Crime in Sports - #30 - The World's Most Graceful Predator - The Sleaziness of Wolfgang Scwarz

Episode Date: August 23, 2016

This week, we look at an Olympic gold medalist, and world class human garbage pile. He went from being one of his country's biggest heroes, to being known for his heinous crimes, including the international smuggling of women, and putting together plots to kidnap billionaire's daughters for ransom. Just when you think he can't be any worse of a person, he becomes friends with some even worse people, while serving time for his awful acts, forming maybe the most horrible little gang in history. He's crazy. He's evil. And he is a complete idiot. Slip on your bedazzled leotard, leap into the air, and hope to be judged kindly with Wolfgang Scwarz!! Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman New episodes every Tuesday!!Please subscribe, rate, and review!Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Head to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Crime in Sports!For merchandise: crimeinsports.threadless.comCheck out James and Jimmie's other show: Small Town Murder Follow us on social media!Facebook: facebook.com/crimeinsportsInstagram: instagram.com/smalltownmurderTwitter: twitter.com/MurderSmall Contact the show: [e-mail] on Patreon: patreon.com/crimeinsportsPayPal: paypal.me/crimeinsports See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. The Queen of the Courtroom is back. How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie Hello everybody and welcome back to Crime and Sports. Yay! Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Crime and Sports. Yay!

Yay, yay, yay. We are coming live to you here from the new Crime and Sports studio, so we're very excited about that. Super amped. Any kind of sound issues you might hear on this episode, whether it be a little echo here and there or possibly a cricket somewhere, just be advised. We apologize. We'll have it fixed by next week. We just moved into this place and we're trying

to figure out the lay of the land here. It's interesting. Forgive us. Forgive us very much. Our first hurdles that we got to challenge. Our first hurdles.

It doesn't matter because this story is so goddamn cool that it doesn't matter where we bring it. We could be in a field somewhere in a tornado and you guys would, it's worth it to listen to this.

So this isn't that bad, trust me. But yeah, we have a very interesting tale tonight. I'm James Petragallo, by the way. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wisman. Had to get that out of the way. We have to introduce ourselves like professionals here. Thank you guys so much once again.

Also, too, I really want to thank everybody for the iTunes reviews this week. We got some really cool iTunes reviews. So sweet. Really good ones. We really appreciate that, guys. Thank you so much. A lot of people, they'll read them on the air. I don't know if that's a good thing to do or not because I look at it and I'm like, on one hand,

people seem to like it if you read the reviews on the air. On the other hand, I feel like an asshole reading complimentary shit about us. I feel like I'm bragging. I only want to read the negative ones, but then that'll just encourage people to say negative shit. Exactly, yeah. It's like showing the guy running on the field in baseball on TV. They cut away so you don't encourage that behavior. And you know what?

Let me walk that back real quick. The negative one. We've done very well. Our listeners have been very sweet. We've had one person say something negative about me. Yeah. Not even us. It was just me. It was us. It was us. our listeners have been very sweet we've had one person say something negative about me yeah and not even us it was just me it was us it was us he just your cackle wanted him to to uh commit murder i believe which i can understand that but it makes me laugh wasn't necessarily even cackle

he said hideous laugh hideous laugh yeah that's right i was being it's odd when cackle is the polite term that i use there no doubt but no it no, it's, it's, that's ridiculous. We have a good time. And thank you guys so much for having such a good time with us. I love that we've found such a crazy group of people. The people we interact with on Twitter, all these people, I just love that we found like-minded people that are like, God damn it. These athletes are assholes.

Yeah. They're scumbags. Thank you for trashing them. It's great. And I just, that's amazing. Because that was one of the things in the beginning we didn't know. We're like, is anybody going to get this? Are people going to just think that we are just assholes?

No. And we're not. There are sick people in this world that enjoy our sickness. Yeah. And like Connor Gillespie, that kid is, his Twitter picture is terrifying. Oh, it is. I don't know what that is, but it's scary. And then the guy, there's a what that is, but it's scary.

And then there's a golfer guy, Rob Delamorte. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a PGA guy. Really? And he likes our shit, too. And I dig that. It's cool, man. That's the variety.

You've got guys that play golf, that wear collared shirts and shit. And then you've got this weirdo with a white face and red rings around his eyes. And a lot of, like, 40-year-old women. And they have shit in common. Yeah. That's so deranged. Yeah. This world is fucking bizarre.

And the good Reverend Jonathan Gillian. And a bunch of 40-year-old... You got a Marine? And a bunch of 40-year-old women gather together to talk about this. And it's just, I love it. A bunch of 40-year-old women jogging on treadmills saying that we make... Yes, and we love you 40-year-old women,

true crime fans. Thank you guys. We love you so much. They say that it makes their treadmill session go faster. And people like this guy with a white face and red rings around his eyes, he digs it too. It's so bizarre that you can find somebody that are worlds apart in terms of appearance and their lifestyle, yet what they're interested in is the same thing and most people that listen to this aren't really interested in the sports there are

some i'm sure yeah but most people just want to hear about somebody that had it all that fucking blew it that's the point of it and we will bring them to you in spades and also we're going to have an announcement guys crime and sports listeners the people who like what we do we're going to have an announcement very very soon about a little expansion like what we do. We're going to have an announcement very, very soon about a little expansion of what we do. We've been discussing this a lot. Yeah, we've been discussing this for months now, how to kind of go from

here, and we have a little expansion planned that you guys are going to enjoy. We're not blaming it on you, but we're really putting the onus on all of you that are listening for making us have this conversation. Because when we started this thing, we knew that, I mean, eventually you run out of people to talk about. It's quite a ways down the road.

Yeah, we have years to go. Plenty of time. But the expansion of our audience has been so rapid and so big that we have to start talking about expanding. So that's what we're going to do. We're going to go into other specific genres and it's going to be very cool. We'll tell you more about that to come in the next two weeks. But that's the gist of it. We're going to expand because you guys are fucking awesome. So as long as you keep listening, this can go forever.

And again, you just said it. We should both be saying it. Thank you guys so much for giving us a platform and somewhere to discuss things. Because this is a blast. We love it. Absolutely. And also, thank you to the UK also. Because you guys.

Holy shit. I'm telling you, man. I'm shocked. I don't know if anybody's seen Major League Two. Major League Two, the manager, Lou, the guy who talks like this, he is in the hospital and he's not supposed to have any stress.

He's had like a heart attack or something and he's supposed to be listening to English public television is what he's like listening to on English public broadcasting. It's supposed to be some play or something.

He's listening to his team that he manages. He's listening to their World Series game instead and when they win, he freaks out. He's like, yeah, yeah. And they're like,

what's going on? And he goes, I love this shit and I'm moving to England. That's how we feel right now. I want a picture of Lou sitting there in the hospital bed going, I love this shit

and I'm moving to England. I love you guys and I'm moving to England. This shit is amazing. England is fantastic. The UK is amazing. Just all of Europe has really embraced us

incredibly. Thank you, guys. It's incredible. So, with that said, we're bringing you somebody European. We're going with the Olympic theme tonight. Now, we thought about it, and we thought a lot about this. And, I mean, we could go Oscar Pistoris. We could do that.

But if you want to hear about Oscar Pistoris... Turn on CNN. I'm going to tell you guys right now, there's people who are much better at this than us who you can go listen to. Journalists who have all the facts currently as they go on the ground right now. They're at fucking court proceedings. They're hearing it all from us. You need to hear that from us in two years when you forget about it.

When everybody's forgotten about it, we'll refresh your memory and we'll make fun of that legless bastard. Tanya Harding, when she'd bash a chick with a club, had somebody do that, and then got a DUI later on. Right. What fun is that? You know what I'm saying? She's just white trash. Just white trash.

Yeah. We're not just going to celebrate her white trash and one assault and a DUI. Come on, get the hell out of here. That's not a crime and sports resume, guys. No. That is not a crime and sports resume at all. We could have covered Hitler. That's a crime and sports resume. guys. No. That is not a crime and sports resume at all. We could have covered Hitler.

That's a crime and sports resume. Crime and art. You know, because he's an artist and we can go crime and art and Hitler. Episode one, Hitler.

Well, his venture into the Olympics was pretty well documented. That's true. We could discuss that and then just discuss the Holocaust, but that's no fun.

We're not going to get into Hitler today. Right. But we'll's no fun. We're not going to get into Hitler today. Right. But we'll visit his fucking country. We are going to get into an Austrian. Shit yeah we will. Another Austrian. Yes.

And he's Wolfgang Schwarz. Yes. And I believe that's how you say it. We did a little research on this. Wolfgang Schwarz, he is a gold medalist Olympic figure skater. All right. And he did some gnarly, wrong, grim shit after his heyday. Outside of his triple what?

Oh, man, it's a disaster. So let's get right into old Wolfgang here. I love his name. First, I'm going to have fun saying Wolfgang 400 times this episode. That sounds like a serial murderer. It does, doesn't it? Wolfgang, that scares the fuck out of me. Funny enough, wait till you hear who he hangs out with later on.

Odd that you said that. There's going to be some true crime heavy hitters that he comes in contact with and befriends later on. And we're going to have a ball with that. But right away, he's born September 14, 1947. So he's a 68 Olympian. All right. We'll get into that. He's born in Vienna, Austria.

He's an old man. He's an old man now. He's 5'10", 154 pounds. He's a figure skater. So, you know, we're not looking at a guy who's 210 at this point. He's tiny. He's a tiny little guy. You know, he's running around. And this was in an era, and we're going to get into this, where all the figure skaters were straight. What? All the male figure skaters. I never knew there was an era of that. That's the, who would have thought, right? We all just learned something.

We all just learned something. But at least they pretended to be straight and pretended to the point of having wives. Really? So that's, that's a weird, I kept reading this guy's wife

and this guy's wife and I'm like, who are these people? These guys are straight? They go out there and do flips and turns and glitter and then they,

they're interviewed afterwards and they just have to eat puss like right on camera. That's it. They have to. Just to prove it. Just be like, this is, that's not what I do. I don't suck cock and play with glitter. Well, they straighten out the feathers that their wife sewed on their outfit. I'm sorry, I have vagina juice in these feathers. I have a little bit. So he grows up. Now, he's childhood friends with a girl named Gertie Vioplasol. And this becomes his future wife. He knows. She sounds hideous.

She sounds very Austrian. And he is very Austrian. These are the whitest people on the face of the earth. Wolfgang Schwarz, just if there was a spokesman for white people globally, he would be the guy. He'd just be out there going, hello, I speak for the white people. We apologize. We apologize. We'd like sunscreen.

Right. He would be the fucking guy. So he's friends with her. Both their mothers were tennis players at the Vienna Tennis Club. So they would play tennis and leave these two to dick around and presumably diddle each other and God knows what. God knows what else. They would play for hours as children at the Vienna tennis club.

And God, I can only imagine the botchery they got into. So they become friends all through their childhood. And then in their teen years, they become, you know, boyfriend, girlfriend, obviously the next progression. They played doctor a little bit. And now they've been playing it since they were seven. And now they're like, hey, let's really... You're familiar with this down here. I'm familiar with that down there. It's the 60s. Let's put rings on this. Yeah. I don't know how the 60s were in Austria. I don't know if Austria had the 60s. Right. Did you guys have a drive-in and a sock hop and all that shit? That's the 50s. I'm talking, talking like did they have a late 60s where like people were pissed off yeah late 60s were much different

and they were you know were you guys smoking weed and like being angry and throwing rocks at cops and getting tear gassed and shit

kicking old people in the balls and killing old people to fuck off anyway both of them skated they were both skaters ice skaters at the time

but Gertie her true passion was tennis she concentrated on tennis oh she became a really really good tennis player really at one point she is the second ranked female tennis player in Austria holy she's a great tennis player he's a great figure skater yeah they're gonna make you know happy little kids here that can skate and jump and everything else so uh as we approach the 60s olympics here 1961 the entire united states now he's skating for austria yeah obviously but the entire united states men's skating team

was wiped out in a plane crash over brussels oh my god i've wished for that for the raiders so many times this is so funny it's like george costanza on seinfeld when he meets keith hernandez like we are marshall yeah the first thing he asks is, don't you find it funny with all those teams playing around and none of them ever just go down

and lose a whole team? We lost all the figure skaters, or all the skaters, I guess. So like, the U.S. was trying to rebuild their skating team because everyone was dead.

Coaches, players, all of them. I've never even heard of that. I had no idea. I didn't know that. We lost an entire Olympic team?

Yeah. Holy shit, that's amazing. That's why John Madden drives the bus everywhere. Yeah, he saw that. He was around then, and he knew. So they come up 1967. They're getting, him and Gertie are very close.

They get engaged in 1967. All right. Imagine that. They've known each other since they were five. Their whole lives. And then they're engaged, and they're going to get married. And wait until you hear what they do after they get married after the Olympics.

That's so weird. It's insane. You're like, how do these people not just want to set each other on fire? Yeah. Like, never mind kill each other. It's got to be with extreme prejudice

not spending that much time with a person. It's terrible. So, March 2nd, 1967, Wolfgang wins the silver medal in the World Figure Skating Championship. That's a big deal. And they have those on TV now, the World Figure Skating. It's's a big deal. And they have those on TV now,

the World Figure Skating. It's not the Olympics, but it's like the Olympics of figure skating and just figure skating. Mark Hamill's there with his bald head. Yeah, every former

gold medalist they can fucking dig out of an alcohol suit. That little Asian girl. They prop him up in front of the camera and they go,

here, tell us what a triple lutz is or whatever. Get out there. Wipe the AIDS off you for a minute and take us take a fucking stand on the podium so that's that's a little stereotypical but what are you gonna do listen i don't know fuck about figure skating i have no idea i just know that's a bunch of talented gay dudes that right jump around it's really impressed by it it's incredible that johnny weir is insane. That's insane. I'm 6'4".

I look funny jumping around on ice skates, I think. I think Johnny Weir's tall. Is he that tall? I don't know if he's that tall. I can Google. That's pretty goddamn tall. I don't know how big of a gay guy that is, but I think he's a big guy. I don't know.

He seems like he would be like a little petite guy. I feel like he's big. I don't know if I've ever seen him. I don't know if I could pick Johnny Weir out of the lot. Really? Oh, he looks just like Clay Aiken. No fucking idea. Looks exactly like he's big. I don't know if I've ever seen him. I don't know if I could pick Johnny Weir. Really? Oh, he looks just like Clay Aiken. Looks exactly like Clay Aiken. So he's definitely gay. So gay. Holy shit. Not that there's anything... Look at this guy.

So gay. He does look like Clay Aiken. Exactly like Clay Aiken. That's really weird. Yeah. Guys, Google fucking Johnny Weir. Oh, he's not that big. He's 5'9". Yeah, see? Google Johnny Weir and you're going to be blown away. If you don't know who he is, you're going to be blown away with how much he looks like Clay Aiken. You're going to be like, if you don't know who he is you're gonna be blown away with how much he looks like

Clay Aiken you're gonna be like that guy didn't win American Idol he looks just like him I'm 6'4 195 pounds picture me going across the ice

with spandex and feathers and bedazzled shit all over me trying to it would look ridiculous now I know

why they're gay cause that just got me hard as fuck you're a special case you're a special case It would look ridiculous. Now I know why they're gay, because that just got me hard as fuck. You're a special case, baby. You're a special case. So anyway, he wins the silver in 67. We're getting out of here.

He wins the silver in 67, World's Figure Skating Championships. He's behind fellow Austrian and heavy favorite, Emmerich Danzer. This Emmerich Danzer is like, he the man. He is like just the acknowledged hot shit king of fuck mountains you know, figure skater. They just bow to Emmerich Danzer. And every

article I read they're all like well Emmerich Danzer I mean good god. Obviously it's coming from someone who knows nothing about it. Fuck you Emmerich Danzer. What did you do? What did you do for yourself? I don't know you. This is hysterical.

The names alone are just retarded. Oh, you're going to hear me mispronounce this shit out of a bunch. Once I get into prosecutors and justice, who the hell knows what these names are? Yeah, this Emmerich Danzer looks like a complete gay dude, too. But that's a straight man, isn't he? Emmerich Danzer. Yeah, at the time.

Well, I mean, he's plain. Off the ice, he looks like Tom Brokaw. Oh, yeah, yeah. In like a suit and his hair all pomodoro. But on the ice, no straight man

does that stuff. Nobody does. That's impressive, man. It really is. Once again, I'd look ridiculous doing any of these. Absolutely.

Completely ridiculous. It all reminds me of Blades of Glory. Just that movie, Blades of Glory. It feels like they were just lampooning all of this. I've got to describe that. It's bad radio not to describe

what I just saw. Jimmy just showed me a picture of a man who appears to be sitting flat but levitating in the air with his leg under himself and one shot out in another direction. He looks like he's just doing the

what was that dancer? Fred Astaire. He looks like he's just doing the, what was that dancer's name? Fred Astaire. Yeah. He looks like he's just Fred Astaire-ing on skates. He's doing like a flash dance move, it looks like, basically. With his hands out near Jeff's hands. He has some leg warmers.

He's going to be great. So, anyway, he finishes second behind Danzer. Now, there's some controversy in this whole competition. There's controversy with the judge, which I found interesting as shit, because judging, to me, is nuts. I'm going to jump up in the air on ice skates and spin around and land.

And then you're going to parse out what my new... 9.2, no, 9.4. You know, like, what are you fucking... Who knows? Who cares? It's all so arbitrary anyway. This doesn't surprise me. One of the judges has said... I love in the paper, too.

This is an article from 1967, of the judges who said, I love in the paper too, this is an article from 1967, so the times are a little different. She is quoted as her name being quote, Mrs. James Sullivan.

Wow. Women didn't even have first names in the 60s. Wow. Not even a first name. And she's like a judge for...

That is so insulting. She's got a title. She's doing a job. She's got something. For the World Figure Skating Championships and they're still calling her her husband's name. title. She's doing a job. She's got something. For the World Figure Skating Championships. And they're still calling her her husband's name.

This is James Sullivan of Omaha, Nebraska. That's what they call it. Now, her husband is an Air Force general. So I don't know if maybe that helps any. Air Force is one of our... Gives her more credit. Branches of military, obviously. So, I mean... And a general in it is some fucking might.

Yeah, he's probably just... She was just afraid if she didn't quote... If she didn't say she was Mrs. James Sullivan, he'd get home, read the article, beat the shit out of her. Right. Probably drop her out of a jet

or something. Slam her in the head with his fucking highball bottle. Apparently she's accused of favoring Americans and judging. Okay. And also blasted

by the Austrians, she gave Danzer like the lowest possible scores. And like everyone else gave him the best possible scores. He's the best figure skater in the world. scores and like everyone else gave him the best possible scores he's the best figure skater in the world

and she was like trying to lower out his curve a little bit trying to flatten his curve to drop there oh she's great yeah the Austrian vice president

of the international skating union said she will be suspended as a judge oh jeez it's going bad here I mean not for nothing though she favors

Americans yeah you could be favoring people but I mean just look at nothing, though. She favors Americans. Yeah, you could be favoring people. But, I mean, just look at it. Everybody favors us. Listen, motherfucker. You don't be favoring people when you're judging figure skating. You understand?

I mean, all she'd have to do is after throwing her score up, just be like, come on, he's not American. Let's be honest. I mean, but he is. He's great, but he's not American. That's right. In fact, then people were like, I understand. If it was in the States, now it would be even worse probably

because people are bigger assholes. I'd give these people higher scores because they don't have, I mean, in the 60s, they didn't have what we had. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's a higher score. Great triple lots. You don't even smoke weed.

That's amazing. Good job. Good for you. You haven't even had the 60s. You don't even have Jimi Hendrix. Right. Good for you you you've never heard of janice joplin 9.8 so he does well here he does basically give you a little rundown of his figure skating career because i don't know shit about it i'm just gonna tell you medals here european championships he wins the silver in 66 67 68 always behind dancer uh-huh he's always in first in the world championships

in 66 and 67 he wins the silver also then we get to the 1968 Grenoble the winter games in Grenoble

France now Grenoble France I know where Grenoble is only by when they introduced Andre the Giant

as a wrestler he was from Grenoble in the French Alps. Hilarious. The only reason why I know where this is is because I watched wrestling when I was a child. And I know Andre the Giant was from there.

Rest in peace, Andre. And Andre, the great part is, Andre hadn't started wrestling yet. He was probably wandering around during this. He saw this. He knew who he was. That's what I mean. He probably watched this shit.

This was a big deal to him. Yeah, I don't know. This was his first star. Grenoble's like a mountain town. I can't imagine. I think if the Olympics are going on, everyone's going to watch probably. I imagine, yeah. I'm sure the tickets weren't that expensive back then.

It wasn't like international. If you've got TVs in there, I don't even know what they've got in that town. Who the fuck knows? It's an Alps town. Who cares? Moving on. So, the 68 Olympics. He ends up winning the gold.

Uh-huh. Mr. Schwartz here. And behind him is a guy named Tim Wood. He's an American skater. And just remember his name because we'll talk about him for a second a little later. But finishes just behind Wolfgang. I'll give you the points totals here. Yeah, I'm getting stats from him. My goodness, James.

Dude, this story, guys, it takes place, like most of the crime, it takes place in Austria. Yeah. It is not easy to find shit. Yeah, they don't have public records. I don't know how to search Austrian public records.

Like, the articles... They don't have a county superior court. No, the articles are all in other languages. I don't even know what language I'm translating it to. I think it's fucking German. I don't know. Like, this is what I'm trying to...

This is what I've been doing, guys. I'm working on it. We're sweating over this one. But I got good stuff. I'm telling you. You're going to enjoy this. I can't wait. It's crazy.

So anyway, here's the points totals they had. Wolfgang had 1,904.1 points. Sounds like a lot. It sounds like a lot. And Wood, at the end of everything, had 1,891.6 points. So he crushed him. But no, that's very close.

13 points is extremely close. That's like fractions here and there. Right, that's what I'm saying. In terms of fractions, when they get fractions and it adds up to 10 points or 13 point difference, that's a lot.

That's a lot, but I mean these two were far and away ahead of everybody else. So they were getting the bulk of the points. Close, yeah. And they were making a big deal of it because this guy, Wood, was trying to resurrect the American program after everyone died in a plane crash. So he was like, everyone was like, if he does well,

everyone was just so excited for him because it's like, hey, he's not dead, and he's skating, and if we meddle, terrific. He still draws wind, and he's spinning around on two blades. Absolutely. So Wolfgang wins the gold on Marchdle, terrific. He still draws wind and he's spinning around on two blades. Absolutely. So Wolfgang wins the gold on March 16th, 1968. And he is just all in his white glory. It's ridiculous. You want to see a guy look whiter?

Put him on the ice. He looks even whiter. It's ridiculous. So this son of a bitch here. He ends up four days after he's done. Everything happens in four days with this guy. Four day increments. Four days after he wins the gold, he signs with the Icecapades.

What? We all know what the Icecapades are. I've seen that shit. The Icecapades have gone out of favor, I guess, probably recently. But back in the day, that was like the camp. And it wasn't camp back in the day day but it was just like they get stars of the Olympics and I don't know

if they have this in the rest of the world. Big guys. They get all the Olympic stars people that you've seen on TV that you will draw

and they put them in a big show and they do this big musical numbers and all this shit and that's what they do. They dress up

like Disney characters now. They tour back then they were touring nine months a year straight. Oh my god. So these guys were just on the road.

That's a job. Oh, it's a job. It's what they're doing. My goodness. When you win the gold, and then you go... Your goal... Get paid well at the escapades. Jeez, fuck.

What a sad life. It is. But it's interesting, too. Your goal is to get into the escapades. Or icecapades. Icecapades, yeah. And it's such an odd little troupe they have here. I'll explain this little icecapade troupe.

This is so... I never thought I'd be talking about 1968 ice capades troupes when I got into crime and sports. But it's relevant. It's germane to the whole thing. Trust me, it's ridiculous here. So April 16, 1968 is exactly one month of the day after he wins his gold. He marries his childhood sweetheart, Gertie. All right. So right now, think about it.

He has just won a gold. Yeah, he's on top of theie. Alright. So right now think about it. He is just won a gold. Yeah, he's on top of the world. Signed with the Icecapades. He married his sweetheart child. I mean he's living the dream. Living the fucking dream. The dream of every ice skater. He's on top. He is. The dream of every ice skater.

It's so sad. It's so sad. I want to travel around to towns like... Put on a tight fucking leotard to towns like spokane give them all i got every night dance on ice to fucking sarah mclaughlin jesus if you're lucky yeah if you're lucky how depressing back then who knows what they were dancing and they're so happy about it oh they're thrilled these people were through and the wedding apparently this wedding was like a big, big to do.

Yeah, in Austria. It was like, you know, the Princess Di and Charles and Di getting married. Yeah, some royalty. Yeah, Gertie said, quote, it was a fairytale wedding.

There were 3,000 cheering fans waiting for us when we came out of the church. Wow. That's crazy. He was a national hero. I had 100 people at my wedding.

Yeah. Well, he was a national hero. He just won a gold medal and it was a month later so he was still hot. Like wedding. Well, he was a national hero. He just won a gold medal. And it was a month later. So he was still hot. Back then, stories didn't go away in two days. By the end of our wedding, when we came out, nobody was there. No, they were all drunk and passed out.

I don't have 3,000 people screaming. 3,000 waiting for you. That's a lot. Oh, my God. Jimmy Westman. Holy shit. We love you. It's you.

You're in the talks. So four days later There's no ice. Four days later. Did they throw ice at them? That would be amazing. Wouldn't that be great? That would fit them. Just drill them with ice cubes as they come out. They didn't want to throw rice because they didn't want them to feel bad that something was whiter than that.

Right. No doubt. So they were like, don't throw rice. We'll just make them feel bad. Ice cubes are better. I'd love to just pelt somebody in the face with an ice cube

in celebration of something that would feel good we'll do cubes we'll do the crush handfuls of it there you go congratulations chuck a handful

of crushed ice that won't kill any birds no no it'll all melt refreshing harmlessly it's Austria.

There's probably six inches of snow on the ground at all times anyway. Just pick up a ball and throw snowballs at it. Again, the whiteness. Never mind.

Stick to ice. Too white. Sorry. Too white. Make them feel bad. So April 20th, 1968. This is four days after marriage.

They leave Austria for the U.S. and to start the whole Ice Capades rehearsal, whatever they're putting together. Life has begun. Life has begun.

Life has begun for him. And this is their honeymoon. Their honeymoon is going to tour with the Ice Capades. Which is insane. Now, like I said, at this point she was the number two ranked tennis player in all of Austria Gertie. But she gives it up to go on the road with him with the Ice Capades.

So she's sacrificed. She's sacrificed. She gives it up, says, I want to go hang out with Wolfgang all over rural America. Let's do this. Let's go to fucking Omaha. Let's go to Omaha, guys. Locked and loaded. So they're going.

And she said about the Ice Capades, too, then what she ends up getting involved here, she says, quote, I girty here, I just couldn't sit on the sidelines. Next to tennis, skating is my first love, and it's fun being a part of Wolfgang's work, even though I have Gertie here, I just couldn't sit on the sidelines. Next to tennis, skating is my first love and it's fun being a part of Wolfgang's work. Even though I work harder, he only skates two numbers while I appear in six.

Oh, burn. He's a draw, so they only have to put him out there for two numbers. Just for a minute. She's a space filler. We need an extra chick out there on the end of the line. I'm not even busting my ass for his dream. Yeah, get your ass out there, honey. So, yeah, she chick out there on the end of the line there. I'm not even busting my ass for his dream. Yeah. Get your ass out there,

honey. So, yeah, she's out there skating around and the thing is, it's like all couples, this thing. The ice capades

are all couples. It's all married couples. It's like the fucking, the, what do they call that? The Ren Faire on ice? That's basically what this is?

Kind of, yeah, but for talented people with, you know, something to offer the yeah. But for talented people. Yeah. With, you know, something to offer the world. You know, things like that. With a dream to be in this, too.

Talent. The people on Ren Faire are just like, well, maybe I'll just join the Ren Faire. Maybe I'll join. Yeah, I don't think they're rejecting you if you can't do a triple

sow cow or whatever the fuck. I know nothing about ice skating. The Ren Faire, if you can swallow a sword, you're in. So at this point, they like to just watch movies, and they say TV and movies help them learn English, because they're still trying to learn English at this point.

Yeah, that's crazy. So they're on their honeymoon in the ice capades trying to learn English, just going to a different shithole town every week. Imagine how horrible that is. And in rural America, where the dialect changes from town to town, too, and they've got to adapt to that shit. That must have freaked them out. Oh, my God.

From southern Alabama to fucking Omaha. So it probably just ended up they just watched TV. She talked like Lucille Ball and you talked like Desi Arnaz. Why does he have a Cuban accent? Why is this Austrian dude? He's the whitest person I've ever seen. He's got a Cuban accent. He's frosty. Why does he keep saying,

Lucy, I'm home? Lucy, I'm home? What are you talking about? So they do all this shit. They bowl in the company bowling league. Unbelievable. Which is hilarious. Two Austrian people just like,

we go bowling? Yes, yes. That's ridiculous. We throw a bowl. Do they bowl over there? Maybe they do bowl over there. Maybe. I think they curl.

They probably bowl because bowling's big in Wisconsin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of German influence there. All right. Or Wisconsin. There is a lot. I never realized that. Wisconsin is heavily German influenced.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wisconsin, Minnesota. Fucking salty and soury foods. Yeah, the beer. The beer and fat people. Jesus. And whiteness. White.

White. Holy white. You've got to pronounce that. White.iteness. White. Holy white. You've got to pronounce that out. White. It's that white. So white. It's ridiculous. They like to have

other couples over for midnight dinners. That's their social life. Oh, boy. Because they all, they do the skating. Nothing good happens after midnight, brother.

Well, back then, that was just, they were like, imagine these, like, mid-60s martinis, martini parties. Like, hey, guys. She said, quote, the best time for us to see each other was after the show.

We pretend that it's only 8 instead of midnight. So Gertie's a happy girl. It's just like comedy. Gertie, you're a good woman, Gertie. But Gertie, you've got it made and you don't even know it. Yeah, Gertie's a... You're bitching about working harder than him. Yeah, I don't even know if he's...

Yeah, they have this little sarcastic relationship. I'll get to a funny quote from him later that really cements that. So now we have December 18th through the 25th, this is. It's 1968. This ad runs on December 18th and it's hilarious, right?

I found this ad in the paper. It was an article about something else, and it had a big ad for the Ice Capades in it. The ad is amazing. And the things that it's competing with for your entertainment dollar in Spokane, Washington in 1968 are even better. It's so damn funny. So they spend a week in Spokane, Washington from the 18th to the 25th, Gertie and Wolfgang, waiting for the ice capades

to start because the ice capades are kicking off their season on Christmas Day in Spokane, Washington. Merry fucking Christmas. Either come watch this or you can watch an evergreen grove.

Just stand out in the rain. Either one. That's what we got to offer you. Want to look for Bigfoot? Yeah. No? All right, that's it. I'm out of ideas. Want to go watch a bridge? Would. No? All right, that's it. I'm out of ideas.

Want to go watch a bridge? Would you like some salmon? No? Okay, I don't know then. So Wolfgang, in this article, I love this too, they called him, quote, the handsome 21-year-old Austrian. Oh, boy.

So they're all, like, very complimentary of him for a while. For a long while until later. And then they're not so complimentary anymore. And, boy, let me tell you something, guys. There is some crime coming up. They're about to stop being complimentary. This is one of these guys that can't stop doing the same thing.

He just refuses to stop doing the same shit that's hard. You know when people, we've had these guys, sometimes they shift around. First it's a DUI, then it's drugs, then he beats his wife, then it's escalation. This guy is just a complete horrible human being all around. First it's a DUI, then it's drugs, then he beats his wife, then it's escalation. This guy is just a complete horrible human being all around. So in this article in the Spokesman Review, which is a Spokane paper. Oh, clever title.

December 14th, 1968. The Spokesman. I'm already offended. Yeah, I mean, it is the 60s. But I'm still offended. Every town had like 14 newspapers, so all the good names might have been taken. That's probably true.

The spokesman, screw it, it's fine. Close enough, whatever. It's got spoke in there. They just need to know it's Spokane. I love it. This is the huge Ice Capades ad, and the picture on the ad is just Wolfgang with his back arched in the most flamboyant of ways.

Oh, boy. He's on his toes with his back arched that's the black and white yeah photocopied 50 year old newspaper so I'm laughing my ass off at this and it reads

today's show with a tomorrow look oh god and it's a it's a it's a an Austrian of questionable

sexual orientation arching his back there's not there's no look to that and that's tomorrow it's tomorrow's look back. There's no look to that. It's tomorrow's look. There's no tomorrow's look to that. That was like 40 years ago's look. There are some very, very close-minded people in Washington looking at that going,

I'm just going to kill myself today. I'll just do it. If that's tomorrow, I'll just end it all today. Back then, people didn't even think about it, though. They were like, that'll be great. There was three channels. They were like, this will be great and I'm going to tell you

what else was going on during that time that they could possibly get into and it's not great I mean there really isn't so it reads also world famous skaters

including 1968 Olympic gold medalist champion Wolfgang Schwartz and North American champion Donald Mike hilarious comedy

and the incredible magic screen the fuck is that I'll bet it's hilarious too theious comedy and the incredible magic screen. The fuck is that? I'll bet it's hilarious too. The amazing. The magic screen. The magic screen.

What is that a TV? That's what I mean today. That's what it probably was like a big screen TV came out. Wow.

42 inches. It was like a projector screen you know. One of the ones with the big thing in the middle of the floor. You'd walk in front of

him and yell at him. You get an outline of Wolfgang as he skates by. Outline of Wolfgang. So basically, this show is running December 25th

through January 1st at the Spokane Coliseum. Oh boy. And it's opening night at the Spokane Coliseum. Really? We're going to open it up at the Ice Capades, baby.

We are kicking it off big. They don't have any pro sports. Fireworks and all that shit. Six night shows and six matinees. Oh my God. Over the weekend, they do three shows a day. They are sweating. It's like 12, three, and five or some crazy shit.

Oh my God. It's like they're really busting it out. Six night shows and six matinees. 12 shows in a week. Saturday and Sunday. Yeah. Oh my God. That sounds horrible. 12 shows in a week. Saturday and Sunday. Yeah. Oh my God, that sounds horrible. 12 shows in seven days.

That sounds horrible. With your wife the whole time, mind you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And other couples who are probably fighting. That sounds like a lot of work. Imagine that. And for all this, all of this work, all you need to pay to get in, the prices are $2, $3, $3.50. And the top tier best seat in the house, $4.

$4. They literally brought in, there was a man who was in a small European country that's covered in ice and snow, and he practiced his whole life. His whole damn life. His whole life he worked for this goal, and he got to the Olympics, the mountaintop, and he beat his fellow countrymen who was the gold standard

of gold medals did all of that and everybody else in the world beat everybody he's the best and then these people this company

found him saw him on television and said you know what I'll get this guy and his wife and his wife from this tiny country.

I will pluck them out and I will bring them all the way to fuck to Spokane, Washington. Where I will charge the country folk four bucks. Four dollars. We'll rehearse. We'll write.

We'll practice. We'll yell at each other. Marriages will break up over this. For four bucks. Four dollars. Bargain time in the 60s. And you know what? Let's assume that that place holds 3,000 people.

We'll say. You're talking about $12,000 sells it out. That's what I mean. No, not even because there are lower tiered prices. Yeah, there's $2 tickets. $12. That's probably half the arena. $12,000 would be the maximum they could ever make.

I'm telling you. At $4 a ticket. In case you guys are looking for a Christmas present 50 years ago, it does say, quote, the perfect gift for Christmas. Oh, Christ. Imagine you're a kid, and you go in your stocking, and you open up an envelope, and it's not even a savings bond. No.

It's tickets to the fucking ice capades that day. Santa brought me $4 tickets, that cheap, fat fuck. Put your scarf on, honey. We're going to fucking ice capades that day. Santa brought me $4 tickets, that cheap fat fuck. Put your scarf on, honey. We're going to the ice capades. Wow, thanks, Mom. It's cold as shit outside, but I got us. I don't believe in Santa anymore. I just don't.

I don't believe in him. Are you guys sure that fat fuck exists? Kids in school would be like, man, Santa is great. And kids would be like, that's fucking sucking. I know. No. I am not even talking about Santa. For real.

He's a jerk. Gives me goddamn ice capades. $4 ice capade tickets. Not even. I got the $3 ones. Mid-tier. It's behind a pole. I can't see shit.

Now, in case you were looking for something else to do that weekend, there was multiple triple features playing. Back then they would show triple features. Imagine going to the movies for like seven hours. Oh my God, no. There was a triple feature that included the good, the bad, and the ugly, which is like a two-hour, 50-minute flick. I remember when I was a kid, we used to go to the drive-in and we'd get a double feature.

And we'd show up at the end of the first because there's no fucking way we were going to sit through two movies. Forget three. This is in theaters and in drive-ins. Oh my God, this sounds horrible. Like I said,

one of them was Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, so that's almost a three-hour movie. You're talking about nine hours at the damn movie theater. It's ridiculous,

I'm telling you, man. That's the worst. It really is. There was an ad for, I love looking at old advertisements. Yeah. And old advertisements

from a 1968 Spokane newspaper is the best. Also here, it's an ad for the North Cedar Drive-In where you get $1.50 a car load. It said, cut this coupon out

to get $1.50 a car load. For your entire family. Everyone in the car, $1.50. Pile in and watch the show. Everybody you can cram in. Now, if you're looking for something maybe a little racier, maybe a little more adult,

you can get down to the El Rey Theater down at 326 West Riverside Drive in Spokane, where starting at 1 p.m., they have a triple feature playing. Not just anyone. Don't bring the kids. It's 18 and over. Because the triple feature is Satan's Co-Ed the tryout and quote pot party playgirls I want to see party play they got a they got a triple feature at a jack shack

yeah this is a triple a triple jerkin feature that's the difference between the 60s and now have you seen direct tv now they they yeah they they those are almost like you may think that you could bring a family to that yeah those are almost like they're almost hiding co-ed that could be a religious right you don't fucking know they're almost right maybe it's an inspirational tale about a young kid making the baseball team what do we know but that last one kind of gives it away. Pot party play. I was like, is this an adult thing? And then I saw pot party play.

I'm like, yes it is. Yes it is. It's pot party. 18 and over, pot party play. Look at DirecTV. I was at the comedy club

and I was scrolling through the channels in the green room looking for sports. Yeah, we have a good comedy club. We have DirecTV in our green room.

The DirecTV channel, one of the titles was Help, It's So Black. Yeah. That, there is no, there is no way to confuse that with something else.

It is clear that that is a fuck movie. The worst is when you're sitting with your child and they don't, certain cable companies, it's not like a tier at the end. Right. It's not a special one you have to access.

No, it's just mixed up in the middle. It's like HGTV, A&E, 12-inch black cocks, and then right back to, you know, home fucking Disney Channel. You're like, what is going on? And when your kid's looking at it, they will ask... Do I want to watch Doc McStuffins, Paw Patrol,

or Big Butts, Fiesta, Bing Big Bang, fucking volume nine fat Latinos take huge cocks. Just see Latinos on the seat as volume 12. Big Butts, Fiesta, Big Bang, fucking Volume 9, Fat Latinos Take Huge Tops. And that's a legit, that's what they would call it. Daddy, what does it mean when it says that this woman needs a black rod to control

her urges? What does that mean, Daddy? Well, I've actually scattered and had to explain porn descriptions to my daughter when she was like eight years old she's like

what does that mean and I'm like well it means you gotta scroll to a different channel I said it's a mechanical show and I'm like it's in her car

there's this rod thing and if you don't have I literally was telling so my daughter's walking around out there going your car's got a nice black rod

probably half the fucking time because she thinks that's a car show. She's going to take her car to the garage. They're going to be like, I know what the problem is. She's now going to be the stupidest 14-year-old ever, because I'm a liar. This black rod is controlling my urges. Black rod is going to be like, Jerome, get in here.

Come over here. You're never going to believe what this white girl just said. She's got a customer that wants to talk to you. Unbelievable. So that's the entertainment in Spokane, Washington. Poor Washington. So on this tour, on this hell tour, there were 12 married skating couples.

Right. 12 married skating couples. They were all together. It was really weird. The Japanese guy found his wife and taught her to skate. It's the weirdest thing. They were like, hey, I've got to skate, so I'm'm gonna teach you to skate and hilarious jump on the ice you're gonna make you know you're charging four bucks a pop let's do this there's money to be made yeah there's gold

in them hills they're traveling nine months a year they're staying in the same city one week at a time so that's just you're in a hotel like there's weird stuff in the article about how they like transform their hotel rooms into their homes and the one guy like you know she brings a hot plate she has like a huge trunk with like homey shit that they put up like a hot plate so she can make a meal or some tea for them a picture like like uh mary poppins just like pulling a lamp and a rack and all this shit out of one bag a bunch of them were like some guy made one of the art directors

made like this thing that he could break down and take from city to city that was like this big like fake tree thing with a hole like yeah so we felt like

for some semblance of normalcy I guess if you're going nine months you know like comics go for like five days and they go home

for two days this is just nine months and you're on the other side of the world this isn't like you're traveling around Austria and you're from Austria. You're in fucking Spokane, which you've never heard of, hopefully. You shouldn't have heard of it. Nothing has happened there ever. You hadn't heard of it until they told you there was a gig there. Exactly. They were like, what? All right. Well, whatever. Where's that? It

just rains a lot. That's all you need to know. However the plane gets me there, let's go. The tour manager here, Bob Gallagher, said, we must have the world's largest family of families. Fucking idiot. I love this here. There's articles, like I found one, April 12, 1969 in the Lincoln Star from Lincoln, Nebraska. Meanwhile, that sounds like a dude that just has nobody. And 24 people is the largest family you've ever seen?

That's the largest family. Well, it's probably the most 12 couples traveling together. Probably. But still, 12 people is the biggest family you've ever seen?

I just thought about somebody would end up cross-fucking somebody and then shit would turn into just a hell ride. Imagine like a tour bus with a bunch of figure skaters. With 12 dicks.

There's 12 dicks. There's 12 women on this bus. There are 12 dicks. There's 12 women on this bus. There are 12 dicks. There's absolutely one of those dicks going, maybe everybody wants to swap. They're all young. They're all egotistical.

They're all assumably athletic. I mean, who knows? Who knows what kind of international swapping was going on here. And they're ice skating. They've got to prove that they fuck women. Yeah, that's true, too. Constantly. Actually, I don't even know if it had a connotation back then.

I just think... It seems like that was like... All the glitter and gems. Yeah, I just don't think people... Your mainstream people thought about gay as a thing back then. They just pretended that there wasn't gay people. Maybe. And then they would be like,

yeah, you know, Tom and his roommate Bob that have been together. Yeah, they've been roommates for 25 years. You know them. Like, what? Come on. Tom's fucking Bob. It's all right.

It's fine. We're all okay with it. Just let it happen. Let people live their lives. Fuck do you care? There's rumors that Abraham Lincoln was gay. Now, it wasn't back then because it was fine to just share a bed with your... Hitler, too.

Hitler. Very gay sounding. Yeah. There's whole documentaries about how Hitler's gay. And Abraham Lincoln used to share his bed with his assistant. Hitler, too. Hitler, very gay-sounding. There's whole documentaries about how Hitler's gay. And Abraham Lincoln used to share his bed with his assistant. Hitler, too. Those beds back then were not fucking beds like we have. They were not king-size beds.

They were twin fucking bunks laid in a corner, and big-ass Abe Lincoln would be spooning some tiny little dude. They might not have had heat back then, though. That's maybe true, too. So we'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Hitler can go fuck himself. That was 20th century. And all the dudes that he fucked. So, in their own

words. I can't wait. In their own words from our man Wolfgang Schwartz on Skating with the Ice Capades. Wolfgang doesn't say much, so I had to take what I could get. In their own words, quote, Skating with the Ice Capades is a perfect honeymoon. During the day we can be tourists, and in the evening I do the work I enjoy the most, skating.

So he's just trying to act like, and then I bang the Japanese guy's wife. We switch and he bangs Gertie. And it says also to every article saying that they plan to move back to Austria after the tour, and they're going to start some kind of quote sports related business which I don't know what that is. Whatever the fuck it is.

Sports related business. Going to open a store. He you put things out and he ice skate jumps over them and that's a and then he makes a pose

and arches his back and that's it. Just like the ice capades. I picture him opening some sort of sports chalet some store that sells fucking ice skating shoes and what are they are those fucking ice skating shoes. Yeah.

And what are they? Are those skating shoes? Is that what they call them? Maybe he becomes like a high level. A guy like that could probably be like one of those high dollar coaches that charges you $400 an hour. He opens an ice rink. He's some spoiled child.

Some shit. Yeah. So now at this point he kind of goes into, he kind of recedes for a while. For like 30 years. Wow. He's public.

He's not hiding or anything. But in the beginning, he's doing other tours. There's the ice capades. There's the holiday ice capades that he does. He does a bunch of these skating tours, basically. That's how he makes his dough. At some point, he switches businesses from the ice skating business to the prostitution pimping business awesome that's a desperate man already this is interesting yeah uh now first of all in austria

prostitution is legal okay it was made legal on january 1st 1975 yes i looked up austrian laws prostitutes are required to register and undergo periodic health examinations. They must be at least 19 years old. So they've got to be not a child, not full of teeming with rickets and scurvy and bugs and things. Not many rickets and scurvy because that's not contagious. Rickets are contagious. You've got to get it at some point. Not scurvy. Scurvy, you need to have a

vitamin C deficiency. And so I don't think you can catch that from someone. Anyway, so they have to do all this undergo periodic examinations, 19 years old. They have to pay taxes on what they're doing, obviously, like anything else. Now, brothel ownership is illegal, and so is pimping. You're not allowed to make money off a prostitute.

Okay. That's a law. But the government can. The government can, but you are not allowed to take a cut of a prostitute's business. No brothels, no pimps. So let's keep that in mind. You've got to be an independent contractor.

Yeah, you've got to be an IC all the way. That's all there is to it. So this is an interesting thing here. This is how weird of a guy he is. We're going to do another little in their own words here. He was asked in front of Gertie by a reporter, what was the most exciting thing that ever happened to him? And so they expect him to be like, asked in front of Gertie by a reporter what was the most exciting thing that ever happened to him. Right?

And so they expect him to be like, Oh, Gertie, Marion Gertie, I love her so much. So he says right in front of her, in their own words, quote, winning the gold medal, of course. I worked 15 years to win the Olympics and I only worked two years for her. Wow. For her, not even for Gertie.

No, he just throws out a her. He might as well have said for this one over here. I only worked two years for this one over here. This clam cost me two years. Whatever. Two years. It's something. Also, too, if you're interested in prostitution laws across the world, you can find them all.

Every country's prostitution laws on prostitution.procon.org. So if you want to find it. That's incredible. That's where I found it. It's like an open mic website. It's every country listed and it tells you like there's red countries which are illegal, green countries which are, you know, pussy's open, you know, open for business. Toll gates are wide open.

And then there is the gray countries where it's like here, where it's like partially legal. Like it's legal in Nevada, but it's not legal anywhere else. And I think it's only a couple counties in Nevada, too. I don't think it's the entire state. Yeah, no, it's a couple counties. It's like, I don't remember which one. You've got to be on the outskirts of some fucking town. Yeah, you've got to be in the middle.

If you want to go bang some skank in the desert for $2,000 in the middle of fucking nowhere, knock yourself out. And being honest, I follow those people, some of them on Twitter. The whores? Yeah, the whores. Because I follow Dennis Hoff, the owner of the cat house, the bunny ranch here.

He is a number one scumbag in the world and he's hilarious. And I love him so much. He's like a person, you watch him and you go, oh, he's the worst human being ever. I don't want my daughter to be anyone like that.

He testified at the Jody Arias trial. That lets you know that he's not on the up and up. I met him opening for Dave Attell and he was so sweet. He brought whores. That's very nice. Not for you. Well, what I mean is he didn't gift them.

I believe they were. I did not partake. I had whores there here. No, I believe they were. I did not partake. I had whores there here. No, I believe they were. I'm pretty confident that they were. You don't show up to a party empty-handed. You bring a bottle of wine, you bring a side dish, or you bring some puss. You bring a couple of whores. What's the difference?

Now, I'm not one to partake in prostitutes, as you know, Jimmy. I'm kind of a germaphobe, so I'm not touching anybody who I don't know where that's... I'm right with you. I was flattered, though. I appreciate the shit out of the gesture. I appreciate the gesture. But my point is... I go up, I entertain you, you offer to do the same.

My point is, they're not... Nothing that you're going to pay for like that is going they're not nothing that you're going to pay for like that is going to be a woman that you're it's not pretty woman

that's not what it is attractive women right even if they have no skills they marry a very rich man that's their form

of prostitution they can fuck one guy that will give them money they don't have to fuck a hundred that will give them money only a girl

who's got issues and problems and a bit of a skanky streak going through her can do that. You have to be saggy titties or

their body's a disaster. Look at their body and whatever the prostitute, whatever she looks like on the outside, picture that times

ten inside her head. And that's what she is inside too. And that's why she has to do this. It's so sad too because then you know the horrible upbringing

they probably had. They don't understand how you can enjoy that whole thing unless you're one of these weird dudes that's into that sort of thing.

And also understand that those girls that look like that and you know that their head is that fucked up most of that is not their fault.

No. I mean some of it whatever. They've got horrible things. Their uncle molested them. Their father molested

them. There's horrible And they deal with it the best they can. That's just psychology. It's horrible things happen to these girls. It's not their fault, but they are disasters. So late 90s, through this, he's been, like I said, he's kind of kept quiet. He kind of

dipped out of the ice skating thing. And rumor has it, he is involved in a bit of a prostitution ring, human trafficking type thing here. Oh no. Bit of a prostitution ring, human trafficking type thing here. Oh no. So that's kind of the rumors. Late 90s, he's diagnosed with skin cancer. Again, the whitest man alive. So white, the Austrian sun was too much for him.

The Austrian sun, he couldn't handle it. His fucking skin had to revolt against him. The Alps. The Alps just now, sorry. It's eight degrees out and he's got skin cancer. Nice job. Someone's going to tweet at us going, it's actually very temperate in Austria.

We have a normal weekend. Our summers are brutal. Whatever. You live in a fucking snow globe. Shut up. Okay? You live in a fucking snow globe with humans inside. And Hitler's from there. Right.

No way. Any country that Hitler's from, shut up from now on. It's indefensible. You Hitler's from there. Right. No way. Any country that Hitler's from, shut up from now on. It's indefensible. You gave the world Hitler. Enough of you. I'm sorry. That's all you get.

You get one Hitler per country before we cross you off the allowed to have an opinion list. I don't care who it is. France, they produce a Hitler. Guess what? No more pressure. It's over.

That's it. UK, like I said, love you guys. Want to move there. Any Hitlers's it. UK, like I said, love you guys. I want to move there. Any Hitlers come out of there, I'm disowning you. Fuck off. You don't get to have an opinion anymore. Sorry.

We, on the other hand, produce people who would like to be Hitler that don't have the drive or the motivation to do it in the U.S. That's what we do. So 2002, Wolfgang is arrested oh he is arrested he's 54 years old at this point

he's almost 55 years old he gets arrested and charged with procuring visas for seven young women who were smuggled into Austria to work in brothels

oh what a scumbag yeah what a horrible what a horrible charge what a piece of shit there's nothing worse than like whatever people can joke about pimping nothing worse than, like, whatever.

People can joke about pimping. Nothing worse, I think, than being a pimp. There's no more bigger piece of shit than someone who wants to make money, not only off somebody else. They're like agents, except worse. Way worse. Way worse, because you have to suck dick for that money. And you have to hurt people to get that money out of them

when they don't want to give it up. And he's not just doing this on his own, like a little operation. He's a part of a large gang. Oh, God. They call them a gang, a conglomerate, the whole deal. They're like organized... So scummy.

Organized white slavery is what it is. Yeah. That's exactly what it is. And a lot of the information I found about him was in books about slavery. Wow. That's where it's like, yeah, that's where this came from.

Because when you hear what he was doing, too, and what... 90s rap music made the word pimp such like a cool thing to own. slavery. Wow. That's where it's like, yeah, that's where this came from. So, because when you hear what he was doing too, and what, 90s rap music made the word pimp such like a, oh yeah, a cool thing to own. This is not cool. This is bad. This is fucking horrible.

Yeah, yeah, this is bad pimp. This is disgusting. Today we're talking about different kinds of people. Having a bunch of hoes to ourselves or some shit. Yeah, but not actually selling them for money.

This is vile. Lying to them and smuggling them into other countries. And then getting them fake visas. Yeah, that's the thing. So basically, yeah, he's part of this large gang. His arrest was, this is the thing too, it took hundreds of complaints for this arrest to be made. Hundreds of complaints were brought by the victim's families

and Anti-Slavery International, which is a big group that tries to help girls like this. These people had no idea where their daughters were. This is 2002? This is 2002. They had no idea where they were. There wasn't a hashtag available. They just disappeared.

Yeah, they were just gone. And basically what he would do is he would recruit women from Belarus, Ukraine, Russia, Lithuania, and several other complete shithole former Russian bloc, Eastern European. Don't report the missing because they just run away because the place sucks anyway. The places that are made of asbestos, those dump shithole places. That's basically, I'm sorry if you're from any of those places, but Belarus is a dump.

Sorry. Go and move to Spokane. You have an adorable accent. It's hot as shit. It's nice. Yeah. It's nice. And that's why you get them because they sound sexy. They sound sexy and they want these young Eastern European girls and these girls are desperate. They promise them real jobs. They're promising them like lucrative jobs. Like you can move here. You're going to be a secretary. They're going to make you a CEO of a company. Yeah.

They're saying we're going to get you a job in an office. It's a real job and we're looking for young. We're a temp agency. Yeah. They're saying, we're going to get you a job in an office. It's a real job. And we're looking for young... We're a temp agency. They're looking for young ladies who are desperate for work that would really come in and work hard.

That's what they're telling them. And it's a load of shit because when they arrive in Austria, they were brought to brothels in Vienna, Graz, and Salzburg.

Can you imagine the shock when you get off that bus? This goes on today a lot too. It's more Asian now. now they bring the Asians in but it's the same thing with the Eastern Europeans too

the shock that must go through their head when they show up and they're like uh oh and they're like take your clothes off oh Jesus

this is what this is and it's like you think you're getting a nice job and then instead you're brought to a secure building by with

and that's the thing too these girls are surrounded by handlers. Yeah. I mean, they couldn't go anywhere. Intimidating men. Yeah, they couldn't go anywhere. They basically took them to a brothel. They confiscated their passports so they can't leave.

Even if they escape, they have nowhere to go. They have no ID. They can't get out of the country. Yeah, they're just some girl with an accent and no passport. I mean, you're not going anywhere. Wolfgang insists this whole time because he made from what i understand he made a partial confession when they arrested him yeah but he was because he he thought he because the prostitution is legal right so he was saying

that he was only doing it to help the girls he was saying no no i was getting them i was getting i gave got one a job as a go-go dancer, other ones, but I was just acting as an intermediary. These girls come from horrible places and I was trying to help them

until the court found that he was taking a portion of their earnings also for them being in brothels. So not only is he, he's taking a cut after the fact also. Absolutely.

This is a crazy international ring of horror here. Horrible. This is the shit people have nightmares about. Absolutely. Like, yeah, you're sold a bill of goods. This is a crazy international ring of horror here. This is the shit people have nightmares about. Like, yeah, you're sold to build goods. This is the worst fear of every father of a daughter. Absolutely.

When you have a little girl, your worst fear is her being kidnapped and sold into sex. Sold into white slavery. Yeah, white sex. Any color slavery. Fucking sex slavery. I don't give a shit. It's just terrifying. Sex slavery.

It's insane, man. Yeah, he's sitting there, oh, yeah, just get in better circumstances. I'm just such a humanitarian. fucking sex slavery it's just terrifying sex slavery it's insane man yeah he's sitting there oh yeah just doing to get in better circumstances I'm just such

a humanitarian I care so deeply let me show you my metal have I told you how white I am

is it obvious can you see me don't throw rice at me I've had skin cancer I've had skin

cancer and I've never been outdoors do you understand how white I am do you get it

this lamp right here. Cancer. Like that. I got it. The fluorescent light fucked me. He's walking around in a burka. I got skin cancer from the spotlight in Ice Capades.

That's what happens. And most of me is covered. Yeah. Doesn't matter. My outfit reflects the light. And I still got skin cancer. I still got skin cancer. God damn it. So as you can imagine, this is a big deal skin cancer. I still got skin cancer. God damn it.

So as you can imagine, this is a big deal in Austria. This is a national hero. He's a guy. Austria's not a huge. There's 8 million people in Austria. Really? 8 million. It's like 8.1 million people.

We've got that in LA County alone. Yeah, LA has way more people. Yeah. The Bralé, yeah, whatever. That's ridiculous. Yeah, the whole. That's so nothing. That's nothing. That's a shit. Nothing. whole, that's so nothing. That's nothing.

That's a shit. Nothing. Yeah, that's such a tiny amount of people. So you can imagine this was big news. I would hope so. I would hope it travels fast. So the whole trial gets all sorts of media scrutiny, media attention.

He's thought of as like a great guy up in the National Hero that everybody loves. And now all of a sudden he's a human trafficker who's selling girls into slavery. He's the worst. Judge Anton Baumgardner said, quote, signals must be sent that the slave trade is forbidden.

Sentenced him to 18 months in prison. You, sir, may fuck off. There you go. Wait, what? 18 months in prison. You may fuck off for an entire 18 months. 18 months. That's all I got for you.

But you may pause on your fucking off for one second because the defense has three days to file an objection to the sentence which they do because he has skin cancer and he's saying that he has having ill side effects from the skin cancer treatment and cannot

serve his sentence so the judge this asshole, suspends his 18-month sentence due to his failing health. Unbelievable. I guess, I don't know, they don't want to have a sick guy in jail or whatever the hell

for his cancer treatment. They're scared that it's contagious. So this fucking asshole admits to, gets found guilty of trafficking women and they're like, that's all right.

Go on your way, sir. Have a good one, buddy. We'll fuck off. Yeah. Sir, we will fuck off. Have a good one. We'll all leave the court. You stay.

How's that? We're all going to leave. Should we pay you for the legal fees? Is that what we should do? To jump behind the bench. That judge chair is pretty comfy.

Bang that gavel a little, see how it feels to you. Tell you what, on the next case, why don't you sentence we'll do that what do you sentence what do you say

it's like bring your bring your child to work day bring your convict to work day bring your convict to work day we're going to write up this paperwork that you're guilty and go on your way

get back to your sex slave were you fucking off I'm sorry don't bother suspends his fuck god damn it that made me so angry when I read that

so at this point now it's like 2003 and he's acquitted Don't bother. Suspends his fuck. God damn it. That made me so angry when I read that. So at this point, now it's like 2003 and he's acquitted. He's not acquitted, but he's essentially acquitted. Sent on his way. Except for the fact that everyone thinks he's a piece of shit. Well, that's good news. That's good public news. So I don't know if this is his way of trying to publicly make himself look better. Just makes him look even fucking crazier.

Good. Listen to what he does here. He starts dressing up like a Catholic priest. And he's not one. In full garb. No. He's Wolfgang Schwartz, the gold medalist,

ice skater, slash white slavery person. In his defense, that garb does stop skin cancer. That's black and thick and long. But as somebody that's... He gets like a monk hood, he's in. As somebody that's already convicted of

hurting children, not your best outfit. Probably not your best outfit. Not your best outfit. What would be better? Maybe Freddy Krueger? I can't think of one that would be better. One that's hurt less children. Michael Myers mask.

What makes you less frightening than children? Christ almighty. A fucking Catholic priest. There's nothing worse. I mean, you can dress as ISIS or Boko Haram. That's the only thing

that's hurting children more. The crazier thing about it is what he's saying while he's doing this. It's crazy enough that he's a public figure. You know he's not a priest. Everyone knows

he's not a priest. We know he's a human trafficker. You know he's not a priest. Everyone knows he's not a priest. We know he's a human trafficker. We know he's a pimp. We know he's a gold medal ice skater. Right. We know all of these things, but what we don't understand is why he's dressing like a priest

walking around the streets of Vienna like this telling everybody that'll listen that God had personally spoken to him and blessed him several times during his trial. Did he find Jesus or is this just bullshit? This is PR.

This is spin. He's literally going around saying, yeah, you know, Jesus blessed me and God talked to me and blessed me and told me, you know, sometimes they're going to fuck with you like this, but it's all good because you know you were just acting in the best interest of those girls. He's a terrible man. Right? At this point, he's a nice guy, right?

No, I hate him so much right now. He's doing so nice. He's just such a nice guy. He's trying so hard to make us believe it, though. 2003 through 2005, in that time period, it's reported that he tried to kill himself at least three times. Three unsuccessful suicide attempts.

Damn it. For the remainder of this podcast, I'm saddened. I'm sad that he didn't. I'm sad that he didn't I'm sad that I'm sad that he was in that position and I'm happy that he got out of it

for us to continue the podcast. Yes. But I am saddened that he was not successful. He was not successful. I'm kind of upset. So nothing can stop him

at this point. He's got the human trafficking and he's untouchable there. He doesn't go to jail. He's got cancer. That's not killing him so he's like let me try it on my own

it's not enough for the world and it didn't work so he's a mess and you figure that lets you know that God doesn't even want him if there is a God

he does not want him does not want him take your priest outfit off and fuck off mister so now January 7th 2005 you figure at this point he's going to at least lay low i mean you're not gonna go trafficking women right fingers crossed i mean come on no no you're

you can't do that again no god it's obviously frowned upon right you've got no jail time for so clearly it's not allowed clearly they care about keeping you obviously the street. So, shocker, on January 7, 2005, he is arrested in his Vienna apartment and held on suspicion of what? Human trafficking again. Let's do it again, you stupid asshole. They say... Apparently God doesn't make any money. No, he's not getting his cut here.

I don't know if he had his priest outfit on when they busted through his door, but that would have been even better. Jesus spoke to me. That's terrific, pal. Hands behind your back, asshole. Jesus said her pussy can be sold. Sold. The highest bidder. So he's 56 years old at this point,

and they're accusing him. They're saying he trafficked women from Lithuania, just Lithuania this time, to Austria and Italy for prostitution. Italy, same laws. My check. Same laws as Austria, by the way.

Legal, no pimping, no brothels. Gotcha. So, same bullshit there. Can't do that there either. Not cool. Australia should, or Austria should put

a stop to that anyway. Yeah. Yeah. If he can do it there, he can do it in a place that has the exact same laws. He'll figure it out. The penalties are so stiff

that he might not get sent to jail ever. If he's a little under the weather. Jesus. Not that skin cancer is a little under the weather. Jesus. Not that skin cancer is a little under the weather. Right. You trafficked fucking women. I don't care what you have.

Right. Find a room for him at the end of the hall and stick him in there. I don't give a shit. I don't care if he's got tuberculosis. Yeah. Find a quarantine. Keep him away from people. Yeah.

Shove a meal through a slot once a day. I don't care. Fuck this guy. Put him in a place that you just throw him a pizza and pancakes. You got breakfast, lunch, and dinner for him. Or a brothel, glory hole in a brothel, where weirdos like to fuck ex-gold medal Olympians. That would be amazing. How about that?

There's some weirdos that would pay top dollar to bang some old Olympian. As long as he's wearing the medal. Absolutely. The medal and his sequins and everything. So January 7, 2005 still, Ernst Cloy... Not Ernest. Ernst.

Yep. Ernst Cloyber. The ugliest name. Ernst Cloyber? What a terrible name. Ernst needs at least one more vowel, first of all.

There needs to be at least one more. You can't have an R-N-S-T and only one vowel. There needs to be something Ernst. Our apologies to Brett Ernst, who's an amazing comic. That's a great last name. That needs to be something. Ernst. Our Apollodino. There's a Brett Ernst

who's an amazing comic. That's a great last name. That's a last name. That is not a first name, Brett. My last name is Petra Gallus. I'm not talking shit about last names. It's horrible.

That's not a first name. Kloiber. K-L-O-Y-B-E-R. Sounds like he comes from Louisiana somewhere. It's terrible, man. He's a spokesman for the prosecutor's office in Austria here.

And he says, quote, Schwartz is suspected of having been involved in international prostitution involving Lithuanian women. All right. He's upset. Schwartz was on trial with three Lithuanian men for this. It was him and three Lithuanian guys who I assume were the ground guys. To go between. Yeah, who would go scoop the girls up.

The guys that would talk to them. Yeah, and this is, they're on trial for sending last time it was five. This is 15 women. Wow. 15 Lithuanian women sent to the brothels. He is up to the ante. He is up to the fucking ante at this point. He denies the charges

completely. He does again, he admits that he acted as a mediator to get two of the women jobs as go-go dancers. That's his claim. He said, look, two of them that, the rest of them, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

He was smart enough this time to not say, I did it for their own good, which was the wrong approach, obviously. Right. Even though he got no jail time, he was technically convicted. So this time he's not that stupid. Now, during 2005, this is going on.

Now, he's going to be on trial. But while this is going on, he's trying to get his shit together. He sells a home that's on the outskirts of Vienna that he owns. He's living in an apartment in Vienna. This is a home he owns on the outskirts. Sells it to a Romanian law firm, okay,

who rented it to a man named Andre Serban. Now, Andre Serban is a Romanian billionaire. He's a hot shit businessman, Romanian billionaire. He rents this house and he lets his daughter, Andrea, stay in this house. Andrea Serban. She's 18 years old. She's going to be living in this house, okay? Now, that makes sense, right? She's going to be living in this house. Okay? Now, that makes sense, right? So he rents the house out.

Everything's simple. October 27, 2005. Wolfgang's arrested for a plot to kidnap said daughter. Wow. Yeah. He's up in the fucking ante now. He's going to steal his tenant? He's going to steal... Not even his.

He sold the house. Oh, yeah. He's getting on the house. Some Romanian law firm. Right. He was renting it to this guy. He was letting his daughter stay there. He hears about it. I don't know if it's a small town on the outskirts of the house. Oh yeah. He's getting on the house. Some Romanian law firm who's renting it to this guy who's letting his daughter stay there.

He hears about it. I don't know if it's a small town on the outskirts of the United States. 18 year old pussy up there. I'm going to get it. Not even for prostitution though. Why? This is a whole other deal.

It's a plot to kidnap this daughter, right? Hold her for $5 million ransom. Oh my God. That's the plan. It's for whatever. It's $5 million US dollars. Pounds,. That's the plan. It's for whatever, it's five million US dollars. Right.

Pounds, euros, do your own. Some ridiculous Austrian money. A shit load of fucking money that this guy's a complete idiot for trying to get. And this guy basically, they arrest him for it and he basically admits to it.

He makes a partial confession when they arrest him, they say. His own attorney, this guy named Eichensider, said that he, quote, in essence has admitted to it. So, I mean, he doesn't even know, like, he just snaps at this point. He just says it. It doesn't matter. Lucky.

So now he's got two cases simultaneous. This is October. Now he's got 15 Lithuanian girls that he's got to deal with. Which is crazy to me, too. And a kidnapped billionaire. Why is he why does he have any defense for those 15

girls at all? The two of them he was going to get them jobs as a go-go dancer. You're walking down the street in a priest outfit. Why would anybody approach you and say, can you get girls jobs as go-go dancers? Why are you involved in that? You're clearly human smuggling. Obviously and clearly.

And now he's also trying to kidnap me. Nobody's approaching me and asking me to get girls go-go dancer jobs. That's my point. Because I have nothing to do with that shit. No, they wouldn't know at all. I wouldn't have any idea where to go for that. It's true. It's like Randy Lanier selling weed.

Right. You know what I mean? They just show up to me. They just show up. I should probably start. Maybe I should bring some. I should know where to get go-go dancer jobs. So yeah, if enough people asked you if you had girls to dance as go-go dancers, you'd start finding them.

You'd be like, I'll ask around, I guess. Next time you see a girl, you'd be like, do you do any go-go dancing? I don't even know what go-go, I assume it's like stripping. Stripping is, I know that stripping and go-go dancing are two different things. Sounds like what an old man would call stripping. You know what I mean?

An old Austrian. You'd think so. I got him go-go dancing. You would think so, but it's different. It definitely is. I'll Google the difference one day. Yeah, I guess so.

He's trying to say, I got him legal employment. Everything's fine here. Go-go dancing has clothes on. I know that. So December 15th, 2005, he's acquitted in the Lithuanian girl trial.

He is acquitted. Acquitted. With all the facts I just spewed. All the facts. His history. Yeah. Three other Lithuanian guys. Fifteen girls.

All sorts of complaints. Somehow he's acquitted of these charges. My God. What the fuck he did. Austria. What kind of poll he's got in Austria. But so far, you are 0 for 2, Austria.

You have... Your system sucks. You have let him go with human trafficking, even though you convicted him. You said, that's all right, go get your medical care. And now you've acquitted him when the evidence... I don't understand this country at all. I'm losing my mind. What about the kidnapping?

There was... Well, here's why here. Kidnapping. There was, well, here's why here. There was doubts about, because basically the co-conspirators testified against him. People turned on him because he's the famous one. So they were like, we need him. Plus he's got a record for this already. They have to put him away.

So the co-conspirators testify. Apparently the point, the why he got acquitted was the doubts of their reliability because they're scumbags right the judge has an amazing quote for that it's not a fuck off but it's like I would love to tell you to fuck off

you are so lucky you're skating on this no pun intended you cocksucker okay Judge Martina Cranes K-R-A-I-N-Z another terrible

Austrian name sorry Austria but Martina though? Martina she sounds? Martina. She sounds hot. Maybe she is, but she's an Austrian judge. I want to see her.

Judge Martina Kranz. I want to see her in that robe with just her tits out. I want to see that. Just her tits hanging out. Sentencing you. Saying this right here to him. Quote, you had the luck of carrying out your dubious dealings with people who are not a bit more trustworthy than you. That's her

you're lucky because all of your friends are scumbags. She sounds like she'd be great in a parody of porn where like she says horrible

shit like that and then pulls her tits out and smashes you with them. Say I'll traffic something for you. Now visit me

in my chambers. Come treat me like a Lithuanian teenager and then she drags me in. That is god awful. Yeah. So the court

basically 2005 we're still in this kidnapping shit. This is going over to 2006. Good god. Basically it all comes out

that he hired someone to do the kidnapping but it never happened. It didn't happen yet. He had planned it out. It was going to happen. He hired a guy. He paid him.

There was a plot. There was a plan. There's a a plan there's a fucking amount of money that he wants there's a phone call to a phone number to call yeah it's all right tell them what they need they know the house the whole thing and then so i mean but he's still trying to get out of it and then out of nowhere in court one day i guess he's being questioned i guess he testified out of nowhere in court one day, I guess he's being questioned, I guess he testified, out of nowhere he just makes a surprise statement. And this is amazing. We've never had one of our people do this. This is incredible and it's so satisfying. In their own words, Wolfgang Schwartz in court while under questioning, he just says in their own words, quote, okay, I admit it was my idea to kidnap the woman. I cannot explain it. I did it. Sorry. Fuck, I don't know what to tell you.

I love how he starts it with, okay, fine. Okay, all right, you got me. Now that we're here. I am planning a surprise party. You got me. Okay, you're right. I'm having everyone over from work, and we're going to hide, and we're going to have shitty layered white cake, and we're all going, yay.

No, you guys, all right, fine. Tried to kidnap her Jesus that's great so upon his conviction basically they said I cannot get a fucking

judge statement on this case I translated shit from Austrian from German I did everything on earth to get this judge's statement

and I cannot find it. Damn it. So all I have is the state attorney Christian Tempstchik, another terrible name with too many goddamn consonants in a row that don't go together. Christian Tempstchik said,

quote, the motive for the whole thing was of course greed and selfishness. Anyone can use three million euros. Yeah. So, I mean, he's pretty obvious there. Yeah. He is convicted, like I said, greed and selfishness.

Good. He faces up to 20 years for this. Oh, boy. This is serious. You can't plot to kidnap people, and especially billionaires. Right. They tend to get a little upset. Yeah.

He is sentenced to eight years, which, Jesus, just for the two other skates, I'd be like, you know what, asshole? 15 at least. Yeah, because you got off on this one. You should have been doing it.

Give you an extra year and a half for the other one you didn't do. And then we'll give you a five for that Lithuanian situation. Three girls every year, we'll say. We'll round it off nicely. Three girls for one year. Right.

15. Get you 15 and we'll see you We'll round it off nicely. Three girls for one year. Right. And 15 for five years. Get your 15 and we'll see you around. So, Andre Serban, the father of the Romanian billionaire whose daughter was set to be kidnapped. He's also the mayor of Slanik, Moldova, which is a Romanian city also. He's mayor of the city. He's the mayor of the town. And a billionaire. Moldova.

Moldova. Guy who almost had his daughter killed. This quote was short and sweet. He said, very good. The mayor of the town. And a billionaire. Moldova. A guy who almost had his daughter killed. This quote was short and sweet. He said, very good. He got what he deserved. Yes.

Yes. Shit yeah. Fuck that guy, basically. Way to go, mayor. Fuck him. I don't care. I got other shit to go on. Yeah, he got what he deserved.

Fuck him. Mr. Mayor, I gotta get back to Moldova. Yeah, he's sent to Stein Jail in Krems, Austria at this point. Where he's gonna meet Stein Jail in Krems, Austria at this point. Where he's going to meet some interesting friends.

Awesome. The worst group of people ever forms here. Now, at this point, Jimmy, I mean, good God. Poor Greta. Yeah. Gertie. What happened to her? I mean, her husband's gone.

He's in jail. Their whole life is ruined. She lived her whole life with him and the Ice Capades. And the Ice Capades. She gave up tennis and skated around Spokane with this idiot. And this idiot's out there slanging pussy. He's out there selling it. Selling it like it's a used car. Just throwing it down.

I got this one with two miles on it. There are at least 20 girls that we know of who have been smuggled in for being forced prostitution. There's a girl out there. 15 Lithuanians and a bunch of other ones. There's a girl out there

living in his old place going, the guy that used to own this wants to kidnap me. There's a girl who almost got kidnapped. The country of Austria, this is like a complete embarrassment

because this is like their hero and then they're doing this shit. Yeah. I feel bad for all these people, Jimmy. I really do. I feel so bad for them. But goddammit, not even close to as bad as I feel for old Wolfgang Schwartz.

How do you get both of those names? Professor of Philosophy at University of Edinburgh. Mostly works on philosophy of language, metaphysics, and logic. Explain the logic of the guy that holds your fucking name, sir. Explain the logic of not going to prison after being convicted of trafficking women into prostitution and stealing their passports from them. Explain that to us. Where's the metaphysical fucking logic of that, you asshole? Dr. Wolfgang Schwartz.

Oh, this guy spent a lifetime. Who's got a PhD in molecular genetics. He's a professor at Technical University of Munich Institute for Microbiology. Oh, Jesus. Has over 30 years experience in Claustratia, especially

in the field of cellulosis and hemicellulosis. This guy gives a shit about life. I don't understand a word I just fucking said besides Munich. That's the only word I understand on this entire page. I just know where he is. I have no clue what the hell this guy did with this. He's experimenting with life on a molecular level.

And he has the same name as a guy that's... Google me. No, I don't want to do that. Wolfgang Schwarz, who works for vacation.com as a Europe expert and group travel specialist. Let me ask you something. How much do you spend on hotels? Let me ask you a question. Another goddamn timeshare salesman.

The way that's a Europe expert and group travel specialist, it sounds like he sets up heavy weight, like heavy set 50-year-old couples for, like, swinger orgies, you know what I mean? In, like, a foreign land. We go out to international waters

and then anything's legal, okay? That's when we all take our clothes off. Sets up, what do you think? Swinger parties on buses in Spokane, Washington. Spokane, Washington.

Tour buses. Oh, disgusting. Just like a decommissioned high school bus with the seats taken out. Plastic put down on the floor. A couple of slip and slides laid down there.

For the waterworks. For the golden showers. Unbelievable. He's in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada by the way. Good for him. To have that shitty name in Canada.

My personal favorite. Wolfgang, quote, Cube Schwartz. He's got himself a nickname. Who is the three-time Austrian StarCraft II champion. I don't even know what that is. It's some video game. He's a video game guy.

He moved to the U.S. to join U.S. team of Alloy Esports. They recruited him over here. Turned out he arrives in Greensboro, North Carolina. He's supposed to be put up in housing to go compete in these tournaments. And this poor guy finds out the whole thing's a scam. These people have no money. They're a team.

They want him to go compete, but they can't put him up or pay anything. They just like drag this poor guy over from Austria with his fucking PS4 remote in his hand. Sitting there going, I thought they play games now. I thought they played video games. So yeah, he got on a plane and went back to Austria.

That's hilarious. With the quickness there. So those people are people I really feel bad about. Meanwhile, Cube should have been our boy's name. Cube, yeah. That's great. Three times, motherfucker. Three time loser.

The Cube. So now comes the most interesting part of the story. We've had human trafficking we've had prostitution we've had all this stuff kidnapping no no no okay

March 18, 2010 there was an article oh Jesus and it is about a man named Joseph Fritzl and you true crime fans

may know who Joseph Fritzl is and if you don't I'll give you a quick background on Joseph Fritzl. F-R-I-E-T-Z-L? F-R-I-T-Z-L, no E. Okay.

It's Austria. No fucking vowels where they should be once again. I'm going mass murderer? Buy a vowel, you cocksuckers. Yeah, no doubt. Eat your cheese in England? Hey, UK, dairy, get some calcium in you. Austria, goddammit, I will fucking loan you a vowel at this point.

I'm dying for vowels in your names Joseph Fritzl was the guy who kept his daughter locked in the basement for 24 years

that's right I remember him raped her over 3,000 times and fathered 7 children that's right and had that

dipshit wife who would believe anything because she'd have babies and when the babies would get sick he'd just show up with the baby

and be like, Elizabeth left it here. The daughter's name is Elizabeth. She'd be like, Elizabeth left the baby on the doorstep. Meanwhile she's in a basement

locked up. Meanwhile she's in the same house in the basement and the wife's so stupid she doesn't go in the basement. So this is the kind of sick fuck we're dealing with here. His own daughter,

prisoner, told his wife that she went and joined a cult. That's what he told the wife. I don't know, she left and joined a cult that's what he told the wife I don't know she left and joined a cult

she's gone 24 years 3,000 rapes 7 children oh by the way he killed one of the kids that's right piece of shit

the ultimate you can't okay he's a murderer he's a molester of his own fucking daughter a rapist a child killer

the worst fucking these kids were hunched over because they didn't because they were so low taller than the ceiling. They took weeks for them to adjust to light.

They were in a basement. Horrible human being this person. He is also in the same prison. Now, listen to the group of people, the grim fucking group of people that Fritzl surrounds himself with. This is unbelievable.

He makes friends with Austrian serial killer Harold Sasek. I've heard of this guy. He's known as the Gas Man. That's his moniker because he used to pretend, he used to pose as a utility worker. Oh, Jesus. He posed as a guy who worked for the gas company. Scumbag.

And he'd knock on the door. He killed seven people, seven old people, by the way. Killed seven of them. Raped one of them, just to make sure, before he killed them. So he's raping and killing old people. Seven people.

And then he would ransack their house and rob them for every goddamn thing they had in the house. Awful. And everything else. So Joseph Fritzl, him. Him. And our guy.

There's more. And our guy. There's more. Okay. And also, this pair. So we got Fritzl and Sassick now, who are a hell of a combination to hang out with. Imagine the conversations they have. Holy shit.

So scary. They have to be disgusting. This pair, they take on a murderer named Gunther Lorenz, which Gunther is the most Austrian name I've ever heard in my life. He shot two women in a man execution style and was caught for that all of these three

and Wolfgang Schwartz this is the crew this is a click they all hang out together this is a click Fritzl can you fucking believe this wow

so if anybody had any doubts about this anybody thought maybe he's a good person that got screwed over and he wasn't trafficking and they were trying to railroad him? He hangs out with these three pieces of shit. These are his friends.

You know what? If you want to see if someone's guilty, get these three guys in a room, put someone in it with them for five minutes and see if they're banging on the door again and going, get me the fuck out of the room with these scumbags. Give me a new cell. These people are horrible and I don't want anything to do with them. That means you're okay. If you're like, no, they're all right. Guilty of whatever the fuck you're charged with. I don't care if there's evidence or not.

If you want to hang out with Fritzl, Sassick, and the other one here, you're Lorenz. You're a piece of shit. You judge a man's character by the company he keeps. That's an old saying. That's exactly what it is. And a prison official at this point said, what a great quote of this group. He says,

quote, they are quite a grim little gang. No one is in here because they're an angel, but this lot are the dregs of the world. The dregs of the world. These four people are just the worst human shit we could possibly muster and stick out there.

And we found a way to put them in the same fucking cell block. And their bodies. And their friends. Wolfgang, you piece of fucking garbage. And this Fritzl, too. There's some really funny things on Fritzl here. He would send letters to his daughter that he kept in the basement. Get the fuck out of here.

Begging her for money so he could buy expensive shampoo for his hair transplants. Because he's such a vain twat. Yeah. But they said, you know, he's adjusting to the day-to-day schedule.

He's doing okay with that. I hope she sends him a you sir may fuck off letter. No shit. At this point, there's a prison... Now, imagine this now. There's a prison now imagine this now. There's a prison guy here who basically

said that at first all the inmates wanted to kill Fritzl. And then after a while they said they like him now. He's well integrated and ready to work they said. He's ready to go for it. And he wanted to study law, Fritzl. He wants to be a lawyer. Fuck you, Fritzl. He can't afford it in jail, thank God. I hope you die in there. So now this piece of shit

was an Olympic gold medalist he had everything he had money fame 3,000 cheering fans at his wedding his childhood

sweetheart that he loved for years and years anything he could want he instead throws it all away

decides to be the worst piece of human fucking garbage in the world gets away with it does it again because he's a fucking moron and can't just leave well enough alone so now he's in prison for eight years hanging out

with the three worst human beings on the face of the earth the only thing that needs to be done here is a mexican prost or a mexican pimp yes needs to kick his door in with two guns blazing pour him a drink look him dead in the eye and say, How is it you've come to arrive here? How is it you've come to arrive here? This is an amazing rock bottom. Holy shit, rock bottom. That is so unbelievable. Hanging out with those three

capped it off. That was the cherry on top where I'm like, this story's amazing to me. That is a unbelievable. Hanging out with those three capped it off. That was the cherry on top where I'm like, this story's amazing to me. That is a rise and fall like nobody's business. It is. For real. That's as far as you can go down the hole. That's the equivalent of being here and being Muhammad Ali or Charles Barkley.

And then ending up in the same room as the Green River Killer. And hanging out with him. Yeah, and then becoming pals. Becoming pals with him. That'd be like OJ's in prison right now. Yeah.

If he was like, yeah, he hangs out with Manson and he hangs out with fucking, you know, this one and that one and, you know. Horrible.

Yeah, you went to prison, you hung out with Ted Bundy before you executed him. That would say something of your character at that

point if these were your friends. Not just hung out but like traded stories about life. They were called a grim little gang. And there's several

articles about it. It's like a thing like these four are an item. They hang out all the time. They're a group. They protect each other. They get each other's backs. They're like

and they're a bunch of like 60 year old weirdo perverts. They're all perverts. They're all well Wolfgang he's not convicted of rape but I assume

when he's trafficking he's fucking raping these girls too. He's trying, Wolfgang, he's not convicted of rape, but I assume when he's trafficking these girls, he's fucking raping these girls. He's tried them out. So it's a bunch of rapists and murderers and ice skating assholes. So on December 10th, 2010, a book by the, this looks like the worst book ever. I'm not reading it. You wouldn't read it anyway. Wait till I read you the description and the price because it's the most ridiculous call for... It's called Wolfgang Schwartz, the book. In the description of the book, but they wrote

this description, the first fucking line of the description is, the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. Fucking... Don't read it. just listen to us. Just listen to us.

We'll make it funny, too. We looked up every online source there was. We'll tell you about Fritzl. Probably more than this book. Yeah. And we're being,

man, we're funny about it, so fuck off. I guarantee there's no, how is it you found yourself to arrive here? I guarantee you. There's none of that in there. None of that shit.

And no silver-haired middle-aged white man this week. I apologize about that. That's crazy-haired middle-aged white man this week. I apologize about that. That's crazy, too. We'll call Gallagher, Bob Gallagher, the head of the Ice Capades guy, who said, the largest family of families, silver-haired middle-aged white man of the week.

There he is. There he is, guys. Otherwise, ice skating is an individual sport. Not a lot of that going on. No team. So this book, you know what this book costs, Jimmy? Oh, God. You'd figure what?

It's like $9.95 or something. $50.85. $50.85. $50.85 for quote unquote other free sources on the internet. From Wikipedia. First of all

his Wikipedia page is two fucking paragraphs. Jesus. Get on his Wikipedia page it says he won the gold medal 2002 he was convicted

2005 acquitted 2006 convicted doesn't say any details nothing. $50.85. No fritzle nothing. 2005, acquitted. 2006, convicted. Doesn't say any details. 5085. No Fritzl, nothing. 5085. Jesus. Unbelievable.

That thing better be made out of fucking Fritzl's daughter's fucking vagina hair or something. There's no reason that that's that much money. Fritzl. I'm sure Fritzl probably made things out of woven fabric t-shirts or some shit.. I'm sure Fritzl probably made things out of his woven fabric

t-shirts or some shit. I'm pretty sure Fritzl also creepy thing that he did not in prison but I think he made underwear.

I think he was trying to make lingerie if I'm not mistaken which is gross. That might be confusing him with another

cereal scumbag. That makes me my skin crawl. I'm pretty sure yeah he was doing like mail order lingerie. That's's gross he's trying

to make his own frederickson hollywood i could be completely wrong about somebody some scumbag yeah and i'm putting it on fritzl i want to vomit right now as horrible as he was we'll pin it on him it doesn't matter jimmy you got a couple more minutes and you can go vomit all right a few more things we need to get to here amazon.com if you cannot get enough if you need to see wolfgang schwartz in your home on a daily basis you can buy a vintage photo of schwartz skating in the 68 olympics looking very regal uh for 34 it's a picture wow poster 34 plus 459 shipping for a picture it's a picture it's so heavy yeah what Yeah. Where are you shipping this to? Around the world? It's heavy with guilt and sadness.

Yeah. This way, well, we can feel the sadness. It shows on the scale. The machine picks it up. I don't know what to tell you. It's going to cost you $400. FedEx guy will use a dolly to bring that sadness to your door. But hurry up, guys, because there's only one left in stock.

Oh, boy. It's right on there. So you really want to get on that quickly. Get the buy it now. Get that buy it now. Hit it up. Now, a little revenge here for old Tim Wood. June 11, 2015, Tim Wood, who is the guy who won the silver, the American skater who did not die in a plane crash and wins the silver behind Wolfgang, is asked to be a judge at the World Figure Skating Championships in August 2015.

Wolfgang was not asked, by the way. So he's still got a good life. He's got a silver medal, but he's not in prison. He doesn't have to hang out with Fritzl and these other scumbags. Retribution is his. He's getting paid to judge figure skating while this scumbag fucking trots around

in prison with Fritzl and Sassom. Hand in hand with Sassom. Hand in hand with Sassum. Hand in hand. Ungoddamn believable. How horrible of a piece of shit scumbag was this guy? I want to vomit. I feel disgusting right now. It's so weird.

Like I said, this is a different thing for us because we haven't done like an Austrian figure skating. The closest we've done is like foreign soccer players, but they still grow up the same way. Gavin Grant grew up in the projects as like a guy just like Keith Wright. Gavin Grant is over the pond Keith Wright,

you know what I mean? And all these things. We haven't, DeSouza even grew up in the favela. Right. And, you know, Bruno DeSouza found favela

and all that shit just like kind of our athletes and there's a rise and there's a fall and there's a, this is just like a snow globe person he emerges from a snow globe this perfect

glowing white you know silky man fresh from making snow angels fresh from making snow angels thrust right into I'm gonna sell Lithuanian girls the fuck are we doing here and hanging out with Fritzl and then I'm going to wear

a Donna fucking priest outfit. That was the craziest thing. That's an insane left turn. Imagine what everybody was doing after that. They're like, so he traffics girls and now he's wearing a priest.

What the fuck is that? Maybe he was just trying to muddy the waters enough to make people like, I don't know what's going on. Throw everybody off the trail. And the next year you come out in a suit and tie

and act normal and they go, I don't know, I guess it was a phase. I don't know, whatever. I guess he was on drugs for a couple months. They lumped the priest outfit and the trafficking all in one. You know what I mean?

That was just one crazy incident for me. Just one crazy episode of a few years for that man. He keeps going, man. Jesus. He is utter garbage. A human pile of garbage. He just, every incident finds a way to bring that bar lower and lower and lower. I know what I'll do.

I'll kidnap a teenager. Hold her for ransom. What's next? Yeah, what would he have done next? The next is, the only thing worse is disemboweling an eight-year-old girl and displaying her in a public square. It seems like he'll do anything for money and he doesn't care about anybody else, obviously. Nobody.

He'll hurt people and do whatever he needs to do for money. And he thinks he can get away with it because he can. Because he did. Yeah, he did twice. He must have felt bulletproof. Oh, my God. I can't imagine. When that December 15th verdict came down of him getting acquitted of the Lithuanian girls.

Forget it. He must have went out and just... He must have inducted dozens into slavery that day. He was picking them up off the... He's got a van. He's got a van like he's picking up kids to go to the after-school program. Come on, guys. The basketball court's this way.

This way. Right to the brothel. That's it. Unreal, man. Unreal. So that's Wolfgang Schwartz. It's a departure for all of us. The Olympics were there.

I had to do an Olympian. We had to do it. And we wanted to give you something different because I have never heard of this fucking guy. Me neither. I knew nothing about this story. And I thought a lot of people in the US and the UK haven't heard of him either. And it's fascinating for him to end up with people

that were in world news. That's correct. And Austria, you've heard of him. Yeah. I guarantee you. He's in big news. And the 8 million people there. So that's him.

Guys, thank you for listening. And we have a little more. We want to shout a few people out right now. Yeah, for sure. We want to shout out some listeners that have just been really, really good to us and really, really helpful to us.

And these are the ones that have kind of been helpful this week. Obviously we got our wet betters and our, and our story of Sean's and our guys like that, that are always been there from the start. Our J Ringgold's and our, our Isaac Gordon's and are that scary's and are people like that everybody but the new ones that have been the most talkative to us are like dead John Joyce is that John yes yeah another brick he's another

break a lot of the fun people are Brits like yes he's terrific really nice re D which is fascinating to me because she's an African-American lady and she couldn't be more different than John Joyce, yet, again, have the same interests and enjoys what we do. And Donna Mack. And Roberta Mack, too.

And Gina Nation. The Regina Nation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's great. And that Jackson Bickle kid. Yeah, the Gina Nation lady said she had to pull over from laughing. Yeah. I love that.

That's hilarious. I've always wanted to hear that. That was terrific, man. I love it. I love it so much, man. You guys are awesome. Honestly, with the iTunes reviews, that helps us the most out of everything. We have a Patreon page, too.

Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports. Obviously, we'd love to, you to you know you guys want to throw us a few bucks there are some rewards there that are pretty cool that we can give you and you know we'll talk about you

we'll say great things about you and we will not wish that an athlete rapes you so we'll do that but short of that honestly guys iTunes reviews are free and they're worth

their weight in gold to us you have no idea what they do to help drive us up the charts and if you go up the charts and on the charts you get

you get more listeners. Right. People see you exist. We want more people. We want more Jack Crestons. We crack the top we crack the top 100

in the UK. Yeah. That's so cool. That's amazing. That's you guys. That's fuck god damn it thank you guys.

That is amazing to us. We started out with 14 god damn listeners on the first day. We had 14 listens. You know what I mean? And one of them was my father

and three of them were Jimmy. Nobody gave a shit. And I had to talk James off a ledge when he's like nobody gives a shit about this.

No one cares what we're doing. And I'm like just calm down. And now we crack the top 100 in a foreign country. It's awesome.

In a place I've never been. No. We're blown away by that. I know nobody there. The only people I know there are the ones that talk to me on Twitter. Absolutely.

Fucking incredible. And I love all of them. Yeah. And also Busby too. We can't forget Busby in our list of diehards. Forget it. The diehardiest of the diehards.

He threw a party at a bar for us in another country. Goddamn. Yes, there was an enlisting party in Australia. Right. It was September 15th or something. Right.

It was last week. This is August. Wasn't it August 15th? I think it's September. Oh, okay. I think he was last week. This is August. Wasn't it August 15th? I think it's September. Oh, okay. I think he was taking a month off. Oh, fantastic. That's great.

He would have been talking about it otherwise. But thank you guys for doing all this. It's all you guys. Crime and sports movement is you guys, man. We can't do anything. We're comics. We're not journalists. We don't have a network.

We don't have anybody that we can go, hey, will you throw a banner ad on here for us? Will you get a banner ad on? We don't have that. We have comics. No. We're not journalists. We don't have a network. We don't have anybody that we can go, hey, will you throw a banner ad on here for us? Will you get a banner ad on? We don't have that. Nope. We have nothing. All we do is have word of mouth and people that like us

and people that want to help us. And we're just so appreciative of it, guys. We appreciate it more than you could ever know. And I'll shut up about it. That's it. We love you guys. That's a huge thank you. We love you.

And you guys are awesome. You really are. It means the world. And like we said, keep an eye open and an ear open also. Follow us on social media for this information too. It's at Crime and Sports on Twitter. Crimeandsports at gmail.com. Facebook.com slash Crime and Sports.

Look on there and listen to future episodes. In the next two weeks, we're going to be announcing a little bit of expansion. Yep. And into some other areas. It's going to be just us, what we do with crime in another arena. It just opens up and expands and gives more opportunity to keep going for you

guys because I don't want this to stop and have this huge amount of people saying, what happened to that one podcast? I don't want it to stop and have this huge amount of people saying, what happened to that one podcast? I don't want it to stop. This is too much fun. And I just like, I love doing the crime research and I love doing all this shit

and I know you do too and there's so much that we can do and there's so much to do in other areas besides just sports. And honestly, guys, I'm going to be really honest with you because I don't know anyone who's still listening to this

as a diehard. We feel like the word sports is a little scary for some people when they're looking for a podcast they go crime and sports

hmm I don't like sports I don't give a shit about that I don't think so and they go past it so it's kind of a remedy for all

of this keep an ear out and failing that Jimmy give them your social media please at Wisman Sucks W-H-I-S-M-A-N

Sucks on Twitter Instagram and Snapchat and then Jimmy WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. And then Jimmy Wisman, Jimmy, J-M-M-I-E W-H-I-S-M-A-N on Facebook. Find me, friend me, whatever. Friend me and call me a cunt. Friend him and call him a cunt. I am at Jimmy P is funny, and

James Petrigallo, and I just, whatever, try to find it. Friend Jimmy, his name's easier to spell than look on his friends list for guys named James. There it is. I'm the tall guy. You'll see me. It's no problem. We do shows together and he tags me all the time

so you can follow me that way. It's easier that way but guys, we love you. We can't thank you enough. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening. We will be back next week

with a wild, wild story because I got a fun one lined up for next week and it's going to be scum from top to bottom. Fantastic. Wall to wall scum. Painting the walls. this is going to be one of those ones where you're like god damn like the one as if this one wasn't scummy enough this was as scummy as you can get but the next one like i called the mel hall episode the worst man alive question mark that was what i called the mel hall

episode i'm mad that i used that i'm mad that i used the worst man alive because like this might be worse i kill it it's going to be a blast guys join us next week we love you so much thank you thank you thank you live from the crime and sports studios the new crime hey prime members you can listen to crime and sports early and ad free on amazon music download the amazon music app today or you can listen early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. The wait is over.

So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Bing! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face.

I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period.

Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door.

The Emmy Award-winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all-new season. It's streaming. You can say anything judy justice only on freebie