Crime in Sports - #212 - The Jailed Junkie Jerk - The Imperiousness of Bernard Boileau

Episode Date: June 9, 2020

This week, we jump over the net to look at a Belgian tennis player who has maybe the craziest origin story we've ever told. He went from these humble beginnings to becoming an arrogant, snobby, jerk, who treated everyone, including his parents, like they were beneath him. This attitude developed into a nasty little heroin habit that destroyed his life & career, while landing him in jail, multiple times. Does he ever stop his stupidity? Find out! Have the world all figured out by age 17, load up on as much heroin as possible, and make your significant other walk 3 meters behind you with Bernard Boileau!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder#  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. Each week on the Mr. Ballin Podcast, now available wherever you get your podcasts, you'll hear strange, dark, and mysterious stories about inexplicable encounters, shocking disappearances, true crime cases, and everything in between. So go listen to Mr. Ballin Podcast, Strange, Dark, and Mysterious Stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports. Yay! Yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed.

My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. Hi, I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you folks so much for joining us again today. We have quite the odd tale for you this week. First of all, I hope you enjoyed Corey Dillon last week and his stretch. That was just, he's a prodigy. That's all I have to say. I mean, he was committing

crimes when he's in like eighth grade he's committing crimes at at least an 11th grade level so that's what was so impressive about it he was you know chasing people around with sticks that's a at least three grades ahead four grades ahead to pull the police over before they pull him that's impressive that's impressive stuff so uh good for cory dylan but this week we have something different as we like to do, throw a curveball. It's a Belgian tennis player. Yeah. And holy shit, it's a weird thing.

And we're going to have a ball with it. So I hope you enjoy. He's an arrogant, drug-addicted asshole. Sure he's not American. That's the thing. No, he's got a specific type of European arrogance that's just, it's just wonderful. We rarely encounter it in crime and sports.'s the thing we rarely do today we're gonna get it i'm very excited for it right uh quickly before we get into it little house cleaning just uh well first of all

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if you haven't heard an episode we did it once before and it was absolutely insane. So check that out if you haven't heard it yet. It's a good time. That said, though, let's get into it. Let's do it. Let's have a ball here because we have a weird one in front of us here. We got to dive right in. I don't think we've ever done a Belgian before, have we?

I don't think so. I don't remember any've ever done a belgian before have we i don't think i don't think so i don't remember any sure didn't stick we had a finn and i can in the ski jumper right but no i don't think we've had a belgian tons of russians tons of all sorts of russians they're all they're always into some shit they are they're always fighting and scrapping and doing something weird but belgium is a quiet little country it is which we really have not touched on so let's get into this with bernard but i think it's below below below b-o-s that's boil b-o-i-l boil e-a-u really yeah so in french so you got the belgians speak french yeah because it's it's next to france it's wedged between france and germany okay is belgium so basically it's like think about it it's like a buffer it's like it's at a family gathering if your two aunts don't get along so you sit one of your cousins in between them to like fucking try to make conversation and keep belgium

is that cousin who's just like i don't know and no she didn't mean it like right you were yeah she was uh but she she's she's not that fat that's, you said cunt at the Thanksgiving table? That's a little, is that a little, she went far. Oh, stop, hold on, put the knives down. Like, that's Belgium. It's your poor cousin who's trying to keep the peace. Bad stuff. Between a warmonger and a serial giver-upper.

It's interesting. Bernard. I actually have a lot of relatives in Belgium. A lot of Italians moved to Belgium after the war. I don't know why. I think because they were accepting, maybe. Maybe they were open. Listen, man.

But Italy was fucked up after the war, as was Belgium. But I know Italy, they were poor to begin with. And then the war happened and decimated everything. And so a lot of people moved. My family came here. of them went to belgium a lot of them some of them stayed there we were just like you know i'm in the mood for waffle this is bad let's go this is bad well there's some waffles in the story as well as a matter of fact which of course let's get waffles and talk about it let's do it so bernard our our fellow of the week here, he's born May 25th, 1959. So, yeah, that's where he is.

He's from, and I looked up the pronunciation of the city, and it's pronounced 45 different ways. There's the German way, and there's the French way, and there's the Dutch way, because Netherlands is right there, too. Netherlands is another country it shares a border with there too because it's it's netherlands is another country it shares a border with so you're it's it's a fucking mess so it's l-i-e-g-e liege liege but they say liege in french and then it's and then it's i'm sure it's something with like in german i don't know something very making it sound not appealing somehow i've watched uh who killed gregory on netflix okay and it's about this little boy that went missing they found his body in the river and it's a it's a fucking disaster yeah this is what it is but it is spoken in whatever

french shit that they speak and then it's dubbed over whatever french shit hold on it's way worse because it's dubbed over in english and then it has subtitles that are different in english that are different from the fucking words that are speaking so you don't know which is the right translation i know what's fucking happening okay you gotta translate it correctly that's i'm sorry someone has to translate it correctly and then the subtitles gotta match that shit because I'm looking at the words coming out of mouths that don't match up to shit. Okay. I am going to say this. Okay.

The subtitles are probably more to be believed. Okay. Just based on how they make films. They made their film and then they would dub it over in English for whatever audience. And then when you distribute a film you have to you have to uh have the whole thing written out to subtitle got it so you have to subtitle it so that's yeah it has to be subtitled in every language for each region you want to sell it and all that shit so afterwards they would have gone over it and it would have been translated

better than somebody probably translating on the fly right or a dub over type of thing because that's just a person doing it a translator i got through three episodes read it it's so much shit to go still and i quit you can read the show yes you can read you just learned two things about me james a i watch shows with the subtitles on yeah i'm a fucking serial killer and then you know what though it's actually good because we've had we've had issues with the reading and I actually think that that's a good way to learn how to read, I believe. It's good because it's like when you're a kid. You have books that are on tape. This is better.

You're hearing it. The guy's speaking it through his mouth. You're seeing it move, and then you're reading it, too. It's great. And then on top of learning that I watch with subtitles, I also, when get frustrated, take it out on a whole people and fuck French right now. They had their speaking french shit i'm furious at france at the moment you should be well you're gonna be furious at

belgium soon bastards that's awesome so he's born in belgium in this town in belgium and i looked up this town and it's like they have like uh they have one of the oldest Christmas markets in all of Europe, which is like, remember when we go to Chicago, we always end up in Chicago in December on tour because, I don't know, we're assholes. Let's go when it's freezing. I love Chicago. I want to go when it's horrible there.

We've never gone when it's nice out. It's always freezing when we go there. We always need to buy an extra coat to go there. But I don't know why. And then I'm pissy and so are you. Because A, I buy on Amazon and my shit looks dumb. And then you buy yours because you don't fit it. Yeah, it's a mess.

You're upset because it just never fits right. Never fits right. So we're always in Chicago freezing our asses off. But they have those. Remember right across from my hotel which was by wrigley last time they had that the market the christ kindle market yes it's like that they have one of those there that's what that's modeled after are these old christmas markets from europe because that's a german thing right next door to belgium it's all the same shit

so yeah they have one of the oldest ones of those much older than the one outside wrigley field i assume we're only two. Just assuming. I don't know. I'm not positive. I mean, we could have, who knows what the Native Americans were doing back in the day, but I doubt they were having Christmas markets. Have they ferried to Germany?

In that area. I don't know where they would have got it from. But yeah, this town, they have like a weird puppet festival. No, no. Where they put these, dude, these fucking puppets are creepy. Oh, boy. You know those weird old European puppets where everybody's like long-faced and pointy and No, no. creepier because they even soften those up for an american child audience this isn't for that this is like 1700s like put this outside so the wolves don't come you know they'll scare the wolves away when your wife is menstruating you put a doll outside to scare the wolves from the

scent of the blood that's what these guys they have to be holy shit i don't know what the fuck man so that's what's scarier to a child? That fucking doll or a wolf eating their mother from between the thighs? That's what I mean. Just attacking. Starting there. Attacking their mother's crotch. I'm not sure.

Which would be more horrific to a child. Yeah. I think you'd probably call for daddy. There's a wolf gnawing on mommy's crotch. That might be worse, I guess. It's getting mommy's tenderloin. Oh, no. Maybe that's worse.

Creepy town right away. The guy never had a chance. He's walking around this town with fucking dolls hanging around all over. But it's very, very, the story of his parents is fucking weird, too. His father was a belgian army captain in the 50s yeah okay so mid-1950s his father and some i don't know army buddies i guess they go like you know they go over apparently the uh the dutch amsterdam the red light district that they have going on was just beginning to blossom oh the mid 50s so obviously heard about it the military yeah and this is like within you can

drive over there you know what i mean it's connected so you know you got like an hour and a half drive you can go to brothels in the 50s sounds great i don't even have fucking playboy in the 50s never mind porn or any other way to whack it i mean this is like holy shit these guys have been pent up forever they're looking at the sears catalog going oh look at those pantyhose on that fucking middle-aged woman there that's that's what i'm talking about they got nothing else whatever the german equivalent is that's what i mean i don't know what the leader hosing on their fucking look at the leader hosing on fucking big helga there all right that's what'm talking about. And then they have to remember that

to whack it to later on. Store that in a spank bank. Oh, those... Ah, Helga's Lederhausen on a warm day. I love where she put that stein. Oh, the stein. How'd she get that in there?

Then the wolves came. Right. And got it out. And it all turned around and wasn't the same. It wasn't essential after the wolves arrived right and got it out it all turned around and wasn't to say it wasn't wasn't essential after the wolves arrived so his father an army captain and a bunch of his army buddies right if they're all officers or if he was taking the crew out hey guys on me come on right but they all go over to am to buy a round of pussy.

Yeah. On me, guys. Brunette's on me. Let's go. So they go over there, and this is where his father meets his mother. Wow. His mother is a Dutch prostitute at the time. A Dutch.

Yeah. She's working in. And it's not a high-end brothel, either. a little lesser yeah i think it's down toward the end of the street you know what i mean once you pass some of the more glitzy lights like what's down there oh the raised scar girls they have something too right so that's where he meets that's where he meets bernard's mother. Awesome. Is here. And they have, it's a weird thing. I mean, she's relatively new to this.

Yeah. And they fall in love over the course of, I don't know, whatever, however much you get for a hundred francs or whatever. I don't know. They fall in love. How much is this going to be? You have kind eyes. I mean, he must be good. Right.

Let's just say that. He's good. He's good. What a charmer. Wow. What a charmer. What a coxswain that guy must be. It's unbelievable.

To charm the prostitute out of a Dutch prostitute. That's pretty impressive. Charmed her out of her career. Yeah. charmed her out of her career yeah so anyway over the course of this meeting they decide that they're in love yeah and and he says i'm you know i'm you know i live in belgium right all of around here so if you want to run away with me you can run away with me they won't find you because she said well apparently she owed some whatever who knows what how they would get women to do this back then and it's kind of an indentured servitude thing where you'd have some kind of debt and that would be part of the and then you'd get

more in debt because a room and board and all that liquor licenses yeah yeah so a lot of jaeger yeah that money this is like share cropping pretty much like unbelievable but you're you're much more of a meager uh, I guess, in the end. I mean, one week a month, the crops are dead. Yeah, that's what I mean. So we've got to take a break, sip some lemonade on the porch. But this is like sharecropping, basically. And so she says that she's obviously not allowed to leave,

so they have to come up with a plot to how they're going to steal her away from her Dutch pimp. This is awesome. Okay, so she devises a plan, and this is actually a decent, I don't know if I would have thought of this. She's like, you know, how can I leave? So she decides the only way I'm going to be able to get out of here and be in a relatively public environment would be to need medical attention. So she slices her arm oh okay not like a wrist

but her arm deep enough right deep enough at the top of her arm like it's an accident like she was doing something oh my god i sliced myself wine and cheese for us slice myself i'm so clumsy exactly so deep enough to where she's bleeding and need stitches to where they have to take her to the hospital okay so this is the plan and the is... That's how bad prostitution is. You'd rather slice your arm open to go to the hospital. Well, especially if you're an indentured... She's not, like, empowered. Like, I don't care.

You know, she's not, like, at the bunny ranch, like, saying, I've chosen this, and, like, this is... This isn't glamorous. This is not. This is... I don't even know if she knew what she was getting into when she got into this whole thing. Because people were a little more naive.

A Dutch girl in the 50s was probably a little more naive than somebody now who can watch horrible, horrible, horrible things on the Internet. So anyway, the plan is for his dad here, the army captain, to leave like everything's fine. Oh, yeah. Good job. Thanks a lot. Yeah. Come again. The bells clang on the door as he leaves, you know.

A little Asian cat waving goodbye. Come again, sir. Yeah, that's it right there. Have a good one. You know how that goes. A little storefront and everything, and they leave like everything's fine. And oh, thanks.

Oh, the hell of a prostitute you got there. When she wasn't bleeding, she was wonderful. But the plan is to for him to go to the hospital that's nearby and wait for them okay so yeah so basically her i don't know whoever's running this brothel takes her to the hospital to keep an eye on her and everything like that so they're in the hospital and while they're in the hospital though she has a little more leeway because no they can't be like no get the fuck over here in the hospital because there'll be like what's up with that shit so in the hospital she says i need to go to the bathroom and the guy can't go into the women's

bathroom with her so she ends up escaping wow to the army captain waiting outside and they run away to belgium together unbelievable okay yeah It's a crazy love story, right? I thought you were going to say she needed to say she was pregnant. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. She sliced her arm open. She left without getting medical attention. I hope she eventually got medical attention because she didn't get stitched up yet when they left.

She just left bleeding. Unbelievable. But that was a better way to do it because they wouldn't think she would try to escape while she was bleeding like that. She went to the hospital and got stitched what a story so pretty crazy right so anyway they go back to belgium and they set up he gets out of the army and his dad is a tough go of it um they have bernard in uh in 1959 uh they have a very tough go of it he's an only child uh it turns out there's some medical issue after he was born i don't know if he mom had him i don't know if he ripped out his mom's innards or what but uh i don't know what happened there but it

was a medical issue so they could only have the one child and the father coming out of the army and the economy was a little it was sluggish and where they lived he there wasn't a lot of opportunity his father wanted to his father ended up being a waffle maker is actually if i said the waffles came up his father's a waffle maker of Actually, that's why I said the waffles came up. His father's a waffle maker. Of course he is. Of course he is. That's what I mean.

It's like, obviously. But his father wants to have his own business. Okay. So he opens, and this is like a big point of contention between him and his wife. They fight all the time because he opens a stand like a like a fucking stand really like a waffle stand like a hot dog stand for waffles but like but like a structure like a little wooden all right almost like the the banana stand in in arrested development in the middle of a there's always money in the banana stand but that that was on a pier where people go right this is like

near a park that's like at a base of a it's like an outdoor near like an outdoor thing where people go right this is like near a park that's like at a base of a it's like an outdoor near like an outdoor thing where people would go you know leisurely leisurely but not like a monday through friday not a crammed in like oh the lunch rush is coming none of that shit the so he thought this would be like he'd get slammed with tourists and he thought he was being smart by doing this but like nobody wanted a fucking waffle while he walked around in the in the in the forest and like you don't want to like climb up a walk up a mountain with a waffle no you know if you see all those little like yodelers and shit they never have a waffle in their hand it's rare you don't see it very often cream on their chin and shit this is amazing yeah so they're extremely the problem is now they're extremely poor yeah so basically

they're poor as fuck uh they live in a rural area kind of like he grows up like basically like if hansel and gretel lived at the gingerbread house yeah that's kind of how he grew up like that it's like a house that's like from what i understand there's like no road to it yeah it's like a house that like you have to like park and then like walk in the woods it's like from what i understand there's like no road to it yeah it's like a house that like you have to like park and then like walk in the woods it's like a weird i don't know how they got groceries they couldn't afford groceries that's and that's the honest thing they couldn't afford fucking anything damn they had like they used uh you know like a coal oven that they had it was very good what's his name charlie buckets it. It's a very European bucket situation here.

Lots of cabbage soup. Filling European buckets is what they're doing over here. So not cabbage soup. Do you know what they ate? No. I'll give you one guess. Waffles? Waffles.

That's it? That's all they had. Literally, they had waffles that the father sold in the store, and that's all they had to fucking eat because they couldn't afford anything else because he had to buy stock for the store yesterday's waffles yeah so his mother's very upset with his father for like you know we're all starving career you fucking jerk yeah jesus i mean i know it wasn't great but i i had some independence it wasn't your favorite but i was doing fine i mean i wasn't allowed to leave but i had some money in my pocket you know i had the day before you sir you rescued quote unquote apples apples bananas different stuff nutritious things that weren't waffles

especially when they have a child right so bernard grows up rescued me into destitute lifestyle into like a countryside fucking and things are weird too because you have his mother's a weird one too yeah as you might imagine. Maybe. So the two of them are odd, and we'll talk about how this affects Bernard, because he never had a chance to be normal. Let's just put it that way. Well, it gets worse, trust me, because how he ends up playing tennis, you're just like, why would you make your child do that? It's so weird, dude.

It's so weird. it's like smacking rocks with a waffle outside you would think no it's almost weirder than that okay so but the mother was like encouraging of him to play tennis but anyway there she's mad at him because now they're raising a kid on waffles and that's not really that nutritious i don't think that builds strong bones no and bernard would later on say that when he was a kid and he was playing first starting to play tennis, like, thank fuck, basically, that waffles back then they would put like a bunch of cream, like this sweet cream and powdered sugar on top. That's how he sold them.

So he's like, thank God for the sugar, because that's the only way I had energy to play tennis. I had no energy. Literally. It was like, otherwise, I never. I'm anemic. Yeah. He's got nothing it's fucking ridiculous like so basically the family has almost exclusively waffles to eat like they would forge for berries and shit like to put on the waffles i guess it's a blueberry waffle now

you fucking asshole here look it's a now it's a blueberry waffle now, you fucking asshole. Here, look, now it's a blueberry waffle. Can you imagine her at the thing with the, thanks a lot. Oh, that's good. And there's blueberries on it now. You feel better? Is that good? Not a waffle now I'm eating? Holy shit.

So they grew up, yeah, this is ridiculous. So basically, this is up until the time he's about 10 years old, only waffles. And then after that, and this sounds like so Belgian or I don't know, some sort of Austrian countryside shit to happen. I don't know where his uncle lived, but apparently the family comes into some money when a relative of the father's, one of Bernard's uncles, is killed in a shepherding accident. Like he has a herd and it's like i picture him with the staff right the whole deal you know the curly thing staff with a bunch of sheep around a beard and a big robe i don't know if he fell down a hill or whatever the fuck happened he did him whatever or if he just had a heart attack in the field i don't know but he died in what was called

a like a a herding a shepherding thing. He died with the sheep, apparently. Whatever hazard pay you get for that. He owned the flock. So that was the thing. When he died, they sold the flock and came into some money. So they finally had some cash. Thank fuck. Finally had some cash. It's been like 12 years of this waffle stand

and they're still working. He's just going there every day standing there with like a funny Belgian hat on, probably. Waffles! Waffles! He's looking over a hill. Someone coming? You guys know? Oh, you've been here before. You know, okay. Thanks.

We're here. There's blueberries now. I'm open! There's blueberries. We're open. Please. Anybody. Anybody. My son likes them. So, uh likes them so uh blow your fucking mind with blueberries blow your mind with that shit so they came into some money and by the way bernard said he never ever ate a waffle again uh after the money after that after they got money and he didn't have to he hated waffles literally to this day we'll never eat a waffle i don't blame

fucking hates waffles he's like fuck waffles at that point so he gets into tennis before the money though before they got any money we're not talking this isn't like millions of dollars but it's enough for food yeah so the other thing is when he starts tennis he's interested in tennis because he saw it like in town people were it, so he wanted to play. But you're dirt poor. All you eat is waffles. Tennis equipment's expensive. It's funny, right? So his fucking mother's a badass. His first racket, before later on when they saw he had some talent, somebody got him a racket.

His first racket was carved by hand. Like the racket part was carved out of wood. And they made like a kind of a tulip a twine out of tulip really stems yeah like if you strip and make things out of the middle yeah she twined made twine out of that because i guess it's got some elasticity to it a tulip especially right i'm dutch dutch she's tulip she's a dutch woman tulips got it i don't know so anyway she made that as strings on the racket and that was how he first started playing. But the fucked up part is this is the most fucked up part.

Okay. Now picture this kid. Yeah. Okay. Now he's a little Belgian kid. He's got waffle cream on his face. All he eats is waffles. He's got a fucking racket made of tulips and a tree.

Right. Okay. Like that's number one. Yeah. He's got a tulip racket with a fucking tree on it. And on top of that, okay, this is fucked up. When they didn't have money, his mother is Dutch, and she very much wants him to know that he's part Dutch, basically.

Oh, boy. And wants him to stick with Dutch culture. So there's a bunch of Dutch cultural shit. She's very fucking insistent that he do ridiculous things. But the most ridiculous one of all, she made him wooden sneakers. Jimmy, he had to. She made him wear wooden shoes as a child to know that he was a fucking to know that he was Dutch, basically wooden shoes.

But when he started playing tennis, those are the only shoes he had oh my god so imagine a child going out there yeah just finishing up his waffle right picking up his tree tulip twine racket and clunking out there clunk clunk clunk clunk clunk on wooden fucking shoes to play tennis think about that it's the loudest tennis match ever fuck the screaming and grunting yeah they sounded like a fucking stampede of horses coming through believable so that's how he's playing oh so the ridicule that's what i mean think about the shit he took for that nice racket nice fucking yeah got an extra waffle asshole like this kid is fucked man i mean he's he's just lucky he doesn't have a uh a waffle welded to a piece of stick we poked out the middle and we poked out the middle of the crime now it's a waffle just like it's a waffle racket so it's really hard it's a stiff one it'll it'll whack a

ball but that's the thing you gotta really don't hit as hard because it's there's no elasticity it's like a brick wall, man. Pow. It's coming right off of that shit. So this is obviously a hindrance to being interested in tennis and playing tennis. But finally, after his uncle's fucking accident there, when they got some money, he finally got his first pair of sneakers. This is around 10. So he got a pair of tennis shoes made specifically for tennis.

But he was playing in the clogs. Before that. From the time he was five. With the wooden tulip for a while. For fucking five years. And he was good at it. And he was good. Wow.

Well, he got a racket after a couple of years. Because somebody, a local, they should have gave him shoes. That would have probably been more helpful. But at first he was just like smacking it back with his hand. It was literally, yeah. Just playing fucking handball out there.'re like that's not how you place no i'm good i got it i got it i don't have any watch my backhand but i think maybe like one of the uh one of the other players was getting rid of an old racket or something like that basically

and he ended up with it but for some reason didn't get any shoes until he's 10 when he's finally given a pair of tennis shoes. And then at that point, he was fucking unbelievable. Like, is this the right equipment? They put shoes on him. And all of a sudden, now he can fucking move. Now he can play tennis. It was like nobody could believe that. Like, he went from overnight.

Yeah. Like, one level to the next level. They were like, what the fuck happened from From literally a day to the next day, nobody could believe it. And mostly they couldn't believe it because none of that is true. None of that's true. He is born in Belgium in May 25th, 1959.

Everything else, none of that's true. No waffles? No waffles. His mother's not a Dutch prostitute. His father is not a Belgian army captain. No wooden shoes. I was having so much fun fact of the matter is i know i know so did i we made a better story than he did that was see this is where my mind went as a fantasy because i couldn't find anything about his

early life like hardly at all just like his mom is you know and i thought i'm like oh man this is that somehow i don't know i love when you take your headphones off that's what i know i got you good so i don't know what happened. Forever. There will never, ever be a Crime and Sports with a... There's not a much early life on him. Well, here we go. Let's find out.

My 3 a.m. My 3 a.m. My 3 a.m. stone brain. We just made his mom a whore. We fucking ruined his dad's life for waffles. Waffles. My 3 a.m. stone brain. Oh, Jesus. Said, I'm going to make a childhood for him.

That's the most fun I've ever had. That's the childhood. And if that was real, that would really be the most amazing childhood i've ever had and that's the childhood and if that was real yeah that would really be the most amazing childhood we've ever had in crime sports history that would be wild holy shit the fact that we know nothing about belgium made it kind of believable didn't it kind of sort of believable right all the people in belgium are going this is crazy how could it be so stereotypical? This is unbelievable. Oh, it's fake.

That's why. He grew up in Texas out in a ranch. He slept on a horse. Slept right on the back of a horse. That's basically what he said. He used to go up in the holler and fuck another man every year for three months. His boyfriend's name was Heath Ledger. It's crazy. It's crazy.

It's crazy. Couldn't afford football cleats, so he wore cowboy boots. It was hard to block with no traction. Holy shit. Eventually, he just dug them heels in and learned to use it to his advantage. He became MVP.

He became MVP. Became MVP. Best lineman ever. He was all county. Taylor Swift is soaring high. Her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war,

first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery Show Business Wars. We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time, and in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Ding! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything.

You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period.

Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door.

The Emmy Award-winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season. It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. So yeah, none of that's actually true.

Well, that was fun. Yes, he's born in Belgium, in that town in Belgium. The stuff about the town is true. The dolls and the puppets and the Christmas market, that's true. And the wolf and the tenderloin. Everything else isn't true. None of that is true. Yeah, no, he's born.

His family, basically, they're blue-collar. They're not rich. They're not poor. They're just blue-collar. You know, with laborers, his dad and his mom both work. And, yeah's very grows up modest yeah there's some good facts here because it's hard to find it's really tough to find things that are some of these european athletes i don't know if i'm not googling correctly or whatever but

i have a hard time finding information a lot of times on some of the european ones especially from more than 20 years ago maybe the internet translates like fucking uh yeah uh subtitles when you got to put a different word in there that's the other thing i've translated so many things from dutch to english and from french to english and all this different shit so german english i've been translating my ass off this was a difficult one to put together but a lot of good information that was nowhere else came from a uh an excerpt from a book called history de scoop and it was published in 2017 it's by patrick homont and this patrick homont knew bernard really pretty well he was in in the tennis kind of in the tennis culture culture and knew him so a lot of that's from there basically uh uh he bernard was a really good tennis player from a

young age he's gifted he grows up to be six foot one you know 170 pounds and back then and in belgium they you know he was like he had like muscles and he was like in great shape and for a tennis player he was a really good athlete back then. So he was, everybody says he was, the Belgians there, he's by far the tennis player of his generation in Belgium. And even, he looked like he might be the next European star. Really? Just in general. Yeah, they said, basically until he was about 20 years old, people were scared of him.

Like Yvonne Lendl, people like that, who were like the big shots over there bjorn borg and uh i've heard of that name bjorn borg his name is yeah that guy uh they they were very much looking at him like oh man he could be a real force here in a couple years he we're gonna have to watch out for him he he everybody said he had a really good feel for the game he could uh it's kind of like a center fielder in baseball. Sometimes guys are just really good. They break on the ball at the crack of the bat. As soon as the ball hits the bat, they have this weird thing where they immediately know where the ball is going to be.

They know trajectory and all that. From the time, from two inches off the bat, they can tell and they start running to that spot immediately. Tennis has a similar thing of you can tell just from certain things, kind of like how Dennis Rodman got rebounds, was he just had this weird thing where he could just tell where the ball was going to bounce off. It was just a weird thing. I've watched it on TV, and they are moving as soon as that ball comes off the racket.

I mean, they're not far from it either. No, it's coming fucking 100 miles an hour. The difference in distance from the ball between a center fielder and a tennis player is oh it's it's so vast it's right there when it comes off the racket and they know exactly where the fuck that's going absolutely and that's some of it's ingrained some of it's learned some of it's just picked up but you know this is there's certain guys that have a more of a talent for it than others and that's what they said he was really good at he could just sense things that were happening knew where a ball was going to end up knew which what the opponent was going to try to

do he's had a great feel for the game they said his technique was perfect he was you know they're really a force to be reckoned with here uh now at age 15 1974 at age 15 he uh had he's offered a big contract by the royal leopold Club of Brussels, which is some sort of tennis club. I don't know. They had these tennis clubs because tennis was a big spectator sport in Europe and remains that way.

But back then it was Wimbledon and shit like that. French Open. They love that shit over there. They put like many people watch a football game into that place. It's fucking crazy. Yeah, it is. It's crazy.

Don't they do it at, oh, shit. Wembley? Do they do a thing at Wembley? I think they do. I don't know if they do or not. I'm pretty sure they do. I think it just sounds like Wimbledon. I'm not sure.

Maybe. I don't know. I could see it. I swear I can see that word at the bottom of the fucking thing. Yeah, somewhere in there. But tennis was a similar thing back then so they would sign young kids to contracts much like they do with soccer players now yeah we always hear about that you know at 14 or whatever yeah where they would see a talent in somebody and sign them for at for

whatever so this is this club signs him at this point he uh so he he stays with this club for a couple of years. Now, he is just taken care of with this. He doesn't get paid, but he gets luxury accommodations, car, all of his meals paid for, and he's got sponsorships from equipment people. So he's got money in his pocket, but that's what the club does for him, basically. So he basically moves to brussels he's he's 17 years old and he's like king of of belgium so it's pretty i would say yeah it's fucking amazing i can't imagine that's in a small country like that too you can do things like that like you can be this like kind of unmatched star right in a small like the u.s it's very hard to be yeah you know how many guys like lebron was like that when he was coming out

of high school like that kobe but i mean lebron here's lebron yeah lebron's high school games were on espn right that was fucking insane yeah with kobe it was just like hey that guy's gonna be pretty good yeah he can dunk well well at the mcdonald after the mcdonald's games that's when his his got to be a big deal. But they knew he was going right to the NBA. Yeah, and his father was a ball player. They fucking knew what they were getting with that guy right away. Whereas LeBron, it was just like, dude, that guy looks like he's 27.

Right. He's in seventh grade. And he's in the fucking 11th grade. And he's just dominating people out there looking fucking mean as shit. He was like jacked. That's like the only one though that's it even kevin garnett he went to the in the nba after high school but it wasn't like it wasn't like this was no it wasn't like lebron it's very rare that somebody is that wild is that known and and uh

this is kind of what he was in in in belgium so he said uh well let's get a quote from him he says quote from the age of 18 i could have lived tennis but there is already a very important problem uh and which was uh that he didn't have a coach at the time uh not at all basically he didn't have a solid coach and he would just kind of have a lot of free time so he's this kid who's got money and people kissing his ass and a nice place to stay and a bunch of free time yeah so obviously he's gonna fuck up some yeah i mean how do you not everybody telling him he's great right that's that's a dangerous relationship there to do that it's in the 70s yeah this is in the yeah in the mid 70s too so you could really get

into some debauchery there um so and he was too he would he would kind of take tennis less and less seriously and just kind of hang out um the he said that uh the the when he was with the leopold club of belgium that's when he was really like living it up though he said quote this is his quote quote, My contract with Leo ensured me the enjoyment of a flat Avenue Louise. It's a flat on Avenue Louise and a sports car from the age of 18. All my meals were served to me in the Leopold Clubhouse. I did not receive any money, but since I already had contracts with the equipment manufacturers, I had a nice sum per month. Yeah.

So he's just doing great. Basically, water and shelter and an income. It's he's thriving. That's it. Hanging out. Yeah. He said he's just doing great basically water and shelter and an income it's he's thriving that's it hanging out yeah he said he was just just hanging um he said uh then you know he trained a little bit he said that was it here's his schedule he gives it uh quote for the rest i was not subject to any rules i did what i wanted my days were almost the same i woke up around 9 a.m trained twice for two hours daily then from 4 to 10 p.m i spent time with my girlfriend and then most often i went out to

clubs so that's a nice living it up what a nice fucking uh a nice time jesus and the thing is this is his first kind of taste of um not only of nightlife and of like being an adult and being out, but this is his first taste of not being like, you know, lower middle class. Right. So he's like, whoa, this is a different thing. Yeah. And a lot of the other players, tennis is not a lower middle class game. No.

You know, a lot of the other players are from wealthy families, country club people. It's a different, it's like golf. Right. Lots of shirts with with colors that's i mean you just don't hear a lot about you know this kid from the wrong side of the tracks he just he picked up a racket i mean it happens but it's not it's not a common thing that's the most occurring like you'd see like a defensive back or a center fielder to see a man ready to serve and you can read his his neck tattoo yeah yeah that's what i'm saying it's not not only god can judge me tattooed on people's usual you know

war machine didn't go out and play a lot of tennis basically jesus christ oh yeah the bride of frankenstein tattooed from their ear to their clavicle i'm fucking real man that's what you want right there so and he says for his part he said it was a lot of influence of the older guys around there that were part of the club because he was like the youngest guy. He said, quote, I was strongly influenced by my elders like Eric Drossart or Patrick Homburgan, who were also former tennis champions who were older than him. Coming from the bourgeoisie, they were used to going out and i on the other hand discovered a world that the modest means of my parents did not allow me to associate with so for him it was like this is all new yeah like holy shit like you can go out and get like nice food and stuff i never saw that before i grew up on my waffles and

how great would that be if that was true honestly ah fuck the whole time throughout the rest of this story now i'm gonna see him resorting back to being a child yeah his ex-prostitute mother listen mom i don't judge you right only god only god can judge my mom tattoo on his neck only god god can judge my dutch prostitute mom it's a long tattoo but only god can judge greta that's it the holy earth it's only god she did what she had to do man so jesus christ so uh anyway at the age of like 18 here, he ends up coming to America. Really? Yes, to train and to be more.

He comes over a bunch of times, but then he moves there semi-permanently. Well, where's the worst place he could go? Jersey? Florida. I was going to Florida in the 70s, which is just a fucking mess. Isn't it sticky? Yeah, it's the worst. He's coming from this Leopold Club of Belgium is apparently the most kind of wealthiest,

chic club in the entire country, by the way. Country club. It's the most badass club there is. So it's one of those places. Where is he going in Florida, though? All around, because he's going to play different things and train in different ways. Yeah, got it.

So he ends up going there. He ends up going to Florida, where obviously a nice Belgian boy is going to be corrupted by Florida, because it's Florida. Pretty much right away, when he he gets there he smokes his first joint really yeah he's like got right into weed like they were like yeah that's this just is like this is florida parsley this is so florida cigarettes you gotta smoke this up yeah have

one what are you doing here so uh he said okay smoked a joint he liked it he was like this is good because he had a lot of pressure on him so he was like i like the relaxation and also to the belgians they are drinkers yeah just their european style whereas alcohol is not considered as much as like a taboo not even a taboo it's just considered what you you do you just have drinks like if someone was like let's say someone was a heroin addict like that's fine but that doesn't mean he shouldn't have a beer at dinner because that's a beer and that's it's a cultural entirely different yeah and there's different ways obviously they look at it but that's generally the culture because it's you know like wine and my culture is not considered booze really booze yeah it's just that's fine what do you mean you're not gonna okay don't drink just have some wine yeah you eat it with you travel with dinner so it tastes good

and you do the thing what are you doing i'll have to have a glass of wine it's out of your fucking mind it's kind of what it is here so he's uh he he's really kind of uh trying to get his legs under him in this situation trying to figure out who he is when you're 17 you don't know the fuck you are anyway he's trying to figure out who you are anyway and now you have people from the outside kind of telling you who you are if you're an athlete and sort of thing and we see that a lot with a lot of these guys even when they're high school athletes and things if they're not professional once money's involved it's different yeah you know like he's not even in high school he's not even doing oh fuck no he's just playing sports yeah he's just doing tennis he's an adult already yeah he's hanging out you know practices a couple times goes to the clubs

with his girlfriend yeah that's an adult life. Like a lucky adult, not even just an adult. As far as I'm concerned, he's already winning. I would say. And he said from there, the problem was he started smoking a little weed and none of his tennis suffered from it. So he was like, I don't know. It doesn't seem to be hurting me. So fuck it.

He said, quote, well, you know what? Let's do an in their own words on this one here. Let's get something because I love an in their own words. Let's do in their own words, quote, I wanted to taste all the pleasures of life. I did it with all the more carelessness as money was never one of my major concerns. As of my 18 years, I offered myself a joint of cannabis from time to time. Okay. So there's that. I his uh it's i love

the way he talks though it's a funny translation it's elegant yeah even the translation of it's not clumsy yeah it's pretty impressive right yeah i sound like shit reading it but he sounds probably great saying it i would assume yeah so uh he says the you know everything was going well he says quote the decline had been slow i continued to play well and since the competition was minimal he was doing fine he said basically over there he was the best guy around in florida when this training center he was at so it didn't really bother him he was like kicking everybody's ass smoking weed at night no problems at all he was kicking the shit out everything smoking it up and uh, uh, but he also,

when he started playing in tournaments with bigger guys, it became a little bit different. His dad said that, uh, he, his dad could see from the outside that he, he looked like he was kind of drowning a little bit, not drowning,

but he was stoned flailing. Yeah. Yeah. And he, out of his element. And it's tough just being a belgian guy in florida like you're not like you don't the language and is different you sound weird and everyone in florida is like what they're a bunch of shit kickers down there so especially

in the 70s 70s wasn't a bunch of everybody it was a it was bad stuff down there so they're just like i don't understand what you're talking about you just get rednecks there weren't celebrities moving there no purpose just rednecks that were like you could buy swamp land for nothing down there just put a house on it and fought the gators off it's fucking crazy the same excuse omaha still has it's chate it's chate that's that's because i'll explain that quickly we went to omaha to do a live show and we let's just say, when you get there, the number one question you want to ask is, why would people live here? Why do you do this?

Why? And so we asked everybody we could, Uber drivers, people at hotel, and all these people. We go, hey, what do you like about Omaha? And they go, because we weren't like, why do you live in this shithole? We were trying to be nice. We're like, what do you like about Omaha? And they go, it's cheap. Affordable. Every last one every sick i

mean to a fucking person like a dozen people it's like they paused and we're like what's the answer yeah i don't know i know i guess the answer we've all voted on collectively it is it's cheap can't afford nowhere else that's what it is that's all it is it's cheap and it's so fucking weird no one had any other answer not like even it's pretty because it's not or it's the people are nice because they're really not baseball yeah nothing just cheap mattress factories all right it's you could work there or just walk around it's nice to look at the mattresses and it makes me feel it's a restaurant i ate there. The mattress factory?

Because it used to be a mattress factory. And now it's like a bar and grill. And I guess where everybody congregates at night. See, that's the problem with Omaha. That's it right there. You're confusing yourself. You get a place and it shuts down. You go, I'll just keep the same name of the place.

Yeah, but that's not the same kind of business that you run. It's all right. I'm going to go down go down to chunky cheese and get me a new lady boy i was just gonna i gotta go over to right uh avis because my refrigerator quit working taco bell's got a special on lube jobs i think i'm gonna take my car down there give me a burrito while they're doing it. Oh, they don't have any more. Just lube jobs now? All right, shit. Yeah.

What kind of idiot are you? You want a burrito. You got to run yourself over to the bank. Yeah. Damn it. Pay attention, for Christ's sake. Eventually, everybody going to trade signs. That's what we're going to do.

We're going to figure out who's mixed up. We like to take the signs and just shuffle them like a deck of cards. It don't matter. It don't matter. And we go pick one, anyone. It doesn't matter. We keep the same menu. Shit, that's the mattress factory.

What the hell are we serving? Not a surda in the place. Not a surda in the place. It's all meatballs. Imagine someone walking in looking for a mattress being very confused. Are the mattresses in the back? Are they Casper's? What do you guys got?

Do you eat while you look at it? Do I get like a meatball sub and then walk around and look at mattresses? How does this work exactly? Listen, dummy. The best thing on the menu, looking at the pulled pork mac and cheese. No, I need a mattress. Listen, listen, boy. Our club sandwich is to die for.

Our club sandwich, it's a layer of blanket. And then we got this memory foam we put in there. It's terrific. Layer of wool, little bit of down. Jesus Christ. So, I don't even know how we got there. Sprinkled with memory foam memory i don't know how we got to omaha so he's he's in florida yeah okay so yeah his dad says that he's uprooted and he's he doesn't see his parents very often and they say that he's kind of

aloof to them too as well uh and it gets worse because like basically and his father even says it his dad earns basically the kid earns five times what his dad makes in a month in a week oh dad's pissed so dad's not pissed but bernard has an attitude about it like i'm fucking because now he's around all of these kind of upper crusty people and he he looks down on his own family of you fucking people or peasants, where it's like, yeah, they raised you. Who fucking sewed your tulip twine? It didn't happen, but she would have. You're here because of us, God damn it.

Your Dutch prostitute mother would have sewn you a tulip twine racket if you fucking needed one, asshole. She carved your shoes be a piece of shit you son of a bitch you son of a bitch i love his origin story the best origin story ever yeah what never mind the crimes good night everybody that's that's that's all you really fucking need man so yeah he's he's making a lot more than his dad which makes things weird and makes him act kind of shitty toward his parents and that's what they they don't get that they're like what's his fucking problem where you came from yeah it's

your parents for christ's sake so it's weird so but the club that he's in uh when before he goes to america the club that he was in like i told you his schedule they didn't schedule any like outside coaching any like one-on-one specific intensive things that he could do so he was just kind of fucking around yeah going to clubs and shit so that's why he went to florida basically and uh he said uh his father said once he left alone for a four-week tour of the United States. Borg and Gerolaitis were there, and the guys were knocking hard. Bernard returned after two weeks, sickened, and preferred to remain king in Belgium. So once he did a tour of the United states he was like oh it's tough out there

those people are good yeah i don't want to why be the 14th best guy when i can be here and be the king of belgium it's a little easier so that's how it was play well that's yeah also kind of a pussy move bad play in terms of the world stage but i don't know for yourself it makes you feel good but if you got an eagle about you that's like that's like fucking know, being a comic and being like, I'm going to stay right here in Des Moines. I'm going to be the funniest guy in Des Moines because I know if I go anywhere else, no one will think I'm funny. Or being a high school athlete and being like, you know what?

I'm going to do high school all over again. That's all. I'm going to just do it again. Because that college looks tough. Well, you see, outside of Des Moines, they don't get my tractor chunk. That's the thing. See, I got a whole trunk on Huskin and just a tractor thing and they don't get that. They're like the thing see i got a whole trunk on husking right and uh just a tractor thing and they don't get that they're like you know you know the jokes i mean

they're kind of obvious what do you remember you know like when you're sitting out on the track during the sun's beating down on you that's our shit you know what i'm saying so they don't really get it on the coast if you know what i mean also up in missoula they've never heard of the mattress factory that's the other thing i don't even i reference it i'm like mattress factory got the best spaghetti going everyone's like what the fuck he's been smoking fucking pcp or some shit before he went on that goddamn stage he just said he bought spaghetti at the fucking mattress they've got it i don't believe him of course they did so uh with his parents though apparently he became super super obnoxious oh by the way obnoxious to

his girlfriend as well yeah and we'll talk about this is how hot shit he thought he was this is at like 19 thinking he's king of belgium he forced his parents to carry his suitcases because he wouldn't carry them oh my so he was like yeah you guys carry my suitcases for me because that's beneath me. Right. And then, this is fucking amazing, his girlfriend at the time, ladies, imagine this, okay? You know, he's kind of a budding tennis star or whatever, but he wants her and insists that she walk three meters behind him, which is about nine feet, ten feet. That's a lot.

It's like ten feet behind him, basically. Stay ten feet behind me is fucking... In case any of this ego falls off, pick it up for me. Pick it up and put it back in my pocket for me, because I'm going to... Wow, that's some... Jesus. What the fuck would you say to a guy who said that to you? Ten feet.

You want to get like ten feet back? What the fuck? What do you got, the fucking covet or what no i'm fucking gonna stand next to you no we're not i'm your girlfriend we're not gonna social distance here asshole what are you talking about so yeah it's a it's strange so he's an asshole yeah at 19 his parents have to carry his suitcases while his girlfriend trails 10 feet behind the party like this is believable that's like like he tried to make his own entourage is what he tried to make out of his parents and his girlfriend everywhere he goes it's got to be like like a production like we're going somewhere on purpose that's what i mean and

like i'm the most important i'll be out front i can't carry anything other people do that my girlfriend you know there might be other women i need to talk to so i gotta get you in the back there so it's a grand marshal this parade yeah he's about a he's a bit of a dick here so uh he apparently uh he was very like one of the games he got thrown out of a game for arguing and uh it was like they tried to the some of the people in the tennis community tried to make a big deal out of it and he basically didn't care and in belgium they were like well he's good let it go so he was his bad behavior was being rewarded kind of a thing. He had silver-haired, middle-aged white men lining the streets for him.

And that's the issue with these kind of young kid sports. Whenever you have tennis or golf or any of these things, the silver-haired, middle-aged white men are even creepier. Because they're like, meh, you know. There's fewer of you. You're one of me. You're one of us. You know, like where they keep a distance like a football player or something like they look at them as like a livestock almost.

These guys are like, look at you. You're yeah, you're rich and you're white. You're like me. This is what I like. It's just like I would like to be except athletic. That's I'm not as athletic as you. Yeah, exactly. So he says here, this is, you know, he goes through, this is basically his late teens.

He says, quote, I was on hash until I was 24. Uh-huh. All right. During tennis tourneys abroad, hours seemed to last days, weeks were months. But when I smoked a joint, time passed much quicker. Yeah, it's more fun seems to go the opposite for me no it's quick time goes by so slow you watch some tv eat something you fall asleep hey where did that happen that was fast that was yesterday he says quote my

tennis results did not dip and in latin america south africa and the states i could find everything i needed so he's like you know i was smoking weed having a good time and why not when you're that age too smoking some weed isn't going to affect you physically if you're a if you're a 22 year old top tier professional athlete like weed is not going to look at the nba those guys run back and forth for 48 fucking minutes doing the most athletic crazy shit you've ever seen 73 percent are stoned 90 90 11 percent are stoned. 90, 90, 11% are stoned. 90, 11. Ruined.

Like real stone, like while they're playing stone, because that basketball is a much better game. If you were, if you were that stoned, you'd be sitting in a lawn chair, staring at the sun. So now my eyes hurt.

That was, I was a teenager. That's what we used to do. You smoke blunts and go play basketball and you'd be fucking, it would, you'd focus and it would be great. My one friend played basketball on like three hits of acid for like seven hours. I've never seen anything like it before. He didn't even like basketball. That's wild.

He just saw a game and thought it was interesting and ended up playing like every, it was a park with a bunch of hoops. He played seven hours straight of basketball, just was going around inserting himself into games and I'll be your extra guy. And like it was weird dude i don't know we were like what the fuck he never we would play all the time he never would play and all of a sudden he goes out on his own wanders the streets on acid and comes back i just played basketball for like seven fucking hours soaking wet with sweat what so super strange he, yeah, he's doing fine. In 78, he started touring and touring everywhere.

And the following year, 79, he makes it to the finals at the Brussels Outdoor Tournament. Yeah. And he is the Belgian national champion. They have a Belgian tournament every year. The Belgian national champion every year from 78 to 83. Wow. So every single year, he's just the guy. back to belgium knocks the shit out of all these people knocks the waffles right out of their hand and then gets back on the road knocks the sprouts out everybody in brussels that's it babe so uh during that time he uh he's on the belgian davis

cup team which is i suppose they're like team. Yeah, it's whatever their best international. We're going to put them together to fight to go against Switzerland. I don't know. So that's close there, too. I think so. It goes. Okay, I know this. Everything there is very close, right?

You got Italy. Picture Italy kind of down to the right. Down and to the right. Okay. Then just north of Italy is Switzerland. I know that. Switzerland is right there, okay? And then just to the west of that is France.

France is there. And then along the sea to the north, Belgium borders France, and then the Netherlands is there, and then also Germany is next to France, above Switzerland. It's all crammed right together. It's all crammed right together. It's all crammed right together.

Yeah. All this shit is very close together. It would be like if, you know, Missouri was fighting Nebraska when they have fights. So it's wars, I guess, would be a better way to put it. You know, when countries fight and shoot at each other and stuff. What's that called? When a country is mad at another one. Can't think of the word war.

Okay. So, yeah, he's big on that he appeared in 14 davis cup entries for his country uh the first was in 77 and the last was in 85 i guess he did a bunch there uh he appeared in 38 rubbers uh-huh that That's gross. Yeah. There should be more. He put 38 condoms on and set the world record. He appeared in them. Guinness Book of Records for most condoms applied, 38. It's very impressive.

That is pretty good. Of which he won 22. Really? 22 of, I don't know. One of the rubber matches? I don't know, 60. Is that when each of you are even? I suppose. There's a set to break it.

We probably know. Let's be honest here. 16 of them in singles and 6 in doubles, it says here. In 81, he was at a tournament in Brussels, Belgium. It was on clay. He was in the doubles deal here and apparently won it won a title there in 82 he was in a grand slam singles really yeah tournaments he started really being into the on the world stage he made it to the second round of the french open and then went to wimbledon and also made it to the

second round there so won a match in each of those which just to be on that stage and win a match is it's impressive it's impressive and you kind of have to break in like that and win a match and go okay that wasn't that crazy seeing somebody that's actually decent at tennis it's pretty impressive oh it's really somebody that's really good at it it's wild it's unbelievable it's it's a yeah well it's it's like watching any other sport where you're like wow how the fuck do you do that it's it's just so it's such a like a an individual thing like it's so uh no other no other skills lend to tennis no other it's so specific it's so specific it's like hitting a baseball it's the same exact thing like you you can't do other stuff to hit a baseball better you have to keep hitting baseballs

you know it's anybody can put a ball on a racket. Anybody can hit it. Yeah, anybody can hit it. But to put it where you want to put it. Hard. Unbelievable. And put spin and English and shit on it. That's the other thing, to get it to go where you want. And also, like we were saying before, to have an idea of where it's coming off the racket so you know which way to break.

To return it. Yeah. And then you have to take that quality and talent and return it in the specific place that you want it to go. To try to make him. And to try to make him try to make that guy not know where it's going it's an unbelievable sport it's pretty wild very basic but fucking impressive athletically too so uh yeah his his uh 82 he goes there does that he reaches the

quarterfinals in sao paulo as well down there january of 83 he's in the in the 225 000 hollywood tennis classic in brazil and why they call it the hollywood tennis classic when it's in brazil there's a hollywood everywhere i guess so i guess the winner gets 225 000 which is a pretty good hefty amount of money in 1983 and now and probably for a while in the future uh yeah there's uh he ended up getting beat though uh he beat a guy from ecuador named andres gomez and then he uh apparently lost in the semi-finals there and uh yeah he also uh he played this is the richest ever tournament in brazil's history most prize money $250,000 yeah he said that uh there was so much money to be made in Belgium that he preferred to hang out in Belgium.

He just liked it. That's one of the things that went against him was he wasn't one of those guys that was like, I'm going to go out there and find the best competition, and I want to play fucking Bjorn Borg and fucking John McEnroe constantly because they're good like he was like I can make money and hang out and just be worshipped in Belgium fuck it this is great also the competition to get 225 grand has got to be insane meanwhile if he gets like I don't know eight grand here ten grand there yeah same thing scratch it all together make 225 a year and have his girlfriend 10 feet behind him and his parents carry his bags. What the fuck? Why not?

If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast,

WikiHole, from SmartList Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'll learn that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink rollercoaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively shout,

how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. So yeah, he said from Monday to Thursday evening, he goes out in a

club, goes out to clubs and shit from Friday to Sunday. He plays in two or three tournaments, which he beats the shit out of everybody in Brussels when he does that. And then when he goes to goes abroad, he doesn't have quite the same luck, but he starts doing starts doing

decently well here. Basically, everything was going well. July 31st, 1983, he is ranked 42 in the world. In the world. Number 42 in the entire world, and it's the highest ranking he'll ever achieve in his career. It's the best ranking by a Belgian since the creation of professional tennis in 1968. Really? So he's the number one Belgian ever at this point in time.

Grace. As fuck. This is Grace. Yeah. He is at the top of his mountain, and it's about to really get bad. It's about to yodel down. Yeah. He is going to, much like his fictional shepherding uncle, he is about to take a tumble down a hill and be just stampeded by sheep.

Unfortunately, that poor uncle, he really had it tough. But that money helped the family. I was happy to see that. So the problem here is, is in 1983 is when he moves from weed to heroin. Oh, no. Which isn't good. No. That's a big difference. There's a large chasm between weed and heroin oh no which isn't good no that's a bad that's a big difference there's a

large chasm between weed and heroin it's a lot it's the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing one all right it's way different you're exponentially yeah it's expanding your mind oh you're doing all you're expanding a lot including your risk factors and your hepatitis c infection rates and your and your ability to actually function that's yeah you're changing your life to be dependent upon this yeah and he he'll at times he'll talk about it and he'll say that he only sniffed it he never injected it but then other times he talks about injecting it even snorting it as fucking bananas it is it is and i i actually i fucking had a girlfriend in high school that did that. Really?

Like, yeah, I didn't know it until like one time she was hanging out and there was some people and she was like, yeah, I'm doing this. I was like, pardon? Yeah. You're doing what now? I'm going to go snort heroin. Okay. That shit was like, pardon me. So we're bragging up?

So yeah, that was a little, I wasn't, I don't think we were together after that, if I'm honest, but then we were back and forth, you know, high school. That's fucking wild. Yeah, it was a little, I wasn't, I don't think we were together after that, if I'm honest. But then we were back and forth, you know, high school. That's fucking wild. Yeah, it was weird. A lot of people back there were doing that, but luckily I don't think she got too deep into it. She might have. She could be dead by now for all I know. I don't keep track of people.

How do I care? So if she's not dead, good for you. Congratulations. Congratulations. Still don't want to talk to you. So anyway, yeah, he says he, you know, he just was going around, doing it, hanging out, doing some heroin, smoking some weed, doing his thing. He says, quote, this is a fucking good one here.

This is, we should do another In Their Own Words on this because he's out of his fucking mind. Let's do this shit here. In Their Own Words, quote, if one day I slipped into artificial paradises, it's because I never had the appropriate environment. Overnight, thanks to my talent at tennis and the good results I had at the time, I started being treated like royalty with money flowing. While I was coming from a working class background where my pocket money was a joke. All this makes you vulnerable. Oh, you poor guy.

So vulnerable. You poor bastard. You downtrodden fuck. Too easy is what he just said. makes you vulnerable yeah oh you poor guy so vulnerable you poor bastard you down trodden fuck what too easy is what he just said life was so easy that it's just i'm just boring yeah just boring that's all fucking too easy so uh the problem is he breaks up with his girlfriend and this this really accelerates drug use and other problems here um he also i guess him and his friend were fighting a guy named gabriel gonzalez they were he's another tennis player i guess they were for getting along so he's fighting with his girlfriend he's fighting with his best friend

possibly because he was on heroin yeah sometimes yeah you might not be in your bright state of mind like if you get along with people before heroin then you start taking heroin and you don't like them anymore might be the heroin mood swings you know could be you that's all i'm saying they're not you know on heroin so that's how that works so yeah he goes on that and uh he said the heroin was just a a big deal here he said quote i felt more and more alone as soon as i was away from home i got depressed i had already discovered marijuana during a training camp in florida two or three years earlier but that day in 1983 as we had run out of soft drugs a friend offered me heroin that i accepted i knew it was unhealthy

but i didn't think i would continue to take it okay no that's a guy who's looking for something because i you don't it's a guy that hates reality that's what i'm saying because if i have if there's no weed i'm just like i guess there's no weed i'm not like well i guess is there heroin right i don't go to heroin is my fucking plan b oh so heroin then okay good you do bitch about it a little little bitch but i won't be like so who's got heroin what am i taking to make this not suck this sucks that's on the road though that's nice to talk to that many people yeah there's a lot there's a lot i wish there was weed here yeah that'd be good yeah that'd be nice but there's never uh is there cocaine yeah i'll

take anything else anybody's got does Does anybody have Molly? Yeah. We've been playing. People offer me pills all the time. That's okay. I'd rather not. I don't want any of that shit. Just the weed would be good. Yeah, that's all I'm looking for. Sorry.

Really looking for one specific thing. No, but I've got mushrooms. Well, maybe. Well, that's... Well, after this, I'll look forward to that. After the show. After the show. Well, we're going to... That's... I'm going to take that and sit on that for a while and think about it. After this, I'll look forward to that. After the show. After the show. I'm going to take that and sit on that for a while and think about it.

So he said he was just, for him, it was like, yeah, just a fun thing. I guess we'll do some heroin, snort some heroin at first. And then after that, it kind of got to be a little more of a habit. As people say, it's kind of a cliche. That's more addictive than heroin. That's because heroin is very addictive. That's why they use it as the most addictive thing. That's what they use it as.

Yeah. The X to the factor, the main deal there, the control. So he he says, quote, the day before an important match, it gave me the impression that I could calm down to be able to approach the meeting in a calm and relaxed manner. Without realizing it, I was becoming addicted. There I dived. Dived means to do heroin. To sink one in?

Yeah, that's doing heroin and being high on heroin is diving. He's always referred to it in this. And also he calls heroin, he'll call it hero a lot. They call it hero over there. So I guess if you want it really bad it's a here it's pretty heroic i mean when you're when you're puking and then you throw a spike in your arm and then you're not puking anymore that's pretty fucking heroic that's heroic i did it yeah he said quote i no longer had a fiance no more coach no more friends i started taking heroes every day what a hero what a hero it really changed your life

and that's what it was. He said his fiance walking out on him. Really? That put him over the edge. Unbelievable. He was making her walk 10 feet. Okay. If someone made you walk 10 feet behind them.

Right. And this is the same woman, by the way. He's been with her for seven years. Makes you walk behind him and all this type of shit. And then on top of that, now he's doing heroin. I'm like, all right like all right you know what i'm out the risk isn't worth the reward yeah you know i mean even if i was with you for future success yeah i don't i don't your stock is dropping every time you stick a fucking needle in your arm the juice isn't worth the squeeze sir i'm squeezing and getting blood this is gross it's fucking disgusting yeah so his fiance uh who was also

a tennis player as well she was a woman's player uh she leaves him and now he's just like okay well time to get it on yeah now i can party i have nothing and he says quote this is his kind of whole story here he says quote my attraction to the hero coincided with a sentimental break my girlfriend whom i had known for seven years, left me. My drug use was also the result of an existential malaise. I don't think any of our athletes have ever blamed their drug use on an existential malaise before. I can assure that, as a matter of fact. I don't think most of our athletes could fucking say existential malaise. They sure can't spell it. It's hard for me to say it. I don't think most of our athletes could fucking say existential malaise.

They sure as shit can't spell it. It's hard for me to say it. I don't mind that. Yeah. Imagine Buck Zumhoff saying existential malaise. I got an existential malaise, motherfucker. Corey Dillon trying to spell that to police. Yeah, that ain't going to happen, man.

Fuck me. We've had plenty of people who had a hard time reading so dexter manley couldn't spell it to anybody so the next that's all it was i just i don't know why buck zoom hoff pops in my head existential malaise motherfucker i don't know why because he would never know what that means. So, yeah, existential malaise. I never digested the life of a professional sportsman. I never thought of using the services of a trainer. Yeah. Okay.

Really? Yeah, like, you know, to work out. Never even had the idea. Never even thought of it. Weird. I make a living as a professional athlete. Right. Maybe I should work out.

Nah. This heroin's fine. Yeah, he said i never thought of establishing a career plan i left a dissolute life little compatible with the practice of a high level sport but that but despite this i continued to win easily in belgium that's the thing he can be a fucking junkie and win in belgium so he doesn't care he can still be famous what's the difference who gives a shit uh this facility obviously did not encourage me to question myself his yeah uh he says rather than being content with winning

victories in national tournaments without great sporting significance i should have overlooked some of these competitions to better prepare for the grand slam tournaments and who knows climb into the top 10 of the world tennis hierarchy. Right. Yeah. And not do heroin. Right. That was also what you should have done. Yeah. So when you're a pro athlete, just to go over it, you should train and try hard at your sport and then try to succeed at it.

And then not to do fucking heroin or drugs. Yeah. Probably not do heroin and not work out and not train and not care. Anything that requires snorting a powder or slamming a needle in your arm. Maybe, maybe, maybe get away from those. Maybe don't do that part.

Yes. Unless it's just fucking steroids. Then he could really help you as a matter of fact, especially him. He wasn't working out. Right. He was just gotten fat. So he said it was a little expensive,

but he didn't really care because he had money. He says, quote, at the beginning, it cost me a thousand francs a day. On the other hand, it became more and more difficult for me to go up this uh up the slope he says which is obviously they get high yeah he's chasing the dragon i stopped between 25 and 30 times but it was regularly a blow in the water so just nothing he just i'm gonna quit now and the next day he's doing it again so a thousand francs a day, that seems like a lot.

Yeah, I don't know. It's probably like 20 bucks. I don't know what the goddamn exchange rate in 1984 for francs to American dollars. It's probably a lot, or a decent amount anyway. Heroin used to be expensive. It's not anymore, but it used to be. It's fucking cheap now. Yeah, because of pills.

Yeah. Well, no, heroin itself is cheap. Pills are expensive. People want it. Right, because of pills. There pills a huge supply is what i'm getting at plenty of heroin out there but it drives down the price of street heroin because pills are fucking much easier that's it yes it's a lot of uh a lot of people prefer them to think it's a different thing so you don't have to put shit in your arm most people start there yeah that's why they start there and then they they

only go to street shit when they can't afford pills anymore because otherwise the pills are i assume better i don't know i would imagine hate pills but much easier yeah and just the the the answer to your problems i guess so so uh he's in nice france in 1983 and he's in a doubles tournament with Libor Pimek. Yeah. That's his partner. Libor, L-I-B-O-R, Pimek. P-I-M-E-K. They beat Bernard Fritz and Jean-Louis Halliott from France.

They beat them. They sound tough. This is on clay. Very exciting. That must have been here. They sound tough all the time. This is on clay. Yeah. And very exciting that must have been here.

1984, he's a quarter finalist at the 1984 Don A Indoor Championships and a semifinalist at the Hilversum that year. I don't know what the fuck that is. He upset a top 10 ranked player named Kevin Curran. He beat him. And then he has a victory in a Grand Slam match in the 1984 French Open where he beats a guy named Guy Forget. I assume it's Forger, but it's Forget.

It's spelled Forget. Guy Forget is his name, which is fucking hilarious. Most forgettable guy on Earth, Guy Forget. Yeah, that sounds like an app that chicks use to, I don't know, forget about guys, I guess. Go to Guy Forget. We don't even talk about guys. All you do is you just punch the name in, and then it goes into all your apps, and it deletes him from everything. That's the thing.

It deletes him from everything. It deletes Google searches that might bring up his name. If he murdered someone, you wouldn't even see it. Did we just invent an app? He goes back through your Facebook, and it scrubs it so so that it's never reminds you everybody that's ours that's ours that that's good we're copywriting that you cannot use that we're grabbing an app called guy forget and it takes you into instagram and it unfollows him and then it takes all your tags off his photos and all his off of yours yep and then we're going to guy version called Lady Be Gone. And that'll just wipe out

every last drop of scratch or anything she's out there. Any comment she's ever left on anything, goodbye. She's in a news story, it won't come up on your Google search. Nothing. She'll never come. If someone with her name, still it won't come up. If someone with

her name becomes president, you'll never know because it won't come up on your computer. Guy forget and way to be gone. Way to be gone and guy forget. Those are ours. Buy our app. Those are, that's fucking, we're going to do this, by the way. We just came up with something.

That's a genius app. We just came up with something brilliant. Okay. So, all right. We might not be doing this show much longer. If this hits, I'm not doing this, so. Oh my God. Every day fucking relationships are ruined. Yeah, we're doing this. much longer. If this hits, I'm not doing this. Oh, my God. Every day fucking relationships are ruined.

Yeah, we're doing this. That's going to be great. Untap. Guy forget and lady be gone. I got to write that down. Wait till you hear those apps sponsoring this show. Yeah. That would be fucking perfect. That would be goddamn perfect that would be goddamn perfect so jesus christ it's at this

time he's doing a shitload of drugs yeah and it's also at this time that a french player who'll come in play prominently in bernard's life later on named yannick noah he's making accusations in the public about drug use in pro tennis he He's saying, tennis players are using drugs and we got to get drugs out of the sport. And he's that guy. Calm down, fucker. Relax, Yannick. Chill the fuck out. Here, puff, puff, give, motherfucker.

That's a guy that lost and knows that the guy that beat him was smoking weed. And he's furious. I know he's on coke probably. That's what he's furious about. Just see him go side to side. That's bullshit. Nobody moves that fast.

Nobody has a shuttle time like that i'm sorry nobody so he said that uh yeah there was accusations there but he couldn't prove the use of hard drugs there obviously but he did name a couple people that he thought were on drugs and uh the bernard said that the people he named quote had the had the same problems I had, but they never named Bernard, I guess. He says, quote, I won the championship three times, the Belgian championship. I won the championship three times while I was a heroin addict. I was so talented that I managed to compensate for the negative effects of the drug. He's still pretty cocky, too.

That is a bit of an arrogant thing to say. I was so talented. My natural gifts came through so much. You have to wait for other people to say that about you. No, no, no. Michael Jordan doesn't go on TV and talk about I'm so talented. He actually does. What did he say that?

He says I'm so talented. He says I'm so talented. I'm so great. Literally says I'm the greatest player that's ever played. But that's very specific to Michael Jordan. I've never heard him say that. Oh, look at his Hall of Fame speech. Really? His Hall of of fame speech is like you bitches thought you were better than me fuck that i'm the best ever god damn it i'm fucking one-on-one to titles i don't give a shit fuck

bill russell i don't care how many rings he had because i'm better mother like it was like whoa it was like a score settling bitter it was almost a feud it was like if they if they were having a ceremony for people who specifically didn't get into the hall of fame it was like the haters ball fucking thing on chapelle show like nick cannon behind him wiling out that's what it almost was he got up there and was like yeah so i mean i'm the greatest so i should be here cat williams spitting a few bars fuck isaiah fuck that guy i. I mean, LeBron's all right, but I mean, do you know that pose I do? Come on, man. I'm Mike.

Get the fuck out of here. I got a silhouette on my ear. Yeah, dude. I don't want to hear that shit. Like, he was so- I've never seen it. Dude, look it up after this show. Unbelievable.

Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame speech. I mean, people are like, oh, that's awesome. But you're like, yeah, that's an asshole. That's the time to be humble. You know what I mean? He's a fucking asshole. Yeah, they're telling you how great you are and rather than him going thank you you know hey man what are you gonna do you're right he's like let me tell you a little bit more about how great i am

i don't have all section here's the parts you missed i got a powerpoint to prove it carve my head from copper but i'd like to tell you more okay because i don't think it's been said enough i'm wonderful all right he's such a fucking asshole uh jesus christ just an arrogant asshole he's he finally uh spoke out about something last week i was like wow yeah he did holy shit shitload of money wow amazing maybe if you did that 25 fucking years ago it might have made a difference mike thanks you know what hurts my heart is just that uh he donated 100 million dollars which is fucking amazing to all these unbelievable organizations my fucking personal problem where i sweat every day is going that man had 100 million dollars to give away that's

unbelievable that means that he must have had some sort of... It has to be disgusting. His tax burden must have been wild this year. Not to be a jerk, but Mike has never been one to really let his social conscience run wild. So I feel like he's like, look, we started that company and we did the stock thing. I made a lot of money here. I got a... I put out three new shoes this year.

$100 million I got? Fuck, I got to raise it. Wow, all right, well. Do it all at once, what do you say? stock there i made a lot of money here i gotta i put out three new shoes this year 100 million i gotta fuck i gotta write it wow all right well do it all at once what do you say i don't want to have to pay it to the government fuck it i guess we'll do it but it is nice it's unbelievable that's great i'm not i'm not begrudging that he said he did the right thing i'm just just took him 30 years that i'll never make 100 million dollars in my life especially not an extra hundred million a billion dollars fucking insane giving away that's awesome wow that is awesome so uh yeah he said he was so talented that he managed to compensate for the negative effects of the drug so much so that i thought it would not affect my physical and mental condition and since the hero made me feel like i wasn't as miserable

as i was i kept taking it because he's fucking on heroin he's feeling pretty feeling pretty mellow feeling pretty good goddamn hero yeah it's a fucking hero uh he says quote this is later on uh quote from september 1984 until february I used heroin almost daily, always sniffing. I never took shots, which isn't true at all here. So, I mean, he was obviously in a state of misery, whether he was on the heroin or not on the heroin. But, you know, it's not miserable, Jimmy. What's that? The sales that are going on in 1984.

Let me tell you something down in shreveport louisiana come on in here uh some used cars for sale down at uh vacation used cars uh we got 1977 mercury bobcat wagon gross for 34.95 on sale there that's 34 no. We got a 1977 Cadillac Fleetwood four-door V8. Yeah. Oh, baby. This thing, you and your whole family could live in there and sail it across the ocean blue. $8,400. $59.95.

Not bad. Not too shabby. Your 1978s. We got a 1978 Ford Granada. Yeah. A $42.95. Piece of garbage. Got a Pontiac Sunbird four-speed stick.

Gross. That's a piece of shit. Two-door, four-cylinder. Oh, boy. $35.95. That thing sucks. Wow. Yikes.

Nobody wants that, man. That is ridiculous. That one better be $35. For real. So bad. 1979s, we got a two-door coupe Camaro. That's not bad. They're V8 auto and big gas guzzler long ass doors on a long ass hood on those boy you could where's the end of it yeah it's a two-door but it's all the space of what four doors takes up that's oh totally 59.95

and then a jeep cj7 oh there you go. I'll get on the mountains there. 4x4 with the hardtop. V8 auto. Hardtop? Hardtop. 4x4. Yeah, not bad. $57.95.

Jesus. Which is probably worth more now, that thing. Yeah. And also, a newer one. We got a 1980s. We got a 83 Ford Fiesta 2-door. Four-cylinder, four-speed stick, $29.95. Jesus Christ.

And then you take that new car and you head right to the movies. Yeah, you do. Where you sit down and you go to the Quail Creek Cinema there at the Shreveport-Barksdale Highway. Indoors. Indoors, I believe. Yeah, this is indoors. Sundays and holidays, first matinee show only. You can see Splash with Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah, which was one of my favorite movies

when I was a kid, because somebody stole it from the video store and I had it. So you owned it. So I watched a lot of that. Fuck it, let's watch it again. And Beverly Hills Cop. I watched several thousand times. I know every word to Beverly Hills. You could put it on now.

Rewind and play it again. Every word, I know. Fucking ridiculous. The songs start. Such a good movie. I'm like, oh, Pointer Sisters are coming on it again. Every word I know. Fucking ridiculous. The songs start. Such a good movie. I'm like, oh, Pointer Sisters are coming on. There we go. I know exactly what's happening.

Such a good movie. Go see Chattanooga Choo Choo. Hell yeah. See that? See Police Academy, the first one. Oh, goodness. The first Police Academy there. That one was actually not that good.

No, no. It's not. No, it's just a stupid. Yeah. It's a silly kind of slapstick comedy. The one that I liked best is the one in Miami or Fort Lauderdale. The one in Florida. It's stupid and awful, and it's the only one that I can actually watch.

When I was a kid, it was the Citizens on Patrol one. That's the one, I think. That wasn't in Florida. That's not in Florida? It was three or four. Okay. It was like 1988-ish. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Citizens on Patrol. That's the one with David Spade in it. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that one. There's a skateboard punk. Exactly. That was one of those. Yeah, and it's all professional yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i remember that skateboard punk that exactly that was one of those yeah and all that's all professional skaters like mike mcgill with him and shit yeah and he's pretending to be there yeah hanging out with them okay get christian slater in there at least oh you can go to the south park mall and you can see fire starter

with a very tiny tiny drew barrymore oh that is that is her. Yeah, that is her. Or go down and see Once Upon a Time in America. Go see a fucking epic there, which is a great movie with Robert De Niro and crazy-ass James Woods. Or you can take the car over to the Adventure of a Jungle Safari. What? Which sounds dangerous,

because it's in Louisiana. Yeah. Wildlife World. Drive through Wildlife Park and Zoo. Yeah. Which sounds dangerous the uh the logo is a lion in a safari outfit with a heiling hitler as you can see it is a unreal hitler heiling lion wow is that a tiger james tiger tiger sorry it's a he's heiling hitler i didn't

realize what kind of cat it is it's's something that shouldn't be howling. Why is he? I mean, hand behind the back. Right. The whole thing. That's a hard howl. Why isn't he goose stuffing? Jesus.

He's going to when he's done howling. That's the thing there. So you can go to Nazi Wildlife World, too. Then if you really need a bite to eat, I got an idea. Head on down to this. Sounds very like a Louisiana Mexican food restaurant from the 80s. Yeah. Tomasito's Mexican.

Guarantee you it's a guy named Tom. Yeah. And he's like, I'm called Tomasito's. T-O-M. I'm going to Latin up this what? Tomasito's Mexican restaurant and bar. Fresh food made daily. Nothing frozen except our margaritas.

Oh, boy. Now serving Mexican style baked potatoes what what the fuck is that that's that's how you latin up white tomasito how the fuck did you do that it's a regular it's like a regular baked potato but i put some jalapenos on it and now as i call it a mexican baked potato so where i used to put the chili on it, now it's just, you know, some refried. That's all I've got to throw that on there. Refried some onions. And a fried lard.

That is some Spanish shit. Mexican style baked potatoes. I've never heard of that before. And now serving canned beer. And every Friday, they have enchilada dinners for $3.95. So get there. I don't know how you're going to resist it here that sounds pretty fucking awesome i would say tomasitos i'll bet it's still open it's tomasitos yeah no tomasitos there that's mexican style get your mexican style baked potatoes

i have to take a picture of heiling hitler and because that's i'm going to do that now while we're doing this because I really feel like I'm that's got to be on the on the that has to be on our on our social media I don't see how people are going to be like are you fucking kidding me that is the heiling tiger heil tiger so heil exotic is what he's doing they do that at the LSU games do it they do that at the lsu games go tigers go tigers woo so uh now geau just mixing all kinds oh yeah yeah together french tiger hiling disaster french tiger hiling so uh let's see here now 1987 the the details on this are murky but he ends up spending about three weeks in jail on a theft charge sometime in 1987 don't know how don't know why don't know the details but he does a little

bit is because he stole his parents dignity oh that's right that's what he did his fucking luggage jesus christ what is you know i just i don't feel you know i think our boy stole our dick i think he stopped check my no i checked my pockets call the police let's file a report you dutch whore i told you i checked my pockets i checked them maybe you put them on your fucking waffles you have some dignity waffles today put it on there instead of blueberries that you found out in the goddamn fields, you lousy bastard. I love how there's Southern and living a fantasy life that I've made up. Furious about it.

Furious about it. So this is 1987. Like I said, sometime in 87, he's a month in jail and this can best be described as the by the one sentence he used to describe this period of his life from like 85 to 88 he says quote i did a lot of bullshit related to drug use which is right fair enough that that explains it we have no idea what it is and i found that quote and i went no there it is that's what happened bullshit related to drug use so february 1988 this is kind of where it comes to this first head this is his first heads up that hey theft charge that's one thing yeah he gets caught in brussels with heroin on him oh no which is not

great 1988 um yeah it's less than a gram of heroin but but it's some heroin. I mean, you're not allowed to have any of it, so that's how that works. He says, quote, I had a few milligrams of Hero on me. They kept me for a few hours, but released me on the condition that I no longer touch drugs. You stop. Fine. You stop, you. You got it. Okay.

You're not going to do it anymore? Never again. If you don't, no waffles later. I understand. Okay. I swear to God. Well, you can have a waffle. I mean, we're not made of stone here,? Never again. If you don't, no waffles later. I understand. Okay. I swear to God. Well, you can have a waffle. I mean, we're not made of stone here, but no cream on top, though.

You're not having any of that stuff. It's too delicious. So, yeah, he said, I would point out, contrary to what has been said, I have never sold drugs. Never. I knew too well that a simple catch could lead to forfeiture. So, he didn't sell drugs. He was a junkie. Most junkies don't have the wherewithal to sell drugs i care about your high i care about mine

yeah that's the thing and when i'm high i'm not gonna go sell drugs right i'm high i want to relax now jesus christ it's the whole point i want to enjoy not puking right now yeah that's the thing care if you puke no it's what are we going you go on your your fucking journey and let me go on mine. Exactly. So he says February 88 is when he stopped doing heroin for now. He said he did compensate by drinking a shitload, though. I can understand. Just rather than just stopping, he would just drink until he was numb and passed out. So, you know, get the same effect, basically. I wonder what he's so mad about.

I don't know what he's running away from or if it's just he's got the addictive gene and whatever he's into, he does. Or I don't know what it is, but he seems to have some troubles and some chip on his shoulder. That's what's weird about it is like the way he treats his parents, it's almost a contempt. It's a contemptuousness for them, which is like, what did they do to you that was so bad they didn't there was no like like i said i don't know exactly but he doesn't say like well my parents abused me uh you know some priest diddled me behind the fucking they facilitated yeah it took me out yodeling and fucking gave me the old the old yodel up here gave me the old fucking uh walking cane in a bad spot you know what i'm saying like that never happened so i don't he didn't check my my yodeler manually yeah it's about the time we check your yodeler son bend over i'm gonna see where you bend over oh there you go there it is jesus christ so he would just drink a shitload he did try to

make a return to the belgian tennis circuit where you know, obviously he was he comes in and people were like, oh, it's that asshole. Now you're thinking you're fucked. So now people are kind of getting there. He's getting his comeuppance now because now he's not such hot shit anymore. And he wasn't real nice to people on the way up. And now he's on the way down. So people are like, oh, fuck you then, motherfucker. So that's kind of how it went.

He said, quote, I had dictated my law so much in tournaments that I believed I could continue to do so. This was not possible and generated exacerbated reactions in me. So I had somewhat violent behavior when deep down I hate violence. Well, yeah, you're quitting heroin. You're angry that you're something that you could do so easily. Your whole life is now not that easy anymore. Frustration. Yeah frustration yeah obviously and then there's no heroin to make it feel better so and then you're drinking a lot too which tends to make you a little unstable in the oh boy temper department and and also on your feet and on your feet a little harder to go one

two left right left right when you're a little hammered that's what i'm saying but either way this dude's an asshole like clearly like i would much rather hang out with cory dylan yeah probably even you know is bullshit aside did punch a woman in the face which makes me not really want to hang out with him you might giggle a bit with i feel like until he punches a woman that's what i mean if you take that out of it if me and cory are sitting next to each other we're gonna we're gonna bullshit yeah we're probably gonna have some fun whereas this guy i'm gonna be like you're a dick you know that monster you're a pompous twat anybody ever tell you that? We're not going to fucking get along, probably.

So he said that he was just kind of floating around, fucking up in tournaments and not being able to win like he used to. He lived in Cannes for a while there in France, and he couldn't find a job. He was looking for some sort of tennis club job basically to be like, you know, one of these pro like a country club pro or something like that. Exactly. We could like hit on married women and fucking drink champagne in the restaurant and wear white shorts around and shit.

Stay behind them in their short skirts. Yeah. This is how you do it. No, no. Here. Wait. No, you have to. I have to rub my dick on you while you follow through. That's how you do it. While you swing your backhand, I have to run my fingers up your thighs. That's how that works. See, when you're going, now follow through. Now feel that.

That's my penis. That's right. Yeah, you feel that, right? 30 love. The look in your eyes. You're so excited. Do you feel that? That is my penis.

That's my penis. Feel that muscle right here. That means that's your penis. No, that's my penis. Do you feel that rusted between your butt cheeks? Not your shoulder. Don't worry about your shoulder. I love it.

You move a little further and we're going to have insertion. No, it's going to happen. One step back. All right. Yeah. Now that one's on you. Oh, that's on you, sweetheart. I told you.

I told you about it. I warned you. Hey, listen, your mother's a Dutch prostitute, not mine. I don't know what to tell you. He doesn't find a job there in 89. He returns to Belgium and he's bummed. Super fucking bummed. And then it comes out that he's basically charged with a crime, something to do with drugs here.

And he's basically supposed to come to court, and he just doesn't. Really? He just doesn't go to court. He just goes away. Maybe they'll forget. Yeah. He said, quote,

I was afraid to introduce myself. Like, he didn't want to go to court. He was embarrassed to go to court, basically. So what he became was a fugitive at that point, which is what happens when you don't show up for court after you're arrested. You have to jump off the Hoover Dam. And then you got a problem.

Yeah, the Hoover Dam. So they look for him. There's a manhunt for him to lull around. And they catch him pretty quick. I mean, he's not like he's recognizable and he's shit-faced. Right. You know, he's out there slurring his words wearing wooden clogs playing tennis and it's not hard to find the guys i'm getting that so uh what he ends up is he finally goes to court he's caught he's

sent to saint gilla's uh jail and he finally goes to court and the judge says you sir may fuck off and he is uh gets a suspended sentence and ordered to undergo drug rehabilitation. So that's his sentence here. Get yourself cleaned up. Clean up, you fucking moron, is what they say. You're a goddamn mess. So after he is at a rehab,

one of his friends, he moves in with one of his friends, which in this French paper, they call his boyfriend, which I found, I had to go, what happened? I was like, whoa, what now?

I went back, I'm like, that's just how they say friend, who's a guy. So his boyfriend there, Jacques. Yep. Sounds like his boy, man. Very French. Jacques Grandjean.

Yeah. I can see where your confusion came from. That's what I mean. It's Jacques Grandjean, hosted by Jacques Grandjean, his boyfriend. I'm like, wait a second here. Jacques Grandjean sounds handsome. Don't get me wrong. He sounds like a very attractive man.

He sounds great. I'll give him a look. I might throw at him i don't know you know what i'm saying what i mean is though sounds like a handsome guy so and the newspaper is really playing up their relationship and well here's the next sentence too okay it's after rehab this is all i'm going to read right from the translation of the french newspaper after his rehab rehab, Baloo is hosted by Jacques Grandjean, his boyfriend. Together, they participated last week in the Double Gentlemen of Belgium tournament. Yep. Come on. How am I not supposed to think that's gay?

Nothing to do with tennis. Like, right? I don't see the word. Tennis is double gentlemen tournament championships. I feel like who can fuck each other the best, right? That's what it feels like. Sounds like they went on some drag parade next sentence by the way a huge crowd gathered around court number one a huge crowd gathered around everybody was shocked that they were doing this at a tennis match. Want to hear it get worse? Okay. They pulled out.

Almost as bad. A huge crowd gathered around court number one. Success is total despite defeat. That's fucking. One man was defeated. That's getting fucked in the ass there. So success is total despite defeat. Then he says, all of these people made me very happy. That's what he said about it when we asked about it.

So let's go over that. That's the gayest story ever. That's the gayest thing that's ever been done, ever. Like, ever. That's never been, a story like that could not have been told in a day. He left for rehab, met a man named Jacques. Jacques Grenjean, who's his boyfriend. They participated not only in public, in a tournament, a double gentleman tournament,

where they drew a large crowd around court number one. And even if you're defeated, it's success because you're really taking it in the ass. Hey, as long as he got in past the middle, you know what I mean? Is that right? Sometimes domination isn't bad. He got the head in, right? What are we talking about then? It's fine, right?

What? That's success? So, and that made him very happy. Or he made all these people very happy or whatever the fuck it was. So, Jesus Christ. But he's all fucked up after he leaves prison. He doesn't know what to do with himself. He's kind of ostracized.

Not ostracized, but nobody really gives a shit about him in tennis anymore. He has no education. He's playing tennis doing this since he was 14 15 doesn't know what to do um so basically he just drinks he's like does a shrug and goes guess i'll fucking drink a whole shitload and that's what he continues to do drink drink drink drink drink but he meets a woman as well uh he meets a woman named dominique who uh he ends up having a young daughter with named maude well i guess young when she's born because most children are hope she's

not old she's she was born 23 years old it was wild she had a degree in accounting and she was ready to hit the job market very easy kid i gotta tell you not bad i don't know how she got a driver's license in there but she pulled it it off. She's very driven this time. Female bend button. Yeah, it's amazing. So he said that, you know, that's what he was doing here, doing all of that. Now, he has some problems, though. By the way, in tennis, we'll just give his final record now, even though he might have a match or two after this.

His career singles record is 33 and 43 in, you know, major whatever, major matches. And his career singles record is 33 and 43 in you know major whatever major matches and his career doubles record is 13 and 18 in major whatever so that's still pretty good good it's better than i would do i would say so uh january 1990 is when it really fucking the wheels come off the cart here for him uh yeah this is uh okay well he has his ex his ex-wife their ex-girlfriend but he calls them his ex-parents-in-law apparently because he has two children with his old with his old girlfriend okay he's got two children with her so he still you know has to be connected to that family you're connected you pick kids up you drop kids off and shit like this. Well, apparently there was he was going over the his ex's parents house there, his in-laws. And apparently while he's there, he sees an old friend in the street.

Yeah. Okay. Who owes him 2000 Belgian francs. Okay. Okay. So he sees this guy in the street. Hey, it's this guy. So he fucking said

oh do you have my money yeah and apparently 2 000 belgian francs is not a lot of money it's not a ton so it's just you know 20 bucks or 50 bucks or something it's not like oh you have that 10 grand you owe me or something like oh yeah no obviously i don't have it on me you have that two thousand dollars right there in your pocket it's something that he could have had on him to just quickly give over here but the guy said said no, he doesn't have it, and he's not giving him shit. So what he does is the guy, apparently, who he sees in the street is with a woman that he's trying to get the money from. So what Bernard does is he grabs the purse of the woman that the guy is with says well fuck well there you go take it out i'll take it out of this then motherfucker if you want this purse back give me my goddamn

money so um apparently uh this causes some sort of physical confrontation followed by a chase uh there is a chase uh basically where the purse back no uh somehow they fight and this guy ends up running away the guy who owes him the money so bernard ends up chasing him so bernard um by the way he's got heroin on him oh no he's not doing he's not doing well right now uh he's having a bad time uh so he ends up basically with heroin on him after he stole a purse away from this lady he ends up crashing into somebody's driveway where their car there where this guy went into a house he crashes like into the driveway into the house fucking almost hurt somebody in his car in his car he does this after chasing him through the streets like a fucking maniac he fucking crashes into a thing

has heroin on him he's on heroin he's got a fucking stolen purse with him. He's only 31. Yeah, it's not good. He's 31 and it has just, the wheels have come the fuck off of shit, man. He's not even 31, for Christ's sake. This is 1990? Yeah, he's January 90. He's not even 30.

Yeah, he's 30 and a half at this point. So this is what ends up happening. So he gets arrested for this, obviously. And it's drugs uh bodily harm it's uh theft right uh all sorts of difference your motor vehicle there's he's got a slew of charges kids yeah he's got a slew of charges this is not great for him especially that he says quote i then realized that i could not go any lower and that my imprisonment was the culmination of four or five years of a psychological imbalance in which drugs played an important role.

That's very. So, you know what? Yes, that's a good. You nailed it. He thought of that in a sober time. I have a feeling that didn't come. You know what happened? No.

So he goes to court here, January 25th, 1990. He's in. It's Charleroi, Belgium. He ends up not going to court here, January 25th, 1990. He's in, it's Charleroi, Belgium. He ends up not going to court. He doesn't attend the trial. I guess there you have an option whether you want to attend or not. It's not like here where attendance is pretty mandatory. They want you to be there.

It's a good idea. It's a good idea. You should be there too. And they pretty much, if you don't show up, they're pissed about it. Yeah. They'll subpoena and everything. That's some pretty good information that you should probably be absorbing there anyway that's the other thing you should know stuff but over there they're just like you got this right to your lawyer all right

i'll be home be watching tv the game's on give me a call let me know how this works out absolutely so it's uh taking heroin assault causing a car accident and then by the way he fled the scene as well so they had to track him down a couple miles away with his fucking wheel hanging off and shit like it wasn't good offender was dragging on the ground not a good look for him so uh the judge he is convicted of all of these things and the judge says this is a good one here you sir may fuck off uh three years in prison okay three years in prison that's two years it's basically two years and eight months one year for the drugs and then uh the other one the other two years are going to be suspended those are and then two two of the years are suspended out of the three and the two of the

years are for the two assaults in the two months and then there's two months added for driving offenses so that's how they end up doing it He's going to do about 32 months in prison, basically, is what they're saying. But over there, apparently, you can just appeal. You can refuse. And then they appeal and you get a retrial. What? You can be like, nope, that one didn't go how I planned. I'd like another trial.

And they go, sure. Run it again. Run it again. And then literally two weeks later, they're having another trial for him. Like, you just had a trial. Right now? That's wild, man. So not even like an appeal to see if you should get another trial.

All right. Sure. Here, though, in the retrial, he is still sent to jail. Still, you may fuck off, but the sentence is reduced. Wow. Because he had a thing where he couldn't get out for a year uh because of the violence they said in the drugs so you together those are bad i guess i would say so you can't handle your yeah apparently if you're like violent dirt while you have drugs over there that makes it extra bad so you get like that yeah

so that's the way that works so his retrial he's still sent to prison but not for nearly as long at that point uh so yeah yeah, he's fucking... How long does he get? Well, he gets... He's supposed to do a year, but he's going to end up doing a couple of months. That's it. And he's going to end up getting out. And, you know, he's very confused.

He doesn't know what to do with himself because his life is pretty much fucked. His life is fucked now. He has no idea where he came from. He has no idea where he came from, no idea where he's going. If you listen to my story, you'd have even less idea of where the fuck he came from so yeah he's a goddamn mess he's out there wandering the streets because i mean at this point doesn't even have a car he destroyed that yeah he's making no money um i'm sure he's got an itch for some something there uh all you can do is sit and basically sit in his apartment and try not to uh try not to do drugs that's what he's trying to do at this point trying to recover and uh people

help him from time to time he has friends that come over because he still has a couple people that are willing to help him a couple of ex-tennis guys i think our guys might have like known where he was coming from like yeah i was a dick when i was 18 too yeah type of thing you know what i mean where they understand he's a person now uh one person comes over in particular uh knocks on the door and it's the mexican pimp he's shocked because it's in belgium yeah and he says how is it you've come to arrive here? Why are you here? I understand why you're in Belgium, because you are from here, obviously. But why are you here right now?

You play tennis beautiful, like a swan. This point in your life. Your mother was a beautiful, top-tier prostitute in Amsterdam. Wonderful woman. I wish I could have 10 like her. Forget it. I would retire next year. So much money I could make.

But you, you go to heroin instead. I don't understand. It's unbelievable. When you could just sell your mother. I don't understand why you would do this. Why you would not. She's clearly open to the idea. Think about it.

That's all I'm saying. I don't know. I don't know if i i don't know how it goes in belgium poof and a poof of of i don't know leopard and tequila and guns blazing he's gone yeah and uh bernard is excessively confused he's like what was that spanish i don't know what that was my mom wasn't even a prostitute fuck shoot that was that's not true you rumor spreading some bitch you cocksucker so this when he gets out of jail this is when the writer patrick come on where i told you that's the guy that this patrick come on picks him up from jail that's how they meet well no he's known him for years but he picks him up from jail because no one else picks him up from jail basically so uh yeah this

is you know he's he's in for a couple of months and uh basically they i mean he doesn't know what to do he doesn't have to stay there too long but he gets out and he's might as well be in prison it doesn't matter he says that he gets there the writer patrick he says he gets there a few minutes late and he's not at the jail anymore and they they're like, oh, no, he left already. So Patrick finds Bernard in the cafe next to the prison. What prisons have cafes next to them? First of all, seems like low clientele. What a weird because I picture cafe in Europe.

There's like a sidewalk and I'm sipping things next to a prison baguettes. And yeah, maybe their prisons don't look like ours. Maybe not. next to a prison baguettes and yeah maybe their prisons don't look like ours too maybe not they might not be like gray hulking things with barbed fucking razor wire around it probably very decorative and beautiful they might be nice yeah they might be really see photos painted on the outside just hot shit so uh yeah he's there he said he's in the cafe next to the prison he said they sit down they talk for a minute they drink a beer he's still doing that i guess and they go to the writer's house he says there they have a bite to eat together and then he

drives him home and that's how he gets him out of prison but he talks to him a whole bunch and we'll get into that here uh he says he spent time in brussels uh he was obviously in the jail there and then uh once he got out again though he said he wants to start playing tennis again now which seems kind of pointless it seems uh too late yeah it's too late 31 you're you're over the hill in tennis as it is but if you haven't been playing for a few years and been on heroin you're really over the hill you haven't kept your body in the same amount of shape uh he says quote i'm not afraid about the reaction of the crowd potier at some guy kicked off when he met his wife when he met his wife i got rid of drugs when i met my girlfriend you have people who uh you have people who help me and those who did not and those who will never have confidence

in me it's as simple as that so basically some people like me some don't what are you gonna do fuck them kind of what he said he said if i had it to be done again, I would not do anything I did during my sports career. Okay. Well, yeah. He'd change it all. Yeah, he would change everything, basically, except that childhood story. That never changed. That thing was really great.

It was good. He says that he said himself that he lacks character, and he lacked character, and therefore he's going to have a hard time kicking everything and staying clean because he says he lacks character right so he's starting to realize that he started he was on methadone uh there he says that he he gets help with that that's how he he kicks heroin and stays off heroin and it keeps him he said it's managed for a couple years to keep him off heroin doing methadone he said that uh we spent a little less than four months behind bars by there um he's got a kid he's got no money not a lot of things to do he said he's trying to

figure out a new business he doesn't know what to do he says quote after being what i had been having dominated belgian tennis for so many years it was really not easy to return to the clubs when everyone knew what I had gone through. When I was only a known sportsman, I was already looked at as if I were a curious beast. So you think a top athlete who goes through drugs in prison, it tends to stir curiosity. But it went better than I feared, except that being a former drug addict, nothing happened to happened to me if i drank too much there were rumors that i was addicted again so yeah that's but he said you know people talk but nobody was like yelling shit at him and calling him a fucking piece of shit while he was playing at the club that's too bad let's see you fucking lousy twat your mother's a whore you know that goes so a few months later here, a few months goes by,

and this Patrick Hamont guy was a tennis consultant for, I don't know what this is, RTBF. I don't know what that is, but he's a tennis consultant for that. That's the writer guy. A few months after he gets out of jail, though, Bernard calls the sports chief of this place and offers him his services instead. So he found out where this guy was after he got out of jail and talked to him. And then he's like, I'll try to take his job.

Yeah, it's pretty fucked up. So he does that. It's wild, man. He said basically, quote, what are you doing with Hamant? He doesn't know anything about tennis, whereas I really don't get any better.'s what he said like that guy's an idiot you can get me i'm much better than him so he does uh the guy gets stole his job stole stole dude's job yeah um holy shit so this guy said he took my place but not for too long because uh this is the way the guy puts it quote because bernard is as exceptional as it is unstable,

as blazing as he is inconsistent. And also he says he's selfish, an intelligent egoist, he calls himself, or he calls, this is what Patrick calls him, an egoist who can be cruel and an egoist of extreme fragility. He's very proud of himself. He's very proud of himself and very fragile.

Very fragile, he's got that right. So what he ends up doing here is uh after he leaves that job he ends up giving lessons as a lot of these guys end up doing uh tennis lessons to kids uh old people yeah you know some 60 year old lady who's just fucking newly retired wants to learn how to play tennis. That's what he's doing there. People who are rich fucktards at a country club. Shit like that, yeah. He said he feels frustrated, and he was pissed off. God damn it, Margaret! Fuck! You're dropping your shoulder!

Fucking damn it. I could fucking run her over with my car. I swear to God I could take her purse and run her over with my car. I'm not even kidding. Who's got heroin? So then, though, he said, quote, I saw a report devoted to the Fitei Lemur campaign conducted in France by Yannick Noah, that one player, to allow children from disadvantaged cities to learn tennis for free, which is awesome. They should do that more. He said, I knew Y yannick we had met six times in a tournament and i only beat him in our first game i was 14 and he was 13 i contacted him and we decided to uh together to

launch a similar action in belgium which is nice brilliant the first belgian operation of uh feet fit uh lemur will take place uh blah blah blah and some shit i can't pronounce drick show brisa boss saying then oh i don't know what the fuck that is uh three disadvantaged districts of his home city and 200 young people are expected to participate for free that's great that's fucking terrific uh the guy the hamant guy patrick he still meets with him even after the job debacle because he's also a writer. And this is an interesting. He's a fucking disaster. So why not? Yeah.

So he says he this is what he writes. He writes that in a book of what this is from. He says, as his coffee cools, he calmly rolls a cigarette talking about Bernard. And Bernard says about why he rolls his own, quote, because it costs me less. However, when I have finished paying my rent and alimony of Maude and Jean, my two children, I only have 300 euros left. In other words, I have to be careful. I'm broke as fuck. That's why I do this.

He's broke as fuck. The next step is pulling him out of ashtrays. So just be glad I'm not doing that in's big time yeah uh he says when he was at the height of his glory though he was earning all this money um you know he would get basically a belgian tournament he could put 70 000 70 000 francs in his pocket from one tournament and he would do that all the time and you know he'd get bonuses and shit like that so uh they asked him pat Patrick asked him, are you still doing heroin? And he said, quote, no, I haven't dived since 1988. But it's true that I have sometimes drunk a lot more than I should have, which I guess so.

I've switched. And there's been a lot of rumors about him there, about the fact that he's been drinking a lot and all this type of shit. He says he sometimes was giving lessons, playing at the club, but he says he's never consistent with anything. He just wasn't. His life's got very inconsistent. It's a mess. It's a mess. And then he says, quote, at the beginning of 1994, when I no longer see my daughter born in July 1990, I start reading again, which I haven't done in years.

After relearning with light books like Agatha Christie, I then turned to Oriental philosophies. I even went to see the Dalai Lama during his visit to the Buddhist center of Teheng in 1995. As I was beginning to find a meaning in my life, I founded three years later the Association to help children in difficulty. so he's talking about that but it's still he starts that with the yannick noah guy and that actually is is something basically he said that he thought it was cool that he saw the he saw like a tv thing about and he was like oh

neat cool i want to get into that and he does so uh in 2000 by the year 2000 patrick runs into him again at this point he's riding a bike because he can't afford a car wow uh yeah he's riding his So in 2000, by the year 2000, Patrick runs into him again. At this point, he's riding a bike because he can't afford a car. Yeah, he's riding his bike around. And the guy makes a point to say, like, this is a guy who had, like, the fanciest sports cars and all this crazy shit. Free. Yeah. And now he's riding a bike around.

But this is what he says. This is what Bernard says. Quote, But I don't regret anything. For 10 years, I have known heaven on earth. There was not a single cloud in the sky of my life. After that, it was different. Healthy pleasures were healthy pleasures that were mine. I have tasted others to all the others.

I don't know what the fuck that means. And then he says, quote, I, too, thought that these two activities, the nonprofit thing, would give me oxygen. Alas, in 2001, the subsidies ceased to be paid to the nonprofit organization as the government was funding it. I was in charge of and the RTBF ended my collaboration. By the way, this guy says this was due to certain comments that he said on the air. That's why they didn't do it for no reason. And his collaboration, he said something he shouldn. That's why. They didn't do it for no reason to end his collaboration. He said something he shouldn't have said, and they fired him.

What is no more? I had no house, no car. I no longer saw my daughter, my son, and, of course, I no longer had a penny. So that's where he's at in 2000. He's broke. Fucked. He's 41 and fucked out of his mind, basically. He has no money.

His kid's not allowed to see his kid. He's got no fucking job. Blew his whole career it's heroin he's a fucking disaster uh so 2002 he gets in trouble again yeah um yes apparently he's got something in belgium apparently when you owe money they'll come take some shit from you if you owe for like fines they'll just like come yeah come like it's a nice clock fuck from you if you offer like fines they'll just like come yeah come like it's a nice clock fucker yeah because you like oh fines basically so apparently he was uh he was given some sort of citation by the police and he said they offered me a financial transaction which i immediately accepted this saved me from having to end up before the criminal court again

they said you can just pay a fine and be done with it one of those uh the sum was only 30 euros that's the fine yeah remember that now this is all over 30 euros okay 30 euros and everything was settled and he was supposed to pay the fine by a certain date done and done and done see you later instead he forgets to pay the fine oh no Instead, he forgets to pay the fine. Oh, no. Forgets, refuses, whatever the fuck. Whatever it is, yeah. But what he ends up doing is he and his friend, I think a woman, on January 25th, 2000, I think it is.

Oh, no, that's later on. It's in late 99. Him and his companion return to their home in Nandrin, and there are people waiting for him there yeah there is uh a bailiff yep an officer and accompanied by his witness which is a somebody sent by the state to oversee the transaction i guess to make sure the cop doesn't steal anything or whatever the fuck i don't know that's who's at the door they're there to take something from bernard they're there to seize some shit yeah apparently this is not the first time that people have seized shit from him so he starts getting pissed off so apparently um he says fuck that and starts yelling and insulting the

bailiff who's a police officer there uh the bailiff said quote i was really shocked by these words yeah because it was like where the fuck is this coming from? And, uh, uh, yeah, Bernard then went after the, the guy standing with the bailiff and started yelling at him and all this sort of shit. Now, according to the police officer and the witness there with him, Bernard then punched this man twice in the back of the head. Oh no. He started fucking taking swings at the witness guy do that um yeah this guy who is not used to being punched and people don't punch each other as much in belgium i feel like this isn't like he's in fucking southie or some shit in boston

and he's used to hey go to a buy you get punched in the mouth once in a while this is a different case and it's a job that this guy does 30 times a day nobody takes a swing got a suit on this is ridiculous oftentimes give me a kid's bicycle or something bernard starts he gives him a couple of punches to the fucking rabbit punches to the back of the head uh this guy felled to the ground face forward in the gravel because of it he fucking jacked him twice good in the head and uh the guy fell right on his face and was injured that way um yeah so that's what the that's what everyone else said bernard has a different take on it yeah he said and this is good here quote i grabbed him by the arm to accompany him to the door that's awesome he said he didn't fall because of me he

just tripped okay so he accompanied him right grabbed him by the arm he's not an old elderly man that needs to be accompanied by the arm. So he was dragging him to the door and then decided to punch him out of it is what it sounds like to me. He's giving the same excuse that Corey Dillon would give for punching his wife. Yeah. I'm shit. I was helping her to the door. I was helping her fucking drive.

I said, left, pal. See over there to the left? She wasn't looking. He said that his behavior was exaggerated in relation to the situation. That he will admit. But he didn't punch anybody. He said, quote, I did not manage to calm down. It was not the first visit and I was getting tired of it.

He was pissed off. Prosecution asked for a sentence of six months in jail for this. And yeah, he's been sentenced before obviously so that's on his record which doesn't help him any the court finally says you sir may fuck off again four months in jail is what he gets for this uh yeah four months he said he does appeal though yeah he says quote during my appeal i will request that my prison sentence be changed to community service. I want my nonsense to serve the community. That's a fucking that's a great line.

I want my nonsense to serve the community. I love that. Whatever the number of hours, I will do them without saying anything. I still regret what happened, but it's impossible to go back. So he's like, Please don't put me in fucking jail. That's all I want. It's going to be four months of community service. Just. Yeah. So he's punching the shit out of people um he says quote i hope the court will heed my appeal

from this conviction going from a sum of 30 euros to a sentence of four months there is a famous difference but you also forgot about the punches in the back of the fucking head there so uh he gets out of jail he says he regrets his behavior he said quote i was in a bad period in my life i was in charge of the feet lamore association launched in 1996 unfortunately the financial health of the foundation was struggling it was not the usher's first visit and i was just getting tired of it he also said that he gets angry too often he said quote i reacted badly when i saw them in front of my partner's furnished home. I don't know. I don't know why it's important. It's got furniture in it.

He wants everybody to know it's not lawn chairs. She's got a couch in there. I swear to God. There's a TV and shit. Totally. I don't know why they were there since they couldn't grasp anything. In any case, I want to apologize again for my behavior. I hope that such situations will not happen again.

I mean, I hope not, too too because some guy who's just sent to watch a cop do his job gets the shit beaten out of him i feel bad for that fucking guy not to mention his kids too yeah because i mean your dad oh your dad's super famous but he's also the biggest fuck up in the history of belgium they named you maude that's too bad his name is maude terrific i mean there's a lot a lot to feel bad for there, but not nearly. Feel bad for him, but not nearly as bad as I feel for Bernard Billow. I don't know how the fuck to pronounce this. Nantes Chez Nantes in Lorraine, France. What is that?

I have no idea. Nantes Chez Nantes? Nantes Chez Nantes. I don't know. Okay, it's a baker. I guess. Bernard Billow, principal owner at The Pool Experts in the Kitchener, Canada area. They got pools in Canada?

Apparently. All right, kids, in the pool. Oh, fuck, it's cold. Out of the pool, kids. Don't dive in. It's solid fucking ice. Go do a lap and get out of there before it freezes. Let's go.

Fucking fast. Here's one. Bernard Below, just France. Oh, that's's it he is france he's in france and that's all i don't know what he does and then bernard bernard below senior director at lob law a law firm in montreal canada so yeah he could use them that's what i'm saying so when the situation became desperate he says he began to see signs uh-oh signs he said after appreciating eastern philosophy he's going to return thanks to these signs to catholicism oh and christianity he says quote i got to know jesus again you rule breaking motherfucker you're living at home

you're fucking finding god you're fucking up man you're fucking up the dalai lama failed him yeah for a non-american athlete he's really following the pattern of every american athlete he's really doing fantastic i got to know jesus again in fact i couldn't find him for years in fact after visiting eastern cultures and philosophies i started reading books on the life of jesus first of all for literary and historical interest then i learned to uh then i learned to love man it's a big step of history is okay you know what i love man of mankind as i read i as i read i saw more of the signs that presented themselves to me yeah so he's been presented like a a mandrill yeah brand new baby he's uh yeah he uh he said in 2003 he participated in the vocations march

which was something for kids uh for whatever i don't know what the fuck it is he said quote i met incredible people there including an engineer who made a very good living and who wanted to become a priest i also talked with a lot of young women very pretty who had chosen the lord as their companion some religious bullshit why are we, very pretty, who had chosen the Lord as their companion. Jesus. Some religious bullshit. Why are we saying very pretty? What does that matter? That means that they could have gotten dick. They could have done anything.

They're prettier than Dutch prostitute. I'll tell you what. But they chose the Lord as their companion. They could have been fucked by people from everywhere with $30 in their pocket. But instead. That's a very Donald Trump-esque tweet right there. It's just a weird one where you're like, what the hell is he talking about? I met a lot of people today.

Very attractive. A lot of very attractive people that are doing very good things. So he said in the evening there, he said he went for a walk and he decided to find out about possibilities available. He said, quote, I wanted to put myself at the service of the church that's all there i then learned that there were training courses in the bish uh bishorphic i guess bishorphic bishop or bishopric yep bishopric which made it possible to become a pastoral agent or parish assistant i started lessons in 2004 i passed the first three years and missed the second uh but i'm going on because i really think it's my way he says i am well aware that

when i was that that that that i was then closer to sodom and gomorrah back in the day here i lived on honor glory and money times have changed my faith is rational and reasoned i feel it from the inside and it translates differently i am neither neither Mother Teresa nor Sister Emanuel nor St. Francis de Sisi's. I know I now hope to have enough discipline and rigor for the rest of my life to be dedicated to this vocation. vocation. I know many people have a hard time believing me, but I am not asking for people to believe in me. I am not accountable to anyone, just as I have no right to hold a grudge against anyone. I always knew

that God had a plan for me, even when I was playing tennis. Today, I think I have understood what this project was, and I'm ready to follow it. I'm so nervous. He's going to do it. 2006, the writer that Patrick guy has not seen Bernard since 2006. Really?

He's been out there. There was rumors that he was dying in 2011, but he's still alive. And everything's fine? We don't know. He's 61 years old. He's out there somewhere. But he's been working with children for 20 years. Oh, no, he's in religion

religion into it i'm so up so uncomfortable that's what i mean they said he's also there's also uh there's been there's been uh rumors that he was back into drugs there's rumors that he was that he was drinking too much and there's rumors that he was very sick okay so we don't know what's going on can't get enough of bernard try heroin there you go yeah you might find him there you might find him there also you can kind of see things through his heroin there you go yeah you might find him there you might find him there also you can kind of see things through his eyes a little more if you try heroin but that my friends wowza is bernard below our our first belgian yeah and uh what a story what a story what a made so much better what a oh so much fun that was so much fun keeping a straight face for that

just enough believable details there to do that so uh yeah that is bernard if you enjoyed that i don't know how the fuck you wouldn't honestly that was pretty goddamn enjoyable if you enjoyed that let us know about it get on apple podcast that purple icon give us five stars it doesn't matter what you say also you can do it on stitcher but it helps a lot say something on there takes 30 seconds to sign in you know how long it took me to fucking translate dutch and french and german shit to figure this goddamn shit out and write a whole new story and write a goddamn yeah and i made up a guy's life too on top of it so give us five fucking stars make up your own story we don't give a shit to that head over to shut up and give me murder.com of course for all

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We can't do this without you. Thank you. Thank you, everybody, so much and all of our patreon supporters we can't do this without you thank you thank you everybody so much so much honestly we could not do any of this without you and we're just uh we're blown away by the help you give us and by the support you give us and thank you so so much for everything you do for us you're a real silver lining to this shit world i would say so yeah you guys are are the best thing about it so what uh what how do they find you and tell you that you're living a shit world, but you're a silver lining? You all know where to find me, and if you don't, then you weren't paying attention, and that's fine, too. I appreciate you.

Thank you. Where can they find you? Nowhere. Hiding. You know where I'm at. Thank you, guys. You can find me. Thank you for everything.

You guys are fucking awesome. This world is dark as shit, and without you guys and without these shows, I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am today. I really appreciate you guys giving us the opportunity to have a brighter day. We'd be miserable twats. Seriously, without this show, I would be in a loveless marriage, miserable, and fucking angry every day. So thank you guys thanks james i'd

still be a dutch prostitute so you know what i mean what are you gonna do so thank you on these ankles from those wooden shoes i mean man thank you guys for everything honestly uh we we just can't thank you enough and live from the crime and sports studios we will see you next week Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.