Crime in Sports - #141 - Legally Gross - The Lewdness of Mike McBain

Episode Date: December 10, 2018

This week, we check out a guy who seemed completely benign to outside observer. He accomplished his dream of making it to the NHL, even if his career wasn't the most distinguished. The problem was, there was something truly evil, beneath the surface. His crimes are shocking, and his punishment isn't quite satisfactory. He ends up being a guy who is excessively easy to dislike!!Live every Canadian boy's dream, retire with dignity by learning to be a coach on your chosen team, and end up being thought of as a lewd, gross monster with Mike McBain!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.comGo to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!Contact us on...twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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It's an all-new season. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports. Yay! Yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed. My name is James Fetcher Gallo. I'm here with my co-host. Yay, indeed, Jimmy. Yay, indeed. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I am Jimmy Wissman. We are so happy to be here today.

We need this. This is good. It's going to be a nice recharge going into a crazy weekend. Oh, boy. Of four shows and four nights and four very different places, four very faraway cities from each other. Very similar climate, and it's going to be brutal. Cold, brutal, rainy. It's supposed to be rainy in all similar climate, and that's going to be brutal. Cold, brutal, rainy.

It's supposed to be rainy in all these places. So it's going to be fun. This week, by the way, what we're talking about, if you want to go see us live, do a small town murder live, you can do that. Boston this Thursday, the 13th of December. We are in Boston at the Wilbur, and then we are in Chicago on Friday. We are in Detroit on Saturday, and we are going to be in Silver Spring, Maryland on Sunday. Correct.

Yes. So come to one of those shows. You know where you can find tickets to that? Shut up and give me murder.com. You know it, Jimmy. Shut up and give me murder.com. You can get all the tickets to your live shows. You can get crime and sports and small-time murder merchandise, of course.

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Oh, Jesus. Jesus, that's sad. Also, that's a sorry state of affairs. Jimmy walking around with seven pairs of leggings on. That's sad. They look like sweatpants because you've made the thickness of them. Other things you can do over at ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com. I don't know if there's a link to it, but either way, go over to iTunes, purple icon thing there, Apple Podcasts, whatever it is, and give us a review.

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uh by the way last week was a wild episode we got a lot of feedback on that more feedback than we usually do from like an unknown person yeah when we do somebody like we do maurice claret everyone's like oh i remember this holy shit that's crazy and we get a lot of feedback obviously and the more famous the more feedback is where we're certainly we're ensnaring more of the bar, whatever. But usually the last week people were fascinated by. I was fascinated by Jesus Christ. We're just fascinated by what an asshole he was. He was a that was a crazy ass episode of murder.

And he doesn't get caught for years. And he's he's just like, I'm a good guy now. And too bad I killed a guy a month before I had this renaissance as a human being. Damn. If only I would have just a month earlier. The amount of people that sent us the records of all of his opponents was staggering. Thank you guys for doing that. Well, we already told you all the records.

They were like, how is that possible? They added them all up and gave us the totals. The cumulative records. There was like 13 people that did that. Thank you guys so much. Thank you guys. That's funny as hell and crazy. But yeah, tonight we have this guy.

When you play asshole or idiot, as we do here, this guy lands 100% on the side of asshole. Oh, boy. All asshole, baby. He is chock full of asshole, we'll say. All right. Not a lot of idiot here. Well, I mean, what he did was stupid, but it's also evil. So good guy here. We have never throughout this whole episode. I'd like you to never utter the phrase my kind of guy. Just don't

because you're going to fucking regret it in an hour and it's going to be not cool. You're going to go, Oh, he's not my kind of guy at all. No, no, no. Change my mind. Okay. It is Michael Brian McBain. Mike McBain. Oh. He's a hockey player. I went to a high school with a kid named Mike McBain.

You're not from... No. He's from Kimberly, British Columbia. How old is he? He's close to our age. Really? January 12th, 77 he's born. No, no.

He's a kid who would have been younger. Yeah, he's a few years older than you. But still, he's from British Columbia. So he never lived in Phoenix. Got it. OK. But yeah, born January 12, 1977. Mike McBain is. Kimberly, British Columbia, which we'll talk about here.

He grows up, by the way, to be a pretty big guy. He's a defenseman in hockey, by the way. 6'2", 200 pounds in that ballpark. So, you know, good-sized cat. Solid. For the rink yeah he's uh now kimberly i looked it's like very close to washington state so it's not like way up in the north pole or anything like that this is on the west side this is yeah british columbia it's a

north of washington state here uh from 1917 to 2001 it was the home to the world's largest zinc mine oh so that's the kind of joint we're talking about here it's a hard scrabble place where everybody works the zinc mine apart from centrum what is zinc for i am not positive exactly besides besides old old man vitamins i'm not sure what you put zinc into i really am not positive but they'll mine the shit out of it here banking on centrum having some longevity the centrum economy is what they're going for like people are living longer these days that's gonna happen they're gonna need their zinc we'll dig that shit up to the end of kingdom come here from the sullivan mine was the mine that it was there uh mike has a brother named jason who also ends up making it to the nhl really

yes uh jason they're they seem real similar for a while and then you're like oh they're not similar at all after a minute you're like that's not similar the one similar thing they have already is that neither of them want to mine zinc i don't think so probably not especially when i talk tell you what happened to their grandfather while mining zinc i don't think really i don't think they want to mine zinc so much. There was a zinc catastrophe? Not a catastrophe, we'll call it, but a slow catastrophe, we'll say. A slow-moving coup here on someone's body. But these two, it's funny, too, that they're like brothers, like Canadian brothers. He said, like, everywhere, when he grew up, everybody, there was no cars ever.

No one had a car, like, in the whole town. They just walked? It was all pickup trucks. Oh, Jesus. It's all trucks. There's no cars ever no one had a car like in the whole town they just walk it's all pickup trucks oh it's all trucks there's no cars you know like later on when they talked to him he's there and said what you know there's an interview what's in your cd player because this was like 2004 and uh he's like nothing but country garth brooks and this one i don't know country people but country stuff he said trucks and country music you were really pushing for me to say he's my kind of guy i'm tempting you jimmy i'm tempting you uh he named off a bunch of country people too and if i remembered them you'd probably have already hit you with i dig him he's my kind of guy yeah pick up trucks country

music he's just that kind of cat here uh him and his brother growing up running around in the woods fucking playing hockey when they can not in the the woods, I assume. It's hard to play hockey with trees around. You need a clearing for hockey. Unless you want to make like there's people there. You know what? That would make it more challenging. That's the best way to practice. Maybe everybody out there, if you can find ice with trees on it, I think that's the way

to do it. Because if you can pass between trees and get it in between, you know how they'll get narrow. If you can get there, I feel like in between how they'll get narrow if you can get there i feel like you'll really have something that's some practice you'll know how to shoot angles because you'll need to really have yeah you know what i could be a hockey coach i think i don't know anything about the game plinko hockey i yeah i could i could direct this though i think i feel like i'm uh i couldn't coach down on an ice level but maybe as like a you know president of a of a team or something, I feel like I could

distribute this kind of wisdom in addition to saying, I don't know, just pick the largest, most toothless Russian every year. That's a pretty good way to do it. Who's anybody from a war-torn Eastern European country? I feel like they'd be tough. The less teeth, the better. The less teeth. Oh, yeah, yeah, because they're willing to mix it up.

You've got to get a guy in there who's someone who cares about a smile is not a guy. You're not going to lose. No, that, the better. The less teeth. Oh, yeah, yeah, because they're willing to mix it up. You've got to get a guy in there who's someone who cares about his smile. He's not going to lose. No, that's the thing. I don't want that guy on my hockey team unless he's like a crazy goal scorer, obviously. Gretzky, you know, keep your teeth, buddy. We need you for the posters. I'm certain he's missing a few. I'm sure he is.

He's got to be. He's got to be because someone, I'm sure, people go after him, I'm sure, back in the day. But, yeah, they're like, hide that quick. No, no, you've got to replace those. Yeah, if you're a defenseman they're like yeah i have three teeth missing it looks great scare the shit out of the other team you look like jack lambert playing linebacker for the steelers back there scaring the shit out of everybody uh their father was his name is dale uh not crow yeah uh their father and grandfather both uh what both basically toiled in the mines. That's it.

They were mine people in the Sullivan Mine, mining for zinc their whole lives. And their dad played a little minor league hockey also back in the day, some little minor Canadian junior league hockey stuff. So hockey's kind of in the family. He said minor Canadian. I realize that that's a little Canadian. Yeah, no, not. I pictured helmets with lights.

The guys from the zinc miners. I'm on the mining Canadian team. They got a beer league team. They don't even have hockey helmets. They just have mining helmets with flashlights on them. It's a very entertaining game. They're not real good at ice skating. I'd watch that shit.

I would too. But they're drunk and they're tough. And they're slap shotting with pickaxes'd watch that shit i would too but they're drunk and they're tough and they're slap shotting with pickaxes they don't give a shit yeah i feel like they wouldn't care at all yeah that's probably slap shooting but whatever shooting slap shotting whatever whatever who gives a shit goddamn shit yeah fuck man so uh jason and mike that's mike's brother jason jason and mike father dale their uh grandfather keith uh everybody called coog for some reason like the first four letters of cougar c-o-u-g c-o-u-g i don't know why i don't know if i have no idea maybe he hunted a

cougar with his helmet and probably pickaxe he just had that he went out in the mountains one day said i'm gonna get that son of a bitch tracked him and fucking slaughtered his whole family left a trail of zinc behind him so he could return i don't know what i have no idea but i feel like white or black i feel like you could leave a trail of it and know where you're going i feel like it would stand out on the floor i'm thinking like oh like basically looking like crack rocks pretty much like a like a you gotta like an off white yeah rock of some kind almost that crystal that you find in the desert oh like the like the shit you buy when you're a kid yeah for some reason that they sell when you're eight you need a crystal white rocks look at me i have a rock with crystals inside of it great good for you

thanks we all kept that from when we were kids right no we threw that right out so uh uh coog worked in the mine his whole life yeah and contracted a rare and lethal form of lupus uh due to all of this zinc mining apparently it's i don't know if it's rare because not a lot of people work in a zinc mine their entire life because not a lot of people have lupus what it is but yeah if you combine those two things where those two meet in the middle of zinc miners and lupus it's probably a small sliver uh but apparently uh uh this uh decimated him and made the kids not want to work in the zinc mine sure the dad not want the kids to work in the zinc mine and you know who the fuck wants to work in a zinc mine basically lupus is bad shit shit, man. Lupus is terrible. Oh, my God. Yeah, this is awful shit.

It's vicious. It's terrible. And apparently this was from the mine. Yeah. Yeah, and he ended up, Coog ended up dying in 1988 from this disease. Dying, I think he was like 60 or something, dying pretty young from a disease, nothing natural. And the sun kind of amplifies it, too, so it's good that he's working underground. Is a zinc mine underground? I don't know. That it could be in the bushes is it like a is it a hole in the ground is it on top of a mountain what what the fuck is it you

saw the top off a mountain and just dig it out of the top like a maybe it's way up a cougar's ass like indiana jones in the temple of doom and they got the monkey brains out. Is that how it works? What is going on? I don't know. I don't know what's happening with zinc. I should have done more zinc mining research on this. Already two things that not a lot of people know about, lupus and zinc both.

And zinc mining, yeah, that's true. I dare you to tell me, stay out of WebMD and tell me how bad lupus really is. You know that it's debilitating and that it's horrible. You know that it's bad, but you don't know what it does. does yeah you know if a doctor told you you had it you'd be scared but other than that i don't think you're you'd be real upset about it probably i got what holy shit that sounds terrible of all the names of diseases too it sounds like the weakest but it's fucking not it's got the word loop in it.

So right there is the sound of loop. I feel like it makes it almost fun like a Froot Loop. It's almost joyous. It sounds like the name of a wine. It sounds fun. Then you add the U.S. on it, and then it's like a pus, too. So it's not good. It's like, this is terrible.

Lupus is awful. And it is awful. It's terrible shit. People are obviously sick from it we we apologize for our ignorance we hope you find it charming because we just don't know shit about lupus because we're comedians that's not our job to know about lupus here's the other thing i don't know anything about lupus and my aunt died of it there you go you're like oh she's super sick huh oh boy boy that shit sounds bad man she didn't look good didn't quite ask her what didn't feel good or anything like that so she didn't look good she was a four foot six woman that weighed

like 390 pounds jesus she looked terrible how the hell is that possible oh i have no fucking idea she was wow i'm fascinated by this was your aunt my's sister. Oh, so your step-aunt. Yeah, and she was in one. Thank Christ those aren't my jeans. I was going to say, this could happen to you at some point. You could blow up and shrink down and get lupus. She'd just sit on a couch and smoke all day. And then when she died, I saw her in her casket, and I'll never forget that sight.

It genuinely looked like somebody just cut cut the top of job of the hut off and slammed it in a fucking casket it was horrible poor woman the most most tragic thing i've ever seen was she like a was she depressed and like oh christ she was always depressed she couldn't she couldn't move because lupus made her not be able to move well oh that's super bad stuff man that's terrible well shit so before you tell me i'm an asshole for talking shit about lupus and making fun of it, my aunt died of it in the worst way possible. It ruined her.

Not that you really empathized with her or even really knew what she was going through, but you were sad that it was happening. It was terrible to watch. Yeah, it's terrible. I feel bad for that lady. And she lived in Gallup, New Mexico. Oh, God. She had the most horrible, poor life.

Jesus fucking Christ. I feel bad for her. Oh, what in gallop new mexico like she had the most horrible poor life i saw fucking christ bad for her oh what's worse i don't know living there or living there with all that shit lupus and gallop that is awful it was a brutal life fucking roll the dice man that's just what's where i don't know the coin there you go two i guess i'm in crapped out crapped out i'm in gallop jesus christ so he dies in 88 old coog so this obviously makes everybody you know a little leery of the minds but the father keeps working in the mind he has no uh he has no no recourse on it him and his father were both like they would climb 100 foot heights on rope ladders like they would would did crazy shit. These were like fucking men. Yeah, they were. They did.

These are like the guys that would sit on the beam and eat lunch and not care. They did that black and white picture. No, that was their job. Oh, they had climbed 100 foot rope, rope ladders. And then they'd stand on an area, they say, barely wide enough to hold both feet and working a 100 pound stopper drill lit only by a headlamp. So they're on a they climb a rope ladder to get to a very small, very small place to drill with a giant implement into a fucking thing.

So this is a tiny bit of zinc with a headlamp looking for zinc, which I bet they know what zinc looks like. I mean, a whole day's value worth of zinc sounds crazy. And every other vitamin fits in a tiny ass. It fits in. Yeah. How much old people alive till they're a hundred and fucking ten now. How much zinc do you need out of that?

Apparently a lot of zinc. People are going to be tweeting us how important zinc is and it's in everything and it makes phones run and the internet without zinc and your fucking car is made of half zinc. And did you know your body's a quarter zinc, and we're going to get all the zinc tweets. Save it, because, well, I'm going to look zinc up. I never expected to go on a zinc tangent. I would have prepared for this shit

and really had my zinc facts straight, and who invented zinc, and the whole deal. I think Centrum did. I think they did. I think they pulled it right from the earth. Big Centrum. Just pop this in your mouth, Grandpa. You'll be fine.

Hey, Dick's going to be hard by sundown. Don't worry about it. Big Zink's going to sue us. There you go. This and a glass of orange juice. Big Zink is coming for us. Guys, don't mess with Big Zink. I'll tell you that right now.

So these guys were like hardcore miners, too. They weren't just, I don't know what miners are just hanging out, dicking around. But these guys were not these these were like some some seriously uh daredevil kind of miners uh uh as as uh his mother said quote coog took great pride in his work as a miner as did dale it was a status symbol to be a conventional miner and not mechanical working uh working with big level levers and just sitting there conventional miners went in there with stoppers on their back with a light and drilled by hand you were revered and looked up to so they were like the grunts and the bad they were considered badasses they're like the special forces of the miners rather than people just doing it with machines doing it by hand yeah they were like oh shit i don't want to

climb up that rope ladder and stand there with a fucking that's crazy which i that's crazy that sounds insanely dangerous i don't want to do it at all. No, not to meant just climbing up the ladder is dangerous and standing there and doing your job is dangerous. And then after a fucking while you get lupus and turn out like your aunt. This is terrible. The whole thing's awful. This is a terrible death. It's bad here.

When they were kids, the Canadian government sponsored a series, a film series, where 10 cities were highlighted in a 15 to 17 minute, this is my home, quote unquote, movie clip, basically. And Jason McBain, his brother, Mike's brother, was picked to narrate the sixth one, which focused on Kimberly. So the production crew followed Jason around town. They filmed him at school and hockey practice and hanging out with coog and and dale and eileen and mike and other people so that's this is mike's first appearance in public here was on a uh i assume some canadian public broadcasting you know thing narrating

with his brother narrating it and him hanging out with his brother uh which is the mother says quote they picked him because first his grandfather and father worked in the same mine and second because jason communicated very well when he was young it was so cool yeah apparently that was the main focus of the film on eileen was how it the whole town kind of revolves around this fucking mine and that his family is like you know he's next it's almost like your dad works there and your grandfather works there so it was like you know next in line for the mine type of uh film it seems like to me i haven't watched it it's not available you know this film very odd that it wouldn't be surprise find that on amazon i'm really surprised i was willing to pay good money for it but they

they uh it's odd it sounds super entertaining a 15 minute film yeah about some kid in a small town in canada that's going to work in a mine in 10 years. Where did they release that shit? I think it was probably Canadian Public Broadcasting, because Canada, it's all government-owned stations. An 18-minute segment, though, they just load that up with commercials or some shit, or they just do it running through? I'm not sure.

Who knows? In the 80s, Canadian Public Broadcasting in the 80s? Who the fuck knows what they did i have no clue outside of nickelodeon i don't know what the hell came out of canada back then was that from canada nickelodeon was from canada wasn't it yeah i think all that shit was i think it was based in canada that must be news to me i thought so i don't think i knew that it started in canada i know their cruise was out of florida but i can't imagine you got a cruise out of nova scotia bring your parkas everybody we're going out of i'm very impressed with myself because i almost said nova scotia but then i was

like what if that shit's landlocked what if that shit's like toronto is that one landlocked going out of newfoundland that's like an island pretty much newfoundland remember we did that yeah small town murder that one's up there near maine right it Yes, north of there. Hey, there you go, Jimmy. Look at me. God damn it. See my face light up? I got real excited just now. I was like, oh, you're learning.

I taught you something. I was so excited about it. God, I'm a dipshit. I just pulled some knowledge out of my head. Geography. Well, just geography is not your strong suit. Oh, I am terrible at that. Country bands, I would know nothing, and you'd own it.

You'd own it, man would you'd own him off you know so jesus christ so apparently staggering costs from health care and being sued and mining is not like in in the united states we have laws to where you can just people are basically farm animals and you don't have to protect them at all. And there's laws, but they just fine these companies, and then they just pay the fines, and they don't give a shit. And then they leave people on the ground to die, and they go, oh, safety standards, I guess.

And then they lobby against safety standards, and then it's cheaper to just lobby and be sued than it is to actually fix your fucking mind and be safe for people to be in. Canada's a little bit different. They actually, I don't know, don't want their citizens to die in the ground. They find that it's better to invest knowledge and information in these people and hang on to them rather than keep training a new crop of people that are accident prone.

Yeah, they have a few more rules there, let's just say. And so the cost of running a mine in canada is a lot higher than it is here and uh forced this company to close the sullivan mine uh back in 2001 which is uh interesting and basically it's a it's a beautiful area there's there's a big mountain you know snowy mountains in the distance and shit like that so they turned it from a zinc mining town into a tourist metropolis. Recreational activities and just, hey, everybody, don't mind that. Whatever zinc smells like in the air, it's fine. That's only going to linger for the next, I don't know, two centuries or so.

But come water ski. That's basically what they're talking about. It's like Pittsburgh trying to forget that they were a steel city. Yeah, yeah. Or Cincinnati forgetting whatever the hell caused that smell that they have. I don't know what caused it, but it's there. It's still there. It's fucking not going anywhere.

Maybe they were a zinc mine. Maybe that's what it smells like. It was a big zinc mine. That's all it was here. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. So Dale made a transition when the father, Dale, Mike and Jason's father, made a transition from the zinc mine when that closed down.

Can't do that anymore. What's an old daredevil zinc miner to do? He gets a job at the Casino of the Rockies in Kimberley as a surveillance, like a security guy. I think he watches, you know, Eye in the Sky guy watches people make sure they're not cheating. Like Lawrence Fishburne in 21. Pretty much. Yeah, he's doing that sort of shit here. The mother here, or Jason said, quote, he worked hard all day.

When he came home, he had to relax. He worked so hard. He used to work hard. It's that thing that we always say. That means he beat the shit out of everybody. hard it's that thing that we always say that means he beat the shit out of everybody just him saying that he worked hard all day when he came home he needed to relax that means once in a while we'd be loud and he beat the shit out of us with a hockey stick which made me adept at dodging them that's incredible so uh that's what he said he

said quote as far as hockey both of our parents gave it 100 and sacrificed and we definitely appreciate what they did for us i don't know if anybody like if you don't live if you live in like michigan or minnesota either you played hockey your kid played hockey your brother played hockey your friends played hockey you know about hockey but if you live in warm climates or even like in new york not a lot of people played hockey it just wasn't i bet in western new york they probably do but it wasn't that frozen where i was from male or female it doesn't change doesn't change no no all the same so uh which is fascinating i don't i don't want to sound sexist but but you're but i'm going to but a woman dressed in a hockey uniform is quite confusing i I will say that.

Well, it's just big pads, and you wouldn't know the difference. They look very tough and mannish, and it is scary. It is. There used to be a... I don't want to fuck with any woman that ever played hockey. There's been women that played in the minors in hockey. Yeah, yeah. Gullies.

They are tough women, and it is frightening. Yeah, they're hockey players. It isn't women or men or whatever. They're just hockey players. They're tough, period. Maybe it's's not sexist maybe it's just terrifying yeah i think it's just confusing and scary i think it's scary i think you're you're a b when a woman physically scares you i think you don't know how to respond to it it doesn't even feel like you're against it you just don't oh i'm for it you're figuring out how to respond to it

that's all that's fine i'm trying to process what i'm looking at yeah i don't know how am i turned on am i supposed to be because i might be am i a little horny about this or am i scared i'm not sure that's the thing or is it a little both or am i scared i'm horny maybe i'm afraid that i'm horny and that it's not just that it's a woman maybe i'm afraid that i'm horny for for anybody in a hockey uniform bobby or i don't know you want to fucking bend over anybody in a hockey uniform you want to pull that jersey over your over their head like you're ready to get a major i can't tell and face fuck them

hold them by the jersey that's what you're looking at, Jimmy. Why is the word face fuck him is amazing. I can tell you needed that for some reason. Yeah, I did. I definitely did. These hockey parents, though, this isn't like Little League where you're just like, you know, the kid gets a uniform that you pay 12 bucks for to the league and then you get him a pair of cleats you drop them off at the field like there's the hockey is so fucking expensive number one it's so expensive fuck yeah i have my friend that played

hockey him and his two brothers played in their house they had a room that was their hockey room they had a whole bedroom that was just for hockey equipment just for the gear just for the gear because there's so much of it it's all so big and it stinks too so you want to keep it away because it gets in the pads and god forbid one of them are a goalie oh that's terrible extra shit to have yeah but i mean all the sticks the pads and gloves and it's so much shit the oftentimes you have to like drive for two hours to a game or do it's a it's such a pain in the ass it's not like little league where there's a field over there it's a rink it has to be unless you're in minnesota or something where they're probably on every street corner you know it's a different thing so people really have to sacrifice for hockey it's almost like

figure skating it's the same anything on ice it's hard on the parents it's expensive and you're you're eventually just working to pay the hockey bill that's what it is that's crazy it's crazy but that's that's kind of a lot of people do that that's it's it's weird man it's not like basketball where it's like yeah they got one ball there's 10 of you put a tank top on and get the fuck down to the cio church league and play for a while but going based sheer on numbers and the amount of teams that there are you seem it feels like it's it's easier to make something of yourself playing hockey than any other sport you know what i mean based on that i don't know there's a shit pile of teams it's very much like soccer but much more expensive

yeah i would think that yeah you're you're you're uh you're you're not like the whole country isn't really open to but the whole world is because you're the eastern europe and finland and russia and there's a tons of players from there a lot of guys toil in the minors like you can play in the minors there's a lot of minor league hockey i hate that minor was part of this story yeah because now every time you say that you're gonna be thinking of a small canadian with a helmet on a dirty faced canadian child digging into the dirt for it's covered in whatever zinc looks like whatever you think yeah looking for whatever you think zinc i found it holding up a who knows i feel like i could just walk up to somebody and toss them a pebble and be like it's all zinc yeah salad there you go hey i got some zinc for you

people for zinc now listen to this story here uh add all this up jason says about the father quote he worked hard all day when he came home he had to relax which that tells you a lot then mike says that when he was three or four dale a couple of times put his skates on the wrong feet when he was going to play hockey when he was you know dale was lacing his boots up for him or skates up for him but mike didn't say anything about it he just skated with his skates on the wrong foot that day because he said, quote, I was too scared to tell him. But I think that helps me being able to go through adversity. Talk about a positive goddamn spin on it. I was scared to death of my father

to tell him that my fucking skates were on the wrong feet. I'd rather hurt myself for hours in the freezing cold because I was afraid my father would, you know, react poorly to me pointing out a mistake of his. But I think that's good for me.

I think that's super good for me. It's taught me to just deal with everybody else's mistakes and make the best of every situation. Just make the best of it, you know, when you're beaten as a child. Feet going the wrong direction. That's fine. It's fine.

It's okay. That's rough to put that personality on your kids here. Jason and Mike, I guess they watch Slapshot all the time with their father. That was a big deal. His father played in the Eastern Hockey League in the minors. And I guess the father knew a lot of the guys in it, played with a lot of the guys. Because all the guys skating around were all hockey players. So he would point out, hey, I know that guy.

And he'd tell stories about him and shit like that. So they enjoyed watching Slapshot with their dad. Later on, though, he says that that's more of his dad's type of thing. It's not his favorite movie. He's more into Cinderella Man. Oh, boy. So, yeah. The Russell Crowe movie?

Yeah. What the fuck? I don't get it. I don't get it. It's a terrible movie. He did say that in 2006, though, so I feel like he was hot from seeing it. Yeah. It's like, man like i just saw that recently

it's fucking good man i'm being sexist but it was confusing i didn't know whether or not to be turned on by russell crowe you know it happens gladiator same thing i had a problem uh yeah fuck man he's just so he liked cinderella man and not slap shot and he played hockey and he played hockey well slap shots because it's i didn't get slap shot either it was who was it i don't know paul newman did i see that i don't oh yeah yeah handsome brothers and all that shit it's i know it's a giant cult following and people love that goddamn movie but it was just a little before me to where i was like i don't know it's fine fine. Good movie. Strange Brew, same thing. People so into Strange Brew. Did I see that?

Rick Moranis. Oh, probably not. People are so into that. And we're watching it and just going, I don't know. I don't get it. I don't understand what's happening. Why is this funny? I like the guys that make Super Troopers and those movies, but those movies are so fucking

dumb. That's Vermont. That's almost Canada. You're getting there. Okay, all right. You're getting there. Yeah, all right. You're getting there. Yeah. Yeah, no.

In Canada, I don't know what it is. I'm like, five minutes in, people are laughing. I'm like, they're Canadian. I get that part. Okay, now what? I don't understand what the joke is. People are going to be pissed. They love fucking Slapshot and Strange Brew, so fuck off.

I don't know what to tell you. I tried. Not my fault. Was Rick Moranis Canadian? Fuck yeah, he's a super canadian yeah absolutely a lot of those guys were canadian from the 80s they all came from uh uh uh the uh yeah the tv show i'm i've watched and i'm blanking out on it now and it was fucking funny though it was right before seven night live yeah it had her sctv uh it was sctv but they didn't they produce in canada or

was there a different one in canada i think there may have been another one there was another one in Canada I know there was believe me it'll hit me and then yeah trust me I'll go upstairs and ask Sarah and when we're done with this and she'll be like idiot how do you not know that here dumb shit I remember watching it so I'm really I'm really out of it but uh the kids here Josh and Mike uh Mike says that he scrubbed golf clubs at a golf course. He said, and we pick up the range balls when he was about 12 or 13. He's a basic golf course guy. He said, and the boss never gave them hard hats, so people would obviously aim at the kids going out to pick up the balls because there's nothing else to aim at.

So you're like, oh, Target. They didn't have a cart with a cage around it? They didn't give them anything. They just sent kids out running out there just going, hold on. Dodging balls? Dodging balls. Those hurt. Yeah, well, between being adept at dodging his dad on ice skates

and dodging the balls and shooting pucks between trees, I feel like he's going to be a superstar. What do you think here? And also, when you're trying to hit something like that,'re not like lobbing it fucking line driving it at these kids drilling it and you're you're doing it fast too because you don't want to get out of this you're plunking them down real oh shit quack come on shit not even getting like your stand stand down or anything just kicking the bucket over and just drilling them as they roll out i'm gonna get this fucker with as many as i can so uh 1991 around the same time that he's getting golf ball shot at his goddamn head

he plays hockey on a like a junior it's a junior b team up there is what they call it b it's the kimberly dynamiters i guess that's uh people as a mining i suppose they have to blow shit up with dynamite to make a hole they should just call it the dynamite not the dynamite dynamiters that's too many syllables dynamiters it sounds wrong doesn't it i don't like that either so i don't care for that so uh so this was based in uh british columbia they were members of the eddie mountain division oh listen to this shit it's the the kootenai the kootenai c-o-o or not even c-k-o-o-t-e-n-a-y conference sounds right kootenai conference the eddie mountain of it is that a man eddie mountain sounds like an 80s hi eddie mountain here it's a it's eddie money yes that's eddie money fucking teamed up with some sort of mountain band, and then they came up with that.

That's when he changed, too. He was a folk singer after a while. He said, you know what? Two Tickets to Paradise is a little played out. I'm going to put a Willie Nelson jacket on with some fringe on it and go sit in front of a cabin. Was that him, too? That's him, too. Absolutely.

Also, Money? No. He released a... No, no. He released a... I'm trying to think. I know another song. He released a banjo album later on under the name Eddie Mountain.

Same thing, though. Shake it. That was him, too. It's just a lot of picking. I said, take me home tonight. Yeah, you know how that goes. It's kind of like Country Road, Take Me Home, but it's different. A lot of teeth together and no lip movement.

You know how that works, yeah. This team began in 1991, so he's on the inaugural team of the Dynamiters. And first they played in the Rocky Mountain Junior Hockey League. This is what this is, the RMJHL, Rocky Mountain Junior Hockey League. That doesn't go very well. He is in the Eddie Mountain division of the Kootenai Conference of the Rocky Mountain Junior Hockey League. That is digging deep. Yeah.

Very, very deep here. A lot of qualifications for this league. It's just so many. He's 15 in 91-92 at the end of it. And 92, obviously. He plays 91-92. he plays in 35 uh games he has 25 goals and 62 assists which is amazing it's almost two assists a game he's basically averaging almost a hat almost not a hat trick but almost three points a game which is pretty fucking crazy

87 points in 35 games uh 39 penalty minutes too too. So he's a defenseman. He's got to throw down once in a while and take some shots at people here. So 92-93, he's 16 years old, playing for the Kimberly Dynamiters, and he plays in all three. It must be a 35-game season because he plays in 35 games again. This time, though, he has zero goals

and four assists. I don't know what happened. I don't understand why that is. Did he have them as a forward at first and then they put him as a defenseman? That's possible. I'm not sure. I was thinking that's a lot of goals and assists for a defenseman. Yeah, that's crazy.

But it's a lot of times you'll get these highly skilled guys in a junior league. From any position, they'll score and assist a lot. But still, that seems excessive for a defenseman. 48 penalty minutes, though, so he was fighting. I didn't know that. But still, that seems excessive for a defenseman. 48 penalty minutes, though, so he was fighting. Yeah, so when he's 17, he goes to 93-94 season to play for the Red Deer Rebels of the Western Hockey League. These are my favorites, by the way. All of these crazy fucking minor league hockey teams.

We'll talk about all of them because they're awesome. They became the Red Deer. They're in Red Deer, Alberta, Canada. They became the Red Deer Rebels from a Name That Team contest. No. That ran in Red Deer from October 7th to 17th, 1991. Stop doing this. I hate when they do that. Stop letting children name your team.

Yeah. You end up with a purple dinosaur on your jersey when that happens. It's a fucking bad idea. Or Amarillo with their sod poodles. Yeah. Oh, it's all it's all the same you're gonna ruin your team and i get that it's trying to get the the community together to unite trying to get them to be aware they exist right have a stake in them and have some sort of stake in it right oh i'm gonna be interested and then you're gonna look at the outcome and but get a good team name that they can be proud of first and then people will

come or something that's just that doesn't make any goddamn sense like celtics have you ever seen a celtic before i don't even know what the fuck that is no i get that it's irish i was just saying they're just it was the easiest way to say please like us irish people we're your team we'll have very few black guys for as long as possible i feel like that's's what they were saying. We get big Robert Parrish in there. We'll get Bill Russell and that's fine. But, you know, he's one of them good ones. Wink, wink. I feel like that's what Celtic means.

Boston was a... We'll be in Boston in two days. It's fine now. But Boston was known as quite a racist. It was the south of the East Coast for a fucking long time. The Red Sox didn't have a black player until like 1963 or some shit. Who called it racist New York? Somebody.

I don't remember. It's a comic. Yeah, yeah. It is racist New York. It's a good way to put it. Somebody from Boston, I believe. It might have been Bill Burr, actually. Or it was in...

Somebody like that. It may have been either Bill Burr was in that when stand-up stood out documentary. Yeah, one of those Boston comics, though. Somebody from there. Lenny Clark, maybe. Something like that. But what the fuck's a laker nobody knows well it's 10 000 lakes in minnesota oh so that's when they're in minneapolis and they just never changed all right well there you go it doesn't make any goddamn sense in la the utah jazz does that make sense no but what is in new orleans it sure did that made great sense the utah jazz makes no sense whatsoever because mormon jazz is terrible mormons believe the people that created jazz are cursed and that's why they're that color

not good yeah they used to believe that's the truth so the name that team contest they had three ideas uh the top three ideas this is over a thousand A thousand. This is what they narrow it down to. They whittle it down. We'll say whittle with these hillbillies up here. They whittle it down to rebels, renegades, or centurions. What were the other 997 fucking suggestions? Douchebags? Fucking colostomy sex?

What the fuck? What could have possibly been worse than centurions for a fucking Jesus? Somebody suggested the jazz. Someone did suggest it. I'm sure I like them. So on February 5th, 1992, the Rebels selected Mike McBain as their first player in the minor league. Dick and dick around draft, whatever the fuck. It's called the Bantam draft.

I guess you draft draft players that are too young to draft for other people it sounds very pedophilic i don't know or illegal or illegal yeah they played uh in red deer against the prince albert raiders in the first uh game they ever played uh with the rebels in three years he has uh two fights one year four fights another year and one fight uh the last year, 95-96. So he fights less and less. But his penalty minutes are higher. But on all the fight data websites, those are the only fights I could find. But who knows?

The only fights I could find, but then again, it's like minor league hockey, so I don't know if they had them all down. But he had 41, 55, and 68 penalty minutes in his three years there. So they're escalating. So good for him. He's picking it up. He's picking up the pace. He's doing his thing.

I'm very happy for him to do that. Getting into it. Getting into that. Get in there and fight, goddammit. So, yeah, fucking name that team. Stop doing that. I hate it. 1995 in the NHL entry draft in 1995,

Ottawa Senators have the number one pick. They pick Brian Berard, I guess is his name here. And after that are a bunch of guys that I've never heard of. Because some I've heard of. I've heard of Shane Doan is in there at number seven. Oh, really? Yeah, Winnipeg Jets. Just retired last year or some shit.

That's great. Yeah, he played in Phoenix forever. And after that, see, I'm not good with hockey after about post about 1994 i don't know much hockey i'm much earlier i only watched it for like two maybe three seasons and i was like i can't do it i don't understand i had friends that played it so i tried and then in 94 the rangers won the cup so everybody in new york was watching hockey so it was like we watched some hockey and i kind of knew what was going on and i had a sega game yeah so i knew all the players from the sega game yeah and then once those rosters turned over and washed out i had no other knowledge anymore i watched it a couple seasons ago watching the the the fucking kings run and that was fun to watch for a little bit that's not bad and then um i think that's the last and the ducks i watched

the ducks have a good run i watched the. I watched the Ducks have a good run. I watched the Avalanche win. I watched the Ducks have a good run. It seems like every time there's... Yeah, that's right. Colorado stole Quebec. That's what they did. And then stole the Nordiques. Damn shame, that is.

Yeah, hockey is, I think, different from the vague... From the little things I've seen, it looks much different than it used to in terms of it's not... Well, they passed some rules that got rid of got rid of icing and then uh i think there's a pass that they can do now that's a certain line i sound so dumb right now it's certain line things you can only pass from line to line on this line you can't pass it's yeah it's a it's it's a it's fucking complicated they gotta stop with all the rules you gotta get into hockey you gotta if you gotta know hockey to really get into hockey

if you watch hockey live like if you go to a hockey game amazing you don't even have to know what the fuck is going on you're just like this is amazing this is so entered it's so fast and it's so it's just amazing the guys are super fast and athletic and it's great and then when you watch it on tv it just looks like men floating around and you're just like, just get the fucking puck, pick it up with your hand and stuff it into the net.

I'm sick of watching this fucking game. That's legal too, isn't it? No, you can't pick it up. But you know, you should be able to. I mean, they pick it up quite a bit. The goalie does. No, no, the other guys do too. They bat it down.

Well, the thing about it, you can't like grab it and throw it at the goal. No, I can't do that. I don't think that counts. There'd be a whole other game at that point. That's probably legal. There'd be sidearm pitchers that'd be dominating the NHL coming in.

Randy Johnson is ugly face. They don't even play with a stick. They just come in there whipping that fucking puck out there, throwing a slider with that thing. The big catcher's mitt snatching it out of the air. So, Jesus Christ. I'd watch that shit not bad fuck yeah yeah right jesus christ who wouldn't that sounds entertaining as fuck so what looking at

this in the in the first round that year it looks like there is like uh seven players who ended up playing a thousand games in their career out of the first round so that's that's a long-term career a bunch of guys played 600 700 games so. So that, to me, seems like decent draft picks if you get that many games out of them sort of thing here. Now, in the second round, it is at number 30 overall. This is number four in the second round. Tampa Bay Lightning select Mike McBain, a defenseman here from Red Deer, obviously, pulling him right out of the zinc mine and taking him all the way down to Tampa Bay, which is as far away from British Columbia as you could get in the NHL.

Literally, it's just as far away as possible. There's nothing south of that. All the way to the other side of the country. I know there's another Florida team. I don't know where they play, though. What is that team? The Florida Panthers? Oh, I think that's Jackson flaw another florida team i don't know where they play though what is that team florida panthers oh yeah i think that's jacksonville they play in jacksonville i think they do how would anyone want to play anything in jacksonville i don't understand that but i feel like that's true though that may want it to be right so that i

would it's funny for hockey i would do the oh they picked him and they could have had a thing but i have no idea i have no. I don't know anything. All I do know is that the guy who was picked directly after him by the Edmonton Oilers, Georges Laroque, he played in 695 career games and played until 2010. And how long did that boy play? We'll find out. Not that many. We'll say 10 of that

so not quite and this guy had 53 goals and 100 career assists and our guy did not have that as we're talking about 600 games at a 600 game so uh which isn't bad uh honestly unless you're a star well the numbers don't add up in hockey either because they can end one nothing that's the other thing too you could go yeah it's not your fun. It's fun soccer. That's what that is. Yeah, it's violent soccer, which is good. That's what you want in soccer. If soccer was violent, it would be so much more entertaining. It would.

If you were allowed to clothesline a guy as he was running across, that would make it better. Or just stop in the middle of the match and just drop him. That would be entertaining. I'd watch that. Where the ref picks up the ball and whoever wins the fight gets it. Not like, okay, the play continues while you two fight. It's like, oh, hold on.

Pause play for a moment. Wait until this is over. Whoever drops first, the other team gets the ball. That'd be a fun way to play soccer. And he just like hands the ball to the guy and is like, drop it there. Yeah. And while that guy's still bleeding on the ground. Like I want that. I want them like kicking it around.

It's like how we used to play basketball in elementary school and middle school. We just play violent basketball. That's what we used to play. I remember the only rule. We've discussed this before. The only rule was, quote, no humping. That was it. That's going to break out in eighth grade.

You can't start humping somebody. That's another. Hey, no humping. But you could fucking check them into a brick wall. You could fucking clothesline them you could attack them you could uh take the knees out oh god you don't want to jump for a lay up you're going down don't you dare going down stay on the ground it was terrible so uh he's shooting everything like a free throw absolutely you know it just throw it up It's all hook shots. As your fadeaway hook shots.

I was just aggressive throwing elbows at people. I was a dick. Most inaccurate basketball shot ever. Fadeaway hook shot. That's not a good one. Unless you're Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, that's not going to work out. There's a reason why one guy's done that really well in a fucking 80 years of the game. It's because it's hard.

So he continues playing for the Red De rebels here in the beginning they always do that they kind of stick with their junior league team after they've been drafted they want them to stay there and it's like that's rookie league they don't have to pay for sure basically is the way they look at it the teams i feel like he plays in uh in uh 68 games in 95-96 with seven goals, 34 assists, and then 59 games in 96-97 with 14 goals and 35 assists. So he's getting a little bit better, and they're looking at him. And like I said, in 96-97, he's only 20. Yeah.

So, I mean, he's a young kid. That's amazing. That's fucking young. He's already made it. Yeah, he's 19 and 20. So, I mean, you know, know kids are this is what pisses me off about the maurice claret fucking episode and we talked about the nhl this kid did you ever hear the word school never in this episode once or did you hear hockey since he was 13 right whereas

maurice claret he's got to make other people money right so he can't go make his own money because he hey hold on yeah we got you here for a few more years you can make our university money before you're allowed to go make somebody another billionaire money pay the poor shit mo that's what i'm saying so that's this is what pisses me off hockey you're just hey go ahead what is he 12 sure sign him up who cares he's not what he's what is he gonna work in the zinc mine it's either this or the zinc mine either way he doesn't need school so fucking sell popcorn yeah that's it so uh yeah and then uh 97, we'll talk about here in a second, where he goes with the Adirondack Red Wings,

which they played in Glens Falls, New York, and they were affiliated with the Detroit Red Wings. By the 1990s, Detroit wanted to move the club away from Glens Falls to somewhere closer to Detroit. Makes it easier to call guys up and you know call them up back and forth uh in early 99 the red wings announced that they would move the team to rossford iowa which is near toledo and the red wings ended up suspending the operations of the team in 98 99 as a part of the agreement to relocate the franchise they were

supposed to build rossford was supposed to build a $48 million entertainment complex with a 12,000 seat arena and the deal fell apart. Shit. Deal ended up falling apart so the franchise had to just remain dormant for like three years

and then it was bought by the ownership group that owns the San Antonio Spurs and they resurrected this team as the San Antonio Rampage because if one thing San Antonio needs, it's more hockey, I would say. Whenever you hear about San Antonio, all you ever hear is they're just clamoring for hockey. That's all I've ever heard about them. Just, man, even the Spurs, this is all fine and dandy,

but what's up with hockey, man? We're just skating around down here with nothing to watch. Bullshit. So he's with the Tampa Bay Lightning here, and he gets called up finally, and this is 97-98. So he is 21 years old, called up from the minors. A Canadian boy's dream. I mean, you're a Canadian kid.

This is what you're thinking about, is maybe not playing for Tampa Bay. Probably wanted to play for fucking Montreal or Toronto or something. Playing hockey in a fucking snowless climate. You know, yeah, one of the old, the original six or something like that. But Tampa Bay's fine. It pays the bills. It'll do.

It's still in the league. It's in the league, yeah. And you're getting paid a decent amount. He makes $750,000 this year. Holy shit. yeah it's a it's a good amount of money second round draft pick in hockey hockey players do pretty well do they really they do pretty for the fact that nobody's watching it it's amazing how much money they make i'm impressed by that second round pick making almost a million a year the thing that bugs me out in hockey is like literally i how many people do you know that are huge hockey fans like how many people do you know that are huge football fans

ton ton baseball ton basketball ton hockey fucking i know one dude that loves it yeah the people that love it and i don't even know him well that's what i mean the people that love it are so into it and they will watch it and they they'll buy shit, and they're really into it. But it's hard to snag a casual fan because it's complicated. And it's a shame, too, because it's a fucking beautiful game, man. And it is a shame. I think more people should give hockey a chance. It's hard, though, because unless you grow up in a cold climate, you have no sense memory of what they're doing.

You have no childhood indoctrination into it or just a bonding, growing moment. Everybody has thrown a baseball and caught it with a glove. Everybody's tried to hit at least a wiffle ball with a bat. So you have an idea of what that is. You know what I mean? Everybody's shot a ball at a hoop. Not a soul on earth hasn't shot a ball at a hoop. Not a soul on earth hasn't taken a football and just thrown it and tried to throw a spiral.

Everybody's got an idea of what that is. Even if you watch, like, fighting. Like, you've play fought. Everybody's gotten their cousin in a headlock or been put in one. So you understand what that is. Hockey, you have no idea what it's like to skate fast while slapping a fucking puck. It has no. Also, the high schools here and really a lot of climates don't snow.

You know what I mean? That's the other thing. And so during the school season and then in school, every school's got a basketball court. Every school's got a football field. Every school's got a soccer field. Yeah, absolutely. Every neighborhood's got a basketball court. Never had an ice rink in your school.

No, no. Neither did I. That's the thing. Ice rinks cost money. If you live in a frozen environment, you know, six, seven months out of the year, put your skates on and head the fuck down to the pond, kid. We don't need to pay for anything. Whereas here, if you live in Phoenix, it's never, literally never, you're never on natural

ice. You're always going to be in a rink. It costs a lot of money to keep cool, to keep that cold because it's 100 degrees outside. So they go for the rookie party, the rookie dinner. You know how they do this in the NFL? When they pay for it. I love this. They sit them down.

First of all, they have veteran players come in to talk to rookies in the rookie symposium. And the first thing they tell them, they tell them, be careful with women. They're going to try to hang you up and get you paternity suits and all that. They're going to tell them, be careful with drugs and what you put in your body because everything will come up on the test. But the thing they talk about the most is be careful with your money.

Save your money. Don't fuck around. Don't do extravagant shit. You don't need a fucking big gold chain with diamonds on it. Save that shit for your third contract and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So what they make these players do right after that speech is take all the veterans out for an exorbitant dinner that costs them tens of thousands of dollars that they shouldn't be spending on one night's entertainment that's not even for them remember we told you not to spend your money i'll have the filet that's

what they do and they all order the most expensive shit like i heard this one in the jets rookies where guys were ordering like three bottles of wine to take home with them like bring me this one i'm just taking them home with them, just fucking the rookies hard. Yeah. That is shitty. It's one thing if you have a first-round draft pick quarterback who signed a huge deal, and then it's like, hey, we're going to stick it to you, dude.

It doesn't matter because your signing bonus was fucking Sam Bradford when he signed his rookie deal. It was a $30 million signing bonus. Hey, asshole, you're taking us out. You're buying us all bottles of wine. We don't give a fuck if the bill's 100 grand. You can afford it. He's played like doesn't matter 16 games and he's made 130 million so much fucking money it's absurd but when you get like second round draft picks who are making

like 350 for the year like after taxes an agent and like you know give some to your mom and pay like you're like wow i this is kind of 60 grand yeah this is kind of like i have a car payment i gotta make this is kind of tough here they went to uh vancouver in vancouver they went to joe forte's or i don't know how you pronounce it joe forte's restaurant and uh mike says quote i think we spent seventeen thousand dollars on dinner the rookies themselves and the rookies had to pay for it he said we had a good time the beer was flowing the cigars were being smoked good food was eaten lots of wine everyone goes through that as a rookie he thinks his portion was about 4600 or something there was four rookies in all so that's too much that's too much the football team is worse like i said i the one uh i the jets book

it's uh collision low crossers it's called this uh reporter was with the jets for the whole 2011 season like basically the coaches made him like a shadow coach he just hung out with them it's very fucking interesting but uh they talk about this the rookie dinner they took these rookies out to and they were paying 25 grand a pot for this dinner it was stupid it was so fucking crazy and the and the guys weren't even some guys on the team would came in, got like three bottles of wine to go and left. They didn't even eat fucking dinner. They just were raping these rookies wallets.

And and then some of them, though, like one of the like one of the guys they were talking about was like a fourth round draft pick. And he did not have a lot of money and he was real fucking scared about the whole thing. And some veteran gave him like a bunch back. That's not like he dropped him like five G's back. Like, hey, dude, fucking. Yeah, I know that i know that hurts you shit yeah here take that so but that's tough man 4600 bucks to your first night in the league it's like whoa hit you hard so uh if yeah if you went and spent that at the strip club they would say he's an idiot yeah but instead

you're buying all the veterans they're different yeah and they can all afford it that's the other thing they're all they all make better money than you probably so uh anyway 97 98 21 years old playing for the tampa bay lightning which i assume is what you want to do in hockey play for a pro team uh not the others weren't pros but this is the big time he plays in 27 games that year so uh you know good for him how many are in a hockey season is it i think it's 80 82 it's a lot i know it's a lot 81 or 82 it's the same as basketball basketball is 82 but i hockey might it's an 81 that might be for some reason it's got to be 82 because then it's 41 home and 41 away it can't be it on number so it's 82 i think either way yeah he's uh yeah well there you go record their record that year 1755 and 10 82 fucking

got it so there we go uh 1755 and 10 by the way the tampa bay lightning is terrible that year uh coached by terry crisp uh-huh is that their opening season too though i don't think that's their inaugural inaugural was pretty fairly 94 93 somewhere there. I know they were bad for a long fucking time, too. Oh, yeah, yeah. They were a Florida hockey team. 17, 55, and 10 is not wonderful at all. Like I said, under a couple of different coaches here, because people got fired, obviously, here.

It's not terrific. They had 151 goals for, which is last in the league, 26th of 26, and 269 goals against. against yeah that's not good no that's a bad ratio that's a terrible terrible ratio there uh but uh zero goals in 27 games played for our guy here mike mcbain and uh one assist for him so a total of 1.8 penalty minutes uh 17 shots on goal total so Really just doing nothing out there. Probably not playing a lot of minutes. Probably just getting him up, acclimating him.

Probably just putting him in third line or something, sticking him in there, let him skate around a little bit when guys are getting a breath, I would assume. He's not a starter or anything like that. So 98-99 season. Not much better for the team. 19-54-9. Almost identical. Fuck, yeah, that's just miserable that is miserable and uh uh goal same shit too goals for 27th of 27 179 goals against 292 27th of 27 dead last and dead last and goals for and goals against so are you good offensively

no we're the worst in the league. Well, you must be a good defensive team, though. Actually, worst in the league. We are just the worst at everything. We're not good at this at all. Awful. Just terrible at everything we do. How bad must it be to be a Tampa Bay fan of anything?

I mean, granted, the Lightning won once and the Rays have won once, too, right? No, they don't think they won but they've fucking they've had some runs yeah just it is brutal to be a tampa bay sports fan is they got the bucks they won they won the super bowl once they beat the shit out of the raiders that was good times those were good times of course johnson you had to have the uh you had to have yeah yeah you had to have that whole uh warren sap and all the work done you had to have the uh the whole leading up to that you know when they went like 19 games straight without winning one in their first or was it 12 and 26 they went their first 26 games or some shit like that it was pathetic that's a tough city to be a sports fan how do they how do

they have three nice weather i don't know it's just nice weather i think there's Nice weather? I don't know. It's just nice weather, I think. There's a lot of... Fuck. I don't know. I don't know what goes on down there. I've been there. I've been to Tampa, St. Pete, Clearwater. It's a nice area, but... It's fine.

Yeah, it's fine. Like, grandmother would retire, and she would go down there in the winter. Right. And that's... It's very elderly. How are they selling enough tickets to keep these teams? I don't know. There's a lot of people from the East Coast, too, that go down there.

It seems like it's owned by somebody that's just got to take a loss. It's got to be, right? What the fuck else would it be? They have TV deals. I don't know. Like I said, I'm not sure how the hockey economy works. I'm very ignorant to the hockey economy. The whole Florida armpit economy I want to know about.

I don't know how any of those teams outside of the Dolphins and the Heat survive. Yeah, that's Miami. That's not fucking Tampa. That's not Tampa. That's what I'm saying. Outside of there, I'm shrugging my shoulders. I'm curious about ever since Shaq left, I've been waiting for the magic to move. It's got to happen at some point here.

Who wants to go to Orlando? I don't even know who they have anymore. Tracy McGrady's gone. By the way, we'll be in West Palm Beach at the West Palm Improv on February 21st doing a live small town murder if you want to. Come on down. Tickets available now. So check us out there because we love Florida.

We do. Obviously. 98-99, like we said, a god awful team. And he plays in 37 games this year. Played in 27 his first year zero goals six assists now so hey look at you went from one assist to five to six assists he has 14 penalty minutes 22 shots on goal so he's uh you know i guess slightly improving not not playing a lot which is a you know minute wise that'll hinder your ability to score some

points that's the problem and and tampa bay kind of gives up on him here and he is he never plays in the nhl again that's it that's his nhl i'm gonna go ahead and say it right now grace this is grace the last game of his hockey career is grace oh my god he feels so good about himself and that's that's it definitely this this is going to be grace here because uh at that point he's done and we have an in their own words on on his reflection in hockey let's just call it his uh how he feels and what he what maybe what he should have done differently let's see here in their own words quote i wish i had slowed down and taken more of it in i was young and you're kind of awestruck getting paid a lot of money and playing with guys you watched as a little kid. I wish I had been maybe 29 able to stop, look around and see the situation I was in, which

I think a lot of people would say. Not anything. We always say, we say this all the time to each other, that we're so happy that we didn't do these podcasts and we're so happy we're not like 22 years old and doing this because we would have no fucking idea how lucky this is that we wouldn't know how to deal with it or handle it. Or we'd be a disaster. We'd be a mess.

You'd be sending people dick pics. It would be a fucking all over the place. All over the place. It'd be a fucking disaster. I was a monster when I was that age. So, yeah, we're very, very happy. So I understand that at that age it's difficult and uh so he that's his reflection looking back 1998 1999 now after the after in

the nhl and he doesn't know he's done in the nhl he doesn't even know oh you don't know you're going back down to the minors you think you might come back up he's like 21 22 years old at this point so you don't think well i'm ready to cash it to cash it in and start a carpeting business and go back to maybe I'll work in the zinc mine for a while. It's not what you're thinking, probably. He plays for the Cleveland Lumberjacks, who have a terrible logo of a, it looks like a badger or a beaver or something like that with a sneer on his face and an ax in his hand. It's really weird. Yeah, it a like a sneer on his face and an axe in his hand like it's

it's really weird uh yeah it's like a hockey stick axe right very weird here they they formerly were the muskegon uh muskegon zephyrs but they realized that was an awful name uh so they they uh muskegon already is just a fucked up word yeah they then they named them the mohawks because they figured the zephyrs were terrible. Oh, that's not racist. No, no. And then they went to the Lumberjacks after that. They just did that here.

Ended up moving to Cleveland in 1992. Here, he plays there. He plays in 81 games for them. This is the IHL, International Hockey League. 22 goals, 21 assists. So, not too shabby. He's great. 64 penalty minutes.

Yeah. Yeah, he's what they call in baseball a 4a guy yeah that's what they were rod told me that the four the 4a guys are the guys who are really good triple a players but not good enough to play in the majors they keep bringing them up and down because it's like oh look at him he's hitting 310 down there and he comes up and hits 220 in the majors it's just 4a guys they call them so uh november 26th 1999 he's traded by tampa so tampa's just given up on him clearly uh they trade him uh to montreal so he must be happy about that he's feeling like oh fuck i got traded to the the goddamn canadians yeah this is a real team this

is an original six here not fucking around he gets tradedordie Dwyer. I don't know who that is. Who sounds like a hockey player. Yeah, he does. Gordie Dwyer. That's a hockey player. Like, you can't even fucking, there's no doubt about that, who that is here. Gordie Dwyer ended up playing 78 total games in the NHL. He would end up playing until 2004, actually. He ended up playing for Tampa Bay, and then he ended up going back to Montreal a little bit later on.

In his career, zero goals, four assists for him. But a lot of penalty minutes. In 99-2000, he had 135 penalty minutes for Tampa in 24 games. He piled them up. Yeah, that was the year they traded for him. If they needed somebody to go out there and take the minutes, that's the guy. That's your goon guy because in 24 games he had 135 minutes that's just you get out there you fight and you skate over to the penalty box wait to get out almost seven minutes go back and fight that's

that's a lot of a whole lot it's a lot of minutes there uh 99 2000 and 2000 and 2001 seasons both he plays for the Detroit Vipers here uh they are the vipers where i love where these teams come from and go were originally the salt lake golden eagles which again i like that that's that's a one thing utah needs more hockey yeah i guess uh i don't know uh in 1994 it was purchased by palace sports and entertainment who own the pistons and the stadium they play in the arena they play in. They relocated them to Detroit for the 94-95 season. They had a...

Jesus Christ, this is worse than a name that team contest. They had a promotional deal, a sponsorship deal with the Chrysler Corporation, which led to the team being changed to the Vipers after the car. That is exactly right. That is embarrassing. That is seriously bad. And a similar deal was in place with another team, the Continental Indoor Soccer League, which was owned by the same group, Palace Sports. They changed the name of their team to the Detroit Neon.

Oh, no. Like a Dodge Neon. Oh, my God. That's embarrassing. they changed the name of their team to the detroit neon oh no like a dodge neon oh my god that's embarrassing is the most embarrassing fucking thing and where was this at i've ever heard that's detroit until i heard this it was the most embarrassing thing the detroit le barons no it's worse it's a worse car okay they changed the name from the neon later on to the detroit safari oh no after that piece of shit gmc safari so even fucking worse they might as well call themselves the pontiac aztecs what the fuck are you people doing what is wrong with you how are you going to get a fan base your whole team is just keep you keep naming it after terrible fucking cars.

Awful. Like the worst ones. Like the Viper's a great car. That's a great car. It's just a douchey car. I get it. In Detroit, they make those cars, but they're still not like that. Neon's a great car. None of them are like, I think whoever would make it be like, don't buy one of those. Let me tell you something. That car's a goddamn punchline. It's like the Reliant K. I'm surprised it gets to the dealership once we're done with it. I'm surprised it doesn't fall apart getting loaded on the truck. Thing's a piece of crap. It's not our fault. It's just a piece of crap car. He also plays for the Quebec Citadels.

It's another car. Another car. I believe that's a, you know what it is? It's the Chrysler version of the Dodge Durango. That's what the Citadel is. Oh, okay. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

No, they used to have the Citadel was like one of those old cop looking cars. That's like a sedan. No, that's not a Citadel. That's something else. I know what you're right. You're right. No, they used to have the Citadel. It was like one of those old cop-looking cars. That's like a sedan. No, that's not a Citadel. That's something else. I know what you're thinking, though. I just can't think of it. It wasn't in the 70s and 80s I'm talking about. Yeah, it's not the Continental.

It's the goddamn Sentinel. Is it the Sentinel? No, it's a different. That's a Grand Theft Auto car. Oh, okay. It's not a real car. That's a Grand Theft Auto 5. They have a Sentinel and 4.

It's a pretty good car, actually, if you guess it. It's juiced. You can bring it to the shop, and if you hook it up, it's pretty good, actually. I know what you're thinking. I know I've seen the goddamn car. Yeah, there's something. I don't know what the hell it is. It's a lot of we don't know what we're talking about.

We don't know about zinc. We don't know what cars we're talking about. I can see it. We're going on the road for a hell week this week, so we're just trying to get through it and not lose our minds here. Are you thinking of a Caprice? No, I'm thinking of a goddamn... We'll look it up afterwards, because now I need to know if there was a Citadel at all here.

They played there. The Citadels were Montreal Canadiens, minor league team, obviously. They ended up being merged into the Hamilton Bulldogs later on. After that, he plays for the Chicago Wolves of the International. I've never heard of them. You just reacted. Sounds like a bit. Not the Wolves.

You acted like the Wolves gave your Aunt Lupus. Not the Wolves. They gave my Aunt Lupus. She played for them. Here's my first time. I didn't know if I was horny or scared. I saw my Lupus-riddled aunt coming at me in a hockey uniform. Remember when Arizona had the fucking Roadrunners? That's what I see.

Oh, the Phoenix Roadrunners. It was just a goddamn joke punchline team. Yeah, the Phoenix Road. I do remember that. And the Phoenix Firebirds, the baseball team. That was the Giants minor league team. Was it? That was it? That was the Giants minor league team. Was it? That was it?

That was the Giants AAA. Yeah, a lot of major leaguers out of that. Goddamn joke, too. That was, yeah. But, I mean, a lot of major, Giants shit. I mean, Barry Bonds played for, no, he didn't. No, because he got free agent over there. Matt Williams played for them.

Did he really? Fuck yeah. Yeah, Rod was on the same team. Reggie Jackson played for the Firebirds? No. Reggie Jackson played for the- Giants, right. No. Reggie Jackson played for the ASU college team. Rightgie Jackson played for the Giants, right. No. Reggie Jackson

played for the ASU college team. He didn't play out here. He didn't play for the Giants, did he? No. He played for Oakland. He played for Anaheim and Oakland and the Yankees. Wait, what? I don't think I mentioned Reggie Jackson. I think you just said Reggie Jackson.

Maybe I did. I'm exhausted. Wait, did he play for the Firebirds? No thinking of barry bonds another hall of fame worthy home run hitter from asu same fucking i don't know but not the firebirds but not the firebirds no but i yeah i know uh that was the giant in the 80s and 90s that was the giants uh triple a so i mean yeah rod played for them before i don't think i knew that yeah he he told me about that he played with matt williams and guys like that yeah down there Because I'd been to a few of their games, and I was like, this is fucking pathetic. There's like 13 people here. Well, it's 118 degrees outside.

Outdoor minor league baseball is not a good sell in Phoenix. I always wondered how that would survive. I love to watch baseball, and I'm not going and sitting in the heat to watch it like that. It's hot here in the summer. I can't explain to you people who don't understand how fucking hot it is here in the summer you think well that's at night it doesn't matter that night it's just as hot the ground releases the heat then and it makes it hotter from the first it comes from the top and then it comes from the bottom it's horrible it's 105 degrees at 2 a.m and it happens yeah i'm watching a minor league baseball in those conditions. Sorry. Think about how cold it is in Canada right now.

That's how hot it is here in August. Opposite. Yeah. He plays 13 games with the Wolves. One zero goals, one assist, two penalty minutes. So I don't know what that is. The Chicago Wolves. Obviously, they played in Rosemont out there, a suburb of Chicago.

And they eventually now they're a minor league affiliate of the Vegas Golden Knights out there. Really? So, yes. 2001, 2002, he goes to England to play hockey. Uh-oh. Goes to play for the Bracknell Bees in Berkshire, UK. They complete, the league there is the National Ice Hockey League. So, it's kind of a knockoff, I guess.

They throw an I in there? Yeah, an I-H-L, I guess it would be. So I'll tell you about them in a second here. This fucking team is hilarious. Another disaster here. I didn't know English people played hockey at all. I don't know if they cared about hockey, if that got there or not. But apparently they try.

I don't know if they cared about hockey, if that got there or not, but apparently they try. Now, in 2001, 2002, he plays in 45 games, four goals, 16 assists, 36 penalty minutes. And 2002, 2003, he plays in 32 games, three goals, 10 assists, 38 penalty minutes. So pretty consistently doing pretty much the same thing. Now, in 2007, the owners walked away from this team they said we don't fucking want this team anymore they basically abandoned it like a like a building whose plumbing and electricity has gone to shit they just walked away from it uh so uh a fan of the team named katie lf lf through and and the and the supporters club chairman, the chairman of the supporters club, like the fan club, a guy named Stuart Stuart Robert Robinson formed the Bees Ice Management Limited to take over the operating license and came up with a rescue plan to see the club through the end of the season. If the fans were willing to help through pledging donations, it's a fucking professional hockey team and a podcast the hell is going on here you cannot you can't fucking crowdsource a professional sports

team i'm sorry you can't do that i think that's great that they did it but give me a fucking break that is amazing it's incredible they saved the team it was like a bad television show that got canceled and they're like no bring it back louis with his telethon to save the team shit that's what they did man uh they did it and the club successfully completed that season and then uh they ended up going on to more seasons after that so they saved the team found another ownership group or whatever and that was that so they saved the team by this is the whitest electric boogaloo everybody pitch in yeah they're gonna close down the ice rink the community ice rink that all the skilled hockey players are playing on the big city turbo and ozone ever it totally is incredible so 2003 through 2008 now uh he goes to

las vegas to play for the las vegas wranglers a minor league team there they are it's in the uh east coast hockey league the echl uh he this is where he wants to go kind of settle down a little bit by the way his brother played in 95 96 for the hartford whalers oh he played one season only played in like eight games or something that's it and then went back down to the minors too so they're both you know both marginal, edge, kind of fringe guys here. The Vegas Wranglers here, which, again, if I think of a city that needs more hockey, it's Vegas. But they're the golden whatever the fucks.

Golden Knights are doing fine. They're doing well out there. Yeah, they're doing fine. Did they win? I don't know if they won. I saw they won a game tonight. I don't know. But who won last year? Because they were near the finals or some shit weren't they or whatever what

do they call that stanley copson it's probably the fucking lord shitbags frenchman fucking tournament tournament i don't know that's a i i do like when hockey used to have the different names before it was just like north east west south it was like the smythe and the norse and the really yeah those are the names of the divisions oh jesus it was weird so they had like all these different i like i thought that was kind of cool it set them apart but it made casual fans what the fuck does that mean i think what is that and they just went we got to do like east west south north this is crazy no one knows what's happening world of warcraft yeah no one knows this is we got some Middle Earth shit going on here. And I feel like this is a problem for casual fans.

That's what it seems like they've tried to do. They tried to cut down on fighting, increase scoring, and sort of make it more mainstream and palatable as far as even that, changing division names, doing things like that. Just trying to make it so people who aren't ingrained and indoctrinated from an early age into hockey can still watch hockey. Now, 2013, the Orleans Hotel and Casino notified the team that it would not renew their lease for the following season. That's where they played. And so this prompts the franchise to they look for a new venue. So this prompts the franchise to look for a new venue.

They announce that plans that they're going to build a 3,500-seat facility at the Plaza Hotel and Casino in downtown Vegas. I guess Old Strip down there in that shithole. The Orleans ain't much better. No, the Orleans sucks, too. You don't want to be there. That's a piece of shit. That's in that weird middle ground. It's no good.

However, they end up announcing they wouldn't move to the Plaza because they had an idea they were going to build a rink on the rooftop was their stadium. And then after they actually did like engineering shit, they go, you can't do that. It's not going to fall over and everyone's going to die. And they went off. Fuck. God damn it. Well, stratosphere has got fucking roller coaster. Come on. Can't get a 3,500 people in there and some hockey players.

What are we talking about here? Come on. Fucking get it up there. This is Vegas. Anything's possible. What if I comped you our best room? Then is it an engineering possibility? How about that?

Did the physics change if I say give you 500 in chips for the blackjack table? What if I promised you at halftime a white tiger will eat a man every day? How about that? And a prostitute. What if I had all of those things for you halftime i think it's intermission with hockey right because there's 20 there's two of them it's a 20 minute intermission there's three aren't there well three quarters there's three periods but there's two breaks there between the first and the second the second and the third because after the third it's a break too but it's as long as they want the end until the next game really they could just take as long as to do whatever they want at that point you were saying two two intermissions i thought you meant two people oh no no no no yeah so we just went

we crossed over we were crossed so uh then they uh as an alternative they wanted to build an arena in the plaza's parking lot and they found out that was too expensive and probably illegal so yeah they were they couldn't do it so they ended up receiving a voluntary suspension of operations for the 2014 2015 season seeking a permanent home obviously they were going to come back on january 30th 2015 they announced via facebook that the wranglers would cease operations after not being able to find a suitable home within a reasonable time frame to submit to the board of whatever the fuck. And then in 2016, obviously, Vegas was awarded the NHL team. And now there's no need for this team.

No Wranglers. Whatsoever. Walk out of here. No need for them. Now, 2003, though, is when both Jason and Mike signed with the team. They both signed with Las Vegas. I guess Jason lives there. He has four kids and he's married and all that shit.

Jason does. So he is like he's older than Mike and he's more settled in. So Mike is like, oh, I'll just move where my brother is. And that's kind of what they do here. I guess Jason played for the Las Vegas Thunder of the IHL in 98, 99,

and he had bought a home out there then and just kind of made that his home base. I guess he liked Vegas. And he said, quote, this is when they first got there, 2003, quote, a few months ago I relocated to the north end of town and Mike moved in. Jason says, I have three kids, four with him living with me. It's about Mike. Mike said, but I'm the built-in babysitter yeah that's his excuse like hey i'm fun uncle guy that you know built-in babysitter uh so uh then end up mike ends up buying a home of his own which is like right down the street from jason obviously it's like on the same street and uh mike says once i move in i'll get

out of his hair but i'll still be babysitting all the time. So, you know, whatever. They found mini Canada down here. Their own little Kimberly. My own private Kimberly. Yeah, with no snow. Lake Mead never freezes over. No, no.

The hockey is a little harder there. They said they're both kind of, they know their NHL career's over at this point once you're out of the league for six years i think it's a little tough to make a comeback you played in england and you know for a team that was fan sourced i think you're you're kind of like yeah i'm not gonna the the penguins probably aren't gonna call me anytime soon i don't think i'll be playing for the blackhawks tomorrow it's not gonna happen here uh so they said that they they wanted stability uh they were

looking for stability they wanted to play they don't want to they don't want to bounce from minor league team to minor league team every two years they wanted to stay in vegas they both told the team we want to stay here for a long time we want to be here we're not trying to move up or down we just want to have a thing here basically and uh have some stability and have some family and be able to have kids and settle down okay which who the fuck wouldn't that seems normal to move every year bouncing around from england to montreal to life's crazy to detroit to cleveland it's it's nuts and tomorrow there's no there's no guarantee yeah that's the other thing you could be in the zinc mine tomorrow you have no fucking idea uh whatever uh now uh mike said when he was going to play for las vegas quote i'm looking forward to being here

and just having fun getting back to the basics of hockey and not worrying every day if you'll get traded or sent down there you go we're just going to go out and play the game the way it's supposed to be played just going out to have fun yeah uh 2003 2004 mike plays in 72 games for them five goals 20 assists 95 penalty minutes yeah that's not bad too having a good time doing it decent numbers uh 2004 2005 he plays in 60 games uh has two goals 13 assists 65 penalty minutes 2005 2006 68 games two goals 23 assists not bad 59 penalty minutes uh 2006 2007 56 goals uh 56 goals are 56 games two goals seven assists 56 goals all of a sudden would be amazing yeah if he went from thinking two every year to 56 what the shit that would be impressive he fucking took steroids and i don't even know what else maybe the

penguins will be calling if he had 56 goals probably but what the hell's going on there jesus christ what's up there uh 45 penalty minutes and uh that's when he kind of officially sort of retires uh 2006 2007 uh 2007 2008 he's kind of like a kind of like an intern coach kind of but he also uh uh he ends up playing in two games that year because there were some injuries i guess they were supposed to play idaho one game and they had a lot of a lot of injuries and guys got called up to different leagues so they were kind of stuck so the coach said that uh told him that he'd need him so he hadn't skated in a while suit up yeah suit up buddy he was like okay so he played like 19 minutes or whatever playing all of idaho yeah playing everybody and uh going into that though he had 598 games played too total so this is this

gets him all the way to 600 games played also which apparently was a big thing because the coach told him he's going to need him the next night too so he ends up having to play back-to-back nights wow which for guys who are used to playing isn't easy being that old and that out of the league yeah long that's that's out of the league for that long he's still only he's 30 years old so he's not still he's not that old but there's guys in the plenty of guys that are 30 in the nhl but if you're not used to if you haven't played that year and got your legs under you to play two games in a row uh so he said he uh he went to his daughter's play uh piano recital and then uh went over to uh went over to the orleans there and uh he was he was late basically threw his uniform on and fucking went out during

the national anthem and all of that he said he needed some oxygen yeah uh after he was uh going he said uh quote thank god coach could see i was tired i'm glad i could help the team i had a run to los i had a i had to run in the las vegas marathon apparently after the game he had to really the next morning he had to run in the las vegas marathon jesus like so i was hurting you know as i would imagine uh uh so uh yeah he he runs a half marathon on two hours of sleep basically nope uh that sounds fucking terrible sounds like this weekend he said quote it was three days of hell for me but it was worth it but at least he had to do that all in the same city he didn't have to do that in boston chicago detroit and baltimore

in four fucking straight days like a maniac he He said, three days of hell for me. It was worth it. I definitely felt it for the next four days, especially after that 13-mile run. Two hockey games and a marathon sounds like a little bit too fucking much here. For me, anyway, I'm not doing that shit ever. Never. I guess his whole problem is he has a bulging disc that really bothers him and that's his problem is it makes his whole he's very uncomfortable doing anything and uh that's too too much for hockey so it wasn't

worth it anymore your life up yeah especially in hockey is uh very twisty and turn i mean just to stay up on skates you got to have a lot of uh it's a lot of muscles yeah in basketball or football or baseball you can just stand there and just stand there and hockey even just to stand there on the skates takes some form of core. Yeah. It takes some core and some leg strength and some, you know, a lot of shit, some ankles that aren't snapping wherewithal and balance. Yeah. So balance that sort of thing. So after that, he becomes a coach after this, a coach for the team. He said that he was interested in that a lot. He said, quote, but he felt good after those two games, though. He said it made him feel like not like such shit again. Like he felt like before he said he felt like he couldn't go out there anymore. And that made him feel kind of depressed. And the fact that he went out there and didn't make a complete fool of himself for a couple of days.

Yeah, I was like, hey, he's still got it. Walked away a little swagger yeah he's like an older guy who somehow uh somehow bang some 20 year old broad and he's like i don't know how that happened but i still got it you know what i mean hey look at that he's got some kind of swagger to him god that sounds terrible yeah it was gross too it was super gross he's hairy she has some weird daddy complex thing where she likes old guys because of you know her father was unavailable and then he took advantage of that no kind of knowing it too being real sleazy about it and uh while he was inside or he was thinking the whole thing i shouldn't be doing this and the only reason i am is because she's fucked and she was

nauseous the whole time that's the thing but he wasn't at all. He felt great about the whole procedure. He was just jacked. She was watching the Food Network over his shoulder. So that's what ended up happening. So that was gross. Anyway, he said, those two games really knocked me back to where I was at the end of last season. I feel good now, and I feel like I like to feel good for a lot longer, he says here. Problem is, he does not feel good for too much longer no uh let's talk about what happens to old mike here now uh

he's coaches now because that was 2009 he coaches for the next three years he's a coach on the team and everybody says he's a really good coach for the wranglers for the wranglers uh the young players really like him because this is basically, they're all young players. So you're not coaching. You're coaching to win, but you're also coaching to enhance a young player's game and help them come along in their career. So this is the type of league where they have young players and has-beens. You're either 36 or 20 in this league. So they all like him.

He's good with the younger players because he was a player he knows what to do he knows how to talk he just uh and i think he he always says that he instills in the younger players that they need to savor this and uh how basically what he said about himself where he should have taken more time to take in the nhl and all of that yeah and just tells them to savor the whole thing and enjoy themselves. So decent coach to have until July 5th, 2012 when he turns himself into police after being wanted.

We'll find out in a second here. He turns himself into police at the Clark County Detention Center in Vegas facing, this is a rough one here, two counts of lewdness with a child under the age of 14, one count of sexual assault with a minor under the age of 14, four counts of sexual assault with a minor under the age of 16, and two counts of open or gross lewdness, which might be the greatest charge I've ever heard in there.

They've had all those charges and they're like let's just call him gross too throw gross on he's fucking gross look dude he's fucking gross just put gross on i don't care what are we charged with all the gross ones just gross it's just uh he's in the it's just a whole pocket of gross is what he's got going on there it's a gross one the fuck happened yes so two counts of lewdness with a minor under 14, one count of sexual assault. It's nine counts total, and they're all for fucking a kid. Oh, boy. All for fucking someone under the age of 14, which is not okay.

No. In any case. Anywhere. Anywhere. Somehow he is freed on $75,000 bail. What? Now, if you have nine counts and the word gross is in them, I feel like your bail should be higher. I'm just saying. It should be so absorbent.

It should be super high. You should not be able to afford it. Because there's kids everywhere. Everywhere. They're all over the place. They're literally in every place. You can just go anywhere. You go to the grocery store, there's fucking kids all over the place.

I shouldn't have said it like that. In his mind, there is. Oh, my God. That was not on purpose. Right. So instead, they let him out, grossness and all. He's walking around all fucking gross on the streets, which is goddamn fucking disgusting here.

$75,000 bail, all sorts of lewdness. Now, he's a public figure in vegas yeah he's like known in the community he does all sorts of stuff you know he goes to mall openings and shit like that you know everybody kind of knows who he is there's not a lot of sports in vegas so the minor league and the college teams are are a thing there that's all you got what the hell do you do now you've been charged with nine counts of being fucking gross oh boy i mean i don't even know i don't even where would you even go like for anything would you hole up in your house i mean i don't know he did that for a while then finally he's like i can't do this anymore and he was hungry one day for lunch and he found a place

it smelled delicious and he walked in the door and the bell rang and it was the shawarma man. And he said, How is it you've come to arrive here? Why are you here? You're gross. I hear all things. You're gross. No gross in my plate.

I no make for you. No. What you want? Lamb I make? No, I no make for you. No, no. You understand. No, I can deal with people come in my plate. I no make for you. No. What you want? Lamb I make? No, I no make for you. No, no. You understand. No.

I can deal with people come in with cocaine. I say, maybe you have a little bit for shawarma. Maybe it happened, you know. I say, maybe you come out, you have guns. I don't know where you grow up. Where I grow up, I have gun too. I understand. Things happen, you know.

But you, under 14, why you do that? Why? I don't understand. No. You go now. You go. Sign say you go now you go sign say closed you go sign say closed out now i no make for you no lamb for you even my lamb is over 14 all lamb i'd see i know no no you of course you want lamb because it's young no you out sign say closed out out and he gets his saber and he comes out of jesus that's it for mcbain at that

point he knows he got the idea yeah that's what i mean he even a lunch he couldn't have he was chased away by by the shawarma man with his giant shawarma knife so tell me how this happened okay this is disgusting he had a preliminary court hearing scheduled then it was continued for like a month later it's like no no let's. Yeah, let's sort this all out. Take your gross ass out of my courtroom. This is fucking disturbing. OK, his lawyer, Bob Draskovich, hair turned immediately bright silver as soon as he took this case. He says that his client hopes to avoid trial to spare his family and the victim any more hurt.

that his client hopes to avoid trial to spare his family and the victim any more hurt uh he says uh quote he's seeking to resolve this case and has no interest in putting his family through the crucible of a prosecution that's what he said now he's he's a he's a good guy now he's gonna throw himself on the fire you know to save his family the embarrassment obviously uh the las vegas wranglers needed a statement uh this is not very silver on this one. They actually were like, fuck this guy. They said gross. We can't have, we're not going to associate with him anymore, right? We're not going to say we're going to let the process play out and all that.

No, no, no. They said, quote, we are saddened to hear about today's news. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of the victim in this matter, and we hope for a swift and decisive resolution.'s only one victim with all these charges yes one victim and he that what they basically said is he's fucking gross we've decided it and uh we're done with this asshole as soon as we heard those charges we don't care if it's true not no homeless hockey team is calling you gross gross we have nowhere to play and it's still better than whatever you're doing because it's you're gross sir sir you are gross dexter manley

comes into the shop you're letting him in here he's not he's he is white trash but he's also gross these two different things white trash and gross totally gross so uh his grossness let's find out what it was um well if it's not bad enough uh and it is fucking bad enough that he is doing all this with a child under the age of 14 let's uh find out who that child is no it is his stepdaughter of course his fucking stepdaughter it comes out that this is who it is which is scary and i won't name her in all this in case her name's not really out there a lot it's very kind of very very so i'm not gonna i'm not gonna i'm not gonna talk maybe she kind of wants to be more private about it so that's on her i don't blame her either if this guy's a complete asshole apparently this happened over the course of almost four years

for four years jimmy from the time this is fucking disgusting, from the time she was 12 to 16. Ruin this kid's. That's that's her where she's supposed to be maturing and just coming of age in her own way and becoming a person, becoming a person and not being corrupted by an adult asshole like this. So apparently it started when she was 12 this is how much of a kid she was she was sleeping in bed with her mother and him in between in the middle like a kid does like a little kid does what a nightmare and that's when it started uh he apparently began touching her inappropriately and then it escalates from there obviously once he feels emboldened uh enough to do whatever then you know gets away with that and it's like any other fucking sick asshole uh but

this isn't the only thing he did okay this would be all bad enough this is all a normal yeah that's all jailable this is all jailable and this is all not i don't want to say normal but this happens stepdad and this is like this is a stereotype is what this is. But the problem is not only was he, you know, having sex with his 13 year old stepdaughter and 12 year old stepdaughter for years. But while he's coach of the team, he this is I don't even know. I don't even know what kind of a fucking mind thinks about this sort of shit. even know what kind of a fucking mind thinks about this sort of shit um he notices and he he found out from his stepdaughter uh through whatever that she had a crush on one of the wranglers players because they're like 20 and teenage girls have crushes or teenage boys have crushes teenage kids

have crushes on people who are slightly older so this is a guy named jason chris chuck uh just a you know wranglers player that's there he has no idea what's going on uh what mcpain does what this fucking monstrous lunatic does he creates a false email address pretending to be jason chris chuck uh-huh uh a false email address and contacts his stepdaughter through this false email address and pretends to be this player that she has a crush on yeah this is fucked up okay think about this she's he's in the same house with her doing this and she's like oh wow this is great insane so uh what he did was he emailed and texted uh all sorts of dick pics to her claiming to be Jason. And they're his?

They are whoever's. I don't know where. You can get a dick pic anywhere. You can pick it off the internet or who the hell knows where. But he was, I don't know if it was the same dick he sent consistently or if he was different, inconsistent. Big ones, little ones. Yeah, I don't know.

All different shades. Yeah, that's what I mean. I don't know if he had a good script supervisor for that to to keep continuity on his dick pics but this is sick shit man uh continuity on his dick pics that is the grossest letters words together yeah and then it's fucking disgusting man and then also talked her into uh uh talking like, basically pretending to be Jason, the other player, and talking her into talking about sexual things she did with Mike, but not mentioning Mike, basically. So, like, her sexual... Trying to relive it?

Yeah, yeah. Having her talk about it with what he thinks is another guy. Right. And got all sorts of nude pictures of her and all sorts of shit like that. Catfish just stepped on his own fucking cell while he was already raping her. That's the thing. He was already raping her. He's already having sex with her.

And now he's got to also. It's like it's not it's not bad enough that he's doing that and dominating her physically in the house and fucking with her head and doing all this. It's not bad enough that he's doing that and dominating her physically in the house and fucking with her head and doing all this. But then he's going to fucking in the one thing she thinks that she's got an out of and at least is something outside of that. She's it's even all him. I mean, Jesus Christ, this fucking poor girl. I must just not. How do you come back from that? How do you do that?

This is a fucking this is insane, man. This is fucking crazy. He would he he left. He gave her as much as 400 he would pay her for nude pictures he'd be like come on send nude pictures i'll give you money and she would do it because she's 15 and she had a crush on this guy who she thought and she was like oh he's must like me and he's gonna give me money that's pretty cool this is fucking nuts man um and then she would send the nude pictures uh of herself to the fake email address that he created.

And then he would have them. And this is fucking disgusting. He's just trying to dominate her on every level. The Chris Chuck guy said that he was never in contact with the girl, never had a conversation with her ever, had no idea this was going on, didn't know she had a crush on him, didn't know shit. He was just playing hockey while this coach was going behind his back pretending to be him and this girl must have thought wow this guy's a you know he's getting making me send him pictures for money like she must have thought like wow he's not what i thought he was right you know and like it's fucking horrible man um so yeah he's impersonating a guy that he's coaching what are you doing horrible uh wow uh yeah he says

chris chuck says quote uh that he quote believes his friend mike may have pretended to be him to talk to uh to talk to a young girl and he said that he had not and was never in a conversation with the girl yeah his exact quote uh they had a there's a police report that god damn it i wish i could get my hands on but i kind of don't wish i got my hands on it too because it's kind of too much because it's all detailed it's all the things that they're going to charge them with so it's it's detailed uh apparently this details just a lot of different sexual encounters all over the place including including taking her on a trip to europe in 2010 and having sex with her over there

in 2010 when she was 14 years old they could have done worse with couldn't they do like crossing intercontinental sex trafficking that's what i'm saying it's extra i don't know you can't bring a fucking 14 year old across an ocean to fuck her. Like, that's not okay. For reasons of sex. That's gross. That's not okay. I mean, I assume, you know. Maybe that's the gross part.

Yeah. That's all gross. That is pretty gross. That's pretty vile. All of this is gross. Oh, Jesus. What has he done that's not gross so far? But why is it?

How does he go from playing in the NHL to coaching to kid fucking? And this never came up. That's the other thing, too. It's not like, oh, yeah, once it once it came out, there wasn't people going. Yeah, he was always kind of winking at the young girls in the stands or anything. And never came up like when we talked about everybody else. Sweetan. And we talked about Hall, Buck Zoom, Hoff and Mel Hall there.

Every one of them. Everybody was like, yeah, they always kind of dug the young girls. Everybody kind of thought it was a little weird. we were all like yeah i guess he's fine but this is just like he is mr upstanding fella he is the coach of the team and my suit on all the time and he's got his family and his kids and his brother played there and his family and everything is fucking on the up and up and he's so you know he's so fucking whatever i live with my brother i'm the built-in babysitter that creepy shit that's why i have that that's that's why that's in that story otherwise what the hell

do you care if he's babysitting his brother's kids except for the fact that his brother left his fucking kids with this guy and who knows what the fuck happened and if i'm jason when this came out that's the first thing i'm doing is i'm going to that goddamn jail and i'm gonna grab him by the fucking collar yeah and, listen, motherfucker. I better not find out. Yeah. You better tell me now because if I hear it from one of them, I am going to have you stabbed in here. Yeah.

I will pay a guy to stab you in here hard. I don't care if we're homeless, too. Don't give a fuck. You're getting stabbed. Fuck that. So, yeah. Anyway, this is insane. Yes, I would hire someone to do that if they.

I think I might, too. Molested, especially if my brother molested my kid. Oh, for sure. That's worse than a stranger. You get it harder at that point. So this girl here, the victim, she tells police that she held back from telling her mother what had happened because she thought it would hurt her mother greatly. Of course it would hurt her mother greatly that she brought a monster into the house that's molesting her fucking daughter that's why it would hurt her if she's a if she's a good mother or any kind of mother uh she planned to keep the abuse secret until

she could leave home when she turned 18 so she was gonna keep it all bottled up until she could get out of the house and it didn't matter anymore basically and then be like by the way uh you know mike's been fucking me and then have a good one bye bye going off to college now you two deal with that because i've dealt with it for like six years now so your problem now ma sorry uh so what mcbain does once he finds this out that he's been told on because eventually the girl tells her mother uh she gets super pissed mike finds out he's pissed this is before he's this is before he turns himself in in this is what leads to the turning himself in he flees

to Oregon where his brother has moved his brother's moved to Oregon he flees to Oregon I don't know to if I'm his brother I'm like you ain't coming to my fucking house don't you step foot on my my four kids get the hell out of here Mike ends up trying to kill himself

he takes what they call in the medical report an excessive amount of pills and tries to kill himself after this whole thing, which seems like he went to go say goodbye to his brother is what it seems like he did. He doesn't work, obviously, because he doesn't do well in the NHL. He's not good at suicide either. We're trying to find a talent at this point right now for this guy uh catfishing seems to be what he's good at convincing people he's lying just just mischievous lying yeah i would say so so jesus just a fucking liar so apparently uh the the reason he fled is the mother confronted him about it and he said no no i don't want you i don't know what you're talking about and then was gone the next day in the next state tries to kill himself he's in the hospital the victim's mother his wife i assume to be future ex-wife pretty soon she visits

him in the hospital uh to talk to him because she wants to know what the fuck is going on so she plays this very uh very well here uh she if they had a bunch of conversations and she she like caressed it out of him basically she was like you know just talk to me and you know all that shit and he came out with it and said that uh he sexually abused the daughter and then that he was emailing and texting her and then uh all that shit he spilled the beans which wow i don't know how she didn't fucking kill him in his hospital bed. Yeah, near a sharp implement. Then he wrote a sorry letter to her.

He wrote an apology letter to the girl. Oh, my God. To the fucking girl, which obviously the police took because that's pretty good evidence of admitting to everything there. of admitting to everything there, in addition to the photos that are emailed of dicks and everything else here, writes a sorry letter, along with an email exchange with the victim's mother, where he, in writing, goes back and forth

with her detailing exactly what happened. So he just absolutely put, just incriminated the shit out of himself here to write a sorry letter. Once you do that, you're done there. Then it's at that point finally uh after this so he's in the hospital recovering this is when he talks to the mother several times his wife there writes a letter to the kid and then the mother leaves goes back to las vegas and uh several email exchanges about the whole thing and that's when it goes to the

cops a police report is made and he's a wanted man so he returns uh he hires an attorney and he turns himself in on july 5th of that year and running from this there's no running from it you can't get away from this you're fucked you're totally fucked yeah you have every bit of evidence against you and anywhere you go you are target no one no one feels bad for you no god no and you molested your stepdaughter fuck you fucking monster it's insane so he retains an attorney uh turns himself in and uh and uh that's that so uh uh september 22nd he's in court september of 2012 he's in court this is before his next court date is scheduled he's got the he had the preliminary hearing and he's got next court date is scheduled, he had the preliminary hearing, then he's got a court date scheduled in October.

He makes a deal. He's got to make a deal. He can face 40 years for this. Holy shit. That's the 40 fucking years he's looking at. 40 years hard time for molesting your stepdaughter. That's awesome. Is a lot.

Yeah, and that's not going to be a pleasant time for him, I have a feeling. So he ends up pleading guilty uh finally gives it up uh in clark county district court to reduced felony charges i don't even know why they do it i get that you want to save money but with this guy i'd be like no we're gonna we're gonna get you on every single fucking charge that we have because you wrote letters and emails and let's get this girl up there and see what the fuck she says and see how this jury reacts to it because i have a feeling they're gonna feel bad for you sir are gross and you are fucking gross yeah i hope they can let's find out if they kept the gross one in here because that's the only one that really matters

that's the sting and make sure you tell him he's gross yeah everyone needs to know uh he pleads guilty to reduce felony charges of attempted sexual assault no no he didn't attempt to sexually assault her he continuously raped her for four years that's not attempted attempted lewdness with a child that's what they plea him down to which fuck that it's not even gross that's not even gross they just basically said you tried to do something that wasn't even gross that's not enough i don think, to really hammer home the point of what the fuck happened here. Oh, boy. His lawyer, Robert Draskovich, tells the Las Vegas Review-Journal, which did great work on this, by the way.

The Las Vegas Review-Journal did all sorts of, they really got up and down this whole case. So they were the main source of information for this whole thing was their writing. they detailed it and they kept it like i said there wasn't a lot of sports there in 2012 no professional sports so they're you know they're trying they're trying to find something so uh he pleaded this was uh his uh his attorney said that he agreed to plead guilty before the trial because he because he was remorseful and didn't want to cause the girl and her family any more pain or embarrassment. Not because I could get 40 years and be granted gross for the rest of my fucking life. That's not why. Horseshit.

So he faces two to 40 years in prison. Two to 40. Two to 40. 40 years in prison two to 40 two to 40 so that means his maximum is 40 and then he's going to be up for parole every couple of years probably he has to do two at least no well this is that's that's what he could be sentenced to anywhere it's not even no that's what he faces anywhere from two to 40 years this is a lot of discretion based on circumstance and uh anywhere from two to 40 which is a big of a window that circumstance and uh anywhere from 2 to 40 which is a big of a window that's a huge window that's like you're gonna do like 13 months or you're

gonna do 26 years like that's a big difference in in time it's like a cable company uh sentence yeah that's that's crazy and uh they uh also after that he will be on lifetime supervision as a sex offender according to to the terms of his plea agreement. He'll always have to register. He'll always have to check in. He'll always have to go, hey, how you doing, pedophile over here? Hey, keep your kids in your house. I'll fuck them.

How you doing? Nice to meet you. Hey, your kids. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call him cute. Fucking terrible. So during the sentencing hearing, his lawyer, Mike's lawyer, Robert Draskovich hair silvers can be looking like Christopher Lloyd from back to the future.

Yeah. He asked that his client be sentenced to the minimum two to eight years in prison. He said that McBain since, this is amazing. This to get up in a court of, I get that you have to, and this is our,

our system is based on advocates from both sides, but to get it for a human being, I get that you have to, and this is our system is based on advocates from both sides. But for a human being, like on a logistical level, to get in a room full of other adults, many of which have college degrees and the judge went to law school and there's lawyers everywhere. Quote, since confronted, since first confronted with the allegations, he's accepted responsibility and asked to ask to negotiate the case so the victim wouldn't have to go through a trial. He has to get up there and say that since first because he fucked that girl for four years, he didn't he didn't have she didn't accept shit then. But since it all, you know, since he was going to be arrested and put in jail for 40 years, he's come around to the fact that maybe he's fucked up. What, are you kidding me, man? Jesus Christ. He's had a real internal struggle the last few days. He's really gone through enough, I think.

The last four years, he was cruising, just on cruise control. The girl, she was a mess. Wow. But now he's excited. And also, too, he's a fucking saint. The only reason he wants to take a deal is to save this poor girl any more embarrassment or anything of a trial. Because he's such a good guy. That's not the ballsiest thing this lawyer says in this whole process.

It's because he cares about the kids. He cares, Jimmy. That's the problem. He cares too much. He's like OJ. He loved Nicole too much. He. He cares, Jimmy. That's the problem. He cares too much. He's like OJ. He loved Nicole too much. He loves that. He cared too much.

Jimmy, that's the only problem. This is terrible. This is fucking awful. So he also wrote apology letters to the victim here and the victim's parents in accordance to the court thing to show what a good guy he is. Not not a beforehand. Also, he's enrolled in sex offense counseling before sentencing wow you think you think you're

fucking your stepdaughter you need some kind of something i don't give a shit uh then in open court in front of people what did he say college degrees and robes on and people who took off work to be there that day to be on the jury for like 12 bucks or whatever they pay you he says quote mr mcbain is a very good man who did a very bad thing holy shit whoa you wow how silver can your hair be you're said that is that could be that silver age middle silver haired middle-aged white man statement of the year right there. I'm going to mark it down right now for a scummy. Mr. McBain is a very good man who did a very bad thing.

Makes Robert Draskovich the 2018 Scummy Award winner for silver haired middle aged white man of the fucking year. How do you. Holy balls. There's never been a really good man who has fucked a kid i'm gonna never say that never say that with great enthusiasm because that's never that's not uh that's not a mistake no that's a character flaw that's not a mistake that's not something that's like oh man i got had too too many drinks last night and I was fucking.09 and they busted that. That's a mistake that I can see happening.

It's not smart, but obviously I can see. This is a character flaw. Yeah. For you to actively look at a 12-year-old girl and be like, I'm going to fuck her. I'm sorry. There's no, you can't redeem that. You're terrible in every way. I'm going to do this in the same bed where her mother's sleeping.

That's how fucking ballsy I am. She could literally just shake her mother and go he's touching me right now and this whole fucking ruse is blown and instead that's how fucking disgusting and gross i am wow uh very very gross here uh the prosecutor on the other hand suggested a sentence of 5 to 15 years in prison which i still think isn't enough. Ask for more. Ask for 30 and see if you get 15. Aim high. Aim high. I'm not going to talk you down. This guy here,

Mark Shifakwa. Wow, that's a fucked up name. Fuck it. Shifalakwa. Mark Shifalakwa is the prosecutor. He says, quote, quite simply, what happened here was horrible. The victim's never going to get over this. The scars of sexual abuse will not heal for her for the rest of her life.

I would say not, especially not this particular kind. Not a one time incident. This is a very trusted individual. It's not only in your home, it's in your bed. Right. Fuck. That's how trusted they are. Insane, man.

So this isn't like elizabeth smart where they took her out of her house yeah to the woods and yeah and it's like wow if you know you're scared of strangers or whatever but you can trust your family and you want this is that takes her for ice cream your mother can't protect you you're touching your mother in the same bed with your mother and she still couldn't protect you from this fucking monster that and it's not the mother's fault obviously obviously. I'm sure if the mother knew about it, she would have said, stop touching my fucking daughter because the second she heard about it, she was on it.

I mean, there was no... There was no delay. There was no delay. The daughter told her, she went right to this motherfucker and was like, what did you do to my kid? I don't know what you're talking about. Oregon, suicide attempt, all that shit. Police report, police report, turned himself in.

Apology. They didn't fuck around. Yeah, that's the whole himself in. Apology. They didn't fuck around. Yeah. That's the whole thing in a nutshell here. Now, the district court judge, David Barker, McBain tells him when he gets to speak for himself, he says, first of all, that I'll respect whatever sentence that you hand down. No shit you will. Yeah, you will. I love when they say that.

Like you have a choice. Right. Like you have a choice. you have a choice i'm not going to do what you say oh you're not really that guy with a gun is going to drag you away literally in shackles that's what's going to happen the phrase remand the the you're fucked defendant into custody and from there it doesn't matter you're done yeah it doesn't matter what you want they'll carry you yeah it doesn't matter uh so he says m Yeah, it doesn't matter what you want. They'll carry you. Yeah, it doesn't matter. So he says, McBain here, this is what he says in court.

Quote, I'm more sorry than words can describe. I take full responsibility for what I did, which doesn't cut it. You're so gross. Also, I'm very gross. Did I mention I'm a gross monster? Because that's really the key here. I take responsibility for being gross yeah do you know how gross i am your honor i'm more i'm sorry than words can describe for my complete grossness it's fucking gross i know i'm gross everyone tells me i'm gross than words can

describe i don't even that's what the phrase should have been yeah i'm more gross i take full responsibility for my utter grossness and what my grossness caused me to do so uh the judge the state officials that do the pre-sentencing recommendation sentencing things they said they recommended a two to eight year sentence for him which is less than the prosecutors asked for that's basically what the uh what the what the defense asked for uh so the judge first all, when he's sentencing him, he goes over the good things that he accomplished in his life and that his community, you know, he was a community member and all this type of shit.

And then he goes on to say that his community, that he did so many nice things for, was now marred by his abuse of an innocent girl from the time she was 12. You, sir, may fuck off four to 15 years in prison. So a minimum of four, max of 15 years in prison. That's not enough. Which is not enough.

Not really great. And he's a registered sex offender and submits to lifetime supervision, obviously. The girl's mother and father, they declined comment outside the courtroom. And from what everybody said, they did not seem happy. Because no matter what, this is not going to be a happy day. No. It's just not. And, you know, there's no...

They're obviously split up. They're not together. No, no, no, no. It's going to cause so much turmoil in their lives. It's going to cause turmoil in everything. For years to come. This is a mess for everybody. And they're not...

I think they wanted more time, obviously. And who the fuck wouldn't? You want maximum if someone is doing that to your kid for four years. Good Christ. And I mean, you can't get any more innocent

as victims than all of this. Her, her family, everybody, the girl, the mother. I feel bad for them. I feel bad for all these people, Jimmy. I really do. But not nearly,

not nearly as bad as I feel for Mike McBain, president at Senior Council, Inc., in the greater Atlanta area. It's management consulting. Mike McBain, a seasonal farm worker at MCM, Inc., in Grand Forks, North Dakota. I'll bet that's the kid I went to high school with. His education is listed as, quote, Dakota Prairie. Not Dakota Prairie Community College, just the prairie. High school? I learned out on the prairie.

Also, Mike McBain, a professor at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, which there's a lot of hockey there, so you don't want to be associated with that. Scary. Speaking of a lot of hockey there so that's you don't want to be associated with that scary speaking of a lot of hockey there how about mike mcbain who is a police officer and also plays junior hockey in anchorage alaska and his name is mike mcbain oh the poor bastard and he's like so if you search mike mcbain hockey he comes up there also uh he's just going please don't think i got out of jail and moved to Alaska and I molested my kid. I'm a cop, for Christ's sake.

I swear I didn't molest anybody. I hate child molesters. Jesus, I beat the shit out of them when I catch them with my nightstick. I tase them extra hard. I get them good. Please. He's begging. I swear.

The one thing I'm hard on, child molesters. I'm super hard on them. What's my middle name? How terrible is it? Can I get away with using that? This is bad. And finally, because it's around kids, Mike McBain, who's the associate director of bands and director of percussion at Lee's Summit High School in Missouri.

That's terrible. He earned his Bachelor of Music Education degree from Northwest Missouri State. He's a master of arts in percussion performance, and he was on the snare line for the Kansas City Chiefs Rumble Drumline during the 2009 season. So you've seen him perform watching Chiefs Bronco games. That's amazing. You've seen him, and he did not molest any children that we know of.

He's never been convicted of molesting anybody. He's a nice kid who fucking teaches kids to drum. Good for you, buddy. Thank you. Fuck, man. Oh, Jesus. nice kid who fucking teaches kids to drum good for you buddy don't thank you fuck man oh jesus now uh mcbain is in the love lock correctional facility in nevada he is he's at a place called love love lock which sounds like you got locked up for your love mister for your love of young girls uh that's where he's housed or he was uh We'll find out if he's still in there. He's prisoner number 1098269

in case you want to drop a line to him. He's such a good guy here. Now September 19th, 2016 guess who's up for parole? Our buddy's up for parole. Remember four to fifteen years. He's been in for over three years

now. He's been in for four with time sir almost four three and a half years uh he is up for parole and uh drum roll denied all right fucking denied and uh from what i've seen he has not had there he has no other parole hearings on the books that i've seen i found this in their parole hearing log of the state of nevada uh which was a dig. That's a gross. Let's just say it was a gross dig. I had to dig pretty hard. It was gross. I would rather mine zinc.

Yeah, I was pretty much doing that. I think I have lupus now. I'm pretty sure this gave me lupus to dig through the rolls of parole hearings. But that's the only one I could find for him. So there's no stories of him being released. And in Vegas, there's a bunch of uh writers around there especially for the las vegas uh review journal there that would most definitely write a story if he got released because they thought he was an asshole after this and they all just

hated his guts he's fucking his stepdaughter it's gross i was gonna say it's disgusting but we all know it's not disgusting it's gross parole. Parole denied. Eat dicks, sir. You may spend more time in the Love Lock Correctional Facility. Can't get enough of Mike McBain? I think we've had plenty of that. I think we've had an ass full of this guy. No pun intended. You can get a Mike McBain hockey card if you're a complete idiot. They have a 2004-2005 Las Vegas Wranglers Mike McBain hockey card.

$3. That is steep. That's steep. Plus $4 shipping. A 2004-2005 Las Vegas Wranglers Mike McBain hockey card. $3. That is steep. That's steep. Plus $4 shipping. So $7 for a minor league hockey card. Only three left. Order soon.

You get it from Center Ice Collectibles. Do we want one of those? I kind of. In a way? In a way. As long as it's not signed and he didn't touch it. I don't want him to touch it. I don't want him to touch it. There was signed stuff that I don't want. That's on eBay. That's why I didn't put that on there. I want him to touch it. There was signed stuff that I don't want.

That's on eBay. That's why I didn't put that on there. I want nothing to be touched. There's a ton of hockey cards. Minor League Hockey makes cards. So there's tons of hockey cards to get on there. Kind of want one. We have Mel Hall stuff.

We do. We have stuff like that. I mean, I've not bought the Buck Zumhoff t-shirt. I will not buy that. But a hockey card, just to say this guy sucks, might-shirt. I will not buy that. But a hockey card just to say this guy sucks might be okay. I'm not sure. Would it be funny to wear a Buck Zumhoff shirt? I don't know.

That's what I tried to decide. I've had it in my cart like three times. And I'm like, but I don't want to wear a child molester's face on my shirt. I don't like this guy. But then it's like, but I made fun of him. I think my credentials on not liking zoom off are pretty well documented for two hours of me calling him an asshole but what's the chances you're out in public wearing that and somebody goes do you know what he did no one yeah that's the thing no one's

gonna know unless we're in minneapolis or something no one's gonna fucking know what he did no one knows who he is so maybe i'll get one and it's just funny for us i'll wear it to a live show hang it here maybe we'll hang we never wear maybe i'll never one. It's just funny for us. I'll wear it to a live show. Maybe we hang it here. Maybe we'll hang it. Maybe we never wear it. Maybe I'll never let it touch my skin. Probably. That'd probably be best for everybody. But I don't know. That is Mike McBain and a piece of shit.

And I've been looking at this story for a long time. And I'm like, well, he only did one thing. But it's so horrific. We kind of had to talk about him and bring it up. That's crazy. It's crazy. His whole career without even being arrested for DUI. He was fine. Nice. Everyone said, what what a good guy he's a model kid he needs to coach to help the young guys he's such a good model and then uh not such a great dad yeah no except for

that disqualifier with children great babysitter oh jesus christ so this is uh this is quite disgusting but uh yeah we had to get mike mcbain out of the way and it a shorter one, which we kind of needed to get in because of all the travel we have this week. We didn't really have time for a three hour episode tonight. And boy, do we have some doozies coming up. I got to tell you guys, too. We have some famous people. We have some people that people will be interested in.

Put it this way. In the next few months, we're going to do Tanya Harding, which is a lot of fun. If you think Nancy Kerrigan, the clubbing is the only thing that happened, you are in for a fucking festival of white trashery like you've never seen before. It is awesome. She's going to be fun. We have the wrestler Scott Hall coming up

who is a fucking lunatic and if you think you know all about him, you probably don't. Although if you're like a big wrestling fan, you watch shoot interviews and shit and you probably know about him, but we'll tell you more and we've only got one more crime in sports for 2018 because we're gonna take a break we are taking a break uh for one week we're taking fucking because uh christmas day is a tuesday so uh we're none of you are gonna listen on you have shit to do with your families don't listen to us talk hang out with your families on

christmas day we're gonna do that and uh christmas eve i have a big giant party at my house and i'm not recording a fucking episode of this i'm just not doing it so sorry fuck off uh enjoy enjoy that so we're taking a week i'm not lying we're taking a week off and then after that we'll be switching networks also uh nothing will change for you except i don't think i don't know if new episodes won't be released on the Podcast One app. If you listen on the Podcast One app, you'll have to switch to something else. We'll be on Midroll. We'll be on Midroll. Go to Spotify.

Do something like that. Or if you've got an iPhone, Apple Podcasts. If you have not an iPhone, Spotify is a good place to go. We're on Stitcher. Yeah, we're on Stitcher, wherever you want to be. Also, thank you for Small Town Murder. Small note here to Discover Pods. Yes.

Discover Pods, we won Best True Crime Podcast. Yeah. Out of all of them. Small Town Murder. There was all the heavyweights were there, all the heavy hitters, all the, you know, really famous ones and, you know, Slow Burn and really, really good shows on that list. And we were really happy. Thank you, guys.

And that feels really cool. And congrats to Swindler being named right after us. Good for you guys. And then putting out a funny tweet about it, too. That was good stuff, dude. Good shit. So that's really awesome. So if you like the show and you want to tell us all about it and you want to tell us what a piece of garbage Mike McBain is, you can do that very easily by going over to Apple Podcasts, iTunes, whatever it is.

The purple icon. Give us five stars. It doesn't matter at all what you say. Tell us you're following instructions, following directions. It does not matter one bit. We're happy with whatever you say. It's not for our egos. It's just for business. That being said, also you want to go over to shutupandgivememurder.com

and get all of your merchandise, your crime and sports gear, your leggings. Ladies, there's damn's damn leggings guys layer up on the leggings they'll look like sweatpants from what we figured out before from jimmy uh so do that on there all sorts of stuff get tickets to live shows this week we're going to be in boston on december 13th december 14th in chicago the 15th in detroit and the 16th in silver Spring, Maryland. Get your tickets now. I don't know if Silver Spring is sold out. All of them are close. It might be.

I'm not sure. The other ones are in huge venues. I don't know where they are on tickets, but I know there's enough where we're going to have a big show. I don't know. I'll walk into a Great Lake if they're sold out. I'll see you guys there. It's going to have a good time there.

So I can't wait to see everybody there with us freezing our asses off and shivering. Also, you can follow us over on social media at crime and sports on Twitter and Facebook at small town murder on Instagram we post both our shit there we just call it that because it's more popular sorry that's not our doing what it just is it just

is if you want to be a big friend to the show in addition to following us on social media very easy to do that by following links on shut up and give me murder.com that take you to patreon.com slash crime and sports or over to paypal where you can use our email address which is crime and sports at gmail.com to make a one-time donation and speaking of these wonderful people who've made donations and helped us out so goddamn much and we love so much why don't you hit me with them like a gross charge jimmy this week's executive producers are jennifer

gross uh katherine polus uh anastasia middleton uh laura blakesley times two she donated twice wow something was going on with her this week i don't remember what but oh you know what never mind i think she's gonna make it to the show she was going back and forth okay about going to a show uh hope to see you there definitely thank you gonna make it to the show. She was going back and forth about going to a show. I hope to see you there, Lauren. Definitely. Thank you. She's going to make it to a show. I don't know if she did or not.

We'll see her. Come see us, damn it. We'll see her. Thank you. Margie Kunze again. Thank you so much. Mary Noe. Matt Kleeman.

Lonnie. No. Lonnie Halt. She donated twice also. Wow. Thank you. Craig Ventura. He's back.

Thanks, Craig. Thanks, Craig. Michelle Hayes. Shannon Russell. And Christopher Dobransky. That's right. Thank you guys so, Shannon Russell, and Christopher Dobransky. That's right. Thank you guys so, so much. Thank you guys.

You guys are awesome. Regina Kudajaroff. Already, right out of the gate. Regina Kudajaroff. There you go. Kudajaroff. All right. That's not bad.

Martina Liwalanga. Oh, she's the best. Thanks, Martina. Ashley Vio, Brendan Ables, Jesse Hartman. Jordan Neverez. Sarah Reichert. Valerie Anderson. Nicholas Sanders. Carissa Wilson.

Temri Iverson. Nicole Renard. Georgiana Whitley. Whitley. Georgiana Whitley. Whitley? Yep. Martina Conkle.

Heath Blowich. No. Deloach. That's it. Ah, Deloach. It's not a B. Itich. No, Deloach. That's it. Ah, Deloach. It's not a B, it's a D. Deloach. Cindy Oaks, Heather Cotton, Stephen Rood, Cody Neuenfeld, Kat Powell, and Lauren Demerath. Thank you, ladies.

Thank you, guys. Pytila's OK Welding. It's just OK. It's not great, but it's fine. They're decent. They're getting through it. You need something to stay on, it'll stay. They're learning. not great, but it's fine. They're decent. They're getting through it. You need something to stay on, it'll stay. They're learning.

Nothing fancy, but it'll stay. Andrea Samples, Justin Miller, Tyler Atkinson, Shalima Altos, Kelly Latta, Blaze Patterson. He donated twice. Thank you, Blaze. That's a cowboy name. Thank you. That's a damn good name. Yeah.

Taylor, Taylor Catawalt, Cat Walliter. Cat Walliter. Gary Howard. Melissa Schmaltz. 30 Roses. I don't know what that is. Google it. Catherine Beal. Tonya Howard.

No. Tonya Hayden. Under the Sea Fabrics. Jordan Bennett. The Lino Leaks. Lino Lakes. Is it Lino? Is it Lino?

What is it? It's definitely Lino. It's Lino Lakes. It's absolutely. There's one thing in the world sorry matt dietrich i didn't mean to step on your name kyle juarez uh lillian lillian frank uh jen stevens bryant tool rosanna wagner cody beretta uh janae compton uh shit i wrote these really small uh charene Rambler.

John Starks. I don't think it's the same John Starks. Fuck yeah. I want it to be the same John Starks. So do I. I love John Starks. Renee Cahill. Effort given son of a bitch right there. Preston Letterman.

Shauna with no last name. Gina Jones. Rachel Stonecipher. Brianna Seeley. Haley McGivern. Brandon Piper. Michelle Williams Gilbert. I don't know why I stuttered on the easiest three names ever.

Andrew Dugan, Captain Surly, Jessica Seidel, Lauren Odom, Taryn McNee, Janice Hill, Joey Leschnak, Nicole Vaughn, Nikhil, Neil Threats. Nikhil for Neil, really? Yeah, no, that's... I don't know what I'm doing. Tara Bendick. No, I don't know what I'm doing. Don Hanson, Jaina Dickens, Jaina Wellhouse.

How do we have two Jainas? That was impressive. Thank you, Jaina Society. Donating right next to each other. Joshua Conley, Tristan Stevenson, Simon Oxley, Melissa Sewell, Stephen McTeague, Annette Wright, Leanne Edwards, Brendan Healy, Jared Dobbs, Johanna Rosas, and then Johanna Rosas, Johanna Rosas, anyway. And then, this is my favorite. Johanna, is it?

Yeah, it is Johanna Rosas. Yeah, I knew a girl named Johanna once. And then Javon Senga, who is Manja's son. He donates with his dad, and he pulled two pounds son. Hey, he donates in his mind with his with his dad. And he that's amazing. Two pounds out of his own money and gave to his dad and told him, give this to those nice incredible. Thank you, Sanja or Sanga family.

I don't thank you, Manja. He told me that we pronounce it wrong every time. We always say Sanja. Yeah. So we're probably wrong. His family's fucking amazing. You guys rock. We really thank you so much.

You guys, you're fantastic. Thank you so much, you guys. You're fantastic. Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody. We really appreciate it. We can't do any of this without your help. And we really appreciate it. Like, our computer went down recently here, and we missed a week of small-town murder.

We had to do two this last week to make up for it because our computer died. to do two this last week to make up for it because our computer died and we were able to quickly replace this computer with a much better computer that will not die because you guys donate money to us so thank you heroes truly thank you guys so much for that every cent counts and we appreciate the shit out of everything you do and what if people appreciate the shit out of everything you do jimmy how can they tell you all about it you can find me at wisman sucks w, W-H-I-S-M-A-N sucks on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. And you guys sending me everything that you send me. It's a treat. It's a blessing.

It's wonderful. It's not gross. It's not gross. I really appreciate the funny things you guys send me and the accidental sexting that's been sent to me. Oh, that was funny, yeah. That was meant for somebody else. At least you got an explanation. Oh, sorry.

Hysterical. Thank you guys so much for everything. I really appreciate it. Where can they accidentally sex you? Oh, you can stumble onto me. At Jimmy P is funny. Or just copy and paste my last name from the show description because you're not going to spell it right.

Why would you? It's very difficult. There's no reason for you to spell it that way. But we will see you uh next week obviously we'll be back and that is one more week of uh 2018 shows we're off on christmas and then we come back for the new year strong and we're going to come back with a heavy hitter we're going to come back with somebody quite famous in the new year good somebody you've heard of and uh it'll be a good time we're gonna do all of that guys we're having a we're having a blast this is great live from the crime and sports studios we will see you next week bye

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