Crime in Sports - #248 - The Wrong Thing, The Right Way? - The Bombasticness of Michael "The Playmaker" Irvin & The Scummie Awards!!

Episode Date: March 9, 2021

This week, we have a long & winding story about a man who is still very famous, and has used that fame to every advantage. He came from the toughest of circumstances to somehow become a Hall of Fame NFL player. He also did a bunch of cocaine, and never met 4 or 5 strippers that he didn't like. He was a jerk, and embraced it. But would that keep him from a television career? Of course not! You won't believe some of the craziness!! PLUS... THE 2021 SCUMMIES!! Sneak mixing bowls of cornflakes, have Jerry Jones love you, and have a huge overreaction to someone cutting you on a hair cut line with Michael "The Playmaker" Irvin!!Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!! Contact us on... twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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My goodness. Michael Irvin. We all know who Michael Irvin is. Everybody loved him. Well, most people hated him unless you're a cowboys fan yeah not i mean i wasn't even a cowboys fan i was just impressed with how goddamn good he was oh he's a now skills and everything else even work ethic all that shit above reproach absolutely above reproach on the field you can't get a guy who

got more out of every ounce he got every ounce of talent out of himself he got everything he left it on the field he was the first guy to get to the building the last guy to leave practice he's that kind of guy but then when he left practice he was going right to the strip club to do cocaine off of a woman's ass so that that was that was the difference with michael ervin though that's off the field full-on he's like kind of the lawrence taylor of wide receivers in a way he's that's the best way to think about him that i can do here uh michael jerome irvin is his full name um it's funny because i'm surprised his parents didn't use use up michael by then as we'll talk about

how many siblings he has. Known as the Playmaker, that's his nickname always and I remember they had football cards with the Playmaker on them. Remember those from like 1991? A lot of this, by the way, there's a bunch of stuff and I'll give credit where it's due over the course of the show

but Jeff Perlman, Boys Will Be Boys book had a lot of good Michael Irvin insight that wasn't really anywhere else because he went really in and did a lot of research just terrific he everything he does sports wise he he gets in it and just inside of something cleans it out there's no he really does if he's doing a subject he's doing it a hundred percent so anytime you see him in a book if you're slightly interested in the subject doing it a hundred percent so anytime you see him in a book if you're slightly interested in the subject check it out because it's going to be thorough

and also sports illustrated this article by a woman named sally jenkins was really really good and insightful as well this is a lot of their stuff kind of spread out in here and then i'll attribute as it goes now michael irvin let's start out with this guy here and find out a little bit. You know anything about his background, anything like that? He's from the South. Florida. Yeah. I don't know. No.

Do you only know that because of his excitable religiosity? A little bit of that mixed with his Southern church dress style. That's what I mean. He dresses like Steve Harvey and acts like he's gonna go preach a sermon so that's like normally he's got a very very slight southern drawl it's it's only a little bit but it's only and it comes out mostly when he's either excited or pissed off it's it's neither like when he talks normally he he just sounds like a Compton gangster. You know what I mean? He's got just a smooth, get your point across. Compton gangster.

Yeah. He's not a Compton gangster sounding guy. He's got just like some, I don't know. He sounds like a- There's a swagger, an attitude. I get the you're selling me insurance vibe out of him when he's talking. Like he said, this is the best policy you're ever going to find. Like he's very excitable about it, like a professional you know like perhaps it's all the blue that he

wears that really makes me feel that way maybe he is a big fan of blue i do know that he wears it in fucking almost everything well he's a cowboy so i think that's where that is he doesn't even wear cowboys blue it's just any shade of blue. Michael Irvin loves it. He does. It ties. He's big on the ties and suit shades. And well, he is one of 17 children. Holy shit.

17, Jimmy. That's like, wow. I mean, if you have 17 kids, one of them is going to be a football player, right? I'm going to be something. One of them. Somebody's going to make money at something. One of them is going to kill three people. One of them's gonna kill three people one of them's gonna someone's gonna do everything you just have a big focus group that's just playing the odds that's what i mean 17 yeah it's not even adopted the only the only thing surprising about it is he didn't grow up in a shoe this is fucking

crazy he's he's uh one of he's the 15th of 17 children. My Christ. Are Woody Allen and Mia Farrow his parents? No. Then Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, this isn't their brood either. His parents were Walter and Pearl are their names. They said that they wanted so many children children they'd have to name the last one waltina pearl as a joke that's the they ran out of names that's close yeah well they walter had

two from a previous marriage and pearl had six from a previous marriage and then they had nine together my god so pearl had 15 kids That woman spent like 12 years pregnant. Oh, shit. That's- Holy fuck. Imagine having 15 kids. I mean, I've never had kids, but I know they get- I've heard, anyway.

They get easier to have as you've had them. Yeah. By 15, you don't even have to stop doing laundry. You're just like- You could just- You're doing shit. I'm washing the car. Hold on. Just ask somebody to cut the cord take this will you i gotta finish up i'm drying the roof off like you wouldn't even holy fuck that's just so fucking crazy man that's

that's insane uh they lived in fort lauderdale very poor neighborhood they're very poor by the way and to be honest with you even if you're do pretty well, if you have 17 kids, you're going to be poor. Yeah. That's like taking care of four families of four. That's what that four families. I can't imagine. Yeah. So a family of four needs a certain income.

Now, you need that four times over. That's crazy time. That's nuts. And, yeah, so they couldn't afford all all these kids obviously not enough food um you know there's only two bedrooms yeah so you know there's usually about 15 people living here with two bedrooms as soon as you clean up breakfast from that many people it's time to make lunch well that's the one thing we got to talk about here too as a matter of fact they had two bedrooms.

Finally, Walter here. He closed in the porch and the garage to make extra bedrooms just because they had so many people. That's that's nothing else you can do. Oh, my. Pearl, Michael's mother, said, quote, He filled in every hole to make places to sleep. And Michael says he didn't sleep in a bed alone until he got to college he never slept alone and he said he he always said his family jokingly he says his family violated the fire code quite a bit just uh you know the beds everywhere walter was a roofer

by trade so jesus imagine roofing all day in the hot flor Florida sun and then coming home to 17 kids. No, that sounds like a fucking nightmare. Oh, my God. I don't know how Walter didn't slaughter everybody or one of the two. That's the most patient man on earth. No shit. So six days a week. He got up at 5 a.m.

He worked till 7 p.m. Long days. 14 hour days. Six days a week. In the Florida sun, roofing. James, when we went to Florida, I chartered a boat and went fishing. It was 72 degrees that day. I got a sunburn that I still have sunspots on my face from.

How many years later? Three years later? Three years ago, yeah. What the fuck? Florida is crazy. Florida, imagine that with later? Three years ago, yeah. What the fuck? Florida is crazy. Florida, imagine that with the hot black root tar, too. It's the worst. So two Sundays a month also he would preach in Americus, Georgia and Fort Myers, Florida. Sometimes he would get home at 4 a.m. from preaching and then have to go to work with no sleep.

He'd pull in the driveway, get changed into his work clothes and go right back out and roof for 14 hours, then come home to 17 children. No, this is crazy. He wanted this. This is what he and he loved it. He was happy. They said he would get home from work and on the way he'd get out of the car, filthy and everything.

And he would bend down and play like marbles with the kids until dinnertime. He wouldn't even go in the house and take his shitty clothes off because he wanted to have some time with the kids. I'm like, wow, it's a good dude. No doubt. I'd be hiding in the nearest tree, bar. With anything that makes my brain forget things. Yeah, to take myself out of this situation. Oh, my God.

So he would do that. The neighbors called him the Rev. His mom also worked very hard, obviously, taking care of these kids in that house. That is not a small task at all. But it's a little bit harder for her. She can't work 14-hour days on the roof since her vagina was dragging behind her from having 42 children so it's more difficult when every time you move you have to scoop up your innards and move them along with you it's different michael is uh often can't name his

siblings in order if you ask no i'll go of course not yeah how could you with that many people but i know their names yeah we have uh willie alice willie two willies in the first three kids we forgot we well he had two so he had willie with somebody else and then he had willie with her too that first willie's gotta feel replaced get another willie fuck it poor yeah right what am i first willie now they gotta call him first willie or like in the other guy's new willie what's up new willie uh big willie little willie yeah um uh walter jr came after that of course there's a junior yeah ray sheila janet rosalyn twins vaughn and don sharon laverne lisa patricia brenda and derrick my god those are all their kids it is so many and they're they're ranging uh what is this 20 yeah 28 years. They go for the whole the whole brood here.

So it's it's it's pretty wild shit, man. That's that's crazy. Michael, apparently with all these kids, you can't with kids. They grow very, really quick. They need new shoes all the time. So Michael's main problem, like I was saying about the sneakers, is you grow out of sneakers all the time. Yeah. They couldn't afford new sneakers.

So the problem was, the solution, I mean, was Walter, the dad, would cut the toes off, the tops of the toes. What does that do? That makes it so they're not, let's say it's a size 10. Well, now it's not anymore. say it's a size 10 well now it's not anymore now it's a size however the fuck long your foot grows because it's got no front of it you just so you could grow technically to a 15 and just hang your toes over the end of it i guess but that's not a solution and apparently making your sneakers into sandals turned out to be the solution oh my god so michael i mean of all options that's probably the better one rather than just trimming your kid's foot every six months

rather than binding the foot yeah that's probably better than pulling some ancient chinese shit on her so he would go to school like that and all the kids would make fun of him. The teachers felt bad for him. He was the kid who's got, you know, 55 siblings and they all felt bad for him. The kids called them cat heads. The sneakers. I don't don't know why, but they called him cat heads. That was the the what everybody called it. His father said that there was no complaining, basically.

No bitching about what we don't have here. Because he said, quote, you dealt with what you needed, not with what you wanted. That's what Michael said his dad would tell him. You need something, we'll work on it, but I don't want to hear about what you want. None of that shit's flying here.

There's 17 kids. A lot of times, no Christmas presents. Really? No Christmas presents. Michael would tell his friends and neighbors that his gifts were at his grandmother's and he was going out of town on Christmas Day, so he wouldn't be around to play with the new toys with all the other kids in the neighborhood. And then he would sit there and watch out the window as the kids played with their new

toys because he didn't have any. Oh, the poor bastard. Which, that sucks, man. That's brutal. That kind of thing makes you want things you know what i mean it makes you drive yeah yeah it gives you a certain emptiness in there that you want to fill up he uh he was on the you know the school the free lunch program he wasn't ashamed of it though he went to school with his cat heads and his lunch ticket and ready to go that was standing

in line for a biscuit and gravy with your toes hanging out your shoes yep he didn't give a fuck because he was hungry so free lunch was like oh shit more food he his appetite is like legendary within his family he was always loud and talkative his mom said probably because there was that many people in the house his mom was saying he wanted to be heard his mother said quote, Michael does like attention. I have noticed that about my son. Did you? You and the entire planet Earth noticed that about Michael Irvin.

He still dresses like Steve Harvey. He obviously wants attention. There's just you can see him from space with his shoulder pads. All right. He stands on the sidelines in a black peacoat and electric blue wool gloves. Yeah. For no reason. With a six inch wide double Windsor going on.

Right. You see him. And a Rolex the size of a frying pan. Oh, for sure. Yeah. He likes attention. He would sit in the kitchen. They said he would eat entire boxes of cornflakes

out of mixing bowls most yeah did that big of a bowl of cereal okay most of the time they didn't have milk so he would use tap water gross wasn't allowed to use that much milk either so then his siblings would find out he ate all the cornflakes and they'd beat the shit out of him so that's the way it worked for him but he'd do it anyway they said he would sneak food into the bathroom and eat it there that's just eating tap water cornflakes sitting on the toilet yeah sitting on a toilet that 17 other people have used right imagine the mother she had to clean the bathroom four times a day that place is like a truck stop he's never sat on an ice cold bowl no no always warm from that thing's warm all day long from someone else's ass. Yeah, it's terrible.

All day. Yeah. They said he would wait sometimes until everybody was gone till the kitchen was unguarded. And then he would go in and wipe out all the bread and milk all in a single sitting. Then they'd catch him and he'd be in trouble. His sister Renee said, quote, he was a hog. He hog he ate everything when there was no meat he ate mayonnaise sandwiches oh which that's probably the grossest thing i'd ever i'd rather starve to death than eat a mayonnaise i will not eat mayonnaise in any capacity why not just smear butter on the bread and call it good no butter

butter's expensive okay just eat the bread yeah mayonnaise well she said for a change of flavor he would eat ketchup sandwiches which i mean i could see that i'd rather eat that than mayonnaise sandwich um he didn't care he just ate them for the bread well they eat the fucking sandwich without the okay so uh after pearl the mom said after the kids did their homework and went to bed that's when she had to start cooking again for the next day. Yeah. All the kids in bed, okay. She would prepare the day's meals during the Tonight Show.

And Walter said as soon as she heard Johnny Carson's voice, she'd start cooking. That was the joke. She'd turn the frying pan on. It's time to go. Welcome to the Tonight Show. Let's do it. The children would fight over a fan the house had an air conditioner but they couldn't afford to turn it on so can you imagine just staring at

that thing sitting on the roof going oh one of these days we're gonna turn that on i think it was a window unit i don't think it was central air all right but still that window unit the sweet sweet relief that would offer to turn that on and stand in front of it would be like, ah, the whole day is melting off. Nope. Instead, they had a fan. And Walter and Pearl had their own fan there. And then the rest of the family had another fan to fight for. Yeah.

That's how it worked the girls usually got it and then the boys would uh would end up you know being all hot and then since michael was the youngest for a while and the most brazen they would send him across the hall on a mission to steal the fan from his sisters it's one of those box fans right you know it's not one of those ones that oscillates no we're talking about box fan everyone's got to kind of line up in front of right stack yourself and make sure to get like an amphitheater because you got to get higher otherwise it'll get blocked like cell phone bars you got to get the smallest up front and the biggest in the back that's right so uh the girls would then wake up and steal it back and they said that's that was every night back and forth all night long

the girls did chores the boys did yard work that's one advantage to having 17 children is you have a that's a crew yeah that's a work crew if you have that many kids you can say go out and build a fucking garage and they should be able to pull it off with that many people even even with no talent or skills they should be able to there's enough of them to figure it out pretty solid yeah fuck everybody gets two two studs and lines them up we should have a pretty good garage here in a couple hours that's what i mean so you know how it works you know how buildings look go copy that yeah that's all so uh his father said he would feel as michael said his father would feel his biceps and he'd say

pretty soon you're going to be ready for the truck and as soon as which is not i don't think a good thing no soon as michael could carry a bucket of wet roofing cement he'd join his father at work on the weekends and during the summer we're talking from 13 years old right to do this sweltering florida heat they you know do all of this his father took rent and food money out of his pay he was uh but he looked up to his dad that's amazing though how do you it's one box of cornflakes yeah minus as the guy's robbing you every day that's wild he uh i guess walter was dad was like a hero to him he said of. He said he was a strong man. He was strong-minded, and he looked up to him a lot. He played football in junior high, also ran track and played basketball.

Played basketball in the cutoff sneakers, by the way. Imagine the other kids talking shit to him. Oh, my God. I mean, there's all sorts of shit talking on the court anyway. If one kid's toes are hanging out, that's, I mean, you're about anybody else those are getting stepped on right they've got to think so jesus christ it's you'd have to yeah that doesn't seem advantageous to basketball is my point that sounds like a slide yeah that's a handicap you'd have to have really good laces too or else they'd right bunch all up he uh and he would slip all floor, they said, until finally his sister, Pat, took a temporary job to earn him enough money to buy good sneakers to play basketball.

That's nice. So that was nice of her. And he got to high school, and he was, you know, obviously, you watch his athletic talents off the chart. I mean, for an NFL player, he's a great athlete. So for a high school kid, he was phenomenal, obviously. So, yeah, his brother Willie took charge of his physical training. Not sure which Willie. One of the Willies.

A Willie. I don't know if it's a new Willie or old Willie, but one of the Willies took control. Maybe they took turns and he didn't notice. I don't know. willies took control maybe they took turns and he didn't notice i don't know um he would make michael run several miles a day in exchange for food or a chance to borrow his car ah so he'd be like i'll buy you a value meal at burger king if you'll run three miles i'll buy you a whopper or i'll buy you can borrow my car to take a girl out if you run five miles, like shit like that. That's how they would bribe Michael. That's a, I mean, it works, I guess.

So he would pick Michael up after practice and take him to Burger King and tell his mother, you got to feed that boy. You got to give him steak. He needs protein. So, you know, he's a growing guy. So he went to Piper High School, Piper High, and he's excelling at athletics, but he wanted to – he's still very poor, though. And I guess a lot of the kids here weren't poor. And he'd see these kids with cars and with all the shit that he wanted, and he was jealous, basically.

He wanted stuff. So he decided to – he said at one point he decided to just take things from people and just take shit um he doesn't confess anything specific says he never got caught but he said quote i was hanging with the wrong crowd guys who had no goals who were just fluttering so that was that yeah um just stealing from rich kids just take yeah just taking shit at the end of his sophomore year he was suspended for disciplinary reasons, for which he said that he'll, quote, never tell anyone what happened, what occurred. I want to know so bad.

Well, during his sophomore year, he was suspended for punching a female student in the face during a dispute. So that's what it's for. No wonder why he doesn't want to tell. Yeah. I ain't telling nobody because a gangster never talks. Or a guy that punches chicks doesn't want to be held accountable for it. Or I punched a 10th grader in the face and she happened to be a chick and that's really not cool for anybody.

Just not okay. So Walter was mad at the school for suspending him. And he basically began scouting private private schools a place that will give because in high school they'll they'll they'll do your tuition on scholarship just like college yeah yeah i had a friend that played hockey like that he went to he went to a like a a fancy boarding school because he was good at hockey so he got a big scholarship there so it's it's pretty crazy that they do that so anyway he ends up at saint thomas aquinas aquinas what is it that's some catholic thing i don't know yeah it's aquinas you've sent

more spent who spent more time in the catholic church than i have so there's actually a saint thomas aquinas here that's a lot yeah i know there's a lot of schools i'm sure there's one in every fucking big city yeah if there's one in uh fort lauderdale there's one everywhere yeah it's just named after saint thomas that's all it is no shit uh fort lauderdale there's one everywhere yeah it's just named after zane thomas that's all it is no shit uh chris everett went there the tennis player no kidding yeah there's a list of people nfl players that went here like nick bosa who's currently in the nfl yeah went there uh let's see all the way back to brian piccolo went there you know brian piccolo is i do know the name the bears running back who died in like

his second or third year and i was gonna say it was a tragic thing brian song that's what it is about brian piccolo he went here so all the way back it's been athletic you know athletics big time since the 60s it's one of those places so uh he went there as a sophomore and uh piper the other school took michael and the school that he transferred to to court they were pissed well yeah because they need him you're trying to cock block a 10th grader from playing football you know like come on man i'm sorry a little way to put it get the fuck out of here like the college didn't he punch a chick in your hallways, by the way? Why do you want him back? We need him. He's got the best left hook in the 10th grade. Just ask Sally.

What the fuck? So they said their private school had recruited him for football and baseball or basketball and would never have admitted him if not for athletic talent. Piper also predicted that Irvin would be unable to make the grades at saint thomas the court eventually ruled that as required by florida regulations irvin would have to sit out his junior year because piper refused to sign a waiver allowing him to compete they literally cock blocked a child from playing sports that's fucked up man i don't care what the circumstances are we're talking about a 15 and 16 year old kid playing sports either you don't want him in your school and you kick him out or you you let him go

if he wants to go somewhere else you don't try this isn't the nfl yeah i hate when they try it that's so pathetic adults trying to make their reputations off of children it's just yeah some sorry ass shit man and then the other school too is kind of scummy too for just like poaching the best athletes from other schools that's creepy too that's what the whole goddamn situation is fucked he's not even catholic for christ's sake great point it's a catholic school we're gonna be doing the stations of the cross and mike doesn't have a clue what the fuck's happening neil stand he's like my dad's a baptist preacher i don't know any of this shit i don't know anything i haven't been threatened with hellfire quite enough today i could use a little more of that just a little bit more of that

it's a little weird so uh during high school i think in his junior year his dad dies of cancer oh no so this is a crushing thing to him and to the family yeah because there's a lot there's some more kids left over there's a lot of people to support and a lot of you know he's a he's a huge cog in the family he does everything so michael says yeah the cancer was the cause of death but quote the work killed him he said all those years of work bore him down that's what killed which probably is a lot of truth to that he probably got cancer from the work let's be honest probably from the chemicals and then his body i'm sure was just too beaten down to be able to combat this shit right not to mention

i bet the family didn't have the best health care going also sure so the carcinogens in the Florida sun isn't helping. Oh, just burning, rising, roof-tard chemicals. That can't be good. So, man. So he ends up choosing. He can go to college. He's a highly recruited athlete, especially in the state of Florida. And he chooses to go to Miami to be a hurricane. One of the first big names there, I guess?

Kind of, yeah. This is when Miami's trying to reconstitute their program and make a big comeback. And Jimmy Johnson comes in as the coach. Okay. And Michael Irvin's his kind of guy. He's his kind of guy. Jimmy Johnson wants guys that'll die on the field. That's his kind of guy.

He doesn't want anybody who doesn't take it way overly seriously. He wants everyone to take it as seriously as the head coach does, which is impossible. But Michael Irvin does. So he loves him. Jimmy Johnson said, quote, he's fought for food his whole life. Yeah, that's a great way to put it. That is a guy that you want on your team. A man that has literally had to fight for scraps of bread.

Everything from food and from there. Like, not even that's a comfortable thing, just a meal. He's in the bathroom cramming cornflakes. And tap water. With tap water. So he said that one of Johnson's first days in miami when he got there was the fall of 84 and this is one of his first run-ins with michael irvin uh there was a fight in the cafeteria between irvin who hadn't even played for the fucking team yet he was a red

shirted freshman at the time or a freshman that just hadn't played yet and uh he ends up fighting a 245 pound senior offensive lineman oh in the cafeteria so uh johnson assumed after he saw the melee and heard that it was them fighting that you know he was probably gonna have to clean ervin up off the floor right he's a skinny little shit back then and uh instead it turned out that ervin was the one that started it and punched him in the face he attacked more and punched him and it seemed like more had tried to cut in front of ervin in the food line and ervin wasn't having it and he shot him in the fucking face and uh jimmy johnson says quote turned out to be a mismatch so he's gotta love a receiver who's like 18 years old and will punch a fucking offensive lineman in the face for food.

An 18-year-old just fought a man that probably outweighs him by 150 pounds and four years. He's just fought a 22-year-old. Who's way bigger than him. And cleaned his clock. Yeah, and he has no like, oh, I'm a freshman. I got to defer to the senior none of that there was protein on that lunch line that day yeah so keep that in mind he's like there's meat is that a chicken cutlet i will punch a motherfucker get out of my way

swear to god stab the biggest motherfucker in here i will fight for roast beef don't try me don't even try me so keep in mind that michael irvin in his mind here so this is his his doctrine is that seniority doesn't mean shit when on lines okay yeah that's the way he takes it so let's keep just remember that in your brain taylor Swift is soaring high, her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery Show Business Wars. We go deep into some

of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time, and in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Bing!

The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her.

A long. Okay, so, um... Matt, this is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin.

His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season.

It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. Freebie. See you later. Okay. anything judy justice only on freebie yeah okay so 1985 the first year he plays football here for the hurricanes they're 10 and 2 that year they go to the sugar bowl and play tennessee and lose 35 to 7 so well but still respectable it's still their number nine overall they finish in the country. So you're top ten. That's pretty good.

Can't sneeze at that shit. This is a team that has Alonzo Highsmith. Vinny Testaverde is the quarterback. So a lot of big names that will go into the NFL later on. Brett Perryman, Jeff Fegels, the punter who was there forever, Brian Blades. Who else here?'s there's a shitload of people on this team let's just perryman lineman for the bears uh which one perryman yeah brett perryman wasn't he a defensive back for the lions was he i thought so i'm not sure no uh yeah

i don't know what the hell he was to be honest with you so who knows it doesn't matter really there's a couple of barrymans too i think i'll bet you're right yeah perryman's a common one here i think we're probably all right yeah i think we're right and right and then right again so uh michael that year plays in 11 games catches 46 passes which is a shitload for college and 840 yards nine touchdown, and averages 18.3 a catch. So that's – As a freshman. Yeah, or sophomore, I guess.

Okay, the next year. Yeah, the freshman, yeah. That's great. That's fucking impressive. And they said right away, his first day in Miami, they said he was sitting on the side watching. This is before he was even involved yet. And they said, what are you doing?

He goes, I'm just seeing whose job I'm going to take. Aha. Very cocky from day one. 86 Hurricanes. They go 11-1 this year. Pretty impressive. They go all the way to the Fiesta Bowl and lose to Penn State 14-10. That's their only loss, and that was the national championship game.

Wow. So they finished second in the nation that year so just missed it that close yeah still still though they're they're making their presence known and if you've seen any of the 30 for 30 the you documentary i i don't even want to get into it because we could do a whole show just on the you and that'd be a good bonus episode honestly so uh we won't get into the whole thing, but this is a whole culture down there that they're putting on. This winning culture, a certain brashness, a certain style of play,

the whole deal. It's a thing. The Rock is on this team. You know what I mean? So I think 87 is when he gets here. So it's even him. Everybody gets into this. That's where that fanny pack came from. He had too much swagger to hold in his hands. He had to carry it in a fucking bag.

He had to carry it in a bag. So Michael has 53 catches for 868 yards and 11 touchdowns this year. Again, he's amazing. This year also, he must have some game, by the way. We'll find out later. He definitely does. But he meets his future wife, Sandy, who is a Dolphins cheerleader, by the way. In the NFL.

Yeah. No, she's no, you know, she's not some chick who lives with her parents or whatever. She might, but she's a Dolphins cheerleader. She's out there. People see her. And he meets her while online at McDonald's. That's some game. That's game. That's impressive. People see her, and he meets her while online at McDonald's. That's a game.

That's game. That's impressive. You can pick up a pro football cheerleader on a McDonald's line. That's wild. You've got to have some. I guess anybody in a McDonald's line at that point, no matter how successful you are in life, you are gettable. You are definitely available, and I will catch you. I will snare you.

When you order a No. 2, that opens you right up to the public. I think that's how it goes. 1987, the Hurricanes go 12-0. Undefeated, they go to the Orange Bowl and beat Oklahoma 20-14. And this was the—was this the Bosworth, Oklahoma team, I believe, I want to say? What year? 88? 87. It's possible, I guess.

I want to say it was. So either way, they beat Oklahoma here, and they win the national championship, first in the AP poll. Wow. So it's a huge deal. Michael catches 44 balls for 715 yards and six touchdowns so he declares himself eligible for the draft i would too he has a year left yeah why not shit go out on a high note right so uh and you start at 10 and 0 you go or 10 and 2 you go to 11 and 1 and then 12 and 0 you've done everything you can do that That's it. We peaked it out here. Maxed out. Only way to go is down unless you fucking double down and go 12-0 again.

Yeah. What are the chances of that? Why bother trying? That's the thing. Take it and run. Yeah. So here's the 88 NFL draft. Number one draft pick, Jimmy?

88? Yeah. It's a quarterback. No, it's not. Really? Fuck, I wouldn't have a clue. It's one of the bigger busts in the history of the NFL. Andre Bruce.

We've talked about him a little bit. Andre. Andre with a U. Andre, A-U. Andre Bruce. He's a linebacker that they tried to make a defensive end. They tried to turn him into a tight end at one point. Basically just hot garbage.

Not very good at all. And turns out to be a huge bust. Who took him? That was Atlanta, number one. They wasted it. Second overall, is Kansas City picking Neil Smith, who's a great defensive end for like 10 years. So they should have picked him. Benny Blades after that. Paul Gruber, the tackle. Ricky ricky dixon tim brown hall of famer to the raiders after that

sterling sharp number seven overall so two unbelievable too soon yeah yeah that's great he was a future hall of famer if he didn't get hurt so that's already two hall of fame receivers in the top 10 and then at number uh 11 overall, by the way, the Giants picked right before that, and they picked a guard. So the Giants picked a guard number 10 overall, and they could have had Michael Irvin at a time when their offense could have really used a wide receiver too, I must say. So that's a little bit annoying that they didn't take him, but that's fine.

So he goes number 11 overall to Dallas, though. So, you know, that's a pretty high draft pick. Great pick. Later, Randall McDaniel, Hall of Famer, went number 19 overall. Ironhead Haywood, number 24. Remember him? Ironhead? The Saints fullback?

No. He was cool. Ironhead. Thurman Thomas went in the second round, number 40 overall. And Jermonte Dawson, another Hall of Famer, went number 44 overall. So some Hall of Famers to be had there in that draft. Sure. There's Hall of Famers in that there draft.

He signs a four-year, $1.875 million contract with the Cowboys. Right out of the gate. Right out of the gate. $750,000 signing bonus, $468,750 a year average. So doing pretty good here. Pretty well. He says,

quote, well actually, let's do it in their own words, because this is a very Michael Irvin thing to say. So yeah, we're going to do this here. Let's get in their own words for this. In their own words, quote, When I got my first signing bonus, I left that check on the counter at the house forever. My people were calling me every day.

Man, you've got to send in the check. Michael, send in the check. Michael, we're losing interest on this. You're losing interest? Everybody walks in this house and sees that check. I'm getting a whole lot of interest. You're losing interest, but I'm not. I'm getting a whole lot of interest you're losing interest but i'm not i'm gaining a shitload that's great everybody loves this check no shit he continues i must

have been the brokest dude in the world and they gave me a check like that with that many zeros behind it there was no way i was running right to the bank without showing it off first so i showed it off for a little while then he gets seven hundred thousand dollars make a copy and put that fucker in the bank make a copy frame it yeah somebody have an artist paint it who gives a shit but put the real one in the bank right have them put it in the bank the check isn't the the money they'll gladly give that back to you in the form of a canceled check after the money's done if you want to brag have deposited then have them give you a receipt and then show everybody there you go show what's in my bank anybody can

write a check for seven hundred thousand dollars yeah show me the deposit slip that's what i'm talking about so uh he first thing he does with this money is he buys a house for his mom that's what he does because i if anyone deserves a house, it's Pearl, I think, at this point. So he buys Pearl a four-bedroom house with a pool and a nice brand-new Fort Lauderdale development. He also gave her a credit card. She didn't know what to do with the credit card because she never had one. She said, quote, what can I use it for?

And he said, to buy things. Fucking everything, Ma. She didn't know how it worked like what do you do this with this so he bought his mother pearl it's 185 000 house in plantation florida which 185 000 house in 1988 in florida is a fucking nice house yeah a real nice house because florida still you could still get a decent house for $185,000 in Florida. You're probably right. Like a decent – yeah, that's true.

So during their house hunt, they went to several houses. At one point, they surprised as there was somebody who had their house for sale. And rather than going through the normal channels of calling a real estate agent and going there, they just stopped in front of the house, knocked on the door, and asked if she would be willing to sell the house right now cash money as is with every piece of furniture everything down to the silverware i get those phone calls too get your clothes and walk out basically and i'll give you cash leave your life behind i want this is legit though this isn't a scam on your phone somebody talking about you know i bought a house down the street i'm really interested in yours cash offer right now this is can you imagine her like or him whoever calling your spouse like if they're out of the house like oh my god they're at the office or something yeah i don't know steve harvey came over and he wants to buy our house and everything

in it he made me stop mowing he said just quit mowing the lawn. I'll take care of the rest. He said, leave the cut grass in the bag. He wanted that. He'll even empty it. Don't even empty it. He wants everything. Pictures of the kids. Drawings they made in kindergarten. He said, leave it on the fridge.

He wants your world's best dad mug. How about that? He does. Just leave it. And he wants the kid to give it to him, which is weird. he wants the kid to give it to him which is weird he wants our kid to give it to him on signing day he's the best dad now that's what he said he's gonna buy that from us so uh he goes to the cowboys here 1988 cowboys were in a shit decline for years they were just kind of of not very good since the late 70s.

And Coach Tom Landry, of course, this is legendary. He's still there. This is the last year of Tom Landry, yeah. Wow. Jerry Jones bought the team and kind of watched Tom Landry, or saw Tom Landry, what he was doing, and then he shit-canned Tom Landry. It was like one of the first things he did

and brought in Jimmy Johnson, So that's how that worked. So this year they go 3-13. Not great. He didn't have a lot to work with. His starting quarterback is Steve Pallor. So, you know what I'm saying? Like, what do you want out of the guy? It's not Roger Staubach anymore.

It's Steve fucking Pallor here. This is rough. Danny White's the backup, who's also a punter. It's not a great lot of players here. They had Herschel Walker still. They had him and not really a whole lot else going for them at that time. The three and 13, that tells you that. Michael Irvin on the team.

Michael here, he plays in 14 games, 32 receptions, 654 yards, and five touchdowns. Not that terrific. Kelvin Edwards, who is another receiver, he said that when Michael first came to the league, he dropped a ton of passes. I wasn't impressed. Oh, he was dropping balls. Yeah, so that was the general thought, and the whole team was not real impressed with this rookie who talks a lot of shit. Yeah, but when you've got a blue bear throwing you balls it's not easy to catch those blue bear

steve pillow or blue bear if your quarterback sounds french look for another quarterback not gonna work so uh 1989 they go 1 and 15 this was the the very dregs first year of jimmy johnson they stripped out everything basically to start over again this was when they traded uh herschel walker for like a shitload of picks from minnesota who ended up becoming you know emmett smith and every other piece of that puzzle shitloadss offensive linemen. This was when they did that. They had to sacrifice 89, basically. They went 1-15. I remember as a kid, I watched.

I think it was Sunday Night Football on ESPN. I watched the game they won against the Redskins. It was an ugly game. So Michael Irvin plays in six games because he tears his knee. He tears his, I tears his ACL this year. Oh, no. Six games in. Only 26 catches, two touchdowns.

So at this point, he looks like a bust. Yeah. He had a mediocre year dropping balls, and now he's got a knee injury. But he's talked a lot of shit. That's basically all he's done. So April 10, 1990, and this is all from the Dallas Observer because they did a really in-depth reporting on this he is sued by a woman for paternity oh this is this is his first incident

here he's not married to his wife sandy yet they'll get married soon after this but uh things aren't going well you got to get married as you know all right so uh paternity suit filed against him six weeks earlier this is a 25 year old woman named felicia paulette walker she gave birth to his daughter maisha who had been who uh who she said whom he had absolutely no intention of supporting in fact after tire hiring a top-notch lawyer in dallas uh the the law firm of aiken, Gump, Strauss, Hauer, and Feld. Wow, they had about four more years of that glory. No one's hired anyone with Gump in the title. Pretty quick, it's time to make that guy just a shadow investor.

Hi, Bob Gump, I'm going to represent you. No, you're not. No, you're not. As a matter of fact. Nope. I've seen your brother Forrest's movie. You can fuck right off, sir. I don't think so.

And by the way, I think your brother's got all the luck. I'm not taking my chances with you. Yeah, how much luck can be in one family? Right. Hey, Michael, how are the other 16 siblings doing? Well, no, I don't think so. Not all of them are playing in the NFL. So they flatly deny paternity. He filed a thing in court on June 8th, 1990, saying they said they filed a thing saying that he was the father. Two weeks later, he married Sandy in Florida.

So then the blood test comes back in the lawsuit. It drags on for two years, this whole lawsuit for paternity. It eventually resulted in a court-ordered $210,000 trust fund for the girl. It is his. It is his, yeah. The blood test came up. It's Michael Irvin's. You are the father.

You are the father, Maury told him. Yeah. And that was that. Myesha receives $1,250 a month in interest payments from her trust, which will vest in her name one day before she turns 18 years old. Then she can have it. So the terms of the settlement here, they got into this court document from this, and it's wild, man. It gets into his finances and all that sort of shit. I guess Walker, this wasn't like a groupie on the side this was like a whole you know not some one night stand this is like a

relationship that he was having on the side with this woman they said that in the court documents the parents of the child are separated and uh they stayed in contact while she was pregnant with the child so he was acting like it was his while she was pregnant he knew the whole time yeah he knew it was his he was he was banging her and then she got pregnant and he hung out with her the whole time and acted like it was his and then when she had it and filed the thing he's like i don't know what the fuck you're talking about it was uh it was interesting a series of questions that ervin's lawyers wanted answered for the lawsuit, Walker was asked if Irvin had ever physically or psychologically abused her or her daughter. And they said at one point during the pregnancy, Walker requested that Irvin provide funds in order so that she could purchase

groceries. Irvin cursed at her and refused. And then he's publicly insulted and humiliated her, calling her profane names such as such as calling her a bitch in the mall in the presence of other people he called her a bitch at the mall he called a pregnant woman a bitch at the mall yeah it's tough to it's tough for the name calling when with that with that baby bump just standing in front of a sabaro justify that screaming at some poor pregnant woman outside of a chess king that's not okay bitch 1988 you bitch i said mrs fields motherfucker walk your fat ass down to wetzel's i want this bullshit it's some bullshit it's garbage this is bull i ain't eating this Annie Ann shit. He said occasional and continually demonstrated total disregard and disrespect for Walker.

Irvin has on several occasions since then called her on the phone and cursed at her. He just calls her up and he's like, you bitch, and then hangs up, I guess. I don't know. Still fat, bitch? Yeah, that's right. Lose that baby weight. Click. He's being abusive.

Now, she's not like his normal kind of side piece either. His normal side chick is a stripper, an escort. He likes adult entertainment type women. She's like a health care. She's like a nurse. Totally different. Candy striper? Yeah.

She attended Bishop College for a year, and then she got pregnant with his child and was working as a medical assistant for Dallas County's Mental Health and Mental Retardation Center. Their words, not mine. She's noble as fuck. Yeah. Yeah. And taking nursing classes at El Centro Community College. I knew there was nursing in there somewhere. She was making seventeen thousand dollars a year at that point.

And so. Yeah. in there somewhere. She was making $17,000 a year at that point. So anyway, court records show in March 1991, she was terminated from her job at the center for which she'd worked for three and a half years, quote, due to excessive absences for child surgery and illness. What?

She lost her job because the kid was sick. My maisha apparently suffered chronic ear infections and finally had tubes implanted in her ears yeah my son had that too yeah mine did too terrible awful pain they scream they have to take him to the doctor all the time so a procedure that was performed there and that was a performed right when she lost her job so she lost her job for surgery so um her paternity case against ervin had been dragging on while all this is going on and um it's just the probability of him being the father was 99.5 percent so it's his um so ervin um at the time she's not getting any money still because the whole court thing is dragging on, dragging on.

A temporary support hearing was finally ordered for March 1st. But the day before the hearing, Irvin's lawyers filed a motion requesting that the hearing be postponed so he can undergo a second blood test. So, they're just trying to drag her out. Oh, Mike. Because, you know, you never know here. Due to what Irvin believes was an irregularity in the first paternity testing procedure. He thought they took a bad test on him. This isn't...

Jesus Christ. Maybe her toe blood is my blood, but check the rest of her. Check the... I think maybe wherever you stuck it in, that part was mine. The needle there, but not anywhere else. I think there's only maybe 0.5% is mine there. He... The second blood test, which which came back it's still his irregularities or not and uh apparently um she uh had to she got temporary support of 1900 a month plus full medical and dental coverage from aisha who was placed by court order on irvin's health insurance plan with the cowboys

sure so you know i assume that's probably a pretty good one. It became inevitable that Irvin was going to have to do this. So Walker explained in writing why she should get custody of Myesha. She said Irvin is currently employed with the Dallas Cowboys. She said he plays a starting position, which requires him to travel with the team. Additionally, Irvin recently married and is attempting to start a new life with his new wife. Walker believes that the additional responsibility of caring for an infant child, who is the product of a previous relationship,

would be a detrimental strain on Irvin's marital relationship. So, you know, you don't want to mess that up. But she's also saying that he, you know, wouldn't pay attention to the kid, basically. Right. So she said she wanted custody. She wanted Irvin to pay $2,500 a month in child support, and he only wanted to pay $800 a month. That's the rub here. So they needed to find financial documentation, so they did.

They found out that when he was born, all of his financial stuff. As a rookie, he made $256,000 in 1990 after a rookie contract because that was after a signing bonus. $300,000 in 91, and he was spending everything, basically. He was burning through it. They did an inventory of his assets and liabilities and said that he's already supporting his wife he's supporting his mother and then he also is supporting um another woman in dallas that he was going out with he's supporting her he's now he's got to support uh felicia and maisha and on top of that he's giving money to shit loads of his siblings who are coming up and he's trying

to support them too this is how you go broke this what I mean. You got a lot going on here. Uh, he, his house wasn't that big. He bought a modest brick home purchased shortly after he arrived. It costs him $1,636 a month. He's driving a 1988 BMW. He was paying $626 a month on,

and he took out a $1 million life insurance policy that was costing him $6,200 a year in premiums. So $500 a month for life insurance. He had a house full of furniture, living room pieces, four-bedroom sets, but it wasn't like anything fancy, anything like that. He had two big-screen TVs, stereos, VCRs, all that sort of thing. His visa had an outstanding balance of $9,800. Doesn't that make you feel better? Yeah, it does.

That's zero. Everybody out there, well, either way, if you have some credit card debt, just know that he was an NFL wide receiver, huge star, and he still owed $10,000 on his visa card. So it's fine. His legal bills were hefty, too. For the paternity case, he had to pay twenty seven thousand dollars in legal bills okay so it's it's a lot here uh he had one money market account with twenty five hundred dollars account in it and two checking accounts with five hundred dollars and thirteen thousand dollars in them respectively no money he had thirteen thousand five hundred dollars liquid to his name

but he owed ten grand yeah so not great he's like he's got like three thirteen or three thousand five hundred dollars of net net worth at this point it's not good here he's paying the two thousand twenty dollars a month mortgage on his mom's house paying all the utilities and maintenance he's also paying for his mom's new car her car insurance her gas her maintenance her groceries her clothing and every other thing she bought because he pays her credit card bill. So he was, you know, so he's he's stretched to the limit here, which is, you know, kind of what you expect when you're doing this. He they. So anyway, Walker's agreement is constructed in a way that it blocks my issue from sharing. If she wants more money, like if he, let's say, signs a 50 million dollarha from sharing if she wants more money like if he let's

say signs a 50 million dollar contract she can't get more money yeah that's how it's that's how it's structured that's how it should be yeah i mean for for some of this shit if he's but he's not paying that much though right it's kind of but if he's if she's getting 2500 a month for for a kid she shouldn't be getting just because he makes more money doesn't mean his dollar is now worth less uh that's true that's true but if dad has you know makes 50 million dollars uh you're gonna $2,500 is fine if she wants to live better and wants to live in dad's go ahead i'm talking about the daughter, though. Oh. You could do better for your kid than that. Well, then she can come live with me, goddammit. If you make an exorbitant $50 million.

Let her live with me, and then you pay me child support. But your wife doesn't want her. That's a good point. That's the difference. It's detrimental to your fucking relationship. You tried to say the blood test was fake jimmy that's a good point jimmy you tried to skirt your responsibility with this child at every turn and now now out of nowhere because you don't want to pay you're saying just have

him come with me why would i let her jimmy why that's a good point you tell me why i keep forgetting that he's not a good father that's hilarious oh i love it so much so uh yeah if walker ever petitions the court for more money my ish's trust would automatically revert back to michael irvin so they're not even allowed to file for anything so 1990 cowboys go seven and nine michael plays in 12 games 20 receptions five touchdowns. Still not really that successful. Off the floor, though, he's really making a name for himself. In 1991, he takes over the Hoopsters. Now, have you ever heard of this, the Dallas Cowboys quote-unquote charity basketball team?

No, and I already hate it. Oh, boy. Well, the Hoopsters, they basically use it as kind of a roving party fund where they charge charities to show up. Because that's what people do. Nobody does charity shit for free. You know what I mean? If you see a comedian at a big charity show, they're getting paid to be there. That's how they're drawing people in.

You know what I mean? That's how it works. So very rarely do people do things for charity. Yeah. The charity benefit may be benefiting something, but this benefit is also benefiting me tonight. That's the way it works. So that's what they would do. Apparently, the president of the Little Dribblers, which is the worst name for a youth basketball

team ever. It's a youth basketball team? It's a youth basketball team. The Little Dribblers, which is the worst name for a youth basketball team ever. It's a youth basketball team? It's a youth basketball team. The Little Dribblers. Gross. Disgusting. They presented the Hoopsters with a $5,600 check for a March 5th appearance. And less than a week before the game, they were told by Michael Irvin that the fee had

increased to $7,000 plus expenses. He's jacking up the price now. Yeah, because that was the previous hoopster regime's price. He wants more. The guy said, I called Irvin back and told him that we didn't want them. To this day, we've never seen our $5,600.

So they still kept the $5,600. Oh, that's fucked up, man. From the little dribblers. So Irvin's priority, they said, were money, winning, and post-game sexual pursuits, as Jeff Perlman put it. And that sounds right. So, first of all, they had to win. This wasn't for fun for them. They were like, they would fucking, Michael Irvin would yell at you if you missed a three-pointer.

Like, you had to beat these people no matter what. Even if it made everybody hate you. One time, he got so mad at a foul call that the unpaid volunteer referee, it's a charity game, named Willie Summerling, he yelled obscenities at him, and when Summerling ordered him to relax, Michael punched him in the mouth,

breaking his dental plate. Oh, my God. Yeah. Charity basketball game. Hit him hard. Punched him in the face. Yeah. For telling him not to curse at him during the game.

There was 2,000 people there, most of them kids. That's a nice fucking game, as Frankie Carbone would say. Jesus Christ. They flew to Mexico City for a game. They flew to Mexico City for a game. They flew to Las Vegas for a game. They played the Redskins in Washington. All this sort of shit. They said, once we played these soldiers in Killeen

and we needed an escort out of the stadium because they would try to win and they would take cheap shots at people. So all the soldiers wanted to fucking murder them. So they're assholes um so apparently uh the whole point of it was to hang out the travel there the travel the partying around it it was a good way to get out they'd get into their booze and coke and weed and mainly women though afterwards uh they would have they would head to you know out to a club after the game and then they would fly

back home they'd have a private jet and all that sort of thing you know they would uh they would just fucking hang out basically and uh everybody wanted to hang out around them because they had women flocking to them awesome yeah so they said quote one guy said here it didn't matter if you were a dope dealer a channel 5 tv reporter or a judge on the U.S. District Court. You weren't getting you weren't getting the women the cowboys were getting. It was just that was Nate Newton talking about shit. He said, you know, he said if the women were attractive, maybe you could spend a night. Sometimes they'd get the really hot ones on the private airplane with them.

They said they really, really liked, though, if they could get multiple women to put on a show for them that was their main thing that they liked which based on that our bonus episode about the minnesota vikings party boat that seems to be an nfl favorite yeah they really is they want they really want to watch a girl go down on another girl they love that yeah that's their favorite so the the plane rides were crazy they had a private plane and they love that yeah they're into that favorite so the the plane rides were crazy they had a private plane and they said that uh once they got women who would put on a show one guy here uh who was kind of a team like a he worked for the team and he turned out to be kind of michael irvin's right hand man wingman type of thing here yeah head cover-up guy he said that that's when it got really crazy

to call those flights off the hook doesn't do anything justice i don't think there's a word for what went on we filled those planes with more more women than we did players and they were willing to do anything absolutely anything oh boy he said once they got up there alvin harper they nicknamed him freaky harp because he do weird, freaky shit with the women. He was married, of course, to his high school sweetheart. But they said he just basically he just basically doled out dick anywhere he could. He was a Johnny Appleseed here. He was going off.

He said he one time was banned from the men's club of Dallas, which is a strip club. To be a Dallas cowboy and get banned from this place is impressive. Like, very impressive. What do you have to do to get banned from it? I would like to know. You have to have sex in a phone booth on the premises. Oh, my God. And be caught doing it and get booted out.

That is so gross. Yeah. I mean, that can't be your first thing either. I'm sure that was like, you know what? This is enough now. How many times can we catch you in the phone booth? Is that even? Why would you even do that?

That's more getting attention than it is hiding you know what i mean yeah that's how horny he is like he's a he's really into it um apparently when he was a rookie alvin harper michael irvin told him quote i catch the balls here i get my share and you get the rest so he was like know your fucking place basically and it's not the number one guy uh 1991 cowboys go 11 and 5 they actually go to the playoffs that year yeah they beat the uh they beat the bears uh 17 13 in the first round and then lose 38 to 6 to the lions in the second round no kidding that and the lions got stomped by the redskins i think after that So this year, though, Michael Irvin is an all-pro, first-team all-pro, and a pro bowler.

This is where he comes out of his shell, starts all 16 games, catches 93 balls for 1,523 yards. This is when Troy Aikman started hitting his groove a little bit, so it helped. He ate touchdowns as well. Now, this is also, he became kind of the official party captain of the team. This was his role. They would say to become a real cowboy once you got on the team, basically you had to go out and run with Michael Irvin's son or else you were like not a social cowboy.

You were a pariah. Basically, he deemed it his duty to welcome people to the fold. The new guys, he said that they go to the bar. All the drinks were on him at strip clubs. He would unroll a big wad of bills and dish them out to all the people to throw at the strippers. He did all that kind of shit. He paid for everything. Then he would stay out late and all that sort of shit.

And then the next day, he would fuck with them about being messed up in practice. When they're throwing up, he'd be like, what's wrong with you? Well, look at you. You can't even hold your water down.

Well, look at this pussy. Blah, blah, blah. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. I'm Darcy

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wondery plus in the wondery app or on apple podcasts because he was like rick flair he could party till fucking six in the morning and then show up at eight at practice and run around all day wow and be fine as he was he's the rick flair of football this guy it's it's interesting that's the best way to put it is i could picture him in a robe exposing his dick to people couldn't you yeah with a little powder on his nostril yeah absolutely go woo look at it yeah so uh he said uh this anthony mont, who's the team employee who ran errands for Irvin, he said, I was Mike's right hand man when it came to picking up women. We'd have a practice. Then we'd go straight to the titty bar, the limo driver, Michael and myself.

Michael would pick out who he wanted. Then tell me what time to come back and pick him up. That's what he would do. Get her for me and then come back and get us at this time. This isn't, what? This isn't like a drive-thru where you're looking at the menu. Apparently, if you're on the Dallas Cowboys, it is. Wow.

Basically, like a drive-thru where you're looking at the menu. And they did it, and they did it. The guy said, happened hundreds of times. This is just, that was the routine. He said he was happily married uh to the dolphins cheerleader sandy there he said but he never felt you know never thought twice about doing his thing they said uh sandy says quote there was a lot of iii me me me because he was the man just because of how easy it came the women the drugs it was available wherever he turned. Obviously. Yeah. He they said he liked he liked being naked in front of a mirror and looking at admiring himself.

It's called vanity. He would stand there. You want to hear vanity? He would say, quote, How can I allow only one woman to have a body this good to his wife? He said that to just know to like whoever he'd say in the locker room all the time he goes seriously look at me i'm beautiful how how could i he said quote this is the body you will aspire to have you tell the other players this is the body you will aspire to achieve you will not achieve it but this is the body that you will strive to achieve

you won't get it you won't get it but this is what you're going for here you're chasing babe looking for this um one cowboy teammate said quote man mike was something he was incredibly cocky before a game he'd have people from versace enter the locker room and measure him for a suit jesus christ he's like a 70s throwback you know what i mean i love this shit he wanted to pick a feather from some exotic animal and put it in his derby hat he wanted you give me like one of those raccoon feathers no no some just get me like some extinct like a dodo bird i want some extinct shit hard to i want nobody else to have my feather. Extinct feather. Give me that shit.

I want you to find me a feather on an alligator and put that shit in my hand. That's what I want. He wanted crocodile shoes with the tongue raised. Yeah. Yeah, that sort of shit. It's flashy. Mostly, they said it was the women. He said Mike literally had a swarm of women at his beck and call in every NFL city.

And I'm not talking about eights or nines. These girls 12s so he was just yeah yeah he wasn't tiger woods in it yeah he was picking the ones he wanted out it's uh they said that irvin was like a god to the younger players you know he would take them out buy them dinner point to a girl at the bar and say quote i'm gonna give her to you some stranger you don't own what you don't have or own her but they said moments later irvin would be whispering in her ear you know blah blah blah talking to her next thing you know he'd be touching her on the back on the arm eventually he'd nod toward the teammate and that was that and they'd go fuck they'd hook up he said quote mike got more cowboys laid than touchdown catches it was his present to the teammates that's what that's what reporter says that'll get you some loyalty among your teammates though i imagine yeah you

know he said uh mike one time there was a four-day span where he escorted over a dozen women to his hotel room. All separately. These aren't like four at a time. These are all separately. Who wants four women a day? Do you want to be with four different women a day? No. That sounds awful.

Fucking awful. I'm sorry. It feels like I'm going to disappoint at least 11 women. That's what I mean. That sounds like a lot of shit to fuck up with. A lot of. Yeah. That's a lot of women that are not going to disappoint at least 11 women. That's what I mean. That sounds like a lot of shit to fuck up with. A lot of. Yeah. That's a lot of women that are not going to come right now.

Different. Imagine the different kind of game. Like you're saying something and she's like not going for you. Like, oh, yeah, that was the last one. My bad. Fuck. Which one are you again? Listen, Cheryl.

Yeah. You're the one with the two kids. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. No, I hope your son passes math. Is that what he's having trouble in? I don't't remember i have sex with a lot of women okay i don't remember all of your problems put this in your mouth jesus christ so uh so through all that though he didn't

get caught by his wife doing this he's caught now right well i mean eventually but uh the anthony montoya guy said the one thing i feel guilty about is helping Mike lie so many times to Sandy. He cheated on her nonstop, and we always had to make sure she never found out. It hurt me because she deserved better. I'm sure it was very hurtful to him. Very, very hurtful. It hurt so bad, I had to do it again tomorrow. As he did three strippers at a time.

He's like, this is hurtful to me, Mike. I'm going to have to lie to your wife about this. It's very hurtful. The guy named Jean-Jacques Taylor, who's a Dallas Morning News writer, said Mike had more pussy stories than anyone I've ever met. He was legendary. Legendary in quotes. They said Alvin Harper, Nate Newton, charles haley were also up there pretty high oh i'm sure they were i don't know how nate newton got all those women by the way that's a good point

but charles haley probably he probably told them that he was charles haley yeah well charles haley was a big like handsome like fucking jacked guy and ladies don't know that well from what they said too uh in the book all he always had his cock out pulling it. And he had like a giant cock that he was just like massaging all the time. Charles Haley did that. Charles Haley. Yeah. They said he would be he would be jerking off in team meetings, stroking it to the point where they had to tell him to stop.

Stop stroking your cock, please. Chuck, put that away. What do you say? Jesus Christ. So 1992, Mike misses the preseason with a contract negotiation, but he ends up getting his money. He gets three years, $3.75 million, which was big money back then, obviously. To celebrate, he buys himself a black convertible Mercedes as a present for his bonus.

And windows untinted so everyone can see him. All right. So everyone can see him. No tents. What, am I hiding here? Fuck that. That's wild. You know what?

Grace. Let's give Grace on that. He's got the contract, the Mercedes. His wife's not finding out. Right. Everything's going well for him personally at the moment, sort of. Air travel is a dream to him. He loves it. He loves to fly.

He's got bags just sitting by the door, packed. He can't wait for a road game. Ready to go. 92, Cowboys go 13-3, beat the Eagles in the playoffs. They beat the Niners 30-20 in the championship game. And then beat the ever-living piss out of the Bills in the Super Bowl They beat the Niners 30-20 in the championship game and then beat the ever-living piss out of the Bills in the Super Bowl 52-17.

That was the Michael Jackson Super Bowl halftime show game. Really? No, Whitney Houston was Giants-Bills. This was Michael Jackson halftime show game. Michael's a pro bowler this year. Catches 78 balls for 1,396 yards,

seven touchdowns. Not too shabby. He's even brash at a funeral. What? At Jerome Brown's funeral, Jerome Brown, the Eagles defensive lineman who died in a car accident there. Remember him? Number 99, big giant guy.

He died right then. He was an active player. He was only like 26 years old or something. Damn it. After the funeral, because Jerome Brown was a Miami guy, so they played together. After the funeral, he went to a bar with several Philadelphia Eagle players. And according to two of them, Andre Waters and Wes Hopkins, Irvin joked around and bragged about his exploits on the football field and uh otherwise behaved in a way they deemed inappropriately for a somber occasion irvin said he was just misunderstood okay nobody knows me he says that he and jerome brown along

with some other miami teammates made a vow in college that when one of them died the others would not allow tears at the funeral they felt they had all gotten more out of life than they ever expected to so whoever died would shake god's hand and say thank you it was great and he said humor is one of the healing things in this world which you know i agree i've said some weird shit at funerals too trying to get people to laugh so i don't begrudge him for this uh maybe don't brag about yourself but no make jokes uh one time in a union meeting gene upshaw the head of the union said that ervin made a number of derisive comments including quote i don't want to hear about what you old guys did which is because there was some discrepancy i don't hear about your fucking career yeah there was some

discrepancy with the licensing shit and they said michael you have to do this to lay the groundwork for the people in front of you just like the people behind you laid the groundwork for you and he said i don't want to hear about what you old guys did i want my money now um listen leatherhead just give me a check uh then the rumor is that he then mooned upshaw and left the room he pulled his ass out pulled his ass out which upshaw and michael irvin will neither confirm or deny which means it happened it definitely happened gene upshaw go he didn't put his ass at me if he didn't put his ass at him so uh upshaw when asked about it said quote what he did was immature childish and juvenile

you know like pulling your ass out what i saw was a bunch of teammates looking at him and thinking what a selfish son of a bitch and michael irvin's asshole sir yeah and look at his asshole so may 1993 he is cited for disorderly conduct okay which is you know this seems like it's only seems like it was waiting to happen yeah it seems like that's the start of every evening yeah he was out celebrating his younger brother derrick's graduation from high school and michael tried to bottle buy a bottle of wine from a convenience store the clerk refused to sell it because derrick was 18 and he was with him well okay it's stupid i'm sorry it's his brother yeah but they know they know what's happening but also he's also an adult and if he brings his brother to the grocery store with him to pick

something up and what's he gonna not say it's it's ridiculous where do you draw the line then if a mother goes with her 15 year old kid i can't sell that to you because you could give it to him where do we draw the fucking line yeah it's ridiculous it doesn't matter where you get it even i mean one way or another they're an adult they can get it for him somehow but i guess in a liquor store it's pretty obvious that they're giving that to him i mean it's not necessarily obvious no it's just a very it's his older brother yeah so it's much easier michael immediately went into the quote don't you know who i am thing which in this situation it's not police this might actually work like come on man i'm fucking

michael irvin i'm buying myself a bottle of wine you're gonna break my balls um so the clerk though called the police and they cited him for disorderly conduct because he wouldn't leave the store so that's how that worked uh 1993 cowboys are 12 and 4 they beat the packers in the first round of the playoffs they beat san francisco again in the second round in the championship game and then they ended up stomping the bills 30 to 13 in the super bowl so back-to-back titles for the cowboys he uh michael said everybody says look at that hot dog that cocky so and so i'm just having fun i'm a bad example because i enjoy myself they take me all wrong okay i i agree with that on the field yeah

i have no problem with anything he does on the field no problem i don't mind shit like that on the field yeah i don't mind people celebrating after a touchdown don't let him score if you know i'm gonna fucking celebrate it's a how often do you get a touchdown you know it doesn't happen that often fucking celebrate it he's only getting 12 a year you know like you're what are you playing for other than to celebrate a touchdown like that seems like the whole point of it it's like a goal in hockey that'd be like telling him put it in the net and then somberly skate away no they're gonna throw their arms up and dance around let's do it i don't think the i don't think the dance hurts the uh 52 men on the other side of the field as much as it hurts the 52 000 people in the stands that are there cheering for the eagles that's what it is it's

fans writing letters to goodell or whoever the fuck the tagliabue or whoever the fuck yeah it's that's who it is that that that's they do it, because the guy's tired of fielding all these goddamn letters. Mad at Terrell Owens for having a Sharpie or whatever the bullshit thing. Randy Moss for fake pulling his ass out. Who gives a shit? That's the entertainment. Who cares? Yeah, that's

exactly what I'm saying. I don't fucking care what the hell the guys do after they score a touchdown. Who gives a shit? There's a minute where they have to switch guys on the field anyway for the kick, so who gives a shit? He doesn't have his time. If we take that away from the game, all it is is men giving each other concussions that you're denying happen.

Well, that's why they called it the no fun league forever, the NFL. That's why, because you're not even allowed to fucking have joy. It's terrible. So on the field here, he said, quote, some people might say I'm greedy or selfish, but not my teammates. They understand me. I get them, pussy. He didn't say the last part, but that's kind of what he was saying. I get them coke and blowjobs.

You know how that goes. And Alvin Harper backs him up. He said, everybody on this team wants the ball. We just show it in different ways. We don't look at Mike as selfish when we need to get it done. What the guys in the huddle are saying is let's give it to Mike, which is probably true, too. Now, there's a story from the funny story from him being on a diet. He's at the Palm Restaurant in Dallas.

He tells everybody he's on a diet and all he's going to eat is a plate of clams casino, an appetizer with no main course. OK, he's on a diet he gets the clams eats them all even eats all the dinner rolls on the table sops up all the juice on the plate and everything like that so anyway all the clams are gone and he sopped everything ate all the rolls he calls the waiter over and says you know what diet's over i'd like a four pound lobster please i'm. I'm done. I'm done. I want lobster.

Give me the biggest one you got back there. I've had enough of that shit. Give me that fat fuck in the middle. I'll take him. So that year, though, good year for him. He had 88 catches, 1,330 yards, seven touchdowns. And they said he's the last guy to leave the facility every night. He breaks young players' balls about work habits,

tells them to stay later. He says, where are you going? To watch cartoons? Stay later. Watch film. Do this shit. The quarterbacks, he breaks the backup quarterback's balls to stay after practice to throw him extra routes

when everybody else is gone. So they said he'll throw up on himself and just keep running the routes, puke all over his jersey. He just doesn't care. It's interesting, man. He said he still lived in the kind of modest home at this point. He said, quote, that serious spread, the all-out mansion, I don't do it.

I've got too many people to take care of. I can't go out on the limb. Okay, that's responsible. He does party like a motherfucker, though. They go out to the strip clubs, like we said. They go out to a one, which is owned by Tony Dorsett and Eugene Lockhart, the ex-player. Really?

Yeah, it's a bar, and they would all go there, and then other people started, like groupies and fans, started getting wind of where they would hang out after practice, so they needed another place to hang out. they leased a house yeah for themselves everybody together we pool our money well irvin said quote we did have an extra house um he says uh and after thinking i didn't want to go to hotels and all the problems that they cause i thought maybe we should just get guys together and buy an extra house, a party house, a fuck pit, basically. Let's get a fuck pit.

So it's 114 Dorset Drive there, rented under the name of Alvin Harper. He leased it. It's pretty wild. Basically, they want to keep it low key, but they have like guys and Ferraris bringing like four strippers at a time in. So it's very hard to keep it low key. Like the neighbors tend to notice that shit. Who's that 350 pound guy with four large breasted women pulling up in a Porsche? How does that with one of the women sticking out of the sunroof with her tits out?

How does this work? Exactly. This is not normal in the in the burbs fantastic jesus christ man hey clean up that stickball game we got girls to fuck over here let's go come on clean it up newton nate newton who was a big participant here he says that it wasn't about prostitution though he said quote what did we need prostitutes for women laid down for us uh yeah jesus christ um so uh one guy a team the team's beat writer for the fort worth star telegram said it was a frat house but most most frat houses don't specialize in hookers and cocaine but the girls weren't weren't they weren't buying them they were partying with them yeah that's very degrading um so yeah they said it was definitely noticeable from the neighbors one of irvin's close friends

said quote everything that happened in the white house i'm assuming uh padini had a camera on it who was it was the guy that they hired to install video cameras hidden throughout the bedrooms wow hidden throughout the bedrooms. Wow. So they could film their escapades. That's extra scummy. Yeah, that's some Dennis Reynolds Always Sunny in Philly shit. That's like a comic level scumbag, that is.

That's awful. So he said, quote, he didn't tell the guys they were being filmed at the time, but surprised they were. Jesus Christ. That's wild. They hired cleaning ladies for $75 a week, who must have just imagined what they...

Oh, Jesus. One of the friends said they used to find all kinds of crazy, crazy shit. You can't even imagine. Sex toys and jizz and drugs. What's the silver-haired middle-aged white man reaction to the White House? What does Jerry Jones say about it? And the what's the silver haired middle aged white man reaction to the White House? OK, what does Jerry Jones say about it? He's always that's kind of what it was.

Well, when it came became public a couple of years later, he says, quote, I called I called to ask Michael to get out of a meeting and come into my office. When he walked through the door, I unfolded the big paper in front of him and said what do you have to say about this it was a newspaper with it in there and uh or he said urban didn't blink he looked at me and he said jerry this is a classic case of trying to do the wrong thing in the right way wait what it is classic cake yeah i wanted to fuck women and do all this shit but i tried to do it under the radar so you wouldn't get any shit and it just didn't work so jerry said quote now how can you stay mad or how can and how can you not love that answer how how can you stay mad and or how can you not love that answer because it's fucking bullshit that's why jesus because it didn't work jare because they got caught jerry says uh i love him because i see so much of me in him in that a lot of what we are on uh overcoming a lot of what we are overcoming are our foibles i'm a guy that used eight of my nine lives so he's saying he

likes michael irving because he lives on the edge too right basically so so he takes it was athletic and i could be him that also said that would be great well he was a college football player jerry jones yeah played for arkansas i played with jimmy johnson obviously that was good no no i think he was actually played in the pros for two years or so but did he yeah but he wasn't like a star and uh he decided he wanted to make a lot of money instead in 1994 12 and 4 this is after jimmy johnson leaves barry switzer comes in okay not the same kind of coach uh this year they lose in the championship game to the packers 38 28 and the packers go on to win it uh michael ervin is a pro bowler though again 120 or i'm sorry 79 catches 1241 six touchdowns. So he keeps his stuff going.

This is the year, February 1995, he becomes the highest paid wide receiver in NFL history at the time. With how much? With a five-year $12,326,400 contract. That's the highest paid. Staggeringly low compared to today. Now it's like $ hundred million right say money it's fucking crazy he made 12 million bucks and he was doing backflips back four million five

hundred thousand dollar and two hundred five hundred thousand two hundred dollar signing bonus so uh yeah apparently uh he said jones said quote michael had become has become tonight the highest paid receiver in the NFL in the history of football. In every way, he's got the most take-home pay, he's got the biggest gross dollars, and he's got the biggest bonus that there's been. So they just lined it up, gave it to him. 95, they go 12-4 again. This year they beat the Eagles and Packers in the playoffs,

and this was the Arizona Super Bowl. The one in Phoenix where they beat the Steelers 27-17. They beat Neil O'Donnell. So I don't know how proud of that you can be. I mean, you won the Super Bowl, but Neil O'Donnell, really? Yeah. That's like when the Colts beat the Bears and Rex Grossman was the quarterback. You proud of that?

How proud are you of that? Not a lot to display on that ring, Peyton. Calm down. Yeah. I mean, it was rex grossman a little you know i don't know at least eli can be like yeah these are both tom brady two of these you know like he can tell his brother tom brady tom brady you got there rex grossman that's what i thought you know like oh yeah cam newton and rex grossman good for you brady and see this one that's also Brady.

Right up the middle. I wear it on the middle finger. See that, Peyton? Brady. Just for you. 95-16 games for Michael. Catches 111 balls. So earns his contract.

He's the type of guy where if you give him money, he'll play twice as hard, too. Because he wants that money. 1,6003 yards and 10 touchdowns hustling yeah march 4th 1996 here is an article from sports illustrated because some shit happens on march 4th 1996 this comes from a later article he says quote i would go out and spend my off season city to city chasing women drinking getting high doing those things that's his off season yeah which is my wife must be thrilled about he's gone all year playing football in the off season he's out partying city to city city to city like when the fuck do you stay home

wow what an understanding wife that's crazy uh he said, the last day of his partying would always be the second week in March or March 5th, given that that date was his birthday. Sometimes he would stop that because then he had to be in training. He had to pass all his tests. Yeah, he had to be ready for football. And you got to spend that day with the wife. You can't spend that on the road. Your birthday. What do you think?

You think he's going to spend it with his wife? What do you think? You think he's going to spend it with his wife? He says, quote, so in my pea brain up here, I had rationalized that I could have all this fun in the world and have one final birthday party. And then, bam, I start training. And then when I start training, I went back and all I did was play football. That was his plan here. So that night, we'll find out how it happens, but he ends up being busted with a former teammate, two strippers, ten and a half grams of cocaine, an ounce of weed, shitloads of drug paraphernalia, and a bunch of sex toys in a hotel. That is a night.

That's a night. And when the cop showed up, he said, quote, hey, can I tell you who I am? So, not good. You'd think he'd be trying to hide who you are at that point bob bob parker yeah bob parker that's who i am instead he's like you guys like football wow four police officers arrived at room 624 at the residence in an Irving. Oh, Mike. At least get a nice hotel. Not that that's not nice, but if you're a football player, get a fucking fancy hotel.

I don't know. He's doing what happens at a residence in. So maybe he's in the right place. You know what? Yeah. Residence in. You got yourself some strippers and cocaine. Residence in is for you.

We would have gone to the red roof, but it was booked with worse people doing worse shit we would have went to the red roof but nobody wanted a free base so we had to stay here if you do it in powder form you're not allowed in there they only it's only rock allowed the red roof sorry uh so it's room 624 four police officers arrive and the hotel manager on duty called called with a complaint of noise and possible prostitution so an officer knocked on the door repeatedly he says quote we could tell there were a number of people moving around you know hiding shit lots of thumps in there yeah when we did get the door partially open, they had the security bar on it. So that latched and only lets it open a little bit. A big cloud of marijuana smoke came out.

So that's a bad sign. The door was shut for another minute, according to police, and then opened completely by a young woman in a black miniskirt and a halter top. They were like, you talk to him. See if your tits will get us out of this. top yeah they were like you talk to him see if your tits will get us out of this behind her was another woman also fully dressed and two men tall and muscular as he described him wearing pants but no shirts or shoes just pants they found in the room two dinner plates on one they said was cocaine and on the other was coke and weed. So that's how much they had. They just put it on dinner plates.

That's some shit. In the residence inn. Those are the ones that are in the cabinet, because this is an extended stay place. It's got a kitchen in it. It's got silverware. That's why they're there, because they're like, we need a place with dinner plates. The Red Roof doesn't with dinner plates. The red roof doesn't do dinner plates. You need one of these extended stage joints with some fucking traveling insurance salesman next door to me going, I wish my life was that good.

They said once the handcuffs came out, one of the men said, hey, can I tell you who I am? It was Michael Irvin. Oh, don't worry. We're going to need to know who you are. Don't worry. We got your ID. The officer said, quote, I know who you are, and then handcuffed him. So it didn't work exactly.

It was $119 a night hotel room. Oh, God. Do better. In there were two, quote, self-employed models, as they put it. Right. There were two, quote, self-employed models, as they put it. Right. Angela Renee Beck, who was 22, and Jasmine Jennifer Nabwangu, who was 21, and a former University of Miami and Cowboys teammate, tight end Alfredo Roberts, who's also one of Irvin's business partners.

So they were partying. They seized all the coke, like we said. It's a shitload of coke they had basically and uh i mean legally wise anyway and rolling papers and razors and tubes with residue in it for snorting and you know all the accoutrement as it was going down beck the one girl said quote this is all mine what she said i bought it it's all mine that Sorry. And they said, quote, we don't arrest. It's not unusual for us to get loud party party calls and for officers to walk into a room full of people with drugs lying around. We don't arrest everyone in the room.

You had somebody saying it's mine, all mine. And based upon the location of where a lot of it was found, it substantiated her claim that it was hers. Yeah, right. Supporting all alone yeah at 1 15 a.m they released the police released three of them and kept beck uh they kept her for another hour and a half she's booked on possession of cocaine and marijuana and uh they said quote obviously she did take the rap for everyone involved is what they said uh so at 3.50 a.m. she did get her first visitor, who was Irvin's lawyer.

That was nice of him. Yep, and another lawyer, one lawyer said, quote, I'm not exactly sure who called me, but somebody said she was in jail, so I said I'll go talk to her and tell her I'll get her out. She's released the next morning on a $5,500 bond, which she doesn't have,

because we'll talk about it, she doesn't have any money, she says. She's a self-employed model. Yep, she'll be represented by James A. Rolfe, a prominent Dallas lawyer and friend of Irvin's lawyer. So he has also represented Kenny Rogers and numerous other Texas celebrities. And Lee Harvey Oswald.

And Willie Nelson, probably. I don't know who else is there and the well no he he died never mind so uh somebody else so uh um they said the uh it's very difficult to believe based on the circumstances the amount of marijuana smoke that came out of the door the drug scattered in different locations throughout the split level room that all of this belongs to one person duh that's what the prosecutor said. Jesus Christ. No shit. The woman described, another woman described as a former roommate of Beck's told the press,

quote, I know who brought the Coke to the room and it wasn't Angela Beck. Angela Beck couldn't afford $50 worth of groceries, yet she had $1,500 in cocaine. No way. Yeah. $1,500 in cocaine? No way. Yeah. By the way, one of the snorting tubes with cocaine residue in it was found in Irvin's

overnight bag. Okay. That's hers, though. It's all hers. She keeps her stuff in his bag. He stole it from me. That's what it is. He's such a thief, this guy. He didn't want me doing all the coke, so he took my straw. That's what happened. He was like, listen, take it easy. Listen, that's a lot of coke, little lady.

Calm down now. So they said the police and prosecutors said that Irving and Beck had an ongoing relationship. So this wasn't like a, you know, they hung out all the time. And the woman who talked to the press said she'd been with Beck and Irving at the residence inn before also. This was their spot that they partied at. Yeah. It must have been getting real out of control.

Beck used to work at the Men's Club of Dallas, the place where Alvin Harper got kicked out of for having sex in a phone booth. Okay. It's a strip club that many of the Cowboys came to, and it's believed, this is a great line, it's a place believed by its management to enjoy a classy reputation nick nemeth the manager said quote we even serve lobster oh well that makes it great then i want shellfish with my fucking boobs crabs sir yeah what the fuck kind of goddamn what is that arrest on your laurels with lobster that's where you're gonna

we'll serve something from the sea to cover up the smell in here we got too many girls What is that? Are you going to rest on your laurels with lobster? That's where you're going to rest? We'll serve something from the sea to cover up the smell in here. We got too many girls. I'm sorry. That was terrible. But this is ridiculous. That was his thought initially. Something with some shells that'll sit in the trash.

I mean, all them women are going to stink from the sun, right? He just doesn't know. Doesn't know women uh so uh mike bailey the residence in manager said beck and nabwangu were more than occasional visitors to the hotel in his call to the police on that night he said quote they've been running the rooms and we have to clean up after him so they're here all the time doing this um they described the rental patterns established by beck and nabwangu uh who haven't been charged with prostitution or anything. The manager said, quote, a lot of people coming in and out.

I mean, it's boom, boom, boom. Like by the hour, people are coming in and out of the room. You know, like a like a hotel, you know, like hotels. So apparently early on during this, Drew Rosenhouse was his agent, that asshole. And, uh, he said that he told Irvin to quote, hang in there. And Irvin said, hang in for what? And Rosenhouse says, quote, he just acts like there's nothing wrong with there's some sort of media conspiracy for this.

Like it's nothing. Chris Carter, the wide receiver NFL analyst Irvin will say later on quote even though i love chris to death i don't know what year it was we were in the pro bowl chris said to my wife to my wife you know mike would never he would never come out of his problem until you leave him until you leave him for years i've held that i never shared that with anybody i was so hurt when chris because he was out of line fuck then and now And now he's out of line. Now he's pissed off. He's still mad at him. So what?

Narked me out. That son of a bitch. A bastard. The consequences for this. Irvin and the two women are indicted on second degree felony charges of cocaine possession. So he ends up getting charged and misdemeanor marijuana charges. Now, the jury selection for this, when it happened, it was hard to get jurors. Sure.

During this, the prosecutor asked if there were any Cowboys fans in the room, and almost half of the 57 prospective jurors said they were Cowboys fans. They were wearing a Cowboys shirt. One guy had a Trey Aikman jersey on. Yeah. Emmett Smith was one of the jurors. You know, it's just he was just him sitting there with his own jersey on a lot of guys with blue stars tattooed on their shoulder

of the 28 who raised their hands that's great four said they could not be sure they could not or were unsure if they could put aside their feelings for the cowboys if chosen for service oh wow i just i just love them too much i know i'm an adult but i just love them too much that i just can't put my feelings aside i just can't i want to win too bad back to back your honor a female juror said her daughter was about to become a dallas cheerleader so she was out and her husband had had business dealings with team owner Jerry Jones. Another woman said her daughter was infatuated with Michael Irvin. Yeah.

She sees him all over the house. She wants to be one, too. Yeah. No shit. So the trial Irvin was with his attorneys. His wife did not show up for the trial. By the way, she showed up afterwards. You don't want to hear this.

Well, the attorneys were pissed off because they wanted her there to look like a you know he's a good guy with support system and all that another topless dancer and this one is going to be a real this is the the wrench in the whole thing rochelle smith she testified that she witnessed ervin using drugs at the same hotel less than a month before his arrest um after she testifies by the way because then she ends up doing a closed door statement as well irvin decides to do a plea deal he pulls back and goes never mind oh her oh boy yeah she's the one that makes him go let's just make a deal i don't want this to go forward so um yeah she is uh her boyfriend is a Dallas police officer as well.

So this is interesting here. Now we'll find out more about him a lot more in a second. So she testified under a grant of immunity that Irvin threatened and strip searched her twice after she testified before the Dallas grand jury. Yeah. Said he pulled she pulled it pulled her in a room and said, like, you know, if you have a wire on, you're never going to see your fucking family again. That's what she said. Yeah. She's Daryl Johnston said it was affecting Michael Irvin a lot.

He said you could see it in his face. He looked thin. He looked tired. And then he said maybe it'll be the best thing for him because it'll give him some closure. He can get on with his life now. We'll see. Give him some closure. He can get on with his life now.

We'll see. So under the plea deal, prosecutors agreed to defer a sentence of up to 20 years in prison for the coke. That was a. Yeah. If Irvin stays out of trouble for you, sir, may fuck off four years of probation. He was facing 20 years. He's facing 20 years up to 20 years. So he if he violates probation probation he faces the full sentence that's the probation agreement in the plea deal so he's got to keep his shit

together um his attorney says michael's glad to get this behind him and get back on with his life he intends to get down to austin to be a part of training camp and help the Dallas Cowboys, blah, blah, blah. Keep your proverbial nose clean, man. No shit. Also, 800 hours of community service, $10,000 fine, and he is suspended for the first five games of the 1996 season as well by the NFL. That hurts. Now, it gets worse.

The fallout from this, this Rochelle Smith, she says that her common law husband at the time is a dallas police officer named johnny hernandez she said that on uh february 5th 12th and 19th she and angela beck the one who claimed all the cocaine right uh were uh uh there they checked in to an irving texas motel where they were joined by Michael Irvin who brought marijuana and cocaine and watched the two women have sex. So that's what he likes. She said he would chop up crack

cocaine and rolled up the chips of it into joints, basically. Smoke, I think that was a woolly back in the day is what you'd call that. A crack joint, basically. Or crack blunt. Yeah.

So he that's what they said. Basically, he tries to get her to be quiet, according to her. Wow. She said that she was subpoenaed by the grand jury because she had been at the residence in and all that sort of thing. She appeared before the grand jury without an attorney, all that sort of thing. She had appeared before the grand jury without an attorney, all that sort of shit. They said she kept talking for several hours, and this is the prosecutor. Rochelle told me that she had been to the hotel with Michael,

and they were physically involved. Smith called Irvin to tell him she had gone to the grand jury, and Irvin had two gophers, Dennis Padini, who we've talked about, and Anthony Montoya, who we've brought up, take her to an apartment so he could question her. So he had two of his thugs go pick her up, basically. And according to this source, the men, fearing that she might be wired, strip searched her before they would let her talk to Irvin. So then, according to the source, Irvin said Irvin, quote quote told her that it would be real foolish to say that stuff in court.

And then he told her she would regret it. Okay. So, um, now, uh, Hernandez, Johnny Hernandez, he gets pissed about this. He hears about it. Her common law husband, he began, he's furious. So he unknowingly struck up a relationship with someone acting as an informant for the Dallas police and the DEA. OK, now he decides that he talks to this informant and broaches the possibility of hiring this guy to kill Michael Irvin. What are you doing, man?

That's what he said. That's what he said. The informant put Johnny Hernandez in touch with an undercover DEA agent, and Hernandez came up with $2,960 in cash. Jesus, he was scraping it down. I got three 20s. Anybody? I'm trying to get to three. Come on.

Who's got two more 20s? Think about that. That is a very reasonable amount of money to kill the highest profile wide receiver in the NFL. What do you always say james if you if you can afford it yeah if you if you ask someone to kill someone and how much and they give you a price and you go that's not bad that's not a real hitman that's a cop if you can afford it it's a cop so apparently it was a reasonable three000. That's reasonable. Three grand? Well, no, 30,000 was the whole deal. It was going to be 30,000, but 3,000 was like his down payment, I guess.

10% you want to put down. He couldn't even get there. Like it's a car. That's what I mean. It's like another 220s. Come on. He ends up being arrested during the trial. So this became a big thing during the trial.

He got arrested during Michael Irvin's trial. Right. He was taped in multiple conversations with various informants describing how he could only come up with $2,960,000 of the $30,000 required to pull it off. He agreed to pay off the remaining balance by protecting drug dealers from police investigations. They said, well, we know some drug dealers. If you could protect them, then you could work it off. And he was like, great, I'll do that then. Oh oh my god they're just getting him dig digging deeper and deeper and

deeper he made multiple payments and then was arrested during the trial of my of michael irvin here so um yeah uh one of his officer friends said quote johnny was a real boy scout a real weenie of a guy but he also had a streak of that macho cop thing in him that's what got him doing something like this no shit um the one guy a police source said this is a jealousy thing it isn't going to be a great super spy novel they were like it's all good don't worry about it he's it's not the police department don't look at this it's just one guy. Another one, Smith said she will stand by her man. She said, quote, he's a really great guy. He just tried to kill an NFL superstar.

You know how that goes. But I mean, for me, isn't that sweet? No one's ever tried to kill anyone for me. She said, quote, all he ever wanted was to be a police officer and work with kids. And all this, I believe he had nothing but good intentions you can't murder for hire it's not good intentions i believe you but i don't believe you yeah so hernandez is sentenced to six years in prison as part of a plea agreement in exchange for a guilty plea of attempted solicitation of capital murder and michael is his wife now knows about everything his wife now knows about all the shit he's been doing right for you imagine that coming out at

home imagine the fucking fallout from that holy shit yeah being in that room yeah like you're not getting out of that living room no you're not going around yeah that's fucking off living in the nevada desert in the 50s that's you're dangerous you are stranded out there so he gets home and his wife gives him the fucking what for as you can imagine just burying him you no good so and so and all this shit i mean imagine the shots fired you know she's got to be just throwing it out and he's just like whoa he will he wants out of it but how do you get out of this and then the phone rings yeah then he's like fuck thank god phone ring that good anything to get me out of this he picks it up and it's worse than his wife you know who it is

jimmy it's andrew theron ice cream company marketing expert and fraudulent payday loan scam avenger from boston and he says uh how is it you come to arrive here guy look at you you lousy bastard you know i tracked you down i hunted you i hunted you michael ervin what do you think of that pal i hunted you you know why you're a bum how'd you get my information michael you're a bum mich How'd you get my information, Michael? You're a bum, Michael Irvin. That's why. What? You didn't? What do you mean you haven't been trying to collect my debt? I don't.

It doesn't matter. I still, I hunted you, you bastard. Michael. And then he breaks through the window. He hears nothing. And Mike, he's actually outside. He comes in on a grappling hook through the window, busts through the glass. Michael Irvin's very freaked out.

I found you. Here you are. Look at you. You lousy bum. You're holding women in rooms. You piece of shit. You got all sorts of money. You never got with Belichick. That's the problem. He would have straightened you out. But look at you. Now you're a fucking bum. You know what's going to happen, right? I'm going to rape your wife.

I'm going to rape your goddamn wife. Where is she, Michael Irvin? I don't care if I got no beef with you. I'm raping her. wife. Where is she? I'm going to rape your goddamn wife. Where is she, Michael Irvin? I don't care if I got no beef with you. I'm raping her. Let's go. Come on. No. And then he decides against it.

Stop calling me, Michael. Michael Irvin, I hunted down your information. I got you. And I'm here. And I'm coming for you. I'll tell you what. If you ever try to collect a fucking debt on me, I'm coming for you. You better hide your wife is all I got to say. And then he jumps back out the window and poof he's gone

andrew theron he's gone avenging i'm gonna rape your wife wicked hard i tell you get her over here where is she oh no that's terrible but you had to if you didn't hear the last episode that's gonna sound really crazy trust us that's a real guy and he's awesome so uh now sandy actually is very mad at him but she told him she wasn't gonna leave him at all what she said listen to this quote this is some shit this is uh if you're gonna be like a cheating kind of like, you know, real philandering asshole kind of guy like Michael Irvin. Make sure your wife's religious because that'll get you out of a lot of shit. It's a good way to find a ride or die.

If she knows the book of Psalms, you're going to be in good shape. She's going to put up with a lot. Yeah. She told him, quote, I've already heard from God. So God's spoken on the whole thing he's heard already she said i am your wife you need to go make your peace with god so she's like you don't have to make your peace with me i'm just here on earth it's god who you got to make peace with he's like fuck cool done later shit oh i did that yeah he said quote she took the

fight from between me and her where i thought oh i got a shot to convince and confuse her and she put it be the fight between me and god where there was no winning for me it was really brilliant actually she's like damn well played lady fuck i was gonna try to lie to you i can't lie to that man shit um. He says, quote, if I was with two women, I wanted to have four. With four, I wanted to have six. It got out of hand. I look back and think, thank God I got caught. Thank God I got caught when I did.

Yeah. That's like what Jake the Snake Roberts said in his episode. Yeah. Like, you know, you want this, you want four, you want weird shit. Ninety-six Cowboys are ten and six. They beat theings in the first round and lose to the panthers in the fucking divisional round there so dallas fans are not happy about going from uh you know winning the super bowl to losing to an expansion team right

michael has uh 64 catches for 962 yards his first non-thousand yard season since 1990 but he still has uh averages 15 yards a catch so not terrible he only played in 11 games that's a reason may 8th 1997 a son is born oh boy she had his kid after that she's like you know what drop one in me um guess what his name is what is it michael jr of course of course there's never a guy in the history of this show that we expect to name their kid Jr. It's Michael Irvin. It's Michael Irvin. He's going to be like forming to name all his kids Michael Jr. Yeah.

Even the girls, everybody. It doesn't matter. He's not even going to have the wherewithal to go with like Georgina, like Michaela or something. He's just naming them straight up Michael. Michael. That's Michael girl. That's who she is. Girl Michael, we call her. That's it. Girl Mike girl that's who she is girl michael we call her that's it she's girl michael 1990 yeah yeah mikey with an eye it's fine

so 1997 the cowboys are six and ten not good no um michael though 75 catches 1180 yards nine touchdowns plays in all 16 games doing great yeah he has a great year 1998 uh is a huge incident during training camp it's july 29th 1998 uh that morning a dallas-based barber made his way out to the training facility that's what they do they bring barbers there so the guys will stay in the training facility so you bring bring everything they need in. And he's cutting all their hairs kind of like prison style, basically. There's a line. You jump in. You get your hair cut.

So this barber named Vinny here, he drove out to where the team held its training camp, set up his chair inside the cowboy dorm. And, you know, he's doing all sorts of shit. The first guy is a defensive back named Charles Williams. He finishes getting his haircut and then everett mckiver jumps into the seat it was mckier or mckiver it's spelled mckiver but i think it said mckier if i can't i remember correctly uh but everett is his name he jumps into the chair because he was waiting on line michael irvin pops up next to him and screams seniority wants him out of the chair now michael irvin as we remember doesn't him and screams, seniority. Wants him out of the chair.

Now, Michael Ervin, as we remember, doesn't believe in seniority when it comes to lines, if we remember correctly. Remember that? You either got to marry me if you're in this line or I beat your ass. That's your choices. That's the choice. So he said seniority, as Everett McIver didn't't budge because he just got signed as a free agent. He'd been in the league for five years and just got some money from the Cowboys. And he's like, I'm no rookie.

Fuck you. I'll sit in the chair all I want. So he didn't say shit, though. He just sat there. Michael Irvin screamed seniority, seniority, seniority was screaming in his ear and then called him a punk and said, get the fuck out of my chair. So now there's a problem. So McIver, who had been getting his hair hair cut he was in the middle of a haircut wasn't like he's got a haircut right now he's got fucking strips taken out of his head he said man i'm almost done just give me another few minutes

so irvin gets pissed off at that how dare you talk to me like that? Tell me you'll be another few minutes. So Irvin says, quote, Vinny, get this motherfucker out of the chair. Tell his sorry ass to wait his fucking turn. Either I get cut right now or nobody does. That's what he says. He went into that territory. Oh, boy. This is some crazy prima donna shit here. This is crazy.

Eric Williams was standing nearby, another another lineman another giant guy he said to him to everett quote yo e you know don't you get out of that chair you're no fucking rookie he can't tell you what to do so now he's got the offensive lineman tell him don't fucking know you don't have to do that shit you're fucking just as equal a guy as he is you know whatever yeah yeah you're allowed to have beef with him if he wants to have beef over this basically nobody's got his back on it so um what ends up happening is the barber backs away because he just doesn't know what to do and doesn't want to be in the middle of it trying to break out right now yeah he's he's like albert anastasia's barber when the fucking persicos were coming in the case like i guess i'm walking this way you guys everybody's got guns shoot him i guess i

don't know the barber and barbers have it the worst when it comes to that shit people they just have to i don't know i'm not a part of this this has nothing to do with me i'll put the towel on his face leave me alone yeah the shit they hear people just talk in front of barbers because they're like they're not going to say shit my grandfather was a barber in here for or new york for years i can't imagine the shit he's heard over the years. Imagine the guinea to guinea conversations that people have had in those chairs.

Some crime and shit. Yeah. So he backed away. Everett stood up and shoved Michael Irvin in the chest. So Michael Irvin shoved him back. So Everett shoved him again. So that's, we got a shoving match. It's at this point where

michael ervin um jesus christ everett shoves back even harder and grabbed ervin and tosses him toward a wall he's basically get the fuck away from me we're not doing this shit so uh kevin smith who's a cornerback he says quote i'm the littlest guy in the in the room so i just yell leon do something because leon lets the biggest guy in the room so i just yell leon do something because leon lets the biggest guy in the room yeah you just gotta walk into the middle of it they can't get around you you know so let um tries to separate them and it didn't happen uh they were still getting at each other kevin smith said the whole scene was crazy i couldn't believe what i was seeing i mean man we were on the same team finally, Everett cocks his fist back and pops Michael Irvin, drills him right in the mouth.

Okay. He says, quote, I just lost it. I mean, I lost my head. I lost it. So Michael Irvin loses it a little bit more and grabs a pair of the barber scissors. No. And hacks at and hacks at MacIver and slashes his neck. Jesus Christ!

Yeah. Just basically left a hunk out of the tip of the scissors because he didn't have them open. He just used them like a like a shank in the neck. Attempted murder! Yes, it is. That's the thing. It went in just above his collarbone, inches from the

carotid artery. So could have killed him. So he screamed. Kevin Smith said blood immediately shoots all over the room and we're all thinking the same thing. Oh, shit. This is the thing. So there was silence. Everyone was like, what the fuck just happened?

This is crazy. So there's blood. Everything happens like that. So the fight's over anyway yeah but uh yeah jerry jones immediately brokers a six-figure settlement between ervin and mciver in exchange for ever and ever it's silence and to prevent him from pursuing criminal charges against michael ervin so basically it comes out as misunderstanding no big deal all taken care of six figures hundred or like high six i who the fuck knows my point is i don't know that i'm i don't know that i'm settling uh uh scissors to my throat for a low six figures that's not enough especially if jerry jones is involved right motherfucker, you have the most to lose here.

Right. So you're going to pay up at this point if you let this fucking asshole run around in the locker room. It's got to be 650, right? Has to be something like that. That's what I was thinking, too. Over half. Over half. Call it over half tax-free.

Yeah, here you go. So 1998, they go 10-6 under Chan Gailey, but then they lose the wild card game to the Jake Plummer-led Cardinals, which is an embarrassment. It's 20-7. And so Michael Irvin that year had 74 catches, 1,057 yards, one touchdown only, which is strange. All those catches, one touchdown. Odd. 1999, Cowboys go 8-8 that year. Make the playoffs at 8-8 and lose to the Vikings in the wildcard round.

But that doesn't matter because Michael doesn't get that far. During the fifth game of the season, he's tackled by Eagles defensive back Tim Houck. And I don't know if you remember this, he's motionless on the field. Looks like he's dead, basically, laying there on his face, motionless, and the crowd cheers. The Philly crowd cheered a spinal injury. Wow. Because that's how much they hate Michael Irvin.

And that's how much Philadelphia hates any rival. Yep. And it's funny, because if you read articles about it now, they say the crowd allegedly cheers. And it's like, I watched the game. They cheered. The announcers were like, wow, that's classless. The crowd cheering a potentially dangerous spinal injury. They were talking about it. It was obvious.

Take it easy, Al Michaels. You're lucky the people in the front row didn't try to rape him. Yeah, that's the other thing. I got him. I'm going to rape him. Where's Andrew? Andrew, lead the way. Put that D battery right up his ass. Where's his wife? Andrew's screaming from the back. He's carted off

the field on a stretcher and never plays again. That's it. That was it. He was like Sterling Sharp. That one injury How ended him? Never came back. It was a non-life-threatening cervical spinal cord injury, and it was diagnosed as a narrow spinal column. It's cervical spinal stenosis, which forced him into early retirement. It's the top of the spine between the neck and the shoulders, babe.

That's bad. Not good. Not good. Reportedly, in this article, I had to copy and paste it because it said, many of the Eagles fans in the crowd reportedly cheered. Not good. Reportedly, in this article I had to copy and paste it because it said, many of the Eagles fans in the crowd reportedly cheered. Not reportedly. Watch the footage. They cheered.

So once it became apparent that he was injured, and again when a stretcher was delivered onto the field, they cheered each time. So there's that. Can you imagine being that hated? You can't move your legs and people are happy about it yeah that's a weird feeling that's a crazy feeling thousands of people are thrilled you're lying motionless like you're dead fucking ridiculous so um yeah he finishes his career with 159 games played. He had 750 receptions, 11,904 yards, 65 touchdowns, and averaged 15.9 yards a catch. Wow.

Hell of a goddamn career. 2000, he's inducted into the University of Miami Sports Hall of Fame. Of course. Obviously. July of 2000, even better for Michaelael his probation ends for the cocaine charge in look at you mike he outlived it he outlived it uh barely august 10th 2000 like he was celebrating his probation ending i think sure officers from a multi-level drug task force went to an apartment to arrest a woman for heroin trafficking as part of a regional sweep.

This is the FBI saying this. The woman named in the warrant had not been located and Irvin was not a target of the probe. But they said, quote, this is total happenstance. We had no prior knowledge he was going to be in there. He's just hanging out with a heroin trafficker. That's all. So the woman here was she wasn't home, but another woman was in the apartment, a 21 year old woman named Nellie Adam, who was described as, quote, a friend of Irvin's. She was taken into custody as well. Yeah. Irvin told reporters, quote, I really don't know what went on.

I was visiting someone and the police came looking for somebody else and I was at the house. I was visiting someone and the police came looking for somebody else and I was at the house. Didn't know. He said they tore up the house and they found, I guess, what you would call a roach, a half a joint. And that's why I got arrested. Right. Irvin said police found nothing on me. They impounded my car.

They searched my car. They found nothing in my car. That's all I got to say. So that's what he said here. Me, a 30-something-year-old man. I'm just visiting my 21-year-old friend. We're just friends. I visit 21-year-old. We just visit.

We play like gin rummy for a little while, and then I go home. You know how it is. It's visiting. Who lives with a heroin trafficker, by the way. You know, roommate of heroin traffickers here. So he says that he would reserve comment until he knew more details jerry jones says saying that there was a falsely accused sexual assault the year before so he doesn't want this to happen again that was that whole incident with nate newton i didn't want to recap it that was uh that happened michael

irvin was involved in that um so he uh uh he said i would remind us all that michael's been a victim of false allegations before i know this i'm going to be very sensitive very careful how i come to any conclusions that's jerry jones here so um jesus christ they wouldn't answer the door when the police came to the door first of all that's the other thing they wouldn't answer the door uh police task force agents arrived with the search warrant they entered the apartment forcibly because they had a search warrant and ervin and the woman were placed under arrest why wouldn't they open the door right i'm innocently visiting with my friend yeah if a police task force you open the fuck you don't go shh you guys are you're interrupting mahjong you're we're come on we're almost done uh michael says quote i've

had problems but not with the law you only get into trouble with them if you aren't good at what you're doing if you don't get caught they can't call you a criminal I wasn't the kind to go around shooting people or anything but I have my problems early on which is the best time to have them I don't know what might have happened I think a lot about that now what it happened

it's all happening that's what I don't know what would happen if I kept doing drugs like then he says also this is That's what I don't know what would happen if I kept doing drugs. Then he says also this is that's what he said at the time. But then later on, he admits that when he quit football, he just partied more. Just more. He says, quote, Where I got lost in the partying is when I retired. When I retired, I go through February and I'm getting high and having a great time.

And then March comes around and I'm still having a good time. And then April comes around and I said, okay, enough of this. I got to get focused on what I'm going to do next. I'm no longer playing football. And all the years prior to that, I was able to just stop, but now I could not stop. I had to get some counseling on it and find out what it was. I was switching addictions from, uh, from playing football.

So a guy like that, that puts that much into football, he needs definitely needs something else to put his energy into. Yeah. from playing football. So a guy like that that puts that much into football, he definitely needs something else to put his energy into. What he does find in 2001 is religion. Oh, boy. This is kind of his third religious thing. A little bit when he was a kid. In 1997, he said he found Jesus in Deion Sanders' bathroom.

That's a fact. So he's got a mystical toilet or some shit. I don't know what happened in there, but I guess, you know, that's what happens when you visit Deion Sanders bathroom. It's so nice. You find Jesus in there, but I guess it wore off a little bit.

So he recommits himself in 2001, 2002. He's hired by Fox sports as an analyst. Yeah. 2005. He's in the longest yard movie with Adam sandler yeah so he actually you know that's pretty mainstream november 25th 2005 he is arrested again oh this is this is an interesting one here he's driving with his wife this is the first time we've ever heard his wife's with him doing anything so shocking right off the never spends time with her no we're like're like, he's with us.

I had to read it twice when I found it. I was like, he's with his wife, really? He's not with a stripper from this strip club? Claiming to be his wife? Yeah, hi, I'm his wife. He was pulled over for going 78 in a 60. So regular pullover. He's arrested for an outstanding warrant

on an unpaid speeding ticket, but also is cited for misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia after they search his car and they find a Versace sunglasses case. He's the Versace guy. Yep. And, uh, they find a pipe and plastic bags with like little bits of weed in them basically like spent baggies basically there. Uh, he said the items, he said that they're not mine. I found these on my friend after patting him down when he arrived at my house. Don't say that.

That's his excuse. Don't say you're aware of them. Just act like you didn't know. They're not yours, man. Jesus, Mike. Oh,

it gets worse. He said that the pipe belonged to a longtime friend it came out in the press that it was his brother and he said it's not my brother it's somebody else yeah he said that uh that uh the use of the word brother was used taken literally when he meant it like a friend and he said that uh quote it's my brothers he left it in there that's what the officers quoted him as saying in the police report like it's not mine it's my brother's black guys talk we call each other brother yeah he said to the associated press that he called his friend a brother because they're so close right but if you say my brother left that in here you're not talking about your friend no

generally and when you've got 17 siblings he feels like that's broad enough to compass anybody really at that point he says uh when i said that belongs to a brother of mine i guess he thought maybe uh he put uh he put it in i don't know i certainly don't want any problems with the police he also said i'm going to do whatever i need to do to clear my name so um yeah he says that a friend of his has been dealing with substance abuse problems for, quote, quite a while. He says Michael Irvin. It's this guy. His name is Michael Irvin Jr. No shit.

That's a real person. His name is Willie Small Willie. He's little Willie. That's the guy. He says that his friend came over for Thanksgiving. He gave him a hug and felt the pipe on him when he gave him the hug. He took it from him, being like, man, I'm going to help you. And he said that he put it in his car.

Listen to this. This is the reason why it was in his car. Because it was a safer place to put it than inside his home or the trash. What's safer than the trash? Nothing. That's really the safest place you could put it is really in the trash. What's safer than the trash? Nothing. That's really the safest place you could put it is really in the trash. You put it in some week old spaghetti you got out of the fridge and put it in a garbage bag and toss it in there. It's gone.

Gone. He's not digging through that. No, he's going to put it in his Versace sunglasses case and his Mercedes. That's the place you put it if you want to really get rid of something so yeah uh espn suspended him for sunday and monday night countdown shows for two days and then he came back the next week with no mention of anything because who fucking cares um he gets in a little trouble in 2006 here uh he's on the he's on the dan patrick show and he joked that Tony Romo's athletic ability, because he said he's a great athlete, because he's a really good athlete.

He said that it may have been due to African-American heritage, is the way he put it. And he jokingly remarked that Tony's maternal relatives might have been involved with quote slave brothers the way he put it maybe his grandma what the fuck he said but he later apologized and explained this is how i joke around with romo when we're playing basketball there's a difference between me and the player and me and the broadcaster that's the truth you among friends people say that sort of shit all the time especially interracial friends usually if they're really good friends they'll joke around about that shit sometimes that's the way that works but then in public you can't act like that that's the difference so is tony robo not a hundred percent white guy who the fuck cares who knows anyway either way

michael irvin's pretty fucking black i think he can say that if he wants to like i'm sorry like if one guy can say slave brothers it's michael irvin i think he's the guy you know he's saying something out of line it's just no it's a weird fucking thing to say very weird thing to say but it's some shit like if he saw tony romo dunk tony romo dunk he'd be like that's because your mama was fucking them slave brothers you know what I mean like say some shit like that to talk shit and then they laugh and whatever but it sounds much harsher in a studio with Dan Patrick with foam on the walls and a microphone and a producer staring at you like a grouper through the glass going did he just fucking say that sounds worse so i mean jesus christ i kind of feel bad for him

on that one because that was just him talking some shit and bullshitting i really feel bad for sandy the most out of everybody because she's well maybe out of outside of rochelle smith and that poor woman who had his kid in 1990 yeah they've been fucked pretty good a lot of these women have i'm even the cowboys you got to kind of feel bad for but i feel bad for all these people jimmy but not nearly as bad as i feel for michael irvin chief executive officer at palms of pasadena hotel or hospital not hotel this has to be so deep i got to pick some good ones yeah michael irvin sales team lead at azura marketing at the franc Marketing. He went to the Franciscan University of Steubenville. That just sounded very much not like Michael Irvin. Michael Irvin, partner, Legacy One Financial Advisors.

You do not want Michael Irvin advising your finances, I don't think, based on what we've just discussed. Michael Irvin, PhD candidate at Vanderbilt University. My current work focuses on a novel machine learning method to better integrate medical data into. Oh, the fuck knows. This is smart person. Streamline medical data. And finally, Michael Irvin purchases systems admin in Dallas County. Oh, my. Experienced system administrator with a demonstrated history of working in the government administration, blah, blah, blah.

Fucking guy lives in Dallas, this poor bastard. He just can't get around it. 2007, he claims to be a victim of blackmail. Michael does. He says that he's accused of assaulting a disabled contractor. What? That's horrible. I hope he didn't do that.

He did what? Oh, my God. Okay. I don't know why, but you know what the guy's name is? Who he allegedly assaulted? Sean Vandergrift. He's got the word grift right in his name. You can't.

His name is Vandergrift. That sounds like a bad screenplay someone named the car he's vandergrift and he's grifting we should change the the word blackmail to just vandergrift because it sounds like yeah it sounds like i tried to vandergrift him and i don't appreciate it he uh he filed a lawsuit against irvin claiming irvin yelled at and grabbed him during a dispute in december 2006 irvin's lawyer claimed vandergrift originally asked for 175 000 dollars in damages Irvin claiming Irvin yelled at and grabbed him during a dispute in December 2006. Irvin's lawyer claimed Vandergrift originally asked for one hundred and seventy five thousand dollars in damages, then demanded as little as fifty five thousand when challenged. Yeah.

He says that this happens all the time. Vandergrift later dropped his complaint. So he's probably Vandergrift. Yeah. July 4th, 2007. Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino inllywood better than the residence in i guess in florida though right it's in oh yeah of course hollywood florida what are we talking about yeah it's not a florida guy um the incident was reported to seminal tribal police on july 20th 2007 uh this woman as we'll talk about signs a waiver of prosecution at that point and uh basically she accuses him of sexual assault on the 4th of july 2007 oh god a month later august

4 2007 he's inducted into the pro football hall of fame a month prior he's accused of sexual assault and then he's up on the podium being like this is great i was a great player wasn't i wasn't i great jesus christ uh october 14 2007 he also accepts his uh hall of fame ring at at texas stadium and in his speech he proposed to roger goodell that all drafted rookies have a tour of the pro football hall of Fame to better understand their football history. Also, see my face. This is the guy who said, quote, I don't care what you don't tell me what you old guys did. Right.

I think the young guys need to know what the old guys did now. That's what I've learned. Exactly. And seniority counts a lot in lines. So he's very he's not very steady on any of his beliefs. Yeah. It's a smidge of a hypocrite is all a little bit a little bit uh 2009 he appears on the tv show burn notice for an episode uh september 2009 he appears on season nine of dancing with the stars that's right

oh god boy with uh ashley hamilton macy gray kathy ireland tom delay who the fuck wants to with Ashley Hamilton, Macy Gray, Kathy Ireland, Tom DeLay. Who the fuck wants to see that crooked twat dance? Who is Tom DeLay? He used to be the, I think he was Speaker of the House. He was a Republican congressman. Oh, yes. He was heavily involved in a lot of fucking scandal, and Enron was tied up with him and all this type of shit,

and he had to, I believe, resign in disgrace. He did. So let's put him on TV. Debbie Mazar, who is Henry Hill's girlfriend in Goodfellas, who snorts all the coke. Yeah. Chuck, I believe, right? Isn't that Debbie?

Chuck Liddell, UFC fighter. Right. Natalie Coughlin, an Olympic swimmer. Melissa Joan Hart, who is the teenage witch. Yep. Louis Vito, a snowboarder. Michael Irvin, Mark Decoxx us who the fuck is that all right iron chef america okay uh aaron carter joanna krupa kelly osborne and donny osmond who wins the whole thing donny osmond won the whole thing donny osmond can Can you imagine? Oh, God. That's crazy. So 2011, there's a settlement in a civil lawsuit from 2007 sexual assault here.

Irvin had filed a $100 million defamation countersuit, and that's dropped as part of the settlement as well. His lawyer said, quote, the parties finally came to their senses. The settlement was reached just last night so he did something if he paid for it yeah uh he appears in jack and jill with adam sandler as michael irvin which is funny uh 2011 he's involved in a carjacking attempted as he puts it somebody tried to jack him well he said that he he was recognized by would-be carjackers and then they decided not to jack him he said he was stopped at a red light and uh potential robbers pulled up beside him flashed a gun and he said they put it away when the one guy said hey hey it's mike irvin hey what's

up mike irvin mike irvin man we're big cowboy fans and they drove away he said that he's that irvin continued to talk with the man for a few minutes and then they sped away so he hung out with potential carjackers is what he said and then they went and hurt somebody else exactly what i mean and then the police had to drop the investigation because he wouldn't help them at all. So, yeah, these are people driving around looking to carjack people. Maybe that's bad. Yeah. August 2011, he invests in the elite football league of India, one of the primary investors.

Other backers include Mike Ditka, Ron Jaworski, the analyst and former Eagles quarterback, NFL linebacker Brandon Chillar, and also Mark Wahl walberg so marky mark is involved in this as well i hate that disney made him think he's a football player isn't that crazy it was founded with eight franchises now it has 23 uh 20 in india two in sri lanka and one in Pakistan. What? Yeah. Apparently, the expansion includes basically they aim to expand to 52 teams by 2022. That's too many teams for a league. It seems like it, yeah. How would you keep track of that? The playoffs is like nine weeks long.

Not only that, but I mean, I'm a fan of this team. I've never heard of them before oh yeah because they're like you wouldn't even know all the teams because there's 50 teams that's wild uh 2015 he appears on the show criminal minds as michael irvin which is probably the most appropriate thing that's happened so far um he found the role for him, finally. Him. He finally found it. The roll of his dreams. Himself. March 29, 2017, there is allegations of sexual battery at the W Hotel. At least he's been stepping up his hotel game.

Yeah, hotel's getting better. He went from the residence inn to the Hard Rock and Seminole, whatever, and now he's at the W. You know what's happening? He's getting more points on hotel tonight and just getting the nicer hotel because he's getting that 30 percent credit card miles and things. And, you know, he's getting hooked up here. Apparently, a week later, it was reported to Fort Lauderdale police on March 22nd. A week later, police said that Irvin was someone being investigated in the case. And they said it was a 27 year old Florida woman filed a police report saying she feared Irvin had drugged and raped her

after she went with him from a bar to his hotel room in the early hours of March 21st. He denied the allegations, saying he was only in his hotel room with the woman for 15 minutes before leaving to catch a flight and that another man was present while she was there. This is the detective says quote he has been named as someone who's being investigated in the case but hasn't been charged with any offense and hasn't been arrested now his lawyer said that he was in fort lauderdale visiting his nieces and nephew at a track meet yeah well not when he was at the hotel but for her with her probably but but he's also visiting his 90-year-old aunt. So they're really piling it on. Did we mention he stopped at church on the way to the hotel?

He says... He signed up for Sunday school teaching, too. He taught a communion class and then he came here. This is what he was busy with all weekend. He said he's blindsided by this. It's totally false. It's bullshit. Nothing happened.

He said she was very drunk and nothing happened and there was no assault. He defended himself and he said, quote, I have never ever in that decade. We've never had any kind of dating relationship and we've never had any kind of sexual relationship or sexual relations in any way. We never ever in that decade, he said. Right. What is that? So years before, this is a person who used to fuck. He says,

she's like a little niece. She's been around me. She's been around my family, been out to eat with us. I considered her a friend. That's what he says. He said that some friends were at the ocean Manor beach resort. And after midnight,

the party moved to the rock bar and both venues are on the beach. He said he offered his W hotel room to friends to sleep because he was going to the airport for an early morning flight. He said a male friend was with him and the woman in the hotel room, and that the male friend left. He said that he was only there for a short while,

and he also says about that he wants the surveillance footage from the lobby. He says, we're acquiring the tapes. We know we've asked the W to preserve the tapes. They say they have the tapes, and it will show that she walked out of the room with me, and I tried to get her to go back in the room to go to sleep and sleep it off. There was nobody left in the hotel room drugged, passed out, and taken advantage of. She, on the other hand, got Gloria Allred to represent her, and she says, quote, all

she wants is justice. She's provided evidence to law enforcement in support of her allegations we look forward to supporting her and vindicating her rights nothing really has come out of that so who the fuck knows uh michael jr started he i guess went to miami to play tight end at miami and he's like a six foot three 240 pound tight end and then he ended up transferring i believe to, to Florida Atlantic after that. I don't think, like, right away. He never played at Miami.

So I don't know if it was too much to be Michael Irvin Jr. there or what. But who knows? Can't get enough of Michael Irvin? Oh, I've had enough. Well, you can send your kid to the Playmakers Academy, Jimmy. Don't you want your kid to model himself after michael irvin yeah on the field sure uh it says on the website in big letters quote helping young men to become men okay or here you go you want we can rent michael irvin at

athletespeakers.com he He travels from Dallas, Texas. You know what his fee range is, Jimmy? $65,000. $30,000 to $50,000. Yeah. Of course it is. That's what he wants. What an asshole. Holy shit.

That's what a Hall of Famer costs, though. Autograph signings, corporate appearance, especially a cowboy. Those rich Texans will do fucking anything. Absolutely. If they can write it off for their corporate bullshit, where jeans and boots and a dress shirt, they'll do it. We'll order barbecue and have Michael Irvin give us a talk about women and Coke corporate appearances,

endorsements, meet and greet speaking engagements. So that is Michael Irvin, everybody. And, uh, quite, quite interesting.

And, uh, and honestly, just a wild ass story. Obviously he's out of his fucking mind. Truly. Now that we have Michael Irvin out of the way, it's time for something truly special, everybody. I've been sweating my balls off in this monkey suit.

Jesus. I was going to say, straighten your tie back out. You've been fucking with it the whole time. Straighten it out because it's time for the 2021 Scummy Awards! Yes! The pageantry, Jim. Doesn't that music so good? There should be like an eagle flying across the room when we play that music. It's a big deal. A couple of very small adults waving a flag with us oh my god sitting on the

back of it yeah just yeah fucking so that's what i'm talking about the scummy awards it's back again here we go a couple of new categories this year as well we have some new stuff but uh let's start out with a couple of these are are like the honoraries. These are like career achievement awards, things like that. There's no competition for them. We're just giving two of these awards out. There's a tie for the first one, actually. This is the But Not Nearly As Bad As award. This is the award for the most confused person because it's a very specific name and someone unlikely unlikely as it is shares

it with them yeah uh the first one here is bernard below yeah spelled exactly the same who is the owner at pool experts in kitchener canada that poor guy and finally also bernard below again the tie for senior director at lob law in montreal canada so those old those poor bastards too and they're not even what was it dutch no they're in canada so next up is the golden gilretha award hell yes this is the award for the most supportive woman in the face of all logic and reason and everything else. They'll stand by their man, either their son, their husband, their boyfriend, somebody. Next year, Sandy Irvin's up for it, right?

Oh, God, yes. Are you kidding me? Sandy Irvin, she's a frontrunner right now for that title. Actually, no, because Michael Irvin falls into this year's. Does he? He's this year. As you see, he's going to be nominated year's. Does he? He's this year. As you see, he's going to be nominated for something. So he's up for this year.

He couldn't beat, though, Stacey Flounders. He couldn't top Stacey Flounders. Do you remember her? No. She is Adam Johnson's girlfriend. Yes. Adam Johnson, the kid-diddling or teen-diddling soccer player from England there, who stayed with him through cheating, public scandal, and

then also on top of that an illegal relationship with a teenage girl left him briefly but then bowed back to the altar of Gilretha and took him back anyway. If you don't remember he is the one that is where she was present when the cops

came in the house to get him. And he said, quote, is this about the girl in the shirt? She stayed with him. And then after all of that, he's photographed out in a nightclub wearing a shirt that says fresh kids. Partying. Stacey Flounders, Golden Gilretha Award recipient. Congratulations, Stacey. Very good. We're all very impressed. Thank you. Everyone's giving a Congratulations, Stacey. Very good.

We're all very impressed. Thank you. Everyone's giving a big hand. Yeah. Very good here. I can't wait to loosen this tie up. This is ridiculous. Next up is the Skip Bayless Award

for the biggest outright liar there is. Also, a little bit of a douche you have to be to win the Skip Bayless Award. Absolute phony in this category. Phony, liar, everything else. There's two from the same sport in here, actually. First up, James Monroe. Remember him from the beginning of the year?

He is a race car driving fraudster who set up bogus companies to borrow money to buy a McLaren race car and even faked the near death of his son right to the point where people were sending him flowers yeah to get out of a debt payment that he didn't have because he was making everything up big liar second up scott tucker yeah last the last episode we had he is the payday loan scammer and part target of andrew theron's rage piece of garbage. He scammed 4.5 million people out of billions of dollars. So he's got to be up for the biggest liar. And then finally, Ralph Bartel, a.k.a. Raphael Torrey, who lied about everything. He's a fake Navy SEAL, fake MMA fighter, claims black belts and everything else.

But in the end, he's just an asshole murderer. Who buys trophies who buys trophies and puts them in a bag and he's like i did a deep forest kumite so let's see here this was a close one because ralph faked his whole life but the scope of his damage was really limited yeah it didn't what he said didn't matter outside of the murder those lies really didn't matter and james monroe was a liar yes right uh skip't matter outside of the murder. Those lies really didn't matter. And James Monroe was a liar, yes. Skip would be proud of the frosty-haired, over-the-hill menagerie of douche that he set forth. And the award goes to... He's in the shadow of our winner, Scott Tucker, everybody.

The biggest liar. Scammed 4.5 million people. Lied to basically the population of Houston, Texas. The entire population, more than the entire country of Panama. 200,000 more people in the country of Panama, almost the entire population of Ireland. That's how many people he scammed.

And just about the entirety of New Zealand and their whole population. Definitely the biggest liar skip bayless would take his frosty douche hat off to you if he was wearing one not showing off his plugs and frost so there's that uh next up most apt nickname yeah this is a fun one uh nickname that goes best with what they're doing, obviously. First up this year, and this was one of the first ones of this year, actually, Anthony Rumble Johnson. Yeah. He's a fighter, and he rumbled all over women in his life with his fists.

So, Rumble Johnson. Pistola Pete Pedro Ramos. Yes. He went by Pistola Pete. Oh, the man dressed like a cowboy. He carried pistols and wore a cowboy outfit. Is there any other nickname that would do it? A Spanish guy who dressed like that?

Pistola Pete. And finally, War Machine. Yeah. So there's those three. It's hard to decide. Right? It's a tough one. We went to the panel with this one, our esteemed panel of myself and Frankie and Benny, and we're all very stoned at two in the morning.

I fed Frankie and Benny extra treats to keep them up to help me with this because, you know, they wanted to sleep. And they had a tough one with this one. Rumble did what his nickname implies. So that's good. And then you put their mug shots on the ground and had them shit on the winner, correct? Yeah, they do. Then they put their paw on it and mush it around. That's how it works.

And Pistola Pete is exactly what his name presents him to be. But I think it has to go to War Machine. He waged war on that porn star's face. That's awful. If you were to build an actual War Machine, you would want it to give

no quarter, even to defenseless women locked in a fucking bathroom. That's it. I guess if you were to build an actual war machine you would want it to give no quarter even to defenseless women locked in a fucking bathroom so i guess if you wanted to have a war machine that's what it would be new award time new award so congratulations war machine well done that he can put that up on his little shelf in his jail cell your one shelf remember war machines prison diaries those were amazing that. That's a Patreon bonus. If you don't subscribe to Patreon, you missed that. But we made fun of his prison diaries like crazy, and it was beautiful. So here's a new award.

This is the least apt nickname. Oh. Because some of the people have nicknames that are shit for themselves. Yeah. They're the worst. So let's find out this one here. First up, Nate Grave Driggers. Yeah. They're the worst. So let's find out this one here. First up, Nate Grave Driggers. Okay.

Neither putting people in nor Doug Graves. Right. So has nothing to do with Graves other than the pun of Driggers on his name. So it's kind of a shit nickname. Bruce Comeback Kid Kimball. Yeah. If you remember him, he's the Olympic diver who hit a kid or hit somebody and killed him with his car while he was drunk, went to prison, then came back and dove more.

Technically, he did come back. But by then he wasn't a kid. And although I think that's who he killed in his car, though, a kid. So you never know. Or he was just screaming, come back, kid. Come back. Come back. Oh, shit.

He's not breathing. Come back to life. Next up, Steve Franchise Francis. Yeah. back oh shit he's not breathing come back to life next up steve franchise francis yeah um he bounced from team to team becoming the poster child for the non-franchise player not at all a franchise player and finally there's a fourth one for this one ralph blackie schwamm he's not black right at all so those are the four least apt nicknames. I mean, it's a close one. Like we said, grave diggers didn't dig or put anyone in a grave.

He did commit armed robberies, which could have resulted in said grave digging. Yeah. If he slips. Kimball did technically come back. And your definition of a kid kind of could be all relative. You could call him a kid compared to someone who's 100, I suppose. So that's there. Blackie wasn't black, but that doesn't have to mean color. Maybe he wrote dark themed poetry.

Open that goddamn envelope. We can't know, Jimmy. Winner, Steve Francis. Yeah. It's Steve Francis. He was never for a moment a franchise player. Not for a single solitary moment. That is my favorite award and franchise.

The least apt nickname. Best category ever. Especially because of the one. That's so good. Oh, man. Poor Steve. Poor Steve. Well, it's his fault.

Yeah, he did it to himself. Next one is a very big this is prestigious there's a lot of money people try to bribe for this yeah i mean frankie and benny have gotten toys in the mail or it's the bribery attempts are over the top on this one the top silver-haired middle-aged white man yes obviously we've got some deep pockets competing for this one so they're taking out ads and variety. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous, the whole thing. So first up for this one, and a lot of these are repetitive.

They keep coming back. First up, and he's in it every year, Dana White, everybody, number one, always. He wants it. For repeatedly saying that the UFC doesn't put up with shit and then hiring assholes. Yeah. He's a perennial contender, really. I mean, see War Machine above. He's an asshole.

Right. Second, Vince McMahon. Yes. Of course. Ah, take your shirt off. Show me. Put these overalls on. Let's see what you're doing there.

Vince for the entire Marty Jannetty debacle, number one. Sure. And also not to mention Kurt Angle. Right. So both of those, he gets that and finally jerry jones for being jerry jones forever perpetual jones did you hear his comments all through this right michael irvin could be standing over a corpse with a fucking machete in his hand dripping with blood and he'd go now i'm not going to jump to any conclusions i'm really not he's been accused of improprieties before it could happen wrong um but let's see who's the

winner here everybody like i said they've been jockeying for it but for the second year in a row dana white everybody he's uh he's just the king of this category he's really good at it he's really good because it continues to happen so congratulations on your scummy dana you can add it with your other ones i believe he has a couple of scummies at this point uh oh here's a good one this is my new favorite category here most brazen excuse this is fun yeah okay most brazen excuse uh first up charles barkley yeah charles barkley claimed he was just driving drunk because these this girl that he's on his way to see quote gives the best blow jobs in the world please pardon my drunkenness sir i'm just trying to get to the best blow job on earth listen i'll be off the road in a minute getting the best blowjob ever so if you

could just let me be that's a great excuse i guess you could follow me if you'd like please next up oscar pistorius yeah everybody i thought a murderer was taking a middle of the night shit not my girlfriend that's a that's an excuse right there i thought it was a murderer not my girlfriend now i'm a murderer next up adam johnson yeah who actually said these words quote she said she was 16 she said she was 16 who am i to believe that that that was a line that dennis duffy on 30 rock used like almost exactly but he meant it for real this guy dennis duffy it was a total joke because it's like oh that's fucking hysterical she looks 16 but i swear to god she she said she was 16 but i swear she looked 21 is the funniest thing I've ever heard.

And finally, Exum Spate, the murderer and boxer, his excuse was, quote, DNA isn't even real. That was his excuse for a murder charge. It's all bullshit, man. Wow, that's wild. That's impressive, right? an impressive amount of brazenness in that one this this is really a toss-up because i mean barkley's excuse is by far the funniest excuse absolutely and my favorite but if we're talking about brazenness which is the title of the category nothing is more brazen with than uh than uh she said she was 16 but looked at least 21

adam johnson you win my friend congratulations you are a disgusting man adam man especially after the first thing he said to the cops when they came for him was quote is this about the girl in the shirt again so fuck me here's a fun one. Next one up here. Longest fall from grace. Yes. This is a good one. Who was at the, cause some of the guys are like, they come in,

they're never really that respected. They're, you know, they're not like respected figures in society that we're surprised about. It's just some guy. Right. Whereas this are people that you're actually surprised that have take, taken a,

a lofty position in society and thrown it in the garbage. So let's find out. Number one, Oscar Pistorius, without a doubt. Hero to murderer fucking O.J. style. Not just hero. Should never have been a hero, yet against all odds. Yep. And still blew that. International inspirational figure.

Right. Fucked. Murder O.J. style.. International inspirational figure. Right. Fucked. Murder OJ style. Albert Hainsworth. Yeah. As well. And hear me out on this. You might not think of him as that.

But when the Redskins signed him and shit, he was considered like the best defensive lineman in the game at that point. Yeah. He was so good that he was worth getting a hundred million dollar contract for. For a lineman. That's crazy. For a lineman. good that he was worth getting a hundred million dollar contract for for alignment that's for alignment and then three months later he's failing a conditioning test that my fucking grandmother could pass that's a fall from grace right there like that's bad third up nicole bobeck i mean yeah all american pixie doll figure skating darling right off of a fucking Wheaties box to meth distribution, home invasion, and general white trashery.

People forget it's between her, Kerrigan, and Harding. It's those three. Those are the three. People only remember the other two because one assaulted the other. But Bobeck was there. She was there going, oh, shit, I should have done that. Hey, that was a good idea. Everyone's going to remember them and not me now.

Hey, is that math? Hold on a second. Never mind. Next up, Joe Gilliam, who went from being beloved, Pittsburgh loved him, one of the first black quarterbacks to start in the NFL, respected and everything else, hero, to living in his car and smoking crack on the street and dying after smoking crack and just being a mess. This is a tough one. I have to break it down between the Olympians, I think, because people expect them to be

better than professional athletes in terms of character for some reason. I don't know why, but like NFL players, people expect them to fuck up. They expect whatever. But Olympians are like, not him. Yeah. Not her. It's a different kind of athletic prowess with those people. They have morals.

It's a moral thing. So they expect Nicole Bobeck. You know, there's no bigger darlings in the country than a successful pretty Olympian. And she fucking blew it hard and became the symbol of trash. But then Tanya Harding overtook it so it's hard so the winner here has to be Oscar Pistorius I mean you can't go from inspirational international hero and figure and people would literally take their kids and go look at him that's who you want to be like right you want to have that kind of dedication and drive motivation go be a hero and a champion

he has no legs you could do it he's got no fucking legs man uh so we're giving it to oscar pastores here okay next up here is the cracked egg award one of my favorites yeah for the most brain damage possible here now first of all up first marty genetti yeah everybody because i am mess his interviews are barely understandable it took that sean oliver guy from kayfabe commentaries days to stitch an interview together in a coherent matter and that just made marty mad at him and he got pissed off and yelled at him for it so he's crazy uh michael dynamite dokes oh as well the boxer remember him he's a smart guy who went increasingly fucking bonjour with the more punches he took over and over again yeah he would eat huge plates of pasta before heavyweight

boxing matches that's right you know linguine and clam sauce is the present that's as the present as linguine and clams not to mention all the punches in the head and he admitted to doing cocaine consistently since middle school that brain damage adds up let's just say that yeah uh next up mark gastineau uh who eventually doesn't even know how to tie his shoes he's a fucking mess at this point winner of this one though in a surprise upset like his whole life marty genetti comes through with the win he rolled him up man he put he put mark gastineau in a small package and got the one two three that's what happened he sunset flipped him and it's over was it the facebook updates that put him over because he keeps the facebook updates that's exactly i was just gonna say the drugs the bumps to the head

have left him in a state of shit and then he's making it worse by saying crazy shit on Facebook and accusing himself of murder and everything else. Acting like he's still a coxswain. Yeah. Sir, here is your scummy award and your 1099. Have a very good day. And a dozen eggs. They're all cracked. Have a good day.

Yeah, because they're cracked. That's what you get. Your 1099, your scummy award and your dozen eggs that are all cracked. Enjoy. Enjoy that, Marty. Congratulations for you. Oh, it's been a year. Next up is a positive award because they're all so negative.

One positive award we have to have here. And it is the Mandy Maloon Award. For someone who has actually not only stopped being an asshole, but has turned it around to the point where they're now contributing positive things to society in terms of whatever they're doing. Mandy Maloon, as we know, has been just a fighter to take down these shitty, molesting, and fucked up Olympic coaches. She's testified before Congress. She's made it her mission and we're behind her 100%. So this award goes

to this year. It's not a one-person award. It goes to Brandon Marshall. Oh, yeah. It goes to Brandon Marshall who had a ton of problems. Many of them we found out were mental health-based to the point where once he realized he was bipolar and started receiving treatment, we saw his arrest drop off to nearly nothing.

And from then on, he became a mentor to other players. And at this point, he's a mental health advocate, very big in trying to not only get players, but other people with mental illnesses, bipolar specifically, because that's his illness, to come forward about mental illness, even does events and speeches with Glenn Close. And now the only time he's having police interaction is via racially profiling ones. Yeah. When he's racially profiled, trying to move into a house that he rented and gave them money for. So good for you, Brandon Marshall. It's all positive except for being racially profiled. Brandon Marshall. It's all positive except for being racially profiled. Anyway, here's the last couple here. Most likely

to have a second CIS episode. Oh boy. People who aren't done. They're not done committing shit, Jimmy. Number one, Robinho. You remember Robinho? I hate him. I hated him. He was such a racist. Sexually gross, everything else. He won't even

admit he's a scumbag right no remorse none no anything matter of time still he's back still being signed to teams as a matter of fact that's what i'm saying so if that's happening there's no fucking way that he's not going to just think everything's fine and keep doing it right uh second up scott tucker yeah the payday loan scammer there is no way he won't try to do this again he's gonna get out of jail and he's gonna need so much money to pay the restitution and fines the only way to do it is through scamming it's true not only that the lifestyle he lived and lives and wants to be and is used to and all that shit you don't just go i'll just get a one

bedroom apartment now. He's not. He's going to do it again. It's just in his nature. Finally, Kellen Winslow Jr. makes an appearance here. When you love displaying and forcibly using your dick to that extent, that just doesn't go away, Jimmy. Right, but James, the worst part is when you only get 14 years for it.

That's what I'm saying. It's coming back. 14 years and he's not going to do the whole 14. He'll be back. We know he'll be back, so it's possible. Youthful enough to get a raging hard on. Oh, he's still going to be. His dick is rock hard, Jim.

He's going to be climbing in old ladies' windows before we know it. But the winner here is Robinho. It's Robinho. Because of the fact that he's still playing and he's young enough to still be involved with sports, meaning he's got years and years to fuck up. It's opportunity, babe. Just by the opportunity alone, he wins.

Now, here's another one here. We have three more awards, I believe. Let's see. The person you'd least want to date your daughter award. Every goddamn one of these guys i mean a lot a lot it's hard to break it down into just three yeah number one adam johnson because he'd be asking if you had any more maybe younger daughters so that'd be bad possibly borrow your lube you know he would uh oscar pistorius because you know your daughter might not be able to hold it

in all night long. Right. She might have to take a leak in the middle of the night, and she's not going to last very long. And finally, Kellen Winslow Jr., an exhibitionist, large-cocked rapist. So let's say probably not him. Winner here, this is a tough one because they're all pretty scummy. Yeah. It's Oscar Pistorius, everybody.

because they're all pretty scummy. It's Oscar Pistorius, everybody. The panel came up with, from what Frankie and Benny told me, they said, it seemingly came out of nowhere. It was hard to predict. At least you know that Winslow's penis is dangerous.

Right. So Pistorius is more dangerous because you didn't predict that at all. Winslow, you know his dick is a problem from the start. So let's see here. Okay. The Please Turn It Around Award. you know his dick is a problem from the start so let's see here okay the uh please turn it around award this is the award for or we call it the ron laflore memorial award yeah the award of somebody we kind of liked yeah or at least just want them to get their shit together because we're like come on uh first off kurt angle yeah get your shit together. He's never going to.

He's a psychopath, and his Instagram, social media stuff is weird. It's bizarre. I think he's got some CTE issues. He's got some residual something, for sure. He's got something going on. Rod Strickland. I hated that with Rod Strickland. I just like him, and I always have. And not to mention, I just like him. and I always have. And not to mention, he's the only, you know, I just like him.

He's good. I want him to do it. And finally, Josh Hamilton. Not because I care about him, just because I don't want to see him shirtless in public. Get the, stop. Stop exposing people to that. Turn it around, man. I don't want him to have to be a janitor anymore.

No, stop it. And the winner here is, winner, Rod Strickland. Rod Strickland. Since he's the only nominee with a Wu-Tang lyric about him, he wins. You can thank I believe Raekwon for saying made him jump like Rod Strickland. That got you the award, Rod. Enjoy.

So finally, last two, Lenny Dykstra award. This is just given out this is not a competitive award we just give it to someone bestow it upon someone the lenny dykstra i'm good award now this is award doesn't necessarily mean you've turned everything around but you have a very good sense of humor about yourself doing stupid shit and you're you're generally a good time yeah so that award goes to and really it

only could go to one guy this year charles barkley obviously he fucks up sure but he'll tell you that this blow job he's on his way to get is worth drunk driving for hides nothing has no shame you know you got to give it to him and, in comparison to everybody else who made money in the NBA, he barely made a goddamn dime. That's what I mean. That, too. He deserves more money, I think, there. Next up, my least favorite award, the most likely to find and kill me award for all the research that I've done and bad shit that I've said about them, I'm sure. They'll kill Jimmy, too, but I feel like they're going to come for me first since I compiled it all.

That's all I'm saying. I'm holed up behind two locked doors every day, all day. I think I'm okay. I'm a little more worried about you. Yeah, they're going to come for me, Jimmy. First up, Terry Marsh. Okay. The chess boxing guy there.

He's so litigious, and he may or may or may not in quotes have tried to seek revenge before right luckily he's in europe so that puts him on the back burner puts an ocean between us uh new jack because he's crazy and so and i mean so many people have told him about it to the point where his daughter contacted us saying how bad of a guy he is and wants to do an interview with us about him. Like, he's going to murder us, dude. I'm scared to do that. He even made a cameo for us.

He knows, man. He made a cameo for us? Remember that? No. Oh, yes. Yeah, he knows, dude. He's very well aware. And finally, Raphael Torrey, he would say he was going to kill us but lie about it if he said he

didn't want to kill us then we should worry yeah so him you never know because he's a liar the winner in this one it's new jack hands down hands down he seems like the only absolute killer he's a killer and he seems like the only one that wouldn't think about it for years right never crossed his mind then one morning he'd wake up and say i think i'm gonna stab those two motherfuckers talk all that shit about me way worse james i picture that man logging both of our faces in his memory and then out it i don't know you pop into the grocery store one day and you pass him in the fucking frozen foods aisle and he stabs you with a hot pocket that's what he'll do yeah it's frozen damn it ah take that he gets the frozen bananas gets it right in your neck shanks you now uh finally here's the big one everybody this is

the one we've been waiting for all year lots of competition for this one extra we have extra uh contestants in this one and everything it's the big one the granddaddy of them all the scumbag of the year here it is now remember everyone this is not just what you did yeah it's but how you did it a complete disregard for decency and general human nature is required even maybe having a little bit of alan while you do your craziness you know what i mean yeah last year's winner mitch bloodgreen in an upset for his absolute insanity he took over a gas station and just started doing a shift there and pocketing the money challenge mike tyson to a street fight he's scum this year let's get into it everybody we. We have one, two, three, four, five contestants. So it's a big one. First up, Reggie Gross, if you remember him.

The West Baltimore, if you've seen The Wire, he was basically a character. Right. It was based on him on The Wire. For pure body count and brutality, he's right out of The Wire. You got to put him in there. Second up, Scott Tucker. Yeah. Payday loan scammer, like we said. Scammed billions of dollars out of four and a half million people.

That's pretty fucking scummy. Absolute monster. It's hard to it's really hard to beat like a physical harm that someone's put on someone. But if he comes close to it, man, he's the only guy who doesn't have a physical like a violent crime that's on this list. So but, you know, you don't really have to when the crime is like that. When you're affecting people's lives for years and years and years, it's almost better to murder these poor people, you bastard. Put them out of their misery, you fucking jerk.

It'd be easier. Now, third up, this is a controversial one. I'm sorry, there's six guys. Michael Irvin is up for scumbag of the year in a late entry, very late entry entry came in at the last moment i mean honestly benny and frankie were on the fence about accepting it i said fine and then finally i convinced benny to come over to my side and we voted 2-1 against frankie and accepted the bid here uh very late for trying to strong arm that girl mainly having her strip

searched and brought to a thing. And that's disgusting for someone who's that has that less, who's that much less than you in society. You know what I mean? Yeah. She's a waitress stripper and you are the king of Dallas and you're going to like, try to act like you're like a mob boss.

The fuck out of here with that shit. And, uh, for the most hypocrisy of anyone really too, because of all the Jesus stuff, he's constantly spouting so that puts him up there also kellen winslow jr no no surprise here uh raping old ladies is the definition of scum i mean that's you know upping the entity upping the ante with also homeless women that's fucking awful you're a terrible man he tried to he tried to do weak

people who couldn't fight him off and people in society that he thought wouldn't be believed that's what he did right scumbag uh he would have been gary ridgeway if you let him go on i think and maybe he'll be back like we said who knows um so there's him steve skinner you remember steve skinner i do but i don't he is the man who committed the cat house murders by brutally murdering a pregnant woman oh my who was the one from the cat house hbo show right um so several murders escaped custody ran to south america where he then became an international drug kingpin right which is fucking he had two major life of crime lives of crime yeah that's crazy and finally oscar pistorius i mean you know what i mean he's oscar

pistorius he's got to be up for scumbag of the year here just like oj was in his year so i mean let's go over we got kellen winslow he had every chance in the world. Decent family. A dad who played in the league to guide him. But his love of exposing his penis to those who didn't want to see it was his true love, Jimmy. Not football. So he was up there. Reggie Gross. With a passion. So Reggie Gross just wasn't from a good place.

See the wire. I mean, he never had a chance, that fucking guy. Whatever. Michael Irvin seems to at least been scared enough to lose everything that he toned down shit enough to keep his jobs yeah you know what i'm saying so he's got that going for him so the winner here is everybody drum roll for the scummies scumbag of the year steve skinner yeah everybody half-assed mma fighter but very brutal murderer killed a pregnant woman among others then fled fled to South America where he somehow started and headed up an international drug ring before finally being caught.

That is two scumbags worth of scum right there. You can't beat that. He is scumbag of the year, everybody. And that is the 2021 Scummy Awards. My God. We'd like to thank everyone for coming to that. It's really been a hell of a year. And thank you to all the contestants for putting your best foot forward, your worst foot forward, and bringing the heat.

You really made this one worth it. We, too, appreciate your shittiness. Thank you so much. And we would like to thank our esteemed panelists, Benny and Frankie, for all of their hard work as well. Yeah. Working for nothing but dog treats. So they put in a lot of work for this. Very affordable. There you go. If you enjoyed that, please tell us about it.

Get on Apple Podcasts. Show us some love. Give us five stars. It helps a lot. And we don't know why. Just do it. Head over to ShutUpAndGiveMeMurder.com for everything crime and sports and small town murder. And if you haven't listened to small town murder, what are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for? They're crazy ass stories. The bonus episode we did was a hillbilly who married his niece. Listen to the goddamn show. It's crazy shit. Listen to PS. I hate this movie. I have to watch Twilight.

All 58 of them. Please listen to me complain about it for the love of fuck. Not only that, you definitely, definitely want to follow us on social media so you can get all of the uh everything right when we say it and whatever you'll be the first to know it uh social media we are at crime and sports on twitter and facebook and at small town murder on instagram there and finally patreon you are you're missing out if you're not doing patreon period our episodes are good we're we're very self-deprecating if something's like mediocre like we tried our best james yes we hate ourselves these episodes are amazing listen to patreon patreon.com slash crime

and sports five dollars a month gets you all the bonuses, not only from Crime and Sports, but also from Small Town Murder. The whole back catalog of them. Everything like that. We did Danny Almonte last week for Crime and Sports, and it was just a crazy-ass story. And we'll have another crazy-ass story on the next bonus in two weeks. That is Crime and Sports or Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports. Do that right now. And Jimmy will mispronounce your name at the

end of the show because you are now a producer and also if you want to just be a producer and have amazing karma because you are just a great person who wanted to give some money away you can do that as well over at paypal using our email address crime and sports at gmail.com and uh jimmy will also mispronounce your name and speaking speaking of that, Jimmy, damn it, I think it's been long enough. It's time. You've got to hit me with the names of the most wonderful people in the world who would never, ever win Scumbag of the Year. Jimmy, hit me with them right now. This week's executive producers are Jordan Bennett, Cameron Koshwara, Diane Lewis, Joanne Ahern, and Josh Sardo.

Thank you, guys. You're goddamn heroes. Other producers this week are Robert Jones' daughter, Meredith, who had a birthday. She got him listening to the show. That's why he gives a shit. I mean, he gives a shit for more than that reason, I'm sure. But still, thank you. We love it.

Turning people on to the show is the greatest thing you could do, so thank you. Especially when it's your parents. That's fucking hilarious. Other producers are Trevor Lawson, Colin Fishbaugh, Pixie de leon morgan rushing thomas de mello um where did i go god damn it jennifer visconci james martyr peyton meadows carl corporal umlat kushner who by the way something is wrong with my computer every time i type his name now it does the umlots over the u that's what those are called right umlots yeah? Yeah, yeah. Now I think it's just in your memory. Now it's memorized.

Now it never goes away, and I don't know how to stop it. Corporal Kirshner gets umlauts. That's right. Here it goes. It's out of control. My computer's ruined. Andrew Vipond, I think, Vipond, Sarah Miller, Jesse Pitts in Tennessee. Thank you, Jesse.

Steve Chanel in Pennsylvania. Thank you, Steve. Thanks, Jesse. Steve Chanel in Pennsylvania. Thank you, Steve. Thanks, Steve. Domestic Disaster Designs. Chain Grant. Fiona Light. Havnus Melkonianan. Lunt. Whoa. No, that wasn't right. That sounds tough. John Carney.

Stephanie Grobeck. Albert Phillips. Julia Barth. Thomas Smith. Jessica Remick's husband, Mike the Bald Eagle, had a birthday. Mike the Bald Eagle Remick, obviously. Ashley Snyder, Janice Hill, Megan Hutchcraft, Susanna Platt, Amanda Jacobs,

Natalie Ulven, Brendan Ables, John Brace, Todd Theroff, I think, Hannah Bragg, Molly McDermott, Katie Bailey, Myla Forbes, Jason, nope, that's James, Swin, Jordan Beach, Mark Gonzalez, Derek Edwards, Maury Allen, Jesus, Lauren Donahue, Kevin Cheek, John Wertz, Jacqueline Stoneking, Robert Flores,

Willie Roberts, Emma Claire Beckett, Olaf with no last name, Shelby with no last name, Michael Shielvibine, probably not. You were on a roll there, Jimmy. I know. I was really getting in it. You were cruising. I hit the pocket and I was running. Amy Hogan, Kelly Bishop, Paul Gibson, Kyle with no last name, Lucy with no last name, Rick Tavian Johnson, Amanda Foley, Daniel with no last name, Zach Cox, Elizabeth Wolfe, Wendy Dragoon, Carrie Gibbons, Ashley with no last name, Reese Garrett, Alexis Schneider, Ashley Cooper, Michael Stanzel, Jacob Durst, Christopher North, Angie Olajio, I think, Hannah Walker, Ellery Dobe, Dobby, Dobby, I don't know,isa Baker, Allison Conover, Lexi McGinnis, Todd

Aggressively Wardy Cochran, Hans Haldock, James Miles, Tara Williams, Brittany Greendeer, Rick Ferguson, Peyton Riker, Shil bailey ben smith christine with no last name nathan hill emma wood adby abdi orabi fuck sure win a briel uh stella arnott johnny gardner joe morrison story michael trujillo christopher stotko kelly welchek kamala kamala kamala Kamala, Kamala, Kamala, Kamala, Kamala Brown Sparks. Kamala Pomola. Yep. That's the one. Sean Embry, Real Meat, KP with no last name, Samuel Sloan Jr., Hannah Eisenberg, Paul Kay, Jill Elting, Madeline Jaquet, Jack Way, Catherine McCutcheon. Jack Kay from 227?

Yes. Oh, thanks, Jack Kay. Justin Kissel, Chris Rhoda, Zach Trailer, Kylie K. Kylie? Kylie. I think it's Kylie. Thomas Rose, Maura Winter, Cooper Corajula. Oh, boy.

Brendan Chapman, Colton Kennan, Jessica Calling, Jesse Smith, Jamie Phillips, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Sex, Ignacio with no last name, Ed Flores, Kelsey Hebert. She's back. Remember when you got her? Scary fucking stoned. Yeah, I got her in Chicago. Sent her off into the night. I feel terrible.

Just walk off under those trains, Kelsey. Have a good night. We should have gotten her an Uber or something. We should have. Fuck. Josh Weir, FlashNZ, Jonathan Hoskins, Michael Schaap, Sarah Hollingsworth, Cindy Rodriguez, Roni Schirmersheim, Jessica Fancher, Barry McCockner. What?

McCockner. Yeah. Oh, Barry McCockner. Barry McCockner. Gotcha, Barry. I'm on board. You beat me. How are you now?

You beat me. Tiff Jimenez, Iris Ferreta, sabrina ayler christy patrio solio nope ryan leclerc nick dunn michaela campbell uh michael wajoshio what randy newton brenda flinton theron jones sam fairly watson sandra with no last name abigail fisher megan with no last name katherine Fisher. Megan with no last name. Catherine Catalano. Tony Collarmale. What? Collarmaleal? Collarmaleal. That's the one.

Grant Mack. Serena Mossberg. Matt Schrader. Anthony Johnson. Rain Ashley. Dove and Dustin Edwards. Jack Ellis. David Soate. Kara with no last name. Kelly Fleshman, Zach Norman, Christine, Christian Denhard, Nick Wicken, Jeremy Manning, Anna Gay, Tom Campbell, Alyssa Wilson.

What the fuck? Melissa Butler, Elliot would no last name. Jordan Hennon, Kimberly Bridges, James Davenport, Lily would no last name. Kristen Maturski, Zach Katz, Shiftavious Bunkshank, I think. That's a handle. It is. Eugene Marder, Allie S with no last name, just the S, Kennedy Cork, Rebecca Boland,

Joshua Slotky, Katie Bailey, Dizzy Davis, Kyle House, Sam Seaton, Mike Billingsley, Brad Thornton, Chops with no last name, Becca Dunphy, Amy Potts, Dustin Brown, Cynthia Puga, Ken Sorensen, Veronica Jensen, Leon Deacon, Alvaro Rocha, or Rocha, I think it's Rocha, Alexa Robinson, Don Murray, Gregory Smith, Only One Echo, Haley Sample, Jack Nichols, Jay Vaughn, I think, yep, Casey Jones, Tequila Dickerson, Bella, what is that, Eakins, Samantha Clare, John B. with no last name, Amanda Harper, Terry Lischka, and Amy Farr, and obviously all of our patrons.

You guys are really the wind beneath our wings. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, everybody, for everything you do, for everything you've done the whole year, and honestly, for everything you've done for the last five years yeah this is we've been doing this five years now these people do uh they go hard for crime you guys go hard for us and it's fucking it really is mind-blowing and thank you and we have no idea what the future holds for crime and sports next year say we don't know who knows this might be the last scummies ever or we might have more who the fuck knows we'll find out but either way we love the damn show and we just love doing it and what if people wanted to get a hold of you jimmy how the hell could they find they know where they

know where we're at i don't i really am just so thankful for for everything yeah thank you guys if you're listening you can see our names and find them it's no big deal yeah find us there and continue to keep finding us and continue to keep finding the shows and just thank you for everything you've done for us for five years we really really do appreciate it and uh nothing left to say except live from the crime and sports studios we will see you next week bye Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.