Crime in Sports - #101 - The Malicious, Menacing Moron - The Incredulousness of Keon Clark

Episode Date: January 8, 2018

This week, we climb a mountain of stupid, and find a rainbow of crazy when we look at a man that simply refuses to learn a lesson. Guns, weed, violence, a police standoff, more problems driving than you ever thought possible... and, of course, cocaine. He tries to convince the world that he's fine, on several occasions, but trouble, and more arrests were never far behind!!Blow all of your opportunities, pretend to have a seizure in court, and never, ever pay any of your bills with Keon Clark!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at...patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.comFor Tickets To Upcoming Live Shows...BOSTON: Feb 18 Crime In Sports:https://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1589056?_ga=2.84751449.1576137293.1510029131-53581790.1510029128&__utma=1.876925325.1510029128.1510029128.1510029128.1&__utmb=1.2.10.1510029128&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1510029128.1.1.utmcsr=yahoo|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=-&__utmk=255437192Small Town Murder https://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1589061?_ga=2.53771112.1576137293.1510029131-53581790.1510029128&__utma=1.876925325.1510029128.1510029128.1510029128.1&__utmb=1.2.10.1510029128&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1510029128.1.1.utmcsr=yahoo|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=-&__utmk=255437192DETROIT: Feb 16 Stand Up Show w/ Dan Cummins https://www.ticketweb.com/event/dan-cummins-james-pietragallo-the-magic-bag-tickets/7823825?pl=magicbagCheck out or site: truecrimecomedyteam.comAll web support by Web and Writerwebandwriter.com or Facebook.com/webandwriterContact us on...twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/crimeinsports   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. The Queen of the Courtroom is back. How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie Hello. Welcome to Crime and Sports. Yay! Yay indeed, Jimmy. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I am Jimmy Westman.

Thank you folks so much for joining us again on another exciting edition of Crime and Sports. Hope you enjoyed episode 100. It was a tough one. Worked hard on it. Hope you liked it. Hope you enjoyed the Scummy Awards. I haven't had that much fun in a while with the Scummies. It was so great. Oh, the Scummies were so much fun. The pageantry, Jimmy. It was more than the Oscars.

More than anything. It was more than a royal coronation. It was that sort of event. Black tie all the way. Some people with those yellow stringy things on their shoulders. So much. It's very, very fancy,

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We really can't even express it in words how it is. We're blown away by it. Thank you guys for everything. Really, we love you to death for it. Thank you. Also here, a quick thing. Coming back this about two weeks now, it will be myself and my wife, Sarah Hunt, who's hilarious. Our podcast, P.S. I Hate This Movie, where we rip apart romantic comedy movies and destroy them and make fun of them.

And if you like to hear me rant and rave and act like a lunatic because something is driving me crazy, that's pretty much the whole show mixed with Sarah's hilarious snarkiness herself. So it's good stuff. Listen to that. But never mind all that shit. Jimmy, none of that's important right now. We have a singular focus today. And that is on a criminal athlete. As usual, our criminal

athlete today, Arian Keon Clark. You know who Keon Clark is? NBA player? Wait, wait, wait. Her real first name is Arian, which I never understand when black guys are named Arian. I know it's spelled different. No, it's not the same, but you're going to name your kid Arian, really.

You have a black child in your possession and you go, Arian! I see Arian when I look at this. Not the best decision. Keon Clark, I thought I was going to go with a football player. No, no. Basketball player. I saw him playing for the Browns. No, no. He should have. If he was a football player, the Browns would be

a great place for him. But late 90s, early 2000s, NBA. He was post-lockout. So it's right at that time when we were all pissed off at the NBA and watching it less. So that's why you may not remember him. Keyon Clark, born on April 16th, 1975. Born in Danville, Illinois. It's in central Illinois, Danville.

Kind of in the middle of nowhere, not near anything. No, like you wouldn't say, oh, it's this far from Chicago. It's real far from Chicago. Just know that much. It's not a booming metropolis. There's about 30,000 people there in a central Illinois kind of factory town. At one point, they said there's interviewing people in town, and the main source of jobs at that point was the Quaker Oats factory. Oh, Christ.

So it's that sort of town where it's like, yeah, we all work at the factory. And if that factory closes down, then every store on Main Street will be shuttered in two weeks. It's one of those things. One of those kind of deals here. Now, Keon, again, huge surprise, Jimmy. I'm going to shock you now. Okay. So take your deep breath. Get ready. Brace yourself.

Had a shit upbringing. I know. I know. It's crazy, right? We don't ever expect that from our guys to have a shit upbringing. Right. Usually just nothing but high crust and boarding schools and Oxford. Yeah, lots of blue blood.

So many valedictorians we've had in this. Just so many people that are like, do I go to Harvard Law or do I, you know, go play basketball? I don't know what to do. We actually had one guy turn down Harvard. That's one. Larry Bethea, I think it was, that did that. Very few people come from good backgrounds, and this guy is no exception. Keon Clark here.

Upbringing, obviously not his fault. His mother mainly raised him, Cynthia Brown, and we'll talk to her. She is an early, very early candidate for the 2018 Golden Gilreth Award. One weekend. One weekend. She's a comer. She's a strong contender. I don't know who's going to beat her.

I mean, coming out of the gate, this lady is just. She's a strong sea biscuit. I'm telling you. It's one of those things. She's got like a 20-length lead right now on these people. And it's like, I don't know. They're going to have to catch up. The mothers this year are going to have to hustle.

That's what I'm saying. Set the bar high. They want to play in the same court with Cynthia Brown. They're going to have to hustle. That's all I'm saying here. So it's just he's raised pretty much just with his mom and him, Cynthia Brown here. Also a guy who kind of a big brother type. I don't know if he had a relationship with the mother or what it was or if he was just a guy who – Keon grows up to be 6'11".

Jesus. So he's a big kid. Holy shit. And so it's one of those things where I think a lot of people might have saw him and was like, oh boy, I'll take this kid under my wing here. He's got a future. It's that sort of thing. It's silver-haired, middle-aged white men crawl out of the woodwork for a kid at 6'11".

He's either hanging Christmas lights for a big wage later, or he's going to play in the NBA. He's going to do something. So they had a guy who used to play for Danville High, which is the high school there. He used to be a basketball player for them named Jerome Nelson, who was kind of a big star for Danville High School back in the day. And he kind of took Keon under his wing, tried to teach him about, you know, he taught him basketball a lot, too. He was kind of a personal coach there.

And he tried to teach him how to be a man type of thing or whatever, just an adult, not really a man. But one of those things you say, like, oh, teach him how to be a man, whatever. Teach him not to beat up women would be good. That's good. Teach him to respect them. Not do cocaine in an excessive amount. Give him the rules. Don't move back up.

Once you get out of here, never come back. I'm going to tell you something right now. Once you get out of this town, you never fucking come back. Now you run, you turn, and you never even look back. Go. Never storm that up Uranus. That should be a good one. That's a good rule.

That's a rule we shouldn't even have to have is the thing. But for some reason we do, which is very, very frightening here. So he helps him, like I said, try to learn a little about responsibility, that sort of thing. He grows up in the Carver Park Public Housing Complex, which I believe doesn't exist anymore. But shit, it's poor. Very, very poor. His father, John, he's not a junior, luckily for him, Keon, here. His father, John, big time criminal also.

Really? Nothing to do with Keon as a kid growing up. Not a goddamn thing. He's a drunk, a mess. He does a lot of thing. He's a drunk, a mess. He does a lot of drugs. He's always getting arrested. Fantastic. Just a general nudnik that a lot of these guys' fathers are.

He's fought for the best. He didn't stick around. But this clearly didn't help. This is one of those cases. About every 10 episodes we say it. Is it better for these terrible fathers to leave at an early age and have nothing to do with their kids and then no responsibility or to stick around and just beat the holy shit out of everybody and cause everybody a horrible life like that? Which is worse? And we can't tell, honestly, because it works out both ways.

I have no idea. They're both awful. They're just both awful. Just be a good dad, goddammit. That's it. awful. Just be a good dad. That's it. What he would do is once Keon later on, he becomes a basketball player

and he's playing. He's a big star at the high school there at Danville High. His dad would show up. Oh no. Would show up high and drunk. Yes. And would be basically just be like a, make a distraction on the side of the court. Just make a scene. He'd show up and embarrass

his kid. Everyone would be hanging out. Everyone would be playing. The game would be going on and all of a sudden you'd hear that's my boy Keough right there. He's dunking. He's drunk and shit. It's Amari Stoudemire's mom. She's not even allowed in the fucking stadium anymore. That's kind of what it was.

She's a fucking lunatic. He would be super embarrassed by it. His father's also 6'11". It's not like he can blend it. He's like, oh, boy. And his father's also 6'11", which doesn't help. It's not like he can blend in. He's this giant guy standing in the corner going, boy, no one's going, which one? They're going, the tall one? Yeah. I assume.

Yeah, that makes sense. Amari Stoudemire's mom was locked up with a bed puddle. A bed puddle that pissed in my bed. Got a TUI and she had to be in jail. She was locked up with Amari Stoudemire's mom. Amari Stoudemire's mom is known in prison. They know, or in the jail system. She was in prison, whatever.

I didn't date somebody that gangster, is my point. She wasn't hard, she was just pissed. No, she just fucking got arrested for a DUI. So she was in jail with Amari Stoudemire's mom. She's known in jail as the lady that takes all her clothes off and just wanders around. My ex-girlfriend, Bed Puddle, saw Amari Stoudemire's mom's asshole because she bent over and she was picking something up and then somebody shouted, Mama Stoudemire, put on your underwear. And then Bed Puddle turned around and looked at the perfect time to see that pink star

stare. Lucky her. What a nice night. As if being arrested wasn't bad enough. I know. Now you're in there and you're like, oh. A large black woman with rainbow dreads, by the way. She stood out.

She looked like a female George Clinton. It was ridiculous. That was ridiculous. I've seen her, yeah. I've seen her, man. And then she turns around to see the pink star. It's awesome. It's so fucking good. That seen her, man. And she turns around to see the pink star. It's awesome. It's so fucking good.

That's amazing, man. Now, his father also, in addition to being a menace, his father, obviously, because he's 6'11", a former ball player. His father played at Danville Community College and was a pretty damn good shot blocker, from what I understand, because he's 6'11". And, you know, drunk and mean. It's easier to block shots that way when you're drunk and mean and angry. There's a guy named Gene Gorley. Gene here is, he's like the, he's 20, he was 20 something years he coached the Danville High School basketball team.

He's known as like one of the most admired people in town. He's like, he's Gene Hackman and Hoosiers, an article they describe him as. He's, everybody in the town looks up to him. He's beyond reproach, the whole deal. That's his deal. Everybody loves him. He takes all the young guys under his wing and he doesn't diddle them.

And he's a good guy. Everybody calls him coach in town. Everybody comes in, hey coach. Like it's such, that's so small town basketball. You know what I mean? The people at fucking Walmart are like, hey, coach. Imagine in a city, you walk into a place. They don't give a shit who you are.

No one goes, oh, hey, fucking whatever you are. Hey, judge. No one knows you. You just walk in. He ends up getting dedication of the YMCA basketball court is named after him. Wow. The whole deal. He's he's very well known in town here.

Gene remembers Gorley saw Keon Clark at the YMCA in about the sixth grade, he said. So that's when he first found him. He said, quote, he was running around playing some basketball, sometimes just running. I got to know him his freshman year at Danville, and he'd grown so much that he was not real coordinated and was really weak. He was 6'5", 6'6", just a project. Okay. So a kid that age, 14 years old, grows to 6'6", lanky, uncoward. I mean, you've got to wait for that to come together if you've ever seen a puppy or a newborn deer try to walk.

My Christ, seeing an uncoordinated tall man play basketball, it's fucking frustrating. Yeah. Because you just want to jump in his body. It looks like they're going to break. Yeah, but you want to jump in his body and be like, no, dummy, watch this. Watch, do it like this. This is how it's done. I could do it if I had your fucking.

Yeah, you suck. Jesus Christ, you're so lucky, you fuck. When they're 14, though, it's a different story because you're like, I don't have any idea. You just have these big limbs everywhere. It's not great. It's like Kevin Bacon in the air up there. He's trying to teach the African nationals how to play. We've talked about the air up there so many times.

That's such a great movie. It's so good. I've seen that 20 times. It's so terrible. I've watched it a hundred times. But even the dunk that's like the game deciding dunk at the end, it's the most uncoordinated shitty dunk ever. Yeah.

Well, they had to get like a tall guy who wasn't a professional basketball player because they wanted an actor that's better than that or the one with Denzel Washington and Ray Allen. Right. They either have that or the basketball. No, no, no. That's a documentary directed by Steve James. The Hoop Dream is totally different. That's, yeah, documentary. It's something with Ray Allen is named something like that, no. That's a documentary directed by Steve James. The Hoop Dream is totally different.

That's a documentary. It's something with Ray Allen is named something like that, though. Yeah. Isn't it Dreams or some shit? I don't remember what it was, but his dad's Denzel Washington, and his dad's like Keon Clark's dad, basically, and he's coming in, and Keon Clark is Ray Allen. And Ray Allen, the basketball scenes look phenomenal, because Ray Allen is a top-notch, probably future Hall of Fame basketball player, but he can act like dog shit.

He acts as well as Denzel Washington plays basketball. It's fucking terrible. There's the line you got to cross and decide which do you want. Do you want the basketball scenes looking great or do you want acting? Or do you want acting? Also, see blue chips also. We want a guy that's like Penny Hardaway. Tell you what, don't get Penny Hardaway because he can't act for shit.

Also, don't get Shaquille O'Neal. No. The white guy wasn't a ball player. They were like, just get a tall guy who can act. If you want the dialogue to matter, then don't get Shaq. Don't get Shaq. Also, see Eddie with Whoopi Goldberg. Fucking horrible. Stop casting athletes toq. Also see Eddie with Whoopi Goldberg. Fucking horrible.

Stop casting athletes to act. Stop casting John Sally. Don't cast him. He's in a lot, too. John Sally pops up all over the place, man. First couple years of high school, freshman, sophomore year, Clark was shit in school. He was terrible in school.

So he was on and off the team due to academics. They didn't really depend on him for anything at all. Gourley said, quote, I don't think he ever took school seriously at Danville. So that makes sense here. But he keeps growing and he keeps getting more coordinated. His junior year he was 6'8 and growing

still and getting more coordinated, figuring that out. Keon himself says that he wasn't interested in school at all and he was more coordinated figuring that out yeah Keon himself says that he wasn't interested in the school at all and he was more interested in just kind of being he wanted to be the class clown when he says quote I was the class clown I made people smile just maybe not the powers that be which is pretty much that's the class clown that would sum up his entire life I love it yeah some people are gonna laugh at him like us and hundreds of thousands of listeners and all that sort of thing.

Yeah. People who are actually responsible for fuck-ups that he makes probably not laughing. It's quite as hard at it. Gorley says, quote, his work ethic and accountability were not where I wanted it to be all the time. I'm old school that way. Gotcha. So anyway, though, but he kept growing. By his senior year, he's 6'11".

Wow. Yeah. So Gorley is like, I have to figure out a way to use this guy. Old school or not, he's 6'11". There's not a lot of these guys walking around. Let's figure this shit out. You know what I mean? I am a silver-haired, middle-aged white man after all.

I want to make sure he grows up to be a good person. He has correct morals and all that. But I also need a guy to block shots in the paint. So, you know, hey, that's silver, baby. That's the way it is. So he's kicked out of practice a bunch of times for being a general dickhead. He got caught in high school stealing a knee brace from a drugstore. A knee brace.

He's 6'11". They're going to sting. They're going to see you, number one. You are not the best guy to steal. They can see your head above the aisles walking they're like yeah that guy just watch him going he dipped down right around the knee braces yeah and now he's walking again not to mention tell your coach you need a fucking knee brace right something tells me girl he would get you a goddamn knee brace somebody

would get you a fucking knee brace don't steal knee braces dummy but maybe he thought he didn't want to be a burden or whatever the crazy part about about it is they didn't catch him in the store the way you would think. They caught him because the show. Go ahead. I'm going to assume as he was walking out, it was on him and it wasn't when he came in. Not quite as dumb as that. But the shows are on local television. The show. I mean, the games are on local television. The show, I mean, the games

are on local television. The proprietor of the store was watching Keon Clark wearing the knee brace on television. Unbelievable. That's from my store, but I didn't sell that to him. Again, that's how small of a town it is. If a man has a knee brace on,

you know he must have stolen it from you because there's nowhere else to get a fucking knee brace in town. I'm the knee brace guy. If he's has a knee brace on, you know he must have stolen it from you because there's nowhere else to get a fucking knee brace in town. I'm the knee brace guy. If he's got a knee brace, it comes through me. That's kind of a shitty – I'm calling racism. That too. He did it because the kid was black because who's to say somebody didn't buy it from you, asshole, and give it to that kid?

Well, he probably knows how many extra, extra, extra, extra large knee braces he sold this week. He was like, I haven't sold any quadruple X knee braces. Get there is one. How did that work? But still, you assume he stole it from you. It's kind of funny. That's a shitty thing. I'm still claiming.

I'm claiming. I'm sure it is. Yeah, I'm sure that doesn't help at all. But yeah, the coach was just, Gurley was very frustrated by him because he's like, you're 6'11". Right or not. You know what I mean? Whether or not he's right that he stole it from him, it's still racism. That's the

thing. Yeah, he immediately said, he must have stole that from me. Rather than maybe they were in another town and he bought it. Or, you know, maybe he had it already or whatever the case may be. How shitty is their television programming that they're watching high school basketball? That's fucking terrible. And I figure he took inventory and noticed one gone that he didn't sell.

But he then remembered his knee brace inventory while he's watching a high school basketball game on television. That life sucks. His life is shit. Fuck that guy and his life. God damn it. That's, he just, well, I'm going to just keep track of my inventory and watch TV for perpetrators. Oh my God, man. So Gurley here says that he finally, he says, quote, I finally told Keon, you have the ability

to be a starter and play on this team. Play all the time. This is the way it's going to be. Next game, I'm going to let you start. But if you have an attitude or you're not working hard, I'm going to take you out and sit you right next to me for three minutes. And I'll put you back in, but if you don't show me you want to play, I'll take you out a second time and you ain't going back in.

I like the hard line that he's taking with him. And he's like, I'll sit you right next to me. For three minutes. I don't want to lose this game. I'll put you back out there in an important spot. Now, last two minutes of the game, you're going to go out and block shots. You fuck up again. Now you're coming off. Then you're done.

You're done for the last ten seconds of the game. I will take you right out. I'll put in the kid with the learning disability, and we'll get on the news and out all over this fucking country. I'll be a hero. I hate when they do that. I'll be a hero. It fucking makes me insane. You're going to put in the kid that has whatever disability

to get on the news. That's why you're doing it. If you're a good person, if you've got a big heart, make that fucking kid a starter, asshole. I was going to say, yeah, that too. I just think it's one of those things where i don't see what that has what one thing has to do with the other like if the kid wants to shoot a hoop right take him out before the game let him shoot a hoop everybody in the crowd can clap and everybody will be happy

but in the middle of the game it's like what what is this all a big play are we is this a play are we i get that it's a nice thing and the kid feels great. Everyone's going to think we're assholes for saying this. We still want to win the fucking game. This isn't part of the game. Words have meanings. We're in a game, which is a competition. In there, there's no gray area for it unless we want to put a kid with a disability in to score a point to feel good and get on the news, and then we go back to the game.

It doesn't make sense. Let him come out at halftime and do whatever he wants. Do whatever he wants. Have a shoot-out. You got 15 minutes, kid. Bring the other kids on the floor to play with him at halftime, even. He doesn't want to be out there on his own. He wants to let them all go, hey, all right, that's great.

Then once the buzzer comes to the third quarter, you go, all right, now shimmy your ass off Go sit the fuck down. We got a game to win. Somebody wheel his ass off, all right? Let's go. Fuck. Kid with palsy in the fucking last two minutes. Are you shitting me, all right? Let's go. Fuck. Kid with palsy in the fucking last two minutes. Are you shitting me, coach?

Come on. It's a three-point game. I get it. The kid with palsy has never had a good moment. You want him to feel good. I understand that. Fuck that. But it has nothing to do with these kids or any of this stuff.

It's just, okay, now we've alienated everybody. Terrific. I don't even care. All right. Fuck them. All right, go on. Fuck palsy kids. How's that? Yeah, that's right. I said it. I don't know. Terrific. I don't even care. Fuck them. Fuck palsy kids. How's that? Yeah, that's right. I said it.

I don't know. Sweet Christ. I don't mean that. I just hate those stories on the news. They make me insane. The kids never look excited about it. No, it's just like the other kids are always like, can we get through this? Can we finish the game? You're like, I don't know this kid.

I don't know. The point of this is that that kid has to score on us we look like dipshits it's the kid that with you learning they have to let you score too so it's even it's like what are we doing what are we doing just erase this so can we move on jesus so keon is six foot eleven in this in this senior year he's got a wingspan of 7'5", though. Sweet Christ. Which is way longer than it should be and excessively helpful for being a down-low basketball player. The longer your arms are, the better. Shot blocking, everything, grabbing rebounds.

7'5"? 7'5". Fucking hell. That's freakish. His arms are down to his knees. That's freakish shit here. Now, they have a great team in 92-93 the old Danville Vikings

with his senior year Keon's senior year they reached the semi-finals of the Illinois 2A basketball tournament at the time there's only two divisions in the state so the 2A was like the that's the second one or I guess it's the big one yeah Gurley says that

Keon was the quote the darling of the state tournament. Okay. He said that Danville wasn't expected to do anything, and Keon started playing so well, and the team played so well that they went much farther than anybody thought they were going to go. And he was so happy. And this is like in town. 25 years later, they still talk. Remember that team?

Really? That's, again, you know, a in town. 25 years later, they still talk. Remember that team? Really? That's, again, you know, a small town when you remember a good basketball team that the high school had from 20 years ago. Remember that team? Oh, the one with the knee brace thing. The tall kid with the father ranting and raving on the side. Yeah, I know that guy. Yeah, that's the team there.

Now, Keon also at this point, unfortunately, so that's all going great, he also begins drinking in high school. Really? He likes to drink. He'd go to the park to play basketball with the other kids and he'd drink and screw around. Smug a little weed here and there. Just being a typical kid that hangs out

at the park and plays ball and smokes weed and drinks like everybody does. He's not focused on basketball. He's not focused on school basketball. I'm going to go to college and all that sort of thing. So he ends up after this, his senior year, while this is all happening, Temple University, which is a big college, they start really recruiting Keon hard. They're sending their scouts and their people to the high school campus to talk to him. John Chaney, the coach, liked him a lot.

He's getting a major university on him. But his academics were terrible. You mean the guy that drinks and drugs isn't focused? Shocking, right? Not really even focused on basketball, never mind school. I mean, he's not even focus on the fun thing. Never mind school shit. The part that's actually exciting and probably getting him laid right now. Oh, I would imagine so. Yeah. And it's not that the coach says that he had, quote, basically C's, D's and F's.

Yeah. So welcome to my high school, bud. Yeah. No shit. They had a meeting with Clark and the coach and Temple officials and Chaney, the coach of Temple. They had Gordley's office in Danville, and all they wanted to talk about was whether he was going to be eligible to even play or not academically. The coach here said, quote, I give Temple a lot of credit because they found Keon early when he was an unknown, and all of a sudden in his senior year he's playing against Chicago teams and blocking 10 shots a game and doing all these unbelievable things. He had a personality that could shine, too, and they loved that, and Keon really wanted to go there. So we're in my office, and they're talking about getting him signed, and they brought up his academic questions. They're being really positive, saying, Keon, we can get you into summer school, and if you make straight A's and finish up this year and do really well,

you'll be academically eligible. But the coach knew that this was like, you know, he also could grow wings and fly around. And if his aunt had balls, she'd be his uncle. It's one of those things. Like, there's a lot of ifs. You know what I mean? Like, anything is an if. If you do this, it means, that means yeah sure i guess that could

happen i have never heard that before and i guarantee you that's an old thing isn't it that's like an old time like if my grandfather would have said that to me as a child i would i would still be laughing i think i heard i think i heard an old black woman say that back in the day when i was a kid if your aunt had balls she'd be your uncle an old black woman said that to me when i was a child i don't know if that's a black thing or not but i thought it was great i like took a i mean i heard that when i was seven and took like a mental note of that i'm like okay i like that i like your style lady i gotta tell you something, that's the funniest shit I've ever heard. She told me that.

Yeah, I was like, you're the shit there. Unbelievable. That's what started my thing of older black women liking me. Old black ladies love me. They fucking love me. I was at a gas station the other day, and I went in, and there was this dude in front of me, and he was like a disheveled Mexican guy. Mexican doesn't matter.

He was like this disheveled guy. And I say Mexican because and Mexican doesn't matter he was like this disheveled guy and I say Mexican because his English wasn't terrific and there was probably a 50 year old black lady behind the counter who was not having

any of this shit and he was like you know sending $10 on this pump and she said pump two? She was like what do you want from me?

Like the look on her face was motherfucker get away from me. Takes his money like snatches it out of his hand and he walks out and I walk up and she goes what what can I do for you, baby? I was like, yeah, that's right.

You should have spoke Spanish. That would have been amazing. That would have been great. Sheila shot herself behind the counter. That would have been great. Oh, man. I'm the same way. Black women seem to really, really dig me.

I love black women. They're awesome. And it's my favorite thing in the world. Because they say shit like, yeah, that ball should be up. That's fucking awesome. I love it. Great people. Okay, go on.

Yeah, so Gurley said, quote, I'm saying, you know, Coach, that's true. That could happen. But given Keon's grades, what happens if he doesn't make all A's this summer? Which is a good question. But he said, that was a good question. Everyone in the room except for Cynthia Brown, this is how he described a girl. He said, quote, she jumped on me. Quote, there you go. You don't think Keon can do it.

You're being negative again. I was trying to look at her son, and she started blaming the school counselor. She said, quote, the counselor didn't give him the right schedule, and so on and so on. Chaney was bent on signing Clark, but Gurley walked out of the meeting shaking his head, and of course he didn't go to Temple, obviously, because they actually had to keep their shit together. This was after he said he was going to go to Temple, the whole deal. But he ends up, rather than Temple, rather than a major university program with a legendary coach, he ends up at Irvine Junior College in California.

In Irvine. God damn it. He goes there. He got, I guess, just to keep playing and to try to get into a better school here. There's the most uncultured town in america irvine's terrible it is all white people and then a shit pile of asians nothing else nothing and then one 611 black guy yeah that's it and he's there and uh and he said it was weird too because he he just got right into drinking when he got there because he's lonely he's over there

he said quote when you leave vermilion County and go to Irvine, California, and you don't have anyone to bounce things off, you bounce it off a bottle. Oh. Which makes sense. I like that. Yeah. He said he had no support system, so he just didn't know what else to do but drink. So, 94, 95, he goes to Irvine, going to California.

If your aunt had balls, she'd be your uncle. She'd be your uncle. It's me. That's one of those things you hear and you go, well, yeah, I guess so. It's true. Sure. Why not? You hear that when you're seven, you go, that's logic you can't refute.

Irrefutable logic. This lady's a genius. I'm telling you, if my grandpa had said that when I was eight, I'd still be laughing today. Have a better relationship with your grandfather. My grandfather's my hero. But this would have just made him a god. That's so fucking funny. You're like, and he's hilarious.

And he's hilarious. So, 94-95, he goes to Irvine. He's drinking. He's playing junior college here. The Irvine junior college motto by the way i love these mottos quote from possibility to actuality oh which what you can make it all happen at irvine junior college you can do that anywhere irvine no no no no no jimmy you can't you can't you is that y slogan? No. I mean, at Yale.

No, I don't care. It's because Yale had a better one. They branded this, and that's it. That means it's true. They say, from possibility to actuality, that's what they deliver. Yale can suck a dick, because I don't hear them fucking delivering shit. They're saying, oh, top-notch Ivy League education. No, no, no.

We're the best. I want possibility to actuality. I want the possibility of making $32,000 a year to the actuality of making 32 grand a year for the rest of my fucking life. That's what I'm looking for. That's what I'm looking for. That's amazing. So he plays for Irvine this year, plays in 23 games, averages 22.6 points a game, which

ain't too shabby at all. 20.4 rebounds a game. Jesus. This guy's dropping you 20 and 20. My Christ. That's serious when you're doing 20 and 20.4 rebounds. But in community college. It's community, but I mean, for them, they're like, holy shit.

God has come. This is great. Two blocks a game also. But he's done after one year at Irvine. He's miserable out there. He's lonely. He's drinking. He's just a general miserable bastard. The beach doesn't do it for him?

He doesn't like it. He's just fucking right there. Nope. He's got nobody. He's miserable. He's the type of guy that loves home. Yeah. He's the type of guy, spoiler alert, at some point later, he'll move home.

Of course he does. He'll break that rule and watch his life fall apart from there and unravel. He'll break that rule and watch his life fall apart from there and unravel. So he comes back home, plays briefly at Danville Community College in 95-96. John Spezia, who's the head coach there, he says that Clark took classes but never played. So he got on the team, but then he didn't play. He says he likes to do a lot of things, sing, tell jokes. He's a nice, fun-loving kid, but sometimes he can be in his own world.

He sings and tells jokes, but he doesn't play basketball. He doesn't really play basketball. He's just in his own world. So from there, he needs to find a place to go play some ball. So where does he go? He goes to Dixie State. Oh, boy. So you're going to go from Illinois all the way out to California, back to Illinois, and then end up at Dixie State,

which is actually in St. George, Utah. Jesus, what? It's not in Georgia. It's not in Dixie at all. You thought automatically it was in rural Georgia. I thought South Carolina. Something like that. No, he's in fucking St. George, Utah.

So lily white, by the way. And I was going to say, no better place for a guy to blend in who's a 6'11 black guy than a small town in Utah where everyone is 6'11 and black. So this is going to work out just swimmingly, right? This is splendid here. The Mormons. Oh, they must be panicked when he gets off the plane. What the hell is that? What is going on, man?

So their coach here, David Rose, who's actually an ex-college ball player of some note from the 80s, played on the Houston basketball team that lost to the North Carolina State team in the national championship game on a buzzer beater. He was a guard on that team. He's pretty silver, this guy. We'll talk about him later. He says, quote, Keon's stronger than he looks, but he really doesn't like a lot of contact. He likes to get up and down the floor, catch it on the move, and finish the break. Okay. So he's one of these guys who likes to play a running game. He'd be much

better suited for today's NBA. This is the prototypical guy they want today. A 6'11 guy who runs the floor well and plays the break well and can score in transition. Not like they used to be back then in the mid-90s. They wanted Patrick Ewing that you could throw

it in the post and he'll back his guy down and bump him and come in and throw a hook shot up. That's not his game. The reason Manute Boll and Sean fucking— Yeah. Sean— Bradley. Bradley. We'll have contact with him later.

The reason they didn't last in the NBA. Yeah. Granted, their knees fucking gave out, but their knees gave out because fucking Patrick Ewing was battling them in the paint. This is nowadays the type of big man they look for, is a Keon Clark type of guy, but obviously with more focus on the game and that sort of thing. Taylor Swift is soaring high.

Her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show, Business Wars. We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time.

And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that.

Bing! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me.

Leave her. Leave her alone. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin.

His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award-winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystaleline for the door. The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I know that? I have crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season.

It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. And now back to the show. Dixie State is a small school, 9,000 student school, so pretty small. It's a Division II school, not Division I. That year he plays in 17 games for them, only scores 15.2 points a game.

So it doesn't go crazy spectacular with that. But that gets him enough notice. I guess you're just trying to get tape on yourself, I think. I really think. Like a sizzle reel? Yeah, it's exactly what it is. You're looking for like if you're an actor, you're looking for like a reel or whatever. That's what it is.

Like you need a reel that you can send out. Showcase your talent. Showcase, yeah, to say, hey, look what I can do to get people wet for you, I guess, and get bigger schools wet. And he does get one of them. Okay. And also, too, if we're going to talk about crime and sports, this is one of those schools where it's like, well, obviously he went there. This is perfect. We know what's going to happen now.

He goes to UNLV. Oh, boy. Which is always in trouble for this or that or sanctions for something. Scumbags. Crookedness. It's all crooked. By the way, I loved UNLV when I was a kid. I did, too.

Like 89, 90, the Larry Johnson, the running rebels. They were fucking awesome. They were badass. By the way, I loved UNLV when I was a kid. I did too. Like 89, 90, the Larry Johnson, the running rebels. They were fucking awesome. They were badass. They were badass, yeah. If you were a kid. If you like tough guys

and bad guys in basketball, that's who you like. You like them. I hated Duke. I was a Duke hater. I don't see fucking Christian Laitner. No, I don't see that at all. Eat dicks.

No, I wanted to see people. I wanted to see Larry Johnson. I wanted to see Grandma Ma dunking on people. That's all I wanted to see. That big fucking gap. Larry Johnson. I want to see Grandma Ma dunking on people. That's all I want to see. The big fucking gap. That's it, man. That's the shit there.

So he goes to UNLV, which is a big university, though. I mean, that's a big famous basketball program. Jerry Tarkanian was there. Not at the time, but he was there before that, before all of his had to leave for all of his infractions. So the 96, 97 team. Because he's a badass. He's a badass, yeah. And it's college sports.

That's the home of the silver-haired, middle-aged white man. You're not playing if you're not cheating. That's right. Yes, it's people doing whatever they can to extract everything they can for themselves. That's all college is. Just turn everyone upside down and we keep all the money. And later you'll keep yours. And later maybe you'll keep yours, possibly.

If you break your leg, I don't know, we'll send you home. It's not my fault. Hey, you know what? Your scholarship does have limitations here. We're not going to just teach you things. You're going to have to do things for us, like dunk basketball. We're not interested in you as a human. Win games and put asses in seats.

That's right. That's your job. Well, he does that this year for them. In UNLV in 96-97, he plays in 29 games, which is basically the whole season. 21.1 points a game. That's awesome. In Division I. In college, that's big. Even in the NBA, that's a lot.

But in college, that's a real lot because they only play for 40 minutes. So that's a lot of points. 14.2 rebounds a game. Wow. That's not bad. 1.6 assists. He can pass rebounds a game. Wow. That's not bad. 1.6 assists. He can pass it around a little. And he likes to pass, he says.

That's what I like about college basketball. It's not the fast pace and all. It's that there are misses. Like in the NBA, yeah, there's missing. But if you leave a guy open for a 14-foot jump shot, it's going in. He's not missing that. That's it. If you're not having a hand right up his ass, it's going in.

In college, he'll fucking miss it six out of ten times. Absolutely. And it's amazing. And the guy will try to get the rebound, and he'll miss it, and it's a fucking mess. And then back down the court. It's fucking great. Because 90% of those guys will be selling insurance in three years. They're not going to be in the NBA.

Exactly. So, Keon, though, 1.6 assists, 1.1 steals, 5.5 blocks a game. Holy shit. That's obscene. Per game. Per game. I had to double check that reference. That's ridiculous.

I know it's on basketball reference, which is the most reputable site for stats, but no, I have to check this in three other places. That's how big this fucking guy is. Because that's obscene, 5.5 blocks a game. The team goes 22-10 that year, which isn't terrible. That's borderline tournament. They end up going to the NIT, though instead

the second-tier tournament. So he doesn't have anybody else on the team. That's basically it. So that's kind of what it was there. Yeah, they beat first round, they beat Memphis 66-62. They beat Hawaii 89-80. Everyone knows the basketball powerhouse that Hawaii is. The local

Polynesian talent's amazing. They're known for their basketball skills, really. They were the Rainbow Warriors back then, too, right? Because now they're just the Warriors. Took the rainbow off of there for politically correct. It was so stupid. Were people thinking you were gay? What's the problem here?

Is the rainbow really that fucking gay? No. They live in Hawaii. There's goddamn rainbows all over the place. It makes sense. You're the rainbow warriors. Just fucking be them. Who cares?

Jeez. And if they think you're gay, use that to your advantage. Yeah. That's all. When you line up, be like, hey, start across the line. They'll be like, what the fuck is going on? I'm going to tickle your balls. And then you run right through the line and you get a touchdown.

Use their homophobia against them if you have to. I don't care. After this game, we're going to fuck all of you. We're going to win games. We're going to celebrate by spit roasting you. That's what's going to happen. A cock in your mouth, a cock in your ass. Let's do it.

We're spit roasting you. That's right. I think we just made that. Jimmy's explanation. I love how he had to explain that to you guys in case none of you have heard that terminology before. That's the best part. You none of you have heard that terminology before. That's the best part. You're going to have three guys spin you.

Yeah, so there you go. All right. He's drawing a diagram right now. We'll post it on social media. He's furiously scribbling away over there. It's insane. Oh, Jesus. I just wanted to make sure people knew.

They need to know. They need to know. They need to know. So they go all the way through in this tournament to the third round where they lose to Arkansas, which is a real program with, I think, Nolan Richardson was still coaching then. 86 to 73, they lose to them. Got it. So, you know, they go into the NIT, whatever. Now, Coach Bill Baino, who is the very silver, he's going to have silver moments later

on, excessively silver gentleman here, the coach of UNLV, he says that he wasn't just a great basketball player, he was just a great guy, and he was good at everything. He says, quote, I remember for the first time I saw him hit a golf ball. I went, holy shit!

It was pretty easy for him. He was the best at everything we did. We It was pretty easy for him. He was the best at everything we did. We took the team out for bowling. He was the best bowler. We drove race cars out at the mini Grand Prix. He was the best at that. We played softball. He could hit a softball 400 feet.

It's true. Athletically, this guy is amazing. He's 6'10", highly coordinated. At this point, he is skilled. Like, he's a skilled, like I said, the NBA would love him right now. He's a skilled guy that can run. He can pass. He's good with his hands.

For a guy who's 6'11", he's got amazing athletic ability. He's got a 40-inch vertical jump at 6'11", with a 7'5 wingspan. You don't need that. That's unfair. That's how you get five and a half blocks a game. Sweet Christ. Because you can get four feet above the rim and just take everything out of the sky. You can put your face in the net.

Yeah, easy. It's ridiculous. Like over the rim, I mean. It's nuts. You can dunk your neck over the rim. Yeah, and hang yourself. Unbelievable. Maybe that's what he should have done.

He wouldn't have this fucking episode. But that would have been bad for everybody out there because we're having a good time. Also, too, all the teammates thought he was funny because he did, I guess, a perfect Coach Bill Baino impression. He was the guy who could really do a good impersonation. Crack the team up. 97-98 UNLV again. There's a player on the team named Greedy Daniels

by the way, which might be the greatest point guard name in the history of the sport. He's listed on Basketball Reference as Greedy Daniels, which like I said, might be the best point guard name ever. Because that's like, I picture that like a real defensive wizard. You know what I mean?

He's greedy. He's so greedy. He's stealing them balls from you. He's going to take that ball from you. He needs the ball. He's greedy. He's stealing it from that defensive. That's what I picture. He only plays 10 games this year. He has some problems. Let's see here. One of the main problems here is he goes to Florida for spring break in his junior year.

Oh, no. Okay. He goes with teammate Kevin Simmons, and Kevin Simmons tells Clark that he's got a way for the two of them to get to Florida for free for spring break. Okay. Clark said, sure, let's do it. He wanted to have a good time. It involves a lot of cocaine.

Well, what it involves is, we'll put it this way. He says, quote, we got picked up in a limo and we got wined and dined, and then it was like, oh, boy, we're in trouble. You know why they're in trouble? Because you know who's sending them to Florida, giving them whining and dining and limo? A fucking agent, of course. Oh, Jesus.

Of course, an agent. A scumbag, piece of shit, silver-haired, middle-aged agent comes in here. And they're kids, and I get it. Yeah. They're going to go, yeah, right? But you got to know that you're going to get in trouble. Clark said he didn't know it was from the... Who gets in a limo with all this shit and he doesn't just go, who is buying this for us?

Who's paying for this? Because guess what? I can't can't do it yeah i don't have if are they expecting me to like pony up are they going to come to me afterwards go that'll be 300 because i don't have the money for that you know like this is that's what that's what i would be worried about do we pay at the end it's kevin hart when mckay pfeiffer invited him to to disneyland with his daughter i don't know this reference at all. Mekhi Pfeiffer rented out Disneyland for his daughter. Oh, this is a real life. I thought you meant in a movie.

No, no, no. Kevin Hart showed up and he was like. I know exactly what you're talking about. I honestly thought it was in a movie. I'm checking in the savings. I can't pay for this. Yeah, like I don't know. Where's everybody else at?

No, no, they closed it for us. I can't pay for this. I can't do this. That's the behavior you should be doing. That's how I feel. Why do I have champagne? Why do I have food here? Yeah, what's happening? A limo. I can't afford this. That's the behavior you should be doing. That's how I feel. Why do I have champagne? Why do I have food here? What's this limo?

Listen, I can't pay for this shit. I can't afford a plane ticket. Before I get in that limo, I want everybody here to know I'm not paying for that because I can't. That's what I'm saying, man. So it's, oof. He says now, he said once he realized it, then he said, oh, boy, we're in trouble once he realized it was an agent. I don't think so. He said he called his mother, Cynthia Brown. I have a feeling he did.

Well, he probably did. Yeah, he called her. She's going to tell him how to get out of it. She said that she called Bill Baino, the coach there, and said that Clark and Simmons and Baino said that they need to turn themselves into the NCAA because this was after they had been

so fucked, UNLV, for years and they had been banned from tournaments and everything else. And he's like, oh, we're finally allowed to do things and be on TV and shit. He's got to go now and turn himself in. And he can't be known to say, yeah, we'll cover it up because then he's in trouble too. So he's just like, yeah, turn yourself in. Clark says, quote, I was like, oh, no, we can't do that.

We're UNLV. Ever since Tark, Jerry Tarkanian, was here, the school has had a tarnished reputation with the NCAA. We're not going to get a break, he says. So, yeah, that's what they said. So he's telling his mom the whole deal. But eventually he ends up going to the NCAA, and they end up suspending him pretty good. They bang him pretty good. They give him an 11-game suspension for that, which is actually not that terrible, I don't think.

Did he at least stay in Florida and enjoy the vacation? Yeah, no, he went on a vacation. He had a good time. Then afterwards was like, oh, I guess this was bad. I don't think so. What the fuck? He didn't. And he said about it, for the 11-game suspension, he said, quote, 11 games, that was a lot worse than I thought it would be.

Which, no. He said Coach Baino and I were thinking three or four games. 11 games, that was tough. Okay. Bullshit. His buddy Simmons there got 14 games out. Yeah, that sounds more like it. You went down to Florida and accepted this shit.

How could you even, how could you do that knowing what UNLV's been through? Now, in between that, when he comes back and what's about to happen, he plays in 10 games, scores 14.8 points a game, three rebounds, 1.9 assists. That's his stats. Not too bad, but nothing like last year. But it doesn't matter because he's distracted. On February 10th, 1998, he's test positive for marijuana, which you're not allowed to do. Get it? You want to smoke some weed? That's fine. Not allowed to do it in that situation, idiot.

So he tests positive, which then they go to suspend him again for this. He says, Clark says about the whole thing, let's do in their own words on this bad boy. In their own words, quote, it was just me and it was a mistake. Basically, I wasn't allowed to better myself. I couldn't do individual workouts. I could lift weights and that kind of thing, but I couldn't

practice and that hurt. So he was very upset that now he couldn't practice with the team anymore. But now he's suspended and spring break is coming up. So he doesn't give a shit. He doesn't care. But what he decides is he's like, I don't want to wait. I got to bench 10 games. He's like, no, no, no, no. I'm leaving school. I'm going to prepare for my NBA career. Really? I'm going to leave school. So he leaves school.

He's done. Yeah. That's a fucking interesting strategy. He said, I'm going to go get prepared. In other words, I'm not going to go to class. So if they're not going to let me go to school, why am I going to be here? Which makes sense. He says, quote, I definitely feel like I let my team down.

I came back because I thought we could win. I wanted a ring because he came back out for a senior year he could have left last year after 5.5 blocks a game probably should have been a first round draft pick probably uh the uh unlv ends up going uh ends up losing to princeton in the first round of the ncaa tournament so that is an odd princeton beating unlv is funny that's just funny. Doesn't happen. Yeah, exactly. One NBA general manager said watching the tournament, quote, they actually seem to get better without him. And that makes you wonder.

Oh, boy. So he's thought to be like a lottery pick. He's thought to be a high draft pick. And now they're like, well, his team got better without him. That's a little weird. Maybe we don't need him. That's what they're looking at here. He says everything would have been better if he went to Temple.

He says it's too bad. I probably wouldn't have had all the trouble in Las Vegas if I had just gone up to Temple in the first place. But you would have had to do schoolwork before that and whatever. The pre-draft scouting reports on him are not—they love his athletic ability. Here's one I'll give, just a quick one here, pre-draft scouting report. Quote, Keon is the most athletic big man and by far the best shot blocker in the draft. That is why at the beginning of the season he was ranked as high as the second best senior in college. Only played 10 games this season and was not as good as advertised.

He is at least 6'11", has long arms, and can jump out of the building. His potential is enormous, but will he ever fill it? He doesn't have much of a post-up game. His shot is flat, and he is awful at the free throw line. He drifts in and out of games. Being a lefty is to his advantage. The bust factor is very big on this guy, and he has the biggest hit-or-miss prospect of the draft.

Clark is expected to go between pick four and pick eight, but I see him slipping down come draft time. Wow. So that's what they're talking about. That's some great fucking review, though. Expected to go between fourth and eighth. Top ten draft pick. Yeah, he says, though, I don't think lottery teams will be able to pull the trigger. He will probably

slip down and go between ten and fifteen, which is still fucking amazing. Top fifteen draft pick is amazing. That's still guaranteed money in the first round, so that's fine. One NBA general manager said, quote, we like Keon a lot, but do you get the feeling he has trouble finishing things he started? That's what he told the press. Houston Rockets general manager Carol Dawson said, quote,

he can take an offensive rebound in one motion and funnel it back to the basket better than anyone I've seen in a long, long time. They want him. They like him a lot. Boston general manager Chris Wallace at the time said that Clark has immense athletic ability, maybe more than any other player in the draft. He was scheduled to go in for workouts and psychological exams and all that with eight teams. So a lot of teams are looking at him. He's a big man that is very athletic here. Did you say they do psychological workouts? Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh, they do psychological workouts. Yeah, they're investing millions of dollars.

Every team does. NFL does. NFL, forget about it. That's clearly post-Dennis Rodman, right? Well, this is 98-ish. They started doing that in the 80s. Really? The psychological things. Yeah, they wanted to make sure they didn't have a nutcase on their hands. I'm shocked by that.

Most of the time, they just ignore it. Yeah. And they go, we can fix it. That's the main thing here. We got pills for this shit. Yeah, we can do it. Now, he says, Clark says he liked the tour. He liked going.

He feels like he was winning over teams, winning over skeptics. He said, quote, I'm pretty sure I'm making a good impression wherever I go. All I know is when I leave, it's all smiles. He said, I don't care where I go. I just want to get a phone call and go on that stage and wear a hat. So he just wants – that's a good attitude. Perfect. It's true.

He's being compared to J.R. Ryder. That's not good. That's not perfect. No, that's terrible. That's terrible. He's being compared to J.R. Ryder, who we've covered. Also, J.R. Ryder is not a power forward, maybe a center. Oh, no, not on the court.

Off the court. Personality-wise. That's fucking horrific. That's terrible. That is not good at all. If you've heard our J.R. Ryder episode, you don't want to be. He is a fucking menace. Yeah.

He says that, he says, Clark says about it, quote, J.R. was J.R. I'm a different person. I never regret anything. I just try to.R. I'm a different person. I never regret anything. I just try to learn from everything I do, is what he says, which you should probably regret things, too. June 24th, 1998 is the NBA draft, 1998 draft at the General Motors place in Vancouver, British Columbia. We won't go over it too detailed because we've gone over this draft a couple times. Michael Oluwakandi was the number one pick.

Mike Bibby, Rafe LaFrance, Antoine James, Vince Carter. It's a problem draft. It's a problem draft. We went over this very recently. I think it was Marcus Bullard episode actually was the 98 draft where he didn't get drafted, I believe. Was it him or was it Crittenden? I think so. I think it was Bullard more recently. Crittenden might have come about then too. I actually think he

came 2001 or something. Anyway, because he was right when the Lakers were winning. So Dirk Nowitzki in this draft. That's a good one. A lot of great players in this draft, honestly. It's a pretty damn good draft. Orlando picks Keon with the No. 13 pick. Wow.

This is a trade. They got this pick from Washington in a trade. So that's No. 13 overall. Not too shabby. That's pretty damn good he's like uh you know four spots behind Dirk Nowitzki wow the hall of famer yeah three spots behind Paul Pierce whoa it's not too shabby so he he's in the mix of people great players yeah this is they're expecting something from him yeah if you get drafted in the top 15 they're expecting some

shit from you for sure June 28th 98 right after draft, he says he's a new man for the NBA. He says, he's done. I'm good now. I am good now. He says, quote, I just picked the wrong path to follow in my past. Everyone told me college was supposed to be the best time of your life. Well, I was just trying to enjoy the best time of my

life. It all blew up in my face. Full blast. No doubt. So, yeah. He said he likes making i like making a good pass i had one coach who called me the black bob koozie so he's saying all sorts of crazy shit now uh yeah he says uh i like when they say the black this or the white that yeah it's hilarious i just pictured bob koozie black which is hilarious i just darkened his skin doesn't look like a black guy. When it's a professional saying that, when it's a comedian, it's one thing.

Yeah. When it's a professional saying that shit, it's almost like, take it easy, slow down. That's a little weird. Hey, kid, you're the black Bob Cousy. When it's a coach especially, it's even weirder. He says about this, quote, some people wake up to basketball and go to bed thinking basketball. That wasn't me growing up. It wasn't my dream to be in the NBA.

Therefore, I don't hold myself in a manner that kept me on the right path. I didn't go around killing or robbing people, but I didn't conform to the norms of society, and I paid for it. Sweet Pete. What a fucking crazy thing to say out loud. It wasn't my dream to play in the NBA. Motherfucker, never say that aloud. ever ever that's not good you just broke so many hearts of people whose that was when they fucking can remember their first memory is wanting that dream right he's like i don't know i'm just

i'm kind of tall i got in here pretty tall so you know figured it'd be good you know they just said stand down there. So lucky Orlando. They're getting a new man here. 12-year-old me would punch him straight in the dick because it's eye level. Fuck that guy. Yeah, yeah, no shit. So, yeah, Orlando's lucky.

Getting a new man, getting dick punched, everything else here. Now, August 17th, 1998. This is two months after he's drafted. He's a new man. Remember, he's good now. Straight and narrow. Not the old path. No. God, no. He was on a bad path. It's all it was. It's bad.

It happens. Good now, though. We all realize this. August 17th, 1998, he is charged with choking and punching Cheryl Huffman, who's his girlfriend at the time in a domestic case. So there we go. So he's gone from I'm doing great to I'm going to choke and punch this woman who's in my

house. He found that old bad path. He absolutely did. And this is also he doesn't have a training camp to go to or anything because there's an NBA lockout strike, whatever going on. This is why the strike was going on. So he's got to wait to start in the NBA. He's waiting. whatever going on. This is when the strike was going on, so he's got to wait to start in the NBA.

He's waiting, he's waiting. On January 21st, 1999, with still a charge looming over him for punching a woman, season's about to start. He is traded by the Magic. They're like, I don't know, we'll change our minds. Never mind. Nudnik, get him out of here. Nudnikery.

He's traded by the Magic with Johnny Taylor to the Denver Nuggets for a first-round pick in the 2000 draft, later became Keon Dooling. So the 1998-99 season finally starts in 1999. He's in Denver. Meanwhile, we've now found two Keons. I've never heard of one. Yeah, this is nuts. A couple of Keons. In high school, they tried to call him Neon Keon, by the way.

Oh, those fucking assholes. No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't even. That's why I didn't bring it up. It's just embarrassing. That team, the Denver team, 98-99, had Chauncey Billups and Danny Fortson, Ray Flaffrentz, who got drafted this year, Antonio McDyess, Nick Van Atsel.

I loved McDyess, too. He was nasty. So, you know, a decent team, but nothing spectacular here. Some good parts to the team, but as a whole, not terrific. As a putting asses in seats team, that'll do it. It's a fun team to watch, it sounds like, but they're going to lose a lot of games. Yes, they aren't going to win a lot. No.

So that year he plays in 28 games, because it's a half a season, 14.6 minutes a game. They're easing him in. They're using him. 3.3 minutes a game, 3.4 rebounds, 1.1 blocks. Nothing terrific. The team is terrible. Yeah. They're repulsive.

They're absolutely awful. As a fan of everything Denver, that is essentially fucking every season. It hurts so much to be a Nuggets fan. Yeah, they're awful. You had that one year where they got that surprise playoff series win with Mutombo. Boykins was in there, too. With Mutombo laying on the floor. Right, right, right.

Yeah, it was like 93. Holding the ball on his face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And who was... I don't think there was many. I think Dale Ellis was on that team. And who was the little guy that changed his name for... That's the one, Mahmoud Raoula.

Yes. We talk about him all the time. Chris Jackson. Yes, Abdulraouf. We talk about him all the time. Chris Jackson. Yes, Chris Jackson. We talk about him all the time. We always bring him up whenever anybody's got a name. That's right. It was that team.

That was a fun little team to watch because it was so surprising. And you rooted for them because it was just a bunch of guys. It was a ragtag bunch of group. They were put together and they were decent. And then ever since then, it's just ouch. This year, this is quite the ragtag group as they go 14-36 in a 50-game season. put together and they were decent this team and then ever since then it's just ouch this year uh this is quite the ragtag group as they go 14 and 36 in a 50 game season under it's better that route and knowing that they're going to be shit and maybe they're good than getting like carmelo

anthony who's supposed to be like this well they drafted him which wasn't the bad draft like the next coming of everything they didn't know that he would turn into Carmelo Anthony. Yeah. No shit. I'm a Knicks fan, Jimmy. He fucking promises the world. Trust me. You get it. I get it, my friend. He promises the world and delivers you a shit sandwich.

Speaking of being a Knicks and Suns fan, the coach for this 14-36 team was Mike D'Antoni. Oh, my Christ. Which is fun. So they were definitely fun to watch. They were running around dunking and shit. It was a good time. So not great. They had 17 dunks in the game, but those

are the only shots. That's it. They lost 101 to 34. That's the problem. That's the issue. And zero for 19 at the free throw line. They were terrible. Terrible. So Keon makes a million dollars this year. That's great. So hey, not bad for a kid from the projects

who's making a million dollars. Sweet Pete. Doing great. August 27th, 99 is court for the 98 domestic violence problem here. Keon pleads guilty to simple battery in a plea bargain here. They reaffirm that he was choking and or punching Cheryl Hoffman. Yeah. I love that they throw or in there. Or and or. It doesn't matter which.

Either one. Justice of the Peace Doug Smith ordered Keon to donate $2,000 to the Shade Tree Shelter for Battered Women. If it's done by November 29th, the charge will be reduced to disorderly conduct after that. So he can't ask for much more than that for punching and choking a woman. That judge is a judge. Justice of the Peace. Doug Smith sounds pretty silver in my book. He sounds like Smith got something out of that.

I would say so. So minimum a dinner. So you get something or a nod and a thank you for Denver management here. Ninety nine tickets. There you go. Luxury box. Nineteen ninety nine. Two thousand Denver.

He plays in 81 games. Wow. So he's been there 81 out of 82 games. 20 games started that year also. So they started working him into the lineup. 22.8 minutes a game. 8.6 points per game. 6.2 rebounds per game.

Not bad. 0.9 assists. 1.4 blocks a game. That's great. Not bad. The team improved some. They shit-canned DeAntoni before that. They have Coach Dan Issel now there,

and they go 35-47 that year. Not great, but you know, come on. It's Denver. It's Denver. What do you want? They're better than the year before. That's not the team they want everybody watching in that town. No, exactly. It's just something to get in the avalanche right to, and they're usually good back in the day. No, exactly. It's just, it's something to get you through. And the avalanche are right, too, and they're usually good back in the day.

Yeah, around then, matter of fact, yeah. Keon makes $1,289,400 that year. He's getting a raise. Not too shabby. Yeah, his contract goes up every year, the rookie contract. February 29th of this year, in 2000, during the season, he has a son with a woman named Jamie Hall, who will be his longtime on-and-off disastrous relationship. Now, what do you think his name is?

Come on. No. Come on, Jimmy. He named him Keon Jr. Of course he named him Keon. Of course he named him Keon, Jimmy. This is the third Keon in the story. I've never heard of one.

You think he wasn't going to name him Keon? Do you think there's more Keon Clarks later? I fucking hope so. What do you think, guys, everybody? You think maybe there's a couple out there that we might have dug up? Let's find out. Let's see here. Fucking rule number one.

He's breaking that one here. He also says that when he turns pro and when he's playing, he says his drinking escalated. Of course. When he's playing. He said he needed to do it because he had to deal with the other players egos and quote sense of entitlement and he said the pressures that came with this money all of a sudden and sudden fame and constant attention uh he just felt he felt he was being taken advantage of and let's find it in their own words here about it in their own

words quote anytime i tried to talk somewhat to about it, they would say, man, what are you complaining for? You've got money. I used alcohol as a comfort, but it was an artificial comfort. The worst thing a person can say to someone who's addicted or in pain is stop doing it. No one ever asked, why are you doing this? I was drinking because I couldn't get any resolve for what I was going through. At the time, you don't even see you're making the same mistakes because you can't see the light. You were walking in darkness.

What you're going through? You're living a dream, you fucking asshole. They don't get that you're happy. You made $2.2 million in two years. That's fucking insane. That's insanity. That's what I mean. Think about it.

That's nuts fuck this people give us a dollar i'm like awesome can you believe it changed we got a dollar and this fucking asshole has 2.2 million of them through yeah nothing oh god fuck you keon uh well he'll get arrested a lot in this episode don't worry deal with other people's egos, don't hang out with them. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? I've got to deal with all these egos, and all I can do is drink myself into stupidity. That's all I can do. I have to kill myself slowly every day drinking. I have to.

Because I've got to listen to these egos. What else am I supposed to do? What the fuck? Play 60 Minutes and go the fuck home. How about that? That's something. 48, or at least. Yeah, 48 minutes.

It's four 12 minutes fucking. Fuck this guy. Over the next few years, he will have so much traffic shit. It's not even funny. Shit that we can't dig up. But I mean, it's not wearing a seatbelt, speeding, suspended license, driving the wrong way in a one-way street, always having a firearm when this is going on also. Sounds like somebody else's ego is out of control.

DUIs. I mean, anytime you get this guy in a car, it's not going to go well. It's going to be terrible. I don't know if it's because he can't fit in it, so he can't drive well or what. I don't get it. 2001 season. Start denver uh totally uh ends up with denver he plays in 35 games averages 6.5 points a game so they're not using him very much and there's a reason for that because they don't fucking want him yeah on january 12 2001 he's

traded by the nuggets with tracy murray uh for remember him, too. To the Raptors, to Toronto. You're going to Toronto. That's how Tracy Murray wound up there. That's how he ended up in Toronto. I liked that guy. And for a pick. For nothing. This is a big garbage exchange.

You need three guys, we need two. Let's change them and it's garbage. Toronto that year, he plays 46 games with Toronto for the rest of the season. This is the team they had Muggsy Bogues, Vince Carter, Chris Childs, gotta remember him from the Knicks, Antonio Davis, Mark Jackson. So weirdest looking man, Chris Childs. He is. I think, wait,

am I, is he the super light-skinned black guy? I don't think he's super light-skinned. Oh, I'm thinking of Christie. Yeah, you're thinking of Doug Christie. Doug Christie, yeah, yeah. That guy is a bizarre looking man. Del Curry's on this team. Steph Curry's father. Eric Montross and his big square cop head.

Sweet Pete. And Charles Oakley. I love Charles Oakley. Oh, was that the end of his career? We'll talk about him at some point. Kevin Willis is on that team. Oh, another guy. Mo Pete's on that team.

Morris Peterson. There is a basketball card of kevin willis dunking and in the dunk like i have the car i think i still have it in the dunk you can see his cock on the side of his thigh that's impressive and it's fucking enormous if you're dunking and people can see your giant cock that's the greatest poster ever because the shorts are like just like the air has been pressing against it. He's not wearing drawers or just wearing super loose boxers. His dick is in full fucking display, and it is unbelievable.

That's amazing. Good for him. Good for you. So February 2001, Jamie Hall, which is baby mama here, files a petition to establish a parent and child relationship on behalf of Keon, saying that he's the natural father and he would like whatever. March 23rd, 2001, Keon gets a Toronto Raptors franchise record for most blocks in one game. He gets 12 blocks against the Hawks, which is a shitload of blocks. You're just swatting everything away. The team that year finishes 47-35.

I think I remember that highlight on ESPN where they were doing the count of it. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I think I remember that. Just swatting shit away. Total for season for him, 81 games. He plays 21.2 minutes a game, 7.9 points, 5.4 rebounds, and 1.9 blocks. Decent backup center, but you kind of want more out of this explosive guy.

They beat the Knicks in the first round of the playoffs. How about that? It's so painful. Five-game series, 2-3 to 2. Wow. And they lose to the 76ers in seven games in the second round. I think the Sixers went on to get crushed by the Lakers that year, if I'm not mistaken. In the finals? Yeah, I believe so.

Clark, in the playoffs, only plays 9.4 minutes a game. So, in the playoffs, they were like, yeah, he's not important, really. So that's when they tighten the lineups, if you're the guy on the outs, they don't want you that much and don't need you. But they need you enough to pay you $1,379,400

for that season. He's already lived my dream. In three years, he's made $3 million. 3.5. He does it. Which is perfect because then you just pay the fucking taxes. Yeah. That's all I've got to make, James.

$3 million in my life and I'll be fine. Let's work on it. Unbelievable. So June 11, 2001, he's arrested for domestic battery and driving with a suspended license. That's everything. Everything he gets arrested for, you can always add and driving with a suspended license on the end of it because he's always driving and he never has a license, ever. So July 2001, he admits paternity of little Keon Jr. there. Oh, you mean the guy that's named after you?

Yeah, he named it after me. Fucking dipshit. after me. Fucking dipshit. August 2001, the trial, the court grants a temporary order granting Jamie Hall custody of Keon Jr., subject to his response for visitation rights. He's also ordered to pay $3,000 a month in temporary child support. Fuck. Two on the first of each month at that point, backdated to July 2001.

Ouch. Also, he's ordered to pay all medical expenses on behalf of him, which he should have pretty good insurance anyway through the NBA. That shouldn't be a problem. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault,

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You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. And now back to the show. The 2001-2002 Toronto season here. Now, March 7, 2002, there's a famous, famous dunk. It's the most famous highlight of his career where he absolutely throws down all over Sean Bradley. Really? Sean Bradley is 7'6 and the goofiest white guy.

He's a Mormon. He's known as the Stormin' Mormon was his nickname. Imagine a 7'6 Mormon trying to block an athletically gifted man from dunking. It's not pretty. Or trying to convert you. Yes. That's what he does. He blocks you and then he says, next time it'll go in the basket if you get with Jesus.

Now, come here. Let me tell you a little bit about this planet you get when you die. And you're like, what the fuck? Okay. Put on these magic underwear. Put on these underwear and we can have a nice conversation. He was a good shot blocker, though, Sean Bradley, because he was 7'6". He blocked him with his head by accident.

He didn't even have to jump. He just blocked him with his head. He was just standing there and a ball would hit him in the side of the head and they're like, that's a block. It's like, really? Awesome. I didn't even know that anyone was shooting. Terrific. I'm just in the way, basically.

That year, Keon ends up with 81 games played 31 games started so they're trying toronto 27 minutes a game which is getting there yeah 11.3 points 7.4 rebounds 1.1 assists 1.5 blocks so just not dominating just kind of in there uh he's a he's a backup he's a sixth man he's a seventh man uh team goes 42 and 40 uh which is good enough to make the playoffs which is terrible in the nba and in hockey you can be 500 i mean in the nfl once in a while a 500 team but this is like a lot of teams that are 42 and 40 make the playoffs barely 500 horse shit uh god they lose in the first round of the playoffs, as they fucking should, to Detroit. He did not.

That was the year with both the Wallaces, too. Yeah, yeah. That's why they lost. They were great. Clark plays 34.8 minutes a game in the playoff series. So they're trying to lean on him here. 13.4 points a game, 8 rebounds a game. He makes $1,971,163

that year. Oh my god. He's doing well. He's a free agent now. The contract's up. He's set to make a lot of money. He's a big man. He's made $5 million in his life already. He's going to go make a lot more than that in free agency. Toronto is negotiating with them, but there's a thing with the cap in the

offseason where it's supposed to raise a certain amount, and then they end up in negotiations. It doesn't get raised as much. So they have to rescind the offer they made to him because they don't have the cap space to pay him. But Orlando is interested in giving him big fucking money. They want to pay him. They want to bring him in.

They want a long-term deal. They want to lock him up. They traded him once, and now they want him back. They want to lock him up. They're in negotiations for a huge contract. Jimmy, grace. This is grace right here. It doesn't get any better than this.

Keon is in free agency, and we're at grace. About to get paid. Grace. July 31, 2002. Keon is cited for marijuana possession and must appear in court the next month. Oh, no. He had about a gram of marijuana in his car when he was pulled over for driving like an idiot and not having a goddamn

license. He wasn't arrested, but he is ticketed and released. The magic say, never mind that negotiation. You're an idiot. You can't even keep it together while we try to give you millions of dollars and negotiate. They pulled out. They said, never mind, asshole.

So there's grace right there. Holy shit. Over a gram of weed. Over. They pulled out. They said, never mind, asshole. So there's grace right there. Holy shit. Over a gram of weed. Over a gram of weed. Just could have left it at home. Nothing. No, it isn't. Nothing.

It's like two nuggets. Yeah. What a dick. Yeah, a couple of joints maybe. That's it. Now, over the summer here, while he's trying to get a contract, he hires a new agent, a guy named Terry Moore, who has operated a paint shop on East Main Street for 35 years in Danville. And that's his agent?

That's his agent. Holy shit. This Terry Moore's oldest son, Jim, and Keon were friends when they were 10. What? They played basketball together. They became good friends and all that. And Keon would come over to his house all the time. So he wants Terry Moore and his son Jim to look after his affairs.

His son Jim became a financial whiz, I guess, apparently. And he also has a contracting business in Indianapolis. So you're going to let a contractor from Indianapolis negotiate your NBA millions of dollar free agent deal. Did he at least call him Terry McGuire? Yeah, no shit. No, he's letting Jim negotiate. Yeah, and Terry's just like...

Terry's his dad, yeah. So he asked him to represent him. This is horrible. So first of all, he's like, you want me to represent you or you want me to put in that third bathroom in the thing? Which one do you want? Because I'm a contractor. This is so dumb. This is worse than Ricky Williams using williams using master p yeah at least master p probably has connections with people he hired agents master p to work for him this is just a contractor from

indianapolis he signs as a free agent with the sacramento kings wow it's a two-year deal uh it's kind of stupid though how long did it take terry Terry and Jim to get a hold of the fucking Kings? Guys, no, I really represent a guy. Seriously. Seriously. All right, when you're ready to negotiate, here's my business card. Yeah. This says...

I don't want any granite work. What are you talking about? I need no grout. What are you talking about? Jesus Christ, man. So he signed with the Kings here. It's a two-year deal. Jim says, quote, Morris says, quote,

I would have gone with a longer deal, but Keon didn't want it to be guaranteed. I can't say exactly why that was, but here's the kicker. Keon would still be getting $5 million a year if he'd done that. He didn't want a long-term guaranteed deal. What? He wanted options. Okay. He wanted

a deal that gave him a player option after every year okay rather than a guaranteed 25 million dollar five-year contract he's a complete that's so stupid dumbest thing ever this is what i mean you're a fuck up sir stick with the guarantee but as it's being once it's all set and everything uh keon pulls uh pulls his contractor agent buddy aside here and said that he wasn't comfortable with the four percent agreement for because the nba agents get four percent uh he says that uh you're not an agent you're a grout guy i'm gonna give you two percent this guy says look we'll work out a payment arrangement later but let's just get it under contract and i don't

really care uh so he did and uh he never gave uh the guy never paid terry shit no he says here's the best way to put it as moore says keon doesn't believe agents should get that much money he thinks all they do is make phone calls uh and that was it he also he's also been known to uh not pay attorneys and also been known to have people come after him, such as landscapers and even carpet cleaning companies. He doesn't pay his bills. He will not pay his fucking bills. It's a completely normal thing. He just takes shit he thinks that shouldn't be paid for.

That's it. I think this should be mine, so I'm keeping it. He goes to Sacramento that year. That's Mike Bibby, Doug Christie. That's the team that would lose to the Lakers in the playoffs. There's Doug Christie. There's Doug Christie. October 2002, child support court.

Let's do this here. Child support court. This is interesting here because I got court documents on this bad boy, and it is interesting. What he's saying is, first, they lived together, him and Jamie Hall, from March 99 to September 2000. They lived in a four-bedroom apartment, which I don't know where you find one of those, but wow. He paid $2,200 a month for that, which I think is neat, just finding out NBA players.

How was he doing here? She worked at Methodist Hospital, earning $9.93 an hour. What? Yeah. And also, she was in a graphic design program at Ivy Tech State College. This is a CNA.

She graduated. Yeah, also that. Her net monthly income was $731.64. Her expenses were $4,220.97. That doesn't add up. No. She estimated that she spent about $1,000 a month for Keon Jr., but she was estimating that she really didn't have any idea, she

said. So she also says that he does not, he never got, Keon never got health insurance for Keon Jr. and has not paid any of the medical expenses for him so far. Because that shouldn't be paid for. Yeah. He listed $16,246.32 as monthly expenses. $3,000 of it was child support. Out of $58,404.75 of monthly income.

Wow. Yeah, which is... That's ends are meeting like a motherfucker. Ends are meeting like a motherfucker, as Eddie Murphy would say. Yeah, he has a gross income of $1.4 million from before they were talking about. Now, what he says is, I'm not paying for your lifestyle, and I'm not paying for your other kid. That's his argument, is what the fuck here. Basically, they're saying how the child lived a certain way and then left,

and now you're not supposed to be able to make sure the kid lives in luxury, but it's supposed to be a minimal level of comfort, especially if you're living, you know, making millions of dollars here. He says that the child support that she wants exceeds the needs of Keon Jr., which is ridiculous. He's saying that no duty exists on the part of him to support her or her other children, just his own son. Right. But they find that that's not – he tries to cite legal precedent and everything as lawyers. Oh, God, Jesus. Yeah, that's own son. Right. But they find that that's not, that's, he tries to cite legal precedent and everything as lawyers. And they were like, yeah, that's not the same case.

They said not an analogous case. Nevermind here. So on November 1st, 2002, she also requests attorney fees of $4,387, which they grant. And on November 15th, he files a notice of appeal, blah, blah, blah. which they grant. And on November 15th, he files a notice of appeal, blah, blah, blah. But it doesn't matter because the child support is now set at $8,500 a month. Fuck.

Retroactive to March 1st, 2001. No. So that goes back a year and a half, too. Oh, God damn it. And also he has to pay her attorney fees. Oh, my God. So, yeah. So then they also have another notice of a hearing for the whole thing on December 5, 2002, which he does not show up for at all.

He's so dumb. He's an idiot. He does play basketball that year. Of course. 80 games, 11 games started. 6.7 points, 5.6 rebounds, 1.9 blocks. Not doing great. That is not good.

Team finishes 59-23. That's good. Not bad at all. They beat the Utah Jazz 4-1 in the first round. They lose to Dallas in seven games in the second round. Keon only plays 14.3 minutes per game in the playoffs. But that doesn't really matter because he makes $4,546,000 that year. Not too shabby, man.

Damn it. Things are about to get weird. July 15, 2003 his father John Earl Clark is jailed for first degree murder. First degree murder for shooting an acquaintance. Jailed without bond. Apparently police showed up

to find a 27 year old man laying in the street. A guy named Clarence Cunningham. The ambulance got there and they rushed him to the hospital. He's pronounced dead at 424 a.m. This is in like the middle of the night, too. God damn it. Yeah, it's crazy.

What ends up happening is he ends up being the one to call the police and turn himself in as the father. Really? They went to the location and he was standing there and he went voluntarily. Apparently, they had a confrontation early, late at night, whatever. It was something about a bicycle, possibly. And he shot him multiple times and killed this man. That was what that's all they could get out of it.

Over a bicycle. Possibly a bicycle. There's a hearing set for July 31st. Now, two days later, Keon is arrested for domestic battery. The prosecutors say he hit a family member at his home. He pleads not guilty and posts $300 bail and is ordered by the judge not to have contact with the victim or the victim's residence. So August 5th, 2003, Sacramento with a hot commodity here.

Yeah, no doubt. Yeah. They trade him. They're going to trade him to the Utah Jazz because that's where you want to be if you're having a lot of problems. Once again, Utah. Stand out. That's better. Christ, they couldn't have put him in fucking Atlanta or somewhere where he could at least blend in a little bit?

This guy's got to be sore thumb. So he starts with the season 2003-2004 with Utah. He has ankle surgery, though, very early on. So that's a problem. It's a good ankle surgery, too. Like, it's a deep one. It's a deep one. He's out for months.

Now, December 13, 2003, Keon Clark's dad is found guilty of first-degree murder. Guilty of first-degree murder. Apparently, Cunningham borrowed his bicycle, and when he returned it, he threw it down and kicked it. and when he returned it, he threw it down and kicked it. So Clark rode his bicycle to his aunt's house where he got a.22 caliber revolver and went over to Cunningham's apartment and shot him twice. Wow. You kicked my bicycle.

I'm going to kill you. Not only am I so mad I'm going to pull a gun out and shoot you now, I'm going to ride to someone's house, get a gun, then ride back to your house and then shoot you. How dare you kick my bicycle, motherfucker? Like, really? That's a bicycle. That's crazy.

Yeah, so sentencing is coming up soon here. That year, he only plays in two games for Utah, 13.5 minutes a game, two points. Does nothing. February 12, 2004, his father is sentenced to 65 years in prison. Wow. No possibility of parole for 65 years of prison. It's over. For his dad.

So his dad's gone, which is probably better for Keon. Anyway, February 19th, a week later, Keon is traded by the Jazz to the Phoenix Suns. He played for Phoenix. Well, he didn't play for Phoenix. He came to Phoenix. He was on the roster. What he did was he came to Phoenix in exchange for Phoenix dumping Tom Gugliotta's expensive contract. Oh, is that what happened?

That's what happened. That was then? So they got rid of him. Hilarious. Yeah, it's for Gugliotta and a first-round pick. He never plays a game for the Suns ever. March 2004, he's facing misdemeanor charges for disorderly conduct. Jesus.

He makes $5,600,000 for two games that year. $5,000,000. He scored four points that season. $5,600,000. More games that year. $5 million. He scored four points that season. He got one point. $5,600,000. He got more than a million a point. More than a million a point. More than a million a point.

That's obscene. Oh, my God. He played 13 minutes, and he got paid almost half a million dollars a minute. That's all right. Look at that hourly. Make like $30 million an hour. You know how it goes. Wow. Totalsals for his career because his career is fucking over fuck yeah it is totals 353 games 65 games started 8.2 minutes a game 5.9 rebounds and 1.6 blocks not an impressive

stat line but what is impressive is 15 million 186 thousand five hundred sixty three dollars nothing okay now we have a lot to cover here that's going to come up here pretty soon made But what is impressive is $15,186,563. For doing nothing. Okay. Now, we have a lot to cover here that's going to come up here pretty soon. He made $15 million. Yes. That's batshit that he made that. What the fuck?

For really doing nothing whatsoever. September 23, 2004, Clark is supposed to try out with the Cavaliers. Elgouskis is hurt. They need a center. It says in the Cleveland newspaper, the signing appears eminent. So that's it here. Right after that, he moves home to Danville, breaks that rule here, and gets busted for misdemeanor charges of possessing marijuana in a nearby town of Fountain. What a dipshit.

He says after this, when he moved home, he, quote, quote, I spent a lot of time not taking care of my responsibilities. And he just played golf and alcohol and drank alcohol to, quote, numb the pain. Yeah. That's all he was doing. So Cleveland, after a minute, says they're not interested because he got busted. Right. January 17th, 2005.

What team would possibly be interested in this? The Knicks, of course. The fucking Knicks. Assholes. Breaking my heart for my entire life. Isaiah Thomas, GM, says he reportedly contacted Clark. And he doesn't know how. He hasn't been signed somewhere else, he says.

Is that right? I don't know. Maybe. Fuck. Who knows? He's been arrested a bunch? That's a possibility. Yeah.

After he got busted, by the way, the Cavs GM who was looking at him, he said, quote, Keon is not coming. Write it down. He ain't coming. I'm not interested in that motherfucker. So, 2005 now. He is living at home, breaking all the rules, named his kid Junior. He is arrested for misdemeanor battery and domestic battery in nearby Marion.

This involves Jamie Hall, the mother of his son, of course. They live in Indianapolis, the mother and son. And apparently every time he takes trips to Indianapolis, they all end up fighting and yelling and fighting over the child support. And it turns into a big mess. And it just escalated into something physical. September 7, 2005, he's at a Steak and Shake in Danville. Of course he is. Of course.

He's at a Steak and Shake down the street from the YMCA, where he hung out at there, doing that whole thing. So he's hanging out at the Steak and Shake. Now, let's let a cop, the Sheriff Hartzorn, let's let him describe it. He says, quote, you have two uniformed cops in the restaurant at 2 or 3 in the morning having dinner or whatever. You call it at 3 a.m. There are marked cars in the parking lot and two uniformed officers inside. Keon comes in, and there's one of those plastic signs that says wet floor and he comes in

and trips over the sign. Then he screams and yells about employees putting the sign there and he wants service and here's two uniformed officers sitting in the restaurant. He's raising hell with the staff and yells the hell with you. I'm not buying anything here. Then leaves gets in a car in front of the police officers and drive off. So they get in their squad car and follow him for two blocks. And what happens?

He says they pull him over because he was drunk as shit. Yeah. Officer Jane McFadden and Rhonda Swisher reported that Clark looked disheveled and they had tailed Clark until his car severely cut a corner while making a turn on the Ferndale Avenue, which is the street going on to the street where he lives. His license was obviously suspended, clearly. And when they search his Mercedes, they find an unlicensed handgun, some weed in the trunk, and cocaine in the passenger side glove compartment.

Of course he's got cocaine. The only thing missing from his fucking story has been cocaine so far. And there it is. Hey, yay, Keon, you did it. What the fuck, Keon's it's it's fucking nuts man uh the prosecutor said he was actually once a big keon clark fan uh and even has a signed toronto raptors cap from him back in the day wow but he's still gonna prosecute him yeah of course uh yeah so he's a complete moron they seize seize his Mercedes because he's an idiot. They end up auctioning it off.

They auctioned off? Well, because he had cocaine on him. Part of the Illinois Drug Asset Forfeiture Procedure Act allows them to collect property for this. And they sell it off to a guy in California for $45,100. That's a deal. They sell his Mercedes. Yeah. So November 14, 2005, moves back in with his mother.

God damn it. Jesus. Bad sign. How far has he fallen? This is the house his mother lives in. It's on the outskirts of Danville, beyond the city limits. She owns it because he paid for it. Yeah.

He says at this point, makes an announcement that he's done with the NBA. Is he done? Jimmy, I'd like to make an announcement. I'm done with the NBA. Is he done? Jimmy, I'd like to make an announcement. I'm done with the NBA right now. Anybody who's considering signing me, take me off of your list because I'm not playing. I'm done. You done with the NBA, Jimmy? Listen, James, I'm done with the NFL.

Okay, Jimmy's done with you guys, NFL, in case you were considering signing him. Nobody, stop calling. Please stop calling. It's over. I'm not coming. He's not. He doesn't want to do it. Write's over. I'm not coming. I'm not coming. He doesn't want to do it. Write it down.

I'm not coming. Maybe Canada. Maybe Canada. Maybe your teams. We'll see. What the fuck? He says he's happy. You live with your mom, Keon.

I think the NBA is done with you. Probably. He says he's happy. He doesn't have to worry about dress codes and shit anymore. He says, quote, I'm just trying to live my life without nobody telling me what I got to wear. You live with your mom. She'll tell you whatever she wants. Yep.

He says he's out on the bond. He said jail ain't built for 6'11 guys. I'll put it like this. When I was lying on the bed, I had my feet out of the bars. I believe that. That's because you're 6'11. Maybe you should have thought about that for you broke the fucking law yeah no shit uh his neighbor bob irvin yeah uh just is defending him he says quote i think

he was surrounded by a bunch of phonies i think he got too much too fast but i never personally had any trouble with him at all too much too fast five years 15 million fucking dollars yeah no that's not too much too fast he made too much 15 million fucking dollars. Yeah, no shit. That's not too much, too fast. He made too much. That's all. Listen to this, how crazy they were. While he was here, the Cavs were looking at him. He said he had a scout from the Cavs, the neighbor, pull up while he was picking blackberries

and ask questions about Keon Clark. I'm going to ask some random old man picking blackberries about a guy. This guy's trying to make a pie. I'm going to ask him some questions. Jesus Christ, man. blackberries about a guy trying to make a pie i'm gonna ask him some questions jesus christ man so he january 24 2006 he's supposed to have a trial and it's moved to may 1st he's got a new attorney in the whole deal yeah he faces charges of possession of a firearm without a firearm owner identification card two counts of possession of a controlled substance and one count of

possession of marijuana uh there two of those are felony charges. They're class three and class four felonies. He's facing two to five years sentence in the state prison, plus one year of mandatory supervised release and a fine of up to $25,000. I don't think he has it. Yeah. And if warranted, the sentence can be extended up to 10 years if he doesn't do the things he can do. Yeah. So that's tough.

Class four felonies carries a sentence of one to three years in prison with one year mandatory. And that can be extended up to six years. May 2006, trials moved to August. August 2006, before this alleged trial, it's supposed to happen. He's arrested for driving with a suspended license. He's so dumb. But what he does the next day, he's in court and he's defending himself. Oh, no.

He now doesn't have a lawyer. I'll tell you back. He's not dumb. He's complete fucking stupid. Yeah. He was arrested at this point. Says that he didn't want to be booked. He refused to be searched.

He fought with the cops. He resisted arrest. The whole deal does he have brain damage i wish he did because it would make sense how is he doing what the fuck is fuck man so finally it's uh trial scheduled in august here he's going possession of marijuana two pounds we just went through the whole thing controlled substance ah he doesn't show up skips out out on that. Skips out on that. I can't be sure. I got shit to do. I got to go pick blackberries and hit golf balls and shit.

God, he's so dumb. December 2006, he says he's suing the county. For what? He says, without cause, a sheriff's deputy and two correctional officers used excessive force. Yeah, it says in the documents. Was that in the fight? Yeah, in the last arrest. It says in the documents they, quote, tripped Clark, slammed Clark's head on the counter, moved Clark's arms while still in handcuffs behind his back, up over his head, took his clothes off to search him, and intentionally stepped on Clark's shin over a large bandaged area.

So they say he abused him. They say that they did nothing. He's suing for emotional and physical damages. They say there's no merit at all to the case. He was resisting arrest and he got arrested and that's the only thing he had was handcuff bruises from getting him on tight because he wasn't cooperating. Because he's 6'11".

Plus, if you're moving around, it's hard to put him on nice. You just clack him on as hard as you can. Alright, asshole, there you go. Sit still. I would imagine anyway. February 2007, this is the same incident that the sheriff's office is now charging him criminally for I would imagine anyway. Right. February 2007, this is the same incident. The sheriff's office is now charging him criminally for resisting arrest. Wow.

Yeah. So early 2007, he's at his mom's house. You mean at home. He's at home. Where Danville police were called from a 911 call for domestic abuse. Keon is going nuts. And the cops come in and find him in the kitchen holding a handgun. Oh my god. Not terrific at this point.

They actually had to like, it was a tense thing to not shoot him in his own kitchen. And he eventually backed down and put the gun down, which is good for everybody. A little tense action there. May 16, 2007, he pleads guilty to cannabis and cocaine and no ID card for the gun and all that.

So the guilty plea here, it's two felony charges and a misdemeanor. He accepts a plea agreement, which the misdemeanor counts of driving with a suspended license and possession of cannabis are dismissed. So that's the deal. So that's good. You think he's going to – that's May 16th. Yeah. Keep fucking clear now.

No doubt. I'm good now. Get that behind me. May 18th, 2007, city police arrest Keyon Clark in the 300 block of Poland Road. Oh, my God. 1 p.m. in the middle of the day for driving because he's not allowed to drive. He was out around noon and he was seen driving in Danville. p.m. in the middle of the day for driving because he's not allowed to drive. He was out around noon and he was seen driving in Danville.

People all knew he wasn't allowed to drive and he was then located on foot by police a little later and they ended up arresting him. Can you imagine being arrested for driving? Just for driving. Oh, there he is again. There he is driving. It's like in The Wire when that kid would steal cars and he stole the one and the cop said, you motherfucker, went after him and ended up breaking his fingers in his left hand. He said, yeah, I'll see you pop a lock now, motherfucker.

Same type of thing here. So they end up catching him. He has warrants for failure to appear in court for another warrant for criminal trespassing and felony charge of driving after revocation. And he also has charges pending in Marion County on the battery and domestic charges, domestic battery charges. So he's spending a couple days in jail. I hope so. He's going to do a thing here.

And then he ends up getting out, though. Yeah. He ends up, they bonds out. May 2007, he gets a continuance in court. Judge Clary, who we'll hear plenty about here, Judge Clary allows him to enter a treatment center and to get a continuance in his case while he enters a treatment center, which is good.

The judge says, fine, if you're going to go to rehab, then we'll do a continuance and we'll deal with it when you're sober. He, of course, never shows up at rehab, obviously. He's like, oh, cool, I'm out of court. Good, I'll go do more coke and do shit like that. May 24th, 2007, a warrant is issued for his arrest on felony charges of drunk driving, since driving with a suspended license on a Sunday a couple weeks ago. What the fuck?

Yeah. So he's pled guilty to everything but not gone to court holy shit there are local newspaper had a uh a tag online at this point that was just kian watch where you can like find what the fuck's going on uh yeah i mean imagine being that much of a fuck up that the news is just like hashtag let's watch this guy let's watch this guy destroy himself uh the uh state's attorney in danville here a guy named frank young young said quote the boy is just self-destructing in public and it's painful you hate to see a young man destroy himself after he's worked so hard and accomplished so much 15 million dollars j. You're just going, wake up. No shit. Stop it, dummy. You have 15 million dollars.

Had. Had, yeah. August of 2007, he goes to court for the lawsuit against the sheriff's office. The sheriffs deny any wrongdoing. Clark said, quote, I feel it's just a farce because I was there. I have the battle scars to show it, and I have a witness who was dismayed, as was I. That's what he said. Now he can talk. Now he have a witness who was dismayed, as was I. That's what he's now. He can talk.

Now he's a fucking he's a scholar at this point. And they were all dismayed. They slammed me to the floor. The whole deal. He's one of those guys that uses the phrase at the same time to try to sound smart. Yeah. At the same time. At the same time.

It's fucking ridiculous. He then says to the judge, quote, I still have the scars from the handcuffs. I still don't have feeling in one of my thumbs and one of my fingers on the other hand. I don't have much feeling in. Judge said, case dismissed, Dickhead. Get out of here. We don't care. You're a moron.

I can't feel this hand. At the same time, I can't feel this hand. Well, you know what? Dismissed. They beat you up there, but they should have shot you in the kitchen. So we're going to call it a wash. We'll call it a draw. We're going to call it a wash. We'll call it a draw. We're going to call it a wash. How's that?

Everything's fine. You got away with one. Count your blessings, dickhead. Yeah, good job. Better to have a bruised wrist than get shot in the face. Ain't it nice to draw wind, you dumb fuck? Oh, my God. So, September 2007, he's in Champaign County for one of his many

felony cases. He's there. During the hearing, he collapses and suffers a, quote, apparent seizure. This is right after the judge denied a motion for a continuance in a sentencing hearing. So he was just about to be sentenced, and he went to the ground with a seizure. Yeah, right. so he was just about to be sentenced and he went to the ground with a seizure yeah right so they took him away by ambulance and uh they said his health has been a concern his lawyers have said he's clinically depressed and bipolar now they're saying he's bipolar and has a long history of drug and alcohol abuse yeah wow uh what a fucking mess next court date

uh he's sentenced to prison uh in uh in Champaign County for driving with a suspended license. This is the one that he passed out and whatever. He pleads guilty on that. He's sentenced to two and a half years in prison. My fuck. But they do it while he's not there because he's in absentia. He doesn't show up, but they sentence his ass anyway. He didn't show up.

He took off. He's like, fuck no. I got out of that with a seizure. I'm not going back. They're going to sentence me to prison. I'm not going there. What do you think he's doing right now? Oh, my God.

He's playing golf. Is he really? He's golfing. He's hanging out with his old coach, Gurley, there, silver-haired, middle-aged Danville. Oh, they're playing the whole deal. He says, Gurley said, what a great golfer he's become. He's very happy to do it. They're playing.

They were playing one course. They were playing at the Harrison Public Course, which they both liked. But where Clark's frequent drunken diatribes, as they put it, became too much for players and club officials to tolerate. His final act was on the ninth hole. to tolerate uh his final act was uh on the ninth hole he berated screamed at and threatened two gentlemen who were playing through who happened to be illinois state patrolman wow not smart holy shit so he uh also had gone to a place called turtle run which is a higher end place that girly and and he play at there and uh one of the ten he also got kicked out of that course. What do you say to two people that are playing through to make them so angry, or make them remember you, that you drunkenly berated them?

Six-foot-eleven dude screaming and threatening at them. What do you have to say for them to not ever forget it? Jesus Christ. So he's in Vermilion County now, or he's not, because October 2007, he's supposed to be in Vermilion County Courthouse on charges of possessing a firearm without identification. That whole thing, driving under the influence, cocaine, that whole deal. He doesn't show up there. No, of course not. He doesn't show up.

He's sentenced to another two and a half years on those charges. And then they also issue a fugitive warrant for him. He's got five years sentence looming, and he's got a warrant out for his arrest now. Well, what he does, he's got a system. He goes in. He bonds out before sentencing or whatever. He bonds out, and he pays his bond. That's all fine.

They take his money, but he just ignores the court then and fucking goes back to golfing and boozing. Wow. And fucking goes back to golfing and boozing. Yeah. He has paid at this point in 2007, he's paid about $100,000 in wasted bonds. Wow. Just to get out of shit and not have to go somewhere. October 10, 2007, a warrant's issued for his arrest, obviously.

I told you he was sentenced to two and a half years in absentia. No lawyer was present either. He didn't even send a lawyer in his place. Nothing. Absentia, no lawyer was present either. He didn't even send a lawyer in his place, nothing. Afterwards, what he says he did is he said he checked himself out of extended aftercare after he was tipped off that the feds were looking for him. And so he ends up taking off and going AWOL for about a week until October 18th when he's in Splendora, Texas, and U.S. Marshals pull him off of a Greyhound bus heading out of Houston.

Wow. He was on a Greyhound. Fucking terrible, man. Can you imagine? Yup. You used to have $15 million, and now you're riding a $39 ticket from Houston to where? Where the fuck was he going? They caught him about 34 miles northeast of Houston.

He was arrested without incident here. They weren't sure where he was going, but just somewhere. Just away from Houston. Away from Houston, yeah. The bus was going to Longview, Texas. I don't know if that was his, who knows if that was his final destination. I'm not sure or not. Longview.

So they take him in because he's wanted for all that. He's got a trial he was supposed to go to in August 2006 for possession of marijuana and all that stuff. So, yeah, he's doing that. So early December 2007, he's in court, obviously. He's talking to the judge. This is a preliminary hearing for a charge of aggravated driving and his black escalate after his license suspended uh this is very normal the law enforcement law enforcement officers call him a serial revoker uh he's been nabbed they say he's been nabbed

dozens of times for traffic violations over the years uh wow he shows up to court with no legal counsel whatsoever uh no legal counsel uh he's arguing with people the judge tells him quote i told you in your last appearance that you needed an attorney clark says quote sir i don't have a lawyer i was under the impression it was for the sentencing not for this hearing uh so the judge is pissed the judge says fine are you ready to proceed cl Clark says, no, sir. So, wow. Clary says, well, we're going to proceed in this matter, which is to show probable cause to bound you over for trial. So they say, yes, your honor. Then Clark proceeds in this hearing to get a cop on the stand and go after him.

The cop says that, you know, he stopped Clark's Escalade. He noticed expired license plates from Ontario, Canada. He didn't have a license after that. When he looked deeper, he found out he didn't have a license, blah, blah, blah. Clark says, quote, when you pulled me over, you were going the opposite direction as me on Oak Street. The officer says, no, actually, I was driving behind you, not the opposite direction. He's trying to, Clark's trying to establish that he couldn't have seen my license plate.

Basically, he says he pulled Clark over because of the plates. Clark says, quote, did you destroy the video of the incident, even though it could prove my guilt or innocence? And so they got the officer says, no, I didn't destroy any evidence. And so he says, yes, you did. And the judge says, that's argumentative. You can't do that. You're not a fucking lawyer, dummy. So he says, yes, you did. And the judge says, that's argumentative. You can't do that.

You're not a fucking lawyer, dummy. You did take like three criminal justice courses because he did in Danville College or Community College. But he didn't go to those classes and he's not a fucking lawyer. He's a moron. So he is bound over and he's in a jail cell for now. December 14th, 2007. He's awaiting treatment to get into a drug, an alcohol center. He comes out in a court hearing and says that he played. 2007. He's awaiting treatment to get into an alcohol center. He comes out in a court hearing and says that he played

since he stopped playing he has daily blackouts from drinking. He says that at this point he still, this is when he just got out of rehab, he says he still has beer goggles on because during the three day detox

he snuck in beers and chugged them. So he's still feeling like he has the effect of that going on. But beer goggles is when you fuck an ugly girl. Yeah, I don't know what he's thinking here. What is he talking about? I don't know what that is here. I have beer goggles on. I just banged the ugly janitor because I've been chugging beers for three days.

Yeah. What the fuck is he talking about? He goes on and on in this, too, and we'll find out when he played, he was a drunk. He said he had a pint of gin a day drinking habit when he played. He said he, quote, never played a game sober in his entire life. He'd even go get a buzz at halftime. Wow. He'd go drink at halftime.

He'd even go get a buzz at halftime. Wow. He'd go drink at halftime, he said. The judge here, Clary, ends up tossing his sentence from Vermilion County on carrying an unregistered firearm and felony drug charge and all of that, saying that he was sentenced in absentia and should have been given time to have his legal counsel review the case and be afforded a fair hearing at a later date. So they clear that off. It's basically just he has all these other things. He's also facing other charges of the possession of marijuana in 2004 and a battery and domestic violence. He's got so much that's stacked up.

Outside of the courtroom, a reporter talks to Keon's mother and introduces himself. And she says, quote, I know who you are. You wrote a bunch of negative stuff about Keon while he was in college. She's been Googling and following and remembering those people. I love it. She then goes off into the only reason all this is happening is because the town of Danville is a racist community and Keon's a product of the environment. She said, ask anybody.

They'll tell you that Danville's racist. She says that the judicial system, the local law enforcement officers, everybody, state's attorneys have been picking on Keon for both his color and his money out of pure jealousy. All right. God damn it. She says, get him out of jail. He needs to be in rehab. Bill Baino, the UNLV silver and Middle Age white man, he's checking in. He's

saying that he feels bad because he said that during this time he was an alcoholic when he was coaching Keon. Baino was? Yeah. He said, quote, had I been sober, I would have been able to help him more, but I was managing my own disease, and when you're doing that, it takes up all of your energy. So, you know, I didn't have time

to do any of that. But he does say, if you see Keon, give him my cell phone number, cell phone number please thanks great i can't believe he was drinking at halftime that's fucking insane that's just nuts man that is so crazy he's drinking at halftime gatorade or gin sir yeah which one would you like here now uh december 20th uh 2007 back in court okay uh he's this is the second court of the day uh he's in family court this time with Jamie Hall, who says that he owes her $34,000 in child support payments. So this is a fucking mess. Turns out, you'd think he's broke with his mom and all this type of shit.

He has $3.5 million in the bank. What? They find out through looking for his money. Yeah, he's got $3.5 million in the bank. He just hangs out. Wow. Lives with his mom. Has no bills. He has my dream. $3 million. He plays cheap golf

at the municipal course. Cheap greens fees. $12 a round. He doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, he's whatever. He's saying he shouldn't have to pay $8,500 a month, though, at this point. He says, in their own words, quote, that figure was based on an NBA lifestyle, which I haven't had in three years. And I have no reason to give the money over to a child I haven't seen for a year in his life and a year in my life.

This woman has three kids and only one of the kids is mine. She has two vehicles. Why should I be required to pay for all of this? Clary just stops him in the middle and goes again quote again you need an attorney you're asking me questions you should be asking your attorney dummy you have to pay for things right stupid i'm the judge not a fucking attorney for you dumb shit january 3rd 2008 goes to prison for for backshot support no for the other shit yeah Yeah, for one of the two two-and-a-half sentences sticks. And he goes, two-and-a-half-year sentences sticks, and he goes to prison.

Whoa. Fucking A. What a disaster. This has to be just like a... How did this happen? He needs just to catch his breath. Just to catch his breath. Right?

That's what I'm saying. Honestly. He's sitting there, and the prison's gross, too. He's made $15 million in his life. How did it happen? And the prison's all gross. And he's like, fuck. He complained to the wardens, too, that shit wasn't working right.

He's like, this fucking sucks. And as a guy comes to fix it, and it's Paul Calhoun, shit pipe enthusiast. And he says... How is it you come to arrive here, huh? Let me ask you a question. I'm serious, because I come in, I'm supposed to fix a couple of things, but I got a couple of questions for you. Let me tell you, I've been looking at a car, just looking around your cell.

It seems to me like the shit pipes of your life are all backed up, buddy. Your shit pipes are packed. How's your shit pipes? Your shit pipes are packed and I got to unclog them. I'm the only guy that can unclog your shit pipes. I'd offer to backhand your wife, but you already got that covered from what I understand reading through your records. So that's fine. If she doesn't need that, I think she's had enough problems with you.

But yeah, I would clean out the shit pipes of your life. But the problem is you haven't even paid landscapers and fucking cars. You're not going to fucking pay me for it. That's the problem. I'm going to not get my shit pipe money. I do shit pipe. I smack your wife all for one low price. That's how it is. You know the jingle.

Calhouns, Calhouns. You know it. He'll clean your shit pipes and smack you. You know the fucking jingle. You know what I mean? I got one for women, too. It's a good one. I'll clean up your shit, kick a guy in the dick.

I'll do that, too. It's all right. You got to do it for both ways, they tell me. The ladies, they don't like my song. Jesus Christ. So I'm like, hey, fuck it. You know what I mean? Fuck, I got to get out of here.

I got to get out. Poof. And in a cloud of shit pipe, in a cloud of shit, he's gone. In a cloud of shit pipe in a cloud of shit he's gone shit and pipes he's gone oh i love paul calhoun he's my new favorite so december 12th 2008 how did he do this what a fucking mess man this is later on in the year december 12th 2080 sentenced to 30 months probation yeah after he pleads guilty to possession of a controlled substance blah blah blah blah blah blah uh this is they're combining sentences and making them run concurrent and they're just like

get this guy the just get him back on the street out of here and get him away from me because i am so i am so fucking sick of looking at this guy. He is so dumb. He's so fucking dumb. So he's in prison, though, for a while on that one. This was while he was in prison. July 2009, he's paroled, which is good for him. July 2010, he's doing very well.

He attends weekly drug court hearings to check on his progress, and he actually shows up. All right. He shows up. All right. He shows up. Universally, all of the hearings and all of his progress reports, they're all described as good. Yeah. He's good now. According to documents, he's good now.

It's documented. Legal documents say he's good now. He's getting the help for his addiction. He's serving punishment for his misdeeds, his lawyer says. He's doing fine. He got a lawyer. He got a lawyer. He got a lawyer, finally. They made him get one.

June 29, 2010, the Las Vegas Review-Journal newspaper does a ranking The Rebels article. Oh, my God. Top 100 UNLV players of all time. Keon's number 48. Wow. Top 50, baby. Not too shabby. June, July 29, 2010, he pleads guilty in champaign county uh to driving under with a

revoked license number one i don't i didn't look it up but this is a this is you're better off this was a deep story i didn't have time for it august 11th 2010 he goes back to prison for driving after uh with the revoked license the comparison to jr rider is fucking perfect and they call that shit in college. Years ago. It was, yeah. I guess it was personality. On prison, we have an in their own words.

In their own words, quote, the money, the fame, the fact that I was on TV. People think that money will make your life better. Money didn't dissolve my problems. It increased them. I was already on a destructive path. What happened was people looked at me and they saw my persona. What they put on me was not me. You can't live up to something you're not.

Nobody cares about your problems. Everybody diminished my problems, including myself. Yeah, but that's you. That's everybody. That's life. That's called being a human being and living your life. No one cares about your shit. Yeah, that's true.

But it's also you. That's your, that's, it's, with money comes great responsibility. Yes. That kind of money, you just have to be responsible and you'll be fine for fucking ever. Forever. So he finally gets out of prison in January 2012. Yeah. June 27, 2012, a sheriff deputy and parole agent are searching his home based on his

parole and they find a firearm with a round in the chamber hidden in his living room and three loaded magazine rounds in a basement bedroom, which he's not supposed to have. He says, quote, it was something I had for my protection. They found that gun where it was resting. I never threatened the police or anyone else with it. That doesn't matter. You're not supposed to have it. You're not allowed to own it, you idiot. That's not the fuck.

What a fucking idiot. May 28, 2013. He doesn't matter. You're not supposed to have it. No, you're not allowed to own it, you idiot. That's not the fuck. What a fucking idiot. May 28, 2013, he is pulled over in his Dodge Challenger for illegal squealing of tires and speeding in Danville. He's in the car. Of course, his license is revoked. He is placed under arrest for driving

with a revoked license. Once again, guess what? His car is seized and held for forfeiture. Wow. Which we have a huge thing that I'll just briefly, briefly go over where his mother gets super pissed. His mother sues the state for the car. Yeah. They go back and forth.

The judge rules against her. She appeals. They have this huge case that goes on for three fucking years. Three years. Over this car. And then finally they just say, you can't have the car. Appeal's denied. And the mother's sent away and they sell his car. And then finally they just say, you can't have the car. Appeals denied and the mother sent away and they sell his car. Wow. So this whole, this Dodge

Challenger causes a huge, just a huge uproar, man. It is nuts. Yeah, they had it towed away. Clark called it his baby, which I think is funny. He thought it was, you know, that's his baby. August 4, 2000. No, no, no.

Keon Clark Jr. That's your baby. Yeah, you might know him. You might remember him barely, but you might remember him. That's your baby. August 4, 2013. Clark is driving when he blacks out about a block from his home and hits a telephone pole and flips his car. Wow.

He'd been drinking, taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills all at the same time. He said that was the turning point in his life. That's what it was? Took that, huh? Wow. He said, I had a few accidents that got progressively worse. This one, I totaled a vehicle and walked away with 13 stitches. That was my moment of clarity when I said, I'm going to die if I continue down this path.

Yeah, that's true. Well, no fucking shit. You're going to die. Your fucking wife's going to get nothing from you then, or your ex-girlfriend, or whoever the fuck she is. Your kid's going to get shit from you.

These teams have got nothing from you. You've embarrassed your coaches, your friends, your family. Nice people have tried to help you. I feel bad for all these people, Jimmy. All of them. But not nearly as bad as I feel for Keon Clark,

a software developer in the greater Detroit area. Wow. Keon Clark, customer service representative at Winn-Dixie in Tampa, St. Pete in Florida. This guy, he's got a summary. He says, quote, I am a very hardworking man who always puts the concerns of others before my own to help encourage and up-build everyone else. Up-build, I didn't know it's a word. There are so many Keons. I love work.

I love to work and come to conclusions that will benefit both parties. And finally, most of all, Keon Clark, Red River High School boys varsity football team in Cochada, Louisiana. He's a tackle that graduates in 2021 and he's an athlete named keon clark that's brutal you poor son of a bitch meanwhile he said

he said this was the turning point when i flipped a car hit that's it almost dying i i could i could die if i don't go to if i don't change this but how about the point remember that part where you were standing in a kitchen holding a loaded weapon? Yes. And police aimed at guns at you. That's that's the moment where you could die. That's the one. You were closer to death there than when you rolled your car.

Oh, my God. Later that year, by the way, Dave Rose's coach at Dixie State is inducted into the Dixie State Hall of Fame there. Dixie State Hall of Fame there. And in his bio, he touts, while at Dixie, Rose coached three NJCAA All-Americans, as well as longtime NBA player Keyon Clark. This asshole has the balls to brag about him. You silver-haired asshole.

The balls. That's some silver shit right there. Now, December 4, 2013, is sentencing after he strikes a plea deal with prosecutors over weapons and driving under the influence charges like we talked about. He pleads guilty to the two charges. He says he's a long bottle with alcohol. He's trying. He begs for it. He says, quote, I did a lot of stuff in my past.

I have to own up to it. The judge agreed with him that he does have to own up to it. And also that you've done a lot of stuff in your past. In your past. And he said, you, sir, may fuck off eight years in prison. Holy shit. Two consecutive four-year terms. Wow.

Eat dicks, sir. You're going to prison here. So he goes to prison. He smiled and waved at the supporters as he left. He said, he looked over to them and he said, quote, it could have been a lot worse. It's going to get a lot better. He said, no. Prosecutors say he will have to serve 50 percent of his sentence.

He'll get credit for 138 days already served and they get served consecutively. So he's looking at four fucking years here. At minimum. At minimum, which is not terrific for him. He says it's great. He called the incarceration one of the better times of my life. He said when I went to prison, alcohol wasn't on my mind. I was on my mind.

Instead. Finally, I'm in control right now. Oh, yeah. Forced, but in control. He meditates. He takes yoga three or four times a week. He said, quote, I never thought yoga being anything a man would do. Okay. Okay.

Okay, that's his exact quote. He said it helps clear your mind and get you centered. So, yeah, that's good. Yeah, it's all core exercises, dipshit. He also does Toastmasters. Oh, my God. Making speeches and shit, learning public speaking. What a douche.

And all of this. He spoke on everything. He did a big thing here. He says, in their own words, quote, I spoke on all aspects of my life, being an only child, college, alcohol abuse, being a professional athlete, and being in prison four times and arrested 60 times in Danville from 1998 to 2013. I lived in five other states and never even got a traffic ticket. I spoke about all of it to the point where they were like, hey, Keon, we've got to go to lunch. They'd be like, how did you go from the NBA to here? If I had that kind of money, I said, you can't know because you never have been in the NBA. But when I tell you I was at the liquor store at five o'clock in the morning,

they can understand that. They see I'm a regular guy. OK, but here's the thing. Ninety eight to 2013 is 15 years being arrested 60 that's every three months yes constantly that is so much that's constantly man holy shit uh he complained 90 days james he was in police custody yep he says he got no special favors in prison that's insane everyone's just constantly in there up here i am again i can't fucking i can't fathom that he said the only thing he got extra in prison was he got uh longer sweatpants that were longer. He said literally he needed it because they were like just past his knees. He was like a fucking moron.

They cut the legs off another pair and sewed them on the bottom. That's it, man. So late July 2017, he is paroled. Yeah. Finally served 50% of his sentence. He says he made regrets the poor choices he made. He said, quote, I don't wish prison on anybody, but I see my time away, my sabbatical. Sabbatical, he called it.

Sabbatical. Your prison stay is a sabbatical. He says that was an education of me. It was time well spent. Most people. Oh, my fuck. That's hysterical. Yeah.

It's so bad. And then he acts like he was in prison for 20 years. He's like, I got out. And he goes, it's weird. Nobody talks on their phones anymore. I'll say, hey, man, give me a call. And they'll just text me. That was like that in 2013.

That was like that in 2004. Oh, my God. Yeah. When you were still in the NBA, you dipped shit. What a fucking idiot. He says he enjoys spending time with his family now. He's keeping up his good habits. He's doing yoga.

He's doing all that. He hangs out with his 81-year-old grandmother. He hangs out with a Danville alderman named Lloyd Randall that he's known since he was a child. He's just trying to be, you know, he's just trying to be, he says he's doing, he's good now. Let's just say that. He says he goes down to the YMCA, goes to the basketball court. He plays horse with the kids. He asks them how school is.

He's trying to be, you know, he's trying to be. He lives like a homeless man. He lives like a homeless man. You know how it goes. Now, a couple things here. Lloyd Randall, his friend, said, quote, I really hope people aren't judgmental and will welcome him back to our community. I hope he doesn't listen to this show. No shit.

We're a little judgmental. He said he's accepted what he's done and took accountability for it and paid his debt to society. I really believe he's a diamond in the rough, and his potential is so untapped at this point in his life. Rough as fuck. We are so tapped at this point. He's a gentle and kind spirit, except when he's pulling guns on her or beating women, and has the ability to really touch and change lives

and contribute to the growth, prosperity, and economic development of this community. And I am hopeful that our civic leaders, religious leaders, and political leaders understand that and embrace him. What is he even talking about? Clark, Keon says he knows there's a lot of doubters

and he knows people are waiting for him to fail. He says, last little thing here, in their own words, quote, today, I don't allow that to affect me. Plenty of people think they know me and will continue to see me through the pigeonhole they created for me. But nobody truly knows me because I just got an understanding of myself in these past four years.

All I can be is myself, and I think I'm pretty damn cool. I can help so many young people who are coming up. I have knowledge, and I'm willing to use it. My testimony is beyond reproach. Keep your fucking knowledge. Everything is in perfect reproach range. Nothing you can offer is behind it. We are good now.

Fuck you. The only testimony we need from you is that you're going to take care of your fucking kids. That's it. That was two months ago he said all that, too. Yeah, that's a good point. He got out in July. We'll see you for an update in about six months, asshole.

Trust me. He's been out for seven months. Yeah, no shit, man. Can't get enough Keon Clark? You can go to Amazon. I've had enough. I've had plenty. Plenty of his ass. Trust me this week. Autograph basketball card from UNLV,

a 1998 card, is $13 and $3.59 shipping and handling. Only two left in stock, everybody. Hurry. And finally, at sportsmemorabilia.com, they have a Keon Clark 8x10 picture from the Nuggets where he's going up for a dunk and that is autographed.

It is $999. I want that. Regular $19.99. I want that. That's fucking awesome. That is cool as fuck, yeah. So that is Keon Clark. My Christ.

Holy shit, what a fucking mess that was. We're running a little long, so we'll bust through this here. But wow, that was a crazy story. If you like that story, please get on iTunes. Give us five stars. You know after all that, we goddamn deserve it. Give us five stars. Tell us your following instructions, following directions.

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CrimeAndSports at gmail.com If you want to follow the show, that's easy to do. You can do that at CrimeAndSports on Instagram and Twitter. Facebook.com slash CrimeAndSports at gmail.com. If you want to follow the show, that's easy to do. You can do that at CrimeAndSports on Instagram and Twitter. Facebook.com slash CrimeAndSports and CrimeAndSports at gmail.com. Don't forget, live show, Boston, February the 18th, 4 p.m. Laugh Boston. Get your tickets now.

Yes. And Jimmy, why don't you hit us, please, with the list of the most wonderful, heroic, fantastic, non-Keon Clark people on the face of the earth. Hit us with it, please. You guys have been fucking incredible. Thank you guys so, so much. Executive producers continue to be Jess Landgren and Christiane Costaldi. Because they're amazing. You two are fantastic.

And then this week, Mary Hemphill came through with an enormous. Oh, God, thank you. Thank you. Mary, thank you. Really. So, so, so much. You guys are amazing. We can't do this without you, God, thank you. Thank you. Mary, thank you. Really. So, so, so much. You guys are amazing. We can't do this without you.

So, thank you. Thank you. Esther Wright. Eric Pennywell got creative and donated. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that. With a message. The message was, shut up and give me murder.

And he donated via, it was basically the letters of the alphabet was how it turned out. The message was, be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Right. That's what I think it was. Thank you, Eric, for being creative and having fun with it. Yeah, that was cool. Thank you. Stacy Huffaker constantly was-

Yeah, that's really nice of her. Thank you, Stacy. Thank you so much, Stacy. I'm still trying to figure out if there's a- If there's a message buried in that shit, too. If there's a message. I tried to figure out, is that a currency? Is that a- Is that a percentage for like,

this is how much of my day you guys ruined? Yeah, I don't know what it is, but I love it anyway. And I'm having fun thinking about it, so thank you. Travis Hess, Will Taffet, Julia Schuster, Madison Grout, Dirty Girls Cleaning LLC. I'm not sure what that is. Google Dirty Girls Cleaning

and see if... Or maybe not at work, though. Maybe wait until you get home. Just in case. Do it on your phone. Yeah. It could just be naked girls cleaning on video. I hope it is. I really do.

It's awesome. Jimmy, go crazy. Shit, yeah. Kristen Sassano, Kelly Schulte, Nicole DeHart-Rob, Mary Hemphill again. That was where I wrote it, but then I wrote it up at the top as well. Thank you. Thank you, Mary. James Cook. Just about every damn week that guy comes through. Thank you. Thank you, Mary. James Cook.

Just about every damn week that guy comes through. Thank you so much, James. It's amazing. William Sherwood. Brinley Richeson. Naima Shea. Nick Goodall. Thank you, brother.

I appreciate it. That was a nice one also. Thank you. Jerry Hutton. Elizabeth White. Heather Shelley. Ann Nitsch. Andrew DuPois.

Or DuPois? DuPois? There's no O. It's not DuPois. I tried so hard to pronounce. It's DuPuis. or DePuis. DeBois? There's no O. It's not DeBois. I tried so hard to pronounce. It's DePuis or DePuis. DePuis. It's interesting is what it is.

DePuis. Candice McFarlane, Kapow Designs. That's Kat Powers. Oh, that's Kat. Hey, Kat. Go find Kapow Designs and buy some shit from her. Kat's cool, man. She's fantastic.

Help her out. She's got a new boyfriend. She sends me messages about this fucking guy. So good for you, Kat. Yeah, be nice to Kat. Yeah, he's a nice guy. Guy with Kat. We her out. She's got a new boyfriend. She sends me messages about this fucking guy. So good for you, Kat. Be nice to Kat. Yeah, he's a nice guy. Guy with Kat. We like her.

Oh, Jesus. Every time I go to breathe, I breathe in fucking ouch. Katie Heisel, she's the one that makes the maps for us. Yeah, she's awesome. The girls in Joe and her girlfriend, I forget her. God damn it. In Portland. Jeffrey is her last name her girlfriend, I forget her. God damn it. In Portland. Jeffrey is her last name.

Why am I forgetting her fucking first name? Kayla? No. Karen? I'm not sure. Why am I blanking on it now? I don't know why I'm blanking it, too. Sorry.

Joe and Carrie. Carrie. It's fucking Carrie. Something with a K. So Joe and Carrie are hosting, it's happening this weekend, a listening party for last week's episode in Oregon. That's great. They're inviting all their friends.

That's so cool. Katie. No, not Katie. Yeah, Katie's going. And they're coming to Phoenix for the live show on March 25th. So Katie's going to that party. Whatever. It doesn't matter.

That's cool. I'm going to be snapping with them tomorrow. It'll be fun. Lucas Bergeron Pousey. No, it's a P. Pousey. Pousey. Lucas Bergeron, thank you. Thank you. I'm not going to's a P. Pousey. Pousey. Lucas Bergeron, thank you.

Thank you. I'm not going to worry about that last one. It's a motherfucker. Ricky Fitzpatrick, wow, thank you. That was an amazing donation as well. I appreciate you. Barbara Johnson, Elizabeth Freeman. Michelle Jolly is somebody in Australia.

Oh, yeah, she's cool. She tends to come around pretty frequently, too. She throws us, yeah, thank you so much. Mark Barnett, Madeline Robinson, Liberty Sisson, S-Y-S-Y-N, that's a fucking nightmare of a last name to pronounce. Wow, yeah.

Sci-Sign, Sisson? Yeah, that can't be a real last name. It looks like a company. Yeah. I don't know. It sounds like a stock.

Oh, I'm going to get to one. It sounds like a stock. Right. Right, exactly. It looks like a name on the side of like a truck trailer. Let me check the NASDAQ and see if it's good.

Right. We're going to get to one in a minute that is completely an obvious joke, I think. We'll see. Madeline Robinson, I already said that. Shane Raley, Luis Reyes, Rick Paul, Gresham Fenton, Dave LeCount. I almost said LeCount. I almost did it. It's not LeCount.

I'm so sorry, Tate. You wanted it bad. FedEx podcast guy uh he sent he sent a donation saying that this is part of his uh his overtime for christmas so thanks thank you he didn't give a name we appreciate that podcast guy i'll take it that's so riannon riannon garrett uh joshua fields he's the one that sent um the the posters for uh the method Yeah. Thank you, Josh. Thank you. Rachel Sutton, Ben Hubert, Wout van, holy motherfucker.

Wout van Netter Castle, Netter Castle, Netter Castle. It's got a whole word in there. It's easy. So that's an easy one. I don't know. That was a tough one for me.

Joe Roth, Amber Lacey, Trent Pearson, Nicole Chastain, Sean Brandt, Tana Flowered. Fantastic. Thank you so much, Tana or Tana. Yeah. Thankt, Tana Flowered. Fantastic. Thank you so much, Tana.

Or Tana. Yeah, thank you. I might be Tana. I'm a fucking asshole. Yeah, that's tough. Alana Maller, Desiree Kissling, Nick Lawson, Susie Manon, Edward Cruz, Travis Tim, Tyler Burgert. Burgert.

Bur-bur. Burgoo? Fuck. No, it's not Burgoo. Good. That's better. That would be horrific. Sharon Cullen, Nate Huesling, Molly Kuhls, Kuhls, Kuhls.

Ah, Jesus. The Real Booze Podcast. Go take a listen to that thing. It's about they drink beer or drink whatever alcohol is in the fucking movie they're watching. Okay. So go listen to that. That's cool. Judy Martin in Ontario is an almost 80-year-old lady that listens to this shit.

How fucking bananas is that? Is she the ex-wrestler? I don't know. If you are the ex-wrestler Judy Martin from the WWF in the 80s, that would be awesome. Natalie Meyer, Laura Murr. She's fantastic as well. Thank you, Laura. Sean Baker, Emily Cupid, Karen Silva, Heather Fowler, Rachel.

No, it's Raphael. Sorry, Raphael. That's an asshole thing to do to somebody. Yeah, Raphael Gaetan, Sarah Kaizen, Amanda Wiley, Sean Hoxie or Hoxie or Hokie. Is that an X? Fuck. Is that an X? What is that?

I don't know. Joblin Agterish. Joblin Agterish. That's a tough one as well. Wow, I would say. Mad Feline. I'm sure that's aish. That's a tough one as well. Wow, I would say. Mad Feline. I'm sure that's a joke. Stephanie Cadwell, Billy Garmer, Sarah Schlesinger, Chris Thresher, Dan Zielkowski, Stephanie

Zlozler, Zlozler, Zlozler. Fuck, I'm so sorry, Steph. That's a tough one. Austin Hardy, Lauren Levan, Genesis Vasquez. Here it is. Sandy Handjob. Thank you so much, Sandy. Sandy Handjob sent some money.

Kelly Ruiz, Ann Nitsch. I already said her name. Thanks again, Ann. She donated both through PayPal and then also. So thank you, Ann. Thank you. Morgan St. Clair, Jonathan Elton, Wesley McRae, and his wife of 10 years who they just celebrated their 10-year anniversary. Congrats, guys.

You guys this week was fucking incredible. I appreciate the interaction. But the support is unbelievable. We can't thank you enough, honestly. It really does. And we truly 100% cannot do this without you. No, it makes this show work and happen and makes us. And the thing is, too, you guys have no idea.

We are the guiltiest people. When you guys donate to us, I sit there and I'm like, oh, God, I have to do so much better. It puts so much pressure on us to just go balls out with the show and really just make the show as good as we can possibly make it. That's true. Because otherwise it'd be like, fuck these people. It's easy to go, it's a fucking free show, fuck you. But it's not a free show. It's not.

Because it is a free show. You don't have to pay anything. But a lot of people, they donate so much to us and they give us stuff and they help us and they send us things that we're, you know what I mean? You've purchased it. Yeah. So it's not free. It's true.

And it is what it is, man. You guys just have made it worthwhile. Thank all of you people. You guys are amazing. Truly. We're blown the fuck away by you guys. Thank you guys so much. Thank you guys, really. We really appreciate every damn thing you do for us.

And what if one of these people wanted to tell you how much they like you, Jimmy? How might they do that? You can find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks, on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. Follow along. And I love hearing from you guys, so thanks for playing,

and thanks for being here. Definitely. And you can get a hold of me at JimmyPIsFunny, or if you don't do that, if you are on Facebook or whatever, you can copy and paste my last name from the show description

because there's an I in there, and it will trip you up. Believe me with that. Guys, please come back. Keep coming back every week because we just had a blast, and we will continue to have a blast every single goddamn week here live from the Crime and Sports studios. We will see you next week. Bye.

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