CreepsMcPasta Creepypasta Radio - "The High Church Ritual" Creepypasta

Episode Date: November 16, 2024

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Is there something in life that you want that's impossible to have? I'm not talking about too hard to get, or possible, but not in your current situation. I'm talking impossible. Riches beyond comprehension, the resurrection of a past loved one. Hell, even an extra limb poking out your back. Well, this might be for you. I know a place where these things can happen. and all it takes is a wish.

Now, I won't sugarcoat it. This ritual, it's got quite some history. It's been around for ages, which, honestly, if you think about it, means it's very reliable. Anything that lasts this long has to work, right? It's not some snake or gimmick. No, this one's the real deal. It's got charm. and tradition, and most importantly, it delivers every single time.

You just have to follow the rules, and you'll walk away with your wish granted. That said, the rules, they're a bit particular. They've been the same for quite some time now, and they're not really up for misinterpretation or negotiation. But hey, that kind of thing has its own appeal. doesn't it? If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and we wouldn't want that, would we? But I think you can handle it. So, let me walk you through it step by step. Stick to the plan, and you'll be fine. Make sure you

pay attention. People have done it before, and it's done wonders for many others. Some you might have heard of are big names in pop culture. Though they probably wouldn't admit it. Okay, first things first. You need to find the church. And no, it's not on Google Maps, so don't bother looking. You won't find it on Apple Maps either. Trust me, I've tried.

The church has a mind of its own, and it only shows up if it feels like it to the people who are not looking for it. Not very convenient for us, right? But there's a way to make it much more likely to appear. You have to drive to the edge of town during the night. And when I say edge, I mean edge. Like the, this is where the serial convention is kind of edge. If you just kind of go to the outskirts, you might find the church there,

and you might even get the ritual started and completed. But you won't know you've done it wrong until it's all too late. So make sure it's at the edge. Once you're there, you'll know, because everything will go dead silent. No wind, no animals, no nothing. Just the sound of your heart, trying to punch its way out to your chest.

That's the first sign you're in the right spot. A moment where you can only focus on the silence. Turn off your headlights. When you see the trees arching into each, other, it should look like a massive archway. Don't ask me why. I don't make the rules. I just know that if you don't, you'll end up driving in circles until your gas tank gives out.

And no one wants to spend the night stuck in the woods. And, for the love of God, don't bring anyone with you. Not your bestie, not even your dog. Yes, I know it's creepy to go alone, but the place doesn't. doesn't like company too much. It's kind of antisocial that way. There was a guy who tried bringing his girlfriend with him and planned on leaving her in the car while he went to the church for moral support. Many people get cold feet looking for the place and he'd chickened out each time he looked for it. They didn't even get out of the car before she vanished into

thin air. No trace of her. Just the driver's seat soaked in sweat and him babbling nonsense. In a panic, he called the police, but because nothing he said made sense, the idiot got charged for her disappearance. Once you arrive at the tree archway, park your car and leave the keys inside. Don't bring the keys with you. Don't look back once you close the door. Also, bring a lantern or a lantern-like light source. A real one. Not your phone. not a flashlight or a lighter. I know it seems easier to just use what you've got, but trust me, you don't want to mess with this rule.

The church has been around for a long time, and it likes its traditions. If you try using an alternative, the device will explode in your hand about halfway to the church, fingers flying and everything. You'll be lucky to keep your hand. So use a proper light source. and bring some kind of disguise.

You may be wondering what a disguise is used for in a ritual involving the woods in a hidden church. But just do it. Make sure the disguise can hide you well too. No cheap plastic masks and mustache noses. Once you break through the woods themselves, this is where I want you to finally use your lantern. Not a moment before. Flick the light around and scan your surroundings.

If you see no path ahead of you, it means you used your light too early. Close your eyes now, calmly turn around, and walk out of the woods back to your car, and speed out of there. If this happens to you, never come back. Count yourself moderately lucky here. You have made no real progress, but the penalties for failing here are significantly less impact than the ones later on. But if everything goes correctly, you'll see a narrow path winding its way through the underbrush,

nearly invisible beneath the overgrowth. It wasn't always like this. Long ago, the path was wide and clear, but over time, the forest has reclaimed it. Now, only those who know what they're looking for can find it. The trees here are old. ancient even, twisted and gnarled, and they will feel like they're inspecting you as you walk. Don't be fooled into thinking, it's just a feeling.

The trees from ember. Stay on the path, no matter what. You'll hear things, things that sound like voices, faint whispers just beyond the reach of your hearing. Ignore them. If you leave the path, Well, it's kind of random. I mean, the last person to attempt this decided he wanted to veer off the path on purpose. He ended up on the peak of the K2 Mountain.

After a few minutes of walking, you'll see it. A stone structure overgrown with ivy and moss, its doors hanging open like a gaping mouth. The church. A feeling might come over you, screaming at you to tell. turn back, a primal instinct that has been washed away in modern times. Ignore it. Sure, the instinct is 100% right, but you are past the point of no return. Exiting the path has locked you in, so now you're in for the full ride.

I already know what you're thinking, but what if I want to stand there and truly taking the church's desolate beauty by taking a picture of the church's desolate beauty by taking a picture of of it with my handheld camera or phone that I brought with me. Just don't do it. The church itself is typically excited to have someone new enter its premises, but as I mentioned, it's antisocial. It's especially camera-shy, liking its visage to be unknown to those looking for it.

So let's just say you wouldn't be politely escorted out for this egregious transgression. The penalty will be far more permanent. As soon as you enter the church, the door will gently close behind you. This is a courtesy provided by the church for free. The door keeps what's inside from spilling out and keeps the things outside from interfering. Once the door is sealed, the air will grow heavier, thicker and colder. But more than that, the silence. will press in on you, suffocating in its weight.

You won't hear a single sound in this place. It's not just quiet. It's an unnatural, oppressive silence. Walk down the aisle. Yes, like a wedding aisle, except the only vowels you'll take are to survive the night. Whatever you do, don't look at the pews. I mean it.

Don't look. No matter how much it feels like someone sitting there watching you. Because if you do, you'll see them. And if you see them, they'll definitely see you. And trust me, you do not want to lock eyes with what hangs out in those pews. So, if you just don't look, they won't be able to touch you. Not yet. Straight to the altar you go.

It's not as grand as you imagine. A dark solid block with a thin white veil covering it. You'll see a little white candle sitting there, your new best friend, along with a bowl. But before you get too cozy, you need to give something up. That's right, you need to bring an offering. But don't panic.

There's no need to cut off a finger or anything. The offering has to be personal. something that matters to you. A family heirloom, the last copy of an important photo, a USB stick with the only copy of the save for your thousand-hour hardcore Minecraft world. Anything that carries weight in your life.

And no, the lint that's been collecting in your pockets does not count as sentimental. The church doesn't care about money, only meaning. It wants a piece of your soul, something of emotional significance, If you try leaving a $10 bill, the church will take it.

And you. It really doesn't appreciate a lack of effort. Put your offering next to the candle. Easy enough, right? Good. Once your offering is on the altar, you'll notice the silence will deepen, if that's even possible. It will feel as though the world outside has ceased to exist. entirely, leaving you alone in a pocket of emptiness.

Now, it's time to light the candle. You don't need matches or a lighter. The candle will light itself as soon as your offering touches the altar. The flame will be weak at first, barely flickering, but will grow stronger the longer it burns. If the candle refuses to light, pack it up, my friend. Whatever you brought wasn't good enough. Your best bet is to try to escape. It probably won't work, but it's your only move from a survival standpoint.

But let's assume the candle lights, because it usually does. You'll need to kneel down, close your eyes, and not open them until a set amount of time passes, depending on your wish. I know, I know. Why the hell should I close my eyes in this place? What if I want to see what's happening? Well, let me stop you there. Just don't open your eyes. You might feel something.

Actually, scratch that. You will feel something. Maybe a slight shift in the air, someone grazing against you as they walk around you, perhaps even breathing. And I know that feeling is going to make you want to look. It's instinct. But let me tell you, if you turn around for even just a quick peek when you're not supposed to,

it doesn't end well. Remember Trevor? Trevor was a good guy, but just a little too curious. He couldn't resist at all. Opened his eyes just a crack. But it was enough. Trevor was never found. Only his eyes in his abandoned car.

So don't be like Trevor. So, before starting this ritual, I want you to really practice your ability to count the time in your head. You're going to be waiting for a predetermined amount of time before you turn around. The number of minutes you must wait here depends on the nature of your wish. If you want something basic, like a new car, a better paying job, or free pizza for a year. Wait for about five minutes, give or take.

Doesn't have to be too exact. However, it's a bit more specific if you want something more, like a fortune in money, a grand house or fame. 15 minutes and a few seconds in change. But if you want someone brought back from the dead, it's a tight window. You have to wait 22 minutes and 13 seconds. It's not easy, but I've seen it done before.

Anything bigger, like control over the weather or an entire nation. No one knows the exact timing. I can only imagine it's specific down to the millisecond. It hasn't stopped some people from trying, but I've only seen it pulled off once. And boy, did Genghis Khan have a good run. Who knows, maybe you could be there next? Oh, and on the flip side, turning around too late isn't any better. You see, once the presence is behind you, it knows the window of time for your wish.

And if you linger too long, pass the point when you're supposed to turn around, you're basically overstaying your welcome. It's quite patient. Just not that patient. The ritual can continue after you are confident you count. wanted your desired time perfectly and turned around. You must draw a salt circle around yourself and the altar. You didn't bring any salt, did you?

That's okay, and that's why I didn't mention it at all. Ordinary store-bought salt wouldn't work for this anyway. Reach into the stone bowl on the altar. It's always there. Use the coarse, ancient salt inside to create a circle that is as perfect. as you can. This is crucial. If you try being a smart ass and draw a salt square,

the ritual will be all sorts of messed up, and you'll be flying blind from there. While you draw the circle, you'll hear whispers, soft at first, but grown louder. They'll tell you things, things you've buried, forgotten, and wish you could forget.

Ignore them. The whispers are meant to distract you, so you can't let it work. Finish the circle before they get too loud. Once the salt circle is down, you'll need to whisper the names of three people you've hurt. Yep, it's time to dig deep. Doesn't matter how you hurt them. Emotionally, physically, whatever, even if you did it unintentionally. The church wants those names.

and it wants them real, no faking. Now, if you're thinking, I've never hurt anyone, first of all, that's a lie, and secondly, if you can't come up with three names, just turn around and leave. The church will know if you're faking it, and things will go downhill fast. And on the off chance that you actually never hurt three people,

then well I'm actually not too sure what you're supposed to do maybe try hurting yourself to add an extra person congrats you've made it to the big moment

now it's time to make your wish the candle will turn black and you'll feel a cold breath in your neck don't worry that's normal a voice will ask you what do you seek here's your moment to shine.

Be clear, be specific. This thing doesn't do nuance and it definitely doesn't appreciate ambiguity. Say what you want. No more, no less. The entity that listens doesn't understand metaphors or figures of speech.

It takes everything literally. If you make your wish too vague, the results might be unexpected. Like, a guy came in to ask for hella cheddar dog, and when he got back, in his home were a variety of dogs made out of cheese. And for the love of all things holy, don't ask for more wishes. How do you think the figure that Grant's wishes is stuck there? One wish, that's it.

Wish made? Great. Now get out. But here's the thing. don't run I know I know you want to bolt for the door the church will sense your fear

and the things inside like the taste of fear resist the urge if you feel something brushing against your skin as you walk don't react it's testing you checking if you're ripe keep moving walk backwards three steps at a time

while keeping your eyes on the candle and make sure not to step on the salt circle you created earlier. There was a guy who wished to see his mother one more time, managed to get the timing down perfectly, and where did his wish exactly? While he was stumbling his way backward through the church toward the door, he heard his mother's voice calling out from behind him. He thought his wish had been granted,

and in a moment of horrible judgment, He turned around. His mother was there, but not fully formed yet, rasping out calls for help through a half-formed corpse. So remember, anything the church does outside of the rules I have told you while the ritual is ongoing is trickery. No matter how genuine a loved one of yours may sound from behind you, calling out for help.

Now, once you, you know, once you, you make it to the door, quietly open it and close it as gently as you can as you leave. I mean, have you ever given your friend a lift and gone out of your way to drive them to where they need to be? And as they leave,

they slam the door. Rude, isn't it? The same applies here. The guests do not take kindly to the audible disruption to their prayers, and the one sleeping upstairs are things you especially do not want to anger. You made it outside.

Impressive. But you're not out the woods yet, literally. The forest is going to feel different now. Remember when you felt like the trees were watching you? They were, and they remember what you look like. Probably some failed wishes turned into trees, idiots mad at someone succeeding or something. They're trying to recognize you,

but you're too far away for them to see for now. Just don't look up at them too long. Keep your eyes on the ground. Now put on the disguise that you brought with you. Start walking. No matter how heavy the air gets or how loud the whispers grow, ignore every sensation you feel. You have to keep walking.

The trees will rustle, branches will snap, and you'll swear you could see figures darting between the trunks. But don't stop. The moment you hesitate is the moment they close in. Because you, who have just crossed into dangerous territory, would hesitate. The stranger you are disguised as, well, they're just going for a leisurely stroll through the woods. Couldn't possibly be the person thereafter.

You have to make it back to your car And this is where many people fail Not because they're slow Or because their disguise was not good enough But because sometimes the woods just want a victim You'll hear footsteps behind you Louder now, closer Something will be following you

But you can't look back Not even a glance Try outmatching its pace without acknowledging its existence. You don't want it to think you're running away from it. The thing following you will stop at the tree line. If you can return to your car before it reaches you, you'll be safe. Once inside your car, lock the doors, turn on the engine and drive. Only stop once you're back in town.

Don't look in the rearview mirror. for a while either. As I mentioned, they don't like being looked at. If you've followed every step perfectly, your wish will come true. It might not happen immediately, but you'll notice the change soon enough.

The church keeps its promises. It doesn't play around with that. Riches, love life, maybe even peace, whatever it is. It's your. But there's one final addendum. Once you've made your wish, you can never go back to the church, ever.

Even if your wish doesn't turn out the way you hoped, even if you want to take it back, you cannot step foot in that church again. See, here's the issue. The church isn't done with you, not by a long shot. Sure, it'll grant your wish, but from then on, it will keep an eye on you. It'll try to bring you back, and it has many tricks to do that. It won't be obvious at first. The church is subtle, smart even.

It knows exactly how to get under your skin. You'll continue living your life, and when you start thinking you're in the clear, that's when it strikes. It could be months, even years down the line. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night, half asleep, just trying to make it to the bathroom. You've lived in the house you've gotten from your wish for years, and you know the layout like the back of your hand. You don't bother turning on the lights. You don't need to. But as you walk through the dark hallway, something feels off. You take a turn and suddenly you're not in your hallway anymore.

The floor under your feet, cold stone, the air, that same silence you remember from the church. You've been baited back, just like that. I've heard of people getting so confident, setting up many contingencies for the appearance of a strange room. that they see how far the church will go to get you to return. One person was about to sit down at his desk, the top floor of the company he just happened to inherit, only to see the ground below his desk wasn't the hardwood mahogany flooring imported from Europe,

but decaying grey stones. When he called maintenance to look at it, it was back to the hardwood, it had always been. One misstep. and he would have been pulled back, lost in the church to join the others on the pews. When you hear of a high-profile celebrity or a politician mysteriously disappearing, and you wonder how someone so important could just vanish, this could be why. That's the church's game.

It'll keep trying to pull you back in, using moments when you're not paying attention or most vulnerable. Maybe you're confident enough to always be paying attention, thinking the wish has made you untouchable. Maybe you think you can outsmart it. You'll live with this for the rest of your life. That's the real cost of the wish. Sure, you'll get where you want, but you'll always be watching your step, making sure you don't find yourself wandering into the dark, into a place that feels just a little too quiet.

And as soon as your foot hits the cold stone of its ancient floor, that's when you lose. But hey, if you're confident enough and you think your wish is worth it, then by all means, give it a go.