Club Random with Bill Maher - Shannon Elizabeth | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: August 10, 2026

Bill Maher reunites with his former Tomcats co-star Shannon Elizabeth for a revealing conversation about fame, fantasy, and the unexpected path her life took after American Pie. Shannon explains why she joined OnlyFans, where she draws the line, and why Bill still can’t quite understand the appeal of an online fantasy. The conversation turns personal as Shannon shares why she left Hollywood for South Africa and devoted her life to animal conservation—including the heartbreaking moment that changed her path and inspired her work protecting endangered rhinos and elephants.Along the way, Bill and Shannon debate cosmetic procedures, relationships, and why sex before dinner simply makes more sense. Support our Advertisers: -Try Claude for free at https://www.claude.ai/clubrandom -Try ZipRecruiter for free at https://www.ziprecruiter.com/random  -Get 50% off plus 1 free breakfast item per box at https://www.factormeals.com/random50off with code random50off Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://billmaher.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Club Random Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clubrandom.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it.  For advertising opportunities please email: [e-mail] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. Whether life serves you an ace or an unexpected backhand,

the high-protein yogurt, Oikos Pro, is there to feed your strength and help you turn every challenge into a smash. Oikos Pro helps build strong muscles and support muscle recovery with high protein and contains no added sugar because true strength isn't about being able to take the hits. It's about being able to bounce back. Oikos Pro Feed your strength. Visit oikos.ca for more details. I don't know about you, but I'm a big fan of green in all its forms.

I get it. And for fellow lovers of, well, Green, the Club Random merch store, has you covered. Grinders, papers, and Zippo lighters, all designed to support your relationship with green, wink, wink, whatever, and whatever philosophy comes with that for you. Head to ClubRandum.com and bring home some random. There must be more people each day wanting to talk. The only relationship I need are the relationships on Onlyfans that I'm building with all of these people. Do you think people who have fantasy like that are not hoping the fantasy becomes a reality? Shannon?

Hello? Oh my gosh. It's been so long. It's been so long. How are you? You're the same. You are. The object of desire from.

American boy is aged, not at all. So good to see you. My co-star and what was that movie? We're in a movie together. Which one? Yeah, my memory is shot. Not 11 Academy Awards, I believe it was nominated for. Are you talking about Love Actually?

No. Oh, okay. I'm fucking with it. It was a really, it was like that era when people did like, you know, raunchy, like American Prime. Jay and Silent Bob? No, that's a great movie. And you're great in it.

Oh, thank you. That, I feel, is a real great performance. I love that movie. I want to talk to him. Kevin? Yeah, he got mad at me one. Oh, no. Yeah, something I said about Stan Lee.

Oh, no. People. I feel hard to keep on their good side. I know. No, it was called, oh, my God. I was the bad guy. We didn't have any scenes together. I don't know why I did.

It was the year 2000. I was doing politically incorrect. Uh-huh. Well, we did politically incorrect together. Yes, we did that too. Yeah? There's the sign. Yes, I saw it.

Isn't that amazing? It makes a great art piece, right? I love it. I mean, it wasn't a scary movie, was it? No, no. It was, you were like the star with Jerry O'Connell. Oh, Tomcats. Won so many awards.

Yes, you're right, Tom Cats. Yeah, we didn't have. They flew me. Why I even took this? I hadn't acted in like, you know, I went into what I should have always been doing, which is, you know, talking about politics on television. But, you know, when you're a young comic, then the next step is you were, I did sitcoms and, you know, I'm sure you've seen my murder, she wrote. Yeah, of course. Well, of course.

Well, of course. Well, I mean, that movie wasn't, it didn't turn out the way it was originally written on paper. It was the way it was written and when it was cast was one thing. And then they brought someone in that changed the whole thing halfway through filming. And that was the problem with that movie. Now, this is a back. I'm not sure that was the only problem with that movie, but I feel like I am getting a backstory that I never knew. Again, I had one day.

Why I even did it? I don't know. I was over that part of my career, but I guess I thought it would be fun. It was in Vegas. I remember I did still do my show. They got a jet for me. I flew in the night before. Got up at the course crack of dawn, which is like to me the middle of the night.

did all my scenes and then rushed back to L.A. on the jet and tired as fuck did my show that night. But I was the bad guy. I was like the guy at the casino. Yeah. And he was like in debt, Jerry O'Connell or some shit. You know, you're saying it like I just watched it. I haven't seen it since I filmed it and I might not have even seen it all then. Okay, well, anyway. I'm the worst.

I was like the bad guy who was threatening Jerry. Okay. And, you know, I wasn't, of course, the bad guy, the upper guy. I wasn't the henchman himself, please. That was some gorilla. But I was, I'll sick my gorilla on you if you don't, Mr. Rumer. Right. That was my part.

And we shot it all in one day, and people still talk about it, Shannon. Really? That they do. In a good or a bad way? Oh, they still just, it's used in acting class. That's funny. But who else was in that? It was, gosh, you really put me on the spot.

Jamie Presley was in it? Jamie Presley. Yes. Wow, you're right. And I mean, I can picture the people in my head, but naming them is really difficult for me. No, no, no, that's all I would remember. Yeah. And I remember the billing, Bill Maher in a...

Who was the director? Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, it's been, what, 25? Yeah, but I worked on it one day. I'm not supposed to remember the director. You worked with them for how how long was the shoot? But it was 25 years ago. I know. I mean, we go through this thing called menopause and our brain goes. What do you mean we? We, we women, we women. As women go through the scene. Don't throw that net over me.

Well, there's such a thing as male. They say there's such a thing as male. They say there's such a thing as male. Called manopause. Yeah. I'm not sure what that is. Men definitely go through a midlife crisis. Well, it's hormones, right? So, everyone's hormones change. It just affects women, I think, in a different way than men. But I think men do feel it. It's just maybe you don't get the hot flashes. No. Exactly.

We buy sports cars. Yeah? I mean, that's what men do. They like... That's okay, too. It's okay, yes. I mean, they do things like hair plugs or... Start a podcast.

Oh, gal. Alice to the moon. Yeah. I feel like I... went through a silly little period when I was 50, which is a little late. 40 is more the age when men go through that. It's like, oh, my gosh, my life didn't turn out the way I wanted to. And, you know, my kids hate me and my wife doesn't fuck me anymore.

I avoided all that. Really? Yeah, my kids don't hate me because they don't exist. Right. Same thing with my wife. So. I mean, and sometimes it's just better that way. For some people, I mean, I don't know.

have kids. I don't have a husband, and I'm going to keep it that way. You don't need one. Very happy with that. You don't need one. No. Does this come up on OnlyFans? No, because on OnlyFans, you know, it's different because... It's the fantasy that... Yeah, I mean, I'm chatting with people, but I'm not like trying to meet up with them and, you know, have an affair. I would not... I would not expect, but they are. I don't think... Aren't they harboring the fantasy? It's a fantasy.

Okay, but do you think people who have fantasies like that are not in some little part of their heart of hearts hoping the fantasy becomes a reality? I mean, look, it never meet your heroes, you know, like we know how that goes.

So, I don't, I wouldn't say never. Some have... Some surprising. Some surprise. you and some are you're correct they really disappoint you there it's it's something you shouldn't see up close but you know when i when i meet fans i i really try to make sure to give them time and to be as friendly as i can be to give them to be the person they were hoping i would be right because i don't ever want them to be like oh i'm i used to love her and now i hate her like

I never want anyone to have that feeling. I have the same exact feeling. Yeah. When I'm, you know, when I go out and people come up to me, I'm, I'm, the people around they always say, you're, you're so nice to people. I'm so, why wouldn't I be? Yeah. You know, they're, it's, first of all, it takes guts to walk up to somebody, even if you're

saying something nice. And they're your fans. They love you. And they love you. Yeah. How could you kick that kiss forward in them out? You know, they love you, and it's, and I love them for them. it. And I mean, I guess we all reach our fans on a certain wavelength. With me, it's, I feel

it's very deep because the reason they love me is because what I say means something to them. Yeah. They feel like no one else says it this way. I either agree with him and nobody else is saying it. And so that is just such a beacon in the dark. Or he said it and like, wow, I didn't think of it that way, and now I get it. And that is a deep, I would almost say, intimate connection. People that are your fans are kind of everything. Like, they're amazing. And I know I've been a fan of people where, I mean, I met Garth Brooks and I just started crying.

I'm like, my friend's like, why are you crying? Like, don't cry now. We're going to take a photo. But just being in his presence because I was such a huge fan. My emotions got the best of me. And I've had people do that where they cry. And so I know how that feels, you know. And you just, you want that moment of connection

and you carry that with you the rest of your life. I've got to dial up, Garth Brooks. You know, I love it when I find somebody who, because I get music like the old-fashioned way. I use the old iPod. Yeah. I won't bore you with why it's better, but it is, and I buy the music,

I'll actually pay for it, because I think they should get paid for it, right off iTunes, and I download it. And, like, there's somebody who I've always known the name, I know he's huge, I don't, I couldn't, like, sing one note. You don't know the song, The Dance?

I don't know any of the songs. It's my favorite song in the world. So I'm going to do that, because I bet it's good, because that many people liked it. And he was past the point when country music, music was like corny.

So I bet you it's like that country pop sound, which I like from a lot of people. Yeah. He's amazing. Listen to Friends in Love Places. Oh, I'm going to listen to all. I know, I know the title. I know that's iconic. Now, I'm going to do that.

He's going to be my next one. I just did that with the group called the Pet Shop Boys. Yeah, yeah, I remember them. I remember the name. I never listened to them. And then something made me like do it. And I downloaded their greatest hits. And I'm like, whoa, this is just my kind of shit.

and it's very sophisticated. It's great, and it's like from the 80s. Yeah. So it's, like, awesome that I have new music, even though it was 40 years ago. But to me, it's new. Yeah. And if it came out today,

I bet you it would do okay. I mean, not great, because every generation has to find its own shit. It was your favorite artist. Well, I mean, I'd have to put the Beatles at the top of the pantheon, but, like, if I had to take music to a desert island, I don't know, because, like, I've also heard them,

most. Yeah. So maybe I would want somebody who I didn't hear that much. As long as you know you like them. Oh, I would have to love them. Yeah. But, you know, and there's so many people who are who are great. I mean, music is, I would, I don't envy anyone getting into that business. It's super competitive. There's already been a zillion great songs written. How many notes are there that you I just... It's the combination and it's the lyrics. I know, but even a combination is a finite formula. That's why when a song takes you, it's so great.

Because, yeah, there are a lot of songs. But now they have platforms like YouTube, and people can put themselves out there. It's not like the old days. You know, people always say, how can I get into acting now? It's very different now than when I was acting, like in the beginning. People can do things online and be discovered, and they can film their own films and put it on.

line and I mean look at some of the top movie grossing movies in the country these were YouTubers that made them the ones out in the summer yeah yeah obsession and back rooms or what is it called something like that yeah it's um yeah I haven't seen them I'm anxious to see them I might love them the one backrooms now what's it called there I don't know but it's like it sounds to me the way it's described like something that really maybe not a Gen Zier is going to go, what the fuck is this? Because it's a lot of like empty rooms with fluorescent lighting.

It sounds like a Sears store in 2005. And everyone just said, what's Sears? Yeah, exactly. But I don't know, people seem to like it. But that generation definitely has issues, shall we say, that I don't have, you know. Yeah, I don't know if I would like it or not. I mean, I remember when Blair Witch came out.

I remember that, too. And it was so hyped that by the time I saw it, I was expecting this and I got this. If I had seen it before I heard the hype, I might have liked it more. Correct. I had the same feeling. Like, this is what all the fuss is about? Yeah. Yeah, I think I needed to see it before the fuss. Right, because then you expected something it wasn't supposed to be, which was just kind of a, Is this even really a movie?

That was also kind of the beginning of the whole handheld. Well, yeah, it was like it was shot on a phone because it was supposed to look that way. Yeah. I mean, the people who don't remember, they go into the woods. There's this myth. There's a Blair witch in the woods. And so they're just like shooting each other on their phone, right? Or something like that.

I guess this was before. It can't be that because this was before smartphones. But this was old school like video cams, I think. Yeah, the big ones that look so ancient now. Right. Yeah, I think it was that. But I still don't quite know what goes on on OnlyFans. Like it's a, you say you talk to the fans.

So it's a way for me to connect with my fans. I know, but like, walk Grandpa through the, like, through, like, how the mechanics of how it happens. Because I really don't know. Like, like, it's not a, like a webcam. I mean, that's the old version. It's sharing photos and sharing videos,

but instead of me doing it... But with individuals or with a million people at a time? One-on-one. One-on-one, always. Always. So interesting. In fact, we tried to do this when American Pie came out. I did my website.

I was one of the first actors, I think, to have a website because at that point, only adult entertainers had websites. Actors didn't have websites. So everybody thought I was crazy for building a website. And so we tried to do like a fan area where I could chat with people one-on-one, but the system kept crashing. So the technology wasn't there yet. We just, I mean, we did it with Maxim as well, and it crashed.

You're a system-crasser. I'm a system-crash-er, sure. But now the technology's there. So instead of me sharing the inner workings of my life on Instagram, I chose to do it on there where I could have more one-on-on-com. one with my fans. And it was just a different platform. It was just a choice. And that's what OnlyFans was always meant to be for fans. My understanding is, yes, there have been adult entertainers that use it for other types of adult entertainment. But everyone can do what they

want with it. It doesn't mean that that's what it was built for and that's what you're doing if you're on there. True. I mean, you could be sharing recipes or poetry, but mostly it's men masturbating. I look Which is not wrong There is a need for masturbation I don't know that that's what's happening Not when I'm chatting to him I mean I look

Well you're not even naked When people no Not necessarily But see that can be That can even be even sexism I haven't decided like exactly where My boundaries are going to be I've just started

It's only been a couple months So where my boundaries are You know The launch is all right always really good. And then it becomes a steady thing, but it's not about that for me. It's really connecting with people and being able to share. Because I was never good at like filming myself and putting it out there. In fact, I pulled so far the other way because everybody, you go to dinner and everybody's on their phone. So I pulled this way where I was like, I'm never

going to be on my phone at dinner when I'm with friends. I'm never going to be that person. And then I would forget to do any content. I would just forget. It wasn't on my radar. And for years, I've said, I need to start doing content. I need to start sharing. I want to put this out there. And so finally, instead, I never really could make myself do it with Instagram.

But with OnlyFans, you know, I've hired some people that have helped me, keep me intact, keep me focused so that they always say, okay, we need to know what you're doing this week. We need your content. And it just keeps me going. It reminds me if I start forgetting, then I do that. And then I go on and I chat with people. It's funny, you know, Bo Derek was here recently. You know Bo Derek. Yeah.

Okay. And she was in the ultimate sort of man midlife crisis movie, which is 10. Do you remember 10? Fagely, I know what it is. Right. She was like, it's funny, we were also talking about the fact that America, like sort of only has like one hot girl for like a decade. Like she was one and you were one of those.

So was Carmen Electra and so was Pamela Anderson. Like boy when they find that one girl is, I mean and that girl is like super cute like you are and still are and so were those girls. But it's not the only cute girl in the country, but it's sort of like that for, it's like you have the crown. We will get boners for no one else but you

for the next 10 years. Shannon Elizabeth, you are the, the queen and then it's you know Pam Anderson was that and Carmen and yeah I don't know who it is now but it's it's amazing but yeah that's a midlife crisis movie because the guy Dudley Moore you know he just fixates on her he doesn't even know who she is he's 40 as a 40th birthday party he sees her driving by she's in a wedding dress she's about to get married yeah and he's still fixate on it it was a great way to say men lose their minds And women make them do it.

Yeah. Do you remember a film called Two Moon Junction? Yes, I do. Who was in that? Cheryl and Finn. And she was also engaged to be married. And it was about a circus comes to town. And she has this, like, steamy affair with one of the circus workers.

That was a hot movie. You know what else is in that vein? If you haven't seen it, a walk on the moon? Mm-mm. Oh, you should dial it up tonight. Okay. A walk on the moon. Diane Lane.

Okay. Yeah. It was beautiful. Beautiful. Yeah. Yes. Stunning. Stunning, elegant.

Aged gracefully. Yes. Wasn't like, you know, I mean. And how do you guys feel about that? About what? Well, aging gracefully and looking older versus doing everything you can to not look older. Well, you know, people say I've had work done, Jenon, and it is just the stupidest lie. I can't believe where they're getting their shit from, but you know the top of it.

They won't make up anything to make you look mad. Of course. No, I mean, it's funny. It's kind of like fake tits. There's good ones and bad ones. There's good big ones and bad big ones and good little ones and bad little ones. That's funny. I'm remembering this now.

You were in a magazine, like when they had the Lattie magazines. Maxim. That kind of. They were very. popular for stuff. Yeah. Stuff. Somebody mentioned that the other day.

I'm like, stuff. I hadn't heard that name in forever. Yeah. I'm sure you were on the cover of stuff. I think I was. I just, the things you remember, I remember in the interview part, somebody, there was some part where they said something about a movie you did and it was like, and they were going to get you padding. And you said, padding, excuse me? I don't remember that.

Yes, I could show it. Well, I couldn't. I mean, I guess I could, because we could find anything on the internet. I mean, if it happened, yeah. Even if it didn't happen, we'll find it. I just thought it was funny because there was a picture of you, like right next to there. I thought you were rightly, like, I don't need patting. Rightly. Rightly offended.

You needed padding. Yeah. I mean, look, to be fair, I think they patted me in scary movie because, like, they had, my boobs were like below my chin at one point. Like in the one scene, like in the beginning when I'm like shaking my head, I always look my boobs. I'm sure I was padded there. Like, they were big. But you were wearing clothing you're saying? Yeah. But like

they were very padded and pushed up. Wow. I believe. I think that was a bad choice on the director's part. You know? I mean... I mean, because only, I'm going to say this because I've seen those pictures in stuff and they were topless.

You know, they weren't... Wait, I didn't do topless and stuff. I don't think so. Maybe maximum. Not... I did. Playboy. No, no, this, I think that, oh, maybe it was Playboy. That's the only time I think I did need it, was Playboy. Okay. But they, you can't really pat anything if you're naked.

That's why I was confused. That's why I was confused, because I was picturing the naked. Okay, I've, I've mixed up my stroke books and it's a bad thing I do. I'm not going to lie, I saved some of those magazines for a very long time. See, you could bring them to Comic-Con like everyone else. and I'll sign them for you. Is that why you're here? You were doing something in Vegas for...

I was doing something for my nonprofit. What's that? Oh, for your rhino. So it's for wildlife. Okay. Actually brought you one of the gift bags from it. You know, I'm a PETA board member. I do.

You've always been such a huge animal person. You know who I saw the other night? Because she came to my Mark Twain Award thing at the Kennedy Center is Ingrid Newkirk. Oh, yes. So, yeah. Oh, amazing. Nice that she was.

The work that you do for animals is unbelievable. I don't do any work for animals that I always say this to the people are, Bill, you do so much, I don't do so much, I do what I can. But advocating is a lot. I don't go in you, I advocate. But that is such a small thing next to what Ingrid does. She goes to India and, like, takes the actual paw out of the chain. Yeah, but, I mean, Ricky Jervais says the same thing. I don't do anything.

But you guys do a lot because. We do it behind the line cowards do best. You know, we do what we can. No, I'm just saying... But that's it. Everything you can is what's... Everything you can. Exactly.

Needed. Oh, no, I don't feel guilty about it. I'm not going to India and taking the Poha. I feel bad for the poor thing. But, I mean, you know, she's a saint. Ingrid Newkirk is a saint. I mean, and she's not young anymore doing this. You know.

When it's your mission, you just kind of know, like, what you're meant to be doing. I mean, before she came along, I don't know anybody who's... changed the view of an issue, of the public on an issue, so much as Ingrid Newkirker and Peter. Before she came along, it just wasn't any issue. You could do anything to an animal at any time. If you're making a movie and you wanna look like

the horse fell down, trip them. They're probably gonna break a leg and die, but you can do it. You wanna put a monkey in a tuxedo and make them ride a try. Whatever, circuses, I mean, they, have done a lot to get rid of circuses, a lot to roll back. Even a horse racing now, they say,

is circling the drain. Yeah. This is, and fur, and it just wasn't on people's radars at all. Yeah. And for a lot of people, they still don't give a fuck what they do to animals. It's just not even an issue for them.

Yeah. But I know it is for us. It is. It is. And it's not mostly rhinos? I thought you were... No, we were inspired by a blind black rhino, But this was after it was already going for many, many years.

So we started out over there. You know, I had Animal Avengers here, which was a dog and cat rescue in L.A. I started that in 2001. And so right around American Pie. And then after running it for a very long time, I just knew I wanted to help more animals on a bigger scale and kind of went on a journey of discovery

and realized that there was a poaching crisis and that animals like rhinos and elephants could go, in our lifetime. And I saw a video of a ranger in the field, and he was filming an elephant that had been poached. And her trunk was off to the side. And then you saw the rest of her, and then she moved. I could see just barely make out her mouth, and she moved.

And my heart dropped, and I just started crying, and it flipped a switch in me. And I said, I don't know what I can do, but that's what I need to go try to help with. Like, I didn't know they were suffering. like this. And it's so much worse than even just that because with like a lot of the babies, they stay with the mothers even after they're poached. And then quite often they get dehydrated or they'll die from the lions and hyenas. I mean, there's a horrible photo of

it's a rhino that's been poached and the baby's standing at the back end of the mother and the hyenas are eating on the front end. and it just it kills me I tell people I can't even see the videos anymore that they want to send

that's so horrific I'm a baby about it I can't either I just can't I mean it's like I need to know I need to know so I can do something

but I can't watch it all the time You live in South Africa now right I mean you're really on the ground doing it yeah and are we making progress is there hope yeah there is hope I mean there's a lot of people

who are on our page. It's really, like everything, if you want to fix anything in this country, this world, it's about organization. I know that's not sexy. I mean, not to always be ragged on the younger generation, but they are incredibly stupid about issues, what they think is important.

They get all their information from TikTok. In Facebook, yeah. So, you know, so they're all there. It's all about Gaza, and let's go with the Intifada and just this stupidest, the communist. Let's bring that back. and just crazy shit that it will only make their life worse. I mean, and everybody knows this is my pet issue.

I probably bend over backwards a little too much by not doing it a lot because I know it's what, well, come on, that's Bill's thing. So I don't want to look like I'm that in the tank. But I am in the tank for this issue. And so I do it where I can and try to keep it in people's consciousness. And they are generally on the page. What it comes down to, again, is organization, which is what you're doing.

And also, like, how much are you willing to do? I mean, that's where the rubber meets the road with humans. It's like if you ask in a survey, you know, do you think there's a climate crisis? Yes. How much are you willing to spend a year to solve it? $100. Well, that's not going to get it done. Yeah.

And there are people who, many will see. would not spend one cent. They could never even believe it that's happening. So that's it. I mean, you'll get a lot of people not, oh, they shouldn't do that to animals. Well, what are you willing to do? Not a lot.

So, you know, people like you who are an ingrid who are really on the ground doing it have just my highest admiration. I think it's a much more fulfilling life than fucking kids. Children just are not my speed. Or never have been. And you never had, you never wanted.

My dogs. or my kids. I've always thought of them as my kids. So, I, yeah, I've just known that my mission has always been animals. That's why I was put on this planet. And what's your, I'm curious, what's your life in South Africa like on a day? I mean, I, of course, know about South Africa. I've never been there. What city are you in? I'm based in Cape Town.

Cape Town, oh. Our sanctuaries in the Eastern Cape. So Cape Town's the Western Cape. I know it's a beautiful country It's stunning It's stunning, yeah, I know Yeah, it's beautiful And you know My life there changes

It depends Like if I'm home I'm working on the computer a lot On like charity things And programs And what's home like a wooden hut? No I know I'm fucking

I mean Cape Town You could be in the South of France And gorgeous Yeah I'm sure It's like a European It's a very successful sophisticated country and by the way not that they don't have a sorry history just like we do racially but one of the few revolutions and i'm talking about you know it was uh you know an

apartheid state where the black people were just had no representation you know that you know there was a bloodless revolution i mean the president of south africa has been black since the 90s you know that doesn't usually happen i got to give them a little for, I guess they thought, you know, why it's inevitable, but most people don't do that. They fight to the end and they gave up power and sadly a lot of the problems persist in South. I know it has a lot of problems.

There's a lot of corruption. A lot of corruption. And a lot of still poverty. Yeah. I mean, crazy levels of shanty town, tin roof poverty. Yeah, a lot of, a very high, A very high rate of unemployment, like very high. And so it is difficult.

Honestly, it could be solved. I think a lot of the issues in the world could be solved if there was the right people behind it that no corruption didn't exist. People are always the problem. I mean, they're the solution, but they're also the problem. Yeah. I mean, that's why the animals have issues. It's from people. It's not each other.

It's not the other animals that they have issues with. I mean, they do have issues with each other because they eat each other. Yes, yes. But they can balance each other out just fine. They wouldn't need our help. Nature is brutal. I mean, let's not kid ourselves, you know. I mean, but that's nature.

I mean, you do feel bad when you watch the video of the, you know, hyenas or whatever. They find the week one of the herd. It's not like they're not mean girls. You know, they're... Yeah. But, you know, that's... That's the way of the world. I mean, my dog is, I mean, I had two for the same two for like the last 12, 13 years,

and the one died in August, and the other one is like so ancient. I'm sorry. It's okay. I mean, she's not unhappy right now, but she, you know, barely moves. And, you know, I mean, would be in nature, would have died. Right. So many years ago, as soon as you lose a step in nature, you're like a running back in the NFL.

If you lose a step, you're out of the league. Absolutely. Here, when you're out of the league, they eat you. But luckily, she's in a assisted facility called My House. Good. You're a good nurse, I'm sure. Yeah. I mean, she's not unhappy, but just, that dog has always been very much a delicate lady, I must say.

What kind of dog? Who fucking knows? Half a German Shepherd. I think they said half pit bull. You don't see that in her. Except, yeah, if you push it too far, she once almost killed the other dog. That's true.

But she looks like a half size of a German shepherd. Yeah. But she was always, I mean, of all the dogs I have, she is the most like a woman. You know, very moody, very sensitive. sometimes goes into real, like, depressions? You know, there's new data saying that when you fix a female dog

in the traditional way that we've always fixed them, you're messing with their hormones, and it does affect them later. I bet that's true. How could it not be? So there's new ways that they're starting to fix the animals so that they're not losing those hormones and they're healthier as they get older.

But like, we didn't know that before. So there was always this traditional way, but the really good vets are starting to look at these things and do it differently. Anytime you mess with the natural structure of the human body, you know, there's going to be serious repercussions. I mean, this goes for fixing your teeth. There's a lot of repercussions.

Really? Things that, yeah. Fixing your teeth. Yeah, like I've heard these things. Like, if you fix all your teeth, they'll grind them down. And as you get older and you start having, like, real tooth issues, that grinding down and that stuff you did, you're hurting the nerves. You're affecting the bone in your mouth. There's all these things that nobody considers.

Fix that. Does what? A sleep guard? You know, you're asleep. Well, that's grinding your teeth. I mean, when they grind down the tooth to put a, like a cap on, say. So when they grind that down for you to put a proper cap on, that actually later in life can really hurt you.

So anytime we do these things to the body, we don't think about later. I think I did that. We don't think, we don't know. And it's only over time that we start seeing, oh, maybe I wasn't supposed to, but nobody told me. Over time for me would be now. And you're fine right now, right? Yeah, but I'm 70. And, you know, if I did that, as Lucy used to say,

ugh. Yes, she did. I mean, yeah, but you're right. I never thought of that. Nobody ever presented that to me, but it's in line with what I philosophically believe in. That philosophically, just by observation by common sense, anytime you do anything upstream in the human body,

There's going to be a repercussion downstream. There just is. And sometimes that's a deal worth making. Yeah. But you should at least be aware of it. I mean, I don't think even if I knew that, I wouldn't have done it because forget what prompted that. It certainly wasn't cosmetic. It's not like I care about.

I don't show much teeth except when I'm angry. So it wasn't. that but I guess it was well first of all when I was a kid it's unbelievable they used to do this to people in 1964 but they drilled mercury into cavities yes that's what it was they were drilling the mercury out they had to get and that is one of those absolutely you have to do that mercury is horrible leaking into your body so whatever it was that's why that's why they're all like that because they had to drill the mercury out and then put a cap on it yeah oh I mean even the silicone breasts that women put in.

I mean, they say you're supposed to change them every 10 years, but nobody does that unless something goes wrong. And then they start leaking. How do you change them? Well, you have another surgery and you put new ones in. There are doctors out there dedicated to this because women start having health issues, and they don't realize it's from, like, implants that are leaking. And it's because it's plastic.

Of course. So all the plastic degrades over time, and you've got that, you've put that in your body, and then imagine a hole gets in and it actually starts coming out, and like the health issues. So we only find this out later, you know, like all these great innovations, and then we're like, oh, maybe there's a better way of doing it. But that's for the next generation now to discover with AI will help. AI will help them figure out what else they can do, maybe. I feel so guilty about all the fake tits I sucked on.

Well, hopefully you didn't pop them. I contributed. That's the problem. When guys are like aggressive, I'm like, you can pop them. Like, that's a problem. That honestly never happened to me. No, I would never do that. Wow.

I'm learning a lot from you. Yeah, I'm very into biohacking. Do you talk, now you have, you, you, not you too, you, You have only, I had a few things before I came over. Only fans, not you fans. Yeah. I'm on you fans. Oh, you fans.

It's the latest thing. It's amazing. Awesome. I read Shakespeare, naked. No. Perfect. On the toilet. Yeah.

No, you two. I mean, only fans. You're on only. Do you talk about issues like this? I don't know. We try to keep it light. I try not to preach It's not really what they're there for

I don't know I think that I would find that very sexy looking the way you look while you like talk about something like that I think that could actually work in a big way I try to pick and choose my audience

I save it for the intellects like you now if people ask I mean I'll talk about it but usually it's not really what they care about, but I have to like... What do they care about? What are they saying? So it's very interactive?

Yeah. I don't know much of it. I wouldn't know how to get on it if I wanted to. Yeah. You know, I was doing all these Comic-Conns, and I realized that I was starting to see my own projects from a different viewpoint. So, you know, you're talking about Tomcats,

and even your viewpoint is, different than my viewpoint of what it was like being there. But with the fans, they get so excited over some of these films and they recite things to you. And they tell you how that project changed their life. And so I'm getting to experience my career in a way that I never experienced it before. Because when I was doing it, I was just in this machine. So what do they say? How did it change their life?

It may be, like, there was one woman that I'm actually quite close friends with now that one of my films helped her get through the death of her husband. He died of cancer, and she needed something comforting, and one of my films just comforted her, and she would just watch it on loop. You know, some of, like, it's usually connected to something emotional in their life in that moment. There's a lot of power in being a celebrity.

I always thought that. It's a platform. It's almost like being the captain of a ship. You know, you can, captain can, like, perform a marriage. You know, like he has that power. And because it's such a celebrity culture, it is like you can use it for evil, you can use it for good. But there is always power in celebrity. You can, like, sort of, I'm not going to say, decree things, but you can suggest and summon and inspire.

And people just put more stock in celebrity than almost anything else. Their faith in institutions is... dim at best at this point, low wattage on what they think of media, government, church, religion, you know, even families are broken apart. But celebrities, they're just like us. Oh, wait, they're not like us, and that's what they like about it. They're a little preter human. They're a little above the average person in their view.

That's why we're trying to be one. And so they just, you know, I know. I know just in my own personal life, like I can get married couples together, you know, who are fighting or divorcing or, you know, things like that, that they just, I don't think just a mere mortal would not have the power to say, you two, get along.

Yes, sir. I mean, it works in the moment, right? But does it work long term? Oh, fuck, no. So if it does, just become a therapist then. No, yeah. Actually, if I didn't do this, I would have loved to have been a therapist.

Of course, I wouldn't want to go to school. But, I mean, I basically think the profession is so much bullshit. I mean, I just, it's laugh out loud, funny, I think, sometimes. I mean, I went briefly in a situation of a couples therapy. And it was all I could do to literally not laugh out loud. But I thought that would really... Couples therapy doesn't always work well. It makes it worse sometimes.

If you are at the point where you need it just and... And it's fucking over. And I'm sure there are people who say, Bill, you're terrible person. We went and, well, probably what happened is, you know, you, maybe it fixed it. Yeah, okay, I shouldn't judge. You know, maybe it did actually fix. And the person who doesn't know you that well was somehow able to hear and fresh eyes from the outside and say something that actually changed the trajectory of this relationship. But I think that's not often the case, and often the case is that they go and they put the time in and they invested in it.

And so they just somehow say that they fixed it because they get to that point where the thing make the therapy makes them confront the idea of actually breaking up. And I certainly know that feeling, that scared feeling of, oh, fuck, I'm going to lose this person. Even when I didn't really like the relationship, it can still be, it's what you know. And you just feel like, oh my God, I'll be alone again, and back in the world and having to find somebody. So they run back to what's familiar. I mean, a lot of relationships that we applaud,

because if you say on TV, you've been married 40 years, there's nothing more guaranteed applause. But really, a lot of it is codependency. And co-dependency, it's fine. I don't think it's anything to brag about. It doesn't say to me, I succeeded in life.

My roots and this other tree's roots grew together so intertwinedly that we cannot get apart. But not everyone's going to be codependent. I mean... Not everyone, absolutely. It does happen. And there are people that stay in it longer

than they should. You could also be codependent and love it. And you could also be with someone and not be married and be perfectly happy or perfectly miserable. Like, you know, marriage, having the certificate doesn't really mean anything. What's the dating scene like in Cape Town?

Well, I mean, I'm very newly single, and I don't plan on ever dating again, to be honest. Come on, you're going to date? No. No, not even dating? I do not want to date. Really? I'm not interested.

I'm not interested. Like, there's too many con artists out there. There's too many people I don't trust. I have no interest. Well, I'm not saying I know you better than you because I don't, you know you better than you. I will say this. I have heard that for many people right after, I mean, including many celebrities. You know, I could go down a list.

Okay. You know, I mean, lots of A-list ladies have said Hallie Berry. I am done. And then two years later, no, she's with something. And then she's getting back. It's like, I'm just saying, it's a, you know, some time is a way of making you lonely and making you miss the things. I know we are a very imperfect species, men, but there are some things that we just have.

I'm not going to name things, but that are just hard to get otherwise. And, you know, and not just talking about sex, although that too. but I know when my mother was a widow the last 15 years, you know, and I would call her every day on the way to work, and she would complain about the same things every day, and I would suggest the same solutions every day, which she would never do every day. Yeah.

But, you know, one of her problems was, you know, she just said, I just missed the male energy around me. You know, she lived with my sister, and, you know, there's just certain male energy that is part of, what makes the world go around. Yeah, I mean, I could always get a male roommate one day if I wanted a roommate.

Well, that's not. I mean, that's the male energy. Yeah, but if he really had male energy, then you'd want to fuck him. Not necessarily. Not a roommate. Because that would mean my hormones are perfectly in balance and I really want something like that.

At the moment, I'm perfectly fine, not being with anyone and not wanting anything. Who do you hang out with? I mean, you have friends there in Cape Town? Yeah, lots of friends. That you met just when you went there? Yeah. Oh, you just met people after you got there?

Yeah. So you're not lacking for a friend, like going out to dinner and that stuff? No, not at all. Not just the black blind rhino. No. Can I suggest a name for the black blind rhino? He has a name. Stevie Wonder.

I'm just saying it fits. Ray Charles. Yeah, I understand. I understand. I think it would be awesome. How did he become blind? Territorial fights. I'm sorry.

I mean to no disrespect, black wine, right up. I mean, Stevie Wonder. But the territorial fights over women? Well, yeah, that's usually what it is. So he gave up his eyes trying to get a bit. I mean, not purposely, but they have these big horns. And when you're fighting with another big bull, you take one to the eye. So normally he'd be dead by now because, of course, you can't survive in the wild.

It's hard. Yeah, yeah, he probably would have. But he's fine in your care being blind? Absolutely, he's great. In fact, we've just recently realized, so there was a lot of rain. He got out of his camp into the bigger area, and we sent anti-poaching out and watched him for a little while

and realized he was actually getting around pretty well. So we're starting to look at other, moving the sanctuary to another location, and letting him have that space because we don't want to bring other animals that could hurt him into that space. So we're going to actually look for another piece of land now where we can build out an orphanage rehab center

and some holding bomas and work with local partners. I understand he says that his other senses are much more acute now. Yeah. That does happen. I guess it does. I guess he could. I mean, my dog is blind.

So I'm used to watching him. bump into things. Yeah. I mean, he's always stumble bumming his way around. Like, you know, it's okay. They kind of learn where things are. Yeah, he has a general idea. But, but, you know, it takes maybe 10 minutes to get up the stairs or down the stairs. Up is full. Well, yeah, that would be scary. Yeah. Doing stairs blind would be scary. Yeah. The rhino doesn't have stairs. No, no. Thank goodness. But that's amazing, a blind rhino. Have you been to South Africa? I have not.

Or any other African countries? No, I'm not a great traveler. No. And I traveled so much doing stand-up for 40 years. I just stopped doing that domestically a year and a half ago. So there's nowhere you want to go? No, definitely not overseas. Really?

Yeah. So you're done? I'm done, yeah. Okay. And I was never, you know, again, I'm no Marine. I was never into traveling. And he played, I mean, when I was younger, yes, I backpacked through Europe when I was 21, you know, but I wasn't, you know, the same person. The last two trips to even, and these are, you know, sophisticated European cities, five-star hotels, sometimes private jets, still couldn't take it.

I was just away for three days, just three days. And I feel like I went to Vietnam in 1965. I mean, I'm just not. Jet lag. Jet lag and I just don't, I need my food, not like the food that's out there. You know, I watch what I eat and I like what I eat and I feel shitty when I eat the wrong food. Even bread. I don't eat a lot of bread and like most food out there is bread.

What do you eat? What am I, a black blind rider? What should I feed you? Weird food. You know, like, I only eat two meals a day. Very often it's the same, too. It's like there's a cereal I make from different grains and seeds. You put in a thermos overnight with hot water.

It's like oatmeal. Like overnight oats. Yeah, and then with fruit on top of that. And then I make a shake with a goat yogurt and a bunch of other stuff, some protein powder. And, you know, I think I do fine. But on the road, you know, you're just, you just, I bring food, but, you know, you're just going to wind up having a fucking turkey sandwich, you just are. So are those the only things you eat?

I mean, there are days when those are the only two things I eat. You know. Do a lot of intermittent fasting kind of. I do. I only have two meals because I can go until about 5 o'clock in the afternoon before. I mean, I don't get up really. But if I get up at 11 and I just drink coffee for a few hours, that's okay. Yeah, yeah, that's good.

And it's great. I mean, maybe it's not great for my system, but I like it. And I do think it is good to give your system, your digestive system, a rest. 100%. How do you take your coffee? I like my coffee, like women with big tits. I take my coffee black. I mean, a little honey.

Yeah, good. But that's it. I'm in it for the drugs. I'm not in it for the taste. The taste is secondary because the high is good. I hate it when that moment of the day comes, when I have to give up my high, my buzz, because I have to eat.

Because eating kills your buzz. Right. You know. Okay. So I had very little to eat today. Yeah. Because I wanted to talk to you at my best. Oh, thank you.

Hi. Hucked up, drunk. Perfect. How I like all my guys. You have to know yourself. Yeah. You know what the just, I mean, I never understood why people fuck after dinner. To me, it's the stupidest thing in the world to, like, have sex after food.

Because then you might fart. You might fart. Yes. That, yes. And you're just, you just, you just. Your blood is working on the food. Yeah. You know, it's just, you should be light and hungry for each other.

Then have food after. That makes perfect sense to me. I'm so glad I reoriented my life at some point around that. And it was very adamant about that. Good. It's like, honey, I'm hungry. Let's have sex now because I've got to eat. Exactly.

Or go right to, you know, you have to sex all the time. If you want to eat, eat, but don't. Don't like eat and then fuck. That's just the dumbest thing. Your breath probably stinks. You know, this way you have, fine, have onions and garlic after. Not before. Yeah.

You know? I think this is a great subject for what, I'm telling you. Yeah. Now, is it possible that in the future after this drops, and millions and millions of people enjoy this, that someone calls you up on Only fans, Again, I don't really know how it works, but you, I mean, there must be more people each day wanting to talk to you than you could possibly talk to. Well, I mean, those are the relations.

That's the only relationship I need or the relationships on Onlyfans that I'm building with all of these people that are, I don't need. I'm asking about the mechanics. The mechanics. I get it, fans. It's beautiful. I want to know about the mechanics. Okay. Like, there must be more people every day who want to talk to you, right, on only events,

then you could possibly talk to. Sometimes. In a certain, in a single day. Yeah, of course. So what happens to, how do you decide, how do you triage the ones who get to talk to you versus the ones who don't? I have an assistant that helps me. What's the criteria? You say that I can't do it all.

No, we try to get to everybody. Really? Yes. Everybody? Yes, absolutely. How many hours can it take on a typical day? Well, that's, you know, I can't reveal all my secrets. Really?

That's a secret? Yeah. How many hours? Yeah, I mean, because every day is different. You know, and sometimes it's on the go, in the car as I'm traveling, on the plane. You can do it in the car? Absolutely. As long as I can get online, so if I've got cellular, then I can do it.

Okay. I mean, that's surprising to me. I thought it would be like I'm thinking of the movie, Her. You ever see that? The TV show? No, no. It was a, no, it was Spike Jones movie with the... Oh, I don't know it.

Yeah, you probably do. Scarlet-Johanssen is the voice. It's a very ahead of its time movie because it was like 15 years ago, and now that we have AI, it is what happened. But he falls in love with his phone. Okay. He falls in love with the AI and his phone.

phone. It's Joaquin Phoenix. And Scarlett Johansson is the voice in the phone. And of course, he's very disappointed at the end because he found out she's fucking like 6,000 other guys. You know, because that's... Yeah, I mean, I don't think anyone on there thinks, for real things. They're the only person I'm talking to, obviously, because they know how it works. But the fantasy of it is what everyone wants. Okay, I guess that's so hard for me to get by. It's like, I I am just not a person who has ever been satisfied with fantasy. If I can imagine it, I want to make it real. Okay.

You know? Yeah. But everyone's different. Everyone's different. And everyone doesn't have all the wherewithal I have to do that. You know? Yeah. I mean, I never made it a habit back in the day to have sex with porn stars, but I've done it.

Okay. Because it's like, you know, that's the fantasy. Like if there is a gap between the fantasy and the reality, that's always going to obsess me. Not that I always have to make what the fantasy is, but I have to always have to think it's possible. You know, I can't, I used to do a bit in my act about how I could never jerk off about something that happened like I'm watching a movie.

It's about the Middle Ages because I don't live in the Middle Ages. There's no realistic way I could ever be fucking this serving wench in the year 1258. You know, like, okay, I'm a jester at the castle and I'm doing good with the king and I go down to the dungeon

and she's there and she's why. Like, that's not going to happen because I don't live in that year. So that's impossible. I can't like fantasize about that. So this is why acting didn't really, wasn't really your thing. I think you didn't the acting thing. Never might think.

I was always meant to be what I became because that's what I do. And do uniquely, I think, is tell you exactly what I do think. But a lot of people like to dress up and they like to fantasize and they like to have that, you know, that out-of-body kind of moment. Yeah, because they don't think the, they don't think reifying it is even possible. But if a genie came down and said, would you actually like to do this? Would you actually like to be with Shannon Elizabeth right now? You'd actually like to sit next to her on the couch instead of through this screen? I think they would say yes, but I could be wrong.

Maybe they would be so scared and intimidated that we'd be like, no, no, no. This has to stay in the realm of fantasy. That is too much of a goddess for me. I think that would actually be a common response now that I think about it. I think a lot of that would say, no, no, no, I would be, I'd shit my pants. I would just, it would be too much. So going on and chatting with someone, it's a way like, let's call it entertainment, passing time, the same way you watch a movie or you watch a TV show or you read a book or, you know, everybody has these moments in their life where they just want to unwind and relax and not think about work and not think about all the issues and the bills they have to pay. And they just want that moment. So everybody has this time in their life where it's like, what lets you? just be and breathe and re-center yourself.

How long is the average a chat take? You know, it depends. Because sometimes they chat right away. Sometimes there's like this delay of like they're doing something else and they come back and they go. So I try to be on for a couple hours at a time. With one person? Well, I can't tell. Like the fantasy of it, I can't tell you all of like what's happening and how I do it.

I'm sorry. I don't want to. ruin the fantasy for everyone. I'm so sorry that I'm so dim about this. I don't even I can't even understand why it's a secret.

That's how removed I am that I can't even understand. Okay. Well, as long as you're satisfying the customer. Well, hopefully. I hope so. Well, they must be. I mean, look, it's a lot of fun. It's allowed me to get

close to people in a different way and it's allowed me to just share a part of my life that I wasn't documenting in any way. Well, I'm not surprised it's doing well because you do have a rare quality, which is, you know, the hot chick who also seems nice. You know, a lot, you are. I mean, you do, it always came out of you that fear, that sense of, wow, I mean, she, she could be a lot uglier than this for how nice she is. Because a lot of times models and those type of people, they just, you know, what they put out is a kind of a, you know, disgusted sneer at the world. I mean, models are not known to be, you know, that friendly. I started out modeling, but with that said, I was very shy and people thought I was a bitch because I was so shy.

And so it actually made me start to come out of my shell and purposely try to not be. be shy because I didn't know that was how I was coming across. But you're hotter than models. I mean, models are amazing looking always. I mean, they should be actually. Now Nepo babies do it. I mean, even that industry got infected by Nepo Babies. There are some girls.

They're not ugly, but like they wouldn't be models back in the day. I don't want to name names, Kardashian. But they're a cute girl, but like, you know, that never would have happened. They find the Naomi Campbell's, you know, the people who are just like, you know, there is just something genetic going on there. Cindy Crawford, Blood down Angelica. Yeah, of course. I mean.

Supermodels. But you have an earthy, you're just as pretty as there, but you just have an earthiness. And your body, you know, is not the model body, which is, you know, the designers are all gay. They just want a hanger for the clothes, you know, so they never have tits, which is fine. Small tits are hot, too. But, like, you just have a different kind of sexy earthiness that the model, I mean, models, I just look at me like, yeah, she's pretty. It's like watching a gazelle on the wild.

It's a beautiful thing to watch, but, you know, would I actually have a good time fucking? You're probably not. When you watch a gazelle, you're just waiting to see if they're going to get eaten or not. You're like hoping you don't see the kill. Well, I'm thinking the same thing with the models. No, I joke. But you just have a different, you know, you're working a slightly different lane,

and I think a better one. Thank you. You know. Well, it's true. It's true. you can see I edit nothing. Yeah, I don't.

Thank you. Yeah. So I did bring something for you because I did do this fundraiser on Sunday night, actually. So, Rhino Rumble was away for me because I used to play poker. And so I brought

during the World Series... For a living? Kind of, kind of. The World Series of Poker is happening, so we did a poker tournament. Now, this is actually four-year coffee. So because coffee's very acidic and it can really wear down your bones. And it's a doctor, friend of mine, Dr. Daryl Joffrey, that made this and it doesn't change the taste. So I just wanted to give you some of the products and this is minerals. So get off your acid is his line. And actually,

this one is for alcohol. So that alcohol doesn't give you a hangover and it doesn't hurt you. And it doesn't change anything flavor-wise, which is so amazing. Really? So I want to do. So I want to wanted to just bring you some of his products because I think this is just part of his line but well I'm not drinking it for the flavor anyway but it does just help like with the acidity and how you you know because you treat your body so well every other way so this just helps it not be acidic and it keeps you alkaline and healthy and this is made by who your manager you're no it's a friend of mine who is a biohacking doctor oh a biohacking doctor so yeah um so we we do a lot of different work together and he was one of the sponsors at my event of the gift bags.

Well, it looks like it's a real product. It's amazing. It's amazing. So this tastes. It's not like it's made in his basement, but it's obviously got packaging and No, it's a, it's a, it's a huge line. It is. This is just a few pieces from the line.

This is a huge line. Yeah, no, it's great. So Alchemine is his brand and get off your asset is the kind of the name of the products. And it's all about not being. acidic because all disease comes from acid. Yes. Inflammation. Yes.

So this is helping you to stay alkaline. Well, all disease comes from two things. One, either cells not getting enough of the right nutrients. Yeah. I mean, you can eat all day long and not get the right nutrients. Yes, or not absorb them. Yes. Or not absorb them correctly.

Or toxicity that gets into the cells. It's all, you either win. or lose the battle on the cellular level. Yeah. So, I mean, there's a lot of products like this, but I mean, I'm always up for learning a new, what do you call it? Biohacking. Biohacking.

So these are individual packets so you can travel with them. So next time you have coffee tomorrow morning, put one in your coffee. You won't taste any different, but it just helps your body so that you're not acidic afterwards. What if I need more acidic? Well, if you need more, then don't take the products. Because sometimes you need acidic because also acidic kills the germs and the bacteria. Well, you need your stomach acids.

In fact, I have to take something to up my stomach acids because I have low stomach acidity. But that's different than being acidic throughout your body. You should not be acidic with that throughout your body. But what you sometimes, I mean, sometimes look, you can. Why do people drink cranberry juice to kill? Because maybe your urinary tract needs... Yeah, it helps the urinary tract. Because it's acidic.

The bugs don't live well. In acidic, bugs love the opposite. Yeah. Bugs love, you know, what do you call it when it's not acidic, but... Well, when you go alkaline. Alkaline. Yeah. So, I mean, there's a lot of...

It's a lot of... You should have like a 7.0 is right neutral. pH, I'm talking about. Yes. I think that's seven. I think it's nine. No, no, no. No, nine would be way too alkaline.

I think 7.0 is right in the middle. Some people need 6.5, which is a little acidic. I mean, your stomach normally is like crazy acidic. And of course, the acidic scale, it's like it's a factor of 10 every time it's like earthquake. Like a 7.5 earthquake is like 10 times higher than a 7.4. So your stomach, which is maybe like a three point something, that's crazy acidic. But it needs to be to break the food down. To break the food down.

Yes. But if somebody that has, say, a cancer, what helps to kill cancer is to go alkaline. So like I had a friend. And every time she was fasting because of her cancer. And she said every time she wanted food, she just said, nope, I'm not going to feed the cancer cells. So I'm not going to eat that food right now. Especially sugar. You don't have any sugar?

I try not to. Right. I try to be good, but I mean, none of us are perfect. No, and you shouldn't be. You'll resent yourself. So, yeah, you know, I try to be healthy. I try to do what I can, but I take lots of supplements. I do too.

I don't eat meat. So, you know, I have to take supplements. I haven't eaten meat in, I don't know, 25, 30 years. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. So I have to replenish somehow. Because there's definitely nutrients that I'm not getting by not eating meat.

And the food in South Africa is not hard to get what you, I mean, it's sophisticated. Look, the South African culture is meat. It's browing, which they, brying is our barbecue. Rying. Yeah, they call it a bry. Wow. Yeah. So the culture is to get together with friends and do a barbecue, you know.

Really? And they don't know what to do with me because I don't eat meat. But there's always sides. There's salads. There's, you know, there's a million different sides that people are getting better at doing before they would just do one simple salad. But there's a lot. And I cook. cooking so it's just I don't love cooking when it's just me but like when I have

friends around I love to cook and I love a cookbook like I'll just open the cookbook to a page and say this is what I'm making tonight and that's fun for me yeah so that's kind of a way of just not thinking about work and relaxing and just being creative it's another form of being creative just creative with food sounds like you got it all figured out there Sounds like it, but I don't, but I'm trying. I'm trying. What would you say is your biggest problem in life?

Honestly, for me, it's always about my charity. And it's always trying to make sure that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing with it and making the biggest difference possible. And I never feel like I am. So it's always figuring out who can we be helping, how can we be helping, what do I do to make it better? You're like the Mother Teresa animals.

No, really. I mean, you know, you've foregone so many things, you know. You say you're not dating, you know, and, you know, kids. I mean, that to me is not a big sacrifice, but it would be for some people. And, you know, because, you know, I don't remember the last time I saw you, but you weren't doing this. It wasn't that long. I think it was. I would have had Animal Avengers maybe at that point.

Were you with Russell Simmons? Did I dream that? No, they wrote that online. We were friends. And I think we went to an event together. So people just assumed we were dating. I think I was at that event. That we showed up together.

Yeah, I mean, I definitely thought you were together. But, I mean, I went to an event with Enrique Iglesias, and then people said we were dating, and we weren't. So you go to one event with somebody, and suddenly you're like married to them. Did you ever date a celebrity? Have I? Yeah. Uh, not like, well, I mean, somebody that kind of became a celebrity maybe, but...

Who? Well, I mean, I went out with Derek Huff for three years, but it was right in the beginning of him starting to do dancing with the stars. Oh, dancing with the star. Yeah. So he's quite well known now. Yeah. He's... I know he is now, now that you mention it. I think he hosts, like, whatever that show is that comes on before. for TMZ. Oh, I don't know.

Oh, yeah. I'm so out of the loop because I'm overseas. You don't get American TV there? No, none? None. What a travesty. I know. I don't, I don't, I mean, I'll have some streaming platforms and I'll try to watch things on there.

Oh, yeah, of course, you must have all that. Yeah. Right, you don't get that. Well, you know what? You're not missing a lot. I mean, we got our problems over here. Everywhere has problems. Exactly.

I mean, I was in the supermarket last night. I go about once a year. Really? Which one do you go to? I went to pavilions out here. Really? Yeah. Okay.

And my girl and I... So you do have a girl? Well... You said before you were sickle. Well... It's not... It's not harsh the words. He has a girl.

Okay. Anyway, we went to pavilions. about nine o'clock at night. There's hardly anybody there. And I felt like one of those soccer players, you know, we've had the World Cup here. Yes. What's that?

I'm the one should ask that. I'm not into soccer at all. But like there's all these videos online of these people from all over the world who've come to the World Cup and they're just blown away by America. You know, we take it for granted. There's such Debbie Downerism here.

But when people come who don't live here, And I'm not talking about people from shithole countries. I'm talking about people from regular countries, big boy countries. And they come here and they're just blown away. And I felt like one of them last night because I don't go to the market very much. And I was just like, oh my God, blimey, this is a whole aisle of cheese here. And there is this like, oh, my, everything was just like amazing to me. I was like the mermaid from Splash.

You know, I only use Apple pay like once a year, so I barely knew how to use my phone to get out of the checkout line. Yeah. You know, the other. I feel the same going to grocery stores actually here because I only go over there. So when I come back here, I'm like, look at all these new products and these things I've never seen.

It's amazing. There's like a million choices for everything. Yeah. You know, I just want salad dressing. And it's like, you know, do you want it? You know, with vodka in it. Yeah, yeah.

We got that too. Yeah. It's just this bounty. Yeah. And it's all like so well organized and... Colorful. And you also understand why Americans are fat. Because there's like a giant section of cakes and shit and breads and, you know.

It's just... Yeah, but the breads here, this is the problem. The breads here and the breads overseas are very different because of the flour. Right. Because, like, we take away the one protein in the flour that digest the gluten. Like, why are we taking that away? Money. Money.

That's why we do everything, money. And it's ridiculous. I can't explain it to you. But for some reason, it was cheaper. Yeah. I mean, you know, why is there only one kind of banana? There used to be many, many, many kinds of bananas. Yeah.

But they find, oh, but this will save us five cents every time someone buys a banana. So fuck bananas. Yeah. And things start tasting like water if they're not grown, like, a little farmer. They'd rather grow a tomato. Pick it when it's green, shoot it would die to make it look like tomato. Yeah. Than to actually give you a real tomato.

A real good farmer's market to me. I grow tomatoes right over there. Do you? Like 10 feet away from where we're sitting. Okay. There's a garden, and I'm going to get my... Oh, that's why you don't have to go to the grocery store. Well, that's not why, because I'm rich and have assistance.

But how do tomatoes work in your smoothie? I don't put them in my smoothie. You didn't say you ate anything that has tomatoes. No, I actually eat a tomato like just like I would eat an apple. Oh, really? When I make the smoothie because there's avocado in the smoothie. Yum. Yum.

An avocado plus tomato equals... Guacamole. Thank you. I was on the tip of my tongue and you saved me, Shannon Elizabeth. I love guacamole. Okay. I love making it. And someone told me, I say someone, a doctor, okay, a doctor told me that she never sees Hispanic patients who have prostate cancer.

Oh, interesting. And she theorizes it's because of the guacamole. So I don't like guacamole, but if I eat a tomato with the avocado in the shake, then I'm kind of getting it. Oh, yes, true. Right. So I'm going to get never, I'm never going to get. Maybe it's the onion or the lime juice or the garlic salt. Well, I'm going to say I'm getting an honorary pass on not getting Hispanic cancer. That's what I'm going to say. They don't get cancer because of the guacamole.

And I am simulating guacamole. Yes. Each time I have a. As long as it all mixes down there. As long as it all mixes down there. Yeah. I love guacamole. I love that you can. here to talk to me. I know it's off your beaten path.

No, I love that you had me here. I am thrilled that we got to do this. And someday you will tell me all the secrets of your only fans that I'm only beginning to understand. Maybe you should just come on. Come on. Come on. They have only guests?

Well, no, just pretend you're one of my fans and come on. Oh, I see. And then you'll see how it all works. Oh, I see. I see. Yeah, that can't happen. Thank you so much for having me. That was so much fun.

It was so fun. Thank you. And thank you for all your animal advocacy. Yes, thank you. You're the one who's doing much more than I am. And it all matters. We make Tomcats too. Oh boy, hell's gonna freeze over when we make that, I think.

Club and a...