Club Random with Bill Maher - Jerry O'Connell | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

Bill Maher welcomes Jerry O’Connell to Club Random with Bill Maher for a conversation that jumps from childhood fame to life in Calabasas. Jerry reflects on the unlikely moment that set his career in motion—when director Rob Reiner told the shy kid from Stand by Me to stop holding back and lean into who he was. That advice, he says, changed everything. From there, the two get into Jerry’s marriage to Rebecca Romijn, the surreal experience of being married to someone once married to John Stamos, and the chaos of raising teenagers in Calabasas. Along the way they cover Kourtney Kardashian’s parking etiquette, the Dean Martin school of zero rehearsal, and why ayahuasca is a hard no for both of them. Support our Advertisers: -Protect your car with CarShield. Get 20% off at http://www.carshield.com with code RANDOM -Try Claude for free at https://www.claude.ai/clubrandom -Try ZipRecruiter for free at https://www.ziprecruiter.com/random Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://billmaher.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Club Random Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clubrandom.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it.  For advertising opportunities please email: [e-mail] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, folks, if you're going to spend money on something and might as well be something you actually like, that's what I always say. That's where the club random merch store comes in. That's right. Get yourself a cozy hoodie. Look at this. This is really well designed. That's right. Get yourself a cozy hoodie to snuggle away your sorrows or some new club random shirts. Look at all this shit I have. To attract a partner with similar interests and live happily ever after. I've seen crazier rom-coms, so head over to clubrandom.com and bring home some random. When I made Standby Me, and my father, I told you he's British, went, um, don't tell anyone you were in a movie. This film will never be released. Club Random.

I mean, I had such a good speech, but I need it. Give it to us. Come on. Give us a little bit. I think the first thing I was going to say was. Club Random. There he is. Who did you think it was?

Who else is they were going to walk through that door? It's not like the old Dean Martin show where they were a surprise when it was... Oh, look, it's Ella Fitzgerald. Do you remember the old Dean Martin show? I vaguely, I mean, a little bit... He only came in one day a week. You know, he didn't know.

There was zero rehearsal. So everything was a surprise. Yeah. So he would go into this one segment of the show where he got with his piano player. And then there was a door, and he didn't know who it was. And it was always every... Look, it's Sammy Davis.

Oh, right, right. Oh, and he would be surprised. Yes. Yeah, that's cool. The whole show was the surprise to him. The algorithm gives me a big clip of him singing with this really talented, I think Brazilian singer, doing like a...

What do you mean the algorithm gives you? The algorithm, Instagram, like when I'm scrolling, I spend a lot of time on Instagram. Bill, I have a goal on this show. What's that? I want you to get higher than you've ever been on any episode. I want you to blow it in my face. Well, on any episode, that's not going to happen.

I mean, I've had Woody Harrelson and Quentin Tarantino here, and they both are ridiculous. But I'll be happy to blow it in your face. Well, you don't smoke it yourself? I don't smoke it myself, but I, listen, I live with someone who smokes. Yeah. Vapes, actually. Your wife?

My wife. Yeah. Okay. Is that what we're calling it now? Rebecca Romaine. Rebecca Romaine. Yes. Look it up.

Supermodel actress, very successful actress. Yes, we know who she is. We've come to see you live. Yes, right. The only time my wife finds me appealing, finds me entertaining, finds me attractive. This is not.

Is intimate with me. Why would she marry? The only time my wife, what's the word, touches me, is if my wife takes a hit off that pen. Oh, I see. So, you know, that's, first of all, I'm sure that's not true. you look great. I mean, you really

aged well. You really have. You look great. Thank you. You as well. Back at you. And she obviously married you. How long have you been together? Like a long time now? We've been together over 20 years. 20 years.

My wife was previously married to club random fans, your guest, John Stamos. I came up. My wife watched. We watched the whole thing from beginning to end. Someone suggested to me today, a comedian whose initials are Howie Mendel that I get into this podcast game, that John

Stamos and I have a call-in relationship show. Now, this is because you and he had beef because you were with the same woman? We didn't have beef. John, what is this stuff you always squirt in your drink? I watch every episode, and I'm like, what is this? Is this more like cannabis? Jing. Jing, I drink it. No, it's, it's, it's, I'll tell this every show, it's this stuff that you put into a, just regular sparkling water, and it turns it into a diet soda that has no chemicals. There.

So it's a sweetener. Another case of steaks. No, not steaks. I don't want steaks, but thank you. What? Is it a, yes, it's a, no chemicals, you know, me, health nut, aren't you a health nut? No. I'm not. I eat a lot of processed food. I eat a lot of takeout. I'm not kidding. I know they're not a sponsor, but I mean, I eat a lot of in and out. I'm getting this picture. A guy doesn't get late unless his wife is high. He's always on Instagram eating shitty food. Well, my wife gets high every day, so don't worry about me. I mean, no, but I am, I mean, I know you're an advocate for specifically marijuana use, and I just want to say it really is just. Just mine.

I'm an advocate for me being able to do it. I can give a shit what anybody else does. You get your own. But will you light it? Here, cheers. Oh, let me try some of your sweetener, actually. Yeah. Shake it.

It's not going to like give me like... Not more than twice or you're playing with it. But yeah, I mean, yeah, I think you'll... This is not like my favorite flavor, and it looks like it's been here for a long time. Smells out. I have to talk to the staff about things like that. Cheers, Bill. Here's to you.

I'm one of the only guests on your show that has actually acted with you. We're Thespians. Oh, we were talking about Tom Cats. Tom Cats. 2000, the year. Let's tell everyone, it's a film called Tom Cats. Young men will know what we're talking about. Young men under the age of 30 around there.

Yeah. Why did I do that? It was one day of work for me. And you made a lot of money. Maybe that was it. And they flew you privately. Oh, for sure. I know because you said, when did you get in?

we were shooting in Vegas and I said, oh, I got in yesterday and you said, oh, did they send you the jet? And I went, if I sent me the jet, you mean spirit airlines. Well, because I was doing politically incorrect. I had to like, I shot all day long getting up at the crack of dawn and had to be back in L.A. And do your night show, yeah. Politically incorrect. Bill, I want to say you were a great acting partner. You had a lot of dialogue. You probably don't even remember it.

You were so great with all your lines. I remember. Are you kidding? Are you... I'm being dead serious. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I could do that level of acting back when I was... I mean, it's funny because the 80s,

most of my income was from... I did silly movies. Some of the posters are around here. Bill, I thought for many years you were the guy in Body Double. Yes, I wasn't. I know a lot of people thought that, though, right? Yes, I was the guy in D.C. cab. I was the guy in a bunch of sitcoms and murder, she wrote,

and things like that. But then in the 90s, I got what I really should have always been doing, which was the political talk show. For some reason, in the year 2000, they offered me this thing, and I was like, oh, maybe I'll get back on the horse, see what that's like. Maybe it'll be fun. I don't know. It couldn't have been fun because, like, I had to, like, get up at the crack of dawn,

so I flew in the night before in Vegas, and so that was rushed, and I had to fly right back after. So it wasn't like, oh, I'm going to get a fun weekend in Vegas. There was none of that. I remember I played the bad guy. You were the... You played the casino boss, and I owed money to you. Right.

Exactly. And I was... Why, they chose me as, like, the scariest guy in the world. But I feel like I pulled that off pretty well. You really did. Not like I was personally going to beat this shit out of you, but as a guy who could control henchmen, who would be my henchmen and act as henchmen do.

You were... I'm a very big advocate for henchmen, by the way. I talked about... This runs with Mark Cuban, who probably has thousands of henchmen with his money. But henchmen, I feel, are always, like, shot in movies, and nobody ever feels for them. I mean, it's just a job to them. They're humans, too, but we can just wipe them out, like scores in a row. And no one ever thinks, oh, that was a guy with a wife and kids and a sister.

And he just took a henchman job. Yeah. And he's not really a bad guy. Yeah. And certainly wasn't a very good henchman. got shot by one guy and like thousands of them went down. You should pitch this to the John Wick people, like one of the random people who've been taken out.

I would like a, that's a great idea. I would like a movie from the point of view of the henchman. Yeah. I was, yes, I was the casino boss. You owed money. I remember being embarrassed by the movie and being in it because it was. It's a cold classic. Were you kidding?

It is. Embarrassed by the film? Well, they were like, you know, in the first scene, they take Viagra at a wedding. Yeah, it's a silly movie. Okay. I was embarrassed by DC Cab, too. I think that's a hard. You should be embarrassed by DC Cab.

I want to tell you, I am, I am younger than you. DC Cab on HBO played nonstop in my childhood. I've seen DC Cab. I'm going to, this is not an exaggeration. Blow it right over here, Bill. It's what we call freebie. Jesus, what a pussy. My God.

Oh, yeah. All I did was fucking blow the lightest bit of smoke in you. One more, right over here, Bill. Okay, but go ahead with your, what were you saying? DC Cab, I've watched it hundreds of times. It's a classic film. I mean, I know it might not have been recognized by the Academy. I think that the B-movies,

I did Pizza Man and Cannibal Women in the Abacado Jungle of Death, while more low budget were actually better funnier movies. They're actually kind of funny. No, they're also not Academy Award material. Those ones were just like, I don't know, lowest common denominator sort of, you know, yeah, people to this day say, hey, D.C. Cab, and if it makes you happy, I'm very glad all the fans out there,

All I ever want to say to these people is, you know, I've gone on to other things. And of course you have, and we're not defining you by your role in Tom Katz at DC Cab. But I will tell you something. Being that we do have, you know, on this show, a lot of times people talk about your manager, Mark Gervitz. I heard it in the Dana Carvey, David Spade episode. You have a mutual manager.

For those watching who are not in the entertainment industry, we have managers who, manage our careers and you're with them for decades at a time and they're very helpful. It's like a coach in football. I mean, can he win you the title? Of course not. But can

they affect enough of the games perhaps to take you over the edge in a close race? Yes. And it's a confidant and it's a protector. So I am with the Mark Gervitz counterpart Michael Rotenberg. Who's a three arts who's

sort of a contemporary of Mark Gervitz. They're... Another big manager. And they're very good friends. But he said something really interesting to me. First of all, as a manager, he said something really fun. I had a TV show that was canceled, right? Like you, like all of us who've been here for decades, we've have a lot of TV shows that are canceled. Which one was this? I don't even remember. One of the hundreds. And he took me out to dinner. God, our managers are always way wealthier than we are. But They took me out to dinner and he said, I was really depressed. And he said, if you can figure out how to make this the fun part, looking for the next one,

it'll be, this will be a fun career for you. And that really, like, affected me and how I think now, you know. There's no way you can do that. That's not the fun part. But I never will. I really do. I try. Okay.

But that's never going to be the fun part is when you get. kicked on your ass and you have to, yes, it's the part that, it's not the fun part, it's the part that can make you feel good about yourself because you deserve to pat yourself on the back when you pick yourself up, when you could have like let it defeat you. I remember once in a, sitting in a bathtub in a hotel in San Francisco in 1983, I think, crying in the bathtub because I did not, I was up for the sitcom version of Mr. Mom. and I was like right on the one yard line and at the last minute they gave it to Barry Van Dyke

not that I remember and not that I'm bitter about it exactly fucking nepo baby unfucking real that said and I said I hope your father does not live a long life and stop oh God I was just

thinking of Dick I was just thinking of Dick Van Dyke his granddaughter was my kid's teacher in um in uh you did say Van Dyke and not Van Barry Van Dyke yes he was excited many bands but I thought I was funnier but you Michael Rotenberg my manager we were talking about managers is a little inside baseball but we all have managers in this business um he said to me you're you're gonna end up where you're supposed to be and that really like that affected me as

well I was and how would you define where you're supposed to be like well how would so if that's true you're filling that blank for me Okay. Because I feel like you do a lot of things. Yes. So that's what... You'll take anything. You know, no, no, no.

No, it's okay. It's funny to say that. Hey, I just did the Hollywood Square. Nothing I cannot even. I was hoping to get that offer. They didn't get it. It's one of the fucking Van Dyce. Oh, yeah.

I don't know. It's a big Van Dykes, great great grandson. Yeah. But you know what? The next day you get back on the horse. I hope. that the younger generations like have that in them I don't know they seem so full of anxiety and they're so oversensitive about everything and you know I'm I mean we

were just talking about how many my work of how many live at home now the statistics are very different it's like 8% in 1970 like under 34 lived at home and now it's like 34% or yeah and there's something of that's economic and some of it is just you know I don't know I mean if I if I worked for Monday Mayor Mondami I would tell you that's affordability right there but um I hope you don't let's give him a chance come on Bill I'm a born and raised a New Yorker let's like see what he can do you know okay we absolutely we can let's see what he can do but we already know what he is because it's in his own statements and the people he hires.

I talked about him, you say you watch it, you must have seen this. The first show was talking about this woman who is his herb. Like the head of, his big issue is the rent. He's the rent as too tame high guy. And that's a good issue, and he's affordability. He's a great issue. But, you know, I said, how do I know he's a communist?

Well, I'm reading between the lines when he hired someone who says, word for word, let's elect more communists. Okay, this is not like something you have to really figure out. Elect more communists, that's a communist. Now, if Barack Obama or any reasonable Democrat, had anybody on their staff who had that on their resume, it'd be like a huge scandal. But this guy, this is just where we are.

Like communism, I said it. I'm not, it's a political philosophy, it's an economic philosophy. you're allowed to believe it, you're allowed to vote for it. Let's just not pretend that that's not what this is. I understand, and take another hit while I say this. I want to smell a little more, please. Just a little bit more, please. Okay.

I think it's different running for President of the United States and running for not even New York, a major city. Communism is communism. But if you think, let me put it this way, if Rick Caruso, can't win in Los Angeles, okay? And he can't because it's... He can't.

No. He can't get enough votes. He can't. He can't. If Rick Caruso can't, if the guy who owns the groove. Do you like him, Rick Caruso? Yeah, I do. Okay.

I met him at the... Where I live in Calabasasas, which is a town in the outskirts of Los Angeles, it's a sort of a Tony Hamlet of Los Angeles. Yes, it is. Very Tony. I think the Kardashians live there. Kardashians live there. I have a nodding relationship with them. Um, we do.

We have a... You mean like you're taking out the trash, you see them taking out the trash, that kind of a thing? No, actually, we pass each other in parking lots and I go... Parking lots? Yeah, like...

What are you buying fentanyl? No, we're in malls. It's like the suburbs. You're in a parking lot? You go to the mall and they go to the mall? You see the Kardashians at the mall? I'm gonna tell you my... I'm just...

Okay, I'm not judging. I'm gonna tell you my Kardashian mall story. Great. My kid was in a... Math tutor. A kid was failing math. How old? She was 27.

Well. She was a junior high. Okay. She's failing math, so I had to take her to like a math place. I mean, maybe they'll be a sponsor for the show. Mathnesium. Okay. They did help her grades, okay?

This isn't that school Kanye had, is it? No. Mike is go to public school. That's how, you know how serious America is about education when they let Kanye have a school. I was there for that time. A school. I do remember, I don't know much about education.

Literally, this is what I know about education, okay? My kids were about to go to school. That's all you need to know about America and education. It is. That's all you need to know. My kids were about to go to school and I was like, I was like, mom, I called her my mom. You know, my mom's from Jersey City.

She was an educator, public school teacher. My kids go to public school. By the way, I also read that Malcolm Gladwell book, and he's basically like, put him in public school. There's no difference. Go. Absolutely. And I really adhere to that, you know. And it's great.

I'm telling you, everybody, it's a, it's, I mean, listen, mind you, I live in Calabasas, so some people are going to say, well, yeah, you live in Calabasas. But Malcolm Gladwell really turned me on to the public education thing. Anyway, I called my mom, and I said, Mom, um, Connie's got this school. Like, should I send my kids? Where should I send my kids to school?

Come on, you considered it? What do I do? What do I do I go on Google? Do I go on Yelp? How do I find a school? Go on Spotify. No, no, no. I mean, go on any, you know, news outlet.

He's very, you know, much in the news, Mr. Kanye. But my mom is so funny. My mom, and I love this quote. My mom said, I'll tell you what you do. You call the Shapiros. You call the Goldstein's. And you ask them where they're sending their kids. and that's where you send your kids to school.

And she was absolutely right. Public school, 100% all the way. Back to my Kardashian story. That's what your mother sounds like? Yeah, she's from Jersey City. She talks like this. I actually, when I'm in Stand By Me, you know, I was a kid acted in Stand By Me?

Yeah, we all know that. You were the fat kid. I was Husky. No, you were the fat kid, but that's okay. I mean, it's made it stand out and made you, I mean, come up. You're always will be golden for that even if you didn't even anything else. I mean, look at McCauley Calkin. He did a similar kid role. He's still iconic, you know. Highly successful podcaster, by the way? Yes. I mean, but like, you know, you've worked every day since. I mean, he he didn't. But just that one iconic kid role and it was the best role to have the fat kid.

It's why I'm here. I was Husky. But, but it's honestly, it's why this Rob Reiner and his wife murder is, it's really, it's very emotional for me.

It's very tough. I'll bet because he directed that if people don't remember. Rob Reiner directed it. Rob Reiner picked me out of, it was an open call, Bill. He saw something in me. He saw,

the man changed. everything I have. You say he saw something like it's a big mystery. He saw what you still have. You're a charismatic guy. People just, it's why you keep being in the public eye and doing different shows and different projects and getting hired. There are certain people, the public just, for reasons that I find completely understandable,

want to see. People just want to, you know, be around certain people. You are one of those people. Because I think it's something, you know, they get it. it translates through the screen or wherever that you really are this guy, nice guy, you know, like... Well, you know, like... Okay, what's your worst trait, do you think? What would your wife say, or what do you say when you're being self-critical?

What's your... The worst thing you do. Something I'm trying to work on with my wife. My wife says that I stress her out, that I, that I... That I... That I... Um, maybe I have anxiety, you know? Yeah.

Anxiety. Maybe I'm an anxious person. Another cure for that. A little of this and a little of this. Trust me, it'll go away. I'm going to get back to my Kardashian story. I promise we're going to come back around to that. I want to hear about your anxiety first.

What do you have anxiety about? And then how do you stress your wife because you're like talking to her about it too much and she's like, you know, honey, it'll all work out. She has to do that a lot? I guess I wake up in the morning and like this is what I have to do today

Um Be glad you have to do something Yeah I guess so Some people wake up and they got nothing to do Yeah Um You know Like waking up in the morning

Hey we have to have lunch at noon Because I've got to go drive over to Club Random At 3.30 I mean I'm not even kidding You know And like So I'm active

trying to not be as stressful around my wife. And my wife is like a laid-back, like Northern California chick, you know? Right. We watched her ex on this, man. We watched every second of it. It's fun to watch my wife. Watch her ex.

It's crazy to watch it. Oh, her ex-lover. Her ex-husband, yeah. And they were lovers, too. You didn't have to remind me of that. So John Samos was married to her back in the, like when they were both young. Yes.

And it's sort of, it's a part of my life that my wife doesn't really talk about, so I just try to like glean what I can. And you ask him about it and I'm like, well, you know, I mean, like, I don't think he would mind us telling this. But since we already, no, I'm talking about somebody else now. Since we already brought him up, which is my manager, his girlfriend used to be Bruce Springsteen's wife. So like, I've seen this before. And I don't think it bothers him at all because people just go through different phases of their life. And, but, like, can you possibly ever block it out that your woman was with some guy who the world finds super sexy? Listen, Bill, my children, I never watched Full House, which was the show that he was.

No, if you want to just. Oh, what is this, is you in the bathtub? No, it's you. But was this stabbing yourself now? Just killing yourself. Come on, no, there's no self-harmed. No, come on. And if you do, no.

Do that. I'm just saying if you want to, it's here. You know, call someone. Thank you, thank you. No, my, I never watched Full House ever. I was too old, you know? I was in my 20s when it came out. That would have been weird if I'd watched a show about like a bunch of kids and stuff.

One of them, like these esteem files or something? I agree. Yeah. But, um, I, uh, my kids watched it. So I would, I rewatched it when my kids were like young, three and four. Because you watch shows with your kids? I was in the living room. You have to make sure they stay alive, kids, you know?

So they're, like, watching TV, and you're, like, on your computer, and it's on... That's so... I know that this is a thing. It's just so foreign to me that I would ever have to watch TV, something I didn't want to watch because some four-year-old found it amusing. It just, again, I don't have... Bill, you know what? I'm not even kidding.

I'm saying this as a huge fan of yours personally and publicly. I mean, I watch you every week on your show. I watch all these episodes. I'm a fan. I've seen you live. I've paid for tickets to you. Remember you were shocked? I came backstage.

Why did you pay for tickets? And I was like, because we're fans, maybe. Jerry, that means so much to me, you know? I have two stories I have to get to how Rob Reiner changed my life, and I'm going to tell you. And maybe you'll identify with this. Oh, okay. I was what they called...

So this bumped the Kardashian story. I'm getting back to it. I was what they called a hyperactive child, okay? And yet fat. That's so weird that it would be both. I'm gonna go full Drifus now. That's what you get. You get the full Drifus now.

You call me fat, I go Dreyfus the rest of this time. I got a golf, I got in a golf cart accident. I want to perkis. But, no, it just seems odd. I'm in pain. Okay, so you're hyperactive. Hyperactive child. Right.

My mother, I would always get, they wanted to put me on riddling. Okay? Wow. It was a... It was a drug back then. Sure. I'm in a lot of agreement with you. And as someone who's raising children, I don't believe immediately.

I'm sure medication is needed. Sometimes. With children. Right. I don't think the first answer should be, let's get him on something. The first answer shouldn't be, let's get him on something, or they're in the wrong body. Both things could possibly be relevant, could be, both. Both things should be much more rare than they have made them.

They let ideology lead them to bad science. And these, of course, are the science people. This is where my take another hit if we're gonna talk about gender stuff. We don't need to. I'm just saying that that was a relevant point to make. Okay. I was just talking about medication. Okay.

You're in the mall. No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're not there. They wanted to put me on riddle. You're in the mall, Rob Reiner came up. My mother was adamant about them not putting me on Ritalin.

Oh, really, right. Which I adhere to with my children as well, you know. Um, I get stand by me. I got it. Open call. They saw something. I practiced the sides. I got the role.

Had you been auditioning for other stuff and done other stuff before that? I had been an extra in a commercial. But you had this ambition to do it? I took a weekly class at a place called HB Studios in New York. But how did you wind up at? to call for Rob Reiner to see you. It was an open call. They were casting young kids.

But somebody, I was at H.B. Studios. Your mother must have seen it and said, you didn't see it. It didn't come through my mother. It came through. My agent. What? Your agent. I didn't have an agent.

It came through Rottenberg. Um, no, I didn't mean Rottenberg. Garviz. No, it didn't come be Gurman. How are you mad. Stop, come on. It was an open call. It came through, I don't know how it came through.

Maybe through my acting school. I don't know. I was, oh, I was, Always getting in trouble at school, my mother would say to me, can't you just shut up and sit on your hands? Can't you just, when you want to blurt something out, I was getting in trouble for blurting things out, for being funny, for being a class clown, I guess they call it.

I was too. You were too. My mother would pick me up and like yell at them and say, we're not putting them on Ritalin, and we'd get to the car and she'd go, can't you just shut up and sit on your hands? When you want to say something, you want to blurt out something,

Just shut up and sit on your hands. Hard for boys. And so I got to tell you. Boys have extra amount of energy. My life for three or four years was me wanting to say something, okay? Make a joke about your goo or something and be like, oh God, just shut up and sit on your hands, dude. Just shut up and sit. Yeah, that's not healthy either.

Just shut up and sit on your hands. And it was my mantra. Bill, I get stand by me, okay? First day on set, for those who know the movie, you'll remember the scene, you won't, but we're throwing like stones in a can, and I have a very funny line where I say, this is a really good time.

And it's like a touching scene, you know? Because it's like 11-year-old boys doing nothing going, this is a really good time. It's touching. The scene ends, we finish doing the lines, okay? And we're still sitting there, Rob Reiner doesn't yell cut. And so I do something,

I joke with a canteen, or I make a joke about myself. I ad-led something at the end. It's just silence, you know. Improved. I improved. And Rob Reiner goes, cut! Jerry!

Jerry! And he was a big dude. God rest his soul. And I was like, oh, fuck. I was supposed to shut up and say, I'm like, oh, fuck, I fucking did it. Day one. I fucking did it.

Oh, God, here we go. I couldn't fucking shut up and sit on my hands. And he comes to set, and we're all sitting on the ground. And so he's standing over. I'm going to stand. Sorry camera people. And he goes, hey, Jerry, more of that. That's what I'm talking about. What he did at the end? That's it, guys. More of that. Jerry, more of that. And I got to tell you, Bill, it changed my fucking life. Yeah. It changed my, I think I replay that moment.

This is going to sound obsessive. I replay that moment about 15 times a day in my head. When I'm driving when I'm walking, when I want to say something, because my initial reaction is shut up and sit on your hands. But no, Rob Reiner said, hey, that's it, man. And I got to tell you, I've been, maybe you say I'm outgoing and gregarious and I work all the time. I do it because I'm dying for that moment again. I'm dying for it. I live for it. Let your freak flag fly. Let you be you. That's a great story because it's just, This shows, it epitomizes the conflict that goes on with so many people, but especially boys. It is a thing, I mean, lots of people are writing books about this now.

You know, it's just an issue that we sort of, the pendulum never stops in the middle of America. So men were so bad to so many women for so long, and many still are, that then we had a reckoning in 2017. And then it just became sort of toxic to just be a man. and especially boys got the backlash, like young boys got the backlash to an era that they didn't even take part in. And so they grew up in this time where it was just, you were just, it just,

there was no allowance for this kind of male extra energy that especially boys have. Like, there's a reason why we sometimes separate boys and girls. You know, Boy Scouts now have girls in them. I think this is ridiculous. It's called the Boy Scouts. called the Boy Scouts. Do you have to always be fucking stupidly counterintuitive about everything? Girls, they also need time when they're just with girls because they can't be around these

knuckleheads. Yeah. It's, you look like you're angry about this. No, I'm not angry. I'm just trying to think about it. And I'm like, this is really what I try to do. I try not to get angry about these things, Bill. Okay? And I try to think, what I was thinking was, why would they do that? And maybe it's to take away stigma of gender. I don't know. I'll tell you why, Jerry, they do it. Because the kind of assholes who live here amongst us, the kind of super woke people,

they live to have themselves thought of as the good people, as the social justice warriors. So they're always looking for some new marginalized people to champion. And of course, the very thought of it is noble. And I get it. and I'm an old school liberal. 100%.

We're always been there for this. And they take it just 10 subway stops too far. 100% places where it's just about making them feel like they're doing something. And you know what? You're not Rosa Parks. You're not anybody who's doing anything. You're just like trying to be this sort of social justice warrior. And there's no war that needs to happen here.

Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, there's no hate crime happening. Okay, it's just about. the way it really is with boys and girls. Yeah, I think I can speak on this as someone who has two 17-year-old girls here in Los Angeles. I think you had young kids. They're 17 now. They were young when they watched... Oh, I see.

Full House. And I'm going to get back to that story as well. But I see their contemporaries dealing with this stuff. Please blow it this way. I need it more than ever now. right over here. Just take it hit. For fuck's sake.

I mean, what is wrong with you? I see it and really, I'm sure you're the same way. The goal is to make them feel as safe as possible, especially at that precarious age. It's just, it's such a tough age. And I'm saying it just is sometimes the case with the woke people

that they are their own worst enemies with so much of this shit. You talk about your boyfriend, Mamdami in New York. I don't know what the tally. How I became my boyfriend, but... Yeah, I don't know what the tally is. Casually seeing each other.

We're... I don't know what the tally is now, but it's in the least high teens of homeless people who have died in the freezing because it's just not the policy of the woke to ever... Think that we could, like,

forcibly get people off the street. which is what we used to think. Right. Well, there were vagrancy laws. When I was younger, there was no vagrancy. It was what we thought was compassionate to not be sleeping in fucking zero-degree weather on the sidewalk, as opposed to their, you know,

protecting them like there's some sort of endangered species in their natural habitat. So I only bring this up, to say, analogous to, and I could name 10 things, I don't want to, because I don't want this to be so political, but where the woke people go, way past where liberals like me and sensible people are to a place that is ridiculous. I totally hear what you're saying.

Okay. That said, I think you're trying to inflict your ideas on a city that voted for Mandami and voted for Karen Bass. Like, this is where we live. I'm always trying to inflict my ideas. I shouldn't have said inflict. No, no. In fact. Sorry, sorry.

I love that. That's hysterical. Goo. What did you call it? You're goo. Goo. Back to the Kardashian. No, let me get to my Stamos story first.

Oh, great. My kids are watching Full House. I was watching it with them. You should be a father. And once again, this is the guy who was married to the woman you. My current wife. We'll see if we're still married after this podcast drops. Who was with him for a brief period of time and has been with you for over 20?

Yeah. By the way, I'm sure as you said, they were, what did you call them? Lovers? How long were they married for? Just a couple of years, right? Six years, 14 days. Is that really six years? 14 days? I'm kidding. I don't know exactly. I'm going to guess.

It was a brief period of time, a brief period of very, very hot sex. And then it burned itself out as it always does. And I'm sure. Must have been smoking a lot of pot. No. Loud affection to happen. My kids are watching it. One of my daughters,

who's, you know, was always like into boys and stuff, comes up to me and goes, Dad, his character's name was Uncle Jesse. That was his character's name. Right. Comes up to me and goes, Dad, I really like Uncle Jeff.

Oh, geez. And I was like, get out of here because a lot of my friends call me, like, I'm on a group check. They all call me Stamos. It's like, I thought she was like messing with me. That's not funny? I mean, I feel like, no, I feel like that's just...

Come on, you kind of laugh, Bill. You just call me the fat kid from stand by me for 30 years. And that, I think, is fun and funny. That's the line for you? Because you have become something very different. That was when you were a kid. Whereas calling you that, I wouldn't appreciate that. if that, I mean, we kid about this, but would I want to be like reminded about it every second?

I really wouldn't. It's just good old-fashioned ribbing, Bill. Lighten up. Okay. I'm trying to defend you. I mean, it's sudden it hurt me. Lighten up. It's going to come about frozen homeless people all of a sudden.

Jesus. Back to the Kardashians. Speaking of frozen homes. I told her to get out of her. I said, get out of here. And she went, no, I really like them. And my other kid, they were like three or four. I said to my other kid, hey, do you like Uncle Jesse?

And my other kid was like, yeah. And I was like, hey, girls, come here, come here. Hit pause. Open my computer. I'm going to show you three-year-old girls a photo. And it's going to blow your little fucking minds. They were like, what? And I was like, are you ready for this, girls?

And they were like, yeah. Stamos, Romaine wedding. My kids were like, is this AI? And I was like, no girls, no AI that was taken on good old-fashioned film. So this had never come up before in family? We're like three. We're going to sit them down and be like, hey, we think it's time we told you. Your mom and John Stamos were really ravenous lovers.

So they were three? Three or four, yeah. They were that young. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, my father was previously married to my mom. I don't think they ever. I don't remember them sitting me down and being like, um, fellas, it's time we told you. Right. Your father exchanged vows with someone who wasn't your mother. It was like, I heard them fighting over alimony my father still had the pay or something. Yeah, they never told me my mother was Jewish.

Oh, really? We went to Catholic every week. My sister, my father and I, my mother stayed home. I never asked why. It just was always the way it was. It wasn't until I was 13. And it just sort of came up at Christmas time. And I'm like, what? That's, I mean, the fact that it never crossed my mind it tells you a lot about like,

whatever you put in a kid's life becomes the norm. Yeah, it's true. Which is also sad because that's why abuse happens also and kids don't understand how wrong it is. Yeah. You know. You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right.

to the homeless dying in the snow. No, um, that's funny. My, uh... It's funny? No, my father's British. My father's old. He's here in L.A. Your father's British?

Yeah, I'm actually a British citizen. He's, he's from London. He, um, he immigrated to the United States in the late 50s. He's old. Hmm. Um, and he moved to Greenwich Village and never left. That's where I was raised in Greenwich Village.

Wow. And, um... You're a city kid? City kid, yeah. Wow. On the subways, everything. In 1980s. 70s, 80s? Oh, that's another thing.

L.A. is like sort of going through it right now. It's not the city I moved to in the 90s. You know, it's hurting. I'm sorry to say, it just is. Anyone will tell you that that lives in Los Angeles. You don't have to be sorry. It's not your fault. And it's funny. I'm never leaving Los Angeles. I love Los Angeles. I love this city. I feel the same way. I will never leave the state of California.

I tried once, and it just fucking slop me right with Austin with all those like no no no in 2020 you're doing you getting on stage of Rogan and stuff did you do that move no no no slow down and not austin I would not move to Texas in 2020 there was a week when we had the fire so bad that it blocked out the sun for a remember there was no sun yeah I was like you know what I pay 13 percent state tax you know what I pay that for the sun yeah when I mean today is February 1 whatever. Beautiful day. A gorgeous day. I look up in the sky and it goes,

that's what I pay my 13% for it. That's what I'm 13% for the sun. If you actually presented that with me, I would, yeah, okay. I will pay 13% for the sun. So when it wasn't here, I looked at places virtually, but I mean, it's just during the pandemic, wink, wink. Old Zillow. Not that it wasn't a pandemic, it was.

Let me guess. I want to guess. Miami. Oh, whoa. Wouldn't you guess that. Well, I'm not going to go to someplace cold. Yeah. I'm not going to leave the United States. I could see you in Miami.

I could see Miami. I could see you. You ever do an episode of Miami Vice? Are you one of those guest stars? No, you know, famous, by the way, that's on the algorithm. All the famous people that did Miami Vice, Bruce Willis, Gloria, Stefan, like. Well, you know, after Tom Cod's, I did get typecast as a... Don't you ever speak ill of Tom Cats ever again.

That is a fucking classic right now. I meant to say it's a classic. I stay in California, not only for the weather, I stay here for the politics. I like the politics, California. It's sort of, it's... I like some of them. It's in alignment with me.

I like it better than Oklahoma, but I think... I think I like to live in a state where there's gun control. I think there are less guns on the streets and guns scare me. Um... I think... Yeah, I mean, there's still a lot of people with guns. I understand that? And if someone breaks into your house,

It would be great if you had one. I don't have a gun in my house. Yeah. First of all, I had teenagers and also, I told you my wife is always hitting off that vape. I don't want her like. Well, you know, you can lock it up the gun. I don't trust that.

I know, the fingerprint stuff, come on. They're gonna figure out a way to. Who's gonna figure out? I don't know. The kids? The wife? What? Yeah, I think guns, look, I'm a believer

that guns like- Kill. Well, they do. And if they're in your house, that increases your potential for someone. You talk about California. The reason why people have big problems with California and why one-party rule is not a great idea.

You do need both parties to keep each other honest. I agree. We have crazy laws in California like if you shoot somebody breaking into your house, it might be you who goes to jail. I understand that. Is what makes people fed up with this state. And then we look up and there's this sun

and we go, okay, I'll put up with that too. I get it. I'll put up with the overtaxation, the overregulation, the potholes, the homeless, this bullshit, that bullshit, because the sun is up in the sky, and you just cannot switch that out. I get it. But that said, getting back to my point, I'm never leaving. Growing up in New York in the 70s and 80s, I've seen this urban, I've seen urban decay. New York City, when I was a child, was...

It was Death Wish, New York City. Right, I know. And that's what it was. It was. Death Wish was actually... It wasn't an exaggeration. My mom got mugged in our neighborhood, knife to throat. I got mugged, knife to throat.

Crack epidemic. Yes, on the train. How old were you? Oh my God. Twelve? Twelve. Twelve. Yes.

And you had a knife to your throat? Crack. On the train? And listen, this is where it gets... This is where it's sick. What do they think? I think you had to offer at 12. This is where it's crazy.

My mom gave me cab fare. I was visiting my buddy Oliver Ray up, uptown. She said, take a cab home. Take a cab home. And you pocketed the money. I pocketed the money and took the subway home. Just like a fat kid. And I...

Just like a fat kid would. I'm sorry. I was like pretty much in shape at this time. I was working on my... Well, you said 12. Is not around what... How old were you when you did? It was starting to come off.

The pounds were starting to come. How old were you when you did that moment? I was 11. 11, see? Okay. I was 11. Oh, by the way. But then you went back to New York.

You didn't think at that point where you were hot in the industry that you... Listen, I blame my parents for this. Like, obviously, like, you look at like Elijah Woods, Leonardo DiCaprio's parents, Dakota fan. You'd think if, like, a kid was in Stand By Me,

like, that would be it. I didn't even have an agent or anything. Like, my parents, they had jobs. They didn't know. My mom was a teacher in Jersey City. My dad was working with something advertising. I know the movie was a hit. When I made Stand By Me,

we went away for the summer to Oregon. I came back to New York City. My grandparents came with me. My mother, when she got off of work, came out with me. They were not stage parents at all. I came home. I was telling my father, they had a crane. We were riding the crane.

They did these crane shots. It was so great. There was a body. They had a fake body, but then they used a real body. It was so much fun. They had a dolly, and a dolly is when you push in on a shot.

And my father, I told you he's British, went, um, You're about to go back to school now. Don't tell anyone you were in a movie. Come on, really. This film will never be released. It will never see the light of day. Are you serious?

My father had worked with a guy. Have you ever told that story? That's the best. I'm sure I have. That is so good. My father worked with a guy who left his agency. He worked at an advertising agency. But it's exactly what a British guy would say of his era.

My father worked with a guy who left the agency. He was a partner and sold his partnership and everything. to go make a horror film in Los Angeles. And it never got released and sold the Life for Day. And he had to come back to the agency and I think start as a copywriter. He had sold all of his shares. And like my father told, like, my family told that story,

like, can you believe what an idiot? His retirement, he sold it all to go make a movie. And so when I came back, he went, don't tell anyone. That's so funny because you are so the opposite of a stuck-up British prig. You know, that's like, that is so not you. My father's pretty humble.

He's not, he's from London. He's not. Yeah, but I mean, a man of that era. Yeah. From London. I mean, London was a different place and British stiff upper lip and, you know, very reserved. We're not, uh, we're, we're not those people, you know. My parents aren't, and I'll tell you, it's very difficult raising children of moderately famous,

the star of Comcats and the fat kid from stand by me. It's really, our one goal as parents is to make sure we're not raising fucking NEPO babies who are entitled. I mean, it's bad enough I'm raising my kids in Southern California who bill. When you have kids and you're gonna have them, they're gonna talk like this if you're raising them here.

I know, and it's so funny that they've infected your mind, I can tell, because I know you're not really when you like every time I say something that's completely common-sensical which is why you like watching my show you're the best you're the voice of reasoning I know you're my news source I know but I know but I can see that there is a gut reaction that comes from living with a woman and children where you're like wait a second what did he say about this thing that I should be more woke about I could see it it's like it's it's it's

beyond intellect it's just it's like a gut reaction like I should defend the oh but you're right the homeless really shouldn't be on the sidewalk. Full disclosure I watch your show all the time and I watch someone like Patton Oswald come on here who's a good friend of mine and I know and it's

I watch how he reacts to some of your politics it can be trouble for a guy like Patton Oswald coming on there. It can be trouble for most of this town and that's okay I do not share it's funny I always say to my woke friends, you've probably heard me say it. We voted for the same person.

You're just why she lost. Oh, don't see. What? I say it all the time. I said it to John Cryer right in that chair, and it sums up how I feel. Like, we voted for the same person. You know what? As long as we're on to this sort of subject,

you know what really pisses me off? They wouldn't give this town. I'm going to take myself out of this, although I'm really in the same category. Tax break. they would not give any sort of Emmy nomination to Landman. Right.

Landman, which is a great fucking show. Great show. Great show. If you're listening, Tyler, please, I'm available. I'll even work out for him. I know he's jacked. I'm such a fan. I'm available, and I'm really not.

Let's go. Tyler, Tom Katz. I think it's Taylor. Taylor, sorry. Taylor. Oh, Jesus. I don't know if that's going to get you a job. Taylor shared.

Why is it? Tyler. But I'm so sorry. Mr. Sheridan. It's perceived as, like, that's how fucking annoying they are, that they can't even abide by a show that is not specifically tailored to people who run a yoga studio in San Francisco.

I don't know. You know, it's about the middle of the country. It's so great. Lioness is so great, too. Lioness, love that one. That's another show. That origin story, when she goes into the recruiter's office, and he goes...

It's an amazing factory he's got running there. It's awesome. Please. But, okay. Taylor, please. Just finish this. It's like they would not nominate that show because, and Billy Bob Thornton has been in the press complaining about this, as he should,

because it's perceived as a conservative show. First of all, even if it was a conservative show, that should be allowed. This is fucking America, you assholes. Okay, but it's, you know what? Landman has girl bosses, as Mexicans, and has a trans character. I mean, it's just not. exactly what you are. And so we have to ignore that and pretend it doesn't exist.

You know, you want to know why people vote for Trump. That's why. Your shitty attitude is a real turnoff. So I'm going to tell you about a bit of... I say this, will I stay married? Blow it over here. Sounds like you're going to blow it over here. The night of the election.

This third one. Yeah. Third election. Everyone knows what I'm talking about here. I was watching late at night the returns, and I'll be honest with you, I didn't think Trump was going to win. I live in California. I didn't think he was going to win.

I didn't. I didn't either. I think he was going to win. This is where I live, you know? I said something along the lines of like, there was no planning, this is what they get. There should have been a primary. I said something along those lines, you know?

Like I was just spitballing ideas as to, it was a shock, you know? My wife and daughters, without saying anything, became physical with me. They were filled with rage. So if I am being careful with you in how I say things, yes, I live in California. I live with not one, not two, but three. people who, if I made any kind of joke, they would, they'd become very angry with me, you know? Well, I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but I couldn't live that way. I would, whatever household or ever situation I'm in, I say what I truly think, and if it makes you

angry, I'm sorry, we'll have to work that out. Well, it makes... But I am not going to tuck my tail between my legs and just shut the fuck up. This is what you were dealing with when you were a child. Just sit there and don't say anything. Sit on your hands. But what happened to Rob Reiner? More of that, Jerry.

More of that. Yeah, yeah. Where's Rob Reiter's ghost when you need him to be telling you more of that? Yeah. Now tell the Kardashian story. Pull into this parking lot. My daughter's failing math.

There's a... I love this show. There's a Bentley. That's ridiculous. A Bentley. You know what a Bentley. Huge car. It's the same thing.

No, I'm from Bulgaria. Well, I don't know. I mean, like, a Bentley is a large, it's a larger than, it's a large car. Yeah, I'm 70 and I live in, you know, California. Bentley was parked diagonally taking up three spaces, and I'm walking with my daughter, and I'm trying not to raise NEPO babies, and I'm like, you see this shit? This is the kind of shit. This is disgusting. I know you live in Calabasas.

I know we're raising you in Calabasas. These people are fucking monsters, taking up three spaces like this. Absolutely. Fine. Three. This is a fucking joke. Whoever did this is a monster. You're going to be driving in a few years if you pass math.

And don't ever do this. Like, understand we have to, like, being someone in society is, like, doing, like, helping society out. It shows the sense of entitlement they have. 100%. Entitlement. Which you never find among 17-year-olds. So I'm there with my daughter. And someone whose initials are...

Not Chloe, not Kim. Who's the other one? Not Chloe or Kim. Somebody help me out. Chris? Not Chris. That's the mom. Chloe?

Chloe's the sister. Chloe. Kim and Courtney. Courtney Kardashian. She comes out with her kid. And she says, we have a nodding relationship, right? I told you. Like the Kardashians and I, we like cordially like nod at each other.

Where? Where was this nodding happening? In the parking lot? Oh, in the parking lot before. Calabasasas, yeah. Oh. And so... This is not the first time

you met in the parking lot. No, we had, like, nodding. We have nodding relationships. So I give her... I'm gonna get to this parking lot. I give her the cordial... This is... Oh, it's a...

It's a Rick Caruso parking lot. This sounds like a really good parking lot. So I do the cordial, hello, my lady. Don't say that. And she gives me the nod. Sure. And I actually said, like,

hi, hi, Courtney. And she went, hi, hi, Jerry. And we walked past each other and our kids. Celebrities do. We pretend we know each other even when we don't. It's how goes, man. I know you from TV. I know you from TV.

We've actually never met. Comcast, DC Cab, what's up? Exactly. Do the nod. She goes and gets in that Bentley. That's taking up three spaces. And I went, it's good to see you, Courtney. And she gets in, starts it up and pulls off.

And my daughter says, weren't you going to say something to her about the three spaces and taking up all the spaces? And I was like, you shut the fuck up. That's Courtney. Kardashian. You shut up. There is a hierarchy in this town. And you better fucking learn it if you want to be in this town. Now, go past math.

Jerry, you're going to hang out with me more. Anytime, Bill. First time, long time. Isn't that what they say in sports radio? I'm going to put that Rob Ryder back in you. One more hit for me. By the way, I've been scared to come on your show. But you know what?

I'm going to come and did it. Rob Reiner back in you. I'm alive. I might not be married when this air is. I'm alive. You'll be married. She loves you. I can tell.

One more on my face for the drive home. Right there, big one. Is this all a gag or do you actually feel that? Because I do know, you're not the first person, by the way, who does this? I don't think he would mind me saying this, so I'm going to say it. Yeah. But one other famous person who is the exact same thing as Joe Walsh. of the Eagles.

Joe. I saw them. I saw that fucking sphere concert. You got to go. By the way. I've seen the Eagles five times. Dude, you haven't seen it until you seen it at the sphere. Yeah, I intend to go.

Oh, my God. It's a different experience. Change his concert going. Yes. Oh, I'll tell you a fun drug story. I went with, it was my wife's birthday. Some people did cocaine and mushrooms, which is weird. Some people.

Some people did. Who are these people? Ecstasy. Molly, whatever they call it. This is the last very recent? This is what we went to the sphere. Some people did, this is the group that we were with. Some people did acid.

They do acid now. It's called unicorn spray. You spray it. This is a big group. Okay? All those drugs. Some people didn't do anything. Wow, a lot of people.

Who do you think? I took a test. I really wanted to study this. I was like, when am I going to get a chance to like see this? Who do you think had the most fun? Elizabeth Warren. I don't know The acid people

Oh, I'm in the drug you Yeah Well I don't know what acid is anymore Since it's been 30 years since I did it So I think it's pretty like I've heard it's great I gotta tell you

Oh no no no Moms are doing it like moms are partying on the weekends Oh no acid is not your father's acid There's a whole day I absolutely know this I'm not particularly interested In trying it myself at this age. I wish I felt more confident to do things like that, but no, it's just not smart for me.

I think they do it. They call it microdosing. Yes, but they drink the whole bottle, but it was microdosing. But they have refined it so that it is not quite what it was before, which was an all-out trip where you're either like falling off, thinking you can fly and diving off a building. By the way, a mom sold us the acid, a mom. Imam, like a Muslim preacher? No, no, a mom, mother, mommy,

like a mom. The imam. Everything gets out to religion with you. Yeah, I mean, drugs are a whole different world out there with the microdosing. I mean, I tried microdosing mushrooms, and my only reaction was, oh, really, then what's the point? Like, either you're going to go full on or not. I mean, it wasn't really a trip, and it really wasn't. Oh, do you do those ayahuasco things that everybody talks about?

Well, that's a full-on. thing, no. I mean, that is a whole different thing, and that I don't see is like what we're talking about. We're talking about partying here with the fun drugs. Yeah. Iawaska's not bad. Iowaska is a deep dive into your psyche, and you

have to really want to do that, be prepared to do that. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it either. They're not going to keep it inside. It's better to keep it inside. I don't know if it's better, but I don't know. What am I going to do at 70? How like, what am I going to, like, reorient my whole life because the ayahuasca?

And also, I don't feel like I've been that bad. I know my life. I know me. I know who my friends are. Yeah. I know what I believe. I know who likes me. It all adds up to not an emergency.

Yeah. It's so funny. Somebody really tried to talk me into that ayahuasca thing. And the way they described it, and I'm sorry to ayahuasca people, they're going to go off in the comments right now. But they said like... Oh, God, Jerry. They said, like, you know, there is some diarrhea and vomiting involved. But you got to stop caring.

about your kids, your wife, and the comments. Well, I live with my kids and wife, so I have to care about them. Okay, but like... They have access to the gun. But you can think differently than they... You can think differently than they can. And that's okay.

You're a different guy raised in a different era with a different anatomy, and you are going to naturally feel and think some different things. And maybe you're right, too. You have lived longer. Usually in societies, we think people who live longer have more wisdom.

Not always. There are some old fools. But in general, like, I mean, we shouldn't just dismiss out of hand the possibility that your feelings and your opinions are correct. I got to tell you something, Bill. It's funny you say that. I don't think anyone's right. I'm not kidding. I don't think anyone's correct. I don't think there is a correct answer to anything.

Well, there may not be a correct answer, but in a world nowadays where people say, it's my truth. Yes, there's my truth and your truth. There is also the truth sometimes. There is the truth. Sometimes there is just the truth. That's why I pay out-of-pocket tickets for you. This is not wood, it's concrete. Yeah, that's not my truth.

That just is the truth. There's a lot of stuff where you can say gray area, and we've certainly moved those goalposts to where it's almost everything. You know, we used to have a shared view. at least about the facts. We don't have that anymore. But some things are the truth. And I'll admit that about the things even which I'm supposed to be on the other side of it. You know, like, I'm not an anti-vaxxer, but I didn't appreciate the way we treated COVID in this country.

But it is just the truth that it was an actual epidemic and that the vaccine did actually save millions of lives. No, I took it as... Yeah. I think I went three times and then I was like, all right, I feel good. Okay, well I didn't want any one of them But that's that's But I got my shingles shot too I'm that old can you believe I'm that old I had to get a shingles vaccine By the way let's get some of that pharmaceutical stuff

Enough of this like sweetener stuff let's get like Get like the big ones here Taylor Sheridan did you ever do drugs in your heyday though I mean like when you were a young blade No booze You know I'm sort of in really? Yeah I'm an Irish I'm an Irish Polish American Italian American and booze was my thing

Booze. Booze. But, I mean, when you did Tom Katz, the year 2000, you're single, right? Booze, boozing. You're single. Yeah. You're a star. Yeah.

You're a good-looking young guy. Yeah. I mean, there must have been a lot of female interest in you, and there must have been a lot of nights out. Yeah. Did you not take advantage of being a young, handsome star in Hollywood? I took advantage of it. I liked being in relationships. I love the company of other women.

I love, I was like a dinner. I'd like to go out to dinner, you know? I like to, uh, sure. I love making girls laugh. But I mean, was there a period? No, I mean, I do too. I'm serious. Yeah, I am serious too.

And also sex. Yeah, love that too. All right. Feeling. But I'm saying, was there a period where you were a single man who you like, you really did not want to get married for a while because it was just too much fun to be out there.

And you were, and you were playing. playing the field as they said. Were you playing the field? Well, Bill, I got married, you know, for Los Angeles. I'm not speaking for the rest of the world. I got married at 33, which is in Los Angeles, I was the first one of my friends to get married.

33 was the youngest. My guy friends were like, what are you fucking doing? This is way too young, dude. My friends, we weren't even, I was living in a condo, we weren't even close to getting married. I met Rebecca Romaine. Rebecca Romaine. Rebecca Romaine was recently divorced.

We dated for about... From who? We dated for months, close to a year. I got to tell you, every time I was intimate with Rebecca Romaine, I would say to myself, I can't fucking believe this is happening right now. I can't believe this is my life.

Like, I would be like, oh, that was fun. And then I'd go to the bathroom and be like, just give me a second. And I'd look in the mirror and I'd be like, I fucking did it. I can't believe this is my life right now. Why? She's got to fuck somebody.

I know, but me, like, why not you? Bill, she's on the cover of Sports Illustrated numerous times. She was the blue lady from X-Men. Okay, but there's only one James Bond. You know, I mean, somebody else has to step in when Uncle Jesse's busy. But, you know,

The fat kid from Stanby, she picked the fat kid from stand by me. You said it yourself. No, suddenly the fat kid is valid. Suddenly this has great merit to say the fat kid. I mean, I love it. My wife said who was, now we're dating, my wife is 31 now. My wife said, listen, I want to have kids at some point. Is that something that interests you?

Right. And I was like, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah, of course. Yeah, anything I can do to keep this going. So we got married a couple years later, and we... It was so funny trying to have... I'll tell you, as someone, talk about goo. I had spent my whole life... Took another hit.

You thought this episode was over. This is the extra stuff. This is the Patreon stuff, everybody. It's never over. I... One of the most unnatural things I've ever done was trying to get someone pregnant. My whole life had been... I had an uncle, Jerry DeSappio.

I hope he's listening to this, lives in Mammoth, New Jersey. When I moved to Los Angeles, he drove me to the airport. Give me money. Give me some cash. He said, walking around money. And he said, just do me a favor, whatever you do. Don't get anybody pregnant. You can never do that. You can't get anybody pregnant.

Like, that's the one thing. I was 21 just out of college. Don't get anybody pregnant. So I had tried all those years to not get anyone pregnant. Finally, my wife said, like, let's try and get pregnant. I was like, you want me to try and get you pregnant? I can give you a tip on how to do it. When you come, leave your dick in it.

It'll work almost every time. No, you have sponsors. What are you doing? Sponsors. Anyway, so why did you have to try? I mean, it didn't work just normal? You got to try a little. You've got to try a little bit.

Yeah, but I mean, if you're a newlyweds and you're fucking all the time, you're going to be fucking when she's ovulating and then, I mean, the sperm, I mean, it's nature. I mean, it's nature. I mean, people have more of a problem stopping it than starting it. Starting it is, you know, you just don't have to be a rocket scientist to get that. Unless you have some issue. You had some issue, too little... Well, obviously, it worked.

It worked. I didn't have an issue. Okay. Fuck, me, I had an issue. No, you obviously, you put your sperm in a lady and she made children come out. You're a virile man. By the way, this is the most scientific episode of Club Random that we've had.

This is like a health class. This is great. It's about ovulation. I mean, I have spent my life trying to do the opposite. That's what I'm saying. That was my point. And I feel like that causes, you're talking about anxiety, my friend. Yeah, it does.

I mean, there's much more anxiety. And there was years when I was a young. Scared. Scared of phone calls. Stupider when I was a young Swain when, you know, I may not have been as a perfect with the safe sex thing as you get older, you get smarter and wiser and more responsible. Of course.

Sometimes when you're younger, you know, it's like you use the rubber the first time, and then it's like the second time, well, we know each other now. Of course we use a condom when we don't know each other. What do you mean we don't know each other right? Just fuck you. We know each other good. I think we've covered it all. I mean, what else is left?

I don't know. Rest in peace, Rob Reiner. It's so funny, your producer said, do you have anything to plug? And I was like, no, I actually do have something to plug. We're doing these live shows of Stand By Me. It's me, Cory Feldman and Will Wheaton. And what they do is this guy, Dan Pastronach,

you probably know him. He's like a comedy, he's like a comedy curator guy. We screen the film. in these 1,500 seat houses, big houses. And I watch, we're going to a bunch of cities, go on the website, standbymeelive.com, and we screen it and we watch it. And then afterwards we have a talk.

And every night is different. It brings back memories for some of us. It's very emotional. I bet it is. And we haven't done it since God rest his soul, Rob Reiner and his wife passed. It's going to be very emotional. That's going to be very emotional.

And you know it's fun. When is this happening? It happens. Dates in March and there's going to be later dates. There's a website called standby me latte.com. It's going to all the cities. It's like a tour, an entertainment group called the Mills. You show the movie and then you get on stage and take questions.

We show the movie. Yeah, yeah. And then we take questions and we just talk. And it's, you know, it's really fun for me because I've seen the movie since it came out. I have never seen it in a theater since opening day with my grandparents. Is that right? And on Fifth Avenue, across from Alexander's, on Madison Avenue, across from Alexander saw a matinee, empty theater with my grandparents.

And it's so awesome. By the way, I kill in the movie. I kill it. Like people, all the laughs are right there. Right. It's just such. It's the best part is the fat kid. I'm not trying to just say it.

I'm just telling you. It's the best part. When I got my first sitcom, I was the office. creep. Does that sound like a compliment? No, but it was the best part to have. The other three people, Gina Davis got, she was awesome and she's a big star and Alfry Woodard, Oscar nominee and Bronson Pinchot. They were all very talented people. Sure. But I was the office creep. All their lines, if you looked at the script, you could kind of interchange them. There were just three nice people. I was the office creep and you were the fat kid. And that's, it's good, you know,

So we gotta do something about the film industry here in Los Angeles. It's really... We? Yeah, we. Like us, we can do this? I don't think we can. I'm not in the industry. You are in the industry.

It's not the film industry. You work on a studio. You still work in a studio. Yeah, okay. What do we have to do? Got to figure out how to get those stages filled again. I mean, you, I'm just saying that because you worked on a sitcom when I'm sure it was like... But part of this is unions.

Part of this gets back to something. where your natural inclination living with the woke is to go, wait a second, don't attack unions, there's something, and it's like, well, you know what? Yeah, that's, I mean, I read that's gonna, that we might be heading for another strike. The deal that they just struck a couple of years ago is, it's already up.

Yeah, and now. I remember the heat that you caught saying, If we don't come to an end, something's going to happen. I was, Bill, I couldn't believe the... I wasn't the first one to go back to work. That was, I think, Drew and the ladies from The Talk and some other show, they all said they were going to go back. And I said, yeah, I think that's a good idea.

I mean, it had stretched on for a long time. I'm not anti-union, and I'm not about getting a good deal. But, you know, we do have some information, actual facts. since that strike, and I think, I don't quote me on the number, but a very, very, very high number I thought when I read it, like 40%, something like that, of jobs never came back. So, like, again, per my theme of, let's do what practically makes sense for the old school liberals of the world, as opposed to what just sometimes seems performative. Now, again, people should absolutely get what they deserve,

but also, you know, we live in the era we live in. I can't change the fact that Tilly Norwood is now a movie star. You know who that is? No, I don't. I'm so sorry. That's the AI actress. Oh.

Tilly Norwood. She's not real, Jerry. How many spaces does she take when she parks? I don't know, but Caruso Mall. None, because she doesn't exist outside of AI. Is she attractive? She's very attractive. I mean, this is the future of movies.

They're going to shoot it for $10. Does she have to get high in order to have a conversation? That's the point. They're going to want to hire Tilly Norwood. No, they won't. I'm not afraid of AI. Oh, you should. Could AI recreate who you are every Friday night on HBO Max?

No, not me, but a lot of things they could. Could they have recreated this conversation? Could AI have come up with us talking about Fat Kid from Standby Me and Goo and Frozen homeless and covering it all? No, absolutely not. But could they make a Maverick Top Gun? Yeah. Yeah, maybe, you know? They practically did. No, I'm kidding.

I actually liked that. It was a great movie. It was really good. But I understand what you're saying. You know, it's anyway, look, you and I are not the people who are going to say, Father would I just put her out there right now. Yeah, I was just saying, hey, but Bill, you know what? I want to thank you. You're one of the few people, those who, I'm saying those who don't live in Los Angeles, Bill still shoots his show on a lot, on a Hollywood lot, on a stage.

Yeah. And I'm sure people have said, oh, it would be cheaper if we move to this stage out there, or you're right there in Hollywood shooting it. And that's going to be a part of your budget. And like, you do it. I would, I'm currently not working on a lot. I had to go make a film and out of the country, you know, it's, uh, where? I, I, I would, I, I would, I, I would, I, I, I, I, I went to beautiful country. I went to South Africa. I went to Cape Town. Gorgeous. Really fun. Really, uh, made a great film, uh, worked for, uh, what's coming out on Tobey. I guess I do have something to plug. Yes, tell us. It's called Summer's Last Resort. It's going to be on Tooby, streaming service. Commerce Last Resort, good title. Um, Summer's Last Resort. What is it about?

Uh, it's a family movie. I play, uh, a father who is, uh, like, he's, like in a household where he has to make believe he's woke all the time because his, like, mom is, Like you in real life. It's joke. I'm joking. It's joke. No, it's like, it's sort of like, did you ever see the film Tomcats? I'm kidding.

No, what is it about? No, it's a great. It's a family movie. It's really fun. I play a stepdad and the teenagers don't want me to marry their mom, and it's cute. It's funny. Cape Town was gorgeous. You know it would help the plot of that movie if you go on vacation and you get your organs harvested.

I'm just saying throw in something like that and there's just more drama. There's more things to react to. You know, the kids, how do the woke react to? They're harvesting our organs. But are they going to go to the wrong people? You know, things like that. Right. Is it going to, it's good.

I'm going to remember that. I want to make sure I'm marginalized people get my liver. I saw a pretty good movie you should watch. It's called Primate. It's about a crazy chimp that goes crazy. It was funny. I watched it last night. I watched the trailer last night.

It's on a... I'm a Peter person. I'm an animal lover. I can't watch any movie. where animals are abused. Oh, I thought you would have invited your dogs in here. They died. All of them?

Two out of three. So you got one? I got one. You didn't want him or her to sit in here? That dog is so old and so easily traumatized. And not replacing it with a puppy, huh? Well, I've debated that. Like, would it be better to have the very old dog now with a puppy who might annoy the fuck out of it?

or would it reinvigorate it? I think it would just annoy it. I really do. I think the old dog would be like, get the fuck away. No, I don't want to play. I played what I was for. You know, dogs, they only get like four years.

You get four years where they run around like crazy energy. We have big dogs too when they... They quickly... Short their lives. Well, the lives aren't so short, But the life they live at a certain point, they have a very long period where they're very lazy. And there's a lot of sleeping.

And if they were in nature, they'd be dead. Do you get puppies? Well, you know, when the last one goes, that I want to get, you know, a few together. I think the thing to do is to get them together so that none of them... You don't feel lonely when you're out of town. Well, also none of them feel like, oh, this is my house

and some newcomer came. Right. That's what dogs gets them fighting. You know, they have to feel like it's nobody's territory. Hey, can I throw this out there? Yeah. I didn't want, I always thought I was allergic to cats. My wife, when we got married, was like, we're getting cats.

And I was like, please don't do it. I'm allergic. I love cat. I'm a cat guy. I'm a cat daddy. You should get some cats. Cats are fun. Well, I don't know if you know this, Jerry, but all dogs go to heaven.

All cats go to hell. I know you say that. I hate cats. You know what? No, I'm kidding. I'm an animal lover. I love all animals, but I don't want cats. In a lot of ways, you're kind of like a cat.

I may be like a cat, but I don't mean I want, you know, I may be like a man. It doesn't mean whether I have sex with a man. Just, I may be like a cat. I don't want to have a cat as a pet. Maybe there's too much cat energy here. Why am I like a cat? You watch heated rivalry, the Netflix show? No, not Netflix.

Why would that make me like a cat? You talked about having sex of men and just, I was going off on a tangent now. I'm trying to squeeze in my... on my bill more time before you cut off the show. You're the one who said, I thought you wanted to quit. No, I could do this. I'm spending the night.

Are you kidding me? You watch the heated rivalry show? No, but I certainly have read about it. I watch it with my kids. The gay hockey players. It's a hot show, man. I watched it with a couple teenage girls and their friends, and they were into it.

I'm not against it. They were... Why is it so popular, do you think? What's the... I think the sex scenes are sexy and graphic. This is gay sex. Gay sex? Yeah.

And I know you're doing that, but they don't show penis or penetration, so it's not hardcore pornography? I feel like I have to make no apology for saying, I don't like to watch gay sex. And I don't make, what? I don't. It's just, I, I, the full support of the entire gay community. 100% all of us. And certainly there's lots of gay men. out there saying, you know what, pussy yucky. You know, like, we all like what we like.

And I don't, it just not, you know, it's not like it's awful, but I just don't want to watch it. And it doesn't, it doesn't turn me on, obviously, I'm not gay. And I'm thrilled that it does for you, and I'm glad there's, I'm glad there's things for you, and then there's things they make for me. Like Landman, you know why they hate, you know why they hate Landman? Because it's got four hot chicks in it. It's like, how dare you have hot chicks in a show anymore? Oh, God.

Taylor Sheridan was this close to putting me in the next one, and then I went in on that heated rivalry thing, and he was like, hold on a second, hold on a second. No, first of all, I'm going to get Taylor Sheridan on this show. You should do it already because I've been support. He's a fan. No, you've been talking about, you've been a big supporter. Yeah, I'm a big supporter, and I think it's ridiculous that somebody who,

I mean, every once in a while, somebody comes along and TV like that, who, like, has so many shows, and it's like, remember, David Kelly Sure, yeah, David Kelly, L.A. Law. So many shows, like, where does this guy find the time to write all these shows? Ryan Murphy does it a lot. Who was the guy, Stephen J. Cannell?

In the 80s? Sure, remember the typewriter? It's like every detective, whether they're a fatter in a wheelchair or whatever they were, Stephen J. Connell was having them solved crimes all over town. It was amazing. And, you know, it was just the era. And of course,

we're in a different era. But, like, there is You know, Aaron Sork, like, I mean, there are people who just... But Taylor Sheridan's been doing it for a second. That movie, Sicario? Yeah. That's a real movie, man. That is like... Oh, and Hell or High...

Is it Hell or Highwater? That's another really good one. Great. No, I mean, some people just can, like, sit down at that typewriter and just flows... And Stallone's Tulsa King. Also quite good. That's Taylor Sheridan. I will tell you, I have heard something about him.

and this is positive. This is what I've heard, so I don't know if it's fact or fiction, and please, Mr. Sheridan, if you're upset at this, I'm sorry, but I've heard, unlike other TV people, okay, unlike other TV people, other TV people have a script and present it,

and the studio goes, oh, well, got to do this, and you've got to change this, and we need this, and we're trying to get younger women to watch and do this, and you have to, and we don't have the budget for this, and we don't have the budget for that,

and you've got to cut this out, And so then they, you know, rewrites and you know, you get different color pages and scripts, and that's why pages have a bunch of different colors. I'm sure that happened in the Bronson Pinshow, Dina Gina Davis, sitcom. I remember the different color pages, yes, you're right. But allegedly, and I don't know this sort of fact,

Taylor Sheridan has a script and goes, there it is. Make it. And that's why it's so good. He is hardly the first one to have that. I mean, that you're right about... In television? In... It's HBO.

The HBO's mantra, bro, that's how they got to be HBO, is that they let their people do what they want. I mean, I've been very lucky because I'm part of that where you're God in your universe. If they give you a show, you have enough rope to hang yourself if it sucks, but we do not look over your shoulder. That's why they always attracted the top talent. You were so funny.

And that was copied by lots of other people. If you want the top talent in this industry, you have to give them that deal. Terrell Sheridan, I'm sure, has that deal because he is top talent. He is not the first. If you want the really good people, don't fucking tell them what to do

or how to do it. Just trust them. If it fails, HBO has had big misses too. That's okay. You know, no one bats a thousand. But that's how you make good art. You were so funny. This is going to show you what a fan I am,

but we were watching your end of the year episode of real time when you were like, don't know who my bosses are going to be when we come back, but I love you. Hope you keep us around. This has been a lot of fun. That really made me laugh. It's true.

It really made me laugh. It's funny. No, I don't know. I still don't. We have missed you when you're not on the air. I appreciate that very much. We have really missed it. I really do.

When you said stuff on the red carpet and people were like, hope you're doing well. Hang in there, Bill. It was so funny. Well, that was apropod of our discussion about Hollywood. It's so much fun to do that whole thing.

thing about and again there's a practical aspect to what I was saying Democrats really need to cut loose to celebrities they're not helping they don't strike people as normal because they're fucking not Democrats already have a problem with people thinking that they are not the common sense crowd and then when they see you know the Chapel Roans and the Billy Elishes of the world who don't act like normal people and then whatever they're saying just strikes everybody in America who's a normal person as, oh God, here's more of this stuff where you can't relate to a real life.

And, of course, there was comedy in there about it. It's so easy to, like, show celebrities acting crazy, like giving Kanye a school. I went to a Kamala Harris rally. My wife and I donated to the campaign. And Megan the Stallion played. And that was pretty fucking epic, Bill, if you were there. I mean, it really invigorated, like, excitement.

It really invigorated the people who were already going to vote for her anyway. That's who invigorated. There is no correct, no, there is no correct. I mean, yeah. I mean, you can jerk each other off all day long. Kamala Harris lost all seven swing states. I mean, she went 0 for seven where the election was. I mean, that's not...

You have to almost try to fuck up that badly. You know, as I've said many times, they lost a crazy contest against a crazy person. So, you know, you do you. You vote for who you want. You believe what you want. I'm friends with everybody. You know, I love being friends with everybody.

I mean, there's very few people who I won't talk to. And, again, the people who will not give Taylor Sheridan his due are the same people who think that's terrible. stay in the bubble, only talk to the people who already agree with you who see it the way you do. Okay, you do you. You know, I'm very happy position where I am and very happy. I can have you here and also, I mean, I've had Charlie Kirk here. Yeah.

I've had lot. I've had, you know, RFK. Of course. Everybody. And famously went to see Trump and like I will talk to all of them. Let me ask you something, because I was watching the Golden Globes, and I was watching you mostly, just because I'm not even joking. No, I'm a fan, so I'm like, oh, let's see Bill,

and it's a pressure situation. They're calling your name, you're in front of all those people. Do you give a shit whether you win or lose? Of course. I mean, you have to be some sort of a liar to say, oh no, I got all dressed up in a monkey suit and put on makeup at three in the afternoon. to go out to this thing and this giant traffic jam.

I hated every fucking minute of it. I hated all those Emmy Award shows I went to, and they would never give it to me, and they never will, and I understand why. That's okay. We don't have to go into that. But, yeah, of course, you want to, because you want, I mean, I had such a good speech, but I knew it.

I did. Give it to us. Come on. Give us a little bit. Oh, I don't remember what it was, but I think the first thing I was going to say was, I can't believe this woke town gave me an award. Yeah.

That's why they didn't give it to you, I guess. Exactly why. But, you know, it's, again, I feel like I'm in the Taylor Sheridan category. And there's some other shows and other people like that, that it's just so anti-liberal, in my view, to have this attitude that they seem to have, that you have to just to just completely conform and get exactly in line of, get back, get back in line. Yeah. Yeah.

That's how it strikes us. Like, again, we should actually even be able to accommodate people who are actually conservative, let alone just not exactly the kind of liberal we are, and that's not good enough for them. And I mean, I just, this town, just a lot of the people in this town have a bad attitude. Having said that, I can't walk through a room. of anything where I go. I was just at the Clive Davis pre-Grammy party

without every two feet people stopping me and saying the kind of nice things you say to me. Like thank God for you, you're the only one who speaks the truth, thank you for your service. Bill, we were at a party. So it's like that's my... I'm here because I ran into you at a party. I was at that party.

There is a guy who was there, and I said hi to you. Hey, remember Tom Katz? I walked away, this guy grabbed me and went, you gotta fucking introduce me to Bill Maher. I've got to fucking meet him. I've got to go meet him. And that was John Stammer.

But that is the party where you were you right. Well, Tim, before me, just saying, I got the rebuttal. But that word. No, no, no. You got the girl. No, get out of here. There's no jibri of girls. No, come on, he's happily remit.

He's beautiful wife. Yeah, yeah. Beautiful. Everybody wins. Everybody wins. We all, we're all, first of all a different person in every decade of our life. Wouldn't you agree? With 30, when you were in your 30s, is that anything like Jerry today?

Absolutely not. Okay. Completely different person. So, you know, that's it. You can't, in any way, rationally compete against yourself or anybody else at a different error in your life. And, you know, are women in their 20s fun? Yeah, they're fun.

They're also such more of a pain in the ass usually. Tell me how so. In their 20s? Well, they're dumber. Like we all are. We are too. Okay. They have wisdom in other areas?

Like what? Not sex. They're not better at sex. Sex is like anything with the 10,000 hours thing. It takes a while to get good at it. Okay. Maybe better at social media? Like they understand? Yeah, social media. Who gives a fuck? Well, I don't know. I mean, like... But a woman 31 versus a woman 21 in bed? These are things I don't know. Really? I'm married to... I know, but for 20 years. Not 21 and not 30? I know, but... But you had a life before that. Yes, you don't remember? I don't remember. I mean... Well, take my word for it.

21 and 31 are very different. They are. And if ever go to bed with women 41, I'll give a report on that. But I wouldn't count on it. No, I'm kidding. I'm sure it'll happen. Well, I'm not sure of anything. One more hit, and then let me hit the road.

All right. I've got to go. I'm going to go take my parents to Canters. Really? Yeah, I take them to the deli here. My parents are old. They're welcome with King. It's tough.

Just give me one for the road. How is Cantor's doing? Great. It's really good. It's a local deli here in Los Angeles. It's a classic. Classic. You should go. The best best pastramian town. Nate Niles is pretty good, but it's really good.

I love you, boss. You're the best. Hugs. Hugs, not drugs. Let's not make it the last time. No. You don't have to have cameras. It's so fun watching you come down the hall.

always. Yeah, well, it's, uh... You didn't think I was gonna show up, huh? Well, you were 15 minutes late, I mean, uh... Well, I... No, I don't do. You were actually 15 minutes, or at all. I don't give a shit. This has been the highlight of my year.