Club Random with Bill Maher - Max Amini | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

Bill Maher sits down with Iranian-American comedian Max Amini, a global comedy powerhouse who sells out shows around the world, for a conversation that swings from religion to revolution. Max opens up about growing up as an “American kid” in Iran, getting bullied at school, and quietly whispering that he was American while classmates chanted “Death to America.” The two trade faith stories: Bill admits he still gets sweaty palms walking into a church, while Max shares his father’s Sufi belief that “our religion is love.” They get into Max’s complicated relationship with Iran, the Shah’s legacy, and what life under the country’s religious regime has meant for generations of Iranians. And comedy is never far away, as Max shares his Jay Leno origin story and the best advice he ever received: “It’s never too late, but it always could be too early." Support our Advertisers: Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/RANDOM #rulapod #ad Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://billmaher.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Club Random Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clubrandom.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it.  For advertising opportunities please email: [e-mail] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, folks, if you're going to spend money on something and might as well be something you actually like, that's what I always say. That's where the club random merch store comes in. That's right, get yourself a cozy hoodie. Look at this. This is really well designed. That's right, get yourself a cozy hoodie to snuggle away your sorrows or some new club random shirts. Look at all this shit I have. To attract a partner with similar interests and live happily ever after. I've seen crazier rom-coms, so head over to clubrandom.com and bring home some random. I still get sweaty palms if I walk into a church. Which decade you became an atheist?

Ah, interesting. If they just took the good things and didn't bother with those crazy details. I've got to stop you there, man. All right. Max. Bill, how are you? You're hiding in the corner? there? Is that where they told you to go? Is that where they told you to go? We do the show over there. Okay. Nice to see you. How you doing? Very good. I'm very excited to sit down with you.

Me too. I'm always, I don't really ever see new comics. That's not true. I go to the comedy store once in a while. Like we're out to dinner and shit. It's like, what do you want to do? I'm not going to go a club anymore, a disco. You know, let's go get some less. Because if it's good, it's good. And if it's bad, it's 100%, it's still good. In a terrible way. You're watching pain. How uncomfortable do you feel when you go into comedy store? What do you mean comfortable?

I mean like, does the hundred people come up to you and, or do you get to really watch? Well, first of all, they always say you want to go up, which I'm very amused because I even stopped touring a year and a half ago. I don't really do that anymore. The only stand-up I really get is the monologue on my show. that's fine, but I miss it, but, no, I just like to watch it and, you know, I'm a good audience. Yeah. I love to laugh. You know, like I always say the jokes you write are the jokes you wish somebody told you.

That's true. You know? 100%. But a lot of comics watch comedy and don't laugh. So you actually enjoy it. You sit down and you laugh. You're right. There's that two kinds.

There's the one that's like just. You know, Leno, I love him to death, but he, you know, you get that little sly smile, you know, which is really more about, I just thought of a better joke for that. He gives you a little, but there's never, like Seinfeld and I, we laugh, you know. Lots of us do, but some don't. You're right. Some just like, it's like maybe it's too close to what you do for your living. Yeah. You know, it is to a degree.

I met Leno when I was really young. I met Leno when I was in college. I had just started stand-up comedy. And it was a really remarkable moment for me. This kid and I had a project, and he was neighbors with Jay. And he said to me, you know, for this project, we can interview Jay Leno. I said, how? He said, I'm his neighbor.

I'm going to put a note in his mailbox. and see what happens. Every time he sees me, he says, hey, Dave. I said, okay. So he puts the note and it works. He invites us to the Tonight Show. We go there. We're in the green room.

We're excited. He sits down, we interview him. I had the best interview. It was so fun. He was so generous. He was so generous with us. Two college kids. And at the end, I had this envelope with a VHS in there.

I'm a brand new comedian. I look at Jay, and I say, Jay, I want to give you my tape. and I'd love for you to give me some feedback. And he goes, what do you want? What kind of feedback do you want? I said, look, just some advice. You want to get on the tonight show?

I said, well, that would be a dream come true. I said, here's an advice, kiddo. It's never too late, but it always could be too early. It was the best advice I could have gotten at that age. Well, certainly one I violated many times. We all did. Of all the ones I certainly haven't followed. I mean, yeah, I mean, that's true, you know.

Yeah, every time I got projected. What's the fun of, you know, I don't want to be a goat among sheep, you know. I'd rather get in the trouble or, you know, have it be backlash or something because why play the game if you're not playing on the edge of? of it. But, you know, Jay, I always said, if only people could see him offstage, like, as great as he was on stage, and I'm his biggest fan, he was better. You know, just like so much more, the depth to this guy, you know, and he's just like endlessly funny personal stories. Wow.

Much of that, he left at the door, the Tonight Show. He didn't tell personal stories about him. Wow. The guests told the story, which wasn't as good. And that era was like that. That era, you didn't tell, no, now it's a lot of, nobody tells story. Now people tell a lot of personal stories. Now the more personal you are. Totally.

But back then, you didn't know anything about anybody. Right. No, if I had been like one of those comics, you know, that they're around today, if I was still doing my act, it'd be like, you know, I'm very traumatized by Todd Blanche becoming a tour. general and I'd go into how I was real funk about it but I just want to make the jokes you know yeah is so where would you put yourself as a comic on that spectrum of you know just the jokes versus I have to share my soul uh I have to share my soul you do yeah it's the only thing makes me feel valuable as an artist if I if I feel like I performed that night and I shared something special and I really made people think and the younger kids in there and the older parents,

they walked away with like, whoa, did this, you know, I talk about my parents' divorce. I talk about the conflicts in my family. Some of them are pretty, pretty... Why did your parents get divorced? Well, Persians. Persians are hot-headed and... Oh, please. Like they're the only people who get divorced? And Italian. And Italians. Wait, one is Persian, one is Italian? No, they're both Persians and Italians, extra passionate people.

And Irish and fucking everybody. I mean, you don't think the Vietnamese throw plates when they get pissed? They get pissed, but they divorce like this. Divorce, divorce? But for us, for us, it was a war. Well, in the Muslim world, you can divorce just, the man just has to say, I divorce thee, I divorce thee, I divorce thee, three times. Am I not right about it? I don't know the details.

I do. Why don't you? You do? I do. I know all about that. You see, as a Muslim, he said divorce three times a divorce? You can't tell me you never heard that. I swear, I'd never heard this.

So you were not raised. I mean, you were officially Muslim, but you're, okay, just be aware. I don't be aware. My opinion is it would be great to be aware that this is a luxury most Muslims in the world do not have, that you have, living here in America. You can, like, take it or leave it. I don't know if they know much about it. I mean, there's a lot of people of this religion who read one. book all their life. Yeah. You know, and your life is obviously much more varied.

Well, I'm very lucky. I grew up in a family that was very open, very loving towards everybody. It was not, we were not a typical, so a bit of a background. Yeah, we were, so I was born in Tucson. When I was seven years old, we moved to Iran, 788 years old. To Tehran. Yes, to Tehran. Makes a difference because it's a very upset at many times on my show. It's a very cosmopolitan capital. That's why one reason I thought it was worth trying to tip over that regime because this is not a, you know, this is not the same as Iraq. No. This is a pretty sophisticated population. It's certainly in the capital that want to be, and have been, have a history in the past, not recent, but the Shah, that era, of being, you know,

much more closer to a Western nation. Yes. With all the freedom, not all the, but, you know, just a more normal than, you know, wearing the veil and the religious police and all the bullshit that I'm sure you are overthrowing. There are such rebellious people. They're so cool. They're so cutting edge. You'll be surprised, and I'm not exaggerating.

You'll be surprised how many people will know about your show in Iran. Like those, I'm telling you. That's my I love Lucy. The coolest kids, the coolest kids, It's the coolest. They listen to the most hit music. Oh, they like me.

Yes, they listen to the most. Because if my show gets in the wrong hands over there, I mean like. No, no, no. Would you go to Iran? I can't. They'll kill me. I speak against the regime. So that's a hard no.

I'm afraid to go to the neighboring country, let alone. But see, when I say this, they, one reason the left, you know, the far left in this out, just hates me, is that I keep it real about this. I'd say this, but it's just exactly what you're saying. Do you know why? You're, because you can't, you can talk, you can talk shit about your own people. Exactly. Exactly.

But the truth is the truth. And this is the truth that, yes, you'd be killed. I mean, just think about that. And somebody's gonna be like, an ice killed, yeah, okay, ice shouldn't have killed those people, but it's not the same thing. It just isn't. Get over silliness. You know, it's just not a thing.

This is a state regime that is just totally okay with killing thousands of people in the street and has done it many times. Yes, Trump puts out a meme where he's pooping on them. Did you see the meme? You never saw that? No, the meme I didn't see. What? During No King's Day?

I didn't see that. What was the meme? Okay. Do you know what No Kings Day was? Yes, of course. Okay, so it was like, I don't know, six months ago or something. And all the, you know, this is such, they hate that I have dinner with them, but I couldn't accomplish anything.

No, we'll get in the street and dress up as like King, is because he's a king. So they all get in the street and nothing happens, of course. It's just a bunch of people already agree with each other and now we're agreeing with each other in the street.

Trump's just an asshole. Yeah, great. I'm glad this is what we're affirming that we all know for 10 years. Okay, so Trump, his response to that was, he got some AI meme video of him flying a fighter jet and dropping shit on the crowd.

I did not see that. That's hilarious. Now, how did that not get on your radar? How do you get your news? Social media. I'm heavily getting my news. So social media ignored that story? I can't follow.

I don't know how I didn't get it. I pretty much get everything on this topic. Everything. I'm pretty involved. No, Trump and Iran and the whole conflict. It's, you know. So what are you? So here's the cards on my table.

I thought the bombing of the nuclear reactors back in June was great. That one to take out the nuclear program. Of course, as always, then it becomes this cluster fuck where it's totally obliterated, and yet somehow we still have to go to war. Okay, it had to be one or the other. But, okay, I thought they fucked up the timing. They let the people get killed in the streets, and then they attacked. They should have done it as a support of the people in the streets while it was happening.

That's my bottom line take on this. But look where we are now. What do you think should, what would you, if you had your druthers, how would this be resolved right now? Well, when you start something, you better finish it. Well, that means ground troops? That means change the regime. But obviously we can't do that only through air power. We can't do that.

We're saying that today. But when those thousands of people died, on the streets, they came out because they trusted Trump. Iranians were really, really believing that this is their only chance that this is going to happen. And thousands came out on the street, knowing that they could die. I'm surprised I haven't heard anybody, or maybe somebody has made this comparison, but it's a little like the Bay of Pigs, which even I was too young for, and I was five, when Kennedy was first president, he inherited.

a program from the CIA to take over Cuba because Castro, a communist, and a Soviet ally, this is the height of the Cold War, was 90 miles from fucking Boca Raton. Not that I have to tell you about Boca Raton. But so in April of 1961, Kennedy was off his three months and the program, he didn't stop the program. It had been in the works. And it was a disaster. Like they got all these Cuban exiles to hit the beaches,

and Kennedy was supposed to provide air cover, and that somehow didn't come through or some shit like that. They were slaughtered on the beaches by Castro. It's very similar. Like America, I got to tell you, the world, just don't trust us. It really, it's like that the guy in Animal House is like, you fucked up, you trusted us.

You know, the number of people we've abandoned. I'm not saying we should have stayed there forever, but like the Vietnamese and the Afghans and the Kurds and everybody, like America, no lifeguard on duty, okay? You swim at your own risk because we will fucking abandon you. It's all about where they're getting their information from. If CIA is doing a deep dive and saying, look, here's the assessment. There's got to be an assessment.

there's got to be a very detailed information of like, this is what's happening, this is our chances, we're going to win. And they're going in there and everything turns the other way around. You can't wish a win into existence. Unless your information is proper, I feel like with Iran, they were very optimistic. And now the narrative is changing.

I don't know where were they, I mean, who knows, but behind the scenes, What surprise happened that now we're settling down? Max, your people are a crafty, determined people. You know, they're hard to defeat. It's like, you know, I think a lot of people have said this, that Trump was energized by how easy the takeover in Venezuela was. But, you know, it's like Don Carlyone said.

Taitagli was a pimp. This is Barzini. You know, this is Iran. They're not easy to defeat. Yes. And they're, I feel like they have the whip hand out because, like, how many times can you say, I'm going to wipe you out? I mean, he said, wipe you out, destroy your civilization, you know, decapitate.

He's found more ways than the 56 ways I have there on the wall of him calling me an asshole. He's almost that number of saying how he's going to wipe them off the face of the earth. And it's just not going to happen. I mean, if we, you say, finished the job, the only way to do that is to attack the country itself so much that you will turn the people against you. Then they'll be against us. I think they're still with us, although pissed off. But I'm wondering if there are things going on behind the scenes. 100%.

I'm going to tell you a few things. When you say my people, they're not my people for sure. Really? You're not Persian? No, no. Iranians all will say this. We are not our government. Those are not our people.

I said your people, not your government. Yeah, yeah, because the people that are fighting today against the U.S. and Israel are not the Iranians. They are this species that they have no sense of moral. They have no morals. I agree. They have, they, they're hard to understand.

Like, a regular human cannot understand someone who can murder their own family, let alone the people, for power, for sticking to their ideology. They're just something we cannot understand. And so, are they ruthless? Are they doing anything in everything? everything in their power to stay in that in their position?

Yes. Now, I would say as a civilian who's watching the news, not an expert, I just assumed when I saw those pagers in Lebanon, when I saw the exact locations that Israeli rockets hit those key people in the government of Iran, that's how we thought the regime change will happen. I think Trump made it very clear the war is not on the people of Iran. The war is with the government of Iran. So when he said, we're going to wipe you off the civilization, I don't think anybody was worried.

I think we knew that he's just using Trump language to scare people. I think some people were worried. I was worried. Okay, good. I mean, you're right. I mean, at the end, it's 90% chance that he's just spouting off. Yeah. He does it pretty often.

But it's still, for a president to say things, things like that is crazy. But does this subject weigh on you, like in your day-to-day life? If you're writing a new bit, an emo bit, of course, would this email about this get in there? Yeah, it really weighs on me in the sense that we are so connected. Even though I've been living most of my life in America, my

audience is really a very wide range of different backgrounds, the Persian audience makes 10% of my audience today. There was a time that I had a bigger Persian community in my shows, but my brand blew up. So now all of the Iranians still come to the show, but now they make 10% of a 20,000 seats. So what it nothing, I realize this now, the older I'm getting, your ethnicity and where you from is part of you and it's so, it's so, it's like involved in your day-to-day that you cannot get away with it and the more you try to get away with it

it will surprise you catch up like to pretend that that's not happening why would you it's the best thing in the world to be part of an ethic 100% especially in show business it's the white people they don't like anymore which is fine I'm not even complaining about it

but let's not pretend that that's not that you're not like much more about a casting list oh you know a 35 year old guy a person of color you had me at first And that's okay. Today, Bill.

Today, Bill. Right. Turn about his fair play. But I live in the present. It's great to acknowledge the past and we have to. And we also have to acknowledge the present. So, you know, no, I mean, write it, baby. That's not why you're a success.

You're a success because you're good. But it is a special thing. I've seen this with other comics over the ages. When you are like the first of an ethnic group, again, you probably don't know this name, Freddie Prins. Of course I do. Oh, you do? Yes.

Okay. I was 20 when he came on the Tonight Show. This is when I was like dreaming to be a comic. It was going to happen when I got out of college. And so I loved the Tonight Show and watched all the comics. And Freddie Prins came on and just, you know, wiped everybody out. It was the first Puerto Rican. His catchphrase was what his super used to say,

It's not my job. Yeah. Yeah. I still say it. I love it. He's my major, and I'm just, I'm not quoting. But Freddie Prince, he blew up and then fucking killed himself. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Well, a bad example. But yeah, there are... I know what you're saying, though. But I was saying, what you asked me is that, is this in my daily sort of routine? I don't bring so much of that topic into the comedy because I feel like my audience is such a broad audience. It's not my style. Like I like I talk about I'm a storyteller I talk about my life

I talk about my upbringing I talk about my family I talk about like I talk about moving back to Iran as an eight-year-old all-American kid and I talk about how It was a culture shock and going to school and and and you know all of a sudden as an American kid standing there the whole school starts chanting Death to America I'm standing going do they know I'm American? Are they trying to kill me? I go home I'm like mommy there's there's screaming death to America in school. At you? Yeah, no, well, they're chanting death to America. In Iran, every morning in school.

Right. Like, we're like seven, eight-year-old kids. It's like us saying the Pledge of Allegiance. Exactly. Death to America. Okay, cultures are different. You see, it's just cultural relatives. I've always been on the page with that.

That's the kind of stuff I talk about, because those were my crazy memories. Like, all of a sudden, realizing, yesterday I was singing jingle bell, jingle bell in school. Now I'm screaming death to America on this side. I was like, what's going on? And my mom, I remember, she was like, oh, I forgot to tell you. I'm like, you forgot to tell me this.

What do I do? And my mom said, just whisper, you're American. Don't say it. Just pretend you're saying it. I said, okay. You do a good mom. Yeah. No, really.

I mean, you got it down. So that's the kind of stories. talk about so listen to this this will blow your mind I just thought of this 1979 I am 23 very big year for mid-east politics the the it was they attacked the sacred mosque in Saudi Arabia that was a huge thing it was also the year of the Iranian Revolution well probably had a lot to do with why you wound up in America because Well, my family moved here before the revolution, way before for school.

My dad was sent to Germany, and then my mom was in London. Their families were friends. They met in Iran. They got married. Do they ever talk about 1979 to you? Of course, of course. It was a huge part of our life every day in every family's dialogue. But what I'm saying is they didn't move out of Iran because of the revolution.

and that's where my parents were tricked to go back. So they had left way before the revolution. They had seen Iran at its best. They graduated college. My grandfather's wish was for my father when he finishes his school, come back and give back to his own country. But my grandfather died two years before the revolution and he forgot to write down in his will.

Son, if there's a revolution, don't be stupid and come back to Iran. So we moved back. and that's when my father realized. You've been a big mistake. You jumped on a sinking ship, huh? Yep. Well, listen to this. I'm 23 years old.

I've just finished college. I'm following my college girlfriend to her summer job, which was teaching at this college, really high school, summer college, whatever, in Geneva, Switzerland. She was a linguistics major, and so she, brilliant at language. Yeah, just teach the kids.

who were from all over the world, but in 1979, most of them were from Muslim countries. There was a lot of oil money going around. Saudi kids, I had a little Adnan, I remember him. Starr, Starr, Starr. That's my impression of Adnan, loved him. And a lot of Iranian kids, and the revolution happened like at the end of when we were there.

And these, I remember these kids going apeshit, the Iranian kids, you know, rushing to the phone, And they were, I mean, this was like, because these are the kids who were probably part of the regime. These are the wealth. This is Geneva. This was a very expensive school. I fucking hated it. The Swiss, ooh, boy, warm people.

You ever known Swiss? I mean, they're peaceful, but, you know. They're better than everybody else. It's not exactly a party town. Yeah. Anyway. So you followed your girlfriend there? You love this girl so much.

You went to Geneva to go to school. Well, college, you know, when you're 22 and in love, you know. Thank God I didn't make permanent life decisions. Like many people do when they're 22 and in love. Hey, I was in love in high school. And if that girl who dumped me, because I'm sure I deserved it, if she had said, don't go to college, work at the A&P, I absolutely would have done it.

I was completely vulnerable to a moment. I was a emotional blackmail. I was dumped for the first time, which really is tough, because you have no experience with it yet. Yep. Have you ever, are you, what's your thing? Are you married? I'm single.

I think I'm the coming, ready to Persian. You're my role model. You're my role model. Why, because you want to never get married? I honestly have... By the way, since you didn't know about the I divorce, the I divorce, the divorcee,

do you know about temporary marriage? Yes, I know about that, of course. Okay. Could you explain that to me? that to me, temporary marriage. Tell me what that is. And your understanding. It's pimping at its best. You just say

three lines and she has to be like, oh, thank you very much. She thanks you for doing it the proper way. Well, it's cheating, but like you get this, I think they gave one to the current Ayatollah or he had one, or I don't know, but it just means

like a temporary, it's basically you get laid one night, but you didn't just get laid. I mean, can you Imagine coming home in this country. Honey, I'm sorry. It was just a temporary marriage. It's the Muslim version of Vegas. You still have to make a transaction.

You have to offer something, and then you have to, you know, read this, and then you temporarily are mine with disagreement. And the same thing happens, you know, in whatever state prostitution is legal. It's literally that. Yeah, I must say, you know, Some of these, it goes on in the world now, harems.

I mean, I hope I'm not talking out of school, but I think for sure, I've read, maybe it's just, you know, scuttle, but like the Saudis probably, the princes, we certainly know about the Sultan of Brunei inheriting, I'm not inheriting, inviting women from, definitely the states go there to party. People are fucking weird.

You can't be a king without a hero. What is wrong with people, Max? What are we going to do about this problem? People. Oh, my God. The problem that won't go away. Never ever. Never ever.

So you want to stay single forever? Is that what I hear you say? So far, I haven't been married. So the topic is, I really, I tell you, I'm in this state of mind where I've been thinking maybe magically I'm going to meet this person and this person has not come along so far. So I wonder, I don't know. My life is, I'm very happy. I'm not a, I'm not a type of person who wakes up depressed because I'm not in a relationship. Why wouldn't you be? You're still young. You're good looking. You know, you're famous. I mean, you know, the bitches must be all over you. Why? I mean, it's just, it's just unrealistic to not want that.

My saying is water flows downhill. At a certain point, that'll change. But like right now, this water is flowing downhill. You'd be crazy to try to stop. And it puts me, it's a lot of pressure when you're with somebody. It doesn't add anything but pressure. So I'm curious about... Well, we hope that it adds positive things as well.

It's not just pressure. But I hear you about the pressure usually. The pressure is here. What it adds on is not even a quarter of that. I'm living to tell the tale that you actually can. There are at least a few humans, I must assume, more than one, who absolutely no pressure and no fighting and none of that. But it took me a very long time.

It was just, you know, you're just, I don't know how you make that happen, certainly not on Instagram. It can't be with somebody who's controlling it. But generally, relationships, I agree, are, are, at least in my experience, way more the cause of stress and anxiety than career. Yes. Career I can...

Of course. Career I can control. Not totally, but we can... Career, you can say no. Or yes. And you're not ever fighting with yourself. You're sometimes debating with yourself about what the right thing is to do.

But, you know, it's not like your other self is going to go, you know, fuck you want to. you go fuck your whore you know I don't never say that to myself even though we have disputes so do you ever do you ever come like where where you stand with not having kids do you look back and you say you wish you had kids or you thank you Jesus is what I say and I of course I'm an atheist so but thank you Jesus because it's the one thing I never wanted when I was young and it never changed and it would have just fucked up my life now there are people who say

You don't know because it didn't happen. Absolutely true. You can't prove a negative. And they're right. I know just from looking from the outside, children are the most transformative thing for people. I've just seen too many people transformed by them, and I could probably put together a reel of people who sat in that chair

and said, and then when the baby came out, my whole life changed, it wasn't about me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. For every one of those, there's somebody who's like, yeah, the baby came and I would just go right on with my life the way I always did, and the baby suppers, you know. But I just knew I would be that other person who would just be like, oh, it's just not what interests me a baby. Really, anyone's stupid.

And babies and children are incredibly stupid. I mean, it's not their fault. Their brain is just, they don't know anything until you tell them. But it's just, that's boring to me, you know. Yeah. I want the conversation to start at a certain level. Well, I tell you, this is how I see it, Bill. They say when you have a kid, you know, you have a purpose,

and now you have this person that you're going to put all your effort in and bring somebody very valuable to this world and make the world a better place. If that's what it is, if that's one definition of the topic, I feel like I have thousands of kids in this world, and I'm making much more of a better impact with my comedy because I feel like having a family is going to really hold me back from what I'm doing. Bro.

You don't need to apologize for it. Right? Just live. All you have to say is it's fun. It looks more fun than marriage, and that's because it is. All married people do is bitch and complain about marriage and then ask, why aren't you married?

Because I listen to you. That's a great bid for me. You know, I don't know whether it's more fun. It just, you don't have to apologize for it. Just be it. And, you know, you may well, I didn't, but you may well come to a different, where life is a series of passages. You know, each decade you're kind of a different person. Yeah.

That's true. That's true. You know, you're in your 40s. Right? In my 40s, yeah. That's a, that's a, that's. I remember my 40s. It was a very distinct period.

Nothing like 70. I don't know what the whole decade's going to be like, but I really can only comment on 60s, but 60s, 50s, all very different. Very different. So, you know, you don't know whether that will continue. Maybe that will be part of a passage you go through. You don't seem to have had a midlife crisis, nor should you.

No, but I like what you're saying. Every decade we change. That's really profound. And if we do change, and that's, you know, then it's okay to admit to say, hey, that decade, I didn't see it, this decade, I see it this way. So I want to change my opinion and go right or left. Yeah, I can name for each decade of my life probably what, if I had to, gun to the head, central focus. Like central focus of zero to ten, stay with mommy. That seemed very important to me in that.

They came to get me for nursery school, and I wouldn't go. Like, I was supposed to go to nursery school. That's the one before kindergarten. Now they start them like, I don't know. They're one and they're fucking going off to something. But, no, this is like you're four. And I just wouldn't go. I just, no, I'm good here at home with Mommy.

You know, like, so that was like that. Then the next tape, decade, like 10 to 20, I would say central focus, don't be bullied. Don't get bullied. Don't be the one who's ostracized. There was just way too much of that in that era of my life. Not physical bullying so much, got beat up once. It wasn't that.

It was almost worse. You could be psychologically shunned by the, you know, boys are just horrible. Yep. You know, so every decade you, you know, it's- Which decade you became an atheist? Ah, interesting. It really wasn't until, like, I would say, mid-30s, because I was raised Catholic.

So, you know, that's just something they'd drill into you, like they drilled mercury into my teeth with just about as healthy for you. And so that was in my head. I still get sweaty palms if I walk into a church. You know, I mean, yeah, you know, I don't know if you went to the... I've been to church, I've been to synagogue. Mosque also back in Iran, obviously, not here.

Right. Yeah. But you don't do the five a day. My father was very anti-mosk. My dad was very spiritual. He was a Sufi. So he was... Sufi Muslim.

Yeah. He was really anti-extremist. mentalities and I asked my dad I was when I was a kid and I asked my dad I said dad what is our religion and he said our religion is love we love everybody that's our religion I said dad people asking me in school what's I don't know what to say I don't know they don't understand Sufi like and he didn't my dad liked the idea of saying we're a Sufi not a Muslim first because it would the the Islamic sort of what's portrayed as Islam is is is something that is

opposite of what everything my dad believed in. And so you said, our religion is love. Well, unfortunately, it's portrayed that way because it's followed that way by a lot of people. It is definitely followed that way. Because it benefits, that narrative benefits their ideology and it's almost like a business. But no one's making it up that Islam is a much more fundamentalist.

The people following the religion are more fundamentalist about it than Christians are. Christians were that way like 500 years ago. The Pope was the big swinging dick in the world. He could make anybody do anything. We're not there anymore. Now he's just a, you know, he's a figure head, a bobble head. People like him.

He's American, you know? You know the Pope we have now? Real name Bob, a stripper name Leo. I like to say. But, no, he was like, he could command you to do things in 1055. I mean, that's much more like an imam today

or something like that. So, you know, the reason you're here, I mean, the reason why you like it here is you don't want Sharia law. Right? 100%. Yeah. I like how you checked in. Right.

Right. No, we don't want Sharia law bill. Like, this comedian came in. I had no idea if he was apart with Sharia law or not. Yeah, it was all fun and games till the bomb went off. It was the other decade of my life. I was an atheist, and I changed to be a Muslim on this podcast.

I couldn't burn it. But no, so I was, when I got to be, well, I hated the church. from the beginning and catechism, which is where you went. It was like Catholic school to learn how to be a good Catholic, and I was very young, and then they were mean, and the nuns, the whole thing. So finally, my father pulled out of the church, thank you, Jesus, when I was like 13. And from that point on, like, I didn't have anything. I didn't have the Catholic Church, which, you know, I kind of believed, but I hated.

But I wasn't an atheist yet. You know, so I was kind of like wandering and didn't think about, spirituality or religion much, except, of course, when you're in trouble and then you bargain. Yeah, yeah, I totally agree. I think the last thing I did religious-wise was I bargained with God and it got me to quit smoking. It worked. Yeah, I think so.

I think that was partly in my mind that I made an imaginary. How did you bargain? You asked him to help you quit? No, I just said, if you. You let me win this battle with cigarettes. Then I won't, I don't know. I'll become an atheist. No.

It did have the opposite. He's like, okay, if I gave rid of you and all your bargains, I'm okay with that. You know, maybe I'm remembering this. It's 40 years ago, but I feel like there was something, I feel like that was my last hurrah with, but maybe I'm getting the timeline wrong. But, yeah, I went through a period where, there was nothing.

And, of course, when you're in a vulnerable state like that, you are susceptible to, you know, you will listen to astrology. Yes. You know, bringing the next pitch. Numerology. All right. I was very into numbers for a while. Really?

Well, I was a numbers runner. Me and Ortiz. Now, you know, you're, you're, it's kind of a great. place you're in because when you do all your I mean I've watched your shows for many years Bill oh great and and my favorite time of watching you was it was when you were on HBO because I'm on HBO now no when you left when you left ABC oh left ABC and in the the whole transition was really cool and then you you made a you want to me as an outsider it looked like you want to make a show ten times cooler than the

the other show. Exactly. It was. It was really fun. The discussions, the topics were a lot more. We've got to have you back. Well, thank you. That means a lot to me.

I appreciate that. And I got to say, before I forget, do you have any plugs? Because I know you don't need them, but like I've said this many times on this show, one thing I always respect is success, numbers, including people, I use the example of Taylor Swift, I don't know why, but kiss because she's the most successful, don't get the music, but totally respect the fuck out of the success.

Because this is a world of so much bullshit. Everything is spin. You can't spin numbers. Numbers are real. I like things like that, rogue. No, it's not your opinion. It's the numbers. And your numbers are big. I mean, you get a lot of, yeah, just that's, that's, they can't take that away from you. No, it's, it's amazing. It's so different than when I was starting, because you don't need, like, a network to hire you. You never had that problem. You were always hired.

Yeah, but I did. You always had an incredible. And also fired. And then hired immediately. Yes, that's true. Yeah. I mean, look, your career is so, your career is so, you're like a rock star in suit. You're like a bad, bad rockster.

You're like a bad boy that wears a suit and speaks so eloquently. That is exactly how I tell my picture. But you're really a rock star. And you come to your space and look at this. This is a man cave at its best. And now, like, when I came into this door and I saw your space, I'm like, this makes, sense. Well, thank you. Speaking of my great party house, are you drinking? Do we have a drink for you? Do you drink? The part of the Sharia law that I've been obeying. Well, I didn't want to say, but you know, hey, let's not

kid ourselves. Certain things Muslims generally don't like. Liquor, dogs. Not crazy about the gays. Women. I love dogs. You do love dogs. You do love. I have good gay friends. But isn't that a thing with Muslims and dogs? It's one of those things that were... I don't understand. They believe that the dog's saliva is, contains a lot of bacteria. So it's haram.

I'm in trouble again. No. I agree. I would never... Some people kiss their dogs. That's crazy. Yeah, but I love dogs. I grew up around dogs.

So it's animals. It's animals. We love, like my family, we love animals. The Bible is full of crazy, nutty shit from Jews about don't eat lobster with, you know, don't eat milk with meat or whatever. That's what ancient people did. That's right. They kind of got it that like, oh, maybe if we do, we seem to get sick every time we ate lobster with whatever, milk or whatever. So let's make a law.

Slavery? No, we never, they never made a law about slavery. Never, nobody ever said, don't do it. It just even occurred to them. But this thing of eating. If we all took everything in moderation, whether it was the Bible or the, for the Jews, Muslims, the Christians, if they just took the good things

and didn't bother with those very crazy details and the world would have been a lot more balanced. I gotta stop you there, man. You don't like any part of it. That's not really accurate. Because the Quran and the Bible are not like the same book just in a different language. They're just not. First of all, the Bible is two halves.

One is the Prince of Peace, whose message was very different than Muhammad, who was a warrior. Christianity is founded on being a martyr and suffering. Islam, their best century was their first. They came out of the desert and conquered the whole world, and they didn't do it by asking. It doesn't happen that far, that quickly, by asking. There's a reason why the Saudi Arabian flag is two swords. Okay, everybody was like that back then.

They were just very successful at it. But that influences what's in the book. The book is, the Bible is an anthology of so many different authors over different eras, and some of it is bat shit and some of it is poetry. and some of it is stories. You know, most of it happens like in the first five pages. God creates the world and Adam and Eve and the Noah and the flood. That all happens like before page three.

There's one part they say we believe in Jesus and we believe in Moses. You just take that part and you take everything. In the Koran. Yes, they believe. Just take that part and move on and get along. I mean, you know. Yeah, you can find some. That's a nice, I mean, I don't know how many nice ones there are like that.

And what they're saying is that Muhammad is the last prophet, but they do recognize the earlier profits. Just take the earlier profits and focus and get along. The point is, you know, there's so many, there's an angle in life. There are people in this world. You can look at something and look at it from a positive perspective. And other, same situation, another person will look at it, and all they will see is negative.

This country has a big problem, especially with the youth of only seeing negative. And a lot of it is because they just don't know what the fuck they're talking about. They think they have it worse than anybody, and they have it generally better than anybody. Yeah, I agree with you. I think, and again, the reason for that is the grasslooks greener from the other side when you're 24-7 on social media. Right. And 13-year-old kids today, they must have it hard. We never knew what the neighbor's shoes look like,

what they're having for dinner, where they're going on vacation. I at least had to wait to when I went to school to get bullied. But when it's on your phone? Yeah. And they unfollow each other, they write, I mean, all of these stuff is like. In my day, the bullies coming to the door all night. If every time I looked on my phone, there was something. And kids are just fucking cruel.

There's a great book that I think they just, just redid it as a movie, Lord of the Flies. It was just out on, I think, one of the streaming services. And it's about these kids, I think they're like 10 to 13 who get shipwrecked on an island and exactly what would happen. They act like the animals that humans are right below the surface. You know, they ostracized this one kid called Piggy because he's weak. But you know, you see this in nature.

You think nature is always so sweet because somebody sent you a video of a little squirrel and he's napping on a bear and they're cute. No, they kill other species. They kill their own species when they're weak. They'll peck you to death. That's right. Fuck you, you're weak. It's like they have no fucking professional courtesy.

No. In the animal world. So you and I both were bullied. Oh, you were bullied, right? Better, you watched so, because I was the American kid in Iran. You can't imagine how much. I was bullied until I was 12 years old in the most craziest ways. I was the American kid, and they hated me just because.

Did you have to sometimes pretend that you were more religious and... No, I never needed to. I mean, I guess at that age, you know, you're not that sophisticated to come in the next day and be like, voila, ha la, la, voila. And like, whoa, look, the American kid is, you know, no, it wasn't that. It's just the jealousy. And bullying is just, they look at you. And the bullies are usually kids that are coming from very troubled families,

and they're coming to school, and they want to reflect that pain on other people. And so, but just by default, I was a great target. I was a kid who didn't speak farcey so well when I first got there, and I was bullied a lot. And now I'm thinking, I'm listening to you. And I'm thinking, maybe that's why we're both. single and we don't want to be married because marriage looks like bullying. You wake up in the morning and she bullies you. My last special, I remember the one before that, I had a bit, which was exactly when people

say, happy life, happy wife. It sounds so sweet. It's actually a threat, isn't it? It's an elder happy life. Hey, it's a nice life you got there. Shame if anything would have happened to it. That's right. You know?

But look, women, first of all, they don't even want to hear this discussion. It's because it's threatening because, you know, they can pretend what they want about how different we all are. Please, there's a reason the Bachelor is still on. Most women are same as they always were. They basically, you know, have a wild period in their early 20s, and then they're looking for a husband. Not because they're gold diggers or whatever. It's just natural to... pair off. They like that security and they like, and who can blame them? And there are

wonderful things about, have you been in serious relationships? I have. I had like, what's the longest one you ever had? The longest, three and a half years. What a pussy. No, okay. That's it. You? About this. Okay, we match on the relationship length too. Okay, been bullied longest three and a half years. You know, it's like, it's, yeah, It's just, I feel like in another era, it was easier. You lived on the prairie. You never even saw another person. It wasn't that hard to stay married.

But we live in like this constant, hyper intense bombardment of stimuli all the time. That's true. Including sexual. It's just, it's like, it's asking our brain to do something that's very hard to, I think, pull off. Especially for us. We're comedians. Show business. It's extra company.

I mean, if we were, I was going to say magicians. If we were musicians, if we were musicians, we'd never get late. No, actually, magicians get laid a lot. Is that right? That's how fucking dumb women are. They fall for that stupid shit. Of course, I'm kidding. Disclaimer, all jokes on Club Random are jokes.

On tequila. They used to run a thing at the bottom of politically incorrect. The opinions of Mr. Moore are Mr. Moore's opinions. That was all the explanation. It's like, you know, it's what it is. I'm sorry that you were too young to have been on that show. That would have been great to be unpolitically incorrect. I watched it.

I watched it. I watched it. I watched it. I watched it. I watched it. And Mrs. Brady. It was such a. purposely stupidly cast show.

I mean, that was the fun of it. But the show had a really great formula. Every episode, you know, you had this great formula where a lot of people were challenged. I remember Ben Affleck on your show. You challenged him pretty hard a couple of times, especially on this topic of Islam and Christianity. That's why he hasn't done the show since.

Yeah, I remember there was a clip that he got mad at you for your Muslim views. Me and Sam Harris, yes. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, I mean, I love him, but, you know, we just are going to disagree on that one for the, I don't know. You know, if I talk to him privately or it's been, you know, 12 years, maybe, I think there's a middle ground.

I think he even communicated with Sam Harris after that, and they, I think, we got exaggerated and it got, for some reason it just it got emotional and that's what people love more people mention that episode to me than anything and it wasn't the best episode we ever had

but it got emotional with a movie star that's America yep you should bring him back to the show and have me ask him every year and have me I bought this house from him I'll be the middle person as the expert in Sharia law

and we start with divorce, divorce, divorce. I learned that now. Temporary marriage. Temporary marriage. And also, like, Sharia. He would love the temporary marriage. I mean... He should, he would absolutely love it.

Look, look, it was saving a lot of headache. That's perfect. The way that came around to that. That's hysterical. You're right. If anybody could use the temporary marriage, just for J-Lo. But, no, I mean,

Sharia law, people hear it. I don't know if they, some people are hearing that term for the first time. Some people hear it and, well, yeah, vaguely, I guess that's just like their catechism. No, Sharia law is a, it varies from different countries, but there's about 60 Muslim majority countries. I mean, you know, they got very mad here for a minute about eating at the polo lounge because it's owned by the Sultan of Brunei. And they have a form of Sharia law there, you know, which includes like, It is illegal to be homosexual, not just like, oh, you know, we're giving you the stink guy. Like, you know, in some countries, I think, you know, it's like you can be put to death for it.

Iran. Iran, yeah. Iran, you're allowed to be a trans. Correct. And that's why they have a big trans business. Exactly. People will cut their dick off so they don't get prosecuted for being gay. Yep. It's really, that part is extremely sane. They can't be gay, but they can be trans. In a way, they're more advanced on this topic in comparison to so many other places. But yeah, no, that's definitely one of the countries.

Yes, I mean, there's a cruise ship. I don't know if you saw this story, a gay cruise ship. I think it's called The Scarlet Letter. Anyway, it was floating around the Mediterranean. I know it was a big deal because the entertainment on board was Patty Lupone. Do you know who that is? No. Big Broadway star. Okay. Not that big in movies or television, but like Broadway people, no.

She's been in many shows and she's a big Broadway star. And so for like 1,100 gay men on a ship, Patty LuPone is like you and me, you know, having, you know, I don't know, the Rolling Stones. It's just, it's a legacy act, but it's a big one. So this was a big thing, and it got turned away, the cruise ship, in Egypt and Turkey. Oh, they didn't let the ship go on the water. They didn't let them dock because it's just against Islamic. This is what I'm talking.

This is Sharia law. They were afraid of liking it too much. They thought, well, no, they just. They thought they're going to go on that. the gay guys will go out on the streets and everybody will fall in love with that. Well, I mean, again, I don't want to tell tales out of school, but I've heard that there is a lot more homosexuality

that goes on behind closed doors. Any time where you shroud the women and where you really can't date the way we do in the West with women, you know. 100%. Men are going to gravitate toward... 100%. Anything.

Anything. A hole in the wall. In this case, you know, all boy schools, they have more, you know, gay experiences than when the schools are mixed. So you're absolutely right. There's a Rolling Stone reporter. I'm remembering this, so correct me if I don't get all the details. But it was soon after 9-11, and he went to investigate, I think, in the way. Pakistan, a madrasa. And I believe his reporting was that he was hit on a lot. Wow.

They were just extra-friendly. Because, you know, another thing is really interesting. When you go to those regions, the guys that are not gay, the culturally, they're so physically comfortable with each other. They hold hands. They put their arms around each other. I remember this, the Saudi kids in, in, and, in, in, and, you know, they're in, in, when I was in Switzerland, absolutely.

We would take them, there was like a day we would go shopping in Geneva. That was like an activity. And they would come with like suitcases full of $100 bills. I mean, it was funny. They would buy a shirt, a $1,000 shirt, and throw it away after wearing it one time.

I mean, these kids had new money and they just did not know what to do with it. But I remember that specifically. Like one day we'd go to the park or some shit and they would hold hands, boys, and also a boy would be sitting in the, on, you know, a blanket in the park and the other boy would have his head in his lap.

Yeah. You know, just like you would on a date with a girl. And you would look at it as an American, you go, my God, they're definitely gay. Right. And they're like, oh, no. No, exactly. No, I know.

I remember when I once, I said, one said to Adon, Nasser, is he your brother or your cousin? And he went, yes. You know, his father probably had 40 wives or, you know, I mean, bin Laden. was the 20th of 55 children. Wow.

Always the middle ones that give you trouble. 20th of 55? Yes, father had 55 children. He never pulled out. That poor woman. Wow. No, not from a woman, of course. Wow.

Yeah, so I'm not judging that part of it. I mean, as long as it doesn't tip over into it, intolerance. But, you know, yes, that's where the gay issue, the woman issue, free speech issue, blasphemy laws, all things that can get you killed, and sometimes things that are just personal, like adultery, larceny, cutting off hand sometimes. I think some of this is changing. It's always going to be slow. I think the leader of Saudi Arabia, okay, he cuts off a reporter's head every once in a while. And that's wrong. I don't care who knows it.

I think that's wrong. But he has done a lot for Saudi Arabia. He really has. He's changing the country. He's finally a change agent. And look, that change that he's making is not just for Saudi Arabia. It's going to affect the whole region in a very beautiful, positive way. Yes.

And what I like about him in Hawaii, I think he's smart, is because he's young enough to get how fast can I move this change? Because if you do it too fast, they'll revolt against it. The conservatives will not have it. But I think even they know that that era, I know they relaxed things like women can drive, which I'm sure was a relief to a lot of Muslim men. Guys, you know what, this could be good for us.

It's such a pain in the ass to have to drag her ass everywhere. She wants to get her nails done. I got to take it to the mall because she can't. drive and she needs a male guardian. Just let them. You know, I think we're at that moment, and I think he gets a lot of credit. I think he's very up to par with the technology, because he's like, look, pretty soon the car is going to drive themselves. So let them have a lot of fun in between. We'll be all safe. Exactly. We were going to go right from women can't drive to nobody driver, so you're not missing anything. Exactly. No, but I really am, I'm happy about what's

happening with Saudi. I think this king has a vision. He's clear on his vision, and he's going to make the region healthier, more balanced. Yeah. I think I'm all for it. And I don't know, obviously you know about the whole controversy that happened with the comedians who played Saudi Arabia

Comedy Festival. I thought it was great. I thought the same thing. I thought it was absolutely, and by the way, I've talked to definitely, Jeff Ross, somebody else who was over there. And they loved it. They loved it. Of course.

And it was... Well, the hospitality of the Middle East when it comes to UAE and Saudi, Bahrain, they really do a phenomenal job entertaining their guest. You go there as a comedian. They take care of you. The shows are amazing. the people there are so receptive to comedy.

It's so exciting. Would you do that show? 100% I would do that show. Because a Persian in Saudi Arabia, I don't know if people know, but these are the traditional enemies in the Middle East. True. That is, I don't think folks often know

that's the dynamic that these two superpowers, Persians, Iranians, who are Shia Muslims and not Arabs. And Saudis and most of the rest of the Arab world, who are Sunnis and facing each other right across the Strait of Hermodes. And that's really what the game is all about. You can get these two factions to actually liken work together. But, you know, I know from studying religions as much as I tried to,

they hate what they would call apostates. In other words, the branch of the religion that still is our religion, but isn't the one we follow? More than they hate the infidel. Like who did ISIS kill first? Like the wrong type of Muslims? 100%. They were designed for that first. Then they became this, the ideology took themselves to the West.

But frankly, I tell you this, for me, it's very different. Saudis love me. UAE loves one of my biggest draws, you know, crowds that I have, it's in UAE. Because, you know, my mind. You play there. It's one of my biggest most incredible markets. Right, because lots of Iranians. No, lots of everybody.

Everybody, but also, and Bahrain? Bahrain, huge. I mean, 10 years, 15 years, I've been playing these regions. They love me because I'm Iranian-American and I'm really just max. I'm not the necessary they're not coming to see and they speak English? Fantastic English.

They speak great English. And you never said anything got in trouble in any show? No, because that's not and I go back to this family dynamic that I was telling you. I grew up differently and I give you a couple of

examples and it gives you a nice picture. I grew up with this family that they were very different. We were not the typical first of all, Most Iranians are not really religious in that sense. Most Iranians are not... Well, most Iranians here.

No, no. Historically... Many in Iran are religious. No. I tell you, historically, Iranians... The difference between Iranians and Arabs is that Arabs, religion is their culture. Iranians, their culture is the Persian sort of traditions. So we are not, our culture is not our religion.

But Ayatollah Khomeini did have a sizable fan club. Ayatollah Khomeini, he was not even Iranian. He was Indian background. He was a Muslim. Whatever he was, when he died, I seemed to remember them losing their shit on his coffin. Like, ah, Kobani! Somebody was very upset when he died. Come on, it's a mixture.

I said majority. Yeah, I think we're talking about, I believe. Again, in the capital, I think it's different than in the sticks. No, I think everywhere we're talking about 70-30. And that's what the statistics coming from Iran now. Good. 30% are the religious supporting sort of government population. I'm with you.

You know who else the Iranian's life? Me. Yeah, of course. I mean, not like you, but like, trust me, if I walk around Westwood, they really appreciate 100% I heard it a million times like 100%

I came to this country so I don't have to wear something on my head and thank you for expressing that Yes of course I hear that all the time Because historically they never had to If you know historically The Persian culture

Has always been very open If the grandma was more conservative And she wanted to wear the hijab Everybody respected her And if the daughter was wearing a mini skirt and going out with her boyfriend, everybody was okay with it. The last 47 years,

there is a whole different ideology inserted into this culture, and we believe it's designed by the West. They came and took Khomeini, and they put them in Iran, and they said, this is what's going to hold back the growth of this civilization.

Do you think the West put Khomeini in power? Yes, Carter. Put Khomeini in power? Yes. No. We believe that when Carter was the president, 1979, with the help of France and Germany, they overthrown the Shah of Iran and they put Khomeini in Iran. Why would they want Khomeini more than the Shah? The Shah was our guy. The Shah became too threatening. He raised the price of oil and he wasn't listening. And he got sick.

Well, he got sick. soon after I mean he went when he chased a cure around the world he wound up in Panama at one point What do you think of this son? He's incredible I like him I like him you think it would be good if he if he took over He doesn't want to take over but that's why I like him oh I'm sure he talked into it I'm not sure he doesn't want him No, his agenda. He's he said I I I know he he doesn't want an interim leader Exactly exactly he just wants to help create democracy I think just like it's just like every Iranian, he just wants to see this country go back to this free, true democracy that it was.

Yes. And I don't think... Well, it was a democracy with a savage secret police. You're talking about Mossad. No, I'm sorry, you're talking about... Savak, yeah. Yeah. Savak is what it was called. Savak. That was the Shah's secret police.

I mean, it was a dictatorship to a degree. True. True. True. I mean... True. But I say this. No government... is perfect. The world is exactly always about the least bad choice. Not

the great choice, the least bad. That's what I think mature people understand. It's so easy to be a purist. The least bad choice is what, if we're going to get real, is the best choice to make. No, I hunt. You said it best.

How, you know, and Savak, as bad as it was, it didn't come out there and kill 50,000. thousand people mass murder their own people. Shah of Iran, when the people, you know, did an uprising back then, he got up and left the country. He left the country. Well, because he had no choice because they were going to kill him. Well, he could, he could do what this government did. He could take out the machine guns and murder, you know, thousands and thousands of people and stay in power.

That's how these people are in power. Yeah. I mean, the uprising in Iran was millions. Maybe. I feel like it had gotten past that point with the Shah. Sometimes they just know when the jig is up, when it's turned, and even your people who are your loyal people, they don't want to fire into the crowd. They were with you for a long time, but no, we're not going to fire into the crowd. That's the turning point. Unfortunately, that has not happened with the Revolutionary Guard because those are the most, you know, dedicated balls to the wall, motherfuckers that they have. And they are going to be hard to, anyway.

They're murderers. There's a huge difference. I feel like the Shah of Iran really, really cared for his people, for his country. He tried to keep control when he realized the people who don't want me, he got up and left. This regime will never leave. All right, I've got to get up and leave. I really appreciate you talking about this subject with me. I didn't know if that was something you were like,

oh, I don't want people to know what I think because they don't know, but you were no pussy about it. You just told me exactly what you're. I really appreciate it. Bill, you're the man. Because you'll get some shit, but fuck them. But you talk about these a lot in your shows. Yeah, yeah.

I feel good sort of like giving you my perspective. No, no, I appreciate it. It's awesome. People will love it. Thank you. That's really great meeting you. Thank you, buddy. Let's do it again at some point.

I have so much fun. Thank you so much. All right. This was good times. Well, I used to throw parties here. Well, I'm single. I was going to say, I'm always looking for millennial friends because, like, too many of my friends, my age, they don't want to, like, party too hard. I don't want to party too hard. I'm a little fucked up now.

I didn't smoke one bit. No, let me know when the next party. Because I hate it. Club ando Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair Ever order furniture online and wonder What If? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old.

You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home.