Club Random with Bill Maher - John Mellencamp | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: August 27, 2023

Bill and John Mellencamp on why John didn’t do the Tonight Show, the reason John’s dad apologized to him, why Prohibition took hold in America (hint: guys are drunks), why John carried a knife early in his career, why John is not a big fan of rap music, whether peoples’ lives are worse in America today, if the Earth will kill us, why Bill was nervous at school, the perfect height for a guy, why John got married at 18, John’s question about Bill’s Real Time monologue and much, much more.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Club Renew. Did you change your number? Or did I change my number? I feel like we used to be in touch more and I feel like... Anyway, that's what it is now. Because I feel like I have to hear from you a lot more.

It's not me, isn't it? It's you. It's the person you got sick of me. Of course it's you. Is this like Johnny Carson thing? Well, Johnny Carson, you know the kids don't even know who that is. I know.

I always ask me and interviews like, you know, who was your hero growing up? And I'm like, well, Johnny Carson, I was the guy on Mount Rushmore. I mean, yeah, I was asked to be on Carson. And I said, no. You're a giant rock star. I said, no.

You never did it tonight, Joe? You should have done it just to say it's on your bucket list. Now, you... It was now, but, you know, 30 years ago. 40 years ago. It's different. Yeah, you know, back then, if you were on the... Why didn't you do it?

Because it wasn't cool. It was cool for me. Well, it was cool for me. I wash it every night. Well, why didn't you think it's cool, then? Because the, you know, the what? The Rolling Stones and the critics and... The Rolling Stones.

The Rolling Stone magazine. Oh, magazine. Yeah. Oh, what did I have to do with the main show? The Inline Show. What? The Inline Show. The Rolling Stone didn't like you being a little bit.

If you were on and you were cool, I see. Yeah, if you weren't, if you were on. Right. It's not like you comedied. Well, you had to do it. It was like, it was a right of passage if you're a comedian and show business in the 80s when I came up.

Johnny was everything. If you could do other talk shows, we had to do that one first. And if you didn't do well on that one, the other ones didn't matter. And you had no career. You couldn't go on that path where then you get a sitcom. Hmm, which I did. You know, it was a certain thing. It's like an all-offer.

I don't know, you know. It was a certain thing. It's like an all-offer. You know, you, I don't know what you do. You pass the bar, then you handle the cases, then then make your partner. It was like, you had to do the tonight, you had to become a partner. Right. And also, I loved it. I mean, I loved him.

Mm-hmm. He was a Midwestern fuck like you. Yeah, he, uh... He was, uh, I was around him a couple times. There used to be a place on San Monica. I don't know if still might be there. And I was there a couple nights and he was there. He was drinker. Oh, yes. And a mean one. Yeah. Yeah. You remember the name Bushkin? That was his lawyer, Henry Bushkin. And he used to, in the monologue, he would always talk about my, my lawyer, Bumbastic Bushkin.

Oh yeah. Remember that? Yeah, okay. So, Bumbastic Bushkin and Henry Bushkin wrote a book about Johnny, like 10 years ago. It's awesome. It really rings true. Like because it doesn't cover up the bad, but it acknowledges the good.

But you know, it does make you think about the Midwest and like where he came from and how. He Bushkins does something like Johnny's mother was as cold as that Nebraska wind. And it went through him. He never got her, never got her approval. And Bush can also say, as at one point, Johnny says to him, like, you know, something, something, something, because come on, you're my best friend.

And Bush and was like, we're friends. Yeah. Well, you know, I, you said something that, you know, I've heard just a lot in my life, I bet you have to since I'm older than you. Yeah, someone's older than me. I know. It's nice feeling, right? Re-book him. I know, I'm the oldest guy in the room. But, you know, people wanting their parents approval, that never even dawned on me. Come on, really? Why, I couldn't like them?

No, there were five kids in the family and... Come on. You didn't want to make your father proud? Matter of fact, it was like, you know, you grew up saying you're I did. Yeah. What time is dad going to be home? I'm going to make sure I'm gone. You know, what time's, you know. My father worked nights, so he was never home.

That was good for you then. No, because my father wasn't, doesn't sound like he was the idiot. Your father was. Your father's son's terrible. My father was. If you don't want to be there when your father's there. Why? They're just people.

Yeah, but yeah, but what? I've never heard anybody like I've never been married. I'm not exactly known as a family. But even I acknowledge that there is familial roots we cannot deny. I mean, your father's in you. Yeah, yeah, I got it. We are our parents, I got it. Right. Yeah, Bill, I got that part. But I got that part. Well, so how long did you have your father? He's still alive, he's not in.

Your father's still alive? 93, I talked to him today. Wow, talk about it. Twist in the story. Wow, that's pretty great to have your father still alive when you're over 70. And do you talk about like prostate problems and stuff like two old people can talk about?

No, no, no, no. What are you talking about? A family. He'll tell me stuff about the family that I didn't know that this happened or that happened. So you don't dislike him? I never said I dislike him. I said you didn't want to be around when he was...

I said I didn't give a fuck what they thought. As a teenager. No, you said you wanted to take back. You said you... You said you... No, I'm not, I was quoting you. I said my father wasn't there because he worked nights and you were like lucky you.

Mom, when my father came home, I tried not to be there. Yeah, that's right. That's right. That doesn't mean I just liked him. I didn't want to have to follow his rules. What were his rules? A bunch of them.

I mean, you could imagine. I mean, the generate, you were there. The whole culture was shifting. I was part of that young culture. You were fighting authority and authority was always winning. Yes. Right from the beginning. Something that was fucking you. Yeah, that's right.

And then you became a giant rock star. So in a way, your father, even though we didn't plan it that way, because rock is rolling. Okay, just to shut you up and say you on the right path, here's what happened with my father. I got married when I was in high school, right? They did not like that. That wasn't the plan for John. I got married when I was in high school.

I didn't talk to... I went to college. He didn't give me a dime. Had nothing to do with me going to college. When I got out of college, I immediately got a record of you like that. And I got a phone call from my dad. My dad was vice president and Robin's electric, which built the Astrodome, built Disney World, Disney Land, big contractor, big electrical contractor. Like Delweb. I don't even know what that is. But it's another one they built a lot.

Yeah. So anyway, I get a call from my dad. And he says, John, we need to get together and talk. I said, Dad, we don't really have anything to talk about. And he said, yeah, we do. And I said, so we talked for the Blunderphone. And so I agreed to meet my dad in Nashville, Indiana, which was a little town at a hotel, in a hotel restaurant.

And we go there and dad's in his suit, and he's driving his Jaguar, which I was totally against at that time, you know, all that crap. And we sat down in a bench, we ordered, and then my dad gets up out of his seat, comes over and gets down on one knee. I'm sitting here and gets down on one knee right there and he says, John, whatever I've done that you feel was wrong for you and I held you back or I hurt you in some fashion. I apologize and I hope you forgive me. And what could I say? My dad. And I said, okay, and that was probably 1975. We have not had a crossword since But you married the girl

Yeah, I was I I stuck off and got married I But he was still okay with that after the discussion. Yeah, yeah Yeah, cuz time had gone by well, I pictured your I mean your father Jaguar suit I pictured your father not knowing anything about your father with an overalls with a pitchfork. I know, but that's kind of your image and your far made and you know, that's your image of me. That's what my image contributed by things you've sung about. I mean, so many of your songs and I love them. I have three of them in my walk-in music

when I go on the road. There's only 12 songs there. I hear them all year long. Great, thank you. Yeah, thank you. And one of them is the Americans. Really? Because I want to get the audience in the mood of like,

these are the... You're the only person in a room that knows that song. No, well, my audience does. And our country. Because, like, the audience does, and our country. Because like, again, I'm picking songs. They're not all overtly political, but I do have largely, you've been to my show. The political show, I want the audience in the mood.

And so like, this is our country is perfect. I'm an American from the Midwest. You're not afraid to just say exactly who you are, which I love about you. You know, I wear jeans and I do this. So. You understand that those songs, like that song right there, is the idea of how we see each other,

not how we really are. Which one? Both of them. Both of them. It's not who we are,. Which one? Both of them. Both of them. It's not who we are, but who we. It's aspiration. Who we pretend to be. Yeah, you have one on one of your recent ones,

the so-called free land. The land of the so-called free. Yeah, I mean, that's cynical. Yeah, I'm cynical. Right. Me too. But I also think perspective is so important. And like, is anyone on Earth completely free?

Of course not. Relatively, we're pretty free, this country. I mean, and I say that as someone who used to bitch a lot about the fact that pot wasn't legal, among other things that make this country unfree. But that was the one that affected me. I deeply resented having to sweat bullets every time I went through an airport because some fucking dog might smell the pot behind my nuts.

And it's like, this is not, and of course, that wasn't right. And it isn't free. But then you see what happens in Russia. And you see what happens. And, you know, Saudi Arabia, the fucking kill. You will hold them for a second. You know, the divorce rate in the United States is higher. I mean, the divorce rate in Russia,

I believe is higher than the divorce rate in the United States. Or I'm sure. Why would you be sure of that? Because they're very unhappy people because... What? Because they're running a joint. What? Because Putin's running the joint.

Because Putin's running the joint. And also because they're drunk. They drink way too much vodka. So, you know, any... I mean, why did pro-ambition take hold in America? You know why? Yes, I know why. Well, I'll tell the audience.

Because women were fed up with men... Beating the fuck out of them. And not working and passing out on the lawn. Yeah, I mean, it was like... Being the fuck out of the kids. What? They beat the fuck out of the kids and they beat the fuck out of the women. Right.

And it was like, oh shit, he's home. Ah! Now you know why it's like... Ah! Ah! Ah! Did it? My dad didn't drink.

But it was just like, you know... Oh, you didn't drink. No. Oh. No, you never drink it. I... No, it's... I've never seen him smoke a cigarette.

I've never seen him drink. And you don't drink either? No. Wow. No, I've never did? Oh, I did. I remember you drinking milk after the show when I saw you. Yeah, probably.

No, I have a good story of why I quit drinking. You wanna hear? Yeah. We got nothing but time. Okay. And I love your stories. So, on the college, right? I had long hair.

My favorite thing to do was to get stoned and drink whiskey. Oh, you got stoned? Yeah, I used to. Good. I'd get stoned and drink whiskey and then go find the biggest guy I could find and start fighting. Wow. Well, it was really fun for me. The adrenaline rush and it was like, okay, I never won.

I said, stop like that. Maybe one or two out of a hundred. Oh, you know, God, I always got my ass kicked. But one night I went to a little college in Vincent's Indiana, and I was with my friend. I'm loaded, I'm potted up, I'm fucking drank at Pinewisky by myself. And I sat down in the bar next to the biggest guy

I could find and spill that in. Oh, Jesus. So that's why I don't drink. But what happened was the guy goes, what the fuck? And so I said, you know, fuck you, you know, what are you going to do about it? He said, I'll take your little last outside and beat hell. I said, well, let's go. So I said, why go outside?

So I was, I was a prick. You know those guys used to walk around like this and stay right here and you'd go fucking yeah that was me. So anyway we go out back he beats the fuck out of I mean I got up the next well anyway so he beats the fuck out of me the guy that that that I was with comes and gets me like a wet rag, puts me in a pinto, an old pinto, we're driving back to the house we lived in. My hair was this long. I was hippie that I was not into peace in love.

I was theoretically hippie. Yeah. theoretically a hippie. Anyway, so I'm leaning like this on the car, he's driving, I'm leaning like this out the car window. And we go over this railroad track and the car door opens. I fall out of the fucking car. My hair gets wrapped around the thing that connects, you know, blocks the car. My hair gets wrapped around the thing that connects, you know, the blocks the car. And he's driving down the fucking road. He's have drunk and stoned. And I go, stop the fucking car, stop the car. And he's dragging me down the road. Oh my God. So I just got

beat up. Then the guy I'm with is so drunk that he can't see that I have fallen out of the car. I get back to my house, I go to bed, I get up the morning, next morning Bill, I was unrecognizable to myself. My orbits around my eyes, the guy had beat the shit out of me. I had road rash all over my legs, I had scratches here and I looked at myself and I just went, this drug and alcohol thing, it's not working for you. I have a few questions about this. First of all, in this condition of what must have been extreme pain, you fell asleep. Yeah. I was fucked up. I was so fucked up that, you know, that, you know, you've been high enough, you just went

bugging. You put it not after I was beating up and dragged by a car. I mean, if you've been beat up and like, no, this is my other question. That's what I thought. Well, I mean, I have questions about why you felt the need to want this on you. But first, I'd just like to ask about the actual feeling of a fight, because yes, I've avoided fist fights. I don't feel like it's because I'm a total coward, but you know, I'm not looking for fights

either. And I seem to always be able to talk my way out of one. Yeah, I didn't think about that. talk my way out of one. Yeah, I didn't think about that. I didn't. I know. You obviously saw it for no reason, which is really psychologically interesting, that you would seek to be beat up.

I mean, if it wasn't another... No, no, no, no. I didn't think I was gonna lose. I always thought I was gonna win. Really? Yeah. But you're not a big guy. Yeah, but I thought I was a tough guy.

You're like my dog, Chico. Yeah, probably. He's like this big and he just thinks he can fucking take on the world. Yeah, he stands in the driveway every night for an hour and it's completely quiet here wherever I live and he just barks for an hour at nothing. Fuck you, I'm Chico, I'm here, and don't try any shit.

This is my house, you know, for an hour. Yeah, that's me, that was me. Okay, so, and, but all of that, however, all of that changed when I quit using drugs alcohol. But what fermented this furnace of anger inside you that you would want? But you want a melon camp. Really you think it's the DNA?

Absolutely. My uncle was the toughest guy and see more Indiana. Play football for IU, big tough guy. My grandfather was a big tough guy. My dad's a big tough guy. And you know, I'm just like, that's what I'm saying. That is a big tough guy. Yeah, I hit my dad one time.

I was 17 and he called me in a big lie. And at 17, my dad was only 20 years old with me. He was 37. And I thought, I can take the old man. Wow. Sorry. Punched him. And he looked at me and he went, He was 37 and I thought I could take the old man. Wow. Sorry. Punched him and he looked at me and he went,

are you kidding me? And he beat the fuck out of him. My life is so much less dramatic than yours. You know, I grew up on the mean streets of Bergen County, New Jersey. Okay, not mean streets, but circular driveways. I mean, we weren't rich, we weren't poor, we were like middle of the middle.

And I always felt like, oh, everybody had the same upbringing, but plainly, that's not the truth. No, you know, in the Midwest and in any small towns, there's not much to do except settle-o scores. And no, you think we lived in Shangri-La under Jersey? It was the same thing. America is the same all over.

It really is. I mean, there's pockets that are different. Obviously, the cities. It's not really about region. It's about city or country. That's the difference in America. Even Alabama has cities. And they're looking behave mostly like cities elsewhere. And the people out, even 20 miles out,

then you're in Trump country. Certainly if you're in Alabama. But also, I mean, California, all of the area of California, above San Francisco, to get to Oregon is Trump country. That could be a state, it's a big, you know, California is huge. That could be a state and it would just be, you know,

a truck. It's the same bloomington. I mean, Indiana universities there, you've been there. That's where we met, yeah. And, you know, that whole community is liberal thinking and then you get outside of town, you know who knows what you're gonna run into. Everybody's always busy and it's hard to find wholesome convenient meals for jam-packed days. Factor America's number one ready to eat meal kit can help you fuel up fast with meals delivered straight to your door. So you'll save time, eat well, and stay on track with your healthy lifestyle.

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And the what? The Craype Soul. Craype like a like shoe. Like shoe. Craype Crap, what's shoe? Crap is a material that they used to put on the bottom of shoes. Well, you're educating me, I don't know. Exactly. Crap? Anyway. Have one of your work. Why is that a name for a band?

Well, there's a whole story behind that. We had three names. Crapes' soul was everybody's least favorite. We flipped a fucking coin and if it landed in the crack of the wood, it's gonna be the Crapesol. The thing went around and it landed in the crack of the wood. You know, if I was in a band called Crapesol, I would purposely get my hair stuck in a car and get dragged down the road because that's a terrible name. You have to back up. I was 14 years old and everybody else in the band was in their 20s.

Wow. Really? Yeah. I mean, I was going in clubs, night clubs, fraternity sororities, 14 years old, singing. You were like Michael Jackson, the Jackson Five. You were the young one. They knew you were the talent. Well, no, I co-sign with the kid named Fred Booker who was about four or five years older than me. He was black. So I learned a lot about race real quick in 1965, 1966, because they

loved us on stage because half the band was black half was white. They loved us on stage It's when we came off stage What I joined the band bill I was issued a gravity knife Gravity knife. Yeah, what's that? It's kind of like a switchblade, but you just go like that. Okay, and then I've pups out through gravity To stab other band members? No, to stab the fucking audience. Really?

For the audience? Yeah, because, you know, wow. And I was not familiar with how hateful people were to black people until I was in the grapes hole. And that's what I, more than learning how to sing or to dance or anything like that, I learned about hatred. Okay, so let's go to 2023.

Is that now? That's now. Okay. Like, I'm not being naive when I write, when I say that would not happen in 2023. You're asked, it would. You think so? Absolutely. Tell me why.

Why do I think that? Yeah. I... Yeah. I had... 2023. Yeah. And you have two? No, I have... Yeah, you turn the fucking news on, you'll see it. She what? Racist comments, racist... Yeah. No doubt there is still races in America. Absolutely. We're talking about inner city in the music industry and I'm guessing a fairly young crowd or a music loving crowd, they just don't strike me as people who in 2023 say those kind of things or even feel that way. Have you ever heard a rap song?

Yes. Okay. What about it? Me and Chuck D did a song 20 years ago. 20 years ago was 20 years ago. Yeah, but we were talking about the N word. We were talking about how it's not supposed to be used and how it's not supposed to be. I mean, that's what I have against, not against, but you know why I'm not supposed to be. That's what I have against, not against, but why I'm not a big fan of rap music. It's like you guys are selling out what the people stood up for and fought for,

and you're making money off of it, some of them are white kids. Right. And I like it. Yeah. And I like it. The colors. Yeah, it's wrong.

And so Chuck D and I did a song. He just, I wrote the song and then he wrapped in the middle of it and he just said, die and we're die. And that's, that's right. Just give me an example and then I'll get off this. But I'm just curious of a recent example in the last couple of years, specifically of a incident of racism that you saw like on tour or something that is in this.

I have a 29 year old son. He's one of his best friends, his black. Right? They went somewhere in Los Angeles. The guy got an argument with this little skinny black kid. We did for him to walk outside of the bar and ran over a gilded. I'm just more of a fucking example to you. I mean, yeah, I'm not denying that things like that happen in this country. Well, but I'm just saying it's not any better.

I mean, you may want to know what we're arguing about. and things like that happen in this country. Well, but I'm just saying, it's not any better. I mean, you may want to. Well, that's what we're arguing about. I think we're not arguing about anything. We're having discussion. You know, we're disagreeing. No, and that's okay. Yeah, yeah, it's okay to disagree. You say it in one of your songs.

Freedom of speech. Yeah, right. I wrote a song that I never recorded because I felt it was wrong, but it was called from the fucking cotton fields to the plague fields. You know? That was wrong, but it was called from the fucking cotton fields to the plague fields. Yeah. So my point is, is that, yeah, so what?

Well, I would say that. That's why people love to have black people entertain us. I would say that the playing fields are a lot better than the cotton fields. That's what I would say about that. Maybe I'm crazy, John, but it seems like making no money as a slave picking cotton was not as good as playing left fields for the Yankees. I mean, I'm sure there were, you know, regions where I'm saying, no doubt. No doubt.

There is one or two percent of black people in America who have a better life. Oh, stop. That's what you think? 1 or 2%. Okay, let's say 10%. I'm just pulling a number out of my ass. It is, that's where it belongs. Hey, I just pull a number out of my ass.

I know, but I'm telling you, that's just not true. But, you know. Well, okay, well, I mean, to listen, we do have statistics. Talk to my son. He'll tell you. Well, he saw one very horrific incident. Maybe that has colored his thinking.

Well, what do you think that's only incident that happens? Of course not. And it isn't, but again, the FBI has data on hate crimes. The FBI. Oh, they're in on it. No, they're not in on it. But it's like the government, trust the government. I don't trust those fucking people.

I'm one of you in your term. No, I've been often skeptic of lots of things about the government. But do I think the FBI is making up hate crime statistics? No, do I think they're exactly as they present them? No, I don't. Okay, if they're exactly as they present them? No, I don't because okay, if they're not making them up and they're not presenting them honestly, what are you so? Where in the middle? For example, they found out like a year ago that the coroners were kind of in goots with the cops

on reporting deaths when police kill somebody. I believe it. Right. So there's an, what I'm saying, I'm acknowledging. It's not exactly the data that they're always giving us. And it was, yeah, it was infused with that would be systemic racism. I'm saying we have moved on from that, not completely, but and the FBI is not the cops.

So when the FBI compiles data on from that, not completely, but and the FBI is not the cops. So when the FBI compiles data on hate crimes, I'm like, yeah, this might be roughly where it is. I don't think it's crazy off. I think they actually, I mean, I think they're mostly FBI people or squares, and there's plenty of people of color in the FBI. Now, they've also had complaints about racism. Plenty of, yes, as there about racism. Plenty of, plenty of.

Yes, as there is everywhere. Plenty of cops. They're valid. Plenty of, plenty of guys. Plenty of black people are ahead of police departments across the United States. And we're going to have to disagree on this. Yeah, and we can.

Yeah, I just, I just, I just, I, Do you think I'm going to throw you out? No, I just think that, I just, I just I just I think I'm gonna throw you out. No, I just think that I just I just think that that Being open-minded about what's really going on in the streets as as we said here. Oh, I'm open-minded. Are you? Do you do you really think our government is as improved? I think they said they killed Kennedy Do you really think that well that really think that Oswald killed Kennedy? Wait, wait, wait. That's such a broad question.

Our government has improved. What parts of it? Any of it. Any of it. Any of it. Any of it. Any of it. No, it's pretty politically we have gone downhill.

Yeah. There's no doubt about that. Absolutely. That doesn't mean people's lives are worse, because culture is a different thing. And America has moved on a lot, culturally, which includes race, gender, homosexuality. I mean, homosexual marriage, gay marriage was on the ballot in 35 states, up until about 2014. It failed in everyone.

And then the Supreme Court said it was the law of the land. You don't see that that is progress. You don't see that things are different. It's not perfect, but we made it. Here's my answer to that. I mean, you're so cynical. Here's my... I can't believe I'm saying that.

Here's my answer to that. It's about fucking time. Okay, well great. We'll elect you the timekeeper then. Of course, It's about fucking time. Okay, well great. We'll elect you the time keeper then. Of course it's about fucking time. Everybody's laid on everything. We're, as Joe Friday used to say on Dragonet, we're recruiting from the human race.

Yes, we're all schmucks and we're all laid. Obama was laid on gay marriage. Kennedy was laid on civil rights. Lincoln was laid on slavery. Everybody's always laid. Biden's laid now on pot. Everybody's fucking late. Hold on for a second. I, unlike you, do not believe a fucking single word that comes out of any of that. I just don't believe it. You don't believe gay marriage was illegal and then became... No, no, I believe that.

Okay. But I don't believe anything that the government reports. Nothing? Nothing. Like the unemployment figures? That's what Trump said. Maybe. Trump, Trump, when he ran the first time,

I mean, it's Trump. So you have to like just use it for comic effect, but like the unemployment rate is saying it's 4%. It could be as high as 35%. Yeah, 40%. That's, hold it right out of his ass. That's not what I'm saying. What are you saying?

What do you think the unemployment rate is? I have no fucking idea, but I think. But you think it's wrong with what they were telling us. What, whatever it is is, is probably I have no fucking idea, but I think. You think it's wrong with them what they were telling us. Whatever it is is probably a lie. I don't trust the government. I do. You trust the government? I trust the people who work in the deep state.

I trust these fucking bureaucrats. Yes, I do. The people with stale pizza on their desk and cold coffee who just do the job of making sure that your life is as cushy as it fucking is and most people's lives are, because a lot of nameless, faceless people doing boring jobs do things like, yes, compile data on unemployment.

I do, I trust those stats generally. And so, I suppose you trust science also, right? It depends on what science you're talking about. Bill, when we were kids, in the 70s, we were going to enter an ice age by the year 2000. This is all scientific bullshit, look it up. I understand. I know where you're going with this.

And it was like, what? It's not gonna happen. Right now, that right now, climate change to me is the core of the fucking earth, heating up. I agree, I've always been on that page. You know, and a piece of fucking plastic laying in the street is not gonna make a goddamn bit of difference.

We are not going to kill this or it's going to kill us. Right, well that's what we're trying to avoid. Well, that's what George Carlin used to say, and I never understood it or agreed with it. He used to be like, people who are worried about the earth, the earth will be fine. Yeah, the earth. I don't, it's not the fucking earth that I'm worried about. It's my ability to live on the earth. And you're right. that's what's going. Bill, you and I are too lucky, fucks. Yes. We are living on the earth as...

We're living. Yeah, as comfortable as people could ever expect to live. Exactly. Exactly. And part of the reason we live so comfortably is because, again, is our government shit, yeah, in a way it never has been before. No, no, no. But it also is more functioning than most places on Earth.

I mean, the toilets, the roads are paved. Bill, the reason you and I are living the life that we live is because ultimately and finally, we don't give a fuck. I give a fuck. No, you don't. About what? About anything. I can't fight about a lot of things.

I don't give a fuck about anything. I give a fuck about staying healthy. I give a fuck about keeping my job. I say I don't give a fuck. I mean, I don't care if the guy in front of me doesn't take off the men at the light turn screen. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! What's up people do? Ah! Ah! I'm been in LA for 10 days. I've had more fucking porn awking on the lightest turn red than I heard in the last five years in Indiana. I thought you were going to say something super profound.

No. And you did like a Woody Allen on me. Yeah. Like when Woody Allen would be like, I don't know the meaning of the universe, but they've got to figure out alternate street of the blocking on Wednesday. You just do one of those kind of jokes. Yeah.

Well, I, you know, we didn't rule on this, but it really is a real thing. They should build into the traffic light, a hornhunk. Because no, really, because you have to hunk, build into the traffic light, a hornhunk. Because no, really. Because you have to hunk, because everyone cannot help but look at their phone in the one half of a minute that they have, because they're so important, they need to check.

Do you? No. I don't either. Of course not. He'll never say, I don't even have a fucking phone. Will you own one, don't you? I own one, but I don't. It's for my convenience. Oh, that's why I can't get old. That's that's not but it's for my convenience. It's not for right me too. I have a

girlfriend. And I look at I go, what the fuck are you doing on that phone? I can't believe that. You have a girlfriend? I'm sorry, it's hard to believe. I know. She has a really... Who's your girlfriend? She has a really high threshold for tolerance.

Huh? Who's your girlfriend? You don't know her. Yeah, I know, a subscriber I'm saying. Who is she? She's like... She's a beautiful 57 year old woman that I met about who just walked into my apartment in New York unexpectedly. Walked into your apartment?

Yeah, she was with some friends. Oh, I see. She was with a couple of friends. She walked in. She didn't know I was going to be there. I didn't know she was there. And we met each other and it was... How long ago was it?

Seven months ago. And she has not left my side in seven months. It's, well, of course, you're in the golden period. People are always talking about relationships. You know, they're good for at a certain time. And I'm always like spoiler alert, the beginning. It's not a mystery why. There's nothing like seven months, right?

Yeah, listen, it's been great. She's not, you know, I have no absolute, I mean, I, she's never even got angry at me then. You've been around me, what, 20 minutes? LAUGHTER And already, I am not angry. I'm loving every minute of it. And you're already pissed on like fucking hell, I'm thrilled you're here.

Totally thrilled. I'm so appreciative, really. Because I thought we were friendly there for a while. Like you came to my show, it came to your show, and then we stopped dating. Now I think it's the number thing. Like, you came to my show, it came to your show, and then we stopped dating. Ha-ha-ha. No, I think it's the number thing. One of us changed our number. You're with me?

Yeah, thanks, sir. Oh. Ha-ha-ha. I think so. You know, I am bitching, bitching, bitching, and that it's me. Typical. Yeah, I, uh, well, I've had the same phone number for...

Oh. 150 years. Ha-ha-ha. Do you know that my sister lives in a condo that my mother moved in after my father died with my sister, and they kept the number that we had in the house when I was a child. And my sister still has the number I had when I was, you know, two years old. I guess, I wonder. Yeah. I think that's great.

But it is almost like, you wish you could preserve that. It's almost the kind of an artifact of time. It's just a phone number. But do you remember the phone number that you had when you were a kid? I'm telling you, my sister still has it. I know. Oh, of course.

Do you want me to say it on the air? No. No, I'm just saying, make me think, you know. Of course, it's like after my social security number is my identity. Ask a young person or so security number. Yeah. They don't know what social security is. There's no need for it because there won't be anyone to get there.

No, but there is a need to not like raise an entire generation of nudniks who just I'm not talking about IQ. I'm sure they still have IQs, but they just don't learn anything, anything. Like they just, the collapse of our educational system is truly stunning. I mean, they do talk about it a lot in the present, but I think when we look back on this time, it will be stunning to historians. How far we let it go down. I mean, there was a time when people would graduate high school knowing like Greek and Latin. Oh, yeah. You had to have it to get it in the college. I mean,

they wouldn't, even when I went, when we went, you couldn't get out, they wouldn't give you the diploma to get out of high school, unless you knew some shit, like basic shit in life. Like you had to have passed math and, you know, English and science and, and I feel like when I talk to younger people, I think they don't know anything. Like certainly not history.

I cannot speak on that because there were 325 kids in my graduating class, Seymour High School. Seymour? And I graduated 286. I was, I was seven out of 410. Show off. Deal with that. Show off. Show off. Deal with that. Show off.

Show off. Seven. We would pick on you and high school. Are you totally would? You totally would. We would have picked on you and high school. I was picked on. Really?

I spent my whole life, my whole life, my whole school life, nervous, because I was not the kid who was most picked on, but I was sometimes picked on. I was like the alternate pick cut kid. When they got tired of, for some reason, they drove that kid to like staying home or something, they would, there's no reason. Kids are feral.

That's the book, The Lord of the Flies. Why were they picking on you? Did book, The Lord of the Flies. But why were they picking on you? Did you read The Lord of the Flies? Yeah, I know the story. Love it when you're fed up with me. Yeah, I got it. I'm with you. Anyway, but that's how kids are.

Kids are worse than Nazis. They are. I mean, kids have to be 12. I remember you're not answering the question. Why? I am answering questions. I'm saying there's no reason why they pick on a kid. You know why?

Because they somehow sense, because they don't know shit, but they sense weakness. And they go, oh, let's exploit that. Okay, that's my point. Let's, let's do it. And you just asked me 20 minutes ago, you go, well, why did you fight all the time? Because somebody started picking on me

if I couldn't fucking whip him. My two friends and me could. So after a while, nobody picked on me. I mean, it's great to have a Joe Pashy personality. I'm not denying that's a great thing and I wish I had it, but I just, I don't have that personality. I mean, I, I, um, yeah,

and maybe it's because of that upbringing, maybe because I was so scared. I always had a knot in my stomach going to school. Never, I never had one. Never. Never. I couldn't wait to get to school. We should do a road version of the odd couple.

You are a perfect Oscar. And what a perfect feeling. Right. You know the odd couple. Yes, I see. I saw the fucking movie. I'm talking to you like you're one of those teenagers and I know anything.

I've seen them in the movie. You are exactly that guy, the smoking. Perfect. What? No, for the Oscar, he was the rough, hewn, you know, and I feel like he was the person that, you know, sort of, you know, like, sort of semi-intellectual, you know, when he said I'm stupid. No, Oscar was not stupid, but he was rough. And yeah, I mean, listen, I am admittedly I am a walking contradiction. Everybody is.

Yeah, but I really am. Yeah, you know what, whenever a reviewer of like a biography wants to like just hand it in and get back to the bar, make your theme, he was a contradiction. Every fucking human is a contradiction. It's the easiest, most cliche thing to like hang on your biography. That's the, you know, Janice, you know, the Roman goddess that has the two

faces, we often see them as. Yes, Bill. Yes, Bill, I know. Forget the on couple. This is more like the sunny and share show. And I think I'm share. I'm you a definite share. Yeah, because I'm taller. You're not taller than me. Oh, I'll take out just enough to beat you. And then, no, no, no. All right, I guess when the show ends and we're, we're able to get up, you got to take those fucking really high shoes off.

Girlie high shoes. How tall are you? Five nine. You're five nine? Yeah. Oh, then you're taller than me, I'm five eight. Well, I might be five eight nine. Yeah!

Ha! Ha! I might be five eight. Do you think we shrink when we get older? Absolutely. Do. Oh, shit. Yeah.

I don't... When does it start? Let me ask you a question. 70, I'm open. Let me ask you a question. What do you give a fuck? What do you give a fuck? When does it start? To measure your question. It's 70, I'm home. To measure your question. What do you give a fuck? What do you give a fuck if you're 585957? I don't.

I don't give a cheque. Well, I mean, it would have been nicer if I was 62, but God fucked up. Why? God fucked up. No, no, no. God fucked up. Do you imagine? I was supposed to be 62.

No. You put in the request. No, no, no. They prayed on it. What is so great about six two? I used to see six two guys. No, it's not. How do you figure that? Because chicks like it better.

No, they do not. Well, they don't. It's not a deal breaker, but yes, in general, they would rather you be six two. No, they would not. Why are you wrong on everything? Of course they would. No, you're speaking from the position of a privileged, you were a giant rock star.

Of course they didn't care you were 5'8". You could have been 2'8". Prince got more pussy than anybody, and he was 3'2". You could carry him in your hand on the bed to it. Bill, why are you using those words around me? I'm not cursing around you. What cursing?

Perse, using the word pussy. I mean, that's... Who's a pussy? You said they got more pussy and I'm going, why are you... Well, you got more pussy. Yeah, well, you can't say pussy. I don't know, I'm above that. I'm sure you were above it many thousands of times.

As my point, you're a rock star. So, yes, they don't care how tall you are. And you still got that pomfinger. That's awesome at your age. I gotta give it to you for that. That you can still get your hair to look the John Mellon camp look. No, I set my hair over my eyes.

That's bad, not who, no one like that. This was your best look. It was? Yes, and you still kinda got it. I still do. Yeah. I go for it in like this. Hey, you're the king of age appropriate. So you're on the opposite.

They're talking about 57 is age appropriate that you're a big hero for that to women. I'm a villain. What do you like dating teenagers? Not teenagers. No, not teenagers. That would be ridiculous. But you would if you could though. No, no, no. You know that song, Seely Dan has Hay 19. What do you think of it? I think it was written in a different time.

I was just talking to somebody the other day and I said listen to the lyrics to this song. And it says, hello, Clint. Put both your feet on it. I can see that you're only 15 years old, but I don't want your ID. And I thought, if you wrote that today. Oh, all of early rock was just, will Farrell wanted to hysterical bid on SNL where he was like a, they were selling tapes of the 50s, 50s rock singers. Every song was like, you're 12 years old and I wanted it. It was just, I made just didn't care. Even when I was a kid, my first listen

to music in 1968, Gary Puckett and the Union gap had a big hit with Young Girl. Get out of my mind. Get out of my mind. My love for you was way out of line and In the song my love is way out of line and no one cared no one tried to stop it. No one thought it was a right to be pulled you you saw You saw almost famous yes, of course that's the way it was in my before the computers you remember that Very much, okay, you remember that? Very much. Okay. I was like to computers. So was I.

And email. I don't even have one. You don't have email? No. I can barely keep up with text. You skipped right to text. Yeah, I just text. But back then, there used to be a page in the back of the book that gave the age of consent

in every state. Right. For the band to know what the age of consent was. You mean the rock stars guide to America? No, it was our tour books. Okay, you're staying in his hotel. Right. Right.

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Hey Texas, uncommon to see you live in person. First Austin, Friday, September 1st, I'll be at the ACL live at the Mooney Theater in downtown Austin. Then on Saturday, September 2nd, I'm coming to the Texas Trust CU Theater in Grand Prairie Texas between Dallas and Fort Worth, but you know that. And then Friday, September 15th, and Saturday, September 16th, the David Copperfield Theater at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.

Get your tickets at the link on our channel or go to BillMarne.com. It was a woman who came out probably when at the time that David Bowie died, which was like six years ago. She said that she lost her virginity to David Bowie, and she was underage. I think she was 15 or something 16. But she went to great lengths to emphasize that if it was not a bad experience at all, that she doesn't regret it. She described him as a gentle, considerate,

knowledge of a lover, and he was wearing a kimono. So this chick loses her virginity to David Bowie in a kimono, and he's good. And of course, the usual suspects were all over this, because how could she know better than we, about what's appropriate and what feels good? And no, you shouldn't change the law so that people can have sex with someone under age, but also acknowledge one person's personal story. It is not always

apparently a nightmare. Let's make it the David Bowie law. If you can do it with David Bowie. You can do it with anybody. But you know, our great grandparents and stuff, people were getting married to 14, 14, 15 years old. And, and, and, and, I, I, it's a little, yeah, maybe in your part of the country, but I mean, yes. No, well, I had a housekeeper that, I think she got married when she was 13 and she was still married. She was an older woman and you know she got married when she was 13. Now there are people who love grandkids at 40. I did.

A grand kid at 40? I had one at 36. You had a grand kid at 36? I just told you a little bit ago that I got married when I was a senior. I know. Okay, but I didn't know you quickly had a kid. Why do you think I got married? And then, you go, oh, I want to get married.

And when I was in high school, yeah, there was like, it's pregnant. And she was five years older than me. You know, three of the Beatles did that. Did what? Married the girl because they got her pregnant. They did the right thing. So you're in good companies what i'm saying well i'm telling you that there were a lot of people that did that besides me yes no no just because you were having sex at that age bill doesn't mean i thought i was just you and the Beatles. No. Whoa. Mine blown.

Okay, but you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I know. I know where you're hitting around. Yeah. So that is a mine blown. I think I was 36. 36 to be a grandfather. Yeah. So your kid had a pal was your kid when she had a baby.

19 or 20? 19 or 20. Isn't it interesting the way families go in cycles, you know, the sins and the attributes that are good seem to carry on over to the next generation. I mean, when it's bad, of course, it's bad because cycles like of abuse continue through generations, not to defend Arkali because I don't. But he was abused, you know, as a kid. And that's not uncommon that abusers were abused. Yeah, that, you know, that word abuse gets thrown around pretty fucking. That's true, too. Pretty loosely, you know. Yeah. I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I think that, I need to see a

finger in the asshole to say it. I don't know what that means. You don't have to finger in the ass. Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, you're the rock star? Oh, I think you very much know what it means. No, I, I, there's not a swimming party after this, is there? I mean, rock. They're not a swimming party. There is a pool. No, dream on. Okay, I, I, I have a question for you. Yeah. So I watch a show. No, no, thank you.

And I see you press your belt buckle all the time. Press it? Yeah. You stand. You do this. I do. And you get busy with this hand and all this stuff. You just turn the model on?

Yeah. And what are you pressing on your belt buckle? You know what? First of all, thank you for telling me that because I have a terrible habit, which is unprofessional, mostly I'm very professional. I don't watch myself. You should.

You should watch your own show. See what you're doing right or wrong. So when I get a piece of information like this, it's very valuable. So I thank you. Because I don't know I'm doing that. I don't want to be doing that. It looks like... Looks like what? It looks like... It's terrible, doesn't it?

No, no. It looks like you're controlling the teleprompter. Oh my God. It looks like you're controlling, because you're going like... I don't, but what a great idea. Put a remote in my dick. I'm not in your control, it's like right here, and you'll be talking, but you always, it's always this hand, you're always right, and then you go like that. And I think, is he pushing a fucking button to control the telepropter?

Because it'll go from one setup, you complete that, and then you'll do that, boom, and then you're back, and then you're talking some more, and then you'd like to do something with this hand, to draw attention, like a magician, and then all of a sudden, this hand is on that belt buckle again. I think he's got a fucking, he's got, he's got, he's got to tell me the teleprompter.

You trust me, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm not doing that, but I'm totally going to do that. It's genius, but it must be you know what it is. I think when I do that because it's stupid and lame Excuse me. I think the director probably cuts away at that moment and misses it so like I'm still touching my He's not okay, but I'm not buddy. I. Well, it's, he's not, okay. But I'm not, but I'm just telling you,

he's not cutting away. If I am exactly, it's my point. Because I caught it and it's something my girlfriend is like, it's a great director, but he can't cover for like somebody who's doing a stupid

tick on the air. So when I get back to work, if that ever happens, if this strike is ever resolved, I can't wait to address that. And you will not see some belt buckle pushing my friend. All you got to do is watch a couple of monologues and you'll see it. I won't. It's the problem, but I appreciate you telling me, because that's what friends do. What is the one thing that people like us who have everything we could remember dreamed of? Where we value above all else?

Honesty, right? True. You give me a truth and it's like a gift like you could I have everything I need I have 12 motorcycles wait no, I don't I don't do stupid shit like that But I got a nice place to live. I got, you know, friends. I got, give me a piece of truth, and it's better than a covered dish. Well, I, uh, I, on the other hand, don't trust anybody.

Don't believe anybody. Come on, yes you do. You believe me. Don't you believe me, everything I'm saying, that at least I believe, I believe. You don't think I'm faking anything, do you? I believe that you believe what you're saying. Well that's enough, that's all we can ever do.

Yeah, but that's all we can ever do. Look Bill, it can't ask for. Just because we think something doesn't make it true. No, of course not. Well, but most people think because they do think it, that, you know, George Bush was like a great president because they think that Trump is, because they think it doesn't make it true.

Well, I agree with that, and I agree with the example, but of course it happens on the other side too. Lots of people on both sides think stuff that isn't true, but they just want to believe it. And unfortunately, we live in a media world where they know they can make money feeding your myth back to you. Oh, yeah. On both sides.

Yeah. Used to be just one side. Used to be able to say, Fox News and their bubble, but there's two bubbles now. And it was inevitable. People in a bubble are gonna create their own bubble. Yeah. Or a different bubble, or I don't know, but there's too many bubbles.

I mean, there's basically two, but I feel like, you know, we used to have a country that was so much more communal. Just media, for example. We all watched. There was only three channels. And it was only a half hour long. I mean, Ed Sullivan was a variety show

because you had to do something for everybody because that's what the whole family watched. Mom and dad and the kids. So for mom, there was like Robert Goulays. You get for dad. I don't know there was like fucking jugulars or some shit. And for the kids, and I don't have credence clear water revival. Yeah. Here's young John Bellencamp. Yeah. Doing his big hit. Heard so great. Yeah. Some blank thread.

If you had done Ed Sullivan, that's my, you were a little too young to do Ed Sullivan, but I watched it. Yeah, but we watched it and we all watched it together. And I feel like it was so divided. And nobody has the same common experience. Everybody gets their own news feed. Like your personal, how about this? How about instead of talking about these mass shootings in schools that we start showing it? Show those kids. Show what a bullet

looks like going to a fucking five-year-old kid's head. That's what changed the Vietnam more. kids had. That's what changed the Vietnam War. Yeah. They started showing. You're right. They started showing combat and what was happening to 18-year-old kids and all of a sudden it was like, whoa, wait a fucking minute. Until if you're going to change your gun laws, start showing this shit. Don't say, and 18 kids were murdered because that just goes in and out because we're numb to it. But if we see it, that's going to change everything. The gun lobby will be like, fuck, we're fucked. So the news, the bunch of fucking cowards show it.

You're talking about it. You're giving us numbers. Show it. And you think they have the footage? Of course they do. Yeah, they could show it. You're talking about it. You're giving us numbers, show it. And you think they have the footage? Of course they do. Yeah, they could shoot it. Yeah. Of course. Yeah, you walk into fucking cops walking in there and it's like they're shooting everything. Right. It's there. They've got it. But show it. It didn't invent an arm. Well, I can tell you what would happen if they did show it. Every politician would tweet out that their thoughts and prayers. I said it in one of my songs. Yes, you did.

I said, I said, your thoughts and prayers are not going to help you fucking homeless. Right. Not going to help the homeless. So knock it off of that shit. Matter of fact, when I play that song in concert, I sometimes stop and I go, it just pisses me off when I hear that. Your thoughts and perhaps, fuck you. I mean, if we're really gonna be

comprehensive on the gun issue, any I would certainly agree with that thing about showing it, but there has to be much more comprehensive realistic view of why we have all these shootings among kids. And guns is a piece of the puzzle. But there's also guns in movies, the glorification of using guns in media, but the will kept just, like their issue on this is just guns, and it's also the drugs the kids are on.

I mean, RFK talks about this, and they're like, that's a crazy conspiracy theory. It is not a crazy conspiracy theory that in the last couple of generations, they put kids on all these psychotropic drugs. Ariana Huffington became famous talking about this one issue on my show first and everybody's show in the 90s. The kids were on Prozac. You get kids on a drug.

They're going to be on one kind of drug or another for the rest of their lives. Can't imagine my childhood. If my mind had all I had to deal with. All I'm saying is, is that a good place to start is to get these fucking guns away from people. Just because, just because it's the second amendment, change the, and people go,

you can't change the second amendment. Fuck you can't, it's an amendment, change it. Of course, But be realistic. That's never going to happen in America. Oh, if they start showing these fucking kids lying there dead, it will. I don't think so. I don't think that the people who love guns, love them on a level that we can't understand. It's primal. It's not just something that's an issue. It's personal. It's in your house. You touch it. It's like pot smokers are with pot. It's very in our personal space. And the idea of taking it away, I mean, liberals are always in this advantage with this issue

because it's not a visceral issue to say, you know, guns are bad. It's visceral to be like, this thing I like, they're going to take from me. I don't think you're ever going to change that. They're not going to rewrite this. Listen, listen, my point is, is that if you show what's really going on, it'll become like stoplights. I don't want to stop at a fucking stoplight. That's why it's the stoplight with you. But there it is, I got to fucking stop. And then people start honking. And people start fucking honking because they're looking at your God damn phone. That's right. It's so important. That's right.

See, that's what the really important thing to know about America, John, is that everyone in America is very important. Well, and you know, and you know, want to know something? Got to check that phone. You want to know something? And they are. Exactly. How ever. Exactly.

How ever. However, there has to be a certain amount of respect for other people and humanity that just right now is not existing. That's radical thinking, my friend. I'm a radical. I kind of are. I told the president. They wanted me to do a benefit.

Which president? I got to mention it. Not the current one. Not the current one or the one before. But before that. And he wanted me to do something for him and I just said, Hey, man, you're just not fucking liberal enough and I don't believe you're going to change anything.

Wow. And you never liked me after that. I don't blame it. Sounds like it was Obama. I played it Obama's inauguration. See, I'm a big Obama fan because I feel like he's realistic and unrealistic. I feel like your philosophy is less realistic. How do you figure it?

I mean, a logical guy, I know. Logic. Yeah, I mean the logic of perspective like you know yes we have aspirations toward things and then we have realistic ability to get to a certain place that's not the perfect place you know Obama used to say let's not let the perfect be the enemy of the good. I get it. I know you do. I get it. But here's my point. There is logic and there's emotion. And the problem is, is that people marry those things

together. Can't be that way. It's like believing in Jesus. Believing in Jesus. Right. That's an emotional decision. Okay, I feel like it's emotional decision of yours to say that you can't trust the department of labor

to tell me what they're. They're the government. See, that to me is emotional and not very logical. It's broad, it's very broad. It's not really, it's not really doing the work of getting into the weeds. Oh, the government is terrible. Let's get in the weed.

And get in the weeds and find out just how corrupt they are. That's exactly what's going to happen. I feel like the Department of Labor, again, is a lot of nerds, government, sincere government nerds, working at a job. They're not like faking the labor statistics. They're not, they're not, oh gosh, let's say unemployment is 3% because we love biting so much.

Oh, yeah, well, you don't think so. No, I don't. Okay, why? Why? Because the economy bears out what they say and people in the government who have no reason not to use those statistics to make their arguments about one issue or another about the government. We can't make arguments without data, without knowing what's real first.

You're saying we don't know what reality is. By the way, that's what the Trump people say. We can't trust anything. That's Q and on. We can't trust anybody. It's all a conspiracy. And that's not just that, that's not in real. That's paranoid. That's,uing on. We can't trust anybody. It's all a conspiracy. And that's such as that's not in real. That's paranoid. That's that's too cynical. No, no. Or or let me finish or not. No, there's no or not. That's my position. No, no.

Or not this way. No, no, there's no or not. That's my position. No, no. But I... No, I... That's easy. I... I...

I... I think some politicians are honest people, and they go into it being honest, putting it all together, you know? Oh, it's a corrupt business. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's a corrupt business. But it's like cops. And the issue is not whether politics is corrupt enough. The issue is what would be better? Clubbing each other to see who leaves the world as we did in days of your... No.

All the must-of-the-things we have are like, yeah, we tried something else. And yeah, this is very imperfect, but it works better than communism, which doesn't work at all. That's a true nightmare. And people in America, in capitalist democratic, have you ever read the communist manifesto? Of course not. Why, you should read it.

I get the gist. Oh, you get it. I do. No, no, you need to read it. The communist manifesto? Yeah, you need should read it. I get the gist. Oh, you get it. I do. No, no, you need to read it. The Communist manifesto? Yeah, you need to read it. You know, on your recommendation, I will. Is it long?

I have somebody read it too. It's pretty short, right? Yeah, I have somebody read it to you. Yeah, it's basically I want your stuff. I want your stuff. I'm not. No. You have stuff and I want it. No. Yes, it is.

No. That's not what it says. That's it. That's the whole book. I guarantee I want it. No. Yes, it is. No. That's not what it says. That's the whole book. I guarantee I'm going to do this. I'm going to send you a book report and I better get it a minus. Well, I think you'll find out that it's not, it's not anything close to what we're seeing. Let's say we're making it into a movie.

Give me the highlights. Give me the pitch for the Communist manifesto. We got the biggest, they already manifesto. We got this biggest... They already did that. We got Leo to play Mark. They already covered that. They've already made it. What movie?

I don't know. I'm sure they have. No. But Karl Marx was a miserable human being. Chewing the fucking club. Right, but I mean like they, they teach the Communist benefit. Oh, Goddamn country right now, it's miserable. No, I'm just saying because like Karl Marx,

who was like a horrible homophob and a racist, and like, it checks all the boxes of what to locate the most. He is like the third most taught economics person that they teach in colleges in America, something like that. I may not have that exactly right, but he is widely taught. And he really was horrible in all the ways

that we now know are makes a person kind of horrible. Right, but if you just read what's on the page, you think he's right. And I didn't say that. I can see where he's coming from. I'm open-minded and have to go, well, I can see where he's coming from too. Germany, which produces morose people. He was very morose about, because a lot of life is winners and losers, and you don't even know why, who winds up on either side, it's very arbitrary. I mean,

Yeah, every 50 years those guys fuck something up. I got it. Wait, what? The Germans, every 50 years. They fuck something up every I got. Wait, what? The Germans every 50 years. They fuck something up every 50 years. You know, you must know the Tom Leroy album. That was the year that was. It was a famous comedy album by this Harvard professor, Tom Leroy. He wrote and performed. He played piano in a nightclub. He was a Harvard professor, but he wrote these genius songs. They're like,

from 1964, and they're still funny, and they're still sometimes relevant. And one of them was about, I mean, we have, this is 1964. The war was only over 19 years, but we were very friendly with Germany. And one of his lines was, once the Germans were warlike and mean, but that couldn't happen again. We taught them a lesson in 1918, and they've hardly bothered us since then. But every 50 years, they did something. That's my point and I did it in song but what I'm saying you know if you I guess you've seen this and heard it if you ask that machine that a lot of people have in their house and you can ask AI no Siri ears Alexa Alexa if you can you

ask Alexa when the next world war started, you've seen all this shit? Well, I know AI just lies. You know that? They just make shit up. Like that's one of, that is like the big... Oh, it's just like the government. Exactly, just like the internet. Yeah, yeah.

Just like people, because it was programmed by people. But this is, as of this moment, I'm sure they'll work out the bugs, or I don't know, maybe they won't, but as of this moment, that's the biggest problem with AI is that you can ask it a question and it will give you an answer as if it's very, oh, well, we are AI, we know everything. And then you check it out and it's like, oh, no, this is not just slightly erroneous. This is like made up out of whole cloth.

That is a great question as to why that's happening. Why that's the biggest problem with AI. Plainly it has something to do with who programmed it, the internet. Yeah, the internet is a bunch of bullshitters and liars and they taught AI. So until they fix that, I don't trust AI for anything unless they figure out something health wise, in which case I am. We're both going to love AI because it's going to help both of us. How? Because he says with the cigarette in his hand, because they'll figure out how to fix you when all the stupid shit you did to yourself comes back to haunt you. I've been, I'm trying to say, Bill, you're kind of like saying one thing with one hand and

something else with the other and you don't trust this, you don't trust that, but you love the government. Why is everything so black and white with you? I don't love the government. I am saying the government is the least bad option. Perfect is not on the menu. Of course not. Okay, so then you have to make a...

All right, so it's showing the fucking dead kids laying on the goddamn street and still just giving us numbers. What dead kids? The dead kids laying in the classroom. Of the classroom? Yeah, I'm showing a sad. Show a kiss. Okay, we agree on that point.

I know, but we both want to see dead kids. But my point is, is that when the truth lays there in front of you, people will make the right decision. People will? Yeah. You're faith in people like that? Happen in Vietnam. Well, yes. Bill, have you, have you driven down the roads here and seen the fucking roads and roads and

roads of all the military guys that were killed in World War II over what? World War II. Yeah? World War II? Yeah. World War II, V and not. You don't think we needed to fight World War II? I don't think we need to fight any further. Not World War II, the one against Hitler and Tojo? That's fucking people should just battle

not on one side. Well, they weren't battling out amongst themselves. They were allies. They were dividing up the world. Where they're gonna come get us? Yes! There's a book called 1964. You know the book? Yeah, I know the book. You know everything. I cannot tell you anything. What's it about? What's 1964 about? It was a storage or a Wells book? No, that's not. 1984. Okay, no, I don't know 1960.

1964 was a big book, I don't know, like 25 years ago. It posited that Hitler had won the war. And yes, then took over America. And it was America in 1964 that had been under Nazi occupation for 20 years. That's what that book is about. And yes, it could have happened. If Hitler wasn't insane, if he had not started a two front war, that could have very well have happened.

If somebody would have let him into art school that had been no war at all. Well, that, yes. Right. I mean, that is very possible. Yeah. I mean, if somebody would have let the guy into art school We were if it's all the painting or anything, but he did right So you know what's interesting is that you know who was born in the same year as Hitler and

In a way has a parallel life Charlie Chaplin Well Chaplin Hitler loved Chaplin, Hitler loved Chaplin. That's why he grew that. Hitler loved Chaplin until Chaplin pissed Chaplin off so much. That he made the movie, the great Dixie. That's right. That's right, because he was like saying.

Oh my God. So Hitler's mustache because he saw it on Charlie Chaplin. That's right. That makes sense and I never knew that. Yeah, that's that's what that's all about He loved chaplain everybody loved chaplain. He was a star on a level that is almost unimaginable I know I mean Taylor Swift is now on a level that's like really quite I mean how do you've an imagine question? that's like really quite, I mean... How do you, and I'm asking you a question. How do you feel about legacy and all that stuff? Legacy, my own.

Yeah, yours, Charlie Chaplin's. Well, you name it. It's a very different legacy, but I mean, I would love to be thought of as well the great comedians of the entire world, Chaplin, Bill Maher, yes, and that would be appropriate, but that's never going to happen. But, no. But, I mean, legacy, if you're talking about something after I'm gone, I'm not talking

about, we're not always talking about you though. I'm just... What is that always about you though? What is the, well then what? Fuck. Okay, I'm listening. Which I don't like, which I don't want to do, but I'll do it. Not always about me.

Go ahead. But my point is. I'm waiting. Okay, I give up. Uncle. Let's talk about your legacy. Point is I'm waiting. Okay, I give up uncle Let's talk about your legacy. I said about you. I don't what legacy if it's not me or you who's like you I don't give fuck. I don't either but if you said me if it's not about me or you who's legacy? Are we talking about I'm just saying there's no legacy

That's anybody no well there is legacy that the people who live on after, yes, you don't think there's people who like say, Mr. Jesus Christ. I'll go for a second. You just said a minute ago, if you said insolven to a kid today, you wouldn't know who the fuck he was. Yeah. Well, they know what Jesus Christ is. He's very famous.

One. Okay. But I'm just saying, look, I don't even fully know, nobody does actually, whether there actually was a historical Jesus, he may not have lived at all, but you can't deny that his legacy lived on as he does, not just one. One, okay, we have one, we have M, we have Steve Jobs. No.

No, the iPhone did not change things. Yeah, I'm not saying it didn't change shit. Okay, well that's a legacy. He has a legacy. Two or three decades. Okay, sing me one. Glenn Miller song. Glenn Miller.

Come on. Glenn Miller was my father's. Yeah, get this or what? I'm just saying. What's your point about Glenn Miller, so. Glenn Miller. Come on. Glenn Miller was my father's, yeah, kids, it's so what? I'm just saying. What's your point about Glenn Miller? He was as huge as the fucking Beatles. Yes, he was. Okay.

Yes, he was, for the kids who don't know. Okay, but you wait, let me tell them what. You and I cannot, I'm a good man. Glenn Miller was a band leader. This was the era of the 40s, bands. That was it, and a band leader. This was the era of the 40s. Bands, that was it, and a band leader who played an instrument, Tommy Dorsey. Who's the clarinet?

Regardless who. Just tell me one fucking song. Wait, I'm just saying Glenn Miller was one of those big band leaders. Do you actually think that I think, so much of myself, that just two decades from now, anybody's gonna give a fuck about any song that I think so much of myself that just two decades from now, anybody's gonna give a fuck about any song that I ever wrote. I will. Didn't he die in a plane crash?

I don't know. Glenn Miller. I think he did. I think he did. I think it was a wartime like he was going to entertain the troops or something. I think you're right. I think that's a guy.

I think a trumpet was entertaining. What was wrong with those people? And they were dancing to... Yes. And it was two decades ago, two or three decades ago. Well, I was more than that. I was almost a hundred years ago, Glenn Miller. Yeah.

I mean, yes. By the time the 50s came around, it was, it was Pablo, but it wasn't big band music anymore. It was Patty Page and Frank Sinatra and stuff like that. A lot of vocalists and... Bill. What? That's before my time. And then, of course, mid-50s, you have Elvis.

Bill, where... Let me ask you a question. What? Where are we right now? 2023. No, no, no. Where are you and I at right now? Club random?

No. We're on a great big fucking rock going around the sun. Yeah, so it's arrogant as fuck for us to sit here and talk about like what you think and what I think is important. It's just not. Nobody gives a shit. Yeah, but I don't think we're on the illusion that we're on a big rock going around the sun. It's been going around the Sun. It's been going around the Sun for fucking millions of years.

What we say in due to not having to change. You want your kids to live comfortably on it, don't you? My kids are going to be very comfortably. Thank you. But you know, you don't think environmental disaster is looming. Where? On earth, the one we live on. I think that there are people making a lot of fucking money.

That's why we don't have supersonic planes. You know that story, right? If your point is that the people who profit from there being environmental catastrophe lie to us sometimes and exaggerate sometimes, I agree. That doesn't mean there also isn't environmental catastrophe looming. What the problem here is that people in this country, they all think they have the answer, I couldn't be wrong. So therefore it's okay if I lie or cheat in service of the cause because I'm just so sure that Trump won the election. I can lie about it. Okay, whatever. So yes,

there is people lying about the environment, but it also is a real thing. Yeah, yeah, listen. I It's gonna get us. And it's gonna get us. Just population will get us. I mean, I don't understand these people like Elon Musk is one of them who they talk like, we need more people, more people will be great. And we already have too many people.

And then they say, well, look fly over the country. You could see how empty it is. Yeah, it's not about, we have room for them, but we all use stuff, you know, like resources. That's what we don't have enough of. Okay, just that is going to fuck us. Yeah, just hear people. Just hear people.

Here's the point. We do have resources which is not using them. What are you talking about? Like what? Like what resources? Like how can you grow more water? In China, there's tons of fucking cities that have millions of people. They're taking sea water and changing it over. They can do that right here in California, but you cocksikers are too tight and don't want to spend the money to do it. You'd have more fucking water. You wouldn't have to changing it over, they can do that right here in California, but you cocksikers are too tight and don't want to spend the money to do it. You'd have more fucking water, you would have to steal it from Nevada, and you would have

water out the ass. Well, I will have you know that at least 10% of us are not cocksikers. Not strictly speaking. Metaphorically. I'm out. But that's the truth. They... You're not going to get me to defend California.

I'll put it that way. You can... Look, I mean, the homeless... And I love California. But it is a ridiculous date. The homeless situation here and across... I travel all... Just like you.

Travel all I see it everywhere. See what everywhere. The homeless. Yes. And we used to have laws that we enforce called vagrancy. Yes. That we just seem to ignore now. Right.

Nobody enforces it. And there are ways, humane ways of helping me. Look, if you want to blame somebody, I blame Reagan. Always a safe... Well, he's the guy that did away with, you know... It didn't help. Yeah, he said, well, we're going to tear down all these old mental institutions. We're going to build new ones. Yes, we're right. And privatize them. And we're tear down all these prisons that are run by the state and we're going to privatize them. I show right about that.

I forgot about that. They start, yes, that's when it started. There, too many people who should have been in institutions were let out. Well, and they were going to build private, they figured out how to make money off the prisons. And so that's why there's so many black people in jail. And in your free world for the black,

that's why the prisons are full of black, young black men because they can't afford to defend themselves. So every empty bunk is... And some committed crimes. Yeah, thank God for prisons. I agree with you. But there's a lot of guys that are in prison for a half ounce of marijuana today. No, there are too many black people.

I'm sure in prison still today, who are there because they didn't commit crimes or committed crimes that white people commit, that white people didn't pay for. That still goes on and that's the kind of place. Of course, racism still exists, but that's different than, you know, there are more police interactions with black people. That's just a fact. So more of them are going to wind up in prison. You can't get out of what. Here's the thing. an empty bunk in prison is making no money. Get somebody in these bunks. Let's say that each bunk that has a person in it is worth $100,000.

And they spend $30,000 supporting these guys who are in prison for whatever. And that's like what, $60,000, $70,000 profit, profit, but they just couldn't figure out how to make money off the minimum institutions. How the fuck are you going to make money off? Right. This is the pathology of the Republicans. Right, similarly, Trump, for panties could have kept alive the sparsely staffed crews that we

had overseas to keep their eye on possible arising infectious diseases. I can't remember the names, their bureaucratic letters, but we had one in Wuhan, China. And because they didn't find a virus that year, Trump looked at the budget and went, get rid of this, it's no making money for us, though, what do we need it for? Yeah, because for pennies, you could have stopped something that cost us

$6 trillion. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, listen, I agree 100 percent. But what I'm saying is that there are humane ways of getting these people off the streets, protecting them against themselves. I just saw an interview with some woman who's living on the streets here in L.A. and she says, I don't want to get off the streets. I get up in the morning, I get fucked up, I have sex, then I eat a little something, and then I get high again, and I have fucking sex, and then I go to bed with some guy, I don't

know. Let's get a fuck that. Yeah, let's get a fuck that. You know, and she didn't want to get off the streets, but you would call somebody like that, you know, I mean, that's, that's's, and she didn't want to get off the streets. But you become somebody like that mentally, you know. Yeah, I mean, that's, that's, oh, that's a great question. I mean, I'm kind of admire the, um, just live by the moment, but, no, I mean, it's not, it's not meant, you know, such a fine line. We're all a little mentally, you know,

that's the problem is it's a slippery slope and it's a sliding slope. Now everybody's somewhat crazy. Is that crazy? You can't, you could make the case, it's a lifestyle. People live crazy lifestyle. You know what? You wanna live that lifestyle?

Go live it, but you can't. Right. Live on the fucking streets of the castle. That's right. That's right, you can't. you can't write it on the fucking streets. Exactly. That's right. You can't. Or let's create one whole community, homeless land, there'll be no houses, it'll just be streets. Well, if you remember, if you remember during the Great Depression, they had that.

I don't, I'm way too young. Well, you've read books. I've seen it on TV. I'm just too young, but well you've read books or seen it on TV just telling the kids Where they had you know camps where people went and they worked camps yeah You know and I'm not talking about the kind of camps that they no no They had no but the Japanese people can't Camp is not always a bad word. That's like. We don't have to always be worried about.

I went to camp. Yeah, I'm okay. I'm in tenets. They told me there. Did you go to camp? Yeah, the Nazarene camp. Nazarene. That's a religion.

Well, Jesus was a Nazarene. I know. If he... I went to the Nazarene church. If he really existed. If he really existed. If he really existed. You think he really existed? My logic says, no.

My emotions go, well, I hope so. Why could you question? No, because I'm one of those wishy-washy agnostics. Oh, I'm a full on atheist. I know that. I know, I watch you show. I know. But the reason why I think it's fishy is because, um, okay, we have four people who wrote about Jesus,

the four in the gospel, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and St. Paul, right? Every book in the New Testament comes from one of those five people. and St. Paul, right? Every book in the New Testament comes from one of those five people. The one who wrote closest to Jesus' life was Paul. Jesus dies in 33. Paul is writing in the 50s, you know, with the leather jackets and the grease. And the other three, the other four, are writing way later. And yet they know more about Jesus than Paul does who wrote. And so like, yeah, right. If Paul, it seems like he should have known something and he knows nothing, he barely conceives of Jesus as someone who lived on earth. That's a little weird. And also, you know, if you wanted to create a God as a fictional character, I mean, it's a great story.

I mean, it worked. I think, you know, it took a lot of people in and help, you know, the idea helped a lot of people. Undoubtedly, they found peace. Oh, yes. Well, the reason, I mean, the reason Christianity caught on because there was many new religions going around the minister any and at the time. It was a soup of religions, but this was the one that said in an empire that was largely slaves. The real party is after you die. That was kind of new. Like, be meek on earth.

There's no problem there. You mean, you mean like being employed in the United States for your entire fucking life and you get the last 10 years to live it up? Is that what you're talking about? What they're saying is, you really live it up after you die Yeah, that's where the real kingdom is, you know that was so like if you're having a terrible life with this slave You're like, oh, you know if I can just get through this Then luckily I'll die soon and then I'll be with Jesus and it's rainbows and unicorns Well, okay. I'm gonna tell a comedian a joke. Okay and unicorns. Well, okay, I'm gonna tell a comedian in a joke.

Okay. I'm gonna hear a joke. Yeah. So, Sky dies, he goes down, he's four-learned, he's down there, he fucking hates it. He runs into the devil. The devil says, what the fuck's the matter with you? He goes, I'm dead and I'm in hell.

He goes, I'm a fucking reasonable person. Here's three doors. Stop me if you've heard this joke. I have no. So, he Here's three doors. Stop me if you've heard this Jeff. So he says three doors. He opens the he said, I'll let you go into any of these three doors. He opens the first door. There's exactly what hell is described at in the Bible. And he got diagnosed. I don't want to go in there. The other one, they open the door and there's all these people just to oiling away. Like it says in the Bible, they to oil and you have to work and you try.

And the guy goes, I don't want to go in there. There, the third door, he opens up and there's a bunch of people drink coffee, but you stand in and shit this high. The guy goes, I'll take the people drinking the coffee and the devil goes, get choice, young man. All right, you people, back on your heads, coffee break is over. That's great. I did not see that coming.

That's great. Back on your hands. Back on your hands. Oh, God. Well, in my band, we've known this joke forever and whenever we're making a record or on tour, all of the guys, and they all know the joke and I go, okay, you guys back on your heads. Let's go. You love that camaraderie, don't you? Yeah. That's one thing, comedians really are jealous of musicians.

Well, you know, you know what, we's one thing, comedians really are jealous of musicians. Well, you know what, we're jealous of comedians when I saw you and I've seen other comedians. You guys don't have any production. No, that's so great. You can show up an hour before the show. I know. And I got, fuck, and I got a... You know I'm to go to a sound check.

No. They ask and I'm like, yeah, play a fucking my voice from a tape recorder. You know, I'm a guy with a mic. Can you manage that? Yeah, I mean, you know, but for me, the guys have to sound shake. We got to set stage, you got to put it backdrops, you got to put lights up, and you know, it's expensive.

Oh, it's expensive and it's a, it's a schlep. Yeah, it is. But I don't, I am going to say. But you have that joy of being with your comrades and like, speaking together through the music, it must be a, I mean, it must be a wonderful way to live a life. Well, I, it's not, that's not really the way it is, but, really come on. Well, it was when we were kids, but now,

really? Not, but now. Really? Not so much now. You don't like hear a guy play a certain way one night and be like, ah, that was such a cool thing. Hold on, hold on. No, hold on. Our shows are always the same. I know, but you know.

Once we figure out what the arc that the show is, it'll take three or four, five, six, 10 shows before we figured out. But then it never changes. Never changes. It's not like somebody's all the sudden going to play a fucking lick. Then we're going to go, wow, that was cool. If he plays that fucking lick, he's going to look at everybody's in the band's going to go, like, what the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck are you doing? But you still, you don't get bored with it, do you? No, because the audience always pulls you through. There you go. The audience always. There's no business like show business. They smile when they are low. Yeah, that's exactly right.

And the audience always always pulls you through. No, I can't imagine stopping, you know. Well, stop touring. You know, stop going out and as my friend Rita Rudner put it many years ago, telling jokes to strangers, you know, it's just, I would be like cutting my leg off. Well, you know, like I said, you know, you're both extremely fucking lucky, extremely lucky. That's a fortunate, you know, like I said, you know, we're both extremely fucking lucky.

Extremely lucky. That's a fortunate, you know, and really have, I have no reason to complain. I do, but I have no reason to. I'm glad you admitted that. That is so important. Yeah. I am actually the luckiest guy, you know. That's a great attitude. Well, I am. I was born with spine bifida, you know what that is. It is when the spine

unfortunately gets bifida. Yeah, that's kind of it. I'm sorry. I had a fucking, I had a fucking hole in my spine in the back of my neck and you're making fun of me. I had a 24 hour spinal bifur動. It was, ugh, what a day. But then I felt good at some soup. Anyway, I was born in 1951 when they operated on people with pinking shoes and screwdriver shoes.

Well true, oh, you need an operation for this? I'll show you the back of my neck when we're done. I got a scarf here, dear. Look how my fucking head off. Is this about the pool party again? Are you, I know you want that pool party. Anyway, so, so wait, it's your spine is fucked up, like coming out of the wall. Yeah, it's like this, it's just the luck of the draw, like every, you know,

not everyone. There were four of us laying in, Riley's children's hospital and in theapolis and some young doctor named, anyway, doesn't matter what it's named is. He just said, we can't let these kids lay here. He operated on, and did experimental operations on all of us.

They all died except me. Wow. That's fucking luck. I'm the luckiest guy, you know. You know what luck is Bill? Luck is thinking you're lucky. Okay, but exactly because the other way you could look at it would be not being born with spinal bifida at all.

See this is if I was before the court of God, I'd be like, you're on her, you know, but why at all? See, you're just assuming that some people are gonna be born with this horrible thing. Why does anybody have to be? Why is there ever have to be any kind of misery, you know? Why can't we, you know.

Because this is real life, Bill. I know, but I'm just saying to religious people who are like, and their answer would be because Adam and Eve, yeah, their answer is because God moves in mysterious ways. Yeah. Well, they're at, no, yes, that too. That's a ridiculous dodge, but their main answer is Adam and Eve, you know, trespassed

in the Garden of Eden. And isn't it time to let them off the hook? We have to pay for their sin like forever? That would be my religious... I repost. I think that if you try to apply logic to any of it, it just doesn't work. Will you brought up with religion? Yeah, I went to Nazarene Church every Sunday.

Oh, yeah, I'm not the man to go. Is that a sect? No. It's not a pool party, no. No. But is it Catholic? No. No, it's a miscapalian.

It's one step above... What's the people that can't cut? Well, you're not allowed to cut your hair. I wasn't allowed to dance. I wasn't. No. No, but I mean, is that it? Is it like a seventh day Adventist?

Is it? Really? Close to. So it is its own sect. Yeah. And what differentiates them from mainstream Christians? You can't dance. You can't go to movies, you can't, you know, you know, we're dancing leads.

So it's like footloos. I've never seen footloos. You've never seen footloos? No. Okay, well, you know, it was sort of seminal at the time that you were like, okay, so what's your favorite movie? Ferris Beederst Stay Off, I bet. No, sort of my favorite.

Yes, come on, come on! It was fine at the time. I think I tried to watch it recently, and it was like, okay, but you know, it's hard for stuff to hold up. Like, we remember movies fondly from like the 70s and the 80s. You don't, you might, because I didn't watch them.

You even watch movies? I watched old movies. Why don't, you might, because I didn't watch them. You even watch movies? I watched all movies. Why didn't you watch current movies? Like what? I mean, you didn't watch anything in the 70s in the 80s. You ever saw three days of the condor? Nope. Clutch?

Didn't like it. I just saw it. Yeah, I saw it. It was Jane Fund. It was hot. That's why you watched that one. That's something. Really? Yeah, probably.

Well, that's honest. Still hot. I love Jane Fonda. I didn't much. I watched blacklight movies. My favorite thing to do in life was when my parents were gone on Sunday and my siblings left the house and in Indianapolis, a Francis farmer had a show where she came on and talked and showed old movies. And if I had the house to myself, what I would do is lay on the couch and I would watch

those black and white movies with the commercials and that Frances farmer would then explain what was happening to the idiots like me. And what just happened? So Frances farmer was an actress who was, is she the one who went to the mental, her mother center to the mental institution? They made a movie about that. Yeah, a Jessica Langstone. Yes. Yeah, I saw that. So now she's out of her mental hospital

and she's hosting a TV show in the 60s. In the 60s. In the 1960s. In the when I was a kid. Right. When I was a kid in the 60s. But that was local to you. It was.

Yeah. Yeah, it was good. I sure didn't get that in New York market. Too good for New York. Boy, that's rough. If you're an actress, now you're doing movie intros in Indiana, no offense. Well, but here's the thing. You know, she was lucky to get it.

And you still live there, don't you? Yep. You never give it. It's good for you. Yep. I live on 86 acres and I'm. I go back home tomorrow and I'll be happy to be there. Right. But Larry McMertree, you've heard of Larry McMertree, right?

Of course. Okay. Lonesome Dove. Yeah. Anyway, Larry and I are friends. Really? Larry and I. Yeah.

Larry was doing an interview and they asked because he stayed with me for a couple weeks and they said, how does he like being in Indiana? And he goes, Meli Camp still lives in Indiana and he goes, no, he lives on 86 acres behind those gates. He don't see anybody. That's pretty much it. So what do you do with the other 85 acres? I assume you have like a house takes that from a maker.

What about what what's the other 85 for? Woods woods. Why do you want you want your own woods? Yeah. What are you doing it? Master band look at it. But you are really heading to this pool party. No, I'm just saying when I was like,

All right, you guys get your fucking pool clothes on his. When I was a kid like you you know you couldn't jerk off at home you go in the woods and rub one out. No that's not the way it worked. Not where you were. No I was an assuring I didn't do that stuff. So that really didn't have an effect on you. I mean you deny you're really you believe that. No. No. Fuck no. I mean, you deny you're... Really? You believe that? No? No, fuck no. I'm the biggest liar, you know. No, but I love that song

that you say I always... Lies to strangers. I always lie to strangers. And I always lie to people I may know. Yeah, well... We all do. I hope some of the things you said are lies. No. We all do. I hope some of the things you said are lies. No.

We all do. Yeah. Sometimes I just say stuff just to see that look on your face. Yeah. You know, you know, you know, you know, you always get an honest reaction from me. Like if I think it's bullshit and that's valuable and vice versa, you know. Well, I have a... Because when we're successful,

people tend to defer sometimes to your opinion, just because they think, even without evidence, that will be mad if they don't agree. And it's like, no, I just always want honesty, no matter what it is. That's the best thing you could ever give me. And I can see through when it's... Well, shit.

Yeah, but people just, you know, they just defer because they think, again, without evidence that, you know, it's just, it's a human to think, oh, this person will like me more if I agree with them. See, but I don't know who works for you. Everybody that works for me has worked for me for decades. Oh, well, I got a bunch of ass kisses.

I know. I mean, it's the way I want it, but no, I don't. But I'd like to... I've got guys in the band who've been in the band for 50 years. The guy that runs my studio has, we were college roommates. So everybody around me is like, way sick if I can kiss in my ass.

I know. It's like John, no, John, you can't do that. You know what? To your great credit, I never heard any bad things about you. Like, I never heard anything, nobody ever like said you did something shitty. You know, nothing dishonorable, nothing to make the fans go, oh god, I used to like him.

You know, none of that stuff. Not everybody can like everybody's music, but as a man, as a person, I never heard nobody has anything shitty to say about you. You were, even people, whatever they think about you, he's not shady. He's not shady. No, not at all. He's authentic. I'm not shady. Nope.

But I may be a lot of things, but I'm not shady. Exactly. And I would say the same about myself. I'm not shady. Yeah. You may not like me, and I don't really care. Exactly. I would love it if everybody loved me.

I would love that. I wouldn't care. I would think that would be great. If everyone just always agreed with everything I had to say and acknowledged. Well, to what's the James Dean line, I'm too sensitive for this world, so you should love me and feel sorry for me. He said that. Did you ever see a giant? Did I ever see giant like maybe a hundred times? Oh, because I never saw it I'm what what this interview is already to go into fucking house right?

I started it. I started it. You started it. Yeah, how could you stop? I mean, I don't want you movies like that. You started it. How could you stop? I mean, I don't watch movies like that. It's like long, right? It's like three hours. Well, when it wasn't like, it wasn't like so compelling that I cannot take my eyes while I'm giant. It was, yes, I want to see it because I know it's a classic.

It was made in the year I was born, 1956. I got on to it because I was watching this documentary about Rock Hudson, which is a great documentary. I watched it the other night and I know that's why you're referring to pool parties. He was the king of, oh man, you couldn't get a finger in your ass at Rock Hudson's pool parties. You didn't have it. And you know what, I came out after watching.

You came out? No, I came out after watching. I was saying, after watching. I missed the news one day. Congratulations. I think you're a better person because you're a gay. Thank you. Yeah, well, rock didn't give a fuck.

I mean, that's what I took away. Rock didn't give a fuck. He gave such a fuck he never came out, but it was a different area. No, no, no, of course he didn't come out. It was like 1940. No, it was not. No, it was 1980 dynasty at the end. But my point is is that everybody in town, in this town that you live in. Newbies. Everybody, yes, within the industry of course. That's right. That's right.

Well, we all sucked this day. Well, not all of this. All right. But anyway, that was his big role in Giants. So I was like, oh, I got to watch Giants. And why have you seen it a hundred times? What is so great about it? Because George Stevens was a fucking fantastic director.

Dean was fantastic. But what about the movie? But what about the Rock? Tyson was fucking great. The story is great. What is the story? And how does the story, because I know you, and I know you.

What's the arc in the story? Nobody writes about America, and well, more than you. How does this story reflect on America in a way that has your admiration so high? Because the story starts out with Rock Hudson being sort of a big, we don't talk to them. I saw that, we don't talk.

He's a mockery, he's got money in a big ranch. Besides a Connecticut. And he's a lot of Spanish people working for him. Liz Batelio goes and says, talking to him, and it pisses him off. Anyway, he kept two, three hours of movie. At the end of the movie, he's standing up for the Spanish and he gets in a fucking fist fight

because he sees somebody not, we have the right not to serve people. So it was ahead of its time for standing up for the... And I just gave you the cliff no spurs. You're good. No, I can't wait to see their estimate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not all at once. I mean, it's not... I can't. Why?

I just don't have that kind of attention spade anymore. Any more. I got a larger of attention spend, I'm older. Well, well, fucking bully for you. How about, how about trying? I'm trying. Yeah. Okay, watching a movie is not something I don't want I want to ever have to try to do.

That's the relaxation part of my day. Okay, okay. I don't need to watch. Watching giant is a challenge. But all of her say, watching giant is not about you relaxing. It's about watching America grow. It's about watching a movie that I hope is good.

It's really not stuck. It's dick more than necessary. No, it's probably a good movie. It's probably super dated in a million ways. Now, I get it. It's also ahead of its time. I think I'll give it its due. And I want to see it, but it's an artifact.

I'll probably never watch it again because I probably won't find it that compelling. You know, I bet I've watched it a hundred times. I get it. You know, I've watched Streetcar. Well, you were. Sometimes. Because I think it's going to be a hundred to one. Have you ever seen Streetcar? Streetcar names are, yes I have.

And? Brando, awesome. Nollins. On the money. Yeah. I mean, do I remember it really well? Stella. Oh, no. Why? So much streetcar? Yeah, that mean, do I remember it really well? Stella? Oh, no.

So much street art? Yeah, that street art. So much. I understand. That's a cliche. I know. We got the Napoleon. We got the Napoleon code.

This is my castle. That's what it says. That's the same movie? No, you were just doing Brando in The Godfather. No, I was doing Brando. Those are the lines from the movie. It is. Look at that, a poly on a code, that.

And if a man, what's good for the woman, is good for the man with the Napoleon code. Have you ever heard of the Napoleon code, Stella? Yes, I know the lines. Wow. I know the lines. I've seen the movie a million times. Wow.

So when you like a movie, you watch it over and over. It's like finding a good song for me. Really? That's interesting. I can't do it that much. And there are movies that I love so much. Like Ferris Beater's Day Off. Not that one at all.

Like in the line of fire. It's a good example. Where I've never seen it. It's great. You should. You see that? Jack Nicholson. Clint Eastwood. In the line of fire. In the line of fire. Well, there's Peterson. It's great. Why don't you, well, you can't leave it. It's in color. It's fantastic. I mean, there's movies like that where my point was like I've I've not seen it four times

And it comes on and I'm like I am not gonna watch you again, and then you watch I can okay like what Well, that's that's one. Oh, there's quite a few like that Let me like name some people and movies and I'll try to think of some War of the Worlds Spielberg's movie about... Yeah, no, no, no. Look on your face, it's just priceless. I'm guessing you find these,

but my choice is to bourgeois, to middle class, for your reveled natures, like too low brow, too man of the people. You know, when you appeal to that many people, and I think we should end this conversation by saying this. Okay. Keep it small and keep it going. Keep it, keep it small and keep it going.

You know, tell me that. Hmm. Pete Seeger. Best advice I ever got When what's it like your career? Oh, you're small and keep it go right We were sending Madison you were good because it ever what we were sending minutes to swear garden They were having some kind of celebration for Pete. I walked up to him. I was talking to him. I said, what do you think about all this? Fucking masters, we're going to talk about 360.

Everybody in the fucking world's playing there. Bruce is playing, I'm playing, I can't remember all the other people that are playing. Everybody's playing, and I can go, hey, what do you think about all this? He goes, this is all right. Occasionally, I guess. I go, what do you mean?

He goes, you want some advice? Keep it small. I keep it going. He said, when the fucking rack, World Cup broke out, do you think I went down to New York City and sit around with all those people? He said, no, I walked out on the interstate with a sign by myself and said, stop the fucking more.

He said, that's courage. All right, man man thank you. That's it. It's gonna be nice at the end. Yeah. All right. I'm always good there for free. Yeah. You're a lot of fun. All right. Oh, look. See I told you I was taller than you. Yeah, because you're standing on a... Yeah, get down here. Let's see the tallest. because you're staying on a... Yeah, get down here. Let's see the tallest. Club. Brando. It's probably right at the island.

Yeah, I'm just... I'm laughing on a swim so you're getting into that.