Crime in Sports - #173 - Machette, Paint Thinner & Gasoline - The Unsparingness of Ugueth Urbina

Episode Date: August 20, 2019

This week, we look at man who came from nothing, and achieved his dream of being a major leaguer. Not only that, he was an all star, and World Series Champion... But that all unraveled, and it ended up with some nasty charges involving a machete, some gasoline, a little paint thinner & a lighter. These charges would land him in Venezuelan prison with his good name ruined. He also indiscriminately fires hand guns from car windows & is not above a bar brawl. Did we mention that his mother was kidnapped & sold to a Columbian revolutionary gang & held for millions in ransom? Or that the rescue attempt was straight from an 80's action movie, complete with M-16s & exploding fuel tanks?? It's insane!! Pitch your way to the States, hope your mother is rescued from kidnappers, and show zero mercy to anyone who works for you with Ugueth Urbina!!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. The Queen of the Courtroom is back. How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports. Yay! Yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed.

My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I am Jimmy Wissman. Thank you, folks, so much for joining us again on another wild, crazy, just action-packed, death-defying edition of Crime and Sports. And this is an insane one. It's a crime that no one's ever done on our show before. Really? I like that. Every once in a while, we have a new crime where we're like, well, no one ever thought of that before. The first five were like that. Well, always, yeah.

But 172 episodes in, this is episode 173, you think you've encountered any crazy shit that anybody could muster, but nope, we found a new attempt at insanity today that we'll talk about. Just a crazy show ahead of us. But before we get into that, just got to thank everyone, first of all, for all of your reviews this week.

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there so uh well us anyway not really you well you because then we're more excited for the show so it's good the more people are listening the the more excited we are. That's more live shows. They can get that's what I'm talking about. We can come to you with that. Speaking of that, what you need to do is head to shut up and give me murder.com. Yes. For everything crime and sports and small town murder.

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also absolutely so yeah do that come out to a show see us it's a lot of fun crime and sports and phoenix is sold out but we do have some a couple in the works for 2020 don't worry we have you guys in mind do that if you want to be a hero of ours one of our just our a legend in our minds and uh people we talk about and gush at the end of the show one of our producers that is very very easy to do you can do that by going to patreon.com obviously patreon.com yes hiccup there patreon.com slash crime in sports or you can head over to paypal and use our email address which is crime in sports at gmail.com and you can get to any of those right from the website which is shut up and give me murder.com right jimmy you got it you. That said, I think it's time to get started here.

Okay. I think it's time because we have a wild story and it's thick and we're going to try not to make it too long. Trying to make them as concise as possible here. Let's start off here. Let's do it. It's a baseball player. Great.

Great. It's going to be fun right away. It's a baseball player. It's a baseball player. Normally, baseball players, they're not the most violent of our... It's not a brain damage sport. Right. Generally.

Keep it mellow. They keep it a little mellow. Some DUIs, a lot of cocaine going on, stuff like that. But this guy, completely different shit here. This is a whole other type of deal here. Let's talk about Ugether Bina. Oh. You know who he is?

He was in the news, but I don't know what for. He pitched for like 15 years up until like 2005. I remember when he played for the Expos. He until like 2005 i remember when he played for the expos he did he actually played for the expos you know how excited i was knowing that he spent the first five years of his career with the expos i was like jimmy's gonna say the expos and it's gonna be right for once and i was completely bullshit oh yes i don't remember him being there i can't believe you he he was a really he's an all-star he's a really good player right uh so yeah uh it's uget actually but there's a there's an h on the end so you want to say

ugeth really bad uget uh urtane urbina okay triple u yeah uh yes that's an interesting that is u u u u u u via real after that too because that's his mother's name and that's south america he's from venezuela god and that's how they do it down there, apparently. He's from Caracas, Venezuela, as a matter of fact. Born February 15th, 1974. This is crazy. He's Ugeth Ertane

Urbina. Ugeth. Ugeth, sorry. Ugeth, you're correcting me now. All you knew five seconds ago as he played for the Expos. And I didn't even know that. His brothers are named Ulmer Utah. What? Or Utah, probably, but spelled like the state Utah. And Ulysses Ulses.

What does she love about the letter U? Ulmer Utah Urbina, Ulysses Ulses Urbina, and Uget Ertane Urbina. Was Uget the last one? Was he the baby? No, I think he's a middle, actually. Really? Yeah. She got two names out and then got to Uget?

Uget. I don't know what family names. I have no idea. Well, we're not Venezuelan. That's a good point. I don't know how Ulmer is a name either. That's a good point. And he named your kid Utah?

Okay. Is she aware of Salt Lake City? I don't think she's ever been or knows about salt lake city at all when this happened in the 70s i don't think she realizes that when she landed on the letter u that there are very few names it's you gotta start making up words like fucking book of mormon and it was like she's like utah that's just her dream to sorry you have to see book of mormon i love the word utah utah so uh he's a right-handed pitcher, obviously. He starts playing very young in Venezuela.

I mean, this before, now there's like sort of a draft system, and it's a different type of deal. But this is Wild West. Scouts go through the third world looking for children who are good at sports, and they give them money from an early age, and they, you know, way before, because you're allowed to sign at 16

in baseball, which is hilarious because like, football, you have to have three years of college to fucking qualify for the NFL.

It's even more hilarious that at 16 you legally can't sign shit. That's the other thing. You know what I mean? But you can, they can get you at 16. Well, hockey,

it's like you could, out of the womb, if you're, yeah, he looks like he's got good uh strong calves on him we're gonna put a stick in his hand soccer is very familiar soccer as we know eight years old they're on eight years old they sign him to the junior teams overseas and shit like that tennis we had the capriati thing i mean that was insanity this is a world famous kid at 14 which is not okay you know for sports it's a lot of pressure. Football and basketball.

You better get some college. That's right, damn it. You better go. That's one year for basketball. What's different about those sports? What is different? What's the one thing that's different about those sports than tennis and golf and hockey? And even especially baseball back then.

What's different? What is it? What is it? is it what could it be one thing about it that's just way different as far as the black guys oh no i don't think so no it can't be jimmy it can't be that's very that's a glib answer very good those white men be very threatened by paying a black man a bunch of money real early i think it's what and people are going to be pissed off because there's people that won't think this but you know what that's what it is. Well it's it's funny because if you if you watch the guy who the NCAA the guy who started the NCAA.

I almost didn't want to say that by the way because I didn't want to be having Andrew Jackson thing. Well no that was you're going the opposite way. Yeah you went the opposite way with it and people be like oh for Christ's sake that but no it's actually true. And even the the the guy who was the head of the NCAA in the 50s when they started the whole amateur athlete poor shit, he came out in the 80s and said, this is fucking crazy now. In the 50s, it wasn't a business like this. This is bonkers.

You're fucking, all this is, is people that support these colleges. They're in a lot of regions where people don't want to see young fucking black kids make more money than them to play for college. That's all it is. He's like, that's what it is. And if you think it's anything else, you're out of your fucking mind. I started this and I watched this develop over the years and now it's batshit. It's ridiculous.

And that's the guy who started it. The guy who started it is like, you guys, it's far too obvious now. Why are we doing this? It's a true thing. And we're going to piss people off, I understand, by saying that because we don't get into politics. And that's not politics. That's just facts. That's the facts of what happened.

They were like, we're not paying these fucking kids. And it's a power balance. It's a different thing. They paid a black kid with big diamond earrings. They heard something. And especially we're talking about then and now it's just lingered on through. But in the South America and in Cuba and Dominican in these countries not Cuba

because we weren't allowed to go there really in Scout unless you're Costanza for the Yankees and you've declared your communism otherwise Seinfeld reference is coming out like crazy otherwise with this it was Scouts just go in and find children who throw things hard

and then give them money and hope to get them. Whip this coconut, kid. Hope to buy them at some point and bring them to the States. Unbelievable. And for the kids, the kids that make it, it's terrific because otherwise they would have never gotten found.

And their families get taken care of. A lot of these kids, it's kind of rough because there's a lot of predatory people also. Fuck yeah. With a lot of these agents, with a lot of these not agency scouts coming down, then you get local agents who are shit heel agents who then say, like, if you do this, then you owe me. I'll hook you up with a major league scout,

but then you're going to owe me 50% of your salary and shit. So there was a lot of shady dealings down there with, you know, basically they're like baseball warlords yeah these agents down there in some of these places uh but he plays starts as a kid in venezuela playing and he is signed july 2nd 1990 so at 16 years old he signed as an amateur as an amateur free agent no drafting necessary back then with the montrealos. And the Expos had one of the premier scouting departments there ever was in the third world. They had some great rookies.

Think about the 90s and the people that they brought in starting in the late 80s. Randy Johnson. I know he's not a third world player, but scouting-wise. Randy Johnson, Larry Walker, Pedro Martinez, the Urbinas of DeShields and Grissom and all these good people. Yeah, it was Grissom. A stack of guys.

They had great young... They supplied... Vlad Guerrero, they found. I mean, not... Vlad Guerrero, you could see from space, hitting fucking balls and bouncing the dirt 400 feet. He's insane. But, I mean, they signed a lot of these guys. They really had the third world and the islands on lockdown.

Smart. When it came to shit. Yeah, I mean, Nobody else is looking there. And then they wouldn't sign these people because the Expos were a poor team and then they went all over the league. All these teams, you can say, all these guys started with the Expos.

They crushed other places. And even guys like Cliff Floyd and guys like that, I mean, they started with the Expos. So he goes in 1991. Is that why I always think they played for the Expos?

Most of them. I can see so many people in an Expos jersey? If they're an all-star, they might have started with the Expos. That's the thing. So he goes to the minor leagues, to the Gulf Coast League in Florida there in 1991. So he's 17 years old. Unbelievable. And he's leaving home.

Living a dream. Yeah, to go play baseball in Florida, which at least they didn't send him to Wisconsin or something. They were like, wow, this is way different. Playing for the Twins. Stuck in fucking Minneapolis. Yeah, people speak Spanish down there. It's a different story, at least. It's better there.

Now, on his rookie team here in 91 with the minor leagues, on that team was Cliff Floyd, Kirk Reeder, who was a star for the Giants after that, another guy that started with the Expos, Antonio Alfonseca, the six-fingered guy who was a good reliever for a long time. They were all on this team. So they had a pretty solid team here. 91, he's a starter the first couple of years. They start him, which happens a lot. A lot of most relievers come in as starters,

even to the majors. Mariano Rivera's rookie year was mostly a starter. Really? Yeah. His first year up, they started him most of the time. They moved him to middle relief. It's almost less work being a starter than it is to be a reliever.

Starter, put it this way, starter you know when you're pitching. Yeah. So you have a routine. Mentally, it's easier. You can get a routine. You it this way. Starter, you know when you're pitching. Yeah. So you have a routine. Mentally, it's easier. You can get a routine. You know this day I throw, this day I rest, this day I do this, and then I'm up. And then you have a thing.

Whereas relievers, you can go six days without playing, and then you can be out there three, four days in a row. Like my friend Rod. You throw three, four innings each game. Rod had a record for consecutive appearances. Really? It was like 11 straight games fuck man that's that was shocking that is two years later he had complete reconstructive surgery there but it was 11 straight games where he was i think it was 11 where he came might have

been 13 i'm not sure but that's insane though to pitch 11 straight games and why there was double headers in there there was a double header in the middle of that too so he pitched twice in the same day yeah so that's get warmed up pitch cool off get then do it again three hours later which is not good for your arm not at all so uh yeah anyway that's uh how that works but uh yeah a lot of a lot of them started like that so then he go that's rookie league next year he goes up to albany and he's 7 and 13 wins and losses there 322 era so you know he's he's promising uh right away 93 uh right in the beginning of that season when he's in harrisburg which is where everybody wants to be oh yeah harrisburg on may 31st 1993 he has a son oh a son is born uh one oh good boy so no use well done

no use here i mean there's kind of a you there yeah but not it's not the first of the fucking yeah it's yeah not you damn it it's he broke the chain and i salute you for that at this point who get is fucking doing fine he's on he's on board he's he's really doing great uh goes up to burlington uh also i believe that's vermont but i'm not sure that's in the midwest league so burlington could be could. There's a million Burlingtons. It could be Wisconsin. It could be the coat factory. It could be just outside in the park.

It's just a ball, so it really could be the coat factory. It could just be outside in the concrete. It's in the back alley, just whipping balls against the wall. Watch out. Now, the ball bounces. It really skips through the infield pretty quick with these asphalt playing fields we're doing now. And watch, there's a Toyota Celica, about a 97, out in right center. So if you hit a guy, just watch out.

If you're tracking a ball, make sure you don't run into it, because that'll hurt. Just whacking him off the loading dock. That's all there is. So then, 1994, he's brought up to, well, Harrisburg, he's brought up at the end of 1993, and he goes four and five with a 399 ERA. And then 94, he goes nine and three there in Harrisburg. It's AA, 328 ERA. So he's showing a lot of-

He's doing well. He's doing well, and AA is where the talent is. AAA is kind of a train station for- Yeah, in and out. Going up, going down, or guys who are never going anywhere. One of the three. It's like the 11th floor of a 20-floor building. Yeah, yeah.

Guys that are not going anywhere but are too old to stick an A ball because it would be weird to have them hanging out with 18-year-olds. So they just put them up there, and they're kind of part. You know, the foray is what they call them. Not good enough for the majors, but, you know, fine in AAA. is what they call them not good enough for the majors but you know fine in triple a so uh may 8th 1994 here uh uh he uh he uh has a little issue here um he says he is uh we found i found this in sports illustrated too there's a pretty pretty cool little article here and sports illustrated in their vault thing uh may 8th 1994 this happened his manager here a guy named dave jouse came to

his motel room and he said he's been pitching shittily lately and thought he was getting sent back down to a because that's what happens you get a knock on your door and the manager wants to see you type of thing uh but instead there's a different thing they tell him that uh actually your father whose name is juan that's what he named his son after, has been shot and killed and bound in Venezuela. Yeah. So that's a rough thing. And you got to understand, too. I mean, he's fucking 20 years old still.

That's crazy. He's still a kid. Yeah. I guess there was a it was like a home invasion. Somebody came to his house and tried to. They knew he was playing ball. Tried to rob his dad. I don't even know if that's the case because he wasn't really making much money yet as we'll find out well how do they

don't know that they don't know that it's just dude we'll talk more about venezuela and the and especially the 90s and jesus dude it's fucking players that make money they go i want to go down there and i want to spend my off season i go down for two weeks to see my family i don't leave my house right they have to hire security guards to stay at their house and they can't leave because it's too fucking dangerous. People know. People know who they are. They know they have...

The money they're making is more than you could even imagine. It's like they're billionaires to these people down there and they're just going to wander through unfettered. And he said most of the guys that go down there, they have to hire big security staffs. Even if you don't have money on you, it's dangerous. They'll kidnap you. That's the problem. That's what we'll talk about a lot in this because that's the thing is your family's still down there they have to hire big security staffs and even if you don't have money on you it's dangerous they'll kidnap you that's the problem that's what we'll talk about a lot in this because

that's the thing is your family's still down there and a lot of times you can't bring your whole family there for immigration reasons and things like that so they're down there and now they're not safe because and you can't protect them because you're here and then you can hire security forces and then you know you're paying half your salary to protect your family in some country it's crazy. That's nuts. You could use that money to buy a house and then some stuff. Yeah, you could make their lives better. And you do that, but then you also have to protect it because someone else is going to take it.

But if they could get them here, they could buy them a house and everything would be fine. Oh, yeah, move them to Utah and they'd be perfectly fine. Salt Lake City, man, and they're fucking fine. Move them there and they're not gonna no one's home dating them there it's fine they'll just sit around go i that family speaks spanish i think they do i bet we can convert them i'll not you okay we'll all go together have you heard the good news have you heard okay unbelievable that's fucking amazing so uh yeah he he was uh very affected very badly by this and uh this makes him angry for the next few years they all say he's uh you know he'll admit it

later on that after his dad died he was angry he's angry with the entire with the world basically he's pissed off and there seemed to be no sense in it. And he was pissed off. He says, quote, I was 20 years old when my father was killed and I had to grow up too quickly. When I went home for the funeral, I told my mother I would never come back to play baseball. She would always tell me that my father's dream was for me to be in the big leagues. Every time I reach a goal, I wish he could have seen it. Sometimes it looks like I'm angry on the mound, but that's the the way i pitch best i never want to lose that attitude when i pitch and uh yeah

that this made him a little bit bitter that's a lot of people say he looks angry when he's pitching but you can't take how people look pitching first of all a lot of guys uh they might not have perfect vision they might have wear contacts or glasses so when they're looking at the mound at the catcher like that they don't want to work a lot of guys don't like to wear shit on the mound sure their contacts so a lot of times they're that mean look is they literally are looking just looking for the signal they can't see very well and a lot of times it's just the way they're looking but it's like yeah they're trying to keep you know steal themselves but it could be nice guys yeah you don't know also you kind of got to intimidate a batter that's the other thing that's the fucking strategy of the

game back to fucking my friend rod there he he looked like the meanest son of a bitch in the world nicest guy going but he had to look like he'd kill you otherwise what's he gonna do hey man how you did like that's not gonna fucking intimidate like he'd eat the beer can after he drank it yes that's what i mean that's the fucking animal that's the point he looked like like a like a deranged fucking hell's angel that they somehow gave a a uniform to and said go out there and scare the shit out of the other team yeah put the beer can down put it down before you go out there man you can't take it out there on the mound with you that's what he looked like but in in truth nice guy who loved baseball so fucking interesting so october 28th 1994 uh he gets uh some good news yeah anyway uh a son is born he

has another son oh no who get junior no he did he really absolutely fucking did it number two number one after his father yeah he named his dad number two owed to fucking because i'm myself yeah what because now i'm my own man who get junior. So this is where it starts. I'm the man of the house now. Yeah. Dad's dead. We we should always put grace right before he names a kid junior, even if everything's going fine.

That's the beginning of the end. That's when we know you're fucking up right there. You're on this show. So we know it's over. We know something bad's going to happen right away. If you see if you're an athlete and you see your name listed uh you just look up crime and sports and then your name yeah and if it comes up it's not good no we'll tell you that right now what's going on with you there's like three episodes where we're like you

know kind of like that guy and i wish it would work yeah kind of mandy malone run the floor like we can count them on one hand out of 173 of guys the the royals uh willie mays akins yeah great turned it around guys like that we got three that were rooting three i think there was one or two more maybe so now it should be nice if you got a break but that that was bad what happened to him but yeah three people were really like you know what so otherwise it's bad yeah and even those people we made fun of them a ton before we declared their. We ripped them hard. Yeah. Yeah. So deservedly so.

And I'm sure they would agree. That's the thing. Anybody with any self reflection says, you know, like we've talked to Mandy Malone a lot. She's awesome. She's a great. She's a really cool person. She really is. She's fucking strong and gutsy and she's a ballsy fucking woman.

And you don't want to fuck with her. No, no. She will. She will take you down, take you to Congress, and then she'll kick you in the face and dick after that she's a tough fucking yeah she's awesome she proves it she's strong and awesome and uh yeah we we you know made plenty of fun of her and she was like you know what hey yeah just nailed it i don't know what to say yeah i'm trying to do better now and we're like i can give you more details yeah what do you what do you want us to roast you harder i think think we did enough, Andy.

Yeah. We're like, you're awesome. Go kick ass. Kick ass. Oh, man. So anyway, 1995, he starts out the year. He ends up going up to AAA, to Ottawa, here for the first month of the season. And then May 9th, 1995, he's called up to the major leagues.

Big leagues. So dream come true. This is it. The Expos. Yeah. Which is every, it's called up to the major leagues. Big leagues. So, dream come true. This is it. The Expos. Yeah. Which is every, it's so weird how many people you hear about who either played for the Expos in their first game or played against the Expos in their first. I don't know what it is about the Expos.

It's just, that's got to be why I see it. Am I a dumb savant that I just saw it? No? Half right. I didn't know? One half of that is right. One half of that. We don't know which half, and it might be 25%.

Half of one and half of the other, 25%. We don't know. Versus Philly, this is the first one. 75-25. I did the shit math there. Sorry. It's 55. So we'll just go back to my original statement.

So he pitches two innings. It's in relief. Three hits, two strikeouts, no walks, two earned runs. So not bad. Doing this, he becomes the only player in the league to ever do something. Really? He's the only player in Major League history, over 100-plus years of history, to have the initials UU.

UU or UUU, obviously. I was going to guess that. I can't believe that's real. So he's the only player in Major League history. Really? UU or UUU. Fascinating. Which someone might have UU, but no one's going to have UUU again.

He's going to hold that one for a while. That's done for good. Yeah. So he's brought up to the Expos. And let's find out who was on the Expos at this time. I would love to. Because you'd be very curious. Marquis Grissom was there.

Well, we had Darren Fletcher catching David Segui. Mike Lansing, the ex-A, remember him? Will Cordero, who got arrested, I believe. I don't want to say it, because in case it's not him. Okay. Because it was a bad thing. Moises Alou. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Another guy. Everybody knows him. But, I mean mean you didn't have to have be a great scout to find an aloo it's like a eighth generation fucking player me 19 of my uncles my father all my grandparents my grandmother actually played in the majors she got her hair real short and i don't know how she did it but nobody knew she hit 312 for eight seasons with the washington senators so i mean it worked out just fine. Rondell White. Remember Rondell White?

Yeah, Rondell White. I loved Rondell White. Did he play for the A's, too? Maybe. He was one of those guys. No, no. Rondell was a stocky cat. Really?

Pretty fast outfielder. Played for the Yankees. Okay, I don't know him. Very dark. He's a black dude. Excessively dark. I mean, I could have guessed. Well, I mean, Rondell.

If I was a horrible person. Yeah, well, Rondell White doesn't sound like a blonde child. Doesn't sound like a white guy. Sounds like a black guy, pretty much. I would have guessed, I pictured a shortstop, though. No, no, he's a center fielder. He's a really good player. I like Rondell White a lot.

So, Mark Gruselanek on this team. Roberto Kelly finishing out his career. Cliff Floyd came up and down that year. So, we're talking a lot of future major pedro martinez on this team again uh jeff vasaro uh gil heredia kirk reeder there's a lot of major league their whole everybody on here remains on our major league roster and these are all kids mainly coming up 95 expos were 66 and 78 so not a great not a great team wasn'tissom wasn't there yet I think he might have been gone by now

actually Grissom was gone him and Delano DeShields yeah because they would have been free agents that had to go they weren't getting paid

was it 90 or 92 the year he came up I want to say it was 90 those rookie cards 90 and 91 DeShields 90 Grissom 91

or the other way around maybe yeah early 90 early 90 yeah some shit like that so yeah the Expos Felipe Alou is the manager here by the way so like we say yeah yeah something early 90 early 90 yeah some shit like that so uh yeah the expo's uh felipe

alu's the manager here by the way so okay like we said like we say yeah you're not you you could just throw a rock out the window and hit a really good alu and he'll catch the rock yeah first actually he'll hit it 398 feet and alu can throw a rock in their own fucking clubhouse and hit another alu literally right there unbelievable they played at olympic stadium which was one of In their own fucking clubhouse and hitting a loo. And hit another loo. Literally. Right there. Unbelievable. They played at Olympic Stadium, which was one of the weirdest stadiums in the world, if anybody remembers. I remember the field.

It was so ugly. It was turf. Yeah. And it had that plexiglass right behind the... So you just watch everybody sitting field level right there through that plexiglass. It was a weird stadium. But the field, that turf looked... It looked like that green carpet that you just laid outdoor. That was that 80s, yeah, indoor, outdoor. It was a shit field. But the field, that turf looked, it looked like that green carpet that you just laid

out door. That was that 80s, yeah, indoor, outdoor. It was a shit field. The outfield was in meters. The distances were in meters. And it was such a, and originally that stadium, if I'm not mistaken, was supposed to open. Like originally that was a retractable roof. It was like one of the first retractable roof.

And then after a while they were just like, let's just keep it closed. We're not going to bother with that. The field won't won't grow anyway yeah but it was supposed to be like that and that's kind of like toronto had uh there but uh the attendance here starts to really plummet for the expos and that's why they end up closing up shop uh who get makes 109 000 bucks this year oh so i mean you know that's great it's for partial part of the year because he ended up going back down and okay you know he wasn't uh exactly for a guy from fucking venezuela no he only pitched 23 innings that year he had a 617 era went two and two they're just taking a look at he earned a lot less than that yeah uh in 23 innings that means he's still

a rookie in 96 technically okay yeah if you don't play a certain amount or certain amount of appearances you're still a rookie so uh 96 is technically his rookie year uh this year he does so well he's named to baseball digest magazine magazines 1996 rookie all-star team so good for him team goes 88 and 74 actually stepping up stepping up but their uh their attendance continues to plummet unfortunately here uh felipe Felipe Alou, the manager, again. This year he has a.371 ERA, goes 10-5, 114 innings pitched. Again, he's a starter still here, not even a reliever yet quite. So makes $112,000 this year. So they prorate it based on how much you were up in the bigs.

So he must have been up $3,000 more or whatever it was in last year. A couple of games more or some shit 1997 for the expos this is when he starts to become a reliever and uh kind of cement who he is now this guy if you don't remember by the way if you don't know him he's a hard-throwing son of a bitch he threw 98 miles an hour blow you off your ass heat when he came in the the game, it was no joke. You'd see guys stiffen up when he came in as a reliever. Because if you had a guy, if you had a starter who topped out at 91 and threw a lot of curveballs and shit like that and change-ups, and then this guy comes in blowing you away.

Just throwing heat. Throwing fucking heat. I mean, it's daunting. And he had a nasty slider, too, that would fuck you up. Yeah, he was a fastball slider kind would fuck you up yeah he was uh yeah fastball slider kind of guy and uh power power power and that was so much fun to watch then because i mean oh yeah that was he was a great pitcher to watch yeah it's a dangerous pitcher to have coming in at the end of the game and he was really good everybody's tired that's the thing

everybody they're just you get used to the rhythm of other pitchers and then you get a guy who comes in like that's like oh holy shit like that's get a guy who comes in like that. It's like, oh, holy shit. That's always a thing. Rivera, as a reliever, he'd come in with that fucking cutter at 96 miles an hour. You're like, where the fuck did that come from? How the fuck am I supposed to hit that? After eight innings of other shit. And that was a strike?

That's coming at different angles. It's zipping off to the side. You're like, holy shit, hacking at it. This year, their attendance goes down again by the way the exposed now they're 13 of 13 of 14 in the national league second to last in attendance so not terrific but uh he goes five and eight with a 370 80 ra not bad 64 innings pitched as he had a little more uh you know a little more few more relief appearances instead uh more uh more 84 strikeouts, 29 walks.

So that's a good sign. You see that? He's got basically three times the strikeouts as walks. That's a really good sign. Three to one there. Makes $175,000 that year. So now he's starting to feel a little better. Hell yeah.

Get yourself some new clothes. Hell yeah. Get yourself a new car maybe. He's feeling good about himself. The designer pampers on the little Oogette. Yeah, little Oogette Jr. car maybe he's feeling good about himself the the designer pampers on the get yeah a little little get junior oh he's four now he's all right he better not be shitting himself still or we got problems or that's gonna be on that kid whole other episode so 1998 with the expos this year they really go in the tank uh 60 or not 65 and 97 this year. Fuck, that's painful. Goddamn terrible. That is not good.

Their attendance plummets below the one million mark. For the season? They have 81 home games. Oh my God. And less than a million people show up to those. Less than 10,000 per game. That is terrible. Wow.

This is the era where you could just hear individual people say shit in the stands literally if you watch the game you could just hear and be like come on who get what the fuck are you doing you just hear that shit and you'd hear like people drop things you'd hear hot dogs it was fucking weird really weird shit terrible yeah it was bad this is when they didn't even have in in montreal or anywhere they didn't have a uh a tv broadcast they didn't have a tv contract the expos weren't on tv that would be the worst tv broadcast ever anyway but i mean the best you or maybe great yeah well you can't get people to come to the game if they don't even see that it's happening right like if you have to see it on tv

and go the expos look fun and then they go to a game but they weren't even on tv at all and then they didn't have an english language radio deal either what the only broadcast they had was a french language radio that was it the only in canada the only way you would know the expos existed is if you spoke french and listen to the fucking radio at night otherwise you have you have no idea that they exist. It is no wonder that they're gone now. It was run horribly. Yeah, that's not great. Well, this is when they were going to go out of business.

And I think this is when I believe this might be right before the MLB took them over. That's what happened, isn't it? Yeah, they started. That's why they went to Washington, D.C. And then they put them in D.C. This year, though, 1998, Ugeth's coming out party. He really, really tears it up. He's 6-3, but that doesn't matter because he's a closer this year.

What matters is the 130 ERA. Oh, that's great. Yeah, 69 innings pitched, 94 strikeouts, 33 walks, so he keeps that all going. But the real kind of huge deal here is 34 saves. He had 27 in 97, but 34 makes him sixth in the NL in saves in 98. But he's the brokest save guy that high on the list. Well, first, 53 saves was Trevor Hoffman, and then Rod Beck with 51 with the Cubs that year. The Cubs went to the playoffs that year.

It was a big deal. This year, who gets an all-star? An all-star. He's sixth in saves. God damn it. Not too shabby. This is when you really, I remember as a baseball fan, you knew who he was at this point. You'd hear his name and he was one of the good new closers.

$565,000 this year. Now you're talking. name and he was one of the good new closers uh 565 000 bucks this year now you're talking so that's something i mean in 98 too i mean that's hell yeah that's some cash homeowner oh he can he can do lots of shit with that and at the end of the year they say you know what you did so well how about a three-year 6.4 million dollar contract now you're talking so holy balls get your ass out in the suburbs. Yeah, now that's some security. Baseball, that's guaranteed money. Beautiful. So he is going to make $6.4 million,

unless he, you know, like, lops his leg off in a motorcycle accident or something. Oh, so good. Unless he Kerry Von Eriks himself. That's a reference you'll understand later in a future show. Probably next wrestling episode. Right. If you don't already know it, if you're not a wrestling fan so three year 6.4 million dollar contract for mr urbina here this is uh i'm excited for him at this point he's got the two young kids he's he's from you know venezuela and

he's you know it's a shame his dad's not here to see it all this sans father he talks about a lot too his dad was super super supportive of the baseball and always would take him and was a vet would coach him and he was a very much a hands-on but not in a forceful way they didn't marinovich him right uh he all all who get ever wanted to do was play baseball and his father was just supportive and would help him as everywhere he can as a high five yeah down there back then especially it wasn't a thing like now it's like where the kids were like i don't feel like playing baseball i want to try like this i want to be that didn't exist no they saw baseball and any skill of baseball is that's how i can get from here

to the somewhere else the better place else cares yeah to the better place and that's i can do that or i can fucking work in a field those are my options well you know what i mean as poor kids that's what they think a lot it's like that or a field which one do you watch a game on tv and and you see that that there's a lot less sweating going on there yeah and there's a lot more smiles in that bullpen oh yeah that feel and there's little guys like ozzy gian who are you know manage the white socks forever but he's a big player in the 90s, too. In the 80s, he started in, what, like 83, 84? Ozzie Guillen, I think 84 was his rookie year. I would have no idea.

I mean, as a kid, he would have been 10 years old and seen, Ozzie Guillen's from here. Look at him playing in the fucking majors. There's a ton of guys who are playing in the majors, and those are the people who have money that you know about. Hey, everybody. Just going to take a quick break from the show to tell you a little bit about a new podcast here from the Parkast Network. And it's one of those things

where you remember certain things. Which daughter's birthday? Oh, geez. September 9th? There you go. You remember I'd ask you anniversaries, but I don't want to put you on the spot here. What are those?

You remember the dates. You know, there's certain dates you remember. The Park you anniversaries, but I don't want to put you on the spot here. What are those? You remember the dates. There's certain dates you remember. The Podcast Network, apparently, their important dates have to do with true crime history. And that's what this podcast is, apparently. It's Today in True Crime. It's a daily podcast. Daily, that's pretty cool. So every day takes you back to the biggest events in true crime that happen every day in history.

So that's awesome. You have June 12th comes up, which is my birthday. That's O.J. Yeah. You know what I mean? So that's what it's going to be. It's going to be anniversaries. August 31st, 1888, Jack the Ripper commits his first murder.

Things like that. October 3rd, 1995, O.J.'s acquitted. All this type of thing. So that's what it's all about. It's that sort of thing. This day, here's what happened, and it will tell you all about it. So every day you're going to get another piece of true crime history because it never stops, true crime. It happens every day.

And they're going to tell you about it every day. New episodes each day, so you'll never run out of true crime content again. And you won't have to wait weeks for that sort of thing because it comes out every day. True crime never takes a day off. And now, neither does Parcast. Follow Today in True Crime for free on Spotify and anywhere you listen to podcasts. And now back to the show. So 1999 for the Expos here.

Again, another just abysmal season. The attendance goes down even more. Last year it was 914,000. This year their attendance is 773,000. For the year. For 81 games. 81 fucking games. We could draw more than that.

Yeah. If we did shows. If we did 81 shows, we'd draw that. 81 home shows, we could draw that. Just the people going, what's going on tonight? I don't know. Wandering in by accident. Good Lord.

Run a fucking promotion then again no one would know about the promotion unless they spoke french and listen to the radio so never mind don't fucking run a promotion give up give up and go somewhere god damn it this is fucking pathetic jesus christ they keep felipe alu as manager because no one else wants to manage this shit oh god that'll be a horrible job how'd you like to come on oh no it's going down in flames it's owned by the MLB. We're not signing any players, and we're going to move soon. And, oh, by the way, like 3,000 people a game show up,

or fucking 7,000 people a game show up. So you want to be the manager of that? Sounds great. Sounds like a no-win situation to me, and somehow they keep him. So, yeah, but again, this year, Ouget, not bad. He's 6-6, has a.369 ERA, so up from the.130, but the.130 is not really, that's not a sustainable number. No, that's fucking impressive.

Unless you're Bob Gibson or something, that's ridiculous. But he does have 41 saves, which is tied for the National League lead in saves. That's a lot. That's a lot of saves. That's elite level closer. That's a lot of games. Yeah, that's 41 saves, 75 in saves. That's a lot. That's a lot of saves. That's elite level closer. That's a lot of games.

Yeah, that's 41 saves, 75 innings. The appearances here, that's 71 games. Jesus. When you look at some of these relievers pitching in the 80s, that's too many fucking games. If you pitch half the games, that's not, it's a weird kind of wear on your arm. That's way more math than a guy pitching 30 games and there's i mean a starter there's it's 30 and they and they're five six

seven innings yeah at most well that's why you see these closers burn out you don't see closers last more than three four years now guys up three four years and then he's a he's a shitty middle reliever after that he's blown out you don't you just don't see it. I'm trying to think in the history of baseball, guys who have sustained a level of eliteness over Trevor Hoffman, Mariano Rivera, and even Hoffman the last five years of his career, he was throwing 86 miles an hour.

He was shot. He just was really crafty and he was their most popular player, so they weren't going to let him go. It's like 10, 12 years. That's unheard of, too years. That's a miracle. That's unheard of, too. It's unheard of. And that's just with a lot of steroids.

As a closer? Yeah, as a closer, unheard of. They'll stick around the league, but as like a... I mean, Bruce Suter was a closer for a long time. Lee Smith. But I mean, he wasn't a 130 Rivera Hoffman type of talent. I don't know. But it burns people out, is what I'm saying here.

So 71 games, but it's worth it 2.2 million dollars now we're talking this year so good for him he's got to be feeling nice about himself here uh so nice so nice that uh he and his brothers are at a dance club in uh in venezuela and he uh is involved in a fight with a with at a dance club and charged with assault. Oh, he's charged. Yeah, he's charged. Him and his brother weren't fighting each other. They were fighting other people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they started it. We don't know. If they're charged. I think they were the ones winning, probably, is how this works. Whoever wins gets charged, I feel like. If you show up on a scene and you're a cop and there's two people laying down bloody and two people standing there with their fists clenched you put the cuffs on those guys that's

it you know stop them for a while let's figure this out we'll start with arresting those guys they look like they're all right for a minute they're not going anywhere but you guys yeah so he says that he wasn't involved in the fight in court he testifies that it wasn't him it was all his brother okay so this is hilarious yeah because that guy can't afford to be sued. Exactly. Yeah. And his brother's like, yep, it was all me. Yeah.

Like they're just saying it's better off. I mean, he's probably supporting his family. A lot of them, as we know, they have a we'll find out later. He starts a big construction supply business down there and then his family runs it. So, you know, he's setting his family up to not you know be in the same situation they were that's great yeah that's fantastic absolutely people here don't do that they'll no they'll just like mortgage these players mortgage them a house and then when they you know get cut then they don't have the money and everything gets foreclosed on

down there they're like well i'll start you a business and we'll do a whole thing and it's a different thing instead of having these people get to work on something, they get money laundered and sucked from. Yeah, that's no shit. And then everything goes away. He does have, he has elbow surgery this year to clean up some shit in his elbow here. He was charged with assault causing bodily harm. Jesus. But nothing ever really, I think it all falls down on his brother, basically. But it causing bodily harm, but nothing ever really...

I think it all falls down on his brother, basically. But it's in Venezuela, so it's really hard to find the updates on it. So 2000 season here. Montreal still in Montreal. Good God. Attendance, terrible. Last in the league again. Still Felipe

Alou. 67 and 95. Oh, God. He is the luckiest man on earth they win between 65 and 70 games every year and he has a job every fucking year yeah i mean he has nothing to work with no this is when they were rosters were bare nothing was happening he's working with all kids basically they're they're trading off anybody with any value that man hates baseball at this moment now jesus christ he's got it just every day so did i do that not only that but he's in montreal which is fine city but very fucking strange for a guy from venezuela or from not

venezuela i believe they're from the dominican oh god i'm gonna fuck that doesn't matter it's a little culture shock i can't remember it's different put it that way it's one thing to go to the u.s but now you're in fucking Montreal. What a weird place. Fuck Moneyball. I want the movie of this. Yeah, no shit. This is so much better.

By the way, I would like to take a quick sidetrack. I'd like to apologize, and I'll do this on Small Town Murder, too. I'd like to apologize to the people of Cleveland. We said, after we were in Cleveland, that it was, in fact, the worst city in America. We said, this place is fucking terrible, and there's a suicide bar in everyone's house. Only this is the reason why. I do feel bad. I feel like I was premature saying all this because then we went to Omaha.

And let's just say Omaha makes Cleveland look like Paris. Let's just say that. So I'm sorry, Cleveland. And omaha fucking work on that shit that is everyone that every uber driver we had said they were doing it just to socialize because that's how bored they are literally there's nothing to do here you didn't even say i took another job and talked to strangers they're like i just to socialize get out of the house i'm like you know i force people to talk to strangers. Yeah, they're like, just to socialize, get out of the house. You know, I force people to talk to me. It was the weirdest thing.

There's nowhere they can go. They're going to their destination. They've got at least 20 minutes to talk to me. And then they're like, man, it's hot here in the summer, but it's cold in the winter. And I'm like, okay,

so what, why are you... You know, you could die in the summer from heat exhaustion, but in the summer, winter, you might freeze to death. You look like Jack Nicholson at the end of The Shining. Don't worry about it. Oh, it's great. And I said, we would

say like, you know, no offense, but just out of curiosity, well, what makes you stay? And they go, it's cheap. It's cheap. If that's the answer, that's because no one else wants it. That's why shit is cheap. No one else wants it. Run. Run away. Run. Love that cheap is the answer.

Every single individual we asked and half the people we met there were corrections officers or former corrections officers which means that there's a lot of prisons all right which is a weird thing also a lot of prisons and not and there's more people than prison jobs apparently because they aren't squeezed out they're all lady correction officers which and they're all cool too the lady corrections are they're cool to talk to i don't know how they are on the inside but i mean at our show they're very nice very cool and they know small town murder murderers too dig that i know that guy we're like no shit so uh so 2000 though who get here he goes oh and one with a 405 era and only 13 games this is where he blows his elbow

out oh no in may he has to have a surgery to kind of during a game shit together i don't know i think it was just a little messed up and goes in and gets an mri uh 13.1 inning so not much going on there uh but what he does do on april 4th 2000 the very beginning of the year it starts off promising he strikes out three batters on nine pitches which is obviously ties a major league record which is an unbreakable record yeah but an immaculate inning it's called it's nine pitches nine pitches nine strikes three hours which is pretty fucking awesome uh to do and even more i would call this even more immaculate uh 3.2 million bucks wow for for our boy here so that's that's some shit that's incredible that's a fucking that's a chunk of change i love that man that's that's my number that's i love that number that's a nice chunk of change man jesus jesus christ well

that's uh according to that article that's uh he makes the same as basically what joe rogan makes in the air for fucking podcasting that's where i gotta get yeah which is way more than not one year fucking the my lifetime no shit stowed somewhere stowed somewhere so montreal this year again an abysmal disaster obviously as we know every year uh this is uh like toward the very end of their existence i can't remember what year i think it was maybe oh three they were done something like that but uh he starts out in montreal uh goes two and one with a 424 era but july 31st on the day of the trade deadline, he is traded by the Expos to the Boston Red Sox for Tomo Oka and Rich Rundles. Oh.

And, yeah. So they don't like him now? Well, he's coming off an injury. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they're kind of like, eh, they're a little leery. Also, this is the last year of his contract. Oh, okay. So if they have a guy who's going to want

an extension of multi-million dollars, the Expos ain't giving him to him. So the Expos, what they would do is whenever they had anybody whose contract was coming up, give them a chance somewhere. They'd trade them at the trade deadline and get a bunch of kids that don't get paid anything and won't need money for a long time.

And it's nice. They probably did it amicably with his agent because this gives him an opportunity. Oh, he wants to fuck out of Montreal, too. This is depressing. He wants an opportunity to make money. I want to play in front of more people than at a high school baseball game, please. There's more people at the Venezuelan games I played at when I was 14 than this.

This is fucking pathetic. And now he's going to one of the biggest markets in the country for baseball. This is great. 2001, too. Boston. This was a very hotbed of the big rivalry with the Yankees was going. Boston was making the playoffs all the time. And Boston finished 82-79 that year, which is second in the AL East there.

They don't go to the playoffs, though, that year, I don't believe. So that was the year. Oh, Christ, the Yankees played the A's. Yeah, they played the A's in the first round with Jeter with that hand flip thing. And then the Mariners in the second round. Iteter with that hand flip thing and then yeah okay and then the mariners in the second round it would set the world series it set the record oh that was the alcs never mind whatever so either way uh red socks here uh jimmy williams is their manager there uh he comes in after and joe kerrigan also who is the kerrigan got fired that year rod was on this team the 2001 red socks Sox. He was on 99, 2000, 2001, 2002 Red Sox.

And Joe Kerrigan is the only person besides Oral Hershiser in baseball that Rod ever had a bad word to say about. Said that fat, useless fuck Joe Kerrigan ruined my fucking career. Really? He hates Joe Kerrigan. Wow. Hated. Hated his fucking guts because he said he uh he said he

just didn't think he would give him a chance to in a role that he wanted and shit like that so he just he said they just didn't get along first first he was a pitching coach and then he was the uh then he was the uh the manager there and he just hated him and said he didn't he kind of ruined the second half of what he was trying to do and never gave him a chance and shit like that and yeah he just he didn't like him just wasn't a big fan of joe kerrigan he loved everybody else loved dusty baker even though he blew his fucking arm out didn't give a shit he loved him to death he just uh you know seems like everybody loves dusty baker even the people that don't like him they're like you know at least he's he's like your dad that's what he said he said it's like

because dusty the way he said it before a game he would say can you go today if i need you can if i need you can if i need you are you there today yeah and he said it before a game, he would say, can you go today? If I need you, are you there today? And he said, you can't say no to him. He's Dusty Baker. He's like your dad saying, if I need you for a day, he's like, you can't say no. So you say, yeah, even if you pitch the last fucking eight days, you go, sure, I got you. If I got too much to do, can you mow the lawn for me? Sure, Dad. It's just one of those

things where he said, as a player, you'd feel like a pussy saying, nah, man, I'm tired today. He goes, if I need you, are you there for me? How do you say no to that? So it was one of those things. And I was almost attacking your pride. That is a fascinating role to play as a major league general manager.

Yeah. You've got to be able to – you're actually playing chess and being able to talk to your chess pieces. Absolutely. That is amazing. How do you feel about moving two spaces up and one over? How do you feel about that? Do you think you can muster it today?

I can't have a chat with my bishop. You can only go diagonally. What are you doing? So, yeah, that is a weird shit right there. The Red Sox, though, this was quite the core of the team here. They had, what was it here, Carl Everett, Manny Ramirez, and all those guys, Jose Offerman, Dante Bichette, Nomar Garcia-Para, Hideo Nomo, Tim Wakefield on that team.

Rod, like I said, on that team. David Cohn was on that team also for a while. This was the team where, who the hell was it the little guy uh fuck the little pitcher i don't know god damn it i can't remember who his fucking name was now it's in another episode where rod uh threw his bag off the fucking bus because he wouldn't get up for dante bichette oh that's hilarious he was a veteran and threw his bag out the window this kid was he was i can't remember he's a pitcher i'll know i'll know his name if i see him okay no fuck i don't want to say the wrong person yeah don't do the wrong guy he uh yeah he was sitting somewhere

and dante bichette asked to sit down next to him where the kid had his bag and he said no i'm keeping my bag there and uh bichette's a nice guy and he didn't want to do anything and rod saw it and said the fuck out of here that's a fucking veteran he plays every day you just got here right picked his fucking bag up walked to the door of the bus and fucking threw it as far as he could off the bus said he just that's all he said picked it up walked and went he said you heard you know shit breaking and shit in there and he's like go get your fucking bag and stay off the bus basically and he rode with the press the press and the coaches basically that was it he wasn't allowed to go ride somewhere else so that's that's baseball fucking uh justice for you which i think is a funny story

from this era it's how life should be everywhere just respect people that have done what you're doing yeah for much longer yeah they're why you're here you fuck yeah it's he didn't say you have to go sit on the floor he said move your bag can i sit where your bag is well now you have to sit somewhere else now you don't even sit under the fucking bus right yeah watch our fucking diesel fumes fly out of this bus go go hang out with the traveling secretary on fucking bus too i'm sure it's just as nice find the guy with a fucking notepad in his hat you dick there you go sit next to him now who get this year makes 4.2 million fucking dollars that is some cash money right there not too bad and this is when the Red Sox really started just opening the payroll. They were trying to compete with the Yankees,

and it was just a payroll opening for the whole 2000s, for that 10-year period, and even kind of up until about three years ago, was just a who can spend more. Because every pre-agent, the Yankees and Red Sox, would both want them. And then if one wants them, then it would drive the price up for the other because neither one wants that one to have them, and they'd go back and forth. I mean, before the Yankees got A-Rod in the trade, all the rumors were he was going to the Red Sox.

And out of nowhere, he was just a Yankee one day. It's fucking weird. Pays off for the teams like that. Yeah. You go deep pockets, you get them stuck and win. Well, yeah, look at how many World Series they won in a 15-year period between the two teams. So there you go. It works.

Yeah. It does work. You can buy talent. Weird, right? It's strange, isn't it? Kind of like it always was in sports. The St. Louis Browns always sucked back in the day because they couldn't buy anybody. The Cardinals and Yankees and the Dodgers bought whoever they wanted.

Seemed to work out. They're pretty fucking good. Weird, right? Super strange. It's the same in every sport it really is i mean the fucking lakers figure it out yeah i mean but now it's a cap they're all the same but back in the day yeah they could spend the money i mean the cowboys before that cowboy dynasty in the early 90s that ended at the salary cap beginning that was the year it ended because before that jerry jones was like well fuck if i'm winning the super bowl yeah i'm selling more hats and shit than anyone else do it's worth the money but then the cap came and now we all are on equal

grounds and uh i i'm still checking my watch for a cowboy super bowl i can't find one it's been a while it's been a minute been a minute and uh it's gonna be more minutes it's yeah a lot more minutes the last one was won by troy acheman so let's just keep it at that that tells you a lot right there yes the guy in the booth who looks like he doesn't know he's in a booth that guy was the last guy to win a super bowl young people amazing game did that to him yeah exactly no shit so 2002 uh boston red socks 93 and 60 uh and 69 so good team here uh grady little was the manager of this team i remember when they got him kind of cooled the whole thing off and uh ugat has a great year uh one and six which doesn't really matter uh there three era he has 55 i'm. He has 40 saves, which is fantastic.

60 innings pitched. He has a great year. This is good stuff. And he's an all-star again. So now he's a two-time all-star, 98 and 2002. And he makes, drumroll for this shit, $6.7 million. He's made so much money. He's making fucking bank now.

He's made over $10 million. Oh, yeah. He's made so much money. He's making fucking bank now. He's made over $10 million. Oh, yeah. He's taking care of the family now. He's got, you know, his mom has a nice house and the construction business. It's kind of like the construction business is over here and the house is like across the street from it. Money should be making money at this point. That's what I mean. It's beautiful.

He's doing well. He's living the dream of everything. October 28, 2002, he's granted free agency, but that's not a big deal. He probably wants to be a free agent coming off an all-star year because that means people are going to bid for him. And December 23, 2002, he signs

as a free agent with Texas. No problem there, obviously. So 2003 season, he starts the year with Texas. When you sign as a free agent, you expect to stay somewhere, at least for the year. For a while. That means I wanted to come here and you wanted to have me. Right.

So much so that you sought me out. I flew down here and I signed some shit. We both agreed on this with, like, a celebration. Yeah. This was a big deal for us. You gave me a hat. Right. You gave me a hat right you gave me a hat

we had a gift and a check we cheersed right and everything was great and now i don't know what's going on but uh he starts out oh and four with a 419 era he's not exactly what texas was looking for here uh 26 saves though uh but still he's blew some saves which is a problem the blown saves are as important an issue as the uh the actual saves that's that's a problem so on july 11th 2003 the rangers trade him uh to the florida marlins oh boy for will smith um he's you know what he's doing a michael jordan thing he's like i'm gonna try it he's like i'm tired of the men in black and all that shit and you know i'm a little old for this but i'm gonna give it a look uh a minor leaguer named will smith adrian gonzalez who's a fucking great player

obviously a good hitter still and uh ryan snare so uh he goes there he's traded to uh florida now for florida he goes three and oh has a 141 era six saves he does more of a kind of a setup role here but it does fantastic for them and florida as a matter of fact uh this year they go 91 and 71 and finish second in the nl east but are qualify for a wild card berth yeah uh they beat the giants in the divisional series here uh three to one they have a seven game series i remember this this was a heartbreaker for the fucking cubs fans seven game series with the cubs this was the bartman yep this was the steve bartman moisey saloo uh yeah this was uh gonzalez letting the double play ball go through his legs and the big rally and then the cubs basically were counting down our last three innings to go to the world series and then two days later they were fucking done and not going to the World

Series. And ready to drown a poor man who, for all intents and purposes, had nothing to do with their life. Not really. No, it really wasn't him. Other people were bumping him. He was just the guy who had a silhouette. Everybody else, no one else had headphones and a hat and a thing.

If anyone else had that silhouette... He had so many accessories that made him stand out he was just no see it was he looked like brett michael standing there like he might as well i had like fucking jewelry hanging off him and a headband and like he was ridiculous he's like johnny depp just a kucherman got rings coming off him but even still after that play there was still many more opportunities for the cubs to win that game all you had to do was catch a ground ball and get an easy double play. That inning's over.

You're in the World Series. Instead, a shortstop who gets paid money. By the way, Bartman, he wasn't cutting a paycheck. Your ticket dollars did not pay for anything he did. But the asshole who missed the ground ball, Gonzalez, he was getting paid to do that. No one said shit. If that never happened, he's the... He's the Bartman.

He's Leon Durham, who was the guy in 84 who let the ball go through his legs. He Bucknered before Buckner and the Cubs didn't go to the World Series and the Padres went in 84. He would have been that guy, but instead, relief. So not bad.

So they win 4-3 and they go to the World Series. The Marlins in the World Series versus the Yankees. I don't know if you remember this World Series. Fucking horrible. This was not a great Yankee team, first of all. I was always, the whole year, I'm like, they're going to the World Series? The Marlins shouldn't be too proud of that one.

That was a weird World Series that year. It was a weird whole season. The whole playoffs was weird. Yeah. Starting with the Cubs thing. Yeah. Well, the Marlins were comebacks all year. They started out the year with Torborg as manager, Jeff Torborg.

And then they fired him and hired Jack McKeon, who's an old pro. The Reds and everybody. He's an old manager here. And they ended up making a bunch of trades, getting Urbina, getting some other people. Got Craig Council. Yeah. here and they ended up trading making a bunch of trades getting urbina getting some other people council uh yeah yeah yeah got a bunch of other people here and ended up making a run and going to the goddamn world series which was nuts weird and uh yeah they end up and and who get uh he pitched in three games and didn't give up any uh had a three era uh in the nlds and then against the cubs he uh he actually got a win he was-0. He pitched in four of the games, which is crazy.

2.57 ERA, seven innings pitched and a save. So very good. And then in the World Series, he has two saves in the World Series. No kidding. Saves two games. Yeah, has a 6 ERA. The Yankees hit him a little bit, but he saved the game, so who gives a shit? He pitched three innings in three games.

Not too shabby. And the goddamn Marlins beat the Yankees 4-2 in the World Series. So now we're talking about he is not only getting paid. He's a champ. He's a goddamn World Series. This is top of the mountain. He made $4.5 million this year. Jesus Christ.

The man has made almost $20 million. To be a fucking champion. Big fat paycheck. Big fat ring. Yeah. Beat the yankees in the world smile yeah he went to yankee stadium in the world series and and that's like that's the dream and you and went and won yeah and beat them and became a champion that's insane so i'm

gonna say grace yeah this is let's go ahead and call it what it is this is steinbrenner knows your name and is mad at you for beating him and And is going to try to buy you next time you're available. Oh, Steinbrenner's big on that. If you beat him, he's like, I will fucking buy him when he's available. I will not fuck that. He's good. He beat me. That must mean he's the greatest player ever.

He's overpaid so much for people because they were good against the Yankees. They were Yankee killers. Some guys play well against the Yankees. It's just a weird thing. I don't know what it is. Some guys do, and he would see that and go, that must mean he's the greatest player ever. And then they're terrible. They're only good in that situation. Did Johnny Damon go from Boston to New York? Yeah. He did that to him, too. Yeah.

Because he took him. That's the thing. He was a pain in the ass, Johnny Damon. He's like, I'm going to fucking get him. No. And then he made him cut his hair. Yeah. Well, Damon, before that, too, with the Royals, he was a pain in the ass. And then the A's, he's a pain in the ass, Johnny Damon. He's a good player. He's one of those

just... Just you want him on your fucking team. Yeah. He's a good hitter. He's just a solid hitter. He'll find that ball. God, a terrible center fielder, buddy. Good hitter. He could get to shit. Just that was where it ended. So, $4.5 million. Grace, October 26, 2003.

He's granted free agency again, which is good because Florida, this is when they have a fire sale. Yeah, it's crumbling now. This is before they had 97. They won the World Series and then completely sold everybody. Stripped the team bare. 2003, they won the World Series, and then everybody left. Josh Beckett, all those guys fucking gone. And then it's starting up again now.

Anyone who wanted a dollar was gone at the end, and he was in that purge here. So January of 2004, he's arrested in Caracas. It's in a very upscale neighborhood in caracas where he's you know hangs out and lives and shit and uh goes down to spend time and uh he's arrested for firing gunshots out of the window of an suv why would he do that of the passenger side of an suv in the morning by the way why uh yeah uh they it was him and a friend cesar diaz were intoxicated when they were detained but this was after the incident so we donesar Diaz, were intoxicated when they were detained.

But this was after the incident. So we don't know if they were intoxicated in the car or not. They seized a nine millimeter revolver from the pair, which sounds old school. They were charged with possession of even think I've ever seen a nine millimeter revolver. That's bizarre. It's probably like some homemade weird Venezuelan gun. I make for many parts and I put together for you. Like, what? Where'd you get this? What is this? homemade weird venezuelan gun i make for many parts and i put together for you like what where

did you get this what is this uh i i fixed the 22 and i bought it out a little more you know and then i get the different barrel and you're like what the fuck are you doing how'd you do this shit that's some ingenuity dude do not look down sights when fire no no away from body all the way away bullet Sometime come apart. Make your eyes not there anymore. Best way to put it is bad. So, yeah. So, they're charged with possession of a

weapon without a license and misuse of a firearm here. They are arrested and they try to get comment and people, residents called the police to complain about the gunshots. And the police chief said Urbina could not explain why he allegedly fired his gun.

They got him in there like, why'd you fire his gun? He's like, I don't know. I don't know. No idea. He told me it would work. I didn't believe him. Look at this thing. You think this would work?

This thing looks fucking crazy. I'll put it in my mouth. I fired it three times. I still don't think it'll work again. That's what I mean. Let me put it in my mouth, chief. Come on. So, yeah.

So this is fucking funny. Later that month, though, he's all of a sudden now he knows. Now he knows what happened. Yeah. Later in the month when he's in court, he says that he fired his gun in self-defense because men on motorcycles were trying to rob him. I think he would have remembered that the first time. You'd think.

I'm pretty sure that when the cops initially got to him, he would have been like, these fucking dudes on motorcycles came up. They were trying to rob me. You know, I make a lot of money. I said, fuck that. I have this homemade gun that I'm going to shoot you with. No way.

And then we thwarted the whole robbery. I got their plate numbers, if you'd like them, officer. Instead, he's like, I don't know why I did it. And then in court, he's like, they tried to rob rob me it was terrible and uh the judge says okay good enough through the charges that's right plausible enough i guess venezuela has got 20 million dollars they probably did if there's so many robberies and everything they're like that sounds plausible they didn't bring up well he didn't say that when we arrested him he could have fucking said that nobody said that nobody said that which would have been self-defense and probably advantageous for him to say at

any point in this. That's not like an incriminating statement that he didn't want to make. That's the statement that frees you. It doesn't seem like trial day information. No, that's exculpatory. Yeah, that's what are you doing? Information? Yeah.

They tried to rob me. Yeah. Shot at him. Got to run. And if they still arrested him and went to court, that would make sense. The judge said, I rule that that's okay to do if someone's trying to rob you. That's not what happened. That's weird.

So 2004, March 29, 2004, with those charges thrown out, Uget is signed as a free agent with the Detroit Tigers. So going to Detroit. These relievers bounce around. Five teams to Detroit. These relievers bounce around. Relievers bounce around. Once they're done from their first team, they really start to bounce around. Back then, the relief pitchers, the

salaries really swelled. So they would just go from team to team. And a team that thinks they were going to make a run that year would say, we need another bullpen arm. Everybody thinks they're a bullpen arm away from the World Series. So if we can get a guy in here throwing 95 out of the pen, that's the answer. And so that's kind of what they did.

Tigers were way more than a player away as they went 72 and 90 that year under manager Alan Trammell, the old shortstop slash third baseman. Yeah, yeah. Here they have almost 2 million people. At Comerica Park here, which was their new park, which is still there now.

That was after they tore down Tiger Stadium, which I heard was the shittiest, like, actually, facilities there was. Rod said there was rats that were fucking. Oh, God. It's scary down there. Yeah. It was an old, 100-year-old park. It's old Detroit. It was not good.

That's not positive. Not good shit here. But, yeah, they go 72-90. Uget ends up being 4-6 for them. Not too bad. 450 ERA, 21 saves. So he's okay for them. Not too bad.

But he makes $4 million. Wow. $4 million. Problem is, he didn't have the chance to finish the season, though. Because? The last month of the season, he was not around because on september 1st 2004 his mother is kidnapped oh no yes uh this is fucked up yeah this is bad so now his father's been murdered in a robbery attempt yeah and his mother has now been kidnapped oh my god

this is bad shit they're holding her for ransom because Uday and Hussein and fucking... Hussein. All of the Hussein boys are all here. Yes, his mother here is taken. She's kidnapped from the town of Ucamare del Tue. Does that start with a U? Oh, Ucamare. And that's when they moved there.

Now it's like a nicer place, allegedly, or supposed to be than where they're from here. It's on the southeastern outskirts of Caracas. They moved to the Burbs, basically. They live in the Burbs. Her home, they say in this article, is the most expensive on the block. It sticks out like a fucking sore thumb. Big and pink. On sticks out like a fucking sore thumb. It's, you know. Big and pink.

On the top of a hill. It's a big, giant house that a guy with a major league United States salary can afford to build his mother. Who lives there? Somebody important. Let's kidnap him. None of us, I bet. Yeah. Somebody must.

Who should we kidnap? I don't know. Let's start with that house and move down the line. What do you say? Yeah. It's a nice place, actually, too. It's actually, like, it's not a shitty, it's not like in the middle of the ghetto

they built a big house. It's a nice neighborhood. Nice neighborhood with this suburban place and then this big fucking giant house sitting in the middle of it, which is weird. I guess it's near the, it's right next to the family's construction supply business.

Like we said, it's like across the street here. Apparently, gunmen came dressed as police officers yeah four gunmen came and uh uh to the door and forced their way into the into the home here and uh they ended up stealing 520 dollars and abducted his mother maura yeah she's the expensive she's the expensive one here and also a mechanic who was working at the home who just showed up to fix something. Dumb luck. And like two minutes later, these guys showed up. Like this poor bastard.

Fuck. If he would have just smoked an extra cigarette at the last job, he would have fucking missed the whole. He would have showed up, knocked, nobody answered. I don't know. He would have went somewhere else. Why is the door kicked in? That's instead he's kidnapped by Venezuelan gunmen.

And we'll find out. is this shit goes deep. I'm sure. And that's fucked up, too, because he already knows that if they have to prove a point that they're business and serious about this. Yeah. He's the one that's going away. Well, they need. Yeah, that's the thing. Sure.

Yeah. Absolutely. They need to send an ear or a hand or some shit to make a point. It's going to be his because he'll be worth the same amount, nothing, to get either fucking way. Whereas the mom, you got to keep her intact if you want to make a shitload of money. All peace is on her, but fuck this guy. We can send his dick. Yeah, her they probably kept nice.

But him, yeah, they just throw him in a closet somewhere. We don't care about him. He's got to be sweating. I don't know anything. I don't even live here. My place is a shithole my apartment's worse than yours i guarantee it let me go please i'm a mechanic yeah you guys are underworld figures you have more money than me jesus uh joe uh joel rengifo is the chief of the national investigative police anti-kidnapping unit here uh in the area joel i'm sure but spelled joel joel rengifo uh here he says about this uh quote there could have been some

previous surveillance of the pitcher's mother and that is why they may have taken this person well no shit uh she's taken and right away there's no contact there's no ransom demand right away so they're like uh what do you want? What's going on here? We know that you want ransom, obviously. We're just trying to figure out how much she's worth to him. That's the thing here. The Tigers released a statement saying that Uget had left the club.

He goes right back to Venezuela to attend to the situation. The team said they released an official statement. Quote, the Detroit Tigers organization is working with Major League Baseball and its contacts in Venezuela to assist UGET. So they're all trying to do it. Eventually, Renfigo says the Rengifo says the kidnappers demanded six million dollars in ransom. And the problem is they don't want them to pay. The police don't want them to pay. That's the thing. They want it to be a they want to they don't want them to pay. The police don't want them to pay. That's the thing.

They want it to be a, they want to, they don't want to. Resolve it by arresting them. Yeah, they don't want to. And stopping this whole thing. They don't want to set an example of you should kidnap rich people's moms. Especially baseball players when we've got a bunch of them. Oh, and it keeps going on too. Carlos Zambrano's mother got kidnapped in 2009.

It keeps going. Of course. These players are scared shitless to have their families at home because they're not safe. It's crazy. That's ridiculous. Three quarters of the world's kidnappings at this point in time occur in Latin America. Really? Three quarters of them occur.

They're all ransom shit. If you watch Narcos, it's all kidnapping for ransom. It's a huge thing down there. That's how people make money. That's a profession down there, kidnapper, just to get ransom money. It's like Somali pirate. Absolutely. It's a fucking profession.

Yeah, and with drug dealers and shit, it works because they don't call the cops. Right. Because you don't want them involved. Yeah, the bulk of them are in Colombia, Mexico, Argentina, and Brazil, they say. The insurance industry estimates that there's more than 7,500 kidnappings a year in Latin America. But a lot of people think that there's actually more than that because so little are actually reported. Most of the time, it's just paid the ransom. You get them back and they keep it all underground.

Especially if everybody's in shady dealings. Who gets above board? He's a ball player. He doesn't have to fucking hide anything. He goes to the cops. And that number probably is way up too because if I kidnap you and your family pays it, now you're pissed and you're going to kidnap some mob guy.

That's the other thing. And now that number's now doubled. That is how it goes here. Venezuelan police say that the number of kidnappings rose in seven years from 51 to 201 in the 95 to 2002 time. And yeah, they say many people just pay off the kidnappers. Ugeth even says, quote, you don't irritate these people. You just try to stay calm.

So because they're saying, you know, they're trying to get quotes out of him and he's not talking. He doesn't want to say I want to rip their fucking lungs out and stomp on them because he doesn't want to piss these people off because they have his mom. Right. So, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. The kidnappers end up calling six different times. Ugeth is never allowed to talk to his mother over this period. But he does. He is allowed to ask a question that only she would

know the answer okay and then the right answer lets them him know that she's still alive uh so that's at least there's that ask her this and then you know so that's something at least he knows his mom's alive right uh she was being held apparently in an abandoned campground in the southern mountains we're talking way out she's being held in one of these it's it's out in the middle of the jungle it's not like in a city somewhere it's not like uh when de souza was holding that it's not like that in the middle of the of a you know it's not a condo that's lavish and lovely it's not a summer home that he decided this is a in the middle of some drug compound in the middle of the mountains here uh a venezuelan group they find out they figure out

originally kidnapped her that was the four the four gunman team that dresses police officers then she was sold to colombian drug dealers oh no as like a debt payment you know they think it was a debt payment for they owed a debt of you know probably two million dollars and they say well here take this lady she's's worth $6 million. Oh, my God. And the Colombians think they can get the money, and so they take her. So now this guy's mother's being sold by gunmen to other gunmen, which is absolutely- To way worse.

To way worse. Who knows? But just- Probably. If they are willing- A more organized group of people. If they're in debt to them and owe them something they're probably a more organized oh and they are scary we'll talk about who they are

they're a very scary organization here uh the nearest village to where they believe she's being held is an eight hour drive an eight hour drive think about that here to la is less than six hours and that's far and it's through the fucking desert yeah another two hours that's the closest village not like imagine there's nothing between here and you know like albuquerque and la and that's the closest thing to that's crazy time crazy i mean eight hour drive i'm sure it's not going 75 miles an hour no desert this is it's 35 through some bumps and turns if not if that through the jungle in a lot of these places uh the last time goes by and at one six phone calls come in and at one point there's two months that go by now between the last phone call that he hasn't seen his mother he hasn't

heard from they haven't demanded ransom he doesn't know if they just killed her and threw her in the threw her in a fucking ravine somewhere and said forget the whole thing or what it was uh but yeah they just said they wanted six million dollars and uh that's that now urbina says uh quote for your mother you'd do anything you'd give your life but uh uh even other venezuelan people have helped to like other players have said they would chip in on the ransom for him because this is you know this could happen to my mother and then i'd hope people would chip in for me right so literally all the venezuelan players started a fund to pay off this ransom like we'll fucking help you because six million dollars in a lump sum of k you don't if he makes six million in a year right he'll get it all right yeah you know

fucking what is it the 600 000 is going to his fucking representation then he's got lawyers and then he's going to pay taxes. He's not making six million dollars. And then if he buys shit and starts a, you know, buys a house, starts a business. It's pretty, it's pretty crazy, though. The kidnappers would tell her the mother that

her son didn't love her. Otherwise, he'd pay the ransom. So obviously he doesn't love her. And Urbina said, everybody told me, you know, we're praying for you and shit like that but he's like that doesn't really no help those didn't seem to come through yeah so uh the the authorities down there in venezuela the anti-kidnapping unit they're urging urbina to refuse to pay any ransom they're saying do not pay any ransom uh they think that obviously this will set a precedent and uh, and this will be happening every day. And the stakes just go higher.

You get more and more valuable people. All it would be would be every Venezuelan baseball player's family would be staked out 24-7, and if they left their house, they'd all be kidnapped. That's all it would be. The Rengifo guy says, quote, If he pays, that means he doesn't trust us, which is a really weird way to put it.

That's pretty gross. If he pays, that means he doesn't trust that. Well, it's a lot of trust to put in people that they'll get your mother back alive. Sir, two months. Yeah, it's been a while. My trust wears thin. Six months go by. No.

Six months go by. There's six phone calls in the first four months, and then there's two months go by with no phone calls. So this is getting crazy. Fuck no, we don't trust you no yeah uh he says renfigo or rengifo says and that will affect don't don't be so hard on rengifo wait to hear what he does this guy's like fucking uh this guy's like a schwarzenegger movie really basically yeah he does like some predator shit i can't wait to find out it's crazy uh he says and that will affect other ballplayers because kidnappers will see how easy it is to get money they'll think if a ball player paid the next one will do the same which yeah uh the division of this of this unit has 80 officers uh he assigned 15 of these 80 officers to this case that's a huge chunk of his of his resources

here sixth yeah he says the the uh situation was even being monitored by president hugo chavez no kidding yeah even he was concerned because it's a huge that's national it looks bad for for them that they can't if he if he tourism dollars down well it's nobody was going to venezuela in the fucking 2000s but still like one of those things where you know if he can't say he's out there saying this is the way you run a country you'd be a fucking dictator and if you can't even keep rich people's mothers safe how's he gonna say that like your country obviously isn't doing very well if my mom can't go outside without being kidnapped by colombian drug dealers

this is fucking crazy uh so when they're debtors or they're debtors, yeah. Rangifo said that Urbina has agreed with the police not to pay the ransom. That's how this is going on. He says, quote, I don't think Urbina will pay money to them behind our backs. So they trust who get there. He didn't speak to the media at all here. But his his brother said that there has been no negotiations except for the last phone call. And that's been that. His brother said that there has been no negotiations except for the last phone call.

And that's been that. They do release sketches of four men who they say they've identified as the kidnappers. So they have sketches, but they don't know their real names or who they are or anything like that. They were dressed as policemen and they opened a big gate to get into the compound. They showed a fake search warrant and uh they left with his mother they left in a green ford fiesta which four dudes and the mother that's going to be the most harrowing part of her journey that is a fucking cram-packed car yeah never mind being held in a compound in the mountains being taken in that oh i'm sorry four guys the mechanic and her oh god jesus they put the mechanic in the

trunk of course and the fucking hatchback they fucking tied him to the roof it just yeah like a deer yeah like they tied him over the hood just be happy we're not dragging you fucker yeah yeah exactly be happy we tied you to the hood happy we didn't just say hold on asshole as we drive fast uh so yeah what a shit car my emily had one of those and she just got rid of it thank christ it's a what a train wreck of a vehicle those are bad stuff here uh my friend when we were 13 my friend's mother had a ford fiesta and a bunch of us picked it up and moved it we picked it up and put it in the street why we would we pay play prank pranks on his mom i don't know but we picked it up and put it in the street. Why would we play pranks on his mom, I don't know, but we picked it up and put it in the street from its parking space.

Did you say this one was a lime green one? Lime green. Or green, not lime, but green. It's probably the lime green one, but that's the one that my Emily had. Same goddamn car. What is her name exactly? Emily? Oh, okay.

I thought it was my Emily. I thought, make her sound like a doll. Like an 80s doll commercial. No, it's my Emily. It's so weird. It's creepy. It makes me, it creeps me out every time you say it. It's so strange. I picture like a small doll that's too big.

One of those dolls that's like half the size of a child though and it's freaky looking. That's what she is. And it's like, it walks on its own. You're like, ah, make it stop. And its eyes are dead and shit. And you're like, ah, make it stop. And it eyes are dead and shit. And you're like, ah, make it stop. And it's got a creepy theme song. My Emily walks down the street.

My Emily has little feet. It's what it seems like to me. Like fucking, you know. She is dinky. It's fucking funny, man. I don't know. It just freaks me out. So anyway.

She would love that doll. Yeah. She loves creepy weird shit. Oh, cool. Get her a doll that Yeah. She loves creepy, weird shit. Oh, cool. Get her a doll that looks like her and call it my Emily. You really should. I'm going to do it. It's like my buddy.

Remember my buddy and me. That's what I, it's like the girl version. I'm going to get her. It's the, it's the dollar store version of skipper. Yeah. I'll bet it fucking exists. It probably does. They have dolls that you make that look like your kids.

I've seen the, It's creepy as fuck. It's so weird, dude. Unbelievable. They had ones where they would dress the doll in a way, and then they would send your kid the same outfit, too. So they'd send you a doll with an outfit, and then a cute outfit so your kids could be identical. They still do it.

That's the creepiest shit I've ever heard in my life. That's not cool. My daughter doesn't... So the American Girl doll... Oh, the American Girl dolls. Okay. shit i've ever heard in my life that's not cool my daughter doesn't she so the the american girl doll that i mean the american girl does okay they sell they sell the goddamn uh all the clothes that they that you can buy for the doll you can buy for the kid too that's and my daughter liked it for a little bit and then she was like i don't want that anymore that's creepy and you're like thank god i want that to high five yeah just sitting on the couch while you wander into the room

my daughter used to have these four foot tall dolls they were the fucking freakiest looking things in the world the barbie that's my size or whatever yeah it was so fucking weird if you just walked into a room like ah yeah it would be dead-eyed fucking thing staring at you it's fucking weird like a child corpse standing in a room. Like, what did you do? Unbelievable. Which one of your friends is this? So, yeah, they said negotiations are not ongoing, but they're trying to figure it out.

A new later on report said that the ransom had been up to $15 million. What? But the police disputed this account so we're not sure exactly uh if that's true or not here in the background of a phone call tell him 15 he said hey johnny said 15 not a dime under 15 i'm gonna kill that bitch fuck them so uh yeah uh this is how they this is all all going on. Jesus Christ here. His friend here, who's a player down there said, quote,

I think he wants to bring his mother back alive. I don't care how much money he has to pay. More important is him having his mother, Ozzie Guillen, who was the white socks manager at the time, who I think they won the world series that year in 2005, if I'm not mistaken, or six,

I don't know. Red Sox one Oh four. I want to say they beat the rockies in 05 or 06. That's possible. One of those. Not the Rockies. Maybe somebody else. Astros.

Astros. Yes. White Sox Astros. Maybe. Yeah, that was the one. Was that when Barack Obama pitched? No. He wasn't even elected.

He was a senator then. 2008. They don't give a fuck about senators. No. 2005. They're like, fuck him. It took a little while for them to get up there again. An Illinois senator? We don't care about him about senators no 2005 like fuck him took a little while for them to get up there an illinois senator we don't care about well the white socks maybe it

could have worked but that's what he threw out a ball game later yeah yeah yeah uh so three matter uh now guillen uh was the uh was a coach on the marlins team that urbina was on so he knows him very well he says about about Urbina, quote, he's really crushed. He was really scared and felt bad because he wanted to quit baseball last year. Now this has happened to his mom. He feels guilty like, wow, if I wasn't

playing anymore, I would have been there. Apparently he thought about retiring before this happened and he feels like if he would have retired, then he would have been home. Shit, the guilt. He could have protected his mom uh he also says quote there this is eduardo alfonso who used to play he's known he's known since he was a kid remember eduardo alfonso played for the giants and mets for god 15 years third baseman in the 90s and 2000s uh he says that they've already lost the they've already lost the father so god forbid something

happens to his mother we're just desperate about getting his mother back right now i'm sure so february 18th 2005 the kidnapping anti-kidnapping unit mounts a an offensive they know where she's at to try yeah to try to yeah they will find out how that ended up happening okay they put together a strike force yeah they got seal team six this is some serious like this is like a fucked up 80s action movie where they're going into the jungle with machine guns to fight some paramilitary group who's at a compound this is shit you see and you're like well this is silly in an action movie and and it's actually happening so it's insane uh i guess the whole mission lasts eight hours here it's 340 miles southwest of caracas so out there uh they had held her for

five months and 18 days so far damn it in captivity which is crazy uh she's in the been uh what they call the deep venezuelan jungle here uh they the kidnappers too they this is like a drug uh a drug comp a drug uh gang or uh cartel basically their own little cartel a drug cartels jungle compound like their hideout so they they're all have like machine guns yeah and grenades and like explosives and there's like literally bricks of cocaine everywhere this is some crazy 80s schwarzenegger rambo shit going on right here. It's fucking nuts here. They sent 30 officers to try to do this raid. So this is like a whole commando unit here.

They said, quote, we had to take a boat to arrive on the river by surprise. So this is crazy here. I guess it was an abandoned tourist camp that they turned into a compound called Las Nieves or i guess that means the snows i'm not sure about shit uh but yeah it's uh the the daily news here had a really uh good article where they did some investigative shit here uh talking about this particular uh they got a lot of good details that nobody else had about the the raid here. This is Rengifo says the unit went to a campsite. There was two dozen people there, including the group's leader. They were that's where they were up. It was like the central ops of their massive drug ring is what they did.

They had that there. That's not where they held her. They had another compound here. Jesus. That's not where they held her. They had another compound here. Jesus. At this compound, they ended up finding the leader of this group, Alvis Patiko.

Alvis. Alvis, who his nickname is El Chiguero. El Chiguero, this guy's the leader, and he's interrogated by the police officers, and he's later arrested as the unit seizes 654 kilos of cocaine here which is over a thousand pounds of coke that is a lot that's like 13 1400 pounds of coke that's a shitload of coke yeah lots and lots you couldn't carry that no if you put that in your fucking car it would drag on the ground if you put it in your trunk that's how much coke that is wouldn't fit in a ford fiesta no it would be the No, it's heavier than the Ford Fiesta. The same weight. Same mass can't take up the same space.

No fucking way. No, the wheels would just, the tires would scrape the wheel wells. That's how much coke. You think of coke, you don't think of it in enough weight that it holds a fucking car down. But that's literally how much weight.

It would be noticeable. Like all the drug dealers in the 80s that would do all these drug transporting, they would have their cars be specially equipped with shocks that could hold thousands of pounds in the trunk that wouldn't drop the trunk to the ass to the ground because then it looks like you either have

dead people or a bunch of coke in your trunk. Which do you have, sir? Which is it? So police ended up getting, they end up, they extradite him to Columbia. They incarcerate him in Bogota Maximum Security Prison of this whole deal. He would not give, he wouldn't crack on the whereabouts of Arbina's mom. He would not fucking do it. And you know they fucking tortured him.

Oh, yeah. You know they tortured him. Oh, yeah. They found him in a jungle. You think that was a... Did you say Angola tortured him. Oh, yeah. You know they tortured him. Oh, yeah. They found him in a jungle. You think that was a... Did you say Angola? Yeah. No, not Angola.

Columbia. Right. Bogota. Bogota. That's what I meant. Bogota maximum security prison. That sounds... I don't want to even be in Bogota, let alone the fucking prison.

Think about when they captured him, though, in a compound in the fucking jungle. He got the shit kicked out of him. Do you think they held his head nicely when they put him in the back of the car? Or do you think they said, we could kill you and disembowel you in these fucking jungle and nobody would know the difference the only people that would know would be your friends that's it uh yeah but what they did get there a young boy amongst this group that they had doing you know shit work and a little intern i guess you could call him uh he he was at this camps out heap campsite he pointed out to the police uh another

person in the group who was a part of the kidnapping and knew more information all right so they had a little guy in the group never have a teenager in your hit squad remember that little hero oh yeah that's what happens never have a teenager in its but they'll always fucking tell on you unreliable they ended up pointing this guy out this guy was a little easier to crack yeah uh than the other one the leader the leader of the group was a little hardcore and he wasn't cracking but this guy they find an underling and he's more willing to tell the tale yeah somehow i wonder how that happened he was so willing that he ended up being the guide for a four member unit uh for their journey to get to the rescue. The trip tour.

Yeah, he knew how to navigate through this shit here. They called it a harrowing boat trip in this article. Listen to this. This is right from this Daily News article. Quote, After a harrowing boat trip through piranha and anaconda-infested waters and a five-hour trek by foot to reach the campsite. Wow.

That's directly quoted from the art that's fucking crazy i mean obviously there's some harrowing but i mean there's piranha and anaconda in the water that's enough that's enough that warrants the word harrowing harrowing whatever it is both you need you need dwayne johnson to get you there yeah you need no shit you need all that cocaine you see is at the last place he said uh rengifo said we were working on pure adrenaline uh and they ended up having a four this four uh unit team here our four member team ended up in a gun battle with the kidnappers who were holding uh the mother here uh two of the police officers two of the raiding police officers were injured during the shootout

and uh rengifo ended up shooting one of the kidnappers with his m16 wow m16 they're going in like this is like american guns this is like nom shit here uh m16 he think about how what an 80s movie this is okay four-man raid with the with the guy who they captured leading the group you picture him like his hands bound going, come on, assholes. They push him and he's like, okay, it's this way. They get there. Two of his guys are injured, so he's down.

He's shooting. He shoots a guy with an M16. It does a through and through out of the guy's body because this is, you know, that's a powerful weapon. It's a powerful weapon. He's going to do that. Exits his body and pierces the propane tank that they have as the fuel source causing a fucking hundreds of feet high mushroom cloud fireball only in an 80s

movie does this happen it's like a belt fed machine gun and he's a whole one hand and i'm just yeah just yeah what carl weathers lost his one arm he's fucking going at it with the other and predators throwing bullets that's that's what he's doing i am never i i gotta apologize to all shitty b action 80s movie film directors who i said of this nil never who does a one time come on a raid on a drug compound with a big shootout and a big fireball when the propane tank gets hit. Horseshit. No, it happened.

It actually happened. Tell me one goddamn time it happened. They just predicted the future back then. That's all it is. They just predicted. So they were, even more, I apologize, they're fucking psychic. They're prescient motherfuckers. They knew exactly what happened here.

Next you're going to tell me you roll a car They knew exactly what happened here. So, yeah. Next, you're going to tell me you roll a car off a cliff and it explodes. Yeah, come on. What's going to happen? It gently rolls down, lands at the bottom, two-second delay, and an explosion. That's what's going to happen here. I'm sure that happened, too. So, another kidnapper ends up being shot and wounded, and he ends up dying a day later.

shot and wounded and he ends up dying a day later uh but he dies because his more less from the bullet wound and more that while he was injured uh his body was partially eaten by wild animals because he's in the jungle amazing and if you're laying there bleeding you are fair game for a lot of shit that wants to eat you and if you can't get away yeah so he was gonna get you not on by wild animals and those wounds end up killing him. Two other kidnappers escape. So one dead on the spot in a fireball explosion. One shot and then eaten by animals to escape through the jungle. Rengifo said, and this is this is OK.

This is the best 80 shit that I've ever heard in my life. I'll be back. Oh, no. He doesn't listen. This is an 80 80s shit that I've ever heard in my life. He says, I'll be back. Oh, no. He doesn't. Listen, this is an 80s movie scene. If you saw this happen in an 80s movie, you would laugh out loud. You go, oh, my God, that's amazing. That's so fucking cheesy.

Quote, the explosion was so powerful, I was knocked to the ground. The kidnapper's body flew into the air and landed on top of me. Oh, my God. not an easy undertaking at all this is ridiculous he shot the man the bullet went with a machine gun yeah the bullet went through him into a propane tank causing a massive mushroom cloud fireball explosion that launched the kidnapper through the air on top of the guy who shot with the machine gun this is fucking amazing oh my god it's either that it's a horrible parody movie like hot shots yeah that's what i mean this is in real life no even a parody movie this is cheesy you know what i mean in hot shots you'd be like yeah that is

kind of like a b-movie this is stupid holy shit um theppers, a lot of them, they were trying to flee, obviously. They found weapons and explosives at the site here. Officers, after all this, two run away. One's getting eaten by animals. One is blown sky high like a cartoon, for Christ's sake. Like Yosemite Sam found the tnt fucking supply and he's orbiting the planet now he's just orbiting with his face off the front of his hat burned off and his face all full of soot mustache a little singed uh so they get to up to the building and they find his

mom alive wow she's actually there unbelievable so they actually fucking do a crazy rescue with explosions wild this is an 80s thing so now they have so rad and she's like not in good shape though she's malnourished six months so now they're carrying her through the fucking woods with injured men through the woods through the jungle with anaconda and piranha and a hostage that they took and a guy getting eaten by wild animals and a fucking explosion, just smoldering. And this is insanity. Well, they carry a lady who's been held captive.

This is a fucking exciting. I'm sorry. This is goddamn exciting here. So, wow. Now, Urbina, when they,

when he knew that they were going in for the final stretch, he said, call me when you see her. And then he gets a call and he gets drives right down to the police station. And his mom's there. Obviously, he's happy. She lost 50 pounds in captivity. So hopefully she was chunky to begin with, because otherwise she's loose.

That's what I mean. She might be like, I've never felt better in my life. Look at me. It's the kidnapper diet you can see my my figure now before and after the kidnapper died so i look like before you son six months ago yeah i was just sitting around i was you know what you know i was fat and happy i'm not gonna lie to you and then i was kidnapped by colombian drug lords well actually by a group of venezuelan mercenaries who sold me to

colombian drug lords and And I got to say, after six months in captivity in a hillside mountain retreat in a jungle fortress, I look great. I look great. You know, rice and porridge goes. It'll take it off of you. My skin's never felt softer. So much, so much, so much. It's so soft. I feel great.

And so if your son happens to be It's so soft. I feel great. I feel great. And so if your son happens to be a millionaire, you get on and walk around the streets. You'll be kidnapped. And then hopefully they'll rescue you. Yeah. They asked her. Insist on a six-month stay. Insist.

Say, I need six months. It's like a spa. Think of it as a spa. It's like, oh, they're really strict here. That's all. But you will lose 50 pounds. You will. So he says, Uget, they ask him about it.

He said, it's hard to talk about. No shit, obviously. Oh, I'm sure. Rengifo said it was a clean and well-planned operation and that Villarreal is uninjured besides her malnutrition. They talk about that. She says that it was unexpected she said quote i never thought they would kidnap me and they said how they treat you she said quote you can't say they treated me either well or poorly the most hurtful thing was having to bear

them say that my son didn't love me because he wouldn't pay so they kept telling her that over and over like obviously your son doesn't love you i don't see any fucking money uh so uh he's uh when he gets his mom back he he kind of uh he doesn't talk to reporters he says i quote i'm happy excuse me but now i just want to see my mother so fair enough leave the fucking guy alone here it's over it's over he ends up sending his mother to uh europe to recover physically and mentally uh there's some family in europe that they have so she says he sends her there i i'm sure on like some french riviera yeah you know spa yeah treatment or some go more quiet sit somewhere nice and quiet and you know eat some food and relax here uh he says that uh you know he he doesn't want her to come back to v to Venezuela he wants her to stay in Europe but he

knows that she's going to insist on returning home to live because that's just how she is he says but she's going to be in Europe for a little while so I don't have to worry about her for right now at least so that makes me feel good so he right away sent her off to Europe packed up and ended up having to go back to the States

to go for spring training so he arrived at camp at 6 a.m. Same with the Tigers now? Yeah, had to go. So, yeah, he says that out of all of this, though, this makes Major League Baseball realize that they need to do something about this. Because they're like, okay, this is affecting our game. If these guys are constantly worried about their mothers being kidnapped, they're not going to play. Because they're like, okay, this is affecting our game. If these guys are constantly worried about their mothers being kidnapped,

they're not going to play well, and they're not going to be... Hard to think about CC Slider when you've got a family member sitting in fucking Bogota. That's what I mean. So what they do is baseball ended up hiring Rangifo, the head of the anti-kidnapping unit, on a part-time basis right after this rescue. Oh, he's just getting paid. Oh, yeah. He's a famous guy down there there now uh he was first a apparently a resident security agent based in venezuela i guess each

major league team they said has two resident security agents and then in 2008 renfigo was was hired as a full-time major league employee oh uh and member of the department of investigations of major league baseball so basically he's down there to make sure that nobody's fucking parents get kidnapped. And then in 2009, Carlos Zambrano's mother was kidnapped. Yeah, so he did a great job. You can't watch them all. Yeah, that's true. Sometimes, you know, if you watch Raising Arizona, some get out of your sight.

Sometimes there's too many. That's what I mean. They wander off. It's like ducklings. How many do we have? Eight? Nine? Shit.

Nine? We got most of them. The senior vice president of baseball's, the Department of Investigation, said that, quote, it was on our radar after the Arbina case. It wasn't a front burner issue. If you had asked me when the unit was formed in terms of priorities, we were concerned about kidnappings, but it wouldn't have been as high. It certainly is now.

So that makes sense here. They also said that for years, let's talk about this group. It's called FARC, F-A-R-C, Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia. In Spanish, it's FARC. I was like, they are wrong. Shit's in different order in Spanish, the way they say it. I realized after you said it that this is a different culture. It's completely different yes i don't even speak english or nothing man

it's totally different hot dog to be found fuck dude nothing not at all man so they said that for years venezuelan cattlemen near the colombian borders say that they were victims of extortion by this group of course and uh yeah this is the the their the venezuelan government's finally apparently recognizing that fark is responsible for these crimes in venezuela because before they'd be like oh no they're over there they're not bothering us and now they were forced to come out and say okay uh fine here so according to the colombians uh chiguero the leader there uh el chiguero chiguero of fark he was involved he was involved in the uh exchange of drugs by weapons with uh brazilian drug dealers and he he does all drugs and weapons all over the place here uh uh it's it's it's pretty

fucking crazy they said that uh the minister of justice said that this El Chiguero was one of the most dangerous fucking people that they found. It would be like they captured their Pablo Escobar of this little revolutionary group, basically. He's just a leader. And they also were wondering who he really was since they arrested him, this guy. They initially identified him as a genteel Elvis Patino, a guy with several aliases, and they ended up linking, they ended up leading the Colombian government on an investigation, and he ends up being identified as a completely different person by then than they originally thought that he was so he had a completely uh he apparently had he uh he had a former associate in colombia who he bought like uh you know documents from and shit like that you can't

do that in america no no no down there it's it's a it's a little bit different down there here uh his identity he was basically false he had false documents identifying him as a venezuelan citizen so he was going back and forth uh he said he paid he ended up paying about 4700 to get the documentation documentation to be a different person in another country so uh very fucking weird all authentic shit all authentic shit incredible by the way he still plays baseball wow who gets so he's got to go back and play baseball now for the tigers unbelievable which is super weird uh which he does he he play it's weird too he's not uh he has a 263 era for the first part of the year with the tigers which is not too shabby if you think about it nine pretty happy i mean yeah his mom just got

caught there just got caught just got returned right that's good but on june 8 2005 he's traded by the tigers who he's got this shit to deal with uh to the phillies he's traded with ramon martinez pedro's brother okay you ex-dodger a tall lanky one i don't know he's super tall and lanky and then pedro's tiny and chunky has pedro's face super weird okay not really kind of he had a nice jerry curl when he first came up i'll tell you that much both of them did yeah back in the early 90s there pedro was a big fan of it. Oh, yeah. He's traded to the Phillies for Placido Polanco. So, Placido Polanco. Placido Polanco.

Remember him? I don't know. Oh, he's called Placido. I never liked him. I don't blame you. Yeah, I never liked him. He was garbage. Garbage 240 hitter.

Fuck out of here. Garbage hitting second baseman. I can't see him. I don't know what he looks like. Anyway, he goes to the Phillies here, which is, I don't know, fresh start, I guess. Whatever. So he goes four and three in 56 games for the Phillies. So only one save, though.

He's a middle reliever here. 52.1 innings. So they bring him in in a very specific role here. He does make $4 million that year. Jesus. November 1, 2005, he's granted free agency, and that's the last time he'll pitch in the majors. We'll talk about why.

But over his career, 44 and 49, 345 ERA, which is not too shabby at all, 237 saves, not too bad at all there, pretty good good 697 innings and uh 539 hits and a world series ring that's excellent and a world series ring and he made about 29 million bucks in his career so real not too bad he did pretty well for himself god jesus made good and got his mother back from colombian revolutionary kidnappers from caracasacas. It's not too bad. Wow. He's doing well. November 8th, 2005. It was a week after he's granted free agency.

So you might be thinking, okay, where am I going to go next year type of thing? Well, before I get into this article, I want to say something quickly when we get into this. This article, okay, there's been a lot of time. I don't know if you guys probably don't pay attention but there's been so much talk lately in social media and in all sorts of places about pod certain podcasters uh plagiarizing and sometimes i get that their people steal like they'll take another podcast script yeah exactly that's great and just fucking copy it and and do the same episode that's that's obviously terrible uh or uh but that people are throwing around plagiarism really loosely using the word using the word yeah using the word just

like about something that it's not really defined as yeah just real fucking willy-nilly with the language and uh i want to i want to tell you something because when i when we do it then i'll tell you exactly how i do this shit, if I attribute or not. If it's a fact that is in every publication, it's everywhere, this person went to court on this day, he was found guilty, blah, blah, blah, you don't need to attribute that, because it's a wire article. It's a fucking AP article. It's put out in everything.

There's no author attributed to it. It's just information. It's just facts. It's just facts that's put on a thing that's for everybody, basically. That's how it works. Then you can use that and your shit to build your own article if you want to make more out of it.

So there's those articles. The ones that you have to attribute are either if it's a book or if it's an investigative piece where somebody went on their own and got that information specifically where no one else had it. Like we had a Daily News article like that,

and we say this is from the Daily News because they did a really good job of going in and getting information no one else had. Believe me, I looked for it. So you cite the work of the guy that took the AP article and went and wrote a fucking article. Well, yeah, he didn't. He just did his own article.

He didn't even cite the AP article. My point is he has those facts, and then he built the story around it. So let me talk about what we're going to talk about in a second here. I'll tell you where this comes from. And that's just different. Or if someone has particular prose in the beginning of an article about something, and they're saying something particular about the way they're setting the scene,

and you read that word for word, yeah, that's cheesy. But this article, it's an ESPN article. It's on ESPN.com, and at the top of it, it says, ESPN.com News Services. That's where it's from. No author. Then at the end of it, it says, quote, the Associated Press and Reuters contributed to this report.

How the fuck do you cite that? You don't. It's just a fucking wire article. That's what I'm saying. It's fucking enraging that people wire article that's what i'm saying it's fucking enraging that people will say that some people are plagiarizing when it's something like that that's not plagiarizing that's information that everybody has and guess what some of these fucking articles you know what they're doing they're just copying the court document for facts

and then pasting it on there with a quote from the DA or something. Then someone else will quote, like a podcast will quote court documents, and you'll say that we're fucking quoting the article. No, we're all quoting the source, which is the goddamn fucking court documents that don't belong to anybody. We all pay taxes to see that shit. Public information, you asshole. Yeah, as a reporter, it doesn't give you any fucking warrant or any any dominion over these court documents we all have equal say to them so

it's bullshit most people it's just the things that people call stealing are using calming and common information that's not reporting listen to the fucking shows and mind your own fucking business that's essentially taking a comic that has a premise another comic that has a premise and then saying and they're the same premise yeah different punch line then you say it's different it's a different thing it's it's it's it's saying that the premise of i have a kid right because that's a premise that yeah anybody can really use that premise that's fine when you say i have a kid that then it's yours that's the point you went and took it down your own fucking thing. What you're doing is

you're feeling super bad for like the New York Times or NBC or places like that. If anyone has a problem, they'll fucking sue. I promise. One thing giant media conglomerates really are good at

is fucking suing for copyright and suing for shit like that. They love to fucking do that. That's the reason they copyright they love it look at youtube so much shit's taken down based on these big networks they have a lot of power to do that they will sue let them worry about it yeah if if there is any plagiarism plagiarizing on them they'll fucking do it absolutely they don't need you no to fucking say anything about it that's my point okay sorry did did nbc put out a tweet saying hey

all podcast listeners please point out plagiarism i don't think they did i don't think anybody has i don't think they ever fucking asked for your help of lawyers that can't find the plagiarism podcast listeners please find it for us go on reddit and fucking collate the shit for me and put it in a fucking excel sheet as people are making Excel sheets, dude. I've seen them. They're fucking out of their minds. Unbelievable. Get a fucking life. Get a life. Yeah.

I'm not kidding. Honestly. Or at minimum, a goddamn job. Yes. If someone is stealing from a podcast that you like and they stole their whole script and they took it, then fuck yeah. Yeah. Call them out on it.

Rail on them. Because that podcast, the smaller podcast, isn't a giant media conglomerate with lawyers that'll sue. So then that might be the only recourse right but if it's a fucking giant thing they'll handle it if it's plagiarism otherwise they're just retelling the story that's it which is completely okay which is fine you're allowed to retell a common story especially if it comes from court and never mind so you get what i'm saying relax everybody so with that said uh this the violence here uh breaks out uh this night okay november 8th 2005 little bit of violence happening uh here this is uh about 25 miles south of caracas uh caracas urbina it's at urbina's house yeah it's one of his mother's houses that she keeps that he's down

there apparently here uh this is fucking interesting wow okay apparently a bunch of workers there uh showed up at the ranch and they were in the pool without permission uh they were quote bathing in the pool they keep saying i don't know if that's a way of just swimming yeah just in south america they aren't in there with soap no that's what i mean it wasn't like they're in there scrubbing their armpits with a big oversized brush you know what i mean like they're in a tub a little abner yeah exactly uh apparently uh uh urbina says that he yelled at them he quote spoke sharply to them yeah and then he then he went inside and went to sleep that's how it it went. But there's another story there. Apparently, there was a welcome home party for him.

He had come down there, Uget, and they all gave him a welcome home party. He went out to eat. He returned about 2 a.m. with several people out to his farmhouse here. It's the one his mother was kidnapped from. It's that one. It's that one. And according to one of the farm workers, basically Urbina started asking about a firearm that he thinks has disappeared from the house. And he accuses apparently this Ricardo Osal, a 21-year-old worker here. He says that Urbina started rounding up the other workers to ask them about this uh now five of these uh vinkler gallegos ricardo osal

mikhail uh and chenique and argenis fabreus tony rodriguez and bernardo navarros uh these guys here apparently uh urbina rounded them up and beat them then he attacked them with a machete oh boy and then him and his him and his coh cohorts splashed gasoline and paint thinner on them and began to set them on fire as they attacked them with machetes. They doused them. How do you, began to or they did? Well, they were. Okay. They were lighting them on fire.

They were, yeah, that was the beginning. They attacked them with machetes, started pouring paint thinner after they were beating them paint thinner and gasoline on them for one weapon and then lighting them on fire and then continuing to attack them with machetes and the guys they would light them on fire and then they would jump in the pool to put themselves out and then they would get out they'd pull them out and then they'd light them on fire again what this happened repeatedly uh allegedly apparent according to these people here. Gallegos had bruises on his face and ribs. Osal received 300 stitches to close

machete wounds on his back and 150 stitches to repair severed tendons in his hands from machete wounds. The Echenique guy here, he had minor injuries and several contusions. Farias had fractures in his nose and cheekbone.

Rodriguez had burns on his neck and his right ear as well as injuries to his face and eyes. He also suffered a knife cut on his right arm and a perforated eardrum. Navarro had burns on approximately 50% of his body. They fucking burned that man alive, man.

He survived it. He says, Osal says afterwards that Urbina told him that he was going to kill all of them and bury them underneath his ranch. And at that point, he left them all for dead and they were all bleeding on the ground. And he said that Urbina says as he walked away, quote, he'll be the first one we bury. He said to one of his cohorts here. The Rodriguez victim here, he recalls that after Urbina's friends were setting them on fire using gasoline and paint thinner, they were allowing them to jump into the pool to extinguish the flames and then get back out so they could set them on fire again. Because it's no fun to have them burning. It's only fun to set the fire, Jimmy.

Over and over and over. Yeah. Police were called to the ranch the next morning, and Urbina claimed he knew nothing of the event at all what happened he says i don't know what you're talking about he says that uh uh that uh all those guys that you're talking about they were all drinking since three o'clock in the afternoon the previous day and uh the story was coming from they're all extremely drunk so if they all fell down and set themselves on fire from being drunk, it's not my fault. I don't know anything about it. I went out there.

I yelled at them for being in the pool. And I went in and went to sleep. That's a hell of a story. I don't know shit. Yeah. They set themselves on fire and attacked each other with machetes. Caracan jackass. I don't know.

Yeah, that's what it was. It's a new show down here. They're doing it. They're jumping into fan blades and shit. You know, you just set each other on fire and then you jump in the pool. You see how many times a guy can be set on fire and extinguished. So they said he's got to appear before a judge here. His lawyer, Jose Luis Tamayo, Urbina's lawyer, says he was sleeping at the time.

He's not involved in any of this. He knows nothing of what happened. One of the victims, Farias, accused Urbina of being among the attackers. A bunch of them named him at that point. His lawyer, his defense lawyer, says, quote, this, of course, can some way hurt his career as a professional ballplayer. I would fucking think so. I would hope it would affect his career of anything. Anything.

Anything he does. If you've got a guy who machete attacks people and sets them on fire. I hope him as a baggage handler is fucking ruined. Yeah, let's not let him handle anybody's baggage. No, I want him touching my suitcase. He's going to always send it to Cleveland or Omaha, and it's going to be very depressing. My clothes will be depressed. Somehow my shirt will hang itself.

I don't know how it'll do it. See, that's a... It might be positive. Yeah, it could be positive. Either way. So, yeah, they said it'll depend on the way in which he's brought to justice. Now, Urbina was with his mother after this whole thing here, and he called the arrest inexplicable. He said, I don't know what they're talking about.

I can't believe this. Yeah, this is ridiculous. Tamayo, his lawyer, said, aside from whether a person is guilty of a crime or not, If there is no danger of flight or obstruction of justice, that person has a right to be tried while free. So he's saying that he shouldn't be held while he's being tried. The lawyer also said that Urbina's cooperated with everything.

He even came to the police voluntarily to give a statement. This is ridiculous. I don't understand it. So he says, let's do it in their own words here. What do you say? Let's do it in their own words here. What do you say? Let's do it in their own words on what he says from jail, which is interviewed from his jail cell.

Let's see what he says in their own words. Quote, I love my country, but here there are people that love money. It's every country. What do they what do they gain from this? They say that it was me so that they can get money. You understand these are people that live simply let's say so by them saying it was me they could somehow gain and take money from all of this i'm trying to find a solution to this problem and clear my name as much as possible so that people can see i had nothing to do with this problem so that says

i'm innocent damn okay i didn't do nothing i don't know that i believe you but okay yeah uh richard osal the one of the victims he said he's a guy who was burned over 50 of his body he said uh quote we want uh what we want is justice for him to pay with jail time he says we're not looking for any type of financial arrangement nothing that has anything to do with money we don't want them to offer us money and we're not asking for any money so okay he just wants him to go to jail that ruins his argument yeah uh philly's general manager pat gillick said released him in a nick of time and he did a jig they asked him about it and he said i don't know i heard about it but i have no reaction he's no longer a part of the philly's

organization have a good one goodbye click see ya fuck off we're looking to rebuild not my problem ask whoever's commissioner now because that's their fucking problem i don't know shit uh also in 2005 right after this happens ugeth jr moves to his mother uh moves with his mother to spain to get away from i'm sure being ugeth jr at this point because it's not a good look now in court uh he goes to court this goes to full trial yeah same as his last thing with the gun and all that sort of thing the verdict is you know you'd think he's rich down there too it's a he's guilty of attempted murder oh shit attempted murder also found guilty of illegal deprivation of liberty and violating a prohibition

against taking justice into your own hands that's a prohibition they literally have a law that says you will not take justice in your own hands if someone steals you can't go you know exact revenge you have to call the cops we it's called the law everywhere else we don't need a special law to say that you can't fucking be a vigilante in the streets we prohibit it yeah just by having the same laws there's a prohibition of it yeah it's fucking crazy so he's awaiting sentencing at this point he's uh sitting there and by the way i've seen there's the footage of that interview in jail he has a fucking ed hardy hat on no in fucking jail oh jesus you know how 2006 in a filthy uh filthy venezuelan prison this shit tiger and jewels in the tiger's mouth yeah and you knew

there was going to be cameras they probably put him in the best cell they had just so it didn't look so fucking bad he's sitting there it's a disaster they have bugs they have it's worse than tiger stadium basically it's worse than Tiger Stadium, basically. It's worse than Tiger Stadium. Imagine the stink. Imagine the toilet. Oh, Jesus. Do you think the plumbing's good in there, Jimmy? It's horrible.

It's probably horrible. And as a matter of fact, while he's in there, a man bursts into his cell door, and it's Paul Calhoun, shit pipe enthusiast. He's there to fix the pipes, and he says how is it you come to arrive here guy I gotta tell you in terms of literal and figurative shit pipes yours are as clogged as they get

pal I got people stealing your fucking mother what's that about I don't know maybe move to fucking Florida or something what do you say that guy maybe try that out for for a shot uh then you're jerking off with this the fuck are you doing machetes kick them off the fucking property what are you what's wrong with you huh what did they did they mess up your shit pipes did they flush a cherry bomb down the toilet because if they did that those fucking bastards deserved every fucking thing they got i'll tell you that but they didn't do that did they no no it's a propane tank it's a propane tank you know

what i'd say i'd say i'd you know clean your shit pipes or smack your wife but i have a feeling she's already got enough fucking problems now she took your kid to fucking europe i can't even how long are my arms i'm gonna smack her from fucking europe i can't do that perfect you're a piece of shit let me tell you something and i'm gonna clean you and then flush you how's that poof and a poof of shit pipes and toilet snakes and plungers he's gone yeah and who geth is very confused sure he's trying to put it together the english that he spoke he's not real good with it still so he's trying to go what the fuck did that guy just say he's scrambling through his venezuela into english dictionary or whatever so uh he's awaiting sentencing. March 28th, 2007 is sentencing here.

So he's about to be sentenced to a Venezuelan prison. Oh, Jesus. Which is not fucking great, let's just say. He's guilty. It's almost two years after it happened, too. It's a year and a half later, so he's already done that. His time's served. So they say you, sir, may fuck off 14 years.

Oh, Jesus. In a Venezuelan prison. Oh, sweet Jesus. That's a lot of years in a Venezuelan prison. That's what prohibition will get you. Yeah, that's. They prohibit it. They are not fucking around. Do not take justice into your own hands by attempting murder.

That was enough. Attempted murder is good. That's what he did. What justice did he take? Disturbing the peace? The guy stole from him. Oh, that's right. So he exacted a revenge.

Jesus. You have to tell people that rather than just say you can't fucking attempt to murder people. I think that's enough right there. His lawyer says, quote, the ruling was too severe. Urbina still denies any involvement in the violence. He said he was sleeping at the time of the attack. This is ridiculous. His lawyer said that Urbina surprised the workers.

The workers did not expect him there. They were in the pool without permission. Urbina just yelled at them and went to sleep. That's all there is. Attorney for the accusers said, quote, justice has been served. He indicated that his clients will seek damages in civil court of course they do it's like yeah well now fuck it if i can get some money i guess we will uh not bad one of the uh one of the uh lawyers for the victim said quote we think it is an excellent sentence the

victims consider this an important example that anyone with power influence and money is not above the law it's an example for the entire world, not just for Venezuela, that everyone is on equal ground when it comes to law and justice. So he says, there is an appeals process here in Venezuela and we're prepared to answer if they decide to take that route. Now the criminal case is concluded. We're prepared to take the case to the civil side and we will seek damages. The victims have gotten better,

but the psychological impact remains. Of course. So it's going to hang around for a while. It's going to be there a little bit here. He set me on fire. Yeah, and attacked me with a machete and said he'll bury me first. My tendons were cut. We know that.

Jesus. He had 450 stitches total, that guy. Oh, boy. The one guy. So 2009, Ugeth Jr., who had been moved to Spain with his mom, that one, he pitches in the Spanish minor leagues over there. Really? At CB Sant Boy at FC Barcelona and some other place here.

And in 2009, he pitched in the Major League Baseball European Academy. So it's kind of like a scouting thing for European talent over there. His fastball peaks out at 88 miles an hour there, which isn't terrible, but it's good enough to get him signed by the seattle mariners in 2011 uh yeah some scouts signed him there uh he was pitching in spain at the time he ends up in 2012 coming over and pitching for the for seattle's uh a bunch of rookie league teams he pitched for a rookie ball in a Arizona a couple years, in the Appalachian League for a year. Ends up pitching for four years in Seattle. Never makes it past the very rookie level.

Not even into double or triple A or anything like that. Pitched a total of 140 innings and had a.431 ERA. But when he was 17, his ERA was 244. And then by the time he's 20, it's up to 720. It spikes a bit. So there's a problem there. Yeah. And he ends up doing about that.

Now, 2010, Juan, his first son, begins playing for the Mets organization. Oh. Yeah. He plays four seasons for the Mets organization, never making it past A-ball. Okay. But both his kids got signed to play professional baseball. And so, not bad. More than I did. Yeah, they just didn't quite have

dad's fastball. That's the problem. That's the difference. You could want it as much as you want. Pitching is like comedy a lot. You can want it as much as you want, and you can outwork everybody. You can go out there every day and hit that fucking strike zone and do those open mics,

and you can do it. But if you don't have the talent to throw 98 miles an hour in the first place, it really doesn't fucking matter how accurate you throw the fucking ball and how much you practiced. You're still going to end up 50 working at a pizza joint doing open mics. The fucking gold is the gold, babe. That's it. That's it. You either got it or you don't.

And you know what? Yeah. work as hard as you want yeah so december of 2012 he's been in in his sentenced for five years been in about six and a half he's released from prison on a 14 year term fuck they release him super early it's very shady yeah uh the release because of quote good behavior they say during his time in prison he started three charitable organizations in an effort to rehabilitate his image we don't prohibit that hard that's it's so it's so strange that you can start charities from prison you don't hear that happening much i don't know if you're allowed to get tax exempt status from prison i don't know if that's possible to do. Super weird. They speculated,

the newspapers down there, that he said he keeps saying in interviews from prison that he's still in playing shape and he's going to try to make a comeback is what he says. The Leones del Caracas, his hometown Winter League team, their spokesman, Jose Manuel

Fernandez, said in an interview that he expected Urbina to visit several friends and former teammates, including Bobby Abreu, the former Yankee in Philly, at the stadium. And he thought Urbina had been spending some time with his family. And he said they don't know if he's serious about a comeback, but if he is, he would not be opposed to letting him throw a bullpen session for a chance to play next season. He said this is Uget's team in Venezuela. He understands that, but we don't know his plans. Remember, we're talking about someone who spent many years in jail. I'm sure his perspective has changed, but we'll see if he wants to play.

His former agent, Peter Greenberg, who at the time wasn't his agent while he was in prison, he said that he would be open to representing Uget again. He just attacked the guy with a machete and set them all on fire. No problem. Wow. There's money in it, though. it though let's have a talk hey let's have a chat fuck it it was down there so no one saw pictures of those guys never did anything in america it's not like he did it in a surveillance camera in an elevator in a hotel that would have been much different obviously then he would never be able to play again but lighting people on fire at the hotel pool he did it at a farm and 25 miles outside

of caracas no problem that's that's easy uh yeah so uh he says you know this will if he can pitch in venezuela will mean if he can pitch in the majors obviously and so uh obviously his image is a little fucked up at this point too he says he doesn't know if the fans would welcome him back obviously who how would you know? So the the the representative for the Venezuelan team said, quote, everyone knows. Everybody knows that fans are very demanding here in Venezuela, especially here in Caracas. We'll just have to see how he's received. So that's it. His son says, finally, with my father on a Twitter post here.

So he photo of him and his dad at a prison. It's all jacked here. Bobby Abreu said, quote, I'm very happy because my buddy is currently free. Anyone knows him well, knows his humanity regardless of the incident. I love and respect him a lot, regardless of attacking people with machetes and setting them on fire and that sort of thing. You know how that goes. And firing guns out his window. So the manager of the Caracas Venezuelan Winter League team said he would welcome Urbina

on the team. He said he's already paid his debt to society. This is his home. Our doors are open to Uget Urbina. He is a lion. Okay. A lion. I don't know what that means.

He's a fucking lion. Yeah. He's a fighter. Charlie Sheen said he had tiger blood. I don't think it's positive to have feline. No. Well, he's a fucking lion yeah he's a fighter uh i mean sheen said he had tiger blood i don't think it's positive to have feline no well he's got lion blood apparently and it makes you is that better is that a better adonis i never heard of sheen attacking anybody with a machete so maybe that's possible who knows i mean that's because if he slips and cuts himself then they have aids that's the truth yeah no one wants none of his buddies are like hey charlie put the

machete down you work the gas the paint thinner how's that you work the gas and the paints the thinner charlie we'll we'll do the bladed objects super soaker full of unleaded that's perfect yeah we'll stay you can keep about 20 feet back from sharp things so uh i mean jesus christ his family his kids i mean they they must that must be shitty to be them at this point. And his mom got kidnapped. I mean, there's a lot of people to feel bad for here, Jimmy. And I feel bad for all these people. But not nearly as bad as I feel. No, there's no other who got their beans.

I'm sorry. I just wanted to see the look on your face as you went. No fucking way. No, there isn't. I looked hard and far and wide. There might be one in like the jungles of Venezuela somewhere, but I can't find it. Somebody named after him that's not old enough to break the law yet. Exactly.

That's what it is. So 2012, he's pitching again. Okay. December of 2012, he returned. This is like a week after he gets out of jail. He's pitching. He's served seven years for attempted murder, obviously. He goes to play for the Lions of Caracas.

That's why he's a lion. They're the Lions. Got it. He's a lion. Yeah, yeah. He's one of, okay, never mind. He's sticking with us because we're the Lions. We're the Lions and he's one too.

He's a Raider. He's a Bronco. Yeah. Urbina. He throws on a lion's hat. That's right there. He described himself as more mature now outside of prison because he's also in his late 30s, which will make you more mature.

He says he's very excited to play baseball again. He said, quote, I'm excited to be here. Can't wait. So good for him. It's amazing that he got out. That's fucking wild. He says that he would like to play Major League Baseball again. He says, quote, the first order of business is pitching in Venezuela.

He pitched a scoreless sixth inning on his first shot back there, striking out one and walking one. So steps right in just fine in his first game for Venezuela. 2013, he sold his condo. He had a condo in Florida, Sunny Isles Beach, Florida. It was a 3945 square foot unit in Ocean 3 condo complex or whatever. He bought it for $1.22

million in 2003 when he moved to Florida there. He ended up keeping it and he sold the condo in 2013 for $1.9 million. He made almost $700,000 on the process there. It matured while he was in prison.

Very nice. It matured like he did. Yeah, it matured along with my real estate. So he called it a delayed bonus from his time in Miami, basically. It was a $700,000 fucking bonus from the team. And right now, he's sitting in venezuela trying not to get kidnapped guarding himself with paint thinner and a machete and uh can't get enough of who get urbina you can go on there's all sorts of memorabilia shit i found an amazon

19 on amazon.com 1998 stadium club card for like a dollar 325 shipping if you want a card then i found uh gray flannel auctions.com and that's gray with an E, like the British one. It's a game-worn Expos jersey for 97, which is pretty cool. I can't tell the price because the website was being all funky with me, but it exists and it's there. Okay. And if you really want to be- It's a World Series champ.

Yeah. If you want a road Expos 97 jersey of a World Series champ who also sets people on fire. It's kind of cool. After he attacks them with a machete. For no fucking reason. For no reason, this is your guy. For a possible missing firearm. And he was drunk, so he could have just put it somewhere and forgot.

Oh, he misplaced it for sure. None of the guys, they never said that the gun was ever recovered for any of these people. They never had it. They never had it. He just freaked out and wanted to show off in front of his friends or some shit. But that's Uget Urbina. That is crime in sports. Insanity,

as you might be able to tell. What a story. What a fucking mess, right? Jesus Christ. He was the rags to riches fucking hero of the country. And then he just says, you know what I'm going to do?

I think I'm going to fuck everything up. I think that, fuck prohibition. Yeah, never mind. I'm going to do? I think I'm going to fuck everything up. I think that, fuck prohibition. Yeah, never mind. I like taking justice in my own hands. I feel like doing today. I woke up. I was going to go out for breakfast, but then I said, you know what?

I can go out for later. I'll go out for lunch, maybe brunch, but for now I'm going to take justice into my own hands, I think, first. I know it's against the law, but I'm going to do it anyway. I know it's prohibited. It's fine. I'll do it anyway. So that is crime in sports.

Wow. And if you like that, tell us about it by going over to Apple Podcasts, iTunes, whatever that purple goddamn icon is, and writing us a review. Give us five stars. It doesn't matter what you say. No. Say you're following instructions, following directions. It really doesn't matter.

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both of those right from uh shut up and give me murder.com that's the one it's all there guys it's all there and with that It's all there. And with that said, you know what? I've been waiting two hours now and I can't wait anymore. Tell me the group of people who I'm going to love and dream about

and say prayers about, even though I don't pray. Tell me who they are, Jimmy. I want to know now. This week's executive producers are Siobhan Brogan, Yvette Moore, Chris Borland, yes,

Lisa Cooper, Ellie Kamek. She's the one in Texas. She upped her donation quite a bit. Thank you, Ellie. Jesus, thank you so much. Holly McKee and Susan Deguia. Yeah. And then other producers this week are Lindsay Trogdon, who was donated in her name.

So thank you, guys. Appreciate that. Liz Nice Slice Smith, Erica Anderson, Amanda Davis, Pee Low, Peyton Meadows, Carissa Lindquist, Erica Anderson, I said that. Shane, with no last name, Gary Duckdale, Alyssa Woodwick, Aaron B., that's her last name. Pete. Roland Mitchell Ring. Haley Wehe. Why he? Travis Tim. Robin Brown-Gallaghan. Tara Jenkins. Elizabeth with no last name.

Sharon Carter. Gina Vanda Zandesloop. Yes. Jenna Vandesloop. Okay. Cameron Wood. Pam Vallieri. Vallieri?

Yep. Robert Sackett. TBA 9363. Okay be announced okay sounds good christina webb thank you uh alex browning joy pearson sierra 40 ford ford's ford ford e i think it's an e i don't know what i wrote ford with an e i think so okay brendan ables uh carrie carrie gage uh cleo mcallister james birchio chandel elizabeth papil uh erica geisler uh jason hamming tara nussbaum uh liz nelson sally norris uh audrey martin martin newsy uh amy conley derrick voth eve fry greg uh greg gottlieb donated both ways thank you greg uh david barnhart uh jamie malichi ben christ uh timothy timothy sparkling sherry Fry, Greg Gottlieb donated both ways. Thank you, Greg. David Barnhart, Jamie

Malichi, Ben Kreis, Timothy Sparling, Sherry Sammons, Kayla Marquart, Alicia Massey, Ashley Furman, Joe Moran, Robin Anderson. I think I said that. Thank you. I think she donated twice. No, it's a different

Anderson. Never mind. We appreciate all the Andersons here. Anjanette Mazluski. Anjan thank you. No, it's a different Anderson. Never mind. We appreciate all the Andersons here. Anjanette, Anjanette Mazluski. Anjanette, Anjanette? That's a tough name when they give you the same name twice. Anjanette, Anjanette. And then a long last name, too. Shelby Graham, Jill Osborne, Isla Vainel, Tina Prussey, Jeremy Binder, Ashlyn Riggits, Jilly Ann Osborne, Frances Hitzke.

She's in Europe. Oh, thank you. She is fantastic. She went to CrimeCon. She's all into this crime stuff. Damn, thank you. Thank you, Frances. Mariah Jensen, yeah.

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Or Moran. One of the two. Emily. Emily. Thibault. See, it's E-M-I-L-E-E. That's why it fucked me. Emily.

Yeah, that's Emily, though. Thibault. That's an Emily. Destiny Turner. Sierra Plotz. Celinda. Celinda. Celinda Calling.

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Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Thank you so much. Appreciate that. I remember that story. Thank you. Cleo McAllister. Rachel Kaskaden.

Both ways. She donated. Thank you. Thank you. Paul Hopkins. Home stretch. Here we go. Veronica Kelly.

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It's something out there. Find it. Emily Warwick, Emily Tincher, Laura LaFernier, I think, Lonnie Hall, Kelly Wilson, Jenna Strong, and happy birthday to Amber from Jenna. Cool. Happy birthday, Amber. There you go. Liz Vasquez.

Thanks for coming out, Liz. Yeah, good to see you, Liz. Thank you. Aaron Davis. Brittany Hart. Lauren Demerath. Louise Rayfield. Raisaev Sergei.

Anthony Cannella. Jesse Hartman. And all of our Patreon supporters. You guys are the fucking best. Thank you, everybody, for everything you do we are just blown away by all the support you guys give us it's really wild and uh thank you for for spreading the crime and sports word also uh it's been it's been going up lately because you guys have been spreading the word and we can't thank you enough for that that means the world to us that's the best way to get people to listen to podcasts yeah it's hard to advertise to get people to listen to podcasts.

Yeah. It's hard to advertise for a podcast because you don't know who listens to them and stuff. But if you have friends... They trust the people that like what they like. If you have friends, if you know people that you think they might like this and you think that,

tell them about it. Point them in the right direction. Absolutely. Look at these guys. Grab their phone. Yeah. Go to their podcast app. Fucking subscribe to them.

There you go. They might not do it, but if you subscribe to it and they see it pop up, they might go, oh, I remember. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe I'll listen. Bob over there put that in my phone. Shit, man. I'd like to hear them make fun of Tonya Harding.

I remember Jake the Snake Roberts. And then it happens. So it's good stuff. What if somebody wanted to grab your phone and find you? How would they find you, Jimmy? You can find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N-S-U-C-K-S, on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. And I like everything that you guys send me, everything that you get.

All the cases that you want to send, just send them to the email. Yeah, send them to CrimeAndSports.gmail.com. I can jot them down and bring them to James, and he'll lose the paper, or he probably won't be able to read my writing. That's what'll happen. We'll figure it out.

So send it to the email. Where can they find you? You can find me at JimmyPIsFunny, or you can just copy and paste my name from the show description and to whatever search engine you're looking for and you can find me that way because it's probably easier than trying to copy and paste and spell and all that shit so with that said guys thank you for joining us again we're super excited we can't wait to come back every goddamn week live from the crime and sports studios we will see you next week Excited. We can't wait to come back every goddamn week live from the Crime and Sports Studios. We will see you next week. Bye. You can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts.

Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from Smartless Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you've learned that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink rollercoaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link,

careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, How the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.