Club Random with Bill Maher - Woody Harrelson | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

Bill Maher and Woody Harrelson riff on Bill’s fear of boats, Woody's appeal as a redneck hippie, whether Bill would give up his phone to stop global warming, The Offer TV show and the guys’ dueling Brando impressions, Woody on his work with Kevin Hart, the one accent in a movie that Woody deeply regrets, Bill’s favorite city in America, and whether art can change the world.  

Climb. Hey, I want to tell you about our new subscription channel on Apple. You can listen, add free to all episodes past and present. Get access to most episodes a week early and hear exclusive bonus content that you can only get here. Go to Apple.com slash club random to try it free now. Just click the try it free button now to check it out. All I can say is this should take care of the first half hours.

No, these are clove cigarettes. Woody, I don't know if you know, but what they're doing with clove cigarettes. Ah, they close my favor. Unbelievable. I don't know what they've been putting. I've been, obviously, have made a big mistake all these years with marijuana because I would never smoke marijuana on a show like this, but these clove cigarettes, they must have developed something in the lab.

I hope it wasn't that Wuhan place where there's so much trouble coming out of. But, you're glad you brought the clove because I know you're getting more. Did you know that? I mean, how many times have I heard this? No, I don't smoke any less. You gotta let me find this.

No, I actually did quit, man. You quit many times? Well, I haven't had any since noon. I swear together. And that's not a, let's, yeah, I quit. I quit quitting, I am. And that, no, but you know what, a lot of jokes to be made on and off is not a bad way to do that's true

Because I did quit for a good while. Do you think I mean now We're gonna smoke this close cigarette which goes into our lungs Look, we're both in our late 30s now. Do you think? Do you think there's any chance that we're hurting ourselves? Because I know we're both people who are very interested in health. You look amazing by the, you look fantastic. I don't know what you're saying. Thanks for saying that.

I saw you with one of your boyfriend's probably with McConaughey or something like that. Where the paparazzi and... You were on a yacht or something. Yeah, yeah. That was... You were doing on a yacht or something? Yeah, yeah. That was a... You were doing on a yacht, man, and the people. Well, I try to help people spread their footprint out, lighter footprint, I try to do that for you.

On a yacht, man. It's gonna be a heavier footprint than less time then, isn't it lightens it by, you know, one person, anyway. But what was the yacht deal? I didn't get it, but. It was for Gio Ciri. Got a yacht for his 50th birthday.

Holy moly. Right, I don't know, what's that? Oh. What the hell was that? And that's our show. Yeah. Oh jeez. Do you remember that joint that we had like,

there was this long and I have that, I showed it, the picture on the, we show it in our highlight reel every week where I show you that picture of you and I with that hysterical look on our face. I'm like, this is you when you're quitting and you're like, here's you when you're smoking. Yeah, no, it's true. During one of your many interregnums. Well, yeah, because I recently did quit. I quit for. Yeah. for four months or something.

That's my... That's smoke. That is very smirking. And people were like, and I wasn't drinking, and people were like, you know, you're not as fun. I'm like, geez, that's a, you know, and that's what your thing illustrated with that picture. You're not necessarily as much fun.

Why do you think we do it? To be less fun? To enjoy life less? Let's do drugs. It'll make life worse. Said no one ever. No, but why we do it? Because nothing you need kids.

I've said this a million times. You do not need drugs to have a good time. But why take chance? That's what I tell the kids. That's what I tell the kids. That's what I tell the kids. Let's hear Uncle Wood. And your Uncle Wood. No, you are the perfect like, you know,

role model, Uncle, straight. No, I don't. I mean, you are much more of a perfect role model. I mean, you're a great family man. No. You know, well, thank you. Well, it's true. I mean, I've always thought that the key,

you have such a wonderful marriage. The key must be being on location 250 days a year. I see. No, that's funny. You brought that up because someone asked the wifey poo, what do you think is the secret to y'all's long marriage, right? And she goes, well, we spend a lot of time part. I said, honey, first of all, I'm right here.

You couldn't have come with, I just love him in spite of his fault. Anything the other than we spend a lot of time, that had to be the number one on the, that's what every married couple says. Well, that is true. It does help. Because it's like magnets, you know, as attracted as they are, if they're together too much, too often too long, they fall apart. They do?

Magnets? Yeah, that's the attraction eventually ceases and then boom. Is that scientific fact that you're right? Well, I mean, that is a true thing that happens. I'm just asking, I know remember covering this in science class, but I'm just asking. So, magnets after a while, lose their attraction and fall apart. Yeah, eventually that does happen. Wow.

Anyways, just to acknowledge you. And what are the repercussions? I mean, where are magnets used, where I have to worry that they're about to fall apart? It's nothing that will affect my balls, is it? But when people say, you know, what makes a good marriage, you're overthinking it. You know what makes a good marriage? The two people in it are good people. That's true. That's what it is.

The ones I know that are good. Oh, he's great and she's true. Yeah, that's true. That's what it is. The ones I know that are good. Oh, he's great and she's great. So, and what's going to make a good marriage for you, Bill? I mean, what's your... I think that bus has sailed. I think that bus has sailed. I can't ever see you getting married. I just can't see it.

Well, no. And again, that ship has... You know, that's way out to see right now. But you could hang out with some gal, like, you know, just blow your mind. Well, just the fact that you say, hang out with some gal. Right. So there's that we're both too old to be beginning now.

You can't even keep doing the okay. To say gal. Oh, I think this is your nineteen thirty-two. Yeah, I think me and, uh, and Miller, I'm going to start an intensive fair. Oh, is that, that's tequila. What are you making? I was going to give you, do you want some of this?

Yes, I'm going to have it. What are you trying to fuck? I'm trying to scratch it. Wow, yeah. It's the evening. All right. You know, don't start right out with it. Okay, that's, that's funny. Oh, there's a lot of ice, a lot of ice. Let's see how he didn't even start right out with it.

Okay, that's a let's play. There's a lot of ice, that ice. So anyway, you're on the yacht with your boyfriend. You boyfriend? I said boyfriend. Okay, go ahead. Because, yeah, because you have many, I mean, you are the king of the bromance, I got to tell you that.

Do they get jealous of each other? There's a lot of men I love. I know, I know I am. I don't, I don't flatter myself to think. I'm first in line in your harem, but I know I have a special place in it, but did they ever get jealous of each other? That's the question I went.

Does McConney and Owen Wilson, does it kind of come to Owen Wilson, sadly murdered in his home today by a I write Matthew McConnie and a lover spat over? That is. No, but like everybody you ever work with winds up being your asshole lifelong buddy, right? Well, I've been to parties, like your, and it's like, everybody you ever who, it was Selma High, like Kayak is there, and then Farley Bruns,

it's like it's like an IMDB of your whole career is the party, because everybody you ever work with always wants to, like, stay pals with a good old Woody. Take the compliment. That's kind of you to say. It's true. Well, I don't know anybody else

like that in Joe Business, who everybody that ever worked with. I mean, every time I see you, I mean, who's coming over tonight? People you just work with, right? That's true. Yeah. That's all the way through.

So you were supposed to have dinner tonight, but then because we were doing this and I didn't want to stop hanging out with you because I did, they said, you know, just to hang out with you. I appreciate it. You know, a busy man, a very busy man. Are you having a terrible time?

I'm having a good time. We're then shutting up a baby. I'm not making it. I'm not making it. I'm not making it. Why are you doing it? It's just to be here. It's not me kicking it because, you know,

because I'm doing it, I'm glad to do it. Good, I'm glad you're here and I appreciate it. But, you know, I don't usually get a high and do an interview like that. Never happened. I would hardly call this an interview. Well, okay, it's a talk. It isn't me talking.

It's exactly what we would be doing if there was, you know, podcasts being made. So, all right, so you're on this yacht. I'm fascinated by this yacht. Well, you know, I'm not a yacht guy. I'm not a boat guy, but I try to roll with things. It's a guy of Siri, he invited me, very nice. This is a big manager, he's a Madonna's manager, is that?

Yeah, he has his own. He's got a lot of stuff going. He's the big party after the young. He's a brilliant, brilliant guy. Oh, great, great, middleman. I know he has the big party after the Oscars. Yeah. Everybody who can goes to that party,

which must tell me he's quite the macaque because if everybody who can on Oscar night goes to his party, yeah, that's quite a feather in your cap. I was there, but you didn't come. Wasn't invited. I wasn't on the yacht either. Which is, you know, you really, you have FOMO.

I never took you as a FOMO. Which is FOMO. You know, fear of missing out. I'm a serious FOMO. No, no, no. Would you like to get on a yacht? Have you ever had a direct question? I gave you a direct answer.

Okay, good. I would never get on a yacht. I hate fucking boats. They're just terrible to me. And why do you hate boats? And I would don't want to go out. Just what they symbolize? Because they're on water,

which is not my natural habitat. You know, like water. And it's something bad happens. So it's the water is the baseline. Well, if something bad happens to the boat, I have a much less chance of surviving on this particular type of terrain that's on earth. I'm so into land. So what are the odds that something happened?

On a boat? Yeah, give me the odds. Right, no boat ever sunk. You're right. I mean, you're driving in Los Angeles. I know, somebody is it worse than driving, or is the odds worse or more, more or less than driving in Los Angeles?

Oh, I think they're way worse on a boat. Yes, way worse. That can't be true, dude. Well, you know what, we don't know. We're talking about. Now, often, you hear of a boat going down. Meanwhile, you hear about people who are dying in car accidents, you know, every day. No, you don't. There's something like 35,000 car accidents deaths a year.

You don't know about any of them unless they make the news or something. And how many boat accidents? How many death by boat is what? Three? Plainly, neither. one of us knows what the answer is to either of these. Okay, I mean, what would say here? I know, I'm just saying. You know, maybe these guys in the background, I don't even know where the,

but maybe these guys in the background are just looking up that stuff right now. Maybe they'll just... It's not that kind of show. Like I said, it's exactly what we would be doing if we were to hear without cameras, which is not having the information we need to be having the argument we're having. Because we're just getting eye. But when somebody does this study, it will be interesting what the answer is. Because I think the chances of surviving on a boat are

way less, but maybe that is paranoia about water. So you're not a swimmer at all. You don't like to get... I can't swim, but I would rather walk because I'm so into land and I find it easier. And the breathing thing, I find it a big asset that I can breathe when I'm... What you can't do on water. No, not underwater. No. You wouldn't do the Wim Hof thing, would you? Wim Hof, such an interesting guy.

Love Wim Hof. You did? You want to tell him? You want to tell who Wim Hof is? Just fellow when he was a kid, twice he was found outside, had fallen asleep, and would have been died of hypothermia if he wasn't found.

He's Danish, right? He's, no, he's Dutch. From the Netherlands. Yeah, Dutch. And then when he's like, no, he's Dutch. From the Netherlands. Yeah, Dutch. And then when he's like, yeah, I can't remember all the details, but like he's like 11, 12, 13, he's out, it's in the winter. And he's looking at a lake, and I believe it's nighttime. And he says, I'm going in that lake.

And he goes in the fucking lake. Whoever would think that, who is going to think, you're not going to think that? I'm not going to go in the fucking lake. Whoever would think that. Who is gonna think, you're not gonna think that? I'm not gonna, it goes in the lake. And he stays for like a minute. When he's, and so he started doing this shit regularly until he could stay longer and longer in like several minutes. And you know, I don't know what he's up to now, but he's set every record.

And now every, and now every, because of this crazy guy, who everyone thought was just out of his mind when all this was happening, every sports team, every major sports team does it now. Oh, is that right? Cold clutch. Madonna does it, I spat, you know. Madonna does it after a concert for me.

Well, I mean, he climbed Mount Everest in shorts and visted a piece on him and they had the kids there who were like in their 20s, you know, who were on the story. And he challenged them to do what got him where he is with cold and they did it and they all found, oh yeah, he's right. And what it really is is just extreme breathing. Like the basic one is like three sets of 30 where you're taking it a lot of oxygen, right? Yeah, but that's just the basic. But that's basically what he's doing. Well, you do that and then you hold your breath for a minute and then you do another 30 deep breaths, hold your breath for a minute and a half. And then take one deep breath in and hold for 15 seconds. And then you do the cycle.

I did it this morning, it's phenomenal. Oh, really? It's amazing. And you're going into cold? No, I didn't do the cold, I did that breathing. No, but the breathing enables you then to withstand the cold. So have you done the cold part? Yeah, I've done the cold part. And is it easy to do if you do the breathing enables you then to withstand that. Yeah. So have you done the cold part? Yeah, I've done the cold part.

And is it easy to do if you do the breathing? It's not, no, it ain't easy to do. I'm fucking freezing, Bob. It's worth a little magnet nut, you know. Is that right? But I thought that was the whole point of it. Is that when the breathing has the desired effect on your body, then you won't feel the cold.

That's how he was able to climb out Everest in shorts. Well, I think that there's a guy like that can literally put it out of his mind. Same way David Blankin just hold his breath for 10 minutes and just put it out of his mind that he's in desperate need of a breath, you know. Yeah, they used to think that the time that you could go without breathing maximum was four minutes.

They said, more than that, and you will become mentally retarded from it. Yeah. And now the record is closer to 20. Hold it. Is that with oxygen? No, no. record is closer to 20. Hold it. Is that, is that the, with oxygen record or? No, just not breathing. For 20 minutes? Almost 20 minutes, I believe, yes.

I mean, there's these. Hold it. I think, because one's oxygen assisted and one is without, right? No, this is without. I thought it was more like nine minutes. And I thought the oxygen assist was like 20, 20 minutes, maybe. It's a crate. I don't think it's been there's the guy who you're driving an assist. Then you're in. Did you watch last breath? No, what is it? Oh my god. It's this guy ends up

underwater. He was with a crew that was fixing some gas stuff underwater structure out in the North Sea. Somehow the boat got wrenched away and he got like, and he gets left and the boats, all of its computer shits gone out and the line is snapped, which was his oxygen line, his calm line, all of that.

And he's just left there, I shouldn't really talk about what happens in this. I'm gonna do the movie, by the way. Oh, wow. But he was underwater much longer than you could possibly imagine before he got assistance without oxygen. Right.

Well, again, I thought it was close to 20 minutes, and I don't know what you're talking about with this oxygen-acidant, if you have oxygen-acidant, then it's not doing this thing of not breathing. No, no, no, they do this thing where they breathe oxygen for a while, and then they hold it. Oh, I see, before they go down.

But before they go down. No, I don't think without them. I just saw a thing on 60 minutes of a guy who goes, I think they said, don't hold me to it, like 36 stories beneath, that he goes down on a single rope. It's called like deep diving or something, and it's this kind of thing without a tank.

And it's just unbelievable what people can do or why they would want to. I mean, whoa, why put yourself that close to buying the farm? Some people are just the exhilaration, I think, because a lot of the guys, I mean, think about just those guys, you do the big waves. Uh, man, they're ballsy. They're too much to surfers. Yeah.

Oh, you don't surf, do you? Yeah, I do surf. You do? For some reason. Small kind. Small kind. What? Small kind.

What's the thing? What's the thing? You know, I'm not into those crazy waves that happen. But you're the surfboard, I never... Yeah. I thought you should because you've associated with Hawaii. Well, Texas and Hawaii. Yeah, and both.

Yeah, that's it. Because I love them both. You are one of the few people like that who represents the two parts of America, but without hating each other or polarizing, you know, red necks like you and hippies like you. Well, that is that's one of the most fun things you've ever told me. And an intellectual is like yourself, which really makes me happy. A couple others, yeah.

Now it's true, but it's more impressive the red neck and happy thing because, you know, very few things are not like my team or your team, you know, red team or blue team. I'm kind of a redneck hippie. That's why it's just said. Well, you, you were talking about the two sides, but I'm saying of myself, I'm a redneck hippie. Are you saying that about me? Well, I don't know if you're, you, no. No, I was saying you represent,

I know that you were, although you are. A bit of a redneck, but, I mean, that's okay, but in a very good way. Does that thing wrong with being a redneck or burping almost anything? I'm an's okay, but in a very good way. Is there anything wrong with being a redneck or burping on us anything? I'm an alpha male, but so are you, dude? You're a definite alpha. Well, thank you.

You want to just take it off of this thing? Is that a real candle? Yeah. That's a real candle. Now that was something I would have on tape from college days. Is that a real candle? Yes, a real candle. I used to, when I was starting out, like in college, thinking of being a comedian, I used

to have a little tape recorder everywhere I went. And when we would get stone like this, I would just tape everything. Oh, I got to hear one of those tapes immediate immediate dude Where are they? Where the tapes I can wear the tapes. I'd be so afraid to listen aren't you afraid of Of remembering what you were when you were 20. Oh Fuck that I don't know. I think I was a pretty good guy at 20. Really? Yeah. I guess you're more advanced than me. I think I was just an inseparable idiot. Really? Well, I know you're sure you

had. I can confirm your... I would... I would track you. Well, some people are like, no, I always like you, dude. What are we gonna sing now? Warby Parker offers everything you need for happier eyes. Eye glasses, sunglasses, contact lenses, and eye exams. And you can shop with them online or in stores. Try Warby Parker's free home trion program. Order five pairs of glasses to try on at home for free. There's no obligation to buy.

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you mean with politically incorrect? Yeah, right. You feel like that's when you became, well yeah, you see your first national thing. You know, having a regular national gig is, right, right, right. But like you were on a, that you were like a household name before you were 30.

That's a big difference, and you know, where your mind is. Yeah, that is a bit of a life alter. Well, until you make it, you're worried that you will. It's a great relief to like, you know. Oh, for sure. Yes, right? Have you mentioned?

Oh, right. I mean, you know, just like jumping up and down fist, pumping just so psyched about great things that happen, you know. Yeah, you're, you know, you feel like you're the Beatles in 1963. You're just, you know. I never had that delusion, but... No, not to a bad level, but... But it is.

It's just a weird phenomenon, fame. And it's like, unless you've been through it, it's very hard to explain it, right? Impossible. Impossible. It's like acid, you have to either do it or... Yeah. You can't explain it acid. And so, but now, but it's such a,

everybody wants to be famous, you know? And they want it to be famous. And it is. What do you mean? Well, I mean, social media is, it's all about, you know, spreading out the fame quotient. I mean, there's just many more people who are quote unquote famous because they have followers.

You know, there's tons of people you have never heard of, but your kids know. And like if they walk through a casino, like you'd see 12 people walk up to them, but they're on TikTok. You have no idea who they are. I have no idea who they are.. You have no idea who they are. I have no idea who they are. And they have no idea who I am. Everybody knows you because you know, you have... I don't know that that's it.

Oh, yes. Oh, please. You're in like the 8th movie. You know? Yes, even the kids know you, which I get, it's a real feather because everything is so like, you know, divided that way by age group. You know, we just don't mingle them together. And yeah, there's pop stars that, like, where they start like on

you know some it's just like models who are that used to be like a thing okay the most amazing looking women now it's like all nepotism isn't yes, I think it's like Kardashian and like if you're linked to somebody or the daughter of somebody or you know Those are the models. They're pretty But it's like it's all because social media controls everything Isn't that why you gave up your phone? You don't have a phone Yeah, that's true, right? You you thought it was addictive or something

Well, I used to do these little surveys. If you could go back to the 80s, not literally, but suddenly you're in a time when nobody has these devices. If you need to get in touch with people, you call them and if they're not there, you leave a message. Right. Now, there's some benefits you're going to mess, but would you want to give it up? Or would you want to keep your phone? I'm, you're making me answer that question. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm addicted like everybody else. It would be very hard. I mean, if you said to me, like you could solve global warming tomorrow if we give up the phone, I'd probably say, how bad is it gonna be? Yeah. So we get to the hot, you can't stand there. You're too proud of us.

It was delightful today. It's all I'm saying. Just delightful. Thank you, at least. No. I mean, the love of the company is looking after this man. But that's also for today. Also because I'm of an age where I want to enjoy the years we have left, which is not as many as we used up a lot of them, you know. So, well, I'm going to a buck 80,

so I don't know where you're gonna stop. You think that's actually possible? Yeah. 180? I mean, eventually I'm gonna have to get straight away. Well, let me have to give this shit up, probably. Honestly, I think the same way, not 180. I just think because it helps you psychologically,

if you're 66, the thing, oh, okay, if I could lift to 100, that's 34 years. People do, in 34 years, they won't have figured out death. You know, that makes it easy to like do the things that you sacrifice for fun for your health. You know, you could have pizza and cake, but you're like, no, because I want to, you know, try to like stave off this monster that's chasing me, which is age, is a monster that

is always chasing you. And eventually it will catch up to you, even you, with all the sprouts you eat. Well, we're going down a morbid road, but I will say this, there's only one thing ever been proven to reverse aging, ever. Ponds daily on, found the youth, all that shit, all the search for the what how the ultimate found of you. There's only one thing, do you know what it is? No. Reduction of caloric intake, right? And they did this study with all these different mammals, independent studies, and they all found basically the same

thing. If you cut down your caloric intake by 40 to 60%, you increase your lifespan from 60 to 80%. In all of these different monkeys, dogs, they did this whole study. You want to do it, right? You want to do it now. I'm just saying the studies that they did, right? And they found these independent studies. So, if, why are we, you know, I love what you said last week, the fucking great.

Thank you. It's important, you know, because we're not hearing that from our health officials, you know, from Dr. Fauci. But nobody's saying, you know, the e-health. I have to tell you, I get some, for things like that, I get so much shit that sometimes the emails you send me are really so encouraging, I appreciate it. What, dude?

You're so brave and I applaud you for it. Because there's this stamping out in the mainstream media of anything that is derogatory to the, you know, national narrative. You know, the press narrative. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. And you always buck that trend and you go against it, dude, you're heroic to me.

Thank you. No, I, I, look, I couldn't agree with you more. I'm not trying to start a big fight about this. I'm just saying that point of view is kind of the love that Daringland speaks its name. So when I get your email or something, it means a lot to me. That's all. She was. Well, thank you. Yes, no. I mean, I just, you know, did. But I'm worried about the way media is trending. And, you know, you know, about the trusted news initiative, right?

All right, sounds familiar, trust. The trusted news initiative was begun before the last election because the whole idea being to stop subversion by foreign powers. Who started it? And it was started by the BBC, but the New York Times, every Facebook, every all mainstream media, right? Huge. Well, this gives a COVID. This is before COVID.

COVID, okay. This is to stop foreign interference in our elections. Oh, I see. Who could say it's a bad thing? It's Sopin' Russia from Interfering With You. This is great. And it's every big, I mean, it's everyone. It's Twitter, it's everyone. And so what they did was they made sure that there was nothing that entered mainstream media and could be heard by the masses that would affect the election.

Well, anyway, after the elections, they stayed together. They didn't just stop after the election, after everything went smoothly. They focused on COVID. They focused on anything that suggested vaccine hesitancy. Right. They focused on anything to do, adversely, with 5G. Oh, well. They focused on anything that went against the narrative of the COVID and how it's caused and so forth. So, there was just a blanket, cart blanche, those things don't intermainstream media, nothing derogatory. Like I know I've sent you videos. I know they've just gone before.

I talk about it all the time. But that's the trusted news initiative. Yes. I mean, okay, I don't remember that title. There was something, there was like a branch of the Homeland Security Office that they tried to open. Remember, this is only a few months ago, like the Office of Disinformation, I think, it was very Orwellian. They took it down in like two weeks

because the outcry was so, it was so obviously Orwellian. Yeah. What is disinformation? And I mean, I had on the show tonight, this guy Ross Dothat, he's a New York Times colonist, conservative, but he's been on a lot. I like him personally. We don't agree on a lot politically. Sirius Catholic, he got Lyme disease and wrote a book which he was talking about.

It was a fascinating story to me because here's a guy who was more into mainstream Western medicine, got something the regular doctors couldn't figure out. And came out on the other end of it, believing that alternative medicine and the so-called weirdos on the internet, he said, actually did me more good. Yeah, then all the empties.

The first 10, he went to 10 doctors in 10 days, the first 10 days, because when you get lime, it can just, it's just absolutely awful. From, and it moves around, you know, one day it's a blinding headache, and then it's a burning sensation on your skin, and they move and it's, it's obviously something in you.

It's a demon in you. And 10 doctors couldn't get it. I feel like I could have diagnosed that. And 10 of them said, they probably a lot of stress, stress. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, boy, you've got that deadline. And so, you know, I'm pissing blood or whatever.

So, I was just so glad to have him on too because I felt like he was a witness to the case I have been trying to prosecute on television all these years. Not that I'm saying Western medicine is corrupt, although it is somewhat corrupt. We could go in it. But just that they are so in the dark about so much that they don't have the right to tell you how to treat your own personal medical issue. And to me, COVID is an issue.

I should get to treat it the way I treat anything else. Well, I have an issue with profiteering, you know? What were Americans great at war? Great at war with other countries, powerful, great at war with, you know, a microbe, a pathogen, a virus, a germ. Well, if you had spent even one-tenth or even, you know, just, I don't know, one-one-hundredth of that money that was spent combating that microbe on buying up like, you know, forest, you know.

You know what I mean? Like the lungs of the earth need to be protected. like, you know, forest, you know. Right. Yeah. Right. You know what I mean? Like the lungs of the earth need to be protected. And they're all for sale, right? It's, anyway, I know I am high, dude. And I'm spouting off. Well, listen.

I know everything we're saying is highly, you know. I mean, we haven't gotten too specific. I mean, we'll do this anyway you want, but I think the, if you stick, no one really should be able to get you for sticking to an overarching message of, because the crowd will applaud this, that Western medicine does not get the right to call it the science, because science is always changing, it's

always debatable. They want to say, whatever we're saying is the science, which means anything else is you're a quack. That stick to the message of, that's wrong. That's got to change. Because we have the evidence that it should change, because they have been wrong about so much, or they just don't know so much.

Or how could people watch like that movie about the opioid, you know, about the opioid, it was called Dopecic, Michael Keaton. Oh, yeah, I heard that. It's great, yeah. Okay, so that's what that's about. You know, it's strong, yeah. Well, the Sackler, I think, right, family, they own the pharmaceutical company that,

yeah, that was purposely getting people hooked on these opioids, which has killed hundreds of thousands of people. So, I mean, the pharmaceutical industry is capable of that. We all see that. But there wouldn't be something in, like, suggesting maybe more boosters than were necessary. That would be beyond what the pharmaceutical industry is.

And you're still getting boosters right up to this day. I know. And, you know, like, I just, I find it ironic because I think Americans, most Americans, and but maybe it's only like I heard recently a statistic 33%, right? But I would think it's more. Like most Americans would not normally trust the government with helping them. Like, what does the government actually do to help you? And they don't trust the people.

They can help big corporations, industry, all the people that got, you know, got those people into Congress or ultimately to become president. Those people all got to get taken care of. They don't trust the CDC Americans. We have the polling on this. Is that true? That is true. Okay. So here trust the CDC Americans. We have the polling on this. Is that true?

That is true. Okay. And so here's the CDC promoting that we have to do all of these things, right? I just, I don't like profiteering in war, you know? Think of the billions of dollars that have gone to big pharma. But I was getting back to my original point. The last people I would trust with, my health is big farmer and big government

because neither one of those strike me as caring entities. You know? Looking as the perfect redneck hippie. Really? If that message doesn't mean... They're all about profit. Exactly. They're all about profit.

And both say so that. They're saying the profit they've made. Well, again, and there's just a lot of money in selling medicine. I'm not saying some of it isn't necessary and some of it isn't helpful and has saved lives, but you know, we should be able to make decisions about our own personal health. I always say Obama said, if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. That was like the big selling point with Obama care.

Remember that? If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. And when it turned out like 2% of people were unable to keep their doctor, of course, the Republicans made it seem like it was the end of the world when that was actually a pretty good percentage for doing something as big as Obamacare, right? Okay, but I took that seriously. I do like my doctor and I'm going to keep him. And I know plenty of doctors who have, let's just say, an alternate view of what the

Dr. Fauci wing of medicine believes and would recommend. I should have the right to listen to those doctors. They are doctors. Why are your doctors, Jean, you could see plenty of doctors on Twitter writing op-ed columns and news pages and stuff who have a very alternative point of view that you and I would more agree with. What? They're doc, it says MD, sometimes MD, and then some other fucking degree they have on the wall. Why? They have the same degree. If it's the magic formula to have the answers to have gone to medical school, and I'm not saying I know what doctors know who go to medical school, but if that was a magic formula, then why do they disagree with each other?

No, who go to medical school? But if that was a magic form, and then why do they disagree with each other? If that one is the science, the science, the new this science says people with a mask outside. But see, this is the disparity, you know, like there's the there's the germ theory and there's the terrain theory, right? We discussed this many times. Well, you and I have, but you're right. So, uh, people should know that. The germ theory, uh, which was kind of voicet on the public by gentleman named Louis Pasteur, who basically stole every good idea he never had from another guy named Antoine Bay-Shant. Bay-Shant believed in the terrain theory. another guy named Antoine-Basschamp. Basschamp believed in the terrain theory. And that's true, I believe.

And I believed in the germ theory, right? Can I just lay one bit of pipe here? Yeah. The germ theory, some people are gonna think that means that they don't believe in germs. It's not that we don't believe it. The germs are real. We believe in germs are real.

We just believe. Well, okay. But the germ theory is that like there's some, you know, a pastor or proclam that he knew, there's 1878 for the French Academy of Science. He says, I know that every disease comes from these microbes that float through the air and just like land on your food or in your eyeball or something, then I can actually know you're sick and maybe you die.

And it enters these germs, enter a pristine body, basically, in turn. They enter your body. But this is a part of the germ theory that it's a pristine slate in there and that these germs enter and they cause the havoc, okay? Well, this is the great thing about that now. This is the backbone of Western medicine, right? including what what is the culmination of vaccination? Yeah virus is more with vaccines, but yeah, can be both German is a virus, right? Same thing a but yes, it can be both. German is a virus, right? Same thing.

Well, no, there are two different organisms. No, they aren't. German is just a broader term, which virus is... Well, back to Europe's bacteria. Well, back to Europe's bacteria. And bacteria. And bacteria, it all falls under the heading of germ, right? It's like an antelope and a kitten.

I mean, a germ is not a virus. I mean, a germ is not a virus. I mean, a bacteria is not a virus. This is a... But it's important. Bacteria is not a virus, is it? There's two different organisms. No, but they're all germs. Germs is just the broader term.

It's the umbrella term for all of these things, all of these specific things. I think a germs as bacteria. Like pathogens, I think, is the broader term for a virus. Right, but I'm saying those are all under the umbrella of germs. It's not that big of a deal. Yeah, people are gonna think we've been smoking pot.

Well, we haven't. But anyway, I believe in the terrain theory. This is the main thing I want to get across. I believe in the terrain theory. I do too. Can I finish what I want to say? I don't want to interrupt your interruption, dude. Have you done those years strictly ornamental? Do you ever use a gun? I just explained terrain theory. The terrain theory is that what is important is the internal biological terrain. That is what determines one health. The internal cleanliness or the internal filth. That filth generally originates in the colon

or in the large and small intestine. When you're talking, like what you said the other night, about the obesity and the tendency to just eat like it's Thanksgiving, but all the time. It's by the way, I'm enduroed for the last two months. I was like, boy, you brought side of me with that. They didn't give me credit for at least opening the piece by saying, you know what, there are a couple of times a year when you can let yourself go. I'm not a crazy person. It's the summer you're on vacation, do it now. The holidays,

I get it. But all your rent, I mean, is it like so fucking unreasonable the things I'm asking for, but okay, can I make an analogy with terrain? Because I'm sure you've heard it too. It's like mosquitoes in a swamp. The terrain that what do you speak of? That's the condition of your biome, how your condition of your metabolic state because of how you handle your lifestyle, that's it. And it can be shitty or it can be good. If it's not good, if you eat fucking pop tarts all day

or whatever, it you're going to be a swamp. And the germs, pathogens, we want to call them proliferate. Proliferate in a swamp. Do I mischitos proliferate in a swamp? Mischitos can't breed if there's no swamp to breed in. So if you keep your body in pretty good, non-swampy state, you don't have to fear the pathogen so much

and you won't have to take these, you know, let's just say exterior as opposed to interior solutions. I mean, staying away from people and vaccines and yeah, there is a place for all of this. But to me, if we handled it, there was no even a suggestion that we handle this internally by making our immune systems stronger, not just with diet, but you know, some basic things you can do, like instead of locking yourself away, get some sun. I think they've

done a lot of studies about vitamin D and how important it was when the people had low levels, they were much more vulnerable to COVID. Why not tell people that? Can't you make money selling vitamin D? Is it that kind of, what's the worst of good habits? That's just it, man. There was only one thing, you know, I remect and got made into a horse you know, horse tranquilizer, horse, whatever it is.

Which it is, but also used by humans. It is by millions of millions of years. Hydroxychloroquine got made ridiculous, and there was only one thing that could work, and that's the vaccine, right? And so, ultimately, because of that, billions of dollars was made. Hiring new employees now is more challenging than ever. I know Survey just came out that said,

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from the HBO Max archive. You can listen to HBO Max movie club wherever you get your podcasts. There was a book about 2005 I think Naomi Klein called the Shock Doctrine. I don't know if you recall it but it was a... I love Naomi Klein. Okay big book of the year. Yeah. Because it was about how industry uses a crisis to then come in and make trillion to the... And her example was mostly Iraq. You know, Halibut was selling, I'm sure, a $30 sodas at the PX. And, you know, the Iraq war was very good for Halibut and so

That's the theory, but war is generally is always very good to Halibut. Yes, but like we didn't cause 9-11 to happen But when it happened once the crisis was upon us That's when industry smells an opportunity to use the crisis to make a fortune. I think- Do you not think that it was industry that got us into Iraq, a royal industry? Well, yeah, I think we're saying the same thing.

Yeah. So it's two in- There's a lot of profiteering going on. Yes, but the second Iraq war after- Yeah, that's what I'm talking about then. When we were attacked not by Iraq, but then attacked Iraq war after, you know, that's what I'm talking about. When we were attacked, not by Iraq, but then attacked Iraq in retaliation of the attack. They never did against us.

Not to mention Afghanistan, which never did anything. At least been a lot and was in Afghanistan. You could kind of connect that dot a little. Right. But you think that's the reason we have. No, I think we should have gotten. we. I think we should have gotten have to do with those pipelines to the Caspian Sea. The pipelines go right through Afghanistan.

Anyway, you think that's why we got into Afghanistan to protect the pipelines? Well, I think that that whole play is all about oil. You know, I don't know what's in these gloves cigarettes. It is working like a motherfucker. Do you think that does or not? I mean, I, I mean, I, I mean, I, I mean, I even have to think. You really think we went into it? Do you think we go into war for anything other than,

yes, then, then, then, resources, or strategic. Yes, I do. Okay, let me go to World War II. Go ahead. No, no, not just World War II. We do go to war for other reasons.

What do you think about the end? I think not. Okay, but this is much more apropos to what I was saying. This is kind of the thesis of the shock doctrine, which I think, I like that book so much, because it's saying kind of the opposite of what you're saying. Not that we always like purposely plan this,

industry plans this as a way to get, no, but when there is an opportunity, which comes up because life is a fucked up place and shit happens, and Demick's happened, and other thing, terrorism, and from feuds that go back a thousand years, you know, we went to Afghanistan because Bush is from Texas and you don't mess with Texas

and if somebody attacked us and they tried to kill my daddy and we're gonna kick some Texas ass. That's much more than he didn't need money. You think it was that? You really think it was that? Absolutely it was that. You really think it was that? Absolutely. It was that. No. It wasn't. Oh, you think presidents don't, but first of all, you don't become president unless you bound Kishtarang and you get told what to do in scenarios like that. Well, you're talking

to me. Believe me. You're talking to me like your Michael Corleone and I'm K. your Michael Corleone and I'm K. What? What? What? Which I resent highly. Who's being naive, K? I would never lie to you. My father's no different than any other powerful man, a senator, a governor.

Oh, Michael, you're so naive. Who's being naive, K? Now, that's dialogue. Oh, my God. I mean, did you watch the offer? The what? The offer. It's on Paramount Plus.

No. It's awesome. It's this. What is it? It's the first one I watched where I was like binging something. It's about the making of the Godfather. Oh, I was just looking at a book about that. Really good.

Is it amazing? Yes. What's it called? The offer. You know, like I'll make them an offer you can't refuse. Yeah. I'll make them an offer you can't refuse. Yeah. That's good.

So I have to bring my son Michael back to me, just for him, if he should hang himself in his jail cell, put a bullet in his brain, then I'm going to blame some of the people in this room. I'm not out doing that for a gift. Isn't it ridiculous to read men all men? It's ridiculous. It's like our Bible, and women don't watch this movie.

Really? Yes. Yes. Women will not watch the Godfather. I think they're just fucking with us. I just think they're fucking with us. It's a way to fuck with us. They will not watch the Godfather. They're coming with them. My daughter's wearing.

I know. It's, you asked me for this favor. Wow. That's really dead dead-on Brando Yeah, now the guy the guy who does Brando. I mean he's in the movie and it's not big part. It's perfect It's just about how, and they're the amount of actual hairy shit that happened with the real mafia who, as you might recall, did not want the movie to get made. Yeah, but the producer went and talked to him or something?

That's what, like, an eight-part miniseries is all about. The producer went and talked to them. Yes, I mean, it's all about... Oh, there must have been a lot of build up, obviously. Well, it's all about it because they were getting you locked from this standing out of it. You were remembering out of it, right? The hybrid heavens. Yeah. It was a, I mean, for people like us who actually knew him and what a character.

What a character. For it, and this guy who does him, fantastic. Only a British actor could do it this good. Oh, right. It looked like him. He sounded like him, he brought, it was perfect. And then the lead guy who played Al Ready, I remember seeing that name on the credits in the Godfather when I've seen it, the 10 million times I've seen it, and I'm like, who's this guy? Oh, this is a limited series?

Is this a limited series? It's like eight episodes or something. Yeah, it's great. And Miles Teller plays Al Ready. And I never, I was kind of agnostic on Miles Teller. You always lose plenty of very young guy. And like, okay, he's a good guy, okay, whatever. He's good.

Now he's a man. And he did this party's perfect. I give him five stars for this. Yeah, he's a good actor. And my prediction is you'll be doing a movie with him in exactly 19 months, because. No, we had talked about this project. Oh, here's your new boyfriend. I'm at him. No, I'm not. He's your new boyfriend. They're getting younger. Oh no.

I got a text, McConaughey. I really get a hint of jealousy from you. It's so, it's so unrighteous. I'm just jealous. I'm just, I just love the way you, oh, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, I'm just I am. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm Oh, I'm so glad I remembered that. Yes, I wanted to get back to that. I needed to reduce the calories, dude. I've been on, I thought about, I'm in my summer mode, right? How long did, how long did summer go before you got to start tightening?

Oh. Well, you're so active, you know, you can, I mean, you always look like you just came from a soccer game and you probably did. I remember you showing up here without shoes. Like that. Did you have any shoes when you came in? I remember you coming in and you would like to show up at my house.

I got it. In bare feet. I'm in the house. He's barely in. Like I'm Huckleberry Finn. And you're topsoaring. You got a laughing bag, can you? I'm Huckleberry Finn and your top soul. You got a laughing bag, can't you?

Finally, little chocolate. We've been so serious. And what are you doing? Wow, look at that. What? And What are you new project? You're on the edge, my hand show. What? I Hear your collect toy trains.

No, did you pour something in here? Did you? No, really, what are you talking about? Did you pour liquor in there? Did I dream that? I can't use this on you so it's not melting fast enough Okay You're not gonna be heard if I do I can't believe you did that Why why was that why was the short cut why was that particular ice? Oh, yeah, short cutted the oh nothing

There you go. Hey before I forget forget, seriously, this thing about reduced calorie that you were talking about. You know that there are people who are doing that right now that believe that they will live to 150. Right. They're almost like cutting them in. They're just reducing their caloric consumption or their fasting sometimes. They're certainly vegetarians, but even there are a couple of subway stops past that. You know, like a meal is like a bowl of lettuce.

You know, it's, it's, I know it's really strict. They believe, and I think they might. And of course, the immediate joke for everyone is like, but who would want to? But it's a good joke because it comes from the rally. Who, I mean, yes, you probably could have lived another 50 years past what we would normally live on, like our best kind of life, but is it worth it? Because food, like, I'm not a foodie.

I mean, you can't be a foodie and be healthy. If food is that important, so I'm lucky in that way. But to not have any food. That's the luckiest thing, because most people are foodies. I'm a foodie. And I eat too much today. I've seen you a billion times. You don't eat too much.

First of all, you eat too much. I eat too much. What foods are you overeating? It doesn't matter. It does matter. If you overeat, you're still overeat. I can't even have this discussion. I mean, what if I get my overeat, you know, 20 times the 20 salads instead of having, you know, five salads, you could see how that would be. No, I don't. That's all I eat. No, I don't. But I've also eaten quite a lot of cooked food. And I believe in the enzymatic value of-

I think you just must have eaten peyote because that's- I think you must have just eaten peyote because that's such a preposterous point you're trying to make. Of course, it matters what you eat or overeat. It does. Yes, can you? Sickness is about congestion in the body. When you get sick, no, dude, you believe this.

It's congestion in the body. And when you get sick, it's your body asking you to cleanse itself. Yes. That's exactly what's going on. But it is important to acknowledge also that not everything that goes wrong with someone's health is because of something they could or should have done. Lots of things go wrong with people's health that is not at all their fault. I will grant you that.

Thank you. All right. Absolutely. That's so important to me. I totally agree with you. Okay. There are those anomalies, but generally, what you're doing is a little more than an anomaly.

Children get cancer. They didn't do anything to deserve it, kind of thing. You know what I'm saying? It's more than an anomaly that lots of health things can happen because as much as the religious people would like to call it intelligent design, it's not really that intelligently designed in a lot of ways. And a lot of shit. I know many people who got cancer and cleanse as a way of healing themselves from what was

done. And many others tried that and died. It has happened both ways. But it's not going to agree on this. It is not because... So the statement, cleansing is a reliable way to cure cancer. No. Okay. Cleansing is a reliable way to counteract any disease. Well, so cancer.

To me, fasting is one of the most important things you can do if you're getting sick. I'm fast, like three or four times a year. Okay, well, that's what animals do in the wild. You know, they start to get sick, they fast, they drink water. It's also how natural thing to do. If you have a problem in your pipes, well then you got to at least turn off the influx of the shit coming in before you can address what's going on, right?

But people keep eating the shit. And people, I know many people who would not want to change their lifestyle, if that's what it took to give up. I know people like that too. They're called Americans. No. If they had, if that's what it took. I know people like that too. They're called Americans. Anyway. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm getting up on my soapbox. I don't want to be that guy, dude. I'm sorry. Don't leave me. I'm sorry. And like you said before, like there's a lot of truth about health that does not get out there in America. It is a fucking very cloistered room

where we talk about medicine in America. So, I for one, don't apologize at all for trying to open a window. Well, now look, I want to say, Western medicine is great if you break your ankle, or you have some kind of acute thing. Right. But in treating disease, there seems to be like three ways they address it.

One is surgery, another is radiation, another is chemo. So you're going to poison the system, you're going to rate the system, or you're going to cut out shit from the system or you're going to cut out shit from the system. All of which, if you just stop the shit from coming in, it's like earlier we're talking about the terrain. The fly did not create the trash heap. You got to address the trash heap, which is congestion in your body, which originates in the colon. From all the shit we all day long, where we can't even, our body can't even keep up, the digestion process, you know? And so we grow here, that's not fat, that's shit in your colon.

So to say that we're full of shit is absolutely true, I say it of you all the time. Usually when I'm not even around you. So, okay. We agree on all of that. That's where you and I hold hands like you and Owen Wilson in a canoe. So, I do love Owen. Oh, that's fucking awesome. One of the greatest human beings.

Really? He really is. He just made Peter Farley very jealous. He just made Peter Farley very jealous. That didn't make any, that made Peter any less fantastic. Well, I don't know. There's some talk among those guys. Oh my God. I love Peter Farley, man. Fantastic. Well, I don't know there's some talk among those guys

No, but fairly, but I love Bobby fairly you know I did a movie with Bobby fair no kidding champions Oh a new one. Yeah, or they even kingpin You know you did a new is it's coming out It'll come out in March. It's fantastic. What's it about? Well, I've never made a remake. But really, didn't you make King Kong? Oh no, you made eight. Sorry. That's a sequel. I'm Mr. Seagull. Here you go. Here you go. I come a little kid asking for an autograph. Babe Ruth. Here you go. I come a little kid asking for an autograph. Babe Ruth, here you go. There you go. Thanks, Mr. Ruth.

You know, the herb dumps me down sometimes. At least I'm going to contribute to that. I think it dumps you up. But I'm a long half full kind of guy. Anyway, you're where are you? You made that joke. That's that's good. No, but it's a good guy. I like that bon-haffful. Oh, I don't know. We should record it. So, all right, so you're in a canoe. No, wait, where are we? You're a little jealousy thing keeps cropping up. And it's like it's an ongoing you. That picture of me, which I don't hate

on a stand-up pattern, we're off for Croatia. Boy, that fucking motherfucker! You're saying, fuckers are right there, the problem like those bastards. I'm just saying, the way you're able to like clout all your boyfriends in the press,

and like none of them get jealous because it's like, oh, he's just my boyfriend. What could be going on? Yeah, it's kind of like when Michael Jackson would be seen with all these kids. Everybody would be like, well, come on. If he was doing something with them, it wouldn't be in public holding their hands

and being in a canoe with them. I mean, Michael Jackson in a canoe with a kid. Nothing could be going, like God. And I feel the same when I see you. Anyway, how long have you been into canoeing? What is this movie about? Champions. I know, it's a title and it's from Spain.

But what is it about? Like Jack and Jill go up the hill or we're warriors or what is it? Is it sports? Give me a category, popery, anything. So I play basketball, an assistant coach in G league basketball. My character ends up getting into an altercation. She's doing it. You got to do it on my fucking feet. I'm sorry. And you got me the pox on my feet.

The pox on my feet. Here, I clean him to feel like I'm the Pope. You're so poor. You're so poor. You're so poor. This is a real Jesus. This is a Jesus moment. This is a real Jesus moment, dude.

I've never seen this. You're like Jesus. Have you ever seen the Pope do this? This Pope that we have now, he loves washing like peasants feet. And I just always picture them like, you know, the Pope can pop it over the right. He's got like a red sand.

He's standing there. They're all in step. We're all there, standing up there. Setting up the cameras to pop. He's changing. He's doing this with a big hat. They're getting it. And then pop.

OK, we got it. We got it. Pop. Okay, we got it. The pulps. The pulps. I'm out of here. He's in his trailer. Anyway.

Oh, God, dude. I can't believe I'm laughing like this. So, it's a basketball movie. I like to make toast. Like, to Belmar. I like to make toast because I'm hungry. I've got a toast. I ordered you some great food.

But since it doesn't matter what kind of food you eat, change that order to fat burger. Johnny and french fries. Yeah, if it doesn't matter, why did we... I know the food you love from the restaurant you love. You don't think that food is different than fast food. You don't think it makes a difference if you overrate fast food or that food? Oh, definitely makes a difference. You said 10 minutes ago, the opposite. You said it doesn't make a difference. What I eat, overeating is overeating. You said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I mean, what I'm saying is if you're overeating, you're still overeating, you know, like even, I mean, I'm not, I'm, there is a difference, you know, if you're overeating, you know, very congesting foods like, right, decent, you know, cheese and... Well, that's what I was saying, darling. Okay, dear. Do you hear what happened to Salman Rushdie today? What? He got stabbed.

Did he? Yeah. He was doing an event. They said they were going to get him and they did. It took them 30. They got them? No. Well, we don't know.

Hopefully not. He went to the hospital. Lost an eye, at least. He did? Yeah. Guy stabbed him up repeatedly. He was doing a event in Chateauquois, New New York about how great it is that authors have freedom of speech here in America That was what he was talking about. Yeah, I mean you couldn't write a script like that

That's heavy, dude. I love sound and rusty. That guy's a master. Oh, I love him. I That guy is a master. Me, too. Oh, I love him. I... Midnight's children, one of the greatest books I've ever read in my life. He's a brilliant author. He's a brave guy, and he's a fun guy. I don't know what more you want.

You hang out with him? Oh, all the time. Really? I remember we were at the Tower Bar, like maybe five years ago. We were waiting for the table and some lady comes over and it's all up into us and says, I just wanna know, how do you guys know each other? And we just were like, I don't remember.

And that's like the way the, I'm sure it was from being on my show or something, but like when did we actually start hanging out? It's always best when it happens so organically. Oh, I met you before the show. I met you just out in Hollywood or whatever, you know. You know what I'm talking about me and Salmon Rushdie. Oh, you and Salmon Rushdie.

Oh, yeah. It was with him at the Tower Bar and the lady says, how do you know each other? And we were both like, you know, I don't remember because it just happened so organically. That's what I'm saying. Like you can't force friendships, you know, when you're young, when you're in 20s, that's all you're always... Sure, it wouldn't let the playboy man feel.

Oh, Jesus. Sounds like a real man. I know. I'll take you in with you. I don't think someone rushy would go to the playboy mention, but man, was he a pussy magnet? Salmon rush rusty, absolutely. And I asked him about that many times, sometimes on the air,

because, and of course, after he was targeted, he became a, you know, women like a bad boy. You know, one could be more of a like, I'm like, then, they, you know, the asshole tried to kill me, and I lived to tell the tale, you know, and I'm fucking Tom and Rusty and like, so smart. Dude, that's like, that was the beginning of a song.

But I am actually quite sad to hear about Tom and Rusty. Oh, it's hard. I think that guy's like one of the great geniuses I'd love to meet him. And not just, yes, geniuses are just like, at death's door. I don't know. We don't know. It happened today. You see an intensive care? Yes. Yes. Yes. It could go the worst way.

And I just, I think if he's been there this long, I think they'll find a way. But he's 75. I mean, you know if he's been there this long, I think they'll find a way, but he's 75. I mean, you know, he was repeatedly stabbed. We don't know by who we think it's the Amish. Do you say Amish? Yes, of course. I always say that Anyway, but

I didn't mean to bring you down. I just know that that is somebody you would love because you're a free speech lover What do I love your freedom lover? You know you love your freedom like like the way you I mean Like when I went to your place and that one time that I went all the way out to your place in Hawaii, which is off the grid, there's no, there's nothing. There's no toilet. There's a toilet. There's a hole you squat. No, no, no, no. There's no walls. You live in a porch.

I always tell you that. But it's a beautiful house. But like all the grounds and that you have a tree house, you still have the old tree house. Yeah. Right. It just, you know, it speaks of someone who really loves freedom. And, uh, thanks. You know, that's, yes, well, you do. You know, you don't want anybody to, I'm the same way. I remember to tell me what to do. It's funny the way, like, both sides, like, claim that as their thing, we're the freedom people.

You know, the other people hate freedom. We love freedom. But, you know, everybody loves their, what their freedom is, like that old thing about your freedom to swing your arm, ends at my nose. Well, if it ends at my nose, it's got to end inside my body. Right? You can't. You can't say, well, I agree. I shouldn't be able to punch you in the nose,

but I should be able to punch you inside your body. Oh, yeah, like a four and substance. Yeah. But that's what I object to. There are many people who I would highly recommend getting the vaccine. Really? Absolutely. Which is basically the elderly, the very elderly, or, yes, sorry, the obese people who are the most vulnerable to all sicknesses. Of course, exactly. People with underlying conditions. We know, I mean, 40% of the people who died in the umma crumb wave were vaccinated. A lot of people don't know that. Good. I'm glad you sang that. No, sweetheart, do I ever pull a punch? Well, no, but what, I mean, you're sitting here giving a lot of glory to the...

I'm not giving a lot of glory. As I could see in the back, see? I'm giving balance, not glory. I'm just saying people... I'm giving balance, not glory. For good, those. That was like a bit. I'm mean, I go, I was washing your feet like the Pope.

Like Jesus, dude. Are you going to give Jesus a little credit? Where are you going to give Jesus a little credit? When you buy a pair of shoes, what is it with you? When shoes. I mean, no, do you mean sandals? What, okay, but you barely have a, I mean, dead, I mean, dead.

I'm worried about your soul. What's gonna happen? My soul? I don't think you believe in, you don't believe in Jesus. You don't believe in after world. You don't believe, you're not a Christian after world.

Then you raised a Christian with your half Jewish, but let me ask you, let me ask you a question. Are you concerned about the fate of your soul? Fuck no. Of course not. What's going to happen when you die? What?

Oh, for fuck's sake. Well, no one knows that. No one should pretend to know that. The people who pretend to know that are called religious. I could say mean things right now, but I won't because it's not like me to make flutter religion. But yes, I mean, look, the fact that we don't know what happens

when we die is universal to all humans. Some people, their response to that is, let's make up stories about what happened when you die. And some people are like, yeah, I don't know what happens when you die, but I'm not going to make up a story about it, because that seems more childish. I hope that didn't come off as, uh, too. Wow, that got real negative, dude.

True or not? Wait, what are you at Jesus' ring now? Well, I believe that Jesus existed. Well, that's an interesting discussion, you're talking about the historical Jesus. Yeah. He may not have. I believe he existed.

He may have. Well, I don't know. If I were in Vegas, I'd bet a lot. I believe you existed historically. I believe in... I believe if Jesus existed, there would never be a Vegas. But okay, go ahead. No, I love Vegas.

So you're here at Christian? I didn't know this. Boy, you've... Yeah, I'm glad you've found that with it. It was an old lip season, then it's no. I love banks. I'm glad you threw that in. I know. You're like, you know, we're talking here, but there's the cameras in there.

No, no, yeah, because I worked there in Vegas. Absolutely, dude. Right. No one's saying that wasn't sincere. No, I got to, I'm not like you with $400,000,000 in the bank because I'm in every giant franchise. Dude. Dude. I have to like, $400,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, But I would like to keep my vagus. Hey, I got a, I got an idea.

And then one day I'm gonna buy a yacht and then not invite all your boyfriends, but you could. I got an idea. All right, you and I together. We take the test loud. Take the one, the Tesla. And we Uber for a day or two and we what Uber?

We become over Oh my God you and me in the front seat Oh, we just do it. Oh, hey, we promote what are we promoting? No, this is what are we promoting? This is what you're me together. This is what your other boyfriends are for what are you and I this would be a great one for Owen Wilson You and Owen Wilson, I don't want to get in the way of what I think would be a much better pairing. What is your deal? I want you to come and see me in Vegas, I'll be in Kansas City, I'll be in Cincinnati. And then it's like, is there never a word about the woods which you are one of the owners of the woods?

And it's like, is that anathema to you? Why don't you ever need to suggest about people going to the woods? Now, I am promoted it myself until right now. But, but. And I was all ready to like say, you know, and you are right. I should because I was always impressed from

the second I walked into that place. I was like, wow, I'm on Santa Monica Boulevard and then I'm like, wait a second, I feel like I'm in like this, you know, the gardens behind, you know, the Angor Wat, that's gonna say Pavilion, but I don't think Angor Wat is a Pavilion. I'm just gonna say pavilion. I don't think Angkor Wat is a pavilion. Statues or whatever they are. I mean, it's like this amazing space with all these gardens and, anyways, the purpose, placing it.

Coipan. Well, coipan. And beautiful. I never fucking coipan. But I don't have this whole like magical, I don't know, it seems multi-theored, maybe I was high. But that's the thing, it's a great place to be high. And it's perfect because the front of the store

is where you buy stuff and get high, and then you go back in that garden. It is amazing. You can smoke. And you can smoke, because there's smoking on the premises. I want you to get a great place to go. Oh yeah. There's bar.

How's it doing? Everything's gonna be open. How's it doing? How's my be open. How's it doing? How's my money doing? Well, dude, you know. Well, dude is not the way I wanted that to. Well, dude. And then came my ellipses.

Yeah, I know. Really? Are we doing this? No, we're doing okay, dude. We're gonna, but look, we're still. Why are we doing great? Dude, we're still building the bars. There's two bars The people are with bars do people bars bars really? That's what I want to call them. Let's call it there

I mean we're still debating me and Samba What mean Samba still debating Mars bars. Oh, is there something better? Right Is there something better? Right. The kind of book. I think there is something better. The kind of hay bars. Well, that actually would be better, yes. I got to agree. But yeah, no, I'm all for getting my money back out.

So whatever it would be. This is a big thing. Oh, I know. I'm so glad we're in this together. Yes. That's something. I'm so glad you are. I'm so glad that you I'm glad to man. I'm glad you. Yeah. I'm glad we're both. I'm glad that we're glad. You know, it's nice to be nice to the nice. Okay. so. Yeah. How was your mom? Yeah.

My mom, by the way. She's doing okay, she broke her foot. You're gonna laugh. You're gonna laugh. The first thing when I say my mother broke her foot is to laugh. How'd she break her foot, Woody? What is wrong with you? Did that your first response to my mother breaking her foot?

How'd she break her foot, Woody? What is it? Well, dude, wow. Look, less and more. Can you tell which one is more? Would you like more? I know. This is more and more in our lungs. Oh.

Does it not bad, right? That was a ripper of a joke. I can hear those guys laughing back there. Don't let them fucking kill their children. Don't remind me about our lungs though. How about you think we're hurting our lungs? Sir, of course. Of course, what are you kidding?

What the ultimate thing is just to eat it. But you're, I can't imagine. And we're gonna have, we're ultimately, you and me, we're gonna, you're gonna love it. Everybody's gonna love it. The best adibles ever in history. You know, Laura makes us fucking killer chocolate. I can't imagine adibles.

No, you can't do adibles. You're saying that because you don't know the dose. But if you knew the dose and you trusted the dose, then you'd be okay. Well, like Donald Trump, you're just pulling things out of your ass now. You don't know that I've never done it without knew the dose and you trusted the dose, then you'd be okay. Well, like Donald Trump, you're just pulling things out of your ass now. You don't know that I've never done it without knowing the dose. I've done it many times with knowing the dose.

Dude, if you did write dose, then your only reaction is going to be I fucking love it. So no, you didn't do the right dose. Why do you claim to know things you couldn't possibly know? Why would that show that to your... It's kind of in my nature. I was going to say that this is a bit- I admit it, I'm a bit bombastic.

That is your amelibate wrong sometimes. Your specifics. Look, some of the things we've talked about, I've been right. I know, but- Wow, put that on a bumper, sticker. Some of the things I've talked about, I've been right. Hey, Charles and four America. In Vegas. I'll get it right. You get 60% right.

That's pretty good. But okay. You're smart. Vegas. Well, you love those guys, right? Is maybe is Vegas your favorite city in America? Which is is that your favorite? Of course not. I live in my favorite city. Well, it did. I what did what okay don't get on your heels or don't get on the balls you feel bad don't put me on my you what is your fucking wide-ranging voice what are you are you one of those guys what are what guys you know are you Beyond is right now. About what? Are you? You told them about the Godfather.

Like, are you beyond us? Am I rich? How could I be in the mafia? The awesome. My people, I'm Jewish Irish. My peoples have much in common. Both achieved their independence as nations only in the 20th century the Irish and the Jews and both are very what I'm starting to get

the heavy lids to wipe each other all right just for, I'm going to go, going to go through the entire history of both country and men to just nod off. Go ahead. In just wing, what are your footies with this thing? Please be quiet. In the eighth century, these Celtic tribes were found across the Newfoundland border. They migrated through Edinburgh

in what is today Glockenspiel. Meanwhile, in the Middle East, the Jews, whereas they always are, looking for a sail. Oh my God. Now I'm half Jewish. I can make a joke. You can make those Jews. I make that joke here. Yes, trouble. Women are always like thinking that there's this level of you.

You know, that's women. What do you mean level of you? What's that mean? What's with the tip? I'm gonna finish my sentence, I'll tell you. Sorry, I didn't. All right. You back to your lips, he's like, I fucked up about it.

I'll be going, I'm so good. He's me. From getting my lines wrong. So women, they love to, for some reason, think that there's always a level of you that is deeper, that you're not like sharing with them. You know, like, I'm gonna how much you dig down. I'm not you, because you have a amazing Lora and you're happily married and you found your blah, blah, blah, but for people like me a lot of you blah blah.

Yeah, well, I wanna get it. That's a good song, too, dude. That's a good course. You found your blah blah blah. That's what I heard them back then. That's what you said. If someone chugles, no, feel free, you guys. That's like, yeah, that's like a 60s Tommy James in the Chondales.

You found your blah, blah, blah, blah. You found your blah, blah, blah. But they always think that there's like, you know, you're somehow not like giving all of you. And I feel like, I'm telling you. Please, there's no more. You're giving all of you. I'm telling you you're giving. I don't I don't. It's't happen a lot, but I'm telling you that women in general think that there is this level at some times.

It's like no, like this is it. You got to the basement, although that is public parking. I don't think you wanna go in there. You got it, This is it. I'm actually not deeper. You know, and it's like, it's in a way it's kind of flattering and in a way it's fucking annoying.

Because like, no, I'm not hiding anything. I didn't want to. I mean, you're the same way as I am. Like, hiding is work. It causes stress. No, dude, you are yourself 100%. No, you really are. Yeah, I admire like how honest you are and like, you just like this is how it is. This is how it is. And no, no, but that's cool because I think women appreciate that too. Ever associates with you. They're like, he immediately let me know. This is how it is.

Whoever associates. It's like I'm in the mosque. Well, we're coming for a cycle on this, too. Is there anything you want to tell me, honestly, right now? We have a video or audio of me talking outside the social club? You would always get those mafia guys. I would always. Oh yeah.

Remember? So I've seen you in a couple of new ones where you were like, bad ass. Oh yeah, you mean? Yeah. With Kevin Hart? Yes. And then, what was the one where? Yeah, that's good.

That woman, or I think it was in Japan. Kevin Hart, it was in Japan. And I've seen him in a million things. This is a funny stuff I've ever seen him. Kevin Hart, thanks for fel, right in the middle of my talk of seen him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The shameless promotion.

Sorry. But it is, he is great. Kevin Holt from Toronto. No. Netflix. I... Where is that guy? Oh, there.

Yeah. No, I loved it. It's great. It's, um, I remember you telling him about it. I remember I was kidding you. And I was saying to you, you always find a way to like stay in the game. Here you are partnering with this,

like hottest comedian actor. No, I don't do it for that reason. No, I know. It's pure entertainment and I love action. I love action movies more than anybody. I think the tapetop and the tapetop is born identity. I love the born identity. Oh, I love them more than my next roles.

I love the born more. They're amazing. The best. Anyway, that's not... but what were we talking about? It was something important. You feel like your memory is still there? My memory. I have no problem.

Nearly perfect. Mine is definitely not perfect, but I mean, I feel like over time your mind trans... What happens to the mind? It transforms things, it moves the furniture, it will remember. What else happens to the mind, dude? Anything that I'm doing right now that makes you think of anything that happens to the mind? I know I was supposed to be getting this point, but I don't.

Didn't do anything. Didn't do anything. What are you talking about? Smoking pot. Yeah, yes, it changed. What, do you mean? Yeah. It changes your thought pattern, your memory.

Your memory, yes. You know, at the end of his life, I used to hang out with Timothy Larry. Yeah. And he said, you know, people say to me. You know, at the end of his life, I was hanging out with Timothy Larry. Yeah. And he said, you know, people say to me, you know, but doesn't drugs affect your memory. And he said, yeah, that's why I carry a pencil. And I feel like that encapsulates how I feel about it. Like, do you lose something in things like memory, cognition,

ability to operate a vehicle? What? ability to operate a vehicle. Yes, you lose certain things. Mental clarity, consciousness. Yes, okay. There's a short list of things you lose. But what you gained is creativity and that's the trade-off. You're trading creativity for these other qualities which I think are more pedestrian because because you're a stoner.

What you have to believe my friends. I learned the memory cognition like a higher level of like a tenet. Because I'm more of a believer. No, that's not important. Yeah, I get it. I mean, of course. Oh, I just am saying, what am I saying? That the creativity is more rare.

And so I'm willing to give up some brain cells or whatever I'm giving up, remembering, you know, I'll get out the door. Remembering, I feel like is- How many times have you had to go back and get your keys, you forgot your keys? And then you leave, and then you leave, and then you forgot your wallet,

and then you go, and then you forget. I totally relate to that. Getting out of the house when you're stoned is a terrible thing because you're right. Especially if you're like this meticulous paranoid like me, where like, oh my God, do I have everything? Do I have everything I need? And then it's, yeah.

It's, and you forget it. Well, I lived five story walk up in my buddy's house, Matthew and Primrose Hill did for like almost a year. Where who's it? You know, Matthew Freud. Matthew Freud? Anyway, I used to go, I used to leave the house. Fuck, I forgot my fucking thing.

You know, I go back up, you know, grab my wallet, whatever it is, and come all the way back down. Forgot, then walk back up and did like, I was fuming at myself like who's to blame for this lack of memory Right, but I mean, you know, but I can't acknowledge that dude. I know look I'm gonna I'm gonna sit here and promote Let's smoke you know, we have a dispensary together sit here and promote. Let's smoke. You know, we have a dispensary together. The woods.

San Monica Boulevard. Hi, I really want to. What's Hollywood? I really have dropped the ball on that. Yeah. I mean, you know, I see you at the end of the show as you promote like the next place you're going to get off things. You promote this, of course. You got several things you promote. The woods is something you should cherish. And you're one of the owners, and let's get

the word out, dude. I haven't done it myself. But what were you doing it together? I love the way you add that as an adendum on that other speech. But yes, okay, take yes or an answer. You're right. It is, I must say, a little bit of, I can't do it.

All right. You don't have to thank me. Again, I'm thank you for bringing me in as a partner. Again, I'm in the mafia. Okay, but I must say, it is just, is it a little odd? I'm not, say I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

It is a little odd at the end of a show on HBO. She's a real network. I mean, I think people understand promoting your upcoming live dates. I mean Las Vegas, Johnny Carson used to do it. I mean, it's a thing. Right, right, right. OK.

And I don't need a dispenser. And I don't promote this often, but I have mentioned it. I think once in a time. Almost every time. Not every time. Probably twice, I've mentioned it. 99% not you're making it. Carry on, carry on. Okay, Donald Trump, you're making things up, you're just pulling them out of it.

He promoted it the most in history ever. The most in history promoted this podcast. It's in disgrace. No, I promoted a couple of times. Who blames you? No one blames you. I'm just saying it's a little odd. Who blames you?

People don't usually plug stores. No. That's what I'm saying. I don't know. Well, it's a store. How about a revolutionary dispensary? Never been done. Two bars, fucking outdoor space

where you can actually invite right there the most beautiful dispensary you've ever seen in the world. It really is. And you got to admit that. And so what do you mean? You know, what's the shame in promoting that? There is none. And who's going to ever say, in mind, we're just making into a funny thing.

I couldn't agree more. And what do you podcast? If they joined up now, what else do they get? Now, I I am not I Can take yes Testing the I'm gonna take a yes and the ellipses as an answer That should be the name of your yacht ellipses would not be very like that very area died This is the longest interview I've done in my life.

It was hardly an interview. No, dude, we're just sitting here cracking lines. Okay. No, but honestly, how long does this people have down to? Can we get it down to 15 minutes? Whatever we want. Whatever we want. Really?

I always have 22 minutes of just a Yes, that's what that's what I call the good part No, all right, well let's keep laughing Okay, and when we say we say cut that they just No, you got every fucking space in this whole fucking room. Grandpa, you're like London. I mean, you're like, Grandpa, this is fucking Hong Kong. Every fucking, there's facial recognition everywhere.

Grandpa, it's so different now. Grandpa, I know I'm serious. It was great because you had all the cameras and the cameraman and all the producers are standing around, but things are different now. I'm not yet a grandpa, sir. Are you not woke enough for your kids? Did.

No, I'm not nearly woke enough. Really? I just want to... I don't know what the whole benefit of the whole woke thing. You know, like I worry about comedians, you know? Saul Billburne night before last. Fucking phenomenal. Terrific comedians.

And Queens. But it's so rare now and you're an exception, but it's rare that you can really just speak your mind and not worry about the consequences. Like even Dave Chappelle, big blowback. Dave Chappelle is the most— They attacked him, aren't you? You would think the most invulnerable of any comedian. I know they got it.

Bill Burr is saying things like, it astounds me the jokes he makes. And I love that he has that edge and he hasn't compromised, you know? And I love that you do that, dude. Like, you know, that's so fucking important. And right now there's a real threat to comedy generally. It's all gonna get made, you know, sanitized, made vanilla, you know.

I already did a lot of it. Yeah. You know. Yeah. So Bravo, dude. I love what you're doing, man. And I don't, and, dude, I know you can't take a fucking compliment, but I'm just trying to tell you, you know, it's important what you're doing here.

Like people aren't doing this in mainstream media. We should say just for fairness and truth. There's also a huge threat to free speech from the right. Trump is a huge threat to free speech. And the left. No, we covered the left. I'm just saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true. We covered the left. It's why I was. I was fucking we covered the left. I'm just saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. We covered the left. That's why I was. I was fucking sick of the left. It's like, you know, I've got to consider myself a progressive, but true progressives believe in freedom.

Exactly. In the freedom that we've lost in the last two years is incredible. You know, that's John Lennon's song, Jellis Guy. Yeah. Isn't that a great song? I love that. And that segway was beautiful. It started out.

We get all for that. It started out as a song he wrote in India, when they were in India, called Child of Nature. And it was about being a child of nature because they were in India, you know, India, whoo, you know, the Mahareeshian. And then it didn't get on a novel when he was with the Beatles. That was 1968. And then it reappeared the exact same melody, a completely different

subject. I'm just a jealous guy, you know. They went from childhood nature to jealous guy. Oh, that was after the Beatles. Yeah, it was a solo. Oh, yeah, because what it was before was... It was like on a second song. On the way to Rishikens. Yeah, yes. Yes, yes. That's the original.

On the road to Rishikens. That's what it was. And then it was like fuck, Rishikens. And then it became a jealous guy. They'd you, he just repurposed. It's a jealous guy. They just repurposed. It's a terrible guy. Because artists are like fucking crows.

You know, they build a nest by, if you get a good twig, you don't throw it away. You know, this is gonna go in here somewhere. I'm sure you're like that. I'm sure when you like do your acting studies where you're studying real life and getting like things for your characters that you've played, your movies. You're like studying people all the time.

You're studying me right now. It's how you are. I really am, dude. You're like a great fucking car salesman, man. Like, you can sell any car on the lot. But like, you can fix things on the wet, the guy's willing to pay. You'll sell it. If they collect little bits for their art, So any car on the lot, it's like your kids on the wet, the guys willing to pay.

You'll sell it. If they collect little bits for their art, whether it's your music, you know, he knew he had this great melody and he wasn't gonna throw it away and he's gonna, I'm sure you do the same thing. Anyway, your friends are gonna be here. There's a fog away.

I like that segue. There's a fog upon LA. Your friends have going to be here. There's a fog. I like that segue. There's a fog upon LA. Your friends have lost their way. They will be over soon, they said. Now they've lost themselves instead. I told them, please don't be long. Don't be very, very long for I may be asleep. You don't know what that song?

Blue J way. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right, yo, yeah, we gotta go. All right. Thank you so much. Oh, she's doing okay. You're so conscious.

I guess. Okay. Render. Thank you for. I did. Everything. Can't this go on one more? Yes, we're gonna stay here for like hours

and do exactly what we just were doing. No, it's a camera. It's like, you know, I love it. I know you love it. No, you don't. I just don't.