Crime in Sports - #329 - Drugs, Death Penalties & Shipping Fees - The Innovativeness of Reginald Spiers

Episode Date: November 15, 2022

This week, we check out one of the weirdest, craziest stories, ever! He was an Australian javelin thrower, but there isn't much sports to talk about here. Why? Because this guy did so much more. Including putting himself into a wooden box, and shipping himself COD from London, all the way to Australia. From there, he got deep into drug smuggling, with some pretty ingenious ideas. Only problem is, he keeps getting caught. Including being caught with heroin in Sri Lanka, and being sentenced to death! Did he survive to smuggle another day??Throw things for international acclaim, ship yourself 13,000 miles, and start a smuggling ring with all of your best friends with Reginald Spiers!!Check us out, every Tuesday! We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!!  Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman  Donate at... patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail]  Get all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com  Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things CIS & STM!!  Contact us on... twitter.com/crimeinsports [e-mail] facebook.com/Crimeinsports instagram.com/smalltownmurderSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. The Queen of the Courtroom is back. How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports. Yay! Yay indeed, Jimmy. Yay indeed. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host.

I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you folks so much for joining us on another crazy wild adventure that we like to call Crime and Sports. And we have a crazy one for you. Super non-traditional crime and sports episode not a regular sport not a united states guy we're going to australia for a sport we've never done before so very cool we're getting into something completely new and one of the craziest stories ever this has been requested by our australian listeners and this is really a story you certainly don't have to be australian to enjoy because it's a fucking international is the way i would put this story definitely i would call it

that quickly before we get to that just want to say thanks for all that you do for us head over to shut up and give me murder.com right now get all of your merchandise also tickets will be on sale very soon i don't know the exact date they might be on sale right now if you're listening to this go there and check it out. We're going to tell you the list of our small town murder dates for live shows in 2023. We have a list of cities and dates. We'll hit you at the end of the show with those. So if you want

to know about it, definitely do the end of the show and we will tell you everything you need to know. Patreon.com slash crime and sports is where you get all of your bonus materials. And people have asked us, where you get all of your bonus materials. And people have asked us. We have to reiterate it every week.

Definitely we want people to understand. Once Crime and Sports regular show is over at the end of this year, Patreon Crime and Sports will continue. We have a ton of stuff to do on Patreon, years worth. But it's just not enough to do whole full-length shows. So that's why we're ending that. So right now, though, for Patreon, every other week, you're going to get two new episodes, one crime and sports, one small town murder. And of course, you're going to get your shout out what you're going to get this week for crime and sports. Very fun thing that we found when we were looking.

I think it was the real McCoy guy, the boxer. the boxer. If you look through the sports section of like a 1900, 1901, 1902 newspaper, outrageous advertisements, just wild medical claims, things claiming to cure terrible ailments, very simple things, things that have been debunked for 100 years, just poison they're selling you that you should ingest and it helps you. Crazy advertisements. Approaches that are now illegal. Oh, absolutely.

And weird sports headlines. All sorts of weird stuff going on. So we're going to go through an old newspaper and have some fun with that. And then for Small Town Murder, it's that time of year again. It is Love After Lockup season. And they just wrapped up their season and we're going to talk all about it on Love After Lockup. Finally gave us the finale. Oh, God. Can't going to talk all about it on Love After Lockdown. Finally gave us the finale. Oh, God.

Can't wait to talk about that. That's so much fun. That is patreon.com slash crime and sports. And you get access to everything, like we said, and a shout out at the end of the show. So that said, let's get right into this because holy balls is this wild. We're going to talk about an Aussie here a Reginald Spears jr. of course Reginald James Spears jr. is his name his nickname is Reg everybody calls him Reg yeah and the fucked up thing his name is Spears S P I E R S so

not like a spear but Spears but he's a fucking javelin thrower. Is that right? Whose name is Spears. That's awesome. He's like, I mean, come on. What are the odds of that shit? Shotput guy named Rock. Yeah, it's a bowler named Ball.

It's amazing. So there we go. Reg Spears is what he goes by here. He's born December 14th, 1941 in Adelaide, South Australia. So he is an Aussie and loves it over there. He's a big, enthusiastic Australian. He's super, super into that. He doesn't matter about his childhood.

I could have made up a whole thing and it doesn't matter. We'll put it that way. Who gives a shit? It seems like his childhood seems pretty normal. We'll put it that way. Who gives a shit? It seems like his childhood seems pretty normal. His parents are, I know, at a much later date are still together.

You know, when they're like 80 years old, they seem like stable people. His mom's always cooking like desserts and baked goods. The house always smells like cinnamon and vanilla, he said. So that's good. His dad seems like a stable guy. Nobody really got the shit beaten out of him too badly. It doesn't seem like. Pretty good life.

Decent upbringing here. Well, I mean, yeah, there's not a lot of people who've had super traumatic upbringings that turn to track and field. It's less common. Pick up the javelin and just take at it one day. It's usually more stable than that seems like a lot of driving and things like that you need to be driven to meets and stuff carl lewis had a really fucked up childhood running it would be the exception because you could just have to run away from things and people that could be a thing yeah i got fast because i had to be with it right high

jumpers with a family lineage of bale jumpers. Yeah. My father used to jump over walls. That's how this – I just – I inherited it. It was perfect. So he ends up – he's over six feet tall, which is very big for back then. He takes up javelin when he's a teenager and ends up like a javelin – a really good javelin guy here. like a javelin, a really good javelin guy here. He ends up qualifying for the 1962 Commonwealth Games in Perth, Australia, where he came in fifth in the javelin throw.

His best throw was 69.70 meters. That seems far. Seems like a long way to throw a javelin. What is that? Well, I looked it up now, and that's all very good back then. So I looked up what's the records now because I'm sure they're way different. Oh, with the steroids and everything? And I'm sure the javelins are even different. I'm sure everything is better.

It's probably designed to be thrown like that. Something, yeah. Back then it was you had to carve your own or some shit. I don't know. Either way, now the records are all like 95 meters so that's how much farther people are throwing it now than they were back then yeah so 30 that's like 90 feet further that's a lot it's way fucking farther yeah 90 yeah it's like 90 feet further yeah that's how much it's a lot there's a really chucking them pretty good up there. So either way, that's what he does.

And he continues to compete and compete. He wants to get on the 64 Australian Olympic team, and he does not get on the team, as we'll talk about. But he really tried hard. He really tried hard. He traveled to England in 1964 to attempt attempt to qualify because i guess they had some qualifying thing over there so we'll talk about that in a moment but uh quickly his he had the he was fifth in the 62 commonwealth games um and then in 60 and 61 to qualify for that for

those two seasons he came in third in the whatever australian some shit games the australian track and field games here he comes in third in 60 and 61 comes in second in 61 and 62 so that's pretty good it seems like i guess um and uh later on he'll continue but first he goes to england to try to qualify for the olympics Now, he gets over there on a tanker ship. Oh. He said it took months to get there. They stop constantly. And he basically worked for his passage.

Like, hey, he told a ship captain, like, I'll peel potatoes. I'll do whatever I got to do. I got to get to England for this. So, you know, what do I need to do? So he ended up. Get on. We'll be there in the the fall that's kind of how it was yeah it was like it was the 1700s or something like he's going on a spanish galleon or some shit so he he ends up uh getting over there not qualifying for the games and now he's stuck in england without a penny to his fucking name yeah he's got some friends over there but it's expensive to fly from england to australia in the 60s and it's it's expensive now

and this is back then flying was just way more expensive back then obviously it just was a much more tricky endeavor less people were doing it so more there was more cost of now every luxury yeah now every schmuck that fucking you know that thinks arby's is good food is is can fly you know what i'm saying like anybody can for 69 yeah they'll throw you in there they'll figure it out so so apologies if you think arby's is good food but really that's on you that's on you. That's on you. And you should apologize to your gastrointestinal system for putting it through that kind of strain on a daily basis. So he ended up in England. He's hanging out with his friends.

He's got a guy named John McSorley who he hangs out with. That's one of his buddies. And that's whose house he's staying at or whose apartment he's staying at, I should say. So he talks about how can I get home. He's just trying to figure out how to get home. And he asked his friend John, because Reg, when he got out of school, worked for at the Adelaide airport for a little while. So he says, well, you know, is there any way do you know anybody at the airport? Because I knew like for my people, I knew at the airport, I could get like a

free ticket. I could get like a pass or something. So he says that John, his friend said, I know somebody at the airport. Um, cause John used to be a baggage handler with air France, just starting to sound like good fellas. And I picture Frenchie. So he said, I could check that out. And, um, you know, Reg said, yeah, please, you know, I'd love that. And he said, I, I, you know know if i can get a free ticket back to australia i'd be gold here so hook me up now john by the way or i'm sorry not john reg in australia has a wife and a young daughter and he can just leave for months and months and months that's what they're all pretty perplexed about all of his friends are like you're you're like just gone on the other side of the world for like months you just tell her i don't know when i'll be home from 10 000 miles away and she says okay like who the fuck is this lady i'm gonna go try to throw some shit around

and win something i'll be back i'll be back when i don't know it takes a couple months to get there so who knows when i can come back from what no i won't at all fend for yourself keep the baby alive call you when i call you peace and then he just fucking runs out and you know throws a spear into the into the door as he leaves that's his calling card fascinating choice something to remember me by honey so that's what he's doing and uh his friend john is like jesus christ he figured he would that reg would have calmed down a little bit since the last time he saw him because you know he got married and had a baby yeah so usually guys chill out a little bit with that and he said this guy generally yeah yeah that sobers you right up nope nope nope not reg reg uh

reg keeps what he's doing on doing what he's doing. So he's broke. He doesn't have a return ticket. He's got nothing. He doesn't even have money for himself, so he can't bring his wife. Because at first he thought, maybe I'll bring them to London. Maybe that is what I'll do. And then he's like, well, I can't even afford to get myself there. How the fuck am I going to?

What are we going to do when they get here? Then what? Can the kid peel potatoes? Maybe he can. Maybe he does it so his friend says so he tells his friend john like i need a place to stay where while i'm here i mean i'm stuck here for a while and um his friend said if you're only staying a couple months then you know i guess stay with me find something work and then get some your money and you could stay with me till you get a plane

ticket and get your ass back to Australia. You know what I mean? So he's there for four months. Again, he's been gone like eight months from home. He's not going to recognize that kid. No. The kid's not going to know who the hell he is. He won't. I think he's been gone.

I don't think the kid was eight months old when he left. So he's been gone for most of the kid's life generally here. Fascinating. His wife cannot be happy at all with him. She's got to be furious. Yeah. So he ends up being very upset here. One day he comes home and he's all pissed off, Reg.

He comes back into the apartment. John's hanging out in there and he's just freaking out. He's all pissed off. And his friend said, what the fuck happened? What's wrong with you? And he says, quote, everything's happened. That's what Reg says. Everything's happened, he said. And then I picked up this postcard after work

from Marion, who's his wife. And he said, from work from Marion, while the cat's away and all that, and I can't do a damn thing about it right now because my wallet got stolen. So he says his wallet got stolen. So his friend goes, who are you talking about? Who is this guy that you think that your wife is with now? Because you got a postcard.

Did she say she's with a guy in the postcard? He's like, no. They're like, well, then why do you think she's with a guy? And he says, it's this guy. He's a jumped up second rate athlete and now he's a lawyer and he works where she used to work uh before the baby and so you know i don't like what's going on and they said jesus christ what the fuck what's going on your wallet got stolen and he said yeah wallet got stolen out of my jacket pocket, he said, I left it in the staff room where he was working. He said, it's the first time I've ever left it in there.

And it's fucking gone. He said, I had all my money that I'd saved for the last four months in there and everything to go, you know, to fly back home soon. Now I'm super fucked. I don't know what I'm going to do. And now my wife's banging some fucking lawyer. Okay. These are my problems. These are the's banging some fucking lawyer. Okay. Okay. These are my problems.

These are the grievances of this world. Yeah. So his friends like, what do you back up to the first one? That's all. That's heavy. Who's your wife banging? Let's get to that. Let's deal with that first.

And he said, he's banging this fucking guy named Dean Waterford. That's his fucking name. He's so mad. He goes, and I had a dream about him last night. And that's how I know that it's definitely true. So this guy's like, wait a second. Your wife didn't tell you she's banging him and you had a dream about him. So that means that your wife's definitely banging him.

You're dreaming about guys? Yeah. Well, with his wife. That's what he's dreaming about. I don't know if he's dreaming about it. Just sitting and watching and stroking in the corner situation. He doesn't know that dreams are not clairvoyant activities. They're actually your brain thinking and creating scenarios.

He doesn't know that. No, no, no. He thinks he's psychic. Apparently he's subconsciously psychic and he is going to do, like I said, I don't know if he was into it i don't know if he was like a jerry falwell jr situation or he's just like digging it in the corner or like what's happening here but watching the pool boy hammer yeah who knows we don't know he said though i know that so his friend said well maybe it's platonic if that's what you think now there's no

even knowing that that's even part of it maybe we don't even know they're doing anything and then his friend said come on it's it's not anything if it's a dream you're just tired he says you've had your wallet stolen you're mentally exhausted he said we've had a lot of late nights we've been drinking all the time and now you had a shit day at work and you're worn out and you're stressed you're getting paranoid calm the fuck down yeah reg takes a deep breath and says you don't realize it god damn it she's a good looking woman they're like oh for fuck's sake he's not gonna he's not gonna stop so he doesn't get it he's shouting he keeps picking up his duffel bag and throwing it against a different wall for emphasis so he'll throw it against the wall then pick it up walk around

for a minute yell around then throw it at a different wall for emphasis they So he'll throw it against the wall, then pick it up, walk around for me to yell around and throw it at a different wall for emphasis. They're just like, whoa, his bag has taken a whooping here. Something in there is broken. Holy shit. So he says,

they said that, um, he says, you know, he's going over all this and they're saying, you're reading too much into it. Jesus Christ. And they said,

no, look, here's the postcard. Reg says, read it for yourself. God damn it. And he like flings it like, here's the postcard, Reg says. Read it for yourself, goddammit. And he flings it like a Frisbee at him, flicks it at him like a ninja star. So the guy's looking at it on the front. It's a postcard, and it's got an aerial view of Adelaide.

That's nice. That's where he's from. He'd want to see a picture of that. And it reads this. This is the card. Dear Reggie, I'm hoping you're still staying with your friend john at this address fair i would say i mean he's she's writing him everyone's been asking about you and your mom and your mom phones nearly every week wanting to know

when you're coming home she's convinced you're going to miss your brother's wedding megan's well that's his daughter by the way she's grown so much you won't recognize her. Yeah. Imagine if you, okay, go back to your marriage. Imagine your daughter is a baby. You leave for eight months. What kind of postcards are you getting? Oh, boy.

What kind of postcards? No pretty pictures on the front, I'll tell you that much. It's a blank. And on the back, it's just curse words and sharpie that's it in all capitals and they don't even go together fuck shit goddamn and she'd be right that's the other part she'd be absolutely right for fucking writing that that's the thing because holy shit your baby doesn't recognize you because you're been gone for most of her life perfect he she goes god damn i'll make sure the baby hates you oh yeah the baby's definitely gonna hate you won't recognize you but when you when she finds out who

you are she'll know to hate you i've been showing her pictures every day so that when you do show up when you do turn up she's gonna know to up, she's going to know to hate you. She's good at throwing darts at your pictures. She hits you right in between the eyes. She then goes on to say, Mom babysat for me last week so I could have a night out with my old workmates. Assuming you'll be back soon. Love, Marion. XXX.

Oh, not a single O? Not a a single, oh, but bitch, this bitch, he said, so she said, so I could have a night out with my old workmates, which means that guy who's a lawyer in her old office. So she's fucking him clearly between the lines. His friend reads that and he's like, he reads it. Then he turns it back over to the front back over to the back he's like looking for some you know print he didn't see somewhere by the way i blow this guy and his you know his jizz tastes great like something really over the

top is there a picture of a penis and a vagina and an arrow pointing it with his name and vagina me yeah the guy said there's no mention of that waterford guy in here i know what you're talking about like what are you doing and he said you know they said what's wrong with seeing old workmates you know i've done that and reg said nothing at all so long as one of them isn't that fucking guy so they're like jesus christ he then says women like to throw in little teasers to see how you react that's what she's. She's just giving you the tip. You're reacting, my friend. Oh, you're reacting.

Yeah, holy crap. So then his other friend's like, that happened to me, actually, with this one girl. So that's his friends will spin you out. Oh, no. No. And his one friend who's trying to keep him sane has got to be like, you fucking shut the fuck off. Don't bring her up. Don't bring her up.

Stop with your bitter shit god damn it we're never gonna get him to stop now you're not making it better he's gonna put a hole through our dry wall with that duffel bag eventually so um yeah this guy said she said if i didn't marry her she was gonna go out with her boss and uh they said well what did you do and the guy said i said i wouldn't marry her and they said so what did you do? And the guy said, I said, I wouldn't marry her. And they said, so what did you do then? What did she do? And the guy says, she married her boss. So that was that.

She made good on her threat. Yeah. So they said, calm down, Reg. You're overreacting. And Reg said, you don't understand. This isn't just about him. It's about everything. Don't get me wrong.

He goes, you know, I tried out. I did that. I wouldn't have missed that for the world. But He goes, you know, I tried out. I did that. I wouldn't have missed that for the world. But he goes, you know, I missed out on the Olympics. I still had a great time, but now I got to go. He said, Jesus Christ, apart from being homesick and missing my family, I got to go to my brother's wedding, my own wedding anniversary. He's like, I told you about that.

She wants me to be there for that. And at this rate, I'm also going to miss my daughter's fucking wedding 20 years from now if I don't get back there. He's like, Jesus Christ. So his friend said, how about your writer and explain why you've been held up? How about that? Yeah. Let's just let's do this. Let's try rational first.

So Reg said, no, no, forget letters. No, no. Rational is out the window. We're done with rational. There's enough writing. Wait till you hear his plan. Rational is as far away from this as England is to Australia. Put it that way.

That's how far away. He's trying to get to rational, but he's that far away from it. Had enough of this pen to paper shit. Not happening. He said, my mind's made up i gotta get back quick and they go well how you're you just got your wallet stolen now right and you still didn't have enough money even when you had a wallet so what are you gonna do and he says you don't think i'm gonna put a little thing like uh no money before my marriage do you that's what he

says dude maybe not but there's like 12 000 miles it's far bro it's super far i don't think you could swim it um so his friends like i don't know what you're talking about he said you know i'd love to help you but i don't know how can i help you with this so they all just sat there and one of his friends said we could all chip in but you're gonna have to work for a few more weeks and you know you know, we can all start trying to get money. So then Reggie said, with what I earn, it could take months. He said, I need to go like now, like this week. I need to go.

Not in a month, not in two months. This is a three-day plan, not a three-month plan. Right. This is why credit cards were made. So they're like, well, dude, I don't know what you're going to do. I mean, shit. So Reg at this point is working at the airport. That's where he got a job.

So they said, you work at the airport. You'd probably get a discount. He goes, you know, we all chip in. You get a discount. And he says, I haven't got time for all of that. Do you understand? There's a lawyer trying to poke my wife right now. Do you get that?

Is he going to stow away? Yeah. He said, you're talking weeks and while i'm here this guy's over there plowing my wife not gonna happen i gotta get back so they said we'll think of something we'll think of something and then um he then said i know what to do he said this is it i figured it out yeah and what he figures out is they had gotten something shipped there and there was like a just like a big box sitting on the ground big crate yeah not even a big crate there's a big like a big box just sitting there not big enough to like get in or anything

but just like a pretty big box and he says this is my free ride home that's what reg says and they said what are you gonna do or i don't understand i i don't get it and he says listen he goes not this box obviously but something like it then reg says i've been thinking about boxes for a few days i've been watching the loaders at the airport move all those crates back and forth right and they said his friend john says what do you mean you go in a box and he says reg says go in it go home in it he says you blokes can stick a label on me and send me his air freight right so they're like what i don't what do you where to what are you talking about they're like how do you how do you do that? So they're laughing and he's like, I'm fucking serious because I'm not laughing at this at all.

And then his one friend said, dude, you're going to end up paying more as freight than as a passenger. It'll be more expensive. That's by the pound. That's so stupid. They go, it's fucking funny. You know, they're all laughing. It's a novel idea, but you're going to do that. And he's Reg says, you all think I'm joking, don't you?

He goes, I'm bloody serious serious i'm i'm serious and his friend says shut the fuck concentrate on shit that's actually possible let's live in reality the reason you're here right now talking to us is because you don't have money to go if we ship you it's more money he said no no this is doable i can do it i can and he says his friend goes you're not honestly contemplating sticking yourself in a box all the way back to australia and he said you bet i am just got to find someone to make it you know someone who's got a bit of a of a hand at woodwork okay so uh john his friend luckily knows is can build anything he's really good at building shit so john put his hands

off and said up and said i'm not fucking building a box for you to go don't you look at me it's exactly what he said no way not happening you can see a sitcom that way no no no but they all looked at him and his friend said what about pressure what about the the planes what about that what about the pressure you're gonna be fucked you're gonna your head's gonna explode and uh uh and then uh uh john says i know this he says about reg i know this bloke better than you encourage him and he'll do it just don't even fuck just stop talking about it so then reg said don't need any encouragement i'm definitely doing it i'm finding out about press pressurization at work tomorrow i'll figure it out. What? So his friends are laughing.

They're like, this fucking guy isn't serious. The friends that don't know him well are laughing. Meanwhile, his friend John's like, oh, God, he's really going to do this. He's going to do this. He's going to figure out a way to ship himself. So he ends up asking all these questions. And his friend says, hold on a minute. Let me get this right. Reg, you're saying that you seriously are considering getting into a wooden box

and shipping yourself over 10,000 miles in cargo. Like that's your honestly thing. That's fucking, that's literally insane. Like he's like, that's certifiably crazy. You're out of your mind. Forget all the logistics of environment. What if you have to pee? Well, they said, that's insane.

You can't be considering it. He said, Reg said, not considering doing. Reg, no. It's happening. So then his friend said, dude, seriously, you're never going to make it. Like, you can't fucking do this. And he said, you want to bet? I'll make it. Reg is like, I never gonna make it like you can't fucking do this and he said you want to bet i'll make it reg is like i will absolutely make it so his friend tom says it's

an interesting idea let's just talk it through and you know maybe you know let's just they're trying to just calm him down he'll get over it he'll punch himself out he'll come up with something else let's take stock of this crazy idea so reg then said it's gonna happen and his friend said i don't think it's ever happened before anyone ever heard of someone being posted abroad and uh his friend said no that's because it's so fucking dangerous he goes the box whatever box it is could end up as your goddamn coffin that's what's gonna happen you're gonna be dead in a box they said this is a prank that could really go this could be bad and And Reg goes, it's not a prank. I bloody well need to get home.

You're forgetting I spent weeks on that tanker. I know how to be gone for a long time. I can do this. So they're like, this is crazy. So then his friend goes, okay, let's talk about technicalities. Logistics, then, if you really are serious about this. What about things like needing a piss? Yeah. There you go. He says this what about things like needing a piss yeah

there you go he says quote i'd have a bottle two bottles one for drinking one for pissing and his friend says what about cost again back to the cost thing the whole point of you can't fly is you don't have the money it costs more it's going to cost more to ship you than it would to fly you and every time you talk about another item in the box it becomes more expensive it's going to cost more to ship you than it would to fly you and every time you talk about another item in the box it becomes more expensive it's more expensive and it's by weight and all that kind of shit so um and his friend who's the john who's the the would-be box builder he said dude he's right reg he said you you get charged way more for freight charges and you'd end up owing more than the cost of a ticket. It's just crazy.

You can't do that. And Reg said, dead right. You're right about that. He said, good point, Reg said. Economy fare at the moment is 228 quid. A bit of freight about my size and weight reckon about 350 is what he said. So it's going to be over $100 more. He says, but I won't be forking out a dime or a quid or whatever the fuck he said.

And they said, how? And he said, quote, I'll be COD, cash on delivery, nothing to pay. So like, hold on a second. He's going to COD himself. You're going to COD yourself in a big box that I have to build across the world. You'll likely be DOA. You're going to be COD and DOA. We got a COD DOA going down here at the airport.

Somebody want to do my COD for this DOA? Anybody? We got to do it ASAP because he's starting to get stinky out here. If you could. Starting to smell BAD. Starting to smell BAD. We need to do it. Definitely ASAP because he's starting to get stinky out here, if you could. Starting to smell B-A-D. Starting to smell B-A-D. We need to do it. Definitely ASAP.

Let's get it out. So should we inject him with this many CCs? No, we're too late for CCs. This is a DOA. His friend said, I've processed the forms at work. Stacks of stuff get paid for at the other end, is what Reg said. He goes, I know this. They get paid for it.

That's what COD is. We can do this. And John said, and who exactly is going to pay for it at the other end? Right. And he said, that's the point. There won't be anything to collect. The person who's supposed to be collecting me won't exist because they'll be invented. I'll just make up a person. Right? by the time and then what he said by the time the airport people find

the empty box i'll be long i'll be long fucking gone oh so it's going to be an open from the inside box oh oh yeah oh this is crazy that what the it's the idea is nuts so his friend actually laughed his one friend said it's kind of fucking brilliant i gotta be honest with you it's kind of brilliant like you know if you it's it's dangerous but yeah it's if you pull it off it's pretty goddamn brilliant and uh so then john said okay let's say i make you a box let's just hypothetical hypothetical i make you a box and i'm not saying i'll make you a box. And I'm not saying I'll make you a box, by the way. That's not what I'm saying. But let's just say I do.

Let's just say I do. He said even if you get all the paperwork sorted, how do you get out at the other end? There it is. When you're in a cargo warehouse, then what happens? With other boxes stacked on top of you. How do you do that? And he said, I'll break out. And they said, well, how will you do that? And he said, I'll break out.

And they said, well, how will you do that? And he said, I don't know, rubber mallet or something. Yeah, a mallet, because then it won't be so noisy. Okay, so we're going to have a mallet in there, too. So, yeah, his friend said, this is getting very criminal now. Now you're going to be in a customs warehouse. That seems like a crime. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's OK. I am here for you.

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up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. He said, they're going to get you for a legal entry over there. And he said, no, I'll have my Aussie passport, no problem. He goes, I'm allowed to be there. Sure, I got in in a fucked up way, but they

won't care. Once I'm there, I'm there. What are they going to do? Kick me out? I live there. That's my country. I was born there. So they're like i mean he's got it all figured out reg says you you guys you drop me off i'll have i'll have forms on my outsides saying i'm gonna be collected i'll bust out at the airport perth probably easier easier to escape from than adelaide yeah and he said you know i can do this and his friend said you're out of your fucking mind you're gonna die

he said you could die you could be killed get crushed you could suffocate yeah like i can't build a box that you're gonna die in i'll feel terrible that's gonna be awful that's the other point when you ship something you don't know what that box goes through yeah to get to the other end that's you have no idea no you see it banged up and scratched it's got to be going through something so his friend said yeah and if we gets caught if we he gets caught we'll all be up on charges to manslaughter if he dies manslaughter accessory who the hell knows they said this is this is crazy um then he says he says no if he gets caught we'll just plead ignorance like we didn't know he was in there he asked us us to ship something. We didn't know it was him.

I don't know. We just did him a favor. He wasn't there. He just said, ship this box. Yeah. So he says, Reg says, are you saying you think it's impossible not to get caught? Oh, boy. And his friend said, 50-50, I think.

I think it's 50-50. And Reg said, I'm prepared to bet on myself. I think I can pull this off if it's 50 50 and reg said i'm prepared to bet on myself i think i can pull this off it's 50 50 he said if you don't want any part of it no hard feelings but you know i could use the help so they're like this is this is fucking crazy so they talk all about it they go down to the pub they talk about it a little more they have a couple of pints which this is before they were drinking this is his idea that stuff usually helps helps the clarity really form so it does yeah you don't you don't have crazy out there ideas when you've had a few pints and you do you that's when your ideas get

really really sharp and laser focused and yeah they really real pragmatic that's the word i'm looking for for you work out the kinks on oninks on the rough draft over a couple of pints. Most good businesses, that's how they were developed. Shit hammered. Which is probably true. So they said, this is crazy, man. Are we going to actually do this? And his friends are all talking to each other afterwards, and they're like, he really wants to do this.

What are we going to do? We have to do it now. Yeah, the one guy i hope i hope your wife is worth it man this is nuts she seems great so i mean geez she must be great and then finally his friend john says okay you fuck you lunatic maniac if you really want a box that bad i'll build you a box so wow after a few pints he agrees he gives in to building the box and um he says this john guy says because knowing you you'll do it anyway god knows what you'd end up in some kind of agricultural piece of junk that falls apart before liftoff he said you don't stand a chance of pulling this off unless someone makes you a half decent sturdy container and uh looks like that idiot's me i'm your guy i trust me yeah so he said if this

box is supposed to get you to the other end of the side of the world it warrants a bit of time for design he goes i can't just you know nail a pine box together and you get you in it has to be we have to figure out how you'll actually survive it airtight it yeah yeah so he uh he reg brings home a pamphlet from work that states that all cargo holds on planes were pressurized so that's good that means yeah because that's where they keep pets so they have right so yeah people ship pets down there so he was uh he goes that does it he goes plenty of oxygen let's fucking do it that does it that does it i can breathe i'm in so they're drawing all these boxes up and he says reg says breathing seeing eating pissing he said that's what i need in there he goes uh room for a backpack and a

duffel bag food and drink and security is what he says. So that's what we need. And he says, yeah, I don't want to be it has to be secure. I don't want to be falling out when they start moving me about. He goes, that could be bad. So his friend says, well, you get the paperwork started. I don't want to be making the goddamn thing and then find out it's not

going to happen because they won't let you ship it or whatever the hell. So he goes, make sure you're allowed to ship it. So Reg has to state sure you're allowed to ship it. So Reg has to state the name and address of the sender and recipient. That's part of the gig when you're sending something overseas. So he said, you know, we can't make the sender any of us. And I'm sure you don't want to, you know, do all of that. So they said it's got to be a company of some kind, as Reg says. An ordinary person isn't going to send a giant box to Australia like this, a big crate.

It's got to be sent by a company to another company, a company that makes stuff that needs special stuff to make it, he said. Something like that. Some weird shit that they don't know what it is even. He said, his friend said, like a shoe company or something. So Reg says, exactly. Let's make it a shoe company. Let's make it what you guys call like it a shoe company okay let's make uh let's make it what you guys call like a fancy shoe company let's do that let's do a fancy deal he

said how about the supreme shoe company and his friend said sounds a bit chinese which it does because it sounds like an american like uh buffet or something like that where it's supreme number one happy best you know that's something like that where it's supreme number one happy best you know that's an old joke because it's true and it still exists there's a bunch of them in phoenix too yeah a whole bunch but it's super funny that they say that then yeah because today a very expensive designer uh was called supreme supreme exactly. And back then, sounds a bit Chinese. Sounds a bit knockoff to me. So 1964.

So Reg says, maybe it is Chinese. Why not? Who cares? He says, quote, why can't the Chinese have shoe companies? He goes, there's loads of Chinese companies in australia why not a shoe company feels racist to you boys yeah you think so they said well what are we sending what do we say we're sending in the you know in the lading the bill of lading there and they said the stuff for shoes just stuff for shoes and right shoe stuff. English shoe stuff. So his friend said plastic.

And his other friend said like emulsion stuff. And Reg said plastic emulsion. Yep. And his other friend said, what is that? And they go, I don't know. Who fucking knows? It sounds good. It sounds technical, like something for shoes.

Nobody that works on a shipping dock knows either. That's exactly what they thought they go who cares it doesn't matter it sounds technical it's a company sent into a chinese shoe company in australia i'm sure they need that plastic emulsion sure why not sounds like something that pollutes rivers let's send it yeah so they worked out that they're going to send a box of plastic emulsion from the southern chemical company at 87 Gloucester Road in London to the Supreme Shoe Company in Perth, Australia. Sounds great. The box is going to be, they found out the largest dimensions allowed on the form on this one.

So they built the box to those specifications, which is five feet by three feet by two feet, six inches. So five- It's a giant box, five foot long, three foot wide, two foot, six inches high, 15 square feet, 15 square feet. Not a place where you'd want to hole up for a few days though. No, no, that is very uncomfortable. It's tight. That's pretty goddamn tight, especially if there's other shit in there besides you.

So, um, they're going to send it COD. It's going to be collected by a Mr. Graham that he put on there. So he said, this is great. Cash on delivery. Best way to travel. I love it. So he ends up, they get up enough money to purchase the supplies for the box, which is just some wood here.

They got 26 five-foot-long softwood planks, six inches wide, and eight six-foot lengths of two-by-two-inch timber, a three-foot square sheet of hardwood, six dozen screws, six dozen nails, a pot of wood glue, and that's how it is. So that's what he's got. Sounds like a solid structure. He's going to build that. So yeah, he's going to get back there. This is what it's how it is. So that's what he's got. Sounds like a solid structure. He's going to build that. So, yeah, he's going to get back there. This is what it's going to be. So as John's building it, his friend says,

he's going to go through with this, isn't he? He really is. And his friends go, I don't think he's going to change his mind. I think he's doing it, John said. So he says he misses his wife, and he wants to see his little girl, but it's insane, but he's doing it. Like, that's life here. That's life with old Reg.

This is what javelin money is. Yeah, this is what you have to do with javelin money. Yeah, not exactly on the cover of a Wheaties box here. This is a problem. So Reg goes to the freight dispatch to do the paperwork ahead of time at Heathrow Airport and goes in there, goes up to the counter, and he sees the warnings all over the counter advertising the serious nature of some sort of shipping crimes, you know? Criminal, fraudulent, duplicitous, bogus, all these different warnings.

And he's like, oh my God. He's like, holy shit, this is bad. He said he didn't even know what duplicitous meant, but he suspected it was probably what he was doing. I don't know what that is, but it's probably what I'm doing. So that's bad. OK, I'm shipping myself. So probably that probably lying and being bad. Yeah, I don't know is what he says.

So anyway, he gets up there and the guy says, so your company wants to send a crate of plastic emulsion to Perth. The addresses are clear. He said, plastic emulsion. I don't think I've ever heard of that one before. And Reg goes, oh, really? That's surprising. He goes, been around for a long time. At least 12 hours.

Since last night when we were shit-faced and I made it up. Remember that? That's how long it's been around for weren't you at the bar no you oh that's right you weren't there it was me and my friends yeah we made it up last night been around a long time just being honest all air travel should be cod it would make sense yeah well if you don't get me where you said you were going to get me, I'm not paying you. Can you imagine the brawls at the gate, though, as people are like, I'm not paying, motherfucker. People freak out now when they've already paid and they have $600 on the line and they're still freaking out getting thrown off planes.

Imagine if they already got there. Yeah. Oh, my God. You be nicer to me or I'm not paying a goddamn dime. It would be blood sport when they landed holy we landed uh welcome to dallas uh if you're connecting you will pay on your next flight thank you for flying american you'd be you'd need to have like bouncers like two giant bouncers at the doorway of the plane as people go out like when they're collecting collecting the to get into a club or some shit so that's what you'd need there otherwise but i mean you you

pay every every product you get you pay when you get it except for that bullshit yeah and they never do what they like tickets to our shows in 2023 you pay before you get it but trust us it's worth it it'll happen shut up and give me murder.com airfare they don't always do what they say they're gonna do they clearly don't pay after i get my service we've been there a lot hotels you have to pay before you stay there too it's yeah gas not fair those are the only things i could think of for that though even a restaurant you all the food, then you pay for it. If you sit down. If you sit down. If you go up to the counter, they want their money now.

Right now. You're not going to be here very long. So the guy at the counter is like, okay, fine. I don't think I heard that. Oh, that surprises me. And he's like, whatever. I don't know. I'm a shipping clerk.

What the fuck do I know about plastic? I don't know the fuck about Supreme shoes. No. So they said, all right, we have an address for the supreme shoe company in perth but then they ask him mr graham has agreed to pay the freight charges on the other end is that right and he said that's right reg says uh we've had so many problems with unpaid international accounts that we have a new policy of cash on delivery uh-huh so uh the guy says don't blame you people are really trying to get away with everything these days ridiculous so uh last week we had a guy trying to ship himself

it's super weird right yeah he he died in the air actually we we shook him out of his little pine box there he was stinking by the time we got out hard to get him out too he had entered rigor and just shoulder got hooked in there. Couldn't really. We had to we had to snap his arm off to pull him out. It was pretty rough. Really turned into a nice soup at the bottom of the box. There was a slurry would be the best way to describe it. In a slow drip.

It was pretty bad there. So they're talking about this. And he says, Reg says, the shoe company needs this immediately. So when's the earliest i could book it in and the clerk said well you're booking it with me today um i'm now going to find the earliest date for you to deliver your you know deliver this all the regulations for the box freighter on this sheet um you know this delivery bay closes at 4 30 in the afternoon get it here before that on the date we tell you blah blah, blah, blah. So they said the earliest date it could be delivered would be the 17th.

It would be Air India, Boeing 707 via Paris, Bombay, and Singapore. Oh, my God. Because it's shipping. That's what shipping is. Oh, so many connections. Oh, man. Imagine that shit. So holy shit.

So he comes back with this information back to the apartment, and his friend John is already building the box to his specifications. He made two rectangular frames from the two-by-two-inch wood. He used these at each end as an inner shell that he clad horizontally with the six-by-one-inch tim, screwed, nailed, and glued to the frames. So he's got like a cage in a box, kind of. So it's not that way if the outside of it gets broken or something, we won't get stabbed with a forklift. He's building a small barn. Yeah, he's just building a little.

He's got a frame and then a shell. Yeah, exactly. So that's how that goes. He left a penny width gap between each timber for ventilation, and so Reg could see out as well, which helps. Air is also good. So he's starting to get it together, and the neighbors are complaining because he's in an apartment that he's been hammering for hours and hours and hours. Yeah, but he's like, Jesus, this is crazy. He makes the ends are removable.

Okay, this is fucking interesting here. He checked his drawing. He made the lids so that they would sit flush with the exterior and be held in place by an inner lip inside the original frame. He was screwing in eight vertical six by one inch timbers, four at each end to reinforce the entire structure. And that's what he's doing here.

So Reg walks in and goes, oh, this is amazing. His holy shit. This is awesome. He goes, can I try it out? And his friend said, wait till morning. The glue is not all set yet. I got a few things to do and we'll do this. So he also says, I'm going to line it with paper so they can't see you.

So, you know, there's no seeing you in there. They can't like look through and see if there's any light. He says, I'm going to line it with paper. He said, attach the straps because we need straps on the top and make hinges so you can lock yourself

in from the inside at both ends. Okay. And Reg said, why both ends? And he said, in case an exit gets blocked and you get trapped in there. Yeah, got to give you two exits, babe. Got to give you two exits.

So he's like, okay, Jesus Christ. So he finishes the box. The date comes around. He's ready to go. 1964, let's go. He's ready to ship himself. That morning, he wakes up, takes a shower. He's ready to get in the box.

He can't eat breakfast, though, he remembered, though. No breakfast. You don't want to fill up any. What are you going to have to do with breakfast? Oh, yeah. Then you got to unload breakfast. Yep. But listen, you've got three connections, my friend. You're going to have to shit at some point. Well, he has a plan. He'd eaten very little the night before. He said he ate a very small supper the night before to slow his ate a very small supper the night before to slow his digestive system down a little bit so it all slow and he said he was really hoping to drop a giant log that morning like the last few days all just built up in a one giant turd he can push out and then be all all fiber meals and then be basically clean after that yeah you

know what i mean the last night's meal is just energy, and then everything else is coming out in one big fired-off turd. Okay. So that's what he's doing. Because otherwise, all he's got is a plastic bottle in the box. Not good. Hard to shit in a plastic bottle. That's not easy. So he sorts out all his luggage.

He gets everything ready to go. He's got his backpack. He's got all this shit. He's got a towel rolled around a flashlight. He's got a flashlight in there. He searched secondhand bookshops for a thin book. He needed something that couldn't fit much. So a thin book that he could find interesting.

He didn't have a lot of time, so the only thing he could find was The History of British Athletics Coaching, Triumph or Failure. Okay. That's the book. And it's a real small little book. He's like, oh, triumph or failure. Okay. That's the book. And it's a real small little book. He's like, oh, this is going to suck. This is what I have to read. That sounds boring as shit.

He also had the pea bottle as well, obviously. He's got the pea bottle. He's got a bottle of fruit juice. They're the same bottle, by the way. Oh, God. He should have used different bottles you know what i mean soda bottle for pea juice bottle for juice don't mix them up my friend yeah so that's interesting he also said don't mix them up he had two large i guess cans because they say

tins i think it's a can over there two large cans of spaghetti bolognese. So he had like a couple of Chef Boyardees in there. A couple of beefaronis, basically. Spaghetti bolognese in a can. Yeah, he's got two beefaronis, a fruit juice, and a pee bottle is what he's going to work with. Wow. One of the cans has a can opener and a spoon rubber banded to it. So he's got that. There is a packet of cookies he's got, too.

Yeah. A chocolate bar and one tube of fruit gums. So gummies. Yeah. What are you going to do about tomorrow? That's what he's got. That's all he can fit. That's his traveling gear. it's all he can fit that's

his traveling gear okay oh boy now he wanted to eat one of the spaghettis for breakfast but his friends are like what are you what's wrong with you that's all you've got yeah i didn't know you get CTE doing javelin because you must. Somebody hit you in the back of the head with a spear. What the fuck is happening? So he changed into his travel clothes, which is a T-shirt and track pants and like warm up stuff like, you know, warm up jacket and sneakers. Comfy clothes like he's going for a jog. Like he's going on a plane.

clothes like he's going for a jog like he's going on a plane he had a larger bag that had everything else that he came with a pair of jeans his track suit shorts two t-shirts some underwear socks a suit an actual like suit and tie uh like you know dress shoes and javelin boots a whole whole baggage holy he's got that and uh table mats that he bought for his mom. Oh. Because it's got pictures of beef eaters at the Tower of London. So he wanted to give that to her. So he's got all that. Of course, his passport as well that he's going to need once he gets there.

So they said, let's go. We've got to get over here. And he's getting in there. He said, all right, I've got to go to the bathroom. I'll do the checklist. Reg came out of the bathroom. He's like's getting in there. He said, all right, I got to go to the bathroom. I'll do the checklist. Reg came out of the bathroom. He's like, mission accomplished there. That worked out well.

Launched it. I know my system. I launched that javelin a record distance. They checked everything to make sure he had everything he would need on the plane. His bag, by the way, is strapped to the roof of the inside of the. Brilliant. Yeah. So it's like hanging above him.

That's how they do that. So they finish sticking the labels on the outside that said fragile and this way up also. So they wouldn't flip him over. Nobody wants that. And we trust them to do this. Yep. Now, he's over six feet tall and he's in a five foot length thing. So that's- So he's bent. That's rough. He's got a decent ceiling, which is nice. He can lean up a little bit at least, but he's he can kind of lean back and sort of straighten his legs out a little bit. So he gets himself into the car. He gets himself into the box. I'm sorry. And he said he's getting into the box. He checked his watch at 3.17 p.m. on October 17th, 1964.

He's getting in the box. So they said, all right, let's go. They gave him his backpack, and his friend said, you don't have to do this. You can still change your mind. We'll call this a fun adventure. You know what I mean? And he said, I'm not backing out now. Jesus Christ, let's do this.

Paperworks filled out. They're going to be looking for the box. And they said, seriously, man, his friend called it reckless. And Reg stopped him and he said, you know what they say? That every person's life should include one reckless moment. Nobody says that, by the way. Is that what they say? I've never heard anyone say that before.

Maybe in 64 they stopped saying it after this. Yeah. Everyone should risk their lives for no reason at least once. Really, it's good for you. So they said maybe if we do, or his friend was laughing. He said, well, if you do get caught, maybe we can sell the story and pay for the freight charges. And they're all laughing. And they said, tell us when you get back, please.

Call us when you get there if you do get there. Yeah, don't leave this sitting on my conscience for the rest of my life yeah so they get him into the shipping bay and just as they do the clerk puts the clothes sign up oh and they were like oh too late his friends were happy they were like oh good we were not going to do this and he said no no you're the last let's go let's get you in here we got room for one more shit so his friend john filled out the forms and did all of that shit they uh they ordered the clerk told the guys to lift the delivery onto the industrial scales they did um you know all his three friends lifted this big box onto there the clerk said this is the maximum size allowed because they knew that already from the paperwork and um yeah they were saying um

here's your receipt they said cash on delivery so there's nothing to pay and the guys were like so john was like we don't have to take it anywhere else and they said nope we got it from here we'll take the rest have a good one everybody it'll be in australia before you know it at some point so here's his journey now he's's in the box. Holy shit. He's in the box in a cargo warehouse. Wild. Okay. The box sits on the scale for over an hour.

It's sitting there. The clerk is doing paperwork. He can hear the clerk calling his wife, talking to her, talking about when they'll be home and all this sort of thing. There's a big, dumb box sitting there. I'm almost done. These three fucking dipshits brought in this box. And I don't know. The biggest thing that we allow.

Can you believe it? Can you believe it? The last one. So they get four guys to come back and pick it up. And they do. So for the next hour and 35 minutes, they brought it all around the floor so they could get to the, they moved it around so they could reach smaller crates and packages that were stacked behind it. Eventually, it's placed onto an open truck and driven outside.

Oh, boy. Oh, my God. It's like sliding back and forth around corners and shit back there too. It's wild. So they get to the storage shed. They end up – they put it high up in the corner of the warehouse is where they put the box okay so it's just him stacked way up you've seen these big warehouses yeah picture uh beverly hills cop one when they go in and call these shipping

that that's what it is just big stacked crates. They stick him in a corner up high in a box. So that's where he is up there. Awesome. So he's like, holy shit, this is crazy. And he knows where he is. He could feel himself going up and moving around and them saying put it up there and all that kind of shit. He said that he can hear what's going on out there. He's peeking out through the – he peels like a little piece of the paperback so he can see out of the cracks to see where the hell he is.

His flight's delayed. So, Jimmy, your flights get delayed a lot. I feel you, bud. At least you're not in a five-by-three box while it's happening in the top of a warehouse. At least you're in the airport bar having more drinks. It's a lot better probably. So his flight's been delayed. He has 13,000 miles to travel.

Oh, God. And he said if he sat up, he could stretch his legs out, but if he was lying down, he couldn't do that at all. So it was a real... He couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep, which you cannot find a comfortable position to sleep like that. You have to stretch at some point.

So he then kind of pushed himself up against the back of the box and kind of sat up a little bit. Yeah. Tried to do one of those. He got the, he tried to get the strap cause he strapped in in case he gets flipped over. So he gets one strap off and he, his left arm is twisted in there. He's tryingpped in in case he gets flipped over so he gets one strap off and his left arm is twisted in there he's trying to in the dark he's trying to get a strap off of him he's in a

box imagine the claustrophobia for this holy shit oh i would lose my mind i can't do it this is crazy i'm claustrophobic in an airplane yeah this is next level yeah if i can't stand those little planes like going from cincinnati to somewhere like if I can't stand those little planes like going from Cincinnati to somewhere, like if I can't stand up, I am uncomfortable the entire fucking time. If I have my whole head bent when I walk in, how you doing? Nope. So he straightened out all this that was dealing with his shoulder, and he's kind of trying to shift his weight around so he can get these aches and pains out of him. And he's a young athlete, too so and this is still hurting him i'm picturing our bodies but imagine this guy he's he's hurting so he said that he it was very

still in the warehouse and like every time he moved any little creek he'd be like oh shit yeah can people hear that yeah that's the other part like why is this box making so much noise yeah so he he tried to go to sleep he's like maybe i can sleep maybe if i just sleep through this that's the best way to get through it like like anybody flying so he's still in the warehouse though he said it's starting to get cold and is the problem here so he uh didn't feel like getting his jacket out of his backpack that was all strapped in so he took the towel from his backpack that he had instead of his big bag. He wrapped it around his shoulders and he was like, OK, I can sit with my legs straight or lie down with my legs bent. So he's like, OK, what do I do here? So he starts to nod off finally. And then he gets a feeling. that feeling is I have to piss shit.

Okay. So he's got a piss and he's like, fuck. So he looks around the backpack, making sure he's got the right bottle. He doesn't piss in his juice. He tries to find a position where he can piss. Also,

you don't want to be on all fours, all fours or on his side, I guess. Dick kind of in it and it tilted. Even that's dangerous though. So he's trying to figure out, he does, he figures it out. He pisses in the bottle after that he ate two cookies yeah um problem is he said shit they made him thirsty the cookies and he's like fuck now i'm thirsty so he's only

got one bottle of juice for 13 000 miles so he takes a couple of small sips just enough to wet the mouth and uh shaped his backpack into a pillow and fell asleep up there. So now he's asleep at least. He is awoken by people jostling the box around and everything like that. He says there's a forklift coming at him. He's like, oh, shit. He gets hit like there's a big jolt to the box and he hears somebody yell slower you're supposed to be picking it up not knocking it over

this is gonna be 13 000 miles okay this is as it's pushed like sideways like almost up on its side then he's like oh god jesus let this guy not be fucking as bad at this as he seems to be. So the box tilts up into midair. He hears people yelling. He feels that at one point the box is like half. It's dropped, basically. He said he felt his ass lift up off the ground, up off the box, and it landed on the flatbed truck. They basically dropped it on the truck. He heard the boss say, whatever's fragile in there won't be fragile anymore.

It's going to be fucking broken. Yep. So he then felt the box being shoved by people like pairs of hands into the plane's cargo hold. like pairs of like hands into the plane's cargo hold. So someone said, let's get this big heavy one off to the side and keep it there. So there's less work for the people at the other end, put the smaller stuff up there so they don't have to move it first.

So he said he felt himself getting pushed over. You know, he said he's glad they didn't turn them upside down. That would have been terrible. Yeah. He hears baggage handlers going all, cause this isn't the whole, this is where people's's luggage is and shit.

So when he's down there, he can hear the noise of the seatbelt light going on. He can hear the announcements over the loudspeaker. He can hear that sort of shit. He's thinking about there's bathrooms up there. People are being served meals up there, enjoying themselves, having drinks and shit, not having to piss on a bottle.

So he said that he's, he's, uh, you know, kind of drifting in and out of sleep and all this type of shit, uh, trying to figure out what's going on. He says, okay,

the plane starts moving again. It's 7 48 PM. So at this point he's been in the box for 28 hours and 31 minutes and he just started moving and he's just taking off on the plane the plane reached his cruise it's cruising altitude at this point he is cramped he is fucking hungry he knows it's a short flight to Paris. Here, it's a very short one from London. So he knows if he's got to eat something, he's got to do it really fast. So he pops the locking dials, locks on the lid, pushes it off, pops the lid off, and, you know, get out of the way.

The first one's, by the way, something's behind it. He can't get out of that one. So he has to go to the other one and gets out of that one. So he's lucky the guy put two entrances in there. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that.

Bing! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me.

Leave her. A long. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor.

You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head.

It's an all new season. It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. you can say anything judy justice only on freebie so he hoped maybe some food would take his mind off all this shit so he takes a couple of gulps of juice and then he opens one of the the chef boy rd i suppose opens up his beefaroni and he's you know kind of just mumbling like all right well i'm here i'm in the

plane i mean this is i did this i'm doing it yeah he's sitting on top of the container now everything's great top of the world ma so he you know he's eating the spaghetti like it's trying to act like it's fun eating the spaghetti and then all of a sudden some turbulence comes oh shit and he starts jumping around he eats about half the spaghetti takes a couple more sips from the juice and says okay now i gotta really ration this shit now i got a good base gotta ration it he's still hungry so rather than you know be hungry he starts looking around the freight area for shit to do basically looking for shit that you know just stuff you know he just uh looking for things what's in here what's stuff. You know, he's just looking for things.

What's in here? What's in there? What's in this freight? Just to try to distract himself. He noticed a small crate that said it had 300 umbrellas in it. And he said, that can't be right. You can't fit 300 umbrellas in here. That was his main concern.

So he thought about the logistics. Challenge. Of how would you fit 300 umbrellas in there. And some time went by that way. He said that he found a few boxes that were going all the way to Perth. So he was like, neat. We'll all be together. That's great.

Me and you, boys. So then he realized that the plane is descending to land. So he has to get him way back into his you know little crate there he gets back into his box and uh bundles himself in gets himself all in there uh he's got the half-eaten can of spaghetti with the spoon keeping out and he's sticking out he gets that he closes the lid and uh he gets in the box and here comes the plane lands and he's like like, all right, this is pretty good. He goes, we're landing. I'm good. So he lands, and then he said, shit.

Once he lands, he goes, I left something sitting on one of the containers. Not his container, the other one here. He's like, fuck. You know what it was? It's his piss bottle. Oh, no. He left his piss bottle up there. So he's like, fuck, this isn't good so he'll get it he

locked himself he couldn't it was people were starting to come he didn't have time so he locked himself in and he's like let's just hope they don't notice it or they just think one of the guys on before on the other side left it and by accident or something uh he hears heavy machinery and you know all sorts of shit they're fueling the engine there's things driving around the the runways he's like oh my god this is fucking crazy this is wild he said about this whole thing he said quote i got out of the box between london and paris dying for a leak i peed in a can and put it on top of the box he says i was stretching my legs and all of a sudden because it's a short distance, the plane began to descend.

A little panicky, I jumped back in the box and the can of pee was sitting on top. The French baggage handlers thought that it had been left as a joke by the London people. Like the London airport people. Reg said they were saying some terrible things about the English, but they didn't even think of the box. So I just kept on going. So the plane, you know, is going again, takes off. And he found his plastic pee bottle there. He was like, OK, I found that.

So when he's flying to Bombay now, he says, should I get out of the box? Maybe I should. He said, maybe I should stay in for a while so I have something to look forward to. I'll stay in here for a couple hours. Then when I get out, it'll feel really good to get out. That'll be better. Yeah. He ate four squares of a chocolate bar and found the fruit gummies in a flashlight and tried to find a comfortable position to read the book on british athletic

coaching as he had a flashlight france to bombay yep so he's doing that um he said he liked reading you know reading's fine he said i bet that guy that my wife's fucking read a lot of books he's a lawyer i bet he's gonna know all sorts of shit from books so he got mad at that and then he he pops the lid off he gets out gets his pee bottle um now he doesn't know what to do he said i need a i need a something fast here i need a portable a portable toilet fast he said that uh he wasn't prepared to drink all his juice just so he could piss in the bottle and he said there's only one option and that was to eat the spaghetti in the can and use the can okay so to finish off his spaghetti so he ate the the spaghetti and um he didn't want it even at that point just shoveling it in so he said everything

he's got a piss he's got a piss so what he does is he chews the pasta and does all that. Piss is in there. What he's going to do, though, is pretty interesting, what he's going to do to piss here. He said as he was eating the spaghetti, he was thinking about T-bone steaks and things like that to get him better here. So what he ended up doing is taking the cellophane from – this is crazy – that was wrapped on the placemats he got for his mother right taking the cellophane lining the can in cellophane pissing into the can and then tying it up like a little water balloon and leaving the cellophane piss bag and having a cellophane piss bag but at least it's all contained at that point yeah he said it looked kind of nice too it was cute it looked like a little like you were giving somebody christmas chocolates or something and a little wrapper

it was very nice now you've got loose table mats yeah now well that's fine it's better than loose piss i guess all over you yeah good point so in india um he lands and he said as soon as he gets off they pull him off the plane in india okay. And he said it was just light and heat and heavy air and humidity. He's like, Bombay. I'm in Bombay. Shit weather. This is rough. He could see his straps and he stuffed his backpack behind his back and he grips the can of urine between his thighs

before securing his waist with his arms here. He said within seconds they're pushing the container all around. He starts to slide in the direction of the door. He thought he was going to be loaded onto another aircraft. The forklifts are going by, all this type of shit. And he didn't know what he was doing he ends up being sitting there for an hour so then he heard here's machinery coming prepares to be moved again and uh he said that they laughed and cursed as the bottom of he heard the workers like laughing out there and shit as the bottom of his box scraped along the edge of the doorway he said he was scooped out of the belly of the plane and pulled up by a, by a big hoist.

Basically here, he said he heard, he said he was like smelling everything and hearing everything. He said he hits the ground with a jolt and then he hears, you know, voices and, uh, all this type of shit.

Um, I guess that his crate, basically they pick his crate back up, because I guess they landed it on another box, so they pick his crate back up. But the way they pick the crate back up, they do it too haphazardly, and rather than picking it up horizontally, it's now vertical. Oh, God.

So now Reg is in a vertical box, holding his straps, trying to keep him from ripping into his body here. He's like, holy shit. Oh, my God. This is bad. This is bad. He's basically. And by the way, he's upside down.

The box is the wrong way. So he's vertical with his head down. Oh, no. Not good. Yeah. And he's trying to tighten his grip on the piss between his legs. He's got that sitting there. Yeah. So he didn trying to tighten his grip on the piss between his legs. He's got that sitting there.

So he didn't know what to do. He lets go of his arm straps, grabs the can with both hands, and he's got the straps looped on his elbows. He's really trying to do all this shit, right? So he's like, Jesus Christ, why the fuck are these people? Why are they doing this to me, basically? Don't they know there's a person in here? So he rested. Oh, my my god it's fucking ridiculous so his bag fell on his head all this crazy shit happens they end up getting him flat

again luckily here um so he's watching out he's looking at everything it was 4 52 a.m in england he said he's been in here for 37 hours now. Jesus God. So he's like, he doesn't know where he's being taken all around these warehouses. He's kind of being moved around. He said it was really fucking hot. It was just swelteringly hot and inside of a box it's even hotter.

He can just hear voices kind of coming in and going away. At one point he knows the workers are sitting there eating lunch. he can smell curry and he can hear people talking he says he starts to sweat so bad that he starts to take his clothes off he's going to get naked that's the only thing he can do so he's trying to take his clothes off in there which would be very difficult to do and he said he was super pissed off because the workers sat on his box during their lunch break.

He heard a creaking while he was taking his underwear off. He's like, hey, you son of a bitch. So he's like, bastards. So this is fucking ridiculous. Says fragile. Jesus, guys. Yeah. He's like, this sucks.

He said, quote, it was hot as hell in Bombay, so I took all my clothes off. Wouldn't it have been funny if I got pinched then that would have been hilarious he said they had this thing on its end i was on the tarmac while they were changing me from one plane to another i'm strapped in but my feet are up in the air i'm sweating like a pig but not to give up wait be patient and eventually they came and got me and put me on another plane is what he said so holy shit he is um they take him across the runway it starts to rain and he's like oh this is great he loved it because he could feel the drops coming through and he was like drinking them he thought it was great so he's like this is terrific so they take off from bombay and they land in singapore now so now he's in singapore holy shit so he is um you know stressed out at this point imagine how two days into this now yeah two days into this

he's really fucking stressed out um he sits there in singapore for a while um he can hear them doing their things out there now he's getting used to it, but he's getting really impatient, really impatient here. They take off from Singapore onto Perth, and he's dozing off, he said. He's almost dozing off on the flight with the lid open and his lower legs poking outside. So he's like, yeah, it's all good. but he's like jesus christ i what if i what if i land and fall asleep sleep right can't fall asleep right he ran out of juice a long time ago so he's really thirsty and he doesn't drink his pee by the way he's very thirsty and he's starting to believe he can do it though but he's also starting to lose his mind he said he's starting to believe he can do it, though, but he's also starting to lose his mind. He said he's starting to get, like, panicky and shit like that.

As the aircraft – by the way, Singapore, when he was landing, they had to do, like – it was a really rough landing to where the ones – type of landing where the whole plane claps at the end. Oh, shit. He had to do that in a box. Think about that. No clapping from him about that thing from him no clapping from him no so he said this time it starts shaking as they go into perth but he didn't even give a shit anymore he's like i don't care kill it kill us all i'd kill us get us there plunge me into the ocean i don't give a shit confuse Confuse the wreckage investigators terribly.

They'll have no idea. Why is there an extra body? So he looks at his watch. It's been 63 hours. 63 hours. What's three days? 72? Jesus.

Fuck. Holy shit. And now he's got his hardest thing in front of him. Getting on the plane in the box was the easy part. Right. Anybody can do that. You got to get the fuck out of there. Now he's got to figure it out.

What the fuck is he going to do? How's he going to get out of the airport? How's he going to get out into the airport, out of the shit? So he's like, I don't know what to do. So he was hoping he gets out. This is crazy. What he ends up doing is he hears them unloading him and everything and then he hears somebody say that they're going that it's lunchtime so he's like okay they get off

for lunch they leave the warehouse and he's like okay awesome i can get out of here now he says perfect so he listens to them all follow out file out he hears the squeak of the door close it's a big metal like warehouse and he said okay fine he reaches pops his latches from the end um he it's like oh shit that was the the lid falls off and crashes on the floor he's like oh shit anybody hear that nobody heard it so he takes his bag from the strapping of the roof of it and um he's like okay this is it i can do this and he's he's crawling around between the boxes so because he doesn't know if anybody's in there or not he doesn't know what to do his legs feel weak because they've been cramped for three straight days he's probably got blood clots for christ's sake yeah he's lucky he's in such good shape or

he would so he leans on the end of a box and he's looking around. He's trying to figure out what's going on. He finds a door and he goes to open it, but it's got a metal chain padlocked on the outside. What the fuck? Fuck. He closes the door. That's how they secure this place? Yeah, from the outside. So he's like, shit.

He closes the door, releases the handle. He's looking all around trying to find a way to get out of here. He's like, how can I bust this chain? So he's looking all around. He spots a huge shelf and a long work bench covered with tools at the end. He gets a, uh,

he finds like a, a bolt cutter. Basically. Um, there's all this type of shit. He finds bolt cutters. Beautiful. Grabs them,

spends them, goes back down the aisle, opens the door. He's trying to get it. Finally. He's like havingters. Beautiful. Grabs them. Spends them. Goes back down the aisle. Opens the door. He's trying to get it. Finally, he's like having a hard time. It's an old rusty chain and lock, but he's having a hard time. He drops the bolt cutters at one point. They make a loud slam against the tin shed, make a loud noise.

Finally, he – Neo and Titanic. Yeah, that's exactly. Finally, he pop. He pops them. He breaks the chain with the bolt cutters, which, again, super loud. Sounds like a gunshot going off that. So he's like shit. So he stops there. Oh God, what do I do? So he's sitting there waiting. Nobody's coming. Nobody heard it. Or there's a lot of loud noises outside of an airport i guess so he looks around he sees that there's sheds near him a shed that less than 100 yards away he can try to take cover in there because he's looking around he's like warehouse shed warehouse thing he's like i don't want to end up in another warehouse that's where i just

got out of so he takes off across the open ground for the shed he's got about 100 yards to make up he's like you know every every sound is magnified and everything. He wanted to run, but he's like, look calm. Don't look back. Just look like you have somewhere to be. Power walk style. He does this. He ends up going around, getting into this shed, and he sits there for a minute.

Okay. I'm in the shed. All right. Good deal. This is good. I can do this so he looks around pokes his head out of the shed looks around he's like okay there's a bunch of warehouse things a bunch more warehouse things he goes that's where planes are kept that's this that's that that's where they

exit the plane and go to the terminal okay he goes if i can get a jet just landed when those fucking people start coming off if i can sneak my way over to there and just blend i can do this yeah okay he's got luggage i could do although he changed in the shed too because he tore his pants and stuff so now he put a suit on so now he's got a suit on so he's like i got a suit i. I got luggage. I'm just going to blend in. So he ends up, he's doing this. He's waiting. He's waiting. And he ends up just kind of striding into the line in a confident way. And he was like, fuck, let's do this.

Walks in. He gets up to, he goes up with the group. There's a customs checkpoint there. Threw his bag down. Grabbed his passport. And he's like, maybe I should run right now is what he thought. He didn't know what to do. But he took his passport, held it up, and they just said, yep, welcome home. There you go. Have fun. Have a nice day. He walked into the airport and was like, holy shit. I did it. So he gets out and just starts walking down the road.

Yeah. Walking. Like at one point there was a cop car with sirens on coming and he dove into some bushes off to the side and laid there for a while because he didn't know if they were coming for him. Yeah. This is like it's the great international caper here. So he ends up finding a freeway and all this shit and ends up finding a truck stop. Comes upon a truck stop here. And he's like, oh, man, walks in.

He goes for the toilets, obviously. He's going for the bathroom. He goes into the stall. And all this type of shit takes his dump. People tried to rush him, too. And he's like, oh, man, can I have a shit in peace? He yelled at them. And they're like, shit takes his dump. People tried to rush him, too. And he's like, I mean, I can have a shit in peace. You know, he yelled at them and they're like, all right, fine. So he washes himself off a little bit at the sink.

He he shaves Jimmy. What? He shaves of the razor in the sink because, you know, his wife can't see him with three days of stubble. Holy shit. So he does some dirty soap he uses to do this with um he had sold his razor back in england to get to make money for i forgot to mention that to make money for the box he had a he had an electric electric razor that he sold he's like man i wish i had that so he thought about and he's like i did it i fucking did it he goes i'm going to the cafeteria i'm fucking

gonna spend my last five dollars on some some last five quid on some food. Some Australian food. Some proper food. And I'm in. So what happened here was McSorley didn't hear from him right away. His friend John, who built the box. So he alerted the media as to what happened so he could hear what happened. Right.

Yeah. So this became an international sensation as far as like a crazy story. It's fucking wild. John even said, I got a telegram from a renowned Australian politician, and it said, a gallant effort by a real Aussie, and here's five quid. I'm winning big time. It was great. That's what the guy said.

John, he's like, this is great. The guy sent me five bucks because i did well in the end the airline didn't make him pay the shipping fees once everybody found out about it um yeah he said he didn't expect this kind of coverage once anybody found out he said quote i've never seen anything like it it scared the hell out of my mother with the whole street blocked with media and it would go on for weeks it was pretty wild it's if you look up his name that's the first 20 articles or the man who shipped himself from england to australia that's all it is four days in a fucking in a pine box in a box i didn't know they put you in in fucking in that i thought because fedex has its own fucking planes

you know yeah that's if you fedex this is if you go down to the airport and ship with the airport. It's a different thing. They just put you on whatever fucking airline. You can just do freight. Yeah. He said that he made it back for his daughter's birthday, but his wife didn't believe him. He said, quote, she didn't believe me. But then she thought about it, and she thought he must've done it or else,

how else would he have gotten here? She eventually rode with it. Holy shit. Um, by the way, they say that this could never happen. Now, airline people say it could never happen now because the hold is usually

pressure, pressurized and the temperature would be above freezing, but all the cargo on planes now gets screened for security reasons so they would find a human being in there yeah yeah but they could have said back then you could have sent a corpse over there with nobody knowing think about it you could kill someone stuff them in a box send them overseas cod to an imaginary person there you go done How'd you get rid of the body? Where's the body? India. Fucking Bombay. Bombay. So customs agents then were like, this can't be true.

So they went into the warehouse to look for the fucking box. So they look around, they look around, and sure enough, they said, I'll be a son of a bitch. There's the box. Holy shit. They were like, look at this shit. There's piss in it and everything. They got pissed. They said they found moldy bolognese in there.

It's been a little while. Yeah, like half a chocolate bar or whatever he left in there. So he's back in Australia. He ends up continuing his javelin throwing. 66-67 at the Australian track and field something, I guess. I don't know. The Nationals. He comes in first.

Really? With what looks like a career-best 73.77-meter toss here. And he didn't even qualify today. God, no. Jesus, not even in high school, probably. 67-68, he comes in third. But then it was 74.45, so it was better than his first place one the year before. He improved, but not enough.

Then 69, 70, he is third again. And then 74, 75, he's in third place again. So three years in a row. 76, well, not three years, but three competitions because he waited a while in between them. Well, not three years, but three competitions because he waited a while in between them. 76-77, he comes in first place again with a 73.68. So that's a 10-year gap between being champion of that. It's pretty interesting here.

77-78, he comes in second. And then 78-79, he comes in third. And he's down to 65.66 meters. Oh, shit. Because he's 39, 40 years old at this point. It's falling apart. Yeah, your body is rough here. And then in 80, 81, he'll end up trying out for that, too, or competing there. And he'll be third as well there.

So not going well. Now, 1980 comes along. He's hanging out. He's back in Australia. His wife has long, I'm sure, gotten tired of his craziness. Oh, God, yeah. Long since left him, I'm sure. So now he's got a new girlfriend named Annie.

And he's got some friends as well. He's got some friends named Cheryl, Ted, Nico, Laura. He's got all these friends, right? He's got kind friends named Cheryl, Ted, Nico, Laura. He's got all these friends, right? Couples. Couples. Well, Nico and Laura are sisters. Cheryl and Ted are a couple. And he and Annie are a couple.

So that's that. Laura has another relationship. She has a fiancé she lives with, some guy. So either way, he met Annie at some college course he was taking, and she's a redhead and he loves her and thinks she's all hot and shit. So there you go. So they're all excited. Cheryl, one of his friends, is very excited this one morning

because she gets to quit her job. Oh? Yep, she gets to quit her job. She thinks it's awesome. She's going to be able to quit her job because they have a big score lined up. Reg has a plan here. Oh. Okay.

So Cheryl and Ted are a couple. They've been in Adelaide for about six years. He dropped out of college, and she was a teacher at the local elementary school. And there you go. They lived there, hung out with uh with reg and annie and all of them nico his younger sister is laura and uh they grew up on the same street as reg that's how they know reg they know reg from way back so apparently reg had protected them from bullies when they were little what a guy apparently they uh bullies would call them wigs which i don't

know what that means that's probably no hair having motherfucking look at you it's not your hair it's not you liar i don't know what that means it's probably racist i who knows i don't know what are they i don't think they're i think they're white what's it racist. Who knows? I don't know. What are they? I think they're white. What's it racist for? I don't know. Nico might be Greek. I don't know. I don't know what wig means. I don't know either.

That's why it feels weird to say it out loud because it feels like we may get in trouble for that. We don't live there at the Halloween. Right. If you want to Google it. No, who cares? There's not enough people in australia for this to matter over here and then the rest of the world i'm sorry just doesn't whatever it is it's an insult with their fucking accent it's a bad word yeah so um apparently they are greek by the way

because nico and lara because their parents own a restaurant and it's like a Greek restaurant and they work. They call them that. They're talking about their shoulders. Probably. Yeah. Got wigs on your shoulders. So they're apparently they they work there.

Nico and Laura at the restaurant. They bring home lots of good Greek food. So Reg is sitting here with all of his friends around and he's got his notebook out and a beer in his hand. Oh, that's the best times. And he's like, listen, we have got to talk about some shit here. He's like, I need to know who's in and who's out. Okay. Who's in and who's out.

He's like, we need everybody in here. So if anybody's out, we need to find somebody. We need to have all these couples set up here so um they talked about they've been talking about his plan and now he wants to cement his plan um they're gonna everybody needs a big score everybody needs money for something in this group so it's like a like one of these caper movies where you know one of those here everybody's spending their portion on something different the chick who's good with security systems dad has cancer so that's why she's doing it and this one's doing it because he needs to get out of here and yeah we're all in good we all

have good hearts about what we're spending the money on it's all dog day afternoon so yes reg uh he's got it all he's got it all set up. Reg has done a lot of traveling, and he has figured out a way around some things and to get some easy money here. Reg says these are the people he trusts the most, and he can do it. He said that also Nico and Laura are like waiting tables with the family restaurant. Laura's got a fiance. This would be good for her. She needs some cash to go into her marriage with and all this type of shit. Yeah.

So everything's going well. We'll talk about what the plan is here. So look around, and Reg says, just confirming everything for next month, my contact says it's better to travel in mixed pairs, and I can see why. Looks like a couple on a nice romantic trip. Man, woman going away. So the routine is number one couple, bored in Bombay. Okay?

That's what he said. He says the first time will probably be a bit hairy, but we'll soon have it down pat. The riskiest bit is the last lap into Australia. So first trip, it'll be me and Annie doing the home stretch. Okay. This is what we'll get into all of this type of shit here. So there'll be three legs between Bombay and Australia. He says Bombay, Australia, Australia, New Zealand, and then New Zealand, and then back to Australia. And Cheryl said, hold on, what's going on here? And he said, listen

to me, this is how it goes. He goes, nothing's foolproof. He goes, but don't get complacent. We'll get all fucked out over this, so don't do it. He says, okay, number one couple disembark in Melbourne or Sydney. They leave a boombox,

okay, so a radio, in the overhead locker of the place. Okay. No risk there. Nothing for customs to find. Then number two couple board the same plane, now bound for New Zealand. Leave it in the overhead. Now bound for New Zealand. They have the same seat numbers as the first couple.

When they land, they take the hand luggage from the locker. They now have to go through security. But here's the thing. He said as far as the Kiwis are concerned, it's a flight from Oz. So number two, hand over to the third couple at the airport. They do the last leg home, and the aussie customs bloke won't be looking for anything because it's a flight from new zealand right so he's basically laundering himself that's how they're doing it so you leave so you leave the boom box on the plane from bombay yeah and now all of a sudden it's just a boom box that's going back and forth between new zealand and exactly

that way yeah when it's in aust Australia, then goes to New Zealand, it'll never go through customs because it's up in the plane, goes to New Zealand, you take it off in New Zealand, get on a different plane, and they don't check customs in Australia because you're coming from New Zealand. You're laundering it, basically. You're laundering what you have there, and what you have there is going to be cocaine and shit loads

of hash so hash and coke is what they're doing here so that's the plan here um that's the way it works so so you're telling me that then he's doing this with like some crazy regulations loose ass regulations on planes back in the day very loose they clear that motherfucker no they absolutely clear yeah then they didn't at all though so they said and at that point they get here and then that's that so they were like wow holy shit this is um this isn't fucking bad yeah yeah they said so what's the what's the thingy going to weigh do you mean something like Ted's boom box? And Reg said, they said bigger, right?

And Reg said, yeah, it's got to be bigger. He said, we're talking resin here, not grass. It's like a hash, like a concentrate. So it's compressed. It'll be bloody heavy, but we'll need a good bit, at least seven kilos, plus the weight of the machine once the guts are taken out. So they were like, okay this is uh this is interesting said we don't have to buy one of those blasters every time we do a run and they said no we don't it's we'll just recycle same one yeah we'll just recycle it'll be a lot easier that way so um he says he says think of yourselves as shift workers you're taking this shift you're

taking that shift he's very desperate for money is the thing here because he is advertising. He was getting like sponsors and stuff. He's the javelin guy that shipped himself. So he's people know who he is. Oh, my God. That would be that would play so great on shipping commercials or getting anything anywhere fast. Any delivery. Yep.

Any delivery of anything. Oh, my God. Between throwing a javelin and shipping himself. Yeah. It anything anywhere fast. Any delivery. Yep. Any delivery of anything. Oh, my God. Between throwing a javelin and shipping himself, it gets there fast. It will get there at the speed of a spear through the air. Unbelievable. So he had placed third in the national javelin championships in 1979, and it had been 14 years since he's been the Australian champion. Oh, boy. So, you know, He's starting to get less

stuff. At first, he used to get magazine covers and television radios and shit. Now, he doesn't really get anything anymore. He's not getting commercials. He's having a hard time making ends meet. He doesn't want to go back to being a salesman. That sucks. He's like, I don't know what

to do. Within a few weeks, they finished their first run and everything worked out really well Reg and Annie escorted the drugs on the last flight into Australia boom done so pretty easy they said

you know not bad pair number one would be given instructions for a different collection point in Bombay this would usually be a room number in a hotel. And only the men would collect the neatly wrapped one kilo slabs of hash. And then they would, you know, that was it. They'd exchange money for bag. They'd get back on the plane.

Done and done and done. Very coordinated, very nicely. Because you have to have the tickets in the same seats. And, you know, it's a pretty interesting thing here so um they said that cheryl at one point one of the people said you'd think the cabin crew would check the lockers when people left the plane they mean the overhead bins you think they would do that and they said think about it they check them make sure they're closed before takeoff but afterwards they don't give a shit if you've left anything behind.

They don't give a fuck. Don't care. Fuck you. That's your problem. So, yeah, they said that the New Zealand detour was the perfect, you know, laundering situation. They never checked anything. Everything worked out. It's running smoothly.

Everybody's making money. Things are going well. People are buying themselves shit bills are paid uh nico puts down a deposit on a new car wow you know they're doing all that kind of thing and he's buying chanel perfume and reg has a new watch they're all doing great everything's going wonderful yeah problem is the only person everybody is like reg and his fiancee are involved in this ted and cheryl are a married couple they are involved in this. Ted and Cheryl are a married couple. They're involved in this.

Nico and Laura are brother and sister. They're involved in this. Nico doesn't have any any like significant other. Laura has a fiance who knows nothing about this. OK. Her fiance does not know why she goes away for a few days now and then. No clue. No clue.

Doesn't know she has to hide the money from him because she he would be like where the fuck did you get this money from so she's has to hide all this money all the time so um yeah it's it's crazy for for her and they're talking about you know she's saying she's really nervous because she says that she's worried that her fiancé Jeff is going to find out. And, you know, she said, I'm finding harder. She meets with Reg in a cafe and they talk about it. And she says, I'm finding it's getting harder and harder to find reasons to give Jeff for me being away for four days at a time. I don't think he's going to buy it the next time I go.

You didn't come up with an evergreen fucking solution for this? Like the same thing can't be for this. They had nothing. Can't be. No, they have nothing. Yeah. I have a new thing I have to do. She's like a waitress at her parents restaurant. We'll just have to go away. I love curry and it has to be.

Yeah. My my parents need me to go inspect these spices were importing like pre. You know, they don't want to get them here and then have them be bullshit. We get the best chicken bouillon. I can't. Totally. I have to go get it yeah so he says listen if you need to back out for a while i'll find somebody else for you know nico can go at it alone or we can find somebody else for him or whatever but you know don't fuck yourself up he's like it's gonna be all good it's fine um so they left

the cafe you know gave her a kiss on the cheek or whatever. And, uh, she went into a bakery. He gets into his car, turns it on, and he looks in the rear view mirror and he can see a guy standing in front of a laundromat close by. And it is Laura's fiance, Jeff. Oh, shit. Jeff Devlin. And he's been watching them basically. Yeah. Jeff Devlin and he's been watching them basically yeah because Jeff had suspected that Laura was cheating on him because she disappears for days at a time and does all sorts of shit and this man

just kissed her yep meanwhile nothing really no no it's a platonic relationship it's based on crime not sex no you don't understand we're a crime syndicate we're not fucking it's a totally different thing what are you a lawyer you're probably fucking her yeah come on i know these lawyers so he said when she'd first or jeff was thinking when she first moved in she would never go out alone except for doing her work or shopping or shit like that now she's gone for days at a time she's never home oh god you know he said this bullshit uh she had said that she was spending nights with a friend to help look after her friend's sick mother yeah he's like i'm not buying that shit now she picked that that's what she picked that's her i have to go

do that every once in a while she'll be sick forever by the way so yeah this isn't good. So Jeff, the fiance, gets back to his apartment. He's super pissed off. He thinks I caught her cheating on me. Finally, that's what he thinks. I've supported her. I fucking pay the bills. I do all this shit. I'm nice to her.

This is my apartment. For Christ's sake. She moved into here and now she's going to fuck around. Yeah. Fuck her. Gets out a big suitcase starts packing all her shit in the suitcase fucking bitch throwing in her clothes you fucking asshole oh yeah take that oh that's it's yours great you have it i don't want anything of yours in my goddamn

house as he's doing this he's throwing in things and there's all sorts of shit and he picks up a little book it's a little book with butterflies on it and a lock on it. A little notebook, like a diary. Oh no, don't read that. He goes, what the fuck is this? So he wrestles the lock open and he gets the diary open and he's looking at it

and first few months were blank. Then there was pages where Laura had written number one, two, three three or just me on them okay some days had reg and annie others had nico and me or ted and cheryl next to the numbers so she's got a code of who's doing what who's couple number one who's couple number two and who's couple number three that's how they do it so at first jeff said maybe this is like a tally some like a card game or something maybe they were playing yahtzee i don't fucking know when they're the winners and score yeah because it's just their names like team teams

next to and and her her team is with her brother so it's not like oh i'm fucking reg and so she's like maybe that's what it is then he found bunch of names, addresses and room numbers of hotels with Indian sounding names. My wife is a prostitute in India. Weird. A Bombay prostitute. That's weird because we live in Adelaide, South Australia. So he said every page had flight details for routes between Bombay, New Zealand and Australia and even seat numbers. He's like,

what does this mean? What is this? He didn't know if she's crazy, if she's an international terrorist, if she's fucking around. He had no idea what the hell's going on with this lady. Now at this point, what does this mean?

Then he said he found a little note scrawled across the bottom of a page and it said nearly forgot to leave the bag is what it said so he was like what the fuck then he started to figure it out laura and her dipshit brother and a bunch of other dipshits that they're hanging out with are into some sort of smuggling operation from bombay this isn't difficult to figure out they've kept me in the dark because uh he thinks because she's having an affair with reg so that's why she's not telling me um meanwhile she's just not telling him anyway because he's gonna snatch yeah she's like and also now that she's fucking him who else is she fucking indians she in bombay banging her way through bombay is that the porn she's in now? She didn't tell you because she can't trust you.

She obviously can't trust you because you're doing this shit. Because you're looking through her shit while he's kicking her out at the time. He's like, they're probably all so fucking stoned. They didn't even know what they were doing. She's probably fucking all sorts of people. This is ridiculous. God damn it. He's super mad.

So he takes all of her shit and he throws it out in front of the, like on the stoop there in front of his apartment. He's sitting there. He keeps the diary in his hand, though, and begins to walk down the street with it. He arrives at the police station with this diary. He knows one of the officers at the reception desk. And he said that he walked in and he talked, and his uncle's a cop, too. So he said hello to the one cop, walked in, talked to his uncle, and his uncle said, hey, what are you doing here? What's going on, buddy?

And Jeff said, nothing good. I'm afraid. I'm afraid right now. And the guy said, it's not your mom. Is your mom okay? And he says, no, no, no. He goes, look, I've got a little bit of a dilemma. And he showed him the diary.

And he says, Jeff says to him, this doesn't sit well, but I have no choice. You got to take a look at this. And he shows it to him. And the uncle says, it's obvious to me what this is. And it's pretty serious. Whose is it and where'd you get it? Yeah. And he said, it's Laura's. And the uncle said uncle said your girlfriend laura you don't mean her her and he said yeah i found

it today when i was cleaning the apartment and the guy sergeant was like holy shit are you lying son of a bitch your sweet little girlfriend's a smuggler what's up with that so the uncle says you did the right thing looks like this has been going on a while. We'll bust these people, right? So one night back at the clubhouse, Reg and Annie's house there, they're all hanging out, smoking fucking fat hash joints and shit, listening to, literally listening to play that funky music, white boy. Smoking hash joints, right?

Yeah. Big banging on the door. Huge banging on the door. Everyone's like, oh's like oh shit right what do we do here so fuck so reggie says dump everything so cheryl grabs the tray with the hash from on it from nico empties it into another bag that's got some other shit in it uh annie says i'll grab the bedrooms she gets the uh the bag out of Cheryl's hands, goes up the stairs. She scrambles through. She gets weed from up there, bags of weed, stuffs them in this bag, goes to Nico's room, grabs a pipe he has, shoves it under a pile of shoes. She didn't know what to do.

She's like, do I flush this down the toilet? How do I get rid of this? At that point, they hear it's the police. If you don't open the door we're gonna knock it down so what do you do um so annie takes the bag and shoves it in the front of her pants like karen and goodfellas with the gun when it's there i'll just shove it in my underwear they'll never see it a giant football now that's it so she scrunched in there. She pushed it in there. She runs downstairs. Reg opens the door and says, evening, gentlemen.

How can I help you? Hello. Hey, hey, how's it going? Cops burst in there and they say, you know, don't touch anything. We have a warrant. Get the fuck out of the way. They escort Annie and Reg to the living room. Annie's trying to hold in her stomach, make it look like she doesn't have a bag full of drugs there um so she's trying to avoid looking awkward she didn't know what to do

then out of nowhere they're sitting there trying to think of what to do how the fuck do we get it's on her they're going to search her eventually um what do they do they look and see the doors wide open and reg says out of nowhere for's sake, who let the bloody cat out? And the officers look around. They're like, I don't know. And he says, we're not talking about any old cat here. This is a purebred pedigree, a Taiwanese blue, and it cost me a lot of money. I got to go find it.

Everybody, let's go. You cops stay here. So Nico turns and goes no not bluey what bluey and everyone's like bluey oh no bluey so reg gets up and he's like and they're like sit down he's like i'm finding my fucking cat bluey bluey and they're looking around the apartment bluey where's bluey they're looking around the officers. Bluey, where's Bluey? They're looking around. The officers just join in the search for the cat. They stop what they're doing and they start looking for the fucking cat.

So they're like, Jesus Christ, the animal's valuable. They didn't think they wanted to get blamed for it and get in trouble. So they're like, we got to find their fucking stupid cat now. So basically they're like, everyone in the house, the perpetrators, they're looking in the house while the cops go outside to look for the cat. So they do that. At that point, Annie, he looks at Annie and he goes, get the fucking get out. Get rid of that shit now.

Get rid of that bluey. Get rid of that bluey get rid of that bluey so as soon as the last officer gets out steps out the front door annie runs through the kitchen out the back door speeds down fucking runs down a sidewalk gets out of the gate runs down a dark alley basically gets her pulls the shit out the bag out of her waistband stuffs it behind like an old washing machine that's like in an alley somewhere, gets back to the kitchen. By the time she gets back to the kitchen all out of breath, the cops are still outside looking for the cat. So that is fucking wild. They're all laughing.

That does not exist. Yeah, they're laughing their asses off as they're watching the cops literally with flashlights looking through bushes for nothing. So finally the cops gave up looking and they lined up everybody in the house and searched them. And everybody tried to look all nervous even though they knew they didn't have anything. So they frisked everybody. Everything is fine. And that's it. They don't find anything there.

They leave. They say, sorry about the cat, sir. And Reg acts all angry. And he goes, yeah, me too. Thanks. You should be. Fucking jerks. So then they watch them drive away.

And they go, Jesus Christ, if that's the state of the police force in australia we're never getting caught we need help this is terrible wow they're fucking off so then they say but they'll be watching us now nico says we probably need you know let's not make any more runs and reg says no they're not watching us get the hell out of here this isn't the feds it's just the local cops and they're they're just you know breaking ball somebody probably smelled the hash or something they're gonna be out looking for that cat till the end of time now yeah they're still looking for the cat they're gonna sell it for something they go they're just looking for a little bit of grass and you know slap on the wrist kind of stuff they don't get they don't know what

the fuck's going on with smuggling and they were like oh i guess you're right yeah that makes sense why would we be on their radar so they go hey no problem next up reggie and annie leave they get they get some contraband some hash in bombay they complete the first leg the other four left the house later that day ted and cheryl boarded a flight in melbourne and found their seat numbers in row 14 ted put his coat in overhead locker, saw the bag that he's going to grab to take to New Zealand, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But the thing is that even though they didn't find anything at the house, they've been doing a full investigation behind the scenes. Devlin, you know, Laura's fiance, confirmed that to confirm that she was gone on the date specified in her diary. So now they don't really have to even catch them with anything.

They have evidence of a smuggling operation with that. So it doesn't even matter anymore. So information passed on from airport authorities in Bombay and Bombay, Auckland, Sydney and Melbourne placed any two of the six suspects at the various locations on the dates she had specified. So basically it was just all of her notes were just fucking everything completely. Here's everything we've done wrong. We wrote it down for you. There you go. So they were confident that they had the evidence to charge them with conspiring to import cannabis resin into Australia on at least five occasions and all of that shit. So Ted was taken into police custody at the music store where he worked.

Cheryl was arrested at the gates of her school where she worked. Oh, no. Really well. When they were get to the police station everybody's there already all six of them are arrested they're pretty fucked they get bail so they get to get out of there and um their lawyer said you're better off pleading guilty there's a shitload of evidence there's not really much else you can do um you could be looking at 10 and 20 years here between 10 and 20 years is a big deal and ted said all of us everybody and they said

yeah the best we can do to try to get maybe get a lighter sentence for the girls but even that's going to be hard they were clearly accomplices even though they might not have been handling things they were obviously in on it was the same too it's not like you got a different one every time so they were like shit what do we do then there's headlines red spears and five others accused of drug trafficking the guy who shipped himself shipping drugs now. And you can imagine all of the different headlines and how that would work. So they are charged with importing 40 kilos of cannabis resin worth one point two million dollars into Australia between May and November of the year before. So, yeah, they get bail, they get bail and And they could be facing prison sentences of up to 20 years.

So. In the paper. It said Spears co-accused. In the magistrate's court yesterday. Included his partner. Miss Annie Hayes. Restaurant staff Nico and Laura. Alexa Paulus.

And Ted Bate and his wife Cheryl. Until recently, Mrs. Bate taught at a local primary school where staff and parents have told the inquirer that they are shocked by the news of her indictment. The defendants pleaded not guilty and reserved their defense for the Supreme Court. That's what they

say. So Reg said the whole thing's been a huge mistake. On our part or the law enforcement? The cops part. The cops part, yeah. So, you know, huge, huge mistake. They said it's just because Reg is well-known because of the box thing. Otherwise, it wouldn't even be in here.

So they go to court, like we said, with their charge with here. Spears ends up pleading guilty. Okay. Okay. what they're charged with here uh spears ends up pleading guilty okay okay and is sentenced to you sir may fuck off 10 years jesus but he's got bail before he has to go serve so he's got the you know he's got like the henry hill situation now take me to jail so he's got one of those he says well i gotta flee i'm not fucking staying here. This is crazy. Um, got to go. Can you build me a box?

Anybody else? Oh yeah. Any more boxes to end on a good box guy in Australia. So he, he said, you know, I got to take off. I got to do this.

So they end up him, Annie, Nico. They all decide to take off, but just the three of them, Ted, Annie and Nico, they leave behind to take off, but just the three of them, Ted, Annie, and Nico, they leave behind Laura, Nico's sister, and Ted and Cheryl, the couple. They leave those behind. They leave them behind. Ted, when they talked about taking off, Ted didn't really seem too into it.

He was like, I don't know, man, that sounds crazy. I think I'm going to serve my time and get out. Yeah, yeah. So Reg, you know, they're talking, and Nico says, well, what do we do? How do we do this? And Reg says, we apply for real passports with fake names. That's all. He's got a plan.

They said, what fake names? What are you talking about? We have to give a bunch of information. And he says, real names of other people. I've already worked out who I'm going to be. A bloke called Bruce Pennington. They said, who the hell is Bruce Pennington? And he said, some bloke who used to go to the athletics club

and dreamed he could be a pole vaulter. There's this book there. Everyone writes their info, date of birth and stuff. He left because he wasn't much good. Bit of a wimp, our Bruce. And guess what? Terrified of flying, never been out of Australia, and I bet he's never applied for a passport until now good

deal so they need to find fucking more you know shut-ins yeah essentially flight fearful people yeah who never have gotten off of the island they live on so they said you know they everyone's like this is fucking this could work they said they're just gonna have to everyone's gonna have to find someone who they know is not gonna fly fly anywhere. Yeah. That's all. So they said, let's do this shit. They found, uh, so then Nico says, remember that family that lived on our street? Their son was born on the same day as me and our moms always made us share the party. And they go, yeah, good old James Brampton.

Jimmy, Reg said, still lives with his mom. I never thought he was playing with a full deck. So he's a little slow or whatever so they said uh nico said he's not likely to be jetting off to new york for corporate takeovers anytime soon so they're like perfect this is fucking awesome we got it so they're deciding that they're where they're gonna go you know what i mean where do we go they're trying to figure out they're like maybe singapore Singapore, maybe this, maybe that. They get the passports, actually, which is crazy.

So they get their passports. They do all of this. Bruce Pennington, Sonia Priestley, and James Brampton are going to take off. They said there's two flights to Singapore through Melbourne. Annie and I will take the morning flight Annie will go on to Singapore and I'll hang around in Melbourne and take a later connection you fly straight through on the morning flight the next day

we can't book anywhere to stay nothing should be traceable I've done this before we'll figure it out believe me if I can shit myself so they write Nico writes a letter dear Ted Cheryl and Laura let's write some more things oh my god this isn't easy but it's my job to write it so i better get on with it first i want to tell you laura that you've always been a fantastic sister i didn't

think what i'm doing was the right thing for you and i knew you'd want to come with me don't think you're going to spend much time inside and you'll be out before you know it oh great good for you holy shit um this will blow over in a few years please smooth it over with mom and dad for me please smooth over that you're going to prison because of dumb shit i did and that i'm on the run from international law enforcement agencies for the dumb shit i've done just smooth that for me. Wow. Don't be angry with me, with any of us. Perhaps I'm being a coward, but you haven't heard the stories about what happens to, and it's in quotes, W-O-G boys like me in jail.

W-O-G's. W-O-G's. Wog boys in jail. I don't know what that means either. See, we don't know what the fuck they're talking about. We didn't want to involve you three any more than you already are ted and cheryl you've been really good mates we never intended to leave you out of this reg and annie were going on their own and i found out and wanted to take my chances with them you know we know you'll think we're crazy we probably are uh we send all our

love and we'll see you again one day just don't know where or when um destroy this immediately when you've read it take care and good luck with the case. In some ways, I wish I were staying instead of facing the unknown. Love from all of us, Nico, Reggie, and Annie. Please destroy this. James has read it, therefore it was not destroyed. It's not destroyed. That's what I mean.

Clearly not destroyed. Didn't follow directions. So they were thinking, too, we could probably wait a couple years and slip back into Australia with new passports and just pretend to be different people. We could probably do that. I'm sure it'll be a good deal. But they also say Interpol's probably looking for us, so that's not great. That's not good at all. So they end up in Bombay.

That's where they all end up. They go from here to there through here. They end up in Bombay, um they're at the airport they're changing their cash into rupees and doing all that kind of shit and uh right on the front page of the newspaper of they have an australian newspaper their top athlete skips bail on drug charges they're like shit details of everything pictures of him he's like son of a bitch they have disguises and everything they have glasses he's got glasses on and he's got a brown curly wig rather than her red hair they look totally different reg is going and they're they have a little money at first but

it's running out quick they're you know buying some hash and smoking it and hanging out and eating now they need a large supply so that he could offload for cash so they could start doing things. You know what I mean? They needed to be, people needed to look at them like they were extended vacationers, not people holding up in a cheap room and ordering, you know, meager food. Little by little trying to get by. Yeah, that can't be what they're doing because that'll be suspicious after a while. They end up finding a guy named Kurt Danson, this guy here now they're talking to this kurt danson what they decide to do

kurt and reg decide this is fucking crazy okay they find big ships okay in the harbor what they're gonna do is they get these metal fucking boxes and wetsuits and all this shit. They're going to load this box with drugs, coke, hash, whatever they can get in there, stuff it into this box. They have underwater welding equipment. They're going to go under and fucking attach this box to the underside of the ship, to the hull of the ship, so no one will know. And then on the other side, when the ship gets the hull of the ship uh-huh so no one will know and then on the other side

when the ship gets into where it's going someone will dive under and go pop it off and cut it off okay okay now that's their fucking plan that's ballsy yes uh while they're doing it it's reg and kurt are going to do this they get in the wetsuits they go out there police end up catching them in the act, but thinking they're tourists and thinking they swam out too far and got lost and they're tourists, right? But it does get reported to the other police. So for right

now, they're let go. The next day, January 5th, 1982, they're in room 30 and 31 in this hotel or 29 and 30. I don't remember. 29 and 30 it is kurt and reg okay kurt what they always do is they make sure to put the do not disturb sign on so no one comes in the room when they have like illegal shit scattered around kurt was so tired he forgot to

put the do not disturb on and he had sliced his hand open on the container the night before And he had sliced his hand open on the container the night before and didn't even bother to make it stop. So he's basically lying on the bed like he's dead with blood all over the sheets. Oh, God. And the room's a fucking mess because they came in. The sheets have, like, soil all over them and there's bloodstains everywhere. There are the maid walks into this. There's wet suits strewn about with sand all over him and shit. It's been a murder.

Yeah. It looks like a dead guy on the bed. Somebody trashed the room. So she freaks out. Oh, my God. Runs downstairs. The man in 29. He's dead.

He's dead. So plainclothes officers from the criminal investigation department are dispatched and they get there. department are dispatched and they get there and um basically they come in they talk to kurt and they sit him down and they said i want to know what you're doing here and where were you last night is what they asked kurt kurt says tries to you know go i don't know what you're talking about i'm just a tourist i like to dive i dive everywhere i go i love it it's fun that's where i you know it's great diving around here they say, we're going to give you one last chance to tell us what you were doing yesterday evening. Who dives in Bombay? Now, Kurt's an American, by the way.

He's like a California surfer guy who is in between school years and whose parents paid for him to go travel for a little bit before he graduated. He's a young guy. He's like a hey- surfer pro from california i just i heard bombay's got like the most bombay diving so that's why i came here it's like it's rad man you ever you ever been to la and you ever heard him say like that's bombay man that's why i'm here that's why i'm here man total fucking god idiot what's his name uh god damn it i don't know i don't know ah spicoli god yes there you go i almost ripped this microphone out and threw it because i'm like fucking god damn it so he's very spicoli yeah so they're like you know that doesn't add up man so finally he said i'll tell you uh fixing a box on the bottom of a boat yeah and they were like a box on the bottom of the boat what why would you what are you talking about see it wasn't broken

it was it was a real good box i just wanted to to put it there until it got to the end of the boat trip. You know how that is. It just floated around. So they said, why? And he said, to send it somewhere. And they said, send it where? He said, Australia. They said, so it was an Australian boat?

He said, yeah. They said, so you've sent a box to Australia? And he says, no, I didn't get to send the box to Australia. So no, I didn't. And then the guy says says this is fucking amazing they must get because this is the early 80s they must get some american tv over there because then he says quote you're making me angry mr danson and you won't like me when i'm angry he must have hulk over there they must have hulk reruns right it's the only way this is like an english phrase i get green around here

shit so um he ends up spilling the beans this kid he ends up giving it up so next thing they go back in and they talk to reg reg is up next and um reg and annie are in the next room and they search his room and they you know tear through all of his shit and they arrest them and they take them in and they whatever. Reg is held in a detention center for two weeks. And it's he was just telling himself, I can get through it. I can get through it. They carted Annie off to the women's facility, too. So who knows?

He didn't know what the hell to do. He was like, Jesus Christ, I can't help her. I can't help myself. This is fucked. He can't communicate with anybody. Most people there don't speak English. So he eventually came across a prisoner who spoke English. He thought that was pretty great.

He was like, holy shit, someone who speaks English here. The prison or the jail at this time, the holding facility he's in is described as a hellhole dark dank space that looks like the film set of a horror movie his roommates were a crowd whose credentials reigned from simpletons to the criminally insane one evening he counted over 40 of them sandwiched in a k like caged hens in a space no more than 20 by 30 square feet. Their communal room 40. Their communal room was like a dungeon, a filthy windowless place at the end of a row of four.

The stench of urine and feces oozed from the toilet, a dugout with fly ridden newspaper excrement and squatting men. That's how it's described in this book. So that's not great. He said that his first week, he said a couple guys were ruffling his hair because he had blonde hair. They would ruffle his hair, and he said he was used to that

because people would do that all the time, but some guy ended up ripping a clump out of it, a clump of his hair out. So Reg beat the living shit out of this guy. Yeah. Pummeled him and he said though he got big deep scratches and bites from the guy the guy scratched him and bit him but he pummeled him i guess so he said the guards didn't protect anybody they would beat people more than anything he said the best defense was just to act crazy and pretend you're crazy and have

people stay out of your fucking way. That's it. Now, Annie is released from the women's prison after serving only six months. Really? Only six months. They were able to communicate a couple of times because he would stand on the top of his building and he could yell to her. And then he got a letter from her after she'd left the jail. She reassured him that she'd met with his court-appointed lawyer, and they said they'll probably free you in a few months too.

She got money for bail. Everything's good. So he is supposed to be sentenced, and he could get a couple years in India once he gets out on bail. Instead, he escapes India, takes off, jumps bail in India once he gets out on bail. Instead, he escapes India. Takes off, jumps bail in India. So now he's on two different continents, want him in prison. So this isn't good. So he escapes from there.

He is next, he is next pops up publicly in Sri Lanka. Yeah. Okay, he is at. How'd he get down there? Bandaranaik Airport he's in in Sri Lanka. December 1st, 1984. He's traveling on a French passport under the name Patrick Claude Albert Ledoux. Not bad. Not too shabby there. be there problem is sri lankan customs officials find 41 packets of drugs including one kilogram of heroin hidden in a hidden in a cassette recorder in his possession it's his old trick

yeah it's his old trick he didn't even involve no so he is arrested in sri lanka for a kilo of heroin and that is like death sentence shit there, I'm sure. Well, he's found guilty in June 1987. He's there for three years before he gets a trial, too. So he's held there for two and a half years anyway. Found guilty on four counts of possessing heroin and one count of possessing hash. And the sentencing comes up and it's harsh there it's not the same you sir may fuck off death penalty yeah he got the

death penalty for that holy shit so he is now sentenced to death in a sri lankan prison this star got went way far from having some fun shipping myself to australia didn't it from it fits it ships to dirty to boy we're gonna kill you shit got dirty so there are some appeals processes here to this and during this appeal he does receive a reprieve oh and he is forced though uh so they're they will they will deport him and he will serve he'll go to australia because australia wants him they basically said if you never come back and you go to australia you can fuck off that's how it works if you ever come back here again we got a life sentence for you we're gonna kill you at the airport yeah right at the airport i don't care what your passport says so uh he gets back to

australia and now guess what he's wanted for his thing from years ago now right so now he's got to do that and he gets sentenced to you sir may fuck off five years in prison in australia that's a lot lighter sentence wow that's a lot different that's for his 1980 shenanigans there so he does about three years in prison and he stays quiet for a while you might imagine got killed in sri lanka he's had quite the life let's be realistic here shit man if i if you didn't know that you that we wouldn't do an entirely fake episode, you would imagine this story isn't real, correct? Yeah. Does this sound made up to you or what? It sounds made up, right?

He almost died. Whenever we do a made up story, like we did the Fast Eddie Rothman thing. By the way, I love how three people will get fucking vehemently angry with me. Angry. They're pissed. I fucking wasted 40 minutes. I was laughing. I thought it was real.

So you were laughing for 40 minutes. Yeah, sounds like a real waste of time. Get the fuck out of here. Shut up. It's so painful. It's so painful. Oh, God. It must be terrible, right?

And then you heard the rest of the story and it was true. Waste your time for 40 minutes. Holy Jesus. And all you could do was laugh during it oh my god oh no so i tell you what guess what every time you watch stand-up nothing they're saying is true nothing it's all made up would you be mad at 40 40 minutes in the guy said by the way everything i've told you for the last 40 minutes none of it's true would you go oh i'm fucking leaving right now if you would definitely never see comedy because i'm not paying my tab he lied to me he lied to me liar this is why you should have to pay for tickets after the show like airfare with jimmy wisman because this is bullshit. So anyway, five years there in a prison.

So 2011 comes along. 2011 comes along and he's got a daughter named Jane Margaret Spears. In 2011, she's 44 years old. She's 44. She, in 2011, is convicted on several counts of manufacturing a controlled drug and one count of manufacturing controlled drugs for sale. In Australia? In Australia.

Yeah. Holy shit. In South Australia here, she pleads guilty to manufacturing a controlled drug and making it for sale in 2009. The judge said that Spears let her partner and associates transform her housing trust home into a clandestine lab, which had the potential to make 1.2 kilos of methamphetamine worth between $200,000 and $600,000. She turned her apartment into a meth lab. Meth lab, yeah. Wow.

Virtually the entire premises has been taken over by this sophisticated and elaborate manufacturing process. And, yeah, she gets out on bail for this. While out on bail, she is caught making it again. While out on bail. She's got to make bail money, James. Yeah, that's the thing. Got to pay for that lawyer. So they talked to her.

She said much of her childhood was disrupted by her father's shenanigans and sports career. And she later became addicted to drugs after her father became involved in the smuggling trade for 10 years. So, you know, she said it was one of those. She is sentenced to, you young lady or ma'am, she's 44, may fuck off six years in jail for that. They're awfully kind there. It's not bad. And a three-year non-parole period. So she's got to do at least three years there.

So that's not you know not great i'd say for her now 2012 reg is arrested again in 2012 he's 71 fucking years old jesus christ red he had to go to port adelaide magistrate's court with his co-accused caitlin beth disney i don't know if she's one of those disneys but to be one of the disneys she's 54 to Port Adelaide Magistrates Court with his co-accused, Caitlin Beth Disney. I don't know if she's one of those Disneys. She's got to be one of the Disneys. She's 54. I assume his girlfriend.

They live together. They are charged with cultivating and trafficking a commercial quantity of cannabis and illegal possession of a revolver. And a gun. And a gun. You got to protect all that weed.

Yeah. You got to protect all that weed, man protect all that weed man what are you gonna do so him and miss disney here yeah are uh are in deep shit eventually they come up and the charges get dropped though on it a whole new world for him charges get dropped they aren't he's not going to jail for it that's incredible the problem was their main piece of evidence turned out to be the exculpatory piece of evidence because the slipper did not fit so if the glass slipper does not fit you must acquit that's the way it works that's what i'm saying you get it right now you see where i'm coming from yeah that's the problem so when that happens then what you move along you gotta move along

find the one that it fits you gotta fucking move along beats too fat that's it just keep swimming man it's pixar but whatever it's disney it is it is so there you go anyway charges are dropped so in 2014 a book was released out of the box the highs and lows of a champion smuggler and that's where a lot of the the box stuff came from there It was endorsed by Spears, and he told them all about it and told them everything that happened. Covers his details of his journey from England to Australia, as well as there's a lot more of his drug smuggling stuff in there, too. I just thought we've had enough of we're going to go here,

then we're going to go there, we're going to go there. How many times can we say that? He's not going to stop. No, no, no. He's 71. Now maybe he's just chilling with his weed, though. He's 81 today. He's 80.

He's still alive. Oh, my God. He's still alive, too. He's still out there. Reg, if you're out there, you're quite the character, bro. Stick to just smoking weed, chilling in your house, relaxing. I mean, honestly, we can't be having you get arrested more. Please.

You can't go in your 80s, man. Don't make assholes out of us, Reg, seriously. Because we're vouching for you right now. We're saying he's going to be cool. He's just going to kick back with his weed. He's not going to cause trouble, be a menace. I'm pulling for you. I hope your daughter and Megan both are doing very well.

Don't make a jerk off out of me, Reg, please. Holy fuck, he's nuts.'s nuts so either way that is reg uh spears and um not a lot of sports in that one really well that's what you consider smuggling a sport or or or coffin sitting that's a sport i guess that's what happens when when an olymp Olympic athlete is not the star and fucking hero of a country. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. They got to make money somehow.

Yeah. And it takes so much to become an Olympic athlete. You have to dedicate so many years of your life. You probably lose the string of any other thing you're doing because you don't have time to do it. You're so worried about your body and your training and all that kind of shit like and the time and investment you put in that if you don't if you don't put that into a career at that time shit man you're getting the workforce now there's people are 10 15 years beyond you especially back in the 60s yeah in the 60s you better come out and try to get in somewhere so

you can go up the ladder or else you're gonna to be shit out of luck. Getting the rat race in your 30s in the early 90s? That's too late for you. It's too late. You're fucked. So nowadays it really doesn't matter anymore because people live so goddamn long. Yeah. People are living way too long now maybe is the reason why.

You can get in the rat race now, Reg. Yeah, Reg, you're still good, bud. You can still do this. Get your javelin. Fuck it. Who knows? You're not even eligible for Social Security here yet. No.

Yeah. Here we're like, you can still work. Pick up a hammer, motherfucker. Who are you bullshitting? Stand in. No. Put this name tag on. Stand right in the inside of the doors and say, welcome to Walmart.

How hard is that, motherfucker? You're fine. Watch out. Don't give me this I've been working for 76 years bullshit get out there you lazy bums we have lazy elderly in this country that's what a lazy 85 90 they want to sit back and relax for a while and stop working what do you think that you just get to fucking relax now you haven't even had a hip surgery yet. All that food you eat is free? All that medicine you take every day, you think that's free?

It's your ass out there, grandpa. You're turning on society. Jesus Christ. Want a fucking handout? I'm 85. I can't work anymore. Yeah, you can. Get out there.

You can get out there. At least get yourself a warehouse job. You can throw some boxes around. Obviously, this is... Someone will think we're serious if we're on Sailor. We're not. That's the fucked up part. Someone's going to go, you know, that's messed up, guys.

That is ageist. That's not cool. That's not cool, man. I think my grandmother should be able to relax in her 80s. So anyway, it's fine. So there you go. I think 60 is way too old to be working. To me, yes.

That seems, I'm tired now. I'm nowhere near 60. So I can't imagine. It's got to be rough. So either way, that is Crime and Sports, Reg Spears. That's wild stuff. If you like that show, tell the world about it. Get on whatever app you're listening on.

Give us five stars and God damn it, say something nice. It helps drive us up the charts. Or actually for Crime and Sports, don't even bother because it doesn't really matter anymore because we're almost done with it. But do it for Small Town Murder. That helps us out a lot. Do all of that. Head over to our social media at crime and sports on twitter and facebook at small town murder on instagram and you will want to get on there because you're going to receive

the you're going to see all the live show stuff coming up for 2023 uh there we have all the live show dates right here very quickly before we do that though just want to give the patreon patreon.com slash crime and sports it's where you get all the bonus stuff here. Anybody $5 a month or above a cup of coffee will buy you all sorts of content. You get like 150 back episodes of bonus stuff that you can binge. And also every other week you're going to get two brand new episodes every damn time. One crime and sports, one small town murder. This week we are going to go through really strange and hard to explain,

but us plus newspapers equals funny, okay? And especially us plus old-timey and newspapers equals funny. We're going to go through these newspapers from, like, the turn of the century, meaning the 1800s into the 1900s, and we are going to find some weird shit, these strange medical ads that make these outrageous claims that have been debunked for 115 years now. We'll talk about all those weird sports headlines. It's so much fun.

There's some weird shit. If you know one of the episodes, a few episodes back, we couldn't breathe laughing at these. They were so fucking funny. So check that out. Then for Small Town Murder, it's back again. Holy shit. The season is over, and we're going to talk about it. Love after lockup.

Yes. Love after lockup. I could not be happier for that. I'm jacked, psyched, excited to talk about that. What a season. Wow, these might be some of the biggest rubes

I've ever seen in this season. I think, what's his name? Chad. Chaz or Chaz? Chaz, Chaz Chad Chaz Chaz Chaz Chaz may be the biggest rube No Deontay is up there too

Those two I would love to see Him and Deontay Get together And just argue about Who's the bigger rube Because it would be hilarious Deontay knows

Because they're both Fucking idiots So Either way Do that that is uh patreon.com slash crime and sports chances girl for fiance that girl's dumb as shit too yeah oh she she looks you can see we'll talk about it on the patreon she's one of the stupidest looking people i've ever seen and then she opens her mouth and you're like, God damn, she talks dumber than she looks. This is crazy.

And then people that defend on her. He seems like I cannot wait for you to leave the house so I can molest your kids. That's the vibe I get off of him, allegedly. And spend all your money. And spend your money and be a creep. It's creepy shit. So we'll talk about all that at patreon.com slash crime and sports. And we'll also get your shout out, which you'll get here in just a moment after we read the live show dates.

We cannot wait. These are for small town murder, by the way. So come see us at a live show. By the way, we've said this before, but we don't say it all the time. Our live shows are not like a lecture. They're not like everybody sits there and does. Oh, haha. Or, you know, we just tell you a story.

We have pictures that we put up and it is a comedy fucking show. Like everybody sits there and does, oh, ha ha, or we just tell you a story. We have pictures that we put up, and it is a comedy fucking show. It's as many laughs as a stand-up show. We structure it a little bit different, so it's concentrating on the comedy, and we bring it fucking hard. So do that shit. Do yourself a favor and come see us. Let's see the dates here. February the 10th, we are in Cleveland. Oh, boy.

At the Agora there. Jesus. 1,106 seats we got to sell in Cleveland. I don't know how the fuck we're going to do that. Bring it, Parker. Come down, Buffalo. Buffalo's been asking us to come there forever. We asked about it.

We asked the people that book our shit, and they went, you're not going to sell any tickets in Buffalo. Go to Cleveland. Maybe they'll come there. I said, okay, fine uh february 11th the next night we were in st lewis at the pageant which is a nice theater that'll be fun there uh march 23rd and 24th thursday and friday night we're in seattle back at the neptune they were nice to us last time and then saturday the next night in march 25th in Portland, two shows at Revolution Hall there that night. Boy, that's going to be nuts.

That'll be crazy. Friday, May 5th in Detroit, we're at the Masonic. That's another big venue there. Saturday, May 6th in Pittsburgh, we're at the Carnegie Music Hall, which is a beautiful venue. Love that place last year. Saturday, July 15th, we are in taking June off. Sorry, that's kids' times there. We spend time with our kids in June. So Saturday, July 15th, we are in San Diego at the Observatory.

That'll be a fun one there. Can't wait for that. Summertime in San Diego. Oh, baby. Friday, the 28th of July, we are in Salt Lake City at the Depot, which we were at last time. That was a great venue. We had a blast there. Saturday, July 29th, we're in Denver. Ah, that'll be beautiful. Summer Denver. Nice shit at the Newman Center. Friday, August 11th, we're in Minneapolis back at the Pantages. We love

it there. Saturday, August 12th, we're in Chicago. Oh, baby. Chicago and Milwaukee in August. You can't beat, or Chicago and Milwaukee in August. You can't beat. Or Chicago and Minneapolis in August. You can't beat it. They're so nice. We can't wait.

That's at the Auditorium Theater, which is a beautiful theater that looks like there should be like a world famous symphony playing there. It's wild. Let's muck it up with dick jokes and murder stories. Let's fuck it all up. It's a huge venue. So, Chicago, come hard for us, guys. We love you. Thank you.

That's right. I love you. Thank you. That's right. I said it. Come hard. Right in our faces. I don't give a shit. If it sells the place out, go for it. That thing got me right in the ball back. I know it did.

That's why I said it. That's why I looked at you while I said it. Real deep. Real deep. September the 8th, we're in Atlanta at the the tabernacle a little bigger venue there than we've been uh last couple years and saturday september 9th we are in charlotte at the night which is part of the festival i believe the queen city festival it's it's a lot of fun they're nice people there friday october 5th we are in philly at the fillmore october the 7th we are in washington

dc at the Howard. You might have noticed a few that we definitely are going to be at that are missing. That's just because they're being finalized right now, so we don't have exact dates. New York, Boston, and New York. We're going to go a little north of the city like Westchester so people can come in from Connecticut and other places and not have to worry about parking because that's a real bitch. So New York, Boston, Milwaukee, and Phoenix are four that I know are going to be coming up. So we will be doing that definitely. And we are so excited for those shows.

Cannot wait for them, honestly. Can't wait to come see us at a live show. We do make it worth it. We promise you that. I do want to hear now, though, now that we've done all this, I want to hear the names of the people that would work very hard to build us a box, to ship us across the world, and make sure we don't get crushed into little tiny pieces. Jimmy, hit me with that list. This week's executive producers are Diane Ringle, Casey Shatters, Marilyn Branfast. James, that's your new Italian grandma, if you didn't know that.

She makes a wonderful sauce and uh she she swears and stuff so she's wonderful that's cool apple knife i hope packing a knife i imagine she is and also randy uh polanich polanich polanich i'm going thank you polanic thank you all so much for everything you do truly absolutely the world to us other producers this week are buster hyman reverend yeah you son of a bitch gary you said that i didn't get it until right when i read it really that's amazing reverend seymour pearl mutter i don't know what that one means but sure it's something gross what's a pearl mutter sure it has to do with jizz or some jizz-related subject. All right.

Steve Gaines of Leonard Skinner, who would have been the next Clapton if not for a plane crash, I'm told. Steve Schnell, somebody tase me. Alexis Erlbeck, my pee-pants ex-girlfriend. Janice Hill, Kieran Laidlaw in South Africa. Alyssa and Brett, Randy. Nope, that's Rachel Branley. I love you. Adam Wyatt, Van Sharpenseel, Lene Morgan, Madison Smoot, Tammy Valachi, Phillip with no last name, Helen Murphy, St. Louis Saint, I suppose, STL, Kaylin Bond, Haley Kosano, Mandy Salas,

Haley Kosano, Mandy Salas, Shell Loro Weedy, Sarah Holtz, Rain Ramsire, Liz Latterhose, Susie with no last name, Jeremy Fuseli, Jackson McMullen, Kelly Waters, Mike Shadina, Peyton French, Andres, Andres, And, Lasco, Six, Salazar. Bree would know last name. Moan Spot, Samantha would know last name. Heather Wehab-Mouch, Greg Macri, Tanya Harden, not Harding, Ashley Brenham, Rebecca Benai, Arnold Thompson, JS, Cody Board, Matthew Johns, Martin Goyla, Ghiola, Rebecca M., Credius, Noah Borer, Zach Valdez, Scott with no last name, Haley Collins, the one and only Jody Lynn, Nathan Mezzo, Caleb Breitenbach, Gary White, Larissa Chidoche, Scary Malice, Jada Larson, Charlie Sims, Shadosh, Scary Malice, Jada Larson, Charlie Sims, Patricia Callahan, Jonathan Barajas,

Deborah Chamness, Hillary F., Anthony West, Elizabeth Greil, Callie Grant, Zach Donahue, Chris Graham, Derek Austin, Felicia Palmer, Arsenic Katniff, that's not nice, James Lee, Billy Duncan, William Sutton, Zach with no last name, Allie Parker, Patrick D., oh, Calliel Nichols, Josh A.L., Sky Olsicinski, Michaela Means, Elizabeth Bell, Rizali, Mark Quinn Baker, Allison Kosar, oh, Bernie's daughter, Christy Bruggen, Sarah Taylor, Erin Ailes, Sarah Ramirez, Kristen Fowler, Gabrielle Kalvisbert, Amanda S., Rachel Fowler, Ryan Simpson, Ashley Davis, Ali, Crystal Sims, Jeff Goss, Michael Gebert, Chance Smith, Rebecca with no last name, Amber Salas, Becky Thompson. Michelle McKenzie. Lindsey Dinkla. Vicky Schluenberger. Jim Behrens. Roll Tide, damn it.

Elaine Shaben. Jeffrey Halk. Caden Stubblefield. Lindsey Miller. Jennifer Moffitt. Moffitt. Hey. Nicole Cooper.

Matt Spruill. Spruill. Mary Cluess. Tyler Perry. probably not. Linda, that would be amazing. He's got five to spare. I would lose it. He's got five bucks to spare.

Why would I lose it? I've never seen one of those movies. It's just because I know his name. Not a Tyler Perry fan, but the fact that not anything against him. Just be amazing. Yeah. Linda Salvatore, Kathy Nordstrom, Craig Hoffman, Kayla Stewart, Kay Lynn Stewart, Andrea Fowler, Ricardo Vander Nat, David Dahl, Ryan Callison, Drayton Gagliano, Heather Price, Leslie Ruby,

Entity Ginja, Rhonda Williams, Nick Nagorny, Joey Duffield. Cassandra Majlika. What? That's not a real word. Jackie Kirby. I bet I typed that wrong. Aida Blackhawk. Or it could just be like Petra Gallo in a mess. Probably.

Lauren Ant. Beth Clements. Dustin Taguato. Michelle Smith. Kevin Rosos. Jesse Giamattino, Dan Ujere, Laurel Kalinchik, Connie Hanson, Tyler Doreen, William Brown, Eric Bruggen, Molly with no last name, Bobby Tory Lane. Christy with no last name. Janet Beck. Amber Ramke. Kara with no last name.

Dustin Frawley. Julia with no last name. Ted Espel. Total Capacity. Cooper Marion. Austin with no last name. King Kunta. That feels weird.

Zach with no last name. Adam Smith. Daniel Wyman. Danielle Wyman. Brian Crawford. Brittany Wade. Joey Hoffman. Hayden Bork.

Sonia Glennon. Erica Marling, Sue Crowley, Nikki Anstein, Matthew Paust, Andrea Perez, Courtney Parsons, Rick Thompson, Dark Energy, Brian Leslie, Gavin KF, Richard Hicks, Cammie DeLapp, Heroin Hawk of West Virginia Goldie Rose Bates Andrew Scalise Mark Grant Carlito Herman, Colton with no last name Jessica Black, Brittany Sulkowski Amanda McGee, Lulu Queenie Jamie DeAngelis

Chris O'Shea, MJ Hep Kara Cowling Christopher H, Lindsay Sheehan Fr Framham and the Jam Band. Have a happy Super Soft birthday, Kendra. Garrett Schnell, Maggie79, Florida Man Tactical, Kalina Lacey, Haley Clement, Graham Cunningham, Sophie Gorey, Jacqueline Kohler, Kyle Rose, Rob Daniel, Melody Turnbrough, Sally Barnum, Lauren Nasreen, Cal Lohr, Dominique Ross, Matt Bowie, Connor Ramsey, Aaron Zafer, Nikki Mahaney, Austin Parker, M-S-W-Z, Jeff Rothbun, Melissa Muncy, Richard Collins, Caleb Filson. Yeah, I almost did. I apologize, Melissa.

Angela Thompson, Tammy Van Loon, Caleb Filson. I said that. Stephanie Langewies. No way. Rar, with no last name. Michelle Moisel, Dakota Jones, Marla, Maria, Maria, Maria Chow, Stephanie Hankel, Brittany and Tyler Randles, Shannon Sproul, I think, Lauren S. jones marla maria maria yep maria chow uh stephanie hankle britney and tyler randles shannon sproll i think uh lauren s scott adams louise marshall scott martin jennifer marie winner bill nope ben ben minnick my eyes are going blurry ride clevenger read right

read or ride clevenger becky riggs Zach Sletto, Drew, Drew Brittner. Fucking what is that? Christopher Gransberry, my eyes sting. Rebecca Dayrep and all of our patrons, thank you for making my eyes sting. Thank you so much, everybody, from the bottom of our hearts. We appreciate the shit out of all that you do for us and we can't express it enough to you so just thank you thank you and we will try to express it with content

and shit that you enjoy and try to make you laugh and that's the way you'll do it if you want to follow us on social media very easy to do that head over to shut up and give me murder.com the links are there to everything we just told you about do it right there you can get your patreon your social media your tickets tickets, all one stop.

There we go. Try not to smuggle anything from, I don't know. Don't smuggle things in Bombay, let's just say. That seems like a bad idea. We just gave them the very dated blueprint of how to do it. They can't do it that way anymore. Don't do it that way. Move boxes don't exist.

Move on. Yeah, they'll be like, why do you have a tape recorder, sir? Oh, I keep it with me. What about, oh, fuck that. So anyway, live from the Crime and Sports studios, we will see you next week. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.