Crime in Sports - #183 - A Cop Punching, Face Slashing Good Time - The Derangedness of Kelly Petillo

Episode Date: November 12, 2019

This week, we fire up the engines to bring you one of the wildest, craziest people in the history of the show. He was a dare devil & race car driver from the days before they even wore helmets. He was an Indianapolis 500 winner, cementing his place his racing history. This all seemed to go to his head, as after that he seemed to think it was okay attack police officers (multiple times), shoot at service men, home from WWII, attack women (multiple times), sometimes with a knife, among other insanities! This is the craziest story that you've never heard! It's Kelly Petillo!! Win racing's biggest prize, punch every cop who tries to arrest you, and attack seemingly every woman you meet with Kelly Petillo!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Looking for inspiration? Craving something new? When you visit Audible, there are endless ways to ignite your imagination. With over 750,000 titles, including bestsellers, there's a listen for every type of listener. Discover all the best in audiobooks, podcasts, and originals featuring authentic Canadian voices and celebrity talent like Brendan Fraser and Luke Kirby's latest sci-fi adventure, The Downloaded.

A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. Each week on the Mr. Ballin Podcast, now available wherever you get your podcasts, you'll hear strange, dark, and mysterious stories about inexplicable encounters, shocking disappearances, true crime cases, and everything in between. So go listen to Mr. Ballin Podcast, Strange, Dark, and Mysterious Stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Oh my goodness, you have no idea how tenuous this episode was, how precariously this thing was hung by a thread. We are officially starting, hitting record here and starting at 12.27 a.m. So you're going to get punchy James and Jimmy today is what you're going to get. Punchy Crime and Sports. I don you're going to get. Punchy crime and sports. I don't know whether to be angry or thankful. It's travel disasters. But we're getting an episode out.

We don't care. No. Thank you guys so much. Thanks for everything you've done for us this week, first of all. If you haven't done it yet, all the people who have done it, thank you for your reviews on Apple Podcasts. You're amazing. They really, really help a lot. We don't know why.

We have no idea why. But for some reason, those reviews help a lot. Give don't know why. Yeah. We have no idea why. But for some reason, those reviews help a lot. Give us five stars. It doesn't matter what you say. Say, you know, they made us do this. Right.

We're following instructions. It doesn't matter. It's just, it's not for our egos. It's for business purposes. I think you can do it on Stitcher, too. So if you listen on Stitcher,

do it there. Wherever you can review, review. It helps a lot. Also, go to shutupandgivememurder.com for everything crime and sports and small town murder related and if you're not listening to small town murder what's wrong

with you you're missing a boat here like a it's a beautiful boat with lots of good food on it and stuff going on it's a it's a fun boat and you're just like nah i'm gonna sit here it's like a rotting dock it's like i don't feel like it it's it's a you're missing a party damn it get on that go listen to small town murder right now but not actually when you're done with this episode though because this is one of the craziest episodes oh great by the way it's it's a wild harrowing tale of insanity death defying does not even start to begin to to tell you about this well that'll keep me awake oh it's you're going to be awake through this. Both of us, it's going to be awake just through the story itself. Great.

This insane, insane, insane story. Also, if you want to be one of our heroes, oh, shut up and give me murder.com, by the way. See, this is what happens when we're punchy. Right. Almost forgot. Get all your merchandise there. Do it.

Tons of new stuff up there. Also, tickets to the one live show that's for sale right now. By the way, we're supposed to be this week getting our slate of 2020 shows. Awesome. So we'll be able to announce to you very soon's for sale right now. By the way, we're supposed to be this week getting our slate of 2020 shows. Awesome. So we'll be able to announce to you very soon in the next couple weeks.

But the one show, April 8th at Zaney's in Nashville, Crime and Sports Live, still has, I think there's like 20 tickets left. So get your tickets right now and let's get that thing sold out. Everything else,

all the small town murders are sold out for the rest of the year. You guys are unbelievable. You guys are awesome. Thank you for everything you do. And if you've heard heard if you went on social media and heard any of the people who went to the phoenix show crime and sports live is insane it's a blast you want to be there you want to be it's crime and sports with the you turn to 10 and then the knob broke off like an old radio set break off the knob and that's like a shitty old like a shitty old radio station.

Look at a family guy that would do that. Turn it up and break the knob off. It's an imitation of some shitty, cheesy radio. W-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-A-M. This morning radio, turn it up and break the knob off. W-Z-M. One of those. Imagine if we had to do that. Imagine if we had to do like a goofy.

Fuck that. We'd be this tired, except we'd have to not say fuck that. That'd be a problem. I don't know how those people do that. I don't know either. But also, if you want to be one of our producers, you can do that very easily. One of the people who we gush about at the end of the show. Keep us from doing that.

Yeah, keep us from doing that. Thank you for that. That keeps us from being not a morning zoo. Right. We appreciate it. You guys, you can become one of these fine people over at patreon.com slash crimeinsports or head over to PayPal if you want to make a one-time donation using our email address, crimeinsports at gmail.com.

And you can get to both of those right from our handy dandy site, shutupandgivememurder.com. And honestly, every dime is so appreciated. And you're the reason why we'll sit here at 1227 a.m. and go, I guess we're recording this now. Without you, who gives a shit? That's the thing, yeah. We can push sponsors off another week or whatever, but we feel bad not giving you guys an episode. So you're getting an episode, damn it,

and you're getting one of the craziest episodes we've ever had. And it might be, I didn't look it up, I can't remember if it's him or Leslie Hylton is the oldest, the farthest back we've ever gone. Oh, cool. But he might be born earliest of anybody else in crime and sports history here. He definitely has.

He has three firsts that he pulls off this guy. Three crime and sports history firsts, this man. So it's a man. It's a wild one. Buckle up. It's appropriate. He's a race car driver, so it's appropriate. Are those available in this time? That's the thing really no this is before safety precautions this is when people

like multiple people died in every race and it was like well i mean what do you expect that's of course they're gonna die i don't know it's insane the heartless side of me makes that makes that more fun it's that's you know what i mean that's the thing well they knew the fucking rest these people were nuts too they were all crazy let's talk about it the guy's named cavino michelle patillo cavino is his first name cavino c-a-v-i-n-o michelle patillo goes by kelly patillo that's what everybody knows him as well uh but he's born in 1903 so back then you want to de-italianize that as much as you possibly can as well you want to let's let, let's anglicize that a drop. What do you say there, chief?

You know, it's just not really good for back then. And that's the funny thing, too. You get the word that the Olive Garden will use as a pasta dish. Yeah. The fuck out of your name. All you can eat Covino. All you can eat baked, stuffed regatta Covino. That's, you know, that's yeah.

Comes with unlimited salad and bread. You eat that and you break the knob off. So how you do it? God damn it. So Kelly, but it's funny to this guy. Back then. Now, nobody. Italians pretty.

You know, everybody eats pizza all the time and people like eat our food. Everybody's seen the movies and pretty much in American culture at this point. But in the early 1900s, we were still definitely an other type of thing. In every single article about him, it starts out the and some adjective like he's kind of chunky, chunky. So they like most of the time will be like the doughy Italian. But like he's not born in Italy. He's born in Pittsburghittsburgh but he's the doughy italian they call him the italian the italian from los angeles like it always it's insane it's weird as shit it's just

funny back then i mean i mean they didn't call him the n-word in the paper so it's better than if he was black probably but still it's not great it's not terrific we did find out the origin of dago this we did we actually did that was good because there's just tattoo parlors dago tattoos in texas like what the fuck with a z right fuck you man yeah we were like which one is worse dago or wop because wop is just yeah pronouncing uh the acronym on something dago felt a little more angry usually go usually go together, though. It's you, Wap, Guinea, Dago, Bastard. It's a whole, it flows, yeah.

With Bastard on the end, that's when you know it's the insult. It can throw other ones in there, too. There's a bunch of other ones in there. Well, we found out that it's essentially the same as calling every Mexican guy Diego. Yeah. Because that's a Mexican guy's name. Dago, it translates to James. It's extra. It's extra. that's a mexican guy's name it translates to james it's extra it's extra it's a right it's a direct insult i was like i feel like dago is more

insulting not just an insult to the people especially a guinea named james especially him whoever does whoever loves that word thanks my co-pilot. That's right. Back then, too. That's amazing. It's true, too. We looked it up driving through Texas because there's not a lot else to do driving through Texas. Except get speeding tickets. Apparently. False speeding tickets from Speed Junk.

We're not going to talk about the speeding tickets. Fucking jerks. Because we'll talk about that at live shows this year. That's fine. We have plenty to discuss there. Back then, it's funny if you look at like articles about joe dimaggio when he first came up in the late 30s like there's an article in life magazine about him it's a famous article where it's the funniest thing i mean to me

it's funny i'm sure there's old italians are probably insulted by it but to me whatever and it's like you know he you know you would think that he likes this but he actually likes Chinese food and he doesn't even smell like garlic. That's literally like the end of the first paragraph. And he doesn't even smell like garlic. Like, isn't that amazing? He's a filthy Guinea and he doesn't even smell like garlic. No lasagna in his pocket. He doesn't even have the dried pasta in his pocket that we've discussed in multiple episodes when they came over.

They were like, empty your pockets. They're like, what happened? Oh, my goodness. He was Italian, and he was not sucking a muscle. Yeah, they're looking at him. They're like, oh, boy. He's, I don't know. He's greasy.

I know that much. Tavis pockets. Is it hard? Is it crunchy? So, Kelly Petillo here. Born December 5th, 1903. So, wait. I mean, Jesus.

I don't remember. I think Hilton may maybe 1901 or something but it's it's right up there for all this born in pittsburgh pennsylvania which back then is one of the places italians used to go when we were first getting here back then was uh because there was work in factories and mines and shit like that so pennsylvania was a lot of italians all across pennsylvania blue collar shit oh absolutely. All throughout even rural Pennsylvania. In Scranton and places like that, full of Italians. Just tons of them.

And that's very common. So he's born then. His parents are from Italy. Obviously, they came here. It's Luigi and Rosie Petillo. Get the fuck out of here. I don't know. Luigi's his father's real name.

And his mom's name is Rosie. Rosie. It's a Luigi and a Rosie. They come on over. They go to Pittsburgh. Oh, it's so nice. Oh, it's so nice. Oh, it's so nice. They're going to root for the Bruno San Martino in about 70 years.

It's going to be so nice. It's so stereotypical. Oh, it's a very stereotypical. This is incredible. Yeah, this is the stereotypical story. This is where we say stereotypes are. I don't like it when people are like, it's a stereotype. Yeah, but a lot of times true for reasons.

That's why they became a stereotype. Not always. Some things you can trace back origins and you're like, oh, it's a stereotype. Yeah, there are a lot of times true for reasons. That's why they became a stereotype. Not always. No. Some things you can trace back origins and you're like, oh, that's ridiculous, obviously. So whatever. But some things are fucking true.

Right. And there are... Super goddamn true. Italian people named Luigi who came over and had kids in Pittsburgh and then moved to California to establish a grocery store.

Wow. That's what they did when young Covino was little here. They moved to California out west and out west in 19, early 19, you know, 1910. Yeah. That is the wild west. Oh, boy. That's still the wild west.

Wyatt Earp is still alive. Absolutely. Put it that way. And he lived in L.A. at that time. That's what I mean. That's crazy. You could literally run into Wyatt Earp. At your grocery

store at the grocery store we're talking a car driving by be like hey look at that yeah that's the time period literally like holy shit wow cool one of those again oh yeah whoa look at that he might actually pop in and buy something from your store that's what i mean he needs of water you see a car go by and he go it doesn't even shit that doesn't shit as it goes wow that's cool that's fucking awesome man my horse shit's all over the place i gotta get one of those so you're talking about a different time a time when italian people moved to uh to compton because that's where they that's where they set up their grocery store where they lived was in compton unreal in uh in la there so that's uh i think it still exists no in the building uh

no i'm sure it was burned down in a riot at some point i assume i don't know reginald denny was after in the fucking red aisle after koreans took it over 50 years ago yeah when the italians moved out or something i don't know what happens here that's that's how the that's how things work apparently some bricks through the window for sure italians are always the it's weird they're the like uh uh they're the minority bellwether not that they're minorities but they're the minority for bellwethers and back then they're the bellwether of the minorities basically of back then okay okay they're the uh they're the canary in the coal mine wherever they go yeah that's where minorities after them come.

Okay. You know what I'm saying? Like, Spanish Harlem used to be Italian Harlem. Okay. And then Italians moved out, and everyone came from Puerto Rico and the Dominican. And they moved in there. And that's how it worked. Like, the Bronx, Italian neighborhoods that were Italian neighborhoods are now other ethnicities' neighborhoods.

That's how it worked. Wherever they came first, they were like the first ethnic kind of... Not the first, because there was Jewish people here. There was just less numbers of them. Right, neighbors. That's how it worked. Wherever they came first, they were like the first, they were like the first ethnic kind of, not the first, because there was Jewish people here. There was just less numbers of them. There was just the first of mass quantities in a specific area. And we're not talking about Germans and Irish,

because if you're German and Irish and if you can speak English, you kind of, I know there was a lot of anti-Irish shit like that, but you could fucking pass. If your fucking name is Luigi and you are olive skin and shit, you weren't, people are going to go, you dirty fucking Guinea.

You weren't going to pass for shit. You know what I'm saying? Like you were going to be, you're fucking Italian. Look at you. You're walking a fucking donkey. There's a goddamn monkey running around. You're wearing one of those fucking hats. You're a fucking Guinea.

I see it in your face. So yeah, but they would come in, and then whenever they would move out, that's when they'd be followed. So that happened in every city, every major city there is. That's how it used to be, yeah. That's why Little Italy is always in the middle of shit

that has nothing to do with no Italian people, because that's where the Italian neighborhood was, and then it's shrunk down to one street with, like, three bakeries and a fucking Italian restaurant and a store that sells like flags and, you know, your mother t-shirts. Italian restaurant isn't isn't even that good anymore. No, no, no, no, no. It's not. It's owned by Koreans.

So it's not going to be original recipes. It's lost. It's very different. So it's interesting. Now, he got his his name. Kelly finally was's lost in translation. It's very different. So it's interesting. Now he got his, his name. Kelly finally was, he was in school in LA and a school teacher was pronouncing his name and his name is Michele is his middle name. And he pronounced it.

Me. Kelly was how the school teacher pronounced it. So that's how I got to Kelly. Got it. And people just started calling him Kelly because it sounded easier than Covinovino right there's no other kids named covino running around probably so uh he ended up just taking it and saying fuck it my name's kelly i guess so much easier it's easier and he felt probably a little less yeah uh you know crazy with it trust me those names i dodged a bullet man i dodged a bullet my parents told I dodged a bullet. My parents told me they actually, I know my father listens to it.

You know this fucking happened. You've told me about it. They actually, I don't know how briefly. I don't think this was like, the pen wasn't hovering over the birth certificate or anything. Super close to landing on Dago? It was almost Dago Wapkini. Faster. Petrogali Luigi.

It was almost my name. That was Petrogali. It was almost my name that was petrogala it was almost enough my name they actually for a brief moment considered well both of their grandfather's names and they which would have been gaitano biagio petrogala which no just fuck no god no gaitano gaitano biagio petrogala can you imagine that? I wish. For the love of Christ. Thank you, parents, for coming to your senses and not fucking naming me Guy Tano, Biagio, Petrogallo.

Three names ending in O? I have to become a plumber and save the princess. I have no choice at that point, right? There's no choice in the matter. I have to put on overalls and say, where is she around with a plunger just smack people where is she where is she where's the fucking dragon as i beat people with a plunger what are you talking about where's the turtle dragon thing with the spikes and shit fine give me the all you can eat coino. Can't take it anymore.

You can put any form of meat in front of that word. Oh, yeah. Try the chicken Covino. It's a lobster Covino. It's in a light... I can see it. You can see it in a light, you know... It's all got...

It's a pink sauce. Yeah. A lobster Covino is a pink sauce, so it's like gnocchi. It's got a linguine yeah oh absolutely what are we talking about here al dente

not real dente what are we gonna do here are we gonna be mushy are we gonna be a pile of mush now just a pile of fucking mush with pink sauce on it I don't think so we'll put clams in it

if you want I figure yeah you can put clams on it I mean it's optional I like a fra diavolo covino that's what I like I say spice it up for me

let me get the fra diav fra diav my covino that's what i like i say spice it up for me let me get the fra diav fra diav my covino please every fucking time guarantee you there's an italian restaurant with that as a dish somewhere in this country absolutely there is a fra diavolo stuffed covino that you can order if there is it means nothing somebody take a picture and some asshole in nebr Nebraska will order it. Yeah, at Crime and Sports and all of that. That's Small Time Murder on Instagram. Send it to us because that's amazing.

You got to try the Covino. You got to try the Covino. The house specialty. It's the house specialty. Ridiculous. So Kelly learned how to drive while working for his family's business. Kelly learned how to drive while working for his family's business. He would drive the fruit truck back and forth over the San Gabriel Mountains from Fresno to get the fruit and back to the grocery store.

So he would drive. We're talking. Fresno to L.A.? Fresno to L.A. And we're talking. Before fucking freeways. We're talking 1920. Oh, Jesus.

We're talking before the roads were good, before cars had good suspension. This is a fucking fruit truck. This isn't a Cadillac. You know what I mean? This isn't Al Capone's flatbed. This is a goddamn. Wow. You're feeling every bump hard.

Like this is. And he would drive like a maniac. And everybody like in town was terrified of this fucking crazy kid in the goddamn fruit truck. He drove like a fucking lunatic. And he's a this guy has no fear whatsoever whatever that fear thing is that people have where your adrenaline goes on he's just like that's fine he just puts it goes faster as long as he's behind the wheel

he's okay totally fine or anything he's just a crazy son of a bitch he's okay with it as long as he's the one controlling yeah he's good he's like when they talk to uh the ice man the the murderer as you know we've all know who the ice man if you don't know who the ice man is go look up the ice man klinsky is one of the most yeah richard kuklinski and look up the interviews with him and everything they're all on youtube you can watch him it's insane but uh they talk about him like they tell him that like at the end when he talks to park deets he actually says what's wrong with me what what do you think about me now that you've talked to me and all that what do you get out of what do you get and park deets says well i think you imagine if he was just honest imagine if he was just like oh you're fucking maniac are you kidding me have you listened to yourself for the

last word sociopath holy hell you are the probably the most fucked up person i've ever talked to and i'm a doctor i have gray hair i've been doing this a lot like they call me and when people are super fucked up you're the worst sir so is that good or do you want like specifics do you remember uh eight hours ago when you told me you'd tie two cats tails together yeah i that right there you should know you're fucked up sir with the means you could be hitler right you could do it you just didn't have an army of people you wanted yeah you just didn't have a war to make you a thing and a you know propel you didn't have all that stuff

otherwise so you did it you tied two cats tails together and then it got worse yeah how does it get worse from there i tell oh man you figured it out but you did over and over again i mean it's been hours how many uh how many days have i been here i'm at the hotel i keep coming back i've eaten everything for room service that there is it's crazier and crazier so the first visit well park deets tells him look you have this thing of fearlessness where he said you have a thing that certain people have where they just don't get scared rather than their body getting tense and whatever they get calmer it's just a weird thing that's a great job for like fighter pilots yeah they're great to trait to have for like he said you know you could have been a fighter pilot you could have been yeah fucking crazy things the

guys that jump out of planes to fight fires and shit like that that's just you know you know hero work yeah crazy shit that people go whoa how the fuck do you do that they're just like yeah you just jump out of the fucking plane that's cool yeah you feel like it feels great that's they don't even think about i could die there's a certain narcissism to that too which fighter pilots again they weed out the people they used to back in the day when they needed like test pilots you have to weed out the people who are are rational yeah because they're not going to do crazy shit that you ask of them courage under fire you have to have a guy who's like i'll fly right through that they're never going to hit me i know there's missiles but they're not going to hit me i'm me what are you talking about that's the guy you said the missus at all yeah that's the guy you send in there because

he's the only one who'll fly into a missile right everyone else will turn around and see a fucking missile. So that's kind of what he has, this Covino guy. And it comes out in his everyday life. On the racetrack, I mean, it's dangerous, but it's terrific, but not really that great in everyday life

when you're just trying to go about your business. Everybody said he's a very rough kid. He fights a lot. He's always scrapping in the streets and driving his fruit truck like a lunatic. And he's kind of just like the terror of the neighborhood. And he's like a short little chubby motherfucker, too.

But he's crazy. And we'll talk about him later on here. So he's also known. He has another nickname when he's a kid. He's known as Kelly the Shiv Patillo. The Shiv. Does he know what that is? Yeah.

Everyone does. That's why he's known as it but that means he carries a fucking knife around he's a tough motherfucker because he's got a fruit truck yeah i cut shit open hey you gotta have a fruit knife like my grandmother she cut she carried that the guy knife the man she threatened to kill cut cut his balls off we said why did you have a knife and she said said, for my apples. Why else? Okay. But this isn't for apples. He's Kelly the Shiv Petillo. He's got a tough 1920 street name, which is awesome to me. That's really cool. Everybody thought he was just nothing.

He was going to be in prison. And he was that kid like, oh, no one go near that crazy Petillo kid here. But he started racing racing and that was the that was the difference yeah that's what saved him was racing because without racing he would have been he would have been in prison earlier than he ends up in later on here 1924 he gets married 1924 think about that no to a woman named valentina yep valentina luigi must have loved that oh it's a valentina oh my daughter-in-law's luigi and a valentina it nah valentina luigi must have loved that oh it's a valentina oh my daughter-in-law it's a luigi and a valentina it's very nice he's very very happy unbelievable no

1927 he does the this is the first time anyone ever did this in the crime and sports chronology uh he named he has a son yeah and he names him kelly jr cavino whatever he names him his foot he names him jr though this is the first time first time the first criminal athlete that we've ever covered to ever name their kid jr that's a first right now he set the i mean we haven't done until episode 183 but he set the stage damn it it doesn't matter in 1927 in the universe it's laid out he's the first crime and sports athlete to name their kid jr so he set the stage. Damn it. It doesn't matter. In 1927. In the universe, it's laid out. He's the first crime and sports athlete to name their kid Junior. So he's the first to break this fucking rule.

Okay. And he, oh boy, does he follow right down the path of that. Now he does, he starts racing. He wins a Bakersfield to LA endurance race. Okay. So in 1929, he wins that.'s the 101 i think is that freeway i guess i the right don't think it was 405 i think is what it is but that's probably that route then

it was probably a dirt road right or like a two-lane shit road that wasn't very good it's a that's a hell ride yeah oh it's ugly it's a bad ride and he he began driving at Legion Ascot. I don't know what that is. In 1929, he always carried baby shoes in his car for luck. It was like his shtick. It was like he had a pair of babies, like a bronzed baby shoes. Were they his? I don't know if they were his or his kids.

Nobody ever could tell. He's the first one to put those on the rear view? I guess he could have if there was a rear view. The cars back then. Okay. Now, to describe them here, 1929 and 1930 when he gets into racing, really. To describe the cars to you are they're open wheeled. Yeah.

And they just look like a tube with four wheels on it and a little windshield. Oh, it's got a little windshield. And there's a man in it just sticking out the top. Oh, boy. Like an Indy car, except they don't have the thing that goes around in the back. The roll cage? You're just sticking up. There's no roll cage.

Right. And they're wearing, later on he'll be in the Indianapolis 500, and they're all wearing, including him, because that's the picture of him, he's wearing a dress shirt, a a tie and a sweater while he races yeah now they wear a jumpsuit with shit all a fucking he had a he was dressed like a college math teacher he had a dress shirt and a tie with a sweater on over it that's how he that's how he wrote today is flame retardant he's wearing everything flammable oh does it oh did i mention they didn't wear helmets even oh my god sticking out back then they used to wear a silk stocking on their head sometimes or like a hat a little hat jesus not a helmet a little hat that's all hey

and it's a little hat like your shoulders above the car you're going stroll head and shoulders above the car little hat on not only that if that's not crazy enough, they didn't even drive alone. They had their fucking mechanic with them in the passenger seat. I swear to God. Was that person next to him or behind him? Right next to him. They're just sitting there like they're on a, it's the weirdest looking thing. Dude in a sweater and a tie, a silk cap with a fucking sweater on.

Another guy watching some gauges. Another guy sitting there next to him. Yeah. A silk cap with a fucking sweater on. Another guy watching some gauges. Another guy sitting there next to him. Yeah. With goggles on and shit. Like, just it's the craziest thing you've ever seen in your life. They had like red, like the Red Baron, like a leather cap and some goggles they'd wear. And they're sitting there next to him like a white, like cover all mechanic suit getting ready to jump out and fix an axle or something.

It's the most. And they're driving over 100 miles an hour like this that shit happened in the 20s yeah it's over 100 miles this guy set records our guy set records he would he was the most balls out of anybody he was everybody said that he would go on turns uh he would go deeper into the corners than anybody that existed he goes fast he goes to could. To not slow down at all. That was his thing. A.J. Foyt, who's a famous racer later on, he says that he was,

Petillo was one of his heroes because he saw where he would just go so deep. He said he's the craziest, ballziest driver. Take this long line to go as fast as possible. Granted, he covered more ground, but if you're going faster. He didn't want to hit the brakes. He's that kind of guy.

He could have been an Evel Knievel later on or something like that, who was also an asshole. Yeah, he was. We've got to cover him one of these days. Was he a criminal? Oh, he did a bunch of shit, Evel Knievel. Oh, God, Jesus. I knew he was a dick. Yeah, we've got to cover him.

I can't wait. That'll be fun. So, in 1929, though, he's in California. Southern California, race car driver, open roof, you know, Red Baron outfit next to your mechanic. Super weird, man. What a lifestyle. Yeah. He cracks the top 10 in points for the Pacific Southwest something.

He was 10th in the points for the Pacific Southwest Racing League of some kind. I don't know. Yeah. So that's what he did here. He has Jesus Christ. His races basically starts with big races in 1932. That's when he starts trying to get in the Indy 500. And the Indy 500 will be his obsession for the rest of his life.

Even after he's, well, supposed to to be done racing he's still trying to get in the indy 500 and many lawsuits with the indy 500 the indy 500 is like like uh like a woman that he got divorced from and they got remarried and they kept fighting and getting divorced and moving out and then they fight over custody that's him in the indy 500 basically here uh so he uh in 1932 though he he drove a car that they called poison lil i guess here and uh and he uh he drove he got a victory at legion ascot in a 30 lap race there and uh that was like it was a lot of other good racers it was like an exhibition but there was a lot of other good racers in it and and so he kind of uh he kind of became a well-known guy after that all the other racers took uh took note of him sponsors people with cars like that

in a pro-am tournament that's what it is yeah it's exactly kind of what it is here october 1932 he won three more races at the same track and then finished eighth in the pacific southwest points rankings here uh behind a bunch of other guys that nobody's ever heard of uh but that's the thing this is one of our first guys that we've done that we're i know no one who's listening right now every name knows who the fuck this is maybe you saw it on a list of criminal athletes and it's not even on lists of criminal athletes that much so i mean you have to dig into it to really see what he was. But no one's like, oh, I used to watch him as a kid. You'd have to be 100 years old.

And that's another thing I'm going to bring up. A lot of this stuff is from newspaper accounts from the days. It's impossible to do attribution to these because it's to attribute credit to these people. Because, A, a 95 of these newspapers don't exist anymore and 99 of the articles are all ap wire articles anyway so it's you could literally credit to any newspaper in the country because they all have it you know there's no authorized fucking facts it's ap yeah it's just one of those things yeah it's an ap thing it's not like an investigative report sure and anyone who could would have wrote those things are all long dead as well.

So it doesn't matter. So dead. Yeah. Anybody who wrote the original copy. They were in their 60s in the 20s. That's what I mean. They're so dead. They were like, I remember Lincoln.

So whippersnapper Woodrow Wilson's really putting our country in a hell of a pickle. So not great. They weren't into world war one so uh uh he became uh he became consistent i hear from 1933 and by 1933 started really finishing races and crashing less and spinning out and shit like that or having less mechanical uh problems because early in his career he was known to mess cars up because he drove them so hard yeah cars were different back then too and they weren't you had to there was a certain way to finesse them right there wasn't as much give yeah so it was a very very very different deal here

uh he he still it was always like that because he drives balls out but it's one of those things where it's like if he's gonna if the equipment holds out he's gonna get he's gonna get every drop you're gonna ever get out of it out of it so they didn't mind basically uh he i guess he he uh he he messed up his car at one point and uh and uh pissed off the people who were sponsoring him i guess he did some sort of see it's so hard to get a an account of a race of 1933 frivolous damage of some sort he did something on the track that wasn't part of the race that was unnecessary ended up damaging the car so they were all pissed off at him uh anyway uh so 1934 uh he gets a win at that legion ascot again he uh he had a harvey ward crager powered car these are these are all

when you're going to hear all these names of like, we're not going to talk about race cars very much. But just I'll give you like a name. And it's like a name that's like a car company now that was like the guy who started it was actually doing it back then. It's crazy shit here. Like there was still, I think Henry Ford was still looking over Fords at this point. He was certainly still alive. It's wild. So he ends up in the Midwest trying to make his way over to Indy.

And he was in April 1934. He has a race at Jungle Park. I don't know what the hell the significance of that is. Like I said, we'll go through the racing real goddamn quick. In 1932, he runs the Indianapolis 500. He goes 189 laps, finishes 12th there. He was flagged eventually and I guess had to quit. I don't know what that means, what the rules were back then.

1933, he also is in the Indianapolis 500. He finishes 19th. He spun out and stalled, and that was the end of that. And then 1934, he finished 11th and did 200 laps there, which is the race, I think. And so he finished running. So that was good. So that was his first time finishing it in 1934 and finished his 11th there. So he does very well.

That's good. and finishes 11th there. So he does very well. That's good. And people are looking at him as kind of like an up-and-comer at that point, which I guess would make sense here. Jesus Christ, some of these names. 1935, it's a good year for him.

We'll talk about 19 34 here real quick in uh in 1934 he broke two different records uh at the indianapolis 500 doing the uh the trials yeah uh he one day he had an average of 119.3 miles an hour so fast which was a record it was the best qualifying average uh by it was a record by uh by almost a whole mile an hour uh which was set the last year by a guy named Wild Bill Cummings. If I have to guess who has the record, it's a guy with Wild Bill Cummings. It sounds like a crazy cowboy. And then Petillo drove the fourth lap at 122.1, which was a record for a rear-drive car, which is not bad at all. There's an all-time record is 124, but that was for a front-wheel drive car. They had front-wheel drive back then.

I thought that was a new thing in the fucking 80s. No, I think back then, they were going all out. At this point, they were building cars from airplane parts and shit. They were inventing race cars. There wasn't companies that churn out race car parts. Like, you made your own fucking cars. That's what it was. Hey, everybody. Just going to take a quick break from the show to tell

you a little bit more about SimpliSafe. SimpliSafe.com. S-I-M-P-L-I Safe.com. That's right. If you've been thinking about your home security, there's no better time to get it than right now. And starting this week, SimpliSafe Home Security is giving our listeners, crime and sports listeners, exclusive deals for Black Friday. SimpliSafe almost never has a deal like this. And this is true.

They've sponsored us for three years. I've never seen a good deal like this exact thing pop up. This is awesome. So if you're thinking about protecting your home, check it out today. This is really the thing to do. SimpliSafe has everything you need to keep your home safe. Entry sensors, motion sensors, a smart lock that locks your door when you forget, video doorbells, plus 24-7 professional monitoring that will dispatch police three and a half times faster. And SimpliSafe is the home security system that I trust for my house.

I know you trust it for your house. And it really is. We have used SimpliSafe because, number one, you don't get some person coming over to your house telling you how expensive it's going to be and how they're going to rip up your drywall. They don't do that. You can install it yourself. It's so easy.

And honestly, the video verification technology, you can't beat that. None of that false alarm stuff where they kick it back to the end of the line while somebody's robbing your whole house. They see that you're being robbed with the video verification. Priority. They tell the police, oh, no, it's a robbery. And the cops get there much faster. You got to do it. And this is already the best value in home security.

That's the thing. And right now, you'll get the savings from this massive Black Friday sale. Just visit simplysafe.com slash sportscrime. That's S-I-M-P-L-I safe.com slash sportscrime. This offer ends Cyber Monday. That's Monday, December 2nd. So go before then, simplisafe.com slash sportscrime. Now back to the show.

This is like, this is the IndyCars, and this is kind of the predecessor. I'm not sure exactly when NASCAR started, but this is like, NASCAR is like the downstream of moonshining and that sort of shit. Building fast cars to outrun cops at night through the fucking hills. They all ran on moonshine. Yeah, see Dukes of Hazz that's that's that's nascar drive it's a real car a stock car like you'd make copperhead road is a steve earl song basically about moonshining and how you get a car that's yeah and there are nascar drivers from like the 50s who had moonshining bus from the 30s and shit like that so that's that's what we're talking about whereas this is different this is like a bunch of crazy uh very rich people there yeah there's a lot of rich people that are like

like scientists with these cars that are trying to make you know they're trying to make companies that build cars and engines and it's well they would also take something that it's not a car that fucking exists like nascar they would take cars that exist and then just retrofit them. Yeah, these, they're inventing cars. They're creating something. Yeah, they're making cars. Yeah, his car here in 1934 is called the Red Lion Special. Oh.

It's a four-cylinder motor only, too. No shit. They jack it up and it goes fast and stick two guys in it. It's like a goddamn motorcycle motor. Imagine. Tiny and fucking powerful.

Fast as shit. Yeah. Imagine being one of those guys that had the mechanic where you just have to trust this guy to not have your head taken off.

Kelly, chill out. Jesus Christ. Come on. I know you like to go deep in the corners, but for fuck's sake, I'm here too, bro. Imagine me in the passenger seat.

You know how you don't care about yourself? I super do. I kind of care about myself. We actually have a lot of quotes from him a little bit later that's hilarious the guy who used to ride with this poor bastard gee i'm sorry uh now 1935 we'll talk about a little we're going to jump around with the 34 and 35 but 35 he's trying to

put a car together to do to to he needs a new car yeah he's trying to put a car together he takes his life savings and borrows more money from his family to build his own car for Indy, for the 500. His father mortgages the family store and everything. That's how much they're trying to. They believe in him. They believe in him. Other relatives. I mean, it's like passing the hat.

Like, you know, he's racing. He's doing something. And these are immigrants. This is their kid is doing something. If you're an immigrant back then and your kid's doing something, everybody's pitching in on it because he's he's doing something and these are these are immigrants yeah this is their kid is doing something if you're an immigrant back then your kid's doing something everybody's pitching in on it because he's he's getting out of here and doing something holy shit he's going to speak english without an accent someday this is going to be great so uh a family friend origio balboni who i cannot make up and just i automatically picture steve balboni the ex yankee and royal steve balboni have you ever seen steve balboni i'm sure i have he's a fat italian guy with a mustache

that's completely bald like homer simpson he looks like he always looked like he was 50 years old he just looks like somebody's father that you were like we need an extra guy you're pretty big get out there and he played professional baseball somehow terrible hitter well he had like of course he was one good year for the royals or something and the yankees get him and he was terrible obviously he'd hit like 215 but every once in a while he'd get a hold of one and you'd be like holy shit guy's got some talent man pops he'd fucking crush that thing if he could do that every time that'd be nice unbelievable so uh balboni ran an aircraft salvage yard, and he allowed Kelly to come in and pick through the wreckage, basically, of all these airplanes and take whatever the fuck they needed.

Just rivet pieces together. To build cars from airplane engines. So, I mean, that's crazy. Yeah. First of all, think about the danger in just building this insane car and then being like, I'm going to drive it as fast as it goes. You know, my head's sticking out of the top of it. We'll see how it works. Shit might lift off.

We don't know yet. That's crazy. I'll find out. It might fall apart. Yeah. You never know. It might fucking explode. Who knows?

So they did this. A guy built the body, and then Kelly made the rest of the car in his own shop. The front axle came from a wrecked Plymouth. The transmission came from a Studebaker. This is going to race the Indy 500. It's a Frankenstein car. Absolutely. So he needed an engine.

It was about $3,500 for a new engine. So a guy provides him one on credit with the understanding that he would pay it back if he made any money in the race here. So, you know, the guy was Offenhauser was the guy's name. And he looked at it as like it was kind of a sponsor. He looked at it as you'll tell everybody it's my car. Right. And then that'll be good for me. And then if you win, you can pay me back.

And everybody wins, basically. Super good for me. You get a loan. You get a car that you can't afford. I get my name out there. And I get my money back for loaning it to you. So he qualifies for the poll and ends up being disqualified for a fueling rule. And then on his second attempt at the poll, his engine blew.

Oh, no. He's having problems. So he got the engine repaired, not in a local repair shop. He went to a gas station and went, and really got to fix my Indy car. You're like, all right. What the fuck is that? Studebaker axle. Okay.

Well, I don't know. Just rivet some shit in there, I guess. I don't know what I'm supposed to do here. I'm supposed to match this. Jesus Christ. What's happening? I mean, I know I'm drunk, but this car makes no sense to me because everyone was drunk back then, but it still makes no sense to me at all.

So, yeah, this is this is silly here. So he goes to the Indianapolis 500 and this is this is his kind of his big race here. This is he breaks the 34 when he broke the records trying to qualify. broke the records trying to qualify. And 35, he started in the last, he only finished, he's never finished in the top 10. He finished 11 was his best time. So he comes out crazy in this race, right?

He gets going at the 100-mile mark. He was in fourth place, and then he passed other people, passed some people, and he was in third at 125, and then he passed other people passed some people and uh he was in third at 125 and then in the lead at 175 miles wow he stopped for gas while he was in second place this is the only time we'll talk about a race and specifics for the rest of the show so don't worry it's going to be pretty much all crime from the rest of this on all right literally once this race is over fucking buckle up it's all over here. So he's in second place for the next 50 miles, and then somebody else regained the lead, and then he regains first place at 225 miles, holds it for the next 100 miles at another stop at 350, drop back, back and forth, and then at 375, he gets out in front and never loses his lead. Wow.

Yeah. The last half hour of the race, guess it got it looked like it was going to storm the whole sky got super black and looked like it was going to open up finally rain starts to fall and they had to slow down to 75 miles an hour for about 30 miles an hour they do the caution deal this is you know back when that was barely a thing i'm sure and uh the uh they uh and then they they sent people out for 20 the last 25 miles were full speed which is kind of exciting like it's basically a 25 mile race at that point which is pretty fucking cool great that's pretty fun yeah that's you're gonna see that's the thing

about nascar or any of these races they're boring as shit unless you turn them on with five laps to go just turn don't worry about the turn them on with five laps to go. Don't worry about the turn them on with five laps to go, and it's just a bunch of really fast cars racing for five laps. That's exciting. And you turn it off. As long as it's close. As long as somebody doesn't have like a three-lap lead. Oh, well, that's ridiculous.

Even then, pretend. I mean, yeah, he'll be lapping this guy, but pretend the guy who he's lapped twice and he's right next to him. Pretend they're racing. It's exciting looking. They're just fast cars racing with each other. That's's exciting your pretend is just as fascinating as the real story yeah otherwise it's boring they're all just going the same speed so it looks like they're not going the same speed you need to send one like 93 geo prism out there to go just like around the infield

so you can see when they cut to the geocam like of a driver in there and you just hear you're like fuck that's fast you know you know if someone's really flying and you're like set a stoplight and somebody flies by at like 80 you're like jesus christ imagine that you're going 46 and the car's shaking in a geo prism from 93 and then this thing flies by you you people at home be like holy shit this is the most exciting thing ever. Chips of rubber flying around. That's what's fucking crazy about this track. Let me be in charge.

I'll make this shit interesting. Me and Jimmy for NASCAR president. Watching the rubber chips, because these tires get chewed the fuck up on the track. They throw them into the crowd, kill spectators. People cheer. Yay! Took his head clean off. I think that was a kid.

Yeah! This is a good race. I'm Took his head clean off. I think that was a kid. Awesome. Yeah. This is a good race. I'm glad I got these tickets. I used to go to drag races when I was a kid and sit by the starting line where they do the burnouts right before they go down the track because they had to get their tires worn. And chunks of rubber rained down upon you. I remember vividly as a kid drinking a Sprite full of rubber.

Yeah. That's disgusting. That's disgusting. Hey, rubber Sprite. This is great. So, yeah, I guess the end of the race. a sprite full of rubber yeah that's disgusting hey rubber sprite so much great so uh yeah i guess the the end of the race he uh it was a close race between him and the second place guy and he pulled it out and the crowd went crazy because it was so exciting he gets out the first one to greet him is his kid his son's there is a you know seven eight year old son jumps or eight year old jumps at him and he's all excited and uh everybody's there they're taking pictures of him and this luigi's kid has

done well this grocer's son from compton has fucking become the indianapolis 500 winner which is insane that's you're the top racer at that point there aren't many of those people no that means you're at that moment in 35 that was it you were You were the top racer, at least in the hemisphere. I don't know about Europe. I don't know how they were racing over there. I don't know if the Grand Prix happened or some shit. I don't know if they were doing those street races and shit yet. But, I mean, at least in the United States, this made you the best racer going.

So, it's a big goddamn deal. And it makes you very famous in racing circles. And it gives you a lot of money money here as we'll talk about not we'll talk about exactly how much money it's it's funny now but to think about the amount of money to win such a big thing but uh uh here he uh he there was a lot of people too this was a record setting crowd uh his time was four hours and 42 minutes and 22 seconds with an average speed of 106.24 miles an hour which was a new record for the track as well so it's the fastest anyone ever ran it but back then the cars were getting better every year so you were kind of breaking last year's record every all the time

uh thirty thousand dollars to be uh given to him which nowadays that is nothing the winner of it today doesn't win that much, to be honest with you. It's more than $30,000. Well, I'll tell you what it translates to. I did the inflation calculator here in a second. But he broke the old record by almost two miles an hour for last year's record, obviously. Which, yeah, well, he's got this crazy Frankenstein car. It's bananas, yeah.

Record crowd of 150,000 people were there. So, yeah, not too shabby. His prize for winning the race was $20,000, and then he gets a bunch of other cash prizes offered up by the sponsors, and that makes up to be about $30,000 there. He was very happy, obviously. He says that he was speechless when they talked to him. He hugged his mechanic, Jimmy Dunham, gave him a big hug.

People came in with old school movie cameras and shit it was a real old timey scene him in his sweater this was the first year they were required to wear helmets by the way really it's just like a little motorcycle helmet it's not like it doesn't have a face mask it's got a goggle sitting on top of there

it's ridiculous he just said quote I'm glad I won I've been trying since 1932 to make the grade and they they uh said that his face was smeared with grease yes and there was also stuff from the car on there as well that filthy filthy guinea was what they said no they didn't say that in the paper i would have been the best. Oh, I would have fucking died. Something about Dago. Just Dago bastard. Now, there's a guy named Clay Weatherly.

He's a 25-year-old driver. He's from Wisconsin, and he lived in Chicago recently. He's been driving for three years on dirt tracks. This was his first Indianapolis race. And his car, while going very fast, 100 miles an hour, hit the upper wall on the turn leading into the stretch and crashed into the inner retaining wall, throwing him out of the car and into the infield. Oh, my God.

While going 100 miles an hour. He got ejected. Holy shit. That does not happen now. Wow. You don't see drivers thrown into the infield anymore. That's very... That fuselage is built to imagine that and coon them yeah and make a little yeah and encapsulate yeah that doesn't break and

doesn't isn't fireproof it's this little your own little safety box sometimes it fails oh it'll fail once in a while but this was just oh there he goes like he had a fucking ejector seat in it like he was the red baron projectile that's awesome yeah uh well it's not as funny at this uh point here now al gordon is a mechanic who was also in the car uh uh i'm sorry his mechanic here uh escaped uh escaped here uh and weatherly though is killed yeah of course when the car crashed there. Yeah, because another driver who ended up crashing into him, he was fine, and his mechanic was okay. But this Weatherly is killed, basically, which is terrible. Gordon's car shot to the top of the track and hung there, it said.

Gordon's life was saved due to his head helmet, which drivers are finally required to wear here. The helmet's made of a combination of light metals and wood. What the fuck kind of helmet is that? Dude, the newspaper, when you hear people's quotes later, it's all like, well, I'll tell you what, fella, it's fucking amazing. It's awesome. It's made of metals and wood? Wood?

Why is there plural metals? What's the different metals and wood on a helmet? Where the fuck have you ever seen wood on a helmet? I imagine the wood is the liner of the inside. Why? I don't know. Who wears wood on their head? I don't know.

Maybe the metal got hot. In case it's on fire, the wood will catch on fire, too, but it'll calm it down a little bit. It won't be so hot. So when we grab the helmet off his head, it'll be less hot. And the helmet was broken into bits. I'm sure it'll catch on fire, too, but it'll calm it down a little bit. It won't be so hot. So when we grab the helmet off his head, it'll be less hot. And the helmet was broken into bits. I'm sure it was. Instead of his skull.

So that's good, I guess. Yeah, I guess this is a turn where accidents occurred all the time because it's covered in motor oil, causing it to become slippery there. So the mechanic sustained a cut hand but otherwise escaped injury. But, yeah, Weatherly was killed at 25 years old. And they were like, yep, happens. That's it. So the mechanic sustained a cut hand, but otherwise escaped injury. But yeah, Weatherly was killed at 25 years old. And they were like, yep, happens. That's it. Casualty of this job.

Yeah. The constant death was also a motivating factor in establishing a formal rookie driver's test beginning in 1936. They just let people with cars drive in the race. They didn't know if they could control them you if you could get yourself an indy car yeah you and you could qualify on the on the you know polls that you just show up and race wow you don't have to have any qualifications there was no test to qualify you do that shit with nobody on the track that's what i mean and before this year you didn't even have to have a fucking helmet you just showed up with a car and a tie and a sweater on and they were like get on in there buddy looks like go ahead sort of me looks like he's ready to go to me fucking crazy so i mean that sucks though all these people dying like

this just racing unnecessarily i mean it's a bummer uh it really is looking for bragging rights essentially that's what it was because they're adrenaline junkies back then they had nothing else to do i mean it's a bummer but you know what I'm not bummed about, Jimmy? What's that? The sales. Oh, the sales. Oh, we're back with the sales. This is in the Boston Globe in May of 1935. Oh, boy. If you happen to be in Boston in May of 1935. I just got out.

It's amazing, too. If you stumble upon a time machine, tell you what, I was going to say you'll have this episode. Listen to it, but your Wi-Fi, your phone probably won't work. So jot this down. Yeah. too if you stumble upon a time machine tell you what i was going to say you'll have this episode listen to it but your wi-fi your phone probably won't work so jot this down yeah so that way when you show up people be like oh my god you're from the future and you'll be like i know i have to get to the store because there's a sale going on they'll be like how the fuck do you know that they'll think you're it starts tomorrow it's amazing this is at the amp which if you're it's a it's a grocery store i don't know east coast chain it's, which is a grocery store.

East Coast chain. It's an East Coast grocery store there. I don't remember what it stands for. I don't know. Assholes and pussy. I have no idea. But if you're going to the A&P, it's a grocery store. Oh, they say they have, quote, more meat values.

We have chickens. Fancy milk fed is what it says. The food back then is way different, by the way. This is 1935. We have chickens. Chickens is what it says in the ad here. Chickens, as I'm showing you. Fancy milk-fed to broil or fry.

You can't bake it, though. You're not allowed to do that. It's not unhealthy enough. What have you ever seen with a plural? Any time we read that, it's always just chickens. Chickens. They have chickens, two and a half pound average, 27 cents a plural. Anytime we read that, it's always just chicken. Chickens. They have chickens, two and a half pound average, 27 cents a pound. That's a whole chicken.

For chickens. So you could get a whole chicken for like 80 cents, which is pretty good. What are you having for dinner? Chickens? Chickens. Lots of them. Lamb forays. I don't know.

F-O-R-E-S. I don't know. It's old timey food. Maybe it's fours. Fours. Boned and rolled if desired. Good Lord. I don't know. It's old-timey food. Maybe it's fours? Fours. Boned and rolled if desired. Good Lord. 15 cents a pound, which seems like a great deal.

What do you roll lamb for? I guess to make a leg of lamb so you could bake it, roll it, and make like a brajol. Boned or deboned? Boned and rolled. Boned means they've taken the bones out. So it's like a bone. We've boned it. It's probably a leg of lamb, I'm thinking here. Fancy

brisket. Not just brisket. Fancy brisket. This shit's fancy as shit. Mildly cured corned beef. This is 33 cents a pound. For all you dirty Irishmen out there. Lean ends. Ew. I don't know. Mildly cured, it says.

29 cents a pound. Veal legs. They have all the meat fancy fresh fancy white milk fed 23 cents a pound and finally boiled ham is on sale everybody the english are gonna love it sliced and mild 45 cents a pound and for your sandwiches mayonnaise is on sale 41 cents a quart so i don't know that is a it's a lot it makes it grosser by that measure by the barrel like oil uh by the scoop an eight ounce jar is 12 cents so that's good seems like a deal uh and you can also get some crab chat cook crab meat two tins for $0.43. A tin of crab meat. A tin of crab. And also, what is this here? Finast, F-I-N-A-S-T, I don't know if it's a brand.

Oven-baked beans, two large tins for $0.27. Okay. Not too bad. So what was it like to race back then? I'd love to know. Let's talk about this. All right. They're talking to that mechanic that he rode with, the Dunham guy. Not too bad. So what was it like to race back then? I'd love to know. Let's talk about this. All right.

They're talking to that mechanic that he rode with, the Dunham guy. The cars, you know how it's called the Brickyard, the Indy 500? That's because the fucking track was brick back then. Was it really? Yeah. That's why it was called the Brickyard. They were original bricks back then. So you know how when we were in Philly, we had to drive down that one street to go to my hotel and we're like, Jesus fucking Christ, we're going eight miles an hour.

Imagine going 115 miles an hour with oil slicks on that. In 1930s technology suspension. Yeah, we had a brand new rental car that had good suspension. It was a Jeep. It was made to go off-roading and it was terrible. Jesus Christ,

my head was bouncing off the ceiling. What the fuck is this? It was a disaster. Are we even supposed to be on this road? Imagine if our heads were just sticking out of the top, going 110 miles an hour with a tie on. With a wooden and maybe some metal helmet. It was possible it breaks into pieces.

So that's why it was called the Brickyard. So Dunham here says, quote, It was a pretty rough ride. He says he once lost 10 pounds during a race because of the vibrations. It vibrated. Now, that didn't make you lose weight, but I think back then,

remember they used to have those machines that you see like that vibrates your stomach and that was supposed to make you lose weight? The jiggler belt. Yeah, probably he lost, it was probably the heat of being in Indianapolis in late May, driving around a hot

track in a hot car that engine probably spit off a lot yeah and i assume you sweat 10 pounds and your tense muscles yeah oh and 10 pounds of fluids yeah probably everybody loses 10 pounds in his races now he said quote i only had two pads on my seat and i had to hold myself up in the seat until we reached 100 miles an hour and then it began to smooth out wow so he had to hover above it like he was shitting in an airport toilet until it got comfortable enough to sit down otherwise his tailbone what kind of pad was that in the back of his throat oh probably a terrible like a planting pad that you kneel on i'm thinking one of those shitty like indoor outdoor chair pads yeah you just throw on there like old ladies

put on like flowery designs the folding half yeah yeah he said uh along with helping look out for traffic and keeping an eye on tires he said that he has tasks also included massaging the arms of the driver kelly patilla because imagine that vibration mow a lawn for 10 minutes your arms are like oh jesus christ from imagine the vibrations of holding that wheel steady to not crash when you're going 120 miles an hour it's crazy uh he says quote because in those days that was pretty rough on those uh on those bricks from all those vibrations which i would think so uh also they didn't have a lot of safety equipment they said how much protection did racers have in 1935 and he said quote well none that was the first year it was mandatory to wear crash helmets prior to that they wore silk silk stocking caps like

they're going to sleep like they're ebenezer scrooge laying down to fucking sleep on christmas eve about to take a nap yeah that's nice put my stocking cap on and drive a hundred miles an hour around on bricks in a circle like a maniac hold the life of my mechanic in my hands at the same time that was also the first year they installed caution lights around the track to advise the drivers of cautions and shit otherwise it was just flags and also mark the first time racers tried out radio communication between the drivers and the pit crews so this was spotty even back then before Before that, it was just, you're just out there. They don't know what's going on, how it is,

or you got your mechanic with you. We're hoping nobody dies of dysentery and has to be buried along the way. That's all there is to it. Hopefully on the same channel as your pit crew. Who knows? Yeah, otherwise, also, this was for safety. The driver and mechanic wore cardboard cutouts

strapped around their torsos with loads of heavy gauze intended to guard against internal injuries they basically wore like on the wire when omar went to jail and they put phone books and atlases around him when they knew everyone was going to stab him they put his body like from under his arms to his waist they just coated him in open phone books and shit and multiple layers that you can't stab through and then put a bunch of gauze around it. Makes sense.

That's what they did then. For a car crash. For a car. Imagine you have to drive 500 miles with a fucking cardboard around your torso strapped to you with gauze. You can't move in that well if you're vibrating it out this is crazy this is insane were they out of bubble wrap what the fuck are

they doing he said quote that was all because of the vibrations to keep the insides from jolting too much and also for other things uh he said quote our cars had a very high center of gravity and couldn't take the turns as fast as cars do today. So, yeah, he would. They would lift it up? Yeah, they'd smack into the wall because they didn't take the turns as well. He said that cars, you know, they travel 110 miles an hour. Now, obviously, they travel so much faster than what they were doing there. He said that when he was a kid, the mechanic said he fooled around with stock cars and then ended up learning about cars that were being built for the Indies, for the Indy race and shit like that.

And Dunham met Petillo, and they got along. They were both insane. And they were only together for a year, though, as a team. He said, quote, all drivers and mechanics dream of getting to go to Indianapolis, let alone to participate. I was very fortunate. I go one time, and I win the race. So that wasn't too bad. Yeah, they didn't do.

They started in the 22nd position to win the race, which is pretty goddamn good. Dunham said, quote, We broke every record that year. And Jesus Christ, four people died in that year's race. Weatherly was the story I could get the most details on. But four people died in the race most details on but four people died in the race casualties four people died in this fucking race and they were like that was there was a long article this guy won isn't this great this was the race and at the end they were like four people died also four drivers died in the race like that wasn't a big deal that was expected

there's gonna be 35 at least four or five of them are gonna to die. But I mean, hopefully we'll keep it to that. How crazy is that? That is insane. Those odds are not great. Just accepting that as a fact. Four and 36 is not good odds that you're going to die doing this. That's a lot. If someone said, hey, every time you do this, four and 36, you'd be like, fuck that. One and nine?

Yeah. That's better than one and ten. Yeah, that's more than 10% of a chance you're going to die. That that's a whole lot seems insane i don't know that just seems insane so jesus christ man uh so june 10th 1935 this is after the race he has to miss a race after he gets into an accident in a 10 mile exhibition race and breaks his car so he's fucking around in a race and uh tries to do some stupid shit and show off it doesn't matter doesn't matter breaks his car. So he's fucking around in a race and tries to do some stupid shit and show off. In a race that doesn't matter. Doesn't matter, breaks his car,

has to miss a money race, unfortunately, here. So later in 1935, he wins some races here. October 13th, he wins a 100-mile race in Pennsylvania, and by the end of 35, he was the AAA National Driving Champion, which was the governing National Driving Champion, which was the governing body there back then. He also, that year, a bunch of drivers tried to organize into the National Championship Drivers of America.

We've seen this multiple times in multiple sports where top participants will try to break off and do their own league that's more of like a player-centric league. They tried to do that. The idea here was that the drivers would promote races to get bigger shares. Cut the promoters out, basically. That's smart. It is.

You bring your audience and you get paid. Yeah, it's comics putting on their own shows, basically, but successful. They're trying to be successful here. And a bunch of guys did it, a bunch of guys you'll never hear of, all these people. They wanted Kelly Petillo, and he wouldn't sign up. He said that because if he signed up there, he'd have to forego. As the Indy 500 champion, he gets a bunch of appearance money for the AAA to make appearances all over the place.

You'll have to cut all that shit out. And he wouldn't get any of that for the rest of the year. So he said, I got a bunch of guaranteed money coming to me. You guys have a good time with your gamble. And he was in demand, and he wouldn't do it. And he liked being the, and he wouldn't do it. And he liked being the Indy 500 winner. And finally, after two races, that organization shut down and dissolved.

So he made the right move. He made the right move. For the last time in his life, he made the right move. 1935, he made $40,000 total. For the whole year. For the whole year. Which translates in 2019 money to $49 661 dollars and 31 cents not bad not a bad year for his first kind of that's his that's his kind of is coming out here so that's not too shabby there uh grace oh boy that's grace oh no from now on yeah it is nothing but in

fucking sanity buckle up depression depression this is the depression era that's the other thing to make 40 grand in 1935 right you were the king of the world sure i mean that's a lot not the king of the world but that's a lot of money in 1935 man for president yeah people did it was the goddamn depression still i mean this is pre-world war ii sure 35 hitler still considered a decent cat all right that's how long ago this was literally they, they were like, well, I mean, Germany's turning around. He didn't come up with anything crazy yet. Didn't try to take over anything else. People were just like, yeah, he's all right.

He's like Time Magazine is on the cover and shit. That's how long ago this is. They didn't wear fucking helmets two years before this. So after that, he's going to be in the Indy 500 a bunch more times, but he's never going to finish above 18th going to finish 20th 22nd 18th 21st 27th never really a lot of times he uh he break his car breaks in the race which happens a lot back then uh 1936 he says he was all set and ready to live on his to retire and live on his winnings what he's going to retire

and live on essentially three quarters of a million dollars everything was so cheap oh absolutely you could buy a house for four thousand dollars back then so i mean i understand that you could buy a car for 800 bucks yeah yeah you really could yeah uh but he's an idiot he's not gonna make that money last he's a he's a carousing nightlife he's gonna open an la nightclub in the late 30s and early 40s which if you've ever seen like la confidential or any of that shit it's still the wild west out there it's corrupt as fuck sure i mean you you they'd still kill people and take them out to the desert like it was vegas in the 60s back then it was crazy shit. The wait is over.

So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Ding! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything.

I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor.

You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season.

It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. Taylor Swift is soaring high. Her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history. Not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process.

But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war. First by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show, Business Wars. We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time. And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. He named another guy. His car moved on to a guy named Doc McKenzie. And he stayed in the pits, though, to keep an eye out over everything to kind of oversee. But in 1936, this is you could still do this in 1936 at indy in the last stages of the race uh his guy was running seventh patillo when the guy came into the fucking pit he said get the fuck out i'm driving he kicked his driver out of his car and jumped in and ended up finishing in third place it wasn't an indie it was a different race

it ended up finishing in third place not bad uh't an Indy. It was a different race. It ended up finishing in third place, though. Not bad. Yeah, but he kicked it from set. He's Al Davis. He couldn't retire. Yeah, Al Davis, if he put a helmet on and said, Ken Stabler, get out of there.

I'm coming in to play quarterback. That would have been crazy. I got this now. If Steinbrenner was like, let's go, Jeter. Take a fucking seat. I'm picking a bat up. You'd be like, what? What are you talking about?

You can't do. What? You're in a suit suit that was fine back then though uh so uh yeah a bunch of uh there's a lot of crazy ass races back then just a crazy interesting things to talk about a couple of weird ones uh in 1925 or 1936 uh the first black driver uh Ray Joe Jack, R.A.J.O. Jack drove a Ford stock car to victory in a 200 mile national championship at Minesfield Speedway. He won by two full laps. This guy kicked fucking ass. Right. And this was racially everything was racially segregated back then. He had to say he was Portuguese.

What? So, yeah, he just said he was portuguese and uh you know quote unquote past okay with it yeah they were yeah that's what they used to do back then in baseball in the minors they used to say a guy was cuban if he was late they'd be like oh yeah he's cuban or he's dominican and they'd be like oh all right that was fine and they'd just tell him to shut the fuck up and they'd teach him like three sentences they teach him like three sentences of spanish and that was that's what they used to do back then i'm not shit you're not that was a thing embarrassing it's fucking embarrassing it's ridiculous and they all knew it that was the thing everybody fucking knew they were all lying to each other but it was like as long as we all pretend there's not a black guy playing and there ain't

a black guy playing god damn it ridiculous uh and a and a horrible name like ray joe his real name is dewey gatson which sounds less portuguese let's just say right all them ray joe ray joe less less portuguese i guess maybe if ray joe's a maybe a portuguese name maybe that's all i don't know many portuguese names here uh but he was known as a a really badass dudes uh they said his wife had to be with him every time he won though because when the trophy girl came to kiss the winner, that didn't fly back then. So they'd have to give the trophy to his wife, and his wife would give it to him and kiss him. Don't have one of those pretty white girls kissing that. One guy said, quote, he was a great guy and everybody liked him, but it was just safer this way with all the racial tension and everything.

So, yeah. Now, 1939, Kelly appears in a movie called Burn Him Up, O'Connor, which sounds like a real blockbuster here. Here's the description of it. Quote, racing car enthusiast Jerry O'Connor. Isn't that the guy from? That's the guy that's American. Oh, that's George O'Connell. Stand by me?

O'Connell. There you go. And his dim-witted mechanic, Buddy Buttle. Buddy Buttleu-t-t-l-e wow get their chance to join the crew of a race car builder pinky delana what the what are they doing what is happening uh jesus by way do you hear who wrote this by the way not who but what he is uh who just suffered a setback when one of his drivers was killed by failing to make a turn on the track. Then one by one, his other drivers suffer the same fate until it's Jerry's turn to drive the big race. But he tries an experiment and determines these were no accidents.

But it's too late to help Jerry, who has started the race. So he's got to save his friend who's going to die in this race. Apparently, he's very, very scared. Now, this is directed by edward sedgwick the writer's name is malcolm campbell otherwise known as sir malcolm camp they knighted this asshole someone who wrote that shit got knighted he said buddy buttle and they the queen fucking put the fuck that shit sword on either shoulder asked me to respect that shit when you gave it to this idiot starring dennis o'keefe cecilia parker and nat pendleton i don't know i'm sure it's a great on either shoulder. Don't you ask me to respect that shit when you gave it to this idiot. Starring Dennis O'Keefe,

Cecilia Parker, and Nat Pendleton. I don't know. I'm sure it's a great movie. And Kelly plays a race car driver. Shocking. So he also opens an LA nightclub at some point.

What's it called? I don't know what it's called. He's known as particularly an abrasive and sleazy character even in the nightclub scene. Oh, I'm sure. That's what he's known as. So 1941, he has a daughter.

His wife, not he, but Valentina has a daughter named Darlene. Yeah. I don't know where they just pulled Darlene. I guess Becky was taken already. Big fans of Roseanne. Big Roseanne fans. That year, he's also charged with assaulting a police officer. Oh, what?

Oh, yeah. He beat the living shit out of a police officer. Why? Really fucked him up good. Broke his glasses. A piece of glass went in his eye. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah.

Really fucked him up good. At his nightclub or what? Yeah, around his nightclub. You would think he's going to be in a lot of trouble. He should be in jail for that. Charges are dropped two days later. Why? Super weird.

Well, we'll find out why. Because it's odd. Things keep happening. He acts however he wants. for that uh charges are dropped two days later why super weird well we'll find out why because uh it's odd things keep happening he does he acts however he wants yeah and he just doesn't really get any consequences for it it's it's almost like the cops are like corrupt or something around here we'll find out all about it though this is wild man i'm telling you now april 12th uh 1942 this fucking idiot this is amazing here uh now mind you he's never been injured in an auto accident driving 100 miles an hour on bricks and you know with his head sticking out and a stocking cap on and the whole deal here he is shit-faced drunk and he uh runs his car

into a freight train oh my god a moving freight oh jesus he gets into an accident with a moving freight train while shit face that ought to kill you uh yeah he had to skid and he skidded into the moving train fuck fucked him all up uh he says quote in all my years on the tracks i never came across a cropper like this i have no idea what that means no clue that's some 30 speak right there all my years on a track i never saw a train ever i would fucking hope not you idiot and he showed the cops must have showed up and they go all right you're so and so what do you do for a living i'm a professional you're say again pardon i don't know if you saw that big thing flying by that goes chew chew sugar right fucking in front of you the only place they go is down railroad tracks.

Way bigger than your car. All you got to do, don't be on the tracks. He's like, my mechanic usually points that shit out. I don't know. I just don't look. I don't have anybody in the passenger seat. I drive straight. When someone points something out, I move.

I don't know. What the fuck else am I supposed to do here? I'm a driver. I don't know what to do. He was taken to the hospital. Doctors said he suffered a brain concussion and facial lacerations. supposed to do here i'm a driver i don't know what to do he was taken to the hospital uh doctor said he suffered a brain concussion and facial facial lacerations so he had a it was nasty that was a solid smash he fucking ran into a train destroyed his car this is a big steel car and everything

else destroyed it uh yeah he's a goddamn mess basically uh september 1943 here it comes oh boy now it starts getting really downhill here i don't know if the concussion caused it even more oh i can see it he's always been crazy but now he's even crazier now uh so he owns a nightclub as we know here he is uh wow this is fucking amazing he's at his nightclub uh he is first of all he he ends up being uh on, he ends up being charged with resisting an officer, battery, and speeding. He'll be found guilty of striking police officer N.C. Barcalow of the California Highway Patrol. He was going 45 miles an hour in a 25-mile-an-hour zone. The cop was trying to give him a ticket and you had to sign the ticket and the cop was trying to urge him to sign the ticket and instead uh kelly

decided to beat the shit out of him it's time to fight he decided to fight him on the road so he fights him breaking one of the policeman's teeth which is not great you don't want to do that he's a crazy oh he's a he's a psychopath he'll run in the car at 100 miles an hour at a wall. He's a crazy person. He's like fucking if you put Lenny Dykstra in a car. You know what I mean? That's not an insult. Lenny Dykstra would have been a good race car driver probably

if that's what he was into because he would run into a wall at first. He doesn't care. He's making the play is what's important to him. And whatever happens afterwards, I made that play. They have the same mindset. Out of disregard for him. Yeah. the play is what's important to him and whatever happens afterwards i made that play and that's that they have the same mindset out of disregard for him for yeah right it's i'm making the play i want to be good and you know and i think that's a lot of it too is his i'm sure he had some sort

of inferiority thing this guy kelly growing up probably and shit like that he's got a lot of shit to prove and uh yeah so uh they sentence him to probation uh it's he ends up uh he's at he's uh he's set at he's out on 500 bail and he's fighting cops and getting pulled over people are fighting hitler right now right you know that right like a lot of our country they're literally fighting hitler and this guy's punching patrolmen in the fucking mouth because they want him to sign a ticket. See what I'm saying here? So July 1st, 1945. So he operates this bar.

He's there. It's about midnight and he wants to close down. Instead, there's two Marines there who are drinking. These are Marines on leave, you know, from the war. You know what i'm saying like these are dudes who have been fighting hitler and shit they've been literally yeah they've seen some shit uh basically uh the police officers approach uh here because they heard some ruckus

going on some yelling outside so they approached the entrance of it they observed this two police officers watched this quote two mar Marines standing in the middle of the floor. At one point, Patillo's yelling at him. At one point, Patillo grabs a barstool and beats the shit out of one of the Marines with a barstool. Beats him to the ground.

Right as the other guy's trying to get involved, police say that they hear a gunshot ring out and Kelly is chasing the other Marine out firing a rifle at him what the after he beat the shit out of the other one with a barstool this is because he told them five minutes and they said we'll leave when we're ready and he said oh i think you'll leave now according to my friend mr barstool here last call for alcohol no it's not yeah it is oh yeah it is so uh about that time both the marines ran out of the

place so the police officers enter the cafe to i guess join up to join this crazy fucking party i mean jesus christ an officer anderson is attacked by patel he they walk in he just starts attacking them too i said we're close i said we're getting literally they chases the marines out cops walk in he's like i'll start hitting you motherfuckers no words exchanged just attacks the police who walk in the bar afterwards which is just imagine the thought process there you're just doing this cop i'll hit that fucking cop how dare he come into my bar what is happening so eventually they subdue him uh so they interview some witnesses, the Marines.

They place Petillo under arrest and they put him in jail here. They make out an arrest report and they give the case and all of this sort of shit. And this is all very important. And the name of the witnesses and all this. It's all police procedure. Investigation of the case is assigned to a detective because it's like there's a deadly weapon involved and shit at eight o'clock in the morning the next morning he's uh the the it's assigned to a detective there and uh he reports at the police station and he says that uh he discovers the arrest and the prosecution and it's signed over there's all a chain of command is all

nice up till this point this This is important for a reason. Okay. So basically, he takes they take Petillo from his cell to an office used by the detectives to talk to him. And they asked Petillo what happened the night before. And he says that two Marines refused to leave his cafe at closing time and that he didn't have a fight with the Marines that when they refused to uh leave he quote went in the back room and got a rifle and shot it in order to scare them out that's his

that's his like i'm didn't do anything wrong that's all i did i just i just fired a deadly weapon in the direction of people to quote scare them okay in the city limits yeah uh so this is a detective skags here he tells patillo that uh He tells Petillo that in the arrest report, it says that he also beat one of them over the head with a barstool and fired the rifle, not like in the air. He fired it at him, and he closed one eye and aimed it. Literally, he fucking took aim at this guy, and just luckily he probably had a few drinks and missed. But, I mean, he wasn't just shooting in his direction he's like i could see like his tongue sticking out like michael jordan really trying to get a good shot in there gotcha so he denies it but till i was like i have no idea what you're talking about that's yeah ridiculous doesn't

sound like me ridiculous he then says no that's nothing i would do ever i i treasure my barstools so he says that patillo says that after the Marines ran out of the cafe, there was a knocking at the front door. And he said then his cousin readmitted the Marines by accident because he didn't know. And another man who Petillo didn't recognize. And then after that, he said he recognized Officer Anderson that he was fighting with was from the Vice Squad. So he was a plainclothes guy. That's why he started just attacking a stranger for no reason, as you do. So he said at this point he surrendered his rifle, and he said he became excited and commenced, quote, to abuse one of the police officers.

This was followed by a scuffle and his arrest uh because you know you can't do that so he says that uh now patillo this is fucking funny he says basically that later on that night patillo says quote uh he was told by the detective quote this is a tough deal and it looks like the big house for you that's very 30s this is literally 1945 he says this is a tough deal and looks like it's going to be the big house for you. Literally, that's how he said. That's what he said. He said, I better shape up. It's going to be the who's going to be up in the who's cow.

Tell you what, boy. The last time you were in the pokey. Listen here, fella. He says, quote, I could squash this if I could get the Marines, if I could get to the Marines. And of course, it would take some money. That's what the detective told patillo he says so patillo says uh they told him that uh that patillo says the detective told him there's about four or five of them uh that have to split out that have a split on it it would take about 500 bucks to make all this go away so patillo saying

the detective offers up a solution, basically a bribe. And Petillo said that he was interested in that. And then the detective said, well, I don't know. I'll have to see the attorneys and tell them. You have to let them know what's going on, and we'll see. And so all of this ends up happening. And he ends up paying off this guy 500 bucks to the detective, and the detective ends up getting arrested for this.

Oh, shit. Detective ends up being arrested and convicted of accepting bribes and all sorts of different charges, internal police charges and external charges, and ends up being sent to prison and everything. Oh, shit. This detective skags from Petillo, giving him 500 bucks to do this, to fix and everything. Oh, shit. This Detective Skaggs from Petillo giving him 500 bucks to do this, to fix his shit. Now, this obviously isn't the first time, you know, he's probably fixed something. Oh, it happens a lot.

Yeah, he offered to fix him, basically. Now, Skaggs said that he was paying off vice squad officers, because they all knew about it, so they all had to keep their mouths shut, that he had paid off. And he was, he didn't know, basically, he had to pay, he was telling him, like, oh, he didn't know, basically, he was telling him, like, oh, I don't know, I need money for this guy, I need money for that guy.

He was trying to get a couple more out of Petillo and all this sort of shit. He was also trying to say, like, he was telling Petillo, like, you know, I'd be ashamed if you couldn't get your license renewed for your place. And he's trying to kind of strong-arm him. And so Petillo's saying he would love to do this because he needs to get out of jail he doesn't want this hanging over his head but he said you know he's going to have to sell his nightclub and that sort of thing to get the cash for this whole thing uh so basically he said he would uh he told patillo that he would have the

lawyer see patillo and that uh he'd have them reduced to simple assault by greasing the right party and he informed patillo that he wouldn't be in jail long and that he'd have them reduced to simple assault by greasing the right party. And he informed Petillo that he wouldn't be in jail long and that he'd have arrangements to have him out of jail quicker than he thought he was going to be out of jail. So they end up going to trial for Skaggs here. And Skaggs, the detective, he says that Petillo asked about the seriousness of the charge and said, quote, that's bad, ain't it? And then the detective said, he said, quote, he then asked me what I thought that we could do for him, whether there was some way he could get it reduced. And I said, I don't know. It isn't up to me to say. I'll have to take it up with the district attorney's office. And then he says, Petillo said, isn't there some way I can get to the other vice squad officer and give him a little extra money and square this whole thing away?

And at this point, the detective admitted he said, well, I don't know. I don't know who would have to be fixed on a thing like that. So he said even he admits to doing this whole thing. So it's basically now Petillo says that he tried to charge him a thousand dollars and that the charges for five hundred. So, yeah, he kind of walked him $1,000 and that the charge is for $500. So, yeah. He walked him back. He kind of walked him back a little bit, yeah. So, also, Skaggs said that,

Petillo said, oh, that's been done before. There's a lawyer that could fix it up. And he said, he tells, basically, he's telling the cop who he's going to need to pay off. He's like, look, I have a lawyer. We know how to do this. I know a guy.

We do this all the fucking time. He said that he paid $500 to certain police officers at one point to get his dance permit back for his club, I guess, to play loud music or whatever. He said following this, they had a couple more conversations about it, and the money ended up coming through. And this guy, this officer, this detective ended up basically trying to track down the Marines, because it was

his job to get the marines to drop the charges so they have to be on board yeah whether they were going to have to pay him off or whether they were going to have to talk to him or uh you know whatever uh patillo at one point said to him quote look skags there's something i wanted to ask you i wanted to ask you fellows but the other guy got sore i'll repeat that look skags there's something i wanted to ask you i wanted to ask the i wanted to ask the other fellows but the other guy got sore i'll repeat that look skags there's something i wanted to ask you i wanted to ask the i wanted to ask the other fellas but the other guy got sore he said when i was over in the country uh running the place i never had any troubles like this and i want to get lined up with the police and the guy said what do you mean and he said well if i can pay off the police so

they won't come in my place i'll get a long swell and the guy said how are you going to keep them out of your place and he said if i could get him to the right uh right guy give him a hundred dollars a month to keep out and he so then he told skags if you can do this for me i'll give you 100 bucks a month now too you could be my guy that'll you know my fixer guy that's gonna keep my wheels tell all the cops to stay the fuck away from my joint you know and i'd leave that guy alone here my mechanic in the passenger seat. Watch the gauges. That's the thing here. So none of this obviously is tape recorded.

There's a whole bunch of interviews. Basically, it comes down to $500. This guy gets convicted of this whole thing. Yeah. So Petillo said, quote, I don't care what you do. I'll fight it. And I don't want to have nothing. I don't want to have anything to do with this money that you want this $500 or fixing it

up with the Marines. And then the guy said, Petillo says that this guy insisted, I'll do it for $500, I'll do it for $500. And Petillo basically says this guy talked him into it at that point. So he says, the detective said to him, I'm going to see these Marines, and I'll give you 24 hours, 9 o'clock tomorrow night, and then I want you to have the money ready. 24 hours, 9 o'clock tomorrow night, and then I want you to have the money ready. So he says that, Petillo says that he's just sold his nightclub, and he was going to get a $500

deposit around 8 o'clock, and he said he would give it to him, give it to this cop. So basically, this took down this police detective as he ends up going through all these trials and everything. In court documents, because I found the appeal document from 1947

which is fucking amazing they talk about in the appeals how uh what a piece of shit patillo is it's fucking hilarious uh this this is so funny here let's let's find this exact thing because it's it's goddamn awesome uh he's convicted that the he appeals on grounds that patillo's a piece of shit that's his whole appeal you can't trust him right he's a piece of shit how could you trust him uh so this is what the this is what the court documents say the record wow the record herein forbids denial of the fact that at trial the profligate unmoral and more or less dissolute character of the witness patillo was established wow that's legally those are harsh words. The state of California says that he's a profligate, unmoral, and more or less dissolute character.

Ouch. That's awesome. A course of personal conduct was shown, his part that was not consistent with good morals. It was shown that he's been arrested on a charge of serving a minor with intoxicating liquor, a case which was settled out of court. Or, as one of the witnesses stated, the case was, quote, quote, clammed up, which means it was paid off. It was testified that Petillo, on one occasion,

struck a police officer in the eye, quote, when I had glasses on and broke the glasses and a piece went into my eye. That's the police officer. He admitted assaulting another officer the night of July 1st, when this whole thing happened he admitting assaulting a traffic officer when a guy tried to give him a ticket one time he also stated that he attacked a motor a motorcycle officer who once pulled him over for speeding uh he uh he said that uh he had to pay 300 for a civil suit in that

officer's trial and the trial against that officer uh It was also shown that he had boasted having fixed his difficulties with the law and paid $500 to certain officials to get his dance hall permit. Seven witnesses testified that Petillo's reputation for truth, honesty and integrity was terrible. They said it was established that Petillo's possessed a deep seated and abiding hatred for police officers with references to his testimony uh they said quote much of his testimony shows that he was unable to relate a conversation or fully relate events in chronicle chronological order or time basically he's a huge piece of shit is what they say but they still deny the case send this fucking guy back to prison so patillo's out on this whole thing he's fine detective goes to prison right so

uh july 1944 he is divorced his wife divorces him which took a lot back then yeah it's the 40s dude it's 1944 think about that but he's beating the shit out of cops he does it at home too he's got to his wife cites mental and physical cruelty you You got it. So, yeah, he beats his wife, calls her names, fucking drags her around. He's a dick. He's a dick. Yeah. He's a guy that's, yeah, he needs a trailer. Somewhere there's a trailer with a missing guy and a wife beater standing out front.

Give it time. As soon as that's all he can afford, that's where he'll be. That's exact. Well, we'll find out here in a minute. So he gets divorced. His wife says that he was also, in addition to mental and physical cruelty, he associated with other women and stayed out all night. She says, quote, he said that he did not like married life at all.

That's what she said he told him. She tells the court he listened to her testimony but did not oppose the suit custody of the two children were given to patillo to the mrs patillo good he's like i don't want those fucking kids so uh early 1945 a dancer at his nightclub here uh this is uh he gets his nightclub back and uh dancer at his nightclub claims she resisted Petillo's advances, and he beat her in the face severely. Of course he did. So he's arrested on assault charges here.

So that's not terrific, obviously. November 1945. Jesus Christ, man. This is insane, too. Petillo and his business associate, one of the guys who was an investor in his bar, picked up a young girl named Marie Cooper and gave her a ride. They offered her a car ride,

drove her to a deserted street, and attempted to rape her. Of course they did. Jesus Lord. Real nice. He was I don't know what Jesus Christ, man. You have crossed the fucking threshold now. Punch punching cops are one thing yeah but uh luring a girl into a car firing at marines indiscriminately that's crazy it's crazy it's

awful it's something this is what the fuck this is uh totally totally different thing yeah you wonder why your wife left well yeah he's like well my wife left me i'm free to rape and pillage yeah let's pick up some young girls to rape now what the fuck is going on with this goddamn guy here so yeah he's uh he's arrested for this yeah this charge after about two months uh that goes to trial yeah and at trial the uh victim accuser does not show up and will not return calls. She's horrified. She's horrified or he paid her off.

Right. I wouldn't be surprised if these two. I mean, back then you could give somebody a thousand dollars. It's a lot of fucking money. Don't you just don't show up. And they might not show up for it. So you either pay him off or this guy's a crazy bastard. He might have scared the shit out of her.

Who knows? Who knows? You know, that's the thing. You don't know. But I mean, what does he do at this point? He's fucked. I mean, he was an Indy 500 champion 10 years ago. He was the top of the world, top of his sport.

Now he's just constantly arrested. A scumbag. He's bribing police officers after he beats up Marines and then punches police officers. He's arrested for the scummiest behavior on Earth. Nightclub shit. Attempting to rape girls that are fucking insane. Also, beating up a dancer that doesn't want his sexual advances. What a scum.

This guy's like Harvey Weinstein if he was a physical threat. As far as with his fists. He'd punch a guy, too, in addition to take his dick out. And with zero ability to get you an Oscar. Yeah, he can't greenlight shit. No. Other than dancing in his club, maybe. That's about all.

You know, with the pasties on. Not even nude back then. I'm sure it wasn't allowed. No, it was some shitty burlesque show that no one wants to watch. Nobody's going to discover you there. No, no, no, no. Not in this place. Not in a place where Marines are beaten with bar stools by the owners at 1201. shitty burlesque show that no one wants to watch nobody's gonna discover you there no no no not in this place not in a place where marines are beaten with bar stools by the owners at 1201 that seems a

little that seems a little harsh so at this point he has no idea what to do with himself he's he's you know he's kind of he's kind of fucked here he's you know he's got all these charges he's got a terrible reputation um he's got his wife's gone. His kids don't want anything to do with him. He's an asshole. Bad stuff. Racing, they don't want anything to do with him either. It's pretty much over for him at this point.

He's like 42 years old. He hasn't raced in a few years. And I don't assume they really are thriving and really chomping at the bit to get this criminal back into their ranks. If only we could have him in there. Right. Then it would be better. Remember when he used to be here? Oh, things were so much better when he was here,

scaring the shit out of people and fucking slinging his Covino around. Right. At least he brought the homemade Covino every time he came to the track, which was very, very nice here. Yeah, you know, so it's all right, though. So he's totally fucked. He doesn't know what to do with himself. He leaves his bar in the middle of the night.

He's wandering the streets. He's tired. He's just confused. He doesn't know what to do. He's lonely at this point, too. He's also lonely. He doesn't know what to do. And then he hears in the distance some dogs barking.

He's like, what's that? And he turns around right on top of him. It sounded way farther away, but right on top of him, it's Bobby Colorado, animal trainer from Fredericksburg, Texas. And he says, how is it you come to arrive here? No, seriously, because I came here with the program. I don't know if you know, but back east, I know you you're from pittsburgh you've had a couple of are you are you just here on all right well listen listen guy i'll do for you listen guy i mean they sent

me we had to fucking you have no idea what this vince mcmahon's out of his fucking mind he's in the goddamn van it took estevez dexter dexter doesn't look at but he's pretty fucking tough when you put it you know put it right up to him dexter estevez dexter dexter doesn't look at but he's pretty fucking tough when you put it you know put it right up to him dexter estevez is the grandmother with the knife all these people to keep him in the goddamn van because he said this this is my i don't i don't do a good fucking vince mcmahon you know i mean he's like this guy over here he's pretty fucking good and i want to get him to put him fucking overalls on or something shit i don't know what he's talking about but it's crazy but they said me because it's you know get your shit together

look at me i got a nice fuck get a fucking dog get a couple of dogs teach them a couple of tricks two are real similar you rent them out you know what i mean i'm an animal trainer look at me la at the movies what are you doing you're beating up fucking nightclub dancers and marines with this get the fuck out of here what's wrong with you get your fucking life together i'm not gonna say it again start over next time i'll send vince mcmahon all right he's gonna be a pain in your balls trust me let's do it but uh and poof in a cloud of dog shit and marinara sauce he's gone and uh we have to explain and then cavino's very confused yeah kelly we have to explain by the way one of our listeners and this has happened a couple times but one of our listeners who we've talked to a bunch who came to a few of our shows here uh in houston he he stopped at bobby colorado's house okay he's driving through

it's outside of austin fredericksburg fredericksburg texas and he said he's driving and he saw the sign he's like oh my god is that i gotta meet him so he pulled in here and it's like a big property like a house and then there's training grounds and things and he said he goes up and it's like a big property with like a house and then there's like training grounds and things and he said he goes up and there's somebody working there and he said you know is this Bobby Colorado's place and they're like yeah like fans don't come gushing at the door

often and he goes and our guy goes I can just call him Mike I'm not going to give away his whole name here in case he doesn't want it but Mike says to him can I call him mike i'm not going to give away his whole name here in case he doesn't want it but mike says to him uh can i meet him and they go well it's a her first of all it's a she it's a she it's bobby with an eye and i don't know if she's here i guess right so this guy goes and finally they come back with bobby colorado the animal trainer. There she is. And he's like, look, okay. I didn't expect you to look like this.

I have to get a picture with you. I don't, by the way, do you have like shirts I could buy? And she's like, no, they don't have merch. You have merch for me to buy? You have merch at your house with the animal training? Do you have any like, I don't know, pasta sauce or something? She has something. And she said, my employees have like our shirts for the, but I don't have like t-shirts that I sell. And she's like or something? Yeah, something. And she said, my employees have our shirts, but I don't have T-shirts that I sell. And she's like, she didn't understand it.

And he's like, look, there's this podcast. There's this thing that happens. And you're like this Italian guy who's in the witness protection program, and you've got a bunch of dogs, and you try to tell these criminal athletes to straighten out their lives. And when you explain it that way with no context, makes very little sense oh i'm sure she's like could you could you please leave could you please can we get him the fuck out of here please she's like winking at people like get them the fuck because i mean in the context of the show it

makes perfect sense but if you try to explain it to a stranger the stranger why i want to take a picture with you that does not go over well. He said that she was just very confused and just was very happy when he left. That's all there was to it. She wasn't like, oh, neat. She's like, what? What the hell are you saying? She said somebody else came by a couple months ago and said a similar thing.

He's not the first. Poor Bobby. We've confused an older lady who's very good at training animals. We've confused the living fuck out of this lady. Two assholes drove by her place in the middle of the night. And I'm like, what the fuck did that just say? And I'm just like, oh. For the next three hours, I'm like, oh, it's fucking Bobby Colorado.

Hey, you know, I'm in Frederick, Texas now. And the next thing you know, here it is. So, yeah, those charges for the last crime was the attempted rape in the car. Right. There. Now, 1946, he's charged with speeding and check fraud, and it causes a huge public fight between a prosecutor and a judge. What?

So, so far now, he's gotten a police detective taken down, now a prosecutor and a judge. These, apparently, they had fought in an election, and they hate each other. Oh, I love it. And this judge here. The latest incident between them, according to this paper, was a jailing of Kelly Petillo. Petillo was one of three motorists who was picked up by the state police on Road 67. I don't even know what that, Road 67. That's the 67th one.

Apparently so. Right. It was a speeding charge. Kelly wasn't even driving at the time, but he was sent to jail anyway, and they said that he was, he had to, they kept him there in the jail because they found a handful of summons summonses from California. And this was so the judge judge said that Kelly and his companions were not guilty of the violations. And it's so weird here.

So anyway, the whole point was there was a thousand dollar check. Petillo said that Jesus Christ, this is hard to explain. Petillo was in the possession of a bank cashier's check for a thousand dollar check patillo uh said that jesus christ this is hard to explain patillo was in the possession of a bank cashier's check for a thousand dollars now this was supposed to have been brought to indiana to purchase a car to buy bring back to california but it turned out to be uh it turned out to be they were using it for other purposes it became known that they had a thousand dollars and they became as they put in the paper popular with several members of the bar yeah that they were hanging out free booze yeah they're gonna buy rounds here yeah a thousand bucks was a lot so he told one member of the uh of of this people here that he'd been uh he'd been

about a bit and then he – it's so weird. So anyway, they searched – the point is the judge searched Indiana law and found no place where driving 85 miles an hour on the highway is illegal, quote, when prudent. And they set his pals free. There was no speed limit on the highway, apparently, and they said he was going too fast. Now, they're fighting. The judge and the prosecutor are fighting here.

And they were exchanging, quote, insulting epithets in court with each other, which sounds amazing here. The prosecutor's held in contempt and assessed a $200 fine and a 48-hour jail sentence here. That's the thing about judges. Yeah, they won they've got the the trump card that's you lose right away that means you gotta do whatever they say it sucks that's you're done they just take you away all right shit i didn't do anything did too i forgot i can't say that yeah all right they're like they're like texas state troopers they just they they rule the land they fucking whatever they say goes yeah uh so the the prosecutor said quote if there's any investigation

to be done it should be of this court as he screamed as he was dragged out of the court by bailiffs which is fucking hilarious here uh yeah so they they uh they fought for a judgeship or something and hated each other so may 1946 1946, what does Kelly want to do? It's like, Jesus Christ, I've been through the ringer here. This nightclub business is tough. You know what I think I'll do? I think I'll run the Indy 500. He's going to go back.

Is he going to run it or is he going to drive it? He's going to run the infield. He's jogging around it. He goes back to the Indy 500 and they go fuck no we're not letting you in you haven't raced in years right you're a fucking lunatic and a menace to society in general just a general menace to polite polite and impolite society you're just an asshole no so he sues them uh for 50 grand uh fifty thousand dollar damage suit was filed by him for not allowing him to participate not For not allowing him, yeah.

They said that the Speedway is, quote, attempting to control the outcome of the 1946 race by elimination of him from competition. So they said, he said, you know, if I'm there, then obviously their guy can't win. Because I'm going to win. Because I'm me. Because I'm going to take it. Because I'm insane. Because I'm the best. because I'm going to win because I'm me because I'm going to take because I'm insane I'm the best yeah he said that he attempted to enter a car into the race but that the uh that the speedway

quote under a pretext refused the entry he said that his uh he said his suit is said he quote is feared by many of the drivers this is what he says in his court documents that they didn't want him in because he was going to win he's feared by many of the drivers because of his fearless, daring competency. Wow, that's some way of putting it here. Daring competency. Fearless competency is a weird two words to put together. Yeah. He said the Speedway.

He said the plaintiff is the Speedway had said that, quote, the plaintiff is incapable of driving a race car in response, which, I mean, he did win 10 years ago. He's capable of driving it. Maybe not. Well, 10 years ago. Yeah. So December 1946, he's arrested again here. Not shocking for traffic violations and assaulting a police officer again. He just does not give a shit he's arrested for let's see driving while intoxicated

speeding failing to make a boulevard stop making an illegal u-turn and failure to have a registration so pretty much a lot everything you can get arrested for while driving everything other than not having wheels on your car that's the only thing i think he missed this is this is it here uh they arrest him and while at the police station booking him, he punches an officer vineyard in the face and breaks his nose. God, he's good at this. He's a fucking... He just sucker punches people and breaks their nose.

He loves punching cops. He says he was defending himself. Why? Which is tough against cops. She said that the cops just jumped him for no reason in the police station, and he had to defend himself. Okay. Which, that's what...

When cops beat on you, the problem is you can't defend yourself, because then they beat on defend himself. Okay. Which, that's what, when cops beat on you, the problem is you can't defend yourself because then they beat on you worse. Right. And then, and then they say he took a swing at us

and then you're in more trouble. So, it's bad. That's why cops shouldn't be beaten on people. Yeah. That's why it's tough when cops beat on you. That's why that's like

a super abusive power because you can't say I was fighting back. There's nothing you can do. Right. Yeah. Can't say he hit me first with a cop. Right. You know, they're like, yeah, then he can hit you as much as he wants because he's a cop. You can't hit I was fighting back. There's nothing you can do. Yeah. Can't say he hit me first with a cop. Right.

They're like, yeah, then he can hit you as much as he wants because he's a cop. You can't hit him back. That's the fucking point of the whole thing. So the trial for this is continued three different times. It's delayed three different times in early 1947. So finally, in April of 1947, he goes to trial. Trial lasts more than two hours. There's testimony from the officer who he punched, other officers who watched it.

They declared that the defendant was belligerent at the time of his arrest at Fifth Street and Mount Vernon Avenue. He struck Officer Vineyard, breaking his nose when they attempted to book him, which is fucking hilarious. Now, there's a testimony on his behalf, and that is from a young lady who I'd like you to remember. It is his secretary with his whole operation.

Her name is Naomi Roberts. Remember the name Naomi? Her last name will change. Naomi Roberts of San Diego uh he is also it's also his girlfriend at the time oh no uh naomi she's a pretty young blonde yeah who has no business with this fucking doughy guinea right put it that way uh now uh she says here uh she testifies that they were uh that that she was also at the police station when he was brought in and she saw vineyard throttle and strike kelly uh before kelly retaliated and vineyard emphatically denies

hitting him first uh patillo testified that he had been driven uh that he drove from san diego to san bernardino then to los ang, and back on the night of his arrest. He said he wasn't intoxicated. He was just very tired because he was driving around, and he said that he had several drinks in Los Angeles, but he wasn't intoxicated. He's just been up all night driving and drinking, but he's not intoxicated. That doesn't make any sense. Officers testified they found a half-empty bottle of liquor in his car also, in addition to all this.

He's found guilty. Yeah. So, yeah. He is granted, you, sir, may fuck off probation for beating the shit out of a cop. For being a cop drunk. With a long criminal record.

Wow. Yeah, that's the thing. He could have got jailed just for the shit he did on the road, never mind punching the guy. He's lucky to be alive. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Found guilty.

$50 fine on the battery charge of the cop. $50 for punching a cop in the guy. He's lucky to be alive. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Found guilty. $50 fine on the battery charge of the cop. $50 for punching a cop in the nose. He also found him guilty of driving while intoxicated, speeding, and failing to make a boulevard stop. And fined him a total of $100 or 50 days in the county jail, whichever he wants to do here. Yeah, so he's acquitted of making an illegal U-turn and failing to have a registration. He's acquitted there. He doesn't have the money right then. The judge grants him a stay on the sentence until noon the next day when he said he could

get the $150 then to not go to county jail. So you think he's going to calm the fuck down here? You would imagine so. so well he's been caught there's a punishment for what he's for his behavior at this he's on the record is just a complete jackass at this point and that was 47 now july 1st 1948 he's a wanted man uh-oh uh nobody knows where he is and he's on the lam uh there's a there's well let's just give you the newspaper headline of the day quote patillo auto race driver hunted as a slasher of woman oh he's slashing women now let's talk about this shit yeah uh police are alerted uh that he uh he's basically uh he he has a 12 year old car

that he might be fleeing in he could be anywhere it's for slashing the face of his former secretary mrs naomi his old secretary testified for him now named schaffner who just got married why would he do that she's 25 years old you dick 25 years old described as a pretty blonde yeah uh yeah mrs schaffner is the daughter of a minister in lebanon indiana you can't slash the minister's daughter in the 1940s christ almighty are you kidding me uh and a mother of two children by a former marriage sliced her face patillo said that patillo quote cut her from temple to chin with a razor blade in his room in a downtown hotel because she refused to return to him after breaking off a romance oh that's a big one that's fucking crazy yeah that's fucking crazy we'll talk about how this happened her and her new husband roy schaffner uh who's a welder he's 29 years old at the time

now he's dead um more than likely uh very dead probably he'd be 100 years old more than 100 if he wasn't dead they were living in this hotel uh and schaffner was asleep the husband when naomi was called to patillo's room uh uh by a call and she just got a call that quote an old friend wanted to see her but didn't say it was patillo patillo had checked into the name into the hotel under an alias of joe mayo okay so uh once she got there uh he barred her uh he he stopped letting her didn't want to let her leave uh this is fucking nuts man uh didn't want to let her leave she uh he beat her and slashed her uh she yeah he checked into the hotel to uh to lure her there got her to the room attacked her and screamed why her. Yeah, he checked into the hotel to lure her there, got her to the room, attacked her,

and screamed, why did you do me like you did, and slashed her face. What the fuck? This is crazy. She said she slumped to the floor, and then he disappeared and took off. So this is fucking nuts. She had to go to the hospital,

received 40 stitches in her face, and she was reported in a fair condition. Police talked to her, and she also said that he sent two letters in the past year threatening to kill her and that she would have never known gone if she knew that it was him there. It's the Roosevelt Hotel at Capitol Avenue and Ohio Street here. Fuck, man. This is crazy shit. So he's going to be obviously charged uh with some crimes as you you might imagine here he's charged assault with a deadly weapon it is uh assault

and battery with intent to kill so basically attempted murder right is what that is uh so also in the same newspaper article i found and this is fucking hilarious okay this is way funnier than slashing a poor young woman here uh a a guy who called himself a bishop this was just a newspaper article from the 40s here a bishop of the soul-saving army of america okay this is church was held for a two thousand dollar bond for investigation following his arrest on a vagrancy charge late thursday afternoon after he had not made bond he's a guy named leroy strickland he's 54 he said he wrote on a piece of paper quote since my arrest i've been stricken with a chronic nervous affliction and cannot talk anymore so he can't be questioned that's what they're saying here he uh he had 100 he had a dollar

70 on him that's what he told he told police he had $1.70 on him. That's what he told police. He only had $1.70 on him. And they searched his pockets to reveal $301.70. Oh, that's a lot. And then they searched his trailer home and found another $406.04. And basically, he is being questioned for traveling around the country, bilking people out of money. He's like a roaming tent bullshit preacher is what he is. He's a slime ball.

And he's a slime ball. And now he doesn't know how to talk. And he's lost the gift of speech. Which is pretty fucking amazing. I don't want to talk about it. So Kelly, by the way, he didn't get arrested for that. They have charges out for him, but they can't find him. He's on the lam. He's him. He's on the lam.

He's running. He's on the lam. He's running. So July 4th, Independence Day, 1948, in Owasso, Michigan, he runs. He gets in a race in public while he's wanted by the police. It's a 100-mile race. He wins the race. He wins a $113 prize, which is hilarious.

He's in the winner's circle he gets out of the car he stands next to the car they start taking all sorts of pictures and then the sheriff comes over and fucking arrests him because he's an idiot he's literally standing there while the newspaper takes pictures of him while he's wanted for slashing a fucking young girl's face that's amazing the fucking hubris on this guy they won't get the sheriff said too this is as close as you can get to being pulled over while racing yeah i would say yeah the sheriff said they knew he was racing and they were just found out about they were like well we'll just wait for him to finish and then we'll arrest him we'll know where he's going to be and he won and he won

they were like even better so there's newspaper pictures of like him smiling one second and the next second a police officer like grabbing him by the arm and him looking over hilarious what do you need sir yeah uh it's so fucking funny which they were called it was like a big comeback race they were calling him the cinderella man oh that's the jesus the press made a big deal oh my god the guy that won the 500 12 years ago or 13 years ago and he's back and he's gonna he's racing again then they're like because he's dragged away by police except he stabs women it's fucking amazing uh yeah uh this is fucking ridiculous so uh they give him a bath in the jail house to to get the race grit off of him and then uh they in a long distance telephone interview

with the indianapolis star he says he doesn't know anything about the case he's going to fight extradition uh he says uh that he uh you know he said that he was arrested and he doesn't understand why he doesn't get it he doesn't know anything about it he they asked him if he was at the roosevelt hotel last tuesday and he said quote why i haven't been there for weeks also I lost my ability to speak why I haven't been there for weeks and uh by the way you got a pen very nervous uh he said quote she's just trying to pin something on me see see it's amazing the way they speak it's so funny he said that he was in Indiana Indianapolis last Tuesday, but he never went in the hotel.

He said, I stayed at a motel on West Washington Street. I don't know anything about it. He claims that he was sleeping peacefully on Washington Sleep, Washington Street there in the motel when before 3 a.m. Before 3 a.m. Uh, uh, before 3am, uh, when this is when she claims that a bellboy, cause the woman Naomi says that a bellboy knocked on her door and told her an old friend wants to see you downstairs. He said, I was asleep when that shit happened. Uh, she says the bellboy led her to a second floor room and then Patillo pulled her into

the room, punched her and said, why did you do me like that? And slashed her in the fucking face. So crazy. Uh, uh, they told him of the charges and patillo said quote that's good i don't know then she says then he says why why this is amazing quote why i didn't beat her up he said well a couple of months this is amazing jesus christ why i didn't beat her up why a couple of muscle men started to beat me up twice during the last month and I think she had something to do with it.

A couple of muscle men. Why? He started the sentence out that was not a question with why twice in a row. Why I didn't beat her up. Why a couple of muscle men started to beat me up twice during the last month and I think she had something to do with it. So he's saying not only did I not beat her up, she's actually responsible for trying to get people to fuck me

up. She's sending goons. Yeah. Now, she said that Petillo had beaten her several times while she worked for him in California as a secretary. He just beat her all the time. And yeah, so that was it. He said that she would throw a phone at her in the past. He's beat her. He's threw phones at her and all sorts of shit.

He says he's not going to waive extradition he says quote if they let me go i'll be back in indianapolis in seven hours can't wait to race can't wait to race he said i'd planned on racing quite a bit up around here i'm broke and need that money that's what he said uh it's amazing he gets arrested while winning a fucking race uh yeah they said said that the sheriff said deputies went to the track right as the race started, but the sheriff gave the deputies, quote, I gave the deputies permission to let him race. I don't know. I wanted to see how he did. Maybe he'll die.

Maybe he'll go up in a fireball. Wouldn't that be amazing? End of story. Wouldn't that be great? Yeah, he's ejected into the infield. Oh, well. Story over. His body lands on the eye of the Indy 500. Jesus. story would that be great yeah he's ejected into the infield oh well story over so uh he did body lands on the eye of the indy 500 jesus christ man patillo said quote i can't understand all the roar

i can't understand all the roar over this this is great why i even i even i can't understand all the roar over this why i even had been on a radio program here advertising the race he's like i'm not hiding why i'm not even hiding i gotta start doing that start everything why i just went down there why we started this at 2 12 30 at night so uh yeah he uh jesus fucking christ man so uh yeah he insisted that he often uses the name Joe Mayo and that if there was someone in the hotel by that name, Naomi could have pinned it on him because she was the secretary and his girlfriend and knows the alias he uses. She books him sometimes. That's the thing. His attorney said it was common for he's a celebrity.

His attorney said it's very common for celebrities to use stage names or aliases when they check into places, you know, so the masses don't come to bother this nightclub owner who beats Marines and slashes women and tries to rape dancers and shit, you know, very high demand for him. The lobby will be full. It's like the Beatles screaming teenagers for a fat middle aged fucking criminal. Jesus Christ, man. She Naomi says that she was married after she stopped working for patillo as a secretary then she started getting threatening notes from him saying quote i'll kill you or scar

you for life unquote that's quite the letter fuck this is fucked up right how fucked up is this that letter is scarring enough i'll kill you or scar you for life is scary. Yeah, that's right. That's even like, wow, this guy just really wants to hurt me. The whole thing is shocking. Yeah, but not nearly as shocking as the sales. Jimmy. More sales.

That's right. If you happen to be in Milwaukee, Wisconsinisconsin like we'll be for small town murder next month uh live sold out so fuck it we don't have to plug it night in 1948 yeah if you happen to go back in time all the way to 1948 and you happen to see a spiegel's department store i'd like you to stop in and get a portable two-way radio for $24.95. You can get yourself a portable camp ice box that's watertight, holds eight pounds of ice, rust-proof lining, Jimmy, $4.95 here. You can get a folding cot. It folds compactly, $4.65.

Fine for camping, it says. $4.65 fine for camping it says you can get you a level wind casting reel for $3.98 or a tough cover golf ball $0.49 each or three for $1.20

that seems like a deal course master balls lots of life it says stick around 13 years and kick Jeffrey Dahmer's mom in the belly do that too it'll be really weird at the time and you'll probably get sent to jail for it Lots of life, it says. I'll still stick around 13 years and kick Jeffrey Dahmer's mom in the belly. Do that, too. Yeah. It'll be really weird at the time, and he'll probably get sent to jail for it.

He'll be like, you just kicked this pregnant woman. That's crazy. I promise. You're doing us a favor. But it's worth it. Trust me. So I also found in this paper a list of the highest-priced actors with the highest-paid actors at the time. In 1947?

Made in 1948. Oh, I can't wait. After their tiles. We'll just do the top couple uh highest priced actresses uh heady lamar really heady lamar was the highest priced actor highest earning actor completely more than the highest priced male actor as well 279 800 for one movie for no for the year for the year for the year but i mean that's like making $5 million now, basically. That's a lot.

Maureen O'Hara made $199,000. A couple people we've heard of. Shirley Temple made $135,541. There, Marlene Dietrich and Barbara Stanwyck made $100,000 each. Ginger Rogers made $84,478. Now, actors, Cary Grant made $278,125. So, less than Hedy Lamarr. Bob Hope made $275,000.

Bob Hope was killing it, wasn't he? Oh, absolutely. Forever. He had a big television contract. Danny Kaye made $133,000. Danny Kaye. Which is pretty good here. So, yeah, not too shabby.

Now, Petillo's held in jail for three months on five thousand dollars bond because he's unable to come up with five thousand dollars bond and he's unable to hire his own attorneys he has to go with a public defender so uh july january 18th uh 1949 here uh he uh is going to court he will be convicted of assault and battery with intent to kill, which is not good here. Now, in court, for the sentencing comes along. Naomi is in court with a big giant scar from her temple to her chin. Pretty blonde girl with a big giant scar that you caused is not going to go well in court. From her temple to her chin.

Temple to her chin. That's a fucking fish hook fish hook yeah just across her face wow like a fucking gangster that's some crazy gangster shit my god uh yeah uh patillo uh he said that he was uh he said he didn't do it and the judge tells him he asked he he pleads with the judge to reconsider the case he says i didn do it. But the judge says there's no question who inflicted the wound here. He says, quote, there can be no question about who inflicted the wound. The only question is whether you did it with an intent to kill her. But you definitely did it.

You, sir, may fuck off. He will be sentenced to one to ten years in prison that's a okay it's a big window yeah that's a big cable company missing space there's a lot so yeah he is sentenced to that uh naomi is scarred for life yeah she testifies against him one to ten years in prison okay which doesn't seem like, I don't know. Not near enough. Not for a guy with this kind of record. You go down his record and you're like, you've been arrested for punching police officers so often.

Also a guy who has threatened to do something and then fucking did it. Yeah. Plus just, I don't know, one to ten, I'd just go, how much can I give this idiot? Because he's an asshole. Can we do that? I mean, this guy's got a fucking kid at this point that's about 22 years old yeah imagine that poor bastard who shares his fucking name and that's embarrassing man i feel bad for him i feel bad for all these people jimmy but not nearly as bad as i feel for kelly patillo oh boy electronics derivative sales trader and associate at City Bank in the New York City metropolitan area. She went to Rutgers, Jimmy. Kelly Petillo, the MENA program coordinator at European Council on Foreign Relations in

London, England. That sounds important. And finally, Kelly Petillo, an interior designer from Spain. So our second mistaken identity interior designer ever here. Not too shabby. Mistaken identity interior designer ever here. Not too shabby. So he's sent to prison in 49 and he is kept for six years.

Oh, good. They didn't let him out after one. The judgment, apparently in prison, he was a real asshole too. I'm sure. And caused a lot of trouble. I mean, imagine if this guy, you have this guy who's got this quick temper, isn't scared of fighting Marines and cops and everything else. and you put him in an environment with a bunch of other guys. He's a survivor.

We're trying to take advantage of each other. He's going to fucking, just a short temper. Somebody does one little thing. You move my comb, he's going to fucking beat them with the closest object. He's going to melt the comb down. That's probably true. Make a shiv. Sharpen it.

Yeah. He's the shiv. Yeah, yeah. Kelly the shiv Petrilla. He can finally live up to his name. Kelly the shiv. I don't know if we want to put Kelly the shiv kelly the shiv patrilla he can finally live up to his name kelly the shiv i don't know if we want to put kelly and kelly the shiv and gen pop do we i think we'll keep him to himself right find the right place to be though kelly the shiv uh august 29th 1955 he is paroled okay finally part of his parole agreement is he's not allowed

in indiana okay stay the fuck out of indiana you asshole he's allowed to go back to california to his home he can stay the fuck out of indiana how big of a piece of shit you gotta be for indiana to not want you yeah you could tell me i'm never allowed in indiana again and i go all right that's fine that's deal that's cool it's easy bye make sure i don't have a connection in the Indianapolis airport. I think we might be going to Indianapolis next year in 2020. Maybe. I'd want to go there.

I'd like to see it. But after that, you know. Never again. Never again. Take it or leave it. So I'm just kidding. So August 29th, 1955 is when he's paroled. May of 1956. uh is when he's paroled may of 1956 now he was paroled to his son who is now dr kelly patillo jr he's a very respected dentist at this point yeah he's done very well for himself

enough to where the the judge tasked him with keeping watch over his father keep an eye on this day paroled into the custody of his son how sad is that shit but this is one of the best junior outcomes we've ever had though certainly he's a doctor for crazy i'm not driving shit there's still travesty because i'm going to school right yeah uh he said they asked him where might your father be and he said he'll probably head for the track that's what he said look at the tracks and that's where you're gonna find him he's on the lam for a whole another year what a complete a whole year he's on the lam for fucking a year wanted by the cops missing from parole may 24th 1957 he uh is arrested at the indianapolis 500 what was he doing there? Watching? Showed up looking for a car to drive. Oh, my God.

What are you talking about? A car to drive? What the fuck are you talking about? You haven't been in this race in fucking 20 years. You can't just show up and say... Anybody here got a car? How y'all doing? I'm wanted for all sorts of...

No, I'm on parole. Give an old fellow one. Now, why I deserve a race. Why I deserve why i deserve another race see why give me a chance why give me a chance fellow they're like you're talking like you're from the 20s we can't give you a chance holy shit showed up look literally was like who's got a car i can use i'm kelly patillo remember me i won this shit they're like what when oh 22 years ago you know pre-war all right like that doesn't what nice helmet pussy yeah nice pussy that's great where's your sweater and your fucking tie you guys race without shirts and ties what the fuck is this sport coming to

nice jumps you're not even gonna catch on fire. He tries to go there like a wrestler going under a mask. Lost a loser to leave a town match. It's not me. I swear. Wow. So 1957, the state prison parole board adds 11 months and 29 days to a sentence for this. It's a parole violation this mean his uh this is one to uh 10 year sentence which would have expired in early 1959 will now run until january 15th 1960 so now he's got that going on

february 1958 he wants to be released he has a hearing for his release uh he claims that he was uh that he was illegally arrested uh and was denied extradition. He said he signed no waiver for a return to where he was there and was represented by incompetent counsel. Oh, boy. I'm innocent. Right. By the way, you got a car I can use to race around this track? I've been railroaded.

I've been railroaded. By the way. I railroaded myself and now you guys have done it too i once hit a railroad with my car so yeah uh they go you know you're a fucking idiot denied so february 1959 he wants out of jail this would have been after his 10 years expired he's saying that he's being held for an extra year on bullshit they weren't allowed to do that is what he says uh he's denied a new trial then though uh he said that he wants a habeas corpus hearing he says quote i was sentenced to one to ten years on january 17th 1949 the way i see it the way i see it see i see the way i see it the race was over on january 17th 1959

but they've still got me, see? That's what he says. We're still running laps around here. He literally said, the way I see it, the race was over on January 17th, 1959. See? Wow. The parole board is requiring him to serve out 22 months that he was on parole. That's what he was on the lam, fucking missing.

He says, quote, the parole board told me i'd get special treatment because i was a big shot that's what he says now he's trying to he's trying to blow up the spot of the parole board and he's trying to go don't you know who i am he then said well he then said quote i said i'm no big shot i just won the 500 one time so he was trying to be like hey i'm just one of the regular people here they tried to say he's a big shot they tried to say they tried to treat me like i'm some kind of big shot i'm a big deal a regular guy i'm just a guy i can't even get one of my dancers to have sex with me i beat her up that's how bad i am slash her damn face i have to make up to get a fake name to get my ex-girlfriend to come see me so i can slash her face you know

how hard that is jesus now when he gets to court in court is uh uh is the old prosecutor from the uh case the original case where he slashed his girlfriend's face uh he says quote i'm not bitter i figure i was i i figure i was railroaded on a bum rap he said it he said that he said quote but i'm not bitter i figure i was railroaded on a bum rap. I had some good days like in 35. This is what he said. So, yeah, some good days. He said, they're all gone now, though. Yeah, we know.

We know that, mister. March 3rd, 1959. He's still trying to get another hearing to get out of jail here. Now, state parole officials had added the year, like we said. But he said they never proved bad time. They never proved that Petillo incurred bad time during his parole violation. So they said he's trying to say I didn't do anything, basically. But he did. He returned to Indiana.

Anyway, the judge overrules a motion for freedom here on him and says no. for freedom here on him and says no. They said that his lawyer said that he was denied justice and that he recommends a full pardon, as a matter of fact.

He said, I think we should just pardon this guy. Apologize to him. Give the man his razor blade back. What are we talking about here? Matter of fact, does anyone have a car

he can drive in the 500 because he's really ready, I think. The governor said he was overwhelmed with legislative affairs but promised a full investigation of the patillo case now march 23rd 1959 this is like two weeks later the governor was not fucking around uh he somehow pushes some shit through the court to get patillo released on march 23rd 1959 so it went from no way no chance in hell to the governor saying you're out in fucking a matter of weeks yeah which is bonkers re-election campaign donation something happened i don't know he was a fan of the races i don't know what it was

i was at that race in 35 it was magical it's a big day for me as a kid his stocking clad head going around that track over and over again boy he had the best wins or not in the whole bunch so uh he's released from prison guess what he wants to do yeah drive wants to race yeah yeah he wants to race he said that he was uh he's complaining in public he said he was held beyond the maximum sentence how dare they obviously he said time is running out though now that i'm free the whole thing would be better if it was just forgotten yeah most people that slash some poor fucking woman's face probably would like the whole thing to be forgotten eventually it also would be better if it didn't happen be better people didn't bring up that whole slashing a girl's face for no reason thing

that i did there back there uh so he got his release from prison he said his is he has immediate plans to return to racing he is currently 56 years old which is a little old for racing you're you know i mean not old but for uh reaction times and reflexes when you're going 180 miles an hour is a different fucking story behind the wheel of a vehicle for hours on end. Yeah, it's not. You got to pee at some point. Your body's different. There you go, too. What have your prostate?

How much do you pee? You rattle your prostate right at you. That's got to be all day. Yeah. So he said that he was jacked about the potential of a supercharged automatic valve two-cylinder internal combustion engine that he's perfecting. That's what he said he wanted to do. Supercharged automatic valve two-cylinder internal combustion engine that he's perfecting. That's what he said he wanted to do. Supercharged automatic valve two-cylinder internal combustion engine.

I don't know what the fuck any of that is. How many cylinders? Oh, no, I'm sorry. Supercharged automatic valve two-cycle internal combustion engine. Not two-cylinder. I don't know. It doesn't say. Two-cycle is just like a fucking two-stroke.

Yeah, I know. It's like a dirt bike. Right. Your car is a four stroke yeah supercharged automatic valve two cycle internal combustion engine a supercharged two two stroke jesus that's gotta be fast yeah i don't know he said he's perfecting it okay he said his main interest is getting a chassis to which to test the motor yeah quote prior to the 500 next year oh god he wants to run that well you what why is he doing that uh he said quote i've got lots of work to do and i'll have to be hustling he's 56 years old uh yeah he said that uh he told his tentative plans to drive the stock car circuit to raise

money for promotion of his quote v-shaped engine okay so he's got like a... It's a V-twin. It's a V-twin. Or a four... He said he's perfecting it. Four-cylinder? He's running the Southern Circuit right now, running on dirt tracks and shit to get returned to the Speedway. Future plans include a promise that he will be a promoter

at the Stock Track in Las Vegas, which is set to open in June. He wants to put his name on that. You got to go into business with him. He says, quote, if that all works out, quote, I'll be back in the groove within a year. Oh, Jesus. See? Back in the groove.

He said he was, yeah, he again says he didn't slash that girl's face. He said he's getting his motor squared away and hopes to drive the stock circuit for about a year. They asked about, what about that you haven't driven in the fucking Indian like 25 years? Isn't that weird? And he says, I don't think it'll give me too much trouble it's just what he said he said in the stock races quote aren't as tough as the 500 miler but he thinks he'll be he'll be fine well i've done this before i have done this before he says he drew up rough plans for the engine during his first stretch in prison and had revved up the engine several times after a year of construction before his return to Indiana.

He says, quote, I was, and still am awfully nervous about it. His chance to go to Indy. Uh, they, he said that,

uh, uh, warden, the warden asked him about his nervousness about, and he said, quote, you'd be nervous too. If you had the tension I've been under waiting for this.

Uh, now no one met him upon his release from prison not his kids not anybody he just walked out is that everybody taxi is the bus run past here i guess uh prison officials said quote i don't know what he's going to do but if i know him it will have something to do with racing so may 1959 he wants to race in the 500 this year they tell him fuck no no they haven't raced in forever so he sues them again again he sues them filed circuit in court uh filed court and filed suit in circuit court jesus christ it is 2 41 a.m

uh yeah he won the memorial uh he won it in fucking 1935. He's asking for $50,000 in damages, charging that the Speedway and USAC officials refused to let him enter this year's race. He claims he went to the Speedway May 11th to fill out his entry blank and pay his fees, but that Henry Banks, the director of the USAC, denied him permission to do so. Oh, Jesus, what a rat bastard. That fucking bastard. Rat think? I'll slash his face and beat his corpse with a bar stool. Yeah, he's pissed off, obviously. This case is dismissed.

So 1960, he tries to do it again. They deny him again, and it's fucking dismissed again. He sues again for $50,000. He's got to stop this. And again, well, he does. After that, he kind of gives up on it. He has a few more. He races a drop throughout the next 10 years or so on some dirt shit and stuff like that,

where he can get a car to drive. Never does anything much more. On June 30, 1970, he dies of emphysema. Oh, no, he's a super smoker. Yeah, well, yeah, and who knows? The engines probably didn't help either. Oh, I'm sure of it. Fucking shooting out black soot at him. Two strokes. Oh, he's a super sloker. Yeah, well, yeah. And who knows? The engines probably didn't help either. Oh, I'm sure. Fucking shooting out black soot at him.

Two strokes. Oh, fuck. But he dies of emphysema on June 30th, 1970. But that's not the last time we'll hear about him. Because in 1988, he's elected to the National Italian-American Sports Hall of Fame. What the fuck? Yep. How thin is that pool, James? Listen, everybody, our roster is not deep, okay?

You have to think about this. Think about this really, how many last names to start with. Okay, all we have, we have baseball. We have DiMaggio, we have Yogi Berra, there's a lot of great Italian baseball players, a ton of them, they go back. Every fucking manager. Half the World Series rings are held by Italian managers, okay?

We're good at that shit. A lot of good baseball players. But even then, that died out kind of in the, you know. And then now there was the boxers. We had Rocky Marciano. We had Graziano. We had these guys in the 40s and 50s. You hear any of any Italian boxers lately?

Not lately. Paul Spadafora. Remember him? Yeah. A few episodes back. Didn't work lately? Not lately. Paul Spadafora. Remember him? Yeah. A few episodes back. Didn't work out great. Didn't fucking work out that great.

He had Jimmy Garoppolo playing for the Niners. We had Garoppolo. How many fucking Italian footballers? Once in a while you'll get a quarterback in there.

Once a Dan Marino, a Garoppolo. Every two decades you'll get an Italian quarterback or something. But nope. We just don't. You don't think Brady's

family was the Bradyopolos? I don't think they were the Bradyolios and then they fucking shortened it no and then basketball yeah how many fucking six foot eleven italian guys do you fucking know how many italian guys do you know they're all five eight they're not six fucking eight so that's the other thing so we're not gonna get a lot of those either so what do we get get? Who gots? We get this fucking guy. He won the Indy 500. He's going in.

I don't care if he slashed a girl's face. Slash the son of a bitch. Fine. It's been 40 years is enough. Fine. Stick him in. But he's also, in 2009, he is inducted into the National Sprint Car Hall of Fame as well. He's running sprint cars.

He's running sprint cars. Yeah. And he's inducted into the Hall of Fame there. And Oh. He's running sprint cars. He's running sprint cars, yeah. And he's inducted into the Hall of Fame there. And he does, so that's a big deal, I guess. And he died there. He's buried at the Pacific Crest Cemetery in Redondo Beach. Beautiful. In LA.

I saw his gravestone. It just says Kelly Petillo, and I can't remember what else it says on it. Something about racing. I don't know. Can't get enough? No. Of Kelly Petillo? No.

Well, you can get on eBay decals for his 1935 model car. Right. Because you can get one of those 1935 Red Lion whatever cars. And this is the decal set that comes on there. Yeah, all the decals that he had on his. All the sponsors. The number five. Yeah, it wasn't all the sponsors back then.

It was like number five and whatever uh it's the 1935 gilmore special kelly patillo water slide decals uh eight dollars and 49 cents only three left so that's kind of fucking neat actually the driver little silk cap little mechanic that comes with it was on fire it's pretty fucking crazy that is our trip back in time that is kelly patillo and the story of a crazy racer from back in the day slashing faces beating marines punching cops honestly you don't get a lot more no we haven't had a lot more a lot of people crazier than him right we've had like maybe 10 12 that are crazier than him and we're talking murderers aren't as crazy as him no no that's fucking banana stuff we've had murderers that are way saner than him. And we're talking murderers aren't as crazy as him. No, no, no. That's fucking banana stuff.

We've had murderers that are way saner than him. Like on this show anyway. I mean, this was wild. So fucking. And he got to die at the end, too. So he got everything out of that. Rest in pizza, sir. Rest.

That's very nice. Well done, Jimmy. So, yeah, that is Kelly Petillo. And that is a punchy, punchy episode of Crime and Sports. Right now it is 2.45 in the morning. We're working on it hard here. Phoenix time. Phoenix time, yeah.

So, sorry it took so long to get up. We're getting it up as soon as possible. Thank you guys for listening. Please, please, if you liked that episode, let us know. Get on Apple Podcasts, that purple icon. Give us five stars. Or on Stitcher. Give us five stars. Tell us your following instructions following directions they forced me to do it yeah i'm doing

this against my will there is a razor to my face right now whatever you have to say to do it man is going to beat me with a bar stool if i don't do this yeah that's fine whatever it is that gets you to do it please do that and if that's not enough for you, if you're just a better person than that and you need to help us out more, you can go to shutupandgivememurder.com where you can get all of the merch there, all the shirts and overnight bags and shoes. There's all sorts of shit on there. And they're working on hats, we've been told. Great. They're working on different hats.

I think beanies and regular hats they're working on on Threadless. So hopefully we'll get that. You can find all those right from shutupandgivememurder.com right there. Also, you can follow us on social media because very, very soon the new slate of shows for 2020 is going to come out. They're going to go live, the live shows. And crime and sports, there's not going to be that many of them. There's going to be way more small town murders. And the crime and sports are going to be like in comedy clubs, smaller venues, 400 seats, places like that.

They're going to fucking go fast. So you want to follow us on social media so you have the in on that ahead of time before maybe people, because a lot of times we'll announce it on there before we put it out on the show. So do that. Follow us. It's at Crime and Sports on Twitter and Facebook and at Small Town Murder on Instagram. And we post Crime and Sports stuff on there as well.

So do all of that. And if you want to be one of our heroes, who I don't see a list in front of Jimmy right now, which is a problem. There's an airport in between me and that.

Jimmy did not complete his list for the week here. I'll compile that come Thursday. So yes, Small Town, you can listen to that at the end of small town murder this week uh apologies there but i mean jesus christ we

barely made it to the recording so we're lucky to even get this out so we apologize possible it's impossible we apologize for the lack of uh shout outs but honestly man if you want to be one of these producers who christ man we are blown away by what you people do for us and everything like that. We can make the show whatever we want because of you guys doing that. And that's what's amazing. We can turn down ads for things we don't like. Here's what our thing is.

We don't do medical shit. Nope. We don't do financial shit. Nope. That's stuff we can't verify. We don't want someone getting sick because we told them to do that we don't want we're not doctors i can't you guys yeah i know we personally can't do tons and tons of research on a medical product to see if it's good enough

for you to take and a financial thing we don't know shit about that stuff so something can sound great to us and it could you know you could be built like bernie madoff bilking people and we would have no idea that we wouldn't want to be responsible for that so if something different we you know we have anything simply safe you know what it fucking works it's a nice product we like it things like that you know harry's great razors they goddamn work you know everything all the sponsors we have are because we like them right and that's it so and that's because of you guys ponying up money all the time for us and making it so we can be autonomous and do our own goddamn show.

So thank you so much for doing that. And if you want to be a part of that, you can do that very easily. Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports or over at PayPal using our email address, CrimeandSports at gmail.com. You can make a one-time donation there. You can get to both of those links right at CrimeandSports at gmail.com you can make a one-time donation there you can get to both of those links right at crime and sports at gmail.com oh boy that's it shut up

and give me murder you're falling asleep and i just said the complete wrong website wow that's all right it is three o'clock in the morning so that said guys yeah thank you for doing that we'll have more shouts on thursday thanks for every damn dime you give us. Thanks for listening. Thanks for giving a shit that the episode's even up late. We're trying to get it up for, I guess, I don't know, East Coast commute time, I guess. We'll see. But let's do that. Let's go edit this.

Well, you go home. I'm going to go. I'm going to. I'm going to go edit this thing. Okay. Jesus Christ. But before that, what if they want to get a hold of you? You can find me at WhismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks, on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.

And I've got to go set an alarm. Where can I find you? You can find me at JimmyPIsFunny, or just copy and paste my last name from the show description. Whatever. I don't care. It's so late. Whatever you feel like doing. Follow me if you want to.

I don't fucking know. I don't say anything that wonderful. Nothing that's like... I'm not changing the world. I'm not changing the world. It's nothing where you're going to go, oh, that's brilliant. Finally. Now I know how say anything that wonderful. Nothing that's like... I'm not changing the world. It's not changing the world. It's nothing where you're going to go, oh, that's brilliant. Finally, now I know how to do that.

Now I know how to relate to my child. It's never going to happen. I'll tell you that right now. You'll be like, oh yeah, that does suck. He's kind of right. Maybe once in a while. That's what we'll get. That's it.

So follow us there. Do all of that. Please join us next week where we're going to have another goddamn crazy case. Next week we have a thick one for you too. It's a deep thick one. What? I don't fucking know. Jesus Christ.

I don't know. At least it's not going to slash you with a razor. Alright. Well, for Jimmy here, this is fucking James signing off. Hey, on the way home, Jimmy. I need you to stop off. Get yourself a meaty stuffed cheesy Covino.

Okay? You do that. It's all good. Did you say where your shit was? Yeah, we did. That's great. Live from the Kraven Sports Studios, we will see you next week. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad- free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from SmartList Media. Discover the craziest rabbit

holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'd learn that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink rollercoaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, How the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.