Club Random with Bill Maher - Jeff Ross | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

Bill Maher and comedy legend Jeff Ross randomly riff on why comedy is hard in Paris, the Olsen Twins love of comedy, the need for guns in America, Bill’s movie pitch starring Jeff as a badass, Jeff���s very special Rodney Dangerfield artifact that Bob Saget left to him, Jeff’s London tour with Chris Rock and Dave Chapelle, Bill’s surprising take on the Will Smith slap and how Jeff is afraid on stage, how the U.S. military is the biggest corporation in the world, and Jeff’s deep reverence for being a comedian. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms.

I have such great memories of our time in Hawaii and we're gonna do it again. It's so awesome. You're the first two timer on my tour. It's gonna be great. Brought back by Poppulistimann. What do you drink? I usually drink a little tequila on the ride. Great, I have it right here.

Are you gonna drink? Of course. It's not only five o'clock somewhere, it's actually five o'clock here. Okay. Because we tape, like we're a show at the traditional talk show hour, I'm sure when you first did your first tonight show or whatever, there is something about us

who are always working at night. And now we show up and it's California. So it's like blazing hot sun. There is something about us who are always working at night. Right. And now we show up and it's California. So it's like blazing hot sun. There's something it's off. I'm not funny in daylight. You remember you from Hawaii? Well, of course we were hot.

Vacation. But it's outside and it's still light when you're performing on the summer. You're like going at 8 o'clock and it's your outside and it's like, it's hard. Do I have to wear a sunblock to do a set? It's something wrong with it. Yeah, I never, I always always like, I never understand morning radio people who are like,

yeah, I do, like nothing's funny to me early in the morning. I need coffee and some, you know, I need a few hours before. What do you want with the tequila. That's good on the rocks. Just straight. Yeah. She's a snippet. Fuck what a man. Okay. Well then pull up the glass. Well. Oh my goodness. You drink liquor. Steve, you've always done that. What are we in the old west? You just have a glass of whiskey? Just sip it. I'll sip it. This would take me four days to drink all this. Oh, okay. And it's good, buddy.

It's been too long. Yeah. Well, you're always on the road. Yeah. I'm leaving again tomorrow. You're always with your little crew of Chappelle. This week I'm heading to Europe with a... Europe.

Chappelle and Chris Rock. Do they speak English? They know. They learned English from watching American comedy. I played Europe in 2015. I did that. Well, you certainly cannot play Paris. I have.

Paris? Not you have to play a smaller venue than you would in the States. Paris. I do it. I did it. It takes balls because they... I did Paris in January. And not only did they...

There's a language barrier. They're wearing masks. And they're snobs. So all of that works against you. This is before COVID, they were wearing masks. I was there. I was there. I was there.

I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there. I was there when I said, I was not the ladies and gentlemen, but it's like magic. It's like magic. Like you finished the joke and then they clap. Like you did a trick. They don't really laugh along. Well, you kind of did. Yeah.

So how many people were in this venue that you played? In Paris? Yeah. Well, it was Chappelle. So we did like five nights and like a thousand seats. Oh, I see. You know, in an English speaking country, he'll play arenas. Right.

But in Paris, he just wanted to go for fashion week. So we did it. Wow. You know, humble comics, huh? It's just being fashion week, you know? So we can get some material that everyone in the audience can relate to when we get home. So that's good to some new material. I got to think about how the ketchup bottle always sticks and then when you run into the same bottles every fashion week.

But when any Murphy... We had the Olsen twins and Kanye and all the big designers came to the shows and... The Olsen twins. They're big and fashion, so... Oh, because I thought certainly not in comedy. They love comedy because some of my bad guys know. I know, I've done it. I was, you said it in the same breath as the comics.

I'm like, really? And then there's some special improv. Bring up the fucking Olsen twins. They're very good sports. They've been in the comedy story. Well, they better be many. Yeah, they're not funny. You want some dope? You see a little locate? I'll smoke some pot. Or maybe you've had a lot of pot. Not yet, but let's take it into this joint. Then I kind of

put it. It's not pot. It's a clove cigarette. That's not pot. Oh, I see. You know, this. We're in California. We're on the air in lots of states. Here, one of the first celebrities to talk about We're on the air in lots of states. Here's one of the first celebrities to talk about smoking that you smoked pot. I smoked it on the show, real pot, before it was legal, even in California, one night. And that's when I knew that the jig was kind of up with pretending that we are a country that can live

with prohibition, because people called, I remember Larry David called me the next day and people were like, you know, are you sure you're not gonna get arrested? I was like 10 years ago or something. And I was like, I doubt it, but you know, if they do, they'll be embarrassed. Not me.

And that's the attitude I've taken ever since then, and I think it's on the money. Do you think one day the gun states will attack the pot states? It seems like they're not the same states necessarily. Oh, I don't know about that. Didn't they just run over the pot states? Well, this is a gun and pot household. Okay. You're not?

I don't have any guns. Why? I guess I would if it was easy. I'm just afraid I'm just afraid it'll get turned on me somehow. Well, that's such a bad attitude. Why? Because, you know, you're letting the worst possible

Because you're letting the worst possible event guided by the actions of the least capable people guide what you want to do. It's sort of the same argument they very often use about drugs. We can't have drugs because people will out-dee. Yes, some people will, but we couldn't have any, we shouldn't organize life around what the least capable,

stupidest people do with something. So, you know, you're not gonna, should a school up. And, you know, if you're attacked in your, or in your house is invaded, you know, wouldn't your rather level the playing field rather than somebody being able to have you out there utter mercy? How hard is it to get a gun in California? I mean, I don't remember.

I've had mine for a while. I mean, I remember it was paperwork and waiting. It was definitely, I don't know if the laws have changed, but I don't think they got any easier. You can't leave with it. No, I certainly, remember that story that was on Sunset LA Guns? Yeah. Not there anymore, but I think it was popular

and I think I remember as a popular tattoo. You know, people got LA Guns. It may have somebody to do with the naming of guns and roses. I don't know. But a band like that. But, yes, and there's a band. So did you train? Yeah, I've had training.

I actually had a, you know, went out with a guy on the place and, you know, go through. It was just like one day, but that way you can get it in one day. Now, should you brush up? Yes, you should. Absolutely. There's no reason why gun ownership shouldn't be like any other kind of license you would get to fly a plane that you just don't walk in and start flying a plane.

You have to... Well, it does occur to me. I'm okay with that. It does occur to me that I have a German Shepherd I can't control so that's more of a liability that a gun I can control You mean you shoot the dog? No, I mean oh if I have an intruder Yeah, the dog sometimes doesn't know if they're supposed to be there or it's just my buddy coming over without noggin Well, what kind of dog is this shepherd?

Well the shepherd's are smart. If the shep, if you haven't gotten a shepherd up to that point, that's, that's, that's on the owner. Oh, yeah. Because that's what, it's like, that's what they do. Your dog is probably looking at you. Like, I'm a fucking shepherd. Train. Just give me a little direction. And I can handle this. But nothing, you know, just like, well, first of all, they would smell the fear on you. Especially you without a gun would be shitting your pants. They'd smell shit, they love shit. And then they would know, but you know, it's not hard for human bad guys to disable the

dog. I have dogs too. Well, of course, they're old and not. They were not going to hurt anybody at the beginning, but they can make a racket. That's what I like dogs for. So that if someone breaks in, I know so long before they get to my bedroom. You know, I have plenty of time to prepare myself. They would have to break down a few different doors. The dogs wouldn't be barking, you know,

but they can kill a dog pretty easy. Right. I do feel safer with the dog around, but there are times, you know, because I mean so many weirdos, when you talk shit for a living like me. Right. But I'm not, I don't feel like I want the gun at home.

I guess it would be good at home, but I want it when I'm like, that's so hard at midnight. And I hope I'm not a little on with this, but you're a very attractive man. I would worry about rapists who people, men, mostly, but anyone who might want to rape you, you know. You never know, I am.

Possibly with an object or something, if it's a woman, it's like, I gotta have Jeff Ross. But I want him to know who's boss, you know. So get the gun, again, that's my rationale for running it. So you have a pistol. They are, yes, they do not have a AR-15 or anything like that. Although I understand why people like that gun. It's a very good gun for like shooting something across the room if they're, you know, come into your bedroom or something. I'm sure, like, I'm

not, I've said this many times, I'm a gun owner, I'm not a gun lover, I compare them to antibiotics. I don't, ever want to use antibiotics. But I'm glad they exist in the world. It's like that. But I don't, you know, polish my Moxicillin, you know? I don't have a Moxicillin, but if I did, I wouldn't polish it, you know? I should call your gun a Moxicillin.

Yeah, I just, I'm a ass. Yeah, right, right on the moxie. Yeah. So, you know, I'm not trying to sell you on guns, although it gets a cut, it sounds like I am. But I get the safety part. And you know, we both have a lot of property here. Somebody could come over a fence next door and then to your fence or whatever. Let me tell you something. This neighborhood where it is will go unannounced although people can find anybody anywhere, but we might as well make it easy for them.

But it's a nice area. I'll just say that. And there's many home invasions have been in recent years in this area. You know, I mean, it's a little willy-sutton, you know, why'd you rob banks? That's where the money is. You know.

Well, there was a terrible, terrible thing that happened not too far from here, not too long ago. Yes, absolutely. Somebody buy it and come to somebody. Yes, absolutely. Well, that happened to be someone with fame, so we heard about it, but it happens to many people. I mean, probably not tons, but, you know, it does happen.

Home invasions do happen. And when they do, you know, who are you dealing with? Someone who is willing to invade your home is not someone I want to trust, you know what I mean? I've always dated too many crazy women to have a gun or a rots. Holy fuck, you don't have a gun to get you're afraid of the women who date or no seriously. That's interesting.

Not anymore. No, no, no, I'm good. Don't leave it like out neck on the bureau. Don't leave it where she like takes off her makeup before she goes, you know, don't leave it where she, like takes off her makeup before she goes, you know, you can lock it away. You know, are you so intimate that they have to know the whereabouts of you? No, no, no, I guess I was speaking a little silly. I'm not, I, I, I'll reconsider. It would be nice to have a one more layer of security.

would be nice to have a one-more layer of security. And I'm up in there. I'm up in though, it's very woodsy where I live. So I wouldn't even hear anyone pull out. I think it, yeah. Yeah, I know, you know, the, the, well, I'm a black belt in karate. So I always, you do. So I always felt like I could always defend myself.

You have a black belt in karate. I got it when I was 10 and a half, but yes. Do you still practice it? Yeah. You do. Yeah. You're a black belt, and have that? You didn't know that?

Take Juan Doe. I'm blown away. When I grew up in Newark, New Jersey, that we had no fizz at in my school as a poor neighborhood, and my mother dragged me against my will to the House of Empty Hands, Karate Dojo, on Boxhole Road in Newark, where Newark police detectives taught me, take Juan Do, Karate, and learn nunchucks, and learn self-defense, learn how to take care of myself and anybody I'm with.

You know, now that you're a chrome dome with the mustache, you know, and it looked like in pretty good shape, you know, and it looked like a pretty good shape. You know, you could be like that bad ass. You could have a bad ass movie franchise where you like roast the guy before you kill them. What? I love this. I know. I feel like I just had a flashback to like when I was 19 when you smoked pot. Like this is a great idea. Yeah right. And then tomorrow we'll look at that and we'll be like, what a minute. I like it.

An action star. Yeah, it could be grossy Harry. It makes my day get a haircut. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's it practically writes itself. I mean, it's only one subway stop past where lots of action stars were always giving the one liner

before the death moment. Like, you know, I know Schwarzenegger would be hanging a guy over a mountain and then, you know, tell him that way and then the girl would say, what happened to me? I'm gonna let him go. Oh, I'm gonna give you actually let him go or you know Before he shot him. He'd say something to the guy. Yeah, it's always a wedding. Yeah, it's always some, you know I'm like Vin Diesel if he were neither fast nor furious. I guess you were in too deep

He were neither fast nor furious. I guess you were in too deep. I'm gonna work on this idea, I like it. I like it too. People always tell me, when man, you gotta cut me in. You were in, baby. Well, right in the way. Right.

I'm serious. I'm serious, I'm just doing stone. So, look at, again, I always. You're in a chair? Oh, I'm so, I did bring it's just stone. So, again, I always... You can share? Oh, I'm so... I did bring something. That's so rude. I did bring something while we're talking about weed.

Maybe this is the time to do it. That's the problem before you light it up. No, please. Hold on. What is that? Oh, you got some... I brought this because I thought it would be cool. A little box.

This was a gift. Oh, the cameras can see this. I hugged the cameras. Like, what is this? My friend Bob Sagitt's family gave me this a couple months ago. Oh. This was given to him by Dangerfield. This was Rodney's Hot Pipe.

That went to Bob Sagitt? They went to Bob. And now it's yours? Yeah, wow, so I thought and If I'm ever feeling blue I'll put on some Rodney and smoke out of this that's That is that is Boy, we've lost so many comedians lately Gilbert Rob Ron Zimmerman Ron Zimmerman with Kevin Rooney, great guy. Will Smith. I got to tell you something. I had not seen the movie that he won the Oscar for, King Richard,

at the time of the Oscars. I knew what it was. I just got in around to it. Okay. I was interested. So I just watched it. It's so good. And he's so great in it. And Wilson Smith was always, in my view, a fantastic movie star. One of the best. But movie star. But not so many who I thought of as a great actor. Not bad. It got through the material. But you know, he's not playing parts that are demanding. He's a movie star, which the world needs more than fucking actors, by the way. Right, right. Please, more movie stars, less actors.

But in this movie, what an amazing acting performance, where you don't see the acting, that's why it's so great. I mean, he is astounding. Best movie, really, about race, maybe ever, in my view, that's why it's okay. I mean, he is astounding. Best movie really about race, I'm maybe ever, in my view, the way it gets at it. And you watched it after the... I just haven't even finished it. I'm like in the last...

I mean, wow. It's fantastic. And he's a... I'm not saying I excuse this slap now, but I totally get why he was in such an emotional state, playing that character. And he, like, I think a word shows are stupid and horrible. And you can't say who best actor, because there's many people playing different parts. They'd have to each play each other's parts to really judge this.

It's all opinion anyway. But among the things that were the best acting of that year, certainly there's no argument that why not that one? He was magnificent. And so I get why he was, okay, why he chose to splatter for the end of the day. And it didn't do the role the day of the Oscar. No, but it was probably a year before that he shot it. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

That was what was suffused into his mind and his emotions that day. You go into the Oscars. He wasn't that far back in his life that he couldn't remember it. I'm sure it was still very raw. And I mean, the tears, I totally get all that. Now, again, I do. As a comedian, I totally get all that now. Again. I do.

As a comedian, I don't give him this much. No, I'm not excusing this lap. I'm just saying, I get why he was crazy emotional and he did this lap deserve the Oscar. I'm just saying. And it's a, yeah. So it just put more perspective on that whole thing, which if you were in the audience, go ahead, I didn't mean to go. At the time I saw it, I only had a less fully dimensional understanding of this situation.

And having seen the movie, I get why the guy was, I said it, but no, it doesn't excuse you. It's just a crazy way to express yourself. But you know, as I always say, stars, they're not like us. They just aren't. They just got, and I'm... He crossed a sacred thing when you go on to a stage.

The stage is sacred. Yes. Since then, Chappelle got tackled. Yes. Yeah. Salmon Rushdie. Yes. Sweetheart, I Salmon rusty. Yes. Sweetheart, I'm all over this issue.

So we're gonna have to know that. We're gonna have some security in Hawaii. Um, well I know I travel with someone. But yeah, we can. I mean, are you really afraid like that? I'm afraid on stage. Let's travel with guns. Especially going on with you, America, Korean.

I take Korean. No. We's travel with guns. Especially going on with you, America. Take a career in. No. We don't want to have the gun. I like the podcast because you don't have any audience members to throw out. Exactly. Just us here, sweetie. No. Cheers, buddy.

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In minimum age and eligibility, restrictions apply, C show notes for details. I am so looking forward to this. Now that I'm getting a little taste of Jeff Ross because we haven't seen you in such a long time. Now I wish that the trip was starting tomorrow. That's going to be something to look forward to. Yeah.

You know, we've had so many amazing people like the year Joe Walsh went and he performed with Eddie Vetter and didn't you jam with Eddie? That was the greatest new year's. Right. We did the show in whatever island that was. And then Woody and his wife. Honolulu. Honolulu.

I cannot allow you. And Woody said, let's go to Eddie. You were all going to Eddie Vedder's house. Yes, it's a plan. But Woody takes me in the back of his little car, some non-just some regular ass Volvo or something. Woody, Haroldson. What's not there?

You're conflating. You're a stoner. Woody's on the other island. He came. He did? He came over. He came to your show and he drove us. And we, or he drove me.

We all go to, uh, I don't remember that. We go to Eddie's house for the party, Spade, you, me, some other friends. Oh, yeah, David Spade was there. And I have a great picture of the four of us doing like a four-stugias type thing. Oh, you know, we do that every year.

It's the greatest. It's the greatest. And, and, yes, with the heads of one on top of each other. I had done a guitar bit. Yeah. Using, I think I borrowed one of Eddie's guitars during for the show. So that night at the, as we're counting down the new year, he says, we ever showed him, or what guitar are you going to play?

I said, I guess I can't do that bit. I don't have a guitar with me. And he gave me a guitar, which I still have in Cherry. I remember that moment. Yeah. Right. Well, he's the greatest human that Eddie you had there. So I'm not surprised. He's generous like that.

Crazy. I mean, we're in a gift war and I'm always losing. He's a super cool guy. You ever get any gift war with him? I don't get any gift war with him. Yeah. Jimmy Kimmel, who gave me this. That, right. Now that's gift war to the 10th, because fuck, right.

How are you gonna match that? Something grown in the backyard. Right, no. That's Rodney's fucking pot life. This is different, this is the weed. This is from the Sagitt girls. From Kelly. I didn't know that Bob was that close to Rodney

that he would get his- Bob would tell lots of Rodney stories. And apparently Rodney had two pipes. He gave one to Bob and he gave one to Jim Carrey. And I didn't know this. I happened to tell Jim Carrey. I had this and he goes, hold on a second. And he went down to his room and he showed me

he has a very similar pipe. Wow. You want to take a hit? Um, yes. It's I do. Be careful, don't drop it. It's very valuable to me. I'll lay it for you.

Oh, wait, I ain't going to lie to you. This is very exciting. Because I remember Robert Klein telling me how much he would always be covering for Rodney in airplanes and places when he was doing drugs. Like he would have to, you know, doing cocaine and like this is, you know, an aisle six of T.W.A.S. and he- Hey, I'll tell you. Oh, my- Okay, I'll tell you. Mark.

Okay, that's not working. I haven't smoked a pint. Hey, Bill Mark. No, I know why lions eat that young. Hey, my wife's a terrible cook. Yeah. Yeah, my house would pray after you. Yeah. I say, I feel all right now.

Well, last week I was in row shape. Well, last week my wife told me she's only having sex with me once a week. She said, what? She said, hey, some guys, I cut out old again. I tell you, but the AIDS now I get sexually satisfied when I squeeze into a parking place. When he would do Carson,

he would do like the six minutes. That's it over. Oh yeah, I'm so sorry. He would do like his six minutes and then he would sit on the couch and do another six minutes, and Carson would say like three words. He just said, he said,

no, this is what I do, stand up comedy. I can be sitting when I'm doing it, but I'm just gonna do it It's gonna be more interesting than you know, hey, I hear you Like farting Boy I tell you Fun is hard work. Yeah, we're gonna have fun in Hawaii this year, like Elvis, do you see that movie?

I haven't seen it. Not interested? Not interested? No, I'll see it. Right now I'm binging something else, which I think you would love. What? The Danny Boyle Sex Pistols thing on Hulu. What? Oh God. Sex Pistols thing on Hulu. What?

Oh God. Sex Pistols. That's punk rock. Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols wrote a book and Danny Boyle, who did train spotting in Slumdog Millionaire, he made a mini series out of it about the early days of punk rock in London. Punk rock is so cool. Punk rock is.

You should love, you're a punk rocker. I am not. Yeah, you're not the music. I know, but your attitude has always been a punk rock attitude. Is that right? I believe that. Well, the things I like about you. Well, then send me the lyric sheets because the music sucks.

I never thought... And then I'll keep you in the UK. Okay, great. And by the way, Anarchy is stupid. So, you know, the idea of being pro-Anarchy immediately not respecting your work. If you're a 19-year-old, yes.

Okay, well that's why we shouldn't let 19-year-olds control the ideas. All right, you're right. The sex pistol suck. I don't like the sex pistol. You're right. Maybe they have other attributes. They just started something that spawned modern. They started something that sucked more.

They started something more. They're all like the clash on the Ramones? No, no, punk rock. We're talking about three chords. I think I know what punk rock is. Now, maybe they did say, I will say this. I think there's a band that started punk rock. Maybe there's more than one.

Yeah, I'm sure there is. There's a band I believe started punky and then became an awesome band who I love and that is Green Day. Am I wrong about that? Were they punk at the men? They would still consider themselves punk. I think.

They are so, well, if that's punk, it's like punk made palatable because they're, I mean, like American idiot and 21st century that one. I mean, the songs are not punk. I get the punk spirit is in there. They have great melodies, but the car melodies and harmonies. Great melodies and harmonies. Yeah.

In other words, I'm not afraid to make an entertaining, good record. What a crazy idea. I mean, the Beatles never would have done punk because they were like, well, we know more than three chords. We could do something else. But the sex pistols were just literally street pucks who learned how to play after they formed the band. Well, they learned how to play to a part of a movement. It was a reaction. It was a bowel movement. They were... They learned to play and then quickly halted that learning curve.

They died. Well, they died. Again, a year into it, but it's very simple, repetitive. It's, I get it, it's a primal scream. Right. That's what, okay. Well, once I've heard one primal scream, I don't need to hear the whole album. Yeah, I tried to listen to that.

I think it's a double album. London Calling, is that a double album? The clash? I know. I can picture the cover, it's iconic. The Sandinese to the next one is a double album. Something London Calling is one of the best, yes. Okay, and by best, I assume you mean worst. You don't like that either? I'm not sure which of these albums were...

Oh, well, London calling from the far away. So good. Not good, but sorry, I don't have a whole lot of it. I don't know what you're listening to. I would definitely take Holo Notes. Any day, Holo Notes have some very good songs. And when you're dressed, I just think you listen to fact guys who play the ukulele,

who play over the ring. Oh, I listen to good music that's good that's finished. But one of them is a double album and I remember somebody like you saying you got to listen to this and I remember thinking they couldn't just confine this repetitive shit to two sides of an album. I have to listen to four of the same horrible, same song. I mean, it makes the blues look like Mozart and McCartney got married.

You know, people say that... What's the last concert you saw? The last concert, that's a good question. The last concert, Maybe the Eagles? I don't want to go to concerts. I went to see Red Hot Chili Peppers a couple of weeks ago in L.A. They're hometown. It's a transformational experience.

Maybe your life is so good, you don't need that. But for so many people, I'm watching like 30, 40,000 people who poly hadn't... Many of them may have had a rough week. The whole country feels like they're carrying a backpack lately of just stress and depression. To see them go up there and sing about California and LA in front of people living here, it was uplifting. It's like a spring-steen concert. Sometimes it feels like a revival without the religion. Yeah. Well, I think what it is.

I mean, you know, great. Soul of concerts are great. I agree. I had some great times at concerts. It's just to me, it's not worth the, you know, getting in, getting out, being in crowds, you know, waiting online in the bathroom. You know, you can't take that out of it,

beating the traffic. There's a lot, there's a lot that, yeah, I mean, sorry. I, let's do a concert in one of your- But I know that there is a, I think what the feeling that you're describing comes from is that we're also divided. And we don't seem to have much in common with our neighbor. But when you go to a concert, everybody has one really deep thing in common.

They all like that band, that singer. And music is very personal. It's very, very rare to find someone who doesn't like one kind of music. You only have to never hear something when you say, what kind of music do you like? Oh, why not like music? You don't like music?

No, you don't like country music, rap music, but you like some kind of music. You must. Most, almost everyone does. But we don't agree on what kind, but when everyone's at the concert for the chili peppers, it's like all these people have this very deep thing in common. We like this these people have this very deep thing in common.

We like this band and whatever this band does really gets to us on a visceral level. And yes, that is powerful. Of course, when you leave the stadium, all these people, you go back to being these people who... Right, right. And if you talk to them, you'd have big disagreements.

It's interesting. It is interesting. He comes to Savage Beast. Yeah, music is like that. It's a shame that we don't... It can't really change the world. It likes to think it can. But it can for those couple of hours.

That's all it can do. It's like, of course, the band sees that every night, so they think they're changing their work, because that's all they see. It's like Trump always thinks everyone in the country is behind them, because he only is basing this on a Trump rally. That's all the crowd he ever sees. People love me. Yeah, people at Trump rallies love you. Well, if you're, if you're the Red Hot Chili Peppers and you just rock 35,000 people 70 nights in a row Your head's gonna go to everyone loves me. Right, but it's really only one out of like 500 people It's interesting or more or mouth out in the whole country who are there

But yes, I mean, that's the great thing about mask community. Who's the most popular? Musical act in the world in the in in the world, in our world. Today? In America. Yeah, I don't know. I wonder. Well, I mean, we can name the suspects. I mean, there's going to be someone who's enormous.

And I mean, Drake just broke some record, of course, those records. And it's apples and oranges. It's kind of like comparing Babe Ruth to someone who played today. Right, it's impossible. You know what Babe Ruth's lifetime batting average runs? 287. 342. Wow.

342 as a home run hitter. I mean, even the singles hitters, you know, the non-power hitters today would never hit 342. It's because when Babe Ruth played, there was no relief pitchers hardly. They played a pitch on two days rest, the mits, but like literally were mits. They weren't like big giant basket gloves. They didn't play at night. You know, there was no black people in the game.

You were playing only against half the populate so the people so the talent was way Thin no no Latino player, right? No, ever he is that's how we that's how we hit 342 Nobody would hit 342 today. I mean Derek Jeter retired. I think at 310. How the meds doing now? Metzer awesome now that I don't own a piece of the ten. How the meds doing now? Meds are awesome now that I don't own a piece of the platform. What happened? What it got sold to Steve Cohen. Oh, so your park got sold along with it? Yeah, he bought the whole, bought out the minority owners yet. Oh, that must hurt. No, because it was right after the pandemic where we lost a fortune. I was writing

checks you and believe. Really? Yes, because we weren't playing baseball for a year. You got to keep every hot dog vendor on the payroll? I don't know. I don't get involved in the details. All I know is I lost a lot before I got way more back. I knew it was going to be a great investment. I mean, it's a fucking nationally baseball franchise in New York. They're not making any more of those. Why everyone else who could afford it and way more than I didn't do it,

I have no idea. But that's the truth of it. I mean, it's baseball. So you would do it again? Well, no. It got to that pandemic. If you would send to me, but you know what, if we have a pandemic, while you're a part and owner of this team, and there's nobody in the stands for the first 100 games. And then we're gonna play 60, but still nobody in the stands, but you get the TV revenue, but still no hot dogs.

You know, you didn't, I mean, what I remember about it was like, you showing up just to even in LA with a meds hat on, you were fucking used about this. I liked it, yes. I had my boxer, I had a parking spot at the stadium. I mean, so if that happens in right now in an L.A. team. Oh, an L.A. team. Fuck no. I would never swear what? No, no, no. It was only the fact that it was the met.

It was the one team I would be interested in. Well, I root for what if they put a minor league met's team in California? No minor league is minor league. That's what they call a minor league, Jeff. I don't want to be in the minor leagues. I know people like Jimmy Kimmel was like, hey, I got some soccer. I'm like, Jimmy, he just got a trampoline team. Why don't you? Drew Carrey is so proud of that soccer team. Yeah, I'm sure soccer is actually big. It's certainly bigger everywhere else in the world. I never really appreciated it, but I went, I don't need it. I went in London. It's worse than punk rock. I'm going to.

Soccer is the punk rock. I'm going to Liverpool next week, and I'm going to go to a football match. I went. Here's what was cool about it. Liverpool. Yeah. So that's part of the tour.

Beetle town. Yeah, I'm going to day early, so I can look around. I was just looking around. Are you going to take one of those? Torts get them to give you a celebrity tour. Yeah, I have to. You have to. I love look around. I was just gonna look around. Are you gonna take one of those? Torts get them to give you a celebrity tour. Yeah, I'll have to. You have to. I love the Beatles, so.

Well, and you're in Liverpool? I'm good. Wow, so I'm going early to that. I mean, I love the Beatles, and I've been to England five or six times, and I never went to Liverpool. I'll be a surprise guest on the Chris Rock Dave's Repel Show.

This podcast will come out after I've already done it, so I'm okay telling you. But it's such a thrill. I don't quite always can't believe. Like, being a comedian is a backstage pass to the universe. Like, I get to see and do things as just some caterer, son, food, and New Jersey. I never would have seen. That's a great title for your book.

Backstage Pass to the universe. I never would have seen. That's a great title for your book. Backstage Pass to the Universe. I like it. Yeah. I'm just gonna say son of a caterer. Let's put it in the movie where you're... You got this is our second movie, you pinch me for me. This is really, this is a broad right there.

Backstage. You got it. Have you seen the news about inflation? It's hitting Americans where it hurts. Gas up 59% rent. Up 17%. Inflatable pool toys don't remind me. You're wondering, Bill, what would you do to cope with this crisis?

Well, I do what I've been telling you guys for months. Go to masterworks. They let you invest in fine art. Yeah, fine art. And the kind they offer appreciated a whopping 23% annually last time inflation was this high. You don't need to be a PhD in math to know that's higher than real estate and higher than gold. And the S&P 500, you know, when every financial advisor tells you to buy, contemporary art has crushed it for the past 26 years by more than double. Bloomberg, Forbes, and the New York Times have all called Masterworks

an inflation-smashing unicorn. Demand is so high that they even have a wait list. Get this, they sold out a Banksy painting last week in 14 minutes. But if you sign up right now using my special club random link, you get to skip to the front of the line ahead of tens of thousands of other people. Just go to masterworks.art slash random. That's masterworks.art slash random. See important regulation A disclosures at masterworks.io slash CD. Again, there's masterworks.art-slashrendon. HBODOCUMENTORIES have always examined the stories

that make us question the world and show us what humans are capable of, the good, the bad, and the unbelievable. On each episode of HBODOC's Club, host Brittany Loose and Ronald Young Jr. take a closer look at a film or series in the HBO documentary film's catalog that you can watch on HBO Max. They'll get updates on the stories, talk with the filmmakers, plus experts to help us make sense of each film's topic. You can listen to HBO Doc's Club on HBO Max wherever you get your podcasts. And by the way, with that joint in that shirt, you wouldn't like a producer.

Listen, kid. I wore this because I wore this that year. I'm sure this is one of my favorite Hawaiian shirts. It's so beautiful. It's very beautiful for color. Where'd you find it? Oh, it was wardrobe. You know all this shirt is?

Oh my God. It's older than some of the kids listening, which I love. You did a movie in that shirt? I did. Club Med. movie in that shirt. I did club med Was it was a good? No. Have you ever been in a good movie? Well Yeah, kind of but not like a That's yeah, I did two comedies love budget comedies with my friend John Lotton who's a really funny guy in director We did that. That's were two actually funny movies,

Pete Taman and Cannibal Women. But, and DC Cab, you know, that was a great movie. It's Charlie Barnett. I hated it, but I love Joel Schumacher. Yeah, I remember being a young comic scene that movie thinking it was cool. But with that shirt, you can just teach people

how to buy real estate with no money down the camera. Right, it came like that. It's just looked like that. But this, you as the roasting hitman, or what, what, no, uh, yeah, I guess hitman. I mean, so many moves are about a hit. I like that. I just feel like if you do anything where you're a hitman, it's the movie does well. You think I was sort of a cool movie would be where you do anything where you're a hitman, it's the movie does well.

You think I would sort of cool movie would be where you do a roast, and the guy doesn't take it well, or the lady doesn't take it well, and then each of the people on the day is ties like what we could put it to. Yeah, but I think you could pull off a action comedy.

I think you're right for that. I do. Look at Pat Nozzlull. He's got quite a nice career as an actor, right? He's amazing. Yeah, he's good. And we do, I think he's in that hard. You could do it.

I always say that- If it's a funny story and I could put some input into my personality, I would do something like that. Do you remember Sydney Pollock, the director? Of course. Okay. So, so many great movies. And I had I did this show on Amazon, believe it or not, in 2006, like it was one of the first web shows. When Amazon, where were they in 2006? Not like where they are today. And I remember I was when real time was off for like four months. We used to have four months off between seasons. Took a while for the brass at HBO to, you know, get it that, oh no, this is a kind of show. This should be on every week. It's not like our other series, you know. So we were still off for like four months. And so they came to me and said, you want to do this? Just a

more like a straight talk show. I remember I interviewed 50 Cent and Linda Rodstad and, you know, Timothy Olafont actor. And I came on. You did? I was terrible. I learned so much by that experience. You did stand up on it? No. You sat with me. You interviewed me about a documentary I'd made about Iraq. Oh, I remember, yes, it was fine. What are you talking about? No, you were fine. I hadn't talked about the documentary yet.

And I was still tiptoeing around approvals from the US. But I, and at that point, W was like, the whole thing was blowing up in his face with the mass destruction. And Abu Graib, and here I am like, and it was either you loved, it was like, everything was so binary. Yeah, but I were, and you were on fire politically, and here I am trying to be neutral, and you were so like, come on Jeff.

Really? Yeah. I don't remember that. What I remember is that the subject was so interesting because I mean, a comedian going to a war-torn country is pretty interesting. I don't remember that as being bad at all. It was probably two seconds of it

that I had to learn from. The rest of it, I'm sure I was, you know, you and I we roll, but it's like, I remember just, I remember realizing the burden of performing for the troops is that you leave politics out of it when you're over there. Then you come back and suddenly you're talking about it, it's like, you know, you don't wanna go over there

and in the military, before I ever went to one of those USO tours, I didn't know the difference between the government and the military. I thought it was like growing up, I thought it was one big thing. It is. And that, okay.

But when you actually go to Iraq and you meet men and women of all ages, shapes and sizes, and they have like their engineers, their teachers, or not all like, kill a commie from Bobby like in the book. As soon as I learned, I didn't know. I didn't know. As soon as you got humanized for me. I got a stamp. It's not there for.

I started, the only thing I'd ever seen was like war movies. And we need them. Of course. I see that now. I mean, what we don't need to do is spend the money we spend on the Pentagon budget. But to your point about the government and the military being the same thing, of course, that's why it's even scarier than that. Eisenhower called it the military

industrial complex. It's corporate America and the military. That's what is the plus, of course, the government. It's a triumvirate, it's a three-headed monster because most of the money, when they say, we need more of a defense. What they're really saying, what really happens is, no, we need more for defense contractors. The people who can, it's the second easiest cell behind religion is to sell armaments. Because you can only scare people, we need more, more, more to protect ourselves and to keep the monsters away.

You tried to sell me a gun an hour ago. A gun is, right, because you know what? Yeah, I did, let's make one tank tank is not going to show up in your house. But I mean, we literally make so many armaments that even the Pentagon says they don't want and Congress still makes them. Why? Because these defense contractors are smart enough to put in every Congressional district, some of their, what goes

into what they're making. If you're making a submarine, it's got to be made all over the country. So everybody in Congress has a voting interest in keeping that submarine in production. Right. Because they make the fucking widgets here in Indiana. So they just, so we spend all this money, and of course, then screw the soldiers a lot because we don't exactly pay them a fortune.

That's where the money goes to the defense contractors. It's bloated, Eisenhower warned about it 60 years ago. In a couple of years later, I went with to chairman of the Joint chiefs on another tour. Wow. And name dropper. He went in the back of the plane, you know, to a more private with his headset to make calls.

And he, one thing he said was afterwards was, you know, I said, I can't believe how hard you work. You're like the Miller traveling all night. You're on the phone with all these different. He goes, he goes as a chairman of the train's staff chiefs of staff. He said, I run the phone with all these different. He goes, he goes, as a chairman of the trains his staff, chiefs of staff, he said, uh, I run the biggest corporation in the world. Right. He does. Right. The Pentagon is the world's largest office building. And that's what it is, offices. Right. And it takes a lot. And the United States military is the world's

single biggest polluter. You know, it's all way at a hand. Because first of all, warfare isn't really a tank. I mean, it is a new crane right now to a degree, but not on our level. It's either going to be nooks or it's going to be cyber or terrorism, which again, low-tech box cutters, high jacking, you don't need to build submarines to fight the Taliban.

Now, the Chinese... This is a bolt, a steel bolt from a Nazi submarine. A steel bolt from a Nazi submarine? Yeah, my grandfather. You wear it as a ring? My grandfather made it in a ring during World War II. But it's from the Nazis. He worked for the Coast Guard, so he took a submarine apart, a capture ship. It might technically be illegal.

Maybe. You're not supposed to have Nazi like memorabilia. It's not memorabilia. It's a bolt that he pulled off a U-boat. I know. It bolts him or a harbor when he was like, oh, I get it. And I just, I get, I get why. That is kind of cool. But what would have been better if it was an American boat, but I guess then we'd want it to still be on the boat. Right. It's the ideas that we captured. We sunk that. And for a teenage, you know, crew member, the Coast Guard, my grandfather, that was like, what do you call it? A war? All right, as long as we're admitting things. Yeah.

I'm not gonna say whether I still have this. It may be in a secure location. Hitler's cock ring. Yeah. My parents were both in World War II. Did you know that? My mother was a nurse. Yeah, they knew each other in high school. They went to the same high school in New Jersey, You know, did you know that? No. My mother was a nurse. Yeah.

They knew each other in high school. They went to the same high school in New Jersey, cliff side. But my father was two years younger. So my mother knew of him, but he was like a kid. She was a senior, he was a sophomore. They weren't close. She knew his sister better. Right.

Then, during the war of like 1944 or five, she's somewhere and she sees this guy on stage as like one of those, you know, that not a big USO show or maybe, but he was something where he was emceeing because he was a newsman and that's where I get my, wow. Yeah.

And she's, oh my God, that's Bill Mar from the Cliffside High School. Wow. Yeah. And she's, oh my god, that's Bill Mara from Cliffside High School. Wow. And you know, Six years later, they got married or whatever. But that's, you know, so So she had, she was a Lieutenant as a nurse as you graduated always has a lieutenant, you know, um, and she brought home This bayonet from a German soldier. Really? Yes.

And I remember we had it in the house with some other, like, not other stuff from the Germans, but like her, like, insignias and stuff. And, you know, patches that were on his uniform and you know stuff like that they had a little world war two kid and my my father one saying oh god I could have had so much stuff maybe they were talking about how it was selling for something now he said we had flags we had got we had I could have brought home a but that he said it was so everywhere that you didn't think to do it. And, you know, but she brought home this bayonet.

Wow, what a thing. I know, and I wanted it so badly. I was a big world war two buff, because when I was a kid, that's like what the TV shows were, that were action shows, combat. Right. You know, that was the most recent war

that they could, you know, Hogan's era. My favorites. Your favorite? I love that show. It was, you know, it's in that great Godfather movie that's out now about making it the Godfather, the author, because Al Rady, the producer of the Godfather, his job before the Godfather was he created Hogan's era. I did not realize that.

Oh, it's in the movie. It's great. It's really, and they show the pitch meeting where they're like, wait, it's Binancey, we're in a concentration camp or funny, prisoner camp. Right, right, right, right. Of course, it just shows. Gilbert had that legendary bit about that. What?

The pitch meeting, too. He would tell me that famous, well, so our runny wrote books about it with, you know, so it was a famous pitch meeting, but Gilbert used to do a whole thing. I could never, but it was like, it's about, you know, it's it takes place in a constant. Oh, I like it. Tell me more. We got them in West. Yeah, okay, sounds funny.

You know, so it was something like that. Oh, boy, there was a loss. Oh, man. I just saw his widow back in the... There. ...to somewhere, yeah. It was a good lady. I know, she mentioned you.

Boy, you get close to the... you're so close to him and Bob Gilbert and Bob yeah, just a couple of You close to all the comics and they it's just like whoever dies We would hear that you were very close. I'm pretty picky about who I really I mean But I'm what you know the thing about me is I'll hold on to people for a long long time and But yet I have because of the roast battle community that I'm in, I have a lot of comedians that I love that are much newer in their careers. I consider myself a comedian before anything else, before I'm from New Jersey.

It's like a cult or a religion. Before I'm a Jew, before I'm from New Jersey, it's like a cult or a religion. Before I'm a Jew, before I'm an American, when I see a comedian and I'm in Copenhagen, or I was in Dublin a few weeks ago and he's comedians and it's like, I'd rather hang out with those guys. I remember one time, Rock was at some fancy, hoi-di-toi party.

And, you know, he finds the comedians. He doesn't care that Oprah's there. It's like he needs to. Yeah. Well, I mean, in our tribe, that's my tribe. Absolutely. I mean, so when Bob and Gilbert go, it's like, those guys, I had so much of my prime invested

in telling them everything. And Bob was such a good advice person, and with comedy, but also with regular life. And when that goes away, you know what it's like, you lost some friends not too long ago. Yes, this was a rough year. And this thing about comedians hanging out with each other, I'm guessing the public is a little tired of hearing us talk about how much we love each other, but that's too

bad because we do and we're going to keep doing it. Oh man. Because it's real and it's entering to us, but there is just a lot of comics blowing each other up about like how much fun, but it is true and I'll tell you a little story that maybe will set this point on a luxury liner. The longest relationship I was ever in was five years. This is going back quite a few years. I believe Bush, the first, was being inaugurated as our relationship was being inaugurated. Anyway, but I remember thinking, oh, this girl is a keeper when we were going out for a few

months and I had met a couple of her friends once, they probably came to the improv. The only place I ever was in 1988 with the improv. Okay. And I remember because of other relationships I'd had previously, I was 32 at the time. So I had had a little experience. And remember that it had been an issue in some other relationship. That I wanted to spend more time with my friends than I did with their friends.

Because I thought, well, your friends are not funny. And my friends, and I remember this moment I was with from five years, saying to me, when I proposed, I said, I'd met these people, you know, trying to be the right thing and not fuck up this relationship. If you wanna, if you wanna have dinner with them some night, I'm, you know, I'm down.

And she said, Oh, God no. I'd much rather have, hang out with your friends. They're all so funny. It's so cool. And I was like, Okay, keeper. You know what I mean? She had good taste in it. Well, just that was.

That was. It was like, first of all, right true to me. We were a lot funnier because she had been, you know, the only place I ever went was the fucking improv. I mean, we went to movies and shit and dinner, I guess sometimes, but I didn't throw it around like that. Right. You know, dinner in a show was on the show.

Watch me do a set. Right. And then, you know, we'll in a show was on the show. Watch me do a set. Right. And then, you know, we'll get a hamburger at the improv. I mean, you know, and I mean, oh gosh. Don't talk about it. I mean, I'm gonna get for a clamped about our youthful innocent days that some ways. You used to talk about, you used to talk about

when you were starting out, you felt richer. When you were poor, you felt richer. And I don't even think I've ever talked to you about this, but I think I read this like in an interview, but when I was starting out, I looked. That's what I feel richer now. It was like when you were poor, you felt rich because you had just enough money to go to dinner

and go to movies with your friends. Now that you're rich, and on TV, you're like, I gotta do sit-ups, I gotta to call my account, I got to think, damn it. It's like it's a lot more work. Well, it's just a lot more work. You know, when you're starting out, you know, I worked hard, but I also, I see what you're saying there. I'm trying to clean out my days. Like, I'm trying to, the pandemic for me gave me a little bit of clarity on how much I love standup

where I took it for granted for a long time. I kind of did it as thought of as a hobby. Really? I was producing and writing and other stuff. I was always just chasing other stuff, doing other stuff, writing other stuff. Sure. Show business.

You know? And now that I'm like, I'm in, I like being on stage and the audience is right now. I just know. As you know, our like, stand up is like a vaccine for your brain for people. I love it. You know, especially if you're telling people

the truth about the world and their lives, they're like, hmm. Also, they're taking it in like a drug. It's also something for me. I don't know how you do it probably somewhat similar, but I just did a special for the network, HBO, called Adolting, it was on in April, to like get to working toward your next special

is put to such a structure in my life. Like I usually do them every four years. So, you know, there's just different phases. And like that last six months, when you're getting it like literally exactly right, as tight as you can fucking string this. Like the woodland Indians would make a canoe. Right, tight.

Beautiful. Hone's sharp sculpted.ed, ready for a prime time. Right, like Saturday night standing ovation. That kind of like focus and moving toward that and going through those different phases, I love that. That is like my building a ship in a bottle, you know how people build ships and bottles, that's their little hobby.

Yeah. You know, I mean... Is it every four years by design, or it just happens to work out, like that's kind of how long it takes to do? It just seems to have happened to work out. So you don't make a deal. Four years to know.

No, no, no. But it just, you know, I just want to make sure that it's like, suit, like, you know, could I do, well, I could do one tomorrow. Just based, the act I'm doing now, he's almost all new from the adulting special, and it's killing, but it'll just get, it'll evolve. You'll know.

And I don't want to do just a minus. I want to do a plus. And that motivates me and keeps me in a happy place in my mind more than anything else. So just something about that and you're right. It's what we started with. I also had the very similar experience to you where there was a period. I think it was like in the late 90s probably right after I was starting politically incorrect. I'm like, oh, okay, I'm a talk show host.s probably right after I was starting politically incorrect. I'm like, oh, okay, I'm a talk show host. No, what am I doing?

Stand up and you kind of like sluff off and then, you know, you realize, oh, no, wait. First of all, that feeds whatever else I'm going to do. Right. You're going to be a better, you're going to be a funnier talk show host. Right. Exactly. If you were on stage that week. Right.

And it's good to get out of town. I don't want to be, I mean, I love LA to live in. But you're sure it's going to be about everybody. And also, I don't want to be here every fucking night of the year. You know, I want to go to Cincinnati. Where are you? We got to wrap it up here, Jeff. Where are you headed on the tour, either?

Jeff will be at the charcoal fuck at the end. It's kind of like that. I'm going to do it. Now let's mention something. I don't know when we're going to drop this podcast, but it probably won't be too long. We'll do whatever helps you. Tell me if you know these cities.

Tell me if you know these cities. Tell me where to eat or where to go or what you do here. I don't eat on the road. You eat after your show backstage, right? I have. I never understood that. That does not sound fun to me at all. And every other food I eat on the weekend, I bring.

And that food that comes backstage is like something that I order. You ever been a Huntsville Alabama? Yes, Huntsville, absolutely. Let me tell you, Huntsville Alabama is a great town because it's where NASA is. It's a bunch of fucking atheist physicists. That's what Huntsville Alabama is. Really?

Yes, no. I couldn't understand why they invited me. I was like, what? Oh, no, no. No, it's like directly south by about, oh, not much. Like, 50 miles maybe of Memphis? Really? Or Nashville? like I would 50 miles maybe of Memphis really or Nashville something like some major city in Tennessee I think. When a cultural Alabama is very hip you'll see

the big NASA. I'm gonna go to NASA do they give tours? I'm sure. NASA. I'll put it out there NASA. I'm gonna go to NASA. I'm gonna go to NASA. I'm gonna give tours. I'm sure. NASA. I'm putting it out there. NASA. I'm gonna go to NASA. I'm gonna go to NASA. Do they give tours? I'm sure. NASA. I'm putting it out there. NASA. I'm putting it out there. NASA. I'm gonna go to NASA. I'm gonna go to NASA. I'm putting it out there. NASA. I'm putting it out there. NASA. I'm putting it out there. NASA. I'm putting it out there. NASA. I'm putting it out there. I'm putting it out there. NASA. I'm putting it out there. NASA. I'm putting it out there. NASA. I'm putting it out there. I'm putting it out there. I'm putting it out there. I'm putting it out there. I'm putting it out there. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out there. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I'm putting it out. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I All right. I'll see you in Hawaii. Why don't we plug that one? Tell him. Yes. The night before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving, yes. No. December 30th in Maui.

And December 31st in Honolulu. That's always the way it is. Thank you for flying me in PAI from my home. Oh, please. Thank you for having me in my hotel. Time for my friends. Our love. Whatever it takes, by the way, I would happily do that.

Come on, I'm kidding. I know. This is my pain. This opening act. That one tells cost more than the gig. No, they don't. This is the worst deal I've ever made since I've agreed to go to Huntsville, Alabama. I'll fetch a Jeff.

But seriously, I want to talk to Jimmy Vallely about this Airbnb because that sounds like where we should party. Really? Wouldn't that be fun? You could do that. No, no, I can't stay there. Oh, but I could never do that. Remember when we went to Larry Flint's house on the beach?

Yes. Not on the beach, but above the beach. Yeah. And we went to, and that's when Woody, Woody K. Woody Harrel thinks he's over there. Oh, you're right. You're right. And he was there for that what he had all seems to be right there. You're right and Right, he was there for that and

Yes, I have that picture and that was his name the amazing actor with the Owen Wilson It came by. Oh, yes, like you had all these cool Hawaii friends waiting there for you to come there every yeah No, I know so you're gonna do you're gonna so when so when do you mean when do you mean in you or this comics this year it's gonna be an awesome show how much time you think you'll do I usually do a half hour then you know we'll figure it out and then I do a half hour at the beginning and a half hour at the end I'm warning you now my but murder I know so unless you're ready to like I know who you are fucking crush it you better let. So unless you're ready to like, I know who you are. Fucking crush it. You better let me go last.

I'm ready to crush it. All right. Uh, thank you for the vote of confidence. I think I can hit it. I'm just talking, you know, there's no Ali without phrase. Uh, just trying to build it up. We're just trying to give cheap.

We're making people laugh. We're not, we're there for them, not to kill each other.