Club Random with Bill Maher - Marshawn Lynch | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

NFL legend Marshawn Lynch joins Bill for a conversation that bounces from football philosophy to strip club etiquette. Marshawn shares stories from his playing days, how Ray Lewis read him like a book his rookie year and the mental chess game that separates Hall of Famers from everyone else. They clash over Damar Hamlin’s on-field collapse and whether that game should have been canceled: logic vs. emotion, fans vs. optics. From there, the conversation swerves into classic Club Random territory, as they bond over Barbra Streisand fan mail, Ricky Williams as weed’s original martyr, locker-room backstabbing, why some franchises stay perpetually broken and what scared Marshawn in Bill’s bathroom — let’s just say, we’re all family now. Support our Advertisers: -Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/random #rulapod #ad -This week, PrizePicks has a special Max Discount for the Big Game, live in the app now! Drake Maye just needs 1 passing yard for the Max Discount to win! Just add another player to your line up and if your picks hit you can cash in! Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/CLUBRANDOM and use code CLUBRANDOM get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://billmaher.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Club Random Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clubrandom.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it.  For advertising opportunities please email: [e-mail] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

While you were remodeling your backyard to make it more, you know, zen-e. We were remodeling our merch store to make it more random. We slapped our new logo on T-shirts, tie-dies, hoodies and hats, and all with premium printed labels. Look, I wasn't kidding. We have it because tags are like the junk mail of clothing. All merch is available exclusively at clubrandom.com. Once again, that's club random.

dot com. You, me and stricant. Oh, I can meet it? Chop it up. Um, did she like you? I mean, I'm in, it's possible. I see what I'm in. Club.

Random. Something like that happening. Uh, yes, it is. Every, every, every single game. There's not every game. Motherfuck of the field. I swear. I swear.

Big man. Chief, what's going on? You're here? She, yes, Lord. Hiding back there. Remember me from real time? Yes. Come on, man.

How you doing there, you know, fella? Good, how are you? I'm taking it easy, man. Really? You're not in Beast mode? No, no, no, but I did bring you something, though. Okay, thank you. But can't be in beast mode here. We're very mellow.

No, this is cool. No, no, no, no, not going to come out, right? No, no, no, no. I'm chilling. If it is, I can send you to the ICE recruiting station. No, no, no, I see it. You could join them. You got goddamn Jumungi on the way through here, so shit. What?

You got Jumanji outside. What's that mean? The fucking jungle. Oh. Oh, you mean land. Is that what it is? Yeah. Land.

Land, Katie's Scarlet. It's the only thing worth fighting for. Worth dying for. Yeah. Got a damn. Oh, fuck. So this is your weed line? Yeah.

How's it going? Everybody's in the weed business. Everybody's in the podcast business. Everybody's just doing everything. You know what? It's hard to like, you know. Separates yourself. Exactly. Right. You know what, man? I mean, it's not all cracked out to what it, to be what it was.

But do you make money on that? We're in a process. In the process. Trying to put that on your credit card. We're in the process of paying with this kid. It'll get alone, huh? No. God damn.

When you were in the NFL, were you known as a pot smoker? Yeah. Yeah, we get down. I mean, I've been in that program. I don't know what, three or four times. What program? So they got a drug program that they'll put you in, man. Oh.

That they'll put you in, man. Oh, I thought you meant a program that sent you drug. No. Like a weed at the month club, because I was in that program. Well, I mean, we had one of the month. of those too but you know I mean that was more underground but you know who really paid the price in the NFL was Ricky Williams right most definitely you what I said most definitely he was somebody I looked up to too too when the

fact we're doing something tomorrow did you didn't play at the same time though he was retired before you started or around the same I did you over lie yeah I want to show we did really yeah I have to look and see what he actually retired, but I know I came in in 2007. I've always felt he was kind of the curt flood of pot because like he, you know, stepped out and said, you know, I have injuries as we all do. And the shit that the team wants me on, this pharmaceutical shit, doesn't work, fucks me up. The pot, you know, helps me, helps me.

That shouldn't have to ask another question. What works for you? This works. You know, he also had terrible anxiety problems. Every Sunday, he thought a bunch of guys were chasing him. Oh, shit. The way he ran, you would believe it. But no, I've seen something where he said,

on college, you know what I mean, smoked his first, he said he smoked his first joint. And when it ran for like 300 yards or some crazy shit like that. Right. So that became his thing. Well, you know, different drugs just work differently for different people.

And it's just, it's crazy that they, it's been so many decades like just trying to get that one lesson. Now, of course, some of it was mixed up with using the drug war for their own different reasons. Top of the list, racist. You know, there was the Chinese with the opium and then obviously, with African Americans and the difference between set and same. I don't know where I read is something that they flooded China with some, with the opium. Who was it?

That was in the 19th century. That was the opium war. Yeah, that's when the British had it. And they flooded China with their shit. Yeah, they was, I think, I mean. I don't really know that, you know, that before my time or shit, but I think I remember hearing something about that. Oh, well, it was definitely before your time and my time and all time except for people

who were ever. Really? It was 1840. That was definitely before our time. Quite a bit. Yeah. The opium... What?

The opium wars. The British, you know, the British, you know, this was the age of colonization, and the European powers were on every continent. I mean, they did the French and the British carved up Africa. It's interesting, the British conquered north to south. Okay. And off the continent of Africa, from Egypt all the way down to South Africa, although they had to fight the Dutch for that, they had to fight other people who were stealing it.

And then the French conquered east to west. So they went from, you know, although Britain had Nigeria, I think, but they went from all those West African nations from where the slave trade left from, you know, Ghana and all the way east. And the two superpowers at the time met at Khartoum in 1859. It was like, we're going this way and we're going this way and boy, that was the battle.

And they sliced that motherfucker up. And they slice the motherfucker up. Is that just like white people ammo? Oh? I said, is they just like white people M.O.? That is not white people M.O. That is human M.O. I ain't ever hear about no African-as going nowhere.

Just because you didn't hear about it, doesn't mean it didn't have. And I'm telling you. There was a movie out The Woman King, I think, last year. Or a couple of years ago. Yeah. And that was an empire built. I think it was Dahomey, which it was the name. I think maybe a different name, but some of those names have changed.

but that was the name of an African country. And they was in Africa, right? Yes. I'm talking about the white people. Where they go to places, and they just take, take, take, take, take, take. That's why I said, that's sort of like they M.O. And I'm telling you that's an erroneous thought.

I'm telling you that. That is not the truth. All peoples do that. The Japanese were the worst. They're not white people when they invaded China. Genghis Khan, there is nobody who was more of a motherfucker than Genghis Khan. And who gathered the slaves from the interior of Africa? Not the white people.

They benefited the most from it. What? I say they benefited the most from it. Okay, but what I'm saying is humans are not good people. You know what? You got some good ones and you got some bad ones. That's right. Even from any shit.

But it's not just their MO. What is it called? They system. Yeah. Some fuck-up shit. And how it worked. Here, yes. For sure.

But in other parts of the world, I mean, the word slave comes from Slav. Well, I mean, I'm talking about, like, from, like, I don't, I don't, when you were saying the African king and brought that at the woman. Yes, that, that was a kingdom based on slavery. And people in, most of history. Africans went and did that shit on another continent? Yes. What continent Africans went into a start? I'm telling you, people generally did not have slaves based on race

simply for the fact that they didn't move far enough from where their origin was. So they would enslave other people who looked like them sometimes. You know, it's just, it wasn't about race. It was about, if I can make you my bitch, I will. I like how you put that. Yes, that's apparently human nature for a long time. I mean, you know who had slaves the Bible, everybody in the Bible. And neither Jesus nor his dad, God, ever said a bad word about it.

They never said, don't do it. That shit not right. It's not right that that's what the Bible says, but I'm not incorrect in pointing that out. I mean, look, you can go into it and look at it like that, but where it's right is right, where it's wrong and wrong. Exactly. Now depending on how you view it. Well, I mean, I'm not. That's where you get the good people and the bad people.

true okay but the fact is neither jesus nor god in the bible condemned slavery they make laws about it but the laws never say don't do it it's a terrible thing to do they just say things like well if one man kills your slave you are allowed to kill his slave you know it's very perfunctory like that they are it never occurs because the bible is written by men of course not gods it never occurs to them to actually say this is wrong. Hey, we've got this 10 commandment list, 10 things you really shouldn't do. I say we put that on the list.

Nobody ever said that. But if somebody like me did it, then it fucked all hell to pay for. What do you mean if something like did what? Like somebody black. I want, like, when we're doing that, if you're saying that black people have slaves in Africa. All people.

When. Arabs. Everybody. Yeah, they do too. Some of them do today. Still. They're essentially slave situations going on in the world today where people are, I mean, I guess they call them indentured servants or whatever, but it's so close as to hardly

worth making the distinction. I mean, humans are not good people. No, they're not. They're not. I mean, shit. I mean, you know, you just look. when I was going on in the world right now, so you're fucked up. Like, shit.

I know. I mean, it's like, how do you even think? And then it's like, you get so much shit where individuals are so sensitive and you can't speak to shit. And if you say something or speak out or something, I was just looking at something just talking about the council culture and all that shit. Like, yeah. But it's just like, it's so fucked up. So, interesting you bring that up. This is a tequila here?

This is tequila. No, I mean, this is the one you're drinking. Oh, yes. Yeah, I was just giving you a cheese. Oh, good. Great to have you here, brother. Yeah, man. Really good to see you.

I have to tell you, when you were on real time, we got such good feedback from it. You know who emailed me and said, that football player was great. I loved him. You know who did that? Barbara Streisand. Is that right?

I shit you not. Who was that football player? He was great. That's crazy. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's why this was so easy. And, I mean, I know it was trying to get me before, but I was moving around now. Yeah, you got a big thing.

Individuals like you, that, it's another Conan, Will, or Nett, individuals that don't have this that call, that I'm going to answer for, like, no matter what. Because when y'all bring me on your own your platforms and give me an opportunity and there's no judgment, that shit is a blessing. Yeah, as long as this happens in reverse. And I don't feel judged right. You know, really? You can't do it to me either.

And you don't mind right when I quote some of my book learning because I was a history major, right? You don't mind, right? I mean, I love it when somebody tells me, hips me to something. you know, if it hasn't crossed my radar and lots of stuff doesn't cross my radar. That kind of stuff does. I mean, that's sort of what more would I do for a living.

But, I mean, on the cancel culture thing, it's funny because remember when DeMora Hamlin got hurt in that game? Okay. When he passed away? He did not pass away. Well, they said he died on the field. But he didn't.

He didn't? He's playing now. No, he came back to life, though. Came back. We did. That motherfucker. Undertaker, he died and came back. Okay, I mean, we're splitting hairs.

I don't think anyone ever comes back to life. I think you get very near where, you know, the ref calls it. But, I mean, plainly, he was down for the count, shall we say. Like a motherfucker. Like a motherfucker. Like a motherfucker. That was the medical. Okay.

But here's the thing. I remember talking about it soon after. It was early on when I started doing this podcast. So I was like, when I started this, I was like, you know what? I have a job on real time on HBO. That's my real. I don't have time to like do anything except come here, get high. By the way, I have a New Year's resolution because, you know, I'm 70 in six days.

Congratulations, good dog. For a living, right. It's worth a congratulation just to make it. A lot of people don't. You're damn right. Demar Hamlin almost didn't. I'm telling you. What you call it?

Splitting halves. So my New Year's resolution, because, like, Like, I think smoking, you know, is, and I go back and forth with smoking, eating, there's bad things about eating it, but like it's better for your lungs. But my New Year's resolution, eat more pot. Yeah, like the edible. So, yeah, so now I'm doing edible, so I may not actually smoke. But anyway, so I was here early times and was just thinking, okay, I don't want to get involved with the business end of it.

So if somebody said something, I just went along. And we had a discussion with Bob Costas, the famous sportscaster, about, this, DeMarie Hamlin. Okay. And everybody afterwards like, oh, we can't, we can't air that. It's too controversial. I was like, really? Okay, fine.

I'm not going to argue. I should have argued. And then I put it in my book, and of course, nobody said anything. And my point of view was, I had a lot to say about that Damar Hamlin thing where they canceled the game. I don't think they should have canceled the game. And that was at the time so controversial. How can you say we shouldn't have canceled the game?

What do you think? Do you think we should have canceled the game? Yeah. Why? And so many instances, right, and it's crazy as fuck. It's crazy as fuck because I'm just telling somebody this the other day, where I've seen individuals in practice, they'll go down and get hurt, and they'll turn the field, and we'll practice going the other way. And sometimes there are career-endings.

been injuries and a lot of individuals have that. So the severity of what had happened with that with DeMarre when that shit happened was something that we have never seen in our game. Yeah, we have. And for... People have died on football fields. Well, good. Well, not good like that, but...

Not good. But this part, this part. Good that they stop the game because in so many... Well, stop the game. They show no... no decency, and it's almost inhuman the way that the NFL rock when it comes to such and shit like that. And I'm saying that from being a player.

Okay, let me see if I can convince you with my argument. Number one, very bad logic here. Everyone said after it happened, the most important thing is DeMar Hamlin's life. The game is not important. Correct. No one's arguing with that. Here's where you have bad logic come into it. what difference does it make to his life,

which again is the most important thing if we play the game? He's already in the ambulance on the way to the hospital or at the hospital. We're not asking him to suit up again. I mean, how could it actually affect his life if we played the game? Would the surgeons doing the work on him be distracted?

I'm watching the game out of the corner of my eye. I swear to God, no, one doesn't affect the other. And what about the fans, the fans who spent all that year? This was an important game as to placement in the playoffs. It was a game that had to be played, but it wasn't played. And all these people in Buffalo and was it Cincinnati, you know, these working class towns who, this is their whole life, a lot of them, is the team and how the team's going to do.

They sweat with them all year. They sweat with them when they. They fucking have a losing season. Now they're in it. And they, you know, what it takes to get out to the stadium in the cold, babysitters, money, blah, blah, blah, parking. And you're just going to send him home with a ticket stub because one guy got hurt as we all see in football all the time. And it doesn't matter if he's at the hospital and we play the game. Now, argue with that.

The humanity. That's what they leave with. Not a ticket. It's not humanity. Yeah, it is. Why is a humanity? Because I mean, you're desensitized to the shit going on. And especially, now, I'm just speaking personally for me.

I remember my first NFL game got drafted to Buffalo in 2007. And the very first kickoff of my regular season, Kevin Heverick was going down on kickoff. got hit, and he landed there lifeless. Now, from what they tell us on the sideline, he'll be paralyzed from the neck down. They brought out a stretcher full of ice and put everybody on ice. I'm my first hit in the NFL,

and I'm like, this is why I got to look forward to. I don't know how long I'm going to play. Well, look, we sign up for that, all the shit is in the third. This is the business we've chosen. Why, I'm saying, it was so big that they did that it would cut the human nation. in that decision to do that, I think that made a lot of sense for NFL fans

around the world. Just hearing the optics of that. Somebody just died on the field and then, I just think, oh, got him up. Now get back to the. Yeah, now get back to the game. Again, all these fans came out to the stadium and rearranged their life.

And it's such an important game. And again, it did not. If we have to sacrifice one for the other, it's like, well, if we play the game, there's less like a chance that Demara Hamlin will live. No, I had nothing to do with it. You know who got this? Him, when they woke him up, the first thing he said wasn't, how am I? It's, did we win? Those were his first words.

No, you didn't, DeMarre, because they didn't play the game because you live in stupid land. The last thing that he, not stupid land, the last thing that he remembered was that he was on the field if he remembered that. But the thing is, I know when I called, I never spoke about this either, but I reached out to the family where I mean in the hospital. Because, like I said, I've been to that point where I've seen two of my teammates on the field and lifeless carried out on a stretcher. Like I said, Kevin Everton and then, Ricardo Lockett. And Ricardo Lockett, I actually took the fine, stayed in Dallas and went to the hospital to see him. When he come to, after surgeries and everything, bro, thank you.

I appreciate you being here because of how you was here for the support. I'm not sure after the game how many individuals actually went over there to see him. But that alone, that's the humanity and the decency that I'm talking about within the people. If it's all about just the game and the show must continue, the show must go on. Exactly. Well, for them to do that, that was a big fucking moment to show that. You know what I mean? A human life was bigger than all the hooplapped.

It is. The show business and everything goes going on. No one's denying it's bigger. It's just saying this is football. Football's a sport that we love because, first of all, you know, the hypocrisy of this. If they really cared about people getting hurt in football, they wouldn't cancel the game. They'd cancel the sport. Well, because it's not every game that's something like that happens.

Yes, it is. Every single game. It's not every game when motherfucker die on the field. I swear to God. to that degree. So that's what I'm saying. Every single game you see, you know, and so, oh, and the dancers get sort of quiet and they go, we'll step aside. That's their big saying to tell you, oh, just scrape the bodies off and now a word from national insurance and we'll step aside. Yeah, because you talk about maybe a spring ankle or, you know, I twist my, I twist my leg.

I've seen one that I couldn't even stand to look at on the replay. But you can stand to say, keep the game going after you just see a motherfucker collapse? Every game. It's just football. We play in the rain. We play in the snow. Hold on. Now I think you trolling me. I am not trolling you. Did you spend my drink? You fuck.

Hey, we need another motherfucking kill, man. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. No, no, no. I got it. I got you. But no, no, I think you trolling me now. I'm not trolling you. In decency. No, no, no.

Oh, no. It's already. barbaric as fuck. So like I said, for them to show the, I'm gonna call it the support for that young man when that shit happened. It's not about, that shit is big. That she was huge for the sport. We all supported him where no one is unsupporting him. It has, we're not disrespecting him. We're, you could make an argument. This is respecting him. This is what he loved to do. This is the game he played with his team. He's, everybody has to sacrifice for again, no real actual reason that would actually affect his health. But let's get off this. We're obviously never going to agree. But I did notice that they, just to refresh your memory, it wasn't like immediately they thought they were going to play.

They sent the players into the locker room to get their heads together. The plan was we go back out and play. So it wasn't a fate of complete. They did was reschedule it. No, but they first thought, let's, you know, let's just give the players a minute. But then they saw some of them crying on the sidelines. By the way, there's no. They realize, oh, shit, we're human.

There's no crying in football. Somebody who made that call must have to remember, like, oh, shit, I'm a human. I got a fucking heart in here. I got some decency about myself. Oh, you know what? I'm a fan. Let's reschedule this shit and come back. My name is Roy G. Anybody, and I live in Cincinnati, and I came out to see this game.

I work over at the canning plant. You know, I sit on a pickle barrel 12 hours a day, and I put this little screw on the top of this bottle all day long. And my wife, she doesn't fuck me anymore, and my kids hate me. And I love the Bengals. I heard that's a merry life. You don't get no pussy, my boy? Shit.

Well, I see this conversation has taken quite a turn. No, no, but go here, Roy. Tell me about no, Roy. Hey, Roy, do you? I'm saying, I heard you, your mom died. I live and breathe the Bengals or the bills or whatever, and

thank God I don't live and breathe the Jets, because they're just, oh, my gosh. Shit, you might have wanted them to cancel the season. Why is it, by the way, that some teams never seem to be able to get their shit together? Is that from the top? It must be, right? I mean, but I don't know if, like, sometimes I believe, like, they're okay with that. They're okay with losing.

With being shitty. Because it's cheaper? I mean, not that I think it's cheap. It's almost like, shit, the check don't clear. I mean, we're gonna give the hope in our press conference to make it seem like we really trying to do nothing and then you really don't. Like, you know, well, you gonna clear, what,

I think like a billion for every franchise gonna clear a billion anyway? Like, I'm gonna make my money regardless. That is certainly part of the problem. There is no incentive for the New York football team to ever put out good product on the field because every game will sell out. It is New York.

And the population and the history and blah, blah, blah, and they only play once a week. It's not a hard thing to sell. And Hope Springs Eternal. So, like, even if you suck this year. You know, it's not like they don't try. They just seem to, I don't know, New York teams just seem to.

And it's hard to say, because it's like, I don't think players actually go out there, like, oh, I'm going to just be ass. Like, nah, but. But as a whole, like, you know, I've been in organizations where, you know, it's like, shit, just come to work. And then I actually, you know, organization was like, hey, I'm glad you all here today. And you can feel the difference. Like, which was which?

Seattle was good. Yeah. And when I was in, I mean, when I was in Oakland, that was just more like, I'm home. So, I mean, you know, I don't even know if I was really. processing or thinking, but, you know, I got to build a relationship with Mark, and it was outside of... Mark Davis? Yeah, outside of anything...

You know they're doing a movie about him now? The Madden movie? What? The Madden movie? Yeah. Yeah, I'm in it. You're in it? Yeah.

Why don't you save that for now? You're in the Madden movie. I just, I mean, you know, I'd just be doing shit, really. Right. You know, it wasn't nothing that was... Yeah, I mean, but then when I was at Buffalo and we were... we was at it was like you know motherfucker they i used to know i'm watching coaches backdoor other coaches and you know what i mean wait wait what's that mean like back door yeah like the coach was

you know i mean he was more of like a player coach and then and the defensive coordinator was like you know all around and he did some shady shit to him and when he got fired and they named uh of a, I mean, the D coordinator as the interim head coach, it was like, I finally got his ass up out of here, yes. Like, this is my shit. And when you win an organization like that with individuals who really don't got no love for everybody within an organization, you can't be successful.

Between the backbiting and the crying during the game, the NFL is a lot gayer than I thought. There's some gay shit going on in that motherfucker as shit. Really? Man. Like gay gay gay? No, you know how you like the figure of speech. I understand.

Like Eminem used to say, you'd have to explain to myself. I don't mean gay gay, I mean gay gay. Oh my God. Ro, you're funny as shit. Oh, good. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. Yeah, you is a funny motherfucker. Next time you're here, you me and stricent.

That's, we're gonna like- Oh, I can meet her? Chop it up. She liked you. I mean, it's possible. Oh, yeah. That's tight. Yeah, that would be very tight.

I think we might have to go out to her. I don't know. All right. But she's busy and, you know, a superstar and we're just us. But, you know, it could happen. Well, you know what? I'm going to have a shot for it in and shit.

It's all. That you should. That deserves it. And what do you got there? The Hennessy going? Yeah, I got a little hand. over here. Is that where you started with and you stuck with? Yeah, yeah.

You're loyal to that? Don't know why. Don't know how. Well, you know, like when you're in your 20s, oh, that's right. Everybody does that thing. They not do the fucking thing over. But like when you're in your 20s, like you're searching for so many things in life, but one of the things is your liquor.

You know, when I was in my 20s, I had no fixed drink. I was like, you know, and then at some point it was like, okay, I'm a jack. I'm a Jack Daniels drinker. And then I switched to tequila because it's a little healthier. Okay. A little healthier. Yeah. Oh, you're agave.

What? Agave. What's that? And the tequila. Oh, agave, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look, it's all poison, but, you know, there's poison and there's poison.

You pick your poison. You pick your poison. You pick your boy. Exactly. I picked a different poison. Okay. And maybe it's just bullshit. But, no, I think Jack's a little heavier. I think it's probably a little more sugar.

A little more, I don't know, brown liquor is, I mean, it's the greatest. Shit. But, you know, people love, like scotch, I hate. Yeah, that shit. Nah, I can't fucking know scotch. It's just a terrible, terrible taste. I don't get it. But people love vodka, you know, vodka's.

They can't fucking know vodka. Gin? No. I think I tried Tanger Ray from Janet Jules. and that shit didn't end well. My uncle, for his birthday, we fucked around with gin and juice in. Gin and juice.

Oh, throwing up everywhere. I know the song. Now fill me in on the history. It's gin and juice? I mean, what kind of juice? Any kind of juice? Oh, shit. Are you spilling your shit, too?

No, no, I just... They used to make this Daffy Duck orange juice. I can't. I didn't remember the fucking name. It was an orange juice. I can't be right. And they had Daffy Duck on the bottle. My auntie used to drink this shit out of this, rest in peace.

But she used to, I'm talking about, take that shit to the neck, baby. God damn. This is family? Yeah. For real shit. I was like, god damn. I don't know how she drank that nasty. Was there addiction in your family?

Addiction? I mean, my daddy was a dope thing. Well, that might count. Yeah, I mean, a dope fiend, I would say. Yeah, you see me, I'm a crack baby, you feel me? I think that's, you are? Yeah, I think that's more where the beast, the beast model shit really comes from. You think it was affected you even as an end, probably does.

Hell yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, whatever goes through the mother. Hell is strong than a motherfucker. What? I said, I was hella strong than a motherfucker. Right. I think it gave me the nigger superpowers and shit like.

But, so when you say dope, you mean caroan? Crack. Crack? Yeah. You call crack dope? I guess anything can be dope. Yeah, I even sometimes talk about pot like it's dope. Yeah, we call a dody dope, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I mean. Anything that you like that you could abuse, I would call dope. Yeah. But, I mean, dope. But you don't seem like that. like you've ever had a problem. No, I ain't got no. Like, am I addict?

Yeah. No, I mean, like people, I make the joke, you know, that I've been smoking pot 50 years. I'm not addicted. You're addicted. And I am not. You're doffing for some weeks. Oh, I know, no. But I want to tell you the difference.

I know what it's like to have an addiction because I smoked and there was a small time when I did cocaine. Those drugs. Is it right? You would have to add a little bit. baking soda you would have had you some crack and kicked that motherfucker exactly yeah I mean well I'm glad I didn't try that but uh here's the difference very productive what you'd be very productive I was very productive I mean I did speed in college and I was very productive

shit I also remember doing it once I don't know if you just fucking with me right now oh no no no no no no very productive are you can't how could you not be okay I mean I mean we got the real thing For some reason at Cornell and Ithaca, New York, that was like a hub for like the best at the time. I mean, we're talking about the mid-70s, okay? But there were crystal bends, crystal meth, and I never had a drug like this. Like you would snort one line.

It would destroy, you would be so painful in the nose, and then you would be high for 12 hours and couldn't sleep for two days. From like one line. It was, that shit was awesome, but there was a downside to it. How'd I come down with us? Oh my God.

But drugs like that, no, not speed. That never, I mean, once you recovered from that, you didn't want to face it again for months. And then, of course, you did. But, like, cigarettes and even Coke, like, they would call to me, do me. They're asking me, the cigarette especially was like, smoke me now. I've never had that with pot. I can not smoke pot for a week, and I never even think about it.

If I'm not doing something where I want to be high, Like living. No, I'm kidding. So that program, so when I got put in that program, my first time, I remember it was coming to training camp, and I couldn't blow no dope.

So I'm like, fuck. And I mean, like, the first week of training camp, I mean, I was having withdrawals, cold sweat, my motherfucking stomach was in knots, all kind of shit. And I couldn't believe that shit. And I'm like, this is just on from me.

Just fucking want to. You're killing me now. I was gonna have, oh damn, they gave you. My New Year's resolution, none of me gonna last a day. Yeah, they gave you a good, oh, look at that. So this is just flower in here that I can, what form do you smoke it in?

Do you smoke it in a bong? What? And a wood. And a joint? A backwood or a faunt a leaf. A what? A backwood. What's a backwood?

Sounds like a leaf. Sounds like an insult you could get canceled for you backwood. Slow down, man. He called him a backwood? Slow down. You never heard backward. You come around my part, so you'd be all right to call somebody a backward unless they smoke jays or... This comes from, I'm blighting this for you purely.

This comes from this right over there, we grow it. You grow your own dope too? Absolutely, sir. Yeah, man, you got an operation here. Yeah, I'm living here. Well, I mean, not for. sailor and it's just a one plant it would sound like I have a bunch of naked

women like in the movies where they're like doing it. Oh shit I've been in this bathroom over there. Oh yeah that's a doll. That's Whitney Cummings. Man that shit scared the fuck out of it. I know. I already had to take a shit but then when I went up there and almost shitting on myself but that

that shit was scared the fuck out of me though. You took a shit here? Yeah I shitting go to me. Oh Lord. What you're Hey man we're family though now We are now We family now

Because that must be a humongous shit That you think I mean I don't even want to I'm telling you after that damn Who scared the shit out of me I ain't had no choice otherwise Oh my god That I would cancel the game

Oh man I would cancel the game But that shit No real shit Man But god damn That's some dope I mean you got a lot of

Just doing this for you That's it Yeah, see, that's a nice leaf right here, too. But, yeah, this is... Hey, okay, okay. This is nice stuff. Nice, uh... Now, how did you strike upon this logo?

This is beast, right? Because it looks beastie. No, that's not beast. Oh, no. Like I said, that's Doty right, yeah. Oh, what's happening? What's Doty mean? So, I mean, you know, between me and my cousins,

what we used to call what you call it pot yeah yeah yes in the in the in the in the suburbs where us lame white people are we call it pot but now we're just you feel me what's up that dody roll that dody yeah yeah yeah ask me some of that pot no if asked me some of that dough fellow that's my cousin name too fellow no I promise and you know where he would came he would he would he would he would have loved to do this right now. His name is fellow? Fellow. That's kind of a cool name. He would have said that.

Hey, pass me that dope, fellow. Or fellow pass me the dope, well? That's weird. That's, you know, that's some spooky shit right there. You're on your shit. You really on your shit. I see that. Well, you're not going to

start a big fight about that, Marjohn. I am definitely on my shit. But sometimes, you know, coincidence is and I am, of course, I mean, the place is called club random. It's not called club chasmad or club fate or club religious. It's club random. I am a person who believes things are random.

That's, you know, just me. Even this situation here? No, we arrange this. I mean, no, I mean more philosophically. Like lots of people see patterns in things that I think are coincidental. I didn't always see it that way, but I do now. But I don't know, sometimes things do happen that are very weird, and it's very hard to explain. I'm not going to say that I know everything.

I did a movie that is, you know, let's be honest, an anti-religious movie called Religious But even in that, I say that I preach the gospel of I don't know. I don't preach the gospel of like there is definitely no God. I, I don't, it doesn't matter to me if there is or not. I'll never know. It doesn't seem like there is. And if there is, he's a weird dude who, like, has no sense of justice. You know, everything seems random anyway.

So maybe there is, maybe there is. And it just doesn't matter to me. But what about your belief? That is, I just told you what my belief was. That is my goal. What? That it don't matter. That it don't.

Well, behavior matters. Ethics matter. How I behave matters. Yes. What do I believe is behind that? No, because I'll never know and you have to be a good person just for the sake of it You have to just accept that a priori that I am a good person or I want to be that way You can justify it by saying well, it benefits the community, which it does But ultimately it just has to be on you and you know a lot of that is just how you were raised You know and

But again that's that's a crapshoot too, because I know people who have had the worst backgrounds, and they turn out to be the most solid individuals. And then I know people who had very fortunate upbringings, and they're just pieces of shit. Yeah. So when did you, or how did you take that and then turn that into entertainment? Because, I mean, you are an entertainer.

Oh, I would like to think so. I just... You're not? I just lost a Golden Globe. Of course I'm an entertainer. Well, I mean, shit. What sort of person who just loses a golden globe, along with his 33 Emmy losses, isn't an entertainer, of course. I mean, losing don't.

No. It don't define a mother-plice or not winning, I should say. First of all, it's not, I've said this on other podcasts, but it's not losing, because unlike what you do for a living, it's just someone's an opinion. When the Seattle Seahawks won the Super Bowl, it wasn't someone's opinion that they won it. You won it. Right. That's a huge difference. They talk about you won the thing.

You didn't win any. You won the opinion of a bunch of people who were predisposed to think like you're woke ass. That ain't me. So, you know. That ain't me. And I don't want it to be me. I'm free to talk however I want. That means more than any award.

You goddamn right. And I mean, that's why I was talking about the council culture. but you say you was a historian. Well, I said I was a history major. A history man. Ain't that a historian? They ain't the same shit? No.

No. No. A historian is someone who does it for a living and does it on a level way beyond where I am. I'm just a, I'm like an amateur historian. Okay. It's my interest. It was my major in college. I like history.

I have a, I can talk to a historian. I can't do what a historian does. I can't write a tome on the American Revolution, although I could tell you things about it. That's not a historian, but it's just an interest. Not so. I'm not ever not perplexed why people aren't more interested in history because it's the story of people,

and it's always so fascinating, the way they really acted. You know, you don't have to make the shit up. Crazy shit went on. So how was your history? Because when you talk about him, My history wasn't like that. What do you mean? Like when I was learning that shit in school, like...

What did they teach? Shit, I don't... Who fuck history? Not like that, but I mean, my history was just like... Like, I would say, like, bare minimum. Oh, what's his name? Christopher Columbus came here and he discovered America. Yeah.

Well, he never even... There was some black slaves. And, yo, you... Yeah, again, there are a few... It was fucked up. From what... The picture that they painted of individuals that I've seen in our history books that look like me is not a good picture. It's not a good picture.

And that's absolutely true. White people did horrible things. That's not all they did, and they're not the only ones who did it. But I'm saying for the history that they was teaching... While I was in school. Absolutely. It was something. But, but again.

Like, they would make me believe that I'm really not shit based off of what was in these history books and what we had. So I'm like, why the fuck would I be interested in you making me learn about why I'm not shit? The scorebed app here with trusted stats in real-time sports news. Yeah, hey, who should I take in the Boston game?

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So your experience before takeoff is a taste of what's to come. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Conditions apply. Let's just take one example. Spain. To white people. Fuck Spain. I don't know. No, I like Spain. I like Spain. I'm

fucking around in the Beezza. And Beezer was very nice to me. Okay, so Spain, right? Okay, these are white Europeans. Okay, they come to America. Obviously, they mix in with the native population. That's why.

You was going to say, Ambians. time. Well, native, whoever. Yeah, they were Indian. You was about to say Indian. Why not? What's wrong with Indian? I don't know, because you didn't say it. You switched and I said another. Well, because Indians usually think of America. I mean, they were Indians, but they were the Indians of Central and South America. So that's why the Spanish is spoken in all these places. But like the Spaniards, they were as cruel as it got. And for example, Haiti has a large black population because the Spaniards kill.

so much of the native population they had to import people from Africa as slaves because they killed all the workers who were like indigenous again humans not they wasn't from Haiti they came from Spain came over there cleaned up shop and then went to another shop and brought some different kind of people in and put them under the same conditions well the French got into Haiti at some point Shit. And they fucked it up even unto the... In fact, Killer Mike was talking about this

on my last show of the season. How the French... You said Killer Mike? Killer Mike? Oh yeah, that nigga is. He's official. I fuck with a big dog. You mad at him?

I love him. That's my dog. Are you kidding? Hell yeah. He took me to the blue flame. See what I'm talking? Damn. Maybe I need to tap in with him.

You definitely do. Was it a hell of ass cheeks? It was so ridiculous. It was like a cartoon. Ridiculous. To me. Oh, in a good way. Not in a good way.

It was hell out. That much ass. It was bad. You know what? People have different ideas of beauty. And people have, we are all allowed to have, like, you know, when you order in a restaurant, I like it rare and you like it well done. Whatever. You got that damn right.

Okay. So, like, I've never been, what? We're shaking on that. Okay, great. So I just, I've been the strip clubs. I just was never to one like that where it was so exaggerated. The, I mean, the bulbousness of the buttocks sometimes matched by a voluptuousness of the Chesterl region. Titties.

Yes. Big ass. Like God. It sounds like you was in over your head. You wasn't ready for all that ass. I was, I was completely ready for it. It was literally over my head. I couldn't.

I couldn't. I love it. I mean, and of course, you know, Mike breaks his records there sometimes, you know. You know, it's much more, it's a strip club. Tripped sort of into after hours places, you know. It's a, like, I mean, Mike's wife came with this. It wasn't like some sort of like 90s strip club kind of scene. It was cool.

It's a vibe. It's a vibe, exactly. And, you know, he would get a stack of ones and they'd throw the money in the air. I've never been to. Did you make it ring? I do not like doing that. I think it's hard. You did, though.

I did not. You didn't try it. I did not. What I did was sit with the one girl there who did not have the body like that. She was very nice. You got some flat butt? Not flat. Not flat, sir.

Not flat, but not like a... But was the booty row ton? Now you sound white. Was the booty rotund? What do you carnat? No, that's it. Okay. She was a very attractive girl.

It's okay. Anyway, I calmly sat there and asked her, you know, they're very aggressive, the young lady. Yeah, they're going to come throw some ass cheeks in a circle. Yes. I was like, please, let's just sit first. And no singles in the air. I would just tip her with $100 bills. She seemed to think that was okay.

Oh, you sound like the perfect trick. Exactly. Oh, so I know it was loving you then. It was fine. Yeah. I tip everybody big, like not just strippers. I talk to waiters and valet people. It's one of the nice things about having money.

You can tip in 50s and hundreds. And people, you know what, people really like getting free money? I don't know what it is about it, but it really goes over big. It do. And it makes me feel good, too. Anyway. So, like, no, did I participate, perhaps when in Rome? Did I act like a Roman?

I apparently did not. But that's okay. I was true to myself. All right. I did a strip club the way I do it, you know? So tuition was paid? Probably car note. No.

No. It was, no. It was a few hundred dollars in, but in hundreds. She didn't have to crawl on the ground and get it in dirt. in dirty ones. That was my point. That's what I don't like. It's for the presentation, though. I don't like that. You know what I mean? Making people get on the ground. You're not making nobody doing that. Well, you are. If they want the money, they have to get on the ground and pick up dirty singles.

No, no, they don't have to. They don't have to. There's somebody that comes through with a push brush in a bag and they'll scoop their shit at a form done. All right. Here, I got a question. It's a process. Say you do the thing where you make it rain. You do the thing. Wait a second. Wait a second. You'd make it rain. The strippers were all there picking up their dirty singles, and one of them has a terrible heart attack right there.

Do you stop to- Do you close the strip club? You'd know they're closing that, motherfucker. I don't think they should. I don't think they should. Take this. Oh, you're throwing me. Take the stripper.

Put a banana in a tail five, man. If you were in that strip club, and the ambulance came, and they took the stripper out, wouldn't you be like, okay, well, what can I do now? Why should we go home? We're here. We're queer. We're drunk.

We got all the weed. Slow down, slow down. The chicks are here. They need to make a living. They need to make a living. Hell no, hell no. You know you'd want to stay. Fuck no, fuck no.

Everybody. We've been gone. But the queer, what's that mean? Huh? Oh, that's just the saying. You know, remember the... No, hell, no. No, I don't do that same.

No, I don't do... I would have been... Once I seen the motherfucker fall out, I'd have got the fuck up and I would have cut. But I don't stick around for shit like that. No. And then you start getting questioned this shit and you know how that go. Why?

I don't know nothing. You didn't do it. You're right. And I wouldn't be there to find out what the fuck was going on. You get the fuck on up out of them situation. Are you, do you have a family? Like kids and shit? Yeah, that's it would be, yeah.

No. No kids? Oh, look at us. No kids. Look at us. No kids. That's very rare. Man, I've seen a lot.

I've seen a lot coming up. Seen a lot of kids? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Man, you feel me, though? Baby mama's and shit like that. You're married? No.

Not married. Like me. Look at us. Look at us. Free men. Free men. You know what? What?

That's exactly what it is. Right. But I, you feel me? Like, when that time comes, for sure. What time comes? For the kids and all that. Oh, you do want it someday. Yeah.

Really? Mm-hmm. Well, you better-go. I've seen a lot of, like, I've seen a lot of shit, like, real early coming up. Like what? Like, that shit fucked up my mind. Right. Yeah.

Like, you know, I've seen a lot of my family members have kids early. Yeah, it's too early. Yeah, and that shit did not... Kids having kids. It didn't play. But the thing is, I'm not a kid now, but now it's just more so, you feel, me, though, in my position finding the right shit.

And then we could get there. Well, you know, when a man gets married, as this is my observation, obviously I haven't done it personally, but it seems to me who they choose is not always who the outside world thinks they're going to choose, because what they're mostly looking for

is someone who is, not going to kill their child like if I leave you alone with this child don't kill it mm-hmm that's like you know yeah I mean god damn like that that should be like automatic right it should be but like but like some I've certainly had enough girls call me up and my old girlfriends and so forth they're like I why are I married like I'm prettier than than she is yeah but you might kill the kid that's why you know get your shit together like Like, should I get another boob drop?

No, your boobs are big now. What are you talking about? The reason why you're not married isn't because your boobs aren't even bigger. Read a book. Some insecure shit or something. I mean, you know, like, do what you do to make yourself feel, you know, appreciated and I mean happy. What do you do for that? What do you do to make yourself feel appreciated?

You said what I do. You said it. I do things that I appreciate doing. Like? Like for one, I don't, I'm not like a, I'm up at all weird times and shit. Me too. I really appreciate sleep. Yeah, me too.

You know, I get to the point where it's like just a simple thing. Where do you're my age? You'll appreciate it even more because it gets a little harder. Yeah, I appreciate very simple. things, sit down and have a good-ass meal to sit down and have a good-ass conversation with somebody with, you feel me, though, no intent, just genuine conversation, like things like that. I'm sitting right here. No, that's what I said.

Anytime you called, hey, what's up, big dog, I'm going to come through, and I'm going to function with you, you, you feel me? Because especially in the sense at a position out of the way. It's amazing with all the talk that's out there. I mean, there's a million podcasts, blah, blah, blah. I don't see a lot of real conversation like this. I really don't. I'm not putting anybody down.

I'm just saying it just always looks more like an interview, and this is never going to be an interview. I mean, you're lucky if you get me sober for even a minute. And I don't want to be. I mean, if I could. I mean, I remember when I was first smoking pot and first getting high, I remember thinking often, like, why couldn't God, I guess I still believed in God, why couldn't God, the truth shall set you free? Have just, why couldn't he have just made the pot air so that we were always, I always felt this good?

Always. What's the deal with, I have to like smoke something to feel this good? Why can't you just make it that way? Well, I'm going to tell you like, if you want that, then you probably need to go holl out my cousin fellow. and it'll be like the air is pot, because mine smoke like a chimney, you know what I'm talking about? Like, I know a lot of people like Snoop, blow it down type shit. Yes.

But I don't know, I think Phelah give him a row for money. No, Snoop is one of them. I mean, there are even some white dudes who did that, Willie Nelson. Paul McCartney, I think at one point, not I think recently, but I think at one point he was the kind of dude who just smoked all day long. Yeah. I mean, people who like, buy it and use it in ounces. I was never that guy. A little bit, a little dab will do you for me. Like a dab? A little, a little, oh, you're talking about a, no, not like a little dab. That dab shit is worse. No, that was an old advertising slogan, a little for shit that you put in your hair, a little dab will do you. All right. Educate. Because I thought a dab was, you put that shit in there and you hit that motherfucker in. No. That shit is...

But... I never thought that after you get basically high for the first time, you get a lot higher by continuing to smoke. If you did, you know, I would do it.

But I just feel like it's almost just the ritual of it. Yeah. And it's probably worse for your lungs with very little you know, upside for your your brain. I could be wrong and everybody's different. Well, you've been smoking and you're about to touch 70, so. Yes, I've been smoking. I'm very proud of the fact that I've been smoking for a half

a century. Congratulations to that too. I know. And this probably made you a better person. Oh, it definitely made me a richer one. Well, she did. I mean, it's just as far as the creativity goes, we'd be doing this in a two-bedroom apartment in Van Nuys. if I hadn't smoked pot, I think, you know. Well, then you sound like you got some of the ivory. You ever seen the movie, How High? The movie, what? How high.

How high? Yeah, with Red Man and Method Man. Oh, I think so, yeah. Yeah, see, they have some weed called the ivory. And when you smoke the ivory, you feel like me, you get high, and you see ivory. And then he helped you on all the tests and shit, and then you get eggs at Harvard. Okay, I didn't understand any of that. That's all right.

What is ivory and what do you mean? Ivory is, was the weed. Their homeboy had died. Ivory's the name of the strand of weed? It was the name of the weed. And they would smoke the ivory. And it was exceptional? Oh, my God.

What I'm telling you? They would smoke the ivory and ivory would appear. You know what I mean? No. Yeah. What do you mean appear? Appear, like he right here. Me and you smoke an ivory right now.

And here go ivory right here. Who's ivory? I thought it was the weed. Yeah. That's how high you get from smoking the ivory. But what do you mean then? What do you mean he's right there? He would appear.

A leprechaun ivory? No, he, he for ivory, though. You got to see the movie. Oh, I see. It's a character in the movie. Yeah, you got to see the movie. Okay. So, hold on.

You smoking the ivory right now. No, we were smoking money. Yeah, I know. That ain't ivory. It's good, don't know. And it's, I can. Because you thought I'll talk on the real. I can guarantee it's pure.

I have some good dope. You know, I can guarantee that it's not filled with chemicals, pesticides, you know. You grow it the right way? We grow it the right way. Yes. That's very important to me. Yeah. A good, clean high.

You got to watch how high, though. What? I say you got to watch how high. I will. How high? Yeah. Okay. I will dial it up on.

Ferango and Ferango. What is it Ferango? Is that what it was? It used to be voodoo. It's the only service I have that always works. It's amazing. Like everything else fucking shuts me off for no good reason.

Like, does that happen to you? Your internet service? Well, like you know, like Amazon, like all the streaming services, like oh, sorry, I'm like, what, I didn't do anything. You know, what they're doing is they're just trying to prevent people from I guess, you know, scamming it or whatever.

They make you restarted with your with your passcode and all that bullshit. I don't know what my fucking passcode was for getting into Amazon or whatever. They say that shit. So you got, I think it might be on crime. Well, it's definitely on Fardango at home or whatever. I can remember what I can't think of what that fucking place is. Oh, shit. But that one never fucking locks me out.

It's just like, oh, it's just the way it always should be. Whatever I want, I just look. Oh, there it is. And then, oh, would you like it? Yes. Oh, success. Nobody ever, like, fucking bugs me, nags me. Like, every other device.

So did they give you a password to log in? What happened? For dango, did they give you? No, they did maybe years ago. I'm saying they, ever. sins. They've just like, good, you're good. We got your credit card and you're good. And everybody else is like,

ah, prove it again. Straight up. It's been three months. Prove it again. You didn't order anything this week. Are you still you? Yes, I am. I just want tube socks, you fuck. Just let me in. Assholes. They want to check to see if you

are bought. Exactly. That too. Put them numbers. Oh. I told you everybody does this. All right. Now it's on your side. You have to get it. Come on, you're a professional athlete. How hard can it be? Shit, I watched you struggle putting that motherfucker on there.

Right. Well, don't put it on your head. They'll think you're drunk. No, I don't know. That thing going right on time. You miss playing? You miss being a professional athlete? No, man, I had a...

It must be. A good career while I'm playing. And also, you must always be in pain. I mean, if I don't work out, then, yeah. No, I mean, when you're playing, you can't, like, have all these rough men like hitting you 40 times a game and not be fucking in pain the next day.

Come on. Nah, I mean, you know, like you was talking about, it's a part of the game, but, I mean, you've got the process that you've got to work through an order to make sure you can get to the next week. But you didn't live on, like, Tylenol and shit like that, and all Advil and stuff to... Nah, dope.

Yeah. Well, I mean, that certainly is the narrative often when you see players or even see them portrayed in movies like North Dallas 40. You must have seen that. Never saw North Dallas 40? Mm-mm. Okay, it's the first and best football movie ever.

You have to see it. Well, see it. North Dallas 40. And then... I might shake it up. And what about... North Dallas 40. North Dallas 40.

It's about a football team. It's awesome. Nick Nalty, Mac Davis. When did this come out? 70s. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, it doesn't mean it's bad.

No, I'm just saying that's a real OG shit. Just remember, they were doing it first. And then Oliver Stone, the director, made any given Sunday in 1999. You saw that one? Mm-hmm. You did? Hell yeah. That's the one where I remember Jamie Fox and.

Remember the Tigers Denzel? L.O. Cool, J., I think. No. Any given Sunday? Well, they were both in the movie. Any given Sunday. One of them punched the other in the face on the set. That's any given Sunday.

Remember the Titans is with it. Oh, it's good. That's good, too. That's Al Pacino. Cameron Diaz is the team owner, the daughter of the team owner, whatever. Jamie Fox is great. It's good. You never saw that one either?

Yeah. Okay. Now watch North Dallas 40. Can't go check that one, North Dallas 40. Yes, it's really good. I know they're in the back of year, and I'm going to tell them when I get up. Everything they did in any given Sunday

they had already done in North Dallas 40 about how they make the players get back on the field when they really shouldn't by giving them pain killers and shit. That whole expose of what it takes to get on the field, and that is where they really did it first. I mean, it's a process. It's a process like a mother. I mean, in that one...

But see, though, you gotta think, though, like, as a game got, as a game evolved, there was more, I think they found more methods. Like, with the massage, you got the hyperbaric chamber chamber, the ice bath, the sinus steam room, massage, acupuncture, PT work, level three stretches. Yes. Chiro practice, all kind of shit. So, I mean, you know, when you manipulate the body to feel. better. But it is still the human body with human limitations. Yeah, you're right. But the mind

is a powerful motherfucking thing. Well, that's always... And they get to mind over matter in certain situations. Well, you're talking about elite athletes and you certainly were that, a Hall of Fame player. Oh, shit. What? You can't just go around throwing shit. You know what? This is club random for show. You just going out soon. What? What did you say?

I said... You know, you know, you know, You know, you were in an elite athlete, a Hall of Fame player. See, I just probably needed you to say that twice. Oh, okay. All right. When the voter seat kind of seat. No one would really dispute that. No, I'm just saying, though.

But, you know, it is always about the mental edge. Yeah, for sure. I mean, even the most gifted physical players are not that much more gifted than the level right behind them. I mean, was Michael Jordan gifted? Of course he was physically. But it was the mental edge. You know, there is a mental component. Same thing with tennis players.

They say if you watched the top 200 players in the world just in practice, you could never tell who the champs are and who the also rins are. It's something in the game, Djokovic and people like that. It just will not lose. And that's the difference. It is mental. The conscientiousness of these individuals. It, I mean, you know what it, it, because I mean, and you got to be a little off.

Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? You know, like. That'd be a little off to do anything great. You're right. You're right. I like that. You know?

So, I mean, when you get an individual that I like that, and then they can put the physical attributes behind it, you get a dangerous person. But using the mind, though, is so fucking powerful. And, I mean, I wish I would have known that. earlier, especially in my career. Because I mean, you know, I was just like, oh, hard work, and I'm going to be able to be, you know, if I do this, I should be right on time, I should be good.

But then when I incorporated the mental aspect of what I was actually doing and I thought about it, then when I broke it down, that shit turned into like, you know what I mean, how individuals say, you playing chess. I mean, you play a checker. and I'm playing chess. That's what the game turned into for me, where I was playing chess

against individuals who was playing checkers. What's the difference? What's the turning point? Give me a specific moment, like, in a game and what you did that illustrates that. I know, like, I've heard defensive guys say, like, I will notice something early in the game that a guy, a weakness,

and I won't use it until, like, two minutes. left in the game when it's key yeah and then I will take advantage of that is that what you're talking about that's like most definitely but I had Ray Lewis my rookie year he told him I know every time I know what you're doing every time you're fin to do it whether you're going out for a pass if it's a run play if you're running right if you run it left no matter what and I'm like what the fuck like you know I ain't want to pay no attention to it because I'm playing against him when I'm I'm thinking he's trying to be on some jet out of mind trick type shit.

So, you know what I mean? But get to the line of scrimmage. And then if we went to, look, if we run in right, he'll call that shit out. And I'm like, man, what the fuck is going? Like, the fuck is going on? What you mean by that? Like, yeah, you know, if it's a run play, you'll come up. No, if it's a round play, you'll back up.

If it's a pass play, you'll come. you'll come up. And I'm like, what you mean? Like, if it's a pass play, you want to be able to get to the, if it's a blitzer, I want to get to them quicker. That's called a tell.

In poker. Right. He was reading your tells. If we line up all set, and if it's a run, I want to be a little further away just in case so the quarterback could catch a ball,

and if it's a fucked up snap, he'll have time to recover to be able to put it where you need to put it so I can get a proper hand off. So when he's telling me these things, I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, well, what the fuck? How do you beat that? And I mean, it took me some weeks,

and I'm like, damn, what the fuck? And then it just hit me like, oh shit. It's simple. Do the same thing every time, so they can't get a read on what the fuck you're doing. So now I find a happy medium between the two. Or what you could do is know that they are knowing that you're giving the tell to this way,

and then at the key moment in the game, do it, and they'll think you're doing that, and then do the opposite. Well, in the offense, you can't move. Like I said, don't do that. Don't do it that way. No, no, you have to get set. Otherwise, I know, but whatever the little tell was.

Oh, no, no, no. You could purposely out-fox them. But that's why you make everything look the exact same. now they're guessing. Right. So now on offense, I'm reacting. But you're reacting to me. But if I convince you that I'm going to go outside,

you've got to respond to that. And then when I hit that motherfucker downhill because you know you can't let me get outside of you, you're going to over-pursue every time. And then I'm coming right back down here. Did you, like, win most of your battles with Ray Lewis? Or what would you say, a draw? I don't remember the games?

No, I mean, I remember the games, and I mean... You do, yes. Hell, yeah. I know, but I don't remember every Seahawk Ravens game from 2008. Well, no, he told me this when I was in Buffalo. I was a young-ass motherfucker. You see, I was young to the game. So trying to process what this man giving me, it's like, you know,

he fucking levels in advance to where I'm at. I'm just trying to comprehend. He was one of the greatest. You fit. I mean, there was that unpleasantness in Atlanta. I don't know what happened that night. But, you know, people, who knows, it just was unpleasant. You live, you learn, and grow.

I'll tell you what did piss me off. Live learning and grow. There was a place kicker named Justin Turner, I think. You know this guy? Turner. And he was accused, I think. Don't quote me on this if I'm wrong. but I think this is the guy.

Place kicker was accused of inappropriate sexual advances by 10 different massage therapists. Now, I can accept that with a quarterback, but a place kicker. Bro, you're wild and like a motherfucker. Come on. Not a place kicker. You just can't.

You can't do that shit, Richard. Hold on, man. You're going to slow down on my individuals, man. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel about it. Why you feel that way? I do because please place-fickers and motherfuckers that have been doing all kind of shit that's going on. I always say you, oh, you're saying because he a kicker? Correct.

Oh, shit. Oh, you wild and dog. Oh, you random as fuck. You said his name wrong, too, though. No, I think it is Justin Turner. Yeah, we're going to leave it at Justin Turner, man, because. Was it allegedly? Absolutely allegedly.

And 10. I mean, any 10 people could like say the same thing just coincidentally. It's a completely alleged thing. But I'm saying, you know, they come together, but shit. I mean, like I was saying, in your field, yeah, that should be like something that come up every day. What are you saying about my field? I don't know, man, you motherfuckers might just be freaky or something. It might be.

Definitely. I mean, nobody gets to be 70 and never marries without being a little freaky. I mean, you know, I mean... And you like the strip clip, too? Well, I seem to be retired from that. Did you make the... At least tell them to stand up and make their booty clap?

No, I did not. That's a fucking talent, bro. You gotta see the booty clap. Okay. They could do it without moving their waist. Yes. And they can also light candles out of their pussy or something. mean I want to see that.

No, that might be out of the country. What happened? I said, that might be out of the country. Yes, you're right. That's Tijuana. That might be Hong Kong and Tijuana. It was Tijuana and a donkey was involved. And a donkey, the don't-y!

As an account. Hey, that's some wild shit. Okay. You've been, well, of course you've been down here. The donkey was an assistant. Okay, let's just leave it at that. That was some wild shit. But you don't go to the strip club?

Random. How do you think I know they make that? They make that booty clap. No, I mean like still? How old are you? I'm 39. 39. Oh, for fuck's sake.

Jesus Christ. You're not even 40? I'm trying to work. I'm working on getting there. Get out of your hair. I'm working on getting there. You're working on getting there. Yeah, that's why I tell you congratulations, man.

I'm working on getting there. You know what? I like being 70. Apart from like slight drawbacks, like you'll be dead a lot sooner, slight drawbacks like that. Oh man, you don't live hell of life. Well, again, let's not put that in the past tense. That's the whole point.

You live in hell of life. Exactly. Right. Let's not put the hella in the past. This is what we don't want. This is what we don't want at 70. Okay, we want to think we are in medius rest. We want to think we are in the middle of things.

All right. In the middle of what? Middle of my life. Come on, my boy. No, but like... So you're delusional? No, I'm not delusional. I just signed a new three-year deal.

I have three years deal. I can't die. I'm contracted. Okay? So, like, that's the middle of things. Oh, shit. Top of your game. Just lost another reward.

So, like, just like all my other... I don't worry about that. I'm not worried about it at all. In fact, I'm like, humble bragging about it. Oh, that's a flicks. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And, you know, again... The Golden Globes? Is that what you...

What you was up for? My comedy special, the last comedy special. Oh, okay. Yeah. What Ron Coogler got? What he got? He's sinners. Yeah, he's from my hometown, though. The guy who plays all the great music in that movie, I saw him play at a party, like a pre-globs party.

He played. Is that right? Yeah, unbelievable. So fantastic. They was playing some shit out of some music in there too. Yeah. They wouldn't let them white people in the house, though. Where is this?

In centers. They wouldn't let the white people in. Mm-mm. They wouldn't let their ass in the house. Yeah. He had to invite. It was the most respectful white people I ever saying. They waited for you to invite them in.

And if you didn't, they didn't come in. Ain't that crazy? Because usually they just kick the motherfucking dough in and just do whatever they want to do. I mean, what's crazy is that for so many centuries, the least important thing about a person, their color, has been so influential in history and the way people act and the way what people do. And it's just amazing how dumb humans are. You know, I was watching.

in this movie the other night, and it's very funny. It's about this high-powered woman who's captured by these two idiots who thinks she's an alien. They just, because they read the, because they're on the internet. What movie is this? It's called Bougonia. Borgonia?

Yeah, I ain't heard of it. Emily Stone, I'm sure she's your favorite. And it's just like, all we could think is like, like there's so many fucking crazy people who are running around like how does the world even just stay going like this it just seems like there's so many nut cases the indecency of the people that will say the game should keep on going when the motherfucker died in there really you're bringing back to that No, but I'm saying that that's how I, because I mean like, I don't, I don't wake up in the morning like, yeah, let me see how many days.

I mean, how many people I could fuck over and how much shit I could, you know what I mean? Like, damn, when I wake up, you know what I mean? And my mom, I'm like, damn. You feel me, though? I thank the Lord for another day. You feel what I'm saying? And I'm blessed to get up on my journey to, you know, because. I'm 40 and I'm like, all right, what a nigga gonna go do and try to conquer the day?

Like, you feel me? I don't been told so many times like, you can't do that. Goor, no, don't wear that. Why your hair like that? Why you wear your clothes like that? You know what I mean? Who told you that? Seriously, who?

Who in this day and age is telling you how to dress and what you? Jeff Tifford told me that. Who the fuck is that? That was my college coach. Okay, well, he's some sort of old-school dick who doesn't matter to anybody or you. He's for sure old-school. And what, he doesn't like you wearing your hair like that? No, he would question me about it.

In one you were playing for him? Yeah. Why? You know what? That's a good question. Did he think it was because you would be more effective on the field with shorter hair? Well, I mean, I don't know. But I know I was doing what I needed to do.

Did you wear your hair like that in the game? I can't change this shit. It's like this. What you say? I just put a dab or some natural juices and berries on this motherfucker and I go. No, you could have had any hairstyle. It was 20 years ago. Oh, you mean back then that I had, yeah, I had dri-in.

You could have had a fade. You know what? I had a nappy fro. You could have like the kitten play thing. You could have. I had a nappy fro when he was asking me this on my way to this. Yeah, I mean, but... What's the stuff?

Malcolm X was... talked about having to put in his hair. A perm? Like a... Like this hot wax. You said some hot wax? Like back in the day that they would put it... To straighten hair because...

Oh, yeah, a palm. You know, to appease... A palm of press. Yes. Yeah. Right. You know what I mean? Pirm.

No, I'm not... Just for me, kid. Get your shit right. Get your shit straight. I'm joking about it. No, no. I've learned one thing. Don't talk to black folks about hair.

It's like talking to Muslims. Don't touch our hair. It's like Muhammad with Muslims. Just don't go there. You could talk to me about my hair. Just don't put your hands in my shit. Why would I do that? You would be surprised at how many motherfuckers come up and be like,

oh, your hair is something. Like, motherfucker if you don't get your hands on my motherfucking hair. Yeah, but you don't mind it when it's a hot girl doing it, right? I mean, it depends. Okay, come on. If it's on some shit, like, not invited, then we start getting into some other situations. Really?

So if a beautiful girl came up to you uninvited invite. I'm going to be like, yeah, you see me right here, though, baby. And massage you like this. Nah, yeah, but yeah, don't come up just touching my motherfucking hair. Oh, I don't like to be touched by strangers either. Yeah, that's not a... No. No, hell on.

Back your shit up. Okay. Me on. When we rockin, but... It happens, though. Like, if I came on your slick back, like... That's what do you think I have a slick back? That's not a slick back?

I don't know. I don't know. What was that other thing you said? Or a pun? No, no, the thing about woodback or... Oh, backwoods. Backwood. That could be a good name for me, a fake name for when I need a fake ID on one of these screaming services.

No. Slickback fakewoods. That's right there. Slickback fake. I'm slick back fakewood. Slick back backwards. Oh, backward. Backwood.

Backwood. See, man, I don't know, man. You be trolling like a motherfucker. I am not trolling. Yeah, you can. You gotta watch you like a motherfucker. You got me wrong. I am just always,

people don't be accused me that always over the years, people who don't get it, that I'm, you know, he's just a, contrarian. He's not a contrarian. He's saying, I'm not being a contrarian with D'Marer Hamlin. I really believe that, and I really think I've got a great case for it that I made, I do, all your case is just emotional. Mine is. It is. Mine's logical. Mine's logical and more for

the people, you know. The people to what? The people, like the people who came to the stands, the people watching at home. Be it. Everybody, except for one guy who's, who's He's fine. He's fine. He's in the hospital. You said, who was? They fuck. I mean, it's just selfish. It's so selfish. Selfish on who behalf? To cancel that whole game.

So who was selfish? Because DeMarre didn't cancel the game. Exactly. So who did? And he wouldn't have wanted to. But who did? The fucking pussies. What pussy?

The pussies who run the NFL. The pussies who run the NFL. They usually fuck over. The bro. Whoever C.B. or Fox whoever was broadcasting the game. Yeah, exactly. These pussies who were afraid of letters saying,

oh, yeah, and instead of going, you know what, we respect and blah, blah, blah, damage control. And they could have said exactly what I said. They could have said, you know what, we're doing this for the fans who all year long wait for this game and it's an important game and we knew Demar was okay. So we played the game in honor of them and in honor of him, okay.

We're good. When you get in the situation and, a position like that and you don't know which way it's going to go. He's in the hospital. I'm talking about for the fan and you don't know how they're going to react. I mean, you know what?

I don't know. If we can find somewhere that could let us know the poll on that, do you believe from the fans? First of all, I don't go by polling, my friend. I'm saying for the, I don't understand. That's the whole Golden Globe shit and don't win and all the other shit. I'm following you, big dog.

And the thing is, I kind of agree with you on that shit too. And I made the joke about the whole thing. That was perfect, though. No, it's doing, because look, I'm going to fuck with you, my boy, I told you. I'm ready. That's hell of looking tight. I love the way that. But them are the same.

I love the way the Golden Globes got back into that. But that is so fun. Does not a touch you. No, no, it's not. It really isn't. That's why I'm laughing my ass off. It's so funny the way you said that you connected it. You're on a very profound level.

You're right. But look, okay, we won't argue about this anymore. But I can't believe. You really do feel that. way though. Damn. Plainly. And I'm right. Plainly. And it's okay that people feel the other way. If that was me on the field that had that situation. I'll just say one more thing. That they stopped the game and rescheduled it to give.

I'll just say one more thing, which is I do also remember watching the fans file out and the looks on their faces. And the looks on their face, I swear to God, was, okay, yeah, I guess we're the asshole if we object to this, but fuck. He's fine or he's going to be fine or he's not. That's what you're in? Do about it because he's in an ambulance or at the hospital and we're leaving this game that we planned our whole fucking year for? I think they would tell you that they face is what they would. say. Damn, I can't believe I put all of this, all of this thought process and break down playoffs and what this mean and all that over a human life for a game that can be rescheduled.

Again, well, it wasn't rescheduled. They didn't rescheduled? No, they couldn't. It was the dawn of, it was the, they were on the doorsteps of the playoffs. Yes. Now I got to go do my homework to see that guy. And even if it wasn't, fuck it. That's a game. That's okay. How many other games was played that day? I understand it wasn't in that city and in that stadium.

You know what friendship is? It's vehemently disagreeing about anything and still having the exact same affection for the person. So I got that free. Oh, yeah, it's a, yeah. You don't really believe that shit. It's a heart in there. I felt that.

fucking beating. You know what I mean? That was for good what it's called? Contact or whatever, though. I'm going to release you back into the wild. And I'm going to go out there to Jamundi right now, after I'm going to say Bondi, too. That is, I mean, that. Who's the lady in that? That is what the show's all about. That's what I'm trying to make my theme of my other show all about is like, people are just not going to agree, especially in this day and age,

about a lot of things. And you just have to have zero animosity, because they don't. Like, we don't agree on this, but we're still, like, good, right? Yeah, you called my phone and tell me you got another situation I'm gonna come. Now, the thing is, if I hit you and you don't come, now I'm like, all right, that's cool,

but I would expect you to. To come to your show? Yeah, of course. If you feel, me though, like that? Yeah, yeah, I get it. Because the thing is, like, you have a, especially for me to just sit down right here with you on this,

situation and like you said not see eye to eye or have a difference in some and we still be cool like motherfuckers need to see that and it ain't don't know how to because you're never you know what i mean that's every relationship try to try to like if you're in a marriage or a serious relationship try to like you know have to agree on everything with the person you're just not going to you have to learn those three little words, let it go. And just, yeah, okay, maybe someday we'll see eye to eye on it, maybe we won't, and it doesn't matter either way. You're saying you all about the Benjamin? No, it's not what I'm saying. L-I-G-Rig, Reggie. It's not what I'm saying. L-I-G-Regg, let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. That's all the world. All right. Well, I thank you.

No, I appreciate you, big dog. This was really fun. Yeah, say, I can't believe you about to be 70, though. I know. That's a, I can't believe you're not even 40. That really hurts. Club. I'm gonna take your weed out. Yeah. Yeah.