Club Random with Bill Maher - George Santos | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

George Santos has been called a liar, a fraud, a fabulist, a convicted felon—and, for a while there, a United States Congressman. Now he’s at Club Random with Bill Maher, which feels about right! Santos talks about the lies that made him famous, finally admits the college and volleyball stories were complete BS, and explains how campaign finance crimes landed him in federal prison. He takes Bill inside life behind bars, including his time in solitary confinement. Bill, naturally, isn’t letting him off that easily. The two battle over which parts of the George Santos story are actually true, whether he’s learned anything, and why his explanations somehow keep creating more questions. They get into Trump, gay Republicans, cancel culture, political tribalism, the infamous drag photos, his family history, and what exactly comes next for George Santos. Bill has an idea: Hollywood. After all, he’s already got the résumé for playing George Santos. Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: https://billmaher.substack.com Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom Support our advertisers: Head to https://ZBiotics.com/RANDOM, code RANDOM for fifteen percent off your first order. For a limited time only our listeners get ten percent off your order with our exclusive link. Just head to https://hexclad.com/RANDOM Go to https://120Life.com and use my code RANDOM for 20% off. Try it risk-free for two weeks. Chapter. The only Medicare advisors that compare every plan out there: 984-217-3643 Buy Club Random Merch: https://clubrandom.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM In Club Random, Bill Maher unleashes his comedic wit on an unpredictable lineup – from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Quentin Tarantino and Neil deGrasse Tyson – digging into everything but politics. It’s Maher in his familiar element: one-on-one vibes, unfiltered laughs, and the kind of freewheeling banter only he can deliver. ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last 23 years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 41 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written six bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass", and most recently "What This Comedian Said Will Shock You". FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You got it all out of your system. What was presently? I was there for 23 days, and then the warden put me in solitary confinement under. What'd you do? Hi! How are you? Look at how friendly. Every guest should greet me this friendly.

How are you? Some of these motherfuckers don't even stand up. Oh, that's so bad. You deserve it. You deserve for people and stand up for you. Some of them have been 90, that's why. Hey, see this thing? What is that?

Well, now, you're from Brazil, right? Yeah, my family's from Brazil. Okay. I was born in New York. George, we're going to have to get to it. We'll get to it, yeah, absolutely. This thing is from Brazil, I believe. That's quite a...

Really? Yes. I had a friend who was an art dealer, And this is quite a valuable... Is it like a Bossa Nova type band? Yes, and you plug it in. And these motherfuckers, like, they move. They move and play?

It's fucking creepy. Is it like Girl of Epinema or something like that? But aren't those... The faces are creepy. They are creepy. It's very like The Shining. You know what I mean? Yeah, Annabelle meets the Shining.

Yeah, so... But I thought, Brazil, but... You're from, you were born? I was born New York City. But your parents are from Brazil? Born in Brazil. So it's funny, my family is an immigration chain of chaos. Right, because you also say you're a Jew.

Jew-ish. And your grandparents were in the Holocaust? My mother's grandparents, so my great-grandparents, were in Europe during the Holocaust. There was a dislocation. As Jews. Jews, yeah. My mom was raised- So they lived through the Holocaust.

They lived through it. and they migrated to Brazil, part of that great exodus. And then some genealogists from France, hired by the New York Times, said, I was lying. It's the story I was told my whole life. It would be funny if we found out today that you've been telling the truth about everything. I'm not counting on that, George. Well, you know, look, I've been proven right on a lot of stuff in recent times.

Well, okay, look. And again, I'm not here to judica. I'm not in a conversation. I'm not either. We're here to have you seen this podcast before? It's, we could see. I'm just a guy who likes to fucking get high with somebody. And I love it.

And look, I'm also called bullshit, bullshit, and that's probably going to have. That's great, yeah. I should. George, I don't think I'm breaking news to you. I'm the first one to see. I've said a lot of bullshit in my life. Oh, good. I'm very self-aware of that.

Okay, because the... Hey, I went to prison, Bill. Let's just put it that way. I heard you had a good time. I don't know about that. No, I'm sure. It was a bad time. But the consensus is that you kind of pinocchioed your way into Congress.

And I have to tell you your reputation. Again, I'm not here to attack you. But I mentioned, by the way, I'm very excited you're here. I'm so excited. So like when they told me it was, it came across. It was last minute. Yeah, it was last minute. Chuck was so great.

I got your staff amazing. They are great. And I was like, oh my gosh. And I told someone who is a very dear friend of mine, that, and this is a 28-year-old person, and I said, George Santos, and she went, the liar guy? That was like the person who's not like that much of a news

sound. That's what the headline was. But, you know, if you can tell me, like this, I thought, you know, it sounded like what they were saying was that your grandparents escaped. the Holocaust by being born Catholic in Brazil. But you're saying they left, they lived through the Holocaust. Do they have stories of living through the Holocaust?

My great-grandparents, not my grandparents. That's where the disconnect originally was. So my mother is born in Brazil to a Brazilian parent and a Belgian parent. My great-grandparents are Belgium, right? So that's my last name is DeVolder on my mom's side and Santos on my dad's side. But you identify as a Jew? No, I identify as Catholic. I was raised Catholic.

But now? I say Jewish. I did that stupid 23 in me. I did a documentary. They made me do a 23 of me to prove it. It says I'm 33% Ashkenazi. So in the 23 and me DNA. But it wasn't like you're like me then.

Like Jewish is part of my like genetic heritage. But I'm not Jewish. I was not. I was raised Catholic. Raised Catholic. You were raised Catholic? Raised Catholic. Yeah.

So we had the same thing. So I carry this on my neck. And I've carried it since I'm 15. I have a star of David that was given to me by my mom and a Catholic cross. And I've carried this in my neck since I'm 15 years old. I'm 38 years old. You feel that wards off evil? I just feel...

My mom passed away 10 years ago, so for me, it's just like, I don't know. It's going to die over my neck. And you're gay? Last I checked, yeah. I'm married to my husband. Is that a gay thing? None of you don't suck. No.

There's a lot to be unpacked there that I'm not giving you the privilege of unpacking. It was an old joke. It's a great one. A gay guy wakes up next to another gay guy in the morning. He says, oh my God, did I commit a gay act? And the guy says, Peter Allen is a gay act. You fuck me in the end. That's actually great.

But you're out of politics. That's good because- I'm a recovering politician and I never want to do anything in politics again. I don't think it was right for you. You're moving toward show business. And see, this is, I think, a good move because, like, politics, I mean, you can bullshit a crazy amount, but there is a limit. There is. What's good for you is show business.

There's no limit. It's just all bullshit. And so I'm learning. Do you know how many people in L.A. Do you know how many people in L.A. actually say they represent me when they don't? Really? Oh, I have. So.

Who does represent? aren't you? IAG as of recent. Isn't that an insurance company? No, independent artist group. That's how much trouble this guy's in. His agent isn't an insurance? No, IAG is an independent artist group.

I just engaged with them. Who else do they have? Who are there? I don't. Really? You don't know? I don't. Is it bad that I don't know?

Yes. I'm kind of new to this business. Are you kidding? Everybody in this town, if you're switching agencies or you're thinking of it, you want to know, do They have people on my level, you know. Are they, you know, I mean, I'm this level. I'm bottom of the barrel. I'm crawling my way up on it.

So I would hope they don't have people at my level and it's higher. So anything is up for me. That's why I'm not too picky. Well. Very self-aware of that. I was going to say, you know, your honesty comes out when it comes out. I mean, you're like, maybe I'm the whisperer. I don't know.

Trump like me. I mean, President Trump loved your dinner with him. We both did. We both had a very good time, even, and including me contradicting him constantly. He never got mad. But, you know, they get mad when I report that, but that's exactly what happened. But we're not here to talk. But you were a supporter, too, right?

I mean, you won as a Republican. I was a very conservative Republican. Proud of that. Are you in the log cabin Republicans? At one point I was. They're not a serious organization. You don't think so. Tell me why.

They're not. For people who don't know, that's the gay... It's a glorified sex club. Wow. Now, there's headline news. Yeah. The Glock Cabin Republicans is the lobby within the Republican Party

for gay Republicans, and there are a lot. There are a lot, yeah. Peter Thiel and, I mean, you know... I mean, you can go back to R&C Chairman Ken Melbourne who works for KKR now. Quite a few in the closet.

What? Look, let me be honest with you. When I was in Congress, I was the first ever openly gay man elected to Congress. Well, when I served in Congress, I was not... You were the first openly gay man elected to Congress? Republican, yes. Well, here's the cruel joke of adulthood.

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Republican. I was a first Republican gay man openly elected Congress. There's been plenty who were outed, but I ran with that front line. I am gay. Well, I am not going to even have to fact check that. Repetion speaks for itself. If you say, you were the first Republican gay man. I don't know that.

I'll say this. I thought it was Aaron Schockett, but apparently he was outed in office, right? Former representative from, what, is it, Illinois? Yes, I'm shock, right? Aaron Schock, right? Aaron Schock. He was outing. Remember the Downton Abbey, the core of his office?

What about Larry Craig? Well, he was also outed. Senator. Yes, Senator. They were all outed. I came into the fray, hey, I'm gay and I'm a Republican. Here are my values. But Barney Frank did it as a Democrat long before.

Oh, no, no. Democrats have been electing the homos for years. They have no issues with it. But for Republican, it was a sort of a glass ceiling. You're right. And I was shocked. When they reported, also my race was the first time in history that the two major party candidates were gay, because my opponent was gay. The only thing is, he was 68 and I was 34.

By the end of this show, you're going to have me being gay. I think your time and opportunity for us coming God. I don't think you have that risk. I hadn't been on Santa Monica Boulevard here, the famous gay strip. I wouldn't know. They hate me, so I don't go where they are. Come on, you don't know. If I go to West Hollywood, they'll set me on fire.

Why? Because you're a Republican. Because I'm Republican. I fucking hate this about the left. It's not the left. It's the left. It's the gay. The left are very tolerant of me, believe it.

Well, they're, they're, but what they hate about you is that they're, they are politically left and they see you as politically right. Yeah. And that is an intolerable situation for some people, which it just is. The tolerant left is not very tolerant. That's what I'm saying. That's what I always, you say that on your show a lot. All the time. That the conservatives are.

willing to come and take it, but the Dems won't come. I call them out for it all the time. They just have a terrible attitude about what sort of monopoly on the truth they have. Yes, Trump is worse than anybody the Democrat. I get all that. I said all that before all of them did. It doesn't mean the search for truth ends there. That's the beginning of the story.

There's a lot that goes on after that, like the 77 million Americans who voted for them. It's like for them, it's like everybody who voted for Trump is, Trump. And that's just such a simplistic, stupid way to look at the world. I agree. Well, it's just obvious. Well, how about this? It's funny that on my way here today, I was like watching stuff on my video on my phone in the plane. And a video popped up. And I have never seen it. And it's crazy because I think I've seen everything from 2016. But it was a Michael Moore voiceover about the like roundup of 2016. So this is a whole new version of him talking about it. And it's funny because he's like, and they referenced me all through election night because he was alarming throughout the media, if you remember, in 2016, on your show including saying, like, you guys are underestimating Trump.

I live in Wisconsin. I hear what these people are going through. I hear what they want. You guys are discounting him. Right. And again, history shows that there was a level of arrogance. I mean, from George Clooney to Nancy Pelosi and all the way through media, just like there's not going to be a Donald Trump president. Well, not only there was a president Trump, there's a two-term president.

in Trump. So you're going to have a hard time you're saying in this world of show business because and you're right. I mean, you know, they used to use this term blacklist and then they blacklisted the actual term blacklist. I'm serious. These people are out of their minds. But and the blacklist was as opposed or no, the white list. Blacklisting was like from the, you know, in the McCarthy era. People if you were suspected of being a communist. A white list is if you're a conservative, in Hollywood. They will either not hire you, not work with you,

snub you. There's the writer Taylor Sheridan, the biggest, I think, bestest writer in television today, but he's perceived as a conservative. It's really not. But, you know, his shows,

you know, Yellowstone. They're about America. None of the most high... Not everything takes place, you know, in a fucking magazine office in San Francisco. I mean, a lot. can be argued about the Devil Wars Prada in New York City, right?

The most iconic movie in my generation is a Devil Wars Prada, and proof of that is the sequel was just as good as the first one. I'm admitting to see it. Amazing. Oh, really? I will say this. Look, Meryl Strip probably hates me and everything about me, but she's a phenomenal actress and I'm going to give it to her.

I'm not one of it. Exactly. I am conservative. I am very fiscally conservative, but I'm socially liberal. I'm a gay man from New York City. bill. My conservative values spam from common sense in a sense where we can't spend theirself out of debt we need to save to get out of debt. And we can't promote, you know, trans surgery for children. Like those are the things that like I common sense. I don't, I don't,

and a lot of people like to say that I voted against gay rights. No, I voted against gender transitioning of children. And I stand by that vote. Yeah, and you can stand by that vote. George, I don't think, as a campaign manager here, this is not the main problem we have. Oh, no, of course not. The main problem is that people think... Well, cheers. Great to talk to you.

Cheers. We're just beginning. People think that you lied about your religion, your education, your aunties. Oh, my education is all bullshit. Your jobs, your finances. My finances I didn't lie about. Your charity were.

And some of your things were so bizarre, like, why say you went to colleges when you know they can prove you didn't? So, you know, it's funny. And it's probably heard me say this before your audience probably. That lie started in a controlled environment to impress the GOP party chair. Big college guy. He's a Notre Dame grad, obsessed, referee for Notre Dame, like in his older age. And what is his job? He's a GOP chairman in the...

in on Long Island, Nassau County on Long Island. I knew his approval. And this lie comes from, and again, by the way, I worked in the private sector without ever lying about my education. I mean, I was very caught. I worked for four major private equity, you know, mid-sized companies from MetGlobal, which was a Turkish company, to Link Bridge investors, which was a startup. And then Harbor City Capitals that, you know, blew up because the owner decided to go

fucking sideways with things. But again, I had no involvement in that. was an employee. So you were working in finance. I was a private equity capital placement agent, essentially. That's literally what I did. I raised money. That's why I raised so much money for my race, because I'm good at selling. I'm a great salesman. I can sell sand in a desert in a drought. So, well, that was my, that was kind of like my profession. So selling myself to the people wasn't so hard. Okay, but you know. But you shouldn't lie and no excuses for it. You went to prison and 28-year-old think of you as the liar guy.

So they're, you know, that's... It's hard to fight the media narrative. Well, I'm a great salesman. Yeah, I mean, I mean, Trump, obviously, has told more lies than all the presidents combined. I don't know that that's true, though. But you do know it's true. You know that even his fans say, we take him seriously, not literally.

You know that he just pulls stuff out of his ass whenever he wants to. Is it a lot? Or how about this? Is it a lie or it is a strategic like disruption of the matrix, right? Like I feel, and I'm not making excuses, but I'm going to throw this at you. Try that in a relationship. It doesn't work. Honey, I'm not fucking the cocktail waitress.

It's a rupture in the matrix. That's not what I'm saying. Well, it's kind of is what you're saying. We're redefining lying now. No, no, I'm not. I'm definitely not going to redefine lying because, after my entire experience, I look, Bill, at 37 years old,

I ended up three days after my 37th year birthday in federal prison, which was supposed to be an egregious seven-year sentence, which, you know, by the grace of God and President Trump, pardon you. He commuted me. I'm still a felon. Oh, right.

So I'm very lucky and very fortunate. I was given this amazing second chance, right? The point that I always get at with, with these conversations are, you're not, don't expect me to tell you a lie ever again. And it's like, blunt truth and abrasive.

I feel like if this show serves as a new beginning, I have done a great service. Because obviously I see talking to you, and it is so different than what you get from through the press. Everything is filtered through the press. I'm an evil person in the press. I see you're nice guy.

You're smart. You are good at politics. You have a very buoyant, about you that I could see why people, let's frankly be frank, you did lie about things. Oh, no, I did. Okay. September rolls in with that fake New Year energy. Everyone pretends they're getting their life together, buying planners, they'll ghost by Halloween.

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This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I admit that. It's a great deal of shame. What about the cats one where you neutered like 3,000 cats? That was so specific. By the way, so true story. You cut the balls off cats. No, no.

So that's actually a true statement. That was, we were able to prove that one. Luckily, I was part of a program. for TNR, trap neuter release, just to reduce. Trap neuter release. That's what it is. It's an ASPCA. Get rid of traps.

No, you put traps out. Get the, get street cats, right? Without killing them traps. We don't kill them. No, I'm saying the traps don't kill them. They just capture them. How do you do that? You put food in it.

They walk in, they're starving. They're scavenging. Right. You go, you find colonies. They come in. Wow. You take them to the SPCA. Right.

They put them out, neuter them. You stop the proliferation. And you did that. I'm allergic to cats and I did that. Like, I'm deadly allergic. I mean, from what I read, you estimated you've cut off 3,000 balls. Not just balls, but you get the gist of it. Yeah, that was the number over the course of 10 years, yes.

Which is not bad. Turns out you're George Washington. You've never told a lie. No, no. I mean, so, okay, so that one, what about volleyball in college? Well, look, I didn't go to college, so that was bullshit. Come on. But why, George?

You know what? So back to the story, which was supposed to be a lie for a one... Yes, this is interesting. Finish that. So it was a one-person audience lie. You need to relate with this man with sports, because this is his entire vernacular. Everything is about the end zone. And I don't know the first fucking thing about football.

Because you're gay. Well, duh. So I had to come up with sports I knew. Tennis. I know a lot about tennis. tennis, the US Open just finished. My favorite player got smoked, which is Alcaras. I absolutely love him. Spaniard player. He's a prodigy, if anything. And quite a hunk to watch for the whole match. Not going to lie. Well, he was puking in the towel. That doesn't hurt. Are you what? He was puking in his towel. Still hot, I bet. It's still very hot.

Do I know gay? So you know that you know the gay. So I knew tennis wasn't going to be it. And I said, look, the only other sport that I can speak. somewhat technical terms as volleyball or soccer but volleyball i played volleyball in junior high and in high school you don't look like a volleyball player i was i'm fat now i look like the ball but i look like the ball i wasn't fat my whole life damn it bill oh really no so you were young and spelt and i had it i dude i i actually i know you athletic uh no okay i liked volleyball because it didn't recall, like, when you're in school volleyball, like there's, like, I think 12 of these fuckers on each side of the net,

you really barely move. Like, you gotta be really, you gotta really go out of your way to fucking chase the ball when there's 12 motherfuckers on each side of the net. And they always play in the sand, right? No, we were playing a court volleyball. Oh, oh. So indoors, court, right? So that's the only thing I knew

kind of technical terms. So I said to him, like, you know, chairman, I didn't play, I didn't play football, but I play volleyball and that's where it all started. And I left that meeting and I really hope this conversation ever has to be repeated because I can't remember the first or the last lie I told

in there, but it was enough to impress him. The thing I wasn't counting on said in, like, in the months to come, he started introducing me. You know, he would always use a little political sports innuendo to introduce candidates at functions.

And he's going to spike the victory from the back of the court. And I'm like, oh, no. I'm like, oh, I'm so. And that's when it started. I'm like, oh, shit, I'm going to have to keep this up. And once you start telling one lie, I'm not saying you're a liar, but once you tell a lie, you've got to cover up lies with lies.

And then the rest is just bad. Well, I mean, first of all, I love hearing the details to these stories. It's so interesting. It's like I was given something that was a rough sketch in black and white, and now somebody's putting in the colors. And I see the picture. No, again, you're still a liar on that. Oh, terrible.

And a bad one at that. But let me throw this down as a gesture to, you know, everyone in America is a liar. And I remember distinctly the year after I grew, no, maybe it was my summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college and I was going for this summer job. It was so ridiculous. A door-to-door pot and pan salesman. Really. This is like 1976, and they figured what you would do, this is so sick, you'd go through the phone book and cold call girls who you learned from their high school yearbooks weren't going to college because they were going to get married and would need cookware. That's amazing. It is amazing.

And I wanted this job. So wait, you have this big, thick yellow pages in one hand and your yearbook on the other hand. They're like, yeah, no, she's definitely not. The yearbooks were in the library. So you look in the earbooks and you find the bitches who were not going to. It's just so wrong. Wait, hold on. Were they the pretty girls, though?

Or were they the fat, ugly girls? I would assume the ugly girls had to go to college because nobody was going to marry them. That's a good point. And I certainly had it in my mind. Oh, when I walk up to their house with this giant suitcase full of pots and pans, I'm going to meet some hot chicks. Why can't the salesman be the guy? It's like a perfect rom-com.

So when I went in for- How many of them did you bang? No, I quit after four days. Oh, that's so bad. Like, I remember in the interview, there was some question that they asked me, and on the spot, I made up a huge lie because I knew I was trying to get a job as a salesman,

and I spun this yarn about how I talked somebody out of suicide. And it came from whole cloth. It came from the desperation of, I need a job. I need an answer. This one is a good one, and I could get this job, and who's going to check? And another life I saved, you know. So we all do it to a degree.

Look, look. You may have taken a little too much advantage. Look, prior to running for Congress... And you're black. My dad is Afro-Brazilian. And the picture's out there to prove it. You're a proudly gay. Jeterosexual.

No, no. Gay. Aren't you a brain tumor victim? Huh? Didn't you have a brain tumor? You see, that story was stories that were fabricated. Brain tumor, producer,

and I never said those things. You'll never find record of me saying those things. Really? Where'd they get the brain tumor? I don't know. Who said it first? Hold, I don't remember.

It's been a lot, Bill. Spider-Man producer. There's records of me on Facebook. I went to watch it, and I'm, like, shitting on it. Like, it was awful. I don't know if you remember the reporting on it. About the brain tumor?

No, I'm talking about producing Spider-Man on Broadway. Who did that? People said I said that. I've never said that. They did? They said you said you- People literally said, I'll own up to any lie I've ever told. Right.

I will not take... No, if you had a piece of Spider-Man on Broadway, you'd be doing better. Oh, no, well, that's not true because it was a flop. Oh, it was? It was a total flop. I thought Spider-Man was like the most successful. That must be the movie. It was canceled, like, months into it.

because the whole acrobatics of it was a hazard. I think they went through multi. I had to obviously read up on this after the fact. So why did you produce it? I didn't produce it. But I was credited for it. That's actually in the Smithsonian Museum in D.C. George Santos once said he lied about producing Spider-Man.

I'm like, I never said that. It's not even on the record. Well, you know, I mean, it's hysterical because even though knowing the reputation you had and you admit some of these things, yes, lies. I still, when you present the case, well, the media got this wrong, my immediate reaction just is not, well, the media doesn't get things wrong.

My reaction is, yeah, you know what? That could very well be true. Bill. I don't trust them ever, any of them. I have to read three of them to get the full story. Nobody ever has any interest in telling you the full story. They just want their name. They want to shove their narrative down your gizzard.

That's what they want to do. We live in a time with the media where I am very critical of it because nobody is interested in being right. They're interested in being first. And if they have to make corrections later, they don't care. They don't care about the consequences. You're so right. That's such a huge part of it. This is not, this isn't my case, though.

My case is a little different. I owned up to a lot of stupid stuff I did. A lot of inexcusably dumb decisions. And I've owned up to them in court. I've owned up to them to the press. I've owned up to my family in the media, in Congress. I mean, time and time again to nauseam. And I will continue to do so so long as it's requested required of me.

What are the top five? Well, I guess I can't even rank them. Goldman Sachs. Oh, yeah, Goldman Sachs. By the way, like in hindsight, who the hell would even think that's a good idea. I don't want to be associated with Goldman Sachs. Why would you want to be associated with Baruch College? Well, it's a great school. Look, I don't trust much, and I definitely don't trust anything that makes Medicare more complicated than it already is. A lot of people

selling plans get paid differently depending on what they steer you toward, which doesn't necessarily mean bad advice, but it does make you wonder who they're really representing. So the trick is finding somebody whose only job is to be honest about it. That's what you, what makes Chapter interesting. They don't get paid more for recommending one plan over another, so they don't have a reason to steer you anywhere. They advocate for you, not big insurance. They are the only Medicare advisors that will compare every plan available, walk through your doctors, your prescriptions, what matters to you. And if you're already on the right plan, they'll just tell you that. But folks who found a new plan with Chapter saved an average of $1,100,

on health care costs. Call chapter today at 984-217-3643 to get advice you can trust. That's 984-217-3643. It's a very good. Oh, it is? It is. I actually enrolled there, but I just never attended. You know, one of my first jobs ever as a comedian was a noontime show at Baruch College.

It's just like 1980. That's amazing. Yeah. And, like, everybody was... Before CUNY. Well, it was like comedy was exploding. It was like the thing. Like as soon as the disco ball came down, it was like comedy was the next thing.

It was everywhere and everybody wanted it everywhere. I did a lot of shows like on floors, no stage. It's amazing. Yeah, that sounds super fun. Yeah. And this is, no stage. It's like somewhere. I mean, it's appropriate.

Jewish school, Jewish comedian. I'm not Jewish and you're not Jewish. I'm like you. I'm like you. Black, proudly, gay, heterosexual, brain. tumor victim who survived the Holocaust in Brazil. Oh, my goodness. This is amazing.

I expected no less. You should come. If I do a roast George Santos, you should come to roast me. It'd be so fun. If you're, oh, who's going to roast you? I'm planning on doing a roast, George Santos. That's a smart thing. You should come.

I will. Here's an invitation right now. You should come. I'll how my people call your people. Only if I can go on first, because everybody's going to do the same jokes. That's fine. can go on first. Deal. Okay. Deal on camera.

All right. Won't go back on it. That would be fun. Do you know Jim Norton? Yeah, well, I know of him. I love Jim. Jim agreed to do it. Oh, okay. Well, he's a great, you know, company to be in. He's hilarious. Yeah, I mean, I'm doing one for Jesse Smolett next month. Oh, is it in MAGA country, Illinois?

So I'm a little... Is it in MAGA country downtown Chicago? I don't know if I want to do two of them. without one year. I don't know. I'll look into my schedule, but... But really? I would do that. Actually? No. Oh. You got me there. You just never know. He's the only other liar on this level that I could come up with.

He did Special Forces Season 4. I did Special Forces Season 5, so... What's that? Oh, the Fox show that they put you through the Special Forces military training. That one? You did that? Premier's on the 24th of September. So we haven't seen it yet? No. How, what's it like?

It's insane. We were in the middle of the Malaysian jungle in an island called Langkawi. So I flew JFK Seoul, Seoul, Singapore, slept in Singapore because I needed a stop at one point, then went into Kuala Lumpur, then from Kuala Lumpur to Lankawi, which is a little beautiful, very common destination for like Australians, apparently, because you saw a lot of the Aussies there. And it was beautiful, right? I caught malaria. It was just lovely.

Really? Lucky lovely. No. Well, it's a mosquito bite. You got malaria? It's a fever. It's bad. Well, when people used to get it, it was a killer.

Well, not anymore. I was on... What did they do? Coynein is what they used to be. I just had... The guys in World War II got it, fighting the Japanese. And also they got it in Vietnam. Yeah.

But my point is... So now they know how to handle it? Yeah, there's a drug called literally malaria. And it just squashes it? It mitigates the effects. Essentially, I was taking malaria. There's no side effects? There were side effects.

From the malaria? Well, no, from the malaria. Like what? Like diarrhea. So the whole, the experience was very interesting. But again, not my first rodeo with some bizarre mosquito-borne disease because I've had dengue, which is West Nile mosquito airborne, which Brazil is very common. They don't want that one either.

Yeah, well. Wow. You've had dengue? Well, yeah. You go to Brazil as a kid your whole life every summer. Right. You get Bengi eventually. Is this why I was...

Takes one mosquito. I don't go east of La Brea. I'm just... I'm just none. I just go everywhere. So that's so... It was a great experience, but very humbling. Oh, my God.

Where do you live now? I live in Pennsylvania. Oh, Pennsylvania? So, yeah, I left... What kind of a town? I'm in the Poconos. Whoa. I know someone from the Poconos.

Yeah, I live in the Poconos for the last two years. Oh, that's awesome. So, and I live in the Poconos for the last two years. Oh, that's awesome. So, so. It's almost like a hallmark movie. Moves back to his hometown. I'm from New York, though.

Meets a handsome guy who lives in the... A lumberjack. No, he lives in the big city, and he's hustling and bustling, and he meets you there in the rural place, and it's like, how are we going to make this work? You're married. I'm married, yeah. How long have you been married?

Five years this year, but together, we dated three years prior to getting married. So eight years together. We met on Grindr, on an app glitch. You say that like, it's surprising. We met on Grindr. Well, most people fuck on Grindr. They don't get married off of it. That's the thing.

Well. That's the joke. At least for gays. Fucking leads to Morris. I've never met anyone who said I met my husband off of Grindr. I'm yet to hear that. I've heard Tinder hinge, but not Grinder. Okay, but that seems weird because, I guess, only speaking from the heterosexual world,

and I am the most heterosexual man in America. I believe, yeah. It's true. It oozes. The testosterone oozes. I just don't have, and I love the gays, but I don't have the chip. Okay, but like in the heterosexual world, yes, there... I might get straightened today because there's so much testosterone.

There certainly are instances where two people hook up, as the kids say, meaning they just met, they barely know each other. They're both horny. They're attracted to each other, and they fuck. And then they actually find out they like each other. I mean, it's the old thing where, you know, I get, this is not me now, but when I was younger, you know, safe sex. Oh, of course we're going to have safe sex. And then you do.

You fuck with the rubber the first time. And then a half hour later, you start fucking again. And she's like, what happened in the rubber? I'm like, well, that's when we didn't know each other. Now we know each other. You said when we know, of course we don't know. Now we, I mean, for God's sakes, we just fuck. Yeah.

How much more intimate can you get? It does make people like each other. and bond on a level that nothing does. That's funny. So, like, I can't believe that people haven't met on Grindr and then gotten married. I haven't met. I'm not saying it doesn't exist.

I'm pretty sure in bumblefock, Oklahoma, where they don't want to talk about this stuff, there's probably a bunch of these gays that have done it or, you know, I don't know where else in the country. But in New York, it's such a seedy, detached environment. I agree. So I mean New York in general. In general.

Right. And then grinder is just elevated because it siphons down all the seedy really detach human beings. I lived in New York twice. I lived... My condolences. Yes, I lived in a predominantly gay area called Manhattan. What part? Health Kitchen. That's the joke. I did live in Hell's Kitchen. Of course he did. Of course he did. If you work in television, you live in Hell's Kitchen.

Well, this is before I worked in television. Oh, really? Yeah, this is 1980 when I was... Oh, my God, I wasn't even bored. Working on sawdust floors, yeah. Oh, that must have been hot. It was not. It was horrible. Starting is horrible. So where do you want to, now, you're, you're sagging into the show business, you're going to fight the, you know, headwinds of prejudice against a conservative Republican and the other thing. Fallen, liar, gay, Republican. I mean, I have a lot of minorities. I know, but you know what? My thing is, I think you should cultivate the gay crowd first because,

They hate me. We'll make them like me. I attacked Trixie Mattel, one of the drag queens that they love the most. We had this massive feud on Twitter and I came out on top and they could never forgive me for it. True story, by the way. It's the funniest exchange will ever see a city United States congressman having with a drag queen. That was very, very fun. But I'll say this.

I have to say I have had an amazing experience so far in my christening of, entertainment. I have been given so much grace. I've worked with people of all, I mean, if you look at the cast of special forces. You just said people are fighting to represent you. No, no, not fighting. Lying. But wasn't that a form of wanting to represent? Well, no, I think it's because there's been a lot of, I have said a lot of nose to a lot of different projects because I didn't like either the title of the show or the direction it was going in because in my mind, I said, I don't want to be associated with this or with that. If I'm going to build a brand new brand for myself,

that's an oxymoron, I wanted to have something meaningful. And I thought Special Forces when it came out, I'm like, okay, I'm way overweight. I have no business being in cameos and then jumping out of helicopters like I did. But you know what? Everything that I did in Special Forces,

I stand by and I'm so proud. It doesn't get you in shape? Oh, it could if it wasn't a short, it's a show, right? It's like, how fast can you get in a short production? How long are you there for? I can't say that contractually. Really? Because then it reveals like my duration on the show.

Okay. But it has to be a while. It's not a day. Like I said, I can't say that. Wow. That's very, yeah. No, I get it. So it's like it's a quick production.

It's not a very long run. So imagine putting that, it's intense. It's a lot of stuff like. And are you actually sleeping intense? Not tense, but like a barricade would be for, you'll like in a barricade, me a barracks? Barric, sorry, not barricade. Barracks would be, forgive me, have 40th, slip. And what about the food? Is they provided?

They provide it, yeah. It's very, I mean, look, there's so much you can fit into production. Imagine if we had to actually do slop line up and actually cook. So they cater it. We serve it, you know, interesting concept. There, but for the grace of the God I don't believe in, go. Because the things people do for fame, like, I love being on TV, only because I love the actual job I'm doing. But I don't need it. And, like, if it ended tomorrow, I mean, I'm not going to... You wouldn't be mad like...

I'm not going to, like, fuck a scorpion. The crazy shit people do just to stay in the public eye. Yeah. I'd be like, you know, whatever. You know what's amazing to me? Guys will drop three grand on an 85-inch OLED TV for maximum football Christmas, then cook on a scratched $20 pan from college. So the picture is flawless, and the burgers are welded to the bottom of the pan like dried cement. And there you are, missing the third quarter, scrubbing like you're destroying evidence.

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about when you're trying to overcome the amount of odds I created for myself, there's a people want to see a little bit of you being humbled and broken down. A little. There are a bunch of bitches who want to see humbling 24-7. True. I gave them as much as I could on the show, and I'm very proud of what I put forward. Bill, if you look at the cast of people that were on the show, you could not create this lineup, even if you, in your wildest dreams. Can you tell us that?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Who else is on it? Candice Cameron Brew. like DJ Tanner from Full House. She's on there, Candace Cameron. Then you have Dave Charvey, Baywatch. Baywatch.

Oliver Hudson, great actor, right? You have Ruby Rose, controversy queen herself, right? With the recent Katie Perry stories. And then you have football players like LaShawn McCoy from the Eagles, the Philly Eagles, retired football player. And Maxim, oh my God.

It's like a virtual woodstock of the D-list. It's insane. It's like, it's a hot job. Wow. Are you familiar with the Housewives of Beverly Hills? Am I familiar? Oh, my God. Brandy?

Brandy. Galvin, she's on the show. It's like you couldn't make this up. No, it was... I certainly couldn't because I don't know these people. So I couldn't make it up at all. So my point is they're very different people, different walks of lives. And I thought it was great.

I thought it gave us a great opportunity to showcase who we truly are outside of whatever the media says. You know what, George Santos? I need a new guilty pleasure show. Please watch. And I'm going to make this the one. Okay, so where are you going to morph into after this? So, like, this will introduce you to the world of survivalists. Well, yeah, it's definitely not what I don't see myself becoming a perpetual perennial contestant on reality shows.

I will do the ones I find. I do. I, you see, I think that's the easy way to do it. I don't like easy things. I mean, so I'm going to try to develop something else. We have a few projects on fires. And you know how this is. You'll have like 10 not fires on the fire.

One will sell. Lying is kind of the easy thing. Eh. Come on. Like I said, we all do it. I guess. No, you're right. But look, you're.

But it can't define my entire 38 years. No, you know what else I learned? I, you look younger in person. and I didn't know you were 38. I wouldn't have actually guessed. I thought it was older. I'm not like crazy. I got elected at 34.

Yeah, but I would have guessed a little. I mean, I saw you in that fleece thing with the sport coat. It just, you know, it kind of had an older look. It's just like where I'm from. That's kind of what we do. Well, Highlanders, we kind of do the whole quarter zip with the jacket over. It's a thing. It was a little Palm Springs after the Tonys, you know.

Could be. Could be. Weakened that Bernie's. The breakers. You know. Barry the breaker. I spent a week a year at the breaker, so maybe that rubbed off on May. You spent a year?

I spend a week a year at the breakers. Oh, the breakers, which is the... Palm Beach. The big hotel in Palm Beach. Yeah, it's so nice. I stayed there once. They were snobby as fuck. They did not make me like them.

I love them. Good. Then tell them they should have been nice. You know what it is? It's not me that likes it. It's my husband who likes it. So I do it for him because he puts up with all my bullshit. So I...

That's our sport. You know, every fucking married person says the same thing. They put up with my bullshit. That's true. Again, I never got married. I'm actually gayer than you in all this way. You've engaged in gay relationships more often than I did without getting married, right? To never get married is much more of a traditionally gay thing.

It is, yeah. It is 100%. I'm actually, in a way, gayer than you. My lawyer says that, so there's a joke. He's been married four times, but one of them was a gay marriage because he never got married. They just lived together. Joe, we always make fun of him with that. Oh, I forgot what I was going to tell you about that.

No, no. About putting up with the other partner? Yes. Thank you. Yes, every married couple says they put up with my bullshit, and it just never computes with me. It's like if there's even this element of I'm putting up with a lot of bullshit with this person, why do you want, and then they go into some song and dance about,

oh, but the great parts. And then one of the great parts. And it's just like, it just always seems outweighed by the... When I say bullshit, here's what I come up with, okay? He never wanted spotlight. Matter of fact, I did a great job in horse trading with the media. A lot of people ask me, how did you get your husband to not be sucked in? Do they interview him, too?

They tried. Okay, because I didn't even know you had a husband. Oh, yeah. So I think he stayed out of the spotlight pretty well. Well, no, I horse traded. Every time they would say, oh, we're going to go after Matt, I would give them a scoot. Wow, now that's noble. Yeah, I would fall.

I fell on several swords to keep my husband out of it because he didn't seek this shit. I did. Noble, honest, George Santosh. I don't know about noble, but I think it's fair to not drag your partner into your mess. I think that was a fair thing. No, that's very no. It is noble. It is noble.

I threw myself on a couple of swords to keep his world, somewhat intact. That is not something everyone would do or does do. Well, he deserved it, and I stand by it. And he stood by me through my worst load. People do crazily selfish things. I mean, people will like, you know, give a kidney, and then as soon as you're better, the guy will leave you. You know, like, they're just crazy, selfish things people do. So it's always noticeable. Look, I'm going to say this to you, Bill. For me, the entire existence of being called a liar is a struggle because if you talk to anybody who's known me prior to me running for office, I had a reputation of being blunt, rude, honest to a point where I would offend you. Like, these were things that people knew.

Like, people would say like, oh, I can't with George. He just thinks he has to tell us what he's feeling at all times, no matter what the consequences are, right? And that pissed people off often. So to then evolve to the big liar, I have friends who are like, I see. still can't get past the like the big okay so you told a couple of lies but if people really knew who you were and i'm not saying this to gain favor i'm just telling you interactions i have but debby who is you know she she's my assistant nowadays she's my executive assistant she runs my whole life shout out to debby uh she's been friends with me prior to that for 15 years she was the one's

like why did you lie what is why you could have done the rags to riches which would have been much better i said i needed to have sports in you and those for the fucking chair And then everything went off the rafters. She's like... Oh, so that was like the McGuffin that started the whole thing. It started with that, and then it just kept... It evolved. I, for one, thank you, a reform man.

And I'm going to stick up for you. But I got one question. George, when I came in, I was wearing a watch. Where did your watch go? You just... Stop! I saw your watch. No, that's bullshit.

That's funny. What is it? Is it a Daytona? It's a Rolex, bitch. It's a Rolex Daytona? Is that what that is? I didn't know. I didn't know the watch.

I didn't wear a Rolex for you. I wear an Omega. You see? I'm a man of the people. Well, you know what? I hate to tell you, but your road may lead back to politics. I don't want to. Maybe.

Yeah, I don't know. No, no. Wholeheartedly, if I run, if I go back into politics, there's a stipulation that my husband has says he will divorce me. And I love them too much to do it. But I feel like you're almost the perfect guy for the post-literal age that we live in. Like, you represent a large portion of America. Liars.

Come on. No, I'm kidding. That's not fair. I'm just saying, maybe I had it backwards. Maybe politics actually you can. I mean, you just look at what goes on and what they say. And, I mean, you defended Trump for not being a lie. Just, it's so casual.

I don't even, most of it didn't even bother me. I just accept it. Like when he says, not on big things, but like he was at his midterm convention in Dallas last week. You saw that, I'm sure. And he said, you know, the place is packed. You could see it wasn't. There are people waiting outside to get in. There was no one outside.

You know, I mean, when you can catch someone in real time, so obviously, it's just like, well, we're obviously living in an age where enough people just don't care. They just don't care. Well, the same thing can be said on both sides. True. I'm not saying that either. It can on both sides. I think, Bill, if I

permission to give you my candid and very crass approach, I think we're pretty good friends by now. They're all full of absolute shit. It is you know, former United States Secretary

of the interior congressman Ryan Zinke from Montana. One of the first things he said to me was literally like George, you see all this. It's all theater. Just remember this. You have one of the best seats in the country.

And you know, Ryan Zinky was somebody I looked up to as like a statement. And when he said that to me, I'm like in the middle of scandal doing, I was just like excuse me, what are we doing? Right.

Like, what? And I witnessed it, vote after vote. Bill, if I tell you, I was forced because you have to vote, you got to pick aside on an issue, right? Yes, no. Present is essentially flushing your vote on the toilet. So you pick aside, right, the less of the two evils. If I tell you the amount of times that the votes were just bullshit messaging bills. That's what John Federman says.

It's all fucking kabuki theater. And at the end of the day, it ends in pizza. You know what that means? You order pizza? Pretty much. Yeah. And nobody cares. Because they will end whatever their michagas is on the floor, go and do their backroom deals.

And the Jeffries and Johnson or Jeffries McCarthy, whichever iteration, Pelosi and whoever, they get together. They smoke cigars, drink scotch, or whatever the fuck it is that they enjoy. And then they ram it down the conference and the caucuses throw and says, this is what we're doing. And like, we're sheep. We go there. Yes. This is what leadership told us to do. Every now and then you'll get a rogue.

I happen to be one of those rogues who would kind of go against the grain. Oh, the scolding. I will never forget. Now, that all brings, like, utter truth to me. And it is exactly what John Federman says. No. I love John Petterman, by the way. I do, too.

I love him. I have told the GOP. I will vote for John Federman. I don't care in which party he is. I don't want him to join the GOP. Which party, whatever party is, I'm voting for John Fetterman. But he, they always get on him for not, he, he misses all these votes and he says, you know what, your votes are bullshit. It's all the thing you were just talking about. And I'm just not going to play your stupid game and like waste my time. It's a waste of time. It's a waste of time. It's a waste of time. It's a waste of an outfit. It's theater. I would get so frustrated. Right. Because I curated all my looks. You play.

So annoying. Plainly the legislative branch. Our system obviously is designed brilliantly. designed so that power is in three different quarters, well, not quarters, thirds, so that nobody can get too powerful. Well, it's so out of whack because the legislative branch just has abdicated the whole thing. It's literally put its legs in the airs and you're just rimming it. Whatever you want, you get out of them. They have no teeth. It's like a bad porn actor who doesn't know what to say when. Like literally, it's that bad. They've been raped, huh? in time again either by the judiciary or the fucking executive.

When does a porn actor say when? That's a great, I don't know why I said that. I don't know what that means. Doesn't the director say? I guess. I don't know. I thought that was, I don't know. That's one of those improv moments where you just say something dumbed. I would like to be on a porn set and watch. You should.

I shouldn't. You should. Why not? I would just like to see how the director, you know, like, okay, you know. I believe it's a very matter of fact in this. I do too. That's what I think in my head adds to me. I think now lick his balls for two.

You know, and then turn it. All right. The problem is I want to know. Lunch. No, my question is, it's like, what do they do to be able to perform? Like, I'm sorry as a man, I'm telling you this. I can't perform if like the window curtain is open. I'm like, close the window.

I can't do this. The people who should actually get all the credit in the world in the porn industry are the ones who did it before Viagra. These guys, the Ron Jeremy's, excuse me, I think he's in trouble with the law, but I mean, like, he had to get a real erection. Now they just take pills.

Is that what it is? What? You're a gay man and you're asking me about Viagra? I don't take Viagra. I'm 38, I don't have that issue. Well, good. A lot of guys that age do. Really? Are you kidding? You know what? I don't think that my friends who probably have ED are going to be like,

hey, George, I have E.D. And I'm thinking Cialis or whatever the case is. I agree. I don't know, but, you know, I mean... That's funny. That's interesting. It definitely is... I think porn is the reason, though, for a lot of ED, if that's the case. There's an addiction element to it and an expectation issue.

So I avoid porn personally in my life because I think porn creates a delusion of expectation of what sex is, and it creates this I will never be able to do. Buddy, I'm not going to put my head. my foot on nobody's neck and fuck them as I do that. Is that what people do? I mean, that's what they, porn is really theatrical. How could you possibly have your foot on their neck and also?

Well, that, trust me, there's fucked up shit that goes on in porn. So that's why I don't consume it because it's just, at a younger age, I think every young man kind of gets through the porn phase, and then you're readily, like, fast, like, yeah, this is not real life. And then you move on to like, all right, let me go figure out how sex is, done. It's just not a healthy environment.

It possibly isn't, but I'm still a young man, so I'm not giving it up. Who's your favorite porn actress? I don't understand why you can't have both. Well, who's your favorite porn actress? Well, I don't get their name. It's not a name thing. I don't write to them. It's not like what I really don't understand is younger men, and there are by the millions, who are on only fans or anything else where they must.

know in a part of their brain that somehow processes some sort of logic and factual material, they must know that maybe they're not even talking to this real girl. And even if they are, she's doing this with like thousands of other guys. And how is this possibly specialty or convince yourself that this is some sort of a girlfriend? And wouldn't your time better be wasted instead of tipping someone over a texting situation to actually like... Or how about hire your local escort. Yes. It's a poor local business.

At least that's a human being. You know, you'd be good at that it's not come down at all. It's really a great show with the great history. Hollywood Squares. That's what you, I think, you'd be the great.

So yeah, make a call. They love a... I'll give you my 10% agent, make the call. They love a good gay center square. Yeah, let's do it. You know. I want to be the next.

Joan Rivers. If you ask me what I want to do, I want to be an absolute asshole with a carte blanche ability to just to do that's you're right. That's great. I wrote the sassiest met gala article for the Daily Mail this year. It had such traction. It I mean culture went nuts over it. I mean, the amount of people who wrote about my article for the Daily Mail and the Daily Mail took a big risk and platforming me and it was a home run. Because, again, I've been doing this thing on social media. I don't know if you've ever seen it. But every year, I criticize the looks of all the desperate bitches on the White House

Correspondents Gala. I've been doing it since 2022. And it's just gotten more and more viral throughout the years. I mean, some of these bitches blocked me on Twitter because they don't want to even see Sunny House and one of them doesn't want to see what I have to say about their outfits. And I really enjoy that because I grew up in the day and day. age and era of fashion police with John Rivers. Your situation...

And it's fun. Little dress banter. Your situation is completely irreparable, I believe. I appreciate that. No, because... Generally, because I know you would have bullshit me. You didn't like... I would not. Because you didn't kill anybody, right?

No. That we know of it. No, I didn't. Okay. Not. And, I mean, if you're like... You know, again, my watch is... Your watch is there.

Stop. Stop it. Okay, I'm sorry. That's not going to stick. I don't have sticky fingers. I have a very creative imagination, not sticky fingers. Even if you, you know, kind of grifted or embezzled or something from, there were probably some rich fucks who had it coming. It wasn't like you took it out of the mouths of, you know, starving orphans or anything, did you?

No. Look, I like to, this is something I like to square away. because there's a, and I'll strike a serious tone for a second. I don't want to be serious because this is not the environment. I'm putting the joint down. There is this perception out there that I committed aggravated identity theft, that I stole credit cards and I went on shopping sprees. I heard that.

That's not true. Another one we got to. Let's hear this story. And I gave the facts. I was accused of going to Ramesz, Farragamo, and Tiffany and co. And spending all this money. Good taste. Well, it's funny, though.

Did you know that I bought 22 ties from Farragamo? You know how they do little animals on their ties, Farragamo? They have those little birds, elephants, whatever. I bought... I have this shirt with the lizard. What is that? That's the cost. Anyway, so Farragamo makes these ties with little elephants, red and blue.

Really? Yes. It's a very... Ferragamo does this? It's very... It's their thing. It's so corny that it's him. It's hip, it's cute.

It adds fun. It sounds awful, but okay. No, no, it's actually very tastefully done. It adds, I guess. Elephants, you say. Elephants, dogs, you name it, fish. Animals. Whatever.

It's animals in general print. Sometimes it's like, I don't know, balls, like sports balls or like football, soccer balls, tennis balls. But the point is they had just had a collection. I'm a big Farragamo client. I wear a lot of Farragamo. It's my favorite brand. It's very aspirational.

It fits in my budget, essentially. Right? So I buy for, so when you get elected to Congress, you have to now go lappy the steering committee, which is a group of like 26, if I'm not mistaken, including the speaker, who get to vote on where members serve, which committees. I going in, I was a superstar. I flipped the Biden plus 10 seat. I won by eight. Right. It was a 16 point swing. I won by eight and a half points. Nassau County. Nassau County. Nassau County. So.

I grew up in the area, you know. Really? New Jersey, yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. I grew up in Jersey. I really thought you were from California. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't do my research. Shame on me. No, no, no. I went to school at Cornell, upstate New York. Oh, nice. Lived in New York twice. What a shit. Whole Cornell turned out to be. We're talking. You wouldn't be allowed to take classes a couple of years ago if you were Jewish. God. So anyway. So awful.

So what we do is we put together a packet. Here's why I should be in such and so committee. I wanted to be on foreign affairs and on financial services. worked in finance-adjacent sector for years in private equity. And I'm fluent in three languages outside of English. So I thought foreign affairs would be a perfect fit. And it's my passion. I enjoy foreign affairs. I enjoyed international policy and all of that stuff. So...

They're Brazilian. That was my inn, right? So I lobbied for that. You create a package and you give a gift. It's a bribe, right? But it's a gift. I went to Ferragamo, and I bought 22 ties for the men. right you know red elephant ties

gop elephant on the nose you really think these fucking shit kickers are going to appreciate saragam some of them did because they all used to getting these bribes he has got a fucking donkey on that's gonna look real good with my boots so that was one and then for the women i went to ermaz and i bought there was only two women in the

in the steering committee elis stephanic and kathy mcmorris rogers i bought them uh uh a little, like, silk square, like, that they can tie around their neck with elephants. Can't go wrong with a scarf. A scarf always works. You cannot. And I bought a ballpoint pen, red point, ballpoint pen from Tiffany for the women.

So that's those purchases. They said I went on shopping sprued splurges. I proved this to the ethics committee and the DOJ. But they insisted in saying that that was a misuse of campaign funds. That's covered. At least for me, it wasn't, right? And I put out receipts. I've showed the proof.

Some members actually went on the house floor and voted to fucking expel me wearing the tie I gave them. Okay? That's the irony of the situation. So that's kind of, that's the embezzlement. That's the credit card that people say I stole money from my campaign. My crime that I wholeheartedly own up to is I straw donated to my campaign. I took money, gave to my campaign, and because I want to look more impressive, instead of showing the loan, because they had already loaned

a shit ton of money to my campaign. I said, just put down my family members and a couple of friends. And they sprinkled a few friends in there. That's fucking identity theft. You're not supposed to do that. That's my crime bill.

That's literally the crux of the crime. And have other people done that? Yes. Nobody's ever been federally indicted that's resolved usually with the FEC, the Federal Elections Commission. Oh, is that right? And it's a big fine and, you know,

shame on you. I went to prison for seven and a half year sentence, which was wild. What was prison like? Awful. I'm sure. When people tell you, oh. Just not having your freedom.

It's a country club. It's a camp. First of all, I was in prison. No, prison is not a country club. Even the best. They said it's a run-down country club. I'm like, not even the, and I've been to run-down country clubs.

That's all I could afford. So I can tell you it's not. Was it, I hope it wasn't violent. No, not at all. I will say this. It wasn't violent. It was violently mismanaged by a cunt warden. Did you meet anyone?

No. I wasn't there long enough for that. I'm just going to go ahead. My husband visited me every weekend, okay? Do you get gay? No, you don't get conjugal visits in federal prison. Did the heterosexuals? No, not even, not in federal.

But if they have conjugal, did the gay get it to? Yeah, everybody. So long as you're married, I guess, that's the rule. My prison experience was very bad. I was there for 23 days, and then the warden put me in solitary confinement under... What did you do? I did nothing. It was under depressive.

He's starting fights in the yard. No, not. I was in the kitchen. They were fighting over you. That's it. Oh, yeah. My milk trick brings all the boys to the yard. And they've never seen milk chink like mine in prison.

Oh, my God, what am I saying? I think I'm contacted high already. Jesus, right? No, this is the exact kind of thing you should be doing. Oh, my goodness. You're good at this. Actually, I don't think there's any bullshit that happened today. Well, I have no reason to you.

you told me, I, it just, like, I can tell, I can tell when someone's lying. I have no reason to lie. It serves me no problem. You got it all out of your system. For a lifetime, I hope. I think the only lies I'm going to reserve now are for my kids. Your campaign slogan, I'm due for the truth. I would run on that one.

It's time for the truth. That's my campaign slogan. You know, it's funny, I told, I told my sister this. Like I'm going to reserve all the lying I have left in my life for my kids when I'm in a store. We'll buy it later. You have kids? We're in the process of... A process.

You know you can't get pregnant. Surgacy, yeah. We're doing surrogacy. No, I knew that. Sure you did. Well, nowadays they talk about pregnant men. Oh, stop. I know.

That's mental illness. Right, that is. See, this is, I mean, and look, it's good that the Republican Party would have somebody who is gay and can make this case, the way Andrew Sullivan does, who is center right slightly, but, you know, is barely center right. I'd say, I think Andrew's more center. Yeah. He's, you know, we don't agree on Israel, but everything else, I think he's just so brilliant.

And it's, it's, isn't it Israel become a wedge issue? It's so crazy. I can't even, I mean. I lose my mind. I mean, look, you're talking to the guy who lost his mind. Do you remember my, like, meltdown in the halls of Congress over the guy. who caught when i was holding a staffer's baby in a costume yes and i melted like i don't understand what what's controversial about michael jackson once came out of and held his baby over about in

berlin i remember that i remember that i remember that he came out of the balcony or was that paris i don't know berlin yeah no which which kid was it was it shiloh or paris i i i don't know blanket sorry i don't know it was wild but he dangled the baby over the With his frail grip. Because it could slip. He was so frail. No, I mean, thank God they never got him anything else with kids. That was his one dark mark with him and children.

Other than that perfect record. No, it is amazing. I don't think he was guilty of sexually molesting kids. I really don't. Seriously. Again, at this age, I can tell who's a liar. These kids are not, these men now, are not. lying. I've, based on everything that I've consumed, I kind of buy into the, it was a money grab.

I really do. I did buy into that. You were an adult as this was unfolding, so you probably had a better... It's come on, man. Did you watch the movie, Michael? Yeah. His nephew looks just like him in it. It's crazy. I blame Joe for everything. I blame Joe for everything. Oh, Joe is a monster. They depicted him too nice in this movie. I mean, everything at all. AI. I blame him for global. level warming. And not just Michael, I mean, this guy was like, he was like the... Like Lex Luthorne. Exactly.

Like, that is who the Spider-Man, whoever, should go up against. Yeah. Is Joe Jackson. He just, and the real Joe Jackson, even worse than the brilliant performance by Coleman Domingo, right? Yeah. I mean, but the real one, even worse, even creepier. Coleman Domingo did his great job.

Yeah, he did. Amazing. He was a better Joe Jackson than the one from the original Jackson 5 movie. What's the original? The first movie that they did about Michael Jackson's life. What's the name of the actor who plays his father? I don't remember.

Like in the 90s, they did a Jackson 5 movie. They did? They did. I can't remember the name of the dad in that movie. But that was before the unpleasantness. Yes. And I noticed this movie stops just before the accusations. Well, I think there's a part two that they have to.

That movie leaves me. in a cliff hangar. No one wants to see part two. No one wants to see part. I do. Yeah. I want to see how they depict it. I want to see how the family estate depicts it.

Well. Notice how they also left Janet Jackson out of this movie. Why? I don't know. I'm just saying she's not in this movie. She is not? No, LaToya is. They don't talk about, Janet doesn't exist in this new movie.

I got a great idea for you. You should do a show. Like, you know, the Fox Show of the Five? Yeah? Or the view? I love the five. Really? Love the five.

Love the view, too. I do. I do. I think the format, I haven't been on either, but, well, the five doesn't do guests. And the view, the opportunity to go on was not the right timing when they insistently asked me. And then Whoopi Gober said that was a lie. And then I had to go post all the emails online and say, like, you're lying. I received, I think, seven or eight very insistent emails trying to book me on the view.

It wasn't the right time, but I love the format because it gives dialogue, debate, and that's what I love. I think we don't all have to agree, Bill, I would be bored out of my mind and put a bullet in my head if everybody became symbiotic and agreed on everything. Life would be so fucking boring. I'd probably be drunk half of the time just so I can, like, forget that it was so perfect. So I like debate, the expression of thought and having a conversation like this where we don't have to agree. I was in an airplane today. Billy Porter was in the plane, the actor. I'm a big fucking fan.

What was this, Air Gay? Delta Airlines is as close as Air Gay as it gets. I think all the gays love Delta for some reason. There's just a lore that it's apparently the best airline, best in class. My fucking first class, the seat didn't recline properly. The Wi-Fi was out. I let you get to get it to be. I'll let you finish this story, but I gotta tell you, like, before you came here, like, I heard all these things, including, like, he says he's gay.

And I was like, I don't know if he, I think he just said it because that was, like, what would work in the election. They'll get the Democrats to vote for him. And now that I meet you, it's like, Charles Nelson Riley, which I mean is a compliment. Warhol is straight close to me, right? It's like, not just gay, but, like, really good for show business. I appreciate him. Better than Andy Cohen? You should say yes. Please say yes. Say better than Andy Cohen.

I like Andy. But say better than Andy Cohen, just so it can piss him off. I don't want to piss him. He hates me. Really? Oh, he hate it. Well, then I hate that. But you should do a show with Anne Coulter.

I would put a bullet in my head. Really? I find her to be the most miserable cramudgeon on television. You'd like her if you'd actually party with it. She hates me because she's friends with a kid called Ryan Grudusky. She's obsessed. with him hates all the other gays. She can only have one gay at a time in her life.

She's probable. Anyway, so, like, she'd do a show like the five with, like, the most, like, outcast people. And Coulter? That'd be funny. You should produce it. But not... But people who are

they're outcast, but... Anne Coulter, I mean, she does say some things that are, like, out there, from my way... She's very intelligent. Very intelligent. Very intelligent. And very often, She literally, like, you know, she just is... You know, I am stealing this cop. I don't care what you say.

Yeah, absolutely. You should. Club random. I'm going to drink out of my scotch out of this. I want you to have it. But, like, a show like the Five, but gayer, you know, like just the real raw sort of... I mean, that's not what the View is doing. The View is, like, super woke.

Like, stultifying. And the Five is a little stiff. Five is a little stiff. It's corporate. There could be a show like that. It would be huge. It would be huge. And it would just be like, do this.

You know, a lot of laughing. A lot of just like, this is what I really think. I don't care who knows it. People who have nothing to lose because they've already been canceled within an inch of their life. Yeah. That is a freedom. I say that I have a freedom that most wish they had. I have no secrets left, Bill.

Right. Nothing left to hide. I can really operate in transparency at all times without the fear of, I mean, the worst things that could have ever come out about my life came out. I mean, I did carnival at the age of 18 in Brazil, dressed in drag, and all of a sudden people gave me a career as a drag queen. So I'm just like, and that's pretty embarrassing as a Republican. And I'm not embarrassed. I had fun. I was 18 years old. As I said to TMZ, assume I was fun and had, I was young and had fun at a festival at LaGuardia Airport when they pressed me on it. But back to my thing.

I'm in the airplane. Billy Porter is like three or four seats behind me. I'm a massive fan of American Horror Story, and he is so great in American Horror Story. Right, sure. Him, Angela Bassett, these are, like, people I really look up to. I'm a fan, right? Angela Bassett's my favorite actress.

I love her. When people ask me, who's your favorite actress, Angela Bassett? Top of the law, I don't care. There's no one that, maybe at Angelina Jolie second, whatever. But... Angelina Jolie. I love her. Really?

I love her. I think she's so... And her dad's so great to me. I love her dad. He's a great man. I know that there's issues there. No, no. Oh, John Voit, you mean?

John Voit, yeah, I absolutely love him. He's such a good guy. I mean, he's not my politics exactly, but, you know, I'd love to talk to him. You should. I like to. We've invited him. I want him. He's super fun.

I mean, I've been in his presence a couple of times. Tell him, tell him to come here. I'm not friends with him. Right, I know. If I haven't in, I'll try my best. But my point is, I wanted to approach Billy. Like, I genuinely wanted to approach Billy. I'm like, I'm a fan.

I want to say, hi, I love your work. But our difference in politics is so stark that I'm afraid. And then I think I could be wrong, right? But we cross paths in the, like, going to the bathroom coming back. He hissed at me. Like, and he has this thing about where he does like, like, like, like, and I'm like, did he hiss at me or did he smile at me? And I don't know.

And I'm just like, this was an interesting interaction. Maybe it was a flirtatious. I know. Not coming from him for me. No, thank you. I know it's not. So, I mean, and that's what saddens me that we've become so divided a society that we can't have conversations with people who politically disagree with us,

but we can have conversations galore on A to fucking Z. And we pick P for politics every time. There's like 26 letters in the alphabet, and we pick one every time. All right. Here's what we do. First of all, we've got to everybody, not just you and I, we all have to, like, work on this project of making this ostracism that the left engages in uncool. It is uncool. It is uncool. It's super uncool. It's super intolerant. It's super everything they think they hate and they're supposed to hate. Canceling. Cancel culture is uncool. It's so mean girls. You can't sit at mind. Don't compare it to mean girls because mean girls is so great.

Okay. Everybody has a bird book. I have a bird book. So the cover of my bird book is Kevin McCarthy. But George, no, you're not going to- You're not going to like this part, but... Please tell me. All right, we've got to get your trainer. We're going to, we're going to fucking give you a makeover because you're a nice-looking guy.

Let's go. I got to lose weight. I'm so fast. Exactly. I'm so fat. I call Terry Debrot and I said, I need to transform myself. You know who you are? Tell me.

You're Chris Pratt. He was like this slubby guy, but you could see underneath. So hot, though. You could see underneath. He's got, he could be a handsome. I look hot like Chris Pratt after a transformation. I'll just go fuck myself literally. All right.

Well, that's not part of my plan. Okay, you get all buffed up and chiseled. You're a nice looking guy. You can pull this off. Oh, let's do it. And then these fucking hypocrites who are shunning you because of your policy, suddenly find a way to forgive you for it. I guarantee that'll have.

Well, isn't that the same thing with Chris Pratt and Matt Damon? Because there aren't they some? somewhat conservative or viewed as conservative in media, and they have a little shit, but they still do great work. Why? Because they're fuckable. If you're fuckable and you're a conservative,

they still might give you a chance. I don't think he's a conservative. He's married to a Kennedy. Who? Chris Pratt. Yeah, but he was married to, what's her name? The comedian.

Yeah, she's fantastic. She's in the... Anna Farris. I think she's fantastic. He's fantastic. He's so hot. He's so hot. I watch his movie just because I think he's hot.

I watch his movie. earlier this year. That should be, you should Mercy. Did you watch that? I think I know where it was in theaters earlier this year. Yeah, he was the AI judge. Yes, the AI judge.

That actress, too, she's phenomenal. She's in Silo for Apple. Oh my god, I'm obsessed with her. That's my guilty pleasure. Silo, because I love dystopian. So you put a picture on your wall of Chris Pratt. Oh, God. And it's like that's what you.

And as soon as that, I'm telling you, that's what's going to happen. All right, I got to go. because it's still a work night. I appreciate it. This was so much fun. Thank you so much. Thank you.

George, my watch. If you could show you. If you had your watch. Oh, I do. I'm sorry. I'm just going to say, before I leave, if you could just put it back. You can have mine.

Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, that was so much fun. That was fun. Oh, my God. Giving you a lot to think about. I appreciate it. May I on mic? Yes.

All right.