Crime in Sports - #136 - Road House Thunderdome - The Precipitousness of Harold Howard

Episode Date: October 23, 2018

This week, we explore the winding path of insanity with a man who was a champion in his sport. He was a pioneer of what is now a major sports entity. He was also a lunatic, who seemed to lose his mind, all at once, and sink into the quicksand of crimes, and irrationality. This all culminates with one crazy night, that leaves a family shattered, a hammer bloodied, and casino in dire need of some reconstruction. Buckle up for a crazy one!!Become a national champion fighter, judge make up way too harshly, and hit your sister with a hammer with Harold Howard!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.comGo to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!Contact us on...twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. Each week on the Mr. Ballin Podcast, now available wherever you get your podcasts, you'll hear strange, dark, and mysterious stories about inexplicable encounters, shocking disappearances, true crime cases, and everything in between. So go listen to Mr. Ballin Podcast, Strange, Dark, and Mysterious Stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports. Yay! Yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I am Jimmy Wissman.

Thank you, folks, so much for joining us on another wild, crazy... I'm going to get into the death-defying and all that, but this is just a really interesting episode. This is what Crime and Sports is all about, guys. It's funny. We always say we're crime and sports, and our new thing, what are we saying? All of the crime, some of the sports. Always crime, sometimes sports.

This one, it's just a story of a... He's almost like a mythical creature, this guy. It's just hilarious. He's a ginger with a mullet. It's amazing. It's fantastic. It's MMA. We're fantastic. Well, it's MMA. We're into the brain damage sports.

So, I mean, you know we're going to have some fun with this. The last ginger MMA fighter was a blast. I'm telling you. They're always going to be fun. Anybody who's been hitting the head a lot is always going to be a fun Grimey Sports episode. And we're going to get into that in one second here. Thank everybody, first of all, for the iTunes reviews this week, Apple Podcasts. Thank you.

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Fuckers anyway, James. Yeah, Jesus. If you want to be even more of a friend to the show you can do that very easily you can go to shut up and give me murder.com you can get shirts and mugs and bath mats and towels and any other damn thing you want to get over there uh all sorts of stuff other things you can get are tickets to live shows live small town murder shows all throughout this uh fall and winter here so please get those uh thank you they're almost gone they're almost they are almost gone the cold weather cities you

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you right to it. No confusion. None of that crap. Easy peasy. Easy peasy. Quick small town murder note, by the way. Seattle that last week. Thank you. Thank you, everybody who came to Portland, by the way. Awesome show in Portland. You guys were the best. Seattle,

we had to reschedule the show till April. Not our fault. It was a venue thing and they wanted to move us to a venue that didn't have any goddamn chairs.

And I'm telling you right now, we would have rather not had a show right then. Not necessarily the venue wanted to move us, but the team that organized everything. Yeah, the whole people

who aren't us, basically, wanted to move us to a... The indication was let's go to, the whole people who aren't us, basically, wanted to move us to it. The indication was, let's go to a smaller place. And it wouldn't have been comedy. We would have had to have multiple shows. So you guys still would have been screwed. Because maybe you might have had to go to a 10 o'clock show if you want to go to an 8 o'clock.

So it wouldn't have worked out. And the venue wasn't up to snuff for you guys. It just wasn't. So we nixed it. And so we apologize, in april uh if you have any problem with ticket master let us know and we'll hit them up too because i know a couple people had problems getting refunds and whatever if the move your tickets i don't know do it up uh the show in phoenix is november 3rd at stand up live right so please get your tickets for that

that's a big deal that's going to be a great show it's a saturday night let's let's rock that out early too early show seven o'clock on a sat Saturday night. Let's rock that out. Early too. Early show. 7 o'clock on a Saturday night. No excuses. Get the hell out there. Just so you know, people don't get those shows. No, no. That's a good stuff. It's tough to get that one. Yeah, that's a good spot. So yeah, we need you guys to come through and show them that we're

worthy of that spot, which I think we are. God damn right. Let's do that. And I think that's about... Oh, no, it's not. God forbid we go forward. Have you checked Twitter? I've gotten... I woke that's about. Oh, no, it's not. God forbid. Have you checked Twitter? I've gotten I woke up to, I don't know, 800,000 tweets about Ray. Yes. Thank you for the Ray Carruth updates, by the way.

Ray Carruth is out of prison. Yes. This is kind of a full circle moment for crime and sports. This is our first and our very first scumbag is taking his first steps out of the joint. So it's we're feeling proud. Papa's right now. He's taking his first steps out of the joint so it's we're feeling proud papas right now he's taking his first steps out and we're like oh look at him going maybe he'll maybe he'll almost kill another child or maybe another pregnant woman you never know you sky's the limit really his potential his potential is is it's there and he's gonna fulfill it i love

that he went in and he was bald because that's how he wanted to be yeah and now he's out he's got no that's fucking it he's bald he has a bad head he's bald because he's 50 that's the thing now bald because he's an older gentleman that's why his head looks like he's just been sleeping for the past 20 years probably has trying to sleep this nightmare away but you know what at all man you know a baby like like an real estate agent. You got to roll them all the time when they're sleeping. Otherwise, their head will get. Yeah. The skull will shape.

Nobody rolls him. Nobody rolls. No roller in prison. That's the problem with prison. Prisoners complain all the time. He looks terrible. Never mind that. Let's talk about this guy.

I don't even know how to classify this guy. Is idiot or asshole? He's not really an asshole he's kind of hilarious um in a way this is our gentleman this week uh he's sort of an idiot but i don't know if i'd really classify him as he's just an interesting fellow let's just say and a bit of a mess and uh it's all fine until it just all falls apart at one point we'll talk about that let's get into him it's all fine until it just all falls apart at one point. We'll talk about that. Let's get into him. It's Harold Clarence Howard. Harold Howard is his name. Yes.

Harold Howard. Harold Howard. That's not a good name. Those names are interchangeable. He was just called Howard Harold, and everybody would be like, yeah, that makes sense. You could probably slip that by him, and he probably wouldn't notice it for a while. You know what I mean? He'd be like, are you calling?

Wait. What'd you say? My name's... Takes out his license be like, are you calling? Wait. What'd you say? My name's, my name's. Takes out his license. No, Harold. No, you're backwards. I thought you confused me even. It sounds like they're interchangeable.

H names are tough for dudes. There aren't many that are good. No. And Harold and Howard. Those are not two of them. They're bad together. And I had to remember it because A comes before O. So H-A is H-O.

So I'm like, okay, Harold is before Howard. Otherwise, I would have called him Howard Harold through the course of this thing. And his middle name is Clarence, which isn't a good name for anybody. So when you mix those names with Clarence, it really, really, really had no chance in this world, if we're being realistic here, to be anything but on our show, really he's from he's canadian oh he's a he's a big beefy canadian he's uh yeah great he's six foot two 240 pounds he grows up to be just uh on canadian bacon and just a diet of back fat it's very nice the canadians are storied as being nice that's not oh yeah yeah that name is

fucking that's vicious that's a cold-blooded name that's really not a nice name he's from niagara falls so it's close to the states but he sounds like he is from just he sounds like he's from the great white north like he is he is deep deep into saskatchewan i feel like he's into there is just he has a moose for a pet. He sounds very Canadian, which makes it even funnier. Takes it for a walk. Absolutely. It's on a leash. He doesn't even need a leash.

He's got some sort of horse thing with it. He just calls it over. He just calls it over. Come on, buddy. He comes a-walking like it's the Old West. A-walking. A-trotting over. This guy, like I said said he's from niagara falls he just he's kind of a tough guy he's just a tough guy uh as a teenager he's a bouncer uh as a teenager as a teenager he's a bouncer at the blackhawk motor inn which is a uh

what he's a bouncer at the hotel the hotel back then though uh because he's born in 1958 so he's a teenager this is the mid-70s every hotel had bars in them back then too pre like dui being a big deal you could just get alcohol anywhere and get shit-faced and go drive home that's just the way it was in the 70s the duis were just not that big of a deal it was considered like an adult skill learning how to drive while you're shit-faced was like oh what are you a fucking pussy you can't drive when you're shit faced close an eye put an arm behind what's wrong with you yeah have a mint fucking splash some water on your face and we're not saying that's now how you should but that's back then how people were it was just like it wasn't considered like a like yeah obviously you drive how else you gonna get

your car home that was the thing you pulled over you put a penny in your mouth, and the cop won't smell it. That's the rule. Yeah. And now every hotel has a bar. It's just like nobody goes to a hotel that they're not staying at. But this was in a town called Richmond Hill in Ontario. So I think in a small Canadian town, wherever the booze is, people are just going to gather. And go hang at the roadway.

And get disciplined by teenagers, apparently. apparently yeah you can't even drink motherfucker it told what's what by his by a kid some dude who's halfway through puberty pulls his head out of his algebra book to tell you to fucking pipe down by a virgin pardon me excuse me sir a kid that just came in a sock is telling me to put down my my jaeger meister pardon me has a lady's mouth ever touched your penis that's the question i'd like to ask you or any adult's mouth i'll put it that way i don't care whatever the fuck you're into but but uh yeah has anyone no okay is another human beings no no right then voluntarily by the way you have to write uh what period and the teacher's name under your name on that paper. Yeah.

Leave me alone. Leave me the fuck alone. Yeah. Don't you have school in the morning, Sonny? But the thing is, he was into fighting and he was like a karate master and a jujitsu champion and all this shit, too. So even from a young age of being a teenager, if you're just a bunch of there's just a bunch of drunk yokels in a bar and you actually know how to fight a little bit. You're gonna be able to throw people out. Even if you're a teenager, you're going to be able to do something.

Especially drunks. Yeah, especially drunks. If you see drunks are terrible fighters. I was a bouncer for a couple of years. They're awful fighters. They telegraph their punches. I used to taunt people to get them to throw punches at me so we could beat the shit out of them. And he and they would telegraph punches. you could see him from a mile away it'd be like i felt like muhammad ali in

there because you could wait you could wait till it was halfway at you before you'd move to and be like that was fucking pathetic then they get even madder and then like four fat guys would tackle him and it would be great and toss him outside oh you shouldn't have done that i mean so that was fun it's that drunk wobble that ruins everything you You don't have gravity is not a good thing when you're drunk. It really ruins your whole evening. Plus changes everything. You feel bigger, but you are slower. That's why you drive poorly, because your reaction time isn't the same.

When you're throwing a punch to it, it's a very slow motion affair for a sober person. And your center of gravity is off once it moves just a smidge you gotta you gotta realign and when your car's suspension drifts a little bit that's why that's why you over correction so you hit trees and you over correct on your feet that's a drunks fall from over correction they stumble a little and they go the other way and fall the fuck over you i've watched it happen and over they go yeah and by the way we had not that i think it's okay to just beat the shit out of people that wasn't what i was saying these people were complete assholes who were like fucking grabbing women's asses and trying to start fights with people and being complete assholes

around the bar and you'd be like he needs to get bounced on the concrete a couple times and thrown outside maybe he won't be an asshole next time. So, you know, that was the point. Or he's going to go piss somebody's bed, and that's no fun. That's no fun either, yeah. Or she's going to go piss somebody's bed, in your case. So age 17, he begins kind of his formal training in jujitsu with a guy named Steve Reynolds. I'm sure he's a Canadian guy who fights very well.

A Canadian guy who could kick my ass is basically what we're going to call him. Other than that, I don't know. Harold ends up moving to Niagara Falls and proper, I guess, in like 1983. And he starts teaching karate and Jiu-Jitsu at the James Morden School and at the YMCA. Okay. So he's a big strapping Canadian guy with a big bright red goatee and a bright red mullet teaching you some karate at the YMCA. All the great fighters come from the Y.

All the great fighters come from the Y. Absolutely. I'd like to know how many real fighters have come from the Y. I don't know. Probably some. There's probably a few. I'm sure. Yeah.

But if this guy was to, when you walked in, you'd be like, whoa, look at this fucking guy. Like, maybe not in the 80s in Canada because in Canada,

mullets were cool until like three weeks ago. So, no offense, Canada, but you're, it's the farther north you go up and I get on the border in Toronto.

We're not counting you guys and shit, but like Vancouver. Up there, you know it's it's kind of like nebraska here travel slow some shit takes a while to get there you know what i mean there's people going around going john o'milly vanilli wasn't singing they're literally in nebraska right now i just heard that i heard them boys wasn't singing now i like that song came out last year just slightly behind blame it on the rain yeah something that's a good song i like that

and now they're telling me that they ain't singing i don't think that's right and and the mullet up there is more of a it's a functional piece of hair well it's gonna because it keeps it warm it's gonna stop the cold you you have a hat for the top of your head so that doesn't need to be long but that neck the nape that neck you know you're uncomfortable with a scarf you're gonna want that neck cover that neck flap and you know, you're uncomfortable with a scarf. You're going to want that neck cover, that neck flap. And, you know, that's a layer, James. You throw a scarf over that. You're going to be warm.

Now you're going to be sweating. Technically, it's a layer. It's true. The Canadian layering system, mullet, scarf, hood. So that's a three-tiered defense system against the back of your neck, starting with a thick layer of mullet. Very nice, Canada. You guys have worked it all out for yourselves. You're in a cold environment, and you're going to figure it out.

I'm very proud of you. So this, Jesus Christ, this red mullet trying to karate fight people coming at you. This is amazing. Well, I guess Chuck Norris had a red mullet. For a while, yeah. I mean, he's tough. It's still kind of red, isn't it? He's not as pudgy as this guy.

That's the thing. Chuck Norris looks like Steely. This guy looks like he could out-drink you, definitely. He looks like he could just drink you under the table, beer-wise. You'd be like, oh, I'm not. He's going to fuck shot. I'm not going to drink for a drink with this one. No, no, no.

He's the type of guy who puts shots into beers. Oh, no. That type of guy. I just drink them like that. Otherwise, it takes me all night to get drunk. hands yeah he's two fisted i gotta do two motions yeah that drunk he looks like a guy who would be like real popular kind of kind of run the truck stop is what he looks like he like he's like an over-the-top side character who lost in the arm wrestling tournament in the second round the guy that drinks the motor oil that's him it's around there yeah he was bald i think no no he had a head hair i'm very disappointed by the way we made a couple over the top references in our live shows and uh

i am excessively disappointed in the number of you people who have not seen over the top fucking shame on you yeah shame on you find it it's out there watch it it's everybody likes bad movies people everybody's seen the room and all that you've not seen shit until you've seen over the top do you understand this was some foreigner director who who had to like hound sly down for years begging him to do this movie offering him more and more money to the point where sly was like this is ridiculous yeah sure i'll do it no going to see it. This lunatic's making a piece of shit. It's like 20 million bucks. I'll take it.

And then they make this amazing movie about an arm wrestling truck driving dad who cares about his son. And takes him across the country in a big ring. Takes him across the country and argues with Robert Logen, fights Terry Funk,

and arm wrestles bald guys. It's fucking amazing. There's gay overtones to it it's really really a good movie and the best part my favorite is just the switch when he's really got oh yeah the hat going backward that's when he's a bad man like a machine like a truck he's got to turn it on he's got to turn it on that's what he means business right there it's so good har Harold opens a school here. It's Action Karate and Jiu-Jitsu Center.

Action. Oh, okay. So Action. Action Karate and Jiu-Jitsu Center. Centrae, because it's Canada, of course. So center is spelled in Canadian English. I guess also it was called Niagara Fighting Fitness and Martial Arts also. I guess also it was called Niagara Fighting Fitness and Martial Arts also.

And in 1984, he was a coach and a trainer, and he had students among the top people around in these things. So he was a good teacher, and things were looking good for him in 1984. He's in his mid-20s, so he's considered a badass, and he's teaching all these people. So life was looking good for him. This is an upswing. We're yodeling was looking good for him. This is an upswing. We're yodeling up the mountain right now. This is yodeling. He's going up.

You're 299. No, he's still going. So it's pretty good. I was watching the prices right on the plane coming home from Seattle. I was praying. I saw it on there and I was like, come on. And then when I got to it, it was just the showdown at the end. Showcase showdown. This is bullshit.

You didn't even get Plinko. Fuck this game. No Plinko, no yodeling. I don't even care who wins at this point. I hope you both lose. I like when it would be like a 50-year-old lady from the Midwest trying to hit a fucking 35-foot putt. I was like, she's not hitting that putt.

Just not happening. I guarantee you, she's not hitting that putt just not happening i guarantee you she's not hitting that but she's like oh golf you know when you do that though you have to as in 1984 this was too as you get the prices right you get closer and closer to the hole right isn't that how it goes yeah yeah you get to take it from so if you get all the prices right it's like a two foot it's a two foot putt it's a gimme it's a gimme But if you don't get shit, you got to be like fucking Tiger Woods out there to drop that shit. Yeah, it's not okay. Not good at all. I want that game back.

And I want like the closest to be 20 feet with like a tourney green and everything. Like a miniature windmill and shit going through. Fuck yeah. I want a clown's mouth and a falling building. As a child, did you have a strategy for all your prices right games no i had a strategy of how i was going to win them all i did because i'd be watching me like all right you're going to do that i seriously if i ever played the prices right i had i had a fucking lockdown strategy where i had figured out the game in every single one of them i thought so

anyway a friend of mine i worked when i worked at the olive garden the hostess yeah the host he was a gay man i don't know what you call the host. It's a host, right? He's a man. Does he go as a man? I don't know. He identifies as a man. I don't know what he goes as because he wore questionable things.

He was a great dude, though, and he knew every price to everything on the price is right. And he would go out there once a month and he finally he took he'd take all his friends with him yeah it was his thing wow and his white whale his friend got on the show and he'd fucking telegraphed the prices to her she won oh my god she got the showcase showdown she won and he won the most uh exuberant guest ever they did like those stupid reviews and he was like out there jumping on the bed doing jumping jacks and running around the fucking set and then he got his chance and he had forgotten a price or something i think he either way he didn't fucking win even to get to the show

meanwhile he helped somebody win like forty thousand dollars worth of prizes poor fuck he got nothing out of that probably, too. He was so great. God damn it, I wish I remembered his name. He was such a nice dude. But I don't know. Andrew. That's probably it.

Let's call him Andrew. I don't know. Seems like a good name for a host. I want to give him credit for winning the best, most exuberant. Well, yeah, look that up. It was when Barker was still the host. Oh, good, good. That's when he wanted to go.

It wasn't really the Price is Right after Barker left. Barker was there. Barker. When it was Barker, that's the Price is Right after Barker left. Barker was there. When it was Barker, that's the Price is Right. That's when you want to be there. I give a shit about Skinny Drew Carey. It's like being on The Tonight Show after Johnny Carson left. Skinny Drew Carey is a freaky looking man. It's not good.

Him and Skinny Al Roker should really go off together. Just start eating, fellas. Get to put themselves on an iceberg and push out to sea we're sorry we can't we're we're not used to this and we don't care for it we're sorry can't take it you're both a lot of people love you and everything and we have all of your things on film for decades and we'll keep watching it but we can't have this i'm sorry fatten up and come back yeah so uh yeah so uh. So, 1984, Harold, on the other hand, is the first Canadian heavyweight sport jujitsu champion. Okay.

And he represented Canada in the first world jujitsu championships that were sanctioned by the World Council of Jujitsu Organizations, the WCJO, which is, in my opinion, the most prestigious, one of the most prestigious one of the most prestigious organizations on the face of the earth when they don't go together no that board you can't you can't uh do you call that the whack joe like you know what i mean when they call it yeah when there's no actually pronounce it all yeah yeah well there's no there's no word for this at all yeah there's none of that it's horrible it's the wook joe yeah the wook joe the the wick joe they probably call it the wick joe i bet there's some shit like. It's horrible. It's the Wook Joe. Yeah. The Wook Joe. The Wick Joe. They probably call it the Wick Joe, I bet, or some shit like that.

You've got to sound it out, but it sounds terrible. It sounds fucking terrible. You're not going to call it the World Council of Jiu-Jitsu Organizations. That's a little much in one deal here. And the J signifies two fucking words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's too much. At least they didn't say the WCJJ. Because that would have been way too fucking much.

Like, we get it. Okay? Okay, we understand. The 1984 World Championships from these World Council of Jiu-Jitsu Organizations. He was a member, Harold was, of the gold medal winning heavyweight Canadian team. Really? For Jiu-Jitsu. Yeah, and he also wins the individual World Heavyweight jujitsu championship in the men's heavyweight

fighting division. All right. So he's a dude that knows what he's doing. Yeah. Now, this is obviously the 80s. So this is a it's developed into a whole different thing now. It's a competition then is not what it is today. No, no, no, no, no.

How many how many jujitsu places do you think there was in a city in 1984 i mean probably not a lot i would think whereas now they're in every fucking strip mall every they've replaced the karate studio of the 80s which was the karate place is now the brazilian jujitsu place the same shit the ufc has opened up gyms that pretty much oh yeah develop everything yeah so there's no reason to go to a karate place or's all one thing which is i think the problem is which i why i maybe find mma boring and ufc boring is it used to be in the beginning the whole point of it was let's see what happens when you put a fucking wrestler in with a kickboxer that'll be fucking weird it's like let's see what happens if we put a lion and a fucking and you

know and a fucking condor in the same room and we'll see which one comes out on top they're very different one's pecking one's biting let's see i figured like that's what the beginning of it was to see who would win in these different styles and then they were like well a lot of those fights are ugly and boring so they've developed this you know what it is now mixed martial arts that's not i don't know it's just not not the same. I enjoyed it before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really liked that. And these fights that this guy was in, like, because he's, this guy's back in the beginning

of UFC. He fights in UFC 3. Really? So this is before they had gloves. Yeah. And before they were in a cage, they were in a goddamn, in this like an open ring with no gloves. It was just two dudes fighting.

The only rule was like no eye gouging. That's what I mean. It was just two dudes whomping only rule was like no eye gouging that's what i mean it was just two whatever two dudes whomping the shit out of each other bare-fisted so this was entertainment because you know the fights don't last that long that's the thing about bare fists yeah you don't take a lot of them to the head they fucking hurt they really really hurt it doesn't take a long time not just the face receiving it but the hand delivery everything yeah so you're not going to pound away for five rounds on somebody bare-fisted this It doesn't take a long time. Not just the face receiving it, but the hand delivering. Oh, everything. Oh, God, does that hurt much more.

So you're not going to pound away for five rounds on somebody barefisted. Neither of you are going to survive. That's the thing. And we'll talk about a fight that goes long distance later on. And both the guys are like half dead afterwards. And that's when they used to have to fight three fights in a night to win a tournament. You'd have to fight and win three bare-fisted fucking fights in one evening to win a tournament and possibly go the distance in all of them you know who knows yeah who the fuck knows it's crazy it's crazy so uh he wins the uh 84 the individual like i said world

heavyweight jujitsu championship and the gold gold medal winner of the men's heavyweight fighting division so uh pretty badass uh In addition to that, Canada. In Canada, he is just a karate wizard up there. I think he just stopped. He captured the... He's a Canadian heavyweight karate champion in 1982, 1983, and 1984. My Christ.

I feel like at that point, he's just like, I got nothing else more to prove. Well, once 84 rolls around, you're like, three years in a row? I think I just proved that I'm... I just three-peated. need for i'm gonna retire he's like elway he's like i'm retiring on top thank you very much i'm good you guys understand yeah you get it i know i could probably maybe do it again but i'm good thanks i'm gonna quit while i'm ahead are we still gonna do this tournament because obviously i'm gonna win yeah and then call it a day yeah sir and then

also that's gonna give you better teaching credentials because you're gonna say i'm the three-time right you know i never got beat three three times straight champ uh you know i got bored with it just three straight times so one i mean you can argue that maybe it was a fluke two it's pretty convincing but three three in a row i'm dominant guys yeah i'm a badass either i'm cheating or i'm fucking the best one of the two so what do you think So what do you think? Yeah. You think I'm riding this mullet? I don't think so.

This is where I get my power. Right. He's Canadian Ginger Sampson. That's what he is. So he also wins the World Heavyweight Jiu-Jitsu Championship in 1983 and 1985. Now, I don't know what the difference between that and the World Council of Jiu-Jitsu. I don't know what the difference between any of these organizations are because none of them probably exist anymore because this is from almost 40 years ago. This is the beginnings of something that's morphed into something completely different. So who the shit knows?

He was also a member of the Canadian National Jiu-Jitsu Team in 86 and 87. I assume that's when he won the Jiu-Jitsu gold medal. Okay. He's a black belt in all sorts of shit and uh we're the people are going to tweet at us and go well a black belt in this we get it we're going by what we're told we're not experts in any of these disciplines and we don't even less we don't care exactly at all oh boy do i not care we don't care so please don't explain to us the different degrees of black belt. We honestly couldn't care less about anything else on the fuck.

No offense. We get that you're into it. That's awesome. Sure, I'm into shit you're not into, but we don't want to know about. I'm not going to tweet at you and tell you my shit. That's the difference. Champion just fucking doesn't matter what level he's at. He's the best.

He's pretty fucking good at stuff. If he's an orange belt and he's the fucking champion, make him whatever the top belt is now. Yes, that. That's it. You got it. He's a third degree black belt, and I don't know how to pronounce this at all. See, that's the problem now. The word Ryu is in there like the Street Fighter guy.

It's Goju-Ryu. G-O-J-U-R-Y-r-y-u goju right i don't know what the fuck it is they say the wikipedia says it's it's japanese for hard soft style which sounds like fucking but sounds like a very very sought after way of fucking but i don't know so is is japanese like opposite like like spanishes so i think i just want to know what is ryu the soft part or is that the hard but it might not mean there might not be direct representation you mean style that they might not even mean that those words together might mean that oh yeah because the symbols mean different

dude it's we don't know anything about Japanese at all. I know. Nothing. I know they make excellent sushi. They do. They're pretty good at that. Their cuisine is fantastic. It seems like a cool country I'd like to visit, Japan. Plus, I want to be really tall and be fun over there.

I want to go to countries where everybody is just average, on the average short, and I just want to walk around and feel like a giant. Because now it's annoying enough as it is, but I still... it's like I can't fit in anything but there's still people my size yeah there I can't fit in anything and I can really take advantage of it and be a freak and as much as you like complain like here you can complain and commiserate with somebody yeah like over there you would be the only one and you just be screaming at tiny people who don't speak my language at all that big is that big man doing that? I don't understand.

Why is he throwing his suitcase, calling this place a dump? I can't. This isn't Boston, mister. Oh, man. So this hard soft style is one of the, according to Wikipedia, this is, like I said, don't fucking tweet at me. I don't care. It's one of the main traditional

Okinawan styles of karate, which makes me think it's what Pat Morita was teaching Ralph Macchio and the Karate Kid because I know from part two that that shit is a no. He's from Okinawa, everything's all Okinawan, so I think this is possibly it. So in this style, I believe this Howard Howard,

or Harold Howard, or whatever the fuck his name is, is really good. He took one of those little drum things with the ball on it, and he twisted it back and forth, and he figured out how to pummel with both hands, which didn't look like a good move at all in part two. That's how you win the fight, by just putting your hands together like an ax and pummeling this guy.

Nice technique. That's a drunk move. That's a drunk move. That's literally like, I can't throw. That's a desperation move. No, that was not a good move at all but that all the technique that was back and forth but that was the move uh it would be like if he took a beer bottle out of his pants and cracked him up that's essentially what a drunk doesn't have the bottle yeah it's just the okinawan beer bottle smash that's what what it is. It's a very complicated move.

Didn't Mr. Miyagi, like, he pulled that out in the corner and he started doing it? I think he showed him it before. The girl broke it out, I think. The girl, the Okinawan chick that he was trying to bang broke it out, and Miyagi was there, and everybody started doing it because it's like Rocky in Rocky IV now, even though he's the foreigner and everybody was against him in the beginning. Now they like him because this other guy was—it's not wrestling. The other guy's not such a bad guy.

In a sport like that, that doesn't happen. You never see a crowd turn. You'll see them like a guy if he's got spunk or whatever, but they're not going to boo the guy they liked to begin with to cheer for him. Anyway, that's the equivalent of their fucking NBA Thunder sticks. Yeah. Christ Anaheim.

The worst invention ever. We don't like to be loud, so we're just going to use these things. Yelling is just, it hurts our voice. But then if I stop, my feet kind of hurt and I don't really want to do that. I'm going to bang these plastic bubbles together.

They gave them to us when we came in, so it must be what they want. They stay mattress firm on them. You like my monkey? Anyway. God, I hate the fucking angels for that shit. This is the most annoying. All right, never mind. Back to Canadian 80s karate, okay?

What's important here in life? Let's get back to what's important. All right. Canadian karate from the mid 80s let's do this so uh uh this this it says it's a it's a combination of hard and soft techniques quote this is from wikipedia quote both principles hard and soft come from the famous martial arts book the bark book used by okinawan masters during the 19th and 20th centuries, the Bubishi. It's pronounced the Kama Sutra. Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

Hard and soft style. And it breaks down, actually. Go means hard, and then ju means soft, and then I don't know what ryu means. I assume style. So there you go. So ryu from Street Fighter, his name is style. That's stupid. I don't know. Is that supposed to be a cool name, like an 80s name?

That was the fucking friend from Teen Wolf, wasn't it? Styles. Yeah, the one who rode on top of the van. Close enough. Yeah, Styles. Styles is fantastic. The wolf rode on top of the van, obviously. Styles would have fell off.

He's not a wolf. Obviously, wolves are known. First of all, dogs are terrible at standing up in cars never mind on top of cars so that was the dumbest thing they could have done to show his wolfly balance was the fact that he can ride on top of a car not impressive and not not true at all he would have they were two feet and he would have just and then fell over and then fallen off the truck if it was a real dog. And then thumped and then hit by a milk truck and the movie's over. That would have been it. That would have been a good fucking movie.

That would have been a good Teen Wolf right there. Because dogs are terrible. Dogs like Old Yeller. You could drive to the end of your driveway with your dog standing up in the back seat and it's like, holy shit, it's like there's a fucking 8.5 earthquake going on. They can't stand up at all he's up there like he's surfing it the fuck out of here and dogs are known for their surfing which is what i love it makes no sense why does why does he just be gifted with with all kinds of

athletic talent as a dog like dogs don't wolves are known right they're known for their indoor sports abilities now you get a wolf outside, like on a football field, soccer, they're garbage. But anything indoors, table tennis, basketball, anything like that, they're just going to dominate it. It's a weird thing. It's strange. It's just in their genetics. Everybody knows that, Jimmy. Jesus.

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and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show, Business Wars. We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time. And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin,

then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from Smartless Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'll learn that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink rollercoaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or

wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Pretty much everything that Michael J. Fox would then post back to the future is garbage. I mean, except for Doc Hollywood. I mean, obviously. Well, let's, come on, Jimmy. I mean, obviously. Well, let's... Come on, Jimmy. I was going to say, are you forgetting Doc Hollywood? That's a great movie.

So he's got two great movies. Outside of that, he's not... Yeah, good guy. I feel bad for him. All the Back to the Future. Yeah, those are great. He was on Family Ties, but that was a pile of shit. I watched that crap when I was eight.

It was terrible. I liked Mallory as a kid, though. I think so. I think I did. It's a dark one, right? Yeah, that's the darker girl. I when I was eight. It was terrible. I liked Mallory as a kid, though. I think so. I think I did. It's a dark one, right? Yeah, that's the darker girl. I thought she was cool. Not like I liked her, because I was a little kid.

She was too old. But I thought she would be like a cool older sister. She seemed like a cool older sister, I always thought. She seemed like the girl. She's pretty cool. Nick seems all right. He seems like he'd come over, teach you how to make shit out of garbage. That looks like fun.

She seems like the girl that when you're 15 and she's 19 smoking weed, she tell you to go the fuck away yeah that's not a cool sister kind of i had an aunt like that it was only nine years older than me and she was always like smoking cigarettes in her closet she told me to go away i thought she was pretty cool for that honestly i like her style she doesn't need me around i like that didn't work did it no no i stayed away from her yeah but my cousin jesse didn't he got tied up with bandanas one time, which was pretty fucking funny. He did. Terrible. And I went downstairs and told my grandmother.

I was like, Grandma, Grandma. I was like five. I was like, Grandma, Grandma. She tied, she tied. I won't say her name because that's kind of embarrassing, even though she's super sweet and nice now. You know, when she was 15, it wasn't as nice. So I said, Grandma, she tied up Jesse, and he's up there tied to the chair.

And she looked at me and she said, but what the hell do you want me to do about him? You tell her I said to stop doing that. And that was it. I was like, but that's not going to do anything. Now he's still stuck, Grandma. You need to be. She's like, but get out of here. And I ran away.

I was like, okay, never mind. And I just left Jesse up there. He's still there today. He's still. It's very sad. He's a little tiny skeleton that we still just call Jesse. It's very, very sad. Just a little tiny one.

So he ends up with all of doing all of these different. He's just into every kind of damn fighting you can imagine. Whatever. He likes to kick people and punch people and be punched and kicked as well. Hard and soft. Hard and soft. Yeah. He's ladies.

Hard and soft with that mullet flowing in the wind. Oh, never a cold neck on this guy. Never. Never. At some point, he marries a woman in flowing in the wind. Ooh, never a cold neck on this guy. Gentlemen. Never. At some point, he marries a woman in here in the 80s. He marries a woman named Elise, I guess is her name, A-L-Y-S-E. I'm going to go with Elise on that one. Okay.

You think? Yeah. Also, during the 80s, he has a back surgery during about 87, and he gets real into painkillers, both pre and post back surgery. He gets super into painkillers at this point because he's hurt. So, I mean, that's most people who get who are really into pills, not all of them, but most people who are really into pills start taking them for a reason. That's the thing.

People start taking them for a reason. And you take some more and then you take some more and that's what addiction is so it's you know what i mean like that's it is what it is like it's a very addictive pain pills are horribly addictive well they're fucking terrible when people start drinking they don't think like they don't start at a like a hardcore alcoholic level when they first start at first it's leisurely and then you know you don't start whatever your genetics are. You don't start with a bottle of 10 high. You start with something that's celebratory. And then you're like, 10 high is cheap and keeps me from shaking.

Exactly. And that's what it is at that point. Yeah, you start where it's got to be fun at first. And no one does anything that's like, this is terrible. My life's awful the first time. No one would ever do it again. My life is great. You know what would really be awesome?

Because if I could barely get out of bed. That would be wonderful. And if I puked every morning until I had a drink that'd be really great i knew some guys in high school that started smoking crack right and i was with them the first time they smoked crack yeah i remember this and i watched their crack journey from the first time they smoked crack to when they were trying to quit crack years later and like i remember watching it and the first time they were having a great time it was like they were doing it right out in the open they were like you want some and i'm like no god i remember being like no i'm good on that at all i'm not into because i just never liked any upper type shit at all and i'm not

smoking crack you know what i mean you know they're like no that's fucking great they're like this is the best this was the best and then like three days later they were like that's great it's pretty good it's pretty good and then they were like we're gonna go get more though you know because it was by then it wasn't gonna last all night and then like three months later like they were coming into this dude's house with fucking full cigarette machines that they just stole out of bars oh no and pay phones and shit that they were trying to make keys for so they could go open pay phones and take all the quarters out to buy more crack this is like the schemes these people in a matter of like three weeks man it was insane so but the

first night oh baby it was a party it was fucking party time they were having a grand old time i love the stigma that's on like like crack and meth and i mean heroin's got a lot too but i can understand the allure of heroin uh because it's i've done pain pills for for the reason of what they're for for surgery fucking fantastic what people like them and heroin does the same thing because it's the fucking same thing uh but meth and crack i do not see how there's new addicts of that like tomorrow i don't know why there's more and there will be there will be there will be i don't know how how they try it the first with the stigma or how the first that's what i didn't get knowing what the end game is

yeah i remember being like are you smoking crack like that's not what i'm just in. Cops. This is like 1994. Like, we knew about crack. We were teenagers in 1995, six. Actually, I'm like, this is like you're smoking crack, right? They're like, no, it's great. It was like some kids were doing coke and that was a thing. And that still was considered like socially acceptable because that's not like crack. That was coke.

So it still is today. It's still a crack. So they would like that. And then they can start smoking crack. Yeah. Like, this is a lot more intense. It's crack like crack. That was Coke. It still is today. It's the rich man's crack. So they would like that. And then they could start smoking crack. Yeah. Like, this is a lot more intense. It's crack, stupid. That's the whole.

Have you been watching television for the last fucking 10 years? We know it's a lot more intense. It only exists because Coke is too expensive. That's it. That's it. We cheap this shit up and really kick him in the ass. It's Walmart Coke. Jesus. So he's into the painkillers.

I guess he started taking Tylenol 3 for back pain, and then he had surgery. That's what his ex-wife said. Had surgery in 87 or 88, and then he was hooked on them. He liked the painkillers. Yeah, he was all in on the painkillers. 1990, he's inducted into the Niagara Falls Sports Wall of Fame. Wall of Fame, not Hall of Fame, by the way. I was blown away right up until I heard the wall.

Yeah. I don't know if that's in the center of town or just at a bar. See that bar over there? It's known as just a thing. Yeah, that's the Niagara. It's called the bar, the Niagara Falls Sports. It's over there at the Roadway Inn. It's right there where it used to be.

The black whatever the fuck motor lodge. Yeah, that's the black lantern or whatever the fuck it was poor shit it was motor in or whatever the shit what the hell is the black hawk motor in you know there's people out there going black hawk black hawk they remember it from fucking half hour ago but i don't god damn it we went through the god damn we went through mr miyagi and over the top yeah then. I'm not going to remember. We've gone on a full tour of the 80s since then. We talked about Back to the Future. Yeah, Mallory and that.

Forget it. Family ties. This is a mess. Jesus Christ. We've got to get back on track, man. This is embarrassing. So, 1990, like we said, inducted into the Niagara Falls Sports Wall of Fame. So, watch out for that.

And he also has a daughter that year uh does not name her harold howard jr thankfully because that would poor little girl yeah so uh he has a daughter uh 1992 he has a son okay so he's repopulating he's gonna he's gonna procreate this guy uh which i don't know how i feel about that but the kids seem fine i'll say that about his kids. They seem fine. They don't seem like any sort of problem, we'll say. And at this point in the story, it's okay. Everything's fine so far.

He's climbing. He's yodel-ee-hee-hoo. He's climbing the mountain, man. He's got income right now, too, right? He hasn't even been to the top of the mountain yet. No. He's climbing, baby. He's been a world champion, but he's going to be in UFC.

Chill out. Wait a second. It's coming. Do you, but he's going to be in UFC. Chill out. Wait a second. It's coming. Do you know what we haven't had yet in any of these stories? Oh, I can't wait. And I want it so bad is for a daughter named Grace. Have we had even one? We had one daughter named Grace.

And you know what? She was after Grace, wasn't she? She was after Grace. Yeah, that was the thing. That was fun. We haven't had any named Grace before Grace. Yeah, we had Grace. Which would be our fucking stand. We had Grace, and then like two minutes later, he has a daughter named Grace. I was like, named Grace before Grace. Yeah, we had Grace. Which would be our fucking stand.

We had Grace, and then two minutes later, he has a daughter named Grace. I was like, it's extra Grace at that point. It is what it is now. So he makes his return to competitive fighting, on the amateur level, I guess this is, in 1992 at age 34, which is an advanced age to get back into competitive fighting. It's a young man's game, competitive fighting, unless you've been doing it.

That's why it was such a crazy thing that George Foreman came back in the 90s and was a big deal in boxing again, because you just don't retire for 10 years and come back and win heavyweight championships. It's not normal. It's like Terry Bradshaw suiting him up again. Yeah, suiting him up.

If Ben Roethlisberger goes down yeah he's like he's got this it's fine he trots on out there you imagine that how long to he he would last 15 seconds before he'd be broken mall one down one down he would be i don't know he probably hurt himself dropping back he's so fucking old jesus christ by the way take three steps grab his shoulder and go to the ground yeah yeah i have to give credit to an author right now By the way. Take three steps, grab his shoulder, and go to the ground. Yeah, yeah. For sure. I have to give credit to an author right now, by the way. I was reading this book.

This is off the subject for two minutes. It's called Football for a Buck. It's Jeff Perlman wrote it. It's the USFL. It's a new book he just wrote about the USFL. It's very thorough, and it's pretty fucking good, and it's just hilarious, all the crazy shit that happened in the USFL. I went on a big rant about how Trump destroyed the league, regardless of politics, did destroy

the USFL. That is objectively true. And fuck him for it. So anyway, he writes this book about all of that. And he also wrote a book about Dallas Cowboys in the 90s and kind of all their craziness. Right. So I read this book because I like the guy's writing. And in the end of this, I read this whole book. And and right at the end it gets to the part where he tears skip

bayless a new asshole and just calls him an unscrupulous hack and it's fucking wonderful and thank you jeff perlman for for being somebody else in public saying he's a piece of shit because that guy is because what he did was listen to how what a piece of shit skip balis is he wrote a book in the mid 90s about the cowboys you know crazy rise and how they're all they're all their nightlife and all that and in this book for about five pages he talked about how troy achman's gay okay uh now troy achman uh as far as we know as far as he says isn't gay that's his fucking business and if he says he's not gay he's not fucking gay right so now stories there's stories i've i actually know some gay dudes that are like oh he's gay as fuck like literally some dudes i and i can do that because i officiated their wedding so that allows me to

make doing i can do one imitation that gives me i think i officiated these two gentlemen's wedding i'm cashing it in right now and they told cashing it in right now. And they told me stories about that, but I don't know if that's true, and I'm not a journalist, and I wouldn't write in a fucking book that it absolutely was true because I heard some rumors around that, and basically this dude called Skip Bale

is just a complete unscrupulous, hack fucking douche that is all attention on himself and anything to get attention, and that's all it is. He has no, no morals, no journalistic integrity,

no anything. He's just a frosty TV, uh, mirage, uh, filled with douche and placed in front of a camera. So, uh,

thank you for that. Jeff. How much does he love himself? By the way, they said he was the first one to have an agent, the first like writer in town to have an agent, have billboard of him on the fucking thing. he's that guy and he it's all calculated that shit with triakeman he didn't care if it was true or not it was calculated to get him attention

that's what everything he says that's stupid i always say what's your talent arguing with black people it's me because everything he says is wrong and he's sitting next to a guy who's saying something logical and normal and then he's saying something oh i don't know i'm a i'm a contrarian yeah i'm a contrarian i'm just skipped out i don't know well maybe lebron isn't so good well maybe he is you stupid asshole you dumb fuck no he's he's the guy who still thinks lebron isn't any good he's that guy he's still gonna shut the fuck up try to discredit a champion that's what i mean well he's only won 12 championships i mean he can't win 14 i don't think so i mean he's not as great as we all thought he was that's who we shut up say you're wrong you dummy he still thinks probably men's he was the guy who said manziel is the next great quarterback and lebron's not a good

basketball player so anyway way off the subject we apologize it's five foot eight with a huge drug problem yeah he's gonna be the best quarterback ever next fucking john elway coming out of the shoot he's got joe montana written all over him very focused very focused on where his drug dealer is yeah yeah if you're gonna be like that you could be like that if you're brett farce and you have the greatest arm ever in the world you could be a party guy if you're Dan Marino and you're the greatest arm in the world. If you're a mediocre talent, you can't be like that. I get it. A small quarterback can be successful, but he better fucking scramble.

He better be great. Because you have to throw over. Yeah, it's an uphill battle. You're lobbing grenades over the wall and hoping you hit the target. That's crazy. Remember how funny Doug Flutie was? Case in point. And I love Doug Fl flutie but he was hilarious back there he didn't know where he was throwing it jeff garcia is a pretty good quarterback yeah didn't win anything but he's

no decent quarterback 30 touchdowns two years in a row that's pretty goddamn good quarterback it's not bad uh howard on the other hand is probably not a good quarterback i would assume he's never worked on it he's only doing karate so i'm going to assume he's not a great quarterback uh he's not going to run an offense well i feel like he's not going to know what he's doing but uh luckily nobody makes him try but skip would tell you he's the next best quarterback he could be the next greatest quarterback i've ever seen i'm just going to say that right now better now i think if we put him on another western conference team automatically it would make the lakers less likely to win because he would dominate lebron in every game they played

now go to my instagram page and watch me do squat oh jesus christ all my i hate nothing more than 60 year old men who want to show you that they they're jacked and they work out and their hair is fucking frosty and douchey and fake. Be yourself. Jesus Christ. Let your chest hair grow. Dude, just be yourself. You're a sports reporter. You're not a fucking movie star.

You're not a movie star. I get it when movie stars get plugs and work out. Oh, my God. He's 55 and he's jacked. Holy shit. Yeah, because he's a fucking movie star. You're sitting in there in the morning on ESPN arguing with whatever black person they put in front of you that day.

That's your fucking that's what you do. That's your job, dummy. Sham and sharp until he's got enough money to until he's sick of him and moves on to another thing. So Harold, though, he fights in 1992 competition. He wins a silver medal. Wow. At the National Black Belt League World Championships in sport karate.

So, I don't know. He's the second best 34-year-old sport karate fighter in his weight class, I guess. Sounds great. Well, I don't know. Everybody else had to be 34 also. He was undefeated entering the finals, but he had to bow out of the finals two matches due to injury. So, he didn't actually even lose. He just got hurt.

When you're in a tournament, like we said, it's tough. out of the finals two matches due to injury. So he didn't actually even lose. He just got hurt. When you're in a tournament, like we said, it's tough. And, yeah, you're going to pick up little injuries over the course of tournaments. So I don't know how they do those tournaments on a daily thing. That seems crazy. Like, I get, like, an amateur karate tournament because that's just, like, a point thing. But, like, a UFC fight, these guys are getting pummeled sometimes. I mean, you take a couple of good shots to the head, you're probably not ready, bare-fisted. I don't know if you're ready for another fight right at that point.

I don't know if I'm going to do much for the next week. Yeah, I'm not, but rest. I'm going to sit down for a while. I'm going to rest for a while, kick back. So at this point, UFC 3 is coming up. UFC is brand new in 1991. So this is like UFC is the biggest thing in the world now this is pre-dana white this is pre any of that shit this is a some guys from vegas own a thing that people beat the

shit out of each other bare-fisted that's it it's not a it's not a big deal at this point seg is the name of the company that owned ufc at this point yeah they were called seg we talked about that before yeah we've talked about the roots and Dana White buying it and all that kind of shit. The nondescript logo of, I guess, a guy. I don't know what that is. A fighter of some kind. No face, smooth genitalia.

We're not sure. So he was much like Andrew. We're not positive. Gotcha. So they own the promotion and they send because they're looking for fighters. They don't have fighters. Like, it's not like now where they have to have TV shows to weed people out and they're coming from everywhere. They were looking for guys willing to beat the shit out of each other barefisted that had some sort of qualifications.

Any training at all? Any training. Because that's the thing. I mean, they could obviously get a bunch of truckers and you know, like the no holds barred cast as people from a foundry to come out and swing wrenches at each other. But I feel like I had to throw one more 80s. The word foundry is so great. It is great.

Cause you just picture fire and sparks. Foundry and quarry. Those are two amazing words. Oh, quarry's a good one. Quarry, I see, I see all sorts of dust and quarry's a good one. Quarry, I see all sorts of dust in quarries. I see the flintstones.

Yeah, yeah. People work the hardest in foundries and quarries. This is making Little Rocks out of Big Rocks. All I see is people with giant sledgehammers hitting things that then dust comes up and maybe a spark once in a while. I will not fuck with those people. No, no. and maybe a spark once in a while. I will not fuck with those people. No, no.

They were looking for people who were skilled fighters, not just combatants from the streets that were willing to fight. So they're recruiting people, actually, and they send a representative to Howard's home in Canada to invite him to fight for the UFC. They know where he lives. Yeah, they're just looking for people, and they found they heard about this guy and said,

oh, he's a Canadian champion in all these different disciplines and all that. That could be a good guy for us. You know, maybe get the Canadians involved in this. And, you know, they wanted to have people from everywhere. Damn it. They want to have people from everywhere. They just needed fighters who were skilled. They didn't want it to look like two hobos fighting in the street when they had the fucking fights on TV.

We're going to put this on TV. And here's two guys just swinging like windmill at each other. That would have looked terrible. They're going to put this on TV and here's two guys just swinging like windmill at each other. That would have looked terrible. They wanted it to be. It also gives credibility to it because you can't be the world champion if you don't invite the world like that. That's true. That bothers me about the NFL, but I get these are

they're probably the world champion or like nobody. What are we going to do? Nobody's going to challenge bring a team of fucking Hondurans in here and test it and crush them. could be because we outweigh them by 200 like what are we gonna do they don't it's not in other people's cultures yet maybe in 20 years because in europe now they're starting to play football and so maybe in 20 years they'll have a thing then they can rival it but they don't now they just don't we get the only people from around the world we get are like a soccer kicker and an ex-rugby guy

who'll be like a special teams lunatic. He'll just throw himself into the wedge. You know, like that's the only foreign guys we get, really, at this point. We need them large and homegrown and playing for a long time. Sorry. How about that? That's how not – that's how – you can tell me that your soccer players are tough and they can they're i'm sure they are our guys wear pads they're such boys where are your boys at have

them try out they're in the back with fucking lots of protective rules against them even though they're in full pads kicking the ball once yeah i don't care how tough you are when a 300 pound man crushes you running full speed you're not gonna last if you weigh 175 pounds that's just the end of the fucking story ask johnny manziel and he's from texas so come on what do you think you're doing over there sending someone from the other side that's amazing not happening and he's from texas texas where people are enormous oh That's a good one. Howard had won a few, you know, he'd won some karate shit, some kickboxing shit,

some jujitsu tournaments and all that. Apparently they sent somebody there, like I said, and this is going to be to go from fighting these small time tournaments to being like, you want to fight somebody on TV? That's a big step in being like whether you want to be a fighter like that, I would imagine.

We have an In Their Own Words about how this all happened and exactly how he got into the whole business here. I think it's time for an In Their Own Words. What do you think? I think we need to hear what this mulleted savage has to say for himself. Let's do it. In Their Own Words, quote,

So I had a pretty strong seminar circuit. I was in Michigan when they came to my house. Some guy had a letter and said, if your husband had balls, he'll be there. My wife told him, told them I'd be there. I worked security at bars and it's at my school. I was always like a doorman in some big bar somewhere.

As far as street fighting, I had no problems with that stuff and my arts made it easier to handle people. I was never like a blood and guts type of guy, but I like being in those security type of situations i would like to handle it without getting anyone hurt so that's what he says he's not a bloodthirsty and that's the thing about him he doesn't strike me as a real like in the ring he's not a guy who he's a guy who came up as a tournament point fighter so it's about skill at that point i mean all about skill i mean that's just that's almost just like uh we're too it's almost like playing chess with someone it's a skill thing

it's not a matter of i want to rip that guy's face off it's a matter of my technique was better and i got under his defense it's a different type of shit so i feel like uh he doesn't walk into this like some of our guys do as we've some of MMA guys and boxers are like, I just want to eat somebody's liver. I mean, that's all I'm looking to do. I just, you know, he's not like that at all. This is all just like a very much a competition thing to him now. So he he goes into this one night tournament, which is what they had back then. UFC three was a tournament just like they all were back then.

Bare bare fisted. Got to win three fights to win a tournament, which is fucking they had back then. UFC 3 was a tournament, just like they all were back then. Bare-fisted, got to win three fights to win a tournament, which is fucking bonkers. And they had Hoyce Gracie was also in this tournament. And I know in the last time, by the way, I know all the fucking Gracies, the R as in H. And when we did Ryan Gracie, as I'll say, we said, we know it's not Ryan Gracie, but I'm not calling this man high end for three fucking hours when it's spelled with an R.

Fuck you. So, but we're mentioning this guy like twice, so we'll give him his name. Hoist Gracie, who was kind of the, he had the last UFC one and two, he was the man. So, Harold Howard wants, I almost called him Howard Harold. Harold Howard wants to, he's like, if I get into this tournament tournament maybe i get to fight this guy maybe see what i'm all about against this guy so it's it's a you know he's curious to see what his skills are basically uh he wants to do that he wants to fight the best so he wants to fight this guy yeah because he's the best and he's like i get in the ring with this guy and you see what happens you know maybe

i'm better than him who knows i don't know we i've never been tested so you know maybe i'm the best there is. No way of fucking knowing until you find out. But it turns into a very interesting night. It's September 9th, 1994. UFC 3, the American Dream, it's called. UFC 1, which was Gracie and Shamrock were the main event. Ken Shamrock, who was, as you know, a wrestler for Ever Later and everything else uh that was in 1993 so this is the third ufc this is within the one year of ufc's you know inception here now they show the warm-up videos and they have you know they show the promo

videos and shit and they have uh his are great too you can still find them on youtube just look up harold howard and it'll have like videos, and it's him, like his intro. You get everything this guy's about from a minute and a half. It's awesome. It's hilarious. They show him punching holes in punching bags. What? It's crazy.

Well, the guy has the... They're taped up. I mean, they probably were already ripped, but the guy has these little punching bags he's holding while Harold is throwing these punches. And by the way, during this little scenario where this guy's holding this bag chest high and he's punching it and he takes a couple of punches which look fine they look like real hard punches from a big dude and then he does this spin kick this like little spin kick to this guy's chest and the thing and when he hits it he like knocks himself off balance like if you kicked a wall you know what i mean and when your foot hits it you fall kind of back a little bit but he like recovers because he's on video and he's trying to

look tough he recovers real quick and then he takes like three punches and one punch rips the breaks open the bag and sand comes out and so they're like look how tough he is he broke an old punching bag except off center he's yeah but if you kick he he shouldn't kick at all, we'll just say, because he looks like, whoa, that looked like me trying to throw a fucking spin kick at somebody. Like a dog backing out of the driveway. Yeah, not great, man. Not great. That's amazing.

So the first fight of the night for him is against a guy named Roland Payne. We'll talk about him. He's a 5'9", 235 235 pound dude so he's a short thick little brawler guy uh he's a kicker too he kicks a lot uh now this guy by the way in this first event this was how old school this was gracie had his own dressing room everybody else was just in like a pen in the middle really everybody was just in a common room with some curtains just like a big pen of fighters who were going to fight each other that are all housed together, which seems dangerous

as shit. Yeah. No one had their own anything. So, yeah, they were all in there. Supposed to just get along in there. Yeah. Everybody don't kill each other. Well, I guess you're going to go out there and make money.

You don't do it in here. That's a good point. No cameras in here, big guys. You know, so Harold says about this whole thing, whole thing he says quote we got an idea of of pain talking to the guys we mixed around with but as far as full uh full contact career he was the most experienced guy there he had been in more full contact venues than any of us before that i'd never fought full contact i was a point fighter but it was not a full contact venue so he's saying this the guy he's got to fight and when they come into these tournaments they don't even know who they're

they don't know who they're fighting right and they might know in the beginning a little bit about your first fighter but then you don't even know who the fuck you're fighting around too so there's no strategy and i'd rather see the guys figure out game plans for each other and you know i think that'd be a better fight it'd be tough to draw up a game plan for 12 different fighters that's i mean you can't it's impossible to it's really impossible especially back then nobody really knew what anybody did they were all it was all brand new it's like well we have footage of that one fight he had oh okay well who the shit knows so uh yeah this is all new for him though uh but he came in and right away i mean he stood out visually like that guy's a star baby he comes in he's got jesus christ he's got well first of all he's

got a wife beater on he fights in a wife beater number one so that tells you right there if you don't know what a wife beater is it's a it's a t-shirt yeah the tank tank top t-shirt the white one that people who beat their wives wear right that's why it's called that so beer stains on it yeah so uh he's wearing that and uh like some sweatpants oh boy and let's say canada down them uh by the way so no gloves he's just this mulleted ginger guy tank i don't know he's going to the gym to work on his shoulders it looks like he's gonna get in a fight in his yard yeah that's what he looks like he came out of his house at two o'clock on a sunday afternoon so I said, get the hell off my property.

And then starts beating the shit out of somebody. That's what he looks like. Not to tell his neighbors he can hear their music in his house. I can hear you. It's fucking bonkers. So, yeah, he comes in. He's wearing Oakley's. First of all, he's wearing like 90s.

The night. Yeah, the 90s Oakley's. Obviously, it's like 1994 here. So he's wearing the Oakley's. And then he says this is his line. And this is what he's famous for. This is what everybody remembers about him. He said, we got a saying, quote, we got a saying back home that if you're coming on,

and then he rips off his sunglasses, he says, come on. What? If you're coming on, come on. That's what he says. We got a saying back home that if you're coming on, come on. What? If you're coming on, come on. That's what he says. We got to say it back home. And if you're coming on, come on. But you got to rip your 80s Oakleys off to show your crazy eyes at that point.

So that was like everyone remembers him. Anybody who saw early UFC will not. You're not going to forget a ginger mullet. You're just not. I'm sorry. And a couple of things he did, too, you're not going to forget. So he fights Steve Jenim. Or I'm sorry. And a couple of things he did, too, you're not going to forget. So he fights Steve Jenim. I'm sorry.

Yeah, the first fight he fought the Ronald Payne guy. And that's, by the way, Ronald Payne's first and only pro fight. That one right there. That one right there. And Harold wins this fight with a KO with a punch in the first round at 46 seconds. Wow. So he wins the fight in 46 seconds. That man's career lasted 46 seconds. 46 seconds.

And he had one amateur fight, and that was a draw. So, eh, whatever. He came on and came off. He came coming. But, I mean, that's back then, bare-fisted. That's how these fights, like I said, they didn't last. They didn't go the distance with bare fists. It just doesn't happen.

There was no, you can't do that. Who said everybody's got a plan until they get punched in the face? Everybody. Yeah, but somebody's. Jack Dempsey, Muhammad Ali, Rocky Marshawn. I think it may have been Muhammad Ali. I don't remember. Maybe it was Floyd Patterson.

I don't remember. It's Joe Louis. It was somebody that got punched in the face. That's who it was. It's one of these people that's been attributed to. The point is, 46 seconds. He had a plan. And then he got drilled. And he. That's who it was. It's one of these people that's been attributed to. The point is, 46 seconds. He had a plan. And then he got drilled.

And he was like, fuck this game. And the first guy who starts getting a little flurry of punches that land, the fight's over because it's barefisted back then. It hurts. And it hurts. And the guy's like, oh, Jesus. Their whole head starts rattling. Fucking CTE is like, it's like a video game.

Like, ba-ding, ba-ding, ba-ding. And you're showing like negative 10 brain points, negative 8 brain points. You're just clicking down your intelligence and your impulse control and everything else. And oh no, now you're going to kick your child later. And now it's a problem. Motor skills. Motor skills deteriorating. Oh, he's not going to remember his kid's name when he's 55.

Oh no. It's brain pinball. That's what's happening. Lowest score loses. Lowest score, baby. It's brain pinball. That's what's happening. Lowest score loses. Lowest score, baby. That's it. Lowest score loses. Oh, man.

So this is 1-0. Apparently, Payne came out just firing fucking shots, and they went back and forth a little bit, and Payne drove Howard into the cage, and then Howard ended up dropping him with a right hand and then getting on top of him and just punching him until it was over at that point Howard said quote quote he really didn't he really didn't get me the thing that surprised me when he leapt off leapt off his hands and knees and grabbed my legs and I had enough savvy to get away from the bugger but he was a strong little guy I've got such a long reach on him even when when he was kneeing me, I was keeping him at bay.

He sure forced me to clock him a few times. So even then, he sounds like he didn't want... He's like, he sure forced me to clock him a few times. Had to do what happened. Didn't want to do that. I mean, that was tough, but I didn't want to do it. You know how that goes. So the next thing here, he's supposed to fight Gracie now.

So now he's getting his chance. He's going to fight Gracie. But this Gracie ended up having a battle with another guy, Leopoldo, who outweighed him by 70 pounds. And it was a long fight. And finally, Gracie won by submission. But he was so fucked up, they had to help him out of the ring to get him out because the fight was just so tough on him. So then he's supposed to fight Harold Howard. They get him into the ring, and before the fight even starts,

Gracie's corner says, we're not having this fucking fight. We're not doing it. He's so fucked up. He's going to kill him. He just had a horrible fight. They had to help him out of the ring. So he wins just by that. So some people, it's listed as a win in some place.

So technically, in some sites, he's listed as a win in some place so technically in some sites he's got a win over uh hoist gracie but most people don't count it they just count it as a non thing that happened he moved on in a cat in a in a yeah what do they call that tournament in a tournament yeah but he didn't beat him but he didn't exactly exactly so uh gray gracie's corner stops it and uh like i said that's that's how it goes so now he's got to fight somebody else instead a replacement that he has no idea who it even is or anything about him at least gracie he knows some shit he watched his last couple fights and i'm going to say right now uh he said yodel a he uh grace we're gonna it's grace i would say

at this moment in time right yeah this is grace and going into the final fight of the of the tournament of the first tournament this is grace yeah we're gonna call grace on this right now he won a fight he just he just no contested a gracie it doesn't get much better than this he's a canadian champion his mullets flowing freely in the wind we're calling grace because it's not going to be this good for very long so at this point uh they need to fill in for gracie after grace so there's a gracie grace thing here i need to fill in and they get a guy that i mentioned before named steve jenim okay this is the guy uh this is the the fill-in guy and harold says quote when i won the first fight all we were saying was we got to gracie that was the only thing we wanted to do and that

was the biggest disappointment i remember after chemo fuckie. He came in and he's no preacher. I remember they were swearing and I opened up the curtain and said, shut the fuck up. When Gracie didn't fight me, that was so disappointing, which I think is funny. They were cursing. So I told them to shut the fuck up. Okay. I remember saying at least we got Shamrock. Shamrock's entourage was behind me when we got into the ring. I bowed to him and I thought he was going to get in. We got Jeniman there instead. So this guy literally, as he's in the ring, doesn't know who he's going to fight, which seems crazy to me that he has no idea. And he's fighting a guy who hasn't fought yet.

He's fighting an alternate fighter who was there in case somebody got hurt. So this guy is in the finals of this tournament without even having to fight anybody, which seems crazy. And he's fresh. Yeah, that seems like an advantage. I would say, yeah, to be fresh in a tournament. It seems like something they would do in wrestling to make a bad guy come in without having to wrestle anybody and have the good guy have to fight back like an 80s wrestling tournament is the move, it sounds like. The Undertaker was late, but now he's in the championship.

Now he's in the championship. Now he's in the championship. It's not right. No, it's not fair. It's very WrestleMania IV, where they gave one man gang the bye, but then Savage beat him. Anyway, this is what we're talking about here. It's not right. So that night, so he gets in there.

Again, white tank top again. He's going to stick with that. He's got his black belt on. It's worked this far. What he does, his first move his big uh coming out here against steve jenim who is 5 foot 10 215 pounds and uh this is the first fight of a two and three career so a lot of these guys in the beginning they didn't last very long than this this is his first fight now what what howard does is uh harold fucking does an attempt at a cartwheel kick.

Remember what Dotsick actually hit a guy with? He attempts that. But when you don't hit a guy with it, it just looks like you had some sort of spasm and decided to throw yourself over on the ground for no reason. It's like, that looked weird. And the guy didn't even jerk at like, whoa, hey. He was just kind of stepped back slowly like, oh't I'm not going to get hit by that. Like it wasn't close. You saw it coming from him.

He's a giant ginger. Two hundred four. You're not going to sneak that move in. It's just not like that. Dotsick. So unorthodox. You didn't know whether he was going to do that or leap into the air or jump on the side of the cage and jump off like a monkey onto you.

You had no idea. Fucking bite you. This guy just comes straight forward and then just rolls at you. You're like, I'll just step back two steps and then that's that. Don't let him fall down. And then he just looked like an idiot. He just stood up like, okay, well that didn't work. It was very, very weird here.

So he misses it. He ends up, and they scrap back and forth here. Apparently Jenim was big into Brazilian J jujitsu and was decent at takedowns and shit like that compared to a lot of the guys and uh he ends up getting howard on his back and he ends up uh punching him until uh howard has to submit from punches because back then most of the submissions were when you were getting hit because you hadn't

couldn't defend yourself against bare-fisted fucking punches raining down upon your skull. You're going to stop at that point. It's a submission to punches at one minute and 27 seconds of round one. That's not good. So the last 90 seconds there. So he, like I said, gets him on his back and pounds Howard pretty good. Howard, though, explained in his interview afterwards, he said, quote, I was seeing if it would work and it didn't. The cartwheeler, like, what about that cartwheeler? He was like afterwards he said quote i was seeing if it would work and it didn't the cartwheeler like what about that cartwheeler it was like i don't

know saw if it would work it didn't he's like i guess the guy beat my ass you know and people liked him because of that because he didn't come out he didn't make excuses or anything he was just like i tried and shit didn't work out guy knocked me out and you know that's all i got my mullet and i'm gonna go home to canada okay need some back bacon things are gonna be fine so uh uh he uh no obviously his friends and students and people who are fighting you know in the fighting genre made fun of him for it all it's all said what the fuck is wrong with you that's how you all this training and all this for years and you try to cartwheel kick a guy what is wrong with you that's your big move and that's a finisher by the way yeah you opened with he opened well so did dot sick that was his opener too but mean, that's why it's surprising. It's like an

onside kick to open a football game. It's shocking and it could catch them off guard. But if they are expecting it, they just pick it up gently and now they have a great field position. And that's what this guy did. Just stepped back and okay, now you're off balance and standing there. Louis used to try to open

with his closer and try to build from there. That's what he basically did. Well, his closer's taking his cock and then try to build from there. That's what he basically did. Well, his closer's taking his cock out and jerking it at you. And that's what he would open with. And he would open with that. If you can then have a good set after that, you're a good comic. You can really, that's closing strong there, boy. If you can have a good career after you've watched him do that, you're a good comic.

It's a good comic. So, whoo, man. Great composure. Jesus. Yeah, the composure you'd have to have as an audience member to take that in and dodge it and be like, oh, that's all right. And then his next joke. Imagine how good your next joke would have to be to follow the cock. To follow the.

The shock of the cock. A ginger, a balding ginger tugging in front of you, ass naked. That's tough. That's brutal. That's a tough one to follow. So, they show this all the time. If you show like an early highlight reel of early UFC, this is like his attempted, some ginger lunatic trying to do this kick is most certainly on there all the time.

Now, Jenim, after his career, ends up becoming a Nebraska police officer. Oh, he's done. After two and three. Five of these. Fuck it. He goes and becomes a police officer in Nebraska, where I assume he chokes out meth heads now. Takes them to the ground. Certainly.

And pounds them into submission. Fucking good. I beat up ginger Canadians. You know that? At least I didn't shoot them. You know who I am. So, UFC rules were changed after this event. Really?

Good. For good reason. Forcing alternates in tournaments to compete earlier in the night in other fights to level the playing field in case they have to be brought in so they fought the same amount of fights. Because you can't have a fresh guy coming in against a guy who's fought people already. Not fair. Maybe that would have connected had the guy been exhausted.

Who knows? Yeah, maybe. This guy just came in. He was fresh. Maybe if the guy been exhausted. Who knows? Yeah, maybe. This guy just came in. He was fresh. Maybe if that guy was whatever. Now, after all of this, after this fight, not because of the fight, but just in general, Howard has an elbow problem, and he has to have elbow surgery after that. Now, surgeries and Harold, we know how that is.

If you're a guy who likes painkillers and you have a surgery, that's a dangerous time for you because that's the time where you can get real deep into that shit. He recovers for a few months, and then he starts training again, though. So painkillers or not, he's trying. He's training. It doesn't matter. He comes back at UFC 7. Four years later.

Four fights later. It's a year later. It's like a year and a day. It could be two weeks. I think it's 364 days later. It's September 8th, 1995. I think the other one was September 9th. later it's like a year and a day two weeks it's a it's a i think it's a 364 days later it's september 8th 1995 i think the other one was september 9th so uh he says that it's he's in the best shape of his life after elbow surgery so he's had a lot of time to train he's really getting into it but uh

the surgery has hampered his conditioning that's the only thing that he said that he has a problem with but he's in shape uh but he also had some personal what he calls personal problems at the time, which I'm going to assume. I'm not sure. I mean, you could have marital problems or financial problems, or you could be trying to kick a pill addiction from a surgery that you just had. I'm not sure. So many problems you could have. There's a lot of possible problems you could have. You could have a real just a moral and uh personal crisis of whether

to cut the mullet it's 94 95 and you're like i know it's over but it's my like identifying thing so what do i do what do you do when your identifying thing goes out of fashion i don't know if you that's what i mean if you stick with it then you're just a thing of that time and nothing else you're but if you lose it then you've lost your thing. That's why you shouldn't have a thing. That's why any time a comic has a gimmick, like a thing they always wear or something, I'm like, that's not a good thing. That's going to look stupid later. Sorry.

You're going to regret that. You're going to regret that. I'm not going to work for you. So yeah, mentally, he's not there because of the, quote, personal problems. So we keep that in mind here. Now, September 8th, 1995, this is UFC 7, the Brawl in Buffalo. Oh, baby. It's at the Buffalo Memorial Auditorium in Buffalo, New York, obviously.

Buffalo is where everybody wants to go. September 8th, so it's a month into winter already. That's good. September 8th is a month. It's a month into winter. There's summer lasts approximately the third week in July to the second week in August, I believe. They've already got a foot of snow on the ground. Summer in Buffalo.

Oh, yeah, yeah, no, they're ready. They're ready for Bills games already. They're like, get this over with so the Bills can get cranking. We've got to see what happens. Was it 95? Jim Kelly, we still got a chance. We're two years removed from four straight Super Bowls. I think we can make a comeback here.

I think we've restocked. It's ready to go here. So this fight, this is the Accard UFC 7. Ken Shamrock's in this. Also, we'll talk about another guy here in a second. But Ken Shamrock ends up in another guy here in a second but uh ken shamrock ends up in the in the finals here uh in the end and so these are like the early real famous uh ufc guys also a guy who ends up going deep in this uh in this tournament is paula varlins you

ever heard of this heard of this guy i don't know he's a giant son of a bitch is he the polar bear i that might be him he's a big giant son of a bitch and uh he's a mediocre fighter and he ends up going to ecw wrestling oh to do it's a famous thing in ecw they somehow convince him to come there to fight taz who if you know taz is he's a little he's about five foot fucking eight maybe but he's a real thick little dude who like does german suplexes all over the place and shit yeah he's a cool little dude but they were trying to make him like his character was like he's the badass shoot fighter and does all these suplexes and shit so they were trying to bring in a legit quote-unquote ufc fighter to show that this guy could even beat a ufc fighter who's twice his size but they had to convince this dude to you know to fucking do

wrestling like hey he's gonna this little guy's gonna beat you and you have to just let him beat you so they didn't know like how it was gonna go down so they weren't sure he was gonna do it and this is all for real like they didn't know for sure if he was gonna do it so at the end it looked like he was doing what he was supposed to do yeah but just to make sure they sent a guy named perry saturn in who's another wrestler oh no they sent him in and had him do i've seen the highlight of it they had him go up to the top rope and drop kick the guy off the top rope oh no and normally the guy kind of jumps off and kind of just touches him with his feet and falls down he kicks the shit out of this guy's head he comes off

the top rope like a missile and fucking kicks this guy in the side of the head like a fucking mule i mean absolutely destroys him i mean wrestling moves if you did them for real would fuck you up and he absolutely destroys him and then taz puts the submission on him and they you know they say he gives up and they roll him out of the ring and he's fucking knocked out has no idea where he is because he just got kicked in the head and we didn't even see it coming two weeks ago that happened to a woman there's i don't know the names of these girls one of them does her move is the yes kicks whatever the fuck that means and she's just like i don't know fake kicking her in the face and the girl i guess miscounted how many yes kicks she was gonna get and she like leaned forward a little too far and

she took two boots to the fucking face no that's brutal gave her a concussion that's amazing that's fucking terrible jesus christ it is brutal to watch a girl get no that's terrible it's the worst i don't like that i don't care for that either i don't care if you can call me a misogynist if you want i don't like getting watching women get knocked out sorry i don't know if you want to. Does that mean we're bad guys, I guess? I don't know. I will tell you, she took it like a champion. Well, good for her.

She got drilled. No, she's a fighter. And she went out and she took it. A lot of times, women getting hit, they look dumb. They look bad. Well, not if they're fighters, though. Right. If they're fighters, they know how to fight women or men.

But she wasn't supposed to get kicked. Well, no, but still you take it by the way the varlins guy uh i don't remember if it's sunny or missy hyatt one of the two i can't remember which one fuck it's killing me they're both blonde kind of slutty girls let's go with sunny we'll say sunny but i think it was honestly missy hyatt uh i might have been sunny though told her told this guy that if you do it i'll fuck you if you go out and do the job i'll fuck you and then later on he's like we're gonna fuck me now and she's like i don't fuck losers what are you talking about and then nobody fucked him so he

really got screwed over pretty good he got kicked in the head didn't get fucked by the skanky manager he's got problems uh so this night uh harold fights mark the cobra hall who looks like a nondescript white guy there's nothing cobra like about him no showmanship he's just a white guy with a mustache it just looks pretty plain he's a six foot 190 pound guy nothing cobra about this guy it's the first fight of his career because he's skinny because he's skinny yeah he's a five and six career and uh like i said this this there's a lot of uh we got skinny. Because he's skinny. Yeah. He's of a 5-6 career. And like I said, there's a lot of, we got Varlins, we got Shamrock, we got all these guys on here. No Gracie this week, though, or this fight, this card for some reason.

Now, Harold loses by submission with strikes at 141 of round one. He gets beat up pretty good here, and that him to one and two uh that was he didn't this this fight wasn't a real good one for him this was just uh kind of an ugly fight for him now uh this brings us to he doesn't fight again until next year oh no so it's august everybody else we do we're like jesus he's fighting every three weeks no wonder what's wrong with him and now we're like every year this guy fights once a year he's just like welcome out in that fight now he's got to be christ he's 38 years old now too that's crazy which is nuts anyway he fights in uf or uv3 or uv jesus christ uvf3 which is universal valley tudor fighting three which is with the one i believe was when they

were like kicking each other on the ground and shit remember when we'll see that and it's like it's like full contact craziness too much yeah pummel people on the ground fair it doesn't no it does not seem fair but there is a guy fighting this night named nigel scantleberry yes which sounds like one of my made up characters of like an englishman who's coming to yell at you for your shitty life. And it's Nigel Scantleberry. And he says, Listen, how is it, my good man? My good sir. My good sir.

How is it you've come to arrive here? I'm very, very disappointed in all of you. It's terrible. So there's a guy named Eugenio in this night, which I always love that name. It's a take a terrible name and you're a European fire or fucking Spanish it up. That's awful. The main event of the night is Hugo Duarte versus Harold Howard, who is one in three at this point. Harold Howard or one in two.

So this is an interesting night here. Hugo Duarte is a six-foot-tall, 240-pounder from Brazil. He's a thick fucking dude, too, and muscular, and he looks like a fighter, this guy. He really does. He comes in at three and O of a six and three career. In his last fight, he knocked a guy out in eight seconds. Wow. So I don't even know how you, that's literally your first, bell rings, you come out, one

shot, and he's out. Done deal. That's it. Done. They call it. That's enough. It takes three seconds for the ref to wave. That's what I mean.

So that's real quick. Yeah. Like, that's real fast. Howard says, or Harold Howard says of this whole thing, quote, I didn't even know who Hugo Duarte was. He had no fucking idea. This is a guy, oh oh this is the guy holy shit this guy is the guy who fought rickson gracie at the beach in brazil remember this we talked

about this the other gracie brother and he was and and ryan at the time or hi and remember the fuck he was filming it and fucking remember that he was filming a fight at the beach that his dad was involved. I recall putting together. Yeah. So he's fighting, pushing elbow and people out of the way. So I'm trying to get my shot of the fuck out of my of the beach fight that's going on with these two professional fighters. That's who it was. It was Hugo Duarte.

Small fucking world, man. We always do. And Rick's and Gracie. So Hicks and Gracie, I guess. So he says he says, I don't even know who Hugo Duarte was. My buddy says, hey, you want to fight some guy named Hugo? He can't be that tough. Because his name is Hugo.

If you saw this guy, you go, I don't care what his name is. I don't care if his name is Francis or fucking. It doesn't matter. Or could be Clara. He is a tough son of a bitch i'm not fighting him uh he says i'm 38 or 39 years old at the time coming into this uh he says i got my arm caught in the bottom ropes back then the brazilians didn't know how to punch that good on the ground i was moving my arm and should have been able and should have been blocking them and i'm taking these massive blows on the melon they ended up calling it then i watched my tape my arm is caught in the rope

i had a great time all 43 seconds of it so he actually loses in 29 seconds not 43 seconds but a lot of weird words he does and bugger and yeah he's an old canadian he's a weird older canadian and i saw this fight too and that's what happened here As they get on the ground and the guy's trying to, the guy's throwing these punches and Harold's kind of blocking him and they're glancing off his arm and kind of glancing off the top of his head. And then as they roll, they get in the ropes and Harold puts his arm up to block and he's caught in the rope. Oh, no.

So the rope is blocking his arm from blocking the punches. So this guy's just raining blows upon him while he's like feebly trying to get his arm in front. And he's just getting socked in the left side of the fucking head just repeatedly blasted with bare fists from a giant man it's ridiculous so frustrating it's so bad i can't even imagine that's like when your seat belt locks and you can't grab your soda yeah you're god damn it i'm so thirsty this this this was great and then it's weird at the end they you know they have both guys there and they raise the hand of the winner they had to like pull howard up off the fucking off the floor because his head was bashed in by a giant man so he like got up off his knees at the last second so they could raise this dude's hand he looks like he's like out of it

it was a mess so disappointing so disappointing so that's going to be his last mma fight last professional fight he's one in three or two and three if's going to be his last MMA fight, last professional fight. He's one and three or two and three if you want to count the Gracie fight like some sites do. Who knows? A guy named Joe Ferraro, who is a UFC analyst for the Rogers Sportsnet, which is Canada, I believe, called Howard a legend and said he helped make the sport popular. Probably in Canada he did, honestly, because he had Canada written on his pants. Sure, right on the leg. He said, quote quote he was a tough guy which i guess so uh the howard managed to stand out in

that environment which 20 seconds over 20 seconds with the oakley's and the mullet yeah he stood out as a guy from another decade that's why now uh after mma uh shit was a little tough for Howard at this point here. In some point here in the late 90s, he is hit by a car. He's hit by a rich, drunken executive at one point. He says, quote, I was actually standing at Ontario Place in Toronto at the CNE. I have no idea what any of those words. I mean, I know what Toronto and Ontario and Place are. When you put all those together with CNE, I have no idea what any of those words are. I know what Toronto and Ontario and place are. When you put all those together with CNE, I have no idea.

I assume some sort of transportation. That's a hotel or a venue or something. Yeah, I don't know. He said he was standing in line. He said, quote, I guess the CEO came in after a liquid lunch and took me out of line. He got fucking mashed by a car. Just came up on the sidewalk and took him out. he wasn't like in the street or anything a drunk driver just took him off the sidewalk horrible uh yeah he he was really really hurt bad and uh wasn't able to really recover well uh had a tough recovery and uh he said it was tough because also he had no money he couldn't work he couldn't do things he couldn't train people uh somebody's a ceo yeah that's you can sue them to have some money well he said quote we battled him for seven

years oh my god we have what they call no fault insurance up here you don't see any benefit of it i almost lost my house oh no so he ended up getting nothing after fighting in court for seven years after getting mowed by a goddamn car you know't you wish you were American at this point, sir? For a minute, he wished he was American. You would be a CEO. But he also would have never been able to go to the hospital or anything. So he would have still been in a crooked pile on the floor. So maybe it's better you were in Canada.

At least they put you back together. Here, you would have been fucked. You had no health insurance. You would have been shit out of luck. If I get run over by a car, just leave me where I am because I can't afford to get fixed. Just leave me there in a heap. That's it.

If you find me, Jimmy, just go, that's enough of that. James is a goner. Podcast over. Podcast over. Take a picture of it, post it on social media.

We're very sorry, but James' leg is up over his head and it doesn't look like he's going to be able to make the show this week. The show this week will just follow my Twitter because I will just tweet a name. There's your scumbag.

That's him. That's the guy. Do some research. Start Googling, fuckers. Someone tell me something about him, goddammit. I want to know something and make it funny. Here's a guy who you need to tell me a story about. Somebody tell me a story.

Hugging Jimmy if I can. James is the CEO of something, but he doesn't know what. No, nothing. So in 2000, he's got nothing better to do, I guess, but stay home and get fucking. So he has another son. Oh, there you go. So he's got nothing better to do. So now he's got three kids, a daughter and two sons.

And no job. No, he works. He ends up working after his recovery here. There's a 2009 article on him. This is in early 2009, mind you. And that's very important that it's in early 2009. Because later on, this article would be completely different. So this kind of talks about where he's been from 2000 to 2009.

They say that he's still recognized on the streets in Canada. Wow. Giant guy with a mullet, red mullet. And they're like, hey, he's still recognized. He says, though, but it's starting to get, you know, by 2009, he said it wasn't all the time anymore. Once in a while, someone will go, hey, you look familiar or some shit like that. It's like Jake the Snake now. Yeah, yeah. it's like you kind of look like that guy but balder and fatter if you had a snake on you i'd think you were an elderly jake the snake if he was less

bloated i would say i know jake is doing better now yeah he's doing fine he's doing fine no and we we chronicle jake the snake's whole life. And he's had periods. And he has a lot of periods. I hope the man has a full recovery. I hope he never dips into his problems again. Never violates ever again. But I'm pretty sure he will. Just saying.

I mean, sorry, but genetics are hard to fight. And his are so strong. Sometimes. And his mental and his psychological shit is so tough to overcome. I don't know how you overcome that. We all get sad we all yeah we all get sad man we all it's weird because i heard this story about him and it's so bright two seconds for a jake sidebar i love it okay uh this uh reading this thing by uh sean oliver's name from kayfabe commentary says the wrestling interviews i get a lot of info from very high quality shit uh if you're into that it's very very interesting stuff anyway he talks about uh he wrote

a thing about they had jake in to do an interview and they have this show called breaking kayfabe where it's about it's not about wrestling it's about uh their lives it's people with wrestlers that have fucked up lives and weird upbringings and shit like that and they talk about their lives and made them who they are so it's interesting because some of these guys have crazy ass lives as we've talked about jake's life it's insane so uh they start asking jake about you know his life and he goes i don't want to talk about my personal life i just i don't want to talk about any of that shit and he's like what's kind of what the show is yeah um and i guess they had set it up through diamond dallas page who was working as jake's kind of go-between and i guess ddp didn't tell him what the show was about he just said hey i got an interview for you you'll get a thousand

dollars or some shit you know what i mean so he's like yeah all right and so in the end jake ended up walking out and didn't want to do it and he walked out and later on ddp was like yeah man he's in a bad place in his recovery right now he told the guy he's like that might have fucked him up i don't know and i'm like he's that like i don't know maybe he is but i mean someone's that close to the edge where if someone asks him a question they're gonna fall off like that's a scary fucking place it's a terrible place i'm not making a judgment but i'm just saying that's a terrible fucking place to be that precarious where something to the point of someone asking you a question that you don't like is going to send you off into a into a how recent was that's tough it was within the last three years oh god since he's been doing the ddp yoga and living at

ddp was handling his affairs so that's how fragile he is that's how fragile that close with like you ask him a question about booze and drugs and he wants to go do it his family his background like his family and his dad just anything but i mean that's out there he said did it and beyond the mat he talked about it a lot. But I'm not saying that to bash on Jake or to rip on Jake. I'm just saying when I said I'm not sure how long it'll last is because I think he's a pretty – Qualifies it very well. He's a sensitive guy like that, and he's got a lot of problems that aren't his fault, most of them. So I feel bad for Jake, believe me.

So, anyway, Harold, though, or Harold Howard. God damn, that's hard. Harold Howard here, he damn, that's hard. Harold Howard here. He says that he doesn't care what job he's doing. He's happy. He doesn't need fame or he doesn't need anything like that because he really didn't have that. I mean, he had a couple of quick cups of coffee and he got beat up.

So it's not like he had a big ego with the whole thing. And he talks about in 2009, quote, I just got laid off of a job, a huge renovation in Niagara Falls there. It's called the Fury, a roof made of all copper. It's a pretty good trade. It goes along with the ancient stuff like I like to mess around with. The technique is so old there's no nails at all. It's all held down by clips. It's not shingle roofing. It's all done copper and folded into itself.

The roof will last 150 years. It's high work. I've always liked working up high. The man's roofing. He's roofing. The roof will last 150 years. It's high work. I've always liked working up high. The man's roofing. He's roofing. That's what he ends up doing. He ends up roofing for like big project, you know, construction projects. He's doing roofing for years between 2000 and 2009.

In 2009, he's just coming off being laid off of a big cop. That roof sounds pretty cool, though. Yeah. I mean, that's neat. They have them in Scottsdale because copper is such a big deal in Arizona. They're really impressive. It's the copper state.

But that looks like a motherfucker. I don't want to do any of that. No, no, that looks really hard. Imagine doing that in the summer. Oh, Jesus. It'd be so hot. You'd be like, oh, God damn it. Fuck.

Shingles is bad enough. It's so hot. Everything's hot. Fuck. Jesus. So he's doing roofing as of 2009 still, just roofing, roofing, operating a small school called, quote, Howard Self-Defense Systems in Niagara Falls. He has about 40 students, he said.

He said there's a lot of schools in town, so it's a break-even proposition running a place. So he's not making any money running this joint if he goes back to the fucking why though 40 students at whatever yeah whatever he's got a school and i don't think he's charging that much and whatever the rent is he's basically breaking even and uh i think for him maybe it's a place to stay in shape but probably makes him feel good too he's the guy who knows he can pass along his knowledge and all that but still it seems like a lot of effort to not make any money i don't think i'm doing that as well as getting it in a couple nights

of your week that's what i mean i'd be like i'm gonna have other better shit to do than this you guys here's a book go practice those moves what's your time worth what's your time worth so uh he teaches an mma class also and says that he uh he was the world's first tournament champion in jiu-jitsu traditional jiu-jjitsu, not Brazilian jiu-jitsu, prior to entering the UFC. So I don't know if that's true or not, but that is his statement. Whatever.

Claim to fame. You want to look back at the early 80s and dig through jiu-jitsu tournaments and figure out which one was first and whether he won it or not. That's on you. That's a level of research I'm not willing to go to. I don't blame you.

I don't think that would be fruitful, number one. Number two, I doubt anyone gives a shit. And number three, fuck that. So anyway, just not interested. Why do we care about proving him wrong anyway? I don't care. I don't care if he's wrong or right. You know what?

He's lying. There. Done. I made a judgment call. So he said, occasionally, a kid from now will wander in wanting to get into mma which i would think most of them do well that's why kids would be training the fight in 2009 in 2009 yeah uh he says he follows the fight he follows ufc and follows mma still uh he says though with all the added rules and gloves that they've put on now he says it makes him wonder

if the ufc has become less than a true proving ground for the toughest guys. Well, it's not a tough man contest anymore. Now it's a skill contest. Now it's to see who's got better skills, not to see who would win in the parking lot of the fucking bar at 2 o'clock in the morning, which is what it used to be. Literally, who'd be a tougher bouncer, that guy or that guy? Well, let's make them take their gloves off and no shoes and get on in there and beat the piss out of each other. Thanks, Patrick Swayze. Yeah, that's what this was.

This was Roadhouse Thunderdome. Roadhouse meets Mad Max. By the way, Roadhouse Thunderdome is the name of this episode. He's got a mullet. Roadhouse Thunderdome is the name of this episode without a doubt fucking i'm writing that down as we as we talk roadhouse thunderdome yeah thunder yeah that's that's good shit uh that is 100 what this is but yeah tina turner's singing the national anthem oh you know it aretha franklin belting it out. So he says here, so he's basically saying that, I don't know if it's just a bunch of

pussies now is kind of what he said. I don't know if it's really the toughest guys. No, it's the most skilled guys. He said, quote, this is great, quote, the John Wayne stuff where you take 50,000 blows and keep going. That don't exist. Fights last maybe a minute. There wouldn't be three five minute round

the gloves the gloves are there to make the fight last longer is it yeah so for tv because otherwise you'd have to have 46 fights on a card to fill a fucking two-hour tv slot how many fights well that was 40 seconds moving on to the you'd have to have them in a line like fucking like drag racing line them up you go around to line them up you go otherwise it would be unwatchable unwatchable and also john wayne was were movies sir those were not real well yeah he's been going into taking all these blows like like they do now which you don't see guys get blows rained upon them and just walk through it generally now but you saw it even less when there was bare fists i will agree with them there but i don't think that shows that they're not tough it just shows that they figured out how to make it a business right and not because

you'd watch like if you watch a video of a fight it's a five minute video of a 40 second fight because the intros take three and a half minutes and then they do that and then it takes 40 seconds and then it takes more time to announce the winner than the fight took so you can't maintain that but i enjoyed no one's buying it that's fun i mean that's a that's that's fun it's just hard to sell like to a live crowd you're gonna see 45 fights the last 45 seconds how many times you hear people bitch about tyson fights that they were always over fast i love that that was great yeah and you saw the best fighter on earth eat the shit out of somebody and take their head off that's what you paid to see.

You saw a man with a pillow almost explode another man's head. What more do you want? You fought Carl the Truth Williams. What did you expect? Did you expect a 12-rounder? Are you not entertained? How are you not entertained by Mike Tyson going in and blowing people's heads off

like fucking punching bags for Harold Howard? I'd like to see Mike Tyson do a spin kick, by the way now that's all i want thinking about that's all i want to see knock himself off balance oh shit i knocked myself the britney spears headset that he uses for his yeah yeah oh my god that's so funny man that's so funny uh he says though he does say he respects modern day fighters uh he says that they're in amazing shape they're in so much better shape than they were That's so funny. He says, though, he does say he respects modern day fighters. He says that they're in amazing shape. They're in so much better shape than they were. The preparation they put into it.

They train like it's they train for months for a certain fight. Not like them where they're like, I'm fighting tomorrow. Who are you fighting? I don't know. Whoever they throw in that ring. And then you spit and burp and fucking sandpaper your knuckles up a little more. It's not the same. Find out when he walks in that's crazy that's crazy he was in the ring thinking he was gonna fight ken shamrock and

he's fighting some other guy he's like okay i guess i'm fighting him now and he lost to him i guess he's lucky he didn't fight ken shamrock no doubt so uh yeah so he says the gloves are there to make the fight last longer which yeah that's that's a fact uh he says he does respect them uh like i said he respects their uh their uh the cross, the different styles that they've melded together, and he respects all their deal. But he says part of him wonders how many of them would be able to embrace the violence and the unpredictability of the early UFC years. And it's a different thing.

They're much more trained. They weren't just crazy people like they were back then. He says, quote, obviously they're much it's a different thing. They're much more trained. They weren't just crazy people like they were back then. He says, quote, Obviously, they're focused on what they're doing. It's direct focus to what you're doing. The training is really serious and the rules are not the same. I wonder if anybody would show up any size guy like we did and not know who you're fighting. You didn't know if you were going to get a bigger guy than you, which that's true, too. Back then, they just give you a guy and it might be a guy who outweighs you by a hundred pounds and they're like you're fighting him now you don't even have time

to go no i'm not you're in the ring you could leave but i mean you don't that's not doesn't look good for you so you're just in there going i'll fight anybody you got which just seems insane to me let's get it on let's get it on uh there's youtube videos from this time period of him talking to kids uh doing karate demonstrations for these kids where he has classes and teaching them like what he like street stuff, kind of like, you know, useful shit. I'm not just like tournament fighting, like teaching them, like, you know, if you're on the street and this happens, you should do this. And one of his things, he said, quote, The youngest boy is nine. He's a blue belt and a triple A goalie. This is about him, his kids. I'm sorry. the youngest boy is nine. He's a blue belt and a triple-A goalie.

This is about him, his kids. I'm sorry, my youngest boy is nine. He's a blue belt and a triple-A goalie. So he follows in, both the kids follow in the fighting in karate and shit with their dad, but they both play hockey too, both the boys. And he said his oldest boy is 17. He's a full black belt and plays for a select team. I don't know what that is, but he plays in some high level of hockey.

He said, my daughter is 19 and in Western University. She's studying to be a psychologist so she can figure out what her father's problems are. So he's got a sense of humor. He beat me to it. Yeah, that's one of those things. I can find out what's wrong with my crazy ass while I still have this mullet for some reason. I don't know what's happening. Yeah.

So this is that's the article that was in 2009. That's early 2009. So that's a where are they now on Harold. Yeah. Remember that guy with the crazy UFC? And that's kind of fun. And this guy should have just waited six months to file his article or to write his article because, I don't know, this guy's whole life in 50 years, it was just kind of, it was what it was and he had a little mediocre

career in some karate and then he just went nuts overnight and this guy missed it by six months out of 50 years. October of 2009 is when things start kind of going off the deep end here. His wife, Elise, says that he started or alice or whatever now elise i don't know uh elise that's probably it's elise uh she said that howard started to lose his grip on everything reality and everything else in october of 2009 she said he insisted at one point that she was wearing her makeup differently and because of that accusing her of cheating on him like all the time he'd be like you don't you didn't ever wear you know

eyeshadow like that before and she's like same shit i always wear he's like god no you're looking for men and you're doing so shit's gotten crazy so that's that's like she's like what are you talking about you know when someone's not right yeah and you're just like i'm logic isn't going to get through to this person yeah there's no logic they're not on the same we're not in the same world here it's one of those so he started accusing her of cheating on him and like just out of nowhere about like for makeup shit one morning he was doing this uh he was accusing her of cheating because she was putting on her makeup in a way that he didn't like in a cheating way i guess you know how they that is women they got a little signal they'll do a little thing with He was accusing her of cheating because she was putting on her makeup in a way that he didn't like in a cheating way, I guess.

You know how that is. Women, they got a little signal. They'll do a little thing with their makeup when they're cheating. It's a little flutter on the side. It's a one little poop and you go, oh, that's a cheating one. It's like if you got a flower in your hair, you're single. Right. In Hawaii or whatever the fuck it is.

Same thing. So this time they're arguing about it and she's trying to tell him that I don't know what you're talking about. And he kicks her this time in the leg. Luckily, not luckily, not in the face. We know it's not going to go above the chest. And he probably fell down also. But he kicked her, which is not great. He kicked her in the in the in the thigh.

And he's a big guy who knows how to kick. So this wasn't just like a flailing kick. And, you know, she ended up with a big, giant bruise on her thigh from getting stomped on by a big giant guy. So that, that's not wonderful. Obviously domestic assault is not great. No.

And you would think, wow, hopefully maybe he'll get some help or get on some medication. That's a bad start to an unravel, but unfortunately he doesn't. And it only gets worse from here. In a, he's charged with assault for kicking her, which is good.

No, she called the cops. Absolutely. The Mounties came over with their little hats on and they showed up. They did. And it was really this big, powerful surrounded the house and they beat him with nightsticks. So Howard ends up he's released on bail from that because he doesn't have a big criminal record or anything like that he's released on bail and his wife is done with him at this point won't let him back in the house

so that was it for her she physical abuse was the last straw so good for her she's a fucking guy she told him yeah I'm not gonna have you and also if she looked into his eyes and he had the crazy thing going on and then she starts kicking at her she probably said yeah I'm that's about it next step is she's gonna put my head through a fucking wall and it is too if he escalated from accusations

to yelling to kicking next step is something worse and a step up like a little bit higher yeah she hits he hits her hip you can break it fuck her up good a little higher that's all internal organs and then what if he wants to punch her and then start putting her head through walls or the floors he's a big guy who knows how to fight. I don't know how big she is, but if she gets kicked in the side, shit, he could dislocate some. I bet she's not a three-time jujitsu champion also. That's the one thing. I haven't heard anything about any of her rewards for fighting styles or abilities.

So that, I'm going to say, is probably not it. So he is, like I said, released on bail. He ends up living with his sister at this point, but he's having problems. He's not sleeping. He's not working. He's not going out to work. He can't sleep. He can't do anything.

We knew he got laid off from that one job a few months earlier. Now he's got other problems. He can't sleep. He starts accusing everyone in the house of stealing his painkillers. So now he's got painkillers for his pain and he's accusing everyone around him of stealing him. So now he's getting like this crazy paranoid thing. She's cheating on me.

You're all stealing my painkillers. Everybody's against me. This is fucking bad news here. This is bad news here. Probably forgetting he's taken them and then losing. Oh, absolutely. That's the thing. He's losing his mind. He's losing his mind.

He's losing his mind. And who knows if there's some sort of he could have had two medications that don't mix that made him. That happens with people that two medications don't mix. They don't they don't even remember what the hell they're doing or something like that. One could be like he could have had a painkiller. He could have had like an antipsychotic. We have no idea what his what his regimen is here.

He could have had like an antipsychotic. We have no idea what his what his regimen is here. But police, though, would kept always driving by the ex-wife's house like they're that worried about her. They're like, we think he's going to be back. And in Canada, apparently they take this shit seriously. You know, even a few years ago, she wore a personal alarm like a little like a medical alert bracelet. Like all people have fallen and I can't get up and they press the button. That's what she wore on her on her arm and went right to the police that's a brilliant thing it is brilliant just in case he but that's how scared she was she said the phone's too far the phone isn't enough i might not be able to pick that up while

he's pummeling me i need to be able to just press a button and have the cops come here do they have that in america i'm sure they have well they have medic alert i'm sure they have a police alert probably i don't know i hope so i would think so that's a brilliant fucking tool it is a way to go great tool yeah way to go i mean i'm sure they have them here but you have to be you'd have to be really sure that someone's about to is after you to be wearing a police alert bracelet you know i'm sure there's a lot of those that's what i mean there's i'm sure there's a lot of spouses of crazy people who would love to have one of those so if those are available here uh and find one find one and get you one because that's not a bad idea uh she said this poor woman she's his ex-wife or his wife at this point quote

quote we were always looking over our shoulder i expected to be a target so she's very scared she's so scared she's got to wear an alert thing and she's there with her kids too obviously she's got a younger son, a teenage son. The daughter's at college, thankfully, for her. But it gets a little crazier. I should say a lot crazier. Let's just go ahead and say a lot crazier. How does it get crazier?

He's yodel-ee-hee-hoo. He's going up the wrong mountain now. He came down the other side, and now he's coming back up. They're going the wrong way. You can't go up that way. He's like, no, I'm fine. Yodely heehoo. He's fucking going, man.

December 9th, 2009. So that was October 2009, the shit with the wife. And in the next couple months between that, she's scared of him wearing an alert and all that. So December 9th, 2009, Howard shows up. It's Harold Howard. Shows up at the Toronto Star, which is a newspaper. Pretty big one. Shows up with a briefcase at the Toronto Star.

He looks like he's dressed in business clothing, but his clothes are worn out and old. And he doesn't look like... He looks like he tried... It's weird. Looks like Will Smith in the pursuit of happiness. Yeah yeah that's a good way to put it yeah like and his home was vacuum sales that's what it looked like but yeah like but he went to goodwill and he got one outfit but he's had it on a couple days and it's a little dusty you know what i mean it's one of those things kind of like in deadwood when everybody looks like they got like a layer of dust on them where they haven't

had a chance to get their suit cleaned. They hit it and dust it off and go out in the street. So also, in addition to his clothes being worn and looking a little bit out of place, something really that looks out of place in a business building is his knuckles are bruised and caked with dried blood. What? So when your knuckles are caked with dried blood, that tends to give people a red flag that you are probably a crazy person coming at them what have you been punching repeatedly over and over is that your blood is that your blood i hope so they're dried blood all bruised all fucked up he's wearing a faded out suit we're carrying a briefcase and then he said he announces at the toronto star uh and they said he was all hoarse, too.

His voice was all hoarse. He'd been yelling. Looks like he'd just been yelling and fighting for three days and then just took a briefcase and went to the Toronto Star. He's like a WWE villain. That's what he looks like. Yeah, like a crazy person. He says he announces that there is a plot to ruin his life.

That's what he announces to everyone. He claims to the Toronto Star. He's going to the press with this information now. This is very important. He claims to the Toronto Star. He's going to the press with this information now. This is very important. He's at the Toronto Star. He's at the newspaper to tell him about the plot against him. He might have made a phone call. Yeah, well, no, no, no.

You need to show up in person. You bring your briefcase, all your important documents, and you make sure you've punched a brick wall all morning. That's very important. And rolled around on the ground in your business clothes. Again, very important. He then says, this is his claim. You can't just go in and say there's a plot to ruin my life it's like yeah there's a plot everyone join the club asshole get online he needs to go into specifics so you know and you have to do this if you're going to go in and announce that get into specifics

he says that this is very reasonable um and I mean, honestly, this could be true. He's been injected with a liquid. Oh, boy. That hardened his veins and immobilizes him. So, I mean, that's who doesn't think that from time to time and who also doesn't think to go alert the press of this fact. That's the other thing. He then held out his shaky hands to see for proof. And they're like, oh oh your knuckles are all bloody and you're saying there's a plot against you that involves injections that harden your veins and

let's uh security yeah somebody please get this crazy fuck out of our goddamn building so uh if a man like that is standing and not shaking yeah that's what that's when you something's out of the ordinary he should be shaking absolutely you better be shaking and they said his eyes were just as big as you can be like you gotta help me like he believed what he was saying like they were like there is no doubt in our minds the way his eyes looked he 100 believed every word he was fucking saying which is absolutely fucking crazy so after they hold him out and hold his hands out and his eyes, and he's like, look, they're like, okay. And then he's escorted from the building pretty much immediately.

He left as he's leaving. He's like, all right, all right. He gets real calm. They start taking, he's like, you're not going to listen to me? All right, all right. And he goes, he nods his head a bunch of times real fast. And he goes on to plan B then. What?

Which I don't know. What the fuck? What was that plan? That was plan A. Okay. Plan A was alert the press, uncover the whole thing and just blow out of the water this conspiracy that's been leveled against him at the highest levels of government and the civil, sir, everybody. Everybody's involved in this, Jimmy.

Society, the government, it's all one thing.'s involved in this, Jimmy society, the government. It's all one thing. Okay. U S government, Canadian government. It's a Northern America intercontinental packed to take the sky down with a mobilizing vein hardening injectable drugs. So very, very deep plot. I mean, this is cool.

This is deep state shit right here. This is what people are talking about. This is not, it has nothing to do with anything else. It just has to do with Harold Howard. And it got confused and people have taken it run the wrong direction. So now. Yeah. He he's escorted on the plan B.

Yeah. And they're like, I sincerely hope plan B doesn't involve us at all. I think is what everybody thought. Let's just hope plan B involves anyone else but us here. So he walks out on the street and he's like, plan B, motherfucker. Let's just hope Plan B involves anyone else but us here. So he walks out on the street and he's like, Plan B, motherfucker, that's right. Imagine this guy, they kick him out on the street,

shove him out and straighten himself out and there's a briefcase in his hand and he's like, Plan B? Well, it's his knuckles on his pants. Walks away calmly thinking, Plan B, right now, Plan B, if only I need to work out Plan B. What the fuck is plan B? He's walking down the street. Well, plan B, as he sits to ponder plan B, he sits and he's pondering plan B. If there's three things old Harold Howard likes in this world, it's bloodying up his knuckles.

He does that in the morning just as it wakes him up. It's like coffee. He likes to expose a good conspiracy plot. You bet. And he likes dogs, mister. And he hears some coming and he gets very excited to pet them. And it's Bobby Colorado, animal trainer from Fredericksburg, Texas. And he says.

How is it you come to arrive here? What the fuck is wrong with you? Now, I'm looking at you and you come from Canada. There's a lot of room up there. You could have got five, six, seven dogs that could have been running around. You could have had a beautiful life with kids and dogs running around. Your wife, you got a nice thing going on. Instead, you're going in bad knuckle, punching somebody.

You got a problem with somebody. That's why you got a nice trained dog. You keep the guy back. He comes. He wants to punch you under a rope. You go, hey, get him. And then bark, bark, bark. And then the guy fucking runs away. That's how you got a nice trained dog. You keep the guy back. He comes. He wants to punch you under a rope. You go, hey, get him. And then bark, bark, bark.

And then the guy fucking runs away. That's how it works. Hey, get him. Hey, yo, get him. And then he latches onto his shin. And then you come in and you get him with a left and a right. And then you and the dog, you're tag team champions of the world. That's all I'm going to say right now.

You fucking disgust me. I got to say, cut your hair. You look like a fucking scumbag. No wonder why he's unemployed. I wouldn't hire you neither. I wouldn't hire you to pick up my dog's shit. I wouldn dog shit i wouldn't i wouldn't either they shit everywhere too i could use a guy but not you poof and in a in a puff of marinara sauce and dog shit he's gone and harold's like he's part of the conspiracy i knew it i knew it yeah cut your hair i knew it see i told you i done knew everything about me, and I never met that man before. God damn, I know that's not a Canadian accent.

I normally love doing a Canadian accent, too, but this guy's ginger mullet makes me have to do a panhandle accent. It's so hard not to. How do you give that man a Canadian accent? You can't. You just can't. He just looks crazy. So, by the way, that seems crazy, right? Well, let's find out plan B.

Oh, boy. Plan B has nothing to do with the newspaper. Luckily for them, has to do with his family. Unluckily for them. Oh, no. This is December 22nd, 2009. So, holiday season in full effect. Fucking lights up.

Rudolph in the front yard. Oh, my God. The tree is up. There's presents under it. The whole deal here. It's in Niagara Falls. People are awoken in the front yard. The tree is up. There's presents under it. The whole deal here. It's in Niagara Falls. People are awoken in the middle of the night by screams, by blood curdling, ear piercing screams. OK, you know what these screams were?

These screams were Harold attacking his sister and nephew with a claw hammer. Holy shit. With the claw end of a fucking hammer attacking them, which is batshit. Okay, let's find out exactly what happened here. He's staying in his sister's home. It's on Muir Ave in Niagara Falls. This escalated quickly, right? Way fast.

This went from, oh, that's kind of funny to, ooh, that's a little crazy to, what the fuck? Oh, God, the sun has blood on their hands. Totally. This is the top of the mountain here. Well, close to the top of the mountain here well close to the top of the mountain it gets worse oh boy so uh uh yeah his nephew here was getting milk out of the refrigerator just normal getting milk out of the refrigerator when out of nowhere howard just attacks him with the claw side of a hammer that's the side you pull nails out with so you don't want to get

attacked with that side of a fucking this is a roofer he knows his way around the fucking hammer he knows his way around he knows a framing hammer from a finishing hammer. That's a waffle one there. That's a framing hammer. You're bringing me an attack hammer. That's a finishing piece of shit. It's going to slide right off there. So Harold hits him six times with the claw side of a fucking hammer.

Holy shit. In the end, the nephew will require uh like 35 stitches to close the gash on his head and then another uh bunch of stitches to close a wound on his hand and another bunch to close some other wound on his arm because he's gotten attacked with a claw hammer by a giant lunatic so at this point howard's sister enters the room the boy's mother yeah and then says hey why you beating my son with a fucking hammer? Which is a fair question, I would say at that point. And her son is screaming at that point here.

So then he turns around and goes, oh, hey, sis, and starts whacking her with the fucking hammer, too. So then he now attacks. He attacks her with the hammer and she fell to the ground. he attacks her with the hammer and she fell to the ground. She has a broken finger, a gash over her right eye, and a bunch of cuts, so she requires a bunch of stitches, too. It's at this point, when Howard is beating his sister with the hammer, that the nephew, this is a full, speaking of ECW,

this is a full, I mean, New Jack's going to walk in any minute with a shopping cart full of weapons. This is fucking crazy. The nephew from behind smashes a chair over his head good god i swear to god the nephew was folding i really hope it was i hope he folded it and then gave it like a showed it to the crowd and then really just clang over the back of his head either way he fucking attacks howard with a chair and starts beating him over the back with a chair which is a good weapon sure it's A chair. It's not bad. If you can keep a lion away from you with it, a washed up MMA fighter with a claw hammer

is going to be nothing. So this ends the attack. Apparently, you hit him with a chair. It's like a shark. You're supposed to punch him in the face and they swim away. Punch him in the snout. You hit him in the face. So you hit him with a chair and they run away.

Got it. So he then leaves the house, runs out of the house, gets in his car and drives off oh no very stable driving the streets right now uh he drives to his wife's house his wife and son where they live on carmen street and first of all he pulls in bashes into her car with his car right away of course just to i'm here that'll get your that'll get attention you gotta announce yourself yeah when you hear a giant smash you go someone's here shit uh so uh he strikes here pull uh the three thousand dollars worth of damage to her car by the way from doing that he then he then goes up to the front door banging on it try and open it screaming you ruined my life you ruined my life while screaming and trying as hard as he can to open the front door.

Oh, Jesus. Which sounds like about the scariest fucking thing possible, especially because I have a feeling that when the sister got attacked with the claw hammer and he ran out, she probably called this one and said, just a heads up, Harold may be on his way over to you, and he means business. Get a chair and get ready to throw down because it's happened. I'm going to head to the hospital and close these wounds on my face.

Tell your son to grab a chair and be ready. That's all I'm going to say. So he's screaming, you ruined my life there. She goes to the door and goes to look out the front window. And he's right there, three inches away on the other side of the glass she said quote i found myself face to face with him which she was very scared he she said he his eyes were crazy he was in a full fucking rage pounding on the door it's at that point his son came and yelled at him through the window of what the fuck are you doing dad you're scaring mom this is crazy why are you scaring us why are you doing

this so howard at that point runs away gets in the car takes off again he's like you're right i'm out of here his son was the thing that that made him like he he got embarrassed i think maybe or one of those things like everything's fine then his kid his own son something about your kids or you don't want to feel like i don't know what it is it does suck when they say anything in the middle of a fight. Yeah. You bastard. You just really diffuse the whole situation. I'm a piece of shit. You're right. And especially if you're pounding on the door like a psychopath with a bloody hammer in your hand.

I think you might see what's... But he doesn't come to his senses. Let's not get crazy here. Where's he going now? He doesn't relax and calm his rage down or anything. He just goes on to the next stop, okay? At some point, and while he's driving away too, he smashes into some other car and drives off.

So that's fine. Then the police get a radio call. There's a cop at a hospital and he gets a radio call that now there's a chase. They are chasing him. They locate him driving his pickup truck and he ain't stopping for him. He's on a pursuit.

They said he reaches speeds of 110 kilometers uh in a fifth 30 miles i think it's like 22 miles an hour in a 50 kilometer zone so either way he's going twice the speed limit which is probably dangerous if you're going 70 in a 35 that's not great so uh yeah so jesus christ man. This is fucking crazy so far. Now, they're chasing him through. He hits another car, by the way, during the chase. He's fleeing. Finally, they find him in the north end of Niagara Falls, and they kind of corner him,

and they try to get him to stop, but he weaves through and busts out of there and keeps on driving. So, this is... Oh, boy. It's getting... Benny Hill music is playing, and there's his mullets in the wind yeah i hear duke's a hazard i hear just a good old boy he's gonna jump whistling dick yeah he's gonna jump a big uh you know a big valley and then the enos is gonna come behind him and crash because his car can't make it you know i feel like that's

what's gonna happen now and boss hog going, you get them Duke boys. So they try to stop him. He keeps going. And normally they say they would kind of, you know, back off at this point. But they're like, they know he's been attacking people with a hammer. So they're like, we need to keep an eye on this guy. Make sure he doesn't go back to the other house or just decide somebody else needs a hammer beating. Who the fuck knows who he's got beef with? This guy's out's out of his mind yeah maybe the guy who laid him off from roofing you ruined my life too who the hell knows uh so he's pretty he's he refuses to stop uh he does

stop eventually i wouldn't call it a voluntary stop necessarily uh he goes to the falls view casino in niagara falls and uh what he does does is not slow down and crash his pickup truck through the front doors of a casino. Wow. Drives into the casino because he went right through the front doors. Very Sylvester Stallone over the top going through Robert Loge's mansion. Fine. So this is a very over the top kind of story here.

He goes into this fucking casino, smashes through the door, almost makes it to the gaming floor. Oh, my God. It stops just short of the gaming floor when it hits a pole. So he fucking drives his truck into a casino, and it just kind of peters out, hits a pole, and literally there was slot machines 10 feet from there. He could have just plowed into the whole bank of them and oxygen tanks would have went everywhere would have been a goddamn disaster uh so yeah he uh he glanced off the fountain in the lobby first by the way so he hit the fountain knocked that over and that's what careened him off into a pole it's so weird when you're driving

in a casino you never know what kind of fancy shit they're gonna put up fountains come out of nowhere completely impede your way it's like you can't even drive in a casino anymore in this country. It's fucking ridiculous. It would have been great if he drove that shit off the falls. That would have been amazing. That's how you do it, sir. That would have been the greatest ending to us. Then he flew off Niagara Falls and died.

Thank you very much for joining us, everybody. That would have been a... That's almost... Steve Howe almost did that. Yeah. He had his car roll over on his head, is just as good almost but not intentional this is the most mma thelma louise shit minus louise or minus thelma if he gunned it off the walls that would have been gorgeous amazing that would have been beautiful beating himself with the hammer on the

way ding ding ding so uh no patrons are hurt somehow. Somehow that particular thing happened to be clear that one second where nobody was there and he didn't get to the gaming floor and nobody was hurt. He was quickly taken into custody, too, because he was all disoriented from a fucking car accident. They took him into custody fine. Once they got him, he didn't do anything. He didn't try to fucking hit anybody with a hammer or throw a lame spin kick on anybody or anything. Well, his drive is very much like his spin kick. He tried it and it didn't work. It didn't work.

I gave it a shot and it didn't work for me. He's charged with two counts of attempted murder, two counts of assault with a weapon, attempted break and enter, failure to remain, flight from police, dangerous operation of a motor vehicle, mischief, and two counts of breach of recognizance from his last deal when he was released on recognizance. Got it. So that's like a parole, that's like a bail violation there. He tells police

that he doesn't remember a fucking thing that happened. He says, I don't remember at all what happened. Don't know? No defense. Don't know. And for him, that's so crazy that you go, I don't think he does remember he might not that's such a psychotic episode that you you go so out of character and crazy uh the the niagara regional police staff sergeant said quote thank god it wasn't a friday

night we were extremely fortunate not more people were around a couple of people had to duck out of the way but we could have had some serious problems if it had been a few hours earlier or on another day. There were serious injuries to the victims of the initial assaults, but not life-threatening at this point. There were head injuries and lacerations to arms and hands. They were taken to hospital and tests were being done. So, I mean, if there was a big glut of people at the beginning of the casino he could have killed 30 fucking old people there that could have been horrible i mean that would have been awful i don't know and you think like the sister she's kind of afraid of him and knows at least she's got an idea oh shit he might snap they're just in a goddamn casino getting plowed through

with a truck i feel bad for those i feel bad for all these people, Jimmy. I really do. But not nearly as bad as I feel. Oh, Jesus. For Harold Howard. Oh, no. Corporate controller at Save a Tree in the greater New York City area. It's a financial services thing. He's the corporate controller there.

Harold Howard, executive chief at M-A-S-A-N-I Gourmet Southern Cuisine, which is an executive chief. Executive chef, I meant to say. I was going to say executive chief officer, and I'm like, there's no officer. Executive chef at a gourmet southern cuisine restaurant in the greater Atlanta area, which we will be in for Small Town Murder. So maybe we'll stop by and see Harold Howard and apologize to him for his terrible name. Buckhead Theater. Get your tickets. They're almost gone.

They are. They really are almost gone. He went to Loyola Marymount University and has never attacked anyone with a hammer, as far as I know. Harold Howard, the maintenance supervisor at the Lincoln Property Company in Colorado Springs, Colorado. There you go. It's a real estate company.

Harold Howard, the president and CEO of Allied Financial Inc. in the greater Los Angeles area. Very important man there. CEO and president. And president of a large financial corporation. Very different from a Canadian mulleted roofer with a hammer issue. I like how before he said there ain't no hammers or nails in the roof of the copper thing. And later on he's like, I want to hammer something. God damn it, I ain't no hammers or nails in the roof of the copper thing and later on he's

like i want to hammer something god damn it i ain't had a chance to hammer so make a nail out of you god damn it so uh also finally harold howard a pastor at warren hill church in uh virginia i believe uh so uh all those uh counts we we mentioned there the two counts of attempted murder etc he faces up to 25 years in prison for all of these things. Those are all very serious charges. In mid-January 2010, he goes to court. He appears in court here to plead guilty to all of these charges or lower versions of these charges. It's going to be aggravated assault, assault causing bodily harm, dangerous driving, failure to remain at the scene of an accident mischief and breach of a court order uh he does

not have a lawyer he is representing himself that's never good never a good idea and always a sign of mental illness always uh he said though he made it clear to the judge that he understood the charges and he wanted to proceed without a lawyer they said are you sure we can get you a lawyer legal aid lawyer we'll have we'll have somebody here in 10 fucking minutes just uh maybe you want to ask him a question maybe just the paperwork you fill it out you go i don't know what to say here and they said nope nope i'm good obviously i'm legal scholar obviously clearly i'm a legal scholar uh so uh he was kept in handcuffs in the prisoner's box which means you can't be an effective attorney i feel like while you're handcuffed, I said he understood his options, but he wanted to have his case heard on that Friday.

He was initially counted. They had brought it up to 25 charges. They had him with and then they ended up. They ended up reducing or withdrawing him down to what we said. Pleads guilty. Like we said, what we told him about what we told you about uh his sister and nephew uh give him victim impact statements which is not great uh she had you know they have bloody gashes and all that shit that sounded terrible and it's almost worse to

hear impact statement yeah people that had a hammer impact their fucking especially someone close to them his sister was letting him live at his house when his wife kicked him out for being a psychopath the statement i wanted my impact statement is dong dong that's how it felt and that's the noise i heard i heard boom and then i hit the ground and i heard pow and that was the impact so uh his sister uh his sister said that she lives in a constant state of fear and now can't sleep anymore and is basically scared in her own home 24 hours a day. She said, quote, my life has been torture. Sounds bad. His wife and son also submitted impact statements, but they weren't read in court.

She submitted them to the judge so they could get a little more. They didn't make a son give an impact statement to their father, which is good. That's kind of shitty to the kid uh his uh his sister said quote i blame no one for him but him for the whole thing he's the one who chose to take the drugs he's saying he was fucked up on drugs this whole time that's his excuse i don't remember shit i was all fucked up i have a lot of pain uh possibly some brain damage we'll see so. So April of 2010 in court there at the prosecution is asking to give a jail sentence of 56 months in addition to the 117 days of pretrial custody that he served. His wife watched him plead guilty. And she said, quote, If there was some reason that

caused you to do these things, you would show remorse. That's what she told her husband. That was her statement to him. And before the questioning and he hasn't shown any remorse at all. None. He just said I was fucked up like they don't know why he did it. He just did it. And then they're like, why did you do it? He's like, I don't know.

Like, just it's the weirdest fucking number. I don't know. My brain is fucked. He said he he made a statement to the court telling the judge that this is not his normal behavior. This is certainly not normal behavior for me. I don't know what the fuck happened. Blah, blah, blah. Then he asked if he could serve his sentence in a facility out west, explaining, he says, I have no future in the Niagara region. Nobody here wants to talk to me. My wife and son don't want to talk to me. None of my kids.

Nobody cares about me. Can I please just go out west by myself and be done there? And then he said, he asked if someone could retrieve his tools from his former residence, which they're like, no, you're not getting any. You want a hammer? That's what you're asking me to get you another hammer. No, you can't have a hammer. Not allowed.

All your hammers are going to stay there. Sorry about that. The judge told him that, quote, these are very serious offenses which had significant impact on people close to you. And he also said that these people and other people around him once held him in high esteem and he has let them down severely. You, sir, may fuck off five years in prison for him it's 56 months it's not quite five years but sounds five years sounded better than 56 months yeah uh five years basically if you add in a half if you add in what he did the 117 he did it's pretty close to because it was whatever so uh he is also in addition to that prohibited from owning any weapons or firearms for life

so he's not allowed to i don't even know if a hammer counts as that because i'm a roofer they're like no hammers for you i'm sorry you can get a big shoe and use the heel no to hammer those fucking no no yeah those are all weapons man uh he's also ordered to supply police with his dna to keep on file in case some other crazy shit goes on who knows uh also uh they're they're talking about afterwards he talks about how the uh the getting hit by the car was the thing that fucked him all up and turned his whole shit around because that's what got him really into uh the oxy oxycontin all that shit and uh gabapentin i don't know what that is uh for pain uh gabapentin i don't know what the shit that is maybe it's some canadian thing i don't know i don't know what that is for pain. Gabapentin.

I don't know what the shit that is. Maybe it's some Canadian thing. I don't know. I'm not a drug guy. I have no idea. I'm not a pharmacist. Prednisone for inflammation, which I've heard is just an inflammation thing.

And sleeping pills also he was taking. So he's taking this crazy cocktail. We don't know how they're reacting to each other. And he said that was the big deal. He said once he couldn't fight anymore, he started taking painkillers so he could still teach because he still had to do the moves and he couldn't do them because he was fucked up but he wanted to still teach uh his students said in the classroom he always preached passiveness over aggressiveness unless you're cornered one of his students said quote he would say when you're up against somebody who is going to hurt you you have

to fight like you're going home in a cop car or an ambulance. Which one do you want to be in? And this is on YouTube, too. There's a thing here. And he says, quote, I'm always sitting in the police car because I can stop myself. So he's talking about rather than being in the ambulance. Both are bad endings. Both are bad endings.

The thing would be, how do you avoid ending up in either one of those places? That would be the thing. But he says, nope, you're going to, obviously, if you go out, you're going to end up in an ambulance or a police car. Now, that's just how it's going to end up. None of us can go out without that happening. That's just the way the world is. So you got to choose which one you're going to end up in.

So pick that shit before you leave the house that night. Be ready. That's all I'm saying. So, yeah, he says he says quote you can't excuse some actions this is about him one of his students says that liked him this was a student that was saying i don't get it like he always told us to not be crazy and aggressive and then he's he didn't mention anything about hammers it's really weird he said quote you can't excuse some actions you just hope it was a moment of insanity that's not who he was well it happened

so i mean it's gonna define him it's gonna define him uh his wife hopes that he gets help in jail uh ex-wife now but she doesn't think his sentence was long enough no i don't know i don't either yeah that's he almost he could have killed them with that fucking thing very easily and then he's driving around he could have killed more people like fuck she said quote it was terrible why he chose to attack them nobody knows i don't think anybody ever will uh which is true and uh that's it for harold he's out there right now uh he's out of prison i know because uh can't get enough of harold follow him on twitter oh my god he's got a twitter and uh he's gonna kill us probably yeah uh it is at harold howard mma well he can't kill him he can't kill us now he's

got no weapons for him so he's probably not allowed in the u.s either so he's got weapons howard i'm not scared of you no no he's an old man he's in his 50s now not an old man he still kicked the shit out of either one of us i'm sure if i shot him he wouldn't feel it no he's drugged up you just keep coming at you like a zombie so you can follow him there uh his his little uh you know his profile thing is quote fight fuck nearly die we've got a saying back home that is if you're coming on come on so he embraces that shit uh he's tweeted 292 times he's following 348 people only has 279 followers oh no and uh so. And so he's not doing well on Twitter. It's all mainly just him answering questions like a conversation, but it's not good.

He's not a good tweeter. He's not good on Twitter. He's an old man. He's an older guy, and he's Canadian. He's still a roofer, for fuck's sake. Yeah, he's trying to figure that out. He's trying to figure out copper roofing technology, never mind this. And if you really can't get enough of howard if you want

to be the howard's biggest fan you can get a howard t-shirt yeah they have a harold howard tribute shirt it's on cafe press uh it is a picture of him like a black and white mullet flowing oakley's on looking mean and it says if you're coming on dot dot dot that's the fucking that's the thing so that's a great fucking shirt that's that's a wonderful shirt 28.95 for that shirt it's it's well worth it's 5.99 shipping and handling who gives a shit it's his face is right there it's beautiful and uh holy shit that's harold howard wow and that's a crazy young mma from the the young ufc yeah uh beginnings that's a story that i looked at for a while and i'm just like i don't know if it's anything so sad and then you read more and it's so sad that just the the d steps down the devolution of this

guy just evolves over time it's really fucking sad hey james what can they do if they like that story if they like that story? If they like that story, I got an idea of what they could do. They can go over to iTunes, Apple Podcasts, whatever the shit that is. They can give us five goddamn stars. Tell us they're following instructions, following directions. It doesn't really matter. In addition

to that, if they want to be even bigger heroes, go over to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com. Get your goddamn tickets to live small-town murder shows. They're going fast. They're winter shows in cold-weather cities. Like we said, we could have a goddamn puppet show, and people are going to show up. So get your tickets now.

They just want to be inside where it's fucking warm. San Francisco, fill it up. We're almost done. We're almost done. And we're almost there. We're almost there. Yeah, that's next week. We're coming in two weeks.

It'll be sold out by the time we get there before Halloween. That's our next show. And Phoenix, Arizona, November the 3rd, Stand Up Live. Those especially. Get those because we had very little time

to sell those tickets. So make sure you get those and get in there to see us. That would be wonderful. Follow us over on social media. It's at Crime and Sports on Twitter, at Crime and Sports

on Facebook, and it is at Small Town Murder on Instagram. That's right. And you can just find those links over at ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com. You know what else you can find over at ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com? Why don't you tell them? You can find links to Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports and also PayPal, where you use our email address, which is CrimeAndSports at Gmail.com. where you use our email address, which is crimeandsportsatgmail.com,

and you can make a one-time donation there and be one of our goddamn hero, wonderful, fabulous producers who Jimmy's about to tell me about right goddamn now. This week's executive producers are Candace Kennedy, Craig Cole, and Chrissy Ann Castaldi, a bunch of Cs. You alliterative motherfuckers. Thank you. We appreciate that. And Jennifer Thomas, Joanna James, Michelle Jolly, and Meg Smith.

Thank you guys so much for coming through. That's so much. Make your names have the same letters, though. But thank you. No, honestly, thank you very much. The zookeepers, Court and Jacob up at the, what is that? It's in Nashville, right? Knoxville.

Knoxville. Knoxville Zoo. Yeah, we have our penguin and our tiger up here in the studio. The tiger, I don't know if it's the same tiger, but one of the tigers died. Oh, shit. Well, we have a painting and it could be now, if he died, that's art's worth a lot more when the artist died.

I think it was one of the orange and black ones. I'm sad a tiger had to die. That's really sad shit. Dalton is a bitch. Dalton, you bitch-ass. How polite I said that. Yeah, dalton is a bitch he said like a you were calling someone's name like dalton is a bitch your order's ready real proper like yeah uh sean hartley uh scott wiles cammy j she donated two times by the way through paypal and then

through uh also thank you so much that's insane mr mj you. Mr. M.J. Gooding. Bill. Fuck. Sosinski. That's it. Hey. He donated twice on PayPal. Wow. Thank you, man.

Appreciate that. Kelly Higby. Logan. Logan. Zweifelhofer. Wow. That's it. Jesse Hartman.

Amy. Amy. Amy R. Eichard. Barbara Pagani. The one that sent us the. Yeah. Thank you so much, Barb. Tons of toilet paper. That's road paper. Road paper. You betcha. Road shit tickets. uh barbara pagani the one that sent us the the ass wipe thank you so much barb yeah tons of

toilet paper that's road paper road paper you betcha uh road shit tickets road shit tickets natalie moore carol uh dannenhofer that's a lot of hoffers already this week she's often elizabeth elizabeth yarwood gary howard reagan uh shalke uh stephanie agoa uh angela miller lauren demirath matt uh matt dietrich uh crystal lamb cat power again up in new york thank you Stephanie Agoa, Angela Miller, Lauren Demerath, Matt Dietrich, Crystal Lamb, Cat Power, again up in New York. Thank you, Cat. I hope you're doing better. Elizabeth Wolfinger.

Either way. Both are good. They're both great. Margie Kunze, Bryant Toole, Justin Miller, Kate Ives, Tyler Hales, or better known as Cheeto. Sure. Good for you, Cheeto. Give us money, you're Cheeto to me. You're Cheeto all day long. Christian Perry. You'll known as Cheeto. Sure. Good for you, Cheeto. Give us money, you're Cheeto to me.

You're Cheeto all day long. Christian Perry. You'll always be Cheeto to me. Under the Sea Fabrics, if you're a cross-stitcher, go see her. Jessica Willis. Katie Heisel. Again, thank you so much for coming out in Portland. It was good to see you.

Robert Roberts. No, Rob Roberts. It's probably Robert Roberts. Robert Roberts and Howard Howard, his brother. Jill Williams. Jake Laskanis. lonnie hall lindsey bullfinch and casey uh hundle oh wow that's a couple oh thank you uh richard strout uh tira tira tequila ah you bastard that's fucking ruining me tim it's tila tequila with the R's because you look like an asshole when you say it like that. So they got me to look like an asshole. Thank you.

Whatever. They gave us money. They paid for it, so it's fine. John Levitt, Nicola Elliott, happy birthday. Sharon Lugoni, yes. Karen M. Spence, Nick Graham, Bob Daly, Danny Cav, I think that's a cave. Could be a cave. It's C-A-V. Danny, thank you, Bob Daly, Danny Cav. I think that's a cave.

Could be cave. It's CAV. Danny, thank you. Who knows? Thank you. Victoria Gabay, Alison Thorpe, Noah Wooten, Cameron. Fuck, what did I do? Fransman.

That's what that is. Hey, there you go. Tara Mariko. Kanye. No. Kanye. Kanye. Kanye. Probably.

Kanye Allen. Ben Story. You can blame Kanye West for that. Yeah. Kanye. Kanye. Kanye. Probably. Kanye Allen. Ben Story. You can blame Kanye West for that. Yeah. I saw that in your eyes. Like, this isn't Kanye. He didn't give us money, did he? Rocio Valdez.

Michael Maloney. No, Mahoney. Mahoney. That was the Goots name in fucking Police Academy. Mahoney. Mahoney, yeah. Patience Cole. Goots it up.

Ricky Dickey. The Impish Artist. Nicole Rivas. Jessica Dowd. Kelly. Kelly Powell. police academy yeah patience ricky dicky uh the impish artist nicole revis uh jessica dowd kelly kelly kelly powell uh christina carpenter joanne mccauley joanne mccauley goodman how why do i i'm an idiot hannah barwick katie guenzales guenzales uh dustin dustin hines adam mcwaters jennifer provan sinfully delightful clean eating and i found out that's not a business it's just what she likes to do and kibberly bomb thank you guys so much for being such amazing people we can't do it without you thank you thank you thank you yeah we can't you're it you're it guys honestly you're the shit and uh we love you

and just a little hint we're working on possibly getting some crime and sports live in the future wouldn't that be great we're working on that because i've never had so much fun as doing that show the best show and i've honestly in my years of doing comedy and everything else i've never seen an audience react like that to anything else it does so well that i've ever seen seen like it seems it seems like we've paid people to laugh that much it's and even then they wouldn't have that much energy an hour and 40 minutes into it and they do so that's a lot of fun thank you guys so much for doing that and what if they wanted to thank you Jimmy and tell you how much fun you are how could they do that you can find me at

Wisman sucks wh is man sucks on Twitter Instagram and Snapchat and I really really like hearing from you guys it's uh it's my really, really like hearing from you guys. It's my highlight of my week. So thank you guys for everything. What about you? Yes, it's a lot of fun. And if you want to hit me up, very easy to do at Jimmy P is funny on Twitter and all that. And you can copy and paste my last name from the show description if you want to find it the other way and get crazy about it.

We're going to get you on Instagram. Just guess it. Yeah, I'm on there. I just have to start doing it. I have no time. It's either this or that. And I need to do maybe a once a week thing on there I can do. That's the difficulty with that fucking website.

It's so hard. You've got to put something up. Yeah, maybe once a week if I can do it. I'm going to figure it out. I'll get on there, god damn it, and I'll be on there saying hi to you people. We appreciate the shit out of you. Thank you so much, everybody.

And live from the Crime and Sports Studios, we will see you next week. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience.

Quickly, I see that. The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases.

She wanted to fight me. Leave her. A-long. Okay, so... This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor.

You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award-winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all-new season.

It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie.