Crime in Sports - #105 - Always An Explanation - The Smoothness of Aurelian Smith Jr, AKA Jake 'The Snake' Roberts

Episode Date: February 6, 2018

This week, we have an extra long episode to say thank you for reaching 4000 iTunes reviews! This is a story that begins with as much horror as possible, and kind of goes downhill from there. A genius at his profession, but an absolute dullard in the rest of his life. Drugs, arrogance, and bad decisions, cause a mountain of trouble that he somehow always seems to come out, standing on top of. A resilient, troubled, brilliant idiot. And a crazy, crazy tale!Be born out of the worst circumstances possible, achieve great success, and completely destroy your life, several times over with Jake 'The Snake' Roberts!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at...patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.comFor Tickets To Upcoming Live Shows...BOSTON:Feb 18Crime In Sports:https://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1589056?_ga=2.84751449.1576137293.1510029131-53581790.1510029128&__utma=1.876925325.1510029128.1510029128.1510029128.1&__utmb=1.2.10.1510029128&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1510029128.1.1.utmcsr=yahoo|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=-&__utmk=255437192Small Town Murderhttps://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1589061?_ga=2.53771112.1576137293.1510029131-53581790.1510029128&__utma=1.876925325.1510029128.1510029128.1510029128.1&__utmb=1.2.10.1510029128&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1510029128.1.1.utmcsr=yahoo|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=-&__utmk=255437192Check out or site:truecrimecomedyteam.comAll web support by Web and Writerwebandwriter.com or Facebook.com/webandwriterContact us on...twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/crimeinsports  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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doozy in store. My favorite. I got some shit to say this week about other podcasts, and they're basically just their self-righteousness, self-righteousness and douchebaggery that has permeated this fucking medium. The landscape is thick with it. Oh, man, do I have some shit to say about that. So if you have any interest in podcasting and fucking self-important true crime podcasters and everything else, stay tuned to the end of the show.

I got a couple things to say about it. Let's just put it that way. But besides all that, uh but besides all that Jimmy besides all that we had insanity last week we did we we had pure insanity with Steve Howe fucking crazy yeah you were surprised at that you didn't expect a truck to land on him it's very rare that a truck lands on him we've never had that before we've had a drug overdose or this we've had that we've had murder we've had a nephew right fucking hatchet somebody in the face yeah brian spinner spencer murdered by a drug a drug deal that sort of thing we've never

had a guy actually murdered by his own truck yeah that's never happened before we haven't had a ford as the culprit no but that's last week tune into that steve howe was a wild episode so much cocaine boy does he hate steve howe man steve Steve Howe hates Steve Howe. Steve Howe has a shirt on that says Steve Howe sucks. Fuck Steve Howe. He died with a shirt that says... Nobody hates Steve Howe like Steve Howe. Eat dicks, Howe. That's his shirt that he said. No one understood why he wore it. Fuck you, Howe. He's like, I can see it in the mirror.

That's why it was backwards, the letters. Shit. You, Howe? What is that? What do you mean, tish? What is tish? I don't understand what that is. That says shit, sir. That is shit, sir. But that is a mess. Speaking of cocaine, we got a lot of cocaine this week, too.

Really? This week's a cocaine-heavy episode also. Cocaine is the most fun. It is a very prevalent fucking substance in sports. It is. And when you combine cocaine with the brain damage sports? Oh, Jimmy, you get pure gold. But when you mix cocaine with brain damage and somebody that's fucking great at their sport, that's fantastic, too. That's what we have this week.

We have a guy who is an all-time great at what he does. And this guy here, it's been done before. I'll explain in a second here. It's a wrestler. It's been done before. I'll explain in a second here. It's a wrestler. It's been done before this episode. Another podcast I've talked about because there's a million wrestling podcasts and there's only so much they can talk about, especially the historical ones. And ones that fuck up.

There's no new history. So it's one of those things. No one's really gone over the crime aspect of it too much but they've gone over his life and everything else. So wrestling fans, if you hear some shit that you know already, sorry about that. But we have to explain everything to people who aren't wrestling because this isn't a wrestling podcast. But there will be all the inside wrestling shit, too, as you know from our former shows.

I'll slip it in there for you. Don't worry about it. You won't feel like it's just some guy who's never heard of shit saying things. So buckle up because this is an interesting one. Aurelian Smith Jr. Who the hell is that? You know who that is? No.

That's Jake the Snake Roberts right there. Oh, shit. That's Jake the Snake. And he's a junior right away. That's right. You just said that. Aurelian Smith Jr. So right away, I saw that.

You know there's going to be problems. You know there's going to be. And yes, we're going to do Chris Benoit someday. Don't worry about that. That's just been played out so much. And even this, this is more fun. And yes, there's a documentary do Chris Benoit someday. Don't worry about that. That's just been played out so much. And even this, this is more fun. And yes, there's a documentary now on Netflix that we'll talk about.

That's been a big deal. That's what I mean. People have seen stuff about this. I don't think you've seen it quite like we do it, though. Okay. That's the thing. And I have to say this about this guy right off the bat, too. Like I said, as far as what he does, you don't get much better than this guy at what he does. It's one of those guys where it's like a Riddick Bowe or a guy like that. Even more, honestly, because this guy's legendary.

He always had a boa with him. That's fucking incredible. The little things he did changed a lot of things, and a lot of people imitated him, and he's very influential and that sort of thing. So mad respect for this guy on that level. There'll be people listening, and we have a few actual wrestlers that listen to this and dig us and stuff like that. We're not disrespecting this guy's shit, but we're definitely going to make fun of his

foibles a lot. Sorry. It's the fact of the matter. That's what happens. So Jake the Snake here, we're not going to call him Aurelian. He's fucking Jake. He's Jake. That's it.

He's Jake. You don't need Aurelian. You don't need the name. You know Jake. He's Jake. You don't need Aurelian. You don't need the name. You know Jake. That's like an old man name there. That's a fucking, that's a. That's a guy who goes to church and comes home. Or a Trojan warrior.

That's a guy who goes to church. He comes home, plows his field on his own. No animals. He just puts the plow on his back and walks. And then your wife. Yeah. That's it. And he goes inside, yells at his wife for not knowing the Bible. He comes on your door and says, I just plowed my yard. I'm going to plow your wife next. And you're wife. Yeah. That's it. And he goes inside, yells at his wife for not knowing the Bible.

He comes on your door and says, I just plowed my yard. I'm going to plow your wife next. And you're like, okay, your last name's Aurelian. It's his first name. Wait, what? Aurelian Smith is the name. You're right. Aurelian's, yeah.

That's a big tough man. Not Aurelian's the last name. Aurelian sounds like some biblical shit. I thought it was Jake. No, that's just what he calls himself. It's Aurelian Smith Jr. Jake shit. I thought it was Jake. No, that's just what he calls himself. What the fuck? How did he land there? Aurelian Smith Jr.

Jake, you know, I don't know. It's better than fucking Aurelian. How did he not go with Marcus Aurelian as a play on words? His dad went with Grizzly, so it's better than that, I think. That's his dad's name. His dad goes by Grizzly. His dad is a monster. Holy shit.

Okay? Physically and in the world. His father is a fucking monster. Okay. A monster, awful, horrible boogeyman person. His father is what nightmares are made of. So Grizzly wasn't his own pick. And I'm not even fucking around.

No. Well, yeah, because he's a wrestler. That's what he went by. Oh, he was a wrestler too? Yeah, his father's a wrestler. Let's start back at the beginning. Okay. He was born all the way back May 30th, 1955.

Holy shit. In Gainesville, Texas. Okay. His father is Grizzly Smith, who's a former wrestler and then was a road agent for WWE and Mid-South and all these. Yeah, in the 80s and WCW up until the mid-90s. What? And then he went on to go home back down to Texas and be like a maintenance guy at a retirement

home or something. But he's a monster. That's not Jake. That's his dad. Can you imagine being that guy that crafts and helps shape what wrestling is today, and then at the end of your life you're relegated to cleaning old lady diarrhea out of the old folks' home? He came along at the wrong time. Wrestlers didn't make a ton of money back in the day.

Unless you were like Bruno San Martino or Terry Funk or one of the Funks or one of the briscoes or something you weren't making a shit pedro morales you weren't making a ton of money uh in wrestling back then a lot of guys could make a living back then which is nowadays there's like 300 guys in the whole country that can make a fucking living off of this shit basically maybe more than that but not a ton it goes from from from just completely nothing to to saturation at a level, and then it's fucking oversaturated. It's just business. Plus, I mean, back then, this is territories. You go in small armories and shit.

Like, Grizzly Smith isn't wrestling at the—he's not wrestling in a 20,000-seat basketball arena back in the day. He's wrestling in front of 600 people in an armory somewhere. He's getting paid $50. You can actually meet and greet every person. Yeah, that's what it was. Well, Grizzly, he comes up, like we say, as a wrestler. He's 6'8", 350 pounds. What the fuck?

He's a fucking monster. And imagine that in the 50s. That's the biggest man alive. I mean, in the 50s, people didn't exist. That's the biggest man you've ever seen. Exactly. And that's what it was. He'd come to town and people would be like, holy shit, look at this fucking guy. I mean, in the 50s, people didn't exist. That's the biggest man you've ever seen. Exactly. And that's what it was. He'd come to town and people would be like, holy shit, look at this fucking guy.

I mean, that guy's something. Wrestling's a freak show. Yes. Well, let's see how Jake ended up. Tell me that guy's not a great father. Oddly, no. Let's find out how he came about with it in their own words. We'll explain a little further, but let's let Jake tell you here.

In their own words, quote, My mother was 13 years old when I was born. Why? Because my dad raped a little girl who was asleep in her room. My dad was going out with my mother's mother. There you go. There's some bones for Jake the Snake. What the fuck?

That's how this fucking story starts. Wow. The story starts with his father, Grizzly Smith, on a date with his grandmother who had a 13-year-old daughter. Apparently the date went well. They get back to the house. Grizzly, rather than going after the woman he's out on a date with, finds her 13-year-old daughter asleep in her room and rapes her.

What the fuck? And impregnates her. And impregnates her. And impregnates her. Oh, by the way, then fucking marries her. What? Then he marries her. My Christ. Which in the 50s, I suppose, if you...

That's just how it goes. When you knock up a child, you at least, you know, put a ring on her. You know what I mean? That's what it was. I think Jerry Lewis got married before he knocked her up. I think you're probably right. And she was 15. And she was a cousin.

She wasn't. Not that that's better, but 13 is another level of crazy. 13 is like a small, 15's a child too, but 13's like a, there's a huge difference between 13 and 15. Oh, those two years are irreplaceable. 13's eighth grade. Yeah, yeah. That's ridiculous. I mean, that's not even high school yet for Christ's sake.

Right, 15, at least she's in a homeroom. At least she's a sophomore, you know? At least she changes classes throughout the day. Yeah, that's what I mean. Jesus, fuck, man. Still, it's fucking horrific. It's insane. I mean, there are states that 15 is legal, I think.

It's still nuts and gross and horrible. 13 is illegal across the board. 13, yeah. That's everywhere. This is some, yeah, unless it's like some weird foreign country or something like that. I mean, United States, everywhere illegal. U.S., 13, I would hope, would be illegal everywhere. I think it is.

I think. I'm not a lawyer. Well, I got to check on Louisiana because you never know down there. Anything's possible. But, you know, we'll see. But 13, definitely bad everywhere. For sure. Even in the 50s.

And then he marries her. Imagine you're that family. What about you're the mother? Now you're his mother-in-law. Yeah, you're the lady that went on the date. You were on a date with him, brought him home, raped your daughter, and then you're like, welcome to the family. Marry my daughter now. What the

fuck is going on? Oh my god. This is nuts. Like, right off the bat, you're like, okay, this story should end there. At first, I felt sorry for him for what he was relegated to at the end of his life, but now it's just like, fuck yourself, Grizzly. Yeah, you want bad things to happen. Oh, it gets worse with Grizzly, too. Oh, I'm sure it does. That's not Grizzly's last hurrah. like that's what i mean fuck yourself fuck grizzly yeah you want bad things to happen oh it gets worse with grizzly too that's not grizzly's last hurrah that's the

start that's not the end no that's the start yeah and you know jake's gonna have an interesting life for sure that's his father and that's how he starts yeah that's the beginning you know he's not on a straight and narrow path and neither are his brothers and sisters uh he did it again to her he has three siblings and none of them didn't doesn't turn out well for any of them surprise basically uh it's bad stuff six foot eight 350 pound guy that's a wrestler that rapes the 13 year old is not a good father but a 13 year old is not a great mother odd right weird well from what i understand yeah she wasn't the greatest but not not because she was abusive or anything like that. She was 13 fucking years old.

She can't take care of herself. Yeah. October 11th, 1963, his brother is born. He has a brother named Michael, who later becomes the wrestler Sam Houston. Oh, what? Sam Houston was a wrestler in the 80s. He's kind of a tall, real skinny guy. He had the cheesiest.

I'll talk about some cheesy wrestler insanity from this time period. He'd come in when he was in the WWF at the time, WWE. I'll call it F because that's what it'll be for this whole time. He would come in and he was Sam Houston and he was a cowboy and he had chaps on. Of course he was. No shirt, chaps and a cowboy hat

and they'd play his little cowboy music and he would do this terrible two-step thing around the ring, but he looked like he was having a seizure, but his feet were moving, and he was so skinny that he wore cowboy wrestling boots, but they looked huge on him, like wide, because he was too skinny,

and it looked terrible. He was awful, this guy. Hilarious. So he's like the dancing cowboy in fucking New York. Kind of, but worse. But not. And on a lot of pills. Picture that guy just pilled out trying to do like a two-step around the ring.

Amazing. This guy's a disaster, Sam Houston. I'm not going to go into too much on him because he has an extensive criminal record that we will definitely cover. So I won't talk too much about him other than the fact that he's a fucking disaster that's in and out of prison his whole life after wrestling. Just a fucking mess. So now he's got a brother to share this poor shit with. And he's a lot younger than him, too. That's an eight-year difference in age.

Wait until she was 21 to have another kid. Yeah. Yeah, that was October 11th, 1963. October 9th, 1964, another kid. What? Grizzly likes raping in February, apparently. I was just going to ask you what the fuck goes on. Oh, he's so sweet.

He likes to rape on Valentine's Day. That's very nice. Nice of him to do that. That's so sweet. This is a sister. Okay. Yeah. So you want a guy who rapes 13-year-olds to have a daughter, don't you? Because that's going to work out well. That's perfect. That's always going to work out well when you have that happen. I'm sure he's going to be a protective good father

and make sure to watch over her and make sure nothing happens to her and guides her along to a good life where she'll, you know, it's the 60s, maybe she'll, in his mind, she'll presumably meet a nice husband down the road and have a nice life. When's Jake's birthday? Jake's birthday is 1955. What month? Is it October also? He is not in October. He is May.

May, gotcha. So that was a different, well that rape was a rape of circumstance. This is he can plan a rape out in advance of when he wants the, you know, the rape seed to come to fruition. Something happens in February and it's not anal. That's all I'm saying. It's bad stuff. So Robin is born. She will also later become a wrestler.

She will be the WWF women's champion at one point as Rockin Robin. Wow. God, she looks so sad. This is a wrestler. She will be the WWF Women's Champion at one point as Rockin' Robin. Wow! God, she looks so sad. This is a girl, she comes out and you could just tell she's just had a tough life. You just look at her and you go, oh, she just looks sad. She just looks like a sad, sad woman. She's not rockin' anything. She looks like a middle-aged real estate agent now

because I saw an interview with her. Let's find out from her what childhood was like in this household. Apparently, she was molested by Grizzly. Oh, God. Obviously. She said the abuse started at six or seven years old. Jesus. Six or seven fucking—this guy's a monster piece of shit.

Serious. And I've heard things like interviews with companies where people, wrestling companies, were like, why was this guy hired if he's a child rapist? They're like, nobody fucking knew back then. They're like, how do we know? There was like rumor that, oh yeah, Grizzly likes young girls and shit like that, but not that he rapes 13 year olds. Right.

And they had no idea the whole story of Jake and all. And they knew Jake. Jake was in wrestling. They still didn't know the story. It didn't come out until later. It's fucking wacky. And then it's backed up by her. Nobody put together her age versus Jake's age?

You know what I mean? Well, it's, no, I guess they just, in the 50s, I don't know. And then they didn't, nobody knew how old Jake's mother was in the 80s. But I mean, Jake's mom shows up to something. She's got to as a proud mom that he's the wrestler. And he's Jake the Snake. He was one of the most fucking popular ones. How does she not show up and then somebody go, your mom looks really young.

Hey, but I mean. Yeah, she's only 13 years older than me. But I mean, if she was 18, that would have been normal back then. So I mean, five years, who knows? Even 17 would have been fine. Yeah, back then people got married and had kids and they would celebrate it. Oh, that's good for them. The kids got married.

They're having a baby. All right. She's going to graduate in three months and she's going to walk pregnant. Terrific. So at least she'll be married, though. Come on, it's the 50s here. So Robin says about the abuse, which is horrible. She says, quote, this is heartbreaking.

Quote, you just want it to stop, but the only way to make it stop is to destroy that person. But when that person is your father, you don't want to see them destroyed. Finally, my mother had a suspicion about it, and she sat me down and asked if there's anything I wanted to tell her. He ruined my childhood. I wasn't going to let him ruin the rest of my life. She apparently told the mother. That's when they got divorced. The mother, Grizzly and the mother, end up getting a divorce and Jake has a stepdad

and a stepmother. He actually likes his stepdad. He says his stepdad is like he grew close to his stepdad. He trusted his stepdad. Stepdad didn't beat him up or molest anybody. That's great. Yeah. Jesus. Pretty low bar at that point. Can you not beat me up

or molest my sister? Great. This fucking guy is the greatest. Goddamn Superman. Marry him now, mom. This guy's the best here. Also, Jake remembers that he was sexually and physically abused by his stepmother, which is so obviously Grizzly is going to go find another piece of shit person to team up with,

and they can do that. He says in a documentary, he says, quote, being afraid to go to sleep because you know somebody used to come down that fucking hall to wake your ass up and take you in their room and make you perform. I was ashamed of being molested. I was ashamed of where I came from. It was horrible. I was on one being molested. I was ashamed of where I came from. It was horrible. I was on one hand a larger, this larger than life character, but in reality, I was a very scared little boy that didn't know what was going to happen to him next.

The best way to get over it is to get a lot of counseling and bring that stuff to light. Yeah, but at this point, he doesn't know that. At this point, he's a scared kid who's being molested by his... It's the fucking worst. Going to his father's house must have just been the most horrifying experience. You got to deal with Grizzly and you got this molesting, crazy stepmother that would beat him up, too. Really? She would punch him and shit.

That's the other thing. The father was so horrible to his sister, Jolynn, who was older than him, so terrible and molesting her and everything else that she ran off as often. Back then, that's what girls would do. They'd go run off and just marry somebody. It doesn't matter. Anybody just gets you out of the house today, babe. Yeah. But I mean, especially back then, that was the solution.

Sure. Now it's like there's a couple other back then. It was like, well, I'll just go get married. I mean, I got to get out of this fucking house. What else am I going to do? So she married at 18 years old, married a 50 year old man to get out of the house. Now, let me ask you something. An 18-year-old girl who's hardcore abused by her fucking horrible, disgusting monster of a father, you think she's going to go find a nice man of 50 years to take her in?

Get somebody that feeds her drugs and shit. A horribly abusive man who then has an ex-wife who apparently wasn't too keen on this situation. What? Because this ex-wife kidnapped JoLynn and killed her. And they never found the body. Oh, my God. Apparently, this woman, according to Jake, went to jail for 10 years for kidnapping. Yeah.

They found blood in the car and things like that, but they didn't have a body, and there's no DNA back then. And that's his stepsister? That's his, I think, his stepsister. And yeah, so they never found a body. The lady would never tell them where the body was or admit it because then she'd be admitting she was a murderer. So that's the kind of family life we've grown up with.

Holy shit. Future horrible drug addict, prison inmate, brother, molested poor sister who's got problems and another sister who runs away and is murdered by a 50-year-old man's ex-wife. My God. This fucking childhood is getting bad. But he's got a stepfather. Yeah. That's a source of light for him.

Until he's electrocuted and killed in the attic of his house. Holy shit. So, I mean. That's not even funny. No, it's fucking horrible. But it's hysterical. It's just a wealth of tragedy. The one positive thing in his life is taken away by a freak accident.

Freak accident. Fucking awful. How many people have been electrocuted to death in your home, Jimmy? Very few, I imagine, right? Have you ever grabbed a light switch and it shocked you? Yeah. Of course. Yeah.

That happens to everybody. I didn't die in the attic, though, thankfully. It only takes one amp to kill you, and there's plenty in your fucking service to do it. Dude, I'm telling you, man. It's bananas. This is fucking nuts here. This is nuts. He took service to do it.

Dude, I'm telling you, man, this is fucking nuts here. This is nuts. So he didn't know what to do with himself. Claims that around age 11, 1966, he already started drinking. Yeah, as you would. I don't see how you wouldn't. This didn't happen in fucking 62. Yeah, I don't see how you wouldn't start drinking at this age, just to dull the pain of what's going on around you here. Now, he didn't know what to do with himself.

He was looking. He's always looking for his father's approval as a young man. Of course. Everybody says, his sister says it. Jake looked up to his dad and wanted his dad's approval all the time because he's a young kid and that's what kids want. Even if your dad's a monster, you still want him to love you and be impressed with you. You feel like, we'll skip it, but I could go on for fucking hours about this. No, no, yes. There's a longing. I get what you're saying on for fucking hours. No, no. Yes.

There's a there's a longing. I know what you're saying. I know exactly where you're going. We'll have an in their own words here. And you're hoping that that person can change and be something that you expect them to be. And it's not going to happen. But a monster like that is never going to be anything but. It is not going to happen. Let's find out in their own words what he feels about his dad in this whole situation.

In their own words, quote, my dad was never there for me. I would do anything to gain my father's love. And I reached a point, I was out of high school and I was going to go to college. I said, dad, I'm going to go to college. And he said, good luck. Right then, I said, if you're ever going to get him to love you, you're going to have to be better than

he is at what he does. So he said he walked out to the ring, and he jumped in and got the crap beat out of him. Then he talks about how later on, you know, he walked in the, you know, just a typical wrestling match when he was a kid, and his dad said he was sucked and he would never amount to anything. Wow. And he said, okay, fine, that's fine.

This is his quote on this. Okay, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to shove this business up his rear. And guess what? I did it, and guess what? It didn't fucking matter. No, it didn't work. Because it doesn't, they don't care. That's the last thing I do, I'm going to shove this business up his rear. And guess what? I did it. And guess what? It didn't fucking matter. No, it didn't work. Because they don't care. That's the thing.

No. You can't get him to care. Right. That's the problem. He's a heartless son of a bitch. You can piss him off. You can do these, but you're not going to get him to care. No.

That's the difference. And that's all you really want. And that's the problem here. That's all you're never going to get. All you're never going to get. So 1974, he begins in the wrestling business. He said his dad helped him. None at all.

I saw an interviewer. They said, well, what did your dad teach you? And he said, nothing. Not a goddamn thing. He told me not to do it. He just didn't want me around and whatever. So he starts in. He's a referee at first. He's working down southern territories. He's working Georgia. He's working mid-south. Do they have a snake with him? No.

No snake till WWF. This is just, he's just Jake Roberts. And he's in Georgia. He's working mid-South. Do they have a snake with him? No. No snake till WWF. Okay. This is just, he's just Jake Roberts. Okay. And he's, well, he's nothing. He's just the ref at one point. And meanwhile, neither of those names mean shit to him. No.

That's weird. Not at all. So it's just, yeah. It's so weird. Well, yeah. His dad's Grizzly Smith. Right. So, I mean, he doesn't use what he.

So he just picks something that has zero to do with his identity. Well, yeah, he couldn't be Jake Smith. No. You know what I mean? So I guess Jake Roberts. Yeah. I don't know why that makes zero to do with his identity. Well, yeah, it couldn't be Jake Smith. No. You know what I mean? So I guess Jake Roberts. I don't know why that makes it any better, but whatever. So anyways, down there, he's in Georgia. He's in Mid-South there with Bill Watts and that whole thing down in Oklahoma, Louisiana,

that whole area down in Georgia. Do you have a name on his ex-stepfather? I do not have a name on his stepfather. I wish we knew. I wonder if it's Roberts. I'm not sure. That's a possibility, too. That'd not sure. That's a possibility, too. That'd be great.

That's a possibility, also. And that's, I mean, it's hard to be hard to find those records from the 60s. I'm just saying that'd be amazing if his name was Jake Roberts. Yeah, that would make sense. And he jammed it up his dad's ass as Jake Roberts. Or his last name was Roberts. Or that might have been his mom's maiden name of Roberts. Or anything, yeah.

He might have just said that's easy. It means something to him somewhere. Yeah, who knows? It's got to. Yeah, who knows what it is? And you know what? Sometimes it doesn't mean shit, but sometimes some guy backstage gave it to you. Yeah.

They were like, hey, you should be that. And you're like, okay. And then you start to get a little renown and now it's stuck. Now you're shit. Now you're that guy. Period. There's a ton of stories. That's why you're Sam Houston.

Yeah. No, there's a ton of stories of wrestlers that just got their name like somebody stuck a gimmick on them type of thing. Like, we need this for tonight. Sure. And then it just ended up sticking, and then that's what they are. Awful. Which is, that's a shit way to go. It's got to be how Hulk Hogan got his.

No, Hulk Hogan, well, Hulk Hogan started out as, he started out as. Terry? No, he started out as Terry Boulder. He was Terry Boulder. He had Brutus Beefcake with him there, and they were the Boulder brothers. Got it. And it was Dizzy Boulder and Terry Boulder. He was Terry Boulder. He had Brutus Beefcake with him there, and they were the Boulder brothers. Got it. It was Dizzy Boulder and Terry Boulder. Okay.

And then he went on. Yeah, it's silly. So stupid. And then Vince McMahon Sr. thought he looked Irish. Well, in the 70s and early 80s, 70s and like 1980, 81, the New York territory, WWF at the time, was all about ethnicity. Okay. It was like you get a Puerto Rican guy, you get an Italian guy, you get a Polish guy. You get a Samoan.

Exactly. No, you get a Japanese guy, and that brings all the fans in. That's what you do. So they had Bruno, they had Pedro Morales. Some for everyone. They had all those guys. They had Bob Backlund, a cracker-ass ginger fucking freckle-faced redhead as the champ. They had those guys back then, and it was that sort of thing.

So you're kind of just an ethnic. Bring it together with the ethnicities in New York. That's pretty funny. It is. That's how they did it. It is. And then Hulk Hogan, he was like, well, he looks Irish, I think. He's a big blonde guy.

What if that looks Irish? So they made him the Incredible Hulk Hogan. And then he was like the Incredible Hulk. He looks fucking Norwegian to me. He doesn't look... Well, fuck it. Irish, what? Because he's balding? And his last name's Balea, which is not Irish at all in real life.

So it's not. So, yeah, he would do that, and then they made him the Incredible Hulk Hogan. Got it. And he went to AWA and blah, blah, blah, that whole thing in Minnesota. So, anyway, Jake's wrestling now. He started wrestling. He's doing southern territories, bottom of the card, reffing. And these are the type of guys that

on TV, they'll work three times. They'll get beat in the same TV taping. They'll come out once as themselves. They'll come out another time under a mask. Then they'll come out again under a different mask as a tag team. They'll get beat up three times in the same show. That's what they would do with guys. Why

pay three different guys? Pay the same guy, he'll go out three times. It's a lot cheaper and whatever. When things are going well, you know, why pay three different guys? You pay the same guy, he'll go out three times. Right. So it's a lot cheaper and whatever. But he, when things are going well, you know what you got to do, Jimmy. You know what you got to do. Time to have some kids. Time to get married. Yeah. It's time to get married.

Fuck yeah. I would say at 20, he's got a good grip on what the world is. And also, he's seen some excellent examples of relationships growing up. He's at least seen what not to do. That's a good point. Let's see if he continues and knows what not to do. On February 27, 1975, he marries his first wife. His first wife.

You know there'll be more. Come on. Jesus Christ here. I love that. He's a wrestler. He's an athlete. Never mind he's a wrestler. He's an athlete.

They're going to do that here. He marries his first wife here. It's Karen Roschuber. That ends 1975. July of 75. So she was knocked up when they got married. They have a daughter named Brandy Grace. What? Who we'll talk about later on.

Brandy. Brandy Grace. Brandy Grace. Brandy we'll talk about later on because, whoa, that's a sad, sad girl at one point when we see her. Jesus Christ. She's the most depressing person I've ever fucking seen in my life i think he saw it when she was born he's just like that baby looks so just indifferent she just doesn't look happy no she just doesn't look like a happy child came out looking at a watch put cartoons on she just looks

the other direction nope not interested she just snubs the goldfish. She snubs everything. Teddy Grahams pushes him off the tray. I shall not have Teddy Grahams now. I think so. She was saying, fuck Golden Grahams. What the fuck? Fuck you, dad, which she'll get into later on. Great. Because Jake is not a great dad.

Shocking. Well, he doesn't know how. A, he doesn't know how. And B, he's never fucking home. And he has no compassion for anybody else. And back then, let's also set a stage here of something. Back then, wrestlers, when they wrestled, especially when he goes to WWF later on, that was 300-plus days a year on the road. On the road, 300-plus days a year.

So, I mean, think about that. You've got fucking less than 60 at home. That is, yeah. And that's, I mean, and also, too, a lot of times their days off, they'd have to do other things. They'd have to do charity things, autograph things, photo shoots. Promotions. Promotions. They'd have to do all these different things.

And that was, you know, their precious days off. Some of these guys, there's guys that went, like there's stories of, I think, Jim the Anvil Neidhardt and a couple guys who went over 90 days on the road straight. Without seeing their family. Without being home. Wow. Imagine being 90 days. And who went over 90 days on the road straight without being home. Wow. Imagine being 90 days. And that's not 90 days you're here for a week, you're there for a week. That is every night you're a different place.

That is get there, go to the hotel. That sounds terrible. Get something to eat, work out, go beat yourself up, do that, go back to the hotel, get on a plane in the red eye next morning, next city, do it again for 90 fucking days. Fuck that. How do you not lose your goddamn mind? Number one. Number two, hard to make you a good family person.

Right. And number three, very easy to get into drugs that way. Yeah. Very easy. Or you need them. You need them. And he explains it later. And it's a known thing for wrestling fans know that it's these guys back then, they

would have to take, they'd take coke to get up. They'd take painkillers because they're in pain all the time. Their muscles are sore. They'd take muscle relaxers and painkillers because they're beating the shit out of each other even if it's planned shit beating you're still getting a hit right you're still falling on a mat and that hurts booze to go to bed and then you need booze to go to well you need sleeping pills and booze so you need like halcyons and shit like that like hardcore fucking narcotics to go to sleep i couldn't do that for two days i'd be dead that's what i mean and then they wake up the next morning and then they got to take a bunch of uppers to get up to go to on

the plane and all that and so it's like to not be groggy yeah it's this constant fucking roller coaster you have to just medicate yourself into it's that's brutal it's a brutal lifestyle so it's a difficult i would imagine to have a uh to be a good family person i'm sure some guys did it i've heard of some guys that you know, kept their families together and all that. But during that time, it was a lot of divorces and a lot of problems. And if they kept it together, they're not superstar wrestlers. That's the other thing. Yeah. Or they had a family that got it. You know, like, you know, I think Hulk Hogan, they probably, you know, his wife at the time.

I mean, his life is still a goddamn mess. It's a mess. But I mean, back at the time, that guy was making fucking untold millions a year. I mean, I'm sure his wife was like, I'll see you in six months. Have a good one. As long as the mortgage is paid. $30 million. I mean, that's the kind of money he was making. Like, it was insanity.

My heart has never been broken more than hearing the phrase, hi, I'm Hulk Hogan, brother, from 1-800-LOAN-MARK. That hurts so bad. That hurt me, too. That hurt me, too, as a child. My inner child went, no. 34 years old hearing that on the radio, and I'm like, no! How fucking, how broke are you?

Fuck, man. How bad did that woman just ruin you when Bubba the Love Sponge banged her? Wait, no, he banged Bubba the Love Sponge's wife, right? Yes, yeah, yeah. Whichever happened. Yeah, that's the other way around. He ends up, Jake ends up, and this is the other thing, too. You're moving around a lot.

Yeah. Some people would take their families with them from territory. And sometimes you'd be somewhere six months. You'd have to move on because this was a time when you'd come in to do a program with somebody. You'd come in to work with somebody, a certain wrestler, a certain angle they had planned. And you'd be there for six months, eight months, ten months. And then you'd move on to the next place. And that's how you did it.

You just kept doing that. That is too much. It is. There's very few guys that got to, like, kind of homestead and stay at their place. Bruno got to do that in New York. You know, he lived in Pittsburgh, and he'd just come in and do the big cities. Harley Race did it in St. Louis and that sort of thing, or Kansas City. Or Kansas City, I meant, for Harley.

They had, like, different guys could do that. But if you were just starting out, you were territory to territory. That sounds awful. Sounds terrible. If you're a single young guy. Great. That's I mean, if you're 22 years old and you're just traveling around, you don't care what fucking kind of money you're making.

You're traveling around. You got beer and you got fucking chicks at the. It's everywhere. There's groupies at every. There's yeah. There's the they call them rats at every fucking. That's the wrestler term for groupie. Sorry, ladies. What a terribleies at every. Everywhere. Yeah. There's the, they call them rats at every fucking, that's the wrestler term for groupie. Sorry, ladies.

What a terrible, terrible way to speak. Ring rats, they call them. Ring rats. Because they're crawling around the ring. They're like chuckle fuckers for comics. Exactly. It's the same thing. And that's the thing I wanted to talk about the most.

Yeah. I've said it before, but we haven't done a wrestling episode in, I think, 30 episodes. Wrestlers and comedians are the exact same person. They're the same fucking thing. I was seeing so many correlations. If you watch it and watch these wrestling documentaries and things like that and just talk, just watch shoot interviews. You can find them on YouTube.

They're called shoot interviews. That's a wrestler not being in character, just being a regular dude talking about his career and shit. They're comedians. It's the same thing. I will say this. We don't get hit in the head with anything. It's comedians are wrestlers minus the body damage. But it's the same thing. I will say this. We don't get hit in the head with anything. Comedians are wrestlers minus the body damage.

But it's the exact same lifestyle. External body damage. Internal, way worse. Way worse. Yeah, it is honestly way worse because at least wrestlers, you have a guy that you're working with out there, a girl, or you have a partner to work with. When you're on stage, it is just fucking you. If it goes bad, at least you can go backstage with the guy and go, Jesus Christ, we fucked that one up, and you can share blame.

If you fuck up bad and get off stage, that's the loneliest thing in the world. Everybody just looks at you like, well, you're a piece of shit, and then you have to wait until the next day. And then you gotta face those fucking people when they leave. Yeah, afterwards, but it's the same thing. They go around town to town, they do the exact same thing every night, because they

go with the same match. I mean, you go around and if it's jake versus rick rude it's every night in pittsburgh jake versus rick rude and then philly jake versus rick rude it's the same fucking thing every night so you're doing the same routine every night yep before twitter and it spoils every fucking instagram videos but that's what it is it's just the same shit every night you go out you do your act you come in you then what do you do you're all jacked up yeah there's a comedy club and wrestling they get over at the same time yeah it's a nighttime thing you're all jacked up from the show right what do you think you're not going to just go back to your hotel and sit there so then you end up going out and drinking and these guys fuck around on their wives it's the same exact fucking thing nightmare and

they're full of shit just like comedians yeah they are that's the other thing and that's the whole thing everything they do they call it's all a work everything's at work they're always fucking working they're always full of shit they're and that's the same thing with comics unless they're standing with another comic right they're full of shit real guy you don't get the real guy only if there's another comic right i was trying to explain this to sarah like if we're there and we're like with a headliner who's a famous person let's say another famous person comes yeah more famous than them a movie star comes in because they were at the club and they saw it and they wanted to say hi or some big athlete or something the comic the big comic the headliner will talk to that guy and be polite to him be nice to him do all that and then once

that guy leaves he will turn to us who he met 10 minutes ago and who we are nobody right and he'll be like this fucking guy bubble bond tell us a whole rash of shit that he would never say to that guy. Never. Because we're in the same club. And that's how wrestlers are. They have a certain handshake that shows you that they know. Wrestlers do?

They have a certain, yeah. They have a handshake that they do. To let you know you're on the inside? Yeah. It's the same thing. And it's like a comic thing. It really is. It's so similar.

It was really disturbing to me to fucking find all this out. Comics only have a few people in their life that they're just themselves with. Outside of that, it's just you don't want anybody inside. No, you can't. You have to have, because what you're portraying outside, what you say on stage, I did this the other day. You didn't fucking do that the other day. None of that happened.

You weren't there. And that's the same thing that wrestlers are doing. You're in this character. I'm going to kick his ass because I'm mad at him. No, you're not. You went out to lunch with him. You're not mad at him. You guys are friends.

You guys sleep in the same hotel room. Exactly. So it's one of those things. So anyway, 1980, Jake is not done having kids, obviously. I mean, he's, come on. He's going to be a terrible father. He's got to pump a bunch out. Let's be realistic here.

All right. He has twin boys be a terrible father. He's got to pump a bunch out. Let's be realistic here. All right. He has twin boys in 1980. What the fuck? Twin boys. That's a problem. Their names? Yeah. Neither of them's named Aurelian.

Don't worry. They might have been saved by the fact that they were twins. What do you call somebody named Aurelian? Jake. There's no short for that. Jake. Yeah, Jake. You call him Jake.

That's why he's... He was like, what's better than Aurelian? It's like Pallorita. Yeah. One word. Jake. You call him Jake. That's why he's he was like, what's better than Aurelian? Yeah, one word. Jake. One syllable. Not fucking around with this Aurelian shit. Hilarious. Names his kids Dustin and Derek which is much better than Aurelian, I guess. That's some Texan names.

That's what it is. Yeah, he's a southern guy. He's a Texas guy. June 6th 1981, his wrestling career is starting to do a little bit better. At this point, he's starting to get a little bit of a name for himself. He's in the Mid-South Territory, which is Bill Watts' crazy ass that we've talked about before.

Ex-Oklahoma football player. Ran WCW in the early 90s. Got himself fired by pissing off a fucking 50th story balcony or some shit. He was trying to get fired. I believe we did. He was trying to get 50th story balcony or some shit. Oh my God. Did we talk about that? I believe we did. He was trying to get fired. Refresher. He's trying to get fired

because he wants to get the rest of his contract but the place is a mess and he doesn't want to quit but he wants out. So he invites all the Ted Turner executives like a big corporate company into his office on the high up on the CNN tower and says hold on one

moment before the fucking meeting starts, goes out to the balcony and pisses off of it in full view of everyone. Shots got fired the next day. The way you you led into that, you said by pissing off and then there was a pause. I thought there was going to be a person of a man, not a building stuff, a CEO somewhere. No, a fucking skyscraper. A skyscraper. Jake's there in 81.

June 6th, 81, he beats the Grappler for the, that's a hell of a wrestling name, the Grappler. He was a masked wrestler, the Grappler. Jesus. Did a lot in Northwest, I believe. I think he was in Portland a lot. Grappler there for the North American heavyweight title. That's kind of like the Intercontinental belt in the WWF if you grew up a WWF fan. So that's something.

If somebody gives you a belt, at least they're saying, I don't think you're a complete piece of shit. And, you know, you belong on the card. So that's a good thing anyway. July 4th, 81, the next month, they have a big Superdome show in New Orleans. They used to have a big Superdome show, I think, four times a year down there. Paul Orndorff, Mr. Wonderful, I don't know if you remember him from the 80s, beat him for that title. 1982. That was for a title.

That was for the title, yeah. That's huge. So he won the North American title in June and then lost it in July. So that's what they would do. They were just, you know, whatever their program was. So 1982, with things going very well uh jake and karen divorce okay because that i'm sure yeah imagine gotta be done oh god imagine what he's doing on the road and she's got two boys in diapers yeah and a girl and this fucking guy

right just running a muck over everything because and he does he just doesn't even have the snake yet no he doesn't have the snake he's not on he doesn't have the snake. He's not on national television. He's not like, he's not, he doesn't have an action figure in a lunchbox. He's not a cartoon character yet. He's just some southern wrestler still. That's the part that's fucking bananas to me. How do you as a father, not him, I mean his dad, as Grizzly, how do you not look to a guy who has been drawn into a fucking cartoon and be like, that's my boy. I'm so proud.

But he was knuckle deep in a 13 year old. So no, that's my boy. I'm so proud. But he was knuckle deep in a 13-year-old. So, no, he's not going to be proud of much. There's a documentary, Beyond the Mat, a lot of people have seen from the 90s where Jake and his father, the guy's traveling around with Jake, and Jake stops at his dad's house and they hang out for the afternoon. And this is, you're going to want to kill Grizzly Smith even more. for the afternoon.

And this is, you're going to want to kill Grizzly Smith even more. And now back to the show. And they do a bunch of yard work. That's what they show. Jake's like shoveling leaves and Grizzly's like, has a giant sledgehammer

just beating a huge rock with it. What the fuck? Not doing anything. For no reason. Just beating a boulder. That's like what he's, I'm going to break this rock up and it's going to take a while. They don't talk or anything and they interview Grizzly and Grizzly says, Jake's got a lot of good qualities about him.

That's all he would come to. That's it. He's got a lot of good qualities about him. And then he says, and this made me fucking, my skin crawl and I was just happy this guy is dead because, grizzly because he said jake was born out of love and i still love him he was born out of love he said he wasn't born out of love he was born out of rape is what he was child molestation it's a four-letter word yeah he was born out of a crime right what he was born at a really bad one as a matter of fact you

fucking utter piece of possibly the worst one it shit possibly the worst one yeah that's worse the only way it could get worse is if he murdered her afterwards yeah that's even worse that might be creepier that might be creepier i'm sorry yes i'm trying to think all options but it still makes the crime the worst crime you don't get to do anything worse out of love. Out of love. Born out of love and I still love him. You mean love for fucking children? For children. For kid fucking.

Yeah, he loves to kid fuck that Grizzly. So then he goes to Georgia Championship Wrestling. Jake does. And Jake at Georgia Championship Wrestling actually was on TBS at the time. Does Grizzly not realize that people know how he was born? They don't know. They don't know at that time. He doesn't know.

The documentary Beyond the Matters is the first time it came out. Wow. Because Jake said it in the documentary. And then later on, his sister backed up that she was molested too, and the whole thing gets all backed up. So when he says that at that point, nobody knows what happened. When he says it in the documentary, it was a horrible thing to say. So when they're filming the documentary, Grizzly didn't know that Jake had said anything about that at all.

So as far as Grizzly knew, that's under the rug. That was 35, 40 years. That was 40 years ago. No one knows about that. That's done and over with. Wow. So, yeah, he goes to Georgia Championship Wrestling, which was on TBS, which was kind of national television a little bit. But, you know, still Southern type of thing.

I remember when I was a kid, TBS was still like everybody on there had a Southern accent. And it was like, oh, I flipped right past that shit. What the fuck is this? No offense, but like where I was from, that was like, what is this? What fucking hee-haw shit am I watching now? The only time I watched it was watch the Braves play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd see like a baseball game.

You'd be like, oh, cool. That's the thing here. He moves there, though. Georgia Championship Wrestling. This is when he kind of really becomes a big success. Probably becomes part of the Legion of Doom stable, which was the Road Warriors and all that. The Road Warriors, who became Legion of Doom later on,

Jake names them the Legion of Doom. Wow. In an interview, he says, I guess we're just a Legion of Doom, and it stuck. That's pretty impressive. He's got a mind like crazy. Blurt that shit out. This guy does interviews,

and this is the main thing about Jake. He's a big guy, 6'5", but he's not a mind like crazy. Blurt that shit out. This guy does interviews, and this is the main thing about Jake. He's a big guy, 6'5", but he's not a big muscle guy, Jake, if you've ever seen him. He's got a body that's not like a big wrestler. Still pretty impressive, though. Oh, impressive. You wouldn't look at him, and he's not like a Hulk Hogan. He's not an oiled-up cut, like a big, look at my bicep. You've never seen Jake flex his muscle.

He's never done that once in the ring. And he's not a real athletic guy either. He doesn't jump high. He's not fast. He's not any of that. But he's so fucking good anyway. He's so fucking good. And this is what pisses me off about wrestling now because you could put him, a guy from the 80s,

you could take 87 Jake and put him in now and he'd figure out how to be really good and have everybody fucking be interested in him. He's charismatic. Oh, my God. His promos, his interviews are the best thing ever for wrestling. I'm sorry. It's like you have Rowdy Rowdy Piper with his insane machine gun promo.

He was so great. You have Ric Flair with his, you know, just profiling and this and that. Just Flair. Being Ric Flair. And then you have Jake, who is the guy who he took it. Everybody else yelled and he whispered. He'd tell you this and I'm going to get you there. He'd have this whisper to him and he'd do it real creepy and he'd stare into the camera. And if you're a little kid, you'd be like, this fucking guy's serious.

He's got a fucking snake around his neck. It's for real. And he looks funny. He's coked out. You can see it in his eyes. He's coked out and he's intense and he's whispering and he's saying these things. You're like, shit, that guy is a no fucking joke right there. That's why everybody loved him.

And people loved him. Yeah, he was intense. And that snake was incredible. And he had a goddamn snake. I mean, you whip out a giant snake and throw it on a guy. Right. That was the problem. We'll get to that when we get there.

He had a six foot fucking boa constrictor. We'll get there in a couple minutes. And he's carrying that shit around. Definitely. So November 6th, 83, he defeats Ronnie Garvin, rugged Ronnie Garvin, old Hansa Stone there, who is a guy who they said was from Charlotte, North Carolina, and he had a French-Canadian accent. The weirdest thing. Ronnie Garvin from Charlotte.

Hello. Thank you. Nice to meet you. You're like, what the fuck is going on here? And he had a yellow flat top. North Carolina. And he had a Ric Flair colored flat top. Perfect.

It's just a weird guy. Anyway, Jake beats him for the NWA national television title. So he's now getting titles in multiple different places. So we're building. 84, he goes to world class championship wrestling. World class was on ESPN for a while. That was Fritz Von Erich's thing here. And in a minute here, we're going to start something.

And I'm not going to include the Von Erich's in it because they're their own disastrous mess. OK. We're going to start because wrestlers have a tendency to, what's the word I'm looking for, croak early. They tend to die. I almost said that earlier. When we were talking about the roller coasters. Why doesn't anybody just understand why wrestlers die so early after all that shit? I just told you all that takes a toll on your body.

And also, you got to imagine on the road for if you're on the road for 30 years, you ate like shit for 30 years, too. And you bar food drugs and ate like shit and slept poorly and beat the fuck out of your body. Meals called like the heart attack or something. Yeah. Two in the morning. I hop. Right. The fuck is open.

Take the heart attack. You're done. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's interesting or whatever the fuck is open. I'll take the heart attack. When you're done. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's interesting, though. But the Von Erics are a whole other thing. I'm going to start, because the wrestlers die so early, I'm going to start just telling you as wrestlers die from this time period. So fun.

Jake's, you know, the people he was with at the time, his kind of generation, we're going to say. So fun. Yeah, so fun. That's terrible. But we're going to go through this whole thing, and we're going to see kind of how Jake lines up with all this and go, how the fuck is he still alive? And then we'll see how it turns out at the end here. But we will not include the Von Eriks in this.

They're all fucking dead except for one. Five brothers, four of them dead. Wow. Dead. So we're not going to count that. They're their own separate thing here. Goes to world class with the Von Eriks. Fritz Von Erik is the guy who runs

that. He is like the grizzly smith of that area. He's a big tall guy named Fritz instead of grizzly. Not his real name, but whatever. So he goes there. He joins up with a guy named Gentleman Chris Adams, who we'll talk about as we know a little bit. We know the Gentleman from episode 43, I believe. So we have Jake and Chris Adams, who we'll talk about, as we know, a little bit. We know the gentleman from episode 43, I believe.

So we have Jake and Chris Adams together, which is just cocaine for days right there. Holy shit. Craziness. And also Gino Hernandez, who we'll talk about because he dies. And another guy who's a huge coke guy, but very fucking talented guy also. We talked about him during the Chris Adams episode because they were tag team partners for a while. They feud against the Von Eriks, which means you're the hot shit there

because they were the top people. He wins the television title there too. They win the six-man tag team title with Adams and Gino Hernandez. So he goes around. So he's doing well. 85, he goes back to Mid-South Wrestling. There must have been a Scarface pile of coke backstage.

Dude, the amount of coke. That six-man tag team with all those fucking, holy shit. And then they would get in a car, because this was in that territory. You get in a car, and then you drive 400 miles to the next town. With a backseat full of coke. With a backseat. Well, they'd get a couple cases of beer for the ride. That was the thing.

Get a couple cases for the ride, and you just do whatever you do. Like my family vacations when I was a kid. Exactly. You do that, and then I guess in this car, the coke would probably be flowing, I would imagine here. 85, he goes back to Mid-South for Bill Watts there, and he's there through 85 into 86. And again, he's starting to really come into his own. But he wears kind of like warm-up pants to the ring, which is a really weird look.

He wears like warm-up pants. With no shirt. With no shirt. But he wears like a karate guy almost would wear, but like they're red most of the time. Super fucking weird anyway. That's an odd ring attire. But he is. The fans.

He's over with the fans. The fans fucking hate him or they love him. He's the type of guy we'll get into when he gets into WWF where even when he's a bad guy, they still cheer for him and they can't keep him a bad guy because he's too fucking cool. He's too cool. It's like you can't

make that guy. It's like you couldn't make Steve Austin a bad guy in the thing because he's just too fucking cool. When Hulk Hogan was a bad guy people still rooted for that was the thing they had in awa they had to turn him a baby face because they had to make him a good guy because it didn't because he was too fucking popular he's this giant guy tossing everybody around how do you not like that guy the road warrior same thing yeah you couldn't make him bad guys the undertaker yeah that was the undertaker was the same exact thing he he beat hulk hogan in the very beginning there and and everybody cheered.

And they went, oh, shit, that's not what's supposed to happen. That fucking choke slam he has is badass. Yeah, well, he cheated and beat Hogan, and it wasn't all boos. Everyone was happy. Everyone was thrilled. It was like, uh-oh, this isn't good. That was fun. Yeah.

So he goes back there. He ends up, he has a feud with Dick Slater that he ends on. And in February of 86, he's done there. He did some things he had some big shows there with chris adams a lot and with uh with uh the von erics and gino hernandez and all them uh june 2nd 1984 by the way we skipped uh he marries another woman oh jesus so he gets another marriage here uh cheryl haygood who we'll talk about because if you watched wrestling in the 80s you've seen her because she was on for about a year. Great.

He married a fucking wrestler. Not a wrestler, just a lady. Then he drags her into the wrestling business. Oh, Christ. That's the other thing you'll find in the wrestling business. Whenever a married couple, whenever a man drags his wife into the wrestling business, that marriage is going to be over fucking fast. There's like three examples of it working, I understand, but the rest of it, just pure

disaster. Pure macho and Liz, the whole thing. It just never works. It's always bad. Always fucking bad. It's just too much shit going on here. And that's true in any fucking profession, by the way. You get your wife involved in what you're doing, you're too close to each other.

You don't have your own time. Yes. You're riding to work together. You're having coffee in the morning together. They you're too close to each other. You don't have your own time. Yes. You're riding to work together. You're having coffee in the morning. They're riding from town to town. There's tons of guys around. There's drugs. He wants to go out afterwards.

This is multiplying that. But if you're a banker and you get your wife into banking, you're going to fucking hate her eventually. It's just the way it goes. That's true. I don't want anybody doing the same fucking thing I do. While he worked at Mid-South, by the way, his dad worked there the whole time as a road agent, and they traveled

together, everybody said. He traveled with his dad. They said they seemed to... So that's what I mean. No one thought there was any even problems between them, because they were like, they travel together. I mean, that's fine. So, oh, by the way, November 1st, 85, let's start the deaths here. Everybody covers wrestler deaths and all

that, but I'm just going to kind of give just a side every once in a while. Hey, by the way, somebody else died. Hey, by the way, Rick McGraw, November 1st, 1985. He's an undersized, short, jacked-up WWF jobber. He'd go in there and get beat up or whatever. But he had spirit, and the crowd kind of liked him for one of the loser squash guys. The crowd still kind of dug him because he was like a jacked up little dude with a lot of spirit.

He dies of a heart attack, and that's drug related, and he's steroids. Yeah, cocaine makes hearts explode. And he's like 28 years old. So, I mean, that's not a natural heart attack here. Jake, talking about his drug use during this time, because this is when it really, really escalates. Wraps up. Yeah.

Jake says, quote, I never used a needle. Thank you, Lord. I used to tell myself I would never, ever do drugs. Never. It's for losers. And we were wrestling 26, 27 days a month, twice on Saturday, twice on Sunday, catching eight, nine airplanes a week. It was basically a necessity.

I can't get enough of somebody that uses drugs saying, thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. Oh, by the way, Jake finds religion on multiple occasions. Jake really gets into it. I never used a needle, thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. Because that's what the Lord was working on. Let's make sure Jake.

No, no, smoke that. Free base it, but don't jam it in your arm. Smoke the crack, Jake. Don't do it here. So he's got a problem there. February 2nd, 1986, Gina Hernandez dies. His ex-partner there

of a cocaine overdose in question in Texas. And this is this very there's conspiracy theories all over this one. He had like more cocaine than a person could physically fucking ingest. He had like half of Columbia in his stomach contents. And like his door was unlocked, which he was a real paranoid cokehead guy. And he had like eight locks and he locked them all as soon as he came in the house.

So they think he was murdered. A lot of people do because he was in with some fucking dubious folks organized crime-wise in the area with cocaine dealing and all that. But how do you force somebody to ingest all that? Eventually they pass out. You know what I mean? Well, you could kill them and put it in them and make them look like you get AODs or something. I don't know how you do that.

But however you do it, people think that it happened. Okay. I don't know. But either way, or he might have just done so much fucking coke that he was too out of it to lock his door that's the possible i'm just saying there's a lot of conspiracy theories maybe he just needed a fix and he was hastily getting it done that's the other thing didn't lock the door on his way in he had like sugar bowls of cocaine in his house and things like that like he because he wasn't just wrestling he he was involved with organized crime.

That's why they were like it would make perfect sense for him to be murdered also. He was starting to get paranoid and carry guns around and shit like that. But he's also doing a ton of coke, which makes you paranoid when you carry guns around. So who fucking knows? Listen, if you don't want to be under suspicion, if you don't want your death to be suspicious and possibly murder or possibly cocaine overdose, I got a good way to do that. How about you don't do it enough and have enough around and be involved in organized crime. That's another thing you can do. And also don't fucking do it. That's the other thing.

There's multiple avenues here that would really, really help out a lot. Number one is don't do it. That's a good start. It would really, really help out a lot. Number one is don't do it. That's a good start. So March of 86, Jake's like, fuck that, leaves Hernandez's dead ass in Texas and moves on. He goes to the WWF, and here's his main giant thing here. He debuts in the WWF.

They talk him into dropping the sweatpants and giving him some snake tights. They were green with a snake on the side, different colors. He'd have white ones with the snake that slithered around his leg, the snake logo. And most of all, they give him Damien, who is like a fucking 12-foot-long, enormous python. They bought that for him. Oh, not just bought that for him. They had an animal guy. The way Damien works is they have an animal guy, a wrangler, because back then they had

a bird. If you remember, they had Frankie, Kogelbewer's bird. They had Matilda, the had an animal guy. The way Damien works is they have an animal guy, a wrangler, because back then they had a bird. If you remember, they had Frankie, Coco Beware's bird. They had Matilda, the fucking British bulldog. They had Ricky the dragon later. They had a fucking Komodo dragon he came out with when he was feuding with Jake. There's animals everywhere. It's insanity. They hired like a Ranger Rick to take care of all this shit.

They had different people. The bulldogs had to take care of the dog on their own. I think Coco Beware had his own bird and he did that sort of thing. But Jake, what they would do is they would do TV tapings once a month. They would tape all the four weeks of TV or three weeks of TV and they'd do it once a month. So every TV, he would come in with the snake and they would give him a new snake and feed that snake and rotate out the snake. So then he'd go on the road with it. They'd feed him.

He'd go on the road with it for three weeks, take it back. They'd exchange that with another one, feed that snake. That's how they'd do it. Clever. Yeah, because Jake wasn't going to be responsible. He wasn't a snake handler for feeding this fucking thing on the road. No, he was a fucking coquette. Not only that, a lot of times he needs replacement snakes quicker than that because some mishaps

happen. Really? And we'll talk about these poor fucking snakes. I feel bad for these fucking snakes. These snakes had a tough time here. Wrestling snakes don't have it easy, huh? Oh, fuck. Let's do an in their own word on the road and how that affects your marriage here.

Okay. In their own words. I was just about to say also, how's he not going to take care of a snake? The guy's not even taking care of his fucking kids. No, or himself or anything else. Snakes are going to die. It's going to happen here. In their own words, quote, the road really screwed up my sex life at home.

You go on the road, you get some type of fame or whatever, and all of a sudden you can get that every day. And then all of a sudden you want to get selected. And then all of a sudden one a day is not enough, and you do two a day. Then three a day. Then two at a time. Then two at a time with toys. Then two at a time and I'll just watch. Then it gets more bizarre and more bizarre until it finally gets to a point where you go home to make love to your wife and uh ain't no way man ain't no way that eye wow jesus christ

wow that's some kind of lifestyle how many comics do you know that can describe their exact life like that um maybe more and more bizarre that you know personally but how many do you know oh i'm sure there are so many that That's how they all act. So many. Not all of them, but there's a lot of comics that act like that. It's like they've gotten so fucking bizarre with shit that they can't even be normal anymore. There are some famous ones that you guys would be fucking destroyed. Drop your fucking jaws, man. You'd never watch their stand-up again.

We know too much. This is what I mean. We know too much information. And we can't tell anybody. No. It's like we're like, shh. That's not nice. No.

Well, we've been entrusted with information in a closed circle. That's why you trust comics because they don't say shit like that. Because they don't just go on blab. So April 7th, 1986. No, I know. April 7th, 1986 is WrestleMania 2. So number two, they have the New York, Chicago, L.A., three different venue thing that they do. Jake is in Madison Square, or in Nassau Coliseum in New York against George Wells.

Jake's brand new. He's only been on TV a couple weeks. People really aren't sure who he is. When he comes out, George Wells is an ex-Canadian football player, kind of a big bald-headed black dude. Got it. And beats up George Wells pretty quickly and DDT's him. Wow. He shows off the DDT.

And the DDT discovered in Mid-South by tripping and falling. He had a guy in a front face lock and he tripped and fell down. And the guy was just like, fuck, cover me. That looked good. That probably looked good. It looked like it hurt me. And so he covered him and he was like, fuck, that's a move. That's my shit.

That's a DDT. Got it. Which is, you see that, it's constant in wrestling matches forever. What does that shit stand for? It was the poison. That poison shit that they, I don't that, it's constant in wrestling matches forever. What does that shit stand for? It was the poison. That poison shit that they, I don't know what it's called. Whatever poison they'd spray in the 50s and give kids cancer. So they're just calling it the DDT?

The DDT, like that, because it knocks you out like that. That's the thing. The DDT puts a guy in a front face lock, drops down, and the guy's out cold. That's it, done. It's fucking amazing. The ultimate finisher. Because, yeah, it's immediately out. If he gets you, you can get it from any angle. It was that sort of thing.

It was a cool move. Dichloride, fentanyl, trichlorine. Yep, that's the stuff. That's the one. Dichloride, phenyl, trichlorine, thane. Yes. That's the stuff. That's the stuff right there.

And that's what you get when you wrestle fucking Jake the Snake. That's it right there. You get that. He gives you dichlorotyl. A front face lock does the same shit that that does pretty much that's what they're trying to say and then what he would do is he'd knock you out with the ddt roll you over pin you and then you're out cold so what is he going to do he's going to take that giant snake out of the bag he's going to put him on you and wrap him around your neck and let the snake slither around you and all the kids like me were like oh oh, my God, I can't believe it. So there's no way that that guy is going to remain a bad guy.

No, because he's a bad guy at this point. He's a fucking heel all the way. They're trying to make him. He's trying to be all mean and make these faces. But the people are cheering at him because he's got a fucking snake and he's kind of cool. Nobody else has a fucking snake. And he's cool and he's badass and he has cool moves, too.

He does moves that people don't do and moves they should do now. Back then, too, with the 80s, snakes were cool in that music. And he had snake skin boots, too. And he looked like a rock star. He looked like a fucking rock star, kind of, with a big snake on. If Alice Cooper didn't look like a fucking scrawny weirdo, that's who Alice Cooper would want to be. If he wasn't 4'7". Yeah, which he actually,

WrestleMania 3, teams up with Alice Cooper. Really? Alice Cooper's in his corner, yeah. Out there with like a fucking cane and a fucking puffy sleeve white shirt. Yeah, he was trying to be cool and wanted to hold the snake and all that shit.

But anyway, so Jake is doing that. That's his whole thing that he does. He's a mean, bad guy. Starts a feud with Ricky Steamboat, whose real name, Jimmy, Dick Moss. Put Dick Moss back on the shelf from last week. He thought Dick Moss was... You know what this man's real

given name is? Could it be worse? Is it Cock Lettuce? Yes! It makes that... He would pray his name was Cock Lettuce. You'll understand why he goes by Ricky Steamboat in the ring. His real name is Richard Blood. His name is richard blood his name is dick blood his name is dick blood dick blood this is dick moss how do you not take dick blood blood as your fucking name dick blood you can't be dick as a wrestler you

can't be oh you will figure out a dick move blood coming from your dick i would have kept the blood and dropped the richard why couldn't he have been Ricky Blood instead of Ricky Steamboat? I don't know. Dick Blood is fantastic. They ended up giving him the name Steamboat to say he was a cousin of somebody who was already named Steamboat. And then it just stuck. That's the thing. Mickey Mouse?

They gave him a fucking, they gave him a, that was one of those. They gave him a gimmick. You're like, you're Steamboat's cousin. You're Ricky Steamboat from Hawaii. And he was like, okay. And then next thing you know, he's still fucking Ricky Steamboat 40 years later. And we talked about Ricky Steamboat in the Buck Zumhoff episode because he trained with Buck Zumhoff. It's all circular shit.

It would have been great just like on a TV show. Just be like, I've been going by Steamboat, but I want to go by my real name. I am Dick Blood. Dick Blood. Got a problem with that? But he was like a nice guy. He was a baby-faced good guy. My mom named me the day I was circumcised. Dick blood. Got a problem with that? But he was like a nice guy. He was a baby face good guy. My mom named me the day I was circumcised.

Dick blood. But you can't go out and kiss babies and wave to the fans if you're dick blood. Dick blood's a bad guy. Dick blood's a bad guy. He's not a good guy. You cannot be dick blood and ask for cheers. That's fucking awesome. Now you could, but not in the 80s.

People would be like, dick blood? I don't think that's right. Like Johnny Wad. I don't think dick blood is right at all.'s now you could but not in the 80s he'll be like dick blood i don't think that's right like johnny wad dick blood it's right at all that's not right at all uh that's so fucking great he's feuds with ricky steamboat real name that's his real fucking name real name uh he feuds with ricky steamboat ricky steamboat has a komodo dragon to combat his python right so jake would do these promos, these interviews before Saturday night's main event, which was the late night NBC show, where he was in a shower on one. And he's got the snake. In the shower? He's in one of those locker room showers.

And he's got the water coming down on him and the snake. And he's holding the snake up. And he's talking all this shit because the snake's going to all steam and shit with the snake. It's fucking badass. You're like, dude, this is badass. Jesus. In the 80s, that was cool, you know. So anyway, he DDT's Ricky Steamboat on the concrete.

Amazing. Accidentally knocks him out for real. Wow. Has to get him back in the ring so you see him. He has to pick him up by his belt loop and just fucking like, come on, asshole, and fucking haul his carcass into the ring. It's pretty funny to watch when you know that he actually knocked him out by accident. That happens. He wrestles

at a big show, August 26th, 1986. It's the Big Event, it's called. Real creative, WWE, on your naming back then. The Big Event, it's in Toronto. It draws 64,000 people. That's a fucking crowd right there, man. That is a crowd.

I'm thinking about the amount of money. Amazing. That money is insane. Not just from ticket prices. You're talking about merchandise sold. Merchandise, yeah. You're talking about drinks and fucking everything. All that shit. Dude, killing it.

Crushing. That probably generated half a million dollars. Man, and that was Hulk Hogan and Paul Orndorff were the main event on that one. So anyway, good guy, bad guy type of thing. They give him an interview segment called the Snake Pit where there's a big stone pit in the middle of it with fucking Damien in there. And he's walking around with a microphone and a big snake skin trench coat interviewing people and being a bad guy. And this is one of those things where he would just – these guys can't hang with him mentally. So he would just run circles around them, say jokes that they didn't get about them and shit.

Like he was fucking just too smart for this shit. Yeah, he was so great. During this starts the feud with the Honky Tonk Man. Oh, great. This is the guy I figure you would be if you were a wrestler, the Honky Tonk Man. Because I mean this as a compliment. I liked him. When I was a kid, I wanted to murder him.

I'm like as a compliment. I liked him. When I was a kid, I wanted to murder him. I'm like, this fucking guy. If you'd never seen him, he was this bad guy who would come out, and he would come out dressed like Elvis. He'd have a big Elvis pompadour. He's a fucking fat guy, too. No, he wasn't that fat back in the day. He's chubby. He's got a belly.

Back in the day, he was. Now, if you go to Comic-Con at all, he's there. Really? Name a Comic-Con. Honky Tonk Man is there with the Intercontinental Championship. Get out of here. I swear to God, every single one, he makes a fortune. Really? Name a Comic-Con. Honky Tonk Man is there with the Intercontinental Championship. Get out of here. Swear to God, every single one he makes a fortune. Kills it. Cleans up. Got a real

good personality. He's really funny. So if people want to talk to him. Okay, no, I'm thinking of somebody else. Who am I thinking of? The big fat guy in the overalls with the no, is that him? Bill Billy Jim? That's the one. Okay, he wasn't that fat either. He's really tall. With the beard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of looked like a ZZ Top guy.

No, Honky Tonk, man, because the personality, you would have gotten a kick out of this. Because when I was nine, I wanted him dead. By the time I was like 11, I realized what he was doing. And I was like, oh, this guy's fucking brilliant. He's making those people want to kill him. This is great. That's his job. I finally figured it out.

And he would come in the ring with his music playing that he sang. And he would have a microphone and a guitar and have the Elvis jumpsuit. Big ear to ear smile while people hated his fucking guts and booed at me. Go, I love you. Thank you so much, everybody. Really, from the bottom of my heart, the honky tonk man appreciates everybody out there. Tell you what, guys, just for being such a great crowd, I'm going to sing it one more time, everybody. And they'd be like, yo, motherfucker.

And he'd just be like alright everybody and just oh my people love me and he'd smile and fucking eat it up and people throw shit at him and they wanted to murder him but he was so great and people actually ended up liking him later you hate him so much that you want him there that's the thing that he was the unlockable character

in video games yeah absolutely so I could picture that being your character like going out and loving to just, these people think they hate me now? How about this? Wait till the second verse is the same as the first. Exactly. That sort of thing.

During this, in the snake pit, there's Jimmy Hart and Jake the Snake Roberts. Jimmy Hart is Honky Tonk Man's manager. Jimmy Hart's talking all sorts of shit. He's like a little mouse. Honky Tonk Man hits Jake the Snake in the back with a guitar, which happened all the time back then. I've seen interviews with – this took a lot of research because I've seen interviews with Honky Tonk Man about this. I've seen interviews with Jake about this. And Jake claims that this injured his neck, blew out a couple discs in his neck and caused him to be addicted

to pills which caused him to go to rehab for coke okay which makes no sense but that's what he says he went to rehab for coke but he said it was because he was addicted to pills because of this guitar shot meanwhile he'd been doing coke and pills for years before this but he tried to blame it on this right and so hockey talk man in this interview is like i mean this is from like three years ago he's like you, this is not like fucking. He's like, he was smoking crack before that. Like, you can't then blame that shit on the guitar. He's like, I'm not saying it didn't hurt him, but it didn't fucking make him a drug addict.

He was a drug addict already. But Honky Tonk Man says the guitar was gimmicked. He says they went with an X-Acto knife and they fucking filleted it and they cut it and they tried to make it. Yeah, because they got him a guitar first, like a big one and he said, I can't hit this fucking guy with this thing. It's going to kill him. It's going to break his neck. It's going to make him a coke head. It's huge. It was like a big ovation one and he's like, I can't use this shit. What are you doing?

So they gave him another one and he's like, alright. It was like a fiberglass one. And so they scored it and everything. But apparently there was also a metal bar that went through it. And they didn't take it apart to find that out. So he waffled Jake with it. Jake fucking went down.

Because, I mean, right in the back of the neck and head. I mean, he got fucking wailed with it. And you had to have it wail it to break it so it looked good. It's still not Piper and a coconut. That's fucking much harder. But Jake isn't also from Fiji. So he's going to be a lot less tough for this sort of thing. So anyway, this has been going on for 30 years.

They're still going back and forth of whose fault it was. They're still friends, but they go back and it's you did it. You're already a crackhead with what you're talking about. You know what I mean? So February 21st, 87, there's a Saturday night's main event. And I'm only saying this because I watched it with my grandfather at like 11 30 at night and as for some reason one of these memories i had as a child of watching jake the snake fight king kong bundy oh okay and uh on saturday night's main event and we ate cold pizza and rowdy rowdy piper it was he was going to retire after wrestlemania 3 so they had a

rowdy rowdy piper video to the frank sinatra my way song over and i remember that for 30 years and you're gonna bond with Grandpa over that one for sure. And we sat there and watched it. Yeah, we sat there and watched it. All those old men from the East Coast liked wrestling because that was on in the 50s. And that goddamn song. And that too. Well, Sinatra is an old guinea.

What do you want? But that song is like everything that epitomizes that old guinea. That's true. That's the one. So March 29th, 1987 ismania 3 at the pontiac silver dome between michigan this is the big one yeah this is uh wwf said 93 000 people but the actual number is about 78 000 people constantly brings this one yes because this is 9300 000 people but the real number is about 78 000 there's a weird thing with they went back and forth with they had

to have a higher number than the Pope. So they would have the indoor world attendance record. But the thing doesn't even hold $93,000. But they had already made up a number for the Pope, a bullshit number. So then they made up a higher bullshit number. So now after that, the Pope came back. They made up an even higher bullshit number than that bullshit number, which had never held any of those things. Like Trump's inauguration.

Yeah, it's just all bullshit, everything. It's insane. He fights Honky Tonk Man with Alice Cooper in his corner. So he's in front of the biggest thing in the world. This was a huge event, 78,000 people. He is fighting on this on pay-per-view with a rock star in his corner. Wow. I'm going to say it now.

This is it? This is grace. This is grace. This is schools out for summertime for him? Schools out for summer because right after this, he goes into rehab for drugs and problems. Right after this? Pretty much. In the next couple weeks, he goes in and out of rehab.

He's out for months. He's failing because they started instituting drug tests in 87 when I think it was when Sheik and Duggan got caught in the same car together. Oh, okay. Yeah, Sheik and King Kong. And Jim Duggan on the Jersey Turnpike got caught with coke in the car. So they started testing and Vince was having none of the cocaine shit anymore. And Sheik is having as much cocaine as he can.

By the way, if you don't follow the Sheik on Twitter right now, he's a mess. Your life is so incomplete. Find him on Twitter and follow him. It's fucking fantastic. Just reading his broken English is my favorite thing. The funny thing is what they didn't do is they didn't tell everybody that he was gone for months. So people like me who then went on September 21st, 1987 to Madison Square Garden when I'm nine years old and it's the greatest fucking day of my life. And we go there.

And then you find out in the last match when it's supposed to be Jake and Hunky Tonk Man that Jake isn't fucking there. Oh, no. And I find out later it's rehab. But it's okay because they replaced him with Macho Man. Oh, that's great. So it was Macho Man and him and Hulk Hogan and one man gang. It was great. Fantastic.

Rest in peace, Macho Man. Had a good time. Ah, we love Macho. Oh, we'll talk about him. He's dead. This year, late 87 uh his brother and sister both come to the wwf okay so robin comes in she becomes a woman's champ roncan robin and sam houston comes in doing first match jobs for everybody just to yeah but hey it's

probably making better money than he was doing that for you know probably making better money then than i am now that's the other thing yeah uh november 26th 87 survivor series it's the first survivor series uh listen to this team if you're an old-timey wrestling fan if you're not it won't mean anything to you but it was jake the snake brutus beefcake hacksaw jim duggan macho man savage and ricky the dragon steamboat that's one team wow that's like fucking five amazing It's amazing. Hugest legends. Beefcake sucked, but whatever. It's fine. It's a name. It's still a huge name.

And Harley Race was on the other side. Honky Tonk, man. It's crazy. March 27th, 88 is WrestleMania four. This is in Trump Tower. They go there and basically the casino made a deal to buy half the tickets for the thing. So they knew they had a sellout. They just did that.

His sister sings the America the Beautiful before the thing starts. She sings it. Apparently, I heard this from a show recently, the Something to Wrestle show with Bruce Prichard. He was talking about this and I thought it was fucking hilarious. They were saying that I guess she just went in and she's like, I can sing. And Vince thought that was awesome. He's like, she can sing. That's amazing.

They're like, we're going to have albums. She said it like that. We're going to have albums and we're going to have videos. This is going to be incredible. She's going to be Tiffany. That's what they said. She's going to be a star. And then she goes out there, let's hear her sing.

But he didn't make her sing. He just trusted her. And she goes out in the ring with her wrestling gear on, rockin' Robin, and she's just, America. America. Like, she sings fine for a chick in the shower that doesn't sing. Like, she'd be like a downer at karaoke, where you're like, oh, that's not that great, and then we'll go on to something. But she did it in front of a pay-per-view audience, 18,000 people live, and Vince going,

she's going to be a star. You're telling me Vince is no Simon Cowell apparently no Simon Cowell probably make you sing first before they say let's get him on let's get her on our record somebody put the studio she needs an album I'm liking my Vince McMahon right now this is fun I've never ever done

a Vince McMahon impersonation he's a piece of shit that's funny as shit so yeah he fights... Unbelievable. Jake fights Ravishing Rick Rude in the tournament there. They have a tournament for the heavyweight title. They have a time limit draw, which eliminates both of them. I don't know if you remember Rick Rude with the robe and a fucking amazing character.

What a fucking great stuff here. They start a feud here involving Jake's wife, Cheryl. What the fuck? Bad stuff. Okay. Rick Rude used to do a thing where he took his robe off and he'd say, which one of you fucking whatever, because he would like make fun of

people. Which one of you Midwestern housewife whatever want a kiss from Rick Rude? He'd do the thing and he'd pick a chick out and he'd give her the Rude Awakening or was it the... I think it was the Rude Awakening. That was his finishing move too, but I think he called it that. And he'd kiss them and they'd give her the rude awakening, or was it the... I think it was the rude awakening. That was his finishing move, too, but I think he called it that. And he'd kiss them,

and they'd fall down, and, you know, he'd push them back, and they'd fall and act like they were all so overwhelmed by it. What the fuck? So he picks a chick out in the front row, and it's Jake's wife, Cheryl. And she says, I'm not kissing you, blah, blah, blah, and she says, well, who do you want to kiss? And she's like, well, I'm married

to Jake Roberts, and he's like, ha, married to jake roberts and don't say that and so she he like tries to rape her basically right and so he she smacks him and then uh he like grabs her and then jake fucking runs out and they start fighting obviously you can't fight my wife right and then uh he would come out rick rude would come out before the matches he had these tights where he would airbrush shit onto him he'd have airbrush shit like a belt or shit making fun of his opponent where he would have his wife's face over his crotch. Wow. He'd have his wife's fucking face over his crotch and he would gyrate and shit like so

his dick would stick out of her fucking mouth. It was fucking weird. That's awesome. His dick would poke out of his, like he was a total asshole. Yeah. He was great. I want to know whose idea that was. His.

He was great. That's his. That's amazing. He'd just have shit done. He was a fucking brilliant guy, Rick Rude was. He should have put her face on his dick and then his face on his ass. I think that's what he might have done. Really?

And then Jake, I remember he ripped the tights off and he had another pair on underneath and he had five pairs of tights on. Fucking wrestling, man. It's great. That'd be great. It's so fun. It's like eventually he pulls a pair of pants off and then on the bottom pair, it's just like on one leg, it's the wife bent over,

and the other one, it's like him just behind her. With his hand up, he's going to smack her ass. The rudest awakening tattooed on his ass. That's amazing. The rudest. Taylor Swift is soaring high. Her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process.

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And now back to the show. July 4th, 88, Adrian Adonis, the adorable Adrian Adonis, who was a wrestler forever, AWA, teamed with Jesse the Body Ventura. Then he was adorable, Adrian Adonis, with the dress on and Piper shaved his head. Ridiculous. In WrestleMania III, he dies in a car Piper shaved his head. Ridiculous. In WrestleMania III. He dies in a car accident. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's ridiculous.

He dies in a car accident in Canada. It's him and another guy. And I believe, and I'm not even bullshitting you, how Canadian can this be? They swerved to avoid a moose and crashed into the woods and went into a lake. A moose killed this man. That's amazing. We could have figured that out just by making fun of the accident.

That would have been my first guess. What'd you do? Swerve to avoid a moose? Actually, yes. All right then, moving on. You swerved to avoid a moose and then skid and hit an otter? Apparently so.

Skid and hit a hockey game? Yeah. That happened to a broken apple on the side of the road. Drove onto a frozen lake and hit a hockey game. Fuck. That's hilarious.

Ran right through a curling match. I didn't know what was going to happen. It was awful. Terrible. There was fucking flannel everywhere. Jesus Christ. Poof. Ear flaps to hats all over the place.

Fucking shreds of flannel. Ear flaps separated from their hats. It was a tragedy. Unbelievable. So like two weeks later, July 17th, 1988, Bruiser Brody is killed. Jesus. Bruiser Brody is a big wrestler who looked like kind of a caveman, barbarian type of guy. But he was fucking awesome, Bruiser Brody.

He is stabbed to death in a shower in Puerto Rico by another wrestler who was also the promoter down there. Oh, my God. Yeah, I think he was Invader No. 1. This guy, he stabs him pretty good, and the guy then makes sure to delay the ambulance coming, so he ends up bleeding to death and dying and then gets off on the charge because it's fucking Puerto Rico in the 80s, and there was no law, and this guy was like a big businessman down there. Fuck. He was a well-known guy with connections connections and guess who didn't go to jail?

Nobody paid for it at all. So he died. Wow. A beloved guy, Bruiser Brody. And a lot of wrestlers from that time period never went back to Puerto Rico to wrestle again. I don't blame them. That was like in the loop and they never would go back for that guy because they were like, fuck that guy, which was kind of interesting.

It's during this period that I found out a story from Hacksaw Jim Duggan. He and Jake were road partners. They would travel together, and so I'm sure they were both doing a bunch of coke and whatever and partying and doing all that. And he would say, you know, they'd get fucked up sometimes and blah, blah, blah. And he said one night they were in Detroit, and they, you know, it was winter, and they went out that night, came back, came out the next morning, opened the trunk to put their bags in, and they went, oh, shit, we forgot Damien out here.

Oh, my God. We said the fucking snake was frozen solid. So I said you could knock on him. Frozen fucking solid. I know that's cruel. People are going to be like, you assholes. That is hilarious. It's fucking funny and horrible.

I feel bad for the snake. We're not condoning animal abuse. How did you forget? It's 30 years ago, so it's fucking funny. I'm sorry. So they were like, uh-oh, shit. He said you could, like, tap him on the car, and it was like, ting, ting, ting. Holy shit.

That's worse than, like, that's like a fucking. That's not good. That's like a goddamn National Lampoon's moment. That's crazy. And, yeah, he said so. They do that, and he had to call Vince and go, yeah, we need another snake. This isn't going to work. Oh my God. Another time

I guess people would fuck with the snake and agitate it on purpose. Of course. They'd rip each other. They'd fuck with the snake. They'd agitate. They'd flick cigarettes at it and shit like that to piss it off so it would be tough for Jake to do. So you would get bit. Yeah, it would be harder for him to deal with the snake. So he said one time theish bulldogs who had matilda the bulldog were fucking

with him with that god and he said all right that's cool and so what he did when they went to the ring he fed the dog like as much laxative as he could get and they were at the end of the night and he said they went back to the hotel and they go out to party yeah they leave the dog in the hotel room it's shit everywhere so what he would do is he would go knock on the door and the dog would bark and he'd hear him shitting and farting and because he couldn't control it and that would get him so he'd wait for him to calm down knock again and get him to shit again and he said the guy's room was covered in shit and stuff like that wrestlers have the best fucking like rib stories and fucking with each other they're a lot of fun a lot like comics they always involve semen and drugs and poop and it's

just like comics oh the quick story about fucking comics in the condos because there are comedy condos a lot of these clubs have a condo because they're too cheap to put fucking people in a hotel every goddamn weekend so they just have a condo that they own and they put a comic in it every weekend and those comics do horrible things. Horrible things. Horrible things in these condos. And then leave it for the next comic. It's a very common thing.

It's a known industry joke. They will jerk off in the bed and just leave it. It's disgusting. And you're supposed to know it's there. Yeah, that's what it is. And then you'll find out who's there and you'll text them the second second night that they're in there and be like hey how are those sheets yeah were they a bit crust crusty little little sandpapery yeah it's because i left something there for you because i left something there for you oh man that's what it is so it's this cut from the same

cloth we'll say uh late 88 the same jizz covered cloth Same jizz fucking... Cut from the same jizz rack is what we are. That's exactly right, Jimmy. Okay. Late 80s, he starts a feud with Andre the Giant. Yeah. So he's wrestling Andre, which is pretty cool. Andre apparently didn't like Jake at all and would step on his hair and then try to pull him up at the same time.

Oh, fuck. So he'd rip fucking hair out of his head. Jesus. It's kind of a dick to him. Yeah. They did a stupid angle where Jake had the snake and it gave Andre a heart attack. It was the stupidest thing ever. Super dumb. He fights in the

Survivor Series in 84. Kind of got a featured match there. 88, I mean. November of 88. 89 is kind of another big year for Jake. April 2nd, 89 is WrestleMania 5. He fights Andre the Giant at WrestleMania 5. Just kind of a big deal.

That's kind of cool if you're a wrestling guy. Big John Studd is a special guest referee. If you remember him from the 80s, he was making a comeback at this point, and they were trying to set up a feud between him and Andre. So Big John Studd disqualifies Andre the Giant, so they're mad at each other.

Got it. And then Jake's not involved anymore. It's kind of how you move the feud along and get out of that. It's well-written. Yeah, it's a well-written thing. But it's not involved anymore. It's kind of how you move the feud along and get out of that. It's a well-written. Yeah, it's a well-written thing. But it's not well-written because Andre is pretty much crippled through this whole run. He can barely fucking walk.

And Big John Studd has been taking so much HGH for so many years. His body basically explodes. And he's dead within five years from all sorts of problems. And we'll talk about that. May 10th, 1989, Jake has some trouble. He wrestles Ted DiBiase in a match in Orlando. When the match is over, he goes back to the dressing room and he is arrested immediately. He's arrested there.

What's Ted DiBiase's? Million Dollar Man. That's it. Million Dollar Man. Fucking one of the greatest heels of all time. Unbelievable. He had the thing where he'd make the kid bounce the basketball, bounce it ten times, he'll give you a hundred bucks, and on the ninth

one he'd kick it away and go, sorry kid, you didn't get it. The crowd's gonna fucking hate you for that. What an asshole. Get the cutest kid in the world. Can you bounce the ball ten times? Alright little guy. And then just kick it away and then go, ha ha ha ha ha. Get out of here, you're not getting the money. And kick this kid out of the ring and the kid's like, what the fuck?

Crying and shit. Oh, it's so fucking money. And kick this kid out of the ring. And the kid's like, what the fuck? What the fuck just happened? Crying and shit. Oh, it's so fucking funny. Ted DiBiase's an asshole. What a great gimmick. Got into coke and he was a terrible man. And he did do a lot of coke. And he did a lot of womanizing. And he is so Christian now it's insane because of all that.

I know his nephew. Yeah, oh, you do? Oh, he's so Christian, Ted DiBiase. He's so Christian. He's a goddamn evangelist. Oh, yeah, no, he's a preacher. He's out therease. He's so Christian. He's a goddamn evangelist. He's out there preaching. He does Christian wrestling. He puts together Christian wrestling shows.

Oh, yeah. Oh, good Christ. Apparently, Jake the Snake was arrested on charges that he punched a 5'7 man in Daytona Beach on December 6, 1988. Who was it? Alice Cooper? What do you hear when it was over?

Oh, boy. It was over because Jake said that the women in Daytona Beach were skanky. Wow. And this guy was like, how dare you fucking talk about the women of Daytona Beach that way? We're going to fight. I'm not even kidding. How dare you tell the truth?

This was in a car while they were driving, and they pulled over to fight. Wow. Because this guy was so angry that he was disparaging and besmirching the good name of Daytona Beach and their strip clubs. Jake said they had shit strip clubs. This guy said, that's it. That's all I can stands and I can't stands no more.

You talk about my mother? You can talk shit about my kids? How dare you? Dare you say a sideways word about the fine, fine sex workers of Orlando Daytona Beach. How dare you? How dare you say a sideways word about the fine, fine sex workers of Orlando, Daytona Beach? How dare you? I will not have their name besmirched. That's hysterical.

Oh, man. So they arrest him, and they take the snake into custody, too, because he has it with him. Of course. You've got to arrest that, too. They put handcuffs on it. Yeah, it was in Volusia County there. The warrant was charging its aggravated battery. So it to arrest that, too. They put handcuffs on it. Yeah, it was in Volusa County there. The warrant was charging its aggravated battery. So it's a pretty big thing.

They held the snake. The cops held the snake until Jake was released. He was released on $2,500 bail. The Orlando police lieutenant, Mike Mankin, said, quote, we took care of it. We didn't just throw it around like it was a pair of tennis shoes about the snake. That's nice to know. They said Jake was very cooperative and they posted

bail. He got his snake back and they took off. They had to figure out his real name, obviously, because they didn't know what it was. They booked him as Jake Roberts at first, which isn't fucking that. The guy he beat up is a guy named John Bartlett. Like I said, he's 27 years old. He's an ex-Marine and he claims

that Jake punched him in the face and in the abdomen that night. I'm sure he did. I'm sure he did. Yeah. They said so the cops heard he was going to be back in town and they went and got him here. Bartlett's story is that he met Jake when Jake was in Daytona Beach for a wrestling show. They were in a bar called the Sugar Shack. Oh, boy.

Which sounds, if you said name a Daytona Beach bar, sugar shack, that'd be the first fucking name. Dollhouse, sugar shack, some shit like that. Yeah, it's got like the franzes as a roof. Of course. You know it fucking does it. Palm franzes as a roof. And it's basically like a, because in Florida they don't do full nude.

I think it's like a bikini bar. Okay. The different towns have different ordinances. And I think it's one of those skanky. An actual bikini bar. Yeah, like, because that's all that was legal there. Yeah, it's horrible. It's so dumb.

How gross is that? Yeah. So they're there. Apparently, they're all there. The bunch of wrestlers were there hanging out. And Robert's, I guess, this Bartlett guy said, hey, are you Jake the Snake? And Jake told him, he said, sometimes, was what he told the guy. So I guess after a while, the guy said, well, let me buy you a drink.

I enjoy you. And so Jake never wanted to turn down a free drink. You betcha. They talked and drank and had a few more drinks, and they decided, let's go to another bar and hang out. So he's made a friend here, and this guy's probably buying him drinks, and he'll take you here. About 4 a.m., they're driving on a road called Nova Road, and apparently Jake starts bitching about how Daytona Beach sucks. The women back at the bar were skanky and uh the women here aren't that great right uh that was like i said beyond the

pale uh beyond the pale uh bartlett said that he started to defend his town and say how dare you say that so jake said at one point this is four in the morning after travel wrestling cocaine tons of drinks uh joke jake said quote i ought to stop the car and beat your ass. So apparently the guy said, all right, fine then. So they said, all right. Jake pulled over, got out of the car. Apparently Bartlett claims that Jake walked around to his side of the car, punched him in the eye, punched him in the stomach.

Bartlett said that he didn't hang around after that. He took off because he didn't want to get in a fight with him. His lawyer said, quote, Mr. Bartlett wanted to live. This is a guy a foot taller than you, fights, you know, pretty much fights for a living. He's got an eight foot snake in the backseat. Get the fuck away from that guy if he wants to beat you up here. This guy also filed a civil suit against him looking for damages of over $5,000. Yeah, this guy weighs 160 pounds.

So he's got a foot and 100 pounds on him. He said he needs surgery to put a temporary steel plate in his face because I guess he's got a fractured, quote, eye cup, which I don't know what the fuck that is. Orbital bone, sir. Orbital socket, I think, is what he's trying to get. I got an eye cup that's broken. Yeah. This guy, Bartlett, says, quote, I'm not a movie star, but he really messed up my face.

I guess that's OK. You can punch people if they're not in films, apparently. You're in Daytona Beach, so your face is fine. Yeah. The director of media relations for the World Wrestling Federation said they didn't know anything about it. And they said about Jake Roberts, quote, he's one of our top people. He's a main eventer.

So they're like, he's a great guy. So July 8th, 1989, a couple months later, Jake is convicted of assault on this guy on Bartlett and Daytona Beach. The judge jails him awaiting sentencing. Oh, shit. So jails him up until August 14th for that, revoked his $2,500 bond. Wow. Said he's got to stay in the county lock up until sentencing, which is crazy. That's a problem for WWF.

It is. That's a huge issue for them. Yeah. They're like, oh, that's a lot of money that's coming out. We have these on posters. Yeah. What are we doing here? Yeah.

At one point during the case, Jake fucking begged for mercy, basically. And he said that violence was staged in wrestling and that he's more of a thespian than a fighter. Oh, boy. Look, I'm an actor. What are you doing? And he is. Who says thespian? Thespian he probably shouldn't have gone with

yeah he asked for a new trial before the sentencing but basically they told him no they denied a new trial but they also at the same time conceded that his the judge said that his attorney quote performed dismally

so they said your attorney was terrible but not good not bad enough for you to get a new trial just bad enough for you to be convicted of some shit and have to pay a bunch of money she also uh requires him to do a hundred hours of community service and pay the dude's medical bills here uh he's sentenced to 10 years probation holy shit a lot of probation yeah a ten thousand dollar fine oh my god that That's a lot. He appeals this whole thing here. We'll get into that. April 1st, 1990 is WrestleMania VI at the Toronto Sky Dome.

Wow. That's a huge one. That was Hulk Hogan Ultimate Warrior was the main event there. He fights Ted DiBiase for the Million Dollar Belt, which wasn't even a real championship. Silly. Ted DiBiase wins that by countout. December 31st, 1990, a guy named Ed Gantner dies, who was, I think he's 36 at the time. He was a wrestler, an ex-football player, wrestled in Florida.

So jacked up and roided. I mean, you could, I can't even explain how roided this guy was. It was silly. Silly. Where you look at him and go, dude, you're just bulk. He's just all this, just the upper part of his body, just this huge bulk. I guess about 88, he started having kidney failure. I had to do dialysis.

Ended up, just things were going worse and worse and worse. By the end of 1990, his mental health started to falter. He started calling his parents late at night and not realize it was late at night. He'd get dressed for work and go to his car and sit there for two hours with the keys in the ignition, just thinking he was going. This sounds like CTE to me. Holy shit. Sounds like from all that football and then wrestling.

He probably got hit in the head a few fucking times and it's a big install on him here. Yeah. Because that's absolutely brain damage right there. And he ended up being placed in a psychiatric ward in November 1990 where he stayed all the way up until Christmas. And he was just a complete fucking mess. Actually started faith healing with Reverend Benny Hinn. Oh, good Christ.

Which, you know, that's the end there. That's not great. And then finally, New Year's Eve, December 31st, 1990, he shoots himself in the heart in the kitchen of his parents' home. Holy shit. At 31 years old. Wow. So this is bad stuff. I mean, that guy has nothing to do with Jake, but it's just the whole thing. in the kitchen of his parents' home. Holy shit. At 31 years old. Wow. So this is bad stuff.

I mean, that guy has nothing to do with Jake, but it's just the whole thing. It adds up and all the everything. Jake knew him. Jake knew him, and it's tough, man. Early 1991, he does an angle where Rick Martel blinds him. They spray some shit in his eyes, the arrogance, the perfume, and he's blinded.

And Jake does an amazing job with it. They give him like this gray contact and he acts blind and he's like I just want to see and he's like it's fucking good. It's pretty fucking good stuff where you're like wow this is bad. They make his eye milky. Exactly what they did. March 24th 1991's Wrestlemania 7 this was supposed to be at the Coliseum and have 100,000 people there

but their popularity went way down and no one gave a shit to watch Hulk Hogan and Sergeant Slaughter fight. So they ended up moving it to the L.A. sports arena and getting like 15,000 people in there. And they claimed it was for security reasons because it was for Desert Storm. We decided to give back 80,000 tickets and not take those people because we're worried about security. We're scared more people. We're scared nobody is coming to this country to hurt us.

Exactly. First of all. No shit. At that point, nobody was, there were no terrorists people. Yeah. We were scared nobody is coming to this country to hurt us. Exactly. First of all. No shit. At that point, nobody was, there were no terrorists locally. No. In the country. That's true.

That was, yeah, not no. Domestic terrorists. We were afraid Hussein was going to fire a scud missile over to fucking Orlando or whatever. No. So, yeah, May 31st, or LA, May 31st, 1991, a state appellate court withdraws the conviction for aggravated assault. Really? Because of the attorney being inept. Ineffective assistance of counsel.

It was a two-to-one decision by a three-judge panel in the 5th District Court of Appeals. Bartlett's got to be pissed. Oh, he's got to be super pissed. Yeah, he never got his medical bills paid for, probably. And you know, fucking, he actually punched him and beat the shit out of him here. Apparently, Jake tells them that his attorney apologized for objecting to evidence although he shouldn't have apologized like in court he apologized also jake said he had to rouse him from his motel room the night of the trial the day of the trial he said his lawyer just wasn't real what a fucking garbage yeah uh what in the dissent uh the judge jo Cowart, said that he warned handing out new trials to defendants who claim they had lousy lawyers could, quote, open up the gate to a road that has no end.

People getting actual decent legal representation. We cannot open that box. God forbid. He says, quote, as long as a lawyer is considered sufficiently competent to practice law and a defendant has the unrestricted right to select his lawyer, the defendant should bear the risk. What? No. Those guys.

Fuck. I don't even know what this is. I don't know anything about law. How the fuck do you know? I trusted the guy that I hired. You don't have a batting average. You can't go, well, he had 26 home runs last year, so that's got power. No.

Right. Yeah. So this whole thing here, they said, they're talking about that. It's not going to affect Florida state law because he got a new trial. It's so stupid here. The one of the other judges said about it, quote, it isn't your typical commercial transaction. A person's freedom may be at stake. Right. So it's not like you bought that hamburger. Right. Maybe their kitchen is dirty. It's not the same thing. Also, livelihood, even even if he gets to stay out on the street and he has his freedom, that guy could fucking take him for everything he's worth.

That's the other thing. And that's a problem. And the judge also said, quote, if a person is found guilty of a crime because they committed a crime, it's one thing. If someone is found guilty because of an incompetent lawyer, that's another. Right. Well, yeah, obviously. Fair is fair. Assistant District Attorney Dave Morgan, who represented the state, said that it may just be dropped altogether now.

They may just say, fuck it, never mind. Just fucking don't come back to Daytona Beach and beat up anybody, please. By the sounds of it, you don't want to be there anyway. No. He's still a good guy through all this, Jake. Now he turns bad guy with The Undertaker. There's a big thing with Undertaker and The Ultimate Warrior where he acts like he's Ultimate Warrior's friend and he really turns on him and there's The Undertaker there. Honestly, I didn't like that whole feud. I was just reviewing it. It was fucking lame. And that's the beginning of The Undertaker? I hate's Ultimate Warrior's friend and he really turns on him and there's the Undertaker there. Honestly, I didn't like that whole feud.

I was just reviewing it. It was fucking lame. And that's the beginning of the Undertaker? I hate the Ultimate Warrior. It's right in the beginning of the Undertaker. Yeah. I think he came the year before. So it's like right then when he's going to have a feud with the Ultimate Warrior.

So after SummerSlam here, because they had a SummerSlam 91, he ends up in a feud with Randy Macho Man Savage, which is fucking awesome. They have a Macho Man Savage and Elizabeth have a big marriage ceremony on a pay-per-view, even though they've been married for seven years. And I think they were separated at that point. Yeah. What a mind fuck is that? So sick. So you've been married for seven years, but you're separated.

We're going to pretend you're going to have a wedding. Right. Okay, sure. Right now. Right now. That's normal, right? I know you two actually hate each other for real. Yeah, so in this, they have a reception on TV, a wedding reception.

And the gift from Jake Roberts was a live cobra. Oh, boy. So a cobra popped out of a box. Oh, my God. And so now it's on. Yeah. So, oh, by the way, February 2nd, 1992, Buzz Sawyer dies of a heart failure from a drug overdose. Holy shit. Buzz Sawyer was a fucking lunatic, crazy person, scumbag who used to like to scam young wrestlers for drug money.

He'd basically say like, yeah, kid, give me $1,000 and I'll train you and I'll help you get into territories and stuff like that. And they'd go, okay, and they'd go borrow $1,000 and then he'd leave town the next day. Wow. Like when he knew he was leaving, he'd do that, scam a bunch of guys. He apparently scammed The Undertaker. Really? And Undertaker. Really? And Undertaker wanted to fucking kill him at one point for it. That's amazing.

And didn't have to because he died on his own from a drug overdose because he was also a total fucking drug addict. Also, I think The Undertaker got that money back just fine. I think he made it up. He's very well paid. But this was before that. Right. So he's feuding with Macho Man, by the way, and they do this thing where Jake has the snake bite Macho Man.

Oh, boy. And it's for real. It's a cobra. It's a cobra? It's a de-venomized cobra. Oh, my God. And they're like, we're going to have it bite you. And they just have it bite him.

And so Macho Man didn't believe that it was de-venomized. And he said, if it's de-venomized, let it fucking bite you then. Yeah. So Jake said, all right, and let it bite his leg. And he was like, OK, it bit his leg. And he was like, oh, fuck. All right, then. Well, when they got out in the ring and did it, the fucking Cobra wouldn't let go of his arm.

Oh, my God. So Jake's trying to rip this Cobra out. Oh, my God. And it's fucking sunk in Savage's arm. Oh, my God. It's fucking horrific to watch. It was on television. I can't imagine.

It was on TV. The kids were watching. And there's this Cobra. And you're like, oh, my God. That's the only way to make Jake a bad guy, to make him that much of a fucking piece of shit. And, yeah, he's saying he does these great things where he's saying you know maybe i'll i'll fucking kidnap elizabeth basically and shit like that maybe i'll make her mine like he's real dark and twisted and crazy during this period he's doing like shit that you're like how is they even allowing him to do this on wrestling this is

too good like this is actually good yeah this is actually entertaining. This isn't horse shit. So during this time, he gets pissed off in 92. He wants to have a writing job in the office. He wants to be like a booker. He wants to – he's got a great mind. He wants to help fucking plan what's going on. And Pat Patterson at the time, who was a long time – he's a wrestler forever, first intercontinental champion, and also the Vince McMahon's goto matchmaker, Booker Guy, who would do all the finishes for the matches and all that. Huge scandal with him at this point, with him allegedly molesting kids who were on the ring crew.

Really? There's a big ring boy scandal, they called it in the 80s, with the WWF, where they had this ring announcer named Mel Phillips, and there was this whole crew of young guys, teenagers, who would do the ring. They had the ring crew guys, and apparently they were doing some weird untoward shit with them. There's an episode of Donahue from the 1991 where they talk about it, and there's a bunch of wrestlers on it, and it's really interesting, actually. Wow. There are a lot of accusations flying around out there. Holy shit.

So anyway, Patterson has to step away for a little while. By the way, he came back like two years later and is still with the company. Really? Still does like the interview shows with them and all that. No problem. I hope that's a hashtag me too moment. Oof, man. I want that to come out.

There's been plenty of that. Roddy Roddy Piper does an interview where he basically said he fucking, when Piper was a very young guy, about 17, breaking into the business, that Pat Patterson made him do things that he was a little regretful of later on and stuff like that. So he's an interesting guy, Pat Patterson. Wow. But anyway, Jake wants to take his place on the writing team. There wasn't a writing team. It was just as like kind of the booker.

Now there's a huge writing staff. Back then there wasn't. just as like the kind of the booker. Now there's a huge writing staff. Back then there wasn't. And Vince McMahon said that he wasn't going to, he was going to leave the spot vacant out of respect for Pat Patterson and his diddling. And so Jake was pissed off and didn't want to fucking work there anymore.

And he said he wasn't going to, he basically released me from my contract or I'm not showing up at WrestleMania, he told him. So they said, all right, fine, you're released. He showed up at WrestleMania, does a match with The Undertaker, and then he's gone. He signs a contract with WCW. This is fucked up. He agrees to a contract with WCW.

A guy named Kip Frye was the guy who ran it. He was just a television executive or whatever guy. He's signing guys to big contracts. He signs Jake. Basically, Jake has to wait 90 days to sign a new contract. It's the contract rollover period. That's the way it works. So the way it is, they say on the 87th day, but who knows if it was that, whatever, Kip Fry gets fired, okay?

Or gets stepped down. They end up putting who in charge? Bill Watts, the guy who does not fucking like him, the guy who pisses off the building, okay? in charge, Bill Watts, the guy who does not fucking like him, the guy who pisses off the building. Okay? He had a deal for what Jake says, and we'll say he's exaggerating for, call these cocaine numbers. He says it's

about $3 million a year they're offering him. Probably a million a year. He says it's $3 million a year, and Bill Watts, he said, laughed at him and tore the contract up in his face and said, I'll give you $200,000. How's that? And so he had no choice but to fucking do it because he just quit to come here. And not only quit, burned his fucking bridge by saying, I won't show up at WrestleMania

if you don't let me out of my contract. So Bill Watts fucked him good, according to him. Wow. So then he goes to WCW. January 1st, 93, Andre the Giant dies. That's not wrestling's fault. No. He's just a freak of nature.

That's his fault at that point. Much too big uh a heart can't sustain that body no uh jake only lasts a few months in wcw and he's gone because the guy in charge fucking hates him right uh march 11 93 uh dino bravo dies dino bravo is a canadian wrestler big jacked up strong man uh basically he was related by marriage to a gangster up in mont. He's a French Canadian guy. And what he would do is he would smuggling illegal cigarettes into Canada is a huge deal for some reason for the tax things. So what he would do is they would sneak them in and they would sell them on a lot of times a reservation. They would go sell them on. Apparently that something went bad with a warehouse full of cigarettes

according to rick martell who i watched an interview about this piece dude this took me forever patreon.com slash crime and sports so uh apparently this all happened here he was selling illegal cigarettes and apparently there was a warehouse full of cigarettes that something happened to and he pissed off the gangsters that he was involved in oh no and so on this day march 11th 83 or 93 uh his wife took his daughter to a ballet class. He sits down to watch hockey. And at some point during the hockey game and before they came home from ballet class, he shot 17 times in his living room. Oh, shit.

Yes, seven to the head, ten to the torso. Oh, my God. Sprayed him up just completely. No forced entry. No nothing. They must have let them in. It was people that he was with. His partners killed him. That's all it was. It's people that he was with. It was his partners that killed him.

That's all it was. It's an unsolved murder still to this day because it's a mob killing up there. No footprints outside. No signs of a break-in. They said, you know, they wouldn't have, like, confronted him. They would have definitely played it cool because, you know, he could bench press, like, 600 pounds. He'd rip your fucking arms off. So that's the sort of thing.

So who finds him? The wife and daughter when they come home. Oh, fuck. Fucking horrible. Dead in the living room with, I mean, you can imagine what the walls look like. The blood must have been insane. 17 bullet holes in there. May 25th, 93, another wrestler dies.

A guy named DJ Peterson, XAWA guy, dies in a motorcycle accident at 33. A lot of car accidents, too, with these guys because they're always in cars. During this period, Jake goes through, and we won't go through it all, but he goes to Japan a lot here. He does a little bit of a minute in ECW. A lot in Japan. He fights Hercules and Mr. Hughes, who's a big black guy who wears sunglasses, in the ring, which is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Dirty white boy. Jushin Thunder Liger, which would the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Dirty white boy. Jushin Thunder Liger, which would be a very odd match versus Jake Roberts.

Sounds like an IPA. It does. It does. This is a good Thunder Liger right here. It's not bad. He was an athletic guy. It would have been actually probably an interesting match. Anyway, going on here, he's in Japan a whole bunch.

He goes to Mexico and does AAA down there. He fights Conan, who we might know from wcw later on it's a hair versus hair match and uh jake gets his hair taken i guess down there loses to conan then he goes and works for jim cornett we've talked about a lot for smoky mountain wrestling and jim cornett has some funny stories about trying to get jake to show up for shit really jake is a fucking mess at this point he And at this point, he's just flaking. Lots of drugs, lots of flaking. They'd be like, you know, like we said one time, Jake was supposed to come to a show

and didn't show up. And he said his wife was sick. And he's like, no. So Cornette's like, I guess nothing you can do about that, whatever. And then he didn't show up for the next show. And he's like, don't bother showing up for the next one after that because you can't advertise the guy if he's not going to show up. And he even fights.

He's the goddamn – he's the Smoky Mountain heavyweight champion here. Wow. And he's still not showing up for shit. So your champ has to show up generally. Listen, though. If you get fucked over on money, it kind of just demoralizes you and makes you not want to work. It's true.

I'm surprised that we show up every week being how fucked over we were. I do that out of pure anger. I'll show these motherfuckers. They'll pay me. I won't make a show. It's just when people don't fuck you. Not you, the motherfuckers. Not people of business motherfuckers.

It's not the people that listen. It's people that don't listen and they're supposed to pay you money for it. When that happens, you're just like, why am I doing this shit? Why would I even want to go? And so I understand what he's doing. Totally. And you bury yourself in drugs or whatever your escape is. And I understand what he's doing.

And he's on the downswing of his career. He's got kids, though. He was one of the biggest stars in the world two years ago. You've got to make money, though. In Mexico. It's crazy. November 23, 1994, a wrestler named Art Barr dies. Once again, nobody's sad about this because he's

had a fucking bunch of rape charges against him and he's a complete and utter piece of fucking shit. Unknown circumstances. He died from an aneurysm and he had a bunch of sleeping pills in his system. So, whatever. February 18th, 1995, Eddie Gilbert dies at

33 years old. Eddie Gilbert was a great mind a second generation guy had brothers in the business he was just went from ecw and he went down to puerto rico yeah and uh he was his body was discovered there he had a heart attack but uh he had a ton of cocaine everybody right around 30 lots of thing 33 is a big one that's like the 27 like rock stars it's 27 wrestlers it's 33 like that's as much as they can take. And Jesus, yeah. March 20th, 1995, Big John Stud

dies from cancer. Jesus. Everybody says from doing enormous amounts of HGH. He did so much HGH, he actually grew taller. Wow! No shit. He actually grew taller. How much does that take? Enough to kill you from cancer within 10 years. That's how much. Way too fucking much. Because I how much way too much 96 he comes

back to the wwf they take him back this time his whole gimmick is that he's a big bible guy and he's clean and he's telling everybody to get their lives together uh he has a new python it's an albino python and he names it revelations oh my god oh God. Oh, boy. And not only that, they give him that gimmick because in real life, he is preaching all over the country. He's on the religious channels on TV. Oh, Christ. Preaching, talking about all the dirty things I did and all the drugs and all the women and none of it amounted to a damn thing. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah.

That whole story of horse shit. He appears on Boy Meets World, the TV show that year. I remember that as jake the snake uh now at this time he there's the king of the ring 96 and this is where steve austin becomes a huge deal yeah stone cold yeah wrestling fans all know this but if you don't this guy kind of helped i mean austin would have made it anyway but the austin 316 right everybody a fucking t-shirt up that's from this that's. That's when he debuted it? Yes, because it was off the top of his head because Jake was walking out,

like kind of all injured. They were carrying him off. And when they do the King of the Ring, whoever wins, they do like a coronation and they do an interview with you. And Austin was there getting interviewed while Jake was being carried off. And he was like, there you go with your Bible and your John 316 and all that. Austin 316 says, I just whipped your ass. And that's where that came from.

And the next day, everyone had Austin 316 signs. It was because he was making fun of Jake and his stupid Bible horseshit. No offense if you're religious, but Jake's was complete stupid Bible horseshit. Your begotten son quote, he turned into Austin. That means I just whipped your ass. Exactly. Wow. son quote he turned into austin i that means i just whipped your ass exactly wow uh so now 97 they the uh company wwf wants him to stupid thing to say it is austin 316 says i just whipped your ass but this is so stupid and everybody loves that sold a half a billion dollars worth of

merchandise probably more than that goddamn right probably more than that spawn tattoos and there are fucking hats sold probably i'm even fucking around, probably 30 million t-shirts were sold. You're probably right. Of that Austin 360. I bet you're right. Just from that stupid shit. Wow. Amazing.

Austin's a great performer. Don't get me wrong. He's fucking, and he's entertaining as shit. His podcast is entertaining. He's entertaining. He's got his fucking movies. That's right, man. He's talented.

So they want him, the company wants him to stop wrestling and to be a backstage guy be a writer fucking just what he's good at what he should do but he doesn't do well at this though he's a mess he doesn't have a fucking car or jim cornett talking he'd have to pick him up every day so he's like fucking go an hour out of my goddamn way to pick up fucking jake roberts and take him all the way the goddamn thing he's fucking half asleep doesn't he'd have a license because he had all sorts of legal issues. He doesn't have a fucking license or anything like that. So he's being carted around and they're just like, what a fucking mess.

And he's doing tons of fucking drugs now at this time because he doesn't have the physical whatever. Now he just goes home at the end of the day. It's 8 o'clock and he's home and he's sitting home at night. What do I do? I guess cocaine. So that's that sort of thing here uh it doesn't do well his last match is in january of 97 uh he's fired in february of 97 from the creative team for being a drug addict and general fucking disaster personally uh right away pretty much his wife cheryl files for a

divorce no money no wife stack on, stack it on. October 29th, 97, Brian Pillman dies at 35. Pillman was a great wrestler. He used to be briefly played for the Cincinnati Bengals in the NFL. And just was a littler guy that just was balls out. Great promo. Another guy great on the microphone. That sort of thing.

They found him dead in a hotel room. Jesus. Unresponsive, and it was heart disease that he didn't know about. He had a heart attack. Also, he had cocaine in his system, too, obviously. And, yeah, so that's pretty interesting there. He dies. That was a sad one.

Everybody was pissed off about that and mad and angry. Just depressing. He was young, and he was really coming into his own, too. February 15, 1988,is piccoli dies uh he was a jobber named rad radford 98 98 okay uh he was rad radford in the wwf he's a stupid jobber but he went around everywhere he was 27 jesus he apparently had a bunch of overdoses all the time uh he was such a fucking it was coming he was such a drug addict that it was just it was just a fucking mess they found him dead in his home. Wrestlers have talked about him, and they would say he would just be doing handfuls of fucking pills.

Really? Just he was a disaster. They said he's just too much. Yeah, he had mixed somas and wine and had a drug overdose there. Two downers. And it's a heart attack due to an enlarged heart from that. So June 2nd, 1988, Junkyard Dog dies in a car accident.

That was then. That was age 45. He had just a mountain of cocaine in that guy. He is just a coke guy, Junkyard Dog from the start, known as a coke guy. There were stories of Junkyard Dog when they get to towns and the wrestlers would be hanging out and he'd just go take off.

And like, where are you going? He'd be like, the hood. That's what you tell him. The hood. Because he was going to get. Yeah, he's going to find what he needs to get. So they said he just disappeared till it was showtime. And then he'd pop up all fucking strung out.

He had that fucking chain with the padlock. He had the dog chain. He had the collar. Yeah, the collar with the chain on it there. July 1988, Jake is arrested for being behind in his child support because now he's got divorced, he doesn't have a job,

and now he's starting to get behind in the child support as we see with athletes constantly. Once they get released, then their child support's still there. February 23rd, 1999, a wrestler called The Renegade shoots himself at 33. He was basically an Ultimate Warrior clone. They made him in WCW to kind of pretend

like the Ultimate Warrior was coming when he wasn't. It was that sort of thing. They painted his face. He looked just like him. They showed a silhouette of him that looked like the Ultimate Warrior. Then he came out and everyone was like, who the fuck is that?

Who the fuck is that guy? He lasted a couple years, retired, got super depressed and shot himself here. Wow. April 1999, Jake is again arrested for being $21,000 behind on child support. Wow. Yeah, 21 grand behind again now, arrested again. So basically now it's whenever he encounters a cop, he's going to be arrested.

Jesus. So now he's in a bad cycle. This is terrible when these guys get into this. And I don't know, fucking go to court and get your child support adjusted or fucking pay your child support. Get it lowered or pay it. It's your choices. Pick one of those. You can't just not pay it and ignore it and then just hope nothing else happens.

April 20th, 1999, Rick Rude dies of a heart attack at age 40. That was 99? That was 99. Rick Rude, heart attack, listed as heart failure. He was trying to make a comeback. Yeah. He had a bunch of drugs there, but they don't know if the drugs killed Bernardo or if it was just his heart giving out, but he had a bunch of prescribed shit that he was taking

for painkillers and all that. And if he was working out to make a comeback in the ring, probably had some pain. May 23rd, 99, a month later, Owen Hart plummets to his death from the ceiling. Oh, that's right. Which was fucking horrible. That was depressing as shit. So horrible. Everyone loved Owen Hart.

Great guy. They put him on a thing to, you know, a zip line to come down from the ceiling. And the buckle clasp thing messed up and he fell into a ring post and died. Fucking horrific. In front of everybody. In front of everybody. And they kept going into the show. They didn't know he was dead at the time, but whatever. October

22nd, 1999. How did you not know that guy's dead? I know, right? It's fucking nuts. October 22nd, 99, Beyond the Mat comes out. This is a documentary that this is where the light is shed on Jake. Everyone knew he had a drug problem before. Everyone knew he had problems in the past.

He's been to rehab a fucking uncountable amount of times. All that sort of thing. But this is where everyone went, whoa, what the fuck happened to Jake the Snake? Because a few years before, three years before this, he was in the WWF. You know what I mean? Stone Cold was fighting him. And now he is going to independent shows in the middle of nowhere. He's looking

terrible yeah pale fat awful looking just bloated and shitty uh there's a a thing here where they talked to one promoter and uh they said they asked jake what his retainer would be they said they'd give him the retainer and then he called them right back and said oh by the way you better have crack for me also or i'm not showing up he needs fucking show. He needs crack. You have to get me crack for when I'm there or I'm not showing up for your fucking show. And they've advertised. It's a small indie thing. They have to get the guy crack. They have no other choice. They have 200 people coming that paid money to see

him and only him. Nobody else there. His rider is crack. So we're pretty good with ours. We're doing alright. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that.

Bing! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me.

Leave her alone. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin.

His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season.

It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. And now back to the show. During this, not only does he have a lot of problems, he meets up with his daughter Brandy, who he has not seen in years. And they do it on film. What?

Yeah, they do it on film. They talk to her first. She has a book that she has made about him this girl is this girl has fucking problems like is it a like a hope chest kind of book like she made like she sits in her room and she made this book about him and it's got like all every card and letter he ever sent but like cut up in pieces and put back together with weird shit and she has sylvia plath quotes all over it and shit. And tears are streaming down her face while she's showing it.

It's heartbreaking. You don't videotape this. No, it's fucking heartbreaking. I mean, if you're a documentarian, this is gold. This is great, yeah. A girl fucking crying about her dad. Tears streaming down her face. But it's heartbreaking as fuck.

And you're like, this poor fucking girl. And then they meet up. He goes over to her apartment. And they have a talk. And they're just not in fucking. It's really weird. And he gets super depressed after it. He says, quote, sometimes I realize the person I hate the most in this life is the person I'm looking at in the mirror.

That's a scary thought. But Diary of a Madman. Right. That's what he says. He just he hates himself. He says he told himself he wouldn't be a bad father and he's a terrible father and his daughter fucking hates him and all this and in the documentary they go from that they go to the next town he checks in his hotel room and then disappears and goes and smokes crack wow for like hours wow and then comes back and they interview him and he's great and no he is on fucking crack and he's sitting in the bed just talking and mumbling kind of just doing this and that and this and blah blah blah he's got all

sorts of theories and i just wanted to die so many fucking times and it's you're like dude turn this fucking camera off please you want them to turn the camera on you're like dude you got a guy it's three in the morning and he just was on an all-day crack binge after being depressed about his daughter and you're gonna fucking film everything he has to say about this it's depressing man it's fucking depressing uh but this. It's depressing, man. It's fucking depressing. But this is he's as low as you can get during this whole period. During that whole documentary.

Oh, dude, it's so sad. I can't imagine. It's so sad. He's such a fucking mess. He's just. And they show all the other wrestlers, too, that are at these indie shows. And they show Coco Beware still with his fucking parrot. And like, it's fucking sad, dude.

It's fucking sad. It's fucking sad it's just sad it's hysterical come on guys hold on to the glory days it's like that uncle that talks about fucking 5a football that's what it is and you're like oh man this is so sad but it's all they have at the time what are they else are they gonna do all these guys are just that's what they've done their whole lives and wrestlers then nowadays the wrestlers are way different yeah nowadays part of being a wrestler is you have to look a certain way. You have to have an athletic certain way. You have to do this.

And you have to be like a corporate button-up fucking standard good employee also. You have to be a guy who's like, yeah, I was very good. I was wrong. I can't wait. I show up 15 minutes early. These guys were characters. That's why it was so much better back then, because you didn't have to be a good corporate citizen to also be a fucking wrestler.

If you had a personality and you were kind of a whack, these guys were whack jobs. Jake Roberts, you don't just invent that. No. That's a guy who, that. That's a guy who was born from love, Jake. He was born out of love and he's still loved. But I mean, guys like that, you don't invent that. You don't invent some of these guys' personalities that also make them drug addicts and unreliable and shit like that. That's still loved. But I mean, guys like that, you don't invent that. You don't invent some of these guys' personalities

that also make them drug addicts and unreliable and shit like that. That's the problem. But it also makes them larger-than-life cartoon character personalities that are different, that you would see. They always say it's the airport test with a wrestler. Will people notice him walking through an airport? That's how you can tell if a guy's a main event wrestler. Really?

That's how they always say it. Give him the airport test. In an airport, the people will turn around and look at him. Hulk Hogan passes that test. Yeah, every time. Hulk Hogan walks over. Everyone turns and goes, who the fuck is that guy? Even if you don't know him, you're like, he must be somebody.

Macho man. Right. Who is that fucking guy? You know what I mean? But some of these guys now. Those louvered sunglasses. Yeah. These guys now, they look like everybody else.

They look like some tattoo artist. That's all they look like. They don't look like anything. They're not interesting at all. I like an interesting looking guy. Like I do. You don't have to be like a fucking have a six pack and all that. I just want you to look tough.

And look like, you know, make me suspend disbelief to think that you might be able to kick somebody's ass. Do that. Don't have a guy come out and make me go, I'd fight that guy. Don't do that. Flat chest and a belly. That guy's 5'10", a buck 80. I'd fight that fucking guy. Don't. that. Flat chest and a belly. That guy's 5'10", a buck 80. I'd fight that fucking guy. Don't.

No. That's stupid. And if he lost his belly, he'd be 140. Yeah. There's an incident here in October 99. There's a show. Old wrestlers promote this show called Heroes of Wrestling, and it's known as one of the worst fucking shows ever.

It's in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. It's fucking awful. Anyway, he's supposed to fight Jim Neidhart, Jim Neanville, at the end of this night. Another crackhead fucking mess. Jake gets so fucked up over the course of the night from drinking. So fucked up that he staggers around the ring. He does a bunch of things pretending the snake is his dick and stroking it and stuff like that. Oh, no.

Does all of that. Tries to lick the snake with his tongue. So basically they— It's the equivalent of a comic hump in the mic stand. Yeah, exactly. The promoter sends out King Kong, Bundy, and Yokozuna, who are supposed to be in another match, but they were like, go fix this. Just go out there and do something.

And he's so drunk that he couldn't stand up, and he just kind of fell down, and then Bundy pinned him because they were like, well, this. Just go out there and do something. And he's so drunk that he couldn't stand up and he just kind of fell down and then Bundy pinned him because they were like, I don't know what to do with him. Yeah, it was a mess. January 24, 2000, Bobby Duncombe Jr. dies of a drug overdose at 34. October 23, 2000, Yokozuna dies of pulmonary

edema, in layman's terms, being a 700 pound behemoth at age 34. Another 34. June 14, 2001, Jake backs his Lincoln Town car into a parked car and flees the scene. At least he got a car. He's got a car. We're proud of him now.

He ends up with a drunken driving charge out of that. Jesus Christ. Municipal court down there. What he did here is hit and run in a parking lot of an an amex dies inc uh i guess uh basically what he did he was in a parking lot next to a car driven by a woman here uh and he's his lincoln town car backed up and hit her car on the driver's side he then just drove away jesus so you can't do that uh basically he's they end up catching him after that. He's charged with

driving under the influence because he was fucking drunk and that's why he ran away. Charged him with leaving the scene of an accident. His blood alcohol level is.179, which is well over double the legal limit. That is not great. You can have a.10 in Ohio back then,

which is still pretty fucking high. Back then you could have that. Uh, but he was well over that. He was almost twice that for Christ's sake. Uh, yeah, he's released because their jail only has room for violent offenders. Look, you're not violent. You're a mess, but you're not violent enough. Uh, yeah, he says, uh, she said she pulled into the car to, to, to call a friend and was looking for her, uh, looking for a post-it note with the number when she,

when her car got hit. She's saying, she said, quote, it jumped me and I snapped up. He backed into me and took off like a bat out of hell towards Niles. How can I hit a car with my side? How can I hit a car with my side door for Christ's sakes? He said, and then he went, but he hit her, I guess. Yeah.

She called police on her cell phone, gave him the license plate number. There was also a woman with him. She said she has neck pain and numbness in her fingers after the accident, which from a bump on the side, she's probably kind of full of shit. Just saying. He says he wasn't drinking at all, but that doesn't matter. He says that he dropped off his business manager to do some shopping and that this lady ran into his car.

He said, she fucking hit me. They said, why'd you take off? He's like, I don't know why I took off, but she hit me. So I figured I was- I don't need to stop, I'm fine. Because I was drunk. I mean, because I didn't realize the thing with the guy. I didn't realize there was damage and I just had to go.

Yeah, definitely here. So June 16th, 2001, he shows up to court in a limo, which is funny. I guess he has a driver, which is good. He goes in there. He's got his female manager from England who's with him now. And we'll talk about her because he gets her in trouble too later. He signs a $500 personal recognizance bond, which is continued through so he can leave the place basically. The attorney said that he had no past DUI convictions or anything like that, that sort of thing.

So you should just let him go. Why not just let him go? What the hell? At this point, he also wanted his car back that they took from him. He's like, where's that town car? I bet the rental fees are going up and up and up here. Also on the limo. If they're the ones driving him everywhere,

can't you get thrown in jail on arrogance alone? I think you can do douchebaggery. I think nickery is a contemptible charge. Showing up for a fucking court in a fucking limo is just disgusting. It's a little disgusting. He sends to one year probation with drug and alcohol treatment and sentenced to give a $600 fine.

July 16th, 2001, Terry Gordy dies at age 40. He was a great wrestler, started at age 15. He's one of the Fabulous Freebirds. He's the big one in the Fabulous Freebirds. How old was he? 40. Jesus. He started wrestling at like 15.

He's a heavy drinker, did a lot of coke, tons of pain pills, steroids, all that sort of thing. In the early 90s, he had an overdose and was in a coma and had brain damage. Everybody said he wasn't the same after that. He couldn't function and process things here. What ended up happening here is they never find out exactly what happened. They just know that he had a blood clot that traveled to his heart. God damn it. He was very overweight and tons of drug abuse.

I'm sure that didn't help. Right. 2001, Jake says, fuck the States. They obviously don't like me here. They don't appreciate me. Move into England. Really? Move into fucking't help. Right. 2001, Jake says, fuck the States. They obviously don't like me here. They don't appreciate me. Moving to England. Really? Moving to fucking England here.

Okay. Starts wrestling over there. Yeah. Makes his debut for Ricky Knight's World Association of Wrestling. Yeah. Over there. October 7th, 2001, Chris Adams dies at age 46. Listen to episode 43, A Murderous Gentleman.

Yeah. And we go into that story fully. He dies in a very crazy, interesting way. In a struggle, a physical struggle with a gun. Someone's going to die, probably. Somebody's dead. Yeah. October 20, 2002, he becomes the NWA UK Hammerlock Heavyweight Champion in England by defeating

Vigilante Johnny Moss. Jesus. Uncle's dad's Dick Moss. It was nice enough to name him Johnny. Mace, better than Dick Blood still. So he's now in England and he's a champion, but he's fucking in his 50s. He's in his late 40s. He's in his late 40s, but he's a name.

In England, anybody who's a name comes over here immediately. He's a name from here going over there. He's somebody that people will buy tickets to see, even though he's fat and out of shape and doesn't do much anymore. May 16, 2002, Big Dick Dudley dies. Oh, boy. Another dick here. Big Dick. Big Dick Dudley, one of the Dudley boys from ECW.

It was lots of painkillers. He had kidney failure and died. Another guy, terrible drug problems. Speaking of drug problems, two days later may 18 2002 davy boy smith the british bulldog oh no uh yeah british bulldog so much drug use there's a story brett hart tells in his book about 92 summer slam where he basically disappeared for three months really on a crack binge awesome and then they were supposed to have a match after that amazing he's like i've been on a crack i've been smoking crack for two like he was just trying to get him to stop smoking crack for a day to have a fucking match with him and not, you know, be a mess.

But the match came off really well, actually. But, yeah, he was found. He had a major heart attack. He didn't have any substances in him at the time, though. They said this was a clean period for him. Really? But, yeah, you do that much shit, though. It doesn't matter.

It takes a toll. It takes a toll on your body. Really? But, yeah, you do that much shit, though. It doesn't matter. It takes a toll. It takes a toll on your body. November 2002, Roberts says he's starting his own promotion in the U.K. called Real Stars of Wrestling.

They ran three shows. Yeah. Each of them had Honky Tonk Man and Jake Roberts as the headliner, and then that was it. Whoops. So, yeah. February 10, 2003, Mr. Perfect, Kurt Hennig, dies. Oh, no. He was my favorite of all time, probably, wrestler. And, yeah, that sucked. I hated that. When was that? Yeah, 2003, Mr. Perfect Kurt Hennig dies. Oh, no. He was my favorite of all time, probably, wrestler. And, yeah, that sucked.

I hated that. When was that? Yeah, no, 2003. Wow. He dies 44 years old, discovered in his hotel room at 1 o'clock in the afternoon after they came to clean the room. Yeah. Yeah, he was 44 years old and didn't have any health problems, but he also did have accidental overdose of cocaine. Jesus.

And also there was pills in his system and everything like an american gladiator yeah he did he was just a fucking typical 80 yellow hair yeah yeah fuck he was yellow yeah that's not even yellow yeah he was so fucking good in the ring man god he was fun him and bockwinkle in 86 that i love that when i was a kid one of my favorite things ever september 25th 2003 pitbull number two who's an ECW guy in the Pitbull tag team, dies at 36 from an overdose. Jesus. He and his wife were selling OxyContin, and they were found with needle marks all over them. Wow.

They died in their house and then stayed there for a while. And let me give you a quote from an article about when they were found. Oh, God. The 21-month-old boy, apparently trying to feed himself, had left a trail of food from room to room with a spilled quart of milk, chicken nuggets, and bits of bread he had pulled from the refrigerator. A yellow toy truck sat on the living room floor. The 8-month-old was found in the crib. Oh, my God, a second kid. In the crib, yeah.

Two kids were there with their dead parents for multiple days. Yeah, neither kid was harmed, but still, that's horrible. October 19, 2003, road warrior Hawk dies from a heart attack. Jesus. Fucking heart attack, lots of drugs. He had an infamous, you can watch the WWF in the late 90s. They made storylines out of his drug problems because they were real. November 6, 2003, Crash Holly dies at 32.

Again, drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs. More drugs here. Asphyxiation, he choked on his own puke from being on muscle relaxants and alcohol together because that's the big one that the guys like to do to sleep is muscle relaxants and alcohol. Because if you take it just enough, it'll make you sleep really well. If you take a little bit too much, you'll die. It's kind of one of those. Just a touch.

Oh, now you're going to die. It's a careful balance. It's a very careful balance. February of 2004, Jake's snake is confiscated in England. Really? They confiscate a snake. It's seized by RSPCA inspectors at the home of a Valerie Burnham, who is his manager. At somebody's house, not at the airport.

At the house. That's his manager over there. The snake died in their custody. Oh, shit. Jake's explanation of this is they're real sensitive about animals in England. That's all it is. It's more than here. And I got all thinking the snake was abused.

That snake had a good life. And then they take and it dies in their care. What the hell is that all about? It's like, well, you – He's probably sick. A little malnourished here. Yeah, he's charged with unnecessary suffering to an animal here. Fucking crazy. There's a guy named – a snake dealer named Kevin Wicks.

He says that he owned the snake and he denied saying, he said that he didn't let this happen to the snake, so it's not my fault, even though they charge him too. They say that at the home, the snake, Damien, had been kept in a 12-foot tank in the garage, which doesn't seem like enough room. It's a huge snake. If it's a fucking 8-foot snake,

at minimum, it needs a lot more than that. He said the snake was found, the he said the snake was found they the police said the snake was found quote severely debilitated and significantly underweight uh during this whole thing they they it comes out that jake says that he had uh he has a phobia of snakes that's why he hasn't really gone near it he doesn't even like snakes no he never said he never liked snakes this was just he was like oh boy i gotta carry a snake now but it works and he knew it was a good idea.

Yeah. And he wanted to do the snake in Mid-South and Bill Watts told him it was too stupid. He said, can't probably fuck goddamn animals walking in the ring and then biggest star going. Let's see here. Also, they said the RSPCA worker estimated the snake probably wasn't fed for seven to eight months. Fucking insane.

Fucking insane. Fucking insane. Months. Months. You've got to feed those every week. Every month. Once a month or once every three weeks or something. They used to feed it at TVs when back in the day. Yeah, you've got to feed them a lot more than once every seven months.

That's for sure. Yeah. He appears in like a purple fucking shiny jumpsuit in court too. It's like, what are you wearing to court in England? They have wigs on and you're in a purple jumpsuit, you fucking lunatic. Jesus. I guess this is better than a snake. I guess so. March 6, 2004, Hercules

Hernandez, Hercules from the 80s, WWF dies at 47 of a heart attack. Another big drug and steroid guy. September 22, 2004, big boss man, Ray Traylor, dies at 41 of a heart attack. Same thing. Yeah, same deal. He 41 of a heart attack. Same thing. Yeah, same deal.

He had a massive heart attack. Also, he did some drugs back in the day. September 2004, right after this. This is a couple days after Ray Traylor, Big Boss Man, dies. Robert shows up for a show, and he is in, quote, in no fit state to compete. They told him not to go out there. He instead goes out anyway, takes a microphone, and has a long, rambling, drunken tribute to Big Boss Man. And basically the wrestlers were sent out to try to get him out of the ring,

and he was trying to fight them. Like, motherfucker, I will say what I want. It's like the drunk best man at the wedding talking about the bridesmaid's pussy. I'll tell dick jokes, I swear to God. She has a great pussy everybody. It's really good, trust me. It's delicious. Pointing at the mother-in-law. So Jake at this

point says, I've had enough England, I'm going fucking home, getting out of here. Leaves because on November 1st in England is his court case. November 1st 2004 is his court case. November 1st, 2004 is his court case. He's there. He's facing the formal charges now. He does not show up. He's tried an absentia, obviously, here.

They say that, quote, the facilities that were provided were inadequate for the full-time care of a snake. It had some features that were potentially dangerous. That sort of thing. They said a snake that size should have had a whole room and it should have been warmer in the room and the whole deal. She had a climate. Yeah, a tank is not enough for them.

So he's found guilty of all that over there, but it doesn't matter because he's not there. The woman, Burnham, was factually found not guilty, even though it was in her house. They said it wasn't. You're not the guy who carries the snake or the guy who owns the snake, so I don't know what your responsibility in this was. January 14th, 2005, a woman who Jake's girlfriend or whatever road girlfriend at the time is

stopped by the Commerce Police Department and has drugs in her possession. Then she tells Sheriff Charles Chapman that she told them her boyfriend, Jake the Snake, was at a motel over there. And he probably also has a bunch of drugs. Sure. You want to get in there, too. Go talk to that guy. Tells on him. Thanks a lot.

Undercover cop goes to the motel room and gets his consent to search the room. They end up finding a crack pipe with a bunch of crack residue in it. They don't find any drugs, but they find a crack pipe, and he's arrested and charged with possession of cocaine. So now he's sitting there charged with possession of cocaine. He's got a variety of charges now from child supports to this to that to snake abuse to fucking you name it now. Now he's got cocaine in there.

What a fucking mess he's sitting there. I'm sure they let him out. Yeah. You know, out on bail at least. It's just a charge of cocaine. He's out on bail. He has no car now, too, because that was his driver, the girl there, because he doesn't have a car most of the time. So he's just walking around.

Just walking around. And he doesn't like snakes, but he does like dogs. And he sees a guy with a dog, and he goes and pets it. It's Bobby Colorado. And he sees a guy with a dog, and he goes and pets it. It's Bobby Colorado. And he says. How is it you come to arrive here? Huh? The fuck is wrong with you?

Seriously, look at you. You're doing this fucking coke. You're going around. You're fucking with snakes. That's your problem right there, pal. See? That's the problem. No snakes.

Get a fucking dog. What is this snake bullshit? I'm telling you. You know what? No snake anymore. You too. You be Jake the Dog Roberts. How's that? Jake the Dog Roberts. That'll work. I could train you up not to smoke no more crack.

Train you up nice. Tell you what. Guaranteed. Not one of the dogs I train smoke crack. Not one of them smoke crack right now. I could do this. I have 100% success rate. Jake the Dog Roberts, you could do this, change your whole life. I could do the same for you.

I could do this. I got to go now, all right? I got to go. The dogs are pulling me away. And in a cloud, poof, in a cloud of marinara sauce and dog shit, he's gone. He's gone. Jake is very confused. Sit, Jake.

He's sit. But he has a new lease on life now. Now he's got a new gimmick. He's gone. He's gone. Jake is very confused. Sit, Jake. He's sit. But he has a new lease on life now. Now he's got a new gimmick. He's ready to go, man. Fights in Wrestle Reunion 1, January 25th, 95, with a bunch of old-timers. Greg the Hammer Valentine wins a battle royal. They only could get 17 men in the battle royal. Couldn't even make it to 20.

March 14th, 2005, makes an appearance on Monday Night Raw. Yeah. Confronting Randy Orton, telling him he should be careful about The Undertaker because he fought him in WrestleMania. And Orton gives him his finishing move, the RKO there, and they take him off and that's it. Jesus. But they re-sign Jake at that point to their Legends contract because right about then,

a DVD retrospective on his career, Jake Roberts' Pick Your Poison, is released. Okay. So that's why they do that. They bring these guys in. Pick Your Poison. Oh, Christ. And then they release products with them. April 28, 2005, Chris Candido dies at 33.

Who is he? He was a wrestler, ECW, down south, Smoky Mountain, that sort of thing. He was one on Monday Night Raw. He was one of the body donnas, the skip and zip. And they had Sonny as the manager. You know Sonny? The hot chick from the late 90s? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's his girlfriend. That's his girlfriend? In real life. Okay. She fucked everybody behind his back, but that's his girlfriend. And yeah. She was with, who's the biggest one that she was with? Shawn Michaels.

Shawn Michaels. There it is. So anyway, he actually had a blood clot that ended up giving him a lung infection. It was complications of surgery on that. But he also took a shitload of pain. He was always on everything, that guy, from everything everybody said. That's not going to help. No.

November 13, 2005, Eddie Guerrero dies at 38 years old. That was a bummer. From heart failure. That is fucking terrible, man. He was great. Yeah, he's, Jesus Christ, man. He was a lunatic, that guy. He was.

He was a great wrestler. He was fantastic, ripped and all that sort of shit. Fast. Yeah, he had a heart attack while he was brushing his teeth or something. Taking a shit. Sad, man. March 5th, 2006, the World Wrestling Legends show. He beats Kamala by DQ.

Must have been a 60-year-old man of 400 pounds by then. June 7th, 2006, Earthquake. The guy who smashed Damien dies at 42. He looked a lot older than 42. He looked 42 15 years before that, which is crazy. But, yeah, he had bladder cancer there. Before that, which is crazy. But yeah, he had bladder cancer there.

October 9th, 2006, Jake makes an appearance on TNA Impact, which I don't even know if that's still on TV anymore. February 17th, 2007, Mike Awesome kills himself at 42. Another wrestler, tons of concussion problems. I've seen matches where he, him and a guy named Masato Tanaka hit each other in the head full blast with chairs no less than 20 times each. Obviously, that guy's brain is fucking mush. It's insane. He kills himself. He had been arrested on charges of domestic abuse and everything else.

He's losing his mind, basically, at that point. June 15, 2007. This is a sad one because fuck was she this shit. Sensational Sherry. Sherry Martell dies at 49 from a drug overdose. pills pills oxycodone yeah excessive amount of oxycodone in her system uh june 25th 2007 is the chris benoit incident yep where chris benoit murders his whole family we'll have an episode about that one of these days july 18 2007 uh john crronus dies of heart failure at 38. These are a lot of dead people at under 40 and 40. Yeah, he fights.

October 12th, 2007, him and Jake and Abdullah the Butcher fight Pogo the Clown. Jesus. Which is fucking terrible. Depressing. I would say. That's depressing. He's fighting a clown. That's his reaching for nostalgia.

And they lose to the clown. Wow. Two on one and they lose. That's his reaching for nostalgia. And they lose to the clown. Two on one and they lose. August 13, 2007, Crush, who was Brian Adams and a whole bunch of other things, he dies from a drug overdose at 43. He's found unconscious in his bed, paramedics game, unable to revive him, all sorts of fucking muscle relaxers and sedatives and everything.

They said the cocktail of drugs suppressed his respiratory system. I love it. Just a fucking mess, man. It's so bad. He fights Scott Hall at a show in 2007. Jake does. Handsome fucking guy. No Scott Hall.

Yeah, he was a handsome guy back in the day. December 10th, 2007, WWE starts a policy of paying for all of its expenses for anyone who's ever worked there to go to drug rehab. Really? It's their wellness program. They sent a letter out to everyone that's ever worked there saying, if you have any kind of problems, let us know. We will pay for a facility. We'll do this.

If you know of anyone that needs our help, please guide us toward them. Just whatever. Yeah, he ends up going in a 14 week rehab program jesus that's hardcore that's yeah that's a rehab right there so he takes advantage of it that's good uh but doesn't last long because september 13 2008 he has a a problem here there's a a benefit show in ohio he is very fat, stumbling around, can't form words. He's drunk as shit. He's got a microphone, too, which is scary here, talking on a microphone.

Turns out beforehand, what led to this was he was found out, passed out backstage before he was supposed to go on. They woke him up, and they said he was really pissy and angry and said that he demanded an eight ball or he's not going on. Wow. So he wants an eight ball. So then what they end up doing, they can't get him an eight ball because it's like on the spot. So they end up finding about two dozen little airplane bottles of vodka around him.

He drank like two dozen, two dozen of those. He was completely shit faced. People were there like punching him and he just wasn't registering it at all he's just walking around like nothing happened uh the other guy just fucking like leaves in the end of the match so he's like i don't know what to do here uh and uh the guy ends up the guy he's fighting tells gets the microphone he says i've wrestled drug addicts but you're a real piece of shit. You gypped these people. Fuck you. Blah, blah, blah. After that, what Jake does in retaliation is he pulls his

pants down and waves his dick around to the crowd. Yes! Gypped you? Here's my cock. What do you think of that? Who's he thinking he is? Lars? Shakes his cock around at the club. Lars Ulrich? Yeah. It's fucking insane. Then he left there, went back, broke his hand, punching a wall, and then ran into the street crying.

There was an ambulance and the cops. We refused medical treatment, and he's not arrested, and this was all over TMZ. You gypped these people. Oh, don't worry. I'll give them their money's worth. This was on TMZ, by the way. Wow. The whole fucking video.

Unbelievable. Whole fucking video, man. The flashing of the dick and all that. Yeah. Was it flaccid? Or did he like. Oh, I don't know if they did a show or cock. I mean, it's blurred out.

But he's swinging it around. So, I mean, Jesus fucking Christ. Good for him to have that much meat to swing it. Yeah, that's good for him. How embarrassing is this whole fucking life? He's ruined everything. Wow. He's ruined everything.

Marriages. That fucking. I feel bad for that daughter of his. All these goddamn kids and fucking his sister and his brother his sister and his brother his life i think about his mother's got to feel horribly guilty even though none of this is her fault she was asleep in a room and got raped into this whole fucking scenario i feel bad for all these people jimmy all these people but not nearly as bad as i feel for there are no aurelian Smiths. So we're doing Jake Roberts.

Jake Roberts, licensed insurance agent and realtor in the greater Detroit area. Jake Roberts. He's advocating wellness for all. That's his job here in the greater Los Angeles area. His vision is to develop, manage and grow safe spaces within communities. Fuck that guy. What the fuck does that even mean? That is a load of horseshit.

That is a fucking life coach. That's who he is. Double talking bullshit. Yeah, Fuck that guy. What the fuck does that even mean? That is a load of horseshit. That is a fucking life coach. That's who he is. Double talking bullshit. Yeah, fuck that guy. Jake Roberts, project manager, heavy civil construction. How much kale must that motherfucker eat? A ton. So much.

Jesus. Smugly eats his shit kale. Gluten free motherfucker. This is in the greater New Orleans area. That Jake Roberts. Jake Roberts, an Australian lawyer at CNC Project Management in Melbourne. He says he's an Australian lawyer and experienced legal professional.

Alright then. And finally, Jake Roberts, motion picture, television talent agent, talent department. He works for the fucking Gersh agency. He's a fucking... He works for the Gersh agency. He's a fucking agent, this guy. It's a big deal. Yeah, this guy. Yeah. Don't call us either.

We're good. So anyway, March 13, 2009, Tess, who's a wrestler, dies at 33 again. Oxycodone overdose, typical here. December 4, 2009, Umaga dies at 36. Another wrestler. Tons of pharmaceuticals in his system. All sorts of shit. Hydrocodone.

Uh, it's acute toxicity is what he died from all sorts of shit. There's like four different things. I as a pan, all this different shit. Fucking nuts, man. Uh,

January 8th, 2010 Ludwig Borga commits suicide at 47. Really? He was crazy. He was crazier than a shithouse rat. That guy had nothing to do with wrestling. He ran for office in his home country as a fucking Nazi. As a Nazi.

Really? He was crazy. Absolutely crazy. April 2nd, 2010, Chris Canyon commits suicide at 40. Another guy, Chris Canyon. He took a shitload of antidepressants and killed himself there. Left a suicide note with an apology to his family. The whole deal.

Very depressed. Tough deal, that guy. He very depressed uh tough deal that guy he was gay too crannying and i think he had a hard he had a hard time with that too from an interview i saw like he was kind of weird about it that's brutal um and he had a hard time with it uh june 12 good news june 12 2010 grizzly smith dies fuck you you rapist monster cunt fuck. I hate that asshole. He outlived all those fucks, though. That's crazy. June 18, 2010, Trent Acid dies from an OD at 29. This is important because he was on a documentary, Card Subject to Change, where they show him going through all this shit, trying not to be a drug addict. And then he ends up at the end of the thing.

They're like, he died. They're like, oh, shit. That's rough. He died. Yeah, August 13, 2010, Lance kade dies from an od at 29 uh cocktail of drugs uh all sorts of different drugs uh august 27 2010 luna vachon dies of an od at 48 and uh she's famous wrestling family butcher and mad dog and everything there i think she's butcher's uh daughter judge january 9 2011 jake has a retirement match. May 20th. Retirement match. Retirement

match. Done now. This is the last one. The last one. What do you think? This is like the ACDC last one. Exactly. In 1983. May 20th, 2011, Macho Man Savage dies from heart disease at age 58. That was brutal. Also in 2011, Jake appears in a movie called Little Creeps with Joe Estevez, who is Martin Sheen's brother, who you've never heard of because he does B-movies, even though he also does all of the Martin Sheen voiceover. Really? Martin Sheen, like when he goes and does a movie and then later on they have to pick up all the ADR. They don't get Martin Sheen. They get Joe Estevez in because he sounds just like him.

No kidding. And also Dustin Diamond is in this movie. If Screech is in it, you know it's quality, folks. And you've got a problem, too, because that son of a bitch has taken anything right now because he got in trouble for, what was it, smacking somebody with his dick or something or stabbing someone? Well, he was something about a porn, I know. He tried to make a—I don't remember. He did a porn?

He tried to do stand-up, too. He tried to stab somebody, I think. Yeah, he was in some bar fight somewhere. He's a fucking lunatic. 2012, Jake is in worse to do stand-up, too. He tried to stab somebody, I think. Yeah, he was doing some bar fight. Yeah, somewhere. He's a fucking lunatic. 2012, Jake is in worse shape than Macho Man, who is dead already. We have an in their own words here. In their own words, quote, life was very rough. I was doing drugs every day.

I was doing cocaine and drinking at least 12 beers a day. I did cocaine to forget, and then I did the alcohol to come down from the high of cocaine. Wow. It was total misery. I was waiting to die and actually wanting to die. I was tired of living that way. I was so ashamed to be out in the public eye. I didn't go out during the day.

I only went out late at night, sometimes at 3 or 4 in the morning to go get food and stuff. I didn't want anybody to recognize me. That's how fucking bad he's gotten. But he looks so bad like this. Anyway. Nobody's going to recognize you, Jake. No, he's yet. He's still, he's still that's

sad so october 2012 filming starts on a basically a two-hour commercial for ddp yoga really known as the resurrection of jake roberts this documentary it is a it's a it's a two-hour fucking infomercial on ddp yoga that's terrible worked in a wrestling way to make it seem like it's a it's a redemption story of jake the. And it is an inspiring story. It's as inspiring as an infomercial is when you see a poor woman who had a miserable life and then she got herself in shape

and now she feels better and now her life is better and she can play with her kids and before she'd be out of breath just by that. It's that exact thing but for two fucking hours. Sorry, DDP Yoga. I'm sure it's great and thing but for two fucking hours um sorry ddp yoga i'm sure it's great and you really it seemed to help jake a lot if you're into that sort of thing you should try ddp yoga but don't watch this as a documentary even though there's interesting

things like about this there's some stuff i got out of the documentary for this about his life it's still mainly about ddp yoga if you want an inspiring dd yoga video, just find that one on Facebook that's like eight minutes long. It's about a dude that was crippled from too many jumps out of an airplane, and now he can fucking walk. Well, this, they show him going over there, DDP going to his house, and he says he's over 300 pounds, and Jake can't move around well. He's got concussion issues now, too.

He's starting to get CTE issues. He's got a bad hip. Over the next 18 months from this, he'll have two crowdfunded shoulder surgeries. Really? How about Vince McMahon fund that fucking shit? Yeah, how about that, you dickbag? Probably happened in a ring that you now make money for showing on your network. So maybe you should have paid for it, fucker.

Anyway, he's as silver-haired as they get. That fucking scumbag. He's a monster. Anyway, yeah, he is a monster. His whole fucking family. Oh, God. Yeah, it's true. I don't know about his whole family. I fucking hate his whole family. All right, good. Fuck him yeah, he is a monster. His whole fucking family. Oh, God. Yeah, it's true. I don't know about his whole family.

I fucking hate his whole family. All right, good. Fuck him. I'm good with that. Oh, man. So anyway, June 29th, 2013, Matt Bourne dies of an OPD. He's Doink the Clown, by the way. Remember Doink the Clown from the 90s?

I can Google it while you keep talking. He was Matt Bourne. He was Big Josh, I think, in WCW. Doink is like a – He's a clown. He played an evil clown. Yeah, but Doink is what you call your dick. That's not –

Yeah, well, Doink the Clown. He dies of an OD at 55 anyway. Yeah, Doink the Clown is a term for beaten off. Well, there you go. 2013, Jake's making football picks against some guy on CBSSports.com. Oh, my God. And, like, doing well. They're saying, Jake's got on a picks against some guy on CBSSports.com. Oh, my God. And, like, doing well. They're saying, Jake's got on a roll.

I saw one article. By the way, as we'll talk about when it comes out. Oh, I do know Doink. That's weird. Yeah, you've seen Doink. He was around for years, man. Yeah. He was around for years.

That guy's dead. He's dead. That's fucked up. 2014, January 6th, he makes an appearance on Old School Raw, laying a python over somebody. They did Dean Ambrose. They did that as a little whatever. Dean Ambrose is one that doesn't look scary at all. That guy looks like a pussy.

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know a lot of the new guys. I got to be honest with you. He looks like an absolute pussy. I just know they look very shiny and they all look like they're going to the club. He just looks like a normal dude.

Well, they don't look like they're going to a fight. They look like they're going to the club. They just looks like a normal dude. Well, they don't look like they're going to a fight. They look like they're going to the club. They're shiny with their hair done. What is this? Well, Dean Ambrose has just like long hair and like it's not long, long, but it's like long on top and comes over his face. And then he wears like a black wife beater.

Give me Greg the Hammer Valentine who looked like he'd actually beat you up. Give me that guy. I like that better. This guy just looks like he just got off third shift at like a fucking recycling plant. Yes, that's the truth, man. February 24, 2014, Jake is diagnosed with a tumor behind his knee.

Oh, shit. And has to undergo emergency surgery to remove the growth. He doesn't give a shit. He said, quote, if the devil can't defeat me, cancer doesn't stand a chance in hell. He said, pray for the sick kids out there. Don't pray for Jake the Snake. I'll be fine. He's going to beat this thing. And he does. He's fine with that. The cancer doesn't get him so far.

April 5th, 2014, he's inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Of course. Which he should have been earlier than that. April 8th, 2014, Ultimate Warrior dies of a heart attack. Here in Arizona. Yeah, and here. That was depressing. He had a heart attack in a fucking parking lot. Jesus Christ. It's the fucking worst thing ever. That's sad, man. Jake That was a depressing one. He had a heart attack in a fucking parking lot.

Jesus Christ. It's the fucking worst thing ever. That's sad, man. Jake is clean at this point with the DDP yoga and doing all these things. He says, quote, the reason on rehabs, the reason they didn't work was because I wasn't ready. I really hadn't found the problem. It was just my addictions. I went through a lot of my life that scarred me pretty good. I built a wall around myself to the point where no one knew what was really going on inside of me including myself

yeah he also says quote i'm going into bars and speaking in bars and watching people push their drink back because i'm hitting home with them stay the fuck away from these people's lives they had a hard day at work they want to fucking drink so they can go home and put up with their shit fucking life and you're gonna tell them you're gonna make them feel guilty for that they're pushing their drink. And you're going to tell them you're going to make them feel guilty for that? They're pushing their drink back because you're ruining their good time, you fuck. You're killing their buzz. Fuck me. He appears in a film called Heavy Water at this point.

He plays a character named Jed, which just looks like a shit indie film. Awful. June 14, 2014, he participates in a Christian wrestling organization match, Reborn Wrestling. So he's there. Yeah. August 28th, 2014. He is on a plane and he is sick. He had a flu diagnosis a couple weeks before and just kept traveling and didn't listen.

So he's had to be taken off a plane and to the hospital where he's diagnosed with double pneumonia. Wow. What? Double pneumonia. How do you with double pneumonia. Wow. What? Double pneumonia. How do you get double pneumonia? I don't know, man. It's like extra bad? Extra, extra pneumonia.

They had to induce him into a coma for 24 hours to work on him. Yeah. Finally, after a while, he's taken off a ventilator. Yeah. And the hospital's telling people about that. They said he woke up and wanted to eat and shit, and it was just kind of a mess. September 9, 2014, Sean O'Hare, another wrestler, found dead, hung himself from a bedpost at 43. Let's see, October 2014, he appears in a film Jake does called College Fright Night, which sounds exactly like it is.

The first part of the description is, quote, What's college without beer, babes, and vampires? Enough said. Right there. Vampires. Yeah. They don't exist, stupid. No.

December 6, 2014, Gigolo Jimmy Del Rey dies of a heart attack at 52. Wow. Let's see here. April 12, 2015, at the VPW Casino, Casino Royale 15 card, his brother Sam Houston wrestles and Jake refs the match. Wow. How about that? How weird. Sam's out of prison for five minutes and Jake refs his fucking match.

Wow. On purpose, like as a little like, hey, isn't that kind of cool? Which is kind of fucking cool, actually. I'd love to watch that, actually. That's cool, man. Yeah, that's kind of neat. April 25, 2015 is the last match that i can really find pws spring breakdown 2015 uh jake fights a bunch of other guys you've never heard of and uh mick foley is there it's just like

special enforcer or whatever comedian july and a comedian and we'll get to that too july 31st 2015 roddy piper dies from a heart attack at 61. That was a bummer. Oh, no. I was so sad about that. That was a tough one. October 2015. Especially because that means now he can't come back on It's Always Sunny. And that fucking bums me out. It was so great. It was great.

The maniac loves you. The maniac loves you. My favorite is, you have kids, and he goes, not anymore. Not anymore. And he just walks away. Okay? He was great in that, man. He was.

October 2015, Resurrection comes out. Documentary comes out. Some people praise it as this inspirational thing that it should be up for an Oscar. People are saying all this shit. DDP's like, fuck yeah. Let everybody know about it. LA Times, their headline is, quote, Resurrection of Jake the Snake amounts smacks of WWE-fueled self-promotion. What's more like it, I think.

Because when you watch a documentary, there is not one person on that documentary who is not on the WWE payroll. Wow. It's Dibiase. It's Goldust. It's Dustin Rhodes. It's fucking Austin.

It's all these guys that are on the payroll. Tons of DDP, too. He's everywhere. All DDP all the time. That fucking guy. Ah, whatever. They rip, they say even the, they say that Roberts is a compelling figure and his story is great, but the things they do around it is fucking.

Yeah, it's DDP saying, I'm going to fucking milk that guy's bullshit life as much as I can and turn him around. Yeah. I don't care what he does after this, after the cameras stop rolling. From what I understand, I can't say this because from what I understand, I've heard a lot of wrestlers talk about DDP. They all say he's literally the nicest man ever. I'm sure he is.

He's positive. He just wants to help people. DDP might be like, I want to help Jake. But at the same time, he's like, we can make a documentary that's going to make me a lot of money and will help Jake. I feel like it's one of those. If we can help Jake and help me at the same time, this will be great. Yeah, and help all of us.

So February 4th, 2016, Axl Rotten, ECW wrestler, dies from an OD at 44. Axl Rotten? Axl Rotten. Yeah, they play. He had like a, like back in the day, he had like an English rocker gimmick where he was like Axl Rotten. And him and his partner, Ian Rotten, broke up and beat each other with barbed wire baseball bats.

Badass. Badass. Matches for a whole summer. His arm looked like he had just complete mush on his arm. And it was scars from getting barbed wire stuck in his arm. Badass. Yeah, they fought crazy matches here. He's found dead in a McDonald's bathroom in Maryland. Oh, that's fucked up.

Heroin. That's not near as cool as those scars on his arm. Heroin overdose in a bathroom. That's not good. That's bad here. McDonald's bathroom. McDonald's bathroom. On a turnpike, no doubt.

I'm sure of it. April 12, 2016, Balls Mahoney dies at 44 from a heart attack. Balls? Balls. That was his name in the crowd would chant. Balls. Balls. Balls as he would hit people.

It's pretty fucking cool. Jesus. April 20, 2016, China. As we know, China dies from an OD at 46. That's brutal. Tons. That was an OD, huh? Yeah.

Alcohol and prescription medications. Fuck. A mix there. She had, whoa, she had, yeah. Her life was a mess, dude. She had oxycodone, oxymorphone, valium, nordesis spamam Temazepam and a bunch of other shit and alcohol

of course tons of shit August 2nd 2016 Jake appears in The Bet this movie also has Rowdy Rowdy Piper and DDP in it also wow

both of them are in it 2016 he makes a public call to Johnny Manziel to stop fucking around stop doing drugs shut the fuck up Jake shut up Johnny Manziel don't fuck up. Stop doing drugs. Shut the fuck up, Jake.

Shut up. Johnny Manziel, don't fuck up like I did. You've been alive for 60 years. You've been clean for three of them. Shut the fuck up. Just keep it to yourself. Stay out of the bars. Shut up with Johnny Manziel.

2016, he starts a comedy tour. Jake does. And he is currently touring the country. Get out of here now. Absolutely. And in their own words, quote, up until I started doing this, I've been having a lot of problems with speech, completing sentences. My brain just wasn't clicking right. I know I've taken way too many headshots. I probably

averaged three concussions a year, but I wrestled for 37 years. That's not a good number. No. I would say not. But he says when he's there doing the show, his brain gets it flowing and working and rapid fire again. He says now that all he does, he's doing the show, his brain gets it flowing and working and rapid fire again. He says now that all he does, he's doing the yoga, maintaining his sobriety.

He does smoke cigarettes. His only vices are he smokes cigarettes, so he says he tries to quit now and then. He takes the occasional pill to, quote, get my dick hard. Got to do that. And he's unabashedly pro-marijuana, which is good. He's thinking of opening up a dispensary after he's done with the tour. I hope he does. I hope he does, too.

He'd be perfect with it. Perfect with it. He says... I take dick pills, smoke cigarettes, and I smoke weed. That's it. That's perfect. That's not a bad life. That's a great old age.

He says about the whole thing here, quote, I can't deal with jake he's too much i've become more mellow and i'm not as quick to ignite as i used to be i don't hurt people uh i don't hurt people like i used to hurt people i'm happy outside the ring which is something i've never been i want more time with my grandchildren i want more for my kids i think i've got a lot to offer i feel like i'm worth something i'm not just an old phony wrestler. He's trying to be a human being. And as intelligent as he fucking is, I really root for him. Because he actually has something to offer. He's a smart guy.

And he's had a terrible fucking life, like a lot of our people have. And he didn't hurt anybody else. That's the other thing. He's not raping kids, for Christ's sake. Thank you. See, now that's the thing. We'll get a lot of people going, that guy had a shit life, and that guy had a shit life. And if you have a shit life and you don't hurt anyone, we feel bad for you.

The only person he's hurting is himself. We're still making fun of you, but we feel bad for you. It doesn't matter. I mean, he didn't pay for his kids, but that's like the most effect he's had on other people. That's what I mean. He hasn't like physically hurt them or raped anybody. He currently has four films in post-production or filming right now. An animated wrestling cartoon, a bad bee-looking movie, and a movie starring Dakota Johnson and Shia LaBeouf in Thomas Hayden Church.

And Bruce Dern. He's in that, too. Can't get enough of Jake the Snake Roberts? Fuck no, I can't. Watch the resurrection of Jake the Snake Roberts on Netflix. You can do that. Amazon.com. You can get the Jake the Snake Roberts WWF VHS tape from 1987.

Fucking sweet. $24.99 for that. You can get a 10-foot wide by 6.5-foot high fathead. I want that. Of Jake the Snake Roberts. But be careful. I must warn you. There is a warning that comes with this that is very serious.

If you have any cocaine in the house, it will come to life, cook it into crack, and smoke it in your living room. It will. It can't help it. I think I'm safe. Somebody get that for me. It's $89.99 for this fucking thing. Holy dog shit.

Don't get it for him. Don't do that. Spend that money on your gas or something else. ProWrestlingTees.com. He has his own shop with all the Jake t-shirts, which some of them are pretty cool. And finally, on Amazon, any Jake the Snake Roberts wrestling figure. Cool as fuck. Get an old LGN one with his hands up in a weird, terrible position that you can't make

a DDT with because his hands are up so he can hold his snake. That's why his hands are up, because the snake came with him. Or even the fucking newer ones, the reissue ones. Those are great, too. Get one. Doink the Clown looks cool as shit, too. That one is a great one. That's a cool, yeah, that would be a cool as fuck one.

It comes with a bucket. That is Jake the Snake Roberts. My Christ. That is Crime and Sports this week. And we're going to have our list of producers and all that. And right after something quick that I need to get off my fucking chest. Okay. Real quick, let me just say, we get it.

Ben Cousins is out. Yes, we know. We've gotten so many alerts. We haven't updated it. And we're sorry we haven't it. Ben Cousins is out. Yes, we know. We've gotten so many alerts. We haven't updated it, and we're sorry we haven't. But Ben Cousins is out, and an update will be down the pike. I'm sure of it. We'll figure it out. There'll be another episode on him, I'm sure.

Yeah, for sure. A whole new one. He's got meth up his ass. What do you think, that just goes away? I don't think so. All right, what I'd like to fucking talk about for one second here is self-important twat fuck podcasters. Okay. What we do here, we know we're not important.

Right. We know we're taking a story. I'm researching. I'm finding all the information I can. I'm putting it together and I'm putting it out. Right. There are people out here who think they are doing something special for the world by doing a fucking true crime podcast.

And you people can eat 12 fucking dicks because you're not a homicide detective. Most of you aren't even fucking journalists. You're not breaking any story. You're doing nothing. But they do. Some of these people say, see, we'll get messages. And you've gotten these before. We're incredibly sweet people who are looking for answers.

We'll message us and say, hey, can you do me a favor? My sister disappeared 15 years ago and she was killed and we could never find her. And this case is unsolved. Would you look into it? And we say, thank you for thinking of us. We're fucking comedians. We have no business looking into the disappearance of anybody. We have no resources, no connection.

I barely have the credit to look into the disappearance of my fucking car keys. I can't find shit. And you know why we wouldn't do it? Not because we don't want to, because we're not going to waste your time. We're not self-important tools. We'll say we're really sorry. We hope that works. I don't know.

Help the police, investigators. There are fucking people out there who think they're solving fucking crimes as podcasters. You stupid son of a bitches. You're solving shit. You're solving your own fucking ego. You think you're solving things. Are you a fucking homicide detective? You know how I could tell that you're not a homicide detective?

You know what homicide detectives don't do? Fucking ads for blue apron and mattresses and shit. That's what they don't fucking do. And it's nothing against the mattresses or blue apron. It's a fine mattress and a fine meal delivery kit service. Trust me, they're fucking great. But homicide detectives in the middle of investigating a fucking case don't stop and say, have you heard about the largest meal kit delivery service in the united states they don't fucking

say that you know why because they have real shit to do because they're dead fucking people who they're responsible for finding unlike you who are sitting in your fucking living room that you've made into a fucking studio saying how you're finding people. You're not finding shit. You self-important, bloated assholes. All of you. Fuck. If you're just telling a story and giving people entertainment, great.

Good for you. If you think, and if you're boring and you read from a script and everything, that's fine. Some people like that. I won't disparage you.

But if you're doing that and saying you're finding things and I've done an investigation, you know why cereal was good? You have a day job, sir. You're not investigating shit. You know why serial was good? You have a day job, sir. You're not investigating shit. You know why serial was good? Because Sarah Koenig, who's a very good journalist,

still at the end of it, she's a journalist. You know what she said? I don't fucking know what happened. You know why she didn't know? Because she didn't know because she's a fucking, she's not a homicide detective. She writes stories. She said the responsible fucking thing.

And then there's some people who took that and ran with it not a homicide detective. She writes stories. She said the responsible fucking thing. And then there's some people who took that and ran with it and were accusing wildly everyone around the fucking case. People who have a girl's ex-boyfriend, they're looking up LensCrafters records. What the fuck is wrong with you people? I get it that you want to solve it and you're curious, but you don't do it in a public forum and then act like you're important for doing it, you fucking assholes. Okay. That said, we're a comedy podcast.

We don't do that. That's what we do. I'm going to splice this into both shows because I want everyone to hear it because I hope it gets back to any self-importance. Because if you're sitting there going, is he talking about me? I am. Yes, I am. Absolutely. If you know I'm not, then I'm not.

But if you think maybe you're that self-important, you're a cunt. You're a cunt. Enjoy. Now, when you're done doing that, you can go on iTunes and give us five stars. Do that. Tell us you're following instructions, following directions. None of it doesn't matter. It's just not for our ego.

It's for the business end of things. Please, please, please donate on Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports. Anything helps. PayPal donations are great. One-time donations, we appreciate them. Use our email address, CrimeandSports at gmail.com. You can also get a hold of us using that email address. Or at Crime and Sports on Instagram, at Crime and Sports on Twitter, Facebook.com slash Crime and Sports.

That's the one. We're all over the fucking place, Jimmy. Everything Crime and Sports. We, Facebook.com slash Crime and Sports. That's the one. We're all over the fucking place, Jimmy. Everything Crime and Sports. We are all over the place. Out of this long, long list of people that I just want to hug and hug and hug, but then stop before it gets weird because they're going to think it's getting strange. Out of all these people that you have a spectacular list of, Jimmy, why don't you hit us with it now?

Well, first this week, our executive producers. Again, Christiane Cristaldi, Jess Landgren, and Sarah Gilbo. Thank you all so much for doing what you do. You're so fantastic to us. Yes, God damn it. Can't live without you guys. We really appreciate you. That's the truth.

Cham, Chame, or Cham, Chame? C-H-A-M-E. Okay. What kind of name? How do you pronounce that shit? Jesus. No. Don't even try.

It doesn't matter. I don't know. Because her husband's name is James Hires, so thank you both very, very much. Thanks, James. Cammy? Cammy. Cammy? Maybe. That's a name I've heard of? I don't fucking know. James and Cam very, very much. Cammy? Cammy. Cammy? Maybe.

That's a name I've heard of? I don't fucking know. James and Cammy, we hope. Johnny Bananas up in Minnesota, thank you. Dennis and Lucy Taylor, they're truckers running across this country together. Thank you both very much. And there's a profession that you can do with your wife and you won't want to fucking murder her. And if you do, you've got the opportunity and the ability because you're in another town tomorrow.

Dump her in a roadside thing. Blame it on a tricker. Don't make her mad, Dennis, because she'll do it. I'm sure of it. Jenny Weiner Frakes. No, Jen Weiner Frakes. That's it. Veronica Swift lost a family member this week.

I'm very sorry, Veronica. I hope you're doing well. And Mitch, Sandy Handjob. They upped their donation. Thank you, Sandy. Jennifer Brashears donated both ways with Patreon and PayPal. So thank you, Jenny. Jennifer.

Jenny? Jennifer? She goes by Jenny. All right. Or she hates Jenny. I'm not sure. Ryan Eliason. Katie Conlin also had a death in the family this week.

Thanks for spending your time with us, Katie. Taryn Lisa Taylor. Bree Trinoski. That's it. Mark Trudeau, Taylor Matthews, Chelsea Van Sickle, Holly Hamilton. Thank you, Holly. Claire Fry, Cody McHale, McCall. Cody McCall.

Jesus. Jesus. Tina Pol- Fuck. Jesus. Tina Pol-Peterson. Got it. Taylor-

Fuck. Oh, it's two words. Ray Foster. Taylor Ray it. Taylor, fuck. Oh, it's two words. Ray Foster. Taylor Ray Foster. Taylor Ray Foster. Right. I thought it was Ray Foster. Ray Don Sean.

Right. You get it. Seymour Johnson. I doubt that's a real name, right? Seymour Johnson? I would hope not. Let's hope not. I'm going to guess that's a joke.

Let's hope that's a dick loss. It might. It's possible. Yeah. I could see it. Robert Thompson. David Estevez. Mega Lawrence. Lurance? Lurance? Lurance. Yeah. I could see it. Robert Thompson, David Estevez, Mega Lawrence, Lou Rance, probably.

Lou Rance. Sylvia C., Denise Whitney, Stacey with no last name. She's going to be a big star. That's the one. Shandell Whitney, thank you so much. We also owe your family over. I think they were in South Korea. We owe them something.

Definitely. Find me, Shandell, on Twitter, and I'll take care of that. Woodrow Lemke, Timu Ilaranta. I'm fucking it up. I guarantee it. I'm sorry, Timu. Carly Carter, Michelle L. Pegram, Allie Bradley, Amy Starr, Connie and Sean Young up to their donation. Thank you both.

Jennifer Connerton, Naomi Belt, Brendan Moore, Tammy Collier, Ingrid Stock up to her donation. Thank you, Ingrid. I appreciate it. Thank you guys so much. And she's the one over in the Sands of North Korea box in Norway. Hey. That's the one. Nice.

Thank you, Ingrid. We get the Nors. You're right. Ross Smith, Sydney Summers, Hannah Turley. Thank you, Hannah. Kelly Walsh, Stephanie Purtle, Connor Miller, Amy L. Russell, Grace Blackman, Jesse Woodgate, Brittany McDonald, Nick Gastel, Nick Konezovich. Yeah.

Konezovich. That's what I'm talking about. I don't know if the K is silent. It's probably not. It's probably Konezovich, right? Yeah, it sounds cool. I don't know. I like Konezovich. Tyler James Johnson.

Eliana Catalina Agudela. That's right. Oh, that's a nice one. Eliana Catalina Agudela. I think that's right. John, no, Colin. How did I do John for Colin? John and a Colin? Yeah, those are very few even similar letters.

Maddie Johnson. That's why even similar letters. Maddie Johnson. That's why, because I saw Maddie Johnson below, and I was trying to get ahead of myself, and I fucked over Colin. Sorry, Colin. Sorry, Colin. Colin F. Spencer. Kat Oyala. Oh, yeah.

She had her appendix taken out, so I hope she's feeling okay. Stacey Heffaker. Mariah Men here. Jessica Skinner. Madeline Berry. Thank you, Madeline. Appreciate it. Madeline Berry Thank you Madeline, appreciate it Madeline Berry, that's the name Jessica, fucking no way

S-R-I-D-H-A-R There's no way I'm pronouncing that right Ever in the history of ever Jessica, I'm so sorry We love you Jessica Tina Peterson, Melissa Allen in LA, thank you Melissa Aaron, Buzz in Australia YouA. Thank you, Melissa. Aaron.

Buzz in Australia. Buzz B. He's fucking. Thanks, Buzz B. You're the best, Buzz. Thank you. I really appreciate it. Amanda Gibson.

Kathy. Jen E. No, no. Kathy and Jen don't have last names. Shauna. Fucking Braselton. Braselton. I think either way.

Probably. I think it's probably been pronounced both ways in their life. I'm sure she's had it ruined a million times. Selena with no last name. Christina Bretz. Greggie the Dude. I don't know. That's fascinating.

Heidi McRoberts. Laura Taylor. Adam with no last name. Brandi Dunkel. Jen Armstrong. Kay Roberts. Michael Patterson. Linda Seypert.

And Andrea Wardlow donated both ways also. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much, Andrea. Cora McBeth, Zombie Darlings. I don't know what that is. Elizabeth Tebow, Michelle Jolly over in Australia. Yeah, thanks, Michelle. Jennifer Portzer, Carolyn Jeffries, Stacy L. Lanktot.

Stacy Lanktot. I don't know. Lanktot? Is it Lanktot? I don't know. Paul Roost, who makes all those memes over on Facebook. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're fantastic.

They're all custom to us. They're incredible. That's awesome, man. Thank you. Thank you so much, Paul. Mariah. No, Maria. Maria Chachere.

Chachere. C-H-A-C-H-E-R-E. Chachere? I'm not sure. Chachere. That's great. That's the one. Chachere.

Chachere. It's got to be. I don't think that's what it is. No, it's probably not. It's never the one we decide on. I'm not sure. Shashir? That's great. That's the one. Shashir. It's got to be. I don't think that's what it is. No, it's probably not. It's never the one we decide on. I'm talking us into it. Kathleen Thill continues to be amazing, and she's a vet, so thank you so much, Kathleen. Thanks, Kathleen. Emily, no, Emmy Dumont-Guthier, Heath Mauger, Jennifer Hogan, Kat Power, Kapow Designs.

Thank you, Kat. Appreciate it. She got a new boyfriend. She's getting a D on the reg, and she's super happy about it. Good for you, Kat. She's thrilled. Good for you. And her boyfriend looks like Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish.

It's hysterical. That's pretty good. I can't get enough of it. Good for you. Ashley Fleming, Jamie Gloxon, Melanie Steinle. Yeah, Steinle. That's for sure. No, it's not.

Tyler Sheets, S. Williams, James Aselta, S. Williams. There's no... Oh, God. That's awesome. Holly Marie Dunningselta, S. Williams. There's no – That's awesome. Holly Marie Dunning over in Australia got a brutal diagnosis, and she listens all the time, and she sends me snaps pretty frequently. I'm pulling for you, Holly. I'm thinking about you, and I hope you're feeling better today. I hope today's a good day.

I hope so. Cole Hanick, Alex Hooper, and Steve Schnell over in Philly. Oh, yeah, Steve Schnell. Yeah, that guy's terrific. Every metal scientist. Yeah, that's the one. On Twitter. I hope your fucking eagles route some.

I hope today you learn some new shit. I hope today you're celebrating because this comes out after this bullshit game. Nicholas Mahmoud, Margaret Shock, Edward Staminski Jr., Autumn Allen, Jason Anderson, Kathleen Marquardt. Yes, I nailed it. How the fuck did I do that? Jennifer Scogland, Guy Ryu, or Rill-U? Rill-U. We're going to go with Ryu from Street Fighter 2.

That's what I just did, yeah. Nice. And then Fiona Bell. You guys fucking— Thanks, guys. So you guys come through every week, and we can't thank you enough. You guys keep it all moving, and you keep us going. And for real, from the start of the show to today, you guys are the ones that do this for us.

We can't do this without you, and we really appreciate you. So thank you. It's the truth, guys. God. At the end of the day, we'd just be sitting here and not wanting to do this anymore for you guys. So thank you guys so much. We'd end up claiming to be self-important douchebags that are solving shit. Yes, solving crimes.

Changing the world, James. Being crime fighters. We're not changing shit. No. We're trying to put on an entertaining show, and we hope we don't piss too many of you off in the process. That's pretty much it. So we're not good, but that's fine. We're not good, but we try, God damn it.

That's what I'm saying. We want to compete. We want to compete. We want to compete. Now, what if one of these fine people, like any of the ones you just discussed, or any of the ones who are listening right now, what if they wanted to get a hold of a gentleman like you? You can find me and correct my brutal pronunciation. At Wisman Sucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.

Follow along, play along. I really appreciate you guys being there. Thank you. And I am at Jimmy P is funny, or you can try and copy and paste my last name. Just do it that way. Don't spell it. If there's an I in there, it'll confuse you. It's all messed up.

Follow us. Like we said, we'll, I get back to everything I can. A little busy, but it doesn't matter. We appreciate it. We read everything and we love you guys for it. Love, love, love. God damn it. You guys for all of that.

And guys, hope you enjoyed this week. It was a long one and a wild one. It really was. And a wooly, crazy one. We'll see you guys in Detroit of that. And guys, hope you enjoyed this week. It was a long one and a wild one. It really was. And a wooly, crazy one. We'll see you guys in Detroit and Boston next week. Oh, yes. Detroit and Boston. Get there.

Boston. Detroit, you already have your tickets. Boston, 1 p.m. That's the one left. Left Boston there. Well, I don't know, guys. Besides, I think we've exhausted everything we could do this week. All the laughter we can get out of it.

It's done, I think. It's done. Live from the crime and studios we will see you next week bye hey prime members you can listen to crime and sports early and ad free on amazon music download the amazon music app today or you can listen early Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.