CreepsMcPasta Creepypasta Radio - "I won a free home makeover from a new online show. You do NOT want to view it" Creepypasta

Starting point is 00:00:01 I have exploding head syndrome. This is not caused by a microchip implanted without my knowledge or radiation leaking into my house. It is a recognised medical condition. As I'm falling asleep, I hear the deafening crack of a bullet being discharged from a firearm. A sharp, bright light flashes in front of my eyes, and I start suddenly back awake. There is no gunshot, no light, no danger to anything but my increasingly frayed nerves. It is all in my mind. I can't afford to pay some fancy medic to try and help me,

Starting point is 00:00:37 and even if I could, I'd be thrown away money. The causes and possible treatments of exploding head syndrome are stuck in the realm of speculation, all of which has left me to get on with my life as best I can. Overall, my condition is not impacted too negatively on me. I've struggled to find a lady friend who wants to sleep next to a man who jumps up suddenly at least once a night and sits there sweating and cussing.

Starting point is 00:01:05 I have been more successful in my professional life working my way to deputy manager of a small convenience store and I recently bought my first house. It is detached with a small scrap of land out back and it was just within my budget. The house needed a lot of work doing on it when I bought it. The walls were bare or peeling.

Starting point is 00:01:28 Stuffing was sticking out of the arm, the sofa like pus emerging from a lanced boil. The shower leaked, the kitchen force had spotted lukewarm water only, and when it rained heavily, a rank smell rose up out of the drains. When I made manager at the store, the hike in my wage would allow me to do the place up. Until then, I thought this was how it was going to be, and then she knocked on the door. It was early evening, and I was starting a six-pack. I ignored the gentle tapping at first

Starting point is 00:02:03 I had lost touch with my family My friends never called round And I knew none of my neighbours I really wasn't interested in being hassled by a stranger But the tapping continued And now whoever it was Was turning the volume up I went to see what the hell they wanted

Starting point is 00:02:21 Swung open the door ready to chew them out And froze She must have been over six feet tall her hair draped over her shoulders like a blonde waterfall and her eyes with the prettiest blue I had ever seen she also had some of those foxy oversized glasses front and centre on her face she was a sight a rare and wonderful vision

Starting point is 00:02:47 I hitched up my shorts ma'am I said as a gentleman would she smiled at this there were no cracks in her teeth no stains good afternoon she said My name is Misey and I'm a producer working on a new show. We are in your area today looking for members of the public to participate in our pilot episode.

Starting point is 00:03:12 I took a swig of my beer for courage, looked her straight in the eye and asked, How much? It turned out there were no dollars an offer, but what I could get was a top-to-bottom redecoration and refurbishment of my house. New wallpaper, new furniture, new fittings. The works. In return, all I needed to do was give the show's crew unlimited access to my home to film the makeover, and to let them film my reaction when I saw the transformation. Sure, I told the beautiful Misey. I could do that. She preferred to stand rather than using my sofa, so I used it to rest the contract on

Starting point is 00:03:56 while I signed it. The deal was done. I was elated. It turned out good things did drop onto your lap. You just had to be in the right place at the right time. Mises smile, meanwhile, could have been seen from space. Amazing, she said. We'll start tomorrow. She turned to leave. I silently cursed my exploding head syndrome.

Starting point is 00:04:22 Without it, maybe, just maybe, she would have spent the night with me. She hesitated. The thought flickered once more in my head. Maybe. Then she looked back and said, There's just a couple more things, very small things, if that's okay. Anything, I murmured. Amazing.

Starting point is 00:04:43 The first thing, would you be able to give me contact details for a couple of your friends? We would like to have input to the makeover to make it extra special. Of course, I nodded enthusiastically, like a jack in the box that had just sprung out into the open. I know just the boys. Amazing. And the final thing. Can I have a skin sample? When I arrived at Al's apartment an hour later,

Starting point is 00:05:14 the back of my hen was stinging like hell under the Band-Aid. Misey had explained that my skin tone and texture would be used to calculate the perfect wall coverings to be in harmony with the real me. I did not want to appear wimpy, so consented. I tried not to think about the way she'd produced a small scalpel from a shoulder bag with another perfect smile and pressed Al's buzzer. Al worked in construction when his back was not playing him up

Starting point is 00:05:41 and had the most tremendous handlebar mustache. No car was better waxed than Al's face fuzz. He welcomed me in. Tom was already there. Tom was on benefits. If he ever committed a crime, any potential witness would describe him as a woman. wearing a battered or pair of brown leather boots. Tom loved his boots, like Al loved his tash.

Starting point is 00:06:05 I was mighty fun to both of them. I shared my news with them, a bit worried at first that they would be angry I'd given their details to Misey. But I need not have worried. She had already been in touch and had already worked her charm on them. With big grins on her faces, we settled down to the game. This was Cards Night, when Tom, Alan Me, gathered around the table. a bit penny stacks, and agreed what was wrong with the world. I arrived home sometime around midnight, and drunkly wandered around my house, imagining what it would look like once it was transformed. The next day, I was pretty hazy, and had almost forgotten that Misey had told me I would be picked up after work.

Starting point is 00:06:51 When she pulled up, her hair tied back, all regal-like. The stupid, annoying things that had happened at the store that day faded into the distance. I had booked all my annual leave to begin in a couple of days, which is how long Misei had told me the makeover would take, so I could enjoy my new domestic surroundings. Perhaps invite Mizey round for a meal. I spent the car ride wanting to ask her if she preferred pizza or Chinese, but could not find the words.

Starting point is 00:07:22 She dropped me off at a hotel on the outskirts of town and went with me to make sure I got checked in okay. The production company had paid for the room and meal, There was cable, the shower had a massage setting. This was living. As I tried the bed for springiness, I told Misey that I already felt famous. She smiled a smile. You will be.

Starting point is 00:07:47 Our market research has shown there is a real demand for our type of show. Your face will be on laptops across the world. As it appeared on the face of my happiness. Laptop? I asked. My yes, she said, sitting on the bed right next to me, close enough to touch if I move my hand an inch. My heart started to beat faster. I thought to focus as she went on. The show will be available exclusively on the internet, but only for those who have subscribed.

Starting point is 00:08:17 She put a hand on my leg, looked into my eyes and said, You are part of the future of entertainment. I puckered up. She shook her head, got up and left. Time passed slow then. The hotel's luxury was sweet, but I kept wishing Misey was there to share it with me. Work annoyed me more than usual, and I ended up losing my temper and resigning on the spot. Back at the hotel, I ordered a bottle of bourbon on room service

Starting point is 00:08:50 and thought about what Mises had said about being part of the future. As the drink slipped down real easy, I saw how I could turn this one appearance into a career. I would give interviews, be invited on to chat shows. There would be a spin-off reality series just about me. This became clearer and clearer as the hotel room blurred around me. At some point, I tried phoning Al and Tom. If I couldn't have a good woman by my side, at least I could have my best buds.

Starting point is 00:09:19 But they didn't pick up. I started to fall asleep, heard a gunshot, and saw a painfully bright light when my exploding head syndrome kicked in. Sitting there, woozy with a booze, but now wide awake, I made a mental note to hire the best doctor's money could buy to find a cure for my condition. It would make a good standalone edition for my reality show. Could even be a Christmas special. This was the last thing I remember before someone knocked on my hotel room door. It was my zy.

Starting point is 00:09:54 The scent of paradise wafted against my face as I blinked, red-eyed and swallowed down and his eyes. acidic belch. Today's the day, she said brightly. The day of the big reveal. Are you ready? I smiled. Great. As she drove me back to my house, Mice explained what would happen.

Starting point is 00:10:17 When you arrive, the camera will record your every move. When you go into your house, you'll see how it has been changed. Your reaction will be online gold. I can't wait. She took her hand off the week. and squeeze my cheek. A few minutes later we arrived. Nothing on the exterior looked different. The only sign of my impending celebrity was the man standing outside my house pointing a handheld camera at me. My legs feeling wobbly I stepped out of the car and

Starting point is 00:10:48 headed towards my door. I could smell miser's perfume nearby, figured she was following me but keeping out of the camera's sight. This is it, I told myself. and stepped inside. The hallway took my breath away. A pristine wooden floor shone. Walls painted off white led to the doors to my kitchen and front room. A strip light subtly embedded in the ceiling cast a gentle glow over everything. I remember there was a camera filming me and shut my mouth.

Starting point is 00:11:24 Somewhere behind me I heard Misey whisper. Act naturally. I walked down the, hall entered my front room. I could have whipped with happiness. My hideous sofa had gone to be replaced by a black leather recliner. A glass table stood next to this. The perfect dressed in place for the drink I would get from the new mahogany drinks cabinet, which I would sip or watching my new slimline widescreen TV. Wow, I said, wow. Then I noticed the boots that had been placed and a newly installed shelf, either side of a row of shiny hardwood

Starting point is 00:12:01 books. They were brown, battered leather. I moved closer to look inside one. Bile rose into my mouth at the sight of bone poking through ragged flesh. I turned away in horror, saw the wall covering. It was pale with pink blotches, and about head height there was a line of bushy hair which curled up at the edges. I puked on the brand new carpet. Gasping for breath, my mind reeled. I looked for Misey. She was standing in a corner. The cameraman was next to her, still filming me. I pointed at her, cried out, you turn my best friends into wallpaper and a pair of bookends? She smiled a smile, unperturbed, then placed a hand on the cameraman's arm. He stopped filming. She began to applaud. Amazing, such a dramatic reaction. Then she stepped towards me and said,

Starting point is 00:13:01 The deep web awaits. I did not see the syringe in her hand until it was too late, and the needle was in my arm and the plunger pressed. Within seconds, a numbness was spreading throughout my body, and I staggered backwards, found myself falling into the recliner. Misey was standing over me. We just have one more piece to add, one more bare wall to beautify. She once more produced the scalpel.

Starting point is 00:13:32 It seemed to shimmer in the light, as she brought it closer to my face. I felt the first cut, just below my ear. I wanted to scream, wanted to beg, but I could not speak, could barely move. I was almost paralysed. The only thing I could feel was fear. Her smile filled my vision, and she whispered,

Starting point is 00:13:55 It'll be just like falling asleep. My eyelids flickered. A gunshot exploded. A blinding light filled the world before me. me, and I sat bolt up right. Misey looked shocked, stepped away for just a moment, long enough for me to lash out and grab the scalpel. I was not thinking, just acting our instinct, and was as surprised as she looked when I slashed

Starting point is 00:14:21 the face with the scalpel. She collapsed to the floor, and the last thing I remember before I passed out was the cameraman dragging her backwards across the floor, leaving a trail of blood. Screw the carpet, I thought. And that was it. By the time I came round, they were gone and it was dark outside. I was alone in a house, decorated with the remains of my best friends. I'm still here.

Starting point is 00:14:49 I'm too scared to go outside or contact the authorities. What if they don't believe me? What if I'm arrested for murder and locked away? I need to think, need to come up with a plan. In the meantime, I have one thing to ask. If you're online later, if you're in the dark, hidden. places that exist, seeking something forbidden, something to get your pulse racing, and you see a new page for a show teasing a home makeover with a twist. If you do, please, please do not. Press

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CreepsMcPasta Creepypasta Radio - "I won a free home makeover from a new online show. You do NOT want to view it" Creepypasta

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