Club Random with Bill Maher - Esai Morales | Club Random
Episode Date: June 22, 2025Bill Maher welcomes actor Esai Morales for a rapid-fire hangout that jumps from tequila and raw-food fitness to fatherhood and playing the villain in Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning. They ...swap Pacino impressions, riff on devil lore and dating, then spiral into AI and conspiracy theories. Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: https://billmaher.substack.com Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: https://bit.ly/ClubRandom Support our Advertisers: -Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at https://www.mintmobile.com/random -Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/random #rulapod #ad Buy Club Random Merch: https://clubrandom.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it. For advertising opportunities please email: PodcastPartnerships@Studio71us.com ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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When you're dead, you need to leave that to,
oh, you don't have.
No.
Nevermind.
Is this thing on?
Club, random. Not sound like a douchebag who's this thing I like.
Not sound like a douchebag who's trying to be smart, you know, like.
No, you're a douchebag who is smart.
Thank you.
Oh, you're so kind.
My normal intimate conversation with an old friend.
Oh my God.
I need my naps. Jesus. Oh my God.
I need my naps.
Look at you.
I hate you.
I just rushed from my studio.
I'm so sorry.
No, listen.
I'm usually the late one.
I got my prayers in.
I got my prayers in.
We don't usually do Friday taping,
but I just wanted to see you so bad.
It's brilliant.
You look the same.
Oh, thank you, little gray hair,
but hey, we wear it well, right?
No, you really aged well.
I mean, it's amazing when you get up into these ages.
Can you just say that on the air?
We are on the air.
I'm kidding, no we're not.
Yeah, we are.
I was teasing you.
But really, I mean, when you get into like over 50, people age very differently.
Really.
I mean, some people look 112 and some people look amazing.
Like as good as you can look, you, I don't know, you must eat well.
But you always were very health conscious.
And that's the thing, you know, in my 30s,
I did a photo shoot and I wasn't as conscious
as I should have been and it didn't go well
and I looked bloated, I looked like I was in my 50s
and I was like, okay, this is not bode well for a career,
you know, unless you're gonna play that guy for the rest of your life.
Really?
That doesn't sound like you.
So I got into, no, I got serious about like raw foods, you know, like health.
Like there's something called the natural hygiene diet, which is like, you know, things
meant for the human being and less processed.
But when I used to hang around with you a lot, we were both bachelors.
Of course, you grew up, I did not.
Believe me, I wouldn't go that far, but okay.
I'm still working on it.
I'm good.
But, you know, we were out and when you're out, you drink.
But we were young.
Our body could handle it.
Oh, absolutely.
And we did.
It's not my friend now, but I did agree.
I did say, you know, because it's you,
I will do tequila with you.
Oh, great.
Tequila.
I just had some.
Yeah.
I'm going to catch up with you.
Yeah.
You should.
You have a great year.
I saw your movie, the biggest movie ever, I guess, full time.
Action film in the world.
The biggest action film in the world.
The biggest.
Well, isn't the Mission Impossible franchise the biggest?
Probably. Can't be, I mean I can't imagine if you added them all together anything
ever made more money than that. And you're a great bad guy, you see, I gotta say.
I can't. For somebody who I know is not a bad guy.
Don't ruin my bad reputation. I've found you very convincing. Is this thing on?
Yes, yeah totally. I found you very convincing. Is this thing on? Yes, yeah, totally. I've found you very convincing.
Mahalem, by the way.
As an evil prick who was going to destroy the world.
That's quite a feather in your cap
because Rocky does not work without Mr. T.
You have to have the, you know. You can't. You have to have the, you know, you can't…
You have to have the mountain to climb, right?
Well, you have to have the adversary who is equal to the hero.
Formidable enough.
I mean, the original version of that is, of course, Paradise Lost. God has to fight the
devil. I mean, as an atheist, I always said,
if he's God and he's all powerful,
I don't see why this is an issue.
I don't see why it's, can't he just eliminate the devil?
I mean, plainly, he's not all powerful then.
I don't think it's that.
And so funny, because we've been talking for years.
But isn't that the truth?
But yes and no, because you have to think about
the duality of nature, yin and yang.
It takes one to define the other oftentimes.
Do you know what I mean?
From a purely religion standpoint, many religions believe in the devil, some sort of devil.
And God is always all-powerful, but explain that to me, how God can be all powerful and
still not be able to bring this guy down in the 14th round.
I think that the game isn't over, number one.
The game isn't over?
Yeah, it isn't over.
Oh, I see.
Things are still playing.
I'm a person of faith, but I believe so much that it doesn't offend me when people don't.
As a matter of fact, I respect an honest atheist a lot more than a full of it.
So you think there is a devil?
I think that there is.
I don't know if it's a person, but I think that there's malevolence.
It might be James Corden.
I'm kidding.
That's so funny.
I met him. That's so funny.
I met him.
He's a very sweet guy.
But the devil, then again, doesn't act like the devil
all the time, right?
I mean, that's the key.
Well, that's the key about the devil.
And I'm kidding about James.
I mean, we had a little thing, but I don't have any animosity.
But he would never be the devil.
The devil's hot. The devil, I mean, you could be the devil. The devil's hot. The devil, I mean,
you could be the devil. The devil's like you, because the devil has to be like super, like
baller. I mean, he's like Shaft.
The angel of light, if you think about it.
He's the bad dick that all the chicks want, you know, and he...
But why?
Because he has to, because that's how, that's where his power comes from. He's a seducer.
I think the key is-
He can't be a seducer.
I think the key is power, what you just said.
I think nowadays, financial security is a big thing, you know?
And it's still security.
Always.
That's the modern version of creating a nest.
Creating a safe-
Yeah, at St. Haven.
But then men want to feel safe to do what, though?
To then stop worrying about the other guy.
Men want to be safe to be vulnerable, too.
And that's where it gets tricky, because oftentimes.
Safe to be vulnerable?
Yeah, I think.
I think some.
Not all.
I don't know what that means.
Well, because think about it.
You don't want to come home to somebody else
you've got to fight with and argue and have power play. Oh, no. You don't. You want to come home to somebody else you've got to fight with and argue and like have power play.
Oh no, you don't.
You want to come home to be nurtured.
To be kind of like what they call us oftentimes, we're little boys to them.
No matter what it is, you can be as manly as you want, but they view us as a little
boy, especially if you're vulnerable at all.
If they do, and that is a very prevalent thing,
absolutely, if you look at the way men are portrayed,
certainly in American culture.
Post Homer Simpson, dude.
Post love and marriage, you know, post 90s,
men are dorks, basically.
Dorks, exactly.
They are the fourth child if she has three kids.
But I think that's not by accident.
That's by design. And I don't think that's not by accident. That's by design.
And I don't think it's not by accident.
First of all, it gets laughs.
Yeah.
It's a tired joke, but it's still works.
It's a tired joke, but on the sitcom,
it's always head up his ass, dad.
And it's part of the pandering to, look,
I mean, everything has a reaction for too long.
We were horrible to women.
There's going to be a reaction.
And part of that reaction was, let's all pretend women are perfect and men are completely awful.
We're always toxic.
That pendulum swing.
Exactly.
The pendulum never stops in the middle.
So it's part of that.
Yes.
I used to do a whole bit about like daytime shows were always what I called making women
nod.
Like, you have to be saying something on Oprah,
one of those shows where women are going.
You know who was the master of that, who I miss,
but you know, got canceled? Phil Donahue.
Phil could make women nod.
Phil Donahue was the sensitive guy.
But he always had a sense of fairness,
and that came to bite him back in the butt.
Another guy who could not play the devil,
because he's not sexy.
I mean, it's nice, I'm sure women like that,
when a guy makes them nod, but that's not making them come.
Making them nod and making them come
are two very different things.
In fact, if you're nodding when you're coming,
that guy is not doing it right.
I don't know how to react now,
because I got a 14 year old daughter now.
Everything is like, oh God,
they should go watch this.
Isai, you're making me feel so old.
You were the guy I was out drinking at the clubs with
and now you have a 14 year old?
14 year old taller than me and growing up.
How long have you been married?
I'm not.
That's what I love about you, Esau.
Perfect answer.
You're not.
I mean, no, no.
Why would you be?
You're the devil.
Fuck that.
Here's the thing.
I don't think you have to go through the traditional route
to take care of your family and to be dedicated to them
and to make sure that the two most important,
you know, or the most important women in your life.
Are you unmarried to the same person?
I, you know, again, this is something I, you know, we need to hold another podcast.
Okay, then let's just leave that vague.
But I am, I am.
Good.
Let's all be vague.
I want to be vague.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to. No, no, no. You know what? Don't throw down because I don't want to throw down.
Let's just say we're both happy.
But we want to be interesting.
We're two unmarried devils.
That's it.
That's all we are.
I just know that I don't need a religious figure or a state to sanctify my union.
Right. That's funny when you say that because when people say to me, as they have over the
years, why didn't you ever get married? It's like a disease. I got the this is us fucking
fungal infection and I'm a crazy zombie. Why didn't you ever get married? I always say,
why would I invite the federal and state government into my love life? My love life? The thing that is more mercurial than anything in our
existence? I'm going to try to quantify that and governmentify that? I don't think so.
It's bad business to them one thing, by the way, for whoever is the main earner. It's
just bad business. And the most unromantic thing to do is to ask somebody,
by the way, in case we do this,
would you sign this piece of paper?
And they look at you like, you piece of sh,
you know what I mean, like really?
Anytime you're asking a woman to sign a piece of paper,
you're not making them nod or come.
Nothing is, they may not come back. They may not come, exactly. It's just not or come. Nothing is that. They may not come back. Exactly. It's just not a good.
But here's the thing. Nothing will stop me from learning or loving. And my motto in life is learn
to love and love to learn. Do you know? You made that up? Kind of. Sounds like it had to be on
somebody. It's pretty basic. No, but it. It sounds like it had to be on somebody.
It's pretty basic.
No, but it's...
Sounds like it had to be on some T-shirt at Venice Boulevard.
No, but somebody told me once, what advice do you give to kids or people?
And I'm thinking, what's the most basic thing?
Learn to love and love to learn.
And I think that's the problem we have today.
I've been telling kids the wrong advice.
I'm always telling them, stay out of school and get into drugs. Is that wrong?
You know what if you think about
Medicinal mushrooms it is amazing that it heals the brain and it actually helps repair and re and like
Regrow brain neural pathways that we didn't have before so mushrooms and certain psychedelic drugs
I think are illegal because they grow consciousness,
but it's how you use them.
It's like fire.
Fire could burn or it could heal.
It could warm, it could cook.
Water could drown you or it could save your life.
So I believe in the nuance of things.
I'm a big advocate of weed, but I don't smoke anymore
because I...
I mean, and you'm a big advocate of weed, but I don't smoke anymore because I...
I mean, and you're a big medical researcher
of the things I remember about you
from when we saw each other a lot.
One, fun guy to be out with.
Two, fun basketball we played here.
And I'm not a baller like you.
You're a baller, you're a real baller,
but I'm a hustler is what I am.
A great passer.
Thank you. And the third... I learned that're a real baller, but I'm a hustler is what I am. Great passer. Thank you.
I learned that in the clubs.
Third thing was you are interested in science and medicine.
I mean, I remember when you were very, very, very like almost Lenny Bruce level obsessed
with AIDS and that they, I mean, I remember you giving me a book, which
I still have. Oh my God.
A number of copies of it. It was a thin book, but it was like everything you know about
AIDS is wrong. Yes.
I think it was called. I mean, this was something that you were very, and I don't know where
you are with that now. I helped fund it.
No, no, but like with AIDS, are we still, at the time, and this is going back 20 years, right?
This book, wouldn't you say?
More?
Early 90s, late 80s, yeah.
Not, okay.
Early 90s, that little bit.
I think by the time I was,
I don't think I got to know you until I,
well, politically incorrect, went on in 93.
Is that how we met?
Yeah, I did it like two or three years ago.
Okay, so all right, well mid 90s, Jesus Christ.
Oh my God. But you know what? We're still alive and you look great. I did it like two or three years ago. Okay, so all right, well mid-90s, Jesus Christ. Yeah.
Oh my God.
But you know what?
Okay, but- We're still alive
and you look great, come on.
Well, I didn't get AIDS, so that was helpful.
But like-
Makes two of us.
But you were very skeptical
of what they were saying about AIDS.
Are they still telling us the not truth about AIDS?
Of course.
Really?
Well, they're still using the same paradigm.
You see, I made friends with a guy.
I was stupid enough to try to make a documentary about this because I was young and I thought
I told the world.
Last thing I realized is that it's not very smart to invest money and time into something
that goes against what the consensus is supposed to swallow.
When you piss off the people who think they have the answers,
whether it's on the left or the right,
I mean, like I say it a million times,
but I think the right is more dangerous,
but the left is more obnoxious.
I mean, they-
Listen, they've switched places to me a couple of times.
They do many, exactly, exactly.
It's like the exorcist.
I mean, look at RFK.
He's with the Trump administration now.
Yeah, but I love him. I love him. I RFK. He's with the Trump administration now. Yeah.
And like, he's-
But I love him.
I love him.
I was going to say, I bet you you're his biggest fan.
And I'm a fan, but not near where you got-
Why?
Where you and Woody Harrelson are, because I just
can't go there with all the places I think he goes to.
But on the general, his idea that we're sick basically
because of the toxins in the atmosphere and
what we eat and what we breathe and all this stuff.
And also pharmaceuticals and also the pills.
The real cartels, right?
Yeah, the things that they give kids.
I mean, so many kids, no wonder they're drug addicts of some sort later in life, because
you started, you made them a drug addict when they were eight years old.
How about when they're born? We've put sugar in everything they eat.
Yes.
We feed them in Halloween.
We just, it's like sugar, sugar, sugar, man.
No, I always give a kid Pepsi.
A baby I'm talking about.
I think you should give babies.
You breastfeed Pepsi, right?
No, seriously,
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Okay, that's what I've come to learn. Okay, so where are we now with AIDS?
Because certainly people who have it are better off.
I mean, they used to die and now they get,
I mean, whatever they get keeps them alive.
This is a rough thing.
And I swore to myself,
I would not go head first into the canceling
thing. You know it's Friday the 13th. I stupidly agreed to this date. We've been trying to
do this for how long?
You don't really believe that matters. Friday the 13th?
I don't, but I consider.
Well, you're the devil. Of course you're going to like Friday the 13th.
I don't believe everything, but I will consider everything.
In the analogy of you as the devil, just the fact that you haven't killed Tom Cruise in the first two
times you had.
Don't give it away, guys.
Don't give it away.
Oh right, like they're wondering who won at the end of Mission Impossible.
Spoiler alert, Tom's a hero.
He's the last great movie star.
I mean, first day on the set I said, I don't know anyone who's done what you've done.
That's true.
Have stayed in the top five, if not like 10, whatever.
At 62.
No, for 40 years, for four decades.
I have to respect his accomplishments.
The movies are generally very entertaining without mass appeal, without insulting my
intelligence, like some movies do.
It's like, I get it, this is just for the popcorn crowd.
No, I mean, I met him once very briefly
and I just had to tell him, I said,
night and day, one of my favorite movies of all time.
And it was not one of his hits by his level,
by his level, probably made $200 million or something.
But him and Cameron Diaz, it's just like such a delightful,
fun caper movie.
It's, you know, I think-
Vanilla Sky, remember that?
Vanilla Sky, I never understood what the fuck was going on.
But it was still a fun ride.
When she takes that car.
You know what?
You know I identified with that so much.
I take it very personally when the movie makes me feel like a fucking idiot.
Okay, I'm like, okay, I get it.
I'm not this modest guy in the world.
No, no, no, sorry.
But you have to do this to me.
Don't take it personal.
The other one that dude who did Oppenheimer did with the DiCaprio movie. Who's who did?
Oh, right, right, right.
You know what I'm talking about.
Yes, yes, the most popular, like the big name now.
Oh my God, this is so bad for me.
Well, I smoked a lot of pot, so I'm-
Oh my God.
What's his name?
Yes.
Did Batman?
Yes.
This is like-
He's the biggest, like one of the biggest directors today.
People watching him is like, oh wow.
This is like the two stoners.
Dude, the dude's name. Anyway, I know of the biggest directors today. People watching this are like, oh wow, this is like the two stoners. Dude, dude's name.
Anyway, I know it when I'm sober.
He's one of the big directors.
And he did that one, it was a one word title
with Leonardo DiCaprio.
I didn't know what was going on in that one.
And then he did another one a couple of years ago
that like everything moved backward in time
and I thought that was bullshit.
Interstellar?
Interstellar, no, no, no.
No, that's something different.
There's the other one where the world
kind of comes up with DiCaprio.
That was another one, yeah.
That's the one I'm talking about.
Yeah, that's called, that's a big name.
And I know people who did understand it.
And I'm more than happy to say,
there are people in the world who are brighter than me.
I don't even know if I want to be them.
Does that make them happier?
I think in a lot of ways, that makes them sadder.
I think if you can understand that movie, yeah.
You're probably not that.
Chris Nolan.
Chris Nolan.
Yeah.
Amazing director.
Christopher Nolan.
Great director.
Tasteful, tasteful.
Really, one of those British, like, you know.
Except when he goes off the reservation
and does something that makes me feel like a fucking idiot.
Inception?
Is that the one?
Inception.
Yeah.
You see, what happens if you relax,
chill out a minute, it'll come back to you.
Just when I thought I forgot.
Anyway, sorry.
I go into my Al.
Well.
By the way, I did a little movie with Alec Baldwin
and Terrence Howard, who I love. Who you've, you know, I'm sure...
I had him here. Love him.
I love him.
Anyway, I love Terrence Howard.
He's got some interesting out there.
Yeah, but you know what?
You two would get along.
We do.
But Alec Baldwin and I had an aloft, or a Pacino off,
where we were both talking like,
who are if there was half a man?
If I was.
That's great.
That is really a good.
Say hello to my little friend.
That is a really good aloft Pacino aloft.
Listen, Al's the reason,
like when I saw him in Dog Day Afternoon in like the 70s,
I was like 12, 13 years old,
I saw that thousand yard stare,
and I've said this in interviews, you know,
they go, what made you become an actor?
What made you become an actor?
Good question.
The point that I decided this was what I wanted to do
for a living was looking at his thousand yard stare
in Dog Day Afternoon after like he's in too deep.
And it's like, what am I gonna do now?
What am I gonna do? And you just you see this like this this could cost me my
life. I'm in a bank. I'm robbing this. And then I just felt so much with just a
look, a glare, a glance like he was looking through me. And I elbowed my buddy.
And the plot of that one, if I recall.
I said, that's what I'm gonna do.
I said, that's what I'm gonna do.
If I was half the man I was.
And he was, sorry, guys.
This tequila is a good tequila.
I always feel like that's Al's great thing.
It's like he makes ham look good.
Oh, dude, nobody better put some cheese on it.
But he means it.
The thing about Al is he freaking means it.
He's all in.
Right.
And that's what you got to be as an actor.
That's true.
Can't phone it in.
Fuck off.
No, I love him.
I mean, if he'd only ever did Michael Corleone.
But it's funny, like Michael Corleone,
he did, you know, of course it's the roles you get,
but he did become sometimes, yes, like your impression,
a little over the top and we loved it.
But Michael Corleone, that performance is the exact opposite.
It is so right in here.
Oh, it's so there.
I mean, he is so chilling.
Measured.
Measured and just like quiet and cold.
What he understood right from the beginning,
that's what makes this character,
he just character does not have to yell.
I think he yells one time at his wife.
Yeah.
It wasn't the bad guy.
Come on.
Who else?
Who pushes off buttons, guy. Come on when he's who else?
Who pushes off buttons?
Says a lot you're right. Yeah, Barzini I can handle that but Kay you are driving me to the moon
But like you know when he is threatening Carlo, you know, Carlo, don't lie to me. Don't lie to me.
It insults my intelligence, and that makes me very angry.
Now, who approached you?
Was it Barzini?
Who's the other guy?
Oh, I thought I know like my name, but I'm stoned.
But still, man, look at you. Look at you.
Look at you.
Casting directors, take note.
I'll take note. It's so right in like, it's so. Look at you. Casting directors, take note. Right, I'm taking note.
It's so right in here, and that's what makes it chilling.
No, it's, it's, yeah.
And then Al's performance the whole time,
I mean, he just, he just keeps it right, I mean, it's.
But then he did Bobby Deerfield,
which was like really underplayed,
and it didn't really, you know what I mean?
Like, all of us actors try to go against.
Now, these are movies that, I mean, I know that that name and I don't know if I ever saw it.
Was he a race car driver or something?
Yeah, I think so. I didn't see it but I just knew that it didn't hit.
But Dog Day Afternoon is iconic. I just want to say to the kids who don't like,
well, what, what? You have to watch Dog Day Afternoon.
Dog Day Afternoon, he is...
School, go to school.
Here's what's very... Everybody by the way ahead of its time. Everybody in that movie was ridiculously good.
Here's where it's really way ahead of its time.
He was robbing a bank to get money for a sex change operation.
A sex change operation.
Chris Sarandon, who was just amazing,
and the way he helped, he closed his thing.
It's like, stop, please, please.
I mean, it was amazing.
Yeah, but like, that was not Ned Beatty.
Oh, I don't remember.
No, no, Durning, Charles Durning, sorry.
I used to confuse him.
The police officer.
Ned Beatty's in deliverance.
Oh, forget that.
The one who's about to get fucked in the ass
by the hillbillies.
Nobody ever forgot that scene though.
No.
And the guy, the hillbilly goes, he ain't got no hair in his mouth.
He's got purdy lips.
It's chilled us for 50 years.
If you were a-
Clockwork Orange.
Adolescent who saw that.
That movie and a few others just from my whole childhood.
How could you not?
Midnight Cowboy.
Oh, Midnight Cowboy.
John Voight.
Everybody's talking about me.
Oh, one of the greatest.
That soundtrack.
Nilsson, Harry Nilsson.
I feel like 70s movies earned their reputation.
People often say that was the golden age.
Now, there's the old school golden age,
but it's almost hard to compare them
because I watch old movies a lot
and you have to watch them with a knowledge
that things have changed so much,
that some of this is just gonna look ridiculous
and you just have to go with it.
People just were super, super different,
certainly about issues like race and sex.
So you're just gonna have to understand that.
But also like the purity level.
I mean, what, and also what passes as realism,
they did not make any attempt
and they did not think you needed to.
Taxi driver, I missed the time square.
Well, if you shot a guy in 1945, you didn't see any sort
of realistic death.
It was like, OK, the audience, we get it.
It was noir.
We knew what was going on.
Style.
The gun went off, and he went down.
Hitchcock, you don't see blood ever.
You didn't have to.
And then it became Tarantinoino and you saw lots of blood.
Gorn.
Right.
So when you're watching one from the old days like that,
you just, you've got to put yourself in a different head,
which is not that hard to do.
I feel bad.
Not that hard to do.
You fucking idiot.
You need a disclaimer before the movie.
Before you watch this movie, we'd like to yell at you
for not being as good as people should have been.
It may trigger you.
It has real emotions.
I feel bad for kids today who are so hooked on the little,
like the device screen.
You know?
What does your 14-year-old do with it?
Well, I mean, I don't want to get too personal,
but I regret giving her a phone.
It's just like, it's such a matter.
It's so hard to avoid.
And then they look at you on it all day.
I go, yeah, but I'm paying for your bills with this, too.
I'm not just like, you know, let's compare algorithms.
But wouldn't you?
It's a science.
I'm into, like, truth, science.
Oh, I know.
I want to know what's really going on.
And it gets me in trouble, by the way.
But if you didn't give your 14-year-old a phone,
wouldn't she be?
A pariah, some weird.
And also hating you for not giving her
what every other parent gave their kids.
That's part of it.
You don't raise your kids in isolation.
You raise them in a society.
What is it? It takes a village at most?
Yes.
It takes a village and a village can also fuck you up.
Because the village has decided that the kids have phones.
Which makes you the bad guy.
Yes.
Yes.
You have no idea how hard it is for me to like, I came from like, you know, getting
beaten.
Really?
Seriously.
Beaten where?
Like, all over your body.
By who?
By your loving parents.
Oh, by your parents?
Your parents beat you?
Oh my God.
It meant they loved you.
Really?
You gotta understand this.
In old school culture, they would point to the kids who could stay out all night and
do whatever they want, talk back to their parents and go,
that kid's gonna end up in jail on drugs,
or you know, like, you know, a loser.
And they were right most of the time.
If you don't have some sort of boundary
that they can push up against and go,
oh, okay, okay, this ain't okay.
And what did they beat you for?
All kinds of things.
I got backhanded.
But for a reason.
Usually, it's disrespect or doing stupid things,
which I'm still prone to.
We all do stupid things.
No, I don't.
What stupid thing do you do?
Oh, you want me to say it here?
Yeah.
But don't tell anybody.
I mean, I've never read one bad word about you.
Put it this way.
Never one bad word.
Thank God, but there are people who don't like me.
I became friends.
I tried to do a documentary on AIDS.
That's why I'm going to go back on the AIDS thing.
And I became friends with a guy who won the Nobel Prize
for inventing PCR, Dr. Carey Mullis, who's a bona fide genius.
And he did not buy any of Fauci's stuff.
He was just not having it.
He would challenge him to debates and stuff
and just wouldn't accept it.
Now I don't wanna talk bad about anyone.
I'm that guy, I'm like, you know,
I like being the bad guy in the movies.
I do everything I can to make up for that in real life.
I like my demons to work for me, not through me.
And it's taken a lot.
It's another good t-shirt.
But it's taken a lot.
It's a never ending battle.
I see, I get it.
When you think you've conquered it,
they let you know, no, not so fast.
So I met him and he told me brilliant things
that years later I was like, oh my God, oh
my God.
Things about the ozone layer and environmentalism and things that I used to go and do PSAs about
because as a dutiful liberal actor, you know, you read your script and yeah, you don't want
the world to end.
You find out that the world was going to end in the 60s, it was going to end in the 70s,
it was going to end in the 80s.
It doesn't mean it won't. Yeah, but we're not going to end it. The planet was going to end in the 60s, it was going to end in the 70s, it was going to end in the 80s. It doesn't mean it won't.
Yeah, but we're not going to end it.
The planet is going to be here.
We may end ourselves.
Oh, you know, George Carlin used to say that and I thought it was stupid then.
No.
I don't care about the planet being here.
I care about me being able to live on the planet.
Let me give you an idea.
I went on the beach in Puerto Rico where I was locked up, thank goodness, in a condo
on a beach and a dear friend of mine was able to let up, thank goodness, in a condo on a beach
and a dear friend of mine was able to let me, you know, I rented it as my place instead
of a hotel and there was a beach and at night I would sneak in and swim.
I was going crazy.
I was going crazy being locked up and I knew that I needed, and then when I heard the call,
I was going to get on a plane to London.
I was like, I have to swim, I gotta get in shape.
They asked me if I could be physical,
and yeah, I can be physical, but you know,
so I would swim for hours at night.
Wow.
Off the coast of Puerto Rico.
That seems scary.
Dude, I'm gonna tell you.
I would never do that.
In the ocean at night?
In the ocean at night, and let me tell you something.
Oh my God.
Faith, yeah, God.
I applied a lot of faith.
Let me tell you one of the scariest things that ever happened to me by myself.
And then eventually I made friends with somebody and we'd both like watch out for the cops
and then go in.
And I had a beard at the time, you know, white beard.
And like when the cops would, I'd put my face in the water so they wouldn't see because
they'd flash the lights.
I feel like the ocean at night is a black monster.
There's a million ways to kill me.
And after that, again, it was the desperation
of being locked up that I said, I have to swim.
And what I learned.
Gotta swim.
Gotta swim.
But let me tell you something.
What I learned about nature just two weeks after being locked down,
that people weren't in the ocean, on the beach all day
with their sun tan lotions and the boats with the oil,
the fish came back, a lot of fish were back.
And even the plankton that glue in the,
we have phosphorescent bays, but when I would move it,
I would see tiny little bits of that coming back.
And then I realized, guess what comes back when fish come back?
Predators.
And one night I felt something huge bump up against my leg and I shit you not.
I was like, I made it back.
I hide.
What was it, a shark?
I don't know.
That's more terrifying.
I don't know.
It could have been a manatee. Why do you think it didn't bite you?
Because not everything is hungry. Sometimes they're just feeling. But the point is-
Sometimes you're just horny. You said he pumped up against you.
You know what I mean?
We've all heard that excuse on the subway.
And I was in good shape.
Hey!
No, but the point is that I was like, I could get eaten at night, and not in the good way,
and never be found.
And no one would know.
And you did this, why?
Because I knew I was being lied to
because I had to rebel against the system.
I had to say, my big F you.
And you're not gonna stop me from being in salt water,
swimming for, at times, I mean,
I never swam so much in my life and I would tread water
and I'd go really deep
because as long as you can tread water and not panic,
you catch your breath.
And I would just pray God, angels, the universe,
whoever it is out there, because I'm religious,
but I'm not religious, you know what I mean?
And people go, oh, I'm spiritual as a fad,
but I just know something, somebody out there, in here,
all around loves me enough that has not allowed me
to destroy myself.
But what do you say to the person who gets eaten?
Why didn't the God love him?
You know what I mean?
What about all the people who have the shitty outcome?
A very good point.
I used to say that about the Trump assassination
when people would say, Bill, don't you think that's staged?
I'm like, you moron.
Of course it's not staged.
But I wondered about that too, though.
Oddly enough, you know why?
Because you went down, then you come back and it's all here.
But OK, a bullet did go.
And somebody died there.
Right.
That's my point.
It couldn't have been staged.
And people say, God saved Trump.
Where was the God for the other guy?
And here's what I will tell you about that.
I do believe life is eternal.
This is just a phase.
What happens to us here is like a gestation period.
You're alive before you're born, but you're not technically born.
No, let's get into abortion.
No, I'm saying you're alive.
You're evolving. People think, are get into abortion. No, I'm saying you're alive. You're evolving. You
know, people think, are you into creation or evolution? And I'm like, I don't think
they're mutually exclusive.
Really?
Yeah, I think we evolve as people. Don't you?
Well, creationism says the world is 6,000 years old.
That's literal, yeah.
Oh, well, that's creationism.
Yeah, but I believe we were, again, our holy books are ill-preserved records of God-knowing men.
But, you know, this is what George Bush used to say when he was president.
Why?
Like, well, he was trying to, it was a big issue. Should we teach creationism in school?
And he would say, teach evolution and creationism. Teach them both. And I would say, no, stupidity
is not another form of knowledge.
It's just a different thing on its own
and you shouldn't teach both.
You're allowed to believe whatever you want.
I may be believing.
I disagree with you.
I think you should teach both and eventually,
one doesn't have to,
like we as human beings are extremely contradictory.
Oh, well, of course.
OK.
So for me, political parties like, I'm too old for parties now.
I love when you said, I didn't leave the Democratic Party, the party left me.
I didn't say that.
Yeah, you did.
I heard you say that.
No, no, no.
I didn't.
What did you say?
I heard you say that, Bill.
What you're doing, which is not wrong, is you're conflating what people have said in the past about leaving parties.
With the, wait, I know me better than you know.
I don't know.
I'm just gonna tell you, you're putting a title on
and an actual quote on something that
somewhat accurately expresses my point of view.
I understand why you say, but I never said that
because I never was a Democrat to begin with
I always like caucus with the Democrats and I generally
Vote for them. I think always vote for them, but I always look at it and like no
I'm gonna actually make up my mind. They just always are less scary and insane than the Republicans
But I wait for the day when it evens out
We're approaching that because they have gotten crazier,
and that's a lot of what you're referencing.
But I never said I left the party
because I wasn't there to begin with.
Well, you said something similar.
Very similar.
I'm telling you, you have the general feeling right.
But not that exact quote and not that exact feeling
because it's more than party.
It's more like left and right.
Yeah.
The language changes.
And I'm sorry, but woke got to be an eye roll. It wasn't originally, but it got to be an
eye roll for every crazy, way too far left, non-common sensical bullshit.
My favorite term was woke supremacist. I love that.
You made that up?
No, I saw that. I thought this is brilliant. Somebody is a woke supremacist. I love that. You made that up? No, I saw that.
I thought, this is brilliant.
Somebody is a woke supremacist, pretending to be all,
what's the word, tolerant, and they're the most
intolerant sometimes.
They really are.
And you say, I want to cancel people at the drop of a hat.
I'm like, that's somebody's living.
Like, relax.
The point I was trying to make was
why I've always identified
with a Democratic party, and I still identify
as a liberal at heart.
You know, at heart, I'm a liberal.
I voted for her.
You know what my definition of liberal is?
Is someone who wants to change the status quo
for the better.
You liberate yourself from-
You know what I always say to the super-
And conservative is someone who wants to conserve
what works, what's good, and I think we have to do both.
You know what I always say to the super woke?
Tell me. We voted for the same both. You know what I always say in the SuperWoke? Tell me.
We voted for the same person.
You're just why she lost.
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What?
Knife?
You're saying I put the knife in, right?
No, but it's truth.
I love to put the knife in.
No, but you do.
I don't apologize for it.
I've always, you know, I was just a huge fan and then I said something on your show many years ago,
and then I never got invited again,
and I realized maybe I crossed a little line.
No, that's not why.
No, because remember I...
No, no, no, it's because the show changed.
We don't have celebrities.
When I first did the show, we were...
Is that all I am to you?
No.
That's like an insult.
You're right, you know, you're right,
because you probably, and I will say to you, and I'm sorry, we should have had you more.
Because you are one of the few celebrities who can very, very credibly talk like a non-celebrity.
And I mean that, I'm sorry to celebrities, they're lovely people, but thinking ain't
their big thing usually.
And you are a true thinker.
We have a line.
So you're right.
But the reason is because we overcompetited
when we came off Politically Incorrect,
which was all show business.
I love the concept.
I know, but it was silly.
It was a silly show.
Well, that's what I became.
It unsensed.
I was politically correct.
I moved to HBO.
Now I'm doing a different show.
And I'm trying to stake out a different territory.
And at first, we still kind of were,
first of all, we had three panelists,
then we moved to two.
And with three, one of them would be like,
oh, we need face name value.
And then it was like, the audience at some point
got it through to my thick skull.
No, we just want a good conversation.
And like celebrities are usually fucking idiots.
So we overcompensated and got rid of even some of the ones
who are good, but that was just like an overcompensation.
So that's really what happened.
I think that's very kind of you to say.
No, no, but we will do it in the future.
You know, it's hard to do.
Cause you're right.
It's hard to say something you really believe in
that not everybody knows
and not sound like a douchebag who's trying to be smart.
You know, like, I did hear another.
No, you're a douchebag who is smart.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, you're so kind.
I love you.
You.
It's so good to see you.
And you're a good baller, dude.
You still playing basketball like you do?
Broke my finger doing it.
No.
Rebound, rebounding.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
Mallet?
You got that mallet finger?
Mallet finger, yeah.
That's hard.
That's what I mean.
You know your medicine.
Listen.
Yeah.
I have a little secret I won't tell everybody.
But you see this right here?
It ripped trying to play basketball,
going for the ball.
Somebody's thigh went.
Right.
And it never fixed.
So my guitar playing never kind of got to the level
it could have gotten to.
But now I'm obsessed with tennis.
You play the guitar too, wow.
I'm obsessed with tennis.
Tennis.
Still a heartthrob.
I'm pretty sure you're still wetting panties out there.
Oh my God, oh my God, you know that's sexist.
I remember once.
Some people say, why just panties?
I remember once I was out, this must be the 90s,
and I saw you and I was with a girl who was Puerto Rican.
You remember this?
And I introduced, we just saw each other,
we were often at the same parties and bullshit
because we were bullshit out in the town type.
We were having fun.
We were having fun at the time when you do that.
And you like, and I thought, oh shit.
Super hot, and he's gonna try to steal my girl.
And he did not.
It's like you were very respectful.
You like, you were like, you like made the connection
that oh, I'm Puerto Rican and it's great
that we're both Puerto Rican, but you weren't like,
hey, you're Puerto Rican too, why don't you fuck me instead?
All of that guy, right.
No, you know what it is, I'm an empath.
I feel for people.
No, but I've had guys try to do that.
None of them succeeded, but I've had them try
and they were never friends again.
And I just remember that.
I'm not a saint.
I unfortunately have, you know,
the only real problems I've had in my life, unfortunately, have been due
to my inability to be saintly when it comes to passion.
And sometimes you pick the wrong people to trust or to open up with or to take a chance
with.
And then you do hear stories about yourself,
like, oh, that's not what happened.
But OK, I let it get to a point where that could be said.
And that's what I realized as I get older.
Like, maybe don't do that.
Maybe don't trust so much.
I love humanity.
My whole thing is I love people a little too much sometimes. And you know. Well, people. Almost. I'm humanity. My whole thing is I love people a little too much sometimes.
And you know.
Wall people.
Almost, I'm sorry.
Listen, I play bad people.
You know what it takes to play bad people credibly?
You have to put yourself in other shoes.
You have to understand the asshole, the villain,
the evil, the murderer, the cartel guy.
I look at people and go, how could you do this
to another human being?
No, you are very convincing.
And I have to figure out a way to go, okay,
if A is to B is B is to C, then A is C,
and all bets are off.
Well, I think there are some people who really don't have,
as I would say, a bad bone in their body,
but most people do.
And the people who I can't even access that one bad bone,
they're not actors.
Because actors, they've got some bad bones.
I mean, I'm not saying they're bad people,
but like in general, their living is deception.
Yes and no, because I tell people.
I know a lot of really good con artists and liars
who think, well, I can fool, I can lie to you and take your money.
And they think they can be actors.
And I'm like, dude, you don't get it.
Just because you can be a piece of shit as a human being doesn't mean you can respond
truthfully under imaginary circumstance.
I mean, that's what people respond to.
They have to, they have to vibe some sort of truth.
Here's my thing about acting.
I believe like, like 80% of acting is like anybody could do it.
Like children do it.
Fucking wrestlers do it.
You'd be surprised.
I coach some friends.
Wait, wait, wait.
I did it.
I mean, I'm telling you, children.
You did good right there earlier when you were doing
Pacino Michael.
It's not like that.
That's like soap operas and fucking detective work on CBS.
He's a little kid.
OK, anyone can do that.
But on the top 20%, which is where I put you, yes,
that you need a professional for.
The real important roles like the bad guy, whatever,
those kind of roles, they,
I'll say this about show business,
it's full of bullshit,
but the people who cast know what they're doing.
They generally pick the right people
to be the cream of the crop, movie stars and stuff.
I really, I really-
I'm glad the casting directors are getting now
their like attention from the academy, by the way.
You go through the ages, and I don't old movies, and I think, you know what?
There wasn't somebody better than Jimmy Stewart and Henry Fonda.
And I look at now, and I'm like, Timothy Chalamet?
I don't know him from Adam, but yeah, I get it why he's very good at his job.
There are many great actors out there. People ask me, who's your favorite?
There's too many to choose from right now.
And they're really good.
I just don't know that the material in the studios
are backing things that are about human beings anymore.
This is a subject I'm sure you have opinions about that I do
because it's in my name, E.S. AI.
I don't think AI can reproduce.
That was deep.
Well, think about it.
I don't think AI can reproduce Midnight Cowboy.
I'm all over AI.
You know, there's some...
We have to be careful.
I'm very obsessed that the robots are taking over.
I really am.
And we're like...
We have to make a choice.
We're not even fighting.
We're not fighting smartly.
I'm a little disappointed.
We're not fighting at all.
We're helping.
We're helping.
And it's already too late, but you know, it's okay.
I gave an award at the Time Magazine AI Walk 100, you know, Time Magazine's 100 AI edition
in Dubai.
What's the AI edition?
Well, it was about AI.
100 most influential AI creatures?
Yeah.
Really? Yeah.
Time Magazine had a thing in Dubai, an incredible event.
I was honored.
About the people who make AI?
Yeah, the people who are in this.
It's the new, it's the final frontier to some cases.
The frontier is here.
And I came up with a line that I had, they put them in there.
Because as the guy who is AI powered in Mission Impossible,
right?
If people haven't seen it
I mean the bad guy
It used to be that the bad guy in a movie like that was an entity
That some bad guy controlled which in a way is you are that bad guy
But it's almost like the villain is the entity itself the villain according to most reviewers that didn't even mention me
Really?
Yeah, I was a little like, OK.
Well, Tom Cruise can't fight the entity in a helicopter.
The entity is the enemy.
He has to fight you.
Well, you know, but some people were very kind.
And I don't normally base a lot of feelings
on one other opinion.
But I was like, wow, OK.
OK, maybe someone's not wanting to acknowledge
whatever. But I'm extra sensitive, extra sentient.
You and I are very much-
Authentic intelligence.
... very similar in this way, I think, is that we both think not wrongly that the press
just doesn't quite get us and is not especially supportive.
And whatever we have achieved,
which has been great for both of us,
is in spite of them, not because they helped.
And some people, they help a lot, and that's okay.
You can't have everything in life.
I am not bitter about it.
Like you can't check every single box.
And I'd rather have the boxes I check
and understand that that's one of the sacrifices.
If you're going to actually speak true things and speak your mind, you don't know.
There are going to be a lot of influential people who want to hate you, ignore you, or whatever.
And that's okay. It's a dog-eat-dog.
Minimize your impact.
Yeah, it's a dog-eat-dog.
I have a saying I say in tennis that I'm obsessed with that don't get bitter, get better.
And it's a simple one-letter thing.
It's just like-
You should open a t-shirt store.
Full of these Maxs.
But it's true.
I also have my R&D theory when I talk to people who want advice.
R&D research and development? That's one way to look at it. Isn't that what R&D theory, when I talk to people who want advice, I go- R&D research and development?
That's one way to look at it or-
Isn't that what R&D is?
Yes, but it's also the difference between, I think, success and failure.
You either let the things in your life that chip away at you, that hurt you, that attack
you, that...
Your failures either refine you or define you.
It's one little difference.
Not a good one.
No, but I'm serious.
If you sit there and accept that you're a loser
and that you're terrible, you're literally,
they say that there's neuro-linguistic,
you're wiring your brain to accept that.
Either refine you or define you.
Take your choice, man.
Or refinance you
And at a good interest rate I'm all in
Anyway, you're right. We were this is so club-random
There's no gender and there's no agenda here nobody love it and no gender
No, I'm fucking free. We are I'm a person who's just a human. I listen what you just see me as a male. I always
Just how do you define anyway?
if I ever had
Memoirs if I was ever organized enough to write memoirs, I would call it but I digress
That's a great title, isn't it? That's a great title. Because I do, I do. It's hard for me to stay on one subject.
I mean, this show is apropos of nothing.
I never.
Is this the Seinfeld of podcasts?
Is that what you're saying?
What's the show about?
Well, first of all, that was also never true.
Not about anything.
It's about them.
It was about, well, it also was about the most amazingly hard to believe
coincidences and confluence of events.
That's what made it funny.
Like, you know, the jacket that you saw on the first scene
somehow came back in the last scene
to put some comedy ironic spin on a situation. It was supposed to be a show about nothing, right?
They said that, but, you know, they get everything wrong.
Yeah.
It could not have been less about nothing.
Then what was it about?
It was about being funny.
That was always Larry and...
Isn't all the shows, aren't they,
a comedy's all supposed to be about?
No, I remember doing sitcoms,
and I thought it was a good lesson,
but I did my first one in 1984.
It was called Sarah.
I played the office creep, Marty,
and Gina Davis was Sarah.
She was a lawyer.
We were all lawyers in San Francisco.
What a sweet, what an incredible person.
I mean, Gina Davis.
Oh, I loved her.
We got along so great.
She just seems like such a magnanimous human.
Like, you know, again, going back to AI,
they'll never replace the soul, or at least,
you know, there's something about a soul
that is undefineable.
That that's the only thing that we have.
To get back to that story about AI.
So I see her, I see great artists.
They pour their soul out into their work. Actors who don't do that don't tend to really the only thing that we have to get back to that story about AI. So I see her, I see great artists,
they pour their soul out into their work.
Actors who don't do that don't tend to resonate
with audiences in my opinion.
No, of course not.
I know pop stars, I don't want to mention one,
but very, very mega pop star that did all these movies
and I could never buy her ever
and desperate to be taken seriously.
And it was just like, I don't know anything about who you,
I don't know, I don't feel your pain.
I don't feel anything and I feel like you're faking it,
you know, and it's just like, you know.
We gotta say, Esai, all those years we hung out,
I didn't realize it.
You're a lot deeper than I am.
I mean, I'm not even saying that facetiously,
or regrettably.
I'm sorry.
I'm happy with it.
My daughter says.
No, it's just true.
No, my daughter goes.
It's okay.
My daughter's like, bruh, it's not that deep,
and I'm like, oh God.
Is that the kind of conversations you have with your kid?
No, I love my kid, but it's hard to get a 14-year-old to talk about anything like...
Is she super woke?
I mean, they mostly are?
No, no, no.
No?
Really?
She is an independent thinker.
What does she think?
She's really cool.
Really?
She's just quiet about her deepest feelings.
And maybe she just, maybe she has a blessed life.
What do you do for father-daughter time?
What's a thing that...
We like to go play video games at the place...
Arcades?
The arcade.
Really?
I love that.
You go to an arcade and play video and you like it too?
I love it.
It brings me back to childhood.
There was a time when she was terrified of zombies.
So we couldn't go past the zombie thing.
And I was like, come on, honey, come
on, you can do this. It's not real. And you know, at one point, I just had to stop or
else borders on abuse. You're traumatizing a child. Don't make her do that. But you know,
sometimes you got to like say, hey, hey, do this. And once you get past it, you'll realize
your fears are unfounded. But I gave up on it, and she's okay now.
Age 14, have they outgrown video games at that moment?
No, so still video games at 14.
And I'm just asking.
Dude, video games today aren't the same.
There's like Switch.
I've never played a video game.
I didn't know what they were when they were this big.
I was obsessed with asteroids and like the 80s ones.
I never played Pac-Man. Oh my God. I loved it. I mean, when I was like the 80s ones. I never played Pac-Man.
Oh my God, I loved it.
I mean, that's when I was in college,
that's what they had, Pac-Man.
But I gave it up.
And I was not interested in that.
For me, video games is, it's kind of an analogy to life.
Where you try to get good at something
and you just try to improve.
But it's a drug, you know why?
Because you get dopamine every time you get to a certain level.
Well, gamers, I mean, that's such a big subculture.
Gamers, huge.
There are some very successful people.
It's so ironic.
They're gamers, but they have no game.
And this is why they're gamers.
See, it's like circular.
They have game with other gamers.
Yeah, but they're not getting laid.
Or maybe like the big ones are. I know
they have like tournaments where people watch people playing games. It's crazy. That's,
I mean, and then they expect... When I was young, I never knew that you could have TV
shows about people talking about the sport. Like ESPN, all these shows that talk about...
And then there was a show that talked about the shows that talked about it. It's not a
sport. It can't be a sport if you're... It's a mental sport, I think. If you're sitting down.
I mean, I will barely allow golf. You think chess isn't? That's a sport. No. Chess is not a sport.
It's different. It is. It's a different category. I've had sweat playing chess. It's mental.
Sometimes you burn more calories with your mind. But you're a chess player.
I was. I wouldn't compare myself to people that are really good now, but man.
But you played chess. I don't even know how to play chess.
Really?
Yeah. What?
No, it's just one of those things. You seem so like, you see, look, for a comedian, you
are a more intellectual. It's okay.
Believe me, there's a ton of movies I haven't seen.
People are like, really, you haven't seen that?
Yeah.
No, I mean.
We can't do everything, right?
You can't do everything, and why would I do that one?
I mean.
Chess is amazing because it makes you think steps ahead.
It's strategy.
But I do crossword puzzles.
There you go, I'm obsessed with them.
Oh, you are?
I love them.
You know when I knew I made it, right?
When you were in the Crossword Puzzle.
You were always in there because they needed the letters.
Three vowels and a consonant.
E-S-A-I.
And not only that.
I always said I could let them know about that.
He's in it.
I said, Jay, it's not because they love you.
Four letter names.
They need the letters.
Not only that, but I thought I made it,
then I brought myself down.
Because you're in the New York Times' Crossword Press.
I go, yeah?
I go, aren't they supposed to be hard?
You know, like you've really made it
when you're in the TV Guide one,
like everybody knows your name, you know?
But New York Times, you know,
it's supposed to be more obscure.
M-A-H-E-R, they also use fairly frequently.
Every time they do it, I've cut it out.
I have a folder with like 20 of them.
But I love exercises for the mind,
and that forces you to think.
And things like that are probably why you're
as a bright person.
Look, none of us here is a bona fide genius,
but compared to other folks out there,
we give them a run for their money.
We're not the stupidest of the bunch, you know?
You're not.
I mean, show business in general,
I'm sorry I can't in good conscience sit here and tell you
But where do you draw the line?
That show people are generally, you know, I'm sorry.
Their forte is something different.
It's charisma, it's good looks.
Riz?
Riz.
What my daughter calls Riz now?
It's talent.
Talent is different than intelligence.
How do you define talent?
Talent is raw.
And it's, you know, Elvis has it,
and Tom Cruise has it, and it's like.
Meat is raw.
How do you define talent besides raw?
I know it when I see it.
It's like pornography. I know it when I see it. Oh my gosh. No, it's like... Meat is raw. How do you define talent besides raw? Oh, I know it when I see it. It's like pornography.
I know it when I see it.
Oh my gosh.
No, it's talent.
It's, you know, you can sing, you can act,
you can dance, you can, I don't know.
It's skill.
I mean, we both have, yes, we both have it too.
But like, there are certain levels of it
that are just preternatural, like Elvis Presley,
you know, but lots of people like that.
But there are people who say he copied his style off
of that guy, owed us something.
Oh, copied.
Everybody copies everybody.
Have you seen that incredible artist before?
It sounded just like him.
Like, if you were to bite the style.
Everybody in show business steals from who they like are.
I know.
The Beatles were some of the greatest,
but they were the Beatles. They were the greatest thieves in history. Okay, it's- The Beatles were some of the greatest, but they were the Beatles. Of course.
They were the greatest thieves in history.
Yeah, everybody's a thief.
We can't feel bad about that.
Very few things are original.
No, and I would like to say right now
that we are standing on land
that rightfully belongs to the proud Chumash people.
I feel terrible about it.
But who did they conquer it from, too?
And I will be giving it back on Monday. No, exactly, who did they conquer it from, too? And I will be giving it back on Monday.
No, exactly.
Who did they conquer it from?
Exactly.
It's hard, right?
I'm never sure about it.
I know that 80% of what I think is probably true, 20% of what I pretty much think I'm
sure about will change.
So walk carefully.
That's why I think we should all as human beings learn to debate with each other in
a civilized way.
And with perspective, one of the stupidest things about wokeness is the absolute abject
ignorance about history and putting things into perspective.
And so they only see the bad side of America, which is not to be denied and not to be not
taught, of course.
But they only see that and they don't realize that because they don't care about history,
they don't think it even happened if they weren't alive for it. But if you go back,
everybody in history was terrible, horrible, racist, genocidal, like everything.
Native Americans had slaves.
Of course.
Black people had slaves.
Black people gathered the slaves.
For others to.
To sell them to the slaves, right?
Yeah, enemies.
I mean, white people were slaves.
I say it many times, humans are not good people.
Humans are not good people.
Humans are good people, but they have been awful too.
We can't just call humans awful all the time or else we wouldn't have society.
No, not all the time.
Not all the time.
How do we get here?
Humans are not awful all the time, but if I had to bet, like on a random situation,
it's like, will this human, if it comes down to like eat or be eaten, eat?
Yes, they would.
Humans are, you know. Creatures survive. They survive they would. Humans are, you know...
Creatures survive.
They survive, exactly.
Can I tell you this much?
And you can't blame them for it.
Before I went to the middle, I'm a radical middle.
I used to get crap from conservatives because I would post things like the massacres of the Taino Indians, of the Black Wall Street,
horrible things that happened to people of color.
The Tulsa massacre?
The Tulsa, yeah, dude.
Rosewood, all kinds of things, horrible things.
Our history is horrible.
And they would say, why are you race baiting?
And I'm like, I'm not race baiting.
This was not good. You know, and I'm just
saying, I just don't want us to forget so that we don't repeat. I'm not trying to make
white people feel bad. I'm trying to say, hey, this happened. Why did this happen? And
can we make sure we never let it happen again? And then when I say anything that's not the left now,
they're like, what is wrong with you?
Are you one of those, what are you, a right winger?
It's so infuriating.
I used to not like certain people on Fox News
and then I grew to understand them.
So I still kinda, it's hard to take some, just hard,
just because of the tone.
I don't watch any cable news.
But here's the-
Jake Tapper, I like Jake.
But you know, I grew to respect Tucker Carlson a lot more.
You know?
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
And he was one of those people that I couldn't take,
especially when he debated Jon Stewart
and he got like creamed, remember that?
I can't take him now.
There were some things that he says that I get it.
Here's my point.
I get my conservative friends and
I get my liberal friends. And I don't like it when my conservatives paint all liberals
as libtards and my liberal friends paint all conservatives as fascists. It's just not the
case.
That's not the case. But Tucker Carlson is a douchebag and I can prove it because they have his texts during the 2020 election thing when he was saying privately,
you know, this is the one they were sued about.
Fox News paid something like $787 million
to the Dominion voting people, I think.
I've heard things about that
that will make you think twice about that.
So, yes, I know where you're going with that,
but, you know, what I going with that, but you know.
What I don't like is when the news tells me something
before it's figured out, when everybody says that.
I don't think that's a disputable thing.
Fox News definitely did pay over $700 million
to settle a lawsuit because they were saying
that the election wasn't kosher.
And the text that we have from Tucker
Carlson tell us he knows it too, but he was saying it on the air.
I'll give a lot of people a lot of rope, but that is a level I can't go to of being caught
—
Why don't you have him on this show and ask him about that?
I would.
I would.
I would love to see that.
He would never do it, because he knows he would be asked about that. Maybe. Maybe not.
He also went to Russia and pretended that Moscow is some place where you or I would like to live.
I went there in 1988. I went there in 1988.
Oh, bueno.
And as a person of color, Latino, who has lived under the shadow of our community constantly,
you know, with
babies crying and gunshots and guitars playing all the time in the background.
Stop it!
Like, I'm like sick of this, right?
I am sensitive to cultures being like, oh, and so you'd be surprised that Russia may
not be the gulag anymore that it was once considered.
That's all. That's all I have to say.
Well, I couldn't disagree more.
You know, I find your view of Russians that's very charitable.
And I'm sorry if I'm more of a cynic on that.
I just don't think you should paint anyone with a broad brush.
I think you really ought to...
You owe it to yourself to be a little more...
I mean, as your friend, buddy, I'm not just a guest. I like you. I to, you owe it to yourself to be a little more, I mean, as your friend, buddy.
I'm not just a guest, I like you.
I've always liked you.
We all, whether we want to admit it or not,
we make generalizations about people
about basically where they are culturally from.
And like we can't admit it publicly,
but you know you have them too.
Listen, when I was a young actor,
I actually was gonna give myself an Arabic name
because in the late 70s, early, listen.
Anthony Quinn was Mexican.
He played Arab.
He was Mexican and Irish.
And he played Greek so well.
Greek.
That the Greek people, I use him as an example.
Yes, you're right.
Anywhere he went, Greek people started breaking plates.
Any restaurant.
He was Mexican.
Dude, I am so proud of that man and my relationship
with a Mexican American. I'm a very proud Puerto Rican, but one of my biggest prides
is that the Mexican American community acknowledges me as their owner. At least I'm an honorary
Chicano. Absolutely. Honorary Chicano. That's because I don't take their culture for granted.
If you walked into a Mexican neighborhood or restaurant, it must be like the Beatles in 64. Dude, I saw a grown gangster almost cry
with the socks and the shorts and the Raiders t-shirt.
He says, you're not Mexican?
And it was like, it was cognitive dissonance, bro.
And I was like, I'm sorry.
But why is there beef between Puerto Ricans and Mexicans?
Oh, there isn't.
There's beef between any culture that is next to it.
There's the Mexicans that have 60% of all Latino,
and then the Puerto Ricans that have a lot of success
for a tiny little island.
We're like the Israel of the Caribbean.
We have a special relationship with the United States,
just not as special as Israel, but it's special.
Do you think it should be the 51st state?
That's a really tough one
because I have friends on all three sides
and I see all three sides.
What are the three?
Three sides is be a state and get,
contribute federal taxes and get federal funds,
be independent, we're big boys now,
which we were supposed to be.
And make our own deals, grow up in our own, right?
Or stay like we are, a Commonwealth,
which is kind of like a welfare state in a sense,
because we live off the largesse,
but we don't pay federal income tax.
We, you know, I live there now too.
It's a very, you know, I'm spending as much time as I can.
I'm trying to open a school for underprivileged.
Really?
Yeah, we were having talks.
You know, people like myself who didn't have money to go to...
Wow.
I went to performing arts high school.
That's big.
Yeah, yeah, well, I wasn't supposed to announce it yet,
but the point is I'm trying to do something to help other people
who may have passion for the arts, you know,
give their talent, because it's not easy.
I'm telling you, you're deeper than me.
But I feel like I'm being them to a world
that AI is going to make us all obsolete.
You know? Great.
It's like my daughter, she wants to be a writer.
I was like, oh, my God, in the time of AI,
where, like, you know, they can copy everything,
but now she wants to be a psychiatrist.
But can they? That's safe. Psychiatrists, we're she wants to be a psychiatrist. I go, that's safe.
Psychiatrists, we're always going to have to screw up people.
AI, like right now, June of 2025, AI can't do what I do.
Not yet.
That's what they say.
That's my question.
It's like, could it even?
Because you certainly can type in, you know, do this as Bill Maher would do it, and it
will write a scene, you know, or something as Bill Maher would do it. I know we'll write a scene, you know, or something.
Bill Maher-ish.
Yeah.
I mean, somebody I know is desperate for me
to like voice a big cartoon movie like The Bad Guy.
Or digitize yourself.
I've been told to digitize myself just
to copyright your own image before other people steal it.
When you're gone, when you're dead,
you need to leave that to, oh, you don't have.
No.
Nevermind.
It's this thing I don't.
I don't know, kids, I don't believe I'll be,
anything will be here after I die.
To your kids, your pets will have your estate.
You still have all those dogs.
But we put it into chat GPT, like,
what would Bill Maher as a cartoon villain,
and I made some suggestions,
and it came out with this character, Smug.
Oh, I was thinking Smarmy Assassin.
And I'm not really Smug, but I get why they,
and it had the cartoon version of me,
and it was a little scary how close it got to something
that was actually kind of funny.
It had my catchphrase.
It was just, you know, this thing is a genie led out of the bottle.
But to what point will robots replace you?
Because how does that benefit them?
I was asking this on the panel tonight, like there was a guy on, he was talking about a
future that may be
jobless. And I was talking to a very good friend of mine who said, you know, why are
you so afraid of the robots and AI eliminating all the jobs? Because AI is quickly eliminating
all the jobs. I mean-
But not all, but yes.
Well, very close. I mean, first the blue collarcollar jobs went, now coding, now they do all that,
driverless cars, it's going to be all truck drivers. And I said, okay, you know, I get
it. Why would you want a drudgery kind of job? Great if we liberate ourselves from that.
But what do people do? And how do they get money? How do they buy food if there are no
jobs, if AI is doing all the jobs?
Maybe that's why they say that we're being called as a population.
Called? Meaning? Meaning they're trying to lower the population slowly but surely.
Who is?
The people who want to stay left running the robots because they don't want the rest of us,
believe me. They don't. I mean, come on, for decades now, there's been
like a silent war. I see young kids now.
War against who?
Just the human condition.
That's so vague. What does that mean?
Yeah, Malthusian, right? Malthus?
Of course.
The guy who's...
1798.
That's right. He said there were too many people in the world. Do you know that that
comes...
Well, he said that, he said population expands exponentially. So he did the chart going up and he was right.
Like, you know, for the first, I don't know, 10,000 years of humans after the agricultural
revolution, we were still at like, you know, I don't know, 100 million or something.
And then quickly got to 8 billion.
And then in the last century, it went brr, all the way up to eight.
And of course, the more people make, the more rabbits fucking, make more bunnies.
And so now we're at eight million.
I don't under...
John Lennon said something.
To you?
In my dreams.
In a video, he said, the world is run by insane people for insane...
Another one of your oppressions for your act.
No, he's a scouse, mate. He's a scouse like that's pretty good but I'm saying he said something
that I tend to agree with if you just didn't like most people you would tend
to want to promote the notion that there were too many people in order to make
people not care about the the wanton deaths well there's too many people you
really and I'll tell you why because they were saying that same thing in Plato's age
There were too many people on the planet way back then really. Yeah. Yeah, I found that out
I was like, whoa, it was only like ten people. No, that's me, but their world was
Circumspec right? Yeah. Well, you know what Athens was a direct democracy
So they were they hadn't figured out well, we could have representatives Right? Well, you know what? Athens was a direct democracy.
So they hadn't figured out, well, we could have representatives.
So yes, in a world where your democracy is direct, where everybody votes and they put
a pebble, a white or a black pebble in a pot, and that's how you count the votes, I could
see them saying, yeah, we've got too many people counting the votes.
When I'm on the 405, I think there's too many people.
Well, there definitely are.
Do you know what I mean? When you're in traffic, it seems like too many people. I believe there are too many people. When I'm on the 405, I think there's too many people. Well, there definitely are. Do you know what I mean?
When you're in traffic, it seems like too many people.
I believe there are too many people.
But if everybody in the world had a certain amount of space
between them, we could all fit in a certain part of Texas.
Yeah, but it's not about how many people.
It's about resources.
No.
Again, I'm going to tell you, this is something
that I think we've been led to, we've been
miseducated on because the whole scarcity notion is maybe another one of those things
that we'll find out later.
Maybe you will, that is being pushed.
But we're already running out of water in places.
We were supposed to be running out of oil a long time ago.
Water, water, even more basic than oil.
Where's water going?
What do you mean?
Where does it go?
Water?
Well, it goes, a lot of it in California to irrigate crops, which we shouldn't.
And then where does it go?
It's like carbon.
Well, and then, well, there's a finite amount because it falls from the sky.
And where does it go?
It goes to the ocean where it evaporates again.
We're in this closed loop.
It's not like we're losing water.
It's never coming back.
But enough of it.
But more people.
Are you saying there's an infinite amount of people that water on Earth could supplant?
Not infinite amount, but it's a lot less.
Like Elon Musk, like him or hate him, has been talking about population collapse.
Yes, I don't get that.
I do.
Look at Japan, look at Korea.
I'm on the other side of that.
There are places now.
Too many people.
That people are dying more than they're recreating
and now kids are scared.
Young men and women are not getting together
like they used to be.
You know what?
That's true.
Can we do a shot?
I will bless the shot.
A shot.
I will bless the shot.
My shot days are over,
but I'll pour another one. Pour me half a shot. A shot? I will bless the shot. Well, my shot days are over, but I'll pour another one.
Pour me half a shot.
Okay.
Half a shot, because I'm going to show off now.
What do you do?
Show off?
Because I'm not a Jew.
What is that?
I'm Jew-ish.
You're not Jewish.
I respect.
You can't.
Says who?
You're not Jewish.
Baruch atah Adonai Luchheinu Melech ha'alem ha'meshei kurei.
Well, you probably learned that part.
A gopher.
See, you could play a Jew.
I could play a Jew. I could play a Jew. I could play a Jew. I could play a Jew. I could play a Jew. Are you not Jewish? Baruch atah Adonai Lucheynu, Melech halem ha'mesheh v'reyh
Well you probably learned that from a part.
Prih agofen.
See you could play a Jew.
I did in 1989.
I played a Polish Jewish Argentine pimp.
Wow.
Ziko Borenstein in a movie that never made it to the United States.
Hey, you know the actor Isaac?
Oscar Isaac. Brilliant, brilliant guy.
Oscar Isaac.
I should have named myself Isai Isaac or something.
You know what, I always thought he was Jewish
because the name sounds so Jewish to me.
He's part, I think, Guatemalan or something.
No, I saw him on Saturday Night Live.
He hosted, I'm a big fan.
He's great.
He's a great actor.
I love him, I love him.
Working your side of the street, guy nice-looking guy tan and
He's like and I was surprised to learn in his monologue
He said my real name is you know, and then he had to ask Isaac like Hernandez or something
Yes, like he had two names to like to Hispanic names
He's a real lefty and then he said, you know, of course they made me.
I'm like, nobody made you.
Let me tell you something.
Shut the fuck up.
Nobody made you.
Listen, it helps.
Oh, stop it.
Listen, my middle name is Manuel.
If I came out as Manny Morales, do you think that you'd be?
Maybe back in that name.
How many Manny actors do you know?
Maybe back in the day.
You sound like a Jewish garment worker, Manny Epstein.
It's just not like, I mean, Jewish actors
changed their name because it didn't sound like. No, he was Hispanic. Anyway, he was...
John Wayne was marrying whatever, you know?
I thought he was Jewish. And when he said on this monologue that he was Hispanic,
the audience burst into applause, you know, as if to say, thank God, thank God you're not white.
He's been saved. Anything's better than that. He said, we found out he's white. He's been saved.
Anything's better than that.
We found out he's Hispanic.
That's awesome.
I'm really proud of a lot of actors now that are Latino
that are being accepted and embraced.
Pedro Pascal is like on fire.
Exactly.
Everything he does is amazing.
Benicio del Toro has a movie coming out right now.
It's not an impediment in show business.
It really isn't.
Yes and no.
Now I'm going to like-
It was when you started.
Let me give you a little something.
It was when you started a little bit.
Raul Julia, man, one of my biggest heroes.
John Leguizamo.
Leguizamo.
Let me just say that,
oh, there was something, but the tequila just knocked, derailed my
train of thought.
I did that all the time.
We have a, we're putting together a highlight reel of me just saying, what were we talking
about?
I now remember, thank you for saying that.
Oh, geez.
But that's the...
It's not like they're writing great stuff.
It's few and far in between the characters.
Who's the thing?
Whatever, the industry choosers of material.
Yep.
For some reason, I'm still a bad guy more than not.
And I think I could play a good guy,
but I think I'm considered boring if I'm a good guy.
I don't know.
You could play anything.
I mean, I saw you in-
Thank you.
I saw you in the Anne Rand movie,
which if people don't know Anne Rand kids,
you should really Google this one, Anne A-Y-Anne Rand.
And she was this woman in the 50s,
wrote a couple of very long novels.
And I guess some books of philosophy.
Anyway, she's very influential. You should
Google her because she kind of, depending on your view of it, promulgated this view
that society was being held back by the losers and that just the winner type people, and
you know, there are winners and losers, should just be a little more ruthless in how they take control.
And so that's what the fountainhead
and Atlas shrugged are really about.
And a lot of people-
Is that what you thought it was about?
I kind of thought it was her response to communism,
the excesses of communism.
Well, communism is, and that's why it has resonance
and did because communism is even worse
in the other direction, evening things out. And she's saying life has resonance and did, because communism is even worse in the other direction,
evening things out.
And she's saying life is for the society, it's for the exceptional, and we shouldn't
apologize for it.
And communism is the exact opposite.
Everybody is equal.
But Jordan Peterson says the equality of outcome as opposed to...
Yes, yes.
No.
Communism is the worst.
When I was younger, I always felt sympathy for communists and socialists because I thought,
okay, if I had to pick an ism, right, socialism and capitalism, where am I going to pick?
Capitalism is about capital, socialism is about people, I thought. Social, right? I
thought, okay, capital can't love you. People can. And I figure, okay, I'm on the side of socialism.
And then as I get older, you know, and opinions change and things, you know, life happens,
I realize that if you try to be fair, too much you can become unfair.
And if you take away people's incentive to strive, then nobody wants to do good.
Because if you're gonna work harder than me
and I'm gonna get paid the same as you,
then you're not gonna work as hard
because after a while you're gonna feel like an idiot.
That's what I'm saying.
And then I thought to myself, I said,
okay, capitalism, communism, it's still cronyism.
No matter where you go, whether it's Cuba or Russia, China,
if you're part of the CCP or if you're part of the ruling party,
you got it good.
But it's worse.
I agree, but I'm saying...
It is always cronyism, but there are levels to it.
And one reason why America was America and the greatest
is because we kept cronyism to shoe level,
whereas it was just all what communism was.
Can I tell you something?
I used to be terrified of the communists, the Chinese.
I didn't want the social credit score.
I still don't.
I'm still terrified of the Chinese.
And there are people in our society, oligarchs, that want us to follow that because they want
to be on top of the world.
And they like the Chinese model because they keep their people kind of in control.
But at the same time, listen, listen, listen, listen, there's more people. they keep their people kind of in control But at the same time listen listen listen listen
There's more they keep their people very much in control yet. No substitution yet. Hang on. Guess what? I'm finding out
Okay, that that blew my mind
When they buy a house, they don't have to pay property taxes till they lose it. It's theirs
When they they have less people in prison per capita than we do. We have more
people in prison than China has. It's like we are in prison too with our own. Let's not
get it twisted. Let's always keep some sort of mental thing to realize that we're in our
own prisons with materialism, with drugs, with pleasure, you know?
Like, come on.
We don't take care of our own.
We don't.
We have veterans on the street,
and then we have people that break our laws
that they're getting taken care of.
Like, that makes conservatives angry.
I'm not saying I want to live in China,
but I can't tell you how many friends
that love
living in Shanghai.
For some reason, it is more modern, it is more popular.
I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no.
If you're...
Okay.
I'm just saying.
Unless you want to speak freely, then you will run afoul of the state.
Unless you want to speak freely.
And that's why I agree with you 100%.
If you're one of those people who are like, you know what, I don't even follow politics,
I just want business to be good.
You're good.
You wouldn't like it.
That's not who you are.
I agree with you.
You wouldn't want to live in China.
But I also don't want to live in a world that kids itself as to how free it is.
My biggest complaint with America-
And I don't want to live in a world that kids itself, that there aren't actual serious,
important differences.
There's a reason why we like it here.
And it's because it's-
But how many of us have traveled the world
at the same time, I have to say?
I don't want our greatest export
to be the illusion of freedom.
We are-
Because you're free,
unless you threaten the pharmaceutical interests,
unless you threaten the bankers,
unless you threaten the military industrial complex.
Look what they did to Kennedy.
Tell me a conspiracy theory you don't believe.
Oh my God.
You know which ones?
The whole concept of conspiracy theory to me is brilliant because it's the way a certain
agency and others have of hiding the truth in garbage.
So they come up with a lot of garbage so that the truth looks indistinguishable.
There is that, but there also is sometimes
just real garbage, right?
They create a lot of it.
But even stuff they haven't created.
Sometimes garbage is garbage.
Absolutely.
Okay, good.
I don't know everything either.
Maybe there was, maybe whatever happened there
had a reason for it.
Maybe the people who want to call the Earth
have a reason for it that I'm not aware of.
What about the moon landing?
That's another thing.
I'm just, I'm telling you.
Not the moon.
I'm telling you.
We lost the moon.
I'm telling you.
Have you seen the videos that come back of that stuff
that looked like a really bad sci-fi?
Tell me why today when we have
in our cell phones the same computing power that people had in a building at IBM, right, in the 60s,
and we go, why haven't we been back? Well, we lost the technology. Do you buy that honestly?
No, nobody says that. They said that. NASA said that.
Nobody says that. Okay.
Nobody says that. What they say is we lost the will.
And we did.
No, they actually did.
I'll show it to you later.
Well, whoever said that was just on drugs.
Why did we lose the will?
We didn't.
Why did we lose the will?
Well, first of all, because I'll tell you why.
We went to the moon like, I don't know, 10 times or something,
maybe five, I don't know.
But we went the first time, you know,
it was like anything in show business.
First one was great.
First one got a lot of hits.
And then, you know, the second one was like, OK, well,
we've seen this before.
It's awesome.
I mean, it's amazing.
We congratulate you on your technological prowess here
in 1970.
But you just basically did the same thing.
You flew a rocket up to the moon. You landed, and then you got back safely to Earth.
You realize the real estate wasn't good, there wasn't pools.
There's nothing. So it was either like, where does this series go next?
And George Bush used to talk about, we're going to go to Mars, and you know,
we're going to, and because if we started from the moon, it would be easier
because we were already without gravity, you know, so we're just flying right into space.
Some gravity, not as much.
Not much, not as much as Earth.
So okay, that would be next.
I'm not for that, by the way, but that would be next if there was something.
But like, the series just ended because we couldn't get to Mars.
We didn't have that technology.
And we also just, what the fuck? Well, why we keep going back to the moon? Okay, we got to Mars. We didn't have that technology. And we also just, what the fuck?
Well, why we keep going back to the moon?
Okay, we got a rock.
We know it's just this fucking barren thing
that was a piece of the Earth for a billion years ago
and flew off and okay.
Do you know what bothered me as a child?
And then I'll tell you another concept.
When you see the rock, it should-
Santa Claus, this all goes back to Santa Claus.
I was like, how'd you get down that chimney
and not get dirty?
Why did they tell me about Santa Claus?
What's going on?
No, but Santa Claus is real.
Anyway.
Oh, jeez.
You haven't heard?
So anyway, the point is, as a kid, I never,
no, this is just as a child.
I'm going to tell you, I'm going to wrap this up.
Okay, I never knew why the rocket would take off,
there's the moon, and it would always go away,
and we'd never see it, like we could see the moon,
and we'd never see it, like nobody saw it from a periscope,
like their own telescope actually landing.
Never, never had anything of that.
And if you look at the module.
Wait, a telescope would not see something that.
Dude, this telescope sees things now going,
your iPhone.
No, no, no.
You blow up your iPhone.
A telescope in 1969 could not see something as small
as our spaceship.
Is that the last time we went to the moon, 69?
Around that, no.
We went in the early 70s.
I'm just saying, there are things that fly.
I'm telling you-
All I'm just saying, that's not a good-
There was a time, if you ask Native Americans,
and before, there was a time before the moon,
there was a school of thought.
Again, I don't necessarily believe everything,
I consider everything.
There's a school of thought
that says the moon was not always there.
It's not, I know, again.
Well, it wasn't, it wasn't always there.
It's not part of the earth. It's not like a know, again. Well, it wasn't. It wasn't always there.
It's not part of the Earth.
It's not like a piece that just broke off
and then became perfectly round.
That's exactly what it is.
Not to make this a history lesson,
but according to the Big Bang theory.
Native Americans knew the time before the moon.
No.
The universe, the Big Bang, is 14 billion years ago,
approximately.
Then matter cooled for 200 million years,
and then the stars started to form.
Earth was formed about four billion years ago,
so about 10 billion years after the Big Bang,
and the moon was probably a piece of it or something.
You know, it's just, it's all just fucking rocks out there.
But how do you know this?
Oh, we don't know this.
Ah, okay.
No, no, no.
Therein lies the rub.
I respect you.
All we can do, all we can, of course.
I don't know anything either, but you can admit that.
We can agree on that?
Certainly not the Big Bang thing, because that is theoretical astrophysics.
You're right.
I am absolutely trusting that Neil deGrasse Tyson knows better
than the priest I had when I was a child.
That was a lie.
Okay, okay.
It's not perfect either.
No, and it could be wrong.
And scientific theories are proved wrong in that one.
But they seem to think why the Earth,
the universe would have started that way
seems inconceivable, but whatever.
They seem to think they have stuff that they know,
and I know how they basically look at it.
What caused the Big Bang?
Well, exactly.
That question can never be answered.
And astrophysicists don't try to answer that question.
That's not their job.
What is their job?
Their job is to decipher as well as they can what happened to create the universe and
what the universe is now.
That's the question.
What happened to create the universe?
What caused it?
Right.
Again, they're not interested in that.
That's not their thing.
That's convenient.
And none of us can know.
No, no.
They're not saying that they're responsible for that.
And no one could be.
We don't know.
If the Big Bang was 14 billion years ago, why start things off that way?
And why then?
And what happened before?
And those questions you will never answer.
Exactly.
And my answer to that is, I don't care.
I just want to live a good life.
I said the exact same thing.
I don't care.
Because I'll never know.
You're saying there's a lot that we don't know.
And so I just wish that we were all gentle to each other
as human beings, and we only have so much on this planet.
It's the ants in the jar analogy.
You know, they say red army ants and black ants
get together there in a jar.
They're no problem.
When somebody shakes the jar, they kill each other.
Really?
Yeah, our jar is being shaken so much.
By who?
I don't know.
Maybe the people who want to see us fight each other instead
of them.
Maybe it's us.
Maybe we need to look in the mirror.
Maybe we're all just humans.
And it's our nature to be this way.
How about this?
I mean, I don't know.
Some of it is we're being manipulated,
and some of it is just us.
Let me tell you about the Taino Indians when Columbus came in.
The Taino Indians and the Arawaks.
I heard of them. They're the people. Arawaks, I heard of them. Yeah, well, Taino Indians when Columbus came in. The Taino Indians and the Arawaks. I heard of them.
Arawaks, I heard of them.
Yeah, well, Taino are the ones that were specific
to our island and I think some of the Dominican Republic.
Columbus wrote about them.
He goes, these are beautiful people.
They're of copper skin.
They're very healthy.
Did Columbus get to Puerto Rico?
Yeah, oh yeah, that was his second trip.
Really, where did he stay?
At the Hyatt, I think.
No, I think, no, at the convento, sorry.
Hyatt was after.
Anyway, he said, these are beautiful people.
They share everything they have.
They don't have, like, they don't, you know,
they're very peaceful.
They're loving.
They're just, with 50 men,
we can make them do whatever we want.
And I'm thinking a different mindset took over.
I think human beings can be loving.
They can.
And we're generally good people.
But we're farmed by people who don't believe in themselves
much less us.
All you have to do is-
So that's my thing.
Well, we're farmed.
We're just animals.
Our countries are like farms.
It's like the mob.
Hey, you control this territory, I control that territory.
We're just animals. And when you introduce the mob, hey, you control this territory, I control that territory. We're just animals, and when you introduce
the element of fear, all bets are off.
I mean...
You don't agree? Don't we agree on that?
Yes, I mean, if we were, you know,
crashed on a plane, just you and I in the Andes,
one of us would eat the other.
I'm just saying.
Yeah, but I'm of the thought that we would take our time
and look to avoid that as long as possible.
Of course, first.
I'm not saying on day two I'd eat you.
Of course I wouldn't eat you on day two.
Stop being the killer white male.
We try to fucking find a better solution.
I said, are we both, you know, I...
All right, it's great to see you.
I hope this is the beginning of many times in the future
since we missed too many years.
I've had some really wonderful times.
Yeah, yeah.
This is the ultimate man cave, by the way.
Okay.
No?
No, no, it is.
Okay.
I wanna see you back here. Hey, it's Bobby from The Really Good Podcast. because like what do they get? You have to have X amount of money. Yeah.
Hey, it's Bobby from the Really Good Podcast. I don't get excited about much,
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