Club Random with Bill Maher - Sophie Rain | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: September 7, 2026

Bill Maher sits down with OnlyFans star Sophie Rain, who says she’s made more than $100 million without ever appearing fully nude—and that she’s still a virgin. Naturally, Bill has questions.Sophie breaks down how the business really works, what her fans think they’re paying for, and why the fantasy of a personal connection can be worth so much money. They talk about dating when millions of men are watching, the team answering her messages, and the lines she won’t cross, even for a bigger payday.Sophie also opens up about growing up with parents struggling with addiction, buying them a house, and wanting to use her fortune to rescue animals. Plus, why neither of them wants kids, what makes a great movie hero, and the question on which they strongly disagree: Team Edward or Team Jacob? Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1 Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: https://billmaher.substack.com Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom Support our Advertisers: Try ZipRecruiter to post your job FOR FREE at http://ziprecruiter.com/RANDOM NOBL gives you real travel peace of mind — security, design, and convenience all in one. Head to https://NOBLTravel.com for 46% off your entire order!Get 15% off OneSkin with the code RANDOM at https://www.oneskin.co/RANDOM #oneskinpodRula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/RANDOM #rulapodDon’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code RANDOM at https://takeultra.com! Buy Club Random Merch: https://clubrandom.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM In Club Random, Bill Maher unleashes his comedic wit on an unpredictable lineup – from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Quentin Tarantino and Neil deGrasse Tyson – digging into everything but politics. It’s Maher in his familiar element: one-on-one vibes, unfiltered laughs, and the kind of freewheeling banter only he can deliver. ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last 23 years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 41 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written six bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass", and most recently "What This Comedian Said Will Shock You". FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor,

free of charge. BetMGEMGEMP operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. Is that a request? That is a request. I'm so not surprised. Are you joking? Well, I mean, first of all. I do know, because sometimes they're very vocal about it.

Excuse me. No, it's great. Hey. Hello. Hello. How are you? Good. I'm glad to see you.

I appreciate you. I'm so happy to meet you. Thank you so much for the... So I know you must be in great demand, so I'm very flattered that you chose to come here. Oh, I had to. I had to. This is so awesome.

I saw this opportunity, and I said, yes, let's do it immediately. You know, a lot of people in this town do not have those kind of balls. Really? Are you fucking kidding me? This town is just full of pussies who are just deathly afraid of, you know, anything that might like, who somebody might write on the internet, you know. I've met a lot of fake people. here. A lot of fake people.

Really? I've never heard that, but fake, yes, but this is something different. Fake, yes, there are fakes. But these are cowards. These are cowards who just, like, I mean, like me, I'm really that you know, dangerous to a lot of people, yes. And I'm really actually the most reasonable person out there, but okay, we'll put that aside.

But just like, they're so afraid of, like, what a bunch of ninnies on the internet are going to write about it. And I always tell them, like, yeah, maybe some people who have nothing better to do. I mean, you know this as well as anyway. Oh, yes. We'll just, and then a day later, Ariana Grande, he'll get a new boyfriend and they'll be on to something else and nobody will give a fuck. Yep. But. A hundred percent. I'm sure I'm sure I'm treading on stuff that's very much in your world. Oh, yes. People must write such shit about it. That's something I don't do is I don't ever

read what people say about me online. I don't either. I never look my name of it. I don't We'll never do that. I don't either. I've never Googled myself. Got to protect your peace. Because there's some crazy people out there that are just saying stuff. Because people like to, you know, they see one thing of you, and they make an image of you in their head, and that's who you are forever in their head.

I always say if you do something once, okay, if you do anything twice, it's a total reputation for the rest of your life. Exactly. You know, sucked one cock, but two, and you're, you know, you're now, I'm gay. Yeah, right. Okay. Just trying it the first time. Exactly.

I mean, did anybody be reasonable about that? Yeah. Are you having a drink with me? I am, actually. Good. I have some nice vodka crayon in here. And you drink it out of a coffee munk? Yeah, come on.

It's fancy, right? I've never seen any drink liquor out of a mung like that. I mean, not that you can't do it. I bet you I've drunk it out of a bottle, so I mean, I'm no one to... To each their own, right? To each their own. But that's how you normally have a drink out of that thing? No.

It's just the first thing that I offered, and I said, sure. Oh, okay. I love it. Well, I have a little tequila. This is the one day of the week I allow myself a drink or two. Okay. Is tequila your preferred choice? It is now.

When I was younger, I drank Jack Daniels, but, you know, as we go down the path of life, so for you, you have to throttle back, and you're on a shorter leash as to what, you know, you can get away with health-wise, and, you know, I mean, I still want to be everything I always was at this age. You can if you don't abuse your body. It's amazing how much you can abuse your body when you're younger. I know you look like you're in perfect health. You don't look like you do drugs. Thank you.

Do you do drugs? I don't know. Would you like to start? Not ideally. Not ideally. Of course that's a joke. See, this is why people won't talk to me. Come on, I'm enjoying my time so far.

But my parents, they were on drugs a little bit during my childhood and I think I've learned my lesson and I'm never going to go down that path. It's such a common story that I hear. It's so sad. You know, when I grew up as a child in the 60s, a teenager in the 70s, there was like not even any divorce in town. It was so innocent and people, families stayed together. The parents definitely weren't on drugs.

And now it's the rule. If you're a kid, you're a age. and the parents who stayed together and nothing weird or stupid or horrible or like, you know, cringy happened. You're one of the lucky ones. It's rare. It's rare.

You would know, I mean, the people your age. Mm-hmm. Everyone. You have girlfriends you can trust? Oh, yes. 100. I have girlfriends that I grew up with that I'm still very close with today. I always think that's a very important measure of a young girl's life. A hundred percent agree.

Because a lot of them don't have friends. or ones they can trust. And I don't trust them if they don't have a girlfriend. Okay. See, some girls are just about the guys. Yes, yes. And I've met a couple. A couple, and it's a couple of girls that are like that.

They only, like, and, like, they don't care about if they hurt my feelings, you know? Like, they'll throw me, they'll throw me a curb ball to make the guy impressed and stuff like that. Like, it's just annoying. I can't stand that. Like, what do you mean? Like, what do you mean to throw you a curb? Like, you know, like, if there's, like, two girls hanging out and then there's a guy and, like, both girls like the guy. Right.

Obviously, the other girl's going to try to put down the other girl to try to make herself look better, you know? Like, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's L mentality. I mean, I'm sure this is wading into, you know, politically incorrect territory, which is certainly that's something I would ever do. But, like, there is a very big difference between the NBA and the WNBA. in several ways. But one of them is girls, you know, like the guys in the NBA, they don't have like any like beef other than what's, if you foul me in the game.

You know, I might take umbrage at that and pop you and they do get into fights, but they don't bring feuds and have hatreds and who's she. And the WNBA is just a soap opera. I feel like it's full of that. It's just a soap opera. Yes, I do. I see it. I can agree.

It's possibly why it's also gained in popularity, one reason. For sure. I feel like that's also why it's probably amped up, too, just to get some traction to WNBA. If in the NBA, the guys were all fighting and fucking each other. Definitely going to get some clicks. Definitely going to get some clicks, for sure. Yeah. If a lot of the NBA, if a lot of that was gay, it would be a very different league.

You know, if I knew that Luca Donkic was, you know, was gay. That's not name other players. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone's going to get angry. Someone's going to get angry. But congratulations because, like, to be number one at anything, but especially, because you're number one, right,

and Only fans. I like to think so, but I could never know because Only fans will never put out a statement who is actually the top person. And I've personally been in the only fans. OnlyFans headquarters, and they would not tell me. Then why do I keep reading that? That's just what everyone says.

No one has been able to prove, like I've been able to prove. So I do believe it. Well, I say you're number one. You're number one. I'm number one. I'm number one. That's what I've been saying. Has anyone on OnlyFans ever asked you to do number one?

Because there's a lot of perverts on there, aren't there? I think I, yeah, I have. I have actually. Is that a request? That is a request. That is a request. I've gotten some crazy requests. I know a girl, I don't know if I'm allowed to say this,

I know a girl that had a request to fly all the way to Dubai and have the guy poop on her. I'm so not surprised. Are you joking? Well, I mean, first of all, this phenomenon, now, Sophie, you're talking to someone who's very anal about shit. Like, I really, no one likes shit, but no one hates it more than me.

Like, if I see it in a movie, I speed through the part of that. I just don't find it funny. I find it gross. It is gross. It should, but I agree. Yeah. But I do know that this has been a kink forever. What?

They used to call it. Maybe they still do. A plate man? Did you ever hear that term? No. Is that actually what it's called? Well, yes, this definitely was a thing. There was a famous comedian of yesteryear.

I'm sure you wouldn't know the name, and I'm not going to say it. and the people who know, no. Right. But he was a big star. I never thought he was funny. He was on my never funny list, but he was older than me. And I was a kid, and he was like a, you know.

Anyway, he was supposedly a plate man. Like, and a plate man was someone who would get under a glass coffee table while the woman did this. Yeah, yeah. He, um, yeah. See, like, I don't, I don't, I don't see the appeal in that. No. Like, I don't see the appeal at all.

But there's so many weird, unappealing things I think that people do. I had a whole bit about this in one of my specials about how even in my fantasies, I don't do weird things. Like, you'd think, okay, you're just in your mind. You can do anything. Even in my mind, I don't spit on anybody, choke anybody, come on your face, fuck you in the ass. It's just like a little more exciting, you know? You know, when you're hiring, you want to know who actually wants the job, but you don't need somebody mailing you one dress shoe with a note that says,

now that's my foot in the door, let's talk. You just need ZipRecruiter. ZipRecruiter has a new feature that shows you the most interested, qualified candidates first. So you meet the right people faster. Candidates can tell you in their own words why they're excited about your job and ZipRecruiter's powerful matching technology finds qualified candidates quickly. It's no wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one-rated hiring site

based on G2. ZipRecruiter makes it easy for amazing candidates to get your attention, four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash random. That is ZipRecruiter.com slash random.

Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. Just a little more hamped up. So I certainly wouldn't do it in real life. Now, maybe that makes me vanilla. I mean, some would say, but I feel like that's just normal. I just feel like sex is good. Why, I don't need to... But the amount of people who do weird things...

Come on, you must be on the front lines of this. Oh, yes. Like I said, I've come across some crazy stuff. I think that was the craziest, though. I've never heard of that what you were explaining. I don't even want to say it because it is just disgusting. But I mean, and also peeing. I mean.

Yeah, yeah. I don't understand that at all. I don't either, but I don't even understand food. It's less weird and disgusting than shitting and pissing. But people who involve food in sex, I feel like they're not doing it right. You're filling some sort of void with lemon meringue pie that, like, you should. Like, just eat at the table. Just eat the pie at the table.

table. Like, you don't have to do anything crazy with it. Well, there's that old saying, you know, don't shit where you eat. Yeah. Which has to do with, you know, workplace, you know. You know, I got peed on recently, actually. We'll be right back. I was in green. Talk shows have really changed. What do you mean peed on?

I was on, I was in Greece, and I got stung really bad by a jellyfish. And that's what everyone tells you is to pee on. No, it's a lot. I've heard that. Oh, it is? It's a myth. Just an excuse to pee on chicks? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I had someone pee for me, and I put it on because it was hurting so bad. And I didn't know what I got stung by because I was swimming in the water and then I just felt my whole leg like go numb.

And I was like, oh, my God, like, I'm about to have to chop my leg off. So I was freaking out anything. I pulled myself on the boat. I was like, do you have anything? And they were like, pee? But it didn't do anything. It made it worse. Like, 100% made it worse.

It does sound like something a medieval barber would suggest. Right? Like, who made me? Who made that up? That's disgusting. It's the people with the kink. They made that up. I think you're right.

Like, it's not a real thing. It doesn't help at all. I looked it up. Yeah, I mean, you can understand why people would fall for it because we're not scientists. Sometimes there is a weird, counterintuitive thing that does work. Sometimes there is. I mean, medicine and science is more complicated than laymen like us.

No. But you're right. I mean, it's just one of those things that people hear and they don't know how to contrafeud it, so they just go with it. It's just like, yeah, oh, yeah. And then it becomes folklore. Then it becomes more than a wives tale. It just becomes like the conventional wisdom, the accepted wisdom.

What's another example I would think of that? Oh, there's plenty. I mean, there's so many things. that we just repeat. People just repeat because this is why it's so dangerous, you know, to have people write things about you, even if it's on the internet, because there is something about writing

as opposed to just speaking that immediately in our brains just infuses something with more gravity. Okay. You know, you're reading it. Yes. And maybe part of your brain, knows, well, this totally could be bullshit, but your kind of, your inclination is just, oh, I read it,

okay, and now it's in my brain, and it becomes true. And, you know, when I look at how wrong they are about a subject I know really well, me, it just makes me go, what about these other things that I read anything else? big political things, little things, pop culture. If they're getting me so wrong, where I actually know the truth, because I am me. Right. Then what are they, you know? How much other stuff is wrong?

I don't, I mean... You never know. That's why, that's what earlier, like, people will see one thing online about you and they think they know exactly who you are. Who do they think you are? A lot of people think that I'm just a rich, only fans, if you will, say whore. And that's all I get. I'm not a real person. I'm just online, you know.

People don't see me as a real person. You know, as we were starting to say before about the distaff side of life, they are different in the men, superior in many ways, but also just much more catty. Like, you know, two guys are sitting in a bar and another guy walks in. We don't even see them. to women are sitting there when a woman walks in, it's like, well, who's she? Yep, that is true.

I can't sit here and lie. That is true. That is true. So a lot of it is that, like, whether you're number one or whatever, you are rich. You did take this thing that so many people have tried to master and have been an enormous success about it. So, yeah, it's that girl you were talking about before. Except it's not just one guy she has to put you down in front of.

It's the whole country. Oh, yeah. So I assume that's what's going on. A little bit. They're jealous and... Probably, yeah, definitely. Because, I mean, I definitely have, like, money. I'm not saying that I'm rich and that's the only thing that they see.

But, like, people just can't see anything past that, you know? And it's sad. Did you make the kind of money that they report in the paper or is that bullshit, too? That is very true. It is very true. Like, how much money have you made all that? together now? All together. I've been doing this for two and a half years. I've made over a hundred million dollars. But obviously there's taxes. I got to pay and all the people I have employed. I've

got to pay that. Yeah, taxes is not fun. I actually need to do my taxes. I had to file an extension like 20 times. It's really bad. Why? You're spending the money? I'm spending money for sure. I'm spending money for sure. I'm just really bad at answering my... Went through 100 million? Oh no, no, no, no, no. I'm investing most of my money. I have a really awesome financial advisor. I love him so much. You need that. I literally tell him I'm only allowed this much money a month.

Don't give me any more if I ask for more. Very smart. Just because I know what it was like struggling growing up. I don't ever, I can't go back to that. I don't want to go back to that. I can't. I support my entire family now. I bought my mom and dad a house.

I retired them. They take care of my animals when I'm traveling. So it's a really good balance. And like, I love it. And like, I can pay them and return. for them helping me. It's just awesome. It's a really good...

This is all I ever wanted was just my family to be together. I think we're both animal lovers. I've been a Pita Board member since the 90s. Really? Oh, yeah. I mean, that's my cause.

And I have many animals around here, even though it's not exactly a farm. But, like, I know if you saw when you walked out, if you walked down here, you saw the grass is all a mess. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful, but you see that there's no like grass.

That's because I don't kill the groundhog. I let them have their... run of the place. Yo. And they take advantage of me. I have horrible. I don't know what they are. They're moles.

Yes. My grandpa... Yeah, something. My grandpa called them salamanders. I don't know what that. Salamanders, no. That's a lizard. I was going to say, that's what I thought.

But he said, no, it's another type of gopher. Anyways, I have them all over my yard. I have them all over. Yeah, I'm not going to kill them. I don't care about my yard. What am I? A suburban dad? Yeah.

You know? No, I live in the middle of nowhere. No one sees my yard. I have... I let them do whatever. that come by, they go for a while and then they come back. We feed them. They walk around very freely.

Sometimes they go in the pool. They know they're not supposed to. I yell at them. They're bad. They really are. All the animals take advantage of me and, you know, I'm too nice. I had two ducks also. Beehives, you know, that are great and fish, poipon.

I mean, I like being surrounded by nature and animals, you know, and always have dogs. That's where you and I agree on. I love animals. That's what I want to do is I just want to live on a farm. That's the goal for me, is to own a lot of land and just rescue animals. That's all I want to do. You know what's in every paycheck, a deduction for health insurance? You know what most online therapy platforms do when you try to use it? Pretend it doesn't exist. They want the subscription, the out-of-pocket fees. Your insurance card might as well be a library card. Rula actually takes it. Novel concept, huh?

They partner with over 100 major insurance plans and the average copay is $15, depending on your benefits. Could be zero. And they don't just throw you at whoever has an opening. Rula matches you with the right therapist or psychiatrist from a vetted network of 15,000-plus licensed professionals built around your goals and background. No weight.

appointments as soon as tomorrow, and they stick with you to make sure that things actually working. Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable high-quality therapy that is actually covered by insurance. So visit rula.com slash random to get started. That is r-u-la-com slash random. You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget. But the other thing that, I mean, excuse me, if this is ignorant, I just know what I know in the weed, because, I mean, even your success got onto my radar, you know, and I usually don't traffic too much in pop culture, except when it rises to a certain level. But so it is phenomenal.

The other thing they write about you is that you're a virgin. The first thing I thought I knew about you, but I don't think that was right, was that you were, again, to your point about what they say, was that, you know, or maybe I just got it in my head wrong, that you were this virgin on the Onlyfans who was kind of like, well, you were seeking the guy to, you know, shall we say, open Al Capone's vault. I see, I see.

That's not the case. That's not the case. I am a virgin. You are a virgin. a virgin, I grew up with no friends. I didn't have anyone growing up besides my two girlfriends that I'm still very close with today. Those were it. And I didn't do extra-collarial activities. Like, I didn't go out. I didn't have fun. I was just school home, school home. So, like, I never had a relationship with anyone. And then I started working. I was serving for about four years

at a mom-and-pop restaurant. I was a waitress. And I did that. I started talking to a guy there, never worked out, and then now I'm here. And I'm just waiting for the right person. But now everyone knows me and it's like weird. So like I'm trying to date. It's going to be a little weird now. It's hard. It's hard now.

So I'm just waiting for the right person. Worth it. You know, I'm waiting. $100 million. Yeah, right? Well, you know, people seem to think, especially in the age of, you know, like dating over the phone and AI, that they can somehow quantify love. and somehow manipulated.

And I guess you can to a degree. You know, back when I was first out there, there was no way of narrowing the field to just the people who might be closer to what you were looking for. You just went to the bar. Whoever was there that night? You know, you just got lucky on a Tuesday night.

Okay, maybe that was just very scattershot. And now it's like, I will fill out this profile and tell you everything about me, then this other person. Oh, my gosh. You like ducks too, but I just don't think at the end of the day, that kind of stuff is what's going to be determinative. It very often might be the person who you have very little seemingly in common. I totally agree.

But somehow you vibe. I totally agree. Or you fill in each others. You know, who wants someone who's their clone? Yeah, right? I feel like it's like it's good to have like two, what is it called, like battery ends, positive and negative? Anode or ACDC? Like a positive and a negative.

You can't be too similar because then you guys butt heads. A penis and a vagina, for example. There we go. That's a really good example. Well, that's what they call it in the back. That is true. That is what they call it. That is what they call it.

Well, what do you think of the fact that we do live in an age? And I'm a supporter of trans rights and then the idea that people are trans, but I don't want to load the issue. What do you think about the fact that, you know, someone is born and they are not always quote unquote in the right body. I mean, it's honestly such a hard subject, I feel like, because it's, I feel like I could talk about this for a long time. I think it's okay,

but I can't stand the way that they push it on to other people. I feel like... I agree. That's exactly my position. Yeah, I think it's totally fine. It's too much, but sometimes you become a Karen yourself. Yes, 100%. 100%.

And, you know, and just exaggerate, like, everything about the likelihood that this is a phenomenon that's going to happen, it does happen. We should protect and respect people like that, but they are no less than us, and I would welcome, sometimes people have, like, yelled at me, like, Bill, do you have a trans friend? No, not because I'm avoiding them. Yeah. Because they're apparently avoiding me.

Or maybe we just don't travel in the same circles. Yeah, exactly. But it's not like I'm, I have a policy. Yes. And look, I have talked to a number of parents who have trans kids, and some of them have convinced me, and I think it's true, that they knew very early on. I mean, that's what they say, is like, you know what, we knew this when he was two, three, four, or five, whatever.

I've also had people say, women say to me, I was a tomboy. And if I grew up now, as opposed to... to when I grew up then, they would have put a dick on me. Mm-hmm. No, for sure. I feel like I kind of grew up tomboy. I was into Pokemon. I had two brothers.

So I was just surrounded by that lifestyle, and that's really why I don't think I had a lot of friends. Like, I didn't like doing the girly stuff. I'd never got my fingernails painted. I don't like doing my hair done. I don't know how to do my hair because I never got my hair done. That does not speak badly of you. Well, thank you.

That you're smarter than the average. I mean, I'm not putting girls down. Yeah, no. I mean, everybody at that age is stupid, quite frankly. I certainly was. You know, it's the stupid age. You know, you're an adult, which means you have access to adult things, but you don't really have an adult mind you.

Yeah, you're still figuring things out. You're a dummy who can drive and fuck and do a lot of adult things, and you're just doing them badly or wrong. But girls just mature so much earlier. Like you're, how old are you? I'm about to turn 22. I'm 21 right now. Oh, 21. Well, you're very mature. You're very poised and, oh yeah, believe me.

I've had some people here who were, let's not go into it. Anyway, but you're, yes, you're very collected. I appreciate it. You know, it's absolutely true. And I've known a lot of girls in their 20s. At 21, they're usually pretty ditsy. 25, whole different story. Like they will mature between 21 and 25, whereas,

are not even beginning to mature at 25. Really? I thought that's when they mature, is at 25. 25? Yeah. You've met a mature 25-year-old guy? I don't think I've ever met a mature guy. Okay. If I'm being honest.

Right, because you're 21 because they're old. Yeah, that is true. And I hate to disappoint you, but it goes on way past 25. That's crazy. That's only the beginning of when you're dangerous. Oh, so I got a long way to go. Yeah, because now you have a car. Well, there's a reason why girls, like in school,

they're always going out with the upper, classmen, we just don't mature at the same rate. So, yeah. Is there science behind that? Why? Science. Well, if you're going to drag that into it. I'm just curious.

No, it's a great question. I'm sure there is. I am not the person to answer the question, but are there people who study brainwaves and the brains of men, women, and Neanderthals? and chimps. Yeah, I'm sure there are. I know there are. What they're finding in there, I don't know.

It also has to, could have something to do with hormones. That is true. Testosterone, too much of it coursing through your body. Like, it's not like I didn't have a good brain. I went to an Ivy League college. I mean, I was a very good student. You know, I did learn a lot and put a lot in my brain, but it still never overruled my brain.

dick. Okay, that's good. And that, well, it's not always good. No, it's not always good. Okay. I mean, you don't want your dick doing your thinking for you. Oh, well, yeah, no. I thought you meant the opposite. Oh, I probably said it wrong. My dick overruled my brain. There we go. That's what was the problem. Oh, yeah. No, that's no good. And, you know, my brain was good, but it was, it was no match for my dick. Okay, okay. And I think that's a big problem. Although I also hear that the men today are pussies. That's the complaint I hear from a lot of young women is that they want a man to be a man without being a dick about it.

They're divas. Divas, yes. They're divas nowadays. Like, I've noticed more and more, like, every time I go to the club, there's more and more, like, guys, like, dancing on, like, tables when I should be seeing, like, girls dancing. Really? Yes.

Guys are dancing on tables? Yes, I've seen it. First hand. First hand, I've seen it in Miami. It's really heartbreaking, because I'm like... Is that where you live? Yes, I will. I technically live in Tampa, but I go to Miami all the time.

And you go to the clubs? I do go to the clubs in Miami. For fun? Just for fun, honestly, for fun. So this is not like for a promotion or something? Oh, no, no, no. I like to just go, like, with my friends. Like, anytime that there's a birthday, we're going to a club in Miami, I feel like.

And I do a lot of stuff in Miami. Like, I just did swim week in Miami. We went to the club after to celebrate. And do you get mob by fans? Yes and no, it's really hard for me to go to the bathroom in the club Because you have to push by everyone, you know, and you have to make arm chains so you don't get lost And like every time I do that, someone's like grabbing me Well, people will spend hours optimizing their health supplements, sleep tracking, yeah

The whole longevity trend, well completely ignoring the body's largest organ We treat skin like cosmetic wrapping paper Hey, it's living tissue, folks. It's ages from the inside out. That's what makes one skin different. No gimmicks. They look at how skin actually ages at the cellular level. Founded by four PhD longevity scientists who created a proprietary peptide OS1,

it's designed to target the cells that drive visible aging instead of masking the damage. In their research, the team saw smoother. firmer-looking skin, a more even tone, and a healthier overall appearance. One-skins backed by four peer-reviewed clinical studies, over 10,000 five-star reviews, and nods from Bloomberg and Fast Company as a leader in skin longevity. Born from over 10 years of longevity research, one-skin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try One-Skin with 15 percent off using code random at oneskin.co slash random. That is 15% off, oneskin.com with code random. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell

them we sent you. You must have a security person. I don't. Well, get one. I know. Everyone is telling me I need to get one, but like... Everyone's right. I just feel so, I don't know, I feel awful making someone risk their life for me. I just don't like that. You'll get over it. I do. I feel like I need to because I definitely need to care of me. Oh, you definitely need to.

You're a girl. I went to Greece and I got cornered by these. It wasn't even scary. You need to do this yesterday. Yeah, I know, I needed to do this. You just, you know what? Just don't get a stupid one. Yeah.

Like, you know what you don't need? Some big guy. Yeah. A big muscle-bound jerk who looks like He's wanting to fight and justify his job. No, you just need it like just a regular looking, but, you know, there are guys like this, trust me. Oh, yeah. I found one.

Okay. Like, they're not threatening looking, but yes, could they kill you, of course? Never know. You never know. That's who I need to look for. But they do the job more with their mind. They do the job with their mind. Okay.

They can see trouble. They can just size up a room, size up people. As opposed to someone who just does it by rote. Someone who does it just by the book. You know, this is the difference between, for example, Israeli security and American at the airport. We have robots. I mean, they're humans, but they act like robots.

Israeli security, totally different. They have the smartest people. in the country, ex-military intelligence, who work the airport, and they just, they're smart. They can see who might be trouble. They don't pretend like it could be everybody equally. They know what questions to ask. What questions to ask. You know, they just do it in a really smart way.

You got to get the equivalent of that for a security person. And then they don't even look like they're a security person. They just look like the average joke. Yeah, you don't want some muscle-bound guy in a tight t-shirt like showing pop in his collar because that's what he gets him off and a piece in his ear and like you know come on man. Acted all big and bad. Right.

You know, be an extra on the next Jack Ryan movie. But you just need a guy who, you know, or you could even probably get a badass girl. That is true. I just went to the MVP girls women or women's boxing event and oh my gosh, women are scary when they're like love. You know what? That's what you should do. That would be like a really cool thing to do.

You think? Fuck, yeah. That would be very cool. And I don't think you would have to give up a lot of, I think, you know, there are tough women who can do that. And, I mean, just going by what I see on Lioness. Oh, yeah. Do you watch The Lioness? I, you know what?

It's on my list to watch because I really want to watch it. I really want to watch it. I've seen so many clips online about it. Oh, it's awesome. I love when, like, a woman makes me scared. You know, like, it's so empowering. I just, I like it. How do they scare you?

Like, when I was at that. boxing event like Amanda Serrano that's who we were watching like she's just so like muscular and like was just punching this other girl and I was like oh my gosh like I'm terrified she's just she's a badass you know yes she's a badass because I know I could never do I'd be I think it's crazy girls punching each other but you know I mean it takes all constant yo there's some I was gonna say there's all kinds of stuff out there it takes all kinds to fill the freeway and and they obviously get off on it you know yeah I mean they're signing up for us so okay watch lioness there's like two there's two chicks in her like squad

who are lovers okay they're both like bad at they would be both be perfect if they lived in red not the actress right if they were real people if they were real and they're both kind of hot well if if you know anyone and if you ever meet anyone that's like that you know where to send them i will not I mean, that's not going to happen. I can't. I don't want to give your hopes up. A girl can always dream. But you should do it now.

Okay. That's ridiculous that you're, with your level, your profile, just your bank account that's so public. Yes. That alone makes you a target. I know. I'm working on security right now, actually. Because I was just in Greece and I had a really bad experience with a lot of people. Well, you're going to have a lot worse experiences.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. Again, you just need one person. Yeah, that's it. And they can sit off to the side. They don't have to be your friend.

Maybe they become your friend, but a friend who knows when they're working, I'm working first. Yes. You know? I mean, I never travel alone. So there's that. At least I'm not traveling alone.

I could name more than a few female celebrities who married the bodyguard. Oh, really? You didn't know that? No, I don't keep up that much. I don't keep up that much with online stuff. Yeah, whenever, like, I'm not... You don't know what you're missing.

Whenever I'm not, like, actively making content, I just turn my phone off and I'm literally just at home playing with my cows. What about the movie, The Bodyguard? Never saw that? Oh, put that on your list. Okay, I'm going to. Who's in that? So hot.

Who's in that? What? Whitney Houston. Okay, okay, I'm going to watch it then. That's all you had to say. Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner. Okay, the bodyguard. He's the bodyguard.

She's the singing star. Okay. And she's, you know, she's like Whitney Houston. Right, right. She's literally Whitney Houston. She's literally that. And she needs a bodyguard. Okay.

And Kevin Costner is just the man for the job in every way, if you know what I mean. She ain't no virgin. Okay. Okay, okay, I see where this is going. I see where this is going. So you're not like on the hunt to end your virginity. You're just like, when it happens, it happens. Exactly, exactly.

But you don't want to get to like 30. That'll be embarrassing. I mean, I would like to be, like, married to the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. Like, maybe in a couple years, you know, like, I don't want to wait too long. I want to start getting my life started, I feel like. And what is your ideal man? Like if you had to just conjure it up. My idea.

Make this. AI, please, right now. Make this version. I would like, I don't, I would like them to be fit. I want someone that can bring me to the gym. I've never gone to the gym a day of my life. And I need to go. I want to go because like you were saying earlier, our bodies,

we need to start taking care of them. And I want to start taking care of my body. So I need someone that's in the gym and that knows how to go to the gym. And then honestly, just someone that can make me laugh. That's it. I just want laughter in my life. And also, someone that just loves me unconditionally and obviously won't cheat. I feel like that's a given.

Well, I'm sorry, I'm taken, but I watch my body like a teenage girl. Like I am I mean, you look great. Well, thanks. You look very great. You look very great. You know, I always say for, you know, like when people say at this age, you look great, they're always should be a little kairun underneath it for your age. Which is all you can hope for. And that's fine. Yeah. But, no, I cannot stand an ounce of fat. I just can't. And I'm not fan of it on other people either. And that doesn't mean they're bad people.

Or like, I understand people have habits. Look, look, I can't stop smoking pot. I really don't want to, but I, you know. But the fact that it became trendy, it became almost like a statement, a good statement, You know, body positivity. Remember that? And then Ozempic came along.

And then now everyone's skinny. Everyone's skinny. What happened to healthy? We could all be healthy at any weight. It was just like they were selling such bullshit. And I felt like it was overnight, too. Overnight. Like I woke up in every single person I'm seeing online is like skin and bones and what is going on right now.

Right. It's scary. It's scary. I feel like we're reverting back to like the 2000s, like bad body image. Not that it's bad, but like. Obviously, with eating disorders and stuff, it's causing young girls to think that way. Well, but you're naturally voluptuous. I feel like a lot of it is, well, I know a lot of it is artificial.

It's butt implants and tit implants and, you know, they just, no one in any way, we were talking before about sexually, but even body wise, No one really thinks how you're born is what you have to be stuck with. And, you know, I'm not against that thinking. I just think there isn't a balanced view put out there enough to say, okay, you can fuck with your body in any way you want. But just know, we're not living in the 23rd century where we can just, like, do it, and there are no repercussions. Yes.

Like, even if I thought I was a woman in my mind, I wouldn't do anything to my body because I know how much my body. Pain. What? That's a lot of pain. Pain and also like doing things to your body doesn't. I mean, some of them work. But that kind of stuff, I mean, the plumbing you're given.

I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. I'm just saying, can we consider that a little more seriously that if you try to change the plumbing of your urinary tract, for example, I can't believe it's going to work as good. And, you know, as any man knows, when you get to 70, it doesn't work as good anyway. Like, is there, is there any of like, can you revert that? Like, is there a way to revert it? No. See, that's scary.

Like, people don't, I feel like people aren't thinking about it. I'm not saying everybody is trying to steal your stuff when you travel, but let's be honest. Leaving your bag with an airline is basically an act of pure faith. That zipper on your bag? It's not really stopping anything. That is why Noble, NOBL, completely ditched the zipper. Their all-in-one carry-on uses a zipperless latch lock that shuts like a safe, and they fixed every annoying detail of travel.

Built-in phone charger, a front laptop pocket, smooth 360-degree wheels, and a flip-out cup holder. Because juggling coffee and a boarding-coct-a-boarding. Pass is how good mornings die. Over 12,000 pilots and flight attendants swear by Noble. Highest rated luggage brand in its category on Trust Pilot. Over 500,000 suitcases sold. Even TSA agents say it helps prevent theft and tampering.

With free, three-day express shipping, 100-day money-back guarantee, and a lifetime warranty, it's the last suitcase you'll ever buy. Noble gives you real travel peace of mind, security, design, and convenience all in one. Head to Noble Travel.com for up to 46% off your entire order. That is, N-O-B-L Travel.com for up to 46% off. After your purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. A doctor once explained to me that the bladder

is like the analogy she used was like vaginas when they, when they, I don't know, like, you know, like something about... Yeah. Yeah. I'm waiting. Like, it doesn't spring back. Like to, like, once the elasticity and the pushability and the pushability, is dissipated.

These are technical terms. Don't try it at home. Once that has become inflabulated, it doesn't come back. That's a big word.

So like a bladder is kind of like that. Like when you're young, they say you're pissed like a racehorse. Because, you know, it just pushes like it. It's going to crazy and you know and then at my age you get up if you're lucky and I'm lucky at this point

once a night to pee which you never I never did that at 30 I know I'm not looking forward to that I mean when I was in my 20s I would sleep you know a long time nothing you sleep better when you're young wake up in bed now I would if I woke up in bed I'd have to pee yeah jerk off go back to sleep I got to get that in there I had to get that in there. I mean, I did. That was my life. Dude, there was, I recently, I slept 17 hours straight one time.

People, your age can do that. I literally thought, like, I woke up and it was like the next day after the time I fell asleep, I'm like, am I alive? Like, what happened? That's never happened to me before. And I'm like, how did I not wake up to have to pee? I just, I don't know. Because your bladder is not infamulated.

Exactly. And I'm not looking forward to being infabulated. It's infatuated, whatever this word is. I don't know what this word is. Did you come up with that? I think I did. I like it. I blame the pot.

I'm going to add it to my dictionary. I really like it. It was a very unscientific way of, I'm hoping, getting the point across. Yeah, I mean, everything as you get older, you know, gets hairier and closer to the ground. It's just how it is, unfortunately. It's just how it is. But it's amazing the way. I mean, I never thought that I would, I mean, I played basketball for two hours last night.

They thought that my father would do that at 70. I mean, it was just insane. Well, he was dead at 71. But, like, even at 50, like, people in that era, they just didn't, like, think you could, like, it seemed like that. That you could stay in shape or, of course, he had kids. I think when you have kids, it takes a lot out of it. Like, I never had kids. I'm sorry.

I'm sure kids are great. Except with that lady who just strangled three of them, but... I don't want kids either. Oh, you don't? It's so interesting that you want a life-made, but not kids. I think also that is a really big struggle, because I can't find someone that also doesn't want kids. I just don't want kids.

I'm too selfish. You're talking about it from now. I'm just too selfish. I made it to 70 and never had kids. There we go. I like that. There's a future. There's a future.

Yeah, no. I mean, I had my eye on the price. I wandered off. so many things, so stupid. But that one, marriage, kids, I kind of always got to know whatever shit you're in now and however bad you're feeling, that is the fire from the frying there. It just is.

It is. For me, not for everybody. I mean, a lot of people, of course, you know, I always say it. Like, even celebrities have kids. There must be something to it. Must be. They don't need it. They have fans.

They have money. They travel. They just don't fucking need kids. I want to be, I want to be like my babysitter for all my friends. Like, if you ever need to go on a break, I'll take care of your kid for that week. But, like, after that, like, have them. I don't want kids. So you don't dislike kids. I don't, I don't dislike kids.

I just personally, like, I don't, this is going to sound so weird. I don't see the appeal on having kids. You birth this thing out of you, and now your body's, like, different for the rest of your life. Most of the time, they're probably going to be a shithead anyways. They're going to be a little kid. annoying, spitting up on, like, ah, uh. You're saying everything I said 40 years ago. Yeah, it's like, I don't have to do with that.

Exactly. And more and more people feel that way. Yes. To the point now where there is a counter movement led by people like Elon Musk, but he's not the only one who are so, oh my God, they're upset that we're not having enough babies. I'm like, I've been saying for like decades, have less babies. There's too many people here now.

I was going to say, isn't this the most people there's ever been on? Of course. Why are we freaking out about not having babies? And we don't have enough resources for them now. Water, finite. They do not seem to understand these geniuses of the world. What the word finite means. We're running out of water here as it is now in the southwest.

Have you seen Avengers? Endgame? No, I don't watch those kind of. You know Thanos? I heard the name. I think he was on to something. Who's that? He's the villain and Avengers,

and basically what he did was he wiped out half the population. Who were Avengers? They're like mutants or something? They're like Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk. You know those. I know them all, but now let's go through it. Avengers. That's a group?

They're like, it's the Avengers. It's like NATO. They're all part of the same. Yeah, so the Avengers, this is Marvel. So all the Avengers, they're like this group, and they help defeat the villain that's evading New York because it's only ever New York City.

That's coming to attack New York. Really? I feel like, I feel like every single movie it's New York City. Yeah, because they're lazy. It's easier to shoot there. Yeah.

Okay. But yeah, it's Iron Man. Captain America, the Hulk, Black Widow, and Hawkeye, and they're the Avengers. Okay, I know all those. Captain America, that's my friend. That's who plays him?

Chris Evans. Chris Evans, yes. That's your friend? Yes. I love that guy. Yeah. And then Iron Man? Iron Man is Robert Downey. Yep.

The Hulk? Hulk is probably, don't say Mark Ruffalo. It is Mark Ruffalo. Oh, my God. Don't divert me into... And then Black Widow? You know who Black Widow is? You know it. Scarlet your hands?

Yep. Look at you. Well, this is what I call mind rape. Okay. Mind rape means things I did not want in my mind. I see. That because society, and look, I got to give some credit when you're that big, it just gets in my mind. I never wanted to know who the Kardashians were dating, but I can't help it.

Yeah, can't help it. You just see it. But the one I don't know is Hawkeye? Hawkeye. Who's that? What's that? Jeremy Renner. I love Jeremy Renner.

He's Hawkeye? Yeah, he's Hawkeye. And what is his power? He'll never miss with his bow and arrow. Really? I know. He's the worst Avenger. I love him.

I do love Jeremy Renner. But he was the, he's the worst Avenger. But anyways, Thanos, his whole spiel. Who's that? Who plays that? Thanos is Josh, no. And he's the bad guy. I don't know.

It's like he's CGI, he's big and purple. And it's always this one guy's the villain? No, no, no. He was just the villain for like two, maybe three movies because he was like the big villain that they were like leading up to, you know, they had previous movies where there was like little, you know, side bad guys and then Thanos was the villain. Anyways, Thanos, his idea that he wanted to do was there was not enough resources on planet Earth, so he wiped out half the population.

He genuinely believed that he was doing a good thing for people because now the people who survived. Didn't one of Batman's villains have the same plan? I feel like there's like two or at best three plans that, okay, we'll get a virus that takes over the world, but only I have the cure. But he won, but Thanos won. the crazy part. He actually... Wipeed out half the world. He actually wiped out half the population in the movie. Why, I'd like to shake his hand. Right? That's what I said. I'm just kidding. Yeah, I'm joking. I'm joking. No, totally. Every day at 2 o'clock, America turns into a zombie

movie. And what's our solution? Chugging liquid anxiety out of a neon can. Your heart's hammering because you consumed enough caffeine to jumpstart a minivan. This is not a health strategy. That's why there's ultra-neutropic pouches, zero nicotine, zero caffeine, just instant focus without the crash or the jitters. Alter worked with neuroscientists to blend clean neutropics, Infinity PX, Elthianine, and B vitamins for steady mental clarity, a calm flow instead of feeling like you're being chased. It won't wreck your sleep like caffeine does. Flavors like Blue Raz actually tastes good, and it lives in your desk or gym bag for whenever you need a push. 90% of users saw significant improvements in focus, and over 100 football players trusted,

including Dak Prescott and Joe Burrow. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch, delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use code random to get 15% off at takeultra.com. That is, takeultra.com, 15% off with code random. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. I definitely think that, like, it was a good idea for a villain because, like, I feel like a lot of people I've seen online debating,

like, oh, Thanos was actually on to something. Like, what if he decided to just take out, like, all the bad people and then all the good people left and then there's resources? So, like, I get it. Obviously, it's bad, but, like, I get it. Well, apropos of what I was saying about Linus and how right she is about how we have to conduct ourselves, I was just watching the new Jack Ryan movie, which I love the Jack Ryan movies, and I love John Cresensky. He's great in them. He's great in everything.

I love John Cresensky. Yeah, he's so great that he does that other series about how everyone has to be really quiet. I think it's called the perfect marriage. Okay. Perfect marriage? No, but they have to be very quiet. Love that. Love that. Very quiet. Okay, but like in, I just watched the new Jack Ryan one. And like there's a big. bad guy in it who I'm literally saying, wait, I'm actually with the bad guy. Because the bad guy is the one, now, maybe he goes too far because he's trying to prove that we need to have more of the post-9-11 mentality to deal with the people who are really, you know, gutting for us. And, you know, when you do that, you always have to sacrifice a little bit.

bit of humanity. You know, if somebody you know is about to blow up the Brooklyn Bridge and you have them, do you torture them to, so you can save thousands of people on the bridge, I would say yes. But, you know, people who are very pure would say no. And that's the fight in the movie. Yes, yes, I see. And I was literally like, wait, I think I'm actually with the bed. I mean, there's one thing to be like understanding of the bad guy, because that's like the godfather,

perfect example. You really understand why they are the way they are. And that's a good movie where you understand the bad guy's point of view. Terrorists do have a point of view. Everyone has a point of view. Right. But this was like, no, I'm with this guy. How many Jack Ryan movies are there?

Oh, well, Harrison Ford used to play him. Yes, I did know that. Right. I didn't know that. There was a series with Harrison Ford, and then he aged out. out and then they brought it back with John. I feel like they're doing that to a lot of his movies. See, that's the thing.

My heroes are not like Marvel types. I have heroes just like you do. But they're much more like in the real world. Who's one of your heroes? Jason Bourne. Okay, I like Jason Bourne. Robert McCall. You know who that is?

The Equalizer? Okay, yes. Now that you've said that, yes. Okay. There's three of those. That's my kind. Elizabeth Salander. That's the bitch.

the baddest bitch ever. You want to know one of my favorite movies who I think is like, this is who I need as a security guard. Taken. Liam Neeson? I feel like he belongs on that list. I feel like he belongs on that list. Yes, except that the succeeding movies

to the first one, which was awesome, didn't live up. I agree. The first one's the only one. You know, it was a little what I call diehard syndrome. Diehard, he finds himself in this once-in-a-lifetime situation. and then he finds himself in it eight more times. I do agree.

It's like, oh my God, this weird thing that only happens once in a lifetime is happening again. Again and again. Maybe it's me. Like maybe he needs to just lock his family away because they're just getting kidnapped. They just literally get getting kidnapped. Exactly. But yeah, I love those movies. I love the taken movies.

I think they're so awesome. Elizabeth Salander, she's the girl with the dragon tattoo. Okay, yes. Put that on your list. Yes, okay. I've seen that. I've seen that. So good.

That is a really good name. So good. It's been a while since I've seen that. You can watch the original Swedish. It's three movies in Sweden. Really? I didn't know that. They're all good.

But David Fincher here in America, I gotta say. You gotta stick up for the Americans. He actually made it better. He made an American movie of all three and made the definitive version, I think. And the Rooney Mera performance as Elizabeth Salander is just, you know, A notch above, brilliant. And she's the baddest bitch, I think, ever. Lioness is close.

I need to add it. Oh, yeah. Look, you're getting such a good list of movies. I'm so glad. You're never going to get late. You're going to be home watching movies all the time. For real. For real.

Listen, I used to grow up watching films with my mom. That's the one thing she liked doing is she would hang out with me, and she would essentially force me to sit down and watch films with her. And I remember, like, oh, I don't feel like watching a movie. No, she would make me sit down and watch it because she's like, you need to be cultured. And there was eventually, this is my mom. Your mom?

And then there was one point eventually. She wasn't always on drugs. No, she wasn't always on drugs. This was after they got out of rehab. They were trying to like make a reconnect with us. And I love my parents. And they were like trying to reconnect with us. So I think she was like trying to force me to watch movies with her

so I could spend time with her. But I'm like, I just, you know, I don't really feel like it. And she would literally force me to watch movies with her. Like what movies did you remember seeing in that way? I remember like the one that I really remember was the help. I'm glad she made me watch it. That's a great movie. Great movie.

But like, I just really remember. A seven. Shit in the pie. Shit in the pie. Yep, shit in the pie. She made me watch seven. Head in the box. Like, there was just a lot of movies.

She made me sit down and watch it. And like, now I can't sit still and watch a movie. And I don't know if it's because of that or if because, like, I developed a syndrome. Did she ever make you watch a movie that wasn't so disturbing? I know, right? Those two are crazy. Like, it's just, I don't know. I'm trying to think of other movies.

I genuinely blocked it. Like, I just watched the notebook for the first time the other day. I mean, it's... That's a great movie. It is a great movie. You can't front. I mean, it's one of those cultural... Mm-hmm.

Like, see, now I wish I sat down and watched movies with my mom because I didn't. And now I'm not cultured. Like, I wish I did that. Well, first of all, you're not supposed to be cultured at 21. Well, I want to be cultured at 21. You're way ahead of the game as it. Well, thank you.

Not that you should slow down. You keep going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't get complacent. But, you know, nobody's culture to 21. So, and nobody's rich. So you're way ahead of the game. I wouldn't like beat yourself up about anything.

Thank you. I feel like I find myself doing that a lot. And I need to cut myself a little more slack, you know? It's been a lifelong struggle with me. There's a bad side to it, which is, yes, you can be too hard on yourself. There's a good side to it, which is like, yeah, it all the way. like, yeah, it also makes you better. And it makes you a winner.

That's what I tell myself. It does. That's what I tell myself. It does. Unfortunately, I can't sit here and lie. It does. You know, it does. It makes you a winner if you're never satisfied

with yourself. Yeah, I pride my work ethic because of that reason. Yeah. And you will find in your life, I'm sure you'll be the girl boss very soon of, I mean, with this kind of money, you already have to boss some people around, like the people who manage your money.

I hate it. I hate it so. I don't like telling people what to do. I'm really bad right now. Just do it nicely. I'm learning how to say no. Yeah, well, you should. I'm finally learning how to say no. I can't say no to people.

That's something. That's my biggest fault. Like, I cannot say no. Well, you're a virgin. Plainly you can't. That is true. That is true. Well, like, that's the thing.

Like, I need to show you a picture of me growing up. Like, I look completely different than I look now. I was probably 150 pounds more heavier. What? Yes. That's fat. I was fat in middle school. I was big.

150 pounds? That's another whole you. Yeah, I know. That's obese. That's not just fat. I was big. Okay, maybe not 150. Maybe like one, $195, one.

But I was big. And I remember like, I would look down in the shower and I couldn't see my feet anymore. And I was like, yeah, I can't do this anymore. What was I thinking? What were you thinking? Apparently only about food. Fairly only about food. Well.

And I love food. I love it. Who doesn't? If I could have any superpower, it would be to eat without gaining any, like, weight or calories. Yeah, you and the rest of the world. Well, like, if you could have any superpower, what would you pick? You wouldn't pick that. Not that.

Exactly. What would you pick? Great question, Phanos. My heroes, you got to watch the Jason Bourne movies. You got to watch the Equalizer movies. There's nobody who really compares to Denzel Washington when it comes to being. that kind of a bad-ass... I do love Denzel Washington.

Oh, my God. I love that guy. He's the Equalizer, which was a TV show, you know, back in the day. It's just about a guy who equalizes things when somebody who has a terrible, terrible time in life needs some sort of a hero, some sort of a patron. And he takes on these cases. He's literally an Uber driver, but he has incredible skills from being in the service. You know, he can, like, there's always three or four scenes in the movies. where, you know, four or five, he always can take out four or five people at once.

Of course. And usually they're some sort of punks. Those are my favorite kind of movies. And you can't wait until he does it to them. You just cannot wait. Yes. And, but he just does it. I mean, everybody does that, John Wick and everybody else,

and I'm sure they're all good movies, but nobody does it like him. And nobody does it. This character just has such humanity. And also what I love about it, I must say, it's, black director, black star, non-racial. Like there's no real, like he will help a white person as well as a black person. You know, it's not like, well, white people are bad. Right, right.

He just sees people. I love that. I love that. I think it's deliberate. I think they know what they're doing. And this is the equalizer? Yeah, there's three of them. Okay.

I mean, I've seen billboards. I have seen billboards about the equalizer before. I spend my time here in LA. Yeah. I don't know if they're working on a fourth one. I mean, the director, Antoine Fuqua, he and Denzel did Training Day together. Did you ever see that one? I haven't seen it.

You will love that one, too. You're such a lucky girl because you're so young that all these movies are available to you to see for the first time. I know. There's so many movies. So they could provide some joy for me because they're so good, but not as much as the first time. Yes. You get to see them. see Training Day for the first time.

Okay, I'm going to add that to my list. Oh, yeah. There's so many movies that I'm excited to watch for the first time because I hear so many people tell me that. One movie that I'm really excited to sit down and watch is Interstellar. I've never seen Interstellar. Is that the one where Matthew McConaughey is a scientist? Yes, and he goes to space and time travels really fast,

and I know his daughter gets old and he travels back and his daughter's old all of a sudden. That's all I know about it. I think he's a great actor. But apparently that's really good. I don't remember that one as well. well and those ones where we're like going through the wormhole. See, but I like stuff like, I love space. I like space movies too.

I love space movies. But I don't know about the wormhole. I don't know. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. Well, see, the problem with those kinds of movies is like, you know, we're always trying to get to a new place. Because we fucked up the earth, whatever.

But the problem is that like the next nearest place where we could actually maybe, We don't even know, but maybe survive because we're humans and we need air and shit. Air and shit. It takes like 90 years. Yeah. So you have to like put people in a state of suspended animation. Yeah. So that 90 years from now.

Cryosleep. Yes, cryosleep. Exactly. I've seen the movies. Yeah. I mean, there's one called Passengers. I've seen it multiple times. Oh, you like that one.

I do like passengers with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence. I want to meet Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, my God. I love her. Really? She's so awesome. I love her so much. But yeah, I love that movie.

I think that's a great movie. She's a great actress. Would you go to space if you had the opportunity? Fuck no. Oh, you don't? Why? I don't go east of La Brea. Really?

Yeah, I mean... No, I'm kidding. But I'm... You know, Sophie, every decade of your life, you have a different set of priorities and things that are important to you, and very often friends and jobs. Like, at this point, you know, and you know, and you know, and you know, and you know, and you know, and you And you'll see, it's about like comfort and acceptance. And I just would not be comfortable in space. I want to be comfortable.

I totally agree. I just want to feel good every day. Every day has to be a good day. What do you do to make yourself feel good every day? I mean, my life is good. I'm lucky. I love my job. I have the best job in the world.

And then I have this side job, which I love to. I'm loving this. I love that I get to once a week talk to people who either I, don't know at all like you or somebody who maybe I know very well and then that's fun or who I sort of know and now we're really getting to know each other you know I love that this whole concept of doing a podcast like this that is not an interview it's just talking to somebody I think it worked out great it's I think it's very unique in the podcasting world I think they're all just interviews and so I love that and everything else is fine

You know, the worst thing about 70 is you're dead sooner. Well, it's just true. It's just the truth. I know, but it's just so funny. Yeah, that thing. Or not. But AI could reverse that. You think?

That is very possible in this. Yes, that is very possible. It's kind of scary to think about it. I don't like thinking about AI. As long as I'm still like exactly where I'm doing what I used to do. my whole life, I'm good. But yeah, that is the downside, is that you're, like I said at the beginning, you're on a shorter leash with your health.

Of course, what you find out is that you never really needed the drugs to begin with. Not in that volume. Yeah, I feel like a lot of people have that same experience. A lot. A lot of people, yeah. It's a shame because you do it because your body can take it. Yeah, and then you just think you can keep going because you're so young, and you're like, fuck it.

I was the world. I had Hunter Biden on my show last week. and he said, I mean, I didn't bring this up with him. But I read in his... But he was really hooked on drugs, right? Oh, very much so. And he had very honest about it. Okay.

Been sober seven years. Amazing. But yes, I mean, that's where... That's why we have videos of him fucking hookers with a crack pipe in his mouth. He owns it all. That exists? Oh, yeah, a very big story.

That was a very big story. I see, I don't get it. I try not to get into the politics. I got pulled into politics and I hate it. You should be aware of what's going on without being pulled in. And see, that's what happened. I was trying to become a little aware. I live in Florida.

I was like, you know, voting's coming up. Let me see what my options are. Right. And then I see Fishback calling me out. I'm like, why do I even try it? Is that right? He did? Yes, he did.

That guy Fishback called you out? James Fishback. He called me out. And he is running for Senator? He lost the primary. He lost the primary. He did. Just lose the primary.

He had 10%. It's funny because on my show Friday, is Byron Donald's. Oh, really? Who is probably going to be your next governor. You think? Well, he's- It's him and Jay Collins right now.

No, it's him again, no, he won the primary. Yes, yes, yes. He's running against a Democrat named David Jolly. That's his name, yep. Who was a Republican up until very recently. He just switched parties because he says the Republicans are too extreme, and he's correct. I like David.

He used to be on my show also. But Byron is on, and we're going to get into Florida politics. And it is an interesting situation you got there in Florida. Because Florida is like, it's the whole country in microcosm. It's everything. You got your Jews down in Miami. You got your Cubans. You got your rednecks.

And you got the middle of the state where you are, which is like a perfect, like, middle. This is the middle of the country that are they really extreme republicans? No, are they extreme? No, they're just Tampa. Mm-hmm, literally. I played Tampa a million times. I love Tampa. Really?

Great strip clubs. I'm glad. Have you ever been to the penthouse? Is that the strip club? That's a strip club that they have like the number one rated best stakes. Okay, well, in my own defense, I've never had food at a strip club. No, no, no. It's like a strip club in the restaurant.

I know. They all are, but I'd like some credit for that I never ordered food in a strip club. I only have heard things. Let me clarify also. I'm sure I've been there. I don't remember the names. I call every strip club the Platinum Lady. The Platinum Lady, okay.

Was I at the Platinum Lady in Tampa? I bet I was. Yeah, I bet you you were. I bet you were. And I don't apologize for it. That's just the best strip club in Tampa, unfortunately. Well, you know, I was on the road for all those years. What are you going to do after this show?

Like, I'm not going to go to a bar. I'm not going to go to a club. I don't want to eat because that's bad on the road, leading late. It's a place that is quiet, not quiet, but not so loud like a club. No one can hear anybody talk in a club. You're definitely going to wind up with hearing loss if you spend a lot of time in a club. I will say clubs are not my favorite, but I love going to a strip club. There we go.

I actually love going to a strip club. Let's put it on the agenda. And I don't go anywhere. I don't go there for anything freaky. I just like love watching. Strip clubs have become the new after-hours clubs. Yes, they have. That's what it is.

And people have not caught on some people to that. It's just a place where the temperature for bullshit is lower. Possibly because the women are naked already. That is true. It might have something to do with it. That is true. But that's not even the most of it. And you can make of it what you want.

If you go in thinking, oh, I'm going to get a hand job in the champagne room, you're an idiot. I mean, maybe you will, but why you would want to, I have no idea. Or even go in the champagne room. But, like, Ken, it's funny. Strip clubs are both the place that are the most full of shit in a way, but also can be the most honest. I mean, the most full of shit in that, like,

most of the guys in there are pathetic, and the girls are just trying to separate them from their money, and it's not that hard to do. Not hard at all. But because it has this sort of different vibe, it's kind of like when you go to the gay club. It's just a different vibe. It's just more honest.

I agree. I agree. See, I like to talk to the strippers. I'm like, like, what got you here? I want to know your life history. First of all, how's that different than Onlyfans or any other part of the masturbation economy? Most of this economy runs on making men masturbate.

It does. You're very true, very true. Is that, I mean, do you ever think about that? No, I think about it all the time. It's my job. It's literally my job. To make men masturbate. Yeah.

And you're part of an army. of workers. I've said this publicly, I'll say it again. When you scroll through Pornhub, which I do, I look on Pornhub, never anything weird. Yeah, just research purposes. Not research, masturbation purposes. Okay. But I'm not looking at anything weird. Again, I'm pretty vanilla. Okay, okay. I didn't even like it when the guy comes into the picture. I don't need to see a dick. Yeah. I'm the dick. There we go. The imagination. But hot girls, like acting sexy for the camera? Yeah. You buy that. It's just like Playboy magazine come to life. Exactly, exactly. Okay, but if you scroll, it is literally never ending the amount you could see a different girl

in endless numbers of videos. This tells me that there is just an incredible amount of women in this country who make their living, like, make their looking. I mean, they're licking something. Make their living in some way making men masturbate. It's just a crazy, fucked up society we live in. I mean, who built that system, though? What do you mean? Like, who created that system? I feel like it wouldn't be there if there wasn't someone buying the product.

Well, it's a good question, but I don't think you can lay it at the doorstep of one person or one type of person. Agreed. I would say, I would one group. of people I would criticize is the people who have been in charge or have contributed to our educational system because you plainly have created an entire generation of women who if they didn't go to college could only make their living sucking dick on the internet or pretending to or in some way getting sperm to come out of richer men's penises while baby cried in the other room.

Shit. Shit. Laying it out on them. Fuck. Not the baby. Not the baby crying in the other room. Well, see, you don't have that. Yeah, and I don't ever want that.

But that... That's a reality. Don't tell me that doesn't go on. Oh, it's a reality for sure. For sure. Now, I wouldn't even know how to get on, OnlyFans. That's how technologically sophisticated I am. It took me a while to figure out, honestly.

But I really, and as much as I've heard about it, I still really don't know what it is, except that I know, I don't know a lot. Let me explain. Thank you. Please let me explain. Oh, thank you so much. I would love to.

You're awesome, by the way. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, thank you for being that, because, like, really, it's so easy for me sit here as I often do with, you know, some guy who's around my age. We have the same sensibilities and the same background. We know the same things. We live through the same things. That's easy. This is always a little harder, not with you. Thank you. I hope you take that as a

compliment. I mean it that way, very, very sincerely. I do, actually. Thank you. I really appreciate that. Well, OnlyFans, I'm obviously on the site, so I know it very well. It is a subscription-based platform. So you can go on there and you can sell anything, essentially. You full autonomy over it, you make an account. I had to put my ID in, put my bank information in, my Social Security, everything, and boom, I had an only fan's account. You can do anything. I know people who sell their workout plans. I know people who sell their recipes for their cook, you know, their cake that they made. It's really anything. Obviously, porn has taken it over. Right. But it was originally made to be a place where gym bros can, like, sell their workout plans

to other people. So content creators and the content can be anything. Exactly. Exactly. But a lot of it is making men masturbate. A lot of it. Unfortunately, pornography has flooded Onlyfans. As it did every... Whenever there's a new technology, the first thing they do is figure out how to use it to...

No, actually. Actually, that is very true. That is very true. But yeah, you can do anything on Onlyfans. You can... It's not... It's basically the pornography side now. But I'm trying to change that.

But everybody on it doesn't do the same level. of pornography. Exactly. I had Shannon Elizabeth here recently. Delightful. You familiar with Shannon? I do, yes. She was in American Pie movies and, you know, an icon and still a beautiful woman and obviously

has a lot of fans. And so she does it, but I couldn't really get a straight answer about what exactly. She seemed to, like, you know, want to be very cagey about like, like, I. I guess this is because, like, you have millions of men that can't all be thinking that they're directly communicating with you. Can they? Let's dissect this. Let's dissect this. That's what I wanted.

Thank you. Let's dissect this. So, obviously, when you join, there's someone's account. I have my account. And it is, I think it's a base $4.99 to subscribe to even look at my profile. So people pay $4.99 a month to join my fans, my only fan. you know. Price of a latte. A price of a latte.

Whatever. It's a latte a month, you know? But then this is where you get looped in. So there's things called PVVs, pay-per-view. And you know about pay-per-view. I know it's what I want to watch a boxing match. That's what I think of paper-bue. Well, it's also on Onlyfans now. Okay.

And essentially like... Same company? Same thing? No, no, no. Oh, they just use the same term. Same term. PPV is what it's called pay-per-view. I'll make a new content set. I'll take photos and this new set that I bought and everything,

and I'll post it and I'll be like, hey, if you want to see this, it's this much money. And then that's where men will be like, okay, I want to see this set that she's describing because I'll put like a little thing. Obviously, I'll do like a little tease and everything. And if you want to see the full thing, you buy it. What goes on in the tease?

Just you... I'm mostly, I'm in a bikini. And I'll just, I'll do like a strip tease, essentially. Taking off the bikini. Yeah, so it's a video, and I'll post these videos for, and I do, like, custom, so I'll talk to these people. So they see the whole Golden Horde? I wouldn't say the whole thing. I never, I have never fully got naked on camera.

Oh. I've not ever fully got naked. I've done, like, a little nip slip here and there, you know, but I've never fully got naked. I won't ever do that. That's a boundary I won't ever cross. Oh, so not even full frontal looted? Just nip slip? Yeah, just like a nip slip.

Oh, so not even the full... No, I've never done that, and I won't. I don't ever plan on it. doing that. That's just something that I'm not comfortable with. And that's why I love OnlyFans is because you have full autonomy. You can do whatever you want and people will still talk to you. Like, it's a great thing because I think there's a lot of lonely men in America and they're just trying to look for a relationship and that's where they go as OnlyFans. And that's what I do. I talk to them. And I do talk to them. I spend hours on the site and I also have people around me that do help me.

I can't lie. I do have people that help. Plainly, not two millions of them. This is on the level of Santa Claus can visit every house on Christmas night. You think? There was a time in my life when I believed that, and then there was a time I think I was seven, when it struck me that how could even Santa Claus with all his skills and all his elves and the reindeer?

Just in my town. I mean, considering each visit going down the chimney, takes a while. Coming up the chimney. Putting the presents down under the... You know the truth? Let's say at best a two and a half minute plainly Santa Claus can't be in all these houses. You see my analogy?

I do, I do, yeah, I do. And they don't know that? I mean, I feel like they do. I feel like they do. But you're talking to a select few? I'm talking to many. I'm talking to many. But I have people.

But not millions. Not millions. Well, I only have like. I only have... How do they get chosen? Do they pay the most? I can't lie and say no, but yeah, if you pay more, I'm obviously going to talk to you more. Do other people see you talking to these other people?

No, it's all like... It's all personal. It's all personal. So it's all personal. What are the people who don't see you personally at all? What do they get? What do they see? I mean, honestly, they see the whole same thing.

So I have my page. And then I'll post on my, like, feed, kind of like an Instagram. You know, like I'll post pictures on there, and everyone can see that. I'm not on that either. Okay. Well, you know what it is. Instagram is. I do know what it is. Okay, okay, you know what it is. I mean, I'm on it. I'm not personally really on it. Right. But it's kind of like, it's kind of like that where like if someone follows you,

you see everything kind of sort of thing, but you have to pay $4.99 a month to be able to see that. Everything, but not the thing you're doing to the person that's personal. Well, so not everything, right? Not everything. They're not voyeuristically seeing you. Yeah, so if you want to see that, you have to start conversating with me and then sometimes I'll send out mass messages. Everyone will get it. A typical day, how many people would you say you actually talk to directly? I probably actually talk to around 100 people. A hundred. A hundred.

Okay. So the other millions, they don't see that. Yeah. Right? They don't. No. That's the champagne room. That's the champagne room.

I like that. I like that. Now we're in the champagne room. That's the champagne room. But most of the times I do have people helping me. It's literally impossible for me to answer everyone. I don't have too many people on my own. I have around, I have over 20 million followers on my social medias, but I probably have like

one 18th of that in my only fans, you know, and those are the people like I can actually get close to communicate with. And I have a lot of people that have been with me the entire time. Those are my main, my main, like, money sword. Call them regulars in a script. We call them regulars. Exactly. Those are my regulars. Listen, I used to be a waitress. I had regulars. I love my regulars. And those are the people that I genuinely connect with. And, like, obviously, I'm open to more people. But, like, some people are just there to be, like, let me see this.

And then I'll never see them again. The hundred you talk to a day, is it the same hundred the next day? Most of the time. Most of the time. It's reoccurring. And then sometimes there'll be, like, a new person that I'm starting to talk to,

and then I'll find out. And talk to, is it, like, directly? Is it, like, just like a Zoom? It's on only fans. All text. It's all text. So there's no seeing you actually talk. Well, I've talked to a couple people because that's extra.

But you can do that. So it's just like a Zoom or like a FaceTime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's not even, that's like a smaller percentage of the 100. Exactly. How many is that, you think? Oh, I think I've only ever in my entire career have probably talked to five to ten people on video. Just because a lot of people, they scare me, honestly.

They scare me. And I'm worried because most of the time people are there ill will. And I've had a lot of people that I've had to block. I had to restrict because they're trying to like, they're just being nasty to me. Really? I've had a lot of issues with stalkers. I've had a lot of issues with that.

That's why I need to get security. We're working on that. But I've had a lot of issues. Nasty to you. They're your fans who joined up, but they still want to be nasty to you? Yes, because that's all they think of me up. It's like just another whore to like jerk off to. But they still want to masturbate over you.

Yeah. Like, make it make sense. Make it make sense. But there's a lot of people, there's a lot of great people that I've met on Only fans. Make it make sense. Make it make sense. There's a lot of great people I've met on Only fans and that I do connect with. But it is impossible for me to talk to everyone.

I have help. And I have help that's very close to me that knows me personally. So it's kind of like you're talking to me still, you know? That's a great title, by the way, if you ever, and you probably will be asked to do a book or something. I have been asked. Call it, make it make sense. Make it makes sense. It's a great title.

Thank you. You know what? Thank you. I might steal it myself. No. No. You wouldn't even know it was if I didn't say it. Well, you told me.

Whoever gets to it first. All right, we'll see. We'll see. But it is a great title. I appreciate it. Make it make sense. Make it makes sense. It would work.

Because that's one of the hardest things to do is come up with titles for books or anything. Titles are tough. Okay, so these five or ten, these select few. Oh my God, it's like the Mormon council of elders. Like, what was it about them that made you trust them enough to Zoom with them? Just being nice. Like, actually. And none of them ever disappointed you and was a snake in the grass?

Mm-hmm. So far, so far. So far. Because it's levels to even get to that point, you know. It's levels to even get to the point to even video call me. Can I ask an indelicate question? Of course. Okay.

I'm open to anything. Do you either these five or ten, select or the hundred, do you know when you're talking to them if they're ever doing something? Yeah. I do know because sometimes they're very vocal

about it. Excuse me. No, it's all good. We have a reel of spit takes, really, from this show. That's how much fun this show is. We have a whole reel of spit takes. That's going to be on.

there. So you do know. Yeah. And it doesn't bother. They like to. They love to share it. They do. They do.

So that's not a taboo. No, not at all. Really? Not at all. I don't think so, at least. It doesn't bother you. That's what I'm there for. I'm providing a service.

Exactly. And a noble service. Yes, very. You know, I mean. That's how I like to think of it. Thank you. No, really. I mean, yes, men are bad.

true they proved it I'm not even gonna fight it very well so I mean I'm a dog and happy I love that and that's okay that's all that matter you know I know who I am and everybody knows it and my life knows who I am and that's okay I'm a good dog but you also we don't know what it's like to be you and it's to be you women in general is to be very vulnerable it is that's why you need security you're you're shorter you're smaller you're no And this is one reason why, like, all the bullshit about, you know, like women, men and women sports is so deleterious for society because it puts the idea in people's heads that, oh, women are just, no, they're not. They need more protection.

They just do. They can be overpowered a lot easier than men can in general. Yes, there's a Rhonda Rousey who can beat this with anybody. That's not the typical woman. Exactly. How tall are you? I am 5'5. Right, okay, so 5-5.

You know, I mean, it's just like even I am tower over you. Yes. It's just not a fair thing. So they need protection. Agreed. I totally agree. Yeah, they just do. It's not equivalent, and we should be mindful of that.

I mean, women are very vulnerable, and we should know that. But you don't know us either. And if you, for one day, had to live with the kind of testosterone that's coursing through our bodies, from like 15 to, I mean, in my case, way too late in life. But certainly into 30s, 40s, you know, I mean, imagine having to masturbate like four or five times every day. Is that like that's true? Like that's something people do? It was true in my life.

I mean, I think there are people who do it more. Yeah, it's worse nowadays. There was a famous sex study. that was done and sex researcher and you know very serious stuff and you know he he examined all the parameters of how horny people are there was one guy for example who could come in 10 second he could make himself come in 10 seconds actually i mean i'm going by some movie it was in so maybe but yes i think that's true god like he could just go from zero to like how do you get that amped up that quick.

Well, that's what I'm saying about men. We're pretty amped up. Already. It's just why are we so violent? Why are we so horny? Why is there so much rape? Why is there so much sexism still left in the world? Yes, the United States, not over it.

But the United States has conquered it so much better than the rest of the fucking world. I do agree on that. The rest of the fucking world is way behind. We are much more. So, yes, there are Andrew Tate morons in this country, but you're much more likely to find some pussy-wipped guy in a loveless marriage. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of scary outside of America. There's a lot of scary. There's a lot of scary.

And most of the scary is against women. You know, women are still, like, really vulnerable. They're vulnerable, they're vulnerable everywhere. You know, I mean. And it's sad. It is. It's just sad. We need equality everywhere.

Well, there was a time, even in this country, where it was very socially acceptable to hit a woman. Yes, there was a time. You are right. Ralph Cramden's, that was the honeymooners, a sitcom in the 50s, his catchphrase was, To the moon. He would ball up his fist and literally threatened to punch his wife in the face. And that was a sitcom. Oh.

That was his catchphrase. To the moon. Alice. Wow. If you annoy me again, I'm going to punch you in the face. Oh my gosh. And nobody thought that was wrong. No one blinked a night.

Nobody. Yeah. So once men lost that, as of course they should, they never really learned how to replace it with arguing. And what they replaced it with was just being a pussy. Yeah. Yeah, this is true. This is true.

You know, and so women who do know how to argue, because that's all they ever had, was the verbal part. They couldn't win the argument physically. They had a tremendous advantage. And now men just sort of like, I mean, a lot of them just really are just so pusified. And that's not sexy to women either. I totally agree. Women do not want a pusified guy. Like men used to go to war. They still do. They still do. But like, like, a lot of men used to go to war. Now they, like, I couldn't imagine. Women do too. The people I've talked to now going to war. like it's just the men the men aren't men like they used to be you know no that's uh always been my secret with women other men other men okay let me let me be as old school as i actually want

to be yeah because that's like that's what's like not out there it's it is i mean really i hear it all the time it's amazing how frustrated they are that men are either fucking rapists or pussies. Like no in between. Like no ability to like, you know, be a man in all the ways that is good

without any of the stupid ways where it's bad. They don't get that because they never, they don't have good role models. None. You know? I can't think of any. And the ones that they did have, you know, got taken down by the woke. You know, like James Bond, bad.

Yeah. James Bond isn't bad. I love, I love. James Bond is fucking cool. Yes, fucking cool. I mean, there was a formula in James Bond movies for decades. He always fucked three hot chicks. Love that. He was...

Love that. He was not married. He's a spy. Yep. You know, and some of it was for England. You know, some of the bitches he was doing was just like in the cause of the... I mean, they were hot. Right.

He was fucked. It was part of the plot. You know, it would have been more... we listened to we fucked an ugly girl for England like anyone would fuck that chick he did it for England

for England that's why that's that's the it just happened to me someone named Pussy Galore oh that was that was an actual Bond character name really Pussy Galore you never heard that I haven't actually yeah I need to

in one of the Bond movies I need to watch that which one do you know Goldfinger I think Oh, Goldfinger. I mean, honestly, those early Bond movies, they're good, but they're from such a different era that they might strike you as slow. Okay, okay. I feel like it's a moment, though, you know? If you want to watch a Bond movie, watch the first Daniel Craig.

Daniel Craig, okay. Daniel Craig was like the seventh James Bond. I got a lot of homework to do when I get home. So many great movies. Yes. Watch Casino Royale. Casino Royal. Who's in that? Well, it's the first time Daniel Craig played Bond.

Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Okay, okay. They had him doing it until he was too old. I love him. But the last one was like, come on. I retired now. You're good. Well. You know, and then, I mean, he's such a pussy in this one. He literally takes his girlfriend and her kid on his mission to save the world. He practically stops off at Target to buy tampons

on his way to the underground layer. Like, no one's actually doing that. Well, no one's actually doing what James Bond is doing anyway. Well, you never know. I feel like you never know. There could be someone out there. CIA? You know, again, this is like your version of Marvel.

Yeah. You know, I like James Bond. Yeah. I mean, I like Jason Bourne better because it's more realistic, and I like Robert McCall even better. but that is to me that's a

but I love all the James Bond movies but he does and also like Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt have you watched any of the Mission Impossible movies none of them I haven't seen a single one of them never saw Mission Impossible No but I've heard that they're really good

they're good watch you know start with the first one first one is great I'll have to do that you know it's a little like the Twilight movies they get a little more ridiculous as they go on. Of course. Do you like Twy? Do you like Twy?

I have seen the Twilight movies. Okay, Twilight One is awesome. Yes, I agree. They should have stopped at like two, though. It got ridiculous. They all do. It's called Jumping the Shark. It's called Jumping the Shark.

You just go too far with the premise and there's nothing left. But the first Twilight is great. Yes, I agree. The idea that, like, teenagers are kind of like vampires, you feel like an outsider. You don't feel like anybody understands you.

Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob? I want to know. The Vampire. It's a vampire movie. Of course I'm Team Edward. It's a vampire movie. It's not a fucking werewolf movie. Weirwolf is a fucking day player.

Well, they should have made a spinoff of a werewolf movie. Because I think I'm Team Jacob. I'm Team Jacob. I love you. Yeah. Why? Because you like the actor? Yeah.

It's more your type. Well, not only that. Like, I just think it would be cool to be able to turn into a wolf and just run around. Does that make me a furry? Yeah. No, but don't you think Robert Pattinson as that guy was sexier? I mean, then the werewolf. I mean, he's a great-looking guy.

I see it. Yes. Robert Pattinson has something. If you're looking for the life mate, I would go with that. I would go with Edward. Because I just feel like there's something deeper there. There's something sexier on a level that is beyond just the physical. I know, but it's so cool to be able to turn into a wolf and run around on all floors, right?

There's just something so exciting about that. I've done it. Oh, okay. Have you never, like, got on the floor with your dogs and ran around like them? Is that just me? I have two little doxins. So it's kind of hard for me to get down on their level. I literally have to, like, crawl.

I've literally played... I've played football with my dogs. Football? Yeah, like, I'll put a little... There's a little football with a squeaky toy in it. I'll put it down there, and I'll get down, like, I'm a lineman, and he'll be on the other side, like, he's a lineman. And it's funny, though, they'll wait until I...

Oh, my God. And when I move, they move, and then, you know... I need to try this with my dog. I don't know why I haven't done that. Listen, my dog, he loves to play fetch. Loves to play fetch. And I have, like, those, I don't remember what they're called, but they have, like, holes in them.

And one time my dog's jaw got stuck in the hole of the ball, and I could not rip it off. I had to take him to the emergency room, and they had to cut it off. So I'm always, like, scared to play with them now because that literally traumatized me. Because, like, he was, like, seizing because he couldn't breathe because the ball was, like, so big.

Well, I mean, don't like kids. I know. They're going to kill themselves over anything. A certain number of them. People used to accept this. It's one of those like hard facts that no one wants to hear. And so we went way too far the other way. I think we way coddle and overprotect our children.

Children are not feral as I was when I was a kid. Children are not what they used to call free range. They don't, I mean, I mean, and some places they're way too free range. Parents are fucking absentee and kids are doing whatever the fuck they want. Do you ever see the Florida Project? I did actually. I've seen the Ford Project. That's a great one.

I do like the Ford Project. Such a great one. About Florida. Yes, about Florida. And about a single mother. Yes. I really like stand by me. I feel like in standby me,

like they just let the kids do whatever they want. Like, how are these kids traveling to a railroad track? They did it up through the 70s. Gen X is the last generation that had that experience. I think that needs to be instilled again. It totally does. That's how you find out who you are as a person. And the trade-off is that some will die.

You just have to accept that. Yes. That's how mature people used to understand the human race. You cannot eliminate all death. You can't have both. I mean, in the Florida Project, which I think is just a brilliant movie. Yes, I love that. It's so great because this mother is anything but a model mom.

I mean, she's literally doing tricks while the kid is in the bathroom. Yeah. living in a motel. And she gets her food from the back door at the McDonald's where the friend works. But the kid loves Mommy. And Mommy is like a friend to the kid and they have a lot of fun. But the kid also goes and crosses the highway on her own. Things that, of course, make child services show up and take the kid away.

But does the kid want to leave Mommy? No. No. Kid loves Mommy and is having a great time with Mommy. And yes, she could get killed. But is it better to traumatize that kid and take her away? And that's what the question the movie leaves the audience with, which is why it's a great movie,

because it leaves you with a real question. Yes. And I would... It's hard. I'm on the side of mommy. Yeah. I mean, I'm on the side of the kid. The kid is like, the kid runs away.

It's like... I know. I didn't really understand the end of the movie. Like, I thought that she died at the end. No. The end of the movie is, you may not get me to live with Mommy anymore, but I'm not going to you. Yeah. To the social service. Yeah, she just runs away to Disney. I'll find my way back to Mommy where it's fun.

Maybe too much fun. But, I mean, it's... It's not like the mom doesn't love the kid. Exactly. Exactly. She just is too much of a kid herself. Probably this problem your parents had. Any parents who are still doing drugs... And I came out fine.

You came out awesome. I feel like I came out okay. Funny, I've noticed this over the course of my life with young people. It's so interesting, when they have fucked up backgrounds like you have, they either became not good, basket cases that fucked them up, or they became way more stable like you.

Thank you. Like it made you go in the opposite direction. And they're like the total opposite of the parents, not on drugs, not fucked up, level-headed, you know, two feet on the ground. Because I saw, like, what that did to my parents and I'm like. It makes you either go in one of the two directions. Yes, 100%.

Well, you went in the right direction. Thank you for spending your time with me. I had so much fun. Yeah, this was awesome. Please invite me again anytime. I will. Anytime. If you never need anything from real time with Belmar, you just tell me and watch those movies.

I have a lot of homework to do. I will be rooting for you. I'm going home tonight, so I know what I'm watching. and get a security person. Thank you, yes. I'm going to. Thank you so much, Bill. I appreciate it.

Okay. This was so fun. So fun. So fun. So fun. Some funner show the fucking club random. I agree. This is the best thing.

I've had such a good time. Well, tell your friends, because like so many people are afraid of me. Why is that? Because they're fucking stupid. They're not balzy like you. They're not honest like you. They're not honest like you.