Crime in Sports - #89 - A Monsoon Of Bad Decisions - The Goldenness of Jason "Mayhem" Miller
Episode Date: October 17, 2017This week, we tell a tale that unravels into a downpour of disaster, and stupidity. A fighter who cared more about being entertaining, than being successful. And he was entertaining, as long ...as you weren't a woman, a bouncer, a police officer, a SWAT Team member, a church, or the owner of a tattoo shop. He's a menace to polite society, but an absolute gem for our purposes. Idolize Jean Claude Van Damm, have questionable "fun" hobbies, and spit, punch & be tazed all the way to stardom with Jason "Mayhem" MillerCheck us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at...patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: crimeinsports@gmail.comGet tickets to Crime In Sports LIVE in Chicago on December 14 at http://www.lh-st.com/Shows/12-14-2017+Crime+In+Sports+LiveGet tickets for the LIVE Small Town Murder on the same night athttp://www.lh-st.com/Shows/12-14-2017+Small+Town+Murder+LiveCheck out or site: truecrimecomedyteam.comAll web support by Web and Writerwebandwriter.com or Facebook.com/webandwriterContact us on...twitter.com/crimeinsportscrimeinsports@gmail.comfacebook.com/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/crimeinsports  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome back to Crime and Sports.
Yay!
Oh my God.
Yes and yay and all of that good Y word stuff.
My name is James Petrigallo.
I'm here with my co-host.
I'm Jimmy Wissman.
Thank you, folks, so much for joining us this week.
For sure.
We're so excited this week.
We're super pumped, actually, because we have a crazy, crazy, crazy episode.
We're dipping back into the brain damage sports this week, so you know it's going to be fun.
Lots of wackiness and wildness there.
A couple things to update you on also from our previous stories.
Oh, yes.
A couple of crazy things that went on.
First, though, I want to thank everybody for their iTunes reviews this week.
You guys rule.
You pushed us over 2,000 this week.
We crossed the 2,000
threshold, which is a big deal. That's a lot for a podcast like us, a couple of nobodies. So
thank you guys so much for doing that. If you haven't done it, please get on iTunes and give
us five stars. For sure. Tell us you're following instructions, following directions. It doesn't
matter. We can't stop at the 2,000. We did not cross the finish line. It's a constant race.
Please do that if you haven't done it already.
It really helps us out on the business end with
iTunes, funky algorithms, and all that
sort of thing. If that's not enough for you,
if you're an amazing, amazing
person, like one of the people we're going to talk about
at the end of the show, one of our producers
like we always call them, you
can go to patreon.com
slash crimeinsports and you can make to patreon.com slash crime in sports.
Right.
And you can make a donation there.
Honestly, every penny is appreciated.
When people donate a dollar, we're blown away by it.
We are.
We're like, oh, man, that's so nice of that person to go out of their way to give us a
dollar.
And if you think a dollar doesn't do anything, it really actually does.
You're out of your mind.
Dollars add up.
There's a lot of listeners, a lot of you guys, and dollars add up.
So every dime.
What, did you fucking fight MMA sports?
Of course it matters.
Come on, it matters.
It always matters.
So every penny matters to us.
Thank you, guys.
We're so appreciative.
If you want to make a one-time donation, you can do that over at PayPal using our email
address, crimeinsports, just like the name of the show, at gmail.com.
So crimeinsports at gmail.com over there.
Like we said, every dime we're blown away by.
Everything counts and everything matters.
Thank you.
You guys are the, you're the engine.
You're doing it.
Like we've said, we have a train and we might shovel the coal into the fire, but the coal
is there because you guys have put it there.
You guys pour a load of coal in and then we shovel it and we're happy to shovel it.
Yeah.
And we hope you guys are comfortable back in the back of the train as it moves forward.
As the steam rolls through, the warmth is back there.
Wow, that's a lot of, just a lot of train metaphor for this.
Way too much.
Thank you guys for all of that.
Honestly, guys.
And we have a couple of updates for you.
Yes.
Number one.
Okay, this is crazy.
We all know OJ got out of jail. And O. is not an update for us because we won't do
O.J.
That's the one case we think you've all heard plenty about.
I think you know the story.
You think you know the story.
I think we got a good grasp on it.
So O.J. was in prison in Vegas.
He was.
With, or outside of Vegas, in Nevada, with another one of our alumni, the illustrious Craig Titus,
the idiot bodybuilder who killed a woman, stunned Gunder, did all sorts of crazy shit.
Jammed her in a trunk.
I think it's episode early 20s, 18 to 22, somewhere in there.
Might be earlier than that.
Might be earlier.
It's somewhere in one of our early episodes, but it was a crazy one.
Stupid.
Set the body and a car on fire in the desert to try to hide it.
I think I said this is what happens when you're not satisfied with fucking one woman.
Yeah.
Well, this is how dumb he is.
He wanted to hide the body, so he set it ablaze in the middle of the desert where you could see it for 20 miles on fire.
Where it's dark as shit.
Not smart.
Anyway, this guy, Craig Titus, who's also a very good bodybuilder and a very, I don't
know how you'd be good at it.
He's great at exercise.
He's terrific at exercise.
He got OJ into shape.
This murdering asshole.
He helped him lose 100 pounds and get back into stabbing woman weight.
Oh, the conversation between those two.
Oh, Jesus.
No, no.
You got to lift it up like when you're cutting.
No, see now, when you have the knife, toward the vein, toward the artery, toward the artery.
Yes, there you go.
Now you've got the motion.
That's perfect there.
So that's crazy.
So you pull the barbell up like you're starting a chainsaw?
Yeah, like you're going to hack off, like you're going to dismember the body to dispose of it,
like I had to do in my trunk of my car.
But let's get off of that.
But also, one more update.
Chad Curtis, episode three, what is your net worth in noodles?
Chad Curtis.
Because he has a shitload of noodles.
That kid-diddling asshole, Chad Curtis.
He was sued.
He had four victims.
Three of them settled together in one case.
They all settled out of court.
One of them said, fuck that.
I'm suing you to the ends of the earth and got $1.8 million.
How much is that in noodles?
That's a lot of noodles that she'll never see because he's in prison.
And I assume his prospects of employment are less than stellar when he gets out.
Very slim.
For molesting several high school students.
He's not even going to be able to get babysitting.
No, he's going to be.
I would hope not.
No one let your kids, especially girls, around him.
That's like the bottom rung employment.
He can't even get that.
No, God no.
Jesus Christ.
So all of that aside, we have a new crazy episode for you this week.
And thank you everybody that came out to the Hollywood Improv.
Yes, we appreciate that.
That was a great time
and meeting the people
was fucking amazing.
It was.
We had a blast.
Can't thank you guys
enough for coming out.
Thank you guys.
And hope you enjoyed
last week with John Riccardi
and the whole Dave Navarro's
mom and all that.
We had most people
said they really,
really enjoyed it.
We had a couple people
that were like,
I was a little disappointed
there was no sports.
That was like episode 88.
You've had plenty of sports.
Go fuck yourself.
Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry if I found a story interesting.
And you know where I found that story?
In Sports Illustrated.
So guess what?
It's fucking sports.
There you go.
Blow me.
It was an article called The Muscle Murders.
Blow me.
Blow me.
About Bertil Fox, him, and a couple other bodybuilders.
With a Mel Gibson quote.
Blow me.
Yeah, exactly.
I give a fuck enough.
I give you plenty of sports, plenty of stats, plenty of murder, plenty of all that shit.
If I want to go out on a goddamn island for a week and do a story that doesn't have so
much sports in it, fucking roll with me, okay?
Don't be a dick about it.
Let's play.
Be with us.
Be on board with us.
Be on board for this crazy episode.
Yeah.
Holy shit, this is wild. Let's talk about
a young man named Jason
Nicholas Miller, better known
as Mayhem Miller, an MMA
fighter.
How many times did he say it's Miller
time? Jesus. It's less than
that, actually. He's more about
the Mayhem part. I'm sure
he did in the 90s because this guy is an idiot.
The other thing, too, he's crazy, this guy.
Yeah.
He thinks he's funny is another thing.
And he seems to be super, like, egotistical and he's very much into podcasts.
Really?
So he will probably listen to this and want to fucking kill us because, sorry, bro, you're
getting savage because you are an asshole.
Strap in.
It's Miller time.
He's fun.
He's entertaining as a fighter and all that sort of thing.
But in the real world, it's like, get your goddamn head out of your ass, dude.
This guy repeatedly, let's find out when it all started.
It all started back on Christmas Eve, December 24th, 1980.
He's a Christmas Eve baby?
He is.
Oh, he was a gift to somebody.
He was a gift to somebody that they're like, Jesus Christ, how long do I have to take this back to the store exactly?
Is 18 years too long?
What's the warranty on this shit?
Can I put him away?
Right.
His father was in the Army.
Okay.
So they moved around a lot as a child, which I moved around not state to state to state, but I moved around like schools and all that kind of shit.
It does give you a weird, like you feel like you need to be entertaining yeah it's a weird thing you feel like uh if i'm
entered the quickest way to get people to like you is to be funny yeah be outgoing and have a
personality and yeah show up be entertaining and they're like oh that guy's funny problem is they're
tired of you in like three weeks but he's a traveling class clown exactly that's what it is
and that's that's what stand-up is that's how I realized that stand-up was for me because it's like, well, they only have to like me for a little while at a time.
And then they won't see me anymore.
So it's perfect.
I can do that.
I can win you over.
And then you'll hate me later.
So he's born in Fayetteville, North Carolina.
He grows up.
He's back and forth.
They're in Fort Bragg a little bit because his dad's in the Army.
They move around.
But Fort Bragg is what he kind of considers home for a while.
His father was an 82nd Airborne paratrooper.
Wow.
So, yeah, his dad's a badass.
Jumping out of planes and shit.
Jumping out of planes into bad situations.
His dad's a bad dude.
So, I mean, he looks up to him, too, a lot.
Jason does.
He looks up to his dad an awful lot.
But he's a complete knucklehead, like from the beginning.
From childhood, he's a complete knucklehead.
A lot of that might be maybe his dad wasn't around all the time.
You're looking for attention.
You're going to new schools.
I can see how you could be a knucklehead as a child if you're this guy.
He's expelled from high school for fighting.
That gives you a lot.
For fighting, too.
What a dick.
Yeah.
So, you know, he also, because he was doing taekwondo since he was 11.
So, he thinks he can fight and he knows how to, and he does know how to fight.
He's a good fighter.
So, he knows how to fight and he's looking for attention.
And that's another way in high school where you can get attention is be a tough guy.
If you're a good fighter, then everybody likes you like that.
The fighter in my school was a Golden Gloves boxer, and he got
expelled, too, because he fucking knocked somebody out.
That's what you do. Kids have mouths
on them, and you want to knock somebody out.
And then there's that, too. He was on the high school
wrestling team, too,
so he was trying to fight all around.
He would like to go to karate
schools and
challenge the
instructors to fight him, basically, to spar with him.
What a hubris.
To show that karate was for pussies was his thing.
Like I know I can, I guess, do taekwondo and wrestle so I can kick your karate ass,
which I've heard everybody that does any kind of martial arts that karate is like what you –
it's for six-year-olds basically.
It's not really – it's kind of useless.
It's ridiculous.
It's more like it's like more exercise, like tai chi more than it is fucking combat of any kind what
i learned from karate is that it's fucking chores it's painting a fence it's just waxing shit waxing
jimmy the waxing is so much it's learning how to do it's domesticating that's what it is but if you
do it well and if you learn your craft well, you will never have a fly in your apartment.
That is true.
That's true.
Because you got those fly catcher thingies.
Chopsticks, yeah.
The tweezer thingies.
The tweezer thingies, you called them.
That was on Small Town Murder, I believe.
Those tweezer thingies that those China people use.
That was wonderful.
Wonderful.
So anyway, he's expelled.
The family ends up having to move 40 miles so he can go to a new school because he's not allowed in this district anymore.
Oh, fuck.
So they have to move.
They got to break a lease for this asshole.
For Christ's sake, we got to sell a fucking house now for this kid?
You fucking jerk.
You just picture his military dad the whole way in the moving truck driving 40 miles.
You dumb son of a bitch.
Pulling over every five miles and telling him to give me 20.
Yeah, come on, goddammit. Yeah, oh, I wonder how many push over every five miles and telling him to give me 20. Yeah.
Come on, God damn it.
Yeah.
Oh, I wonder how many push-ups he had to do for that.
So many.
So, so many.
Which got him tougher.
You know?
Yeah.
That's crazy, too.
Like, for fucking up and being a tough guy, he's going to make him get tougher.
Let's do it.
Let's get him all sorts of tough and crazy, and then we'll release him into the world and see what happens.
Do that. And next thing you know, he's an episode of Crime and Sports. and then we'll release him into the world and see what happens. Yes, do that.
And next thing you know, he's an episode of Crime and Sports.
That's what happens here.
Perfect.
He was, I guess he had a judo instructor.
He looked very much up to this judo instructor.
This judo instructor told him to attend a mixed martial arts school, which was rare at that point.
They didn't start popping up until 10 years ago, these MMA schools and UFC gyms and all
that shit.
That's new.
So this was a new thing.
This judo instructor pushes Jason into this.
He ends up having his first fight at 17 years old in Virginia Beach.
Now, this fight we don't know about.
Okay.
The fights we have on record and the fights that he says he was in
are way different okay super different like we'll get into it but he says that he fought about 15
more fights 20 to 20 more fights than we have records of basically yeah so it's really weird
we have a quote about it does he count the ones from high school is that what happens no yeah
no he's saying it's it's he was doing it right from there.
He's counting the ones with his dad. Absolutely, he's counting that. He's counting his dad
smacking him on the side of the head when they're driving with a goddamn moving truck.
0-1.
It's 0-2. The initial expulsion
was 1. This is the rematch.
He worked at a Subway restaurant in Minnesota for a while.
Beating up sandwiches.
Well, he says he got fired.
Of course he did.
From the Subway for being behind the line and picking scabs off his elbows and legs
that he got from skateboarding while making sandwiches.
That'll get you fired in a food service shop. That's pretty much the one thing that's going to get you fired. legs that he got from skateboarding while making sandwiches. So that apparently-
That'll get you fired in a food service shop.
That's pretty much the one thing that's going to get you fired.
What a disgusting animal.
As an actual picking up- you know he had the gloves on too, those big stupid baggy Subway
gloves?
Jamming the scab in his mouth.
Give those people- okay.
I get that those gloves are cheaper than like a surgical glove.
Right.
Have you ever- look at the guy making-
I've never seen one that fit.
Next time you go to Subway, watch the poor bastard trying to make your sandwich with gloves that are five sizes too big and slippery.
They look like their hands are broken and they can't like, they're like the claws in those games where you put a quarter in and you try to get a stuff down and they just can't grab anything and it just slips off it.
That's what they do when they try to grab a tomato.
They fell asleep with their arm on their head and they woke up and they're like, now make a sandwich.
And they can't fuck, and their hand's asleep. It doesn't work at all. I can't feel it. a tomato. They fell asleep with their arm on their head and they woke up and they're like, now make a sandwich. And their
hands are sleeping. It doesn't work at all.
I can't feel it. No, it takes them like
seven swipes to get two pickles out of there.
They can't quite get it. And God
forbid you put fucking six pieces of
tomato on the sandwich. Oh, forget it. No, it only
gets five. It only gets five.
Then to watch them try to take cheese apart
from each other with these... Oh, that's hysterical.
They're pulling it
tight on their fingers like idiots well this guy had scab juice on it while he was trying to do
that fucking gross what does that tell you right here uh so yeah he's doing that in minnesota uh
so 1998 we'll get into he starts fighting in virginia um like i said here though that's not
what he says this is all he did. We'll get into it.
Let's do an in their own words on just his childhood and what sets him up for his adulthood in his mind.
Okay?
Let's set the table.
What year did you say he was born?
80.
1980.
Okay.
All right.
So in their own words, quote, it was 1980s martial arts movies.
Bloodsport was my Bible.
I took it to heart.
I did martial arts on and off as a child.
I got serious about it around 16.
I became really focused on my craft.
That age of the WWF and those 80s action movies combined with enough taekwondo classes gave me this feeling that I could walk the earth like Kane in Kung Fu and go try to defeat better and better opponents and test myself every day what a douche
this is what i'm talking about his idol is jean-claude van damme blood sport and hulk hogan
van damme and hogan ideal dream match you know and in the 80s this guy i'm trying to think of
who he would have liked in wrestling too because i figured he would have liked a dickhead yeah i
can't figure out who i'm thinking he would like rowdy roddy piper even he would have liked a dickhead but I can't figure out who. I'm thinking he would like Rowdy Roddy Piper
even though he's not a dickhead. I love Rowdy Roddy
Piper but just the mouth on him I think he would
like him a lot. Possibly a
Bobby the Brain Heenan fan. I think he likes bad
guys. Or he just likes Hulk Hogan.
I could see him running around going yeah brother
and just flexing at people. Hulk up! Hulk up!
Fucking cupping his hand to his ear.
Let me hear you.
To random people at the grocery store at 14 years old.
And they're like, what are you doing?
He's an asshole.
Huge asshole.
He says he never fought in Rage in the Cage.
He says that later on when he's got, I think, 25 pro fights, he says that he has 34 wins, 5 losses, and 0 draws.
And that's his real record.
four wins, five losses, and zero draws. And that's his real record.
He said he's been
fighting in the Virginia
full contact since he was
17 years old. He says,
quote, this is what I mean, he tries
to be funny with everything. I've been fighting
since Heavy D was skinny. Oh, Jesus.
You know what I mean? He's got these cheesy...
Heavy D was never skinny, first of all.
No, he wasn't. Have you been fighting
since Heavy D was six? Have you been fighting since 1967? Heavy D was never skinny, first of all. No, he wasn't. Have you been fighting since Heavy D was six?
Have you been fighting since 1967? Heavy D was a fat baby.
I guarantee it. He was a fat as fuck baby.
At one point he had a growth spurt, I feel like.
And he was like a little thinned out. Maybe leaned out a smidge.
And they were like, hey, look at that. He's thinning out. And then he just
blew right the fuck up. They made him more
pork chops and it was over. Fighting since Heavy D
was skinny. So April
1998, he has his first pro
fight that's on the record that i could find i'm doing
what's on uh sure dog and what's on a bunch of different fighting like mma might be skinny as
fuck right now though right now he's super skinny he has really thinned out it's impressive honestly
i'll bet you can see his wrists i probably i'm thinking about that. They're likely exposed. His cheeks are probably very.
Oh, the cheekbones are amazing.
Very protruding here.
Very, very Slavic.
So, Virginia Beach, 1998.
He fights, Jason here fights Al Superman Dill.
Okay.
That's an exciting fighter here.
I could find nothing on Al Superman Dill.
How did he not go by The Real, by the way? Al The Real Dill. That. That's an exciting fighter here. I could find nothing on Al Superman Dill. How did he not go by The Real, by the way?
Al The Real Dill?
That's fucking great.
That's amazing.
Yeah, Superman he goes by.
That's hacky.
It's very hacky.
But, I mean, they're probably fighting in a parking lot.
Let's be realistic here.
Yeah, for sure.
This is the level of the Jared Wyatt fight.
I think it's like episode 53 where he cuts a man's heart out.
You should probably listen to that.
It's crazy.
But that episode, they fought in like a casino parking lot where they just set a ring up
and then a bunch of white supremacists stood around it and cheered for their favorite.
That's basically what happened because it was like rural Northern California.
And they were all militia members.
It looked like it.
They were all neo-Nazis.
It looked like it, yeah.
Absolutely.
He wins this fight in the first round.
He knocks the shit out of Al Dill.
He's not so super right here.
He's not quite the real.
No, he's not. He's not the real Dill.
He's 1-0 now, Mayhem Miller.
I don't know if he's Mayhem yet, but he's
Jason Miller at this point.
Once again, he does all of his
in-ring antics.
He thinks he's a wrestler. He's a wrestler yeah he acts like a wrestler is what he does like when he's fighting later on he does
shit like where he's in a situation where like a guy is putting him in like a hold that will
fuck him up yeah and he'll look at the camera and to give a big toothy smile and give a thumbs up
and then go back to fighting but like a real real big like, yeah, like a selfie.
It's a roller coaster.
No, like he's getting his picture taken on Splash Mountain.
The water's about to hit.
And then he goes back to like trying to get out of this hole that'll snap his leg in half.
So he's a fucking nutcase, basically.
And he and he says he picks up a lot from wrestling.
His style is wrestling.
He said he liked Hulk Hogan.
He liked that whole thing.
He would list wherever he could. He lists his hometown as parts unknown oh boy a wrestling thing obviously uh and because
raised by wolves some weird shit raised by weight unknown parts unknown uh no parts unknown because
we said it made sense too because his father was in the army and they moved around and a lot uh
whenever he has to list a hometown some of the promotions won't let you list parts unknown.
They actually want to have a city to say.
He lists Atlanta as his hometown.
So I don't know.
I guess not everyone will accept parts unknown.
You tell me parts unknown.
I'm fine with that.
And by the way, you don't get to say parts unknown if your next answer, no, no, we need a specific place.
Oh, Atlanta sounds good.
That's it.
That's so far from unknown, by the way.
Way far unknown. Such a metropolis.
There's fucking freeways there, sir. Yes. That's not
unknown at all. Not even close to it.
Everybody's heard of it. There's suburbs.
Outcast is from there.
There's lots of big city. Traffic is terrible
there. That's how much people know of it.
Traffic's awful. March
10th, 2001, he has an amateur fight.
I don't know how you can be a pro and then go back to being an amateur.
But he has two amateur fights I could find on record here.
As an amateur fight, it's at the National Guard Armory in Jackson, Georgia, where dreams come true.
He fights Ernie Ward.
No pro record, but he was 4-2 as an amateur, this Ernie Ward, which was not easy to find, by the way.
Mayhem here.
Jason wins by submission with a toehold in the first round.
A toehold?
A toehold.
I don't know what a toehold is.
You grab a hold of somebody.
Say uncle.
I assume like a toehold, like in wrestling, like you pick up the foot and twist the toe.
I suppose, yeah.
But it sure sounds like somebody was a pussy.
Sounds pretty rudimentary.
Sounds rudimentary.
It doesn't sound, it just doesn't sound like a real, like, I don't think you needed an instructor to teach
you to grab someone's foot and try to twist it off.
It also doesn't sound very violent.
Like, a toehold sounds like...
Well, if your ankle's going to snap.
Yeah, I suppose.
You could snap somebody's ankle if you have it right.
But toehold sounds very, very soft, that's all.
That same night, for some reason he's fighting twice.
He did a second one in the same night?
Yeah, it was a tournament of some kind.
Jesus.
He fights Lionel Cortez, who is a 6'185 pounder.
He had two amateur fights, Lionel Cortez.
This is the last of his amateur fights, and he has a 6-7 pro record total.
Last fight was in 2007 for old Lionel.
Jason wins by submission with a rear naked choke.
There you go.
That sounds violent.
So now he's 2-0.
We have the chokes in there. Geez, that and naked, which makes it
sound even more violent. It makes it sound like rape.
Yeah, because if you're doing anything
naked, I think that's an aggravator.
You know what I mean? No matter what you're doing.
If your dick's out, there's a problem. If you robbed
a bank with your dick out,
I feel like that should be an extra charge. Absolutely.
It's armed robbery. It's this, it's that.
And put your dick away, sir. That's menacing as hell.
Yes, exactly.
That's mayhem.
He is mayhem.
And he's got his dick out plenty in this.
That's why I was trying to lay back on the dick out.
Oh, boy.
Because I'm like, his dick's going to be out.
So I didn't want to hit it too hard.
Let's put it that way.
He's a problem.
Let's find out here.
Now he's going into pro.
He's going to try to really make a career out of MMA.
So let's find out what his whole theory and his philosophy on this is.
We have in their own words, quote,
It was cool enough for me to headlock throw a kid on the concrete when I was 14.
But if I headlock throw him and did a thumbs up and laughed to my friends,
then that became the stuff
of real legend.
My fighting style is pro wrestling.
I'm just new pro wrestling.
I think I'm going to call it nouveau pro wrestling.
Am I trying to win?
Hell yeah.
Is it scripted?
Hell no.
But most everything I do is with the entertainment value in mind.
That's who we're dealing with here.
Not a serious man.
And by the way, a thumbs up with a smile, not very original.
No, no.
It's pretty fucking stupid.
I don't really know what else he could do while he's being put in a fucking reverse some shit,
choke, whatever the hell I would imagine he would say.
It's just fucking dumb.
You don't have a lot of time to really sign out a very specific message to anybody.
Listen, if NFL players can be creative with their fucking end zone dance, this asshole,
if he wants to make it part of his career, better figure it the fuck out.
If someone's trying to choke you, how do you get up and do a choreographed dance?
That would be very difficult.
Pull a Sharpie out of your sock and sign the mat.
I don't think that's going to fly.
You could do that.
Sign the mat while you're on it.
I would like that.
While your face is firmly planted against it.
You know what?
I would find that entertaining.
But I'd also think you were an idiot like this guy. When you got a guy in a
rear naked show, lick his fucking ear. I don't
know. Do something creative. That's creative.
That's a creative way to get out of that shit.
So April 28th, 2001.
He's in Phoenix, Arizona. Rage in
the Cage 27. Yeah, thank God he's cleared
out. He's not here now.
He fights Tommy
Laguans.
I don't know how the hell you say that.
It really doesn't fucking matter because this guy sucks.
Jason beats him silly.
Just silly with a TKO.
They stop it due to just pummeling in the first round.
Yeah, it's just he pummels him in the first round.
So now Jason's 2-0 as a pro.
So that's April.
He doesn't have another pro fight on the record until November of that year, 2001.
Let him heal.
Yeah, let him heal.
And September 11th happened there.
So he's going back here.
His first fight since the Towers fell, guys, is November 9th, 2001.
It's Underground Fight Club 4.
It's called.
He fights Chris Connolly.
Jason beats the living shit out of him because he hated the Spoon Man just pummels him and says you fucking whiny bastard i know he died and everybody
loves him now but holy fucking shit black hole son and spoon man what are you kidding me i don't
give a shit how many other good songs you have i don't care i don't care i don't care i just
remember the barbie on the rotisserie grill in Black Hole Sun. But after Soundgarden, Audioslave is the shit.
It is so great.
I don't care what your catalog is like.
You put Black Hole Sun and Spoon Man into the lexicon of American culture.
Go fuck yourself.
Go fuck yourself.
I don't give a shit.
Audioslave, fuck you.
Audioslave is so good. when i heard he died i said
someone must have finally got him for spoon man finally finally i've been waiting 20 fucking years
for somebody to hunt him down holy shit spoon man are you joking that's a song you're putting out
are you kidding me you're not dicking around on the tour bus, pal. There's fucking people buying an album based on this, you asshole.
That's hilarious.
Wow.
Okay, sorry.
So he beats Spoon Man here.
Unanimous decision.
Goes the distance with his dickhead.
Must have really wanted to lay it in extra.
He's 3-0 as a pro.
He gets some extra licks.
He's a couple extra shots.
He hated it.
He's like, Black Hole Sun sucks.
Gets stuck in your head and it sucks then, too.
November 11, 2001.
Did you hear when that is, Jimmy?
Two days?
That is two days later.
What?
Two days later.
He has 48 hours to prep for the next fight after going the distance.
The distance.
Yeah.
Fucking hell.
I feel like he didn't think he was going to go the distance in that first one here.
He's like, I'll book another one.
So, yeah, November 11th, he's fighting at Ultimate Pancration 1.
That pancration is the worst sounding thing.
It's the dumbest thing.
It sounds like something's wrong with your pancreas, and it's excreting bad things.
Does it make, is there, do they give a reason why they call it that?
I have no idea.
No idea.
It's just a company, Ultimate Pancration.
That's the name of the company, Pancration.
They call all their events Pancration.
I don't know what it is.
There's 11 dudes together, and that's all their names combining to create something.
We can't create anything.
It's an acronym, guys.
It's very complicated.
Very complicated acronym.
It's Peter Allen Norman.
Oh, no, it means something.
It does.
It's an acronym.
So this is at the Casino Morongo Events Center in Cabazon, California, which we drove back
and forth by and they had like Debbie Reynolds coming into town to meet and greet the old folks.
And who was the other one?
Not Debbie Reynolds.
It was the chick from I Dream of Jeannie.
Oh, Barbara Eden.
They had Barbara Eden coming in.
At least Debbie Reynolds fucking sings and shit.
That's hilarious.
I don't know if she's alive even, but I didn't know Barbara Eden was alive either.
Apparently she is.
She's going to put on a Jeannie outfit and pop out for other 80-year-old people.
For a place that has long lines for sales.
We don't even know what that was.
Dude, the Viagra's going to be pumping that night.
Think about it.
No, honey, I don't need the pill tonight.
I saw Barbara Eden.
I'm ready to rock and roll.
Some 80-year-old man.
In her fucking ample bush.
You could see it through her dress.
Huge.
Huge. We had to stop because you said
something hysterical in the fucking car and i puked all over my shirt laughing and we had to
stop and there was a long ass line at the outlets for we didn't know what so we walked over like
what's this line for and they're like the sale and turn around and look you can't even tell what
the fuck there's a shit and plastic it was like scrunchies and hair clips and shit.
And people were fighting over each other for it.
Women.
Women were fighting over each other for it.
That's all it was.
I saw Barbara Eden was here.
I thought maybe she was at this support.
I thought maybe Barbara Eden popped in.
They were like, who's Barbara Eden?
Why the fuck else would you guys want to fight for dollar scrunchies?
In the middle of the desert.
People drove for miles for this.
Hot as fuck outside, too.
Miles.
Hot as balls.
So they're here.
Cabazon, if you ever drive on the 10 to L.A. from anywhere, is the place with the dinosaurs.
Right.
That they filmed Pee Wee Herman at.
That's where they did Pee Wee Herman's big adventure, that part, when they're in the dinosaur.
It's that dinosaur.
He fights Brian Warren, who's a 6-foot, 185-pounder, 18 and 17 career.
Four and three coming into this fight is Brian Warren.
Jason wins with a submission with a rear naked choke in 3 minutes 15 seconds in round one.
So he's kicking some ass here.
He's 4 and 0 December 8, 2001.
This is within a month, under a month.
He is at the ISCF, which is the International Sport Combat Federation.
Oh, boy.
Battle at the Brewery, 2001, which, wow, that sounds wonderful.
Battle at the Brewery.
I don't know.
In 2001?
This is before craft beer was a big deal?
There was still some.
It was starting to become a thing.
Yeah, micro brews were starting to become a thing.
Douchy.
It's douchey, yeah.
What a fucking douchebag extravaganza.
Battle at the brewery.
It's in Atlanta, Georgia.
Atlanta, Georgia.
He fights Todd.
This guy needs a better nickname.
Todd Crazy T. Carney.
Yeah, there's no T in his name.
Oh, Todd, you say?
Yeah, Todd.
Okay, all right.
He's a thin-framed white guy is what he looks like.
I'm a fucking idiot.
Todd.
It's hard to make Todd tough, though.
Like, Todd's a crazy team.
Yeah.
That's not the way to do it.
6'3", 185 pounds.
He's a thin guy.
20 and 23 career records.
So he's a journeyman here.
Jason wins by submission in round two at 253 with rear naked choke again.
So he has mastered that hold, I feel like.
He wins the ISCF East
Coast Middleweight Championship.
That is very specific, that belt.
East Coast, middleweight, only of
this, but that's it.
It's like the jerk right here between
the erasers and right in
this general region. Anything between
the chicklets and the erasers.
That's what he's got. That's your belt.
So specific.
5-0 now.
March 30th, he fights at HFP1, which is Hitman Fighting Productions 1, which didn't last long.
Rumble on the Reservation.
Jesus. This is the...
Did they say one?
One.
This is the first one.
There was two.
That's the second one.
By my count, when the guys on the reservation got kicked out.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
This is number two.
The second rumble on the reservation.
But the first one that this company is putting on.
Yeah, gotcha.
Not in history.
Not in history.
It would be rumble on the reservation.
This is at least number two.
At least.
This is in Anza, California at another shitty casino in the middle of nowhere.
He fights Chell Sonnen this time, who's actually a known fighter and a badass and does commentary and everything else.
And this guy fought him?
This guy fought him in his sixth fight.
Fuck.
So he's pretty new here still, Jason is.
This is only Chell's second fight.
Wow.
So this was the beginning of their career.
He was 1-0 coming in.
They go the distance these two. It was actually a good fight, tough fight. Wow. So this was the beginning of their career. He was 1-0 coming in. They go the distance these
two. So it was actually a good fight, tough fight.
Jason loses. Of course he does.
The unanimous decision here. Yeah, he's going to lose to
good guys like that. He's now 5-1.
So now, he's
April 12, 2002.
Less than two weeks later. Again,
this is quick, man.
When you wonder when he's doing crazy shit later,
you're like, oh yeah, he gets hit in the head a lot within a two-week period.
That's what happened.
I get it now.
This is XP2, which is extreme pancreation 2.
Of course it is.
This was still in the period when everything that was spelled EX is just an X now because it's cool that way.
This is in LA.
It's like putting a Z on the end of words.
Exactly.
It's the same thing.
Exactly the same period.
I think it came – this came – the X came right after the Z.
Right after it.
Right after it.
Damn right.
This is in Los Angeles.
He fights Toby Imada, who's a 5'8", 145-pounder.
So that's small.
He's a tiny guy.
He's 30 and 18 career.
Goes the distance, though.
Wow.
Jason wins by split decision, so he must have been a tough little shit.
He's 6 and1 here, Jason
is. Going to July 13,
2002, just trying to buzz through his
rally fights before it gets crazy.
July 13, 2002, RFC1,
which is Revolution Fighting Championships.
God, these fucking names and these
acronyms drive me nuts.
Stardust Casino
in Vegas. He fights
Phil Ensminger. I don't know who. He fights Phil Ensminger.
I don't know who that is.
Phil Ensminger.
He is 5'8", 180 pounds, a 2-5 career record, and this is his last fight.
That's a fat fucker.
I'll give you a fucking hint how he did since this is his last fight in a 2-5 career.
They couldn't find a way to fucking give Ensminger a nickname?
Nope.
That's it.
Just Phil.
Phil who should quit fighting right about, I don don't know now that someone looks at their watch
retired how about retired phil why don't we go with that phil who quit last week anybody named
phil should not be fighting in anything that's professional has there ever been a professional
fighter that was a champion named Phil?
Not that I can think of off the top of my head.
It's possible.
Fucking Phil.
I can't think of any of them here.
It's your uncle.
That's not a fighter.
Phil.
Phil is only a fighter when he's drunk at Thanksgiving and calls Aunt Margie a twat.
Yeah, and he's Phil's.
Phil's a total dick, and he's now in a fight with Uncle Todd, who's not tough.
But he goes by Crazy T, which is super weird.
Right?
It's so very strange.
Retired Phil gets in a fight with Crazy T over calling Aunt Margie a twat.
Unbelievable.
The wait is over.
So far, you're not losing.
The only thing you're losing is my patience.
Quickly,
I see that. Ding! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know
the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything.
I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone.
Okay, so, um... This is not a so. This is a period.
Classic Judy.
Did you sleep with her?
Yes, Your Honor.
You married his cousin.
His brother.
That's not him.
Yes, ma'am.
I would make a beeline for the door.
The Emmy Award-winning series returns.
How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an-winning series returns. How do I know that have
crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season. It's
streaming you can say anything.
Judy justice only on free.
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And now back to the show.
Jason retires, Phil, here.
He retires in the first round.
This guy's last professional act as a fighter
was to submit from a triangle choke
at 3 minutes and 23 seconds in round one.
Jason is 7- one at this point.
In round one?
Round one.
Right to it.
Come here, asshole.
Now go retire.
Come here, Phil.
So seven and one for Jason.
I'm going to go put my cable in.
He starts to get crazy at this point here.
Kind of starts to get-
Losing his mind a smidge?
No, starts to get like, starts to become a showman a little more.
In the ring, he's always doing the thumbs up shit and all that crazy shit.
But now he starts thinking about the presentation of it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You've got to have presentation.
I think he's realizing that the thumbs up was a stupid fucking choice.
Oh, no, he does that forever.
What?
He does that when he's in.
Does he think he has Johnny fucking Cage?
Spoiler alert, he'll be in UFC later and he'll do it then.
Really?
He's a jackass.
He's just a jackass. He starts, he'll have a hockey later and he'll do it then. Really? He's a jackass. He's just a jackass.
He starts, he'll have a hockey mask on sometimes when he comes to the ring, which unless you're
going to do it full Lee Murray style, go fuck yourself.
Because Lee Murray looked cool coming to the ring.
He had like a prisoner outfit with a Hannibal Lecter mask on.
That's the fucking way you come to the ring.
Unless you're coming with a machete and you actually stab that fucker, leave that hockey
mask back in the locker room. Yeah. He'd bring a sword with him come to the ring. Unless you're coming with a machete and you actually stab that fucker. Leave that hockey mask back in the locker room.
He'd bring a sword with him sometimes to the ring.
I don't think he took it in the ring, but he'd bring a sword to the ring.
What is that about?
Like a lunatic.
His post-fight celebration is him acting like a monkey,
flailing his arms around because he calls his fans mayhem monkeys.
Oh, God, Jesus.
He's trying to make a brand of i'm crazy guy mma fighter like
we'll have it's listen to this quote here let's do this he'll tell you exactly what he's doing
in their own words quote i'd rather not win than be boring i think the promoters respect that on
top of that i have no fear whatsoever of getting into the ring no nervousness so it allows me to
act a fool during a press conference act a fool fool when I'm cutting weight. I don't
care. I think at the very least
I'm entertaining, regardless of whether you like me
or not. Fair, but
he's being a wrestler. I don't even care if I
win or lose, because they'll keep booking me because
people want to watch me because I jump around like an
asshole. He's essentially Puck on the real world,
eating cereal with his fingers.
And I feel like that's another place he got
this. He was like a big puck guy.
He's like, yeah, make fun of that guy for having AIDS.
Fuck him.
I think that's what he did, like watching real world.
But he's got millions of dollars, so let's not bother with him.
Exactly.
I'll be exactly like him.
No, let's not be like puck.
I think puck ruined a lot.
How many dickheads did you know in school that you could attribute directly to puck?
Directly to puck.
Directly to Puck.
Wherever Puck is, find him and kick him right in the dick, please. Right in the dick.
We all thought it was funny that he was a douche.
He's probably homeless. There are
50 million of those assholes walking around right now
that are just like Puck that all need to be
kicked in the dick. And a lot of them are comedians.
Find your local Puck and kick him in the dick.
Just go to an open mic. You'll find one.
Everyone who goes up on stage goes, Puck, kick kick him in the dick. Just go to an open mic. You'll find one. To everyone who goes up on stage, go, did you watch The Real World?
Puck, kick him right in the dick.
If he goes, yeah, he was funny, boom, right in the dick.
Shove his sack into his throat, for sure.
Please.
And if you don't know what we're talking about, then you're too young to understand that.
And you're probably born after that aired, so never mind.
But I guarantee you, if you've seen any reality TV, that motherfucker started it.
You know what The real world is?
He's the reason.
He was the original scumbag in the house that constantly made fun of a guy who died of AIDS.
That was basically it.
Some poor, nice guy who died of AIDS.
He'd call him gay slurs, which is because he was gay.
Still no reason to call him, throw slurs at him.
Especially when you live in San Francisco.
You're in the wrong town.
And he's eating cereal out of a cereal bowl with his fingers because there was no clean
– no, no, there were clean spoons.
He just – he chose that this is the proper way.
Because he's so cool, yeah.
To just jam cereal into your mouth.
I just don't care, man.
It's just cool.
I wear shorts that are dirty and rips.
I don't care, man.
I just got to wear boots.
Yeah, I got a car.
I'll ride my skateboard.
I'll ride my skateboard to my delivery job because I like to yell at cars
who don't let me through. I'm like, hey, fuck you, buddy.
I'm skating through here, man. Fuck you, buddy.
And then he drops F-bombs at everybody. Yeah, that's it.
Even if they're straight. He doesn't care. He was a bicycle messenger.
He calls everybody a fag.
He does. So August 10, 2002,
Underground Fight Club 6,
Birmingham, Alabama.
Oh, boy. Oh, my God. Birmingham.
Jimmy, imagine. Jesus. Oh, God. The gl my God. Birmingham. Jimmy, imagine. Jesus.
Oh, God.
The glitz, the glamour.
So many shaved heads on purpose.
The Birmingham.
He's fighting Scott Forrester.
He wins by unanimous decision.
Jason does.
Goes to 8-1.
Six days later, he's fighting.
Oh, boy.
Too soon, you think?
It's a little too soon here because that was a unanimous decision.
Again, he fought the distance and then fought again.
This is ISCF, which is International Combat Sport Federation or Sport Combat Federation.
This is in Atlanta.
He fights Todd Crazy T. Carney again.
It's a rematch with old Crazy T. Carney.
But this time he's a little tired from fighting six days ago and loses in round one.
One minute, 32 seconds in, two with a guillotine choke oh shit quickness
yeah uh goes to eight and two here so crazy the revenge of crazy t he's back we were a little
early picking on old crazy t todd's tougher than we gave him credit for he is uh so he takes some
time off here doesn't fight again until february uh yeah let the bruises on his brain heal calm
down here a little bit maybe i need to to chill out. Maybe train a little more, possibly.
Because he's still, that was only his 10th fight, professionally.
Or 30th, if you listen to him.
Either one.
February 1st, 2003.
It's FFP, which is February Fight Party.
Holiday Night, Holiday Fight Party in Atlanta.
Holiday?
What holiday is on February 1st?
I don't know.
In anticipation of
Valentine's Day. They can't wait for President's Day.
Psyched about Washington's birthday passing already?
No, no. It's coming.
It's coming? I thought it was in January. No, it's my
birthday, actually. February 22nd.
Okay, that makes sense then.
And fucking Lincoln's
birthday is right around the corner, too, on the 12th.
That's right there, man. President's Day.
Jason wins this fight, actually, against Carney. Gets his revenge.
So now he's 2-1 against
Crazy T. He's going to go join
that party. TKO in round one.
Two minutes and 31 seconds. He got
pissed off. Had a few months to think about it.
Came in and whooped some ass. I like it. 9-2 now.
So we go to February 23rd
2003 because he's going to fight three weeks
later though. He's going to keep doing it.
This is EC50 Extreme Extreme Challenge 50, in Salt Lake City at the Salterre Pavilion versus
Dennis Kang, which is an awful name.
Dennis with one N, Kang.
That is a terrible fucking name, these people.
Jesus.
He's 5'11", 185, 35 and 16 career record.
So this is a guy that's experienced kind of guy.
35-16.
It's a respectable record.
Jason doesn't respect shit.
He goes in there in round two and wins by submission with a rear naked choke at a minute 41 in that round.
That's his move.
That's his move.
He wins the majority of his fights by that.
He's 10-2.
He fights the same night.
This is some kind of tournament thing.
This is crazy.
You cannot do that.
I don't like that at all. That's not healthy.
No, and what ends up happening here, he fights Tim Kennedy, who's 5'11", 185
also, 18-6 career fighter.
This is his fifth fight, Tim
Kennedy. He's a 3-1 fighter
coming into the fight. Jason loses a
unanimous decision to him again.
A pattern. If you fight too
soon, you lose. This guy does anyway. He needs to get his strength back up again. A distance. A pattern. If you fight too soon, you lose.
This guy does anyway.
He needs to get his strength back up again.
So now he's 10-3, making stupid choices.
June 13, 2003 at SB30 Collision Course.
Jesus.
Icon Sport.
That's a long name.
Yeah.
Collision Course Icon Sport.
This is in Honolulu, Hawaii.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
I'll go fight over there.
Fuck yes.
Yeah, you don't even have to. Just fly me in. It's a vacation. And then you can punch me in the face. I'll be fine with that. Letulu, Hawaii. Beautiful. Beautiful. I'll go fight over there. Fuck yes. Yeah, you don't even have to.
Just fly me in.
It's a vacation.
And then you can punch me in the face.
I'll be fine with that.
Let's do it.
Fine.
I'll spend it in a beautiful hospital room.
It's going to be great.
With amazing waitresses.
No, they're called nurses.
They're called, yes.
They're definitely not waitresses.
With amazing nurses.
They are trained in medical care.
I don't think they're nurses.
Yeah, with amazing tans. Oh, forget it. The people of Hawaii look incredible. They'll bring it to care. I don't think they're nurses. Yeah, with amazing tans.
Oh, forget it.
The people of Hawaii look incredible.
But if you ask for something to drink, they'll bring it to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With a straw and everything.
That's amazing, by the way.
That's great.
Imagine if you asked a waitress, you know, to-
To dress your wounds?
To dress your wound or to draw some blood.
To give you an IV?
They'd think you were crazy.
These people can do it all.
These girls can do it all.
Fucking servers.
And they'll wipe your ass, too.
You suck, servers.
I want my blood drawn and my ass wiped when I go to a restaurant.
And then they want money.
Waitresses expect 20%.
You didn't even give me an IV drip.
I'll have a glass of the Cabernet.
I'll have the calamari appetizer.
And could you please give at least if I need to give a pint of blood, please take it out of my arm.
Would you please give at least if I need to give a pint of blood, please take it out of my arm.
So he fights Jason J. Buck, who is a 14 and 13 career fighter.
It's very average, excessively average and mediocre.
This, by the way, match, spoiler alert, Jason beats this guy.
This match starts a run of six straight losses for J. Buck.
So this is the beginning of the end here for his career.
Miller wins by decision.
They go all the way to a decision again.
He wins by split decision, not even unanimous.
He's 11-3 now, going to August 23, 2003.
He fights in the Pit Fighting Championship, Put Up or Shut Up is the name of it, in California.
Wow. I mean, you don't have to say that at the end.
No. Why Put Up or Shut Up? Put Up or Shut Up is the name of it in California. Wow. I mean, you don't have to say that at the end. No.
Why put up or shut up?
Put up or shut up is the name of it.
Because it's kind of insinuated in the fact that you're fucking fighting.
I feel like there's one guy who has to name all of these stupid events for all the different
companies.
They call him and they're like, Jim, we need a name.
He's like, fuck, put up or shut up for this one.
Yeah, that's fine.
I don't know.
Whose face is getting broken now?
Let's give that to them over there.
So he fights Mark Longworth, who's fine. I don't know whose face is getting broken now. Let's give that to them over there. So he fights
Mark Longworth, who's 5'10",
185. This is his first pro
fight, Mark Longworth. He's a
one-in-three career fighter, total, is
what his whole career is. Hint,
this isn't the win. Let's just say that.
This isn't the win. Jason wins
in round one with a rear naked choke.
I love when it's like under five fights
before they realize this is not going to go well. had three three strikes i'm out one and three see
you later a bad idea why did i choose this he got choked out in his first fight in the first round
that should have been it right there uh jason's 12 and three he's fine okay september 20th, 2003, Super Brawl 31, Icon Sport.
In Hawaii again, he's fighting Sean Tornado Taylor.
Yeah.
Who's 5'11", 181, with an 0-7 career record.
0-7.
Oh, Christ.
So I don't have to tell you the result of this.
How do you get to 0-5 and be like, I'm going to stick it out?
This is his third fight.
This should have been it again.
in five and be like, I'm going to stick it out.
This is his third fight. This should have been it again. It still takes
Jason almost
all the way through the second round to beat him
though. He's
332 in the second round with a triangle
choke. Maybe that's what it is.
He gets to like five losses and he's like, but I
took to the third
round every time. Also, I
bet not just a speculation
because they don't have a lot of these early fights
on the video or anything, but I feel like
he probably said, I can beat this guy
easy. I'm going to fuck around.
I'm going to jump around. I'm going to mug for the people.
I'm going to act like a monkey.
I'm going to Hulk up.
You know what I mean? I'm going to do all this shit.
I'm going to do the old, what has two thumbs
and likes blowjobs in the ring.
He's doing the Ric Flair strut.
He's got like everything.
He's doing all his favorite little wrestler moves.
Fucking jerk.
Yeah, he's doing the Randy Macho Man Savage hands in the air.
He's got the whole thing with his fingers up.
Fingers up.
Fingers up.
So, yeah, there we go on to December 5th, 2003.
Fucking rain dancing.
Oh, you know it.
Who was that?
Ultimate Warrior.
Ultimate Warrior.
Yeah, shaking the ropes.
The whole deal.
I guarantee he would do some Ultimate Warrior shit.
He seems like it would be right up his alley.
December 5th, 2003, SB32.
So now he's doing consecutive super brawls.
No name for this one, just 32.
They gave up on Icon Sport.
In Honolulu again, he fights Egan Inouye.
He's a 5'9", 190-pounder with a 13-8 career record.
This is his second-to-last fight, this guy, so he's on his way out of the business.
Jason wins at the end of the second again, but with a TKO stoppage.
He puddles him.
That's fucking convincing.
I feel like he was jumping around, doing some island shit, dancing, acting like a hula, and then he does this.
14-3 career.
October 16, 2004.
Long layoff there.
Again, he fights SB37 in Hawaii.
This is for the Super Brawl Welterweight title.
He's going for a belt.
He's about to be a champion.
About to be a champion.
He fights Ronald Machine Gun Heun.
Heun.
What?
Heun, I want to say.
Why?
J-H-U-N.
June, but it's June probably.
I don't know.
Jun.
Either way, there's no...
Oh, I got it.
It's Jun because Machine Gun.
Machine Gun Jun.
I'm trying to figure out what the fuck is with the name.
Where did Machine Gun come from?
Yeah.
Ronald Machine Gun Jun, who's a 24 and 26 career record.
He had to throw that machine gun in there to get people to pronounce that shit right.
That's exactly right.
Because they were like, Ronald June, it's Jun.
What do I got to do to get you fuckers to say Jun?
Well, the only thing machine gun about him is losses.
That's just spraying losses out into the world.
This is, he lost 15 of his last 18 fights, this guy.
Gotcha.
I think that's time to hang it up.
This is the second of those 18 fights here, of those last 18 fights.
Jason wins by, they call it a technical submission.
I don't know what the, I don't know if the ref stopped it.
I don't know what happened.
But with an arm triangle choke in the second round.
Is that maybe passed out?
Is that how it works?
He doesn't tap if he just goes to sleep.
Is that a technical submission?
That's submitting like a motherfucker.
He submitted, not voluntarily, but technically he submitted, I would say.
At that point.
I'm going to say it's technically a submission.
Technically it's rape when the girls were not conscious when Cosby got them.
That's still rape.
That's still rape.
Just because they weren't actively going, no, don't rape me, that doesn't mean it wasn't
rape.
Yeah, exactly.
Good point.
Good point.
There we go.
So November 20th, 2004, about a month later, he's at the ISCF domination at the DAC in
Atlanta, at the DAC, whatever that is, versus Joshua Hancock, who's a non-linker that doesn't matter at all.
And this goes the distance.
Jesus, with a non-linker?
Going the distance with a non-goddamn linker that I could find very little information about.
If I can't find shit about you, you didn't do very much.
I find a guy who's 1-3 his whole damn career and quits right away.
He got a picture of him and everything.
God damn it, you bet your ass.
16-3 record here so far for Jason.
April 16, 2005.
Okay, this is when shit gets serious.
Really?
This is when shit gets serious.
None of this domination at the DAC, non-linker bullshit.
Right.
Now he's fighting in the UFC.
Okay.
He signs with the UFC.
His antics are very well liked by the UFC.
Because he's winning fights
and he's a crazy son of a bitch
that people would want to watch.
He's compelling television.
I will say that for the guy.
Guys in white sunglasses love him.
Oh my God, they love him so much.
They're showering him in monster energy drink.
Guys with little people peeing on something else
on a sticker on their back truck window.
Love this guy.
Love it.
Calvin pissing.
That's hilarious.
They put Calvin pissing on their least favorite football team, and they put their white sunglasses
on, and they ride off into the sunset.
How embarrassing.
I used to have one of those.
Did you really?
What were you pissing on?
The Raiders, wasn't it?
Of course it was.
I knew it.
Oh, my God.
I fucking knew it.
I was like 16. You could just look at someone in a truck with a pissing on the Raiders and go't it? Of course it was. I knew it. Oh, my God. I fucking knew it. I was like 16.
You could just look at someone in a truck with a pissing on the Raiders and go, that
guy's white.
That's one thing.
You don't even have to.
I bet you he's not Mexican.
I'll just say that.
I stopped putting stickers on my car because any sticker on a car, you can look at it and
take so much knowing about the person.
And that right there, just piss.
Piss a lot. Picks a lot.
Picks a lot away.
Any Calvin pissing on the Raiders, it kind of has a racial undertone at the same time as fuck the Raiders.
Yeah, you know it's what.
And that's why I was just like, this doesn't represent what I am or what I want to fucking.
You're kind of saying, I don't care for Mexicans.
Right.
Not saying I hate them.
I don't really care for them.
Not a fan.
Not a fan. Meanwhile, I'm married to one and have kids that Mexicans. Right. I'm not saying I hate them. I don't really care for them. You're not a fan. I'm not a fan.
That's what you're saying.
Meanwhile, I'm married to one and have kids that are Mexican.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
But you're pissing on the whole thing.
So it kind of doesn't reflect who you are.
If it doesn't reflect who you are, don't put it on your fucking car, asshole.
That's a really good second for everyone to see as soon as they see you.
Right.
And then they look inside and go, who's this douchebag?
And you look over with your white sunglasses on and then what happens?
That's exactly what I pictured.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Just what I thought.
Just what I thought.
Calvin.
I completely forgot about those stickers.
That's hysterical.
You don't see them very often anymore, thankfully.
Thank God.
People still put fresh ones on, too.
Of course.
I see ones that are clean that you can tell haven't been on there for five years or anything.
There's no cracks in it or anything.
No bubbles.
They had their credit card and they really smoothed it out.
They put fucking soapy water on that first.
You know they did.
They're doing it as they're doing it and straightening it out.
It's almost done.
They're like, this is going to be great.
This is going to be great.
Calvin looks great.
They're all going to know, man.
So sweet.
They're all going to know.
Mayhem comes to the UFCfc on april 16 2005 it's ufc 52 uh couture versus liddell 2 yeah so
those are two very famous fighters that's the main event of this it's at the mgm grand in las vegas
this is the second time they fought this is the second time for those guys mgm grand in vegas way
far away from uh you know birmingham alabama or a parking lot in Virginia Beach, which is about the most white trash place I could think of.
That's extremely hillbilly.
If you have a beef with your neighbor in rural West Virginia, you guys should drive down to Virginia Beach and settle it there.
Just do that.
In the white trash fight club.
So he fights George.
Is it George's St. Pierre?
Oh, it's George St. Pierre.
But why does he have an S on his name?
I know it's George, but why the S?
He's French as fuck.
I guess Jacques, there's still an S on the end.
All right, fine, George.
Yeah, George St. Pierre.
GSP.
That's what they called him.
Yeah, that I knew.
He was my favorite fighter.
I loved him.
Well, he fights him.
He's a 5'11", 170 pounder.
He's a 25 and 2 career fighter, this Pierre. The guy's an animal. He's a 5'11", 170 pounder. He's a 25 and 2 career fighter.
The guy's an animal.
He is an animal.
Maybe the best pound per pound.
Pound per pound.
Pound per pound?
There's no F's in there whatsoever.
Pound for pound fighter at the time of any fucking sport.
He was amazing.
Well, shit.
Jason has a tough time with him, but he hangs.
He hangs tight with him.
It's a good fight.
This is a good fight.
Jason goes the distance.
Really?
I may have watched this fucking fight.
I'll bet I did.
You probably did.
Yeah, you might have.
You would have enjoyed watching Jason's crazy antics here.
But he loses by unanimous decision.
He loses to George St. Pierre because he's just a better fighter.
He's 16-4 right now.
But going the distance against a really respected fighter is a good way to
debut in the UFC.
It really is.
So, I mean, he doesn't make a fool of himself.
He doesn't get submitted in a minute and a half or anything like that.
Tough stuff.
This was in 05, so this is GSP's climb to the top, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, this isn't, he wasn't done already.
He's not a champ yet.
He was going up kicking ass at this point.
Next fight is July 23rd, so just a couple months later.
It's Super Brawl Icon in Honolulu, so he's back there after doing a UFC fight.
That's interesting.
He'll go back and forth.
He wins the Super Brawl North American Welterweight title.
Wow.
Again, a super specific title.
Yeah, North American.
Very targeted titles here.
In Hawaii, he wins the North American title.
Which isn't even in North America.
God, no. Makes no sense.
None of this makes any sense.
He fights Mark Moreno, who's a
12-10 career fighter. I don't know how the hell
he had a chance at this belt.
5'9", 175
pounder. Jason wins
in the first round, submits him with
an arm bar, his first arm bar victory
in 4 minutes and 54 seconds.
So just got it in there. Goes to
17 and 4. Not too shabby.
October 28,
2005, he moves up to
185 pounds. Now he's going to
fight a different weight class.
185. Remember that number, by the way.
185 for a weigh-in that he has later
on where he is not even close to 185.
It's not even close.
I love it.
He must vacate the welterweight title to move up.
So he does that, moves up.
Fights at Icon Sport Opposites Attract is the name of this particular event in Hawaii again.
He's in Hawaii a little bit too much.
And he's not going to be there for very long, and we'll find out why after this fight, okay?
He fights here.
It's against Faloniko Vitale.
He's a 5'10", 185-pounder with a 30-11 career record.
Very respectable.
Jason wins with a rear naked choke in round two
at 2 minutes and 41 seconds.
That's his go-to.
Yeah, he gets you behind you.
He's basically, that's his way of kind of slipping it in a little bit.
He's like, I'm going to get you good.
You like that?
There it is.
And he got you.
Deal with it.
He's 18 and 4.
December of 2005.
Okay, now he starts to get a little loopy.
Yeah.
He's kept it in the ring so far.
He's picked scabs at Subway.
Gross.
You know, he's done shit like that.
I'm sure the cops have, you know, picked him up and released him and things of that nature because he's a crazy son of a bitch.
But now he really starts lashing out at the world and acting like a fucking loon in general, as we'll find out.
Which is good for us.
Great for us, bad for society in general, especially of an ex-girlfriend of his in Hawaii.
Oh, fuck.
especially of an ex-girlfriend of his in Hawaii.
Oh, fuck.
Where he was arrested after he broke her door down, knocked it off the hinges, went into her apartment.
By the way, in the middle of the night, he knocked the door off the hinges and assaulted
her new boyfriend.
Wow.
So that's nice.
He literally comes in.
This poor guy.
Wait, holy shit.
The new boyfriend just started dating this girl.
Everything's great.
He's in Hawaii sleeping in some girl's apartment.
What the fuck led up to this?
Next thing you know, some maniac is blowing the door off the hinges with a kick and pummeling you while you're trying to sleep in the bed.
He rear naked choked the door to get to you.
Yeah.
This is fucking bananas.
It's fucking crazy, man.
He goes in there, assaults him.
He's charged with first degree burglary and he faces
10 years in prison whoa with this because you can't yeah burst into people's places and start
assaulting them that's generally not okay didn't even invite him in and so what so he got charged
with first degree burglary so what did he take i wonder who know i mean burglary i don't know he
could have taken anything he could have taken a he could have grabbed a car key it doesn't matter
yeah you can't drive now or some shit.
He claims, Jason here, mayhem, claims that he didn't assault the boyfriend.
He said that the only reason he was even there for so long is because the guy kept holding him back.
Really?
He was trying to leave.
The door held you back first of all, sir.
But there's a reason for that, though.
He was trying to leave when he found out that, see, his thing was, he's like, look, man, I was only kicked the door down because I was concerned for her safety.
You see, it was the middle of the night and I knocked on the door for 25 minutes.
Jesus.
I knocked and banged and kicked on the door for 25 minutes and she didn't answer.
So rather than think that we broke up and she doesn't want anything to do with me in
the middle of the night, I thought she must be in physical harm.
Absolutely.
So I busted in and assaulted the man she was sleeping with instead.
And when he was holding him back, it was probably for the cops to arrive.
Right.
You fucking asshole.
But out of all this, he gets acquitted.
What?
He gets acquitted.
They bought that.
Wow.
That's his for real story? I thought you were fucking with me right now this is not a that's his story bullshit his story was
i knocked on the door for 25 minutes which the girlfriend backs up because they were trying to
ignore him because he's a psychopath knocking on the door and it's in the middle of the night
nothing to do with him obviously exactly in in she's movedidenced by her new boyfriend in the fucking house.
So he goes in, busts down
the door. He said, I was just checking on her safety.
Meanwhile, he went in like a psychopath
screaming and yelling, who the fuck are you in here with?
Beating people up and then trying to leave.
She was safe.
Evidenced by her screams and throws of
passion screaming, yes, give it to me.
I figured I'd beat the guy up in case he was
hurting her. Said he must be up in case he was hurting her.
Said he must be hurting her.
Yeah.
Must be hurting her.
So that's fine.
He does that.
That says that little mess.
Comes back to the States after that, or the continental US, I should say. Not going to be back there for a while.
No, let's stay out of Hawaii.
So he's having some trouble here after that, because that was kind of a highly publicized
thing where he was, because the islands are small.
And if you're doing anything of any note on the island and you break people's doors down
and beat them up, it gets around.
You made toothpicks out of a door.
That's bananas.
Shit gets around.
I'm not.
He has to fight this weird fight.
He fights.
This is Icon Sport.
It's May 26, 2006.
Icon Sport, Mayhem versus Giant.
Okay.
He's in the main event.
This is in Hawaii.
This is right before he leaves.
He fights Stefan Gamlin, who is a 0-3 career fighter.
Right.
He's 6'7", 362 pounds.
How is that man 0-3?
He's 0-3.
How does he lose?
He gets beat by everybody.
He's a terrible fighter.
He's a big plotting shit, this guy.
He's awful.
That big, though?
How do you fucking lose? He's a fucking monster. It's a big plotting shit, this guy. He's awful. That big, though? How do you fucking lose?
He's a fucking monster.
It's hilarious to watch him in there.
Jason wins in 46 seconds.
Wow.
46 seconds with a triangle choke.
Holy shit.
Just enough time for the guy to get close enough to him to choke him.
He just climbed on his back.
He climbed that tree.
Good grief.
Climbed the tree, got him, and this guy was just...
You picture him very much like...
He must have some tiny fucking arms like a T-Rex and couldn't bat him off.
I think so.
Just big, slow swats like King Kong in a helicopter.
Just doing that.
So he's 19 and 4.
That fight somehow counts as a professional fight.
I don't understand how.
So if someone gives me $10 to punch you in the face, I'm 1 and 0 now?
Is that how that works?
I'm a professional fighter? You got paid. That. Is that how that works? I'm a professional fighter.
You got paid.
That's professions.
All right.
Good enough for me.
I'm in.
July 22, 2006 is WFA4, which is World Fighting Alliance.
King of the Streets.
Yes.
That's the title.
Do they fight on the street?
Of course not.
Fuck this thing.
Not King of the Streets.
They bring them in like it's the
tournament no holds barred. Right.
They're bringing in guys to fight Hulk Hogan.
Like it's the Eagles pulling in fucking
people trying out. That's the king
of the street. Not you, you asshole.
You aren't even on the streets. You're a fucking professional
fighter. This is not the streets
specifically. That's why people are coming
here. Right. This is a goddamn UFC
ring. It's a goddamn UFC ring.
It's a fucking fighting ring. This is not a street. Matter of fact,
it's so not the street, it's in the Great Western
Forum in LA where the Lakers won like
five championships. That's where it is.
Trevor Burbick is the king of the streets.
He's the king of the streets. If you will jump off a car
and... That was Larry Holmes. Larry Holmes
is the king of the streets. Larry Holmes did it to him, right?
Yeah, Larry Holmes is pissed and attacking him.
That's the king of the streets. You're did it to him, right? Yeah, Larry Holmes is pissed and attacking him. That's the king of the street. Yeah.
You're going to fly off the fucking car in a flying kick.
King of the street.
That's the king of the street. Especially if you're 6'5", 250, and heavyweight champ of the world.
It makes it even better.
So he's at the Great Western Forum.
He fights Lodun, the vanilla gorilla, Sincade.
The vanilla gorilla.
Vanilla gorilla.
I hate him already.
Don't you want to punch him right in the face?
Don't you hope he loses?
How do you hope he loses, Jimmy?
What do you hope he happens to?
By fire.
By fire?
I hope he sets him on fire in the ring.
I hope he brings a fucking flamethrower to the ring.
If it was really King of the Streets, it would be allowed.
You'd be stabbing him with a broken bottle.
That would be allowed.
But instead, rear naked choke at 429 in round one. So we'll just we'll just go he should have been able to disembowel him with that samurai
sword yeah that would have been better that would have been nice to keep his mask on oh terrible uh
20 and 4 for jason at this point uh the vanilla gorilla was 15 and 9 career so not a great career
for him good he doesn't deserve it with that fucking stupid fucking name what a racial racially charged
name yeah it's so dumb right isn't that funny call yourself white power and he's 5'9 185 you're
not even a gorilla no that's not a gorilla you're a vanilla chimpanzee i was gonna say what are the
what the hell those little tiny ones the little ones it's a chimpanzee no at the zoo lemur not a
lemur that's not even a monkey spider monkey. Yeah, at the zoo they have them.
You can walk through and they run in front of you and shit.
They're so fucking harmless, you could kick one.
And as much as they're cute and shit, you want to kick it so bad.
I don't know why you want to kick it, but you want to.
I never hurt animals.
I love animals, but there's this little thing you just want to go,
I wonder how far I can really get them to go.
Probably pretty far.
It's actually a psychosis. It's called that cute rage i think is what it's called
it's not even rage something is so cute you just want to fucking hurt it just looks fun
i just want to see how far i can get it poof will he fly it'll be adorable as it flies what are the
aerodynamics of this thing i want to know is it gonna slow it down ah you little fucker yeah
never mind it's not worth it I'll end up hurting my foot.
I'll get in trouble at the zoo.
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So this all brings us to September 2nd, 2006.
Okay.
Icon Sport Mayhem versus Lawler.
Not Jerry the King Lawler.
Okay.
Different guy in Hawaii.
Every time Lawler comes up, we mention that guy.
Have to.
He's the number one Lawler that I can think of.
This is Ruthless Robbie Lawler.
Okay.
He's 5'11", 170, 28-11 career record.
He's still fighting now, actually.
He's still active.
11-170, 28-11 career record.
He's still fighting now, actually.
He's still active.
Jason wins this fight in the third round at 250 with an arm triangle choke.
He's 21-4.
This wins him the Icon Sport Super Middleweight Championship.
All right.
He's a champion.
He's a champion again.
So he's got some belts. At this point here, he starts—people do interviews with him, and he's just nuts.
Like, there's this interview where this guy does an interview with him over the phone.
Yeah.
And he calls him, or Jason Miller calls him, and the guy answers the phone.
And instead of him saying hello, he just plays a song for like three minutes.
What?
Just a song.
It was Booker T and the MGs.
No, it was Booker T and the MGs, like an old soul song.
Yeah.
He plays that, and then he starts talking like it never happened.
Like, all right, hey, what's up, dude?
And the guy's like, what the fuck did you just play me?
And Miller says his quote is, it's called Green Onions.
Dude, it's a kick-ass song.
Who gives a fuck what it's called?
He doesn't even know.
He's just like, I don't know.
I just figured I'd play it for you for three fucking minutes.
He doesn't even know the name of it.
He doesn't know.
He just played it.
What the hell does he know?
He says that he just likes to keep people guessing.
This is what I mean when he thinks he's funny.
And this quote annoys the shit out of me.
If you're not bright enough to get my humor, then it's your fault.
I think it's hilarious when people hate me or people don't get what I'm doing or don't get what I'm saying.
To me, that is even more satisfying than the people who get it.
And this is a radio interview.
This is just on the phone.
A reporter called him for an interview, and this is what he's telling the guy.
But this is what I'm saying.
He's just stupid.
He's just an asshole.
You're not funny.
They're bright enough to get my humor.
Calling someone and having them answer who's doing a professional thing and having you play a song for three minutes that you don't even know the fucking name of isn't funny.
That's just stupid.
That's just, you're an annoying asshole.
He's the type of guy that would be fun to hang out with for an hour.
Right.
An hour.
And then you'd be like, I gotta get the fuck out of here.
And also, too, maybe the reporter, if he had any balls, he'd be like, no, no, I get what
you're doing.
I don't know why.
I don't get it.
I just don't get you.
No, no, I'm on board.
It's fucking dumb. That's what it is. You're an you. No, no. I'm on board. It's fucking dumb.
You're an idiot. See, that's what it is.
You're an asshole. I got shit to do and you're wasting my time.
When dumb people think they're smart,
it's annoying. But when dumb people think they're funny,
it's ten times worse. I'd rather just go back
to thinking you're smart. Please.
Yeah, dumb people. God damn it.
Please. Dumb people who think they're funny
are the worst fucking people ever.
Worst people. God damn it. No doubt.
Fucking die, all of you.
So, December 1st, 2006, Icon Sport, Mayhem vs. Trigg.
So he's in the main event here again.
He fights Frank Twinkle Toes Trigg, which is an odd name for a fighter.
You've got to really be tough to pull off Twinkle Toes as your nickname.
He's 5'8", 181, 21-9 career record.
This fight goes two rounds.
This fight is stopped in the second round due to kicks.
Jason loses.
The fight's called off against the TKO for him being pummeled with kicks.
All right.
I picture a Chun-Li kick, I figure.
Some Liu Kang bicycle kick to the chest.
Yeah, something like that.
The Ryu upside-down spin.
Yeah, something.
Something repeatedly.
Sorry, I just downloaded Street Fighter 2, like the old version on PS3, and it's fucking
great.
It's just like it.
I love it.
I got Mortal Kombat.
Cool.
The new one.
The XL, I think it's called.
Yeah.
It's fucking incredible.
It has Jason.
The fucking, the serial.
Yeah, cool, cool.
It has Jason and Alien and so many amazing, it's so fun.
This is great.
I downloaded it.
It was like $10.
I was like, I will play this forever for $10.
Greatest value ever for Street Fighter.
Much better deal than I got.
What a steal.
What a steal.
I think we paid $60 for this shit, but it's a blast.
I can't afford any $60 games.
I can't go there.
$10.
It's fun to win, though.
I'm on the value shelf here, Jimmy.
So March, he's 21 and5 now, by the way.
That's his fifth loss.
March 31st, 2007, about four months later, it's Icon Sport Epic.
God, these names are terrible.
They really are.
He fights Hector El Toro Urbina.
So, the bull here.
Hector the Bull Urbina.
He's just a Spanish guy that went, El Toro, I guess.
I don't know.
It's the easiest one.
It's as racist
as 80s fucking WWF.
Whatever, fine.
Just call me El Matador.
It's fine.
Don't worry about it.
A lot of wrestling references today.
Well, it came up in the show.
It's El Toro, isn't it?
El Toro, yeah.
You said El Matador.
That was a wrestler.
That was what they made
Portito Santana do
after he wasn't popular anymore.
They're like,
you want a job?
Put these fucking pink pants on and pretend you're a matador now.
By the way, Spanish is a fucked up language when El Matador is just killer.
That's all that is.
That's a lot of fucking syllables to say killer.
Yeah, you can do that much easier.
Way easier.
Just take our language.
That's easier.
Jason pummels the bull here.
He pummels him, gets a TKO with punches in a minute 11 in the first round.
So he just went in and fucking beat this guy silly until he couldn't stand up anymore.
Bullshit.
22 and 5.
Bullshit has been conquered.
May 12, 2007.
WEC, World Extreme Cage Fighting, that is.
Number 27 in Las Vegas at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.
Big balling.
Mancy schmancy versus Hiro Mitsu Miura, a Dutch fellow, about 6'3", blonde hair, blue eyes, very much Aryan, this guy was.
Yeah, Hiro Mitsu Miura, I guess. That's the guy.
Very, very tall
Nordic man.
5'9", 170.
12-7 career record.
This goes the distance. A 12-7 fighter
he goes the distance against. This is what I mean. I don't get
this guy. He's just like his head's here
and his head's not there.
He also has alcohol and drug problems, too,
which is a problem, too. That might have something to do with all this.
He wins by unanimous decision, Jason does, bringing him to 23-5.
Okay.
December 15, 2007, this is HDNet Fights, Reckless Abandoned.
American Airlines Center in Dallas versus Tim Kennedy.
Tim Kennedy is the guy who beat Jason back in 2003.
Yes, yes. We talked about him. Jason gets his revenge this time, but it takes him the distance. Uh-oh. versus Tim Kennedy. Tim Kennedy is the guy who beat Jason back in 2003.
We talked about him.
Jason gets his revenge this time, but it takes him the distance.
It's a unanimous decision.
Again, go in the distance a lot. Way too much.
Way too much, I feel like.
I don't know if that's because of the grappling style.
If you don't get it locked in, it just kind of lingers.
The rear naked choke's tough to get.
Strikers don't usually.
There's not as much distance in guys that punch the shit out of each other with tiny gloves on.
They tend to end sooner.
You know what I mean?
So he's 24-5 now.
That brings us to May 11, 2008.
This is Dream 3, lightweight, you know this is in Japan just by the name of this thing.
It sounds like a bad dry cleaner.
Dream 3, lightweight Grand Prix 2008 Quarterfinals.
That's catchy. That's catchy right there.
You're not selling that
shirt, by the way. No.
It goes around to the back. It's a mess.
That's a long shirt. Fuck.
It's at the Saitama Super
Arena in Saitama, Japan.
And of course, it's the Super Arena.
That's so Japanese. I love it.
Holy shit. He fights... What was it from Family Guy that they did that? Yeah's the super arena. That's so Japanese. I love it. Holy shit.
He fights.
What was it from Family Guy that they did, though?
Yeah, the dry cleaner.
Happy Firework.
He starts the dry cleaner.
He goes, which one's the Chinese dry cleaner?
And it's like, you know, Smith Family dry cleaner. And it's like super happy USA number one firework fucking blah, blah, blah, blah, blah dry cleaner.
That's great.
It's hilarious.
Because I think it might be that one.
Even Peter knows.
He fights a guy.
Super happy.
USA number one fireworks.
USA number one fireworks.
He fights a guy with a nickname who I feel like sounds better in Japanese possibly.
The idea of it.
But it's a little long and wordy for a nickname for an American.
It's Katsuyori the Mad Dog Wrestler Shibata.
I feel like that's like one word in Japanese.
You could have skipped the and wrestler and had a
much cooler name. Just Mad Dog.
That's it. Or the wrestler.
Or any of those. I feel
like in Japanese it's probably like two words and it sounds
cool, but it doesn't sound cool here. They put all these
together and it sounds like shit. No shit.
He's 6'1", 184. He's got a
4-11 career record. No wonder why he's mad foot 184 he's got a 4 and 11 career record
no wonder why he's mad he's getting his ass kicked constantly japanese guy too fuck i'd be mad too if
i was getting my ass kicked that much and i'm that big in my own country at six foot and a hundred
and some 84 pounds my fuck he's a big dude kicked yeah well he's getting beat up uh he gets worked
with a tko and put with punches in round one here. Jason works him good.
He's even more of a mad dog now.
25-5 now is Jason's record.
He's got a big fight coming up here on June 15, 2008.
He's going to fight a guy named Ronald Jacare Souza.
He's a Brazilian guy.
He's a pretty good fighter.
He's 24-5 career, and he's a badass.
And we have an in their own words
on what he says here about him.
What Jason says in their own words.
This kid is overhyped. You know what I mean?
He fought a bunch of chumps and now he thinks
he's awesome. So that's cool. Whatever.
But I fought the toughest names in the business and beat many
of them. Am I expecting an easy fight?
No. But at the same time I love the fact
that people think I'm going to get murdered
because he's got a bunch of fucking internet web clips of him submitting dudes.
So that's what he says.
I mean, he's essentially being a comic and saying, well, this guy's got fucking eight million YouTube hits.
Big deal.
Big fucking deal.
What's he got?
It's not a live audience.
Big deal.
He's got a bunch of hits on some bullshit sketch he did.
Who cares?
Here's the thing, Mr. Miller.
The names up until today,
the two big ones are Chael Sonnen
and George St. Pierre. And you lost to both of them.
You lost to both of them. Everybody else are
non-linkers. They're nobody.
I wish he would have fought more people because it would have
taken me so much less time to fucking research
this because I had to find these nobodies
and figure out what they were and it took me
three extra searches. You haven't fought shit.
He probably added this asshole fighting weak fighters probably added five hours to my fucking week this week.
I'm not even kidding.
So fuck you, Jason Miller, you pussy-fighting dick.
Anyway, all right.
So this is Dream 4 Middleweight Grand Prix 2008 quarterfinals.
You know where it is?
Give me a hint.
Dream 4 Middleweight grand prix.
Yeah, it's in Japan.
It's at the Yokohama Arena in Yokohama, Japan.
He fights Sousa, like we said.
Great tires.
Wonderful.
He fights him.
This fight goes the distance.
So he sort of backs up his shit talk, and he goes the distance but loses a decision.
He never wins a decision.
Have you noticed that?
Very rarely does he win a decision.
And if it is a win, it's split. It never wins a decision. Have you noticed that? Very rarely does he win a decision. And if it is a win,
it's split. It's never unanimous. It's split or it's
against some guy who he shouldn't have gone the distance with
to begin with and that's the reason why he's winning.
So he's 25-6, but that's
a respectable loss right there. That's fine.
You fight good fighters and you go the distance,
who knows what's going to happen. And 25-6
isn't bad either. That's really respectable in
MMA. It's easy to lose in MMA.
It's so easy. You get caught quick with a submission, you're done. It's very much like football any given Sunday. It's really respectable at MMA. It's easy to lose at MMA. It's so easy. You get caught quick with a submission
and you're done. It's very much like football
any given Sunday. It's the truth, man.
April 18, 2009
we're up to here.
Kingdom MMA, Miller vs.
Hoes in Hawaii.
He is fighting Kayla
Kalohi, which means... Miller vs.
Hoes and he's fighting Kayla? Is he fighting
women? No, he's fighting Kayla Hoes.
He's a Hawaiian guy.
Oh, yeah.
His name's Kaler Kala.
I don't know how you pronounce this.
K-A-L-A.
I thought he was just going to fight a bunch of women.
He's fighting a lady named Kayla.
He's doing it over the last lean cuisine left in the frozen food section.
He wants it bad, and she is out of shape.
It's a showdown.
Miller versus hose.
She got off work at her temp secretary job, and she's pissed.
She wants that linguine.
This guy's nickname is Kalohi, which I had to look up what the fuck that was.
It means rascal or mischievous.
Oh, the rascal?
The rascal, the mischievous hosey.
He's 5'9", 1855 with a 7-6 career record.
He loses the last four fights of his career, this guy, and this is the first of those four.
Jason wins in round one with a rear naked choke at 223, bringing him to 26-6.
Again, very respectable.
May 26, 2009. Dream 9.
Featherweight Grand Prix 2009 second round.
That's the name of the fucking card.
Second round?
Second round is even on there.
Yokohama, again, very descriptive.
This time he fights Ronaldo Sousa again.
This is the rematch.
This is a no contest.
Okay. The fight is called at 233 in round one when Sousa is cut by an illegal kick.
Oh.
I don't know what kicks are illegal in MMA.
Heel?
I don't know.
Back of the head?
No, that's legal too.
That's legal.
You see people heel kick.
That was Dotsick's big move, the roll and heel kick.
That's his whole thing.
What's an illegal kick?
I don't know if he put a fucking razor blade on his foot
like a cock fight or what, but he
kicked Sousa and it caused
a cut that they
stopped the fight from and it's a no contest
because it was from an illegal kick. Nobody wins.
Nobody wins. Everybody's got the same record.
This brings us to November 7,
2009, Strikeforce.
Fedor versus Rogers.
Brett Rogers, our friend Brett Rodgers.
Our buddy Brett.
That guy's a lunatic.
Oh, man.
Go back to, I think, episode 82 if you want to hear Brett Rodgers and more brain damage sports.
It's ridiculous.
This is at the Sears Center in Chicago.
Nobody wants to be Brett Rodgers' neighbor.
Nobody wants to be his neighbor.
You want to be Mayhem's neighbor worse or less.
Let's get into it in a second here.
He fights Jake Shields, who's 32 and 9.
This fight goes all five rounds.
Jason loses by unanimous decision.
Of course.
So he fights a good fighter, goes the distance, he's fucking losing.
Yeah.
Now, 2010, the EA, Electronic Arts MMA video game comes out.
Okay.
Okay.
He's in the game.
Oh.
There's a video of this of they're showing a bunch of the fighters.
It's like the EA development guys.
And there's like the one guy talking.
He's got a remote and there's a giant screen in the front.
And they're showing the players.
They're showing the fighters like, oh, this is our game that we made.
This is you.
Check it out.
Here's the guys.
This is how they move.
Like see if they have any input or whatever.
And they get to like the guys.
They're showing the different fighters.
Yeah.
And they get to Miller's attributes. Yeah. And they're low. Of course. And the guy next to him, this fighter next to him get to, like, the guys that are showing the different fighters, and they get to Miller's attributes, and they're low.
Of course.
And the guy next to him, this fighter next to him, is like, oh, man, they're punking
you like a motherfucker, man.
Look at your numbers, man.
Oh, man, you weak as shit.
You got a 30.
You weak as shit, man.
Blah, blah, blah.
So Jason, like, laughs it off, and then he goes to the head of development guy, and he's
like, what the fuck?
Seriously, man.
Why is my fucking shit so low?
And the guy's like, oh, you know, it's blah, blah, blah. And he goes, no, fuck that. He's like, that's fucking bullshit, man why is my fucking shit so low the guy's like oh you know it's blah blah blah and he goes no fuck that he's like that's fucking bullshit man
you guys are trying to fucking embarrass me and shit put that out there fuck he starts going off
yeah he goes off he fucking gets up he gets in the fucking head of development's face who's like a
little bald 50 year old fat guy fucking video game developer he goes oh we're just trying to put the
guy like he didn't know what to say to this fucking guy.
And like one of the other fighters gets up
and like goes,
hey man,
puts his hand on his shoulder.
He fucking,
Miller shoves this guy.
This is a conference room.
Shoves this guy.
Then he starts yelling
at the other guy,
the guy with the controller.
And he's like,
motherfucker,
this is bullshit.
How dare you fucking
disrespect me?
And he's like,
I'm just kidding, man.
And he stops.
Just goes,
I'm just joking.
And everyone's like,
holy shit.
Like the fighters are
laughing yeah and they're the guys look like okay let me clean the shit out of my pants real quick
crazy mma fighters just threatening us in the middle of an office and we're just like
because you just hear the one guy go hey man i read no disrespect at all man i don't mean any
disrespect then he goes really mother i'm just kidding and he stops the guy's like he doesn't
laugh that's not a joke no the guy does not laugh at all.
He's just like, oh, my God, what the fuck?
That's the kind of asshole he is, though.
He really put a lot into it, though.
You believed him.
You bought it.
He sold it.
He sold it hard.
April 17, 2010, they're in Nashville.
It's Strikeforce Nashville.
Oh, boy.
Versus Tim Moab Stout.
Moab's his nickname, OK?
He's a 12 and 10 fighter, so who gives a shit?
And this is his second to last fight.
So fuck him.
Jason wins by TKO with punches in round one at 309.
Just pummels the guy silly.
27 and 7.
Okay.
That's not the fun part of this night, though.
He's done.
You'd think he'd go back there, shower up, go home, get something to eat, relax, whatever.
Whatever people do after they get their brains beat in.
Right.
He instead watches Jake Fields defend his middleweight title against Dan Henderson on that.
And at the end of the fight, this is, by the way, three million people are watching on CBS.
This is on national television.
On CBS.
Holy shit.
On CBS.
What he does is he gets into the ring and interrupts Shields' post-fight interview and starts asking for a rematch with him.
I want to fight you again.
I want to fight you with him.
So what they do is they all start – they attack him basically here.
Shields, everybody on his team starts attacking him.
There's a huge brawl.
Nick and Nate Diaz are involved in it. Gilbert Melendez and Shields, everybody on his team starts attacking him. There's a huge brawl. Nick and Nate Diaz are involved in it.
Gilbert Melendez and Shields and everybody.
They're all fighting.
It's a huge.
He causes a melee because he jumps in the ring during someone else's interview like a lunatic.
Then the whole thing, they comment down in the ring, and the last shot of Miller is him walking past the commentators when they're showing the commentators.
They're looking at him like an asshole as he walks up.
He's walking up laughing and having a big smile on his face like that was the most fun he's ever had.
He didn't just give them the thumbs up and say, I'm just kidding.
No, he's just like, that was great, wasn't it? Yeah, let's do that.
Like, holy shit.
Everybody ends up getting suspended for three months and fined.
Wow.
Everyone involved in the—
So great, right?
It wasn't that great?
Ruckus.
Yeah.
Isn't that terrific? Ruckus. Yeah. Isn't that terrific?
What a dick.
At this point, he starts going on the Joe Rogan podcast.
Starts going on Joe Rogan's show, which, by the way, is so fucking big.
This is podcast goals right here.
He is so big.
If you're on his show, that episode, it's on IMDb.
Get the fuck out of here.
On Jason Miller's IMDb are three three appearances on joe rogan wow that's
how big that podcast is wow like i was like oh that's good my favorite murder as a wikipedia
page that's pretty cool that's a lot for a podcast fuck that he has imdb appearances nothing
from anything on imdb except that and a few other things we'll talk about yeah he's in some stuff
here uh so he has ends up with three appearances
on Rogan in the next two years because he's
entertaining. Yeah. He's a guy that's perfect.
And Joe talks MMA. He loves that. Absolutely.
He's a good guy to talk to.
September 25th, 2010.
Dream 16.
Nippon Gaishi Hall
in Nagoya, Japan. Of course.
He fights.
Jesus Christ. Kazushi the Great. They call that a number six. They course. He fights, Jesus Christ.
Kazushi, the great... They call that a number six.
They work up a number six on him.
Kazushi, the Gracie Hunter Sakuraba.
He calls himself the Gracie Hunter.
He's fought several of the Gracies and lost to all of them.
Lost to all of them.
I saw he beat one one time,
and then that guy beat him like twice more.
He should call it the Gracie hunted.
He should call himself the Gracie hunted.
Just call himself the Gracie sparring partner.
Gracie's bitch.
If your name is Gracie, I'm your bitch.
Gracie punching bag.
There he is.
Jason also fucking decides he's going to have some fun with him, too, and gets him in an arm triangle choke and wins a 209 in the first round.
Jesus.
So the Gracie hunter is not a hunter at all.
He's definitely hunted.
Definitely hunted.
Now, this leads to, in a couple months here, there's a Strikeforce event, Strikeforce Diaz versus Noons 2.
And Mayhem and
Nick Diaz again become
getting into a fight backstage.
A big war of words. They start arguing with each other.
Diaz throws a bottle of water on him.
They start going to attack each
other. People get involved and they don't actually land any
blows or anything, but they try to attack each
other back there.
He continues to
campaign for a fight with him because that's a big fight.
So Mayhem wants to fight him.
So it's a big payday for him and it never ends up happening.
2011, he's on the TV show The Ultimate Fighter as a coach.
He coaches one side, somebody else coaches the other.
It's a game show.
That's the show.
The other guy was Michael Bisping.
Yeah, Bisping.
Michael the Count Bisping.
That's the guy that runs the football pool that Riddick Bowe is working for.
Oh, my God.
He's the one that runs the fantasy football.
You get dickhead ex-athletes to troll the fuck out of people's private-
Bisping, you're a cunt.
Yes.
Your private message accounts, you dickhead fuckbag.
Oh, my God.
I don't like you at all.
Shit, I hope he kicks your fucking ass.
I'm rooting for Miller in this one here.
So he appears on TV there, so that's more, you know, a little exposure.
And he's one of the coaches, so he's on there a lot.
It's a big deal.
There's a lot on MTV with this guy, too.
There's a lot of, like, there's documentaries on him, like him preparing for fights.
There's a three-part documentary on MTV.
Because he's crazy.
Yeah, that entertaining behavior.
They like Puck, they like him. They'll put you on MTV. Because he's crazy. Yeah, that entertaining behavior. They like Puck.
They like him.
They'll put you on fucking anything.
Right.
It's true.
August 31st, 2011, appears on Jimmy Fallon.
What?
This is before it was The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon.
But still, it's 1230, but he's still going on.
He's going on a late night show, for Christ's sake.
Fallon just probably thought he was fun to giggle at because he's a moron.
It was still on NBC, right?
Yeah, yeah.
It was just on after The Tonight Show.
Now, or 2011, it might have been on. Yeah, it was on after the Tonight Show. Or 2011, it might have been on.
Yeah, it was on after the Tonight Show then.
December 3rd, 2011, back in the UFC.
UFC, the Ultimate Fighter 14 finale.
So this is the one where the guys fight each other and the coaches fight each other, too.
Oh, shit.
So in the main event, it is Mayhem versus Michael the Count Bisping, who is a 30-7 guy.
He's an Englishman, 6'2", 185.
Ugly fucker.
Yeah, yeah.
He's got a forehead.
I saw a picture.
Good God.
He's an ugly fuck.
Protruding forehead.
He's just a goofy looking.
He looks like he was made to take blows to the head, though.
He does.
Like, this head's perfect.
Punch it right here.
Right there.
Like a hammer.
There's your target.
This fight goes to the third round, but it doesn't go the distance.
your target. This fight goes to the third round, but it doesn't go
the distance. Finally,
Bisping overcomes Jason with
knees and punches, and
finally, the ref calls the fight.
It's a TKO at 3 minutes and 34
seconds in round three. That
is 28 and 8 now he is.
Now he gets a gig as the host of
MTV's Bully Beatdown.
Remember the show we talked about? He's that guy? He's the host.
Jesus. He's the douchebag.
God, what an asshole.
In the first episode, basically, guys, I know we explained it briefly once, but it's a show
where there's a bully, and you talk this bully gets confronted by an MMA fighter, and if
the guy will fight the bully, then he can win up to $10,000 if he lasts a certain amount
of time.
But if the MMA fighter beats the guy, then he gets the $10,000, which I think is fucking
hilarious.
That's fucking ridiculous.
He's getting paid to be on the show anyway.
And the person who was being bullied gets dick either way.
Right.
They get to see somebody get beat up or not.
He gets a front row seat to watch a fight.
That's it, pretty much.
And the first episode, too, Jason takes all $10,000 and just thoroughly destroys a bully.
Just demoralizes 12-year-olds.
Just demoralizes some 17-year-old kid.
Absolutely wrecks him.
So he owes that for a long time.
So MTV likes him.
This would mean he's popular because he's got goddamn personality.
And he's willing to kick the shit out of a minor on TV.
He doesn't care.
Fuck it.
I don't know this guy.
He's not a professional fighter.
I'll beat his ass anyway.
What do I care?
That's fucking amazing.
May 26, 2012, there's a fight.
Miller indicates that he will retire if he loses the fight.
That's a wrestling angle.
I'll retire if I can't beat Ric Flair on December 7th at the Garden.
So he becomes, gets, he's a complete idiot. He's backstage before the garden. So he becomes, gets, he's a complete idiot.
He's backstage before the fight.
Apparently there's a stage manager back there named Bert Watson, who's their longtime stage
manager.
He's the guy who runs everything and he's very well respected in the UFC.
Okay.
He gets, Mayhem gets in a verbal altercation with him because this guy prevented him.
Mayhem wanted to walk out wearing a gas mask with a
paper bag over his head that was his oh that's why we wanted to walk out and the stage manager
said you're not fucking walking out like that sorry you look like an asshole no so there was
a big they got in a big argument over it uh so that was before the fight pick one pick one well
that's that's not the only thing that happened that night, being an idiot, okay? He must have just been in a fucking weird mood that night.
And then there's the fight.
It's UFC 146.
It's Dos Santos versus Mir is the main event.
It's at MGM Grand.
He fights.
Jason fights CB, the Doberman Dolloway.
It's a terrible name.
6'2", 185, 16 and 8 career fighter.
So it's going the distance, obviously.
Goes the distance, Jason loses a unanimous decision.
Doesn't retire, but doesn't really have to retire because let's talk about what he does because it's stupider than retiring.
Let's do it in their own words here.
Let him tell you.
Let's let him explain this.
Miller, tell me.
Who am I to explain it?
In their own words, quote, I'll tell you what happened.
After I lost the damn fight, I went in there and
asked for a damn shot of whiskey. The lady
said, this is not a bar, and apparently that
was Dana White's personal bartender.
So I walked up, I walked off, and I was
like, ah, jeez, what a cunt. And she
heard me and told on me like
we're in fucking fourth grade. That's all
that happened, and they act like I went and burned the goddamn
building down. That seems to be the tendency when it comes to me.
Everyone gets all bent out of shape and damn near shits their pants.
You called a woman a cunt over not getting a shot of whiskey.
Who is like probably Dana White's very respected close personal person that works for her.
Somebody that's probably had many dinners and lunches with Dana White.
Who controls everything in the UFC.
Jesus Christ.
So what happens is the next day, Dana announces that Jason's fired from UFC for, quote, backstage
antics, and he calls him, quote, a clown.
I wish you would have called him a cunt.
That would have been great.
I think he's a bit of a cunt.
What'd he say?
I don't see something.
Oh, we'll go with clown.
It's printable. Now, for him, he thinks he's a bit of a cunt. What'd he say? I gotta see something. Oh, we'll go with clown. That's what's printable.
Now, for him, he thinks he's fine.
He said, quote, I really cleaned up my act and got serious about my life again.
I was taking mayhem to the far extremes, the far reaches of depravity, and now I'm back here into the normal human world.
That's the far reaches of depravity?
Apparently so.
Calling a woman a cunt over a shot of whiskey?
Apparently.
Well, there's more.
That's the far reaches?
I've gone way worse, by the way.
God.
He does something embarrassing here.
2012, he appears in a Kevin James movie.
That's pretty embarrassing.
Oh, Christ.
Yeesh.
He appears in Here Comes the Boom, which is, I guess, it's cool.
That is a really bad one.
That's the worst one, I think.
A high school biology teacher looks to become a successful mixed martial arts fighter in
an effort to raise money to prevent extracurricular activities from being axed at his cash-strapped school.
Holy shit, it's like breaking two electric boogaloo, except for the fat guy trying to
fight.
For the widest kids ever.
Wow, nobody can dance.
No.
He plays, Miller plays Lucky Patrick Murphy.
Lucky Patrick, everybody calls him.
Now, that's going to come into play because he's a complete moron and he'll use that as an excuse later on.
He's a character.
That's what he does.
If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia.
But that's okay.
I am here for you.
I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my
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August 13, 2012, he is accused of causing $400 in damage at a church, a Mission Viejo Mission Hills Church.
What he does is, okay, he's facing over a year in jail.
Pastor of the church comes in to the church in the morning of August 13th, 2012 and calls the cops because he discovers a break-in.
Yeah.
Okay.
First floor completely ransacked, broken pictures, books.
Door off the hinges because I can think of somebody.
DVDs, fire.
Yeah, that might be him.
We'll see.
Is there some poor guy naked in bed, pummeled?
Fire extinguisher had been shot off.
Powder everywhere, dust, residue.
Spray paint on the walls.
Oh, no.
Tagging on the fucking walls, the whole deal.
So they're like, what's going on here?
So they walk in further and they find Miller completely naked, passed out on the couch.
Dick out.
Dick out.
Sleeping on the couch.
He did all that.
With a fire extinguisher laying next to him.
Did all that and went and passed out on the couch of the church.
How drunk do you have to fucking be to do that?
Sounds like somebody got their shot of whiskey.
Wow.
Jesus Christ.
What a fucking cock.
When they asked him his name, he kept saying, mayhem, mayhem.
Oh, boy.
They didn't know who he was.
They thought he was being uncooperative.
The cops thought he was being uncooperative and wouldn't tell them who he was.
And he's like, mayhem, mayhem.
And they're like, man, what the fuck?
This guy's out of his mind.
Just give us a name, sir.
He says he's mayhem.
Jesus Christ.
Mayhem here. So they take him into custody yeah uh into the orange county uh first into first at the hospital to make sure he's
fined uh make sure he's okay he was deemed okay for booking there they said and he's charged with
a misdemeanor vandalism cause uh charge uh yeah that's a misdemeanor that's a misdemeanor, vandalism, cause, charge. That's a misdemeanor? That's a misdemeanor.
Trashing a church.
Legitimately trashing a church.
Oh, yeah.
Spraying the fire extinguisher inside all over the fucking place.
Still faces up to a year in jail, but obviously that's not going to happen.
That makes more sense.
He's held on $20,000 bail there.
October 2012, here's a super weird thing.
He goes on this show the MMA hour
it's a radio show
with a guy named
Ariel Helwani
who's the host
and apparently
he has MMA guys
all the time
sure
the guy starts asking him
just normal shit
he starts asking him
about things
and Miller just acts
like an asshole
starts being real
a total dick to him
yeah
and the guy's actually
asking him to like
come on, dude.
I know you're fucking around, but chill it out.
Take it down a notch.
He refuses to acknowledge that it's an act.
Refuses to do anything.
Gets more aggressive.
Climbs up on a table.
Yells at the guy.
Talks a whole bunch of shit and then leaves.
Climbed on a table for what?
Climbed on a table to fucking yell at the guy.
Talked a whole bunch of shit and leave. You can't just say it right there shit just say it right there no he's crazy standing still no he's like a goat
he needs to get hype and then yell downward that's what he likes to do i feel better if i'm sitting
up high uh so what ends up happening then a couple weeks later he does another interview with this
guy and it's on youtube of them walking through the park for like an hour doing this interview
the whole time is him just going dude i was being a
character man i was being lucky patrick from the movie okay i was in character what the fuck don't
you people understand and the guy goes why didn't you fucking tell me then and i would have played
along and he's like man you would have sucked even worse than you do already that's what he told the
guy he's like you would have sucked even worse you wouldn't have fucking gone along with it right i
needed you to be fucking whatever and the guy like, you could have just did an interview with me like a normal person.
By the way, that movie's already come out.
It's over.
It's done.
You don't have to fucking promote it anymore.
Stop it.
He's nuts, man.
The whole thing was crazy.
But in this whole thing, he goes, no, that was just playing around.
I got my life back on track.
Everything's fine.
That was just fun.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Did Lucky Patrick also ruin a church?
Did he do that?
Did he spray a fire hydrant all over the church?
He even claims to be like Andy Kaufman.
Oh, my God.
But better.
Oh, no, he did not.
He said, I'm like Andy Kaufman, but better.
He said that.
That's what he said.
Wow.
He literally said it was like an Andy Kaufman.
That's what he's doing.
He thinks he's fucking Andy Kaufman now.
Unbelievable.
Yelling at some guy who doesn't know why you're yelling at him isn't clever. Andy Kaufman created a whole world's what he's doing. He thinks he's fucking Andy Kaufman now. Unbelievable. Yelling at some guy who doesn't know why you're yelling at him
isn't clever. Andy Kaufman created
a whole world around what he was doing.
That was kind of clever. You want to be funny
and clever, go on The Tonight Show
and fucking... And get Jerry Lawler
to slap you. Or just stand there and go,
I didn't bring anything.
Give me some money.
That's maybe the best TV appearance
from anybody ever. That was terrific. And he legitimately got money off of people. That's maybe the best TV appearance from anybody ever.
That was terrific.
And he legitimately got money off of people.
That's so funny.
November 21st, 2012, those vandalism charges are dismissed.
Wow.
So nothing.
Not even a fine.
Dismissed.
Dismissed.
Did he agree to maybe pay back the $400?
I don't know.
Like it was somebody else?
Right around then, he appears on American Ninja Warrior.
He gets through the first round and then goes down in the second round.
Oh, he was a fucking, he was a participant.
Yeah, it was like a fighter's edition or some shit.
They have like, you know, him and a couple other fighters are on there.
That's so fucking stupid.
So he's on American Ninja Warrior.
My son loves that damn show.
Loves it.
He's 10, so that fits.
I like when PE teachers can do that shit.
I like when a fucking trained fighter falls off.
I always see that too and they're like, this is amazing.
And I'm like, if you got an NBA player out there
he would do that half asleep, high
as fuck without even thinking about it.
What was so hard about that shit? You guys are
not athletic at all.
So anyway,
crazy shit starts happening here. August 10th,
2013, Miller's girlfriend at the time phones police and says that she's been the victim of domestic violence.
They had an argument over a text message, basically, that she found on his phone.
So, yeah.
Don't do that.
So police are sent to his house, to Miller's house, about 5.30 in the morning because there was a loud party the night before.
Now, when they arrive, he is outside yelling at his neighbors at 5.30 in the morning because he's having a loud party.
So he's super pissed off.
Yeah.
She, his girlfriend, has multiple bruises on her arms and legs and cuts above her right eyebrow and on her face.
OK. That's a party.
This is a party.
Yeah, it's not a great party.
So they arrest him for domestic violence and for the whole deal.
He posts bail and is released.
They don't file any charges against him for that one.
They do for the assault, but not for anything else.
OK, he issues.
This is important.
He issues an apology. He issues an this is important, he issues an apology.
He issues an apology.
For beating up the girl.
Yes, he says, quote, I beg for forgiveness if I have brought shame or pain upon Anna,
her father, her mother, her sister, her children, and Shiloh.
Know this, Ja is the almighty, shall judge, and no man.
I love you.
I apologize with all my heart during the most challenging time of my life.
I ask only for you to, I don't even know what that word is.
Anastan?
What the fuck is that?
I don't know.
U-N-N-A-S-T-A-N?
I don't know.
I don't know what the fuck that means, but he brought jaw into it, which I find is really unnecessary.
Was he like saying, like, jaw rule?
Something, maybe.
That's probably what it was.
That's where he was going.
So, Jesus Christ, man.
This is ridiculous.
So he's yelling.
Now, the almighty jaw.
The almighty jaw.
Jesus Christ.
Now, there was two cases there.
There was the first time she called, and then there was the second time they showed up and called.
Now, about the first time, we have some details here.
Anastabile is her name, the girlfriend.
She says that during the second assault, she was choked until she fell on the floor where she was punched and kicked viciously and then urinated on.
What?
She claims he peed on her.
Hold still.
Hold still.
He beat her up and peed on her.
Don't move.
It's funny, but it's insane.
I don't understand. You didn't expect that.
That was just a left hook.
You didn't know.
He punched, kicked, choked.
That's all normal.
That's one, two, three.
And then pissed on her.
And then pissed.
He went A, B, C, Q.
What the fuck is that that's
nowhere near abcp that doesn't work can't skip that many fucking letters
it's terrible man jesus how do you i don't understand how somebody gets pissed on like
well she was on the floor maybe as he's taking a zipper, she's assuming she's about to get raped.
Yeah.
And then he starts just pissing on her.
And then he pees on her.
Jesus, what a mess.
At some point, though, in the middle of getting pissed on, she's got to be a little bit relieved.
Something.
Oh, good.
At least this is better.
At least this is all he's doing.
Well, he's got excuses for that later.
Don't you worry.
Jesus Christ.
His attorney says that he asked her to leave and she attacked him.
Okay.
And that his father saw her attack him.
So anyway, at this point, Jason, during the hearing.
ABCP.
ABCP.
Oh, God.
Oh, fuck.
That's hysterical.
So they're having this hearing.
Yeah.
And during this hearing, while they're talking about him beating up and peeing on a woman,
he's making faces and nodding his head all around and just acting like an idiot.
The judge yells at him, stops everything, calls him a dickhead.
He apologized. He called him a dickhead?
No, no.
He just said, stop doing that.
Jason apologized, explaining
that he's, quote, an expressive person
and that he's, quote, an artist.
So that means I can act like a dickhead in court.
Michael Jackson couldn't act like
that in court. If he couldn't, you can't. Sorry.
Because he was an artist.
He's an artist because he paintbrushed a woman?
That's not an artist. That's a different kind of art.
Wow.
The judge told him he'd best be, he's advised him he's best served to be silent Is that because he paintbrushed a woman? That's not an artist. That's a different kind of art. Wow. Wow.
The judge told him he's advised him he's best served to be silent and allow his lawyer to talk for him.
The judge is talking about the cuts and bruises.
Mayhem's defense attorney here says, quote, the victim trains in MMA as well and says that she attacked him.
He said that she didn't go to the hospital for her injuries.
Instead, she slept at his house.
She stayed there and didn't report it for a week.
And also, Jason has a restraining order against her.
What?
Yes, but had her at the house, beat her up, and then let her stay there.
And pissed on her.
Peed on her.
Cops came, still let her stay over.
Jesus.
And also, they claim that several other boyfriends, old boyfriends, have restraining orders against her.
She's that girl, apparently.
She's that woman.
She's also the girl that digs through his cell phone, and that's a problem, too.
How about you two just don't belong together?
Yeah, but he also, there's Snapchat and tweets about incriminating evidence of him sending her things and calling her Satan and shit.
Oh, Jesus.
And harassing her on social media.
Oh, what a monster.
So he's an idiot.
At this point, though, he's not going to do this.
He decides he's going to be a different guy and change his life.
He changed his Twitter name to God is Love.
Get the fuck out of here.
And his Twitter description now is simply forgiven.
That's it.
That's his forgiven.
God is Love forgiven.
He's an early Twitter adapter. He was on in
08 on Twitter, so he got on board quick.
He's been for a while. But God is love
and forgiven is what it read at that point.
August 26, 2013,
the two charges of assault
against him are combined.
The two felony counts,
they combine it into one case with
two felony counts of corporal injury
of a spouse.
He pleads not guilty and is released with $100,000 bail.
September 8th, 2014, Miller is declared a fugitive.
When he does not show up for a hearing on that aforementioned combined domestic violence case and stalking.
So the deputies end up going to his house on October 9th, and one of the craziest fucking scenes ever ensues. Awesome. Police show up at his house with an arrest warrant.
He doesn't come out. This is for a missed court date, by the way. This is literally a missed
court date. All you have to do is restructure it and reset a new date. Call. Call. And they'll
give you a new date. He wouldn't answer. And I guess he was in there.
They knew he was in there, but he wouldn't come out. And this is a
warrant they have. So they end up
calling for backup. And several
police cars. The SWAT team arrives.
Ambulances.
The whole deal. And he's a monster.
They know. He's a monster.
It's fucking crazy. They
come in here. They do
a detonation at his front door.
They blow off his front door.
They go through his windows.
His lawyer's like, all he had to do was send him a piece of paper saying that he needed to appear in court and he would have done there.
His lawyer said, except for the one time he was home sick, he's always appeared.
But no, they had this big production.
But he didn't surrender is the problem.
He stayed in the house and holed up.
They had sharpshooters on roofs, armored personnel vehicles, a helicopter, machine guns.
It was like he was in there holing up.
Like he had an arsenal and they just robbed 20 banks.
He said.
They've got David Koresh, they believe.
He said, quote, all I had was martial arts.
I thought they were going to kill me.
It was like I was Osama bin Laden. Well, I wouldn't know that.
Calm down, you dramatic fuck.
Yeah, let's not go
crazy. But what does he do
at this point? What do you do if you're holed up
in the house and the SWAT team's coming? Surrender?
Call them? Call the police? Open
the fucking door. Open the door?
He starts live-tweeting the whole thing.
Get out of here. He live-tweeted this whole fucking thing. Open the door. He starts live tweeting the whole thing. Get out of here. He live tweeted this whole fucking thing.
Oh, my God.
And I have all of them here.
Really?
Let's get into this.
Let's do what he said.
This guy's crazy.
He's old.
What an asshole.
First tweet is, if you would like to see this drama unfold, please come to and gives out
his address.
So he's telling people to come.
Then he says, quote, I need to tell everyone about the absolute waste of resources going
on outside of my house right now. I am counting
no less than five officers. How many
fucking followers does he have?
250,000, I believe.
Yeah, so a lot. A lot of people
are hearing about the waste of resources.
Next tweet. Per usual, they
have an army and I am just me.
Next tweet. Just don't let them shoot me.
Next tweet. All this because I wanted to help raise a young boy into a man and his mama went off her meds and an ambitious DA thinks mayhem is bad.
Capital bad.
Next tweet.
I wish you no harm.
I respect the police, but this is overkill for something that would be settled with one piece of paper.
Next tweet.
Now I see a literal armored personnel carrier pulling up.
They trying to murder me.
I want a peaceful solution.
Can you imagine watching this happen in his house?
Watching him staring out the window with his phone in his hand.
You've got your phone.
Just fucking call 911.
Jesus.
Next tweet. I did nothing wrong.
This is the state of American justice.
I feel you, black men.
They fear
so they threaten to take our lives.
Yeah, he's trying to lump
himself in with our lives.
White guys who are holed up in their
fucking house.
Being politely asked to come outside a
little different jesus christ i feel you black man you're a dumb shit next one he actually
ats the uh ats the police sheriff's department the orange county sheriff's department it's come
one come all join at ocfd at the police block party see military might in suburbia.
26-262 Avienda Calidad, Mission Viejo.
That's hilarious.
Thanks, robots.
That is amazing.
That's fucking...
Oh, let's do more, shall we?
Want a couple more?
That's my favorite one.
That's pretty funny, actually.
Quote, now they broke my window
with some box with a phone in it and AR-15s.
They are terrified and they have all the guns.
Yeah, yeah.
The box with the phone in it is to call them, you dipshit.
Yeah, call them.
Scaring my dog, he says.
Now he tweets back at the police department.
At OCSD, they threw a phone box through a play glass window.
Disrespect.
I would like to give up, but not with 50 Rambos out there.
Not cool, he says. he ends it with not cool ah he tweets like donald trump yeah he did so amazing respect yeah it's fucking
hilarious no wonder you got low ratings he just needed a sad at the end with not with 50 rambos
out there sad so sad not cool is his version. Yeah, he
they eventually arrest him, obviously.
Is that his last tweet? That was the last
one that I found here. Not cool.
That's when they started coming
because they went through the window at that point.
His excuse was that he planned to go to
court on Thursday, but he woke up late.
He just woke up. And so they arrived at
his home and he didn't want to come out. And then
that's what happens. Shit happens. A phone box thrown through his fucking window. By 2 p. And so they arrived at his home, and he didn't want to come out, and then that's what happened. Shit happens.
He got a phone box thrown through his fucking window.
By 2 p.m., they were blowing the locks off the door with explosives.
So that's what ends up happening.
He says it wasn't necessary.
His attorney says Jason has been under the care of a doctor for an illness, which they said he overslept before, so whatever.
Finally, he says, quote, I wish the police had informed me of their raid.
We could have saved the taxpayers a lot of money. overslept before so whatever finally he says quote i wish the police had informed me of their raid we
could have saved the taxpayers a lot of money there was no reason at all for them to get all
dressed up in their swat costumes costumes he's held on two hundred thousand dollars bond costume
implies that it doesn't work that it's fake non-functional right and it's just they put on
fucking body armor to drag your fucking ass out of your condo, you dead shit.
Yes, to possibly kill you.
Right.
So he says the damage to his home was extensive, and eventually the sheriff came and boarded up the broken entrances to his home.
But he says they have not responded to his request for reimbursement.
You should have came out of your fucking house.
They also broke the gate.
The dog escaped and was picked up by the county, and he needed $400 to get him released from the pound.
So he wants that money back.
His dog was impounded?
His dog got impounded in this whole thing
because they broke down his fence.
Unbelievable.
Let's see here.
Let's do an in their own words on why he did this.
This is so good.
In their own words, quote,
everyone's going to blame CTE,
LMNOP, PCP, DMP, HIC. I don't even know what the fuck kind of drugs they were saying
I was on. Crack cocaine. Everyone had their own opinion on the fucking internet and I was just
cracking up because I don't even do those drugs. What do you mean now? I don't do drugs. I'm just
insane. I picked a career path where I got to fight other men. All of my buddies think that
I'm pretty wild and insane in a fun way. Not in a dangerous, like I should be in jail way.
No, clearly not.
Not like beating women and peeing on them way.
Not like needing a SWAT team to get you out of your house kind of way.
Not like that or anything.
Not like peeing on your girlfriend in the hallway kind of way.
Holy shit.
March 7, 2015.
He is accused of kicking a police officer and spitting in another one.
That sounds right.
That sounds like our guy. That's our guy. That sounds right. That sounds like our guy.
That's our guy.
That's our guy.
That's our guy.
That's our man.
When they're called to the White House restaurant in Laguna Beach because Miller got mad and broke a bottle during a ruckus, apparently.
He got pissed off.
He's charged with a felony count of resisting an officer with also he is committing a crime while he's out on bail.
So that gets his bail higher.
That's a problem.
That's a problem.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
And misdemeanor counts of each of resisting police and battery on a police officer.
Not a great line for him.
So, yeah, he's charged by all of that.
He broke the glass, blah, blah, blah.
Now, this is the one outside.
There's a video of this, of the arrest. Not inside, but once he gets
outside, the street is
full of police. Full of police.
There are ten cops on the sidewalk
with him. He's on his knees, handcuffed,
yelling, unlock me,
bitch! Unlock me, bitch!
Fuck all you up! Unlock
me, bitch! I'm a fucking machine!
You can't touch me! Unlock me, bitch! up unlock me bitch we know i'm a fucking machine you can't touch me
unlock me bitch fucking unlock me all the way to the fucking car it's a five minute long video of
him yelling unlock me bitch that's a long walk and over and over again repeatedly just unlock
me bitch unlock me bitch uh after this though after he's arrested he's done that whole thing
he says jesus christ quote it's time for a truce with law enforcement.
Time for a truce.
It's long overdue, man.
Like he's winning.
Like he's like, you know, there's been, you've had damage on your side.
I've had damage on my side.
It's just you.
You're getting arrested.
They're fine.
They're fine with this.
This beef you have.
They'll just keep arresting you.
They can arrest you an unlimited amount of times.
you have. They'll just keep arresting you. They can arrest you an unlimited amount of times. He said, but quote, it's a truce, but only after they stop trampling my constitutional
rights is what he says. Then I'm ready for a truce. Well, let's see what he tramples
here in January 23rd, 2015. He's at the Steady Ready Tattoo Shop in Lake Forest, California.
He's got money for tattoos.
Shit, yeah. First, he's inside. He allegedly blew out a pair
of speakers by turning the volume
all the way up on their stereo
and blowing out their speakers. Damage
to that is estimated to be about
$650. Jesus, he has nice
speakers. Yeah, he's charged with misdemeanor
vandalism also because
he went outside then on the brick wall
and wrote graffiti with spray paint
of the outside of the building.
So he's arrested for vandalism like a fucking moron.
So that's fine.
I think he'd calm it down then.
He's good now, right?
Yeah.
It's a truce.
He didn't call a truce on graffiti, did he?
That's right.
No, he did.
Well, two nights later, he stopped in his vehicle in Mission Viejo and ends up with a DUI that night also.
That sounds right.
Very high blood alcohol level, the whole deal.
This whole thing results in a $1 million bail.
Wow.
Because he's being menaced.
There's 14 different things going on.
They're like, let's hold on to him for a minute.
And now he's drunk behind the wheel of a vehicle, and he's already a problem when he's standing still.
He's just out there doing shit.
He's got a fucking deadly weapon.
He's just in a restaurant.
You're sitting in a restaurant.
That guy's there with you.
You're at a park.
That guy's there.
At any minute, he can lose his shit.
He can.
It's so weird.
He can lose his shit.
He can snap at any minute.
Yeah.
But the thing is, he's sitting there.
And he knows he can snap at any minute.
But he doesn't know who's watching him.
Right.
He doesn't know who's watching him.
And you know who's watching him?
It's Mark Regan,
fugitive recovery agent. And he says...
How is it you've come
to arrive here, you son of a bitch?
How'd you get here? I've been tracking
you. You better not run, because I'll
track you. I'll track you to the end of time.
I'll track you to the end of time, you lousy bastard. I'm coming tracking you. You better not run because I'll track you. I'll track you to the end of time. I'll track you to the end of time, you lousy bastard.
I'm coming for you.
Nobody can get away from my smell.
But if you do decide to turn your life around, I also do real estate on the side.
Here's my car.
I could get you in a nice three-bedroom starter home if you got kids, maybe a condo down on the water.
We'll talk.
We'll talk.
I got good stuff.
It's all right.
But if you do get arrested, I am going to come for you.
That's the thing. I'm going to come for you. But, you know, try to do this. Call me. We'll talk. We'll talk. I got good stuff. It's all right. But if you do get arrested, I am going to come for you.
That's the thing.
I'm going to come for you.
But, you know, try to do this.
Call me.
We'll talk about it.
You could text me, but don't do it too late at night.
And also, too, make sure you say who you are because I don't want to have to answer who is this and then you get back to me.
I got a lot of people.
Okay, I got to go now.
I got to go now.
Poof.
And in a puff of trench coat, Mark Regan's gone.
Maybe with a possible real estate sale. In a puff of trench coat. Mark Regan's gone. Maybe with a possible real estate sale.
And a puff of trench coat and business cards.
Business cards.
Real estate flyers
that they've stick in the thing outside.
And one of them has his Twitter handle.
Oh, absolutely.
Just add old Mark Regan here.
Now, early 2015
he's featured on Real Sports
with Brian Gumbel.
What the fuck?
While they talk about
domestic violence at MMA.
Really?
They talk about piss assault?
He's pissed off because,
no, he says,
quote,
they tried to portray me
as some monster.
The truth,
they were barking up
the wrong tree for that one.
It was ridiculous
trying to compare me
to damn War Machine
or some ridiculousness. I agree with that, but you pissed on a woman man it was like what the fuck did you
see what that guy did to her i used to beat that kid up every single day that's what he says about
war that's true how how much of an ego does he have that he has to fucking throw himself in there
and talk about how much tougher than him he is well then in the interview he acts like a lunatic
he smokes weed on camera. Oh, my God.
And talks about the, and complains that there's not a lot of background checks performed on
fighters.
And then just, they asked him about domestic.
As he's sitting there smoking weed.
As he's sitting there smoking weed.
And the guys asked him about domestic violence.
And he says, quote, dude, your cuffed jeans are awesome, but I beat men up.
What?
I don't know what that, I guess he was making fun of his jeans.
He's calling him a queer.
He's calling him something.
Yeah. The perception, though, he said he believes making fun of his genes. He's calling him a queer. He's calling him something. Yeah.
The perception, though, he said he believes the public is beginning to forgive him
and his fan base is returning. He says in their own
words, quote, during my college years
I was eating spinach, chicken breast, and training.
I spent the last four years in college.
I have been trying to figure out how to be a human being.
But I think at this point, I kind of figured it out.
You think? Let's find out.
You think he's good now? No.
I'm good now.
October 16th, 2005. Who gets pissed on?
Police respond to a disturbance call at his home.
2005 or 2015?
2015.
I apologize.
Officers hear a female screaming inside the house when they arrive.
And drowning.
And drowning.
Muffled screams, gurgling.
They arrive at 1.34 a.m.
Yeah.
When they arrive, they hear a woman screaming.
That's not a good hour.
So they go to the side yard of the home where Mayhem comes out and confronts them, confronts the police.
He's aggressive.
He apparently gets super pissed off at them for being there, yells and screams and curses at them, and throws some large ceramic tiles at them.
Jesus.
Then brandishes a fire extinguisher and a metal pole and comes at them with that.
I thought you were going to say firearm.
Oh, God.
No, fire extinguisher is not a bad role.
I was like, this is about to end.
No.
Fire extinguisher and a metal pole, swings that around for a while before running away
from the backyard.
Tries to get away, though, but he can't get away because he's shot with a taser.
Well, here's the thing, too, real quick.
He does not
understand the plight of a black man no black man would have been shot with a gun not so many times
they shot him with a taser yeah uh that didn't end it though it then lasted for another eight
minutes until he was getting tased it took he post-tasing it took them eight minutes to wrap
this guy up here uh yeah uh the police say, quote, subsequent investigation determined an altercation had occurred between Miller and two females inside the house.
Both females were interviewed and uncooperative with the investigation.
Of course they were.
Just as big assholes as he is.
Yeah.
He is arrested for assaulting a police officer with a deadly weapon, being held on $50,000 bond.
That's a steep penalty, too, because that's a felony.
Yeah.
You can throw a giant tile at the guy. That's a problem. You could have because that's a felony. Yeah, he threw a giant tile at the guy.
That's a problem.
He could have hurt him.
So, I mean, Christ almighty, how many cops?
He's hurt a bunch of cops.
He's assaulted, spit on cops, spit on women, done all this shit.
Imagine his dad who's in the 82nd Airborne.
He's not fucking proud of this guy at all.
I feel bad for all these people, Jimmy.
All of them.
Not nearly as bad as I feel for Dr. Jason Miller, a foot and ankle doctor in Houston, Texas.
I could have done this forever.
We could have done just a show on this.
Just a show on mistaken Jason Millers.
Professor Jason Miller, professor in the mathematics department at The Ohio State University in Columbus.
Or a chick pisser.
Or a chick pisser.
As far as these kids are concerned, he's a chick pisser.
I like that professor, but he pisses on chicks.
I don't know if I'm into that.
He has a 4.3 out of 5 on Rate My Professor.
Wow.
Let's see what people say about him.
Quote, his lectures are quite boring, but he does a decent job at presenting the material clearly.
He's kind of a mysterious person, especially considering he wears the same black champion shirt to lecture every day.
His tests are difficult but fair.
Maybe he has five of them, you asshole.
And the homework for the most part are easy points.
Maybe he has a bunch of those shirts, you fucking jerk.
Jason Miller.
He works for Convey IQ.
He's, quote, leading a team that helps companies win the war for talent in New York, New York.
I don't know what the fuck he's doing.
And finally, even this guy's embarrassed to be associated.
Jason Miller, a former Newton police officer who resigned in 2015 after being caught on
video exposing his genitals to at least five motorists and was arrested and charged with
forcing himself on a 16-year-old in a restaurant bathroom.
Still rather be him.
That guy is embarrassed.
He's fucking.
He's like, come on, not this guy.
I didn't pee on anybody at least.
Jesus Christ.
Five motorists.
Like, were they like five cars in a row?
Or was it like he did it five separate times?
Maybe.
So October 20th, 2005.
Jesus Christ, man.
Fuck.
Miller pleads not guilty to the eight-minute struggle fight in the yard with the cops here.
He's charged with two felony counts of assault with a weapon on a police officer and resisting arrest, $200,000 bail.
February 10th, 2016.
You'd think he'd be a hot commodity in the fighting world, right?
Fuck yeah, he is.
At least against women.
He announces he'll fight again.
Somebody signed him.
Venator, he was saying he'll fight in May of
2017.
This guy is as silver as it comes here.
Venator President
Frank Marenda. He
sounded ecstatic to have Mayhem.
He said, quote, Mayhem Miller's a
beast. He is one of the most beloved fighters
of all time, and people have badly missed
such a performer with guts, attitude, and at the same time a strong will to win big and entertain.
And a full bladder.
He's in a full bladder.
Watch it.
Oh, it's empty.
He's peed on every girl.
He's a huge, huge achievement for Venator to have him back in the saddle for the fans all around the world.
Wow.
That's a huge achievement.
A guy that assaults police officers, ruins churches, and pisses on women.
He says about it in their own words, quote, I'm fighting Josh Barnett on May 21st for the title of Venator.
So I'm fighting Josh Barnett in Italy, and I'm going to fuck him up.
Catch wrestling is nothing compared to monkey jujitsu.
Whoa.
He says, Mayhem Miller is in full effect.
And then he said, Josh Barnett's a serious opponent.
He's a former UFC champion.
I really don't know what I'm going to do.
That's what he said. I'm just fucking around.
He's fine. I'm going to be a badass.
There's going to be a rumble. I'm going to kill him.
I don't know what I'm really going to do.
He said he's actually really good and I don't know what I'm going to do.
February 11th,
2016, cops get a tip
that Miller is driving drunk in Irvine,
California.
They bring more than one officer to him.
There was 15 officers and a canine unit when they heard it was him.
They're like, SWAT team, eight-minute scuffle, church,
let's make sure we do this correctly here.
They saw that Miller had obvious signs of intoxication
and failed several field sobriety tests.
He's arrested on suspicion of DUI.
He was a bit mouthy but didn't punch anybody or spit on anybody or, God forbid, pee on anybody.
He was cited and released.
March 16, 2016, he pleads not guilty to spray-painting graffiti at the tattoo parlor
and breaking their speakers here.
He has five other cases pending against him, his bail was set at one million back then.
Wow.
He's still going here.
Now, in an interview with in 2016, he says he's being persecuted.
The interview starts out just like Jesus.
Just like before.
Yeah.
Just just jaw.
He says God is love forgiven.
He says the guy answers the phone or the guy says he answers the phone,
and Miller says, quote, Taliban, Taliban, Taliban, Taliban.
What the fuck is that?
I feel like they've been forgotten about.
I really think the Taliban, everybody needs to remember they're still out there.
That's how he started an interview.
Then he said, in their own words, quote, I got a bad rap and everybody lies and lies and lies.
These lies are definitely hard to scrape off.
They're like barnacles at the bottom of a pirate ship.
I'm saying that my life is a pirate ship and there's some barnacles to be scraped off.
I just think in time people will realize that all of this media hype is just garbage.
I never said that I was a librarian.
I never said that I was a priest or the greatest Samaritan.
But, man, I do my part and it's being overlooked.
Okay.
You do your part to be entertaining as fuck by peeing on women like an asshole.
Wow.
So May 21st, 2016, he's scheduled to fight Luke Barnett, like we talked about here.
He's scheduled to fight Barnett.
He weighs in 24 pounds overweight.
Wow.
Not even fucking close.
He is boozing.
Not even close.
That is booze weight.
You know it is.
He says that it happened on the weigh-in day. He said it's the jet lag. He said the jet lag. I gained
24 pounds on a plane. You know when you fly east, you gain an hour and weight, right?
So we're flying into Chicago. We get two hours and 20 pounds, right? Is that how it works?
The fuck's that? It's jet lag.
I'm going to take a nap and this will all come off.
He said if you're trying to make weight and you're within about seven pounds, do not buy a bunch of liters of water and leave them by your bed because you too will step on the scale grossly overweight.
So he said it's all water.
24 pounds of water.
A gallon of liquid weighs seven pounds.
Think about that shit.
He has three gallons of water. Three and a half gallons of water inside him.
In his stomach.
He would drown if you drank that much.
You can't drink that much.
Your stomach would fucking flop.
So he's forced to fight a different guy in a non-weight matter fight. A fatter guy?
A fatter guy.
It's Venator FC3 Palhares versus Meek.
That's a brilliant way to get out of getting your ass kicked by Barnett.
I would say.
No shit.
Yeah, no shit.
He fights Mattia Chiaviglione of Italy.
He's a 14-2 career fighter.
This is his second-to-last fight.
At 310 in round two, there's a submission.
Jason gets caught in the rear naked choke and loses to this fucking bump.
14-2, but this is his second-to-last fight.
This is Jason's last fight. Wow. He is 28-10 career. He might fight again, but this is the second to the last fight. This is Jason's last fight.
Wow.
He has 28 and 10 career.
He might fight again, but this is the last fight for now.
Let's have an explanation on why he thinks he's been arrested so much.
Okay.
He says it's because of the media.
No.
Everybody likes to point the finger and say I'm a bad guy.
It's the media.
Nope.
So he needs to start a podcast at this point.
Oh, yes.
He starts a podcast late 2016. It's the media. So he needs to start a podcast at this point. Oh, yes. He starts a podcast late 2016.
It's the Mayhem podcast.
From what I saw, there's five episodes, and they have 12 iTunes reviews, four and a half stars.
So we're crushing you, Mayhem.
Eat shit.
Have that.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
We're better than you at something.
I peed right on him on that one.
We're peeing all over him with our iTunes reviews.
He has 284,000 followers on Twitter, though, this guy.
Wow.
So he's crushing me there.
July 11, 2016.
You think the arrests are over?
Fuck no.
You know what, though?
He's been amassing those for eight years, and he's been on TV, where his Twitter handle
was fucking exposed, for sure.
Yeah.
July 11, 2016, he's at the Saddle Ranch Chop House in Costa Mesa, California.
Oh, for Christ's sake.
The douchiest fucking restaurant on earth. He's at the Saddle Ranch Chop House in Costa Mesa, California. Oh, for Christ's sake. Police are called.
The douchiest fucking restaurant on earth.
Well, police are called when a heavily intoxicated Miller got in an argument with two women.
Yeah.
One of them slapped him.
Of course.
And that prompted him to grab her leg and push her aside.
Slam her into the fucking bowl of fucking macaroni and cheese.
Yeah.
A security guard tried to physically restrain Miller and eventually handcuffed him until
police arrived.
Then when police arrived, Miller spit at the officer.
That's our boy.
Who showed up and he is booked on public intoxication and assault on an officer.
The police said, quote, he'd apparently gotten into some kind of argument with a couple of
women and was in the process of assaulting them when security tackled him to the ground.
Then they said, while being detained, he spit on one of the officers, which is disgusting.
I agree with that, sir.
Take on it.
His face was bleeding from being tackled.
They took him to the hospital and then took him to the, they're like, he's fine.
Get his ass in there.
Any cut's going to make him bleed.
He'll be fine, man.
He'll be fine.
It's at this point, finally, that he loses his contract as a commentator with Fox Sports.
They put up with all the peeing and everything else there.
But don't spit on a cop at Saddle Ranch.
Don't do that.
January 20, 2017, trial begins for domestic assault.
This is the two ones lumped into one here.
Before the trial starts, there's a motion granted from Miller's camp to drop a stalking charge against him.
They get rid of that.
And then here is what, Jesus Christ almighty, here is what his lawyer told the jury about what's going to happen in this trial.
Wow.
Quote, their sex life.
You're going to hear about it.
They exchanged photos.
You're going to see some pictures.
They're known in the colloquial as dick pics.
You're going to see pictures of Mr. Miller's penis in this case.
They have a provocative sex life.
Threesomes, other women, sex parties, rough sex, choking, peeing, golden showers.
Golden showers where someone gets urinated on, in case you didn't know.
They have some of that.
That night, Mr. Miller urinates on her in the shower.
He pees on her.
They do a little of that.
They have some fun. If you're a jury, you're like, I hit the fucking on her in the shower. He pees on her. They do a little of that. They have some fun.
If you're a jury, you're like, I hit the fucking jackpot in this case.
This is going to be great.
The lawyer actually had to say they have a little fun.
They have a little fun.
They're into that sort of thing.
Wow.
That's awesome.
He's actually defending the man saying this is what they both get off on.
They're both into this.
Miller says that she attacked him.
She's like, it was all him.
She said she threw a bottle at him, missed him, but damaged the wall.
He said she fucked up my drywall a little.
He says that in court.
He messed up my drywall a little, man.
He goes, I don't know what that was even all about, man.
I thought it was going to break the TV when she winged it at me.
It messed up the drywall a little bit.
He says that in court. Then he says that she jumped on his back and ripped his
shirt and tried choking him. He says, quote, I taught her how to do that choke. She got sloppy
with the legs as she tried to take me down and slipped off, bumping her head on the concrete.
I asked her, did she want to go to the hospital? Because it was a good fall? And he said, I was shocked she took it to that level.
She's strong for a girl.
And then he also said, I could see her doing big things in MMA.
He's saying this in court.
Yeah.
This whole thing's a fucking mess.
They're talking about the whole shit.
They're showing all the social media posts.
This is just a complete Jerry Springer show going on in a courtroom here.
They paint her as lying and manipulative.
They say she has two tumultuous relationships over another relationship.
She's a complete mess, the whole deal.
He faces five years and ten months in jail because of these.
Holy shit.
All stemming from these.
So February 1st, 2017 is the verdict uh jury
deliberates for two hours and they come back uh with not guilty wow two felony counts of domestic
battery with corporal injury and a misdemeanor charge of violating a protection order wow that's
the best lawyer's money he ever spent that is amazing he said in their own words quote i just
feel tremendous. Justice was
served. The system worked kind of slowly,
but it worked. I feel like the world's
opened up to me now. I feel like things are finally
cleared up for mayhem. I'd rather
stay in the cage than in the courtroom.
Yeah.
April 7th, 2017.
He's in court. Faces
up to 21 years in prison for
domestic violence. Wow.
This is for a bunch of charges, vandalizing, assaulting police, the SWAT incident, everything lumped into one.
He ends up getting a punishment out of all this.
He's trying to plead all of this, gets the punishment of three years probation and 100 days in jail.
But, quote, I had a lot of problems being known as a celebrity in Orange County. I felt that I was
unfairly targeted. My
God, you just got so
listen, I would say you understand
the black man's plight.
Again, I would like to remind you
there is no black man that's getting
the treatment that you just got. That is the nicest
sentence ever. I would fucking
say so. Apart from OJ. Apart from that,
that was wow jesus christ
you got taken they were so lenient on you you fucking dipshit he says he says in their own words
quote i have done a lot of things i regret i wasn't thinking during those times i take
responsibility for my stupidity you can't rough up the police with no consequences i'll serve my
time with my head held high i'll straighten up up and fly right. You're not serving any time, you dipshit.
In 2017, he says, May of 2017, the next month, his life is back on track.
He's got a huge involvement in the Stop Before You Start program that travels to schools
to speak with kids about making good choices and promoting open communication with their
parents.
Stop Before You Start, like drugs or sexual assault? Everything. He says, quote, I speak. Pissing on women? making good choices and promoting open communication with their parents. Stop before you start.
Like drugs or sexual assault?
Everything.
He says, quote, I speak at high schools about the dangers of drugs and alcohol.
You have to educate the kids.
They're on the internet seeing God knows what.
I think having a real face of somebody who's been through some bad times and understands
what that leads to will help them.
They're on the internet watching Bryant Gumbel with you sitting next to him smoking weed on camera.
And that's the guy that's speaking to my kids?
Quote, we are trying to usher in a new generation
of great Americans such as himself.
What a fucking asshole.
Holy fucking shit.
And he says everything's going great.
His business is going great.
He says he's a born showman.
He wants to promote fights.
He's doing speeches.
He's all over the place, man.
He says, I feel the love from the Internet.
Yeah.
Here's going to be two hours on the Internet that's not love.
Not love at all.
Well, here's his final.
Let's let him have the last word on this.
In their own words, quote, I have shifted my focus toward promotions and bringing up the next generation, but I'm not ruling it out.
Fighting, that is.
I love fighting, and I will fight in a Denny's parking lot for the right amount of money.
I believe you.
I believe that.
It's just a matter of doing the right deal and putting on the show people want to see.
That's what's important to me.
2017, he's in a movie called The Beautiful Ones.
The main characters are no one, really,
but it has Eric Roberts and Ed Lauder in it.
He plays a guy named Pauly.
Description is, quote, a mob family
Shylock falls in love with the wrong woman during
a turf war and has to use his unique
skills to rescue her from the same people
he once called brothers. Eric Roberts, right?
Eric Roberts. He's also in a movie called
Savage Dog this year.
They're both the same producer-director,
a guy named Jesse V. Johnson.
Somebody likes him.
Jesse V. Johnson.
This one is, quote,
a story set in Indochina in 1959,
a land beyond rule and a time without mercy
and the birth of a legend.
1959 China, is that what you said?
Indochina, Indochina.
Okay, that's a land beyond rule.
Land beyond rule, Dad.
Will not be ruled.
Especially not by this guy.
Guys, that's Jason Mayhem Wacken Miller.
What a goddamn...
He's going to be arrested again.
Oh, God, soon.
This was just a couple months ago he was doing that.
He'll get drunk and get arrested again.
He'll pee on somebody.
Don't you even worry about that.
He'll beat up a woman at Saddle Ranch.
That restaurant is so fucking stupid yeah it's just it's it's just uh it's a good good place to spit on a police officer
miles of patrons that drove their lifted white chevy pickup truck to their calvin peeing on
right and the fucking pair of balls hanging from the fucking trailer hitch if you like that when
you're done at the saddle ranch place there with your white sunglasses hop on itunes give us an itunes review five stars would be wonderful tell us you're done at the Saddle Ranch place there with your white sunglasses, hop on iTunes. Give us an iTunes review.
Five stars would be wonderful. Tell us your following
instructions, following directions.
Patreon, huge for us, guys. It's so
big. Thank you guys so much. You guys are amazing
this week. We're going to have a long list of
these people. Patreon.com slash Crime
and Sports, or of course, one-time donations
at PayPal using our email address.
Crimeandsports at gmail.com.
That's where you can email us.
You can also get a hold of us on social media, Instagram and Twitter at Crime and Sports
and Facebook.com slash Crime and Sports.
And let's talk about these people, Jimmy.
Hit us with the list of the finest goddamn people I know in this world.
The people responsible for us trashing Mayhem Miller this week. Who there? Our Courtney Pentecost, Alexi Makinen.
Makinen.
Okay.
Alexi.
Whatever.
Alexi Makinen.
Andrew Decatur, Jared Howhey or Howhey or Howey?
I'm not sure.
H-O-U-G-H-E-Y.
You fucking try to pronounce that shit.
A-P-P or App?
I'm not sure.
Krista Fleischer. Krista Fleischer.
Krista Fleischer. That's it. Jessica Landren
and Christiane Costaldi came
through again this week. Thank you both so, so much.
Jesus Christ, thank you. Melissa Butler,
John Bickness, Paul Schultz,
Laura Sinclair, Blair Holderby.
Laura Sinclair, by the way, came to the improv
in Hollywood. Thank you, Laura. Awesome. Thank you.
Melissa Hoover. Luis
Figueroa also came to the improv with some friends.
That was nice to see you guys.
Sarah Suong.
Or Suong.
That's the same thing, Suong.
David Edmonds.
Jose Olivares.
That's Olivares.
It looks like Olivares.
Angela Banks Mason.
Sarah Diaz-Handino.
Diaz-Handino.
That was...
I fucking did that great.
That's not pretty good.
I like that one.
Denise Sanchez, Kellen Engler.
Sure, it's not right.
No, probably.
Aaron Dombrowski, Jessica Paredes.
Not sure.
Kevin Teixeira.
Teixeira.
Kevin Teixeira Art and Stuff.
So find him online.
Yes.
Give him money.
Give him business.
Jordan Bodell, J.D. Harper, Tristan McKay, Alice or Alicia Smith.
Was it Smith?
It is Smith.
Katia Padova.
I almost had it.
Katia Padovani.
Yeah, that's it.
Pickles.
Catherine Sawinski.
Pickles and Catherine Sawinski are two different people.
Craig Ventura.
Loves the Mexican pimp and shawarma man.
Hey.
Mark Williams. Laura Willis. Amy D'Angelo, Flavia Perez, Andrew Pearson, Scarlett Charlton,
Lindsey Ray, Blaze Cruz, Louise, or Louise.
It's Louise.
It's definitely Louise.
All right.
Thank you, Louise.
I'll buy that.
Thank you, Louise.
Nilou Rastanjani.
That's fucking fantastic.
Not too shabby.
Nilou Rastanjani.
That's fucking fantastic.
Not too shabby.
Aaron Anderson.
Laura Christensen.
Travis Mays.
Corey Gritton.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gritton.
Gayton.
You've said it. That's an A, not an R.
Guyton.
Guyton.
Yeah.
You said it every way it could possibly be pronounced by anyone ever.
Julie Smallman.
Leslie Green.
Beth Burleson. Joy Looper, or Looper Joy.
I'm not sure which one that is.
It's got to be her first name is Joy.
It can't be Looper.
Yeah, no.
Alex Marchi, or Manchi.
I write like a two-year-old.
Don Gordon, Katie Heisel, Tiffany Daubert, Torin Baccarud, Mary Grace Hewlett.
That's the one.
That's got to be it.
Cassandra Walters, Rachel Bridge, David Edmond, Sarah Beamish, Rebecca Lemmer,
Taryn Winnie, Manny Lemus, Andy Reynolds, Mike Kennedy, and Stuart Davies.
You guys are fucking producers.
Go make an IMDb page.
Make this show happen, literally. Because you're producers of
Crime and Sports. Thank you guys so much. Literally
it couldn't happen without you guys.
We can't do this without you. Thank you guys so much.
And all of you listening, thank you so, so much.
This has been an amazing ride and we
really appreciate you guys. What if these fine people wanted to talk to you?
Like, kind of talk to you. How would they do that?
Correct my pronunciation. At Wisman Sucks.
W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks
on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.
Find me and play along.
It's terrific.
I love hearing from you guys.
It's awesome.
And I am at Jimmy P is funny.
Find me on there.
Or you can copy and paste my last name for other platforms of various types.
Either way, get a hold of me.
I love hearing from you guys.
You guys are really cool.
And we're just loving the interaction.
Really?
We're loving the ride.
We're enjoying this whole thing.
We're enjoying having fun with you guys. It's awesome.
And we're never going to stop having fun with you guys.
Live from the Crime and Sports Studios,
we will see you next week. Bye!
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