Club Random with Bill Maher - Denzel Curry | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: March 10, 2023

Oscars Bonus Episode: The Oscars are here and it’s Slap Season. Bill and rapper Denzel Curry dissect The Slap, alopecia, Will Smith’s state of mind, plus Michael Jackson vs. R. Kelly, whether Bill knows the difference between Donald Duck and Daffy Duck, and the hit movie Bill has never seen. 

I was gonna wear that. Oh, you were a sweater, come on, man. How you doing? You actually matches with your cha. I should've been sitting over there. You want to sit over here? No, no. I'm contra-

I mean, I gotta say, the way your head that brilliant head of yours is framed. Look behind you, club random, VIP lounge. That's friends only. You see what it says? Drink what you like, say what you want. Here in VIP, bottle service only. And I hear you're blowing up, speaking of blowing up. Get the slap.

Oh man, okay, you know, I'm just gonna, you know. Yes. How I feel about it, I look at the footage, like several times, did he deserve that smack? It depends. It depends, you know? Like, I don't think it depends. I don't know.

It depends, cuz like, did he know? I don't know. Did he know that it had a piece of it? I don't know. You know what, it's so funny. I went to the, I didn't eat fair party after the Oscars. I didn't go to the Oscars. The award shows always suck.

The parties. You know, if you can skip the award show, you're so fucking ahead of the game. So at the party, of course, everybody's talking about this. And I, first of all, it had no idea. She had Hello, Pisha. Oh my God. And then, but I all, it had no idea. She had Hello, Pisha. Oh my God.

And then, but I heard the word, and I've heard it before, but I never really thought about it, and I couldn't quite put it in my head. I may have had a club cigarette or two. Right. Like, I couldn't quite put it, put it together, what it was, but it sounds like a disease. Well, it is, is because that's when you start balding.

Like, I remember, the first time I ever heard of Alopecia was, Alopecia was when I was watching American Ninja Warrior. You ever see that show? Like, what do you do to, um, it sounds like a character in a Wayne's movie. Alopecia. Yeah. Oh my goodness.

Right. Fuck that. Yeah. Fuck that. But, um, yo, the first time I ever heard of that, I'm not getting this. Right. That's fucked up. You just fucked up. But, um, yo, the first time I ever heard of that, it was like this dude, I think his name was Kevin Bull. He was a guy from American Ninja Warrior and he had Alpecio. He was just bald.

But the guy was ripped. He looked like one punch man of some shit. Okay. First of all, do you ever drink? Oh, yeah. I mean, I had soda,. I'm good with water. Water? Okay, I never push drugs on anyone.

Not too big of a drink, am I? That's fantastic. Seriously, I'm telling you. That's an Irishman who was for too long way too big of a drinker. Never a drunk. I've been drunk, but not a drunk. Right.

There's a difference. There's a huge difference. Very big difference. I mean, I don't, I mean. But if you could not drink and still have a good time, your way ahead of the game, because there's nothing worse for you than, like, or it's sugar and yeast, it's everything bad for your body, you know,

you have that look about you, if someone who's very focused and in control and doesn't like need diversions or bells or whistles or even drugs. Nah, cause you gotta understand like, I've been doing this like, you mad learn, like doing music for mad lungs, so I did the acid, I did the shrooms and stuff.

Never play with my nose. Never did it in needles. I never, none of that shit. I did the etables and soon as I did it, etables I was like, never again. Never day, needles. I never, mm-mm. None of that shit. I did the intervals in. Soon as I did, the intervals, I was like, never again. Like, fuck that. Yeah, I can't do it.

I used to do it. I can't do it anymore. I can't. Makes me paranoid. And it lasts too long without a ability to stop it. You know, once you're on for this ride and sometimes the ticket says six hours. And it's like, oh Jesus, are we ever gonna get to Brussels

and you just have to fucking eat it and be high longer than you wanna be high. And there's nothing worse, ladies and gentlemen, than being high, if I could do a public service announcement for only being high as long as you wanna be high. Oh my God. Because when you're high and you don't want to be high, it's a terrible low. Anyway, can I just go back to Alopecia?

Yeah, we can go back to Alopecia. Because again, this is what happened. I was like, somebody's told me, but did you know she had Alopecia? And my first reaction, because again, I didn't quite remember what Alopecia was, was, oh, well, that changes everything. And then later on, they talked about it, and I realized, oh, wait, yes, I have heard that word. When, God, that asshole for the hair club for men

is doing a commercial, and he wants to sound like a scientist. So he talks about Alopecia, and it's just fucking, we all lose our hair. I have it too. Oh my God. Everybody fucking has it. But it's the fact that this is where I feel like, all right, it's the alopecia.

Chris Rob probably didn't know. I mean, I was just literally talking to somebody like, I ain't gonna, like, they say she revealed that she had alopecia on a red table talk. I don't know how true that is. I don't watch red table talk. It is true. It's true. Okay. Absolutely is. I don't watch red table talk. It is true. It's true.

Okay. Absolutely. So I don't watch red table talk at all. So I would probably wouldn't know that until that smack. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. So and I'm pretty sure Chris Rock didn't know that because I don't picture Chris Rock as somebody

that's gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna watch red table talk. No, but we're still arguing two completely different points. You are arguing that it matters if he knew or did not know that she had alopecia. I am arguing it absolutely doesn't because it is nothing. It is losing your hair, which we are all doing. Yeah, but 80% of men. It didn't matter because we'll smirk the shit out

this man. Well, that's what made it matter. You know, it just would have been another joke swept under the rug. No, I'm sorry, that does not make alopecia matter. That makes his mental state matter. That's what's relevant. But fucking alopecia is nothing. If this is where your bar is for getting sensitive,

you're too fucking sensitive and you were raised wrong. It's nothing. It's losing your hair, which we're all doing. I don't have every hair I ever had. I wish I did. I've done everything I can to keep them. And, you know, they also get different. Whereas your hair gets different.

They get finer, thinner, it's harder to, you know, you just look at people, Harry Styles and people in their 20s. I mean, let's more grand pianist Baldwin. So, but it happens over time. But even if you have hair, it's not as in good a shape, because it doesn't like sort of just stand up Timothy Shalamey. Oh, the, you know, the people in your early 20s,

your hair just does crazy weird things that it looks good, and it's just very full and wavy and and you know you could have hair later but it's more it's just like the rest of you. So your main argument was it doesn't matter Dashie. It's not. It's not. Correct. And that shouldn't have been a reason for Will Smith to smack Chris Rock and it wasn't.

I think it was it but I don't think the smack was specifically for Chris Rock and it wasn't. I think it was, but I don't think the smack was specifically for Chris Rock, like people trying to put all this stuff, you gotta think about all this stuff before that smack. It was probably like years and years of years of just building up to that one moment. It's just all that frustration. Between the two of them?

No, not between the two of them. It's just all this frustration because the internet was making fun of Will Smith after the August Alcena situation. You hear what I'm saying? That's the woman who was... What the entanglement. Like, you remember when J.S. was talking about the entanglement?

When she was, and by the way, in those pictures, and with what's his name? August Alcena. Okay, so in those pictures, she's wearing a wig. She was wearing a wig? Well, unless the Alpisha came out, I mean,. Okay, so in those pictures, she's wearing a wig. She was wearing a wig? Well, unless the alpecia came up, I mean, the alopecia came up.

I don't know, I don't think the alpecia has hair. She has hair back there. I think it's a wig. I mean, women wear wigs, and also, by the way, women also, just go for that alopecia look, even when they don't have alopecia sometimes. They say, look, that's what I thought. I thought the buzz cut.

What happened? The buzz cut, you know, the low-boy. It's a look. It is a look. Right. A lot of models do it. Right. So, Chris, I thought that.

I didn't know about the tragedy of alopecia. Oh my God. It's under psoriasis on things that are tragic about the human body. Are you kidding? The things that can go wrong? I just think that the whole thing leading up to that moment,

I think the... The... Our pizza thing was a last straw. And then you got the whole thing... Correct. Talking about you, your wife, and just your family in general. Okay.

And I'm pretty sure that is what broke with me. Now we are coming more closely to a meeting of the munch because what you're saying, I would sign onto that. You're saying this was, there was a tender box like there was before World War I. Stop me if you've heard this analogy. Oh my God. And then when the Archduke Ferdinand is assassinated,

it was itself not a big thing. I mean, you know, it was Serbia, it was not something that was on people's minds, but it set off this chain of events and it just, it had been building to this and it just was the message. Yeah, it's right there. Okay. So that smack wasn't for everybody. It wasn't for the Alps. I'm pretty sure it was correct

because people were talking about his wife for years. Well, I think there are many other things we're gonna have to throw into this mix of white because let's look at this a prudert film on this, okay? The joke is told, right? We cut to Will Smith laughing. That's true. Very important. But you also see Jada in there rolling her eyes. That's the next part of the film, okay? You say you say that, okay? Back and to the left, back and to the left. It's the magic bullet theory. We are looking at him laughing. Then he sees his wife not laughing,

making a face. And then he, that's when he changes, okay? This is kind of a recapitulation for me of what all of cancel culture is. Somebody tells a joke, everyone laughs at first. It's funny. And then it's like, oh wait, I'm supposed to be offended. I feel pressure to be offended because that's the kind of culture we live in. Shitty.

Nowadays, right. It's like comedians probably gonna be out of a job if it keeps going that way. because that's the kind of culture we live in. I mean, nowadays. Right. It's like, comedians probably gonna be out of a job if it keeps going that way. Not this one. Not this one, bro. Because I think a lot of that stuff it just like takes away like freedom of speech, you know?

Sackly. Like, you can't really say anything because it might hurt this person's feelings. Okay. Which I do understand. But you know, you know, I've spent my life fighting this fight and winning. Okay.

They did try to cancel me many times. ABC took me off the air. That sign is from the television show I did before the one I do now. That was the show. It was called politically incorrect. And they still took me off the air for being politically incorrect. But I got back on. Because you're not PC. They took you off the air for being politically incorrect, but I got back on. Because you're not PC.

They took you off from not being PC. Horse, and I'm still not. And I'm just saying freedom is not free. You have to fight for it every day. And I do every week. You know, people when they say to me, how was the show last night on Saturday? I'm like, well, if I haven't been canceled, it was great.

Because every week they're coming for you. So comedians are not gonna be out of a job, but you are right, we have to fight for our lives now. I mean, but it's not even just comedians. It's also right. Exactly. Musicians as well. Exactly.

Because we could say some and next thing, you know, he's in season, and this, that, and third. And I'm pretty sure like, when it comes down to that type of situation, like there are more serious situations than what I said. You know what I'm saying? It's not like I'm telling you to go kill a bunch of people. You know what I'm saying? It's not like I'm saying,

oh, like, let's do genocide. The whole thing is like, it hurt my feelings and you should never talk again. You probably hurt somebody's feelings and they don't want to talk to never talk again. Exactly. Bitch, you probably heard somebody's feelings and they don't want to talk to your ass again. Like, I'm just being real like. Right, and you want something even real or? Like, you just said that. It was very funny.

You said it exactly the right way. But if I said bitch in that same context with that same joke, there would be a lot more of a backlash. You're allowed to say it a little more than I am. I say it as in like, I don't do it to degree women and none of that shit. I call a man a bitch.

No, I'm just saying. I remember back like 20 years ago when I was still, oh my God, I can't believe I was doing it. But yes, I was still going like to clubs, like in the club. Mm-hmm. I'm sure you probably still do. No. No? Hell no. You know we'd ever go to the club. I'm sure you probably still do. No. Hell no.

You know we never go to the club. Fuck no. You're so much more mature than I am. Listen, I've been going to clubs since I was 16 performing. So I'm tied to clubs at this point. Okay. See, I wish I had gotten tired of them at such a young age,

but I didn't. Anyway, I go in and they're like very often, and again, this is way before pot was legal. And so smoking in a club was still kind of an outtrade thing to do. But like if a bunch of rappers were there, they would never bother them about doing it. You know, it was just like, well, that's their culture. And I would, and it, right, that was the attitude of the club. And I'd always be like, could I get the rapper treatment? I get, but now that's changing too, because it's like, what is really like, oh, that's what rappers do.

I don't know. Whenever somebody, when a musician gets in trouble, it's like, oh, that's what rappers do. That's what rappers, you know what I'm saying, dude. So, it's what you, like, take away the rap part and what do you get? You just get the ER. You get them, man. So, what are you really trying to say? Is that your lead? You know what I'm saying? I'm like, what are you really trying to say?

Whenever they put somebody, oh, this rapper, what the jam? Right. Take away the rap part and what do you get? Is that your line? Nope, that's not my line. Oh, it's a great one, isn't it? I'm just like, that's a great one. It's like, it's like this rapper,

they'd never say this musician, this composer, this songwriter is gonna jump. Whenever it's a urban artist or a black artist, it's more like, well, if they are a rapper, yeah. They're not going to say it about Charlie Pride. No, they're not. It is a rapper. They're going to be like, this rapper is like,

they use it as an attack sometimes, most times. Yeah, I mean, it also just narrows down who we're talking about. I mean, there is a subculture of rap, wouldn't you not agree? I mean, isn't that whole point, whole point of hip-hop? Is that it is a subculture of rap, wouldn't you not agree? I mean, isn't that whole point of hip hop? Is that it is a subculture that you desire

and I'm glad you created it. Yeah, of course. So like to say that it's not necessarily an attack. I think sometimes they use it to the being when you can't get in trouble. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, sometimes, and sometimes it's a cigar. You know what I mean?

You right. I'm just saying, we're all very sensitive. Oh, back to the Zapruder film. And sometimes the cigars get to cigar. You know what I mean? You right. I'm just saying. We're all very sensitive. Oh, back to the Zapruder film. So is this the out-be-short thing? Is this the JRP Kippie? Yeah, so he's still...

Here's the joke. He's laughing, sees the wife as upset. And you know, she just made a face, it's a dirty look. It's to me one of the most anodine innocuous jokes I've ever heard. It's actually quite a compliment because, you know, he's comparing her, especially if he didn't know about the tragedy of hallopesia. He's comparing her to Demi Moore in G.I. Jane, who was a hot buff, but hairless, almost woman. That's the joke, is that you... It's not like he's saying, comparing her to somebody unattractive. It's almost like we considered a compliment.

But you got to think about it. The context of that joke, whenever we would see somebody bald, you don't say a woman that's bald, she only gets a few comparisons, GI, J, and a Senado Conner. Like, you're going to get those comparisons. Well, she got the good one. So here's how it would have been very inappropriate. If she had that hair and that look because she had leukemia as opposed to alopecia, then we'd be having a very different discussion. That would be very wrong. But alopecia, I cannot get upset about. The world has too many real problems for me to be worried about alopecia and the people

who are offended by you making... I mean, what is... There's people that have alopecia that probably suffer insecurities and ridicule because they do not have hair or they are losing their hair. I think, you know, with the Will Smith situation, I'm just putting out...

Yeah. ...to just point out details in the film. Yeah, I get it. Like, I'm just putting out details in the film. Yeah, I get it. Like, I'll just say, like, you don't know what he got to go home to when it comes out to her and J. The situation. So exactly on the money. And that's, it's so interesting.

You know, right at this moment, there's a case, not a case yet, but it will probably be a case that's really important in Washington. Clarence Thomas. Currently the lone African American on the Supreme Court would soon be joined by this new justice that they're going to pass. But he's married, he's Republican, of course, and he's married to a crazy right-winger.

She was at the January 6th in Serenity. In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? In Serenity? totally legitimate election in the crazy way he did. So people are saying, you sleep with a Supreme Court justice. You're in the same bed every night watching the Greg Gutfeld show. And of course, so listen to this, when they were voting in Washington, whether to force Trump to release stuff relevant to the January 6th committee about how he tried to stop the election from going through. Eight Supreme Court justices said, yes, all that material should be released. One did not. Who do you think that one was?

Clarence Thomas. Because he knew he couldn't come home to the wife who was actually at the insurrection. Right. And he's like crazy devoted to her. She's a crazy white woman. Yeah. How's that? And they left to go camping in a big RV when he's not making stupid rulings on the Supreme

Court. And this, related to Will Smith, this idea that husbands will do anything, not to have the wife mad at them when they go home. That's the common thread here, and I think you hit right on it. He's got to go home. At some point, he's at home with Jada. And she, if she's like, you didn't defend me, I looked over you were laughing at that, it wasn't funny to me. So he just, he's at this very emotional moment. And I don't blame

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We all would've forgot about it, but after that smack, he immortalized it. Well, yes. And again, I can't understand him being emotional for a number of reasons. First of all, it was only a few years ago that the hashtag was Oscar so white, remember that? From who?

From everyone. It was the biggest thing on the internet. Oscar so white. Man, I couldn't even tell you, man. You missed that. Missed it all. Okay. Well, a lot of people were very, you know, the people, especially in the last five years, who, you know, and some of this is genuine, I mean, I've always said the word

woke if you're using it correctly to be just alert to injustice. Yeah, I'm down with it. It became an eye roll because people got upset about silly things. One of the things that they were very upset about, which turned out to be not really the most important battle to fight was Oscars were too white. But when you went through the categories like there were actually a lot of black nominees in the 21st century, not before that.

We'll smith themselves. I think Will wants, I think lost to Denzel. But the other Denzel. I think it's just like a lot. When it comes out to like the Oscars, I mean, just looking over the years, there's a lot of things that they overlook is kind of like the Grammys, you know what I'm saying?

Just for an example, Kendra Lamar comes out with Good Kid Mad City, right? Mm-hmm. He loses to Macklemore. Even though Good Kid Mad City is way more influenced, influential than what Macklemore did. So in that sense, I could see like back in, like you know what, back then where?

The bigger, excuse me, but I've been nominated for 40 Emmys and Never 1 One. Now that's not because I do a worst show. As Madonna once said to Kanye West, don't go to an award show expecting justice. It's not about justice. It's about a lot of other things, but justice for what who's doing actually the best work

by the standards of excellence that should matter, originality, courage, or whatever you're doing in your field, for in my case, actually being funny and edgy. I mean, you know, it's not about that, and it never will be. That's not what award shows are it never will be. That's not what a word shows or about. Is a popularity contest? It can be, but it's turned into a virtue signaling contest. That's what it is. Okay. Now you have to explain that. Well,

virtue signaling means, you know, and again, this is where woke becomes an eye roll when people just want to look like they care about things and they're basically patting themselves on the back and saying, I'm a better person than you because I care very deeply that the Oscars are too white. And it's like, okay, they certainly have been in the past. They were getting better. Probably we're still too white. The point I was getting at was that I can see Will Smith and every African-American there being in an emotional state because for years, yes, it was too white. And we were shut out.

And now we look around at this Oscars and we fucking own the place. You know? They kind of own the place. And that I could understand. I think if I was black, I would be emotional about that. So I could see why Will and the role he was playing. I'm like, you know, Richard, I didn't see the movie yet. I have not seen it either, but I know the story. Yeah, Venus, the sereness father. Right. Who was, you know, and what they had to endure. And so Will is all these thoughts and emotions

are going through. I do understand why he was in a, but, you do have, what that whole has to do with alopecia, I have no idea. It was just a smack. That's the, that, my main thing was this. But you can't smack people. You can't, I mean.

And you certainly can't do it to Chris Rock. Sometimes you gotta smack the shit out of people. But not him, not them. That? Not for that. He was making fun of everybody in the crowd. Which everybody was like, oh man, you silly. Yes, that's what comedians do.

And we don't get smacked for it. You get heckled sometimes, but not smack. Not, you get heckled when you're young and you suck. You don't get heckled when you're after you know what you're doing and the crowd is coming to see you are your fans. Your fans don't heckle you. Sometimes they yell out things, but it's supportive. They're just excited. That's not a heckle. A heckle is you suck.

You're not funny. Fuck you. Get off the stage. Where's the next guy? Fuck this guy. Did you have any moments. Get off the stage. Get off. Like, where's the next guy? I mean, this guy. Did you have any moments like that in the beginning? Hecklin? Hecklin. I know.

I mean, like hostility or, you know, people just sort of like indicating that you didn't think you were good enough yet. Um, shoot. That happened before I even hit the stage. It will always happen beforehand. When people wouldn't believe that I was good at rapping because when you see somebody that doesn't look the part of a rapper, you know what I'm saying?

You automatically assume they do something else or they're not cool enough to rap. It's so weird. What do you mean? It's like a stereotype. You don't look the part of a rapper? I mean, now I do. But back then, I didn't.

Why? Were we addressing like, Erkall? Yeah. Yes, I was addressing like, Erkall. I was wearing suspenders. My pants was flung. But why have fucking glasses in a high top? I was like,

I mean, I can see them looking at me and saying, oh, this guy couldn't be a rapper, but why couldn't you be a rapper? No, it was because, like, most people wouldn't have to look. Once you don't have to look, and you, like, known for liking comic books and anime and cartoons and stuff. Okay.

You know, not having too much swag to you, you know what I'm saying? They automatically put you in a box like, nerd. Move. Nerd. Nerd. But you do not strike me as a nerd. Oh, nerd. When you were a kid, you in a box like, nerd. Move, nerd. Nerd. But you do not strike me as a nerd. Oh, nerd.

When you were a kid, you were a nerd? Well, still, yeah. What do you, you know what? Everyone throws that term around now. It's become kind of a humble brag. You know, models love to do. I'm such a nerd. Oh, really? You know, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, no, it was a nerd. Not in the academic sense. Oh, you might be. No, not in the academic sense,

but just like my hobbies and what I like to do. You know when you go to school and you got like, okay, you got the cool kids over here, you got the jocks over here, you got the thugs over here, and most of the time they'd be people on a football team, they're the same people, you know? So me, I was like cool with everybody,

but my table was not the cool table. Like, you got skaters over here, everybody knows they skate, they do it too. That's a whole subgroup. Yeah, everybody got different groups within school. It's like prison. Kinda is. It is.

If you look at it, we all gotta wear uniforms. Right. When we leave school, somebody going to find out and pick us up. You have to ask a permission to go to the bathroom. You've got to ask permission to go to class. You get to catch up the ass at night. Oh, no, yeah, I don't know about all that stuff.

Maybe I've gone too far. Yeah, you went too far, no, you lost me, buddy. Okay, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not the different high school. That's not, that's not the different high school. Well, what year did you graduate in high school? 2013. 2013.

All right, so we, our our classes missed each other briefly. You just bought a couple of decades. And where was this? Huh? And where was this? Um, in Miami. Love Miami. Oh, um, yeah.

I don't know. The makeup artist, the stylist. Yeah. She was just telling me about the own trip out there. She was like, everybody looks so hot. And I was just like, that's your white girl impression. Everybody looks so hot. I mean, oh my God.

Like, you know what I was saying? Now, is that really what we sound like to actual? No, there was one time I actually did a white person voice. My white person voice is like, funny as fuck. I see. To me, at least. I don't know about anybody else. Right, right. And we're like, ah, you know,

you just gotta go over there and, ah. You know, there's always like a little breath in between. It's like, you know, yeah, I kinda sound nasally. Your white dude voices, not even a white dude voices. I'm just, it's a regular voice. That's the quote we are, we're in club random. This is not the place for white people voices or anything normal, right?

Right. I mean, isn't it, don't you like it here? I mean, it's cool. I don't know about that dude over there, but it's cool. It's funny. I don't even know where I got the, I don't know. This is called Club Random, because everything here is random.

Exactly. It's like, I don't know where I got it. It was in my regular house, but it didn't fit. So it's a vibe, don't it? It's a vibe, exactly. This is like a man cave. It is, yes, it is a little bit, but not with douchey things that, you know, I'm like a pinball machine.

Run like, is that like that? Is that like the courteous thing? I don't know, man. A man cave, like, what will a man came have? Like a bunch of men. Well, I see a bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men.

A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men.

A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. A bunch of men. If they need a cave to repair to, you know, I mean, this is, you know, I'm not trying to put marriage down.

It's, you know, you know. I'll plan on getting married one day. You do. How, you know, like, how soon? Man, first off, I don't know how soon, but I plan on dropping my first kid at 30. Really? Yeah.

And you want to be married when you have the child. Oh, hell yeah. Right. Well, many, many people do not think marriage is a free requisite for a marriage at all, for having kids at all. I made my mom double, 27. I'm like, well, soon as I hit 30, my life is already pretty much chill.

So you only have to drop a kid. So you only have three years left to sport fuck? The sport fuck. I'm a sport fuck in my wife. Oh, you're married. Not married, but I'll sport fuck in my girl. I'll fight her. I'll fight her.

You're with someone who you're going to marry. Yeah. Does she know that? Oh, she knows. That you're going to get married. Yeah, it's her. No, but you've proposed to her. Not yet.

What if she watches this? This is where she fears the proposal. What what? What a what a what she gonna know she gonna be like them. I can say hey I'm gonna propose to you she just don't know when it's gonna be random. I like she gonna be like you're gonna propose to me at 30 maybe not I'm gonna just drop the kid at 30 maybe 35 I'll do it you know maybe 32 who knows saying? Maybe 32, who knows? And how many kids do you think would be ideal for you to have? Four. Four.

Now I'll just get it. I don't have three kids, because I know that one kid, that first kid, I'm a fuck up. That second kid, I'm gonna be like, I'm getting the aim of it. That third kid is gonna be like, nigga save this marriage.

Like that's like, that's like, that third kid is like, you might ace in the hole. But if I have a fourth kid, I'm gonna be like, this is like that third kid, it was like you might ace in the hole. But if I have a fourth kid, I'm gonna be like, nigga, we know this. I, I, I, if I did so funny that when you said four kids and you're like, no, that's just a joke. I'm getting four, how ridiculous, three.

Yeah. You just took it down. I'm just saying, like that first one, I know, I don't, I don't wish that. I'm just like, damn, I gotta be a model parent, so my first kid can know, like, I, this is what I gotta be after, or do better than. You've seen very together.

I am not worried one second about you as a parent. You're very mature. I can read it on you. And just listening to you for the last half hour, I don't think you're gonna have any problem. You're not going to fuck up your first job. Let me tell you something. I've never been a parent, of course, and thank you, Jesus for that. But, you know, every person I know who is a parent, they all have some version of saying, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing

and thought I was the only one. And then I found out from other parents, none of us know what we're doing. Yeah, I heard about that. We're at the feet. You heard about that. We just are making it up as you go along. And that's what it is.

I mean, that's what life is in general. I mean, you just make it up as you go along. But even with children, yes, you think you should have it all planned and you should know what's going on, you know, how to do it, know to handle this. And you don't, you just got to, you know, some of it is just having, giving hostages to fortune. You just don't know how it's going to come out.

You can have, you can be a very good parent and have near to well kids. I had cousins, they weren't really cousins, but they called them cousins, they were family, but more distance than that. Anyway, they were around, I was a kid like at Christmas. And they had the sweetest parents, I thought, they seemed to be a diminutive kind couple. And both these kids turned out to be just shitty. Very shit. One was dead before 40. Oh my God. Like he had a rap sheet as long

as your arm and you know, heroin and died. I think. Oh, the arm heroin just. No, it wasn the... He had a rap sheet long as the arm, and then you tie in heroin and just like... Oh, and heroin. Wow, yeah. It's like stealing cars. And, you know, and these are Jewish kids in Bergenfield, New Jersey.

You know, it wasn't exactly the... I mean, it wasn't a great town, but it was fucking suburban New Jersey in the 60s. It wasn't hard to get out of. They just were rotten. The other one was not rotten, but he was also a heroin addict, and then a methodon addict for the rest of his life. How do they get hooked on this shit?

I don't see how people could do heroin. I don't get it. Heroin? Heroin. No, I'm not a heroin user myself. I never really wanted to... I've heard people describe it in terms that were so over the top, like it's the best orgasm you've ever had times a thousand. Oh, please.

That's fucking stupid. The best orgasm you have, just take this needle life. Fuck outta here, man. Well, you don't know. You don't know. I don't know, and I'm not willing to try. And I'm not either. I'm good. I'm good too.

You try to tell me about cocaine? And I was like, nope. I don't play with anyone. I don't even fuck the cocaine. Never. You are a straight arrow. Straight arrow. Weed acid shrumes, definitely.

Weed acid shrumes. Yeah. Definitely did those in my life. Right. Yeah. Weed acid trums, definitely. Weed acid trums, yeah. Definitely did those in my life. Right. Yeah. No. Good. Okay.

But not as a regular thing, obviously. Not a regular thing. Plus, when you don't smoke weed for a long time, and you start getting light, and you smoke it again, you get paranoid, I don't. Someday, when I smoke one again, I know it's gonna work good, because these club cigarettes are just not doing it for me.

Mm-hmm. Bosh. Yeah. Yeah. Club random is brought to you by the audio marketing gurus at radioactive media. If you're responsible for marketing your company nationally, how are you growing your business? Don't just use Google and social media when you can harness

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and wherever you get your podcasts. Now, I think you should be my mentor, really. No, I still got shit, I gotta work out too. I'm just kidding. But I'm just saying, your 27th is the, H.I. was when I moved out here to California. And I mean, I didn't know, shit. And I mean, I didn't know shit from Shainella. I didn't have to run wine by wristwatch when I looked back at 27. And of course, I was not

like you are, I think it's a grounding force when you have a permanent relationship with it like that in your life. And you're looking ahead your your your Tomat kids a family I mean all that stuff focuses the mind and makes you sort of grow up and mature right really I mean I mean when you have a kid I was when I was younger and you know gay blade around town of squiring different ladies up the look on your face. Because I've been there. Right. But I remember really enjoying the company of young single moms. Oh.

So you were milfin it up. No, they weren't milfin it up. They were like 22. That's milk in it up. But that's, you know, you're milk in it up? I thought a milk was older. Hey, maybe it is. I thought a kuga was older. But you're right, because milk just means a mother I'd like to fuck.

Yeah, that's right. But because often, I mean, I feel girl isn't young like that. They're very often kind of ditty. So they're pretty and there's all that quality of youthfulness that's so attractive. But you know, you'd paint in the ass, ditty, forgetful, that kind of stuff that goes with being that age. But if they were a single mom, having a kid just slaps the snot out of you. You know, it just makes you focus and be...

The parent. A parent and just more responsible and more. It makes you add 10 years of growing up in two. So instead of a ditsy bird, you know, they would be slightly smarter and together. They got them maneuvers. Right, damn, I'm still growing up, but I got to help this person grow up and I'm barely growing yet. So they have to be a little bit smarter.

And they'd understand things like clocks and time. And getting places on time. You know, you wouldn't, you know, I mean, I'm sure in your youthfully days also, were sometimes misled by the more base instincts in your male-ness flowing through you. And you were with someone who like, yes, there were reasons why you were with her,

but Jesus Christ, you wouldn't want to get stuck in an airport with her, you know? Oh, man. Or on a long trip. Who? Or, you know, so. I mean, would you, well, I only had like one real relationship

before the one I'm in now. So, that, but then that was like, we, like, I just know all the wrong things I was doing in that relationship, and which pretty much helped me in this. See, only I have one, what do you want, Mormon? No, I've got a Mormon, bro. It's like, it's just fucking with you.

It's like, no, I just know the shit I was doing, it's just like, okay, when it comes down to real love, like, I have my girlfriends, I have, there's my current relationship with them in now. And the one before that, I was in a relationship with like two years. Right. This one I'm in, it's like been five years already.

So, but in between, and before that, I was fucking around. Right. So, that's pretty much where I was at. So you sold your wild oats? I'm sure you were very attractive to the de-staff side of life. I mean, yeah, I mean. I'm sure. Yes.

But it's just like now, it's just like, dude, it's empty. You know what I'm saying? It's not really as much. It's not really like, it's like, it's cool. Yeah, but am I going to talk to this person? Right. Am I going to really like this person? Right. Am I going to really like this person?

Yeah, I'm totally with you on that. I mean, it came to me later in life. But the idea of being with someone who you don't like, even if they're the most physically sexually attractive person in the world, is a complete non-starter. I mean, getting laid is fantastic. We all would agree with that. But peace of mind priceless. And not enduring anything that really tries your patience. And, you know, again, we've all been there. We were like, you know, basically holding women's purses, I mean metaphorically, sometimes literally. Because we just wanted to get the pussy at the end of the night.

Yeah. And it's a kind of a pathetic, you know, it's fucked up because it's, yeah, it's weak. You know, is that, is like one, you know, do like, what's more pathetic is just like, okay, you got us being like, oh, we pretend to care. Just to get the pussy for that one time and then we just be like, oh, I don't being like, oh, we pretend to care. Just to get the pussy to put it at one time and then we just be like,

oh, I don't like you like that. That's fucked up. That's like, and most men do it, including myself, I did it before. Sure, you know what I'm saying? Another thing, which is pretty weird, is like, say you have a whole bunch of friends, right? You have a whole bunch of like,

homies that you like, or friends with. You, you be like, damn, that girl's fine. Everybody looks at You, you're like, damn, that girl front, fine. Everybody looks at the girl, but like, damn, that girl's fine over there, right? And you'd be like, I bet you I could get her. And then you get her, but you're not getting her because you like her, you getting her because you're trying to prove to another man

that you could get this woman. You mean that really goes on? That actually happens, yeah. Because I've seen it in a lot of movies. No, that actually happens. In real life, life. It would like, man, man, you ain't gonna get it. There's that in a third and then you get it. You better, you lay with it and stuff like that. You don't lay with it. You know what I said? What are we in the Bible? You lay with it. You have in the course where you get in the

entanglement, whatever. And you have it's children, you know, born forth. Not even have the children, you just get it. And then it's just like, so you, okay, you lay with her, you be got a son. But the point is, the point is, is like, just as disgusting how it is, like, with men doing all this nice stuff just to get to that moment of what we could get

with what they to become distant. It's the same thing when it comes down to like, all right, you know, you get this girl, you know, you get her, you talk to her, just down to third, you have sex, whatever. But now you don't talk to her because you only did that just approach to your friends. That is equally as disgusting.

That is probably more disgusting than what we was already talking about. No, that is really disgusting. And again, my knee, naivete, but I thought that really really more disgusting than what we already talked about. No, that is really disgusting. And again, my knee, now you've been saying, but I thought that really only happened in movies. It happens in a lot of movies. And I don't remember ever, I certainly never had the confidence to be the guy to say, I'm going to get this one.

That was definitely not me. But I don't even remember other guys doing that. It's not like a physical bet. No, I... You know what I'm saying? It's actually laying down the money. It's crazy like, it's like in a cock fight. They're collecting the bills.

Long time ago when I was like, what, 2021? Like, it was a girl that me, it was a girl that my homeboy liked and my homegirl liked. It was like, it was a girl that me, it was a girl that my homeboy liked and my homegirl liked. It was just crazy. And then he was like, man, I bet you I'll get a, nah, man, I'll bet you I'll get a, after the end of the day, she ends up having sex with me.

So it's just like, how much did you win? Hmm? I didn't win, I didn't even bet. Like, I wasn't even thinking about it like that. And then I was just thinking to myself like, if I ended up getting it, then that's just pretty much but ends the whole thing.

See, it happens a lot, not to beat this to death, but it happens a lot in movies because it's the perfect foil for what happens at the one hour and five minute mark of every romcom, which is there has to be this moment where they have a falling out. They meet cute, then they're, you know, they don't like each other, and then they fall in love,

and then it looks like it's all going well, and then she finds out that you, what, that night we met, you were winning a better than I can't trust you ever again. You know, that's actually a plot for a movie. Every movie is what I'm telling you. What's that do? Dane Cook?

Every movie. I think they was working on a suit. There are better ones than movies with Dane Cook that have that plot in it. I'm telling you, it is a, and that is the perfect thing for the woman to discover at the 105 mark. And, and then he has to get her back and then there's a thing where she's at the airport and he's getting to the airport, you know, when everyone's helping him because he's in love and you know, it's just, yeah, you don't want to go there.

But I agree with you, it's a disgusting thing. It's very disgusting. That is a very disgusting thing. And it's also kind of gross, not disgusting like that on such a horrible moral level. But to be doing things, any kind of things, like I said, holding the purse just... That's just a form of manipulation, right? Well, I'm just saying, the woman can make you do anything because she knows that you want to get the pussy.

The pussy got power. The power of the P, you SSY. There is no power of the dick. There is no power of the dick. You know that's on? The power of the P, that's why. The power of the P, you SSY. SSY, it's on the Jay-Z and...

They'll say R Kelly. R Kelly. No, then listen to it. Why? I won't listen to it. I don't want to play. Come on, man. I'm not trying to hear about Golden Show. It's just you guys. You kids. No, don't get me wrong.

I love I believe I can fly. But after seeing some Fiving Art Kelly, I can't do it. And you can't separate the art from the art. You know what's crazy? I tried it. I tried to separate the art from it, but it just cuts into my head like, bruh, you come on.

That's maybe that's where our generations are different, but to me, the music didn't rape anybody. And don't give me, like, what he did. It's just the fact that- He did, right? It's just the fact that- If you throw out every, what about Michael Jackson? Can you listen to him?

Cause he fucked a little bit. Allegedly. Not allegedly. Not allegedly. What's that? If you have to be way, way naive, even Oprah has signed off on this. You have to be way naive to think. So my contractions smashed little boys.

Yes, I hate to tell you, but he, he didn't worst it. No, don't do that to me, Donald. See, you believe what you want. You're going to love Michael Jackson now. No, no, no, no. Okay. So obviously your morals on this are flexible. Are Kelly not that important musically? Michael Jackson is, so I'm just not good.

I'm more Kelly's music, but it's just like when you hear something like, and he's ain't nothing but a number and you know he wrote it, it's kind of weird, right? It is very weird, but then it should be for Michael Jackson too. But, dude, Michael Jackson's making a song about touching little boys. Like, oh, I see. You're saying the song itself. Think about it.

My mind's telling me no, but my body's telling me, yes, like, you know, come on. No, right. Exactly. I see what you're saying. You see what I'm saying? I do. I'm not saying those are bad records.

I'm just saying, like, with the shit that went down and then with the that is a very interesting nuance in an argument. You're saying I get it now. You're saying when the when the song itself reminds you of the crime then it's hard to separate them and you're right. Michael Jackson. Yeah, there's nothing like is there proof that Michael Jackson did it? Oh stop. It's just is it proof? No, do I have the little boys underwear? No, I don't. But I'll tell you this.

Oh my goodness. You know why Michael Jackson like chopping at Walmart? Because boys pants were half off. That's sad. I thought I'd bring that one back from the archives of 1997. Oh, man. But, you know, that's an interesting point you make.

Yes, you're right. It is harder when you think of it from the lyrics. But I'll tell you this, Michael Jackson, he was suddenly fighting back by, at the very moment, he was on trial for the child molestation the first time in the, I think, 97 or maybe it was even before that. He released an album called History, which was a lot of old stuff, but he also put some new stuff on that,

and he recorded Charlie Chaplin's theme song, which is called Smile. You may have heard it. It's a lot of current artists do it. Smile, though your heart is aching. Nothing. I heard about it, but it didn't really paint it. Yeah, okay. So this was Charlie Chaplin, one of the most famous child molesters. Charlie Chaplin? Charlie Chaplin, yes. I mean, you got to wear a flimous deck molesters. Charlie Chaplin. Charlie Chaplin, yes. I mean, he was...

The guy who influenced Jackie Chan, Charlie Chaplin. Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan, I don't know what he got from Chaplin, but he's certainly not. The comedy, like the way they do the stunts and stuff like that. Charlie Chaplin was the biggest star of the silent film era. Yeah.

You know all those things that he was doing, like, you know, with the bus and he'll be like, going like this and the bus going over and over. Jackie Chan got that from Charlie Chaplin. Oh, I'm that so interesting because I don't know that much about Jackie Chan. I thought he was just a martial arts. Jackie Chan does martial arts, but he mixed it and took what Charlie Chaplin was doing

and put it together. That's why when he'd be fighting and it looks so funny like with the chairs and stuff like that. That is, oh, I'm so glad you're telling me that. That's so interesting. Yeah, he's a Charlie Chaplin, minister. Charlie Chaplin? Charlie Chaplin?

Charlie Chaplin. Well, of course, in that era, they didn't even consider it a crime. So, but yes, he was always with very, very, very young girls. I diggy married some of them, but yes, I mean, he's well known for this. So for Michael Jackson to record his theme song at the moment he's on trial for child molestation

was to say the least a curious choice, but I always read it as a kind of a fuck you. I mean, I think Michael, whatever was going on in his head, he was a little gone by that time. But I mean, yes, it's unfortunate. And honestly, the worst thing about Michael Jackson did, if you watch this documentary, wasn't even the physical part.

I don't know what sort of physical things were going on. We weren't in the bedroom. It may not have been a lot of actual penetration. It may have been a lot of grabby, grabbing under the covers, whatever it was. It was super inappropriate. You don't do that with children. It was sexual with children.

But what I'm trying to figure out is, who allowed their kid to stay with Michael Jackson? Well, that's a big, big part of the documentary, which is an indictment as it should be of parents and what star fuckers they are and how much they will put their pimp out their own children to get near stardom.

Say what on a Kelly? If you think about it, correct. Who will allow you to, oh, he's our Kelly. He's, he's, you're right. You're right. Like, come on, man. Right. Parents slept in the bedroom next door to Michael Jackson in hotels with their kid in his

bed because it was, what kind of shit is that? Exactly. What kind of shit is that? Exactly. What kind of shit is that? But what I thought was the worst thing Michael Jackson did was that he would, he was basically a serial data the way Leonardo DiCaprio was with supermodels for many years. He seems to be with one person now for quite a while,

but for years, Leonardo DiCaprio would be with one person now for quite a while. But for years, I mean, Leonardo DiCaprio would be with one supermodel after all that, like clockwork every six months. Michael Jackson did that with children. Oh my god. Who, I mean, there's a, brings you to tears scene where this kid, he, that's one of the main witnesses there in the documentary. And I think he was from Australia and Michael met him and you know, calling every night across the continents and like visiting and he's on tour with him

and then brings the kids on tour with him. Oh yeah, brings the kid over from Australia. But between the time he invited him and the time the kid got over, Michael had met someone new, another like eight-year-old. And so the kid comes over from Australia and he's there, but Michael's now, he's not sharing jokes with this kid, he's got the new kid. It would be like making you see your ex having to see you with a new girl.

But to do it to a child. So basically, what you trying to tell me, more of a story is if I'm gonna not listen to our Kelly, a shit and listen to Michael Jackson either. I think you should listen to both of them I do. I don't give a shit what they did. Be it is a great record and I'm gonna play it forever. And I'm also gonna play Ignition and I'm also gonna play Power of the Pay Will.

What's that? That's why. Oh my God. But it's just like, it's Jay's A. But it's just like, we try to, you know, that's why. Oh my God. But it's just like, it's Jay's A-A-A. But it's just like, we tried to, you know, it's crazy. Like my cousin does karaoke at my house, right? So all of us, we was like going through stuff, you know, we playing Lincoln Park

and all these different bands doing karaoke. We pull up, I believe I can fly by R-K-L-E. My girl's like, turn that shit off, like, just turn it off. And then we're all still singing it. It's on me. I'm like, bro, they played us at my graduation. Like, I can't believe all the hard songs that R. Kelly has put out batch the one you like. You never seen Space Jam?

No, I have a scene space jam. I, no. You never seen Space Jam with Michael Jordan. I, but with Looney Tunes and Michael Jordan. No, I've never seen it. Ever. Jordan. But, with Looney Tunes and Michael Jordan. No, I've never seen him. Ever. No, never. I would've remembered.

You gotta watch that movie. You're gonna say no. I'm on your recommendation. Oh, my recommendation is a good movie. I promise. You like Bugs Bunny? No. Okay, you like cartoons.

No, I do not. You hate cartoons. I'm telling you, you're... You hate cartoons. Are you a cartoon hated? I am not a hater, but even as a child, I did not watch. You were not fond of cartoons. What? You weren't fond of cartoons, you know.

I'm still, I'm not except for family guy. Oh, wait, hold on, hold on, flag on the plane, turn around, you know what I'm saying. Family guy, you can watch family guy, but you can't watch Louis Tunes. Well, I think they're very different. They are. I mean, a family guy. And I'm saying it's badunes. Well, I think they're very different. They are.

I mean, Family Guy? And I'm saying it's bad. I like family. I'm saying I couldn't. I'm saying as a child, like, my friends make fun of me because I don't know basic things that everyone else knows about cartoons. Like, you could test me, name some fans.

And you wouldn't know a damn thing about it. Ask me about some cartoon, and I'll tell you. I'll be honest if I know, like, who they are. Doug Dodgers. Who? Okay, there you go. Doug. Doug is, is, is are and who. Duck Dodgers. Who? Okay, there you go. Duck.

Duck is, is, is, Daffy Duck. As, okay, I'm not sure who Daffy Duck is. I think you don't know who Daffy Duck is. Let me think. Do you know who Daffy Duck is? Oh, shit. Let me think.

Daffy Duck is, Donald Duck's wife. Yes. Huh? Donald Duck's wife is Daffy Duck? No. No. There are two different people. Well, of course, Duffy duck is black

What Donald Duck is white? Duffy duck is WB Donald Duck is Disney Well, Duffy duck could be married to Donald duck. No, I think I think Daisy duck is Okay, just like how Mickey Mouse has me So they're not even related these two ducks? No. There's no, they don't even know each other. The two ducks are not related. The only time you see them interact with each other

was or who frame Roger Rabbit. You never saw that. You never see that movie? Oh Jesus Christ. Oh Lord Jesus. I'm so disappointed, man. I mean, I understand you don't, you know, you don't watch cartoons.

It's good. I could name some amazing movies that you should have seen. Okay, it's me. Three days of the condor. Never seen it. There you go. So, and I'm not disappointed. It's like you'll get to it.

I'm just saying it like. This is what life is. Looney Tunes was before my time. You talk to new people. And maybe you get some new input and you're into new things. I will. So what's the one I'm supposed to watch that's a space jam?

Space jam. But you don't like art tools, so I'm not even going to let you watch it. You know, I will find a moment where it is appropriate. Now, I'm not going to promise you that if I'm miserable for the first 28 minutes, then I'm going to finish it. Okay. Because I don't think it's going to get different. I'm just saying, you that if I'm miserable for the first 28 minutes, then I'm gonna finish it. Okay. Because I don't think it's gonna get different.

I'm just saying, at least try it. It's kind of like a full set point of all. I wish I could. Just try to shit. I will try it. If you don't like it, just say fuck this, and then you just go to the next account, for example. That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

You like family guy? That's pretty good. Yeah, but that's so different. I mean, it's a cartoon, but it's written for adults. And it's also one of... So you're like American dad? Well, one of my best friends is... Seth, who was a...

Seth, who was a... Runs it, I have a prop here from a movie I did with him here at Club Random. Was it Ted? Now it was once upon a time in the West. Oh, yeah, I like that movie, too. Oh, good. That was a good one. Yeah, so, I mean, that show just tickles me

and still I think is such great set. You can get away with things in cartoons that you can't live action. Many is the night, I wish I could turn myself. Wait, I see that episode you were in. That's when Brian wrote that book in a day. Correct, I know what episode I want. I'm in a few episodes, but you're right.

There's a whole one that it takes place on the set of real time. That's so funny. I forgot about that. That's right. Brian wrote that book. And the cartoons, yeah, I'm live action in their cartoony. It's...

It was funny as hell. But what were we talking about? Oh, about disgusting things men do. And I just wanted to say that it's, I, this thing about doing things just to get laid, it's so weak. Not weak like slapping a guy because life gave you a dirty look.

That's super weak. It's just like fucking weak. It's just like, come on man, you gotta do all that just to get this right. Right. And just think that like to make your wife not mad at you, you have to get up in front of a billion people and slap a beloved comedian who you should be friends with. And I'm sure they were friends.

They were friends. And they'll probably be friends again. He already apologized. Yeah, but that was over Instagram, man. If you were a man, like hell no fuck no. Like I'll much rather somebody tell me to my face like, yo, tell me about it. I am so sorry that I did that. That was wrong on me.

If you told me that in a person, like you know I'm saying just pretty much put it in person. Yeah, you did on Instagram to clean it up. Like, I commend you to put that, but you gotta actually, a fun call. So, you know what I'm saying? Not even a text. Tell me, tell me of your millennial morays. It's just the apology over Instagram.

This does not constitute a real apology in your millennial. No, I would much rather talk to the person and apologize to them. Oh, because at least you know it came from me. You know, that's what I would call old school. That's like what I believe. Of course, I'm not even on Instagram, or maybe I am, but not really.

Not really. Somebody's managing it for you, right? No, I probably not supposed to say that. It's me. I'm not at all the talk to tell. Are It's me. I don't know the content cell. Are you kidding? I gotta go check it right now. Oh my God.

No, I don't know, but to do things virtually, I mean, you've got the right idea, my friend. You're just important things you just do not do virtually. You have to look people in the eye. I mean, look at this. And you know that you're shooting them straight. We didn't, let's be honest. We didn't know each other from Adam.

At what? When we walked, when we both met here at Club Random tonight, right? Right. I mean, honestly, you don't know my work. I don't know yours. Now we're gonna find out maybe, you know? We're gonna watch each other's movies.

Do a lot of life. I know all about your personal life. You'll, you'll propose to your wife on my show. One day. Which is pretty amazing since we only know each other a half hour at the time. Oh, I forgot what I was going to say. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I would.

I mean, you know, I never seen for a damn club cigarettes. I never seen politically incorrect. Right. You weren't even born. And I know about the HBO show, but I was just like, damn, he's about to get into politics. Fuck that. Clog cigarettes. I never seen politically incorrect. Right. You weren't even born. And I know about the HBO show, but I was just like, damn, he's about to get into politics. Fuck that. I'm just over it.

No, I was like, but see, as you get older and you get kids, you're going to have these kids. I know you're going to drop one before 30, right? No, I'm dropping one at 30. And then you're going to drop. Boom. I'm going to be like, hey, drop them draws. We about to get at it.

Wait, is this girl? No, she's on such a schedule? It's like, honey, come on. It's like, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Once I make my mind up, you just like, you're doing this. You're going to go through the same progression

that is the normal thing in American life. As you have kids, then you house mortgage taxes, you want to know about your kid's future, you will get more into politics, because you'll care more about who runs this country, and what they're saying, and who really is caring about what you care about, and the issue isn't taking care of things,

and you won't just, you won't just like, oh, I can tune it all out. Yeah, we can do that when you're young. People tend to like to, you know, and when you do, you'll come here, because at least I make it funny and I tell you what's what. And it is what it is.

It's like, all right, it's great to meet you. Great to meet you too. Yeah, we'll do it again. And you'll come here when we're not like on camera, we're gonna reach to have a party. Oh, yeah. Bring your girl. Oh, my girl, oh, speaking of which,

I gotta do this on camera. My girl loves you, by the way. She fucking loves you. She was like, I was taking a nap today, and then she was like, you gotta go to an interview, like who's interviewing today?

I was like, I'm doing an interview with Beer Mar. She was like, Bill Mar? Bill mother fucking Mar, I was just like, the day of mother fucking life. What are you serious? Talk about burying the lead, you saved the best for last.

Well, you have got to marry this girl yesterday. Obviously you are with such a brilliant girl, smarter than you. Oh, whoa, whoa, he. I, whatever. Right? Wait, wait. When a guy says you're girl is smarter than you

and she's gonna see it, you better say yes. Yes, you're smarter than me. Or you're gonna get slapped. Oh, yeah. Hey, but the thing is, I'm gonna get smacked, but it won't be on the Oscars of the grand finale. No, it won't be there. Whatever, me, that.

All right, you bring your body. I would love to meet her. Oh, yeah. All right. I can tell I'm coming through now. I was you here? No, I'm here. Oh, man.

What is that, man? Yeah, this is good. You're in a real interview. Huh? I would hardly call that an interview. That wasn't. That's exactly.