Club Random with Bill Maher - Roseanne | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: December 3, 2023

Bill and Roseanne Barr on whether jokes can save humanity, how Joe Rogan’s doctor helped Roseanne, what Roseanne’s kids won’t forgive her for, the time Roseanne and Bill got into a battle at the Playboy mansion, how the Pharaohs were inbred, Roseanne’s wild pig infestation in Hawaii, the comedians who were the greatest at speaking their mind, Bill and Roseanne do George and Gracie, Roseanne’s pyramid of power,  the beauty of kaballah, Roseanne’s accident when she was young and the meaning of singleton and multiple personalities, and breaking down the Bible.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How many trees do you have? 5,000. How many people do you take to 10 to 5,000 trees? Well, see, that's the problem. You want to always pick a fight. Because they try to destroy me, you spell. You tell me to the network? Yeah!

Hey! Look at you! You look like a southern bell. I do, I live in Texas. And I, and I, I think I lived in Hawaii. I do, I live in both. Excuse me. One blue, one red, one foot in each bitch is.

I don't know, I, I see your old warms up. I am. I'm ready for you, but you ain't ready for me. That has always been true. Well, I mean, I love you. I love you too, because you're... Did we start? Yeah.

We're on the air. Well, I would hardly call it the air. Whatever. We're broadcasting. You don't know that. It doesn't matter. I don't know. The point of this show is that it's exact the conversation that we would have if we

weren't on the air and it will be but we are but and and that's the one of the greatest things about you is that unlike most people in this world you're dirty hands that you wash your dirty hands for you to come in the ice because i i think about jerry what you want me to get a whole bunch of new eyes? If you say you washed your hands after you peed, I'm gonna accept your apology. All right. Also, I have the eyes, especially treated with a chemical.

That kills me. I bet you get a monsanto, you rive here. That kills my pee. Should I do that? I bet you did. you're all prochemical and pro Montsanto and all that crazy shit. I'm so not, you know that. Are you shit me, the shit you say drives me berserk.

Okay, I have a, you can attack me in many things. No, I'm not, but I, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I know, but I want, but I need to straighten you out, I'm telling you. No, you, that's straightin' me. Yeah, because you don't even know 70 if I want it put your hand down right there do it No, what are you gonna do? I'm gonna cover it with mine and I'm gonna tell you that I

Love you. Wow. What a 180 that was I Love you and I don't want to hurt you. I love you too. You're fucking hand there. I wash mine. Oh, that's right. I love you and I want to bring everybody together to see they're getting screwed and robbed.

Okay, now are we on the same page with that? Yeah. Okay, now let's on the same page with that? Yeah. Okay, now let's talk. All right. I have a lot of videotape that if I wanted to go into the archive, I could send you where I pretty much alone in media was questioning the pharmaceutical industry and people like Monsanto. I was early part of the century with the show.

I know who I am. Yeah, so I'm not the guy to hit that hit with your Firm Monsanto, I was early part of the century with the show as well. Yeah, so I'm not the guy to hit that hit with the your Firm Monsanto. But what about the vaccine shit? And I've been way out on the limb on that one too. You were wrong. I don't know which, I don't know what your stance on vaccines is, so once you tell me yours

and I'll tell you mine and we'll see who's wrong. They're trying to fucking kill us They're trying to yeah, that's why they're giving us the vaccine. I don't think they're trying Well, it's much more complicated. They hate us. Who hates this the pharmaceutical industry? No actually the fucking crazy, a psychopath billionaire's. They hate the regular people. Okay, Bernie. So, but you're not one of the regular people. Look at you, you're a Southern bell. You're like an attendancy Williams play.

And you're the... I've always depended on the kindness of strangers. Right. Look, you could play that today. I kind of am. You could still be blessed to walk. I love that character. I'm writer. You know that nobody under like 50 knows who Tennessee Williams is. I know it's sad, huh? It is very sad. What about our age?

It's so horrible because... It's so horrible. The reference is, nobody gets the... I told my daughter and I was talking about Lenny Bruce and she goes, I swear to God, and I have to recreate it. Wait. Who's that? I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I was talking about Lenny Bruce and she goes, I swear to God, and I have to recreate it. Wait, who's that? How old is she? 34. 34.

Well, I must say Lenny Bruce was even before my time. Huh. What? Really? Yeah, definitely. 67. So Lenny Bruce died, I think in 1969, but I don't think it could have been 1966, something like that.

I think it was 1969. Okay, but I don't think he had been working. He had been working. No, he hadn't been working. He was not somebody as a kid. I would see on Ed Sullivan, you know, or, you know, Merv Griffin or something. So he was just this, but because I was a kid interested in comedy, he was, I knew he was a comedy god and I, you know, Lenny Bruce, and they talked about him like that other

comics. But when I actually went to listen, it reminded me that comedy does not really pass through the ages very well. It's, it's, oh, it does though. I just, it's, it's, oh, it does though. I just, it's, okay, not a lot of it. Not a lot of it. Okay, getting real real and let's have another swig so we can relax. I'm off of that sister. That's like my uncle Frank. Do my big daddy impression. Okay. big daddy impression. Okay. Okay. She says yes. Let's see. So how is, so what, now you live in what party, Texas? I live in the outside of what's it called? What's that fucking

town? Austin. Austin. A by an hour out of there. I was just there. How much do you love it there? percentage wise, I do like Austin. I do. Everybody likes Austin. Did you go to Joe's club? No, I did. I did his podcast. But then I had to do a show that night and I had to go to Dallas the next day.

So you should have went to the club. Well, they got Mitzies Room in there. He made a whole bar for Mitzies Room. Oh, I know, Mitzies Room. He's got Mitzies Room, the bar is called Mitzies Room. And there's a picture of Mitzie with a table. It's like Mitzies Spirit lives on there. And it's like everyone is trying new shit,

real offensive out there. Really, yeah, good. And I love it. And the audience is like eating it up, even though they're glued. Of course. They're blue voters, but they have both been minds.

And I'm saying my worst Democrat jokes and they're loving it. That's one reason I love places that are cities in red states, because you get a mix of both things and the country, I think, does need both things. Absolutely. So, you know, yeah, you go to Charlotte

or someplace like that and it's like, yeah, you're in North Carolina, but it's a very blue city, but it's not so blue that they got to stick up their ass. You know what I mean? I think one thing we both don't like is people with a stick up their ass. Okay, it's like blue mixed with red,

Kami equals purple. You know what I'm saying, Bill, with the hair and the whole thing. It's beyond blue. It's the next step towards Stalinist. Wait, what are we talking about? Well, I have to get my sigs. Where's my fucking cigarettes?

Did I forget my cigarettes? I have to go get sigs. Where's my fucking cigarettes? Did I forget my cigarettes? I have to go get my cigarettes. Okay, they're over there. I'll be right back. Yeah. We have cameras that will follow you all over the room. Oh good, I'm gonna take a leak too. A leak?

No, I'm kidding. I mean, if you have to, so you're moving pretty good for 70? Yeah, because I went to Joe Rogan's doctor and they hyped me up on all this testosterone. No. And it's changed my life. Are you serious? Are you fucking with me?

No, I am. Because I know Joe is a big proponent. I know. Of that. We had that discussion once on his show. And I, of the school school that I wouldn't do it because if you do have cancer cells in your body, it can accelerate their growth.

And we all do have some cancer cells, everything bad, we are. But cancer. Yeah. She says that she likes the dicker it, yes. Don't underscore my jokes. You're right. You're right. But you got it at least half of my life.

Nobody gets what I'm saying. If it's a joke or serious or what? Really? Your boyfriend doesn't get you. Of course, how could you be with him for that long? If he didn't love every joke you make. I mean, he's got to be 70%. I guess that's all you get expect from a man.

It's the most I've ever had for many guys. 70%? Yeah. Yeah, but my son's. I'll take 70. Look, my son's though, they get 90. 90? Yeah, they get my shit 90%.

No. You know who else gets my shit? 90% he even gets it 98% who who Tony Hentch Cliff that fucker who the comedy assassin I call it Tony Tony Hentch Cliff don't know that does that that podcast kill Tony oh I don't know so fun Bill you got to watch that I will he brings on new comics which is why I like it because it's mitsy like, you know, these people come up and they audition for one minute.

They got their fresh, you know, like we used to do for five. And so, and then we get a judge him. Ha ha ha. You know, and he roasts him like a, got like they put him on a spittle and he just likes to see the fat drip off of, you know, but then I don't want to do that because I'm so rich Pinkal Emerson famous it wouldn't right wouldn't be right So I just tried to

Encourage him and you know say what I think they could correct because that's more motherly right? so But it's a fucking blast, and you should be on there as a judge. Well, now that I got the, you got to- It's the number one podcast behind Rogan. Well, I mean, I'm glad you're edifying me on all this.

I know you've got to get hip or bill. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Thank you. Our whole generation is all fucked up and crazy and lazy. Which one? R's? We're all fundamentally deranged. We're not nearly as mentally deranged or as lazy as the kids. That's true. Okay. That's very real.

Okay. That's very rare. They're deranged. They're fucking beyond deranged. Well, they don't take care of their kids and that pisses me off We're two generations into the rot really in society because they just it's not the kids fold They were just raised wrong everybody raises their kids a little wronger Then you get to this where there's like, talk about this, just no boundaries. No.

It's all fucking bitterness and recrimination. There's no fucking forgiveness, no matter how much money you give the bastards. That's what I found. With kids, your kids. Yeah, they never will forgive me. Ever, no matter what, I buy in my fucking house They don't forgive me for what for the fucking years of fame that I put them through

That's what they say really yeah, they're all webtards my daughters are all webtards But thank God I have two sons that are patriots of this country I remember when you were a socialist. I still am. That's what's so funny. I remember when the A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A.B.A. You think I would remember a thing like that. Right, like the A, B, area there. The A, B, area, yeah, the zoo in the back. With the monkeys.

Yeah, one of the people. Drunken all fucked up. You called me something and I called you something. You remember that? I don't, I don't, but I'm not denying it. In fact, I love that it happened. Yeah. I love that I got into a fish fight with

the brother saying, I sucked you right in the jaw. You hit me back. No, I always hit men first to see him. I didn't hit you back. Yeah, you did. No wonder, I don't. No wonder I don't remember this. No, shit, you blocked it out, MK Ultra. Who's that? That's the mind control program you're under bill. MK Ultra? Yeah MK Ultra mind control. Are you kidding me now? Do you really think I'm under a mind control? I do. Is there a conspiracy theory? You don't believe. No, I'm telling you. I tell the truth. Everything I say people like you's always laughing at me. And then it comes true and you never go, I'm sorry I made fun of say, people like you is always laughing at me. And then it comes true. And you never go, I'm sorry, I make funny you Rose,

and you was right. You're welcome, you never say that, Bill. Because, names, you're not always right. I am so. You have some, I mean, I don't know. Well, you, by your own admission, remember, you, you're gonna say I'm mentally ill. What did I say? I am. Well, you, by your own admission, remember, you... You're gonna say I'm mentally ill. Which I say I am.

Well, then why are we having this discussion? Because you have to listen to the mentally ill as the Zohar says. Well, that's a circular argument. As the Zohar says, in these days, the Zohar, the Holy Jewel... Who's that? The Holy Jewel. Is that the thing in big where he goes and makes you? Yeah, but in reality... Really, you believe in that? The Holy Jewish. It's not the thing in big where he goes and makes me. Yeah, but in reality.

Really, you believe in that? I believe in it. Of course, I've read it. You should read it. The thing in the movie, big? Sort of. All of it, but they make it a cult and they put it in their moves. A cult.

Because they're Satan worshipers. So are it cults? No, they're Satan worshipers from Babylon. They're the reptiles. Long Island? No, they're the reptile right, cult. No, they're Satan worshipers from Babylon. They're the reptiles. Long Island? No, they're the reptile people, Bill. Oh, the lizard people. Yeah, the reptiles.

Yes, I know that QAnon, especially believes that there are a lot of the world's elite. Queen Elizabeth was a lizard person, George Bush. George W. Bush was a lizard person, George Bush. George W. Bush was a, there are people who are, you know, they normally, when we see them, they're out there in a suit and tie and they're speaking. No, it's not that. They're actually lizard. They're actually, and once in a while you catch them a blurry photograph of someone and you just, you know, the, he, I don't believe all that. Oh, no, but I believe that something affects you after thousands of years of inbreeding.

Well, I don't think you could endure thousands of years. Well, you know how they used to make a king in the old world, you know, the world of Pharaohs. Egypt. Yeah, Egypt and before Egypt. It used to come from a brother and a sister, maybe how you make a royal prince or a king. Yes.

The pharaohs were victims of inbreeding, that is true. Yeah, right. So it went on for hundreds of centuries. Right. So that DNA thing is different from other humans except the juice which also inbreed. Now I'm kidding. And so do people in Kentucky. That was my joke. But no, the pharaohs and that line, they're really super in bread with their DNA. Yes, they work.

That's true. And of course, drives you mad and makes you, like, have a shittier immune system, you know, a more susceptible and a whole other... Encyclopathology, I think. Yes, right. Because they think they can, like, decide how many millions of people will die next year and the stocks will go up.

That's why I think people are generally attracted to people who don't look like them. I know that's true in my case. I mean, I'm Irish, fair skinned. That's like the one type I don't like. I'm like, yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? And I think that's because my DNA is saying, you know, mate with this one because the less likely the kids will come out. Like you.

You still got it. You still got it. I'm loving that I still got it. You still got it. And I'm going on stage there and you know, it's so fun. I love it. You got a lot of nutty ideas, but you're not nuts. I know that sounds like a distinction with that difference, but I swear to God, it's meaningful. I find it very ironic that you raise nuts. Yeah.

And Hawaii, Maccadamian, that's the perfect protein of the world. Of all the things to pick. Because it's the perfect protein for the world. Why nuts? Because it could solve world hunger in 10 minutes. What? You know, I think deeply about these things, Bill, they're not a joke to me. What is it about nuts that spoke to you when you were thinking about raising something?

Okay, I'm telling you, for all, listen up. Listen up here. Yes. Because of the macadamie, I bought it. I bought my farm side unseen. Because it was a farm that had several thousand macadamie and that trees. And I was intrigued once I read that,

well, because my sense kind of, it all goes back to my son having severe learning at disabilities and that at a school in Hawaii. So I sent him there, so I bought a farm so I could live by my son, that's where it comes from. Okay, so I thought, well, I'm gonna do something useful to the world. So Maccadamian, that's thought, well, I'm going to do something useful to the world.

So, macadamia nuts, I researched them, so it was perfect protein for the human. And it's so easy to grow, and it is rich in all the right fats for brain, you know, develop your brain and to fuel your body. And like, you know, all the good stuff, all the good fats, all the good proteins, and very low in carbohydrates, high in energy. And, you know, I just got intrigued by, man, this could feed the world. I got really mature, mystical for it.

How many trees do you have? 5,000. 5,000. And how many people do you take to 10 to 5,000 trees? Well, see, that's the problem. It's just you. Yeah. Me and like 4,000 wild pigs that I have to like, you know, I have to shoot them because they're attacking me.

So I had to become a huntress. Wait, what are you joking? No, I'm not joking. What are you doing my 4,000 pigs? Well, because it's overrun by wild pigs. Because of the nut trees, because I can't harvest them, because they're so labor intensive.

You can't keep animals out with offense. I've got offense. It goes under the ground. The pigs are so smart. You know, I call them the uniparty, the Republicans. That's what they are. They'll go, if you think you're going to keep them out with offense, electric fence that goes under the earth,

you're not. They want what you have. Okay. Boy, it's like they're big. Yeah. But what, so they tunnel under the fence? Oh, they'll do anything. I thought there's one big.

But specifically. She knew she couldn't get through. They're so fucking smart. Okay, but you say. No, wait, let me tell you that they're so fucking they're smarter than humans. Listen. They're smarter than humans.

I've seen this one big old pig bitch. She couldn't get into what I have. She's got 9,000 fucking acres around her. But she's got to come where I am where she ain't wanted. It's because she's a repiglican. A sal, right? Yeah. So she puts her little tiny baby through the hole in my fence.

She squishes him through, pushes them through. So he can anchor baby. Kind of like that. And I see him pushing their babies to the fence and I am overrun by wild pigs. And you say there's 4,000? There's so many fucking hundreds of me, every time I come home and go up my driveway

There's more of them and they're looking at me too. First I used to scatter But how do you but now they stand there going what are you looking at but who counted them? Me I got a Thousand I mean I want to know how you actually count Four thousand wild pigs in a forest by yourself. That does seem like it's a, that you probably didn't do that. I'm estimating. Yeah, it was like I'm purping Jack Benny. I'm estimating.

How great was that guy? Also before my time, but I. Oh, my time too, but I did get to see him on TV. But that's the thing, when you're a aspiring comic as a kid, you are one of the students of the past ones too. Okay, let's get to the real deal. Let's cut to the chase here, because I really was a-

Cosby, I think he did it. Oh, no, no, I was what I talk about him. Cosby, okay, wanting to talk about him. Cosbyl, okay, let's talk about him. But okay, wait, I don't even know about what he and that taking that off the table, they did taking what all that shit off the table. Yeah. They did violate his civil rights because he signed that paper saying, I will only test a part to the truth. That's why if I am not prosecuting that's why you got. If I am not prosecuted, then they agreed. That's why they overturned the show

because they came back on him after they agreed. They've never been in a company, so they violated him. Okay, but what they did is they fucked up the procedures. Right. And that counts. That's our system. And he did serve three years. Yeah. By the strict rule of the law,

he shouldn't have served anytime, because you're right. That's right. But, you know, can we call it poetic justice? Because he certainly deserved to serve probably more than three years, considering. I mean, I was willing to let the first 50 go. But what it got to either that, I was like, hey, I'm saying a pattern here.

Maybe this guy did do something. 50 go. But what it got out of the net, I was like, hey, I'm seeing a pattern here. Maybe this guy did do something. Yeah, it is amazing the way he was enabled through decades. Well, just the transcripts of the trial that he admitted to are horrible. But the crimes that you can perform almost in broad daylight Not almost Christ, you know, it's like saying the emperors naked and that used to shock people now it's like he's Not happy enough to be naked in the streets and not Anybody say nothing

But now he like wants to walk down the street and just bend over and put his butt right up in our face. And we're not supposed to say nothing. Well, I don't think we're not supposed to say nothing. You know, I don't know why you have to, you seem to want to always pick a fight where I feel like because they tried to destroy me. Who's there? Oh, you talking about the networks? Yeah. Hey, I know. I know you.

I always felt for you. I mean, for people who don't remember it too young, Rosanne was the biggest thing that was a rarely seen kind of comment that crosses the show business guy like when she first went on the tonight show It was now this is sound like a jack bany it was the biggest like reaction We had not seen anything like this hit a nerve. What are we gonna call it then the biggest sitcom and then comes back What is it 20 years later 10 years later something with money the

reboot of the sitcom Ghosts, the number one again. Try that, bitches. And then you tweeted something that I don't even know if you thought it was racist. It certainly was. It was not. Well, okay, well, I thought the bitch was white. I know.

That's what you thought, but that doesn't mean it isn't racist because obviously... She looks just like the fucking picture. You're not gonna get yourself out of this by reiterating that. And everybody's in power gotta be made fun of. That's true. Mark, mark, mark, mark, mark.

Fuck you, if you can't take a joke, fuck you, you fascist. That's how I feel, Bill. And you know what? I don't give a fuck you, you faches. That's how I feel, Bill. And you know what? I don't give a fuck what color your ass is. If you ain't doing right for your own people or anybody's people in this country where people are sleeping in the streets

and it makes me fucking sick, then fuck you. I don't give a fuck about your feelings. You are offensive to me. You better take care of the people who live in a din in these streets. Fuck off. I'm so sorry, but it just came out. No, I'm glad. That's what I want. I want it to come out. It's what old friends do when they get together.

You can either have a blow, blow, boring, like, you know, chit-chat, small talk conversation, or you can, like, you know, chit-chat, small talk conversation, or you can like, let it out and I'm trying to tell you, like, I get what you're coming from. I also... I don't know how to do it. I was in just say it. Balls than anybody.

I, that's because I'm a trans man. And people don't know that. Well, I am now. No, you're not. You're not a man. You were never a man. We knew you from, you were a child star. You were on the Disney Channel.

You were a little rosy. Remember, little rosy. I remember the character you did. You were really a witch, I think, of some kind, but a good witch from another planet. And somehow, they implanted all these crazy ideas in your brain. And caught to...

It looks like they really did. Oh, my God. You know what really happened, though? But you need to be a little more sensitive to people who... I get it. I face the same frustrations I want to set the captives free. Who's the captives? The fucking people at believe anything that comes across the TV But what you're on TV

except me Help me it's true They all help me, it's true. I'm here to tell you about Dr. Squatch. The traditional soaps just aren't cutting anymore, all full things at chemicals that are awful for you and your skin. Plus the scent is so aggressive. My point is Dr. Squatch is all natural and the scents are incredibly pleasant. Dr. Squatch is different than traditional soaps.

They use high-performance natural products, have no harmful ingredients, and have you looking and smelling your best. This is the perfect holiday gift, stocking stuff or a treat yourself purchase. Right now buy three soaps and get three soaps for free. That's $28 in savings, making each bar just four bucks. Offer valid for new customers only and free shipping is included. Right now, Dr. Squatch is offering our listeners huge savings.

All new customers will get three free bar soaps plus free shipping with any purchase of three bars. Just go to DrSquatch.com slash random to receive this by three get three offer. That's DrSquatch.com slash random to buy three soaps and get three free. It's time to get all the daily routine essentials you'll need to start feeling good and smelling like a new man today. Club random is brought to you by the Stash Monkey. Stash Monkey is a patented airtight and

odor resistant box that's practically the fort knocks of your personal belongings. We're talking prescription medications, recreational goodies, and anything else you'd rather keep away from prying eyes and curious noses. The dual smellproof, high-grade silicone seal lid includes a resettable combination lock to secure your items, allowing you to take it with you anywhere. Stash monkey keeps your items fresh, neutral and moisture free because it's water resistant. Stash Monkey's crafted of the highest quality materials designed to withstand daily use, making it a reliable storage companion for years to come.

It's also easy to clean and it's dishwasher safe. I got a stash monkey myself and can safely say I feel assured that when I'm away, my dogs won't be partying without me. Save up to 30% off stash monkey with this exclusive offer. Go to stashmonkey.com and use the code monkey. That's stashmonkey.com or text the word monkey to 511-511 to save up to 30% off your order plus receive free shipping.

Text monkey to 511-511 and place your order today and receive your stash monkeys in time for the holidays. Remember to text Monkey to 511-511 today. Terms, conditions, message, and data rates may apply. Club Random is brought to you by the audio marketing gurus at Radioactive Media. Okay, if you're in charge of a nationwide company, it's time for you to step up your game. Time to try something groundbreaking that will get noticed by utilizing new platforms

to acquire customers and partner with shows like mine. You could enjoy lower CPMs, elevating your brand in a space away from your competitors. Generate up to nine times more leads by combining the power of audio and video channels with text messaging and generate an ROI as high as 5, 6, or 7-to-1. Radioactive Media can create campaigns airing nationally on podcasts, terrestrial, satellite and streaming radio.

Club Random has been partnering with Radioactive media since the beginning with clients such as Signalwire, heat holders, wide enthusiasts, and more, and they can create a customizable campaign for your company's needs. Radioactive believes so much in the power of audio marketing, they put their money where their mouths are by using it themselves, right here, right now. Their radioactive media exclusive Cyberweek deal was was such a huge success they were extending it through December 15th. Make sure you don't miss out on this exclusive CyberWeek deal. Go to radioactivemedia.com or text random to 511-511 text random to 511-511 today.

Terms, conditions, message and data rates may apply. Let's face it after a night of drinking you don't bounce back the next day like you used to. You have to make a choice. You can either have a great night or a great next day. That is until I tell you about Z-biotics. If you're committed to your healthy routine this year, you need Z-biotics. Z-biotics pre-alcohol probiotic is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic.

It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. You know because those guys party like rock stars. These wild men told me that when you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It's this byproduct, not dehydration that's to blame for your rough next day. And Z-Biotics produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. It's designed to work like your liver, but in your gut, where you need it most. Just remember to drink Zbiotics before drinking alcohol. Drink responsibly and get a good night's sleep to feel your best tomorrow.

Go to zbiotics.com slash random to get 15% off your first order when you use random at checkout. You can also sign up for a subscription using my code so you can stay prepared no matter the time or occasion. ZBiotics is backed with a 100% money back guarantee, so if you're unsatisfied for any reason, they'll refund your money. No questions asked. Remember to head to zbiotics.com slash random and use the code random at checkout for 15% off. Thank you, Zbiotics for sponsoring this episode. You were reminding me of a really warm, wonderful memory, which is you doing politically incorrect,

which when you were the biggest star in television, and I had a little show that was getting point two rating And you came into the show. I think with Tom. I think he did it together Yeah, and like the point in that show was like everybody should get a voice I you know, I mean even when you're not a I think you should be heard like I don't believe in any sort of I mean, even when you're not a, I think you should be heard. Like, I don't believe in any sort of circumcision of free speech. Oh, what a great, that is a great word. Oh my God, circumcision of free speech.

Yeah, I didn't really mean it. I was just... I think we have to remember that, well, Americans like after 9-1-1, you know Bill. 9-11, you mean? Huh? You're called at 9-1-1. Oh. Well, it's an emergency. I know, but we did at the break.

How can there are a like? I remember at the beginning, people were calling it 9-1-1. Yeah. But then it became 9-11 and has been that way for like 21 years. But you know, better late than ever. 9-11. I hate saying it. Oh, it's just awful memory, but.

Oh yeah. But I remember I didn't find out about it till 911-2. But that's a weird one, it's true. Why? Why, Gracie? It is like that. Why not? Why not? I just had George Burns, I got this a go. Why, Gracie? It is like that. Why, yeah. I just remind you. I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I, it's like this thing.

Another comedy icon who were before my time, but I still knew. So brilliant. I remember when I was a kid. I should talk about her how fucking genius that woman was. Gracie Allen? Yeah. Well, it is true. Again, I didn't actually seem, I knew what the act was.

She was the dumb blonde. It wasn't really dumb. You know, it always has to work out where the man looks like the asshole. It does have to work out, but I tried to change that paradigm because I didn't want. You did. I didn't want Dan to look that way. You brought real truth. Both in the stand-up and in the sitcom, to domestic American life. You also, I tell this every time, I tried. Every time people bring up that movie Dolores Clayborn, I always say, I remember this very clearly.

Rosanne was the first person to talk about how common child harass wrestling is, whatever, what's the right word, whatever. Yes. Yes, you know, and which is what that movie is about. And I remember so clearly at the time, the reaction was she's exaggerating, I'll come on. I was skeptical myself. I don't think I was like, oh, resentful of it. I was like, oh'll come on. I was skeptical myself. I don't think I was like, oh, Resence,

full of it. I was like, oh, I didn't, I did not know that. You were the one who like really put that out there and said, no, it's not a weird or rare thing. It's like, it's all through the culture. I guess it's been through every culture. It's amazing how horrible humans are that they can fuck children. Oh, they do worse than that.

Murder I guess is worse. I'm gonna. Oh, look at this. Oh, you got a thing. Yeah, good. No one had this. Oh, that got a thing, yeah, good. No one had this all along. Oh, that's nice. I'm like Dorothy, but just remembered

she could go home at any time. It is like that. I played the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz on Broadway, you know. Typecasting. Oh, my God, was it fun, no. Oh, yeah, it was time. The villain is always the fun. Oh, it was so fun. The villain is always the fun.

Oh, it was so fun. I got to fly on them fly things. Oh, right. Yeah, it was so awesome. I don't know what year was this? Oh, one of those years. Right. I got to run for president too, weird.

I wanted to talk to you about that. But anyway, we'll go back. That's a whole other subject. Why don't you raise pot instead of nuts? Well, I tried but they won't fucking legalize this shit. Oh, you're in Texas. Yeah, neither Texas nor Hawaii will legalize me to sell my... Not Hawaii? No, they won't do it neither. Come on. Uh-uh, they won't. Wow. And it's a socialist state, and they won't do it. I'm surprised to hear you admit that.

Say that's the thing. Your politics are so all over the map. One foot in blue, one foot in red. I know, but what is that addout? That straddle in the vast metal bitch. Well, okay. I would concur with you that we need both sides. We need the vast middle.

We need the vast middle, correct? How did they marginalize the vast middle? That's what I ask myself every day. But some of the things you say are not representative of the vast middle. No, I know, because I'm fighting on another level. Another level? I'm fighting up here in the penthouse of thought

where wars are won and lost. I mean, people get at the truth through different means. I mean, some people are out with it. I think you and I are in that category generally, and we pay a big price for it sometimes. I mean, you know, people do not like to hear truth. They really don't. They say they do.

They like it in theory. Well, I say they like it after if they really don't. They say they do, they like it in theory. Well, I say they like it after the guy that told the truth has been tortured and murdered and stripped of his skin after 2,000 years then they think he's cool. Well, we could be a little rosier about it than that can do.

But I mean, they only like him 2,000 years after they've died a tortuous death that they put him through. You know, it's just gross how people think. I consider myself a realist, but you know, when a tip's into that darkness, I don't know if that's realism either. Of course it is. We live in a fucking dark world ruled by Satan. You don't live in a dark world.

You live in Hawaii and Texas. I don't, but the most of the world lives, I mean, and myself. I'm forced to live in a sphere where it's controlled by Satan the snake. Wait, a sphere that is ruled by Satanists. Yes. Who are the Satanists? Well, they're all over the place, but they don't know that they're doing it. Like who? Like name somebody. You know, just anybody. I don't know. I don't know. He's a George Bush. Jeff Goldblum. I don't know what level were there. Are they everywhere? The bank? Who are the Satanists? At the very top sits the Bank of International settlements in Bern, Switzerland. The Bank of International settlements. I've got my savings account with them.

Ah! Oh no! I mean, it's only $142,000, but still, they in trouble of some kind? Are they caught at being an international cabal? Well, they were actually caught at that in 2008 with the HSBC bank hack. Well, the whole world economy collapsed in 2008.

That's correct. They weren't the only ones. How smart you are to have noticed that about 2008. Let's clink a fucking glass on that. Okay, it's common knowledge, but thank you. But I didn't know you had that common knowledge. Well, yeah, I host a show about the news. It was kind of like the biggest story of that year. But okay, um, well, I don't remember every God blessed thing you utter. Well, I'm

completely, I'm consumed with myself as you are. Are you still into Kabbalah? I know you're into Kabbalah. I'm into the Zohar, that thing you know nothing about. Well, I love big. He could not have gone back to childhood if he wasn't with the Zohar. If you saw it, it would blow your mind. It tells us about the karma of ants.

And anyway, that's the key. The karma of ants, it's just, it is a little ethereal. It's like, it begs for like a Woody Allen joke. It kind of does. The karma of ants, but does it affect alternate side of the street parking? It's my question.

Jocks are the greatest, the best. The greatest thing to save humanity. street parking is my question. Jokes are the greatest, the best, the greatest thing to save humanity. That's why I just love the effect of common. They will not save humanity. But I know I agree. We're down for well, I mean, I remember when ISIS was riding high, you remember after the Iraq war was over, I guess it was Obama into Trump. Mostly Obama, second term I guess, when ISIS was kind of like took over a caliphate, which, you know, people were crazy, thought Glenn Beck, who is crazy, said they're looking to start

at caliphate, and then they did, which, you know, Glenn Beck, I still think is crazy. But like, when he's right about one, give him the credit. He did say that. And they won't do that. That's what's so important. The greatest quote, even a broken clock, is right twice a day. Well, I don't think it was...

I would give him a little more credit than that. He seemed to study that subject quite well. I understand him completely because he is LDS and I was raised in Salt Lake City, a monk, the LDS. And I totally understand what he's saying. And much of what he's saying is, you know, I know that they'll forgive me for saying,

but that is because of the deep teachings of the Zohar, which the Mormon Church does teach as the pearl of great price. So you were both raised a Mormon. And a Jew. Orthodox Jew and Mormon at the same time. Okay. So you raised a Mormon and a Jew and also took a hood ornament right through the skull. Which do you think fucked up your thinking more? That's enough for you, young lady, you're cut off. All right.

Father. Yes, which fucked up you're thinking more? Well, I wouldn't call it fucked up my thinking. I know, I was just teasing. No, but I understand from your world, which we call the singleton world. The singleton world. Yeah, that's our language. Singleton, meaning I'm not married. Meaning you have only one personality. I do. Or everybody that you know of. Everybody or just me.

Just you. Just me. Yeah. Everybody else has more. Well, I don't know, but you do speak the language of someone who isn't like severely divided. Although sometimes I think you might be severely divided. Because here's a test I always ask people. Take this test to see if you might be severely divided. Do you often say one thing and then do another? Never. That's cool. It's so easy not to. Maybe I did when I was younger and dumber.

I'm sure I did. But it's a very easy once you mature adult and you know your capabilities and so forth. I never understand people who do that, who like promise something that they know they're not gonna deliver on. Can't you foresee ahead two days or two weeks when you know, right? It's like, why, you would never like tell a girl, or I have a big dick if you didn't,

because at some point, then you're gonna like, hey, you said you know what I know, I was what I said to get you in bed, but now I'm embedded in you see, I know what a terrible strategy that would be. You know, but people don't all the time. But people set themselves up for humiliation on purpose. I'll give you a perfect example.

Twice, I said. Has there fucked up? Listen to this, twice, I stated five star hotel. I won't say which hotels they are, but you know. Five-star we'd get it. Anyway, I'm not going to say the name, but it rhymes with more reasons not to stay there again, because of the way I do, Iave, but not that particular branch. So, like, most people, I guess, are in a hotel they get out their business people,

they go out and they do their shit. So, they're out of the hotel at nine in the morning or whatever. I'm a comedian, I'm a sleep at noon. This construction going on. I know. Have you ever had that happen? Of course I always.

Banging and, and I'm like, I called down. And this is the point I'm talking about. We're like, why do people just not tell you the truth right away? And I'm like, hello, what the fuck? I'm trying to sleep. I paid for this room. It's the four seasons or whatever hotel it was.

I mean, the more reasons. And they say, I'm so sorry, Mr. Moore, but we'll stop it. And they have no intention of stopping it. It's costing them whatever $50,000 a day or something. And it just goes on and you go back, I'm so sorry. And they're just like, you got to be fucking kidding. And then you go down to the lobby and you say, what the fuck, you keep telling me,

and some guy comes out and says, yeah, we can't stop. It's like, why didn't you tell me that right away? And you know, switch my room. Crazy. That's why I never say a hotel anymore. That's why I would stay. Well, I just stayed at my own damn farm.

But you're in LA. Oh, I mean, when I'm over at the islands. Like, where are you staying now? Huh? Where are you staying now? I have no idea. Yes, you do. What are you doing? Well, I do have a place out of LA. And you're a place in LA.

Yeah. So you're just one of the common people. How many other houses? Well, I live in a lovely neighborhood. No, I do live in a lovely neighborhood now I do live in lovely neighborhood that is You know a nice neighborhood I'm glad you were able to hang on to enough loot to have a bunch of fucking houses around the world because you know I think if you was like all wealth comes from land. You're like the share of comedy like the share of comedy. Ah!

What? What? Wow, it's like the alarm in prison where they have to all get on the ground. Hit the neck, boys. You get a shot with a rubber bullet. No, but you're very iconic. And you know, you.

I just started to do what I just started to put my... They can't get you down. Money where my mouth is or fuck it right? I just can't talk bullshit No, I know you know I know down to send me straight to hell where the serpent rule rule my soul I don't want to give into the serpent. I you know That's what the Bible says, but they they got it all MP alternates that women can't know what the Bible really says, Bill. Oh, God. I mean, there's so much to, I got just too exhausted to go back

and pick apart the crazy all the way back to the first crazy, but it's something about the serpent. I don't think, I don't, I think the first part of what you said has merit, but I don't think we need to attribute this to the serpent. And by serpent. I'm going back to Genesis.

Do you really believe in a serpent? Do you believe in the Bible? Like literally, are you a Bible person? I'm a Torah person. Deal with that. I just want to see your face when I tell you this. I know, for folks who don't know the Bible, Torah is the first five books of the Bible.

You know, the five books of Moses. The big ones. Genesis, Exodus, you know, all the big stuff happens. The earth is created. Garden of Eden. Going out for me, Jim. Yes, of course. That's a big one going out for a library. Yes, Exodusing's library.

Yeah. I mean, the Bible is just such a silly. Exit-ess does movement of Ja' people. You know, it's just a book full of horrible morality. I know. Pointless violence. It's just as a moral guide. It is this.

But that's how they were. That's how they were exactly. Yeah. But the idea that people today take it seriously and emulate that, that's what's... They should do that same shit. No, I don't think they should take almost any more. Well, they think they should follow along with the story that's supposed to be teaching of something, but they don't get the teaching of it. No, they do teach parables with their just horrible lessons. story that's supposed to be teaching them something, but they don't get the teaching of it.

No, they do teach parables, but they're just horrible lessons. They're like, you know, Jacob pimped out his daughter to the king of Shlumazar so that he would curry political favor, and then the daughter was raped until they, you know, burned down the whole village. It's just never, it's never some good lesson. It's terrible.

It's just. Check it out though. That's how they were. That's how, exactly. I'm just saying that they. That's how they were. Exactly. The problem is that they encoded that into a moral guide, quote unquote, and it's the

last thing you would want as a moral guide. But it leads up to something. What? It leads to, well, if you do the total Jewish Gamatria of Torah, okay. Gamatria, yeah. No, no, no, that word. I know you don't, but who cares?

You don't need to. I like. You're perfect how you are. I like learning. That's cool, but you are perfect how you are. I like learning. That's cool, but you are perfect how you are. I feel like the older I get, the more I approach on a daily or weekly or yearly basis, being approach, not being, but approach being 100%

of who I want to be at that moment, like accepting when I can't change and changing that old thing, changing what I have the power to change, making the right decisions, not stupid decisions, treating people the right way. That takes decades. And I just feel the needle does move toward a hundred, but of course you'd never get there. I mean, I'm, I'm, these people who say in interviews, I have no regrets, I have regrets

every day. There's not a day that goes by where you're like, I did everything just perfectly, even if it's something trivial. So, you know, you just do less and less as you get older. It's the compensating factor that we have for being this age, because we're not as cuties we used to be. Well, I was never cute.

You sure were. No, nobody ever wanted to walk me. You know what, you're actually grew into your age great. No, nobody ever wanted to walk me in Hollywood. And now I think God that that was correct. You just have to look every age. Look, if I had had to get to the very tippy top of Hollywood by blowing my way to the top, I would have the worst shame ever, but I never had to do that.

Right. You just did it for fun. I just did it for free. Because you're asosialist. Now it all leads to this. It's all going to be so great in the future. What is? Everything.

It is though. I said this at Y2K, which they're trying to obscure all notions of Y2K, but I was right about Y2K and what was going to happen and nobody listened to me including you. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. Is that what you said all along? They inserted the all between the one and the one. If all coders know this, there was a one in a one and everybody was obsessed that one the Century turned What was gonna happen? Well what did indeed happen as they added a zero between the one and the one and all the banks crashed Just like everybody said was gonna happen at why to things didn't crash? Oh, yes

They did and they crashed again in 2008. They crashed in 2008. They didn't crash in 2000. Why, to pay? Oh, yes, they did. Okay. But they tried to prevent it. Well, they tried to prevent it

by destroying evidence. I mean, I remember losing money in the year 2000, but it was because. Yeah, you did. Yeah, because I fell for, again, better to be older and wiser in some ways. I fell for the idea of the internet, which was kind of new, was going to be this rocket of economic superstardom. And invested in a bunch of you know, tube socks.com

Who's not gonna want to get their tube socks? And of course, we now have a company that everybody gets their tube socks from and everything else. But yeah, there was a dot com bubble burst around 2000. It had nothing to do with any of this. It did have to do with Y2K. It did not. Yes, it did economically. in the world of economics, they definitely did.

You said, I mean, I remember reading it, but I said, then they started jacking up the prices. You have. Check it out. They jacked at the prices. Personalities. And every one of them is a mathematical genius.

So kids are asked. But it's still seven or did you have to lay a few off because the pandemic? Three of them are working from home now. Okay. There's only one now. Really? Yeah. Are you one meds? Hell's yes.

Really? Fuck yeah. I remember the pilot. Anyone meds? Hells, yes. Oh, really? Fuck yeah. I remember the pilot of your... The question is, have you never been on meds? That's the question you should ask. I remember the reboot, the pilot of the reboot of your show. You, the first scene, you and Goodman are trading your pills. You can't afford to have all the pills you need.

Yeah. That is your genius. Yeah, I wrote it up. And encapsulating a blue collar concern in a way that people... Oh, they hate the blue collars. Yeah, but you, that's the nerve you hit and you hadn't, when I saw that scene, I was like, Oh, they don't have that on on that one. Well... No, they know what they're doing.

What do you think of this guy who's saying, Richmond, North of Richmond? I sent him an email, I want to interview you. And here's what comes back. This can't be real. He probably, he's probably a big fan. And as somebody else's name, but not his. And so I sent back, but it is real. Right. And then I said, are you a publicist? And I haven't heard back. You know, publicists are the most evil people on earth.

You know that Bill. What I know is that they are of the snake. God Henley, Malian, put him in the rock and roll of fame with the Eagles. He was talking about Herbing A's off his their long time manager and now Mogen and he said, people in the industry think of him as Satan, but he's our Satan. And that's what you want in your publicist. You want Satan on your side. So, you know, it's...

That's how could Azov plan over there in the Ukraine, the Azovs and what... That's very different. That sounds like Fox News stuff. It's true, the same name. I feel... That ain't Fox News shit. Irving Azov, the mogul manager, has nothing to do with Azov's plan. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named.

I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named.

I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named.

I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. I feel like I'm named. You don't have what you don't have is old energy, which is good. You don't have young energy. That's what it's not. Yes, people can see that we're not 25 anymore, but it's like the way you conduct yourself, you know, at a certain point, like Biden is a perfect example of the other part of this.

Biden? Do I think he can do the job as president? Yes, because government is done in small rooms making quiet decisions. Do I think he's up to running now? Because there is the perception because he just looks and moves and stumbles verbally. And so it's just, there is an oldness that he cannot escape. It is a monster that is chasing him, perception is reality.

He has to step aside. I think it gets Jim Carrey in a mask playing him. Jim Carrey did play him on Saturday Night Live for a season. I know, but like going up the stairs and following that many times, only Jim Carrey could do that so brilliantly. There, it's funny you say that because I've said this before about Jim. Like, most parts, you know, they have a list of people who can play this and it's like,

yeah, they get the first guy they want, but they know sometimes the second guy, this, the Hollywood has full of stories of stories who turned down a part which turned out to be a hit movie for, oh, Ryan O'Neill and Bert Reynolds could have had it, but he didn't. Like Claus Schwab used to be Colonel Klingk on Hogan T-Rose. Brilliant casting. I mean, you know, he- You don't remember Hogan T-Rose. Oh, of course I do.

I loved Hogan T-Rose. Remember Colonel Klingk? Of course, Werner Klemper. He was the son of Otto Clempner, a great German composer, or a nice song. Oh, not him. I'm talking about the fat Baldwin. That's Sergeant Schultz.

Yeah, that one. That's Klaus Schwab. John Banner as Sergeant Schultz is Klaus Schwab. In real life? Yeah. So who's Klaus Schwab? The head of head of the W E F. What's that? Google it. Is that the bank? That controls everything W E F thing. What's the name of that? All the Bank of International Settlements and Burned Swits are live. So the Bank of international settlements. That's where all wars are decided.

They meet there, but it's not the swit, it can't be the swiss themselves. They're not secretly running the world. The bank, I get is there. But everybody uses swiss banks who wants to keep there. Although in recent years, they've eroded a lot of those privacy laws with Switzerland. I mean, it's not quite as in the vault as it used to be. Yeah, it's called the Bank of International Settlements.

And it's the central bank of all central banks. Trace me through how they get to make the decision, is it about what they're, they finance certain armaments that are, that are then it's too lucrative to not fight a war with these armaments? Is then it's too lucrative to not fight a war with these armaments is that kind of thing? Because how does the bank control the war? Well banks control all the wars. How? Well, they finance all the wars. I'll concede this. They go and they sell their job is to stir up wars and arm both sides for profit.

Okay. There's a book. Check it out. It's on the internet. There's a book. They make money from wars. Period. Yes.

Haliburton, yes. We understand people do them. I mean, and during World War II, they prosecuted war profiteers. I mean, it was not something that went unpunished. There's a very famous play called All My Sons. Do you know that play? The movie with very famous movie, Black and White,

Edgerton Robinson. He's a maker of planes and he makes planes and scripts on the bolts a little bit and people go down because the wing doesn't work right and one of them is his son who's in the war. Oh, God, what a parent. And that's the title. They were all my sons. Oh, well. So that was very much on the minds of people by saying, not cool war profiteering.

That went away as corporations and more on the page with this, you know, the Pentagon, Eisenhower had it right. Military and dust-real complex. It's just something that never, it's the one thing the Republicans and Democrats always agree on is that the Pentagon needs more money, which really means defense contractors, which is different than defense. And the budget of the Pentagon is like the Virgin Mary. It is sacred, it is immaculate, it cannot be touched, and it just goes up and up.

But no accountability. With very little accountability, yes, they do. Like charge of $15,000 for a screwdriver. But that's part of just a kind of corrupt, greasy end of the empire system that happens in countries. It's not like a deliberate conspiracy. It just happens when people slowly evolve getting lazier and greedier. There's a book called, I can't remember the name of it,

but the thesis of it is that government uses crises as a way to get a policy and they always wanted to get it. Yeah, they do. And the example, the prime example would be the Iraq war. You know, the Republicans wanted to go back to Iraq and kick Saddam Hussein's ass, you know. Well, so did the Democrats. They went along, but it wasn't like George Bush. He tried to kill my daddy. No, but the Democrats went right along with it.

They did most of them not all of them. All of them always do the same thing, act like they ain't gonna. Not all of them. That's how Obama got elected president, partly because he was the one who was right about the Iraq war. He was not for the Iraq war. But then he bombed eight countries. Sometimes presidents have to bomb. They do. The world is full of shitty people plotting against us. Sometimes presidents have to kill you. Yes, that's true. You're the one who likes speaks the truth. That's the truth. So you can live comfortably in Hawaii and Texas and California and how many other states. And we can enjoy our cushy lifestyle. Yes, there are bad guys out there.

They're not all rooting for us. And they're like the pigs, some of them in your forest. They want what you have. And sometimes you got a bomb. But we would try not to. I feel that Jimmy Carter is a heroic president because he's the one president never fired a shot. Now, if he had been president after 9-11, he probably would have had to fire a shot or two.

But never fired a shot. That's very rare. Presidents pull the trigger a lot. Now, should Clinton have like bombed Serbia? And when it was that 1998, the Balkan Wars? should Clinton have like bombed Serbia? And when it was that 1998, the Balkan Wars? I mean, that's a big thing to bomb another European country. It's a little persubstuous.

Like, but, you know, they were gonna annihilate the possibly the Muslims in Kosovo. I mean, it was like, those are the decisions, like, people make, and you want the people in office to be sober. That's why, like, Biden, I'm not opposed to him. You think Biden's sober? I've not opposed him being present,

but he's going to lose. He's going to lose to Trump, who just next to Biden looks like James Brown at the Apollo, and he's 77. But he just, that just one guy just looks, the angrier Trump gets, the more he looks invigorated. He fucking killed it in his mug shot. You could not have done better in that mug shot. I got to give him that.

It was great. It was, I mean, you could, any other actor, you could give a hundred takes. It was great to show honor. Any other supermodel, and they couldn't have nailed it, and he only got one take, and he did, that was exactly the look he wanted. Andres Olvinsett, he was trolling the Constitution. Is he still your boy? Who? Trump. Oh my God, you're not going there.

Well, I'm just trying to get picked another fist fight between it. No, I'm just asking, I don't give a shit. You think I, you think it's not gonna affect my love for you. That's the whole not the whole point one of the main points of this thing we're doing here is that I love to talk to people who I don't agree with on everything. Yes, we should all be able to talk. Exactly. You should all be able to talk fucking quiet and still come away. Right. That's I mean, I And still come away. Of America. Right. I mean,

Long made a wave. Not count. I had Candace Owens here. And, you know, it just made me think. So many of the things she says, she's very funny. When she says something, I totally agree with it. I mean, she's just, it's like a comic going straight at it. I mean, the, the ref needs the call, the match sometimes.

I mean, it's like, it's not a fair fight. But then she's, it's like, what I thought was like, this is the challenge of America. How to get along with someone who you think, oh, this person is so on the money on ABC and D, but is insane about E and F, or in your case, G, H, H, L, M, N, I, B, U, R, S, D, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, double A, double B, double C, double B. You would call, but people like, but you're on your side, you call common sense crazy.

Me personally, you're talking about? No, you're, you're way of. Based on facts? No, mine is. Yours is not. Mine is totally facts. Yours is based on anything anyone says on the internet. That is so fucking untrue. It is very true. I mean, it's so not. I don't know how you got sucked into the Fox News vortex. I did it again, sucked. I think they have one of those swirly things. I hate Fox News. And it was like,

I hate Fox News. I hate Fox News. You hate Fox News? I always have. But that's where you get things like, you know, what you got you in trouble. What? I mean, there's memes in the right wing media sphere

that, you know, need checking out and vetting and people don't. People just, if they see it on the screen, it's, you know, somebody asked me recently, what scares you, I think they were gonna thinking I was gonna say COVID or something, stupid thing like that. And I was like, what scares me is the human brain.

And like how crazy people can be, again, not about everything, but like how much crazy there is out there. And yet, you know, life doesn't just, that's it seems like it should just completely go off the rails. We get up, we drive, we go places, we come home, sometimes shit happens, but mostly, well, a little bit of our best lives. And it's like, with all these crazy people out there,

that's what scares me. And at some point, there's gotta be a reckoning with all that crazy. Well, I think we're all crazy to someone. I definitely think we're a too conformist society, whereas when people step outside the bounds of what is the one true opinion, I call it, you know, the conventional wisdom, they are some sort of heretic. That's why I say,

I want people to hear everything you think, because yes, once in a while, like the crazy person, this we saw this with COVID, everything that the people who were supposed to be crazy were saying, oh now the studies come out and oh yeah, the masks were not good for you, breathing in your own CO2, something I said like the first week of the thing. Okay, I'm the crazy person, but a lot of times the crazy person after some time turns out to me not so crazy. I forget what brought that up, but I'm getting like you. It goes like for me that my tweet was about a militarized government

under the Obama administration. What does that mean? A militarized government. Governments control the military. We have a military. We're not a militarized government. Not yet. I'm sorry.

Militaryized police force. Well, the police in America did. They went through a period. That's when tank showed up in the streets. Yes, I remember doing editorials on this that, especially after the Iraq war, the military of America always run by, how can we make money on this? Everybody in America is Milo Minderbender in Catch-22. So they had like excess jeeps and tanks and shit

that came home from the war. It's like, what can we do with this shit? Oh, you know what? Oh, I had to, we can sell it to police departments. Wouldn't you like a tank if you were the sheriff? And that's what they did. And they said, so I remember doing a new rule and it was after the riots in Boston, I maybe after the

Boston Marathon bombing, not riots, the manhunts, and it was like, when did Boston get an army? I got to go to bed, Bill. Oh, that's honest. Yeah, okay. Not because I said something bad. I'm just tired. Okay, I'm good. I love that you, it's always right out there.

Like it hit you. You're like, I'm not gonna bullshit or like slowly. I'm gonna, hey, I'm ready to go to bed. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you doing this. I had fun. I saw you laughing many times. That is what made me love this. It was so loud. you