Crime in Sports - #199 - Heads Are For Hitting - The Conspicuousness of Mark Gastineau

Episode Date: March 10, 2020

This week, we follow the trail of a man who has been living on the edge for 40 years. A star NFL player, from a tiny school, that ends up setting the single season sack record. He also started a Studio 54 brawl, went out with movie stars & models, had a crazy mustache, and got arrested. A lot. Court orders mean nothing, and people who don't want to be slapped around, mean even less. Can he turn it around to something positive, or will his story end sadly?? Dance your best sack dance, impregnate Stallone's ex, and get used to Rikers Island with Mark Gastineau!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. The Queen of the Courtroom is back. How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports! Yay! Yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed.

My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I am Jimmy Wissman. Thank you folks so much for joining us again. We're so excited for another crazy... This is a wild one today. Great. Whenever we have these people who've been around and been famous and doing crazy shit for multiple decades... Famous for being crazy. That's when you get the goodness

this guy's been famous for 40 years yeah so he's done a lot of insanity and a lot of craziness and this episode by the way and i'll tell you when it at that point when it leads in this episode is connected to next week's number 200 episode so it's a it's a weird thing it's a blip in this guy's life as we'll see this guy has a crazy life it's a little thing. It's a blip in this guy's life. As we'll see, this guy has a crazy life. It's a little blip, a little off-road. But this other guy, it is his whole life, and it really takes a toll. So it's insane.

But we'll get to that next week and this week. And before we get into this crazy-ass show, just want to thank everybody, of course, for your reviews this week. Thank you. Anyone who has not done that, please do that. It really, really helps people find the show if you give five stars and you say something i don't know why but it helps the algorithm and it makes you go up the charts in addition to your listens and everything and then more people find the show it's like you telling a friend yeah we

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there you go thank you for everything you guys do for us and have done for us for the last 199 episodes we really do appreciate it james and i don't have friends we'd have to be reviewing all There you go. Thank you for everything you guys do for us and have done for us for the last 199 episodes. We really do appreciate it. James and I don't have friends. We'd have to be reviewing all kinds of shit. Oh, my God. It'd be a mess. It'd be a mess. Also, head over to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com for everything crime and sports and small-town murder related.

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And this is one of those epics, man. Let's do it. Let's get into it with Mark Gastineau. You know Mark Gastineau, Jimmy? Yes. Mark Gastineau, the old Jets player. Mullet coming out. Not really a mullet.

Pretty big dude. Flowing. player, mullet coming out. Not really a mullet. Pretty big dude. Oh, huge dude. Basically, he's J.J. Watt before J.J. Watt. Okay, same position? Same position. Same position, defensive end, white guy defensive end that wildly celebrates sex. It's the model, basically, for J.J. Watt watt except everyone hated mark gastineau when he did it whereas jj watt they were like he's just a good old boy dancing when gastineau did it they

were like man look at him thinks he's fancy yeah this is a totally different reaction this is no hurricanes in new york it's very strange this is pre-hurricane they like jj watt for that like he got a nice flat top and he's dancing i like like it. Gastineau, I don't know. He's got a lot of vowels at the end of his name. He's dancing around. He's from New York City. I don't like that. He ain't from there, but he's there now.

I'm not sure where he's from. Good enough there. I know where he's from. We'll talk about it, damn it. His full name, Marcus Del Gastineau. Del. Del, like Curry. There, born November 20th, 1956.

Back then, he's born in Ardmore, Oklahoma. Oh, yeah. He is a good old country boy. Hell, yeah. Old Mark Gastineau. You wouldn't expect it, honestly, from the flashiness. He's known for, as we'll find out later, he's known for Rolls Royces and mink coats and dating movie stars and hanging out at Studio 54 and shit like that he's a set like he's a wild cowboy yeah he's a wild cowboy and he said when he came to new york he was like just blown away

by the whole thing and just like yes give me all of this like holy shit i didn't know that life of access this is great oh boy uh he grew up here uh he started in oklahoma ended up living growing up in arizona though in rural arizona in agar egar e-a-g-a-r arizona i think that's east it's it's east central what is that east central yeah i know where it is is it eager it's eager eager it's in like the white mountains in the middle of fucking nowhere this is some rural shit it was where he grew up and uh yeah so he grows up there his family like his dad has a ranch yeah so he grows up like kind of on a ranch that way up that way yeah there's a ranch with horses later on he'll be like a rodeo guy too in college yeah he's a shit you would never expect from this

guy it's very solo arizona that kind of cowboy yeah cowboy roping things at six five over 200 pounds he's on a that That's frightening coming at you. So apparently when he was growing up, he had some issues. Apparently he broke his leg at age 10 very badly. Really? The doctor didn't think he'd be able to walk right again. Cowboy broken leg. Yeah, like the doctor said, you might not walk right again.

You're probably not going to play sports. One foot's shorter than the other now. That limp they all get. Yeah. You just get a bigger heel on your boot, I feel. I'm just going to file the left side down a little bit so I'm going to be even. That's what I would do anyway. Indiana Jones blocks on your feet.

Yeah. One of those things. Apparently, his ankle, he says his ankle became gangrenous. Oh, gross. That's what he says later on, which is not terrific. This happened in Arizona. This happened in Arizona, yes. Wild.

In 1966. Yeah. So that's a different era. Imagine that rural Arizona. It's frightening now. It's frightening now. I'll bet they still have a blacksmith. Oh, dude, right now it is weird.

You go to northern Arizona. We're not talking Sedona or Flagstaff or Jerome, like little tourist trap towns. Go off the highway through the woods and you're like, why are people living here? What's going on? Find a route that starts with SR. Oh, boy. A state route in that area of the state is horrifying. Kentucky, you ain't got nothing on us.

It is strange up there. It is some weird shit. This is shit that is not developed, and it hasn't been. I mean, it's only been a while. And it never will, too, because it's on reservation, so it's not going to be developed. And it's only been discovered for a little bit. Yeah, but people seem to take that as, we can move there and be weird. And that's what fucking people do.

They do it. It's so strange. Like, Phoenix in 1966 was nothing. Not. Like, you look at old, like, just look at a thing. The population was nothing. It was a blip in the desert, basically. It was in a city for, like, 50 years.

Yeah, it was a blip in the desert. So Northern Arizona was really bleak. I mean, there was nothing. It was a blip in the desert. It was in a city for like 50 years. Yeah, it was a blip in the desert. So northern Arizona was really bleak. There was nothing there. So, yeah, it became gangrenous, he said. He said, quote, I had a hole all the way through it. Gross. I thought you broke your leg. That's what he said.

Why you got a hole in your foot? He's got a hole in his ankle. When they opened up the cast and the blood and pus and everything ran out of it, the doctor said right there, he'll never walk again. And if he does, he'll have a bad limp. Oh, my God. That's what he says. He's talking about the doctor from witnessing this.

I'll never walk again. I'm going to have a bad limp. Just from what I've seen. Made my butthole tear and I'm going to limp from now on. I just I puckered it so hard. It just it popped. That scared me. That was popped it inward.

It's going to be bad. Got an inverted butthole. Oh, man man your butthole's an innie that's not right that ain't right it's supposed to be a flushy just you don't want an innie or an outie it's a delicate flora going on down there is what i'm saying it's very concave so his uh his mother here his mother lou uh his mother lou told him daddy his dad betty and his mother lose dad's martha obviously as we know from every older lady every woman in the anyone any woman who had a kid in the 50s her name was martha period there's just no other explanation to it she he said that she told him quote mark you're going to be okay the church is praying for you if you put your faith in the Lord, it will be OK.

His mom was a devout Baptist here. And he said, I believe that it was going to be OK. I didn't have any doubts. It was childhood faith. The Lord restored my legs. Is that what he said? He became one of the fastest linemen in the NFL. Is that what he said?

That's what he said. His words. By the way, that's foreshadowing. He said that at the end. Really? Oh, he said that way later so we'll tell you that tells you the road he ended up taking right there so this is you're headed for like steroids crazy domestic violence crazy crazy drugs crazy jesus brain damage

steroids and brain damage here boy uh high school he goes to round valley high yeah which is in eager or eager eager i don't know i'm pretty sure that's spelled wrong i don't know why i can't fucking place i'm pretty sure it's eager because there's no one heber overguard up their area it's like there's like a thousand people there now so it's like it's what was there like 12 people there there's probably more cattle than people there up there before there's more gangrene virus it's just a virus it's a bacteria i think so i don't know it's just floating around they're just giving it over handshakes there's more of that than people wash your hands you're gonna get the gangrene can you imagine if you don't wash your hands you're gonna get the gangrene boy get in the bathroom that is a different time that's a different time

they used to just have shit on their hands and they'd eat food they didn't care just fucking have this sandwich some shit on the bread it keeps the shit off the meat is what the bread does it's good you don't want you want to mix your meat with shit that's the problem separate by bread it's layer it you know what i mean keep supplies on your hands not on your food that's the thing. You put another layer of bread on it. Now you got triple decker. It's like a club.

It's a bacon turkey shit club. Jesus. So he ends up in high school. He's a, you know, he's a big star in a little area. And I looked up some of the stuff like he, he was like switching. He would switch to a fullback for, he was going from like if he was playing tackle and then he was playing uh would switch to fullback just never leave the field yeah so there was all of these uh newspaper articles of him and he's he's six five and over 200 pounds and they just they just hand him the ball because no one can tackle

right because it's the middle of nowhere, and he's the biggest kid around. Biggest kid they've ever seen. Especially in the early 70s. Nowadays, a lot of people are 6'5". In the NFL, everybody's 6'5", unless they're a running back or something. But back then, nobody was 6'5". And people in the NFL were not 6'5". Offensive linemen were 6'2", 230 pounds.

They weren't fucking 6'6", 320 pounds. The NFL turned into not a six footers league it's no it's you have to be wild yeah you have to be huge unless if you're six feet or or nearby you better be fast as you better be barry sanders you better be agile you better be able you better be able to not get hit hard basically or you're gonna be able to outrun the tackle yeah or be able to dodge it enough like emmett smith right kick a glancing shot one of those guys but it's wild it is wild but he would do they would give him the ball and it would be you know he would score all these touchdowns because he'd just break away and he's pretty fast too that's

the thing once he gets into the nfl he's clocked at under 4 6 for a 40 no shit for a big guy like that that's reggie white ran a 4 6 40 you know what i mean and he's a freak athletic as fuck yeah but when he's in the nfl he's 265 pounds six foot five yes and it was running a four five and a half 40 that's that's scary i'm so jealous yeah it's a scary he was ahead of his time kind of in terms of that his athleticism and uh he was like if he played now he would make 100 he'd sign 120 million dollar contract you know after his rookie deal was up you know it was and in new york it was him and lawrence taylor were the big two lt was way better than him of course just much better but uh yeah they talk about in high school that he was uh you know he's doing he was a defensive guard a

linebacker an offensive tackle and a fullback you pick whatever he wants to play just yeah he's just big enough and good enough to do whatever he wants there um he said that he uh once he graduated high school he ends up going to eastern arizona college i don't even know where that is yeah that's what i mean it's not it's it's a nothing is that in show it's in thatcher oh my god really thatcher wow yeah out there uh thatcher alumni of that college yeah there's one nick nolte what the fuck was he doing there what was nick nolte doing there in the middle i just i just wandered he doesn't know oh christ i was in new mexico with the goddamn in the desert and took the peyote yeah shit i came here and they said you want to sign up for classes i get financial aid and i said all right christ i guess i'll do it

then jesus christ i going to borrow around here. Put me in movies later. For Christ's sake. Goddamn Thatcher. Thatcher. It's damn near New Mexico. Where Nick Nelty slept in an intersection for his first three years of college. With a bottle small police chalk drawn around him.

That's wild. I would have never known that. Who the fuck would? It's so weird. police chalk John around that's wild I would have never known that who the fuck would this is it's so weird uh he uh in in Thatcher there though he earned like the was NAIA or the lower level college all America honors in his first season he earned the best player ever he's just great wow look at him he's he doesn't even have a limp it's like it's like he wasn't gangrenous as a child like all the other players here uh he's also, by the way, in high school, he was a basketball player and also ran track as well.

So he was just doing everything. Multi-talented. Multi-talented in basketball, too. There's all sorts of articles of him draining shots and scoring 25 and everything. Yeah, he's pretty nasty. He said, though, that he realized once he got out of high school that with proper training he could be he could possibly be a pro someday and uh yeah he said quote when i looked around me and saw that i was bigger but the little guys were getting all the trophies i said hey i must not be doing the

job i mean it's not the trophies but that's the way i want to make my living pro football that's what he said when he was in college so he he was, you know, very much into it. Yeah. The eager back then had 1200 people there. And so they were worried about him in college because he only played against shitty competition, obviously here. But he says he wants to play pro ball.

He said, quote, for sure. I really want to play pro ball. I think pro players are something special. Everybody can't do that. This year is the only year i've got ever gotten serious about football i really want to go on and play just now this is

yeah when he gets into college okay yeah before that he was just going off playing athleticism sticking around yeah yeah just just fucking off that's all uh he says that his dad was a motivating influence in his football career that was his dad was a big part of it he said quote when my dad was a kid you know what yeah well we'll do it later here when my dad was a motivating influence in his football career. That was his dad was a big part of it. He said, quote, when my dad was a kid, you know what? Well, we'll do it later here. When my dad was a kid, he never had a chance to play football. And he tells me I've got the ability to do it. So why not put it to work? He gives me a lot of confidence.

My dad went to every one of my games in high school. He was in Mexico City, but he still came to our game against Western and Yuma this year. We're real close. Really? Yeah. So, yeah, he said. in mexico city but he still came to our game against western and yuma this year we're real close really yeah so uh yeah he's like his dad said a lot of uh boy there's pussy in this sport yeah boy listen it's your way it's your way off the ranch yeah take a look at your mom yeah you want something better what are you looking at here hold on martha martha get out here it's lou yeah tighten up your dress for a minute i want to show him something let me show you your mother lou yeah lou i'm a mary a staunch baptist named lou do you mark no i suggest you get out there and hit the weight room pal that's what i'm talking about yeah

fucking chop chop cheech let's do it get out there what do you think you're doing i guarantee he said that you know he did um he said they ask him if he thinks about the game all week and he says if i think about the game constantly all week i'll get sicker than a dog so i try to keep my mind off it until we drive up to the field and we're getting our pads on um and then he's this is i'm gonna do it in their own words this is like young young corny gaston oh and this is so not representative of who he is later on, and it's hilarious, so let's do it. In their own words, quote, you have to go out there and get mean for dang sure.

I just whack guys upside the head and get after it. When you make a sack of the QB for a loss or tackle a guy in the open, it does something way down deep inside of you. Who does he think he is? I don't know. The Little Rivers? What the fuck?

I whack guys. I hit them dang hard. I whack them upside the head. He thinks he think he is? I don't know. Does he look for rivers? What the fuck? I whack guys. I hit them dang hard. I whack them upside the head. He thinks he's Deacon Jones there. When you slap a man or a woman. It's the greatest, craziest clip ever. I can't believe that's on ESPN. They were like, yeah, don't edit that when you slap a guy.

Just leave that in. When you slap, because he puts it on the end. It's so easy. We've talked about it before. When you slap a guy upside the head, oh, woman. He even gives a pause. Perfect edit point. Boom.

Cut that off. Nope. You know, they like equality, so I'm going to throw women in there, too. That's what it seemed like to me. That's what he was trying to do. The look on his face wasn't like, you know, I'll smack a bitch. It was like, oh, woman. I don't discriminate.

Hey, they could be out there. If they're playing offensive tackle, I'll smack them, too. I don't give a shit. You was like, oh, I'm not a woman. I don't discriminate. Hey, they could be out there. If they're playing offensive tackle, I'll smack them too. I don't give a shit. You got a big mouth, I'm coming for you. Yeah, you seem like, hey, I'm Deacon Jones. I'm here for women's rights. I will smack a woman.

I'm here for punch and equality. Everybody step up and take a smack from me and I'll say, now you're equal. Equal. It's an odd way to to it's an odd form of feminism it's a very interesting way of making everybody on the same playing yeah that's fantastic yeah you gotta whoop everybody ass that's the thing um so after one year of eastern arizona shit fuck college there he transfers to asu no kidding goes yeah transfers to arizona state which

i don't think i knew this you don't know is in the phoenix area it's in tempe which is a suburb it's attached to phoenix so it's the phoenix area here uh he only plays one season there though one season here in uh 1976 okay 76 uh he said one and he says quote why they ask him what happened and he said it was a combination of me, the place, and the coach. I wasn't ready for a place that big, 31,000 students. ASU, if you don't know, is fucking enormous. It's crazy. It's one of the major, big, giant, 50,000-kid universities.

There's a shitload of kids there. But the layout of it is very indicative of the city, too, that it is fucking sprawling. It's all spread out, yeah. It goes from goddamn Mill to scottsdale road it's from mill to downtown where they have a lot of journalism schools and everything right everywhere it's all over the goddamn they have campuses all in between too it's crazy so and he's coming from like we said we can't explain to you how rural that is out there and in the 60s

and so it's i mean now it's like holy shit it's the 30s when you go there now that it must i don't know if they had running water up there. I know people that go up there for the Fourth of July fireworks parade thing. And they laugh because it's so backward. Oh, it's so bad today. That's now. So in 1968, it was weird. So he said I was immature.

And the coach, Frank Cush, who is a famous asshole, known as the biggest asshole in the history of football. He made people 115 degrees do the run the mountain and all that shit for it was just for to be an asshole. And that was names on everything. Yeah. For some reason, he got fired, by the way, for hitting a fucking player. That's why he got fired. He hit a player. So let's five years go by.

Let's name everything after him. Frank Cush Field. That's the name of the fucking field. He's such an overbearing piece of shit that he hit one of his fucking kids. Not even his kid. Not even his kid. But his kid. One of the college kids there.

You could say, oh, they're adults, but you don't hit people you're in charge of, period. You went to a man's house and told his mom, I will keep your son safe. Then you drug him to the desert and beat the shit out of him ridiculous so he said frank kush yeah the one who's taking over the cults was tough so i went back to east central oklahoma that's where he transfers he transfers transfers to a little school which doesn't look good in uh in terms of the pros to transfer out of a big school to a little school generally looks like you do it the other way around but it's east central oklahoma state university it's in ada

oklahoma that's ugly that is ugly yeah uh he was a great player though here over the course of his career there he had 27 quarterback sacks they weren't counted at the time but they were unofficially counted and uh he earned outstanding defensive lineman honors in the 1979 senior bowl so that's everybody in the country that's the people playing that there's like that was like kind of it was like more of the combine than what the combine is now back then like they looked at the senior bowl sure the nfl teams would send their coaches to coach the senior bowl teams and they would you know so they'd see the guys all week in practice brilliant that's how they would scout do they still do that because they fucking should but now they have the combine so now it's like which is stupid because you want to see well you want to see how they practice in

playing games right that's what cares if they have a 43 inch vertical jump what the fuck that's all practice too i want to see the the ladder see them in a goddamn game in game against somebody that's the best in their position practice that's what i mean you can put a defensive lineman that you know that's in from a small school that hasn't played against big-time people. You can go, well, here's a 6'5", 300-pound best offensive tackle in the game. Let's see what you do with this guy. And in practice, you can see that in one shot. Okay, he's up to that level, or he's not.

You know what I mean? So that's the way they can tell. Even in the combine, it's just physical skills. So you can't tell how he plays. And unencumbered. There's nobody there. There's no pads. It's a different thing and nobody against you seeing how yeah not how not high they can force you to jump and how how fast you run in pads is also a thing pads are heavy and

when they get soaked and sweat they're heavy and it makes a difference i always say jerry rice without pads he's like a 4540 yeah he's he's him and mark gaston i'll run basically the same the greatest receiver in the history of the league. But with pads on, Jerry Rice is faster than everybody. That's just the way it was. He didn't get any slower with pads on. He just holds that. He always trained.

He had a big sled thing that he'd run up a mountain with. That's how he trained. He'd have like 400 pounds of weight on him running up a mountain like 30 times. That's wild. That's how he trained all the time. He's so good. He was insane. I watched him play his last game, I think, as pre That's how he trained all the time. He's so good. He was insane. I watched him play his last game, I think, as preseason.

Because he signed with the Broncos for a minute. Yeah. And then went back to sign to retire. But I watched him play. Still, how old was he? 42? Yeah, he was. He was old.

Yeah, he was old. Amazing. Yeah, he was. I think he caught a couple of balls that game. He was pretty wild. Just as perfect as a receiver, Jerry Rice in the 80s. He was beautiful. He was perfect. He was beautiful. He really was he really was fun to watch it was amazing because it wasn't like a

randy moss with the physical skills where you know i'm taller than you and i'm going to run down the field faster and jump he was just run a perfect route catch the ball perfectly and then make a weird angle so you couldn't catch him like he was just in a perfect athletic move yep perfect knees at the right height everything It's an amazing stride. Running perfect. Yeah, everything was just perfect. She's beautiful to watch. Towel perfectly on his...

Yeah, shit never fell off his hip. No, no, no. A little towel perfect on his hip. Right on his thigh. Perfect. Everything perfect. It was awesome. So March of 78 in Oklahoma, he has to pay a fine for speeding.

$48 fine for speeding. So he was doing like 900 miles an hour. Yeah, in Oklahoma back then. He was riding a rocket. Yeah, that's basically what he was. Yeah, he had a NASCAR. He was cruising through there. But he did come in third in the race.

That paid for the $48. So it was a wash. It was fine. September 24th, 1978, he has to miss a game because he's hospitalized with blood poisoning okay what does he do i don't know why is he around so many blood poisons what is wrong with so much bacteria what's wrong with the inside of your body dude that it's just poisoning itself and unleashing bacteria and toxins into its own systems this is weird that's a bizarre find too you say $48?

$48. Like they pick the dollar figure based on the number of the car that won? Yeah, I think that's what it is. $48 car. $48 car won. That's a fine. $48 fine. We're in the top five.

It doubles beyond that. Also around this time is when he's participating in rodeo. He's roping calves and shit. Constantly. Weird stuff. Maybe that's how he got blood. He's roping calves and shit. Doing weird stuff. Maybe that's how he got blood poisoning. I'm around all that shit. I wouldn't be surprised.

I'm not positive how blood poisoning works or even really what it is. It's gross. So I'm not going to speculate, but it sounds terrible. My stepdad got it by petting a pig. That sounds terrible. Yeah. I think I told you that. Rodeo?

That could have been the reason then. Yeah. Okay, good. You, that's all right. He cut his arm on a fucking pig pen. Hey, everybody. There's a reason why I don't go to the rodeo. Number one, because I'm on a redneck.

Number two, because I don't want blood poisoning. Thank you. You can see your blood running underneath your skin, James. That's what I'm saying. It's so gross. It's poison. You can see your veins. All poison.

It's like a bad fucking sci-fi movie. God damn it. So Mark plays in the senior ball here, and he's hoping to get drafted into the nfl there has never been an eastern central oklahoma state player drafted in the nfl so he's trying to be the first um he would go to the combines because there was a few different combines there and he ran the 40 in 4.5 seconds in one of the pro day things that he did uh but everybody you know was kind of like well he played at a small school though he played at a small school so it really helped that he was good at the senior bowl there uh they said by the end of the week the jets who were coached the jets

coach walt michaels was the coach of the north squad of the senior bowl he said that he thought that gastineau would be drafted in the first three rounds he said quote he made himself 60 70 thousand dollars down here wow you know dropping his draft status a good day for him yeah they said he was beating some of the best offensive linemen all week in practice and then he was named outstanding player in the game and uh yeah they said that he uh you know he was playing there and he said he didn't have his head on straight because they were asking him you know why did he why did he leave arizona state and now at that point he said the social life was more than he could take and he said he didn't have his head on straight because they were asking him, why did he leave Arizona State? And now, at that point, he said the social life was more than he could take

and he didn't have his head on straight. I guess he was a party school. It really is. If you come from the middle of nowhere and you like to party, you can really fuck up there bad. He said it was just too much for him. He was overwhelmed.

That used to be the thing. Now it's one of the lowest academic-voted schools in the country. Well, now some of it has higher academics in some of the things now. In some things, yeah, but overall it's one of the worst academic voted schools in the country. Well, now that some of it has higher academics than some of the things. In some things, yeah. But overall, it's one of the worst. Their math is like crazy though now. It was always terrible.

ASU's never been a good school. Engineering. Yeah. It's a lot of Asian kids walking around that have their shit together, have like calculators and books. Like they're academic and shit and they give a fuck? Yeah. They're not like on a skateboard with like a fucking you know

a yard of liquor right and a fucking vape pen in the other hand i'll be like modest mouse shirt like a fucking slice of pizza hanging out of the vape pen hand they're like actually going to class these kids and shit so not to stereotype but i mean hey it's true good for them the truth is the truth yeah so uh yeah uh if so if someone sends you here from somewhere else to go to school, you better not fuck up. Right. They fucking sent you all the way here. That's why.

They're a little more serious about it. Whereas if you're from Peoria, they're like, hey, bro, I went home for the weekend, did my fucking laundry, and, you know, hung out with my friends. These people did paperwork for permission to be on the soil. Yeah. Not this fuck place. That's what I mean. That was delivering

pizzas last week if you can still get hand jobs from girls you went to high school with you're not serious about college you're just not it's impossible he said at that in asu i was partying a lot and doing things against my will what the fuck were you doing i knew if i was going to play pro ball i needed to get out of that against my will. He was forcing the biggest football player to drink. Giant son of a bitch. You're going to drink this. Yeah. So he said that a lot of people come in and look at you and they know that you've got the potential, but they don't know how good you really are.

You need to go up against top-notch players. That's what I needed, and that's what he did here. So the 79 NFL draft. This is an interesting one. Number one pick overall, Jimmymy 79 jesus i haven't got a clue tom cosano yeah cosano cosano yeah linebacker don't know didn't do much there uh kansas city chiefs mike bell he's a good line all right but not a number one overall draft pick when you see these uh because number four hall of famer dan hampton oh is there oh yeah uh number seven overall phil sims giants

super bowl champion quarterback oj otis anderson oh the other oj yeah the please god don't confuse me with that oj oj anderson and he's got son is the last three of his name yeah and he's a running back so it's brutal anderson simps everyone called him oj it's like oh dude that's rough uh so kellen winslow the father of the rapist, burglar who will definitely have an episode. How about that? Who's a great tight end, Kellen Winslow, for the Chargers forever there.

A lot of good players in this draft we'll talk about. But in the beginning of the second round, Mark gets a call from Buffalo's coach, Coach Chuck Knox, who was later on the seahawks coach there he gets a telephone call and the guy says we've drafted you in the second round yeah so mark was like great this is awesome he said he ran into his you know ran and found his mother and cried and you know it was a dream come true and everything and then the phone rang a few minutes later and it was chuck knox again and he said uh we made a mistake we actually picked fred fred smearless

he told him so yeah we fucked up dude we didn't actually told him who they picked yeah he said we actually well it's on the thing who they pick he goes we actually picked that guy and i thought we picked you i'm really sorry my bad bad communication on our and so he's like so i didn't get drafted go back and take those tears back so never mind guess i'm not in the nfl he said that he was like he was sad that he wasn drafted, but he was also happy that he didn't have to go to Buffalo at the same time. She was like, well, that's good. And then a few minutes later, he does get drafted. Yes, smearless

there by the Buffalo Bills. Turned out to be a Pro Bowler later, so a defensive tackle. But Gastineau finally 41 overall by the Jets in the second round. Still in New York. Mark Gastineau. New York Jets, yeah, but it's definitely way different than buffalo yeah uh bob gollick was in the second round third round joe montana that year as well yeah third round wow so uh yeah 79 interesting interesting draft year i don't

think i knew that did i know that i may have known that third rounder out of notre dame he was small i knew that but i didn't know he's a fragile motherfucker joe montana so people were okay that was the rub and he was fragile i mean you hit him he was he was down he was going to be out for i don't know a season any good shot he ever took he was out for a season he took like three good shots in his whole career out for season the whole time jim burt uh leonard marshall there's one more i'm forgetting but the giants did it twice the chiefs must have been thrilled to get him and then been like what what the fuck? He was decent for them.

I mean, they had Steve DeBerg before that, so it was probably better. They didn't win, though. No, they went to the playoffs. Yeah, but no Super Bowls. 11-5, and yeah, that's all. That's fucking heartbreaking when he comes from San Francisco

where he's unbelievable. All sorts of rings. Out. So, 79 on the Jets. This is a shit team on the jets we'll buzz through the sports stuff quick here uh jets are eight and eight that year just mediocre jets team it was typical they played by the way still in shea stadium back then no kidding for till 84 they're gonna play in shea stadium that's where the mets played until a few years ago when

they built city field but yeah that's the shea whereas not giants then they moved into giant stadium with the giants there uh this year he plays in all the games 16 but he only starts one game and uh just doesn't really play that much he's a rookie kind of keep him off to the side uh 1980 though the jets are four and 12 nothing to lose just a shit fucking squad and gas and no starts coming into his own uh starts uh uh you know They start talking to him. He starts getting kind of a personality going. And this is before they officially counted sacks. But he still had 11 this year that were unofficial.

They didn't count stats. Sacks weren't an official stat until 82. That's wild. Yeah, it's wild. Wouldn't you see like the very first play that that happens and be like we should definitely count those yeah holy shit that was amazing yeah so how did he get there they have unofficial numbers like they think deacon jones had like 45 one year wow which is crazy because he was a fucking beast man holy shit

so uh he says quote i don't eat glass or anything i'm not a quarterback hater it's pretty exciting i think one of the reasons i'm doing better this year is that the whole line is doing better there are three people giving pressure at other positions that helps me out he says another thing is that i've seen the people i'm playing against once before it's tough to know how they play the first time and it's a lot easier the second time morris towns for example gave me trouble last year i didn't get to dan pastorini once this year was different sacking stabler had to be one of the more exciting things this year the toughest thing last year my rookie year was learning a whole new game so he was happy to sack former raiders as he was playing for the oilers i think at that point he says i went to a small school and i found the level of competition

in the n NFL was incredible. People expected a lot of me and Marty Lyons, but it takes time. I know a lot of guys that got drafted in the second round came in and made all pro. I'm not saying I'm all pro or anything, but it took me two years to get halfway decent. So that's what he's saying here. 81, the Jets are 10-5-1 and go to the playoffs. No kidding. Holy shit, the playoffs.

They turned it around. Yeah. By the way, I love this era Jets uniform. The green helmet. Okay. The green helmet with the Jets. No metallic shit. No metallic shit.

Straight green, straight green jerseys. That's the cool fucking Jets. With the white face mask on the helmet. Those are cool as fuck. I hate their new old-timey uniforms. I just don't like them. I don't like the 60s Jets uniforms. Is that the color rush thing, or are you just talking about the

regular white helmets? No. A cold-weather team shouldn't have a white helmet. Colts do it, too. I don't know. It fit for Baltimore. That's indoors, so it doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter. For some reason, it fit. That's a really old-timey one. I just can't. A Northeast team?

It's just ridiculous. I'm sorry. White helmet. So, yeah, this year, 81 is he really comes into his own. He's ripping it up. He has a couple of fumble recoveries, makes the Pro Bowl this year. So, damn, not bad. So he says, when I'm out on the field and I make a quarterback sack, it's an emotional high. Now, this is when he starts dancing.

the field and i make a quarterback sack it's an emotional high now this is when he starts dancing he would sack the quarterback and then do like a you know high step and river dancing or something i don't know but back then it was a you know it was a big deal gangrene out that's what do you have to do that's what the doctor told him you gotta dance it out of your ankles shake it out of those feet. But back then, this was considered hot-dogging and you're an asshole. Rubbing it in. Yeah, and now people love it. So it's different. He says, I can't explain it here on the phone.

I get tired even talking about it. It's a feeling I can't explain being in the position we're in. I'd like to let everybody feel the way I feel right now. He says, I'm not as wild as everybody thinks I am, but I've always been able to get excited and I don't think there's anything like a quarterback sack. So he's jacked for sex basically here. Um,

also you don't like it. Don't let him do it. That's the other thing. Don't let him get a sack. How about block him? That's the other thing. Uh, good mustache on Gastineau back then too.

Solid mustache. A lot of guys there did. Oh, yeah. That was a huge one. Fuck. Uh, 82 seasons, a strike shortened season, six Solid mustache. A lot of guys there did. Oh, yeah, it was a huge one. God, fuck. 82 seasons, a strike-shortened season. Six and three, the Jets are.

Doesn't matter. They do, just as typical Jets, in a strike-shortened season, they do this. They win a wild card game, 44-17 against the Bengals. Then they play the Raiders, who were 82 Raiders. They were going to win the Super Bowl

the next year, I think. They beat the Raiders that game, 17-14. Go all the way to the conference championship game and play the Dolphins, who beat them. Right. 14-0. And that was the unstoppable Dolphins. No, no, no. That was 82 Dolphins.

That's pre-Marino. No, no. Right. Marino didn't win a Super Bowl. That was 74. was so you're talking 74 yeah yeah you're talking 72 undefeated you're right yeah 72 yeah undefeated it is yeah that's a different and this is 80 what 82 okay this is 82 so who's who's here then on the dolphins yes it's pre-marino okay so this is i don't know anybody don shula's the coach

that's all you need to know i think now Now, he ends up conflicting stories of when they get married. But in 79, he meets Lisa, who will be his wife. And she'll later have a reality show using his name, too. And November 11th, 1982, they have a daughter named Brittany. There she is. Who's the girl in the reality show there. So that's when that gets started. So this year, 82, he had six sacks. There she is. Who's the girl in the reality show there. So that's when that gets started.

So this year, 82, he had six sacks. And that was, you know, there's only nine games. So what do you want? But he's in the Pro Bowl, first team All-Pro this year, and the NFL Defensive Player of the Year. No kidding. Yeah. I mean, for nine games or not, that's a big deal. That's a big goddamn deal.

Yeah. He's very proud of it. He's liking his fame and things like that uh he says that he's uh he says that this is funny around this time there's an interview and he says about his father quote i've got a brother who's seven years older seven years old by the same mother uh so as he was right right now right now when he's 23 he's got a seven-year-old brother. Yeah. He said, one reason my father keeps so young is that he's got a whole new family. He has a daughter who's 15 and another who's 28. He spread his family out, and that keeps him thinking young.

That's one of the things that bothers me about moving to New York, not being able to be with him. One of these days, I'm hoping I'm financially secure enough to see him anytime I want. Does that mean him and Lou broke up, or's like now cranking new babies out of Lou? Yeah, I think. No, I think he's cranking. I think he's cranking. No, seven years old by the same mother.

Yeah. He's cranking new babies out of Lou. Yeah. Wow. Lou is a she's in for the long haul. Poor lady. She's going to have kids for decades. Just decades.

Holy shit. Jesus Christ. Poor Lou. She's got a son that's almost 30. No, he's 20. He's 27 right now. Yeah's got a son that's almost 30. No, he's 20. He's 27 right now. Yeah, almost 30. Yeah, almost 30.

27. That's crazy. 26 at the time he did the interview. That's absurd. But still, 26 and a 7-year-old. And a 15-year-old and a 28-year-old. Yeah. That's a lot of kids.

Like a lot of spread. Right. It's a lot of gap between. It's a big gap in there. It's just lot of, it's a big gap in there. It's a big, just a big gash of time is all I'm saying. It marks 30s. You know what I mean? It's another, another symbol.

It's a chasm, really, of time. You can see when his parents get along. They have spats of like, go fuck yourself. And then they get sweet a couple times. I'll do it for you. Hold on. This time, I'll do it. Got you covered here.

So, 1983. Now, 1983 draft, the Jets drafted famously Ken O'Brien rather than Dan Marino, which as you know the histories of the two franchises in the 80s, not the wisest move. Didn't work out well. Didn't work out as well. Ken O'Brien was actually a decent quarterback. He's just not Dan Marino, so he couldn't win, basically. If he went to the Dolphins,

they would have said, hey, he had a good career down there. But unfortunately, he could have been there. So Todd Blackledge suffered the same thing with the Chiefs. Not good. That's Ken O'Brien's, their new draft pick, the new guy in town, the new first-round draft pick quarterback the new guy in town, the new first

round draft pick quarterback. Mark Gastineau decides to take him out on the town in New York City here. Show him around a little bit in the beginning of the season. September 30th, 1983, 2.20 a.m. at Studio 54. Oh, Christ. Okay, so bad news right away. The Studio 54, not some knockoff. This is when it was still open. It one the real studio 54 so picture gastineau hair flowing mustache kicking he's

definitely got a mink coat on probably like a uh some sort of triple x beaver hat oh big cowboy hat no no no he's not cowboy no he's not rocking cowboy shit at all? Fuck no. Why the hell not? It's New York. Yeah, exactly. Stand out. He don't look like an idiot. He's 6'5", muscular, with flowing hair. And a mustache.

He's doing great. He doesn't need a cowboy hat. They'd be like, why are you dressed like that, idiot? If he's 6'9", with a cowboy hat. Yeah, that's true. So he's in the bar, hanging out. And this is with the owner of the club, Mark Fleischman.

I think he ended up going to jail later. He said that a melee began about 2.20 a.m. when a bartender named Scott Baird, who is 175 pounds, beat Gastineau

in an arm wrestling match. What? Okay, he turned his hat around and he said, I'm going to rip your shit and arm off and he 100% over the top'd his ass ass you have to know some over the top shit yeah to be to beat a guy who's way bigger than you like that and stronger than you too not only or or he's just drunk as fuck

in one of the two but apparently uh this pissed gaston off and gaston oh said he wanted another match yeah but i'll rip your shitting arm off my back. He's banging his fucking elbow on the table. Maybe the writer, whoever wrote Over the Top, was in Studio 54 that night, and he's like, oh my goodness,

I have to go. This is riveting. I'm going home! I'm inspired! Taking off the notebook, ripping through it on the way out. They're like, I don't know,

he's taking off. He said he's inspired. I don't know what's up with this. But Gastineau's banging his elbow on the way out they're like i don't know he's taking off he said he's inspired i don't know what's up with this but gaston knows banging his elbow on the bar going let's go pal rip your shit and arm off and the bartender said that he realized that gaston was really mad and huge and a customer and just didn't want to deal with it anymore so he said no no i don't want to do it i'm busy and shit like that just lose two yes that'll diffuse the situation just yeah oh you got me that time no but he was like i got lemon drops to make he basically didn't know how gaston i was gonna treat him on this round so he was he was like i don't want to get where this guy's holding

my arm right you know if he's pissed off and drunk and whatever so then apparently somebody bumped into gaston oh no uh from the back while he was all pissed off. Gastineau turned around and fucking pummeled the guy. Turned around, just punched him in the face. They said the guy, quote, just sort of brushed against him by accident as he went by. Can you imagine? And this guy just turned around and starts fucking wailing on him. You're just out. You're like, I can't believe I got in this club.

Oh, my God, that hurt. Jesus, are you Mark Gastineau? With my good eye, I can see, is he dancing over me now? He's dancing, God damn it. So apparently at that point, it turned into a complete melee. You know, we've all seen this in movies, but imagine it in Studio 54, which is crazy.

So there's just more Coke floating through the air, more Coke dust in the air. And apparently the owner, Fleischman, said at one point he was thrown through the air and landed on his hip and elbow. So there's tables and chairs and bottles flying around and shit, and men flying, being tossed through the air. They said that Gastineau was in a bad mood all night because the Jets were planning to move to New Jersey.

Really? They were moving to Giant Stadium. He didn't want out of there. Yeah, Fleischman said that that was the bad move, and Fleischman, you know, bad mood was because of the mood. He was bitching about it all night. He says, quote, he was upset about the move. He lives way out in Long Island,

and I guess he doesn't want to commute. So he's got to buy a Jersey house. So he's going to pummel everyone in a bar because he doesn't want to commute so uh yeah and uh apparently gastineau ends up uh he ends up being arrested also ken o'brien gets arrested as well and they say everybody says that they all started the fight and uh a couple people sustained broken noses from this and the bartender filed an assault complaint uh that day and we'll find out what happens about that later on a lot of face punching that's a lot he was just going

around yeah wailing on people right in the head this is like a rodeo yeah i don't give a fuck yeah he's a crazy son of a bitch this guy you don't want to fight this guy that's insane was he part of the jets team they were calling gang green because that's hilarious that's he was part of no that was later that's hilarious. No, that was later. That's hilarious. That's later. He was part of the New York SAC Exchange. Gotcha. That's what they started calling him, 8384.

Not bad. No, it was okay. It's a decent name. I like gangrene better. Yeah, that's later. That's like 20 years later. But he must have been like, ooh. Oh, boy, I missed the boat.

Sweet. Awesome. It's so right that they drafted me. It's just right. It's so right that they drafted me it's just right it's just right so uh yeah he uh football fans were mad at gastineau for this because he you know it was a big deal and people were people were very now people let shit go with athletes back then they expected them to be role models they really did right my kid loves you how dare you go out and carouse you're so lucky to make so much money and play a game every athlete now that can do what they want basically as long as they don't say something bad on twitter as long as it doesn't get into the

fucking media so as long as they don't hit a woman or say something stupid on twitter they can pretty much get away with everything you can all thank charles barkley for that you should all thank him every day that you can be however you want to be. And nobody cares because he didn't want to be a role model. When he went and said that shit, people were like, how dare you? And they were like, you know, he's right. You know, yeah. Maybe you should watch your own kids and not let some fucking guy you don't know raise them by proxy.

Stupid. He also basically was saying saying don't let your daughters around us are you guys out of your fucking mind that's the other thing jesus they're gonna be impressed with what i do yeah they're gonna like it you know sorry i have charisma athletic and rich and an amazing car sort of attracted to young women you know i dig know yeah so uh 83 jet season though after the the melee here uh the he plays all 16 games starts all 16 he started every game after his rookie year so far here this year he dominates leads the league in sacks 19 sacks this year which is a monster monster year if you don't know football if you don't know football, if you don't know football, I should tell you what a sack is.

Sack is when the quarterback, who's the guy who takes the ball from under that guy's ass, looks like he's pulling it out of the one. There's a fat guy bending over. He burts the ball. The doctor fella, the obstetrician takes it back and he looks like he's going to throw it to somebody. If someone on the defense comes and tackles him while he's still back there trying to throw, that's a sack.

Behind the line of scrimmage. It's a big loss of yardage. It's a big morale killer. And it will concuss your quarterback. So this is a big deal when you do this. It's important to the game. It scrambles his eggs behind the line of scrimmage, making the next play so much bigger. And this guy's fucked up.

Oh, shit. Now it's third and 18 and i don't know where i don't remember the street i grew up on this is weird it's third and i can't count to 18 anymore fuck it's third and how many is that 81 i don't know i think i'm dyslexic now he hit me dyslexic coach i don't know what happened i can't read plays anymore the yokes in the white i'm fucked it's all fucked up that's what that red spot is so that makes that's an important thing 19 sacks he makes the pro bowl and his first team all pro in the league as well so now he's on his way now he's a he's a star now this is when it's a new york sack

exchange and uh you know in new york he's a giant star i mean kids have posters on the wall he's a big fucking deal uh now september 7th 1984 is court for studio 54 melee this was probably one of the longest misdemeanor trials in the history of new york state it was a three-week trial no kidding for a misdemeanor assault charge in a nightclub that's how if you have some money and some lawyers you can really tie some drag it out you can really drag it out run that red tape over everything oh my god uh problem is he keeps showing up late for the court which you're really not allowed to do at all uh yeah he called he showed up late for a second time on september 7th and the judge said quote you're a football player uh you're a football player but in baseball three football player, but in baseball, three strikes and you're out. So he says one more late appearance and he's going to he's going to, quote, impose bail to assure your presence.

So he says, Gastineau says, I had a flat tire. What do you want from me? Hey, what do you want from me? Said I had a flat tire is driving all the way here from Long Island. What the fuck do you want here? He, uh, uh, gas, uh, o'brien's charges are dropped by the way after that um because he showed up on time yeah yeah that's the thing uh i guess i guess apparently a uh one of the guys a companion of gastineau here marshall spurback was in the fight and he

said that gastineau had warned everyone before entering that he didn't want any trouble so he said don't start any shit i don't want to be in the newspaper tomorrow and that he said Gastineau had warned everyone before entering that he didn't want any trouble. So he said, don't start any shit. I don't want to be in the newspaper tomorrow. And then he said Gastineau even told Spurback at one point to knock it off when he began tossing flowers at a performer. He said they didn't want anybody to, you know, I don't want anybody saying anything. And then he said that nobody saw Ken O'Brien hit or kick anybody. He said at one point Spurback said a man came running at him.

I told him to cool it, but the man started to raise his hand, so I hit him in the face. He said they ended up tussling, and he said I hit him in the head a few times. And he said when he was leaving the club, he was leaving with Gastineau, he said that, quote, a little guy yelled, I'll take anybody, and I started chasing him but never caught up with him. So that's the type of melee we're dealing with here. take anybody and started and i and i started chasing him but never caught up with him so that that's the type of melee we're dealing with here now uh at this point though the judge believes agastino is a nice guy he says that quote i accept the fact that you're not a criminal uh in the true

in the true sense of the word only people the only people who should be afraid of you are opposing players in the national football league so basically gave a pat, not a slap on the wrist, a pat on the ass. Good job out there. And you, sir, may fuck off 90 days of community service. So nothing. As long as he completes it. As long as he does that. By the way, he never completes anything he's sentenced to.

That's going to keep coming up. Anger management? Fuck no. Rehab? Eat my shit fuck no not doing it he just doesn't do this stuff kidding me let's we'll find out 84 jets they go seven and nine but this is the year gaston oh this is his big year this is his star i mean last year 19 sacks is big but this year uh he plays in all 16 games has 22 sacks is big, but this year he plays in all 16 games, has 22 sacks for a new NFL record

that will stand for 17 years. I was just going to say, this year I'll bet the leader had 12 to 14. Yeah, 22 for him. That's crazy. Beastly, man. I mean, absolutely beastly. Makes the Pro Bowl, first team All-Pro, and he's the AFC Defensive Player of the Year on top of the world.

Everybody's licking his dick. Grace. This is Grace. I'm sorry. There's no... Can't get any better than this. Yeah. You know, even the thing he got in trouble for was kind of cool.

It's fun. It was a Studio 54... Yeah. How many people can say they've started a Studio 54 melee? Right. That's fucking awesome i'm sorry that's awesome and won it yeah you know who else said i ever talked about that charlie murphy and it became the biggest story funniest thing ever with rick james that's how that started to get smacked

in studio 54 this is crazy shit man so he's really got a lot going on. He won the Royal Rumble. He won the Royal Rumble. The Street Royal Rumble. The 54-man Royal Rumble. He's in there. With 22 sacks. Huge deal. Absolutely grace. Can't get it.

Like I said, even the thing he did wrong that he got arrested for, the judge was like, I think you're a great guy. And slapped him on the ass and said, get on out there and do it again. Wow. Now, February 1985, there's a woman here. Now, now he's married obviously to lisa and has a daughter but there's a woman who he also sort of lives with on the side according to her and court documents um they found it true uh february 1985 she says they moved in together and says they're together for about three years they met in 84 her name is jody dominici uh she is a uh she is a phoenix model she's a model in phoenix he meets her in a bar in phoenix okay would you like to see a picture of them together look at that hold on i need glasses look at that look at his hair wow it looks like that looks like a cover of a kenny rogers album that

is the cover of an action movie yeah like he's he just killed 150 russians and he's protecting her she looks like a 90s pop star protect her feathered hair and all puss no yeah she's pretty 80s pop star she's like 19 at the time too yeah but i mean look at him jesus and he looks great shirt open look at that gold chain on those glistening chest hair sitting on his shoulders his stash that's hilarious very burt reynolds minus the chest coif yeah he's a huge burt reynolds yeah yeah no he's a he's a he's a physical specimen here both of them uh but yeah so she so uh uh yeah they're together at this point that'll come up big later watch out out for that one. Oh, yeah. She's his Rossi?

Yeah, she's Janice Rossi. And Lisa's going to come to the door. In 2R? She's going to come. You're nothing but a whore. Rossi. Janice Rossi. In 2R.

2R. Superintendent. Get your own goddamn man. You have a whore living in your building. 2R. Rossi. Janice Rossi. Get your own goddamn man. You have a whore living in your building too. Rossi. Janice Rossi. Get your own.

God damn, man. I love good fellas. It's the best. So amazing. 85 Jets. 11-5 they are. They go to the playoffs, but they play New England, who would go on to get trounced by the Bears in the Super Bowl that year.

They lose 26-14 in the playoffs, but still a good year for Mark here. Starts 12 of 16 games. He had some injury issues. But he has 13.5 sacks, which is a great year. That's not bad at all. And anything over 10 is good. Real good. That's Pro Bowl stats today. Makes the Pro Bowl.

They made the Pro Bowl. Oh, that's dominant today. Today, guys don't do that as much. They really try to protect those quarterbacks. A lot more emphasis on that now. You don't want them to get hit. No. 86 Jets go 10-6 here. Go to the playoffs again against the Chiefs.

They win in the wild card round, 35-15. Weird score. And then lose to the Browns 23-20. Went on to lose to the Broncos in that drive that made Elway the good thing he is. It didn't matter. It didn thing he is it didn't matter didn't matter so 86 more some injury problems again for gaston oh here this is when it starts to kind of this is when it's falling apart he has his big peak at 22 and then it's kind of right off the hill he can slide whistle his whole rest of his career so he plays in 10 games this

year starts seven only has two sacks. What happened? A little different. Well, what happened in 87 was, 86 and 87, so that's the end of 86. He's injured a lot. So 87, he comes in 30 pounds lighter. Now, muscle-bound guys like that, when they come in 30 pounds lighter, that means they stop doing steroids is what that means.

And back then, there's no secret secret all these guys were doing steroids they were doing them to a fucking you know as much as they could pump into their bodies so he ends up trimming down to 255 from 285 of muscle uh he says though it's he did it on bicycling is how he did it he said you know easy just took the 30 pounds right off lots of cardiocling is how he did it, he said. You know, easy. Just took the 30 pounds right off. Lots of cardio. You know, yeah. He said it was the cycling on the Tour de Malibu, he called it, with a 55-year-old friend of his here. So the friend of his finished second in the past two years of the seniors division of the Ironman triathlon. Oh, he's actually on a bicycle.

That's what he said he's doing. But he also got off steroids, probably. As we'll talk about his stats, too's doing okay he also got off steroids probably uh as we'll talk about his stats too it sounds like he got off steroids he said that it was a daily 50 mile bicycle ride up decker canyon in the hills of malibu which uh it sounds 50 fucking miles crazy he says you go up decker canyon for an hour and a half to two hours and you're standing on the pedals in low gear all the way it's throw up city then you do another hill that's equally as hard i was wondering if i liked malibu or not uh don is a

motivator because he doesn't let age be a factor in his life he's giving me a new lease on life 30 years old is not a concern of mine i've got the same attitude now that i was when i was a rookie but he says he says that he can he's thinking about playing till he's 40 now so that's how healthy i feel i feel great he said i'm not thinking about playing until he's 40 now. That's how healthy I feel. I feel great. He said, I'm not thinking about the end of the rainbow. I'm too busy trying to climb it. Who the fuck climbs a rainbow?

I like the guys who played a long time. Alan Page played until he was 40. That's great. The big thing I learned is it's not the magazine ads or the clothing ads or the endorsements that people ask about. It's how the football is going. Football has been better to me than I realized i took it for granted when the injuries came and football was taken away i realized the other things were secondary so now he's just realizing you have those endorsements because of the football so yeah the football's got to be great that's yeah but you want the fucking endorsements because that's where big money that's where the

money is ask nba stars that's tom fucking brady yeah well ask an nba star who has a braun who has a hundred million dollar contract with his team and a 200 million dollar contract with a shoe company ask him which is more important to him ask michael jordan how he's doing today where'd he make more money on haynes and gatorade stock that he traded for advertising man or or a nike or fucking uh you know salary from the Bulls. The Chicago Bulls. Yeah, and he made a lot of money,

but still. So, 87 Jets go six and nine. This is a strike-shortened season once again here. November of 87, Mark appears on Hollywood Squares. What?

Hollywood Squares. Really? Yeah. With Shadow Stevens and Whoopi Goldberg? No, back then it was John Davidson was the host.

He looked like a mannequin, John Davidson. That night on hollywood square you want to hear who else was on the show uh joan rivers no kidding fuck yeah joan rivers awesome willard scott hell yeah fucking great uh spencer christian i don't know who the hell that is even jim j bullock yes he was a sitcom star too close for comfort but he was also on a lot of game shows yeah because he was a sitcom star from the early 80s. Yeah, he was a very kind of flamboyant guy.

He was there, Paul Lynn, from the 80s, basically. Peter Allen. Who the fuck is Peter Allen? Comedian? Sounds familiar.

I think he is. Regis. Oh, boy. Regis Philbin there. Mark Gastineau. Joan London, which is a weird morning,

good morning America lady. Dr. Ruth. Great. What a weird, brilliant, what a weird, oh, Dr. Ruth and Joan Rivers on the same lady. Dr. Ruth. Great. What a weird. Brilliant, by the way. Oh, Dr. Ruth and Joan Rivers on the same panel. Amazing. Shadow Stevens is the announcer, and he's also a panelist this night for some reason.

I think he used to be the center square shadow. Was he the center? No. He was like top left. Yeah, yeah. Center square is for stars. That's for Joan Rivers. Yeah.

Listen, sweetheart. Joan Rivers sits in the center square. Can we talk? Listen, sweetheart. Joan Rivers sits in the center square. Can we talk? Listen, sweetheart. This is for me. This is for me. So 87, he plays in seven games, and he has four and a half sacks. So it's not going terrific.

Between the 87 and 88 season, he apparently is not really seeing Lisa anymore, and he's also kind of not really seeing jody anymore because he begins to see brigitte nielsen brigitte nielsen will end up having a kid with brigitte nielsen and they go oh yeah oh he has a son with brigitte nielsen oh my he kept her in his life for this long oh that kid's got to be enormous first of all and insane six foot eight and crazy probably i don't know i don't want to put it on him but what his therapist how many times this therapist a couple of interesting parents yeah he's had some he's had some work done let's say holy shit so yeah he starts seeing brigitte nielsen which becomes a big

public thing this is after his her relationship with stallone so she is extremely famous at this point in time she's in a bunch of movies she's all if you don't know why i should probably tell people because if you're very young you know who the fuck brigitte nielsen is if you're over let's see if you're between the ages of 25 and 32 you know her from the surreal life and flavor of love right you know her from all the uh ought ought era vh1 reality show where you're going why is this woman 2005 to 2007 she's the very drunk super tall blonde lady where you're like why is she here oh my god this is why she's here look 77 but is really 48 somehow and she's like flavor get over here right on my back

somewhere i'm gonna take you over here and like yeah that's her uh if you if you're over 35 she's that chick from rocky four yeah and all the 80s and uh beverly hills cop 2 and all these she's that she plays a russian bad bitch in every 80s you know action movie she's the russian badass she's not russian at all no she's danish as a matter of fact so not even an accent. She has an accent, yeah. No, it's not an accent. It's not Russian. No. She has an accent. Is that an accent?

Fuck yeah. Really? Yeah, it's an accent mixed with alcohol. It's a lot. Because that doesn't sound like an accent to me. She's got an accent. All right. I don't believe it.

I don't believe it for a minute. 88 Jets here. They're going to go 8-7-1, but that doesn't matter because Mark's only going to play in seven games. He has seven sacks in seven games which is pretty decent here uh but on october 21st 1988 mark says he needs to retire right now now right now he finishes his career with 137 games played 74 sacks and uh officially unofficially he's got a lot more he's got over 100 but still uh october 21st 1988 he says i'm sorry i'm retiring because uh brigitte nielsen is soon to be his girlfriend at the time just

real revealed that she says she has uterine cancer oh no which calm down okay um uterine cancer is terrible yeah but we'll talk about it uh She came out in the New York Times and said, quote, I have cancer of the uterus. I'm trying to handle this in a positive way. We're going to decide how we deal with this. And he says, Mark says about Brigitte, my relationship with Brigitte was the primary reason for my returning to football this year and for what success I have enjoyed. Her sudden illness, for which we are now seeking medical treatment has caused me to put into perspective my career and the things

that are most important in my life. I hope that everyone will understand why I made this decision and will wish us well. Turns out she does not have uterine cancer at all.

She has no, she's fine. What? She's fine. We never know if she made it up for publicity because maybe

she was getting her heat was kind of wearing off because she was real big in 85, 86, 87. If maybe her heat was wearing down or whatever. But he apparently didn't know that because he fucking retired. He ate it. He retired. He believed it. Cashed in. He was making $850,000 a year.

Oh, my God. Cashed that all in because she has cancer that she doesn't have. Or if it was possibly, it could have been they thought she did and it turns out that she didn't. We don't know. But it went on for a while. So it's kind of weird. So that's all I'm saying. Now, troubles don't stop with the ladies here.

November 5th, 1988, he sued for $480,000. By who? By Jody, his model girlfriend there, who said that she said that he'd recently broken up with him because he called her to tell her that he is, she said, where have you been? And he said, well, I've been spending my nights with Brigitte Nielsen. And by the way, a photo of me and Brigitte Nielsen is about to appear in Star Magazine.

So, you know, you should know that. This is over. And so, yeah, we're, and, you know, I'm going to is over and so yeah we're and uh you know i'm gonna be hanging out with her now basically so they were not married no she can sue for four hundred thousand dollars well let's get into why she said just a total shock uh she said about the whole thing she said that uh um you know she was in a bar they met in a bar in arizona he approached her and all this sort of thing they said well why he said that she would she would she he she's saying he said he'd take care of her basically she's saying that uh uh she left her modeling career and her college education to

devote herself to uh to mark that's what that's what he wanted to do basically uh that was it um you know i don't know i don't so that's a dumb move it's a dumb move she said they said well why wouldn't you just tell him i'll see you when you get to arizona and all that sort of thing she says you just get your feelings you get told you are the most important thing that we're going to do it together that i'm going to be with you and you're going to be there for me i mean every girl wants love she sounds like she's ready to apply for 90 day fiance and import some guy who has no interest in her that's dude whenever you see like well i know he's 26 and i'm 48 and uh you know i'm i admit i'm not i haven't stayed in shape i'm not the most attractive lady and um yeah he's a personal trainer and an underwear model.

But I think he just loves me. I don't know if it's a connection we had. That isn't going to work. Because sometimes when it's a hot girl and older guy, sometimes it does work because he's got money and she's okay. And sometimes wherever the culture is where they're from, they don't care about the looks and they just want somebody that they can be with. Or also they're in a war-torn fucking cambodia or

some shit as the other the guys are like fucking yeah fuck you bitch green car like they don't funny as hell oh man so uh she said uh uh that she didn't uh she said i mean every girl wants love like my father would say love makes you do funny things. She said she had no thought of anything else. She said that because you're led to believe everything will be true, I didn't think I was making a dumb deal at all. I told Mark I needed a reference letter. How did he think financially I'd be able to start up again? He said, well, just tell them you worked for me. She said, okay, everyone's going to laugh at that one, and they did.

So she was smart she knew what was gonna happen yeah why she says that he told her to quit her job don't model get drop out of college and just be with him okay he'll take care of her so she did it what if he tells her to jump off a bridge well yeah you probably get sued for that too i'd imagine fucking stupid she said i'd probably say uh now she said if some if a girl approached me and said that someone had offered her offered her that i'd probably say sit down and let's talk she says that uh she says see i still look for trust in a guy i really do but i look more for support for me too i just say make sure it's a two-way street not a one-way street and love love makes you do the stupidest things you've got to make sure that you have a support

system behind you i think you will get mark in a room by himself and he's sitting there thinking i'm wrong i know and i know it if you if you you know i'm on mark's side yeah so this is crazy talk she uh i mean he's i'm sure she needs as an adult you need to be more yeah yeah she should he shouldn't be telling 19 year old girls quit your modeling career and drop out of college and i'll take care of you forever at the same time she should be like i'm cool i'm gonna you know i'm gonna have some guard up protect my assets and have a backup plan since i just met you at a bar right rely on a bar date to pay my bills are you fucking you're crazy that's fucking insane.

Never settle down with somebody that'll accept that. No, ever. That's goddamn crazy, man. If she's going to come after you in a dating environment and try to sue you, imagine what would happen if you were married. Forget it. She wants $480 just for dating. For being a side chick.

Fuck you. No. Interesting. That's not how life works. Turns out Brigitte Nielsen does not have cancer but had a dysplasia a cellular irregularity which was treated with a quick little surgery thing and she was fine yeah some ultrasound blast that's it so this dominici was 18 when she met gaston okay yeah and lived with him for three years and uh that's when she left him and blah blah he left her and all that sort of thing uh she uh also appeared on star search or she did appear she

appeared on star search in 85 october of 85 two and a half stars as a model yeah two and three quarters stars ed mcmahon fucking jerked it to her later that's perfect what a show let's rate this young lady's breasts very very weird everybody look at her and fucking just drive her self-esteem into the earth 17 years old everybody she'll have an eating fucking disorder in 10 minutes let's rate her sexual organs shall we and we watched that shit on Sunday morning. We were like, ah, look at this ugly bitch. Oh, God. Let's watch this hacky comedian. Yeah.

Let's watch this hacky comedian beat Dave Chappelle. Or the worst were like those singing little kids. Yeah. Their bright faces. Three and three quarter stars. Makeup and fucking hair and all perky. And they destroy. I'd be sitting there going i'd

love to beat the shit out of this guy as a kid i was like i'd love i wish that kid went to my school i would fucking pummel him i'm an eight-year-old i want to beat the fuck out of that other eight-year-old i want to bully that kid and i'm not even a bully type of kid but i want to take his lunch money i just want to i think that leotard up that boy's ass it's ridiculous ooh child things are gonna get easier oh yeah well let me turn you upside down and shake out your lunch money and see how easy it is then motherfucker not at orientation that's right take that wait till home room it's gonna get real hard every kid's saying that either that or somewhere over the rainbow those are your fucking-tos white girls sung yeah somewhere over the rainbow and and black girls sung uh things are gonna get

easier that was it that was those were the two fucking songs that they sang and they may have only just had like the rights for those songs they're like this is your choice you can sing this or row row row your boat those are its public domain those are your options you sing happy birthday and we'll throw you out on the balls of your ass yeah that's oh shit now also in this suit that dominici uh puts lodges against him she says she didn't find out until a month into them living together that he was married she didn't know he was married but separated from his wife so she thought they were like going to get married but they were she

wasn't so she's saying like i was duped into thinking that i had this other life and he was already married so that's that's the what she's trying to stand on it's a month into it but they stay together for three years well yeah she said that they reached an agreement at the start of the relationship that they would quote pull their earnings and yeah i just think of the eddie murphy joke now we have 275 million and 30 dollars and 75 dollars whatever it was it was very similar with me and my wife where i called her four yeah she made four grand one year. That's not nice. It's not. Be nicer to your wife.

That's why Jimmy got a divorce from his wife. That's why I'm divorced. But he did that because he was mad at her for other things. This shit was deep seeded and it went back a long way. You can't just take that and go, well, that's the problem. Jimmy's doing that. It was like that was a response to this. I assure you she deserved it.

It was like 50 backlashes later that leads to this. It's not great. So she said they would pool their earnings and share equally while they lived together. That was the deal. The lawyer said, quote, Jody and Mark shared expenses and utilized a joint checking account for payment of their bills and for deposits of their income. During the three years they lived together, she said she acted as a traveling companion, housekeeper, and babysitter for Gastineau's daughter, an accountant, business agent, and public relations manager for him,

and single-handedly handled Mark's large volume of fan mail. So, yeah, I mean, she's at least owed some salaries or something, yeah, over a few years of back pay, some shit here she was working for. She said he broke promises

made to her by failing to share his earnings, but yet took her earnings for his own financial support. The suit says, Jody has now missed the peak earning years of what would have been

a lucrative modeling career and has impaired relations with the Arizona modeling agencies as a result of Mark's insistence that she abandon her career in favor of assisting the advancement of his own. And so there's a sworn statement from Robert Black, which is the modeling agency there. Robert Black described her as an active model who was heavily booked until she began her relationship with Gastineau. He says, quote, at the time when she should have had been propelled toward a potentially successful and lucrative modeling career, Jody advised the agency she was no longer available for bookings because of time and travel commitments with Mark Gastineau.

So, yeah, now under an Arizona, because that's where they met and where she's filing the case under an Arizona ruling in 84, met and where she's filing the case uh under an arizona ruling in 84 property agreements between men and women who live together but are not married can be enforced by state courts if valid contracts existed between the parties to pool income and share in the proceeds right so they're going to fight about that for a while that's gonna be he said she said for a long time in court yeah finally next to 89 lisa files for divorce okay, he's having public. He's being sued by models, public relationships with. He's quitting careers for women. Danish actresses. This is crazy.

Finally. Yeah. He's quitting his careers for women. And she's still married. I'm not going to support the kids anymore because. Now, one thing about Lisa Gastineau that was claimed that was interesting around this time, she filed for divorce right before it, before john gotti went to jail there was a ton of rumors especially in new york that she was with john gotti that she was john gotti side broad here really that was the big

rumor and uh i mean in new york it was everything it was all over the place because there's got to be some truth it was huge well uh the one of gotadi's kids wrote a book here and uh and i have a thing out there where they say that she says that it wasn't true but that's what she's saying she said that the the tabloid said that dad showered gastineau with gold and diamonds and uh this went all the way up to his 1990 arrest they said that according to the tabloids gadi was scheduled to take gastineau to a sinatra concert, then a lavish dinner. But it never happened because he was arrested. She said John Gotti hated Sinatra and wouldn't dare attend a concert of his, which might be true.

Some of these old Italian guys will get some weird beef or something like, ah, fuck that son of a bitch. He might have saw him one time. That's the other thing, too. These mob guys have a real, he might have seen sinatra out somewhere sometime went up to him introduced himself and didn't quite get the same level of appreciation that he thought he should deserve and so he said fuck that guy yeah that motherfucker yeah he's lucky embarrass me in front of my friends exactly that's that's honestly probably what fucking happened you could see frank out there like yeah how you doing there pal that's great yeah like

i see what'd you say yeah whatever. What'd I say my name is? Is one of those things. You motherfucking. You motherfucking. She said, dad never attended a concert in his life. He disliked them. He said they were too loud and a breeding ground for trouble. I have to agree with you, John Gotti.

I was born like 50 years too late. I would have been a great old Italian man. Hey, what are you doing over there? Get the fuck out of here. What's with the noise? Come on. I would have been a great old Italian man. I'm just born too late.

I'm trying to sit here and stare at the wall. You're being so loud. Born too late, man. Born too late to be a good old guinea. That's a problem. Damn it. Someday. It's a breeding ground for trouble.

I'm not going. It's too fucking loud. It's a breeding ground. trouble i'm not going it's too fucking loud it's a breeding ground jerk offs it's just wall-to-wall jerk offs i would say that he's saying that about a concert which is exactly what i would say about a concert you've heard me say that about concerts no go stand there and watch people play a thing you went with your daughter by the way tickets on sale shut up and give me Murder.gov. Holy shit. You said that about a concert.

You spent quality time with your daughter. Oh, it was awful. Yeah. The people there were fucking terrible. I love my daughter, and I love spending time with her, but the concert's like, whoa, how can I kind of put myself out of my body for two hours? Any concert. I was like that when I was 15.

I went to Lollapalooza. Really? I went to see Rage Against the Machine and Cypress Hill together in one show. And I was like, this is just the worst. I'm going to buy the CD. I sat in the back. I was in the back just like, this is just terrible. Look at this fucking.

This is just pathetic. What are we doing? This doesn't sound as good as the CD. It sucks. Is that, I can't, it's so much, I can't even pick out the song. I don't even know what that song is. Which one? That's what I mean.

Oh, yeah. It was. I don't know. It's loud. Those concerts, those bands, you can't hear it. Who knows? And there's so much bass coming out of those subs. Yeah, it's a lot of bass.

If you're not standing next to the stage, all of them sound the same. lot of bass if you're standing if you're not standing next to the stage all of them sound the same and if you're at a rage cypress hill concert in new york in 1994 there's just violence everywhere it was fucking bedlam man it was too much and they're promoting like major drug usage oh god fuck you i won't do this like people's arms are flying through the fucking area like body parts yeah it's too much it's a lot for us kids at the time we were nuts anyway that whole album was just about fuck everything yeah everything and ever both of those were and yeah it was a tear it down tear it down so 1990 comes along yeah and uh nobody in the nfl wants him no he's washed up basically uh so june 13th 1990 he signs with the bc lions of the

canadian football league oh yeah he goes there um he ends up uh in the first game he's there which is fucking hilarious season opener against the calgary stampeters he's basically just fighting everybody um yeah he was the guy named dan wicklam who was a linebacker for calgary at one point gastineau ripped the helmet off his head off of wicklam's head and smashed it on the turf and broke it he broke the helmet he broke the helmet he took it off his head and smashed it on the ground till it broke a helmet that smashes from a man's weight into another man's helmet with his weight that's how hard artificial turf is by the the way. Unbelievable. How hard turf is if you can do that. And then handed him back a face mask

with shit dangling off of it. Here you go. That's a strong man. He got in shoving matches with a bunch of people here, like crazy. Then he ended up trading punches with an offensive tackle at one point. It was crazy.

One of the offensive linemen on the other team said, quote, it's really bad. I'm surprised the people in the CFL let them get away with it. Gastineau ends up getting ejected along with some other people. It's a goddamn mess. In the end, as he's being ejected, he rips somebody else's helmet off as well. And then, yeah, he says, quote, you take so much, then you defend yourself. Which, you know, they were giving him shit because he's Mark Gaston. He's famous.

They're going to fuck with him in a shit league like that. That's what happens. Hey, pretty boy. Where's Brigitte Nielsen? All this shit. So you give up your career for a fucking actress. Yeah. Turns out, though, he has a knee injury after two games and they hold on to him for two

more games and then say, fuck it. And he's cut on July 23rd, 1990. So he's in the league for a month uh he does play in a game with doug flutie's on the other team it's pretty interesting so i was like that's kind of cool and flutie and gastonow in the same game on the way on a entirely different trajectory yeah no shit okay april 1991 jesus christ authorities in palm springs california tip off phoenix police that a package addressed to gastonow is going to arrive in phoenix at sky harbor airport on delta airlines

and that package contains a shitload of drugs so uh they end up intercepting him at the airport in april of 1991 and they they don't know he has a package of 200 pills and they don't know what they are so he's questioned and released pending testing of the pills. Got it. So they do that. More to come on that. So there'll be warrants. They're hanging on to the pills.

They're hanging on to the pills and hanging on to the right to file charges against him. More to come. June 8, 1991, let's try boxing. He makes his boxing debut. Of course. We're going to buzz through. We're not doing where they are and all that shit. He fights derek dukes in his first fight who is a wrestler he's a if you remember if you're an old awa fan in the 80s he was the one black guy the awa had on espn in

the late 80s you see that one black well there was the the other one too there was a rice guy i think was black too but two derek dukes yeah i know mediocre kind of a jobber kind of wrestler opening match preliminary kind of guy uh yeah he uh he ends up fighting gas no gas no knocks him out in the first round and uh dukes will later say that he was paid to throw this fight he absolutely took a dive and he's oh and three in his career i assume probably three dives he's just paid to dive yeah that's what he does. He's a wrestler. Hey, this guy looks like he can make it look like he's hurt really well. So 1-0 for him here.

June 1991, the divorce finally comes through with Lisa here. And a New York judge grants Lisa the New York home valued at more than $400,000. She gets in the deal and also ordered him to pay $18,500 a year in alimony and child support. That is not a lot. No. $18,500 a year.

But back then, it was a bit much. Well, at this point, he has no income. He's boxing. Oh, that's terrible. Yeah, he has no income. That's not good at all.

Yeah, 18.5. He's probably making 18.5 a year right now. It's not going great all. Yeah, 18.5. He's probably making 18.5 a year right now. It's not going great. July 26, 1991, police in Arizona decide it's time to charge Mark here. Yeah. And they say that they ran lab tests, and it indicated that they were fentermine, which is a type of amphetamine used by, it's an appetite suppressant, and it's a prescription only thing.

Oh, no. So, yeah, you can't have 200 of those shipped to you at the airport. of amphetamine used by it's an appetite suppressant and it's a only it's a prescription only thing so yeah you can't have 200 of those shipped to you at the airport so not not great so they the police say that a warrant has been issued for him they say quote there's likelihood Gastineau would be charged with possession of dangerous drugs which is a class 4 felony when

he's located so yeah that's not great for Mark here. So now he's got to hide from Arizona. August 22, 91, he fights Mike Ackley, who we've talked about. He looks like Dr. Phil. Imagine Dr. Phil in a box.

He's as bald as Dr. Phil. He's a fat guy who looks like the time to make the donuts guy got in the ring. 11-19-1. 11 people lost to this man wow and now they can't tell their kids about it mark wins this one in the third round third round tko 2 and 0 for mark september 11th 1991 he fights tim murphy in his debut uh he's an 0 and 3 career fighter knocks him out in the first round 3 and-0 for Mark. October 16, 1991.

He's just every month. Charles Nail he fights. 0-1 career fighter. This is the only fight he ever has. Knocked out in the first round. He's sensing a pattern. He's starting to get suspicious here about some of these fighters. Still don't look good.

Yeah. 4-0. November 13, 1991. He makes a deal in Phoenix on the drug case. Makes a deal. Phoenix on the drug case. Makes a deal. What's the deal? Deal is they are going to drop drug possession charges against him if he completes a one-year drug treatment program. Got it.

Reasonable as fuck. The deal is an agreement worked out, calls for dismissal of the felony count, which you want that. That's huge. That's big. The drug diversion program is offered to most first time offenders they say program includes counseling community service and periodic drug tests he appeared in a in a hearing here uh wouldn't answer any questions but the drug program admits no wrongdoing that's the other thing the charges are dismissed we both know you got a problem you go

work it out i remember that yeah uh he ends up not showing up for any of that shit. None of it. Charges are totally revived. And now they're pissed, too. Yeah. Oh, he didn't show up for a fucking thing. Nothing. Didn't submit to drug tests.

Didn't do drug treatment or counseling. Nothing. Just said, well, fuck you. I'm going to go do what I do. What is that? I can't imagine. How do you just do that? I don't know.

You just out of sight, out of mind. I'm not in Arizona now. I mean, if they don't write my name down. Plug it. I claimed present. Now I got to go. You're just out of sight, out of mind. I'm not in Arizona now. I mean, if they don't write my name down, I claimed present. Now I've got to go. That's it. So December 17, 1991, he fights schoolboy Jimmy Baker. The schoolboy here, 15, 20, and 1 career. This is a second round TKO for Mark.

He's 5-0. Next month in January, he fights schoolboy again. Knocks him out in the first round this time. Schoolboy 2. Schoolboyed him twice here. 6-0. February 8, 1992, he fights Kevin Barch, who is a 0-1 career fighter. This is his only career fight.

First round TKO, 7-0. February 22, 1992, he fights Troy Berg, 0-2 coming in, 0-3 career. His last fight, first round TKO. Again, 0-2 coming in. 0-3 career. His last fight. First round TKO. Again, 8-0 for Mark. Who's setting these up? Well, we'll find out. It's all being set up in a certain way.

It's clear. April 3rd, 92. In Reno. The whole Sheriff's Department is coming to watch that one. Sheriff's Department. Versus Lon Liebergen, who's a five and six career fighter first round tko again so nine and oh now his manager or his promoter i should say mark's promoter is a guy named rick elvis parker oh boy so old elvis parker basically there's all

the allegations are that uh the first nine fights were fixed yeah they were all fixed all these fights is what they say um guys took dives or he put guys in there just had no business being in a ring with that yeah here's this guy yeah he's oh no it's his debut some schmuck who doesn't know what he's doing go get knocked out quick it's it's one of those deals uh and a few of them actually confirmed they did take dives they did take money they took dives after they retired they can say that good lord so yeah who's this elvis guy is he just like elvis parker he's a promoter okay shit he'll fight promoter who's got a famous guy that he's trying to make a buck off his name marries people on the weekend yep and his dress is all up yeah and his mediocre you know mediocre fighting skills and a half

famous name he's gonna try to make a couple bucks off it so june it was the reality show of its time june 9th 1992 he fights tim doc anderson who we're going to talk about okay uh do not google tim doc anderson because uh you're going to find out all about him next week do not google him right uh now tim doc anderson's a 27 and 16 career fighter that's a great fighter he's a real fighter tim doc he's a. He's a journeyman. Legit, yeah. Legit fighter. Now, Parker apparently says, Elvis Parker, he says he was promised a big payday for Gastineau against George Foreman on his comeback there if he could get Gastineau to 12 and 0. That's why they set up these tomato cans for the guys in the beginning. They have to build up 12 wins before they're legitimate.

12, 13, 14, 15. That's when you start seeing them fighting decent fighters. So this fight, he fights Doc Anderson, who fucking knows what he's doing. By the way, Parker offers Anderson money to take a dive in this fight. And Anderson refuses. And the fight goes the distance. And Anderson wins by unanimous decision. So Gastineau loses the fight.

Rather than taking a dive, he won. So 9-1, he goes to now Gastineau. July 11, 1992, he fights Randy Davis, who's a 5-11 career fighter, and knocks him out in the first round. 10-1. September 15, 1992, he fights Rick Hoard, who's 1-5 coming in, 2-9 career. This is really cream of the crop here. First round knockout.

Then he fights November 16th, 92, Gary Schull, making his debut on a 1-3 career. Fourth round TKO, 12-1. December 3rd, 1992, Rematch against Tim Doc Anderson. Yeah. Okay. This round here, Anderson basically insists that he was drugged. He says his water bottle tasted funny. Yeah. He felt funny the whole match. He couldn't get hit.

I know how that feels. He couldn't focus. He just couldn't fight the same. He was a step slow. He couldn't figure out what it was. Damn it, Houston, Texas. He said he was lightheadedheaded nauseous and hallucinating oh my god after the fight he went in the locker room and passed out really like fell over from the whole thing and passed out what stems from this is absolutely fucking insane just mayhem it's next week's episode do not google him but i'm telling you what stems from

this is this guy his whole life yeah his trajectory from here on out completely changed into a crazy crime and a what it's fucking insane yeah and uh gastonow just shrugs and forgets this guy he if you ask gastonow today you know tim doc anderson i don't know what you're talking about whereas tim doc anderson would go that motherfucking mark gastineau fight was the only turning point of my life it's so weird how it can affect two people yeah totally different this time uh gastineau wins this is how good of a fighter as he is though even drugged it takes gastineau six rounds to knock him out so you know he's still knows how to hang in there and protect himself and shit like that. This brings him to 13-1 Gastineau. Now, December 19th, 1992, 1 p.m., middle of the afternoon, not Studio 54.

Instead, the Lynn Brook Long Island Railroad Station at 1 p.m. The complete opposite of Studio 54 at 2.20 a.m. Police officers there notice a car illegally parked and run a check on the license plate and realize it's Mark Gastineau and that he has a warrant out for his arrest from Arizona. Yeah, because you have to go do your shit. Yeah, he's charged with failing to appear on a charge of possessing a dangerous drug. And basically all the charges are reinstated and he's fucked here. So he's returned to Phoenix from New York to face the drug charge. And yeah, he...

Extradited. Extradited. He was booked into the Maricopa County Jail after midnight. Oh, no. Not good. That's a bad time. Yeah. You went from movie stars, and now you're in a fucking jail.

In Maricopa County. In Maricopa fucking county jail. After midnight. He could be in a tent right now. Yeah. What day is this? This is bad stuff. This is early in the year. So this is, oh, December 19th, 92.

You can survive out there. It's not going to die. But he's not good right now. He's got to be taking stock. If you're sitting in a fucking tent, or even the jail's downtown, if you're sitting there, you have to be thinking, that's city though, isn't it? No, that's county. That's all county. That's city, though, isn't it? No, that's all town.

You have to be thinking to yourself and you could not be there just by going to some drug counseling. You have to be thinking to yourself, why did I fuck this up so bad? What did I do? Right. Why? I mean, Jesus Christ. You don't know what's going to happen to you. You're in some fucking Arizona prison.

You're like a famous dude. And like, you don't know. There's a lot of crazy people here in jail from all over the place it's nuts you never know one day he's in his cell in the jail and fucking there's a knock at the door he's like who is knocking on my cell door what is going on here and he opens the door guns blazing it's the mexican pimp standing there. He's very surprised. And he says. How is it you've come to arrive here? Why are you here? You had it all.

Why? You have models. You have model shoes. 18 years old. Valuable to sell. You could have gotten, rather than pay her 400,000, you get people to pay you for her. I have taught you nothing.

I have taught you nothing. I'm always waiting on some disgusting phrase for a woman's vagina to come out. Brigitte Nielsen, I sell her by the inch. I sell her as a fantasy vacation experience. I say you oil her up and ride down her like a log flume at Splashdown. It's wonderful, but I don't understand you. You do wrong.

I'm sorry. I have to go. Poof. And a poof of shit and bullets and tequila. He's gone. Lime wedges and coronavirus. Mark is going, where the wedges and coronavirus mark is going where the fuck am i this is why i left arizona this is why this weird shit happens in jail here so march 30th 1993 he has to go to court for the sky harbor drug situation here and he uh she's they're so pissed at him i'm sure He pleads guilty now to a reduced charge of possession of drug paraphernalia.

He's getting possession now. Of drug paraphernalia. Better, that's not a felony. Is it a misdemeanor? Yeah, I think so. It's stipulated that he could not be sentenced to serve any jail time. That was the original thing there. He was originally, you know, the original charge, dangerous drug possession, was punishable by up to five years in prison.

So this judge, though, says, you, sir, may fuck off three years probation and a $1,400 fine. So probation's worse than what he would have had to do before. So that was stupid. 200 pills inked you for trafficking. That's what I mean. He's lucky as fuck. Yeah. He's lucky as shit.

I don't know. Federal laws. I feel like if he wasn't famous, he you for trafficking. That's what I mean. He's lucky as fuck. Yeah. Yeah, he's lucky as shit. I don't know. Federal laws? Yeah. I feel like if he wasn't famous, he's getting trafficking. Oh, he'd be getting 20 years. Yeah. So, I don't know. And they'd be trying to give him 20 years anyway.

So, June 7th, 1993, he fights a man named Sampson. Yeah. One word. Sampson. Just Sampson. That is the fighting share. Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Cramden

sorry I had to half bake immediately what Samson yeah Dave Chappelle I want to talk to Samson so

Samson's an 0-1 career fighter because this is his only fight first round knockout 14-1 gets Mark you know back on the

of course back on the horse here June 18th 1993 he fights terry miller why are they letting this man box you know what he was coming into this fight oh and 10 oh boy sorry you haven't won one you got to 10 you're not like career oh and 12 is that when you finally realized oh and 12 was the time you're gonna be 30 and 10 one day i just wanted to get a dozen fights in real bad. My family's all,

bakers, it's a superstition. You know how it is. I had to get a dozen and see how it was doing. You can't judge yourself until after the first dozen fights. You know how it works. Double digit losses without a win. It's over.

Stop. It's done. So he fought 12 times and never got to win. That really sucks. That's pretty rude. Never felt how good it feels to win. Damn. But he's felt how bad it feels to lose plenty.

Round three, TKO. That's the difference between me and him. We have the exact same winning percentage. Exactly. I just haven't been pummeled also. That's what would suck is you've been beat up. He got knocked out in the third round here. So that means he got punched for two and a half rounds and then knocked out, which is awful.

No one wants that to happen to him. Jesus Christ. He got beat up for like eight minutes. Yeah, he got beat up for like eight minutes and then was unconscious. Too unconscious to continue. So, I mean, that tells you a lot right there. And he did that 12 times. Right.

Why? Glutton for for punishment this fucking guy is so i'd rather be oh and oh that's what i mean so 15 and one for all mark here now april 12th 1994 he fights craig thurber uh who this is his debut fight yeah and this fight turns out to be a no decision. I don't know what happened here, but it's just a no decision. The fight never happened, and Thurber never fights again. It's not even a draw.

No, it's nothing. It's a no decision. So this guy has an 0-0 career record, but he fought once. How shitty is that? I'm going to be a pro boxer. What's your record? 0-0? I did fight, I swear.

It's a no decision yeah so 15 and one for uh for mark still because that's a nothing fight and here's his last fight november 3rd 1996 he fights alonzo highsmith you know he is no ex-nfl running back alonzo highsmith no ex-nfl running back who goes on to be a pro fighter. Oh! Yeah. He's a good running back too, Highsmith. Who did he play for? The Oilers, if I'm not mistaken. Really? Yeah, Houston. He's 15-0-1 coming into this fight too. He's doing

well. Yeah, his career, 27-1-2. Oh. And he beat some decent fighters. Really? Yeah. Highsmith was no joke. He was a good fighter. And Mark found that out with a TKO loss in the second round. Alonzo whooped his ass. And he realized, maybe I'm A, too old for this because he's 40 right now. A little old for boxing, guys.

Maybe we should just keep paying people to lose because that was working more. Yeah. You're not Floyd Mayweather with the hand speed. You're a 40-year-old defensive lineman with bad knees, dude. No, it's over for you. So, yeah, 15-2, and that's going to be his boxing career as well. Done, done. Done, done, done.

So what is not done, though, is his police arrest career. That is about to take a major upswing. Right. I like how he puts one thing down to pick another thing up. Yeah. That's what I like. He's not a multitasker. He likes to focus.

Yeah. Football, football, football. I'm going to get arrested a few times and then i got a box for a while and then back to getting arrested yeah it's good i like it focused yeah it's easier for me to chronicle too at that point so february of 1998 uh or yeah february 1998 he's arrested here he's charged with third degree assault for allegedly attacking his 33-year-old girlfriend on a Queen Street corner. Oh, boy. We've really gone downhill, bro.

You went from picking up models in bars, 18-year-old models, and having them quit their jobs to live with you, to abusing 33-year-old women on a Queen Street corner. Oh, boy. Like a fucking bus driver. Who are you, Ralph Cramden? The fuck is wrong with you? you no you don't do that you used to get into studio 54 guys who work for con ed beat their girlfriends on the corner in a queen street corner that's who beats their girlfriends on a queen street corner con ed workers some guy you know fucking skyscraper guy those guys leave that for

a drunk port authority yeah what are? Get the hell out of here. Jesus Christ. Maybe a Metro North employee. That's just for my brother. Yeah. So he was... Yeah, he's charged with hitting her and bruising her face and wrist here. This is...

We'll find out exactly what he was charged what he they said he did here but uh later on he's released he'll end up being released on the condition that he attend anger management class and stay out of trouble uh september 3rd 1998 uh he's arrested for assaulting a different woman this is a manhattan woman this is the second time obviously this year he's been arrested for attacking women this incident this has happened on august 25th he slapped a 42 year old woman quote four or five times paintbrush her jesus paintbrushed her yeah uh four or five times threw her against the wall and choked her that's too much that's you know what really anything's too much that is way a lot super excessive that's a

woman that's to yeah to do like to go that far i will give him credit for this age appropriate good for you mark he did right in your wheelhouse same age as him so that's good at least he's not it didn't say slapped around 19 year old girlfriend so and so right so that i appreciate but don't slap anybody especially your girlfriend stupid At least it wasn't on a queen street corner, I guess. After which you choke her against a wall. That's a different level of personal. You know what I mean? You're inches away from their face and staring them in the eyes.

It's fucking horrifying. Well, then he did more after that, though, too. Yeah. The woman told police that she was his girlfriend but he is his lawyer denied that that was their relationship uh he's charged with third degree assault menacing and criminal possession of a weapon want to know what the weapon was after he slapped her four or five times choked her up against the wall he picked a table up over his head and threatened to fucking smash her with a fucking table a tapeoids, anyone?

Would anyone like some? That's really fucking crazy. I'll beat you with a table? Okay, I've never heard a table used as a weapon before. Not like that. You know what? A crime in sports first. 199 episodes.

We've had every kind of domestic violence humanly possible. Nobody's picked up the dinner table yet. No one has picked up the dinner table and said i'll fuck you up with this table that is new you want to go bitch you want to go because you know the funny thing about that not that this is funny obviously it's a terrible situation but the fact that when he picked it up and held it over his head you know he went ah you know he did you know did. He had to get it over his head and go, Ah, this is stupid. What am I doing? I'll fucking smash you with it.

How much, what do you have to be on for that to be okay in your mind? Is this an appropriate response to anything that's happening? That's legitimately grabbing the closest object. This fucking table. Ah! What if his car was there? Just rip the door off and chase her with it what was he i'll beat you with this bumper it's so what a weird thing to do just wait till i get these

windshield wipers off i'm gonna spank the shit out an antenna is terrible that's good that's solid he would pick something bigger i feel like let me hold on i'm getting the hood off wait till i get in the trunk and get this tire out yeah i gotta get that i'm gonna fling the spare out or like a discus and see if i can take her down and she flees from me so he's having a bad year yeah uh two beatings one on the street corner and this one neither of these are look good no they don't look good for you uh yeah this is at 2 a.m how do you not grab the chair? Nope. Table. Whole table. Because it's more dramatic. What are you more scared of? The guy with the table.

Dude. A monster in your house. Huge guy slapping and choking you and then picking up a fucking table. That is scary. I feel bad for this woman. Jesus Christ. High five to both of them for having the ceilings for that capability. That's true. Yeah.

Good job. That's a nice place. You got to have at least some 12 footers for that the ceilings for that capability. That's true, yeah. Good job. It's a nice place. You've got to have at least some 12-footers for that. On the swing of it up, you're going to... Yeah. Yeah, I don't know how big the table is. Take some chunks of ceiling out. He didn't take out the popcorn at that point, so good for him. But yeah, this is terrible.

This is getting scary. He hasn't really been too much of a domestic assaulter before this, and I don't like the way this is turning for him. We've got two in a row. Yeah. Also, he's not quite right in the head later on we find out later on that he'll have some issues from uh getting hit in the head which doing both of them uh yeah or an early the early onset of that is uh

you know temper yeah and uh unable to control your impulses and emotions reactions to things you know overreaction screaming and picking a table up and threatening a woman with it is a good thing of, hey, maybe we should check his brain out. Make sure it's okay. So, yeah, this is, I mean, yeah, dude, I feel bad for these women. How do you come in contact with this guy? You're like, oh, Mark Asno. He's this famous football player and he's picking up tables.

I really do. I mean, Jesus Christ. He's got a kid, by the way. Yeah. I haven't heard much about her have you no brit no yeah you know and you won't boy right and the boy oh yeah yeah doesn't care about that yeah long gone and the britney i think about 2002 she won't talk to him again never that'll be it she's out he's out of her life and she was estranged at that point i mean honestly even at that point you know if someone has brain damage and their kid won't talk to them, you feel bad for them. I mean, I feel bad for all these people, Jimmy.

All of them, but not nearly as bad. Oh, my God. As I feel for Mark Gastineau. There's got to be so many. Account executive at Arrow Sign Company in Sacramento, California. Real nice LinkedIn picture of him with a big old fish in a lake. Oh, yeah. Good for you.

That's impressive. Good shot there. Mark Gastineau, material handler at Meggett Avionics in the U.S. Mark Gastineau, chief operating officer at Next Agency in the greater Los Angeles area. And Mark Gastineau, mouse at Disney ABC television group in New York. I don't know what that means. Does he play a mouse? Maybe a guy who plays a mouse.

Oh, wait. No, I'm thinking. Disney is ABC, isn't it? Yeah, the same thing. Does he play a mouse? Maybe a guy who plays a mouse. Oh, wait, no, I'm thinking. Disney is ABC, isn't it? Yeah, the same thing, yeah. Maybe he works for Disney? Apparently. It says he does. Who knows?

Or he says maybe he's just a mouse in New York City. There you go. Maybe his Mark Fievel Gastineau is his name. We don't know. So October 10th, 1998. Mark is charged with more problems here. Apparently the table, by the way, was a large glass table. Oh, my God.

That's even worse. That's heavier and crazier. If you hit somebody with that, that's to the sharks. Oh, you're going to kill them. James, oh, my God. The woman is a woman named Patricia Shore. Patricia Shore is his girlfriend, by the way, and a membership sales manager at the manager at the vertical club gym uh yeah his girl the lawyer said that it is gas and his girlfriend at this time

uh but her lawyer says oh by the way they're actually married and she might be pregnant oh no on top of that i will bash you at this table this is pregnant how dare you it's wow pregnant wife of mine uh yeah assistant district attorney said that she received a voicemail message from gaston or from gaston oh this attorney received it just the da received an attorney a message from gaston oh saying he was with shore the prosecutor said that she also had information that he was in another state with shore and we don't know if he's if she's with him voluntarily they made it out like he kidnapped her and then called the da and told us about it no they're just together um that's how it is here uh shore's friends though said they're concerned for her

safety so there's literally like we need to find this woman to make sure she's safe uh which i mean that would be good uh gastineau's attorney says Shore does not feel in danger and that she, quote, never asked for an order of protection. At the time, they said the complaining witness is in love with Mark Gastineau. They've gotten married and she may be pregnant. That's Mark's lawyer say that. Complaining witness. Now they have. Yeah, they've gotten pregnant.

She will refuse to testify against him or anything like that. But this allegation is that he violated an order of protection, came from the neighbor who saw him going into the building. So that violation, whether she wants him to or not, there's an order of protection, and somebody alerted him, so he violated the order of protection. So that's that. The attorney also said they didn't know where Gastineau was.

This is obviously getting out of fucking control with all this craziness. There's something slipping away from him. And I mean, the only thing I could see slipping away more would be the profits and all these sales, Jimmy. The sales! Oh, the sales. It's the only thing I could see slipping away more. If you happen to be in October of 1998

in the Poughkeepsie, New York area. Oh, no. Which is terrible. It's your joint. It's terrible. Check out the sales here. Head on down to the PC warehouse. Down the street is where James lives.

Oh, baby. And Wappinger's there. I was in Phoenix by then. You can get a 32 megabyte of memory, so basically 32 megabytes of RAM. Yeah. Think about that. The first iPod ad more yeah a 32x cd-rom though so that's good also a floppy disk drive you're gonna need that everybody there

a keytronic keyboard and logitech mouse comes with windows 98 cd and license lotus smart suite 97 749 dollars wow you couldn't fucking get on you couldn't check your email on that take you a week here's a different one with an intel pentium 2 300 mmx this is 64 bits 64 megabytes of ram now we're talking here same deal though with the floppies and all that uh windows 98 1099 for this pile of shit that six months from then would was completely obsolete and slower than dog shit useless useless uh not great there also monitors are on sale oh baby color printers come out and get them uh now let's say you're looking for a sale you found your computer yeah and you know but you're lonely say you're looking for a sale. You found your computer, but you're lonely. You're lonely at home.

How about the personal ads? Let's check what kind of sales they have on people here. In print? In print from the New Poughkeepsie Journal. Want to see some, Jimmy? I remember these. Oh, these are great. These are so good.

Here's one. Now, I love the bold titles of these. Personality Plus. That's the bold title. That is such a hacky-ass thing to say. Yeah, well, that also means you're fat but cool. Plus. That's the bold title. That is such a hacky-ass thing to say. Yeah, well, that also means you're fat but cool. That's what that means.

42-year-old, divorced, mother of two, 5'1", blonde hair, hazel eyes, enjoys dancing, walks, swimming the ocean, taking trips, seeking mail, 30 to 55 with a great personality

and similar interests. Okay. Go back to the... All the measurements except for one important one. Yeah. Here's one. Don't pass this up. What is this? A fucking, what am I getting?

Free show time for three months? What am I getting? A used car? A low mileage? Attractive, educated, educated slim unencumbered divorced white female 40s in other words 49 yeah enjoys hurrying my birthdays next month 40s you know enjoys dancing dining travel weekend getaways movies zoos, quiet, anything basically. And more. Seeking a divorced white male. Why divorce?

40s to 50s who's sincere. You just shrugged your pool, dear. Yeah, and educated with a good sense of humor. I mean, most of them are divorced. Here's one. 22-year-old professional, light-skinned mother of one, likes dining out, dancing, and more. Looking for mature Puerto Rican male,

over 38 years old, who can help me with my spanish class and show me a good time quote thugs need not apply i swear to god it says that on the fucking listing mature mature this means like yeah sure seven inches i'd like yeah it's very mature it's matured uh here's one quote Quote, looking for Norman. Who the fuck is Norman? She met him a long time ago. 35-year-old, 5'6", 130-pound, single mother with brown hair and blue eyes, enjoys hiking,

camping, movies, reading, good people, seeking an intelligent male who's not into head games. Right. Oh, boy. I had a one-night stand with a man named Norman, and he was amazing. He was the best. Yes. Here we go. To know me is to love me. Oh boy.

Oh boy. She's friendly, mature, blah blah blah, looking for someone 24 to 32. Here's one. Still available. That's what it says. We know. Still available. 34 year old, 5'2", slightly full figured but attractive, single white female

with blonde hair, blue eyes, enjoys sports and trying new things in other words i'll do whatever i'm just i'm still here i'm looking for somebody very grateful 34 the clock i hear that yeah that's that's ticking right someone put one in me uh here uh companionship possible relationship here we go uh new adventures yeah 40 year old single mom uh looking for attractive male likes to meet new people. Oh, is she a swinger? I don't know.

Here's one. It's a Good Thing. That's the title. Oh, it is. 49-year-old, 5'5", slim to medium build, single mother. It's a good thing. I'm not quite 50. It's a good thing.

Almost there. Sophisticated, educated male, 25 to 55, at least 5'9". Sorry, Jimmy. Yeah. You're out. With similar interests interests i feel so bad for short guys like that because there's women are cold women will just oh my god i mean men men will do this see this is the different stuff men will be like i wouldn't fuck her she's fat or

she's ugly but then if they were alone she'd fuck her yeah whereas the woman just looks at a guy if it's under her height requirement she just goes goes, nope. You're done. You are fucking done. She does not want your genetics in her fucking kid. That's it. And it's not even that she doesn't want your kid. Oh, it is. She just doesn't want to fuck you at all. I'm not having short children with you.

Fuck off. That's what she's saying. That's exactly what she's saying. She won't have a one night stand with you. That's what I mean. She doesn't want anything to do with you. If your sperm accidentally got inside of her, that's like from the beginning of time don't breed with the short ones it's true i have seen tweets that were like just it's just directed at the short people and it is fucking brutal it's fucking brutal it's brutal i've never

heard women like if you're over six two fuck off need not apply never never never never happened once i mean i'm sure there's women who don't like tall guys we're over 6'2", fuck off, need not apply. Never. Never. Never happened once. I mean, I'm sure there's women who don't like tall guys. We're going to get tweets. I like short guys. I'm sure you do. For the most part, though. You are the vast minority. They're okay with a short guy, but they're not like, I'm really looking for a guy who's

like 5'5". It's like a real, I just want him to be like. Right around 5'8 is perfect. Pinch his cheeks. Nobody looks at a 5'8 guy and goes, perfect. Perfect. Anybody dating a 5'8 guy goes, that'll do. Yeah.

Oh, shit. That's good enough. 5'8 or under is... He's really nice. Yeah. He's got a good job. He's really nice. He's got a good job.

He goes down on me for hours because it's fucking eye level. He's super supportive. Doesn't mind if I go out with my friends. His back doesn't hurt when he goes down on me because he's fucking eye level. He's super supportive. Doesn't mind if I go out with my friends. His back doesn't hurt when he goes down on me because he's standing up. Because he's standing up. I'm sorry we're taking so much time on these personals, but they're hilarious and I love them.

And I'd like to do a whole show with just these. Here's one. Where's my man? Oh, boy. Attractive single white mom, 40. They're all 35 to 49 here uh blonde hair green eyes 110 pounds enjoys camping boating weekend trips harley's nascar cuddling and more she seems like a girl there yeah that's your girl uh hard to believe here's a hard to believe

single italian catholic female yeah real hard to believe no one could deal with you by the women of my family based on every mob movie there's a reason my wife is irish german put it that way can't believe you're single yeah nope nope i knew that early on i was like i am marrying an italian girl i love italian girls to hang out with to be friends with and shit they're funny i ain't fuck i would never fucking marry one we'll be pals and shit but i ain't fighting with you about anything that matters because it's brutal you never wonder what's on their mind no no my mom has stabbed my stepfather with a fork i'm not dealing with that shit so you know yeah here's one where are you this is this is great by the oh by the way the single

white hard-working educated male 46 to 50 very specific that italian woman there four years medium build even not even not too thin not too big for marriage and fatherhood only it says no pets gee why would i know i didn't fucking read the whole thing before i told you all about that i didn't read it they're fucking ball breakers jesus christ for marriage and fatherhood only no pets don't bring that dirty filthy thing into my house it's gonna get my carpets dirty take your shoes off oh god i can't believe you're single lady i'm moving to phoenix cannot believe she's oh j Oh, Jesus Christ. Unbelievable. Here's one.

Where are you? Retired senior female. She really just doesn't know where you are. I forgot where you went. Where are you? Maybe if I put it out. Did you say you were coming back, sweetheart? I forgot. I don't know what happened.

Where are you? She's searching Dutchess County. In Dutchess County is searching for a gentle, kind, sincere senior gentleman. 68 to 78 five five eight or taller even even in your fucking 70s she's thinking about the height are you kidding me and i barely get in if i don't have a good enough personality i'm shit guys fucking guys are dead by the time they're 75 alive should be are you upright great five eight or taller did you used to be five eight listen sweetheart grandma you're being a little picky here that sounds like the very first uh silver

alert that's what it was where are you here it is uh or taller romantic easygoing who likes golf and dining and is family oriented so he she really wants like it's a very specific very specific and then finally want to be yours. A 46-year-old white female, 5'7", light brown hair, eyes, energetic, slender, attractive, professional, non-smoker, enjoys dining out, dancing, travel, beaches, eats a romantic, attractive, professional, non-smoking. Wow, that's a lot. We get it.

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I think that used to be a different strip club, by the way. They renamed it. Bare Assets. Bare Assets. Jesus. November 1998, Manhattan and New York judge issues an arrest warrant for Mark Gastineau for violating a court order to stay away from a woman he's been accused of hitting. This is because he violated the one with the one he's with now, but he hauled the table

overhead. Yeah. Basically, they're saying he violated the order of protection and that he may have forced her to leave the state with him. And that turns out not to be true. The judge also revoked the bail that a friend had posted for Gastineau and said it was forfeited because he failed to show up at a required court session. So his friend lost five grand on this deal, too. Must have been pissed.

So what does he do? Things are not going well. It's spiraling. So what do you do when things are going bad, Jimmy? You find religion. Or you move home. Or you get married. Gets married.

Let's see. September 1999. Gastineau is every rule. Gets married. Let's see. September 1999. El Gastino is every rule. Silver-haired, middle-aged white men are falling out of the sky. Gets married to Patricia Shore, the table threat. What? She took it. Oh, she's got a baby in there.

Yeah. They break up very quickly, though. This won't last long. Come on, now. Jesus Christ. Yeah. So, June 22nd, 1999, he's arrested again. Turns himself in at a Queens Precinct station house on charges of violating a court order to stop harassing his now estranged wife, Patricia Shore.

So in eight months, she went from his new wife to his estranged wife. Either way, still harassing her against court orders. So not OK. so not okay uh he's accused of going to her apartment in forest hills queens there uh and leaning on the intercom buzzer from 3 30 a.m until 6 30 a.m what for three hours hours he pressed the button held stood there the fucking buzzer he would be amazing at those radio contests where you stand there and just hold your hand on like a dirt bike like a family guy before her american dad one of the great guys yes family guy yeah that's he would be three hours and refused to leave wow she was like go away and he's like nope to our rossi god damn man he's my husband he turned himself in for this and was arrested. She called the cops and he took off.

She had obtained the order of protection after he pleaded guilty to another misdemeanor assault charge against against terror was the glass cocktail table incident. Yeah. So Jesus Christ, the just the judge in this situation, Deborah Stevens Modica of the state Supreme Court, sent him to jail because his Monday arrest violated the terms of a conditional discharge in a separate harassment case involving another woman who he dated before Patricia Short. Sweet Jesus. Yeah. She says, quote, in view of the defendant's past transgressions as well as the case here, we felt it appropriate that he served some jail time you sir may fuck off 15 days in jail 15 days in rikers though yeah that's not easy it ain't good yeah that's not fun at all that's a tough 15 days that's a shit 15 days that is rough unless you're mitch blood green because then you're the king of rikers island and

you love it so the guests know had the same reception probably. Yeah, this is really fucking interesting. The his lawyer says, I don't get it. His lawyer says, quote, he voluntarily surrendered himself because he believes he did nothing to violate the order of protection. We don't believe those charges are going to stand up and the judge should have waited until we litigated those issues. And they said that he was very surprised he was headed for Rikers Island. She said, quote, he didn't expect it because he's cooperated all along.

So, yeah, August 3rd, 1999, he is charged again with assault after the police pick him up at the home of his now current girlfriend in Jamaica, States and Queens. This is another woman here a 29 year old woman she'd been out with gastineau uh that night and they got into what turned into a violent argument uh he has not good at controlling things nowadays think about this he went out never this never happened before there's something there's a problem going on here this isn't like oh he always beats women he's been beating women since before. This is a new thing. It's weird.

Yeah, she said that they got into a violent argument, and she returned to her home, and oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, man. Gastineau ground a lit cigarette into her arm. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's what he did. Oh, boy. Oh, boy boy that's insane and during a dispute they were arguing he grabbed her arm and put a cigarette out oh good lord yeah

so she called police that she wanted to press charges obviously and uh yeah so that's that that's april 30 august 30th 1999 april of 2000 uh he is ordered to spend a year at the hope christian center a bronx treatment facility by a judge if he fails to finish the program the judge said that he is surely going to jail quote unquote uh yeah apparently yeah he's supposed to uh do this this is for all of his shit he's supposed to go to this treatment center and get its anger management counseling basically he's got a it's like a year of doing this it's a big deal uh so what he does is nothing we'll find out doesn't sound like fun uh yeah well we'll find out here uh september 13th 2000 this is a few months later when he should still be in there. He is not. He violated terms of the probation, he says. He's ordered to spend a year in treatment but left after four months.

And his former lawyer or his lawyer here asked the judge to give him another chance to straighten out his life. She says, quote, he's a changed man, Your Honor. Four months, a year. It was just too long. She said that the judge here said quote i have given you beyond a chance beyond a second and a third chance you sir may fuck off 18 months in jail that's different that's a lot 15 days is one thing 18 months is like oh shit that's oh that's a year and a half man that's a lot so yeah he goes in in september of 2000 and uh he's released from

jail in july of 2001 oh he does almost the whole thing he does yeah he does over he does a year 11 months he does in jail here uh so yeah uh next month august 14th 2001 he's stopped for going 60 miles an hour in a 40 mile an hour zone he cooperates with police uh they do a warrant on him a warrant check and he has an outstanding felony warrant for possession of narcotics equipment uh in arizona yeah uh so he's booked by the sedona police and it's where he got arrested in sedona he got pulled over up north up there probably heading over to maybe where he's from uh yeah he's booked by the sedona police transported to the yavapai County Sheriff's Office, and he is awaiting extradition down to Maricopa County again.

If things weren't going bad enough for him, in January of 2002, Michael Strahan breaks his sack record. Oh, no! Things aren't going bad enough. Now, if you remember, it was on a phantom sack. It was Brett Favre fell down. Oh, and then he touched him? Yeah, he was giving it to him, Favre did. He was chasing It was Brett Favre fell down. Oh, and then he touched him? Yeah, he was giving it to him. Favre did.

He was chasing him, but Favre could have thrown the fucking ball away. He was outside the pocket, or he could have run. He just was like, okay, you got me. Now Gastineau's forgotten. Yep. But he's good about it. He says, Mark says, quote, it's only been a few years, but records are made to be broken. He said, that it lasted so long is what surprises me more than anything.

It's so hard to do. You can't make light of it. Getting sacks in the NFL is not something that's handed to you. I just want Mike to know that I give him all the credit in the world. I understand how big an accomplishment this is. Remember those words for later when he doesn't say that again. He says, in a way, I think people in my family who are talking are taking it a lot harder than I. There's something positive in Michael taking the record.

The way Michael is on and off the field, it won't be a bad thing for him to hold the record. It means a lot to my family. But for me, what I've been through, it's a plus for Mike to break it. I hope Mike never gets the record I have off the field. He actually said that. The one you have the rest of your life when you do things that force you to do time in jail yeah there's two records really yeah there is uh that that should be the that's the alternate name of our show there's two records really

crime and sports aka there's two records really uh the one on the field and the one off it that's so horrible that only time helps you appreciate the freedom you have. Jesus. He says, listen, no news is awesome news to me. No publicity is awesome publicity, especially if it's going to be negative. The family things it can create through heartache is damaging. I'm here for Michael.

I wouldn't be here if the person who could break the record wasn't someone of his strength of character. So he's fully supportive of michael strahan loves that he that he broke the record february 2000 or does he love that somebody's talking to him on camera i think he's like hey they're talking to me and they're not going so how hard did you hit her mark all right did you now when you were holding the table over her threatening her was she already bleeding from the nose or yeah was that Ashley Furniture? Was it like a quality thing? It was like a good one.

Did you go to one of these custom shops? Yeah, what is it? February 2005, the Gastineau Girls reality show debuts on TV. That was 2005. 2005. That is Lisa and Brittany. Basically, it's them.

Brittany's young at the time, 20 or so. Brittany is the Martha of of of two of 1985 yeah oh absolutely and it's her them trying to be models and shit and just going around being like so it was that whole pseudo celeb pseudo celebrity your name is familiar to people sort of so that means that we should watch you right go around it was stupid i think that one was e i'm not mistaken i don't remember it wasn't it wasn't network tv no no no it was all those reality shows yeah it was like e on that

type of thing or bravo maybe one of those so yeah it was like that shit and it was them going around pretending acting like idiots and acting like people gave a shit about them i remember going why is that name and then they were like i heard it was mark gaston i was like oh okay well why do i care about them i was like is he on the show then they were like, I heard it was Mark Gaston. I was like, oh, okay. Well, why do I care about them? Why do I give a shit? I was like, is he on the show? No. I was like, well, what the fuck am I watching this for? Two people I'd never heard of.

Right. Walking around and trying to get modeling careers. Who cares? Two people that surrounded, like, orbited his life? Yeah. And we're going to pay attention to that? It's so strange. We're going to watch that?

Oh, we'll watch the Kardashians, and they'll be famous as fuck that's yeah for orbiting somebody else it's the same thing the kardashians were the same watch this just picked up or this didn't pick up and that did yeah they've had a bag of shows basically of like that of all these different people if you look there's a million of them kind of semi-celebrity families like that and the kardashians were just the one that that worked right and all the other ones were on for two years simple life yeah exactly that was actually networked fucking tv sophia richie yeah sophia richie sophia not sophia no fucks or nicole nicole there you go jesus sophia this is like a rich girl name so you pulled that one out of my ass

now so they're on tv yeah september of 2005 there's an arrest warrant issued for mark while they're on to you great perfect uh they're like yay how much did they celebrate when he got arrested you know they did yay our names and the more people will watch us do it again mark this is for allegedly violating a court order to stay away from a woman he was accused of hitting god jesus come on mark jesus christ uh man ordered gas nose arrest. A judge did after a prosecutor said he violated the order by visiting Patricia Shore, his ex-wife, and that he, you know, all that shit. So, he ends up being held for a little while.

December 20th, 2007, marries another woman. This is number five, six? Three. Three? Third official marriage. Okay. He married Lisa. He married Patricia. He married Brigitte, didn't he? He did not marry? Three. Third official marriage. Okay. He married Lisa. He married Patricia.

He married Brigitte, didn't he? He did not marry Brigitte. Just quit his football career. Got it. Because of a minor procedure she had to have. Yeah. Nothing's a minor procedure, but it wasn't uterine cancer is what I'm getting at. So he marries a woman named Joanne Voorhees now.

Jason's mom. Wow. So also at this point, point 2008 starts making religious speeches oh no now he's all jesus all the time wow oh boy oh yeah shows up at the uh the witness festival a free christian music show in quarryville what i don't even know what state i think it's oklahoma probably uh yeah in 2008 here um he says he's living a quieter life now. He's remarried. He's doing quality control work for an architectural firm that's building the new Meadowland Stadium there.

So he was working on that. He said that he's trying to keep out of the spotlight and recommitting to his Christian faith and his faith in the church and everything like that. Which church? Christian. Just anything. Non-denominational. He said, quote, I used to sack quarterbacks. Now I'm sacking faith.

Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. He said about God, he said, quote, he took me piece by piece by piece, little by little, and humbled me in a way that was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I just want to thank him for that. I was in my Rolls Royce riding down Meadowbrook Parkway. I had to have a Rolls Royce because when you

make $65,000 a week, everybody has to have a Rolls Royce, right? I was making big money, but I found myself totally empty. I was lonely for much of my time in the NFL. He was making $65,000 a week. They only get paid during the season. That's awesome.

Yeah, that's great. That sounds amazing. That sounds fucking amazing. Wow. I'd just be jumping down the, yay. And he was only making $850,000 a year. There are dudes making huge, can you imagine getting a million dollar paycheck and then next week you'll get another.

Defense events at SAC Quarterbacks now, literally you get 60 million guaranteed on one of your deals. J.J. Watt, that one deal, it was over $100 million. That's so fun. Huge money, over 50 million guaranteed. It is such a fun day. It's crazy. He would be so paid if he was just 10 years later. Yeah.

10 years, so paid. October 8th, 2012, he's inducted into the jets ring of honor really yeah the jets ring of honor that's not retiring his number but it's the ring of honor name up there in him and wesley walker were inducted in 2012 in the the ring of honor which they didn't start till 2010 fucking jets they got four guys in jesus christ and they have a bunch they retroactively did a bunch of them oh okay in okay. In 2010, they put up like 40. Okay, we should do something. We should give a shit about the history of this team.

They got Joe Namath and Don Maynard from the beginning, those guys. Curtis Martin, great running back. Winston Hill, who was an offensive lineman in the 60s. Coach Weeb Eubank, Joe Klecko, part of the sack exchange there. Larry Grantham, who's a 60s original Jet.

I think 1960 he came in. Defensive lineman Jerry Philbin. Altoon. Altoon was great. Wide receiver for the Jets. Freeman McNeil, another 80s Jet there. Marty Lyons, defensive tackle. Wayne Corbett is on there.

Emerson Boozer, the great 60s Jets running back. The owner, Leon Hess, who's a dickhead. Matt Snell, the running back from the 60s, and Kevin Mawai, the center there. Those are the guys. And retired numbers are Namath Maynard, Curtis Martin, Joe Klecko, Weebutt Bank, it's not a number, it's just his thing, and Dennis Bird.

Really? We talked about it a couple weeks ago. Dennis Bird, who broke his neck as his number retired. That is a fucking, wow, what a story. Oh, we talked about that at a live small-time murder. Yeah, that's right. It's on there. So, yeah, during that, he's so Christian, he's apparently drunk at his inauguration.

It's all in the paper that he seemed inebriated as fuck here. Really? They called it a quote, well, you know, his acceptance speech. He gave a quote, this is from New York Daily News, he gave an interesting this is from new york daily news he gave an interesting meandering and sometimes oddly enunciated speech at the halftime uh yeah it says quote gasino sounds like someone who might have been doing a little bit of celebrating uh yeah he says that he's found

religion he's very happy he says that he lives in new jersey with his wife joanne never shies away from the opportunity to inform others about the strong relationship he's developed with jesus christ he said we're really just content in our lives and we just worship the lord yeah that's that's an activity uh now i'm in the choir at the time square church and believe me you know there's a lord if i'm in the choir because i don't have that great of a voice that's for sure my wife and i are both in the choir as far as making joyful noise unto the Lord, that's exactly what we feel, and that's exactly what we do. Oh, boy.

He's turned into a fucking John Lithgow in Flashdance. What's going on? God, he reigns. Oh, he goes on like the 700 Club, too. Oh, yeah, he does. He loves the Newsboys. Oh, yeah. 2000.

What is it? I think it's the Newsboys. Newsies is not Christian. I think it's the Newsboys. Oh, yeah. 2000. What is it? I think it's the Newsboys. Newsies is not Christian. I think it's the Newsboys. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, Newsies is a play. That's what that is. That's a Broadway play about.

I think it's the Newsboys. Turn of the century Newsboys in New York City. It's the Newsboys because they're bringing you the good news. I've got good news. I've got great news. Right. That's them. That's the one. That was Pat Boone singing that out, great good news that's the one that was pat boone singing that out actually but uh that's the band i'll never forget that i saw that for three minutes in 1991 and i never forgot that song ever i've got good news i've got great good news i'll never forget the

song as long as i live never never? Never. Our God is an awesome God is 30 times of them singing that stanza. That's it, yeah. That's it. There are no other words. It is, our God is an awesome God. He reigns from heaven above

with wisdom, power, and love. How do you know this? Our God is an awesome God because I've heard it a million times in one fucking song. Because you heard it once, the same reason I know know it is the same thing over and over it's how do you know this i don't know let me sing fucking i've got good news

it's fun to sing knows your every sin but he loves you just the same i've got good i remember the fucking song it's terrible so anyway he loves you in that sticky sock. Oh, he loves you just the same. 2017, he announces that he has dementia, Alzheimer's, and Parkinson's disease. We know. He describes how the old way of doing football was everybody smacked each other in the fucking helmet. That was the number one move both offensive and defensive linemen use is a head slap. And celebration. And every time when they were on a run play they just butt heads at first every time every fucking single time uh so he announces he has that he files to get

compensation from the nfl uh for this march 2018 comes around still no compensation it's been over a year and uh yeah he's let you yet to get anything he says mark says quote i want the nfl to treat people right they have to the commissioner has to hey roger goodell treat people right now there's an interesting thing here because roger goodell uh used to be a jets public relations intern in the 80s when mark played for the team right so mark called him his ball boy. He was like, he was our ball boy. Like, I know this fucking guy.

And he said, quote, I want to hold you to your promise, Roger Goodell. When I was big, I treated him good. He's big now. You know what? Treat us good. You can't scream treat people good when you pick up tables on pregnant women. But if he made, here's the deal, if he made billions and billions of dollars for picking tables up over pregnant women, that pregnant woman should probably file some sort of something

against him. I don't disagree with that. Yeah. But he's choosing his words very incorrectly. Yeah. Yeah. But it's also true. Yeah.

I mean, sorry. I mean, yeah, at the time, maybe they didn't know as much as they know now. But you know what? You got to take care of people still. It doesn't matter. These people built up your league and propped up your league in the 80s. And there's so much proof and evidence. Oh, it's ridiculous.

Yeah. You can't refute it. It's just, it's there. Yeah. The man didn't have neurological issues. Now he has neurological issues. Yeah, he had a whole bunch. What do you think?

So, yeah, he says that he's been joined by his lawyer here who said the medical case was presented to the league and rejected to the league for reasons that he said were unclear. Joanne said the NFL doctors were questioning his dementia diagnosis. But after eight months of going through paperwork and records, they finally approved it. But then 30 days later, they receive a notice from nfl appealing the settlement again for his parkinson's diagnosis so they're just trying to delay and delay and gasno says quote my wife she and i used to go around and do yard work but you know what she does everything for me now it's not good it's not good when i'm lying in bed till three four five in the afternoon it's not good there'll be days i'll get up and i'm good i'll tell you uh and my wife will tell you,

she helps me get out of bed. She helps me remember names. Yeah, well, think about it. Then he boxed for 17 fights, too. So, I mean, he's been hitting the head a fuckload. He said he used to hit, you know, he used to hit his, he said he used to hit and get hit so hard

that he actually has broken helmets before hitting people. And now he says, you know, that's obviously a problem with his head. He says, I used to think I was all that. I did. But you know what? I was nothing. You know why?

Because of what happened to me. The NFL is wrong. The NFL is wrong. They're wrong. I'm not telling them to give me a zillion, zillions of dollars. I don't want zillions of dollars. I just want to be treated with respect. Pay his medical bills.

Fucking help him out. It's ridiculous. Jesus Christ, Roger Goodell. Get your fucking head out of your ass, NFL. The NFL is disgusting. Fucking scumbags. It really is. Fucking so great to watch.

The players are awesome. The coaches are great. The way they put the game's plans together. Very difficult. Amazing shit. And the owners are just fucking assholes. And the league is an asshole structure. Well, they legitimize. I hate that shit. shit and the owners are just fucking assholes and the league is an asshole structure well they they

legitimize uh hate that shit they take away the hypocrisy of a man like this yeah by treating him like garbage and you make him yeah you made him a victim a hero yeah that's what i'm saying so during this one once he finds out about this uh tmz catches up with his ex-wife lisa yeah his original wife outside a west west hollywood club at that point and uh uh yeah what year is this this is uh 2018 she's clubbing yeah she's clubbing still yeah she's yeah oh yeah lord um she said quote maybe it's karma k-a-r-m-a and she walked away what she don't like him i would say wow that's cold not even oh well no one i don't wish that on anyone she's like well fuck him glad he doesn't know where his bathroom is enjoy she made sure that we didn't mistake whatever she

said with carmex yes i just want you guys to know what i mean this is carmex 2018 he is diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer Oh no That is rough May 2019 he's had to set up a GoFundMe page Because of his colon cancer He says I am presently being treated at Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia I had surgery to remove the tumor and treatment to kill the cancer It's been a difficult fight but I know I will have a victory With the Lord fighting this battle with me.

Thank you all for your love and support. And actually, by October 2019, he is declared cancer-free. What? He actually beat it. Wow. For now. I mean, he got to ring that bell

and all that shit. I saw the video. Oh, yeah. Like he bought a new car. Yeah, like he just made a sale. But that's good, though. Good for him. Anybody who beats cancer,

I don't care who it is, good for you. Fuck cancer. It sucks, so I'm glad. It's a terrible thing But that's good, though. Good for him. Anybody who beats cancer, I don't care who it is, good for you. Fuck cancer. It sucks. That's a terrible thing. I'm glad when anybody beats it. November 2019, very recently, he comes out and he's writing a book with his pastor at the moment, and he comes out now and says that he was repeatedly raped as a child.

Oh, no. Yeah. says that he was repeatedly raped as a child. Oh, no. Yeah, he said during his childhood a man from Mexico who was one of his father's ranch hands on the ranch.

80-acre ranch in the White Mountains there and it was his father's right-hand man apparently. I can see that. He says, quote, I was raped but I held it in for so long. Maybe cancer has made me confronted. Can you imagine somebody like myself, a football player, a big bad guy getting raped at that age? He scared me to death. He said when he was a kid, he was very passive and afraid of his own shadow.

He said you would never believe I was going to grow up and be a pro football player. Yeah. He says I didn't even think about it until i married joanne and i could trust someone to tell he says but i held it in for so long so now he's gonna he's putting that in his book yeah and everything and um yeah that's a i mean jesus christ his life is oh man from start to finish uh february 10th 2020 he comes out and says he wants his record back yeah he says quote wait what he wants it back now he's gonna go on the field his record back. He says, quote, he wants it back. Now he's going to go on the field and get it, but it's not legit and he wants it back. He's screaming.

No, he's not supporting it. He's like, I don't remember saying those good things about Michael Strahan. He said, quote, it's my record and I want it to be known that it's my record. I'm not going to say I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. It's my record. This is on my head all the time. It goes through my head all the time rather than you know what i need to do and where i am and my phone number i want to clear things up okay he said that he's decided to uh you know come forward with all this and he wants uh he says that that was a bullshit sack that brett farve gave

strahan the sack that's bullshit they shouldn't fucking do that they shouldn't give it to him shut around throw it out of bounds you pussy farve you fucked it up that's right and that would have Gave Strahan the sack. That's bullshit. They shouldn't fucking do that. They shouldn't give it to him. Shut it around. Throw it out of bounds. You pussy, Favre. You fucked it up. That's right. And that would have given, because that brought Strahan to 22 and a half sacks. So he would have had 21 and a half, leaving Gaston on the record.

Well, the difference is you can't trust Brett Favre to throw it away. The man led, I think he has the most interceptions in history. He also has thrown almost the most passes in history, too. So, I mean, it's also Reggie Jackson has the most strikeouts. Okay. You know what I mean? Because you have to take a lot of hacks to strike out the most. You can't leave that guy up to just throw him the ball.

Oh, he'll throw it away. Yeah, he'll throw it all over the place. Right into somebody else's fucking arms. So, he just fell down. So, that was that. He's still trying to get that done. Right now, his colon cancer's in remission and he has no idea where he is most of the time uh so there's that but he hasn't been

in jail in a while so that's good and uh can't get enough of mark gastineau no well then uh you can get a on ebay a couple things there's a bunch of shit but a couple cool things i found cool signed picture like a headshot of him. It looks pretty cool. $19.99 plus $4 shipping and handling. Is that with the woman in it? Not bad. No, it's just him. Okay.

And then finally, this is cool as shit. A Mark Gastineau-era Jets helmet on eBay they have. Oh, cool. The green helmet with the lineman face mask. The Gastineau face mask with the crossbar and the two things. Very fucking cool. It's the Mark Gastineau design is what they say. It doesn't say his name on it or anything, but they sell that replica. $259.99 plus $18 shipping and handling.

So less than $300. It's kind of steep. If you're like a huge Jets fan, though, and you have like a man cave. No, it's a replica to show, but it's a real size. I got a Giants one. It was cheaper than that, but I got a Giants one from the 80s. It's cool as fuck. It's badass.

It's badass. If you had a room that you like to put that kind of shit in and you're an 80s Jets fan, you want to buy that. I'd fucking put that in here. It's awesome. Fuck, or at least a picture. We got to buy one of them for the studio. Just print off a picture and we'll frame it.

No, we'll frame it. There. That's true of the autograph. We don't need to buy it. No one needs to spend any money on this let's not go crazy guys we can't fabricate a helmet though so you're gonna have to buy a helmet if you want a helmet we can't make one for you so uh that being said that is mark gastineau wow that is a crazy story ranging 20 years of just packed in shit or 40 years i'm sorry 80 to 2020 it's a roller coaster

of emotion, too, because you hate him, then you like him, then you hate him. You feel bad for him. Then you just fucking, it's sad. It's sad after a while. Yeah.

It's got it all, everybody. It does. Crime and sports from... There are two records. There are two records. He nailed that. That should be the name of the show. Anyone who's...

Any other people who feel like they want to rip off crime and sports, that should be the name of it that you use use that one don't use you know just different words of sports and crime and shit like that just use there should be two records two records that's it so uh yes if you like that show thank you for listening by the way appreciate you guys listening i saw so many less people listen to last week's episode the bodybuilder episode really one of the best stories guess what jokes on you fucking guys if you see a person and you don't know who they are yeah there's a reason we're doing the story okay trust us yeah if you see dennis rodman it doesn't matter if he got pulled over twice we're doing the story because

he's fucking famous if you see a guy i never heard of that he's a weightlifter someone's probably dead it's probably a crazy story he's earned his right to be here after fucking 199 episodes i hoped you guys would trust us but apparently some of you don't so whatever fine see you on the fucking football episodes enjoy i don't know what to tell you see you on the daryl strawberry episode have fun but uh the rest of you guys, you guys are so awesome. Thanks for everything you do for us. Thanks for listening every single week. Next week's a big episode for us. Episode 200. It's a big deal. And it really is.

It's a big deal. We're really proud of it to get to 200 episodes. And we have a crazy story like we said that's interconnected with this one. If you like the show, though, please get on iTunes, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, wherever you can and give us five stars and say whatever you want. Say you're following instructions, following directions.

Also, tell your friends. Tell your friends. Tell your family. Tell anybody who might like anything like this. If they like funny stuff, tell them about crime and sports. It really helps us. You have no idea. Our whole audience this week went, I'm going to go tell if everybody told 10, not to chain mail it, but if every one of you told 10 people, there'd be so many people listening.

Because you guys, that's what people like. They like to hear from their friend, this is good. That's what they check out. Word of mouth. So to everyone who does that all the time for us, you guys are the best. Thank you. And for anybody who doesn't, hey, it's a free fucking show. Do it.

Help us out here. Also, head over to shutupandgivememurder.com where you can get all of your crime and sports gear, new stuff a free fucking show. Do it. Help us out here. Also, head over to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com where you can get all of your crime and sports gear, new stuff up all the time. Also, all of your small town murder gear, your tickets to live shows. Holy shit, we have so many live shows. San Francisco is going on this weekend.

Two shows. I think Friday is sold out now, the late show. Yeah. On Friday, but the late show Saturday, still some tickets left for that one. Very few. Very them now uh detroit that's almost done march 27th at the royal oak music theater almost sold out get your small town murder tickets there next night the 28th in cincinnati get your tickets there as well and uh nashville sold out austin has like 20 tickets left uh oklahoma city almost sold out boston a couple singles in the back of the balcony there.

And Brooklyn at the Murmur there, that is also getting real close to sold out. So get your tickets now, everybody. So we have a chance of selling out the whole first half of the tour without missing one, and then it gets better from there. So thank you guys for all that stuff and for doing that for us. It honestly means the world to us that you're going to plunk your money down on a table and come see us and we will not let you down we will give you a show that's going to be goddamn funny yeah no bullshit it's going to be a good show we take pride in that shit we don't want to we have to meet you guys afterwards so we don't

want anybody looking at us disappointed i don't want to stare in the face of somebody going you motherfuckers you have no idea that's my motivation i if i have to look at you afterwards i can't give you shit because i know you're gonna die it's gonna be an unsaid thing that i didn't do as good as i could have and jimmy was weak and how dare you guys no so you flew all this way for that yeah so check that out get your tickets and uh and do all of that stuff right now uh also if you want to be one of our actually follow us on social media first, follow us on social media. You can do that very easily over. It's at Murder Small on Twitter at Small Town Pod on Facebook at Small Town Murder on Instagram.

Also, if you want to get a hold of us, we have a voicemail number. Yes, I forgot to give for like the last three months, but we do listen to these voicemails and sometimes we'll read them on bonus episodes and talk about them. Voicemail box is 602-759-0606. And that's for Small Town Murder and for Crime and Sports. Anything you want to do, questions, comments, facts, suggestions, story from I ran into this guy. And this is whatever it is. We're happy to listen to you guys. So thanks for doing all of that.

And if you want to be a huge hero, one of our producers, who we're going to gush about here in a second, you can do that so, so easily. Just go to patreon.com slash crimeinsports, or head over to PayPal and use our email address, crimeinsports at gmail.com, and you can make a one-time donation there. And honestly, every dime is appreciated. And please spread the word as much as you can make a one-time donation there and honestly every dime

is appreciated and please spread the word as much as you can guys really get it out here um it's episode 200 so let's it's time to start pushing it let's for us let's push it why not so thank you guys for doing that but i can't wait any longer never mind all this shit jimmy we heard a crazy story lots of stuff i need good vibes right now. No colon cancer and dementia. Give me the list of the names of the people who don't wish colon cancer or dementia on us. Hit me with them. This week's executive producers are Tonya Volanek, Amy Spicer, Jordan Bennett, Maria Montague, Amanda Dixon, Ari Karasun, Brooke and Paige uh and and in sacramento nicola mas uh master antonio master antonio probably and uh carrie monazera's no monazani monazanaries manzanaries

that's what it is thank you guys so much for everything you do we can't do it without you other producers this week are uh Adams, Wayne Peterson, Jessica Ivy, Eve Welling, or Ive? It's probably Eve. Heather Norton, Stephen Russell, Thomas Smith, Jude Kendall, Abby, with no last name, Gary Howard, Lanny Blunk, Ariel Thomas,

Liz Vasquez, Chris Davis, Alfred, with no last name, Christopher Longhurst, Ryan Benner, Megan Conkra, what is that? I don't know what I wrote. Don't ask me. Bailey Payton, Bobby Stride, James Martyr, Michelle Martin, Jenny Scheib,

oh, that's Earl's daughter. Of course, yeah, obviously. From the painting empire. Lauren Boyette, Peyton Meadows, Ashley Veo, Will would know last name. Jorge Lopez. Probably not George Lopez, right?

Maybe not. Yeah, probably. He should have given a bigger donation. It is George Lopez. Probably should have. He's been on a TV show for 30 fucking years. Pony up, George. Melissa Turner.

Tony Keywell. Dove Harper. Oh, he said yes. So congratulations to you. Hey, congrats, guys. In case you cared to follow up on that. Brenda Patrick. Kathy Louise Zeller. Amanda Knight.gan cranty crane crane like bob's son yeah uh carrie carrie street tyler

williford yes laura with no last name elise elissa elissa keen uh rachel stora carolyn abby and addy that's what that is andrew peter patterson damn it i was doing so well austin okay uh austin ostasia on you india dight no matt kerr tara dawes uh tk laurie i think people are now we're doing uh uh yeah j.e. wisman and yeah yeah what's your middle name is it alan what is it philip philip yeah jv yeah that was funny so people are donating his tk laurie uh the very very rich man or woman uh danielle uh anna stein uh brett killian janice hill heather heather fucking jones that's what that is aaron lawton and i think that's, yeah. Rachel Bruce.

Michael Critch. Probably got made fun of for being too close to crotch. Demarcus Carter. Dylan Kaiser. Stephanie Beard. Yeah. Keisha. Keisha.

Keisha Stevens. Alexis Rodas. Rodas. Oh, there you go. That's tough. That's no fun i'd like to give a shout out quick to uh from the the lady named sarah from season seven of 90 day fiance she's one of the the people who is importing a woman yeah it's his ex-wife yeah and they're the in the history of the show the least trashiest

people and she listens to the show great and like tweets at us she's really nice thank you thank you for being finally people where we go oh fucking normal people okay good they're not trashy they're not like she need to do this with my kids and how dare she none of that shit just nice lady nice people good job robin anderson uh jen pratt jesse trotter uh heidi broughton like yeah bro nah that's tough i'll tell you the the when people misspeak and say i've been it's been broughton you know that's what her last name is spelled like too louise louise moreno andrea roberts uh laura culpepper uh cassandra cassandra clark jesse sukup kirtland kirtland jesus kirtland cunninghamham, I think that's what I wrote. What is that?

Dreddy? Oh, Dreddy Kruger. See the pun there? Jill Butler, Maren Aheron, Jennifer Baird, Sarah Surridge, Kyle Hughes, Cherie Lynn, Katie Hill, Hayden Sweet, Avalon Haley, Dylan Leahy, Kathleen Jones, Mindy Shempert, and Homestretch. Here we go. Ready? And I've got these in the bag because I know these all. Amber Scar, Amanda, fuck, Backert Wilk, Jamie Keck, Katie St stokes sleeper sharks leah russell rudy flores matt

faust chris grebel yeah uh augustus lerman yeah erica little christy crider rachel damn it right ryan ryan yeah like right treddy krueger by the way is a rapper who was one of the like in the w Wu-Tang orbit. Really? Yeah. It's not really a person. Gravedigger. No, it's not that guy, but that's the name of an actual rapper.

Got it. He just took that guy's name. How come I don't know that? I don't know. I've heard of it. That's one of the Killabees. Yeah. I think he was.

Was he in Gravediggers, maybe? Possibly. He's got to be one of the Killabees. It's actually in Killabees. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah. Alexis Stephanakis.

Jonathan Huling. Jenny Blacker. Yes. gotcha okay yeah yeah alexis stephan stephanakis stephanak jonathan hewling uh jenny blacker yes oh boy that hurts uh cheddar cat uh go go gavin johnson i almost called him go on jennifer britsman mildog 311 uh laurel laurel peace brooke kale matthew moon andrew pell Laurel Peace, Brooke Kale, Matthew Moon, Andrew Pell, Sally Martin, Luke Torpey, Elliot Gibbons, Alexandria Brackenovich, Dolores would know last name, Emma Mitchell, Matthew Clark Aaron would know last name, Jack Kautz-Dicker, Sally Martin, Candice would no last name, Oldest Charm, Christina Davis, Rhonda Sheridan, Gott D. Lugia, Danielle Dole, Reba Warburg, Laura Kramer, Stephen Clark, Brian Cox, Rachel Strauss, Ed Whitmarsh, Donnie Yarborough. Yeah. Mike McCombs Jr. Yeah, that's who that is. Kathy Williams, Alex Capel, Nicholas Welch, Zach Anderson, Michelle Pollard, Renee Dillard.

No, it's Dillard. Any other 90s rappers in there? Antonio Ortiz. Was he one? No. I don't think so. Mad Lion, give us money, too. I don't see him.

Not in here. Andrew Pell, Justin Kropp, Megan Good, Christine Krohm. What did I write? Brougham. That's a B. Jeremy Brown, Lisa Reuter, J.M. Jennings. There you go. There's another one of those.

Fuck Face Hooligan, Macy Sykes. Did I call someone that, I think, one time? Probably. Macy Sykes Did I call someone that I think one time? Probably Derek Kish John Cranawetter Amanda Parks

Sarah Dusick Casey Barton Casey Tinsley Mandy Ronig Jeff No, Frank What? Frank Schmitz

Joshua Segal Kathleen Wacker and Thomas Gallagher. God damn it, you guys. Thank you. Thank you, everybody, so much. Oh, yeah.

From the bottom of our cold, dead hearts, we do appreciate everything you do for us. And each and every week, everything you've done for us for, God, four years now. Yeah. It's been four years. It's crazy. It's interesting. It's a long-term relationship at this point. It's really the most flattering thing that's ever's ever been wild man thank you guys you keep

uh you keep coming back it's interesting it's the same group of people here keep coming back i love it so thank you guys moving thank you guys for doing that man honestly thank you for everything you do for us what if they wanted to thank you for something jimmy how could they get a hold of you thank me at wisman sucks whisman sucks on uh twitter and and instagram yeah good god it's so hard not to say that fuck snapchat it's impossible it's a nightmare where can they thank you for uh not being a nightmare poof you can find me at jimmy p is funny uh you can do that or just copy and paste my name from the show description if you want to make it easy on yourself and find me that way but either way we're out there keep finding us keep coming back week after week people have asked us is this crime and sports

almost over no we have at least two more years there is going to be at least 100 more episodes literally at least 100 more episodes and more than likely there'll probably be another 50 to 100 after that right we're not fucking around no i'm finding guys never mind it's all good shit so keep coming back keep on joining us keep hanging out with us over and over live from the crime and sports studios we will see you next week Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. Taylor Swift is soaring high, her every move captured in the news cycle

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