Crime in Sports - #280 - A Bad Samaritan - The Dopiness of Jon "Bones" Jones

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

This week, we look into a man who rose like a rocket, to international success & fame, while punching & choking people into submission. Unfortunately, not all of these incidents took place inside the octagon. He isn't a very responsible driver, seems to love the strip club, enough to have several incidents at those establishments. Every time he gets another chance to be the star of UFC, he seems to blow it. No one is safe, especially pregnant drivers! A complete mess, that just didn't have to be! Come from underdog status all the way to UFC stardom, make way less money than you should, and try not to threaten to fight a police force with Jon "Bones" Jones!! Check us out, every Tuesday! !We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!  Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman  Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail]  Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com  Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!  Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsports [e-mail] facebook.com/Crimeinsports instagram.com/smalltownmurder See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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It's streaming. You can say anything. It's an all-new season. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports! Yay! Oh, yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host.

I am Jimmy Wissman. Thank you folks so much for joining us. We are excited to be back here. Took last week off because of traveling and it was our first week back on the road. And as you can hear in my voice, that's two live shows in a night there that you hear yeah which is rough so um thank you by the way for everybody that came out to the tempe improv to do that that was really fun we had a blast thank you so many people were there for both shows which is like a six hour night there if you're there before the show and you have to wait for them to flip the room and

all that and then two shows on top of it so So thank you for hanging with us. We really do appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Other things we want to thank you for reviews. Thanks for those. They help a lot. If you haven't done it yet, this is the week. Get on there.

Give a review. Doesn't matter what you say. Just give five stars and say, we'll be thankful. We like these people. Yes, it's Thanksgiving. There you go. That's thank you, Jimmy. Thanks for putting a little guilt into it.

Thank you, James. I appreciate it. So do that. Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports. My goodness, the goodness this week is coming. We have lots of good episodes. Last week, by the way, or last episodes of Bonus, such good reaction. We're happy you enjoyed the fist episode and the real estate report.

This week, no exception. Anybody $5 or above, you get access to both shows, Small Town Murder and Crime and Sports, Patreon. enjoyed the fist episode and the real estate report this week no exception anybody five dollars or above you get access to both shows small town murder and crime and sports patreon everything that comes with it for crime and sports this week we have sports superstitions which are a lot of fun people's crazy weird rituals that they do before whether it's popular for it yeah wade boggs's chicken or you know everybody has, everybody has, yeah, Wade Boggs, he ate chicken like every game for his entire career, which is a lot of chicken. I just thought he had a pet chicken in his locker.

He kind of runs like a chicken. That would be a superstition, like Serrano. He's going to sacrifice it. But there's all sorts of weird superstitions that athletes have had throughout the years. And we're going to find the weirdest ones and talk about them, which will be hilarious, obviously. The guy that thinks flies are lucky? See? It happens.

They're everywhere. And then for small town murders, we're going to do something very crazy. We're going to talk about the NXIVM cult. Oh, yes! It's amazing because that is like where cults and multi-level marketing cross. If there's a Venn diagram right in the middle, it's NXIVM. We're going to talk about kind of how it relates to Scientology because they based a lot of it on it, and it's obvious. It's very strange stuff.

We're going to talk about, of course, the grossness and the sexual things and the harem of women and actresses. And it's insanity. We'll talk all about NXIVM. Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports is where you get all that good stuff. And it's Thanksgiving. So thank you. And you can thank us back by doing that. If you just want to say thank you on PayPal, you can do that as well using our email address, Crime and Sports at gmail.com.

And you can make a donation and you'll get shout-out at the end of the show. Either way you do it, we will thank you so much via shout-out at the end of the show. That said, let's get down to business. Jimmy, what do you say? Yeah, I'd love to. That sounds terrific. Let's get on with this. It's been a while since we have done an MMA fighter.

Oh, when was the last one? Yes, I i mean we've done a lot of brain damage sports i think it was andrew wadsworth the murderer i think he was the last one who i don't remember that's possible he was a he slaughtered he was what he did was disgusting he was absolutely one of our oh yeah this week we're gonna go with somebody very famous because whenever there's a week off you know you're getting hit hard on the way back in and we have to you know we have to it's almost an apology sorry we had to take a week off here's a heavy hitter and we're gonna do it here with john bones jones let's do it i was that right oh yeah we're gonna get into this guy this week it's about time we have watched his resume stack as we've done this it's it's really

it's gotten really good when we first started this people used to recommend him and we would go yeah it's just not there just an undergrad it's not a big deal i mean it was it was it was percolating there was a few things and it was fun and crazy but he has gone off the deep end in the last couple years into a place he's gotten his he's gotten his master's and PhD in, in, in butt fuckery. He's an asshole. It's so much where he's going to be waiting in the scumbag of the year

territory, which is from, from an opening act to a headlining scumbag is pretty impressive in a five year period. We're very impressed with him. So let's get into him brain damaging. And he even, he even says he has a lot of brain trauma

and that could might explain his actions somewhat and uh also seems to be a bit of an asshole when it comes down to it at times so let's do it jonathan dwight jones his real name is john jones real name is john jones j-o-n and uh dwight is the Bones is his nickname. We'll get into how he got that nickname. Had nothing to do with fighting whatsoever. No? Do you know anything about his family? No. I know nothing.

I know, okay. So here's my extent of the long and the short, short, start to beginning, start to end of John Bones Jones history that I know. What do you got? He's a fighter. Yes. He's an asshole. That's all all i know and we're talking about him you're gonna be so surprised because you know his brothers actually you know not personally but you know who they are yeah one definitely absolutely you know uh we'll talk about it here john bones jones born july 19th 1987 here. No shit. He's not that old. He's a young guy.

Rochester, New York he's from, which is way western New York if you've ever been to Rochester. You know it because you're in New York, but you're like, what is that accent? That could peel paint off the walls. Where am I? Cleveland? What's happening here? It's very strange. My mom has that

accent. It's not good. That western Nework accent is something yeah it is just a oof i remember as a kid before i'd ever heard like a real new york accent people would be people would ask my mom where she's from and she'd say new york and the fucking ponderous what really you don't say again because i can't place that accent but it doesn't sound like it's from brooklyn i don't know no shit say pizza yeah what's going on here jesus christ yeah he's born in rochester grows up there for about 10 years and then they moved to binghamton which is also terrible so you got you got both of those places binghamton sucks so bad i had a cousin that went to college there it's a good college got accepted went there had a cousin that went to college there. It's a good college. Got accepted.

Went there and then dropped out, went to a different college because he couldn't take Binghamton. He was like, I can't. I hate the town. It snows in feet. It's just horrible. Yeah, you can't. New York is littered with these SUNY colleges, they're called, which are State University of New York. And that's what all these little towns thrive on all throughout. Every town has a college.

So there's a bunch of drunk 20-year-olds wandering through every small town in New York. But they're good schools, right? The SUNY schools? Yeah, they're all good schools. Yeah, they're all good. State schools are all good. It's not like community colleges that are littered in Phoenix. No, no.

They're four-year schools. You go away to them and you live in this weird little town. And it's like a strange, like a 50s college movie. It's just a weird shit. So early in his life, his parents we'll talk about, his mother's name is Camille, which I can't not say. In my head, it only exists in Bill Cosby's voice. Just my wife, Camille. It comes out so clearly and um

my whole childhood that was programmed with himself how many times you listen to himself on a fucking cassette tape going my wife camille yeah everybody knows her and she has the money for the tickets she's got the money for the tickets my son wants money for a ticket money for a ticket now sorry now now everything started now that's how he reset every fucking thing where it's like now the punch lines now meant pay attention for the next 20 seconds because the punch line's coming now he literally told the dumb ass audience to listen up it's a reset that's some shit a comic picks up after 30 years of doing shit and just you get those little weird tells because every comic has like a cue to the microphone his is to drop a pill in your drink but that's a different

one than most people he just he litters the front row with fucking roofies and then people fall over and he takes his pick some people might tip their microphone to the left or something the show that they just doing his set he literally told people now now listen you don't have to listen now every time if you haven't heard in a long time i know people are whatever but just just youtube bill cosby any joke of his at At some point, he goes, now. Anytime past 1968, he does that. So his mother's name, Camille, and his father's name is Arthur, and he is a pastor. I was fixing to say, they sound very astute people.

They got their shit together. That's a good family. This is a real good family, top-notch family here there's no uh he cannot blame his upbringing for this no no no because you look at his brothers and you're like nope they're doing great what the fuck's wrong with you what's your fucking julio james no it's not julio it's it's it's more surprising almost so he's a father or a pastor at Mount Sinai Church of God in Christ in Binghamton, New York. It's a lot. Mount Sinai Church of God in Christ.

Oof, that's a lot. We like Christ, just say. Just have a big thing. Christ, thumbs up. Yay. Is there a church called I Heart Christ? I Heart Christ with a thumbs up emoji. there a church called i heart christ i heart christ with a thumbs up emoji that's especially especially in new york yeah a thumbs up emoji and all the different shades it

comes in anybody who likes jesus come on and it says it all it's all you need yeah so uh john is the third of four kids so he's got two older brothers and uh or i'm sorry an older brother an older sister and a younger brother got it okay now his older sister's name is carmen and uh this is horrible she dies of a brain tumor what before her 18th birthday which is wow that is at 17 tragic yeah that's absolutely fucking tragic and that usually doesn't happen like you just fucking go. You know what I mean? She had a tough few years, I imagine. That's brutal. It's so brutal because it's so weird that the four kids, three of them, are physically impeccable.

And one just short-circuited and died of a brain tumor before they even became an adult. It's like, I don't know if it's like the Danny DeVito in Twins theory. All this shit came together and created you. And got used up already. Yeah. I don't know what happened. That's what they said about him. I'm not saying that about her.

No, no, no. That's from the movie Twins. That's what we're talking about. All this shit came together and made you. Yeah, yeah. No. This poor girl, she died when she's 17. That's tragic and fucking horrible.

Her older brother, Arthur third, by the way, his dad's a junior. Oh my. So yeah, he's a, he's a junior's son, but not the third because his brother's the third, his older brother.

That lets you know fuckery was on the way. Oh yeah. That's why that's, you should have known. It's the only hint. That's the thing. The family, they're all like smart people,

nice people. It's the, they had one hint and it's like that they're just going to keep doing that. So there's something. They didn't know. They didn one hint, and it's like they're just going to keep doing that. So there's something. They didn't know. They didn't know. Before this show, James, the third and junior sounded prestigious. Yeah, people didn't know.

They had no idea. Now they're hiding it. They should be anyway. Yeah. You know how many of all of our listeners, they all say whenever they see a football player, anybody with junior on their back, they're like automatically suspect. It's programmed. It's not even like a conscious thought. It's just like, oh, boy, look out for this one.

What did you do? It's just so strange. So now Arthur ends up playing in high school at Union Endicott High School. Arthur's 6'3", 280 pounds. Holy shit. That's a big3", 280 pounds. Holy shit. His brother's a big pastor. Oh, that's Arthur III here. He was a three-star recruit out of high school for college football here,

and he ended up playing college football, and Arthur ends up playing as well in the NFL. He plays from 2010 to 2017 in the NFL. He's got seven years. Oh, yeah. He was on Baltimore's Super Bowl winning team. No shit. He's got a ring.

He played for Indianapolis and Washington. Incredible. He didn't even knock around and play for five teams in the last two years and get cut. He played for three teams in seven years. That's a very respectable. And seven years, that's more than double double the average three and a half years is the average and uh he's a defensive lineman this guy obviously the size of him even harder fucking monster and now his brother chandler's even better chandler jones of the arizona cardinals

out of here that's his that's his little brother how did i not know that that's the young one that's bones his little brother yeah that's you're telling me this the sack record holder for the arizona cardinals is john bones jones's brother you bet your fucking ass it is yep i had no idea i had no clue about that i don't know how that's not more known yeah it's you'd think that i know wow he hit him hard knocked him out like his brother would knock out a man in the first round with elbows. I can tell you why. Wait until the end of this show, that's why.

Yeah, but at the time, though, I mean, he played for New England at first. He was only a two-star recruit coming out of high school, by the way. Really? It just goes to show you, he didn't blossom yet. And it turns out— Most career sacks for the most recent team he plays for. The guy's unstoppable. Oh, he is.

He played for New England at first. That's who he's drafted by. And then he signed a five-year, $82.5 million contract with the Cardinals as a free agent. So since then, he's been a Super Bowl champion with New England. He is a two-time first-team All-Pro, which is the first fucking team. Three-time Pro Bowl. He was the NFL Sacks leader in 2017. Won the Butkus Award, which is the best NFL linebacker, in 2019.

He's on the NFL 2010's All-Decade team for the whole fucking league. New England Patriots 2010's All-Decade team. NFC Defensive Player of the Year 2019. All- all decade team. NFC player NFC defensive player of the year 2019. All rookie team. He's got over 100 sacks. He's got 105 sacks which is a pretty rarefied air. That's

pretty fucking impressive. He has five in one game and he has the record for the most sacks all time for the Cardinals. That's incredible. The guy's just a force he's a beast yeah he's a he's an absolute force and uh much like his brother is in the octagon wow jones is an asshole but you can't john that is not chandler uh john's an asshole but you can't take anything away from what he does professionally he's wow he's incredible i

mean he's never no one's ever beat him and put it that way as we'll talk about so i mean yeah you can't beat the fucking guy so he's got that locked down now he wanted to fight and he was into wrestling john was he also played football in high school as well uh which is how he got his nickname apparently he was a defensive lineman and he's you know he's like my size basically skinny for yeah six four he's about 195 pounds so uh playing off our defensive line so the coach nicknamed him bones that's how it was the skinny one yeah bones that's how it was because i mean and it rhymes you got your brother's in the nfl you're gonna play you know you're gonna

try at least he's your brother's a star player. Now, his father didn't want him to fight at all. He didn't like him doing wrestling or any of that. He said, quote, I wanted him to preach. Oh. He wanted him to be a preacher. He said, I tried to discourage him from being a fighter. I told him, you don't want to do that.

You can do other things. Be a pastor. That's what he told him. So John did not not he did the opposite of that which is dad birthed and raised three prime time athletes this family honestly i'm trying to think of another family that has raised three athletes of this caliber i i honestly can't the mannings have two yeah there's that i mean the uh i guess i guess the father there so there would be three but not three freak the greek freak has four brothers four brothers yeah

one of them plays on his team and the other is so young right now but he's like the best high school kid i mean he may be in college now he's gonna make the nba also so there's a family that's a family yeah yeah but that's that's about it, right? I mean, yeah, because I'm talking from one generation, not multi-generational. Because you could start saying a lot of guys can do the dads and sons. There's got to be quality. Yeah, yeah. These guys are all, I mean, two of them have rings, for Christ's sake. And one's, you know, one of the best defensive players.

Yeah, and one's one of the best defensive players. The NFL All-Decade team. He's fucking, you know, he's as good as it gets for where he is he's making 82 million dollars that's a lot that's incredible so uh he said that and this is something that's hilarious the father said then he didn't want him to do it but then he started thinking about it and he began to recognize that there's a connection between faith and MMA. Oh. What, like when a guy says, oh my God? This is, I mean, Sodom and Gomorrah technically, I guess, if you want to talk about what it looks like.

But that's just, you know, I mean, if you want to talk about biblical stories, that's, you know, whatever. Anyway. A pummeling like the crucifixion? Is that what you mean? He says, quote, in biblical times, there was always warfare. David and Goliath, Samson, the enemies of the Israelites. He said they fought in the valleys, on the hills, in the mountains. My son trains for every fight, not just physically, but spiritually. Oh, my.

Hey, you know what? It's working. Like if maybe if that's what it is, maybe he needs that. That's great. Good for him. Amazing. That's a hell of a way to justify trying to kill a man with knees and elbows and or choking him till he's unconscious. Either one.

So he his father also says that John always had a special presence, a charisma, if you will, since birth. Since birth, mind you. As a young baby, you could look into his eyes and he said, this is a wild quote here, quote, he was born like that. Even when he was a baby, he didn't have to say, pick me up. You knew. Even when he cried, he would look you in the eye. Even then, he just had a commanding presence okay he's like the baby great sounds like he's gonna say now next to

something a commanding presence if your fucking infant has a commanding presence you worry about that kid maybe you should take it to church because it might be possessed by something because I've never seen a baby with a commanding presence that can't get itself up. It's a little frightening for sure. Too much, man. Then he says this. Now, we're going to talk. This will come back once or twice because I just want to tell you what his dad said. And then we'll tell you what that what practically that's worked out as in his life.

Yeah. Quote, he says he feels as though his son is. This is his son's way of ministering to the world. The word of God being out there. He's eating the word of God into my face. He said, quote, in a way, I think John is preaching now. Never in his fucking career would I call anything he's doing preaching, whether it be in the ring or extracurricular or anything. There's no preaching happening here.

I preach with my fists. I've never heard Arthur Jr. preach, but I will tell you this. Whatever he says is fantastic because he is selling this bullshit impeccably. He really is. I'm telling you. He's good, I think. I think he's good. Like, I think if you went to his congregate, I think he'd be real entertaining, I believe.

I don't know what it is. I don't know. I think he'd be good. You're like, yeah, this motherfucker knows what he's talking about. Because this is some grade A bullshit is what this is. I mean, this is ridiculous. There's no Jesus in the MMA. Stop it. No. And then out of the ring what's he's like well we'll find out but there's always cocaine involved and something he's got a gun all the time i preach with my elbows so uh john says this uh he doesn't really

expand on this but he says quote my life hasn't always been great being sexually assaulted as a child losing a parent and a sibling because mom dies later on we'll talk about that at a young age he wasn't that young when his mom died i mean he was young he wasn't a kid um it just goes on and on man i have some things to take care of so that's i'm so sad for him now that's his story there yeah i don't know that's one of the only time he's mentioned it i don't know the details we don't know there's no other mention of this no he says it in a quote once and then he doesn't really go into it and say like oh yeah you know like tyson says an old man pulled me in a building and all that kind of shit i understand i'm no one's forcing anybody to

fucking publicly tell us what happened to your butthole tell us it's all right to know like that's fine we don't need to do that it is hard to tell where did he touch you is not my business so if he said it it's fine but if he wants to keep it private the story will make him cry i guarantee that yeah we don't need to push that out of him it's not easy to tell this is one area also where i'll say john this is on you and you can keep it or let it out as much as you want it's not easy to tell this is one area also where i'll say john this is on you and you can keep it or let it out as much as you want that's not our right so uh he goes to high school union endicott just like his brothers do man they must have just been like thank you jones family for star football players and a star wrestler as we'll talk about as well here. Our football team and wrestling team are fantastic for four years.

Because of your family. Thank you. So he meets a girl there as well, of course. In his junior year, he meets a – or John was a senior. She was a junior. He meets a young lady named Jessie with an I-E there. And Jessie Moses is her name. And they're going to stick together for a long time oh yeah we'll we'll talk about that here they're from now on they're together

so just know that from the time he's a senior she's a junior she's around is i understand it because she's i mean she's there before everything but that's not good. I mean, it doesn't seem smart. I wouldn't advise my children to find someone when they're a junior in high school and stick with them for the rest of their lives, probably. Perfect. You found it. Not what I would advise, but hey, if it works for you, I guess. We'll find out if it works for everybody involved in that. Your soulmate happened to be in your same history class. That's crazy

wild right yeah isn't it crazy that your soulmate lives within three miles of the school in a radius that's incredible how that works they just put a circle around the school and there's your soulmate you're both in the circle lucky you shocking fucking shocking is this is it a soulmate or did you settle let's be honest well i mean it's just the odds are that you could probably keep looking. You know what I mean? You wouldn't walk into a grocery store and just the first thing you see on a shelf go, that's what I'm having for dinner. Strawberry Oreos.

They're on sale. I'm having that for dinner. You go in a little further. Maybe there's fucking good steak on sale or something. Go check it out. Go in there. I promise there's something better because those are bad Oreos. Oh, they're goddamn terrible.

But that's what happens, though. If that's the first thing you see, you go, that's a good idea. Strawberry Oreo? Sure. Strawberry Oreos and onion straws? That sounds great. Perfect. Done.

Dinner's served. I love it. And some of those honey mustard pretzels? Done. Bed of onion straws blazing blue cheese uh buffalo combos and i'm in fuck it nobody's gotta touch it it's so silly so he ends up in high school does very well he is the uh new york state whatever whatever division one state champion the team is i guess guess, in 2005. For wrestling?

For wrestling that he's a part of here. And he is National High School Coaches Association Senior All-American in 2005 for wrestling as well. He's a badass. He really is. In 2004, he was in the Northeast Junior Greco-roman regional championship as well and i think he won that so he's he's a badass wrestler and then which is weird because when you watch him he's also i mean striking is kind of his main deal like you watch him you're like oh i might see a fucking knockout tonight like he's a yeah he throws down is incredible it's great too yeah

which makes sense but usually people who are this much into wrestling when they're younger, that's their base. And they're like, oh, fuck the hands. You know what I mean? It's almost like a point of pride. But this guy is as effective with both, which is scary. That's why he wins all the time. Because how do you fight that? There's no weakness there.

Well, if I do this, well, fuck, then he's just going to tie me up in a fucking knot. Okay, well, if I come right at it, he'll probably knock me out with this fucking big bony elbows. Shit. Now, like, where do I go now? When that ground and pound is just as effective as striking. It's a dangerous human being. That's not just in a ring. You know, anywhere. That's dangerous.

Jesus, that's not normal. It's just not normal. The two disciplines mixed together so effectively is not normal. He also goes to the, where is this universe? Oh, Iowa Central Community College. Oh. So there's that. Very prestigious.

Oh, it's everybody, anybody. But Iowa is a hotbed for college wrestling, though. Yeah? That makes sense. Iowa, Minnesota. There's a couple Midwestern states where people will sit for hours and watch young men grapple with each other. Weird. Very young men grapple with each other.

So weird. It's creepy. So he did win the junior college championship there. I guess his team did while they were there. He was the, they won the national championship, and he's an All-American out of Iowa Central Community College in 2006. So pretty good, pretty good shit. I think it's the national junior – it's the junior colleges. But still, he's as good as it gets there, not too shabby.

He starts wrestling at first. He doesn't fight MMA professionally at first. His first fights are in the, in the quote northeastern grapplers challenge well it wasn't really that big of a deal until i mean he's in the perfect prime oh yeah he comes along when there's already money in it of it right he doesn't have to build it it's all he came in and went oh this building's great oh look at this there's new glass this is terrific look at all the lights this guy's standing off to the side wiping sweat off their faces with drywall dust all over them. And they're like, this motherfucker over here.

Now they're too old to make any money. He pops up. It's fucking awesome. He's like a Major League Baseball player in like 1995. Like, oh, what happened? Sounds like you struggled for a while there. I heard there's money in this. I'll take $72 million now, guaranteed.

Fuck all of you. So more than Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig and Hank Aaron all made put together. How about that? I'll make that in five years. And I'll hit 235. Who cares? Fuck it. You'll forget about me in 10 years, and I'll be Fat Cat in the fucking Bahamas.

My name's Troy Tulewitzki. How you doing? Just remember he signed that huge deal and then hit like 208 the next year. I'm like, what happened to you? Shitbag. He's still alive somewhere, living it up. God damn it. On the beach.

On the beach. So this is in Ithaca, New York in January of 2008. And he fights, he grapples Doug Fournette or Fournette. I'm not sure. N-E-T. So it could go either way. Oh, there's not two Ts? No.

One T. That could be Fournette, Fournette. It could be Fournette. And then they're like, no, we're in Iowa. It's Fournette, motherfucker. So he beats him twice in one night, both by by submission so i don't know how else you'd win a grappling match i guess by points unless you make them fall asleep are there pinfalls i don't know how to be ways to i don't really know how professional grappling works because i mean who

the fuck does really that seems boring i mean i yeah i'm honestly everybody knows this i'm not the biggest fan of mma there's some exciting fights but in general i don't want to watch men grapple and it's not like oh it's such so latently whatever i'm not even saying that it's just boring to watch men oh he's trying to get his elbow under his elbow i'm not a wrestler so i don't care about that like if the guys are dropping fucking bombs on each other i'll watch that because i like boxing and that's an i've i've punched people and been punched i get that i don't want to grapple with anybody that's why i learned to fight when i was a kid so i don't have to fucking grapple with people if you dive at me i punch you in the face that's how it works and then you can't grapple me anymore

i always figure that out stop watching because of that because it was like listening to an announcer like talk about what the one guy can do to get into some other. I don't give a fuck. Just do it. I don't care. I don't want it. And I get that it's a technical thing and it's very skilled. I'm not taking anything away from the skill.

The skill is amazing. I can't do that. I also can't. I couldn't fucking back an 18 wheeler into a spot either. That takes a lot of skill and I don't want to fucking do that either or watch anyone do it i don't want to buy tickets to see somebody ride a unicycle yeah he's letting a little air out of the break right now he's letting a little air and someone's going to commentate on it yes it's very skillful but it's not on television and i don't know why this is either sometimes but some of the fights very exciting anyway but the grappling is

like let's take all the excitement out of it, only grappling. No chance of just a big knockout, a big exciting flurry or something. That's out. It's all out. Let's wait until we see somebody's hand do a butterfly, and then we'll get somebody else in there to do the same thing. I don't get it, man. Also in 2008, he and his girlfriend, Jessie Moses, she went to college as well. She went to a two-year school, I believe.

It was two years. Not sure when she graduated as well. So they both went to college. Yeah. And they have a daughter in 2008. So at least he can't name it Jonathan. So that's good. Yeah.

It's Leah or Lee, either one. I don't know how you say it. L-E-A-H? Yeah, it could go either way. Sometimes I've seen Lee like that, too. Have you really? Oh, yeah. You never know.

Parents are dicks. They'll name their kid that and go, you're Lee. And everyone's like, why does everyone think I'm Leah? I don't know. You're fucking Lee. I'm too dumb to spell Lee right. Not that that's what happened here. Just probably Leah.

I don't know. But that's what happens. I wanted to be unique. Well, fuck unique, Dad. Yeah. There's 12 happened i wanted to be unique well fuck unique dad yeah there's 12 marks in my class what the fuck i have to explain this shit now thanks it started with girls though girls were the ones that they that they started doing that shit with trying to be unique with little girls and then it trans then it transferred into boys for a while but poor little girls had to be like fucking paisley in a class of 11 michaels and 12 marks yeah i feel like it's because parents weren't afraid their little girls would to be like fucking Paisley in a class of 11 Michaels and 12 marks.

Yeah. I feel like it's because parents weren't afraid their little girls would get beat up for it. That's what it was. It was like, they might get made fun of. Boys, it's like, if you name them that, they're all going to beat them up. You know? Because when we were in school, that's what happened. That's brand new.

The kids don't really beat each other up over a name anymore to that extent. When we were kids, anything was a source of bullying. Anything anything you could have an aberrant pair of sneakers and that you were fucked there you were gonna get beat up for that somehow i'm so sorry brendan you know it happens i'm sure people brendan you mean brendan why am i calling you brendan what is that that doesn't even make sense i know dude's name brandon why why do you why can't you just be that why brendan what's wrong with you and then you yeah and then that's it now you're as your mother too stupid to fucking call you brandon does she have a speech impediment and it came out brendan was she drunk i call brendan it's this type of shit you would tell a kid in the fourth

grade at least i would and then you'd feel bad'd call him fetal alcohol for the next four years. That's it. Hey, check out googly brain over here. You'd be making fun of him all the way into high school. That's the problem. Nothing wrong with the kid, except for that goddamn E instead of an A. Totally fine. Nice guy. He's a junior in high school, and people are still calling him fucking fetal. What's up, fetal?

After that, they'll just shorten it to fetal after a while that's fetal and he's like water brain wb and then everybody just everybody knows so what's different nobody with a giant head called him dk mode and then we just started calling him dk and just dk was what he called forever shorten it forever that's it my poor friend shit bags who is one of the greatest guys in the world we called them shitbags forever and then just shorten it to shits after that so you'd have to explain because you'd be like yo what's up shits and people who didn't know him would be like do you just call a guy shits and then you'd be like yeah it's shitbags and they'd be like that's not any better

like yeah but you don't understand it's a thing it's a term of endearment don't worry girls would call him shits. You're not getting laid if a girl calls you shits. You know what I mean? Shits? Sticking in me shits is never going to fucking occur. It's just never happening. As if shit bags makes the story so much more clear.

That's what you'd say. Or shit bags. And then you'd be like, okay. How's that better? You don't understand. Kid's name'd be like, okay. How's that better? You don't understand. Kid's name was Dino, James. So we just called him DK Mode. I'm not calling this kid Dino.

No. You got a giant head, DK Mode it is. That's it, yeah. What's up, dino head? Poor bastard. Poor bastard. So, man. Now, this is their first baby but later on he will say he has more kids than they have together and the one he describes is a year older than this leah so oh

john he must have had a baby with somebody else with like in the couple years maybe while they were at college i don't know if like there was a break or something something happened yeah yeah we don't fucking know what happens with people but he had a kid in there somewhere according to him anyway would it surprise you if the man that married the girl from high school had a break with her at some point at some point especially during college like hey listen i know uh you know i just let's just take a couple weeks for ourselves you know how that goes and i'm an athlete yeah chicks are trying to fuck me maybe we should just take a break for a little bit my cock pops in these spandex you know what i'm saying anybody that shows up there's a scorekeeper chick that i'm just we've been given vibes back and forth and i'm just trying to trying to do this so april 12 2008 is his first mma fight

and it's uh ffp which is full force productions which sounds just very like you're gonna get plowed right in the ass with that yeah uh untamed 20 which sounds like a porn full force productions presents untamed 20 and they show sweaty men grappling i'd be like that's not that one's not for me i don't want that one it was there was the next video 20 a dude that can take 20 dudes full force productions that sounds like large cocked men are lined up waiting to give the business here we could do that as a bonus james where we just talk you just give me names of of uh ufc productions oh we could talk ufc production or ufc production let's go that would be funny as, we could talk UFC productions. Porno or UFC production. Let's go.

That would be funny as shit. We could do that. Porno or MMA, whatever, some low-level MMA production. I think they want people, back then especially, they wanted people to mistake them so they would buy it on pay-per-view. They'd have their cock out and they're like,

what the fuck is this? Well, I mean... They're grinding same audience they're grinding so uh this is in foxborough massachusetts he fights brad bernard who comes into this fight with a spiffy oh and one record just ready to get it on and his whole career he'll have an oh and two record so this will be his last fight. John just makes him decide retirement is the best option. Dismisses him. He wins by TKO with punches in a minute and 32 seconds.

So he just pummeled the shit out of this man. Which is amazing. All he's done is wrestling. And he just comes in and knocks the shit out of somebody immediately. Yeah, just skips that whole thing that he's just been training for this whole time. I've been wanting to punch somebody so fucking bad. Every time I get someone in an arm lock, I just want to jab them behind the ear.

You ever get that want? You just want to rabbit punch them right behind the ear until the referee stops it, you know? Every time we start, I always think, you know, it'd be a lot easier to submit this motherfucker if I could just punch him right in the face. If I could punch him in the face and then choke him, I think that'd be easier. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia.

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The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Bing! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything.

I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her?

Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him? Yes, Your Honor You married his cousin His brother That's not him Yes, ma'am I would make a beeline for the door The Emmy Award winning series returns How did I know that?

I have a crystal ball in my head It's an all new season It's streaming, you can say anything Judy Justice Only on Freebie. I think I could probably do a better job in wrestling with that. This wrestling is stupid. I should be able to punch the fuck out of this guy.

This is ridiculous. So he's 1-0, sorry. April 19th, a week later, he's fighting again for a different organization. and oh sorry april 19th a week later he's fighting again for a different organization this is uh april 19 2008 for bcx4 which again and the word x it's even got x in there battle cage extreme xt extreme four it's an atlantic city yeah oh boy uh versus carlos eduardo there you go. Carlos. That's what I thought, too. I'm like, Carlos Eduardo.

That sounds made up. That sounds like some white dude in the 60s needed to, like, make up a Spanish alias. And he's like, I'm Carlos Eduardo. Yeah, Carlos Eduardo. Write that down. That's my name. Carlos Eduardo. That's the Spanish of John Scott. scott yeah yeah it's very there we go so one and one he comes in uh ends up having an 18 and nine career so you know i think he's

still going too so that's not terrible he just starts off a little rough and he this doesn't this contributes to it being knocked out in the third round with punches from John Jones here. John's 2-0. April 25, 2008. This is Ice Fighter. Ice is International Combat Entertainment. Don't like that. No. Ice Fighter. It's at the Crown Plaza in Worcester, Mass.

Oh, boy. Yes. That's exciting stuff right there. You can feel the electricity. The electricity in the air, all the Muhammad Ali fights that took place here, and, you know obviously at the crown plaza in worcester or the irish catholic racist insults that are screaming from the crowd fucking worcester mass you both quiz that's what they're yelling from the crowd in worcester mass Mass. So this is versus Anthony Pena. This is his career debut.

Oh. He's ready to make a go of it and have a long, fruitful, successful MMA career. And it doesn't really happen, though, as this is his only fight, and he is choked out with a guillotine choke at 115 in the first round. That's a tough one.

Yeah, this man's career lasted a minute and 15 seconds and he's like i don't like being choked i'm gonna not do that again that was rough that guillotine it is it's like it's the most barbaric aggressive thing to watch it's crazy you're like oh my god there's no is he gonna you could fuck it seems like you could pop somebody's head off their shoulders yeah we that murderers use that tool. Oh, all the time. We describe it on Small Town Murder every week. Well, not that particular one, but it happens all the time. Yeah, it's that's very aggressive.

And then the footage of Joe's son being pummeled in the nutsack is also that's legal, too. That was the he gave up from pump nutsack shots. The guy just hit him in the dick 30 times until he gave up. That's wild, man. The guillotine is where you put the hand like in the forearm, Crick, and you just fucking pull. It's a sleeper hold. I don't know how anybody hasn't died from that. Chin lock.

It's incredible. Yeah. It's like a wrestling chin lock, but real. Right. And these guys are much more ripped than police are. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.

And these guys are much more ripped than police are. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the guys that are wrestling, too, also are trained. They get choked out five times a week, these guys, in practice, probably. But I'm unconscious on a daily basis. Absolutely. My brain rarely has enough oxygen to function. I'm going to tell you right now.

To keep me and my eyes alert. It's very, very rare that I have for a whole day enough oxygen. So he's 3-0. Next up, May 9th, 2008, USFL, which, wow, you're using that name? No, United States Fight League. Fuck you. You know what you're doing. That's stupid.

That's used already, assholes. And, you know, to a piss-poor effect, but still, it's used. USFL. That's used already, assholes, and, you know, to a piss-poor effect, but still, it's used. Enough people who know about it, you think you're going to successfully do it and be like, we're the first? Yeah, no. Well, I guess kids wouldn't know at the time. So, USFL War in the Woods, this is called. War in the Woods, not because it takes place deep in the woods, because it's at the Foxwoods Resort and Casino. So, it's the war at the woods, which is in the woods. it's at the foxwoods resort and casino so it's the war at

the woods which is oh you motherfuckers just foxwoods uh versus ryan verrett here uh one and three coming in and he'll finish his career three and four this fight uh lasts 14 seconds so that's very fast it's a knockout with punches for john in 14 seconds, which is start, okay, I look at you, pop, pop, you fall down, the fight's over. That's the whole game. James, from you saying lasted 14 seconds to just three seconds ago, that was 14 seconds. That's what I mean. That's all a fight. Knocked a man out.

That's the fastest fight ever. Knocked a man. He didn't quit after that fight. He kept fighting. He won a couple after this, too. That's amazing. And then he quit. He was like, after that fight. He kept fighting. He won a couple after this, too. That's amazing. And then he quit. He was like, still, though.

What am I going to do? 14 seconds. 14 seconds, you lose. You got to figure that. That could be a fluke. Maybe I just didn't see him coming. So John's 4-0. June 20, 2008 is the WCF3, World Championship Fighting 3.

This is in Wilmington, Massachusetts at the Aleppo Shriners Auditorium, where all dreams come true, obviously. Everyone knows that. Aleppo. Versus Parker Porter, which just makes me think of Parker Posey. So that really fucks me all up, too. Now, he weighs 262 pounds. So he's got more like parker portland parker pudgy is what i was going with i like parker portland better yeah i love it it's a big fat fuck jesus jesus

christ dude fucking parker with your fat ass 262 He's 2-0 coming into the fight. 11-16 for his career. This fight, round one, 36 seconds at last. Wow. So I don't know if he was just too heavy to go on any further and lost his breath or if he got knocked out. But it's a knockout with a punch. It's classified as. Parker Portley.

Somebody calls him that, right? Parker Portley. Parker Portley. I would hope so. Unfortunately, someone probably called Parker Posey that at some point in her life when she was like seven years old. She was like, fuck you. You son of a bitch. You know what happened.

You can't do that. That's bullying. Yeah, exactly. Parker Porterhouse never got bullied, I'm sure. That's why he grew so large and learned to fight. I'm tired of people fucking with me about my name. But John can say whatever he wants about it, because he knocks them out in less than a minute. 5-0 for John.

Next up, he's back at Battle Cage Extreme. Battle Cage Extreme. Battle Cage Extreme 5. Yes. Oh, boy. Was he just in 4? I think he was in 4. Yes. Oh. Oh, boy. Was he just in 4? I think he was in 4, yeah. This is in Atlantic City.

He fights Moises, M-O-Y-S-E-S. Moises the Savage Gabin, G-A-B-I-N. Okay. What a crazy name. He is 2-1 coming in, 5-5 for his career. And this fight actually goes to the second round. So, good for him. John knocks him out with this fight actually goes to the second round. So good for him. John knocks him out with TKO with punches in the second round.

But he got to the second round, so good job. He's 6-0 at this point and ready to join a larger organization. Oh, boy. Gone through the minors, and what he ends up doing is he signed to a UFC contract to replace a fighter who had to pull out a month before a fight who was it it was uh tomas what the fuck draw dr w al that's just nope my fucking brain exploded when i saw that that doesn't work draval i'm gonna say because w is is he german his but his first name is t-o-m-a-s-z so i don't know where the hell this guy is from yeah so i said tomas drivel i don't know what the fuck is

is he from like kazakhstan or something i have no idea a single vowel in that last name an a d-r-w-a-l oh w-a-l yeah it's just r-w-l i was like that's not that you can't do that now this guy was 14 and 2 and he had to pull out of a fight here against um who the hell is he fighting here we'll find out oh andre guzma guzma who was 5 and 0 coming into the fight so he's an up-and-comer he's fighting kind of a veteran there and the veteran has to pull out of the fight. So they have to find somebody. So they find this guy who's some young buddy that nobody knows who the hell

he is. John's a giant underdog in this fight because no one knows who he is. And this guy's five and O and they know people know who he is and they're ready to go. So this is St. Pierre versus Fitch is the headlining match awesome yeah good match it's at the target center in minneapolis it's on pay-per-view so it couldn't be any more pressure here uh their fight though jones's fight is on the unaired preliminary card so this is just

like an opener for the crowd i was just about to tell you i probably watched this because i watched every saint pierre i loved that man yeah no he you wouldn't have seen it though definitely not maybe they would have shown a highlight later or something but i don't know you never know he's only 20 at this point still it doesn't have his birthday yet so he's 20 since 2007 yeah he or 2008 so he's just he's just known as a you know good high school wrestler and a grappler and stuff like that. Nobody really knows much about him because he's a new guy. He only has a few fights. And so, yeah, they're saying the other guy is the up-and-comer, and he's just kind of there to get beat.

All the stories beforehand. Like, they put this guy in here. That's disappointing. We wanted to see Gus Mayo have a test, and now they're put this guy in here that's disappointing we wanted to see gosmayo have a test and now they're using this guy so we'll have to knock this guy out then maybe we'll get a text a test next time was basically what they were saying well august 9 2008 ufc 87 seek and destroy oh god vince mcmahon's like why didn't i think of that oh wait i probably did call a pay-per-view that at some point in time i had a wrestler called that seek and destroy i had a tag team named that you're seek and you're destroy let's go put these overalls on and meet me in the ring let's go

come when you're called let's go. Shirts off. Overalls on, fellas. Come when you're called because I will. I will. I'll be coming every time you're called. So, like I said, Target Center, Minneapolis. So, big-ass building. Here we go. This fight goes all three rounds.

Yeah. But John wins a unanimous decision. Really? He kind of dominated the fight, and he's seven and oh now nobody expected it it was like where the fuck did that come from how'd that happen here uh there's an article afterwards it says not much was expected of unheralded 21 year old john jones which is like wow he's nothing. Late replacement. He was regarded as little more than a sacrificial lamb for a highly doubted prospect. Jesus Christ. Jones says, quote, the wind meant a lot to me. It showed me that I can do this.

A lot of people doubted me. They said John's tough, but he hasn't fought anybody. Now they can't say that. Yeah, but he was preaching to Gus Mayo because James said the word lamb is in the Bible. Yeah, sacrificial. Yeah, it's a sacrifice. Every fight we have to figure out what the biblical angle on this is. What's he playing?

What's he playing? How's he going to preach? Because there's a lamb. Now they can't say that. I believe in the Bible it says to smite your enemies with snarky fucking uh declarations of victory right i believe that's in the bible i think so i think it's turn the turn the other cheek and then smite your enemies with snarky declarations of victory is the next phrase testament they had to delete it because it was uh too much aggressive yeah it got less jesus it, I think. So, yeah, he had, I guess they said that he looked kind of tentative in the first round, which makes sense.

He didn't know what the fuck he was doing. He was there. He says, quote, wasn't nervous at all. I was just a little unprepared, though. Usually before my fights, I'm in a zone. My body and mind is one unit. I'm ready to go. My reactions are quick.

I've got a great sweat going. My lungs are open. But in this fight, I'm fighting against a Gracie guy, and I've got Silva hanging out in my locker room. Matt Serra's in my locker room hanging out. Renzo Gracie's walking in and out of my locker room. There's all these cameras in my face. I just couldn't really get in my groove.

Why? It's like a nervous team in the Super Bowl. He's just's just like wow this is way more than i'm used to normally 2008 those are the biggest names in the ufc that's incredible yeah it's he's out of the ufc pay-per-view so there's just these guys are wandering around he's normally he's at one of these battle cage extremes and he can sit in the back and no one will fucking bother him he can probably fall asleep back there so he said it was a lot a lot different he said i wasn't as focused as i was at a small as if i was at a smaller show so when i went out there i wasn't all that nervous either i kind of had cold feet i didn't get the mental game together before i came out there so it took

me a while to get comfortable the more i landed punches and the more i avoided his attacks my creation my creative juices got flowing my comfort got flowing so any juices flowing is always gross that's flowing juices and well and on man fight and that's when i started opening up a bit oh because his juices are flowing that makes me it's really violating out there it's that's what i mean it's very uncomfortable he's he's at six centimeters everybody watch out it's getting fucking crazy here he's he's presenting by round two he's presenting everybody's at six centimeters be careful watch out he said it's something's flowing i don't want to deal with it there's juices

it's disgusting so uh yeah once he began to get his strikes involved, that's when he started to win the fight and dominate the fight and not let this guy really do anything. And he said it was frustrating. Quote, it was definitely frustrating to me. The first knee to the groin was legit. I definitely need him in the groin. It was a total accident because he got called for a couple of knees in the groin. He said, I'm a lot taller than most of my opponents, which makes sense. Most of them are thicker fire pluggy guys that are 5'7", and he's 5'9", and he's 6'4".

He says, when I throw a knee, it usually lands to my opponent's face or chest. Him being a tall guy, I kind of caught him a little low. It was a total accident, which that makes sense. He took enough time and got to catch his breath. All the rest of the knees, I think, was just he was just acting a little bit, trying to get the crowd and the judges on his side. I have no respect for that. Okay. Yeah.

He said that the other guys got an illegal knee on him, too. And he said, I definitely remember that moment. I definitely felt the knee. But you're in a fight. I felt the knee. It was a legit knee, but it wasn't enough to drop me. So you fight through it.

Some guys don't have that mental edge. So he's like, my balls are tougher than your balls. Kick me straight in them sometimes. Yeah. I've, I, that's my focus.

That's my laser sharp focus is nutsack pain. Doesn't even creep into my brain. Whereas you, you're just a weakling who's felled by a mere knee to the nutsack like at full force from a giant grown man pussy among us can be can be vanquished with a knee to the nuts that's that full-on full-on knee to the nutsack from a professional who knows how to throw knees to your nutsack a quote-unquote legit knee jesus it was a legit knee he says um i fought a guy who's five and oh and it showed me a lot it shows me showed me that i can do this and that i belong in the ufc so he uh he also says that uh

quentin rampage jackson contacted him his did, after the fight and wanted to train with him. So, I don't know there. He said they exchanged information. He's a bad man, James. Yeah. Yeah, he is. We know that. I know that Quinton and Congo want to fly me out to their gym to give me a different look as far as workout

partners. Wow. So, I'm excited about that. I get to work with one of the best 205 pounders in the game. I'm sure that's going to help me out a lot. And that happened after his first fight? First fight. They liked what they saw of the guy because the other guy was the contender. And this guy, nobody expected shit from him

and he won. And they liked his style too. They were like, holy shit, this guy can fucking go. This is pretty impressive. You see him throwing all of his strikes and then you're like, this dude's like a wrestling champion too. Like, wow, he's got it.

He could just put those together. So, uh, he says, I'm sure there'll be lots more cases of me being the underdog. Nope, not really, but I definitely think I earned the respect of the UFC with the performance I put on.

Anyone who watches that fight knows that when it comes to stand up, they don't know what to expect. Well, that's true in every aspect, really in fighting and in comedy i think it's going to be hard to train a for a fighter like me especially when i get my jujitsu a little bit stronger that's what he needs more disciplines you know to get into i definitely think i have a lot more underdog fights to come especially with me being so young being so new new to the game. But I definitely know that even though I'm going to be the underdog, I'll be the respected

underdog. So, yeah, he's only been fighting like five months. Totally. That's just incredible. Absolutely crazy. He said, I'm ready to step into UFC 88 or 89. I'm ready to get in there in there right away. I love staying in my groove.

I don't really like to take too much time off i'm hungry to fight more especially they throw or hopefully they throw me back in there as soon as possible in 2008 they were at number 88 or whatever yeah it's been 12 years they're like ufc 532 oh yeah yeah 5320 i think they are right now it It's a lot. They are fighting a lot. They're fighting a lot. Yeah, they really just, at this point, just stop numbering them. Give them all events that happen every year like the WWE does. Have one be like, you know, where they have WrestleMania, Rumble, Survivor Series. Do it like that. I think that's more interesting.

He's doing it like podcast episodes. Yeah. So he knows where he's at. And at about 100, they stopped giving him names and just put the headlining card. It would be UFC 150 Asshole vs. Shitwipe. And it would be, you know, we'll see who wins. We'll see if one cleans the other. Boxing never did that shit.

You know what I mean? Well, they're not one organization. That's why. They're spot fights. That's all separate promoters and promotions. That's a whole different thing. But the world champion, you know what I mean? This is like UFC. Belt holder.

Yeah, but it's not of like the organization that gives the belt isn't the promoter. That's the thing. They're different things completely, whereas this is like WWE. It's self-contained. There's no teams. There's no teams. There's no anybody it's all under one roof so that's why i've always said a lot of these i believe are probably fixed because

why the fuck would dana white not fix it he owns it all he owns all the guys you know what i mean like why would you let it happen naturally that's not that much money hanging out yeah well that's how wrestling started as we always talk about they it was legit and guys used to grapple for three and a half fucking hours at a carnival and then they said what if we did a couple of things that were more entertaining and it ended in a tie in the first time people might pay more to see it again right fuck yeah that's how it happened it was we'll still beat each other up but we know what the ending is going to be and i think that's kind of what happens here not all the time but i think there's a fight here and there where he's like okay this is the one i need i honestly believe that so um you never know here's a comment from somebody on an mma

message board from august 16 2008 oh god i love meatheads that are yeah not saying all people who like mma are meatheads at all but there are some serious like that's where the meatheads go, which must be really annoying for like people who aren't meatheads who are fans. You're going to be like, oh, for Christ's sake, this fucking moron. Guys that don't hit their wives. Yeah. It's the same thing if you were a wrestling fan back in the day. There's a lot of you're like, oh, these fucking hillbillies. You know, I'm looking at it in a different light.

I'm smarter than them. You think this guy says, I think people are putting way too much capital letters into this fighter. I saw the fight and it wasn't spectacular. I hate people who fake getting hit. But Gus Mayo was repeatedly getting hit in the nuggets. In the nuggets. I think that's what actually lost him the fight. Sad to say the first low blow after Jones knew he low blowed him.

He followed up with another almost low blow knee, then four strikes to the head. Almost. And four strikes to the head sounds like a good move. And then punching a man four times in that. He said low blowed him. Is that low blow? Low blue low blue that man i don't think you want to say low blue i don't think he wanted to say blue that was from his knees there yeah he said delete delete oh shit if you counted those as clean hits that's the only reason jones

would have won the first round his attacks people thought were exciting it was like watching a 10 year old on a sugar rush he kept throwing these spinning back elbows, hoping to cut open, goes Mayo. And every time he threw it, his accuracy was way off, always missing. Or by the time he connected, he'd hit his shoulder into the man's body. I actually think because Mayo was penalized and lost the fight because he kept complaining legitimately about getting low blowed. Jones may have caught a glancing low blow, which I doubt, but that was only after delivering two of his own right before.

This man hates him. Hates him. Yeah. And smells like the buckle in the mall. The buckle, you think? Yeah. It smells like the buckle or possibly a Tilly's or one of those like off brands that still sells no fear.

See, I was thinking he smelled like the back, like behind the counter in a fucking the pretzel place. What the hell is it called? Like a Wetzel's pretzel. Like really stinks. Like there's like sourdough and yeast on him. You know what I mean? He gets out in the sun and it kind of activates and you're just like yeah what is that cover that james uh with a

shitload of abercrombie that's what those dudes wear it's fucking hilarious jesus christ the softest dudes that go to this shit that talk about i'll fuck you up bro you smell fruity sir calm down you smell very fruit by the way i don't know why you put that on because there's no girls here, you fucking dipshit. Get the jewels off of your shirt. Jesus Christ. Especially in 2009. Yeah.

At this time, it was crazy. Bejeweled. If you put a big spotlight across the crowd, it would just sparkle. And they did. Oh, yeah. Looking like Ric Flair's robe the whole place. And the crowd would just glisten. Glistening with affliction.

It was fucking terrible. So January 2009, he is cited for hitting another vehicle while attempting to make a turn. And apparently he was unsafely passing because he's cited for unsafe passing. That's all I can imagine here. That's what he was doing. That's pretty funny. I mean, I don't know. He's in I can imagine here. That's what he was doing. That's pretty funny. I mean, I don't know. He's in Ithaca, New York

when that happens. So he's, you know, in the home area and does that. January 31st, 2009. That's not a real big crime, though. That's just, he fucked up.

He's not a caper. Not a caper. He is in UFC 94, which now they've dropped the names. Maybe Seek and Destroy was the old fucking straw that broke the camel's back. And they're like, we can't keep calling shit this anymore. Right. Seek and Destroy.

We waited like 88 fucking events to call something that. That was one of our first ideas. It's on the chalkboard still in the main office. So we've used up all the Steven Seagal movie titles. So let's just drop them. They really did they had out for justice i believe was one of them and under siege was under siege was a big one there um oh no it's huge yeah no fuck i'm thinking of the one what is that fucking movie he did

he's on the train i think that's i think that's above the law i don't know no he did a movie where he was like trying to be funny and I can't remember what it was. No! What? Yeah, it was like an action movie where he was trying to be funny, too, and it was so fucking bad that it wasn't... I don't even think it was in the theaters. I think it was one of those direct to... I don't know where I saw it, but it was bad. But you're damn right there was some cooking in it, too.

Oh, absolutely. He's always got to cook and punch somebody in the face and he can't move his neck he looks at everybody like this watch he goes let me tell you something right now and he looks like over the back of his shoulder and you're like can you turn is that all right you're not an owl man just turn neck messed up bro so this is saint pierre versus penn he fights steven the American Psycho Bonner. The man calls himself the American Psycho, which I feel like could fit most of these guys. Probably that'll work.

Have we not talked about him before? It feels like he feels familiar. I don't know if we've talked about the American Psycho before. I mean, we must have, I guess, if we've talked about MMA. But anyway, he's 12 and 4 coming into the fight, 15-9 for his career. This fight goes all three rounds again. But he wins in a unanimous decision. So I can't tell.

You know who else won that night, James? George St. Pierre beat BJ Penn. Oh, did you? Yeah. I guess so. You probably watched that since you said you watched all the fights, which you probably saw this fight then. All right. There you go.

You've seen this fight. 8-0 for john july 11th 2009 here six months later about ufc 100 all right this is brock lesnar is involved in this one okay lesnar versus mere two yeah frank mere yeah mere two is it mandalay bay here that's a big one he fights jake Jake O'Brien. I don't know who that is, but I don't know. I assume there's a shamrock somewhere on him. I guarantee somewhere a tattoo or on his shorts or somewhere is a fucking shamrock. I guarantee it. He's 11-2 coming into this fight. 15-4 for his career.

So no joke, this guy. This goes into the second round, two minutes and 43 seconds. John beats him with a submission. Guillotine chokes him. So it's a real guy. Not bad. Now he's 9-0. He's starting to look like no shit contender here.

I think Muir won that fight, too. You think so? Versus Lesnar? I think so. Really? Yeah. I think he beat Brock Lesnar. Frank Muir is a bloody son of a bitch.

He just bleeds for no reason. One of those guys. Those guys are bleeders. It's just scar tissue from previous ones. Yeah. It's like J.J. Watt with his perpetually broken nose. Frank Mir just shows up bloody. You ever seen Abdul the Butcher's head?

Yeah. You could just touch his head and blood will pour. That's how it was. He didn't even have to blade when he was going because it was so much scar tissue. He'd just touch it and he knew where to hit it and it would bleed. Yeah, like a 92-year-old lady who bleeds on the shower curtain. Yeah, always. Well, I must have wiped my arm on a towel and it really scraped me up good there.

You're like, how thin is your skin, lady? Are you just dissolving? You're not even dying. You're just dissolving. One day I'm going to come in and you're just going to be like veins and arteries and you're going to fall down. Just melting. Just bleeding. You're just dissolving.

Your skin's dissolving like paper, like rice paper. Your forearm bleeds. Rice paper skin. What's going on here? Jesus. Also, they have another daughter around this time. Really? Names it after his sister who passed away, Carmen.

So that's nice. That's nice. That's a very nice tribute, I think, there. December 5th, 2009, at the Palms Casino. It is UFC The Ultimate Fight Finale 10. Okay. I guess it's a TV show. It's a show, yeah.

Yeah. So he fights Matt the hammer hamill here and he is seven and two coming in 13 and eight for his career this fight round one four minutes and 14 seconds uh john is disqualified oh for illegal elbows to the nuts i don't know where the fuck they were but enough where they actually they must have warned him about it first you don't just disqualify someone he probably had warnings and then you know there's several steps before you dq somebody still throwing them uh still throwing them this is his only loss of his career and it's not even a loss he was kicking the shit

out of the guy he just happened to throw some illegal elbows so i mean he wasn't losing which is it's crazy yeah nine and one now he is and that pissed him off good i'm sure you might think here march 21st 2010 ufc live one a new series i guess here vera versus jones this is at the first bank center in broomfield colorado is that a denver suburb uh i believe is, but yes, it has to be. Where the fuck else in Colorado? What other metropolitan area in Colorado would have a center, really? There's no other population center. Colorado Springs has some stuff down there, but it's, I imagine, Broomfield is in Denver.

Yeah, not a 15,000-seat arena. Oh, maybe, because they've got the uh uh olympic training center down there okay that makes sense there's some big arenas there but like the fucking broadmoor but it's all well and maybe maybe at the broadmoor but this isn't the broadmoor there's only one like major metropolitan area in colorado more or less yeah yeah because i mean it's pretty close to it yeah they're all pretty close to each other because most of them is untraversable mountains so i mean you're not gonna have a fucking you know a 7 000 foot elevation and a peak somewhere just some random town watch out don't fall metropolis off the side of a cliff off the side of a mountain it's yeah there's no flat a lot of flat area there so

kind of tough here he fights brandon the truth vera which we found out what happened to carl the truth williams and mike tyson fought him so the name isn't always true uh he's 11 and 4 coming in this fight lasts 3 minutes and 19 seconds as john tko's him with elbows and punches wow most of rain blows upon him which is always nice to watch 10 and 1 for john so there we go next up is what dana white says is a good challenge for him he says that if he beats this guy he's telling jones he's going to have a big step up in competition he's going to really be in the main you know in the main scene now. He fights Vladimir Matyshenko. Is that right?

Matyshenko? So this is like 2011? 2010. August 1st, 2010. I'm about to get into comedy pretty heavy right here. Yeah, and stop going and watching these. I'm going to walk away from this shit. So his nickname, Jimmy?

Yeah. Vladimir the Janitor matashenko wow that's really that's vladimir the garbage man matashenko vladimir the starbucks barista matashenko vladimir the hvac guy like vladimir the concrete finisher coming through that's it all fine careers all fine careers but not your your bragging nickname usually probably maybe it's just he's from i guess it yeah i guess because he cleans up i guess maybe he's just from another country and thought that was like a badass thing like oh you clean up like janitor yes and they they're gonna be very afraid then people are like you're a janitor like for real do you like work at like a community college or something like what are you doing is that why you're you had access to a gym at night when you were doing this and now you're a fighter is that your story this guy's 27 and 8 for his career so great fighter no joke here this fight only lasts a minute 52

seconds though this is the big test and john tko's him with elbows with the quickness wow he's got some strong elbows legal elbows yeah he's 11 and one right now and following the match uh dana white said vladimir madyshenko is a guy who i have a lot of respect for and i didn't think it was going to happen that easy j Jones is the real deal and he just catapulted himself tonight into the top eight in the world. Damn. Tonight solidified it. He's got to keep his head together, stay

focused, and keep doing all the right things in training. He's smart, good looking, and badass. He's going to make a lot of money. This kid is going to do very well. Yeah. Is what he says here. He is vince mcmahon of us he idolizes so turned on you he can say he doesn't i don't know if he does or not but he can say he doesn't but he models himself a thousand percent like he's a vince mcmahon clone it's

ridiculous he just said this guy's got three qualities that matter nothing in this ring smart good looking and, and what? And badass. I guess badass matters, but still, he's going to make a lot of money. That's what they would say about a wrestler. Smart, good-looking, badass. He's going to make a lot of money. That's what Vince says. You're going to make a lot of money, pal.

That's what he would tell somebody. He's told people that. February 5th, 2011, UFC 126. Silva versus Belfort. This is. He fights Ryan Darth Bader. 5th 2011 ufc 126 silva versus belfort this is he fights ryan darth bader oh yeah ryan bader's great he's a good fighter yeah that's just a really annoying name and um which is good because i guess if you want to punch somebody to hear that announced would really make you want to punch him wouldn't you be like i am gonna fucking punch that guy so hard when he gets out here he has no idea that fucking name he's not even gonna know why but i'm gonna punch him like he fucking punched my mother he's getting beat down record eventually it was overall well i

don't know it's 12 and 0 coming into this fight though so damn fine and taylor swift is soaring high her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show Business Wars. We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time. And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL.

Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the amazon music or wondery app but this fight goes to the second round four minutes and 20 seconds into that submission win for john here with a guillotine choke handing darth his first loss at 12 and 1 here now march 19th 2011 this is a crazy fucking day. Okay. All together. And it's all good for him, which is the craziest part of it. He's fighting that night for the UFC light heavyweight championship. What day is this?

This is March 19th, 2011. Okay. All right. Fighting for the championship, UFC light heavyweight championship versus Mauricio Shogun Rua, who's 27 and 12 for his career now. So he's got a big fucking night. This is his big chance on the way to the fight during the day. He went to meditate first. Okay.

He was going to meditate to do his thing because he figured out. Remember, he said he couldn't get his head together because people are coming in and out cameras. He figured out he's got to do that before he gets to the arena now, which is smart. You know, OK, I can't get in my flow back there because people are going to be up in my shit. So got to do it. So on the way to meditate before the fights, calm him down for the fight. Nice and good. Nice and easy there.

He's en route to Great Falls Historic Park in Patterson, New Jersey, where he planned to meditate several hours ahead of his fight and then he was going to go to the fight and fight so he's with uh mike winklejohn who's one of his coaches and greg jackson another one of his coaches so the driver pulls up to drop them off they have somebody driving them a fucking uber or cab i guess it would be a cab back then i don't know a hired car whatever the fuck i guess ufc would probably bring the fighter there maybe hire a car for also meditating several hours that's called a nap sir it really i'm gonna take a nap in the park meditating several hours or hobo fantasy camp what do you say which one if he starts eating beans right out of the can i'd say we know the answer to that does he have a bindle that's the main question

you're not going to survive out there without a bindle you know you're just not you're not going to get shit done those are pockets inside out yeah so he's with his coach and this greg jackson guy and as they're starting to get ready to pull off to the side here, Jones sees an elderly couple screaming for help. Oh. Okay. The woman yells to Winklejohn that a man had smashed her car window and had just run off with her GPS. Remember when GPS was, like, stuck to your window? Yeah.

Like a Garmin or something, a TomTom, one of those. Yeah. So they took it. They were expensive, a couple hundred bucks back then. Fuck yeah, they were. Jones and the two coaches fucking chased the guy. This guy thought, easy mark, here's an elderly couple. Oh no, here's the future light heavyweight champion of the world

and two of the guys who helped him get that way. Right. Shit, this is the worst. It went from best to worst. They'd rather cops were there probably than this. This isn't going to work out well. A UFC fighter is chasing me through the woods. Chased him down, tackled him, and held him down until the cops arrived.

I don't know if he put him in a guillotine choke or what the fuck he did to him. He certainly, yeah. He used something. Now you do the elbows to the groin and the knees. This is the time. Knees to the groin. Throw all the illegal elbows you want. Right.

Get them all out. The day of his fight, he had a fight? This is fun. Yeah. This was to go to relax, to meditate. He was pulling off. It's fucking wild, man. What a day.

He said, so while we were at the park today, a crackhead smashed this old lady's car window and took off running with her GPS just as we pull just as we were pulling up right away. Coach Winklejohn goes after this guy without hesitation. Coach Jackson went after him. I was shocked and stood there for a second. Then I threw my phone down and went with my coaches. Before you know it, we were sprinting up a steep hill chasing after him. He said, quote, I turned the jets on.

We caught the guy. We got the lady's GPS back. It feels so good to help others. Gives me power and energy. Incredible. That's insane. I hope as much as meditating does because you didn't meditate. Then you had to do a police report.

Yeah. The driver even snapped a picture of Jones and and his trainers fucking you know holding the guy down and shit like here he is we got him it's a good facebook picture that's a great one that's your profile right there at least your at least your banner picture on like twitter or something you gotta have that and here's me getting an old lady's fucking gps back this is some heroic shit it's awesome it's the most heroic thing he ever did or does in his entire life from now on so and he let he let the guy have a head start he said i stood there for a minute and then i dropped my shit and went and he's like all right i guess i'll go choke him jesus christ why not

three guys who can kick your ass all chasing you down is rough that's a lot can't even pick one of them to fight so ufc 128 is the as the event here for the ufc light heavyweight championship 27 and 12 is shogun rua coming into this fight this fight goes into the third round where john ends up tkoing or getting a tko against rua here with punches and knees awesome so he's 13 and one and he is the champion of the light heavyweight mma world unbelievable not only that he's a fucking hero in one day he's a front page boy scout hero saving an old lady's property from her from a crackhead and then goes and wins a title i don't think there's any better time to say it. Grace.

This is Grace. This is Grace's fuck right here, man. Wow. That is a solid day. And it took him only, what, two years to become champion? Yeah, barely anything. From start to champion. I think it was like seven fights.

Unbelievable. And he goes from no one knows who I am to I'm the champion. That's unbelievable. So good for him. Seven fights. Unbelievable. And he goes from no one knows who I am to I'm the champion. That's unbelievable. So good for him. September 24, 2011, it's UFC 135. This time he's fighting Quentin Rampage Jackson. Really?

I'm going to train with a little here. 38 and 14 this guy is for his career. So he has fought a lot. This fight goes all the way to the fourth round where John wins a submission uh win with a rear naked choke on the big man there so so rampage is a like i don't mean like bad as in like great fight james he's a terrible person i've heard bad things about him he's a very bad man i think he's on our list i believe so i hope so i think that's a possibility to hear about it we'll find out well you never know so november 2011 he is cited essentially for drifting without a license he drifting in his car like fucking fast and the furious like fast and furious drifting on the road by the way while he has no driver's license which if you're driving with a suspended license, 10 and two stop at the stop signs, go to speed limit five over.

Maybe that's it. Stay out of everybody's trouble. He's like, I don't want to draw attention to myself, but let me fucking drift through the fucking lane and no one will notice that. He breaks slide down Main Street out of your fucking mind. Yeah. What is wrong with you in Albubuquerque, of all places. Are you shitting me? By the way, not only in Albuquerque, he did

it into a parking lot, Fast and Furious style. Wow. What kind of parking lot, Jimmy? I'll give you one guess. A Wendy's. Nope, a strip club. That's how you enter the strip club, by drifting into the fucking parking lot. I'm the champ!

Holding the belt out the window like, what the fuck are you doing? That is incredible. No license. Not a license to speak of here. Suspended as fuck. So that's pretty goddamn dumb. His car is towed as well. Of course. They show up to give him a ticket.

And he's like, I have no license. And like, well, stupid, you can't drive home then. So off with your car, dummy. So that's not that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my life. Honestly, that's. Yeah. Well, you don't have a lot. You don't draw attention. You can't scream.

You literally can't draw more attention to yourself than drifting into a fucking strip club parking lot. That's the most attention. Into a building with lights and neon and a fucking 12-foot-high woman on it and, like, a crazy name like, you know, Tits R Us or something and flashing. No one will notice this. Some incendiary. Just grab your attention. Neon tits on the side of the building, and he's drifting through the parking lot. Smoke everywhere, mind you.

Tires smoke when they spin like that. Loud as fuck. Yes. Maybe the place was called Wendy's. You might have been right. I'm not sure. I hope it was. I hope it was.

Could you? I mean, if you were named Wendy and you wanted to have a strip club, could you just call it Wendy's? I wonder if you can. Probably can. I don't think you can call anywhere that sells food probably Wendy's. Even if you can't sell food. Yeah. You definitely can't use a red-haired, pigtailed fucking logo probably, I assume.

With like just more propped up titties yeah that's got yeah like blue and white shirt wendy at 22 you know what i mean like i don't think that's allowed probably that's can't be it that would be something right there there's probably some sort of parody porn for that too maybe yeah but is it is it trademarked where you can't do that who the fuck knows probably yeah it's a fucking wendy's it's a giant thing they must be trademarked where you can't do that? Who the fuck knows? Probably. Yeah, it's a fucking Wendy's. It's a giant thing. It must be trademarked. Otherwise, there'd be a million burger places.

I'm Wendy's, too. Sure. Why not? We got the beef, too. Come on through. I got the beef. Bring it in here. My big old titties.

Come on in, gentlemen. Yeah, that's me on the sign. So he does that. December 10, 2011. Again, this isn't like anything huge. This isn't that you're this isn't you're gonna get suspended from ufc for driving like an idiot he didn't kill anybody so no not like he like ran over a fucking pregnant lady and her dog or something it's pretty simple right but that's

just because the pregnant lady and the dog weren't there i mean how he would if they were doing anything to not oh he would have run them down but they just happen to not be in a strip i think he was taking his chances of like it's a strip club parking lot, middle of the night, probably won't be any pregnant ladies there with their dogs, but I'll try. Probably no kids. Probably no kids, you never know. Not yet.

Wait till I get there. Mine will be in the car. Wait here, kids. December 10th, 2011, UFC 140, Lyoto the Dragon Machida, he's fighting here. 26 and 11 11 his career. He wins in the second round, John does, by technical submission with a guillotine choke. I don't know what a technical is.

I think that's when they pass out and the ref has to call it. I think that's what a technical is. Yes, that's when you didn't give up on your own because you just went unconscious. We got to revive him. Maybe. Either that or they literally killed him and they're like, that a technical submission right technically he's submitted technically he can't go on so we'll call that a submission now he's 15 and one after that fight so just rocking and rolling doing his thing april 21st 2012 ufc 145 versus Rashad Sugar, with an A, Evans.

Rashad Evans is insane, James. He's good. 17-1-1 coming into this fight. Not too shabby. 19-8 for his career. He goes the distance with John, and John wins a unanimous decision again. So not even close. Brutal.

16-1 for John here. So not even close. Brutal. 16 and 1 for John here. Now, Dana White in the post-fight press conference, he says that John Jones' next opponent would be Dan Henderson. And it's going to be at UFC 151. But then Henderson ended up pulling out of it because he was injured or something. So then in place of Henderson, they put in Chael Sonnen in there.

And they're like, eh, what about him? And Jones says, no, not doing that. He's not fighting Chael. Nope. He said that he told him there's only three days of training left. He goes, I'm not going to prepare for a whole new guy in three days. That's, no, not doing it. Smart.

He said then they ended up canceling UFC 151 because that was the main event. Really? So they cancel it. Then they ended up canceling UFC 151 because that was the main event. So they cancel it. And yeah, they said that this dumb part is they said that Henderson was actually injured three weeks prior to the announcement, but they kept it under wraps, hoping, quote, hoping that he would come back. In other words, letting the pay-per-view buys build up is what they did. Why? What the fuck? In my opinion, anyway, that's what he did. That's a very Vince McMahon thing to do.

Actually, Vince wasn't even like that. Vince, if Hulk Hogan couldn't show up at a fucking card, Vince would offer everybody their money back. That's how he operated. This is, I hope they did the same shit here, but I don't know. So he had to withdraw, though, after that. And then he declines the fight he does. This is in the 19-year history of the UFC. It's the first card to ever be canceled. First one. Dana White said on record,

quote, this is one of the most selfish, disgusting decisions that doesn't just affect you. This is affecting 16 other lives, their families. Kids are going back to school. The list goes on and on and all the things, the money that was spent for the fighters to train, and the list goes on and on. Like I said, I don't think this is going to make John Jones popular with the fans, sponsors, cable distributors, television networks, or other fighters.

Well, you could still pay those fighters, Dana. You make a lot of money, motherfucker. You're buying islands, you fucking Lex Luthor fucking comic book villain asshole are you kidding me fuck oh i hate this motherfucker so much john's fault that dan pulled out you know yeah he pulled out john was like i'm not fucking taking some fight at the last minute against some guy who knows what he's doing that's ridiculous why would i fucking risk that and he's like you're being selfish go out there and be fucking choked by another man what's the difference

it's for other people. Well, if you're so concerned about all those people, jingle jangle some of them fucking coins in your pocket around and fucking pass them out. You cheap son of a bitch. When you hear how little money John Jones has made in his career off UFC, you're going to fucking literally old school. Get out loose leaf paper and write Dana White a fucking handwritten letter calling him a cheap twat. I swear to God, you're going to lick it and put a little envelope, a little stamp on it and send it. Everybody knows who, I mean, if you're in the orbit of UFC or sports at all,

you know who Jon Bones Jones is. You do. Abso-fucking-lutely, you do. He lost once by disqualification. He's their longest reigning champion he's their most fight consecutive shit he's every fucking record they have is his top five uh name in ufc for sure he's got a fight in the hall of fame and everything really they put fights in the hall of fame i guess in the ufc so his fight one of his fights coming up is coming here now uh may 19 2012 this is uh slightly more selfish this is

just around 5 a.m which is always a good sign when we check in on these guys in the middle of the night in the wee hours wake up early to train james well he might have been uh but if he did he was driving himself shit face to that particular location so it's an odd way to train usually guys don't drink a lot of nyquil last night he's still a little woohoo he he crashes his bentley into a pole oh my this is the second crashed bentley into a fucking stationary object we've had in two months this is come on be more careful with your bentley it's an expensive vehicle it's very expensive and police end up arresting him on the scene for a DUI. He was

he totaled the Bentley by the way. Wow. Fuck that thing up. He's taken into custody. Bailed out a few hours later by who do you think Jimmy? Dana White? Camille. She has the bail money too? She's got the

ticket money. See she needs money for the bail money too? She's got the ticket money. See, she needs money for the bail. Ticket to free the money. Ticket out of the big house. That's what it is. He's got the, need money for bail? You go to the mail and get the bail money. Get out of jail free tickets. The tickets to the show.

Oh, I love it. So he's taken into custody here. His mom gets him out of there. It was 5.02 a.m. Struck a utility pole at the intersection of Grant Boulevard and Helen Street in the city of Binghamton. People are going to notice a fucking Bentley slamming into a pole in the middle of Binghamton at 5 in the morning. He goes home to really just start fires man yeah as fucking as people jog by it's may yeah shit he's still drunk fuck man he uh also he was scheduled for

an appearance at binghamton court for an arraignment anyway and the accident now is you know they're adding that to it uh some site here said, I can confirm that John Jones was arrested early this morning on suspicion of DUI. Well, the facts of the situation are still being gathered and situated. First round management fully supports John. And we're asking for fans and media to respect the privacy of John and his family during this time. So there's that. August 2012, he gets sponsored by nike wow he becomes the first mma fighter to be sponsored by nike on an international scale so they're marketing him

all over the world this is like he's a big star that's a big star that right there might be why everybody knows who he is you get nike on your side they'll they'll figure out how to get your name in people's ears. Totally. Well, they're not on his side very long, though. That's the problem. But then other people get on his side. That's the shit.

September 22, 2012, UFC 152. The phenom, Vitor Belfort, he's fighting here. 26 and 14 for his career. And John submits him with a key lock in the fourth round. So there's that that 17 and 1 finally now Jones is chosen to coach opposite Chael Sonnen on season 17 of the ultimate fighter and the and about between the coaches is going to take place at the end of it or whatever too so uh when they get to the fight August or April 22nd, at UFC 159, Sonnen is 31-17 for his career. They say that Jones looked very kind of uninterested in the fight and all this type of shit.

They said that he said he didn't believe that Sonnen was a fit contender for him at this point, and he thought it was a joke. And in an interview, they were doing an interview trying to pump it up, one of these pre-fights. And I guess Sonnen was doing all this talking, and Jones, quote, gave him the silent treatment and refused to make eye contact. Just didn't give a shit. And I saw the thing, too. That's exactly how I would describe it. He didn't. He just.

Okay. I'm not participating. It's so fucking weird. weird i just not doing it so april 22nd that happened uh he wins by tko with elbows and punches in the first round at 433 john does so he was right there really wasn't much of a fight 18 and one for john um and uh he dislocated his big toe though on his left foot during the fight. Ouch. Which hurts. That's going to hurt to walk anywhere.

So with this win, Jones ties Tito Ortiz for having the most consecutive title defenses in the light heavyweight category in UFC history. Not too bad. And they have another daughter named Olivia. Yeah. Not bad. When he left the ring, there was only one set of footprints because because one foot was broken because his coaches were carrying him yes i mean his coach was carrying him so uh i don't think they were talking about winkle john or whatever his name is when

they're september of 2013 he signs another big giant fucking. He's following. He's like UFC Michael Jordan. First Nike, now Gatorade. Is that right? He signs a big deal with Gatorade. Yeah. The Gatorade logo will be prominently displayed on his fight shorts from now on because he's the Gatorade guy. Jones said, it's great that a company like Gatorade sees the value that their products bring to MMA athletes. They're one of the biggest brands in sports worldwide, and I'm honored to have their support moving forward.

It does not get any better than Gatorade when it comes to fueling your body during training and competition. He's right in there, man. Wow. That's fucking wild. That's something. Then the Gatorade guy says Gatorade is one of the most recognized brands in the world. John has earned this relationship through hard work,

determination, and pure dominance inside the Octagon. So Gatorade, do you know, you know, the Gatorade story, by the way, it's crazy.

It's like in detail of it. Like they, it was disgusting at first. They didn't know what to do with it. It's the weirdest fucking story. the football Florida Gators yeah the freshman team at first because the coach said the coach said you're not giving my guys that shit give it to the freshman and the freshman team went like undefeated because in the fourth quarter they all said they were fresh and everybody else was half dead in the Florida heat so they're drinking

sugar water yeah and they're fucking they got some weird chemical shit and then they tasted like oh man that's funny as shit that's and it was yellow right it was the yellow stuff lemon was the first one the first one they said well the guys hated it they were they drank it because it worked but they were like man it tastes like shit they were like thinking like oh god so they were like let's add some lemon flavor to it and they did and that made it like palatable so you could at least get it down. Not good, but you get it down. And then it went to the orange because of the Gators.

And it's a popular fucking it's Florida oranges. You know, that's what it is. Yeah. They have plenty of it. So September 21st, 2013 UFC 165 versus Alexander the mauler Gustafson. I'm way out of UFC by now. i have no idea who the fuck that is i'd be i've never heard of me either 15 and 1 coming in 18 and 7 for his career it goes the distance and it's a unanimous decision yeah and uh this was a badass fight this one this was really a war uh jones said that this was the toughest fight of his career. And afterwards, they both went to the hospital like Mr. T, like Mr. T and Rocky and Rocky three.

But I can see him next to each other in the wheelchairs going in there because they're both fucked up. They both had a lot of cuts and swelling and all sorts of shit like that. But they just got checked over. They ended up they both earned the friday night bonus award or fight of the night bonus award which i guess you get paid uh they called it you know the fight of the year uh it was called the greatest light heavyweight title fight of all time it was uh it was huge shit and then 2020 march 8th 2020 to be exact and we'll talk about what happens later on that night but on that day that fight will be inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame's fight wing.

So there's that. Yeah, that's when it was announced. It'll happen July 9th, 2020. So April 2014, people keep complaining that he pokes them in the eye all the time. And he said, you know, they said that dana white said we've got to stop that stuff the openings of the hand the openings of the hands and putting the hands in the face are something bad but it happens with guys who have reach they do that a lot because yeah you're pushing a guy away and he said quote it's not just taller fighters jones has that range and he can do

it but lots of guys do it because that's how you block punches. So you keep your hands open and you slap punches down. These guys are rushing in and you're doing whatever and the guy gets poked in the eyes. That's fair. It's like when you're going to tackle somebody and then someone else tackles him and now his helmet's right into yours

when you were aiming at his rib cage, you know? Stuff. So yeah, he said, uh, Joan said, I realized the criticism that I get from it. It's not on purpose. If you watch my fights,

it's me extending my arm in a reactionary way. I do put a hand on people's foreheads to maintain distance, which is funny. Like they're a toddler. But yeah, like that, stay back. And his feet are moving and he's swinging like in a cartoon.

He said, but I am purposely not. But to say I'm purposely poking people in the eye, it's just inaccurate. It's just inaccurate. April 26, 2014, UFC 172. This fight, by the way, was scheduled and canceled like three different times with this guy. It just. Yeah.

One guy couldn't do it. Then the other guy couldn't do it. It was ridiculous. So he fights Glover. I guess it's to share. with this guy. It just kept, yeah, one guy couldn't do it, then the other guy couldn't do it. It was ridiculous. So, he fights Glover, I guess it's Teixeira. It's spelled like Mark Teixeira, the baseball player.

So, we'll go with that. 33 and seven for his career. And this one goes all the way to the distance again for another unanimous decision,

or, yeah, unanimous for John. He is fighting so many rounds. He's fighting a ton of rounds and his style is, you know, he's getting hit a lot. Yeah, it's tough.

So August 4th, 2014, he and Daniel Cormier, is that his name? I think so, yeah. They briefly scuffled during, they had a pre-fight match. Those pre-fight fucking weigh-ins and press conferences.

Right. Where the guys are supposed to kind of act like they're going at each other, but they're not actually supposed to break anything. Yeah. One of those here. Often times kiss each other or whatever just to fuck around. They do it to make a show of the thing. Yeah, totally. They want attention.

It's been worked for 50 years since Muhammad Ali used to talk a bunch of shit in front of Joe Frazier. Genuinely doesn't like this guy? Well, he pressed his forehead on Cormier there on his forehead. Cormier shoved him in the throat and then Jones threw a punch. And that's all a little bit too much for this shit. They ended up being restrained and all this type of shit. UFC's chief legal officer said there's going to be ramifications of this yeah and that's illegal yeah the nevada state athletic commission requested a video copy so they could figure out

if they want to you know talk some shit and uh jones is eventually fined fifty thousand dollars and ordered to go for order to undergo 40 hours of community service by the nevada state athletic commission not even the law. Now, during the disciplinary hearing, he says that he lost a six-figure endorsement deal with Nike for this. Now, he does lose the deal, but we don't know if this is why. I only know he loses the deal because in December 2014, he announces he's a Reebok guy now. Reebok sponsors him now. So he said, quote, him and Shaq yep he said we'll be working closely with Reebok to help develop and launch the brand's new range of UFC apparel as

well as a new collection of footwear and apparel specifically created for the more than 35 million people around the world who participate in combat training to stay fit. So this deals with both Jon Jones and Ronda Rousey. So they got the guy and the girl as the top two. They're going to push the fuck out of them. So January 3, 2015, finally the Cormier fight, UFC 182. Cormier is 22-3 coming in. Damn tough. Damn good fighter, yeah.

This one goes the distance again. Another distance. That's rough. And John wins again unanimously. So it's 21-1 is his record. Later on, we find out, and the world finds out, that John failed a test for cocaine a month before the fight. Oh, no.

And they just didn't tell anybody. They were just like, well, we'll announce it later after the fight, you know didn't they just didn't tell anybody they were just like well we'll announce it later after the fight you know when people pay for it and shit later you know it goes yeah it was announced he failed the drug test uh prior to ufc 182 apparently and then he tested positive for benzo jesus christ benzo yellow gonna gun nine i don't even know what that is it's the It's the metabolite of cocaine. It's just what you test positive for for cocaine. And it's not banned out of competition by the World Anti-Doping Agency, so they couldn't stop the fight because it's not like doping.

So he passed a second test, which means the cocaine metabolite was out of his system before the fight. Because coke's out of your system in like three days. So that's why it's very quick. Two days. So Jones went into rehab for one night when it came out in public. I'm good now. It's just a little bit in there. So I only need a little bit of rehab.

I'm good now. It's fine. I think a sleepover ought to do it. That's all. And he's fined $25,000 for violating the UFC's athlete code of conduct. We'll order a pizza, stay up late, pop some popcorn in the kitchen. Like on the stove. We'll do it the fun way.

Yeah, we'll do it with the lid on it and it's popping everywhere. Oh, get that. No, scoop it up. Hold the ball. Move it around. Get all that stuff. It's popping out everywhere. Last person to fall asleep.

Oh, you put too much. Toothpaste on their face and then I'll wake up and no more Coke. That's it. No more Coke. Just my hand in a thing of warm water. That's all it's going to be. He says- Sleepover.

Sleepover. He does an interview and says, I'm not a cocaine addict by any means, or not even a frequent user. I just made a really dumb decision and got caught with my pants down in the whole situation. First time I ever tried it, I got caught in a drug test? Is that what he's trying to sell to us? That's pretty much what he said. Who do you think you are, some pastor selling bullshit?

It's just the first time I ever put my foot under a bathroom stall and signaled another man to put his penis through the hole so I could suck it. It was just an experiment. Sure, I brought my own saw and made the hole, but you don't understand. I just wanted to see what it was like. Just the one time.

One time. One glory hole experience in the bathroom of the Cleveland airport. That's all I was looking for. It's not a bad thing. Just curiosity. Curiosity out there deep in the bowels of the Sacramento airport. I've bought a lot of dumb shit, James. Not that, though.

That ain't it. That ain't the one. Nope. So also prior to this fight, Jones' testosterone, his ratio of testosterone to epitestosterone, was considered to be very, very low. Now, the guy who ran Balco, Victor Conti, we know about that. He said that, quote, these levels are highly suspicious for John Jones. In my opinion, this is the reason that sophisticated anti-doping officials do target testing. So based on what we see here my opinion is john john jones

should be on a very short leash and should be random tested until they sort out why he has these anomalies okay he's doing something with his shit is what they're saying here um so uh i guess his drug test samples were out there and we don't fucking know what's going on with that so and who the hell knows after that what uh what the fuck if it was i don't know what dana white's gonna do with this is what i'm getting at i feel like it's all it's all his thing so if he wants conjecture yeah that's it you know he's gonna fight yeah and it's also conjecture too so i don't know it might it might be fine he might have weird fucking metabolite metabolism or of. I have no clue how that works. I'm not a doctor here.

So Jones's mother, though, told a reporter that her son stayed one day at a treatment facility and attends to. After that, he had to leave because his brother was in the AFC championship game with the Patriots. So he had to watch that. I couldn't fucking. Yeah, couldn't do that. Gustafson said the guy he fought last time yeah gustafson yes putz he says yeah from yeah from from a dirty old fucking grumpy old man dirty old men that's a different movie that's ufc 168 grumpy a dirty old men that's what that is that's a ufc title jimmy porn or ufc fucking title

dirty old men which one porn or ufc that's absolutely the it's a porn for sure and and and it's a very young man dressed up like walter mathau he said that jones did good in that fight he should get credit for that that cocaine is nothing that could have changed the fight okay now as bill cosby would say now now april 27 2015 okay we'll just start out with witnesses at the scene. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Said John Jones ran a red light in his rented Buick SUV. Who rents a Buick SUV, number one? I guess. I don't know if he was renting it for his grandmother and just taking it out for a ride or what.

It was rented here. He strikes another car, okay, driven by a woman. Okay. The woman's pregnant, by the way oh john hits her gets out of his vehicle and runs away on foot yeah okay that's bad yeah that looks real bad well looks even worse as he then came running back to the scene and you go oh he must feel bad you know he must have came to his senses and went jesus christ i could have hurt this person i better check if they're okay. Nope. Just reached in his car, grabbed some money, and ran again.

He came back for cash and then fucking took off again. Just fled the scene. He didn't buy any insurance. No shit. He's like, fucking fuck. I told him shit. They told me. They said the shit on my card covers it, but I'm not sure it covers it.

I'm not sure it does. They couldn't find him for 24 hours before he finally turns himself in. Yeah. So they didn't know who was driving the car. They just saw a guy run away, come back, grab money, and run away again. Yeah. So in the car, there's documents with his name on it, references to the UFC, promotional materials, and also a weed pipe with weed in it. Oh, no.

That's not good there for him. He also, he just took the fuck off. This poor woman, Vanessa Sonnenberg, pregnant woman with a broken arm from the collision. Oh, dear. He left an injured pregnant woman trapped in her car with a smashed in door. What a fucking asshole. Came back for a fistful of cash and ran away. Fistful of cash. At least he didn't punch her, too. He didn't come over

and be like, pow! You didn't see me, bitch! And then run away. That would have been worse. Knock her out. Yeah, try it. Maybe she won't remember it. Repeatedly hitting her. She's not not. Why are you hitting me over and over? It just hurts.

Being pummeled. Striking isn't as strong. He likes to go the distance and tap him out. Yeah, well, he could have choked her. I don't know. So, I mean, that could have been effective. I'm sure. Not that he should have. But he apologized to the woman in court afterwards and his supporters, and he said that he's embarrassed.

You should be embarrassed. Indeed, yeah. There's nothing. This is the most embarrassing thing you could do. What a piece of shit. If you're not humbled by that, sir. God damn it. You are a monster.

Not going to check on that pregnant lady I just plowed into. Right. No time. Got to grab my money. He says in court, quote, I'm here to accept full responsibility for my actions. I'm hoping that you guys give me a chance to redeem myself. Yeah. Well, let's see here.

He's arrested for leaving the scene of an accident involving death or serious injury. And there you go on a pregnant woman. Now, this is the perfect time. She fully recovered, by the way. Baby wasn't injured. No permanent damage, but a bad broken arm. I think his dad should say this best quote i think in a way john is preaching i believe that's the quote that we need right at that point he feels his son's ministering the word of god wherever he goes

i thought he was running back to minister the word of god turns out he was just getting a few hundred bucks to hit the strip club later so it's different minister so hard she broke her arm broke her fucking ministered her arm broken that's some ministering he is suspended from ufc and stripped of his belt at this point because you can't put a guy who just injured a pregnant woman and ran away out there as you're you know even vince mcmahon has limits he fired the iron chic and hacksaw jim duggan when they got caught together with cocaine on the new jersey turnpike you know i i do assure you there was a meeting about it and dana weighed the pros and cons of doing this he's like how pregnant was she

yeah i'm sure that i bet a million dollars the question not literally but i bet a million dollars that there's a question how pregnant was she was brought up at some point that like it fucking matters is the he asked how far along for sure absolutely how long we talking has she has she had the the ultrasound yet or is it just like a p-stick what are we talking what's her belly button doing right now is it still in any or is it what's happening is that little brown stripe there yet is that what are we doing man so yeah he's suspended and uh cormier went and replaced him and went on to defeat anthony johnson to take the vacant light heavyweight title uh you dana white is on hand in albuquerque to support him in court though um the ufc released released a statement saying that Jones will not be reinstated by the promotion until an investigation is done.

We're going to look into it. Quote, The UFC organization is aware that John Jones has reached a plea agreement with authorities in Albuquerque, New Mexico this morning, stemming from charges associated with a motor vehicle accident earlier this year. As a result,

UFC, through Las Vegas law firm Campbell & Williams, will thoroughly review the agreement before discussing Jones' possible reinstatement to return to competition. Yeah. In other words... I'm investigating for you making me come to Albuquerque. We're seriously fucking upset about this, is what that means. This is disgusting, and we're super pissed upset about this is what that means. This is disgusting.

And we're super pissed off about it. This is the only way we can say that because we don't want to say like, oh, you shouldn't hit pregnant women with your car. Because obviously that kind of just goes against our whole brand. Our brand is, you know what? You plow into them. Sometimes they're pregnant. You know what I mean? That's the brand we're pushing. And at this point, I feel like we're just not hitting it there.

John doesn't know what to do with himself now. One minute he's a star. He's the man. Everybody loves him. He's doing great. And the next minute he's getting suspended and people are calling him a scumbag. It's one thing to say you poked me in the eye or kicked me in the nuts. But you're like, there's video of you fleeing a scene of a pregnant woman coming back grabbing

money and then fleeing again that is bonkers that couldn't look worse no at least if he just ran away he could say i don't know i hit my head and i fucking didn't know what was going on and i just i ran away it was just a weird a weird reaction i had but nobody's like but then i decided i need money too like that's not part of it if you're unconscious either way he's got to start over he just has to wipe his slate clean and be a new person and that's going to start right first and foremost with his decor jimmy he's got to change it all up in his house new furniture new window treatments everything that he can think of there's only one man who can give him that and that's dexter manly interior designer from new york city and he says how is it you've come to arrive here seriously yeah oh my god everyone liked you you're such a

nice guy you're coming in i'm the new guydog. And then you're winning fights and choking these other men and they're sweaty and you're just grinding all over them and you're hitting them in the groin. You're groin shotting them. Then you start, okay, you're drifting. And that's kind of cool, actually. I might see that as Dexter and be like, oh, that guy, he's pretty cool. I don't know. He's kind of dangerous. I might talk to him.

I might think that. You know, like, he's pretty cool. I don't know. Like, he's kind of dangerous. I might talk to him, you know? Like, I might think that. And then next thing you know, you're plowing into a pregnant woman in a Buick? Oh, God.

No. No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You, sir. You don't even have, like, what are you, just carrying around just cash? Do you not have a bank account? You, sir, are white trash.

I'm sorry. This is the definition of white trash. Drifting into strip clubs, plowing into pregnant women, only carrying cash. You're white trash, trash. I'm sorry. This is the definition of white trash. Drifting into strip clubs, plowing into pregnant women, only carrying cash. You're white trash, sir. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm done with you. I'm done. No, he's not coming.

No. I told him. No. Vince is staying in the car. He said, I'm not interested. That's how he does it. I'm not interested in him. Whatever the fuck he said.

No, he says it. He's like, it's just trash. just trash he said no i'm not doing it so you know what you can you can deal with this yourself this mess because you're a mess and the place is a mess and he just gets a feng shui together and poof he's gone in a cloud of feather boas and uh carpet swats he's gone everything's gone carpet swatches yeah they're gone wallpaper fucking patches or whatever so he's gone april the 29th 2015 reebok uh has said you know what we're not gonna roll with john jones oh they've had enough we've had enough too um yeah he said you know he stripped of his title and you know all pregnant lady thing and so you see shaq's shoes we're more embarrassed of you yeah it's really

much worse and those things are hideous if you've seen them they weigh 14 pounds each no one's wearing those they started making them again james oh my god really yeah the shacks yeah those big ugly moon boots with the fucking weird stripes. Those are bulky. I remember picking one of those up, and not even like a shack-sized one, just one like a footlocker back in the day. And it's like a size, no, nine and a half. And it was like, whoa, this thing is weighty. It's a lot of boot.

Like, yeah, I can't play basketball in this. Those are basketball boots. Yeah, you can't play basketball in that if you're a normal human being you have to be seven foot two 330 pounds to be able to get lift off with those fucking things on your feet they got new color schemes for them i went i took my kid to go get shoes the other day and when we were in the store i was like are those are those those are the and i picked up it says shack on the back and i was like be honest how many of these are you selling? And he goes, not many at all. Not many at all. Look at them. They're hideous.

You know why they're being sold? Online to just people who buy them for nostalgia but aren't going to wear them. You know what I mean? No kids are buying those. No kids are buying those. I go, Landon, what about these? And he goes, oh God, no. $69.99. No, absolutely not. Damn. Should have got them at D. Brown Pumps, Jimmy.

They aren't even selling them, James, for the same price as they were brand new when we were kids. Yeah. They're like $100 when we were kids. They were fucking $110 or something. I couldn't afford them even if I wanted them. $69. They can't give them away. Out of my range, can't give them away.

Well, we tried to give them away and still it's not working out well. Just nobody wants them. I don't know why. Just nobody wants them. It's an awful shoe. Bad shoe. I like Reebok's fucking, I like Reebok's whole, their public statement here. Quote, in light of recent events, you know what they are.

Yeah. We've made the decision to terminate our contract with Jon Jones effective immediately. We've chosen a new path. We're going to put Shaq's old shoes back out yeah he's like but look how quickly i got away from the car back to it and watch me pivot when i grab this that's reebok traction right there that's like if michael jordan or something and a jordan is like making a cut and you know fucking shitting on somebody with the crossover this is kind of the mma equivalent of that so you knew it kind of knew what

you were getting into didn't you so he goes to court he uh is going to plead guilty of a felony charge of leaving the scene of an accident when she's lucky he wasn't charged injuring people as well uh granted a conditional discharge here. And he is given, let's see you, sir. They fuck off 18 months of supervised probation. Oh my, not that.

Um, yeah, the world champion. Nope. He's supervised. He's got to do 72 appearances doing work with charity and speaking with children. Once,

uh, once the probation's over he'll be resentenced per the terms of his conditional discharge and he has not been convicted of a felony and won't be if he fulfills the terms of his probation doesn't fuck up anymore yeah they'll wash it kind of expunge it and it'll be a misdemeanor or whatever he said after the reading here yeah let me give a statement, quote, with regards to today's decision made by the court, I'm very happy to be able to put this incident behind me. My actions have caused pain and inconvenience in the lives of others, and for that I'm truly sorry and I accept full responsibility. sport to grow and mature as a man and to ensure that nothing like this ever happens again. I've learned a great deal from this situation, and I'm determined to emerge a better person because of it. I apologize to those who were affected by my actions in this incident, and I'm hopeful

that I will be given the opportunity to redeem myself in the eyes of the public, my family, and friends, as well as my many supporters. I am not sure what the future holds for me, but I plan to continue to do the work needed to be productive and successful in every aspect of my life. All said, amen. And he crossed out his lawyer's name and wrote his. Yeah. Crossed out his publicist's name.

I can't believe he didn't say, in the eyes of all these people and the Lord or some shit. He didn't even invoke religion at all. He's never preaching his father's saying he's never out he's i'm hitting pregnant woman he's not even saying i talked to jesus and we worked it out he's just like listen i fucked up my bad peace out yeah and his dad's like that's preaching he's ministering to the flock right now he's letting him know let Let them know about the Lord, son. That's right. You do it. Hallelujah.

Absolutely. Now, Dana White says the UFC organization is aware that Jon Jones reached a plea agreement with the authorities in Albuquerque, New Mexico this morning, stemming from charges associated with a motor vehicle accident earlier this year. That's one way to put it, Dana. As a result, UFC threw, and that's when they say they suspend him there january 16th or january of 2016 so a couple months later he is fucking cited for driving without a license registration or insurance none of the above just a fucking guy in a car. No fucking documents, nothing. Just driving around. A guy with a full tank of gas. That's it.

That's it. A guy with two thumbs and a full tank of gas. Let's get it moving. No license, registration, or insurance. I mean, at least he wasn't drifting. But still, imagine you pull him over and you're like, license? Nope. Nope. All right. Well, at least he wasn't drifting. But still, imagine you pull him over and you're like, license? Nope. Nope.

All right. Well, at least give me the registration. Strike two. Fresh out. Please tell me at least this thing's insured. Well, that's a funny story. You're out of here. That is not fucking good.

He fails to report this to his probation officer, and they don't violate him. What? They don't violate him because it's not like a... It's still in a car, though. It's fucking around in a car. He's not taking driving seriously as a responsibility. I'm sorry. You need something.

Fucking around in cars. He's fucking around in cars, man. He's ordered to complete three days of community service for failing to report it to his probation officer and he's later warned by the judge in traffic court not to receive any more citations god damn it so march 24th 2016 now now he's pulled over by albuquerque Department Officer Jason Brown. Why does he spend so much time in Albuquerque? It's where his fight training is.

He's training there. So it's where his trainers are based. So during this, I guess he was out of light, revving his engine up in a drag racing type fashion. So he ended up, cop comes in and says, hey, don't be drag racing. Jones said he wasn't drag racing, called the cop on camera, quote, a fucking liar and a fucking pig. Which, if you're trying to get out of a ticket, that's probably not the approach to go for, I would say. Just as advice for me. Listen, you fucking liar.

Oh, well, sir, let me give you a break on this one. Even if you think the guy's a fucking pig and a liar. Yeah. Maybe don't tell it to his face. There was a particular Texas officer who I absolutely. Oh, yeah. He was a fucking liar. He was an absolute liar.

I watch you pig liar. He's a fucking. Yeah. And he was even like even look kind of like a pig, too. in the face like not like a cop pig like a small ears yeah yeah piggy he was a little piggish he was a little bit of a small ears but more of a liar than anything because he thought we were we were the fucking cruise control was on we were definitely not going 20 miles faster than our cruise control was set we were just cruising man little bit of a piggy mostly liar mostly you fucking liar so um yeah apparently

they're going back and forth about it he says that he absolutely was not drag racing okay not at all he says it's bullshit he merely revved his engine while stopped for a red light in response to some people in the next lane who recognized him so it was like his truck horn like he gave him one of those except it was a that's his claim what a weird choice i've never done that to like one of my friends like hey dude what's up yeah i usually wave it works well i usually just wave here i am they see it yeah just stick your arm out wave at him hey look at that john jones waved at his school that's cool um yeah then he says rave a rev a buick at us yeah what's that a buick fucking

i don't even know what those things are this little weird suvs is it an enclave i think it's an enclave yeah one of those of the Buick centuries got over there. He's running. He told a reporter, quote, I freaked out. I completely lost it and said a whole bunch of terrible things to the guy, called him all kinds of names and stuff like that, which I really regret. He sounds like fucking Pac-Man. I swear to God, like the Pac-Man character. I was just merely on the side of the road. I was revving my engine due to being recognized by some fellow citizens meanwhile an officer of the law comes up with an accusation that's not even legally justified so of course i called him a liar anyway he's and i regret it and i regret there you got

two characters today fuck off everybody so he said um and i really regret it he says quote then he goes into a thing of the guy's bullshit again he says quote I think it was a DUI pop he wanted to find a drunk driver and once he realized I was sober he needed something to justify pulling me over so yeah he said right now everything

in my life is just so public I'm really walking on eggshells so I figured I'd talk about it now I thought I'd get ahead of it and let everybody know what's going on before it comes out so uh yeah he receives a 90-day deferred sentence for dr by the way not no license no registration not a speck of insurance he just picks up cars and puts keys in and drives them without doing any paperwork you have to call somebody you have to get a thing mailed to you and there's a lot of paperwork involved with cars that you you have to call somebody you have to get a thing mailed to you and there's a lot of paperwork involved with cars that you really have to do it's important it seems like

a pain in the ass i'm not gonna do it i just won't i'll just drive it it's a car it drives i'm a driver fuck it it's got keys it's got gas look it's got tires on it and everything so he he wants to fight in rochester now he's talking about that that's what he wants his next fight he says it would be bigger than fighting in madison square garden he's talking to hannah storm about this shit yeah luckily she's not pregnant he's not driving so it's safe um he says the garden is a fight mecca meaning madison square garden muhammad ali fought there mike tyson it's everybody's dream to fight in the Garden. I'd love to do an event there to give back to New York State fans by

fighting live, and more importantly than fighting at the Garden for me is to fight in Rochester, New York. I was born in Rochester, and I've done nothing there to give back, and it's something I have a degree of guilt for. Okay. Rochester, the inner city where I was born and raised,

it could use a positive role model and influence. That's something I'm really striving to be. And there's a lot of work I could do in Rochester. So hopefully I can fight in an arena there. OK, so there's that. He wants to fight in Rochester. He's given nothing back and he feels guilty. Yeah.

So then he says he was a drug addict. That's his new thing now. He says he's a drug addict. That's his new thing now. John, he says he's a drug addict. He said a month. Oh, yeah. He said I'm unstoppable inside the octagon. But away from it, I was under the control of sweet Mary Jane. Oh, drug addict.

He says, quote, go ahead. He said, quote, I was a drug addict. He said, one thing people don't realize is that you can be a drug addict even if you're a stoner. If you're waking up every day and smoking, smoking before you eat, smoking before you train, which is weird, smoke before you sleep, smoking before you watch a movie, smoking before your study session, you're an addict. It doesn't have to be a hard drug to be an addict. If you're spending lots of money on it and all your friends are people who do it as well and you don't really associate with people who are completely sober, then yeah, you're an addict. You're also fun. I think that that's why people have these issues with marijuana because they really don't consider it a drug. I'll say it once and I said it again. If you can't control that

shit, that's because you're weak because it's controllable. It's not heroin and it's not. I'm saying that out of experience. People are going to say, oh, no, but I don't care. Your fault. I've done it for fucking ever. Never led to anything else. Hasn't fucked up my life at all. Actually, it enhances everything. I do better at the shows if I'm stoned.

So I can go days without it. Don't have to think about it. It's fine. Guess what? It's not your favorite thing, going days without it. But you don't get sick because of it. No, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I'm like, days without it but no you don't get sick because no i don't give a fuck yeah i'm like yeah it sucks i don't care though it's not like it's a fucking like i need my stuff like it's fine i'm annoyed that with people but that's another story

i'm annoyed with them anyway yeah so it's very similar with coffee with me uh if i don't have coffee in the morning i don't want the early phone calls i don't want to talk please don't talk to me and it's not your fault certain anybody's fault some people can't handle certain things they just can't some people can't handle booze some people can't handle this maybe he can't handle weed you know what i mean that's just how it works uh but you know that's why you're an adult and don't fucking smoke it if you can't handle it you have so much discipline so i mean the physical discipline of this man is insane and it's like you know don't smoke it if you can't handle it. You have so much discipline. So, I mean, the physical discipline of this man is insane. And it's like, you know, don't smoke it if you don't want to. And what year is this?

2016. I mean, it's mad legal in so many places. He's fucking, yeah. But the funny thing is he's been caught for coke and he's been caught for being drunk and drifting into shit and stuff. But this weed's never been a real problem. Yeah. coke and he's been caught for being drunk and drifting into shit and stuff but this weed's never been a real problem yeah he said it became who i enjoyed being i thought i was preserving myself from all the negatives and evil of the world i would pop out of my cave for fights and he'd win so what the fuck are you talking about it was literally what i would do in between

fights i was just sitting enjoying life and thinking i was a hippie i didn't feel like i was hurting anyone else i didn't feel i was being a bad person because you weren't yeah you said i was sitting in my house smoking weed you're hurting nobody unless he's trying to explain to us right now that he hit a car with a pregnant woman inside because he was too stoned he's saying he didn't wouldn't go out yeah so we should fucking put a helmet on this guy with weed pumping in constantly because when he's not stoned he's apparently driving around with no license registration or insurance plowing into pregnant women and running the fuck away that's not a stoner move you know it's just not so april 23rd 2016 back back in the UFC. All is forgiven. Everything's fine. Ovince St. Preux, I guess.

P-R-E-U-X. O-S-P, they call him. He's 25 and 16 his career. And it's a unanimous decision win for Mr. Jones here. 22 and 1. Now, July of 2016, that year, a urine sample from him tested positive for two banned substances, clomiphene, which is an anti-estrogen substance, and letrozole, an aromatase inhibitor prior to the scheduled championship fight here. The violation was from an A sample collection with subsequent testing of the B sample confirming it. So

yeah, both drugs are on the world anti-doping substances banned substances list described as hormone and metabolic modulators and not allowed to be used in or out of competition. He had to withdraw from an event from because

of this and he's replaced by uh anderson silva and uh yeah he maintained his innocence claiming he was the victim of a contaminated product take it easy jeremy that he believed to be cialis what which later independently obtained tested and founded to tested, and founded not to be contaminated by the United States. So, no. You just had what you weren't supposed to have in your piss, period. That's how it is, John. Just saying.

Somebody sprinkled boner pills in his piss? No, he was taking boner pills, and he didn't realize something in the boner pills triggers the banned substances. Then they did a research and went, nothing in the boner pill would do that. This shit does it, and you had it. What did Jeremy Mayfield say he took that had meth in it, evidently? Did he say, like, antihistamine or some shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Taking allergy pills. There's clearly meth in it. Some Benadryl. It was just meth. I didn't realize it. So he's issued a one-year suspension by the USADA following an arbitration hearing. Blah, blah, blah.

August 11, 2016 2016 he's in court to plead guilty to unlawful use of modification of exhaust systems in his car an improper display of registration plate uh in albuquerque here oh he got registration he got a register well the plate anyway the other charges unlawful charges, unlawful drag racing, unlawful exhibition driving, and failure to maintain a traffic lane were thrown out. Sounds like he wasn't at a light when that happened. You can maintain a lane stopping. It'd be impossible not to. He is given a you, sir, a fuck off 90-day deferred sentence.

He must complete aggressive driving school and complete 60 hours of community service and pay a fine of one hundred and forty three dollars. So look at him. He must not violate any laws in that time. And he does a bunch of community service and he needs approval from his probation officer every time he wants to drive. He has to call and ask for permission. Please, dad, please. So there was supposed to be a rematch with cormier here but he's removed from the bout after the doping thing so he ends up being suspended for a year and then two days

later they say that he's stripped of his title again and uh he's the first fighter in ufc history to be stripped of a title twice wow so he's another first for him also suspended by the nevada state athletic Commission for a year. So they're not going to license him in Nevada. So he goes to grappling instead. Oh, he's going to just go do grapple competitions? He does a couple grappling. He's in Phoenix on October 15, 2016.

And he fights Rich O'Toole. Again, I assure you there's a shamrock somewhere. And Dan Daubert, and he beats them both with guillotine chokes that night at Naga Phoenix, N-A-G-A Phoenix. I don't know. I have no... There's no place where they did it? No.

It doesn't say. It just says Phoenix. It's probably some shithole. It's grappling. They're not going to draw 30,000 people for grappling. It's probably not even Phoenix, Arizona. It's probably Phoenix, New Mexicoxico it's uh what was it is it ohio have a phoenix i think so phoenix everybody has a phoenix so uh he ends up also fighting remember that dan

henderson guy that you're supposed to fight well he fights him finally in a grappling match important dan henderson i'm not positive he's a linker so probably yeah that's why i put that finally, in a grappling match. Are you sure it's Dan Anderson? I'm not positive. He's a linker, so probably. That's why I put that he's a linker, so I think that's probably the same guy. It's in Portland, Oregon at Submission Underground 2, which actually takes place under the ground.

They just dig a hole for these guys to fight in. And he beats Dan with a submission with an arm triangle choke. So there you go. He's 5-0 in grappling so far. He's great. June 2017, Camille dies, which is very sad. She's only like 56 or something. She's young. She's got to be young.

She's got to be dead, yeah. July 29, 2017, well, having all those athletes just took it out of her. She probably had no insides left. It was probably the problem. It all fell out after the 280-pounder came out. So July 29, 2017, UFC 214. He's back again fighting Daniel Cormier. This fight earned him performance of the night

with a knockout, with a head kick, and a bunch of punches. Awesome. Awesome. But eventually, that is stripped away from him, and it's ruled a no contest. Oh? After he tests positive for a Turinabol metabolite. He praised Cormier as a model champion while recognizing that he's better, obviously. And then he challenged Brockck lessner to a fight

it's a lot bigger than him um yeah he tested positive for it's an anabolic steroid he's placed on a provisional suspension since then they confirmed the a and the b sample both contained it california state athletic commission overturned the result of the fight to a no contest and dana white made the decision to strip him of the light heavyweight championship again and return it to daniel cormier a third time it's pretty fucking amazing uh this is his biggest payout in ufc ever by the way 1 million 830 000 almost okay do you know what they fucking make on a pay-per-view with 800,000 buys? So much. Yeah. That is disgusting. Disgusting.

That is the headline event. Yeah. Mike Tyson used to make $40 million for a fucking, for a fucking boxing pay-per-view. This is crazy. And Don King would rip him off. Still. This is like, this is nuts. He might as well throw change at them.

August of 2017. He is flagged again for a potential doping violation. Jesus Christ, it gets the same thing again, the same Terinabal shit or whatever. So now there's another suspension. It's a fucking mess.

They said that this case is another strong reminder that athletes need to be extremely cautious about the products and supplements they use to ensure they are free of prohibited substances.

No shit. They are. It was a mistake. They're very aware of it, and that's not what's causing the problem. No. He didn't go in and fucking take Flintstones vitamins and be like, oh, there's Turinabol in it. Shit.

I didn't realize that the Barneys had Turinabol in it. That's super weird. You can only eat the pebbles. That's it. I didn't know that taurine in a Red Bull metabolizes as turinabol. I had no idea. No clue. Live and learn, I guess, right?

October 2018, he's eligible to fight again, scheduled to go at UFC 232. However, more inconsistencies came up with another drug test, and he was not granted a license to compete in Nevada, so it was moved to los angeles don't cancel the fight just move it because nevada won't license you here um so he uh he had to take both these doping agencies tests at the same time during all this and uh they found an ultra trace amount of terinobol which they attributed to a long-term pulsing effect there, and they did not take disciplinary action against him here. And they said there's no evidence that he had re-administered a banned substance and that they don't think from this amount any performance-enhancing benefits were gained.

So they're going to let him fight again. December 29, 2018, UFC 232, Alexander Gustafson again. He putts KO by punches in the third round. So he beats this guy twice. 2018 UFC 232 Alexander Gustafson again puts KO by punches in the third round so he beats this guy twice 23 and one now next up March 2nd 2019 UFC 235 Anthony

Lionheart Smith he is 36 and 16 for his career this fight goes the distance unanimous decision win 24 and one April of 2019 jesus christ uh he's at a strip club shockingly everything with him revolves around strip clubs when is that april 2019 okay all right he's at td's gold club in albuquerque yeah i'm sure uh titty dancers gold club in albuquerque he is charged with battery after a cocktail waitress accuses him of slapping her in the pussy

there's no other way to put it yeah slapping her in the put he does go for shots to the groin we know that that's that's he's been penalized before pulling her down into his lap and kissing her neck. She also told him, no, you can do none of those things. Literally 0 for 3. I used to go to a lot of strip clubs. That will get you thrown out in a minute. That's an 0 for 3 like no license, no registration, or no insurance. That's the same 0 for 3.

Can't do any of those things. Strike 3. She also said that he tried to put her in a chokehold, or that he did put her in a chokehold, and picked her up off the ground. When she asked him to stop, he continued touching her until he decided to leave. Gross. Just going to touch you for a while. He initially pleads not guilty to the battery charge. His spokesperson says it's a false accusation

and that the woman's claims are a malicious lie. Wow. Malicious lie. John also says, don't be so quick to believe everything you need and read on the internet. And he says he's not in any trouble and he's fine. I mean, I'm really the victim here is the thing.

Because I mean, I was in a strip club and then this young lady completely interrupted my night by putting her genitalia in my hand. I'm like, listen, listen, young lady. Smacked it. Get back with that. Get out of here. Smack. And the force of it knocked her onto my lap where I thought she needed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

And I was trying to issue it to her, and there was a problem. I mean, I'm. I hit her in the neck. You should feel bad for me. Me, not her. But not nearly as bad as you should feel. For John Jones, MD. Oh, God.

Board certified in physical medicine and rehabilitation, Baseline Road in Mesa, as a matter of fact. Is that right? For him. John Jones Real Estate from here. Everybody wins or no deal is his motto on his website. I'll choke you out. I'll choke you out. I'll smash into your pregnant wife.

This is in Ohio. You can find him. He's not the guy, so give him your business. Give him some help. John Jones Jr. Oh, boy. MD. And he's also an assistant professor he does patient care he's board certified american board of surgery in 1992 he's got a fellowship in transplant surgery immunology fellowship also did his residency

in general surgery clinical skills and interests, general surgery, complex hernia, breast, large and small bowel. All of this sounds pornographic. I will fix all of you. I'll fix your shit. I'll tell you what. So John Jones, general manager at Atlantic Concrete Company in Harrington, Delaware. John Jones, lead at a provision in the heart of Bristol offering bespoke educational packages for young people in Bristol, United Kingdom.

And finally, John Jones, general manager operations at Bedford Group in Mile End South. I think that's Australia there. He did go to the University of Michigan, though. So there's that. July 6, 2019, UFC 239. Thiago Santos is the opponent, 22-9 for his career, almost at 19. This goes the distance, unanimous decision win. So good for him, 25-1 for John.

July 21, 2019, the incident at the strip club becomes public. That wasn't public yet. They kept that under wraps until after the pay-per-view. Isn't it so weird how all this shit is known by the UFC but they don't release it until after they've sold something with them? Unbelievable, man. And this kind of thing

where you're attacking women. Why do you win silver-haired middle-aged white man of the year every year, Dana? I wonder why. This guy's got a shelf full of scummies, and it's never, it's always, and we do the MMA the least of any of the sports besides probably hockey, and he wins it anyway. It's amazing. Strong contender. July 21st, that's then.

October 2019, he takes a plea deal from the thing that never happened that he's completely innocent of. Makes a plea deal from the thing that never happened and he's completely innocent of. He pleads no contest to disorderly conduct and receives a 90-day deferred sentence. Again, a lot of deferred going on. Because otherwise that's sexual battery and you're in trouble for a long time. What did he say? Disorderly?

I mean, that's not that bad. That sounds good. In 90 days, he must avoid arrest or violating the law, consume no alcohol or drugs, be under supervised probation, and not return to the scene, which is a strip club near where he lives, and pay court fees. I don't think he's doing all of those. That's a lot of stuff to do. There's paperwork. He can't even get all three things done on a car, and he's going to do this for his life? That's what I'm saying. February 8, 2020, UFC 247.

So no problem. Back in there two months later after that uh dominic the devastator reyes he's facing uh he's 12 and 0 coming in dominic he's now 12 and 3 though this didn't quite work out this is a unanimous decision win here making him 26 and 1 that's his last mma fight his total recorded mma fight earnings jimmy he's headlined how many pay-per-views champ forever give me a guess on what you think it's shy of three million dollars i'm gonna oh no no it's gonna be more than that but i mean no think about it in terms of a boxer what it would be oh god it'd be uh how many pay-per-views? 12? More than that. Jesus Christ. He should be north of $90 million. Yeah, $14,300,000 he made for all that.

That's disgusting. That's way less than he brought in, I feel. Put it that way. They're definitely getting a deal there. $14 million for everybody that's ever heard of the UFC to know his name. Absolutely. That is staggering. To make them famous, to make people draw people to it.

Staggering. Fucking national commercials. No one else on fucking nike commercials besides ronda rousey and she went and fucking wrestled and said i don't need to get my ass kicked for this and i can make the same money doing that why the fuck would i do that it makes sense also that kick to the neck really fucked her life up that too that's what i mean after that why would the fuck would you get hit for real like why would you get beat up for real when at least this person's trying to take care of you might get injured by accident but they're not trying to kill you like the other fucking people so um yeah march 25th 2020 4 43 a.m oh boy early riser oh he's up early baby he's arrested this morning in albuquerque on charges of driving under the influence neglig negligent use of a firearm, and possession of an open container, and, of course, no proof of insurance.

Because why would you have insurance for all of this craziness? He doesn't have enough money to buy insurance. No, apparently not. $14 million isn't enough. Local police officers respond to 3rd and and central avenues in albuquerque after gunshots were fired shortly after 1 a.m the officers reportedly found jones inside a running vehicle and he said he denied knowing anything about the gunshots i don't know what you're talking about he told the officers he'd been driving and also was planning on driving after

that yeah i'm sitting in the car and uh they said they observed signs of intoxication and asked for the DUI kit and all that kind of shit. So they said his eyes were bloodshot and watery, smell of alcohol around his face. And they end up doing the whole thing. And it's parked in front of a bar called the library. Okay. So tells you a lot right there. Yeah, exactly. called the library okay so tells you a lot right there yeah exactly uh the officer said on 3 6 20 at about 12 58 a.m i was on third and central in the parking lot i heard a single gunshot on the

west on to the west on central i drove west on central observed a black jeep on the south side of the street parked in front of 312 central i observed a male in the driver's seat and a subject on the sidewalk by the passenger door i observed no other subjects in the area i pulled up behind the vehicle and turned on my overhead lights vehicle was running told the driver to roll the windows down i observed an open bottle of alcohol on the floor behind the passenger seat it was a quarter a quarter full bottle of tequila so that's what he's got i asked the driver to hand me the bottle i also observed that he had a green leafy substance on his shirt and pants consistent with marijuana i identified the driver as jonathan jones i asked jones about the gunshot and he stated he didn't

know at least he didn't call him a fucking liar right um i asked him why he was out and he stated he wanted to go for a drive okay i asked him for the vehicle registration and proof of insurance he fumbled with his documents and was not able to locate proof of insurance he does have it registered though that's a step up for him he's going in the right you got to give credit where credit's due it's the right direction i also observed that jones had an odor of alcohol coming from his facial area um officer johnson completed his investigation placed him under arrest here for dui he ends up having i think it's about double the legal limit of booze in his system they said he performed poorly in sobriety and alternative tests and uh per body cam footage which you can see online

you can watch him perform poorly you can make a judgment for yourself. He was searched and given a breath test. Those results were to be at or twice above the legal limit. So there you go. And a history check of his history turned up a previous DUI arrest. They searched the vehicle and you know what? They find a handgun under the fucking driver's seat and a bottle of tequila there. So, yeah, he's charged with that as well. Aggravated drinking while under the influence of intoxicating liquors with a.16 or above blood alcohol level. Oh, that's an extreme.

That's a double. Yep, doubled them up. That's aggravated. Negligent use of a deadly weapon. Negligent because he's intoxicated and he has one. And an open container as well. Well, all they got to do is do that. I've watched enough First 48. Fucking swab those hands and see if there's gunpowder residue.

Yeah, they call it fucking not nuke. What the fuck do they say? Neutron. Neutron that bitch. That's what they used to say back in the day. Neutron that bitch. That's it. Neutron that bitch.

It's from Homicide. Anyway, May 2020 here. He's in a conflict with dana white over pay you don't have the best bargaining position when you just got fucking busted fucking shots off while shit hammered in front of a bar on the street he uh fighting with him jones wants a fight with a heavyweight contender uh naga non nagano i guess and according to white he wanted uh dionte wilder money referring to the 25 to 30 million in earnings uh in his rematch with tyson fury held in in february 2020 yeah that he should box then because you make that money in boxing otherwise every it all filters through dana white

and you don't get much i also want michael Jordan money, but I podcast. That's the difference. Yeah, I'll take like, you know, Frank Jordan money. He's a guy who is the custodian at the elementary school over here. So August 15th, 2020, he announces on social media that he's relinquishing the light heavyweight championship as well as just expressing a desire to move up to heavyweight. September 23rd, 2021. This is a fucked up night, Jimmy. Wild night. His fight is inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame, the Gustafson fight.

So that's that night. He's out. He's happy. He's out with his friends. Well, by 4.30 a.m., things have gone a bit awry. They oftentimes do for him. Yep, they do. He's staying at caesar's there it's in vegas the whole ceremony a security guard calls the police calls 9-1-1 and says that

uh quote we got a possible dv call domestic violence call female is bleeding from the nose and mouth this is at 4 30 in the morning He says she's not admitting to any domestic violence, but she's bleeding from the nose and mouth. She's down with us while the males up in the room. He's actually a professional MMA fighter, Jonathan Jones, and she's refusing to go back to the room. We're trying to assist her and help her grab her stuff, but she will just not go back. She's like, he'll kick all of your asses.

Do you understand that? Elbows, knees, elbows. You'll all be laying there and then I'm fucked. go back she's like he'll kick all of your asses do you understand that elbows knees elbows you'll all be laying there and then i'm fucked i'm not trying to make light of this but i mean yeah she's she's smart she's like you work at caesar's he's gonna kick your ass the only fight he lost is when he threw the elbows he's gonna throw at you yeah because there's no ref here right so uh security informs the dispatch of all this type of shit now uh they said that uh she came to the desk this is still jesse moses by the way same girl from high school from a junior in high school till now and this was a couple months ago in 2021 yeah uh she explained she

didn't feel safe going from the room and she was taken with her children by the way her children the children are here jim Jimmy. To a security office. Once there, the youngest child asked security, can you call the cops? The kid said it. Oh my god. They identified her as a white female adult with bleeding

from the nose and mouth. Jones's fiance. It's been a while, dude. Either marry her or don't. Give me a fucking break. Fiance. You have three kids and you've been together since fucking... We're in biology class together. is fiance it's been a while dude either marry her or don't give me a fucking break fiance you have three kids and you've been together since fucking you were we're in biology class together fucking married stupid since you carried a jan sport for christ's sake at this point maybe she shouldn't though uh police arrived and were informed that the suspect which is jones had left the property and was picked up outside walking down the street with his friends.

As he was being detained, he's pissed off. I was mad. They're, they're fucking up his big night is the way he's looking at it. Quote, as Jones was being detained, he became irate and smashed his head into the front hood of the Las Vegas metropolitan police department patrol vehicle,

leaving a medium sized dent as well as chipping some of the paint off the vehicle wow he just smashed his head into it so then he's charged with injuring or disabling a vehicle and they're going to charge him for that as well and for what it costs so they talked to jesse moses she stated that she's engaged to them to john he's been they been together for 17 years three children she said that she hadn't even been arguing with him, but she said about 1130 local time, he went out with his friends and she stayed in with the kids. After the ceremony and all that, he's going out with the boys. She said she was sleeping and he came back in and he wasn't very happy.

And they said, did he get physical with you? And she said a little bit yeah she then claimed that he quote touched the back of my head and pulled my hair a little bit but he didn't hit me or anything no um he said that she uh she said that jones told her that he grabbed her by the hair because she was quote trying to leave the room why would you yeah it wasn't like she was waking her up like you know i mean all yeah so then police said okay but if he didn't hit you or anything why do you have blood all over your sweatshirt all over your chin and face and uh and a bump on your on your chin and quote

dried up blood on the lower part of your lip as if you're in a physical altercation, she said, oh, my lips get really dry. I mean... Does anybody have any cherry chapstick? Not to laugh at a scared woman who's obviously petrified of this man, but that's not a good excuse. I mean, I'm sorry. You can say I'm not sure or whatever, but don't say they're really dry.

These guys aren't... They're not completely fucking brain damaged. These guys like he is. Yeah, I fell down at the doorknob. Anything. My lips are dry. And they said that she had blood, quote, around her lips, chin and all over her sweatshirt, along with a swollen lip. And she seems scared to even talk about Joan.

She's fucking terrified. Who knows what he what he puts her through. Unbelievable. So, yeah yeah she said that uh wow um they said how long do you have until he's out again basically or she when they said they would arrest him he she said how long do i have until he's out yeah when's he gonna come out pissed off basically she they said she still seemed very scared as to the release of Jonathan from jail. And he said they became extremely agitated when they Miran dized him. He fucking smashed his head into the car.

Then he said that he will have a huge lawsuit filed against the police department for putting him in handcuffs on the biggest night of his life. Is that a lawsuit? That is the fact. Yeah, you can't ruin the biggest night of my life. That's a lawsuit. That's illegal. Totally illegal, yeah. He said, listen, this is what happened.

I came home at 4.30 in the morning from being out all night with my boys. First of all, if she's not mad at you, you're in pretty good fucking shape, number one. You should probably be happy with that. Take it as a win. pretty good fucking shape. Number one, you should probably be happy with that. Take it as a win.

He only came back to the room though, to grab $10,000 in cash. So he and his friends could go out to a strip club at four 45 in the morning. 10 grand. You go into your wife's room after being out all night while she's there with the kids, wake her ass up and be like, I'm taking 10 grand so I can throw it at other women's tits and see how she fucking reacts to that too i'll be right back yeah of course she would be like you ain't going nowhere motherfucker and then he was like fuck you i'll do what i want which is insanity here this is fucking nuts here um yeah so they took him in for all of that uh they said that he joked about the

arrest he would say that he would like to take us all on and see what we could do. My God. He said he was joking though. Then he said he could escape the handcuffs if he wanted to. And the officers told him that if he continued to resist, they would tase him. And at that point,

at that point, he apologized and complied. He's like, nobody ever put me in that hold before. That'll complied. He's like, nobody ever put me in that hold before. That'll probably work. He's charged with the misdemeanor domestic battery as well as a felony charge for the damage done to the police car. It is more of a crime to headbutt a police car than to fucking hit your wife or your fiance. That is wild. Welcome to Vegas.

Whoa. My fucking mind just went poof. Your wife's face? No problem. The hood of a police car? Felony. Holy shit. At one point, he broke down into tears and was alternating between acting angry and crying.

That's called shit-faced. That's what you do when you're shit-faced. You motherfuckers. You don't understand, man. Get the fuck away from me. Seriously, man. I'm not taking this shit. That's a drunk person.

That's a lot. That's everybody ever on cops. Everybody, yeah. Whoa, they're unpredictable. Better get them in cuffs. He said that they've been through a lot of personal issues and that he's been arguing about the tension between them. And then, yeah, they are.

Took him there. Dana White had something to say about this. He said, quote, It's hard to bring this guy to Las Vegas for any reason. The city is not good for John Jones. And here we are again. Meanwhile, most of the time he gets arrested. It's never in Vegas. It's in Albuquerque.

It's in Ithaca. Quote, it's not even shocking anymore. When we bring him here, it's almost expected. We can't even get him to Las Vegas for less than 12 hours and induct him into the Hall of Fame. It's a problem. This guy's got a lot of demons, man. A lot of demons.

Now, his father would say, in a way, I think John is preaching. Yeah. jesus christ he's at least showing us uh the the ways of sin and how not to live you know how not to live he's doing the opposite which is in a way uh preaching preaching in a way uh now he also few days later posts a video with his fiancee there less than a week later where they're you know kissing and uh they have john legend stay with you playing in the background stop this he posts on instagram ridiculous man ridiculous that's his kobe tattoo that's that's i'm sorry here's my six million dollar ring you get a video of john

legend in the background holy shit october 13th 2021 it's like right up till today uh he's suspended from his gym he's suspended from the gym in albuquerque over this incident the coaches uh the greg jackson and brandon gibson still plan to coach him outside of the gym but the main guy who owns the gym said you're not fucking coming here. Yeah. Yeah. John Jones has been temporarily suspended from training with the Jackson Wink Academy team.

He will continue to train with John offsite as long as he keeps his commitment to a healthy and positive lifestyle. And yeah, they said, quote, I said, John, here's the deal, man. You're like my little brother. You have to stop drinking and fix these things for a certain period of time until you come back to the gym. So at the moment, he's out of the gym. He's not allowed to come in the gym because I feel like I had to do that. Ignoring it and expecting different results, as they say, is insanity.

Right. So, yeah, they said they'll do that. His response is, quote, had a heartbreaking conversation over the phone with my longtime coaches last night. Really hurts to lose the support of someone I respect so much. Sincere thank you to the rest of the coaches for staying in the fight with me. Our journey continues. He then gets a new gym and he says he's got a new home base. Everything's fine and happy and he books his next fight which will be a grappling match with fury professional uh

grappling against the wrestling guy who used to be jack swagger in the wwe oh okay he's also a college i think ncaa champion wrestler or some shit too he's like a real real he was a real like college wrestler because he was on tough enough and that was his thing is like he was a no shit legit college wrestler and uh just had to learn to you know not be so stiff and shit so he's gonna fight that guy in a grappling match so that'll be very interesting i don't know when that's gonna happen um he says breaking news i'm excited to announce i'll be competing for the number one grappling organization in the world fury grappling they have upwards of eight fans um he said he'll be competing against him and then jack swagger guy said i don't know if that's true or not we haven't

really ironed out all the details so who knows then he said that he's clean he's all clean now all clean he said uh i have way too much trauma to consume alcohol anymore. My brain simply can't handle it anymore. I will leave alcohol in my past forever. Now's the time to work harder than ever. Turn this nightmare into the best thing to ever happen to my life. No nightmare. Denny's in Arizona.

Quote. Watch out, Jimmy. It's time to bring out the trusted house sitters. The family and I are spending Thanksgiving in Arizona this year. That was. Oh, my God. Yeah, he'll be out there. Him and his brother might kill you.

You never know. He said. Yeah, that makes sense. Why? OK, why would he be? Why would he be in Arizona? He also said he's looking at some. He might be looking at some real estate out there as well.

Oh, I'm glad that it's too expensive. Yeah, well well he said it's this market's crazy he said be sober-minded be watchful your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour my family my life my career could have been over after what happened in las vegas but god had other plans for me 60 days sober and counting that sounds like preaching and also also, I'm good now. That's what that is. So there's all of that.

He's still on the Monster Energy drink site. He still has a profile of him. They're still sponsoring him. He is a monster, so it makes sense. It's wife beater fuel, apparently. Monster Energy. Drink it, then beat your wife in a fucking Vegas hotel room. Get the fuck out of here. Can't get enough enough you can buy a whole bunch of john jones ufc shit uh pictures are like signed picture for 65 dollars i don't want any of his shit

fuck this guy there's all sorts of shit. You second. I had to. About people drinking monster and beating their family. Well, what are they doing? That's who they're putting up there? It's pretty funny. Our hero. Fucking Jesus.

I mean, if you think of things that people drink before they beat their family, it's that and then Budweiser. That's the two. It's nailing it. That's the fucking two. So that is Jon Bones Jones, everybody. And I'm very glad that we waited for him to marinate and percolate and get to a point of ripeness where we could really pluck him off the tree.

Especially, what if he's clean and sober from now on, never does anything crazy we yeah perfectly nailed it got him don't think that's gonna happen though but you never know yeah if you enjoyed that show please tell the world about it give us a review five stars on whatever app or platform you're listening to it really helps so thank you for doing that in addition to that you can help the show out very easily by going to shut up and give me murder.com. Yes. Get some tickets to live shows. There's a Crime and Sports next August in Sacramento.

Get your tickets now. It's a small club, not a big place. It's going to sell out. Get your tickets now. Also, tickets available. Oh, Boston, I know, is sold out. Seattle's got some. Seattle's got some tickets.

Buy your tickets for Seattle. Portland, nobody's returned those things. Those are solid. We love Portland. Fuck yeah, Portland. We love you. Can't wait. Get those.

Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports this week. Amazing as usual. We do not short you on Patreon. You're getting the goods. This week, by the way, anybody $5 or above, you get access to all of the Patreon for both shows, Small Town Murder and Crime and Sports. Two episodes every couple weeks, four episodes a month. Fun stuff. This week we're going to have for the Crime and Sports episode, it is sports superstitions.

Crazy batshit sports superstitions that athletes need to do things that are weird. And there's been so many of them throughout history this is going to be like hard to pick from to get them all in there then for small town murders episode something that i think everybody should be interested in at least the nexium cult and what the fuck happened there because i've read i've read four books on it now really four i've from different angles people who are in it, a lady who just knew Keith really well. I've read every angle possible, and I think I got this asshole clock pretty good. I won't.

We'll fucking talk about him. Yeah. And how somehow he figured out how to merge a cult and multi-level. He merged Avon and fucking Jonestown together somehow and made a crazy multi-level fucking cult. It's the weirdest shit ever. You got the fucking girl from Small Town. Smallwood? Smallville.

Smallville. And then mixed in fucking in it somehow, which is, I guess, the Jonestown aspect of it. So absolutely crazy shit. Check that out. Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports. And you're going to get a shout out. But if you just want the shout out, we can do that as well go to paypal use our email address crime and sports at gmail.com and we will definitely give you a shout out over that that said i know i know jimmy wants to sing

sing to me in an operatic tone the names of the most wonderful goddamn people this week that would never beat the shit out of us take ten thousand dollars then go to a strip club jimmy hit me with those names like you're john jones this week's executive producers are corporal carl kirschner terry suardos larry butterfast jordan bennett madison oh melissa turner happy birthday ps happy birthday and madison freeman you guys are incredible thank you so much thank you producers this week are Park Gary's daughter, Megan Gary, was in a car accident, James. Her four-month-old baby,

Avon Lee, I think, Grace, she was in, she's fine, unharmed, but the car, James, listen, if you're going to Uber,

motherfuckers, knock it off. They're four-month-old kids in cars out there, and you can hurt people and pregnant ladies like john bones jones we found out miraculous that's amazing it's amazing congratulations we're happy you saw the car james you'd lose your mind that's frightening hang in there megan uh get better and your husband as well uh also other producers this week liz vasquez thanks for coming to the show liz it was great yeah great to see you. Yeah, great to see you. James Marder, Sky Lolo, and the Haiti Kid.

Shit of Pearlman. That's a little people tag team. It's Gary Friedman. He's fucking amazing. He knows the old wrestling. King Kong Mosca. You know that one as well? That's Angelo Mosca.

70s and 80s. Fucking mainly 70s guy. Star. I think Gary's showing his age with these references. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. These are before my time. He digs so deep.

I'm a student of the game. There you go. Peyton Meadows, Prom Night Dumpster Baby. That's what it is. Prom Night Dumpster Baby. It's a Family Guy song. All right. Happy birthday, Libby.

Zumbiland Wychkowski, I think. Jordan Schmood. Cliff Martz, Doug Jones, Avon. Jordan Schmood. Cliff Martz. Doug Jones. Avin Mergen. John Yerr in Minnesota, I think. Happy birthday, Johnny. Jason Dingus.

Jason Dingus. These people's names are for real, by the way. I think there's three in here that donated because their last name is Dingus. I saw them commenting about it. I was like, that's hilarious. Janice Welmers passed away. Sorry about that, Andrew. Hang in there, buddy. I saw them commenting about it. I was like, that's hilarious. Janice Welmers passed away. Sorry about that, Andrew. Hang in there, buddy.

I think it's his grandma. He's a good kid. That sucks. Nancy Weaver, Steve Schnell, Sammy Dingus Quigley, Janice Hill, Samantha, nope, Susanna Platt, Happy Hour checking in from Crossville, Tennessee, Michael Purney, Mr. Fun, Anna Watson, Heavy Metal Bluegrass, Brooke Harper, Jordan Upham, Melissa Krizwiki. Krizwiki? You cry whiskey sometimes.

I mostly sweat it. Jason Fifield, Deva with no last name, Soraya Sajadian. Malicious Hat. Julian Manti. Tamara Galger. Jeff Green. Sean Musburger. Molly with no last name. Mike Duh.

Chase Morgan. Laura Gilchrist. Angela Palmer. Caitlin Wedgwood. Joe Monahan. Amanda Armstrong. Joe Lynn Curran. Happy birthday.

Jay Wilkinson. G and H told us to tell you that. Kendrick Rand. Amanda Armstrong, Joe Lynn Curran, happy birthday. Jay Wilkinson, G&H, told us to tell you that. Kendrick Rand, call sign Matora. I don't know what that is. Alasdair? I don't know. Call sign? Is that like Top Gun? Maybe. I don't know. Like Maverick?

Is that a call sign? Matora? Matora? Is that a thing? Maybe. Alasdair Young, Brittany Worth, and San Bernardino. Thank you, Brittany. Kaylee Greer, Annabelle Mankey. Mankey, Mankey. Rebecca True, Gary Donnan, Laurel Mattson Bonner, Angelo, fuck, Allerid, Rachel Hagen,

Nicole Aggressor, John Oswald, Colton with no last name, Tara Layton, Christopher Margolin, Gavin, oh, fucking, what is this, Locher Reacher, close enough. That's great. Tara Gonzalez, Clay Mahagan, Kay Bear, yes, Karen Drusendahl, Andrea Lest, Kimberly Sullivan, Brandon Gunn, Tyler Wells, Taylor Sabini, John and Annie Trimble, Jesse Skrzekowski, Brandon Self, Laura Albertson, Kristen Halderman, Cassidy Ann Preston-Wolf, Zach Harmeyer, Dee with no last name, Michelle McCauley, Heather Brianna, Amber with no last name, Sharon with no last name, Lucas with no last name, Hillary Roberts, Nick Boyles, Keith Jones, Kat Winchester, Kristen C, Kim with no last name, Matthew VanLandingham,

Hanny with no last name, Michael Musick, Denise Mastrucci, Dylan and Jimmy both with no last name, Ben McKee, Suka, okay, Paine, are you proud of yourself? Suka, myipine, you son of a bitch. Very. Roz Odell.

Heather Cochran. Amanda Conlon. Tasha with no last name. Matt Nicholson. Char Kramer. Kraut Kramer. Kraut Kramer. That's one.

Fucks German girls. Bailey Chapman. Jake Young. Zara. Z cod oh boy cod walla walla uh benjamin zara sarman that's a real last name james probably not the way it's said maybe probably not i'll bet i was close jesse beard kylie nolan aaron uh dalky yuli would know last name. Karina Sieber. Tucker Modler. Laurel Smith. Sylvia. Sylvia. Sylvia.

Sylvia Fisher. I'd still, whatever. Rob Naylor. I hardly know her. Austin Holmes. Colby would know last name. Kathy Moore. Jamie Fuller.

Christopher Roberto. Take my wife, please. I'd take my wife everywhere, but she finds a way home. Charlie Drolet. Irving Mesvidal, Pam Smith, Lacey Beachy, Robbie Arnold, Daniel Sokolski, Edwin Snell, Maria, Elizabeth Barnes, Colby, Colby McIntosh, Tom Jump, Grim Mystery Podcast, Barnes, Colby, Colby McIntosh, Tom Jump, Grim Mystery Podcast, Kyle McKay, Stephanie DeGesere. I'm sorry, James. Don't be mad at me.

Mark Green, Gayla Ignacio, Jill Cook, Donya Parr, Jordan Stuckey. Oh, boy. G. Gow. Went to see my doc. They gave me six months to live. Told him I couldn't pay the bill. He gave me another six months. Jordan Stuckey. Lauren

Flake. John Petrowski. Dylan Meyer. My mom used to say I was ugly. She was so ugly she gave me a toaster to play with in the bathtub. Johnny Stackhouse. Emily Siminek. Jen Katz. John Gleason. Probably Jackie's kid. Alex Below. Marcella with no last name, Cash with no last name, Stephen Vega, Derek Allen, Nathan Gass, Plasos, Dave Gamblin, William Lohr Sr., and also Melissa Noor-fucking-what-Viramilli, I think.

I don't know. And all of our patrons you guys do everything for us and we can't thank you enough thank you thank you so much everybody for all that you do for us we couldn't do anything

without you honestly you're the lifeblood of this show so thank you so much for supporting it and we just hope you love the fucking Patreon and the bonus episodes

and we hope you do because we love making them and you seem to enjoy them. So, Jimmy, what if they wanted to enjoy you? How could they do that outside of the show? We are two hours plus into this. Damn near three. You've enjoyed me enough.

Word about you, James. That's it. Just look us up. Yeah, you look up Crime and Sports Hosts. That's us. You'll find us. That sounds good. Both of us will be there.

Probably pictures and everything. I'll bet. You can follow us. It's the whole thing. There's the internet. It's crazy. It's us will be there. Probably pictures and everything. I bet. You can follow us. It's the whole thing. You know, there's the internet. It's crazy. It's a banana's place. That said, hope you enjoyed everything.

And we'll have more shit to enjoy next week live from the Crime and Sports Studios. We will see you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.