Coffeez with Joe Shalaby - How a Homeless Dropout Built 8-Figures Without Burning Out

Episode Date: October 24, 2025

Stephen Scoggins went from sleeping in a borrowed car to building multiple 8-figure companies. But here's what most people don't tell you: he almost lost everything after the exit.In this episode, Stephen reveals the framework that took him from broke to 8-figures—and then taught him how to actually KEEP the money, the health, and the sanity.You'll discover:✅ The exact mindset shift that separated him from other entrepreneurs (it's not motivation)✅ How to scale without self-destructing (the "Lion & Lamb" principle)✅ Why slowing down is your biggest competitive advantage in business✅ The spiritual framework behind sustainable success (not just hype)✅ How pride and ego tank deals—and how to spot it before it costs you millions✅ The exit strategy nobody teaches: what to do AFTER you winThis is for founders, sales leaders, and entrepreneurs who are tired of the grind-at-all-costs mentality. Stephen breaks down how stillness, faith, and intentional leadership become your unfair advantage.If you've built something but lost yourself in the process—or you're about to—this conversation will reset your entire approach.Top producers at E Mortgage Capital are earning more per deal—with faster closings, better tech, and no junk fees.👉 Learn more: https://join.emortgagecapital.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Pretty much everything. This guy's had multiple exits, big time entrepreneur, and somebody who is here to inspire the world. Please welcome Steven Skoggins. Dude, are you kidding? Yeah, of course I would, man. We had that awesome vibe of you on my show, man. I was like, dude, I got to get down to Cali.

Welcome to another episode of coffees. Dude, I'm so stoked that you're here, that you flew in. Steven, you look like a very fit dude. I like to ask everybody the same question. What's your morning routine? morning routine is actually fairly boring. Actually, it's not for me. So one of the things I discovered while building businesses is when you start as an entrepreneur,

one of things you do is you wake up with anxious energy and you feel like if you're not ticking ice, you just stumble everywhere. And what I realize is how I started my day was how I did my day and finished my day. So if I started off with a bunch of anxious energy and all kinds of stuff, that would be the day, the day would be gone and be like, what the hell just happened in my day? Right. So I actually start off with what I refer to as a presence practice.

So I wake up 5.36 in the morning, most mornings. Before I even get out of bed, I say a mantra to myself four times. I'm healthy. I am wealthy. I am wise. I'm a steward of the most high. And probably the most important one was the most difficult one for me to save for as long as I did was, I love you, Stephen. And one of the things that came out of that is I realized that even when I was building

businesses, I was actually chasing worth and not necessarily. trying to build legacy. So it was a big shift there. From there, I go into a bit of a, I go out in the lake, because my house is on the lake, Lake Norman, and I'll walk the grass for a half hour. And out there, I'm just, I'm just like slowing things down. Because what I've discovered is after the exit, I wish I'd known this decade earlier, if I could slow things down in my morning, I could actually accelerate things in my business. And that was one of the big takeaways. So the presence practice starts there. occasionally I did a journaling practice for six months that was really really cool

it's called what I hear you say is so I would just go sit down in a quiet and pull a pen out write that sentence at the top of the thing with a question mark and I would just sit there and listen sometimes it was a minute sometimes it was 10 sometimes it was 30 seconds but I would start one word and the next word form itself and before long I'd have a whole page and some of the newest ideas the concepts we talked about a lot about AI and stuff like that when you were on my show and a lot of the really cool things that are kind of starting to take shape now actually came out of those moments. And what I've discovered is some of the best, best advice, the best insights, the best steps for

your business, the best steps for clarity and just like feeling more aligned. And dude, all of it starts right there. And then I hit the gym. So that's my morning routine. Man, that's pretty, pretty robust morning routine. I mean, you know, when was your exit from your company? Late 2023. 2023.

Yeah, started 1998 from the trash piles of construction site. Oh, we're going to dive into that. sleeping in a bar friend's car and then 25 years later it was an overnight success. I love that. And then you got bored. Yeah, I got bored. Yeah. And then you figured out,

you know, I'm going to start another company. Yeah. Almost, immediately. It's funny. We were talking off air a little about my girlfriend. And one of the things she asked me,

she says, how did you celebrate? Like, how'd you celebrate when you exited your company? I was like, uh, I tried to take three weeks off when I said, and I used the word tried.

Yeah. Um, but I pretty much started building the next thing almost immediately. Yeah. And that's where she's leaning into about more gratitude, stuff like that. Yeah. You know, it's funny. Like, you could have an exit, but not really exit, like, which is like, you know,

the position we discuss, like, you just want to keep building, like, we're builders. Yeah. Well, the crazy part is if you haven't, if you have an exit without a, what I refer to as a transformational transition strategy, what happens is, is all the worth, everything you've ever felt about yourself, all of it's tied directly to that business. Yeah. So you exit and all of a sudden you have a bit like an identity crisis. It's like, who am I?

Why am I here? What am I doing? What am I doing about it? Because every day you woke up and you were attacking that thing every day. You know, we were talking about, you know, having relationships with clients and then, you know, trying to, you know, feed a family. And, you know, we both have kids and, you know, just trying to figure that stuff out, right? So it's interesting that I was, I'll share this with you. One of the things that people don't talk enough about, in my opinion, this is.

is a big one, is what happens when you get, quote, unquote, the success that you think you always wanted and you realize you're still empty. Yeah. And that's where I was in late 2023. I mean, I, in early 24, I mean, I, just like sitting on top of a mountain in Utah in a beautiful home that was basically paid for. And, like, could travel, had resource, had time. And I wasn't happy, you know, so.

What do you think was the shift? Was it mental? Was it physical? Was it spiritual for you? Dude, it was like all of it. You know, I'm a person of faith in general. Like, that's my audience knows that. Most people that know me closely know that.

I don't flaunt it. I don't put it in people's face and all kinds of stuff. But I had a bit of a spiritual encounter before I started the company. And I kind of alluded to the fact about the journal piece, by the hey, man, this journal thing is like dialed in. You know, this is where I'm getting a lot of this essence. What I've discovered is is all of my greatest moments of growth. came after my greatest moments of suffering or pain.

So ending of a relationship I didn't expect, you know, a year or so ago. I thought I was going to get engaged in the whole deal. And it really exploded in my face right after that. I wasn't expecting it. So everything that I had kind of anchored to was uprooted again. But out of that, we start breaking free from like things like what I refer to as the self-abandonment cycle or rescuing program. I was very fortunate to my girlfriend now is she's a very successful entrepreneur in her own right.

So I know she's in it for me. Like she's not trying to gain anything or gain the system kind of thing. As a result, a lot of that becomes spiritual under pressure. So what I've tried to do with my life specifically is I try to run to my faith at times of crisis rather than make it, let it be the last thing that I show up for. You know, one of the things I'm passionate about. And this is, I tell you what, this, this came out of that. So 2017, I did a live event called Transfam You Live in, in the Raleigh area, which was where I'm originally from. Um, had a modest showing. I had some, I had some great thought leaders. Some of them are actually still living in the area

and the California area. Um, come out. We did an event. Some of our hybrid because it was just right after COVID. And I sat on stage at the top of my lungs. And this is a way you just lose yourself. I know you speak to. So you, sometimes you just lose where you're at. Lose your at in a good way. You're like you're in flow. Right. It's like it's like something else is talking through you, right? I utter these words, if you're going to be successful at life or anything, you have to become one part line and one part lamb. What's crazy about that is that was the first and last time I said that until about six months ago. Now that's becoming the entire essence of everything I stand on. How I lead people, how I have relationships, how I build businesses, how I develop myself, how I try to

develop my, you know, my kids and now believe you're not, grandkids, I'm almost 50. It's like, what is the balance, right? Because if you're, if you're building a life or a business and you're all one or the other, then you're out of balance. So if you're all lying, you're dominant, you're controlling, your weight, just an over-assertive, right? You're leading, but you're leading typically from insecurity or fear, right? Other side, if you're all lamb, well, you're people please, you're getting pushed

over, you're getting stepped on, you're not speaking up for yourself, you're self-abandoning. the balance, the paradigm, if you have a giant pendulum, right, is this concept of being aligned. Well, you only get aligned by actually truly knowing yourself. So I had to do a lot of inside work before now I get to do the outside work. It was a whole lot of fun. But, you know, when you're balanced, the line is bold, courageous, enduring, protective, and you can just feel the presence, right? The lamb is empathetic, right?

It has emotional stability, emotional regulation, emotional control. So when you say what was the greatest shift, I actually would say in today's words, it was learning that I had to also become one part line and one part lamb, which is something my grandfather said, gosh, a decade ago. It's hard for guys like you and me to be a lamb. Yeah, it is. It is. And it's a tough pill of swallow.

Let's talk about, you know, you went from homelessness to building eight, a multiple eight figure companies. not just one. What did rock bottom actually look like for you? And how did you say that at rock bottom? Yeah, well, I'll say this much. So I didn't build those companies overnight, first of all. I had a lot of growth process. So I don't have a high school background. I didn't finish high school. I dropped out early to help family pay the bills at the time. My decision. I was just tired of the lights getting cut off and the water being cold and whatever. I was given an opportunity by my first mentor to build a company. He bought,

me everything, did everything for me. I made a bunch of money really fast. And before long, I got cocky, I got arrogant, I got involved with the wrong person. Next thing you know, a year later, I'm a little kicking dirt and looking at the stars and not living my best life. What was really interesting about that is the company that I sold in 2020, late 2023, was the company I founded after a bit of a divine encounter almost ending my life. I told you that I'm here for one of the things I'm actually here for is a promise to live conference. That's one of the speakers there. You want to do that phase recently?

Suicidal. Well, no, that was a couple of decades ago. That was before I started the company, that particular thing. However, I have had to confront my shadow side many times. Right. And here's the crazy part. Most of us resist the shadow side rather than learning to embrace and love the shadow side because then you get integration.

And then you get grounded. You're present. You're ready to rock and roll. But in the grand scheme of things, I became, when people say, how did you become homeless? I was pride and arrogance. at the end of the day, it's pride in arrogance all day long. It was dumb. It was foolish.

I was an idiot. And when you say, how did I go and build several companies, you know, some of them were doing, you know, upwards close to nine figures and top of annual revenue and all this kind of stuff, I've really had to sit with that. I've really had to sit with that. You know, because I can give you the cliche answer. Oh, I want to build an amazing team, which we did. But I also struggled to build an amazing team.

with my own leadership style for a long time, right? Oh, we just out-served the marketplace. We did, but that's not the truth, right? They say the businesses fail for a variety of different reasons. Top five are typically lack of sales, lack of leadership, lack of market penetration, poor product placement, so on and so forth. I've discovered it's a lot simpler than that.

This is one of the things that I've been beating like a drum for like the last two months is I believe there's five constraints in building a company, yourself. They control your behavior. They influence your behavior more than anything else. They are the very thing that when you get, when you make a bad decision that you weren't expecting to make and you go, why did I, I know better? Why did I do that? These things are the things that are at play. The first one is arrogance. It's getting super confident, super cocky, where you're at and like not realizing that next year might not be the same as this year, right?

It's the hardest thing I deal with when I'm recruiting new people to come to a company. It's arrogant. pride, ego. Yeah. Well, and the crazy part about it is, is typically if you have a strong ego and you're strong, a strong arrogance piece, you're actually masking a massive insecurity. Right. You speak up to be louder than everybody yelled so you can kind of like somehow put yourself ahead. It's just, it's a weird vibe.

And everybody sees it but you. Like when I was in that season, everybody saw it but me. I thought I was doing X, Y, and Z for X, Y, and Z reason. and I realize that people judge us by our actions, we always judge ourselves by our intentions. So that was a huge thing. But the polar opposite of arrogance, right, is honestly humility. And there's, and everyone, I believe everyone will go through a humbling. Either it's by choice, meaning you're choosing to look at your blind spots,

look at the areas that you need to improve or can't approve. You're at a place where you're trying to become more self-aware, or life is going to smack you with it. at some point in time, right? And again, I've got friends. I've had clients that are seven, eight figure earners, all kinds of stuff. And their biggest moments of transition and difficulty had nothing to do with money.

They had money. It was identity. It was worth, right? You know, so then you look at the second constraint, right, which is ignorance, right? You don't know what you don't know. You're telling you think you know what you don't know. Or you're unwilling to look at for what you don't know. Yeah.

Right? So, you know, we've, we've been very fortunate in business and done some cool things, but I've also been very stupid in business. Still am sometimes. Yeah, I mean, dude, I've, I do stupid with dollar signs. Like, and I'm trying really hard not to do that stuff anymore. You know, I've had, I'll use this word, suspected embezzlement about $1.7 million in the early, well, the early mid-2000s. I have bought stuff I shouldn't have bought. I have invested money in places I shouldn't have invested.

I have not listened to wise counsel, right? And so it's like, that's a combination of ignorance and arrogance, right? You know, so how do you get, how do you, how do you get overcome ignorance? It's teachability. You have to be willing to humble yourself to learn from people who have the character qualities that you admire, but are also doing the things that you want to do. And when you dig into that, you can like really build something amazing. The third one, I think is probably the one that we all deal with.

I call it impatience, right? So I, you and I, you know, I joked about the. I'm going on my show a little bit, but I was at an event. I can't remember how many. It was several months ago. It was a long time ago. And I was given the opportunity to speak to the group a little bit. So I said, by show of hands.

Everybody raise your hand, right? I said, by show of hands, who in this room feels like you should be further ahead than you actually are? And dude, every single hand went up. It was, it wasn't even like 99%. It was every stinking hand, right? And it's because we're impatient. We want it now. We want it now.

We want it now. We want it now. you know, I know you've got some really cool projects that you're working on. We talked about a little bit off air. I'm sure part of you's like, I just want to see it finish now. Like, I want to go ahead and jump into it. Yeah, I mean, like, let's get it rolling. But that's the kind of mindset I am.

It's like, I'm launching. Mm-hmm. Like, we went in, we're launching. Yeah. Saw the vision. And boom, let's roll. Yeah. So what do you think the opposite or the antidote to impatience is out of curiosity?

What do you think it is? That's a really tough question. Because the antidote to impatience is. is really humility. It's definitely tied to it. I would say from my definition would be its presence. And the reason I think it's presence is because presence, it forces you to be in the moment now.

And if you're in the moment now, you're going to be taking actions and making decisions based on a strategy rather than reactivity. See, I was actually coaching an entrepreneur literally on the airplane on the way here. and they're awesome. They got a massive heart. They have the ability to build a good size business.

They love their team. They love their family. They're just good people, right? At the same time, I'm laying out a strategy. I'm like, hey, this is the strategy that we need to execute on to get you from here to here. And we start building out the strategy. Well, four steps into the strategy. Like, well, can we just skip step five?

Please. No, just give me step five. Just give me stuff. I'll take care of step five for you. I'm like, no, I'm not going to give you step five. We're going to follow the strategy. And the reason I'm doing that is because I'm forcing every entrepreneur that we work with to be present.

Right. Yes, make a one-year goal, right? We want to increase revenue by X. We want to build this kind of team. We want to have this new building. We want to do this. We want to do it. And have the goal.

But if you're not taking a daily strategy step towards that goal, every stinking day and you're just always chasing this new show, tiny thing, you're never going to build a sizable, scalable business. Yeah. You know? Yeah, I think that's the problem and the failure of every entrepreneur is that the impatience and their lack of being present in the moment because everybody's worried about success now.

Yeah. But what people fail to enjoy is the process. Yeah. And Gary Vee said this, like, that's what he attributes his success to all the time. I love the process. Yeah. I love the process. I've learned to fall in love with the process.

I haven't quite got to Gary's standard yet. Yeah, but I'm starting to kind of embrace that. And I think with like my next couple ventures, like it's just because you don't, I love the process now because I don't need to do it. Yeah. So it's easy to love the process. That's very true. That's very true. Like I love this process.

Like it's fun. Like the game is cool. You know, like I'm over here thinking like my next venture is like, oh. how am I going to get my kids involved? Like this would be something they could get behind you. Yeah. You know, it's really, that actually makes me think of something really interesting.

One of the things that kind of coincides with impatience and what you just described is what I refer to as you're so lost in your fear, which is actually one of the other constraints, meaning that you're starting to dilute your focus. Like you're, what's the best way I explain? Fear is the biggest constraint. It's massive.

Because an entrepreneur, his backs against the wall. Yeah. Well, here's the crazy part. It's not a successful entrepreneur. Here's the crazy part. One of our mutual friends, Glenn Stearns, he's always talking about abundance. Right? He's easy for him to talk about abundance. I know, but he's also, if you know his story, it's not like he didn't walk into it.

No, he didn't. But like, he's been pretty successful for a long time. Yeah, for sure. So here's where I was going with that. The word scarcity. I found, I found, that's my southern boy coming out right now in North Carolina. I found that if I operate in scarcity, I make dumb decisions. In other words, I'm going to try to solve an immediate problem that feels uncomfortable in my soul right now,

rather than saying, okay, how is this going to affect me financially, relationally, marketplace, legally, et cetera. And that's what I'm trying to help entrepreneurs understand to get into presence. You have to slow things down. right so that's why I start my day the way I start my day because without that I'm going like every entrepreneur on the planet I'm still getting after it I'm still like putting the phone up doing the deals doing the emails investing in this AI thing and doing that and doing this and you lose fulfillment when you're operating in what I refer to as wholesale the traditional hustle culture which is anxious

energy just thrown at a wall waking up at 4 a.m. just to wake up at 4 a.m. because somebody you watched online says wake up at 4 a.m. and that's how you're going to become successful. What if you slept till 5.30, you got a good night's rest. So your brain is actually fed with oxygen and rest, right, and then made intentional decisions. You're some sense. So it's a, it's a different type of philosophy that I'm trying to help people understand with the, with the one part line, one part lamb integration method. It's about becoming the authentic you. The authentic you, I believe it or not, is the magnetic you. You've had a lot of success on social media. You've had a lot of success in business. You got a lot of success in the marketplace.

Right? The crazy part is, is the more you continue on your own journey of like becoming more and more authentic, the more and more it's going to think, the bigger it's going to get over and over again. You know, these types of things are like super important. And people, I think they just, they, they get so focused on trying to solve the immediate problem in their life that they'll sell their soul for a bowl of porridge, which is a Bible reference from Esau. So there's a character in the Bible named Jacob who ended becoming the nation of Israel. Okay. And obviously

that's a huge nation. Jewish Jewish people, Christian people everywhere is basically out of this lineage. But he was not the, Esau was not the firstborn. Yeah. Right? I'm sorry. Esau was the firstborn. Jacob was not the first born. The firstborn, the inheritance was supposed to go to Esau.

But Esau gave his inheritance away because he was hungry in the moment. So he gives his entire legacy, his entire inheritance. to Jacob, and Jacob goes and builds a nation with it long term. You see what I'm saying? Like, if we get so wrapped up and trying to get this one problem solved in this very moment now, a lot of times we're not thinking like, where is this, where is this going

to affect me a year from now, two years from now, three years from now, five years from now, right? Where's my heart at in this, that kind of thing? So anyway, I'll give you the last two because we've already bounced around them just to make sure I do that for your audience, so they don't get mad at both of us. is the last year is insecurity and fear. So at my worst leading companies, I led from place of insecurity, right?

I'd had no high school diploma, had no college background, and here I was building a multimillion dollar organization from sheer will and hope and faith. Like, I'm just building it, right? And then I get to about $20 million in top line revenue, and then I realize, holy crap, this thing is way outside of my control.

I don't know how I'm leading I was hiring I was hiring great people people that had CPA and MBA and all these different acronyms behind their names and all this cool stuff like you get you know so but they would come to give me a great idea and I would shut the sucker down because it wasn't my idea which is there's the arrogance again why was I doing that because I was insecure I felt like that if I wasn't my idea that was the only thing I was bringing to the table which wasn't true obviously I built a business where they got there at the same time if you suppress your superstars they will leave. And if you're going to build

a scalable organization so you can actually have the freedoms that we now get to enjoy, like you have to have a team that's like, for lack of better word, they're kind of ride or die with you. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, I mean, that's evident in my company here. People that have worked for me here and been with me for three companies. Oh, yeah. 20 years. I watched them walk over and give you a big hug.

Yeah. Believe or not, that one little thing tells me a lot about culture. Yeah. Culture is everything. Mm-hmm. You know,

just building a company where, like I was just telling one of my director of marketing it's like I'm gonna build a company like just because I I mean the guy who puts on my podcast um you know because I want to see more success more abundance for you yeah like because like me just having you work hourly yeah that's not fair to you like that I think I could create something around you that can allow you know you can create entrepreneurs yeah yeah because that's that's what it's about it's like God gave me these resources and abilities and the ability to bless others and you know the

My favorite thing to do is to bless people who serve the Lord. Because I know what they're going to do with the money. I know what they're going to do with their heart. I know that they're going to do with their talents. Yeah. So it's a fortunate place that we're in, especially because we can identify the talent that loves and seeks the Lord. You know, it's really interesting.

I'm glad you brought that up. Here's a thought. I got this question one time I was at another event. And somebody says, hey, what's the difference? You're seven-figure entrepreneur and an eight-figure entrepreneur. and right your knee-jerk reaction was was money but it's it's the same thing that happened when it's not money right it's not even it's not even it's funny my my first mentor the guy that gave me a second chance I didn't deserve he he always told me the answer is

always the way you think right so there's truth in that too even if I'm about the share but the other thing that came from that was seven-figure entrepreneurs are always looking to earn they're just earning earning earning earning earning earning earning earning earning earning eight figure and beyond are looking to compound. How do I make this one hour time turn into four? How do I make this one dollar turn into a hundred? How do I make this one relationship turn into six? Yeah, that's why I podcast.

That's why I create content. Yeah. Because I have, I generate three to four hundred thousand views a day, minimum. And it's like, where else can I do that? Yeah, that's right. That's right. I can't go talk to an individual. It's one to one.

Yeah. Talk three, four hundred thousand people a day, much easier. Yeah, for sure. sit in front of a camera all day. Yeah. It's much easier to reach an audience. Well, and that and, you know, if you, if they say you attract who you are. So if there's, you know, but I've experienced you attract who you are, but historically,

if you're attracting people you're going to serve, they're like three levels behind where you were. So like three years behind you. Yeah. Right. So whatever insight you're offering, it's like you three years ago. One of the things I've, that I used to say from stage all the time, but I don't say it as much anymore because it's said in 10 different ways by 10 different people and whatever, was is the greatest purpose in life you ever have is serving the person you used to be. But it's all the versions of yourself, right?

The reason I create content, right? Because I remember being the scared entrepreneur. I remember trying to make payroll. I remember having to fire somebody that I wasn't sure was going to take it very well or fire somebody. I didn't want to fire. In California, nobody takes so well. Everybody goes and seeks unemployment in the lawsuit right after. Jeez.

We have to look at your exit program. If you're in California, and your entrepreneur, don't fire them. Well, so much for talking to me and to come moving to California. They make it tough here. Yeah, yeah. But we work our way around. You know, we outsource a lot.

Yeah. Why, you build a good business. This company has thousands and thousands of people, but, you know, headquarters is X amount of people. Yeah. But, you know, we're independent contractors nationwide. And then however many people overseas. Yeah.

Which is like, I can keep scaling. As long as you have the process, the systems, the culture, and an integrated leader, you can scale any damn thing. That's right. Anything. Right. I try to be super integrated.

I'm in the weeds. Yeah. I'm in the weeds with my team. Now, let me ask you, you know, you went through a lot of pain. When do you think your pain turned into your calling? I think it's always turning into my calling. If I'm being honest, like if you're really serving the person used to be and that you've done that numerous times, I believe in something called Life Gates.

You ever heard the term Life Gates before? No. So there's a book. by written by name my guy by name of tom patterson's he created something called life life plan so if you did lifeplan.com you'd find it he's he's either passed away or he's in his 90s like he's he's an older guy he's one of the i guess co-inventors of the ATM machine that's how long he's been around he's a person of faith and he taught a principal called the called the four domains which is like spiritual financial emotional relationship um he's the one that i borrowed him and a good friend of my

Chris LaCurdow, I borrowed a term. He called him the four helpfuls. People call it different things. I call it the questions of discernment. So anytime you're confused about what to do, you just sit down on a paper and pen and you basically ask four questions, right? About anything in life. What's right?

What's wrong? What's confusing and what's missing? And out of that, if you spend enough time to you will get clarity just by that one exercise. It may not give you the exact next step, but it's going to say, oh, I need to aim over here, right? I say all that to say that he taught this principle called Lifegate. So when we are growing up, there's a first moment we take our first step. There's a first moment we ride our first bike. There's a first moment we kiss our first partner, right?

There's all these different first, right? Those are considerably life gates. And unfortunately, in my case, there was the first time I got married. That was the first time I got divorced. I was like, you know, that kind of thing, right? Not so every, not every life gate is great. But what the life. Some of those life gates are really tough.

Yeah, it's like super tough, right? Man, I felt like getting beat with my arm ripped off and hit me with it. Yeah, that was fun. Anyway, let's move on. I don't want to go back down that memory journey too far. But LifeGates are the crucible moments in which everything changes. Either you gain insight, self-worth, identity, all this kinds of stuff as a byproduct of that good event or the not-so-good event. Or you go deeper into victimhood, self-loathing, self-esteem issues, etc.

So that's why I believe I'm always becoming the calling. The only difference is what's getting clearer for me is it's becoming increasingly more aware that the people that I tend to coach and mentor and lead, the crazy part is they're already leaders. They're already leading organizations that are 100 people, 200 people, seven figures, eight figures. And they're just like, dude, how, like, I mean, they respect what I what I've built outside of this arena. I respect what they built inside of their current arena or a prior arena. But the core difference is, is like, when we're working one-on-one, it's like, we need to get you happy. Yeah. Because here's the thing.

I was a good, in fact, I got another guy when I interested in a guy named Troy Hoffman, you have on your show. He helps entrepreneurs, like, get ready to sell an exit. He's an amazing guy. You'd love him to death. Maybe you guys already know each other. Maybe you guys already know each other. You're in Orange County? No, I think he's based in Puerto Rico now.

Okay. But I think he spent some time in Cali. he's just a great guy but he and I were talking in an event recently and he's like hey what do you do for the first time of my life this actually shook out so this is again we're we're cleared he can happen just by paying attention right he goes what do you do i said honestly i hope uh great leaders find their meaning after they've made a bunch of money that's a great think about it yeah you know and man's quest for meaning is something that we all are always on and i realize like it's very easy to find your meaning

if you're rooted in the Lord. Yeah. Period. Yeah. From there, he just directs you. Yeah. Inherit worth. Yeah.

But yeah, we like to look outside of ourselves for it. Yeah, and now, exactly. And I think someone, actually was one of my videographers, he's like, you know, you're seeking the, you have influencer syndrome. So right now I have like validation issues. You know, like divorced. Yeah. You know, now it's like, I just want, you know, lots of attention from the opposite sex.

Like, and if I do not get you that, I'm like, what's going on? Like, at least you're transparent and honest with him. That's good. Like, what you see is what you get. Yeah. I'm like, you know, so it's like, and it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I'm, it's, all right? So as your brother, here's where I'd push a little bit.

I would say, okay, why is it, why is the, why is it more activity rather than more, like, stillness? Yeah. Maybe it's more about stillness than activity. Because as achievers, and I'm, the reason I say this as a brother's, because this is, dude, this is me all day long until I learned this new method literally the last year and a half. I spent my entire life chasing, earning. earning validation, earning appreciation, earning the need to be seen, be heard, be valued, be appreciated.

And I self-abandoned, I self-sacrifice, I was always on go, I was always striving. And do that, you self-sabotage. Oh, yeah, a thousand times. A thousand times. It wasn't until I started being still that I started actually feeling what we refer to as the presence of the Lord, or the Lord being the Holy Spirit working inside of us, or, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't feel it. Be still.

Do you sit and pray and meditate? I mean, I try to be still. I try to pray. You're not going to like my answer. You're not going to like my answer. No, nothing good for you. You like. So I'll tell you this.

The last major life gate I've gone through. Keep in mind, my life's not over. So there's, there's a chance that I'll go through a couple more. I hope not. But the last major life gate I went through was forcing my, myself to be present and steal. Like literally, like, which is why I start off with the mantra every morning. I try to make it slow.

I try not to get up and rush out the door or whatever. If I need to get up, like, if I need to get up an hour early to make sure I get that practice in place before I go conquer something. Like, I did it this morning before I jumped on an airplane at 4 a.m. Right? Because, you know, to get here in time for the podcast, flying from the East Coast, it's a, you know, five, six hour flight, depending on how the, winds are, right? You know, I still did my mantra this morning. I still went outside and walked on

the grass, even in the dark. And it's just a moment to hear the wind. So here's, here's, here's the way in which I was able to get to a place where in which I would, I could, I could find still a struggle for me. I don't have it, I don't have it all figured out. Because my natural, my natural predisposition is go mode. Like, I can build a business with the best of them, right? No, no, I mean, I just try to even just do a morning routine of stretching and, and, and playing the Bible. And that's something, I'll get that done two, three days a week.

But if I do that every day, seven days a week, oh, man, I'm on fire. I'll tell you what. So as your brother, all right, here's what I, here's what I recommend you just try for 30 days. And then, and then just send me a quick call

or quick text. Let me out, let me out shakes out, because it changed the game from me. It goes all the back to the beginning of the show. I went to grab a journal. I want you to be in quiet. And the very first thing you do out of you get out of bed,

if you do some gratitude practice or something like that, this comes after that. But go find a quiet place in the house that feels peaceful to you and do that journaling process. What I hear you say is and just sit there for 15 or 20 minutes. Have a time.

Take your phone. Turn the time clock on. Put it where you can hear it, but it's nowhere where you can check it. I have journaling practice too. Yeah. It's a gratitude journal. And when I do that,

but everything is like, oh, I need to do that. Or I need to stretch. But then I have this whole vitamin stack sequence. And then it's like my protein is like then it's like red light therapy. It's like this. If I don't get

one hour to do all this and I only get 15 minutes and I'm going to prioritize the vitamins and the stuff that has to get done. You know, I just, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm asking you to stretch, man. Stretches. No, not stretch. Not physically stretched. Stretch. Mentally, stretch, emotionally, stretch spiritually. Yeah. I'm, one of the things that came out of one of those journaling sessions was, and this is something that I feel like God was telling me. Describe or do you just do a gratitude journal? No, I wait until I don't do any. I write. What I hear you say is, and I sit there with ink. until I hear like something's coming from heaven and then I start writing right the first time I did it

it happened super quick because I was going through a transition so it was like something there was stuff to be over like kind of out then there was times I was though I would sit there for 10 minutes and nothing would come and then I'd write the one word and then the next word would form itself and then I would go back and like it was like all my all of my things that I think is chaos in my life that I'm trying to solve literally would come out of that journaling practice what I hear you say is what I hear you say is which means what I hear you say is, which means we shut up, we stop, we stop the anxious activity, and we listen with intention. The very first time I did that was after that major transition I told you about before. Good buddy mine, Henry Amar taught, he's the one that taught me how to do it.

It's like it's a quick, six minute meditation, quiet, like music, come out of it and just write, just free write, right? And I had some really cool stuff all that. So I did that same practice like a week later and in the middle of a storm so to speak and i get to the bottom i get to the bottom of the page and i'm like poured my hat on on paper to god right and in the bottom of the page i'm like if you have anything to share with me please share it now i changed the font color to blue and then i could not stop typing quick enough and that became what i hear you say is journalingly practiced i began to do with a ink pen and a pad and if i showed you what it said even today it would blow your mind. Because it's a very distinct voice difference. And I'm not talking about channeling spirits.

I'm talking about letting the spirit talk to you. Because in that same blue document, it says this one really cool thing. It says, I am always talking, but my children are seldom listening. I trust you to listen. What if the other side of what's missing or what's confusing is simply what's listening, not listening to or listening. It's incredible. And I can only imagine that I'm sure that's what the, the apostles and all the saints that wrote the Bible. That's what they said.

Pray in the spirit. Dude, praying the spirit. You know, sometimes people think it's talking in tongues. It may be. But I think praying in the spirit has more to do with listening. Because you're,

you're, go to, go to Daniel, right? So Daniel goes into, uh, goes to go pray. And he's praying for essentially a rescue.

Right? And he's sitting there and he, they say he's beseeched before the Lord. Right? So he's there. He's sitting and quiet. He has he's already shared David. Same thing. He's already shared all the tears he can share shed. He's done all he can do. He's repented. He's done everything he knows how to do. And it's not until he stops doing and starts listening that God starts speaking. Why is it any different for David, for Jacob, for Noah, literally for Jesus? Like, that's what the reason. I believe that's why Jesus went off by himself all the time. So he could hear. which is why he heard so clearly. You know, so that's, I don't know, it's, I just, I really feel like it's a missing piece. I feel like in, because we don't slow down to do practices like that, all we have is chaos. We're constantly chasing chaos.

We're chasing that creates chaos. We're chasing that creates chaos. We, we call in the wrong types of things in our life because we're chasing chaos. We're chasing activity. I'm telling you, my, my, my spirit. is more grounded now than it has ever been in my entire life. And it's all because of that stillness.

It's all about sitting still, doing the journaling practice. You know, we kind of talked at the beginning of the show about the girlfriend that I have who does not like being in the public eye, so I don't do a lot of shoutouts for that. But one of the things that she does that I thought was really cool when I met her,

was she already does her own stillness. stuff like when I was going through something or whatever she's say I would say hey look I'm going to go I'm going to go ground which is another no another ground is nothing more than a code work to go be present still I'm going to go put my feet on the grass I'm going to go sit in silence I'm going to go try to get this anxious energy out of me sometimes I'll like go ah and just shake it out right there were times when she's had a couple things going but she's like I need to go for a walk I'm like okay cool it's it's there are different forms of being still they're different forms. It's not necessarily the body has to be still, but the mind and the

spirit have to be still. So the easiest way to do that is to do the journaling practice, one, and two, later today, maybe sometime, this is for everybody watching and listening. Go out, California is beautiful, dude. This place has the most unbelievable weather. We pay a weather tax. I know you pay weather tax. And we deal with a political climate that's also on the way. So, you know, we better embrace the weather. Well, so here's the thing. Let's go enjoy the weather. So go outside, take your feet, take your shoes off, put your feet on the grass, and then just pay attention to listening to the wind blow.

I can watch the, I can watch the palm tree right outside of that window right there. It's just, you've learned to be still. I have not. Well, that's just why I'm your brother and I'm saying, hey, bro, follow me this way. You can still have it all, but you can also, you can have that and meaning and peace. Yeah, yeah. What is it all without peace? Nothing. Mm-hmm. You know, what is it all without God? Nothing. Yeah. Well, you know, the Bible talks about, um,

What a good is it to gain the whole world and lose your own self or soul in the process? Yeah. Nothing. It's worth us. But that's what we do is humanity. We just strive and strive and strive and strive and strive. And what I'm saying, hey, look, strive, go do all you can do. Have a beautiful life.

Try to see how far you can go. Don't let anybody else's label on, like, come on you that you feel like whatever. But go ahead and if you want to tithe something, you have no money, tie your spirit. Like, just be still. The other thing I was going to mention to you before that you shared, I'll try to shut up. You just got me all fired up, man. I love hanging out with you. You mentioned something about obviously having been through a divorce, right?

Yeah. So here's what I decided to do. I decided to not wear any labels anymore. I just decided. What's that mean? You're not divorced. Well, I mean, I got divorced. A divorce occurred.

A divorce happened. Yeah. But that doesn't make me necessarily a divorce. Yeah, exactly. If I take that identity. then what will happen is every relationship that I have coming in my way, right? I'm likely to sabotage because I'm going into the relationship with a sense of insecurity and low self-worth because of an event. And let's just face it, very seldom can happen, but very seldom is that one person's responsibility while a marriage will end.

There's lots of little slices and cuts along the way. Yeah. Harsh words, silent moments. Exactly. So it's like, if I wish my former spouse well, like, and I genuinely like, hey, look, I hope life gets really good for you, right? If I can get to that place and I'm really wishing that, then why am I going to wear my label as if I've, like a fear of shame?

The whole reason Jesus came was to help us with the things that we screw up. The whole reason he came was because we, he knew that we were human. such a way that we legitimately don't have the self-control and the discipline to turn every single evil thing away from our life. We really don't. No, we don't. But what we do have is we have the ability to integrate and have connection as you integrate the things that you want chased to fill a void, you no longer chase to fill the void.

And now the void can be filled by the thing it's supposed to be filled by, which is in my case, your case, Jesus and Holy Spirit. And then you don't worry about self-worth anymore. Like, I don't have to prove it. And this is just being honest, I used to spend my entire life trying to prove. Here's a cool thing. Technically, on paper, I've already done the impossible. I ain't got a damn thing to prove anybody.

Not a damn thing. And I'm just being honest. Like, I'm out here trying to help people and serve people because I want to. I want people to have fulfillment. I want them to have peace. I want them to have love. I want them to have joy. We're past the point of having to make money to survive.

Let me ask you a couple of things. last question. Sure. It's about goals. Yeah. Three-prong question. What's a personal goal that you have for yourself? A goal that you have for your family. And a goal that you have for unstoppable. All right. So, the goal I have for myself is

one part line, one part lamb, a leader's guide at rise, lead, and last will come out probably the mid-party next year, give or take. Already got the domain stuff. The manuscript's already done, but proposals. Thanks, bro. I can't believe you got that name. I work about the domain and everything. In fact, it's a whole brand.

A lot of the workout stuff I wear online is our logos and stuff like that. But I would like to have that book enter into a million hands. And I'm totally okay with giving the proceeds to the charity or something like that, if that's God's will. Totally okay with it. Because what's inside of those pages is what's inside of my heart. It's inside of my experiences. It's inside of everything that I've built, everything that I've done, everything I've walked through, every fire, every trial, every joy,

every blessing. And I believe, just like Steve Myrick, my first mentor, old man, Myrick gave me a second chance. I think that book will give people a second chance to live a life they were supposed to live, not the life that they were told they were supposed to live, which is a big difference. Personal go for my family. I want to be Steve Myrick to them. So what I mean by that. in short, I want to leave a legacy inside of them, not just around them. I want them to grow up and be men and women of character and honesty and want to help the world and want to do good in the world. I want them to pursue their callings.

And they don't have to make it. My oldest son is a history teacher and loves it. He wants to be a professor. My other son wants to be an entrepreneur all day long. They got different goals. Both of them can be massively successful regardless of what's in their checkbook. Right. So I want them to find their thing, find their niche. I want them be responsible.

All my wealth is going to be tied up into a trust. And that trust is going to protect who gets what and how they get it and what they have to do to get it and all the kinds of things. Because I want to make sure that, you know, that legacy on paper does in a row after the third generation, which is the average. You and I work our butts off to grow, we create something from scratch.

By the time we get to our grandchildren, a little ocean who just was born about a few months ago, actually on my girlfriend's birthday, which is kind of cool. He, in theory, well, may or may not have access to me by the time he's, you know, adult, basically, right? By the time he's eligible for trust, right? So I want there to be parameters in the trust to protect how he uses money before he can even access it.

I want to have stewardship, right? So it comes down to stewardship, legacy inside, legacy outside, and essentially the world better place. Unstoppable Solutions. My primary goal for unstoppable solutions is to, I think one, give leaders a voice that need to be heard. I'm a big believer that some of the most important voices on the planet have yet to be heard. And I'm not taking anything away from some of our friends who are very successful in thought leadership and stuff like that. They've added tremendous value and that won't stop. But these are voices that speak to a heart and not just a business concept or a strategy or a framework.

So I would say give leaders a voice. I want the content that we create to add value to the world and not subtract value from the world. I don't have to make a dollar If I serve well I probably will And that's okay But I don't have to I want the content to stand on its own two legs

You know the fact that you gave me an opportunity To hang out with you and just be this vulnerable And honest with you I can't thank you enough for You know because I'm hoping people are listening And watching and getting something from it you know bro So I think those are probably my three goals Last question When you're in front of the pearly gates

What do you think God's going to tell you God, I hope he just says good and good and faithful, well done, honestly. That's what I'm hoping to hear. It's funny, here's a dark but helpful tool that kind of plays into that. I was once asked to write my epitaph, right? So, or write your life story, right? If you were to live your best life, you write that on paper, okay? And you get all the way that done, you get now the epitaph.

I want my epitaph to say, here lies, a wonderful husband. an amazing father and also someone who set out to change the world and did and whatever capacity that has. I feel like everybody's right there every time. Mm-hmm.

God bless you, bro. I hope you hit every single one of your goals. You're a man of faith, a true servant leader. If people want to connect with you, how do they find you? First of all, thank you. I love you, man.

I really appreciate you inviting me to SoCal for this. The easiest ways to go to stevenscauggan.com. That's what a Ph. so Stephen S-E-P-H-E-N-S-C-E-N-S-C-O-G-G-N-S.com. If they are looking for more alignment in their life, they can just add a backslash or slash and write the word alignment. So, Steven Scoggins.com slash alignment.

That will take them to a tool that will help them figure out how aligned they are. And the best part is, I ain't selling you nothing. Let's go. Let's do it. Steven Skuggins, make sure you connect with them. Find them on social as well. This guy's a beast, a mentor to millions. Please check them out.

Thank you. Thanks for tuning in guys.