Club Random with Bill Maher - Shane Smith | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: October 27, 2024

Check out Shane Smith’s New Podcast Shane Smith Has Questions, https://tinyurl.com/SSHQPOD  Shane Smith is the founder of Vice, an Emmy winning investigative journalist, and a master story-teller. He is promoting his new podcast Shane Smith Has Questions. Bill and Shane cover a ton of topics, like Shane’s parasite from Afghanistan, drinking tea with the Taliban, Japanese toilets and global bathroom experiences, the origins of Vice as a magazine in Canada, HBO's involvement and the Vice TV show's global impact, Vice’s coverage of North Korea and Dennis Rodman’s trip, Bill grills Shane on the worst places in the world to live, Shane’s travels to volatile regions like Yemen and Kandahar, nostalgia for the 90s and being the "last sane generation,"  the human experience in combat zones and areas of conflict, and of course, Diddy. Go to https://www.PDSDebt.com/random to get debt free, today! Follow Club Random on IG: @ClubRandomPodcast Follow Bill on IG: @BillMaher Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/ClubRandom Watch Club Random on YouTube: https://bit.ly/ClubRandomYouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Who's he? Did you ever interview him? I did. General Butt-Naked? Yeah. Club. Random. YouNaked? Yeah. You brought it all around. You brought it all around. That's what Trump calls a weave.

Whatever. You just did a weave. Exactly. Shane, I haven't seen you in minutes. Well, how have you been? How's the family? Good, thank you. How are you?

How was the family? Last time I talked to you, you and your wife were getting over a case of some sort of parasite in your colon. Oh yeah, that was me. I thought you passed it to her or something. I know, well, I had a stomach, a flesh eating parasite in my stomach that was, I got in Afghanistan.

And they always say, whatever you do, don't drink yellow tea in Afghanistan. Oh, don't I know it. And I was interviewing the head of the Taliban, and he's like, have some tea, because it's a cultural thing. And you're like, no, thanks, I'm not, you know. And they're like, no, have the tea.

And then there's silence in the room. So you're like, well, I guess I'll drink the tea. I drank the tea, cut to be, you know, getting the butt drill, you know, and where they check for parasites. And I had a doozy of all parasites. But it doesn't affect them because they're so used to it? I was getting, I was supposed to get a,

no, so yeah, exactly, yeah. So I was supposed to get a- Like Mexico. Like Mexico, not to zoom as revenge. Right. There you go. Water, which by the way, I've had many times as well I have I have two I have a lot of laws about traveling one is the worst the GDP the better the chicken Because it's like yard birds, you know, and you know, so the chick you're like this chicken is delicious But also the more you need a toilet the worst that toilet's gonna be

but also the more you need a toilet, the worse that toilet's gonna be. So if you're in Sub-Saharan Africa, it's just gonna be arcing ropes of shit everywhere. But if you're in Japan, where you're just gonna have a perfect loo-doop, and a loo-doop, it's got like songs, and it'll wipe, and it'll blow air. It's got songs.

It's got songs, yeah, you press a button. No, I know, I've been to people's houses here in wealthy Los Angeles where I rarely leave except for other parts of America, which is why I admire you so much. And I can't figure out how to use the toilet. It's so complicated. It's like I have to like cheaply walk out and say,

listen, you know, my pee is in your toilet. Thank God it wasn't nothing more severe, because I just can't figure it out. I am addicted to Japanese toilets. I must. I have PTSD from so much time on the road and so many stomach parasites. So Japanese toilets are my one luxury. Well, if people don't know what we're talking about,

I mean, Vice, which started out, of course, as a magazine in Canada and then became this awesome show about, I mean, Vice, which started out, of course, as a magazine in Canada and then became this awesome show, which I had the honor of being an executive producer on, which means I did very little and slapped my name on it. But you and your crew and your intrepid reporters, but you leading them as the general, went all around the world to the worst places.

I mean, that's what Vice was known for. It's why it was such an awesome show. And it was on HBO for how many years? Five? Seven? Seven years. And you know, I mean, you would go to Venezuelan prisons and you would go to Afghanistan

and you would go to Somalia and just, I mean, it's amazing that you don't look any worse for the wearer, really. I mean, but you got rid of the parasite? How do you get rid of that thing? You know, just very, very strong antibiotics, which probably will make me grow thumbs out of my back when I'm older, but you know, there you go.

Yeah, I mean, there was a, yeah, those were the good old days when the, how that all started was we were in Iraq and it was, we were shooting the only heavy metal band in Baghdad. And you know, it was not a political thing, but we were there when W went and said, mission accomplished. And he was in the green zone and we were there when W. Wendt said, mission accomplished,

and he was in the green zone, and we were in the red zone, and everyone was shooting at us, and we're like, the war is not over, and they're like, see, that's real news, and we're like, real news? We're talking about heavy metal. And so what we decided to do is just go there. Production is just a plane ticket, so it was just $2,000.

I think I flew to Liberia for 600 bucks on Belgian air. And we went to, because we had done this story in Vice, where a container had been stolen from a ship and it had two-pack Chukwur t-shirts in it. So of course it became an army's uniform, the Tupac army, and they fought General Butt-Naked's army, who fought naked, and so that's a very Vice story, General Butt-Naked versus the Tupac army. So we're like, well, why don't we just go there?

What do you think, if you had to be forced to move, is the worst place in the world? Where would you least like to have to go? I'm sure it's quite a final four. I mean, North Korea, Afghanistan, I mean, there's some great contenders for worst country to live in. Of course, the kids here in America, they know the answer. America!

They live in the best place with all our flaws at the best time in history, and they think they're living at the worst time in the worst place. Best time in history. And they think they're living at the worst time in the worst place. Best time in history. By far. Yeah. I was saying that to someone the other day.

I'm Gen X, and Gen X were this sort of forgotten generation. And the Boomers are on one side and Z's on the other side. And we had this weird existence of not being anywhere. And I was explaining to someone, I'm like, if you believe Carl Sagan, which I do, saying look, there's billions of years of evolution, billions and billions and billions of planets, right? And there's this one tiny fucking window when humans can exist without mastodons killing us

and getting gutted by a fucking pitchfork, and we live in that sort of one window, and not only did we live in that window, we live in the Gen X window, which was like no war, economic prosperity, you could travel, there's luxury, there's Japanese toilets. AIDS, I always say the 90s, between AIDS and terrorism. Like AIDS, and not that AIDS is still around,

but like when it became not the terror it was in the 90s, and terrorism was something that was still done, But like when it became not the terror it was in the 90s and Terrorism was something that was still done. It was still being done in movies Yes, and and no big war, you know, and so, you know lots of lots lots of freedom Clinton luxury Travel seeing the world great food foodie ism hipster ism And and now like if you look if you you know, look at the if you look at the environment, you look at AI gonna be a huge disruptor, you look up and you say there's a good possibility that GenX might have been the greatest single generation to live in.

The luckiest. In history, luckiest, luckiest in history and I'm like you know what, we should be happy every single day. And also the last, I always say that I called GenX the last sane generation because they were the last free range. Free range.

I mean, I don't know if you ever read Bret Easton Ellis' book, the last one. It's not a fiction. It's that he wrote a novel that he wrote a novel since, but this one was about five years ago. We had him on the show. Not a good talk show guest, but a great writer. Yeah, great writer.

And he wrote, I think it's called White. Right, I'm gonna read it. And it's a lot about being a free-range kid in the 70s. Yes. You know? Go. Yeah, and of course, as a boomer, that was not even discussed.

Of course you were free-range. Yeah, go. Go play in the crick. I mean, it was actually, the reverse was horrible if you were somehow needed your parents to shepherd you to places. They were like, I'm not a chauffeur. Life was stand by me.

You went out, there were dead kids, there were leeches, there were fucking trains. And then you'd come back going, mom, I lived. And you'd just shut up, eat your TV dinner, and go to bed. And it was fun. So fun. TV dinner. And it was fun. So fun. So fun.

And made us better. Well, look, I don't know what the fuck happened. And somebody's, a lot of people have written a lot of shit about this. But we went from literally having no parental supervision to being like, I guess we're known as like the super, most, I guess because we didn't have any. And we're like there, but for the grace of God, go, I guess, because we didn't have any, and we're like there,

but for the grace of God, go, all right, it didn't die, so now we're overly suffocating or something, I don't know. But like, why are our kids so parented, and we kind of weren't parented, you know what I mean? I don't understand that. Well, we weren't over-parented. I was definitely parented. I think they struck basically the right balance.

Now, you know, were they a little... Hands off. Light on. Well, like, you know, I remember when I went through puberty, basically, and into like having my first girlfriend. I mean, there was so little discussion of it in the house before, so little of making me feel comfortable with it.

My father and I had one, you know. Birds and bees. Discussion, yes, and I remember he opened it with, your mother thinks I should have this talk with you. Right away, the disclaimer. You know, like, I'm distancing myself from this already. Not my idea. I have to do it.

And I, you know, but mother thinks you should, we should have a discussion about sex. And I said, what is it you wanna know, dad? Yeah. No, I didn't say that because I certainly didn't know much either. We were very innocent in that era, but it was just, it was about three minutes of the most excruciatingly

awkward, embarrassing, and then we both were like, okay, we did it. We filled the quota barely, but we just had some sort of thing where the penis goes in the vagina and let's just keep painting the deck, because we were like painting the deck. Like, he chose that as the moment. That was the time.

We're gonna be working so I don't have to look at you. Right, we have an activity. It was like a director at a sitcom. A manly, a manly. Gotta have an activity while you're doing it. You're unpacking the groceries while you're having the discussion about your marriage. I got, if she comes home pregnant,

I'm gonna kill you myself kind of thing. It was like a sort of. From your father? Yeah, it was a given. It was a given that probably because. But did you get the talk about the, do you remember that? I think he had, you know, I think he knew I knew pretty much everything

because he knew how much of his porn I had snuck into. Your father had porn? Oh yeah. Like magazines, old school magazines. Magazines, yeah. Yeah, that's what I grew up on. And I remember yeah. Like magazines, old school magazines. Magazines, yeah. Yeah, that's what I grew up on. I remember like. Like which one?

Videos. Were there Canadian ones? No, like Playboy. Where the pussy was very polite. I remember, thank you. I remember he had one which was, you remember Cheechalina? Oh Jesus.

Cheechalina. Ba-dum-bum. Do you remember Cheechalina? Oh, Jesus. Cicciolina? Ba-dum-bum. Do you remember Cicciolina? I don't. Cicciolina? Cicciolina. Who is that? So famous, because that's what I said,

would you remember? Speaking of politically incorrect, Cicciolina was an Italian porn star who became a member of parliament in Italy. Oh, yes. And married coons. I know exactly who you're talking about. Yeah, I know her.

I didn't know her name was Cicciolina. Yeah, Cicciolina. That's her real name or her porn name? I think that's her porn name. Well, it matters to me. Yeah, so Cicciolina, he had a Cicciolina tape. So I was like, yeah, that's where I learned how to study politics right there.

Oh, a tape, like a VHS? VHS, yeah. And you watched it when they weren't home? Yeah, well not when they were home, yeah. Right. But I mean- Then that'd be really fucking weird. Oh, dad, are you listening?

Right. Can you hear the Italian? And was it graphic? Oh yeah. Blow job? Mm-hmm. And then fuck? Everything, yeah.

Anal? Probably not. Right. Anal's a recent thing. Not for Cicciolina. Not for Cicciolina. I mean, come on, I mean, it's bad enough. Right. Anal's a recent thing. Not for Cicciolina. For Cicciolina? Come on. It's bad enough.

Yeah. Well, it's Italy. In Greece, that's Cicciolina. That would be where we go first. Look, Cicciolina did not get fucked in the ass. And I'm not going to listen to this. I think she said to somebody, Gorbachev, or some president, I will fuck you to stop this war,

whatever war that particular war was. Shane, the Italians have had a rough enough week without thinking that Cheechalina got fucked in the ass. You know why I say this? Why? Well, it was in the news yesterday that Columbus was a Jew. Oh, God help us all.

Did you see that? No. No? No. They dug him up. Dug him up? Yeah. Columbus. To do a DNA test?

Buried in Seville. He wasn't originally buried there. He wanted to be buried, I think, on Hispaniola because he discovered it. Of course, he never set foot in America, but it's another story. And then they moved the body at some point to somewhere else, because he discovered it. Of course, he never set foot in America, but it's another story. And then they moved the body at some point to somewhere else, and then it wound up in Seville. Is that what I just said to you?

Yeah, yeah. Okay, in 1898, dug him up, did the DNA testing, and of course, I can't say for sure that he was a Jew. I mean, it wasn't like the skeleton was wearing a yarmulke. But I mean, it was complaining about the air conditioning. Well, he's a skeleton, come on, he's got no meat on him. Okay, so they said by the DNA, it's very highly likely that he was a Sephardic Spaniard. I mean, he did go on his mission for Spain, of course, even though they, he was a Catholic-Arabic Spaniard.

He did go on his mission for Spain, of course, even though they said he was Italian. He probably was born, I think he was born in northern Italy at the time, Genoa, yes, which was a city state. But Jews were born all over, as they were, diaspora. So he could have been that, but they're saying, and then the drawings of him,

I don't know how they get these drawings, I mean, he looks a little Jew-y. I did not see that, but it's very. No, I mean, so if the kids needed one more reason to hate Columbus, now that they hate the Jews too, there you go, it's like the unified theory of Jew-hating. The colonizers, Israel, Columbus is a Jew-hater. I mean, come on.

Okay, so what are the four worst countries in the world to be in? Look, to go there for a week, it's absolutely fascinating. We were speaking about sort of... Go where? North Korea. North Korea for a week. Oh yeah absolutely fascinating. We were speaking about sort of... Go where? North Korea. North Korea for a week. Oh yeah, you went there a couple of times.

Bunch of times, but to go there, it's like Disneyland for political wamps. Oh, I remember. That was the Vice episode that got us the most publicity. Yeah. That was amazing. Well, if you remember what happened, we had shot the whole season, and we were very proud.

We'd done a lot of stuff, done a lot of good work. And then the last thing was I figured out, because I'd been there a bunch, that they love basketball and they love the Chicago Bulls. And we figured out if we could get the Chicago Bulls there. And so the Chicago Bulls wouldn't go. We called Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, they said, fuck you.

But we called Dennis Rodman and he said, I'm in. I'm signing cards at the. That's how that Rodman North Korea connection came about. It was Vice, it was you. And with the Harlem Globetrotters, who by the way are amazing. Harlem Globetrotters are like the best ambassadors America could want.

So we went over, played the national team, it was a tie, and Kim Jong-un came and invited our crew. I remember. I remember. So I had, speaking of the stomach parasite, I had a hernia operation, I had to delay because of the stomach parasite. It's right at that time, so you have a good memory. I was in the bath reading the, no, I was reading my phone, I guess. Club Random is brought to you by the audio marketing gurus at Radioactive Media. The daily grind is back, it's fall, and Q4 is upon us.

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That's get super, B-E-E-T-S.com, code random. I was reading the paper, I was reading the phone. Let's get super B-E-E-T-S.com, podred. I was reading the paper, I was reading the phone. And every fucking news site in the world shat on us from on high. There's stunt journalists, fuck vice. And by the way, the BBC really shat on us and they had just got caught for trying to sneak in with a school group.

And you're like, you're gonna endanger school kids, but I'm the fucking asshole, who that's so infuriating All these elitist stupid Journalists who sit who are like lazy about the most basic things about journalism that they could look up or find out right here In America, you're shitting on you over in North Korea So because they couldn't get in and and so we got this, because everyone gets the same documentary of North Korea,

because they just give you the same one, and everyone has the same one. Anyway, so we got this thing, and I just remember we're just launching the show, and I remember being devastated, because everyone was shitting on us. And Plepler called me up, he said one thing, he said- Plepler, the president of HBO.

Plepler, shout out, You're a fucking genius. I love you. He is my favorite. The last of the great, him and Tom Frest and the last two great media moguls. Truly. Always had my back. And my back, our back. HBO.

Our back. And by the way, that job of having the back of people like us is not an easy one. Not an easy one. Because in cancel culture, which we live through and still are living through, they come at you very hard. Like, we will picket your office. We will... We'll put five journalists on you. We will do everything. So for a guy to stick up for us meant something and he... Shout out to Platt. One of the last... I always think of last is a great V8 Interceptors.

You were a fucking mensch. Anyway, Plattler called me when all that shit was going down and he said, you know what they said about Rome? He said they called it, they had a one word review, Carthage, and he said, look, you have a great show, don't worry about it. And we launched to a five, we launched to a crazy number and I realized, you know, all of that publicity,

no one gave a shit about us, no one knew about stuff for you know, all of that publicity, no one gave a shit about us, no one knew about stuff for you. And all of a sudden we were this popular show, because everyone had shat on us from on high. And the first episode, everyone was like, this is fucking awesome. But also, it was such a great companion show for my show, because it was also like, I know this sounds immodest,

but like the only place where people could see real shit. So it was like my show went to your show. I mean, Vice did not look like anything. I mean, 60 Minutes is the closest thing, and 60 Minutes has done much great work over the years. Yeah. Much. And they have gone to places that are dangerous,

but not the way Vice did. Not as far under the fingernails. Huge fan of 60 Minutes. It used to be the greatest news show ever made. Yes, the only. The only, yeah. The only and then, yeah. And it's still great.

I still never, I have not missed an episode of 60 Minutes in the history of that run. Another shout out, Jeff Fager, who ran 60 Minutes for a long time, did a phenomenal job. But yeah, Plepler with us, he always had our back. And Don Hewitt, who invented it. Yeah, Don Hewitt, amazing.

Who said, our job is to make interesting what's important. Exactly, there you go, bang! That should be today, bango. Well, that's what we're trying to do. The reason why that quote is in my mind is because I live by it, or try to, and I've always remembered it. Our job, if you watch, I mean,

I used to watch the nightly news, and then I watched it almost just to make fun of it, and now I can't even watch it. Can't watch it. Because it should be recalled, renamed, some video we found that was cool that we thought we'd show you. I mean, you get about three minutes of real news

before you're into like, a plane had a problem. Unless they all died, shut the fuck up. I don't give a shit. It's not a story, and they show a shaky plane or something and passengers freaking out. When all the shit that they could be covering goes uncovered, which is the kind of shit you covered,

and then by the time you get to the last segment, it's just the one-legged skier. Well, I think it's worse than that. I think it's fucking op-head. You get like whatever, 15 minutes maybe of some sort of video like you're saying, which is not the video that should be showing. And then let's all talk about the video

and what we think about the video. Everybody's just talking about Op-Ed, Op-Ed, and you're like, I don't give a shit what you have to say. I mean, and that's where the better news is given. That's not even TikTok. Can you imagine the mind of someone who gets their news from TikTok? I mean, there's a problem.

I mean, look, we have so many problems like that, problems of character, problems of discipline, problems of minds that are just mush, including one of the candidates for president that we're gonna be voting for is just, I mean, not that he always hasn't been an insane person, maybe not always, because that movie that just came out about him, The Apprentice, is awesome.

If you haven't seen it, it is so good. The reason why it may not do well, and I hope it does well in the way Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9-11 did really well before the 2004 election, is that people, if they hate Trump, it's like, okay, I'm not gonna see it because I wouldn't want to patronize him. It's an honest character study.

Just look at it as that. He did change. He was his father's son. The father was awful and partly made the son who he is. So I know people who saw it and said, I don't like it because it's sympathetic to Trump in the beginning. Well,'s sympathetic to Trump in the beginning. Well, maybe he is sympathetic in the beginning.

He was collecting rents from his father. He opens the door and they throw hot water on him because that's what happens when you were a slumlord, which his father was sometimes, and people didn't want to pay the rent. And then, you know, it's just, if you just watch it as a study of a human, it's quite interesting. And then, of course, it's just, if you just watch it as a study of a human, it's quite interesting.

And then, of course, it's very brutal to Trump in the second half. But he did change. He did become this monster. But don't you think, I'm asking the one guy who knows and is probably going to tell me to shit for saying this, don't you think that all politicians are sort of narcissistic charming megalomaniacs? Not all. No. I mean, there's a tribute in my book

to a guy named Henry Waxman, who you probably never heard of. And that's why he's so great. OK. It's a tribute. We did it as an editorial. We gave him the Baldy Award. He's a bald, bespeckled congressman who single-handedly wrote...

I mean the big boys. Wrote probably all the progressive legislation since, you know, like 1980. He's not in Congress anymore, but he was until recently. There's a Republican who said, if you don't like progressive legislation, it's something like, it's because you were looking away while Henry Waxman was, I mean, everything from seat belts, that kind of stuff, anything that AIDS, recognizing AIDS, he just did it all.

He was a political mechanic. He was just a guy who wanted to do the job. That guy you don't find that often in the Republican Party. You don't often find it in the Democrats, but much more often. Democrats are wonks. Hillary's a wonk. Obama's a wonk.

They really care about the work, and they know in detail what you need to know about the work. Republicans have this idea, oh no, big picture, you know, Bush, we got attack, war, where sir? I don't know, I'm not a detail man, you figure that out. Republicans have wonks too, but yeah. No they're not. Come on. Name one Republican wonk.

All of the neocons. Neocons. Yeah. Oh, like, Brents, Snow Crab. Wolfowitz, Rumpfels, Jamie. Yeah, those are, but they were policy wonks. They're not in the office. I'm talking about Republican versus Democratic politicians.

You can't name any Republican wonks who really care about the, I mean, that's not true. I'm sure that they do, some of them do their work, and I'm glad they do their homework, because again, I don't trust the left either. But generally, the people who just want to make policy and make lives better and make government work better, yes, they spend too much money

and they have a lot of flaws, but they generally tend to be people like Obama and Hillary Clinton. They're wonky people who like the idea of government. They know all the things. There's another, I think a great one we did about celebrities who want to be in office and mocking... Reagan had a cabinet of wonks.

I mean, he put a cabinet of wonks... It's a long time ago. He was the Queen of England and Schultz was the ultimate wonk. You know, exactly. Yes, you're right. But that's a different era and a different Republican. That Republican is gone. Agreed. I'm just saying... No, exactly. Yes, you're right, but that's a different era and a different Republican. That Republican is gone. Agreed.

I'm just saying, wonky. Yeah, but that Republican doesn't exist much anymore. I mean, they exist on the outskirts. I mean, they exist in writing articles for, you know, what's the Republican magazine that? Don't put me in the spot. No, you don't know that one. I'm stoned so I can't think of it.

Oh, shit. But you know, they have one. It gets like... Republican magazine? Yeah, there's a hardcore right wing. It's very influential. I mean... Oh, Drudge Report?

No. I don't know. We'll chy run it later. But it's very influential. It was very influential in the Iraq War. They were all for the surge, that kind of thing. I mean, they're not completely crazy, but I think they were against Trump at the beginning. Right.

Well, the Republicans were against Trump in the beginning. Yeah. And then he took over the GOP. That's, that's what happens with the—you know who I liked? You know who was wonkish and a political mechanic and who got fucked by his own party? John Boehner. He was trying to make shit work. He got fucked for even meeting with Obama. I wouldn't call him a mechanic.

He was a political mechanic. He worked on consensus. He tried to make shit happen. He was a drunk. Yeah. But a charming drunk. Maybe. Okay, some drunks are. I don't know.

I never met him. I know he used to burst into tears if he saw an American flag. He was emotional. In a sandwich. Emotional cat. Emotional cat. Yeah.

But listen, he got kicked out by his own party for just meeting with his mama. Look, I'll take him and his I weep about how much I love America much more than I will the kids who think America is the worst place in the world. I'll take him and his I weep about how much I love America much more than I will the kids who think America's the worst place in the world. I agree. And really, I mean, the idea that I've heard the term

death to America now chanted on American soil, I mean, I've heard it as you have and you've been to these places, chanted in Tehran. A lot of those people have never left America is the issue. Well, that's the point. They need to talk to you. Yeah, well, listen, I come back here,

I'll tell you the truth. Every time I come back here, I'm like, ah, ah, ah. It's paradise. I love it. I love it. Right. But you're exactly the person who needs to talk to the kids who think

they live at the worst time in the worst country. You're wrong. Just you're wrong. You're wrong. From someone who's been there. You know, the different, look, every generation looks back at the former generations and go, oh, these kids today, I mean, they did it to us. Sure.

But the difference is that I don't remember my views on things that I had no idea about because I was too young, taken as seriously as these kids are. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember my views on things that I had no idea about because I was too young, taken as seriously as these kids are? Yeah, yeah. Well, because Gen Z, so the Baby Boomers, were the largest media economic cohort, socioeconomic cohort ever, and were so till today when they're dying off,

so now it's gonna be Gen Z. So Gen Z are gonna run shit, hey. And just like the baby boomers did. The problem now is you have kids coming out of college and being like, I read a book, and so therefore this is what I, and you're like, look, go to these places. Go see what it's like to never have a kick at the can, ever.

And if you have the wrong name or the wrong accent, you and your kids and your kids' kids will never have a kick at the can, ever. And if you have the wrong name or the wrong accent, you and your kids and your kids' kids will never have a kick at the can, ever. And so, look, I'm an immigrant. I came here with nothing. And you're like, it's still the American dream. It's still a place where you can go from rags to riches, where you can manifest destiny, where you can make it all happen. And you can say what you want about a lot of other places, but you can't do that, I would say, in 94% of the globe. What's so ironic is that the thing they really hate, because they're so uneducated,

they only really know black and white. And I mean literally black and white. Everything is seen through this lens of identity politics. So white people bad, everything they did was bad. So ironic because everything that makes their lives possible was, I'm sorry, probably invented through Athens, Rome, Jerusalem, Philadelphia, London. I mean, rule of law, free and fair elections, respect for minorities. These are all the things that make life good. The fact that we have protected markets,

that you can actually do business without it being dominated by corruption. I mean, these are the things that make life good for everybody. Human rights, the idea of you get a trial by jury. They take all these things for granted. the NFL's football league yard after yard down after down the sportsbook born in Vegas gives you the chance to take action to the end zone and celebrate every highlight real play and as an official sportsbook

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one specially developed helmet, thousands of high intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions, and that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. People made these ideas up and fought and died for them. I'm sorry some of them were white. I wish it all happened in Wakanda. Look, look, it's hard to argue with, but I will say that there was a time when England, especially, went out, took all the resources from everywhere, brought them back to England, manufactured them, and then sold

them back to the rest of the world. And being an ex-colonial, you're like, yeah, I grew up loving British comedy and British fucking TV, British books and British, but they were doing some bad fucking things. The British to Canada? To everybody. To the Empire. To everybody. But not as bad to you as they did to people.

No. Not as bad as this is Africa. What did they do bad to you? They did bad to the natives. Well. They did bad to the natives. If you want to look at World War I and World War II, Canadians were known as cannon fodder. In fact, D-Day, they just sent the Canadians on the first waves to get killed.

Problem? No. So we were... Really? Canadians were cannon fodder? Famously. Famously, they'd send in the Canadians and the Australians and the Kiwis. I bet you they took it very politely.

Thank you. No, we were cannon fodder for the Brits, as were all the colonies. I shouldn't just say us. I mean, it was... Right. The colonies went in first. There's a great scene in Braveheart where Braveheart, of course, takes place in Scotland in 1315 when the Scots were looking to be free from the Brits. And William Wallace played by Mel Gibson brilliantly in a brilliant movie,

whatever you think of his politics. And the bad guy is King, who was the King in England at the time? King John. William Wallace, wasn't it? No, he's William Wallace. He's William Wallace. No, I think it was King John or King Edward. I think Edward. Edward. Okay. Played by the Patrick McGoon. It's so good, yeah. Who was.

He threw the dude out the window, amazing scene. Yes, and it's one of those scenes that you see in all the movies where there's medieval battles and one side is a raid on a battlefield against the other and they're about to do it, they're about to throw down, throw down with all of them and run at each other. I mean the fact that men do this just says a lot about how bad men are, okay.

But they're gonna do it. And the guy says to King Edward, Patrick McGowan, should we send in, or should we do the archers now, sir? And he said, no, send in the Irish. The Irish, sir? He says, yeah, arrows cost a dollar a piece. Arrows cost a dollar, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the Irish, the Irish run out, and the other guy, Irish guy, convinced them to come over,

and he goes, you can never trust the Irish. And then they go in. Yeah, the Bruce, the Bruce sold out his Scottish. I'm always making this point about the past. It's like, we just, we grow up historically as a species in a way that's completely analogous to the way we grow up as individuals. You don't expect you of 10 years old

to have any sense of right or wrong or morality or what's... And when we were in 1315 or whatever, or 2000 BC, whatever, humans were just... Nobody even thought that slavery was wrong in biblical times. We know because we have the Bible and there's no one ever says, let's just not do it. Well, like every country, well, now country, but every... Everywhere. ...historical, every country, all had slaves.

Black, white, and... I was reading some stuff that there's more slaves today than there's ever been, like numerologically. That's bullshit. Well, because there's a lot of slaves out there. There's not a lot of slaves. I looked into this also. OK.

There's not a lot of slaves. No. There's people, you know where the people who resemble it most closely are rich Gulf states, like Bahrain, the United Arab Emirates, Qatar, that have these workers, right, usually from Asia, Bangladesh, the Philippines. They treat them about as bad as you can treat a worker. And sometimes it's so close to slavery,

indentured servitude. But of course, because they're people of color, we cannot, the criticism is not as- We actually did that. We snuck into where the camps where they live as they're making the high rises and all of those things. We actually did that and you're right. I mean, it's as close as

you get. I mean, what I'm talking about, apparently, I shouldn't speak on it because I don't know the stats, so I don't really know. Yeah, but you did story on it. Well, we did story. No, I'm saying on that, on wage servitude, where they take your passport and they don't give you the money, and you stay there for 22 years and you never pay off your debt. I mean, but I'm talking about- It's very close. Very close. I'm just saying, if they did that in Belgium,

I think it would be a bigger story. Yeah, well, sure, yeah, 100%. And that is one of the real big problems of the left. Like, only white people can do bad things. Look, today, today, today more than ever. Right. That's the one, I don't know, is that a university thing? Because it seems like university is percolating into mainstream.

You know, this chapel rowing open letter I did last week talking about Israel, thinking I could reason with someone who has shown an ability to reason. Yeah. a good reason with someone who has shown an ability to reason. It's so interesting. It did amazing business. When I say business, I mean retweets and over 10 million, which is a lot for us. But like, and very little blowback. Like, there's no way to argue.

It's so hard to argue with the pictures of the women in Burkitts. It's like once you show that picture, which is apropos to this conflict, if you think it isn't, again, you don't know much about history or the present. It's just so hard. So this is kind of infuriating to me.

You may have had it happen to you too. It's like when they can't argue with me. They just ignore it right? It's like I can't win this argument, so I'm just not going to engage and in three days We'll all be talking about something else. Yeah, I Look, I'm gonna say two things probably light up the Twitter sphere, but The one thing was and I remember saying this a lot during our reporting, after 9-11, you were like, look, 9-11, like you were saying,

there was a period of non-terrorism. 9-11 changed the world. It galvanized the world into two camps. It did exactly what Osama bin Laden wanted. It was a very successful piece of terrorism. If you look at it just, now, if you look at what was happening in the Middle East, which I was there reporting on,

the Abraham Accords were ratified, where the GCC were gonna recognize Israel, the biggest thing since 1947. I gotta stop here. The Abraham Accords were something that happened in the Trump administration. Under Jared. Under Jared Kushner to get, and they successfully

got Bahrain, Oman, Saudi, Morocco, to have a treaty with Israel. And Israel already has treaty, and recognizes it. And Israel already has that with Jordan and with Egypt. Groundbreaking, huge. I mean, mostly what you hear about Israel, and it's certainly true, is that it's surrounded by enemies because they are surrounded by Hezbollah in the north and Gaza. But here are, okay, if you could neutralize the Gaza situation somehow, now you've got Egypt, longstanding treaty

there, Jordan to their other side, treaty, and now these other countries, and they were about to get Saudi Arabia. So, if you look, this is my long-winded thing from 9-11, is the Abraham Accords, again under Trump and Jared, biggest thing since 47, at least bigger than since Camp David and Jimmy Carter. Right. Massive, massive, massive, massive thing. The problem with that is the enemy of Miami Biggest thing since 47, at least bigger since Camp David and Jimmy Carter.

Massive, massive, massive, massive thing. The problem with that is the enemy of Miami becomes my friend. So Iran sees this and says, hold on a second. We have Israel and the GCC, our two biggest enemies. GCC, even I don't know what that is. Oh Jesus, now you're gonna call me out and I've had a few drinks.

The Gulf Cooperation Council or Committee, it's basically the seven or eight Gulf states, right? The ones you just mentioned. The ones that are keeping the Pakistanis in indentured servitude. So they were going to recognize Israel and do all this stuff, do this stuff. So Iran sees this and goes, fuck, if that happens, we're screwed because we've got the GCC and Israel together. So they pay for the three Hs.

They pay for the Houthis. They pay for Hamas. They pay for Hezbollah. And all of a sudden, Hamas comes out, like out of nowhere, comes and starts doing these heinous fucking terrible 9-11 style attacks. And by the way, it fucking worked. The Middle East now has gone 20 years backwards. The GCC, the Abraham Accords have gone out there.

Everybody's just, you know what, fucking, Israel's now on its fucking island again. And Iran just said, go do it, because they've been paying their salaries for the past 20 years. And you're like, they fucking won. Because they- Well, they didn won. Because they destabilized- Well, they didn't win because the war isn't over.

No, but hold on. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying- I'm saying they destabilized the region again. Yeah. Again. And at some point, we have to say, look, terrorism can't fucking win every fucking game. Right. They're not allowed to win every game.

Now, I really wish you had some sort of seminar that the kids would listen to but they probably wouldn't because You're over 50. Are you over 50? Okay, you look great. I mean, I didn't know how old you are. You're generically middle-aged which is as good as you can be. I mean, I'm older than you. I know that. You look fucking good. Well, thanks. We're just a fucking mutually beneficial society. Yeah, hey, what kind of show you think this is? You got a full head of hair? I do, yeah. I don't know what I'm allowed to say,

but you're dating supermodels, you got a full head of hair, let's fucking go, man. Well, I'm not dating supermodels, but I have and it's not good. Let's go. The kids say LFG, that's what we're doing. Let's fucking go. There we go, brother.

But, I mean, we do need someone to crack through. Well, someone needs to say sane shit, which you do. I know, but then we need to get, I mean, the point about Chapel Rowan was like, but can I get her to watch it? Can I get her, or not her, yes, her would be great, but also those people to pay attention to what I'm saying. My point about like nobody really on the internet

was able to refute it because it's irrefutable. What I'm saying, you can't refute. Israel was in that land forever. It is their ancestral homeland. There've always been Jews there. It does not the same thing as colonizing. Whatever thing where I'm going against the bullshit that they've learned on TikTok, that they're colonizers, that it's an apartheid state, all this, that they're

committing genocide, there have been genocides committed in the world. This is not one of them. And they could if they wanted to. The reason why so many people have died is because Hamas uses their civilians as shields. They're responsible for this. There was this simple solution to this. Stop attacking Israel. Accept them as a state in the region. It is their ancestral homeland.

There was a deal by the UN, I said this to Chaperone, we like them, right? You know, I'm trying to get through to these kids in any way I can, but if they just turn off and go, why should I listen to somebody that age who knows so much more than I do, boring? Well, I'm gonna say three things. How do you get that?

I'm gonna say three things. You asked me the worst place in the world that I would live in. Let's get to that. I would say. Man-knives. I would say man-knives. I would say to you North Korea. The reason why I say North Korea, it's a fascinating place

to go for a week, because you see Stalinist Russia in 1953, or Maoist China in 1963. By the way, that's the one, if all the ones you're gonna say, I would most agree, number one. It scares me. But if you lived there. Oh my God. If you lived there.

OMG. It is, like we would hear stories of, if you go to a concentration camp, I can't even. They eat kernels of corn out of cow shit. Beyond, I can't even. And so, I'll say one other anecdote. I was driving in the country, which you're never allowed

to do, and they don't have like villages in the country. They have like a one Stalinist apartment, like 50 story high building in the middle of nowhere. But they've ripped out all of the windows. How does the Grumbab driver get there? So check this out. So you have just forest and then this Stalinist, you know, 50 story high thing that they built in like 1953.

And then so, so then, but they've pulled all the windows out because they had to sell them to China. They don't have any money. They pulled the rebar out. So it looks like a concrete eating woodpecker has, you know, it's just got hold. But they're on the 50th floor and you look up and there's cooking fires.

So you're like, hold on a second. These guys are carrying up, there's no water. So they're carrying water from the stream and wood to have cooking fires. So you're like, hold on a second, these guys are carrying up, there's no water, so they're carrying water from the stream and wood to have cooking fires on floor 49. And you're like, okay, you wanna know where I don't wanna live? There, right? Now, that said, I'm gonna invoke your ire.

What I'm hearing, Shane, is that you are racist and you hate Asians. Mm. That's what I'm hearing. what I'm hearing Shane, is that you are racist and you hate Asians. That's what I'm hearing. The opposite, sorry. My producer's laughing because he knows the truth about that. But what I will say is I spent a lot of time in Israel and I love it. Like Tel Aviv.

Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, I mean, there's one city block, which is like Christianity, Judaism, and Islam on the same block. And you're like, okay, same God, same fucking thing. Everybody shut up. And I love it. I love Israel. I've also spent a lot of time,

like my secret was Lebanon. I used to love going to Beirut, and everyone goes, stay safe, dude. Cut to me on the fucking beach eating branzino, drinking wine, going to the fucking open air, the best club in the world. Babes, everyone like, yeah, stay safe, dude. Cut to me on the fucking beach eating branzino, drinking wine, going to the fucking open air, the best club in the world, babes, everyone like, yeah, it's super dangerous, don't ever come here. But what year is this?

See, exactly. So before all of, everybody laughed before, but I've spent a lot of time in the region, and I'm gonna say this, and I'm gonna go back to North Korea. When we did the Rodman thing, what you realize is people are fucking people, and the kids love the basketball,

and the young kids love the fucking Harlem Globetrotters, and the regime is fucked up. The regime is fucking terrible, and I'll say that fucking, my hotel should have been hotel murder, because it just wreaked a fucking murder of fucking blood. And you're like, I don't want to ever come back here. Sorry if I'm applying for a visa. This was an omni. This was a nominee?

This was a nominee. By the way, their version of a nominee. So North Korea never wanted, because it's the antithesis of freedom. That said, the people of North Korea were just fucking there for a fucking basketball game. And they were bringing tears to their eyes, because they like fucking basketball,

and the Americans were there. You go to fucking Israel, they're fucking nice people. They're beautiful people. You go to Palestine, they're beautiful, nice people. You go to the region, you go to Saudi, you go to... Everyone, there's so much propaganda, the Saudis are so fucked, it's not true. The fucking, these guys are so fucked, it's not true.

The people are fine. I had the same experience making Religious. We shot the last scene in an area where we wanted to have dinner was Palestinian run, but the bodyguards were super nervous. They spent an hour checking out the restaurant before they let us in. And then when we got in,

they were happy to have our money, and we were happy to have their food. We were starving. And you realize just what you said. It's all about the politicians, and it'd be so easy to solve all of these problems. Israel and the Palestinians could totally get along. Oh, like same people, same food, same names, same language, and you sit there and you go,

if we could just fucking be people, and that's why when people start talking about shit as if they understand it, they've never been there, they're talking about regime, they're talking about policies, they're not talking about the people, they don't know what the fuck they're talking about, that's what pisses me off. Right, and you're right, same everything, Semitic people.

I have an organization called One Nose, because they have the same nose, and I would like to solicit donations today to One Nose. It's dedicated. Oh my Lord. It's dedicated. What was your old fucking show called? Politically Incorrect?

Holy shit, man, you've been doing it for 30 years. Yeah. One Nose. and I haven't changed. You're a beautiful baby boy. Your mom and I love you very much. Well. Yeah. No, I hope that the kids can get some wisdom somehow. Shoehorned in.

Everybody needs to fucking. Shoehorned in there, because again, their go-to is, you're old or, you know, get off my lawn. That's not an argument. That's what you say because you don't have an argument because you're too lazy to do the research and understand what the fuck we're talking about.

And if you don't understand it, then really, you don't get a vote anyway. But at least, I'm not trying to mock you, I'm just trying to educate you. And maybe you wouldn't wind up on this side. That's what I kept saying to Chappell Rowan. Is this really the people you wanna throw down with? The people that make their women wear burkas?

You're a fucking drag queen singer. What you do would get you thrown off a roof in Gaza. You're on the wrong team here. You're on team, we think women are second class citizens and we're not afraid to say so. I mean, Gaza, the place where your heroes, Hamas, live, has no laws against or effectively executed laws against sexual harassment or marital rape or, you know, underage marriage. Any of the things that are like, you know, just de rigueur we

think are the worst things in the world here in America. Like I would say, you have a lot of people who have never been, like one of the things that we found is if you just go somewhere, and quite frankly, we look back at this glorious time of news like the Walter Cronkite era, and it was literally a stringer who never left the hotel drinking whiskey would get something and he would send it back,

they would write it on the teleprompter, he'd read it and everybody believed it because it wasn't disproved. And so one of the things we did, speaking of heavy metal in Baghdad, we started just going places. And my first trip to Afghanistan, I went, we won an Emmy for that,

and because we found all these stories of misuse of funds and billions of dollars going missing, forts being taken over the Taliban, like Shane, where did you get your fucking stories from? And I'm like, Sigur. Sigur is the Special Investigator General of Afghanistan. It's the American government. We just went and said, where is the fucking shit happening? But we went there. And what you find is nearly 90% of the time, completely the opposite of what everybody takes as a given Because it's just fucking this is the story and this is what we're saying in what way I mean everything like what well

Like what's opposite? well every so I remember for example we went to Fallujah and That's Iraq correct. Oh, I got no in Afghanistan. Oh, okay So Afghanistan for example all the stories would be coming back. Oh, well just everything we're winning the war There's no fucking heroin. We've convinced everybody this and you're like you're like, okay I went there and like heroin is like this got 90% of the world's heroin is coming from here and Everyone you would talk to her like oh the Americans leave and the Taliban have more land than before they came in.

Everyone. It was so, such a, it's as much of a redo of Vietnam. Yeah, worse. As Lady Gaga was of Madonna when she first came out. It was like the same thing, and somehow we forgot. More expensive, longer. Well, but the same schnick. Yeah, exactly.

So, but if you're there, everyone's like, well, we're close to winning, and we've taken. So, but if you're there, everyone's like, well, we're close to winning, and we've taken this territory. And if you're there, you're like, yeah, no, the Taliban have won. And the minute the Americans leave, they're gonna run everything. They're gonna have all of our money, all of our stuff.

They're gonna have all this, you know, and our heroin money and our legitimate money. They're gonna take all our bullion, all our tanks, all our planes. And they're gonna make it even worse on the women. Or on everybody. I mean, they're going to take all our bullion, all our tanks, all our planes. And they're going to make it even worse on the women. Or on everybody. I mean, they went so far to, I think some of this is just trolling us. I mean, like this again, what I was saying to Chappell, like your heroes in Hamas are

only slightly less conservative than the Taliban. Right. Who this last few weeks went to places where, again, I think this is just trolling, because already you're keeping women like head to toe covered, but now they can't be heard in public. Right, I didn't know that.

No singing, no, their voice, I mean, that's trolling, right? I mean, you've made your point, and now you're just saying, you know what, fuck you. Fuck you, kids. Look, I'm going to say... What do we have to do to get you protesting us? Hamas, if you spend any time in the region, Hamas, Hezbollah, Houthis. We were actually, I believe, shout out to Ben Anderson, one of the first to ever report

on the Houthis. The Houthis, of course, are the ones in Yemen. Yemen, which is the southern part of the Arabian Peninsula, border south there. And they have nothing to do with Palestine. Correct. And yet they're lobbing missiles at Israel. Correct.

Nothing to do. Also, the Houthis, the Houthi is a name, and it was one tribe, small little tribe from the north, Sadda. You were there in Yemen? Oh, many times, yeah. I got arrested in Sharaat Haitham. Haitham got me out of secret police prison.

When you fly into Yemen, it's a direct from Burbank? Yeah, I fanize. I go from fanize to fucking Yemen. Very difficult to get into Yemen. How do you get into Yemen? Surprise, surprise. Don't say practice. Yeah, practice.

No, I took a freighter. A freighter? Yeah. Oh my god. I took a freighter. I feel so guilty, Shane. I have that same ME, and I've never been east of La Brea. I feel so guilty.

But you know what? You know what, dude? You don't have a s- I'll stay here with the women. You don't have a stomach eating, eating parasite. I'll protect the women. You go get the virus and the stomach eating thing. Not to be an asshole, but you are doing an essential thing

of bringing what's important to people. So true. And hold on, can I say one thing? Please. The left does this thing about doing politics through humor. They're not funny and they're politics or shit. You're funny and your politics are spot on. So well done and that's important.

And somebody has to do that. I so appreciate that. And especially since I can do that and still have dinner at Madero. There you go. And since I can't do that, I have to go to Liberia and go, this shit's fucked up. Bill Maher.

Well, that's the, you know what? God that I don't believe in really did me a solid when he made me funny because that makes up for so many things and it allows you to just, yeah. You have to shed light on the stuff that's important and you have to do it in an entertaining way. What I found that- But how do you get into Yemen? You said a freighter. From where?

I had to go on a freighter. What is a freighter? Like a ship, like a tramp steamer. A tramp steamer. Like your Humphrey Bogart in 1954. Exactly. I love it. And by the way, I love it.

But where did that- I love it. Really? I love it. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I used to love it. And by the way, I love it. But where did that? I love it. Really? I love it. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I used to love it. I remember, I'll tell you this, one time I'm allowed to tell a story

where I was very fucking pleased with myself. Which? Jake, my DP, used to always say, Shane fucking definitely likes to fucking dress up. One of the things was, which is self-deprecating, but if you walk around in khakis and have dudes doing this, you learn the hard way, you're a fucking target. What's this?

Talking into your wrist, like security. Oh, I get it. So what I found early is if you fucking put a chicken bone in your beard and wear rags, nobody fucking messes with you. A chicken bone in your beard? Just look like a bum. Oh, I see. So just don't have fucking dudes in khakis talking

into your wrist, right. Oh, absolutely. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. There you go. Okay, you're a smart man. So anyway, I was reporting in Kashmir, and there's a very specific Kashmiri chuppel, which is like the hat with the thing and the long chavarkamies. And so I'd just come from Kashmir, and we were going to Northwest Frontier Province to hang out with the Taliban in Swat, which is like fucking dangerous, right?

And so I was with my partner, Sush Alvi, who's from Pakistan, and we were going into Northwest Frontier Province, and I'm basically a pink Irishman wearing fucking Kashmiri chappal. And so we were going there, and my producer says, fuck this. Like let's get the fuck out. Like, this is fucking too fucking crazy. And I remember myself and Sush, we went into this guest house because there's no hotels or anything. So we're in this guest house and the lady goes to Sush, who's Pakistani, goes, does

your religious leader require any special diet? Right? Because there's no fucking way that a pink man in wearing Kashmiri chappal is anything but a Dagestani fucking badass. So he's fucking there for only fucking one reason. So we're not gonna fuck with him. And so Sush responds in Urdu,

no, we just wanna be left alone. Thank you very fucking much. And I was like, I'm fitting in. I'm fitting fucking in. In fucking Swat Valley. In fucking Peshawar. So that, I've got to say, was the fun. But I remember driving in with Sarush in this fucking minivan into Swat,

and I remember just going, this is fucking fun. Like, this is super fucking fun. We're in here. There's all kinds of crazy shit going on. We're fucking reporting on it. We're in the fucking middle of global politics and we're reporting what nobody else is. I always say, don't pity the martyr, he likes his job. Exactly.

And I can compete, I think, with that story about you going into... Go, baby. ...that you're going into Kashmir. Go, baby. I have a sweater that you will not believe. It's so scratchy. It scratches my nipples. It is so comfortable. It's like you're wearing nothing and you're still warm. Okay, how does that happen?

How do they do that? I don't know. But thank you for allowing that to get to America. So Dagestan, let's educate the public. Where exactly is Dagestan? So Dagestan is on, is like the southern, like little tip of, it's one of the stands of Russia. What's amazing about Dagestan.

There's Chechnya. Well, there's Chechnya here, right, and there's Dagestan here. On either side of the Caspian Sea, I believe, the Caviar Sea, whatever that one is. In between, which is the Caucasus. The Caucasus Mountains are between the Black Sea and the Caspian Sea. So we've lost everybody now. The only reason why I know it's the seas is because we got caviar from the Dagestani Mafia,

which was illegal. But it just amused me that you thought the whole world would be laughing when you said, he's from the Dagestani, and they're like, oh, the Dagestani, stop it. The one thing I wanted to say about Dagestani, which is interesting, is basically the Spetsnaz, which is the Russian Navy SEALs,

like their secret fucking army green berets, they essentially run Dagestan because it's such a, like there's so much terrorism going on. Basically, you have half the population, what they call going into the forest, which is learning to be like a terrorist super, but because like Wayne Gretzky used to play with a concrete puck, so when he would go in,

you know, and play with a real puck. So these guys are like players. These guys grow up under the Spetsnest, under the Russian Secret Service. So they're such good fucking terrorists that they go and they become the generals or the colonels or the majors of the terrorist groups, the terrorist cells in all these countries.

So when they see a pink man wearing Kashmir-i-Turpa, they're like, fucking Dagestanis are here. I see. Right? So when you go on with your race business, the white dudes are terrified. If you're white and have a hand of beer and are wearing some Kashmiri chappal,

they're terrified of you in Pakistan. It get back to my point that I made on your show that the Russians are white. Even the Dagestanis are white. People are fucking scared Even the Dagestanis are white. People are fucking scared of the Dagestanis. They're the best UFC fighters, they're the best wrestlers in the world, and they're quite frankly, I don't want to be weird,

but they're the best terrorists in the world. They are tough motherfuckers. Stealing the fucking caviar and notwithstanding, that's another place I don't particularly want to live. Where? Dagestan. Dagestan Dagestan But okay, so North Korea is the number one place you like very number two Liberia The American colony Liberia. Yeah, okay I'm impressed. You know, it's an American calling. Absolutely America Liberia for folks who haven't been it's on the

West Coast of Africa and it's on the west coast of Africa. It's near Ghana, Nigeria, that area. Sierra Leone. Sierra Leone, that area, western. West, west, yeah. From where, from whence these slave ships came. Correct, and went back. And went back.

Yeah. But Liberia was an American colony in Africa. Liberia, Monrovia is named after Monroe. Yes. Constitution written here. It was taken over by a sergeant named James Taylor, not James Taylor. James, oh, now you've sucked me because I had to say it.

It's an American name, but he made himself a dictator there. Yes, come on, for fuck's sake. It used to be a very, I thought, desirable place to live. Oh, fuck no. Never? At no time in its history? No. So basically, the slaves went back, the American slaves,

promptly enslaved the Africans as under the plantation system. The American slaves? Went back. Enslaved other Africans as slaves. The local slaves. Went back. Enslaved other Africans as slaves. The local Africans. So America bought Liberia. Gave it to our freed slaves. They enslaved the local Liberians.

That can't be right, Shane. Says every Gen Zer. That can't be right. There were many civil wars. And it would be, if you had an African last name. Charles Taylor. Charles Taylor!

Charles Taylor is the name. Charles Taylor, very bad man. Bad man. Very bad man. Bad man. Very bad. General Butt Naked became famous fighting against Charles Taylor.

Yes, General Butt Naked. Who's he? Did you ever interview him? I did. General Butt Naked? Yeah. Now where was he a warlord? I did. General Butt-Naked? Yeah. Now where was he a warlord? Liberia.

Liberia, okay. So he fought naked. His real name is Joshua Blah, he's now a preacher. He killed thousands and ate them, here's the thing. He was famous for going into battle naked but also eating the hearts of pure people before he would go into battle. EDMN also ate the voters.

Yes. Which usually is not a good thing for a politician. Not great for the electoral politicians. But no, seriously, General Butt-Naked, I interviewed him. I actually had Stockholm Syndrome because I was hanging out with General Butt-Naked, and there was all these other generals. And Liberia is a terrifying place, because you'd be somewhere, and all of a sudden you're surrounded by people, and your security is like, I don't know what the fuck to do, we're

fucked. And so it was terrifying. We got one guy out of jail, General Bin Laden, we got General Bin Laden out of jail, because they all take names, not the General Bin Laden, but they take names of scary generals. He got him out of jail.. He got him out of jail. Because we got him out of jail, we bribed the jail to get him out. And then all of his people surrounded the building and were like, oh, we're fucked. And because Butt-Naked was so feared, he would get us out of problems, like a lot of problems.

And so to go back to Liberia, Liberia might be fine. I don't know. Monrovia is terrible. The worst slum I've ever seen is a place called West Point, which is the biggest slum in West Africa, and it is in Liberia, and it is terrifying. Because, I remember I bought some kids, you buy a can of Coke or something,

and they put a tiny little bit into plastic bags, and you give it to the kids, like here. Then the bigger kids come, and then all of a sudden there's a fucking war over this little thing of coke, and I felt terrible. But anything, like shoelaces, it is fucking survival. It is whatever the fuck you have,

I'm gonna fucking take it. And it's like you're like, that's terrifying. There is no law, there is no, and by the way, if you have, it doesn't matter, I have no money, everything I have, I look like a fucking bum. Those fucking shoes are fucking worth something to me. So I'm going to kill you, and I'm gonna take your fucking shoes.

Sounds like prison when you're not in prison. It's worse than fucking prison. I can't even describe, it's like, it's beyond terrifying. So you went there, did you stay overnight there? Well, I went and did an interview there, and so I have this thing where whenever I'm about to die, I'm like trying to tell my, explain to my dad why. And in the, in the, in the, in the, we try to get out of

West Point and people surround the car and it's bad. And the film's rolling and I'm like, dad, sorry, we came here to shoot a news story and it got out of control. And I'm a stupid fucking idiot. And I'm sorry. Because I was like, this is fucking it. Like this is like... Because they were surrounding the car. Yeah, we went into the fucking worst place on fucking Earth. And just what the fuck were we thinking?

It sounds like Black Hawk Down. It was like Black Hawk Down. Exactly. Exactly. How'd you get out? Our driver just fuckin', you know, went ape shit and got us the fuck out. Oh, you just plowed through. Oh, I thought you were gonna say we talked our way out.

Oh, fuck no. We had candy bars. No, it was bad, it was very bad. So they were chasing you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. The one time I talked my way out of that I'm proud of was we snuck into Mosul for that.

Did I talk about Mosul? Mosul, Northern Iraq, where they captured one of Saddam, or both sons. Yeah. They were. Yeah, sorry, that's Mosul. Uday and Hussein. Yeah, this is Fallujah story.

We're hiding out in Mosul. I got it wrong, it's Fallujah. So Fallujah, that's one thing. You had asked another story and I've forgotten because I'm drunk. But Fallujah, we were going into Fallujah because that's one story that we had. So yeah, we broke the story on the American military

were using depleted uranium shells. And they said they weren't. And they used them because they're really good at sort of vaporizing a house, you know, and it turns it to dust. We heard this story that Fallujah has more child deformities than Hiroshima and Nagasaki, right? So we're like, okay, well, that's a story.

So we went, and it was the precursor of ISIS was running Fallujah, this militia, and we went in the front door, and they said, no, you can't come in. And we said, okay, so we went the back way and interviewed the doctors and the kids and the things, and there were so many crazy atomic mutations in the children from these depleted uranium shells.

Thank God we fucking interviewed the mayor of Fallujah, because when we went out, the fucking driver went out the first gate where we had been refused and they said, we told you you couldn't fucking come in. So they take us down this in the forts in Afghanistan, sorry, in Iraq. They have these, they look like the triangular barriers on a highway, but they're like 20 feet high and they're bomb blasting. And we drive down it and at the end there's always a fort, you know,

there's a fort with machine guns. And in this one, there's a field of rocks, and that's bad, because that's a killing field. So we end up in this fucking killing field, and we're like, oh. Riding over the rocks? Sorry, there's like these blast walls, you're driving, so it's man-mates, there's blast walls.

And when you get there, there should be a fort or a fucking Nissan hunt or something, communications. It's a field, it's bad, right? Because you have to drive over to get where you're going. No, there's nothing there, there's a field. The field is a killing field, that's where they take you to kill you. Oh, I see. So we get there and we're like,

oh, there's a killing, like we're fucking, and I remember my producer's a big tall guy and he started saying, how, this is no different. He was speaking in falsetto for some reason. There's no, this is no different than when Saddam Hussein was playing, Saddam Hussein, and I, how to think. He's right, I'm like, they don't speak fucking English. All they hear is fucking blah blah blah Saddam Hussein.

Blah blah blah Saddam, blah, Sudan was saying, blah, blah, blah, Sudan was saying, like shut up. So we're there. And it's fucking getting really fucking, like oh shit, I'm talking to my dad in my head again. And I remember going to the guy saying, we're trying to call the embassy, and we're trying to call the fucking dude,

everyone's trying to call everyone. I said, just call the fucking mayor. Just call the mayor. Because we had interviewed the mayor as a fucking favor. I said, just call the mayor. They called the mayor and I said, just call the fucking mayor. Just call the mayor. Because we had interviewed the mayor as a fucking favor. I said, just call the mayor. They called the mayor and I said, I'm trying to get the fucking story out about the children. I'm trying to get the story out.

Tell him I'm trying to get the story out. And it went from us being in the killing field to them saying, let's go have a feast together and you can eat all this fucking bulls balls. I always say that about Middle Easterners. They were killing you or feasting you. There's no in between. My friend!

But once again, Shane, I think I can top you with this story because I have been to all of Puff Daddy's freak off parties. Are you familiar with his freak off parties? You beat me on that one. Wait, wait, wait. I've never been to a freak off. I have been to all of them. Do you know what his code name is at his freak off parties. You beat me on that one. Wait, wait, wait. Thankfully I never did do a freak off. I have been to all of them.

Wow. Do you know what his code name is at his freak off parties? No. General Butt Naked. Oh, ba-dum-bum. You brought it all around. You brought it all around. That's what Trump calls a weave.

You just did a weave. Exactly. Whenever somebody was like, get General Butt Naked, we need more oil. You just did a wee. It was like they meant go get puffy. I think that's going to be the viral thing. General Puff Daddy General Butt naked. No, that's even another thing.

The new scary general in Liberia is called General Puff Daddy and his nickname here was Buttnaked. By the way, Puff Daddy, one of the greatest names ever. He should never have kept chained Diddy and P Diddy. Puff Daddy, perfect, done. Not as good as General Buttnaked, come on. I'm not saying Puffy hasn't done worse things. I'm just saying he should have kept that name.

Keep the name. Keep the name. Puff Daddy was the coolest name. And now that he's not using it. What would be, you're gonna take it over? It would be perfect for me. You'd have fucked it. I am Puff Daddy. I mean, I literally am that.

I'm those things wrapped into one man. But, you know, people would think of him and the parties. There's all kinds of legacy. Yeah. Yeah, those parties are still going on, but they're just dancing now. Okay.

Okay, so we've covered the two, that's one and two. I love this line of questioning. North Korea, Monrovia, Liberia, a surprise choice to me. Dude. Three would be what, third worst? Someplace else where you were thinking you were gonna die? Kandahar. Kandahar, okay.

Kandahar, Afghanistan, a very solid choice. Home of the Taliban. Home of the Taliban and the brave. The brave Taliban. It's odd they have the same anthem we do. Home of the Taliban, yeah. Now I've heard they're bad people but are they just really misunderstood? I mean look, everybody has different views on women. I mean, you

know, Harrison Butcher and I don't agree on everything but I don't think he's a terrible person. Am I wrong to think that it's the same way with the Taliban? Just misunderstanding? The Taliban have been killing people for a long fucking time. And they're going to keep killing people for a long fucking time. And it's a... Look, I will say they're the best freedom fighters in the world because they never fucking give up. Do you want to go there if you're a fucking liberal wit who likes to fucking make waggish jokes?

Where'd you stay in Kandahar? So that's a great question. You can't stay you have to stay again You have to stay in guest houses and they will report guest houses in And they will they will report you to the Taliban because it's the Taliban's home So you say guest houses you mean Airbnb? Yeah, like Afghani Guest houses. I don't know what how do you arrange the guest house thing? Is it a, you know. You don't wanna go by a single email. Because that's what happened in that movie

where Cameron Diaz, which houses Kate Wendell. You have to have local fixers fix you. By the way, if you don't wear like some sort of chuppel in Kandahar, you're fucking done. I mean, I was there, you wanna hear a crazy story? I don't want some sort of chuppel in Kandahar, you're fucking done. I mean, I was there, you wanna hear a crazy story? I don't wanna talk about it.

You like this story. You're gonna like this story. Okay, there's a guy named, the reason why I was in Kandahar, there's a guy named General Abdul Rizq, otherwise known as the Taliban Killer. He's the Colonel Kurtz of Afghanistan. And what happened was, he was a young guy. His parents get killed by the Taliban, right?

So he goes through the tunnels into Pakistan, into Wazir, northwest frontier province. And he sweeps a floor. He's illiterate. Like, you want to talk about poor, sweeping a floor in a fucking Waziristan fucking, you know, not rich. So he sneaks back in as a teenager. And it's kind of like the Artful Dodger kind of shit. They're wearing, like, Adam and the Ants, like threads of weird shit.

And they look crazy. They kind of look good, I've got to say. Their style is... Right. That sounds like it's dope. If we have an Adam and the Ants picture, it'd be great. No one understands it. But they look pretty good. But he started killing Taliban dudes because they killed his parents, right?

Sure. So when the Americans invade, they say, anyone who's fighting the Taliban, right, come, come, and we're going to give them training. So, they train him and they give him money. So, he goes back. The reason why I say Colonel Kurtz is he goes back to Kandahar, where he's from, and all Taliban activity goes to zero. He kills everybody.

There's no Taliban, like, in Kandahar during his period. He also becomes the biggest drug dealer in the world. He has two billion dollars of gold billion. His brother killed Karzai's brother, the Prime Minister's brother. And so I go down there to interview him and I'm wearing like fucking full on plastic thing and I interview him, spent two days down there.

And the first day I went to go interview him, I pulled up to his compound and there were two masks on the ground. And then they said, you can't interview him today. And then we had to go back and I said, and they said, oh, those masks were human faces. They were bombs and they blew off their their own faces off their own bodies. It happened.

It happened. So I go back and interview them. So I fly to Kabul, right? And Kabul, this is how good Kandahar is. Kabul is like Paris in the springtime. It's like, there's food. Right. And there's beds.

The capital. But it's the capital. Kabul usually is people are terrified. People are coldly fucking. I mean, it's the capital of one of the worst places in the world, but everything I've ever learned about it was that if you have to be in Afghanistan, at least be in Kabul, because there was the government there.

Well, just one hotel, the Serena, it periodically gets bombed or shot or attacked, but it's a hotel. But it's a hotel. Yeah. And there was- Well, just one hotel, the Serena, it periodically gets bombed or shot or attacked, but it's a hotel. But it's a hotel. Yeah. So Kandahar doesn't have- so when you come from Kandahar to Kabul- I mean, why the brunch has to end at 11, I don't know. There you go.

So anyway, I get there and the American embassy reaches out to me and they have DEA, Treasury, and somebody weird, Treasury, Treasury, and, somebody weird, Treasury, no CIA, it wasn't weird, it was CIA, Treasury, DEA. And so they take me to the bottom of the basement of the American embassy, and they say, okay, we're gonna trade with you on deep cover, all these stories.

Give us Rizek, what's going on with Rizek? And I'm like, what do you mean what's going on with Rizek? And they're like, you trade trade and we'll give you stories. And I'm like, I fucking asked him questions in English, he responded and passed you until I translated, I don't know what the fuck. Give me, Rizek is your guy. Also, if you dropped a dime on Rizek,

wouldn't you be then killed? Also, it's not great to drop dime on your own fucking sources in your own interview. Especially when the people you're dropping the dime on are the Taliban. Also, well not the Taliban, the Taliban killer, Colonel Kurtz, but my whole thing is he's your guy. Why the fuck are you asking me anything?

So to go back to it, you're fucked if you do, you're fucked if you're out, you don't. Don't visit Kandahar. Number three, bango! Long-winded, long-winded, but I get there in the end, Bill. Long-winded, that's what a podcast is, is long wind. I'm learning from the best. I love your podcast, Bill.

I love it too, thank you. Funny as fucking shit. No, I'm so glad you're on this network. You're perfect for this club, Random Network. This is exactly what we should be doing. And don't worry about long wind. When I first started these, we did an hour and everyone was like, you're cheating us. An hour.

I don't understand the American attention span. It's either seven seconds or two hours. Nothing in between. Two hours of its audio, seven seconds of its audio. It's just unbelievable. It's like, I don't get it. But yes, no. All right, so what's the number four?

Number four, worst place. We have North Korea, Monrovia, Liberia, Kandahar, Afghanistan. OK, I don't even know if it's a country, but I think it is. South Sudan. South Sudan. South Sudan is a country now. Yes. It wasn't when I was there. And that is again a very solid choice, one that I would have guessed would be in the

top four. Yeah. No, South Sudan. It was not when I was there. Sudan, for fans of George Clooney, is where Darfur is. I say that because- That ignores Sudan. I've been there too.

I snuck into Darfur. That's not recommended. is. I say that because- You ignore Sudan. I've been there too. I snuck into Darfur. Not recommended. Province of Sudan and George Clooney did a lot to bring aid there. I mean, he has my great admiration for using his- He's a good cat. Using his celebrity. I don't agree with his wife on Israel, but let's not-

I'm not familiar- You don't have to go there. Well- South Sudan was not South Sudan when I was there And it was grim Well, I had cereal that tasted like rotten chicken. Well, I mean it's famous for one thing famine Yeah, well know that yes. Yeah, okay. You got on the tourist posters. Yes come for the family. Yeah stay for the Ebola nobody I

I the family. Yeah, stay for the Ebola. No, but I remember going. Oh, we kid the third world. No, well, Sudan's fine. Like Sudan, much like Venezuela, could be rich. I mean, one of the things about Sudan, Darfur, so I snuck into Darfur, speaking of Darfur, speaking of racism, all you hear about is Arabon, black, ethnic cleansing, etc. And the reason why I actually went to South Sudan was

I went to Darfur, snuck into Darfur. Again, stupid, do not do that kids. And we found out that they... How do you sneak in? That's a great question. You can watch my documentary on bikes. But anyway, I snuck in, essentially... Through Chad? No. I was in Sudan and I went with the UN on a sort of a relief plane, on a hitchhike,

and I got in and there's a guy named Mini Manawi who was the head of the sort of anti... He was the anti-janjuid. The janjuid are the dudes who have the bad guys and the thing. By the way, they look fucking great, but terrifying. And so, so, Minnie Minow- They're kind of the Taliban of Sudan. There you go.

The janjuid. The janjuid. They were terrifying, like super terrifying. But so, Minnie Minow-y was fighting them. But not as bad as Israel. Okay, too. No, no. So, they're pretty bad. I mean, I'm gonna say, Yeah, pretty bad. I don't know as Israel. K2. No, no. So they're pretty bad.

I mean, I'm going to say- Yeah, pretty bad. I don't know if anyone's worse than the Gentiles. No, nobody's worse than them. But we found out when we were there that they had found oil and that the whole thing was just a pretense to get other people off the land so they could get the oil. And they said, well, there's no difference than the Liberty Wells Chevron down in South Sudan.

And we're like, South Sudan? What the fuck? So we flew down to South Sudan, which was having a full on civil war. That's how they became a country. There you go. And so with Basher, the guy from Cartoon, so we went down there and I was filming this fucking civil war about oil, which I was like breaking the story, so I was super stoked, but it was fucking grim. I've gotta say, dude, it was not enjoyable. So that's number four. Well, I can understand that.

I mean, South Sudan and I wish them luck as a country, and I don't blame them because, you know, huh, the bureaucracy in Khartoum, I mean, where all the elitists are. In Khartoum. That's true. But, you know, theitists are in Khartoum. But you know, the real people are in South Sudan. I mean, am I right? They're like the people people, not like the fancy goat milk eaters and fucking Khartoum.

Khartoum is, okay, so they have people like this all day long in cartoon with machine guns pointed at the sky. Why? Because the Americans are coming. Well, I mean, we did bomb the... To go back to Black Hawk Down. Well, also during Clinton's administration.

Did we bomb? Yes, we bombed something that we said was building weapons and it looks like it was a... Port Sudan, I think. It looked like it was a pharmaceutical. Yeah, maybe it was Port Sudan, yeah. I think they were making aspirin and we thought... Yeah, Port Sudan, that was Port Sudan.

We're making nuclear weapons. Okay, so we don't get everyone right. Yeah, no. Yeah, no. Yeah, no, cartoon's not good. And like South Sudan was worse. I mean, yeah, it was, yeah. So that's number four. There's a movie called Cartoon.

Is there? Yeah. Why would I say it if there was? Which is about the battle that took place in 1850. Well, I know that one. Was it Gordon? Yes, 1859. Yeah, Gordon, yeah.

Laurence Olivier is in it. Oh, I love him. Larry. What happened was the British conquered Africa north to south, and the French conquered Africa east to west. And they met at Cartoon. And of course it was wrong. I think Gordon got fucked in that one, didn't he?

You know what, I don't remember much. If I remember correctly, the British, that's the Four Feathers. Yeah, it's that kind of stuff. It's Michael Caine and that one. That's another good one. About South Africa, yeah. Well, the Michael Caine one is Man Who Would Be King, which is Afghanistan. Oh, that's Afghanistan.

Afghanistan, yeah. That's Alexander the Great. Right. Which, by the way, come on, Alexander the Great in Afghanistan. It is, yeah. The Man Who Would Be King? Yeah, so they're in India. They go to Kifiristan, which is Afghanistan,

because you have to go through the mountains to get there. And they think there's Sikander, which is Alexander the Great. And so they think that they're, because they're, what's it called, what the plane meets the thing with the fucking masons. They think they're masons, which Alexander the Great was a mason. So they see the masons, so they think they're kings. What's that, a club? The masons, Freemasons, come on.

It's a club, right? It's a... Are you kidding me? Freemasons, come on. Alexander the Great was a Freemason? Well, that's in the movie. I don't know if it's for true, but... Freemasons, I feel like...

The Man Who Would Be King is about Peachy and Daniel, who go north to fucking Kifiristan to become kings. And that's what happens. And it's Afghanistan, and they go, and he gets his fucking egg got off. That's a pretty good Michael Caine. There we go.

I think your history's way off. Anyway, I'll check it out. No, that's the story. It's Kipling. It's Kipling. And the story is that they see Alexander the Great's thing, which was that they were masons, so they become kings. And then when Roxanne bites him and sees blood,

they're like, well, you're not a fucking god, so they cut the fucking head off. So here's my question. When you're on one of these shoots, we see the footage that you get, which is, of course, a tiny percentage of the time you actually spent there. Like you're in Kandahar, you're in Monrovia,

you're in any of these fucking hellholes. I mean, you know, I know Trump's a bad person and I certainly hate him and don't want him to be president, but you know, shithole, it wasn't exactly wrong about places in this world, you're in, shithole. It wasn't exactly wrong about places in this world. You're in a shithole. What do you do during the downtime? Jack off.

Shut your mouth. Wait, jack off? Yeah, like it's a stress release. You're stressed to fuck. But you can't do it all day. Sort of. Really? You sort of can. I mean, there's a lot of waiting.

Definitely. I understand the waiting. There's a lot of waiting for warlords. You're in kind of a shitty room. You've got no connectivity. You got no computer. You have no phone. You have your dick.

You have your dick. Dick's always there, baby. You have your dick and you have your mind. Yeah, there you go. Just replaying shit. And what are you jerking off to? That chick, I saw her eyes through the slit near Burka. Well, there's something called memory.

I know, I understand. And no, look, I mean, you know, some of the best times are actually hanging out with the crew. Started to dig Burgaard like the best DP ever. You hang out with the crew. So to Jake Burgaard, like the best DP ever, you hang out with the crew, you know, you eat some chicken to go back to the worst fucking GDP, the best fucking chicken, Liberia is a great chicken. Like you just, you have some weird fucking chicken, which is going to make you have the shits. And you, you spend a lot of time on the toilet, which just explains the jacking off. There it is.

I mean, what are you going to do? And maybe do some writing, do some reading. There's a lot of thinking, which is why when you're there, you do some good interviews, because you're sitting there, you've got to get metaphysical. But to go back to your point, you're a pretty fucking smart guy. You go to the metaphysical. You're like, well, let's get to what the questions are we should really ask.

And so instead of just being like, why is the Taliban so mad at us? Like you sort of, you're so fucked up and you're so, that you get in there and you're like, okay, let's talk about humanity. Well, I've, once again, Shane, I have a very similar experience. I was making a movie in 1985 in Mexico called Club Med,

and we shot it at the Club Med, and oh my god. There was like weeks on it. It was come everywhere. Well, I mean, I wasn't in the shot for like two weeks in a row. What am I gonna do there? I mean, very often the tennis courts were so crowded, we had to play doubles.

I mean, it was just a nightmare. I mean, I remember being, you know, snorkeling. How many times can you look at the same blowfish? I mean after a while the whole fish was like, okay, why don't you take a picture man? All right, I gotta go back to my day job. This was so awesome. I'm so glad you're here with the crew.

Great to see you man. It's an honor to have you on the club random, whatever it is. You know what, I'm gonna glad you're here with the crew. Great to see you, man. It's an honor to have you. It's my honor. On the Club Random, whatever it is. Oh, you know what? I'm gonna read my, I will often forget. Yeah, there we go, come on. November 1st and 2nd at Vegas. Ah, the David Copperfield Theater at the MGM Grand. November 16th, The Beacon in New York.

Oh my God, what a great, and then they say Washington, D.C. That's my, the whole, there's only four more days you can see me live this year. The act is off the hook, you should go see it. November 17th is the theater at the MGM National Harbor in Washington, DC. I think that might be in Maryland, but I may be wrong. They're all very close together there.

Anyway, come out to see me. I may not be doing that much longer, and I'm having a ball doing it and this and thank you and back to work thank you buddy okay thank you bro that was awesome so much fun that was really great we'll do it again love you man you too pal You too, pal. Biggest fan. Thank you.

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