Crime in Sports - #92 - Such Is Annihilation - The Chaoticness of Ben Cousins

Episode Date: November 7, 2017

This week, we shuffle down the path of pure chaos, with a self destructive, drug addled lunatic, with an unquenchable desire to be the best. Whether it be in the Australian Football League, or in the much more challenging world of smoking as much meth as possible, swimming across rivers to get away from police, or scaring his wife, and kids with his inexplicable behavior. His run of arrests is legendary, including the most amazing airport arrest, featuring a simply awful hiding place!Hop the fence of a military installment, take police on a slow speed chase, and do as many drugs as you can possibly cram into your body with Ben Cousins!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at...patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] Tickets To Upcoming Live Shows...CHICAGO 12/14Get tickets to Crime In Sports LIVE in Chicago on December 14 at http://www.lh-st.com/Shows/12-14-2017+Crime+In+Sports+LiveGet tickets for the LIVE Small Town Murder on the same night at http://www.lh-st.com/Shows/12-14-2017+Small+Town+Murder+LiveBOSTON 2/18Crime In Sports: https://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1589056?_ga=2.84751449.1576137293.1510029131-53581790.1510029128&__utma=1.876925325.1510029128.1510029128.1510029128.1&__utmb=1.2.10.1510029128&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1510029128.1.1.utmcsr=yahoo|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=-&__utmk=255437192Small Town Murder:https://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1589061?_ga=2.53771112.1576137293.1510029131-53581790.1510029128&__utma=1.876925325.1510029128.1510029128.1510029128.1&__utmb=1.2.10.1510029128&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1510029128.1.1.utmcsr=yahoo|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=-&__utmk=255437192DETROIT 2/16Stand Up Show w/ Dan Cumminshttps://www.ticketweb.com/event/dan-cummins-james-pietragallo-the-magic-bag-tickets/7823825?pl=magicbag Check out or site: truecrimecomedyteam.comAll web support by Web and Writerwebandwriter.com or Facebook.com/webandwriterContact us on...twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/crimeinsports   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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So fun. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you folks so much for joining us. So fun. My name is James Petrigallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Wissman. Thank you, folks, so much for joining us. God, I'm excited. I can't tell you how excited we are for this week because this is a crazy, this is one of the most fun episodes I've ever put together where I'm like, we're going to have so much fun with this episode because it is batshit crazy. Right. And it's a sport we don't know, which is always fun.

It's a crazy one. Before we get to that, a couple of things. First of all, I want to announce to you guys a couple of dates quickly. I just want to announce, obviously, December 14th, Chicago, Illinois, at Lincoln Hall. Get your tickets now. Please, pack that place. Let's sell this thing out. Seriously. Let's show these venues that you guys are willing to go see stuff that you like.

Right. And you don't need Bruce Bruce. Right. Or whatever. Whatever the fuck they put in that party. Whatever shit magician they put in or ventriloquist or something. Fuck. Get the things you like.

So please do that. That's insanely helpful. And now we have some new dates here. February the 18th. Yes. As we announced last week. But February the 18th, Boston, Massachusetts. We are coming for you, Boston.

Laugh Boston. We will be there. February the 18th, Boston, Massachusetts. We are coming for you, Boston. Laugh, Boston. We will be there February the 18th. Two shows. Crime and Sports is the early show. Small Town Murder is the late show. 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. Absolutely. We will post links to all of this on both our social media and in the show description here. So you can just click on it.

Come out. Let's pack Boston. That's going to be a blast. We can't wait. We're coming to the East Coast in winter. Cut us some slack and buy some tickets, guys. And also Detroit. Two days before that. Detroit, February the 16th. Detroit. Detroit, Michigan. We will be there not doing podcasts. Well, not

at the moment. We will be doing stand-up. There's a stipulation to this. There's a stipulation. We're going to be doing stand-up with Dan Cummins. Dan Cummins is going to be headlining of the fabulous Time Suck podcast. And we're also going to be on the show. It's the three of us. At Magic Bag. At the Magic Bag in Chicago.

Not Chicago. In Detroit, Michigan. Sorry, Detroit. And so you guys, buy those tickets, please, because we have to sell. Apparently, it's not our deal. We don't make the deals. But Dan has informed us that if we sell a good amount of tickets in the first four weeks here that this show is for sale, that we will add another show that evening that will not be stand-up. It will be a podcast of the three of us doing a very special kind of a hybrid thing.

That's going to be amazing and so much fun. So please, you've got to buy the tickets for one to get the other, though. Please do that. We want to be transparent with you guys. You guys have given us so much. Yes, exactly. So we're going to be honest. And you guys have been fantastic to us.

We need that show to sell or else that's not going to happen. That's what the deal is. If we sell that show enough, then they'll add the other show. Other two, doesn't matter. Podcast, buy tickets. We're going to be in Boston and Chicago. And Detroit, we're going to be there. We're going to be there, too, and probably on our own later on in the year.

And we're going to be, guys, we've heard from all of you, and we know we're going to be in New York. We've got Philly on the list. Florida wants us. D.C., Atlanta, Seattle. Seattle. Dallas, I think, too. We have a bunch on the list. So many people want us.

Minneapolis, I saw. So we have a bunch that we're going to try to get to. But never mind that. Guys, thank you guys this much for your iTunes reviews this week. Thank you. Honestly, you guys blow us away with that. Your support is so appreciated. It really is.

It's incredible. And those iTunes reviews really drive us up the chart. And on a business end, they're pretty damn nice to have. And they really, really do a lot for us. And they make us feel pretty good, too, that you guys would take the time to do that. You don't look at a podcast and you see that it has very few reviews. You're like, I'm not going to give that a shot. Exactly.

So you guys have really come through, and thank you so, so much. Yeah, we're getting a really respectable level of reviews where we look like we're doing amazing. So thank you, guys. We appreciate that so much. Also, if you need to do a little bit more, and God, we appreciate this even more, you can go to patreon.com slash crime and sports. You can make a donation there, and we are so thankful. I can't even get the words out of how thankful we are for every penny that you guys give us, honestly. You can also go to PayPal, and you can make a one-time donation using our email address, crimeandsports at gmail.com.

And that, too. And that too. Every bit counts. We are blown away by it, honestly. When you guys give us a dollar, we don't sit there and go, oh, what are we going to do with a dollar? We literally go, that person, that's amazing. We're both like that. We really, really feel that.

James texted me. Did you see that? We got another one. We got another one. This is crazy. It's amazing, guys. It's amazing. And thank you, guys.

And if you want to join the fun, you can do Crime and Sports or at Crime and Sports on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. Find us everywhere. Our email address, crimeandsportsgmail.com if you want to drop us a line. You can do all of that, but never mind all that shit, Jimmy. Never mind all of that. We have something very special today.

We are going to do a new sport. We're going across the world. We're going down under. Going to Australia this week. Oh, wonderful. I've missed it so much. Check out an Australian rules football player. Oh, shit. This is what, our third trek over to the other side here?

We did Evangelos Goussis. We did Kelly Lane. And this is number three, I believe, in Australia. And I've had a lot of fun in the Australian episodes. You guys got a funny-ass culture and I love it, man believe, in Australia. And I've had a lot of fun in the Australian episodes. You guys got a funny-ass culture, and I love it, man. It's beautiful. You guys are cool and crazy, and I really enjoy it. Sure, that too.

Why not? It is. Everything just makes me think of Nicole Kidman. It's all just fucking beautiful. Jesus, she can't even go out in the sun that early. She's a burn-up. No, she can't. I'll lather her up.

Let's talk about somebody. You want to talk about somebody sexy? I got somebody sexy for you. even go out in the sun that girl she's a burn up like a so uh uh let's i'll lather her up let's talk about somebody you want to talk about somebody sexy i got somebody sexy for you it's benjamin luke cousins all right cousins have you heard of ben cousins just i've gotten i've gotten so many emails yes we have gotten a lot and i found this guy like a year ago and he was he keeps fucking up he was still he was still percolating you know what what I mean? He was marinating. He wasn't ripe yet. He's ripe now, boy. It's good shit. So Ben Cousins, Australian Rules Football, which we'll get into that.

I won't get too much into it because there's honestly so much crime. We don't have time for a lot of sport exploring this week. I knew he was a fuck-up. We will go into it a little bit enough to sound like idiots and have you guys laugh at us. I'll go into it a little bit enough to sound like idiots and have you guys laugh at us. And I will do that for you because I'm sure any Australian football fans have waited for us to sound like idiots about their sport. It's all footy. Oh, God.

The number of times I have heard and read the word footy in the past fucking week, I want to break both of my footies because I can't take it anymore. I can't take the word footy anymore. It is a silly word. Footy, footy, footy, and it's like, stop saying that. It drives me nuts. You're going to the footy. Oh, my God. And the game's the footy, the sport's footy, the ball's a footy. It's all footy.

It's all footy. It's like smirk. It's a universal word for that. It's footy. Can I have a glass of footy? Yeah. And they go, yeah, sure. Here's some footy.

That's what you mean. Yeah, here's some footy. That'll be 37 footy. Here you go. Hold on. I got it in my footy. Wait a minute. Let me pull know that's what you mean yeah here's some that'll be 37 footy hold on i got it in my footy wait a minute let me pull that money out for you ridiculous ben is born june 30th 1978 okay uh he is born in i'm gonna say this wrong right off the bat let's do it he's born in i don't know if it's g long or g long victoria i'm gonna go with g long it's uh g e e l o n g g e yeah g e it's got to be g long yeah but i feel i don't know victoria it might be long god damn it i don't know he didn't play for that team so i didn't get to hear their pronunciation i'm sure i could write

to several people right now and they would know but you know what it's much? It's much more fun. Let's be wrong for two hours, Jimmy. I like that much better. But Victoria, it's just there on the southeast side of Australia. It's beautiful down there. It's nice. That's a nice country down there. Near the Gold Coast. We've looked at that.

That's true. We've looked at that stuff from Small Town Murder. We know all about Australia. And I know how many provinces you have. It's broken up into, was it six or seven states? There are six. Six. But then Tasmania is in there, too. Then you've got New Zealand up there. it six or seven states there are six six but then tasmania is

right too as a it's never got new zealand up there we're way off base okay uh he's born in victoria he's 5 10 172 so this is what's funny too about australia australian rules football i used to watch it when i was a kid because it was on espn constantly like in the late 80s uh just like it's you know two in the afternoon you turn it on. It was Australian Rules Football. Because it's like 7 a.m. there. Well, it's just on all the time because they needed programming and they filled it with shit. It was like a tractor pull followed by Aussie football here. And then you'd get middle of the night.

If I woke up at 2 in the morning and turned on the TV, it would be Australian Rules Football there. So I watched the fuck out of it. It would be Australian rules football there. So I watched the fuck out of it. I've probably watched, and I'm being honest, conservatively 100 hours of Australian rules football in my life. That's pretty incredible. Maybe even more. I really used to watch it all the time.

I was just a sports junkie when I was a little kid. And there's no American sports on at 2 in the morning. So I'm like, OK. And this time of year, it gets pretty bleak. I mean, you've got basketball just starting up. And football, it's damn bleak. I mean, you got basketball just starting up, and football's all, it's damn near over. This summer, well, their sport, their Australian rules football is played in their winter, which is our summer.

Okay. Because they call our winter summer. Well, because that's what it is. January summer to them, and then this is a winter sport, their winter, our summer. Right. That's when it's played.

The championship's in September. Got it. So that's how that works here. But as I'm watching this as a kid kid watch 100 to 150 hours of it i have never figured it out at all i still have no fucking idea what they're doing this is what it looks like to me okay and then we'll get into ben cousins here this is what the sport looks like and i know that we'll find i have some rules and shit but it it looks like a bunch of white guys, and everybody's white. That's the other thing. When you watch this, it's remarkable.

You go, wow, one NFL running back would have 18 times the stats any of these guys have at all. Just blowing through people, thighs the size of tree trunks, just running a 4-3. They're like Ben Cousins, and they're like, what an athlete. And I'm like, that guy wouldn't, he couldn't play on a practice squad for any NFL team at all. Any professional sports team. They do the Aboriginal games, too, though, with this, right? With Australian Rules Football? You're asking the wrong guy.

So it's just Aboriginal people and then stars of this shit, too. But I will say, too, there's not a lot of people in Australia. Australia is not a 350 million person country, so it's really not their fault. They only have a limited amount of people to choose from. So I guess that's what it is. And most of them are white. It's a very white country. The English went there and nobody really has sailed down that direction.

And even some of the fucking black people look white. Some of the Aboriginals look like white people. It's true. It's crazy. Ben was born in Geelong, like we said. Geelong, whatever it is. His parents are Stephanie and Brian. Brian Cousins is a very well-known... That sounded terrible

saying the fucking black people. I got what you were saying. It's like the Bill Burr joke. You're right. That's exactly what it is. It's stuck in my head and struck me as like, dude, you sound like a dick right now. These fucking black people over there. I don't like the way they look, let me tell you right now.

They don't look black enough. They're a little too white for my taste. They're not black enough for me. I like to be able to pick my blacks out. I like my blacks black, okay? I like them black. That's how it is. Don't milk up my black.

What an asshole I sound like. You caught your mistake and we know what you meant i just wanted to make sure that didn't linger out there so that people are listening going are you gonna address that fuck face wow he's a real dick this guy whoa jimmy take it easy take it easy good god what the hell is wrong with it jimmy he's on one today jesus somebody fuck his sister or what happened? What's going on here? Jimmy's got some deep-seated shit that I didn't know anything about.

Good God. Oh, Christ. All right. Let's move on. So his father, Brian, played for Geelong or Geelong, their football team. His dad's very famous. His dad is a well-known football player. So he grew up in the football environment.

All he ever cared about was football. He went to the matches with his dad. We'll get into the whole deal. The Ken Griffey Jr. goes to crime kind of thing? It's kind of a thing. If Ken Griffey Jr. was a complete fucking disaster, that's what you'd end up with here. When Ben was 18 months old,

the family moved to Perth. Moved over to Perth. I guess they were originally from there. On the other side of the fucking world. Going over to the West Coast. That's the other thing, too. We've had people say, why don't you guys come to Australia? We're like, oh, calm down. Where? Come to Perth. Come to Sydney. Those are way far away from each other. We're going to have to put one right in the fucking

middle. We're going to have to pick one of those cities and you guys can make it. It's a shorter distance from Perth to Sydney than it is from Phoenix to Sydney. So work it out for us eventually. There's no power in that fucking center of the country. No. We'll set up a PA in the middle of the desert. We don't give a shit. We're not picky. We're good

people here. Announce it through one of those fucking buzz fucking horns or whatever that's called. Bullhorn. Yeah. What's that thing called? What? The Australian bullhorn. You know what I'm talking about. Oh Jesus. I don't know. What's that thing called? I forget. I have no idea what that's called. Bullhorn, yeah. What's that thing called? What? The Australian bullhorn. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, Jesus. I don't know.

I don't know what it's called. Right now there's people in Australia going, it's this asshole. I know exactly what you're talking about. And we'll know by the time you hear this, so don't tweet it at us. Thank you. I have to say that every time. We'll know. Trust me.

We'll get it. We'll get it. Because we'll probably Google it. And if not. Didgeridoo. Didgeridoo. Didgeridoo. What?

I didn't even Google that. A diddler poo. One of those. So he's raised. He has younger siblings. He's the oldest of four. OK. It's Matthew, Sophie and Melanie are his younger youngest siblings.

Like we said, his mother is Brian. His mother is Brian. His mother is Stephanie. His father is Brian. His mother is a? His mother is Stephanie. His father is Brian. His mother is a very, she's a stout woman. Stout woman, nice mustache on her. She takes no shit from anybody. Eastern European, you know how that goes.

She's very, very strong. So much hair in her armpits, it looks like she's smuggling a squirrel. That's the one right there. Brian actually was a champion. One of his teams won the championship when he played. So that affords you some amount of fame. His father said, quote, footy is very much a family game. And he also wanted to go to footy every time I was going. And he explains he wanted to go play.

He calls it going to footy, which is hilarious. Well, I guess people say going to basketball. I don't think you'd say that. I say I take my son to swim, but I also say I take him to his swim meet. I take him to swim at night, but he's actually swimming. He's not footying. I don't get it. Yeah, that's what I mean.

It's a weird. It's bizarre. It's a smurf. I'm not taking my son to basketball. I'm taking him to play basketball. It's a Swiss Army knife word. That's all it is. That's all it is.

He's using a screwdriver at this word. That's all it is. He's using a screwdriver at this moment. That's all, man. Brian explained that Ben would hang out with the players every time he went and he would kind of fit right in. He'd be around kicking a ball around or jumping on somebody's back or do all of that. His mother says he is 100% like

crazy for everything he does. If he was into He-Man, he's going to be the most into He-Man of everything and he's going to be the best He-Man, he's going to be the most into He-Man of everything, and he's going to be the best He-Man collector there is. And if he's into footy, he's going to practice, and it's all he's going to do. He's going to footy like nobody's ever footied. No one's ever footied. He's got a very addictive personality when it comes to anything, good things and bad

things, which is going to bite him in the ass later. For now, it's great. Good thing you never sucked a cock, huh? That's right. Oh, boy, forget it. For now, it's and bad things. We're just going to bite him in the ass later. For now, it's great. Good thing you never sucked a cock, huh? That's right. Oh, boy, forget it. For now, it's just work ethic. You're like, this is great. Look at this kid go, you know?

We have an in their own words here. All right. Let's get an in their own Australian words with no accent, I promise. In their own words, quote, you know, I look back now and I realize probably what a nuisance I was to the players. Always had a footy in my hand and I think probably developed a nuisance I was to the players. Always had a footy in my hand. And I think probably developed a lot of the game and formed the intention of wanting to play at an elite level at that age, watching my dad play. So there you go.

Always got a footy in my hand, which sounds like a severed foot is in his hand and he's playing with it like a psychopath. In 1989, he appears on an AFL commercial in Australian football. He appears in a commercial. He's just this little kind of blondish kid, a little kind of chubby face. He's like, you know, what is he, 10 at that point? It's just touting the greatness of the game. Oh, you come to the footy and blah, blah, blah. And he says footy about 600 times.

And then he says, you can do this. You can be part of the action. And he says, you can even win a new footy oh he holds up like this footy and he says quote when you go to state league games you'll be part of the action you'll get to listen to the coaches you'll get to uh indistinguishable australian i don't know what he said it was some very australian word that's the other thing here is so many interviews it is so fucking hard to understand what the hell some of these people are saying, especially when he's high on ice or fucking shit face. Very difficult to understand what he's talking about. Spoiler alert, he gets high on ice a lot. So we got that happening for you here.

Well, they talk really fucking fast, too. They talk really fast and they say, and they say uh they say you know constantly yeah it's like a it's a weird fucking thing that they do and it's also like when i talk to but i've talked to busby on the phone before and i say say that again like all the time yeah it's hard and busby's is pretty clear so it's a clear thing but this he his is pretty clear but like i said when there's certain it's hard but i couldn't understand what the hell he said he was talking fast and it's some indistinguishable shit he says and you can even win a new footy uh the best part is you get to play around a little that's the thing here uh mother said he was a straight a student because he wanted to be good

at school so straight a addictive personality throws himself in with reckless abandon crazy person with everything he does. Father here, Brian, says that football was everything for Ben. The practice, the games, it's all he wanted to do. His only goal in life was play Australian rules football, doesn't give a shit. That's it. Single focus, much like these kids that play tennis or the kids that play hockey or these younger sports where the kids start playing pro when they're 16 and something like that's that's you have to be like that and that's

what he's all about and a lot of his younger life i got out of the documentary that was on uh australian tv a two-part documentary on him how long ago uh 2010 oh they don't have any of this should they have none of it there's just the well there's some of it and then we get to the crazy part like you think end of the documentary you're's some of it, and then we get to the crazy part. Oh, great. End of the documentary, you're like, wow, that's crazy. And then you're like, he didn't even start being crazy yet. That's practically pre-Grace, for Christ's sake.

That's way back there. So, yeah, these, I don't know what it is, but these kids really have to feed their something that does need for this shit. I think the countries need more ways to get famous. Maybe that'll help. There's like two ways to be famous, probably. That'd be helpful. Yeah. Maybe if, like here, you could be a fucking anything more ways to get famous. Maybe that'll help. There's like two ways to be famous probably. That'd be helpful. Yeah. Maybe if like here you could be a fucking anything and you can be famous.

It's ridiculous. Look at us. We're practical. People know who we are. That's sad. Dude, I got a text message from my wife's friend. Oh, you're saying that. Her fucking uncle.

She was telling her uncle that she was going to come to that we were coming to Chicago and that there was because we're we were bringing a podcast there. And he was like, I listened to this podcast. And she was like, that's the one. And he lost his fucking mind. That's so funny. He's a riverboat captain up there. So if you're listening.

That's crazy and funny. We're coming to see you. There's not a lot of riverboat captains out there in the world. There's a riverboat captain that listens to us. You know there's a union and there's like 12 of them. The riverboat captain union. You know there has to be because there's just not enough of them at all. And he's in the world. There's a riverboat captain that listens to us. You know there's a union and there's like 12 of them. The riverboat captain union. You know there has to be because there's just not enough of them at all. And he's in the Midwest, so he's coming to hang out.

Nice. I love it. I love it. Now, let's talk about the Australian rules football, okay? Like I said, I watched it a ton as a kid. I never understood a fucking drop of it. It appears like several dozen, I don't know how many, but tons of them, just a sea of white people with

no pads on, wearing soccer, essentially they'll look like soccer uniforms, are running around. They're kind of lateraling and tossing this ball all around as they go. They can kick it too, right? Well, that's what we'll get to. They're tackling the shit out of each other too.

There's guys falling and ball going up. It's and a mess it looks like a disaster like some second grade game of kill the carrier and then at some point in this big is that what your school made you guys call that that's what i'm calling it now so we don't get a bunch of tweets that's what i that's what i knew you were going with that. Yeah, I'm not going to. Just so everybody knows, that's called Smear the Something. Yes, exactly. Well, that's what it was called in 1990. And then James' school made him call it Kill the Carrier. No, my school made him call it shit because I grew up in fucking elementary school in New York in the late 80s.

They were like, yeah, get the – exactly. So, no. But we know now that that's not really the best thing to say. So we're not going to say that. I almost said it too. I almost was like, hey, boom. I was converted to fourth grade again. What game is that?

I've never heard of that game. So that's what it looks like, a game of Kill the Carrier, where at some point— That is the most—I hate it. I hate that we're doing that, but whatever. We're doing it now as a joke to dance around it. If I really cared, I'd say, that's what we call to fuck off. If you don't like it, go ahead and tweet me. I'll tell you to go fuck yourself.

I don't care. I thought it was funnier to dance at one point, Gary. I'm like, fuck it. Let's dance around this. We could have a ball with this shit, which I think is more offensive, but it'll be deemed less offensive. So everybody fuck off. I don't even know.

You want to tweet me for that or you want to tweet me for that? Which one is it? Fuck. I don't even know. You want to tweet me for that or you want to tweet me for that? Which one is it? Fuck, I don't even know anymore. My head is fucking spinning. So anyway, this giant mess of a game. And then at some point, somebody runs four feet from the pile and just frantically kicks it like a punt, like drops it and kicks it and tries to, I believe, kick it through a very narrow arena league football level, narrow of uprights. And if it goes through, a man in a suit that looks like Don Fannucci from The Godfather Part II, he's walking around trying to wet his beak with a fedora and a white suit on,

will put two hands down, fingers very, I swear the guy was smoking back then. I swear he had a cigarette out of his mouth. Yeah, just no, two fingers like pointing down very sternly, like that's something. And then they all run around and cheer. That's what I saw. But I don't know if the goal is... I don't know if there's another goal

because it looks like there's like an end zone. I don't understand this fucking game at all. I think there's a point to run across a line and that gets you six points, right? Okay, well, I don't know. I think we're really – let's find out. I have it right here. You've got the rules.

Why don't we look at this right here? First of all, the length of the game is – This is ridiculous. They don't have a set length of shit. I don't – this is my problem with soccer, too. Stop it. Pick a fucking length that you're going to play and then make it in that parameter. And then when you have that extra time how about we

all know how long that's gonna be well this is not just a clock that's going and and it's like counting up to this is like what what number are we waiting for this is soccer rugby and american football mashed up in one ungodly fucking horrific but uh it's pretty crazy it looked entertaining because they're knocking into each other it's it's pretty crazy so it says they're the ones that call it's not rugby that calls them american football pussies it's these guys yeah these guys are fucking these guys wouldn't last four seconds in an american football game you could put twice as much pads on them these they're 5 10 170 pound white guys you call them pussies all you want yeah you can't norton will tackle you want yeah you can tackle you and yeah explode you at the age he is now you yeah you get tackled by a fucking six foot five 290 pound man that runs a four five forty tell you what you get

tackled by him and then tell me that it's a pussy sport tell me you don't need pads at that point you will be wearing a you'll be engulfed in nerf in five seconds if that happened. Wow. So it says the length of – Tell Joe Namath and who's the other fuck that played for the Redskins. Tell Sizeman that this is a pussy sport. Exactly. Jesus Christ. Although these guys, I don't know how they're not just constantly concussed, though, because their heads are – They are.

They're diving into it, knocking heads and shit. They're concussed. It's crazy. Oh, they are. Their heads are there. They are. And they're diving into it, knocking heads and shit. They're concussed. It's crazy.

So it says the length of an Australian football, of Australian football can vary from league to league, but it is generally around 15 to 25 minutes per quarter. Okay. Generally. In the AFL, each quarter runs for 20 minutes plus time on, which makes up for time occupied in the stoppages, such as when the ball goes out of bounds. How about stop the clock when it goes out of bounds? Pick it back up when it goes back in.

What the fuck are we doing? Do they have such limited technology? The clock doesn't have a stop button? No, it's just very casual. There's like a lot at stake here. People are betting on this shit. Make it right. You can't just say it went out of bounds for about this time,

and I'll store that in my head, and I'll add that on to the other couple times that happened. I'll just give a random number at the end and go, six minutes, go. Now the ref that's got to know the rules of the sport and keep an eye on the sport, now he's got to be a mathematician and keep track of minutes and fucking seconds.

Dude, it's nuts. A typical AFL quarter might run from 27 to 33 minutes. But, Jimmy, but maybe even longer if, for instance, injuries cause delays. So what if someone's out there for 20 minutes? What is that? AFL breaks after the first and third quarters

are six minutes with a 20-minute break at halftime. So it averages, a game averages about two and a half hours. That's in a rule book somewhere. No, it's in this rule book where I found it. They might be. There's no rule in any sport in America that has might in it. No.

Might this might happen. Who knows? It's like this happens. If this doesn't happen, you add two seconds to that. It's very football is so regimented. Yeah. I mean, you can't if you call a timeout and you don't have any in the last two minutes of the quarter, then you have a 10 second runoff.

And it's like, are you an injury? That's not. Even the 10 seconds they got it down to. Nope, you're getting 10 seconds less because it all comes down to shit. Game can't end on a defensive penalty. Can't end on a defensive penalty. It's crazy. There's tons of crazy rules here.

They're just like, nah, just run around. Fucking willy-nilly. You guys run into each other. That's fine. Everybody's white out there. Just have a good time. That's what they're doing, I feel like. It's one of those.

White people and their white privilege. It's all good. It's a sports white privilege. We'll have a good time. That's what they're doing, I feel like. It's one of those. White people and their white privilege. It's all good. Yeah, it's a sports white privilege. We'll play until somebody wins. Go. It says, like other codes of football, the way to score points is to score goals. Okay. There's two types of scores, a goal and a behind.

Okay. There's four posts at the end of each ground. Two in the middle. The two middle taller posts are the goal posts, and the two outer ones are the behind posts. Okay, that makes sense. So there is no line to get across. In the middle is the smaller one or the bigger one. It's like a two-pointer

and a three-pointer in basketball I feel like we have going on here. The area between the goal posts is the goal. Kicking the ball between these posts scores a goal, which is worth six points. There you go. There's the six. American football there. Kicking the football between a goal and the behind post scores a goal, which is worth six points. There you go. There's the six. It's like American football there. Kicking the ball between a goal and the behind post scores a behind, which constitutes a single point. Gotcha.

Okay. Now we're talking. This makes sense now. I got that. Why didn't I ever get that when I was a kid? And I knew that from reading it before, but it's still, I'm exploring it with you guys. Let's do this here. A goal or umpire judges. They're the ones that judge whether the goal is a goal or behind.

That's your Don Fonucci pointing guy with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. So they have that here. Let's get into this here. Let's get into his life and his times and his insanity here. 1995. This is his last year at Wellesley. It's a school. He's recruited to join the East Fremantle Football Club's senior side

in the West Coast Australian Football League. Okay, and that's in Perth. That's in Perth over there. I don't know if it's in Perth. We'll find out. He played for both the school and East Fremantle throughout the season. I think that is in Perth. He's busy.

So he played for both. All he cares about is football. He's into it. The Western Australian Football League is based in Perth. It's busy. So he played for both. All he cares about is football. He's into it. The Western Australian Football League is based in Perth. It's the third most popular league in the country. How about that? So that tells you it's kind of the C League, basically. It's the minors, kind of.

You go there, and then you try to catch on with a better team. Still, it's the first fucking league. That's pretty good. Yeah. While he's still at school, three of the AF team, three of the AFL teams competed to draft him. Wow. Under the father-son rule because his father played for those teams. Gotcha.

The father-son rule is a rule that allows clubs preferential recruiting access to the sons of players who have made a major past contribution to the team in AFL. The rule was first established in like the late 40s and they keep defining it and redefining it. But because of his dad, you get, it's almost like college in America. It's union nepotism. It's nepotism. It's legacy. You're like legacy, so they can draft you. They should just be honest and do that here, too, because they love former players.

Fucking love it. They love them. There's a kid playing football right now who's—never mind. You'd have to Google it. Forget it. His uncle played in the NBA. Never mind. I don't know any of the facts i just saw a story i don't know anything about it google it it's a great story top-notch podcasting jimmy i have a story let me give you the vaguest of details that aren't honestly there's a guy that plays a sport and his uncle plays another

sport google that it's a great story go ahead and and find it. It's out there, I promise. He's a kicker. Oh, that helps. That's closer. Oh, man. His uncle was a fucking, his uncle was great. His uncle was an all-star in the NBA. Interesting.

It's a fucking weird last name, like Vanderwegan, like Kiki. Yeah, like Kiki. Yeah, Vandaway. The ex-Nick here. Right. It was the G or Gee, everyone's going to be pissed about that. Long Football Club and the West Coast Eagles and the newly formed Fremantle Football Club were all after him. His father actually played 238 games in the WAFL and then 67 games for Geelong.

So his father played a long time. You don't ever put a W. I don't care if it – I realize that it means Western, but you never put a W in front of any. That means zero viewership in America. Yeah, that means, yeah, we expect it to be six foot seven women running around and slowly. Right. So no offense, WNBA, but God damn it, that shit's unwatchable as fuck. I get it.

Good for you. Good job. It's going to fold. You guys are great players and all that. Enjoy it. I can't watch that if you pay me job. It's going to fold. You guys are great players and all that. Enjoy it. I can't watch that if you pay me. Enjoy it while it lasts. Wow.

Well, actually, it's subsidized by the NBA. So it's always going to be around. It's never made a – it doesn't make profit. It doesn't make profit at all. Of course. Yeah. It's awful. 800 people in the stands.

I don't know what they're paying those women, but Jesus. That's why I always wondered how it still comes around. The NBA makes it happen. Yeah. They have to. They want it. It's good for them. They like it. Is it good for them? They're trying to get women into it. I mean, I guess it is still comes around. The NBA makes it happen. Yeah, they want it. It's good for them. They like it.

Is it good for them? They're trying to get women into it. I mean, I guess it is good for them. They're trying to get young girls into the sport. But it's also, if we fold, that's your fucking alternative. Yeah, that's what you got. Be careful. You better come to our games, fuckers.

No shit, man. What a threat. That's great, man. So, Geelong's, god damn it. Geelong, Geelong, this is really going to drive me nuts. Geelong's recruiting manager. We got to pick one and God damn it. Geelong, Geelong. This is really going to drive me nuts. Geelong's recruiting manager. We've got to pick one and agree on it.

Gee. I'm into it. Geelong. There it is. Geelong recruiting manager. I can't wait. Totally wrong. Stephen Wells said, quote, Ben barracked with Geelong and we tried everything to get him

here. However, Cousins preferred to remain based in Western Australia and chose West Coast in October 1995. So, he goes to the West Coast Eagles. Okay. That's October 1995. So he goes to the West Coast Eagles. That's his team, and his father played for the West Coast Eagles. West Coast Eagles, they have him now. In his first game, he kicks two goals. So he gets two goals, so I assume those are the six-pointers.

With 12 points on the board. Those are the six. Yeah, there you go. Those are the six-pointers. We know that. Now, in the Australian League, as we know, whenever we have a new league, I like to go over the names of teams because they're usually very amusing. The ridiculous ones.

Yeah. So we have the Adelaide Crows, the Brisbane Lions, the Carlton Blues. What the fuck? The Collingwood Magpies. Ridiculous. That is absolutely the most Australian name I've ever heard. The Collingwood Magpies. Jesus Christ. The Essendon. Can you hear

an Australian person say those two words together? Yes. That's horrible. Magpies. Magpies. Gonna watch some Magpies. Gonna drink some beer. We weren't going to offend them enough. Thank you.

Let's be nice here. You're going to get so pissed. The Essendon Bombers. The Fremantle Dockers, the Geelong Cats, the Gold Coast Suns, the Greater Western Sydney Giants. That's very specific. The Hawthorne Hawks. I believe that's the Melbourne Demons, the North Melbourne Kangaroos, Port Adelaide Power, Richmond Tigers, St. Kilda Saints, the Sydney Swans, the West Coast Eagles, and the Western Bulldogs. I don't know what the hell.

The Western Bulldogs? That's what it says, Western Bulldogs Bulldogs, but I think that's got to be just the Western Bulldogs. Let's just do that. I probably put that down wrong. So he's in here. He's playing. He's having a good time, obviously.

Good God, he's playing Australian rules football. It's his life dream, Jimmy. It's his life dream, Jimmy. It's his life dream in 1996. I have his stats. Let's try to decipher these. He played in 20 games. He had 34 goals. He had 15 Bs, which are behinds, which are the one-pointers, so that's good here.

He had 170 kicks. He had 106 handballs, which I don't know what that is at all. 276 disposals, which I don't know. That's a lot of disposals. I feel like that's really good because you can, I don't know. What if that's a bad thing? After you score, do you have to get rid of the ball like a body? You have to deflate it and chop it up into pieces and put it in a little box.

It would be great in this league. He'd be the best. He'd be the best here. His average is 1.7 goals a game, so that seems good. Yeah. That seems good. You're averaging almost 12 points a game, and behind kicks you're averaging almost one,

so you're averaging like 12, 13 points a game. That seems pretty goddamn impressive in my opinion here. I'm in. I know nothing about it, but it seems impressive. I'd be happy to get those numbers over there. Also, while he's doing that, he's 17 years old, by the way, playing professional AFL, which is. That's incredible. That's amazing.

I wasn't professional at anything at 17. And well, and playing well, too. It's not even like a basketball kid that they drafted at 18 and they sit him down for three years. He's in there playing. He's doing it. But it's all he cares about. It's all he's been training for. He's the he's the uh the engine basically like he no one plays as hard as him and and that's in that

way also begins taking drugs at 17 yes begins his uh recreational drug uh habit which is good god plagues him forever uh let's get it in their own words on his drug use here in their own words quote i started using recreational illicit drugs when i was 17 or 18 actually he said 17 or 18 seven yeah they don't use it at all it's a d so quote i started using recreational illicit drugs when i was 17 or 18 i was taking drugs regularly and hard i may have been predisposed to this world before i even picked up a drug and from that very first time it just opened up it just opened up a gateway for me that very quickly, if not instantly, became an obsession.

I was a heavy drug taker, but I was also a highly functional drug addict. So that's what he... That's nice. Yeah, because what he explains to later on is he explains that he's not a guy who's like Marvin Barnes sniffing Coke on the bench or something like that. Day of the game, day before the game. Never touches it. Doesn't touch a fucking thing.

It's his reward. He does it for fun. It's his reward. His thing is I can't do it for a month because I got tests and I got games and all that. But man, when that month is over, oh boy, am I going on a fucking bender. He's like Chris Farley right before a movie. He's like, I am going to go on such a bender. He's like, exactly, like a fat actor.

Like a fat guy actor. He's got to get approved for that insurance. So he's got to be clean for that. But once this movie's over, watch the fuck out. That's what he does. He's like, and if I play well enough, the better I play, the more drugs I can have because I deserve it. That's my reward. He clearly didn't see what happened to Chris Farley.

No, I doubt he did. Although his age, he should be a Chris Farley fan. He should definitely be very well aware. Definitely. But, oh, man, do people love him. His dad's a player. He's a good-looking guy, too. I was going to say, I think he's handsome, too.

He's a real handsome cat. You know what I mean? He's really cut up. He's handsome, charismatic, athletic, really good player. They call him a sponsor's dream is what they say. Their West Coast team's marketing manager, Ross Nichols, said, quote, he's easily the most sought-after eagle. No player was or is as popular as Ben.

His appeal is so diverse. Kids want his autograph and photograph. Sponsors want him to sit next to them. They want to push their product. If Ben's well-managed, the sky's the limit for him. They've got to find the balance between his commercial potential and his contribution to the community. The club offers protection, but it's up to Ben what demands

he pushes under himself. He can do anything he wants. The world is his oyster. He can be the biggest charity guy in the world. He can be the biggest commercials pitch man in the world, or in Australia. Either way, but that's what they're saying. He can be the ShamWow guy. Yeah, absolutely.

I'm telling you, man, they have to. He's charismatic. Jimmy, if you saw this guy in an apron, I'm telling you, forget about it. You would jump on him. Soft tug all over it. Soft tugging all over. So those numbers for his rookie season seemed pretty damn good. I don't know compared to anybody else, but they seemed good.

Good enough to win the Norwich Rising Star Award, which is their rookie of the year. It's their best player after their first season. So, you know, that's good. So he's the best rookie known as the hardest worker on the team. The announcers, everybody, the writers, they all call him a, quote, a generational talent. How about this? So he's like, they're saying he's going to be one of the best players in the league.

He's not, he's not a, you know, he's not a schlub. He's not a second tier guy. He's not a, well, played for five years. He's a guy who should be famous over there and a legend in a Hall of Famer forever. But, in addition to being butt,

there's a very large butt with that and that butt is filled with ecstasy meth coke pills ice booze what a vacation anything he can get his fucking hands on likes his uppers a lot but he also likes his valium but you know that sounds like you gotta come down at some point that's

the thing he lives like a professional wrestler in the 80s this guy he lives like that rollercoaster gotta take uppers to get up and get on the plane oh shit it's been a long day i need my painkillers my muscle relaxers i gotta get to sleep so i better take my sleeping pills oh shit i gotta be up at five better take those uppers again okay that's the type of life he's leading that life and he just takes off for football yeah in between all of that he says cocaine was his drug of choice. Yeah. But Valium was also very huge for him. Listen, I don't blame him.

That Valium is pretty fucking amazing. He also says, he's like, and there's also a place and a time for ecstasy or ice or whatever. He literally said that. He said, there's a place and a time for this. But not every day. He's like, look, I know when there's a place and time. That's hilarious. Coke every day, obviously.

But ecstasy and good meth, I can't deal with that. Sometimes you've got to be around people. You can't be rolling. Yeah. He says he needed it to balance out his obsessive training. He's like, I needed something to then balance my side. Train, train, train. I need to do crack, crack, crack.

What the fuck are we doing here? 2001 season. What am I, crazy? What am I, nuts? What the fuck is wrong with you? fuck are we doing here uh 2001 season crazy am i nuts the fuck's wrong with you uh 2001 season he's made captain of the west coast eagles at age 22 jesus which is super young and like people are all the media are like oh i don't know if that's you know you can't have a kid that young being uh you know the captain but he's the prodigal son so it doesn't matter like what were you doing at 22

that's not what i was doing i'm captaining a professional team of any point in my time i was in nightclubs trying to get laid and not success not successfully unsuccessfully getting 100 unsuccessful and terrible at it now i'm looking at his stats here and over the course of his career like 2001 he had 15 goals like his rookie season he had the most goals of any of his other seasons yeah but a lot of behinds and i don't know what else he was doing so that's the thing i don't know the intricacies of the game yeah to know whether he like is good at doing some shit that doesn't show up in stats is he some amazing move like a crossover or some shit or is like is there a stat here that i don't understand means a lot but it's like rebounding you know what i mean basketball

it's really fucking important. Steals or some shit. Steals or some shit. Yeah, something like that. What are D's again? Disposals. He led the league in disposals in 2000 with 600. That could be a bad thing, though.

You know what I mean? I don't know. He had 600 of them in 22 games, which seems like. That seems like a lot. I should be able to know what a disposal is because if he did it 600 times in 22 games, it seems like if you watched him for five minutes, he'd be doing it five, six times. That sounds like a steal or something, like pulling the ball away from the opposing team. Maybe it means getting the ball cleanly and then getting it to somebody else. Maybe that's a disposal.

That sounds like a good pass. Without getting it taken from you at all. Maybe that's what it is, like an assist, but the guy doesn't have to score. Maybe it's just that we're making up a game now. I just made it. Tell you what, let's go out in the parking lot when we're done here, Jimmy, and we'll play this new game. I just was like a 10-year-old that had a yard with a couple of weird obstacles and was like, I got a wiffle bat and a kickball. Let's make up a game. You know what I mean? It's called disposal of the ball. It's called disposal. Let's do it. It's totally weird here.

So also he had a drug counselor later that also says that this was – he had a reward thing with the drugs. That was his reward. He's the captain and he says – That's amazing. You did a great job today. Here's an ecstasy tap. Well, he says it like this. He says that he'd train all week or for

however long there was matches, obsessively practice, never stop, be the most hardworking guy on the team, all with the knowledge that at the end of that time, he was going to quote, completely annihilate myself with drugs. Absolutely annihilate and launch into as much

drugs as I could. That's his quote. That's his quote. Just, I will stuff anything into my body. I do not care. Put it up my nose, jam it in my ass. I don't give a fuck. That's crazy. Wow.

Another thing. We have a crime that no one has ever committed before on this episode. Yeah, one that is going to be hilarious and never been committed. How do you get to that point, though? That's so foreign to me. To getting to a point where you're just like, I have six weeks of shit I've got to do, but then once that's over,

you guys wait and see. You're going to find me drooling in a chair. And I'm going to be so happy about it. With ecstasy dripping out of my asshole. Dripping, just pouring out of my every orifice. You can actually take the drippage coming out of my ear and lick it and you'll trip for like three weeks. You're going to be tripping balls.

It's basically mescaline is what comes out of my ear. It's pure mescaline. And it just drips out of my ear. The wait is over. So far you're not losing the only thing you're losing is my patience quickly i see that the queen of the courtroom is back i didn't do anything you wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone.

OK, so, um. This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother.

That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season. It's streaming.

You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. Taylor Swift is soaring high. Her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history. Not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process. But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war.

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So 2003-ish, early 2000s, journalists start hearing rumors about drug use around there. The team might have a problem. A lot of guys are using both recreational and rumors of performance-enhancing drugs as well. None of these guys look like they're Royden, by the way. I don't know if they have a weaker strain of it down there. It's like they're cut as much as guys who work in fields are cut. But they're not like, fuck, that guy's not jacked. They're not jacked. Yeah, it's one of those things.

They're trimmed down. You can see muscle definition, but it's not like fucking bulging shoulders. No, they're 5'10", 170. That's what it is. Look, the NFL looks, they're fucking roid. Oh, God, Jesus. They're all on HGH. You look at Derek Wolf on the Denver Broncos, and that man, his neck looks like he has Down

Syndrome. He's so fucking wide. There's still weird gray areas in their HGH testing. It's ridiculous. They know what they can take and they fucking take it. Derek Wolf is on something for sure. And it's a wink and a nod because the league knows if they didn't take that shit, they wouldn't have a league because those guys would be too hurt and go, they'd be too injured

all the time to keep going. So it's all, they can say they hate it, but they know what they're doing. It's a terrible thing and what it does to their body in the long run. But he's cashing in and making so much money for his family. I was just going to say, he's making it so his kids aren't poor. That's what he's doing. He's making generational wealth, maybe. The problem is the guys that don't make generational wealth get five concussions and are limping around trying to work at Costco when they're 31 years old rather than being a millionaire.

And they're just like a gimpy guy now. Because Derek Wolf crushed him with all his pill reds. Exactly, man. His neck, I'm serious. It looks like the side effect of Down syndrome. It's so fat. His neck is ridiculous. It's crazy.

And his forehead, his face. He's a menacing man. He looks like Latimer from the program. That's what he looks like. He does look like that. He's got that level of rights. He looks like Latimer from the program. That's what he looks like. He does look like that. He's got that level of rights. He looks like he put his face through a fucking windshield. No, he looks like he belongs in No Holds Barred somewhere fighting one of those bar scenes.

So journalists here, like I said, they hear about the drug use, but it doesn't matter for him. He is on the all-Australian team six times in his career. He's 98, 99, 2001, 2002, 2005, 2006. So that's an all-star team, I guess, here. By the way, I'm not bitching about Derek Wolf. No, no, I get it. I want him to take more because the Denver Broncos are fucking terrible right now. Oh, they're terrible.

They need it. And they need him to fucking sack people. They need people to get goddamn roids and whatever they can do. Take more, Derek. Do it, Derek. So early 2005, there's an incident at the Metro City nightclub in Perth. There's some kind of gang confrontation. And I have – it's a lot.

There's a whole – it has nothing to do with Ben Cousins. But it does have something to do with him because he knows these guys. I have the whole court thing. Is that a nice place, the Metro thing? Yeah. It's like an upscale nightclub. Anything in America named Metro first is garbage. Metro City North.

Metro PCS. Metro Center. Metro's bad. Metro fucking light rail. The Metro bus. Yeah. Everything Metro here is a bad thing. There, this is Perth.

It's backwards. Remember, it's upside down. It spins the opposite way. It's a great thing. The drain spins the opposite way, Jeremy. It's beautiful there. And then Metro sexual means you go get your fucking toenails done. And every state's panhandle is really nice there, too.

It's just the opposite of over here. So we do, I know all the people's names and their gangs and what they were fighting about, but it doesn't goddamn matter. And this guy committed so much fucking crime, we don't have time for it. But yeah, there's a gang confrontation, people he know. One gang member was stabbed and another one was shot five times. Jesus. Both survived.

This was serious. There's video footage of it, too. What was the fight over? I don't know. No idea. Gang shit. Whatever. Who the fuck knows.

Who owns the Metro? Stepped on a something. God damn it. Who knows. But there's footage of this, too. You can see the footage of this all breaking out in a fight. Yeah, it looks like Tupac's casino fight. Fantastic. it's in a hallway in a basement so it's you know it's down under it's a different thing so uh and it's a funny thing is that's actually a story over there

that a gang member was shot and one was stabbed like over here they'd be like who cares that's that's friday did they kill any old ladies no okay well we don't care then yeah there they're like it's a story gang violence violence? Oh, my goodness. Who gives a fuck? Well, Ben Cousins and a teammate were both there at the club, but not with those people. But they found out later on when they investigated the people involved in the altercation, they found in their phone records communication with Ben Cousins. So they were like, let's talk to Ben Cousins and see.

So Ben Cousins, regardless of having no affiliation with the actual fight and not being near the fight, he is still, you know, like the captain of the football team there being hauled in to be questioned over gang violence that he might know something about. So that's really. He's Australia's Michael Vick. That's kind of, yeah. That's kind of what it is. Except, no, I don't think he has any pets at all. Right.

He's just a dickhead to himself. So, yeah, he's questioned about the phone contact. But there's never any charges or never anything like that. But there's a lot of, the press is really attacking him for his connection to underworld figures. That's a big deal to them. Yeah. It's hilarious. Can't be hanging out with gangsters.

Really? They're all over him for that shit. He has to have a press conference at one point just to go, everybody, chill the fuck out. And he says, quote, as captain of the West Coast Eagles football club, I'm extremely disappointed with the public perception of my continued association with people who are regarded by others as underworld figures. He said, I'm pissed off you're even fucking saying that. And he doesn't even call them underworld figures. He says regarded by others as underworld figures. He said, I'm pissed off you're even fucking saying that. And he doesn't even call them underworld figures. He says regarded by others as underworld figures.

That was a very carefully crafted statement to not piss off his friends, too. Don't call us underworld figures. We're not underworld. We're everywhere. Yeah. Now, in the documentary later on that we'll talk about, he's shown hanging out with known criminals, like guys who have long records that are known as gangsters. He's kind of a dipshit.

Yeah, he's a dipshit, exactly. Well, this is how stupid he is. He's just like an American. This guy should, I don't know how, I swear he's faking his Australian accent. This fucking guy's American. He's such an asshole, he has to be American. Like, there's no other way. There's no other way this is possible.

They show his manager, not of the team, but his personal manager, trying to talk him out of hanging out with these people. But he's like, he says if he stops hanging out with his mates, he'll lose his identity. He says, if I don't hang out with my mates, I'll lose my identity. They're like, you're going to lose your fucking sponsors is what you're going to lose and your money. You're going to lose your livelihood, you dipshit. Yeah. The team owner is pissed. Of course.

He says he'd like the players to be squeaky clean, especially the captain of the team. And he doesn't understand. Because the owner likes fucking money. He likes money. He wants his guy to be marketable and his team to be marketable. And he says he doesn't understand why Ben keeps getting himself into all these issues. Well, he loves drugs. As many drugs as I can get myself into.

Annihilating. Enough to annihilate. Just annihilate. I watched him say it. It's not a written quote. I'm going to annihilate myself. He's like, annihilate. Like, he's like, his eyes are like, like if somebody said a big steak, a big juicy, just mmm.

Like, that's just annihilate myself. He's like, oh the ass on that. Like he's found an ass he really wanted to grab onto. I'm gonna annihilate myself. Did you ever say that about yourself? I used to say it when I was young. Let's get annihilated, guys. I'm not a real annihilate

guy when it comes to myself. But we were talking about booze and weed. Yeah, exactly. I'm not a real annihilate guy when it comes to myself. But we were talking about booze and weed. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, hey, let's get a nice buzz and sit there and watch a movie kind of a guy. I'm not really an annihilate guy. That's annihilating, bro. Yeah, I'm like, hey, let's get a little buzzed and we'll kind of chill out for a bit. So we'll catch up on some shows on Netflix.

That's my fucking... We're going to annihilate our recommended file. That's what we're going to annihilate. my fucking... We're going to annihilate our recommended file. That's what we're going to annihilate. That's what we're going to annihilate, that shit. So 2005, he plays in 24 games, which is the most in his whole career that he plays in a season. He gets 24 goals, so a goal a game,

and 11 behinds on a league-leading 391 kicks. So he's active. He's out there. He's doing his thing. He's very active. And I only say that because he won an award that year, so I figured you'd want to know why. He wins the Brownlow Medal, which is the Charles Brownlow Trophy, better known as the Brownlow Medal. And informally known as Charlie, because it's the Charles Brownlow Award,

it is awarded to the, quote, fairest and best player in the Australian Football League. The fairest. Snow White won it one year, and then the next guy, Ben Cousins the next. It's basically the MVP. Yeah. Voted on by the officiating field umpires. Oh. So that's another thing.

That's how they know it's fair. That's how you know it's fair, yeah. It's the most prestigious award for individual players that's a brilliant idea it is it is yeah they know everybody they know who's a dick and yeah but they don't want it to be like well then i can't talk shit to the ref because then he won't vote for me and it'll be a fucking whole thing that's a good point fucking here they over there they're all respectful to the refs probably whereas over here it's just they're all gonna argue with each other the refs the players are dicks we're all dicks so uhs probably, whereas over here, they're all going to argue with each other. The refs are dicks.

The players are dicks. We're all dicks. So the most prestigious award, though, he is at this point called the Prince of Perth repeatedly. He's the Prince of Perth. Everyone loves him. Drug use getting way worse. Really? Oh, boy, does he love drugs at all.

He loves drugs so much, man. I love it. So much. I can't wait. He says that alcohol was never a big problem for him. It's all about the drugs. It was never a big problem. His cousin, Melanie is her name, said that if he was into drugs one night, that's what

his whole night was about. Nothing else. He's so nuts. He'd have certain friends that were his drug friends. Yeah. And he'd hang out with them. And it was all night. And he would be into it like if someone was into working out all night.

Yeah. He's doing drugs. We're going gonna do as much how many how let's strategize how i can get as much shit in my system as possible like working out that's what he did like i gotta do legs and chest today so i gotta do like that's what he's doing he's like i gotta fucking stuff as much ecstasy up one fucking thing it's ridiculous man uh on the field, things are going very well. Like we said, he's the MVP, basically. The 2005 West Coast Eagles go all the way to the finals series, which is like their finals. That's their championship

series. Versus the Sydney Swans. Very tough name for a football team. I used to do. There's one called the Rabbitohs. I don't even know what the fuck that means. But the Swans? Yeah. That's like a tall, thin breakable with the cockatiels taken. I'm a pussy.

Couldn't get the Nancy dancers. What the fuck is that? At least be the Black Swans. Something. That movie was fucked up. Nope. Swans. Just the Swans.

The game is very close, and West Coast loses a very close game there. So he's not a champ in that moment, but MVP and so close to the end. He also wins Western Australian Sports Star of the Year award. He's sitting on top of the world. Let's say it now, Jimmy. Grace.

This is Grace right now. He's happy. Everything's good. Still got problems, but he's overcoming them. That's Grace. Everything's good. Still got problems. In 2005. But he's overcoming them. That's Grace. Grace is 2005 when he's doing mountains of drugs. Mountains. That's Grace. Coke all over his face.

Gets an award. Going into the second part here, the father says, Brian, his father, said, quote, I should have known, and I think most parents that have a family member that ends up in addiction. By the time the parents find out, you know, you're in real strife. Yeah.

Yeah. No shit. Ben said he thrived on the drama. He liked to. He liked it. He liked the like the fact that he would do a bunch of drugs and he would fuck up and then the press would write about him and people would talk shit about him. And that made him want to try harder on the field.

Yeah. He thrived on this cycle of fuck you. I'll do this. I'll do what I want. You fuck you. and then the press would write about him, and people would talk shit about him, and that made him want to try harder on the field. He thrived on this cycle of, fuck you, I'll do this, I'll do what I want, and you fuck you, and I can play harder, and I'll do this. He thrives on this. That's a weird— You cannot run that forever. It's going to burn out. That's a problem. You're going to burn out doing that.

No one can do that forever at all. Basically, he said, in his mind, if he could perform at the highest level, nobody could say shit to him. That's true. Hey, I just won the fucking MVP. You're going to tell me I can't go do a bunch of fucking coke in the offseason? Fuck you. I know what I'm doing, obviously.

And who's going to say anything? That's the thing. I guess the opposite in America is Tim Tebow. Everybody's saying you can't be religious and a virgin and be great at football. And we were right. Yeah, true. At least two out of the three. I'm sure he's religious, but he's fucking terrible at football.

Tim Tebow should maybe get a coke habit, Tim, because it works. He'd be going. He'd be going. He'd thrive on the drama. He'd be playing. Now, February of 2006 is his first real incident here. Now, in Australia, they have what's called a booze bus, which is like a mobile DUI center. Oh, okay.

They have like a truck and they pull people. It's like a road stop and they make everybody go in and breathalyze. Sounds much more fun than what it really is. Because if you look up booze bus, it comes up like party bus, party bus, party bus. You can do this. You can do that. Lots of lights, all this shit, music. And then in Australia, you get busted by this thing called the booze bus

that takes everyone to prison. So it's way different. Everything in Australia is opposite. At first I'm like, how did he get in trouble on a booze bus? You can do anything you want on those fucking things. You can finger your mom on that bus. You can. Absolutely. I believe mom fingering is encouraged

on a booze bus. I'm pretty sure you can. Music, food, dancing, fingering your mom. Absolutely. Finger blast your mom while she bends over a fucking brass bar. That is terrible, by the way. That's one of the grossest things you've ever said, and it's very funny, though. I enjoy it a lot. Thank you.

So he's pulled over by this booze bus. He's with a friend of his and his girlfriend. His girlfriend's in the front seat. He's got a friend of his with bus uh he is in a he's with a friend of his and his girlfriend his girlfriend's in the front seat uh he's got a friend of his with him he's in a mercedes uh officers approach he and another man jump out of the car and run away okay run away they run down the alleys and side streets and leave the car behind not only the car his girlfriend's sitting in the passenger side of the car going ben Ben, Ben, what's going on? And the cops are like, who was that? I don't know.

He, Jesus Christ, a police official said at the time, because he takes off, a police official says, quote, he was the person driving the car. Because they asked this police official, why do you think he ran away? They said, well, he was the person driving the car. And I think maybe it's up to you to ask Mr. Cousins why on earth he would run away. How the fuck am I supposed to know? He said that in a very polite Australian way. Now, we have an in their own words. Because he saw the booze bus.

That's why he ran. That's why he ran. And let's find out. We have an in their own words. He'll tell you exactly why he ran. He has no shame. All right. All right.

In their own words, quote, getting caught by a booze bus is career threatening. I just had to take off. When I took off, I took off. I wasn't messing around. I couldn't tell you how many houses I jumped through. I was jumping back fences. I was on top of roofs. Sweet Pete.

I took off across the river. I reckon I got really close to being halfway over. It was a long swim. I'd been 10 or 12 hours on the drink or what have you, and I started to get pretty tired. 10 or 12 hours on the drink or what have you and I started to get pretty tired and I thought it's as important as and I thought as important as it is that I get away it's not

quite as important that I not as not going under so he swam away he turns back he goes over a lake ridiculous fucking idiot and he fucking braved the Australian outback for Pete's sake to get away from the shit and then he turned around and braved the Australian outback, for Pete's sake, to get away from the shit.

Who knows what kind of fucking snakes are in that thing. And then he turned around and braved it back. Yeah, he went less than halfway back, and he said he walked down the shore for like 1,000 meters, just kind of walked in waist-deep water down the shore, and he found a closed restaurant. So he banged on the door and asked to use the phone. And the workers came out, and the guy who let him in said, hey, you're not Ben Cousins, are you? And he said, no, mate, of course not. Don't be crazy.

Like, why would Ben Cousins be covered in river water? I get mistaken all the time. Why would Ben Cousins be crawling from the river like the creature from the Black Lagoon to ask to use your phone? In the middle of the night,

shit-faced hammered with the police chasing me. No, of course not. Exhausted from boxing crocodiles. Just went for a swim in the river, and you know how that goes, man. Jesus. Yeah, so that was pretty interesting. They fought off kangaroos to get away from the booze bus.

Fuck, man. So the incident, this causes huge uproar for him to step down as captain of the team. They want him down. Public media, the media especially, is really pushing for it. The team says at first, they say, fuck you, we do what we please. But if it doesn't die down, then you know how that works. We've seen that a lot of times. We stand by our player.

Fuck that guy from the fans. And they go, well, fuck that guy. Okay, let's look at him. You guys are right. Bye, Kaepernick. Yeah, totally. So February 20th, 2006, he has a press conference and steps down as captain over this. So they're not messing around, though.

Over the booze bus. Over the booze bus. I can't help but think if he would have just got arrested, it would have been way less of a big deal. He could have been like, I made a huge mistake. It's totally stupid. Shouldn't do it. Never happen again. But by running away over rooftops and trying to swim across a river, now you look like an asshole.

Now it's way dumber than just getting arrested. Charles Barkley got arrested for getting a blowjob while drunk in a car at a stop sign in Old Town Scottsdale with Steve Urkel in the car. Jaleel White was in the car, too. That's amazing. That's a great story. And then two weeks later, he got a fucking Taco Bell commercial. You stay in the car. You get arrested.

You stay in the car and you shrug your shoulders afterwards. And you admit you did something wrong. I don't know. And you go get a Taco Bell. I'm not perfect. And the Taco Bell commercial was a catchphrase of the box that rocks. Oh, God. Well, Barkley, though, would say, I'm not a role model.

So that was his shtick. This guy is, I'm a role model. Look at how shiny my teeth are. Buy this product. If you want to know if a box rocks, you ask the guy that pays for hookers. He would know. That guy knows what box rocks. All the great boxes.

The not so great boxes, more likely. Actually, I think he said that she gave the best blowjobs. That's why he came back to her. He came back to her all the time. Oh, he was a recurring customer. Yeah. Oh, my God.

So, wow. Jaleel White had to watch. He sounded like he was sentenced to it. Jaleel White got arrested for domestic violence. He was sentenced to watch Charles Barkley get a blowjob. Get the best blowjob on her. In a parking lot in Old Town Scottsdale. Sorry, Jaleel, it's the law.

It's like, oh, man. You certainly fuck off. Who, me? And then he gets in the fucking car. Did I do that? Did I do that? You fucking. Do I have to watch that?

Oh, Jesus Christ. My God. So before the 2006 season, Ben makes a statement to his team. He gathers everyone up and he says, I promise to not be a fuck up for the rest of the season. Because at the time, he feels like he'd lost prestige in their eyes. So he was energized to stick it up everybody's asses, basically. So he had a good season, 22 games played, 20 goals, 13 behinds. So that sounds great as we've ascertained so far.

That's a pretty good thing. That's a lot of points. Seems like a lot. So that sounds great as we've ascertained so far. That's a pretty good thing. That's a lot of points. Seems like a lot. So they make it all the way to the 2006 series finals again as a team.

So this is really going in. Fuck you guys. Once again, the Sydney Swans. Obviously, that's a strong name, I guess, in the end. This time they win a close one. They win it. They win the championship. Fantastic.

So now he's bulletproof in his mind. Now he can go out and do more drugs than he ever thought of doing because we won the championship. The whole thing before that he didn't like is his whole. He says this repeatedly forever in his life is I'm only hurting myself. Why can't I hurt myself? What business is it of yours if I hurt myself? But then they started saying you were hurting the team yeah before and he was like i'm not fucking hurting the team how fucking dare you say i'm hurting the team so that's why he's like now say i hurt the team say i hurt the team now that we won a championship couldn't hurt him that bad how did i hurt him how do we i won more of the champs uh rumors are swirling about ped uh

performance drug use uh around the team with a few of the Eagles and also mainly just drugs in general. But there's no, like, Barry Bonds on the squad. There's no guy like, look at the head on that fucking guy. Like, none of these guys. They're skinny white guys, basically. Ben denies any PED use. He said he would, as a sportsman, he finds that a repellent, that anyone would do that.

And he is very much into the game, but I think he would do whatever to get an advantage. Maybe performance de-hancing. Yeah, exactly. He says, even in the documentary, he says he never took drugs on the day of games or even the day before the games. Like I said, he didn't do anything that would fuck up the game. That was his whole thing. He says at this point he wants to stay out of the media. He wants to not cause any more waves.

He wants to just work on his life, work on his drug issues, get his shit together, and just be cool for the offseason. Be cool for the summer slash our winter. So December 5th, 2006, he's at the Crown Casino in Melbourne, which is staying out of trouble. He's arrested for public drunkenness. He says he was on no sleep and had been on both coke and ice for a few months and about the last few months a few months and since the end of the season since the season ended imagine the binge he gets to go on after you win the championship and basically hadn't slept in like five days a week he's been on a

bender for a week and he says i was on a b bender. He was like, oh boy, that was a good one. Oh boy, did I. The cops asked him his name at the casino and he said, Ben Cousins. It was a male and a female cop. And the female cop said, Ben Cousins doesn't look like that. And so he said, he lifted up his shirt and said, he did a week ago.

Like, fucking, I'm a mess now, but I was fine a week ago. So he's arrested for public drunkenness there Christmas of that year he's going to a family gathering and his cousin Melanie is driving him and she makes him stop the car before they get to

the house so he can get high because he can't go in without getting high basically for the first time I'm on his side because this is a family holiday I don't fucking blame him for that. Who doesn't need drugs for that shit? I'm sorry. What kind of drugs, though?

I don't care what you put in me. If I'm going to a family holiday, you know how I am, dude. Imagine having to talk to 30 fucking people. Yeah, but did he have a problem because of it? I mean, yeah, it's a problem. He's out doing a bunch of coke. Was there an event after he had to do all this coke yeah he was going to a family christmas no i mean did he

did he go to this family christmas party and now he functions and is great well now he feels better anyway i don't know how well he functions or did he get arrested jacked up no no he's at this family's house luckily he never gets arrested in his family's house do a bunch of coke go in get through fucking grandma's a bitch sometimes. I get it. I understand. He didn't break a wine bottle over grandma's head? No. Nothing like that. No domestic situations.

Cops were not called. 2007 season, he starts practicing less. He's not quite as obsessive about the practice. He starts accusing other players of training too hard to intentionally make him look bad. 2007? 2007 season. 28 years old. Yeah. He's getting tired and a lot of drugs, and his body's starting to wear down a little.

He's not in his absolute prime. When you're 22, you can do a bunch of coke and then go out and run for two days and try to swim a mile across a river. That's fine. When you're 28, calm it down there, pal. Maybe I'll do a bump. Yeah. Start.

So what they do here is he starts practicing less for the 2007 season. And at one point here, he only plays in seven games in the 2007 season, has three goals, three behinds. So beginning of the season pretty much. So what ends up happening here is he's just starting to be more of a flake. At one point there's a drug test he's supposed to take, a league drug test, and he doesn't show up for the drug test at the team facility.

That's not good. The team can't reach him at all. He's just on the lam when he's supposed to be taking a drug test. He's just going to fail it. Well, that's, yeah, and if you skip out on the drug, you're obviously running away from the drug test and get a hold of you any other. This is 2007.

You got a phone. You can call him. So they suspend him uh for a while here they suspend him he goes on a fucking bender boy oh now he's got nothing to do and he's pissed off and oh man he's got plenty plenty of reason to do he's got to prove to everyone just how much coke he can stick up his fucking nose he's got to prove to everyone here uh so he loses contact with everybody except his father and an ex-player named Mainwaring

who goes by Manny. We'll just call him Manny. He was a good player forever. Now Manny had a history with drugs before. He's trying to help Ben now. They're older than him. Manny and his wife take Ben to

their beach house in Perth to get him sober enough to go to rehab. That's how fucked up he is. They're like, he's going to run away from rehab. He can't even go to rehab right now. He's such a mess. Let's get him to a level where we can actually put him in a rehab. That's like working out to go to the gym. He needs to sober up to get to rehab.

He's got that sort of thing going on. Hold on, hold on. I've got to eat some stuff to go out to dinner. Wait a minute. off to get to rehab like he's got that sort of thing going on here hold on hold on i gotta eat some stuff to go out to dinner wait a minute like you need push-ups and core before we get you to the gym that's exactly what this is like let's sober up his core and then get him out there sober core ben cousins here so what he ends up doing here after his huge bender and wanting to get into back into the game obviously because he suspended, he goes to rehab for 28 days in Los Angeles. Oh, one of those.

He decides to go to L.A. for one. Right. And there's two sides to that because, actually, I heard one guy in the documentary talk about both sides of it. And he's like, on one side, you know, he's got to go there, and it's to a celebrity place, it's expensive and all that. On the other side, he's extremely famous here. Yeah.

And he can't get a good rehab experience. They don't have – I don't think they have quite the celebrity rehab like we have here, there. So you're going to be in with a bunch of other people who you're not going to get the right experience. So there, nobody knows who the fuck Ben Cousins is in a rehab in L.A. They don't know who the fuck this guy is, and they don't care. He's just a guy on a bunch of coke. To them, he may as well be a producer's son. They could give a fuck.

They probably think that's exactly who he is. He's sitting next to fucking Lindsay Lohan. Jacked up white kid on a bunch of coke. Producer's son. Sorry. Yeah, that's exactly what he was there. Sorry about you wrecking your BMW. Yeah.

Admitting addiction and seeking treatment was seen. It's funny because I looked up. God, I did a lot of research on this shit. I looked up. He warrants later on several academic papers. I feel like, and I don't know this for a fact, but drug use in Australia is not the same as it is here. No? Especially in 2007.

It was still not... I feel like it was here in the 60s or something, the 50s. They don't understand. It's like a novelty? It's really weird. Like they've won and an athlete that's throws their career away and is a criminal because of drugs isn't really prevalent there. It's really not like, well, I mean, they don't have many athletes. They don't. But here, if we had one team, fucking eight of them would be in prison at some point.

And that's just the way it works. But there it's not like that. Here I found in this one academic paper about it, they talk about the difference between America and Australia with drugs. And they say, quote, admitting addiction and seeking treatment was seen as a positive step in America. This contrasted with the more negative Australian societal view that looked down on people for suffering drug dependency. This was the perception that Cousins reported to the researchers. Cousins' opinion came from his troubled 2007 trip to Los Angeles and then came

back. So he went here and he said, oh, wow, they treat you 100. It's a totally different thing there. It's it's like the 80s with drugs there. Like he's on drugs with a scumbag. They should just all be in prison. It's just drugs. It's drugs. It's a Reagan administration. Yeah. Just whereas here we're like fucking calm down. Yeah. If you took that twice, you'd be hooked on it too. So relax. Fucking calm down. Also, how many people do you know that are on drugs? Exactly. Let's fucking help people out here. There it's a little bit different.

But are we really that, do we really condone it that much? It's not a matter of condone. Well, no. In general culture, most people are fucking ignorant douchebags who just see it as, I think most people just see it ignorantly as just like, they're on drugs, so that's a crime, and they're a criminal, and we should put them all in jail, and then I'll pay for it and then complain that my taxes are too high. Dumb fuck. Hey, dummy, guess what jail does?

It costs money. This is what I mean. Whereas in our fucking, over here, I feel like in the medical, at least in the treatment side of it, over there, over here, it's- We get it. So that it helps save us some cash later on. Well, over here, I mean, we get, in treatment, we take the people in and we don't call them, you're a piece of shit, stop doing drugs. Like, we try to actually heal it.

We try to help, right. Which, I'm not a doctor, I don't know what the best way to do it. I'm just saying from a common sense standpoint, to complain about people on drugs, want them in jail, and then complain your taxes are high is fucking insane and you're stupid. Well, it's better to have somebody that's missing all their teeth and track marks and fucked up veins having a job contributing to society than it is to have that person sitting in a fucking gutter. Be paid for, right.

Yeah, exactly. Now, in April 2007, they're going to let him back, but there's some contract guidelines for him here in the next month. Number one, no contact with certain undesirables, which are the gangsters. It's the underworld. The underworld, exactly. Good way to put it. Regular drug tests.

Public statement of drug problem. They want him to go out and tell everyone he's got a drug problem, which is super. I don't understand how that fucking helps him. That's the public apology. And a public apology. What, and that? They want him to go out and say, not only am I sorry I fucked up, but I'm a huge, disgusting drug addict pig

and you should all look down on me. That's what they want him to do. Oh, that's terrible. Which I don't know how that's going to help. He thinks he's only hurting himself and doesn't want to apologize for shit. I don't blame him. He'll say he does drugs, but he's not saying he's sorry for it. That's his whole thing. I mean, in the vein of, like, comedy, like, if I make a terrible

joke somewhere and it gets huge publicity, I'm not sorry for it. I'm just not. And I'm never going to be. Well, if you think it's funny. Yeah, yeah. If I find it funny and I think it was creative or clever enough, I'm not sorry. No.

Listen, that's not hurting society. Never mind. This is a terrible analogy. Yeah, yeah. Because he's out there being a fucking menace running through the woods it gets worse too it gets worse he's running from the booze bus he's a dangerous maniac this guy let's find out here uh only hurts melly hurts other people too let's get out here but uh the team publicly is saying all the nice things we're not pressuring him to do anything one said quote he

needs to be left alone to deal with this very serious situation. And I think the focus on the need to punish him further when he's already under an indefinite suspension is very unhealthy. And like they're all into that. You know, they're really, really trying to make it seem like we're not pressuring him. It's just a suspension so he can help himself. And we're concerned about him. But in reality, they're very much pressuring him to apologize publicly. Very, very much. He says he gets up there and gets a press conference and he says, quote, as you're aware, I've been in an overseas as you're aware.

That's arrogant, by the way. You already know. As everyone knows what I'm up to all the time. As you're aware, I would see like, you know, in case you're not aware, maybe or something, just as you're all aware. I'm sure you're talking to the press, but it sounds cocky to the public. I've been in an overseas rehabilitation center for the last month, undergoing treatment for a number of personal issues, including illness as a result of substance use. And then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, horse shit. But that's all he would basically said.

He says once he got out of rehab, he trained harder than he ever trained before. That was like now he's really got to prove shit because he had to tuck his little tail between his legs. For the first time, he had to admit he was wrong. And much as he didn't want to do it, he had to come out and go, I apologize for my actions. Rather than going, I don't care. Fuck you. He had to actually do it. Rip his shirt off and throw a beer bottle against the wall.

He had to actually be a human being here. I like that he had to say overseas treatment center, which in America, that feels weird for them to call us overseas. We're not overseas. You fucks are overseas. We're overseas from everywhere. You sons of bitches are overseas. Everyone's overseas from Australia, for Christ's sake. Just

sitting there in the middle of the sea. New Zealand's even overseas. Yeah, everything is. But we're not overseas. We're where life starts and stops, you fuckers. Yeah, goddammit. Don't you know that? Duh. Jesus Christ. That's the arrogant American statement. That's called American sarcasm right there

for all you Europeans that might not know sarcasm that well. That's called good old-fashioned American sarcasm. This place is a dump. So, July July 21st that well. That's called good old fashioned American sarcasm. This place is a dump. July July 21st 2007 he makes his comeback in this comeback

game versus the Sydney Swan Silly Billy Birds whatever the fuck they are today. He plays eight games that year. He has they're in the playoffs versus Port Adelaide and he fucks his hamstring up. You see the play is like running and he fucks his hamstring up bad. You see the play. He's running, and he just falls down.

You can tell when somebody tore up their hamstring. It has to get carried off the field. If his foot touches the ground, he's like, oh, God, Jesus. It's one of those where I felt bad for him. That looked like a rough injury. I'm sure it's brought on by coke in some way, shape, or form. Sure is. It's a hardening of the muscles and tendons.

That'll do it. October 1, 2007, Chris Man. Sure is. It's a hardening of the muscles and tendons. That'll do it. October 1st, 2007, Chris Manwaring dies. Oh, no. The man he dies. We find out a couple days later that there was a property developer was coming after him for $3 million-ish. There's an article that says about it, quote, it got nasty toward the

end about the lawsuit. The house was in Chris's name, so he got his money back and then forwarded Russell what he thought was a fair thing, and then he got sued. It's a big deal. But what he ends up doing, they find him unconscious at his home. The paramedics get him talking,

and he says he's taken ecstasy and smoked some weed. Oh, shit. That's what this guy says he did, but it's much more than that. His father, Manny's father, said that illicit drugs were probably involved in his son's death, and he said, I would be very surprised if the coroner did not hold an inquest in this case. So even the father wants to know what the fuck's going on. The father also said, quote, I'd really like to get to the bottom of all of it, just how he ended up in the state he did.

That's dad saying, where'd he get them? What happened? Yeah. What the fuck is going on? So the investigation, Ben was with Chris the day he died. Chris was binging hard the day of the death. Manny was binging hard. Ben said he saw him with coke, the whole deal.

But I will say this in the beginning, Ben passed a drug test the next day after this. By all accounts, he was sober at the time and going to meetings and not doing drugs. And he said he had a drug test to pass with the team the next day, so he was actually abstaining.

This is an investigation by the Western Australia state coroner, Alistair Hope. That's Australian shit. Ben said he saw Manny with cocaine on a plate just hours before he died. Manny's wife, Ronnie, asked the police to do a well check on her husband during his drug-fueled bender because she had taken off with the kids. She washed a bunch of his cocaine down the sink and then took off with the two kids. This is some Goodfellas shit.

Like, get out! Rossi, two R's! Nothing but a whole lot. There's nothing to do with coke. I had to do it. Watch Goodfellas, everybody, goddammit. It's the good movie. It's the fucking best movie. Cousin said he spent his morning

at a training session and then took off. They're saying that the parents of Manny don't want his details of the death, the autopsy results to be made public. But his wife says that they want it out there because they want to end the speculation. They want to implicate whoever's – right. And they want to see what's going on here. But they don't want to drag him through the mud. At one point, this woman says, quote, this is not what they want. They want to keep Chris's legacy to live in happy memories.

It's unfortunate that we keep coming back to how and why Chris died. Well, it's kind of important. It's that point here. They found, the coroner found, that he died as a seizure caused by cocaine overdose. Shit. Not a cocktail because at first they thought died as a seizure caused by cocaine overdose. Shit. Not a cocktail because at first they thought it was a bunch of different shits. Very rare. He said he did ecstasy.

So, yeah. It's very rare for a cocaine overdose. You know what I mean? Well, it happens a lot. Does it? Yeah. I mean, I've never really even heard of many of them. It's usually like you—

Well, it doesn't build up. It's just one shot, and it's usually a heart problem that you have to begin with as a problem. Usually you end up like with the Len Bias guy, the old Maryland player who was drafted number one overall and died that night. He had a heart issue that he didn't know about. If he got that fixed or was on medication, it would have been fine. I just laughed about it. Jesus. Oh, yeah. He died that

night. No, but cocaine, it's very rare that that one is the one that kills you. It's that you escalate into something or de-escalate. De-escalate? No, it's de-escalate. You either gocalate? No, it's de-escalate. De-escalate, yeah. You either go up into heroin or you go down into fucking meth. And those are the ones that end up killing you. Yeah, yeah.

No, that's true. They just rot you. The toxicology report here said he had 7 milligrams per liter of cocaine in his blood and 50 milligrams of cocaine in his stomach contents. How many milligrams? 50 milligrams. In his stomach? In his stomach. Wow. So he's starting the fuck out of it here. And how much in many milligrams? 50 milligrams. In his stomach? In his stomach.

Wow. So he's starting the fuck out of it here. And how much in his blood? Seven milligrams per liter. How many liters of blood are in you? I think it's nine. No, it's nine pints, isn't it? Dude, we're talking about-

It's not a lot. It doesn't matter. We're talking really technical. That's a lot of coke. That's a lot of coke. He did a fuckload of coke. They said that Ben and his female friend left Manny's home about 10, 15. And Ben said at the time he appeared to be in good spirits.

And Ben said he had no concern for Manny at all. Like, he was fine. He was just partying. He was like, okay, whatever. Manny ended up going out in the street and, like, yelling in the street. Oh, boy. And his neighbors called the cops because, you know, he was behaving in a bizarre manner. And the cops came.

the cops because he was behaving in a bizarre manner. And the cops came. And by the time they came, he was unconscious. And then he ended up dying at 1236 AM. Jesus. Yeah. Not terrific here. So that's an interesting thing that Ben was involved in. And then this causes, and this is only important because, I mean, they talked to Ben, but they

don't think he killed him or anything. But this does cause Ben to fucking spin out of control. Really? This causes, yeah. That's his buddy. That's his buddy. He goes off the deep end now. October 8, 2007, he's stopped in Northbridge, Perth.

He's pulled over by the gang task force. He and everyone else thinks the police set him up with the press to fuck with him on this one. He's pulled over. He's ripped out of the car shirtless. He's shirtless, high as a fucking kite, wearing sunglasses, has a bunch of drugs, all prescribed to him, though. Tons of prescription pills. Also, a $20 bill with some Coke traces on it.

But who doesn't have money in their pocket with Coke traces on it from somewhere? You know, most probably does. Also in the car were two young women described by the police as, quote, scantily clad. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Now he's doing fine. Jesus Christ. That's a party. Now he's okay. Shirtless in a car with a bunch of prescription pills and scantily clad women. Scantily clad hoes. Let's do it.

He says he was two or three or four days into a relapse at this point since Manny died. Basically, he went off the deep end. They end up charging him with a weird drug possession charge, even though he didn't have anything. It's a weird thing. Suspicion of drug possession.

It ends up getting dropped later, but they arrest him. He's picked up at the station by his father, which must have been a long fucking ride home. Jesus Christ. That's like when you're 12 or something. You get in trouble. Why can't you just have Michael Ray? Why?

Why do you have to do this? Why? So October 17th. What is wrong with you, boy? How many times did he say, for fuck's sake? For fuck's sake, Jesus. Come on, Benny. God damn it, Ben. For fuck's sake. October 17th,

2007, a week later, Ben is cut by the Eagles. Now they've had it with him. He's shit-canned. Now he loses his job. October 27th, 2007, he's back in L.A. This time, though, he says he's going to rehab, but he doesn't go to rehab. He'll land a Coke. He says he went to get away from the media storm. He's missing while he's there.

I want to get away from the media storm. Well, no one in L.A. cares about who he is. I want to get away from all the cameras in L.A. Well, no one in L.A. knows who he is. No one knows who he is, though. Fucking Peyton Manning can go land in Perth tomorrow and nobody would bother him. They wouldn't know who the fuck he was. They'd have no idea who he is. No one knows who he is, though. Fucking Peyton Manning can go land in Perth tomorrow and nobody would bother him. They wouldn't know who the fuck he was. They'd have no idea who he is.

Who's that big fucking goofy white bastard? They wouldn't care. Who's that guy with that huge forehead? Who's Frankenstein head over there? Why is that guy's forehead so many colors? Yeah, no shit, right? So he goes out to LA. It does seem ridiculous.

He's going there. But he's missing. No one can find him. It's not just the cameras. There's as much coke as there is cameras in that fucking city. Yeah, of course. That's why he's there. Okay, so he goes missing. He's missing. No one can find him. It's not just the cameras. There's as much coke as there is cameras in that fucking city. That's why he's there. Yeah, of course. That's why he's there.

So he goes missing. He goes missing. Everyone's looking for him. His father gives a statement that he's fine. He's not missing. He's working on his drug rehab out there in L.A. Everything's fine. He tells the media that their harassment will not help with his recovery.

And they are hindering his son. And back off. Okay. So October 31st, 2007. This is four days after this, 911 in LA. Halloween night. 911 in Los Angeles receives a call from a woman that says that Ben needs some assistance because he, quote, has been on cocaine for the last five days. He's not being violent. He's just scared.

That's what she tells the operator. He's scared or the person on the call is? He's just scared. That's what she tells the operator. He's scared or the person on the call is? He's just scared. Ben's freaking out because he hasn't slept and he's been on coke for five days. His mind's fucking mush. Dispatch asks what he's on and caller says cocaine. Yeah, I just said that. They ask his age and he's just like, he's on fucking cocaine.

They asked if he's overdosed and the caller says, no, he's conscious, but he's losing his mind. Just, you know, he's out of it. He's a fucking mess. He's a lunatic Australian. Father gets on a flight that night. Wow. How silver-haired middle-aged is this fucking guy? I will get on a plane tomorrow and drag your coke-addled ass out of California.

I'm going to fly 27 hours. After I made a complete bullshit statement to the media making myself look like an asshole on this nice reputation that I've built for 40 years. Thanks, dickhead. This is a silver-haired, middle-aged white man extraordinaire right here. That's America saying, come get your boy. Come get your boy.

So November 19, 2007, the AFL bans Ben for 12 months. Wow. He's banned for a year. He's the first player in history to be banned for 12 months. Wow. He's banned for a year. He's the first player in history to be banned for a year. That's why I'm saying they don't have the same troubles we do over here. No doubt. We were banning people in the 30s for fuck's sake. We've been banning people for 100 years over here.

It's crazy. 2008, filming starts on the documentary Ben Cousins, Such Is Life. That's the name of it. That's the name of it because that's the giant dipshit Tupac thug life tattoo he has on his stomach. Get out of here. It says such as life. In that pattern that goes from waist to waist. That fucking rainbow.

Arc pattern. Oh, Christ. It says such as life in that lettering. What a douche. Yeah, that's Australian for thug life. Such as life. Maybe he thought that's what it said. I think over here it's thug life, motherfucker. And over there it's i think oh here it's thug life motherfucker and over there it's such as life mate i don't know like that's they mean the same thing though i

think those are the same things in two different countries is that possible am i onto something i don't know so uh such as life mate so march 2008 documentary starts filming he claims to be cleaned for 30 days and doing great. He's good now. I'm good now. I'm ready to play again. I'm doing fine. One of the conditions into October 2008, one of the conditions of returning to the AFL is that he passes a hair sample test designed to detect if he's taken illicit drugs in the last three months.

So he shows up with his hedge and body waxed and passes the test. He waxed his head? Waxed his whole body and shaved his head and waxed his body and then did the test. Sure. Took his eyebrows off. Here you go, asshole. Yeah. How's that? So December 16th 2008, his crazy

hairless ass is signed by Richmond. He looks like powder. He's a fucking mess, man. All pink from being the Australian sun. Fuck, he is signed by richmond he looks like powder he's fucking mess man all pink from being the australian sun fuck he's signed by richmond he looks like a fucking newborn mouse oh my god uh the richmond tigers sign him uh he takes a brief uh training session which with which drew thousands of fans to their headquarters yeah he's a big deal still and he signed with another team and the owners are like, we've had double our

fans immediately. They said that's what he's worth to us. He said at this point he was frank about his drug habits. He said he also, well let's hear him say what he has to say here. This is about his drug habits, his recovery and his relationship with underworld figures.

Let's find out what he said in their own words. Quote, I'm very grateful to Terry Wallace and the Richmond Football Club for putting the faith in me and giving me the opportunity to resurrect my football career. I think I've used the last 12 months to the best I can. I'm really proud of the time and effort I put into my rehabilitation. I feel more confident now than I ever have, and I can contribute both on and off the field and lead a normal life whilst trying to get the best out of myself without the use of drugs. I think I've copped my fair whack.

I'm not complaining. I'm not saying I'm hard done by it, but I think now is probably the time I can move on. He said some Australian shit in there. But he also threw a lot of religious quotes in there. He did. Right at the beginning. He's trying to...

Resurrection. There was another word in there, too. He's trying to use all the A, look at me and don't worry. He's trying to fucking just convince people that I'm good now. At one point in the conference, his manager, Ricky Nixon, was forced to intercept probing questions about his relationship with two gangland figures that they really wanted to know about. It's a guy named Angelo Venditti. Cousins admits to knowing Venditti.

He says, quote, yeah, I know Angelo Venditti. Yeah. admits to knowing Venditti. He says, quote, yeah, I know Angelo Venditti. Yeah. He says, my association or friendship or contact with him has been nothing to do with anything of a criminal nature. As far as I'm aware, I don't think he's been convicted yet, but that's not for me to go into because the guy was just released on bail for murder.

Well, he was charged for murder. This guy, I don't know. Yeah, I know that guy, but he's not convicted yet, so he's not necessarily a murderer, but I wouldn't know. 2009 begins a relationship with a woman named Malia Tynesheff. Yep. Tynesheff, we'll call her. Sounds right. She's also into meth.

Fuck. She is into meth. Great. But she insists later on that she stopped using when her last child is born, which is in 2014. So for the next five years, though, she's going to be messing it up with him. This is Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston here is the problem. They have two children together also. Oh, my God.

Bobby and Angelique. Bobby they have in 2011, Angelique in 2013. She also, Malia, also has two other children from a previous relationship that she's bringing into this, all meth-y. Whoa. These research papers,

by the way, I found a couple of them. One is called Ben Cousins, and I read this shit, by the way. Ben Cousins and the, quote,

double life, exploring citizenship and the voluntary compulsivity binary through the experiences of a drug-addicted Elite Athlete. This is some medical shit. Okay. By Kate Sear and Suzanne Frazier.

And also Transcript of Case Study by Ben Cousins by Kaylin Murray. How to Stimulants Improve Performance. Ben Cousins and the Use of Stimulants. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And this is Australian? This is Australian. blah blah blah blah blah this is australian this is australia he's causing them to examine both the physical like medical you know right and the societal fucking like you know that cultural aspects of it ridiculous he's this is crazy they're gonna be teaching him in university courses here

uh 2010 documentary dissect him when he dies they are they're gonna have to see what the hell happened in there they're gonna have like one of those. The alien's going to pop out from Alien. 2010. I hope so. It is. It's going to be high as fuck, too. Yeah. Documentary.

Bloody nose. Documentary is released. 2010 documentary is released. Let's get Ben's opening statement on this, OK? He's in a white dress shirt looking crisp. Hi, I'm Ben Cousins. We know. We get it.

What you're about to watch is a documentary we started back in early 2008. At that stage, I didn't know where it would lead, but I thought it was important to have a record of the things that were happening to me. I understand that some of the footage that you'll see in this film is troubling, and it doesn't always depict me in the best light. It's often very raw and confronting. But I feel there's some real lessons to be learned here and I genuinely believe that some good can come from it for everyone. And I hope that this documentary can send a powerful message to young people or better

yet all people about the way drugs affect your life. If it helps save one person's life or helps us better understand addiction then it will have served its real purpose. And whoever cut this together had better have like cut those segments like when it says there

will be portions of this that will show me in a bad light like they better have cut away from him to a moment of him like fisting one of his fucking players. This is like old school public service announcement. Him in front of a blank background. And then there's some football footage.

Yeah, exactly. There's some football footage, a few sound bites, and then within three minutes of the opening, this includes that opening statement, which took over a minute to deliver, there's footage of him hitting a crack pipe. With gusto. I mean, this isn't, oh, I guess I'll try it. Tentative, hey, how do you like this thing?

He's rolling the ball and everything. He's fucking rolling it like a hardcore street. Like he's on the fucking wire. He just got a new package. Fucking Marlo got the new package. You don't know anything about that shit at all. He is fucking ripping this shit up. And he's like dancing while he's doing it. Like this isn't, he's not, he's proud of this shit.

He's having fun. Smell the crack. Wow. This should have cut to much more hardcore shit he was doing. It's day cut to crazy shit later on. It's a complete fucking mess, that thing. He's a disaster. They show him partying.

We should film a parody of this. They show him partying, and it's a fucking mess, man. That ain't nothing. We could do it way better. No one can party like this guy, man. Let me tell you something. Believe me, we'll figure it out. This guy's rough.

We'll make it horrific. We'll have somebody rape a kangaroo. Oh, that'll happen. I'm sure. You know what? That's not out of the realm of possibility for this guy. I'm going to be honest with you. He doesn't remember everything.

Well, he doesn't remember how many yards he went through, how many roofs he went on. Right. Who knows if between a roof and the river he raped a kangaroo. It's possible. It's possible. I'm not saying it's not. His book is released, My Life Story, November 15, 2010. Very little of your life story actually in there, but it's his account.

It calls it an account of his double life and what it cost him. It's so fucking funny, this whole thing. Ben hides nothing, and the result is one of the most remarkable sporting memoirs ever published in Australia it's like one of their first tell all books they qualified it there at the end in Australia they had to throw that part in they have tell all books other places

because by the way Lawrence Taylor's book is fucking incredible it is a tell all that's fucking insane yeah this guy is child's play compared to Lawrence Taylor. Sending hookers to players' rooms. Oh, it's the best. Sending over pitchers, pitchers, James, pitchers of kamikaze shots to teams to have them party it up the night before a game.

I know all about Lawrence Taylor's actions. The man was a fucking madman. It's great. And women, they let those women right in, too. They would knock on the door. So his tell-all book isn't shit, is what I'm saying. No, it's nothing compared to that. In Australia, it's the best book.

We've heard what he's done so far. He's been talking about running away from a booze bus and getting drunk in a casino. That is nothing. Lawrence Taylor's way worse. I would say so. And this is about to get the wow. Okay. January 14, 2012, he is again in rehab for drug addiction, and he's committed to a suburban mental health unit after suffering a drug-induced psychosis.

Yeah, he went a little fucking nuts. Apparently, he said he hit his head in the fall, and he thinks that's what it is, but no, you're just on a shitload of drugs. That's what it is. But no, you're just on a shitload of drugs. He was admitted to the Sir Charles Gardner Hospital in Perth and transferred to a mental health unit right after that. They're like, this fucker is way too crazy for us to handle. Now, OK, March 27, 2012. All right. He's going to go into hiding after this.

OK. He's at the airport. He flew from Perth to Esperance. Okay. And this is 7.15 at night. He gets to the airport. Mind you, his wife and son are with him somewhere. He is taken to a private room of the airport.

They say they want to search him. They immediately find him and they walk him right to a room. There's something going on here. They find $1,000 cash on him and a piece of paper with a bunch of cell phone numbers found in his luggage, which is

a little shady. An airport worker watching, a guy named Rob Tate, said that it wasn't like a big scene or anything like that. There was a couple of detectives who turned up in suits when the plane landed. They just walked over to Ben and grabbed him. He said they took him to a nearby room. They closed the curtains, the whole deal.

He had been the last weekend with his partner, with Malaya and Bobby, his son. Lately, he's been attending the Drug Rehabilitation Center Teen Challenge. He's been trying to attend rehab. He's trying to talk to kids. He's been trying to do all this shit. Anyway, Cousins told them, the officers, that he had no drugs before they searched

him. They didn't search him at all yet. He said, I have no drugs at all. They search his jacket. They find two unused syringes, which is not terrific. It's legal. It's legal, but shady. He's not a diabetic. Right.

If you're not a diabetic and you have syringes. Those would be 12 shots, sir. Yeah, I'm sorry. But at that point, I question your motives. Yeah. So they end up, they find the syringes. They find $890 cash concealed in a black sock in his bag when they look a little further. In a black sock?

Why don't you have that in your pocket, you weirdo? Because he's hiding it because he doesn't want to have it on him going through security because for reasons that we're going to find out. A bunch of prescription medication, but that's all his. That's fine. He's then stripped, and like they do at prison style, they strip him and tell him to bend over. And cough.

Lift your sack and bend over. Squat and cough. One of those. And when they do, they see a tissue protruding from his ass. Oh, boy. He is asked to remove it. Get your ass napkin out, sir. Sir, you have an ass napkin.

When they do remove it, they find 4.65 grams of meth in his ass. Oh, my God. In his ass. That is a shitload of meth to have up your ass. He is. It's really not that much. It's a few grams. That's not that much. To put up your ass? Putting anything up your ass

is too much. That seems like a lot of meth up your ass. Especially, this is like the shards of glass meth. It's not like powder. It's rock meth. It's ice. He's got like this. Oh, my God. It's ice. He's got shit like that.

Jesus. It's fucking. Also, too, a napkin. That's your delivery system? You couldn't find anything that you could lube up a little? You don't have condoms, sir. A fucking napkin?

But then, you know what? Napkins rip, too. How did he do that? A goddamn napkin. Did he take the one off the plane? This is what. Did he have it in his pocket and he put it in the one on the plane? That's what I see.

This is what I was thinking. Did he like go into the bathroom and stick it up there real quick before he walked out to security? Or did he like, I don't know how he did it, but like that doesn't seem like he put that in flu with a tissue with a mess with fucking bathroom on the plane. Well, by then I would assume it would start to like take your ass liquid. I would assume it would break down the meth. It would dissolve the napkin and you'd start just taking in fucking meth through your asshole,

which I would assume would fuck you up, I would guess. I don't know. Maybe there's only 4.8 grams left. This guy had meth up his ass, everybody. He had a fucking, this is a guy. There was probably like 10 grams when he put it in there. This is a guy, yeah, that's what I mean. It dissolved up his ass.

This is a guy who comes from a rich family. He's successful. He's the MVP of their sport. Bunch of meth up his ass. Up his ass. Wow, we've never had that before. That's crazy. They escorted him to where Malia and-

Where people go with meth up their ass. Yeah. Unbelievable, man. He ends up, there's bail conditions. He must report to the police station three times a week and remain in his home, North Beach home in Perth. And he could face, if convicted on this, because they charge him with possession with intent to sell.

Oh. That's a lot of meth up your ass. Okay. And he's smuggling it on a plane, so they're like, why are you smuggling a bunch of meth up your ass? You can't get meth while you're in town? And where did he come from? Perth.

So he flew from Perth to Perth? It's in Perth. I don't know where it is here. I was just hoping it wasn't trafficking. No, no, no. Well, that's why it's intent to sell. Got it. But he's trafficking within the same thing.

So he could face if convicted up to 25 years in jail. Holy shit. And a $100,000 fine. Sweet Pete, they take it serious. Wow, they're not fucking around with that. My God. Intent to smuggle and all this shit. I mean, that's the maximum of everything, whatever.

But still, to have that as even a possibility. Looming over your head? Holy fucking shit. He's had meth up his fucking ass and he's sitting in his goddamn house waiting for the fuck. And then he's on the lam after this. He doesn't check into the police station. He runs away.

Meth up his ass. He probably wanted that meth, too. You know, he was pissed. He's like, shit, they took all my money so I can't get any more meth now. It's a lot of meth. Because think about how he thinks of it. He was planning on rocking that meth when he got out of that airport. He was going to just house that shit. Flashbacks

of that fucking, of that pipe in the video. He was going to get annihilated with that shit and now he has nothing. So you know he's fucking pissed off. You know he's pissed. He's out on the street looking for a fucking dime bag of meth or whatever meth. Give me a gram. I don't care.

A half gram. Give me a tiny amount of meth. Quarter gram bags. I see that. I'll take that. He's wandering around. But after all that walking, he gets hungry. Oh, good.

He gets hungry and he smells something delicious and he opens up the door and it's the shawarma man. He's back. And he says, how is it you've come to arrive here? Why are you here? Why are you come here? I hear, what? You, no, no, no, no.

I come from shit country. Bad thing. You come beautiful from the beach and you put things up inside your lamb hole? Why? Lamb hole, yes. That's where you eat the lamb and come out, yes. That's where you eat the lamb. It come out the hole.

That's all I eat is lamb. I don't know. But I make for you if you want. No, I don't make for you. Sign say closed. You have lamb meth up your ass. Why? Why?

Why you do that? Why? Sign say closed. You go now. You go. Okay, I make for you. Never mind. Okay.

And poof. And then in a poof of shawarma, he's gone. So is the restaurant and Ben's staring at it like a long closed down building. Where did it go? Where did it go? Poof. 2012, April 2nd, a lawyer for Ben Cousins. This is when he's starting to, he comes back and actually appears now.

He goes to court. A lawyer says that he will not go to jail because of the offense, because the amount he was caught with was too small to go to jail, 4.56 grams of meth. So they're saying they're trying to get it down to possession here. He's requesting the removal of strict bail conditions, which requires him to go to the police station three times a week, which does seem excessive.

That's a lot. Basically, the lawyer said the fact is he's not going to get a prison term. That's all he's saying. That's nice. He removed the report. The judge removes the reporting conditions and set bail at $2,000 with, you know, just come back and see us again sometime here. As he left the court, he was pursued by 40 journalists, cameramen, photographers. You know, they're wondering why you had meth up your ass.

He's not Charlie Sheen, though. No, but meth up your ass is particularly hilarious. That's not just like meth. Like, dude, they found that up your ass, dude. That's funny as fuck. What are you, smuggling it into prison? Charlie Sheen has done some wild shit, too, and they do that to him. April 2012.

Cousins is pulled over by police in North Beach and arrested after they discover a weed and a meth pipe in his car. North Beach, Miami? No, no, Perth. Wait, that's South Beach. Yeah, yeah, South Beach. Nice. Fuck, I'm like, what? Is he in America? About a week later, he's arrested again, pulled over by police at 7.20

in the morning and arrested again. He's released on bail to appear in court next week, but then he was arrested again the day after that for breaching his bail conditions. Fuck, man. Yeah, it's insane. So he appears in a video link, and they talk about it. They talk about how they found a— basically, they looked in his car, and he had a Dolce & Gabbana shoulder bag where they found the pipes.

And they also found a – like a plastic bag with a shitload of weed in it with like a chip clip on top. He had it chip clipped, which I find hilarious. In a Dolce & Gabbana bag. Yeah, all that stuff. Hilarious. A pipe and a weed pipe. That's unbelievable. Unreal.

That's like a rich lady's beach purse. Yeah, all that stuff. Hilarious. A meth pipe and a weed pipe. That's unbelievable. Unreal. So, John. That's like a rich lady's beach purse. Yeah. And he's got it loaded up to get annihilated with a chip clipped. Fucking wrecked. Where's that meth? Chip clipped weed bag. Jesus, but he didn't have any meth.

He must have been on his way to get some. June 27, 2012. He's been fined $1,000 in court after pleading guilty to three drug charges. This is for the airport thing. That's what he got for having all that meth up his ass. $1,000. $1,000 in court after pleading guilty to three drug charges. This is for the airport thing. That's what he got for having all that meth up his ass, $1,000. $1,000 fine. That's it. The charges he pled guilty to were possession of methamphetamine, cannabis, and possession

of a smoking implement. The court, they basically said how the police were tipped off to him, and they were. He was bringing – what they were doing is he was tipped off not by – about the airport. He was tipped off by – the police were tipped off by the rehabilitation center that suspected him of bringing drugs into the rehab center and selling them. That's what they said. That's brilliant. Yeah. So they tipped –

It's like a Girl Scout cookie salesperson standing outside of a fucking – To resell them. Yeah. It's outside of the weed shop. Cousin's lawyer said that Ben acknowledges that he made a huge error in judgment. He's reengaged with rehabilitation. He's undergoing constant urine analysis. Constant. That's just a funny word.

Pee in the cup again. Again. I can't anymore. Constant. I don't have to. We haven't seen you for the last 10 minutes. Pee in another cup. Pee in another cup. We want to make sure for the last 10 minutes pee in another cup. Pee in another cup.

We want to make sure that you're not high right now. Jesus. Constant urine analysis. Constant urine analysis. Jesus. The fine was $800. That's when you know you're a fuck up. Yeah, constantly having to pee.

How does he not know at this point? When anyone is forcing you to pee, you're a fuck up. I can pee whenever I want. Anytime. Anytime I feel like it. I don't have to and I want to. It's up to me. So he's fined a total.

The fine is $800, $66 in court costs, and $125.70 for destruction of the drug implements, apparently, to destroy them. And 70 cents. And 70 cents. They broke it down to weight, probably. We have an In Their Own Words about this whole situation. This is in July 2012. All this shit just came to a head.

In their own words, quote, things are going well. Obviously, I have had some issues to deal with, but I've got to a point in my life now where I can look forward and positively. I'm in a rebuilding phase, and hopefully some doors can be open and kick on because it's obviously really important to the family life that I'm trying to lead. Ah, Ben. He's fine. I'm good to lead. Ah, Ben, he's fine. I'm good now. Things are going well. I just got busted with meth up my ass two months ago.

But other than that, things are going great. I've been busted with meth up my ass and arrested like 11 times since. But it's fine. Things are going well. It's going well. It's going well. June 2013, they have the daughter. Him and Malia have the daughter.

March 12, 2015, he's driving erratically along Preston Point Road. He fails to stop. He's a nightmare. He's driving recklessly. He fails to stop and fails to agree to a breath test after finally being apprehended. But that's not all that happened. No. They ended up – he had a slow speed chase. He did an OJ where the police called him on his cell phone and were concerned that they

thought his vehicle was stolen. They didn't think it was him in the car driving like an asswipe. So they called him and they're like, Ben? And he's like, yeah. Yeah. They're like, you're not in your car, are you? He's like, fuck yeah, I am. They're like, okay, never mind.

We're going to catch you now. Never mind. We got you. You want to stop or what here? So he told the police that he was on his way to a family emergency and wasn't going to stop for shit. So at the corner of Gill and Solomon streets, they finally got him to stop and get out of his car and arrested him because he wouldn't take a breathalyzer. And he was clearly fucked up and there was no emergency. He spent several hours in the Fremantle police station, and then somebody came and picked him up.

When they asked him if he had any comment, he just said no and was driven away at 3 in the morning. So that tells you a lot there. Jesus. March 15, 2015. This is three days later, Jimmy. My God. He is assessed at a mental health facility after being caught behind the secure fences of Perth's special air service regiment. What?

He's climbing over military installations. Holy shit. He's apprehended at the Campbell Barracks in Swanbourne at about 11 p.m. on a Saturday night. On a Saturday? He's out doing drugs and getting crazy and climbing over a military installation wall. Fuck yeah. They're Campbell Barracks. Imagine just getting that high.

Where do I go now? Jesus. Picture it like stripes and he just jumped over the fence. They say the spokesperson for them said no defense personnel were involved in the incident and they're looking over the security as to figure out how the fuck this guy did it. Why the fuck? So he's assessing the mental health ward again and has been discharged. That was March 15th, March 23rd.

He has stopped. Police stop his car around Shreve Road in Canning Vale. And his erratic behavior leads police to form the opinion that he needs medical attention. He flees on foot, jumps over a fence of a home, and climbs onto the roof of the house and starts saying, I'm not coming down, I'm not coming down and screaming crazy shit. Did he live tweet it?

He did not. They finally get him to come down and into custody. The reason why they were looking for him in the first place, he should have live tweeted. That would have been amazing. The reason why in the first place they were doing this is because he was seen not only driving erratically earlier, but also for some reason stalking around a Sikh temple taking pictures of shit.

He's taking pictures of Sikh temples and driving erratically. What a fucking weirdo. Who knows what's up his ass at this point. A police spokesman said, quote, he was clearly unwell and as a result not arrested but rather taken to Armand Dale Hospital. They feel bad. The cops feel bad for him at this point. They're taking pity on this fuck. Yeah, that's – the lawyer said, quote, what I can say now is he's doing well.

He's working. He's doing fencing work in Cali, which he goes to do. That's what he was doing. He was climbing over that fence. That's it. He was practicing. Yeah, checking to see how secure it was. No shit.

Apparently a friend of his owns a fencing company and uh he's out there selling fencing who knows he's just the face of the place you go out there and you know you fucking be at our party and everyone will come to meet you type of thing will they still though at this point maybe to just get a look at him charge two bits of gander at this point we had a listener that sent me pictures and video of ryan leaf speaking to an audience oh god packed that's what i mean the audience was full and he was a fuck up this guy was actually a good player leaf sucked he was the worst he was terrible so june 26 2015 uh he is in court for the march 23rd incident uh wow uh they find him guilty of property damage, trespassing offenses, and also saying that he had a mental illness at the time of his offenses.

He's fined $800 again, $150 in court costs, the whole deal. It's a complete mess. July 29th, 2015, he's in court for the slow speed chase. Good God. He says he was having delusions that his family was being held by police when he drove recklessly and failed to stop and refused a breath test. Yeah. So he pleads guilty to charges in court. That's called you're fucked up, bro.

You're fucked up in the head. You've been on a lot. He's probably been up for four days and he doesn't know what's going on. But he's also, he's fucking, he's annihilated. He's annihilated. He's not having fucking clear, concise thoughts. His thoughts are a little, yeah. He needs to not do drugs and drink.

That'd be helpful. Let's give that a shot. He's fined $2,679 in total and license is suspended for 10 months. Oh. Yeah, and he also has a treatment order where he has to actually get treatment. In that thing also, the funniest part of it is when he got out of the car finally, he didn't turn it off or take it out of gear, so it rolled 50 meters into a tree. That's what they say.

Which I thought was fucking amazing. That's goddamn amazing. And then they're like, would you take a breathalyzer? He's like, I don't think there's a need, so. Well, then he took the breathalyzer later. He had a 0.00 reading. He wasn't drunk at all. No, he's not drunk.

He's just on drugs and fucked up. He probably fucking hasn't slept in four goddamn days. May 2016, Ben's former, they've broken up now, former girlfriend here, Malaya. Right. She takes out a violence restraining order against him. Oh, shit. So she is scared of him. Now he's violent.

He's violent. Well, Jesus Christ. Think about it. First of all, how embarrassed his family is right now. How embarrassed is his father? Oh, fuck. His father was so proud. He's following in my footsteps.

He's the best. They all love him. He is just a fucking low. His father, his poor mother, even just all his siblings, everybody. He's ruined teams. He's pissed them off. Police have to just think he's hilarious at this point. He lied to a worker about who he was.

His ex, his kids. He has two kids. He's doing all this with two children. I feel bad for all these people, Jimmy, all these people, but not nearly as bad as I feel for Ben Cousins, Assistant Director of Facilities and Operations for the University of North Florida. Oh, shit. Go Ospreys. Yeah. Whatever.

Go ahead. Ben Cousins, Managing Director at Cousins and Cousins Architects in London. Oh, no. London, UK. Ben Cousins is a staff reporter and multimedia journalist at the Chronicle Herald in Halifax, Nova Scotia. B Cousins at Herald dot C.A. If you want to follow him. Ben Cousins, he says about himself, quote, I'm a games industry veteran specializing in games monetized with virtual goods and delivered online.

And he is in Stockholm, Sweden. Ben Cousins, Ph.D. researcher. Oh, she's just like our guy. Right. Ben Cousins joined Bristol Rugby ahead of the 2013-14. He is there. He's working with that man, getting his PhD in exercise, nutrition, and health. How about that?

But you Google, that's sad, sports, and he's in it. And health, and drugs and stuff. And one more who's really just like our guy because we really want to make it uh ben cousins and about himself he says quote i am currently a postdoctoral researcher in genetic functional analysis and applications program at msri in 2018 i will move to columbia university as a postdoc in the ieor department my god just like our guy what What a hero. It was either that or a bunch of coke.

He couldn't decide. That guy put all that energy into doing what he's doing with that long ass title. And he's, you Google him, jerk off. Coke like a motherfucker. Jerk off. Yeah. June 27th, 2016, the police come because Ben was in the middle of the street directing traffic on a highway. On a highway.

On a highway. Okay. At one point, witnesses reported that he tried to hop on the back of a stranger's motorcycle. Jesus. And multiple police vehicles also he was trying to jump on. And also the police helicopter had to come and look for him he ran away and hit out with the window washer guys like under an overpass sweet pete there's fucking homeless guys yeah there's a quote here vagrants

check this out the guys who wash windows here where you uh get off the freeway said he was hanging around with them for about three hours, but he appeared to be incoherent. Window washing vagrants are going, this guy's a fucking weirdo. You have problems, man. These guys come up to you and go, can I wash a window? Jesus Christ, calm down. And how pissed must they be that windshields wash themselves now like yeah

the car industry works out of a job a witness said quote he was really lost confused and making no sense at all he's just out of his fucking mind uh yeah and then finally he was arrested uh near the uh uh kwanana freeway around five o'clock in a bush. Ouch. He went and hid in a bush. It was very, very sad, man. That's homeless. That's fucking bad. He went and said. That's bottom of the barrel.

He was taken to the hospital. They got an ambulance, not a police car for that one. They were like, come on, guys. Let's just do this. Jesus. A spokesman for the hospital said, quote, we haven't seen any members of Ben's family as of yet, but it's obviously just a tragically sad situation. No doubt.

You bet your ass. It's almost over. He's released from the hospital about 24 hours after the incident. There's a crazy story around this time about he has to come home from one of his many court appearances, and he doesn't have a ride. And so a journalist, a News Corp journalist, asks him if he wants a ride. A woman named Sarah Blake. And she gives him a ride. And during the 10-minute car ride, this is what he tells her. Oh, boy.

When asked about where he would like to go, where she needs to take him, this is how he said his whole thing. This sums up his whole life in their own words. Quote, it's hard to know where to go. I am living out of a backpack at the moment. I move between three mates' houses, spend time on different couches. There's a lady I knock around with these days who I stay with. Otherwise, I just move on to another place. Well, it's a bit of a facade, really.

I am having a bit of a tough time. He's a fucking mess. That's the fucking ending statement in whatever book he writes. That's the one right there. That's the fucking ending statement in whatever book he writes. That's the one right there. That's the sentence. Yeah. The reporter said, quote, Ben is still there, but he's troubled. There's a lot of people who are really worried about him.

I walked away from that conversation feeling like everybody is extremely, extremely concerned about him. I would say so. October 18, 2016. 2016, police end up at a home in Canning Vale at about 1 p.m. where Ben Cousins is arrested and charged with two counts of breaching a violent restraining order and one count of possessing eight grams of methamphetamine. Oh, shit. Lots of methamphetamine. Now he has more than he had when it was up his ass.

Yep. This is for the restraining order that Malia had against him. He violated it. Showed up at her house. And he was at the house. Every time, this is so funny, his lawyer in court for the restraining order thing, his lawyer said, quote, he's actually in a very good place at the moment. Every time in court. Every time. Yeah, jail.

He could be dead on the floor. He's like, he's actually doing great right now. It's fine. This is not a coma. actually doing great right now it's fine this is not a coma it's very even the in the press said he said this as as ben was noticeably agitated and fidgety and like moving around a lot scratching sores and stuff yeah great place isn't a really great place right now the police prosecutor said that he's not uh said that agreed that cousins wasn't a flight risk and granted bail uh only condition is he must stay 50 meters away from his ex-partner's home and not contact

her apart from text messages to arrange visitation between the kids. Right. Visits. It's weird because visits have been carried. He's telling him visits have to be away from the home. And Ben said that he's been in regular contact, but the visits were mostly in the front yard or in the cul-de-sac in front of his ex's house there. He said, quote, I have just been seeing them in the front yard or in the cul-de-sac in front of his ex's house there. He said, quote, I've just been seeing them in the front yard or in the street.

Yeah, he's got nowhere to fucking take them. Yeah, well, and the magistrate here says that the parents are going to have to sort it out. He's like, you guys are going to have to work this out. If you're going to have access, it's going to have to be outside of that address, he tells him. And he says to him very specifically at the end here, if you breach, quote, if you breach any of your bail conditions, you will be arrested. OK, he knows not to breach his fucking bail conditions. His other lawyer also said that Ben was, quote, in a very good place.

So they just say he's fine and everything's fine. I'm good now. He doesn't even need to say I'm good now. They think he's good now. OK, let's get through this run here because this is a crazy little run here at the end. November 23, 2016. There's an accident. Ben gets in an accident with a truck.

Driving? Driving in a truck. He has minor injuries in the crash. He's treated at the scene, and then he's transferred to the emergency department at the hospital. The truck driver involved didn't require any treatment, but he had just missed a court date two days before that. They find out he's at the hospital, and sure enough, he is- He's arrested.

He's ended up in court in a locked up, in like a guarded room, basically, waiting to get out of there so he can be arrested. His ex here, May Lee, has said that at one point, she just wants him to be locked up in a psychiatric ward. She said at one point, because the children and I had to stay in refuge so he couldn't find us. That's how bad it got. I couldn't deal with him anymore. He was violent.

He can be quite aggressive when he gets cross. He behaved so far from the person he is. He's crazy. They're so polite. They are, right? When he gets cross? Jesus, who talks like that? Australians and Brits.

When he gets crossed? Jesus, who talks like that? Australians and Brits. He's fined $2,000 for breaching the restraining order and drug charges. And again, the judge warning him any future breaches will result in a mandatory prison sentence. Oh, shit. Know that that's out there, Ben, please. January 31st, 2017 is the first day of a school at his daughter's school. He attends and then comes within 50 feet of Malia in breach of his order.

The next day, he did the same exact thing, attended the school and shouted the names of his children over the fence. Like, hey, Bobby, which just is so fucking sad. children over the fence like hey bobby which just is so fucking sad uh the next day the uh the deputy principal uh asked cousins to come to his office and talk about this and say why are you doing this yeah uh three days later at a church attended by malia and her children uh cousins is alleged to have again breached the 50 meter restriction by tapping her on the shoulder at church to say hi i'm here'm here. Stop doing it. Wait till you hear about how many times he texted her. The next day, Ben allegedly phoned her repeatedly while she was with the police, then came to

the house and shouted from the street. Good God. He wants to go to prison. Prosecutors say the aggravated, they're charging him with aggravated stalking from this, by the way, relates not only to that, but it also relates to numerous other things of intimidating actions and things like that. The worst part of it, though, just in the bombarding her with thousands of phone calls and text messages since October. We have the monthly totals. But at one point on one particular day day he contacted her 103 times in one

day wow 103 times that's my goodness way too many she says she's fearful for herself and the safety of her children because of his addiction she says he's erratic and unreasonable of course obviously february 23rd uh he is arrested again in perth he's charged with uh with uh drug offenses this is when they finally arrest him with all this, charged him with aggravated stalking because he has drugs, too, and they arrest him again. Obviously, he doesn't go anywhere without drugs. Smoking implement, aggravated stalking, seven counts of breaching a violence restraining order, and driving without a license. Good God. A lot of fucking charges, man.

He doesn't understand. The court hears that he contacted or attempted to contact his former partner 437 times in October, 542 in November, 307 times in December, 345 times in January, and 371 times in February. Fuck. Wow. Holy shit. And he got arrested on the 24th, so he had a few more days left to keep doing that here. He says he wants to plead his case. He says that why he was in within 10 meters of her. He said that he's been having to like hire rental cars so that she that the ex can transport the children. She doesn't have a car. He says that he expects to go to jail for the breach of the restraining order.

She said, quote, she told the court, quote, he would just turn up at my house in the middle of the night and bang on the door, which, wow. And then at another point, and she does a public interview, she says, quote, the kids need you. We need you. Come home to us. Well, what? So what? Which is it? She wants him to get healthy and then come home to us, but he doesn't get healthy.

This is why he texts you so much, because you give him mixed signals, too. Well, maybe, but also I think she's, I don't know, she's saying get clean, I think. I don't know what she's saying. But she also wants him around the kids. I'm sure, wants a father for him. March 20th, 2017, his lawyer said that they have an opportunity for a spot in a residential rehab program, but the prosecutor said they're seeking a prison sentence and that's not going to happen.

He's been in custody since the February 24th. The problem why they won't let him out is while he's been in jail, his phone, the phone was tapped. And he told his father he could quit whenever he wanted to, but that he didn't want to stop taking meth. He said, quote, I have a bit of gear and it makes me feel normal. I am not going to stop. I don't want to stop. And then he goes to court going, I will go out and be clean as a whistle. No, you won't, asshole.

Yeah, but his lawyer has the balls to say these calls were made in an earlier time he was in prison and now he's feeling much better. Now he's in a good place. He literally says he no longer feels that way. He's in a good place and he said he wants this to happen. He's very concerned he's going to

lose his rehab spot, the whole deal. The judge has a little word for him on this whole thing. The judge said, quote, your record will fast catch up with you. That will be the greatest fall from earth, from grace of all time. You are no use to your children if you are completely wrecked because of drug issues. Very fair. That judge has been listening to this show. Exactly. I would say so. Shit. March 28th, 2017. This is the stalking.

He pleads guilty to 11 charges, including the stalking, aggravated stalking, drug possession, the whole deal. He appears in court for sentencing. The court hears all about how he's been using two grams of methamphetamine a day. Holy shit. That's a shitload. And had a, quote, entrenched drug addiction, which was, quote, the root of all his problems. So they're trying to say, don't send him to jail. Just send him to this rehab.

It's all meth. It's all meth. The judge here has a different way of thinking. The judge says, quote, it is very serious offending and it must be treated as such. It could not be seen as a momentary lapse on his part. There needs to be a general deterrent for this sort of behavior. It's incredibly disappointing for a person in your position who can provide inspiration for others to dabble in illicit drugs. It's a tale of despair and missed opportunity and a knock-on effect to those who love and admire you. You, sir, may fuck off.

Sentenced to one year in prison. Oh, shit. He just got a year? Just got a year. Oh, boy. one year in prison oh shit he just got a year just got a year oh boy one year in prison uh he'll be eligible for parole in six months all right back dated to february 24th okay uh he's also fine blah blah blah uh his lawyer says it's disappointing especially when ben has made the decision to go to rehabilitation but you know ben's doing okay yeah he's fine now good place he's good he's in a good place in a good place he said it this is the first time that i've seen ben in a long time that he's clear thinking his mental health is very stable it's a shame this opportunity is missed for him

to go to rehab during this when he gets sentenced there's a huge tropical cyclone down there that's fucking shit up like really did a lot of damage tropical cyclone debbie it's basically not a story that day they're in the middle of it it's been nothing but that he gets sentenced press just fuck the cyclone fuck that shit there's some people are drowning we gotta talk about this shit uh they do that uh he's in prison so now he's in prison he's knocked that off the table may 2017 he's assaulted by a few inmates oh shit at first it's reported that he refuses to play in a game of footy with them, and they're pissed off at him. But then it comes out later that somebody stole his coffee mug, and he was pissed off going around talking shit. And people took issue with that.

And a couple people tried to jump on him and fucking jack him up a little bit. You know how it goes. A gram of meth is $80. He's doing $160 worth of meth. I mean, that's American street value. It's probably a little bit more there. That's probably more on a fucking island over there, yeah. So you're talking about maybe $200, $250 a day that that guy's got to do?

Jesus. How the fuck? That's a lot of dick sucking. He's a mess. Imagine what a mess. That's a lot of whatever he's doing to get that money. Man. June 2017, May Lee, her interview is released publicly here.

She said she had never seen cousins buy or obtain drugs, but frequently used cocaine and methamphetamine in front of her, also with her, as we know from before. She claimed that at the end of their relationship, he was being, quote, inappropriate in front of the children, and she discovered he was cheating on her with other women, which is the was being, quote, inappropriate in front of the children. And she discovered he was cheating on her with other women, which is the main problem. That's the problem. She said, quote, he chose drugs over everything. I know he loves his children very much.

They are his life. But the way he goes about things, he needs to understand that there needs to be a process to see the children. And if he wants to see the children, he needs to give clean urine analysis, to give clean urine analysis and then they're all his as long as he's clean. Wow. How shitty is that? You've got to take a drug test to see your kids. That's rough, man. That's brutal.

There's a lot of people like that. She says about the kids, I'm certainly not going to let any – allow anything else to hurt them. We've all been through enough. Enough is enough now. Fair. She's hoping he's going to come out a changed man, she said, but she's not holding her breath. You know, she said, you don't want to give up on people, but you never know here. Who the fuck knows?

She does say also that she thinks Ben's going to be very upset by the interview. She says, quote, I know he's humiliated by what's gone on. Certainly, I know he'd be sitting in there thinking he's probably hating me to bits, thinking that I've done this to him. But the drugs have destroyed him. They have. That's fair enough. Yeah. Yeah, she says he doesn't realize how unwell he is and he needs to change, which is fair.

Now, in 2015, she was charged and pleaded guilty to possessing drug paraphernalia with a prohibited drug or plant in it. Basically, she refused to answer questions about that. She said, quote, those charges have been set aside. And then she said, that part of my life is behind me now. I'd rather not talk about it. She claimed she was trying to hide his shit, is basically what she said, which might be true, honestly. July 29, 2017, Brian Cousins, his dad,

is hopeful that his son wants to turn his life around when he gets out on parole. He said, quote, I'm probably as hopeful as I can be that he's taking seriously about or talking seriously about how he can conduct his life when he gets out and try to make a change in his life. There's still to be done. So, yeah, he's trying to do that. He said, I'm not for one minute convinced that this will happen, but he's just doing some good things and has said some good things. Not for one minute. Yeah. No. That he wants's just doing some good things and has said some good things. Not for one minute. Yeah, no, that he wants structure in his life. He's got two beautiful kids.

They haven't, to this stage, been enough for him. I'm just hoping that there will be good news ahead, but we have a long way to go. Ben Cousins, August 10, 2017, will not be eligible for release from prison at the end of the month, like he should have been because he failed a drug test in prison. He got in prison got drugs in prison who castered him in he was probably him he was eligible for parole at the end of the month and he couldn't fucking couldn't just muster that man couldn't muster that uh it's it was a drug-free prison so they do drug tests on all the prisoners he failed it uh the the lawyer says, quote, I can confirm that Mr. Cousins' parole application has been delayed, awaiting him to complete further rehabilitation courses, which are now only becoming available

to him. Basically, he's happy to go to rehab. Well, he should stop fucking smoking meth in jail. That would help a lot. He does say that they insinuate for a minute that maybe Cousins is involved in smuggling the drugs in, because how else do you access them? And the lawyer says that's absurd and unsubstantiated. I happen to agree with that, I'm sure.

He just got it from some guard that smuggled it in like every other prison. Somehow he blew somebody for it. Absolutely. September 20th, 2017, he comes into court. He has a big beard and shoulder-length hair now. Oh, no. This is for the car crash that he was in with that truck. The judge tells him, the magistrate says,

he's lucky to have not killed or seriously injured someone because he smashed head on into a truck while high on meth. High on meth, head on into a truck. That is fucking terrible here. He's fined $1,200, ordered to pay $2,295 in chemical analysis fees, and had his driver's license suspended for 12 more months. Jesus. What a fucking mess.

He's in the cycle, man. He's in the cycle. His lawyer said that he may be forced to serve his full sentence because the programs had been delayed for rehab. The magistrate asked Ben, you're not getting out by then? Because this is a magistrate for another case. And Ben just shook his head and said, no, unfortunately. He's stuck in there. Yeah. The lawyer said that he's taken and embraced a job offer from his

old employee, from an old employer, but wouldn't elaborate on it, which is the fencing thing. The failed drug test came two weeks before he was eligible to get out. Unbelievable. Two weeks. Good guy. You could have done all you wanted when he got out. He's just going back to that whole, like, once this stretches over, I can just fucking binge. And that's what he did right there. Absolutely. Annihilated.

Annihilated. His lawyer said that, quote, despite the incident at the time that he is, quote, drug-free and in positive spirits, never stops. Can't get enough of this drug-free positive-spirited guy? You can go to www.panmcmillan.com and get Ben Cousins' My Life Story, the book, for $35.99. Fuck that. There's also on Facebook

a We Still Love You Ben Cousins Facebook page. 12,687 likes on that puppy. Wow! A lot of people still love Ben Cousins. Also on eBay, a signed white Puma sneaker cleat. Yeah. A Puma cleat, game worn, full autograph, $499 plus 60 shipping.

That's a lot of math. Ace, that's a lot of math. He's going to annihilate himself on that. Finally, a signed 2007 Australian football card is signed by him. One hundred and forty nine dollars and ninety five cents. His autographs. There's not a cheap one out there. Expensive as fuck. I don't know if he doesn't sign a lot anymore. If he just said, fuck this, I'm not signing anything. Nobody probably is looking for him. Nobody recognizes him. I don't know what it is, but that was a crazy goddamn story. He'd have to walk around saying,

I'm Ben Cousins. Does anybody want my autograph? I'm Ben Cousins? Yeah. That's a crazy goddamn story. That was a story where I was like, blah, blah, blah. That's a lot of fucking crime.

I looked at him about a year ago, and I was like, this is good. This is going to be a good story someday. And then I look back at him recently, and I'm like, holy shit, he's blossoming. He's blossoming. He's blossoming. He really has come into his own. This is great, man.

So if you like that story, the thing you can do is get on iTunes and you can give us five stars. That would be so appreciated there. Also, if you loved it even more than that, you can go over to Patreon.com slash Crime and Sports. You can make a donation or go over to PayPal using our email address, CrimeandSports at gmail gmail.com speaking of ways to get a hold of us you can do it at that email address or instagram crime and sports at crime and sports twitter at crime and sports facebook.com slash crime and sports let us look at right now jimmy has a list of the most goddamn heroic wonderful people that i just love and i wish i could hug every goddamn one of you jimmy hit us with that list well that's kind of the plan with live shows is to get out and see these people and meet

them and actually hug them and tell them thanks. So come to the show in Chicago, February. No, it's December. December 14th. December 14th. Lincoln Hall. Get your tickets at lh-st.com. That's the one.

Real quickly, Cat Power had a birthday, or is having a birthday. Happy birthday, Cat. Also, the Sap House Meadery sent us a bunch of mead, and it's fucking delicious. That was cool. Thanks, guys. They didn't even ask for plugs or to talk about them. Yeah, we'll talk about that. And you're nice to us? Yeah, yeah. We'll talk about that. Try that stuff. Thank you.

Sap House Meadery dot com. Mike Juden pointed out that Clifford Ateon and Mike Nunn both fought Carl Craven and Carl Craven lost to both. Kenny Craven. That's it. Yeah. That was hilarious.

I love Carl. Jesus. Anyway, Mike knows that because he listens to every show at least three times. I love you, Mike. He's a sad fuck. Thank you. You're not a sad fucker. Thanks, Mike.

God damn it. Appreciate you, brother. Love you, Mike. Is a sad fuck, is what he says. You're not a sad fucker. He's awesome. Thanks, Mike. God damn it. Appreciate you, brother.

Susan Banks, Ashley Stevens, Kokuganza Akijajigi. There you go. That's the one. You got that. Kokuganza, thank you very much. I did my best, and I'm sure that was completely wrong. You tried, Jimmy. That's all they wanted to do.

Listen, they did it on purpose, so they got what they deserved. They got exactly what they deserved. Tiffany Daniels, Laura Buchanan, Dana Grayson sent money again. Thank you, Dana. Dana, I appreciate you, brother. It's fucking fascinating when women,

black men, and men of the cloth like us. Yeah, priests and... Yeah, that's the fucking hat trick of people that make me feel really good

that they approve of my horseshit. You don't usually get those three groups liking the same thing. At the same time. Right, right. That's the point. So we appreciate that. So Robert Dye, thanks for the emails. Yeah, he's a Catholic priest from Oklahoma. Thank you.

Thank you. I don't know if we wanted to say that much specific about him. I was just going to say man of the cloth, but Catholic priest from fucking Oklahoma. He knows who he is. Yeah, he knows. Is it Robert Dye from Oklahoma? Thanks for listening, Robert. Thank you, Robert. We appreciate it. Corey Patterson, Matilda.

Matilda. It's got to be Matilda. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Matilda, thank you. John Jones.

No, Joe Jones. That's the one. Chris Asgaraga. Asgaraga. Asgaraga, right? It's got to. It's got to. That's it.

Damn. Asgaraga. Yeah. Scott Henderson. Mary Foose. She donates so frequently. Thank you, Mary. I appreciate it.

God damn it. Thank you. Jared Ferguson, Ingrid Stokke from Norway. Thank you very much for sending your North Korea cash. Yes. Casey Tillery, Devin Rhea or Devin Ray. It's probably Ray. Ray.

Ray sounds cool. Devin Ray. If it's not Ray, pronounce it Ray because it sounds better. It's a better name. It really is. Sounds cool. Sherry Holland, Diana McCann, Jess Landgren, and Christiane Castaldi again. Oh, you guys are the best. Thank you. The two of you, thank you. And Jess loves footy too. She loves this shit. Oh, does she? Oh, she'll hate us after we've destroyed it.

I think we figured it out okay. We did our best, Jess. We tried. Yeah, we tried. Okay, I put a couple things together. You know that looks like Don Fannucci. That's not my fault. a couple things together. You know that looks like Don Fannucci. That's not my fault. Sorry. Thanks, Jess. Love you.

Thank you. Michelle Siba. John Cicciarelli. No, Cicciarelli. Cicciarelli, yeah. Cicci. That's ridiculous. That's a Spanish boobie.

That's great. Rena Taylor. Claire Natola. James Hall. Sabrina Evers. Holly Lissner. MCR Camperman. That's an interesting first name.

I don't know. Anthony Arredondo. Rebecca Gammon. Christiane Castaldi, I said. She's going to come to the Boston shows, by the way. Yes, cool. Siobhan McClatchy. No.

Yes, McClatchy. And Siobhan Dugan also. There's two Siobhans. Thank you both. I like those Irish ladies liking us. Thank you. Lisa White, Sue Brie, Nikki. Thank you both. Like those Irish ladies liking us. Thank you. Lisa White, Sue Brie, Nikki. No, Nikki.

No, it's Nikki, you fucking idiot. Nikki? Nikki Thatcher. Nikki. Is there two Ks in there? Yes. Oh, Jesus Christ. I can't reach you to kick in the nuts for that one. That is fucking off the beat.

If it was N-I-K-I, I'd give you Nikki. Siobhan has a B. I'm doing my best to do ethnic names. I love it, man. That's a big one. Niki. Niki Thatcher. Wow.

Katie Finn. Tim Ball, who I believe is Sausage over there on Snapchat. Brett Hinckley. Justin Rogers. Thomas Guitar. Michelle Turner. Juna Leasty. I think I nailed it.

Senga Robertson. Albertine. Alberton, Albertine. Albertine. Albertine. Yeah. There's a Y and an N together. It's weird. She upped her pledge.

Thank you, Senga. Thank you. Joe Hartwell, Dita Vasquez, Helen Collinshaw, and then Jane Greaser. Greg, who sent the email about Nunu Kids. That was awesome. Who lived down the street from mine. Oh, yes, I read that. That is fantastic.

Fantastic. And the movie Bebe's Kids had just come out when they were around that time, around that age. And they called that whole family Nona's Kids. They would break the garage door. They had broken down cars. They're white trash, like Dexter Manley said.

Just bananas family. You do not have to be white to be white trash. And Michael Nunn proved that last week. Sweet Pete, was he white trash. I just see an El Camino engine hanging from a tree at some point in that guy's future. His family. You do not have to be white to be white trash. And Michael Nunn proved that last week. Sweet Pete, was he white trash. Wow, are they. I just see an El Camino engine hanging from a tree at some point in that guy's future. Jeff Cutshaw, Amanda Renee Harris, Christine Quatro, Laura Crosby, Alex Marchi. Yeah, that's Marchi.

Yeah, definitely. No. Kenneth R. Garrity does writings from the gray. I don't know what that is, but Google it and give that person business if it's a business. Definitely. L. Camille Anderson, Jared Ferguson, Paul Boyd, Savannah Showalter, Madison Dougherty, Stephen Hugley, Siren Camilla. Shandell Whitney has service members in South Korea. Oh, cool.

South Korea. Definitely South Korea. Yes, they're definitely not in North Korea. And it's her daughter and her daughter's wife who are fantastic people that listen to these shows also. So thank you. Thanks for everything. Shandell Whitney's children.

Awesome. Stephanie and Eric. There's no last names, so thank you. Fine. Silver hair, middle-aged, tuxedo mask donated to cash. So thank you. Thank you. Great, thank you. Nicole Cleveland and Joe George.

Devin Reznikoff. Nicole Aldrete or Aldrette. Monica Ortiz. Sharifa Alexa. No, Sharifa Alexis Afreya. Hey, fucking, you're shitting me. Sharifa Alexis. I think it's Mahmoud Abdul-Raouf is what you're going for.

Right, that's exactly that name. Denver Nuggets player from the 90s. Cass is what you're going for. Right, that's exactly that name. The Nuggets player from the 90s. Cassius Clay is who she is. Yes, that's right. Steve White, Casey Paquette, Jacob Adams, Alyssa Wells, Adam McWaters, Ginny Burnt, Sarah, Yeah, whichever. Adam McWaters, Ginny Burnt, Sarah, Holly – Ginny didn't burn Sarah. That sounded like – Yeah, I was going to say Ginny Burnt Sarah.

Ginny Burnt and Sarah. Okay. Holly Gaston, Becky DH, William Hatchet, Liam Toner, Wade Brandner, Jay Nathan Couch, Stephen Havens, and Mariki Bergman. Wow, guys. Thank you, guys. This was a fucking amazing week, and you guys make it all worth it. So thanks for participating.

Thank you for supporting us. Thank you for listening. Thank you for telling people about us. If it wasn't for you guys, there'd be no reason for us to do this except for our own entertainment. So thank you guys so much for everything. So come see us in Chicago. Come see us in Detroit. And come see us in fucking Boston.

Let's have some fun. What if in between those shows and all of this, they might want to get a hold of a person like you? If you want to find me and tell me that you're coming, find me at whismansucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N sucks on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. Follow along, play along. Let me know where you're at. Let me know what you're doing. We can't wait

to meet you guys. Not at all. And I'm at JimmyPIsFunny. Follow me there or try to spell my last name. There's a P in there. It's a little funky, so good luck. But yeah, guys, we can't wait to meet you guys. Come out to the shows. We're going to hang out with everybody and meet everybody. I mean, not that that's a draw to come, but it'll be a really funny show.

Let's drink beers. And then afterwards, we'll say hi if you care to say hi to us. We're not going to force you to talk to us. And then point us to where your best seafood restaurant is. We'll stand in a corner and you guys can wander over if you want. And if not, we'll just sit there sadly and then we'll go home and we'll fly home to Phoenix. But we will eat seafood first. Absolutely. Please come out, though, to these live shows. It's good stuff. And that said,

guys, it's been a blast. It's been a crazy one all the way to Australia and back live from the Crime and Sports Studios. We will see you next week. Bye! Bye. listen early and add free with Wondery plus an Apple podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from Smartless Media.

Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'll learn that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink rollercoaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively shout,

how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.