Crime in Sports - #42 - All Of The Intent, None Of The Remorse - The Heartlessness of Russell Erxleben

Episode Date: November 15, 2016

This week, we check out a tale of lies, manipulation, and woe that leads a man from being a first round NFL draft pick, to being a regular resident of federal prison, leaving behind a mountain of victims, and shattered lives. His ego is huge, his crimes are monumental. It's a story that keeps taking weirder, and weirder turns, and eventually involves Hitler, ex-US Supreme Court Nominee Harriet Miers, a famous piece of art, and even a US president. So much failure. So much destruction. So much fun!! Puff up your ego, miss a game winning field goal, and ruin the lives of hundreds with Russell Erxleben!! Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman New episodes every Tuesday!!Please subscribe, rate, and review!Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Head to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Crime in Sports!For merchandise: crimeinsports.threadless.comCheck out James and Jimmie's other show: Small Town Murder Follow us on social media!Facebook: facebook.com/crimeinsportsInstagram: instagram.com/smalltownmurderTwitter: twitter.com/MurderSmall Contact the show: [e-mail] on Patreon: patreon.com/crimeinsportsPayPal: paypal.me/crimeinsports See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Discover all the best in audiobooks, podcasts, and originals featuring authentic Canadian voices and celebrity talent like Brendan Fraser and Luke Kirby's latest sci-fi adventure, The Downloaded. A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. Queen of the courtroom is back. How did I know that? I have crystal ball in my head. New cases. Leave her alone. So, uh... This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy.

It's streaming. You can say anything. It's an all-new season. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Crime and Sports. Yay! Oh, yay, oh, yay. My name is James Petrigra gallo i'm here

with my co-host i'm jimmy wissman thank you guys so much for joining us again this week for our 42nd episode that's crazy it feels yeah that feels so by very fast we are 10 weeks shy of one year that's amazing isn't it 10 weeks shy of one year i love it thank you guys for sticking with us the ones who've been there since the beginning or joined us whenever. New listeners, welcome aboard. Thanks for joining us this week. New listeners, new fucking sponsors. New everybody. New sponsor for you this week. This is gorgeous. We love it. We're having a good

time here. We're enjoying it. I really hope you enjoyed last week's episode. Obviously. I'm so glad we covered him. Butler's a fucking nightmare. I mean, I don't even know what to say. It's a guy. How does that not make you feel better about your own life, though?

Oh, it makes you feel better about your own life in multiple ways. Even if you didn't make it in professional sports anywhere, you're not a piece of shit. That's the thing. You're not that much of a piece of shit. I haven't beat a true friend to death with a hammer recently for no reason at all. Which is ironically your own nickname that's amazing that's the thing did he do that on purpose i that's what we have to wonder i think he did in a home there are plenty of blunt objects just looking around right now in this room in

the studio it's not even in a living room or anything there's a cricket bat i could cave your head in with that i have a computer. I could do some damage with that probably. There's many heavy objects. I could just hit you with the desktop I have down here. My laptop would get you good. Anything. Fucking anything. Anything, yeah.

There's a recording equipment I could beat you with. There's a microphone. There's literally all kinds of shit. Tons of things. And if you're in a home, just a million things to beat someone with. There's knives too. That's the other thing. He didn't even take something that would do it do it fast i feel like he chose the hammer i feel

like he was like let me grab this knife hold on a minute wait now if you want to that's where i think he wanted to get caught yeah because if you wanted to you know push this push suspicion away from you don't use the one weapon that's your goddamn nickname publicly. He opened up that junk drawer that everybody's got, and there sitting, glistening in that fluorescent light of the kitchen was the hammer, and he goes, no fucking way. How perfect is this?

Do you think maybe he thought that they'll never believe that I would be that stupid to use the hammer since I'm the hammer? He did take the car and drive it to exactly where he was waiting. That's true. Yeah, he's just an idiot, maybe. He's just dumb as shit. He's just dumb. All right.

Crime and sports verdict. James Butler's an idiot. He's fucking dumb. Moving on. Moving on to this week's pile of human dumpster fire. This week's. My God, this guy. Jesus Christ, Jimmy. This week's, my God, this guy. Jesus Christ, Jimmy.

This guy here. I mean, I looked, I had never heard of this guy, first of all. Never heard of him. He's an NFL player. And like, it's odd that, I probably know my NFL history pretty well. I'm like, who the hell is this guy? And I'm looking into it and I'm like, what a horrible human being this guy is. He's a complete and utter piece of shit.

He's right up our alley. He is Arch Schliester and Lenny Dykstra. They get together and have like a mutant offspring that then sort of kind of has like a Willie Mays Aikens fatalism without the crack. We'll say that. No dirt floor, but I feel like he's got that kind of just nothing good can happen type of thing,

and he does it to himself every time. Just all on the horizon is horse shit. It's horse shit. This is alleged bullshit all the way through, and it's real bullshit, too. I can't wait. Wow. Our subject tonight is Russell...

I've got to pronounce this right because it's a terrible, terrible last name. Jesus. There's a fucking X in it. Russell Erxleben. Erxleben. Erxleben? Erxleben. Erxleben.

Erxleben. There you go. That's how you call it. Russell Erxleben. I got it. Russell Alan Erxleben. Is this the first one with an X? First guy with an X.

Yeah, it's a terrible name. Can we just call him Russell? We're going to call him Russell the entire time. I refuse to pronounce that bullshit. There's four consonants in a row, guys. That's a lot. Even the shawarma man would be like, that's one too many.

You know what I mean? That's too many. That's too many consonants for me. I don't know. So he's born January 13, 1957 in Seguin, Texas. He's a small-town Texas guy. We call him Sequin, Texas. We'll call him Sequin, Texas.

We'll call him Russell Erxleben from Sequin, Texas. He's a big kid for a kicker. He turned out to be a kicker. And he's a Janikowski type in more than one way. He's out to be a kicker. And he's like, he's a Janikowski type in more than one way. He's like a Sebastian Janikowski, 6'3", 225 pound kicker. Holy shit.

Big cat. Yeah, he's a big dude. And he's a straight on kicker. Oh. Nowadays, everybody kicks soccer style. You come out at sideways, kick with your toe. Everybody's seen in football

how field goal kickers kick. He kicks like that dude that kicked the longest one. Yes. With the fucking square toe. Exactly. That's exactly how he kicks. And it's a very... What was that guy's name? I forget.

Dempsey. Dempsey. Dempsey. The Saints' Tom Dempsey. This guy ends up... He's got some similarities to Dempsey in more than one way here. In high school, he was actually... He's not a junior, by the way.

I'm going to say that. That's great. That's terrific because his father's name is Elroy, which I find... Elroy Erlixpin. Erx Laban. Elroy Erx Laban. say that that's great that's terrific because his father's name is elroy which i find elroy erlickson erksleben el elroy erksleben that's fucked from seaguin texas that's lucky they named him something else russell's a little bit better yeah in high school he was actually the star quarterback and kicker also he was a good quarterback a big kid good arm

apparently and also too he's in a small town. He's probably the most athletic guy in the town, basically, is how it works. I'm sure they had no black people there either. It's a small town in Texas in the 60s. Nobody that's going to jump any higher or run any faster, so he's going to do it. He's recruited heavily everywhere as a kicker. He's one of the top kickers, kicking prospects in the entire nation. Really? Absolutely.

He kicks booming field goals, and he's a great punter. He had it all on the horizon. Everything was laid out for him. Yeah, he chooses University of Texas at Austin. So, I mean, that's a football powerhouse, the Longhorns. And plus, for a Texas kid, what more of a dream is that than you're going to play for the University of Texas? I mean, I guess if you're an A&M fan or a Baylor fan.

Jesus Baylor this week, too. But more Baylor. Everybody go back. So much bad news. Listen to Carlton Dotson. Carlton Dotson, How Many Huge Corpses Are Found in Texas.

I think it's episode 12. Check that out and you'll get the beginning of the Baylor saga and then follow it online. We'll do a full-on Baylor episode one day because it's just unfolding.

Just Baylor. Just Baylor. Just Baylor. That would be so fun. It would be. We're going to do that. Because there's too much not to. You can't even pick a guy. It's an institution to go after.

But he chooses University of Texas, this guy. Probably a big University of Texas fan growing up, that sort of thing. Goes there. Like I said, what a dream for this kid. He's living the life. He's got the bull on his fucking helmet. Oh, yeah. It's beautiful.

He's got the longhorn on the helmet, doing well. Freshman year, doesn't play freshman year. He's like a red shirt, I think, which is common. They just sit him down the freshman year. He's a young kid. He actually was pissed off because he wanted to play quarterback. And they're like, you're a kicker. Yeah. Listen, fat fuck. You're a kicker. You can't get out of your own way you're not you're not a quarterback in college you're quarterback in sequin texas as we're gonna call

it with population 241 you know where the janitor plays left tackle on the football team minority population zero yeah no this is the real college you have to play kicker and it's weird in college too like one of the coaches right away saw one of the special teams guys was there. And he was like, who's that kid over there? And he said, that one's all yours, and kind of waved him off. And he said, why? And he just walked away waving him off. And he found out that was Erkselaben.

And it's because he's got lots of talent. He kicks like a badass. But he's not into stretching or practicing, really. He's not lots of talent. He kicks like a badass. But he's not into stretching or practicing, really. He's not actually into football. He's not really into stretching, practicing, doing much outside of. Yeah, that's why he's like Janikowski. He just wants to get a beer and go in there and boot a field goal and go sit down. Show up, win the game, and go home.

That's it. So he has that sort of attitude a lot where kind of coaches, but then they love him, the coaches, because he can come in and kick a 60-yard field goal. They're like, oh, my God, who can do that? It's amazing. So, yeah. And as a matter of fact, in his junior year, October 1, 1977,

Texas versus Rice, which is another Texas school, Rice University. It's a rivalry in state. Texas, not much of a rivalry here. You see why he went to Texas rather than one of the smaller schools because Texas beat the holy shit out of Rice 72-15 that day. Oh, my God. 72-15. Jesus.

That is a whooping. And he's dropping kicks every other play. Well, and in this game, and he's kicking and punting too. Wow. every other play well and in in this game and he's kicking and punting too and in this game he sets a division 1a record by kicking a 67 yard field goal holy shit 67 yards is long nobody's even done that in the nfl no that's a long that's a huge goddamn field goal that's big time i mean but there's a thing here why also from 1965 to 1988 the NCAA has changed their kicking rules yeah we're going to talk about NCAA kicking rules for a minute it's important okay it's interesting they changed they used to allow when he kicked it it was off a two inch tee they used to allow a tee they used to

allow one inch tee then a two inch tee till 1988 they allowed a two inch tee to kick field goals off of field goals yeah a guy would it, and you could have a tee. That's unbelievable. This was kicked off a 2-inch tee, but still the accuracy, it's pretty damn decent. Still got to put it there. And no one else was doing it. And you've got to get it 67 fucking yards. And no one else was doing it.

It was still a record, so it's not like it was nothing. But, I mean, compared to off the ground, in 88 they switched it to how it is now, off the ground. So that's different. No tee allowed. With this game, he was nicknamed, he earned a nickname of Thunderfoot, which is an apt but shit nickname. And Thunderthighs, because of the big fat fuck. Yeah, apt but kind of shitty, lazy nickname.

He's, you know. I mean, in college, though, he was just, as far as kickers go, by the time he finishes college, he had 11 field goals over 50 yards, which is huge in three years. Unbelievable. And they only played 11 games a year back then, and three over 60 yards. My God. Including a 64-yarder and a 67-yarder.

14 field goals over 50 yards. And three, yeah. And they're all good. And two's a, that's, I mean, he might have missed a bunch of them, too, but he hit some also. But that's incredible. So, obviously, you a, that's, I mean, he might have missed a bunch of them, too, but he hit some also. But that's incredible. So, obviously, you know, everybody's looking at this guy in the NFL. Kickers are hard to come by. A good kicker's hard to come by.

And there's a reason why when a team gets a good kicker, like a Morton Anderson or somebody like that, they hang on to him for 20 goddamn years. Or even like a Vinatieri, he can be 46 years old and still have a job. Jason Elam. Yeah. On any of these guys, he'll stick around forever. They can kick to their mid-forties if they can keep putting it through the uprights. And you're not allowed to hit them.

You're not allowed to hit them. They stay healthy. They look like science teachers, half of them. They don't bed with the team. They don't do anything with the team. They just show up. They hang out with the punter. They just show up in their little limo. They bounce balls and they do weird shit where they do weird kicking exercises.

They play hacky sack with the football. It's super fucking weird. It's bizarre. They're a weird culture kickers when you see them. They just hang out to themselves just doing weird. And the coaches don't even really deal with them. They're just like, keep kicking the ball that way. And then when they come off the field, they high five them or pat them on the ass and then they go their own way.

Either one. Or cut them for missing it. Or cut them for beating their wife. Or you can do that. Which I'm sure we'll get to him someday also. They're one. They're cut them for missing it. Or cut them for beating their wife. Yeah. Or you can do that. Yeah. Which I'm sure we'll get to him someday also. But 1979, the Senior Bowl comes around. That was after his senior season, obviously.

The Senior Bowl is, for those of you who don't know what the Senior Bowl is, it's basically like, in comedy, it would be like a showcase for industry. It'd be like you're doing like a, it's like, it's the north and the south. They still play the game and it's coached by NFL staffs. Oh, wow.

They come in and coach the game. It's not coached by college staffs and it's, they take the top players that are, you know, supposed to be drafted and want to go to the

next level or ready to go to the next level. They bring in NFL staffs and coach them so they can get a look at these guys and you can get kind of an inside scouting report.

Yeah, and they still do it and it's a big deal. A lot of guys pick Dak Prescott of the Cowboys right now. The reason why the Cowboys have him is because they coached him

in the senior bowl and they just liked him. And in college his stats weren't impressive. It's like a scrimmage for the combine. Nobody else looked at it. It's real game.

It's real game. And you get to see how the guy practices all week also. That's the thing. And they saw what he was all about. And they put him on the board like, if this guy's available late, let's grab him. But they didn't think twice about him. And now he's been doing well for them. So that's the type of deal with this is here.

Russell plays for the South team, obviously, in Texas. And they are coached by New Orleans Saints head coach Dick Nolan. And Dick Nolan had coached San Francisco for like eight years before that got him to the NFC Championship game a couple of times. So he was a pretty good coach. The Saints were a train wreck from day one from 69 or 68 from their inception. They were terrible.

So they needed something. They're so bad they had to have a long fucking kicker with Dempsey. With Dempsey. That's exactly right. That was their first one. And now here, and Nolan was going in and it was second year as Saints coach here. And they give him say in the draft.

Nowadays, it's general manager drafts. The coach doesn't say shit about it. That's it. The owner and the general manager. The coach can suggest something, but they don't really care what he has to say. They're going to get the guys they want to get. Right.

Back then, the coach controlled the draft a lot of the times. A lot of the times, unless it was a real powerful owner or something, the coach controlled the draft. Is that like when Madden was coaching? Yeah, the 70s. He was the drafter? Yeah, a lot of times. I don't know.

Al Davis was probably the drafter. You're probably right. He was their general manager. He was in control of fucking everything. Yeah, and he prided himself on player personnel. He started as a GM, so I would imagine that would be a big deal for him. But they gave Nolan control here of the draft, on player personnel. He started as a GM, so I would imagine that would be a big deal for him. But they gave Nolan control here of the draft,

and it's probably not a great idea to give Nolan control because basically, Nolan fell in love with Russell during the senior bowl. Really? Because he was watching him boot these 65-yard field goals

in practice, and he's like, Jesus Christ, nobody on my team's doing that. Please don't pay attention to this fucker's practice and how he prepares. Kick don't they don't care with kickers they're just like hey i don't care what he does when he steps out there he kicks that thing i don't have anyone that can do that but there's three seconds left and we need 54 yard field goal to win the game i'd like to have this guy yes sir the south wins this game 41 21 by the way in case anybody gives a shit shit. So Nolan's in charge of the draft.

Now, Vice President of Saints player personnel, Harry Hulmes, disagreed with drafting Russell with a high pick. He wanted to see if we could get him in the second round or something like that, if you love him that much. But Nolan, not deterred. Not deterred. He says, no, I don't want to miss out on him I'm picking him

number 11 overall holy shit that is batshit for a kicker yeah insanity it was the second highest

drafted kicker ever would you ever pick a kicker that high in your fucking fantasy draft no

he's the second highest drafted kicker unbelievable in the history of the league in the history in the history

of the league who was picked higher? I think it was Ray Guy, I think. The Raiders picked a bunch of Ray Guy. Who's, I think, a Hall of Famer. So that was a great pick, actually. But we'll see how this works out. The wait is over.

So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Bing! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything.

I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her. A-long. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone. Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her?

Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award-winning series returns how do I know that have crystal ball in my head, it's an all new season.

It's streaming you can say anything. Judy justice only on free. Taylor Swift is soaring high her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster.

Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show, Business Wars. We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time. And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. And now back to the show. That's not quite so great. Who was picked after him that year? We're going to get to that. Also in the draft

before him, just as kind of an interesting draft, you had Phil Simms at number seven, the Giants' ex-Giants, and the current announcer for football. I fucking hate his announcing because he hates the Broncos. One of my favorite players of all time, Otis Anderson, the old running back for the Cardinals and Giants. Fucking O.J. Anderson.

Stop calling himself O.J. So let's stick to the Otis. Let's stick with that bullshit Otis. I don't know if I want to be a running back named O.J. right now. I think I'm going to go with Otis. I hate the name Otis, but there's only one name worse. If you guys Google right now Otis Anderson, a picture of him, try to find a picture of him on the Giants.

Those are his later years. Now, you will look at that picture, and you will think he's approximately 48 years old. He's like 31. He looks 48, and he looks like he just came in from, basically looks like he's been working double shifts in a factory one of those factories like when you think of like the like a steel factory from the 50s where he's got just got a big mallet just beating shit and there's sparks flying

everywhere double shift for fucking 35 years that's what he looks like that's awesome you just pulled him off after a double shift and said hey otis here's a picture snap and he was like huh and you superimposed a uniform on him hilarious that's what it looks like but he was actually a tremendous running back in the mvp of super bowl was it 20 when he they beat the bills in 1990 1990 season they beat the bills super bowl 25 maybe 20 in tampa i don't remember it doesn't fucking matter but Otis Anderson is hilarious look him up also Dan Hampton

the famous Hall of Fame Bears defensive tackle as well the 85 Bears after him number 13 you could have had

Hall of Fame tight end Kellen Winslow get the fuck out of here absolutely from the Chargers one of the greatest tight ends in the history

of the league you could have had him two picks later unbelievable and they had back then the Saints quarterback which was Archie Manning Peyton and Eli's father Chargers, one of the greatest tight ends in the history of the league. You could have had him two picks later. Unbelievable. And they had, back then, the Saints quarterback, which was Archie Manning, Peyton and Eli's father, who was a good quarterback on a horrible team. Right.

That team was a goddamn disaster. Fucking mess all around. He really could have used a great tight end that could go over the middle. So sad. But no. Instead, here's a kicker for you. Right. Awful. So also, too, I got to just, this name was amazing, looking over the middle. So sad. But no, instead, here's a kicker for you. Right. Awful. So also, too, I got to just, this name was amazing,

looking over their draft. Saints also drafted a guy named Harlan Hucklebee in round five. Yeesh. Running back from Michigan. Harlan Hucklebee. That man didn't commit crimes? No. Played for about six seasons in the league.

Old Harlan Hucklebee. Unbelievable. Seemed to go out without a shot fired. It's all good. Not too bad. Like the Cold War. May 4th, 1979. It's the day after the draft.

There's an article about, it's in a New England newspaper, a Boston area newspaper, about how the Patriots are super disappointed that the Saints picked Russell because they were really wanted. The Patriots really wanted him.

They were like, those son of a bitches jumped us. We didn't get him. They ruined our draft. They weren't going to take of a bitches jumped us. We didn't get him. They ruined our draft. They weren't going to take him with the number 11 pick, I'm sure, but they maybe would have taken him with a second rounder like a normal person. Russell gets a crazy contract for a kicker, too. I don't know his base salary, but it doesn't matter because this is 1979, mind you. Way different money structure. got a three hundred thousand dollar bonus wow with two hundred seventy five thousand of it up front which is nuts because back then they used to pay

like otis anderson i know his bonus was two hundred fifty thousand dollars to be paid over 25 years as a running back that's somebody that fucking mattered every game and was a badass yeah it was a great running back it was earning that This guy here, he gets this with the help of a shady agent named Mike Trope. This guy, he's accused of just epic tales of scumbaggery, this guy.

I'm stealing from threatening to have Otis Anderson arrested because he owed him $200 that he gave him up front for, you know, an agent just like

for a trip to California. So gross. Insane. He's the ultimate silver-haired middle-aged white man, this guy. And he would go in and undercut, too. He wasn't

a full-service agency. All he would do was negotiate contracts. He didn't do investments. He didn't do savings. He didn't do any of the financial shit that most of the agents do. The all-in-one one-stop shop is not here. No. Most of the agents charge 7%. They do everything. This guy charges 3.5%

and just negotiates contracts, and he's a killer on bonuses. Unbelievable. He gets big bonuses, so he's signing players left and fucking right, and he's just a complete scumbag. So things are going well, though. He's just got a big bonus. He's drafted first-round draft pick.

Success. What can be better? A kid from Sequin, Texas with a dad named Elroy. There's oil field money there i don't even think so no dirt farm money there like that's uh you know go out and harvest the dirt son right no it ain't ready yet okay we'll wait like that's what we're talking about here it's still too still too dry paul it's still too dry paul all right. Hell, Roy. You and the boy come in for dinner. All right, there, Ma.

We'll be in in a minute. That's what we're talking about. This guy ended up going to the University of Texas. He ended up fulfilling that dream. He kicks the longest field goal in NCAA and Division I history. Gets drafted in the first round, high first round, almost the top 10 in the NFL, which is unprecedented. It's unbelievable.

Gets a $300,000 bonus, which back then is like a million dollar bonus. $275,000 right off the bat. He's doing great. He's got cash in his pocket. In his pocket. He can buy a house. He can do whatever he wants. So June 2nd, the next month, he marries a girl. Why not? Let's get married. Fuck it. Ava L. Elsick. Another terrible name. Do these people

God, can one person... Elsick? Elsick with a K at the end not a C E-L-S-I-K El Sik I'd like one person in this story to not have an X

or a K in their name and I'd be very excited he marries her in Guadalupe County, Texas which sounds like just the paradise I would imagine

that's you can't get it it's the second worst Ava name in history next to Braun yeah well yeah that is bad. Well, at least Braun wasn't that bad.

It was her association with Hitler. By the way, Hitler comes up in the story later. There is a Hitler connection to this story. In this story, there are connections too. This is amazing. Hitler, Donald Trump. We have both Hitler and Donald Trump. It's a wild episode.

So he marries her. Now, training camp 1979. Right away, he's just not living up to what they thought he was. He complains of back and leg injuries all the way through camp. He's going to miss a lot of the 79 season due to back and leg injuries and just kind of general bitching and complaining. Does not perform well due to these injuries in training camp. Loses the starting place kicking job.

So they drafted him number 11 to kick 67-yard field goals, and this guy's not even making that. He's not even reliable. He's not even making the starting roster there. Lost that to Rick Sarzo. I don't know who the hell that is, but, yeah, he lost it to him. But he's still the punter. Yeah. Okay. They're going to let him punt. Opening day, big day. Yeah. Like we said,

kid's dream, first pro, first real game, exhibition games don't count. First regular season pro NFL game. It's going to count. Yeah. It's beautiful here. September 2nd, 1979. Okay. Opening day of the season in the Louisiana Superdome, which is a big, giant dome. And back then, a dome was a big deal. It was cool. Now it's a hunk of shit that you want torn down

for natural grass. But back then, it was like, look what we made. For natural grass and the fact that there was rapes and shit in there during the fucking... Now we're like, we made a plastic bag

with grass on the bottom of it. Isn't that cool? No, it's terrible. Let's get rid of it. So they're playing division rival Atlanta this day. So it's a big division game opening day. Huge shit. 70,940

in attendance. My God. And New Orleans. This is for a terrible football team, mind you. That's never been good. So they're excited. They think that they have a new coach. They think that things are going to turn around. People are predicting them to be half decent this year. There's projections being made.

It's looking good. So they're playing Atlanta. This game, great game, by the way. I was looking up the stats on it. It's a division game. Division game. They know each other. Awesome game.

End of regulation. We're tied 34-34. Oh, my God. It's high scoring, too. It's a great game. I'd love to watch that game if it happened now. That's fun. I wish it was on YouTube.

I love old football games. I'll watch all of them. I do that. I go on YouTube, that game if it happened now. That's fun. I wish it was on YouTube. I love old football games. I'll watch all of them. I do that. I go on YouTube and I'm like, hey, look at this. 1982. I've never done that. Bears-Rams. Let's do it.

Yeah, that's a great time. And just the broadcast, too, and the little commercials they do for shit. It's really interesting to just see. Dick Enberg when he was spry. Yeah, and how shitty the graphics are. I love the graphics. They'll be crooked sometimes. You couldn't even make them straight. That the 80s but come on you had fucking computers and

technology of some kind so end of regulation 34 34 we go to overtime we're eight minutes into overtime if you don't know anything about football overtime in football is sudden death first team to score now it's different now if field goal whatever back then now people whine and everybody wants a chance back then any time somebody scored whether it's a safety or a touchdown doesn't matter game over so it's sudden death and if you don't score it's a 15 minute period and if you nobody scores then it ends in a tie which is rare in football and everyone hates a tie in football no one wants to play for five quarters and get concussed in the shit beat out of them and end up with for no so nobody watches your soccer.

Yeah, and even that's at least they try to have a resolution to it. This is, oh, tied, okay, over. So eight minutes into overtime, so it's getting, you know. Nail biter. It's a nail biter here. Time's slipping away. They have to punt. They're on their own 32-yard line, the Saints, on their own 32-yard line.

Now, their long snapper, John Watson. Oh, oh no when you know his name when you know the long snapper's name something bad has happened he snaps it to russell yeah snaps it four feet over russell's head oh shit russell uh a little weighty yeah you know he's been hitting the snack walls a little hard can't quite get up there a little debbie gut holding him down can't quite get up there which is really it was way over his fucking head there's a picture of it it's way over hilarious so he chases it it goes all the way back to the five yard line line of scrimmage is the 32 so i mean this thing flies all the way down there he picks it up and just he's trying not to get a safety because he's on like the two yard line at this point when he picks it up and so he just takes it with two hands off

the ground and just throws it forward yeah just to get it away from him in the end zone and it's of course intercepted by the uh by the falcons who run it back for a touchdown game over so what a debacle yes uh stress and pain and anguish he must have gone through and he thought he was a quarterback, remember? Remember that part? And he shoveled it forward. He's like, get away from me. They're going to hurt me. Not great. Not a great moment in time for him.

Not a great tryout for your quarterback position either. It turns out he's a punter. He's definitely a punter. That guy, he's a good punter. Turns out you move a football much better with your lower extremities. Absolutely. Absolutely, man. That's awesome.

That was the first impression to make on the fans, too. Here's our number one draft pick. Let's see. He's going to boom it like 70 yards. They picked him number 11. Game over. Shit. Well, that was a waste.

Yeah. How'd Kellen Winslow do today? Pretty well? With 150 yards? Touchdown. Yeah, I should have looked up what Kellen Winslow did in his first game. Oh, that would have been magic. God, I'm an idiot.

I was too busy knee-deep in crime here. The shit I had to figure out this week is, we'll get into it, but it's bat shit. You guys, get on Patreon. Donate to our Patreon page because, god damn, I deserve it this week. We really do. We deserve it. So, yeah, the game ends 40-34. So that's that.

And they're looking good. As the season progresses, the Saints aren't bad. They're looking like they're going to be a playoff team for the first time ever in New Orleans, which is a huge deal. The fans are loving it. And then they have a couple shit games at the end of the year. They end up finishing 8-8.

Missing the playoffs. They lose the division to the Rams, who went 9-7. That was the Gus Ferragamo team. They ended up losing to the Steelers in the Super Bowl that year, if we all remember, in Los Angeles. That's brutal. Didn't go so well that season, right? Not great rookie season. March 21st, 1980, things aren't

getting any better. He divorces Ava. Oh, she ain't gonna act at all. Maybe she's the bad luck charm. She thought he was a quarterback too. That's the problem. I didn't like that pass from him. Oh, that's hilarious.

So they get married in Travis County, Texas. Or they get divorced in Travis County, Texas. I apologize. Their marriage lasted, and I love this. I found a site

that had their marriage records which is phenomenal. Awesome. Their marriage lasted one year, one year, 293 days. I love having

an exact number of days on a marriage. It really makes it seem inconsequential. One year, 293 days. I love having an exact number of days on a marriage. 293. It really makes it seem inconsequential. One year, 293 days. That doesn't sound like much. That's not a life. You didn't make a life. So much for happily ever after and so much till death do us part. So now Russell

had a bad rookie season, but he's got a lot of money in his pocket and he's lonely, right? What do you do when you're lonely, Jimmy? Huckers. What you do is you get married again the smart man so much cheaper for a hooker smart guy would get married five months later which is what he does on august 30th 1980 he marries carrie m hoff in travis county texas that one sounds like it'll last and she's 18 years old this one that ain't gonna last yeah he's. And she's 18 years old, this one, too. That ain't going to last. Yeah, he's like 23. She's 18.

Young love. This is a second 18-year-old bride. But it's Texas. He banged her on the hood of a car. Oh, I'm sure. And fell in love. No, no, no. He took her on the 50-yard line of his high school field, I feel like.

That impressed her. Because she's only 18. She was like, wow, I always wanted to be on the field in my high school. By the way, I've got to be there in the morning, so can you drop me off home? Jesus Christ, I've got finals in the morning. Horrible. So, yeah, she probably graduated in June, for Christ's sake, and now they're getting married in August.

You can buy beer, though. And it was Texas in 1980. Things still work like that, I feel like. It's whatever. Anyway, we get into the next season here. Uneventful training camp. They're going to try him out kicking this year. All right.

I'm going to say, since we drafted him number 11, let's see if he can kick a goddamn field goal. Can we use this pick for an actual kick that we designed him for? And this season, the 1980 season, is one of the most fun seasons of any football team we're ever going to talk about. So you don't have to be a football fan. It's just hilarious. It's a debacle of a

mess. Season openers versus San Francisco, another division rival. So it's a home game again at the Superdome. The Saints are down at the end of the game. Final seconds of the game, they're down 26-23. It's so close. 26-23. That's three points.

That's only a field goal. What can get you three points? A field goal. So they send in Russell to try to kick a 34-yard field goal. Fuck, Russell. It's three points. That's only a field goal. What can get you three points? A field goal. So they send in Russell to try to kick a 34-yard field goal. Fuck, Russell. It's so easy. Chip shot. This guy kicks 67 yards. So easy. 34 yards is a chip shot. You're like, this is why we drafted this guy. Money. Send him out. They probably, dude, just started

checking his watch. Started reading the paper. I was going to say he was looking at his phone, but they didn't have that. He's just sitting there, takes out their paper. He's looking through his stock quotes going, I'm glad I invested in AT&T this far. Let's see if there's any other coaching jobs available. Send him in there, no problem, right? Beautiful.

And hopefully, too, we won't have to throw any passes in this particular situation. So he misses a 34-yarder at the end of the game. As time expires, Saints lose 23-26-23. Earns himself a new nickname of Blunderfoot. That's where I propose. You've got to leave it up to disaffected sports fans to nickname people. That's wonderful. They're like, Thunderfoot?

How about Blunderfoot? Fuck this guy. 11th overall. How's Kellen Winslow doing this year? He was goddamn near MVP last year, this fucking bastard. That's so good. The Saints in the 1980 season after that. So you think of that, if you're a Saints fan,

and they were predicted to go to the playoffs this year too. Again. If you looked at every expert's projection, it was Saints are going to win the division or at least make a wild card this year. They're probably going to win 10 games. This is the year for them to at least make a wild card this year. They're probably going to win 10 games. This is the year for them, you know, to at least make a step up in the right direction. And after the first game, 26-23, they missed the field goal at the end.

It was close. There's hope. There's still a glimmer. And it looks like a good team. And you're like, all right, they played that game tough. Sometimes good kickers miss easy field goals. It happens. It happens.

And he's coming in. Who knows? He's a little shaky, whatever. The Saints go on to lose their next 13 straight games. Oh, my God. 13 straight games. That is brutal. That's insane.

At the time, they tied for a longest losing streak deal with the Buccaneers from a couple years back. And it stood for a while. They ended up finishing the season 1-15, which at the time they were the only team to ever finish 1-15. Since then, there's been a shitload. 88 Cowboys, you know, 89 Cowboys.

There's been one that finished 0-16. Yeah, the Lions. That was awful. But they finally get their first win on week 15,

December 14th versus the Jets. They went, oh my God. They went the whole year until December. They went 14 losing to win one in December.

It's the garbage time. And the Jets were win one in December. It's the garbage time. And the Jets were terrible that year, too. It's just a mercy fuck. And this game, too, had zero degree wind chill with 45 mile an hour gusts at the Meadowlands. It's even an awful game to watch. At the Meadowlands, which was such a windy place. It was cold and windy. And Archie Manning somehow managed to throw a touchdown pass in the last minute of the game and win the game.

Thank God. Magical. Magical sperm and magical arm, apparently. So, yeah, the Saints are terrible that year. They're so bad that, like I said, predicted to make the playoffs, the team, after there was a Week 12 game against the Rams, and before that, the whole week, the team team started all the fans started bringing signs and calling them the ain'ts yeah and that's when

they had the bags over their head and shit that's the first week 12 against the Los Angeles Rams was the first time fans wore paper bags to a sporting event

this is the first time and this has spread because they didn't want to be known as people that were fans of the ain't gonna win that's the thing they wrote ain'ts on it

you've seen the fans with the poked out eye holes with a paper bag on their head. These were the people that invented it because this team was so terrible. Kicked off by a missed field goal by this fucking idiot. So if you see a guy with a paper bag on his head, this guy helped start that. He was the catalyst. It was his leg that kick-started that fucking movement.

That kick-started the old Blunderfoot movement. And this spread around everywhere. Amazing. So after that game, ownership's looking. They're like, let's see here. We have no wins in 12 games. And the fans are wearing bags on their head and calling us the ace. This is not great.

They lost that game to the Rams 27-7, by the way. And a lot of these games this year were like 41-17. They got the shit kicked out. Just blowouts. They were getting hammered every week. This is probably the start or two of like when whatever NCAA team won the national championship. They're like, put them against the Saints. Yeah, exactly.

It's not even close. The Saints probably still would have won even with this guy. Right, right. The Saints would have killed them. They're real fucking men. Absolutely. But the point is because they're so bad. They're so bad.

People are making that comparison. So they're so bad, people are making that comparison. So they're so bad that Dick Nolan gets shit-canned after that name. They're like, that's it. They add bags

on their head. Dude, you're out of here. Sorry. Good pick, Dickhead. You can't even get the fans to come with their faces exposed. That's how bad

you are as a coach. We're not having you anymore. They hire Dick Stanfell, another Dick. We need another guy named Dick in the building. There's too many in football. Yeah, Dick only lasted, he coached the last four games of the year and went on to be a defensive line coach with the Bears for years with Ditka.

And even when Ditka coached the Saints in the late 90s, he dragged this guy out of retirement to come coach his offensive line. So he coached on the 85 Bears, the legendary Super Bowl-winning 85 Bears. So Stanfell got around, old Dickie boy, old Dickie S, Dickie Stans. So that season ends pathetically. They get one win, and it's one of the worst teams in the history of football,

and just a complete second disaster. So that coach is gone. They get rid of Stanfell, too. He's just an interim guy. They bring in Bum Phillips the next year. Oh, wow. You know Bum Phillips, a legendary, one of these old character. It's incredible.

One of these old character Texan coaches. It's just a character. Got a nickname. Bum is a real name. That's got to be a nickname, right? No, no, it's a nickname. It's got to be. It's a nickname.

He's Bum Phillips. In an interview when he first starts coaching the team, he's been there like two weeks, and the reporters are asking him, you know, what about this about the team? And he's like, I don't know, but I sure found a lot of good places to eat around town. That's one thing I did. He's one of these old characters like, you know, I ain't watching any film or nothing, but that place has some good gumbo down the way. Shot the barbecue.

He comes in. He says, you know, what he's going to be doing this season, and this guy's doing this. This guy's doing that. He said, Russell's playing kicker and punter this year. He's doing both jobs for us. It's going to make him work and earn that fucking money. To him, too, he's saying, save a roster spot like that. There you go.

That's another, you know, special teams guy or a linebacker I can throw on here. And, you know, whatever. You never know what you need. He says, quote, he did both jobs in college and did it better than anyone else. He's not lying. He's not lying. He's not lying. He's going to be our guy. Now, that's March 18, 1981.

So he's going to play. And more good news on March 18, 1981. There's a big, big ad for RCA in this paper. I thought you were going to say like a baby was born. No, no, no. RCA, the electronics company. They're advertising, and this is really actually

pretty goddamn interesting. They're advertising in only four days to go. And they're like doing a thing like four days to go, three days to go with the newspaper. Countdown.

The premiere of the, quote, RCA SelectaVision video disc. Oh, boy. Which is a laser disc. Yeah. This is when laser discs were invented. Those big, fat wafers.

They were so big. And they're amazing. The quality is incredible. And in the 90s, they came back, and they were really big, and everybody thought they were new technology. They came out in the 80s. They were just so expensive. Nobody used them.

Couldn't afford it. And the quote on this is, quote, In four days, you could be watching the best in movies, concerts, sports, and more, dot, dot, dot, on records. Like, that's so desirable. Such a big deal. On records. Now you like it, don't you? You love that LP, record player, huh?

Only if I can rewind and watch in slow-mo this fucking Russell missing that punt every time. Yeah, just over and over. The ellipses on there really got me, though. Dot, dot, dot, on records. Like, they really wanted you to wait for it. The build-up. Wait for how you're going to watch. On records.

Sold now, right? The suspense. The suspense. Also, too, there, at your local Spartanburg, South Carolina Goodyear dealers, you can get some radial tires for $38 apiece and a front-end alignment for only $18. Fucking deal, baby. So, I mean, that's pretty good. I dare you to try to find an alignment for $ 18 fucking deal baby so i mean i dare you

try to find an alignment for 18 bucks now good luck buddy good luck get back to all i'm gonna say i just thought that was incredible that was when laser discs started at that moment it's pretty awesome it's a weird thing so september 25th 1982 we're gonna cut to here through his uneventful he's just punting they're not even letting him kick after that debacle in the beginning of the season was he at least a good punter did he toss and kick he wasn't bad

but not great no he wasn't anything like that his accuracy he didn't work on shit he just and he even says it later he's like meh

you know just kind of kicked and his son's kind of the same way he has a son of course we'll get into that though you know we will guys

you know we'll get into that so this is the 1982 season was a strike season for football, if we all remember. There was a big strike in the NFL. And this is during the NFL strike. Russell is a player rep. Now, the unions, every team has a player. They have a few player reps who are like the union guys who go around and see who on their team will vote a certain way for shit and stuff like that he's the the union um steward yeah of his team there's

a couple union reps on for each team and he's one of them which is he's the kicker which is odd but he's a smart guy he pretends to be a smart guy all right he fools people into thinking he's a smart guy which is the which is the catalyst this This is the beginning of it here, of his whole life of crime here. He figures out how to manipulate people. Oh, absolutely. He figured that out a long time ago, but he really figures it out here. So, yeah, he thinks, and he's saying this shit publicly in the papers, that he feels like the negotiator that was hired by the union,

by the players' union, a guy named Ed Garvey, is pressuring them to keep the strike on. Russell says that he's been reprimanded by Garvey for publicly speaking out against the strike and its demands. And he says while he's canvassing the team, he runs into players who are not into the strike. And he's like, how come our voices, how come their voices aren't being heard? Is his basic thing.

And on the strike, we have an in their own words from Russell on the strike. Him trying to act like he's intelligent and smart. In their own words, quote, If the players want it, fine. If not, let the voices be heard. I am by no means not wanting to mess up the whole union. We're behind every team in the league. But we just want to find out if everybody still feels the same.

It's not a weakening of position at all. Do the people striking really know? Or are they just doing it because everybody intimidated them to strike? Fair enough. Good questions. It's fair enough, right? And this is fine, but he's really doing this just for his own clarification. Of course. We'll see in a minute. So November 10th, 1982, a couple months later, shit's getting heated. They're still striking. Owners are pissed. There's a lot of shit flying around the media because they're trying to place, basically it's public pressure and scrutiny and so well he's going to get his ducks in a row find out if everybody's voice is being heard everybody's voice needs to be heard

well it's true and well the owners are trying to put blame on the players so that you know pressure on them to come to the table and the players are trying to put pressure on the owners publicly because i mean whoever the fans kind of blame is who's going to get blamed that's how negotiation works absolutely so russell here claimed now he's claiming that he was threatened that he's threatened about voicing his public dissent against the union like physically threatened we have it in their own words on the threats here on the threats in their own words quote i have received threats indirectly from several sources saying that ed garvey would have my leg broken and all this stuff. When I called Garvey, he laughed and denied it and said it was all just bull, just people starting stuff.

So he's out publicly saying this guy's threatening to break his leg. And Garvey's just laughing at him for it. Yeah. Which, I mean, he's sure. They're sitting around. I'm sure the guy was like, yeah, that guy needs his goddamn leg broken. Right. And then somebody told him that.

I'm sure he wasn't like hiring thugs to do it. It's like 12 Angry Men when they're like, I'll kill you. And he's like, see, I told you you could say it. Yeah, and out of this too, I mean, back then, they probably might have broken his leg. I'll break his fucking leg if he doesn't go along with this. New Orleans in the early 80s? Yeah.

He could have got a leg broken for $80 probably. I'm sure it was cheaper than that. I'm sure it was a gator head or some shit. He negotiated the pants off an 18-year-old on a 50-yard line. He did. This is the guy I want 18-year-old on a 50-yard line? He did. This is the guy I want negotiating my contract for my future in the NFL. The union claims here that several players have been threatened by this, but the only actual complaint on record is Russell's name on it.

So I think he's probably full of shit anyway. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from SmartList Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane.

And if you listen to my podcast, you'd learn that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink roller coaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Thanks, guys. Now back to the show.

Both situation gets resolved. And this is the problem too this happened with a lot of guys after the draft the guys that were kind of draft agitators didn't stick around the league too long afterwards the owners weren't too keen on keeping the guys around a shit that guy's a shit stir that guy let's get him back for for trying to stick it to us during the uh during the strike so uh he's released after the 1984 season by the Saints. Or he's released early 1984, after the 83 season. So I think he plays out his contract, and that's it. He's out.

He's gone. So he doesn't play the 84 season at all. Wow. He sits on his ass. Stunned. I assume eating brownies and fucking, I have no idea. More of the little Debbie snack games. Yeah, diddling his 18-year-old wife, who's now, you know, she's now 21.

Right. She didn't buy beer on her own, so I imagine this marriage is going to go elsewhere pretty quick. Absolutely. Yeah, now there's going to be problems. She's going to be able to. She can get whatever she needed him for. She can go out to the Honky Tonk at night and go whatever they got in Texas. Oh, Honky Tonk.

This is 85. She can go to that place that Travolta went in Urban Cowboy and ride the mechanical bull with Debra Winger, I assume. I have no idea. I don't know what these fucking people are doing. She's got half an NFL contract money.

She's something. depending on whatever that other broad talk. I'm sure he left her high and dry when you're kidding here. Of course. Does he have a kid

with her yet? Is that what you said? They end up having one child, him and Carrie here. Yes, a son. This is a different son though than we'll talk about.

No, it's the same one. Same one. I apologize. A son named Ryan we'll get to. Look at son. This is a different son, though, than we'll talk about. Oh, no, it's the same one. Same one. I apologize. A son named Ryan we'll get to. Look at this. His boy named Ryan, I think he's born about 82, 81 or 82.

It's pretty quick after they get married. Start of that douchey day. It's been a couple years. Yeah, Ryan. Ryan fucking awfulness. Ryan, ex-last name. Erkslubber. Erkslubber.

It's so gross. It's a mumble. Erkslubber. Erkslubber. She sounds drunk saying it. I don't know what she's doing. Russell Erkslaber Erkslaber it's so gross it's a mumble Erkslaben she sounds drunk saying it I wrestle Erkslaben he's kind of you'd never get a DUI

with that name I wrestle Erkslaben they'd be like Jesus dude that is your name that is Jesus wow Jesus that sounds awful

I thought you messed it up there's a lot of consonants you got there buddy you're going through enough son go ahead and get home that's a ton of consonants get out of here go on home

just down that way don't worry about it you tongue wrestle that name every. Get out of here. Go on home. It's just down that way. Don't worry about it. You tongue wrestle that name every day? Get out of here. I'll call ahead and make sure nobody else gets you. So January 31st, 1985, the Los Angeles Rams take a shot at him. They sign him to a one-year deal. Really?

Yeah, they give him a shot. They're like, what the hell? I mean, that's what happens with kickers. A guy starts. Kickers have three bad games. They're cut. They're auditioning 10 new guys. You're right. Let's see what right let's see what happens so they actually sign him to a one-year deal he doesn't make the team never plays for the rams that year at all but he gets some cash yeah you

got whatever his bonus was i mean that's that which probably wasn't much for a guy who's a you know kicker off the street kicker who hasn't played in a year on the street uh now 1986 here's our donald trump connection 1986 he signs with the usfl new jersey generals owned by donald trump at the time okay now this one of the first terrible decisions donald trump ever made this well he the terrible decision he made was destroying the league yeah i'm fucking torpedoing it with a lawsuit and having them not play rather than retarded. I was a kid. Goddamn motherfucker. I don't care. You know what? Here it comes, Jimmy. Skip Bayless, fucking Lou Gehrig, Cal Ripken, kiss my ass. The USFL. There we go. This has nothing to do with politics, by the way. I don't give a shit who you fucking voted

for. If you're an American, we have a lot of overseas listeners. You don't care. Over here, I don't care who you voted for. This isn't about politics. I could think every policy he has is wonderful. This motherfucker. Watch the documentary Who Killed the USFL? It's a 30 for 30 documentary.

It's on ESPN. It explains a lot, but I was a little kid. I loved the USFL. You lived it. I loved it, goddammit. Do you understand? It was football in the spring.

Yeah. So there was the NFL, and then the NFL was over. It's the off season. Oh lived it. I loved it, goddammit. Do you understand? It was football in the spring. So there was the NFL and then the NFL was over. It's the offseason. Oh, you're so lonely. Three weeks later, guess what would happen? Goddamn football would start. More football. And they were having bidding wars, you know, stealing NFL draft picks and they had

great players. It was great drama. Steve Young, Doug Flutie and Herschel Walker and Reggie fucking White and Chris Carter. They had these great players. It was exciting. It was so much fun. It was on ESPN as a kid. I remember watching it.

I was like, this is so fantastic. And then it was gone. It was gone. Why was it gone? Because Trump wanted to move the shit to the fall and compete with the NFL. So he just did the whole thing to try to do that. Basically, they were trying to pressure the NFL to get them to take teams into the league like the AFL did and like the aba did and the nba we explained that in a past episode how the aba did

that with the in perpetuity he's trying to do that and make more there's enough fucking teams and enough games what an asshole tried to buy an nfl team and they wouldn't fucking sell him one because they said no he's kind of an asshole you already have one of those in Al Davis. Go fuck yourself. So he bought this. You already have Al Davis. Absolutely. That's hysterical. So he bought this and tried to muscle his way into the NFL or basically say, we're going to go to the fall if you don't fucking let us, if you don't take us in.

The NFL said, go fuck yourself. They had a court battle. They won the court battle. But you know what they won? A dollar. That was the damages. The trading places. Yep.

For that in February of 1987. February 3rd, he gets a divorce from Carrie Hoff here in Travis County, Texas again. She's got enough. We're going to keep hearing about Travis County. Yeah. You nailed it. She's down riding the mechanical bull, dude. She doesn't need his beer.

That's it. Travolta's there doing the two-step. It's over with, man. It's over. I love it. It's going to happen here. So this marriage lasted six years and 158 days. Oh, goodness. Which trivializes it big time, I feel like. Six years? Six years. That's great. And 158 days. Six and a half years. It makes it sound a lot more true. They built a life. They had a son. Six years, 158 days. Makes

it sound very small so fuck that my kid's older than that no worries yeah that didn't last very long so 87 like i said he's signed by the detroit lions he plays in one game i don't know if their puncher was injured yeah or and they just needed a guy for one game he has one punt for 52 yards which is a great point yeah that's a really good one he must have been a complete assholes the only fucking thing i can think of yeah or he might have hurt himself you know must have been a complete asshole is the only fucking thing I can think of. Or he might have hurt himself. He might have pulled a hamstring or something.

And they said, all right, we don't need you, old broken down kicker. Or maybe it was just too long of a field goal. They were on like the 45 and they punted the shit through the end zone. They're like, what the fuck did you do that for? That wasn't what we needed at all. Put it on the five, you dick. Not what we needed at all. So his career stats, we have not much to go by. He only kicked four field goals in his entire career in the NFL.

With the 11th pick. 11th pick overall. Record-setting college kicks. The whole deal. Wow. You would expect him to at least play, you know, for a while. By the way, he's replaced by Morton Anderson as the Saints kicker. The longest kicker ever. Who they kept for

20 years. He played until he was almost 50. I think 49 or something. He played for the Falcons. He played for all kinds of people. The most consistent, perfect, left-footed son of a bitch going, man. Morton Anderson was great. Punting-wise, he had 280 punts. He played for bad teams. They punt a lot, too.

280 punts. Probably had that in like four games. Yeah, that was just the 80 season when they lost 15 games. 11,381 yards in these punts for 40.6 average per punt. That's great. Which actually isn't. That's really good. It's not terrible. It's not wonderful.

It's mediocre NFL punter. That's really good. That's an NFL punter. If you're averaging 40 yards on your punts, there's punters now that, I mean, then again, with the run back too. It's specialized. It's a different thing. The net of the yardage. It's not bad, but it's not one, it's not, you know, Reggie Roby or anything. Right, right, right. Rest in peace, Reggie. Love Reggie Roby. God, he'd kick over his head. All right, enough 80 shit here. Okay. Now, things don't go well for him personally. So he's got a divorce.

He eventually remarries, but I don't know the exact year. But he's going to remarry. So don't worry. Love's on the horizon for Russell. I know you guys were worried about him at home right now. They're like, no, no, Russell. No, don't be alone, Russell. Please.

Every Friday now he's going to that high school game, though, and watching. It's not going well for him. He's just personal life. Yeah. The bonus doesn't last him quite that long. No. And he hasn't really been doing much. He's just, personal life. Yeah. The bonus doesn't last him quite that long. No, and he doesn't really, he hasn't been doing much

money-wise. He's gotten two divorces. Two divorces and been cut from four teams. He's got child support. He's got child support. He's got issues at this point in time.

There's finances to cover. He's got to finance Cammy's trips to the honky tonk. Let's get real here. You know what I mean? So, Happy Hour only goes so long. Only goes so long, man.

1991, he files bankruptcy. this will be his first financial in foray into the world of just a mess of finances he claims assets of 6 130 dollars that's what he owns 6 130 dollars in assets owing creditors about 1.3 million holy shit that's That's nowhere near $6,100. That doesn't add up. Those numbers don't add up at all. That's not good. He probably had a big house and nice cars. He says later on, and it'll come up a lot,

and there's reason for the rest of his life, is that he likes a jet-setting lifestyle. He says, I don't want to live an 8 to 5, he says, lifestyle. I don't do that. I want fast cars and trips and shit like that. Everybody does, dickhead. Who doesn't?

Exactly. But he really wants it bad. He wants it bad enough to fucking lie in an illegal fashion for it. Put it that way. To manipulate people out of their socks to get it.

Now this particular bankruptcy, all of his debts are forgiven by the court. So he walks away free out of this. Walks away scot-free somehow out of this. How is that not illegal? I assume he had decent lawyers and whatever. I don't understand it. So all right, now we're going to get into something complicated. We go through the 90s and he gets involved with a company in the 90s. He keeps trying to figure out business and how to do things in business. He's trying to do financial deals.

He's trying to, at one point, there's an entertainment complex with bowling alleys and a miniature golf place. He's trying to build mini malls. There are things they call classes to go in the gym.

Classes, absolutely. Well, he went to college. He went to college for four years. He could go back. He could go back. He could go back. He's not. Securities and shit like that. I'll get into what they do.

But they need a sales guy. And if you're in Austin, Texas, and you have a guy who is a huge star at the University of Texas, right at your disposal, that's the guy you want. That's the face of your company. A, he's got connections with a lot of people from the University of Texas. A lot of people have gone on to be successful businessmen. Boosters, people with money.

Boosters, alumni, people like that. He's got a lot of connections. Through the NFL, he gets a lot of connections, too. Of course. You know a lot of wealthy people. So he's a good guy to have around, and he's a good talker. As we've heard from him, he's a slick talker. He knows how to say what he needs to say.

Probably has a southern accent. He's got a Texas drawl. And that Texas drawl is like a... It's like a real plain spoken. When he speaks, he's like, I'm Russell Erickson. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Let me tell you something.

But it sounds like a gravel road. Yeah, he talks like a dumber Steve Austin. That's how he talks. It's just real comfortable. Yeah. Real like a father figure. And trustworthy. He's got that accent.

What he tells you is the right thing to do. And he's a famous guy. He played in the NFL. He seems legit on the up and up. I've seen this guy on TV. Yeah. He's fine. Basically, their said business was selling securities.

This is what it says. I don't know if this is what I've... Yeah. It's selling securities to the public in the form of investment contracts involving foreign currency. So they're basically betting on the futures of foreign currency. I don't like this at all. Exactly. You're buying something you can't touch.

Absolutely. This is fucking terrible. Yeah, a lot of people do it. You're betting on the ups and downs. And this was before the euro, so this was when every country had its own currency. And you could really kind of try to hedge markets. And you've got a southern man that's very trustworthy. Absolutely.

Selling you shit you can't touch. And they are going around promising investors returns of between 70% and 100% annually. Oh, God. If a guy gets you 6%, that guy's a fucking wizard. Yeah. He's a wizard. You stick by him. If he gets you 10%, you suck his dick at night.

I don't care if you are a straight male. I don't care if you're an 86-year-old woman. You blow that, man. 10% is great. So I don't care. Let me tell you. And he's selling this shit to people without a driveway, with like a dirt road that they drive to their house.

And he's telling them, I'll get you double your money back. And a lot of these people, the odd thing is a lot of these people that he that invested with them were savvy investors really they were savvy investors they just thought that this guy was hot shit he sold himself well he's famous and they just have investors and they're like 100 hell yeah boy they said i want to get in on this too well it's one of these things where people were like if i can make a scam this real quick yeah hey this is how about if it sounds too good to be true you know that's exactly it if it sounds this is this whole episode is a lesson of if it sounds too good to be true let me tell you something it's not true it run yeah see arch leaster end of fucking story right

there just see arch leaster unbelievable fuckery from episode 20 whatever the hell it is there good lord so uh 1998 now the state of tex the Texas Board of Securities begin investigating AFI, obviously. I mean, that's no... They got wind of a 100% return. They got a tip from somebody, too. Yeah, like 100% returns, eh? Let's look into that. Let's have a talk.

Yeah. So now they're investigating them all through 1998. And it starts to get a little bit heavy. And the walls are starting to close on this company at this point. They know things are happening bad. And you know things are going to go awry here. Because on September 8, 1998. There's a date.

Oh, yeah. Russell begins making payments to company investors now only investors he's paying are friends and family basically he's like this is not lasting long i'm gonna get you guys and who knows if it's for them or if that was him investing his money through it right we don't know and hold on to the charges it sounds like it was probably he was using them as a bank basically because i'm sure there's something you can't do it yourself. It has to be through some archaic financial law. Guys, this is what I mean.

You have no idea. I'm a comedian, okay? Jimmy, you're a comedian. I'm a comic. I do a fucking podcast about true crime. And I do a lot of research and all this. I am not like a financial journalist. No.

I do not work for the Wall Street Journal. You would need years, years of financial training, education, and experience to know what the fuck happened here exactly. So I am going to give you the basic broad strokes and we're going to talk about, and guys, if there's a financial guy out there who wants to come in and tell us, don't. I don't fucking want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know.

Well, actually, he filed Form 812C with the FCC. I don't give a fuck. Don't give a shit. FCC, SEC. I don't care. Okay? I'm going to give you the broad strokes. And none of you fucking care either.

I'm going to tell you how he was a scumbag and cheated people. That's what you want to hear. I don't think you want to hear about the paperwork and exactly what complicated minutia of the law he brought. He robbed Peter to pay Paul. That's what happened. Boom. Ponzi scheme. You know what a Ponzi scheme is? Bernie Madoff. That's what

he's doing. Madoff with a lot. It's a Ponzi scheme. The people he was paying off included the Dunns. This is Leslie and Gloria Dunn. They happen to be the parents of his current wife, Kimberly. At some point, he marries a woman named Kimberly here. Now, so this is his in-laws. That's one of the people he paid. Now, from September 8th to September 11th, 1998, Russell paid out over $1.2 million to family and friend investors. So himself,

basically, we'll say. say gotta get that money out and make sure that it's paid to the right people yes we will launder it through them and now you're doing now you've got a ponzi scheme and your money laundering you bet and wire fraud and right it's starting to add up there are lots of charges coming in i don't know shit about financials i know this is bad that's basically he's bad he's so he's scamming people. So then suddenly, on September 14th, 1998, AFI closes its doors. They just shut down. With all kinds of people's money. Yeah.

So it's one of those things where it's like in one of these movies where they have a phone room and they're burning people. And they come to work one day and everything's gone. Was it all? That's what it was. It was one of those. Legal problems were mounting and I think they just wanted to stop. It was one of those. Legal problems were mounting, and I think they just wanted to stop.

September 18th, 1998, there's court proceedings in Travis County, Texas, about this in district court because they're like, they want to close down. So now they're not watching them anymore. Now it's like, they stopped. We need to fucking close the trap here. Okay. Let's check in with a new character here. Janet Mortensen. Okay. check in with a new character here janet mortensen okay she has made the temporary receiver over afi

at the request of the texas state attorney and securities commissioner okay now basically the receiver her job is to try to get the financial shit right she goes in digs through the books figures out who took money from who who who needs restitution, who stole it, what can I get back. Where's the money supposed to go? Her job is to try to right the financial ship of everything. Not to make the company solvent again, but to make it so it's...

Goes away, back to zero. Make it so, yeah. How much money can we get back from the scam and pay out to the people who it's owed, basically, who they took it from? That's her job, okay? She has a tough job, let me tell you, because this is a fucking mess, what they did. In this case, AFI, they said to have taken over 800 investors for $36 to $50 million.

Oh, my God. That's a shitload of money. Oh, my God. That's a lot of money for a small-time Austin. $36 to $50. $36 to $50. That's a $14 million gap. Yeah, and it seems like 50.

That's at first, it seems like 50 at the end. They quote 36 is what they know, but it seems like 50. It's an odd thing. Basically, this was a Ponzi scheme. They would send out statements showing that the people made profits. Basically, they'd send them statements like, look how profitable. Look, we told you. You want to keep it in there, right?

And they would show you how everything worked. And they would take new investors' money and pay those people off with it. So they'd get new investors in. They'd get that money in. That's what a Ponzi scheme does. And then they'd pay off the guy who they just told that their investment was a success with.

Investment wasn't a success. Probably never even happened. They're going to get that money back in because those people want to make more. As far as they're looking at it i'm making huge returns here i'm not it says on my sheet they sent me a print it's printed right on paper it's here in black and white they took it off a computer they hit print and it printed out so it's got to be true back then if someone gave you a piece of paper with shit printed on it you just believed it literally if they had a printer set up enough to do that you'd go wow they got their shit together this must be real that's exactly what

happened so anyway they're looking at you know he gets the printer they would say that you made profit and then they'd send you profit you keep going with them so that keeps it keeps it in or you keep bankrolling it in which is what obviously russell's hoping for well he doesn't have to pay anybody out yet you have to keep getting more and more and more new investors so you can pay that out. It's like plate spinning, basically. You're spinning one plate and that's starting to wobble and shit, you better hit that

because you've got two more over here coming. Eventually all those plates are coming down. It's whack-a-mole. It's Lucy with the chocolates. Whatever goddamn analogy you want to put on it. Lucy with the chocolates. That's what it is, man. That's a good one. It's really goddamn analogy you want to put on it. Let's see what the chocolate is. That's what it is, man. That's a good one.

It's really what it is. And no profits actually existed was the problem. Now, Russell and the prosecutors would constantly harp on the fact that Russell used his status as a University of Texas football star and an NFL player to lure in investors as a trustworthy guy. I trust Peyton Manning. He's the front man. I buy his pizza every week. There you go. That's terrible fucking pizza trustworthy guy. I trust Peyton Manning. He's the front man. I buy his pizza every week.

There you go. That's terrible fucking pizza, too. I'm joking. There's no way I'm eating that shit. I would hope not. I mean, Jesus, you're not that white trash, are you? No offense to you Papa John eaters, but God, is that shit awful? That's why Papa John's is so successful, because people trust Papa John.

They trust him. And they trust Peyton Manning. They do. They go on and they go, they look like trustworthy gentlemen. It's better ingredients. Obviously, it's better pizza. Clearly, that's how it's got to be. No, it's that fucking garlic butter

makes it fucking edible. That's what it is. Yeah, they give you shit to dip it in. Right. Here's a salt pool to dip it in. Enjoy. It's delicious. I love that butter.

A buttery cup of salt. And if it's cold, it's garbage. Here's a shot glass of salt. Yeah, do that so uh this company also they found out spending a lot of cash on luxury offices and you know entertainment and trips and shows and a jet setting life wolf of wall street basically that's what they're doing they're having big parties they're telling because these people are doing coke and these people are hustling money so they're gonna keep them happy that's what it is plus they needed to live the

jet setting lifestyle like i said he's not doing an eight to keep them happy. That's what it is. Plus, they needed to live the jet-setting lifestyle. Like I said, he's not doing an 8 to 5. No. No. No. He's doing some boring financial shit. He can't be an NFL player or something fancy like that. At least he's got to be on a fucking jet.

He's Lenny Dykstra, God damn it. Right. He's Arch Leaster. That's what I mean. By the best. By the best. So many suits are filed against this company. I was finding lawsuits.

How long did it last? What? The whole Ponzi scheme. It was about three company. I was finding lawsuits. How long did it last? What? The whole Ponzi scheme. It was about three years, I think. Wow. The whole Ponzi scheme, two years, three years. This, I never looked at court documents more than, I read full appeal documents. Full, whole court things of the whole case of documents, complaints, appeals.

Insane in this shit. In different states. I found one in Idaho. I was reading a complaint against them in Idaho with another guy from AFI who was scamming people in Idaho. He canvassed the country. It's insane. Robbing $50 million from people.

Meanwhile, he was the 11th pick. Yeah. And if he would have just focused on football like he focuses on fucking people over it. That would have been great. He could have been Morton Anderson. He could have been Morton pick. Yeah. And if he would have just focused on football like he focuses on fucking people over. That would have been great. He could have been Morton Anderson. He could have been

Morton Anderson. Unbelievable. But instead he is not Morton Anderson. He's Russell Erbilglugler. He's, yeah. He's more like Morton Downey Jr.

to give an 80s reference from the time this guy played. Terrible. He's a pile of shit this guy. And the thing is too, like I said, they had a ton of other guys doing this. It wasn't just him on the phone all the time, but he's the president of the company.

So they're doing this at his behest. This is his idea, and he's behind it. So they're saying, even when you're calling someone, you're saying, Russell had me call you. Exactly. Our president, so-and-so, and it works like that. So basically, April 30, 1999, Janet Mortensen, the receiver here for the company that they appointed, issues a demand letter to the Dunns, Russell's in-laws, advising them to return the payments they received from AFI and Russell.

And if they refuse, they face being added to the case as defendants next to AFI and Russell. Oh, shit. Yeah, so that's hardcore. They're going to say you're involved in the Ponzi scheme because you're benefiting as much as they did. Yeah, which they are because they were laundering money through him, basically. Absolutely. Allegedly. So the Dunns begin negotiations with Mortensen over the amount at this point.

And I think they're just stalling for time. This goes on for a couple months because then on June 10, 1999, the Dunns file a suit against Mortensen, and they do it in Louisiana. The original suit was filed in Texas, so they're trying to play it so the Texas case gets... Basically, what they're doing is they're trying to say, we're going to file this in Louisiana, so put a stay on that Texas case.

Hold that while our case that we filed gets done in Louisiana. Change the jurisdiction. Change a lot of shit. They're trying they're trying to go over their heads basically and it doesn't work their their goal was to try to get a judgment declaring that they were not obliged to return not obligated to return the money to afi basically that that whatever they got it out of it was fair gains basically they're saying yeah we got returns but they're saying no you can't they can't steal 50 million from everyone else and then pay you back like they had profits. Not exactly the way business works. And you happen to be the parents of his wife.

That's the other problem. And Jesus, imagine the shit he's getting at home. I mean, think about that shit. No pussy. None of that. There is no sex happening. They're federally upped this lady's parents' asses with microscopes. Do you know the level of shit he's getting at home?

Imagine that. My parents. Every conversation starts with my parents. Be rude to your in-laws once, Jimmy. You're going to hear that shit. Now imagine you had them launder a million dollars for you and now federal prosecutors are threatening to add them onto a Ponzi scheme trial. Your fucking wife would kill you.

There's going to be a federal lien on your parents' house. I know your wife. She would murder you for that. I don't have to... If I took a letter out of the mailbox and it turned out to be the neighbor's mail and they wanted to federally charge me with mail theft, I'd hear about that for five years.

Jesus, these federal charges. Federal mail theft. I'd hear about that for five years. Jesus, these federal charges. Federal mail fraud. Fucking wife can't even take a federal charge once in a while. What's that about? It's like, I'm a good guy. Every once in a while I get a federal charge. You got to back me up on that, sweetheart. Come on. So yeah, anyway, Mortensen on June 15th, this is a little few days later, 1999, Mortensen files a suit against a large group of investors that benefited that he was paying back, including the Dunns. The Dunns file now a countersuit in Texas trying to have their case severed from the other investors. From Russell's. Oh, from the other investors, too.

From the other investors, because that's another. She files a separate suit putting them with these people. So they're in multiple suits now. The judge goes with that. They take the Dunns out of the large group that she was filing suit against. And they consolidate her. They consolidate the Dunns with the case that involves the wife, Kimberly. Because they're also filing charges against her.

Oh, God. So now his wife and his in-laws and him, he's taking the whole fucking family down. Russell, you have fucked up, sir. This is worse than that punt, Russell. This is way worse. This is worse than missing the 34-yard field goal. This is way worse. So this whole thing is going on.

He has no choice. That's the thing with these financial things. When you're dealing with murder even, I mean, making a murder, like there's all these evidences, but still he's like, I didn't do it. And there's people like, well, maybe you didn't do it and there's people like well maybe he didn't do it there's just electronic transactions you can't hide this

I hope their family shows up to court in paper bags with the ice cap that would be amazing that would be amazing ain't Russell's family it says on it

ain't Russell's family right on the front of his bags shaking their heads so good embarrassed so good that's brilliant

Joey I'm telling you so he can't do anything to get out of this i mean like we said it's it's this is paperwork man this is a different thing no this isn't this isn't just you're the 11th pick yeah and you're and you're a flop well no this isn't like a crime where like i said where it's like his word against yours there's there's a paper trail trails and computer things you got this asshole over here that says that you he made three hundred thousand dollars you got this dick over here that says he made a million bad so finally he uh november 22nd 1999 he pleads guilty to one count of conspiracy

because he'd been arrested a month earlier or he was arrested two months earlier now he pleads guilty to one count to well yeah they had him set up they charged him a lot more Now he pleads guilty to this. To one count. Well, yeah, they had him set up. They charged him a lot more but he pleads guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit mail fraud and one count of securities fraud. Okay.

Basically, he was facing like 40 years in jail or something for even those. He admitted to bilking investors and giving false statements

and admits, he admits to offering 100% returns which which is insane, and also misleading. He also misled investors about his experience in the financial world. He told them he was an experienced investor that got results and had, you know, track record for years. And meanwhile, you can't even kick a 34 yard field goal. He's pulling this out of his ass. He did. That's what he did for them was the equivalent of a two-handed shovel pass from the two-yard line. Just a desperation.

Oh, God, that somebody caught. And then being arrested is the interception, return for a touchdown. That somebody caught and returned for a goddamn touchdown. A mess. So I'm assuming that him pleading to this makes him think he's free and clear. But those police and federal investigators are just putting him in prison to investigate more, aren't they? Well, yeah, he's not free and clear.

We'll get into what he's got here. Also, too, an interesting thing out of this, as this is going on before he's sentenced, in April of 2000, the law firm of Locke, Liddell, and Sapp in Texas, which is a very old, very storied Dallas law firm of Locke, Liddell, and Sapp in Texas, which is a very old, very storied Dallas law firm who represented Russell with AFI in their dealings, not in their crime, not in their criminal defense, but in their, you know, securities business shit.

They are sued and agree to pay $22 million to investors for their part in the scheme because they were complicit in it. Now, the head of this particular law firm is a woman named harriet myers now if you follow politics you might remember her as george bush's supreme court fucking pick are you serious john roberts was nominated yes when john roberts got the got the seat that. Yeah, this is who he wanted to put in. Everybody called her Bush's cleaning lady because it was basically like Bush's fucking...

She's making $22 million payments to people. This is who he was nominating. Brilliant pick, George. Nice pick, George. It went about as well as the rest of his presidency. That is not even political. That's just reality. That's a terrible pick.

That's a 9-11 pick that's terrible absolutely so we go through september uh this this whole thing he's not sentenced for almost a year really in september 18th 2000 he's finally sentenced how long is he he's sentenced to 84 months in federal prison seven years that's for robin 50 million dollars though and a million dollar fine okay and restitution in the amount of 28 million 56 860 dollars and 99 cents that's way worse than the penalty of going to prison for eight years they broke out a calculator for that one you don't get that total without an abacus and a calculator one of those real big ones with numbers with the buttons you don't even know what they do that shit with like an asian kid with like a check with a line and a v and you're like what

does that get me i don't know what that is it does fucking physics i don't know it made a really big number right here wow that's weird there's a lot of shit there's a lot after the decimal million 28 million 56 860 dollars and 9960.99. And 99 cents. And 99 cents. A disaster. Because it's a sale. It's a sale. He goes to...

Exactly. This week, for only $28,056,860.99, down $1 from last week, get yourself a bottle of Jimmy Stank juice from the condensed barbecued beef farts of 5,000 satisfied spectators.

99 cents is so good. Holy shit. Yeah, put it on sale. We're going to make a deal with you. Listen. We're going to make your restitution. Here's the deal. Only $28,056,000. Hey, it's a steal. $860.99. You, sir, may fuck right off. You find a better... Yeah, that6,860.99. You, sir, may fuck right off.

You find a better... Yeah, that's you, sir. That's you, sir, may fuck off. Never mind 20 years. You owe $28 million. You, sir, may fuck off. Go out and work that off. You can find a better deal anywhere else.

You may not fuck off. I just picture him washing dishes, being like, how much longer do I have? What do I make? I'll make an 8, 10 an hour, okay? fuck off i just picture him like washing dishes being like how how much longer do i have what do i make i'll make an eight ten an hour okay uh this is we got that big calculator with the check with the v on it that the indian kids use in college steve hill i gotta climb so the dunn case is still hanging let's get back to this in a minute the duns the poor duns his in-laws 2002 uh they're the cases in louisiana and texas are both proceeding simultaneously

oh separate of themselves which is crazy um there's a trial set for may 13th in 2002 in texas and july 23rd 2002 in louisiana yeah with opposite intentions and it's the weirdest thing uh so april 2nd before any of this goes on 2002 the duns filed bankruptcy of course they're like let me protect myself that's a great plan it is only only problem is mortensen files a motion to lift the automatic stay granted to people who file bankruptcies awesome because if you file bankruptcy there's an automatic okay nobody can fuck with him for a minute it's like when you're kids and you're you know you're you're like wrestling around beating somebody up and they go hey stop stop i can't i can't breathe oh he means it he can't breathe stop let him get up

it's one of those it's a break just hey let the kid breathe for a second but they're not going to get this breath because they're going to keep getting tickled uh yes on may 2nd exactly i rolled up in a carpet may 2nd 2002 the court grants mortensen's motion mortensen's motion against the bankruptcy stay. Case proceeds on May 13th in Texas. The Dunns do not appear. Judge rules in favor of Mortensen's

and Mortensen. The Dunns are ordered to pay $141,162 in exemplary damages each Dunn. So that's double. $282,000. $282 in exemplary damages each. Each done. So that's double. That's $282,000. $282,000 whatever, $324 each for willful and malicious retention

of other investors' money. They also must pay $70,581 in actual damages, $20,536.17 in prejudgment interest on the actual damages. And then $30,000 for attorney's fees for Mortensen through trial. $20,000 if there's an appeal. It's going to cost them another $20,000 for those attorney's fees in the Texas Court of Appeals. And then another $10,000 in the event of an appeal to the Texas Supreme Court. That is so much money. Wow. You guys fucked... You should have really vetted your son-in-law better.

No doubt. Don't marry that... You know they hate their daughter right now. Oh, God. Nice pick, ass... She always picked the assholes. You and the Saints. In high school...

A couple of assholes with your picks. She'd come home with guys with mohawks and everything else. Dirty guys. One had a van. I don't care for that. No good. Her had a van. I don't care for that. No good. Her parents hated them. Also in Louisiana,

the case filed by the Dunns against Mortensen was dismissed. So they're fucked, basically. Oh, boy. The Dunns got fucked. Boy, that marriage has to be rocky at this point.

But they are still married, by the way, at this point. Get out of town. She does not divorce him while he's in prison. Does not divorce him. She lasts eight years while he's in prison?

While he's in prison. While her parents are just being eviscerated financially and legally and everything else okay 2004 comes along here's another scumbag uh brian baum he's an investor a forex investor one of the afi investors gotcha he files a suit against janet mortensen the receiver. His father, Sheldon Baum, served time with Russell, was serving time with Russell in the AFI case. He was one of the scummy investors. So Baum, Brian Baum, is an attorney, Sheldon's son. He meets with Russell several times in prison trying to figure out a way to, quote, get back at Mortensen,

back at Mortensen who they, for what they thought were lengthy prison terms for Russell and Sheldon, the father, lengthier because of Mortensen. They think that Mortensen had it out for them.

You didn't get enough time, in my opinion. My opinion either. $50 million? Are you kidding me? You ruin people's lives. A lot of them. $50 million,

not from a bank. A lot of them. Not from the man. You didn't fuck the man. You fucked so many men you robbed women and children and god knows who else fucking the salt of the earth amazing what a dick and investors who thought they were hot shit and we're gonna hold it against mortensen so this bomb got character here this brian bomb is sanctioned by the district court for this they're not taking

any of this shit right uh this guy also tried also tried, tried to contact the media and say bad things about Mortensen. She was, quote, conspiring with her lawyers to embezzle money from the nearly $32 million collected. So he was saying she was collecting the money and she was taking it on her own, which, whatever.

Anyway, she said she got back about $0.60 on the dollar for the people who had taken it from her. That's not bad if you got got taken in a scheme, get back 60 cents, 60%. I'll bet you Kevin Bacon hasn't gotten that back from Madoff. No. Goddamn right. So now 2005. He's scheduled to get out of prison in 2005.

Russell. Okay. So he did five years. He receives a package two weeks before his release date. Okay. He receives a package in jail before his release date okay he receives a package in jail it's from one of his wife kimberly's friends god i hope there's a razor blade in it no it's a it's a it's a it's a package of folders and and prospectus and it's paperwork and it's an investment opportunity okay it is his wife's friend who is a big guy in mini malls, he was building something called Funland Park, which was some amusement park-y type whatever bullshit.

Something to bilk people. I don't know. But this was an investment. Funland Park. Funland Park. It's the cheesiest, stupidest fucking thing. I don't know. Just say Funland and we'll figure it out later.

Fucking Funland. I don't know. They typed it on the letterhead. They're like, we'll get it. We'll figure it out later. We'll get. I don't know. They typed it on the letterhead. They're like, we'll figure it out later. We'll get something better later. Funland's good for now. Sounds like an eight-year-old named it.

Absolutely. That's so cheesy. This was a package about investing in German bearer bonds. Okay. Now, German bearer bonds. Yeah. The package was labeled, quote, the German financial time bomb. Is this where Hitler comes in?

This is where Hitler comes in. Okay. The German Financial Time Bomb. Is this where Hitler comes in? This is where Hitler comes in. Even Russell says later that he thought it was too good to be true. Even he says that. This asshole. So, all right. Basically a Barabon. A German Barabon.

Now, have you ever seen Beverly Hills Cop, Jimmy? Yes. Okay. Do you remember his friend who came in, who got out of jail and came in, who was living in L.A., working for the lady that he goes and sees, who runs the art gallery? Mikey Tandino.

Yeah. Okay. Mikey. Mikey comes to visit Eddie Murphy. Eddie comes in and pulls the gun on him when he's in his fridge. He's like, oh, Mikey. And they hug. And he's like, what are you doing?

And he opens his little briefcase and he's like, I got these German bear buns. Untraceable. Untraceable. And Jetty's like, I don't know't know man i'm a cop blah blah blah and he's just like they put it away and they go back to their business right that's what i think this is okay i looked it up i think they're the same thing the fact that my only knowledge of them comes from a comedy a bullshit movie where they just pulled that out of their ass as something valuable and untraceable makes me a fucking moron but i tried i really tried guys but it makes this patreon.com slash crime and sports please itunes give us five stars say these guys are out of their fucking minds learning about ponzi schemes but this guy getting out of prison was like sounds good let's go let's

do this so 2005 he's two weeks that, he's released from federal prison. His wife picks him up from prison. They're leaving. And as they're leaving the parking lot, the wife says to him, aren't you going to turn around and take a last look? And he said, in their own words on this, quote, I told her, no way. I am looking forward. One thing I was thinking is I was never going back there again. What do you think the odds of that are, folks?

What do you think? He did one financial scheme and we're covering him on here? I don't fucking think so. Let's keep going. I got a feeling Mikey has another thing to say about that. A little something. Mikey's going to come in. I got German bear. Untraceable. Axel. Axel. They're untraceable.

Foley, check him. Look at these. Watch Beverly Hills Cop if you've never seen Eddie Murphy at his best. Anyway, so not in Beverly Hills Cop 3, not 2. Fuck that. 1. Anyway, 2008 comes along. Now this starts in 2005. He starts getting into this deal with the Barabans.

2008, his probation officer, because he's on supervised release, obviously, because he's a scumbag, because he's on supervised release, obviously, because he's a scumbag, writes in a court report to the state that the state was investigating Russell at this moment for selling and trading German gold bearer bonds. Already. Which, yeah, he's out three years. He's already being invested again. Oh, God. On this whole deal, we have an in their own words for Russell,

kind of a look inside to see kind of how he looks at things. And this explains a lot of his psyche, okay? Here's a look at the wizard. Here's a look at the wizard, and he's like a gnarled-up little troll man. He's a little monster. Oh, got long fingernails. He's a disaster. He's like Robo Stiltskin. God. So on this, in their own words, quote,

Businessmen, the way they keep score is with a bank account if you want to play division a class a of the sport the way to do that is you got to hit a big deal and sometimes it just doesn't work so he's like it's not about doing small things i could build up this thing no you got to do the big shot deal that's the only way people notice you right because he's got to be flashy gotta have flash he's gotta be a douchebag jesus christ so uh now 2009 so another thing that's going to come up later and this one's very interesting okay a company called now jesus christ i looked this up it took me a while this is an artist a french artist i don't know how i know nothing about art okay i know like van gogh i know i know dick rembrandt i know shit about art so i saw this

name and i'm like how the fuck do i pronounce this g-a-u-g-u-i-n go goga that's what it is goga is how it's pronounced okay so it's the goga partners llc is called there's a company formed in 2009 goga partners llc it's formed by two unnamed individuals who, quote, this is their deal, quote, located, whose, their job is to,

quote, locate and contract to purchase the Go-Ga, the Go-Ga painting, The Sorcerer of Hiva Oa. Okay?

This is a famous painting you've probably seen and it's like this lady, like an indigenous looking lady standing there. You've seen the painting. It's a very famous painting like an indigenous-looking lady standing there. You've seen the painting. It's a very famous painting.

Now, Russell, keep in mind for later that he was not a part of this group in any way, shape, or form. They do not know him. He is not associated with them. But they want this painting. They want this. That's the group, basically.

That's the flash that they want to get. Okay. He has nothing to do with these people let's just say that not associated that with him in any way he says he is but he's not and we'll get into how that happens but april 30th 2009 elroy dies oh no that's sad poor elroy boohoo his son was a piece of shit now he's dead sorry elroy i don't know what to tell you. By the way, there is no, I feel bad for this one this week because his name is Erlix Erxleben. I found, I actually found a fucking Russell A. Erxleben. I found one.

Yeah. But not on social media. Okay. That's what, I found him like through property searches and record searches. I found like birth records of his son in Ohio. He lives in Ohio. And you know what? Everybody's been scammed.

People have been wronged. People have money. His wife, his in-laws, everything's happened. I feel bad for all those people, Jimmy. Not as bad as I feel for Russell A. Erksleben in Ohio, who I found the birth record of his son. I don't know what he does for a living. He's not on social media. Put it that way. But he exists somewhere. He exists. If he's not on social media, I'm the birth record of his son. He exists. I don't know what he does for a living. He's not on social media.

Put it that way. But he exists somewhere. He exists. If he's not on social media, I'm not going to break his balls. He's not putting himself out there, even though I just fucking did. But I'm not going to say what he did for a living or whatever. It's not a whatever. I'm not going to give you his address or his son's name or any of that shit.

But this poor bastard has to live with this, even the same middle initial. That's terrible. Yeah, try to get someone to invest with something with you if you're that guy. Good luck. Try to find anyone with that last name. Absolutely. That's terrible. Yeah, try to get someone to invest with something with you if you're that guy. Good luck. Try to find anyone with that last name. Absolutely. That's so terrible. So this is still going on.

Everything's happening here. Now, there's a fluff piece on him, I find. What? On him and his son in May 13, 2010. His son, Ryan. Remember I told you about his son, Ryan? His son, Ryan, is a freshman punter at Texas Tech. What? Okay. He's a punter also. Now,

he's a smaller guy. He's only 6'1", 90. He's not like his dad. He was actually a really good defensive end also in high school, but obviously he's a little too small for that in college. So, Russell brings his son to an ex-college punter and an old guy, old friend of his, named Coach Zahner. I can't find his first name and I didn't look that hard because everything is just Coach Zahner's this, Coach Zahner's that. Coach Zahner has a little empire of special teams coaching. He runs an instructional camp. He's one of these guys. Send your kid here

for two grand and I'll teach him the fundamentals better. He's like a comedy coach. Yeah, except these guys actually get results. They actually know what they're doing. Coach Zahner, you can get him at coachzahner.com, Z-A-U-N-E-R-Z-A-N-T-O-M. Now, on his site, there's what they're trying to sell you here. Here is his mission statement. Quote, Coach Zahner teaches a natural style of kicking and punting.

Renowned kicking coach offers kicking, punting, and snapping lessons in Arizona and Wisconsin on his site. So Russell takes Ryan to Zahner's camp in Scottsdale. All of these, by the way, we're in Phoenix. We're based out of Phoenix. All of these weird, like, conditioning centers, they're all here. They all show up here. They're all here because a lot of athletes live here in the offseason. Coach Zahner's, we'll make a kicker out of you.

We'll make a kicker out of you. Come on down. But it's like a lot of, like, college people that go there. And even, like, guys getting ready for make a kicker out of you. We'll make a kicker out of you. Come on down. But it's like a lot of college people that go there. And even guys getting ready for combines go to these type of people. Shit like that, yeah. They go to the conditioning specialists. Okay. Anyway, Coach Zahner writes a whole blog.

There's a whole blog about how Ryan was brought in by Russell and how Ryan improved while he was there and he couldn't be happier. Also how he's known Russell forever and stories about telling who Russell is and what he did in his life. No mention of prison, Mike. By the way, sir, don't mention him. Don't mention Ponzi schemes or anything like that. He has, now if you have a guy like this, what does Coach Zahner do?

He has Russell do a video testimonial about how great Coach Zahner is. So if you go on there, you can watch a felon. Bilk you out of more money. You can watch a Ponzi scheming asshole. And he doesn't seem real slick when you're watching. Because he's standing there like in a field. And you can tell the guy just set up the camera and went, go. And he's just holding a football in his hand.

And he's got like a tank top on. And he's real heavy. And he's like, I'm Ruxler and I play for University of Texas I play for the Lions and the Rams and the Saints

and I'm here to tell you man Coach John I brought my son Ryan and that's the whole thing he just mumbles a three minute promo on this thing and just talks about

how great the punting camp is but is that the guy you want doing testimonials? No. You want trustworthy people doing testimonials. Well then again I don't trust him.

He did say he's trustworthy. That's a a good point that's a very very good point that's southern that southern voice it's amazing that's what it is man so i just who the fuck would do that whatever they say whatever he says about zahner i would think the opposite that goes on he posts this blog post, Zahner, in May of 2010. And so July 5th, 2010, he got a nice testimonial from this upstanding guy. This great old hunter. Trustworthy man. As trustworthy as they come. Solid. He's a solid citizen.

Salt of the earth. Salt of the earth. July 5th, 2010, it is announced that Russell is under investigation for selling post-World War I era German gold bearer bonds and then not delivering on them. Of course. Russell calls the investigation a witch hunt, obviously. It's not him. I've never done anything like this before.

Besides being the bonds that Mikey had and showed Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop, I'll get into a little bit what they are. and showed Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop. I'll get into a little bit what they are. I'm not going to go into 1,000% explicit detail because it's complicated and it's also not interesting and I don't know that much also is the other thing. I don't want to sound like a fucking idiot. So basically what these bearer bonds are,

post-World War I, before Hitler came to power, I told you there'd be a Hitler reference, before Hitler came to power, Germany would issue bonds out to people who invested in Germany because it was decimated after World War I. Right. And these bonds were payable in gold.

That's why they're called gold bearer bonds. So you'd have a paper bond and you would turn that in and they'd pay you and it'd be worth its money in gold, which is a big deal later on because gold is worth a lot. Yeah. If you have a million dollars worth of gold, it is a big deal later on because gold is worth a lot. Yeah. If you have a million dollars worth of gold, it's a shitload of gold and whatever.

So anyway, basically that's the deal. And I guess during World War II, Hitler wasn't exactly paying these back. They're not because U.S. investors had it. Hitler was a crooked man. Hitler's not going to pay back the bearer bonds. He said, that's the old government. That isn't my government, so I don't want any part of it. So then after the war, these bonds became kind of a big deal yeah and they're

they're apparently as mikey said untraceable and uh and a very interesting source of revenue here and apparently you know he's doing something crooked we'll find out what that is in addition to the go uh goga and uh tie in as well now october 5th 2012 there's a really nice fluff piece on him this is while he's under and publicly under investigation and was in prison so it's not a guy you want to do a fluff piece on okay this is two years later this is the investigation credibility on the line saying this guy's got it going and this is two years later too this is you know it's still go i guess that they just forgot about. It's an article on mysanantonio.com a Texas thing

called Erlixbin or what the hell do we put or how do we say we pronounce it?

Erlixbin. Erlixbin. Erlixbin. Erlixbin. This fucking guy. Same thing. Erlixbin. The guy that worked

for Nixon. So Erlixbin the title of the article is Erksleben Punt's Legacy to Son, which first of all, you hacky motherfuckers, number one.

Second of all, do you remember his punt? Asshole. Do they mean shovel passes legacy to a son? Erksleben Punt's

Legacy to Son. What a shitty, hacky title. That's just the lamest thing they could do. That's what I expect from mySan punts legacy to son. What a shitty, hacky title. That's just the lamest thing they could do. It's what I expect from mysanantonio.com. If he was a quarterback,

it would have been passes his legacy to his son. If it was a, you know, if it would have been, if they were chefs, it would have been

cooks up a legacy for his son. They have no shame. So the article is all about Russell's son, Ryan, the Texas Tech punter, and about how his father

is his biggest mentor and how he's just invaluable, as valuable as it comes. You guys, that's not a good mentor. Yeah, he says that all he needs to do if he's struggling on the field is talk to his dad. That's it, and he's good. And very simple, in their own words here, from Russell on Ryan, he says, quote, he gets into ruts sometimes and thinks too much.

Sometimes I tell him to just go out and kick it. That's his huge advice, I guess. That's his great advice. Son, go out there and kick it. All right, then. Thanks, Dad. That's Russell Erksleben, motivational speaker. Get out there and kick it.

Kick it, son. That's his whole speech. You pay $50 to hear him say, get out there and kick it now. All right. Okay, then. Anybody want to buy some bear bonds or some securities? Now, listen. Now, it's a 100% return guaranteed now.

100% return. So, head coach of the Texas Tech team, Tommy Tuberville, which is a fantastic hillbilly coach's name. Tommy Tuberville says that Ryan's punting has been vital to their 4-0 start that season, which if your team is, a college team is dependent on the strategic punting, you're not a good team. Good college teams win 75-12 like they did when he kicked the 67-yarder. Tuberville said, quote, I probably should hire his dad on staff. When we have problems, we go to him.

Russell will come up here for a weekend and watch our game, and then on Sunday he'll give him a few tips and dissect everything. Ryan works at every aspect of punting, but that's all him and his dad. They work well together. Jesus. I fucking wish he would have given this guy a job, because maybe then he would have not had time to rob people constantly like he's going to do here.

Because let's get into this here. One more little thing here. Ryan says, quote, It's such a big advantage. He's really been the guy to take me through this using his experience to really help me during my journey. I'm blessed to have a great dad who's been through things that I'm going through before.

Your dad's a felon. Wait until you get arrested by federal marshals. Then you can share everything and forget about it. You guys can share a cell, for Christ's sake. Share a cell. Fuck, man. They're going to share everything. and they're going to share everything.

2012, Russell is sued by an Austin, Texas man saying that he fraudulently induced this man to buy $60,000 worth of German gold bearer bonds supposedly worth $350,000 and they were never delivered on. Now... Here's a tip. The guy... Here's a tip.

Yes, this is obvious. When somebody says, this is worth this much, give me a third of that. A third of that? That's not even... That's not even a third of that. Yes, this is obvious. If somebody says, this is worth this much, give me a third of that. A third of that? That's not even. That's not even a third of that. That's like a fifth. You give me a fraction of it, and I'll give you something that's worth that much more than that?

Unbelievable amount. That doesn't. That's the equivalent of, I'm your cousin in Africa. No. Wire me 30 grand, and when I get home, I'll pay you 300. That's like a crackhead would be like look i got a big check coming tomorrow from an accident i had i got a lawsuit they can't wire it to me because yeah if i could just get if you give me like 14 right now i'll give you like 1500 tomorrow okay

that work for you that's so good like 14 and i'll give you 1500 it's like a thousand times more but that seems reasonable, right? Holy shit. That's what's going on here. This fluff piece is all around and then the lawsuit and then January 2013, he's arrested. January 24, 2013, he is arrested. This is after years of fluff pieces

and gee, he was ready to, in October, old Tommy Tuberville, Tommy, Tommy Tuberville. Ready to give october old tommy tuberville tommy tommy tuberville ready to give him the key to tuberville right key to tuberville exactly he's ready he's ready to put him on the staff and unleash him on all of his kids hey kid uh what do you got money for books this semester what do you think about you ever hear german gold bearer bonds anything like untraceable untraceable he's taking tuition money out of these kids pockets fucking door you got a pell grant what do you got for food and both through our room and board there guy let's get into this he is charged with five counts of wire fraud one count

of securities fraud and two counts of money laundering oh boy he faces up to 140 years in prison for this little fucking escapade that he's been doing. Whoa. Now, at this point, Jesus Christ, things have to be feeling bad for him. He's got to be down. I'm trying to process that much time. 140 years. My God.

140 years. In Texas. No, this is federal. It's a federal prison. It's all standard and federal but you're still looking out the window and seeing texas yeah sorry texas no good it is not nice hey look flat dirt this is great i think it'll change tomorrow uh uk no no equivalent australia the whole middle of your country's texas just look out there that's texas it's probably about

the same indigenous people actually austral Australia is huge, but still. Right. Okay. So at this point, 140 years in prison, you need something to take the edge off. Something, some shawarma? Some shawarma. Some shawarma, maybe? Something to eat, some snacks. Maybe he sees the shawarma man and he says to him,

how is it you've come to arrive here? Why are you here? What's wrong with you, man? You have NFL career. They give you hundreds, thousands of dollars. They give to you. They give to you. Right up front, they give to you.

You have crooked agent. You kick ball like shit. You kick ball like shit. They still give to you. You come, you go to, you get out of prison. You kick like shit of dog. Wife wait for you with pussy. Do you understand?

She pick you up. You say you no go back, then you do that. Why? I give you money from shawarma stand for better bonds. You say worth ten times as much. Shawarma man get nothing. You say you have money, then you no give to us. Like Dave Meggett's rape victim with her apartment.

Same thing. Why you do that? Why? Sign say closed. You come anyway, you take my money. Why? Sign say closed. You say you have money, you no give to us.

You no give to us. I no make Schwarm for you now. No. You get no Schwarm. I no make for you. No. No, you I no like. You go. Sign say closed. I'm trying to us. I no make shawarma for you now. No. You get no shawarma. I no make for you. No. You I no like. You go.

Sign take clothes. I'm trying to breathe. Go. Shawarma man get nothing. So now that you're all really rooting for him, he took the shawarma man for money. Now let's crime and sports universe, crime and sports movement,

let's get behind. Bucket of fuckabouts as you've decided that you like to be called on Twitter, which is insane, which is why I love you fucking people because you're crazy.

Fuckabouts. So, this 2013 case, the prosecutors claim he's been running a Ponzi scheme since 2005. Yes. Wow.

Interesting. The prosecutor, Robert Nell... They just caught on? Well, they've been building evidence while he's been bilking people, too. Thanks.

Thanks, people. Imagine you've got the money taken from you while there was an investigation going on. Hey, thanks for stopping him from doing that to me. Jesus Christ. I'd be like, I'm destitute. Let's watch this serial killer and make sure he kills five or six more women. You know, thanks for doing that. So, yeah, Robert Elder, the prosecutor, said he devised a scheme to solicit money from

individuals, quote, by means of false and fraudulent pretenses, representations, and promises. No shit. That sounds right up his alley, doesn't it? And he was saying he's going to, same thing, exact same thing, Ponzi scheme, paying back the old investors with new investors. Robin Peter Playpo. Yep.

Prosecutors say he planned to package bonds into an asset-backed security and market them to institutional investors this is some complicated financial shit he was going to package everything up in a big bullshit stew yeah and try to fucking sell it to alleged bullshit i assume try to sell it to people who have like 401ks and big you know you can borrow pools of you can borrow against that institutional investors which would be your your pension funds and that sort of shit i would think basically so they say that he promised quote 100 or greater returns for up to 30 years unbelievable so you know that's full of shit 30 years if you are that greedy where you

think that's real you deserve to be taken i? If you are that greedy where you think that's real, you deserve to be taken. I'm sorry. You're talking about, you're telling somebody, you give me 50 bucks, it's going to just keep going. Forever. For 30 years. No, keep giving me money, too. Russell, he's represented by a public defender this time, though, named David Peterson, who doesn't even sound like a good silver-haired middle-aged white man.

He sounds like a guy with papers falling out of his briefcase he sounds like he looks like bernie sanders but doesn't quite have his shit together as much you know what i mean he fumbles into the office fumbles he's like oh god i'm sorry it's like a tuna sandwich falls out of his briefcase like oh my lunch oh no that's all that's all he's got like some papers that are blank he's like i don't know what happened i have these to drop it he's just got he's just got packing peanuts why does he have those who knows so elder the prosecutor said quote in his currency scam a big part of his a big part of it was his connection with investors due to his being a university of texas football player that's exactly what he did it again that's he does the same shit now the goga thing, the Gauguin thing, the painting.

Remember, there was that group that he's not a part of, not associated with, that he claims to be. He's not being a part of it. It didn't stop him from using the company's name to solicit money from investors to get money to do what he called to authenticate the painting. Basically, he was doing this he collected

over two million dollars from people painting that he has nothing to do with nothing nothing claiming that the painting was worth 58 million dollars and what they were doing why they said the total authentication authentication process was 75 000 50 000 up front they needed so he'd get 50 000 from people and what he was telling them is you're buying a piece of this painting you're buying into this investment group of this painting and then we're going to sell it for 58 million and then your 50,000 is going to be you know half a million that's the thing it's a 10 times return this is bullshit that he's telling what a dickhole exactly and people are like oh it sounds great so they're just as fucking stupid it's probably too good to be true probably too good to be true so the investors were told you know all this shit and it turns out

this painting which by the way is from 1902 is actually in the collection of the modern museum of the modern museum of art in belgium okay they say that the painting is is a quote inalienable public property that they say they're not in negotiations to sell and would never sell it for any price at any time to anyone. Ever. Ever. It's owned by Belgium. Period. The people own it.

They're not getting rid of it. They're not having a yard sale in Belgium, basically. They're just not. Maybe if there's hard times coming to Belgium, they might start selling the Gauguin's, but not now. And this is in 2015 or 2012? 13. You can Google that. Yeah, well, 2010, 2011.

He was doing it for a couple of years. Somebody could have Googled that. They just trusted him. So September 2013, it's like a Bond hearing type of detention hearing. Russell has his request to be released on Bond reviewed. The court stated that it wanted to wait a second it wanted to examine quote whether there were any combination of conditions that could keep that could keep Erxleben from breaking the law while under supervised release

like is there anything can we put him in the Hannibal Lecter mask and on a fucking gurney and we'll just bring that straight jacket straitjacket he probably he'll probably still be like you got what do you think of barabans you know anything i got a securities it's great good deal i'm telling you telling you 20 grand now gonna get you 106 months buddy there's somebody wheeling him around at all times there was a chance that he could get in there here and he's saying the prosecutor here elder says about russell quote that he had quote no qualms about getting others to do his bidding. He could be a danger if out on bond. He manipulates people. He manipulates them with fear. He manipulates them with guilt. He manipulates them with promises. How must it feel to be this

kid? Like shit, actually. And we'll get a quote from Ryan on this whole thing, too. December 23rd, 2013, Russell agrees to plead guilty to a single count of wire fraud and a single count of money laundering he's played this game he doesn't want to go to jail for 140 years no doubt the agreement is for 90 months in jail again about a seven and a half year sentence there pending judicial approval pending if the judge says it's okay uh so february 24th 2013 two months later russell sentenced to 90 months in prison also after that he is uh he is required to have three years of supervised release which a lot of good that did last time he was selling bearer bonds the day after he got out of jail and restitution of over two million dollars in addition to he still owes 28 million dollars they still want that money by the way so he still

owes that 28,500 60 20 28 million 60,183 dollars and 99 cents or whatever the fuck it was but so he owes that on top of this now so i mean it's a mess an astronomical number so now he owes about 30 million, $31 if you add in Busser's interest, I'm sure. He probably owes $50 million by now. He's in jail for seven years. He's completely fucked. There's an article on June 7,

2014, called Back in Prison Russell Sees Himself More Victim Than Conman. No. No, you're not. He claims he was the subject of selective prosecution. He's a complete asshole, basically. How about people are victims of you, you dickhole?

Stop it. Never comes up once. Stop stealing from people. He's the victim, though. That's the thing, Jimmy. He's the victim. Everyone's out to get him. Unbelievable.

Everyone. That long snapper did that on purpose. He did that to fuck him over. Don't you understand, Jimmy? it's a conspiracy so his son ryan said of this of his dad in prison quote god is working on him hopefully my dad can learn from this and come out a better man ryan you're a sweetheart he's a sweet kid he's like you know i've been through a lot he was in prison most of my childhood and now he's going to be in prison most of my young adult years. Fuck it.

So we have an in their own words on this deal and he mentions a couple of names of people who he was involved with in the scheme that I didn't get into

because we would have been here for four hours if I got into everybody involved in the Ponzi scheme. So here's these guys in the beginning. They're members of his Ponzi scheme.

Okay. In their own words on the prosecution, quote, if Weston and Penley would have done what they represented, I would not be where I am today. I honestly felt this bond deal was going to change people's lives. Plus, it was going to put Russell back on top, and that was important to Russell nine years ago. Is it important now? Not as much.

That was important to Russell nine years ago. He's got some third-person shit. He went full Ricky Henderson with that shit, though. That was ridiculous. Does Russell? He's a... Was that going to put Russell on top? Was that important to Russell?

Are you out of your fucking mind? You're in prison, asshole. He said that in a striped shirt. Yeah. He said that in black and white stripes. Yeah, he's unreal. In the third person. That's how cocky he is.

What do you think he's going to do when he gets out? You think he's going to go get a fucking job somewhere? Or do you think he's going to start at... He's going to rob people again. I think he's going to get a... His job's going to be to rob people again. I think he's going to get a nice job. Something real simple.

Get a home depot. He can work in the drywall aisle, help people out. No, he's going to go out and steal everything that's not fucking nailed down. He's going to find some more bonds to sell. Yeah. So August 20th, 2015, he's named to the 75th anniversary All-America All-Time Team

by the Football Writers Association of America. What? He's the second team kicker on that team. Wow. They're honoring him. Now, I found something that's hilarious here. Now, I have no fucking idea if this person has anything to do with Russell or if he's in his family somewhere, but I hope so because it's amazing.

It is from a website called Jeff Erksleben Sucks.com. What? That's his name. That's the website. JeffErkslebenSucks.com. That's his name. That's the website. JeffErkslebenSucks.com. It is a website put up by a contractor claiming that Jeff Erksleben and his wife, Katie Erksleben, bankrupted the contracting company by not paying about $140,000 for the completion of their 6,000-square-foot home.

Not sure. Wasn't his ex-wife's name Katie? No, no, it was Kimberly. Oh, Kimberly. It's his current wife, Carrie. Oh, Carrie, that's right. Or Carrie, whatever. So in this it says, quote,

Jeff utilized his knowledge of real estate financing to take advantage of our naivete and neighborly niceness. He changed our contract to suit only his interests, avoiding his wife signing it. He bankrupted our company. Who the fuck does that sound like? He's related to him somewhere. That shit runs in the family.

What if he just changed his first name and just ruined them? Amazing. Now, there is another... I saved this, Jimmy, that I feel bad for, because there's another guy. I know he's not out of prison yet. He can't be, right? No.

He can't be out of prison yet. Seven years or five years to go. I don't know. Because on August 20th and 21st, 2016, at the Mohawk Days Horse Show at the Great Southwest Equestrian Center in Katy, Texas. It's in Texas. There's a horse show there with jumping horses and shit. They named all the judges. Listed as a judge

for both days of this competition as a judge from Simonton, Texas is Russell Erxleben. What? Abso-fucking-lutely Russell Erxleben. I don't know if there's another Russell Erxleben. Maybe the guy from Ohio is now in Katy, Texas judging horse shows

or they let this fucking guy out of prison. Didn't tell anybody because I didn't see a release date anyway to judge a fucking horse show. I don't know what happened, but some poor bastard judging a horse show, no one wants to sit near that guy. They all have their hands on their wallet. And if you cannot get enough of Russell Erksleben and you want to get a nice picture of him,

you can get one with a good player. It's Earl Campbell and Russell Erksleben together because they both played for the University of Texas. It's an autographed page from a magazine on Amazon.com. It's $39 plus $4.99 shipping. So it's a little pricey. Thank God for Earl being in that picture. But Earl Campbell's on it, so it's pretty cool. But it's a big picture Earl and then like this little couple of Russell down the side.

Earl's signature's all big, and Russell's is like small on the corner. It's perfect for that shit. A little scribble. So, I mean, that's Russell Erksleben, and what a complete... He's in prison. That's good news. Thank God. I hope he stays there.

You, sir, may fuck off and pay $31 million back, you asshole. That's the other thing. Stop stealing from people. Ryan, I'm very sorry for your plight. If anybody friends you on Facebook named Russell Orsley, do not give any money. Don't take it. No cash. No, especially if he gives you the old fucking, hey, $60,000, I'll get you $350,000 in bonds.

I don't think so, buddy. I'm good. I'm good. Luckily, I don't have anything to invest in the bond market, so no one's bothering me for it. But good God, that's Russell here. We're going to do some shout-outs quick because we had a lot of iTunes reviews this week that were great. So fun. And a lot of great interactions with people.

Those are so big. Please do those. Thank you, guys. Honestly, the best way you can help us out is with these. I always buy our sponsors' stuff, too. But iTunes reviews really, really help us out is with these ios by our sponsors stuff too but itunes reviews really really help us out they help drive us up the charts which gets us better sponsors which it's just helps us so much yeah please if you like us that's what you can do give us five stars tell us you're following

instructions give us some inside shit that you want to do doesn't matter whatever we just love you for it also if you want to get some shout outs follow us on social media twitter at crime and sports on twitter facebook.com slash crime media. Twitter, at Crime and Sports on Twitter. Facebook.com slash Crime and Sports. We're at Crime and Sports on Instagram. That's right. Check us out there if you want to drop us a sign. That's all new this week. Crimeandsports at gmail.com.

There you go. Basically, any format. If you type Crime and Sports in, you'll find us somewhere. You'll find us. Follow us. We interact. Everybody gets along. People are friends with each other on there.

We have such a great time with that. So fun. It's a little community. We really love it. I'm really enjoying that. And guys, thank you for spreading the word. Just doing this. We're getting our listenerships going up so much.

And it's due to you guys. We're comics. We're not journalists. We still don't have a network. This is far beyond the people that we know. Not that we're really looking for a network at this point. Because you guys have done a great job for us of spreading this. The crime and sports movement.

It's like a wildfire. We love you for it. And if you really want to throw us a few bucks, which, God, I can't help you tell you how much that helps us out, please go to patreon.com slash crime and sports. We have little rewards to give, and there's some cool stuff on there, and it just helps us out a ton. Tremendously.

An extra special shout-out, and honestly, a fucking handjob for me if I see you. Thank you. I'm a cheap date. Susan Wooten and Jacqueline Roberson Collins did that this week. Thank you guys. So we love you guys. out out and honestly a fucking hand job for me if i say it thank you i'm a cheap date and uh jacqueline roberson collins did that this week thank you guys so we love you guys thank you uh real quickly to fuller and wooten the the meme makers on twitter i love those guys and then our fuckabouts that's their nickname that's what they've decided yeah we had the four horsemen it got too big we needed a full bucket They call themselves the bucket of fuckabouts.

So hey. So it's Monge, Wetbedder, Busby, Sean. Salute fuckabouts. Salute. And the good Rev. And then, so this week, I got a package on my doorstep from Busby in Australia. Yes. And he found a man named Trent Duffy.

He goes, his name is Trent Duffy. Artistic one on Facebook. If you look at his Facebook page, look at the amazing things he makes. He's a great artist. Busby sent us two American footballs that are done in original Australian, native Australian artwork. They're not even weirdly shaped Australian rules footballs. They're real, legit American footballs. And they're dot paintings, and they're gorgeous. They're amazing. They're footballs. And they're dot paintings.

They're gorgeous. They're absolutely amazing. Thank you, Busby. Thank you, Trent. Thank you, guys. We love that stuff. It goes right in our studio and we proudly display it right next to our Jimmy Snuka and our Stanley Wilson picture. Thank you also to Eric out there for sending the Stanley Wilson picture to us, too.

We got a nice Stanley Wilson picture. Thanks, man. We love you. Appreciate it. And then Donnie Munsell. I believe you know that guy. Donnie Munsell. I ran into Donnie Munsell last night. Actually, I was opening for Natasha Leggero at Stand Up Live downtown Phoenix and he comes out and he's like, hey, I'm

Donnie. And I'm like, I knew I kind of whatever. And he's like, I love the show. I love crime and sports. And I'm like, what's your last name? Munsell. I'm like,'s your last name Munsell I'm like hey I love you dude thank you so he said you've been listening

since episode one since episode one he told me that and we can't thank you enough man and he just came and saw the show last night too

at Kerrigan Bro and then we have our new yeah him too thanks we have a new girl named Kristen Hess that's listening

yeah thank you Kristen and Heather Steck-Yeaton Tilly Teapot whatever that is yeah thank you that's fascinating Miguel Rico Luana Sharon John Royce in England And Heather Steck-Yeaton, Tilly Teapot, whatever that is. Yeah, thank you for calling us. Miguel Rico, Luana Chiron, John Royce in England, Jackson Bickle,

and a comic that travels around. He's from Phoenix, and then he moved to Chicago, and now he's touring, and he messaged us and let us know. Ryan Thorson is listening to the show. It's kind of fascinating. Awesome. He's a good kid. Yeah, that's awesome.

And that's a Ryan. Another Ryan. Poor Ryan. Hopefully his dad isn't in prison for federal securities fraud. Let's kind of fascinating. He's a good kid. Yeah, that's awesome. And that's a Ryan. Another Ryan. Poor Ryan. Hopefully his dad isn't in prison for federal securities fraud. Let's hope so. Let's hope he wasn't trying to bilk the investors, probably, and the German government out of anything. By the way, the German government is now saying they're not going to pay back the bearer bonds in gold.

As of about 2010, they started saying, hey, fuck this. I looked up a lot of German bearer bonds. so they're even not even paying the the legit ones back Jesus Christ guys between the Ponzi schemes and the bear bonds

I know I want to fucking I literally want to just drill a hole in my head and drain everything I've just learned out of it because I don't need

this information and it's going to push out valuable shit that I do need like you know your kid's birthday references to Beverly Hills Cop and Dudley getting diddled on different strokes and things like that I do need. Like, you know, references to Beverly Hills Cop

and Dudley getting diddled on different strokes and things like that. I need that shit for this show. So let's keep it going. But guys, thank you so much,

so much, so much for listening. Please join us again next week. Tell your friends. Crime and sports movement. It's going. You can see me at...

Yeah, we want to do social media also too. At Whisman Sucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks on Twitter, Instagram, and fucking Snapchat.

And you can see me at the Tempe Improv Thanksgiving weekend on November 20, who knows, whatever the fuck Thanksgiving is. Look it up.

You'll know what it is. He's fantastic, so come out. Come out and see Jimmy out there. That's going to be a good show. Do that,

and otherwise, thank you guys so much. I'm at Jimmy P. It's funny, by the good show. Do that. And otherwise, thank you guys so much. I'm at Jimmy P is funny, by the way. All that shit there on all the formats you can find me. Try to spell my last name. Good luck. Dare you. Dare you to.

But if you can, hey, I'll friend you. Let's do it. Friend me and call me a cunt. There it is. Let's do it. That's the other catchphrase we have there. And so. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Crime and Sports early and ad free on Amazon Music.

Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.