Club Random with Bill Maher - Rick Springfield | Club Random
Episode Date: August 4, 2025In this episode of Club Random, Grammy-winning rock star Rick Springfield gets raw about fame, depression, and why getting older might be the best gig yet. He and Bill swap stories about tripping on p...sychedelics, battling bad music critics, discovering Beatles lyrics by hand, and wild run-ins with Elvis and The Bee Gees. They riff on everything from concert bathroom line etiquette to AI sex – all while passionately debating the eternal question: Lennon or McCartney? It’s rock star therapy with a twist… and let’s just say, Jessie’s girl really missed out. Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: https://billmaher.substack.com Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: https://bit.ly/ClubRandom Support our Advertisers: It’s summer, and it's time to heat up your strategy before your competitors beat you to it. Go to https://www.RadioActiveMedia.com or text RANDOM to 511-511. Message and Data Rates May Apply. Get 10% off your first order at https://www.zippixtoothpicks.com by using the code Random at checkout. To get 6 bottles of wine for $39.99, head to https://www.NakedWines.com/RANDOM and use code RANDOM for both the code and password Buy Club Random Merch: https://clubrandom.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it. For advertising opportunities please email: PodcastPartnerships@Studio71us.com ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hi, I'm Heather McDonald, gossip enthusiast, podcast queen, and longtime loyalist to Amazon
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My best friend, Doug Davidson.
And bold and beautiful.
Yeah.
Were you on that?
Yeah.
Because you're very bold and you're very beautiful.
Club.
Rando.
That's right, Rick.
I grow my own.
I grow my own and I smoke my own.
Because that's what real men do.
That's what real men do.
And let me tell you something.
Hey, Rick!
Hey!
Does that really play?
Yeah! How are you?
Nice to meet you.
It's not in tune though, could it?
I just tuned it.
You just tuned it?
Oh wow. It's not in tune though, couldn't be. I just tuned it. Oh, you just tuned it?
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who do I try to figure out who to signify?
I've had so many musicians, you're the first one
who I think picked that up and thought to play it.
Yeah.
I guess when you see a guitar, it's like, you know,
you can't have.
You gotta pick it up.
You gotta, like women.
Yeah, I know.
You never ready? I was intrigued by the doll over there, You know, you can't. You gotta pick it up. You gotta. Like women. Yeah, I know.
I was intrigued by the doll over there.
That's wild.
That's from my friend.
I had to check the vagina.
I'm sorry.
Everybody, you think you're the first person to check that vagina?
Probably not.
If I had a list of people who checked that vagina.
Mostly women.
But that's from my friend Whitney Cummings.
You know Whitney, the comic.
Yeah.
Oh, she's the best.
And she, that doll is worth $175,000.
Yeah, that's what he was saying.
And she gave it to me.
She did a whole special about it.
So why did she have it made?
Well, she did a whole special.
They made the Whitney robot doll.
She had a lot of material about that idea of, and I think it's, first of all
she's a brilliant comic and it's a brilliant special, but it's also so in the news with
AI and everything, and you know, we are moving very soon to a time when we will be fucking
the robots.
Yes.
What? The? I...
No doubt, right?
The, the, the industry that makes the most money
out of a new, any new technology is a porn industry.
Yes, everything, everything immediately goes to porn.
Goes to porn.
I remember, we're old enough to remember
when the internet came about.
Yeah.
And it was gonna be this this super high way of knowledge.
You had knowledge of my balls.
I opened up my son's computer when he was 14.
And there was a little square video.
And I clicked on it.
And there was this girl getting fucked in the ass,
like right here.
And I hadn't seen that.
I was like 30 till I saw something like that.
And my boy was like 14.
You were 30 before you saw something like that?
Yeah, yeah.
I grew up in Australia.
But not in real life.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I saw people getting fucked in the ass in my room.
It was not on the computer.
Hardcore porn.
You saw it for real.
Yeah.
This is my rum I have with Sammy Hager, Beach Bar Rum.
Oh, Sammy was here. You're in business with him?
Yeah.
Oh, cool.
We have the Beach Bar Rum together.
How did that come about? You and Sammy would join forces.
Well, I recorded his song,
I've Done Everything For You,
back in the early 80s.
It was the first big hit he'd really ever had like that.
Right.
And he was kind of pissed off because he had the single and he didn't do anything and then
I had the single and it was a hit.
So he was very mixed about it.
We've really been friends.
He helped me get on the road.
He was awesome.
Why do you think yours hit and his didn't?
Because I'm cuter.
Well, we know that. That's really, you think, the whole thing?
No. Honestly...
It could be.
No. I hope not. Jesus, my career is built on me. I'm fucked.
Well, it matters. But you're right. It's a record you're listening to. It's in the grove. Well, it followed Jesse's Girl, which was a really huge record.
So the door was already kind of, they're already looking in my direction kind of thing.
That makes me think of the song I've heard it through the Gravevine because Gladys Knight
put it out and had a mild hit.
And then Marvin Gaye put it out next year
and had a massive number one smash.
Yeah, I don't know.
That's what makes a hit record, really.
If we knew, we'd write 1,000.
I was down in Boca last week talking to Billy Joel
about everything musical.
But certainly certainly this subject
came up and someone who, as he, who is so much better than what the critics gave him
credit for, and I was just saying, the stupidest thing I think in the world is a music review,
because you can't describe to someone whether they're going to like a song or not. And I have, I was so, I bought for a couple of years, I bought the top ten LA, you know,
the whoever the guy was, these are my top ten records.
And they were horrible, they were horrible.
It is the surest way to have a shitty record collection because record reviewers, they
don't first of all, they want to be cool.
They want to be cool, They want to be cool.
They want to tell you what's important.
I don't give a shit what's important in music.
I care what's good.
What turns me on.
Right.
What I like to hear.
And they gave me a lot of shit about myself.
I mean, I was, they were merciless.
One record I had out, I got an LA guy reviewed it, he said, he listed
the songs and what they're about, and he goes, guilt, nothing, nothing, guilt, nothing, nothing,
nothing, nothing. And it was like stuff like, you know, I was really frustrating.
The Hollywood Bowl.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the ultimate.
Well, he's dead.
He's dead, and you're selling out the Hollywood Bowl bomb. Well you know what they always said about critics.
They're like eunuchs in a harem.
They're surrounded by it.
They just can't do it.
They can't do a fucking thing.
They can't do it.
So here's to fuck them.
I've had the same thing in my career comedy wise.
They just don't, I mean, it's just not a job
you would gravitate toward.
I mean, look, there have been a few and far between
good critics who were constructive and said things
that registered and even certain artists have said,
yeah, I read that and I think that was right.
But in general, they're just bitchy assholes.
They're pissed off that they didn't get to do it.
And there's no, you know how sometimes they get the job?
They're just on the paper doing something else.
There's no effort to like find a credential.
It's like, oh, this guy used to write the restaurant review.
Have him go see a play. No, really then they do that
Unapologetically and that's awful. Okay. Everybody's got an hour. So I'd known that and I mean I thought these were guys
you know that like was seriously in the music and
Fucking anyway, I want to show you this. I hear you're a Beatle fan. Yeah, this is a copy
But I have the biggest personal handwritten lyrics Beatle collection.
Oh, wow.
That's If I Fell and John's Hand.
Oh, If I Fell, wow.
Written on an anniversary card to Paul. You can turn it over to the anniversary card.
And on the way to their first show at the Ed Sullivan, the
Edder on the plane.
Sending a happy Valentine with wishes found and true from one whose heart will always
hold such lovely thoughts of you.
Yeah, they didn't write that.
But why is John sending Paul a Valentine with hearts?
Not from John, I think it says Jay.
I think it's from Jay, maybe from Jay Nash or maybe he probably said, has anyone got any paper or want to finish the song?
Cool. Oh, wow. This is an awesome artifact.
Yeah, and it's pretty much as I read these lyrics, how it was recorded.
Yeah, there's a couple of, I mean, I have some first drafts that are pretty amazing.
That's awesome.
Yeah, you can have that if you want. I know you have stuff. Really? I's a couple of, I mean I have some first drafts that are pretty amazing. That's awesome. Yeah, you can have that if you want. I know you have stuff up
there. Really? Oh thank you, that's awesome. I need to put it on a window so you can see.
I don't know why I was thinking of making it double sided. Oh thank you very much, that's
great. I mean John, in the early years of, John was the... The primary driver.
Yes, and then it switched.
Yeah, which how amazing is that really, you know?
What?
Four guys from Liverpool, one carries this amazing band
and the other one picks it up.
But like, I still can't believe they were like a real band
almost, it was so staggering what they did.
Yeah, I mean, it wasn't like John wasn't doing doing anything but he definitely was not the mover after a while you're
right. He lost interest. He lost some interest and he's also I think
he's also had a problem with Paul having all the hits. That was always my
theory yeah that Paul got the A-side. I've been in bands and I understand that
jealousy. No I understand it's not even just jealousy.
It's like if you have a healthy competition
and you're writing great songs and still losing.
Yeah.
I said this to Billy, you know, if you write Revolution
and it doesn't get the A-side because the other guy wrote,
Hey Jude, and you write Strawberry Fields
and the other guy gets the A-side with Penny Lane,
you're like, I'm not winning this competition.
I don't seem to be able to.
I don't think that's the only reason
he got out of the band.
No, no, of course not.
But I think it was in there, and it's not really discussed.
But his peak was this.
This is from Hard Day's Night.
He wrote almost that whole album.
That was his.
Paul wrote Can't Buy Me Love on that album,
which was a big hit for them. But most of the rest of that, I feel like that whole album. That was his, Paul wrote Can't Buy Me Love on that album, which was a big hit for them.
But most of the rest of that, I feel like,
that was 1964, of course, their first movie,
and I feel like that was John's peak of interest.
Like, okay, we got to the top-or-most thing.
The top-or-most, yeah.
And this is it, and after that,
I mean, the next year you have help I need some
In trouble, you know it devolved very quickly Yeah, but I'm not that the music did the music kept coming even to the very end that he did lose he did
He changed
He took it
More personally and deeper than I think and darker than any of them.
Well, he also felt the need to or the compulsion to work out his personal problems after the
Beatles were as successful as they could be.
I don't think it was a conscious decision like, oh, okay, well now we're super successful,
I'm going to start on me.
But that's just how it went.
Yeah.
I mean, getting- You. Yeah. You have time.
You have time, and you also just have a psychic need.
I mean, getting together with Yoko, whatever that was.
But I mean, it was a lot, come on, about losing mom.
They both lost their mother, which was their original bond.
They both lost their mother.
I didn't know if she did.
I didn't know that side of it with her.
Oh yeah, you're talking about Paul and John. Yeah, that was the bond, right. Yeah, and they handled it very differently.
Yeah, yeah. And Paul was so and John was more, you know, deep looking in. Yeah, I think he, you know,
he wasn't a recluse at all, but he did, he just had to get to the bottom of him.
I mean, he and Yoko, first thing they did
when the Beatles broke up was they came out here
and did that Jack, Jack Law, no, what's his name?
Jan Law therapy, it was scream therapy.
Oh, screaming therapy, yeah.
I mean, there was a lot of screaming.
I mean, the therapy was screaming.
Yoko was always screaming.
I mean, maybe it has something to do with the fact
that when they were at their height,
everybody was screaming at them.
It was always screaming.
You ever see the video of John with Chuck Berry and Yoko?
And they're doing some song.
And John always says, I want Yoko to sing too.
So they're doing Bye Bye Johnny or something, right? And so she they probably they're running away and suddenly gives Yoko the nod
She sets up to the mic and it's on Chuck and she starts singing he goes
Just real brief like doesn't look over you school. I have a Chuck Berry did he just reacted to
Yoko, yeah, but as you say, you know, I've never been in a band,
but it is so obvious that the issues are,
and of course this is also what people in bands
have told me, two things, why they hate each other
and always break up and are always on the verge
of breaking up, you didn't like my song,
and you took that girl.
Oh man.
That's absolutely true. Yeah, I
Was in a band. How could it not be? No, I know I was in a band
And I got if a lot of them took girls from you
I don't imagine you run the losing end of that a lot. Oh, I
was occasionally when I was in a band and I found out after I left that one of the guys really thought I was
trying to take over the band and hated my songs.
And it was like, it really hurt.
Yeah, so what do you do when the band gets to that point?
I mean, we see Oasis is back out on tour.
Obviously, the Eagles famously had their Hell freezes over tour because they said they would
never work.
Hell could-
Look at the Who.
The Who.
Yes.
They've had fist fights and they're back on the road again, you know?
Eagles had a physical altercation on stage and so did just Dave Navarro.
Yeah.
With somebody.
I mean, when it gets to the point when you're fistfighting on stage.
That's pretty awful.
I mean, kind of like a marriage fighting in public.
It's like, we know what goes on, but we don't want to see it, you know?
Well, it's like being at the office and going over to the copier, which
we had clocking Bill from accounting.
This feud, this beef that was simmering around the break room
until you just fucking punched him,
that doesn't happen in real life.
No. I'm sure there was drugs involved and you know,
and you get to a certain point in fame where things
become unrealistic, what, you know, how you view things.
I mean, it's very hard to, I had a terrible experience
in 1985 when I kind of lot of my dreams had come true.
I remember walking around the pool in this beautiful house I had in Malibu, and I just had my first son born.
I'm going, I am more miserable than I've ever been in my life.
Really?
And it was, you know, from I thought this would fix me.
What was wrong with you?
Well, I thought I was depressed.
I just had a lot of really didn't like myself, really a lot of self doubt and a lot of self
loving and it's exactly right.
What was wrong with me? I know it was like what no I'm asking. What was yeah?
I was depression. I was I've had depression
depression since I was a kid just
From okay this in my view and of course, this is not like medical
But just I'm sure it's very well informed. Well, it's common. You are very well for its comment
Thank you. Common sense tells, and for my own life, there are two kinds of depression.
One is what I would call logical depression.
I've had this.
I've been depressed.
And when I was depressed, it's because my life sucked.
It was logical.
I should have been depressed.
I was a huge fucking loser.
Then there's the other kind of depression which really doesn't come from anything.
It's very often just a lack of a certain chemical in your brain. It's all what you're putting in the test tube. That's what you had? I had that and I had that.
I take, you know, I take some medication for it, but...
But it's not because your family was bad to you?
No, no.
I had a great upbringing.
It was nothing to do with that.
In Australia?
Yeah.
Well, my dad traveled a lot, and he was in the Army.
I never had a base.
Every time I'd meet a kid, he'd pick on me, and then I'd befriend him, and then two years
later I'd leave him.
And it was continually
that.
I never, I had to leave my dog one time when we moved to England.
And I'm...
Tough to leave a dog.
But the thing in 85 was that I thought I'd achieve what I'd wanted to achieve, but it
hadn't made me happy.
Well, I gotta say that puts a lot of responsibility on the baby.
Yeah.
This fucking baby obviously just laid there
and didn't do anything to fix your problems when you thought,
I have a baby, it's all gonna be great.
I think that kid has a lot to answer for.
Obviously, he was just laying around doing nothing.
Sucking out money.
Yeah.
You're like...
So what did you do about it?
Jump in the pool?
I thought about it.
I actually...
Really?
Yeah, I actually tried to hang myself when I was 16.
How'd that go?
Well, obviously it didn't work out.
I'm sorry.
No, I mean, I'm glad.
What am I saying?
I could have spared the world a couple of pop songs, you know, whatever.
No, we love those songs.
Yeah, I was really dark.
I was failing in school.
I really had a lot of self-loathing.
I don't know what quite.
Well, you're also failing at hanging yourself.
Couldn't even succeed in that.
I'm not going to lose her.
I'm kidding.
I'm just fucking with you. I didn't succeed in that one. I'm fucking a loser. I'm kidding. I'm just fucking with you.
I didn't succeed.
I know.
Another thing I failed at.
So let's go back to the baby.
The baby, the pool, you know, parenthetically, I will say,
when I was a kid, and we were, you know, both,
I'm almost 70, or this is a great show
for septic engineering and people,
kids, you should be listening to us more,
you know, older people have wisdom, duh.
Anyway, like there was no divorce in my town.
Like it's amazing how much things have changed.
You know, this has been the 60s and 70s.
I remember that not happening either.
Right, there were no drugs that I was aware, you know, it was leave in the 60s and 70s. I remember that not happening either. Right.
No drugs that I was aware.
You know, it was leave it to be for time.
Yeah.
But two of the men in the neighborhood
did kill themselves, one in the swimming pool.
Yeah, daddy's in the swimming pool.
It just shows, like, divorce unthinkable.
Just kill yourself.
On the cards.
And the one in the swimming pool,
everyone in the neighborhood was like,
we knew the wife, and it just made perfect sense.
It was like, I would be in the swimming pool too.
If I couldn't divorce this woman, I mean, she was just...
Holy shit. That's big. I mean, that's...
But you didn't try to kill yourself in the pool.
No.
Oh, oh, in 95.
You just looked at it.
No, no, I was just really dark.
And I pulled the plug on what I was doing
and started to go to Union Therapy
for like three or four years, you know?
Did that work?
It doesn't cure anything. I identify the demons, the demons, some of the demons kind of thing.
Self-loathing.
Why self-loathing from such a talented, handsome man?
It's weird.
You know that notoriety is great at first and all that,
and it's head, wow.
And eventually, you come back to who, you know,
what pushed you to be in the limelight in the first place?
Right?
I mean, it's not just, I mean, there's a big part of,
I think, I'm not enough,
and everybody that gets into the limelight.
I could be wrong, but I think I've always thought that.
Well, I don't know, the people who succeed, it wasn't I'm not enough.
It was almost I'm too much.
But I think there's a core of the need for validation.
Yes, there's a lot of, mommy, look at me now.
I'm doing it, mommy.
I did it for my mom.
When my mom died, I kind of had a moment of, ah, who's going to see this now?
It's also sometimes we just recognize in ourselves
that we do have a talent.
You had a big talent.
I have a friend who says, you know,
these kids are like, everything is, whoa is me.
No, how about, whoa is me?
Whoa.
Whoa is me. And I certainly wasn't like that. But I was very young when I thought,
yeah, I could be a comedian. I can do what those people on TV are doing. And I may even
do it better.
Well, I did see that and see, yeah, I can, I know I thought, yeah, I could do that. But I'm from Australia too.
So, there's a tall poppy syndrome over there
when I was growing up.
You get too big, off comes your head.
They pull you down.
Who is they?
The Aussies.
No, like all of them?
All of them.
No, it's just a general thing.
I mean, your friends, it's called the tall poppy syndrome, you know
Canada talks about something that I think is similar to what you're talking about
I have a Canadian friend who came here like many do and succeeded very well and he said yeah
I love Canada and I know we romanticize Canada, but they cut down the tall trees
I think it's the same thing you're talking about. Same thing.
And it's a British colony, very similar, still has British roots, never been a world power,
never...
But where does that come from that don't get too big?
In Australia, there's a great book called The Fatal Shore. I don't know if you've ever
read that. It's brilliant. It talks about mateship.
Who?
Mateship.
What's that?
It's...
Mateship?
Mateship.
Oh, like a mate. You're my mate.
Yeah, a mate.
Yeah.
How they're small...
Friendship.
There's no class in Australia, but there's lots of... Operon, you know, but there's lots of little classes
right and it came from
the way he explains it came from
The Irish and the English, you know hated each other and they founded Australia
So what a what a fucking nightmare that must have been the English were the cops the Irish with the
the farmers.
The Irish came to Australia too?
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
Well, they were also subjugated by England at that time.
Yes, absolutely.
So the British brought them to Australia just as like workers?
No, they came over or a lot of them were convicts that had come over and made good, you know, that you can earn your passage into
freedom, which in Australia in the 1700s, 1800s must have been wonderful.
Right.
It was a penal colony.
Yeah.
Hi, I'm Heather McDonald, comedian, podcast host, and connoisseur of celebrity drama.
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As you know, at this point, music, my Amazon music playlist shift with my mood faster than
a Hollywood headline.
Prime isn't just about getting things fast.
It's about feeling whatever I'm into.
It helps me go deeper, discover new obsessions, and make the most of every weird little interest
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So whether you're planning, procrastinating, or partying, whatever you're into, it's on Prime.
Visit Amazon.ca slash Prime to get more out of whatever you're into.
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Dude, it was horrible. There's places in Tasmania, which is the last island before Antarctica.
That's where the devil is from.
Tasmania? Exactly right.
Tasmanian Devil. He's a funnymania? Exactly right. Tasmanian Devil.
Funny devil.
What is a Tasmanian Devil?
I forget.
A Tasmanian Devil was a, they're all dead now, but it was a half tiger, half, it was
a marsupial, because all the marsupials in Australia.
And it had tiger stripes.
And it was a beautiful animal.
It was kind of like a dog with tiger stripes.
And they loved it so much, they killed them all to stuff them and put them in their houses.
We killed everything.
They killed all the Aborigines. They went through a line in Tasmania with guns and killed
all the Tasmanian Aboriginals.
All right. But outside of that unpleasantness, Tasmania.
It's a lovely place.
Tasmania.
It's a lovely, Errol Flynn is from Tasmania. How bad could it be?
Come on. Is that right? Errol Flynn place. Tasmania. It's a lovely place. Errol Flynn's from Tasmania. How bad could it be? Come on.
Is that right?
Errol Flynn is from Tasmania.
Wooden sword.
Yep, those swords were made of wood.
Everything comes around.
Talk about a guy who took advantage of his fame
and everything.
Was he gay?
No.
God, no.
He was very, very.
I mean, he might have switched back and forth. I don't know that for sure, but I know
he was up on like statutory rape charges and stuff all through, you know, and he would
make jokes with like having a big rubber dick hanging out of his shorts.
I mean, in his day, which his day was the 30s where his movies came out, you know, Captain
Blood and all that stuff.
I mean, I'm amazed how you hear that, yeah, these guys used to hook up. Right?
Hook up with each other?
Yeah.
Well, like Danny Kay, you know who that is?
Yeah, oh my God.
American comedian. I've read many times that he and Laurence Olivier.
Laurence?
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean... Okay. I had a friend who used to go over to Danny Kaye's house, he was a manager of mine at
the time, and he'd say Danny would make the meal and they'd all sit at a table and he'd
sit at the head of the table and not eat, just watch them eat like this.
And then suck their dicks?
I didn't get that far with it.
Because that would be, why? I don't understand. And then suck their dicks? I didn't get that far with it. Because that would be why.
I don't understand.
What do you get from doing that?
I just went, I don't know.
I thought it was weird that he'd make dinner and wouldn't eat.
He'd just sit and watch them all eat the food.
Maybe that happened later.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But anyway.
I didn't push it.
So you're in Tasmanian. Go back to that. What were you telling? Why did you bring?
Oh, why did I bring that up? Because when I was a kid, we went over there and we saw
the penal colony. It was the worst penal colony. It was cell cement blocks and it's so cold
there. It's so friggin' cold. Of course, no heating. And it was the worst place to go if you were a prisoner.
And the transports were very similar to the way they brought the slaves over from Africa
to America.
If you stole something, there was a thing called the bloody code in England.
If you stole something over a certain amount, you're dead.
They instantly execute you.
Other than that, they would store you in barges because the prisons were full. They'd store you on barges up and down the Thames, these leaky barges,
and then when they got full, they discovered Australia and they said, let's send them all
there.
Yeah, Britain basically outsourced their prison population to this place.
But that's why Australia is Australian, because of the prisoners. I have a spring, my family
in Springthorpe, we have a Springthorpe that was on the conv Australia because of the prisoners I have a spring my family and spring Thorpe
We have a spring Thorpe that was on the convict ship and set in the 1700
I think Georgia in our country was also a penal colony. Mm-hmm
Don't quote me, but I'm pretty sure I remember that so they were doing it here in North America. Yeah
No, I mean, you know, I didn't want to get on my high horse on this theme I'll get I love you on your heart. Okay, but like it just it's awesome
it always bugs me when the kids they just don't have any understanding of
Historical perspective and I've tried to tell them a million times. Look humans are not good people
They weren't good people then they're doing things now not as bad.
We've come a very long way.
But the bad things that they were doing,
they were doing everywhere.
All races did them.
It's a human thing.
It's not just that some people were the colonizers
and some people were colonized and everyone,
oh, it was just the innocent and the guilt.
It's just not that simple.
Everybody. It's humans not that simple. Everybody.
It's humans.
And it wasn't that long ago when what humans
would do to each other and put up with,
I mean, we still have brutality in the world.
But again, they have no perspective.
They have no idea how much more routine it was
and how much it affected so many more people around the world.
Right. So there's, it's...
You know, they're just, I mean, the idea that you could...
Don't they read the news?
No, they don't.
They read TikTok, read, ha ha, joke.
I can't believe we're talking about younger people.
We used to be younger people.
I used to be the younger people.
What is this about you with no shirt on?
I mean...
Wait, we're segueing from world problems
to me with my shirt on.
Yeah, because you said we used to be young,
but I'm telling you, you're like Benson Boone-ing it out there.
I mean, I didn't want to say how old you are,
because why would you...
No, it's okay. It's on the internet.
You can't escape that anymore.
Oh, I know.
But really, it's incredible.
Well, dude, you too.
I mean, when I thought of guys in the 70s as a kid,
I thought some hunched over guy with a giant belly
and loafers on his way out.
Because it did used to be that.
Another thing that has changed a lot.
Things change a lot.
Yeah.
You know?
And that is one of the, I agree.
My father, when he was 20 years younger than I am now,
was much more
Sedentary on his way out. We would go out to the driveway if I was shooting baskets and he would like
two steps
One like hook shot. Oh, I gotta go in
No, he always had a good back and if like, you know, it just didn't even cross their mind to like work out
Yeah, or and I remember him ever.
He wasn't obese, but I don't remember him exercising.
Their exercise was smoking cigarettes.
No, I don't either.
None of my parents did.
How do you keep the weight off?
Cigarettes!
How does anybody keep the weight off?
How many do you think?
Cut down your appetite.
You don't want to eat quite as much.
No, cigarettes. Yeah, and they're good for you. My doctor, he smokes himself. He's, you think. Cut down your appetite. You don't want to eat quite as much.
No, cigarettes.
Yeah, and they're good for you.
My doctor, he smokes himself.
He's in an ad.
You can't eat when you're smoking.
Yeah.
Although I've seen people do it.
I think for guys like us, the greatest-
Generation.
Yeah, but the greatest benefit has been the awareness of what keeps you healthy and how you can
stay vital in later years.
Of course.
If I can use that word, later years.
That information wasn't available.
And honestly, they looked at their parents.
I remember my parents saying, yeah, when you're 30 or 40, you get your teeth removed and you
get false teeth.
There was no other option.
That was their view of the world.
Right.
So right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Right.
They made those kind of concessions.
And I concur with you when you say later years, but I mean, let's be honest, we're not in
the earlier years.
No, we are not.
But I'm OK with it.
But I feel like with AI.
We'll live forever.
Well, they could like.
Live forever.
AI live forever.
They could like start a second round of us, which is,
in the past, has always been accomplished
by having children.
You have a mini you.
It's not really you.
The problem with that is that,
here's what I think is the greatest tragedy
in all of human life,
is that you spend all this time and energy
and pain and effort to keep making this thing better,
this brain in your head.
You know, it's...
And it goes with you.
And then because the body can't sustain it, you're throwing out all the...
All this.
I mean, I say to people all the time, like, wouldn't you rather be 30?
I'd rather be physically 30, but if I had to make the choice, I still would be the age
I am now because I don't want that stupid thing in my head that caused me so
much pain and made so many bad decisions.
So I actually wouldn't make the trade.
But it's just such a waste to have accumulated all this knowledge and experience and you
get nicer and you get more accepting.
All this working toward positive, positive, and then, uh.
Throw it in the ground. Throw it in the trash because the fucking,
you know, prostate gave out or whatever.
It's just, it's, it's, they will,
it's crazy, it really is.
They will look back in 200 years and go,
that is so barbaric, and we could be having
Isaac Newton here now, but we just couldn't figure it out.
Yeah, I mean, you know, 25, 30,
they were pretty much done back in the old days.
No, that's not true.
Well, I mean...
In different times of history,
I mean, the Greek playwrights lived,
or they were all 90 when they died,
because Greece...
Ramesses II?
Healthy Mediterranean diet,
olive oil, sunshine, I mean they were lucky.
But they didn't write it down so that we could follow it.
What do you mean?
Well, they didn't say this is how we're living this long.
Well, we can guess there was no pollution.
Absolutely not.
There was no Snickers bars.
Right.
No attitude.
This is what it is.
This is what it is.
This is what it is.
I mean, we're talking about 500 BC.
Yeah.
Okay, life was just healthy, unless it wasn't.
Well, you could die from a toothache, you know.
Or a splinter.
Right.
But their immune systems were probably crazy strong,
so when they did get a splinter,
no, they didn't take antibiotics,
their body just took care of them.
I mean, not always. Then you get to the Middle Ages, and yes, they were living in much worse...
What? Oh my God.
There was Rome, and then there was living in fucking huts, you know, and it all went to shit.
It all went to shit, and there was also two horrible plagues.
It was really the same Bacillus.
Bacillus, it's the right name for it because it's like,
I don't know, but it was the plague of Justinian
in the 6th century, and then it came back as the Black Death,
the bubonic plague. 1347 it started it just you know wiped out half of Europe and Europe didn't recover that population for
For four or five hundred years probably fucked them up. Yeah, it also had benefits
It also kind of ended the Middle Ages. Yeah, you know, it's needed to end which
Well fucked up with a and that you gotta kill half the population to make an omelet.
I've always said that.
I know, but it really did end the feudal system.
Yes, it did.
And that was, you know, that was a major break.
Yes, there was definitely a labor shortage.
When you kill half the people,
there was definitely a labor shortage.
And they also lost a little bit of faith.
And yeah, the ones who would guard them, yeah.
Yes.
I mean, of course, because they were so in the dark about what causing this plague.
Wouldn't that have been scary?
I mean, we know what it's like because of fucking COVID, the beginnings of COVID, where
we wash our bags from the grocery store, right? Again, kids, I'm telling you, you were born
at a really good time, really good.
I know we have a lot of problems, but trust me,
they did not have Grubhub for Chaucer.
You know, they starved.
I mean, even before the Black Death, which started
in 1347,
Europe had just experienced in the earlier part of the century,
and again, for superstitious people, maybe the 1300s,
they would read something into that, Apollo 13, I don't know,
but the 1300s were the worst century ever.
And in the early part of the century, there was a horrible,
just over rain. It killed
all the crops for like 10 years.
What is this now?
Like from 1315 to 1325, it just rained way too much. You know, there was a little ice
age, you know.
Mini ice age, yeah, yeah.
We have global warming for sure. And we also just have climate change.
Does just sometimes happen.
But they didn't have heaters and air conditioning.
So they had to suffer.
I'm telling you, we live in a great time.
With all the shit, it's.
And I don't think in 100 years, they're
going to look back and go, well, those poor fuckers.
I think they're going to go, how amazing they must have been.
About us?
About us.
Well, we did die, and they're going to not do that.
And so they're going to, I think, it's going to be something.
That'd be amazing.
I mean, if they could really pull that off.
Oh, I think they will pull that off.
Really?
I think they will.
Can we stay alive long enough to let happen?
That's our goal.
Some of us with our shirt off.
But I'm not going to let that go.
But no, it's what I was just saying about they will see this as the big tragedy, that
the brain, that's got to be preserved because it has all the knowledge and this passing
it on to the next generation,
it's doing it in a leaky bucket.
I mean, you're doing it, but most of it is,
I mean, when you think, I never had kids,
but when you think about what you have to start over with,
like I have all this knowledge,
and now here's a two-year-old,
and it's just like sky is blue.
Okay, I just never could go through that.
I just like, give me the kid when he's already 20
and a genius and maybe I'll talk to him.
But I just can't go through sky blue.
I just can't.
I get that.
We just had a granddaughter actually.
And we're probably starting at the sky is blue.
Of course.
But we're more enamored with oh my God,
this little beautiful creature in our life.
But I worry, because I thought we wouldn't have to worry about the future, but I think
shit is coming down in our lifetime, and I think I worry about my kids, and I worry about
my kid's kid.
You say you're a grandfather.
And how old are the grandkids?
She was just born, so she's like two weeks old.
How does that change?
I've heard, certainly, people a million times say,
being a parent changes everything.
How does being a grandparent change your mind?
I was never kind of like my wife's
all she wanted was to have babies and be a great mom and everything. She's an amazing human being and
she's the complete baby hog with this. And how long have you been married?
40 years? 42 years? Get the fuck out of town. Yeah, really? Yeah. No, she's amazing.
People say how do you stay married? I say marry marry my wife, but you can't, because I did.
She's responsible for it.
Women, if you're not watching this show, you're missing something, because at the end, Benson
Boone is coming in, and he's going to take her shirt off.
So it's going to be a big night.
So.
Oh, fuck, what were you saying? About your wife? Oh, yeah, she's amazing.
But yeah, so grandkids, I mean, I'm looking at my son and going, seeing him with his baby
and like on his chest and like you see this look in his eyes and it's like I'm going,
you remember that? That's my little boy that I used, you know.
You did that.
Yeah. With him.
Yeah, exactly.
And I was a good dad, and my dad was a great dad too.
But, you know, the new life is a freaky thing.
I don't really know quite where to put
the grandchild yet in my head.
I know they say, oh, you're going to fall in love.
And at the moment, she's a beautiful baby blob.
And my wife is already, she's going over there tomorrow.
And she's got party wheels.
And she's so excited as all get out.
I am really falling behind in this reproductive competition. I don't
know, we don't need more. I think that and yet there's a big movement out
there, Elon Musk, many other people talk about we have to have more babies. This
is like a thing. Everyone else is taking care of that. But I think they're
wrong. I think we already have too many. I think we have way too many. The earth cannot support what it has now.
Right. And their argument is stupid. Their argument is, there's plenty of room.
Yeah, there's plenty of room. There's not plenty of resources.
No, there's not plenty of...
We can fit them here. We just can't feed them and take care of all their shit.
Exactly. Exactly. Where's all that shit go?
Where's all the food come from? Where's all the shit go? It's somewhere. It's insane. It's insane
I really and there's way too many of us and I anyone who who doesn't believe that I mean you just got to look at
Take any segment of any country
Where there's you know
Too many people but there's shit everywhere. It's disease and,
you know, no one's having a good life. Everybody's struggling. They're happy to be alive, but
they're not happy to be alive there.
Right. Well, I mean, if they live, you know, in a nice house and everything, they'd be,
you know, but look at, look at, I mean, what, like 70% of the
world goes to bed hungry or that's crazy.
I don't think that's true.
I think that's an old-
I just made that up.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
All right.
Let's-
I was hoping you would bust me.
Statistics on Club Random are pulled out of our ass.
Okay.
No, but a lot of people go to bed hungry.
Way less than they used to.
Again, kids, if you're on TikTok and it's not there,
I'm telling you, in the 21st century,
we've made enormous progress in what they called,
have always called, extreme poverty.
These are like people who live on a dollar a day. We've made amazing
progress. Not that some people don't. We've also made amazing progress in this century,
hardly ever noted, with the issue of people who defecate in the street. It used to be
like a billion people around the world would just drop, drow, and shit in the street. Really.
This is, you know.
1600 all over again.
We've, yeah, well, in many places never improved.
No.
I mean, I'm sure they did it in London in 1600.
They used to throw shit out the window.
Yeah.
Look out below.
There's a guy named Ralph who does it now.
I mean, there are people who do it now.
There are people who will always do it.
There always will be people who will. Can will imagine what 16th century London smelled like. That's I
read a lot of books about like, you know, tutor and you know, the history and what it
was really like. And you know, Henry the eighth, how he died and all that crazy shit. Scary
man. It was like everybody stank, nobody bathed.
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And you know, it's scary also,
apropos of our previous discussion.
I do remember once, and again, why I wouldn't want
to have a 30-year-old brain, being on a date
and a girl just squatted in a parking lot and took a pee.
A girl I was on a date with.
That could be hot.
I'm sorry.
That could be.
It depends on the girl and the situation.
That could be hot.
I mean, she was-
Did that turn you off or did it turn you off?
It turned me off.
I mean, but look, I understand.
I'm sorry, but that's-
She needed to do it and for some reason we, I blame myself and perhaps-
How old were you?
Who the fuck knows, but I'm guessing 30.
It was a long time ago and, you know, I should have been able to find a bathroom.
Perhaps, maybe we couldn't get into the club.
So I blame myself.
But I don't.
Did you film it?
I don't, there was no film.
You have it on your camera that I can look at.
There was no filming back then.
There was no cell phones.
But I just, I vividly remember that.
Like she was wearing a short skirt, so it wasn't hard to do. And just like, yeah, just a skirt. I'm sorry, I gottaly remember that. Like, she was wearing a short skirt,
so it wasn't hard to do, and just like, yeah, just a skirt.
I'm sorry, I gotta borrow the love doll over here
for a second, you okay with that?
It's a love doll.
But yeah, I mean, you know.
Well, different things turn different people on.
I'm just saying there will always be some shitting
and peeing in the street, but we've really cut it down,
and I think we should give ourselves a clap on the back for that. Could we just acknowledge the progress that we've
made? We really have cut down on people shitting in the street and that's really my whole issue.
I'm a one issue candidate. I mean, look how your life turned out. Awesome, right? I mean,
you must be, every day you must still pinch
yourself.
Yeah, but I still have my issues because I challenge, I know the challenge, but I deal
with myself every day that I want to be a better person, a better writer, a or whatever, you know.
I could never write Don't Worry, Be Happy.
I remember it.
Who was the artist? Bobby McFerrin.
Yeah, I could. Well, very few people could. I feel like every...
Dope and all that. I don't know if it's the dope. I don't smoke dope. I thought you did.
Someone said, yeah, you'll get together with Bill and he'll smoke dope and drink and it'll
be fun.
Were they wrong?
No.
They were right about the fun and the drinking, but that looks like a cigar to me.
Oh no, you don't smell it?
What is it?
Pot.
What do you think it is?
It is?
Of course.
You don't smell it? No.
You should get your nose checked out.
No, really.
Can I sniff it?
You can have it.
You gonna eat it? Smoke it?
You smoke pot?
I don't. Actually, I used to love the pot high,
but I get paranoid now.
That's a fair...
I get paranoid when I eat it, so I don't eat it.
No, I mean, it's not for everyone
Yeah, I mean I I I used to I was an acid guys to love acid really. Yeah
What years are we talking about the 80s? No 70s all through the seven ever I was an acid guy until I
This guy gave me some mushroom and you thought that was really acid because it was windowpane
No, but you think it was really acid because Timothy Leary himself. Yeah, I
saw the chair, dude. I'm very fucking impressed. That's right, that Timothy Leary. I am very fucking
impressed. That's a cool item, yeah. So is this, by the way, and I really thank you
for it. But he told me that like after like almost the original batch, there was
never really acid again.
That people can sell you something,
say it's acid.
Do you, you felt it was acid?
Well, it did what it was supposed to do.
What was that?
Well, I started to see things and rainbows and see, you know.
Good things?
Yeah, no, I was, it was an amazing high for me.
You never had a bad trip?
I did.
The last one I did, actually.
I've done a couple since, but the last one I did, my friend gave me some frozen mushrooms
at a party.
I took them home and I took the mushrooms.
I said, nothing's going on.
He said, oh, well, were they frozen?
I said, yeah, well, I drank some tea.
So I drank some tea, nothing.
So I took some more, nothing. Drank some more tea, nothing.
So I said, fuck it, took some windowpane. I'm sitting in my apartment in Hollywood,
and suddenly the walls start going. Well, you're not supposed to mix.
It all kicked in. You're not supposed to mix.
I know. I didn't know that. It all kicked in and I'm like, uh, I again
Losing machine why we're glad we're not 30 30 because we do things like stupid shit that
Yes, no, I was it was freaky and I think he came all I remember had valium and I'm like pouring valium on my hand
I was like going like
Trying to get valium into my mouth bad drug trips
hand, I was like going like, trying to get Valium into my mouth. Bad drug trips really suck because you know you're not going to get out of it until it
wants you.
It's over.
Until it says it's over and it's going to take a while.
Yeah.
I mean I've.
That's why smoking is better because you can.
That's why you do it.
And edibles, I've had edibles where I thought I was gonna die Yeah, I would rather eat it because I'd rather not have to use my lungs to get high
But it just doesn't work that way. Yeah, no, it's a different high. It's something about
Holding a you know, I used to smoke to do smoke cigarettes at some point for two weeks when I was 14 lucky
You you avoided that but there is something about
I was a new, you know, 30-something talk show host, and like, tell the kid, and I said,
okay, I got a great idea for it.
I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it.
And I was like, I'm gonna do it. And I was like, I'm gonna do it. And I was like, I'm gonna do it. And I was the new, you know, 30 something talk show host
and like tell the kid and I said,
okay, I got a great idea for it.
I wanna be honest with the kids and tell them,
smoking is cool.
Yeah, that's why you wanna do it.
You have to be aware of that so that you can say,
no, I am cool on my own.
I don't need this to be cool.
I thought that was a great message
No one got it. Thank you. Thank you for your suggestions. We'll let you know. Can you just read this? I
Don't think they heard anything past smoking is cool, but it is they don't want yeah
I mean that's and it's back in movies because it's cool. Yeah. And it's also a way to indicate maybe that a... You're an elegant human being. Or
you're a thinker. Or a nervous human being. It can also be... Yeah, right. Oh, well, yeah.
I mean everybody did it because they wanted it to hang in the fingers and everybody to
go, he's fucking cool. I mean, when I was an actor in the 80s, I remember always, you know, doing the scene,
especially if it's the close-up, and like second it was over, light the cigarette.
Because I was like, you know, this is my remorse.
Stress reliever.
Stress reliever.
You know, I mean, you never did that when you were an actor?
You weren't a smoke.
Smoking, you mean? Well well anything like right after the scene
I would I didn't start acting till I came over here. I remember watching you on
Californication and I was like wow, this guy is
this is risky he's playing like a
Terrible version of himself with his own name. Am I remembering that wrong?
Yes, no, you're remembering correctly.
Yeah.
I mean, I thought it was very entertaining and gutsy,
but it was like, wow, for a guy who, you know,
is sort of on the cusp of having a lot of stupid people,
want to write them off and like, not giving you-
I spent my whole life, dude.
I know.
I'm at the point where I don't fuck it.
You're really giving them ammunition. But it was also a great way life doing it. I'm at the point where I don't fuck it. You're really giving them...
ammunition.
But it was also a great way to own it.
Yeah.
I think it was the right decision.
I liked that show. I watched every episode.
Writing was crazy.
And when I signed on, they sent me the first script.
And it was mild.
And I said, guys, I know what your show is about.
And I'm okay with doing
whatever you want to do.
So the next script that arrived, I'm like fucking everything, but it was great.
It was great writing, and I'm okay with that because, I mean, unless you're a fucking moron,
they don't hire doctors to play doctors, they hire actors to play doctors.
And a friend of mine said oh
I had to defend you a couple of years ago. She had to defend you against
This woman said I didn't know Rick Springfield. I saw a California case. I didn't know Rick Springfield did blow
Said it's acting
Are you trying to tell me George Clooney is not a doctor?
I'm sorry. No sell it somewhere else pal and I not a doctor. I'm sorry. Sell it somewhere else, pal.
And I was a doctor for 18 months on a soap opera.
Oh, yeah.
I remember that.
Yeah.
And I did one operation, and the kid died.
What soap opera?
General Hospital.
Oh.
Because I work at CBS Studios.
That's where we take it.
Oh, Young and Restless.
My best friend, Doug Davidson.
And Bold and Beautiful.
Yeah.
Were you on that?
Because you're very bold and you're very beautiful.
No, but when I go to my writers meeting,
we pass it in the golf court, the set of it every day.
I mean, people are.
Who are these beautiful people that look like her?
That robot. Well, you know, soap operas, a lot of great, big people
were on soap operas.
It's a great learning platform.
Yeah.
You felt it served that for you?
Yeah, yeah, it was great.
I mean, I.
Well, who did you play?
Dr. Michael Matthews?
I don't know who that is.
Well, I'm just guessing.
You're throwing a name out.
Dr. Noah Drake.
Dr. Noah Drake is so much better.
It's so much.
Dr. Noah Drake. Dr. McDreamy and the patients.
They named actually Joey's character on Friends Drake after my character, Drake something, whatever his last name was.
And you'd give the girl a breast exam and then she'd say, now let me do you.
All he did was pick up, it was like he was in my every scene,
but in a cafeteria or in someone's bed.
Oh, poor you.
Well, acting with a girl is very, you know,
it's really hard for me to be turned on
when there's sturdy guys around,
staring at you, and you know, it's, you know what, I mean, it's.
Well, you're not supposed to be, you're acting.
Yeah.
You're not even supposed to.
Let's be honest.
Yeah.
A couple of times this happened.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it does happen.
Yeah.
And it's actually very exciting when it does because it's very real.
For who?
For you or her.
Sometimes both, yeah.
Yeah. I mean, look at all the people who fall in love from doing. Yeah. Sometimes both, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, look at all the people who fall in love from doing...
I know, I know.
You know, they're on sets and the script says...
You love them and...
And you're crazy for... and they're actors.
Yeah.
You know, that's...
Oh, this is what I...
It's so easy.
I'm gonna commit to this role.
Right.
It's so easy to get hot people to actually fall in love with each other.
Let's get them together.
Put them in a movie.
Give them to smell around.
The only thing that tabloids and gossip places do is either try to break up a couple or get
them together.
Or tell everybody they're together and they don't want anyone to know.
And it's very easy to do that.
To get them together.
It is.
It really is.
They lined me up.
When I first came over here, I was in all these teen magazines.
I just thought about this the other day, actually, because someone brought it up.
But they, you know, remember Susan Day, right?
She was the beautiful...
I live in her house.
Get the fuck out.
That house, I live next door.
She was the original owner.
I have pictures of when she lived there.
I was just close to fucking her in that house.
Everything.
Oh, I just heard laughter.
No, it's wild, dude.
That is so bizarre,
because they lined me up with her.
But I thought, oh, it's just a teen magazine thing, so it's not a real
date. So I'll just play along. And at the end, I said, hey, nice to meet you. And I
left. But they tried to line us up to get us together so that it would be press. But
I was clueless, so I didn't get it. And thankfully, your house is sanctioned.
Back to us being clueless when we were young, right?
Yes. Okay. I was totally fucking clueless when we were young, right? Yes.
I was totally fucking clueless.
But I mean, people I think know.
Sorry, Susan, if you hear this, I'm sorry.
You're wonderful.
I love you.
And I would have loved to, but I was crazy.
I was clueless.
Yeah, and thank you, Susan.
It's a great house.
I mean, she sold it to someone before.
I didn't get it from her, but I believe
she was the original owner.
That is wild.
And I have pictures of what it was like
when she was there.
Wow, men and women are so different.
I mean, it was just way more feminine.
Of course.
Of course.
But it's, dude, I am so amazed.
I walk back here and there's all these grounds.
I mean, there can't be many houses with grounds like this.
This isn't that, this is the house next door. Oh, okay. So you got what? All right. Yeah. That's how you get grounds like that. Yeah. That's great. It's really fabulous. I need land for my crops.
Yeah. Okay. This comes from my land. I'm not gonna claim I personally grew it,
but I do feel so good about the fact that,
like, my own land produces the weed that makes me high.
Oh, you grow your own.
That's right.
That's right, Rick, I grow my own.
I grow my own and I smoke my own,
because that's what real men do.
That's what real men do.
And let me tell you something,
it's a rich irony that you pretty boys are always more
miserable than guys like me.
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
And cut.
Yeah, exactly.
Right.
But you enjoyed the acting part, right?
Yeah, I love acting.
Oh, you do?
I did.
I never did.
I hated it.
Too much waiting. Yeah, you do? I never did. I hated it. Too much waiting.
Yeah, I mean, there's that.
But it's the passion for the part.
And to me, it's as exciting as writing a song that I finish and go, oh, that actually is
not bad.
And you do something and you feel like you've done a good job.
Yeah.
I did get a high after you nail your close-up.
I remember that.
Or nailing a scene.
Yeah, when you nail a scene, that's a great feeling.
It absolutely is.
I mean, for me, it added up to nothing.
And it always, I was never destined to be that.
I mean, doing what I do, I mean, as a comedian in general,
but especially the kind I am,
is the exact opposite of an actor.
The exact opposite.
It's all true.
It's all exactly what I really think
and not like somebody else's words.
It's not a script and you can't talk about the people's.
But you know, it was in my head, again,
stupid when I was young,
but we all thought when we came out
of the New York comedy clubs,
the way to get ahead was to be an actor, you know, get on sitcoms.
I followed the script.
I did.
I got onto sitcoms, and then I did like silly movies.
I mean, we have some of the posters around here.
Some of them aren't real, but they could have been.
Religious.
Religious?
Well, that was good.
That's not a silly movie.
That was real.
That was me.
That was funny.
Did you write that?
Yeah, I was 51 when I did that. okay. That's the one movie that I love.
But I did DC cab and silly movies
and I could handle that kind of acting.
But it was never where I was gonna wind up
and luckily I got where I was supposed to get going.
But to our earlier discussion about why do you do it?
I mean, you do in life what you're good at.
I don't play tennis because I'm not good at it.
I play basketball because I'm good at it.
Really?
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to.
It's OK.
Why do you say it like that?
I know I didn't picture you as a basketball guy.
I'm not saying I could join the Lakers tomorrow
But like for my age
Yeah, I can still hope I'm impressed. What do you play?
guitar
No, I in Australia. I don't play shirtless pickleball. I do and it's hot
No, don't you know do something you're in good shape.
No, I work out but I soccer was my game as a kid.
I love soccer.
I moved to England as a kid.
That's a great game workout.
The best.
So you moved to England?
Yeah.
So you're like the Bee Gees.
So yeah.
Well, the Bee Gees are born in England and they moved to Australia and then they moved back to England.
Okay, but there's that connection.
Yeah. And I love there's that connection. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I love the Bee Gees.
Their writing is...
I will fight you for who loves the Bee Gees more.
Because I love the Bee Gees.
They are amazing.
They are. Another group like Billy Joel
doesn't quite get the do from the critics
who have relegated...
They had three fucking careers exactly
I always career in Australia. They wrote okay
I have a friend in Australia who is a big in the 60s is he was one of the top solo guys, right?
Solo stars and he and he heard these these three brothers in Sydney that writes good songs
So he went up his name was Ronnie Burns,
and he went up to Sydney, he flew up to Sydney.
They pull up in a Volkswagen van, these three brothers,
and they say, can you give us some money for petrol?
So he gives them some money for gas,
and they drive back to their house.
They've got a guitar with two strings on it,
because they can't afford any more strings.
And they play him three songs, and he says my god I'll take that and then he play him
another one and they say I want that one they said no that's for us and a song
called spicks and specks I know the song where you was their first hit yeah it's
a great they wrote it on a two strings of a fucking guitar that sounds like
bullshit no it's not both how could you write how could you this is wrong this
is a guy who was there Rick think about. How could you play a song with a guitar with two strings?
Oh, Jesus.
Specs and Specs.
Is that two strings?
Well, it's one string.
Where is the sun?
You just need to move up the neck.
Oh.
Spicks and the specks in my life.
I stand corrected.
Right?
It's a great song.
Yeah, it's one of their early great ones.
And that was their first hit.
And then they had the amazing ballads, and then they went under and thought they were
over, and then they came back with this, it wasn't disco, they were Beyond Disco. And they came back with these brilliant... No disco. They were beyond disco and they came back
No, they were the kings of disco fucking amazing song. I mean the
People remember you weren't alive
I was 21 I think in that year and I was in happened to be in Europe and
It's all anybody played was the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever. Yeah, and it was a double album. No, it's huge
I was asking Billy Joel last week about,
what is your list of great double albums?
Because it's not that big.
But Saturday Night Fever is definitely on that list.
Now, it's not all BG's recordings.
But I think they wrote them all.
They wrote them all, yeah.
I mean, some of them were done by other artists.
But it is in a
movie. Oh we've got another song we don't want to do it's a great song do you want it?
You know oh they wrote Islands in the Stream is an awesome song that they wrote first that
was not a hit for them and the ones they wrote for Andy Gibb. Yeah right. I just want to
be your everything. How great is that record right you know the one I'm talking about?
Yeah I know all the Bee Gees.
I mean it sounds exactly like the Bee Gees.
Well, he was the Bee Gees. And they were almost going to pull him into the Bee Gees before he died.
I mean, but you say they had three different careers. To me, yes, they had like the 60s early stuff,
then they had the disco period, and the 60s early stuff alone has so many hits.
I've got to get a message to you.
I started a joke.
I was in Vietnam when I heard that single.
I blew my mind.
Now what do you think that's about?
They certainly have said over the years
that it was about Jesus.
You know what they were?
They were consummate songwriters.
They would pick a song and go, let's write a song like that only to make it better.
And they'd write a better song.
And I don't think it went to that extent that it was.
Well, there was the line, I died, which started the whole world living.
That suggests-
I think it's wordplay, dude.
That suggests one particular person in history. No, but I think it's wordplay. Okay, but like if I say it's wordplay, dude. That suggests one particular person in history.
No, but I think it's wordplay. Okay, but like if I say... Brilliant wordplay. Like Lenin. Lenin would always talk about his songs.
There's that great thing where he meets a guy and he's... That's not wordplay. Alright, okay.
Well, that's your take. I get it. Wait, let me ask you. If there was never such a song, and I just said to you, Rick, let's play a game. I'm going to say a sentence.
Tell me who you think of.
And it was, I freed the slaves.
Lincoln?
Right.
I died and started the whole world living.
Okay.
Point taken.
I mean, I don't even know if it is or if they even were trying to like be Christy at the moment
I but you can't ignore that. No, it's a brilliant line
I don't give a shit. No, and it doesn't matter because songs are open to interpretation, right? I love the song
That's fucking amazing. It's just a great song
And if it is that if they came up with that then that's even more brilliant
But just and they didn't talk about to not talk about it just the
premise and the title I started a joke yeah no it's brilliant and that's what
that brought Robin back into the fold right but you know where most they say
most sick jokes start no prison Australia penal colony it all okay but
they're from England they were born in the Is started. Okay, but they're from England.
They were born in the Isle of Man.
Yeah, but they're known as Australia.
But they went to Australia, so they have the convict by assimilation.
By the way, I gotta say, InXS also an amazing band.
Yeah, they're Aussies.
Amazing.
Absolutely.
And Crowded House, even though they're from...
Crowded House, so great, so great.
I know there's so many great bands.
Not so many.
I just named them all.
Actually, those were...
Okay.
Lulu, I think maybe had...
No, Lulu was English.
Okay.
Okay.
Daddy Cool.
Don't know that.
You gotta hear it.
Ross Wilson, Daddy Cool, the church.
Have you ever heard the church?
No. Who are these? your local high school band?
No, I know, if they'd been, they were Australian,
but if they'd been, they should have been huge.
They were fucking amazing.
And Steve Kilby still around, and the singer.
Okay, but I'm not denying this premise,
but I just gotta ask,
because sometimes you hear about bands like this
or people like this, and they were amazing,
but you don't know why.
Like, if they were really amazing,
I always say show business, it is full of bullshit,
but the cream does rise to the top.
Generally, the people you know about
are the actually, actually are the best ones.
I know you think that there's some leading man
in the woods who's probably better than Timothy Chalamet.
No, he's the right guy for this moment.
He's very good at what his job is.
He's very cares.
And whatever it is, or DiCaprio and his era,
or who have Humphrey Bogart. You know, casting directors,
they actually don't really make big mistakes usually.
So when I hear, like, oh, they're great,
and you never heard of them, like, who...
And by the way, I could name some musical artists
who I think that...
Yeah, of course.
But music is...
I think it's a different art than acting.
Music hits you in such a place that nothing else does,
really.
It triggers something in you, just the beat and the music.
And it's 12 notes.
And they make, look at all the amazing songs from 12 notes.
People get so annoyed at you when
you don't like what they like and they think you should.
Listen to this.
You're listening to this.
No, you're not hearing it, man.
You don't like that?
Give it some time.
No, fuck yourself.
I could play shit you don't like that I think is great.
It's very personal.
Music is very personal.
It is.
It's not like movies where, I mean, music, you sit in a room alone as a kid when you're
forming and this amazing stuff comes in.
It's really part of your makeup is the music you pull in while you're still, you know,
I call it the window where you're like 13 and realize, oh, there's shit out there.
Until you get married or you have a job or and it shuts it down and you go,
I get it all over my life.
Is that window where everything,
where music comes in and it stays with you forever?
Ever.
Yep.
No, I mean, I don't know what I would do without it.
Right, I mean, it's your soul, it feeds your soul.
You know, when I'm, I have music from the 60s that I listen if I listen to
It now I go
That's pretty fucking lame, dude
But because I was 13 14 15 it spoke to me and it reassured me and I loved it
I I don't have
All the Beatles early stuff in my iPod that I play.
I won't go into iPods again, but I do like to listen to my Shuffle because it's got 4,000 songs,
all of which have one thing in common. I like them.
But I don't have all the early Beatles stuff.
I mean, some of it is just, first of all, the lyrics are for 12-year-olds, which is okay. We understand that.
Well, I don't think guys at that age would like that.
But if I Fell is in there, because that is always good.
That was John's first great ballad.
It's a great ballad.
It's a great ballad.
But I don't have Love Me Do.
They were 16.
I mean, I've heard it enough.
I get it.
It has their magic.
Like, all of it has their magic,
but it's just not a song I want to hear over and over again, right?
If it comes on it doesn't we you are Paul or John guy as a kid
Oh, that's not a question. You can never ask a beetle fan because you have to love them equally
No, that's not a good answer. That's my honest answer. Really? Yeah. Oh, it's a Paul guy because
Well, well cuz I love the way I had a boy crush could love the way look plus
He was amazingly talented. He had a voice like a fucking God
He could play every instrument and I took for me. He wrote the most pop best song but as I've gotten older of
understood strawberry fields and and and
the great John songs that really
stick to the wall
Revolution well revolution. I was never crazy about honestly. I'm I'm still crazy about it and always will be all right
I'm sorry, but that's what I'm at the single fast version. Yeah, the single fast version
Yeah, I'm not that's not but the rock one. Oh with one of the single. Yeah one of the first
Examples of distorted guitar distorted guitar. Yeah, and they didn't put it through an app. They put it through a board
It was the right choice. Yeah
We're still copying the Beatles. I mean I hear songs now where they've taken snippets and snuck it in but they were copying
Well, yeah, but they took it way beyond, dude.
Of course they did, but everybody cops from the...
Everybody stands on somebody's shoulders.
I absolutely agree with that.
Well, they say that themselves.
Absolutely.
I mean, on their first three albums...
Yeah.
I'm sorry, three of their first four albums, the exception being Hard Day's Night.
Hard Day's Night.
There was 14 songs and six covers on each.
So they did 18 covers.
So.
Well, that's because they weren't writing enough,
that's all.
Yeah, and also because they were still paying tribute to the time.
And hammered with who had inspired them.
Yes, the time that went before.
And I'm glad they did.
I'm glad they did, please, Mr. Postman.
The British bands are responsible for the acknowledgement of black American blues. When
black America, when America was going, we don't pay attention to them, England was going,
oh my God, these guys are frickin' unbelievable. I mean, Keith Richards devoted, I think, a couple of years of his life to giving Chuck
Berry his due and bringing...
Well, Chuck had had hits.
I mean, he was like one of the few black artists that was actually on the white charts.
But there's all, Howlin' Wolf and Muddy Waters and all
these guys that they were, I was listening to as a kid too. And they were, I'm going,
I'm hearing this growl and this animal-like shit coming out of these guys. I'm going,
what is that? It was almost scary. It was so intense.
Yeah. And you can imagine the racism in his or error that Chuck Berry had to endure
Oh, so when crazy to me, I mean he participated as I recall in the Keith Richard's
Yeah, is that the one more kid where he punched Keith in the mouth?
I mean, I think Keith Richards expected him to be like, you know, thank you so much
Yeah, thank you so much taking the time to you so much. For taking the time to acknowledge
that I am the progenitor of rock and roll.
And Chuck Berry was like, Whitey, you know what?
If you expect a thank you, you have got another thing coming.
I did it.
I'm happy I did it.
I did it originally.
You just copied me.
I don't need you to come in here and tell me I did it and say thank you.
Because first of all, you stole it.
Stole his legs, all his legs.
But no one would know about them.
It wasn't for the British bands that loved them.
They wouldn't be where they are or where they became. I mean they brought them out and toured with them.
You know that they understood how amazing they were because there wasn't the same prejudice in England as there was here.
They kept them away from the radio here.
And I you know, I mean I look now I look for black artists that kind of continue that blues
Energy and there's there's a couple of them around and they're amazing like but I mean that's where
That's where I learned to play the guitar was from blues players because it was it was simple
You could play it in a couple of weeks
It was simple You could play it in a couple of weeks
It wasn't hard, but you couldn't get you know my our white boy versions of you know
Smoked-tack lightning were pretty fucking lame, but you could play the riffs and you could feel like you were doing something
You know authentic
The great thing about the arts is that most of us are such poor
impersonators that when we steal, it's so bad our impersonation that nobody recognizes it. Woody Allen was doing Bob Hope. He was
doing him, but he's so different you didn't see it.
No one saw it.
And sometimes, Paul McCartney was doing Little Richard, but he's just a different guy.
So in his mind, he's doing it, but we don't see it.
And that's okay. That's not appropriation. It's all appropriation.
That's what culture is, appropriating from each other. It's actually a beautiful thing.
Or a beautiful mission. No, it's continuing the legacy.
Yes.
It's, I mean, and what.
And sharing ideas.
Yeah.
And what Paul did with I'm Down, you know,
he basically created a Little Richard song.
But the fact that he could sing like that.
Well, and he did it on their last album, Abbey Road.
He did.
Oh, Darling. Oh, Darling, which is a Road, he did... Oh Darling.
Oh Darling, which is a rock, which is a torch song.
You know, I'm sure John was rolling his eyes.
Yeah, he said, I wish I should have sung that.
Actually, I read a quote, he said, I should have sung Oh Darling.
But...
Well, he put out a solo album, Lennon did.
Yeah, the rock and roll one.
Rock and roll.
And he did love that raw music.
That was their big beef, is that he wanted it
raw like the early days.
Well, they were.
I mean, you listen to the first album.
They were both.
The first album, they did in, what, like 12 hours or something.
And you can hear how shredded their voices are.
That's why they recorded Twist and Shout last.
Last, right, because it would shred his throat.
But you can hear like nasal shit going on up here.
I love it.
The vocal to Twist and Shout is one of my all time favorites.
And it's because it's a little shredded.
Yeah.
I mean, it's the energy.
But people weren't doing, white guys
weren't doing that back then.
They were Pat Boone, you know.
I mean, they thought Elvis was black when they played him.
You know, I mean, that was part of it.
Oh, that's one thing I have.
I have Elvis stationary, the Beatles sign.
The Beatles sign?
Beatles signed Elvis stationary.
When they went to meet, they went to meet them in 1965. Yeah out here. And well the Hollywood Hills he was staying in
some house and he was making a picture you know. That was the
era when he was making two shitty pictures every year. I mean they made
money. But dude I hated them but I love them now. He hated them.
I know, but I...
Fon and Acapulco, I love that music.
I love Elvis.
Yeah, I do, too.
I mean, but I'm not gonna watch Fon and Acapulco again.
Once was enough.
No, I wouldn't watch it, but I love the...
The music is kind of...
Back then, I'm like, oh, this is fucked up.
But now, because of childhood memories and everything,
it's wonderful to me.
And I met Elvis on a plane.
Really?
Yeah.
Elvis Presley.
No, I'm sorry.
Is there another?
Yeah, there was Gus Ellen.
Yeah.
No, I met Elvis on a plane.
What year was this?
1973.
I'd just come over here.
And actually, my managers at the time
My manager was Steve Binder
who Directed the the comeback special. Oh the other specific come back to the eight and he has a black leather suit
Yeah, yes, but what was he like when you met him? He was wonderful
Actually, I walked on the plane and he was sitting
I was in the back of the bus because I was going to Australia to renew my visa and he was sitting I was in the back of
the bus because I was going to Australia to renew my visa and he was sitting in
the front and a powder blue suit and jet black hair and skinny and he looked
fucking amazing I wasn't a fan back then because I was you know the beetle guy and
everything and I walked by him and I sit in're a fan of Elvis. I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis. I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis.
I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis.
I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis.
I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis.
I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis.
I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis.
I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis.
I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis.
I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis.
I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis.
I said, hey, I know you're a fan of Elvis. I said, hey, I time in Australia that was an Elvis fan.
And I said, hey, he came up to me and said, hey, I know Steve Binder, he's my manager.
And he goes, Steve, I love Steve, which he did.
I mean, they really had a great connection.
And I said, will you sign this autograph to Allison?
I guess he thought my name was Allison.
So I wrote thanks. And to this day,
I write thanks a lot of the times on my autographs because Elvis wrote that on this autograph
to her.
You know what? I've been looking for something to write on the autograph for like 30 years.
I give it to you, brother.
Thanks.
Thanks.
It's so simple and so right.
It's absolutely right. I love you.
I'm thanking you for being my fan.
I'm thanking you for appreciating what I do.
Right.
Right. The better version is thank you for loving me,
but I don't want to go there.
No, I don't want to go there either.
Yeah, it was awesome. So I had a little tape recorder that I used to record my demos on,
and I put the autograph in there to take it back
to my girlfriend, and when I was getting off the plane
in Australia, the customs go, aw, what's up, mate?
You know, yeah, I have porn on my little recorder,
and we need to take that and look at that.
When it came back, the autograph was gone.
Really?
Yeah, so some fucker has the Elvis autograph.
I think I might change mine to thank you from thank.
Thank you.
I like that better.
Yeah.
It's a little.
Thanks a little, thanks.
I gotta go over here, but thanks.
You can get away with it if you're Elvis.
You definitely can get away with it if you're fucking Elvis.
I think I need the full thank you.
I may need.
I may need.
A maybe parenthesis. Don't forget me, ever. I may need... A maybe parenthesis.
Don't forget me ever.
I may need thank you very much.
In two languages.
Are you Swedish?
But you still write songs?
Yeah, yeah, I'm writing...
Like every day? Is that something you do like every day?
Every day. Every day?
No, not every day. It's a binge thing.
And, um, I love to day. It's a binge thing.
And I love to write.
It's my favorite thing to do.
And I just had an album out with like 20 new songs.
And
Come on, they put 20 songs on an album?
Yeah, it was digital.
You can do that now.
Plus I write short songs.
But yeah, I love to write.
It's really fun for me.
And to play a new song in a show,
I mean, you can only play the songs we play so many times
and go, okay, here we go again.
You have to play the hits.
Yeah, and I get that.
And I love that because I want the audience to have fun.
You have to. I want the audience to have fun. You have to.
I want the audience to have fun.
I'm not the guy that get up, hey, this is my new album.
I'd like to play all 12 cuts.
No, no, no.
And it's not the venue either.
So we throw a couple songs in, new songs.
Everybody does that.
Yeah, it's great.
I love it.
Hey, we have to go to the bathroom sometime.
Yeah.
I went to an Elton John show.
And he says, yeah, we like, I'm going to play a new song
for my new album, and I got up to go to the bathroom, right?
And there was a fucking line to the male bathroom.
Right, and I get behind this guy, and he turned around
and goes, new song, huh?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
That would be funny, but it's something
to put in an album cover of just people in line
for the bathroom.
These are new songs.
These are the songs you're going to hear.
Bathroom songs.
I mean, it's a little unfair because...
I get it. You go for a maximum moment. You're going to a concert for a maximum moment.
You don't want...it's a big deal.
You babysitter, dog sitter, whatever, dinner,
over expensive T-shirt, walking the ridiculous,
walking up to a venue with a trillion people,
finding your right seat.
You want it to be a moment.
You don't want dead, you know,
we're going to play our new song,
hope you buy our single.
I mean, whenever I read about concerts, it makes me always say to myself, I just don't understand
the American economy.
We can't seem to solve this issue where, yes, there are, no, not 70% of people starving,
not even close.
But a lot of people really struggling.
Like half the country has $400 in the bank.
Like they can't, one little hiccup,
and they're fucked.
And then Beyonce and Taylor Swift,
and you know, I mean, you're not getting their ticket price,
but it's a lot of money to see your shit. Yeah, it's a shitload.
And like you say, with babysitters and cars.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I mean, I went to just a restaurant out at the beach
last weekend.
Parking was $27.
The fuck is up with us?
$27 just to park.
My Beatles ticket was six shillings, which is about $1. What the fuck is up with us? $27 just to park. My Beatles ticket was six shillings,
which is about $1.50.
My Fair Lady was on Broadway,
the biggest hit in 1956, the year I was born.
A ticket was $6 for the front row.
I sold My Fair Lady in London.
Wow, wow.
Julie Andrews.
Wow!
And Rex Harrison. Come on. I was 10 years
old. I didn't appreciate it. My mom was completely into that shit. She took us to this. London.
Yeah. With Julie Andrews. I mean, she didn't even do the movie. I mean, Audrey Hepburn
did a great job. Right, right. But she was the original Eliza Doolittle. She killed it. I mean, I always say that is one part
that I would be great at, Professor Higgins.
Professor Higgins?
I would not Eliza Doolittle,
but I could be a curmudgeonly professor.
It's a great part, and you can't ever be kind of too old
for it.
You could do it too.
It was so amazing, and he couldn't sing,
so he spoke the fucking line. He half sang. Yeah, but it was wonderful when he did. No, no, you're right. That album
played through my house. Me too. For years. The other thing that played in my house as
a child was Camelot, Richard Burton. Was that one of the greatest musicals ever?
Both because of the music.
Was it Rodgers and Hammerstein?
You know what?
I love Rodgers and Hammerstein were my favorites because of Oklahoma, Carousel, South Pacific.
It was played through my house all the time.
I don't know if they did Carousel. I mean, Camelot.
We need to look that up.
Well, I know Lerner and Lowe did My Fair Lady.
Yeah, My Fair Lady, right.
They did great shit.
Yeah, they did great shit.
Anyway, somebody did that.
We did Camelot.
I mean, we need to know.
No, let them look it up.
Look it up.
They all have fucking jachy PT.
They can find it in two seconds.
And they don't care.
And I don't care.
They're dead.
No, I'm a writer, so I'd love to know who wrote what.
I don't think it is Roger's Networks.
No, I don't think so either.
Because it's a little too hip for them.
Yeah.
Yes, I agree.
And later on, too.
But it was always a very meaningful show for me.
If people don't know what it is, it's the King Arthur legend.
But it made into a romantic story,
and then, of course, used as a metaphor for the Kennedy
administration.
But in the story, King Arthur, he's older.
They made a movie of it with Richard Harris
Richard Gere what yes not Richard Harris Sean Connery Sean Connery played the
King the Camelot movie it's called first night oh okay but it's not a musical no
no it's the same story right right yeah the story is that King Arthur he's older
and he's got a young bride and then she falls
for the handsome young knight played by Robert Goulet originally.
Goulet!
Who was a friend of mine, Sir Lancelot.
Wait, Lancelot's a friend of yours or Goulet's a friend of yours?
Goulet.
Is he still around?
No.
Dude, he's awesome.
He was. We had a great time. A little. Dude, he's awesome. He was.
We had a great time.
A little kooky, but still.
I would love to have met Goulet.
Still, oh, I could have, we'll cook that up.
Still friends with his widow.
My mother was a giant Goulet fan as a kid.
My mom was too.
Okay, so for her 75th birthday, I flew her to Vegas on a private plane, and we went to Robert
Goulet's house and then went out to dinner in the limo to ho...
So how did you hook up with Robert Goulet?
You know, I was on TV.
He was a fan.
I had him on the show or whatever.
You know, it wasn't hard.
Isn't that great?
It wasn't hard.
Great.
Totally great.
Yeah.
Fucking great when you meet people that you wouldn't normally have met because of what
you do.
Yeah.
It also could be dangerous. You know, they say don't meet your idols. I mean, have met because of what you do. Yeah, it also could be dangerous.
You know, they say don't meet your idols.
I mean, there's some of that that can happen.
Yes, I agree totally.
Yeah.
And Paul McCartney is a fucking god.
He's great.
I've met him a number of times.
I am not disappointed.
He's an amazing human being.
I wouldn't want to, I'd be scared to meet John.
Yeah.
You ever meet John? No. No, no one did. No one to meet John. You ever meet John?
No.
No one alive met John.
I would be scared to meet John.
People alive have, but he died in 1980.
That is a long time ago.
I had an apartment in the Hawthorne Boulevard in Hollywood.
When I first came over here, I thought, oh my God, Hungry Man Dinners.
How amazing. And I eat these Hungry Man Dinners, how amazing. And I eat these
Hungry Man Dinners and tell my mom, yeah, this America is amazing. They got these whole
dinners and tin foil and I started to get like zits popping out all over my head. And
the doctor said, you got to go to a real restaurant and eat a steak. So I went, I used to go to
the Hungry Tiger across the street from me, La Brea Avenue. And I'm standing on La Brea
Avenue waiting across for traffic.
And a Rolls Royce goes by,
and Lenin is sitting in the passenger seat.
And it's so, so, you know it's him, right?
And he's heading to A&M Studios,
which is just down the street.
For his, you know, stuff he did in the last weekend.
But it was Lenin,. I'm going, wow.
So what kind of food did you have in Australia? Grubs and roots? You're impressed by that?
Oh, kangaroos. We eat sharks. We eat snakes. Poison snakes.
But you had food. You didn't have Hungry Man dinners?
No. I came over here and we think America, back then we thought America, my mom used
to say, oh my God, their teeth are so white, their skin is so good.
You know, the movies, the movies were the greatest PR thing America ever had. And still,
people still want to come to America because of the movies.
And I know I once asked Chris Hemsworth, why do you guys all speak such perfect America?
You do these American accents. And he said, because that's all we watched as kids. I know I once asked Chris Hemsworth, why do you guys all like speak such perfect America?
You do these American accents.
He said, because that's all we watch as kids, is American TV.
I remember in my high school, walk around trying to imitate John Wayne.
And all I wanted to do was come to America.
I wanted to be in America.
Well, I'm here.
You're here. It was a pleasure and beyond to meet you,
get to know you and talk to you. I'm a fan of yours. Yeah. You came to America and you
did so well and I'm glad you're over your depression. And yes I did and I will not hang myself. I hope we do wonderful things.
Oh my God. I know, I'm a fun guy.
Thank you, brother.
I'm telling you, really, it goes fast.
That was awesome.
So were you, by the way.
This is Trixie Mattel, co-host of the
Bald and the Beautiful podcast, Drag Queen,
and Amazon Prime enthusiast.
And I'm Katya, interpretive dancer, chaos agent, and someone who orders from Amazon Prime more often than I check my email.
That's true.
Yeah.
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Hi, I'm Heather McDonald,
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while digging into the latest gossip, Prime is my silent co-host.
The truth is, Prime doesn't just support my passions, it fuels them from spontaneous
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Whatever you're into, it's on Prime.
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