Crime in Sports - #132 - Skip To My Jail - The Cantankerousness of Rafer "Skip To My Lou" Alston

Episode Date: September 17, 2018

This week, we head to the playground to check out a guy that you just want to root for, until he messes up. Again, and again. He was a street ball legend that transitioned his on court game to the pros, but never transitioned his off court game. From some stupid mistakes, and questionable arrests, to some real violence, and scary actions. His fighting spirit served him much better, while playing, than at a strip club at two o'clock in the morning. It's a mess!! It's Rafer "Skip To My Lou" Alston!!Shoot dice as well as you shoot baskets, beat all the odds, and make sure to always be out in the middle of the night with Rafer "Skip To My Lou" Alston!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.comGo to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!Contact us on...twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Discover all the best in audiobooks, podcasts, and originals featuring authentic Canadian voices and celebrity talent, like Brendan Fraser and Luke Kirby's latest sci-fi adventure, The Downloaded. A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. on the Mr. Ballin Podcast, now available wherever you get your podcasts, you'll hear strange, dark, and mysterious stories about inexplicable encounters, shocking disappearances, true crime cases, and everything in between. So go listen to Mr. Ballin Podcast, Strange, Dark, and Mysterious Stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports. Yay! Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy, yay indeed.

My name is Jamesames petrogallo i'm here with my co-host i am jimmy westman thank you folks so much for joining us today on another crazy wild downhill death defying gravity i was heartbroken for a second you know i'm gonna say death defying i know it's your favor you think i'm not gonna say it that's if it's death defying. I know it's your favorite. You think I'm not going to say it? It's death defying, Jimmy. I like when it doesn't defy death. Yeah. Well, there's always

some amount of death defying, even if in the end they die. I'm still going to say death defying because they defy death at some point with their stupid behavior. For a time. With their dipshit time.

Yes, that's some time in their dipshit behavior. All right. We have a crazy episode, a nice, fun, wild one today with a guy that you want to root for. And he just keeps fucking up. And you're like, don't do it. Stop fucking up.

I just wanted good things for you. I just wanted good things for you. I thought you deserved it. And now you're acting like a douchebag. So that's fine, though. That said, thank you folks so much for your iTunes reviews this week. They really, really help us out a lot. So if you want to get on top of that, we would really appreciate it.

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Crime and sports approved. We like her. She's going to come hang out, and we're excited to meet her smoke clears dust settled and she's kicking some ass out there and we dig her a lot so that's going to be a lot of fun but uh without further ado we uh we have a crazy ass episode terrific as usual as we always do is there ever an episode where we're like well you know nothing really happened like i'll always find something funny it's going to be fun it It's par for this crazy ass course. And this one, speaking of crazy ass, this is an interesting story.

Because this is a guy who comes from a place where you really, it's like a movie. Like, he's the underdog, the ultimate underdog. And you want him to succeed. And then he does. And he fucks it up repeatedly. Is this just a loan? Yes. How did you know?

John Travolta? Yes, it actually is. Yes, he's being sued for fucks it up repeatedly. So that's just a loan? Yes. How'd you know? John Travolta? Yes, it actually is. Yes, he's being sued for harassment, I'm sure, by many a masseuse or some shit like that. Or a pilot or a flight attendant. No, no. A stewardess or whatever. This is a guy who gets sued by fellow strip club patrons. That's the type of guy we're talking about here.

Not guys who get sued by... Yeah, that's the sort of thing. He hit me with something at the strip club, and now I want $100,000. We already covered Anthony Mason. No, no, we have more. There's so much more. It seems to be a pattern almost. It's almost a pattern that athletes hang out at strip clubs and get into fights when they're drunk.

Isn't that weird? Strange, right? Like we've said a million times, if no matter what happens to you at a bar at 2 in the morning, it's at least 50 percent your fault. You're on the hook, too. You're beaten by seven people within an inch of your life for doing nothing. You shouldn't have been there. Sorry.

And it's not a matter of you were asking for it, but it's a matter of, you know what? Know what you're doing. It's like driving and you get an accident. By the way, nothing sexual counts in this. This is not a sexual thing at all. We're not saying that. Hey, you know what? If you're out past two and they rape you, I don't know what to tell you, lady.

That's not what we're saying. Why were you there, sugar? That's not what we're saying. This is strictly for men getting in fights in bars or women getting in fights in bars. We don't care. It's like driving with no license. When you get in a car accident, I don't care if it's their fault. You shouldn't have been there.

It's your fault. Yeah, you shouldn't have ever even been on the road, considering you have no fucking license. So let's talk about our guy this week. It is a Rafer Alston. Do you remember Rafer Alston? No. Rafer Jamel Alston.

You may know him better by his streetball name because he's one of the and one mixtape guys. And the most famous one of all really is skip to my Lou. Remember him? Don't you don't remember him from the late 90s? Just the most insane dribbling son of a bitch you've ever seen in your life. Yes. Streetball. New York streetball. Skip to my loo remember him don't you don't remember him from the late 90s just the most insane dribbling son of a bitch you've ever seen in your life yeah streetball new york streetball legend skip to my loo yeah he's not a white guy sounds like a white guy sounds like what's this motherfucker with an english accent doing on the playground and like he's killing people like oh

skip to my loo like a mother no no it's not like that at all this is uh no it's not like that but uh he there's a reason for his nickname. But he's a very famous streetball guy. Like, one of the more famous ones of, especially that era. He's the most famous one of the, you know, past the 70s and 80s when that was a really big deal. You know, the NBA got a lot of guys out of streetball in the New York City area. Are the guys in NBA Jam, are those real guys? In NBA Jam?

Yeah, not like the streetball team not like oh I don't think so because they had goofy the fuck they're gonna give them money for just make up stupid names but no this is afro on skinny dudes and if put a fat guy in there and one had a video game then they were real guys because and one had the they would release those you remember those basketball mixtapes that's he was like this He had his own one that was a huge deal that really helped to popularize them because it was just him killing people with the dribbles. Not just popularize what they were doing out there,

but popularize a clothing brand. A clothing brand along with music. You've got to say, though, for that time, they really did meld shit together to what in a package people wanted. They wanted that music, and they wanted to see crazy shit on a basketball court and uh you know in in basketball shorts that fit you perfectly in the waist oh and then the rest of them were fucking enormous absolutely enormous absolutely you could live in those things yeah well that was because honestly

the the pants you know there was little stitches inside you popped them, it turned into a sport coat also. That's why. They had to be bigger. It was very, very... You could unfold the shorts into pants. You could. That's the thing. They rolled right down. They come right out of the waist. No problem. You could roll them back up. You could make a coat. You could make a blanket. There was all sorts of shit. Multipurpose. They were snuggie

shorts. That's perfect. This is Rafer Jamel Alston. Rafer Alston. Born July 24, 1976. He's born in New York City. shorts that's perfect yeah so this is rayford jamelle alston rayford alston uh born july 24th 1976 uh he's born in new york city he's a he's a new york city kid he's from queens uh he's born you know kind of tough place uh and that too that that time period was a it's a rough time to grow up in new york city because there was a lot of shit going on especially when you're you know 76 so when he was 14 it was 1990 it was some crazy shit going on in that time period listen to any east coast rap from that period and just

that's what was happening also a great city doesn't become a just a great city it has to go through some growing pains well this was and that was for certain growing pains time this was crack if crack caused growing pains this was just a lot if you lived in a shitty area this it was rough because people were fighting over territories to sell their fucking crack as it was over especially by then it was over by the early 90s it was it was too much crack it was just too much crack it was they were fighting over territory that's what creates pride in the town too is crack no good crack sales a strong a strong crack business surviving a shit economy that no it's true and a rough time you don't you don't see people from from denver usually that are that

you don't see any people in fucking cheyenne wyoming losing their mind about everything's usually fine there's nothing right it's like it's about the same yeah it's always been like this in denver it's just like getting more expensive now. I don't know. You don't see anybody rocking a Carson City, Nevada tattoo. No, that's true. There's no pride in that. Because it's always just been the same. That was easy. I grew up there.

It's pretty nice. Pretty nice, actually. Nice. That's what people would say. You rarely see a Wichita, Kansas tattoo. It's not bad. Yeah. Wasn't bad at all.

Good school. I mean, you know. My neighbors were super nice table boy scouts were good water came out never once got molested so that was nice everything's coming up roses fucking perfect everything's coming up rafer and not raper alston please thank fuck there's no sexual assault in this no kidding because i'll tell you that right off the bat because that was my one thing i'm thinking. I'm like, did he do something sexual? Because there's no way he wasn't just called Raper Alston. He would be chanted.

People would have signs. He would be Raper Alston, even though he's not. The New York Post would have a field day with puns for that. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Everybody would have. It would have been crazy. ESPN would have figured it out.

I know. You know what we're going to call him. You get it. Even after the Disney acquisition, they still do it. Yeah. Luckily for him, he didn't do anything like that. Nothing. Not even accused of any sexual misdoings.

It's possible. Who knows? He's only goddamn 42 years old. Got a lot of life left, as we've known from Crime and Sports Subject. 42 is young. That's prime. Prime. Prime raping career.

Prime raping career. Well, usually by then, unless they've been raping, they're usually kind of done with the raping. But this is prime drug relapse type thing. He's prime for that. I mean, like, you know, otherwise, if you get like a Tom Payne who's been raping from an early age and then he just continues it, especially if he's been in prison, that was time off his rape schedule.

Should we take a quick update time to update that boxer that got arrested for beating the shit out of his wife again? Oh, God, yes. Jesus Christ. What the fuck is going on? You mean Jermaine Taylor? That's the one. Yeah, that guy.

Thank God you bailed me out there. Yeah, that was, you knew that was expected. I mean, he had a rough time. I didn't think that one was over. I think at the end of that one, we were like, this isn't over. It's prime for a relapse. Yeah, that wasn't a Maloon ending, where we were like, you know what, we kind of like her, and we hope it works out. This, we

were like, this is not going to end well. We're going to talk about him more. Oh, there you go. He beats up women, too. Well, there you are. So, speaking of idiots, here we are here. Not his fault, the way he grew up, obviously. He can't help that.

He grew up in a tough time, in a tough place. Apparently, his father was very much into crack, into smoking crack, not selling crack. It would be better if he was selling crack. I mean, he might end up going to prison, but at least he'd have money while he was there. Instead, he was smoking crack, which is never going to be good for anybody. It really has no advantages whatsoever unless you need the floor cleaned now yeah that would be the only thing and quickly or he punched a hole in the wall you need somebody to fix it he can do that man get him get him

right out of birth his dad's a crackhead not out of birth but when he's as he goes up as he becomes a kid uh uh he started when he was 11 years old he started taking the subway riding around looking for basketball games to play around the city 11 now 1987 in new york city was not a safe time for anybody at all for anybody to be riding the subway including street gangs that are armed like it was very unsafe back i remember as a child of when you'd go to the city back then it was fucking terrifying and i loved. I thought it was the greatest. I hate, I like, no, don't get me wrong. I love New York, but it's so not what it was.

I'm sorry. You need some danger. I don't feel afraid ever. I don't. I was walking around two o'clock in the morning fucking talking to rappers and smoking joys. I wasn't afraid at all. We were taking pictures and posting them on Instagram. Like, this is fucking ridiculous.

2018. I want to be frightened. Somebody mug me damn it is unsafe for 37 year old jimmy though that's just a homeless guy that you needed to ignore he wasn't somebody who was like arms they give me your fucking money like back then i didn't know well you know he would have led with that trust me that would have been he wouldn't have led with spitting scrambled eggs at me he would have led with i want your money that would have been number one wouldn't have led with spitting scrambled eggs at me. He would have led with I want your money. That would have been number one. Then he would have spit scrambled eggs at you after. And then thrown a chicken bone at me.

Probably. He might have seen that as a financial transaction, though. He took your money. You for a chicken bone. Then he could technically legally say I sold the man a chicken bone and some used eggs. Technically. Instead, the man has scrambled eggs and he's like a chicken's holocaust like he's chicken hitler he's a bad man going down all the chicken i wasn't a chicken so

i guess i shouldn't have been scared you shouldn't have been scared he was only interested i was being a chicken because i was scared see what i mean now you're just not scared but uh he would look for he would look for games uh alston said himself all right i'm sorry no it's fucking hilarious i love that i love the fucking homeless guy i'd never get i'll never get tired of telling you that you did the wrong thing i'll never get tired of taking that man's side believe me i, I felt it. I know. When the conductor. Everyone was like, this is your fault. We expect more from you. Are you a crazy person that spits eggs at people?

No. So then you need to be bigger man. When the conductor took his side, I knew that I had made a mistake. Well, now you know. Just ignore. No matter what happens, you ignore. Doesn't matter. I mean, he was yelling at a woman at the other end of the train.

That's her problem. And she ignored him. But I'm the the hero she knew better she knew better remember the bill burr joke about ow you're hurting my neck that's that's that i don't know you miss it yeah skip it i don't know anything i don't know that's going on down there i'm over here not my problem you're hurting my neck so anyway Rafer said god I almost called him Raper just out of like it's just easier to say Raper than Rafer for some reason it's easy the P is easier

than the F to pronounce my 7th grade math teacher was Mr. Raper Mr. Raper everybody called him Howdy I bet Howdy Raper that makes him sound jolly about it anyway like he's coming in with a little cowboy hat and a vest going hi y'all on his dick out just out of his front of his chaps i don't know how he didn't just when he decided that he wanted to be

a teacher be like maybe i should go to the courthouse first maybe i take my mom's name or it was my middle name yeah just i'll be go with the stage name thomas henry there you go that's my name now perfect it's very common in in show business people go by their first and middle works all the time for you especially if your last name is raper not good for how i can imagine an agent being hmm not so not so good right now that's so good right now that's that's a really hot button issue that's yeah has been for about 30 years yeah i would say so uh rafer says i quote i would do anything to stay in the playground stay on the court you know when you're growing up below the poverty line you can be caught up and frustrated about where your life is uh so he just as a small child he was

looking for some answers in basketball and he has freaky skills from a young age like he was playing with the adults when he was 11 and 12 the adult playground games which are tough tough tough fucking games and he was playing these games in school with people because he was that nasty uh he showed up at rucker park which is the world famous uh i think the most famous streetball court in the world you know it's it's just the most it's the it's the uh it's the most famous streetball court in the world. It's just the most. It's the mecca of streetball type of thing. It's where all people came from. It's the Madison Square Garden of streetball. Exactly. That's what it is.

And shut up, Boston. We get it. I know you're going to say, Boston, man, they got so many times. We get it. The Knicks haven't won since. I understand. Fuck you guys. But if you're in New York, you don't want to play in the fucking Celtics play.

You can talk about that. You don't want to play with the Knicks play. That's right. And you can talk about that, and we'll talk about the Yankees, and we can go back and forth all day. So shut up. Okay? It's fine. We're both good.

Okay? Everybody's good. Understand? Good. Moving on. He is one of those clumsy white folks. Congrats. Yeah.

This place was so cool that while they were famous famous like wilt chamberlain dr j guys like that came to play here because it was like you wanted to get your street cred that's how you got like you showed up there and then everybody's like oh shit even would show up at the playground it's a different type of thing uh it's uh uh it's really no the tons of what really well-known street guys played there you don't even you don't know this guy so you probably wouldn't know them i doubt so probably not. Neither would people listening. So it doesn't fucking matter unless they're from New York and over a certain age, they're not going to know. So anyway, he went to Rucker Park when he was 11, which is ridiculous.

His future head coach was there. His future silver-haired, middle-aged white man who will be a silver-haired, middleired middle age white man throughout uh here uh this is his coach in high school it's ron uh ness niclerio i think his name is ron niclerio uh he's his later high school coach he watched him play when he was 11 years old and he said quote the crowd realized and i realized that what we just saw was not normal for a kid who at this point was 11 going on 12 so they were just like what the fuck is going on he was that nasty uh at 14 uh is when he got his nickname he was playing at rucker park and they have an announcer and he does this little skip move when he brings the ball

up the court or he does this little skip and while he's doing it he's kind of in this suspended place where he can kind of do anything with the ball kind of lulls people in to try to steal it like he says and then he does crazy behind the back shit and he's insane he's like he's an n1 mixtape guy and he does that shit in games on the court does he play ground is he like the oop guy no oh he's mainly he can dunk but he's mainly uh he's a he wants to get around you and fucking flip that thing up for an oop and you fucking nail it and a big guy nail it he's he's nasty but he could take you to the rack in a heartbeat but uh yeah he was really nasty and uh he did all this shit and they said look at him he's skipping and then he called him skip to my loo and his nickname and uh yeah better than skip bayless better than skip

bayless that fucking douchebag you know i've been lucky people have been like can you talk more about skip bayless and what i've done with that is i've just not i've completely avoided skip balis because i used to be a glutton for punishment i would watch it and hate him and like take mental notes so i could be angry at him on the show and i'm like i can't i might you know what i do enough work this is this is beyond i'll research hours and hours i not sleep. But fucking listening to that loud mouth, frosty hair, dildo fucking yammer on about shit that he has no idea what he's talking about just to take the opposite opinion from the black guy across from him. He can go fuck himself and I'm fine without him.

He is so proud of himself, though. I hate him. Did you see? I know you saw it. People tweet shit at me all the time. I appreciate that. That's the only way I hear it. Did you see the shirtless he posted yesterday?

You know what, man? You're 60 fucking're 60 his hands his arms look like like gay porn it's too veiny cock shaft i've never seen i don't i don't vascular dicks hey you know what you know what man if you're over 60 years old unless you're hulk hogan keep your fucking shirt on if you're hulk hogan feel free to tear it off from your body and do whatever you got to do because that's what you're doing. Skip Bayless, I want a sport coat on you. Not even a shirt's enough for you. Collar it up, top button, put a tie on and put a jacket on. You fucking Botox frosty tool.

I'd like to see Skip in his natural state. skip in his natural state like i'd like to see skip if he went to prison for eight months like with his fucking with his perm and his fucking plugs grown out and his goddamn botox withered to nothing or whatever the fuck he does to his face the ramen diet by the way i don't know that's alleged i don't know this is all in my opinion i don't know what he does but i'm telling you what it looks like and he can go fuck himself with his asshole opinions this has nothing to do with his looks because i wouldn care a thing about his looks if he wasn't such a douchebag. But I've said a lot about his opinions, and so what the fuck?

Why not? And he's got a lump in the middle. It looks like he has a sternum hernia. Is that even possible? Oh, no. How the fuck? How do you get that lump? Transistor pod or something.

It's the grossest thing. It's Satan fucking communicating directly through through him that's his communicator can't wait till the alien comes out i hope it's on national tv jesus christ i hope so too i hope it eats him so uh so anyway he's he's by 17 he's like he's a legend i mean an absolute playground legend in the entire city like any kid on the street if you say skip to my loo they know who the fuck it is they know that's a that's a street ball you know the baddest motherfucker and street ball around so like that's kind of a cool thing for a kid in new york city that's like at 14 that's 14 through 17 but that was like you were cooler than you know almost cooler than the drug dealer or cooler than like anybody else.

Cause you were, that was like the next best thing to having money, but having fame and being able to do something. And plus then people were like, Oh, he might, he could play in the NBA. People were saying, but normally too, it's hard for the street ball guys to, it's hard. They don't get a lot of chances to make the transition. I won't say it's hard for them because I don't think they get enough chances to do it, but you know, they have the you know they're playing by the same rules as the nba yeah but it's just a different game it's a different game in terms of they're not really

running plays and shit like that it's more isolation defense is a little a little more it's offensive minded and this you know it's obviously not the same level of competition but the skill sets are the same and if you just they always think it's i guess it's the same thing with quarterbacks so you try to mold well he's just well if we mold him into here if you make michael vick just stay in the pocket it's fine it's like but that's not what he does though no he doesn't that's not what he does he kills dogs yeah he he has to leave the pocket to get to the dogs that's where they are so he can fucking kill them and do awful things to them and yes we'll do a michael vick episode don't worry about that. So Rafer here on the whole playground thing,

we'll do it in their own words. What do you say here? Why not do it in their own words? I think it's time. He says in their own words, quote, I think what made me good was that any place, any borough, I didn't mind going in there and doing what I had to do to win a game and also put on a show.

Then I developed a following. I guess everyone who was a Rafer Alston fan, I never let them down out there. When you play in the New York City playgrounds, you hear so much about this guy or that guy being so good. At a young age, I was that guy. It sounds cocky, but he's not bullshitting, actually. He's actually telling the truth. He really, really was.

At this point, when he's a young kid, though, his mother is his mother is studying to be a nurse. And she's at school a lot she works and goes to school and so she's not in the house a lot and his father is uh doing out in the streets he's doing crack so not a lot of home support here and he's got an older brother and a sister too and they all begin with the ra yeah which is which we'll talk about those in a minute. But it's his older brother's Ramar, R-A-M-A-R. And his younger sister is Racine, like the city, like the town of Racine. And Wisconsin. And then Wisconsin.

Is that Wisconsin? I believe it is, yeah. I think that's Wisconsin. I think you got that one right, Jimmy. Good for you. Thank you, a league of their own. Yeah, I was going to say. That's the only time I've ever heard of that fucking city.

That's where Kit got traded, right? Yeah, I think that's what happened there. Rockford Beaches and the race scene, nobody knows. I don't remember. Nobody has a fucking... Fuck, I do know. Do you? It's in the movie 700 Times.

Is it the honeybees or some shit? No, fuck, God damn it. They were yellow and brown. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I don't know. The mustard packers, I don't know what the hell they do up there. The fuck do they do? The brat toppings.

The race scene sauerkraut. The krauthammers. Perfect. All right. The kraut wallopers. It's the 40s. The kraut smashers. It's the kraut wallopers.

They're coming to your town. Barnstorming. The kraut wallopers versus the Rockford peaches. It's going to be wonderful. Tuesdays. Buy one, get one frankfurtus. Imagine. Imagine. Nine picturesque lesbians mouncing the field and playing a wonderful game of baseball.

I apologize. Sorry. It's hilarious. Why is it? I'm kidding. It's just that it's rare that a straight girl wants to play sports. No, no, she can play sports. It's rare that they're as good.

Right. That's the thing. That's what it is. This is not an insult. Right. This is like when Jimmy the Greek was like, black guys jump really high and they run faster and they were like, how dare you say that? And he's like, what the fuck did I say?

Now we're all like, yeah. He's right. Yeah, he's right. And that's pretty much, yeah, we get it. That's not an insult. It's fucking, you know, what it is. Jim DeGreek should be the CEO of ESPN right now. Talk to a cop and ask them how they feel.

Talk to a real macho cop. Because cops are way different. There's a bunch of different kinds of cops. But the real guys are like real macho type dudes who are like, yeah, I don't fucking chicks on the force. We don't like that. Ask them about lesbians. They'll be like, oh, they're great. great they're fucking great fucking have them on my team any

goddamn day of the week they're toughest people we have they're fucking awesome they work like straight women i don't want any fucking part of them i don't want them backing me up on the street but fucking you get me a lesbian out there boys you get my back any day i've heard people say that before and i'm like okay the only time they put straight women in a position of sports in a movie is when she's the underdog kicker. When she's Kathy Ireland. Imagine if Kathy Ireland got tackled, actually, what would happen to her? She would explode. She would probably explode.

Her vagina would head out the tunnel on its own. Imagine the sound she would make because her voice speaking normally was like a stepping on a stepping on a squirrel so if you actually hit her i think there would be this like this exploding like i don't even know noise that would just and then she'd be gone deflate out of the fucking football field like a like a big like a fucking balloon just be a lump of hair there like i don't know what happened and a bud light some makeup left behind and a cardboard cutout girl right or miller i don't know some kind of model for beer so anyway back to nursing school mom uh his dad was such a crackhead this is fucking sad this makes me goddamn angry his dad was such a crackhead that he stole rafer's michael jordan rookie card

and fucking sold it for crack for crack um not happy a crack dealer has a michael jordan rookie card and fucking sold it for crack for crack um not happy a crack dealer has a michael jordan rookie card or or a shop got bought it for cash or whatever the fuck you probably get more that way than if you did a straight crack trade i don't think you're gonna get much you think so i don't know i don't know if you trade it for you might be right yeah even if you get third value at a card shop you you're not going to get a third value in crack. And then if you break down what that crack's actually worth wholesale, you're really getting fucked. You're going to end up getting $10 for a Michael Jordan rookie card. You've got to think about the math here, Jimmy.

Jesus Christ, think about the stepping on it and everything else. Fair market value, all that shit. Fair market value, cocaine in 1990, the street value there. His father is Richard Alston. He says, quote quote some of what you heard is true mostly the substance abuse i had a falling out with rafer so his father rafer did not want his father around uh his friend said that his he his main complaint was he that his mother wouldn't make his kick his father out and make him stay out that was the main issue that he had

uh he just wanted his father fucking gone and he was an angry kid because of it which if your dad if your crackhead dad steals your michael jordan rookie card and sells it for crack you're fucking angry i have a friend who was parents had some crack issues and a bunch of his shit got stolen he had a bass that got bass guitar got stolen his vcr like this was in the 90s so there was vcrs it's like you gotta pack all your shit and no he would have to lock he locked he would have to lock his room up and they still would find a way to steal his shit like he's like i can't even fucking i remember he was so upset i remember i've never felt as bad for some 16 year old kid who wanted to go to work after school he had a job at night but he was worried about his possessions being being stolen

for crack at his own home so i always felt bad for him yeah yeah it was it was not great so uh he took it out on he would try to stay out of the house as much as possible and he was you know just try to lash out like kids do especially kids from kind of a tough and tough uh household uh he he liked dice uh he said he was a master at silo which was the game we all played in the 90s on the east coast did you play that out here you didn't play silo played just craps but it's like ghetto crap silo it's pretty much so it's like it's like shortcut craps i'm not gonna crash with one dice no no it's still the same but it's it's hard to explain but i'm not

gonna get into it now all right but it's uh that's all we did that i've seen so many kids play that shit for hours and there's tons of money and win tons of money and uh we played craps for like quarters at a time no these kids would play for like all the it was crazy took all day to make a dollar oh no these kids are kids i knew were playing for a shitload of money and on the street apparently he did too he said he made as much as 1500 one night off of it so i mean you could if you you really got a good run you could could clean up, make some cash. They played mix and match, too, where you take a dollar and you fold it.

Mix and match. So you take a dollar and you fold it long ways half, you know what I mean, so that it's like a V. Yeah, I see what you're saying. And then you hold it, and another guy holds his, and one guy gets to call mix or match. And then you let go of them, and they flutter to the ground. And if they're both on the same side, that's match but if they're if one's one way and the other's

the other that's mix are you fucking kidding me that's a game that's a game jesus christ that is pathetic that's how white people play that's the worst fucking game i've ever heard there's no drama to that there's no... It's over right now. At least dice, everyone's got it for a second. You're doing math. Then you double your money right now, though, because depending on who wins... It's basically war is what you're playing.

You're playing go fish with two cards. Yeah, that's pretty silly here. Rafer said, quote, I just had the knack for dice. To us, we were just having a good time no harm in it it's like a hobby he said now his older brother was running the streets though in a different kind of way rafer was playing ball and he was shooting dice and he's having a good time just fucking around in the streets whereas his brother was uh arrested a couple times for weapons charges where

he had loaded guns on him and uh yeah his brother was doing a different kind of his brother was running a different kind of game and i mean who knows what he was into i'm not going to speculate but uh rafer wasn't really into that he was more into basketball and he had like he had a level of respect from people because of the basketball no one's gonna fuck with skip to my loo like what are you gonna we can't see him play right you fuck that guy up we're gonna be pissed at you i enjoy watching him you know there's a talent involved with what he's doing whereas his brother i mean any any idiot can carry a gun yeah not not to mention these streetball games and these streetball teams are sponsored by drug dealers a lot of the times and uh you don't

want to fuck with their money if you've ever seen above the rim right picture that but way less shitty and real and you know but that happens or that happens. Or even The Wire, first season, that's how they find Avon the first time is he's at a goddamn, he's at the West Side versus East Side basketball game where he's coaching one team and Prop Joe is coaching the other. And there's a problem with the, nevermind.

You're not going to fucking watch it. They're feuding soldiers? Is that what that is? Prop Joe and who was the other guy? They're like the, and Avon Barksdale. They're like the East Side boss and the West Side boss. Real tough dude named after fucking makeup? Is that what it is? Yes, well they're like the an avon barkster they're like the the east side boss and the west side boss dude named after fucking makeup is that yes well that's his that's his first name but uh yeah i don't know he had people killed and shit i think that's pretty good i'm scared of him i mean maybe put makeup on him afterwards i'm not sure that would have been

some nice foundation on him it'd be like rouge maybe it's maybelline no it's avon bitch actually it's not maybelline. As a matter of fact. Prop Joe, what is that? What's that nickname about? Do they explain it? Proposition Joe, because he always would say, I got a proposition for you. People would have a thing, and he would always have another idea. I got a deal for you.

How about we settle it like this? That is gangster. He was a big, fat guy who didn't have to fight. He never roughed anybody up. Clearly. Everything was about, let me ask you a question about this. me make a deal with you it was all about that it is intimidating a big fat guy that you can probably beat the shit out of and he had a good he was from baltimore actually had a real good baltimore accent yeah he was a yeah he's a bad motherfucker but he just

looked like somebody's big fat uncle big fat happy uncle but uh he wasn't he'd fuck you up jolly joe have you fucked up yeah that's what it wasn't moving from his chair but he'd direct other people that that's the guy you'll feel pain on his behalf that's over there so uh his mother said uh his mother wanted to get him out of there actually uh his mother basically uh he's basically what they said was rafer became very hard to deal with his parents had a hard time with him. He was argumentative. He didn't want to do shit he was supposed to do.

He was having a hard time in school, in high school. His senior year, he only played like 10 games because he was ineligible to the other games because his schoolwork was so shitty. He didn't care about schoolwork. He wanted to play basketball. He was really good at basketball, and he was like, why am I studying this? I don't want to do that. If I go out on the street and play basketball, I'm a hero this i don't i don't want to do that if i go out on the street and play basketball i'm a hero and all that and or i can try to get a d in history andrew

jackson doesn't mean shit to a lot to an alley oop that's what i mean he's not helping shit so his mother wanted to send him to main central institute which is a i guess a high school or a prep school or something his sophomore year and she said that later on she regretted that she didn't do that but she let him stay because he wanted to but she said quote because of basketball rafer had his own unofficial fan club but he when he'd come home he'd he'd expect his celebrity status to continue if we asked him to take out the garbage it was like we asked isaiah thomas or michael jordan i love him but he was a spoiled brat so that explains it like take out the garbage but i had 26 points tonight and tenry what are you talking about Thomas or Michael Jordan. I love him, but he was a spoiled brat. So that explains it.

Like, take out the garbage. But I had 26 points tonight in 10 rebates. What are you talking about? Royal penis isn't even clean yet. It's not good. Someone needs to clean the royal penis, and then we'll discuss trash disposal. Then we'll discuss refuse removal. But until then, I'm sorry.

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Only on Freebie. Went to Cardozo High in Queens. But when he played there, he was obviously nasty as shit. High school kids aren't defending this guy with his moves. I mean, these adult playground guys couldn't fucking defend him when he was 11. So these people aren't. His coach said, quote, Rafer wanted everything so badly that he had temper tantrums. All great players like him have inner insanity and inner madness that they use to get them where they want to go.

And he said that they, you know, he had that. He does. He has a crazy drive. And when he wants to stick it to somebody on the court and win on the court, he's a tough guy to contend with. He's got a really strong will and he's tough, you know. But he preferred hanging out in the street than going to class, basically, which is understandable. I understand that. I could sympathize.

I went to high school, and eventually the high school I went to was a predominantly middle-class school where there was decent kids there. They weren't really, like, how do you say it? Not troubled. Poor people, right. But they weren't generally not troubled. Yeah, They weren't really like, how do you say it? Not troubled. They're poor people. Right. But they weren't generally not troubled. Yeah. I get what you're saying.

Kids that grew up with mom and dad in the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all their shit was paid for. I get what you're saying. Yeah. But Mike Bibby went to school there and he was, I mean. NBA player for years in case you don't know. Right.

If you go to school. His dad was too, right? Yeah. And oversees a lot of these guys. His godfather was Julius Irving. That idea, yeah. And his dad is Henry Bibby, who was never in his life. And that guy, if you've gone to school with somebody that's a pedigree of talent above everybody else, watching them play is ridiculous.

Oh, it's amazing. But then watching how they are fucking pampered. Oh, God, there's another level. This motherfucker would wander through the halls. Class is going on. He'd just pop his head in class and people like hey there he is isn't that great he's so funny he'd pop his head into every class and be like who's so old suckers in here yeah he talked like a fucking idiot yeah mike baby does he is he is actually too i'm actually the dumbest person on earth i've actually seen him in in person at a pickup game up here because he still was around it was up in

north phoenix and uh he was a fucking moron he really was because he didn't learn shit because during class he's just wandering around every fucking day because everybody would sell suckers or whatever like those big ones with the the big circle ones you know what i'm talking about the big lollipops that it took i don't know they were like a dollar in high school whatever and they were for like fundraise and he just pop his head into every class. Wander one. And the fucking security guard, hey, Mike, how are you? That's crazy. Hey, how are you?

They're like, you can take us to state again, Mike. Oh, you betcha. You betcha. That's it. That's all. Fucking dummy. You like this. My friend who sold weed and worked for FedEx schooled him on the court one time.

I think I brought that up once. That's amazing. Yeah. He used to play like pro leagues, pro in like some Mexican league and shit. That's awesome. He was a really amazing ball player., pro in some Mexican league and shit. That's awesome. He was a really amazing ball player, and I don't think Bibby was ready for him. I don't think he expected that. And he was like, what the fuck was that after a game?

I liked Kobe Bryant because he was the exact same age as Mike, and Mike and him were in the McDonald's game, and it was fucking fantastic to see Kobe get all this praise. And then he goes in the NBA with no college. And then Mike has to fucking stick it out in college because he wasn't near as good. No, no, no. He wasn't. Not the same kind of player. No.

Kobe's an athletic. Yeah. He's an athletic force. And a showman. Yeah. Well, I mean, just a guy who can jump and hang and do things like that. You can't teach that. So exciting.

Bibby wasn't that kind of guy. He's a fucking point guard and shooting guard. Right. You know. Shooting at best So exciting. Bibby wasn't that kind of guy. He's a fucking point guard and shooting guard. Shooting at best. Yeah, that's whatever. So when the mixtape comes out, that's when really he becomes like a street legend. This is a little bit later, but the mixtape, which is the Skip mixtape, which was his personal one, more than 200,000 copies were distributed nationwide. Wow. This was a big fucking deal. I've seen this when i was a kid like i remember as a teenager i saw that uh yeah people everybody

knew him like people he was like across the country anybody who was into like streetball shit but he was the guy you knew from streetball uh one guy who was a player in southern california said quote uh he's the guy that the guy that's the first tape that was the whole reason for streetball so he's kind of the godfather considered of these the modern streetball movement and the whole N1 mixtape thing he loved it obviously

because he was like a fucking star among that you know his own crew which was cool too his own people that he knew like in his neighborhood people watched that shit and thought he was a hero for it he says quote it was the time of my life we go to different places and they treat us like rock stars talking about the and one guys here uh so uh he he says that uh um later on he knew he was going to have to have another dynamic to his game other than the ball handling and the crazy passing because the nba that's the thing they don't want you to put on

a ball handling display for fucking eight seconds before the NBA, that's the thing. They don't want you to put on a ball handling display for fucking eight seconds before you pass it. That doesn't help anyone. There's a time clock, motherfucker. Yeah, there's a shot clock, and that doesn't help anything. That's just fucking your teammates' rhythm up. Now, there's a movement. Now, he's got to run around for eight seconds while you do that.

That's not helping anybody. Like, we're all moving together. Every time Skip to my Lou has the ball, there's a three-second call, because this motherfucker can't fucking either put the ball there's a three second uh call because this motherfucker can't yeah and fucking either put the ball up or pass it he's like no way is he gonna okay never mind i gotta be ready for it because he could be looking that way it'll shoot out from behind his back at any point so i don't know where the fuck it's coming from we have no idea he's

gonna dribble for a while and then shoot a random pass out and be ready for it behind the back and coming to one of us and it's gonna that's the thing too about the and one stuff was that the shooting percentage was so low oh yeah yeah because it wasn't about it wasn't about hitting jumpers no no one was like i'm open for a jumper sweet swish all right good it was like it was like the globetrotters basically it was their neck above the rim well you were people wanted it was like for the entertainment of the crowd that's what it was it was almost it wasn't just for the game of basketball it was for you want to win yeah but you want to do it in a way where everyone went oh shit did you see that one play and that was there should be a backflip involved somewhere yeah yeah he said though that he tried to be like a steady player also he said quote i was always breaking down film on players

going back in the gym and park going back in the gym and the park and working on things and every time they said i couldn't do this or I couldn't do that, I went and worked on those things. So that's kind of what he was all about. He played, like I said, he played a little bit in high school, but his coach said he was screwing up in school and it kind of really wasn't his thing. But he ends up in a junior college in California

called Ventura College in 1994. All the way across the country? all the way across the country all the way across the country uh that team ends up by the way this team is a it's a small it's a community college this place uh it's from uh it's from 19 it was established in 1925 has 13 000 students a couple of actual uh athletes from here actually went here uh brook jacoby who played for the indians, a baseball player in the 80s. A few other guys. Oh, Miguel Garcia, the fucking boxer. A bunch of guys.

A bunch of guys. How fucking racist was that? I am such a piece of shit. Well, either boxer would have been just as racist and that would have been right though so either way also a guy named Sun Ming Ming do you know who this guy is? I'm not guessing shit

he is a well he's a Swedish man he was born and raised in Pennsylvania no he's actually a Chinese professional basketball player and the tallest professional basketball player in the world. He's seven foot nine. Take that shit.

Yeah, he's bigger than fucking Yao Ming. He also went there. And the year they went there, he averaged 30 points a game when he went there. He was killing. It's a goddamn community college. They were they went to the state state championship for the community college. Six triple D level. I don't know what the fuck. It's not one. I don't know community college six triple d level i don't know what the fuck right it's not 1a i don't know what it is it's it's the reason we've never heard of him

that's what i mean i have no idea so uh well he ends up going to a big college later on but uh he goes there one season and uh uh problem is uh he has a little bit of an issue there and he ends up leaving we'll talk about what happens there does Rafer does. Rafer does, yeah. It's pretty funny. Eddie Lau is a guy who's his best friend when he's playing basketball later on, and he becomes his business manager. He said he first met Alston when they were 10 years old, and they were playing on a church basketball team in New York City. Now, he said that New York is big, but the basketball community was small, and he was a legend,

so for him to go clear across the country was like a crazy thing, for him to leave the place where everybody knew him, which is, that makes a lot of sense, you know? When his celebrity status to him makes so much, it means so much to him that he can't even go in his own fucking house without bringing it with him. Yeah, yeah, so now he's going to go across the go in his own fucking house. Yeah, yeah.

So now he's going to go across the country. But people have never heard of him. In that community college, he's going to be the greatest thing since fucking sliced bread, which I guess is interesting because they're going to go. He's averaging 30 points a game. Not that anybody watches community college basketball, but they might, you know, they might if they. Scouts will.

Scouts will. That's the thing here. But he said that he went there to get his grades up because he wanted to go to a real school, but you can't do that if you drop out of high school. Lau said, quote, the biggest thing about New York is that there's a lot of distractions. The best

thing he ever did was to leave New York and take his game to the West Coast, where it was also a different kind of game. It took it to a whole different level by maturing and getting away from all the distractions. It him which we always say that's why we say don't go home right so don't go home don't stay home it's usually bad when an athlete like grows up in a place and then goes to college there and is drafted by the local team it's usually doesn't work out well he's just too entrenched and he can get away with murder he went to school

probably with half the cops around like you can't do that that he's gonna do horrible things they're gonna find women's bodies in his basement the abilities that he has are just it's they grow exponentially when you're the actual local star yeah if you go elsewhere yeah you've got to grow it all over yeah yeah which may is good for you it's good for your you need the pressure i even don't even like when they when they go to high school in like fucking idaho then they come to arizona you know wherever and go to the college locally and then they go to the professional team there like yeah that was fucking weird i didn't like that at all yeah that was yeah tillman was i mean whatever it's fine he

be honest he wasn't it was great when he was playing it was awesome he was good yeah but it wasn't like i hate the fucking card it wasn't out of control great when he was playing. It was awesome. He was good. Yeah, yeah. But it wasn't like. I hate the fucking Cardinals. It wasn't out of control until he fucking died. His football career soared after he died. Well, yeah, yeah. Well, like anybody. Yeah. I don't think.

I mean, you become more popular in death, I think, as you become more known because then everyone knows you, not just the people who are fans of what you do. Exactly. They're like, who's that now? Oh, yeah. So that's what happens. The amount of jerseys he's sold since going to afghanistan is disgusting well people outside of arizona before he left for afghanistan not a lot of people knew who he was he wasn't like everyone in the league was like oh

shit he's the it wasn't like he wasn't john lynch or anything like that he was a good player who solid player yeah you know did a pretty fucking brave thing i guess they're insanely yeah and then bad shit happened to him which was not his fault in any way shape or form which sucks also and i'm not even blaming i'm not even blaming going to asu and then playing for the cardinals as the reason for that i'm just saying it it i don't like seeing it because it's going to be it's going to result in bad things yeah no matter what happens yeah that same going to the same place yeah pat tillman actually i i met him i was a bouncer at a bar yeah uh in 1999 i believe and he was that alice's one in there no no it was jackson's okay and uh there was a guy who was clearly on some sort of hallucinogen or something i would assume ecstasy just based on his eyes and the way he was dancing by himself with his arms out and his hair going

with no shoes on and just dancing and having a fucking grand old time, not bothering anybody, being a fucking hell of a fine person. But I was like, what's up with this fucking guy? And then everyone was like, that's Pat Tillman. I was like, he's tripping. I don't know what the fuck he's on, but he looks like he's having a good time. He was an interesting cat. Good for you, buddy. I thought he was great.

He didn't bother anybody. He didn't fuck. We didn't have to kick him out or anything. He did his thing. Everyone liked him he i think he had them there i just think he took them off for a moment to dance which hey good for you broken glass everywhere he didn't seem to give a shit he was cool motherfucker though just seemed like a hippie like a cool hippie dude yeah nobody nobody was like i'll get him out of here he's being a dick he was just a you know fine guy jake plumber trying to cop a feel on chicks they're sitting at the bar not at all not no no no did nothing again shenanigans no

shenanigans no untoward behavior of any kind he came he had a good time and he left and everyone said yeah what a fun guy that's it that was the extent of it you're gonna remember him forever now yes so uh ventura wins the state title and alston is kicked off the team later on before the next season uh according to according to a report in the los angeles times this was because he dropped this is amazing this is a first he dropped a weight like a to lift weights with dropped a weight on the groin of a sleeping teammate what that he had beef with earlier they got an on the groin of a sleeping teammate that he had beef with earlier.

They got in an argument and the guy fell asleep and he went over and dropped a fucking weight on his nutsack. Oh, Jesus. Which is a pretty dick move. Yeah. And you have to really fuck up a guy's... Yeah, I know. Sorry, I had to.

You have to really fuck up a guy's nutsack, though, to score 30 points a game and get kicked off the team. It's also kind of a balls move. That's something. It's a little balls. It's a little balls. It's a little dick. But yeah, you got a good point there. So it's awesome.

Why? Do they say how big it was? No. Not the dick. I mean the weight. It was more in the ball sack area. I don't know how big his balls were. But even if it's three pounds, it's too much.

It's too much. Drop six ounces on your ball sack. You're not going to be comfortable about it, I don't think. I don't want anybody to spit on my ball. That's what I mean. It's not comfortable. That seems like it'll hurt. It will.

1996, 1997, he goes to Fresno City College. He plays one season there. Rob Deere, the old baseball player who hit like 220 every year but would have like 40 home runs. He played for the Brewers for a long time. I think the Tigers. He went there, too. He went there. Tom Seaver went there, the Hall of Fame pitcher.

Ted Lilly, the pitcher who pitched for the Yankees and A's and fucking eight other teams. Lefty, pretty good pitcher. Tom Flores, the old Oakland Raiders coach. Remember the guy who looked like he was a casino pit boss that ran the Raiders in the early 80s? He had obviously dyed black hair and jewelry. He looked like he was a casino pit boss that was for some reason

lost on the sidelines. I'm just seeing Bolitnikov. And directing the... No, no, this coach. Look up Tom Flores, everybody. Do yourself a favor. He's a dapper, suave kind of guy. He literally looks like he'd take you out back. Have you taken out back like Prop Joe and smashed with a hammer for cheating

in a Vegas card game and somehow he got hold of a football team. It's pretty fucking amazing. So Tom Flores there in 97 98 though the he plays for them and that was 96 97 transfers in 97 98 to Fresno State.

This was a big deal because Jerry Tarkanian was there at that point after he'd been, you know, all the UNLV scandals and all that shit. He went there because basically, Tark here, Jerry Tarkanian, the coach, he's not one of these guys who's like, look, we get student athletes to graduate,

to have better people in society. So we they need to have good grades and do community service. He's like, I don't play fucking basketball. Stay eligible for basketball. We'll cheat for you. Whatever it takes. I'm the basketball coach. I'm not the life fucking teacher coach guy.

That's not what I do here. So if there's a kid fucking mentor yeah if there's a kid who has no academics and doesn't give a fuck about academics but wants to play basketball he's more than happy to have him uh these guys are guys who might have the talent too but they're not going to duke because they're just not going to do that much work they don't want to uh so that's kind of why they liked that's why he uh rafer wanted to go there when he was asked what it took uh for him to uh uh to for him to get go there he basically said coach really like you're the one who doesn't give a shit about my grades is what he told him like obviously that's why i'm coming

here you fucking i'm not stupid what was my what was your sales pitch to get me here that's why i'm here that's why i'm here you said fuck school that's why i'm here and he said quote when he got the job i knew it would be a good situation so i wanted to go there like yeah he won't care what i do uh basically uh that year he uh he he's a really good year actually uh not too shabby at all uh from the floor uh the team goes to the nit which is the important thing here they go to to the NIT, which is fantastic. But we'll talk about something else that happens before the NIT. Right now, Grace. Let's do Grace.

Really? In college? In college. At Fresno State. He just got to a major Division I school under a legendary coach. He's in the Basketball Hall of Fame now under a legendary coach from the playground with a crackhead dad and a mom who's so you know he could have been his brother yeah grace let's just say grace now because it's gonna fall apart slightly from here so post grace yeah grace

ends quickly we always people some people if you've joined us you know later if this is you if you've been just kind of listening the last whatever and you wonder why we do the grace thing they always say there's always a fall from grace with these stories that's always the thing there's a fall from grace well at some point there's a that's grace at some point you're at the top but that's that's you have to have a grace to fall from so we always say grace at the peak and this is the peak because there's a steep fall off from here right now and then it goes back up he's like a he's like a stock market in a volatile time. He's just like a zigzagging up and down here. He's like Bitcoin.

He really is. He's like Tesla stock. He keeps going on the Joe Rogan podcast. That's not going to age well. That's in two years. People are going to be like, what? Who? The what now?

Who the? Oh, that failed. Okay. So September 12th, 19. The guy that put a rocket ship on its ass? That guy? By the way, leave the fucking guy. There guy that put a rocket ship on its ass? That guy? By the way, leave the fucking guy. There's plenty of shit to rag on that douchebag for.

There is. Smoking weed on Joe Rogan's show isn't the fucking pill to die on with that guy. Sorry. It's fucking legal. No one talked a word about him having the whiskey sitting next to him. He can drink all he fucking wants and nobody goddamn cares. Good point. But he takes one hit off a joint and he's unstable and we need to take the company away from him the fuck out of here with that shit he took a puff off it and

you you can tell when somebody in him down with my fucking forearm and blow bong hits in his fucking face at this point because just just to be defiant to these cocksuckers be like i got you don't worry about it fucking eli i've hated you but now now I like you. Fuck that shit. I hate that. Anyway, September 12th, 1997, he has an issue. He is suspended from school for good reason. From the college. Well, from the college, yeah, for good reason, because he has a little bit of a problem. He's arrested for assaulting his ex-girlfriend. What?

This is a bad thing. The ex-girlfriend? His ex-girlfriend. It's over. On and off. I mean, as much as college kids are over, you get together and, you know, it goes. When you're learning relationships, they go on and off. But at the time, this is his ex-girlfriend.

Before you realize that this shit doesn't create a healthy marriage later. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. But especially anybody assaulting anyone really doesn't create a healthy environment at all. And that's what happens here is he assaults his ex-girlfriend. And the problem that the school has with it, in addition to him being arrested for assaulting a woman, which I'm sure doesn't look great. Fresno State at this point, by the way, they have several right around this time they have two teammates who held a gun on another student and robbed him held a gun to their head uh another lots of drug problems another kid who came in it was like uh transferred in after uh after about like a jail sentence they have this is like a team of just they're looking for the most talented right this is like the 70s raiders they're like what we don't care if you have to we have to get you on furlough. Tark said it.

We don't care if we have to get you. You're not here for school. You're here for basketball. Furlough from Folsom will take you. It's fine. You're here to play, and that's okay with us. You're telling me you just got out of San Juan and grab a ball. Wonderful.

Bring it on. You're number 12. Let's go. Strap that jersey on, pal. Bring it on. You're number 12. Let's go. So he strapped that jersey on, pal.

So this also the problem they really have is because this happens outside the school's weight room. Oh, no. So talk about shitting where you eat. Yeah. Taking that's a huge shit to take to fucking be arrested for assaulting a woman is a horrible fucking thing to be arrested for. You're an idiot. But to do it where you are your main thing.

That's the worst thing that that'd be like at work if you took your wife to work and hit her like that's the one and two and there's so many things wrong with that it's not even i don't even know where to start this is second incident at a weight room yeah he's got a problem keep this fucking guy apparently he gets into the weights and just some something is unleashed in him. The second he touches iron, I don't know what it is. Is he going to punch somebody or throw it at a ball bag? Yeah, no shit. And the team is such a mess and such disarray because of all of these other charges.

It's like half the guys have a current legal issue on a team at once. You can't really do that. In 1997, three days after the problem he has where he's arrested for assaulting his girlfriend uh the faculty rest they have they draft a resolution titled quote have we no shame it calls for fresno state to write a new student athlete code of conduct oh my god have we no shame is what it's called like seriously that's wow that's funny as fuck we got guys with guns we got guys punching women we've got everything and it's all boiled down to tark and on top of that we're making them play for free right and uh yeah so there's that so we're all pretending like that's okay and then they get money from people and we pretend they don't let's just all pretend it's all

why are we going to have any no we don't have any shame is the answer to that. Have we no shame? Absolutely not. No. Answer, no. So December 14th, 1997, he's driving on Highway 99 to Los Angeles. And don't worry, this is actually not an arrest story. This isn't he was driving erratically and had a blood alcohol level of fucking 0.37 or something.

This isn't that, but, uh, he falls asleep at the wheel. He's driving at night. He's tired. He's tired. He falls,

which is understandable. He's been in the weight room. He's been in jail. He's been punching women. He's got a lot of a woman. He's got a lot of things going on. It really, it really does.

Uh, uh, he ends up rolling his car over, which is crazy. He only gets cuts and scrapes, though, from it. So he's a lucky son of a bitch. Seatbelts. Yeah, seatbelts.

And I don't know if he had a good, I'm sure a booster lent him a nice car maybe or something like that. I'm sure he had the very modern airbag technology and whatever name, 97 safety features. Something with a high crash test rating. Yeah, I need something with a roll cage. You got anything with a roll cage? I'm looking for that, please. So he's got problems here, obviously. Now, right around this time after the car accident, he has another little problem at his apartment around there.

There's a couple of neighbors who apparently are complaining repeatedly that his music is too loud, that Rafer's music is too loud. Now, there's several ways to handle that, obviously, for both parties. Number one, you ask politely if you can turn the music down, and the other person has a choice. They can turn it down, or they can tell you to go fuck yourself, or they can say, sure, I'll turn it down, and then you leave and they don't turn it down. There's a lot of options here.

The other people can keep asking. They can call the police and have them do it. There's a lot of options here. You can turn it up. Yeah. Everybody picked the worst options, though, because they repeatedly kept asking him, and he got mad enough to assault two people over it. Oh, my God.

So he says, I'm tired of you fucking people bitching and complaining about my goddamn music. Let's get to punching. He is vicious. And he starts going after these fucking people. He's just not... And I get where he's coming from too though because where he's from you don't people say that shit you but he's not there anymore that's the thing i get i get the mentality because that was the mentality everybody had back there at that time because you had to have that fucking

mentality but this is fresno you're at fresno state your coach will get you out of that you have a the silverest of silver-haired middle-aged white men in Jerry Tarkanian. Tarkanian will do anything for you. Jesus Christ. He's got attorneys on a Rolodex probably. Here you go, kid. There's one for you. They call him Prop Jerry from what I understand.

That's a proposition for you. What do you got? Rape charge? No? Oh, that's great. It's not rape? Fuck, this is easy then. What is it, assault?

Jesus, take that. No problem. Good God, we'll get that swept right under the rug. I'm going to handle those fucking neighbors of yours, too. Ra too rape gets messy when we'd have to smear the girl you know how it go you know the campaign we put on we have to smear her and we get the shawarma man is what we had that that's where the shawarma man came from he was a rape victim smearer remember that that's what it was dave meggett rape victim he said they found a landlord from like eight years before the rape happened to say she says you money, then she don't give to us.

And that was his exact fucking quote. That's why I said that must be his accent. Therefore, the shawarma man was fucking amazing. The rape victim has a landlord that tells the media that she doesn't pay. That she didn't pay her rent. It was like five years before. I don't care if she get right. She said she was.

He said she lied. She has say she had no money. Then she gets she say she had money. Then she'll give to us. And I'm just like, what? That's your that's your take. Why would a journalist print that? That's like that is fucking amazing.

That's a great point. Why would you look for that? Would they go? Because there's this needs to be in the media in New York is so insatiable that they need any quote on something. So they found anything. That guy's met the girl, the famous guy that we all want to hear about raped. Or the fucking journalist is as unprofessional as I am and is like, that shit was hysterical and it's going in the article.

It's going in the article. Did you really? Did he really? Okay. It's on my tape. I recorded it. He said she no give to us. She said she have money then no give to us. Okay. I understand. Sign say closed? Okay.

Well, interview's over, I guess. He said sign say closed, so I'm going to leave now. Thank you for your time, sir. I would like all right, lamb to go, please. Yes, I know. You make for me. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. Thank you. Extra crispy. I understand. No, I have no cocaine. I'm sorry. thank you i understand no i have no cocaine i'm sorry schwannerman i have problem so anyway uh so uh he's arrested for this also so the team's kind

of like okay um you know this is twice now yeah uh this is getting to be a problem you're punching everybody and then you're rolling your car over worrying us about that that's during the season in december that's like you can't be fucking rolling your car over when we're playing fucking Long Beach State tomorrow night. We need you to be here, pal. I guess that's who Fresno State plays, I would imagine. Other middling fucking less than desirable places to live. College, state colleges. We need you when Irvine Tech is in town.

Yeah, that's a big one. That's homecoming. Thatvine tech yeah that's a that's a big one that's homecoming that's homecoming jimmy that's the big one so uh march 1998 they go to the nit tournament which is the loser bracket if you if you follow don't follow college basketball you know about the tournament because you've seen the brackets in your office and even the secretary who has no idea about basketball and the dude who's like, I don't like sports that they both fill out a bracket even give you $10 for some reason. They both pick Duke because that was the name of their childhood dog.

Yeah. Yeah. And so I've heard fucking assholes and they win and they win that way. Yeah. It's what it always is because it's whether you know anything or not, you have the same chances. So anyway, they go the the that's the tour ncaa tournament the nit tournament is all the teams less than that there's the top 64 teams

well this is the next 64 teams so this is not great and don't worry that's not even half of all the teams no and there's so many more fucking teams that are like oh man if only if only we could be in the top 128 teams we could make it to one of these fucking tournaments. Our college basketball is like Europe's soccer. That's what it is. So many. There are so many fucking teams. Levels and teams and all this type of shit.

So they go there. There's a problem, though, because Alston was supposed to appear in court during an NIT game in Hawaii, and he doesn't show up. He doesn't go to court? He doesn't show up. He doesn't go to court? Doesn't show up. His lawyer whose name is. And I did not make this up. Mike Idiart.

Which sounds very close to idiot if you say it so many times fast. Told the judge that he couldn't make it to court. Because he's in Hawaii Thursday night. Sorry. He's got. So they said okay. Well now there's a bench warrant for you. You fucking moron.

You Idiart. Yeah. You Idiart. Because I have shit to do. Isn't a good enough excuse to miss court. OK, well, now there's a bench warrant for you. You fucking moron. You idiot. Yeah, you idiot. Because I have shit to do. Isn't a good enough excuse to miss court. You kind of have to set that shit up ahead of time. It's called being court. It's called.

Sorry, coach. Got court today. That's a tough one. Sorry. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay.

I am here for you. I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from Smartless Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'd learn that that's the sciency term for eardrum.

We embark on a hyperlink roller coaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. And now back to the show. Now there's a warrant for failing to complete the 40 hours of ordered community service by December 16th. He didn't complete that probably because he was rolling over his car two days before that. Now, a special assistant to the basketball team named Roscoe Poindexter.

I wish I could make that up. What the fuck is going on? Roscoe Poindexter. There i could make that up going on roscoe poindexter players in this story in every story the fighters the players that never ceases to have insane names an idiot a raper and an idiot a raper and roscoe poindexter who sounds like a redneck nerd sounds like a hillbilly nerd uh he's a special assistant to the basketball team. He said that Alston had finished the community service requirement, quote, a long time ago. So he's like, this is horseshit. Coach Tark signed the 40 hours, 10 minutes after it was handed down.

His friend. So April 30th, 1998. This is after the season, which doesn't matter anymore. He's suspended from the team at this point. For legal problems. Well, for legal, ongoing, because he fails to complete domestic violence anger management classes and is arrested for that and has to spend a couple days in jail. And he has problems there.

So the team's like, okay, that's enough. You're suspended now that there's no basketball for another six fucking months. Now you're suspended. Because that's why you're here. That's mighty big You're suspended now that there's no basketball for another six fucking months. Now you're suspended. Because that's why you're here. That's mighty big of them. Yeah. Seriously. No playing basketball while there's no games.

I'm not kidding. Don't do that. I mean, go on your own. Do whatever you want, which you were going to do anyway. But no organized games, even though we're not having any. Put on those big shorts and go back to New York. Enjoy. Don't do that.

Go run around there. So May 9th, 1998, he says, that's enough for me. He decides that he's done with Fresno State. He leaves college. This is his third year in college, his first year in a major college, and declares for the NBA draft. What? Through his high school coach, his silver-haired middle-aged white man,

announces it for him. He's going to the NBA draft. This is such a bad idea. Well, I mean, you never know. We'll see how it goes here. But you would think that he's not, he doesn't seem quite ready yet. Or if you're a team, you're going, wow, what's he been arrested three times in the last fucking eight months? He's rolled his car over.

I don't know about this. He's already acting like a star. So I don't know if we can have this. Good point. This is not, I mean, I like the confidence the kid has. He clearly thinks he's going to be a top-notch player in this league if he's going to act like that. So I don't know if we can have this this is not i mean i like the confidence the kid has he clearly thinks he's going to be a top-notch player in this league if he's going to act like that so i don't know you have to if you're a great player you can act like this sadly enough but even if

you're not even a great player olden polly's figured it out how to behave like this too he was tall so he was really tall if you're six two you gotta really be good to beat up women and play you know they're like oh you gotta be dunking on iverson yeah really be good to beat up women and play. They're like, ooh, you've got to be dunking on people. He didn't beat up any women. No, I know, but I'm saying talent-wise. Talent-wise. He got a bum rap, Allen Iverson. He's a fucking amazing player. He got a bum rap. And not only did he

get a bum rap, he got stuck with shit teams. He got in a fight in a bowling alley with 20 other kids, and they blamed him. He's the one. He beat up everyone. That's like the old eddie murphy joke when there was a riot in a nightclub and everybody sued him like he whooped every eddie murphy kicked my ass yeah he punched me so hard i did this guy's six foot five 400 pounds eddie murphy beat me so bad and he's like i'm five nine way 150 pounds i ain't whooping

shit unless it's in the script i'm not beating your you. You know, that's the Eddie Murphy joke. Like, yeah, I don't know. Fucking silly. So anyway, he's going to go to the NBA draft. The 1998 NBA draft is the Michael Oluwakandi draft. Oh, boy. Yeah, he goes number one overall. One of the biggest draft busts of all time. So the Clippers, this is when the Clippers.

God, the Clippers just hemorrhaging top draft picks left and right, just throwing them in the garbage. Second overall was Mike Bibby. That's right. And Rafe LaFrance. The Grizzlies? Nuggets. He played for the Grizzlies later on. Bibby went to the Grizzlies, right?

Yeah, he went to the Grizzlies there. Antoine Jamison, who was so good at North Carolina. I loved him in North Carolina. He was so nasty. God, Jesus. He was a good player. Is he still playing, or he played until last year? We've talked about him.

We had this conversation, I think, two months ago. I think he was playing good player. Is he still playing? He probably is. We've talked about him. We had this conversation, I think, two months ago. I think he was playing last year. We've talked about this draft a lot. This is Vince Carter and Jason Williams. Not that Jason Williams. The white one. The white one. Dirk Nowitzki, Paul Pierce, all these guys.

How about that, by the way? All those people picked before Nowitzki. They had no idea how great of a shooter he was at the same time as being as tall as he is. Europeans back then were still looked at sideways. If you look at the whole first round, you have Olwakandi, who's from Nigeria, but he's a center, and he played for whatever. He played college in the U.S. Those pan out quite frequently, those centers from, from third world countries. Yeah.

We probably look at a lot of one. Yeah. They just, and a new bowl. They pan out. Europeans were considered soft back then. So you had to be a Dirk's of tall, special kind of skills for a tall guy.

You had to be that guy first. It's a big stiff fucking guy. He was 46 years old trying to run around. Yeah. Oh God. That's a soft ass. So many of them. Soft. God damn it. some big stiff fucking guy who's 46 years old trying to run around long way yeah oh god soft ass so many of them soft god damn it even that fucker that played for the Clark was in this draft that's right that's why we talked about this draft a lot yeah absolutely the other fucker from the Bulls that uh not Arvidas the other one uh Arvidas played for them too right I think he

did he's a laser mainly yeah yeah you're right you're right the other one that played for the Bulls uh Tony Kukoc Kukoc yeah other European yeah he was pretty good. He was a blazer, mainly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. You're right. The other one that played for the Bulls, Tony Kukoc. Kukoc, yeah. Other European. Yeah. He was pretty good, though. He was a good player for what he was. He was decent, man. He was smooth.

Was he a power forward? Because they had a horse. He was a small forward, left-handed. He could shoot mid-range. He wasn't bad. I hate him. He wasn't great, but he was no Scotty Pippen, but he was pretty good. But finally, round two, pick number 39.

The Milwaukee Bucks decide, let's take a chance on the Rafer. They drafted him. They drafted him. Second round. Now, second round in the NBA is no guarantee of shit, though. First round, it's guaranteed money, and you're probably going to make the team. Second round, they'll probably cut you. They might cut you.

Who knows? But he just made the NBA. But he just got drafted in the NBA, and he's going to get some kind of signing bonus. He's going to make money for playing basketball, not in college. Actually, on the books money that he's allowed to say that he made here, which is good for him. Not bad at all. He says, quote, the plan was always to make it to this point. A person takes different paths.

This was mine. It started on the playgrounds and with me being able to hold my own as a young kid against grown-ups i had to really prove and show that i belonged in the division one circuit that i belong in the nba and can play with the best of them okay so that's what you want a kid to say yeah you want a kid to say i there's challenges and i know i need to up my game and i'm up for the fucking challenge and that's what you want out of a kid so he's saying all positive shit and mostly he says positive shit that's the thing it's like you just want him to follow up you're like that was a great statement and then it's like why did

you just slap that guy what's going on why are you at the strip club at four in the morning fucking doing the things you're doing punching your ex-girlfriend again yeah so uh it's at this point though right after he gets drafted and says all, and this is going to be the best thing in the world, it is said that he again failed to complete his anger management classes and now faces a possible jail term. So the Bucks are obviously they want this shit to be resolved sooner rather than later. I would fucking imagine he ends up surrendering and goes in jail for a few days in fresno his bail was set at three thousand dollars uh he was uh he issued an apology to the court through his agent of course he said that's what i want to do by the way if we get in trouble for anything either one of us we

have an agent we are going to uh we're going to call oran and make him tell everybody something for us pull Pull some strings. Not even pull strings. I mean, pull his puppet strings. We're just going to go, listen, here's what we need to say. That way we don't have to say it to people. It'll be like Robert Kardashian reading O.J.'s suicide letter. That's got to go through someone else.

That's what we need to do. Sorry, Orrin, if you listen to this show. I'm not sure. But anyway, he he said, quote, I am willing to do whatever it takes to put this behind me and rectify my mistakes through the proper channels. He said channels and rectify in the same sentence, which makes me think of of he's thinking about ass fucking in some way, shape or form. That's too much. Too much. Rectify your channel. I'm going to rectify that channel, baby.

That's I don't like that. I feel like that's a wink and a nod statement. But the agent said, fuck it, let's let it fly. I like flying by the seat of my pants. I'm a modern kind of agent. That's a lot of ass puns. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. So in the neighbor assault case, that's what the community service thing was for.

The case against him there ends up being dismissed after he shows a judge proof that 40 hours of community service had been completed so that's he ended up doing that so the case that case gets dismissed but he's still going on this because he pled guilty to the misdemeanor assault against his girlfriend and then

he's yeah they had to take agoramanagement classes and it's a violation if you don't and they put you in jail and it's a circle when you don't. And they put you in jail. And it's a circle. This is what happens when you don't finish the fucking penalty. That's the thing. Just pay your fucking penalty. Do it up.

Finish it the fuck off, man. So he plays in Milwaukee in 99 and 2000. He gets into the league. He said that he had to put his streetball persona away for the NBA. He couldn't be skipped to my loo anymore. Nobody wanted that shit. The coaches didn't want that shit. Other players didn't want that shit.

He said, quote, Milwaukee doesn't need that shit. No, Milwaukee needs that shit. Let's just say that. Milwaukee needs some flashy razzle dazzle because they're freezing and drunk and bored. Do they have Vin Baker at this time? I believe so, yeah.

I mean, this was just a bleak team. It doesn't matter. They make the playoffs for like an eight seed, and then they're fucking bounced early. Yeah, and then they'd be out. Glenn Robinson would be shooting 18 three-pointers from the corner. Why is he shooting those? But then they score 83 points because that's all they've got. Yeah, that's it.

So he goes there, and like we said, you can't just dribble around for a half hour in the NBA. He said, quote, Rafer does, quote, They don't like someone going between your legs throwing behind the back passes but you know i was a kid who watched pistol pete maravich and they loved him doing it so i don't understand how they can love him doing it and it was a-okay when pistol pete maravich had a lot of his playground stuff in the game but when a kid like myself comes from nyc it's all bad he's got a fucking point there but the thing is the difference is it's a much different time right pistol pete came up in the aba in the 70s and the aba's whole thing was to look different than the nba so if you can if you

can dribble around and throw behind the back passes the league was like fuck yeah do that shit because we want that's how you look different that's how you look different that's the only you have to separate yourself. It's a more exciting game. Pete was shooting granny shots from the free throw line, too. You want to shoot those, you fuckface? That's true, too, yeah. No, he's got a point, but it's still, you know,

the NBA by the late 90s had changed a lot to where it was so organized and everything was triangle offense. It was dominating and there was no room for. Everything was organized. Yeah, there's no isolation. Just take them and see what you can dribble around them and then do a behind-the-back pass. The NFL can't play the same game as they played in the 70s right now either.

No, you get penalized every 10 seconds for clotheslines. You'd be arrested probably. Yeah, you probably would. They take you off the field in cuffs now for one quarter worth of a Raider game in the 70s. So he plays for Milwaukee, plays in 27 game in the 70s. He plays for Milwaukee. Plays in 27 games in his rookie year. Zero started. 13.4

minutes a game. So they're going to bring him in slow. 2.2 points a game. Nothing much at all. 2.6 assists. Half a steal. Nothing much here. Less than a rebound per game. Makes $301,875. That's a deal. Which is pretty good. It's probably, I'm sure, more than his father's game, makes $301,875,000. That's a deal.

Which is pretty good. It's probably, I'm sure, more than his father's made in his whole life, not counting what he's scrounged together and spent on crack. I'm talking honest earnings, not crack stealings. Not that. Not crack scroungings. That's a different story. And he should have waited on that Jordan rookie card to mature.

He could have had a lot more crack than he probably got. Nowadays, good crack nowadays good lord he could get so much crack there's a pile of it a mountain of crack 2000 2000 see crackheads that's no foresight that's really what the problem with crack is really living for today that's you know what that's what it is they're living for today crackheads take it easy look to tomorrow maybe get a 401k you know how much crack you can get once that matures roth i or a's are amazing even just like t bills is you're going to get more crack in the end is what we're saying it's going to be more crack for your money over time your return will be much greater work so simple 2000 2001 he's playing from milwaukee again plays in 37 games this time only starts two uh averages 2.1 points a game this time.

So again, just not, you know, they're bringing him along very slowly. Milwaukee really doesn't seem to have much use for him and what he does and his skill set. He makes $423,500, though. I would love for someone to give me $423,500 who had little use for my skill set or what I did. Imagine that shit. He's made $700,000 in two years. You don't really fit in here, but we're going to pay you fucking $423,500 for it. Just to see if maybe you can contribute once in a while.

That's incredible. Holy shit. We have to make good shows every fucking week and make nowhere near $423,500. That's really not fucking fair at all. Eat dicks. We're hoping that by the time this shit's over, we have made $423,500. Yeah. That's not anywhere near.

No, we're not there yet. You get the sniffles and we can't record for a week. Yeah, we're in deep shit. It's over. So, 2001-2002 season. Still with Milwaukee. This year, they use them a little bit more 50 games so that's not bad uh 50 games uh seven games started averages 3.5 points a game so you know it's it's inching up it's inching it's not much but it's it's inching uh 2.9 assists per game so it's it's something and his pay is inching up also because these contracts escalate.

He makes $625,000 this year. He's made over a million dollars in his life. Oh, absolutely. In three years. In three years. Stupid. For never averaging more than 3.5 points a game. That's not too shabby.

That's really pretty decent. That is fan-fucking-tastic. That'd be like if you had to work like seven hours a week but got paid an exorbitant amount of money. A million dollars over three years. Just huge. You're like, wow, this is amazing. I really like my job. September 6, 2002.

Now he's a free agent after that year because he's a second-round guy, so it's a three-year contract. It's up with Milwaukee. Where is he going to go? He's signed as a free agent with the Golden State Warriors at this point in 2002. But in October of 2002, which is right in the beginning of the season there, he's waived by the Warriors. They should can him. So now his contract's expired with Milwaukee.

He's averaged at most 3.5 points a game. This is tough when you're out here in this situation. But he's lucky. He catches on. January 17, 2003, he signs a contract for the rest of the season with the Toronto Raptors. I was just going to say it's an expansion team. Yeah, they put that stupid jersey on him and fucking roll him out there. Go ahead, idiot, and fucking feel awful.

The jizz on the shoulder. Yeah, the jizz on the shoulder. Ignore Charles Oakley. He's going to say terrible things about him, and Mason are going to say awful things together. So he plays in 47 games, which is basically the rest of that season. Four started, averages 7.8 points a game now so he's a little bit more they're letting him play uh 4.1 assists per game so not bad now we're

talking that's a little bit better uh and also he's so lucky because he didn't really get a chance to put his skills on display in milwaukee and then he gets cut and he's like okay now what do i do at least toronto let him play a bit, enough to show the rest of the league that he could actually fucking play, which is, honestly, you should be thanking the shit out of Toronto for that. But his contract's up at the end of the year. September 4, 2003, he signs as a free agent with the Miami Heat. So he's on some – those Heat teams were pretty good from 2003, kind of on until recently, honestly.

That team – Until they found out that that simpsons character has a heart condition yeah it's like oh shit it's over now chris bosh that ugly jesus christ yeah he's he's an alien he fit on the raptors he looked like the dinosaur he had the same face yeah it fit him it was good yeah he's a large he's a scary man i hear he's like the nicest person too i've read things Yeah, he's a large, he's a scary man. I hear he's like the nicest person, too. I'm sure he was. I've read things about him. Everything he says, he's like the nicest guy. He's like, he had lots of charity work and shit.

Like, he's a real good dude. He should be. He's just hideous and it's sad. I'm sorry. Any day could be his last. It could. He could drop it any second. This is his year to kind of flourish.

He plays in 82 games this year. The whole season. Every game he plays in. He starts 28, which, hey, that's more than a quarter of the games he started. So they're believing in him a little bit. 31.5 minutes a game. So he's not just coming off the bench for a few. He's a solid sixth man.

He's playing the whole half. He's playing a lot. Yeah, he's playing a lot. There's only 48 in the game, huh? Yeah, he's playing a lot of the game. I mean, that's like your sixth man. That's your first guy off the bench right or a starter in certain cases uh he averages 10.2 points a game that year fantastic it's better so he went from 3.5 to 7.8 to 10.2

in the last three years good for him uh 4.5 assists per game which is where he wants to be uh he also learns to be he's a shit shooter when he comes in the league. Really? As a lot of point guards are. A lot of point guards are terrible shooters. Well, it's not their job. No, and they're told throughout high school and college to distribute, and they're not great shooters because they're not scorers.

Yeah, they're not the playmaker, and they're not supposed to be. You make the play. You set it up and get the man the ball that's going to fucking score. And on the playground, the 18-foot jump shot isn't considered the most heroic of things to do you gotta take a guy to the rack or pass it so a guy can ooper it's gotta be 23.2 yeah that's the shot that matters back then even then they were like we too scared to fucking come to the hole bitch like that's why i loved basketball back then people be like if you were just shooting threes they'd just be like i'm just gonna knock you down next time before you start shooting that shit and i'll just keep doing that

or you can come to the hole like a fucking you know like a fucking adult right yeah come in here like a fucking adult and try to take the ball to the goddamn hole uh i like that game i don't that's a that's a much look i get the the the allure of we've talked about someone should have a bloody nose after a fucking playground game there should be someone should bruises something now they never even touch each other because they're all just spread out around the three-point line waiting for shots like if someone just ran underneath you'd have an open shot asshole you shouldn't be able to high-five because you're holding your shoulder that's what it should be yeah i feel like i feel like basketball is going to come around to where because now it's like a small guard it's like a guard game with the

three-pointers it's going to come around to being a center game again because everybody's all the way the fuck out there someone's going to go let's just get like three big guys and put them down low let them shoot all the fucking threes they want they'll never stop we'll get we'll score we'll be a hundred percent field goal percentage down low hundred percent twos is still better than 53 when steph curry jumps up put a forearm in his fucking chest one time, he's going to be a little skittish on that next three. That's all I'm saying.

Because that's what they would have done back in the day. If he came out on an old Knicks, against like an old Knicks team, Anthony Mason would have fucking cross-body checked him, and he would have thought twice the next time if he saw Anthony's big head running at him. He would have been like, is he going to fucking destroy me again?

Maybe I'm not such a good shooter today. Ask him that about that, Steph. Yeah, that's what happens. happened so i don't know he makes 688 679 dollars that year wow doing fine yeah for a kid who's from the playground this is great two million dollars now you see without the domestic assault you're really rooting for the guy don't you want a guy because like i remember this guy's like i want this guy to fucking be good like i really do i liked him i'm thinking of all the investment opportunities he's got at this point i rooted for sebastian telfair for christ's sake because i love a playoff guy and he's an asshole he's a fucking

asshole and i still rooted for that guy uh that name just rings of of shit bag it's yeah it's a shame he's a team to team to team he has tried to up up. Never mind. So July 14th, 2004, he signs as a free agent with the Toronto Raptors. So they were enamored with him, I guess, from that one year of play. And they let him play a little bit, actually. In this, he plays in 80 games and he starts 78 of them. Wow. So that's it. He's a starting point guard in the NBA.

He went from nothing from a playground to a city college to a starting point. I mean, it is Toronto, mind you, but it's still technically an NBA team. It is. Barely. But it's still an NBA team. Vermedial as fuck, but it's a team. They did have a cartoon dinosaur on their shirt, which is funny. But still, he started 78 games.

And no amount of changing that jersey. For a semi-professional basketball team no amount of changing that jersey is going to wipe that shit image it's still happening it's still on there we know about it so he scores 14 they kind of wait for all of us to die it's going to be generations generations i'm going to show my kids so they go so they know when they're adults at that don't like the raptors these were their jerseys that's your last your last fucking never enjoy them never enjoy the raptors these were their jerseys just last breath i wanted to talk the denver broncos logo was garbage forever i love that

the d with that d the one before it was a cowboy on oh that was a piece of shit yeah that was only for a couple years yeah but it's still there they got rid of that when the afl kind of tried to not be idiots and then that like sick dying horse on the fucking star yeah this year he averages 14.2 points a game like we said which is fantastic uh 6.4 assists 3.5 rebounds this kid's a fucking legit starter and as a legit starter in the nba toronto pays him as a legit starter in the nba because they must have expected it to sign him to this deal they must have expected him to be a starter 3.5 million dollars that season that's a great season and he was so he went out and earned his goddamn money too he upped his fucking game he went from seven 3.5 points to 7.8 points to 10.2 to 14.2 you give

him the time because he upped his uh he's 34 minutes a game yeah you give him the time he scores the points that's what he's 300 to 3 million that's amazing isn't it wow i'm not crazy man so he that had to feel amazing fucking Fucking America. Fuck, man. Well, actually, Canada. Yeah. Ah, Canada. Ah, Canada. He's up there with $3 million in free health care. That's fantastic.

That's true. But the $3 million is worth like a mil seven there. So no, I'm just kidding. I know you're not Canada. It's like 80 cents on the dollar. I understand. I get it. So he then at this point, though, so you think he's got the fucking best situation.

They like him up there. They're giving him money. They're letting him start. Life is good. And then he raped a moose. And then he fucking absolutely took a caribou by the fucking horns and mouth fucked it for a while. For a while. People got it on video.

It was that long. And he's actually banned from the country now. They get a smile and everything. He actually does something dumber. You could probably get away with that as a prank somehow. I don't know if you really knew how to spin it. I'm not sure. I bet a Palin's done it.

It's happened. At least one of their boyfriends. At least one of the daughter's boyfriends. So he, at this point, reportedly and allegedly, gets into a fist fight with his head coach. No. gets into a fist fight with his head coach. No. Which is probably, in basketball,

one of the few things you can't do and be fine about. Which coach was it? Sam Mitchell. Oh, really? Yeah, who's an ex-player, I believe. You can't see Latrell Sprewell. I mean, he choked Carlissimo, who's an asshole, and he still choked him anyway, and he got in trouble for that

otherwise a star player can get a head coach fired that's the thing he could have got him fired if he wanted to he could that's what players do you get a couple of stars together they'll shit can a coach uh you can't hit him though no at that point you're in the wrong there's really no like well he did this so you know you can't punch your coach stupid there's like a few people you can't punch and and he's one of them. Your wife, him, you know, the owner. That's about it. Anybody else will let it slide. You can punch a teammate.

That's happened in a million of these stories. So many times. Fine. Don't drop a weight on his groin. No. That'll get you suspended. It's a dick move. So anyway, yeah, he had some problems there.

Gets in a fist fight with his coach. Not advised. And October 4th, 2005, he's traded by the raptors uh to the houston rockets for mike james really so the rockets end up getting a steal out of this because they get a guy who's he's got over value right yeah he's got more value right then uh they just they need to get rid of him and they know it so they're like we'll give you this fucking guy how's that even though he's a starting point guard in the league and had a good year last year. So he ends up in Houston, which is a good place for him.

He ends up liking Houston, sticking around Houston for a while. Yeah, Houston's nice. As a matter of fact, there's a show. The place everyone in America should really try to get to Houston on one particular day. It's a very special day in Houston. It's a live small town murder that day at the house of blues mandy malone day mandy malone uh it's a huge venue absolutely enormous and um there's really uh it's silly that we're booked there for some reason

honestly uh because we have way more listeners in dallas but we're in like a smaller theater but what the fuck who knows through so come through uh if you're from the surrounding areas please uh come from your your uh your dust tents yeah and your uh campsites and get on your horses and throw your pork and bean bindle over your shoulder and get on moving climb out of the dirt like john goodman and raising arizona please and buy tickets okay plug over. So, 12.1 points a game that year for him in 63 games. He starts all 63. Okay. So, that's good. That's a plus for Houston.

He makes $3,850,000. He has done so well for himself. He's doing great. A crackhead's kid has made this kind of money. His dad's just going, man, how much crack did I buy? I should have been nicer to that fucking kid. Before, he's like, we had a falling out. He's like, god damn it.

He's doing math. Hey, how much crack can I get for $3.8 million? The guy's like, fuck, I don't know. You'd have to do the math. We'd have to get a truck. That's a lot. You would retire your drug dealer with that kind of money. You can't just walk up and have him go, yeah, around the corner, see the other guy.

It's not going to work. with that kind of money you can't just walk up and have him go yeah around the corner see the other guy it's not gonna work so uh 2006 2007 season uh once again for houston he averages 13.3 points a game while playing and starting all 82 games wow so legit starting point guard for 13.3 points a game 5.4 assists 3.4 rebounds total. He's doing fucking great. I am bummed that I abandoned the NBA at this time. Me too, actually. I am too. That strike really fucked me up. It wasn't there.

It pissed me off. I still haven't come back. I haven't either. It's so weird. I'm trying so hard. I was a fucking junkie. I was an NBA junkie. Oh, I loved it.

I loved it. I watched every goddamn televised thing. I don't give a shit if it was the Bucs and the Heat on a Tuesday night'll watch it i'm in i'm in let's do it who we got it was entertaining as shit and it's still entertaining it's just a kind of a different game now and there's only fucking three good teams and it drives me goddamn bonkers things that are a little different now yeah letting everybody go to whatever i don't want to bitch too much it's just now the nba is turned into a different thing and it's entertaining and the guys are great athletes and all that shit it's like wrestling

it's the same thing you just know who's gonna win well no i mean it's like i get it and the guys are all great athletes and they do their best and everybody works hard but it's just not as entertaining to look at i'd rather watch wrestling oh yeah it's probably much the nba better get their shit together maybe i gotta try that again yeah it. I give it a chance every couple of years to see if it's good again. I tried last year and I was. Wrestling? No. Or the NBA?

NBA. I tried so hard. And I did. The beginning. Fucking from tip off day one. Everybody knew who was going to be in the finals. Yeah. It's kind of sad.

And it was still fucking. I mean, they used to have the Lakers and the Celtics. But there was to be like four good teams at least. And there was still a chance that the show may not win. Yeah, that's true. You knew that it was going to be fucking LeBron. That would be tough. There's a lot of good teams.

And there was the Blazers and there was the Rockets. Yeah, you're right. You're right. So, yeah, 13.3 points. Not bad. Enough to make him $4.2 million for that year, which is goddamn impressive. He is crushing it. That is an impressive bounty of cash.

Crushing women's faces and bank accounts. And bank accounts. Well, he crushes a lot more pretty soon here. There's a lot of crushing coming up here for him. Skulls and the like. Let's get into it here after his $4.2 million season. Now, what does he do off the court? What's a guy like him do off the court with a motor and a guy who always to, you know, always like to kind of get into some shit and play dice and run the streets a little bit?

Well, he says and I don't hear the word strip club in here at all, as a matter of fact, but this is what he says about what he does. He says, quote, Oh, man, off the court. I'm a big bowling guy and I like to go to the movies. I'm a big moviegoer. I always go to the theater and I like watching movies at my house. I play video games here and there. It just depends on who comes over and who likes to play. Family friend.

Just a homebody. Yeah. Yeah. He likes movies. A dork. Yeah. He's a cinephile. I make Blue Apron at home.

You know, that's what I do. I like getting the recipes. It's, you know, you can prepare them in less than 40 minutes. It's really easy. It's pre-portioned ingredients. I don't have to have special spices. No. It's really great. That's what he's doing, basically I don't have to have special spices. It's really great.

That's what he's doing, basically. Send me a rutabaga. That's what he's telling everybody, though. He's like, you know, video games, just homebody stuff, you know, just sitting around. I like to make popcorn on my stove. I'm in a book club. Yeah. You know, we meet every Thursday.

That's pretty fun if there's no game. If not, we push it to Wednesday. You know, I mean, it's a day early. It's less reading, but then we have to just read more on Tuesday. So it's fine. We all like to read, it's a day early. It's less reading. But then we have to just read more on Tuesday. So it's fine. We all like to read, right? No, that's not what he's doing. Actually, on August 6, 2007, he's charged with a misdemeanor assault and public intoxication in Houston.

That's more like it. That's more like it. That's a party boy. That's what I'm talking about. My kind of night. He's accused of grabbing a parking attendant's arm and shaking him and holding him and then spitting on him after the vehicle is towed from a lot. His car got towed? His car got towed from a lot.

And I guess the attendant says that Rafer parked illegally and never paid anybody. He just pulled in and parked somewhere. Didn't pay anybody. He just was like, hey, fuck it. I'm on the rockets. I can park here now. And they were like, actually, no, you can't. That requires we don't care about your ride. I didn't pay anybody he just do that was like hey fuck it i'm on the rockets i can park here now and uh they were like actually no you can't uh that requires we don't care about your ride i didn't see any you didn't hand us tickets or anything like that so we're gonna call the cops

and have your car towed which they do and uh yeah he uh ends up freaking out drunkenly grabbing the guy while the guy tried to get away holding him and shit and he's a strong guy and a big guy and a drunk guy yeah and uh then he spits on him also which is a that's a dick injury that's a dick move any anytime our athletes spit on a guy i'm like come on man don't be spitting on people what are you fucking doing he's learning his lesson because a spit is much less uh damaging than a punch yeah a spill cost you less than a punch too really well there's no one's ever in the hospital from being having spit on their arm. No. So that's good for him.

He tells a Houston TV station, though, that he did not do a damn thing to that attendant. He is wrongfully accused. The next day he came out, he said he's innocent of misdemeanor assault and public intoxication charges. He said, I didn't grab anybody's arm. Nothing like that happened. This is what he says to a television interview about the whole thing. He says, quote, We got into a shouting match. My car was towed and I was basically asking the parking attendant where my car had been towed to.

I'm sure very calmly, sir. Sir, excuse me. Yes, I understand that you're very busy, but it seems my vehicle has been towed. I was wondering if possibly there's a contact information for where i could recover it is that possible sir i don't think that's what he then the guy was like yo fuck you man and he's like then he spit on him i don't think that's what happened i think he was drunk maybe he was just drunk and slobber yeah that's see he could have been spitting from being drunk but he was definitely holding the guy probably that while hitting on a

girl that's not a good sign no but i'm sure he was like motherfucker where's my fucking car you know where the fuck did it go asshole did you get it towed you motherfucker i'm sure he was threatening there was some throat clearing yeah that could have happened too uh he said quote there were no hits nothing transpired the guy runs off and yells down the street like he needed an officer over here before you know it the officer puts me in cuffs and takes me downtown i asked the guy what i was being charged with and he said public intoxication and assaulting someone and i said i'm neither of those which is a drunk answer that's clear it all up well he said he's charged with public intoxication and assaulting someone he said i'm neither of those that's a drunken answer to that. I'm not publicly intoxicated. Okay, you're not. I'm neither. I'm not assaulting. I don't know what I'm neither. Not a good answer to that.

It's definitely not the right answer to that. No, no. It's a funny answer. It's a funny fucking answer. Yeah. It's the answer of someone who doesn't shouldn't be talking to the police on their own media about the police. I should say. The drunken answer of somebody that just assaulted someone yeah that's what that is so uh they're both misdemeanor charges these uh because i mean he didn't like fucking he didn't lay into the guy he just was being a dick that's that's what you're charged with third degree dickery third degree nookery sorry that's 500 fine apologize to guy. Buy him a new fucking jacket because you spit on his shirt and we'll fucking move on.

How's that sound? Everybody happy? Good. I should be a fucking judge. Where's my gavel? It's right here. The court is fucking adjourned. Assholes, you and you.

Did you fucking tow his car? For what? Did you tell him first that you were done? You know what? You should have fucking grabbed his arm, but the spit was too much. 500 bucks. Move the fuck along. Get out of my god

until you stop being twat that's it done and you're a pussy anyway we're going to get a cop for that you don't need a fucking cop for that you asshole anyway be a goddamn you son of a bitch yeah it'd be me just the bailiffs would be restraining me in court if i was a judge your honor sit down and be like no fuck that guy big no no it's not worth it your honor it's not worth it i'd be like I have a hammer have you seen the new Norm Macdonald show on Netflix no I've seen it but I don't watch it he has Judy Shiland

he has Judge Judy as a guest and she's fucking incredible like you think that shit on TV is an act of her being a hard ass she's a hard ass she is fucking four foot eight she seems like a joy she is a hard ass to Norm Macdonald who's like 6'4 6'5 he's a hard ass. She is fucking four foot eight. Seems like a joy. Seems like a joy. She's a hard ass to Norm MacDonald, who's like six, four, six, five. He's a big fucking dude.

And she is like yammering in his face. It just seems like he'd be confused by that. And she's being polite. Like it's a conversation and she's being an asshole. I don't know why you're yelling at me, but all right. It's pretty hilarious. So great. Now, the Rockets general manager, Daryl Morey, he says, quote,

We are aware of the situation and are attempting to get more details on the incident. In other words, we're stalling. While we do not have all the facts, it is nevertheless very disappointing to have one of our players involved in any police activity. We will continue working with the authorities in order to get to the bottom of the situation, which is printed on a silver-haired, middle-aged white man's business card. He just hands you that card, if you remember the meeting. Read that. Here you go.

I know it's the one I gave you six months ago, and the other guy did that thing, but it's the same fucking statement. Same fucking statement. Suck it. So that's what it also says on the other side. It says suck it, and then the rest of that shit's on the other side. So it's a good card. So August 28th, 2007.

This is three weeks later after this nightclub incident. Yeah, it's immediately afterwards, pretty much. He is charged again with assault. This time it's worse. He's in Manhattan. He's at a nightclub. Bad stuff is going on here. He ends up charged with slashing a man's neck with a knife during

a brawl no this is a bad fucking charge this is not good and now back to the show uh the injured man here says uh the incident occurred after uh i guess they they act there was a club called club stereo i guess they accidentally bumped into each other is what the alleged victim allegedly says allegedly happened uh i don't know who knows what any if any of it's a shitload of alleged stuff who knows uh and i guess they got an argument over that which i remember being in that place where you fucking argue with people for bumping into you. It's like, I don't care anymore.

What a nightmare. I don't give a shit. I don't want that ever again. I just don't care. I'm just like, whatever. I'm stoned. Leave me alone. Like, what do you want from me?

Anyway, so apparently during. When you're in your 30s, somebody bumps into you and they go, I'm sorry. You go, it's cool. And then you move on. Actually, you both say, my bad. And then you move on. Because if you're both like that. Neither of us should be here right now.

We don't care. Yeah. Neither of us want to fight. We're both trying to get laid or whatever the fuck people do. I hate bars. Whatever the fuck people are doing at bars, trying to get laid, I assume. Or looking to get in fights. I'm trying to get shithoused right now.

Or getting shithoused. You want to get shithoused with me? Have a drink. Sure. There we go. Now, this guy says they had an argument and a slight tussle and people in Alston's entourage were involved in it. And out of nowhere, Rafer just slashed his neck.

He said with a knife. He said he went to the hospital to be treated for a minor neck injury and then filed a complaint at the police department, obviously. His defense attorney, Rafer's defense attorney, Alberto Ebanks, said that witnesses told him that the man didn't appear to be injured when he left the club and never alerted police officers who were in the area. He said, why did he wait until he went to the hospital? Cops said that...

Because he has a fucking sliced neck. Or maybe he wanted to go, well, this comes out, this is a weird thing. But it's so strange because you don't know who to believe because Rafer's got pals and it's in his hometown. And neither of them

should be there. Neither of them should be. This is in the middle of the night, by the way. 50% on him. This is in the 50-50 territory where you walk away with a slashed neck,

holding your hand to it, nodding your head, going, yeah, I shouldn't. Yeah, I know, I know. I know, I should have excited. I know. I know. I should have excited. I know. I've got kids. I'm going to go to the get.

I'm going to get it stitched up. Don't worry about it. I shouldn't be here. I understand. My wife doesn't even know. You're right. What the fuck am I doing? Yeah.

I don't know what's happening here. So I feel like that's what was going on here. Now, apparently the cops also said that he reported the incident after he drove himself to the hospital. His wife, Ashman is the guy's last name. His wife told the Daily News, quote, I'm really upset about it. I can't believe it. I was like, oh, my God, your throat. Which, yeah, that's not a statement that you need to print.

His wife was surprised and said, oh, my God, your throat. Let me write that down. That seems. Wow. That's a story, guys. His wife said, your throat. Let me write that down. That seems. Wow. That's a story, guys. His wife said, I didn't even know he was out. That's the news. Yeah.

So he's at where he's not even supposed to be there. That's what he said. It's remarkable. She said also that's 50 percent on him. He said the same thing. Yeah. I mean, it happens. She said also that her husband was not available to speak, you know, because of the throat injury.

It's very difficult. Now, a bouncer at the club. Now, this is a club that Alston hangs out with in the town that he's from. And he's like got a lot of street cred. And oh, by the way, Alston was there with his brother, who was the use. The felon, the guy with the guy. He's got the guy. I mean, that's a long time ago.

But still, you know, if he's a neighborhood guy and he's kind of follow you yeah that's the thing he's still probably a certain type of dude who doesn't take shit probably from people also that sort of thing here yeah uh this guy says that uh uh alston and his brother had a group of had words with a group of guys but he said that no one was stabbed the bouncer says he said, I was in the middle of it. I walked Rafer and his brother out to his car, out to their car. He didn't slash him. So I don't know. We don't know how to believe here. The guy slashed is 41 years old, by the way, who should most certainly not be from Uniondale, Long Island, which means he's in from the island, which he really shouldn't be there.

Go back home. You're 41 and you're fucking married. You live in Long Island. You shouldn't be there. Go back home. You're 41 and you're fucking married and you live in Long Island. You shouldn't be at Manhattan fucking night spots ever. That should never be in your fucking vocabulary. Go home. Fucking three hour train ride in. Is that what that is?

That's ridiculous. No, no, it's not that far. How far is that? It's not far, but it's still, it doesn't matter. With the stops and shit, I mean? You live on Long Island. You should fucking... Stay there. Resign yourself to Island you should fucking stay there resign yourself

to that fate and fucking stay there on your anniversary once a year you and your wife are allowed to come into the city for a decent dinner and then get the fuck back over there to your shitty island so by the way New York show in December November December 2nd I believe please come to that it's at the

Gramercy come on in from Long Island make it your once a year I had that plan get a decent dinner It's over there at the Gramercy. It's at the Gramercy. Come on in from Long Island. Make it your once a year. I had that plan. Get a decent dinner and have a show. I had that plan from the start. Come on. Get the fuck out of here. Take it the fuck back across. So, yeah.

Back on your ferry. You know what it is. So, yeah, they said the Rockets reiterate that they take matters very seriously and the Rockets expect all employees to represent the organization in a first-class manner. Until more facts are gathered from all parties, it would be inappropriate for me to comment further. I'm going to stall this out and hope it goes away.

Maybe they'll drop the charges. Have a good one, everybody. Love Rudy T. Yeah, love Rudy T. Thank you. Thank you very much. So he was arraigned on felony assault charges before being released without bail of his own recognizance because people know who he is and they know where he's supposed to be at night, which makes sense. He's ordered to return to court January 3rd. And his lawyer says he is, quote, absolutely innocent, which no athlete should ever say in court because that's way too close to absolutely positively 100 percent not guilty, which is what OJ said said which means i absolutely cut that bitch's head

off we don't need that shit so he's having a lot of fucking problems right now he's out on bail luckily for him he's back home which we know is a fucking bad sign and he's in new york and he's got these charges pending so he's hanging out in fucking new york not good not a good thing it's terrible he said at one point he's actually hanging out like in the neighborhood that he grew up in and shit this isn't good no you can't be fucking hanging out there it's terrible and at one point too he's like he goes down to the corner just get some shit from the store and he hears something from a building and he looks over into the stoop into the the walkway there and it's estevez jones m MMA fighter and 70s Blaxploitation film villain.

And he says, Motherfucker. How is it you come to arrive here, you stupid ass motherfucker? What the fuck is wrong with you, man? I used to watch you. I seen you on the court when you was a little kid.

I bet on your ass. You know, I made money from you. You understand what I'm saying? I like you. I want this shit to go good for you. You understand what I'm saying? I like you. I want this shit to go good for you. You know what I'm saying? You had this dribble, too. I admired it.

I was jealous. You come up the court. You could dribble so good with one hand back and forth that you could take just, you could come up the side of the court and just take your free hand and just paintbrush a bitch on the side for not having your motherfucking money when you beep your horn to check your traps. You know what I'm saying? That kind of shit.

That kind of shit make me like angry because you had the talent to do it and you're just being a stupid motherfucker. I'm very disappointed in you right now but when you're done playing, if you and your brother need some work, you come to me because I got some shit popping up. Oh shit, I gotta go now. I hear 501. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. And he poofed in a poof of cheetah and

a gold chain. Purple mink. Purple mink. He he poofed in a poof of cheetah and a gold chain. Purple mink. Purple mink. He's gone. And Rafer's very confused. He's like, I've seen him in a movie from 1975 that my older brother made me watch. That's very, very odd, this man. And by the way, anybody who thinks the how you've come to arrive here characters are racist stereotypes. They are. That's the point they're stereotypes the whole point is they're so exaggerated it's ridiculous that's why i also do my grandmother who is also an exaggerated ridiculous ethnic stereotype because it's true and bobby colorado and i would make them all italian guys because that's my most fun to make

fun of but it's not quite as entertaining as different points of view from different people who come in and I can't control who comes in to talk. Jimmy, can I? They come in and they leave. I leave the door open and they... It's not our fault. It's not my fault. I say, someone show up. They pull a name out of a hat, and here they are. There they go. So 2007, 2008

in Houston, there's some blogger that's kind of a prominent sports blogger there has a petition to remove Rafer from the team. They want him gone. They want him gone. They say that on October 4, 2005, the Rockets made a rare personnel mistake. They traded Mike James, a key player on a playoff team, to Toronto for one Rafer Alston.

This man. And they, Jesus Christ, they say, this is like, they're building the case. In the interim, two plus years, Mr. Alston has proceeded to amass the following statistics. 12.1 points a game, 6.7 assists per game in 05-06. Goes on to blah, blah, blah, more stats. Of course, this did not take into account his badly timed turnovers in the fourth quarter, his continual regression into the skip to my loose streetball persona alter ego when a simple chest pass would suffice.

That's the whitest sentence I've ever heard in my fucking life. Oh, I can. I've never heard of. Yeah. I'm going to switch the vice. Some fucking jerk. Semicolon. He follows it with a semicolon.

Of course he does. There is no whiter punctuation than a fucking semicolon. This fucking jerk in an Oxford dress down. Fucking lost money on the Rockets and now his daughter has crooked teeth forever. He couldn't hit a free throw if you gave him 10 tries and he's going to talk shit about basketball

players. Fuck you. He also says his stunning inability to pass the ball to a man 7'5 who happens to be standing 5' away, a shooting form that is the basketball equivalent of Jeff Bagwell's bat batting stance wow who all by the way has 500 plus home runs it's a terrible example awful example this guy can't can't look steph curry shoots weird too right yeah this guy can't look beyond houston no he's even comparing a baseball player and he's

that's what i mean like pick it fucking Bill Cartwright had an ugly fucking free throw, too. I don't like the way Earl Campbell ran in 1979. What are you talking about? Fuck you. Look beyond the horizon, sir. But that year, he plays in all 74 of 74 games. He starts 13.1 points a game. He had 13.3 last year, so he's Mr. Consistency.

While this guy's throwing pork and beans cans around his fucking trailer. He's yelling at his kids for not being as athletic either, even though the genetics that this man gave these poor fuckers. Why can't you jump? Because you suck, Dad. That's why. Listen, Todd, I'll tell you why. Because your calves look like Slim Jims.

That's why you can't fucking jump. That's your problem, you asshole. So 13.1 points a game that year. 5.3 assists, 3.5 rebounds, and $4,550,000. There's the man's problem. At the bank right there. So not too fucking shabby. All that money for nothing.

Yeah, not too bad. So much money. Yeah, it is. August 13, 2008. He's due in court for an arraignment. Why? Because he has a drunk driving charge that happened the night before. He's arrested at 2.30 in the morning and released on a $500 bond.

His agent didn't return a call from the newspaper here in this one article. And the Rockets also had no comment, obviously. Now, Rafer was pulled over. This is what the police say for driving late at night without his lights on. And they said basically he they pulled him over and he got out and they asked him if he'd been drinking. So he angrily made his case for being sober. No, I'm fucking sober. And they were like, OK.

And then finally he gets super angry, lays down on the hood and puts his hands back and demands to be arrested. Oh my God. Fucking, you arrest me now. You think I'm fucking arrest me then? We will. You goddamn arrest me. So they're like, all right.

They just slap the cuffs on him. All right. You can't, if you ask the cops to arrest you. They'll do it. They'll do it. If they're suspecting you of something. That's their favorite. And then you go arrest me.

They're like, all right, fuck it, I guess. I don't know. DUI? I mean, that's a, just take you down and throw you in jail. We don't have to punch you. This is great. You don't even have to be on something.

We could just go, his eyes look glassy, and then we're fine to take you to jail and ruin your life. Let's go. That's allowed for some reason. I don't know why. So he's a man demands, like I said, bends over the car, hands behind his back, and then refuses to speak with police officers until they arrest him. He said, I'm not saying another word until you put cuffs on me.

They were like, but sir, you... Nope, not cuffs. Once they cuffed him, then he was like, okay, what do you need to know now? Cuff me up and I'm a songbird. There's a video, by the way. Really? No audio, but you can see him being like, putting his hands behind his back. It's pretty fucking amusing.

I'm going to be honest with you. It's pretty funny. At 2.30 in the morning. But at the same time, he didn't... I don't know if he's even drunk or not. And it's like, I don't know. Arrest before body cam with volume is fucking. It's so difficult, man. I don't trust anybody.

It's a nightmare. So October 28th, 2008, DWI court here. In the closing statements, they had a trial for this bad boy. No plea. statements they had a trial for this bad boy no plea uh he his lawyer noted that uh rafer told police that he had quote three or four drinks in an hour and a half and then closed the club pandora uh that he was at okay so he told him so he said he had three or four drinks a while before that and then closed down the club and blah blah blah so he was saying he wasn't drunk he's like i'm not fucking drunk i know that that's not enough to get me drunk. Three or four drinks is enough.

But I think it was over an hour and a half, and then it was another hour and a half after that. So who the fuck knows? But I mean, it could have been a half hour. You can't just believe it. Oh, that's all you? Okay, yeah, no, you're good. No, no, get back in the car.

That would be everybody. I had two glasses of wine. She said she only had two glasses of wine, so it's fine, everybody, never mind. We don't need these breathalyzers anymore. Just, we believe you. I got pulled over and did a field sobriety test. And the cop comes up to my truck and goes, you been drinking tonight?

And I was like, I had two drinks. And he goes, two? And I was like, yeah. He goes, you know how many people told me that tonight? That's what I mean. That's the comment. Had two drinks. Because that sounds realistic.

No one has one drink. I had half a beer. Sure you did. But if you say five that's way too much but two is like that's enough to not be make me drunk but it sounds like i'm giving into something that's weak shit i got two drinks that's like you know i go i don't and he goes that's every last one of them he goes get out of the truck that's the misdemeanor equivalent of i didn't kill him but i was there when he was that's the misdemeanor equivalent of i didn't kill him but i was there when he was that's the misdemeanor

equivalent of that like i'll give you that but i didn't pull the trigger that wasn't me at all i did the field sobriety test and fucking passed it and he sent me home oh nice well good nicest cop ever nice job thank you sir good for you don't know your name i'd give you a shout so why do you play over in the first place because i made an illegal u-turn you're an idiot that's your fault because i was buzzed you. You know what? Your fault. There you go. So good job passing it then. You know what? I didn't make an illegal U-turn.

I made a three-point turn. Don't drink and drive, please, Jimmy. Jesus Christ. I was fucking 20. I understand. 21. I was 21. Fucking 17 years ago or something.

I made a three-point turn in the middle of the road. Yeah, you can't do that. You can't do that. You look pretty. You look drunk, sir. That just uh the middle of the night that's just like well i'm bored so i might as well pull that guy over yeah uh now uh harden said that uh he this is the lawyer harden he tells the jurors that the only reason his lights weren't on was because it was a brightly lit area and he has like my car has an auto lights where you just keep it on that at all times you turn it off the car goes off you turn it on they come on their

daytime running then when it gets darker they turn into night lights it's all fucking sensors they said that he had this but a valet that night where he was coming from had clicked it off yep so he expected his lights to be on and it was bright enough so he didn't notice that they weren't on which i don't know how you don't notice how you can't see your fucking dashboard. Right. Fucking. That's the key. That's the key.

Anyway, well, there's usually light on my face. No, it's not there. But he said. I usually see how fast I'm going right now. I can't. I can't see that. That's strange. But he also said that Alston was not intoxicated and said instead was just the victim of miscommunication.

That's all it was. instead was just the victim of miscommunication. That's all it was. He also said that Alston didn't overreact to questions posed by the arresting officer and said that the player just locked up and refused to talk, forcing police to charge him because he didn't want his legal rights to not talk and whatever. So anyway, the jury takes an hour to find him not guilty of DW dwi which i find amusing lucky doc knock is a two-day trial two-day fucking trial and an hour of deliberations to decide whether he had three or four drinks it's fucking insane two two days out of his life to get out of everybody's life

never mind his life these jurors have nothing to fucking do with this asshole or anybody else and they had to sit there for fucking two days for this shit. Jesus, I'd be mad if I was on a jury. Good for him. Yeah, good for him. If he wasn't drunk, good. I mean, if he was drunk, he shouldn't have been driving. So anyway, they showed the video footage of him being interviewed by the police and arrested and doing all that.

He hugged his attorney and was all very fucking happy. doing all that uh he hugged his attorney and was all very fucking happy there's an alternate juror there that they talked to a guy named thomas tran park uh who said that uh that six of the jurors who said he would talk about the the verdict even though a bunch of them didn't he this guy said quote i could completely understand i've been to pandora i had my car valet parked and the valet turned off my automatic lights i wasn't intoxicated either this okay yeah how fucking lucky do you have to get where you get a fucking juror that is like i've been to that club and the same thing happened to me but this that was it that red-headed motherfucker the same guy who's the same guy he's like he always turns people's shit off overturn my case too can we get a podcast

can we get a podcast started to get me justice fuck was it rusty medina so jesus the prosecutor said he's disappointed by the verdict but he respects the jury's opinion well what else are you gonna say for the prosecutor lost yeah fuck those people you can't say that so 2008 2009 season uh he is part of a three-team trade the rockets have had enough of this shit and they send him to the magic uh okay three-team trade between the grizzlies and the rockets and and the magic uh kyle lowry's involved in this brian cook uh donald foil remember him the old shitty Colgate power forward center. I don't know why I remember he went to Colgate. From a bunch of teams.

Why did I remember he went to Colgate? That's the weirdest thing to remember from a 20-year-old basketball guy who didn't matter at all. Wow, okay. But he's the one involved from the magic in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is, and also a first-round pick, the Grizzlies. This shit's all thrown up into a big hat and thrown up in the air and you hold your hands out whatever falls into your hands you get so the rockets end

up with or the uh magic end up with rafer okay uh this year and the rockets end up with some other shit who cares uh so uh that year uh that's magic post uh uh shack he's already long gone oh yeah oh christ yeah this is a team. This is actually a good Magic team. They go to the finals. But it's just an aberration. They're shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, and then they go to the finals, get beat up by the Lakers, and then they're shit again.

But this is when Dwight Howard was still something. That was their team here. Dwight Howard was new then. Yeah, he was pretty new. Yeah, this is like his fourth year i want to say something like that his fourth maybe fourth year third fourth or fifth year somewhere in there uh turkalu was on that team and this is not a jj reddick this is not a star packed good teams yeah but it's not like a a star studded all you know whatever team but they

somehow go that's how weak the eastern conference was back then too it was like yeah who's the sacrificial lamb this year to get slaughtered by the fucking west uh yeah so uh he ends up on orlando this year 12 points a game uh only plays in 29 games and uh because it's a trade situation he played in uh 48 in houston play starts all 20 starts 28 to 29 in orlando 12 points a game 5.11 rebounds, 2.9 assists, but he's huge in the playoffs. He comes up big in the playoffs, and he ends up being a huge spark in their playoff run and just his energy, and it turns into a big deal. He really does well. They win first round, they beat the Sixers uh second round they beat the celtics in a seven game series uh then they go on to beat the cavaliers in early lebron times there

uh four games to two also and then they lose uh four to one to the lakers that's a beating who were pretty good yeah that's a beating good but i mean they were terrible they that team that i just read off wasn't going to beat the lakers from that era at all but rafer do whatever he wants because he's got 4.9 million goddamn dollars from this season alone which is not too shabby at all i would say that's i'll take that every goddamn time uh june 25th 2009 he is traded by the orlando magic with tony batty and courtney lee to the new jersey nets for for Ryan Anderson and Vince Carter. So Vince Carter involved in this trade, which is interesting. Dwight Howard's pissed about the trade, by the way.

Really? He's mad. He likes Vince Carter and all that, but he was mad that they lost Rafer. He wanted Rafer. Yeah, he posted on his blog the day after the trade, quote, Skip to my Lou helped us so much last season. He's a legend, man. Three exclamation points.

We wouldn't have gotten to the finals without you, Skip. So how about this? This dude, that's the thing about this dude. He has so much. Even the guys who are, you know, not like streetball guys. He has so much fucking respect from everybody because he's like he plays in the nba and he could he was amazing anywhere on the fucking planet and just for basketball players that's a it's a certain thing man it's just that guy's a legend in that era it's it's a different

it's pretty fucking cool uh but ray for school with it he's fine because he's going where home they played the metal lands he can live in his old house if he wanted to not that he would because now he's got a lot of money but if if he felt like it, if he wanted to. This is great for him. No, it's great for him, but he's breaking crime and sports rules all over the fucking place. He says, quote, I'm excited not only to be with the Nets, but to be able to play in front of family and friends and also the opportunity to help a franchise turn things around. I know we have a lot of young athletic guys. That's one thing I stress to the coaches here,

that I'm very excited to be on the court with a lot of young athletic guys, although I'm getting old. Most people get down about a trade. I had the opportunity to get traded from a contending team to another contender. Now I have a chance to help a team turn things around. So he's ready to rebuild the nets at this point.

That's a lot of positivity. That's a lot of, everything he says is positive even his apologies are like i'm real sorry i didn't mean to fuck up uh september 15 2009 uh charges are dropped against him in the assault case uh assault charges dropped uh this is the nightclub slashing right uh they're unable to prove a case the prosecutor said they were unable to prove a case beyond a reasonable doubt in the assault and attempted assault cases, so they had to drop the charges.

This is, of course, with the 41-year-old club goer. The Long Island goer. Yeah, the fucking bridge and tunnel guy over here. That's Jersey, but still. Get the fuck back over there. Close enough. Get out there on your goddamn flat, shitty island. Enjoy.

God damn it. So, God forsaken place. Is there a Ferris wheel out there? I'm sure there is, right? I'm sure there's plenty of Ferris wheels. So, the defense lawyer here, the charges were dropped. This is fucking funny here. The district attorney's not happy.

They said, quote, while the victim suffered serious knife wounds, there are questions about where the victim was injured. So now they're saying they don't even believe if he was slashed there, if he went in the car and slashed himself. Or maybe he got home and told the wife that he got his ass kicked. Yeah. She was like. Let's put this together. Two and two, baby. You think that was bad?

Two and two equals $4.9 million last year. Let's talk about this. So this in Jersey, too, he has problems. Off the court, he's off the court. Let's talk about this. In Jersey, too, he has problems, though. Off the court, he's like, I can't wait. Jersey's great. Can't wait to be here. In the court, I guess he has a squabble with some players.

But this is what they brought him in for. He's an older guy, and he's been in the league 10 years at this point. You want a veteran, and he was questioning and yelling at some players, some of his teammates, about how hard they were playing or lack of effort from what he thought. So to me, if I'm a coach, I'm like, well, you don't fucking like it. Try harder. You know what I'm saying? Like, hey, you know, the team leader's telling you to fucking, you know, if Michael Jordan said that to people, they'd go, what great leadership. What great leadership from him.

Unbelievable. He punched a guy. He punched people in the face in practice. People are like, that's intense. He's intense. If Skip to my Lou did that, they'd be like, what a thug. What a thug. Why?

It's the same fucking thing. They have the same mentality of winning. It's all it is. It's a different background. At the USA training. Oh, God. I want to say it was a Carl Malone. No, I don't think so.

I think Carl Malone would have thrown him into the stands. I don't think you want to fucking pop Karl Malone in the face. He's just enormous. I forget who he fought. And muscular. I'm blanking. I can't remember either. But he boxed somebody with fucking.

Who knows? I hope it was Leitner and his fucking stupid look on his face. That would have been great. I really hope it was Leitner. It was the fucking Warriors coach there. What was his name? God damn it. Which?

Don Nelson? Was it Don Nelsonitner. What was the fucking Warriors coach there? What was his name? God damn it. Which? Don Nelson? Was it Don Nelson? No. The other one. The fucking, the guy that was the coach of the USA team. No. Yeah. Moving on. Whatever.

Sorry. I know what you're talking about. Chuck Daly? Yes. The Pistons coach. Bang. Chuck Daly. Was he the Pistons?

Pistons, yeah, because they had won a few. Yeah, no. Later. No, not later. But Chuck Daly, Pistons, forever. They're both blue. Let's do this. We're trying.

Maybe that's my train of thought. I don't know. It's definitely Chuck Daly. Flipper was not a dolphin. They're both blue. It's Chuck Daly. It's fine. It's all good.

So at this point here, with Jersey, he's having problems. It's fine. It's all good. So at this point here, with Jersey, he's having problems, so much so that he wants to get out of Jersey and negotiates a buyout of his contract to get out of New Jersey. What a deal. And January 7, 2010, he's released by the New Jersey Nets. He signs a little deal with the Heat for the rest of the year,

back to Miami because they liked him down there. What the hell? In Miami, he plays in 25 games. He's 6.6 points a game, which isn't that terrific. 2.9 assists, 2.2 rebounds. So not a wonderful end of the season in Miami, but he was averaging 9.7 per game in Jersey also. So not too great, but at the bank, as Dusty Rhodes would say,

at the pay window, he did pretty goddamn well. $5,053,133. Wow. That's a pretty good fucking year. That's combination salary from both teams. Added that up. That's outstanding. So there was a problem.

If you noticed, I said he only played 25 games for Miami. And he came in January where there's way more than 25 games left. Of course. That is because in March, where there's way more than 25 games left. Of course. That is because in March, he disappears from the team. Poof. Just walked out. He's gone. Takes off.

He's not gone for a long time. He's only gone. They're like, why the fuck didn't he show up? What happened? He said later on that he was content with his decision to leave. He says they took away a starting job from him, and he said that's not what it was about. It was about his twin sister tried to commit suicide a few days earlier. So he left the team without telling anybody to be by her side, I guess.

I don't know. That's what he's telling. That's what he's saying. Who the fuck? No, I mean, you can't. What are you going to say? Liar. Your sister's fine.

I don't know how you would dispute that. But at the same time, you're like, I mean, you kind of have you kind of have a job too and you know she could probably use some help and i could think of one way you could pay for that by your job i can also think of uh i don't know other dudes that could use your help yeah but if that is true and that's all he's the only person in the world i mean maybe he could have brought i don't fucking know i don't know the circumstance so you can't judge this if he actually was trying to help a suicidal sister, then he can't ever fault him for that. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with that. He says, quote, The way I handled it was wrong.

I really I didn't really tell team officials why I was leaving. He said he texted a team official and said he was going to Texas to be with his family. That's it. He didn't go in. You have to go in and talk to your coach. Right. That'll do. Yeah, that'll do. Here you go in you have to go in and talk to your coach right that'll do yeah that'll do here you go going to texas now okay i'll have to post it on the inside of my fucking

locker why didn't anybody check that's the type of thing too i feel like if you went to your coach and said yo my twin sister tried to kill herself and this is a real family fucking problem and i really could use a couple weeks off to be with my family and we're trying to get her into a program and help her out and we're all trying to talk i bet the coach would have been like we'll work with you you know that's they're like that in sports they might even bargain with you and be like how about five days yeah there's like you're a member of the family kind of and they kind of pretend to treat you that way at least you know while you while they wait for you to get injured so they can get rid of you so he said that uh uh he was coping with his twist as sister racine's attempted suicide

and uh at that point the coach pulled him aside and told him he was being uh not only dropped from the starting lineup but he was basically being moved to the end of the bench so he said he just took off after that with the suicide and the benching it was too much he said quote there was no argument or anything like that i've never been a quitter and I still want to go back there and tell them face to face. But after I had a little time to think about the fact that I wouldn't be playing anymore, I felt the best thing for me was to be with my loved ones. I just

knew if I've gotten on the phone and they said the wrong thing, voices would have been raised. I know myself. It would get bad. I'm a lunatic. I'm a lunatic and I'm going to say some shit that I'm going to regret, even though I go into it saying, don't say some shit you're going to regret. I'm still going to fucking do it. I got a lunatic. I'm a lunatic, and I'm going to say some shit that I'm going to regret, even though I go into it saying, don't say some shit you're going to regret. I'm still going to fucking do it. So I got a problem.

That's pretty much what he fucking said. But the heat ended up suspending him for the rest of the season for just walking out like that. You can't do that in sports, in professional sports. You can't do that in any job. They have money invested in you and shit like that. Career, and like you said, there's other guys that have plans. They count on you.

You have to at least tell them, hey, don't put me in the plans tonight. I'm going to be in Texas. You know how you got a game plan of how you plan to beat the Hornets tonight? Don't include me in that. Don't include point guard in that situation because I won't be there for that. In his career, he played in 671 games. This is fucking impressive from the playground here. 671 games. 28.9 minutes per per game 10.1 points per game so he broke the 10 points a game 2.8 rebounds 4.8 assists per game that's great great career even better the money he stacked $28,129,531. Shit.

Holy ballsack. What a lucky ducky. Not too fucking shabby, I have to say. That is not bad at all. And now he owns an island somewhere and a helicopter. I hope he saved his fucking money because he can just be like, this is great. I'll go play in the playground for the rest of my life and you guys can eat dicks, all of you. I'll build my own playground no shit and i'll fucking graffiti

paint it and do whatever i want to buy all the rest of the and one clothing oh everything that's still left somewhere in some store some does anyone still sell those do they still make i'm sure it's on amazon did you have any and one i had so much really so much i had a navy blue pair of shoes that were very nondescript i had the red and black shorts that had the fucking guy on the knee i had i had just plain black ones i had shirts what kind of a douchebag were you jimmy you were a douchebag you know what i'm gonna give you a lot of credit because i've called you a douche but you have come a long way you're not even close to as douchey as the person, the character you've described that was alive before I knew you.

My favorite outfit, James. My favorite outfit was a Carl Canai shirt. Oh, my God. That was black, and it said Canai across the chest in white. And then the black and red and white fucking and ones. For the love of Christ. With my fucking airworm low- top nike shoes all of it stolen god my last piece god with with with tommy hill figure uh uh boxer briefs watching fucking ufc

pay-per-views jesus christ almighty smoking pinners on my parents back fatty my god that was it was a very sad time wow that's no wonder i got robbed at gunpoint yeah you probably now that i think about it you probably deserved it i'm gonna be pretty honest with you it was the kid in those and the molesting too fuck you it was the kid in those nobody deserves to be as we said nobody does people are gonna be like that's terrible we talk to each other like this because we're like best friends so we can say anything we want and we'd say horrible things to each other and it's just funny and we rush right over it so don't worry about it clad in that uniform was laid face down on a pizza restaurant floor deservedly you're lucky you didn't get shot honestly because even a sane man would have been like you see this motherfucker fucking i'm putting one in the back

of his head i am putting one in the back of his head because this outfit's ridiculous fucking ridiculous unbelievable that was so 1998 jesus so january 26th 2011 alston signs another contract yeah so uh sister must be feeling better uh this time though it's with the zi zhang guan shua guan shua guan shua of the uh of the uh chinese basketball association well it says cba on my notes and i'm like that is certainly not the canadian or the continental basketball association that is a way different league so that's for the remainder of the season but But late February, uh, it's reported that he leaves the team without permission to attend a friend's funeral. And the team thought it was unlikely that he'd return because he'd been injured and

refused to see a doctor. So they're like, he's been injured. He hasn't been playing, refused to see a doctor. And he just leaves to go to a funeral without telling us this isn't great. Uh, so they tell him that you just stay over there around the fucking world just stay this isn't a fucking trip down the street we're good now you're if you stay where you are go home and we'll just keep china where it is he played eight games for them he averaged 19.2 points 3.3 rebounds 3.4 assists so it seems like he wasn't passing as much he's taking the ball to the rack i feel fucking it's funny too because like he should have been so much fucking okay if he doesn't do the

without the domestic assault it's all it's a much different case yeah you're looking at this and you're going he fucking got in a fight with some neighbors oh who knows if they were mouthing off to him over the stereo the thing in the nightclub is very shady i mean the dui the dui he was acquitted in court so i mean there's that uh you know the there's all sorts of like gray area and a lot of this and you know so you i don't know and also he's playing he's playing the way he plays too i don't know man i just feel bad for four chinese people trying to guard him. Yeah. They're like, what the fuck is this?

How does this work? I mean, I do. I feel not nearly as bad as I feel, Jimmy. For Rafer Alston. Yeah. A computer software professional. Where in China. No.

In Shenzhen City. This is not our Rafer Alston, either. I feel like this guy just heard the name Rafer Alston in a basketball game and just fucking changed it. He's like, I'm Rafer Alston now. He is in the China computer software. He worked as a Linux program for Fujitsu for two years. So that's how I know it's not our Rafer Alston. I don't think he was a Linux programmer.

He's like, you know what, man? I'm tired of these strip clubs and this NBA lifestyle. Know anything about Linux? You know what I could use? I could use a real nice decaf right about 8 a.m. And then program in Linux all day. Community college with a good Linux course I could take around here. Because I'm really interested.

No, that never fucking happened at all. Also, Rafer Austin, a ninth grader from Houston, Texas. Oh, that poor kid. Who plays basketball. His parents named him after him. This poor fucking kid. I'll bet it was that blogger. It probably was.

The blogger was like, you know what? He was a good dude. Fine. Damn it. He was. Now, August of 2011, Rafer is at Perfection Gentleman's Club, which is a strip club, in case you wanted to know. Never Perfection. Don't go to those ones.

This is July 2010. August 2011 is when it comes all public here. There's a guy named Eric Francischini. He's 32 years old. Where is he from? Milford, Connecticut. Again, the fuck back to where you come from. This is in Queens.

What are you doing in a strip club in Queens? Apparently, Alston is allegedly smashed this man in the head with a bottle during a dispute that started inside the strip club and spilled out into the streets. Oh, my God. Alston was not involved in the fight in the bar. Apparently, it was a big bar fight nobody and he wasn't involved but uh this guy's lawyer says that everybody went outside members of his entourage were involved and uh alston be uh because he was fast and light on his feet quote unjustifiably assaulted and beat his client uh that's what he

said which is uh sounds to me like he found out that rafer rafer has uh 30 million dollars probably uh the lawyer says quote my client had 12 staples in his head no he suffered a concussion he did not find out about millions of dollars no he might have got hit in the head yeah that's possible uh yeah the client i guess the guy immediately filed a police report uh alston wasn't arrested though for some reason uh but they all complained that an assault complaint had been filed against him but they said it was sealed and could not give out any information so this guy went to the police filed a report and they didn't even they didn't even talk to alston they didn't even fucking ask him about it the cops said it was sealed and we

can't give you any more information so in other words we brushed that under the rug and we can't tell you any more about it really there well yeah they said it's all over who knows they they just said it's a yeah it was a sealed complaint and they never served it and they were just like sorry not going to give out any more information wow because we don't have any so that's that's kind of uh shitty there little silver hair middle age action there uh the uh lawsuit seeks unspecified damages it says uh he lives in boca raton florida rafer by the way for now yeah he there then he did and the guy also sued the strip club for letting it happen yeah uh which yeah fight spills out in the street you gotta break that shit up man what happened 2012 alston signs with the los angeles defenders oh boy of the NBA D-League. The defenders are now the South Bay Lakers, who are a G-League team owned by the Los Angeles

Lakers. They're falling down. Yeah, they went down. They're like a soccer team there. The defenders here were the first. This is the first NBA franchise-owned D-League team. The Lakers started the defenders. Now they're the G-Fenders.. The Lakers started the Defenders. Now they're the G-Fenders.

Now they're the G-Fenders. Now they're the South Bay Lakers. Oh, that's right, yeah. Because when you've got a pun about the league you're in, and you get moved, you've got to fucking change your name. The D-Fenders, baby. The D-League. Wow, that's really fucking sad here.

That's a fucking stretch. October 28, 2017. What do you think happens fucking uh hall of fame i think we know that's not it take a guess what happens he got married no he had another baby it's professional oh it's professional yeah he uh finished college no he wasn't arrested oil he wasn't arrested he found oil in his pants no he did not find oil in florida uh he is hired as a scout by the minnesota timberwolves what why the fuck okay what the fuck does he know i love the way you said the fuck does he know that was the most honest you've ever been on this show that was the most genuine question you've ever asked me what the fuck does

he know i know as much about basketball as he does. One thing, if you go to kids, he might have some street cred, possibly. If he's got some kids from tough areas, he might be the scout that goes to kids in the shit neighborhood where he could be like, yo, I'm Skip to my Lou. Here's my mixtape. Is there a VHS player in this joint? No? Is there a VHS player in this joint? All? Is there a VHS tester for this motherfucker?

We'll see if it's on YouTube. Maybe Vimeo. I don't know. We'll find out. I don't know what the fuck's going on. Anybody got a fucking VHS? So, yeah. So, he's hired as a scout.

As far as I know, he still works as a scout for the Timberwolves. I'm not sure. What a terrible choice. That seems odd. It was less than a year ago, so I hope he still held the goddamn job. Can't get enough of Rafer Alston? Well, you can go to ecrader.com and get a signed 8x10 picture of him dribbling a basketball. Not even eBay?

Not even eBay. No, no. There's some shit on eBay. This was just cheaper. What is E-Crader? The internet fucking shithole of things. I don't know. What if I'd never heard of it before?

Here's a hole in the earth. We're going to pull some sports memorabilia out of it. I'm not sure if you should put your credit card information into it or not. I'm not sure. Use PayPal possibly. They might be a great company that I just don't know anything about. So I don't know. Don't take my word for it.

Don't link your credit card to your PayPal buy and ship from them. So $14.99 plus $6 shipping. $6 for a piece of fucking photograph, which seems a little steep. $6 to mail that? Yeah. Borek-customs.com. Give them your information even less. I don't know what that is.

You can get a knockoff Fresno State jersey, home or away, number 11, Rafer Alston, for $36.99. That's coming from China. That something is shady there. And if you want to go to get a shirt that you can actually put your information in with confidence,

you can go to Redbubble, which is a legitimate shirt site. They have a Skip to My Lou t-shirt. Awesome. Which is pretty fucking badass.

It's like the words are going down like Skip to My Lou and it's got like a picture. It looks like a Tupac shirt. It looks like

a fucking 90s rap Tupac shirt. It's actually pretty fucking badass. I like like a Tupac shirt. Bitchin'. It looks like a fucking 90s rap Tupac shirt. It's actually pretty fucking badass. I like it already. I haven't even seen it. You can get that there at Redbubble. And that, my friends, is Rafer's skip to my Lou Alston. What a story.

And his tale of coming from a place where you just want him to succeed and just fucking it up at every pass. Just fucking it up at every pass. Just fucking it up at every pass. What do you think those lawsuits and stuff cost him over his life? That's so much. That's what I mean. I mean, in time, in money. In time.

Lawyers. It's ridiculous. If you just hold it together. Yeah, just don't go to the strip club. I'll bet it's $2 million out of his pocket. It's got to be. Just call that shit. And I don't get it, because if you're going spend that much money anyway go do have a private something it's like say i'm going to back entrance and we're doing a private

thing and i don't want to deal with people because if someone bumps into me then my brother's gonna have to stab him in the neck or whatever the fuck it is i don't know crazy i won't even call my coaches when i'm mad no i'll just leave a stranger i'll just leave and yeah that's what i'm saying so i don't know man i'd say out of the fucking strip clubs. What is wrong with how many times over? I would love somebody if you had all the time in the world. If someone's like recovering, like in a body cast and they can only just write shit down a little bit on their phone or something. You listen to every crime and sports episode. I'd like to know how many incidents occurred at strip clubs that resulted in lawsuits and or arrests.

It's too much. It's it's fucking uncountable lawsuits and or arrests it's too much it's it's fucking uncountable and i bet it's hundreds i literally bet it's over a hundred times we've talked about this exact thing wait until this shit's over wait until this podcast is done and that number is going to go infinite it's going to go way up it's ridiculous way the fuck up by the way folks uh next couple weeks we have some some big ones coming up here. We have a bunch of murder next week. A whole bunch of murder happening.

An NFL player who was a murderous son of a bitch. Very, very murdery. So if you want to hear some crazy fucking murder story, I put up a light one this week. I mean, domestic assault isn't light, but smacking a guy in the head in a strip club and some fucking Guido from Milford, Connecticut or some fucking Long Island guy.

Whatever. It's a light, fun, whatever. Next week's murder. So it's going to get dark and twisty and pretty fucking fun. Oh, boy. And we have some wild ones coming up. People have asked us, what wrestlers are you doing? We got Scott Hall is going to be our next wrestler.

So you know that's going to be a fucking crazy episode. I had to pick between him. He's still drunk, isn't he? Oh, well, now, right this minute, he's okay. But he's had about five million good now, no, I'm not good now, no, I'm not in the last 20 years. I'm not even bullshitting. So who knows? Tune in next week and we'll find out.

I hope he's still got that curl. Oh, God. Hanging down his fucking face. And a new jack, of course, on there. Oh, yeah. Which is another tough one because god damn it it's just impossible not to like the fucking guy it's just one of these guys you can't this works hard and you don't want to talk shit because he'll stab you so it's another guy you should be very careful about

he's very committed because that's yeah not not really a character uh so much but uh thank you guys so much for listening again this week uh most of all if you want to be a help out to the show, you can do that very, very easily by going over to everywhere. Jesus, shut up and give me murder.com. You can follow the links to patreon.com slash crime and sports where you can donate money to us

or you can go over to PayPal. Use our email address crime and sports at gmail.com. Maybe you want to find us on Twitter at Crime and Sports. Facebook, Crime and Sports on there. At Small Town Murder on Instagram because we use that because it's more popular. Sorry. So if you want to do any of those things, do that.

Buy merch. Buy tickets to our goddamn live shows. Houston and Seattle and Phoenix especially because those are weak sellers right now. So buy those tickets, goddammit. Now, they're not weak sellers, but they're just big venues, so we need to sell them. They're huge. They're huge. So please get in there and buy those and all of that shit.

But I would like you right now, because there's a group of people who are the most spectacular people in the world who keep this show running and really keep us in business. And I believe you have the list, Jimmy. I do. I think you should hit me with it. Why don't you do that right now? This week's executive producers are Lori Mersich. Mersich.

Right off the bat. Milsich. Out of the gate strong. How could I do that? You're thoroughbred, Jimmy. I can't tell if I wrote an R or an L. I'm pretty sure that's an L. So I'm saying Lori Milsich.

Chrissy Ann Costaldi, of course. Thank you, Chrissy, as always. Amanda McPhail up in Seattle. She's wonderful. Thank you. Kyle Gross and Danria. Danria is his friend. I don't I don't I think I think she's friends with me on Snapchat.

Bullshit. Thank you. Thank you. Kevin Alker. Harold. No. Aaron Hammond. What?

Aaron Hammond. Joseph Minner. Meg Smith in Detroit. And Melissa Coyle. Thank you guys. Thank you so much for being such fantastic people. Yeah, honestly, you, Jesus, you guys don't even know. You make the world.

The life's blood. That's real. It's crazy. Thank you so much, really. Ashley Veo, Jesse Hartman, Kate Myers donated both ways. Wow, all those, they're all great. Justin Miller, Matthew Dietrich, Jess Herrera, Shannon Feltus. Again, she came through. Oh, yeah. Jessica

Manor, Michael, Michael Shanahan. I don't know. Maybe. Could it be? Could it be the eyes too close together? Franco Redskin head coach? Maybe. That would be amazing. Sarah, Sarah Reichert, Michael, Michael Carfunkel. Yes. Arianna Folsom, Justin Miller. I think I said that earlier. No, I didn't. That's a different Miller. That was Joseph Minner. That's what that was.

That's close. Jamie Parshall, Lauren Demerath, Nathan Nolte, Paul Ruest, the guy that makes the memes and shit. Thanks, Paul. He's fantastic. Travis Granberg, Kate Ives, Bryant Toole, Nina Jorenstad. Yes. Nina Jorenstad. Moto Fab. uh travis granberg kate ives uh bryant tool nina joran joran stout yes nina joran stout moto fab i don't know what that is google them and see if you can give them business uh william mcgote mcguffin yes william mcguffin uh stacy ruth ruff stacy rough stacy rushworth that's what it is sarah rush uh melissa Allen and Hiccup.

That's right. Oh, they're in L.A. That's the gal that came to the show. Her dog's name is Hiccup. That's what it is. Ah, yes. I wrote that. I don't know if she put that in there, but I know I wrote that, and I can't read.

Maria. No, Mariva. Mariva? Mariva Bone. Mariva Bone. That's what it is. Amy. Amy Walgie.

Walgie? Walge. Amy Walge jillian tuba mason sypes jake labir andrew paulson uh kiko omar white jr uh nice as a healthy healthy name that's a it's a good one yeah it's got a lot of names saving something later ethan lowry hannah marmoro uh liz nice slice smith what up well cakes i don't know i don't know what she's what she's bragging Ethan Lowry, Hannah Marmaro, Liz Nice Slice Smith. What? Cakes? I don't know what she's bragging about. Best pies in town? I don't know what's happening.

Maybe. She'll cut you. She's bragging, though. Maybe, yeah. Liz Nice Slice. Wendy Drinkwater, Ola Cernica. Cernica. Cernica. Cernica. Yeah.

You nailed it. Good work. It's an Italian name, that's why. What's the first name? CZ. Ola. Ola. Ola.

And CZ. Is that Italian? CZ. CZ is not. Okay. But there's other versions of that name. Whatever it is. It sounds similar.

Never mind. Walt Murray, the PI, I believe. CZ is like Polish and Czech. Right. Or Czech or something. Eastern European. I always go Czech because that's a CZ. Yeah, Eastern European somewhere.

Ethan Lowry, Oli Gray, Steve Schnell in Philly. Hey, yeah, scientist, a male scientist. Yeah, fantastic. He's awesome. Jeff Dalky, Denae Ryu. She could be Ryu. It sounds like a right winger for Montreal. she could be ryu it sounds like a right winger for montreal denae ryu uh kira kira mitchell uh chrissy chris no chris kirby uh serena daughter josh

cooperman uh cody spence angela jackson uh britney bell grantham williams or grantham it's probably grantham huh maybe maybe i don't grant ham it could be grantham that sounds good grantham sounds like a cool black college yeah it's like a really good black college like where dr huxtable went i could see that he went to grantham yeah it's a good school or it's or it's like a hard nose fucking football school either one we go to grantham yeah yeah you can fucking bring your team down i don't think you rambling state beats him up every year little buckaroo i forget who that is uh i don't either uh k overbay uh stephanie slaza uh paula paula salamana oh no sala salamanca that's

what hey yeah paula salamanca that's italian that's italian yeah i like it uh zoe suntimer uh martin martin coronado uh had some questions us. I think I answered them pretty well. We'll see. He'll write back. I'm sure we'll figure it out. Krista Bernhard or Bernard. It's probably Bernard. Yeah, I don't know. Anthony and Kelly Scalarud.

Anthony and Kelly Scalarud are getting married. I think that's what they said. Well, or anniversary or they're celebrating something. Well, either way. Good for the two of you. Or they're getting a divorce, whatever, whatever. If as long as you guys are happy, we're excited. That's what matters to me.

Thank you guys so much for everything you do for us. We truly cannot do this without you. Thank you so much, everybody. Honestly, we cannot thank you enough for everything you do for us. It means the world to us and it blows us away every time. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Just amazing. And Jimmy, what if they wanted to tell you that you were amazing or not amazing or anything at all? What could they tell you? You can tell me mostly the bad things. At Wisman Sucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks on Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat. Thank you guys so much for everything you send me. And for the gifts that you guys send us in the mail. Oh, they're amazing.

Thank you so much, guys. Thank you so much. We really appreciate it. What about you? Oh, you can find me at Jimmy P is funny. You could do that or just copy and paste my name from the show description because you're not going to be able to spell it. And really, honestly, why try?

We don't have the time to learn long Italian last names. Get your shit together. I didn't learn it till I was fucking five and a half. It was a difficult journey. You don't need to do it. So I'm just going to write rigatone. You're just going to write. Yeah, you're just you're just going to write Pinot Grigio and move on.

Just stop it. It's not Pomegrante. It's fine. That said, thank you guys so much. Live from the Crime and Sports Studios, we will see you next week. Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.