Crime in Sports - #157 - Arrest Bingo Card - The Acquittedness of Nile Ranger

Episode Date: April 16, 2019

This week, we take a look at a guy who got in trouble from a young age, and hasn't slowed down since. He was seemingly sheltered from consequences due to his soccer ability. To the point where teams sign him, the same week he's been arrested! And what has he been arrested for? Well... Armed robbery, assault, mischief, money laundering, drunk driving, sexual assault... That's some of them. There is simply too much to list. Let's just say that this one is way more crime than sports!! Be scouted by pro teams before you enter middle school, blow every chance, more than once, and fill out your arrest Bingo card with Nile Ranger!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. The Queen of the Courtroom is back. How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports! Yay! Yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed.

Thank you folks for joining us. We almost didn't make it. That's the most painful yay ever. Wow, we have had a rough one. It's been a rough one. We just got back from the Nashville Comedy Festival, which we did Sunday night. We did a live small town murder, which was amazing. Great crowd. Just an awesome time. We had a blast there. Zany's is a great club. If you're in that area, patronize Zany's.

For sure. It's good. Give them your business. And tell them we sent you and then give Lucy your love. That's right. She's the manager. She's cool shit. She's wonderful. So, yeah, we just got back.

Jimmy was stranded in the Dallas airport for over a day. Almost didn't get to the show. Got there an hour before the show. He was supposed to be there a day and a half before the show. That's the crazy part. He's like, I'll be there like noon the day before. I'm going to go watch the festival, James. I'm going to enjoy this shit.

Instead, Jimmy laid in airports watching flights be canceled before his very eyes. Watching my flights be canceled while other planes take off i'm like what the fuck is going on with your pilots flying them those are my pilot no now we have no pilot uh yeah we had that i had my flights delayed in houston not nearly as bad but for a while today so uh coming home coming home so yeah i'd rather have what i had than have that that was bad yeah i don't Gave me time to finish this episode, though, which was bad because we didn't have time before that. So welcome.

Welcome. Welcome. This is going to be insanity. We are absolutely exhausted and punchy. So these are always the best episodes. And I have to tell you, this is this episode is just as crazy as last week's. Really? Yeah.

Like Mitch Green was insane. And we've've people who normally don't listen to like boxing ones or stuff like that are saying holy shit that's the best episode ever because it's just so crazy and somehow we backed into another one this week this is i'm going to call him the british pac-man jones oh so that's what we're in for this week oh it's a brit and it's good stuff. Thank you, everybody, first of all, Little House Cleaning, for all of your iTunes reviews this week, or Purple Icon, Apple Podcast. They are always helpful. Please, if you have not done it yet, do that.

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got here so uh yeah so so we apologize we will have them up next week and at the end of small town murder we'll include every everybody's so if you want to hear that you listen to small town murders uh shout outs there uh but let's get into this because good shit. Do we have a mountain of crazy going on? Just a big British pile of insanity. We have Nile Ranger. Oh, do you know Nile Ranger is we've we've we've had our Brit. Our Brit friends recommend him for a while. Yeah.

Yeah. A lot of the it's Nile, not Niles, not Niles. Not a plural. No. Or Ranger or Rangers. He's Nile Ranger. He's a plural Nile. No. Or Ranger. Or Rangers. He's Nile Ranger. He's a single Nile and a single Ranger, this guy. And I'm going to call him the British Pac-Man Jones because he gets arrested and just in

the same type of way. A lot of craziness in the street and at his house and in clubs. He's just a nutcase, this guy. Never learns his lesson. And his timing. This guy, it's almost like he lived his life for a crime and sports episode like he knew it was going to be a thing like i had some sort of like thing with him we connected a kinship with this man and he said someday these two blokes in america are going

to make a show and they're going to need they're going to need comedic timing in this so i'm going to have to get arrested where the timing is amazing. Historical spacing is very important to him. It really is. He sees his life as a whole. That's the thing. He doesn't look at last week. He's like, well, how does this look as a script laid out? Yeah, like a timeline. Big timeline on his wall.

It's Nile Ranger. Where's the antagonist? Yeah, come on. He's a footballer, soccer player for the rest of for america the states but for the rest of the world he's a footballer i guess uh date of birth here he's born april 11th so just had a birthday 1991 oh he's young he's a young dude yeah he's super young uh he's from wood green in london in england obviously not ontario yeah he's a young dude. Yeah, he's super young. He's from Woodgreen in London, England, obviously, not Ontario. Yeah, he's a six foot two guy. He's a real athletic dude.

He's a striker in soccer. So he's born. Like I said, he's in from North London. He attended when he was a kid, Alexandra Park School, which the Brits do shit differently here with their schools a lot. This sounds like something that wouldn't work in America if we tried,

but over there it probably works. I'm not sure. Alexandra Park sounds like somewhere where there's a lot of fights. It sounds like it, but apparently it's,

they say here that it draws its students from a big geographical area. They're not just from one area. It's kind of like a magnet school does in different,

in different, in America and different places. Classica and different places they do that skillship it's weird no they take different it's based on like uh academics and not and they and they try to hear i don't know what it is they're all over they they uh they take kids there's kids there from and intentionally there's wealthy kids there and there's people from some of the poorest areas then they put them together mix it all up they mix it all up over there guarantee bullying yeah guarantee you're some bullying and physical and then like you know financial and political bullying so you're gonna get bullying from both sides some shit that's gonna fuck people up the rest of their lives that's right yes you'll push a kid around and he'll say i'll have my driver do this and then it's like what oh my cousin girl escape from jail stab you in the face well yeah that's that's kind of how i

feel like a lot of these goes here uh i guess there's a large percentage of kids there that speak uh different uh language than english too like it's above average here and uh a lot of a lot of poorer kids here and a good proportion of the kids have learning disabilities, too, and stuff like that. The school is involved with a National College for School Leadership Awards and all this type of shit they have. It's apparently a good school, but they try to mix everything up. And whenever they tried to do that here, it just didn't. Well, the theory behind it. It sounds like busing is what it sounds like.

And we know what happened here. Every white person left the city. That's what they did as far away as they could go. The theory behind it. This sounds like busing is what it sounds like. And we know what happened here. Every white person left the city. That's what they did as far away as they could go. I'm not sending my kids to school. Fucking black people, no. They're sending black kids to the kids? No. The kids from the south side are going there?

The south side is bad in every city. Detroit was the one where people really, that was like the one where people lost their fucking minds over that shit. It's a fascinating idea because it sounds in theory like somebody's sitting there discussing it we're gonna get everybody for with the best test scores to be here and they're like oh yeah from all the from all the really good neighborhoods no no no no from everywhere from everywhere they're like are you fucking mine that's the thing here is you can't mix these kids up here it's weird i don't know what the fuck it is with with over here where people can't be they just can't be assholes here that's what it is over over there things that work in theory i feel like work more because the people aren't intentionally fucking it up like they are here

they give it a chance here it's every good god if you're not from us if you are this is the truth if you don't think it's the truth you're a douchebag i don't know why you're listening you're wrong every fucking person here because because of this weird freedom thing we have in america which is fine freedom's great we all love freedom but this weird thing of like i'm free to be a fucking douchebag all the time to whoever i fucking please it's my right i'm just gonna be a fucking wrench in the program oh we have wrenches in the program whereas over there there are more mature society here it's everyone's in middle school we are a giant seventh fucking grade in this everybody i'm gonna be a dick i'm gonna be a troll on here right those are the worst people on earth yeah people with

and they get a bunch of followers because they quote unquote are funny on twitter they're douche they're the worst fucking people on earth just causing problems just just saying shit that they don't believe either yeah that's the other part you don't even fucking believe they're just alex jonesing it you're just making a fucking you're being a character right yeah but not a funny character just trying to be an asshole and gum up the works and have nothing real to say and have no real fucking talent either other than being a douchebag. I feel like over there, they're a little more like, come on, asshole. Like, you know, grow up with you.

It's a real like grow up. And they're like, oh, yeah, I guess I should grow up. I think it's just here. Everybody, no matter who they are, no matter how dumb they are, they all think they can be president and a rock star and a movie star at the same time. Oh, and play center field for the Yankees at the same time. Maybe in the offseason when they're playing quarterback for the Cowboys. You never know.

Depends on if the G20 summit's in town. That's true, too, because they might have to be there. That's what I mean. Whereas over there, you know you're not going to be the queen or the king because you didn't fall out of the right pussy. So it's not happening. So you're limited in what you're going to do. And so you're like, all right, fine're gonna do and so you're like all right fine i'm gonna be a fucking adult whereas here it's like i grew up thinking i could be all those things that obviously i can't because i'm a dumb fuck yeah and instead here i am and

it's amazing that god damn it as much as i've been just life has humiliated me forever how come those people have never had the or how are they too blind to see it? That's what I mean. How do you not know that you're a fucking worthless scumbag? How don't you know it? How don't you know it? Yes. I don't understand it. Look at your fucking bank account.

You're worthless. Everything. Yeah. Just everything. Look at your fucking life. You leased a couch. How do you have an opinion on anything? Yeah.

If you rent anything inside your home, you're doing it wrong. Stop it. You're fucking doing it wrong stop it fucking doing it wrong don't you don't have the opportunity to be mean to anybody i feel like if you tried to do that in england they go come on mate right that's not a good idea you missed your payment mike you're gonna be really on the floor in the end it's just you know you don't want that whereas here we'd have somebody selling someone how great it is to rent a fucking couch with 700 interest it's amazing this is going to be a 14 000 ikea couch in the end you're going to love it it's going to be great if you lose your job and don't pay me 20 next month sitting on the floor sit your fat ass next to the stains your kids made after you've paid seven thousand dollars for a couch

you don't own jesus Christ. You will never have equity in this couch as long as you live. Wow, alright, that was quite the tangent. Sorry. When you crisscross America like we've been doing, you just hate everybody here. I'm sure if we went to any other country, we'd hate them too, but

we're crossing the states, and so we hate all of you, fellow countrymen. And I tend to, like, I see things. Unless you're at our live shows. Those people are amazing. They're fantastic. But I see people and their behavior in public, and I just judge the fuck out of them. You can't.

You can't not. How do you do that? How do you just be that? How? Without even the thought. That's the thing. Not even a thought. Just keep walking.

Wander through life. What the fuck are you doing? So I feel like I know it's probably not, but even just watching, like you watch a British reality show. They're just more mature people. Watch the Great British Baking Show. When you watch the Great British Baking Show, it's a competition with like 20 people baking. And here they'd be like sabotaging each other.

Every time they talk to someone individually, they'd be talking shit about somebody else, thinking about strategy of how to fuck somebody over. Over there, they're helping each other every time they talk to someone individually they'd be talking shit about somebody else thinking about strategy of how to fuck somebody over over there they're helping each other they're like oh that's a really good one i hope you do oh you ran out of flour i have some flour here they're helping each other oh she did a really good cake i'm glad she's got to go and i'm it's okay that i'm out because my cake wasn't as good and they fucking walk away you're like what the fuck right over here they would be stabbing each other with fucking with the the icing spreading knives it'd be it would be a disaster one of them's naked for no reason just to get just have everybody keep that person on there'd be music

because there'd be all this confrontation of it's they're making cakes why is your dick out you're making a layer you're making crepes get the fuck out of here it's weird so anyway uh he she's back to nile ranger here sorry about that that was a sidetrack it was good it was good though uh he begins his football career uh at a at crystal palace football academy uh and then he was at their development center apparently a very young age like pre-11 he was at their development center, apparently a very young age, like pre-11. He was learning soccer. He's kind of a, not a prodigy, but kind of kid that they could tell right away, a talent. He understood it. He understood it.

Yeah. So it's like their Crystal Palace is currently in the Premier League, I think. But this was like they're one of their under, you know, they have development teams for kids and all that. I think I was watching them play this weekend. Maybe. Yeah. Possible. It's Manchester City. I and all that. I think I was watching them play this weekend. Maybe. Yeah. Possible.

It's Manchester City. I don't know. I think that's true. It's CP. That makes sense. That would be Crystal Palace. I'm sure there's other CPs. Yeah, that's a good point. They got five, ten thousand fucking teams.

I'm trying to think of C names. Cardiff is a team, but there's no P there. There's no P. It could have been them. It could have been Crystal Palace. If they're light blue, it's them. I think they are light blue, actually. It's them.

It could have been them. It could have been Crystal Puppets. If they're light blue, it's them. I think they are light blue, actually. It's them. So he was also with the Pro Tech Football Development School for a few weeks before Southampton scouts him, which is another team. The Pro Tech Football Academy is the UK's leading provider of soccer training and elite teams ranging from 7 to 14 years old.

So it's kids. They offer the chance, it says, of its players being seen by some of the leading professional clubs recruiting for academy football. This is like a central clearinghouse where these guys can go and buy children, basically, for their future soccer team. It's weird.

What's that kid? 7 to 12? What is he, 9? Let's grab him. What? The kid's fucking 9. He doesn't even know what, like, the only food he likes is macaroni and cheese, they're gonna take him it's weird you're gonna

try to guide him through life so strange so yeah that that's a weird thing but like i said maybe they're a little more mature there yeah that's also i'll bet you're probably right i think it's a maturity level 17 at that point compared to here yeah i think so so uh yeah they said that they're they have uh current and ex-professionals that provide the highest level of coaching available to this kid. And I think he's here around 10 years old, I want to say. Okay, Grace. He's in the fourth grade, Grace. He's like meth for his 11th birthday or something.

Grace, this is it right here. Not bad, right? Pretty solid. This is good stuff. We have a pre-teen Grace, everybody. This might be a first. I think this is a first. I don't think we've had a pre-teen Grace.

And also, by the way, he's 10. I wonder if he knew it's as good as it's going to get. It's 2001. September 11th is about to happen. This is the best time of his life he's loving it running around scoring goals feeling great about himself so uh now 2007 comes along he's about 15 at this point he uh apparently he mixed with a young out a lot of older kids uh because he's a physically mature dude that's what happens too if you're physically

mature if you're if you're tall like i was a tall person like blend in yeah i hung out with i always my friends were always two years older than me because i was tall easily yeah when you're a kid that's how it works so he ends up hanging out with an older group around his neighborhood also in addition to doing football and uh by 2007 he has convictions for both burglary and handling stolen goods. Holy shit. At 15. Then it gets worse for him. And this is just, we're at the top of the mountain and we're like Clark Griswold in

Christmas Vacation. We are putting Crisco or whatever that fucking industrial lubricant he put all that he invented all over the bottom of that thing. They clean the space shuttle with it or some shit like that. We are about to fly down a mountain at the speed of light in terms of crime very little sports in this one we'll say very little barely mentioned sports i promise you you don't need to uh he is convicted at 15 years old uh in uh apparently in muswell, Muswell, Muswell Hill in London, he is convicted of participating in street robberies like muggings. Yeah, he's fucking like sticking people up.

Yeah, 15 like him and a bunch of the neighborhood kids were like, you know, robbing people on the street. Ridiculous. And it was it was armed robbery. It was it was termed. And he is sentenced to 11 weeks in a young offenders institute for this. That's a pretty sweet deal. He actually gets jail time here at 15. 11 weeks, that's like a quarter of school.

Yeah, that's not bad. That's it for first quarter. Hey, cool. That's not bad. Over there too, in court, they just believe you it's weird and believe in you it's like you go to court and you have an excuse for something and if it's like whether they believe you or not if it's like a of like a semi-viable excuse like that's possible they just give you the benefit of the doubt i swear to christ i swear it's every case when i look at it in england they're just like well i mean he could have been doing that i mean that's

okay we can't convict him it's so weird where it's here it's like you will prove that you you give me your fucking dna and prove you weren't there or else you're just convicted of anything whereas there it's it's crazy it's weird they're just they have a much pretty awesome this is very an adult society well you never know is that what well you never know and you'll try harder yeah yeah that's great we couldn't do that 11 weeks everybody just fucking people going wild here with that shit uh so this is uh yeah he is uh he ends up there's clubs looking at him like we said too so it's like you know he's a kid and this doesn't look good this isn't a good look and crystal palace that's a professional team that's a big deal well this was i think uh uh south southampton was uh was he that's where he's playing they took him out when he went to protech to train southampton scouted

him there uh and he says nile says let's hear from old nile uh once he got out of jail in the first first time here about when he was a kid he said quote jail quote, JL was pretty rough, but it taught me a lot. The most important thing I learned is that I never want to go back. That's what he said about that. He fucks that up. He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to, but it draws him in. It's like a black hole to this guy.

Just sucking him in. So he returns to Southampton after he completes his sentence. But he is released eventually because he's a young shithead. He's a shithead. He can never be anywhere on time either. That's the other thing. He's always late for practice, for fucking court. He's just a late son of a bitch. So that's not a good

thing either. He's apparently offered a contract by Swindon Town after a trial, but then Newcastle ends up signing him. How about that? So yeah, he then newcastle ends up signing him how about that so uh yeah he joins newcastle and uh he says about that quote i remember i scored an overhead kick in a reserve game for swindon and afterwards my agent said let's go to burger king we sat down and he said listen you're going to newcastle tomorrow i was like no i am not i'm happy here and i want to get

a contract here they swindon offered me 300 pounds a week and I didn't even get to the pros at Southampton so I was only on 95 pounds a week at the time he said so Newcastle so so he said Newcastle wants you we were leaving tomorrow and uh you know we were going to do it we're going to drop your stuff off and then we're going to leave he said but I didn't want to do it so the next day I didn't do it and the next thing you know Dennis Wise who was another player said it was on the phone saying are you a fucking maniac you don't want to come to newcastle and give it a go it'd be like you're in the minors and they're like hey we need you you know we're calling you up to play left field today and you're like nah i'm gonna stay in fucking double a dayton just called i gotta go

play in dayton i'm pretty happy in double a right now actually i got friends down here it's not high school but he's a kid that's the thing when a kid is fucking 16 he's like i'm comfortable here you know what do they know they talk about the tigers no listen yeah i've got things to do in dayton did you hear what i just said yeah dayton dayton do you understand what that columbus do you hear me i'm going to Rochester. It's very important. So he says, quote, I was living with Sean Morrison, who's the captain at Cardiff now. And I said, what do you think? And he was like, you should go for it, bro. So he goes for it. He goes to Newcastle, who are the magpies.

That's their name there. Yes. He makes his debut against a bird, right? I believe it was. Yeah. Yeah. He makes his debut against... That's a bird, right? I believe it was. Yeah, yeah. He makes his debut. I believe it is. Sounds like a species of fruit fly.

It sounds like part of a dead goat. You know what I mean? Can you pass the magpie? He's all rotted out except for the magpie. It's weird. It sounds gross. He's all rotted out. for that so uh august 23rd 2008 he makes his debut uh for the reserve team uh and uh there and then he makes uh that was a yeah he

does the academy debut was in 2008 and then september of 2008 the next month he makes his reserve team debut there uh they said that he was very he was really good he finished in the under 18 league or whatever he finished with 15 goals and seven for the reserve team also uh he won the jesus christ that he won the war wor jackieburn Trophy in 2009. It's an acronym, huh? No, no. It's just W-O-R, capital W, a lowercase O-R. So, WAR, Jackie.

I think it's a guy's name, maybe. I don't know. What the fuck? Is that a British title? Yeah. I'm not sure. He's the War of Wales. I don't know.

W-O-R. It's very strange. They're very weird. They also put O-U-R and shit. So, maybe that's how you spell warlord there. I don't know. W-O-R. It's very strange. They're very weird. They also put O-U-R in shit. So maybe that's how you spell warlord there. I don't know. War Jackie Milburn Trophy, which I guess it sounds like a man who killed Jackie Milburn and now they named it Trophy.

There's no period there? No. Nothing. Just W-O-R. Jackie Milburn Trophy. I don't know what that is. That's it. So he wins that.

I assume it's for a good reserve or something of that nature. So then he gets a new and improved, more money, a three-and-a-half-year contract from Newcastle. So he's not even fucking 20 yet. He's like 18 years old, 17 years old, and he's already doing some shit here. He makes his debut for the international play for the 19-and- under team for England in 2009 against

the Czech Republic. He got his first goal in the second match against Bosnia and Herzegovina. Yeah. Oh, that's a good country. Too long of a name. Pick one of those names and go with it. It's too many. And that second one sucks.

So let's just stick with the first one. I think they did now. I think they got rid of that shit now. But back to soccer here. Regular soccer. They did now. I think I got rid of that shit now. But back to soccer here.

Regular soccer. He makes a senior start, which I think is for the team. See, this is what I mean. I'm not familiar with the terms. And you guys like us fucking scrambling trying to figure it out. Because I look up a bunch of different terms, but there's always a few that fall by the wayside. We're like, what the fuck does that even mean anyway? I like that we try to make it up and try to figure it out. We're right most of the time that's the weird part and when we're wrong it's still my favorite it's

kind of funny because it makes the show better i love when we're the complete opposite of what exactly no idea what we're talking about that's my favorite so fuck you cricket yeah i'm gonna say uh that senior is there uh he played uh in this game his first match, his first start August 31st. He won Man of the Match Award. Played over 84 minutes, which is a shitload. I mean, in basketball, if a guy's playing 40 minutes a night, that's brutal. It's crazy. That's crazy. And they're running back and forth.

That was the thing that I did notice watching that game in the Dallas airport was that they are so fucking handsome. The game's almost over and they their hair is still perfect yeah there's not a beat of sweat on these fuckers and and they they're not even out of breath all they do is run and all they were doing is running it is all cardio that's what it is but how do they how are they not how are they not breathing hard at least that's true that's true they're just running and then they stop and they're just like basket stand there basketball i didn't take into effect that no one's trying to post up on you, and it's not quite the same.

You don't have a six-foot-eight man driving his fucking elbow into your sternum 45 times a goddamn game. If they touch you, you get to free kick. So it's a different sport entirely. It's a different, there's a little more, there's more of a burst, I think, and it's a different sport. But still, I'm impressed with the cardio, just watching him run back and forth, because I'm very tired.

What do they use on their hair? Cause it's fucking perfect. And they all just have a wet look that goes with sweat. Maybe. I don't know. That's what I see. They all have like, I don't know.

Their hair is fucking incredible. It is pretty incredible. Not a beat of sweat. And their faces aren't even like pink. No, they're not even overheated. It's all they're doing. It's all they've ever done is run back and forth.

I'm a soccer ball. I look worse. I looked worse. Since they were eight. I looked worse than them running from gate to gate in the airport. Get you on a soccer field, you'd be dead in four minutes. You'd just be fucking on your face. Chalk outline

Jimmy Westman in two seconds. Some pale Brit looking at me going, why is he so red, Mike? Come get him. Wet. Red. Now he's really pale. He was red. Now there's no Mike? Come get him. Red now, he's really pale. He was red. Now there's no color at all. He went from red to blue to really pale. I don't think. That's bad, right?

Blue's bad for a person? Okay, yeah. We should help him. He's fucked. This American's in trouble. Oh, man. He got a standing ovation from the crowd when he got substituted for when he came off. Because it was his first start and he did really well.

So they respected him for that, which I mean, if a rookie pitches a good game in baseball, it's his first game and he throws a good game, he'll get a standing O when he comes off. Yeah, but the difference is like when the pitcher's pitching, he's standing right there. You see what he's doing. That's true.

When you're in the crowd, there's fucking 18 dudes on the field. You don't know which is which. The field is the size of a goddamn... It's a goddamn it's like a full international airport runway they're just running back and forth new binoculars that's all we've seen new binoculars to look out there who's that down there and he's done well enough with all of that going on to get a standing ovation what do i i i think a black guy's got the ball. I think. I'm not sure.

I can't tell from here, honestly. I think that one of the black guys has it. Oh, no, now a white guy. I see hair flowing. That's probably a white guy. I don't know what's happening. So he scored his first senior goal against Coventry City on December 9th. Substituting.

He didn't start that day. So yeah, he plays against Crystal Palace and scores a couple of goals. So he does pretty well. January 2010, Newcastle was promoted to the Premier League because if you haven't listened to old soccer episodes and you're American, yeah. It actually, there's different tiers. It would be like in america if the the in the states if if yeah like basketball teams

drop to the d league and different d league teams went into the nba like you know triple a teams came up and the diamondbacks get kicked back back down in triple a casual nfl fans are like why the lightning what is the what is that what is it where's the browns where'd they go no they're gone this year they're only they were 2 and 14 last year they're out sorry that's what happened cornell's back coaching this i don't have to tell you they're out they're shit jacksonville hasn't been up in years so uh yeah he talks about here playing with a guy named andy carroll who's one of these guys who he's a real handsome long-haired yes uh dude i'm so jealous very handsome long hair his hair's got product in it and shit he's one of these dudes i don't know

but i bet you anything he does like hair commercials yeah he's got shampoo and shit over there like he's like the palomalu of fucking england uh but uh he said they were on the team at the same time ranger was 18 and Carroll was 20. And everybody talks about what a big partier Niall is and how crazy he is. And later on, Niall says, actually, Andy Carroll's way crazier than me. He's a fucking lunatic. He just looks like a good guy. So nobody gives him shit because he's all pretty and shit.

So Niall's a hideous man? No, no, not at all. No, no. He's a black dude with braids and it seems like a handsome dude real athletic and shit it's just i think that this guy's got the hair and he's like you know that sort of you know fucking thing where i'm sure i'm sure that uh women like this dude okay uh he said they both partied a lot though he he actually says that uh that andy carroll is worse he said quote andy is a lunatic but he gets the job done. He flip and scores them goals, and he's a presence when he's on the pitch.

He does his job. I think Andy is worse than me, to be fair, when it comes to partying. Andy is definitely worse than me, but he's a good bloke, though. I'd give it to him. He's got banter. He's a good guy. I don't know what that means. He can talk?

Yeah, yeah. You can talk to him. He's a funny dude. He's he's a funny dude he's a good bloke yeah he's a good fella here's the other part uh translated into fucking new york you're fucking 19 you shouldn't have uh 18 actually your age you shouldn't have a partying reputation over there that's legal drinking is it really what am i doing right now it's crazy yeah did i not know that because i knew that right that's the fucked up thing is they handle it. Yeah.

It's fucked up. Kids are like 17 and they just have a pint. Really? Yeah, because they're fucking allowed to. So it's not this giant crazy thing where they're like, I got to sneak in the back and do a keg stand till I fucking fall over because otherwise I can't do it. In England, that's legal. Absolutely.

Son of a bitch. In England, 18 year old kids go to the bar. Watch the in-betweeners. You know this shit. That England, that's legal. Absolutely. Son of a bitch. In England, 18-year-old kids go to the bar. Watch the in-betweeners. You know this shit. That's the only thing I know about. Maybe I should watch something other than, I don't know, whatever the fuck I watch. Like, stuff with my kids. Like, Good Girls on Netflix.

That's the shit I watch. And it's not even real. All of my British culture comes from, like, three things. So it's, like, modern. It's, like, in-betweeners. The Great British Baking Company or Break Off or whatever the fuck it is. We've watched every season. I don't even remember what it is. comes from like three things so it's like modern it's like in betweeners uh great british baking company or break off or whatever the fuck it is we've watched every season i don't even remember what it is now i love that indian dude he's hilarious by the way in one of the late seasons

no no no no no that guy's fucking awesome and then gordon ramsay and uh well that too gordon ramsay all the the kitchen nightmares the uk ones are great and uh what's the other thing i fucking watch the real office no I fucking hate The Office. I hate both offices. Really? That is the most unfunny shit I've ever seen in my life. They sit there. They made Ricky Gervais a billion dollars.

They sit there and say things that aren't funny, and then they just sit there stone-faced, and now it's supposed to be funny? No! Larry. You have to say something funny and then do that, cocksucker. Now, I'm told sarah that it's my fault because i don't work in an office i've never really worked in an office i think that's what it is she's like believe me it's funny you just don't understand it because you didn't work in an office

and i go all right i'll give it the benefit of the doubt maybe not because the point of the show is essentially just that they say outlandish ridiculous things that aren't even acceptable and the person in charge of the office says the worst things and today like that show wouldn't be it would and then they just stare at each other yeah he says like horrible things about black people he's just he's completely inappropriate and uh that's the point of the show really is that the bosses shouldn't be the boss you're everybody that's brilliant that's i don't know what i've been thinking jesus that sounds like fucking brilliant comedic genius what am i thinking what the fuck steve corral ought to be ashamed of himself for that thing sports is canceled we can't live up to that

nah pushing the mic away i'm fucking done it's canceled just be inappropriate james i don't like black people and And I stare at you. Is that funny? No, it's not. No, you got to say they're true or something. Oh, it's got to be something. Okay. Yeah. Something just completely stupid.

I don't even have it in me. Now, Niall here has a lot of stupid tattoos. He's got tattoos all over him, which is fine. He's got him on his neck and shit, which is getting into the weirdness. And he's got one up the side of his face. Yes. He's got them on his neck and shit, which is getting into the weirdness. And he's got one up the side of his face. Yes, he's Wiz Khalifa. On his temple over his eye there that says Ranger.

His last name? His fucking last name. Oh, and when he pulls his lower lip down, he's got a smiley face tattooed on the inside of his lower lip. He's an asshole. So when he pulls it down, it's an upside down smiley face

that's then right side up. So he's a dude. And like half his pictures are him pulling his lip down that's like that's his photo pose taylor swift is soaring high her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans she's broken billboard records and made grammys history not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process but along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun,

and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show Business Wars. We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time. And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from SmartList Media.

Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'd learn that that's the sciency term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink roller coaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. We'll talk. He gets in trouble with photos. He should not be on Instagram or Twitter. Instagram and Twitter has gotten him in so much fucking trouble because he's an idiot. Because he's always shit-faced and he's just posting things.

He's like if Trump played soccer. He's just fucking tweeting shit out because it's like four in the morning and he's tired and grumpy. And that's like, I feel like saying this today. And then tomorrow it's different. It's the same thing like this guy. He'll tweet something out. I don't know what I was thinking tweeting that. I think I was drunk.

But yeah. Anyway, if Trump was drunk, at least that's an excuse. That'd be so much better. That'd be an excuse for crazy tweets. I'd sit up waiting on bar clothes for him to fucking be posting. This is interesting. Now, December 3rd, 2010, Nile here signs a five and a half year contract, which keeps him with Newcastle till 2016. Think that's going to hold?

No, it definitely doesn't hold here. So I'm looking at these stats here. It's so hard for me to read stats, so I'll burn through them quickly because I don't know shit. In 2009, 2010, for Newcastle it looks like he had uh two goals uh he had 25 appearances and two goals okay okay uh that's that's what i can that's what i find here that's not bad for him i don't know yeah and then in 2000 but there's two there's championship i don't understand this and then 2010 2011 in the premier league because the newcastle went up to the premier league the next year he had 24 appearances and no goals oh that's

not good at all that's not good when league cup play he had one goal i don't know if league cup and fa i know what fa cup is what the fuck is league cup maybe that's the qualifying to get to what is that i don't know it's two he had three appearances in league cup so it sounds like a little tournament of some kind it sounds like lower than fa cup god i thought i had something figured out fuck i don't know what that is god damn it soccer why are you so fucking confusing i don't you got a ball and a goal and you changed you have so much shit involved i don't get it at least it's not fucking cricket jimmy because we mind, I could not, I got my head around 90. This is just FA Cup and League Cup.

That I understand. But cricket, I didn't understand. I still don't know what the goal of that game is. I have no idea. And I've done multiple episodes and researched and read. And I have no fucking clue. But as soon as that is, I don't know. Cricket had to be invented before baseball.

I believe so. Yeah, because it was based on that. Right. As soon as they saw baseball, they should have been like, oh, clearly we're doing it. Oh, Jesus. That's so much better. This is way better. I will say that.

Don't do a lot of like, hey, we're better than you. Baseball. Oh, God, Jesus. It's better. It's not even close. It's just better. It's very, very similar to like the long toilet versus the short toilet. As soon as we made the long toilet, why do we even create that anymore?

What's going on? There's no reason to have that. What's happening? Clearly, this is the way that this is supposed to be made yeah uh well speaking of twitter yeah uh let's uh 2011 may of 2011 niall for some reason posts a picture of himself with a gun in front of his face no uh it's a replica gun but it looks it looks super real i mean you would not know it's a replica it's only because he said it was a replica that you know that it's a replica. I don't understand replicas there. It's very, very

real. It's a silver. It's silver, too. Like, it's a metal. It looks like a fucking gun. It's fucking identical to a gun. Except for if you watch Snatched, it says replica, right? Yeah, you can't see that when he's back standing there trying to look like a badass. And they said, quote, the club have spoken to Nile and

confirmed that the item shown in the photograph is a replica firearm, which is not an offense to own because you can own that as long as it doesn't shoot. Niall regrets posing for the photograph, which was taken by his girlfriend at home. The club will be speaking with the player this week about the importance of being a positive role model to young fans. That's very mature. Yeah. It's just a very i love it's beautiful why would you take a picture with a replica gun i don't know because you're 20 and you're an idiot you're dumb and you shouldn't be in the public light when you're fucking 20 and you're probably drunk with your girlfriend and she said oh yeah click and then they post it if i take

a picture they won't know that it's fake yeah yeah and the next morning he was like oh shit do we post that fuck boy that was dumb damn it when he's got the press calling him. I've got so many texts. Jesus, this is crazy. So May 2011, that is. August 2011, he is arrested on suspicion of beating the living shit out of a couple of guys outside of a nightclub. He is apparently, there's an assault by the Grote Market in Newcastle. And apparently this was soccer fans were fucking with him.

And the problem also is while two cops were trying to subdue Nile, he ended up injuring the two police officers as well as he was being taken away for questioning. That is not okay. No, that's when shit goes bad. They found the guy he pit was a 33-year-old man who was unconscious with a broken jaw outside. Oh, shit. A Cozy Joe's bar, this was. The police were called to the scene for an assault report here.

It's 1.30 in the morning. Niall had left the scene by then, and they had to go chase him down and find him, and that's when this happened. The police said that the man was beaten pretty bad. The two cops suffered minor injuries described as abrasions during the arrest, and so he's also, they want to question him in regard to that, obviously. And the police spokeswoman said, quote,

police are appealing for witnesses following an assault outside cozy joe's pub and groat market in newcastle center it happened at 1 30 a.m saturday when police were called after a 33 year old man was assaulted when police arrived the injured man was unconscious and was taken to royal victoria infirmary suffering from bruising and swelling to his face that's so mature to say that's very mature for the police spokeswoman here. They'd be like, we drugged the guy away. The other guy was knocked out on the ground.

He's over at the hospital. Any questions? He obviously is at the hospital where you fucking think we took him. He was fucking unconscious. They're wiring his jar. Some shit assholes. Come on next. It's like,

what? That's how we'd be doing it. So he, I guess he takes off and they did a search of the area the police and then they ended up finding him niall a short while later in a bar in a bar yeah he just went to another bar it's like i'm sure they gave up by now it's fine uh fucking insanity uh and suspicious of suspicions of assault is what he's uh being held under the team says quote i very rare this is like the president

of the team i think i very rarely shut the door on anybody but niall needs to understand the responsibilities of being a professional footballer uh that's all he needs to understand it's not just about what happens on the field and he's learning that lesson sometimes you can find a player and find a player for being late and it just does not get through. Yeah, that's true. This is, by the way, soccer is the silverest of all sports. Fuck yeah. The silverest. I mean, we saw Bruno De Souza killed his girlfriend, fed her to dogs, and a team was like, can we sign him?

Can we get him out of jail tomorrow? Our goaltender is not doing well right now, so if we can get him, we'll sign him. We don't give a shit. Just hide your girlfriend. He's really good. Yeah, he's real good. Like like that's how fucking crazy soccer is you saw marlon king kept getting signed it's you know nuts yeah it's it's crazy here this they keep taking this guy and every time it's like he needs to learn a lesson he needs to this guy needs to learn but they just keep saying that every time they don't ever say we've had it now enough yeah

like as a league even is the nfl more lucrative than soccer is worldwide it can't be right i i don't think worldwide worldwide soccer is huge that's what i mean it's got when they do there's fewer teams in the nfl that's why they're yeah that's why there's more money well also too we're a centralized it's one country that you can sell to over there it's all spread out so it's different it's but that's what i mean like each team is worth more but they're each team may be worth less but there's a shitload more teams i think the top 10 most valuable sports franchises like four of them are soccer teams okay yeah there's definitely and it's like the cowboys and the yankees and the lakers and the giants and you know there's definitely la and new york

markets and that's it now it makes sense yeah yeah worldwide money it's yeah basketball is the same way that's why the nba were like what's going on you know the attendance is down and like the ratings are down and shit they don't give a fuck because they're selling ad ads like crazy to china and the fucking yugoslavia they don't get they're like there are billions of people we don't give a shit about america the nba is like an action movie now yeah like we don't care if americans like it people at box office is gonna be crazy people who don't speak english need to understand it so it doesn't have to be clever just fucking put it out like that's that's what the movies are now drift let's go that's what the movies are every action movie you can't have like dialogue used to be a thing and like you know you can't have that now because if you don't speak

english it doesn't translate so it has to be like run to the center. Okay. And they write that translates. Dialogue needs to be, it is imperative to action so little that Sylvester Stallone can be a star. Exactly. Exactly. There you go.

Stallone. Nowadays he's killing and kicking himself in the ass. He's like, if I was only a star four years later, I could have sold all my movies to Asian, made a lot more money, Asia and made a lot more money. Could have made a lot more money. They would have loved Rambo over there. I could own Asia. They would have loved Rambo and Cobra.

They would have loved Cobra. Tell you what. Fucking Stallone. Embarrassing motherfucker. So much money. Oh, so much. So, yeah. So, he's fucked for that.

So, that is August 28th, 2011. Okay. September 11th, 2011. He's arrested for drunk driving. Oh, boy. He is just a fucking monster. Arrested for drunk driving. October 2011.

A month later, he's charged with being drunk and disorderly in Newcastle's Cathedral Square. He fucking loves to drink, this guy. cathedral square he fucking loves to drink this guy uh this is the chart he was suspended for uh he was uh dropped down to their first team uh for for all of his infractions they bring him back up it was uh uh days there's like four days after they bring him back up he gets arrested for drunk and disorderly uh conduct here uh he's questioned for more than four hours and will appear in court later on. Apparently, it occurred outside of the Tup Tup Palace nightclub, which is at the edge of the big market and diamond strip. Big with two G's. B-I-double-G.

So somebody owns it. Fucking with B-I-G. It ain't safe. I don't know. Shit's going on here. So they put two G's to make it safe. It's safer that way. So also in October of this year, he's arrested again for drunk driving again.

Jesus. He likes it. He likes to. You know what? He likes to drive and he likes to drink. So he's like, why can't I combine my two passions? I love them both. This is what I don't understand.

So much. Okay. I feel like it's counterproductive. Right. If you like two things, you bring them together. You always combine them. Macaroni cheese. They both rock.

It's amazing. Yeah. It's like peanut butter jelly. Bang. It's like fucking boom. Togetherness. Insta classic. Drink, drive.

Fucking Yahtzee. I love it. It's fun. Let's go. It's just's just he's just having a good time doing it he can't understand why everyone's freaking out feel how good you feel behind the wheel of a car with your fucking head all bubbly hell yes pedal down lean him back uh yeah he ends up pleading guilty to this charge and given a 3300 pound fine and a 12 month driving ban which he of course does not follow no whatsoever because he's an asshole uh so uh 2011 2012 he makes zero premier league

appearances that year uh because you know he's kind of a fucking mess uh 2011 2012 though he's loaned to two different teams i love this plan so you can loan a guy out. So good. Yeah. So he's loaned to both Barnsley and Sheffield Wednesday. That doesn't sound good at all. Sheffield Wednesday sounds comically British. That sounds ridiculous. That sounds like a foppish man dressed in a big, like a big, silly, overly done up military outfit. I'm Sheffield Wednesday.

And he's like the Captain Kangaroo of England Sheffield Wednesday it sounds like a pretentious sidewalk cafe that isn't open after 2pm no no 2pm it's a tea room we're done it's just a breakfast and tea room we're fucking going home Sheffield Wednesday

I feel like that's their Captain Kangaroo he's dressed the same he's got puppets and shit welcome to Sheffield Wednesdays. There's a song and there's puppets dancing. They all got goofy names. Maybe it is. I don't know. It could be a show for all I fucking know.

So, yeah, he plays for these two teams. He makes five appearances for Barnsley on loan. Gets no goals out of that. For Sheffield Wednesday, though uh he shows up there this is in league one uh he shows up there with his dancing puppets and they distract the other players and he gets two goals in eight appearances great so good for him uh good for him here uh on november 21st 2011 he uh he that's when they loaned him out to Barnsley until the 14th, and then he ended up going from there to Sheffield Wednesday.

He hurt his foot in 2011. Just call it Sheffield. No. You call Captain Kangaroo Catton? He's Captain Kangaroo. Don't call Mr. Rogers Mr. Call Colonel Sanders Colonel? No.

Kind of, but you call it Colonel Sanders. Yeah, that Sanders in there. Qualify that shit. I don't know which Colonel we're talking about. Which Mr. Call Colonel Sanders Colonel? No. Kind of, but you call it Colonel Sanders. Yeah, that Sanders in there. Qualify that shit. Gotta know which Colonel we're talking about. Which Sheffield? Not Gary? Wednesday. Could be the mouth of the South Jimmy Hart, you know.

So, Sheffield Wednesday. You know who it is. So, he's returned to Newcastle once he hurts himself, and then once he heals up, they throw him to Sheffield Wednesday, and they bring him back. That's a stupid fucking him to Sheffield Wednesday. And they bring him back. Stupid fucking name. Sheffield Wednesday. God, that's so bad. Maybe that's like they're like one of the British Addams Family kids.

This is Sheffield Wednesday rather than whatever. She was Wednesday also, wasn't she? Wednesday, yeah, yeah. It's so dumb. It's so goddamn weird. It's a bowl cut and everything, but maybe with like a Buckingham Palace guard hat on, but like acting goofy, like it's always crooked. You know what I mean?

The strap just askew. He holds a little strap while he dances so it doesn't fall off. You know what I mean? Back and forth. What am I talking about? It's all ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. So that's how little we know.

what am i talking it's all ridiculous it's so ridiculous so that's how little we know so march 2012 uh uh he is fined by the fa for making homophobic comments on twitter what did he say okay we cannot find what he said for some reason because it was down very quickly because he wasn't the only one apparently there's a few players going back and forth fucking with each other and that was the that was the point of the whole thing uh uh we uh one of the guys was fined 24 000 pounds oh he said something bad for the no i'll tell you what that guy said in a second here uh uh and then um uh niall was fined 9 500 pounds and a guy named dan or manny smith was fined 1900 pounds i guess they're different varying degrees here uh for uh there and also ravel or ravel morrison of west ham was uh fined eleven thousand five hundred dollars for an earlier homophobic tweet he made uh there so they

said uh they uh they said the fa said they've warned these people and they've told them that that uh you know abusive or insulting language here referencing a person's sexual orientation won't be tolerated by the league uh apparently uh somebody somebody replied to one of the guy's tweets macheta uh this guy macheta uh somebody replied to one of his tweets to which he replied with like eight h's you stupid little gay which is a that's not even a good one i thought they were mature no no that's a really bad that's a terrible that's i mean they find him like they find him like that's immature yeah it's just immature mate grow up and that's what they talk about later they say that it's not you know it's's just not fucking, it's just immature.

They keep saying it. It's just not reflective of how we want to do business. It's just very interesting. Getting fined over it means that it's definitely not the first occasion. Like that kind of fine, a 24,000 pound fine, that's a steep one. They have a very zero tolerance to it. That's how homophobic this fuck is. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's incredible. I mean, you stupid little gay. That's obviously not nice or good, but I mean, it's not... I thought it would be like a threatening thing for that kind of thing. It's not really much of a homophobic tweet. Yeah, it sort of is. You stupid little happy. Yeah, that's what I mean.

It could be anything at that point. You're not really... But then we're being American. He's being a dick. You're right. See, we're trying to find the troll aspect of it, can't do it see that's what happens over there they went stop being a dick and he went you're right and he paid the money and that was it and the story you're right it's a bad tweet yeah over here be like i meant happy and shut up we've got to have

a big hearing over it right because he meant happy uh break out a thesaurus in court. Yeah, that's perfect. Jesus Christ. So September 23rd, 2012, police are called again, obviously, to a house. This is an Enfield in North London. There's reports of a disturbance. The front door of the property was badly damaged there, and Ranger was arrested at the scene and charged with criminal damage. His girlfriend, Shakira Bakar, she called the police thinking someone was breaking into her house. That's what it was. And it was him smashing the

front door off the hinges, causing 2,500 pounds worth of damage. Holy shit! He blew the fucking door off the hinges. Yes, he does offer to pay for that later. Now, his lawyer, his defense lawyer here said quote mr ranger was in a club when he was told by a friend there was a kidnap threat made to his girlfriend

this is what i mean all right and they go well i mean that's feasible listen to this play football uh that's i mean he could kick hard yeah so uh he's he's uh he's arrested charged with criminal damage like we said uh uh they take him questioning. We'll find out what happens about that in a second. But we don't have a lot of time for that because October 2012, he's got court for other shit. So we got to get into this. There's so much court. He never quits. He never quits.

Very little soccer. He leaves court to go fuck up. So many times he'll leave court and then three days later he's back in jail again. Or he just gets a new contract and then gets arrested two days later he's back in jail again or he like just gets a new contract and then gets arrested two days later like he keeps doing it he's a fucking you just want to go what in god's green twat is wrong with you what the fuck is your problem honestly what is your deal doing like why are you doing this it seemed anything good he just celebrates that and booze is clearly a problem for this yeah he parties like ben cousins

he's going on a rampage he's it's weird man gin up his ass yeah now he is found here not guilty of the 2011 uh knocking the guy out outside the nightclub really they find that he had a good reason he uh let's talk about this but uh he does admit to pushing officers uh that night also the attacking the officers he's cleared of uh of bodily harm on the two citizens but not on the officers uh it is reviewed on closed circuit television footage too they have the tapes of the guy you have the surveillance yeah of everything every london is a 100 percent fucking covered in cameras blank blanket it is every square inch of that place is on fucking film all the time so that you everything's on closed circuit camera

yeah uh so uh the prosecution they said that the that he act that the prosecution themselves ended up finding that he acted in self-defense after being confronted and racially abused by a group of guys. All right. Apparently, they came up and were like, oh, fuck you. You're a football. You're, you know, they were fucking with a soccer player. And who knows what happened?

Yeah, they made racial slurs, but he at least said they made racial slurs. And then, you know, that's a reason to knock somebody the fuck out. Plus, there was it was an even fight, too. There was two of them. And then Niall and then one of his friends was a two fight, too. There was two of them, and then Niall and one of his friends was in. It was a two-on-two thing. Beautiful. He didn't fucking beat the shit out of an old lady.

Some grown man came up and talked shit in his face, and he knocked him the fuck out. This goes right back to your wishes. Yeah, there you go. You asked for a fight, and you got one, dickhead. Don't fuck with a professional athlete, because they're probably in better shape than you. They'll fuck you up. Better twitch muscle reaction. They're going'll fuck you up better that you know twitch muscle reaction they're gonna fuck you up sorry dude like especially he's 21 years old who

runs for a living he's got stamina 21 year old pro athlete and you're a 33 year old schlub who just came from the bar going hey you're a shit football you fucking and then you yeah you're gonna get knocked out dummy you're gonna have a broken bone tonight sir and he's not five seven he's six two right muscular he's gonna beat the shit out of you so i don't know if he thought he the guy thought he could just talk shit and get away with it and they wouldn't you know he wouldn't do anything about it uh so uh but they said they did hear the court hears that later in the evening he pushed away the two officers when they finally found him causing the minor injuries uh the judge here, John Evans, said, quote, The picture that the court is presented with is very different to what that was, which was first contemplated.

The prosecution have had the opportunity of considering the closed circuit television footage, and it shows a different picture to what I first understood. I cannot know what happened that night. Only those involved know that after the confrontation, you delivered two pushes to the police officers who suffered limited injuries, is what he says. That's what the judge said. So he's going down a road of you're in trouble. So Niles, comma, S, his lawyer. Did I say comma?

Apostrophe. That's what happens when there's no sleep. Move it up from the bottom. One of those just up there. His lawyer jumped in and said, quote, he was subjected to verbal abuse by members of an extremely drunk group of men. The verbal abuse turned into racial abuse, and then he was physically attacked. He struck one blow to each of the two white males who attacked him, and then he took to his heels and ran away. He was approached by police officers shortly afterward.

He struggled with them when he should not have done as he was in a state of panic at the time they approached him. He apologizes for this conduct toward the officers. Wow. He one punch knocked out two dudes and broke a jaw. The one guy he knocked out and the other guy, he just, you know, he didn't knock him out and break his jaw. He just hit him. He just hit him.

And I'm, you know, a guy probably stopped talking at that point. I want this video. I would love to see. There's all sorts of videos of him doing crazy. Incredible. Yeah. I think you can find this out there somewhere. That's a good one.

Yeah. So he's convicted, though, of assaulting the police officers and he's given a conditional discharge uh so he it was pushing the police officers who went to uh question him but he's cleared of two counts of actual bodily harm uh there so uh he has to he's given a 12-month conditional discharge so i guess that's like a probation sort of thing and told he has to pay 750 pounds to each police officer that's nice for injuries or whatever sorry about those scratches yeah sorry fuck those dudes with broken jaws yeah fuck them all fuck them all man fuck them all don't you push my cops so november

2012 he has to go to court for the broken door okay for kicking his own door in because there was girlfriend's door in because he thought she was being kidnapped blew it out the fucking blew the frame out saying kicking a door in to me means like breaking that little latch you know what i mean he fucking blew it off the hinges like he had a police batter like a battering ram on the other side splinters out of this thing he's got a striker's leg which is just as fucking bad so uh it's it ends up being the charge ends up being dropped because the court accepts the explanation that he was fearing his girlfriend was being kidnapped wow they said that's reasonable that makes sense i mean no proof of it no nothing no even here they'd be like doesn't matter you should have called the police why do we call the police like where's your source

tell us who told you here they'd say you're if you heard that you should have called the police immediately anything else to do is you're a criminal now that's that would have been it done there's no explanation to anything you're just automatically a criminal here because they make money off prison over there they don't so it's a different thing so uh the yeah when you have to pay for prison uh you know actually what it costs to house people in a human fashion you tend to put less of them in fucking jail. It's fucking funny. It's weird.

Cost effective to keep that guy on the street. Yeah. Maybe we'll give him another shot. He's clearly not. I mean, he's not hurting anybody that didn't call him racial slurs. Yeah, that's fine. Oh, he's still. Don't worry.

It's not your kind of guy. Put it that way. Don't say that. So he says the judge says, quote, he was suitably worried and attended her address. All the lights were off. And after knocking a few times, he decided to kick the door through. That was that here. He was fined for damage to the door, like we said.

And it was captured again on tape. Of course. Him kicking the door in. I have zero cameras at my front door. Yeah, yeah. And also, at this point this point though caught on the caught on the tape and this goes right under the thing it appears on the tape that he strikes the female companion three times in the face oh but he denies it and she denies it so they go well we must not

have seen it right on the tape he kicked a door in and slapped this woman three times apparently allegedly on this tape. And then fucking they said, well, you know, I mean, if they both said they didn't do it, I mean, we can't see on the tape. There's only one angle. We can't know for sure that he hit her. She didn't stop and say, he just hit me three times. Like, we don't know. They literally were like, benefit of the doubt.

Fine. You're gone. Is it pretty? Is it like Ray Rice video? It's on a goddamn tape of him. Hitting a woman three times in the face is never subtle or understated. That's pretty obvious what's happening. You see it.

It's shocking. Oh, boy, is it? Oh. Seeing that Ray Rice video, I was like, oh, I had a pit in my stomach. I was like, whoa. That was weird. I got diarrhea right now. It was not good.

Yeah. You see that. That's not comfortable. I feel gross. Yeah. That should be and it's like, oh, God, that's not comfortable. I feel gross. Yeah. That should be a reaction to that video. If you're like, ooh, hot, we'll pay for you to be in jail because you're going to do things. If your reaction is hot or what's the problem?

Yeah. I don't understand. So what'd she do? If that's your reaction, she had to do something. We didn't know what she said. Yeah. You didn't hear what she said first. Okay? You don't know what she said you're the guy we were talking about earlier grow up grow the fuck up exactly exactly uh so january 19th 2013 so i've lost count of his arrest so far

19 as courts and everything and we're not even we're just dude we're scratching this a lot scratching the surface of this shit right now. It's like a scratch-off ticket. We have one thing scratched off. Get that gray shit off. There's plenty more to go. 2013 in January, he decides that he's going to take to Twitter to criticize the Newcastle fans for booing the team after they lost. Isn't that what you do?

To Reading. Or Reading, however you say it over there. I'm not sure. Everything is pronounced different, so I'm not sure. It's probably Reading. It's probably Reading. So, yeah, they lost 2-1 at home, and the fans booed them. I don't know how it works over there if they boo a lot,

but over here, if the Yankees lose three in a row, they're getting fucking booed. But if the Yankees lose 2-1, and they were up 1-0, and then at the end they lose 2- a row they're getting fucking booed but if the Yankees lose two to one and they were up one to nothing and then at the end they lose two to one they might not get booed baseball's different you might get booed for that because you just held it together for nine fucking innings then you give up two in the night I guess it's against a shit team though is the problem so they boo uh and he took to Twitter to say I'm not taking any of this shit and you know what let's let's this is his words. Let's give him an in their own words. I think it's time.

Let's hear from Niall in their own words, quote, certain fans need to not come in, come and support the team coming out to boo us. Stay at home. Don't need your booze. Say no more to all the fans. You are not forced to buy season tickets or pay our wages.

Please remember that if you are loyal fans, be with us when we are out there on the field, be theth man don't come and boo this ain't going to help anyone team is going through a rough patch last thing we need is fans against us hashtag simple really we are a team you boo one player you're booing all of us yeah okay that tweet everybody blew up and was like fuck you arrest asshole right score a goal and don't get arrested for a month and then maybe we'll fucking care what you have to say, dickhead. Also, you're saying a lot of things that are wrong. Yeah.

Also, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Idiot. So he's being, they really go after him. So the next day he tweets, quote, God gives the hardest battles to the strongest soldiers. That's what he tweets. I will tattoo that. Yeah. That is solid. That's, well tweets. I will tattoo that. That is solid. Well, yeah, it's just hilarious coming from him.

That's the problem. You've got a replica gun, sir. It's not even real. He tweets, God gives the hardest battles to the strongest soldiers. And then pretty much right after that he tweets out uh him he spells out ranger in 20 dollar bills or 20 20 pound notes uh on the on the ground like big giant letters of spelling it out uh to further enrage the fans that not only is he a fuck up right and not scoring any goals and getting arrested all the time and talking shit to them. But he's also fucking rich, too.

What a dick. Now he's 50 cent. And he's flaunting it. What the fuck, man? Yeah. So the people are not happy about that. No. They think he's a total asshole for that, obviously.

That's January 19th of 2000. The tweet about criticizing the booing people starts on January 20th of that year. So, January 25th, he's arrested on suspicion of rape. Yeah, that's an escalation. Yeah. That's not... Punch an asshole, a drunken dick at a nightclub. Everybody's an adult.

Then you get into rape and you're like, oh. They think that you're better than everybody. Chill the fuck out here. Now, let's see what excuse they accept about this one over there it's on closed circuit tv and it's i'm sure it is like everything else yeah so everybody's in their houses now half the homes are closed circuit tv in case of an incident so january 25th 2013 he's arrested in a newcastle hotel room on suspicion of rape uh police spokeswoman said on jan thursday January 24th, the woman reported to police she had been raped overnight at a hotel in Jesmond.

A 21-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of rape, which is him. He's arrested that night. We'll talk more about that later and give you more of the details as they come out. So that's January 25th. He didn't tweet something like Jesmond, more like Jin more like jismin what motherfucker spelling it out in fucking 20s bitch then posing with a bazooka and then driving even though he's not allowed to so uh uh march 1st 2013 uh he leaves newcastle by what they call mutual consent. Yeah.

They don't want him, and he don't want to be here. They don't want him, and he's tired of being booed. So he's going to leave. After he gets his release, he went to Twitter and just tweeted, I'm happy with a smiley face. So he wanted to be out of there, apparently. Which is the tattoo behind his lip. That's, yeah.

What a dickhead. He pulls it down, how happy he is. He's so happy. So that is March 1st, March 14th, 2013. He is questioned by police after reports of a fight between a couple happens in a parking lot area here. He has to appear in court charged with assault after beating up his girlfriend in a car park, basically, allegedly here. They hold him after a large crowd gathered outside the nightclub Tiger Tiger to apparently watch him beat the shit out of his girlfriend. He beat her long enough for people to congregate.

Apparently, well, they're yelling. Yeah, I guess this is a club worker described the disturbance here. Samantha Simpson describes the disturbance. She says that Ranger had returned to the club claiming he'd been mugged. Apparently, she said, quote, he left with a girl and two other men. But then there was a row outside or a row or whatever the fuck you Brits say. I think it's a row. So he says she says she was telling him quote you're

a shit footballer oh the police arrived and took him away in handcuffs so apparently he left with a woman and two guys and she was calling him a shit footballer and he started fucking beating everybody up enough to call it draw a large crowd unbelievable so uh this is you're a shit footballer and he's like what? The hell is wrong with you? Go inside. Stop going out. But he beat her long enough for people that I'm blown away by. Well, I feel like the argument drew a crowd.

Maybe. And then he couldn't take it anymore. Shit footballer. I'm not taking that from you. I haven't played football in six fucking months, pal. And he punches her. How dare you? I do other things now.

I'm a bad footballer, but I'm a great bitch puncher. You should see me build a birdhouse i'm the fucking best no idea i got hobbies the giant ceo got in a fight with like his his wife in public yeah the san francisco right yeah and then he like grabbed a piece of paper and she fell down and she started screaming help me and that's when he realized oh shit this is gonna go bad if people come around yeah and he just took whatever they were fighting over and just i tailed it out of there because that's a smart man you don't keep a woman on the ground you don't draw a crowd while they're screaming and everyone walks up and you're standing over the woman that's probably bad yeah at that point it doesn't look good for you talking

shit in her face so yeah apparently here uh he's detained and this is like seven o'clock at night too this isn't even a fucking this isn't even two in the morning here uh after they were called uh they said a quote a police spokeswoman said a 21 year old has been arrested on suspicion of assault and is currently in custody and helping police with inquiries that means they're talking some shit to him they're questioning him uh so april 30 april of 2013 the next month he is given a one-year community order sentence for pulling his girlfriend's hair during the fight during that fight so i guess it's a community service yeah he was yanking around by the hair jesus and uh not being a good dude out there at all uh now uh police heard the incident took place after uh uh his girlfriend who's the one he kicked the door in on same girl

same girl didn't answer her phone when she was out organizing an event with a male work colleague so that explains he left went outside with her and the two work colleagues and he got pissed off and was like what motherfucker are you talking to my girlfriend and then grabbing her by the fucking hair and acting like a psychopath like you can't do uh he was heard on the phone uh while he was arriving at the club he was heard on the phone saying quote i'm going to grab her so he was saying i'm gonna yank her the fuck out of here that's while he was arriving at the club he was heard on the phone saying quote i'm going to grab her so he was saying i'm gonna yank her the fuck out of here that's what he was trying to do is get her dragging her by her hair yeah like i don't understand that's that's not a good approach

no it's a bad approach don't drag anyone by their fucking hair not good and if that's your fucking that's where you're at in your relationship walk away that's not gonna go well i'm gonna go out and i think she's cheating on me i'm gonna go drag her by the hair back to here that'll save the relationship this is that's if your relationship's at the point where that's an option it's over she don't want to be with you and you want a long time yeah and you want to drag her by the hair back to it i think you should both just go your separate fucking respect is a big deal and if that's not if that's your level of respect that you will grab her by her fucking hair i think respect left when he blew her doors off the hinges probably

that was probably not a lot of respect there oh you i locked door is that that's a boundary and he said between us fuck your boundary i don't respect that i'll kick that shit right down literally have no respect for your boundaries. Zero. Zero respect. So he is not doing well. No. I mean, let's take stock of him so far. I mean, he is a 22-year-old kid at this point. He's had a lot going on.

That's sobering as fuck. It feels like he's 35 from this episode because he's been just so much. It's every time he goes out. Stop going out. Sounds like a 45 year old dude that life has beat the shit out of him. Meanwhile, he's a 22 year old who life has essentially just blown him for 22 years. He's got the world by the ball. If he just stops punching women and acting like an asshole, he's got life by the balls over there.

You're a soccer player. You'll get paid. Well, everyone will love you. You'll be revered. Even if you're not're not great who cares you still you'll be that and then afterwards you can open up a bar you can open up some pub where everybody comes to hang out with you and watch the game and all that shit and you make a living they buy drinks because you're there see peter story but not the not the rest of it though just he had it for a while and then it fell apart he's smuggling porn right and other things. Like porn and like coins and shit.

It's a weird story. But if you haven't heard Peter's story, that's a crazy one. That's a wild episode. Listen to that shit. So he ends up, I can't believe he fucking did that. He's such an idiot, this guy. So that's one year community order. So July 8th, 2013, he is formally charged with rape from the January arrest.

Formally. Formally. They were gathering up. They arrested him and then they said, well, you can go home now and we're going to fucking gather up. Well, you'll be charged with something. He is arrested. After he's arrested, he told police that he and the woman had sex more than once and that

she, quote, engaged wholeheartedly and enthusiastically. It's his story. Is he bragging that she's good? I think she's bragging like, yo, she was into it, man. Like, she was, you should see. Yo, her hips, man. Started telling the cops tricks she does and shit. And they're like, no, no, no.

You're in jail for rape, stupid. Stop saying that. Don't say how sexy your rape victim is. Stop, dummy. Jesus Christ. Are you fucking stupid? And then he pulls his lip down. Like, no, you fucking idiot. Jesus Christ. She made my dick fucking stupid and he pulls his lip down like no you fucking idiot jesus she made my dick and then he pulls his lip out jesus christ so august 16th 2013

never never never if you're you're, never do that. Tiger Woods didn't do that. Maybe he didn't rape her. Tiger Woods wasn't accused of rape. Wasn't he? No. Ben Roethlisberger. Ben Roethlisberger.

He didn't say anything like that. Jake Plummer, all those people. Kobe. Kobe. Why does it say Tiger? I had Kobe's face in my head and then Tiger's mouth. Tiger fucked a bunch of broads voluntarily. Super willingly. Yeah, they didn't give a shit. For a bit of money, mouth. Tiger fucked a bunch of broads voluntarily. Super willingly.

Yeah, they didn't give a shit. For a bit of money, but still willing. Yeah, I was still willing. Super willing. It definitely wasn't against their will. I saw him as a hotel clerk, and then I connected Tiger to her. I'm very sorry, Tiger. By the way, Tiger just won the Masters.

He did. And if you saw the pictures of him, there's this one picture of him triumphantly and his arms around, and he's holding his hat, and I'm looking at this guy, and I'm going, you have $100 million, and you disappeared for three years why the fuck didn't you get plugs fix your fucking head bro fix your fucking head or shave it you look like a fucking asshole he looks like he looks like sandra's boyfriend on the fucking cosby show he looks like elvin with a receding hairline now it looks fucking terrible because he's got that like kind of elven hair.

Don't. Tiger. Why doesn't he? You hang out with Jordan all the fucking time. A hundred million dollars and he had literally three years where he was gone from the public eye.

He could have come back looking like fucking Shaft with just a beautiful, tight, full afro and everyone went, wow, look at Tiger. He's looking good. Tiger's killing it.

He's looking great. Jesus. He's got that shit on top. Oh. Just shave. He takes everything else from Michael Jordan. Take that, too. Shave his fucking head.

Do something. That just looked awful. You got the gambling and whores. May as well just take the bald head, too. Go for it. What's the difference? Zip it off. Run a Hitler mustache, too.

Yeah, well, I think that's worse coming from Tiger. That would look weird on Tiger. That would be great. It would be hilarious. You see a guy like Michael Jordan, you're almost like, is that cool now? Whereas Tiger would be like, what the fuck is he doing? Don't do that. Jesus Christ.

Haynes sales fucking quadrupled after that commercial. Because everyone talked about it. They're like, fuck it. I'll buy a shirt. Shirts are so nice you can pull off a Hitler mustache. That's a good shirt. Holocaust won't even push you away from a shirt. I guess if shirts are so nice, you can pull off a Hitler mustache. That's a good shirt. Holocaust won't even push you away from that shirt. Imagine if you didn't have a Hitler mustache.

How good do you look in this shirt? Like all of you. So Jesus Christ. So, yeah, he fights his girlfriend. He does all of this shit. So he's formally charged with rape. July 8th, 2013. Like I said, wholeheartedly, enthusiastically is his claim. So that is a month and a week later, August 16, 2016, he signs a one-year deal with a team.

He is literally in the middle of a rape fucking trial. Bragging about how hot she is. Bragging about how hot she is, how into it she is. He just got charged formally with rape he's it hasn't even done the trial yet and they're like we can get him cheap dude what the fuck like at least here like we're all scumbags but at least in the states they'd be like we're gonna wait till the rape trial clears up first before we fucking sign this guy i think probably you know maybe he won't play yeah like jamis winston that was like a huge deal like and

it didn't go to trial. He has just been charged formally, and they're like, we should sign him. He's signed by Swindon Town of League One. It's a one-year deal with an option for a second. Swindon Town is the Robins. Very threatening. Super. Known as the most vicious bird out there.

Is it BB, like they rob folks? No, Robins. Yeah, the Robins, motherfucker there bb like they robin no robins yeah the robins motherfucker we're gonna rob everybody and we're not uh he scores his first goal against the queens park rangers uh there and uh he's he's uh he ends up scoring four goals in uh november he's he does really well for them because he's playing in kind of a lesser league. Oh, yeah. In 23 appearances in 2013, 2014, he scores eight goals, which is pretty good. And in League Cup play, he has two appearances and scores one goal. Great. I don't know what that is.

That's one. We're looking at it. That's good. Now, sometime, okay, this is fucking amazing. This is a great story. In 2013, right after the rape charge and the signing, he's pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving. Of course.

Okay. Obviously. If he's pulled over, he's drinking. Yeah. So he's pulled over. They pull you over. They pull you out of the car. Yeah.

So they pull him out of the car and they pull you away from your car back toward their car. So he is talking to two police officers that are questioning him and doing i assume sobriety tests and things like that while he's doing that obviously you just leave your car sitting there because you're with the cops so you're not real like you leave your keys in the ignition while the cops are doing this with him two men jump in his car and fucking steal amazing that's the ballsiest most awesome theft i've ever heard of in my life. Two cops are standing there with the man who owns the car. Three people you don't want to see you steal the car. Police officers and the owner of the car.

And they're like, fuck it, just jump in and go. And they just took off. That's the super ballsy equivalent of me uh speeding down the freeway seeing a cop with a guy pulled over and going ah fuck it he's busy yeah exactly but the same thing they're just like ah they're busy they stole a car right in front of these people like they also uh you know were arrested later on in the day because they stole a car right in front of the police they got a good description of him. Everyone saw them do it. We got the license plate.

Hey! We'll just catch up to him. We'll pick him up later. It's all on closed circuit. Don't worry about it. We'll see where he goes. Fuck it. It's cool. We know where he started.

We know his license plate. It's pulled up on the screen of the car right now. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, really. And then they throw Niall in the back seat. And he's like, come on, let's go. And they all go chasing his car. Follow that car. Jesus Christ. Like it's

a cab. So yeah, he is being, I don't know. No, no thought. I don't know whether they arrested him or not or whether they felt bad for him. Jesus Christ. I got his car stolen while we were talking. It's your lucky day, punk. It's your lucky day. We had to, Grand Theft Auto is worse. So we had to chase him. So that's how it works awesome so uh november 14th 2013 uh he

fails to report to the club for training after being given a period of leave uh here uh he plays one more game before again failing to turn up for the club here so uh the manager mark cooper said that he would not appear with the club anymore niall until he quote showed some respect for the team not women the team the team all men yeah but fuck that on the outside smack everybody who's in within arm's reach do your thing bro do your thing man hey whatever keeps you loose on the field. That's what we're looking for. My hair's pretty silver. So he said at this point, the manager said that he would offload Ranger if he failed to train because of his disciplinary record. He's like, he's a fuck-up, and then he doesn't show up, too?

What do we have this guy for? So December 25, 2013. I think he's going to get it together. It's Christmas Day. It's a good day to turn it around. I feel like this is the day where he goes, you know what, man? I'm 22 years old. I'm throwing my career down the fucking toilet.

I got to get it together. It's Christmas. I'm going to gather with my family. I'm going to make a U-turn today. I'm going to make it. Yeah. I'm going to turn the whole thing around, but not in my car because I'm not allowed to drive on the street. I'm going to tell the Uber driver to take a U-turn-turn i'm gonna take a u-turn on my mountain bike right uh instead december 25th

2013 he crashes his land rover into a tree uh while being drunk of course uh uh he claims though this is the best uh crashes into a tree he claims he was swerving to avoid a fox oh so which is a common problem. I would crush it. How many times have you crashed your car avoiding fox? It happens all the time, right? I know there's more foxes. There should be.

But you're swerving to avoid a fox? Nope. Nope. I will destroy it. Not to go into a tree. No. If it's tree or fox, that fox is... Sorry, pal. Sorry, little buddy.

As I'm going over him, I'll feel bad about it don't get me wrong sorry little buddy as i push the gas pedal down sorry little buddy but i'm not wrapping my fucking car around a tree sorry about that no if it's him or me you're going down fucker i don't care man uh so jesus christ so he's doing all this shit so you'd think his team would be like we got to drop this guy instead january 3, right after the new year, the chairman of the team of Swindon Town, Lee Power, has a press conference and said, not we're shit canning Niall. He says the club will be meeting with Niall and his management

in the following days to talk about it, to talk about what's going to happen with him since he's shown such disrespect for the team and constantly showed that he doesn't give a shit about anything we do here now uh uh he says uh uh power the guy who's in charge said quote i'm that's a great name for a guy in charge power he said uh i'm the chairman of the club and i've got to do what's best for the club unfortunately what's best for the club is having to sit down with nile and talk about parting ways. While this is ongoing, Niall is not training with the squad.

So you think he's going to be gone. Instead, he's recalled to the squad. They go, now you come back. The chat went well. You know what we talked to him? He says he's, let me look at my notes. He says he's good now. Is that all right?

We figure that's, we said, oh, all right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Pretty solid. All right. All right. Pretty solid. That's it. That was the whole conversation.

Okay, good, good. So, yeah, so he ends up, he scores in a two-to-one win on January 11th, and he continues to play through January and into early February, scores three more goals. He's on a roll. Maybe he fucking turned it around. Maybe wrapping his car around a tree scared him a little bit. You know what I mean?

I should do it. Nothing else so far has physically harmed him. He's just harmed other people and been a dickhead. But maybe once he finally hurts himself, he'll go, Jesus Christ, I could have killed myself. I got to fucking get my shit together. Not quite. No. February 13th.

You're surprised. You said that you looked genuinely surprised. I'm surprised you're surprised. That was a good plan. It was a plan. That 13th. You're surprised? You said that. You looked genuinely surprised. I'm surprised you're surprised. That was a good plan. It was a plan. That's why. Right? I feel like I could have talked him into it.

It's too bad you're not Nile Ranger. God damn it. If only I could play soccer better. Or at all. Or have ever done it. Ever. Yeah. Or, well, that would help, too.

But I don't know. Is that helping soccer? I'm not sure. It helps in fucking everything. Yeah, I i guess so they are much better than me except politics help there very much it's not a good one oh jeez poor ben yeah so anyway uh uh he poor what ben ben who uh isn't that his name ben Ben? Ben who? The black politician. Isn't it Ben? Ben Carson? Yes.

That motherfucker doesn't know his ass from a fucking hole in the wall. It's not poor that guy. He's a fucking idiot. Sorry, Corey. Poor someone who's smart who fucking might not get a jazz. Not fucking Ben Carson. I like Booker. Yeah, Corey Booker's fine.

Ben Carson's a fucking moron. I'm sorry. That guy's an idiot. I know he'ser's right ben carson's a fucking moron i'm sorry that guy's an idiot i know he's a neurosurgeon and he's a fucking brilliant man and i'm sure when it comes to a brain he's very very brilliant but when it comes to common when it comes to speaking like a human you're like what the fuck is wrong with this guy what happened did he eat the the books is that and he can like process that is he sleeping now while he's speaking? Is this sleep talking? What's happening right now? I don't like this. Not good at that.

He's arrested. Not good at this. February 13, 2014, he's arrested on suspicion of breaching his bail conditions in relation to an upcoming rape trial. So he's got bail conditions where he's not supposed to go out and be an asshole while

he's, you know, waiting for his rape trial. Instead, he's arrested at 2.30 a.m. near the Tup Tup Palace nightclub again. That's his favorite. He loves that place. He keeps going there. It's outside Newcastle there. He's doing his thing here. So that's February 13th.

That happens. February 14th, he plays in a game anyway and tears his hamstring. Oh, no. There. So, I don't know. Maybe if you weren't out fucking drinking until 2.30 in the morning, maybe your muscles wouldn't be so goddamn cramped and tight and you wouldn't tear your fucking hamstring, stupid.

Probably wouldn't be so dehydrated, fuckface. Yeah, that's what happens. So, yeah, that's his last game for Swindon Town after that. March 4th is Rape Court. Yeah. March 4th, 2014. Let march 4th 2014 let's go heading on down to rape court uh the that's a good tv show that's okay heading on down to rape court who's the judge i want to watch that jesus christ every every case is raped it's just

raped that'd be exhausting after two episodes you'd be like, Jesus. Fuck, I need a bath. No more rape. Jesus, this is disgusting, man. That would really show how common that shit is in America. What's wrong with everybody? Stop raping each other. Jesus fucking Christ. Enough.

So the woman is giving evidence here. The woman is testifying. She says she has no memory of the night beyond beyond the bar where they met and then she woke up naked uh next to him in bed that's all she remembers she said i met him at the bar and the next thing you know i woke up next to him so she's saying that yeah now uh uh the trial in court they heard uh that uh i guess she said that after they spent the night together, he told her that she should take the morning after pill. He tells her. Why?

Yeah, I wonder why. So apparently there's something going on. She left, and I guess they continued to text each other all day. Then she visited her doctor and was checked at the hospital and then made a rape allegation after that because she didn't know what happened. I can tell you right away when he says that shit yeah oh fuck yeah that's that's why she went to the doctor after that and was like i think something happened here and she's right uh the court uh they they talk about that they'd been messaging for a year before the incident okay uh they've been messaging the whole time apparently he has been like through text just like trying to get her to hang out and

trying to get in her pants for a year it's a girl he's got on the side that he's trying to hook up with for a year and every once in a while he takes a shot at her in text messages that they exchanged she jokingly called him a predator and Niall the Ripper and shit like that like you know

joking around like you know God you won't leave me alone you're a real predator you like me too much I feel like you might be nile the ripper and shit like that so how many dick pics yeah oh god he's sending tons of cock pics he's sending his mug shots like this one baby they put me away for something good this time uh he denies the charge completely he says this is bullshit it's a good story god damn it yeah he says that uh he claims that uh the woman consented to sex at a hotel uh they heard that she said he says that she agreed to meet him after they had swapped a bunch of text messages for a year after he was

stalking her not stalking her but trying to get her to hook up uh they met that night uh he says that they never uh that he has never in his life engaged in sexual activity with a female against her will uh men he's just all of them all of them every guy half his teammates he's just qualifies it with females yeah that's why i love that never never yeah can't say the same for the defenseman on my team i get them good that goalie. I keep them on their toes. I ace the shit out of them.

I keep them on their toes. Is there defensemen in soccer? I think so. I don't know. I know there's that in hockey. They play defense. It's non-skate hockey. Yeah, it's what it is.

It just looks like that. Much bigger. It's the same kind of strategy, it seems like, to get things in angles. It's ice soccer. It's all angles. It's grass soccer. Yeah, ice soccer,'s all angles it's grass yeah ice soccer grass hockey same shit so uh yeah so also he said that they talk about that they met at the city center bar uh they went to

different clubs before finally getting a room at the carlton hotel in the jesmond area of newcastle uh so that is that's basically the trial she shows up and she says i don't know what happened we exchanged texts for a long time we met next thing you know i'm naked i wake up next to him and he says i should take the morning after pill and i went to my doctor and he says hey fucking loved it we we agreed on a hotel she fucking digs me we hung out we fucking had a party we joked i fucking uh you know i've been macking on her for a goddamn year and then i got up in that ass and you know that's how it is and she went yeah i don't remember saying that was cool at all you're not allowed to just hump on a person who's not conscious

that's not all right and uh the jury is the only one who uh who can decide this they take uh just about an hour to reach their verdict of not guilty wow just not guilty okay how is that and not guilty i don't understand in america that dude's going to jail yeah for sure or something he's at least clinging to a lesser something there's gonna be some blood tests to find out what else at least something so uh yeah uh f so they find him not guilty he's super psyched they said he banged on the glass door saying thank god for that afterwards oh jesus uh he then thanked the jury yeah and fucking he thanks the jury takes his tie off and flips it into the air and says what a joke and leaves the court

wow does not fucking get it wow doesn't get it what a joke literally takes his tie off like fuck this what is it a clip? No, I don't think so. Over there, people know how to fucking tie a necktie. Yeah, they're pretty good at it. Because they had to do it for school probably when they were fucking three. So, here, there's 50-year-old men who don't know how to tie a necktie in America. That's insane. Oh, God, Jesus.

Half the population has to look at a YouTube video. I have tons of friends that are like, I'm going to a wedding. Can you show me? Are you shitting me? Yeah. What are you doing? Grow up. Do a half windsor that's the easiest yeah learn it once and you never have to do it again flip them over flip it looks fine it's done everybody's happy so anyway uh him though flips it off says what a joke which is the last thing you want him to say in this situation he does not understand the seriousness of this and it's basically they go well her word against his she says she was unconscious and doesn't remember and he says that she was into it so she was super conscious he says she doesn't know she

said she doesn't have a story she says i don't know and he says he's got a story that's in his favor so we're believing him that's not yeah here they'd be like you're not allowed to have sex an unconscious person that's not okay she didn't remember anything then you should have stopped and whatever so uh march 14th that is march 4th that he's acquitted of rape you think he'd fucking oh my god i will stay away from women i stay away from everything i'm not going out anymore ever i'm not going anywhere no i'm staying home i'm gonna watch movies'm going to sober tug the rest of my life. Yeah, that's it. I'm going to find some real lame friends that I can hang out with that like to do that shit myself.

Talk about rain gutters. Sober, no lube, just a dry, sober tug. Not even enjoyable. It's great. Just to get it out. So March 14, 2014, he is charged with common assault after an incident in Newcastle City Center. At the Tup Tup? It was not at the Tup Tup, this one.

He apparently was some guy in a bar and he got a fucking whatever. Got in a little brawl with him. He appears before the court and is released on bail. He's got another court date now. He's got so much shit going on. So finally now he's off the team. It's about fucking time for Swindon

Town here. He played 28 games in all. He scored 10 goals in 28 games. He did well for them. But tons of disciplinary problems. Not only all these arrests on the team, he's got disciplinary problems too. He shows up fucking late all the time. He doesn't do his job.

He's just not a dependable adult. He's unreliable. Yeah, it's weird. He's just not an adult. He acts like he did since he was 15. He's never changed. He's never grown up one bit here. He's had no reason to.

No, he really hasn't. Even the penalties have been so fucking lenient. Yeah, even with the woman, with the rape. What a joke. That's what he thinks of it. I do anything I want. What the fuck, man? It's interesting.

He says this one, though. He's off the team in May where he says that he and Swindon Town mutually agreed to terminate his contract. They don't want me. I don't want them. They don't want me. I don't want fucking them. Got it. So March 23rd, 2014.

This is all in the same month. That was a court and then an arrest on the 14th. Now the 23rd, he's arrested again. Oh, boy. This time he's arrested for causing criminal damage to a taxi in Liverpool. I've never understood that. Go on. We'll talk about it here.

The story comes out later, and it's interesting, but he'll end up later on, actually, he'll get fined and be charged with criminal damage. Apparently, he breaks out the taxi's window, and yeah, he says his defense is that he was enraged by being called a rapist by the driver. I don't know. Stop getting arrested for rape. That's pretty awesome. I mean, what the fuck, man?

That is pretty ballsy. A driver is just like, what's up, rapist? Where are we going, rapist? If you're a famous dude who just had a rape charge, you have to expect, if I go out, people are going to call me a rapist. I shouldn't go out if I don't want to be called a rapist. I would think that 100%. How many times do you think Kobe has had that shouted at him?

Oh, my God. How many fucking foul shots has he's taken while everybody yells, rapist, rapist like i would think that how many times do you think kobe has had that shouted oh my god how many fucking foul shots has he's taken while everybody yells rapist rape it's probably 30,000 people at a time yelling rapist at him fucking chanting sodomy you can't do that and this fucking guy is a cab driver yeah and he breaks window. He's fucking dragged away from the cab again. He's arrested again. And now, okay, how's he supposed to get around? He's not allowed to drive.

He's been licensed suspended for the next hundred fucking years, basically, with all his drunk drivings and bashing and his shit. He's not allowed to drive. And now he can't even get a cab ride because the guy calls him a rapist, so he has to kick the cab windows out. That's awesome. So from now on, he's on foot or I picture him on one of those little razor scooters just going like, okay, I'm going to do this. That's all he has to do, though.

Now he's got to walk and scoot and he does that. It's funny, though. He calms down with the nightlife a little bit. He starts relaxing during the day, taking strolls. He's not allowed to fucking do anything so he's got to take a stroll one day he's taking a stroll and he hears some dogs barking behind him he's like what the fuck is that and it's bobby colorado animal trainer from fredericksburg texas and he says how is it you come to arrive here? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Nah, I'm serious. Calm down, dogs. It's all right. No, they don't like rapists. See, that's right. Oh, you're going to attack me? I got no windows to kick out and my dogs will probably bite you,

so go fuck yourself. But you're going to have to listen to me talk. See, that's why I bring my dogs with me. Because, you know, jerk-offs like you, you might take a shot at me. You know, I'm a little older than 33. I'll end up with a broken jaw on the fucking ground. Let me tell you something. You know what you need need you need to stop going out stop being a fucking

jerk off and drinking and driving in the fucking trees you don't drive in the trees you see a fox run that son of a bitch not a dog run it over who cares if it's a dog swerve out of the way it's related but not enough it's not enough not close enough they're not good pets i'll tell you that right now you need a fucking dog Can I interest you in a nice dog? Now, I feel like it's expensive. I train well. But that money, the investment, will keep so many lawyer fees in your pocket. Just you hang out with this dog, you're not going to get arrested.

But I got to go. The dogs are pulling me away. I'm sorry. And poof, in a cloud of dog shit and marinara sauce, Bobby Colorado's gone. And this is a confused man because this is England. And he's like, where the fuck did that? What the fuck was that? That was really weird.

Where's that guy from? He's very confused. But now he has to contemplate risk versus reward of buying a dog. Now he's thinking about it, though. That's the thing. He's like the math of it. He's like, maybe I would like a dog because he is a little kid, too. Maybe I would like a dog.

Dogs are cool. Maybe I could take that in the car with me. Him and the dog being arrested at the same time uh now april 28th 2014 this is the next month after the last arrest uh this is all captured here on closed circuit television of course he's charged with criminal damage again after an incident uh in swindon here on april 13th he's finally charged on the 28th he's arrested by police who are investigating an assault on a woman and criminal damage to flats in swindon okay uh basically the buildings management gave the the closed circuit tape showing quote showing a man punching a female and kicking and smashing a door and lift. Then it's Nile, obviously.

That's an elevator, right? Yeah, a lift is an elevator. So he's just fucking kicking doors and elevators and punching women. Just anything that he can reach. I feel like that's all it is. I can reach that. Pow, I'm kicking it. I can reach her.

Boom, I'm punching it. How angry is he? He's an angry motherfucker when he's drunk. Why is he so fucking angry? Yeah, it's like the fucking Jay-Z thing. Why are you so mad? Why are you so mad, bro? Why are you so mad?

You have everything. I had five albums. Five albums. I still live with my moms. They're ready to die. Shit, that was all right. That was all right. My shit is more John Blaze than that.

Sorry, it was Biggie. It wasn't fucking Jay-Z. My shit is way more. My shit is way more John Blaze than that. Way more is the funniest part of that. My shit is way more John Blaze in that. So I was biggie. It wasn't fucking Jay-Z. My shit is way more. My shit is way more John Blaze in that shit. Way more is the funniest part of that. My shit is way more John Blaze.

As he starts saying John, my shit is way more John Blaze in that shit. Is that right? Is that right? Is that right? I am not,

I can't understand the level of everything just given to him. Not just, not just products and things, freedom.

The amount of freedom just given to him. As not just products and things freedom the amount of freedom just just given to him as a child everything he's had every opportunity to live a glorious life and he is so mad why are you why are you so mad bro fucking angry what are you so fucking mad about where is richard sherman to bark that at him yeah you mad bro you mad is it i what is it just the alcohol that turns his eye i don't know like the instant asshole fucking had alcohol thing with him like it's gotta he's allergic to alcohol that's what it is he can't drink like they need to put one of those fucking bracelets on him that don't let him drink like a life alert if he's drinking get him but they gave tracy morgan on 30 rock that time where he wasn't allowed to go to Luda

Christmas because he had the fucking, you know what I'm talking about. He's got a problem. He's got a problem, obviously. That's what this is. He's got a natural chemical imbalance that does not function well when you add alcohol to it. It's got to be. You add alcohol, it makes him rape and punch.

He's nuts. He's fucking nuts, man. It changes everything. Yeah. This happened at Gordon Gardens at about 4 a.m., obviously. He ended up turning himself into police and he was arrested later on. Basically, they said that the woman seen in the footage has been identified and they spoke to her. The club has asked him to attend a disciplinary hearing.

We're going to talk to you about it again. We're not sure if you're a dick or not you guys the talks aren't going well no not at all that's april 28th 2014 may of 2014 okay he uh he is he goes to the uh he goes to court because this is fucking amazing okay him and his fucking cohorts yeah he's got like four people with him. Mates. Here. He's got his mates.

They're all found sleeping in a car. Okay. A crashed car. Oh, that's not good. There's a difference between sleeping in a car and sleeping in a crashed car. Yeah. They said they found a crashed car. There was a Mercedes on the side of the road.

So a tow truck comes to tow it away. And when they got there, they couldn't wake Nile up. He's so fucked up, they couldn't wake him up. They said that it hit the central reservation, I guess the median. It hits the central median and then came to rest on the hard shoulder of the eastbound carriageway. On the other side. On the other side of the road over there. So the recovery driver, the tow truck driver, William purnell said uh nile and his three friends two men and a woman

were all asleep when he arrived they crashed and were like this is pretty comfortable and it's all fucking all for no one was awake enough to go hey guys yeah we just fucking crashed anybody want to fix this or what the fuck man're all just going to rest here for a while? Every one of them said, I'm in no shape to fix this. Me neither. You? How can me? Crash, do you have to be all...

And then Niall, I'm driving, you guys. Clearly I can't do it. Yeah. He tried to say he wasn't driving at first, too. He tried to say that he climbed up from the back seat because it was more leg room in the driver's seat. That's what he said. Better sleep up here.

So no one was driving, is what he said. The car crashed. He was in the back seat, and then he climbed into the driver's seat for leg room. So that's why they crashed. Ghost driver. Of course they're going to crash. They're a ghost riding the whip, man. Yeah, what the fuck, man?

We can't do that shit. Not on the highway. In a parking lot or something. Not on the highway. They're doing 60 doing that shit. It's scary. Just a brick on the high they're doing 60 doing that shit it's scary just a brick on the fucking on the gas pedal everybody's sleepy let's just this car is so badass it's fucking great it'll drive itself pretty much yeah it's fine same result as the ubers that drive

themselves so uh yeah he uh uh the the pernell said, the tow truck driver said, there was significant damage to the side of the car. Both wheels were punctured. So they had on that side, both the tires were blown out and the whole car was fucked up. And all four people inside were sleeping. I tried to wake Mr. Ranger, but he was unresponsive to me shouting in his ear. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. He seemed out of it.

There was a strong smell of drink in the car you think yeah no he's just real tired that's all just super tired at some point though when you are being roused in that in that state yeah there's a point where he probably realized what had happened and he was like fuck it i'm not opening these eyes well there's no way i'm opening them the next month he goes to court for it and he's dead to rights. Yeah. He's in the driver's seat of a crashed car sleeping. And it's his car.

He's found not guilty. No. Of drinking and driving. Not guilty. How is that even possible? Not guilty. He's just not guilty, Jimmy. What evidence did they present?

Jimmy, he said he didn't mean to do it. And they were like, we believe him. That seems reasonable. And they let him go. That's how it works there. Is this episode the not guiltiness of Nile Ranger? The not guiltiness of Nile Ranger. The acquittedness of Nile Ranger.

It's going to be acquittedness, I think. Yeah, the court here said he, Mr. Ranger, said he admitted to being the driver and that he had driven from Cardiff. He said, quote, or I'm sorry, the police officer said, quote, I then gave a roadside breath test, which he failed. Once he failed, he immediately denied being the driver of the car. The situation became volatile and inflamed once Ranger failed the breath test and I arrested him. Then he started getting all up to that. He was found to have 50 micrograms per 100 milliliters.

I don't know, some British. So the legal limit is 35. And he has 50. So he's drunk. That's their way of doing it? Yeah, micrograms per 100 milliliters. That's like how you tell how much weed is in somebody's system. It's nanograms per milliliter and shit like that.

And they do that with alcohol. This is micrograms in alcohol, yeah, because alcohol is... It's a little more strong, or a little less strong. Yeah, yeah. A little less effective. It's just better for you.

It's just better. It's just better. Just get you closer. You know how it goes. So, yeah, he said that he didn't even know how the damage to the car happened as he had been asleep. He said he'd been asleep

and he woke up to find his friend calling for a tow truck. And then he said, quote, and he woke up to find his friend calling for a tow truck, and then he said, quote, I had an injury on my knee a couple months ago, and I didn't have a lot of space in the back, so I swapped seats with him. Because when everyone's drunk and you crash, you go, I want to be in the driver's seat for this one. I want everyone to think it's my fault that this happened. He said, I then went straight back to sleep.

The engine may have been running for heating purposes because it was freezing cold out. After a two-hour trial, the judge said, quote, we find that you had no intention to drive that day. He did drive. He's literally shit-faced in the driver's seat of a running crashed car. You can't get, what the fuck, England? You can't get any more guilty than that i'm sorry he didn't have intention james the tires were flat how was he supposed to drive he obviously wasn't gonna drive his car was fucked up what is going on he just says no i was in the back seat

and i decided to switch and they went well that's what he says it's all right no plausible here they'd be like well you shouldn't have done that stupid now it looks like you're drunk driving fuck off and that'd be the end of the goddamn thing in america if you are drunk in a car there's and and you have the keys in your pocket you get a d.y person you get a d.y you don't have to have them in the fucking ignition no you can have you can be in a parking space d.y keys not with a pillow right keys in your not even and they're d.y because you could have drove you could have driven you have space. DUI. Keys with a pillow. DUI. Because you could have driven. You have no intention to drive because you're sleeping.

They said, they don't think you intended to drive. Never mind the fact that he fucking did. That's how they got there. Oh my God. That is frustrating. I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure even if the keys are locked in the trunk, you still get a DUI. I think so. I think that's what you have to do is lock the keys in the trunk.

I think that's the only thing you're allowed to do. I know that locked in the trunk is something. Yeah, I think that's what you're supposed to do. They can't be accessible to you. I just know that if you're drunk, you get a fucking Uber. Yeah. And you get the fuck away from your car. And you go.

And you come back the next day and you get it. Get the fuck away from your car. Jesus Christ. Yeah, don't be in the car. So that's early May. Now, May 9th, he's in court for the taxi incident here. Now, he apparently asked the driver, Michael Fox, to take him to a takeaway. I think it's food.

Take out food. And wait outside while he got some food. And then drop him off at the Malmaison Hotel in a William Jessup way. Now, the prosecutor said that Nile became aggressive after this Mr. Fox, the driver, refused to give him a ride because he didn't want to have to wait for a passenger. He said, I don't want to have to go wait and go fucking wait. I can be out getting other fares. So she said that apparently at this point, based on what the driver said, Niles started spitting toward him.

And this wasn't an official charge, but that's what started the whole thing. This guy was spitting at him. Grow up, mate. Yeah, grow up, mate. I'm spitting. That's not immature at all. That's so disrespectful. It's just bad shit.

Grow up, man. You're spitting. That's not immature at all. That's so disrespectful. It's just bad shit. So the court then heard that Nile struck the window of the taxi, which didn't break, and he walked away. So you'd think it's over. However, a minute later, he came back and smashed the back of the window.

He kicked it. It didn't break. He's like, I'm going to get a rock. Smash the back window of the car. It needs something better. It needs something better i need something better that's a good window i don't want to hurt myself it's a solid window hey solid solid window my window wow uh yeah so he left the scene and the cab driver called the police who found nile at the hotel he told the cab driver he's gonna go to so not a real fucking didn't take a real sherlock holmes to figure out where to find this fucking guy

carmen san diego clues to follow commit a don't tell the guy you're committing a crime against where you're going afterwards probably that's another rule we've had many crime and sports rules and never tell never tell the cops how hot your rape victim is. That's a big one. That's a big one here. So he called the police. They found him at the hotel. Now, his defense attorney said that Niall claimed that he'd become angry because the cabbie told him he didn't want to take the fare because, quote, because he was a rapist. Yeah. Which is apparently.

Oh, this is going to be common for him. Yeah. yeah which is apparently oh this is gonna be common for him yeah uh so he ends up pleading guilty to criminal criminal damage and uh to the value of 75 for a window uh he's fined 1 000 and ordered to pay ordered to pay the cab driver 230 dollars and these are all pounds 230 pounds in compensation plus 85 pounds in court costs and 100 pounds of a victim surcharge. That's an expensive window. It's an expensive window. In the end, he ended up paying, you know, 1500 bucks for the window.

But no jail time for going crazy and smashing out a fucking window of a taxi. How great is it that in England you can call somebody a rapist that was not convicted of rape and you don't get like plagiarism or what is that? No, it's liable. No, that's where they sue everyone for libel over there. Do they really? They sue newspapers over there for libel. But can you do that to like a single person there? I think so.

Yeah, libel is a big deal there. Like Tom Cruise sued the one thing for talking some shit about gay. I don't know. Maybe I think that's honestly something, but they sue newspapers over there all the time. People win all sorts of shit for libel laws. Whereas here, it's like, you know, we can go. I don't know. I think as long as it's under as long as you qualify it with allegedly, it's all fine.

We don't know. So I don't know. There's no proof. Whatever. So July of 2014, he's in court again. You know, soccer. We haven't mentioned in a long time. It's been a while.

It doesn't matter anymore. How does he have money? That's the thing. It's been a while. It doesn't matter anymore. How does he have money? That's the thing. He's at court. This is court for kicking his way into the door and breaking the kicking the elevator. Not the first one. This is the hotel. Not the first one.

This is another one. This is the second one. Yeah. He says representing him is his lawyer, Tom Roberts. The silver-haired middle-aged white man here says that the damage was, quote, at the lower end of culpability. I don't even know what that fucking means. This is ridiculous. Now, this is awesome.

The defense attorney goes to the judge and he says, quote, Mr. Ranger is not in a position of the vast majority of defendants before this court. They largely enjoy the public gaze anonymity when they leave the courts. That privilege is not afforded to Mr. Ranger by the virtue of his celebrity. And the district court, I gotta get his name because it's great,

District Judge Simon Cooper, which is very British, he says, quote, really? I've not heard of him. Which is just fucking hilarious. Really? Who the fuck is he?

No, no, who the fuck he is. So, I don't know. Sorry. I don't know. Sorry. I don't know what to tell you. He could walk right the fuck out of here in a second. I wouldn't know any other way. Who's that? Baby Spice?

No, I didn't think so. Okay, moving on. So, uh... I had to look at the paperwork to know his fucking name. I had no idea. What's he do? I don't know. So, his lawyer went on to say uh that that nile has received coverage in

the quote tabloid national press and that closed circuit tv of his incidents have been uploaded to youtube which they have and there are uh their comments made after the video by members of the general public not known by mr ranger he has to put up with that oh poor guy oh boy geez acting a fool in public and his videos of him acting like a nutcase and people can talk shit about that wow uh he is ordered to pay a fine and court costs of 750 and he's and he has to pay the landlord of that flat uh 2435 pounds for you know to fix the fucking door so basically nothing here's the thing though just as a pay for it we have a few accounts on social media that have tens of thousands of people that yeah coupled together there's all of it together there's probably 50 000 accounts that are associated with us that is 50 000 people that

have the ability to say horrible things to us if we act like assholes the difference is we don't fucking rape yeah they're not raping or kicking out door car windows or fucking acting a fool or kicking in doors while i'm dragging a woman by her hair. That never happens. And I guarantee you, if I walked into a court and my lawyer told the judge, by virtue of his celebrity,

the judge would probably say, who the fuck is he? I don't know who the fuck that guy is. Never heard of him. But you know what the difference is is that I don't act like an asshole. No, that's the thing. We save that for other podcast hosts.

So, August 16th, 2014, he's signed by a team. Somebody signs. What are you fucking signing? Wow. This is insane. Like, I will take a flyer on the guy. He's like two years. Wow.

He signed for a black pool of the championship league there. They have. I looked up. It says they have three nicknames they have the seasiders which seems to be what they're called the most the pool which is black pool i guess and the tangerines which one what i guess because they maybe they wear orange none of those are related i don't think they are but uh seasiders i guess is what they most call him uh so he signed with them august 16 2014. He's got another chance. Like, you

think he's just going to be, grab onto this with both hands and not fuck up. He makes two league appearances and then goes AWOL. Gone for weeks. Just fucking disappears. Doesn't show up one day, doesn't come back. Just out. There's something wrong with him, and I can't

believe nobody's figuring it out yet. Oh, he's got a fucking alcohol problem, amongst other things. But there's something something wrong with him and i can't believe nobody's figuring out he's got he's got a fucking alcohol problem amongst other things but there's something definitely wrong he's got he's got issues dude this guy needs more than just it's not just aa that's not gonna fix this doesn't need aa it doesn't need of six months in jail is not gonna fix this he needs some serious fucking psychological counseling alcohol counseling every day one on one yeah yeah he needs a team like yeah on seinfeld he needs a university at the university level they need to study him groups of people just discussing him and talking about him and figuring out what's wrong with him because that's all every goddamn day yeah it's fucking

ridiculous he's gone for weeks uh the blackpool manager lee clark who's not a happy man as you can imagine we sign a guy who's really good but a piece of shit out of it yeah not even know where the fuck he is take a chance on him and we're cool, this might work out, and then he's gone. He says, quote, if anyone can let us know where he is, send me a letter, and we will go from there. I don't know where he is. I haven't seen him for more than two weeks. He's been asked to report to training, and he's been asked to play in games, and he hasn't been seen. He may have been flying American Airlines.

Yep, he's in Dallas. Check DFW. Terminal A. Terminal A of DFW. It just keeps going. He's wandering in circles. Yeah. So this guy sends that out, the manager.

So rather than respond to his manager with a phone call or something, he tweets. Niall tweets. Yeah. He tweets, quote, I'm in London. Family issues. for the people that claim they don't know where i am exclamation point exclamation point could have done better

with a group text yeah what do for the people who click you didn't tell them where you were that's the thing you're not supposed to be where you are and you just disappeared so how the fuck are they supposed to know where you are the people that you're concerned about knowing where you are are clearly contacts in your phone. Yeah. All those people. I'm just going to tweet it out to people. That's your livelihood.

That's your paycheck. You fucking dipshit. He said he had to go back to London. He had family issues. That's it. Sorry. Family issues. Don't know what to tell you.

That's long and short. So by January, rather than just shit cannon, he's still on the team. They just begin to find him for each day that he was absent now. That's their new thing now. So for Blackpool, he ends up with 14 appearances total because he does come back later. And two goals for him. So that's something. In May of 2015, Blackpool releases 17 players following, I think, one of their leagues.

I think they dropped down a league. They release 17 players, but they extend Rangers. They hang on to him? They extend Niles' contract. How does Niles stick around? That's what he said. You know what he tweets after that? He retweets the thing of them picking him up,

and he tweets capital letters, really? Question mark, exclamation point. Shocked that they fucking activated the option on this contract. I kept my job. He said, are you kidding? They're keeping me? I can just do this? I can just not show up for, never mind get arrested. At least before the one night he got arrested, he was there the

next day tearing his hamstring. At least he was showing up. This one, he's just like, I'm not even coming to your fucking team. Like, he's gotten progressively worse here. He says he would, then he said he would return to the club for pre-season training and participation for the next year and didn't show up yeah at all uh until he shows up finally on january or july 28th by which point they had already played four exhibition games like he did not even for training camp he showed up like

in the middle of pre-season he's like all right let's let's go regular season what are we doing here guys the fuck man that is great he's out of his mind so he makes an apology to the team okay britain apology out loud to the team not on twitter or anything he says and i quote i have seen two of my good friends pass away whilst overcoming this it has made me realize that life is really short and I have been taking things for granted. I would like to use this opportunity to thank Southampton, Newcastle, Swindon and Blackpool for giving me the chance to experience the dream of being a professional footballer. To add to this, I would like to apologize to everyone at these clubs, including management players, staff and fans. I should have given more and been a better role model.

I would also like to add I'm sorry to my current teammates at Blackpool for being missing for a long period of time and not attending preseason and putting in the hard work during this time. Truth be told, I'm just a young boy who's been living the dream and playing a game which I do love and miss deeply and hope that one day I'll be able to get back on a pitch and play because life is really too short. Boy, he's dumb. Translated translated to american english i'm good now yeah i'm fucking good now it's all good i'm fine it's cool uh i think he looked at his bank account that's what i think i think it was sobering that's what happens to every time you see athletes fucking up and

fucking up and then they're broke and they're like you know what i really would like to i'd like to go back to when i you know remember when my bank had her money let me open up my heart yeah let me open up my heart to you speaking of that r kelly has six hundred dollars i just read today no fucking way six hundred dollars apparently he had a bunch of bank accounts with like little bits in it and uh he owed two hundred thousand dollars in back rent and they drained all his fucking bank accounts and he has six hundred dollars to his name in one of his bank accounts that's all he has yeah and he still owes 50 grand to some landlord and a bunch of other people and his lawyer he's got 300 million dollars yeah he's got six hundred dollars in the bank oh my god so fucking you better believe you can fly because

you're gonna need to at some point to do something pray to christ you can fly i'm telling you man to do something pray to christ you can fly i'm telling you man so december 29th 2015 he's good now uh he has a another land rover i don't know how he's got a car at all it's all personalized and you know he jacked it all up it is set ablaze by vandals oh burns to fucking cinders gone just fucking big fireball out of there awesome awesome fucking amazing right if anybody deserves it what the fuck right he's fucked over four different teams now he's beaten women he knocked a guy the guy deserved it who called him fucking names or talk shit about don't talk shit to an athlete about what he's doing you want to say hi to an athlete just go how you doing i'm a fan of what you do or i like watching you play and walk the fuck away don't be like hey asshole

what are you fucking shitty football? They don't need that shit. If you're going to say anything to them that's going to be negative, yeah, be fucking fine. Clever, clever somewhere.

Something clever that they might actually laugh at or that everyone around can be like, hey, he's obviously just fucking around. Take it easy. But don't just be like, hey,

fuck you. You, I don't know what a black racist. I mean, I don't know what. Yeah, maybe. I don't know what a black. I'm i don't know what yeah maybe i don't

know what a black i'm sure racist term and i don't know i'm sure it's an n word it's a baby i'm pretty sure that's pretty common everywhere yeah probably i don't know though that's my more that might be more american i think that's in africa is probably not a thing yeah well i doubt but no but that's what richard pryor says anyway really he says that's why he liked going to Africa oh because the word's not there nobody ever called him that's what he said is that Pryor or Muhammad Ali one of the two I don't remember they're both fucking I just assume that's probably true it's one of the two yeah they said that's not since I've been here not one time I guess not that's very funny so I mean he's done all this shit he's fucked over these people i i the fans

have to be upset i kind of honestly i kind of feel bad for him almost with the car at this point because that was on call for but i actually don't but you know who i really feel bad for not nearly as bad as i feel for i couldn't find any other nile ranger yeah but there's niles i found a man named david nile who is a ranger oh no close enough close enough like a like a like a park ranger david nile comma ranger so i'm like close enough for me the hockey team nope just david nile a a Ranger. Where at? In England. That's fantastic. Like, this is fucking amazing. So why not? That's amazing.

So February 2nd, 2016, Blackpool announces that Ranger had left the club. Yeah. So he's finally gone. The apology didn't quite stick with him here. Doesn't have any appearances that year, 2015-16. August 3rd, 2016, South End United announ that they signed ranger to a one-year contract jesus this guy's the luckiest fuck on earth oh my god they are the shrimpers or the blues they call them also the seasiders they just call everybody the seasiders what the fuck is that

it's an island i guess they call you by your color the blues or the tangerines or whatever the fuck but the shrimpers the seasiders that's where it's all very that's true it's all an island i guess they call you by your color the blues or the tangerines or whatever the fuck but the shrimpers the seasiders it's weird it's all very that's true it's all an island he made his debut 13 days later uh he uh he in a win uh he's substituted with an injury halfway through the first half because he hurts himself yeah he said about this uh he said this is he was trying to get his shit back together here and he says uh quote i woke up one morning in the summer and thought what am i doing i looked in the mirror and i saw myself getting a bit of a belly i remember going for a hill run and playing power league with my mates and i was blowing after one run not his mates yeah air yeah i said nah i've got to sort it out

i believe i've grown up now well maybe he didn now. But maybe he didn't mean that. Maybe he didn't mean that. After I blew a couple of my mates, I was like, I don't know. I don't think I've got it anymore. I don't think I've got it right. It took a while. But the last line is, I believe I've grown up now,

which is, he might as well have said, I'm good now. Yeah, this is as British as it gets for him. I'm total British. I'm good now. So, yeah, he scores his first goals for the Shrimpers there. November 12th, he scores two goals, one'm good now. So, yeah, he scores his first goals for the Shrimpers there.

November 12th, he scores two goals, one in each half. All right. Not too shabby. On December 1st, they're so satisfied with him, they sign him to a new contract that commits them till 2020. So he's not got arrested for a month. Let's give him a four or five year deal. Jumping the gun a little bit, Chief, I think.

So December 2016, that was, by the way, they signed him in November 2016. That's what I mean. His timing is comedically beautiful. It's impeccable. December of 2016, he is arrested and charged with conspiracy to defraud and conspiracy to commit money laundering. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. In respect to offenses alleged to have been committed in February 2015, they are charges of conspiracy to defraud by obtaining bank details and transferring money illegally from other people's accounts.

He's just stealing money. He's just electronically stealing money from people because he needs fucking money. stealing money from people because he needs fucking money uh the court hears that he conspired to use the bank details of a woman named diane bloss uh to move 2,090 pounds from one account to another this is not worth that that's what he's doing uh yeah and we were right he's got no money he's got no fucking money yeah during the proceedings here they they talk about how he obtained the details of her online hsbc account and transferred the money uh into another account the prosecutor told the court quote there was a transfer uh through an account belonging to an innocent third party so he like wandered it through

put in mom's account he washed it to himself so he didn't connect right to him because he's a fucking started to set somebody else up for it. Basically, there are two parts of the fraud that just makes it double fraud at that point. The fraud to acquire her details and what happened next with the money. So twice fraudulent and money laundering. All that shit makes sense. So January of 2017, he ends up pleading guilty of conspiracy to defraud. He has to do that because this isn't shit where it's funny because when you're when you're shit-faced and you wake up on the side of the

road in a crashed car you can say i had no intent of driving right this is just electronic no choice but there's not even i don't want to hear what you say i'm looking at a paper right and you put this to here to there and that's all illegal so here's the story shoulder shrug sorry that's it you're done there's nothing that can be a plausible story at this point this type of business shit it's like you get in trouble like in the u.s you get in trouble with like the sec these guys trading it's just on paper right you're bernie madoff you're going to fucking jail like they just go hey look at all this numbers and then you're done that's it there's no opinion there's no i don't know if he

was thinking that or what do you know it doesn't matter what he's thinking black and white because this money moved here here here here all wound up in his bank somehow he ended up with all of it looks like he stole it fuck off didn't happen by accident they go hey did you give that to him on purpose no stolen there you go so uh he pleads guilty to conspiracy to defraud but denied a charge of money laundering which they end they just kind of let lie they didn't they didn't push it for some reason here. I don't understand it. His defense attorney, a different, wow, this is a name right here.

This is a silver-haired, middle-aged white man, Angus Bunyan. Angus Bunyan? Is it Paul's cousin? It's spelled B-U-N-Y-A-N, like Paul Bunyan. It's Angus Bunyan. Wasn't Bunyan O-N? I think so. I don't fucking remember. It doesn fuck it doesn't matter probably spelled in different ways into whatever but this is british cousin angus bunyan comes to court with an axe on his shoulder dragging a blue lock i'm angus bunyan

who wants to speak with me about my client uh yeah he says about old angus says quote he is 25 and though he has some previous convictions the only fuck the only serious one was more than 10 years ago he's only 25 only 25 so he just brushed all that shit we just talked about he just said some previous convictions but only one serious one the armed robbery when he was 15 that's the one that's what he said only serious one 10 years ago or more is what he said so basically he just whitewashed his entire last fucking 10 years of nothing but being arrested every other month he's like he's a good guy 10 years ago he did one thing but who cares uh they're like i don't think so here uh so uh yeah he pleads guilty to that we'll talk sentencing comes later we'll talk about that february of 2017 he is

suspended from the team for admitting cocaine and mdma use he's doing drugs that's that makes sense yeah yeah all this yeah a lot of fucking sense now it's all balanced it all is balanced he goes to the club he gets all fucked up he's drinking he's got drugs in his system he's acting like a fucking lunatic now it makes sense why he's fucking crazy. Yeah, they went to do drug tests, and he went, I'm not taking that drug test because I did coke and MDMA. And so he just admits to it rather than take the test and be busted fucking cold scientifically for it.

Who knows? Yeah, who knows here? He does have eight appearances. I'm sorry, 27 appearances and eight goals that year uh which is not bad in 2016 17 we should have been doing coke earlier but yeah yeah well it comes here uh jesus christ really maybe that's the key you got to be on ecstasy when you're running around the field i just want to touch that dude over there and then kick the ball i think it would feel really good pumping all that music i want to feel his shirt that looks cool and then i really want to kick that ball hard the boo feels so good right now it's so cool oh the vibration right in my chest hey ranger

what are you doing just lying on the grass man it feels good i can count every blade in my back feel it on your skin no take your pants off seriously feel it on your skin you're in the middle of fucking game. Put your pants up. Jesus Christ. So good. May 23rd, 2017 is sentencing for the financial crime here. The conspiracy to defraud here. And finally, finally, you, sir, may fuck off eight months in prison, which still isn't that much, but at least it's something. That's his biggest sentence. It is.

This is his biggest. He's been arrested 300 times, and this is his biggest fucking sentence. Wow. Eight months. Also, a Shawnee Duncan, who's 19, was handed a prison sentence of eight months for the same thing. was handed a prison sentence of eight months for the same thing and a rianne morgan uh didn't get any prison time at all after the case against him was dropped due to lack of evidence so rianne is a dude rianne is a dude and it's r-e-a-n-n-e like r-e-n so what about shawnee and that's a dude too everybody here's a dude brits have the busiest names yes that is that's not a that's not a

tough name that's not a man name hey rianne no come here shawnee yeah it's it's a weird a shawnee at least that's kind of ethnic rianne is a fucking it's like a girl's country singer name that's terrible you know what he wants that it's leanne with an R. Right. Leanne has big fat hips and some thighs on her. Big platinum wall of hair on her and everything else.

It's terrible. Fucking awful. She rests that six string right on her big thighs. She's currently fucking Blake Shelton. So I only know who he is because I see him

on magazines all the time if you go to the grocery store. The worst. He seems like just an awful man. So many jeans that were already ripped when he bought them. I hate him. What a douchebag. So, yeah.

So, he goes in jail. Yeah. He's actually in jail. While he's in jail, he posts a tribute to a dead player on Instagram. Yeah. You're not allowed to post anything on. You're not allowed to do anything like that while you're in jail. Oh, yeah. That's a good point. You're not allowed to have phones on, you're not allowed to do anything like that while you're in jail. Oh yeah,

that's a good point. You're not allowed to have phones and post. How do you do that? Yeah, it's, well, here's the quote,

it is a criminal offense to bring a mobile phone into prison or transmit sounds or images from within a prison using a mobile phone. These offenses carry

a maximum penalty of two years in prison. Uh oh. Not good, which is more than he did. He's only got eight months. Yeah, you know what they do?

Eh, shoulder shrug, fuck it. It's just one time, James. They let him out August 11th. Wow. Ten weeks he's only got eight months yeah you know what they do that shoulder shrug fuck it it's just one time james they let him out august 11th wow uh 10 weeks he's in two and a half eight months he got 10 weeks two and a half months he does god he's so good at criming he's amazing he really is good at it it's pretty impressive uh he's released after 10 weeks of his sentence uh due to quote his consistently excellent custodial behavior. Except for that phone.

Except for the phone. And he will be remaining under curfew for the next five weeks. He's got an ankle bracelet and all that shit for monitoring. Now, upon his release, his team, South End, put out a statement, quote, Nile may regard himself as fortunate, but we will remain under an evening home curfew for the next five to six weeks. So, in other words he may think he's doing great but he's not going to be able to play yeah for a while i'm gonna keep an

eye on him with these cameras and monitors it's all on closed circuits so don't worry about it he starts tweeting oh is what he does he says quote old boy done me dirty with capital dirty uh but i'm happy i'm out of that shithole and ready to go back to what I do best with a picture of a soccer ball. Then, quote, by the way, I'll tell you his Twitter at in a little while because it's funny. Thank God for all the support I had backing me, family and South End United Capital, Phil Brown, Ron Martin and my agent and squad capital there. capital uh there uh on that note why has instagram deactivated my account for saying r.i.p to a fellow teammate when my pa was handling my account how do you have a personal assistant yeah motherfucker you don't have money and you're in jail and you haven't worked in forever how the fuck do you have a personal assistant in other words the chick i let my hold my fucking phone

who i'm fucking dragging by the hair currently right she put it out she paid for it listen she paid for posting that because i got solitaire for seven minutes no shit believe me i i told her i was torture i gave her the what for it i don't think i did in the back with the back of my hand he fucking you know he was on the phone probably with her and he said yo tweet this shit yeah from prison and the phone probably with her. And he said, yo, tweet this shit from prison. And she was like, okay, or Instagram. And he said, all right, sure. Team wants him to play.

He has a bracelet on his ankle here. So the coach of the team or manager said, it's a complicated situation. The lad is under curfew from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. where he's more or less under house arrest. The chairman has been working really hard tirelessly in the background to get a hold of governors to help them understand that being a professional footballer is a different type of job. It's not a nine to five job. And we're away at Shrewsbury for a 745 kickoff tonight. So we're still working on it. He's actually on the team bus. We're traveling now. I'm hopefully going to get some good news this morning that he's okay.

If not, we'll have to go on without him. You're saying that the team is trying to convince the judge, like, you know, you can't. That's a bad. Put him on different hours because that's not the hours he works. We're not bankers. And they're like, yeah, at night is when we don't want him out. That's the point. That's where his problems are. He's been arrested 50 times. 48 of. We work at night. They're not going to work for us. And they're like, yeah, at night is when we don't want them out. That's the point. That's where his problems are.

He's been arrested 50 times. 48 of them have been at night. So it was an issue. We were looking at the numbers. We were doing a little. They all start 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. Just going on an overview. If we chart the whole thing.

We were looking at the numbers. Give the numbers a quick once over and i gotta tell you they're plotting a chart that's awesome what we found is that your hours are a fucking problem to this guy it's not gonna work sorry oh man so he's gonna miss long distance trips uh so they're trying to get the shit removed uh they say in a couple weeks time we've got fleetwood away and we're trying everything we possibly can travel wise to get him back in time. It stinks.

Really? We're in League One. We've got a budget to follow and Niall fits in that budget. He's a big player for us. We have this guy won't stop getting arrest. Stop. I don't know. Don't sign the guy who's what the fuck?

He's on a rape charge when you sign him. You brought this upon yourselves. First of all, secondly, don't blame the judge and the courts blame your fucking guy that you brought upon yourself you signed him while he was in for like you had to know there was problems here and what he did rather than going he's got to serve his debt to society and you know what it's that is what it is he's still human and uh is subject to the same laws that you and I are. And he's going to serve that. And we feel stupid because we took this responsibility on.

We're going to take a hard line with him. We were doing the numbers. Looking at the numbers. To be honest here, we're going over his picture with a pencil, like one of those fucking accountant visors on. It's on us, you guys. It's on us. We did this. My bad.

That's the most silver thing I've ever heard it stinks really yeah we have him and we give him money and he's still not we can't play uh so uh yeah he uh he's the 7 p.m curfew like we said he can't make evening kickoffs uh september 22nd uh the tag is removed finally and he's included in the squad to play an away game at Fleetwood. He scored a goal in a 4-2 win and how does he celebrate that goal? He takes his shoe off and uses it like a machine gun on the crowd like does one of those

which is not allowed to do. I think it's silly. Who cares what they do but you're not allowed to do any of that in the NFL. They don't let you do any gun right any kind of don't even let you run your thumb across the neck. You can't make any gun gestures nothing no shit like that uh so he uh yeah he mimicked it like a machine gun like he held it down by his waist and did that to the crowd uh which was a bad stupid he got a lot of just for him yeah he should as a guy that's a criminal he should keep his fucking head if i was that guy even if i if

even if i was me and i don't care about this shit at all i'd i guess score a goal and i'd quietly do the sign of the cross and walk to the fucking sideline i'm a nice guy i'm not bothering anybody fuck off so jesus christ january 4th 2018 his contract with the club is finally terminated because of quote recurring disciplinary issues which shocks fucking no one. He says, quote, I've been sacked from a few clubs, which is obviously not good, but I haven't been in trouble for ages. He was just in prison six months ago. South End only got rid of me for late, which was stupid on my part. He was late all the time.

It's self-inflicted, but I do know what I have to do. I've got to be earliest to training. I've got to be earliest into training and leave latest i'm i i am i grown up so i should know better than that i've got to sort myself out yeah for the fifth fucking time right again you don't have to be the earliest and the latest just don't be late but maybe do be the earliest and latest probably good yeah but you'd never done that before you can just blend in and be there on time and no one will fucking bother you that's the other thing so uh yeah for south end united he has 13 2017 2018 season 13 appearances and one goal for them uh 2018 in october he's training with oxford

oxford is at the bottom of the third tier yeah so they're fucking that's not good they're buried yeah they're they're awful uh they they train they welcome him to train with the team yeah uh although the carl robinson the manager said that the club are quote a million miles away from offering him a deal uh he says this is fucking awesome he says quote everything he's done in life i totally disagree with which is great i can at no stage protect him i just believe in giving people a chance he has never done anything great but you know what he can sure play ball you know i really need a good soccer player and that's what this is about and have you seen my hair right silver's fuck understand this shit so how do you do with the oxford dictionary well he jesus christ he said, he phoned me last week.

He drove two hours to meet us in London last week before the Charlton game, and he almost begged for that opportunity. He gives me his word the second something derogatory happens while he's training with me or something I don't agree with happens, that he'll be gone. It's not something I'm going to do right away.'s got to prove to me that that he can be uh that he can be in on time he's got to prove to me that he's fit and that he can fit into this team he's got to prove to the fans that he's in a better place than he's been before if he comes here he'll have to have an impact on local kids as well if he comes i'd want him going to into local schools once a week talking about the things he's done and the mistakes he's made and the reasons why he's done it and telling kids why it doesn't work which he fucking should be doing because they're

gonna he's a kid who's a cut up they'll listen to him maybe uh he says quote we're a million miles away from anything and i'm i'm a long way from being decided on what i want to do with the situation uh i don't know man i don't know that i want my techno just looking at my kid yeah i don't want a dude with face tattoos giving him life lessons. Yeah, but if you got a rough group of kids that's fucking up, and they're 14, and they're getting arrested, and you bring him out there, and you go, yo, I'm fucking my life up, man. You're not even as good at soccer as me, and I still am a fuck up. Imagine what you're going to be in 10 years.

Get your fucking head out of your ass. At least I've got a job where I's financially uh i'm financially capable of making mistakes yeah bouncing back if you get that plumbing job you're a banker you make a couple mistakes you're fucked you're fucked mister you get a face tattoo on top of that you're extra fun so october of 2018 he speaks about how he's interested in opening an academy he says as soon as he proves that he's learned through his mistakes he said quote if I said I wanted to do a Nile Ranger Academy I was looking

at helping my cousin do the this Academy thing I'm thinking what kids are going to turn up I have to sort my image first and I have two season and have two seasons clean then I can start doing that saying if he doesn't fuck up for two years you can start doing an academy where people will pay him to teach their children soccer.

What a plan. You haven't made two years without a mistake since you were 15. Yeah, just go to an academy. Two years. He barely goes two months, this fucking guy. It was like three times in a month. He's crazy. November 27, 2018, it is announced that he will not be joining oxford united uh they do not

agree to terms on a deal uh the he's been without a club since january of the year he was training and uh he no doesn't doesn't work out no uh he says quote great club unfortunately we didn't agree on terms yeah and he's out there now looking for a team. So if you've got a soccer team and you need a striker, this is your fucking guy. He might show up. He might show up. Can't get enough Nile Ranger? No.

I honestly can't. This guy's crazy as shit. There's one woman. There's a few women. A few women who can get plenty of him. You can follow him on Twitter. He is at Nile Power Ranger. No way. Yes, he is.

I was waiting to tell you that. Fuck out of here. I saw the look on him. I've been waiting for that look for two and a half hours to get for that look to come. He is in that era. Yeah. Nile Power Ranger. That was everything to him when he was eight.

That is incredible. Nile Power Ranger. He must have loved it that his last name was Ranger. Yeah. He goes, this is fucking awesome. Call me Power. How did he not put Power on one eyebrow and Ranger on the other? He missed it.

And he worked. Or at least on the side. fucking up he played soccer for a man named power that is amazing power ranger yeah there you go uh his little twitter you know one sentence thing is just keep 100 which is awful his location is everywhere that's scary which is fantastic he is he follows 350 people he has 46 200 followers he's doing great he's fucking crazy so they tweet everyone follows him to find out what he's going to do next he's spelling his name out and money he's doing crazy shit he's dennis rodman of twitter like he's dennis rodman pac-man jones uh divided by i don't know gavin grant or marlon king sorry marlon king not gavin grant Gavin Grant's just a murderer.

Marlon King is the one punching women and acting a fool in nightclubs and shit like that. Also, on eBay UK, the UK version of eBay, you can get an 8x12 signed picture of him on Newcastle for £22.99. That's a

lot. Yeah, £22.99. And £8.45 for postage. so uh not to the u.s though suck on that it's probably dangling yeah over here it's probably more that is niall ranger oh boy that is a fucking tail boy he's dangerous he is dangerous man are we we're in a golden time of crime and sports right now we've had some crazy shit stories lately like we're just in there we're hitting a groove of these people right now and it's awesome uh yeah this is this is this was fun it's too much it's too much man he's a mess how does so much for white privilege babe that man is a black man and he has done more than i've ever done i feel like in england it's not a matter of race it's soccer privilege like it like in England, it's not a matter of race. It's soccer privilege.

It's literally soccer privilege. It's just if you are good at soccer, you can do anything you fucking want over there. It's insane. Benefit of the doubt for everything. It feels like all of our sports are wrapped up into that one there. So it's like everyone is a silver-haired, middle-aged white man there. Whereas we, in this country, it seems like if you play professional sports you're putting like an an extra pressure you

fuck up you are legit going to jail oh yeah they're looking to fucking they can't wait because you didn't have to fuck up that's the point you have everything going for you you're rich and you're fucking famous and everybody kisses your ass you don't have to commit crime right that's the problem everybody wants to blow you constantly constantly man it's fucking crazy so that is nile ranger if you like that i know what you can do please please go on um itunes apple podcast the purple icon and give us five stars it really helps drive us up the charts uh it doesn't matter what you say tell us you're following instructions following directions we don't care right now head over to shut up and give me murder.com for all of your

merchandising needs plenty of stuff there new stuff new stuff coming out all the time also upcoming tour dates get your tickets for that do you want to use them uh not yet maybe no you could drop a couple maybe throw a word like tampa around yeah look a little like a tampa like a pittsburgh you throw in st louis a des moines you throw out there a milwaukee those it's fucking bizarre things like that you know there's some cool words and uh there's a lot more than that but those are some new ones that are that are being uh kicked around the schedule it looked like they're pretty close so uh yeah a couple others too uh north carolina where you at orlando it's up with that shit? Somebody get a Casey

Anthony there. Yeah, Salt Lake City. Hey, what about that? Do you want to go back to Denver? I want to go back to Denver. Yeah, they got legal weed. I'll be there every goddamn day. What are we doing, Denver again? Great. Let's go. Fucking two-hour flight and legal weed. I'm there, babe. Let's do it. So we'll see you guys soon.

So we'll see you soon. Yeah, follow us on social media at Crime and Sports. You can follow that right from the website. That's Crime and Sports on Twitter and Facebook. And on Instagram, it's at Small Town Murder because it's more popular. Sorry. And they seem to be more lenient with words. They are.

Yes, it is. So please do all of that. If you want to be a gigantic fucking heroic person of ours that we're really sorry we don't have the list of producers. But honestly, unless Jimmy brought it with him to Dallas and everything else, that's the only way we would have had it right now. We raced here from the airport to sit down immediately and record this. I paid to get into the United Club today at the airport. We're stuck for five hours in Houston so I could finish this fucking episode and have Wi-Fi. So it cost me $60

to have Wi-Fi. How did you not sit there and laugh maniacally in the United Club about this shit? I was. I was. They didn't throw you out? I was looking at a guy next to me like, can you believe this shit? He had no idea. I was like, never mind. He just looked at me like, huh? I don't even think he was... I don't know

what country he was from. He had weird white glasses on. He wasn't from here. He just looked at me like, huh? I don't even think he was. I don't know what country he was from. He had like weird white glasses on. He wasn't from here. He was a Brit. I don't know. No, no. He's some sort of something else. Somewhere else? Yeah.

Like Ghana? Lower. Somewhere the Brits would make fun of. Like a European country that they would make fun of. Yeah. No, he was like two wild and crazy guys kind of thing. Oh, so Yugoslavic shit? That's the vibe I got off him.

Eastern European. Okay. Got a nice carpet of hair under there. Oh, so Yugoslavic shit? That's the vibe I got off him. Eastern European. Okay. Got a nice carpet of hair under there. And, you know, yeah. Me and my brother, we pick up women tonight. We go to discotheque and pick them up. Very good. So, yeah, follow us on all the social media.

Yeah, be one of our hero producers. You can do that right from the site or head over to Patreon dot com slash crime and sports or head over to PayPal and use our email address, which is crime and sports at Gmail dot com. And you can make a one time donation there. And God damn it. We appreciate it so much. And we will we'll tell you exactly how much we appreciate it on Thursday. Small town murder during that producer segment, because Jimmy will have time to retrieve his uh his list by then give you all the credit that you're due and owed because it's it's it's something when you when you can go into uh

an airport and have everything go just awry and have zero plan of rebound for that issue and then somehow being able to book uh three three flights yeah that's how i got to nashville three extra flights three flights from dallas to hou how I got to Nashville. Three extra flights. It's three flights from Dallas to Nashville, which isn't that far. Booked right now. Yeah.

You know, you don't, that is not a very affordable way No, it's crazy. of planning a trip. Yeah. And you guys came to, you truly saved me.

Yeah. And thank you so much. The show doesn't happen without you. No, it really doesn't. It doesn't. So thank you guys we saved our asses would have had dan cummins and james telling a story which would have been a

great thing didn't jimmy didn't show up i was going to force dan onto the stage because he was there and i was just going to announce him be like bearded ass up here fucker move it you got a beard too yeah they won't know they're clapping for you dan that means you got to come up asshole let's go some of them are so drunk they'll'll be like, Jimmy sounds way different. Yeah, Jimmy's tall now. I thought Jimmy was the short one. What's going on? They're both 6'4"?

What the fuck? He's got a lot more color in his tattoos than I remember. Yeah, this is super weird. But no, thank you for that. Thank you for everything at the live show in Nashville. You guys were super, you were amazing to us. We really appreciate it. What if people want to say hello to you and tell you that they appreciate you or whatever?

They want to call you a rapist so you can kick in their taxi doing whatever they got to do you find me at wisman sucks whisman sucks on twitter instagram and snapchat and again it's uh it's really it's fucking humbling and a pleasure to really be able to be involved with you guys and actually be able to write back so i I'm doing my best. It's not easy, but I'm trying. Where can they find you and not get a hold of you? Oh, you can find me very easily at Jimmy P is funny and on the sites there. Or you can copy and paste my last name from the show description if you want to find me that way because you won't spell it right. So just do that.

Make it easy on yourself. But with that said, holy shit, what a while. The last couple of weeks of crime and sports have been great. And then we had Jim Neidhardt. It's been a lot of crazy. Last month has been so fun. It's been a lot of fun. We're going to keep it going because our list is so fucking thick with all sorts of good ones.

I've been saving up these good ones so we wouldn't be, you know. We got some updates coming. Yeah, we got updates coming. We have a whole lot of stuff coming. So keep on tuning in every goddamn week live from the Crime and Sports studios. We will see you next week. Bye. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music.

Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Bing! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything.

You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone. OK, so, um. This is not a so.

This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am.

I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award- winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season. It's streaming, you can say anything. Judy Justice, only on Freebie.