Club Random with Bill Maher - Listen Now: The Sage Steele Show | Mayim Bialik

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

Sage Steele and Mayim Bialik on mental health, Mayim’s depression, anxiety, and OCD, the importance of understanding and accepting oneself, the importance of self-care and mental well-being, the challenges of parenting in the public eye, Mayim on the importance of fostering independence and resilience, Sage’s parents' interracial marriage and how their courage and love have shaped her values and approach to life, the obstacles in sports journalism, Mayim on starting as a child actor, being judged on your looks as a teenage actor, personal healing practices, and how to stay grounded in this crazy world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, and you've been open about some things, right? I'm so grateful that you had the courage to do that. I don't know if you view it that way, but eating disorders, issues with food, depression, anxiety, OCD. The whole list. The whole list. Yeah.

I wonder, because I have no clue, genuine questions here. Yeah. As a child actor and being in that when it was a very different era. And all of the other isms and reasons and traumas and all the things, like you've lived a life. Yeah, I've had a big life. I've lived a life.

And I think it's kind of interesting because the time that I was acting, I started professionally acting when I was 11, which is obviously we, very tiny. But for the industry, it's considered a very late entry because usually child actors start at like two or three. Even then? Yeah, even then most kids were in commercials.

That's true, yeah, yeah, yeah. And even like I was on Blossom from the time I was 14 to 19, but the other two teens on the show had been acting since they were little, like toddlers. So I was the one who was like, I just got here. Like you're the rookie. What's happening, right? So that being said, it's still, I grew up in front

of cameras and it was very strange, but I like to say I had like 11 years before I even started acting just to grow up in my home, you know, which like does its own, you know, a lot happens in the first 11 years of your life. And yeah, I was raised by people who were raised by very hurt people, you know, and hurt people hurt. And you know, three of my four grandparents came from Eastern Europe. My mom's parents fled the pogroms leading up to the Holocaust. My grandmother was an orphan, and by the time she was a teenager.

And you know, my mom's parents literally like met in night school where they were both trying to learn English. My grandmother, I don't think finished like elementary school. You know, they were sweatshop workers. They didn't speak English very well their whole life. They never drove. They went on an airplane twice in their whole life. Wow.

And yeah, like I grew up with a mother whose native tongue was not English, you know. So my dad's parents had a more assimilated kind of American experience. But you know, World War II was a very hard time to be born. My grandfather served in the Army, he served in the US Army. And, you know, my dad was conceived on leave visits, you know, while my grandfather was stationed. And, you know, my parents did the best that they could with the tools and resources and education that they were given.

But times were very, very different. They were parented during the war with a lot of trauma, a lot of trauma. And some people go through the depression or some people go through Holocaust and that era and they come out optimistic and fantastic. And my mom's mother in particular, she never recovered from what she saw. She never recovered. And so my mom is this really bubbly, artistic, charismatic person, but there's a lot there. And my dad struggled a lot.

We didn't know what manic depression was. I just knew that sometimes he'd be up for days and he would, you know, think that he had special powers, you know, that other people didn't understand. And then other times I didn't know what I'd find when I came home, you know. And we didn't call it that. So to answer your question, the time when I was in the industry, I think affected me less than the other aspects of my life because I was really fortunate. I was always on clean sets.

I never saw drugs. I never saw alcohol. I always worked with pretty professional grownups, you know? And, you know, I obviously was in a very charmed situation having my own television show when I was 14 and very new in the industry. Gosh. And I knew that. Obviously, I figure you say that. Yeah, it was very... It felt industry. Gosh. And I knew that, obviously, but to hear you say that.

Yeah, it was very, it felt weird to me. Really? It literally felt like I was in this movie, Beaches. I played Bette Midler when she was young and it was literally like the movie came out and then I woke up at 19 and like, what just happened? That's what it felt like. And then I was still being in my home with my parents

and there was a lot of struggle. I grew up in alcoholism and you know, it's something that like, you know, when you talk to enough people who grew up with addiction in their home, you'll often find that they have depression or anxiety or OCD or like something. So you know, I was interviewed by Dan Harris, you know, for the 10% happier podcast and you know, he was like, you got a lot of things. Like, why so many things? And I was like, sit in an Al-Anon meeting. Find people who don't have all these things.

Like, when you grow up with people who are struggling, you often struggle. And I was a real fix-it kid. I wanted to fix everybody's problems. I wanted to be the person that everybody went to and make it all OK. That's a disease right there. 100%.

100%. And so what it looks like is that there's not like a start, middle and end to what it means to heal, you know? And every subsequent challenge or wound will open that up. You know, when I look now at my marriage, I see how many things was me reenacting, you know, the only way I knew how to interact, right? And that's not to say if I knew better, I would have stayed married. Like, that's not the point. The point is I get to take responsibility,

you know, for what was my part. What do I still have to work on? And what am I trying to impart to my kids, you know? Because that's scary too, to be able to say to them, like, I really messed up yesterday when I said that to you, right Because that's scary too, to be able to say to them, like, I really messed up yesterday when I said that to you, right? Let's go back, I'm gonna do it again, you know? And no one did that for me as a kid. They did the best they could, you know, they really did. But yeah, you know, people say alcoholism is the disease

that can kill people who don't even have it. It's a family disease, you know? It is. And yeah, it's been a very interesting road. And no, a lot of people in my family don't believe in those labels or diagnoses. And that's, you know, that's hard too, but everybody gets to do it their own way.

And I don't have to manage that either, you know? You don't have to take that. You can take care of me, take care of my kids. What's my relationship like with God? That's sort of my daily job, you know, or with something bigger than me, you don't have to call it God. For you?

Yeah, yeah, I happen to call it that, but like that's sort of, that's, you know, where I try and gear my, most of my mental energy. Mm-hmm, so with all of those things, you know? Yeah. What is your, what's a day in the life? Because along with those things, what is really blowing me away

is all of the other things that you choose. I mean, your hands are in a little bit of everything. You're so busy. Well, things are calming down now, but yeah, I have looked very busy lately. So for the last several decades, while handling that, how have you been such a pretty good multitasker, apparently?

And I'm not saying that you've done it all perfectly. No, no, no. Well, emotions can't hit a moving target. I don't know if you've ever heard that. So I think that's also the process, right? Yeah. You know, always being busy means you don't have to spend a lot of time inside, you know? But, you know, emotions are like pee. Like, you can try and hold them in, but they're gonna come out eventually.

Okay, well, I've not heard that one. Yeah, so it's like, eventually the body starts talking, you know, the body will speak to you. Is that why you're slowing down? Yeah, that's part of why I'm slowing down, because like, I can't do at 48 what I did at 18, or 28, or even 38. And there's still a lot that I can do, wanna do,

I mean, the podcast takes up a lot of my energy and I love that. I do that with my partner, which is like a whole other thing to talk about. Amazing. My kids getting to see like, oh, our mom is dating someone. What is that? I need your help with that. I know. It's like the whole thing.

I need a date first, but then at that point, if you can help with that as well. It's the whole thing. But that's because they're teenagers and they're watching and they're boys. Protective. And they're learning. So anyway, the podcast does take up a lot of my energy. But yeah, I was on Big Bang Theory for nine years and then I did a sitcom for three years.

And then I did Jeopardy for two years and that was not even full time, but it was still a lot. It's a big time commitment. So yeah, it's quiet now. Every single thing is big. Everything's big, yeah. All those things that you just mentioned, and those are just like along with the other things.

So what has made you dive deeper on wanting to, we gotta come up with something better than things, but to dive deeper on that and to begin to heal more. What was the turning point? I don't know if there's one turning point. It's a lot of things. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition at 23, and I have a thyroid condition,

which a lot of people have a thyroid condition. I have an overactive thyroid. And it's interesting because back then, in 1998, they didn't know really what that meant in terms of like your larger health, meaning, they didn't make any dietary recommendations. They were like, don't eat seaweed because it's high in iodine,

and the thyroid really likes iodine. But like, take all these pills and you'll be fine. And now when you're diagnosed with an autoimmune condition, it's like, don't eat gluten, don't do this. Take these supplements, you know, do workout like this and sleep like this. And so it's very interesting because I'm also realizing that like for 25 years, I've been functioning on, you know, an autoimmune condition,

which if I were diagnosed with that today, I'd be on a protocol, I'd be on a regimen, right? Yeah. So it's kind of like, oh, the body, the body might need a little time. Like, I need rest in a different way. And now when I read like, oh, if you have an autoimmune condition of like, oh, the body might need a little time. I need rest in a different way. And now when I read, oh, if you have an autoimmune condition, optimal sleep hours, I was like, oh, maybe I should try

and sleep like a real person. What a concept. Right. How much do you sleep? I didn't used to sleep a lot. And now I need to be in bed for eight or nine hours. I just have to be in bed. Well, I just have to do it. Well Well, I just, I have to do it.

Well, I do too, and I don't. I go to bed before my kids, right? Well, so this is the thing, your body will start talking. Well, it kind of already, yeah. And that's also, again, we take it for granted. Correct. Because of our age, we're able to do it. Oh, I used to function on six hour sleep.

I'd take a red eye, yeah, I would take a red eye and I'd be like, oh, I'm right, let's go. And I was like, oh no I'm right, let's go. And I was like, oh no, she can't do that anymore. I'm tired. Yeah, when that out of body experience and you're looking, plus then you sometimes, like, look at the mirror, like look hard. And I'm not saying in a critical way, but like honestly, it takes, that's the other

thing. Well, and also, yeah.