Crime in Sports - #142 - A Tornado Of Lightning In A Bottle - The Chivalrousness of Ambiorix Burgos

Episode Date: December 18, 2018

This week, we peek around a blind corner, only to be engulfed by anger, violence, and just plain crazy! A man from humble beginnings that made it to the big time, but let his considerable demons get in the way. A fast, but escalating trail of violence, death, and one of the craziest kidnapping plots that we've ever heard. Not to mention, we find out about the only drink worse than a rat poison cocktail!!Make the majors, instead of the coconut fields, never admit to driving when somebody dies, and come up with your own special drink to give to your kidnapped ex-wife with Ambiorix Burgos!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.comGo to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!Contact us on...twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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It's an all-new season. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports. Yay! Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. Yay, indeed, Jimmy. Yay, indeed. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I am Jimmy Wissman. Oh, my goodness.

Are we excited to be here tonight because we're back at home. We are recording this full disclosure. We try to release it about midnight Pacific time on Monday night, so it's Tuesday morning. Right now, we are beginning recording at 10.29 p.m. on Monday night. So it's Tuesday morning. Right now, we are beginning recording at 10.29 p.m. on Monday night. So it's going to be late

because Jimmy's flight was delayed out of Washington, D.C. My thruster was broken. He had a broken thruster. So this is the best we can do here. As you can tell, our voices are rough. Mine is awful. We have done, basically,

we did four live shows in the last four days and four very far apart cities and then talk to hundreds of people afterwards. So we're just shot and ruined. It's great, though, because those are a lot of the best episodes of crime and sports are when we're at our punchiest. And tonight's story. And holy shit. Now, this story tonight, guys, it's not it won't be the lengthiest story it's not there's no i don't have a 20 year you know pattern of something this is they say lightning in a bottle yeah but i i prefer a more of a tornado analogy this is like a tornado of lightning

no no dust no cows just lightning in a circle funnel a funnel of lightning in a bottle that's what this is it's a uh we play asshole or idiot always is he an asshole or is he an idiot one thousand percent asshole so just hate this guy the whole time and enjoy it's going to be a really really good time uh have to thank everybody for their reviews as always uh they mean the world to us apple apple podcast itune whatever it is or whatever platform you listen to they all have reviews throw a review down for us it helps a lot it does always helps move us up the charts and that sort of thing so uh if you like the show that's a very very easy way to support the show

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So they're coming. They're coming. People are jacked about it. Yeah. Sarah's working on it. I've got a lot of emails because you said this and they aren't there yet well yeah they take a while so i thought they were up for it that's my bad so uh yeah they'll be up very soon and uh ringtones are going to be coming this week too so uh all sorts of fun stuff there to check out also uh two couple more live

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at the end of the show uh we'll talk about them on thursday on thursday show yeah because today it didn't happen jimmy couldn't do the show ruined it yeah them on thursday on thursday show yeah because today it didn't happen jimmy couldn't do the show ruined it yeah we apologize for that so uh that's a yeah you got to bear with us today we're doing our best and uh this one like i said this isn't going to be a three-hour episode but it's it's going to be dynamite so right so being on it it's going to be great but if you want to be one of those people that we'll talk about on Thursday, you can do that very easily by going to patreon.com slash crime in sports to be a Patreon donor or over to PayPal using our email address crime in sports at gmail.com to make a one time donation. And damn it, every sense appreciated more than you guys know.

So you guys did so much for us. Thank you. Thank you for everything you guys do for us. And yeah, this is going to be a fun one. And also one more show note. This is the last show of 2018 for Crime and Sports. Next week, next Tuesday is Christmas Day. So we are going to actually, we're going to have a big Christmas Eve thing.

And we're going to have a nice time and eat and not record an episode. And we're going to relax. And then, because we're coming hard in the new year. Oh, it's going to be a lot. It's going to be a lot. We will have 52 crime and sports next year we are obligated contractually we're switching networks over to mid-roll right uh shouldn't affect the way you listen to it unless you listen to the podcast one app right uh they won't be uploaded there you'll have to find somewhere else but i think that's not too many of you do that and if

there's another it's easy there will be plenty go on stitcher or something there's a middle yeah spotify stitcher there's a ton of things you can find. There will be plenty. Go on Stitcher or something. There's a middle. Yeah, Spotify, Stitcher. There's a ton of things you can do there. So not a big deal there. But yeah, it'll come back the first Tuesday of the new year. Hard, too. It's going to be Tanya Harding. So yeah, that's going to be.

Trust me, guys. The white trashery there is thick and deep. And we're going to we're going to really get into it. So how the cabs decorate the living room. Well, she there actually is a crime involving a hubcap with her it's incredible domestic violence involving a hubcap is all i'll tell you as a preview so if you think that it's just gonna be nancy kerrigan getting whacked in the knee you're you have no fucking idea it's it's so deep. So let's get into this, though. We have tonight.

This guy's an asshole. And he's one of these guys that he felt he falls right under the radar. Like it's like I said, a tornado of lightning in a bottle and then it fucking disappears and it's gone. And now you haven't heard of him in years. His name is now that let's I'll spell it for you here. I can pronounce it, but I'll spell it. A-M-B-I-O-R-I-X is his first name.

Ambro. No. It's Ambiorix, actually. Ambiorix. That's his full name? Ambiorix Burgos is his name. So he's not like... Burgos.

Burgos. He's not an NBA player. No. Ambiorix Burgos is a baseball player. Oh! Yeah, he's a pitcher. He's a pitcher. He's a big son of a bitch. A big hard-throwing bastard from about 10 years ago.

Wow, did he have a hard fall. It's intense, man. We'll talk about him. I'm going to call him Burgos the whole time because I'm not going to say Ambiorix constantly. This is fantastic. My voice won't let up. I love that we're covering baseball. Oh, it's fun.

I sat next to Derek Hall coming up. Oh, yeah, yeah, the Diamondbacks. The voice won't let up. I love that we're covering baseball. Oh, it's fun. I sat next to Derek Hall coming up. Oh, yeah, yeah, the Diamondbacks. The CEO of the Diamondbacks. By the way, if you're just even a mediocre baseball fan, Diamondbacks are a professional baseball team. Believe it or not. Believe it or not. Surprising, right? Really?

Yeah. Seriously. Remember Randy Johnson? That's that team that he used to play. That's how you know them. Yeah, them. that he used to play. That's how you know them.

Yeah, them. The most feminine World Series celebration ever came from this team. Watching that Gonzalez jump with his heels up at his butthole. It was the creepiest. He looked like a girl

in a baseball uniform. No, we're not saying that. He looked like a small child girl. That's what he looked like. That was very happy to be. A legit girl. Yeah, he looked like S small child girl. That's what he looked like. That was very happy. A legit girl. Yeah, he looked like Sully from Monsters, Inc. They just met and they're skipping through a fucking field or something.

I met Sully. Yay! So I told him that we do this show and he was like, he goes, so you talk about criminal athletes. And I was like, yeah. He goes, oh, good. Oh, good. Oh, yeah.

Oh, great. Those guys are idiots. You have no idea. Shut up, dude. You would be a, you're what we consider a good. Oh, yeah. Oh, great. Those guys are idiots. You have no idea. Shut up, dude. You would be a, you're what we consider a silver-haired middle-aged white man. So I wouldn't talk to that. So Jesus Christ, man. Right.

So this guy here, he's born April 19th, 1984. So he's a young guy. That's the thing about it, too. Like, he's a guy who, you know, could still be playing. And he's definitely not still playing. could still be playing right and uh he's definitely not still playing oh no no not at all it's already all over oh it's the whole thing done it's a tornado of lightning in a bottle and it's fucking gone man uh birthplace he's born in uh i don't know how to say this because it's in the dominican republic nagoya nagua okay in the

dominican republic it's on the north shore of the island kind of pointing eastward there's like a bay that goes in it's kind of in there um it's a it's kind of a not a big town not a big city uh it's agricultural agricultural area where a lot of these guys come from is there's not a lot of opportunity for them and uh shit if they can play baseball it's a much better opportunity than the uh rice fields or the coconut fields or the cocoa bean fields because that's what they have there i'm not sure all those things grow in fields but wherever the fuck they grow it's better than that it's better than picking coconuts and cocoa beans i imagine we're doing botched uh plastic surgery jobs a lot of americans like bottom

rung americans yeah i do go to the dr go get like a hack shop uh yeah which that's terrible that's terrifying yeah put that airfare toward a better doctor yeah and i know i know somebody that did it and she was a mess for like three months yeah it's not good it's not good what an idiot no it's just a member of my family had some weird shit like that really we're all fucked up from it so yes it's i won't Just go to reputable shit. Yeah, it's expensive. Reputable? Dude, when's the last time we slept? Neither of us.

Full disclosure. Literally, it's been like, A, I slept an hour in the hotel, an hour on the plane, and then I took a nap in the green room, and that's all of our sleep for like days on end, and then we're flying and talking. Between the two of us in the last 48 hours, it's probably still single-digit amounts of hours. Oh, definitely. It's fucking horrible. So, absolutely horrible.

But that's what makes this fun. Yeah. He went to high school at San Jose de Villa High School. It's there. I looked it up. No other major leaguers come from this high school. No, and the Dominican Republic is thick with major leaguers. Like, you know, a good percentage of major leaguers come from the Dominican.

Not a big place. No, no, no. It's half a fucking island. That's all it is. Half an island. And no other ones come from here. So he's kind of from the middle of nowhere, basically. Grows up to be a big dude, man.

He's 6'3", 235. Wow. And throws hard. Wouldn't that be nice? I'm 6'4", but I'm not 235 of muscle like this guy was. That's the problem. I've got to put some weight on there. I need another 40 pounds to match this guy's fucking girth here.

Now, November 14, 2000, he is signed by the Kansas City Royals as an amateur free agent. This is in the international free agency. This isn't like the international free agency. This is no draft or anything like that. This is what, well, do the math. He's born in 84, and this is 2000. So he's fucking 16 years old.

What? That's how they did that. Remember my NCAA, if you haven't listened to the Maurice Claret episode when I bitch about the NCAA, and they say, oh, nope, sorry, you gotta play three years for us before you can possibly do anything.

Well, then in baseball, you can sign a kid when he's 16 and he can get paid. 16 is when you can sign a kid in baseball. That's the low ball. Well, I guess that's because of the child labor laws. Otherwise, they'd go lower. They would go lower. Well, that's the thing. They would sign Dominican kids.

They'd sign them when they were 11. And it's like futures. Who cares? They'll give them $20,000. That's a big deal there you know big deal there yeah it changes everything you'll get yeah you'll get the kid signed and okay if he doesn't turn out to be a player whatever with 20 grand no major league club does nothing that's what the dodgers got in trouble for that that's this they kind of made more rules in international shit because the dodgers would sign kids when they were fucking in

the womb and uh you know they'd sign toddlers and be like i saw him throw that bottle he hooked that pacifier his little sister looked pretty strong five grand can we buy your son for five grand and they basically buy them and they try to develop it and when it doesn't work yeah well it was basically shifty agents because they every they're basically like coyotes of agents coyotes are people that you know smuggle people in for a for a fee and shit like that. Basically, these agents take these kids and they say, hey, well, you know,

I have connections to the Dodgers. Do you want to play in the majors or do you want to work in the fucking pineapple field or the cocoa bean field? They go, I want to play for the Dodgers. And they go, okay, well, great. Then, you know, here's your signing bonus. This is 60 grand.

You get 20 of it and I get 40 of it. Have a fucking good one. They were doing that? Oh, yeah, that's one they were doing that oh yeah they were that's what they were doing taking huge cuts to these kids and these to these kids what are they gonna do say no right okay okay don't get 20 go work in the field i'll take the kid next to you that's fine and that's what they would do and so say yes that was it was a big scam for years and years and years and that was so they started kind of trying to crack down on this in the last

probably 15 20 years but this this was probably around the time when it was still kind of shady, I would say, yeah. So 16, but who knows when he was getting kind of hooked in before that. So he signs with the Kansas City Royals here as an amateur free agent. Not a lot of stats in his – I guess he played down there and finished up in high school. International rules are different. You can draft a kid and then not play him and retain the rights to him if he signs still.

But there's so many different loopholes. And they've changed so much over the years that I don't remember the window of 2000 of exactly what the international signee amateur fucking baseball rules are. That's fascinating that they could do that. But I mean, I guess, yeah, it all just depends on what situation they're in in their lives that they're forced to take that kind of cash. I'm pretty sure now everybody has, there's draft things now and it's a little more organized with that. But yeah, it's very strange. It's very strange.

2003, he finally comes up to rookie league ball in Arizona, playing for the low rookie royals here in the Arizona League when he's 19 years old. He goes 3-2 with a 4 ERA. Not too shabby there. Not bad at all. He's a little wild. This is in 36 innings for them. He has eight wild pitches, which is way too many. That's a little wild uh he has this is this is in 36 innings for them he has eight wild pitches wow which is way too many that's a lot you cannot have a wild pitch every four innings no maybe like that's crazy and that's his problem his whole career is uh wild pitches control is that is weak

he he has spots where it's good but he throws so fucking hard he's a guy who throws you know high 90s consistently consistently as we'll talk about in his first year in the majors, he leads the league in velocity that year. Really? Average fastball velocity. He's blasting it. He is blasting it because he comes in as a reliever, and that's his job is you come in and smoke heat on them.

You should all be tired by the time you're in. Well, yeah, you see a guy like that in the eighth inning, and he comes out blasting. It's kind of the prototypical closer, the time you're in. Well, yeah, you see a guy like that in the eighth inning, and he comes out blasting. It's a poof. That's kind of the prototypical closer, the guy that comes in like that. So he does that down an A ball. Not bad. 36 innings.

He gives up 16 earned runs there. So it's not terrific, not terrible, but only one more hit than innings pitched. So that's not bad. He has 43 strikeouts, so he has more than one strikeout per innings pitched, which is, you know. That's his job. You're looking at that. You want that. 16 walks, which isn't terrible for a kid like that,

but eight wild pitches and three hit batsmen. Oh, and he hit three. Yeah, and he hit three people, too. So, yeah, he's wild. But that's almost effectively wild, too. That's one thing, like especially like in rookie ball and shit. Guys are scared of you. If they know you throw a hundred and they're you're you're not sure where it might end up.

They're gun shy. And that works in your favor a lot of times because they are a little. Oh, shit. Yeah. Is that thing going to come at my head or is it down the middle? And it walks in on you and you step back from it, it'll still end up being a strike. Yeah, it's just that first thing where your hitter,

you want to lean into it. If your first step is hesitant, you're not going to hit a 100-mile-an-hour pitch, period. So it ends up being an advantage after a while if you can not be too wild, obviously. You can master them getting in the head that's yeah that's a head game of a trick it's all and that's manage it it's all head games with the batter and the pitcher it's all head guy i remember talking to rod about that rod beck and he would you know we'd go into

detail and he would talk about like you know he liked to start a guy off a lot of times with just dropping a fucking easy curveball over the middle because they're just not expecting it right from a reliever if when a closer comes in they're expecting heat so they're all braced for heat he goes a lot of times i'll just i'll throw a fucking 75 mile an hour curveball it's just a garbage curveball they're just so surprised by it they're not they're so off balance they're not going to swing at it you know that's that's strike one i got you you know there we go i'm up 101 now and it's and then they're all fucked up now because they were thinking fastball and go off of that. So now they don't know.

Shit, that was my pitch. Yeah, so now they're going, okay, well now is it going to be the fastball now or is he going to dick around with it? Now is he dicking with me? So it's just a little mental game. Next time you see him, it's a fastball. So they go, shit, now what is he doing? Pitchers are fascinating people. Yeah, you have to.

You're sitting out there thinking, especially a relief pitcher. You're sitting out there thinking, especially a relief pitcher, the mental strength you have to have to be a relief pitcher is in sports. I think it's the hardest thing to maintain is to be a closer. You're on such a tightrope. Look at closers in the majors. And if you're not a big baseball fan or whatever, you can look up like save leaders and shit like that. They don't look at them from year to year. You'll see a guy in the top of the saves for three years and then he's gone you can't it guys they just snap sure they don't have what it's one mental fuck up and you're you can fall apart also you're

bringing brought in in situations that are have none of your control no and it's horrible horrible stress and horrible and and the thing is you got to be able to come in and and if you fuck up you have to be able the next day to go i didn't fuck up i'm the man you can't hit me whereas you know that's that's not normal for a human being to do and to be able to maintain that mindset over more than a couple years is damn near impossible that's why guys like hoffman trevor hoffman mariana rivera like they're like robot people they have no emotions it's insane because if they would no one can do that you know like eric gagne had like 83 saves in a in a straight or whatever but then where the fuck was he after that well he wasn't using the same guy well that's the other thing too steroids the whole time but everybody was using steroids though so what's the difference you know but it's it's a really weird

mental thing here and this guy you know he's i can't imagine every day you and sometimes you don't play that day and then you come back and and you come in and you're up four runs the next game they bring you in and you're down two yeah the next game you're up by six yeah and and if you blow a six six run lead how are you going to come back in when you're down two that's the thing and you have to rod had the perfect personality for it two? That's the thing. And you have to. Rod had the perfect personality for it. He was just this. He's a gunslinger. If he lived 130 years ago, he would have just been a total gunslinger.

He could just bring everything down to a calm level and just not give a fuck. I remember talking to him about a playoff game where he was pitching for the Red Sox against the Yankees in Yankee Stadium. That's a stressful situation. 60,000 people are hating your guts. Biggest rivalry in baseball. Biggest rivalry. It's very intense. It's in the playoffs.

It's deep in a game. It was like eighth inning. And they brought him in with the bases loaded to face Bernie Williams. And he said, goddamn Bernie Williams. He said, I had two strikes on him. And then he felled off about 11 pitches off me. He goes, I gave him every pitch that was my pitch every goddamn time. Goddamn Bernie Williams. He said I had two strikes on him, and then he felled off about 11 pitches off me. He goes, I gave him every pitch.

You're wearing him out. That was my pitch every goddamn time, and he'd fucking get a piece of it. And that son of a bitch, and he ended up hitting a grand slam off him in the center field. And I go, Jesus Christ, how did that feel? And he goes, it sucked. He goes, but by the time you get off the grass, it didn't happen anymore. That didn't happen. Afterwards, when the reporters ask you about it, you got to go hit the shit out of that thing didn't he boy well strike his ass out tomorrow that's all you can do oh he got he got 15 pitches from me how am i supposed to pitch him one at all yeah that he doesn't get can't think

as a starter you have four days to figure it out again and get your head out of your ass as a reliever you might be thrown back in tomorrow that's the, too, is you never know when you're coming in. So you don't know if you need to be ready that day or not. You have to be ready all the time. So that's a very crazy mindset to have. And a few games straight of that happening, you're done. Rod pitched in 11 straight games at one point. Jesus Christ.

He had the record for Dusty Baker put him in 11 straight games. Dusty Baker ruins relief pitchers' arms. Rod said he would come to you and be like, if I need you, can you go? And he goes, you're not going to tell him no. He's this huge guy who's a great player and he's in charge. It's a pride thing. You don't want to say no, whatever. I don't know, coach.

My arm's a bit tired. You just say, I'm here if you need me, and then he'll just keep putting you out there. And it's your fault for not saying it you know so well i asked i asked him and he said it was fine what the fuck you want from me so i don't know that's some inside president asking the military if they're ready you guys ready can you go again today can we wait for tomorrow maybe get a day off today coach that's not for a guy like rod that's not in his vocabulary to go to go no i can't he would just go shit yeah if his arm was hanging off he'd i'll go out there sure don't get another one that's how he that's how he was so that's that's why he blew out a shoulder like a girl lefty yeah

well that's why his elbow and shoulder needed to be completely reconstructed in 2001 because unbelievable he never gave a shit he just was a just was that kind of guy, that kind of player. But this guy's a little different here, Burgos. He goes to A-Ball after that, that year in 2003. They bring him up to the Burlington Bees. Yeah. Oh, boy. You're going from the Dominican to the Burlington, Iowa, the Midwest League, Burlington, Iowa. Oh, my God.

That is a change of culture. At least going to Arizona, it's still hot. It is a change of culture at least going to arizona right it's still hot it's uh a lot of spanish too i mean everybody here speaks spanish there's a lot of so you could kind of i know it's not the same dominican mexican but it's still it would be more comfortable than iowa is all i'm getting at than just everybody being white and hefty it's no offense iowa but a little chunky. A little offense, Iowa. Yeah, sorry. You're kind of known for it.

I mean, I don't know if you know your outside reputation, but... You're a corn-fed fuck. Yeah, you're known as being a bit chunky. That's all we're going to say. So, anyway, in Burlington here, he doesn't pitch very much. I think they just bring him up. They try to just put guys in situations. Like, the rookie ball is just get him away from his mom.

It's all they're trying to do. They don't give a shit how you play. They don't just get him away from his mother and make sure he doesn't have a mental breakdown and fucking cry to go home. Just see if he can be on the road for 80 games. That's all you're doing there. And then after that, they kind of do that again.

Now they'll bring him up to Iowa. Let's give him a change of pace. Let's give him a complete change of environment. Let's see what the fuck happens to him here. But he's only it's only he's on two games and he's a starter then too uh back then he's a starter uh even in in a ball in in rookie ball he started seven games here he starts both games that he's there uh uh down there it's only five innings pitched though which is strange uh gives up three hits and three earned runs there which is not terrific uh one wild pitch of course and five five innings or five five innings five innings he had

a wild pitch which he's averaging one every four so that makes sense if you think about it he had a 540 era so i mean not that impressive but they just brought him up to just get him in a different place so not a not a big deal uh 2004 in burlington now they want to see something out of him this year he has a 438 era but he pitches a lot he starts 26 games so that's a that's a lot it's like a major league load of of uh starts almost about 30 would be a full season but he gives up 109 hits only in 133 innings pitched okay that's a big hits and innings pitched is a big stat to look at and if he has less hits than innings pitched that's pretty good so that you look at that as a plus and especially too with his uh strikeouts he

has 172 strikeouts in 133 innings so those are excessively positive numbers there you look at that and that sounds great he does have 75, which is a little more than you want, but it's still a 2-to-1 strikeout-to-walk ratio, which you'd like it to be better, but he's 19, 20 years old. So he's 20, he'll let that shit slide. Only problem is 13 wild pitches, which is way more than you should have. And also 13 hit-hit batsman, which I think that counts as a wild pitch.

I hope that's part of him. But he had 19 wild pitches and 13 hit? 13 and 13. Oh, so every wild pitch hit somebody. I guess so. Jesus Christ. Either that or he has 13 wild pitches and 13 hit. I'm not sure. That'd be 26.

That's a lot. That'd be a shitload. So that'd be probably too many, but I'm not sure. So he's 26. That's a lot. That'd be a shitload. So that'd be probably too many. But I'm not sure. So he's a real kind of Ricky Vaughn situation, to use a major league analogy. Thinking he'd get him some glasses with a skull and crossbones? He does need to get him some real thick, yeah, some black, thick, gold, thick frame glasses. Some black Ray-Bans.

That's it, man. That's fucking hilarious. Speaking of that, by the way, because we're just talking about rod a second ago rod had uh charlie sheen's wild thing uh the leather vest that he came in from the bullpen in major league he owned it charlie sheen gave that to rod uh rod was warming up in a bullpen when he played for san francisco down in la and charlie sheen came down and was like hey hey dude you're fucking he goes dude i love you and, he was talking about basically like he thought he was a lot like the characters, he thought that was cool. Sheen said that to Rod.

Sheen said that, and he said, I want to give you one of the vests, because he had like three of them, because it was backups, and Rod's like, yeah, sure, whatever, and then the next day he came back with a fucking dry cleaning bag and had it dropped off to him, or his assistant came back and gave him one. Wow. So I've put it on. I've worn the wild thing leather vest. It's so james you might have aids maybe that's true it's so tiny dude it's hilarious it would fit my daughter like charlie sheen's a very small man

yeah he's getting smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller so uh he's withering he's just withering away it's gotta be tough oh jesus christ uh so he also he ends up with the double a wichita wranglers again wichita yeah that's where you want to be yeah from iowa to wichita that's not positive that's a that's a lateral move i think yeah that's not getting darker i don't think it's about the same, probably. It's not getting more cultural. Hey, there's less corn here. I think that's basically all he said. Otherwise, same shit.

Same thing. This is of the Texas League. Here he pitches in 12 games, 12.2 innings pitched. He's coming in as a reliever now. 4.97 ERA with two wild pitches in 12 innings. That's not awful. It's not great. He's dilating. Yeah, he shouldn't have that many still but that's somebody out of some contacts they're looking and they're just looking at his pure like when he's on and when his control is good he's a guy

who throws a goddamn 99 miles an hour and he's awesome he's dangerous i mean that's a guy you want in your bullpen especially 2005 kansas city not a lot of talent in that era that later on they've gotten good in the you know 2000 was 11 12 they were good yeah uh then they were still that team a little bit earlier because they won the world series in 12 it was 12 i think 11 or 12 but like 2005 and for the last you know 20 years before. Oh, it's a fucking joke. They were the team that would draft good players and develop them, and then when their first contract was up,

they were gone, and they brought somebody else in. Making great money and winning. And winning, yeah. See, a number, God, too many guys to name. I mean, it's fucking ridiculous. Except George Brett. Except George Brett.

They kept George Brett. That's it. Somehow they kept him. Because he was, God, I guess they needed a, they were. He looked like Kansas City. He looked like. But in the 70s and 80s, though, they weren't like that.

In the 70s and 80s, they kept teams together because free agency was a little less. But late 70s, they were really good. That was a tough squad. In the mid 80s, they were really good going to the World Series against St. Louis and shit. They were tough, man. I wish they wouldn't have got rid of that baby blue uniform. Oh, man.

Every team should have a fucking baby blue uniform. Except the Yankees. The Yankees, gray and pinstripe, and that's it. Everybody else, that goddamn baby blue uniform was hot shit, dude. Like the Burt Blylevin jersey I wore to Minnesota, our live show. Goddamn, it was that thing. It's so smooth. The Phillies one looks amazing.

The Phillies one. The Cardinals. The Expos ones were great. There's so many that are so good. Anything that's baby blue, hang on to it, you fucking jerks. It was goddamn good, and they just got rid of it all. Major League debut. He's called up after the 12.2 innings in 2005.

He's called up on April 23rd for his Major League debut with the Royals against the Chicago White Sox. So he pitches one inning, gives up one hit, one strikeout, no walks, no earned runs. No wild pitches? No wild pitches. Great. Unscathed. Good. You put a kid in there, that's all you got.

One inning, gives up a hit, that's fine. Got a strikeout, didn't blow it, didn't walk anybody. Nobody scored. Perfect. That's all you want. Get him out there, make sure he doesn't... Scoreboard still shows zero. Or whatever the score was when he was put in.

Well, you throw him in there, you just want to make sure he's not going to throw up and slip and fall down on the mound he's going to actually you know be able to throw pitches toward the plate and uh that sort of thing so he lives in his vans are still white on yeah everything exactly there's no shit in his pants whatsoever he has a little injury problem on june 20th 2005 he goes on the 15 day dl for a shoulder strain and ends up missing 19 games over 24 days so uh it's a it's a decent shoulder strain and a hard thrower like that too you want to make sure he's right before you throw him back out there fucking throwing 100 miles an hour uh it's kind of a those guys are kind of fine-tuned race cars yeah uh those 100 mile an hour guys they really got to be right to throw.

Otherwise, they're going to be injured. 2005 season, he's 21 years old and in the major leagues. God damn, right? What a life. Living the fucking dream right there. That's awesome. Ends up 3-5 that year, which is not terrible. 63 innings.

In 63 innings, he only gave up 60 hits, which is not too shabby. Had a 3.98 ERA. ERA under four. 65 strikeouts. More strikeouts than innings pitched. Not too bad at all. Eight wild pitches. Yes.

A little much. Not going to lie. It's a few too many. A few too many. You can probably deal with three. Eight is a bit. Eight's high. That's enough to hurt many. You'll probably deal with three. Eight is a bit. Eight's high. That's enough to hurt somebody.

Five hit by a batsman. Oh, God. But also, again, kind of works to his advantage. These guys are coming up, and in the majors, guys have control. And if you're up there, and you're like, Jesus Christ, this fucking guy. Why are they putting this guy out there? This guy's a fucking, he's dangerous, man. You're not used to that so that might throw so you know the other part though is doing that and being wild is also endangering your team because when they get hit oh yeah that shit

personal yeah and that picture coming out is about to doink one of yours a lot of times though if it's a if it's a rookie kid like this that's obviously wild it's not going to be taken as like uh you could ruin a dude yeah yeah I mean, if it's a bad thing, but it's all about intent in baseball. Baseball, everything's about intent. If a pitcher hits a guy and it's an accident and the pitcher does his little my bad fucking with the glove flip and the batter says,

he's not going to be mad at him. It's a fucking accident. You're not perfect either. You didn't hit every ball you swung at, so you can't expect him to hit the target every time either so but when a pitcher clearly you know throws it doesn't do shit doesn't even look at the guy and just ask for another ball right then it's like a motherfucker you did that shit on purpose then it's payback time but if a guy does the you know my bad you'll see a guy go dude my bad sorry like that happens all the time i've also seen them do that and then

a fight breaks out oh that'll happen i don't care if you meant it or not most of the time that's not the way it works and the time the guys get to the majors they've got that shit out of their system ruin a rookie so easily absolutely just by doinking his players if you don't if you if you don't mean it and you're and you keep fucking up and then it's in your head now oh yeah then you get your rick and keel next that's what happens right if you don't know rick and keel story he had the steve sacks chuck knoblock disease but in of the pitcher variety he had the yips he started throwing wild pitches and it got in his fucking head and he'd be he'd be dominating dominate and then all of a sudden he'd throw three wild pitches in a row and it's like he couldn't hit the plate and and they weren't like a little wild they'd be eight feet over the catcher's head at 98 miles an hour and then he became an outfielder

so he couldn't get that out of his head that's i mean mental and then baseball is it's the biggest sport with mental because basketball is like so fast yeah you know you can't you can't it's unless you're on the free throw line or whatever it's it's kind of all reactionary football's a lot the same way too it's it's so moving all reactionary football's a lot the same way too it's it's so moving and baseball you're standing there thinking about it and fucking your head up where am i throwing this ball if it comes to me that's why a lot of times dumb guys are good for baseball if they don't and they even say that some guys a lot of times they don't want people that are too smart for bit they don't want baseball players are too smart a lot of times that the catcher from

from major league yeah they want a catcher that's smart, but they want other guys that are kind of, you want a guy who's just kind of. Just does what he. Does what he, yeah, sometimes. He throws the ball one place because that's where he knows it has to be right now. Nowadays with analytics the way it is,

they kind of, they look a little bit more for a smarter guy. But back in the day, like if you saw a pitcher reading, it was like, they'd look at him like. He can do that? Jesus Christ. Seriously, the Jim Bouton bookon book ball four is great about the 1969 season and uh he talks about it's just a total other era this is pre-free agency and he talks about literally uh mike maddox who uh was a good pitcher being uh he won the cy young in the late 70s he or not mike maddox mike marshall jesus christ he won the cy young in the late 70s uh but not Mike Maddox. Mike Marshall. Jesus Christ. He won the Cy Young in the late 70s.

But he was on the team and they thought of him as like, they thought of him as like just a complete flake because he read and like, you know, had books and stuff

and they were like, this fucking guy. Yeah, they were like, this fucking idiot. Like, what a weirdo. He's reading books. It's a very strange society. You deal with those?

Very weird society here. So this so this year though not bad as a rookie also he has the highest average fastball among american league relievers wow uh average fastball it's 96.5 is his average fastball average that's fucking impressive yeah that's really 91 he's throwing 101 that's really fast. That's very, very impressive. So other than the shoulder strain, though, looks like a really good, because he came back strong. So looks like a good rookie season, not doing too shabby at all. 2006, he stays up with the club, makes the club out of spring training.

So he's on the roster, man. I mean, he's doing it. A little bit rougher of a year this year, though. He goes 4-5 uh this year 73.1 innings pitch so a few more this time though 83 hits so more hits than innings pitched only 72 strikeouts so kind of right at the border there 37 walks which is you know right about half which is you know still two to one you want him to start getting a little bit better than that 11 wild pitches so

that's too many he's not controlling it at all he's not having a lot of control six hit by pitches too which is that's a tough one there uh 552 era overall so it's it's rough uh it's a little bit rough in 68 games they actually have him start one game i think they wanted to see they're like maybe it's different if he starts. We'll try it at the other end of the ballgame. Yeah, maybe if he has a longer mindset, because it's a different mindset for relief and whatever, maybe he can do it.

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He makes $339,500 that year. That's great. So good for you man. Not fucking bad at all It's much better than the coconut plantation I don't think Dole pays that. No I doubt it I highly doubt it. I doubt it.

I highly doubt it. Does coconut, they do coconuts too? No, they do pineapples. We were talking about pineapples earlier. So I said Dole. I wonder if they do coconuts too. I hate coconuts, so I wouldn't know who the fuck puts them out.

The evil, disgusting fucking fruit. It always has like, the ones I've seen have like a woman shaking with a big hat and like dancing on. Is she throwing up from eating a coconut? Dude that's the nastiest. I see the Chiquita banana type of woman on a sticker on one of those. That's dull.

Is that dull? No it's not dull. It's Chiquita. We're stupid. So you just said Chiquita banana. I'm like yeah that's dull. That other company. That's how tired I am. Dull probably makes coconuts too. Who knows. I don't think anyone makes coconuts who knows i don't think anyone makes coconuts they grow them and pick them and distribute them but i'm still making them right who's got what's up with that coconut assembly line yeah you squirt the juice in the middle of

it get it in there if something has coconut in it even the slightest bit i can fucking sense it and i will spit it as far out of my mouth as possible and then just like I have a hair in my mouth for the next 10 fucking minutes. Literally, sometimes if you get certain granola bars, they sneak a, it's like the 18th ingredient and I'm like, oh, there's coconut in here. I fucking know it. It's the worst vile shit. Meanwhile, I smile and I'm thrilled about it.

The mayonnaise of fruit. It's fucking disgusting. I love it. Coconut. The mayonnaise of fruit.'s fucking disgusting i love it coconut the mayonnaise of fruit fuck coconut jesus that's my nightmare is a a clown with a jar of mayonnaise in one hand and a coconut in the other that's the worst thing slathering it on his cock he's slathering mayonnaise on his cock and dipping it in the coconut juice there we go i'm just gonna dip it in there swirl

it around i'm making you a coconut juice clown cock and uh what was the other thing it's a penis it's a clown penis colada that's what it is swirl that shit around yeah you like that mayo and coconut and clown cock you like that in your petrogallop yeah that's right i think we just invented a horrible drink. The scariest, most molesty drink ever. Why do I have a feeling people are going to tweet us about penis coladas and your clown dick? No pictures, please. Please. I made me a penis colada tonight. It was terrible.

Jesus. So December 6th, 2006, in the offseason, he's traded by the Royals to the New York Mets for Brian Bannister, who kind of has a mediocre career. Yeah, he's decent. 5.08 ERA. It wasn't nothing special, but we're not sure exactly what the deal was with the trade or why they would give up on a kid who throws this hard so early. You think it's not the Yips?

I mean, it might be that they're giving up on him and the throws this hard so early is a thing. It's not the yips. I mean, it might be that they're giving up on him and the Mets are, I'm not sure. That's just an organizational thing. And sometimes they just give up on a guy. Once they give up on a guy, he's it's, they just want it.

He's a righty. He's a right. He was a lefty. They would never fucking give up on. They'd be like, he'll trust me. He'll figure it out. Don't worry about it.

We'll put a magnet in the ball. If we have one way or another, we're getting that to the pitchers. Yeah's gonna pitch till he's 60 either way it does it's gonna be like jesse orosco just fucking jesse orosco look like an elderly uh like an elderly native american medicine man and he was out there fucking throwing uh relief innings i was like what is happening out here sabathia lefty yes Sabathia's still a lefty. He's a big giant fucker. Is he still playing? He still is, poorly.

Get out of here. Poorly for the last, I don't know, seven years or so. He's sticking around. Fucking hanging out. The thing is, too, as a Yankee fan, the fact that he's so happy is not endearing anymore. When you suck and you seem thrilled about it, it's not as happy. When you're a big, giant, happy, fat guy and you're winning, it's like, hey, this is great. And then when you suck and you seem thrilled about it it's not as happy when you're a big giant happy

fat guy and you're winning it's like hey this is great and then when you're losing you're like the fuck are you so happy about fat boy would you take one less trip around the buffet and one more fucking practice session out there in the bullpen and work on that curveball asshole what's going on here your cholesterol is higher than our wins yeah your cholesterol is lower your cholesterol is lower than your ERA, and your cholesterol is dangerous. So that's bad. One's 500, and one is fucking 508.

So take your pick. Not good. So yeah, the Mets fans are happy about this move, too. They see this guy as all potential. Because he's still a young kid. Christ, he's 22 years old. I mean, throws 100 miles an hour hour why wouldn't you be excited yeah uh this is from amazing avenue which is a like a met fan site uh basically where they talk well it's like amazing avenue amazing

like amazing yeah amazing mets amazing avenue they call it and it's you know it's kind of like met reddit met it we'll call it yeah uh yeah why didn't they go with that i don't know they fucking blew it. They really did. Well, I think this is Amazing Avenue has probably been up since Prodigy days. It's probably since 93. Right. It was one of the first.

It was like five wrestling boards and Amazing Avenue with a bunch of fucking guys who live in their mother's basement in Queens. Daryl Strawberry getting arrested again. Yeah. A bunch of guys who live in a basement in Flushing talking to each other about it. I'm telling you, that Daryl Boston's a bum. Not even Strawberry Daryl Boston

who was worse. That Mackie Sass that can't even throw back to the picture. Yeah I'm bringing up 93, 94 Met references. What's up motherfuckers? That Kevin McReynolds

I don't know. He's a fucking bum. He hasn't hit since 89. Good Christ. So. But we're going to get Bonilla soon so everything's going

to be better. We're not going to pay him a million dollars till 2035 or a goddamn year either. The only person in my head is Strawberry and his cousin Gooden. That's all I've got. That's it. Outside of that, fuck the Mets. Fuck, yeah. I grew up in New York, so I've had to watch those terrible games and there's nothing else on.

Also, as a Yankees fan, you're ripping on them, too, so you've got to know their roster. Yeah, you have to know their roster. Plus, as a kid, I was a sports junkie, so I'd watch any fucking game that was on, including the shitmets. Hating them by name is much more personal. Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Fuck yeah. And proves that you genuinely hate them.

That's the thing, yeah. I just told you a bunch of people that sucked on that team. So that's Sid Fernandez. Enough fuck. Put the tacos down sid jesus christ you're a fat bastard julio franco was there too wasn't he i think later later it was like 2000 2000 but he was like 40 at the time too he played till he was 45 anyway uh from amazing avenue they say quote the best part is that burga burgos is only 22 years old so there's

reason to believe that his best years may land ahead of him. By the way, spoiler alert, they don't. They do not. Bannister is a low upside pitcher who makes up for some of his natural shortcomings with a lot of hard work on the field and in the video room. This is a move that helps the Mets in 2007 as well as down the road, as Burgas may have the stuff to be a closer for this team when Billy Wagner's contract expires in 2009. So they're looking at this guy as like they're going to groom him to be the closer, which is a very trusted position in the bullpen, the most trusted.

You're the man. So they're a little off. Let's just put it that way. Let's just say that. Now, he has in 2007 for the Mets, he's down in the minors for a little bit, 9.1 innings in AAA and then four innings in rookie ball for some reason. I think maybe a rehab thing in the beginning of the year or something like that. It doesn't really matter what he does down there. He has a fucking zero ERA in rookie ball.

Does that matter? No, not at all for the mets though in 2007 he has a decent year in 17 games uh 23.2 innings not too shabby 17 hits which is pretty good uh 19 strikeouts not too bad two wild pitches which that's not great uh but a 3.42 era not not terrible that's's showing promise as a kind of a middle reliever that throws real hard. Not too shabby. People are looking at him like, hey, this isn't bad. This is working out for him.

But his season ends a little bit early, as we'll talk about here. So I'm going to say right before his season ends, let's say grace. This is grace here at the at the uh middle of the 2007 season at 23 years old oh boy and 43 minutes into an episode so here whatever it's going to be in the end but that's it's not great that's what i mean grace right here uh because on august 28 2007 he injures his elbow, and he ends up having Tommy John surgery, which is a total reconstruction, total redo of the arm. And he's going to miss an entire year, and he will never play in the majors again.

That's it. That is grace, my friend. That is it. In his three years in the majors, he's 8-10 with a 460 ERA, had 144 games, 160 innings, 160 hits. So even on those, 156 strikeouts, 77 walks, and 21 wild pitches. Wow. So that is his major league career. Right there, he makes $415,000, though, for 2007.

So, hey, there you go. That's not bad. We'll fucking take that. So he's having problems obviously the tommy john surgery really that'll that's that's a that's a huge deal change your life for a hard throwing pitcher especially because that's you don't know what he's going to be like if he comes when he comes back i mean some guys like steven strasburg came back throwing real hard after that and his arm fell apart also so he's you know he can't staple ligaments together expect him just to come the fuck back some guys do tommy john and it's a

time called tommy john surgery but he wouldn't throw 100 miles an hour tommy john tommy john was throwing 83 so it didn't matter he's just hucking it up there you know or get it over the plate yeah that's it that's it i mean it. I mean, some guys come back strong, but usually those 100-mile-an-hour fireballers, that's a bad thing. That's all arm. You're done, yeah. I mean, if you last its body, Nolan Ryan or Roger Clemens had legs the size of tree trunks. And if you watch them pitch, they're firing off their legs. That's why they had no arm injuries.

They could each pitch for 30 years. Clemens had steroids, too. Sure. Yeah. Nolan Ryan was just, you know, eating country ham in the morning and fucking going out there and throwing 100 miles an hour for a whole fucking game. Country ham and dick pills. That's it.

Dick pills. I got my dick pills, my Advil and my country ham. And that's it. Hold on one second, honey. Can you can you get the clown to make me a penis colada quick? I got a game. And you know that. I can't pitch a game without having clown dick mayonnaise coconut cocktail.

I just can't have it. I'll bet he has eaten ham every meal. Oh, absolutely. From country ham breakfast, honey cured for lunch, and damn honey baked for dinner. He's a big Texas guy, too too so i figure it's mainly a steak like he has like a you know like a 42 ounce t-bone for breakfast you know and he kicks it up like a 56 for dinner you know something like that and you know maybe a full rack of lamb for lunch lots of bone in whatever he eats oh yeah and the bone is sucked on he finds that marrow and he digs it he

digs it and he scrapes the meat off. Lots of tongue licking. Oh, yeah. This is good. He's like us with the blue crabs in Maryland. Oh, Jesus. Somebody quick aside. What's his name?

Harvey. Harvey. Thank you. Last name Harvey. Thank you, man, so much. David? We were so, I feel so bad because we were so half asleep is the only reason. I could pick him out of a lineup and give him a huge hug.

And I thought he's a great guy. He just got married and his wife's beautiful. Yeah. Awesome dude, man. This guy brought us a sack of Baltimore real blue crabs. Males. Because that makes a difference. And it's apparently from one of the better places that he works, Blake's, that he works

at. And this, they were unreal. Fucking incredible. He sat there just cracking them for us and because he knew what he was doing and and doling out the butter knife with a butter knife like a champ like like going out just handing us chunks of meat and claws and we're like oh my god i'm so glad he did it because i did one and i have a laceration you cut your hand open on one of them jesus he's bleeding all over the hotel lobby. These are delicious, but I'm bleeding.

I taste blood. They're good, but I didn't realize they'd taste like blood. These blue crabs. It's a really weird thing. I think I need stitches. These bite back. This is not great. That's what I mean. That sort of shit was so good, and we just can't thank him enough

for that. That was so awesome. A real experience of a local thing, and also, neither of us really eat good food on the road most of the time we're just busy and going as we eat a lot of pizza and a lot of burgers and just whatever and to do all the work for us to get the shit yeah man it was amazing so thank you we can't thank you enough for that that was so good now in february 2008 in uh spring training here he's still going with the team and all this type of shit. And he has some trouble. This isn't trouble on his part.

This is someone else getting arrested. Nothing to do with him. It's at the Spring Hill Suites down in Fort Pierce, Florida. An employee, a woman named Miranda A. Bird, who is 34 years old, is arrested and charged with grand theft in the stealing of $275,000 worth of jewelry from Burgos' hotel room. Why does he have that? He's made like 800 grand in his career. He's got a quarter of it invested in jewelry? How does he have that much in jewelry?

First of all, after taxes, he's basically spent all of his money on jewelry. How does he have food? I don't understand. How has he made it? He has no car. He just has jewelry. He just shows his, he gets rides by showing people his, want to see $275,000 worth of jewelry? Never seen that before right in front of you, right?

Well, all you got to do is give me a ride to the airport and I'll show it to you. Jesus Christ. Yeah, he was staying there and the police announced that they arrested this woman. He recovered all but five items, which they valued at about $20,000. So he got $250,000 worth of jewelry back. Insane. Why would you have that? No idea insane why would you have that no idea why would you have that i don't want that and then bringing it with you right put in a fucking safety

deposit right you jackass bank you fucking idiot you're not you're never wearing 275 000 worth of jewelry you're not just wearing that around all the time and if you are you're just begging to be robbed of it that's and worse stupid as shit why did you buy that when you are, you're just begging to be robbed of it. That's stupid as shit. And worse, why did you buy that when you were unemployed, motherfucker? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. Well, at the time, he still signed. The way he's looking at it is, I'll come back and I'll get another contract. And these guys have to think like that. But you don't buy too.

Save your money. Especially if you're staying at a Spring Hill Suites. That's what I mean. Why are you staying there with all that shit? Wait till you hear where where he's staying later on it's even worse when he gets in another problem here so uh the police said that this woman this miranda bird confessed that she took the jewelry while cleaning a room that he had she works up see yeah she was an employee of the spring hill suite she was she was the maid she cleaned the room and stole the shit that's why i don't that's why i always put do not disturb up. Stay out of my fucking room. Get the fuck out.

Get out. I don't have anything in here to steal and I still don't want you in here. Yeah, that's what I mean. When would you let a stranger come into your bedroom? Ever? Never, right? Why is it different?

Because it's a hotel. Why is it different now? Exactly. Fucking get out of here. Jesus Christ. I don't get that. Oh, it's a hotel. So this person that I'll never met before

and I'll fly away from the city and never see again. I can trust them completely. Why wouldn't they steal? What are you kidding me? So anyway, this woman confessed to taking the jewelry while cleaning it. Basically, he said he accidentally left the items behind in a black bag when he switched hotel rooms. Okay. He switched hotel rooms.

What did he bring with him yeah what's more important than 275 000 than a house worth of jewelry i'm picturing it as a like a four bedroom 2 000 square foot house basically is what they left in a hotel what he left in a hotel he's like oh i left my house there but at least i've got my razor and my underwear. That's what I mean. He brought his underwear. But I would have that first, cradling it like a baby. Like a newborn baby. And then I'd be like, oh, no, my clothes are still there. But $275,000 worth of jewelry. I got that to my new room.

I'm going to fucking keister that if I have to. I don't care. It's going up my ass. No one's. That's a house, man. Fuck out of here. So 2008 season uh he tries to make a comeback obviously he's only 24 so uh he's coming back uh he comes back they start him out very low in the rookie leagues obviously because they don't even know he's just trying to at this

point they're just trying you're just trying to get the ball over the plate of course i mean you don't give a fuck if it's you know if he's throwing strikes or you just want to get the ball over the plate. Of course. I mean, you don't give a fuck if he's throwing strikes. You just want to see that he's healthy and get his motion back and everything like that. And, you know, whatever. Teach him to pitch again, basically, here. So his rookie ball here in the Appalachian League. Sounds exciting, huh? Sounds great.

Oh, and Kingsport here of the Rookie League. He has a four and a half ERA. Only two innings pitch, so nothing much here. Nothing to speak of. Wild pitch, though. Just to throw that in there, it's only two innings pitch, so not too shabby, buddy.

But he just had that whole arm reconstructed. I'm shocked he only had one. I know. He's surprised it didn't just completely fall apart. Also, then they move him up to the Mets farm team down in the Gulf League there, the rookie league. He has a 540 ERA in five innings that time. No wild pitches, though.

That's good. Hey, hey, look at you. Something positive. Look at that. He had a big party. It's an awfully high ERA, though. That's a little much, but it's only over five innings. So like I said, they don't care if he gets hit. They just want him to be able to throw the ball

over the plate. It's like spring training. Like veteran pitchers, if you look at their spring training numbers, they're always terrible because they don't care. They're just trying to throw strikes and get their motion back. Get eight runs off me. What the fuck do I care? It doesn't count. Most of you will be bagging groceries

in two weeks, as they say. The famous saying goes you're going to be selling insurance and you're going to be doing this and you're going to be in low a ball fuck off one of you is trying out for the fire department and you're going to not make it yeah you're not going to make it you're just going well as you watch the ball sail over the fence you're going well that's the highlight of your life you're going to tell your grandkids about that and i won't even remember it i won't even remember it happened if someone brought it up to me a month from now i'd go who i don't remember that at all and you will tell your grandkids

about it so fuck off eat dicks fella so uh yeah also he goes to the uh a it's the high a ball there's low and high a ball he goes to the saint lucie team down there in the florida league uh has a three era in three innings so they they they're just kind of seeing if he can throw. He came back later in the year. He was off for a year, and kind of the last month of the season, they just moved him around, see what he could do. He does make $415,000, of which he bought $300,000 worth of jewelry. I have no idea.

But he probably did. Now, September 9, 2008 is when his problems begin yeah well i mean his off the field problems begin besides jewelry now september 9th 2008 he is arrested uh now this is fucked up uh this this is not cool first of all he's at a holiday inn now why are you at a holiday not even an express not even a no not even one of the newer ones. It's a holiday in right by Shea Stadium in fucking flushing. So this place is a dump. I'm sure it's old as fuck. It's crusty.

He is staying there with his girlfriend at the time. Apparently, they said that they lived together intermittently. So, I mean, on and off. I'm sure they're just fighting all the time. By the way he's sort of married and the dominican he's got he's dude this guy's a mess so we'll talk about it anyway and we'll talk about his ex-wife after a minute here so keep in mind at this moment in time he is six foot three 244 fucking pounds he's a giant man yeah he's a big giant son of a bitch and he's working out yeah

he's coming making a comeback yeah this is i mean he's a positive too well he's also pudgy too he's always a little bit pudgy but he's a either way he's a big strong son of a bitch uh no matter what he's in a hotel it's on it's on 114th street and 37th avenue by shea state or in the vicinity over there it's a holiday inn. Apparently, this Maria Lopez tried to leave the room for now. Listen to this. Now, I'll be honest with you, Jimmy. You never say that anything is a victim's fault here, but this is kind of her fault.

Listen to what she tried to do. Now, this is outside the bounds right here. She tried to balls on this woman. She has a young daughter with her she tried to leave the room to take her young daughter to register for school how fucking dare she you fucking bitch you stay in your place how dare you register your daughter for school like a normal person that was her job right now that's what she was that's what set him off really this is what set him off he didn't want her to leave and she said uh my daughter needs to go to school i have to go register her and this set this maniac off okay uh but that was obviously sarcastic in case you're

fucking stupid so you never know someone will be stupid and didn't pay attention to the beginning of it and just heard that and those got fucking assholes so anyway, this woman tries to leave the room. He freaks out and beats the living shit out of her. In front of the kid. In front of the kid. Punched her in the back. Knocked her down. Kicked her and punched her while she was on the ground.

Stomped on her. Stepped on her. 244 pound man. And bit her. And bit her. And bit her. For good measure. For good measure.

What the fuck. Punched her in the back. Bit her. Slapped her around, just basically abused the shit out of this poor woman in front of her kid. And her violation is taking the kid to school. I wanted to take my kid to go register for school, and he apparently didn't. He wanted her to stay and watch the jewelry, apparently. I don't know what the fuck her job was supposed to be. So he's arrested for this. This son of a...

Oh, yeah, yeah. He's arrested for this, which is good. Obviously, he's he's was arraigned after that on assault and harassment charges, which is that's saying the least I say in this sort of thing here. Now, his lawyer, a guy named Edgar Deleon, our first silver haired middle aged white man. And it doesn't matter what you're you can be Edgar Deleon and you're still a silver silver haired middle aged white man. What color doesn't matter what you're you can be edgar de leon and you're still a silver silver-haired middle-aged white man what color it's your

actions not who you are we've had plenty of black silver-haired middle-aged white men yeah all over the place so uh his lawyer here this guy said this guy says well the woman waited two days to photograph her injuries and she also declined medical treatment when the police came because i think someone else called the cops because it was a you know big commotion and uh she declined medical treatment because he was fucking there she probably scared shitless of him i know he got arrested but still they said that it took her two days to photograph her injuries and uh the lawyer implied that she was out to get his money uh now uh he ends up uh our guy here bergos ends up going straight to rikers island and he faces up to a year in jail over this charge that's good pretty good charge here he's released on 10

10 000 bail he ends up and he has to go to a court date now uh you would imagine he's gonna lie low yeah uh maybe check into a better hotel a holiday inn something with room service so you don't have to go out and fucking make a fool of yourself or make a scene. A picture of the room that Tom Hanks was staying in in Big. Yeah, yeah. That's where they were at, right? So, yeah, no. He instead gets out of jail and immediately heads back to the Dominican Republic.

He apparently gets down there and decides to let loose and let some steam off. You know how it is, man. You got a party, man. You're coming back from that injury, long recovery. By the way, I mean, nothing makes you want to celebrate more than just beating the shit out of someone 150 pounds lighter than you for wanting to take their child to do something that they should take their child to do. You really get a sense of accomplishment from that.

You got to celebrate. So what he does is he gets shit hammered going down to the Dominican. And pretty much as soon as he gets down there, he's really, really hammered. And he apparently unloads what they say,s several high caliber caliber weapons by firing shots in the air in front of the police station in his hometown he essentially went in front of the police station with assault

rifles and emptied the clips into the air what the shit if you did that here you would be shot so many fucking times they wouldn't even be able to figure out what part of you was what they couldn't put you back together again if you did that here. They arrested him. They were like, I think his clips are empty.

Go get him now. Just wait until he's done. He's almost done. Wait until he fires all of them. He's almost. Shh. Count. Turn the light.

Get down. Shut the lights off. Don't look out the window with the light on. Fuck it. Oh, you fucked it up. Now he knows we're in here. Shit. Okay.

Don't look through the people. He gets it. Oh, stop. You see the light on i'll fuck it oh you fucked it up now he knows we're in here shit okay don't look through the people he gets it oh stop you see the light get blocked off just count the goddamn rounds and then go get him count my shells so yeah he's uh this guy here oh god what a mess uh why would you do that first of all i don't know why you would do that that just makes no sense uh he is asked to appear at the police station for this because then he ran away and they're like, it's a small kind of a smallish town in the Dominican. And he's like, that's the baseball guy. So they were like, hey, can you come back to the police station?

Because we need to talk to you about, you know, firing off AK-47s into the air in the middle of the street in front of the station. And he said, no, I don't think so. No. So they called. They ended up they ended up coming with like a helicopter to his residence yeah to search his residence and they found several weapons obviously because he has them he's firing them off into the air there were seven dollars there yeah he did jesus on a on a major league salary all he's buying is jewelry and machine guns. It's a very interesting existence he has. He is going to be summoned about a month later, and he's released on a bail of 10,000 pesos. Here.

10,000 pesos. What is that? A Pepsi? I believe that is not even a pinky ring. That is nothing 10,000 pesos. So that's what he's released as. What is it? 10 to

1 a peso or something no i think it's uh worse now like it was like it was like a thousand to a dollar a long time ago wasn't it or a hundred to a dollar it was a lot of peso yeah it was a dollar i don't know what it is in 19 or in 2010 years ago might be 70 or something then either way but yeah so it's either way it's way. It's a negligible amount of money. It's not a lot for him. And he fired machine guns into the air in front of the police. Right there. That is the craziest thing anybody's ever done.

In all of our, honestly. Reckless. In all of our, reckless. The most reckless. The most suicidal. Yeah. And all of the things that we've ever heard. I mean, even, you know, Barrett Robbins fighting a cop and grabbing his gun and getting shot

and still trying to attack him. He didn't shoot off machine guns in front of the place where all the cops are. That seems like, come out here and shoot me, motherfuckers. Like, you're begging for it.

You think someone's just taking a shot out of the window at the guy or something. They have a turret. Seems like it would have been, that's inviting for sure. That's threatening. Yeah.

That's dangerous. It seems like... And that's post, I mean, that's post so many horrible things. threatening. Yeah. That's dangerous. It seems like post. I mean, that's post so many horrible things. Yeah, you can't do. I get it. It's the Dominican Republic. It's not exactly Manhattan, but it's still a fucking police station. They have guns and they're aware of criminals.

And I don't know if he's just the rich, crazy ballplayer guy where that maybe that's that. Maybe if it was some fucking you know some nobody maybe they would have shot him but they were like oh we can't shoot the only guy in town who has any money maybe that's what it was who the fuck knows here but it gets crazier okay so this this happens

shooting machine guns into the air emptying his clips in front of the police station he's released on $10,000 pesos not dollars so 24 hours later 24 hours later that's not that long 24 hours goes by a little quick you want to lay low i would say uh for you've just been arrested for doing something insane after you were just arrested for doing something for doing something horrific uh somewhere else but nope 24 hours later wow this is fucked up uh september 30th 2008 there is a hit and run involving a woman named josefina miniana martinez who's a 38 years old and angele fana who is 29 years old they are struck uh by a brand new Hummer registered to, guess who?

Our guy here, Burgas. They are run over by the Hummer, which flees the scene, and both women die. Both women die. Both of these women die, which is bad enough. And it gets worse, though, from there.

This is in his hometown. Never go home. This is why it's a crime in sports rule. You're too fucking comfortable in your your hometown you're obviously a little too comfortable in the holiday and in queens too but yeah this guy in his hometown if you're comfortable enough to fire off machine guns outside the police station right you can't be there that's too fucking comfortable also uh the four wouldn't have done that in new york i assume the forethought of his of his parents to almost name him burgoo and yeah well that's that's yeah he made road what's true he only thought so they didn't name him that that's his name but still fuck man it's pretty close isn't it pretty incredible uh yeah uh now the

the uh uh police here say quote the investigation indicates that bergas was the driver of the vehicle that hit the women. It's his vehicle. Several witnesses say he was driving the vehicle. And it's his vehicle. And he takes off. He runs. And he's gone for a week.

They're trying to find him. Leaves the country? No, no, no. Just takes off and hides out. He abandons them, obviously. Flees the scene, even though he ran over two months. out uh he abandons them obviously flees the scene even though he ran over two months uh now they he's wanted for uh for fleeing the scene of an accident and abandoning the victims which only carries a six-month two-year prison term jesus dominican republic you guys are very nice to people that's if it's an accident too uh he disappears after the accident and waits about

a week to turn himself in uh while they're there. While he's out, there's some shit happening. We'll talk about that. Now, the prosecutor of this. Now, after a couple of days, he comes out, a guy named Raul Chiarez. He comes out and says that an investigation that's going on could lead to additional charges because Jesus Christ, the 29 year old, her mother has accused Burgas of intentionally running her over because he asked her out recently and she refused to go out with him. Wow.

Apparently, since he came back home in this last couple of days, he had asked her out and she said no. And then two days later, he runs her over and kills her with a fucking Hummer. Holy shit. It's a pretty coincidental thing. I don't know how small this town is, but I mean, Jesus Christ, that's a pretty big coincidence there, I would say. Unbelievable. Yeah, this is fucking crazy.

So, you know, the mother's obviously super fucking pissed off here. And the problem is, though, he has a cousin who is also in the car, Edwin Silvestre Sanchez. This guy comes out once Burgos comes forward and turns himself in. He comes out the cousin and says, I was the one driving. Wasn't him. It was me driving. Even though every witness on the scene saw Burgos driving. But you have to understand.

And this this makes sense. And this is honestly this guy's taking the fall for his family. Right. Because if you're from a small town in the dominican republic chances are your family's pretty poor right if you go get a job in the majors if you give them 20 grand a year they're fucking you've set them i'll do whatever you whatever you did we did it you're taking care you're probably for the most part taking care of all of your relatives down there so that is their on 36 cents a day yes i mean it's it's

it's cheap to live down there it's a thing so i mean it doesn't take a lot and and you're you're that's their you know their fucking ticket and and so the family's gonna go hey uh you know edwin you were driving right because my fucking mortgages do so i got a mortgage and uh that means you were driving edwin that's how that works here. Now, the police have not decided whether to believe him or not or whether to charge him as an accomplice in this whole thing. Which, if you were running, if you were in the car that someone else is driving and you kept driving, I don't know how you could stop that. You're part of it, right? Yeah, but also I don't know how you could stop that. Unless he said, we're going to go run some women down when you got in the car.

I don't know. Eventually that car's got to stop at a red light. You could have turned them in, I guess. Yeah. You could jump out. The Mets here have a statement about this. Because now this is within three days. This is three crazy, or within a week, three crazy.

Insane incidents. Insane things are happening. They say, quote, we are extremely disturbed by the reports regarding the players potential involvement in the hit and run accident that unfortunately killed two women in the dominican republic we take this matter very very seriously and have begun an internal investigation to ascertain the facts our thoughts and sympathies are with the families of the victims we got it so sorry they're dead but we got it we'll take it sorry we're dead but we don't trust the dominican police who you know don't even care if people fire off machine guns in front of their fucking place that's a hell of

a point so i think that's what it is like yeah because i mean down there who we don't know and i don't i mean i'm sure there's parts of the dominican that aren't corrupt and shit like that but a lot of these countries it's there there's a lot of corruption in the police forces and the government money yeah if this guy throws you know 10 grand behind the you know officers fund or whatever the fuck i mean that worked with vince mcmahon and jimmy snookin goddamn you know western pennsylvania you can get away with western new york you can get away with that shit in dominican they may just be like it was cloudy that day yeah i don't know he couldn't see shit the sun was in his eyes just like dropping a fly ball babe that's it and it's just like a pop up in the infield. Sun's in my eyes. It happens. Yeah. Yeah.

So him disappearing is not great. While he's on the lam, the prosecutor says, quote, We recommend that Mr. Burgos turn himself in so we can start the judicial process. Like, please, it would be very helpful if we could prosecute you. Like I said, he finally turns himself in on October 7th. So he waits a week to turn himself in. Who knows what he was doing in that week, what fuckery he was up to. So October 10th, he's in court for the hit and run. And he's accused of abandoning the victims of the accident and fleeing.

They don't charge him with any sort of attempted murder or anything like that. Or murder, more likely. Or even negligent homicide. Or I don't know what they're... Driving. Something, yeah. Whatever it is, it seems deeper than that. murder, more likely, or even like negligent homicide or I don't know what they're driving. Something. Yeah. Whatever it is, it seems deeper than that.

If you run people over and kill them, because also who knows how fucking hammered he was. He was shit faced when he was firing off the machine guns. We don't know what he's doing. 24 hours later. Yeah. I mean, he could have been still on the fucking bender for all we know. Anyway, so the prosecutor here is obviously he wants jail time uh for him uh in at court the witnesses they have the mother saying that she he asked the daughter out the

day before or whatever and she turned him down and next thing you know she's run over uh they have witnesses say that he was the driver of the hummer that struck the two people uh the whole thing the cousin does say that he was at the wheel, and Burgos says that the cousin was at the wheel. So it wasn't even me. He goes, I was in the back seat. I wasn't even in the front. I don't know anything about this.

Like, shit. That's ballsy. That's why I took a week to turn myself in. I didn't want to clear that up right away. Now, the judge rules that he will be jailed for three months while awaiting the trial. He said, since you ran for a week, we can't trust your ass. And also, you're just kind of fucking wacky. So we're going to go ahead and fucking lock you up for a while

and kind of maybe let you get your shit together because you're kind of fucking loopy right now. He says that he was, everything's going to be fine. Burgas says through his translator, quote, I am going to come out of this fine because my conscience is clear and I'm not worried this will affect my career because I haven't done anything. Also, I barely have one right now. Also, yeah, career is the least of your concerns.

By the way, I didn't hear. Sorry, women died at any point in there. Nothing. He just said my conscience is clear. I was in the backseat. I don't know. Shit. Yeah.

Ridiculous. It won't affect my career because I don't know shit. Yeah. Ridiculous. It won't affect my career because I haven't done anything, you know, in my career. In my career. Never mind beating the shit out of that woman in the hotel room. That's a separate issue. Jesus Christ. I guess the courthouse was packed because this is like a bit. He's like a famous guy.

There's nobody else famous in this town. Many. He says his whole case is that, quote, many people in this town uh many he says his whole case is that quote many people in this town are jealous of him and they exaggerate things because he is the only major league pitcher from there and so everybody wants a piece of him and uh they're exaggerating things and it's all just jealousy there's player hating that's all it is man that's all it is uh so uh uh he says that he's confident also that he'll be out of jail, uh, in time for his October 23rd court date in New York to face assault and harassment charges for

beating the shit out of his girlfriend on the ground in front of her fucking daughter. God, he's an asshole. This guy. Oh, it gets worse. That's the, that's the thing he, what he does to, I gotta give him credit for this as a, as a story. He really set himself up to, to be a story to be told because he escalates. He doesn't do some shit in the middle and get a DUI later.

He doesn't peter out. He goes out with a fucking bang. I mean, with one of the craziest Bruno Fernandez de Sousa type lunacy I've ever fucking heard of. Unbelievable. Yeah, he says this shit. He also says, yeah, he'll definitely be there he says quote i'll get out of here soon and i'll also clear up what happened in new york i got this clear it up i'm good i'm good now it's all gonna get cleared up not only this i didn't beat her up i didn't

run this one over to death yeah i'm not a terrible guy to women at all explain all that away he is basically a knight in shining armor with a with just a dozen white roses just trying a little honorable man laying down before you really puts his his coat over a puddle for a woman he's really just mr chivalry here his coat over a puddle and pushing her into another one i see him putting a coat over her head and then shoving her into a puddle holding her head under the water putting it over her head so she can't see like it's a fucking sack like a burlap burlap sack shoving her into a giant puddle till she drowns holding her down with his big stupid foot he also faces firing an m16 while speaking of that he also faces an unrelated charge

of uh illegal weapon possession uh after being released from he posted three thousand dollars bond for that uh for the illegal weapon possession because when they raided his house he had fucking machine guns which is not shocking because they saw him firing it off so october 29th 2008 uh this is past october 23rd by the way, where that other court date was. He's released from jail with this here. He is ordered to pay $57,000 by the judge, not pesos, dollars, and appear every two weeks before a magistrate until the court date is set. That's his bail condition. It's pretty stiff.

I mean, every two weeks to make sure you still come back. You know, that's not bad. Hey, make sure you didn't forget about this shit and flake out and 57 grand he's got to put down in cash every two weeks which he doesn't have to put that down he's got to be there every two he's got to be there every two weeks to check in and say I haven't gotten in any more trouble have not run over any more women also I'm here and here I am just like he asked me to be here he is also prohibited from leaving the country without permission as well. He has to have permission. I don't know if he can get permission to deal with his other shit or not.

Now, his father, Pablo Burgos, he says, quote, my son is innocent. The issue is that here in Nagoya and Nagua, there are a lot of people who want to hurt him. So that's it. So it's jealousy. Yeah, but there's also a lot of people he wants to hurt,. So that's it. So it's jealousy. Yeah, but there's also a lot of people he wants to hurt, apparently. Jealousy's a motherfucker, you weak, jealous motherfucker. That's what he basically said. He said the beginning of there's nobody until somebody kills you.

He's just listening to fucking. Duns of Biggie. Yeah, he's just listening to Life After Death on loop. That's all he's got. Unreal life after death on loop that's all he's got unreal so uh the judge is playing give me the loot yeah he's playing give me the give me the 57 000 there give me the loot give me the loot oh shit so uh he says son is innocent though now december 12 2008 he's quote granted free agency in other words have a good one asshole uh your contract's up and i ain't giving you another one right now.

So you're a free agent, you lucky dog. Go dip your clown dick in the market and see what kind of fucking penis colada you come up with there. Let us know how that recipe shakes out. Can we call an episode penis colada? I don't know if we can use penis in our show title. I don't know how much iTunes is going to do it. That's what I mean. I get flagged for penis colada i don't think i don't know if we can use penis in our show i don't know title i don't know how much itunes is gonna do that's what i mean pete might get flagged for penis colada i'm not sure if we can do that clown dick cocktail is definitely out i'm gonna say right yeah we can't have clown dick cocktail as an episode title so uh march 12th 2009 uh he is in court in New York now for the domestic assault here. Now, this is fucking

amazing. Jesus Christ. He they're they're painting him as quite the monster. And now they also can paint him as a guy who fucking ran over women in another country, too. So there's a they can paint him. And it's not hard to paint him as a monster, being that he acted as a complete fucking monster. Now, the Queens assistant district attorney, Kelly Simmons Newton, said, quote, Why would a man take a few minutes out of his day to hit a woman to regain control? When she took back control of the relationship, that's when he began to beat her. Apparently, this is not the first time this has happened. The woman didn't say, oh, no, this is just out of nowhere. He beat me up. It never happened before before yeah apparently this has been an escalating thing

with him he's like a boxer who's been hit in the head too many times you know we do the episodes on boxers and like all of a sudden they start doing really like just reckless outlandish shit like rick bogue fucking kidnapping his family you're just like driving a truck yeah then being like i'm gonna be a truck driver that is reckless just joining the marines and shit like crazy or crazy or shit which it's not crazy to join the marines but if you have a hundred million dollars it's crazy to join the fucking marines at that point it's even crazier to quit yeah i can't do this fuck this gee this is hard a hundred million dollars what am i doing this for that's what it is right there it's like i i have a hundred i have a mansion right what am i doing here i'm sleeping in a cot next to another man what is wrong with me in a green tent i shit next to other men i have

100 million dollars no doors like yeah i could have a throne toilet with a fucking gargoyle on it behind me if i wanted to overlooking me shitting ridiculous so uh also the prosecutor says that uh the i'm sorry the woman testifies maria lopez testifies that he told her as he was beating her quote the police won't do anything to me i'm a baseball player oh boy who told him that uh probably uh somebody told him that oh you, you know what? There was probably the police. Yeah. Yeah. That's like, oh, stop shooting those machine guns. Yes, please. Please.

We are not going to do anything. These are baseball players. He's out of bullets anyway. Just let him go. He was just blowing off some steam, having some fun. Very stressful job he has. But he works so hard. Jesus Christ.

He is found guilty of assault and harassment in court up here. Not too hard to be found guilty when this woman was beaten pretty severely. And she was there. It's not a real, this wasn't a tough case to close, I don't think. The jury, they had indicted him. And after a four, it was a four-day trial for assault, which is a long trial for assault. That's a half a day trial. But if which is a long trial for assault. That's a half-a-day trial. But if you have a good lawyer, it's not.

So it ended on a Thursday, and they said that he's going to be detained until sentencing, too. They're not even going to let him out. They're going to hang on to him. They're going to hang on to him, yeah. They're going to detain him for sentencing, which is hardcore. They don't trust his ass. Well, he's from another country, so he can just leave the country. I think that's what it is.

He's got a passport. He could be gone in two seconds. And citizenship. And citizenship somewhere else. The prosecutor said, quote, violence against women is unacceptable, and especially for those who are popular and whom children consider to be heroes. Yeah. How about just stop beating the shit out of women?

I don't care if you're a fucking hero or not. Right. You're a guy, and you're 6'3", 245 pounds. Don't beat the shit out of women it doesn't really i don't care if you're a fucking hero or not you're a guy and you're six three two hundred forty five pounds don't beat the shit out of a woman and especially let's add another one to that let's add a fucking uh moderator or a modifier to that uh not in front of kids too let's keep that out of the fucking way too jesus if you must beat the shit out of each other wait till the kids are not there please and then also don't beat the shit out of each other thank you it's kids are not there, please. And then also don't beat the shit out of each other. Thank you. It's our public service

announcement for the fucking day here. They do find him. They they spend over an hour deliberating and they convict him of misdemeanor assault. So this isn't a felony

assault either. Somehow it's a misdemeanor assault, but they've convicted, but they've convicted him of was the felony one what he was up for and they fucking just I'm not

sure if it was a lower charge or what. I'm not sure exact he didn't cop a plea this went to it no this was a hour of jury deliberating and everything else he went the whole fucking nine on this one so april 14 2009 is the sentencing so he sat in jail for a month uh awaiting sentencing here uh sitting in in uh in a new york fucking jail is not nice at all uh his lawyer here again this edgar de leon uh he says that his client is a big target because of his fame and wealth uh he's just keeping that line going he's a big target uh before the court appearance here uh he submitted the lawyer submitted a letter from bergos' current wife, because he's married through all this, by the way. What the fuck?

Which is great. And we'll talk about her. She has a run-in with her, shocker. But he's married while he's asking women out and running them over, allegedly because they said no. And when he's fucking beating the shit out of girlfriends in a hotel room, isn't his wife? You've got a wife, man. Dude, not even as unreal man this guy he's an asshole on a lot of levels this guy indeed uh complete fucking loose cannon here uh they said that uh

this uh wife that he married uh claims that now they've only been married a month but they were together before that they've been married a month now so they got married right when he was found guilty yeah so this sounds like he needed someone to write a letter. Yeah. Is what it sounds like. They get married and they claim, the letter claims that he's a good husband and he hasn't beat her up. So in a month's time, he's a good husband and he hasn't beat her up.

So that'll clear the whole thing up. And the DA said, quote, the fact that he hasn't hit his wife in a month is hardly a ringing endorsement. End quote. That's one of the best.A. said, quote, the fact that he hasn't hit his wife in a month is hardly a ringing endorsement. End quote. That's one of the best lines ever. Americans are the best. That's the thing. You're not going to get sarcasm like that in the Dominican Republic in a courtroom. They're going to be serious. Hardly a ringing endorsement. Fuck you. He and his, you know, pleading for leniency here.

His his only thing is he's denying it still. And he says, quote, I'm not that kind of person. And the judge says, well, I have the facts here and the jury tend to disagree with you. So you, sir, may fuck off nine months in jail for him here. Yeah. Nine months in jail. He only spent six months in jail, though. And then he is deported back to the dominican republic to face charges to face charges well we'll find out no no those are

we'll find out about this that ends up by the way getting dropped the hit and run wow he ends up not getting shit for the hit and run which we'll talk about in a minute here uh now okay he he spends his six months in jail yeah and is deported back to the Dominican Republic. I don't know. Still a hero, probably, which is fucking interesting. And one thing, though, he's not driving. His Hummer's fucked up and he's got shit like that. So he's forced to walk around, which frightens him, actually, because he thinks he's a huge target.

So he's like all fucking paranoid. And weird thing is he gets super paranoid. He goes to this one neighborhood that he hasn't been in in a while, because he's not... You know what I mean? He hasn't spent a lot of time there. He's separated. He's got a compound.

He's been at the Holiday Inn. Been at the Holiday Inn the whole deal. So instead here, he's there. He hears this one neighborhood. He doesn't understand what's going on. People are speaking English there. It's very, very strange. and from a stoop from a dark dark stoop he hears estevez jones mma fighter and 70s blaxploitation film villain and he says motherfucker how is it you come to arrive here man what the fuck is wrong with you

now now now listen to me now i ain't gonna tell you not to be hitting women i understand sometimes you gotta keep a bitch in line all right now i'm there you know i'm saying but you ain't making no money off these bitches that's my problem see there's no money being made now if you're gonna be hitting motherfuckers stomping bitches on the ground now you get her up and you go now get your ass out there make me me some scratch, bitch. That's what you do. You sorry motherfucker. I'm tired of your ass. No, you a punk motherfucker.

Get out of my face. Get out of my neighborhood before I fuck you up. I'll turn your ass out in a corner, motherfucker. Get out of here. Put my fucking alligator tip up your ass. Get out. And then poof, in a cloud of feathers and alligator skin, he's gone. It's very confusing.

And Burgos didn't understand a word of it. Nothing. The message is completely lost on him. feathers and alligator skin. He's gone. It's very confusing. And Burgos didn't understand a word of it. Nothing. The message is completely lost on him. Probably for the best, because we don't want to give this guy any ideas. No. Estevez Jones is a bad influence on him, I would say. Because he'd go, you know what?

He's got a point. He is right. Those bitches deserve this. Don't run them over. Collect them and turn them out. What am I thinking? What am I doing? Oh, my God. I need to buy so much more jewelry so

much to leave in the residence oh my god how much jewelry i could buy if i sold women jesus absurd so he in late 2009 um obviously hot commodity in the majors at this point you would imagine uh not at all he is signed by uh jesus this name. Azucareros de la Este of the Dominican Winter League. So he's playing Dominican Republic. Dominican Republic Winter League ball. Down where Rod played and the announcers called him Roast Beef. That's the closest they could get to Rod Beck. Roast the beef.

How's that? Roast the beef. That always cracked me up. His impression of it was the funniest. That's what he would say. Roast the beef. That's so fucking funny. Sounds like he's doing an Arby's commercial in the middle of the game.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Awesome. So, yeah, he's down there. This is a fucking, I mean, this is not the best league. This is wonderful, though. He throws one game he's uh one third of an inning and he ends up with a 54 era what he gives up two runs in one third of an inning okay uh not great at all uh let's just say that he pitched one one batter

one battery got it no two batters he got one that no he got because he got an out he got a strike out then he had to give up two runs, so he gave up zero hits, too. So I don't know how the fuck he pulled that off, gave up two earned runs and zero hits. That was an impressive third of an inning. Good job, pal. Let's just say that. That was an exciting one for the other team.

Yeah, not terrific. Not great at all. He gave up two walks, and I assume they probably pulled him. Someone else let the runs in, and then they're charged to him because he gave up no hits. So strikeout and two walks, and both those guys scored and that's how you end up with a 54 era in the dominican winter league so that's all he pitches then uh now this is the crazy shit that he does uh this interrupts uh this interrupts his 2010 season we'll talk about here august 28th 2010

this is fucking insane. Okay. His ex-wife, now his ex-wife, remember the one who said he's a great husband and he hasn't beat her in the month they've known each other? In the year since then, they've now been divorced. He has beaten her severely, threatened her with death on several occasions to the point where while they try to put a case together against him for all these threats and shit, they're so scared for her life because he's got money and he's got a family and all this type of shit there that he's living at the local prosecutor's house. There she is. The wife, the ex-wife is being housed at the local prosecutor's house for protection.

That's how they like took her in. Like, no, no, give her the extra room in my house. That's how fucking crazy this guy is. Like, no, no, give her the extra room in my house. That's how fucking crazy this guy is. No, the Holiday Inn isn't going to work. He can get into those. We know what happens there. There's no fear of the Holiday Inn. Agustina Castillo is the prosecutor,

and so they stay at her house for protection after he threatens to kill her for going to the police. So this is probably a good move, except for the fact that I don't know if there wasn't a lot of protection there. I don't know if they just figured it's the prosecutor's house. No one's going to try shit at the prosecutor's house. That would be stupid. That'd be like firing off machine guns in front of a police station.

It'd be the dumbest thing you could do. Like running over a girl that you just asked out to and then running away from it. You know, kind of like beating up a woman in a hotel room right next to your job right next to your office at the place you fucking work and stomping her in front of her child that's much like those things crazy okay this is crazy because i feel like he had a he had a de souza cooking right now if you're not familiar with that listen to the beginning episodes of crime and Sports. I think it's like episode six. Two? Two is Lawrence Phillips.

Oh, okay. Yeah, you're right. Bruno Fernandez de Sousa, the now freed soccer player who killed his girlfriend and had her cut up and fed to dogs. I feel like this was this woman's fate here. So 9 a.m. at the prosecutor's house uh this is fucking crazy the the judge the judge was teacher the the prosecutor was teaching a class at the university and so uh i guess his ex-wife was there by herself burgos kidnaps her from the prosecutor's house yeah which how crazy

yeah fucking broke in and kidnapped her uh this is crazy shit uh the prosecutor's house. Yeah. Which. How? Crazy. Yeah. Fucking broke in and kidnapped her. Okay. This is crazy shit. The prosecutor ends up having to file a complaint with the police thinking she left and what happened here. So they go out to look for Burgos, who has left for Santo Domingo. So now they're chasing him with a kidnapped woman that he's threatened to kill in the car.

Holy shit. This is fucking nuts. It gets worse. Okay. He is captured we'll find out what happens but he's captured at a toll booth uh uh south of uh highway uh he's captured uh when he was he had by the way his white hummer yeah the same one he ran the two girls over with fuck did he get away with he's's got that. They end up finding his ex-wife here, Reynoso Hernandez,

dizzy and semi-conscious because he forced her to drink a cocktail laced with rat poison. What? That's how he kidnapped her, got her in the car, force-fed her cocktails with rat poison that's

way worse than a penis colada yeah way fucking worse he's like forcing strychnine down the throat forcing rat poison yeah he made rat poison cocktail and fucking forced her to drink it and she's in a semi-conscious state dying of fucking poison in a car so he this he was taking her somewhere to dump her after the fucking to who knows probably to feed her fucking dogs or something i mean this is a total desousa situation what the shit thank fuck that the prosecutor was on top of that shit and called the cops and the cops were actually on top of it enough to capture the i don't know how many white hummers there are in the you know that part of the dominican republic there's one there's one and it's his uh so they

said that he gave her enough to where she was going to die yeah she had enough in her system to die they got her whatever somehow to some kind of treatment for that yeah uh so she's admitted to the health center after that fed her rat poison cocktails uh they drugged her with rat poison fucked up in the car dying in the car after he broke into the fucking district attorney's house and fucking kidnapped her. This is 2010? This is 2010. How do we not know about this? This is what I mean.

This guy was in the major leagues. He broke into a prosecutor's house and kidnapped his ex-wife that he had threatened with death and forced vet her fucking rat poison. He sold a witness and forced rat poison. Rat poison cocktails down her throat and forced rat poison rat poison cocktails down her throat and then tried to drive her to dump her so this is insanity this is definitely like a top 10 crazy for fucking crime and sports like this guy's gonna take a scummy or two sure i have a feeling he's a he's a high candidate for a scummy what's his mom think of him good guy we do we do have a papa gilreath his dad said he's innocent obviously but uh his

mom has not has no comment from his mom here i'm not sure his father knows better yeah that's true yeah she's don't you talk that's what i mean she's felt that you better shut your mouth he's just stirring a cocktail old pablo the father what do you have to say there excuse me huh what's that i made you a drink sweetheart what do you think of your boy what'd you say yeah oh my god so uh this jesus officials obviously her name is uh del uh deli deli deli uh delania is what she goes by jesus christ it's hard to say uh rey no so uh that's her like name that she goes by uh i guess she was living with him until the death threats and that's when they got divorced and she had to move in the prosecutor's house uh she's he's accused of kidnapping and attempted murder yeah this time uh this is you

know serious i would say uh he is uh he he goes to court they bring charges against him uh they reject a request for bail from his lawyer good and they order incarceration while the prosecution prepares a case against him if found guilty he faces up to 30 years in prison uh kidnapping and attempted murder is hardcore it's pretty steep that's pretty steep and it's gonna put they're gonna put a little extra stank on it considering you broke into the fucking district attorney's house right and stole her i feel like that's gonna be extra the judge is gonna put a little extra fucking curveball and and i would assume the prosecutor is gonna go a little bit harder on you. They're not going to overlook anything.

They're not going to be like eating a sandwich while people are going over the details. They're going to be very focused, taking notes about how they're going to prosecute you. You are in charge of prosecuting the man who violated your the place where you are supposed to feel safe in your own house. And you get to be the one that does it. That'd be like you going to court it's a for bum animal for bums yeah and being like listen you for toilet shit or toilet clogging motherfucker that's what i mean like this person you'd be pissed especially do that that's a personal thing if she took if the prosecutor took this woman into their home that's's very personal. That's your place. Yeah.

That's like, wow, you're not doing that. Right. It shows a definite, just complete disregard for any kind of law and order whatsoever. Anybody that breaks into the place where you take your pants down. Yeah. That's fucking, that's real personal. But to do it to the prosecutor's house? Who the fuck breaks into a district attorney's house on purpose? Right. To kidnap a woman. Whose house would he not do it to the prosecutor's house? Who the fuck breaks into a district attorney's house on purpose to kidnap a woman?

Whose house would he not do that to? And to kidnap a woman who you're on record threatening their life. That's the other thing. It's like you never met this person before. They're going to think you did it immediately. And then attempted to take her life. Yeah. That's the other thing, too.

Did he think that they would? No one will know who took her. They'll just think she disappeared. No one will know. What a coincidence. What a big coincidence. Kind of like when you ask a woman out and she rejects you and you run her over with a fucking hummer yeah this guy is not nice to women to anybody i honestly any fucking because and down there he's like a rich guy who's got some notoriety i feel bad for any woman that

fucking comes in contact with him because they don't know i mean i feel bad for them but not nearly no not nearly but there's not a person okay no mistaken identities not nearly as bad as i feel for fucking nobody because this is the weirdest name ever and no one on earth has named us except for this guy i feel bad for burgoo i feel bad recipe really took yeah it's it's it's almost his name it's it's a it's a recipe for a roadkill stew from the hills of West Virginia, and I still feel it's still a better thing than him. So what does he get for this? Much better. Let's fucking find out here.

So the main thing is Dominican Winter League expels him for life from the league. For life. The majors didn't expel him for life. They just didn't re-sign him. They said, you're fucking out, asshole. This is before any guilty verdict. They said, that's enough assholery from you. You've done plenty.

Fuck off. So they get rid of him. He submits a petition to the Dominican League to be resubmitted into the league next year, to be reentered in the league next year. Worry about not being in prison for 30 years, I would say. 2011, 2012, while this is all going on, he's signed by a Venezuelan Winter League team. They let him leave the country to go fucking play baseball while he's on trial for attempted murder? What the fuck is this shit?

How much do those Venezuelans not give a fuck about the women in their town they don't care well it's not they who knows if they even know about it i don't even i mean i don't know who knows we had no idea we didn't fucking know exactly i mean all you do is google him it's not that hard and it's 2011 you could have just found out pretty easily it's gonna happen it would and especially it just happened it would have been like the first page of results would have been, oh, rat poison. Jesus Christ. I'll bet it shows up before his wiki page.

It does. And it does. No, I think it's like stats, wiki, rat poison. Actually, the rat poison is lower. The rat poison is like page two. Really? The big one is the beating up, because it was in New York. So it was in all the New York papers, him beating up his wife.

So that was the big one, him beating up his girlfriend. That's like two pages of beating up his girlfriend and then rat poison rat poison rat poison and then if you dig deeper machine guns in front of the police station because that happened down there and the hit and run is like intermixing in there now and then it's it's a fucking mess though but that's all it is it's like there's two pages of stats and then there's fucking all this insanity this is a tornado lightning lightning tornado in a bottle it's short it's sweet and it's fucking deadly it is horrible it's fucking horrible so uh uh 2011 2012 it's uh tigeris de araguaya of the dominican winter league he plays down there i mean does it fucking matter really at this point what he does here one game he plays in throws one inning what's the point it doesn't uh goes to a whole

other country for that uh he starts the game too which is weird uh starts the game and only pitches an inning which i don't understand after that i don't know if they just put him out there to be like a spectacle like hey a major league player used to play there uh zero no era doesn't give anything up no strikeouts no anything just that's it faces three batters a couple of ground outs or something and that's that uh 2013 season by the way uh he they never follow through with this prosecution what they never follow through with it he's fucking free no way he never he just keeps playing baseball they don't ever they don't ever still play they don't ever put him in no no he's done now because he sucks but yeah they don't ever put him in prison for for that whole thing so now

today wandering around the dr probably driving his hummer around the dr with a quarter million dollars worth of jewelry on uh 2013 season uh march 20 2013, because he's released by the Venezuelan Winter League team after that. They didn't like what they saw, obviously. So March 20th, 2013, he is signed by Sara Peros de Satio, which is in the North Division of the Mexican League, which is right where you want to be. That's when you know your career is on point. He's getting close to coming back to Arizona, though though he's creeping up like that he's gonna end up in the fucking fall league over here for christ's sake uh he go he's there this is in uh satio uh in mexico yeah and uh you know he doesn't do too well uh 15 games uh 21 uh i'm sorry 15 games uh 14.1

innings 12 12 hits. That's not bad, but it's the North Mexican league. I don't know how to compare it. 23 strikeouts. So if you had that line in the majors, it'd be fine, except for the 5.91 ERA. And a wild pitch, too, just for old time's sake. Motherfucker.

Just for old time's sake. Throw that wild pitch in there. April 30, 2013. So a month later, he is released by them. So it doesn't last long there. But May 29th, 2013, he is signed by Vaqueros Laguna of the Mexican League. This is in Torreon, Mexico. And he plays there very briefly also.

I mean, who the fuck wants this guy? These are good stats, though. We should get into this. Nine innings pitched. I'm sorry. Seven innings pitched with a nine ERA. Very nice there. Well done. Nice wild pitch to end it out. Seven strikeouts in seven innings, but 12 hits. So he's getting hit.

I don't think he's throwing 100 anymore. And, you know, he's got those pesky people chanting you know fucking rat poisoner and shit like that adam it happens it's tough it's interesting that he's taking the fall back to where uh every woman in his life is there and yeah he's taking hits he's taking hits yeah this guy is just a real nice guy so uh he's signed by them and then june 24th less than a month later he's released by them so he can't stick with the mexican league at this point it's over and it's all over for him but he's not in prison no so i mean jesus christ this guy may not be over it's he's not in prison that's what i mean i'm wondering how did he just calm down did he lose all his money and then not have

any influence anymore nobody cared so he didn't have an ego but it seems like a guy who would go that crazy to be like that's that's like suge knight level fucking insanity it's not fixed no that's literally like like shit should not suge knight would do like i'll just shoot machine guns off front of police station steal shit from the prosecutor's house like it's crazy eventually you get so brazen with your behavior that you do it on camera and that's what happened to show that's's what happened to shug and jesus well he did it several times on camera but i mean he ran somebody over just recently and that's why he's in jail now in the 90s they killed a guy at a party on camera and it was fucking him and 15 other people beat a guy to death and on camera in front of off-duty police officers nobody gets charged not one person

charged so what does that tell you there's's a lot of corruption there. There is. Let's talk for another time. By the way, speaking of Suge Knight, Suge Knight played for the Los Angeles Rams, not the Raiders. The Rams? Played for the Rams in the late 80s as a replacement player. Also played two years at UNLV and had a very good career there. Was like their rookie of the year the first year he was in UNLV. He was a defensive captain. He's going to be an episode he's gonna be an episode oh he will fucking be an episode and i there's so much shit on him i've been reading books and shit really oh i'm preparing for it

early it's gonna be a good one it's gonna be a long one that might be a two fucking parter that's gonna be a long one but uh wow is there so much stuff you've never even fucking really heard about. It's wild. Right. But as far as Burgos goes, can't get enough of this lunatic? Enough. I've had enough of him. Well, guess what you can get? Yeah. How about an autographed baseball card?

How about no? Of him on the Royals. It's autographed. It's only $20.89. Wow, that's expensive. With $4.99 shipping. Jimmy, it's on sale. It's for the Christmas season. It's on sale. It's for the Christmas season. It's on sale down from $30.79.

Why is that so much money? I have no idea why that is. $5 in shipping. Only two left. They're flying off the shelves. I can't believe it. Is there just none? You know what you should do, Jimmy?

Let's take a step back here. For your son, because role models are a hard thing to come by, and you can only do so much as a father, so he needs role models. I say you get him one of these, and I hope he can turn out to be half the man that he is. Good lord here. And it says if you order it, you can get it. It'll be here

by Christmas Eve. That is very good. That's a nice promise. If you order it as soon as you hear this, you can get here by Christmas. Fingers crossed. Get that for your little boy boy always what they've always wanted or your little girl yeah i mean she's got to have somebody to look up to too and you gotta know how to be treated she's got well she's also got to know uh never accept cocktail from a man who a cocktail from a man who kidnaps you from a prosecutor's house wow uh also you can get an, uh, a Burgos, uh, Mets game used locker, uh, name plate, the name plate, a real name plate from his clubhouse there with his name on it.

Uh, from the Mets locker room, 43 99. That is too much fucking money. Plus free shipping. It's down, Jimmy. It's on sale for the holiday, down from $61.59. Fuck. $61.59. So $43.99 plus free shipping.

That's a hot item. I don't know how there's any of those left in stock. You can't get it. If you order it now, I'm sorry, it won't be here until January 28th. So not in time for Christmas for your little girl, Jimmy. I'm very, very sorry. Let me just tell her it's on its way. It's on its way, sweetheart.

Look at what it is. She'll be so excited she won't even care. That's the thing. Every little girl wants a Burgos nameplate from the Mets locker room. Now, on the website, kingsofkauffman.com, which is a Kansas City soup. That's like their Amazing Avenue, basically.

Their fucking Reddit. They have him. They have the worst Kansas City 25 man roster of all time. They have him on these as the setup man on that team. So the setup man out of the bullpen is for Gus. Maybe not for his performance, because I'm sure there's been worse royal pitchers. If you've watched royal baseball for a long time,

but probably not one who tried to feed his ex-wife rat poison after he kidnapped her from a prosecutor's house, ran over women for not wanting to go out with him, fired machine guns off in front of the police station, and stomps, bit, and slapped the shit out of a poor woman who wanted to register her children for school. All in such a short amount of time. Lightning tornado in a bottle that was i wrong or what that's the only way to describe this this was one of those episodes where i'm like well there's no way to get three hours or two and a half hours out of this thing but it's such a

fucking crazy story that who gives a shit how long it is because this i feel like this is three hours worth of crazy in a two-hour fucking package it's a lot and so it's three three hours worth of crazy in a two-hour sack basically is what we got here so uh yeah he's a mess and uh he's still out there wandering the dominican watch out so be careful ladies if you uh stay out of the road stay out of the fucking road if this guy asks you out uh change your, move somewhere else because he will run you down. Very, very brutal. But that is Ambyrix Burgos.

Ambyrix Burgos. There you go. There is he. And wow, that's a hell of a way to end the 2018 year with one of our worst people ever. Truly. So that's not too bad here. Very happy that you guys stuck around for that and stuck around for another year of crime and sports.

Yeah. We will do the scummies in, we do those in like the beginning of February because that's technically our year because we started in February. So we don't have a calendar. It's our calendar year sort of thing. We didn't wake up on January 1st. Exactly. Let's start a podcast.

Exactly. So we put that out there at the end of our year because otherwise we wouldn't have a whole year worth of scumbags to talk about so uh who knows in the next month there could be heavy contenders for some of these awards we have no idea so uh he's up for a few i'm gonna say just just off the top of my head he's not gonna be uh he won't be left out of the scum he's this guy uh if you like this show like we said things you can do to support the show are very, very easy. Go over to iTunes, just simple as that, or wherever you listen to podcasts and give us five stars. Tell them you're following instructions, following directions.

It doesn't matter what you say. It's really just for business. It's not for our egos. We don't need to read wonderful things about us. But if you want to say nice things, go ahead. Do your thing there. Also, go to shutupandgivememurder.com. over there and uh do all the things that you can do over there buy some merchandise if you want there's t-shirts and mugs and bath mats and all sorts of crazy shit

leggings coming out soon uh ringtones are coming out soon and text alerts and all that type of shit so uh keep up on social media uh which you can follow our social media right there from the page i believe you can follow our social media we are at crime and sports on twitter and at crime and sports on facebook obviously and uh at small town murder on instagram but we post that shit on there and uh yeah get on there and uh we find updates for all of that. Tickets also on the website to live shows. We'll be live here. We'll be doing a live small town murder in Seattle on January 25th

and February 21st in West Palm Beach, Florida at the Improv down there. Get your tickets now. Also, we're going to announce more dates a little bit later on. We will have a few live crime and sports next year. Yes. We fucking promise you that. Still coming. They're coming. We will not go a a few live crime and sports next year yes we fucking promise you that

uh we will come in they're coming we will not go a year without live crime and sports they're going to be i believe we're going to have one possibly in nashville yeah that we've talked about and then revisit that this week we're going to revisit that now that's true we'll figure out that and then we have a couple other places we want to hit up that were really really seemed like they were crime and sports heavy fans. Minnesota really enjoyed it. Minnesota, Cincinnati was into it a lot. And there's a few other cities there, possibly Dallas, maybe a few places like that. You guys got to buy tickets.

But you'd have to just buy tickets. That's the catch. Yeah. But yeah, get tickets to those shows over there. Do that. If you want to be a supporter of the show uh one of our producers one of our people that we pretty much just worship and love and uh we can't say enough goddamn nice things about and we'd never do a terrible episode about because we love them uh you can do that very easily through the website

also or just head over to patreon.com slash crime and sports or head over to paypal use our email address which is crime in sports at gmail.com That's also another way to get a hold of us if you want to suggest athletes or say hi or do whatever the hell you want to do there. We don't care. Tell us we're assholes. People tend to do that sometimes. We don't mind at all.

You can tell us we're assholes all you want. That's fine. We don't have shout-outs right now because Jimmy had a thruster problem. It's on the plane, not in his own equipment, so don't worry about him there. There will be shout-outs on Thursday's show on Small Town Murder,

so if you don't listen to Small Town Murder, then you're not going to hear your name this week, and we severely apologize for that. Sorry, but just listen to the last five minutes of Small Town Murder, and you can hear that. You'll hear it. You can hear that if you want. It'll be there.

Jimmy will fuck your name up. Don't worry. He'll fuck it up. I'll go,'ll fuck it up i'll go huh and then he'll go i don't fucking know and then we'll move on so do all of that shit and what if they want to get a hold of you personally jimmy and tell you what an asshole you are how can they do that you can find me at wisman sucks w-h-i-s-m-a-n sucks on twitter instagram and snapchat and uh yeah that's where i'm at that's where you'm at. I don't know. That's where you can find me. The thruster is not the only thing malfunctioning today.

It's a goddamn brains. Where can they find you? At Jimmy P is funny. Find me there. Just copy and paste my last name from the show description because it's a fucking mess and you're not going to get it right. So like we said, no show next week. Christmas Day. Enjoy your goddamn families. And if you don't celebrate Christmas, I don't know. Just don't have a crime in sports. mess and you're not going to get it right uh so like we said no show next week christmas day

enjoy your goddamn families and you know if you don't celebrate christmas i don't know just don't have a crime in sports i don't know what the fuck to tell you but uh enjoy your day enjoy your day shit yeah everyone else will be inside you can go fucking do things enjoy shit that'd be great it's like it's like if you grow up in new york and you're not jewish and you get the jewish holidays off from school is fucking great it's like what is it I don't even know what the fuck that is. Awesome. Great. That's it. Oh, shit. A couple of my friends can't hang out. They got shit to do. But other than that, it's fucking, you know,

who cares? I don't have to do anything. I don't have to do anything. All right. Great. But yeah, other than that, check us out in the new year. Like we said, if you listen on the podcast, one app find another place to listen because we are going to be moving along on another network, much better thing. And like we said, 52 episodes of Crime and Sports next year.

We're going to burn on both ends is what we're going to do. Burn the candle at both ends. Right. I have not slept in a long time. We've been doing that. That said, everybody, live from the Crime and Sports studios, we will see you next week. Bye. In two weeks.

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