CreepsMcPasta Creepypasta Radio - "This call may be recorded for quality assurance" Creepypasta

Episode Date: February 17, 2021

CREEPYPASTA STORY►by JDerrick29: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comm...​Creepypastas are the campfire tales of the internet. Horror stories spread through Reddit r/nosleep, forums and blogs, rather than word of mouth. Whether you believe these scary stories to be true or not is left to your own discretion and imagination. LISTEN TO CREEPYPASTAS ON THE GO-SPOTIFY► https://open.spotify.com/show/7l0iRPd...​iTUNES► https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast...​SUGGESTED CREEPYPASTA PLAYLISTS-►"Good Places to Start"- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7YCb...​►"Personal Favourites"- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEa2R...​►"Written by me"- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX6RA...​►"Long Stories"- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list...​FOLLOW ME ON-►Twitter: https://twitter.com/Creeps_McPasta​►Instagram: https://instagram.com/creepsmcpasta/​►Twitch: http://www.twitch.tv/creepsmcpasta​►Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CreepsMcPasta​CREEPYPASTA MUSIC/ SFX- ►http://bit.ly/Audionic​ ♪►http://bit.ly/Myuusic​ ♪►http://bit.ly/incompt​ ♪►http://bit.ly/EpidemicM​ ♪-This creepypasta is for entertainment purposes only-

Oh, young, that I'm in three days. I'm all moor as I'm not more on think. Oh, that to seeer that morning off must. I'm all mooh as I'm just on tomorrow. Oh, from the night at a paddle tournament. Oh, I'm a moor as I'm not mad as I'm on think. Have you it mollick to come? Give you yourself then a boost.

With biocure, Maxhot Liquid. Three op-puppendant plants. Magnesium, Eiser. An energy booster to immediately again to can't come out. BioCure Macshot Liquid. Fooding Supplement, This call may be recorded for quality assurance.

There is a chance this phrase makes you tense up a little. A Pavlonian response to hours of your life lost waiting. Memories of silent prayers to a higher power that whoever answers can help fix whatever is malfunctioning in your life. In the back of your mind, dreading the conclusion, it's another department's problem and your call will be unceremoniously transferred again into limbo. All the while, anger and helpersness mixed in the way. together to the sound of Musak.

On the occasions where my internet craps out or my refrigerator stops running properly, I have a different reaction to these words, closer to the feeling of being far too familiar with something but not in the current context, like running into a teacher outside of school, because over the last few years it has been my job to listen to the recording in order to assure the quality promised. you, I don't actually know much about whatever goods or service is being discussed. The company I work for is a third party, focused on keeping the customer service process as smooth as possible.

My job is more about ensuring the customers aren't showing more than the usual low-grade rage common to the calls. On occasions where a significant outburst occurs, I recommend ways to keep future customers pacified. Putting it simply, my job is to listen to angry people call about their broken things and figure out how to make them less angry in the future. It's usually about as eventful as you were thinking.

At least until a few months ago when I was given a set of recordings that were different. Thank you for your patience. You are a valued customer whose concerns are very important to us. Your customer service agent will be with you momentarily. Be aware

this call may be recorded for quality assurance. I scribbled a note down to add to my recommendation list for the client. It has been my observation that people don't like being told they are valued after being on hold for an extended period of time. Hello, my name is Amanda. I will be your customer serviceation for this call. I may assist you today. The moment Amanda's voice came on over the recording, I couldn't help but roar my eyes. There was no Amanda on the line, of course. It was one of those response bots that were quickly becoming the norm. People hate them, but it's cheaper than hiring someone.

to do the job. To make matters worse, it is one designed to sound like an actual person. I got a pen ready to take a note of when I caller realized it and got annoyed. Hello, yes, hello. The caller responded, their voice a bit lethargic. I'm calling about the digital assistant that came in the mail. Could you be more specific caller? Amanda, the bot replied. What is the muddle of your digital assistant? Uh, the caller stammered, accompanied by the sounds of shuffling papers. It says here, it's the all-in-one integrated assistant.

I'm not sure if that's what... Thank you, Amanda the bot interrupted in the facsimile of a human tone. I just need a little bit more information to help you with your problem. What is your name? My name is Jared Keane. Thank you, Jared Keane. Amanda the bot replied, impressively quick for a bot. When did you get the all-in-one integrated assistant?

It came in the mail today, Jared Keane answered. But I'm... What I'm confused... Thank you, Amanda the bot interrupted again. You have indicated that you received the all-in-one integrated assistant through the mail. Can I inquire which marketplace you ordered it from, Jared Keen? Well, that's the thing, Jared said, seeming to realize he wasn't talking to an actual person.

I didn't order the thing. It was just on my door this morning when I woke up. Congratulations, Jared Keane, Amanda the bot replied. If you found the all-in-one integrated assistant at your doorstep, it means you were chosen at random to beta test our new upgraded version of the product. Please remember to fill out the survey on the last three pages of the instruction manual and place them in the return envelope, also found in the box after a week. How exciting, Jared Keene.

At this point, I had written several notes on the level of enthusiasm they had put, into the bot's responses. I found it more than a little off-putting, not to mention the over-repetition of the name of the product and customer. Judging by the amount of times it had interrupted Jared and the quiver in his voice, I'd have guessed he felt similar. At this rate, I was expecting a bit of an outburst sooner rather than later.

I have a bit of a question about what is supposed to do, though, because I plugged it in and... How exciting, Jared Keane, Amanda, the bot repeated. If you're having issues getting your all-in-one integrated assistant to start, please remember to place your thumb on the activation button indicated by the Penrose hourglass for an uninterrupted 30 seconds. You should know from the indicator when the all-in-one integrated assistant is activated. The thing is... I think the thing is busted.

What makes you think your all-in-one integrated assistant is malfunctioning, Jared Keene? Well, the thing zapped me, Jared answered. I put my finger on the little hourglass button. and it shocked me pretty bad. I have great news for you, Jared Keane. Amanda, the bot responded in a still overly chipper tone. Your all-in-one integrated assistant is not malfunctioning. The process of bio-integration is completed through the electronic connection.

Congratulations, Jared Keane. You're saying it was supposed to zap me? Yes, Amanda the bot replied. This is a necessary function for the all-in-one integrated assistant, and also the indicator the process has worked. Congratulations, Jared Keane. I have a bad heart, Jared said. The thing could have shorted my pacemaker.

For the first time, the lethargy in Jared's voice was replaced by annoyance. I couldn't say I blamed him much. I couldn't make notes criticizing the product's purposeful use of electricity, but I did write the recommendation that maybe the bot shouldn't sound so pleased about it. Don't worry, Jared Keane. The Amanda Bot responded cheerfully. The only one integrated assistant is designed to integrate with both biological and technological functions within the body. If anything, the Medtronic adapter pacemaker, model number ADD R06 should be functioning better than ever.

How exciting, Jared Keene. How did you know what kind of pacemaker I had? Jared asked with alarm. I didn't sign off for this trial thing. What the hell is going... Don't worry, Jared Keene. The Amanda Bot responded again. The All In One Integrated Assistant is designed to integrate with both biological and technological functions within the body.

By activating the only one Integrated Assistant, you accepted the user agreement and allowed, company name, access to your medical history through the device. How exciting! There was a short silence as Jared seemed to grapple with all the information he had received. I was aware no one really read the Vindprint in these types of situations, but this all seemed like a lot of information to sign away by just. pressing a button. I made note to ask if this was all legal before scratching it out. It wasn't really my place to point that out. I... Jared stuttered after some time.

I would like to talk to a supervisor, if I can. It really seems like I need to send this back to you. And my head's been a little fuzzy since the shot... I'm sorry, Jared Keen. Amanda, the bot interrupted for the first time, sounding a bit somber. But for the beta test for the all-in-one intervie. integrated assistant to be successful, we must limit the information being given out. Please remember to send in the survey at the end of the week.

I don't want this thing any... Jared's voice was interrupted once again, but this time it wasn't by Amanda the bot's voice. Instead, a high-pitched set of tones played over the receiver for about five seconds. I winced as it played over the speaker. After a moment of silence, Jared spoke again. What the hell? The line went dead. With the recording completed, I looked down at the notes I had taken.

They were noticeably light on the back half of the conversation. Admittedly, I had been distracted by the interaction. So, starting it again, I tried to only take notes that were within the parameters of my job. But it was difficult. In particular, the second time through, I was struck by the centering of the company name. It had been my understanding that these recordings come directly to, us after completion, the idea being that you can't get reliable data from interactions that have been tampered with by the client, which would mean the centering would have had to happen

in real time. Over the next few days, I went over many recordings about this specific beta test. Amanda the bot was always the customer service agent answering the calls. I made a lot of notes by the aggressively happy tone, constant repetition of names and phrases and its tendency to interrupt. What I didn't make physical notes of was how each person seemed to not have any idea of the beta test beforehand,

how the company name was always censored and the high-pitched tones at the end of each call. By the end of the week though, recordings for the all-in-one integrated assistant had dried up completely. I was sent new, far more typical recordings from other companies, and work got back to normal.

At least until the next week when I got a sudden dump of a few dozen recordings at once, which was immediately odd. That indicated that they were all recorded at roughly the same time. I opened the first file. Thank you for your patience. You're a valued customer whose concerns are very important to us.

Your customer service agent will be with you momentarily. Be aware, this call may be recorded for quality assurance. Hello, my name is Amanda. I will be your customer service agent for this call. How may assist you today? I tensed automatically at the now too familiar voice of Amanda the bot. I'd started to think they'd discontinued the test or moved on to something that didn't need the same form of customer service.

Hello Amanda, a familiar voice said. This is Jared Keane. I'm a member of the beta group for the all-in-one integrated assistant. I felt the hairs stick upon my neck and arms. Usually, it's pretty easy to forget a name in this job. but Amanda the bot had said all the names so many times in each recording and he had been the first it had sort of stuck with me

calling again but this time with a sickening stunted tone and a mood I would call aggressively upbeat how exciting Jared Kean Amanda the bot said I just finished going over your survey about the all in one integrated assistant and it would appear you are happy with the rest more than a happy I'm under Jared Keene interrupted I would say the all in one integrated assistant is the best thing to happen to me That is exciting to hear Jared Keane

Keep in mind over the next few months The All In One Integrated Assistant will be exiting beta testing Soon we will be sending all new software updates to assist How exciting Amanda Make sure to think everyone working so hard over there at Company Name for me I know I am so excited to see what they do net Of course Chad Kean

What followed was the hyperactored pitched tones from before. I had heard it many times with the first batch of recordings, but this time, instead of confusion on Jared's side of the call, it was answered by another set of lower tones. When they finished, it was silent for a moment before Amanda the bot spoke again. So excited to be connected to the company name, family Amanda. The recording ended abruptly. I couldn't help but notice the shift in the still-stilded tone with both of their sign-offs. Less a progressively upbeat, and more like two confederates sharing something unspoken. For a bit, I sat uncomfortable at my desk.

I hadn't taken any notes this time, and as I thought about it, I supposed I didn't have to. Both sides of the conversation seemed content with the interaction. It made my stomach turn. I clicked the next recording. Amanda, the bot, was talking to Harriet Rhodes. I recognized her voice and name from the last batch of recording. about the all-in-one integrated assistant.

She had been upset about the shock, like Jared had. I turned it off after the first little back and forth between Amanda and Harriet. I clutched the arms of my chair to steady the room around me. They were having the same conversation Amanda had with Jared, not as in they were having a happy conversation about how Harriet likes the digital assistant, or even that they shared similar pleasantries. Down to the emphasis of each individual word, Amanda and Harriet, having the exact same conversation as Amanda and Jared.

Frantically, I clicked through random recordings on each file. Each of them, a different voice and name I remembered from the recordings the previous week, people who had called to complain about the device at their door they never ordered. Every one of them, now having the exact, identical conversation with Amanda the bot, down to the second. Leaving most of them unplayed, I passed them along with the indication that there were no issues with the customer service method. That was a while ago. Mostly, my job is what it has always been. Recordings are people complaining about their washing machines or cable provider.

Every now and then, I get another batch with a familiar, aggressively upbeat voice. Without listening, I note the bot is too repetitive and interrupts customers. The next week, when I receive a large back of simultaneous recorded files with the same timestamp, I mark them, great customer service, without opening any. More and more, I also find myself thrown out packages at my door. I don't remember ordering.