Crime in Sports - #225 - A Connoisseur Of Drugs & Violence - The Eloquentness of Michael "Dynamite" Dokes

Episode Date: September 15, 2020

This week, we dive back into the "brain damage sports" with a boxer who had plenty. Plenty of fights, plenty of accolades, plenty of money, plenty of brain damage, plenty of cocaine, and definitely plenty of arrests. He was an intelligent, big afro wearing, own clothes making gourmet chef, and heavyweight champ of the world, as well. But his true love was cocaine. You'll be shocked to hear what he considers "personal use", and even more shocked by his violence against women. He's a true screw up, and an instant CIS classic! Start boxing & doing cocaine while in middle school, eat a large plate of pasta before a heavyweight title match, and always say "I'm good, now" with Michael "Dynamite" Dokes!! Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder#  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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we have an insane case all right and there's a lot of it so let's get right into it here let's try not to make this three hours long let's do our best uh let's do it with michael dokes yeah you know michael dokes is No, he's a boxer. He was around for about 20 years, hence the brain damage. And it's one of the weirdest, craziest stories we've had. It's a very Mitch Bloodgreen-esque story.

And if you remember that one, everybody, it's kind of one of our classics. And we expect this to be the same. He is Michael Marshall Doakes. Nickname is Dynamite. He's Dynamite Doakes. And I love the way he announces that by the way this guy is a character to the nth degree just a character he's got a big giant afro yeah he is well spoken as fuck yeah reads the dictionary repeatedly so he has like a vocabulary and like he's just one of these guys who's like a self-educated kind of guy.

He's very interested in cuisine. I love very interested in French and Italian cuisine. He likes to prepare it as well as eat out of fine restaurants. He makes his own clothes, as we'll talk about. Crazy shit, too. He always has like a pimp hat on and he makes crazy wild suits and shit for himself, makes his own ring attire. What?

He comes to the ring. When the man comes to the ring, from the time he was an amateur, he comes in with an arm full of roses and hands them out to the ladies at ringside. Genius. He's a fucking hilarious guy. Holy shit, let's get into this if that doesn't

get you get you wet for it i don't know what is going to he's a boxer who's a seamstress he's insane and the crimes he did bonkers he's just crazy he's born install this whole mess started on august 10th 1958 he's born in akron ohio, and his dad was an amateur boxer. So that's where the boxing comes from. He had an uncle that boxed a little, too, but his dad was like a good amateur, but then had kids and had to actually make money. So you know how that goes. Before LeBron, he must have been the Akron kid. Kind of, yeah.

For a while. For a little while. And then Grace. And then we don't know him. We'll find out at the end when somebody wants to honor him and they're like i don't know if we really want to honor what's going on here so uh his dad worked at a tire company okay and uh his mom his dad's name is gordon his mom's name is sapora uh sapora was a housekeeper she's like a domestic all over the place uh he has three brothers and a sister

he's the second oldest so a lot of uh you know decent sized family his mom is from the south his mom is from birmingham alabama and she smartly got the fuck out of there in the 40s which as soon as she could as a teenager it's not gonna get better for a while i'm still still i'm tapping my watch right now i don't know if you guys can see this but it's not gonna get better for a while i'm still still i'm tapping my watch right now i don't know if you guys can see this but it's pretty much the same now as it was then if you've been to alabama so um sorry alabama but you know what i'm not sorry getting the fucking 20 at least the 20th century they know 21st i mean i know we're pushing it here but pushing at least the late 20th century if you can get up to the 80s yeah i'll i'm good i'll take

that for now i'm not saying you guys have to be like you know of today and that sort of thing but just you know fat uh gold rope yeah and and a track suit and we'll be good with you that's fine pull your head slightly out of your ass not all the way just enough one so you can see one one eye just take a peek around you once in a while, and you can put it back up there. We get that you enjoy it. It's fine. So she moved down there, and she graduated from high school in Akron, from South High School in 1950. And then five years later, 1955, married Gordon.

They had one child, and then they had little Michael. And Michael says, as he puts it, puts it quote and boy is he a fucking quote machine this guy oh boy oh boy he likes to talk and it's hilarious everything he says quote i've always been blessed from birth i've been blessed blessed blessed yeah and he said that with a big shit-eating grin on his face while he was boxing uh he got into boxing he says quote i can remember my father bought me a pair of boxing gloves when i was six or seven i had fights in school and after school like any other kid but i was no bully you're six how many fights are you getting into by six and a lot apparently

maybe he's solving problems fighting the bully i don't know what he's doing but he's fighting a lot but i was no bully i was no bully i don't know what the hell is going on said my mother always taught me to try to walk around a fight that didn't make any that it didn't make any sense to let yourself get involved in a fight anyway one day i think it was a sunday three or four years later my father took me into jimmy rice's gymnasium also i remember a time my father was sparring around with me in my mother's basement and he punched me in the head we went back down there to the basement about six months later and i punched him in the head he stopped took the gloves off and we never sparred again we were always a physical family you'd had enough he said oh that's you're too big to fight with now

that's enough of that that one stung a little bit that one stung yeah so that's that i when you you and dad put the boxing gloves on to go down and whack the shit out of each other in the basement i would call it a physical family it's a good way to put it and you've trained a weapon and then you're gonna fight it how tough do you think you are i mean he's an amateur boxer he's like i'm gonna show him the ropes and then it was like oh shit all right you hit a little too hard for me and uh you might be a little fast he says my cousin dickie lester was a fighter too i think i'd been a boxer about a year and we were sparring he hit me with a heck of a right hand i had this personal thing about getting even so i got back

at him too so yeah he's him and his family or this is a boxing family this guy's been getting hit in the head since he was six and competitive and competitively yeah they're very competitive and he is he's extremely competitive that's the thing's weird. A lot of guys like seem to these boxers that kind of go off on their own. They seem to completely not care about boxing anymore. But he never really loses that. He always is really into fighting. But he also really likes cocaine. So it's like he tries to at one point he tries to meld the two and make it work.

Well, he's trying to decipher. And it's hilarious. Is boxing supporting the cocaine or is the cocaine supporting the boxing? Yeah. And I think it's funny. At one point, he's like, I can marry these. I can make this work. Like, he didn't.

Yeah. Whereas most people think like, okay, I know I'm fucking my boxing career up, but I really like this coke. Yeah. But they have that kind of thought. But he's not doing that at all. He's like, no, no, no. This is going to work out. Yeah. I can do do it he's too smart for his own good is the

problem too my muscle milk yeah um now his trainer rice there he says that he remembers the day when the father brought him in there and brought michael in he says quote michael's father fought for me and don hale and he brought michael to me for the first time michael was about 14 weighed maybe 145 pounds and his father brought him into the gym and uh yeah that was that he ends up being a heavyweight as we'll talk about he fights around 215 for a while yeah and then uh oh boy does he swell up as we'll talk about his weight is going to be a character in this show his later days fighting weights are like one day he's 220 next day he's 290 like holy shit he's just 70 pounds wow it's huge swings of weight where you're like dude what are you fucking doing that's awesome it's insanity that's coke and food i'll eat a lot and not do

coke and then i won't eat at all and do all sorts of coke so it's it's fucked up uh he says he loved boxing immediately like probably because it was in his family i think if your dad takes you down and that's like what you remember that's probably going to be your sport of choice he says quote i tried all sports football baseball basketball track and of course boxing i was involved with the golden gloves when i was 13 i had a one in two records uh records some of my friends still kid me about that. He's talking about later on when he's a pro. He says, nevertheless, I tried the other sports. An inner voice kept speaking to me, kept telling me I should be a boxer.

So when I was 17, after I finished high school, I became a professional. And we'll talk about all of his little bit of his amateur thing here. I've got no inner voice. When I was 15, I had no inner. No, you're going to do this. I don't know what the fuck I was going to do. My inner voice today says was 15 i had no inner no you're gonna do this i don't know what the fuck i was gonna do inner voice today says one more beer's all right one more beer my inner voice knows 15 was like you can jerk off before you have to leave or you can you know you can smoke weed without getting caught yeah it's fine that's all so at 15 they talk about

him in sports illustrated because he's an up-and-coming amateur and uh he gets quoted in sports illustrated when he's 15 and with comparisons to muhammad ali oh by everybody he's a very quick-handed he's not a he doesn't dance as much as ali but he's a very quick kind of smooth heavyweight that's not a real hard hitter he's a guy that wears you down like ali's the same type of ali's not a one-punch knockout guy for the most part he combination guy so what's with what dokes does what's with akron going uh you're pretty good at this maybe you're better than i don't know the greatest greatest ever yeah i don't know i think it's ohio i really like doing that you have nothing ohio and you're like when we have something i know it's the greatest no we've all had great things calm

down hey ohio sometimes we all have great things doesn't mean they're the great test right you might maybe to you just be proud of it which is fine be proud of it don't you're not still not and we'll find out the difference between his career and muhammad ali's here in a while he says when he's 15 quote what i am and he's kind of got a smirk on his face they're saying the whole time he's like a wise ass-ass teenager. What I am is Mr. D. That's me. I call myself Dynamite Dokes. Dino-mite.

Because it's 75. It's the peak of good times. J.J. Walker is in his ear. Dino-mite. Yeah, that's what he says. When I'm moving and grooving, there ain't nobody in the world who can touch me. Speed? They ain't seen nothing.

My hands are so fast, they can't catch them on film. I can hit a guy three times, and all he can think is somebody snuck up behind him i told muhammad ali i'm gonna get you old man so you better get out while you can old man already he's smiling he's doing a muhammad ali promo muhammad ali's like what 28 30 hey you little shithead kid his shit he's in the peak of his thing but this is fucking funny because he this is a wrestling promo is what he just cut or muhammad ali promo which muhammad ali cut wrestling promos because he was a huge fan of gorgeous george okay and he liked wrestling promos that's why muhammad ali talked like that everyone was like what is he doing he's being a wrestler yeah he thought that

was cool exactly what he was that's what he was doing he's doing a wrestling promo just like the wrestlers and that's what dynamite dokes is doing as well because he is obsessed with wrestling also and repeatedly wants to be a wrestler and later on will try to be a wrestler um so he he's very much into being doing like a promo for wrestling which is that's great ridiculous and wonderful for us because we get lots of good quotes um they said that he's just always kind of a smile on his face, never serious, like to the press and shit like that. Kind of like an Ali type of thing. He says, they say I idolize Ali. That's not true.

The only person I ever idolized was Tap Harris by Stepbrother. He was a great fighter and he'd be a champion now, except he got a bad break three years ago. Got sent to the joint. He killed a person. Not a bad break. He fucking killed a guy. Jesus. The guy he killed got a bad break.

He got a bad break, man. I mean, just kill the guy. You kill one guy. He says, except he got a bad break, got sent to the joint, killed a person. That's why I'm going to be champion. Okay? Then I'll have the bread to try and help tap. And I'm just lucky that i'm a great fighter so it will happen he speaks so great he's amazing i will not move in and groove in that's amazing some bread i need to get some

bread it's 75 so this is awesome i just want the whole show to take place in 1975 so everybody can talk like jimmy walker he talks like like the bad guy from greece yeah he talks like he came over to their house on good times he asked you know florida can make him something and i love john amos tell me tell me john amos isn't the best tv dad ever yeah he's a to me that's the guy like he's there yeah he's solid there's i don't know al bundy is my favorite tv dad john amos was a better dad he makes me feel like i meant in reality yeah and laughter wise john amos wasn't funny he was like that he was funny when he'd scare the shit out of the kids that was the funny part but he's not an al bundy the comedic center of the show or anything so i get what you're saying yeah al bundy felt realistic i was like oh worthless guy i know

that guy hey look at that guy i know him very well my dad loves that show oh he loved it really i just loved al bundy he's like oh i'm miserable too like that's he would laugh and he had that was the tone in his voice like ah you son of a bitch. I'd love to suck start my shotgun, too. Join the club, Al. Yeah, like, you know, he hated his job or whatever 30 years ago. I don't know. I mean, your dad still had better jobs than Al Bundy's. That's a shit job. He just hated it, though. He didn't have to deal, put shoes on.

Shoes on. What he called fat women every week. Fat woman came into the store today. Peg, he'd come in. Every time he'd come in the door from work, fat woman into the store today peg she blocked out the sun she's like some crazy horrible line so feet smell so bad my nose hairs are permed my nose is permed yeah i gotta love a show when a punch line is a toilet flush that's the punchline there it is and flush and kelly walks out of the bathroom yeah what why is this hey there's tits that's that was the show look at bud he's small

isn't that funny poor bass he's a tiny loser look at that that's a whole career he's not getting any pussy just about tugging in his room and being tiny trying to get laid just pent up i love his web series though the the uh starving it's recent it's from 10 years ago probably not having any work it's about it's i don't know how true it is because i think they they did okay on the syndication and shit on that but he the show is basically he's a loser he has no money and he's him yeah he can't get hired everyone's like oh it's bud bundy and like no one will hire him and like everybody laughs at him and him and cora nemick who was parker lewis can't lose remember oh yeah holy shit redheaded guy yeah him and Cora. I think he played a serial killer

at one point, Cora Nemec, too, in a movie. But him and Cora Nemec are like best friends and they're both losers that can't get anything accomplished so they have all these little schemes. They're like 12 minutes long, these webisodes. At one point, he goes to Ed O'Neill to have lunch with him

and he's like, oh, whatever. And Ed's like, I'm not giving you any fucking money. You know that, right? You're not my real son. It's a fucking TV show. I was like, okay, I'm sorry like it's really funny though it's good shit it's just them being losers the whole time i'm into it it's great embracing it so michael is a great athlete too he's a terrific athlete he's fast he's he can they every coach in high school wanted him to play every sport like he was highly recruited all he wanted to do was box he ran the 115.1 or was it 15 or 10 shit i messed it up here might have been 10.1

seconds on the 100 which is that's pretty good terrific that's that's great wait there's no way to that on i don't know that's on 100 meters on 100 yeah like the 100 yard dash like as far as yeah well if you're 40 you can do in four or five and i guess you meet we'll get more speed up i don't know how it works yeah either way um he also starts doing drugs at this time hell yeah while he's in the midst of this athletic rise which is not normal for our guys usually our guys start once they get like fame and fortune but he's in sports illustrated at 15 and it goes right to his head so awesome in that way he said quote i've been using drugs since i was 15 since the sports illustrator i started with cocaine started start who starts with cocaine that is not your first drug no never as you start with beer and then you move on to

like weed and stuff if you're one of those progressive progressing people where you're like i want to get even more wasted then you move on to harder stuff you don't start with cocaine where do you go from there and you're snorting lines weird not a drinker no snorting lines so he said uh the first time i really got into coke was when i went to new york he said i remember i bought a quarter ounce and did it the whole way back to akron. I was just 14. Wow. What? That's a lot.

That's a shitload of coke, especially in 1974. Did he walk back? In 1972. All the way back? I think that's what it was. He moonwalked all the way back, but not even on the ground, floating. I think he just did it in the air, which made him look really smooth. Jesus.

That better not have been a plane flight, because that's a lot of coke to do at once. I think it was it's a drive it's a long drive and you can do a on a wow a quarter ounce of cocaine in the early 70s is like that's a it's a lot that what that was like coke was like a oh you do a little tiny bit and it's you know it was rare through your day it was a rare thing yeah this guy's doing all of it that was 14 he said after that i never really stopped i was just naturally gifted though and managed to box well no matter what happened away from the ring and a lot did happen you name it i did it i partied with the prettiest girls in the world bathed in champagne and got cocaine by the kilos i snorted it drank it smoked it wow so yeah he is drank it looks champagne i assume yeah good lord, yeah, he is. Drank it? Looks champagne, I assume.

Yeah. Good Lord, man. And he snorted the girls, I guess. Prettiest girls bathed in champagne and cocaine by the kilos. Sounds like he smoked the girls. I think he smoked. Well, he might have smoked the girls, snorted the coke, or he might have been freebasing. We don't know. Either way, as an amateur, he has 154 amateur fights.

That's in addition to getting punched in the head by his dad in the basement since he was six and then he's going to have about 60 pro fights so the amount of times this man's been hit in the fucking head mixed with the amount of drugs he did he by the end of it all maybe at the end of his career had eight nine brain cells left sort of and doesn't feel a staggering around a room together bumping into each other. Like, it's a mess. He's like Ajax and Deadpool. I don't even feel a thing now.

No, he's dead inside, outside. Who the fuck knows? So in 1974, he was the Golden Gloves light heavyweight finalist. And also the AAU light heavyweight finalist, where he lost to Leon Spinks, who later beat Muhammad Ali. So he was a very accomplished amateur at that time, too, Leon Spinks. He was the 1974 North American light heavyweight champion at one point as an amateur here. His childhood, though, he said that he did do a lot of dumb shit while he was doing all of this. He says, quote, I was fortunate.

I got away with a lot. People are doing time. People are dead for doing the things that I did. He said that he was associated with gamblers, quote, unquote, which means he was probably collecting money for gamblers. He's a bookie. He's doing a rocky thing. Oh, just picking it up. Yeah, he's a boxer.

Yeah. So they send a guy who's you know he's six foot three he's 200 pounds right he knows how to fight and they send him there and they're giving up the money if he shows up yeah and just says your your money's due you pay it that's what i mean look for the beginning of rocky is rocky going around collecting money because that's what that's the mob guys used to do they'd have local schlub boxers who were tougher than anybody on the street and they'd have them go around and fucking do it so it makes a lot of sense he says quote where there's gambling there's money and where there is money there are disputes yeah it all makes sense so that's the

type of shit he's doing as a kid though he's running the streets and collecting money and doing quarter ounces of coke when he's 14 and it's a pretty fucking wild childhood dude awesome life there's a lot he's got going on in 1975 he's the national aau heavyweight champion 1975 pan-american games heavyweight silver medalist also um yeah he fought one guy who was uh this guy cochran and he was a he's an army veteran and he's a bigger guy as well a much bigger guy than uh than dokes is so he said this is what happened cochran said quote i'm from the army he says we know about you and they sent me here to cut you down to a midget that's what he told dokes he said that to his face he said that to his face to a teenager's face uh the army sent me the army sent me your government tax dollars have been doled out so i can come here and whoop your ass.

Yeah. That's a lot to say. That's intimidating. That's intimidating. Well, not to Doakes. No. He says, quote, listen, I'm going to whip you so bad they're going to have to give you a medical discharge, is what he said. So the guy laughed, and that was while they were getting their instructions.

And Doakes knocked him out in 20 seconds. He did it. So medical discharge there. So he also beat Trevor Burbick, who at the time was an 0-1 amateur fighter. So he beat Trevor Burbick in his second fight total. And Trevor Burbick went on to have a fantastic career. And a crime and sports episode. He was murdered by his nephew.

This is a wild episode. You should check that one out. The worst. it's in the 60s of our episode numbers uh also fought tony tubs as well who was a one and oh at the time so these guys who are around forever he's fighting when they were just barely coming up he's the 1975 national aau heavyweight champion and um yeah his coach said quote he'd be a lot better off if he would stop telling if people would stop telling him how great he is. Right now, he's a good fighter, a little lazy with a lot of promise, but nothing is going to happen unless he gets his body and head together. There's a lot of good fighters waiting to get at him, including Teofilo Stevenson, that big, tough Cuban Olympic champion. Telling jokes how great he is isn't

going to help him stop stevenson's right hand yeah foreshadowing for the children of 2020 yeah your kid's not that fucking great everyone stop your kid's not that great they shouldn't think they're that great right remember when you were a kid and you thought you were a piece of shit because you didn't know how to do anything and you were a loser right they don't think like that anymore now they're like i can do anything because they can do things that they're and their parents are like i can't do that show me i blame movies maybe oh you're saying technology everything but that's been since the beginning of time maybe so parents now everything's technology i'm sure i showed my parents how to use a fucking vcr or something who knows how to set the clock yeah

you know what i'm saying but like i don't know dude that's a that's a week you almost need your kid to show you how to drive your tesla today yeah kind of i i don't know man i blame movies though i really do i think it's movies every kid movie now is about how great the child is the kids are all like what are like bond villain geniuses all of them yeah they know how to do crazy and not only technological things but they have these plans and they come up with the shit and all that. And the adults are just like, what happened? And they like step on a rake and it hits them in the face. Like, what the fuck is that?

Why do we got to make the parents so dumb all the time? Well, it's just when the kids get, I think, an overinflated view of themselves as compared to their parents. Whereas movies when we were kids were like, ah, fuck, I'm in trouble because I did some stupid shit and my mom yelled at me. And the mom's not an idiot and she catches him doing shit and the kid's sitting out back he's 12 he's sitting like on the roof outside of his bedroom window smoking a cigarette being like ah my mom's breaking my fucking balls what am i gonna do let's go find

a dead body okay now the kids have like a you know a fucking multinational conspiracy or something to i don't know what's going on and the kids in these movies are doled out as heroes where like in like honey i shrunk the kids those kids were fucking assholes and a lot of trouble when they got big well look at the goonies yeah they're just like well let's go down that hole i guess like that was a fucking adventure you know idiots idiots they were dumb idiots making fun of each other now they're all very supportive of each other and this one helps this one and they're all a group like you know oceans 11 they all have a special talent for whatever scheme they're on no right dumb kids this one's dumb that one's a pervert this one smokes that one's that's the personalities you give kids watch the

end of the movie when it shows what they did later you know what i mean that's the good stuff exactly sandlot watching them all just grow up to be nothing that's what you are that's what you will you will that's what you are now you're gonna be nothing nothing because you're nothing because you are nothing just like we were nothing and are nothing it's the same thing you're not gonna be shit just like we weren't you're great yeah i knew i was terrible as a young person and still do i think it's helpful it's healthy it's healthy it's worked for me so far self-realization now michael disagrees with this though he says hey hey lazy me yeah come on now i got work ethic i got work ethic i've been reading the dictionary i know what's up he says quote there's no more dedicated fighter than i am

clearly he says i know what i am and just where i'm going and i know the right way to get there i'm going to be heavyweight champion of the world and i'll work just as hard as i have to not i'll work the hardest i can i'll go right up to the edge and that's all i have to do is that good enough fine but i don't want uh anybody to think i want to be world champion just for the money i don't want to be a millionaire i just want to be able to live like one yeah wait no you want to be a millionaire you fucking better be i just want don king to make me think i am until i check my bank account so i just want to live like one no no he said that he made good money even as an amateur that they couldn't pay the guys quote unquote but what they would do is they just have them

sell tickets and get a percentage that's how it works it was like a bringer show but for him he was a local attraction so you know he's in sports illustrated he could sell a lot of tickets he'd make good money yeah selling his promotive uh you know his lot of tickets how mad would you be if that's how comedy works that would be these fucking assholes that are terrible just bringing the audience bringing the you're doing great well that's how shit comedy works it's like the lower levels work they don't get paid no no no no they're just like great good job thanks for getting us our two drink minimum asshole out of a hundred so will i get booked no jesus bye that's yeah yeah the next open mic that you can bring a show yeah it was in a month that is the

worst hustle. Oh boy. Like fucking either of us ever fell into that. Oh, luckily we were good enough at from the beginning to not have to have to patronize. Yeah. Nobody tried to hustle us because they were like, oh, they're actually getting book places. Damn it. That's working.

Can't hustle them. Yeah. So anyway, he says, he says, if I sold tickets, I got a percentage. The promoters didn't call it money they called it gifts sounds like a gift um so yeah he says by though then though he's a casual user of coke he uses coke whenever it's around this is 15 he's still in high school by the way during all this he's collecting money doing coke fighting 154 fights all while he's in high school getting amazing gifts it's what and he had decent

grades too like i don't know how he was doing all this here he was very much his favorite subject home ec really he was the first boy to be allowed to take home ec and he had to like he had to like push for it and the teacher had to ask and uh yep they wanted to make sure that he didn't want to just be in there to meet girls well so you let more boys in and that won't be a thing that won't be well yeah exactly so the wait is over so far you're not losing the only thing you're losing is my patience quickly i see that the queen of the courtroom is back i didn't do anything you wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone. Okay, so. This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother.

That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season. It's streaming.

You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. Judy Justice, only Smartless Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'd learn that that's the sciency term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink rollercoaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.

But they back then, this is the 70s still. whole ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. wants to cook who gives a fuck what do you care they forced me to do it do what oh home ec yeah we had to do i had to do home ec yeah we had to take in seventh grade and i was so bad at it i'm decent at cooking so i liked it i i love cooking and i just was bad at that one they made me cook shit i didn't cook pretzels what oh yeah i don't we had to cook like a cake you know the thing about it though i was just in there to meet girls that's the thing though that was the problem because i really was not that i had a choice to take the class but there's a lot of girls in there and you're not at a desk you're like up working in teams it's a very good opportunity to meet girls when you're 12 you know what i mean so uh his high school at home ec teacher uh mrs eula morant she says that uh quote boys weren't allowed to take uh home ec at the time but i asked the principal if michael could be admitted to the class the principal wanted to be sure he wasn if Michael could be admitted to the class.

The principal wanted to be sure he wasn't going to be there just to meet girls. I was able to convince him Michael really wanted to work in the class. And she says, quote, as a student, he was excellent, better in clothing than food, though. More than anything else, he liked making clothes.

He liked nice things. The first time he made a pair of slacks, he had a tailor make him a sport coat to go with them what yeah this dude is not a normal while he's collecting debts doing coke and fighting 154 fights he's got a lot of energy he's busy that's why he does coke probably needs the energy yeah he says uh michael liked him she says michael liked to make his clothes tight fitting to show off his muscles i suppose there was a citywide fashion show and i thought he stole the show with

those slacks they were peach colored okay so yeah nice okay he's already flashy oh and he made him and he made him so that's exactly what he wanted then she said the second time he won for making a three-piece outfit a citywide fashion show he wins that's incredible hold on i got a wait i got a boxing match tonight a heavyweight boxing match then i got my fashion show the next night i gotta sew this blouse together i'm gonna collect some debts after that hold on wait i gotta you sew that i gotta go collect money from al down the street suit is vest jacket pants or vest jacket pants yeah yeah shirt doesn't they assume you're gonna wear a shirt you usually do they just assume they don't count the underwear either so they just assume you have socks kind of a seven ensemble if you count the socks it really is hey i got a seven piece over here give me one of them seven piece

suits that's how i'd love to do that yeah i would love to walk into some place like a nice place and just be like how you doing yeah you know what i want i need a seven i need a nice suit all right oh what are you looking for something get the fuck out of here three pieces tree you look like some kind of a some kind of a cheapskate i'm broke you think i'm some kind of a fucking bum i want the give me a seven piece the full seven piece suit excuse me sir the underwear and the shirt what kind of fucking joint is this they don't hold on a little bit i looked at ring ring yeah i looked at the sign outside it says your fucking suit store right you know what the fuck i'm talking about i need the whole thing the whole fucking thing you can make me walk around no fucking socks on like some kind of fucking hobo

hell out of here with that he made a vest he made everything yeah he made it all she said he made a three-piece outfit pants shirt vest coat he made it all he made the whole fucking thing uh michael always wanted to work from his own designs give him a pattern and he'd change it so he wasn't even like cutting and pasting he had his own creative like thing with clothes which is we've never had that in any of our athletes especially our any of our boxers it's not a normal thing here he says quote mrs morant fought right along with me but it wasn't like i was an incompetent and why and why not do something i enjoyed rather than taking auto mechanics so i could be a grease monkey he says winning that fashion show that was very very

inspirational to succeed in something i had been counted out in it encouraged other guys to try it yeah that's good and then plus if he's like a tough guy yeah that's what you need you need guys like that to do shit like that because if if he does it back then people are gonna be like girl he's a homo but i'm not gonna call him a homo he'll kick your fucking ass so that's the type of guy that he has to do stuff like that. The big jock. Yeah. The big alpha male. Yeah, that's what I mean.

We need like, and that would help sports in general. We need like J.J. Watt to take one for the team and suck a dick. You know what I mean? Somebody like that. Somebody like one of these real manly, like, you know, fucking, I drive my truck with my flag on it kind of guys and just be like, I suck dick and I suck it hard. Got a fucking problem with that? The rewards at the end. Yeah, that's right. my truck with my flag on it kind of guys and just be like i suck dick and i suck it hard got a fucking problem with that the rewards at the end yeah that's right it's a warmth that comes over my whole face so i'm saying that that's what the sports would need to make it more people could

come out more if if it wasn't like a seventh round draft pick linebacker that says they're gay, but a star who's known as like this. I'm a manly guy. And he's like, yeah, I suck dick. You got a problem with that? Right. Think you could cake me just because I suck a dick every once in a while? God damn it. Watch this homo beat your ass.

I will rape you. Somebody like that. Really? Damn. All right. My will. Shit. Never mind.

Fuck. And people would shut the fuck up after that. They so i don't know i guess maybe i could be wrong in a perfect world in a perfect world come on jj watt suck a dick i mean honestly yeah think of all the good it would come that would come from that let's start a campaign he does have a giant heart suck a dick jj watt campaign that guy might do it it. He might. He's such a good guy. That's why I picked him because he's a good guy. He cares about people.

He seems to care about social issues and stuff like that. He rebuilt Houston by himself. He drove around in his truck from house to house with his hammer and his toolbox.

Putting up siding. Putting up house. That's what he does. Just erect him. So that's way harder than sucking a dick. I would think so. You know what I mean?

People suck dick all over the place. They don't rebuild cities. But tonight, so many people are harder than sucking a dick i would think you know what i mean people suck dick all over the place they don't rebuild cities but every tonight so many people are going to be sucking dick all over the country how many cities are going to be rebuilt you know what i'm saying a lot of it not very well go out there yeah that's what i mean and he that's the other thing too he wants to be good at shit right so like him and ray lewis should really i think one juggle the balls the other one get the shaft like They're the toughest guys of the last. Yeah, commit to that shit. Don't do it reluctantly.

No. I want Ray Lewis to be like, this is the best dick I ever had. And just be like, yeah. And JJ's like, I know what you're saying. And they give each other a pound and then go back and work the shaft. JJ's saying, I wanted to agree with you, but he was almost there. I had to wait. I had to wait. I had to wait.

Hold on a minute. I was very close. I know my response was late. It's close. He was close. So I'm trying to be a nice guy. Yeah. He says,

I was a very busy student, Michael says. Well, no shit. I guess I was somewhere between an A and a B, a B and a C student. I didn't get articulate until just after high school.

And at that time, I was just into succeeding. I was always hustling something. At the same time, I was becoming an outstanding amateur boxer. I haven't played another sport since I was 12. But in boxing, I've got a PhD there. Oh, boy. He says, most of the students were very cordial with me because they knew I was captivated with success.

What a weird sentence. Students were very cordial with me because they knew I was captivated with success. What a weird sentence. Students were very cordial with me because they knew I was captivated with success. Hey, that Michael's captivated with success, isn't he? That's the guy that reads the dictionary. He's captivated. I'm going to stick by him. I'm going to be more cordial to him because of his captivation with success. He says, I was...

I'm 39 and dumb. I almost said captivization. Captivization. I have a cap of captivization. Success. He's capsized with success. It's turned him right over. Oh, boy, I'm dumb.

Oh, man. He says, I was always precocious, hanging out with older people. Hey, I was thinking about buying a house when I was in high school. I was living on my own in the 10th grade. I was a busy guy he's already paying his own bills i think so i don't know where he why how he finds time to do it but i just sit him picture him sitting at the dining room table the ladding machine jesus christ green c3 visor the electric bill is ridiculous this month throwing it across the room god damn it who's leaving the lights i wish i had some kids to yell at but I'm only 15.

Shit. You son of a bitch there. I did it. I yelled at myself. He says, some of my friends studied auto mechanics, but that never interested me. I didn't want to know how to fix a car. I wanted to know how to make clothes for myself. Fair enough.

So he's the 76 Golden Gloves heavyweight champion, beating John Tate and Greg Page in the tournament, which is they're both bigger heavyweights later on greg page is a very you know very prominent heavyweight at one point in the 76 olympic trials he's a semi-finalist and loses a decision to john tate the same guy he beat in the golden gloves tournament right so he lost he lost out on going to the to the olympics because of that so he said fuck it going pro then and goes from there when he's 17 he says my mother has been my guiding hand dad worked for general tire uh then he's after he retires he says he's not retired what do you call it when they do away with your job oh so yeah been

made redundant yeah i think the plan ended up closing down was the problem that's a good company yeah that's where he worked for a long time. Mother hates that he wants to be a boxer. Hates everything about it. Even when he's successful, she's like, I wish he'd find something else to do. It's crazy. Find a trade and stick with it, and maybe they'll shut the factory down, and then you're out of work when you're 40. That's much better.

Then you can come clean houses with me. It'll be great. She says, as his career went on, I started to pray over the matter of him being in the boxing game. I decided if it's God's will, what else could I do but accept it? It's still very hard to watch him fight. I saw most of his amateur fights, but I've only seen three of his pro fights. This is later on. I only go when he asks.

I try to stay in my bounds. He says, I resent the part of one of these days we're going to be rich because of Michael, and that we're going to move because we're wealthy. Money is not the whole answer. I'm not worried about money. I don't think about it. We've had enough. I work as a household domestic, and his father has worked as a family.

I try to keep in mind it's a question of the good things we have had together. It's not a question of having more. You'd rather have your children in good health. His mom wants nothing from him. His parents are like, no, we're not rich, but we survive and we don't need help from anybody. That's how his parents are. They're real proud and old school people, as we'll talk about later on when he's doing very, very well. They're like, we have a 10-year-old car.

It's weird. His pro debut is he's 220 pounds. we'll keep track of the weight here it's in october 15th 1976 in pembroke pines florida he fights al thunder bird oh jesus albert no that's terrible that is awful albert you should be ashamed lord albert is one in five coming, and he finishes his career at 3-16. So, not too great. This is stopped in the second round here for a win for Michael to lead off. Right. January 16th, 1970, he fights aboard the USS Lexington in Pensacola.

Awesome. That's pretty cool for your second pro fight. You're fighting on a battleship. Or a carrier. Or a carrier, whatever the fuck it is. I think it's a carrier destroyer battleship carrier doesn't matter it's a big ass i don't know i don't know which one does it have four pegs three or two i don't know how many pegs is this one right that's all i know about fucking ships that's it how many spots how many pegs go in how many hits does it take to sink this bitch that's all i need to know he fights sergio rodriguez who's five and

seven five seven and one coming in this is a tko so two and oh the end of the month in january two weeks later he's fighting again the fountain blue hotel in miami beach pretty cool spots he's getting here he fights dave doc wilson who is uh three and oh at the, but ends his career at 6-6. So no big deal here. Yeah, unanimous decision win for Michael. He's 3-0. March 6, 1977, for his fourth fight, they go to the Marion County Institution in Marion, Ohio. Is he going to fight all of them?

I think it's just him versus Cell Block D. That's awesome. I believe that's it. They're going to let them out, which this was the time where they were booking boxing shows in prison, as we know from the James Scott episode. And he was fighting in a prison. So, yeah, he fights Charlie Big Tuna Jordan. That's a great nickname.

Big Tuna. Yeah. Okay. Big Tuna for his career is total finishes 14, 48, and 2. The end of his career, he went 1 and 28 to end his career the last 29 fights of his career he went 1 and 28 wow that's wild dude think about that think about that he was 13 and fucking what 13 and 20 yeah and then he was like i'll keep fighting and it wasn't going well before no he's 13 and 20

then it really went bad then it got way worse this is a tko pretty quick for michael he's up to four and oh next uh april 10th 77 at the fountain blue he fights ed the savage turner who is uh yeah 18 and seven coming in he wins it on points michael does and uh this is like he said he's got his handmade ring gear right he's coming handing out the roses is, like I said, he's got his handmade ring gear. He's coming handing out the roses. He's already doing it. Oh, he did it from the amateur days. Yeah, he would invest in buying an arm full of roses because it gave him publicity.

Great idea. He realized boxing is no different than wrestling. How well you box is great and all, but people have to want to see you and want to pay to see you. That's how you make money. And he right that's that's it period uh so march 3rd is 78 he's in venezuela he fights moon the moon port mauler george holden the moon port mauler moon port mauler oh there's a place yeah that's where he's from but the moon port mauler sounds like he's from the 20s yeah and you know he's like a a guy with a bindle that came out of a box car and he's like i'm ready to fight now or he comes in a space suit yeah or one of the two let me get my three bits first and then

i'll go out there and fight but i'd need my money up front moon port moon port george holden uh 15 31 and 3 coming in so a journeyman let's just say this is a knockout win for michael he's six and oh uh he's not your typical typical guy running the streets though he goes out and parties he likes all the ladies he likes the cocaine he likes flashy shit but he also likes hanging out with old people he enjoys hanging out with the elderly as well i mean depending on how old they are there are some good stories there. Yeah. Well, they're in their 80s, and he enjoys these people in their 70s.

He's finding them with the most stories. Yeah. These are nice people from Fort Lauderdale that he met named Marty Cohen and Lillian Perlman. Yeah. And he said, quote, I met them in 1976, and we got involved with one another. How involved? Well, I'm Jewish, too, you know. My name is Cohen, and I call them Poppin' Mom number two. Wait, so now he How involved? Well, I'm Jewish too, you know. My name is Cohen and I call them Pop and Mom number two.

Wait, so now he's Jewish? He says he's Jewish now because of them. He says, when I'm not up here, I spent some time down there in Florida with them. Marty Cohen is the man who taught me you can give a man a fish and let him eat for a week or teach him to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime. He's helped me with some investments,

a few more substantial fights and I'll be equipped to deal for myself and a family for a lifetime he's helped me with some investments a few more substantial fights and i'll be equipped to deal for myself and a family for for a lifetime so he basically he hangs out with these people becomes friends with them and marty becomes like his kind of manager slash money guy he's kind of like his surrogate father basically with with professional things for accountant kind of but he like gives him advice and tells him where to put his money and like he says i'm taking your money and putting it here and michael just go okay marty knows best so and marty loves him and looks out for him the whole time he is not a silver haired not as silver as they come here he actually is like trying to help a young

guy out and teach him like how to handle his money i want to make some money so i can have i know i want a marty cohen marty cohen help me yeah i don't have not now get me money and then help me figure out what to do with it that's a problem i'll figure out later he said so yeah he's done all of this uh they are uh marty is 86 years old and are not when he meets him but later on so he's in his 70s at this point in time and lil and lillian perlman was in her late 60s at the time and they said that they're just they're all like like family dokes his mother sephora says i respect anything or anyone that is good for michael and uh dokes he says my parents my first parents see it has been a total help to me my first parents and he says he's not actually jewish like sammy davis jewish is the way he put it right i'm not like sammy

davis jewish but he feels like at this point he's kind of not religiously jewish but he feels culturally jewish and i don't know he's gonna hang out with them down in florida he hangs out at the retirement home in florida jewish i just want to benefit from the way this guy's invested. That's all. We're going to play some canasta. It's wonderful. That matzo ball's fine. We'll bet on the highlight. So he says that another one of his influences

is an entrepreneurial guy named Eddie Elias from Akron. And he says, Elias says, quote, I'm not the kind of person who helps a guy because he wants people to he wants to tell people about his good deeds. I actually met Michael through Bob Otterman, who was his high school counselor. I had gone to high school with Bob and he asked me to meet Michael. I guess when he was a senior, he started having Michael come in to see me.

He would stop by the office and tell me about his progress. the office and tell me about his progress when he had a number of offers to turn pro i suggested that he go with carl king who is don king's son who with because of the association with don king who wasn't a known thief by that point by like the 90s it was like oh so if i'm working with don king i'm expecting to get half of what he tells me i'm gonna get whereas at this point people are like he has big fights isn't it it great? And he couldn't rob Muhammad Ali. So, you know, that's who he was dealing with. Anybody else? Yeah. He says, quote, I just wanted Michael to keep his eye on the ball because he was at that

age where there was temptations. But he had the attitude of a champion even then. Attitude of a champion. And a trail of cocaine behind him. So, March 25th, 1978, Caesars Palace, Vegas. That's pretty real, man man it's only a seventh fight not bad he fights abdul khan who is a one and three fighter finishes his career one in ten so obviously this didn't go well but it's a it's a decision it goes the whole way

uh unanimous decision for michael seven and oh april 29 78 at the forum so uh great western forum in california where the lakers played there big deal yeah he's fighting dan ronald johnson i don't know why ronald is his nickname ronald ronald like not ronald ronnell ronald r-o-n-n-e-l-l that's ronnell ronnell yeah dan ronnell john i guess maybe this likes to be called ronnell he enjoys his middle name they're like hey dan he's like call me ron right okay so hey ron l 3 and 13 coming into this is him so another unanimous decision though shouldn't go the distance yeah that guy's a fucking bum yeah he's also i don't know 3 and 13 yeah knock this guy out you're an up-and-comer yeah you gotta show those ron l's hit hard some

flat you never know yeah you go by r Ell, you got to handle that name. It's a heavy name on the shoulders. Maybe he just thought everybody goes by their full name. He's like, this guy's middle name is Dynamite? That's amazing. Fuck, man. Damn. How does everybody get great middle names like Bulldog?

Shit, man. The last guy was Thunder? Right. Man, that's cool. It went with his last name and everything. That's awesome, man. That doesn't work for me. My parents were dumb naming me Ron Ell. Johnson. Thunder? Right. Man, that's cool. It went with his last name and everything. That's awesome, man. I know it doesn't work for me.

My parents were dumb naming me Ronnell. Johnson. They could have named me like, you know, long or big or swinging or something. You know what I mean? Heavy, hairy. Heavy, hairy. Some shit. I don't care.

Four pound. You know, something. So September 26th, a unanimous decision win there for Michael. September 26th, 78 down in Miamiami he fights terry mims who's seven and one coming in but uh this is another win for michael unanimously decision next up october 27 78 is madison square garden all right so shit that's pretty cool you fought it you haven't even had 10 fights you fought at caesars right you fought at the forum and now you're fighting at madison square garden it's awesome These are all undercards, right?

Yeah, yeah. He's on the undercard all these fights. But still, that's pretty impressive. That's because the heavyweight division back then was deep. People wanted to see it. Muhammad Ali did for boxing what Michael Phelps has done for swimming. Boxing has lost popularity since the 60s. No, no, but I'm saying what he did, what Michael Phelps is doing for

swimming, what Muhammad Ali did for boxing, in terms of being so great. In the 70s and 80s, that shit was banging. It was great. Before that, it was even more popular. That was the downhill for boxing. Is that right? Yeah. It was still very popular, but it's been on a downhill since the 50s.

That was kind of the peak. But I mean, in the 70s and 80s there was a big pop whenever there's popular heavyweights it gets popular again and then it tripled yeah we had frazier form and ollie we had all these great heavyweights and then the 80s it was a lull here when dokes comes in and then tyson came on the scene and obviously lit that the fuck up once when when you're allowed to have gatherings again go to a swimming pool and see how many fucking parents think their kids are talented it's bananas man yeah it's you will sit all day long to watch your kids swim three fucking events because it's just race after race of kid after kid it's enough aiden we see you swim you did fine you're doing fine holden charlotte

listen little hunter calm down down. Enjoy baseball season. Oh, Christ. Yeah. Jesus. Like the bat. Right. So here he fights Eugene Green and beats him. Unanimous decision.

10-0. So an MSG victory. That had to be pretty cool. December 8, 78. Back at Madison Square Garden. Fighting Ira Martin. Oh, boy. Who sounds like Marty Cohen hired him to be his assistant ira martin

he goes by joe which is tougher than ira right a little bit anything's tougher than ira his name could have been dolores and it'd be fucking tougher than ira you know he didn't it didn't go well for him if it was dolores she'd be like he must be tough to have that name to be able to carry that shit for that for that long long. He must have got fucked with. But Ira? Nope. He's 10-3 coming in, but finishes his career 10-5. It doesn't go well.

No. I think this fight jangled his fucking brains a little bit here. TKO win for Michael. All right. March 23rd, 79 at the Vegas Hilton. So look at that. Versus Wendell Bailey, who is 13-0 coming in. This is a real fight.

13-0. Michael's 11-0. Let's put two contenders in and see who's a bump. Shit, yeah. So that's something. This goes the distance, and Michael wins a majority decision win. Oh, it was close. Split.

Yeah, this is as close as he's come so far. So he's 12-0 after that. You can tell he gets a little more serious. I feel like that's when probably whoever is his manager sat him down and said, he almost lost that fucking fight. Right. And, uh,

maybe run a little bit more. If yeah, you need to be more aggressive is what it is. You need to get in there and be more aggressive. You can't just sit back and play defense. Right. You can't play. You can't play Oscar De La Hoya the whole fucking time.

Yeah. So, um, the next fight is greg sorrentino at caesar's palace on may 12th 1979 uh sorrentino's 15 four and one coming in and greg actually greg uh michael michael mr does his name is greg sorrentino uh michael knocks him out in the third round so there you go 13 and 13-0 for Michael. Next is July 20th, 79 in West Palm Beach versus Willie McIntyre, who's 13-13 coming in. 13-13-5.

Five's a lot of draws. Too many. Too many, right? Figure it out. Are you winning or are you just going to... How many times can it be even? On a draw, does nobody get paid? No, everybody gets paid.

There's just no... That's all negotiated ahead of time. Yeah, but draws should be a no pay. No pay. Or you should both get paid extra. Either one. I'm not sure. You both...

You went the distance. Yeah, there's got to be a decision in there. Oh, man. But this is a knockout here. No draw here. So he's 14-0, Michael is. September 28th, 79, at Caesars in Vegas. Again, that's pretty

cool versus jimmy young who's 23 8 and 2 coming in and known as a pretty damn good fighter this is a unanimous decision when michael's 15 and oh and uh he's starting to think about the future yeah he thinks now once you get to 15 and oh if they start looking at you once you get to 20 and oh you start getting title shots absolutely so he quote, I want to learn more about people, learn to understand them. I would like to be their champion. Careful about that. All of them, apparently. I'd like to learn more about people.

No, you don't. So I can rule them, is what it sounded like he said. I'd like to be their champion. I would like for them to feel at ease with me. Who? Right. Just everybody? Anybody? Take it easy. their champion i would like for them to feel at ease with me who right just everybody anybody take it easy well that's why if i went to visit a ghetto i would not use nine letter words wait okay how many are you gonna use bigger ones or smaller ones i think smaller is what he's

getting at he's gonna play to his audience he's gonna learn who to talk yeah that could play terribly you could end up uh using small words with a very educated person doesn't mean to be like hey it's because i'm fucking poor doesn't mean i'm stupid with the shit dude yeah all that is is poor so that's it could be anybody they're just happy to be poor my mom could still afford a dictionary like yours asshole still had an encyclopedians i looked at it so he says that uh know, basically, he doesn't he wants to be more of a craftsman. He doesn't want to be as wild in the ring because he wants people to look at him differently. He says, quote, I am not a killer.

I do not enter the ring with the intention of drawing first blood. I enter to win, to do my job, not to hurt others. So he's trying to say, I'm a nice guy and I'll beat the shit out of people and then be nice to them. Right. Which is kind of what Tyson used to do. He knocked the shit out of people and then be nice to them. Right. Which is kind of what Tyson used to do. He'd knock the shit out of people and pick them up and tell them he loved them very much. Tell them how great they are. Yeah, you're terrific and wonderful, and you're going to be in my prayers forever, and I love your family, and I'm going to send your grandmother a Christmas card. I'm so sorry you can't spell your own name now.

Yeah, that's fine, but we have this bond for life. Right. Hugging in the ring and shit. You just beat my ass. Come near me, dude. Fuck out of here. I can't taste right now. Yeah, get away from me.

I can't taste. My nose is running. I think I have COVID. I don't know what happened. And it's 1987, so that's how hard you hit. You hit a disease back 35 years. That's pretty wild. Punched a disease back into time.

So January 13th, 1980, Caesars in vegas again versus earl trip double p on that trip oh yeah of course 13 and 3 he is coming in tko in for michael he's 16 and 0 february 10th 1980 lucian rodriguez he beats him in a unanimous decision 17 and 0 april 19th 1980 in san juan he fights ozzy ocasio jaws is his nickname jaws ocasio who's 14 and 1 coming in okay this fight is a draw what so goes the distance and it's a goddamn draw doesn't hurt that it's ocasio's from puerto rico and it's in san juan fighter fighting especially back then local local judging is a huge deal. It's skewed. I've talked about that scorecasting book before. It's skewed now in major professional sports that are on television.

The people influence judges. They influence. And it's a matter of those split-second decisions. You get your influence. It's just a a human reaction your brain can't help it so they couldn't give him the win because that would be too obvious and they can't give michael the win because what the fuck because they'll get murdered and if you've ever heard anything about like wrestlers when they used to wrestle in puerto rico back then especially it was wild people were throwing d cell batteries and guys were getting stabbed and people are throwing glass bottles at them and shit it's it's day it's you know there's not a

lot of control over the environment inside can you imagine people beat the shit out of dane cook because he got the girl in the movie you know what i mean oh yeah it's acting you guys it's in the script calm down well that's what they did in wrestling yeah you beat that guy right that's my point yeah that's what i'm saying fucking crazy so 17-0-1 now for michael so he must be pissed about that so mad that two months later in june of 1980 he's back in san juan yeah fighting acasio again this time he doesn't leave it up to the judges tko in round one yeah he goes out and says i can fucking whoop that guy and i'm not gonna so he was just lazy in the first fight don't give him the chance he's probably hanging out on the

beach drinking rum eating food doing coke it's fucking cigars yeah enjoying himself yeah the first fight he's like oh i actually have to work out and stuff shit okay wait hold on october 2nd 1980 at caesar's palace he's fighting rough. Rough House. He puts it at the beginning. Rough House. Yeah. 29-4 coming in, though, for old Rough House. TKO win for Michael, though. 19-0-1.

So, Michael, though, he's doing so much drugs on the outside. Sure. At one point, his manager, Marty Cohen, here, is in the hospital in Miami. Because he's 80. You know how that goes. That's going to happen. It happens a lot more frequent to just keeps getting worse and worse until then. You don't have to go at all.

He says eventually he says that Mike Doakes came and visited him in the hospital, which is sweet. That's nice. But this is what Cohen says. Quote, he was loaded. And after he left my doctor said to me marty he's on drugs he says i said i know i know it he's on more drugs than you holy shit marty on a drip wow it's wild i'm gonna go ask him right he's got any more right i have a feeling he's got better shit than we got here at the hospital probably because he looked fucked up

yeah uh cohen also talked about one time he threw a party for dokes, and he says during the party, quote, he had a little white powder on his lips and nose and didn't even know it. It's on his face. Walking around the party with coke on his face. Well, wait till you hear during one of his fights. No. Oh, yeah.

This goes real dead. This is all happy and fun and just. I'm talking like a roller coaster. It's going to drop. March 22, 1981 at Caesars, he fights Randall Tex Cobb. Oh, really? Who's a big actor. You might know him from the- I just saw him in it last night.

There you go. Raising Arizona. He's the guy on the motorcycle. There you go. He's in a ton of movies, though. Is he the same guy from the- What is it? Ace Ventura?

No, that guy's a football player. No, that guy's a boxer. No, it's him. It's Tex Cobb. Tex Cobb's in a shitload of movies. His IMDb is deep. And he was a pretty good boxer. Tex was 17-1 coming into this fight.

No kidding. Career record of 42-7-1. So, fuck, man. Successful in boxing. Successful in movies. P.S. arizona is a fucking amazing movie incredible it's so good it's so good i just watched it because it's on hbo watch it yeah it's amazing re-watch that people it's so good it is the script the acting

everything's amazing it's nicholas cage's best acting he's ever done he's normally not a great actor in that one he's just terrific i can't believe anybody got that script read it and was like we are taking this dead serious i can't believe it that's what i'm away that's what's great how well they all committed to it and it's so well done the fucked up part is you know when i saw that movie no i saw that movie in the movie theater with racist nan racist nan we went to the movies like three times and every time we went it was like not what she thought it was and inappropriate. And so she sat there uncomfortably the whole time, which was hilarious. The other one was Look Who's Talking, which, you know, I'm like 10 and there's all this sperm going.

And I'm like, I'm sitting next to my grandmother. But yeah, we went. The opening scene is a sperm going to the egg. That's what I mean. That was right in the credits. I'm like, oh, boy, we're jumping right into this. This is going to get good. But Raising Arizona, she had seen the trailer where he's robbing the place and he goes to

rob the truck and he's got the son. You got a panty on your head. And she thought that was funny. And it looks like a funny, silly movie. Let's go see it. She liked it. Yeah. She fucking liked it somehow.

So whatever. Holly Hunter is this. She's so good. Just a. But honey. And her face is so good, dude. So good. Rewatch that. And a hillbilly. Ha, ha. But honey, and her face is too big. She's so good, dude. So good.

Rewatch that. And Tex Cobb is great, too. He looks like a scary bastard. And he is, as we see. He beat 42 professional boxers, so that tells you a lot. This is a majority decision win for Michael, though. He beats Tex, and he's 20-0-1. He just beat a contender, and he's got 20 wins.

Now it's time to start looking at being a champion here. And he says that he's not too anxious. He'll wait his turn. He said, above all else, I've learned to be patient. It's but a matter of time until I fight for the championship. I know that, and I'm sustained by that. Wow, he sounds like he's chairing a fucking board meeting in a fortune 500 company you know i'm sustained by that right can we put it to a vote please

well hold on spending any more capital this month yes yes we're going to keep expenditures down and we're going to slash so he says quote i've abandoned the prediction business. In 1978, I said I would be great. In 1979, I said the title would be mine. But in 1980, I said maybe. Now I don't say anything. I wait. I continue to work. When it's my turn, I intend to be fully ready physically as well as mentally.

He's ready. June 12th, 1981, Joe Louis Arena in Detroit. He fights John L. Gardner, who is as British as he sounds. Oh, boy. He is 33- as he sounds. Oh, boy. He is 33-2-1 coming in, though. Good fighter. Not to be trifled with. Yeah.

He's got, like, the stand-up European style. Yeah. Like the old school, like, you know, put up your dukes. Yeah, like, no. Like, there should be a kangaroo on the other side of that match, you know? Boxing with one of those. He rolls his fists around each other. Yeah, let's go, Dad.

Come on, boy. Come on, boy. Let's go. Oh, no, don't call him boy. his fists around each other. Yeah, let's go. Come on, boy. Come on, boy. Let's go. Oh, no, don't call him boy. No, never do that. No, no, no. We meant that like old boy, like British wise. Yeah, that was.

Come on, old chap. Come on, boy. Oh, my. He's hitting me. Oh, no, not that much. Oh, good. Goodness, my. Who are you calling boy, motherfucker?

He's kicking his ass. What was it? Oh, my. What? I was giving you the respect you deserve. The young man was testy in that. Hold on. I'm going to find my nose. Taylor Swift is soaring high.

Her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history. Not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show, Business Wars. We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time.

And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Fuck, man. So, yeah, this is a KO in round four. So Michael knocks the shit out of him. Must have called him, boy.

I don't know. So he's 21-0-1. Must have called him, boy. I don't know. So he's 21-0-1. So for Dokes here, yeah, he loves it. He says, I'm searching for the total dimension. Not just what professional boxing has to offer. I want to be eloquent and versatile.

What is he talking about? He says that he likes to cook, and he likes to make, like, fancy food. He said, quote, I've moved up to desserts, the fancy dishes, the challenges. Yeah. I'll bet they are. He's doing fucking Bobby Flay over here at the same time. We got enough going on, dude.

Between the Coke and the boxing. Right. What else are you going to do now? Take it easy on the eclairs. Yeah. Calm down on the truffle oil, chief. Relax. So August 9th 1981

he's in cleveland i'm sorry yeah and he fights harry the spoiler terrell who's 15 and 10 first round knockout from michael 22 and 0 the spoiler yeah hey i'm gonna get you i'm the spoiler see i ruined careers yeah he's 18 and 18 for his career the spoiler he spoiled his father's ambition for him that's what he spoiled so uh november 6 1981 they're in pittsburgh he fights george chaplin and wins a unanimous decision there 23 you know and uh at this point he's talking to the press after the fight and he's talking about what uh literature yeah and he really wants it's like i'll box but then he won't talk about boxing i'll only talk about like things that you wouldn't think he'd be into because he wants to like show my

book club yes he talks about he talks about uh machiavelli and the prince that's what he's talking about yeah he said about that he says when i was reading it it occurred to me this prince would have made a hell of a fight promoter i told you i read a lot of stuff but mostly of late i've been into money books you know money maddened management and estate planning so yeah he's talking about the fucking prince what he would have made a hell of a fight promoter that's i didn't watch the read the book no well he did a machiavellian you can get a yeah i know extrapolate from their own death uh just no it's a never mind well we're not gonna have literature corner over here. And I learned that.

Because I'm dumb. I'm just dumb. I didn't even graduate high school, so... I just learned about the guy from Tupac. And every rapper in 1995. Right. Yeah, all of them. That's the shit.

Yeah, I read that shit, but not in school, so... I don't know. I just know what I thought, and I don't know if that's correct or not, because I was never around anyone to discuss it, so... That's the problem if you're dumb and you didn't do anything in school and then you try to like educate yourself later on you don't have anybody to like ask and go is that right am i reading that right nope it's just i guess that's what they're talking about with your own imagination it's all i can do this is what i took from it that's it i don't could be wrong i don't know so january 30th 82 at at Caesars, he fights Lynn Bulletball.

Okay. Bulletball. Wow. That's weird. Okay. He's 17 and 5, 17 and 7 for his career. So this isn't going to go well. TKO in round one at 2 minutes and 56 seconds.

So almost made it, but not quite. 24-0 and 1 for Michael. Don King is promoting his fights now. And he says that Michael Doak's next couple of fights, one of them could be for the championship. He's ready to step it up and ready for a title fight. Don King says of him, quote, he is the fastest of all heavyweights and he has a wealth of talent, a wealth of charisma. I am proud of him. I expect great things from him.

So Don King said that he's like i'm gonna rob him blind you betcha i expect to just grab him by his ankles turn him upside down and shake out the change i expect a lot of diamonds in a big house from him that's right goddamn i'm gonna spend his money and enjoy it march 20th 1982 at the playboy hotel and casino in atlantic city oh boy gross not the good. In 82. Yeah. That whole town smelled back then. It still smells. It's gross. So versus Tommy Franco Thomas.

His name is Thomas Thomas. Yeah. Tommy Thomas? No good. Your name is Tommy fucking Thomas? You can't be Tommy Thomas. And is there Franco in there? I guess.

Well, that's why he's 24 and 3 as a boxer, because he's had to beat the shit out of a lot of people for making fun of him about his name. Him and Ira are going to go at it. Thomas Thomas. Thomas Thomas. Fuck. KO in round five here for Michael.

25-0-1. So Michael's doing great at this point. 25-0-1. Don King saying he's proud of you. You're doing well. You're cooking desserts. Yeah. Everything is great. May 1st, 1982.

Not so great. He is speeding in his four-door Mercury. What kind of Mercury is he? He's got money. Why is he driving a Mercury? I mean, if you get a nice Cougar. In 82? Mercury didn't really make it.

Look at those tiny shit bodies. They just look like Ford Escorts and shit. Didn't they make a Cougar, like the bigger Cougar? Big race car. That looked like a Thunderbird? Yeah. One of those, I guess. I mean, the Mercury Sable.

If he's driving... Mercury's our old people's cars. He's got peach pants on with a fucking pimp hat driving a Sable? I hope not. That'd be weird as fuck. It's going to be a Mercury, the big body. One of the sportier ones. It's a four-door?

Is that what it is? That doesn't say. Four-door Mercury. It's the big body. I guess so. It's a pimp car. Well, it's only at 6.30 p.m., so it's not two in the morning, which is rare for our guys.

It's usually 3 a.m. Oh, shit. Here we go. 6.30 p.m. Apparently, he changed lanes three times and ran a red light. Wow. And in a rainstorm, too. So, anytime you blow traffic shit during rainstorms, it's like extra because it's conditions. Yeah.

Now, when the police finally stopped him, what he did is he said that, Doak said, no, no, no, no. It's cool. Yeah. I am a deputy sheriff from Westmoreland county pennsylvania no that's what he tells them another state which is what what are you fucking doing yeah um and produced a badge and started filling out the identification card that they do for officers to to back up his claim uh but then at that point they found out that he was in no way a sworn deputy sheriff when he didn't know certain information to fill out because he's not a cop

how did he get that um he's a more this is wild so who's the other guy that did that we had a basketball player did that shit yeah we've had a couple people impersonate i want to say olden polonise i think that's true is the one who impersonated we've had like that's happened like three times before the impersonating police officers well it's because they these departments give athletes these badges they have bad yeah rod had a bag of badges dude a bag of them a fucking bag of them i'm talking a backpack that had san francisco oakland marin county this county la county fucking boston chicago from all the places he played. He had them all over, from Florida, from spring training.

He had all these badges. He had a fucking DEA badge. He had a fucking DEA badge. He had all these literally federal badges they gave him. He's like, I have all these fucking badges. They just give them to me. He's like, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do with them. What am I supposed to do with these things?

I want them. He's just in a bag in his closet because he was like, I got it. Because something at the DEA came up. He goes, I got a badge. You're pretty cool. I was like, why do't know what the fuck I'm going to do with them. What am I supposed to do with these things? I want them. He's just in a bag in his closet. Because he was like, I got something that the DEA came up with. He goes, I got a badge. They're pretty cool. I was like, why do you have a DEA badge? He goes, I got a lot of badges. I'm like, why? All I've got is an immigration badge.

Just give them to me. Plunk this big backpack on the fucking pool table. I've got an immigration patch and a U.S. Postal Service hat. That's cool. I'm worthless. That's pretty cool that people have sent to us. I love them. That's pretty badass,

but definitely not this. So he is charged with impersonating a police officer and careless driving, and he could end up in jail for a year, but he won't,

obviously, here. He just gave police a fucking... He gave his address as Ohio, but said he was a Westmoreland... Right, from PA....county thing, but said he was a Westmoreland from PA County thing. But he's down there.

Who knows? During his arrest, the police said that he was, quote, a perfect gentleman. I'm sure. And he did tell the officers that he was a boxer and he was the number three contender for the heavyweight title. And nice to meet you, gentlemen. Would you like to know my fucking flambe recipe? Is number three that can you make a souffle you know anybody could say that i think because nobody knows who the top two contenders

are i know they probably have say number three eastern european or russian names i assume but yeah you could say you're number three and anybody would believe that get away with it you could totally get away with that that's one of those things where you go oh yeah okay wow number three number three huh it sounds believable it's not too one of those things where you go, oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Number three? Number three, huh? You don't look like it. It sounds believable. It's not too much of a brag. Right.

You know? It's a super humble brag. It is. Like, yeah, number three. Huh? Really? Yeah. Who knows?

Yeah. It's like, you know. It didn't happen. Yeah. Like, you know, our podcast is like top 20 in comedy, but it's, you know. It's a thing. It's top 20. Like, we're not like top five.

No. We're top 20. Top 20. It sounds cool. I'll take it. It's actually true. Yeah. But it's still, it's super weird. I'm going with top 30 from now on top 30 you know top three fly top three you

know flyweight heavyweight contenders of the world you should your look with the tech i would i would go with mma just be like yeah no i'm a ufc just make up a weight class and just be like yeah i'm the number three contender three zipper weight zipper weight. They'll be like, I don't know that one. Who else is in the zipper weight? You could just make up names. Oh, you know, Sergio the... The rip saw. Sergio the Flamingo Montedero. He's number one, obviously.

He's the champion right now. We're all shooting for him. Probably saw that. Then there's Ronald the Stork Hatchenstein. He's obviously up there. You've seen him. It's that then there's uh there's ronald the stork hatchenstein he's obviously up there you've seen um it's a lot of bird puns really it's a little bird names in the lower weight classes because they're lighter have you seen the sparrow he is so he's good um and then the badger is number two i'm real i gotta fight the badger next week he's gonna be a difficult call me the hummingbird because I'm so fast. I'm fast. I'm quick. I buzz around.

I'm doing it. I'm in the zipper weight. I'm in the zipper weight. You should. He's a gentleman here. So that's fine. I mean, that happens. He spat. He shouldn't have said he was an officer. He's like, maybe if I just give him his badge, he'll just let me go. He didn't realize he was going to have to fill out a card, I think. I think he thought if he just said it, they'd be like,

oh, on your way, sir. Give him a salute right no no i meant the badge oh yeah no westmoreland gag you know what on your way with you get on back there but you tell bill we said hello yeah no he didn't expect to be handed a thing to fill out he's like oh shit oh boy this looks like i could get in trouble if i do this okay i thought you flashed the badge you just just walked away oh never mind They just waved you off. Maybe throw me a beer or something for my ride. Something like that. So June 14th,

1982, a couple months later, he's in Las Vegas and this is fucking hilarious. He's eventually charged with obstructing a police officer and battery with a deadly weapon. This is what this starts out with an argument between him and his lawyer oh wait he doesn't hit his lawyer yeah that's a

separate thing the the uh battery is on a police officer that's not good this isn't good okay so the scuffle begins okay uh his manager archie i guess is his last name. Robert Archie is his name. He's at his lawyer's office, Robert Archie. And apparently there was some sort of argument between the two of them. It started, police went there in response to a burglar alarm going off in the office. Not because of fighting. They showed up because of the response to a burglar alarm. And once they get there, they found Doakes and his lawyer there in the middle of a fight arguing and you know getting close getting heated with each other so apparently dokes got all up in his face and uh

this guy had been asking him to leave and he set off his burglar alarm on his desk to get the cops there because he thought dokes was going to kill him because he's a fucking boxer and he's a lawyer so he's like i'm gonna get my ass kicked here this this might not be good so at one point they the police decide to arrest michael uh for not leaving when told to leave it's like a trespassing thing and then not wanting to leave when they're asking him to leave as well so he says that uh they say at that, this is they got everybody outside the office. At that point, he just decided to walk away. He was just like, I'm just going to walk away.

You don't need to arrest me. I'll leave now. I'll just walk away. So as he starts to walk away, they said, no, we can't do that. It's too late for that. They told him to put his hands up on a tree for a search. Okay. They're going to search him.

So, yeah, that's kind of what he says. The police say that he showed up and, you know, he was in the middle of a fight with his attorney that the police were intervening in. Doak says, quote, the policeman hit me before he even asked my name. He made me stand against a tree and then began searching me for firearms. I was wearing Sergio jeans that fit as tight as paper on the wall i was wearing sergio jeans he said hot you know he said no it's july at june and june june and uh vegas it's real hot he says no way i could have concealed the gun which i mean you could see him in a pair of tight jeans he said then he started to put his hands in my pockets that's when i grabbed his arm i have street smarts i know how

cops plant drugs or dope just to get a guy they want okay that's fair hey that's fair um he said quote a scuffle ensued a cop started hitting me with a p24 that's an aircraft aluminum stick it's a little metal baton that's light and effective and very damaging. He messes reading the fucking the dictionary. Yeah. And very damaging. Then he gets into the medical journal part of it. He messed up ligaments in my left hand and caused hemorrhaging in my right knee.

Who the hell says hemorrhaging in my right knee? Besides these and hemorrhaging. Wow. Now, the police have a different version. They say that he resisted the search and punched a cop in the face and in the shoulder, knocking him into the street and bloodying his nose. So, you know, you have two different things. It's Vegas. The officer is Rod Harris.

And he says, yeah, he punched him. Doak says, well, he was hitting me with something called a P-24. And he says he came on the scene and told me to brace against a tree. He said he had to frisk me because I was said to be carrying is carrying a gun. Now I was wearing tight jeans and a shirt and if I had been packing a gun on me, surely it would have been obvious. This was the next day after the Holmes Cooney fight, Larry Holmes and Jerry Cooney fought

the day before. Cooney is a big white dopey guy and it was strictly a race thing so he's saying the cop was i don't know there was some sort of racial whipped up from the cooney holmes fight which okay um he then says blacks have very little rights in las vegas i think he was obsessed with shaking me down because i was the biggest and blackest probably between him and his attorney i would assume he was obsessed with shaking me down because I was the biggest and blackest, probably between him and his attorney. I would assume he was probably bigger at least. He said, anyway, after patting me down and being satisfied I didn't have a gun, he started to stick his hands in my pocket.

I said, wait a minute. What are you doing now? Can't you see I got no gun? And, whoom, he hits me in the knee with the club. So I started running because I don't want him busting me up with that thing. He chased after me and swung the club again and missed. And there was his chin just hanging out. And there was no one around but me and God to tell me what to do.

And he blasted him. He fucking just clocked the cop and knocked his ass out on the... Yeah, he's a fucking heavyweight contender. He clocked the guy, hit him in the face and the shoulder, bloodied him up, put him to the floor. The thing about those batons, you take a healthy swing and that leaves you a bit vulnerable that will also you better i don't know if you're gonna fucking hit a guy like that with a baton you better make sure that i would approach someone like that more respectfully rather than rather than saying we're gonna match physical fucking wits here you know what i'm saying like

someone who's a clearly you know like a heavyweight contender and a person much bigger than me and an athletic younger person in great shape you might be like let's try to make this go easy in giant trying to be friendly jesus yeah you don't want to fight with that guy oh christ almighty so either way and you don't want to hit cops either you can't be punching cops that's two things is a shit scenario. All of this is bad here. So, yeah, he says that, whatever. Moving on, that he's going to fight Mike Weaver for the title. This is to get a title shot, finally. And they're looking for a location for it.

They say they're going to fight on December 10th. And Doak says, as far as I'm concerned, I'll fight him in his living room. They can schedule it there for all the good it'll do him. He thinks he's going to whoop his ass. He says he, talking about Weaver, will be getting a lot of bucks, so he should be satisfied on that count. I think he'll be making a million plus. He's making at least $500,000. He said, my end is still being negotiated.

You see, I fought but twice this year. These are things to be considered, but I should get the half a million. Definitely it will be my largest purse ever. But after December, I'll be the million dollar fighter. So he says... For the championship. For the champion. Yeah, once you're the champion, then you can name your... You have a little more control. He says that it's become

a different thing for him, boxing. He says boxing is more scientific with a lot more stratagems in the psychological sense. A lot more stratagems in the psychological sense. A lot more stratagems in the psychological sense. Oh, boy. I've never tried to work on a specific thing for any opponent. Those kind of fighters who you know what they're going to do, they're the easiest to beat.

Weaver's style is to lay back and build up his confidence, then try to come on with body shots and a more aggressive attack. But I'm not going to let him do any of that. He's 30 years old. I'm 24. Maybe the body betrays him. My attitude is that I'll kill or be killed. It won't go the 15 rounds. I'll be too anxious for that.

Also, why prolong things? I'll go out there and be as concise as possible and cordial. You can say that, but I'm sure he will be. And educated. Very educated. possible and cordial you can say that but i'm sure he will be uneducated very educated i'm going to give him a lesson in words and then vocabulary and then we're going to fight so december 10th 1982 for the wba heavyweight title there we go uh he is fighting uh mike weaver he's still mad about the arrest i'm sure before the fight he is uh talking to reporters and he said quote we blacks are still just slaves

some of us just get paid more but it's hard for it's hard for others to attain anything and uh yeah he's getting almost a million dollars for this fight though but he's he's pissed about how he was treated i guess i understand he says that he still harbors bitter memories from that he says that he knows that it was because of holmes and cooney now uh he fights at caesar's it's mike hercules weaver oh yeah so he's 24 and 9 coming in and this one does not go long michael dokes knocks him out in the first round wow doesn't knock him out it's a tko the fight is stopped that's awesome everyone thinks this fight stopped too soon but this is right after a man uh oh j Jesus, what is his name?

Do-fuck-Kim. He's a Korean guy. I don't want to sound racist, but there's Kim Do-soon or some shit is in his name somewhere. I don't remember the whatever. But he had just went into a coma and died in a match that the ref waited too long to stop it. So for a little while. I think I saw that fight. I have, yeah.

That's tough to watch, man. It's tough, man. He doesn't look right at the end. It's already over. Yeah, it's bad. So at this point in time, there's a bunch of fights that are getting stopped well beforehand because they don't want that to happen again.

So anyway, everybody said it was prematurely stopped. The fans were chanting bullshit, bullshit, and fix, fix, fix fix and all that sort of shit then a brawl broke out inside the ring between the two sides of course the two camps here um basically dokes demanded the championship belt that the other guy had worn into the ring and uh one of the brothers of of weaver uh he didn't want to give him the belt, so then he ends up taking a shot, tried to punch Doakes. That is crazy. Why would you

as the brother, who's not a fighter, try to hit the man who just knocked your brother out, who is a fighter, in a minute and a half? See what he did to your seed that has the athletic prowess? That's what I mean. Don't do this. You're the shit one. Right. You're the floating turd. You're not going to fucking knock this guy out. I'llge him the family so uh yeah that ended up happening and then all

the whole groups started and it was a big goddamn melee in the ring and uh yeah the ring the guy the the announcer didn't even announce the didn't even announce it he ran out of the ring because it was a fucking disaster i think he eventually got the belt, though. So they got everything calmed down and everything happened. You know, it was all fine. Doakes, later on, Doakes and Weaver

weren't mad at each other. It was the... Everybody else was mad. Everybody else, yeah. Doakes had his arm around him talking to the press afterwards. He said, I told him I loved him

and he said he'd ask God to bless me. So they're all happy. Ask God to do it? Ask God to bless me. Can't you do it? Well, he said, I told him I loved him, and he said he'd ask God to bless me. So they're all happy. Ask God to do it? Ask God to bless me. Can't you do it? Well, he's not. What's a blessing from Weaver going to do? God bless you, you know?

He said, I'll ask God to bless you. I know him. I got an in. I'll ask him. I'll see what he says. I'll see what he says. I'll let you know. I kind of like it that way better.

There's nothing worse than some hol holier than thou person telling you bless god bless you like yeah all the time i can't get it relax i've heard plenty of it yeah i'm plenty blessed thanks good appreciate you he said he's been blessed since birth so it's all fine here so uh he is 26 oh and one and has a portion of the title because there's like three different heavyweight titles but that doesn't matter. He's the champion. Grace. Oh, boy. Hard Grace. Let's call this a fucking...

Punch in the face Grace. Hard Grace. Punch in the Grace. Punch in the Grace. Hey. So his mom was at this fight, one of the rare ones, and she said that he wanted him to go, so he wanted her to go, so she had to go.

She did say before the fight that it was a hard time to get there because she said, quote, I do have a choir rehearsal that night. I mean, my son's fighting for the heavyweight championship of the world, but I have to sing fucking Amazing Grace with the other ladies. My schedule, you know, it works. It would be ideal if I could go to the hotel and see Mike off to the Coliseum and then attend the rehearsal. That's what she wants to do. But she can't. She says that now she she says, I wish he would find himself another occupation. And the sooner the better.

He he's up for the championship of the world. The man just made him almost a million dollars. I wish he'd find something else to do. She said, I've been to his fights, but usually have to have been able to move about. When Michael came on, I was able to go outside or into the lobby. When I thought it was about time for the fight to be over, I'd come back in. The one time that failed me was last December. She's talking about the Weaver fight here.

I got trapped at ringside. My brother and his wife came in from California, and they were seated with me, and that helped a little. She said it was still very painful. You have to understand I'm upset the whole time, throughout training and when mike is getting ready to fight again i worry she's just worried about him normal mom shit my mother would be the same way yeah so uh the father gordon he just will not watch michael's fights period he's out go won't watch too worried can't do it or he did too much better than me too stressful i think it is don't even want to do it because it's like oh

he's you know yeah you've i know how hard that is yeah oh shit that hurts so the family though is very modest that this is what i'm talking about he's making a lot of money at this point and they say oh is he like giving you a better life and the mom said quote we have a 72 buick that i bought last spring so she bought a nine-year-old ten-year-old used car fucking you know not otherwise that doesn't tell me uh if you're doing better does that mean you're just frugal with all She bought a nine-year-old, ten-year-old used car. Fucking, you know, not otherwise. That doesn't tell me if you're doing better. Does that mean you're just frugal with all the shit he gives you? She said, quote, I rode the Metro before and could again, but there are just times when having a car makes it easier.

Yeah, I'm still working at the domestic service. No one ever should depend on her children. Michael has been dependable. He's been very good to his sister and brothers. Michael Doakes is not working, so Michael has picked up a lot of the piece oh mr dokes is not working so michael has picked up a lot of the pieces but they won't like let him take care of ladies like her they're yeah they're just amazing they're those kind of parents that are like no no you know that's that's what you do and yeah it's wild that's old school we've got enough we're fine now early 1983 i didn't mention this on purpose earlier.

When he was an amateur, he fought Tim Doc Anderson. Remember him? Yeah. He's a murdering crime and sports alumnus here. Now, Doc Anderson ran into him again in early 1983, and Michael freaked Doc out. Doc's a murderer, mind you, okay? Basically, he says they ran into each other jogging they were both jogging in florida and they were like oh shit michael oh shit dude i don't remember you apparently michael didn't remember him for a while and tim

had to remind him that he knocked him down right and then he was like oh yeah i remember you you pit me in the face really hard now i get it so i said they went back to uh dokes his condo to hang out for a little while and doc says quote michael's condo was in clear view of the pool area after our five mile run we entered the condo so he could show me the belt this is right after that and he's like oh fuck you want to see the belt dude fuck yeah i want to see the belt so uh he says he was surprised by the fact that basically had no furnitures in his apartment at all michael just real sparse he said there was a beat-up couch and a small table with a few mismatched chairs but the kitchen was state-of-the-art so he had it that's all he cared about

because he liked to cook but he didn't give two shits about the living room whatsoever just didn't give a shit those chairs are purple and yellow look at this viking check this out yeah he said there were no pictures or paintings on the wall, just the WBA World Heavyweight belt that he won from Mike Weaver. That's his decor. He just hangs it on the wall. Put that up there for now. Sounds like my place.

Yeah, right? With a big fish on the wall. He had a big fish and a poster signed by Howard Stern. There you go. Nothing else. And a Broncos helmet that I gave you. Yeah, right above the fridge. A gravedigger.

go nothing else yeah and a broncos helmet that i gave you right above the fridge grave digger so he says that uh anderson says that dokes took the belt off the wall and put it on doc's waist show him what it felt like then he took him to the kitchen and he described it he said it was his pride pride and joy he said that he hoped to become a chef and open up a restaurant when he was done with boxing that's what he was doing in. He said he gathered up all his ingredients and shit to make him and Anderson protein shakes. And then Anderson was telling him that raw eggs don't do anything for you and you shouldn't put them in there.

But anyway, they're supposed to get together and have a big meal. Doak said, come over, bring a girl. I'll make a big fancy meal and we'll do it, right? Make you a heavy meal. I right make you a heavy meal i'll make you a heavy ass meal so they they come there uh tim and his girlfriend jill and two of her stripper roommates hell yeah all come over to dokes's apartment i like it this sounds like a lot of fun already this is a party here for a seven course meal yeah that uh and doc says it

was quote prepared awesomely by the champ and basically also when he came in there the furnace now he had all new furniture now it's beautiful now it's like he had like a decorator in or something before the they got together he said that it had a quote classy new ambience now um so after finishing dessert everybody's having cocktails except anderson as we remember he was a teetotaler. But then at that point, while they're all having cocktails, Michael slaps a big bag of cocaine on the table. Now let's party. Now we're partying. So Doc and his girlfriend immediately excused themselves, they said, and drove and took off.

Anderson says that Doakes didn't show up at the gym for a few days. He's getting plenty of cardio. He's doing fine he left him there with two strippers and a bag of cocaine i think everything's gonna work out just fine all the cardio in the world tonight yeah it's all good so he said that he had a heart-to-heart talk with dokes after that you know he said quote i tried to explain the pitfalls of drugs and alcohol as a friend you brought the man strippers we're the same age stupid what are you talking about what are you my grandfather fuck out of here with that shit you brought two stripper to his house and then left and left them there they're fine talk to him about morality yeah

come on now he said i said as the face of boxing he needed to be a good example for the children this is a murderer he's a murderer you're a murderer and you brought that man strippers a good example a stripper delivering murderer stripper delivery that was a test i was hoping that you would turn them down if not i'd have killed you because i do that also i think it was episode 200 was it yeah it was i think it was our big 200th episode it's a wild episode let's check it out if you haven't heard it yet. So he said, I need to be a good example for the children. He says that he seemed to appreciate my sentiments.

He also said the next evening, Dokes came to Solid Gold, which was a strip club where they were, where Jill and Tim were, and witnessed him laying out lines of cocaine on a table for him and the girls. So, yeah, he's making friends at the strip club. Either way. Anderson said he was hurt, confused, and appalled by it. Mind your own business. You're at a strip club in Florida in 1983. You're not above anybody. You're at a Florida strip club in 1983.

Everything has cocaine. If you order a Coke, they're filled with cocaine. Everything has cocaine in it. Remnants, residue. They're still importing filled with cocaine everything has cocaine in it remnants residue they're still important money is covered with cocaine in it dude it's so much at least there in florida in the early 80s so yeah he's hurt and confused the fuck out of here you fucking murdering asshole so you said at the time we were in totally different directions even though he was barely three months my senior you know when else you were different directions when you were murdering people you you dumb fuck.

But actually, they come closer than you'd think. The man's older than him, and he's trying to give him advice. Yeah, shut up. You're older than me, and you're the champ, and you're more successful in our both chosen things, but I'm going to give you advice. Let me tell you what I would do. Yeah.

Fuck. So May 20, 83, at the Dunes in vegas which no longer exists uh this is again versus mike against mike weaver now this one michael is out of shape as fuck you know out of breath out of shape he just took that title and was like i'm gonna cook food and do coke and be happy yeah fuck strippers i like it and uh basically after the 10th round, all Doakes does is hold him. He's hanging off him like a fucking drapes. It looks bad. He's just out of gas. You can tell he's out of gas.

He's just trying to prolong. Let's get this fight over with and not get knocked out. It goes all 15 rounds. His title fights were 15 rounds back then. Five rounds of hanging on to something. Five rounds of hanging on. It's a draw. Oh, what?

All that, and it's a draw. So that's the last shot Mike Weaver will get, and that's that. So he gets to keep the title, even though he almost pissed it away. 26-0-2. So, yeah, he says that his trainer, Eddie Futch, says, when he was in his late teens and early 20s, you could envision him being an all-time heavyweight great. And this was a guy who had been the trainer to Ken Norton, Joe Frazier, Larry Holmes.

He knows his fighters a little bit. He said around Ohio, he was regarded as a wunderkind. But he got caught up in drugs real early, and that, combined with his lifestyle after he became champion, dulled his reflexes and ambition. And the director of boxing at Madison Square Garden said, There was no telling how good Doakes could have been if he had stayed clean. He had the best speed for a heavyweight I've seen.

But when you're young, you think you're invincible. He sees all the heavyweights, too, as the MSG boxing director. That's a pretty big compliment. For Doakes, he says he just wanted to live in the moment and hang out. He says, I used to stay up all night. I was afraid I'd miss something, which then it's hard to work out and wanted to live in the moment and hang out he says quote i used to stay up all night i was afraid i'd miss something which then it's hard to work out and do road work in the morning go run five miles at five in the morning after you've been up all night

he says that you know just winning the belt didn't make him mature automatically he said i wondered why everyone couldn't be happy but the people around me showed me nothing but animosity and jealousy i couldn't cope with it so i tried to escape um into money and more drugs or maybe they care about you and you're on a lot of coke and your your brain probably isn't processing that correctly seeing the emotion no you're seeing you're paranoid and you're seeing people trying to come between me and my coke right which is what i want so no stay away from my Coke. September 23rd, 1983 at the Richfield Coliseum, which I think is where the first two Survivor Series was for WWF,

for WWE back in the day. Yeah. This is a fight here. He's entering against Jerry Coetzee. And this is a real fighter, this guy. Guy you got to take seriously. And Michael tells Sports Illustrated later on. First, he denies it for years but later on

he admits that he trained for the fight while on jack daniels and cocaine the whole time oh that's so cool didn't get clean at all just drank and did coke and he'd show up and work and then go home and he'd fucked up again and not be healthy and not be not be good uh he had everyone at ringside said you could see the white powder in his mustache. He had coke in his mustache during a professional boxing match. He just did. He had to have like somebody pinch my nostril. I got gloves on.

That's how soon he did that shit. Yeah. The way he said later on, Michael says, quote, and this is the time period. I once did two kilos of cocaine in nine months. He said, that's enough to kill a rhino in a good part of the jungle. I used to pour it on a piece of paper on the floor like you'd pour flour with all the things I've done to myself. I should be dead. That's so much.

Yeah, that is four point four pounds of cocaine in nine months. Four point four pounds. That's a lot. And it gets worse too later on but yeah 2.2 pounds a kilo so is any is any uh physician or uh chemist wild just decided whether or not that's enough like if you can actually physically do that oh yeah you can you can once your tolerance builds up yeah and especially him if you're a guy And especially him. If you're a guy who, thing is too, if you're a guy who's got a healthy heart and you have good cardio and shit like that, it can withstand it.

Oh, that's very dangerous. He could have had a heart attack or at any point, look at Len Bias. Right. It happens. Do we know if Len was a habitual user or was that just him partying? From what I understand, he was just partying. I think he'd do it here and there, but he wasn't like an everyday user or anything he's just a partier yeah if you had more of a consistent yeah that's what it is you got to build up a tolerance

that's what happens don't just go crazy well you see it all the time with people who uh this is a thing like when people quit heroin or when people you know quit shit like that lowers their tolerance well they quit for six months or three months or even a month and then when they then they go back to it quick they do the same amount that they did before and they don't have the tolerance and they die my friend did that you got to build it yeah it's built up you're like oh i can do that oh shit no i can't she fucking met a girl in rehab and they became lovers and then uh she got a job and to celebrate they decided they were going to use once once and that was too much yeah no one going to use once. Once. And that was too much. Yeah. Too much.

Just once. Yeah. Just the once that we used to do. That'll help the job, I'm sure. I passed the drug test. Everything's good. Great. He then said, quote, I became a connoisseur of drugs.

A connoisseur of drugs. We've had the king of Rikers Island. We've had the king of cocaine. I'm a connoisseur of drugs we've've had the king of Rikers Island. We've had the king of cocaine. I'm a connoisseur of drugs we've never had before. This is a man that knows what pairs well with... Yeah, that's what I mean. I like this and this.

You want to do about an eighth of an ounce of cocaine with that, actually. So you do about an eight ball. Colombian goes nice with a Chardonnay. Oh, it's a beautiful Chardonnay. Oh, here, wait. Let me bring you the antipasto the second course is gonna that's the pairing you want it brings out the oregano it's oaky he says by the time i fought coatsy i was completely out of it i would throw punches

at him but i really couldn't tell where he was that's how fucked up he was he was doing coke beforehand uh coatsy is the boardorg the Boxburg bomber what's more dangerous doing that much coke in nine months or doing enough coke to get into the ring with a fucking killing machine that's wild and not know where he is I don't know where he is I'm just swinging this is a 28 three in one fighter so he's no joke he's a south african guy and this fight goes 10 rounds and michael is knocked out in the 10th round good as he should be right wake up call 26 one and two for michael and he deserved that loss wake up and go to sleep call yeah he said that he was very sad about the whole thing uh depressed so he said he went back to vegas and just kind of put his head in a pile

of cocaine for a while as you do when you're depressed yeah he said i went back to Vegas and just kind of put his head in a pile of cocaine for a while, as you do when you're depressed. Yeah. He said, I was doing drugs before I won the title, but I was only a casual user then. I didn't become abusive until 83 or 84 when this all became a nightmare for me. He later on says that's not really true either. But it got out of control to the point where it bled into the ring later on whereas before he could control it that much january 84 cohen his manager there marty cohen knows he's a fucking disaster knows he's on drugs so he makes a proposition to him he says tell you what there's a bunch of fighters in australia they have these camps out there let me take you to australia clean you up get you back in shape

you're on another continent you don't know anybody you don't you can you up, get you back in shape. You're on another continent. You don't know anybody. You can't go get Coke. You don't know shit. So he says, okay, and he does it. Marty said, Michael was destroying himself, and that was killing me. I had to do something, something for both of us. Yeah.

And Coke is crazy expensive in Australia. I'm sure it is, probably even more back then. So he says that he's back there kind of just exercise and really getting himself into shape cohen says he's running he's training and i'm sure just sure he'll be all right now quote yeah he's good now i'm sure he's all right now he's good now that is a silver i'm sorry marty you tried to help but this is silver as shit being positive he'll be all right from a month of exercise in another continent will kill his cocaine addiction. I don't think that's really going to work here.

Actually saying it. Yeah, I'm sure. Just sure. He reiterated it, too. Like, I'm sure. Just sure that he'll be all right now. Wow. But no.

Now, he says that, Doak says that, you know, you can blame people, but it's your own fault and shit. He says boxing definitely exposed me to a lot of people, all sorts of people, good and bad. But a person creates his own circumstances. You know, what I'm searching for here in Australia is discipline, mental discipline more than physical discipline. I'm gradually returning to the ring. I've been a little sick, that's all. Yeah, a little sick. Cohen says his future is great.

You'll see. You'll see him return to the ring, and when he does, you'll see the Michael Doakes I knew 10 years ago. All right. Clean as a whistle. Yeah. August 31st, 84,

back fighting Mike Jamison, a 12 and 7 fighter. By the way, whenever he has a bad fight or a loss he fights the dorkiest looking white guy he can find every time and this guy is just you know mustached white guy standing there like you know what's going on pal and he's gonna get the shit beat out of him uh so anyway he's 12 and 7 this jameson It's a unanimous decision win. He is rusty a little bit here. 27-1-2.

February 16th, 1985 in Kingston, New York. I don't know. When the hell do they have fights in Kingston? Versus Playboy Young Louie. That sounds like a rapper. Playboy Young Louie sounds like a 2004 rapper. There's no first name? Young.

His first name is Young. Really? Young Louie. Oh, boy. Louis, but Louie. isn't that good enough i guess a playboy that's playboy i think young young's pretty cool it's happening young louis that sounds every soundcloud playboy young you look that's a fucking rapper name someone out there use playboy young louis please because it works and you know it works and it flows and he's not using it anymore so 14 and 8 he is coming in, the playboy. This is a round two TKO for Michael. So he's looking sharp.

Yeah, he said that people started asking him, well, how much coke were you doing? And he described pouring it on the floor. He said, you know, like pouring from a flower bag. Quote, you know, like pouring from a flower bag. I poured it out till it looked good. I didn't scale it or nothing. When it looked good, I'd stop pouring and start snorting sometimes i'd stay up for six or seven days you know when you make a nice crust that amount of flour that's what i do it's like when you're

making pasta you make a well for the eggs in the middle that's what i do i make a well he's going to make cocaine pasta he's going to be the first one people make weed infused shit all the time now there's tv shows on netflix about it but he's gonna be the first one cocaine pomodoro to do to do a nice uh it's a nice linguine in a cocaine so you're gonna like oh it's a beautiful we got the cocaine antipast you're gonna like us so much so much oh we have angel powder dust that's what it's called the cocaine chapino is gonna be beautiful tonight that's our special it's uh you know jesus angel hair dust i like that angel hair dust so uh march 15th 1985 this is for the vacant this is a bullshit title so it's the w uh bc but it's like the america's heavyweight it's like the intercontinental Belt in wrestling. He fights Tex Cobb again here.

This is stopped in the fourth. He wins if they stop it. But Doak's also had a real nasty cut on his head from a headbutt from Tex. Tex's head is the size of a Christmas ham. It looks hard as fuck. It looks like a big hard head. It looks like it's been hardened over time. But the thing is, it looks like you could punch it from anywhere in the room right so look if you were boxing me just swing and

you'll hit his head just take a look like he'd feel it you might not hurt him but you could really tee off on that big giant fucking thing so uh this is he's 29 one and two after this and after this he heads to rehab now it's not just australia now he needs professional medical help here and he he blamed the cut from the cob fight on his you know that's why he needs rehab he needs rehab now well he said the cut from the cob fight then the long layoff i had a lot of idle time to revert to using drugs it's called after fights you're you're always going to have that i used them to deal with the letdown. I became a total addict. I bought me some keys and I was gone.

We'll talk about how many keys in a little while. Plurals. He said, drugs are progressive. I went from grams to half ounces to ounces. Then I went to the moon with kilos and half pounds. I snorted it. I free-based it. I drank it.

How do you drink cocaine? I'd like to know. Wow. He is. Maybe he's making some champagne cocktail this is my version of a champagne cocktail here is a white wine spritzer the spritzing is cocaine trying to get with dessert why not october 7th 1986 so he's talking about how he'd been to rehab and now good now yeah octth, 1986, the SWAT team raids his home.

Oh, shit. Not good. No? Not good. SWAT team busts through the door, and they search around his whole house. They don't find shit. Right. They can't find anything.

Check the race link. They find some cash and stuff like that. But, I mean, he's a former heavyweight champ of the world. He should have some cash around. Yeah. So, yeah, they were just walking off. They said just as they were about to leave, somebody just knocked on a wall and said, hmm, it's a false wall. Turns out it's a false wall.

What's back there? Police pulled out the wall, the false wall. He had 11 ounces of cocaine back there. 11 ounces, which is five keys. So he bought five fucking keys of coke and just had them in his wall hanging out. Awesome. That's a shitload of Coke. Yeah.

That's like, hmm, I need some Coke. I'll buy five fucking kilos of it. That is insane. That's the, what are you doing? That's so much Coke, dude. Five keys. Today, there's no way they're letting you have that as or calling it like uh personal use that's well back then they charge him with trafficking yeah they charge him trafficking

then too he's you know he's he's uh charged with uh possession of controlled substance with intent to sell trafficking in a controlled substance it was all packaged yeah today you don't get out of prison for that either no uh they also seized 6500 and he was being held there in lieu of twenty thousand dollars bail so that's it uh yeah that's it twenty thousand dollars bail uh he's charged with all of that five officers also had to subdue him when he resisted arrest because you know he's kind of the heavyweight champ of the world a little bit so filled with cocaine and fueled with i mean coke fucking coming out of his ears just gas you're like we're gonna take you to jail no there's no cocaine there so man

so you put first of all if he's buying five keys of coke at a time you gotta wonder how his finances are doing maybe doing fine well his manager marty cohen says he is he says quote at the age of 53 he'll have a half million dollars in cash tax-free from a bond. He's been investing his shit in long-term stuff for him. Which, I mean, this guy actually did well by him here. He's unpaid financial advisor. He's just trying to help

him out. He says that he will also realize money from a mutual fund that he has quite a bit of money tied up in. And also, he has real estate that he's invested for him and all sorts of shit like that. So he says he has a bunch of stuff out there when he's retired, kind of tiered, so he'll, at this age, he'll get this at this age. That'll come in, so he won't run out of money, basically.

Several things paying dividends. You should really thank this guy for helping him. So February 26, 1987, his court for his cocaine, they end up letting him plead guilty to possession. What? Because they actually are convinced that it's for personal use. They find out through friends, through witnesses, through things that that's how much coke he does. People say he pours it out of the fucking bag onto the floor in a big pile and you just jump in and snort it.

Like, I've never bought any from him, but he'll give you a handful. Say a handful say go ahead and snort it like he's just it's like flour to this guy so the judge says quote it was almost something we would laugh at to see that much cocaine and it's not being sold but it appears that dokes has the financial reserves to buy cocaine like we buy potatoes and had no intention to sell it to others that's unbelievable that's what the judge said you sir may fuck off five years probation uh-huh five years probation so that's what he gets five years probation he's ordered to work 200 hours community service and undergo treatment for his abuse but now he's in the system now he's in this and he donated 6500 in cash that was seized.

He donated it to a half-right house for abused women. That was part of the deal as well. Yeah, all that was a peak of sentence to do it, but he did it anyway. So we're going to give that money we already took, and we're just going to give it to people who need it more than you. We'll donate it to some women that could fucking use some shit. That aren't going to use it to buy mountains of cocaine. They'd just like a new bra since they left it all behind. They left everything.

With the guy that beats the shit out of them. There's women with one shoe. We're going to try to help them out instead. We're going to give them two. Dude, this is ridiculous. That's unbelievable. He should be so lucky. If you got busted with 11 kilos and they were like, probation, you'd be like, ah, you'd

be dancing in the street. 11 ounces, right street 11 ounces 11 ounces sorry five kilos so it's a shitload of coke it's a shitload that's a fuckload of coke that's more than they would re-up on fucking on the on the uh on the low-rise towers in the wire they'd have less than that for a re-up do you understand that's for everybody that's for everybody to buy this is just to have for him to have in his house it's for everybody. That's for everybody to buy. This is just for him to have in his house. It's for the whole neighborhood to ingest. This is fucking crazy. One guy.

One guy. So April 13th, 1987. Should still be counting his lucky stars two months later. Yeah. Instead, he is driving his 1987 Cadillac. No. In Vegas. Upgrade from the Merc.

Yeah. He's speeding and swerving down a street in Las Vegas. In a Cad Merc. Yeah, he's speeding and swerving down a street in Las Vegas. In a caddy. Yeah, he is pulled over and ends up being charged driving under the influence of a controlled substance, being under the influence of a controlled substance, and a probation violation. He had coke on his mustache. Yeah. Like, he was clearly gacked out of his fucking mind, speeding and swerving. Now, normally, it would just be a thousand

dollar bond but the probation violation means no bail yeah he's got to be seen by the judge first and all that shit so remains in jail on that the judge finally determines that yeah you're a fucking loser and uh decides to sentence him to jail here and he is sentenced to 47 days in jail is what he has to do out of this and then after that he has to enroll immediately like on the way out of jail in a rehab program and let already goes back to jail that's the gate that's the deal and he says quote that was the lowest point in my life so far you sir may fuck off indeed um yeah he said the low point was when i realized no matter how much money i had i couldn't get out of jail yeah that's true i was in 47 days because i violated probation

when i finally got my hearing or i'm sorry when i finally got my hearing the judge told me i had 48 hours to get into rehabilitation how do i handle jail your mind is where your butt is okay when i'm in the jungle i act like tarzan at the ball i act like a prince in jail i acted like a convict yeah that makes sense he says that uh this was the lowest point and uh you know he said this was even lower than what he did to get into jail and that was crazy he said because his life had gotten completely out of control he was even involved in quote a few shootouts oh what are you doing why do you have a gun holy why are you shooting at people why are they shooting at you what's happening i assume this is over cocaine but you gotta assume

dude what what the fuck why are you in those situations i don't know you've got enough money to not be in that shit has gotten really out of control for this guy right so he goes through four rehabs in 10 months not great that's great that's four in 10 months that's how bad he is he needs a different rehab for each kilo yeah that's what it was it's like a one for each right he said that it was also um he when he was in recovery he would do crazy shit, too, that he said wasn't really healthy. He says that he would feel like he wanted, he could feel the urge to do it. So he said he would drag himself to his bathtub and get in the bathtub to try to feel better. And from the bathtub, he'd order lobsters to be brought from him from some restaurant. Live ones for the table? No, no, no.

Cooked. Just live ones. Just swim around with me. Take those rubber bands off them, too. Live real dangerous in here. Yeah, that's how we do. I'm not circumcised yet. You know what I'm saying?

I told you I'm Jewish. I want this. I said it. I'll do it. I swear to God. He said, lobsters by taxi. I'd pay the driver, eat, and start feeling good. When I was up to it, I'd go down to the restaurant and pay my bill.

In a few days, I'd start again so it just it was a cycle december uh 17 1987 okay now this is when he starts fighting again he is up from 220 pounds in his last fight to 245 now which is a lot of extra weight he's just got this big gut you You can see it. Is Lobster that fattening? No, he's just not doing coke. Okay. Not exercising as much. The butter. He comes out from the dressing room and tells reporters, quote, I'm clean, baby. I'm good now. Cohen, his manager, said, quote, my man is clean.

Michael is going to make it all the way back. He can beat anybody. He's good now. Right. All right. Well, the felt forum here, he fights Kevin P. Porter, 13 and 5 guy. P-E? P.

Oh, got it. Yeah, his nickname is P. Sometimes there's not a joke in everything. That's the problem with it. I know we try, but that's not going to work. He puts his middle initial in there? As a boxer? Because he goes by KP Porter. Got it. That's his normal thing but it's kevin p porter so whatever the

fuck tko round five for dokes that's good he didn't fucking shit out of it anyway he said he was pleased because his opponent hit him good and he stood up to it he said he caught me with a left hook and i didn't see mickey mouse so i guess i'm all right okay i didn't dream of mickey got it i don't know what the fuck i've never seen him he said now i go into the second stage of training not being a fat fuck yeah he said nautilus weights trees i try to get down another 15 pounds what's he doing with trees i don't know climbing them running with them what the fuck are you doing with them? Chopping them down? Is that a workout? Is that a thing? Like Rocky IV?

I don't know. You run up with a big lock? Or is he chopping them down, maybe? Oh, I could see that. That'd be a workout. He's in Florida. Where's he chopping trees down? Making firewood?

Is he going out into the Everglades? I don't know. What's happening here? He could chop those down pretty easily. Probably, yeah. I think they're pretty thin. You get an axe. It's just cattails.

It's a machete, I think, would work. He said, I'll try to get down another 15 pounds. He says, I'm going up. I'll fight again next month. I want to fight every month I'm at the bottom of the barrel. Yes, he is. So he's 31-2 as he beats the shit out of the Porter guy. January 22nd,

1988, he fights in Atlantic City. He TKO's some nobody in seven rounds uh 31 one and two and um you know he says he's he's he feels like he's all the way back now yeah feels like he's all the way back um but he his manager cohen said that uh it did he said he thought he could help him thought he could help him but then after a while even he started to become convinced that dokes was unhelpful here because he kept doing shit he said quote he started moving in a very fast lane and hanging out with some very bad people as soon as he'd go back to las

vegas you could expect trouble which is a problem because he lives there right that's an issue he's living in vegas yeah he lives there for the boxing and uh and he's not married no kids no kids never married yeah he never got married, never had any kids. Good for him. But he likes the ladies, though. He always has a lot of ladies, three or four at a time. Just never picked one he wanted permanently, I guess. Or none of them wanted him, I don't know.

February 24th, 88 at the Felt Forum, which is the small arena in Madison Square Garden. It's like another floor where they hold, it's like 4,500, 5,000 seats, versus Eddie Richardson, a 13-10 fighter. Michael TKO's him in 10 rounds. Not bad, 32-1-2. April 28th, 88 at the Felt. This is for the same thing, Continental America's heavyweight title,

which is bullshit. James Pritchard he fights, who's 18-1 coming in, so not bad. TKO in seven he fights, who's 18-1 coming in, so not bad. TKO in seven for Michael, 33-1-2. June 27th, 88 at MSG. He's not fucking around. It's every month pretty much. He fights Andrew Stokes, 12-4-1 coming in.

This is a TKO in the first round. Michael knocks him down three times, and that's the rule there. So three knockdown rule in effect. That's the end of that fight. 34-1-2 for Michael. So he seems to be making a comeback. July 28th, exactly a month later, 88 at Felt Forum. Manuel de Alameda, 3-6-2 coming in.

And this guy does not come out for the fifth round. He quit. Yeah, a lot of times that happens. They won't come out for the fifth round so that's what he quit and yeah a lot of times that happens they won't come out for the fifth round or for a round and uh so michael wins that one 35 one and two september 29th 1988 things are going great right it's on back on track back on track he's fighting every month he's winning he's fighting well he fought a little too much uh apparently of mainly with his girlfriend is the problem is it wasn't a sanctioned fight and it wasn't in a ring it was in their apartment and he beat the shit out of her really uh yeah he broke six of her ribs and her jaw um that's too

much that's crazy during that's a beating that's a beating this is they lived in los angeles at the time and this was outside their Los Angeles home. He did this outdoors. Sustained punching on a woman outdoors. An alfresco domestic violence is not okay. Wow. You can't do that. No.

That's not. I was using it for his terminology. Yeah. I got it. What the fuck? Just for him. It's a real chilled beating. That's what it is.

In LA, that's highly frowned upon was like a beating on the patio or in the main dining room you know what i'm saying like today what the fuck man um yeah he's taken into custody by sheriff's deputies they responded to a call of an assault in progress by one of the neighbors there's a guy beating the shit out of a woman here large man little woman large man small woman so yeah her name michelle Woods. She was there both 30 at the time. And, yeah, they found dokes and them outside arguing. And she was suffering from multiple injuries. Declined medical treatment at the scene.

Would not take it. But she ended up going to a private doctor. She just didn't want them involved, the police, to be involved in the whole thing. She's got broken ribs. Broken ribs, broken jaw. Oh, boy. Yeah. One of the officers said he was

quite agitated when deputies arrived but he did not resist arrest well he learned his lesson on that one i guess um so she sought private medical treatment and was told that she had a broken jaw six broken ribs and then bruises and contusions he beat the shit out of literally bodied like he he treated her like he had her with a combo like Yeah. He set her up with the left and right. Like a real firing match. Yeah, that's fucking wild. He went to the body, for Christ's sake. Yeah, a lot.

That's wild. Six. You don't do that with one punch. Maybe. Big old heavyweight champion hands. You could probably get six. Or that's maybe two. Who knows?

So, October 27th, 88, he's fighting again. Doesn't matter. Domestic violence in boxing isn't a concern, I'm sure. Same fight. Same fight. Felt for him. He fights Curtis the Coffee Man Isaac. Okay.

That's because he's like, I used to sell coffee on the street. Then I started fighting. And he's 12 and 6, this guy. They pulled me out of section 203. Hey, it's pretty cool, right? I said, coffee! They were like, you got a strong voice, pal. How's your right hook?

Here I am. 12 and 6. I can do it. TKO in the fourth round for Michael. 36, 1 and 2. So he can beat up coffee vendors as well as women. Good for him. December 9th, 88 at Convention Hall in Atlantic City.

He fights Rocky Sikorsky, who's 22 and 8. This is a unanimous decision win. He's 37, 1 and 2 now. That's the end of 88. And then Ring Magazine named Doakes the comeback fighter of the year for 1988. He just beat up a woman. He just beat up a woman. What the fuck?

But he's not in jail anymore, and he's winning fights. So that's better than his 87, I guess. But they ignored that one thing. Isn't he great? Let's celebrate. He only had six successful fights in the ring and one outside the ring. He's not being arrested for kilos of coke. That's helpful, but still, I'd rather have him be.

He's not hurting anybody if he's snorting coke in his house. I don't care about that. Don't punch women. He's blasting his girlfriend in public. In public. That's disturbing. Wow. March 11th, 1989, at Caesars in Vegas, he fights evander holyfield really this is a 20 and

oh holyfield holyfield on the cusp this is right after this is when he wants to fight tyson and he becomes the huge star that you knew him as in the 90s this is the very beginning of it here the beginning of the real deal this is his first big test for holyfield where you're going to fight a real fighter um holyfield before the fight said you know dokes fight a real fighter. Holyfield, before the fight, said, you know, Doakes is a good fighter, but he's not too worried about it because he believes that Michaels damaged his body too much to be a serious contender. So Mike says about this that...

Healthy jab? Yeah, he's like, what are you talking about? He believes that he's fine. He said, I've never had a heart attack, a stroke, or brain damage. I don't have any cardiovascular problems need cardiovascular problems yeah he goes we're just talking about putting impurities in your body i don't know if holyfield drinks alcohol i take supplements that strengthen my body outwardly and inwardly i take ginseng a chinese korean remedy that heals you inside i've we know what we get it maybe an 89 maybe not yeah i've

been taking it two years straight it It slows aging, gives you endurance. I take amino acids to revitalize my muscles. I feel better than when I was 24. I've had two years of cleansing. No alcohol, no beer, not even aspirin for headaches. I've visualized this fight so many times, and not once have I seen the ref raise Holyfield's hand. So, yeah. Sounds like every clerk at GNC, though.

He's going to work. Yeah, I'm taking all these supplements, and that's fine. And every 48-year-old woman and every 55-year-old guy who's going to try to get back into shape. I'm going to tell you about ginseng. Jesus, that'll do it. Yeah, they sell it in packets at the gas station. It's probably not an effective medical treatment for anything. It's in almost every tea.

Yeah, exactly. not an effective medical treatment for anything. It's in almost every tea. Yeah, exactly. So Lou Duva, who's the trainer of Holyfield, said, if anything happens, blame me. I pick dokes. Hey, we keep telling people that if Evander is a legitimate title contender,

we have to prove it. People say we've been trying to do it with mirrors. Dokes ain't no mirror. They needed someone that people respected that wasn't a pushover, basically. He's saying he picked him as his opponent, not as we're betting on dope exactly i picked him to win the fight i'm not gonna lie i mean i'm hoping hollyfield does it but hollyfield's team i trained him he's a great guy but money at six to two on the other guy i'm not gonna lie it's a little better i mean you know

that's the way it is you try to take the dollar wherever you can you know what i'm saying i was a little confused for a sec yeah so this is an amazing fight this is a fucking war they beat the shit out of each other for 10 rounds awesome it is awesome michael ends up suffering a tko loss in the 10th but man is it a fucking war i mean it is a goddamn battle we'll talk about how good it is holyfield said i'm glad it's over he said that michael dokes is a great champion champion he did kick the cocaine habit throughout the fight i'd shake him with one punch but he'd be able to shake it off i didn't want him to shake it off and come back again so he's he has respect for him now cohen who's now 91 years old at this point in time

said that michael's lost michael lost tonight but it was a heroic loss any other heavyweight tonight except tyson would have been knocked dead uh the ring magazine named the dokes holyfield fight the best uh one of the best heavyweight they had like a top 10 one of the best heavyweight fights of the 1980s so of the entire decade it was oh i'm sorry the best heavyweight fight of the 1980s number one number one it was on the list so yeah best heavyweight fight of the entire decade, it was, oh, I'm sorry, the best heavyweight fight of the 1980s. Number one. Number one it was on the list. So, yeah, best heavyweight fight of the 80s that he's involved in. It was a war.

Was it 89? 89. It was a fucking war. July 13th, 89, he fights Bobby Crabtree, a blonde guy. Yeah. He beats up a white guy after every, see, he lost and he's going to beat up a blonde. Find me a blonde guy. Right.

I mean, blonde, a ginger, something. No, that guy's fucking Greek. I want a fucking like a I want like a German or like a like a Swede or somebody. I could really somebody on the ball. That's what I want. I'm looking for here. So Bobby Crabtree is thirty five. Twenty one.

A minute. Forty six. It takes for dokes to knock him out. He is. This is a, you know, a tomato can to push over here, basically. Now, August 24th, 89 at the Felt, he fights Wesley Watson. TKO in three rounds, 39, two and two. He's back at the Forum in LA on November 13th, 1989, fighting Lionel Washington.

And TKO in eight rounds there. 40 wins, two losses, two draws. February 5th, 1990, back at the forum again. Jorge Alfredo Descola, otherwise known as El Gringo. Okay. Okay? You don't sound like it from your name. Seen a picture of him.

He's from Argentina, so I don't know. Not much of a gringo. 14-2 he is. TKO round 11 42 from 1 2 and 2 april 4th 1990 michael still for 240 pounds at this point okay he talks about this next fight that he's fighting razor ruddick who was a great fighter at madison square garden but he has fantasies of rather than doing that he wishes he was coming out to wrestle hulk hogan or the ultimate warrior in madison square garden that's what he wants he was coming out to wrestle Hulk Hogan or the Ultimate Warrior at Madison Square Garden.

That's what he wants. He said, quote, I would be the Dark Destroyer or maybe the Handsome Stranger. He said that would be his wrestling name. Sounds like shit, right? Handsome Stranger's terrible. You think so, right?

It's terrible. Well, one year later, in Global Wrestling, which was based out of Dallas, it was on ESPN, Marcus Bagwell, better known as Buff Bag Dallas, it was on ESPN, Marcus Bagwell, better known as Buff Bagwell, Buff, was known as what, Jimmy? The Handsome Stranger.

How do you think he came to the ring? Did he hand out roses? Handed out roses to the ladies at ringside. Literally, Bill Eadie, who was at Demolition X, who was the guy booking it at the time, read the fucking paper and stole it. Loved it. That is too much of a coincidence that less than a year later, there's the guy booking it at the time, read the fucking paper and stole it. Loved it. That is too much of a coincidence that less than a year later, there's a guy with the exact

gimmick that he just said. That sounded like shit. He was like, well, that sounds good. Billy reads the newspaper is what we find out from that. Ridiculous. Ruddick comes in. It's a TKO loss this time for Doakes. Ruddick was nasty. He was a nasty son of a bitch, Razor Ruddock.

His nickname was Razor. That's pretty cool. He's going to fuck you up. That's pretty rad. So 41-3-2, but they each make half a million dollars for that fight, so that's not bad. January 14, 1991, Marty Cohen said his phone rang early on a Sunday morning, and he said he knew it was coming. He could sense something

was wrong oh boy this is bad for a 92 year old man at this point he's got coke keep me out of this shit what are we doing he said quote i knew michael was in trouble he said he hurried out of the door to catch the next flight to las vegas he's in his 90s leave this man alone right he didn't hurry very he said he shuffled i shuffled out shuffled right on that flight he said i really don't know what's going on well what happened was michael got arrested again he was driving a mercedes uh which he was stopped for speeding on us 95 and uh told he was under arrest he said he wasn't going yeah no thank you you know that's not a thing that you can do. Just no, thanks. I'm good. And he ran away from his car. On foot.

On foot. He ran from his Mercedes on the street, which I don't know what the, there's no forethought there. So far, he's doing so much better in every arrest. Like he stopped in a Merc, then he stopped in a Caddy. Now he's got a Mercedes. Now he's got a Mercedes. It's getting better.

He's failing so far upwards. It's getting better. This is the exact opposite of usual. Totally. So why would he run away from his car well when he ran away he tossed a bag containing a white powder from his pocket into a parking lot as he ran and the police saw it picked it up yeah and um it's cocaine hey shocking whatever they found michael hiding in a vacant lot not Not good, man. Hiding in a, what, behind one of those parking blocks?

I picture him like, yeah, like behind some steps. Standing sideways behind a streetlight? Like a kid whose mom is mad at him and looking for him. He's got a big old gut now. He's not hiding behind any streetlight. You'd see him. Who's that big fat motherfucker behind me on that streetlight? You see an afro and a jerry curl at this point

and then uh a big gut so he's booked for uh cocaine possession influence of a controlled substance resisting arrest destroying evidence speeding failing to register with police as an ex-felon something you have to do in vegas at the time i don't know because it was a gambling thing that way when gangsters came to town they'd have to register or else they could arrest them for not registering it was a way to it was a way to fuck with italians if i'm being honest you want honesty it's a way to fuck with italian people as it was it's not a very gracious thing to do for the people that built your city no it's not but that's how they try when they wanted to muscle us out and bring in the fucking corporations that's how they tried to do it so yeah fuck your mothers all you we all have jobs thank you for that and we'll now arrest you yeah there you go so yeah uh he's released uh posting

a bond of 9800 and there he is where is he now rehab really back at rehab here he's in rehab uh he said he roomed with an alcoholic who said he drank over a quart of vodka a day and he said that his roommate's withdrawal really fucked him up. He didn't like it. He said, quote, he couldn't walk. He couldn't talk. He sat with a towel over his face. He thought things were crawling on him.

Scariest thing I ever saw. Ugliest thing I ever saw. From booze. From booze. So he's in there and he's in there, but he's like, fuck, man, I want to cook. He's in rehab. This isn't his normal thing. He likes to cook. He likes to, you know, he's got a certain style's like fuck man i want to cook yeah he's in rehab this isn't his normal thing he likes to cook he likes to you know he's got a certain style he wants to make clothes so

he's like i gotta make this better for myself who can i call only one man and it's dexter manly interior designer from new york city and he says how is it that you've come to arrive here like seriously you're like you're in rehab again sir listen listen to me yeah you've beaten your girlfriend like outside right like it's one thing to have domestic fun no one should be hitting anyone jesus keep your hands to yourself mister but behind closed doors in the house jesus christ You know what it is when you do it outside? It's white trash. It's white trash. That's what you...

Sir, I'm sorry. You are white trash, sir. I'm sorry. I see it all. You're being pulled... You're running in the streets from police, flinging baggies of coke. No. No.

If you have it, just say, here it is, officer. I'm going to be arrested now. I'm a rich man. I have a lawyer, and I'll take care of it. You don't run away like white trash, which is you are sir you're white trash i don't care how big your afro is right white trash poof and in a in a poof of boas and glitter he's gone and uh michael really had a couple questions for him and he's pissed he's like i wanted to know shit i had some questions about his outfit i like that boa i want to make. He's like, I could have made him better pants, man.

You know, he was into it, into the whole thing here. So November 29th, 1991, Michael fights in Vegas and he weighs 277 pounds. That's big. That's real big. That is 57 pounds heavier than his like best good fighting weight of 220. Likely not athletic 270. No. And he's fighting John Big Red morton hell yeah one guess on what

color he is red he's had a hard time so he's 10 and 18 coming in yeah michael wins with a unanimous decision then he fights tyrone armstrong uh ko in the fourth which is a good win for him there then he fights at the union plaza casino danny Stonewalker, TKO in the sixth. Then February 14th, 1992. He's down to 254 pounds now. He's doing better. He's at the Aladdin in Vegas. He fights Dan Wofford and knocks him out in the ninth. So he's 45-3-2, doing well.

March 21st, 1992. He's still 254. Hasn't gained any. That's good. He's in Cleveland. He's fighting Purcell Magic davis magic he's magic he's 14 and 2 and purcell magically doesn't come out for the sixth round he magically sits on his stool and stays there made himself disappear he's like maybe they won't notice me i can just

disappear uh so that's a win um so yeah things are going well people are talking to michael again and they're asking him about his life and he said quote i'm glad that now i did those drugs because it took me somewhere i didn't want to be okay coming back you can't even imagine to rise to the point where i am now it gives you strength that you can believe i'm good now right he said everything is different for me now and i don't do drugs or drink my lifestyle lifestyle, my thought patterns are different. I evaluate things more thoroughly now, more in depth, and the people I surround myself with are good people.

They're not envious, vindictive people. Yeah. Okay. So he's fighting April 16th, 1992. He's down to 239 pounds. Good. Not bad. He fights Danny Smiley Sutton.

Why would you call yourself Smiley if you're a boxer? That doesn't sound tough. Somebody else did bad. He fights Danny Smiley Sutton. Why would you call yourself Smiley if you're a boxer? That doesn't sound tough. Somebody else did that. I'm sure. He just hung on to it because he loved it. Sure, why not? Maybe. My mom told me to use it because I'm very happy. This is a third round knockout for Michael. 47-3-2. July 28, 1992.

Back up to 258 again. That's alright. He's to Harrods, Atlantic City. He fights Jesse the that's all right. He's to Harrods, Atlantic City. He fights Jesse, the Boogeyman Ferguson, who that's a unanimous decision. Win again, 48, 3-2. Then he fights down in Miami, 258 pounds, by the way. Jose El Nino Rebalta. So he causes the weather patterns.

Good for you. 31, 8-1. Very nice. Unanimous decision win for Michael October 27th 92 in Phoenix he fights Mr. Smooth

Barry Forbes 92 92 where the fuck did they fight well I believe it's Club Rio because he has another

fight at Club Rio later on really Club Rio they did boxing there we've had another guy fight at Club Rio too I don't remember that

it was recently the last six months I would say good lord this is Mr. Smooth's last fight because he loses Another guy fight at Club Rio, too. I don't remember that. It was recently. The last six months, I would say. Good Lord. This is Mr. Smooth's last fight, because he loses. 50th win for Mike, though. 53-2.

Not a lot of guys have 50 wins in boxing. That's a very impressive record. Oh, 50 wins, three losses, two draws is fucking... You'd look at that and go, wow, I'd love to have that record in anything. And one of those losses was to Holyfield. One of those losses was to a prime holyfield yeah it's not bad at all pretty impressive it is uh february 16th 1993 this is his big chance here um basically he's meat for for bow yeah riddick bow needs a title defense we talked about riddick bow in our riddick bow episode it was awesome uh riddick bow is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world at this point yeah he's the biggest thing there is and basically they need meat for him they need somebody that he can just beat the shit out of

that's a legitimate heavyweight so michael dokes is your perfect guy and uh he's gonna fight riddick bow riddick bow is 32 and 0 and really good height of his powers if you look at it on paper and you don't know much about boxing, you see those two records against each other, you can't wait to see this. That's what I mean. It's awesome. February 6, 1993, this is. He's down to 244 pounds for this, too, so he took it seriously. Same weight as Bowe.

Bowe is 244 as well. In shape. They weigh in exactly. He still looks heavier. That's light for Bowe, heavy for him. Okay. So before the fight he's he's got a lot to say yeah he's he's in a restaurant right before he goes to the arena

he's eating dinner first yeah we'll talk about what he's eating because that's the most hilarious part he says i always knew i could fight for the heavyweight title again that's the only reason i'm here and you know why because i can fight fight. If nothing else, I can do that. He says, this is going to be a war. Bo talks about my looks, but he must be thinking we're going to a beauty pageant. I've got news for him. This is no beauty pageant. It's a war.

This story couldn't have been written any better if I'd written the script myself. But I wouldn't take any of what I've gone through for the world. So he's going to do it, man. He's going to do it. They asked him about, did you miss being champion? And he said, I don't miss nothing. Okay? That was then. This is now. I don't dwell on anything. Good. That's good.

He said, to me, one of the great successes in life is to be able to forget the past and get on with my life. Why carry all this baggage from 1982? Isn't that going to determine what I'll do in 1993? It won't help me pay my bills. Fair enough. He said, look at me.

He's sitting in his restaurant at this point. With all my bleeding heart, I can tell you honestly, I believe in myself and my ability. I have no qualms, no hangups, no remorse, no resentment, no guilt. There's been no missing training, no women, no hang up no no hang ups no remorse no resentment no guilt there's nothing there's been no training there's been no missing training no women no alcohol this thing with bow is the

second biggest fight of my life i won the big battle over drugs my conscious is clear i found the inner strength to deal with my turmoil and there is nothing greater for a man than belief in thyself okay he literally said thyself wow yeah before the fight by the way while he's saying all this he's doing it in between bites yeah of food yeah pre-fight guys don't usually eat a lot if they do it's some protein beforehand lean protein shit whatever maybe a couple of lobsters in the bath definitely not carbs no you don't carb up right before a fight usually you definitely don't eat pasta no um no but he is he is eating a giant plate of pasta and baked soul as well on the side yeah

yeah baked soul so they asked him why are you doing that yeah what's going on seems crazy that's crazy you're gonna have the heavyweight champion of the world punching you in like an hour right what are you doing he says you know this so short, I can't do it in their own words, but it's worth it. He says, Jesus Christ, quote, the past is history. The future isn't here yet. And the present is linguine and clam sauce. And then he ate the rest of his food. And then he went and fought.

And the present is linguine and clam sauce. He should know that that doesn't go well. Wow. That's not a good pairing. He makes 750 grand for this fight. Really? That's not bad. Yeah. He's a champ. He's a pay-per-view. He put that shit in his belly and went and fought Riddick Bowe. Didn't care.

750. 750. Line it up. Fuck it. Madison Square Garden, Bowe, like I said, undisputed champion. 32-0. This fight only lasts two minutes and 19 seconds. Right, because he's got a belly full of fucking Linguini and clamshells. He's got a prime of his life heavyweight champ pounding the piss out of him. Not going to work here.

Linguini doesn't pair well with a belly punch. No. 50 wins, four losses now. Jesus, that's the dumbest thing ever ever he had to have shit like mad after that oh he probably shit his pants and he got punched shot linguine out the back of him that'll fall out fast jesus uh august 1993 gravity's bad enough with that yeah i'm telling you man it's fucking rough he's gonna get punched too idea what an idea august 1993 he's driving his 1991 lexus um he's driving it's a white two-door he's driving north on us 441 near oakland park in lauderdale lakes it's 6 20 a.m uh he turned

right to head east on oakland park boulevard uh he had the right of way but he took the turn wide into the other lanes of oncoming traffic where there was no traffic coming. But what was there was James Richard Truitt, who was an Orlando Sun Sentinel newspaper vendor on the street selling to cars when they stop at traffic like bubbles in the wire there. That's what he's doing. The same thing. He hits him. Doakes hits him with the car. Pretty good.

He hit the cars, hit the hood, went up the windshield, and fell onto the pavement. He's airlifted to Broward General Medical Center in Fort Lauderdale, where he's treated for head injuries. They said he suffered head lacerations, bumps, and bruises. The hospital spokesman said he's a lucky man that he survived. They said speed was not a factor in the accident, just the fact that he took the turn too wide. But they're pending results for a blood alcohol test because Doakes' speech was slurred, which we'll find out might not have been the alcohol.

And he had trouble walking, which again, injuries are never, but the problem is he reeked of booze, they said as well. They said that Doakes told them that he had been drinking as well, but Doakes said that he denied that he was drinking later on. He said, quote, I told them I had one cocktail four hours earlier, 2.30 in the morning, probably closing time or whatever.

He said at that time of the morning, who wants to be drinking? Alcoholics, you know, people like to drink that sort of thing. And he said that the windows were fogged up on the car early morning the way it was windows were foggy and he said quote i couldn't see where i was going so he couldn't see the lane and he hit this guy luckily the guy survived and he was okay uh he stopped after the accidents deputies arrived they noticed that he was unstable on his feet they smelled his breath he gave a blood sample and like i said admitted that he was you know whatever uh now the police say they're going to investigate the whole thing he says it's not unusual for our traffic homicide people to take

time to put together a case it's not a situation where we need to charge him immediately a lot of the evidence has to be developed and the toxicology tests will take several days before we know what his alcohol level was november 8th 1995 he's fighting again in aurora illinois he is 275 pounds uh he fights dave slaughter as in lambs to the because he's fucked uh knocked him out in three rounds just dave slaughters a 529 in one fighter so what do you want there exactly sergeant not exactly the sarge there uh july 27 96, he's up to 288 pounds now. Oh, boy. Whoa.

Yeah. That's fat. That's some butter beans. He's so fat, dude. He's so fat. This is the Lucky Eagle Casino in Rochester, New York. Oh, no. Long way from Madison Square Garden.

Yeah. Holy shit. That's the Aladdin. This isn't even the Dune. I was going to say, this isn't even the Riviera. Right. He fights Dave Fidler, who's not even a fighter. He's an actual fiddler.

He just comes to the ring playing, and he's like, oh, I don't know. And he beat him up. He's 14-19-2, the fiddler. KO in the second round for Doakes. 1997 comes along. By the way, he's 52-4-2. 1997 comes along. He wants to fight, but New Jersey and Florida won't license him due to brain damage.

They don't want to give him a license due to the brain damage. And he's like, what the fuck, dude? He goes, it's really hard to get licensed now. No one wants to license me. And he said, this is his quote. Let's do in their own words on this one, because this is this is truly one of the most bonkers fucking things ever. Brain damage. Here it comes in their own words. Qu one because this is this is truly one of the most bonkers fucking things ever brain damage here it comes in their own words quote what the hell if i slur a word here and there what do you expect from a guy who's been fighting 30 years i can still enunciate i can still communicate i'll take their ekgs their eegs and cat scans but i can do everything everyone else does. And in a lot of cases, do it better.

So what if I slur my words once? That shows brain damage. That's the point. That's a good indicator. You can't even, your brain's not communicating to your mouth the words how they need to come out. That's how fucked up your brain is. Do you get it? That's incredible.

Yeah. That's why I was saying I don't know if he was slurring because he was drunk. He might have been slurring because he's punch drunk. He's got some problems, yeah. Yeah. But he says that he's going to do great. He says he's not doing drugs. He says, now I don't even think about this stuff. Now I work out a little, go eat sushi, get home to watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.

I'm planning on getting married in July. They never get married. I'm thinking about working at a casino job, too. I'm great with people. I'm colorful and can run my mouth all day long. The way I see it, I've got only two or three years left in boxing. Two or three years. Maybe a lot less.

Let's lean toward that. Maybe a lot less. A lot less. This fight here will tell me if I should continue. Dude, he just doesn't get it. And they license him to do it? He just doesn't get it. He thinks he's fucking fine. You almost feel bad for the fucking guy because he's brain damaged and i mean i feel

bad for him not nearly as bad as i feel for michael dokes service delivery manager at telstra in sydney australia michael dokes director at west rock in l of the UK, obviously. And finally, Michael Doakes, a cook at Little Caesars Pizza in Detroit. That's a loose term of cook. Come on. I had to find a cook in there somewhere, you know? I love that he's a cook. Yeah, I do. Little Caesars.

That's in Detroit, a Detroit Little Caesars. How dare you call that food prep? Here it is, Jimmy. December 10th, 1996. yeah club rio in tempe which was an awful disgusting dance club with jizz all over the floor it's vile and i've done stand up there did you really fuck yeah i did stand up there dude how long has it been closed oh this was years and years ago they paid me me like $100 to do fucking 10 minutes for like eight people. That's a deal.

And it was the whole floor. There was 100 tables. It was eight people. Oh, my. And I just took the mic. It was wireless, luckily. Who was running that? So I was walking around.

I won't say her name. But it's a person who we know. And yeah, it was me and a couple other people. And you just had to go out and... Club Rio. It was rough, rough dude it was weird super weird it was hot yeah anyway club rio he is 290 pounds now that's obscene that's 70 pounds over and even 75 pounds over his original weight too much he fights dig him up doug davis because

he probably works for the you know the fucking company, and he digs up pipes. That's why they call him that. He's just a grave digger. Oh, he's a grave digger. Well, that'd be a reverse grave digger. Yeah. Dig him up. He's an exhumer.

Dig him down. He's 8, 20, and 1 coming in, so he's been digging up his own fucking grave here. Unanimous decision win for Michael. April 5th, 1997, in Denver, he fights Louis the Facelifter Monaco. I like that. That's an interesting one. 280 pounds now for Mike. Michael is knocked down in the first round, but then he recovers.

I think it was just his belly weight. Sure. Knocked him off balance. And it goes all 10 rounds and he loses on points to this fucking bum who's five six and two career he's got to know it's about over at that point right yeah uh no why does everybody that's at the end of their career have the best nicknames they do right all these guys are good they're good this guy's not so good he fights next he's 280 pounds in 1997 he fights at peels uh peels place in erlinger k Kentucky, which is as far from Madison Square Garden as you could possibly be.

He fights Paul Rocky Phillips, who's 19-3. This is a TKO loss in the second round. Michael's jaw is broken in this one. Really? And they stop the fight, and that's about it for him. 53-6-2 for his career. That's his last fight there. 1998 comes along because that's the end of 97.

He wants to get involved in pro wrestling. So he does. He becomes a wrestler in Jim Barrier. I don't even know who this is. I know this shit. Las Vegas-based Buffalo Wrestling Association. They actually wrestle Buffalo. I think it probably is.

He's known as The Player. He should have went with Playboy Young Louie as his name, but he's known as The Player in this. I'm sure that lasted three weeks. And his wrestling career is cut short because August 1998 here, August 10th, 1990, or not August 10th, August 15th, 1998,

it's at 5 a.m yeah and his girlfriend of 10 years comes home from the janet jackson concert that she went to see okay that's nice 5 a.m yeah she played late nah she's out who knows stopping your food with your friends you do the whole thing you gotta wait till three to see her tits that's the thing if you if you hang out that long she starts taking pieces off. So she walked in and Michael greeted her with a punch in the face. Oh, no. It gets worse. Beat her horribly.

Beat her. Beat her. Beat her. Holds her for six hours, continuously beating her and sexually assaulting her and then beating her some more and just beats her a lot over the course of six hours um she said that she was held for six hours before being he let her out she didn't have to run away didn't have to whatever uh just before she left she says that doke sexually assaulted her because he wanted to have sex one more time before going to jail he

told her yeah well yeah he's fucking gonna kill this woman uh she says quote i finally begged my way out of there the attack left the her face beaten so badly that arresting officers could not recognize her from her driver's license photo she didn't look like a person she looked like a fucking i don't even know a pile of meat. Ridiculous. He beat her so badly that he is charged with attempted murder. That's how badly she was hurt and beaten and how badly he hit her. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. He's charged with attempted murder, kidnapping, battery with intent to commit sexual assault.

Sexual assault. He's got a lot of charges that are very bad here. He goes to court um january 25th or i'm sorry in in november first he pleads not guilty and then he ends up pleading guilty he took a plea he has to there's no i mean he beat the shit out of this poor woman why would you ever drop the charges on that it's crazy so january 25th 2000 he's sentenced it's for attempted murder though he is being sentenced for attempted murder during the sentencing hearing um the the victim she spoke she said quote he needs to be put away he has hurt too many people the next time he's going to kill somebody yeah

i would agree with that um he michael in his talking to the judge he described what he did as an overreaction oh boy you think holding someone and raping them beating them for six hours i'd call that an overreaction to anything uh he said because she pulled a knife on him and that was the overreaction he says quote i've been taught all my life to defend myself first and i guess my reactions were without thought so you beat her for six hours but she pulled a knife first and then you it took six hours to get it away from her right seems like uh one shot she probably would have dropped it and then you could call the police and say i've been assaulted with a knife by this crazy woman or you hold her for six hours and beat her and rape her and then go well sorry fuck that i

see him beating her she grabbing a knife and him disarming her and then six more hours fucking beating her more that's exactly right he says uh that he was remorseful he says quote there's no excuse for my actions i love that woman with all my heart this is very oj i truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with her as husband and wife the judge says the severity of the crime outweighed the numerous letters and testimonials offered by friends and business associates and people like that that have been sent to the court try to keep him out of jail what kind of good a person he was how much charity work he does the judge says with your physical attributes she could have been killed

very easily your hands are dangerous weapons you sir may fuck off 10 years in prison not fucking around 10 years for attempted murder in 98 in 98 2000 is when the sentencing finally comes down january 2000 10 years in prison That is a minimum of four years and two months in that sentence. But he can be held for ten when he's paroled. But we'll find out about it. He doesn't get his first parole because of an incident here. July 7, 2000.

His mom dies. That's sad. I like Sephora. I'm tired. I'm sad she died. But she was like 75 years old. It happens. What are you going to do? July 2004. Michael is in solitary confinement in the Indian Springs Southern Desert Correctional Center for breaking the jaw of another inmate. Because that's going to happen when you've got a heavyweight champ in jail. They're going to try you. Well, no, this wasn't even trying.

And this was during an unsanctioned sparring session. The guys want to spar. They want to learn to box. He's former heavyweight champ of the world. Broke a jaw in sparring. Broke a jaw. Inmate and a prison employee independently confirmed that he'd been in prison's Unit 8, which was the hole since the incident happened.

The inmate said that the incident occurred in the prison's gym, where they're allowed to work out in a shadow box, but not allowed to spar with each other, which makes sense. You don't want people punching each other in prison that leads to stabbings the inmate though said that at least three corrections officers were witnessing the sparring sessions they let michael get away with a little bit more because he was guys were learning from him and a matter it wasn't a matter of if he got them they were going to get mad and attack him he just kicked the shit out of him so nobody was challenging his superiority with hands. So it was one of those things.

So an employee who spoke on the condition of anonymity said, it's common knowledge in the prison that dokes will spar with anyone to give them an opportunity to boast that they worked with a former. They worked out with a former world champ. Like I sparred with that guy. So he'll do it anytime. The only condition that the sparring partners that is on it is to not hit him in the face don't punch dokes in the face he does not like that shit okay we're going to the body we're shadow boxing no fucking punching me in the face so somebody caught him somebody decided that they

might want to punch him in the face i guess an inmate punched dokes in the face during the sparring section and dokes responded with a real real hard fucking shot to the jaw he got serious for two seconds and went oh you think that's as hard as i can hit the way i've been hitting you i'll sting you good broke his fucking punched him in the face broke his jaw um he thought he was all right but then learned his jaw was broken later on uh the gym supervisor had gone to the bathroom at the time of the incident, apparently. The injured inmate got transferred away, and he got put in solitary. Doakes did. And so that means he's going to be denied his parole for this incident because he's obviously not a model citizen.

He's in there for assault, and he's breaking more jaws. So, yeah. So they said, what is this? So they said, what is this? The director of the Department of Prisons said, I can tell you that Michael Doakes was not involved in any unsanctioned prison sparring session because sparring is not allowed at the prison. You know, all the employees and other prisoners went, yeah, they were sparring right over there. And then this happened. He said that Doakes is usually a well-behaved inmate. Um, he said another guy who's a noted, a noted Vegas gambler and sports handicapper,

capper, Len banker, a friend of dokes said that, uh, said that dokes was talking about wanting to run a prison boxing program and all that sort of shit here. He wants to teach children and blah, blah, blah. Who cares? You can't do that. I don't give a shit about any of that. 2008. He is paroled, uh, finally.

So he did over eight years. What? That's a long time. He lived in Vegas for a while, which seems dangerous. Before 2010, he returns to live with family in Akron, back to Ohio. August 11, 2012, this is the day after his birthday. August 10th is his birthday. At 54, Michael dies in hospice care from liver cancer.

Wow. Yeah, he got out apparently. It happened very quickly. He had just been diagnosed, I think, earlier in that year or late in 2011. Dead. Wow.

Hospice care in Akron, 54, done. What a life. Isn't that crazy, dude? How crazy is that fucking life? He lived so fast fast and hard and done and gone it's like almost the perfect ending for it shooting star style you know um 2013 in march his family wants a street named after him what come on which street uh the one leading to prison i would say if there's a street to jail whatever street the jail's on name that up michael dokes

avenue it goes right through the big gate in the front they want this in like downtown they want it in akron named after him they said he's the only heavyweight champ to ever hail from akron so let's give him a street they said they're not opposed the family members said they're not opposed to an alternative way to recognize him but they think it needs to be marked in the hometown his sister said quote to be honest it's about redemption we all have we all have indiscretions in our personal lives. He almost killed two women. That's not an indiscretion. I don't give a shit about the cocaine, but don't beat women.

Michael did not ask for this recognition, but he earned it. Family and friends have been searching for a way to honor him. They want to rename Rhodes Avenue in Akron where they grew up up, to be, you know, Michael Doakes. Only if that's the street in town where you get Coke. Or that, yeah, on the track, you know. They began gathering signatures of residents along the area. They collected 80 signatures of people who live on the street. And then they wrote to the mayor and asked, you know, could they do it there?

Council members told family and friends there wasn't enough support on the council or in the administration for renaming the street because of his criminal history, obviously. He says his council president said, quote, Council President Gary Moneypenny? That sounds made up. Yeah. Wow, but it's real. I think we feel we have to set a very high standard to rename a street after someone.

We had serious reservations that Michael Doakes met that standard. I would say they did suggest alternatives, such as a bench, a large rock with a plaque on it, or a sign at the corner of roads in another street. They also said something could be done on private property from one of the property owners who support the wishes. Hey, why don't you put it in someone's yard? Wouldn't that be nice?

You can do anything you want in your own yard. You yard weld some shit to a rock somewhere so who knows can't get enough of michael dokes no there's plenty there's plenty uh well you can get a signed glove of his for 125 bucks on ebay or this badass fight worn robe oh that is badass from 90 it's signed by him michael dynamite dokes on the back it is fucking bad is that thing like white and gray it's gray and uh it's gray with the red lettering and the red bucket it's cool 795 for that bad boy but he wore it that's yeah this is the fight that he wore to fight razor ruttick this is the razor ruttick fight that's pretty badass oh it's fucking awesome that's cool as shit so that my friends is michael dynamite dokes dynamite get yourself a rose and a big pile of big pile of linguine and clams because that is a hell of a fucking story wild so heartbreaking you know

it's very heartbreaking you root for that guy because he's fun well i mean he's smart and he's fun and i don't care about coke but then he starts beating women you're like oh he fucked it up from the start he was 14 didn't matter he held on for a long time held together for a long time with the coke not a long time and you're all through your whole teens usually it's like a year and a half and these guys are getting arrested and everything else he held out for a while good for you mike but i always knew of michael Doakes from boxing, but I'd seen him here and there, but I never knew all of this shit.

And I found him looking somebody else up, and there was an article about his arrest on the other page, and I was like, did he get arrested a lot? And then we found this fucking story. So, holy shit, if you like that story, tell us about it. You can go ahead and get on Apple Podcasts, that purple icon. Give us five stars.

It helps out a lot, so please do that for the show you can head over to shut up and give me murder.com for everything crime and sports and small town murder related all sorts of stuff on there new merchandise up all the time there's these really cool you know like prayer candle looking images that sarah made that are pretty cool on there check those out all sorts of stuff and get your tickets to live shows. Listen to Small Town Murder, for God's sake. If you haven't, I don't know what the hell you're doing. Also listen to PSA Hate This Movie on Fridays or Saturdays,

whenever we release it. And check that out, where we make fun of bad romantic comedies and every other damn thing. God, look at Michael Doakes. He's a handsome man. James, you look at his Wikipedia page. He has Coke on his mustache. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's not surprising. He's a handsome man. James, you look at his Wikipedia page. He has Coke on his mustache. Yeah, that's what I mean.

That's not surprising. That's unbelievable. Not surprising. You want to help out the show a little bit more. Very easy to do that. Very, very easy. Go for it. Patreon.com slash crime and sports.

You're going to get all sorts of stuff. You're going to get Jimmy to mispronounce your name, which could happen very coming up in a second here. You brace yourselves. You're also going to get access to all of our wonderful bonus materials. This week's bonus materials. We'd like to do them quarterly ish. We're going to do personal classified ads from newspapers from like old newspapers.

We find the weirdest. So fun. It's so fun. What people want in their class of what they're looking for and personals from someone else when they put it on paper and you can't see their face it's hilarious represent themselves that's the thing i am this is what i am and this is what i'm looking for what we found is every woman says that that she's fun and every man says they own a home right that's how it works that's how they can attract i'm fun well i have a home right that's let's be fun and homey together one and homie that's what it is so check that out small town

murders this week too we are going to get into from one of our cases something that went all the way to the supreme court the white trash defense where there is an actual legal document that many scholars have poured over called the white trash defense and it's all about pooping in buckets and shit it's wild right so check that out on small town murder you'll get access to all that good stuff at patreon.com slash crime in sports and anybody over the five dollar level will get that if you just want to have good karma and have your name mispronounced brutally by jimmy at the end of the show that is also easy to do over at paypal using our email, CrimeAndSports at gmail.com,

which is a way to get a hold of the show as well. Another way to get a hold of the show, at CrimeAndSports on Twitter and Facebook, at Small Town Murder on Instagram. That said, God damn it, Jimmy. You know what I need right now after all that Michael Doakes? The list of the greatest people in the world who would never hold us hostage for six hours and beat and rape us. Hit me with them, Jimmy. in the world who would never hold us hostage for six hours and beat and rape us hit me with him jimmy this week's executive producers are christopher paul cow christy hunting troy mungio

or mungillo by the way troy fucking i don't even know how to say thank you thank you so much you're here really thank you we appreciate the shit out of you troy thank you uh willis tanya rand oh it's tanya willis by the way uh randall martin jack, Jackie Sukup, Chrissy Ann Costaldi, what is this, Donnie, Donnie Keene, Jordan Bennett, Cindy Crenshaw, Sarah Ness, Crystal Cooper, Lisa Letterman, Jennifer with no last name, Arthur Weitzel, Lisa Love, David DeBlaker, I think, Kyle Westbrook, Keta, nope, yeah, yeah, what is that, Keta? I think it's Keta. Soson I don't know Hedda it's Hedda Sorenson okay and also Eric Jones thank you guys so much for everything you do truly

you're you're changing lives you're amazing we're honestly other producers this week are Asia fuck Dizerdivic nope Dizerdarvich Dizdarvich. I'm sorry. I'm going on. Jamie Lee Thomas. Lauren Demerath. Max. Nope. Yep.

Max Beverly. Damn it. This is going well. I know already. Kelly Redinger. Thomas Smith. Carl Doyle. Melissa Turner.

William Bordwell. Haley Irving. Trey Volkanar. Janice Hill. James Marder. Susan Olgis, Liz Vasquez, Peyton Meadows, Amanda Knight, Sarah Surridge, Melissa Letterman. I said that earlier. She donated both ways.

Thank you. Selena Schmitka, I think. Danielle Swift, Rebecca English, John Windsor Hawkins, Andrea webster samantha ray tuttle toothle kyle bailey brook kale brendan ables garden what is that grover mcdermid mcdermid fin what finnamore finnamore calderon justin bain christy morrison todd albrecht albrecht albrecht j Joshua Barak, or Barak, damn it, Stephen, what did I do, Lowney, yep, Jason Lopez, Michalo, Michako, Norton, Donald Prater, Porter, Jesus, Melissa Stoops, Adam Kosman, Robert Larson, Courtney Cabral, Kendra Grannis,id tapia morgan 459 mark carver sarah smulski ben escott i really got to get a better pen trent trinam 71 alice uh alissa stanley jen cowherd uh probably uh dude's wife i'm shorts collins gotta be Collins. It's got to be. Absolutely. Angelo D. Lloyd, Benedict Brooks, Nora Hamervick, Jacob Magyar, Sean with no last name, Cheyenne

Quigley, Nathan Kendall, Margaret Burnett, Mark Gavani, Derek Zarda, AC, Ryan Hendricks, Brian Humes, Sam with no last name, Michael Renninger, Brandy Coulier, Yawen Zorluan, I think, Damon Miller, Mary McKenzie, Deanna, nope, that's Diana, probably, Holgerson, Turner Stewart, Christy Lee Ramchuk, Ashley Johnson, Shelley Barrett, Lindsay with no last name, Katie Colahan, Dan Rogers, Joshua Ahlers, Tat Lindsay with no last name, Katie Colahan, Dan Rogers, Joshua Ahlers, Tatiana with no last name. What is this? Raiden?

Nope. Caden Vance, Tammy Valentine, Regular John, Flynn Patrick, Brandon Page, Daniel Russell, Eddie with no last name, Ryan Baylor, Frankie Montpetit, Lisa Mariotti, Leshea Latova,atova i think latour i don't know i don't know i'm terrible at writing elizabeth smith michael bizari kimberly and reading i know prana vost aaron martinez amy neville sherry gilbert gina with no last name kim thompson tina major kim yep with a y atwood lee furer, Jesus Christ, I'm sweating already, Caitlin Crawford, Katie Amour, Kristen with no last name, Kristen Bemer, Bremer, Nicole Ellis, Phillip Rogers, Wounded Flute, Robert Gott, Travis Botman, Darby with no last name. Terrence Ray. Chad Ritchie. Andrew Green. Jennifer Goff.

Brooklyn Larimore. Diane Zimmerman. Emily Hoover. Jennifer Reilly. Nick Bennett. Skyla. Yep. Skyla McGee.

George Jackson. Don Wittes. Wittes. Slade with no last name. Tyler Dubois. Michelle Fox. Katie Stowe. Sash Muschiati. Nope. Massacote. Massac name. Tyler Dubois. Michelle Fox. Katie Stowe. Sash Miskiati.

Nope. Misakote. Masakote. Masakote. Master. What? Are you talking? Mastodon.

Mastodon. Mastacina. Stephen Dole. Aaliyah. Masekta Manahala. What? Aaliyah Mitchell. Joseph Mason.

What is this? Kevin with a Y. Madsfield. Moosefield. Mooresfield. I know. That's different. That with a Y. Madsfield? Moosefield? Mooresfield? I know. That's different. That's not nice.

Christopher Brock. Nibby with no last name. Nibby? Rachel Bordenaro? Nope. Jen Schnipke? Yes. Have confidence in yourself, Jimmy.

Yes. Bordenaro or whatever it is. That's the one. Nailed it. Connor Greenwald. Jessica Somerville, Juan Evans. I almost pronounced the J. Maybe they pronounced their names wrong.

That's the thing. Maybe you're right. That's the, you know, we had never thought about that. We've never even considered that, though. You're right. Emily Milligan Thompson. Smalls with no last name. Jerry Lynn Knight. Amanda McMullen.

William Perry. Probably the fridge. Amanda McMullen. William Perry. Probably the fridge. Glancy Aaron Adkins. Charmaine with no last name. Sophie F. Olivia Never. Meaver? Mever?

Mauer. It's all of them. It's Mewer. Oh, it's Mauer. It's a U, not a V. That's six different pronunciations you just got. Jean Sandridge. Jean?

Jean, probably. Charlene Bratcher. Mel Ackerman. Yannette Flores, Ryan Miller, Travis Haslam, Amanda with no last name, Isabel with no last name, Tanya Willis, Sonia Boer, Jay Boe, Dawn Marie Howell, Rosa Nina Brito, Alejandra Alcantaner, nope, Alcantara. Nope. Alcantar. Alcantar. All wrong. Don Smith. Shannon Hakey. Karen Edwards. Nope.

That's Reynolds. Elkie Kelly. Nicholas Camrath. Liam Smith. Claire Archer Richards. Janica with no last name. Natalie Johnson. Gregory Lado.

Michael Terzinski. Nope. Terzinski. Terzinski. Elizabeth Taylor. Salty Admiral. Chase Randall. Kathleen Marsh. Whitney with no last name.

Chelsea McAdams. Emily Marie. Madison Gwynne. Gwynne. Nick Breidenbaugh. Jesus. Marissa Whiteside. Sherry Mitchell.

Emily Marie. I said that. Ryan with no last name. Christian Ubin. Ubin. Ubin. Daniel Rogers. Danielle Rogers. Teacup with no last name. Christian Ubin. Ubin? Ubin. Daniel Rogers. Danielle Rogers.

Teacup with no last name. Mayor Maria? Mar Maria? Jordan Craig GS? Craggs. Jesus. Matt Bush. Kelly Wilder Outlaw.

Robin Back. Michael with no last name. Bat Mock, I think. Corey Osborne. Jason McIver. Nancy Keaton. Madison Peppers. Vicki Williamsock, I think. Corey Osborne. Jason McIver. Nancy Keaton. Madison Peppers. Vicki Williams.

Nikki. Nope. Yeah. Ricky. Ricky LaFleur. Riggy. Riggy. I think that's right.

It might be Rocky. Riggy. Rachel Spears. Laura Blakeslee. She's been around a long time. Yeah, we love Laura. Thanks, Laura. Lainey.

Nope. Rainey. Lainey Korn. Trevor Morris. Tasha Walter around a long time. Yeah, we love Laura. Thanks, Laura. Rainy? Lainy Corn. Trevor Morris. Tasha Walter. Ted Aspel. Matt Robinson. Tom W. Sandra Watkins. Joseph Widenwich.

Kay Bounds. Benal Bowness. Jennifer Jillian. Sarah Litchfield. Sean Burleson. Anna Thompson, Bennett Kilgore, Amy Jezanuski, Morgan and Ben Brooke, Jess and Kyle Norton, Riley Sluder, Alex Ball, Ken with no last name, Alaska, the whole state,alen, Wallen, Aaron Dickey, Haley with no last name, Wade Christensen, Nathan Bland,

Lisa Atkinson, Hannah Sedgwick, Michelle Donagan, Craig Walters, Jason Bukom. It's going that well. I know. Allison Wright,

Tim Ashley, Leslie Blaze, Blaze, Blaze, damn it, Sonny Davis, Sean Collins, Amber Fields, Johnny Berkeland, Michelle Stocker, Chad Cooper, Michael Singletonwn Abdulaziz, Edward Arnold, Heather Hall, Holly Simek, Jenna Crow, Nicholas fucking what? Wow.

Periscope. Periscope. What? Why don't I just take? No, it's worse. It's worse. There's anopolis. God damn it. Oh, boy.

It's Greek. Nicholas Periscopeopolis. He's Greek. Yep. Jenna Crow. Alyssa. It's worse. There's anopolis. Goddamn it. Nicholas Pereskevopoulos. He's Greek. Yep. Jenna Crow. Alyssa Tyler. Francisca Schmidt.

Ashley Sams. Ellen O'Hara. Jessica Sheehan. April Prowley. Prowl. Pruce. Prew. Jennifer Proven.

Stacey Parrott. Rev Lins. I think. Rue. Maybe. I don't know. Kaylee Smith. Jenna Thorson uh josh page nicole della hunt kate coleman shauna moose heather fallers uh cynthia sophie ontini and also dev laura and ej huesler and all of our patron supporters you guys are truly the most

fucking amazing thank you thank you guys so much for everything honestly from the bottom of our patron supporters. You guys are truly the most fucking amazing. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for everything, honestly, from the bottom of our hearts that you do for us, from the bottom of our cocaine-flecked mustaches. We just appreciate you more than you could possibly know. That's Wikipedia. That's wild. Jimmy, what if they wanted to get a hold of you? How could they find Coke and get it in your mustache?

I'm on Twitter and Instagram. Where are you? Oh, fine. I'm around. Just look it up. If you're looking at the show show you'll see our names and you'll find us you're not you're not dumb no you're not listening this long to get a goddamn twitter address so who cares that said thank you guys hope you guys have had a wonderful time this week i know i have and live from the crime and sports. We will see you next week. Bye. Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at

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