Club Random with Bill Maher - David Spade | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

Bill Maher and the hilarious David Spade on finding a woman who likes your sense of humor, what prevented Bill and David from “going all the way to Baghdad” in a relationship, Bill’s role in Woody Harrelson’s controversial SNL monologue, the phony posturing of the fake courageous, stories from clubs, pretty privilege for guys, the enduring genius of Nicholas Cage, and that very tricky next move after coming off of SNL. 

I always want to see you more, but you're so rare. You make yourself so rare. What are you doing so important? You're so rare. What are you doing? You have to be so rare. You never come out with all those comics. You never do.

You know what's funny? We're not with me. Two things. I come by this for Constreet when I used to live up here for 15 years. So I know this street back and forth. And so I didn't know he lives here. Other than that, that's a great story.

We use that as a clip. And when I saw you in Hawaii, people don't know. To the people at home, you do a show in Hawaii. No, last year, this was the last time. It last like, hold the plug. You did the first year of comics on board. It was so great. You and Jeff Ross. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was 2014, I think. Is that what it was? Yeah, it was fucking fun. It was cool, right? It was really fun. Because you know, your friend group of... Yeah. ...is the coolest guy.

What is funny, right? Sean Panady, that trip. And the crew I take, I mean, it was 12 years, I did it, it was great. And I got to spend time with people like you and Jeff like I never would because, I don't know, what are you doing? Why you hide? Why you shy? Why you, you know what it is you're? Why you hide? Where are you shy?

Why are you looking? You know what it is you're with girls, right? I'm so coquettin'. How did you get to be? You're like the Pete Davis of your generation. All right? You kind of are. Like the guy everybody goes, wow,

how did he get all those girls? It's always how, it's so horrible. It's always starts with how. No one can figure out the fucking Rubik's cube. It doesn't always start with how. Sometimes it starts with what? Yeah. I remember one of them said I had a big Wang in some interview and people

like, oh, and I go, you know she's just saying this because people are baffled. So it's just to make up something. Like, oh, but what is it? It's begging. All right, but Stand outside yourself. Yeah, and what would you say it is? Like if you have to actually answer that okay, push in I'm gonna do a long speech. The thing about me that's pushing. Of course you. So I, well, you know, if you can't get them on the Great Looks to Farm in which drives

me crazy because I would rather be better looking if I could. But I think if not, you know, we're all comics, I don't think it would help any of us to be like stunning. I'm not including you in that. But, you know what I mean? Like, we have a sense of humor, but I will say, when people say they like a sense of humor, it's kind of like music, it's a little general.

So, you have to find a girl that likes your sense of humor. There's so many different types of comics. Yep. And they can say I love comedy and they can list three comics you don't like or funny. Right. Exactly. So are these movies you go. So or you say great does exactly so I I like girls that are obviously attractive to me but I also like when they're kind of light and funny and they don't have to be hilarious but they just have like a charm. They have to find you hilarious. And they have to find me hilarious.

That's, you don't care they're hilarious. Yeah, yeah. But it is wonderful to be the girl who actually does make you laugh. Yeah. I mean, I certainly have experienced that. And again, it's like, I don't know how to write, but this,

not as much as we do it. Yeah, exactly. There's a certain perfect amount. Sure. And it works for them too, because they're not comics. Right. And we're not always on either. We just stay have a lightness to them

or they kind of see the world like you do. It's just a fun moment. And they get the joke. Yeah. They get the jokes. That's it. Some people don't get the jokes, and they have to leave immediately.

You know what I mean? I met a girl that was from Ukraine and I go, there's a toddler in town. Someone's on joke. I go, Ukraine, okay. And she was, they have a seriousness built in and from that area. And I think I quite, but you know, Ukraine.

Well, it's shit, but people like that and then she taught me and I realized that the point was everything I say, or even throw away Joe, or even just mildly, it's not clicking. And that's, that ultimately will be the problem. It's not partly because of the language problem. It is partially that, and it's not their fault really. It is not their fault, and just the way can't blame anybody, I think, for what

they're taste is. You also can't blame somebody if they say, look, I can't be with someone who speaks English as a second language unless they're utterly brilliant. And I certainly have had that girl in my life who did not speak English as the first language and was so utterly brilliant She was better at the language than I and Never missed one reference one job, but it's rare because the language is a barrier and we use so many idioms Mm-hmm and we use so much twisting things and also references to growing up here and

Plus we're working with an age barrier because you and I both, Dave. Yes. Oh, yes. You think so dragging me in, but yeah. Well, it's true. I know. Well, we're like, there's no reason why we should apologize for being who we are and what we like.

Right. I think people don't like if there's an age difference with someone you date and that's... It's such hypocrisy. It's fine when Madonna does it. Or shit. She's 77 or 14, and I'm like, that's fine. I'm like, that's fine.

But it's true. It is fine. It's girl power. It's whatever work. I don't want to be shit. Yeah, when people, like after 18, you're in a doll, you guys date, I don't care. I have bigger problems.

I got bigger fish to fry. You know what? An appropriate age is one that works. Mm-hmm. If it works and everybody's happy, that's what's appropriate. One of my friends is female, single and she's 50, seven, she says, you know, I'll never date a guy under 40 and I'll never, I go, you can't do that

because you might meet the coolest guy in the world. Yeah. Who might be 39 or, you just don't know because it's hard enough if you've got the whole thing. You've got to pick up everybody. It's hard enough to get just one thing working. Look, first of all, in my experience, relationships work when people are more opposite than a like in the sense that

you bring just the relationship something the other person lacks. So, are you gonna be like most compatible with someone who's just like you? Not in my experience. I don't want someone just like me. I have me. Yes, and there's some women that are like, I don't need the greatest looking guy in the world because I'm already, I want to be the attractive one or I'm pretty and I don't want someone working out every day and preening and doing all that and they I think that's One way another way women are more interesting is that they can just say I like a vibe or a packet or something and that's where

Might work for me where they say this just the some of the parts might work, but did you ever get close to getting married? Yeah, I But did you ever get close to getting married? Mm, yeah. My problem is I don't know if I would, if it would work and I would, I'm obviously a mental problem. I'd be scared of, if I was living together, if I would not do well with it or if I was,

or if I ruined it or fell apart for whatever reason that if we hated each other, I've seen my friends or people I know that where they get divorced if we hated each other, I see my friends or people I know that where they get divorced and they hate each other and I go, that's tough, someone you're that into and it's just a grinding hate and you go, I would hate to have them hate me or I hate that.

It's just, it's almost just a fear. Obviously it's not normal. But I don't like hair, I just think. It's perfectly normal for you. There, for me. And that means I don't get I never refused to apologize for any of this. Yeah, you're feeling sheepish about that. I think everybody else is nuts I don't know how they do it and by the way most of them don't I mean they they're half of them get divorced and certainly Of the marriages that do stay together divorced and certainly of the marriages that do stay together, many of them are not what I would call happy.

Right. Some of them are like very like on the surface unhappy and some of them are just like, we have come to accept this sort of... Dismolix. No, you're here. When anyone's ever cheating or caught, they go, they get in front of it. We've been separate lives for a long time. We're basically divorced. It's not really that big of a deal.

And that's a tough one because it should be harder legally to get married than it is to get divorced. Because marriage is so easy. It should be very tough. Because when you get divorced, people I know, though, well, I've got the house with them. I've got this and we got the cars and we got to split up the electric.

It's just too hard and they say, we can just be fine. We'll live several lives. We all know being stars here in Hollywood and a listers at the... Okay. I mean, I didn't see it at the Metcala. No.

Because I didn't go. I didn't have a cat costume. Right. That's a funny look when you see it all in there. But we all know people like prominent people well to do, like, man-managers and agents and people like that as well as stars who've gotten divorced. And we know, being close to these people, that they went through a kind, a period of years. If they were lucky, it was only two years, but it could be five years of just this every day, hatred, and revenge. And, you know, just imagine you're paying for the lawyer

who's fucking you in the ass. That kind of thing. And also, this is the person you thought it was gonna be forever with. And so you opened up totally to them. So now they have the best kind of ammunition to use on you. Cause they know everything about you. That's scary too.

So I think this is what we both has prevented both of us from like going all the way to Baghdad as I call it with, you know, like, let me just invade Kuwait and kick them out of what we said and not go all the way to Baghdad. Because when you go all the way to Baghdad, you get bogged down. And then the next thing you know

that she and I are coming into your apartment and putting on electric drill deer brain. I mean metaphorically. It's happened? Oh yeah. It happened in Iraq. Well, I don't want to sound like I'm anti-anything about this.

I love the girls. You know, I have, I've had great relationships and I just, you know, fears of Rooney, let me get this out. You cut. You can't take anything out. Okay, I see. No, but you know, it's funny, you said agents. I was seeing someone just a few years back and then left me

for a big agent and I was like, oh, I just walked out in the middle and just said, yeah, I got this big agent. And I was like, woof. It's a rough. Were you very upset by it? That was, yeah. You were. So you really wanted that one to work?

I was working on it trying to make it work out. And I was didn't even get a chance. It was like, rip-cord pulled for me. But you know, I have, I have, I have a women of data task and it takes a long time for me to actually get to know someone and then you sort of find out what they're like when they're mad, when they're sad, when they're this, when that things are going well.

And over time you can find out, I can handle that because they go, oh, everyone's crazy. I'm crazy, we know that. So when I say, what crazy other person, we're both crazy, which one can I, that type of crazy I can deal with the most? And it's like, oh, that one, I'm not that worried about. I'm not gonna find you crazy.

I, I, I cloak it all right, but I'm not that bad for being a comic. You, we, You're not crazy. Why do you do that? It's like supermodels will go, yeah, I was a nerd. I thought, shut the fuck up. You're not crazy.

They're not nerds. Everybody, stop with the false modesty. You're not crazy. Everybody else is crazy. Yeah, when they say that to me now, I was a nerd. I go, you're still a fucking nerd to me. Well, take that out. You're a nerd who probably did 28 movies. Well, I'm okay with everything.

So, um, what was I gonna tell you? How many moves. No, I've done, I don't know. I've done TV show. I try to keep it moving. I did a tour this year, stand up tour. Do you ever go on tour tour or do this? You can't do it. I have to call it, I have to like rename just when I go out. I'm going to call it a tour because what's a tour? It's like, I'm in this city this day and this day. And it's helpful to sell it.

It was stupid that I have it. But I'm going to rename, but not rename, name. Because now, right, I just say, I'm in show out. I'm in, you know, I'm in fuck, I don't hear my plugs right now. June 3rd, I'm at the Metton Philadelphia, June 4th, the Win Creek Event Center, Bethlehem, June 16th and 17th.

Dump. At the MGM Grand in Vegas. Oh, yeah, what? Oh, I just in Vegas. I'm doing a thing in Vegas with Nikki Glazer. We do, we're doing three more this year. We just did last week. Here's how you know you're not crazy.

Everybody, you're like Woody Harrelson. Everybody who ever has worked with you, likes you. That's nice. People, like, look, I mean, you're a huge podcast. Oh yeah. You know, I mean, like some people don't. Wouldn't come out, yeah, yeah. Well, some people just, I'm not gonna name names,

but certainly even in the cast of SNL of that era Or not like you know because they are crazy. Yeah, some people who are crazy. I'm not gonna not all BFFs for sure I mean that is a it's a war zone and they always say don't compare it to the war because it's not I'm like well We all know it's not the actual war But you know you go down there you're basically Down there with people and it's a tough place. I like that you're such a pro-stoneery of scissors. Not just scissors.

These are my friend Dave gave me these. These are like, I call them circumcizers because it really, it gets right to the point. Well, let's see if it really. You know, when Woody, your boy, Woody did SNL. I think he tweaked up his monologue. I thought that was interesting. I've never seen that happen. Tweeted up?

Like he changed it. I worked on that with him. But I don't think he changed it. You'd be the one asked. I don't know if he changed it. I just know that that's not really the, you know, what they do there. Absolutely, it's not.

And I thought Woody was just cool because. Absolutely, it's not. And I thought what he was just cool because for comedy, do bullseye, for the host say whatever he wants, that's interesting. You know he and I are very close. Yeah. And I'm not just saying it for that reason, but what, for example, what an amazingly great guy. And what a bullsy move because, first of all,

it might get you adrenaline going on, I bet. Saturday night, live. I mean, that's the plot get adrenaline going on about Saturday night live. I mean, that's the plot of certain movies shows. It's live, they can't stop me. I'm gonna do this. And this guy didn't in real life. It was like, no, they can't because it is live. And I'm gonna tell this story.

Now, I didn't know how much they knew about what the ending of that story was, but it was also a brilliant way to make that point. And look, what do you and I have had just too many hours of discussions about vaccines and COVID and stuff. I would say we're 90% on the same page, but I certainly don't go as far as he does. But the theme that he was putting out there, I certainly am on that page of, we should be much more skeptical of pharmaceutical companies.

It's so funny when the Sackler family puts out these opioids. You know, that's one of the oxy-concent and they get sued and for $8 billion they have to pay. And everybody goes, oh, well, the Sackler family sure, pharmaceutical companies, billionaires, of course, corporate America, they can't be trusted. But when the same people are involved with, as Woody said, you know, okay, you're going to have to stay home until you take our drug. Yeah, that's not to say that COVID wasn't a real thing, or that the vaccine wasn't helpful

to millions of people who would have died without it. But it is a point that should be made, and the fact that he was able to or willing to put his considerable popularity, because, you know, he's a beloved figure, and say, I'm going to take the hit of some political capital by making this statement in this very high profile arena. I mean, you've got to give the guy props to that, even if you don't agree with it. Right, I wouldn't do it. I have no opinions. I don't even have opinion about this.

Oh my God. No, I love that what he did it because I watched it. And when it feels like it's off cards, like cue cards, where you think, and I've been there, you know, I work there, and the monologue is like, you know, sometimes it's written early enough to be in read through on Wednesday, and sometimes they throw it together on a Saturday.

My monologue got derailed when I went back to... That was right. ...to sound like it was in it, and it was the weekend Waterboy opened, we're going back a ways, but Waterboy was such a big hit. He had to go back to LA to do something. Because it was that weekend, it was blowing up. We were like, holy shit.

And this is one of our guys, you know? Right. And it was so big and he goes, I got bad, I got to go. And I'm like, oh, he's in my monologue and I'm already in 13 sketches. He's going, what's my monologue? And they go, well, Lauren goes, just, you know, do something for me or act your comedian.

I'm like, I don't want to never go on anymore. I'm just, I'm on just shoot me right now. Really? So I go on anymore. I'm just, I'm just shooting you right up. Really? So I go, fuck. I pulled somebody from my last special and then something new I was working on, I go, but there's no practice.

It's like I do it once at, for six people, the crew guys, and then I do it on dress and then air. And so I did it, and it was, it was fun, but the monologue is scary anyway. Woody's not a standup. I thought he was very ballsy to say it. And I think Lauren maybe knew he would do something like that. That's what I had heard.

And I liked that Lauren said, not it's your funeral, but just you do it. If that's what you think, you'll take the heat. You need to accommodate, right? Tim Robbins, when I was on, came out and he wanted to slam GE. And that's our parent company. And he said, GE, it brings good things to death.

Oh, why? And he just did it in his mind like he was, they were doing something back then, of course. I don't know any of my politics, I'm gonna fuck you up. I was super busy putting my nails on for gap girls. So, I couldn't give a shit. But I was like, wow.

And he did it and Lauren was like, like let him, you know, let him do it. Because it's part of the fun of the show. And then later, and he kind of ripped up the picture of the Pope, and then they forgot about the Tim. I was in the show. Yeah. Boy, these stories about SNL the Tim. I was saying, Michelle. Yeah.

Boy, these stories about SNL are great. We should do a podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, I know. But anyway, to wrap that up, I thought, I thought a very interesting choice to do that. Because now you've got to go to all your sketches

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It takes enormous balls and integrity to stand up for what you believe when you know that the appropriate is gonna come at you forcefully and of course it did the next day. I saw the stories on the internet. It was right, I mean it hadn't been 10, it's funny because I said to him before he did it, this might be a little too subtle for the crowd

because it's a metaphor. It was cloaked in the end. You cloaked it in this idea. Are they really gonna get it? And of course they got it in two seconds. I'm the haters were all over. But I didn't know where it was going. I was like, oh, this is weird.

And I was like, oh, funny. Like, this is an example to me of real courage. Whereas there's so much stuff that people do now, like in situations just like that, where it's called courage, but it's not courage because here's an interesting courage. Courage is when you say something knowing you're gonna get booed or hate it.

It's not courageous to go, I'm gay, in front of a very liberal audience, it's going to give you a standing ovation. It's not wrong, but it's like, that's not courage, because they're loving it. Well, you know, comics did Trump jokes, mostly during the first election that Trump was like kind of a crazy person.

And then when they kept doing them, I'm like, all right, you can switch it now because now it's, you go, you hear what Trump said and then everyone applauds. So it's, it's a comic you go, that's fine. Whatever your politics are, but let's find a new angle that is, it's, it's ball easier to say anything against that to make people go, oh shit, you're not saying what everyone's saying.

I saw this guy, he's an actor, I love him, I think he's a fantastic leading man actor. Oscar, I don't know, Oscar, I think yeah. Not Isaac Oscar, right? I think. Oscar, I think. I think. It's so funny right? Isaac. Oscar, I, okay. I think. It's so funny because his name is Oscar Isaac. I always thought he was Jewish.

Could he could be? He looks some ethnically, some things. You know, he doesn't look like he came over on the Mayflower. Because when he went to Confession, he brought his lawyer. What? Forgive me, Father, I've sinned. I think you're Mr. Cohen. Wow.

An old Bill Marbeque. Why? The oldest. That's a great one. Yeah, that's what I used to see at the improv. Oh, it's good. We all know our original acts. I love it.

Because those are the ones we saw each other doing. Yeah. So you on the chalkboard, I was new, and I'd see Bill Mar, Jay Leno, Seinfeld Bells, Paul Ryzen, like, it's a fucking... It was great. I was like, everyone's good. That was a good training.

Neelan, Dennis, Miller, and... I remember hanging out at the Improv out here, and Sandler was like just an up and coming. I don't think you were around, but I remember him at the Improv, and we would like go out to my car and listen to Beatles songs. You know, you think about... He's such a music dude, yeah.

How far? But I'm gonna finish my answer. Go ahead, I'll show Isaac. Okay, so he's the host. This is like a year ago or something. Most of us in L? Yes. Okay, so he comes out and in his monologue,

he reveals that his name is not Oscar Isaac. That's like those are the first two names he has, but his name is Oscar Isaac, like I don't know, and then it's two Hispanic names. He says, oh, I did not. Exactly, well you didn't watch this episode I guess. You know, it's still on now that you're not. Okay.

Why would they keep it on? We peaked. So, so he says, my name, my real name is Oscar Isaac, you know, Hernandez Rodriguez or whatever it was. And the audience erupts in applause. And because it's like the woke audience, you've been cured of whiteness. It's a miracle. We thought you were waving. It's like, get from God. Great news. Yeah. It's like, get from God. I'm not surprised. He's not white. He's not white. And then,

and then, and again, I like this guy. I think he's, he's actually done great. I mean, lucky was hosting that show. And I think he's actually done great. I mean, Lucky was hosting that show, and I think he's still underused. But then he says like, yeah, the first two names, those are the ones that gave me. And like, who's nay? First of all, like they gave me. Like the agent, like it's 1950.

And he's in the office of Louis B. Matt. All right, we're gonna call you Oscar Isaac. All right, young man. The public would accept some of the Hispanic origin. We're gonna call you Oscar Isaac. All right, young man. The public would accept some of the Hispanic origin. We're gonna call you Oscar Isaac. No, I'm sorry. We have a better one. You're gonna be Bill Jones.

Bill Jones. No, it's like, this kind of phony fucking posturing is what I- They made me in. They made me. They didn't make you. You signed on to that willingly. And by the way, when you came along, it still

would have been fine. So right now, it's fine. It's going to be a two first names. It's like, no, you know, it was 2010. What were they going to, we don't serve you a kind. Yeah. He was in, because he did a sketch for Sarah Sherman, I saw that was funny. And I said, who is that? They said Oscar Isaac. And I, they said he's in the Star Wars. I didn't even, well, listen, it's good for him if I don't know who he is because I don't know who he is.

Oh, I know. I know. He's very much who he is. He was, I don't see Star Wars, but he did a fantastic HBO, like limited series about a year ago, seemed, I think it's called scenes from a marriage. It might be the Ingmar Bergman thing. It's a little over your head, Dave. No, believe it, don't go by me.

If they're in something good, I'll never see it. Really, you wouldn't watch that. It was him and Jessica Chastain. It was about a marriage. No, because of yeah. Remember that one was like decaprio. Decaprio has to be Joe Durd and like, really? No, I'll watch that stuff, but it's like some of them are just two depressing or two things.

Really? So what do you watch? Tiktok. Tiktok. Really? No, I have some. Are you on, do you do a lot of the kid stuff with the... I do.

I am a Tiktok. You are. But it's bombing. Really? No, because I don't really do it. I would use like plug gigs and everyone's like, well, that's not right what we do here. Really?

Well, that's not really what you do there. Great. I didn't know that. Yeah. I mean, it's just if I joined it and I got 4 million people right away, so I go, oh, so it's more people that I can get work stuff out. But I do like doing a little comedy shit for it.

So it's funny. But if you don't use it to plug, what the fuck do you have it for? Well, that's embarrassing. To me. Well, what if I learn a new dance? Right, that's true. Did they say on the John Bene of... I feel like me being on TikTok now at 67 would be like, in a new dance. Um, right. That's true. Do they say I'm a John Beneum?

I feel like being a me being a chick duck now at 67 would be like me walking into, you know, the hottest club in LA on just a regular Saturday night. Like, hey, I'm going to be here at the club. No, sir. Yeah. You're just, this club is not for you. Yeah, you know, you know, one time I went out with, when I just started SNL my first year.

No, maybe I was your artist. I knew Love It's, and maybe Carby, I just knew him barely or Dennis, and we went to a Lakers game, and then they go, let's go, I'd love it. So it's like, let's go to Bar One. Who are Bar One? Of course.

I'm sure you fucking killed it there, because, but I was new. And so I go, oh, what's this? They go to Club on sunset, Boulevard. I'm sure you fucking killed it there, but I was new. And so I go, oh, what's this thing? It's a club on sunset, Boulevard. It was great. And so we all went there. We walked out and a balancer checked that.

You guys, John Lovitz, SNL, and it was like Dana, maybe it was them, whatever. And me. And so we, yeah, I was a writer. I just got hired. So we go in, have fun. And then a week later, my buddy's in from Arizona, and he goes, what do you want to do? And I go, oh, there's a bar. I went to call Bar One. Let's go there.

And so we val, we get out, and the guy goes, what's the name? Because he stops me, which is, first of all, bothered me. And as a Saturday night and he goes, what's your name, my go, you guys, you have a reservation, I go, no, it's not a nightclub. I didn't understand what was going on. And he goes, yeah, we got a private party tonight.

That's their company line. I don't know that. Always. We got a private party. It's like a legal way to say. Right. And I go, I'm on a Saturday. I couldn't make someone rented it out.

Right. And then I go, oh, well, I was here last week. Because, who are you here with? I go, oh, this is John Lovats. Oh, yeah. What do you do? I go, I'm on SNL. You go, you're a cast member?

I go, yeah, I'm a writer. And you go, yeah, I'm a private party. Oh, mother fucker. WJ is going to hear about this. So he said, nothing we can do. And my buddy was like, let fucker. W.J.'s gonna hear about this. So he said, nothing we can do. And my buddy was like, let's go. It's so fucking embarrassing. Got worse.

Turned around and the belly was driving me in my car. And I go, and then I had to wait from the park and come back, get the keys, go back, get it, come back, overpay him. And my buddy's like, you're not famous at all. I think some of your stories are lies. Well, I'm like famous, but I'm a writer. It's like, what's going on?

I mean, I'm sure there are people out there in America going, you guys are complaining about the time you didn't get recognized. But I just have to say, I've had that happen to me too. And it is pretty, it's embarrassing. It's like, you know, there's a, yeah. And that's the thing. You learn that fame is something that in America,

because we're so bifurcated that everyone has a little niche. Yeah. So like you can never depend on knowing who's going to know you and who's not. So you just have to go through life, unless you're like, you know, Drake or, you know, Obama or something. When you hear these people say, do you know who I am? They don't. I mean, if you say it, you're already at a disadvantage. So, famous in its way it is, in the definition, you know I am.

If you don't, I'm not that famous. So when I go to places and they go, hey, there's gonna be about a 45 minute wait. Okay. And then I either take off or wait, but I don't go, hey. Right. Exactly. I think you got it wrong.

We gotta go. Some people know, some people care. People care different levels. Yeah. Some people see me and they go, hey, there's, I remember when I found out it wasn't a big deal. It was when someone goes, hey, there's David's baby. He go, I remember when I found out it wasn't a big deal, but someone goes

Hey, there's day there's David's bed. He goes I hate that guy So I thought oh it doesn't mean they like you It just means they know who you are they saw you on something And I'm on fucking TBS every day for grownups or bedding over so they're getting force that mean somewhere from some Cable or yes, they see something or no so it is fun to be known like that somehow but it doesn't always mean it's like well I have a tip for you yeah go for the go ahead what are we in a business meeting go yo talk uh okay so if this this you said so many says We have a 45 minute wait and you either go right or you wait What I would do what I have done is

very nicely say Okay, I was invited here. I Some so sorry. I was out somewhere else and I met I forget the gentleman's name, but everyone seemed to understand he was the owner of this place. And he asked me to come and, you know, whenever he said he would take care of me. So I don't know who this, sorry I can't remember his name, but, and they, the person who stopped you, it was to get the drift. Well, they get the drift and also they probably will get

some other person, even if the owner isn't there. So you have one more chance. And it's probably somebody smarter and higher up who then goes, hey, knucklehead. Let him in the cheesecake, right? That's a perfect ending to that. We have time to save. That's awesome.

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Right. There's only five of us. You'll hit me eventually. Right. No, you have to like not, it's exactly. No, I'm going anywhere where they were. A club, not a chance. There's one guy that's still like, on a rolled club list.

I laugh out with my friends that he still hits me up. You know, I'm like, You want me to go to a club? Like he'll be like, Hey man, we're at the F1 in Monaco, we're doing a thing that I'm like, what? I go, I hope it's, I say if the F1 comes here and it ends at 9 p.m., I might go.

Do you remember the times, like the era, I should say, when you knew what every night of the week was the seconding club, like, and it was the same bunch of douchebags, who would then go me. I'd go to Luke Do. I'd go to Los Palmas. I'd go to the Concord. I'd go to the do. I go to Las Palmas, I go to Concord, I go to Spiderman Club. And like, so gross. I'm like, I should probably give Thursday off.

They've seen me too much. One day, that's right. You're giving them a fucking month. You know why? Because here's the thing, we're probably the same in this. I don't know, I was certainly no cathode in the pussy beaker when I was in high school. I was not making any experiments happen.

Sure. Okay. So, and then, you know, Cornell, that was horrible. You know, finally, I'm like a grown man, you know, and girls, I can make girls like me if I get to talk to them sometimes. Yeah. So, therefore, having, like, sort of wandered in the wilderness for so long, it was like, okay, there are these places now where I can afford to go to. And then I can get in. And I can post up at a bar and see a pretty girl and start to talk to her and get her,

oh, that whole bullshit. And it was like, if I can do that now, it was a little like Halloween. You know, like, this is a night they're giving out candy. I'm tired, but I really, it ends after tonight. Like tomorrow I can't knock on some stranger's door. I have to give me candy, but I can tonight, so I'm gonna keep going.

And it was kinda like that, but it took 10 years. Yeah, and the fame is a window, so you go, hey, I might as well, I'm a rationing coach, or I just saw one something. And who I knew him back in the day a little bit, because he was on 70's show, I was on just shoot me, and we'd see each other a lot. Super nice guy, but he said,

I was a douchebag, he goes, I don't know, I mean he goes, I had fame. He's first like, tall, great looking, he has no problem anyway. And then he's famous, and he's rich, and he's on a hit show, and it's just too much. I mean, he said, I pro, he doesn't, there's no proof,

but he was just like, I'm sure I was a dick, because it's just too much, too much. Now, luckily, I've never seen him be a dick. No, he's always nice. He was always nice. Yeah, I just thought it was kind of humbling seen him be a dick. No, he's always nice. He was always nice. Yeah, I just thought it was kind of humbling

that he's a second-senice. I think he's been very hard on himself. Yeah, he's been hard on himself. But I get that when you go in those days, like it's mostly your friends going, can you get us in here, even if you don't wanna go out, they're like, just get us in and get the fuck out of there if you want.

Just get us in and get us, you know, throw your card down, but then you can take off. So that is fun when people know you and you can get the fuck out of there if you want. Just get us in and get us, you know, throw your card down, but then you can take off. So that is fun when people know you and you go out, but, you know, you go out. I do wish I had stopped living that life earlier than I did though. Even though it was still available to me,

if I was a more mature person, you know, an early mature, which I never have been, we can't all have every great attribute, I wish I had certainly 40, should be the year you stop ever being in a club or a bar, just for the purpose of like, you know, being a single guy talking to girls And it should be something. I don't even know what would replace that, but the problem is for us, like we never, I know we're great never getting married, do you?

No, not really. I mean, I think also going to those places, now I go to dinner and I do a longer dinner and have a drink, and then I don't. I used to go to dinner and then maybe have a drink, and then go to a club. And then it was like, we're at the club, and then I go dinner and let's go somewhere else have a drink, and then I don't. I used to go to dinner and then maybe have a drink, and then go to a club. And then it was like, right. I got rid of the club, and then I go dinner,

and let's go somewhere else have a drink. Right. And now it's long dinner, drinks, talk, where you can hear each other. Right. Because I realize your superpowers are gone. When you're at a club and you're yelling your jokes, it's rocking embarrassing.

I don't want to hear them, and that's my only thing I got going. No one looks across the bar and goes, ooh, this guy. Right, they're looking, it's just strictly on the surface. Who's the most attractive person I can talk to? Because no one's talking. They're just yelling and they're going, where are you going after this?

I'm like, I just got here. Right. Because no one has anything to say. What are you doing after? I mean, put that to the thing. And first of all, some of them are on their phone. They're not even in the room. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, this incredibly superficial room you're in, they of them are on their phone. They're not even in the room. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I mean, this incredibly superficial room you're in, they take it one step beyond that. They're not even in that room. They're not even next to you. They're just like, they're like, right. Yeah. So, I mean, look. We didn't have that when we were using,

we went out, there wasn't that at least. No. And I think things were so much better when people, I mean, I know this sounds like get off my lawn, but like when, when? Sure. It does, but, but I, it does, I mean, it's not wrong.

No, I don't, listen, I don't want, hey, I, I just think we should just stop, about a year ago, I go, we should just stop inventing things now. We're good for about 10 years. Like, everything's going well. We have to keep inventing, keep pouring money, things, and keep, and then you go,

but it just gets more and more complicated. More, my house, I just moved in, it has a bunch of stuff. It's not even rego, light switches, it's like, you know what I mean. And I go, nothing works, everything is shitty. I wish I lived in a dump like this. I've sort of missed it, you know.

No, I'm kidding, this is good. Well, I don't live here. No. You even know that? This is me, Club Random. This is like, this is like in the metaverse. And you know what? If I invited you to a party here, you would never come.

Because you're in bed at 9 o'clock. I, I say, I remember a while ago, I told our manager, Mark Kerr, but he had some. I said, we have the same manager. And I said, I see more and more clips to Bill's show because they come across my phone. I do mean that I came across them.

But I see you on there and I go, I watch and I say, oh, this was funny and then he goes, tell him, you tell him, you talk to him and then he goes, you got his number and I go, all right, so I texted you about three times, but I don't think I have your old Hawaii number at the moment. You must, because I would certainly go, so I say, hey Bill, this was great

when you said this, haven't you? Because I see it, and I go, fuck man, this is stuff. Well, there's a rule of thumb. If I don't answer your text, it means I never got. Three years. Yes, I'm not the bouncer from 1997, who didn't know who you are. I mean, no, I would at least say, oh, you know, yeah. Oh. So I keep saying, Mark, hey, maybe, okay,

we'll remedy this tonight. Yeah, we will. And, uh, but you just do, you don't ever stay out late, do you? I don't stay out that late anymore. And also, I don't do drugs. I used to do, that's a shame. A little bugger sugar, you know, just know, just a mumpet up a little bit, you know. It's a little power flower. But that, and I realized that would keep you up, but you know, in the last 10, 15 years, it's too tricky to... No, you, we can't do anything exotic at our age. Well, I think I did, there's twice when I did a little extra. And I felt like a little jittery and I go,

it's a bad feeling. You can't. And I go, I don't want to go down that way, but rather not. No, look, you have to make concessions to age. Yeah. You know, you look good. You look whatever you are.

Yeah. But a good version of that. And that's all you can do. So I got to go in for a nap. No, no, that's good. I could thank you. No, yeah. You look healthy.

You look like yourself. Yeah. The worst thing you can do is to do some fucking surgical intervention that you don't look like yourself. As I say in my act, then you're old and weird. I might just do the lips. Now, but I see old and weird. Am I just to the lips? Now, but I see people and some things are too big or something. And you know what?

Nothing says, sends the wrong message to a woman, like plastic surgery on a man, because I asked you before, or somehow came up, like why do you think, you know, you were always, so popular with women, they like authentic. What is less authentic than a man who like can't stand to like, and you know, they, he wrestled with it though because I think we're all in secure. But it doesn't work. Thaty think if it if it actually worked

Friendly would said the great line no one will ever have it better on that She said no one looks at a 65 year old person with plastic jersey goes look at that young person So if so what's the point or so authentic? Yeah girls that are 27 and they get it I mean we've Made women feel so badly, whatever, but they go, oh, we gotta get it. And so normal women out in the real world, they're getting lips and everything. Yeah, but you look 40 when you're 27 and you go,

you know what, sorry, nobody put a gun to your head. Okay, it's you made a dumb fucking choice. That's it. Yeah. I saw this story about, I think it's Linda Evangelista. Do you remember her? Yeah. It's supermodel from like the 90s?

Of course. While you dated her or something like that. No. Okay, could I? It's like a stunner. There are people, a lot of pictures of you with like a woman who's a foot and a half tall. I think they all start a foot and half taller.

Yeah, but really, I mean, it's minimal. Yeah. And only made you look good. No, it's fine. I try not to push it out there, but yeah. But she, she, she, like, did some thing that roll into her face. It went sideways on her, yeah, unfortunately. And I, I feel bad for her, but I have limited sympathy for people who do it to themselves. You know, you did something for vanity. And something that is advertised to be,

you know, probably works $199 out of 100 times, but you really wanna be that? Yeah. Because it seems that they seem to have a down pretty well for like, I don't know if the Kardashians have had anything, but if they have, they've got it wired because butts are curvy. Everything, you know, it all seems to like look good.

And you go, now is it a great message for young women? I don't know, but. Well, don't Google breast jobs that went bad. Yeah. Because there's... I'm producing. Yeah. For...

TLC. Right. But, you know what I'm saying? I mean... It's hard. I get it. I mean, I think Linda Van Uleast's supermodel was probably in that George Michael video. And, you know, at a certain point, you've just got everything

and then if it starts to slow down, it's the same with all of us. You can't really do these things on the body. I mean, I certainly understand that there's a real thing that is being trans, being so-called born in the wrong body. But whatever the remedy that we decide for whenever individual, they do or not, putting enough emphasis on the fact that you can't expect someone to be really healthy for the balance of their life when you do something as radical as take away their penis and put it in a vagina

or vice versa. These things are intrinsic to your health. You know, it feels like health is number two below. This makes me feel and that is important. But you know, any surgery is very scary to anyone and so the more you do, the more it can go the wrong way. I agree with you. You have surgery.

Have you ever had surgery? I mean, I've had a hernia. A hernia? A hernia, voluntary. Why? Why did you get a hernia? Because I lived weights every second? No.

Because I have a solar flex in my house. A little flex. I had one in my apartment on West Bank. Yeah, with the rubber bands. With the rubber bands. No, I just got one because I'm older, something. And then I had one. I have to get another one for a sinus surgery.

But I'm just saying those things, you get scared because the last second you're in there going, what if this goes from, even a colonoscopy, you go, which I did when recently, let's look at a clip. Do you have a clip? And two, we don't have a clip? I said one. But even those, you're about to go on

and you're like, some people don't wake up. So you get scared. Now, if you're doing something really, you know, you're really getting in on and you're like, some people don't wake up. So you get scared. Now if you're doing something really, you know, you're really getting in there and you're about, that's scarier. I mean, that's the whole thing, a plastic surgery in any way, shape performance. It's risky.

So, you know, even though it's like the slowest moving Bronco chase ever, and it's been foretold and then happened in such slow motion. I still can't believe that we who were the young comedians are now the old comedians. I know. You know, I mean, it's like, you know it's gonna happen and yet you can't believe it did.

Yeah. You know, what are you talking about? Where? know it's gonna happen and yet you can't believe it did. Yeah. You know, what are you talking about? We're... I will say we are lucky because in the comedy world, you don't have to retire that fast. Much better than music. It's great. I see your show. I'm like Bill looks the same.

He's doing the same show. He's getting laughs. You got interesting stuff. Well, and again, all these people, it's like fun. It's kind of an advantage that we were never the pretty boy. Because then we never had that to lose. You know, it's not like, hey, George Hamilton, lost his tan or whatever, you know.

Girls always say, guys are lucky. They go, when you get older, you just get better looking. Not you, but they, and I go, well, if you're a good looking guy and you get your hair gets a little gray, it's like, great, but not everyone turns into a butterfly when there's a seven. No. No, but women are much more deep than us.

Sure. Like, I agree. No, in the sense that there were more superficial, like the old saying goes, women fall in love through their ears and men fall in love through their eyes. I thought it was boners. I heard something.

I don't know, it's on a better wall. Yeah. No, I agree that that's what you're really. It's such a good comedy partner because you never drop the ball. Ah, we go back and forth. That's where it's fun. No, I don't really do punchlines like you,

like you always come up with the punchline. That's the valuable guy and the, oh, can you believe that this town's on strike? Is that affecting you? Well, you know, I think I've been to one or two, you have two, right? They're tough. I mean, it's a little press at the beginning

and I've got thrown out of work this week. And then it gets, oh, that's right. You guys. I was supposed to do a show Friday. And Monday was, they hadn't taken the vote until the night. I do what I normally do on a Monday, which is put in a very long night, you know, putting together the first draft of my editorial at the end of the show. And, together the first draft of my editorial at the end of the show and and now no show and I mean think about that yeah and this I mean I don't want to get into the politics of it but there is no and look I know the writers are getting screwed by the streamers but the rest stop work. It's always hard to stop work. And also, the money you lose, just doing that is crazy.

All the people who get thrown out of work. Yeah. And if they use it to get rid of people, right? Not shit. That too. But also not just people who get thrown out of work, who actually were directly writing, but the restaurant that was across the street.

Of course. The studio where the actors went to have lunch. They showed that on the news day, they were showing all the restaurants that are empty and you go, it's just such a trickle because I mean, listen, I have no answers. I'm a writer. I'm in the writers' guild that night. I get it. And, but it's one of those.

You just say, after COVID, you go, oh, and then... The drug dealers who don't get the same order that they do. Exactly. That's what we're getting at. The hookers who would normally go three and four at a time to certain... Yeah. The IOUs for the hookers is the embarrassing. That's another thing. I think you and I agree on. Like, we would never want to be with a girl except if she really... Whatever our flaws are, you have to really want to be with a girl except if she really we whatever our flaws are you have to

really want to be with us we can't like just buy you right because that wouldn't feel you wouldn't feel good about yourself right because like anybody could do that love it's good to do that right I'm just making I don't know I'm getting John we love John. Baldr dash. I saw Love It's the Sweet Game. You did? Yeah. I did Las Vegas.

He was there and so it went golfing. That's, see, that's like the way people feel about bands, you know, like I feel is the way a lot of people feel about that gang of Saturday Night Live guys who like more than other cast members seem to have like this bond that went on. Like more than the music, fans don't like to think of their favorite band members hating each other, breaking up.

I don't talk to him. It's like, please, mommy and daddy, why you fight? I hate it. And you guys, I think, uniquely in the NSNL catalog, like have this band of brothers thing that went on. Yeah. I'm thinking of any other grouping that does. You know, I'm lucky, hey, Dev, some friends are my era,

and then also the Dana, Dennis, Kevin Neal, and like that era. Love it. I still talk to those guys when I can. You know, I see Dana a lot. But you know, it just also there's- You're not all the same era? Well, you're overlapped.

We overlapped a little and then it went on to more. I think people think of more with me, you know, Schneider, Sandler, Rock, Tim Meadows, you know, those guys, and, uh, Farley. What about that first year with Chevy? When I was there, Chevy was fucking... Chevy did one year and fucking tapped out, and he was a huge star. Six, four good-looking, I saw Baldi Hans, he was nothing like him, formidable. He came into a meeting, I was like, really? God damn this.

Yes. Because they did a two-moving. And also the good looking, but has a sense if you can play against type, that's what Carrie Grant was, that's what Bert Reynolds was, that's what Ryan Reynolds is. Yeah. That's the ultimate goal when you are the good looking guy, but you don't act like you're just doing your thing. Yeah, I mean, that's so attractive to women.

Yeah, you just fucking around. Warren Beatty. Accidentally, good looking, yeah. You know, that's not your only thing you have going with, and that's those guys. Well, Warren Beatty was always, I or so, was the ultimate because he was great looking rich movie star, but also like humble. Like he had very midwestern manners. That's always about you. Yeah. And also, he, this second baseball, he was a five-tool player. He also was like the most relentless. Like the story's about Warren Beatty, like he would see a girl driving and he would pull her over.

Yeah. Just like that. Like just like, I have to get to know you blah, blah, blah. And of course, he's Warren Beatty and it probably happened. And he's good looking. They let me break. Yeah. And he's Warren Beatty, you know.

So, no, no sevens are pulling guys of girls of. Yeah. Yeah. You have to like have some... Right, it's like girls to get away with murder are sort of great looking guys that get away with stuff that regular people would. There's a thing that the kids call a pretty privilege.

Or be it. Not directly. I've heard with me. You always hit the ball, but I would love to be a straight man. That is a great job. I would love to just be that guy. I'm a straight man with Farley. I'm a straight man with a lot of moves.

This is a movie that really dials. Yes, it's true. I go, I would do this movie because you need him in the wrong messy. That movie for Netflix, I was straight, I read it knowing I'm not the funny part and I go, you know what, I sort of like that Ben Stiller, Jason Bayman, like in over your head straight man. It's like being the assist leader in basketball.

You know what I mean? He just watched them score after a while like it's tough, but you just watched them score. But it's funny, like that wrong messy did more, that movie did more for me. Because you know, I guess it's about, have one wrong Missy did more, that movie did more for me. Because you know, I guess it's about, have one that works about every 10 years, that's what I'm, that's my pattern.

It's like, it goes Tommy Boy, then it goes Joder, it goes Growing up, then it goes. Yeah. Wrong Missy was one of the big ones on Netflix that they just call go. It's worldwide, number one again. Number one again, and I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I don't believe it, they're like, we don't believe it, but good job. So just trying to hang in there. Very few people have like one hit, let alone. Yeah, it's hard to hang in there. Yeah. You know what, you know, you're doing the same thing, it's hard to just keep it going.

So, I think what you're doing is harder, because I'm doing the same. I've already got it. I've been there 21 years. You know, all I gotta do is just do the thing that I have been doing, which of course, if you keep doing the same thing, you're gonna get better at it.

Yeah. You know, and like you said, like we look, we don't have to look awesome. We just have to look generically late middle-aged. Yeah. And not be offensive to look awesome. We just have to look generically late middle-aged and not be offensive to look at. Yeah. You know.

Did you see a movie that like Will Ferrell is the dad, you know, and his wife, for how old they are, but you go, Will Ferrell, and everything how old he is, like, no, he's the guy in this movie. Of course. And he's funny. Right.

But if you ever go, oh, he's 59 and he's still, you know, it doesn't make sense in the movie, but you go, you don't think that that's old when you think about it, but when you go, oh, it's Will Farrell. And he's the kids coach, but you go, why would he have a kid with you? Let me tell you, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the rest of the, the rest of the, the lone. Yeah, got it. Made it. You don't smoke pot.

I was about to say. Okay, they made a movie about, oh, I don't know, it was only a few years ago. Okay. Yeah. It was a script that plainly was. Was it them in a prison? I remember that one. It's called like prison. A script that plainly was written for two men in their midst. I mean, they're hitting each other with pipes. Chairs. They don't even change it. Yeah, and it was just like they were so preposterously to old both of them for this movie.

It was like one of them was in prison. Okay, you have to get arrested, get in the prison, and then break out of this impossible to break out prison Okay, you have to get arrested, get in the prison, and then break out of this impossible to break out prison with this guy who hates you and for Robert Pattinson. And then Arnold says he wants to do it. And you're like, instead of your daughter being four,

she's 40. Norman Lear was not available. So they went with, yeah. And it's just like, yeah, but they're stars. Yeah. You know, there's something about... That's not the one where the boots stick to the ground. That's Nicholas Cage.

Remember, he's in prison and he's got these electric. These boots are magnetized the ground. I'll sign here, Cloth. I'll sign you a link. No. I mean, but Nick Cage, there's a great example. That's great too. What?

He's great too, Nick Cage. Yes, and also, I mean, he was just on 60 minutes. Like, he has, like, wait, waited for the Ferris wheel. Yeah. You got some mystery to him when he comes back. And now he's at the top of it again. And it just shows, especially in this business. I mean, you were saying like every 10 years or whatever,

but like, that's life. We just happen to mean the business of show. So for us, it's like this kind of thing. You know, you, not everyone out is going to be a hit. And it's very hard to predict what is going to work and what's not. It's especially movies. Like, I'm so work and what's not. Sure. Especially movies. Like, I'm so glad I'm not in that game.

I couldn't take it because so many things can go wrong. You read a movie and every movie I've tried to do, I, is funny. From the beginning, there's so many ways to go wrong, like you said. Ravel reads funny and then it goes wrong from there. It's like, direction is tough. The editing, the, the, the, the co-stars don't get along it someone's right Something about it's so distribution the poster right state. It's freezing out. Exactly I mean we here we had black sheep come out and they go Larry King was like there's a storm tonight this weekend

They advise everyone not to leave the house like what? Don't leave check the fuck off. Like, not just their snowing, they go, that's good for a movie. The snow is like, oh, not what they say don't leave the house. The worst one we've had in 15 years and you go, oh, so. Now, for you kids watching, back in the day, as you kids would say, we had to leave the house to see him. Yeah, yeah, you had to go out. Yeah, they're like, what are you talking about? It's hard to get out and see it.

It's hard to get people out to see him. Did someone stash your phone outside or something? Why would you need to leave the house? Yeah, and you know, when you watch a movie at home, you can get distracted. The same thing with people that work from home. I think there's too much distraction because I've done it and when I watch a movie,

I like my phone or I go on the room, or when you're in a theater, it's sort of the only game in town. You're sitting at the internet, you're still there. And you watch it, you're more into it, I think. I have, I must admit, I have only seen, I think, two movies in the theater in the last five years, and some of that was COVID. But some of that is just, I got so used to not watching movies all at

once. I treat a movie like a book and I read a whole book and once I have it. None of them hold my, if it held my attention, yes, I could see. But it's like, yeah, I like this, but for 20 minutes, and then I'm going to watch something else for 20 minutes. People that shocked me are my friends, you know, in fairness, they have no jobs, but they go, they go, they have, you know, they go, I have a commercial audition Thursday. I'm like, this is what it's down to. So they go, you know what I watched last night?

Three seasons of Ted Lasso. That's 100 hours. And they're like, yeah, I know. What, how do you do it? They go, I blew through a season and I went, rewatch, breaking bad. I know, I couldn't have. I do want like this. As good as it is, I don't know if I'm a snob, but I go, at least some of these are good, but I go, it's not even the show,

I just, the tension's been, I don't know what it is. I agree, I don't understand the American attention's been. It's either three seconds or forever, you know, like podcasts, like I would never have guessed that podcasts would be a thing. To me, it's like, am radio, a lot of it. It really is. Which wasn't cool for so long.

So, someone cool. And also, like, if we only do an hour, it's like, Chency. You know, it's weird. I don't know what it's like. I try to do an hour. I don't know what it's like. I tweet your phone with two hours or three. And I'm like, whoa, who, who is this? God's greener, it's a sitting there.

I mean, I'm rogue and they like five hours. And to binge anything, binge sometimes, I can't get through an episode. Yeah, I think clips of podcasts, I see that on Instagram. So I see clip of The Ovan. I see my friends, I go, Tim Dill, that's funny, that's funny. But I don't ever watch the whole podcast, but I go, this is the good part.

And I judge going, that's funny to me. These guys are funny to me. And I form an opinion. But yeah, I must say I kind of hate that we live in this clip world because people say to me, you know, that Billy... Quarkin, Quarkin. I knew. You were on your show recently. Yeah, just this before you got here. We were talking about an interview and he said, Yeah, I saw clips.

And it's like, I want to go, thank you. And also, fuck you. I know. I heard him say that. It's like, I just want to go, oh, it's a shame, I, but nobody ever seems to wanna watch anything in its fullness. Or, you know, we do certainly have fans who do that, but like, I feel like we move into this clipped-driven world of like, just give me the,

just give me the tastiest tip of the. Yeah, you know, because people say, you know, your movie, I actually seen pieces of it, I liked it. Right, that's a good Hollywood thing. Saw pieces of it. I mean, I've had people who said, with a straight face, like they were trying to compliment me on religious

and said, I started it. It's like, that's not a compliment, you know? Like, I- You know, SNL has it down, like if that's not a compliment. You know, like... You know, SNL has it down. Like, if you follow even like you on Twitter, it'll show in full one of your full segments. So it's really the whole show. SNL, here's where you get an update. Here's someone on where you get an update.

Here's a sketch. Here's the model on. So if you want one at a time, you can go back and watch what you want to watch. A lot of things do that. Yours is bigger because it's on the internet. People will pull it on the next day and say, you said this, and you'll click, and it'll be the whole model. So if you miss it, you see chunks, but you see a fat chunk, you don't see it a minute

of it. It'll go beginning a little end. That's the way I see a lot of stuff because I mean they're not there, or I'm out there making millions doing shit, you know. But you are. No, not all at once, but. No. It adds up.

Yeah. You've had a fucking amazing career. I mean, not everyone comes off that show. That was a hard move, that's the hard one. That gap right there. Right. I mean, not everyone comes off that show. That was the hard move, that's the hard one. That gap right there. Right. Because a lot of people...

They said you can do your own show for a network that was back when it was just the network, really. The big three in Fox. You can give your own show. Alpha Vesonel, you get one swing. Right. And I watched, I think, as Arsenio had all the heat in the world did his own sitcom get one swing. Right. And I watch, I think, as Arsino had all the heat in the world, did his own sitcom and did work.

Right. And they're like, okay, he's done what else. And they're like, yeah. Brutal, is that? Brutal. One swing. Then they, you think it's gonna be forever. So that's when I joined your shoot me.

They go, or you could be the fifth lead on a show that they might pick up. And I said, it's farther down the line. It's past. Nice one. Pilot stage. Is a pilot I they might pick up. And I said, it's farther down the line. It's past. Very smart. Pilot stage. It's a pilot I could watch. Right.

They didn't have someone kind of like me. And was really good. That's smart. It's from a guy that did Larry Sanders. Right. And then you said he likes it. It's almost on the air. Right.

And I go, let me jump in here. Perfect. And the same thing that I went over. You never knew that. That's really interesting. It was engagement. It was a pilot. They were already wanting to pick it up. If you join, we'll pick it up.

So I'm already at the one-yard line to do a pilot from scratch. Right. You're right. That's the activation energy point, as they would say in chemistry, where we see whether these two compounds combine to make a new compound or fizzle. And that was a very smart move. That's the key moment there. Like you picked the right horse.

I see it also and it sounds crazy, but when you watch football and you see a great receiver, a great quarterback, and they want more money in these switch teams. And you go, and you never hear from me, and I go, you should just realize there's something that's working with this group. And I can't say what, no one knows what, but that's where you work best.

And it's working, it's working. You go somewhere else, something's different, and just something about it, and it falls apart. Yeah, that's what this kind of TV shows of. If you get cocky and say, I want to do my own, and it doesn't work, that mental beating of trying to go back and get your heat back. It's just too hard But it's nice that you know, we both got to a point where First of all, I had so much anxiety when I was young about am I gonna be a failure or not because it's very easy to be a failure

You can either be a failure right at the beginning and never get anywhere or come off SNL and then just kind of Yeah, it's hard to get on something if it doesn't work, then it's a misstep, and then it's a little harder, and then you get the second lead on a pilot, and then if that doesn't work, then it's really. To me, that's a lot of my mental calmness is like, okay, I was not a failure in this life. I chose this profession and was a success, and found a nice piece of real estate and same with you. You found a nice little piece of real estate.

Get something you do and you try to do it. Are we Austin Butler? No. Easy. But, you know, we earned dealt that in hand. We made good with the hand we had. It's hard after five years, after 10 years. But you know, we earned dealt that in hand. We made good with the hand we had. It's hard after five years, after 10 years. All right, I'm gonna be wrapping me up.

Can you read my car around? I wanna say a little longer when my car's coming around. I'm gonna be here at the party I'm gonna have for you. Oh, we're gonna have a blast for honor. Oh, I'm gonna have a stay at party. And you're honored, then you'd have to come. I'd like to grab you. You fucking stay six minutes and do this.

Thanks Bill, is that the end? Club Annual.