Crime in Sports - #166 - No Concept Of Failure - The Delusionalness of Lenny Dykstra

Episode Date: June 25, 2019

This week, we dip back into the crazy waters of a man that we covered in our first year of the show. Problem is, he's lived more than an episode of his insane existence since that time, so we've had to circle back, and pick up the pieces. What more has he done? Wrote a crazy book, been arrested a LOT, accused Charlie Sheen of murder, and ruined an otherwise quaint New Jersey neighborhood, to name just a few. He's a menace, and we are all the beneficiaries, because we get to explore this wild tale!! Be a World Series hero, become a financial genius, then claim bankruptcy & scam everyone you can, and expose yourself to potential employees with Lenny Dykstra!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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in sports at gmail.com you can make a one-time donation there and both of those links you can get to right out right from shut up and give me murder.com right so let's do this because my god is this a lot this was the most most work the most notes i've ever had this is all week this took me this is a lot lenny dykstra everybody yes part two it's not really a part two because we're going to encompass the the first part also our first episode we were trying in the beginning we didn't know if anybody cared so we were trying to keep them to like an hour we figured we don't know how long we can hold these people's attention for and they might want to turn it off we didn't know this was like three years ago over three years ago this episode happened and since then seems like the day after we put out the episode he has gone on an insane ride

of basically every week he's doing something else insane and getting arrested and doing this and doing nutty shit his book came out with a bunch of crazy shit that he said so there's so much to talk about we're gonna breeze through the baseball stuff pretty quickly because we did it on the first episode and honestly would you rather hear about uh him smoking crack and having crazy prostitute parties with charlie sheen or about his 1987 uh slugging percentage i don't know which one you'd rather hear about but i'm going to assume sounds a little kind of interesting that's what rather hear about but i'm going to assume it sounds a little kind of interesting that's what i'm saying so we're going to kind of kind of go go more toward the salacious on this one because you can because there's so i had to pick and choose like

well you know the episode's going to be five hours long yeah if we don't get some of this shit out here let's get started lenny dykstra leonard kyle dykstra it's not how he was born though no he was born leonard kyle He was born Leonard Kyle Leswick, actually. That was his last name. That was his last name. We didn't go over this last time because we were trying to do a quick episode here, but we'll get into this. He's born February 10, 1963, in Santa Ana, California. His parents are Jerry and Marilyn Leswick.

There's no Dykstra in there, as as you notice and we'll get into why he is the middle there's three sons he's the middle child he has two two brothers uh kevin and brian are his brothers his mother says of him quote he was the cryingest baby i ever had he just came out that way is what she said so they usually do ma'am well yeah crying and never stopped apparently and he he's this constant movement if you don't if you didn't hear the first episode and you don't said so they usually do ma'am yeah well yeah crying and never stopped apparently and he he's this constant movement if you don't if you didn't hear the first episode and you don't know who lenny dykstra is and this is all new i don't know how you've missed him in the news lately because he's he's everywhere this guy does not stop being a complete fucking disaster like we

often play asshole or idiot is this guy an asshole or an idiot he is both yeah to the 10 of 10 on both indeed it's a i don't know how you would do that even his bass and his treble are both all Is this guy an asshole or an idiot? He is both. Yeah, for sure. Ten of ten on both. Indeed. I don't know how you would do that, even. His bass and his treble are both all the way up. It's just blowing out speakers left and right. You can't do that. His bass and treble. Way up there.

He's a disaster. He's just a lot of noise. That's what he is. That's exactly what he is. A lot of static noise. It's super weird, man. Three of his uncles played in the NHL. His father's brothers are Pete, Jack, and Tony Leswick.

They all played in the NHL. I think Pete is the one who had a really long, good career, too. They all had a little career, but Pete, I think, was the one that was really the guy there. Now, Jerry, his dad, left the family when lenny was just a baby so he leaves the family and back then a lot of times it was like a similar to a brady bunch situation if the father just left and didn't want shit to do with the kids and the mother remarried they'd just pretend that the kids would take the that guy's last name and they just pretend that everything was uh you're you know we're just a family yeah that's fine and that's what they did then basically uh maryland meets a guy named

dennis dykstra who uh worked for the at the time both of them worked for the pacific telephone company the two maryland and uh dennis dykstra and dennis was recently divorced as well and he had three young daughters and she has three young sons how about this and it's a literally exact brady bunch situation and with uh it's funny too because lenny would be more like a bobby but he's a middle child so it's it's odd but uh yeah they in dykstra they all the boys take the dykstra name yeah and they become dykstra's and that's that so they dennis go by denny denny dykstra that's that would be a good name. That's horrible.

Denny Dykstra. His mother says, or Dennis says of him, who he always from this point on refers to as his father. There's never a stepfather. His father, like later on when he's famous and people do articles about his family, they don't even mention. Really? This was hard to find. It's all Dennis. It's all Dennis.

It's his father, Dennis. Dennis Dykstra, you know, blah, blah, blah blah they talk about his parents worked at the telephone company and met there they act like it just never happened before that i mean i'm sure that nobody was hiding it but maybe lenny acts like that too i think just in the newspapers yeah they didn't it sounded nicer to just say they met at the phone company and right you know rather than this other backstory that you'd have to tell because these were fluff pieces they were putting this in his father here dennis says of him quote he never sat still as a kid either so if you've ever seen that uh lenny dykstra he does not stop moving and jittering and mumbling and fidgeting and he's just he's got like five cell phones that

he's on and a bluetooth and three laptops and money's tumbling out of his pockets and he's got handcuffs dangling from one wrist it's just a disaster uh he's he's slippery he's a slippery one his father says of him quote i used to threaten to nail his feet to the ground he gets bored so easily about the only thing he'll sit for is a movie but it better be a good movie if not he'll get up and walk right out of the theater so he's just very restless which i can understand yeah i'm the same way also that part about the movie i can't walk out fast enough oh i can't do that i have a hard time sitting still a bad movie that's why like when we go on the road when we do live shows that's why i need to smoke weed because to sit there for two hours i just get up and wander off after a half hour like i gotta go i'm fucking i gotta move around a little bit so that's the keeps me grounded so uh it's he was also kind of a mischievous kid which is not

surprising that makes sense because he's always into some shit as we know um his mother said quote he was a really good kid people probably can't believe that now that she said this in the mid 90s this is before his major transgressions but it's true he was colorful maybe a little mischievous but he wasn't a bad boy colorful yeah it's an interesting way to i like that phrasing yeah that's it's like saying he's a sly child he's he's very crafty sometimes he's slick he's slick and yeah it very, very ambiguous wording there. Colorful, maybe a little mischievous, not a bad boy. He was always very aggressive, very assertive, a leader.

I know that he's gotten himself into a little trouble since then and that everyone makes a big deal out of it. But that's not the way. But he's not the way people think. His mother says he was a good student. He always got straight A's. This is what his mother says he was a good student he always got straight a's this is what his mother says and his father goes relax literally he was like no you're you got rosy memories here love him mom we get it it's fine come on his father puts it a different way he says quote you've been around him you've seen his ability to focus and concentrate

and how he prepares himself for every game well that's because lenny is interested in baseball he studies it he devours everything he can about it he's like a genius at it but you can ask him who the president of the united states is and he might not know that's because he's not interested in politics he never used to be interested in business either but now he makes so much money he started to think about that this is obviously at a different time now you have lunch with him and there are bankers and accountants there and lenny's just thinking right along with them just to talk to him you might think he's stupid but when lenny gets interested in something he gets smart in a hurry yeah so that's what it is when

he's fascinated with something that can make him money or it can be a benefit to his life he learns every fucking thing he's focused so yeah baseball i mean it's all i'm gonna care about it's baseball baseball baseball i don't give a shit about anything else and this that's it he's obsessive is what it is so guys like that or people like that in general can go far in a certain field because you you need to be obsessive about shit to do well so uh but not in he's just not a guy who has a lot of general base of knowledge we'll put it there's a great quote later on from one of his teammates about how he's good at baseball but kind of an idiot and it's the greatest quote i've ever heard in my life so uh one of his stunts as a kid or that he used to do

all the time as a kid was steal a fire extinguisher and spray people outside disneyland from the seat of his from the passenger seat of a car that's a a prank? That's a prank. Nowadays, that would get you put in Guantanamo fucking Bay. That'd get you beat with that fire extinguisher. Domestic terrorism now. You'd be in federal prison. Yeah, that's what I mean. You'd be in deep shit,

but they used to pull up, I guess, people walking out of Disneyland. You used to be able to pull right up and spray them with a fire extinguisher. Oh, what an asshole. Which puts a terrible ending to your day. Yeah, that ruins everything. Thanks, Thanks.

The kids are- I'm all sweaty and now I have fire extinguisher shit all over me? Ruin the ears. I just spent $18 on for my kid. This is miserable. In the movies, they like to make that shit look like it's wet and sticky. That's not it. No, it's gross.

It's just a powder and it's fucking horrible. It's disgusting, man. You can't breathe? Ruining all the expensive- Fuck that guy. Do you realize my kid's name is Demetrius? Do you know how many fucking letters that is? It's a $3 a pop, man. You can't breathe? Ruining all the expensive. Fuck that guy. You're like, do you realize my kid's name is Demetrius? Do you know how many fucking letters that is? It's like $3 a pop, man.

His ears are now white, you dick. You fucking asshole. Jesus. You can't even read it. That's awesome. Another time, he got busted sneaking into Angel Stadium, where the Angels play there in Anaheim, on Christmas Day and dicking around on the field. His mother talks about it, saying that he idolized Rod Carew and Nolan Ryan,

who played for the Angels in the mid-70s there. She says he always had, or his father says he always had a poster of Nolan Ryan over his bed. And when he batted against him in the 86 playoffs, I tell you, I just about broke down and cried. So that's nice. You get to pitch against or hit against his hero uh but he loved rod carew and when he was a kid he wrote rod carew a letter saying that uh he was small and he gets picked on because he's small but he wants to play baseball and all this and i guess rod carew called him like got the letter and called him so that's

what a good guy rod carew is gets a letter a letter from a 12-year-old or something and calls him, which is fucking amazing. He says, his mother says, quote, when he was about 12, he and the other kids hiked the four miles to the Big A, which is the stadium, and they snuck inside. It wasn't really a mischievous thing. Lenny was just so thrilled to be on the field where Rod Carew played. They were just sliding into bases and hitting balls off the wall. And all of a sudden, there was a police helicopter above them telling them they were trespassing and i guess they would have been arrested or something yeah you can't just yeah that's the way it goes or something i'm arrested you got it on the first try good job stop guessing it's over game's done done

nailed it right off number one answer hey number one with a bullet arrested paul hundred said it but she said quote but lenny was so fast he got away so their skills helped him he goes to garden grove high school in garden grove california uh wasn't big into studying shockingly no not real big into it but uh he did play football and baseball during his freshman year in high school he was the first and only freshman to play on the varsity baseball team. Really? Yeah, first and only for this team. And this school has like two other guys

who played for like a day in the majors, and that's it. So Lenny's the only big... He's the best one. Yeah, so I don't know. So before the draft, this was before his senior year in 1981, the MLB draft was coming up,

he goes to a Mets tryout camp. And a Mets employee asked if he was the bat boy. Because Lenny's like 5'10", 160 pounds. Back then he was probably 150 pounds. And he looks young. And when he first came up, he looked young. I mean, he looked like somebody's little brother was out there playing. And so not later on when he was all muscled up but when he first came out

so they asked him if he's the bat boy and he said quote i'm lenny dykstra and i'm the best player you're gonna see today that's lenny dykstra ballsy not hey fuck you it was i'm the best motherfucker you're gonna see out here bitch so he's got supreme confidence in himself like i can't can't overstate the amount of confidence in himself and as many times as he's been humbled it never thins never never never that later there's a quote from billy bean later on that we talked about in the first episode that sums it up perfectly that he has no concept of failure that's a great point that's exactly the perfect way of putting it none he could be failing he could have just failed as hard as possible and he'd be like well

i was fine and now it's going to be better yeah like he just doesn't even think about that well that one time five years ago i did well so that's all i'm gonna think about don't worry about it's crazy shit so 1981 is the amateur draft uh he is drafted here first round just go over a couple joe carter gets drafted by the cubs and big-time Blue Jay there. Ron Darling, the Mets pitcher who we'll talk about a lot later because he wrote a book saying some kind of nasty shit about Lenny, and Lenny's pissed about it. And that year also, a lot of guys, Mark Langston, Frank Viola, Mark Gubiza, Sid Bream, John Elway drafted this year, obviously, by the Yankees,

Tony Gwynn, Sid Fernandez, David Cohn, Paul O'Neill. My God, the Expos got a whole bunch of great players. The Royals, the Expos. Well, the Royals, David Cohn actually was drafted by the Royals there. Tons and tons of guys. Oh, my God, Mike Pagliarulo. No. He's a third baseman.

He was crappy for the Yankees in the mid-'80s, but I really liked him because he had a long Italian last name. Pagliarulo. P-A-G-L-I-A-R-U-L-O. I feel you, bro. I dug him. I dug him. It's like, cool, man.

Tough life, ain't it? Yeah, I was like, yeah, well, he could do it. He's got a ridiculous last name that starts with a P, and he's playing third base for the Yankees. He's only hitting.212, but he's doing it. It's fine. Mark McGuire was drafted by the Expos, but didn't sign. Really?

Yeah, he went to play later on. He went to college and played on the U.S. Olympic team and all that. Fred McGriff, Roger Clemens, all these guys. Lenny Dykstra, finally, though, the 13th round. Vince Coleman was drafted there. 13th round, 315th overall. The New York Mets select Lenny Dykstra. Also, Jack Del Rio.

Really? Coach was drafted that year. Didn't sign, but he was drafted also. Weird. Good athletes. He figured it out later. Later on. He's doing fine now.

He's coaching just fine. So the Mets liked Lenny, but they waited until the 13th round because nobody else was interested in him. He's a little shit guy that nobody really cared about. So the Mets, their 12th round pick was Roger Clemens, who didn't sign that year because he ended up going to the University of Texas. But, yeah, so they had an inkling there. They drafted Clemens and Dykstra back-to-back, so it's pretty good scouting, I guess. Dykstra had committed to play baseball at Arizona State, actually.

Is that right? At ASU, yeah. Because back then, they had a huge baseball lineage. Reggie Jackson went there. Barry Bonds went there later. So just for Reggie Jackson alone, that's a big deal. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool, especially in the early 80s like that.

In a place where not many people were going. Yeah, that's exactly right. So he said to the Mets, look, I can go to college if I want. I've been drafted low, so it doesn't matter to me. He said, I'll sign with you, but I'm not going to rookie ball. If you want me, or I go to college, or you lose me, basically, you send me right to Class A and fuck this rookie ball bullshit. So the Mets eventually did that, which is weird.

They actually gave in to a kid who's 18 years old and sent him to shelby of the class a south atlantic league in 81 and 82 he's there we'll go over it quickly in 81 he hits 261 in 82 he hits 291 he's got no power at this point but he steals bases he stole 77 bases in 120 games in 82. That's great. So that's really good. And he stole 18 the year before in just 48 games. So he's a speed guy at that point. He's a leadoff hitter.

So 83, they send him to Lynchburg, which is another single. It's like the high A ball. In Lynchburg there, he plays 136 games and hits 358. Jesus. He rips it the fuck up, man. And this is when he really starts getting his confidence about him. He was nasty. He had eight home runs, 81 ribbies, 105 steals that year.

If you're hitting.358 and you got 105 steals, you're feeling pretty good about yourself. Pretty incredible. It is. So here's something we talked about in the first episode. His roommate for a while was Billy Bean, the current and longtime general manager of the Oakland A's, and Brad Pitt in Moneyball, the movie Moneyball. Exactly. So he's this guy. So they were roommates with the Mets here.

And Billy saw, he said, by looking at Lenny, he saw that himself he was never going to be a star because of what he saw in Lenny. He didn't have that. He didn't have that. He said, I don't have that undying confidence. Billy Bean would question himself and fuck with his stance and do shit. Lenny's just like, bring it, bitch. He doesn't care. They talk about a story about Lenny Dykstra.

I think it was a spring training game or something. And Steve Carlton was pitching. And Steve Carlton was a legend by the early 80s. And if you don't know who he is, he's a nasty son-of-a-bitch pitcher. A big, nasty Hall of Famer. And he's throwing and Dykstra's watching him because they watch the pitchers warm up to see what they got. And he said to Billy Bean, who's this guy? And he goes, it's Steve Carlton.

What do you mean, who's this guy? And he goes, Lenny just didn't react. And he goes, what's he throw? He didn't even have any inkling's Steve Carlton. What do you mean? Who's this guy? And he goes, Lenny just didn't react. And he goes, what's he throw? He didn't even have any inkling of Steve Carlton. He goes, what's he throw? He goes, he throws heat that's nasty. He's got the best slider maybe in the history of baseball. Nasty shit is what he throws.

He's nasty. He says, Lenny watches him throw two more pitches, makes a face and shrugs and says, I'll stick him. And he walks away. Whatever. Fuck that guy. I got this. I got and says i'll stick him and he walks away just whatever i fuck that guy i got this i got this yeah i'll let him play he did there's no intimidation at all nothing never heard of him never heard of him don't know him i've heard of lenny dykstra though and i think i'm better i'm the best guy here today yeah uh that's how it goes he said

that lenny had total confidence billy says quote he didn't let his mind screw him up lenny was so perfectly designed mentally to play the game of baseball he was able to instantly forget any failure and draw strength from every success he had no concept of failure incredible which is exactly what you need because baseball is such a long season right like he would have been a great closing pitcher yeah because you have to forget yesterday and just be confident and blindly so this is why he's such a delusional bastard it worked so well for him professionally right but in life you have to have a concept you have to be able to learn from mistakes exact that's the problem so billy at the time when they were roommates billy had gotten accepted to stanford before he signed with the mets so billy's a super smart guy and he liked to read and he liked he was interested in politics and

the world basically so he would be reading and he said lenny walked in one time and saw him reading and freaked out and he says quote dude you shouldn't be doing that you're gonna ruin your eyes you shouldn't be doing that like you're gonna hurt yourself yeah like he was smoking crack yeah like dude you shouldn't be jamming that needle in right in your cock bro put that needle in the whites of your eye man fuck man you can't do that that's basically what he said uh mitch williams who is the future baseball closer said of him as a teammate about dunny dykstra this is the great quote here quote i wouldn't call the dude over to help me put together a jigsaw puzzle but the guy was born to play baseball he's a dumb shit but boy you get him out there and

he is focused he's a dummy but he can put a bat on a ball exactly so uh in 84 he plays uh in jackson which is double a 131 games 270 or he hits 275 jesus christ said that totally wrong 53 steals that year so he's doing well and 1985 he plays the first month in the minors in tidewater and triple a and he hits 310 he's doing great so the mets call him up on may 3rd 1985 makes his major league debut uh it is against cincinnati he hits has a five at bat game two hits a home a home run, two RBIs, and a steal. So he comes out, and I'm Lenny Dykstra, motherfucker. That's making a statement in your first game. I've got power.

I'll steal bases. I got it all. So not too bad. This Met team is Gary Carter, Keith Hernandez, Wally Backman, Howard Johnson, Raphael Santana, George Foster. You know George Foster? No. Foster no oh god he was on the big red machines uh 70s he's the scariest looking man ever maybe maybe I have you would see him and you just immediately call him sir put it that way he's the angriest looking black man in the history of the world really but his face you just go hello sir just please don't hit me he just looks

so fucking stern he's a big guy too and he just looks stern george foster and he had these big mutton shop sideburns with this mean face oh it was great he's a fucking aw and he hit home runs like a bastard oh he's an awesome guy uh lenny says about george foster later on in his book here this is great quote foster was a strange guy talk about human xanax i am falling asleep just thinking about him talking to george foster was like attempting to hold the conversation with a piece of furniture when davy johnson announced that kevin mitchell was going to be our new left fielder foster charged that the mets were being racist the

only problem was kevin mitchell's also black which is it's a good point pretty yeah he's real black too yeah he's like extra black so yeah i don't know what the complaint is there but george foster was an awesome fucking guy that's funny because you're saying that he was such a scary man but clearly lenny has zero fear of the man to say apparently human xanax apparently his mean like scowl is just very relaxing. It's just he's not angry. He's just super relaxed. He never changes facial expression.

I didn't realize that. Also, like, you know, Darryl Strawberries on this team, Billy Bean, Doc Gooden, Sid Fernandez, Ray Knight, Ron Darling, Mookie Wilson. It's a stacked team here. Fun team. 85, he plays in 83 games, hits 254 with 15 steals does his thing basically does a nice little little uh rookie season the team is 98 and 64 that year second in the east so back then there's

no wild card so they don't go to the playoffs but 86 is the magical year we'll kind of spend a second on that and then we'll kind of breeze through the rest here uh 1986 the mets finished 108 and 54 they had a great team they're crushing everybody obviously first in their division lenny plays in 147 games he hits 295 eight homers 45 ribbies 31 steals great year for lenny and uh he's a spark plug he plays in center field and he plays with complete reckless abandon one thing you could never say about lenny is he's not putting in an effort he would dive into the wall head first multiple times collides with teammates to where they're both unconscious because he just doesn't get called off a ball yeah he's crazy he's a nutcase he's just he's gonna run into anything if the ball's

going in that direction like you if you want to get lenny out of the game hit a ball toward the wall yeah and he'll probably concuss himself and that'll be that try to run through it yeah that's if the ball's going in that direction. If you want to get Lenny out of the game, hit a ball toward the wall, and he'll probably concuss himself, and that'll be that. Try to run through it. Yeah, that's what he does. He's a nutcase, honestly. Lenny that year, though,

he has a good year, obviously, and the team has a great year. They go to the NLCS. They play the Astros. They beat the Astros 4-2. I watched it as a kid. Great series. He got to hit against Nolan Ryan. Then they go to the World Series, and they play the Astros. They beat the Astros 4-2. I watched it as a kid. Great series. He got to hit against Nolan Ryan. Then they go

to the World Series and they play the Red Sox and that's the famous Bill Buckner deal here. Bill Buckner just died recently, which is a damn shame. He's a great fucking player. It's during this World Series that the Ron Darling accusation comes from. It was Game 3

and apparently they were looking. They needed a spark, and Lenny's leading off. And I guess Oil Can Boyd was the pitcher, who will get his own episode someday, by the way, as you'll find out why. He was the pitcher at the time, and he was warming up. And Oil Can, you remember Oil Can Boyd?

Great pitcher, tiny little skinny guy. Looks like Oil Can. his hat was too big for him and it was like kind of cockeyed on his head it was weird but he's a great pitcher and a lot of fun also and a crackhead as we'll find out as well no so he kind of looks like a crackhead actually that's what he looks like he's like he's otis nixon-esque if otis nixon started pitching i would say that's what he not in the face but just like the body type god jesus that's terrible yeah you don't want to be compared physically in any way that is awful but apparently uh lenny was in the on deck circle and he's just you know warming up

watching oil can warm up and uh uh ron darling accuses lenny of saying some seriously seriously nasty shit to him racial shit uh i guess saying everything he could think of is what ron darling says brutal nasty racial shit now lenny completely denies this and oil can said he didn't hear it so we don't know if this is true or not or if this is just ron darling trying to stir up shit but ron darling has a job that's the that's the kind of how i i look at like if someone is just stirring up shit and it's hardest from this or who doesn't who well i mean a guy ron darling has had a job since he retired from baseball he's a well-spoken handsome dude who went to yale he's got a job on the networks all the time doing baseball commentary and so he does just fine for himself

he's not desperate to write a book he probably made less off his book than he makes yearly anyway oh sure that so it's not you know what i mean like he doesn't need to i don't know so i don't know what's true but i tend to believe ron darling more than lenny dykstra because he's crazy like categorically so uh yeah he says he is saying all this nasty racial shit and lenny dykstra apparently ron darling's story was that through oil can boyd off and lenny somehow emboldened lenny dykstra and lenny dykstra ended up uh leading off the game with a home run and the mets won seven to one how about that so yeah i thought it was a double down the line but he says here it's a home run so i guess it's a home run so we don't know now oil can says he has no fucking idea that's now they ask him about it did this distract you and

he goes i never knew what happened he said that he had a bunch of family drama going on at the time uh this was a world series game and his father had brought his stepmother there even though oil can didn't get along with her and told her jesus told him specifically don't bring her to the game and now it's game three of the world series, and he's got to deal with family drama. Oil can's not blaming him, he's blaming her. Yeah, so oil can also- He could have said whatever the fuck he wanted. My stepmom was in the fucking audience.

Well, it's not just that. No? He said, you know, that wouldn't have been enough to throw me off my game, but he says, oil can says, quote, plus, I had stayed up all night smoking cocaine. So I was double upset and irritated. He said I couldn't concentrate enough to warm up in the bullpen. That's how upset. Wow. So when your stepmom's there and you've been up all night smoking cocaine, you could be

irritable, which I could. I get it. Was it the N word being shouted at me? No, no, no. I don't know. I was so rocked up on crack and my stepmom's sitting right there christ only knows what's that her she probably know i bet she'd have heard it but you know i have no fucking idea man so yeah he oh fuck he says quote i'm warming up for a ball game and

i'm preparing to go out and try to get the new york mets out one at a time and that's all it's on my mind to see any kind of gestures made toward me coming from the opposing dugout i didn't see anything like that nor was i looking for anything like that this is all news to me so he doesn't fucking know we how much you smoke so much crack how much you know i mean come on you're not gonna hear it gets hazy the memory of the time i'd imagine being out there pissed off at your dad and you've got crack just through the remnants of the night's cocaine supply running through your system that's got to feel terrible guys are hitting off you jesus christ here oh my word so uh lenny though had a great series he played uh he played in all seven games he hit 296 with two home runs and three

rbis and four runs scored so he had a great goddamn game the mets in case you don't know won the series four to three i don't think we need to go over that. It happened. Lenny made $92,500 that year. That's not a lot. Well, in 1986, it's not bad. Pro-rated. So his teammate of his later on, Terry Mulholland,

who does weird yoga shit and has some... Really? Rod had this book that Terry Mulholland gave him of not quite yoga, but these weird stretches that he says to Terry Mulholland gave him of like not quite yoga but these weird stretches yeah that he says terry mulholland it's all he does and he pitched till he was like 47 oh so rod was like i'm gonna try this shit shit we're he's still pitching for christ's sake and he's 100 yeah so uh he says about dykstra quote the dude would be an experience even if it had nothing to do with baseball you could meet the dude away from the field and come away dazed and

confused as to what just happened it's just lenny yeah and everybody calls him either nails or the dude yeah those are his two got the dude and this is well before this is in the 80s people called him the dude it's because he calls everybody dude that's why that's the dude everybody who that's kind of how a lot of nicknames come from is something you call somebody that that's a super common thing to say in the 80s too dude yeah but his actually in california every sentence starts with dude it's over the top it's a lot that's how you get the name people have again with rod shooter is his nickname he got that from a catcher in the minors some catcher he said is like a lifetime minor leaguer called everybody shooter because he's a lifetime minor leaguer so he comes across

people come and go constantly so rather than remember people's names he just calls everybody shooter and rod hung out with him and just picked it up he picked up calling people shooter hey what's happening shooter like he just did it in the minors just as like a not even thinking so then people started calling him shooter and it stuck yeah that's how it stuck i've heard a million theories that's the fucking reason why he told me that at 2 in the morning. So I'm assuming it's true. So anyway, 1987 Mets finished 92-70. Lenny hits 285 this year.

10 homers, 43 ribbies, 27 steals. Very consistent with the year before. Makes $202,500. Oh, boy. That's a raise. That's good money in the 80s, man. That's great. That's great money now.

That's fucking beautiful. So, yeah, like I said raise. That's good money in the 80s, man. That's great. That's great money now. Yeah. That's fucking beautiful. So, yeah, like I said, the Mets finished second in the East, so they do not go to the playoffs here. 1988 Mets finish 160. So, good game. Good job there. I guess they probably had two rain outs that didn't matter. They finish first in the NL East, so they go to the playoffs.

They lose in the NLCS to the Dodgers, who then go on, and that's the Kirk Gibson home run and all that shit with him. You know the Kirk Gibson home run. A good one. You know. Even if you don't know sports,

you remember a guy, an older-looking man limping around the bases while pumping his fists. It's that game. Guy looks like, is that guy a baseball player? Is this a make-a-wish? Is he going to die tomorrow?

That's what it looked like. Did that old man really just do that? I think someone came in, hit it, and go, run, Kirk, run. It's all yours. So very impressive there. But Lenny, 88, has a great year again. He hits.270 this year. 33 ribbies, eight homers.

He's very consistent. 30 stolen bases. 305 000 this year so not too shabby this is i just had to put this quote and this is the year 88 when greg jeffries came in you remember greg jeffries he played for like 20 different teams he played for everybody he played catcher when he first came up he played short third first outfield i hate when there's these vague players because i i think i know and i see somebody and then you go no i remember his rookie card being a big deal and then he was garbage and it went down in price and he cared greg jeffries lenny says of him quote it didn't take the players long to figure out that greg jeffries

was a losing player not to mention a whiny little bitch. He would spend hours rubbing his bats with some special concoction and specifically requested that they be stored separately from the rest of the team's bats so they didn't shift. Oh, God. Not to mention a whiny little bitch. Yeah. This is why Lenny's interesting and people still listen to him because he says funny shit like that. So 89 Mets here uh they start out the the mets actually end up trading him june 18th 1989 he wants to be because they were kind of platooning him a little bit the last couple years he like he

played in 126 games the uh in 88 132 games in 87 they kind of platoon him a little bit in the outfield. And he said, I want to be an everyday player. He starts breaking balls. So the Mets went, okay, well, how about Philly then? Have a fucking good one. So him and Roger McDowell, who is the second spitter in the Seinfeld episode there, are traded to the Phillies for Juan Samuel, who looks like an international cocaine kingpin. He had this mustache on him.

Hell yeah. Look up Juan Samuel and you'll just go, yeah, that's exactly. He looks like he would be right next to Pablo Escobar. Are you saying Samuel like Samuel or Samuel W-E-L-L? No, it's like Samuel, but it's pronounced Samuel because he's Juan. Got it.

S-A-M-U-L. Yeah. So they trade to the Mets, or he's to the Mets, and McDowell and Lenny Dykstra go to the Phillies in 89. So that year, total, he ends up hitting 318. So it didn't bother him at all. Seven homers, 30 steals. Very consistent, his normal numbers here.

And the next year, this year he was supposed to make they the mets originally offered him 455 000 and he went to arbitration with them because he was a restricted free agent and he ended up winning arbitration and getting 575 000 which if you don't know about arbitration it's the craziest process in the world yeah it's union shit well but it's between a team and a player so basically you have to come up with all the reasons why the team has fucked you over and they have to come up with all the reasons why you have to come up with reasons why you're worth a shitload of money and they have to come up with reasons why you're worthless and why you're a

piece of garbage and then you both have to go into a room together and they have to say he's a piece of garbage and he's a shitty player and this is why and then everybody once it's agreed upon everybody has to go okay and go back and be friends again that's really fucking hard to do that's why they go that's literally why they try to avoid arbitration it's because nobody wants that it's very contentious tedious and it feels shitty yeah i've heard i heard a lot about it and i'm like that is horrible yeah they'll just say everything that's ever been wrong with you just you're awful it's the same with union stuff in any job that you go to if your union has to represent you in an arbitration hearing it's it's fucked up they're not singling out a single person though and saying how awful

they are oh they are aren't they singling out the whole everybody if you if it's they're saying bob sucks if you if you have he's a shit worker yeah if you have to go against your company in an arbitration thing yeah that's what they will do oh i thought you meant like a union as a whole no no the union if the union has to hire or bring an arbitrator in to fix an issue between you and your company your company will say horrible thing the one person i thought you were right in the whole union yeah this is here but then they expect you to go out and be confident and pitch well and shit like which it's crazy so the phillies finished 67 and 95 they sucked that year before the 1990 season the team told him that he had the upcoming season to prove that he's the guy

for them the everyday center fielder and you know the guy for the future he says quote what i did next was call up a doctor picked picked him out of the Jackson, Mississippi Yellow Pages. In fact, I walked into his office and told him the straight story. He said, quote, my life is on the line. My life, and this is all ellipses between every word, is on the line. This year is going to determine whether I'm going to be a millionaire or whether I'll have to get a real job. I need you to give me something that's going to keep me durable and allow me to maintain my strength for six months. I need your help.

I have a family to take care of, and I'm going to be one of 26 people in the whole world to start on a Major League Baseball team playing center field. That's what he says. Okay. Jack me the fuck up with some roids, basically. I need to be bigger and stronger. So he does, and Lenny comes back looking like fucking He-Man the next year, which is so weird.

Yeah. It's very strange to see a short man being that yoked. It was. Yeah. Well, especially when he wasn't before. It's just like it's just not how some people's just body types or that. He's a stocky little dude. He's not a stocky little dude at all.

So 1990 Phillies. This is the team. They have Darren Dalton, who was crazier than a shithouse rat god is he fucking crazy have you read his alien shit dude look up darren dalton aliens he went nuts after baseball darren dalton aliens that's all i have to say and look at it god damn it darren i wow it happened he said in about 2007 and i showed it to rod at the time while he was alive and i go you know darren dalton darren dalton right he goes yeah i love darren dalton dutch is great i go what is this and he read it and he goes whoa dutch lost his fucking mind what the fuck man he

goes what the fuck is he talking about it was about aliens and all this really weird shit so anyway sounds right yeah uh sean cruck on this team. Charlie Hayes, which I love Charlie Hayes. He caught the last out of the 96 World Series, so I'll love him forever. Von Hayes. All the Hayes's are there. Isaac there, too? You're telling me Von Hayes comes in here, you're sold out. That's what you're telling me right now.

Von Hayes can't get one of these. Terry Mulholland, that I mentioned before, and Mitch Williams. Also, this year, Lenny is an all-star. He's an all-star with the Phillies. He leads the league on base percentage with a 418 on base percentage. Hits 325, which is great. 33 steals, 9 homers, 60 ribbies.

He's the guy. That's the guy they wanted. He's ninth in MVP voting that year. So that'll tell you right there. He's in the top 10, and he makes $700,000 that year. Fuck's that'll tell you right there he's in the top 10 and he makes 700 000 dollars that year fuck yeah grace yeah yeah we're gonna call this grace this is it's uh it gets weird he has some ups from here but this is when the downs start so many downs start to occur uh

the 91 phillies are 78 and 84 for third in the east uh but more more interestingly in may of that year uh he had a little incident when he does here a little little incident he's out one night they're going to john crux bachelor party yeah and they go to john crux bachelor party and then he decides to drive darren dalton home in his 92 or 93 000 500 sl mercedes. And he's a little bit tipsy and wraps the fucker around a tree. May as well. Yeah, apparently. And the fuck, he gets a DUI.

He punctures, suffered a broken right collarbone, three broken ribs and a broken cheekbone and punctured his lung. Oh, God, he's hauling ass. In the middle of the baseball season. God damn it. Oh, he was going fast and he was drunk. He says about it, quote, I screwed up big time.

I'm human. I wish I could change what happened, but I can't. What happened was because of poor judgment on my part. I'm sorry for what the fans and kids had to find out. I not only hurt myself, I hurt the team. So he's got a healthy press agent response to that. He had a pr guy going this is what you fucking said uh there is a an article in the newspaper that it's almost a fluff piece

about a dui the article the actual reporting of the dui the reporting of it is about how dangerous that curve in the road is not how dangerous it is to drive drunk around that curve it's you know i've been saying for years somebody's gonna get drunk and drive right off the cliff well this is the headline in big ball letters is quote dykstra latest victim of dangerous curve no i wouldn't put it like that you don't put the word victim in there at all dykstra latest victim like almost like wow that poor guy he could have been straight as an arrow. It's the curve's fault. You can't take that curve.

You just fly right off the road. Gravity, physics won't allow you to go around that curve. We should really put a sign up, I think. Incredible. So how it ends up happening is amazing. This is apparently the eighth time in the past two years that somebody has wrecked their car in this spot. There's this one woman, this guy, Glenn Bonar, who his B-O-N-A-R, his house is right there. So every once in a while, a car flies off the road and into the

boner residence's oak tree so he says this time he awakened from his sleep and uh hurried down there and he found a trashed mercedes wrapped around the shaft of his oak wrapped around his shaft and he's like damn it i need the jaws of jaws of life. I need to get my hand in there and just tug on it until I can get these people out. I need to just stroke them from the car. Hopefully they're not leaking fluids at all because that would be terrible. Wait, hold it.

Hold your fluids, everybody. Hold your fluids until I can stroke you out of the car enough and then you can just let them flow all at once. I need to ejaculate you out of the vehicle. I need you can just let them flow all at once i need to ejaculate you out i need i need to you know how it is so uh you know lord sorry we're only human we can't help that hit a tree in the boner residence how could he do that it's amazing well he he did this isn't where the car was he hit a tree later but he said uh he he this boner boner runs out in the street finds the mercedes facing the wrong way on the road that's a bad sign right away uh two of them two of the men uh there's two men there he said one of them was lying in the middle of the road with his face covered in

blooded dirt and uh he says two identical two young women who'd been driving behind the mercedes apparently uh uh also saw that and he said so he looked in and he saw quote a bunch of crumpled hundred dollar bills scattered on the floor and back seat like discarded candy wrappers so he's just got i don't know if you just have that in the back seat of your car and not fly out will you grab the wheel i'm gonna hold my crumpled up hundred dollar bills in both hands i'm gonna make a bowl and just kind of feel the weight of it thanks oh shit dangerous curb and this they all go everywhere i don't know how that fucking happened here but uh does he wipe his nose like dumb and dumber and just throwing him in the back apparently i don't need this shit so yeah they they charge him with driving under the influence of alcohol uh the uh

the boners didn't know who they were darren dalton and uh lenny dykes really no idea she the the wife said quote but i'll i'll tell you even if you knew who they were you probably wouldn't have recognized them because their faces were covered in blood so So, yeah, they were. They said that there was a reconstruction of something there. And they said that they were probably about four feet from dying. They initially hit a tree with the left side. They said if they hit the tree with either of the doors, one or both of them would have been dead because they were flying. Yeah, they got lucky. And we told you about his injuries.

Dalton had a scratched left cornea and a fractured eye socket, which is rough, punctured lungs, fractured eye sockets. You're a catcher and you're a center fielder. Perfect. Fucked. Great, thanks. So this was a big deal, I guess there was a lot of. They would talk about how dangerous this road is. We need to change this.

Baseball players need to stop getting drunk and driving. Of the eight cars that crashed there, how many were drunk? Probably seven, you think? That's what I mean. They were coming from John Kruk's bachelor party, which was at Smokey Joe's, a sports bar, which was about two miles from the accident. They was there for about three or four hours. They left at about 1255. the accident uh they was there for about three or four hours they left they left about 12 55 so the owner of the bar of smoky joe's pat ryan he has a he has a different take he said now

lenny's blood alcohol was 0.179 so whoa shit faced holy shit yeah well half dead dub no double well yeah double the legal limit which is i guess half dead yeah that's a good point yeah it's it's he's pretty fucking good he didn't have three beers he had like six eight beers he had a lot yeah so uh he says pat ryan says quote lenny looked fine i've seen people a lot worse he wasn't falling down drunk i mean he was leaning on the other guy but they didn't he wasn't falling down drunk he couldn't feel the the the rib injuries yet this is pre-lawsuits i assume and you getting in trouble right yeah he's like i don't know he was sort of drunk but i threw him his car keys said you're fine you're fine to drive right so what did the phillies have to say about this well their team president whose hair is looking as

silver as can be after this statement this is a silver-haired middle-aged white man statement here he says about this that because they're talking about they can withhold parts of dalton and uh dykstra's salary if they can prove their actions violated the morals clause in their contract now the president of the team says quote it seems to me they have suffered a great deal already yeah he says uh in some clubs they do things differently than on other clubs. We normally are pretty good to people here. I think he's gone through enough pain, physical, emotional, and financial, and I can't see why we should increase that.

The problems are a lot to deal with without knowing we could cause more. So he's good. He's good. He's fine. We're okay with it. He's going to be fine. So 91, he only plays in 63 games because of his injuries here. He hits 297 and everything, but he only plays in 63 games because of his injuries here uh he hits 297 and everything but he only

barely plays he makes two million two hundred sixteen thousand six hundred and sixty six dollars though so new contract yeah that's the roids paid off that's what he was saying i can either be a millionaire or not well that's that's what that's what it was then that's what it was what were you gonna do that's how you that's how you make money and if the guy trying to take your job is taking him and he's gonna take your job right what are you gonna morally not do it so you can be i'm gonna do whatever he does and do it harder and better well i don't understand you you have like this baseball morals but if you work in a warehouse somewhere what the fuck do your baseball morals matter you don't even play baseball anymore so you know what i mean

to stay a baseball player it doesn't matter if everyone else is trying to. You're competing. And as a fan, I just don't care. I mean, I don't want you to destroy your liver and fucking wreck your health or whatever. But other than that, I don't have any moral like, he used performance enhancing drugs. And I'm like, well, he's trying as hard as he can is what that says to me. He's trying as hard as he can is what that says to me. He's trying so hard, he's jacking himself with fucking weird chemicals

and then working out a whole bunch and eating a shitload of potatoes and chicken breasts all the time. He wants to show me the best baseball I can watch. It's good.

More than I'm willing to do for baseball, so that's why you're doing this and I'm doing this. Right. It's the difference. So, 1992, the Phillies are 70-92.

Not a great team. Again, Lenny hits.301, though. He's doing fine. Six homers, 39 ribbies, 30 steals. It's his basic line every year. He does have a broken bone in his finger in August that ends the season for him. He only played in 85 games. But he did make $2,316,667 this year.

Not too shabby. 1993 is the Phillies' big year. They finish 97-65 and go all the way to the World Series this year. Not too shabby. 1993 is the Phillies' big year. They finish 97 and 65 and go all the way to the World Series that year. They beat the Braves in the NLCS, one of the many Braves failures of the 90s, and then they lose in a very famous fashion to the Blue Jays with the

Mitch Williams. That famous shot of victorious Joe Carter and Mitch Williams with his head hanging down walking off the field. That's that. One of his coaches here talks about Lenny during this period. He says about Lenny, quote, he was a red light player, but he was a horrible 10-2 player. What I mean is he hated to play in a 10-2 game.

Whether we were ahead or behind, he'd lose focus. He only wanted to play with the game on the line all the time, which understandable like not to just keep bringing him up but that was rod told me that too he hated to come in a game as a closer with a three-run lead he was like let's fucking he said he didn't get there's no rush in that exactly he goes unless there's two guys on base you can't even feel it at that point it's like who cares it's just boring he goes but if it's two guys on and you're up by one now you're talking now there's something to get up for yeah that's the type of guy that you know that's what you got here so 93 though lenny had a great year uh career year he hits 305 uh

19 homers this year which is by far the most he's ever hit six triples even 66 ribbies 37 steals uh leads the national league in hits with 194. Leads the National League in runs with 143. Leads the league in at-bats even. He's just, he's killing it. He says about his 93 season, quote, I basically went from a star to a superstar. I basically proved I'm more than the best leadoff hitter in the game.

It's nice to have that recognition, but I'm more than a leadoff hitter. I've proved on the impact player I've always considered myself to be, a situation hitter capable of getting the home run, double walk, whatever the situation requires. I've worked hard and made myself into one of the top five players in the game. Do they pay leadoff hitters what they're paying me?

So that's what he's saying here. I don't know about top five in the game. That's a bold statement. That year, though, we'll talk about it. He might have been able to say it that year. Now, Dennis, they talked to his dad. Don't quote dad here, Dennis. And Dennis, you know, about has he changed or anything?

And Dennis says, quote, I quote, I coached him all those years, but I don't really feel like Lenny owes me anything. I've just gotten paid back in spades just watching him play over the years. In some ways, I guess all the money he makes and all the scrutiny he's under has to have changed him a little, but it's hard being who he is. We still talk now and then, but when you try to call him, he's always got three or four other people on hold, someone else there with him. He's always so busy. He flew me in for the playoffs in the World Series last year, and we all had a wonderful time, but I understand how busy he is.

I always tell him, someday, son, when your career is over, call me. Maybe we'll have lunch together. So basically, yeah, he's just out, too busy for the family, which he's got a lot going on. He wins a Silver Slugger this year, and he is second in MVP voting. Number two. Number two. So that's what I mean.

If you're number two in MVP voting, you can go, I'm one of the top five players in the game. There you go. Barry Bonds won the MVP that year. There's nothing you're going to do about that. Nothing. That's the guy that takes all the steroids. Well, not then, though.

He's barely leaving any for you. Not then, though. Yeah. No, well, by 2000, he had them all probably in his house in one room. But no one even claims that Bonds took steroids till 99. Really? Yeah yeah because he he got mad that griffey and or that mcguire and sosa got all that pub in 98 and he says how the fuck

do i do that roids even though look at his numbers here this is 93 pre-roll so anyone who says barry bond shouldn't be in the hall of fame kiss my ass pre-roids 336 46 homers, 123 RBI. Fucking amazing. But he wanted to hit 55 homers. He wants to make it really obvious. Yeah. I want my head to be four sizes bigger and hit a few more homers. I don't want to blend in. I want to make it super.

Come on. I want to cause an investigation. I need a federal investigation. Congress needs to be involved in this. He was earning money and doing great that's how that's how greedy he was that he just he's like fuck it i'm gonna be a free he wanted to be better than them that was the thing he wanted to be better than griffey and better than that and if he wasn't then that's what that's how you have to be i guess to be a top tier guy you

can't just be like i'm pretty good i'm good enough that's just not the way it works you're not a hall of famer right youer. Lenny's number two that year in MVP voting. David Justice, number three. Fred McGriff, number four. And Ron Gant, number five. Yeah, I love the Braves. I love that guy. Not bad. Lenny makes $3,066,667 that year.

God damn. 94, team is 54 and 61. That's the strike-shortened year. So it doesn't really matter. Lenny's NL Player of the Month in May. He's an All-Star that year, for whatever 54-61. That's the strike-shortened year, so it doesn't really matter. Lenny's NL Player of the Month in May. He's an All-Star that year, for whatever that's worth. It doesn't really matter. He hits.273.

He makes $2,650,000 because it's prorated from the shortened season. 1995, the Phillies are 69-75, which somehow is second in the division. I don't know how the fuck that is, but it doesn't matter. Lenny hits.264 this year, but he only has two homers, 18 ribbies, and somehow he's an all-star because this was when it was only fan ballots. So he was so good last year and the year before that they just pencil him in in center field, basically. You just poked his butt now, and that was that.

He makes $6,200,000 this year. Oh, my God. He's making so much money. That's the score, man. That's a lot of money. Yeah. Holy shit. 1996 team is terrible again, 67-95.

Lenny this year, though, hits.261 and is injured. He leaves a game in May in the fifth inning with a nerve, some damage in his back, spinal injury, and he never appears in another major league game again. Just kind of leaves. It's spinal stenosis, a narrowing of the spinal canal. Yeah, that's bad stuff. And that was that. He tried to come back in 98 for spring training, but nothing happened. And that's when he's stenosis ruined his career?

It was over after that. Wow. Did we learn that before? Before? In the other episode? Maybe. I'm not sure. I don't remember.

I didn't listen to the episode on purpose just so I wouldn't try to not. That sounds terrible. I didn't want to repeat jokes if I whatever. Good point. I should have listened to not repeat jokes. We definitely didn't talk about the boners last time. So, yeah, his career numbers, 285, lifetime hitter. Not too shabby for a leadoff guy.

Not bad at all. 285 stolen bases, 43 homers, or 81 homers, 404 ribbies. So, a good career for Lenny. Not bad at all. He makes $6,200,000 this year. Not too shabby. That gets better, Jimmy. Wow. 97, he doesn't even play and he

makes six million dollars and 98 he doesn't even play but he makes six million dollars unbelievable he made another 12 million to not do anything to not do anything yeah incredible to be injured so he had a now guaranteed contract so november 1998 i guess he that's the season's over you're getting just it's so funny it's like he just got his last paycheck yeah basically so he says now i gotta do something so he opens up car washes this is the car wash thing here typical athlete thing exactly uh he opened up a luxury car wash in corona that he dubbed the taj mahal of car washes and uh he ends up expanding it to a shitload of other car washes and ends up

ends up doing well at this actually and in 2007 he sells it you say he cleaned up he cleaned up he should have brought the boners in there to to help they're very good at stroking the hoods of cars in circular fashion lots of suds lots of suds so he made a boatload in 2007 when he sold it so that's where he got kind of all of his money to invest after that so uh yeah he's not doing bad so he opens that up 1999 uh in october of 1999 he's got some or november of 1999 he's got some problems though and that is that he is arrested uh-oh in simi valley on misdemeanor charges of sexual battery and child annoyance involving a 17 year old girl oh no okay that's all right i was like it's illegal to annoy a child hey hey hey look at you you flick his ear hey hey throw shit at him spit balls and

shit just throw a shoulder into the back of their foot i was gonna say flat tire yeah take that get him a good trip like try to push that right leg over their left leg oh yeah what do you like that yeah tie their shoelaces together when they're sitting there charge a child annoyance give a wedgie so mad his spokesman here said the allegation is false, totally untrue. The Ventura County Sheriff's Department there has a different idea of things. He's booked and released on $5,000 bail. He is accused of improperly touching the teenager, is what the police department say. Basically, it occurred on October 1st, right when he was opening his car washes. It was inside the office of the car wash.

first right when he when he was opening his car washes it was inside the office of the car wash the uh they didn't exactly say what happened here but uh the uh they say that uh the victim is a 17 year old girl who was employed by mr dykstra at the time she called the police to uh to report the incident and the investigators put a case together and they end up arresting him he turns himself in after he learned there's a warrant for him so he didn't just run away uh he says or his lawyer says quote the allegation that this uh that he touched this young woman outside her of outside of her clothing that the allegation made against mr dykstra is in fact quite minor and does not warrant criminal charges the fact remains that it's completely untrue it's like even if he touched her it's not illegal touching and but still he didn't touch her

so but if he did it's fine okay so don't fucking worry about it i don't know how much of that i believe but yeah exactly uh he's represented he gets he gets robert shapiro to represent him very smart move who was the first guy oj had on his team so two weeks in a row right oh yeah this is oh this is prior i thought that's 99 I was thinking 93 I was thinking 91 our heads are up our asses so yeah he's there another guy here who was an architect on the car wash they interviewed him

he said he's shocked by the allegations he says this just comes as a complete surprise this is not a pattern of his behavior which let's talk about his behavior oh boy 2000 World Series by the way Dykstra and a bunch of his behavior, which let's talk about his behavior. Oh boy. Get into a big time here. 2000 World Series, by the way,

Dykstra and a bunch of other people from the 86 Mets team threw out the ceremonial first pitch before game five when they lost the World Series to the Yankees. Ha ha, eat dicks. Yeah, that was the last game of that World Series at Shea Stadium. So I think Mike Piazza made the last out

with a long fly ball to center field. Anyway, 2001 here, he is finally cleared of these sexual battery and child annoyance charges in 2001. He does not annoy children. He's not a batterer or an annoyance here. It's misdemeanor charges here. They said that the district attorney's office released this statement. Quote, while the district attorney believes that the defendant did engage in the conduct as originally described by the victim, the subsequent investigation revealed additional

facts which leads to the conclusion that the charges alleged in the complaint cannot be proven beyond a reasonable doubt to a jury. He's annoying, but we can't prove it. So Dykstra's attorney said we're pleased while we're pleased that the district attorney has seen fit to drop the charges we're disappointed that they were filed in the first place this case had no merit from the outset no incident of harassment occurred let alone anything that conceived could conceivably justify the filing of a criminal prostitution prosecution criminal prostitution so uh yeah they said based

on our investigation and the evidence we marshaled and turned over to the district attorney's office this is the police it was confirmed that the young lady who brought these charges uh no i'm sorry this is his lawyer was not honest and not credible it's not uncommon for high profile personalities like sports figures to be a target for unmeritorious charges whore is what he said jesus christ they said she was an employee of his car wash she came to his car wash facility at a time of day when she knew he was present when she was not scheduled to work she was supposed to be in school she sought him out and engaged him in conversation she talked to her boss weird fucking whore burn her at the stake.

How dare that slut want to know her schedule? Bitch. What the fuck? Jesus Christ. Unbelievable. Burn her. Wow. They also said, quote, he's extremely disappointed and dismayed that his name, reputation, as well as his business business have been sullied by the filing of these false charges but at the same time he is uh he's relieved that

whatever damage has been done can now stop and will hopefully be rectified so uh everything's fine i'm good now and uh that's that basically there's no other well Well. What else are you going to do? Yeah. There's no jail time to serve. No. Right. 2002, Dykstra returns to New York again. He is elected to the Mets' 40th anniversary All-Amazing team. Oh. So he returns for a big ceremony.

With no G, they literally left the G off of it? It's the Amazing Mets. Okay. Yeah, that's what they call them. The Amazing. Amazing Mets. I don't know why. I don't know why they couldn't be amazing.

Right. They don't have time for that shit. We don't have time for that G. We do have time for an apostrophe, which is also a character, and it takes the same amount of time to type it, but fuck it. No time. Yeah. Yeah, not good. He's also up for the Hall of Fame this year.

Hell yeah. Yeah, he does knock it in. He gets 0.2 percent of the vote which you need like 78 so little off on that uh who did get in that year ozzy smith gary carter teammate of his jim rice who we talked about last we went to the same high school as oj uh bruce suitor andre dawson goose gossage burt blileven jack morris and Trammell, not Lenny Dykstra. So 2005 comes around, and this is the beginning of him thinking that he's a financial wizard. This is when this shit starts. This is when it goes off the rails completely.

Jim Cramer, if you don't know who he is, he's that idiot on TV. He's the bald idiot who screams and yells about stocks and presses fucking buttons and shit and acts like a complete asshole. What's his name? Mad Money or some shit? He is a complete asshole. You can just look at, I was reading the book about The Daily Show, and Jon Stewart basically tortured this man

through the whole financial crisis because he kept fucking recommending stocks that he fucking knew. He was just told by these companies that, no, everything's fine. And so he would go on television and tell people, hey, it's fine. Don't sell them. Buy more of this shit.

And then they'd go in the fucking toilet. So he was calling him a shill and saying he should be fucking ashamed of himself. The guy's a fucking joke is what he is, Jim Cramer. It's true. He's a joke and a complete bald asshole so anyway uh dykstra here he said he hooks up with jim kramer who jim kramer hires lenny dykstra to write a stock picking column for his fucking website oh my god so this is a man people listen to for financial new for some because he's on television for some reason. Lenny Dykstra in charge of that.

He says, wouldn't it be fun to have Lenny Dykstra dick with people's money that he should, you know, who should tell people what to do with their money? Lenny Dykstra. Wow. So Dykstra, now that Jim Cramer approved of him, all of a sudden now he's financial genius. Everyone just, oh, Lenny Dykstra, he's a financial genius now. Oh, yeah, that's right. He's so smart uh he was profiled in a new yorker article and i read it that says the new yorker the title of it is quote nails never fails baseball's most improbable post-career

success story and they talk all about his stock picks and his appearance on financial news shows and that who would have thought this idiot who dove into walls and strapped his Mercedes around trees would be a fucking financial guru. Incredible. Amazing. He gives Dykstra a stock investment column on thestreet.com, which is his website, Kramer's. Customers paid. Oh, my God.

Jesus Christ. Customers paid. Jimmy, buckle the fuck up. $995.95 a year for Lenny's advice which came you know it's lenny unbelievable for that idiot to give you advice in a soaring this was a soaring stock market so he could have just said throw your money in the street and it would have made more money and he would have been right and he looks great no and he looks like a genius yeah in a market like that everyone looks like a fucking genius because it's you can't not make money.

Right. Yeah. That's the problem. Then what happened in 2008? And we'll talk about that. People didn't look so good. They didn't look so smart anymore. It's pretty interesting.

So, yeah, I guess another guy was actually the editor of the column. And he says he this guy says that Dykstra's market prowess was no fabrication. And, you know a problem is that it kind of fell apart after that he's fred this guy says quote i do think lenny was deceptively smart in a lot of ways he didn't know everything about every company he had about 100 stocks that he followed he had a research assistant he made picks uh he made picks when i was with him so they're saying he actually did the work. 2006, he returns to Shea Stadium for the Mets' 20th anniversary of their championship celebration.

He, at that point, voices a greater desire, saying he wants to get back into baseball and he wants to do something, and the Mets, his name gets thrown around as a possible coach, maybe a base coach, or even a minor league manager. We're going to give this guy a team tour. They're out of their fucking minds. Can you imagine giving this guy?

Here's a bunch of young men. Mold their brains, please. Tell these guys how to work. Wow. Run into shit. Don't fucking listen. No concept of failure. Heard of steroids?

Heard that? If you jack that in your arm, it's pretty good. He also serves as the part-time instructor at the Met spring training camp in port st lucie so in 2007 so he's trying to get back in the game and that's right when the mitchell report comes out and that's when he's right back out of the game because uh he probably would have ended up being a coach because those old players they'll hire any of those guys go stand at third base and have people cheer you when you come on the field they don't give a shit and uh but the mitchell report comes out and those guys were kind of all persona non grata after that for a while, except Mark McGuire, who became the Cardinals hitting coach.

Other than that, a lot of these guys were kind of out. And it comes out saying Dykstra was just doing as much shit as he could. And he doesn't fucking deny it. At the time, before the Mitchell Report came out, he was denying it. But then after it came out he was like yeah fuck it who cares he's named i did it yeah he says quote you know i was a pioneer for that stuff the juice i was like the first to do that me and jose canseco which isn't true because him and mcguire were doing it in 87 and he didn't do it till 90 he later he was joking

that he put hgh in his cereal what just as much as he could get in him, basically. He said, quote, we're talking about the difference of making 30 million or getting a real job and working and making 60,000, which he probably couldn't make in a real fucking job. Do you want the guy next to you taking them and you're not going to take them? Which that's a valid point. So in 2008, his son, Cutter, he named his son Cutter, like the pitch, was drafted by the Milwaukee Brewers in the second round of the draft here. He ended up playing with the Nationals organization. He was released in 2016.

He's playing somewhere now in the minors. He is married to Meadow Soprano. That's right. I remember us talking about that. He's married to Jamie Lynn Sigler, and they have two sons. How about that? Yeah. Meadow Soprano goes to this idiot's christmas party

meadow soprano has to go listen to him she has to go listen to him and think this is your father figure how's your investments meadow everything going yeah no i'm fine that soprano's money is gonna sit tight it's doing just well all annuities pal don't worry about it speaking of annuities, pal. Don't worry about it. Speaking of annuities, this is when he thinks he knows about that kind of shit, too. April of 2008, he starts a magazine. And we talked about this last time. And it is just a boatload of crazy. It's called The Players Club Magazine. And it's launched and it's directed toward professional athletes with a lot of disposable income.

directed toward professional athletes with a lot of disposable income and it advertises like everything from concierge services for you know uh to book you a weekend with your wife away somewhere or to book travel or to do this or to do that everything from that to like there's yachts advertised in there and private jets and you know shit that the luxurious shit so yeah if you if you want to spend your money exactly i got you covered and also investment advice in here and talk about annuities and people like that so his idea is he says being who he is he can get this magazine into all these players lockers so he says if this magazine starts out going right in these players lockers we're going to do great. Because we're going to have advertisers.

They're going to be buying our shit. It's all going to work out. Now, in Adweek, you know what Adweek is? It's an advertising publication that talks about Adweek. It's like Newsweek for ads. Exactly. They have a thing about this in there. They say, quote, heading into a recession, because this is 2008.

The market just crashed. It's collapsed. Money was on fire. People were fucking fleeing for the hills. George Bush was buried 12 feet under the ground going, is it stopping yet? Are they still mad at me? He was just sitting in a hole in the yard. Does everybody still want to kill me?

Is my approval rating over 10% yet? He was in Hitler's bunker with a 38. Hitler had a higher approval rating than him in early 2008 i'm not even that's not political that's fucking true i think his approval rate was like 18 at one point which is people were mad they were when your house ain't worth shit you gotta blame somebody houses weren't worth shit the banks were closing literally fucking banks were folding people are going to get their money and they're getting a shrug and like it was crazy time so it was bad stuff this guy's going oh and i'm going to put out a luxury magazine so it says heading into a recession with print advertising nearly universally in the toilet it's an interesting time to start a magazine but former phillies

and met star lenny dykstra does not let that daunt him no concept of failure the first issue of the players club is magazine for pro athletes uh looking for sensible ways to spend their millions arrived in the office and it's sensible sensible yacht uh yeah yeah that's what they talk about they say the advertiser list is predictable but impressive several full page ads from private jet companies lots of disturbingly fancy watches some cigars and luxury cars as for content the players club goes right uh rightly goes for the short and snappy rather than the new york review or of books type essays there's an obligatory cover puff piece on derrick

jeter of a ranking of rich athletes and the world's best golf courses my personal favorite a photo spread of philly's philly's uh pat burrell at a 4500 of saville row suit so yeah uh so what is this magazine exactly well he says it's much more than just a print magazine supposed to be a comprehensive lifestyle and financial brokerage company aimed at assisting professional athletes with all aspects of their off-field lives from their playing days into retirement. Concierge services, everything from people who will send your wife flowers on Valentine's Day to financial services referral unit that helps players build income annuities and what Lenny calls recurring cash flow to guarantee a steady paycheck.

He spent $600,000 on a launch party for the magazine. For a party. On a party. Not for the magazine. No, no, for the launch party. Holy shit. Yeah. It was at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel there, I think in New York, and it's $600,000.

That's all i have to say there was supposed to be appearances by derrick jeter because he was the first cover star and donald trump was supposed to be there and uh but there was a yankee had a rain delay a few days earlier at a rain out so the yankees had to make up a game that night so jeter couldn't make it and instead of trump coming he sent fucking fucking Don Jr. Oh, no! He said, here, look at this douchebag. I sent him to your fucking party. Here, yeah, no, he's worthless.

Don't worry about it. Don't have time. He's still named me. It's fine. He's pointless, but here, there's this guy. How disappointed is that? Jesus, not only are you a junior, you're this junior. You're Don Jr. You're just, never mind your dad, you're just you.

Just kind of useless. Just kind of there. You're a lizard man. You're just there, dude. Jesus. Oh, there you are. You should have sent Ivanka. At least people would have, you know, something.

They would have ogled their tits or something. At least Don Junior. They're like, who is that? The Trump's kid? He's a spoiled bitch and they'd walk away. Fuck that guy. So, yeah,im kramer was there takes to the stage to praise his investing savvy of lenny dykstra just everything and dykstra was

obviously hammered and groping women and everything that night now that's our guy oh yeah there's later on pictures of him in a strip club dressed like santa claus with like naked women all over. It's horrifying. So let's get into this magazine and what it was like on the inside of this magazine. There's a guy named Kevin Coughlin who worked for the New York Post, and then he ended up working for Lenny Dykstra, as we'll talk about here. And he wrote a GQ article. We talked about it a bit in the first episode, but we'll get into it a little deeper here.

Now, he says that he has a job interview with lenny and it starts at 1 a.m so he said it's one o'clock in the morning and he's got a job interview which is strange to begin with so he walks in and he says lenny's a mess in his hotel room he's got three laptops with like there's cables everywhere he's got phones all over the place he's on the phone yelling at somebody it's the middle of the night who are you yelling at exactly so uh yeah the lenny starts by asking him you know why would you want to leave your current job he was the sports photo editor at the new york post and the guy said he's looking for a leadership position he wants to go get in the ground floor something that's growing and that sort of thing and he said you know this looks like a good fit

so you know that's how i why I'm interested in this. So Lenny, rather than tell him, yeah, my company is this and that, Lenny responds by showing him his watch. He goes, here's my watch. Check this out. He's like, okay. Cool. What else do you say?

Cool, bro. So Lenny says to him, quote, I don't wear jewelry except for this. It's the best in the world. Costs 65 grand. So it's a Patek Philippe watch, obviously. That's the's the best in the world costs 65 grand yeah so it's a petite patek philippe watch obviously that's the only watches i know that cost 65 grand i'm sure there's more but i'm not a luxury watch expert i only know put gemstones in them they get they get pricey i only know that from the sopranos because the one guy gave our tony gave

the guy who gave him financial advice about patek phe. And it was like 15 grand or some shit. I don't think Tony paid that, obviously. But anyway, so he says, it's a nice watch. You know, I don't know. He says, at the time, he's like, I don't know what this has to do with anything with my job. Can I use the restroom first? Yeah. Hold on.

Look at these socks. See these gators on my feet? So he then says, you see, Kevin, the Players Club is not just a magazine. It's an actual club of players helping players. Do you want to be a part of the Players Club? Yeah, I would love that. It sounds like there's fucking involved when he says it like that. That sounds wonderful.

Yeah, that sounds wonderful. He says that instead of saying yes, he says that he made the mistake of saying he'd like to hear a little bit more about the business before signing on. So then Lenny obviously isn't going to give him a... Lenny then gave him a comprehensive breakdown. He had a lot of... He had the prospectus there. Charts and graphs. He said, this is what we're talking about profit for here.

We're looking to... No, that's not what he did. He actually handed him a MacBook Air and said, dude, this will be one of your computers when you take this job. Okay. That was the answer to that. That's all the company's doing? I'd like to know a little more about your company before signing on. Dude, this will be your computer.

And then he just went back to doing what he was doing. It was like, I don't know if that's... Here's a computer. I got to watch. See ya. Yeah, see ya later. Here's a computer and I got to watch. Get to work, bitch.

Wait till he talks about his tie. Oh my God. So he says he sits down next to Lenny and Lenny pulls up his laptop and Lenny basically spends the next couple hours just dicking around. They said they sat on the sofa. Lenny's emailing him things. He's got slideshows from the magazine, YouTube clips, articles about himself, about the magazine, rather than just explaining it to him. this is what he does for two hours he said the only bad magazine stuff they

talked about was the new logo he emails him a link to it and then he calls in this woman who lenny calls his flight attendant i don't know what that who that is uh she this guy says she's an attractive woman in her mid-20s and she says she likes the logo and uh at that point this guy says she's an attractive woman in her mid-20s and she says she likes the logo and uh at that point this guy says his wife called him it's kevin coughlin he's like she's like what are you doing it's like 3 a.m what's going on and he said i'm working with lenny and uh he says it's 3 a.m and he tells lenny that he needs to be on the 310 train back to new orleans or back to new orleans back to long island that's a long ride i'm going all the way back to New Orleans today. So he says, I got to go back to Long Island on the three 10.

So Lenny says, dude, I'll put you in a car and send you home when we're done. So this guy's like, well, fuck cool. That's way better than riding the three 10 train to fucking Long Island. Awesome.

So he said the only time he'd ever been offered a late night car ride on the, when the, from the New York post was when the Pope died and he had to cover that. Otherwise you're not getting shit out of a newspaper. So he says at four o'clock, his wife calls again, and he says, I'm still working with Lenny. Basically, he's just listening to Lenny rant and rave about stock tips,

and said he's just eating a bunch of licorice and drinking fucking bottle after bottle of Coke. He's 11. He's exactly what he is. He's an 11-year-old running a company. Running a company running a company with all this shit and sugar running through his veins running it on sugar so he says the the interview just it just ends up them sitting around he said i i'm there for no apparent reason

why i'm still here he says but who knows maybe that's just how lenny is he says for the first time he's like what am i doing here uh you know in this whole thing he says at that point lenny perks up and says hey bro why don't you sleep over and we'll go get some breakfast in the morning and work some more he hasn't even fucking taken the job yet have you ever been asked to sleep over for a job interview by a dude that's sucking on licorice and drinking soda hey dude i got an extra sleeping bag why don't you just stay here yeah what who are you tom hanks stop this you can have the top bunk i can go home you can have the top bunk dude it's totally cool so he's like what the fuck is going on so he tells look before we you know i start sleeping over and stuff he goes

why don't we get move on in this deal and let's see if we can work something out here's a lucky dakota ring there you go have fun pop tarts in the morning. You like the strawberry ones? I'll get them out for you. I'll tell mom. It's sweet. I got out of a box of honeycombs. It's glow in the dark. It's awesome.

So he says that Lenny offers him $100,000 a year plus full benefits, which in New York is not that spectacular. Yeah, but it's a decent wage. And in 2008. Yeah, it's okay. You can live in fucking Jersey. So that's what it is so he says or long island if you find a neighborhood that's not the greatest because it's expensive there he says quote i counter uh he says i counter that i heard a photo editor at espn the magazine had been offered

120 000 for the same job so lenny says quote you know what bro that guy was scared of me so he's like i don't understand what you're talking bro that guy was scared of me so he's like i don't understand what you're talking about that guy was scared of me so he he pulls up he says he pulls up an email that he sent to this other guy and the the uh he's showing him that how he ended their negotiation and then lenny says to him quote the eyes chico they never lie like scarface yeah that's scarface line then he turns to him and says i like you you're not scared of anything i can see that in your eyes so do you so do you buy into the players club which is just like this crazy thing and now he says he looks at his watch it's

five o'clock in the morning and he just goes sure lenny that sounds good sure guy i gotta go sure let's do it why not so um then the guy said lenny says great let's get you on the payroll then they shake hands and and lenny says as he's ready to leave lenny says how much is a taxi to long island gonna cost this guy says between 50 and 100 lenny gives him a hundred dollar bill and says you got 50 change and so the guy gave him a 50 back and the cab was 80 bucks so right away he's down 30 bucks here. Oh no. And it gets worse. This is just the beginning of the whole thing.

Uh, they talk about, uh, Jesus Christ, everything he says, he, he says, Lenny would say everything that you have to look at the play at the plate

here. That was his way of like making a baseball euphemism for all this thing. He tells him that, look, I want to make you a partner in the players club and sell it to someone in a few years for like $300 million. He was saying how the players club

was going straight into 20,000 players' lockers and penetrating a $60 billion industry. He said the professional sports market, that's, you know, everything's great. He said he projected within 10 years there'd be $11. billion dollars in player assets to manage he says as long as the athletes are getting paid for playing sports there's going to be a market for them he said lenny told him quote we're recession proof baby which is scary to say in

2008 worst words while money was on fire not good so he says that uh you know he's telling getting to know the staff he's doing all this shit. He says that he doesn't think Lenny has a handle on the cash flow aspect of running a business. You know, the important part. You know, the capital. The part where there's money, and that's the whole point you're doing this for. The resource and the reason. Yeah. He says, I'm informed by other employees that I should deposit my paycheck as soon as I receive it,

as Lenny sometimes moves money out of his accounts, and once it's gone, good luck. So previous employees have left when their paychecks never materialize, and Lenny calls those guys losers and quitters. So that's how that works. You're a loser and a quitter if you quit, even though you're not getting paid. So he says the weirdest thing about the whole thing with Lenny was Lenny's just adolescence. Like we were saying, he's like an 11 year old. He said they'd have editorial brainstorming sessions that were just Lenny eating Coke and drinking or drinking Coke and eating ice cream sundaes until like five in the morning.

Can't believe how childish he is. He's just like, I can eat ice cream whenever I want. I'm a grown up. I can do whatever I want. Where's the briars? That's what I mean. Like I want a root cream whenever I want. I'm a grown up. I can do whatever I want. Where's the briars? That's what I mean. Like I want a root beer float. Yeah.

It's so fucking weird. Now, granted, I am definitely known to have a root beer float at two o'clock in the morning, but that's not for celebration of money. It's just for I'm hungry and I stay up late. And you're playing. You're being a joker. You know what I want? I'm going to go crazy.

This is fucking every night for him. This is constant. Jesus Christ. Yeah, he says that he would crack up at his own jokes. He said all this shit would happen all night, but nothing would actually get done. He showed him the segment on TV that he was on where he points to his spot on the plane and he says, this spot on the plane, and he says, this is where the big man sits.

Like, all that kind of shit. He also liked to fart for his employees. He liked to do that. He liked to just fart around the office and then laugh about it, fart at people. He said he would show off his tie. He would say, you see this tie? I paid $500 for it. Then he would rub it on his balls and laugh.

And we'd be like, okay. That's terrific. His best workplace prank that he said was saying something outrageous to see how those around him would react. He said a lot of times it would be on himself. One of his first time visits to the office, he said Lenny, who obviously everybody knows did roids.

He said that he blurts out to two other people, back in the old days, we'd rub some HGH on our elbows and knees, joking around, and just to see what they'd say. And no one knew if he was joking or not, so they didn't know how to react, because they don't want to get fired by this lunatic. So other times he would just be very offensive.

He says a particular layout for the magazine looked, quote, faggy. So despite... A guy that farts in looked quote, faggy. Yeah. So, uh, despite a guy that farts in the office, it's faggy. Well, despite the fact that the, the page designer was gay and standing right there,

he says, that looks faggy. And the guys, sir, well, this is what we'll talk about here. Then he says, and we're going to say,

there's, he's going to say some offensive shit here. And if I, if I say F word, you don't know what I'm talking about. So I have to say that. So he says some offensive shit here and if I say F word you don't know what I'm talking about so I have to say that. So he says that

and then he says later on once the guy left he said Lenny turned to him and said quote did you see the look on that fag's face? So he's doing it

to fuck with people. Yeah he's doing it on purpose. He's not doing it because that's just how he talks and he's oblivious. He wanted to fuck with that guy. He wanted to rise up. Which is the absolute

biggest asshole in the world. Yeah exactly. He's not Archie Bunker who just says it because he doesn't know any better he knows what he's doing he knows it and he's doing it on purpose yeah on another occasion he gets a call from lenny about potential cover people to put on the cover and lenny's on speaker phone when he states for this man and his wife who this guy's got him on speaker he says that quote because they're talking about who's going to be on covers. And they said, well, that wouldn't something seem racist.

And he says, Lenny says, here's the line from the last one. Quote, nobody can call me a racist. I put three darkies and a bitch on my first four covers. Three darkies and a bitch. So take that. And a bitch, Jimmy that and a bitch jimmy my first four covers derrick jeter chris paul tiger woods danica patrick was the first four covers by the way three it's so hard to even say it three darkies and the bitch uncomfortable it's

so well it gets worse yeah it gets worse because the the guy was like huh him and his wife were like pardon yeah so he just said what was that lenny like he didn't know if he heard him correctly and wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt here lenny says louder quote i said i put three spear chuckers on the cover no that's what he said fucking yeah that's what he said you can't say that that's what he said did we say that last time yeah we did how did he he? Where did he say this? He said, them bitches. They said, what was that?

I said, I put three spear chuckers on. You know, spear chuckers. Oh, my God. You know. You know. He just kept going. He sounds like Dice Clay. It's fucking ridiculous.

I said, I put five porch monkeys on there. What do you think of that? What the fuck are you doing? You can't do that. Scotty, you never heard of a moon drink it what's the matter with you this is ridiculous dude you can't say this shit to one of your employees no at all this is not okay so yeah not okay so this guy is horrified by this behavior obviously as you might imagine as anybody would fucking be he said by the end of August, the September issue was almost out. And he said it looked pretty good. Lenny sends him congratulatory emails.

Great job. You brought in a winner. Way to go. And all capital letters. So he said, you know, he felt better about it. So he's like, man, this feels like a good decision that I made to be a part of this magazine. It's crazy and everything, but maybe it's good. Then he said on a Saturday before Labor Day,

3.30 in the afternoon, he gets a call from Lenny. He said Lenny is speaking in a slurred voice, more slurred than usual because he's usually mumbling. This is worse. He says from Lenny says,

quote, hey, bro, I got a guy from this jet company is going to call you in a few minutes and ask for your credit card. So he goes, what the hell for Lenny? You know, hey, what's that? And he he says i said the guy's a spear chucker he said uh he's not going to charge your

card bro it's just an authorization on it so i can reserve a private jet to get me to atlanta where i'm going to pick up a half million dollars in cash okay so he said this was his moment as kevin caulfield when he started to kind of think this is weird and things started to go a little wrong. And he started thinking of a cab ride that cost him 30 bucks. Yeah, and he's like, I don't know about this. And he said,

you know, what the fuck? He said, I should have said no, but instead he said, he said, you know, he was asking myself why a multimillionaire needs an employee's credit card for a flight.

And he says, you know, what's up with that? And he mumbled, and he said Lenny mumbled something about having high limit cards, high limit cards off the charts, but he can't make telephone authorizations on them for some reason. But yours I can, which makes sense.

Because yours isn't as high. Yeah, so you know how that goes. I've got like $70,000 billion. They're clearly not going to let me just authorize things. Whereas you, it's like your mortgage. So what do you care? So he says, Lenny, I'm trusting you to do right right by me i don't want to be stuck with these charges lenny says you can trust me with your life bro then he says but don't tell anyone about this okay

which sounds like he just got his took his finger out of his asshole and he said hey you can trust me with your life blow yeah and don't tell anyone about this okay yeah this is like he just molested him. This is super weird. Horrible. He said then that Tuesday he gets a call from another charter jet company saying that his credit card's been denied, Kevin's card's been denied, for new authorizations for over $22,000. Oh, what's going on, Lenny? Yeah, he said he corrected the man on the phone. He said, no, there should only be one authorization for $13,000 or $14,000.

He said he corrected the man on the phone. He said, no, there should only be one authorization for $13,000 or $14,000. The guy says, Mr. Coughlin, Mr. Dykstra has requested another flight from Helena, Montana to Atlanta in the amount of $22,937. So Lenny had made a personal stop in Atlanta on his credit card to hang out with Cutter, who was playing for the Helena Brewers at that point at a minor league deal here. He says he calls Lenny, who assured him that it was only an authorization, not a charge. He says that using his credit card information is kind of not okay. It's kind of credit card fraud.

He didn't really tell him he could use it the second time. So Lenny says, bro, I'm going to Atlanta to pick up a half million dollars in cash. You're going to make the easiest five grand in your life you've ever made. So he's like, what are you talking about? He says, are you offering to pay me money to use the credit card? He said, you don't need to offer me money.

Just pay the bill. And he says, get me on that plane and it's five grand in your pocket, bro. He's like, but you don't have to sell me. So he said he's already on the hook for 14 grand, this guy. He says he doesn't know if he'll ever see the five grand Lenny's promising, but he's worried that unless he ponies up the rest, he'll have to basically eat that Lenny's not going to pay him for the first bill. He says, I'm in for a fucking, you know, in for a penny, in for a pound, I guess is what

it is. So he calls up the chart, the charter and puts the puts his remaining four credit cards together for about eighteen thousand dollars. Dear Christ. Leaving his him about five thousand dollars,000 short of the flight, but also maxing out everything he has. And Lenny's personal assistant put her card down for the rest of the five grand.

So he gets on the plane, but the five grand, he said he never got it, obviously. He said it'll be 14 days before the authorizations will get cleared, long enough for his wife to find out what he's been doing, and for them to be late on their mortgage payment. Of course. So they're fucked. Basically, later on, he also learns that Lenny also attempted to persuade one of the magazine's advertisers to put up their credit card for his private flights again with the promise of cash.

So this is when everything started happening. He doesn't show up for a meeting on september 23rd at the at the magazine and uh there's a meeting with the company that they leased from which is on 245 park avenue very expensive real estate and lenny owes shit loads of back rent so they shut off their phone internet access internet access kind of the lifeblood of a magazine that pretty much ends the whole thing yeah you're sunk you're fucked he said we've spent the following day packing magazines office supplies and computers into boxes and trudging out of the building so he said from now on i guess the players club is going to be published out of their homes he said six days later he stayed up till three o'clock in

the morning to complete his work on the next issue and uh in the morning he says that uh that uh he gets a call it's a 67th he says that he gets a call. It's his 67th day working there. He gets a call from one of the guys who works there saying, quote, Lenny is going in another direction. So now he's fired. But he's still owed all this money

for his credit cards. He's owed back pay. So he just says, just pay me. Give me the cash and I'll roll. He tried to hunt him down and never got cash. And so that's why he's writing GQ articles about it.

Incredible. So, yeah. April 2009, Terry, his wife, files for divorce. Lenny's wife, not Kevin Coughlin's wife, who his wife would have been justified as well. She probably would. Yeah, but Lenny's wife files for divorce. And they're going to have a weird relationship, by the way. From now on? Well, yeah, because then he's going to end up living with her later, even though they're divorced and stay divorced.

It's super weird. So, yeah, this is the time he said he thought he had $2 million, and his broker told him he was down to $400,000 at one point. So there's this documentary, Some Shit, how they talk about what a financial genius he is. And the voiceover says, Lenny may be able to afford a luxurious lifestyle, but you won't see him on the golf course. Lenny doesn't do leisure. It shows him like, you know, hustling all around. And then they have a clip of Jim Cramer saying, quote, he's one of the great ones in this business.

One of the great ones. That's what he says. They should just, whenever Jim Cramer says anything, they should just play that back to him and go, yeah, Jim? Yeah. Yeah? Is it as good as Lenny Dykstra? Do you remember this?

Is it? Let me ask you, is that tip as good as Lenny Dykstra do you remember this is it let me ask you is that tip as good as lenny dykstra because that's what i'm asking you because you're a fucking dummy you stupid asshole i want to see a show with skip bayless and jim kramer and it's called fight to the death and whoever wins we kill the other one we kill him we throw a broken pool cue in there and say yeah one of you one of you come out one of you come out and then whoever stumbles out we kill him with the other half of the pool cue right through the heart like a fucking vampire that's the end of it so uh he says at this point uh an ex-teammate uh you know helped him uh was looking for a job and he decided that he needed to do

something to help players learn financial independence and uh you know this whole thing and so the players club magazine didn't work out but he said that he could still you know do something this video said quote in a world of you know it's a world of wealth family fame and drama even in his 40s lenny keeps hitting it out of the park it's so fucking cheesy they show him in his mansion which is wayne gretzky's old house and he says money's there and he goes it's the best house in the world it's the fucking cheesy they show him in his mansion which is Wayne Gretzky's old house and he says Lenny's there and he goes it's the best house in the world it's the best house in the world

where do you go from here? heaven? where do you go? that's what he says and they said I need this to put this watch in it you know it's an expensive watch

where does it go? 65 grand it's the best it's the best watch the best house what do you do? and then they ask him at the end what do you say to anyone

who doubts your financial genius and his words fuck them fuck them very very how dare they yeah very high so in 2009 he claims bankruptcy genius he's one of the great ones one of the great ones it's at this point he claims bankruptcy and he is accused later on of removing and destroying and selling property that was part of removing and destroying and selling property that was part of the bankruptcy estate without permission of the bankruptcy trustee he had assets listed of 24.6 million dollars and overall debts of 37.1 million dollars that's no good which is bad math that means you owe 13 million dollars to fucking somebody. This included the California mansion, which he purchased from Wayne Gretzky, which he purchased for $18.5 million fucking dollars.

How would you want that? Yeah. And a home in Westlake Village, which is worth $5.4 million that he bought. So the house is fucking gorgeous. I don't know what you do in it. Yeah. It's a palatial estate. It's insane.

It's insane. This house. Very. doing it yeah it's it's a palatial right estate it's insane it's insane this house stupid very uh so december 2010 lenny dykstra's housekeeper accuses him of sexual assault so uh prosecutors will file charges later they say don't file them right this minute these uh jesus christ the 41 year old woman here alleged that dykstra forced her to give him oral sex on saturdays oh gross on saturdays only on saturdays yeah good morning you know there it is she hates fridays she's like ah fuck everybody loves fridays but me i hate dicks it's friday shit so the woman told investigators quote she needed the job and the

money so she went along with his request rather than lose her job she said that she returned to work in his home with the knowledge that she obtained from the internet of a claim of sexual assault by another woman so that's when she started saying that maybe she should say something she did not

she the housekeeper did not report the assaults until Dykstra failed to pay her money he owed her for pay. She's like, well, if it's not a job anymore, if I'm just blowing you for free, this isn't. No, thanks. This sucks. This is an even worse job. This literally sucks. This is the worst. Investigators discovered text messages from the woman to Dykstra demanding uh demanding her back

pay for that so they didn't know if he was she was trying to blackmail him or the back pay so they were kind of they didn't know what to do here so uh in an interview here he denies the allegations saying she was trying to extort money from him to buy drugs he says quote if she was assaulted on saturdays then i'm a uh I'm a ballerina dancer on Sundays. This is a maid. That's not even worth commenting on. Are you kidding me? I'm Lenny Dykstra.

I don't fuck maids. This is a maid. This isn't even worth commenting on. That's what she said. This isn't even a human being. Once you clean a toilet, then you cease to be a human being anymore. You're allowed to just get cum in your face for that.

Who fucks you then? Nobody. This is ridiculous. Not worth commenting on. Of course she blows me on Saturdays. It's part of the job. Wow. Wow.

She does way worse things on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. She's a maid, you guys. I'm giving her a break on Saturday. Would you rather do that or clean my shit flecks off the toilet? Which one? So 2010, he moves back into the Gretzky mansion here that he's been booted out of for a little bit he has no furniture in this house it is a giant empty mansion cavernous and we talked about this last time they do a real sports segment here the hbo show and uh he's by

the way he had a big party when he moved back into the house to celebrate to celebrate the invitation said quote earn your keep you're invited to join lenny dykstra and friends as he reclaims the house that gretzky built with no furniture and then he'll be booted out very soon so in the real sport real sports segment bernard goldman goes there he goes into an empty house the doors open right so he walks in they can't find lenny they walk around. Lenny. He calls him on the phone from like different rooms. They show him in a different giant fucking empty room every time. And he's like, you know, Lenny.

Finally, after 25 minutes, Lenny comes down the stairs, which is ridiculous. And they're talking and they cut to them talking. And Bernard Goldman says, it's my impression that you're broke, that you owe everybody money. And Dykstra says, who do I owe money? What are you talking about? Who do I owe money? And he won't look at him, too And Dykstra says, who do I owe money? What are you talking about? Who do I owe money? And he won't look at him, too.

He's looking down. Who do I owe money? Goldman says, well, the printer for your magazine, that's one. And Lenny says, printers are criminals. They're fucking criminals, those printers. He goes, we don't work with them anymore. And Goldman says, OK, the printers are criminals. OK, well, that makes sense.

Everybody's a criminal, I guess. And they go, what about this personal assistant? Your personal assistant says you owe him money. She says, he says, that's just people wanting to take my money they're all criminals they're all criminals he says the cases are all bullshit uh you know so it's all bullshit so bernard bernard goldman's like okay so printers are criminals they're full of shit he goes okay uh what about the uh this house is in foreclosure right he goes what about that and he lenny says quote what foreclosure who's sitting in here that's that does what that doesn't even he looked around even connected he looked around like to say

like is anyone else here or is this my house still did i wander into someone else's house like what who's sitting here there's no one else here just me meanwhile yeah it's in foreclosure meaning once they do foreclose on it then it won't be you anymore he's just trying to say you're in financial troubles and he's saying no so then he starts showing goldman pictures of a german shepherd that he's buying for ten thousand dollars and he goes see that that's a champion right there comes from the best lines and bernard goldman's like okay i don't care you owe millions of dollars what are you talking about so then goldman says what do you say to the people who think once upon a time you were flying high and now you're broke? And I'm one of them, by the way, he says.

Like, I don't believe you at all. What do you say to all those people behind that camera? And then this one. This guy. And then everyone else. Sitting right here. This one talking to you. He says, what do you say to them?

And so Lenny, what do you say to your broke? He reaches in his pocket and starts fumbling around and pulls out some cash. Yeah. He just takes some cash yeah he just takes some cash out of it you owe millions of dollars you don't have it on you he takes out and starts just like looking through it like counting it and bernard goes okay so you have 75 dollars in your park in your pocket so what and lenny's counting and he mumbles he goes i don't know about 75 dollars i never carry less than a thousand i don't know he goes but but flying high looks like i'm

still prime flying pretty fucking high by the way doesn't it i'm flying higher i'm flying higher he says no uh not at all uh what he was really doing is uh uh he was all that private plane bullshit he uh he says about what what caused all this he said he was just never satisfied he thought i'll be happy when i have my own gulf stream the plane me too me too i love that he said but then by the end of it he got i get there and he goes i look back and i go oh no it's not about the gulf stream i want a different gulf stream i mean it's not a good enough gulf stream so he's got all sorts of shit so now it's when he starts he has other financial problems while this is all going on the house and everything like that there's a guy named wilberto hernandez we didn't talk about this at all last time no this fits the pattern perfectly

hernandez barely knew lenny dykstra they met once in september of 2010 they were introduced by a mutual friend named robert heimers and uh this guy was a he was kind of a mild dude he was a church guy 27 year old accountant at ernst young which is like a yeah that's a big yeah yeah big boring accounting downtown absolutely big boring accounting firm in every city so uh valentine's day 2011 he uh uh he ends up uh he he he tells later on that he gets introduced to dykstra so that dykstra could help him improve his credit. Dykstra is going to get involved in a company called Rebound Credit later on. And this is kind of the beginning of it.

He says he can help him fix his credit, like Lenny's going to help you fix your credit. He just got bankrupt, foreclosed on. So did Half America. That's the truth. That's what he's doing. He's trying to capitalize on that. He could do that, that too at the time yeah he said uh you know at the time though he didn't realize that this one guy uh the hymers guy who had been doing financial work for dykstra uh had been this guy dykstra had taken this guy in yeah basically he's got this hymers guy completely snowed and now this guy's bringing in people for

lenny to latch on to sure so that's how this is working here uh he said this hymers guy had been hanging out with the meeting retired ball players hanging out with retired with celebrities hanging out with charlie sheen driving her before pre-aids charlie sheen driving around in fancy cars and this hymer's guy here he tells uh uh he told the police later on that he would lend dykstra money and credit cards and uh he said that he didn't care. Spending time with Lenny was like being in a movie, he said. It was just too much fun. Basically, at one point,

Heimers with Dykstra made a nighttime visit to Doc Gooden while Doc Gooden was on the VH1 Celebrity Rehab show. I remember that. Do you remember that? Dykstra tried to get him out of the... He tried to spring him from the house, and he ended up basically getting Gooden's bags and leaving with those.

That was a big deal. And then they had, in February, in late 2010, this guy, this Heimers guy, started helping Dykstra package assets, which was his MLB pension and a stake in an online celebrity poker site called Hollywood Poker that he was going to use as collateral to obtain loans. Got it. Whatever. So Dykstra promises Heimer's guy equity in his new business, Home Free Systems,

which is there to help people refinance predatory home mortgages, which there was a lot of those companies popping up in 2010 he's just a an arrogant fuck that'll just take care take advantage of every situation no concept of failure none only sees success that's it so dykstra introduced this hymer's guy to charlie sheen yeah who this hymer's guy hoped that they could partner together on an energy drink this guy's got an idea with the slogan sheen power sheen blood sheen energy this is pre-aids oh that's a that's a bad this is when he was coming out with you know all that tiger blood shit and i'm winning and all that horse shit this is before his blood was considered not okay to drink apparently probably was not okay to drink back

oh i'm sure it wasn't but people didn't know that, and you wouldn't put that on anything that you're going to put into your body. That's amazing. Power, AIDS blood, energy. No. He also wanted to market an e-cigarette, an electronic cigarette, called the Nicoshine through a company called Vapor Rush. This Vapor Rush here company, they filed for the

Nick O'Sheen trademark in 2011. Wow. Later that month, the Nick O'Sheen would be billed as the, quote, winning e-cigarette. That's what they announced. He had already done it. He had already lost his mind there. Oh, God, yeah. So this Heimer's here, he wanted to be partners with Charlie Sheen.

This is great. Well, yeah, the man's the fastest to a million followers on Twitter. He's a famous actor. Strike while the iron's hot. You know, it's Rick Vaughn. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, but famous actor or not, there is no fucking way I want to be in business with that guy today.

No, no, not now. But this is 2011. This is when the crazy is just coming out. But he was still a major TV star. People are making shirts. He was a huge TV star. Things were going well for him here. So he referred to Dykstra here in an interview with the police later on. He referred to Dykstra as, quote, sheen rich and cash poor.

So he was like, yeah, he hangs out with Charlie Sheen, but he's got no money. That's not a good way to be. No, you don't want to be sheen rich or cash poor uh yeah he also said that uh he was basically this guy said he tried to uh help lenny dykstra he said quote some nights he'll be in beverly hills staying in a hotel and other nights he'll be in his car about lenny dykstra he said he recounted uh he he took he tried to take dykstra to church to try to reform Lenny Dykstra. He said Dykstra immediately upon walking in claimed to smell mold in the church and right then called an insurance adjuster to come to the building after hours to inspect it.

He says the insurance adjuster is a friend and he'll give him a kickback if there's any money to be made from a claim. So he brings him to church and within a minute and a half, he's trying to involve the church in insurance fraud. Within two minutes. He's like, how can we make this a criminal venture? How can I make money? Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, how can we make something out of this?

This is crazy. See, what you're doing is you're doing the wrong thing. You're passing around these plates. You don't go to these people. They don't have any money. You go to the insurance companies. They have all the money. So it's really weird.

So the guy says that I've never been good at profiling people. And Lenny took advantage of that. So, yeah, this Heimer's guy did some tax work for the Wilberto Hernandez guy and had his personal information stored on his laptop there. And he said that his laptop, this He heimer's laptop had been stolen in the fall of 2010 in 2011 heimer said that later on he said it was taken while he was while he fell asleep during a late night working session with dykstra in a room at the at a hotel in la he said when he woke up he said where's my laptop and dykstra told him that a prostitute had come in, threatened him with a taser and taken the laptop. He said a prostitute came into the room with a taser, didn't want anything else.

And by the way, didn't even wake this guy up. You know, a prostitute with a taser. Sounds like a computer. Yeah. Give me the laptop. Okay. A Dell laptop. What? It was a 450 bucks at dell it's a piece of

shit who cares but on our gateway too what are you doing here my gateway with a cow print on it on the side so this is what he tells him so he he didn't know he couldn't really believe that he said but so his laptop with all his clients, personal financial information was on this laptop and it's now gone. So a personal assistant for Lenny Dykstra ended up passing along a tip. He says when this guy's trying to figure out what Dykstra is doing, the old assistant says Lenny never erases any of his Yahoo email. So they end up to sell on the police that and the police get a search warrant for his Yahoo email. And and they find all of these shit loads of emails about all these different financial schemes and scams and fucking all this crazy shit. They found copies of pay stubs from Home Free Systems, which he said was his company, made out to a woman named Jessica Costa, who is a 35-year-old model and single mother of five,

who met Dykstra in 2010 at a party. And in an email, she said that, quote, modeling is not my dream job. She said she's a model. I studied electrical engineering. However, it pays the bills. Apparently, this lady here, she knew Dykstra but never did any work for him and never received any of the money indicated in the pay stubs. He just met a person at a party and put her name on the payroll and paid himself that money.

Holy shit. So he was putting people in as employees so he could embezzle the money from the company, basically. Unbelievable. It's like a mob thing, like a no-show job for a prisoner. Does everybody you meet? Yeah, that's what he was doing that's exactly what he was doing and in the in the documents of the company she's portrayed as the company's sales director even though she's never worked there met him one time at a salary

of 120 000 a year and a credit application in her name was used in november 2010 to lease a porsche 911 for lenny from a dealership in newport beach that seems illegal that's excessively illegal uh yeah the prosecutors say that home free systems was a company in name only uh they said account documents for the company proved that after these banks were eventually contacted uh there's a lot of fake accounts made all sorts of shit was going on like they would ask him to prove things and he would just make give like homemade spreadsheets go here you go here's all my money look it says i have that money there it is anyone can type you i have i have 50 million dollars if i type it on paper look jimmy here look i'm gonna write this 50

million dollars to me. There. See? It's a lot. Documented. It's a lot. That's documentation right there. $50 million. You're crushing it, James.

Everybody, if you need a loan or anything, you come to me. I got $50 million now. It's doing well. It's been tough to adjust, but you know, I think I'll get used to it. Yeah. So, yeah, they tracked down a New York lawyer who worked with Dykstra in a bankruptcy case and uh this guy was the sole partner listed this lawyer on the home free system site and he was surprised to hear that he was listed as a partner of this lawyer he said maybe in the loose sense of the word but not in a business way

so maybe i'm his friend he said but i'm not like you know on paper responsible for this company's fucking financial misgivings here so all of these emails show that uh that between dykstra and these people they talk about the porsche and that dykstra encouraged next cost a woman by suggesting that he would help her purchase a house he sent her an email on november 6 2010 in response to her concerns about who would make the car payments of the porsche and he said, come on, Jessica. They call it the top 1% for a fucking reason. I'm rich is what he's saying here.

He concluded by saying in all capital letters is a trope of his. Everything will be fine. Okay. All you have to do is follow these steps and you will be fine. Just finish off what we need with the cars and you and your family will be just fine. No punctuation. All capital letters like a psychopath. does that now who does that um the president of the united states on twitter twitter yeah even the jean benet kidnapper note was fucking punctuated and made sense like come

on so this porsche like we said was used with with her information uh the the whereabouts of the porsche end up being unknown february 16 2011 uh they the police investigate other car dealerships where wilberto hernandez that heimer's guy client guy's client those information was stolen his information had been used without his permission the dealership was in la crescenta and they knew robert heimer father, basically, at this dealer. He was a pastor at that church, Robert Heimer's father, and he would refer people to this car dealer because he knew the owner. Now, the younger Heimers that Lenny knew called the car dealer to get a deal for Lenny, said, hey, my dad, you know him, give my buddy a deal here.

And Lenny would come in and show him where his World Series ring when he could look at me i'm big and fancy that would you know clearly have money you know i clearly have money here and he would have uh have you ever seen hbo's documentary come on i got money then he would bring copies of the players club magazine to show look how fancy i made four copies of five copies of a magazine three years ago or whatever count the darkies yeah yeah see look at that spear chukkas three of them count them you see that bitch right there there's a fucking you know it's between her legs a fucking pussy not a dick good guy that's a bitch i'm a good guy bitch good guy wow incredible man so before that january 12th dy Dykstra and Heimers tried to lease a Cadillac DTS

and a Mercedes-Benz 550 at the dealership, and that's when they used this Hernandez's personal information. He had a strong credit rating, so they used that. Dykstra and Heimers presented financial information that showed Hernandez as the vice president of Home Free Systems. The dealership was prepared to lease the vehicles before Robert Heimers called the dealership the father to say that Lenny Dykstra was not to be trusted. Do not mess with that man.

He was in my church for five minutes and tried to get me involved in an insurance scam. Told me that my roof's leaky. Not me. Don't do it. No. So, yeah, they went to the dealership. They went to another dealership in Pasadena three days later, this time trying to get a Cadillac DTS and a Cadillac CTS-V, and again providing Hernandez's address and social security

number and claiming he was an executive. He also presented, Dykstra did personal financial statements, which were just written down homemade spreadsheets. CTS-V is like a $100,000 car. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what he's going for. Those are insane cars. Yeah, he was going for a 550, an S550 Mercedes, which is 100 grand, too.

They're fucking super expensive. So he shows these homemade paperwork saying he has a net worth of nearly $3 million. And meanwhile, he's in bankruptcy. And again, he's denied. And the dealer manager said that he would not release the vehicles unless Hernandez himself came to sign for him, which makes perfect sense. So they move on to another dealership, a Ford dealership in North Hills. And this place, it's Galpin Ford, the largest volume Ford dealership in the world.

Yeah, everybody's seen those little badges on the back of a car. Yeah, somewhere. Absolutely. This place here, Dykstra and Heimer's get there. He gets another guy involved, Christopher Givanis involved in this. He just moved to L.A. from Pennsylvania. He met Dykstra through Heimer's, and he couldn't afford a car to help find him work, but he did have good credit. So Lenny's like, well, we'll get you a car, and I'll help you, basically.

I'll make payments and shit like that. So Dykstra promised him the car he needed and for use of his credit this guy said i took a gamble because i was so in need of a car dykstra dykstra seemed trustworthy to make the payments i know he's got a lot of money he was a professional player he's got to have some money which is what the mistake everybody makes here that's the problem uh so he says he knew dykstra had plans to make money with charlie sheen he said they've got some video game thing going on a downloadable app is what he thought so yeah he's like he's got that he's hanging out with sheen he can't he's got to have money so dykstra hymers and this guy go to the ford dealership present financial records including

a forged uh bi-weekly pay stub for givanis showing not only does he have great credit we pay him fifteen thousand dollars every two weeks you guys making 30 grand a month 30 grand a month here's his pay stub from my company they just made it up yeah rid of it he makes 30 here see that's what he does uh he was identified as the corporate vice president of home free systems they walked out with a gray lincoln mks a red ford mustang and a black ford flex for dykstra he got the flex he got the flex he got the flex somehow unfortunately his their general counsel at galpin ford is alan scobin who is one of five commissioners of the los angeles city police department fucked up bad oh boy wrong place to do this with and uh the the uh the police

officer who invested the agated this and then came to this conclusion said quote they messed with the wrong dealership no doubt this dude was fucking pissed and wanted his head on a plate as an example for don't fuck with my shit so uh he learns of all this uh this they tell the scoban guy and he was eager for it to be pursued he was on the board of uh the one of the commissioners of the police department it's kind of like on the wire when they have the centcom thing they all have to sit there and tell their stats the dude's sitting up there the real important guy's breaking the guy who's standing up there trying to explain himself breaking their balls he's one of those guys okay so if they want if he wants a guy arrested someone's getting

fucking arrested watch the wire so uh dykstra contacts that dealership again a month later about leasing a new Mercedes, this time sending over a Comerica bank statement, which showed an account worth $31,000. This was they ended up getting a search warrant for his bank records, and they said that that Comerica account had not been opened until December 7thth and he had a balance of 17 and 50 cents so he just like photoshopped it or something threw a couple zeros on it they figured out that he made the statement on a computer he literally photoshopped a statement on his own computer just he's got 17 bucks in the account 17 yeah that's it unbelievable so he's arrested and charged with bank fraud. They go to his residence there.

He's in a guest house of an Encino property that used to belong to Macy Gray, the singer. The Black Ford Flex is parked right outside. They arrest him. They arrest Gavanis, all these different people. When they search Dykstra, they find a metal cylinder containing cocaine as well.

Of course, a search of his property also turned up ecstasy. And days later, the owner of the guest house called police to tell them there was drugs in the refrigerator. When the police showed up, he found four unopened bottles

of serostim, which is a synthetic HGH, a human growth hormone, next to a loaf of bread and a carton of muscle milk. So this is dinner, apparently, here. Bread and muscle milk. That's it.

And this shit. The box is traced back to an HIV patient, not Charlie Sheen, who had been acquired them with legitimate prescription, and he said they had been stolen from his home. So Lenny is stealing aids patients fucking human growth hormone that's is that is there a lower horror have you hit rock bottom

my friend that's that's disgusting they didn't know if they if they were actually stolen or what the police they didn't have any proof of that so uh he's charged with bankruptcy fraud now uh along with grand theft auto uh the shit that he stole out of his house after the bankruptcy state thing, they said it was $400,000 worth of sports memorabilia, fixtures, and a dresser is what they said here. Yeah, he's fucking just done here.

Absolutely fucked. He was paid, apparently after he filed for bankruptcy, he was paid cash at an L.A. consignment store for personal items, including a truckload of furnishings and fixtures he took from the mansion. So that's what he did here. He admitted in bankruptcy hearing to having arranged the sale of sports memorabilia and a dresser that were property of the bankruptcy estate.

He also ripped out a $50,000 sink from the home and installed it in his office at the Camarillo Airport, of the bankruptcy estate he also ripped out a fifty thousand dollar sink from the home and installed it in his office at the camarillo airport which is probably worth more than the whole fucking building it's probably a tin shed by the airport with a fifty thousand dollar sink in it jesus that he washes his balls in gross you know he does jesus fucking Christ. So they arrest him on the grand theft auto charges also, and he is held on $500,000 bail. It's eventually lowered, and Charlie Sheen bails him out of jail. No. Charlie Sheen absolutely bails him out of jail.

What a nice guy. What a great guy. I think it was like 24 grand he had to pay. His creditors listings here, here is what he owes some major people. There's a shitload more than this. $12.9 million unsecured to the Washington Mutual, which is now Chase. That's the financial crisis took Washington Mutual. $4.2 million unsecured to Bank of America, their credit card units.

Credit card units. Wow, $4 million in credit cards? I don't even know how to say that. How do you get that? $3.5 million to Rockbridge Bank in Atlanta. $2.5 million to David and Teresa Litt Real Estate Pros in Calabasas, California. $1.5 million to K&L Gates LLP, a Santa Monica law firm. Gates?

You spend a million and a half dollars on fucking Gates? $1.1 million to the United Commercial Bank. $962,000 to private jet companies in new york cleveland and california and 512 000 to the california state labor department's enforcement unit that's a lot of fucking money that's too much money and then there's a lot of other smaller creditors the smallest creditor on there's 512 000 so those are just his major ones and under the half a million he's got tons of people. He owes $10,000 here, $20,000 there. Hotel bills he hasn't paid, shit like that.

Yeah. So January of 2011, a stripper slash porn actress says that he bounced a $1,000 check he wrote to her. He wrote a bad check to a stripper slash porn actress. To a prostitute, basically. Yeah. Well, she came over. I know that's not her usual profession, but that was her duty that evening was that. Like, you know, I'm not a landscaper, but if I mow my lawn, I'm landscaping.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It's one of those things. So she had a blog after that talking about this whole thing. She says no illegal or sexual activity occurred during her time with dykstra because she's not going to put that on the internet no you can't she also said she was hired strictly as quote his companion to have drinks and conversation with one morning at the avalon hotel in la and after the check bounced he she said she researched lenny dykstra and found a

bunch of old stories from a bunch of women. She says, apparently he rips off legitimate and established business people regularly. She's including herself with four dealerships in Washington Mutual Bank, which, you know what? She didn't fold. Or maybe she's saying, you know, he rips off legitimate people. Why wouldn't that's what I thought. Yeah, that's how I took it, too. So June 6, 2011. So June 6, 2011, this is when it's going to court for the Grand Theft Auto there that we talked about.

They found, like we said, all sorts of shit. He's basically arrested for 25 counts after this. 25 misdemeanor felony counts, misdemeanor and felony counts, Grand Theft Auto, identity theft, filing false financial statements, possession of cocaine, ecstasy, HGH, you name it. He pleads not guilty to the charges, but later changes his plea to no contest to grant theft auto and providing false financial statements in exchange for dropping the drug charges. So 2000, that was that August 25th, 2011. Dykstra is charged with exposing himself to a string of women who answered Craigslist unemployment ads. Okay, maybe this is rock. Oh, no, he's not hiring them.

He's just having them come over to look at his cock. That's the job? That's the cock gazing. No, the job is a personal assistant and massaging. And they come over and then he goes, what do you think of this thing? Exactly. And they're like, I got to go. Have a good one.

So that'll get some out of there early. And they probably show up and they see his cock and they go, yeah, I thought that's what this was. That's about right. It seemed like what it was. I mean, Craigslist, got to go. Yeah. I guess I should have looked at LinkedIn. Shit.

It's not a good place to find jobs zip recruiter i should really be on zip recruiter app this is using a small town murder crime and sports codes there he's charged with two misdemeanor counts of indecent exposure after they say he exposed himself to six women six this is a pattern yeah who answered ads he placed on craigslist between 09 and 2011 seeking a housekeeper or personal assistant uh he's accused of exposing himself here quote he would inform them that they also needed to give him a massage and then he would take his clothes off and expose them to yeah yeah that's part of it and my cock's gonna be out the whole time

so october in 2011 he changes his uh. This is the official prosecutor's drop 21 charges. He pleads to grant theft auto and all that shit, financial stuff. 2011 in November, he's in a rehab facility somewhere, and he gives an interview here. And he says, Jesus Christ, he says, quote, this will be there will be a good ending. Just like I knew when I was growing up that I was going to be a major league baseball player. But there's work I have to do in a price I'm going to have to pay. Oh, boy, are you? So he's but no concept of he's sitting in a rehab awaiting jail time.

And he's like, this is going to be good. I think this is the beginning of a glorious road that I'm going to follow in my life. Yeah, no concept of failure so uh uh march 5th 2012 he uh he tried to withdraw his no contest plea and he has a rambling and impassioned plea for probation because they're going to sentence him here he says he's tried to make amends for his past transgressions and his motion to withdraw his plea had it been granted he would have been cleared of all wrongdoing but they won't let they won't let him withdraw his plea so he's got to say he's guilty he said quote i'm doing everything in my power to be a better person yeah just everything here he said he's got nearly

a year's worth of credit served toward his sentence that's coming up and uh he is sentenced to you sir may fuck off three years in state state prison for him with a year's credit for time served, which is not terrible there. They said his lawyer said that he was singled out because he's a celebrity. No. That's it. He got singled out because he's fucking up. He's doing criminal shit. His lawyer says, no way.

This wasn't a probationary case to give him state prison is outrageous. I find it disgusting oh well he didn't take your financial information and try to buy fucking cars with it so maybe you'd feel differently now 2012 is the craigslist shit here he pleads no contest to charges of lewd conduct and assault uh and assault later on uh the prosecutor said that uh like we said the the job interviews type thing uh one defense one particular woman though in july 2010 said that he held a knife to her and forced her to massage his body well that's what she said so he ends up having to plead to assault with a deadly

weapon as well uh out of this so that that came up right at the end but no sex crime but no sex well yeah two misdemeanor counts no contest to lewd conduct and assault with a deadly weapon so yeah he's not gonna have to be a registered sex offender or anything so uh he'll only have to serve 90 days in jail for that wow uh yeah not not you know whatever in three years probation that these these lawyers will bitch when they get a stiff sentence what they deem there's there's never a time that a lawyer comes out and goes you know we won today and it's because he's a celebrity it's because we did really great today and it's because he's lenny dykes luckily he's well known thank christ that lawyer just or the the judge just wanted an

autograph the money the notoriety the lawyers it all helps really it really really helps really came through on this one no shit uh He's ordered also three years probation. He's ordered to stay away from the five victims and told not to solicit on Craigslist or any other social network. He's banned from Craigslist. That's fucking sad. You got to be gross for that. Yeah, this is also going to run concurrent, though, with his Grand Theft Auto, so it doesn't matter here. Basically, they sent out a statement saying all this, And so, yeah, it doesn't matter here.

Later in 2012, he pleads no contest to some other shit here. We'll talk about this in a second. The bankruptcy fraud court. He admits to bankruptcy fraud. He admits to lying, admits to selling shit. He admits that there's at least 10 creditors who are victims of his crimes. And each victim lost between 200 and $400,000. He admitted to $400,000 worth of fixtures, including chandeliers, mirrors, a stove,

and a grandfather clock from the mansion, and secretly selling them. He also accused of secretly selling $15,000 of his own memorabilia, including baseballs, gloves, and bats. So this one, they give him another three years for this but this is also concurrent with the grand theft auto so he's got three years with a year time served basically uh july 2013 he's released from prison served six and a half months so that's half of your time half of three years he's going to be required to do three years of probation including 500 hours of community service must enroll in substance abuse and

submit to drug testing and pay $200,000 to creditors, which isn't bad when you owe 30 million. It's pretty great. Not too fucking bad. Sweet deal. Yeah. He said that he completed his 500 hours of community service. He served meals to homeless people and helped in the thrift store and asked the Phillies

to send memorabilia for an auction. One of the guys who the general manager of the mission, said he was extremely motivated from the start because he's hyper. He's going to do whatever he's doing. He got around. He said that my life for the past year, this is when he's been out for a year,

has been my son's community service, and don't forget peeing in that cup. So he's been peeing in the cup. His wife, he's two years of probation uh left after a year drug tested every week to that point he ends up he's living with his ex-wife who says she has no plans to remarry him she says quote he's definitely been humbled he's definitely learned what's important he's still lenny with that headstrong personality but he has changed in that he knows what he lost and why that happened.

Family comes first to me, and Lenny was always good to me. But for a long time, I couldn't reason with him. He wouldn't listen. He was his own worst enemy. And what does he say? What does he say? They say, what's going on with you, Lenny? And he says, quote, I'm 445 and one.

What? They said, what's that? And they're talking about his new business venture. He said, I'm building a business because it's what a man does. Then he says that he says he read his first book in prison. First book ever in prison. We talked about that last time. He said, quote, I became addicted to money.

Money was my drug and a few other ones, too. But whatever. This is a pretty entertaining interview, isn't it? This is what he's saying to somebody. He says, though, he has 445 and 1 in his record of stock success. He says that he's preparing a marketing campaign that includes a letter from the Securities and Exchange Commission that believed he would defeat any skeptics. He said, quote, the SEC investigated me and they were going to put me in jail. was 110 and oh and everybody thought i was go i was uh

i was doing what what i was doing was bull it was crazy man the investigator tried hard but couldn't punch any holes in it i'm bulletproof i'm on federal probation i can't lie that i'm 445 and one i'm 445 and one so uh yeah that's uh that's what he's saying he's humbled that's what he's saying he's very humbled he's definitely he's definitely he's saying. He's humbled, is what he's saying. He's very humbled. He's definitely been shown how far he's fallen. He's seen it. He understands. He gets it. And it's time to now climb back up.

Yeah. April 2014, he finishes his probation and also his drug testing. I guess they let him off early for some reason. Living with Terry, like we said, still. 2014, his son Luke is drafted by the Atlanta Braves in the seventh round of the MLB draft. Not too shabby there, so two kids. June 2014, there's a biopic in the works, a film about him, not a documentary, a scripted film. An actual feature-length film.

That is going to be directed by the guy who directed The Blind Side. Wow. Yeah, huge major picture here. Are they going to put all this in it? I would fucking hope so here. They were going to get together and do a movie on him, and that ended up not happening, obviously. So, 2015, Dykstra is accused of stealing $50,000 in jewelry from Brett Rossi, who's a porn star who was engaged to Charlie Sheen.

Perfect. So she's raiding his house. Apparently she told TMZ that Dykstra offered to help her sell jewelry and then he just kept everything except for a pair of diamond earrings. And she said the earrings she got back were fake. So he stole all her jewelry. Landed over some CZs. Gave her some fucking shit she got from JCPenney and went on her way. Like, there you go.

That's the one. Scamming porn stars. Wow. October 15th, or October 2015, Lenny says he spent $500,000. This is when he comes out saying he used to spy on major league umpires. He said that he would, including affairs and gay sex and shit like that. He said that he would basically, he said their blood's just as red as ours. Some of them like women, some of them like men, some of them gamble, some of them do whatever.

So he said it wasn't a coincidence that I led the league in walks for the next few years, was it? That he did all this. He says, fear does a lot to a man. He talked about like, hey, did you have a good time at some gay bar last night? And the ump would be like, huh? And the next thing you know, he'd get all the calls. That's what he said. That's his claim.

Who the fuck knows? November 2015, he says he has brain damage. Okay. Which I fucking wholeheartedly believe. I think that's very obvious. The first thing in this entire episode he said that I believe is I have brain damage. We know. That explains it.

Perfect. He says he received the brain damage not from running into walls headfirst or colliding with teammates at full speed at the hands of corrupt cops during his stint in the L.A. County jail. No. He wants $15 million from the County of Los Angeles here. Uh, he says,

uh, one of the deputies was whistling. Take me out to the ball game while he beat him within inches of his life. He said that, uh, he, uh, the deputies claim,

he claims deputies pulled, uh, him out of his cell and beat him so badly that his teeth were broken out of his skull. Wow. Yep. He says that the deputies didn't like him and made it their mission to kick his ass. He says the result of the beatings, he fears he has brain damage and worries that, quote, his head is not entirely well, which is you don't have to worry that nailed it. Your head is definitely not entirely.

I nailed it is right. Nailed it. Your head is definitely not entirely right. Nailed it is right. He also says he's without teeth and he has eating problems. And he says that he believes the attack was captured on video, but feels that it was probably destroyed later on. And they had no comment. Nothing ever came of that.

June of 2016. This is after our last episode here. Wow. What a fucking mess here. June of 2016. He says that he's on Howard Stern and he says that he's now a gigolo for elderly women. He said, I thought God put me on earth to entertain people on the baseball field, but he actually put me on earth to pleasure women.

I'm like Picasso. He says that he has several elderly clients that pay him for companionship and romantic dinner dates. He says that most of the older women, it's more about intimacy than sex. He says, quote, their bones are brittle. You know, he can't tag them. Howard said, would you have sex with a woman who, you know, an older woman? And he said, if they paid me, it's my duty.

Yeah. He says, we're talking about Gray Bush here. Oh, boy. So this is. We know. Why do you have to say it like that? He said there are three grannies that he provides companionship to. He said, quote, it's 15 dimes a pop with these Beverly Hills widows.

It's kind of hard to say no. Is that 15? I think he's saying that these women are paying him $15,000 to have sex with them. No. No. There's no way that's possible. Well, if it him $15,000 to have sex with them. No. No. There's no way that's possible. Well, if it was, you'd be having sex with all the ladies in Beverly Hills all over the place. I'd never see you again.

No, you'd just be in Beverly Hills making too much money. I'm so sorry, James. I hope you enjoy the podcast. I'm fucking my way through the hills. I'm fucking my way to retirement by next year. Yeah, through Rodeo Drive. I'm doing this twice a day. Yeah, Jesus Christ. by next year oh yeah through rodeo drive i'm doing this twice a day yeah jesus christ yeah he said uh this whole shit here man he said that uh you told howard stern that plane became my my drug

you know his private plane he said for instance you're sitting around your hotel suite fucking bored saying where do you want to go i spun the globe and wanted to go to monaco i was trying to tap that Princess Stephanie. I just wanted some royalty on the belt. God, that's the grossest. He's such a fucking scumbag. Why does he think that people believe this? That's right.

He's fucking ridiculous, man. He also went on Dan Patrick's show and said, you know, he's talking about old times. And he said all about steroids. And he said, you know, he's a small guy. He had to take steroids. Dan Patrick is a huge Howard Stern fan. I guarantee you heard the interview and was like, get him fucking tomorrow. This is going to be great.

Right now. He's still in New York. He talked about Rebound Finance, his new venture. He says, quote, hard work and hustle took me from an underdog to world champion and multimillionaire entrepreneur who just got out of jail and had to pee in a cup. Pee in a cup for a fucking state employee. My life also knocked me down. I know better than anyone that no matter how much success you've had, sometimes good people

need a second chance. So he's going to help you rebound. And then his book comes out, House of Nails, which after our last episode, it wasn't out yet. He talks about how partying was his full-time job, talking about rehab facilities. He talks about Charlie Sheen and several other people. He said that he was in Promises, which is rehab in Malibu that you hear a lot about the celebrities going to.

He said a lot of actors and celebrities were there, and Charlie Sheen was there. And he said that he was the low man on the totem pole, Len was as far as fame goes there a lot of famous people he said charlie walked up to him and said hey man i know what you're feeling i was just like you i felt the same way but you should try to stick it out uh so he said uh jesus christ man this is uh he said uh cut to this is uh in book, fast forward to 2014. That's the last time, I guess, he was hanging out with Charlie. On a Friday afternoon around 5 p.m., he said he receives a phone call from a woman who's crying hysterically. And he said, who is this?

And she said, it's Scottine. Scottine? I'm Charlie's fiance. I said, okay, why are you crying? She said that Charlie was smoking crack and that he would hold up in his room for nine straight days she said he told her to leave and stop ruining his buzz which sounds exactly like charlie i'm smoking crack stop ruining my fucking buzz he's not even embarrassed he's like i'm trying to catch a buzz in here you're fucking it up he said why are you calling me about this she said quote because everyone told me you're the only person that charlie will

listen to who has the balls to stop him. He says, when I pulled up, she was waiting in one of the Mercedes Charlie owned. She was obviously shaken up. I said, get me through the gates. I'll take care of it. She said, you will never find him. I responded, what are you talking about? I've been to Charlie's house thousands of times.

She said, nobody knows about this room. It's in the master bedroom, but it's behind a bookcase, and you have to punch a code to get in. I need that so fucking bad. is rad that's awesome that sounds like he's got a crack den with a fucking like a nuclear yeah i want that so bad i'm not gonna smoke crack in there but i'll just sit in there that is awesome eat ice cream and be away from everybody that's tremendous that's like nicky six's heroin den but he had no no nothing have a code he just had a lock yeah he said so lenny said okay you'll have to walk me up the stairs and with me and punch in the code and i'll handle it from there as uh she's walking up to the bedroom one of charlie's security guards he's got security

guards uh that's that's smoking crack crack with class stand outside that door so i don't have to be paranoid on crack no you don't have to be paranoid you got security guards that's tremendous uh this guy stopped and said quote you're not allowed up there. Charlie gave us strict orders that nobody's allowed in the house. He said, I fired back. Fuck you. The only way you're going to stop me is to shoot me. You fucking people are as bad as the drug dealer.

So call the cops or shoot me in the back. But I'm going to save my friend's life because Lenny's. Yeah, he's treating this like platoon. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to go get get him i'm getting him out i'm gonna pull charlie out that's it and he said well you'd be shoving him in right charlie sheen this charlie well you said vietnam and charlie it's very confusing he said the room was out of a hitchcock movie uh sliding bookcase and all he said he felt like a character in a mystery spy

thriller he walked in and charlie was standing there with a crack pipe in one hand and his phone in the other obviously surprised to see me i took one look around and i said charlie i have to admit if you're going to smoke crack this has to be the best crack room on the planet which that is true charlie this is impressive i don't want you to smoke crack but wow this is a great crack smoking room i have an insurance guy that would love to talk to you i smell you smell mold you smell mold i smell crack no but beyond the crack i smell a little mold he said uh it was unbelievable a theater babe ruth's ring cincinnati reds jerseys and some of the coolest paintings i've ever seen charlie sheen's a huge sports fan huge baseball fan

all fucking amazing after breaking the ice i got serious with charlie i said is this it is this what you've worked your whole life for charlie, do you realize what you have been in this room for nine straight days? What the fuck kind of life is this? Hold up in a room smoking crack by yourself. I told him, you remember that show you own, Anger Management? Today is Friday and you have to be at work on Monday. Give me all the drugs. I'm flushing them down the toilet. He said, Charlie, you have to go to sleep. What are you doing? Where do you keep your sleeping shit?

Which, you know, sleeping pills. He said he pulled out a drawer and got Valium. He said, take two and go to sleep. I'll call tomorrow and check on you. And he said that Charlie said, wait, wait, can you do me a favor? I said, sure. What do you need? He said, I need you to stay at the house because if you don't, I'll order more shit.

So he needs Lenny Dykstra to ground him, he's saying here. He said, the next four days, Charlie went dark. I checked on him every few hours and would bring him a pizza when he would get hungry. He told me that's all he wanted to eat was pizza. When he decided to come downstairs, he immediately started drinking anything and everything. He had one goal to escape reality. But what I witnessed was a guy who was on a mission to check out permanently. So he talks about all this shit,

how Charlie Sheen's trying to kill himself and all this crazy shit. Uh, he, it's, then he, he goes on, uh, later on, he says,

uh, Charlie Sheen wanted to talk to him and he said, sure. What's up, bro. You all right. And he said, he came over to the couch I was sitting on and sat next to me on the left.

And I said, dude, what's going on? Talk to me. And Charlie leaned forward and said, I got the HIV yeah that's the end of his charlie sheen chapter and he never wants to see that guy i got the hiv so now i don't hang out with charlie sheen yeah so there's that now could you not say that so close to me charlie don't breathe on me jesus christ man he said that he would hang out with uh uh jack nicholson and jack nicholson would fucking uh hang out with Jack Nicholson, and Jack Nicholson would fucking hang out with him and shit like that.

He called Jack Nicholson his wingman. Let's be honest. Come on. You're the wingman, maybe the shrapnel guy at best. You're catching a stray, if anything else. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. So then he talks about Mickey Rourke.

He wants to just hang out with Coxman. That's it. That's all it is. Jack Nicholson So then he talks about Mickey Rourke. He wants to just hang out with Coxman. That's it. That's all it is. That's all Jack Nicholson, Charlie Sheen, Mickey Rourke. These are the famous Coxmen of Hollywood, all three of these guys. Oh, he's such a dick.

His next chapter's on Wilt Chamberlain. It's fucking ridiculous. Me and Wilt Chamberlain, yeah, I can fuck more women than him. He said he started hanging out with Mickey Rourke. Yeah. And he said- Ethan Hawke and all these guys. Oh, yeah. He said Mickey Rourke. Yeah. And he said... Ethan Hawke and all these guys.

Oh, yeah. This is... He said Mickey Rourke was down and out at the time. Because Mickey Rourke's career took a big shit before the rest of it. Mickey's face or Mickey's career? Both. He was done. He said that they shared a $3,000 a night bungalow that he rented in Beverly Hills Hotel.

He said Mickey always wore a stupid scarf and carried that little fucking dog with him everywhere. He does. Which he still does. Yeah. He said they went on a 10 scarf and carried that little fucking dog with him everywhere. He does. Which he still does. He said they went on a 10-day run of partying. Mickey and his crew of people, he said they were bottom feeders who clung on to him like shit on a shoe. He said they were all hitting the cocaine nonstop. He said he was supposed to have checked in at rehab. Lenny was.

And he was getting calls from their staff every fucking day going, where are you? And he kept telling them, don't worry, I'll be there. So he said he was hitting the booze and cocaine hard. And then finally, on the 10th day, he looked in the mirror and felt like shit about himself. He said, wow, this is fucking bad. He said, I look like the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt. This is an all-time low. He said, I need to get the fuck out of here.

He told Mickey Rourke, I'm all done. Roll it up, man. I got to go check in to Promises. And he said he checked out of the hotel. The bill must have been 300 grand. 300. Were they there for 100 days? Yeah.

You would have to be there for 100 days. Almost four months. Yeah. A hundred days of crack smoking and coke doing. Wow. He said, I'll make anybody go. You know what? I'm going to go to rehab.

This is. Yeah, this is. This is plenty. It's cheaper than this. He said. And it wasn't just me and works bill we had our we had our monkeys and a group of chicks who are monkeys i think those are like their friends and people who go get them drugs and shit and a group of chicks who ate and drank like there was no tomorrow okay and they put it all on my tab and i didn't give a flying fuck so he said he uh he said he he he went and uh got a limo and took a group of he took my group

of freeloaders with me to promises there was some shit left so i parked in my limo in the front of promises right outside the gate and told my driver i gotta go in there and dry out but when i go inside i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm going in like a ball of flames let's finish this shit up and so uh he said that limo was parked out there for five days. It was me and the driver and a bunch of women. After long nights of nonstop partying, we finished everything we had. Finally, the last line of coke was snorted. I walked up to the promises gate and pounded on it.

It felt like five days. Yeah, it was probably 15 minutes. Right. We had some shit left for five days. That back of that fucking the back seat would have to be full. For your monkeys and your girls to all be partying for five days. People would have to shit and piss. Where's your food?

What are you talking about? Can we go in and piss in the rehab center? Davey Johnson, the manager of the 86 Mets who won the World Series, Lenny said of him, quote, he was drunk every night and frequently hung over just enough the next day to not know what was going on. That and he was probably the worst communicator I've ever been associated with in baseball. And Ron Darling said, Lenny's a different kind of guy and I've had my own comments about Davey, but I think these are absolutely below the belt about Davey. He says, all Davey has to say is look at the record, look at my record, one of the best of all time. So in this

book he also said that he hung out with Robert De Niro he said in another one of his 30-day jaunts here he said he was supposed to be in yet another rehab he ended up in St. Bart's and he said he was eating drinking a banana daiquiri when he said there was the raging bull himself sitting at the next table one thing led to to another. And next thing I knew, we were in a bathroom suite, a bathroom of his suite, and it was powder fucking city. He says that De Niro, the guy was a pro, dipping his finger in the Coke and numbing his gums. I don't think he knew who the hell I was. I could tell he wasn't a sports guy, but he sure liked hitting the slopes with me.

He said, the next thing I know, De Niro took half my blow. We went back to the restaurant and he sent over a thousand dollar bottle of wine. He did this three nights in a row. A couple of years later, I ran into De Niro at a restaurant in Tribeca and went up to him and said, hey, remember me? And he gave me a look like I was an ugly redheaded stepchild. Celebrities, man. That's what he says here.

Robert De Niro responded to that by saying he's full of shit. Yeah. So that's all he had to say. That's it. Mickey Rourke's Mickey Rour's all he had to say that's it mickey rorks mickey rorks says uh he doesn't like that lenny says he owes him 30 grand for the room so he says he said about lenny you know what dude we need to fucking get it lenny says about him you know you know what dude we need to fucking get it on mano mano a mano and mickey says that next time

he sees dykstra he's going to bash his fucking face in on sight. So that's that. So I believe him. He's fucked over everybody. Yeah. I mean, he's got a family. He does. He's got a wife. He's got kids.

He's got kids that see this. I feel bad for all these people, man, but not nearly as bad as I feel for Len Dykstra, a social worker at Niagara North Family Health Team in Toronto, Canada. Here, Len Dykstra, a retired music teacher from Ontario, Canada, northern Ontario. Those are the only two I could really find. So also in July of 2016, he still owes 150 grand in restitution from his bankruptcy case. And according to this, he has to repay the restitution because of the fraud. And the government is demanding

that Lenny's book publisher fork over all the money he makes off of House of Nails because it became a bestseller quickly. How about that? And he said until they're square, he said, you know, he was obviously trying not to.

Now he's getting sued about a week after that. People know a shineman of no regrets entertainment claims Dykstra hired him in May to promote his House of Nails memoir he's getting sued about a week after that. People, Noah Scheinman of No Regrets Entertainment claims Dykstra hired him in May to promote his House of Nails memoir and that things were going so well, Dykstra praised him in emails and he had these saying he

was the driving force behind his brand and blah, blah, blah. The mastermind behind Dykstra's success on Twitter because he's his ghostwriter. Here this guy is. And Dykstra fired him so he could secure all the rewards of the book for himself and didn't pay him $76,000 he's owed. So he's also a cut of a Live Nation performance by Dijkstra.

There. We all know about that. Yeah, that's familiar. June 2017, he says, they interview him and he goes, my first chapter couldn't have gone better about his life. The big leagues and the money, the second chapter, that was a little rough. Sort of slipping. My third chapter hasn't been written yet, though.

Wait. I still haven't decided what my epitaph is going to be. Hold on. No concept of failure. What part of no concept of failure haven't we gotten through here? I thought you were talking about like... No, no. His book? No, no. His life.

That's his life. He's talking about baseball was his first chapter. Then everything after is a little rocky. Now it's good. This is the third act where he becomes the hero. The part where he fucking lost everything is a little rocky? A little rocky little rocky slightly slightly rocky holy shit so uh right after that

amazing isn't it i am such a success by letty dykstra isn't it amazing you just say it and write it down see 50 million me you're crushing it. Hold on. Wait. I just circled it. Now it's 100 million. Look at how quick that goes. August 2017, he's accused by a former Fox News guest, a person who had accused both Lenny and a Fox News host of sexual harassment here. March 20, 2011, she says, Lenny Dykstra So she is he March 20th, 2011. She says Lenny Dykstra persistently asked me to quote party and told me that he gets sexually aroused when I talk politics.

Yeah. He also harassed the makeup artist who was curling my hair at the time. He did this in the fucking makeup room. She said that Dykstra quote seemed high during the encounter and that her and the makeup artist both refused Dykstra's offer and that the star grabbed her by the wrist and said inappropriate comments about women were normal for him. Like, listen, I say bitch and spear chucker, okay, just to let you know. So then she said, quote, I'm a trained martial artist and it took a lot of self-control not to respond to his physical violence in any kind. Instead, I broke the wrist grab and told him to leave. He said, Mr. Dykstra is absolutely wrong that my coming forward is about getting attention.

This is about using my voice to stand up on behalf of women and men who face similar circumstances. So he didn't go on Fox News anymore after that. And he says about it they ask her she he says quote she's just one of many dude she she got to get on the space shuttle that's what he said that is not something you say and he said that he does admit that he found political talk from attractive women sexually arousing because i do get turned on by that who knows i could have said a lot of things yeah uh yeah this whole thing here so august of 2017 he is uh checked into a hotel in the hampton south hampton in new york there on

long island for two nights with a young brunette guests complain about noise and the smell of weed smoke uh he's uh he's here uh he says he didn't use drugs or anything like that this is a 1500 a night hotel this sort of place here. The owner of the hotel said, quote, you could smell the marijuana smoke throughout the hotel. They were ordering a big bucket of ice and extra towels every few hours. At 3 a.m., Lenny called down and my brother went to the room, knocked, and he was invited by the girl. He was invited in by the girl who was fully naked.

So the Hamptons air this whole thing. When Lenny left, there were open bottles of vodka and Jack Daniels stuff everywhere. The cleaner saw drug baggies. She saw the worst room she's ever seen. He left a suitcase and a bag behind and a note to ship them to his home. But there were no sheets, pillowcases or towels left in the room. So this guy told called Dykstra's friends who knew something to open his suitcase who were still at the hotel they opened his suitcase it had 14 towels pillowcases and bed

sheets he took he took he fucking stripped the beds and in a laundry bag were 10 pairs of ladies shoes a weed pipe and the hotel soap dish what a weirdo what a fucking weirdo that is such a strange pilfering uh yeah he also says on the way out he also stole my receptionist sunglasses we have it on video and 11 pens with our hotel yeah what he denied he said what no i didn't steal anything the stuff is still at the hotel there was no maid service towels and sheets were piling up so i put them all in the laundry bag for them and then put my address on and told him to ship them to him i did them a favor and they call it stealing this is ridiculous i was doing drugs absolutely not wow he also said nobody took anybody's glasses about the sunglasses they're saying that the room got

trashed like keith richards it's all lies about that naked woman i might have had 10 women in the room that night might have had 15 might have had 20 that night. Might have had 15. Might have had 20. Actually, the only thing I had in that room was my dick in my hand. Wow. So he denies all of that. He says, it's all lies. That's his quote. Yeah. They said, though, this is a normal thing for him.

An old friend of his says, back in the day, room repairs after hotel checkouts were often in the six figures. A $28,000 repair bill at the Four Seasons. It's Motley Crue type behavior here. And he says, that's bullshit. He said, quote, are you kidding me? I am a hotel dream. I stay at the St. Regis more than any place. I should be guest of the year.

I should be guest of the year. St. Regis. What? Is she the only person with Ray-Ban sunglasses? Those are mine. He said the sunglasses are the receptionist for actually his tour. So at this point, yeah, he's out there sitting in I don't even know where brooding. I'm going to say, where is he?

He's out somewhere at a bar sitting at the bar by himself brooding. Yeah. I'd say there's nowhere else he could be. Nowhere else he could be. And he just doesn't know what to do with himself. But he thinks everything's fine until we walk in. That's right. James and Jimmy walk in. That's right. James and Jimmy walk in and we say,

How is it you've come to arrive here? You dumb motherfucker. Fuck is wrong with you? What is your... You stupid... First of all, you said spear chucker to an employee? How could you? How fucking dumb are you?

I guarantee you, your little stubby dick is not impressive enough to be showing people, you dumb bastard. Don't be whipping that out at Craigslist. The fuck is wrong with you? You're a World Series champion. You played for the Phillies. Jesus. You played for them.

People know who you are. They know you, Lenny. When you do stupid shit, they go, hey, look, there's Lenny Dykes for doing stupid shit. Not there's a guy. Holy Christ. You dumb fuck. Poof. Poof of weed smoke and giggling and headphones.

We're gone. But we needed to talk to him because nobody else we've had to come back for a second fucking angle on here. Unbelievable. So, yeah. Then there was the whole thing with Lena Dunham saying he wanted to fuck Lena Dunham. Remember? Yeah.

And back and forth. I'm not going to get into all that. Who gives a shit? February 2018. This is better, by the way. February 2018, he accuses Charlie Sheen of murder. This is a little more juicy than Lena Dunham. Sorry, Lena Dunham, but nobody cares about you.

Who is he? The guy from InfoWars? This is amazing. Alex Jones. Charlie Sheen killed a woman. He's just doing mad libs on shit. Not a woman, a man. Yeah.

He says that he met back up with Charlie Sheen when he got out of prison in 2013, and he asked about the death of Rick Calamaro, who was, I guess, Lenny's personal assistant, and he overdosed in 2012. And he said after he got out of jail, he did this did this and he said what the fuck happened to Calamaro and Charlie said quote you mean dead Rick what fucking happened is the motherfucker tried to blackmail me just like you said wanted

five million I had him fucking iced he said that he had a hot dose put in there like on the wire when Avon's in prison and he gets everybody killed and no one's just never mind so whatever so yeah hot dose put in there, like on The Wire when Avon's in prison and he gets everybody killed and no one's just never mind. So whatever. So, yeah, he basically gave the guy overdose on purpose is what he's saying that this guy

said. That's what he said. Charlie said he doesn't have any evidence or anything. Charlie's lawyers denied the claims, calling it disturbing, vile and outright ridiculous, they said. And if he said if if Sheen was going to kill anybody uh if he did such a thing he's not going to tell lenny dykstra is what they said uh yeah it's it's the last fucking guy i'm telling anything that yeah apart from get your shit together lenny what does he want out of

charlie sheen why is he doing this well lenny says he wants to make a movie about char about charlie sheen oh god he said there are so many people to interview, from prison guards to my private plane pilots to pussy. He doesn't even call them women. He just calls them pussy. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

He said, Charlie is getting what he deserves. Okay? He bailed you out of jail one time. The man has HIV. Let him be.

Leave him alone. He's already fucked up enough. Fuck, man. 2000. Pick on Emilio. No one leaves him alone just fine. Never gets... Pick on him. What's he doing?

Hey, Emilio. He's like, I'm just in my house, man. Just leave me alone. Poor Emilio. 2018, a friend arranges with a dentist fan of Lenny Dykstra to make him dentures so he can finally eat properly. These are deluxe dentures for free. They're made from bone marrow or with bone marrow and they're valued

at $80,000. Some expensive teeth. April of 2018, Wayne Gretzky buys his old house back. Really? Yeah, he got his old house back. Oh, he sold it to Lenny for $18.5 million, buys it back 10 years later or 15 years later for $13.5 million. How about that?

To make a handsome $5 million. He's in the same house now with $5 million more. Great. So that's not bad there. May 23, 2018, 3 o'clock in the morning, Lenny's in an Uber.

He's picked up by an Uber at Crescent Circle in Linden, New Jersey. He's supposed to be dropped off in Clark, New Jersey. As they pull away, though, he tells the driver he changed his mind.

He wants to go to Staten Island. The driver says that in order to change his destination, it had to be changed changed his mind. He wants to go to Staten Island. The driver says that in order to change his destination, you know, it had to be changed on his phone. It has to go through the pool. It's not how it works. It's not in a cab.

Uh, Lenny then, he says, placed a black pill bag with an object in it, uh, that the driver believed to be a gun to the driver's head. And he said, quote,

take me to Staten Island or I'll blow your fucking head off to the, to the Uber driver. So, uh, yeah, that's the phrase he said, quote, take me to Staten Island or I'll blow your fucking head off to the to the Uber driver. So, yeah, that's the phrase he said to take me to Staten Island or I'll blow your fucking head off, which has not been said since the Wu Tang clan. I would assume that at some point to somebody other than that, he definitely said that the genius absolutely said, yeah, take me to Staten Island. I'll blow your fucking head off. The genius absolutely said, take me to Staten Island. I'll blow your fucking head off. So anyway, yeah, the driver said he was in fear for his life, and he believed Dykstra would kill him because he's a crazy person.

And he just said it. Yeah. So the driver drove away and pulled up instead in front of the Linden Police Department and exited the vehicle, quote, screaming for help, according to the police report. Brilliant. He claimed Dykstra had a gun. The officers responded by patting him down and Dykstra claimed he had no gun

and in fact, the driver had kidnapped him. He just wanted a ride and the driver just took him on a ride. What, you kidnap someone then take them to the police station? That's a weird tale. He said that Dykstra attempted to walk toward the vehicle but the officer had his hand in Dykstra's chest

and the chest told him to relax. Dykstra then said he allowed the police officers to search his bag. He said, I'll show you everything I have. Look, look through my bag. So the officer approached and then Dykstra took his consent away and said, no, no, no, you can't look through my bag. You can look at all this shit except for, you know, this has a gun in it. And they said, well, he said you have a gun, so we're going to look through it anyway.

It's probable cause here. So they searched the bags and they say they found a pill bottle containing a weed, a glass pipe with weed in it, and also a straw with cocaine residue in it. They found two pills that were turned out to be MDMA and a baggie containing weed and a clear vial containing cocaine. Why does he have money for drugs? Search my bag. No, don't search my back. Never mind. He's given his Miranda warnings.

The officer noted that, quote, Lenny did not seem to be fully awake and did not provide comprehensible responses. At that point, Lenny vaguely stated to me that he did not want to speak to me. I don't want to talk to you anymore. So that's what happened. He's charged with third degree making terroristic threats third degree charges for possession of cocaine and mdma and disorderly persons charges for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia that's just a traffic ticket he's released and summoned and blah blah blah the next day he takes to twitter uh to respond to the allegations and to quote uh

taylor swift lyrics he quotes is Taylor Swift? He literally No, he quoted like the whole, I'm not going to get into the verse. We don't have time. But he quoted like a verse of Shake It Off. It is Shake It Off. Oh, it's Shake It Off. He said, but I keep cruising can't stop, won't stop moving.

It's like I got this music in my mind saying it's going to be alright. Nailed it. That's what he fucking posted yeah yeah uh he said i don't even know what to say about this you played in the world series then he's then he won it the driver said he took him hostage and took him on a ride and he said quote the guy went nuclear on me he said he kidnapped him locked him inside the vehicle and drove 100 miles an hour. There is no one that's like Charlie Sheen, like Lenny. Do you know what I mean? Lenny has Charlie

inside. That is amazing. Those two are a great team. Anything he says, you could put it in Charlie Sheen's mouth and it would sound like Charlie said it. It's incredible. Oh, absolutely. It's the same guy. That's amazing. He said he bought a house at this point in Linden, New Jersey, not far from the Newark airport.

He says he's going to flip it, though. He's been doing renovation and putting it on social media. He said, quote, I didn't buy it because I wanted to live in Linden fucking New Jersey. In fact, I think New Jersey might be the worst state of all 50. I'll go on the record on that. I just don't like it. Charlie Sheen would say that. And I would say, you're right, sir.

I believe you're correct. So it's not worse than Alabama or Florida. I'd invite you to live in fucking Linden, New Jersey. Fucking Linden, New Jersey. So he said that, Jesus Christ. He said he wanted to go to Staten Island on the night of his Uber arrest. He was going to buy granite for his countertops in the middle of the night at 3.30 in the morning. He said, my guy's an early riser, so I was going to have breakfast with him at 5 o'clock before we go to the yard.

I was going to the quarry. We were going to go chisel it out ourselves. Jesus Christ, man. This is fucking crazy. On the next day after this, Philadelphia announces that he is uninvited to their 25th anniversary 1993 National League Championship gathering the next day. He should be. In the interest of keeping the focus on the entire 1993 team rather than on one individual, the Phillies have made the decision not to include Lenny Dykstra in the activities taking place to honor the 25th anniversary.

Pretty solid move. Yeah, we believe his presence could distract from the celebration of this beloved team. And how's he going to get here is the other thing right he can't you know he can't uber he can't uber at all uh yeah so june of 2018 he holds a press conference about the uber incident he says quote i was in fear of my life yeah in fear of my life uh he's got a mets hat on and they're like no let me put something else on. Get him a plain hat. Get him a plain hat. He said, I mean, they don't call me nails because I'm like, you know, soft.

I mean, look, I was literally in fear of my life, and I called 911, and I was screaming that this man is crazy, and he kidnapped me. His lawyer shows phone records at the press conference that seem to, who knows if he wrote them himself, seem to show that he called 911, but their authenticity could not be verified. That morning, Lenny Dykstra was the victim, his lawyer said. Lenny was a victim.

He was entrapped, falsely imprisoned, kidnapped, and held hostage in the back of an Uber trying to get out. He couldn't get out. So, his lawyers filed a false imprisonment charge against the driver. So, take that, mister. false imprisonment charge against the driver. So take that, mister. They got him?

They filed charges. Yeah, that's right. Uber said, quote, what's been detailed has no place on our app and we are reviewing the matter. At the time, both the driver and Lenny are both banned from Uber. Both? Both. So the driver. They fired him?

Oh, that's fucked up. That's fucked up, right? Yeah. That's shitty. That's so shitty, man. June of 2018 here. Police body cam footage here. Surfaces of the arrest. It's pretty fucking funny because it's Dykstra like, what the fuck in the sidewalk?

What's going on? He's like, he went crazy. I don't even have a fucking gun. He says, dude, I'm a convicted felon. I can't own a firearm. I don't even know how to shoot a gun. You don't know how to shoot fucking gun. He says, dude, I'm a convicted felon. I can't own a firearm. I don't even know how to shoot a gun. You don't know how to shoot a gun. Last time I shot a gun, he said I was duck hunting with Kevin McReynolds in 1988.

That's what he said. The old left fielder, right fielder for the for the Mets there on Nintendo even. Yeah. Wally Backman, the old second baseman there, he said, quote, It hurts to see what's happened to him. We were really close friends, but it's kind of painful to see what's happened to him physically, mentally. It's like, not again.

This is how I feel. That's what I feel on this and the last thing that happened. Just, it's, fuck, man. He says, I don't know the facts of the whole thing, though I've seen what his lawyer said,

but just the fact that he's put himself in the situation so many times, it's time to, I don't know, grow up and do the right thing. That part is true. Yes, yes, and yes. August 2018, he's suing CAA, which is a major giant agency.

Not ours. No. We rep in UTA, bitches. That's right. Sorry. Take that, CAA. They're fine. They're a very good agency.

They're fine. They didn't shop us. They did, actually. No, they did. That's right. They did. They actually liked us. They were good people, and they seemed like very nice people.

They were very sweet. We just like our people. But Lenny is suing them. Lenny's going they did they were actually liked us they were good people and they seem like very nice people they were very sweet we just like our people but lenny is uh suing them lenny's gonna sue them yeah actually here and uh and uh lenny file suit with the new york supreme court here suing caa saying that they screwed up his deal for a reality show they says a reality series entitled nails he had signed a signed a deal with Amazon to do all this thing. The lawsuit says that he was approached by various TV producers to do a show. He entered into an agreement here, and within weeks, he was beginning to feel like he was being stonewalled by the agency. He said, quote, obviously, this is not my world, but it's very frustrating when my partners make me feel like everything is top secret, he wrote in an email.

I don't believe I'm asking too much to be informed of what's going on with the docuseries. I was told by both of you that the show was basically sold and it was just a matter of getting the details worked out. There's not been a single word from anyone regarding what the structure of the deal is and what you're trying to do. What's the amount of money up front? Who's in charge? Blah, blah, blah. He says he was uh he was he says he was informed he would be paid two hundred thousand dollars for his work on the show but uh he grew increasingly frustrated he said more importantly when can i expect to get paid what are the deal points uh they said defendants cut plaintiff out of the deal with amazon and

greatly profited from his life story as a result of the failed nails project which is probably not true they're those agencies are really like on the up and up with their clients they're super like there's all the paperwork you can look at anything at any time everything's there they're very open check they take their cut and then they send you yours with a statement and a thing and it's all very your account they don't want any rumors of anything being bad because you're dealing with people who bring in millions of dollars here. October 10th, 2018, the grand jury

indicts him on drug charges from the Uber thing here and a bunch of other shit. He's, everything's a third degree crime here, punishable by up to

five years in prison. He says he was in fear of his life. What are you going to do here? December 2018, he's studying the Torah. Oh boy. What is he doing? He's studying the Torahrah oh boy what is he doing he's studying the

torah he says quote i'm on a spiritual journey i'm trying to find if god exists i want to deal with people who are smarter than me so he goes to this place everybody that's pretty much everybody he goes to this place to tag along and read the torah there he said uh yeah he said they show one he brings people with him and he said uh one of the six study attendees finished a soliloquy on Joseph's isolation. Dykstra looked up from his paper and said, you lost me, lady. So, yeah. It's because you're not Jewish. That's Torah, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's Torah. And then he suggested that Joseph probably jerked off a lot in jail. Oh, my God. And everyone's like, okay. Did he really?

Yeah, he did. Absolutely. I bet he was taking care of himself. And they said quote we enjoy his company he's a great guy a lot of fun we we can handle his unsavory language it's okay see that's why jews are cool as fuck they're like come on in who cares they're great fucking people so anyway that's that's awesome uh yeah forgiving and kind in their yeah like it's fine it's fine he said most people kind in their house of worship. Yeah, look, it's fine. It's fine.

He said, most people are very, one of the people said, most people are on their best behavior around the rabbi. Lenny comes at it from a very raw angle. Yeah. He said, they don't care. Make child molestation jokes in a fucking Catholic church and see how fast you aren't removed. No shit.

No shit. Then after that, he leaves from reading the Torah and he calls the uber case a joke he said they misled the grand jury it'll be resolved quickly he said i want to be the guy who's going to sue uber for a hundred million dollars or make them a hundred million dollars i don't know what that is here he said he's where he said his business plans are either getting a hundred million dollars from them or wow a or a betting service where retired players are the handicappers and a secret idea for the ride share industry that would give more power to drivers he's got to fucking mix it all together he's got business ideas he's all ready to go here uh so uh yeah january 25th 2019 lenny is suing

rebound finance was just the company that he was pushing right for a while he's saying that they're uh they're using his uh they're using his name and everything his name portrait picture and life story uh they're using him without his his permission now uh and uh you know all this type of shit that he was promised 25 of gross revenues in exchange for his celebrity status they said dykstra however never received a single payment of the percentage of the gross revenues under the contract. So there's that. February 2009, his neighbors are pissed off about a shitty house in Linden, New Jersey. He has as many as 10 people living in a two-story home in a decent neighborhood. They said it's plagued with oversized piles of trash, transient tenants, and physical confrontations,

as well as alleged prostitution and drug use. God damn it. Sounds like it, though. Yeah. That's his life. That's his life. One of the neighbors said there's been 10 people living there at a time. He even made the garage into a room.

So he doesn't care. Neighbors saw someone toss yellowish liquid at a second floor window. That's called piss. That's called a piss bucket. You can just go ahead and assume it's piss unless it's in a gatorade bottle it's probably piss and it's probably still piss in a gatorade jug i probably and complained of hearing building noises coming from the house as if someone was using a hammer and uh wow uh this is so ridiculous can you imagine yeah this whole whole thing, they say that inspectors visited the home and found a bedroom on the first floor as well as four bedrooms, a laundry room, an office, two bathrooms on the second

floor. Each room, however, had locks that Dykstra was unable to open with a key, inspectors told the outlets. He was telling them, I can't get you in this room. Sorry. This is all locked up. You can't inspect this because there's eight crackheads in there. They said, as the owner actually resides in the house, he should be able to open the doors.

Inspectors wrote. Yeah, because he said it was him. Just him. Just me living here. Just me. Just all me. These doors don't open. Yeah.

All right. Police responded to the home September 13th. Notice noting multiple on-site occupants saying they all rented rooms at the rented a different room in this thing. This prompted a summons for Dykstra, who paid a $500 fine for that, and also was ordered to remove all illegal occupants within a month or face additional penalties. He says that he called police in 2017 to report his paintings had been stolen from the house when he was on a trip to South Dakota.

So it's not his fault. He disputes all this, saying all the trash and everything. He says, quote, he turned it into the best house on the block. He said, I took an ugly bitch and made her into a beautiful rock star. What the fuck is with him? Why is he why is he got to compare the house to a woman? Maybe the other houses are jealous that i have the best house now that's why the other houses are jealous not the other people wow he says this is fucking

amazing man uh a neighbor said it all started when he moved in there's been two overdoses there's been a scuffle on the front lawn there's been people who are here today gone tomorrow we don't know who these people are and we're afraid afraid. Yeah. Because they're crazy. Dykstra said he heard about the overdose, but he wasn't there. He said, quote, it was a construction worker, I guess, OD'd.

Okay. I need him on meth so they can fucking finish this house. It's still an ugly bitch. Shit, I give him. It's an ugly bitch. I need a rock star. He said the giant pile of trash, he said that's only because

the picture they took was from trash day. He said once a month, you can do bulk trash, and that was that day, so that's only because they picked the picture they took was from trash day he said once a month you can do like bulk trash and that was that day so that's obviously like that he said i'm ocd so you think i'd have trash out like that that's garbage day throwing out all the stuff from the work i did to make this house livable right god damn it make it a tax generating part of this community rock star he says he kicked out all the tenants after being told they were illegally boarding there and has just one friend staying there for free. He said, they asked me to do something, so I did it.

I have a friend who stayed there. We are in America. It's my house. Okay. All right, then. About a week later, he said, the house is going up for sale in two weeks. Just needs a final paint. We're going to put the makeup on it.

Lyndon's a nice... Again. Again with the woman. Again with the female comparison. Everything is a female. Everything. Linden's a nice place, don't get me wrong. Didn't he say Linden fucking New Jersey, the worst place ever?

I would never live here. But my goal in life was not to wake up in Linden, New Jersey every day, which, honest, that's fine. He bought the home for $353,000 in 2017. So yeah, Dykstra here, he says the police once responded to the home. This is the one he says, and again in this one he says, an ugly bitch there. He says, but he transformed the bitch into a rock star. He said the police only came one time, and that was after receiving a report of a woman screaming.

But when they got over there, he said it was just his overly vocal girlfriend and him having sex. Wow. He said, quote, she's a screamer. Yeah. She's a rock star.

A rock star. Yeah. If you heard Charlie Sheens tell you that his house was an ugly bitch and he turned it into a rock star. It's an ugly bitch. The other houses are fucking jealous they're fucking jealous fit right in he's the most charlie shane out of

anybody that's not charlie shane jesus this is fucking amazing uh jesus christ man so yeah he ends up having to go for court there he says he's wasting no time he's moving to california he says i've improved the property values in this neighborhood. I'm not here to cause problems. I don't want any trouble. Someone's going to get a great house. This is a family house at the end of a cul-de-sac. You'll hear no noise, and it's a great place to live, unless me and all my crackheads are there.

Ron Darling's book comes out, and that's the one that said he shouted racial shit at Oil Cam Boyd. Daryl Strawberry says no. shouted racial shit at oil cam boyd uh daryl strawberry says no daryl strawberry didn't hear it who by the way daryl stride think lenny called his dick a quote mule cock i believe is what he called it i can't remember he said he was physically afraid of daryl strawberry's genitalia it was so large i don't know why i had to add that but i i read it so fuck you guys he generally he genuinely said that so daryl strawberry said about Ron Darling, about Lenny Dykstra, quote, you don't do that. You don't make up things about a person that other players didn't hear or other players didn't know about. He said, of course, I would have never jumped on Dykstra

about it if he's ever said something. Of course, I would have jumped on Dykstra if he said something like that. I'd strangle him with this mule. I'd just wrap it around his damn neck. He said, I've never heard Lenny say anything racist. Never,'s not i know this guy i've seen this guy i came through him with the minor leagues i've never i've had him in my home it's not true and that's not fair uh ron darling said yeah it is fuck that uh he said uh i've been advised not to say anything more about the subject because i don't want to bring any more momentum to lenny right is what he says here keith Hernandez says, quote, we were down two games.

It was game three in Boston. We were all ready to go. I do recall Lenny up there in the on-deck circle barking, but I was getting prepared and didn't hear a thing. That was the final word because he was the closest guy nearby. March 15th, 2019. Jesus Christ, it goes on forever. This is the Uber shit here.

He pleads guilty to petty disorderly person's offense here. He's sentenced to pay fines in order to have no contact with the Uber driver and not to take Uber anymore. The judge here says to him, quote, I hope you have learned a lesson from this. He has not. He said, absolutely not he said absolutely not and turned around and called somebody a racial slur he does not know uh wow uh the driver said that it was important that dykstra entered a guilty plea he said quote uh he admitted to what he did in my car basically it's a you know it feels like it vindicates him weight off my shoulder yeah the

drug charges were dropped because they said they did not have reason to search for drugs, only for guns. So that's what they were saying there. That's why he ends up getting off relatively easy here with disorderly fine, disorderly conduct, $125 in fines. So that's it. He said, quote, my lawyer did a great job of presenting the facts. I'm happy this chapter of my life is behind me.

April 2019, suing ron darling yeah for that yeah he says uh the apparent from the book's title and content is darling's blatant attempt to sell his latest publication through a strategy of sensationalizing and shocking his audience and uh yeah darling seeks to prop himself up while destroying mr dykstra destroying him he's in housing court in New Jersey in May for illegally renting out rooms. He has to pay three grand in fines there. He's found guilty or whatever, pays his fines,

and as he's leaving court, they ask him about it, and he goes, I don't know, I've got bigger fish to fry. I don't care about this. June of 2019, he is at a Jersey jersey mike sub shop near linden new jersey after his meal he apparently accidentally threw away his eighty thousand dollar dentures yeah how do you hold he says quote the bread is so hard on those subs i took my teeth out and put them in a napkin folded it up and forgot them there them there. So he gummed it? He gummed it. It's so hard.

He gummed a hot meat sub? I don't know if it's hot. It's Jersey Mike's. Yeah, most of those are the hot subs. You don't need to get them toasted. No, no. I mean like the hot meat. Like it's a fucking steak cheese.

You know what I mean? It could just be a turkey or a roast beef. I suppose they make those too. Yeah, I never get hot subs. It's gross. Oh my God. Unless it's like a chicken parm, which I'm not getting from a fucking deli. Oh, the Philly. Chicken Philly. It's fucking great. That place is garbage. It's gross. Oh, my God. Unless it's like a chicken parm, which I'm not getting from a fucking deli. Oh, the chicken Philly.

It's fucking great. The place is garbage. I love it. You want oil and vinegar? Sure. And then they coat it so it's covered in it. Thanks. Never mind.

Now it's garbage. That's why you get the hot one. No. No oil and vinegar. They don't know what they're doing in a hot sub. Meat and cheese. The bread is so hard. So he said he pulled them in, folded them up, and forgot them there.

He said it was only later I remembered. He said when I went went back the worker said they threw all the napkins in the garbage i told them there was no fucking way i was leaving without my fucking teeth so dykstra and a friend of his who is a independent wrestler named sprinkles the clown this cannot be happening this cannot what could be more ridiculous than lenny Dykstra rifling through a dumpster behind a Jersey Mike's starting at some time after 11 p.m. and going through the night for nine hours? Nine hours digging through the trash with Sprinkles the Clown. Sprinkles the Clown. At one point, Sprinkles fucking tweeted out, you want to come help me and Lenny Dykstra look for his dentures tonight? Or does anyone?

This is a serious question. I'm not fucking kidding you guys. I know that you don't believe it. This tweet is true. So Lenny Dykstra says, quote, I was there for nine hours. I thought the cops were going to arrest me for trespassing, but I wasn't leaving there with my teeth in that dumpster.

Wow. Did he find them? He ended up finding them. Wow. He ended up getting them back. And then now he is dealing with June 20th, 2019. This is like a fucking week ago. He's working on some diner.

He's part of a team hoping to get a grant to take the chalamar diner in rego park uh to long island and uh it's a sick the lot was sold for six point million five million dollars it's a 45 year old place he's on the team i don't understand why anybody would want him on there but he's fucking on there uh so yeah he's doing that and uh they said it's not clear when the diner will be moved and uh that's what he's working on. They're trying to move diners to Long Island. Can't get enough. No.

Lenny Dykstra. Well, wait three days and he'll do something fucking crazy. Because that was June 20th. It's been like a week. Keep an eye on TMZ. There's plenty of shit going on here. Or follow on Twitter for in-between times when he's just having personal meltdowns. And searching for teeth.

Trying to fuck Lena Dunham or searching for his teeth with a fucking clown named Sprinkles. Oh, boy. That's Lenny Dykstra, everybody. Again. Again. So nice we had to do it twice. Hope you liked that episode. If you do, please get on Apple Podcasts.

Give us five stars. Doesn't matter what you say. Tell us you're following instructions or directions or whatever. It really helps drive us up the charts. Head over to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com for all of your t-shirts and all of your merchandising needs and also listen to small town murder while you're doing that and uh get your tickets october 19th cb live in phoenix uh we don't know when the tickets are on sale but i guarantee you if you harass the venue they'll put them on sale quickly right that's what they do so uh everybody break

their balls and they'll they'll call us and go what the fuck yeah what is happening what's going on i don't know man better sell tickets our tickets on sale better sell tickets that's what's up bitch pretend we're lenny dykstra listen your website is a fucking ugly bitch right now it looks a little faggy that's what i'm saying it's up and make it a rock star. That's it. Do it. Slap some lipstick on that pig. Put some makeup on it. So, yeah, do all of that. Head over there. Once you're done there, head over to patreon.com slash crimeinsports, where you can become

one of our producers who we're going to talk about in just a moment, or you can head over to PayPal and use our email address, which is CrimeInSports at gmail.com. You can make a one-time donation there. Both those links are through the Shut Up and Give Me Murder site. Another thing you can find through Shut Up and Give Me Murder, social media. We are at CrimeInSports on Twitter, at CrimeInSports on Facebook, at Small Town Murder on Instagram. And without further ado, let's hear the list of the most fantastic people in the world. Hit me with them like a goddamn, I don't know, gun to the head in the front of an Uber.

Do it to me, Jimmy. This week's executive producers are Jordan Bennett, Justin Miller, Erica Larson, John Sabrisi, Shannon Feltus, and her podcast, You Are That, Jesper Wernerson, Amelia Penko, and Dylan Mundy and Muriel mundy had a uh their first anniversary thank you jesus thank you very much heroes for really coming through for you're all incredible thank you guys so much we also have uh uh as may as may alford uh karen karen hinton jason elsis uh thomas smith jeff rap jennifer strong bruce harms brendan ables john no jen Jason Elsis, Thomas Smith, Jeff Rapp, Jennifer Strong, Bruce Harms, Brendan Ables, Jen Rogers, is that Jen or John?

Son of, I think it's John. It might be Jen. Oh, shit. No, that's John. That's John Rogers. Hey, John Jen. Thank you. Thank you, John Jen.

It might be Joni Rogers. Joni. Joni! Fuck, I write terribly. Joni! Kelly Higby, Stephanie Alexander,lexander liz vasquez ink stained studios jesse hartman mike mcginnis um james martyr tyler tyler forsyth uh christine womack uh samantha quigley uh what did i do is that cory core oh no carly carly howard i think

fucking handwriting type this shit Why did I do that? Good God. Gary Howard. Gary Howard. Yeah, we know Gary Howard, too. Thanks, Gary. Sorry, Carly. He's driving around in a truck going,

Gary, you fucking idiot. It's Gary. I'm in a truck. You know me. I've met you eight times. Siobhan Howard? No, Siobhan Brogan. Tim.

Please, next time you come to a live show, Gary, make fun of Jimmy for that after the show. Don't kill me, please. Don't kill him, but make fun of him during the meet and greet. Tim Maney. Kylie Clancy. Trace Childs. Courtney Fliggler. Tyler Gwill.

Alex Ball. David Cohen. Julie Crum. Louise May. Pardon? Go back to Alex Ball for David Cohen, Julie Crum, Louise May... Pardon? Go back to Alex Ball for a minute. That's a good name. Alex Ball, David Cohen, Julie Crum,

Louise Rayfield, Eric... If I get you on a roll, it'll just come out. Eric Michael Showers, I hope you do. Jude Kendall, Sam May, Stephen Rood, Amy Northrup Michael Bustamante, Lynn Gross Adam O'Daney Jenna Lynn Wolf, yes Sean N, Krista

Walker, thank you so much Krista, I hope you're doing better Abdul John or Jan and then there is also Adam Rothman Rachel Fincher, Alicia Massey Rokio Valdez Taylor Hahn, Scott Bars, James Aselta, Ying, no, Yi Jing Tan, Michelle D. Mills, Dan McCabe, shit, Noki Wheeler, Genevieve, no, Geneva, Geneva Thornhill, Kayla Marquardt, Alex Hopper, Jason Stone, Tina russell ricky bryant fiona mckinnon no mckeon hey uh wendy wendy skedzel uh adrian thomas thanks again appreciate you uh alissa camacho hank hollander katherine at croon and wetter uh jeremy binder and jonathan jerisovich you guys

fuck thank you so much, especially Carly Howard. Thank you, everybody, so, so much. And apologies for the length of this episode. We gotta use to help it. This is why. It's fucking so much. You have to. This could have been four episodes.

Sports was early. Sports was quick. We could have done this. It could have been twice as long. This could have been five hours. We could have spent so much time on these, but we tried to get through it. If you'd have told me that rock star bitch line earlier, fuck, man, I could have been twice as long. This could have been five hours for sure. We could have spent so much time on these, but we tried to get through it. If you'd have told me that rock star bitch line earlier, fuck, man, I would have interrupted

you all night. All fucking night long. So, Jimmy, where do people want to call you a bitch? Where can they do it? You can find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks, on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. And I really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you guys for everything you sent me. I appreciate it. What about you?

Where can they find you? You can find me at JimmyPIsFunny. You can do that or copy and paste my last name from the bottom of my heart. Thank you guys for everything you sent me. I appreciate it. What about you? Where can they find you? You can find me at JimmyPIsFunny. You can do that or copy and paste my last name from the show description. Don't be a hero and try to spell it. And thank you everybody for cards and shit for my birthday. I really, really appreciated that. That was really awesome of you guys. I got a ton of cards in the mail

and it was just really, really cool. Thank you guys. You know how to make somebody feel like people give a shit about them. So thank you guys immensely for everything you do for us and for everything else and for the whole world damn it you're doing god's work that said we can't wait to see you next week live from the crime and sports studios we will see you next week Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're

losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. She wanted to fight me? Leave her. A-long. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period.

Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award winning series returns.

How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season. It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. Freebie.