe it's Sarah Palin?
like really done
oh okay sure
and beehive
it's sort of beehive
and I said
and I said to you
we're waiting for our drinks
after I asked you about the sock
why would I ask you about the sock
Icebreaker
Icebreaker and I said
Hey I hear you're so horny
You can't wait for nighttime
and you do it in a sock in your dressing room
And I said
Here's my card
Yeah
So nice to meet you
I know why would
would I ask you that? I don't know. But I think I must have met you before that moment.
But I don't know where. But anyway, I said, do I look like a senator's wife with this hair?
Little did you know. Who knew?
Wow, what foreshadowed.
I know. And you said, if you're asking me, if you're, I'll say breasts.
Not what you said. If your breasts look great, they do. You look great. And I was like, oh.
Thank you.
I was asking about my hair, but I'll lean into that.
I can't believe at this point we have to make this statement clear,
but I'm always an honest person.
If your tits look great, I'm going to say your tits look great.
That's exactly what you said.
If the left is driving me crazy, I'm going to call them out.
If Trump is doing crazy shit, I'm going to call him out.
But, you know, tits are no exception.
If your tits look great, and they do, I am not going to hide it from the public.
That is my choice.
That is my declaration.
That is my pledge.
That is why I'm a one-issue candidate running for the mayor of New York City.
Titsville.
I'm going to come in at the last minute and unseat mandami on an issue of if your tits look great, let's say it.
Let's just say it.
Let's just fucking say it.
And by the way, I was like, okay.
That will be the name of our talk show.
Your tits look great.
Now get out there and face the world.
So I hear you had a crazy weekend with your new husband.
David Ellison.
Bill, I do think we could cover a lot of ground and territory.
But do you want to get up early in the morning?
Of course not.
We'd have to shoot it the night.
We'd have to shoot it the night before.
We could do it like three in the morning.
You think people know what's going on in the world?
They care.
You could do a show that's a year late and it would know.
It would hold up.
Exactly.
You know, actually, that would be a great twist on the morning.
show is that we do it the night before yeah here's what we think is going to happen tomorrow yeah and
it's not going to be that right most of the time it's not going to be that different no how often does
does um you know an an amazing event happened from 3 to 6th in the morning never oh wait 9-11
oh wow you really brought it down no what time did that happen 812 I mean how do you know that how do you know
that. I just remember it. Do you remember numbers like that? I do. I remember birthdays.
Oh, wait. That's interesting. Are you good at math? Now people can like easily remember
birthdays because like it's in your phone or some shit. And all those years I did it for everybody. For some
reason, I'm not good at math. I'm not a science person. Really? No, but but numbers stick in my head.
Like I will remember. Oh. That was fun. That was God. But um, exactly. But I, I,
I remember like dates.
Like you can say, oh, remember that thing?
And if there are a lot of times I will not remember at all.
But if I do, I could say, oh, yeah, that was April 7th.
But because you.
Don't know why.
Do you visualize the numbers?
No, I'm not crazy like that.
I just somehow remember.
I'm a history person.
That's why maybe I'm a history major.
And I love history.
So you know all the dates of the battles and the wars.
I know everything.
Everything about history.
Ask me anything about history and I will know.
By the way, I always thought that was the bullshit.
History is bullshit.
It's the ultimate non-bullshit.
If you don't know history, you don't know how to guide the present.
History was in my classes, only memorizing what dates the wars started.
Well, they taught it to you badly.
History should be about the significance of what happened before we were here.
One of my biggest problems with the younger generation is when you
mentioned something that happened before
they were alive. There's such little
fucking narcissists that they
don't think they should know because
I wasn't alive for that.
I remember once Megan
McCain was on the show and she said
something like that and Paul Begala almost brought
her to tears when he said
you know I wasn't alive for the French
revolution but I know about it
by the way I really like Megan
McCain. Should you put your
leaf sheet on? I'm not
you were just saying in that moment
I mean, I don't know if this is bad for your shot.
Oh.
Can you reach it?
Okay.
Yeah.
It's fucking doing anything.
It's weird that it just popped off.
I'm a Marine.
Were you in a Marines now?
I was like, wow.
I would be worried for the country.
I'm only a Marine compared to Gen Z.
Compared to them, I am a Marine.
And I'm not even a Marine.
Have you...
Did you ever think about joining the military?
No.
I was very lucky.
I was, came up draft age the year before they stopped the draft.
A year before?
Yeah, in 1973, I was 17 and kids were still going to Vietnam, although we were wrapping the war up.
But not at 17.
But I would have had to have registered the next year for the draft.
Normally you had to register for the draft at 18.
They stopped at the very year I turned 18.
So I came, you know, very lucky.
I came of age right when you didn't have.
have to do it. Were you panicked about it or stressed or no you were just thought this is what
it is? No, because by 73 we were only withdrawing troops. We were not sending new troops. We had
signed the treaty. Nixon was the best salesman before Trump who ran in 68 on the pledge of
I will end the war in Vietnam and did not and then ran again in 72 on the same pledge but then did
or it just came to an end
no he pulled out
and then of course the Vietnamese took over
the North Vietnamese took over so the whole thing was
pointless but
I was not worried about it
at that age because we were
drawing the war
it was winding down so it was just the perfect age
you want to become
military fodder
right after a war
because it's going to take a while for
something to generate
generations usually take a pause before
they go back. Again, one good thing about Trump, he really, really does not like war.
Which I love that about him.
I kind of do, because I don't want war either, and most of them are unnecessary.
I agree.
I mean, he took a long time when I had that dinner with him talking about the pictures he sees coming from Ukraine, the stuff that doesn't get out on the news.
It's like raw footage of bodies in the field.
Yes.
And you could tell it really moved him.
It does.
Like, I do not want to see this, and I can, I'm kind of guy who can fix this, at least, you know, he, he's never not going to be Trump.
So, of course, he's like, I solved nine wars.
You know, okay, even if it's half that, it's still good that we're solving them and not starting them.
That's the thing that I find that I really like about President Trump when he talks about wars and talks about Ukraine.
And he talks about Ukraine and Russia, and he will say they're losing people on both sides.
And it's not just Ukraine is losing people.
It's not just Russia is losing people.
He sees like both sides.
This is a lot, a true loss for both sides.
And you can feel it from him when he talks about that loss.
I mean, I do.
The problem with that one is that he's up against truly the devil.
You know, Putin is as close to Satan as you can get.
I mean, he's just, he's a cold, dead-eyed shark in the water.
And he just, he plays Trump.
He's like, oh, sure, let's have a peace meeting in Alaska, sure, great.
What a great place to meet and have lunch.
And, you know, and he left before the lunch.
Did you know that?
No.
And Trump.
But I doubted that he would, he's flying to Alaska to have lunch.
Like, I can't wait to get there to see what they're serving for lunch.
That was probably, like, last on his list of things to do there.
Yeah, but, I mean, he was supposed to stay for the lunch.
That just tells you something about Putin and how he thinks of the United States
and how we can deal with them, which is like, you know, I'm going to do what I'm going to do.
Yeah.
I'm going to take a peace, if not all of Ukraine.
and I'm going to string you along
and I'll go to your summit meetings
and we'll pretend to talk
and then I won't even stay for the lunch
Trump stayed for the lunch
he said to the waiter
how's the blubber
and the waiter said we serve everybody
how much
by the way
if I
I can just see
like journalists out there going
Belmar said
I'll stay for the blubber
of course
like would you're
When you're talking to people, are you thinking...
They're just the worst.
They only...
Because they don't...
I just did a whole piece on this
because the Fox News and the New York Post
printed half of an editorial I did.
They went all over town on how great I was
to take on the left
and completely left off the part
where I was taking on the right.
And that's what they always do.
That's every week.
So if I started to work...
It goes both ways.
I said that too.
Because, by the way, I was with my niece, Kaylee, and we were looking at, you know, headlines and whatever.
And some people are still talking about the view.
And it's interesting the coverage of that appearance on the view because a big part of people's criticism of Bobby is that he's not a medical doctor.
And on the view, I said 90% of secretaries of HHS have not been medical doctors.
So you can see when somebody prints an article, if they don't print my response, but just print, you know, whoever said, your husband's not qualified.
He's not even a doctor.
You see, oh, okay, they're only printing that side.
They're not printing the response that it's just like where you're talking about.
I mean, I did a lot of editorials during the pandemic that the woke did not like, that were more on Bobby's page.
Okay, I just did another spit take.
I was not on, I mean, I am not an anti-vaxxer.
He sat here and we talked for a very long time about a very many topics.
He cried.
He cried?
When he was here, yes.
Why?
Talking about his father.
I mean, I didn't purposely, as you can see, I have no agenda or thought in my head beyond.
No, you don't plan.
You're not planned any of this.
obvious. No, when I did this, I said, I have a show where I do where I plan. This is no plan.
No, this is. So, I mean, I don't know how we got on it. But, I mean, he was very real and it was very, but, you know, I did say to him, you know, something anti-vaxxer and he said, you think that's what I am. And I'm like, well, I could show you. I could show you things you've said that would certainly make a person to think that, you know.
Yeah.
But I also was on the page during the pandemic that we were overreacting to something that could have better been, certainly we should not have been an outwire country as far as not acknowledging natural immunity, which we were.
That's crazy.
And that does, to me, look like people who are saying, look.
No matter what.
We will get the vaccine in you.
Yeah.
Whether you needed or not.
No matter what, we don't care if you already have.
had COVID and you have natural
immunity, you are getting this
vaccine. It's for the sake of everybody.
But just
scientifically it's wrong.
I mean, there's nothing more sort of
bargain basement medicine
than natural
immunity is the best.
Well, that's why Bobby and I had.
That's where we sometimes
go.
You don't think natural
immunity? No, I do. But I'm
always saying to him,
You have to think about people's feelings when you're talking about this.
And, you know, if somebody has, let's say for this, not that this natural immunity came up,
but if somebody already has natural immunity, but somebody, the government is telling them,
you still have to get the vaccine, their feeling is, I still need to get the vaccine.
I said, so let's look at the feeling of that person.
And he's like, this is the science.
They don't need it.
They already have immunity.
I know, but they have feelings about it.
It's like, it doesn't matter.
Well, this is what I said about.
Politicians talk to their wives.
Yeah.
The good ones.
Yeah.
Because they, you know, I've never quite been on the page of, you know,
men are from Mars, or women or from Venus.
But sometimes they are.
Yeah.
Sometimes we are.
You know why?
And you kind of have to hear it.
Because.
Bill, women by nature.
Women by nature are nurturers.
Yes, yes.
And we, you know what?
We bear the children.
We feel the responsibility.
Not that men don't,
but we are connected to the universe
in a way that men might not be.
We feel the weight of that.
So we feel the, we feel the intensity of other people's feelings.
And I'm generalizing.
People are already going to town.
But generally, because we have, we're thinking about the children.
We're thinking about our family.
How is this going to affect the whole family?
How is this going to affect?
You know, so, and I'm generalizing.
Some but not all.
Okay, but I don't let you continue in a second,
but I don't need to keep qualifying.
I just want to say mature people understand
that no comment about anything important
is done without some generalization.
That's what mature people do.
Immature people find the one outlier
and try to make that a thing.
How do you?
I'm a single dad.
But that's not what mature people do or serious academics do.
They have to go by,
majorities and statistics yes majorities and statistics so just wanted to get that shot in at those
assholes i fucking hate because but i know it just such because those are the people that are
like how do you don't know my situation bad faith you know what bad faith means means you don't
really believe it yourself but you can get idiots to believe it that's bad faith
if you say it loud enough or enough times then people will believe it but smash some shit
tonight.
But, yes,
men and women's different
opinions, because, you know.
I started with a comic named
Mark Sunder. He had a great joke. He said,
yeah, every Sunday night I can get
in bed with my girlfriend and we
make love and then watch my favorite show.
59 minutes.
You're like, well, okay,
I get it. I get it. Yeah.
But, yes, it's important
that you...
Watch things together.
that you like or that you agree on that that you vibe on that time of togetherness it's true i agree with
that it's very often before you go to sleep yeah and you want to unwind and you want to and you just want to be
on the same page and you don't want it's not a time for fighting like oh can we watch this it's like
i don't want to negotiate no i know i know i keep trying to get bobby to watch murder and he doesn't
want to he's like why do i want to watch murder said i don't know it's relaxing
Yeah, now that is a female thing.
It is important.
You tell me, okay, I'll tell you.
Why are women so fucking interested in murder?
I'll tell you why, Bill.
Because I think when it's presented to us, you know, in an hour form or even a mini series, people call it that, no, limited series.
It's like, here's what's, here's what happened.
It's usually a guy, let's be honest.
I'm usually a female murderer.
No.
Usually a guy.
Oh, because in life it is.
It's a guy.
Yes.
So it's a super weird guy.
Men are murderers.
Who murders.
Let's just say it.
Who men are?
Not all men are murderers, but if you are a murderer, you're probably a man.
a hundred percent
and women are nurturers
so I'm not saying who's better
but it doesn't matter
but so
okay so
there's somebody serving up murder
in an hour form right
or two hours
like it's it's a
what I think
what's one of them
not nightline
primetime no
time time no
2020 or something like that
and they're like here's
date line thank you
you're like here's what happened
yeah
murder on Elm Street, like you've never seen murder.
Who was it?
You don't know.
Could have been the husband.
We don't know.
You're watching going, it was the husband.
And then you watch it, and the husband thinks he's getting away with it, and he doesn't.
And it is always the husband?
Almost always.
It's almost always.
Yeah, almost always.
Well, that's how the police view it.
Right, of course.
The police view it that way.
Right.
It's not just people in show business.
The police are going to say, first thing, check out the husband.
Yeah, or the ex-husband.
They were on a cruise.
What a lover.
Somehow she fell overboard.
He felt.
They're speaking my language.
It's a Friday night for me, and I'm just like, she fell overboard.
She didn't fall off her board.
Well, we know that, like, on cruise ships, a lot of the accidents, I think now with cameras, it's less likely.
but like for there was a there was a for murderers there was a golden window of time when you could
like get away with a touch take your girl on a cruise and be like tell her honey i love you so much
i want to take you on a cruise yes and then use the moon can you believe this few to kill her
i'm king of the world yeah you're queen of the bottom of the sea bitch
And then
And then
2020
Not what did you say
It was called?
Prime Time. No, nightline.
Nightline.
Nightline.
Yeah.
Date line.
And then date line.
And then date line.
Yeah.
And then it's like women got wise.
Like, why are you taking me on this cruise
and why do you want me to look at the moon
at the end of the boat?
And where are you sitting behind me?
I would like to see you
you know so it's like
well if you're already at the point where you're that
suspicious if you don't want
your man to stand behind you while
you're looking at the mood it's not a bigger
problems not a good relationship but that's like
that's why women like these shows
because it's like he
did it he
we found out he did it
and you guys are not
you guys are not getting away with it anymore
and you go to bed feeling like great
and Bobby's like
how do you feel good
about the murder
you don't get it
you're a guy I don't know
you make him watch that no he won't
watch it yeah that so I
secretly
I don't keep it a secret from it but if he's
doing something else
then I will
that's for you that's fair
that's my joy
murder is your private joy
murder let me have murder
you should have murder
yeah I don't need you
sitting next to me being angry about murder
when I'm just relaxing to it.
Yeah, it's like asking to share the vibrator.
I mean, like, that's your thing.
Oh, my God.
It's your thing.
Bill.
Why would...
Oh, my God.
I really did it this time.
I really...
You sound like Lucy.
Oh, I really did it this time.
Lucy, you really did it this time.
To the moon, Lucy.
That really got me.
Don't you love 50s TV where you could threaten to punch your wife in the face
and it was considered...
acceptable. I was cute.
Alice, if you're annoying me
one more minute, I'm going to
punch you. To the road.
I mean, I feel like
is my mascara running?
No, you look fantastic.
Would you know if I didn't?
What do you mean?
If my mascara was running
in your state of mind, do you feel like,
you'll be like, well, it is,
but it still looks okay.
Or would you feel like, no, it is.
Honestly, and I'm not saying this,
blow smoke up your leather but you are one of the few people I've ever met who like looks better
in person than you do on the screen not that you don't look good on the screen but like you look
different in person and it's not worse it's very rare usually they use the they use the artifices
to like you know enhance it look better yeah well that's interesting you look thinner
Interesting.
Well, they say the camera does it at 10 times.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
And sometimes people maybe think I look taller in person.
Because you don't know how tall somebody is when it's just like head and shoulders.
Hell it's a Tom Cruise.
No.
I mean, but he's kind of diminutive, right?
I don't know.
I've never met him in real life.
And by the way, it doesn't even matter because he's doing.
No, but he is, I think he is short.
I mean, I'm 5'8.
I think he's shorter than me.
Have you ever met him, though?
Yeah, once at a party.
I told him how much I loved Night and Day.
Well, I remember Night and Day.
What Cameron Diaz?
So great.
It's just such a great kind of overlooked movie by the, yeah, I mean, like the snobs didn't
like it for some reason, but it's just like a great sort of romantic caper kind of movie.
Yeah, I remember like that movie.
It's just two old pros who know how to do their job in movies and doing it well and a great sort of fun, you know, it's just escapism.
Yeah.
But on an elegant level.
Yeah.
You can do it elegantly.
Yeah.
You know, and.
I mean, he's always pretty elegant.
I love Tom Cruise as a movie story.
Yeah, because he...
Oh, he's amazing.
He takes the responsibility.
Very much so.
Yeah, seriously.
Yes.
for the whole planet also you don't think that about christian like a christian actor you don't feel like
well huh like i would like to see i would like to rewire their brain to get that one thing different
oh i see what you're saying yeah because it's like but you feel that about yeah that's a very good
point i mean it's just because it is just as nutty you're right it is just as nutty to think that
Jesus was, I mean, if he even was a historical figure, which is not certain but possible,
it's like a 50-50.
Okay, say he was a historical figure.
There was a guy Jesus.
Yeah, to think that he reanimated after he was dead, that is as crazy as Zeno.
You're right.
You're totally right.
We're just used to it.
Yeah, we're just used to it.
We're just used to it, and it's more mainstream.
Right.
So who cares what somebody else is.
for actually doing
lobotomies on people, but
you know, I mean...
It's just such a different
idea that it's hard to
I mean, Scientology
to me is a little
worse because it came much later.
Christianity, you could make the excuse
like Judaism and Islam.
And you see the artwork that goes
back. Well, it came at the pre-
scientific era.
The scientific era only
started about 400 years ago, when people believed in science,
when they stopped thinking the sun revolved
around the other planet.
What if that is the truth?
What if the science is the truth?
Now, this is Bobby talking.
I mean, we definitely should always be debating
what the science is.
That's one thing I-
Are we talking about religion now,
or are we talking about something else?
We're talking about both.
Okay.
Because they both apply.
But you're saying we should always be debating.
That's what science means debating.
That's where I'm with him.
Okay.
It's like, you know.
Because it's always changing, too.
It's always changing.
Well, who's to say that this has been settled?
Exactly.
No, that's where I've always had his back.
And I've done, and I've taken the shit from doing my editorials about it, especially during COVID.
And even before COVID, they hated me as an, they called me an anti-vaxxer.
And I was like, I'm not an anti-vaxxer.
That's not what I'm.
I am. I'm just a pro
skepticism about anything medical.
Any medical intervention. Why can't we ask
question? I'm very special. Yeah, especially since you
got, my thing was always like, don't look at me because you're wearing a white
code with your name printed on it in stitching.
Like, I have, I'm God and I have the answers. When have we ever been
wrong? Because my answer is a lot. You've been wrong a lot.
So am I going to listen to Bobby Kennedy? Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Does that obligate me to believe everything he says?
No, but I don't believe everything you say either.
Yeah, let's see.
Let's see it.
And I have a lot of evidence in the past, more than about him, about how you were wrong.
Yeah.
I mean, big tobacco.
Oh.
We've got.
Big pharma.
Big farm?
I mean, they paid $8 billion to the Sackler.
The Sackler family did who were, you know, obviously you can buy a lie.
Yeah.
in big farm and kill
a lot of people and get away
with it by paying a fine. But don't
come to me with the when have we ever
been wrong. Right.
And a lot of it, most of it is not
because of corruption, that is.
Corruption is part of it, but most
of it is just because they just don't
fucking know. Well, I was just talking about
that the other day about
pregnant women getting x-rayed
back in the 50s.
Because that was
leading technology and
And they could see where the baby was and wealthy mothers were doing it because it was the best health care you could have.
And then, you know, there were studies done.
It's like, oh, there's a link to wealthy women and children's cancer.
But my mother drank during her pregnancy because of course she did.
Ellen Ames.
Help me get me through this.
What is L&M's?
And did it affect me?
No.
Not a bit.
Look at you.
No.
But that had nothing to do with it.
But, yeah, I mean, you know, look.
But yeah.
And then so, you know, then there was a connection made.
Radiation from x-rays is causing childhood cancer.
Right.
And then when they came out with that.
Which makes sense.
Makes sense.
But people were.
outraged at the finding and they said that can't be true because we're doing the best we can for our patients the mothers were doing the best they could for their babies and it took 20 years until the u.s and europe stopped doing it because they just couldn't get there they couldn't imagine that they're doing something i just wish bobby could stop saying the things i can't defend so that i could more the
vociferously defend the things I want to.
You know what I mean?
Do you have something in mind?
Or is this...
No, but in general, you know what I mean?
Well...
Because some things I can't.
And he goes too far from me.
And it's a...
You know, like, in the big picture, yes.
Do I think we needed a big shake-up?
and should we re-look at it, and a lot of the precepts that he is signed onto have been parts of my whole life
because, you know, I got with a holistic doctor 20-something years ago, and it just changes your way of viewing it and what you think is, you know, I mean, I've, I do not want to have certain products that have been homogenized or pasteurized, for example, because I want live bacteria because I want, I want.
I don't want to kill the bacteria, the good bacteria, with the bad bacteria.
Yeah.
I agree that it would make it completely safe because you've killed all the bacteria,
but then you're denying the healthful factor part of it.
And as a free citizen, I should be able to say, well, I will take that risk.
I want that bacteria.
Because I want that bacteria.
And you don't know my personal health background and what I may have gone through,
because I don't ever publicize that shit.
Lots of other people do,
and I don't think that's a bad thing.
I'm not judging that.
Like their health situations are all with them.
Absolutely.
Wait, come here.
I feel like you have a little...
Yeah, we'll get rid of it.
I don't know what.
Oh, I know what it is.
Probably ash.
Wait, don't go anywhere.
I've made it worse.
Here, can I do this?
I want to...
Sorry.
Mom.
I'm being a total mom.
Okay, yeah, I think I get it.
I went inside a pot dealer, and it's like his wife did not want him to be doing it.
And he's like, I can't, you know, be cool because my wife's, you know,
she thinks I'm still doing it the whole pot thing.
And she came in and she was yelling at him for potty.
He said, honey, I don't smoke potty anymore.
You said, Peter, there's a leaf in your teeth.
I can, I can see it.
Yeah, yeah.
Potage.
You got a little ash.
you know no i know listen but it's hard to be a um i think it's hard to be a change speaker
totally nobody wants nobody wants nobody wants change it's it's scary and it intimidates people
and it's the unknown you know it's uh hard for people to say no we don't want to we don't want to
we've got this this thing going and it's like like well
What if it's not a great team that you've got going?
Like, we have to make change.
And so, and, you know.
But he is kind of perfect for the Trump administration
because he kind of fits in with what I think of the template,
which is got the right idea about a bunch of things
that need reform.
But the way you're doing it, I can't go on.
I mean, I can go on part of the way and then you lose me.
But that's not your thing.
We don't have to talk about that.
No, that's okay.
I mean, it's interesting here, and once again, I think it's interesting being on the inside,
looking out, right?
Because I'm seeing it from a different perspective.
Right.
Because you only have so much time to make change.
You're right.
And so when, oh, yeah, I'm just going to say this to you.
Because it's just the two of us in this.
no one's listening
but when
Biden was in
was president
you know we didn't see him
I didn't see him I didn't
I wasn't feeling any sort of
movement or movement forward and I thought
he was
and I thought oh
maybe that's where we are now
our president is just sort of a figurehead
like
like the queen of England
or the king of England
it's just a person that's like this is who
we voted for
and so
I sort of got used
to that idea of oh this is a person
in the background
so then and by the way
until recently
I couldn't have told you one name
of a secretary of HHS
never in my life have I ever been
concerned myself with
the secretary of HHS
but now I know
names I know what they've done
I know their history
or their qualifications
but so
when President Trump got into office again
you know
he's a change maker
Bobby's a change maker
and they are like
we only have a certain amount of time
to get stuff done
we're going to get it done
and whether you'd like it or not
a lot of people don't like it
a lot of people love it
they're making changes
which is hard to do in politics
it's hard to do in policy
inertia is more
more relevant usually than
either party no and by the way
we've all known red dye
what is it red dye 20
the red dye in food
oh red dye number two
is the number two
yeah
that it is
Yeah.
It's been known to cause cancer.
We've known this for a very long time.
You know what?
I mean, that whole thing, I'm with him totally, but I got to say, the idea that I would ever
eat anything that had red dye number two in it, it's just like, like, I don't need
this fucking law, because I'm not going to eat red dye number two products anyway.
But you know why?
And I'm not, I'm not finger pointing.
But it's because you don't have kids when you have kids.
kids. It's a responsibility that you have. That's one reason I don't have kids because you can't
raise kids, unfortunately, uh, in a vacuum. You raise them in society. And so you have to live by
the mores and the ideas of the other people in society who their kids are going to, uh, but that's
what that's why. And I would, I would just be the bad parent with the scissors in my head who's going
to stab you in your leather pens because you were like, because I can't raise.
the my kid the way I want to because everybody else gets to fucking saying it which was
not the way where I was raised no nobody else got to say no no it's just that
everything nobody ever stops in the middle with the pendulum it always goes to like no
it really you know no it really right yes isn't that the biggest fucking that's what
happened in the last administration it really it swung really far and
Biden really, I think, affected my feelings about age.
Because I always have been.
About age?
Yes, because I've, for a very long time, been, I think, a voice against ageism.
I think this is a very ageist country.
Yes.
And my point was always, I'm not saying there's not a time to go off into the great pasture or whatever.
But it's a case by case.
And that is still my point.
Yes.
So don't automatically make a rule like at 75.
Some people at 75 are good.
I mean, I had Barbara fucking Eden here.
Right there, I dream of Jeannie.
She's 94.
Really?
She looks like you and she talks like you.
There's no betrayal of age at all.
Okay, and some people are old at 50.
I've known people are old at 50.
Right.
Who've given up on life.
Right.
Just like you turn on the TV and just like, I'm just going to do this until I die.
And physically also.
Yeah.
I mean, at my age, you can look, people look a lot worse than me at 70 because they stayed in the sun.
Let me swallow before you.
I can't, I can't.
I can't.
I can't take another.
Uh-oh.
I'll hear you.
You must make a joke.
Finally.
Thank you, Jesus.
Thank you.
Thank you. I found one. Okay, go ahead. What were you saying? No, what were you saying?
No, I... It was important. No, I did not want to do a spit-tick.
No, we were talking about ageism, and you were saying, and we were talking about Biden, and we were talking about...
Oh, because I have always been, I would say this, you know, avenging angel against ageism, and I still am there.
but the Biden experience showed me that it's easy when you're, you know, in highfalutin positions of power,
which I am not the president, but, you know, I am God in my universe in a show on him.
Yeah, I mean, I'm, I could see people like trying to, like, keep me, like, a P.
Like, weekend at Bernie me, you know.
You can still do.
Yeah, I got a mortgage to pay.
For that reason, I am acutely aware of my own prowess or lack of it.
So, like, when the time comes, I will be there.
Who will be the person to tell you that?
I don't have to say.
I don't need one.
I will be that person.
That's what I'm saying.
I do know.
I do know.
Because Biden?
I do know.
Because Biden.
Well, but I'm just saying Biden made it acutely aware, it made me acutely aware that you can really get to this place where.
You kind of over us.
Well, you're just, I always said he can't run for president.
Could he be president?
Yes, he wasn't crazy or senile.
He could make decisions in small rooms of advisors, which is what a president needs to do.
But at a certain point, you are also the president who needs to, like, have a public face.
Yeah.
And show the people they have a leader.
Trump, you may hate him, you may hate every policy.
he does not look tired.
No, he is out there.
He is out there.
I mean, he's televising his cabinet meetings.
I don't know that anybody has done that.
Well, he's kicking ass and taking names.
Yeah, he's like, this is who I am.
This is who I am.
This is who you got.
And this is the shit that's been festering for a long time
that I am not going to keep let festering.
That's the part that's appealing to people.
Maybe that should be the name of our show.
Let's not.
Keep festering.
I like just festering.
I don't think we need the other part.
I think it gills the lily.
I think the word festering is always
attractive to people.
Start your day with festering.
Just festering.
Bill and Cheryl.
Hey, everybody.
It's 3 o'clock in the morning.
We're taping this early.
Nothing's going to happen from 3 to 6th.
We all know that.
I think we should start every Monday
broadcast with asking about
what was festering in your weekend
you know what I would do this in one
second
we can start on the way that is what you actually should do next
you should do a talk show
I don't know where like a morning show
or just like I'm not
I'm not even talking about
you know podcasts and you know they're great
I'm talking about old fucking TV
I think
that old fucking TV still lives
on I know it's not
the newest thing but you know what it's still you know it's like murder well like murder people love
you know they tune yeah uh Warren Buffett you know the smartest investor ever and he was always like
okay you guys you know make fun of me and then I always invest in things like railroads and toilet
paper well you're chasing the latest high tech things and I'm like yeah but you know what people
still need to wipe their ass and they need something to get it to them that'll let
them wipe their ass so i'm going to invest in that yeah uh so tv is not dead i agree tv is not dead
people want people still wouldn't connect i i mean i couldn't live without a tv i know i like tv it's a big
thing at the end of my bed yeah i like it i like it oh are you like no i'm bill i meant are you
hoping that i will say oh a big thing the end of the bed i don't i only meant it literally and then i
And then you heard yourself.
And you were like, now that I said it.
It's a big thing at the end of my bed.
And I wanted to be big, and I want it to be at the end of my bed.
I feel like appointment television, that's a laurel that few people can, like, put around their neck.
I have a little bit of that left.
There are still people who really want to watch my show.
You know why?
When it comes on on Friday night, like as it comes on.
It was live for almost all its run.
The pandemic made us not do it live because it was too dangerous.
Too dangerous.
I mean, it was so stupid.
To get together.
There was so much material in the pandemic.
I mean, there was so much stupidity and so much hypocrisy.
I mean, it was a fucking, if you couldn't hit that with a comedic arrow, it was a barn door.
Right.
Like the restaurant shit.
Remember going to restaurants in parking lots?
Like, I'm in a parking lot.
And then I found out because once, soon after the pandemic,
I had to take a commercial flight.
I know.
That sounds like I was spoiled asshole.
I know.
Me too, and I'm going to write a memoir about it.
That's what my whole book is about.
My private plane got broke.
And so I had to fly on a commercial airline.
And when I saw how much they pack the people together,
and I thought, you mean, during this whole time,
pandemic when we were all like going to the restaurants in the parking lot and wearing masks
when we go to the bed. During this whole thing, you were letting the planes fly because I was on
one of these planes and I saw what it was like and there was no and you could take the mask off
to eat. This is so ridiculous that you think you were and then people get off the plane
and disperse. You could not devise a better method to make sure.
sure the virus wasn't spread around the country and yet i'm eating in the parking lot yeah no i know
it's in it's also in my book i talk about that at my book because it was like because at that time
during during the pandemic you know that's when bobby was really questioning these
types of um protocols yeah protocols and uh distancing distancing i mean all of it was proved to be
a bunch of bullshit.
Now, some of it was, yes, at the beginning,
we didn't know what it was.
But there definitely was a point
at which we could have been like...
Pivoted.
Pivoted.
Right. Because at the beginning, because at the beginning,
nobody knew. And it was like, we've never seen this before.
And everybody was on board, and it's like, wow,
we have never seen this before.
And then as the time went on,
you could watch some of the governors,
which once again, insider, looking out,
learning about, you know, I really am understanding
what governors do as opposed to
so you watch some of the governors.
They really do. So state to state, you watch them
make decisions about their state. We're going to stay
locked down, Newsom, we're going to stay locked down.
Everybody, you know, a social
distance, we're going to keep the schools locked down,
the businesses locked down. And then you had other
governors, and I only know this.
I went to Florida as soon as they could.
And so, me too.
I felt like a different world.
California, I felt like I was in Attica.
That is.
Like boarded up windows, and it's like, please.
I know.
Eating in the parking lot.
Yeah, this is going to change a lot.
I'm in the parking lot, you fucking assholes.
Well, the same.
I went to Florida because my whole family lives in Florida.
And when I got there, like my sister and I went to, I don't know, Target or something like that.
And I got my mask out.
And she said, what are you doing?
I said, oh, I'm just, you know, get my mask out.
She goes, nobody does that.
Like, you don't have to do that here.
And I was like, really?
That's crazy.
And, you know, I walked through and some people had a mask on, which is fine.
If that's what you want to do and that makes you feel more comfortable, then do that.
But the difference between, you know, DeSantis and Newsom was, like, stark, right?
and you have
and even people on the beaches in
in California
beaches were the best way
no but people were still required to wear a mask
I understand
and that's in Florida it was like
no go out to the beach and like
get some sun
again sun and fresh air
as opposed to staying
inside and day drinking
which is going to make
everybody put on like 15 pounds
the worst thing in an epidemic
that killed two kinds of people
to people old and fat.
Old and fat.
And that's what was weird.
It was like, so you would think in that moment that people be, or the country or, you know,
the governors or whomever would say, oh, okay, people need to be at a healthy weight to survive COVID,
to survive anything.
I suggested make it a national challenge.
You love challenges on TikTok.
you know, hey, here's the stick something up your ass challenge.
Great.
It's what all the kids are doing.
Here, you know, eat horse manure challenge.
Okay.
Do that.
How about something?
You know what?
We're in a pandemic which kills obese.
The fat or you were, the worst chances you had.
Let's all lose 15.
No.
And they never even mentioned it.
No, no, never.
So don't expect my respect for you government.
If you can't even mention a key factor,
I did editorials about that.
Of course, the usual suspects aided me for that
because we were still in the age of body positivity.
Was there ever a more Orwellian idea
than that fatness is positivity?
It's, you know, like, it is, you know, it is, you know,
that being said, as a woman.
Who's not fat?
what okay but hey you know the idea that you're judging somebody by how they look i'm not judging
them i know but if somebody's but if somebody's beauty's in the eye of the beholder science is not
in the in the now you sound like bobby because it's like science is not in the well i would yes
because bobby's like uh if only he would always go by the science he does
Not always, not always, but we don't forget into minutia.
But, but, no, I mean, beauty, yes, I mean, absolutely.
Everybody should enjoy what they enjoy.
Yeah, you don't have to be, but that's talking about the pendulum swinging.
So the pendulum was swinging to body positivity.
Like, I weigh through 100 pounds and I'm okay with it, so you should be okay with it.
I'd just say when the pendulum was swinging to body positivity, and somebody said, I weigh 300 pounds.
Oh, okay.
It shouldn't bother you.
Right.
It doesn't.
Right.
It doesn't.
But is it healthy?
I don't.
But no, that's what I mean about the science is not in the eye of the behold.
The science doesn't care about your feelings.
The science is, and I did an editorial about this before COVID.
I said this was like a year before COVID.
And James Corden attacked me viciously.
Very similar to Wade, who's his attacked you?
Very similar.
Like a real nasty.
Really?
Yes.
Like, you know, he should like, you know, he's worrying about the shit we put in our mouth.
He should worry about the shit that comes out of his mouth.
You know, kind of like.
And it's such an easy argument to make.
And all I was doing was presenting the facts.
I was saying this was during the, I think, the 2018 campaign
of midterms and the Democrats were debating each other.
And the big issue was health care.
And I just said, you can talk about health care
until you're blue in the face
and which person has the better program.
It will never get solved until you enlist the help
of the people themselves in making their health better.
And the fact that you won't even mention
the obesity issue because it would offend people,
then you have no, I don't respond.
you. And then I gave the statistics. It's like, even before COVID, obesity affects everything
in your health really badly. From eyesight to depression. Like everything is affected. So, of course,
when a pandemic came around, it was going to take the fatties first. I'm so glad I was not drinking
where you said that. Thank you. Thank you. This is a show for a truth. This is a truthful show.
and on the very old, you know.
And if I was a fat old person, I would get the vaccine too.
Which, by the way, people that were vulnerable,
those are the people that should have gotten the vaccine
and people who had natural immunity, who already had it,
who were in great health, who, you know,
maybe they, maybe we should have taken a step back and said,
you're already healthy, you're going to be okay, you don't need this.
And it's not even saying you're against it.
Right.
The mature answer is that, of course, medical interventions,
especially of the last hundred years, are valuable.
I don't want to live in a world without antibiotics.
I also don't want to take antibiotics.
If I don't have to.
But if I don't, yeah, right.
But if I have to, I'm very glad they're around.
Right.
I don't want to have a vaccine unless I really feel.
I have to.
There are things out there that I would, like, fight you for the vaccine, you know?
But COVID.
No, I'm just.
That was a bad joke at your expense.
I love a bad joke at my expense.
That's what makes this show work.
That's why we're number one in the morning.
What is it called?
Number one.
That's what it's called number one, lady.
No, what's the name of our show?
It's a terrible name, a fester.
Oh, Fester.
Don't let it fester.
Just fester.
We had another name before that.
Yeah, we had another name.
But I mean, we'll never know because we're drunken stone.
And when we've reviewed the tape,
Bill, here's what we're going to know.
When we watch this tape back, which neither one of us will do, ever.
We're going to know that we're going to have a morning show.
It's only going to be on Mondays for some reason.
No, Mondays.
And it's going to be, and we're going to shoot it.
So Monday's is the day that we ask how, if your weekend included festering.
Festering.
But, you know, these are just ideas.
No.
They're just ideas.
We're going to shoot it at three in the morning because we figure that nothing is going to happen from three till six, nine the next day.
And we're going to predict what's going to happen the next day.
And we're going to say, here's what's probably happening today.
Here's what's probably happening today.
and then we'll give our best guesses
but we'll probably be right.
It's actually a good idea.
It's actually a great idea.
I wish I could remember the name of our show
to just let it fester.
Don't let it fester.
This is what festered.
All right, I'm going to squash the fester part of it.
That was...
It's not attractive.
It's not.
But the first one was more attractive.
I don't remember what that one was, but it was...
It's on tape somewhere.
But spit take.
We could call it.
By the way, there were three spittakes in this show.
That's where I know it was a good time.
Well, thank you.
I've kept you here, I'm sure, longer than I should have.
I would love to just keep talking to you.
I would, too.
I just, I could feel the crew getting restless.
They're like, literally rapping.
It's time to go home.
We have to go to the bathroom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I could do it all night.
But, okay.
That's what I've heard of.
about you. Good night, everybody. Hey. Okay. All right. Oh, and if you haven't heard by
now, unscripted by Cheryl Hines, it's, it's so engrossing. I read it well. You have not,
but you know what? I just got it. I'm going to read it. I'm not going to read
Kamala. You know, there's a... There's an audio version, too, if you just want to listen,
while you're making spaghetti.
I would never do that.
Really?
I like, no.
You like the words?
I like, yeah.
