Crime in Sports - #94 - How Many Stabs Does It Take... - The Appallingness of Terry Underwood

Episode Date: November 21, 2017

This week, we look at a guy that took such an intense wrong turn, that it boggles the mind. He started off as the model citizen. He did the right things. He said the right things. But when things went off the rails, they went as far off the rails as we've ever seen. The shocking brutality of his final crime is so heartless, and full of rage, that it's incredible he didn't snap sooner. Why did he do it? Mental illness? Brain damage? A diabolical plan? Or is he innocent? Either way, he's an idiot, and we have a great time pointing it out!! Also, he's not innocent.Follow the rules, always do the right thing, and then commit one of the most heartless slaughters imaginable with Terry Underwood!!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at...patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.com Contact us:twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/smalltownmurder  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Strange, Dark, and Mysterious Stories on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Before we get to the show, just want to remind you guys about some exciting things. Live shows. Live shows. Live shows. Chicago, Illinois, December 14th at Lincoln Hall.

Get your tickets at lh-st.com. Dot com. Dot com. Please do that. Come out and see us there. It's going to be so much fun. Both shows, Small Town Murder and Crime and Sports. Yes.

Come see one or both of them. Yeah. It's going to be so much fun. Also, Boston at Laugh Boston, February the 18th. Again, small town murder and crime and sports. Both shows, one night. Laugh Boston. Get your tickets at laughboston.com.

And then a special stand-up show. So good. The two of us, the Jimmys, James and Jimmy, and Dan Cummins as the headliner. Dan Cummins! In Detroit. Detroit, Michigan. February the 16th. That is a stand-up show. Get your tickets now, and if that

show sells fast, guess what, guys? We're going to add a late show, and it's going to be a special kind of a podcast with the three of us on it. It's going to be amazing. Guys, get your tickets for one or all. Travel around the country. We don't care. Treat us like the Grateful Dead. Come see us, guys. Please. Now let's get this show going.

Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports. Bullseye. Yeah. Indeed, Jimmy. My name is James Petragallo. I'm here with my co-host. I'm Jimmy Westman. Thank you, folks, so much for joining us this week. Holy shit.

God, we're excited as usual. Super jacked up for Crime and Sports, as we always are. This is our let loose and have some fun podcast of the week. We get to let our hair down a little and have a good time. Guys, we have exciting news for you. We have stuff. Yes. All sorts of stuff.

Buy our stuff. All sorts of stuff to buy. You've asked for shirts. We have shirts, mugs, sweatshirts, hoodies, throw pillows, blankets, shower curtains, literally onesies that say shut up and give me murder on them we have that for babies do we really absolutely have that i believe we have a onesie that says you sir may fuck off that's awesome pretty sure we have that but we have all that stuff all the quotes you like everything the logo anything you could possibly

want crime and sports or small town murder, you can get right now over at CrimeInSports.Threadless.com. That is threadless like no threads. Like in a shirt, but these shirts have threads. We promise. CrimeInSports.Threadless.com. That's the one. Go there. Check it out.

Tons of stuff. Enjoy that. Also, like you've heard at the top of the show, live shows December 14th, Chicago, Lincoln Hall. Get your tickets now. We're really excited for that. That is going to be- LH-ST.com.

Thank you. That's going to be such a fun night. We're going to have a blast with that, with both shows. We cannot wait. We have a lot to get to this week. But before we get to that, I do want to thank everyone for their iTunes reviews this week because we had a flood of them this week. You guys are really coming through

hard for us. Thank you so much for that. Like we've said so many times, the reviews are the lifeblood of a podcast. For whatever reason it is, those iTunes reviews weigh... It's a funky algorithm. That's what it is. That's what it is, Jimmy. A funky algorithm. They weigh heavily on the charts

for some odd reason. I just picture an algorithm dancing to some funky beat. Funky, yeah. Get down like some 70s shit. Some great bass line. Yes. So, yeah, the funky algorithm. Please get on that because that helps us out business-wise. It drives us up the charts, and that's really how you get noticed,

and that's how podcasts get more successful basically and do better is by that. So thank you guys for that. Also, if you want to do a little more like a fine list of amazing producers that we have later that have helped us out that we can't thank enough, you can do that over at Patreon.com slash Crime in Sports. You can make a donation there or you can make a one-time donation at paypal using our email address crime in sports at gmail.com that's the one you send the money there and we get it so that's how that works and uh god we can't tell you how thankful we are for every dime that you guys sent or ascend and planning to send and have sent in the past it honestly it's everything it really means the world to us so thank you guys so much. It's the coal, like we've said.

There's a train and there's no fire without the coal. And you guys put a big pile of coal there for us that we can then shovel into the fire. Dan, it's the shirt off your back. That's what people have given us. Thank you, guys. I'm shocked by it. It's amazing. And if you do give us the shirt off your back, first of all, thank you so much.

And second of all, you're going to need another shirt. So you can do that by going to crimeinsports.threadless.com and picking up some Crime In Sports or Small Town Murder merch today. Jesus. That was great. I'm getting smooth with this shit, man, on my segues. That is not bad at all. We have a crazy-ass story this week. Yeah, the last couple stories.

The Marcus Bullard one was wild last week. Yeesh. There's another one like you don't even know about. You know about some of the people. You hear about Riddick Bowe a little bit. You didn't know he was a criminal so much,

but you knew he was kind of a jerk-off or whatever. But the ones like last week are under the surface. It's ridiculous. Ben Cousins is big in Australia. Everyone in Australia knows who that is.

But in the States, I don't think anyone knew who the hell we were talking about at all. They know him now, intimately. But we've had, the last two episodes have been just crazy. A lot of like, oh my God. They know him now, intimately. But we've had, the last two episodes have been just crazy, a lot of like, oh my God.

They know him intimately. Intimately. Like meth knows his ass. In his asshole intimately. Yeah, they've had him bend over, look at the back of his nutsack and pull the tissue full of meth out of his ass. I'd say that's knowing someone. I'd say you're acquainted at that point.

If that was a first date, you know that guy. You're acquainted, I would say. I know him. Yes, I absolutely know Frank. I've seen the back of his nutsack. Oh, yeah, yeah, Ben. I know Ben. Yeah, I can pick his ball bag out of a lineup from the back.

So, yeah, I know what to do. Unbelievable. I've seen the seam on his ball bag. I've seen his asthma. I've held it in my hand. So that tells you something about that right there. So those were like crazy like that, but they were like, you know, meth, and then he did this. Nothing we can get angry about really with.

We're like, it's like, hey, you know, he's a jerk off. He's hurting himself. It's hard to blame the guy. What an idiot. You're more mad at him for like screwing it up. Right. You're like, God, we all wish we had that. Having a taste of success and then just blowing it.

Having what everyone wishes they had and then just going, nah. Fuck it. I don't think so. I'd rather not. I think I'd rather shove meth up my ass or steal a car or, you know, pistol whip a fraternity member while I'm eating crawfish or some crazy shit like that. This week, a little bit different. This week we have a, this is a, by all accounts, was a really good guy and some shit happened.

And we don't know what it is, but something real bad happened at some point. And this is one of the worst things we've dealt with so far. So buckle the shit up because this is crazy, this episode. Let's do this. Let's meet our fellow of the week, shall we? Let's meet Terry A. Underwood. You know who Terry Underwood is? He sounds like a boxer.

He's not a boxer. No, he's not a boxer. He is a football player, actually, Terry Underwood. He is born in 1966 in New Jersey. He's a New Jersey guy, kind of born and bred and always just a huge New Jersey, New Jersey, New Jersey. I'm picturing a big, white, bald

guy. No, actually. This is the exact opposite of that. A big black guy, a little black guy with tons of hair? This is a smaller muscled black guy, is what this is. Yes, he's a running back. He's a little guy, too. He's a yes this is a he's a running back all right he's a little guy too he's a five foot eight little tiny running backs i mean it's very undersized running back five foot eight 180 190 pounds at his peak so we're talking a tiny guy a little dave megget

type all right kind of like episode 31 i believe the origin of the shawarma man as a matter of fact uh dave megget who was a horrible, horrible rapist. Absolutely great punt return. Yeah. Terrible rapist. Just absolutely brutal. He was the one that slammed the door, the girl's hand in the door. Yeah. After raping her.

And that was one of six different. Monster. He's a monster. The name of the episode is the Teflon Monster. Yeah. As a matter of fact. So the miniature Teflon Monster is the name of that episode. And he fits that shit to a T.

And this guy here, you would never know it starts out like Dave Meggett. He was very personable. Good guy. Starts out playing football. Thought to be a good guy. Starts out playing football very young, at age seven, it seems like here. He was playing. They talked to him later on, and he said when he was a little kid,

seven, eight, he was playing nose guard. He was a nose tackle, like defensive line, which you wouldn't, you know, a guy who's 5'8", 8'9", he wouldn't be playing the defensive line. Unless he was 5'8", out of the womb. Yeah, unless it was a 5'10", an under league or some shit like that. It would be, you know, some shit like that. But when, you know, when you're a kid, everybody's kind of the same size, sort of. And in the basic, there's maybe one or two fat kids and you stick them on the line.

But everybody else is pretty much the same. Generally the same height, right. Same height, same strength. There's not one kid who's twice as strong as everybody else. It's rare. One kid on HGH just going around seven years old, forearming people. Jacking up kids. This is Jersey, though.

You never know. There's some terrible things over there. Oh, God, the guidos. Jeez, I can smell the Paco Rabanne from here, you son of a bitches. And I can say anything I want about this shit. Well, you know what? The Jersey people get mad at me because I'm from New York and they get mad that we look down on them. But we do because your state is a swampy shithole dump.

And that's why this kid could have been fucking huge. He could have been 5'8 at that age, but then the chemicals... Chemicals, the toxic waste, the smell... Stunts the growth. The general sadness of New Jersey just settles in. Just ruins it. Oh, it's terrible, yes.

I realize there are some people who are going to say, there's some nice places in New Jersey. I'm sure there are. There are some really nice towns in New Jersey. They're very small areas. And they're few and far between. And the rest of it is either a toxic waste center, a garbage dump, or a mafia burial ground. Those are what you have.

That is your town. That's your state, guys. Enjoy. The only thing I know about Jersey I learned from It's Always Sunny. So, fuck your place. From It's Always Sunny? Oh, because it's next to New York. No, when they go visit.

Oh, in Atlantic City. Oh, Atlantic City's the fucking taint of the whole place. It's terrible. Oh, Atlantic City's a dump. Needles on the beaches, and that's where rum ham came from. Exactly. You can walk around and just waft to your face and go, what is that? I smell urine, toxic waste.

And rum ham. That's going to be prostitute urine is what that's going to be, actually. I'm sorry. Let me really get specific with that. Yeah. Terrible place, Atlantic City. Oh, and the stench of the elderly. Right.

That's what that is. That's the stench of your grandmother, who's 92 years old and here to gamble. Kitty litter and mothballs. Oh, terrible. So, yeah, he played here. So chalky. So chalky. He has a memory of football as a child.

He said, did you play nose tackle when you were a kid? And he said, quote, sure. I was seven or eight. All my peers played Pop Warner, so I did too. I didn't care what I played then as long as I played. So as a kid, he found football a lot of fun, and he just wanted to go out and play football. Didn't care what he did, just a good time. And he's a team player, too, over the course of his career in football.

He's a real team guy. He doesn't complain. He says the right things in interviews. He's the type of guy that when you ask him, hey, you had a great game. Holy cow, you did amazing. How'd you do that? He would say, well, my teammates really carried me today, and it's my offensive line is the real stars of this team and as long as we get a win you know that's that's his that's him whether it's programmed or real either way he's smart enough to know what to say when to

say it and not be a fucking idiot and go yeah i'm the best on the team uh clearly these guys wouldn't be shit without me uh but yeah you know yeah your quarterback sucks a dick coach you know that right yeah yeah timmy i'm talking to you suck you know you fuck dude dude you totally suck you completed one pass today i think you might be left-handed today it was yeah have you checked you might want to try the other side kicking it at the guy next time i think you'd be more accurate because you are fucking terrible uh yeah it's that sort of thing here he's not like that uh the thing is and this is kind of the story of this guy's life in in his and his career, is it can be summed up here. He's 5'8", 180.

So if you're 5'8", 180. I'm familiar. You're familiar with this. But 5'8 is wishful thinking for you. Don't lie to me. So you're 5'8", 180, and you want to be a football player. No, I don't. No.

5'8", 180, and you want to be a football player. No, I don't. No. You have to be excessively, extremely athletically gifted to be 5'8 and make it as a football player. And fearless. And fearless and tough as fucking nails. Like, Dave Meggett was like this size. He was 5'7 and a half, 180, 185 pounds. He was so quick, so athletic, so agile.

When you watch him on film in his early career, the things he does don't look real. Right. You're like, how the fuck did he just bounce like that? He was like made of rubber. He was so agile. If you're not that. Yeah. Or Darren Sproles in a modern day.

You're not going to make it. You're not going to make it. First of all, they won't let you play. Second of all, if they do, you will get killed because you can't get out of the way of giant men. They're going to hurt you. And not just them grabbing you and slinging you to the ground. These are fucking 300, 350-pound men that are going to lay on you. Yeah, they'll fall on you and hurt you.

Yeah, you're a little guy like that. You need to be able to avoid tackles and get away from things like that. He is fast, but he's fast not at the elite level. He runs a 4.540, which is screaming fast. I mean, Jesus Christ. If me or you ran a 4.540, if you went outside right now and I watched you run a 4.540, I'd go, holy shit, you're fast. Jimmy, what the fuck, man?

What are you recording these for? Dude, what are you doing? This is amazing. What were you like when you were 20? You have been a fucking god jesus christ i'd be blown away right holy shit but if you're 4540 and you're a 5 foot 880 pound running back that's not so great as a running back a 4540 is fine but you better be able to break a couple tackles you better be a 220 pound guy you know your upper body better be strong to shake them off tackles. You better be a 220-pound guy. Your upper body better be strong to shake him off.

Emmitt Smith ran a 4.540, and they called him slow. Really? You know what I mean? Like I said, he didn't have breakaway speed. He ran a 4.540, but he was bigger, too. He wasn't much bigger than this, but he was not a tiny guy. He had a little more. He was a fucking brick. He was another kid.

He just never got hit. He knew how to slip out of every tackle. He was such a slippery son of a bitch. So smooth. I fucking hated him so much in the 90s. Oh, he'd be slipping. I'm just like, just get him. God damn it.

Break his neck. Break his leg. One of the most glorious moments of my life, and this shows what an asshole I was as a kid. But I guess it's my father's fault, too, because he was cheering louder than me, was the 1990 NFC Championship game with the Giants against the 49ers when Joe Montana, who for years I just wanted to see be broken in seven pieces because he's just so slippery and finessed and dropping his little – oh, I hated him so much. And he's standing there, and it's the playoff game,

and it's the championship game to go to the Super Bowl. And LT, Lawrence Taylor, who we'll do as a – I know we have to do him as an episode. I get it, OK? I love Lawrence Taylor. I don't care who he kills. If he kills five people tomorrow, I'm still going to say he's the greatest, most athletically gifted and amazing defensive player in history. It has no bearing on how fantastic he was at his position. And I love him, too.

That's the other thing. He can kill five people. I still love him as a. That's the other thing. He can kill five people. I still love him as a person. You still have sex with all those underage girls. I don't care. Don't care. Knock yourself out. And he didn't have sex with her.

They were willing. He did not have sex with that girl, either. Even she said it. He just paid her. Even she said it. He did. Because he found out she was too young. He's got some fucking class.

He did. We. Because he found out she was too young. He's got some fucking class. He did. We'll get to it. He did get a pimp to get him a prostitute to go out there and look young. But then he went, hey, you're a little too young for me. So anyway. Here's 200. Get out of here. Lawrence Taylor comes up and tries to hit Joe Montana.

And he does the, I swear to God, it was just the most little-footed move. He just kind of stops and puts his little hands up like, oh, you can pass by, sir. It was just the daintiest little move he did as Lawrence Taylor ran by. And I went, fucking son of a bitch. And then half a second later, 300-pound Leonard Marshall barrels into frame with Joe Montana having no clue he's there and just patting the ball looking all finesse and just getting blasted in the back ball flying out

him in the ground chunks of dirt in his hair basically broke him in seven pieces is what he did he destroyed him he was out for two years and I cheered louder than any time ever I said you son of a bitch. I'm like 11 years old, and I'm screaming at this poor, downed, injured man.

And my father's right next to me encouraging this behavior, which isn't helping or anything. He's saying, yeah, take that, you son of a bitch. I don't know how many beers he was in the evening. That's the equivalent of watching an asshole run across the road and dodge a car and then get hit by a bus. Yeah, that's what it was. It was exactly what it was. And you rooted for it. You said, yeah, get him.

You see a guy running out of a bank holding a bunch of cash, and now your bank account's empty, and he sidesteps a Volkswagen and then steps in front of a bus. And dollar bills fly everywhere. It rains money for the next 10 minutes. Can we see that in an instant replay, Joe? Oh, I watched that replay so many times. If you show it to me now, I will smile. I'll be so happy.

You have no idea. Just show me that highlight. So anyway, this guy, he's not that, but he's, for like a high school level and like, as we'll talk about, a lower level college level, he's off the charts. Because that's great for there, but that's just not Division I or NFL. So he goes to Matawan High, home of the Huskies. So go Huskies, Matawan. New Jersey, right?

New Jersey. He meets his, will become his future wife later. What? These guys with their high school girlfriends. Meeting their high school girlfriends. Stop it. And then there's trouble later. Yeah.

Shocking. Surprise. Surprise. You get divorced at some point. You've searched out. Does that surprise you? You took a pick out of a thousand women and that's your choice. That's it.

Right. And you're going to stick with that for the rest of your life? That's it. I don't understand. Just, you're not going to be the same person when you're 35 as you are when you're 17. You're not going to be the same person when you're 21. No, especially when, yeah, this is not going to work out. It's ridiculous.

Sometimes it does. Don't get me wrong. We're going to get tweets. My parents have been married 47 years. I'm sure that's great. They didn't have the internet. It works fine, but it's usually a bad idea. Right.

Usually a fucking bad idea here. But yeah, so we're early 80s in New Jersey. Yeah. He meets a nice sweetheart here. They're going to the shore. He's putting Paco Rabanne all over him. It's going to be disgusting. He's going to win her.

It's a big giraffe or some horse shit in one of those boardwalk games. Awful. After spending $95, he's going to get a $12 bear. Yay. And then get a fucking- This was worth it. And get a sandy hand job under the board walk yay high school woohoo go huskies go huskies crime and sports home of the sandy hand job

that's right so uh he meets Teresa yeah at this point like we said it's his future wife uh he's playing football obviously he's right in it. But he's not like our guy last week who was playing basketball, doing well, met a girl. He has no kids in high school. Good. No high school children. And he has no crack intent to sell crack to undercover officer charges while still in high school, which is terrific for him. I found articles.

Good God, this was a tough one, too. This was a hard one to find shit on. It really, really was. There's some court documents that helped a lot later, but all the in-between stuff that I had. Jesus, this was a digging right here. I'm like Bugs Bunny when he'd pop up, and I think I took the wrong way. Into Albuquerque? On the way to Albuquerque here, like I was doing that, popping out of the sand.

Where the fuck am I? Didn't he say that? I think I took a wrong turn in Albuquerque. I think that's what he said. On the way to Albuquerque, I think it was. Or at Albuquerque. One of the two. He was aiming for Pismo Beach.

That's right. And he wound up somewhere shitty. Yes, and he wound up somewhere in the middle of the desert, usually, in the Sahara somewhere. So I found these articles. Jesus, I found one here. I found these articles. Jesus, I found one here. September 29th, 1984 from a football game of Matawan High versus Freehold Township where Terry has 241 yards in a game.

Holy shit. So that is goddamn good. I can't even wrap my head around that. And that's nothing. In four quarters, this guy got 60. That's 60 yards a quarter. Wait till you hear more. And these are usually in like 12 carries too. Jesus. 13 carries like October 20th, 1984.

That same season, three weeks later. Matawan Huskies versus the Brick Memorial Mustangs here. Very exciting. Matawan wins this game 36 to 7. Fuck. Crushes the Brick Memorial Huskies. Terry has 17 carries for 213 yards. And this is the third time in five games that he's had 200 yards or more.

Sweet Pete. So he's just crushing these people. They're crushing him. One of the players on Brick Memorial, this is his quote, which is, no one's ever said this about me. This is amazing. Or you, I i'm sure or most people listening he said quote my god he's just awesome how are we supposed to stop that that's what he said nobody says that about anything my god he's just awesome he's just awesome just no objectively awesome i mean my wife says that about me when

like i'm just she's like, your behavior is awesome. But she means it like in a negative way. You're being incorrigible. Right. Stop being incorrigible. And fucking how am I going to stop this? How am I going to stop this? That's what you say about a runaway bear or like an escaped zoo animal.

How are we going to stop this? My God. He's just the only way anybody says that about me. As a tiger tears through a retirement home, you'd say, my God, he's just awesome. How are we supposed to stop that? He's in an enclosed space just eating old people. That's me. He's got food for – fuel for months in there with these people.

He's going to just keep eating them. So that's what it is. But Terry – and this is a quote from him in the newspaper. He says – this is what I mean how uh he's a he's a team guy he says quote the guys did some good blocking besides it doesn't make any difference how many yards i get as long as we win oh which is exactly what you want the guy to say that's he's no controversy he's looking to go to college i feel like he's he's looking at next level you just nailed it he wasn't like yeah motherfucker thug life bitch yeah fuck you slap the fucking reporter that's right motherfucker make sure all your kids don't grow no that's not jesus that's not what he's doing right uh so he makes the all shore team fucked

your bitch that's right i fucked your mama i got him he's I fucked your mama. I got him. He's not right. He's not quoting Hit Em Up. He's just. No, no, no, no, no. He's. He actually. You're exactly right that he is looking to go to college. Yeah, he's looking to go to college.

He's looking to. He's looking to. He's planting seeds for the future here. Right. He does want to go to college. He makes the all shore team. Oh. Oh, the all shore.

Jersey shore team. Yeah, it was him and eight guidos named Tommy. That was the—I'm sorry, ten because it's a club. There's a Vinnie in there. There's two Vinnies, fucking eight Tommies, and Terry Underwood. That's it. That's the whole team. They all had very terrible hair.

It's awful. A lot of Irox Zs in the parking lot, T-tops. Not great. Z Cavaricci's all around. Yeah. His coach here, after he's done with high school in 1984, his coach, who is Joe Martucci. Oh, boy. He's like, hey, I got Vinny.

I got a few Paulies. I got a bunch of these guys, Tommies and Frankies, and I got this fucking guy here. It's like, I call him my black beauty. That's the way I call him. You know what I mean? I say, get the fuck out of the field. Can I race this? What am I, an asshole?

I love the fucking kid. What are you kidding me? I have him. You know what I mean? I say, get the fuck out of the field. Isn't he racist? What am I, an asshole? I love the fucking kid. What are you kidding me? I have him over my house all the time. I don't let you know. I tell my teenage joy, so you stay the fuck upstairs in your room. You understand me? You understand me? You stay the fuck upstairs.

You don't come down here when he's here. You understand me? You know what I mean? He's got some charm to him. I don't want him to get the wrong idea. You know, it's the neighborhood. That's all it is. He comes, he brings it home. People shout't want him to get the wrong idea. You know, it's a neighborhood. That's all it is. He comes, he brings it home.

People shout, hey, things out the window, Adam. And I'm responsible for it. I don't want that to happen. That's all I'm saying. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. You know how it is. You know what I'm saying.

Yeah, it's what they shout. It's all right. But besides that, he also, besides all those things that Joe Martucci said, he also said, quote, Terry was a tremendous ball player. A tremendous team player. Quote, he never complained when he wasn't carrying the ball and he blocked as hard as he could. And he said it exactly with that accent. He said he blocked as hard as he could. He said, this fucking guy, they had to clean this up for the paper.

You wouldn't fucking believe this guy. You wouldn't fucking believe what he did to him. He got legs like fucking tree trunks. People try to tackle him. He shoves them off of there. I'm like, that's right. You get it, you fucking stallion. He's a black stallion, this fucking kid.

Look at him. I love it. You should see it. Black beauty. He's a black beauty. Between me and you, kid's got 11 inches. I'm just saying. He's a fucking cock.

We call him black beauty not because of his stallion legs. You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. You could knock a goat out if you hit it in the head with this fucking thing. I'm telling you right now. It's ridiculous. It's fucking ridiculous. So that's why I keep telling my daughter to stay upstairs.

That's hilarious. That's exactly how Italians... Yeah, I know these people. Trust me. This is not a drill. You could knock a goat out. This is not a drill. You could knock a goat out. This is not a drill. Nobody would ever think to knock a goat out with a horse cock, by the way.

That's why I said it, because it's fucking ridiculous. When in that character, you have to just say crazy shit. The most ridiculous thing. So, yeah. Mark Tucci. It's so stupid to now go back and tell you about his high school statistics. You could knock a goat out. Unbelievable.

It's his father. Jesus Christ. I can't believe that. So he, Underwood. How hard do you have to hit a goat? Very hard. Goats are tough and stubborn. I think you really got to whack them good.

They hit their heads together to fight. Yeah. So you really got to whack them good. They hit their heads together to fight. So you really got to give them a whack with a horse cock. Not only do you have to do it with force, but there has to be some weight. Over and over. The physics of it. There has to be some weight behind it or else it's not going to matter. What's his, how much, what does he get? Holy shit.

He's got to have at least, I'm going to say 12 to 14 pounds of cock, I would say, to truly knock a goat out. It'd be tough. Oh, shit. He's got to have at least, I'm going to say, 12 to 14 pounds of cock, I would say, to truly knock a goat out. It'd be tough. Oh, Jesus. Then you'd have to have a good hip swing, too. It'd be very difficult to do. Line them up. You guys call him Black Beauty. Yeah, yeah.

Have you seen this thing? Have you seen it? It's a thing of beauty on this black guy. It's fucking beautiful. Oh, I have to quote my grandmother. I said this in Small Town Murders, so sorry for the repeat, even though crime and sports comes out first. But my grandmother, who you've met last week, you know, my Jimmy, my grandmother, that one. My grandmother, one time she asked, she wanted to rent a movie 15 years ago.

Long story short, asked my aunt, would you rent me a romance? My grandmother thinking romance means like, you know, a 1960s movie. Of course. At the end, two people, two middle-aged people kiss on a beach in front of a sunset and swelling music comes up. And she says, that's beautiful with the tear in her eye. That's what she wanted. My aunt instead gets her a porn. She gets her pornography.

What a ridiculous thought. From the back room of the video store, gets her pornography and brings it to her. Now, my grandmother is from another country. She's not savvy at all. She can barely work the VCR at this moment. Fucking ridiculous. You just put it in and then it plays. If it wouldn't play right away, she'd sit there and stare at a blank screen.

She has no idea how to operate this machinery. So she gets the tape and she's like, OK, I watched the movie. That's nice. And, you know, she said so she puts it in. It's a fucking porn. It's a porn. I don't know how long it took her to realize it was a porn, but it's a goddamn porn. And it's not like a Cinemax porn where they're just like they have a scene for four minutes and then you see some humping, some grinding.

You see some asses and some fake boobs and shit like that. No, none of that shit. This is, hey, how you doing? Here's my black beauty. Where's your nearest goat? Because I'm going to knock the fuck out. That's the movie she's watching. Hilarious.

So she watches this movie, doesn't get angry. She has notes. She has notes on this movie. She's like a seasoned comic watching an open mic. That's what it is. She says, Ma, I watched this movie you give. And with the people, very, you know, too dirty, too much, too much. She's, you know, a little much for her when it comes to the pornography.

It's a little too much. She says, but I noticed something. She says, and now my grandmother, like I said, she's from another country. She came here when she was 16. She met my grandmother. She's probably seen probably two to three dicks in her entire life, right? Not very dick savvy, right? She does not see many dicks.

So she had never seen a dick like this particular dick in this movie. Why? And she said, well, I saw the one man, he was a the black man he said and i saw his my his thing yeah he says my his thing well it was different from the ones i've seen so we're like you know bigger and she's like my yes but but different yes the color it was it was shiny like the skin of the seal like the skin of the shiny like we're like like water my yeah that's different shiny water beads on this dick so shut this fucking guy shiny like the skin of the seal on this thing i'm fucking believable so uh yeah shiny like the skin of

the seal this unbelievable his amazing cock glides him as the newspaper article puts it to 1444 yards in the regular season in high school that's probably in nine to ten games yeah and he scores uh 20 touchdowns jesus they had a playoff game and he scored 202 yards uh he ran for 202 yards in that for a win there. Sure. Martucci again, he says he'd know 10 yards ahead what he'd have to do. This fucking guy, he could run inside effectively as a fullback and outside like a fucking gazelle. Let me tell you something. Minus the fucks, that's exactly what he said. Exactly.

Like a gazelle. Yeah. This fucking guy, you should see him like a gazelle. He's just constantly comparing him to animals, I'm sure. He's a fucking animal, this guy. He's got the constitution of a bull. He's a stallion. He's a bull.

He's a... Everything. Oh, my God. Ridiculous. On defense, he also plays safety. What? On defense, because in high school, if you're the most athletic guy, you just play... Well, not even the fastest.

He's probably the fastest in high school. Probably the fastest. Yeah, in this team, yeah. They just put you out as much as they can. You'll do everything. So he's also a safety. He is one of their leading tacklers on defense, which is insane. So he can read what they're going to do and he knows which direction they're going.

Yeah, he's just smart. He's good. He knows football. He's a goddamn good player. For a high school guy, incredible. He says in this article that he is interested in Penn State, Rutgers, UConn, West Virginia, and Boston College. Wow. So there's some football powerhouses in there.

He does not go to any of those. Where does he go? Those are all Division I powerhouses, Penn State. They've won national championships. Boston College with Doug Flutie throwing the ball and all that shit. He instead goes to Wagner. What? Yeah, you never hear of Wagner?

Robert? You don't know Wagner? Robert Wagner has a college? He does, you never hear of Wagner? Robert? You don't know Wagner? Robert Wagner has a college? He does, as a matter of fact. Robert Wagner, at this point when he goes in 85, is a Division III school. Why? Not II, III. Why did he do this? That's where he could go, and it's in

Staten Island, New York. In Division III, there's 206 teams. That's a shitload of teams. It's by far the most of any of the divisions here. He wants to stay at home. Yeah, he wants to stay near there. There's no scholarships, no athletic scholarships. No spring practices.

What? There's no like, you know, like. He's going to pay for this school? Or he can get another. I'm sure they can. A guy like who can really play because this guy can play for Division III. They're going to figure out a way. But there's no scholarships.

There's no like, hey, our football team guy can play for Division III. They're going to figure out a way. But there's no scholarships. There's no, like, hey, our football team does everything for us. They make us money. Football team doesn't make them shit. They don't care about the football team. They talk to the dean and they're like, we're much more interested in our journalism program. That's what we're really proud of. Nobody cares about football here. We don't give a shit.

So it's that sort of thing here. They have the game in 85, the one game that they talk about in an article, had like 4,000 people there in an 8,000-seat stadium. Wow. So a half-full high school stadium. That's where they're playing. It's not terrific. It's a private school. There's only about 2,200 students now, and there was even less back then.

Nowadays, they have actually their Division I. They brought their shit all up to Division I, and they have actually their Division I. They brought their shit all up to Division I and they have scholarships in Division I. And even the football team there is – football team is Division II. Everything else is Division I. But they've come up from Division III. It's a member of the Northeast Conference with such schools like I'm sure that you're a big fan of like Bryant University, Kobe School there. Central Connecticut State. I know that was Kobe School there. Oh, God. Central Connecticut State.

I know that was your dream school. Central Connecticut State. I know that was your dream school. You had posters on the wall. That rejection letter, Jimmy, that was a tough day for you. I framed it. That was tough. It's still waterlogged from all the tears. It's one of those that stings and you're going to use it for later.

You know what I mean? That one fueled my whole life. Fairleigh Dickinson University. Fairleigh Dickinson. Fairleigh Dickinson. Almost Dickinson. Yeah. it for later you know what i mean i was fueled my whole life i fairly dickinson university fairly dickinson fairly dickinson almost dickinson yeah fair and lee like somebody's name leigh gh oh fairly dickinson sounds like a really boring lady who makes good brownies right really good brownies uh long island university who that's i'm sure joe martucci is a graduate i went to long island you let me tell you about Long Island U for a minute.

It's pretty fucking good. L-I-U. It was good for me. I'm from Massapequa. Let me tell you. So there's also Mount St. Mary's University, Quinnipiac University. Quinnipiac? Yeah, Quinnipiac University.

They have a poll that they're always talking about in politics. Robert Morris University. Oh, boy. Oh in politics. Robert Morris University. Oh boy. Oh boy. Robert Morris. Sacred Heart University. St. Francis College and St. Francis University. Oh my god. Two separate schools. How do you keep that shit straight? Two separate fucking schools. It is the Wagner's the seventh smallest college

in the country that participates in Division I athletics. Wow. So it's a very... That's interesting. it's very small they have their football budget this year in 1980 where it's like 87 they're talking about now but we're in 85 i realize that those those schools are not like big powerhouses of any sports of any of any kind but if i told somebody that i went to saint francis university that sounds fucking incredible good yeah it sounds catholic yeah. You've been beaten by another two to get in there.

For four years. That sort of thing. All those schools sound really impressive. There's so many words in them. There's so many words. You guys really have a lot of words. You guys are just a wordy school. That diploma looks good on the wall, I bet, and those fancy letters, that's going to look really good up there. Like I said,

they don't care about their football program. They talk about back then the Seahawks, the Wagner Seahawks. Their annual football budget, including salaries of coaches, is $125,000 back then. That's impressive. That's amazing. That's cheap. The school provost, C. Carly Holland, said, quote, theater, choir, band, and the newspaper are what really round out the campus.

That's where they put their money. They say we don't put our money into football. They say it's a very large part of the equation, but it's a play for fun Division III, basically. That's what they call it. So we think the players should have a good time and then go on. This is great. This is her quote here. And football is also a very large part of the equation. This is still the play for fun division.

So we think the players should have a good time, then go on to something else when they're 22. Maybe become a lawyer or actor or anything. Have a good career and play a little touch football in the park on Sunday. What we do is help the students see the possibility in their lives. What is this, a fucking church rec league? Have fun? Fuck yourself. I'm trying to win. possibility in their lives what is this a fucking church rec league have fun fuck yourself i'm trying to win as dream crushing as that is i feel like every college athlete besides like you know 15 of them should be given that speech hey figure out something else to do and work on that because

you're this isn't gonna last you're gonna be a fucking mess look at marcus bullard yeah episode 93 check him out disaster yeah have a backup barely went to college barely unbelievable if you don't know when crystal pepsi was discontinued what was in al capone's vault or which famous meteorologist is lenny kravitz's second cousin then you haven't spent enough time on wikipedia but that's okay i am here for you i'm darcy card, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole, from Smartless Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'd learn that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink rollercoaster

as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities, and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining W WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. The wait is over. So far, you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Bing! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything.

You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything. I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her alone. OK, so, um.

This is not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes not a so. This is a period. Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him.

Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door. The Emmy Award-winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all-new season. It's streaming. You can say anything.

Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. And now back to the show. But he is smart, this guy though, Terry. He majors in sociology and criminal justice. Great. And he's smart. He cares about his grades. Yeah. He's very conscientious. It's a great degree.

No one has a bad word to say about this guy. He's one of those guys that just criminal justice is a great degree. That's an interesting fucking degree. It's nice. A lot of our listeners have criminal justice backgrounds. I noticed that too. Well, I guess we could understand we're talking about legal cases. It's a great path.

You can do so much cool shit with it. You can. You can. No, that's a good point. But yeah, well, who knows if he did. Let's find out what he did with it. How's that? Let's go.

Let's go on to the 1986 season. October 20th, to be exact here. There's a game against Western Connecticut. God, what would you give to be in the stands of a Wagner versus Western Connecticut game in 1986? Holy shit, does that sound boring. How many left testicles do I have? Well, you're going to need to give them all up because the tickets are hard to come by, baby. Let me tell you.

Terry, this game, absolutely crushing it. He has 354 yards. Holy shit. 354. That's never happened in the NFL, by the way no fuck no it might be adrian peterson now right yeah because it was broke i remember jamal lewis broke it and it's been broken anyway this is 354 yeah he this is 28 yards away from the all-time ncaa record how many yards 28 yards away from the all-time record and we're talking talking NCAA. Like we said, Division III has 206 schools.

And it could be a really good player playing against a bunch of bums. That's 206 guys every week giving it a shot. More than that. That's unbelievable. For years and years and years. And then also that counts Division I, Division II. That's just every running back who's ever played college football, which is fucking millions of them. He's 28 yards away from the record with 10 minutes left in the game.

10 minutes left. Oh my God. He didn't even know he was close to the record. He said he didn't even fucking notice. He goes, I wish someone would have told me that shit. He had no idea. I didn't know I was that close to the record. I didn't even know what it was. So they didn't play him another 10 minutes. No, no, it wasn't even that. He was. That was after 12 carries, by the way. He had 354

yards. What? Do the math on that shit. What the fuck? That's insane basically. He had 354 yards. What? Do the math on that shit. That's insane. He's averaging like 40 yards a carry. It's insane. Holy fuck. For 12. On his 13th carry, he takes off around the side. He's hit from the blind side and tackled, and he's

hurt a little bit. Limps off. Limps off the field. Let's see what he says about this whole thing. He says, in their own words, quote, I had just planted my left knee when someone I didn't see hit me. There was a burning sensation in my leg, but it really didn't feel that bad. Then when I went to the bench and the trainer asked me to do a figure eight, my leg just gave.

Oh, shit. So he's fucked, basically. He's hurt. And especially back then, you couldn't really just clean up knees like you can now. They do amazing thing with arthroscopic shit nowadays. There's people now that literally football players in the NFL that get scoped on a Monday and they're playing on Sunday. It's obscene. 2.96, by the way, Adrian Peterson in a game.

Yeah, there you go. That was that crazy shit. 2.96 is bananas. That was way above the deal. So that's, yeah. But anyway. So two days later, he has to get loose cartilage removed from in there. $2.96 is bananas. That was way above the deal. So that's, yeah. But anyway. So two days later, he has to get loose cartilage removed from in there. They put a cast on his leg.

He said it wasn't that bad. The surgery, he said with some exercise and running, he says he thinks he can be back in time for the playoffs. And he thinks if the team makes the playoffs and their little playoff deal in Division III, then he's going to be ready for it. And the problem is they don't make the playoff, so he's out for the rest of the season. That's a hell of a way to go out, that game, though. That's pretty crazy. So not too shabby, though, 86.

I mean, I would say the school is excited about him. He comes in busting off 300-yard games. Unbelievable. They're going to be like, holy shit, this is something. That's bananas, man. And he didn't, like, blow his whole knee out or rip his Achilles or anything like that. Just needs some cleanup. That's all, to where it would slow him down for next year. It's bananas, man. And he didn't blow his whole knee out or rip his Achilles or anything like that. Just needs some cleanup.

That's all. To where it would slow him down for next year. It was a contact wound. Yeah. He didn't step and pop his ACL or some shit like that. So the 1987 season, man, do they have a good year, the whole team. They have a good year. They start out the season with five wins in a row.

Yeah. They lose one game. The whole season. They go 13-1 that year. 13-1. Wagner. Wagner, yes. They lose Wagner. Now, the teams they played, want to go over a couple of them?

They sound like powerhouses. William Patterson, that's not a football team. If William Patterson and Robert Morris played, that's ridiculous. That's a stupid game right there. Montclair State, there you go. St. John's, which is a basketball school. Picture the St. John's football helmet in a basketball school. Have you ever seen?

Picture the St. John's football helmet in your head. Can't, right? Neither can I. And I'm from New York. I'm guessing red, though. Probably red. Probably solid red. Other than that, I don't know shit. Trenton State. SUNY Buffalo. SUNY is State University of New York. SUNY Buffalo. Hofstra. Hofstra. Now, I had a gym teacher. That's smart kids,

though, isn't it didn't know i don't think so it's in the bronx so i'm gonna say no just out of um so just no so i had a gym teacher in the 10th grade who used to be the strength and conditioning coach for the hofstra football team really during this time wow which is crazy and i would actually try to like track him down and contact him to ask him if he knew this guy, but he was a complete asshole. And I fucking hated him, and he called me Patraglio for a whole entire fucking year. What the fuck? For a whole fucking year he called me that.

He's got it written right in front of his goddamn face. Reading wasn't his strongest. No. He had a big stupid mustache, and he wore those tiny, tiny- The bike shorts. Bike coat shorts. Yeah. And he had calves that were the size of fucking bowling balls and when we he'd

make us i had him first period then he'd make us go outside in the winter and run like a mile on the track oh my god 7 20 in the morning when it was 17 degrees outside and we'd be dying and running in parkas and freezing he would be in bike shorts and a sweater running backwards, lapping us. What are you pussies doing? What the fuck? Insane person. So fuck Hofstra. Anyway, Hofstra is their only loss of the year. Really?

They lose 35-28 to Hofstra, but he has a 363-yard game versus Hofstra. Dear Christ. Terry Underwood. So not for lack of trying on Terry's part. Yeah. That defense just clearly couldn't stop anybody. They just allowed too many points. Yeah, he's doing all he can with that many yards.

For Christ's sake, what more do you want him to do? Throw the ball to, kick it, what, anything? That's ridiculous. Coach the team, sell hot dogs, what the fuck else could he do? Clone himself. Yeah, that would have helped. Play more positions. Yeah.

Later on in the year, they play Western Connecticut State. Jimmymy i'm sorry i'm sorry don't cry uh they play pace uh pace college not where they make salsa no uh rochester fordham emory and henry what college emory and i've never heard of that emory and henry hi two guys i'm henry this is emory emory emory teaches henry that's what it is. That's it. And then you can sit and watch and learn some shit if you really want to. Then they played Dayton that year. 13-1 though. Not too shabby. They're so good that year. He

averages 201 yards a game. My God. Averages 201 a game. That's absurd. That's ridiculous. He was so great that the linemen pasted his photo in the back of their helmets like in the back there with the words quote how does it feel to block for a god that's what they put they called him a god that's how great he was what's that inside inside their inside their

helmet so they would see how does it feel to block for a god what the shit super fucking weird no they did it willingly they did it willingly they thought he was a god that Fuck for a god. What the shit. Super fucking weird. Did he do that or did they do it? No, they did. They did. They did it willingly. They did it willingly. They thought he was a god. That's how great he was. They are so good. They go through all the way to the Division III National Championship game against Dayton

in the Amos Alonzo Stag Bowl. That's the name of it. Stag with two Gs. It's Stag Chili. Probably, yeah. That's the Stag Chili Bowl. That's what's it's stag it's stag chili probably yeah chili yeah that's what that is this is in phoenix alabama what no oh and that's phoenix no ph-e-n-i-x phoenix alabama whoopsie daisy whoopsie you know what they probably don't even pronounce

it like that too it's probably like small town murder it's pahenix don't you know anything you dummy it's like no they just call it phoenix they just call it phoenix uh they had one uh that's unbelievable ridiculous right it's either that or somebody's just stupid and didn't know how to spell phoenix that's what it seems like that's unbelievable that's how you spell it right right i think all right how do you spell phoenix no there's a ph sal come on how we're don't make people think we're stupid down here. People already think our accent's dumb. Now, no, P-H-E-N-I.

Just put it on the post office already. Make the sign and put it up. Bet that's how you fucking spell it. They fucked up for sure. I've been there. That's amazing. They go there for the National Division III National Championship game. Wagner is winners of seven straight games heading into this.

Yeah. So which is amazing here. They end up getting a 19 to nothing first half lead. Holy shit. And then they end up cruising here. They win 19 to three in the end and they win the national championship. Wow. The division three national championship.

We have a quote here from Dayton's coach who lost the game. He said, quote, they were just bigger, faster, and better than we were. Their defense bent, bent, bent, but never broke. Against a defense like that, you're not going to run 15, 16 plays on a drive without making mistakes, and we did. So they fucked up, and we didn't. Also, we've been sitting on the bench for the past four quarters trying to figure out, is that shit misspelled? Does anybody think it? That's wrong, right? That's not how you figure out, is that shit misspelled? Is that? Does anybody think?

That's wrong, right? That's not how you spell Phoenix, right? No, right? Someone knows. Someone here has to know how to spell Phoenix. None of you have a map. None of you have any idea. None of you have just a globe sitting there.

Nobody has a fucking dictionary to learn how to spell Phoenix. Nobody. No. No. No. I was thinking just like a globe in a government building somewhere they'd see a map maybe. I don't expect these people to have it in their homes. Okay, we've made fun of Alabama people enough.

We're fucking around. We love you down there. It's just unbelievable. They don't know how to spell Phoenix. Thank you. Okay. No, they don't. They don't know how to spell Phoenix at all.

So Wagner here, at the end when he's done with Wagner, that's 87. They're done in December, but that's the 87-88 season. So technically, he's done that year. So he holds the record, several school records. I'm sure. For most rushing yards in a career, 5,010. My Christ. Which is absolutely fucking remarkable.

That is the second highest total in Division III history. Wow. 5,010 yards. Behind who? Behind somebody you've never heard of from 45 years ago. Yeah, some Division III guy who. I mean, we're just finding out about this one, so it makes sense. It's true.

You've never heard of this guy. He was amazing. In a season, he set the record for a season, a school record, 1,809 yards, which is great. In a game, he had 363 against Hofstra, which was a big one. And this is not bad. This is for a small school with 1,500 people at the time. And that's not too shabby here. He's only 11 people, one of only 11 people in the history of NCAA, all divisions, to have over 5,000 yards rushing.

Is that right? Only 11 people at the time. I don't know now. There's probably more. But at the time, only 11 people, which is absurd, honestly. November 6th. At the time. I don't know. Now there's probably more. But at the time, only 11 people, which is absurd, honestly. November 6th. But back then, now you kind of have to stick through college for, is it two years?

No, that's the NBA. You can be one and done. Right. One in the NBA. Right. The NFL requires you to be three years removed from high school. Gotcha. You have to be three years out of high school. That can be not in college. You can

just not do anything, but you're not going to get drafted by a team at that point. The idea is to make them do three years in college. That's kind of the idea with it. The idea is to prop up this silver-haired middle-aged white man in college and say, even if these guys are good enough to come make a living, we are going to go... We hope that you make a living.

We're going to go against what the whole entire country is built on and being able to use your abilities and talents to make a living off of that. We're going to go ahead and take that away from them, and we're going to hold them here by some stupid rule so you keep your job longer. Because we feel like that's more fair. If you skip a year after high school and go to college a year late, now you've got two years of college before you go. You have to get fucking 2,500 yards each season or more to break that record. Yeah, that's crazy. No, it's nuts. That's bananas.

And you have to be a four-year starter. That's crazy. A four-year starting running back nowadays is going to be ridiculous. They're going to leave early if they're that good. Otherwise they're going to get hurt. That's the other thing. Limited time for them to make money. We're going to take a year of that away, even if they maybe could do it.

Most of the guys can't, but some could. Some of them could, and it's like, why do they have to stay so you can make more money? Fuck you, college. Because college has got to make their goddamn money. NCAA can eat shit. Seriously, that's real. They're the most thieving group of cocksuckers ever. It's disgusting.

I swear to Christ, somewhere deep dark in whatever the fuck cave they're headquartered in. They're the most thieving group of cocksuckers ever. I swear to Christ, somewhere deep dark and whatever the fuck cave they're headquartered in. I know it's not a cave. I've seen the building on a documentary. I'm sure there's a cave down below. There's some underground shit like the Hawkins Lab and Stranger Things. And it's the same fucking shit. It's horrible.

I hate. No, no. They're drinking like baby's blood. They are. And figuring out how they can extract money from people and fuck people over and everything else. It's like a dark, awful place. They store all the stem cells in the world down there. Yes, and they save them. For them to feast on.

They do, and then they protest against using stem cells on top of that so they can keep them all. But they inject them into their penis so that it works forever. Constantly, so they can knock a goat out with it. That's why they do it. They can fucking clock a goat right in the side of their head. So November 6th, 88, I found a fluff piece. Keep shaking, Michael J. Fox. Yeah, keep doing it.

Tough shit. We've got to get our goat knocking out cocks going. Our goat knocking cocks working. Jesus. So November 6th, 88, I found a fluff piece in the Asbury Park Press, Asbury Park, New Jersey, about Terry wanting to play in the NFL. Okay. So he has NFL aspirations.

The whole deal he talks about, he's going to work hard and he works hard and he knows he's undersized and he knows it's an uphill battle. Yeah. But damn it, he's the most determined son of a bitch in the world. Yeah. If anybody can do what I can, because it's so tough. But never mind all that. What I was really interested in was the sales determined son of a bitch in the world. If anybody can do what I can, because he's so tough. But never mind all that. What I was really interested in was the sales, Jimmy.

The sales, the sales. Oh, my God, the sales. If you are in Asbury Park, New Jersey, and it happens to be November 6, 1988, I implore you. Get yourself over to Radio Shack, guys. Oh, boy. Holy shit. I love Radio Shack. They have an on-screen programmable vcr oh only 288 dollars

on sale from 349.95 what you can get one of those for 40 bucks now if you can find it if it's in a box yeah jesus otherwise you can just find it in a dumpster yeah somebody will give it to you if you get it out of their fucking house for them. Absolutely. Sweet Pete. That's a ridiculous price. It's crazy. If people were like excited, holy shit, it's on sale for under 300. Let's go. Martha, get the kids in the car.

She's a hot piece of ass. Yes, she is. I also found a two inch color LCD TV. Okay. Two inches. Two inches. Only $159.95. My Christ.

Regular is $199.95. You can get this for as low as $15 a month. Wow. Don't want to miss your tiny, minuscule TV payment. They come to repo. It'd be easy to hide, I guess. You can get one for $15 now. Yeah, easy.

When you're done there, though, the sales aren't over, Jimmy, because I was obsessed with this. You head on over to Rand's Camera Stereo Video at 1841 Hooper Avenue in Toms River, New Jersey and you get yourself a Canon SVHS camcorder with that tape right in there with precision autofocus and power zoom lens for only

$999. What the fuck? For that utter piece of shit. For $1400 with tax, you can get a VHS recorder, and then you can play it back on your fucking TV. On your TV and have it look like complete dog shit. On your two-inch TV. Have to adjust the tracking. If you're really savvy, you can do it.

Also, now let's say you're not even into all this home stuff. You're too busy and cooling out on the road all the time. Got you covered, too, Jimmy. We have a a new doesn't say what brand or anything else just new 4600 cellular phone okay i don't know what that is uh maybe there's only one brand back then installed in your car for only 949 dollars also saturday installations available only for car phones so they'll get you in there now out. They know you're busy, Jimmy. You're a busy man. $1,000 to put a phone in your car, and then you have to pay for service.

Then you got to pay, oh God, $14.95 a minute, I'm sure. That thing costs as much as an iPhone X costs. That's bananas. Oh yeah, and does barely make phone calls. Barely makes phone calls. Barely. If you're lucky. If you're lucky and in a perfect spot and everything's lined up and fucking all the

goats have been knocked out. It's ridiculous. And by the way, there's only two fucking satellites up there right now to relay that signal. Good luck, everybody. Now, the 1988 NFL draft. Yeah. He's hoping to be drafted. Sure.

Ideally. He doesn't get drafted at all. Not drafted at all. Not drafted at all. That was a draft. We've talked about it before. Andre Bruce was a huge bust at number one. Neil Smith, the good defensive end for the Chiefs. Hall of Famer.

He was number two. He probably is. He has no Hall of Famer. Tim Brown. Yeah, Hall of Famer. Sterling Sharp. Hall of Famer. Again, yeah, all these guys.

This is a pretty good Michael Irvin's in this draft. Hall of Famer. Yeah, Randall McDaniel, Hall of Famer. There's a ton of them in here. Ironhead Hay Yeah, Randall McDaniel, Hall of Famer. There's a ton of them in here. Ironhead Haywood, just a great guy with a cool fucking name. I love Ironhead Haywood. Icky Woods is a second rounder.

So Ironhead, Icky. There's a lot of running backs in here. He does not. Flipper Anderson, I forgot about that. God damn. Was that Dolphin Flipper Anderson? Flipper Anderson was a, you're just thinking that because he says his name is Flipper. Maybe that's what just happened. He was a Los Angeles ref.

He was 100% a Los Angeles ref. That is exactly what just happened. He played on the, yes it was. His name is Flipper. You're like, what's he, a Dolphin? I just saw Anderson across the back of a Dolphins jersey. Had nothing humble fucking leaveable. I didn't even in my head put together the fucking...

That might be a stupid shot. Thank you for telling us to restart. That's ridiculous. What an asshole. He's definitely not a Dolphin. Jesus Christ. Was he a running back? I am crying.

No, he's a wide receiver for the Rams who played opposite Henry Ellard in the 80s when Jim Everett was quarterback. Okay. Holy shit. Wow. In my head, I swear I saw it on that jersey. I was like, please tell me he didn't just do that. What a fucking asshole. His fucking name is Flipper.

That is beautiful, Jimmy. Unbelievable. My God, that's amazing. Wow, that's going to be a new shirt. Flipper is not, Jimmy. Unbelievable. My God, that's amazing. Wow, that's going to be a new shirt. Flipper is not a dolphin. That's going to be the new shirt, I think, this week. Holy Christ. We've got to put up also Thurman Thomas in that draft.

There's a Hall of Famer. Another Hall of Famer. He's great. He did play for the Dolphins at the end of his career. He did, didn't he? Son of a bitch. He was a Dolphin. There you go.

There we go. They're undraft a Dolphin. So there we go there. Undrafted for him. So it's tough. Tough going for an undrafted guy, you know? What do you do now? He's got to go try out for a team. He's got to try out. Where do you go? What do you do? You're from Division III. You're not even like a, you know, there's no like bowl footage.

Guys didn't watch you on TV on New Year's Day in a bowl. And then, too, like, there were so many good running backs in the NFL then. Everybody had a fucking great running back. Tons of them. Yeah, and they came in this draft. They were everywhere. But there was a team that was shit.

Okay. And that is the New York Jets. Okay. I almost guessed Tampa Bay Bucs. Yeah, well, they sucked, too. But the Jets, oh, I hated the Jets in the 80s, too. I hated Joe Montana, as I explained. Everybody still hates the Jets.

I hated the fucking Jets. They have fucking Josh McCown as their starter. That's pathetic. Right now, today. That is terrible. The Jets are fucking garbage. They're garbage. And they've always been garbage.

They're a garbage franchise. I know there's a lot of Jets fans out there. Sorry, guys. Listen. You have won one Super Bowl and it was 40 years ago. Patrick might be your best quarterback right now. I apologize. It was 50 years ago.

It was. It was 50 years ago. Yeah, that's 50. Fucking, that might be a real thing. In the last 40 years, 30 years probably. Cubs fans make fun of you. Just know that. In the last 30 years, Fitzpatrick might be their best quarterback.

That's, well, 30 if you go back, yeah, if you go 30. I mean, Testaverde. I mean, it wasn't Glenn Foley, I'll tell you that much, or anybody like that. They really, them and the Browns might have the worst luck with quarterbacks. It wasn't Browning Nagel, I'm pretty sure. God damn, it wasn't him. Holy shit. I watched, I was obsessed with football.

Unbelievable. That's a great one. I watched Rich Kotite jets. That's how fucking bad the one, they were so bad. So depressing. So terrible. I was thinking Ken O'Brien, but he was the 80s, so he was good, Ken O'Brien, actually. He was a good quarterback. Namath, but he was the 80s, so he was good, Ken O'Brien, actually. He was a good quarterback.

But he was so much longer ago. Oh, yeah, it was terrible. They've been a train wrecking quarterback. Since him, they've had nothing. Chad Pennington? Maybe. I don't know. I'd still pick Fitzpatrick over him. I mean, I know we're missing somebody, but it's not somebody too a Mark Sanchez. He was awful.

Anyway. Vic played there too, didn't he? Yeah, he came in as a, yeah, they signed him as an extra guy. He was awful. Anyway. Vic played there, too, didn't he? Yeah. He came in as a, yeah, they signed him as an extra guy. He might be their best quarterback. It's sad. That's a sad state of affairs you guys have going on there. Real quickly, Michael Vic has paid off 17.4 of $17.6 million. That's amazing.

I hate him for what he did to dogs, but this man might be on the fucking rebound and might come back up to be something. That's amazing, honestly. That's pretty amazing. To come back from that piece of shit behavior. You guys know on this show, the norm for that would have been for him to not pay back a dime, take every dime he could, put it in a burlap sack and flee to Europe or some shit like that. Or throw it off a bridge like you would do to a dog. Exactly. What a piece of shit.

But the man has come back with his finances. That's impressive. Being honest, I want to see him come back and fucking do great and then just piss it all away. People will never forgive him. Get caught with a fucking chicken fighting ring or something. He could have killed his kid and they'd forgive him before Michael Vick. What he did was pretty fucking horrific. OJ has a better chance of people going, you know what?

I think he's turned it around than they did with Michael Vick. I really feel like that. Yeah. I can see people be like, I don't know that OJ really did it. We know Vick did it. We know Vick did it. And you know what, I like dogs better than fucking people I never met before. I feel like that's how most people are.

I'll take a dog side over someone I never met. I've got a dog. I don't know Nicole. That's the thing. So who knows? Listen, I've met a really shitty server before that was a complete asshole. You never know. You never know. But every dog I've met has been pretty fucking great. That's the thing.

Sorry. It happens. You know there's people that are going to say that. So January 89, this terrible Jets franchise signs Terry to come to camp and whatever the fuck. Give it a shot. He's driving a 280Z, by the way. Wow. That's some late 80s shit right there.

My God. I think he hung around his Italian brother in a little too much. Yeah. And they were like, hey, you know what you got to do? You know what you got to get? The T-tops. They give you that bonus, right? No, don't get the Trans Am like a fucking IROC like everybody else.

Don't do that. I'm telling you. Get one of them 280Zs. They're fucking girls. They one of them 280Zs. They're fucking girls. They're going to be dripping down. They last forever. They're going to be dripping down their fucking legs when they see you in there. You understand me?

What's wrong with you? Get the fuck out. That's his coach, by the way, telling him that, which is very untoward for an educator. That's not great. Hey, you hit it right in the side of the head with that thing. July in camp, he's doing great. He loves it. He says, quote, I'm doing pretty well so far.

The staff here has been great. He says, by the way, they measure him at 5'7", so he was full of shit with 5'8", all those years. But I'll give him the 5'8". That's why I said that. So they measure him out? That included. Was that cock? That included cock.

They measured him east and west yeah that's what it is yeah he's he's a 5'7 without cock and 5'8 with cock that's how it works here it's you know this way in this way uh he's got he's he's shed 12 pounds since he got there he's down to 196 he said when you come from a division three school you have to be sharper out here to get noticed and he said everything everything's different. It's a much faster pace, much quicker. He said you have linebackers who run 4-5-40. So guys who are twice the size of you are going to catch you, which is difficult. He says he's adjusting to the system and learning the plays.

There's a lot more schemes involved here. He says that Wagner, he didn't have to know where the fullback was going because he'd just run behind him. He said here, at the drop of a't have to know where the fullback was going because he'd just run behind him. He said here, at the drop of a hat, I can be the fullback because the plays are complicated. And NFL is crazy complicated with these offenses. And they change on the fly, too. And a lot of the guys are complete idiots, too. That's the amazing thing is that's the only thing they can process.

That is the reason that so many timeouts are called through frustration, because they'll have a play called, somebody lines up in the wrong spot, and you see the quarterback throw up the tee, losing his mind because there's two people that are out of position, and they have no idea what fucking play just got called. The plays look like fucking instructions for a dresser that comes in 1,400 pieces. Like, how the hell am I supposed to do that? You'd have to just stare at it for a while. I don't know. He says he's going to make the team because he said, I'm out here because I'm a competitor. I've been doing this for a long time and I'm

just happy to have a chance to continue to play football. God damn it. He says all the right things. All the right things. Holy shit. The running back coach for the Jets here, Bobby Hammond, he says, he hasn't, quote, he hasn't really been exposed to the passing game. In our system, in any situation, a running back can be a receiver.

It's up to the quarterback to decide when he drops back. We'll take it one day at a time. It takes two or three weeks to really evaluate a player. They all go through peaks and valleys. They're saying, we don't fucking know what you're doing. He clocks in at 4'6 in the 40 for the Jets. Slowing down. Which isn't terrific, but he uses, they said he's got good quickness to find holes.

He's very strong. He can bench press his body weight 25 times. Wow. Which is pretty impressive. He can pop up 200 pounds 25 times for a guy who's that small. Oh, Christ. Not bad. And he maxes out at 410.

Jesus. So that's double his body weight. He's so strong. That's fucking strong. He's like an ant. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's crazy.

He says, quote, I can cut back pretty well when I have to and I've got enough power when I need it. I would fucking say so. I have a chance. I'm happy. The Jets are saying we're looking at him. Everything's going well. I'm going to say it right now. Can most guys in the NFL do that? Lift like that?

Not like that much. That's bananas. Well, if you're heavier, too, it's harder. That seems fucking... If you're an NFL-level level athlete you probably can't i bet you hope so there's running backs that are fucking 100 185 pounds five foot seven they can probably bench press 350 i can't imagine doing that pop it up neither can i that's bananas these are next level next world other worldly athletes we've never even like these are. And he's not even one of them. Right. You know what I mean?

Freaks of nature. Yeah. And he's not even that. The guys who are truly amazing. It's like, holy shit. So, you know, he's there. He's trying a lot. Let's call it now, Grace.

This is Grace? This is Grace. We're already there. We're going to call it Grace. Yeah, 1989, the next year in August, he's cut. Oh, boy. That's Grace right there. He's cut. He's one of the last players to be cut. Well, he's cut. Oh, boy. That's Grace right there. He's cut.

He's one of the last players to be cut, actually. He makes it to the last week. So good for him, anyway. They hung on to a free safety just in case. They were like, we don't really need him. He's cut. The Jets suck that year, too. They go 4-12.

I loved every second of it as a kid. I cheered every week. Who was their quarterback this year? Ken O'Brien, who was better known to Jets fans as that guy who's not fucking Dan Marino, who we drafted when we could have drafted Dan fucking Marino. You know, that guy. That guy that was a dolphin. The Irish guy.

Yeah, Ken O'Brien. That son of a bitch. Yeah. Hilarious. Hilarious. There was a starting lineup figure. Remember those little starting lineups? There was one my little brother had that was awesome.

It was a Ken O'Brien going back to pass with a Lawrence Taylor leaping up and it came together like in his face with his arms up about to murder him. It was more people bought that for the Lawrence Taylor. They didn't buy it for him. About to crush a jet. It was beautiful. Other

running backs. That's what they did. They were like, how are we going to sell this fucking, how do we sell him? Nobody wants Ken O'Brien. I know. We'll get a guy in New York that's really good. Yeah. And we'll make him attached to him. We can do.

And I want to know some other people that you don't want their starting lineup figure. And actually, one guy whose starting lineup figure I actually had was in this list. Yeah, because I loved those when I was a kid. All right. Let's see here. They had Ken O'Brien, like we said. Their running backs were Freeman McNeil. Remember Freeman McNeil? No. Number 24 when I was a kid. All right. Let's see here. They had Ken O'Brien, like we said. Their running backs were Freeman McNeil. Remember Freeman McNeil?

No. Number 24. He was pretty good. Jets had him from, I want to say, 83. They had him a long time. Now running backs are running out in four or five years. They had him for like eight, nine years. Johnny Hector, who I remember him pretty clearly from the Jets.

Brad Baxter stuck around for a little while. Roger Vick, who was a fullback. He wore one of those stupid neck things, I think. And wide receivers, Al Toon, who I had his starting lineup. Really? And I have his autograph also. Really? He was at some shit in New York when I was a kid and I got an Al. A grand opening or something?

Yeah, I have an Al Toon autographed football card somewhere. That's hilarious. The only autographs I got when I was a kid. Al Toon and Pepper Johnson. That's who I got. The Giants linebacker. Anyway. I got Sox Perry. What was his name?

Oh, Elliot Perry. Elliot Perry. And then I got Greg Vaughn from the Brewers. Oh, wow. Yeah, okay. I remember him. Write it up, fuck. Yeah, and then I had Cedric Sabalos, and then I lost it.

Interesting. I lost that one. Oh, that's a shame. Elliot Perry's is on my mom's stationary from her desk because he bought a 300ZX from her. Of course. See? 280Z. He was trying to step up to it next.

Also, wide receiver JoJo Townsell, whose name I always loved. That just sounded like a cool-ass name. This was also the year they drafted Dennis Bird, who's the guy who broke his neck. Yeah. Remember that guy? That was a terrible, terrible, terrible injury. So, where do you go when you're washed out of the NFL? Where do all our guys

go when they're washed out of the NFL? Back home? No, they're washed out of the NFL. They still want to play football. He's going to NFL Europe. He's going to Canada first. CFL is next. Because it's closer. So you go to the CFL. He doesn't need a plane ticket. He can drive it. He can drive it. He signs with the Toronto Argonauts that year. That's a popular one.

CFL, once again, Jesus Christ, ridiculous teams in the CFL, too. But we won't talk about that because we have the World Football League to talk about in a minute, and that's hilarious. I forgot about that one. Oh, I watched the shit out of that, too. Did you? Fuck yeah, it was football. It was one called like the Dragons or some shit. Yeah.

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Terry only plays in two games for the Argonauts. How many seasons did the WFL last? A few, and then it went away, and then it came back. And it came back, yes. Yeah, because they tried it as NFL Europe. Right. It was the World Football League, and then they changed it to NFL Europe. Got it.

And it came back in, like, 07, I want to say it came back. Only plays two games for Toronto for the Argonauts here in the CFL. Not that great. 29 rushes, 135 yards, which is good for 4.7 to carry, which actually isn't terrible. 14 yards is his long one touchdown. He has five receptions. 14 is his long. Is his long.

Jesus. But, I mean, 4.7 to carry. That's good. But they didn't see what they wanted in him, and they let him go. And that was that. So he's out of Canada. That team went 7-11 that year, so they sucked. Under Coach Bob Obilovich, which is a ridiculous name.

It's a great coach name, though. He could be Bill Obabovich, though. It would be just the same. Coach Bill Obilovich, which is a ridiculous name. It's a great coach name, though. He could be Bill Obabovich, though. It would be just the same. Coach Bill Obabovich. Coach Bob Obilovich. It's the stupidest shit ever. They made the playoffs at 7-11 somehow. Thank God for that.

There's like eight teams in Canada. If you want to have a playoff, everyone's invited. It doesn't matter what your record is. Every year, it's fucking, that just started at the playoffs. Absolutely. He played in the playoffs. Absolutely. He played in the World Football League. He says it. His friends say it.

All this shit. He didn't play on a team long enough to. I looked through, and you know how hard it is to find World Football League rosters from fucking 1991? I did it. And I looked through all of this shit for three seasons and never found him on a goddamn roster. Ever. So he must not have been there for too long. Probably the same thing as Toronto. Came in and came out.

There was a Titans in there, right? Well, let's find out. Had he played, let's find out which one of these teams he would have played for. The funny thing is I remember kids having New York, New Jersey Knights jackets in the seventh grade. That's what it was, yeah. The black one with the chest. I remember that so clearly. That was what it was, yeah. The black one with the chest. I remember that so clearly.

That was black and purple, wasn't it? Or dark blue, something like that. I don't remember. But I remember kids having those jackets. With a giant sword on it. What are we doing? So they had the London Monarchs. Good. Barcelona Dragons.

London fucking butterflies. Yes. And they had gold helmets, I think, on them. I think so. But it's London Monarchs because of the monarchy. Because of the monarchy. But it's fucking butterflies. Yes. And they had gold helmets, I think, on them. I think so. But it's London Monarchs because of the monarchy. Because of the monarchy. But it's fucking butterflies. Punny sons of bitches.

Stupid. Barcelona Dragons. The Frankfurt Galaxy. New York, New Jersey Knights. That one was cool, actually, because it had the galaxy on the side of the helmet. That was a cool helmet. The Orlando Thunder, which is completely unnecessary. The Montreal Machine.

Yeah. The Rally Durham Skyhawks. That's right. Which sounds like a minor league baseball team. And they went 0-10 that year. Anything in Durham sounds like a minor league baseball team. It does. Durham Bulls, yeah.

And they went 0-10 that year, so maybe they were a minor league baseball team. No doubt. They decided to put helmets on. Come on, guys. We can do it. Fuck it. I know. It's fine.

Just get out there. We all want to play quarterback. We can all throw. Look, I'm sorry. Birmingham Fire. Yes. The San Antonio Riders. That's fine. Just get out there. We all want to play quarterback. We can all throw. Look, I'm sorry. Birmingham Fire, the San Antonio Riders, and the Sacramento Surge. Nothing to me says international like Sacramento, California. Let me tell you that. And by the way, international, it's just because of three teams.

That's it. It's so dumb. There's one, the European division of it. That's what they were, too. European, the North American, and the North American East and West is what they had. Now, he goes, so he's done. So what's he going to do now? What do you think?

Where is he going to go? Is he going to fucking Mexico? You know he's going home. Oh, yeah. You know he's going home, Jimmy. I'm just trying to find something to keep him out of home. He's going home because he is a criminal athlete. So he's going home. That's where they all go.

Never, ever go back home. Matter of fact, it's been a long time. It's been almost a year since we've gone over the rules. Let's go over the rules quickly. Quickly for you folks. And if you enjoy this, we have a t-shirt that says the rules too also. But it's been a year since we've gone over them almost. The Jarrett Wyatt episode was the last time we did it.

Is that the last time? That was the last time we went over the rules. The heart cutting. The heart cutting in episode 53. The heart for murder. It was very clever on my part. He had a heart for murder. He had a murdered heart.

So anyway, number one. Number one. Yeah. Don't name your kid Junior. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever.

Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever.

That's number one. Keep your silver haired middle aged white man close. So close. Close. Because he'll get you out of jams as these guys constantly get in jams and constantly get out by guys who have even more selfish reasons and they're bigger scumbags than that amazing do not find religion ever don't find religion because guess what you will it's it's usually just the the bottom of the spiral right and it's just to push you out even further into your fuckery.

I'll say this, though. If you've got it when you start, stick with it. No problem. Stick with it. When things are going terrible and you just got out of prison for like a two and a half year meth sentence. That's when you don't change your name to Mohammed. Don't find prison.

Don't find religion because you're just grasping at straws. You think you're okay and you're not. That's the problem. You're just grabbing a crutch and something to blame your dumb behavior on. That's all. That's it. Never move home. Ever.

Ever move home is number four. Right. And never, ever, ever keep a teenager in your hit squad. Ever. Terrible idea. Terrible. It's worked out badly for more than one of our people here. It's true.

So those are the rules. They don't know how to get away with murder. Ever. They do not. So those are the rules. If you have an athlete in your family, if anything, if you have even a child who's the slightest bit athletically inclined, make him listen to this show. Make him.

Force him. Doesn't matter. So those are the rules. Don't get married is in there also. Never get married. When things are going bad, don't get married. Don't find religion. Don't move home.

That's good. Don't have a child. Don't have a child. 1992, he moves home., don't get married. Don't find religion. Don't move home. That's good. Don't have a child. Don't have a child. 1992, he moves home. Terry and Teresa get married. Oh, shit. Yes. That's a problem.

Right away, bad things are happening. It's so funny. He gets married, moves home, breaks two of the rules. He's been the nicest guy in the world up to this point. 1992, right after all that happens happens he's arrested for threatening to kill a man oh my god the second he said i do an evil switch turned in him and they said that's one too many rules you broke asshole sorry he turned to the preacher and said i'll fucking kill you i'll fucking kill you uh charges end up being reduced to simple assault we can't find shit on

this this is from court documents but from a later thing. So there's really nothing. So we fought somebody and in the middle of the melee, he said, I'm going to fucking kill you. You know, he was menacing someone from what it sounded like, because he was the he's the aggressive for sure. And he was menacing. He can bench 400 pounds. Yeah. So much so that he ends up it ends up being reduced to a simple assault, which is still reduced to an assault is pretty good.

But a grand jury fails to indict him. So he is keeping one rule. He's moved back home and he's got married. I don't know about religion, but he is keeping a silver-haired, middle-aged white man. Close. I'm sure Joe Martucci had something to do with this or one of these assholes. Hey, give the fucking kid a break. What do you say?

One of those things. Tell you what, I'll let you take a look at his cock. You wash this away. Hey, it's beautiful. You're right. Yana. Yana, come on. Hold on.

Yana, let me approach the bench. Yana. Yeah, let me approach the bench. You don't even have to go. He could take it right out on the table right now from where he's sitting. He'll just put it right up there. He'll put it right here on your desk. It's pretty good.

You put it just up. That's all you're going to hear. He takes it out right there. It'll be in your chamber. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Right in your chamber. You can look at it from there. It's pretty good. You put it just up. That's all you're going to hear. He takes it out right there. It'll be in your chamber. It's beautiful. It's right in your chamber. You can look at it from there.

It's fine. So 1993 comes along. He's got those charges behind him. Let's break another rule. Let's have a son. And what do you name him? No. Of course you fucking name him Terry Jr.

Why would you name anybody Jr. when you didn't do anything great? God damn it. What have you done to name him? And Terry. Yeah. No man wants to be named Terry. If your name's Terry, I'm sorry, but you know you didn't do anything great. God damn it. What have you done to name me? And Terry. Yeah. No man wants to be named Terry. If your name's Terry, I'm sorry, but you know you didn't want to be named Terry. As a kid, you asked your mom at some point, why the fuck did you name me Terry?

And how many times, why are they calling you Ter-Bear? Stop it. Oh, Jesus Christ. The worst. So Terry Jr. So now he is just out of control. Yeah. He's breaking all the rules.

It's a mess. He has broken the three cardinal ones. These are really the cardinal sins here. Married, religion, name your kid junior. Really the three that are close to the heart. Right now. Immediately. 1994, things aren't going great. Let's have

another daughter. Let's have a daughter. First daughter. Let's have another kid. We need to bring some more mouths to feed because my career took a shit. So let's have more kids. Is her name Teresa? Her name is Alexandra. Thank you, I'm sure.

But I think his middle name is Alexander. So he's an asshole. It doesn't matter. Is it really? It doesn't fucking matter. That's what I mean. He is an asshole. I want it to be his middle name.

It is. No, he's an asshole. Terry A. Underwood. Oh, my God. Who the fuck do you think that A stands for It is. No, he's an asshole. Terry A. Underwood. Oh, my God. What the fuck do you think that A stands for? Aloysius? He's an asshole. It stands for asshole.

That's exactly what it stands for. Asshole. So he's an asshole. He keeps quiet. Yeah. He's doing like, he does different, he's big into like, he does like, he helps people. Aloysius. What the fuck fuck he works with like disabled people he works with social work he does like because he's got a sociology degree and shit like that

so he does a lot of like work helping this is impressive he's a nice guy like that that's what i mean he's a decent guy uh things are going okay for that he has two kids he named them stupid he's a moron he did all of that. It's okay. But in 1997, that junior sting, because that first arrest was before the junior. So now that junior sting's finally, he outran it for a while, but it boomeranged back at him. And he's arrested for, again, beating and threatening to kill a man. Jesus.

Again in 97. And the exact same thing happens. Really? He's got to have something. Somebody's helping. Absolutely. Exact same thing. They're reduced to simple assault, taken to a grand jury. Grand jury fails thing happens. Really? He's got to have something. Somebody's helping. Absolutely. The exact same thing. They're reduced to simple assault, taken to a grand jury.

Grand jury fails to indict. Really? Yeah. So the exact same thing happens. Whatever happened, happened. Whatever happened, he figured out a way to know, to call it a fair fight. I don't know how it happens. Intimidating a fucking witness.

Something. Something's happening. He's doing something. He knows somebody. And he could know somebody. I mean, Something's happening. He's doing something. He knows somebody. And he could know somebody. I mean, you never know. He did play football. Right.

And people, everybody, you know, we know how the silver-haired middle-aged. Somebody knows somebody. We know how the silver-haired middle-aged network works. No doubt. It's tentacles everywhere. So starting in 1998, around 1998, he starts working for an organization called Spur Services. It's in Orange, New Jersey. Works with disabled adults. Jesus. It's in Orange, New Jersey. Works with disabled adults.

Jesus. It's a behavior. He's a behavior modification supervisor who helped clients with job placements at the time of their crime. Behavior modification supervisor. Yeah. He's working. He's helping clients get jobs. He's rehabilitating criminals?

Like, yeah. Criminally, they're disabled. He's finding jobs for criminals and disabled people. Okay. Criminals who have, like, issues and disabled people. That's some noble fucking work. Very noble. Very noble.

Something not so noble. Or it's noble, I guess. It's your wife, but it's still not smart. In 1998, in February, Teresa's pregnant again. She's pregnant again. This is a lot of pressure already. They live in an apartment, by the way. Get out of here. They don't have a house.

They live in a fucking apartment in Aberdeen, New Jersey. Oh, Jesus. And they're trying to make it. And I mean, they're doing their best as people. She works as a dental hygienist, and he does his social work. I mean, that's nice work. And threatens to kill people. And threatens

to kill people on the side, but they're not making $200,000 a year between them. I mean, they're struggling to make ends meet. They really are. And they're working hard. Sweet Pete. What a life. That's a tough life, though. It's a tough life. He's 32 years old. On the East Coast. He's trying his hardest. Yeah, it's really tough for him. So

he's trying about it. His high school player that he played with that was a football, it was the quarterback. Teammate, yeah. He said that Terry never really, it didn't bother him that he didn't make it in professional football. Really? He said that he was somewhat bitter that he never succeeded,

but not terribly. He said, quote, I know he's having some financial problems. You can't make any money working like that with kids. He had been making a lot of money when he was playing in Europe, but now he's living in an apartment with two kids and waiting on a third. It's difficult. Yeah, but it sounds like and seems like Terry had some self-awareness and knew what he was capable of because he didn't go to those colleges that were recruiting him. No. What is it? They weren't recruiting him. That's where he wanted to go. Oh, OK.. The fucking – what is it? Well, they weren't recruiting him.

That's where he wanted to go. Oh, OK. Yeah, they weren't recruiting him. Division I schools weren't recruiting him. He went to a Division III. And he worked his hardest there and he tried. He's basically gotten everything he can out of everything he's been doing so far. He always gets the maximum out of it.

He's got self-awareness. He knows what he's worth, but he's going to try to overachieve. He squeezes the life out of every. He's got self-awareness. He knows what he's worth, but he's going to try to overachieve. He squeezes the life out of every opportunity that he has. But then eventually you're squeezing blood from a stone. Eventually he drains all the blood from it, which is not too far off.

He's a mess. No, just he's a mess completely. Like I said, Teresa's the dental hygienist. She teaches a Bible class at the Calvary Baptist Church in Aberdeen. They're nice people. He works with disabled people. She's teaching Bible classes.

They're a nice couple. They have a couple of nice kids. Well, they're named stupidly, but that's not their fault. That's not their fault. Is it? So the pressure's starting to build up on August 24th, the night of August 24th and morning of August 25th at 1.25 a.m. 1994?

1998. Okay. On August 25th at 1.25 a.m., so the night of the 24th, Terry calls 911 from his home. He calls. He tells 911 that, quote, that his wife, quote, was lying on the floor in their bedroom, quote, bleeding from her head and that there was blood everywhere. And he said that he had just come into the room and he did not know what happened, but it looked like his wife had, quote, slipped on something. That's what he says. The operator, 911 operator, tells him to start CPR, but he refused.

Why? operator tells him to start cpr yeah but he refused why he said no he said quote there was blood splattered on the walls and he was looking for he was looking for a freaking gunshot he said what he thought she got he said like he got shot i can't help her right now i'm busy looking for the gunshot you know what i'm gonna let her die on the floor i'm really gonna this fucking drywall man i gotta this we're renting remember i you that? It's a security deposit. I'm going to have to fix this fucking thing. So hold on. Let her bleed out.

I'm good. This is, what are you kidding me? This is nuts. Your fucking wife. Get down there and help her. I got to find the gunshot first. Hold on. A freaking gunshot.

Right. He doesn't even say fuck. So anyway, he then hangs up on 911. Wow. He says, I got to call my mom and her mom. So later. Send some people. mom. Send some people. Bye. Send some shit. Bye. No, I'm not doing CPR or nothing. Don't worry about that.

Yeah, she's dying. I'm going to call her mom. I got so much shit to do. I got gunshots to find. I got phone calls to make. Can you guys get here and do this? By the way, there's blood everywhere. That's gross. I got to make lunches for the kids tomorrow. That's a real pain in the ass. I'm not touching her. Ew. That's the only thing he didn't say is ew. Ew, there's gross. I've got to make lunches for the kids tomorrow. That's a real pain in the ass. I'm not going to touch her. I'm not touching her. Ew. Ew.

That's the only thing he didn't say is ew. Ew. There's blood. No. Ew. Gross. What if she had something? There's a freaking gunshot, you guys.

She could have something. I don't know. I don't know. After he made his phone calls, apparently, he called 911 back and he was like, yeah, me again. Yeah. Hey. Hey, you.

Yeah. Dead wife in the bedroom. Yeah. How's it going? He said, yeah, it doesn't look like she's breathing. So, you know, doesn't look like she's breathing. He's still on the phone when the cops show up, when the first officer arrives. He shows up, the officer.

Terry is wearing undershorts, like warm-up shorts and socks. And that's it. No shirt. You sure it's not boxers? No, I think he's wearing, I can't tell. Boxers or fucking warm-ups, something. He's not formally. He's not dressed.

He's not formally attired. Right. He is in his relaxing around the house clothes with no shirt on. And he has no board on him. Yeah. He said the officer immediately noted in his notes that he had a, quote, tremendous physique. I don't know if it was for factual reasons or if he wanted to see his black stallion or what. He had to remind himself of that physique for later on after he gets back to the station. He said, hang on, took out his notepad, click, click, shiny like the skin of the seal.

Put it away. Perfect. Perfect. What a physique. Yeah, so he said Terry brought the officer to the bedroom where Teresa was on the floor and what the cop described as, quote, a huge pool of blood and a blood-covered bed. Pool of blood the size of his cock? He smeared it around.

So immediately he said he saw obvious massive head and neck injuries, didn't find a pulse, and called for assistance, obviously. He makes, at this point, outside the apartment, somebody is there. I think it's her mother or his mother comes to pick up the kids. Okay. He brings the two kids to them because the kids are in the house for this. They were sleeping. She's pregnant. It's the middle of the night.

Oh, yeah, she's six months pregnant, by the way. Holy shit. That's the other thing we'll get into. She is six months pregnant. Sweet pea. This is fucking horrific, right? You don't even know what happened yet here. That just, like, registered right now. I'm losing my mind. Oh, yeah. Six months pregnant.

Six months. Cooking along pretty good here. So they're outside. He goes to hand the kids off to the relatives here and the cop asks Terry what fucking happened, basically. He said he didn't know. He said he just got home.

He said, you know, you should check this out. He goes, you check my story out. I was just here. He said, you know, he goes, you could speak to the toll collector. I just got off the Garden State Parkway. You could touch my motorcycle. It's still warm. Feel my motorcycle.

It's warm. I was just at the toll. Why are you defending yourself? All they asked was what happened. He told the 911 operator about the toll i just went through a toll so they know i wasn't here like he literally was like making an alibi on the 911 call on the fly not even like i hope she's not dead that never came out but hey i did that they they do check the motorcycle is warm and they do talk to the toll collector that says that the toll collector saw him between 12 and 1230. But this is 125.

Right. That's a big window right there. A little over an hour. He comes back inside, Terry, tells him that he tells another officer he just got home. At this point, he's waving his arms, and he's mumbling and walking around and acting kind of like- Weird. Angry and weird, and he slams mumbling and walking around and acting kind of like angry and weird.

And he slammed something down real hard in the living room. At this point, the cops are a little uncomfortable. What's going on, sir? They don't know if he just killed a woman and he's big and strong and acting a little crazy. Yeah. So apparently the cop puts his hand on his arm and says, hey, man, calm down. Like he's treating him like a victim's family.

Like, hey, it's all right. Calm down. Like, he's treating him like a victim's family. Like, hey, it's all right. Calm down. It's going to be okay. But Terry, quote, flung the officer's hand away and started, quote, wailing at him. So apparently, yeah, he started going nuts. Throwing hands? Throwing hands, yelling, screaming, just going crazy. So they were concerned, the cops, obviously, and for everything.

So they held him. They told him he's not under arrest, but they handcuffed him, and they put him in a police car. So they said, basically, get your shit together. You've got to calm the fuck down. You can't be going nuts in there. We're going to work on the crime scene. We've got guns and shit.

Yeah, plus there's blood and shit, whatever. So another cop approached the car after that and told him of his Miranda rights. He's not under arrest. He asked him if he's willing to give a statement to the police down at the station, and Terry said he would. They never found the weapon, never found it. That's not a suicide. Yeah, no, this was definitely not a suicide when I tell you exactly what happened here.

100% the least suicide I've ever seen here. No sign of forced entry. There was no blood found anywhere in the apartment but the bedroom. None. And they said the blood, it was all her blood, basically. Like, that's incredible. There's so much blood. They found one fingerprint in the apartment, which wasn't.

When girls get pregnant, they make so much more blood. Oh, I'm sure she had more, too. It's crazy. Another person in there so especially six months old right that's a you know forming so they found one latent fingerprint in the apartment that wasn't uh terry's or wasn't uh either of their mothers or the kids or uh that wasn't either of their mothers uh or a for another woman who he used to be fucking and used to bring over to the house we'll get into that too He's been fucking around a little bit here.

Wow. Police look at the print and they exclude all four women as suspects. When you hear how she was killed, you'll know it wasn't some woman with no axe to grind here. Yeah, they would later tell the police everything. They'd talk about him. Let's talk about what happened to her. you know tell the police everything they talk about him uh let's talk about what happened to her uh theresa uh was looked over by a dr j peacock of the monmouth county medical examiner's office he they don't they can't really determine time of death sure he said she bled to death somewhere

between 9 30 and 1 30 a.m so i mean that's a four hour window so much uh as a result of quote multiple of multiple sharp force injuries the doctor counted this is un-fucking-real and makes me sick the doctor counted 88 stab wounds what the fuck 80 88 how do you you okay even if you're in a rage. Yeah. You are out of that shit by 40. Yeah. You are, you do not. I've seen prison fights. You know what I mean?

Where they're fueled. Count 88. That's what I'm doing. Watch, like, I'm talking right now. James was just banging on, that was maybe 30. That was so many. And it was so many. Oh my God.

To the point where you'd be like, my arm's getting tired. Yeah, that would take like a team of people. Not to mention, I think I got the job done. Working in shifts. That's so much. Yeah, you'd need like a baton. I've seen prison fights where guys got stabbed like 27 times. And it's ridiculous how many.

I was losing my mind watching how many times that knife was pulled. 88. 88 times. Unbelievable. Cuts and stabs to her head, neck, upper back,

chest, forearms, and hands. There were no knife injuries, no sharp force injuries penetrating the uterus or the fetus. Yeah.

What's the name in there? Which is odd. It was a girl, by the way, they found out. But the baby died due to the mother dying and blood loss and asphyxia so uh yeah that is terrible uh the uh the dr peacock says that the stabs that penetrated

theresa's skull penetrated her skull jimmy what you gotta have some force he says he's a strong dude that can bench past 400 pounds when you only weigh 180. He says, quote, that Teresa's, quote, skull would have required the exertion of extraordinary force of a degree he had only seen once or twice in his career. My Christ. So you have to be extremely strong. Almost like if you were, like, in Brentwood and you almost cut a woman's head off with one knife shot. You'd have to be, like, an athlete, like a professional, like a world-class one, as a matter of fact. Maybe even a running back. Who knows? You'll have to be like an athlete, like a professional, like a world class one. As a matter of fact, maybe even a running back.

Who knows? You'll have to see. So yeah, one penetrated the depth of five inches into her skull and pierced her brain. Another nearly severed the bridge of her nose and carried the instrument

through her wing bone and fractured her rib. So he stabbed down so hard, cut her nose off, threw her fucking bones and got a rib at the bottom. Is that a fucking sword? No, he just went hacking. He went hacking. Jesus. It's absolutely insane.

Oh, you think that was all he did? Oh, boy. What do you think? He found her sleeping and just decided to start hacking her up, maybe? No, no, no. She was also severely beaten first. Oh, boy. First, she was severely beaten.

Her lower and upper jaw and her right hand and forearm were all broken. Oh, my God. Two dislodged teeth in her abdomen, left breast, and thigh were bruised. He beat the shit out of this pregnant woman and then fucking stabbed her 88 times. Holy shit. You son of a bitching asshole piece of shit. I can't imagine. I can't even believe that. What the fuck

possesses you to do this shit? We've had a lot of bad shit on this show. How come I've never heard of this? Thank you. We've had bad shit on this show, man. We've had Jared Wyatt. What, does he have to win the Heisman for us to talk about this? No shit. Yes. Or like play for the fucking bills, brother. So, or be in Leslie Nielsen this show man we've had jared was he have to win the heisman for us to talk about shit yes or like play for the fucking bills so for being leslie nielsen movies what does he have to do ah it's jared why he didn't even get a hertz red car commercial we're not talking about this fucking

ridiculous jared wyatt cut a guy's heart out but it was like an mma fighter they were doing like pcp or mushrooms or some shit together uh what's his name? Randall Woodfield was a horrible serial killer and rapist and killed, but not his pregnant wife. No. None of these people turn to someone with their child inside them. And with not only that, but the fact that that's your fucking wife that you've been with since high school and is a mother of your children. This is 1998.

The mother of your fucking children. And you say, nope, going to beat her until I can't beat her anymore. And then you think you'd be tired from beating her. Nope, I have 88 stabs in me. I still got that left. Wow. This is after O.J. This is after.

And this still didn't make national news. He'll say that he's going to be railroaded because of O.J. That's what he's going to say. Yeah, OK. The doctor said that the cuts and fractures of Teresa's right hand and forearm were defensive injuries and some of her bruising could have been caused by a fist in those areas and not just the knife. No signs of forced entry, but there were two missing knives from the kitchen butcher block

on the counter. So the knives came from inside the house. More than likely, they never found him. They never found the knives. He lied when he called 911 about how long. He would have been tossed over a bridge, like on a ferry or something? Possibly, like on a ferry, like where the toll booth is. Right, like where a bridge.

Where, like, your motorcycle would be warm when you got back from doing it. Something like that, maybe. Yeah, along with your clothes and shit like that. He tells 911 operator that he, quote, I wasn't gone hour uh when he was on the phone with them and they even the operator said he seemed overly eager to say that he'd just been on the garden state parkway and paid a toll right he comes into the station he's chatting with the detectives they say he's very personable um you know that sort of thing very personable uh they they had common interests they were talking about this was while was while the forensic team was combing the

apartment. This is where shit gets interesting here, where he starts to where he has a point on a couple of things here. We'll get into in a second. He made statements between his arrival at the station, which was like two in the morning and noon, that were all suppressed.

I don't think they Mirandized him properly at that point. Those were suppressed. But then he makes statements after noon. And think about how long he's been there. Ten hours now. Ten hours, 12 hours. He says, this is his account of the evening.

He says that he got home on August 24th, came home from work at 5 p.m., took a nap, left for the gym at 7.30, Left the gym at 9.10. Showered and changed. Went to watch sports at one of his friend's houses, which we'll talk to him in a second, and got home around 1.20 p.m. That's what he said. He said, apart from the nap, he hasn't slept since the prior morning. Okay, you're talking about a guy that is a father of two with one on the way and he's gone literally all fucking day.

Totally fine. That's nuts. Goes to the gym, comes home, he's going to watch sports. That doesn't cause any strife. Nothing's wrong. Yeah, you try that shit right now.

Your wife isn't pregnant. Good luck. She's probably texting you now. Where the fuck are you? And you know, you're not just out and about. It's just normal. You can't do that.

When you've got a family, you don't just get to fucking do you, boo-boo. That's right. They polygraph him. At 6.55 p.m., the cops tell him that he failed the polygraph. And at this point, again, because he's not under arrest, they say to him, would you like an attorney? Would you like food? Would you like to leave?

Would you like to call anybody? Would you like to do anything? The door's open. Do what you want to do. And he's he's like no i'll hang with you guys and he said no now the cops said they did that yeah he's like no i'm good the captain here said that they did that because uh quote because he knew that they had the defendant for a long time and that they had entered the twilight zone they're gonna make a big deal out of that term there's a term if you read the david simon homicide book david Simon, the creator of The Wire. Great fucking book. Great show.

You know all that. Have you heard of The Wire? I've heard of it. Have you heard? It's slightly. I've heard you've enjoyed it. It's a decent, decent little dramatic piece. So in this, they talk about this a lot where when you have a defendant in there in an interrogation room, you only have a certain amount of time with him.

Yeah. They said once 12 hours passes. Oh, God. It's pretty much whatever the fuck he says is tainted. room you only have a certain amount of time with him yeah they said once 12 hours passes oh god it's pretty much whatever the fuck he says is tainted and the judge has a good chance a judge is going to throw it out it makes sense you get delirious you get delirious not only that too you can uh if someone is especially like the brendan dassey thing yeah you watch that interview he's a person of lower intelligence that they can just beat and batter long enough to where he just goes i guess i'll just say I did it.

And then once you say you did it, you fucking did it at that point. You can't take it back. So that's what happens. You're missing WrestleMania forever, Desi. Sorry, Desi, but I don't think this guy is that guy, though. I don't think he's – I think this guy – You think he's trying his best to get out of it. A little stronger than that.

And eventually, finally at 9 p.m., which he's been there a while. That is a long time. Itm yeah which she's been there a while that is a long time it's 18 hours he's been there at 9 p.m he said uh he said quote i did it i just snapped i started beating her i don't know what i hit her with i got a lot of things going on in my life and the pressure is just too much that's his statement he gives to the cops that's a lot at 9 p.m that's a shitload uh then he started weeping and crying for like 10 minutes. Wow. That's a lot. Yeah.

I mean, just saying that to get out of there is one thing, but then to weep and cry for, I guess, maybe if you were, whatever. I mean, if you just realized that you just threw everything away. Yeah, that's the thing. With those words, whether you did it or not, you're going to cry. Absolutely. That's exactly right. Now, what they're saying. Or if you see your dead wife in your head after what you did and know that she was pregnant, you may cry, too.

That's the thing. And they have to depend on these words for the most part because they never found the clothing. They never found the murder weapon. They never found any of that shit. He was spotless when they found him. His physique was amazing. He was fantastic. He was a black beauty.

They found he had one spot of blood on one sock. Another running back with bloody socks. But one spot of blood on one of his socks, which he went in the bedroom. Yeah, he found her dead. Yeah, you would think he'd do that. Unless it was on the top of his foot. You know what I mean? If it's on the top of his sock, hard to explain that away. That would be a tough one, yeah.

Hard to say no. August 26th, 1998, which is the next day, he's arrested and charged with murdering his wife, Teresa, which isn't the worst thing in the world here, while his kids slept, too. Wow. He beat and stabbed her while his two little kids slept in the other room. How did he do that? What a fucking mess, man. But, I mean, whoever did it did that. Oh, whoever it was, yeah.

Well, his best friend, Joe Wright, he says that, you know, he was there with him. He goes, hey, Terry was here with me. He said he was at his him he goes hey terry was here with me he said uh they were he was at his home uh watching football and basketball he stayed from 10 15 until about 120 which sounds like hey say i was there till 120 i said he was there from 10 15 to 120 uh bright hey he's being really he was though you never know he's saying uh quote i don't blame the cops for trying to solve the murder but just based on time frame, there's no way he could have done it. He'd have to be Houdini to pull this off, murdering his wife, cleaning himself up, cleaning up the crime scene all within an hour and 15 minutes.

Then he'd have to be a Grammy award-winning actor. Wow. To act as cool as he was. I made the same mistake on the show before. At least it wasn't to a newspaper. So he said, yeah, he had to be a Grammy Award winning actor to act as cool as he was at that point. Really? He's got to be Jamie Foxx?

Is that what you're saying? Yeah, you know how it is here. He's got to be Jamie Foxx. Exactly. That's perfect. He's got to be Jamie Foxx to get away with killing his wife. That's amazing. He's got to be Will Smith, goddammit.

Those parents, they just don't understand. No, they don't. The major sticking point. That's so fun. It's fucking great. The major sticking point here is whether to charge him with one murder or two. Oh. Because they're like, if the baby,

because they try to make a law in Jersey, turns out they only charge him with one. Yeah,, if the baby, because they tried to make a law in Jersey, turns out they only charge them with one. Yeah, because if the baby wasn't, what's the word? Cannot be charged with double homicide because the fetus is not a living human being. And they tried to do the laws to basically say at six months, the baby could survive. They tried to make it to when it could survive outside the mother, which is different for all different kids.

So it's a very, it's a real gray area and the lawn never got off the ground, basically. They can. I had a friend who was three months premature, but he died when he was 18 because of a defect in his heart from when he was a baby. I've known people that have had very premature and they are fine, and then some people you never know. So who the fuck knows? I almost said the baby's not salvageable, but that's not the word.

I don't think that's the word you want there. That sounds horrific. Yeah. But they're viable. There it is. There you go. That's the word. Viable and salvageable are not the same.

No. Definitely not. People are shocked, Jimmy. I'm sure. As you can imagine. Teammates, a guy named Mike Jones who played with him at – Mike Jones. Mike Jones at Matawan.

He says, quote, I've known Terry all my life. We went to church with Teresa. We can't believe it. He said Terry and Teresa, I've known them since – they were teenagers. Like these people are shocked. The pastor at the Cavalry Baptist Church where she taught Sunday school said, quote, we're just shocked. We're just shocked and all just shattered over this tragedy. She was a wonderful lady, an extremely devoted mother and a very sweet spirit.

I know him, but not to the degree that I know her. You meet somebody a few times and who can say from that? This is just such a tragedy. In other words, I kind of thought he was a dick, but I'm not going to say that. That's what it sounds like. I love the East Coast. We don't know from that. We don't know from that. That's what it sounds like. I love the East Coast. We don't know from that. We don't know from that.

That's hilarious. Yeah, who can say from that? But who can say from that? We were shocked. We were shattered. It's like somebody gave them a thesaurus with only the SH chapter. We were shattered. We were shithoused. We were shithoused. We had all sorts of things going on. Everything was SH.

So the neighbors here from the apartment complex are shocked. They all said this is crazy. They knew them. They were all very nice. You know, kids played together, all this shit. One woman says, quote, my windows were wide open and I heard nothing. She said, yeah.

She said, and it's right. They share a common wall, too. Heard nothing. Windows open, common wall, the whole deal. She said, the thought of me sitting on my couch 20 feet away while she was brutally murdered is unbelievable. Here's something, though. That is weird. She could have been blasted in the face, teeth knocked out.

She could have been unconscious when she was being just fucking savaged. And then stabbed the fuck out of her 88 times. It's possible. I can't imagine somebody was awake for 88 stab wounds. That's insane. No, no. It's not possible. He was stabbing five inches wounds. That's insane. No, no. It's not possible. He was stabbing five inches into her skull.

She was passed out already. She was knocked unconscious for sure. He was piercing her brain. I'm pretty sure she was done. She was done. Hopefully. I hope she didn't last too long into that anyway. Unbelievable.

Christ, I pray it. So, yeah, his football coach here, silver-haired, middle-aged white man, Walter Hamerlein, who was his Wagner coach, said, quote, this is a terrible tragedy. I was deeply saddened when I heard about it. I bet you were. Bail hearing. His bail is set at $350,000. So, fuck, he's in the Monmouth County Jail.

Ouch. Man, I mean, fuck, going from the Jets to here, sitting in there waiting for your... God, can you imagine that shit? I can't imagine being at that level of being accepted and signed to a professional football team. And now you're here. And then you're here. Not only that. Yeah.

After stabbing the... Let's say you didn't do it at this point. After being accused of that kind of thing, you have to feel like a real piece of shit. You have to kind of thing you have to feel like a real piece of shit you have to feel terrible and you have to feel like yeah yesterday you had a two kids and yeah on the way and you had a family and a job and people liked you and your friends and you did stuff and now you're in fucking monmouth county jail just sitting there on your ass wearing that gross clothing and at one too, he was in there. They take you from the jail to the interview room. They have those interview rooms.

Because they have to get everything out of these fucking people, too. And they keep talking to him over and over. So they bring him into this interview room. And they have somebody special that they're bringing in there. And they open the door. And it's my grandma. Hey, there she is! And she says...

Ma, how is it you've come to arrive here? Ma, look at you. You're such a handsome young man. So handsome. Ma, why you throw it? Why you have nice... Your wife's so nice. Why? Why you do this? You saw. But you should

cut your hair a little. Get nice man haircut. Nice. You know, you want to look nice. But you're in the jail. Why you do that? Are you hungry? I make something for you. No, no, no shwarma. I have no shwarma for you, but I do. You're very... What's that?

You have shorts. It's shiny like the skin of the seal I see hanging. Why hang so low? Oh, no, no. I go, no, no, no. Why hang so low? Poof. Poof. And a puff of spoon beatings and marinara sauce.

My grandmother's gone. She's out of there. Why hang so low? Why hang so low? My, yo. Oh, Jesus. Grandma leaves. He goes back to the cell.

He's very confused. He doesn't understand what the hell happened there. Who the fuck was that? Yeah. Well, let's talk to a silver-haired middle-aged white man, see what they have to say about it. One of his coaches, he says, quote, he was a terrific kid. Good work ethic. Good sense of humor. Fit in well. I don't recall a dark side or a bad temper at all yeah just he's the greatest guy everyone says they didn't know much about his personal life but just what a great guy they

talk about her said she went home every day at lunch from work to start preparations for dinner theresa get dinner yeah to get dinner ready theresa because she's so goddamn awesome and a good family person wants her kids to eat a good fucking dinner, goddamn it. She doesn't want to stop at Taco Bell on the way home. Very active in her church. For her funeral service, more than 1,000 people came to the Calvary Baptist Church there. Yeah, that's crazy that people can't believe what happened. She was really beloved in the community.

That's fucking beautiful. She was well-known and loved, and yeah, it's nice. Too bad she got stabbed 88 fucking times. December 17th, 1980, pleads not guilty to murder. In court, they try to just say his confession came after an illegal arrest. They say once his handcuffs were on there and he was in the squad car at that point, they're calling it, from then, they're calling it like a de facto arrest. They're saying 19 hours of interrogation, 37 hours hours without sleep and 26 hours without food or drink uh he he just they said he

declined to videotape the interview which i would want to videotape everything from the police said he didn't want a lawyer at all uh police offered and they had in their notes about the how he was readily and regularly uh offered food and water and a lawyer and do you want to leave and everything and he always declined or videotaped do you want anything to this to happen and he said no i'm fine i'm just chilling here he was just trying to get out of it basically uh he said uh he thought his alibi was fucking wrapped up he thought he was like i'm straight i'm gonna slam dunk this one there's another thing that comes up later where one of the jurors, the defense never sought to remove a juror who's the uncle of a chief prosecutor of Monmouth County. Oh, shit.

He's him. But he said that he that wasn't revealed in the wadir of the juror. But he said basically that he could he was fine. He's not. You know, he can be impartial. The whole deal is it's not even that that they're a member of his family got arrested at one point and he didn't say so in his idea so they're trying to say that he's going to use that later to say that his lawyer was ineffective

because he didn't get that guy removed so really ticky tacky shit for that jesus he would just say that he's got an alibi don't know what you're talking about tough shit the state say that he's got an alibi, don't know what you're talking about, tough shit. The state says that he killed his wife, disposed of the physical evidence that would link him to the crime, and then called the cops. They said he went out, tossed the shit, came off, got off the parkway, paid the toll, bike still warm, came inside. Oh, no. That's his story, and they're saying he's full of shit. They also attacked his character by calling two different witnesses, a Gertise Davis and a Myra Thomas at trial to talk about his habitual womanizing and being just a generally untruthful person and especially untruthful to his wife and all that.

Now, as shitty as that is, and we know plenty of people like that. Doesn't make you a murderer. Doesn't make you a murderer to and all that. Now, as shitty as that is, and we know plenty of people like that. Doesn't make you a murderer. Doesn't make you a murderer to be doing that. I still think he killed the shit out of this woman. If their wife turned up dead, I wouldn't be surprised if they were arrested and suspected, for sure. Yeah. The defense says that they didn't establish his guilt.

They said that law enforcement rushed to judgment on him, to accuse him, which he's the one standing there. There was no forensic evidence for them to do. They failed to test Teresa's fingernail clippings for the DNA, which is actually a strategy, we'll talk about it

now because it'll come up later, a strategy for the defense to not have it done. Neither side wants it done. Really? No, because the for the defense to not have it done. And neither side wants it done. Really? No, because the defense, if the prosecutor gets it done and his DNA isn't under there, if it's just hers or something, it doesn't hurt them, but it doesn't help them. But if it comes up with somebody else's DNA, then they're completely fucked. The defense, on the other hand, they're like, what if it comes up his?

They'd rather keep it. So they're both like, this is a fucking little nuclear football. Let's not kick back and forth. Let's just leave that lay in there and we'll leave it alone, basically. So also, too, that they say there's no way that he could have committed the crime and removed the evidence in the time frame and all that sort of thing. That's his whole deal. I don't know. I think he figured out how to do it.

I really do. Sounds like he pulled it off, doesn't it? Yes. So that's the thing about those deals. He's saying that, you know, if you tested her fingernails, you could the killer could still be at large. He's out there killing other people. Defense also urged the jurors to consider the impact of many sleepless hours before he admitted to the to the killing. They kept bringing up the Twilight Zone thing like that's like an official term. It's not. He said, the defense attorney said, quote, the Twilight Zone is a place where, quote,

realities and dreams are distorted and strange and unusual circumstances happen at particular times. Is that the intro of the fucking show? I don't know, Rod Serling, but shut the fuck up about it because that is not what the guy was talking about. He just meant we were in an iffy place to where if he confessed, we don't know if we could use it. That's what the cop meant. He didn't mean that after 18 hours, magically, worlds start changing and people start shape-shifting.

And you see things outside the plane that aren't there. Yeah, there's a kid who can take the mouths off of all his family. That doesn't happen. It doesn't fucking happen. So it's ridiculous. The defense counsel also ordered a report addressing the impact of sleep deprivation and circumstances leading up to the incriminating statements, but they never called the expert as a witness because it's stupid.

Right. During the trial, during this all going on, her father, William Rodriguez Sr., called Terry, quote, a coward and a cold-blooded killer who is so self-centered that he continues to lie to his family and continues to cause them and us pain. Holy shit. He is pissed. Get him, Billy Rodriguez. That's right. He is not happy.

His mother, Terry's mother, Shirley, is pissed off, but she's pissed off for a different reason. She's pissed off because she spent her entire $50,000 retirement account on his lawyer and what she believes is, quote, third-rate lawyering. Wow. So she's like, I gave that motherfucker all my money and he sucks. Prosecutor, in summation, he said that he found it curious upon returning home to find his wife bludgeoned to death that he didn't do a thorough search of the home first. He has two children in that house.

Where are they at, bud? Where are they? Why don't you worry about their safety they're alive that's the thing right there where i said i don't give a shit about any of the other stuff yeah if you come in you see your wife dead you go oh my god your first thought is where the fuck are the kids are they okay absolutely run to those kids rooms you check on them and then you go back he didn't do any of that he knew they were okay she's dead let me call because i know because i killed her that's how i know i didn't kill the kids looking for a freaking gunshot yeah that's that's why are you looking for a gunshot when she's fucking made into hamburger you dick and the prosecutor said quote why doesn't he think there must be some horrible killer hiding in my house because he's

the horrible killer that's why he says which is pretty slick march 2000 20th, 2000, jury comes back and finds him guilty. Big fucking shocker there. Not shocking at all. Let's find an in their own words from sentencing in 2000. Okay. This is before he gets sentenced. This is what this asshole says. This is what he has to say.

Every time he's always had the right thing to say so far. Every quote we've ever had is the exact right thing. The team. This is not the right thing. In their own words, quote, if I'm guilty of anything, it's committing adultery, but not murder. What's really pathetic about this whole situation is the killer is still

out there. I'm innocent and God knows and the truth will be revealed. Nope. That's an OJ statement. Yeah, it is. That's horseshit. I need to go play golf and find him. Fucking bullshit. Yeah, I better go take a look. He said that he loved his wife. Her murder was a tragedy. He said the police

did this whole thing to railroad him. It's ridiculous. The judge on the other hand, Monmouth County Superior Court Judge Theodore Lebrecht Jr. He's a junior. He's having a strike back for all the juniors out there. He says this murder was committed in an especially heinous, cruel and depraved manner.

The victim, in essence, was slaughtered. He says you, sir, may fuck off. Sentences him to 60 years in prison, 30 without the possibility of parole. And yeah. Holy shit. He's fucked. So he's in there for at least 30 years and then he's got to serve like half of the yeah he's fucked basically he's in there till he's 80 if nothing else or he's

gonna die in there either one uh he's completely fucked in prison done and out and all this shit and it's so weird because fuck i mean what about these poor kids it's awful no parents now they live with the grandparents now now these, now they have two kids to take care of. We'll have to explain this tragedy to them. He's embarrassed everyone he's ever been in front of. I feel bad for all these people, Jimmy, but not nearly as bad. This is very Ray Carruth. Yes.

Except in the house. It's worse. And the other kids are okay. Yeah, it's Ray Carruth, but dumber. Right. Way worse. It's way worse. And the other kids are okay. Yeah, it's Ray Carruth, but dumber. Right. Way worse. It's way worse. Terry Underwood, an Australian author who wrote the book In the Middle of Nowhere about her living in the middle of nowhere and writing letters to people.

Looks boring as fuck. Four and a half stars on Amazon with only three reviews. So what the fuck does that do? Hardcover from 295 if you're really bored and interested. fuck does that do? Hardcover from 295 if you're really bored and interested. Terry Underwood, a theater extra in a filmed version of Hamlet and Hutch in 2017.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Hamlet and Hutch which I assume mixes Shakespeare and a grizzled veteran police detective as they patrol the streets of Bozeman, Montana. That's what I imagine that Broadway play is about. I don't know. Or it's somebody that it's a bad spinoff of Turner and Hooch.

That was my first, yeah. It's Hooch's. It's Hamlet and Hutch. Yeah. The low budget. It's Hooch's offspring. It's the Fox Family Channel's version of that, like the fucking Christian version of it. By the way, who the fuck is getting on IMDb with that?

That's his only credit. He's an extra. He doesn't even have a fucking line. Terry Underwood, professor in the education department at California State University, Sacramento. Rated 3.8 overall on RateMyProfessor.com with a 2.3 difficulty. He has some very nice reviews. Pretty easy A. They all say pretty easy A.

He's good. He's an easy grader. He's good stuff. Except for one person. One person's pissed. One person gives him a one-star rating of awful. They say, quote, class is super boring. It person's pissed. One person gives him a one star rating of awful. They say, quote, class is super boring. It's not helpful. If you asked a question, he went out of his way not to

answer it. He would just circle around it and change the subject. Doesn't even seem to have a grasp on how to run the class. And the big paper proposal we are supposed to write for this class would also try to change your topic. Take 250 with someone else. That's an ex-girlfriend. For sure. That's an ex. Terry Underwood, Mississippi Association of Independent Schools head football coach at the Silver Bay Academy. What? Yeah, Terry Underwood football. Page

one, motherfucker. Poor guy. Jesus Christ. Yeah. 2004, our Terry Underwood, the shit one, files for appeal and then pulls it back to get his legal ducks in a row. 2006, in April, he files for post-conviction relief, wants a new trial. He's talking all about how the fingernail clippings, you know, blah, blah, blah. They actually test the fingernail clippings.

What they find is basically the testing excluded him, but not Teresa or her fetus. So she didn't have DNA under her nails of him. She didn't scratch him because she could have been sleeping and he could have walked in and started beating the fuck out of her and stabbing her. Which at that point, I don't know how DNA would, she wouldn't barely have a chance to fight back. That's a man that knew his DNA wasn't under those nails. That's the thing. I want to know. Not by case that it was somebody else.

Just by case of, I know she didn't scratch me. We know she didn't scratch you, too, because your physique was amazing. You were downstairs with no scratches on you. None at all. Also, there's a psychiatrist's opinion about the sleep deprivation thing that they're trying to put in here. They think that the expert wasn't allowed to testify, that he should get the defense. The expert wasn't allowed to testify and that should be against him because that should

be entered. The jury would have thought differently. The judge said that the impacts of sleep deprivation and cognitive ability lack of falling apart are quote well known. We all know this shit. No one has to tell someone they've been up for a day.

You don't need a fucking- You'll feel it. You'll feel it. You'll say it. Yeah, you don't need an expert to tell you, he was pretty tired. That's not needed. Now, 2007, while this is going on, he's in New Jersey State Prison in Trenton. He's inmate number, ooh, 00936298B.

Jesus. That sucks right there. He's 41 years old at this point. He makes $2.25 a day for painting gray and white cinder blocks. Wow. And raising fences, too. Turning gray cinder blocks white. And then back to gray again just for something to do.

That's what they do here. That's amazing. You're just putting coats of paint on shit for no reason. He's in there. They're having, by the the way the 20th anniversary of the wagner national championship football team as this is going on in 2007 as he's in prison and filing appeals i know he says in their own words they got the wrong person but i know in my heart the truth will come out how much worse could it be i lost everything lost my family i've already done nine years for nothing but i am a survivor and I'm going to make it through. He's going to do that.

His sister says, quote, we continue our quest for justice every day. His other sister said, quote, trust me, if he was guilty, the family would say, we love you, but we're going to do it from a distance. That's pretty fucking. So they believe. They believe in him because, you know, he's always been a good guy. Before that, they keep his sister says that he's the one who gives me strength. He tells me every time we talk, the truth is coming. The truth is going to come out, blah, blah, blah.

They have their reunion, which he is obviously not there. And while that's happening, his appeal is fucking rejected. Wow. 2017, there's another appeal. This is his big one. This is proposed conviction relief. He wants a new trial. He has a number of points here.

He says that the court erred in not suppressing his statements. He's saying it was overbearing of his will for after 16 hours of questioning. He said that he was subjected to four and a half hours of uninterrupted questioning by police on that morning, which that was that was the thing that got suppressed. It was that area there. He says that the court, even regardless of the jury, regardless, he said that the court should have granted his motion for a judgment of acquittal from the judge because they can do a dismissal of that. A set aside a jury's verdict. And he says they should have done that because his uncorroborated admissions were the only direct evidence of guilt. So he said this is bullshit.

He also talks about that juror who's just, that's just too much to even get into. It's silly and stupid and has no merit basically here. And for obviously ineffective assistance of counsel is this whole thing for not getting all of this done. The law here for ineffective assistance, they must demonstrate that the deficient performance and resulting prejudice came from that. He must identify specific acts or omissions that are outside of the wide range of reasonable professional assistance. So a lawyer has to have some leeway and strategy. You know what I mean? You wouldn't tell a football coach, you know, that was an egregious thing because you threw to that receiver instead of that receiver. You'd tell him that if you told the quarterback to take the snap, turn around, and kick it through the other fucking field goal.

That was an odd strategy. That's ineffective assistance of counsel. Not he ran instead of passed. That's a strategy decision. That's fine. I don't think people get that. They just think, my lawyer didn't do exactly what i thought that would have won right so because i went to law school and you know i passed the bar and i know the shit through instead of handing off to marshawn lynch at the three exactly that's just that's just a bad choice

fucking yeah exactly that's a judgment call which is fine they didn't punt no exactly uh the judge here ends up affirming uh tons of this shit uh talking about the dna it wasn't that's not an effective assistance of counsel it's actually a really good strategy by the defense not to test the dna blah blah blah that whole thing uh terry says about the jury selection here quote this is amazing during selection i asked my attorney to strike juror number 735 because he was the uncle of the county prosecutor. During the jury selection, there were conversations regarding jurors

to which I was not privy. Well, yeah, you're not the lawyer. When my attorney returned to the counsel table, he told me that juror number 735 would not have a problem being impartial. I again requested that he be stricken, but my attorney refused. Yes, because he had a strategy

because he didn't want to use his strike in a place where he didn't think it was necessary. Those strikes are like gold. And if you had somebody who comes up and says, yeah, I'm a fucking, you know, I'm in the Klan and I just hate fucking blacks who kill their Puerto Rican wives. You might have had someone that you needed to strike at that point. I have a Puerto Rican wife that's six months pregnant right now. Exactly. I hate black guys. And I hate, exactly. So hate exactly so it's fucking ridiculous if somebody could isolate that that's again thank god i'm never running for office i'm gonna isolate that and make it a ringtone i think that's

tremendous here i have a puerto rican wife that's six months pregnant and i hate black guys that's fucking amazing here he says it you know if if anything, the only thing that they could possibly do was manslaughter. This is ridiculous for murder. He says the manslaughter, he wants a passion provocation manslaughter plea, basically. The provocation must be adequate. The defendant must not have had time to cool off between the provocation and the slaying. Provocation must have actually impassioned the defendant, and he must have

actually not cooled down before the slaying. So what are they trying to do? He's trying to get it to manslaughter, saying maybe it was a crime of passion. Okay, so they're trying to use crime of passion as a defense here. The court's saying, basically, you have to run up to somebody and be like, I just cut your mother's throat right now, motherfucker.

Then they can attack you and it's okay. But if they step away and turn around and come back, then they can't attack you because they've thought about it. So the way that goes, he is denied PCR, which is post-conviction relief. He's denied a new trial. And on May 2, 2017, his appeals are all denied for anything and everything. I've been waiting to do this story to hear how it came out with the appeal and it finally is done. Thank God. So here we go. Terry Underwood

can't get enough of Terry Underwood. Tough shit because there's nothing of him. But you can get the ex-Phillies Yankees relief pitcher Tom Underwood's autograph online on a ball for $163.99 with free shipping. He did nothing wrong, and he's currently passed away as well.

And his autograph is cheap? It's $163. He's dead. But there's an autographed 8x10. That's on a ball. On an 8x10, $23.99 if you want that. There are no more of those. Those aren't happening anymore.

No, not happening. Go get that, even though you've never heard of him, and he just sounds like a murderer. Or you can get a Carrie Underwood autograph for about $40. So there's that also. You can have that. Or, if you want, just in case. I love cracking me up on stupid shit like planned gags like this. Fucking Gary Underwood.

Or you can get a Frank Underwood. Ah, Jesus. Frank Underwood, anytime you fucking want, because Kevin Spacey isn't very busy these days, so you can track him down. He'll probably give you a nice autograph on that. He'll probably autograph your cock for you for free. I'm sure he would, especially if you're a younger gentleman there. That is Terry Underwood. That is a story a younger gentleman there. That is Terry Underwood.

That is a story of a bad, bad thing. Fucking Terry Underwood. Jesus. That's a story of a bad thing. 40 bucks, that's it? 40 bucks. That's a deal. You get them even cheaper.

She must be peppering them out, though. Ah, they're everywhere, probably. I'll bet she's in a hot air balloon just throwing them out. She's hired some middle-aged lady to just silver sharpie and a gold glittery sharpie marker 4,000 pictures at a time. That's amazing. Send those out, will you, hon?

All right. So that is Terry Underwood. Not Carrie, not Frank, and not Tom. Terry Underwood. What a fucking disaster of a story. My God. Honestly, I feel the worst for his kids. No matter-

I just can't imagine, man. I feel like he did it. I'm 99% sure that he did it here. I feel like- I mean, the 99 sure that he did it here uh i feel like the court's pretty goddamn certain yeah i feel like yeah the court's pretty certain no one could butcher that woman and then get out of the house without tracking blood all over the house yeah number one yeah they'd have to be have their shit planned out yeah like he was when she was sleeping and he said i'm gonna go in and beat her and stab her i better bring a garbage bag with me for my

clothes that's how i feel like this went down. Or there's a shower upstairs and you can clean up real easy. That's the other thing. In his testimony, he said he had took a shower a couple hours earlier. So that shower timeline can get moved around. How about we lumen all the fuck out of that shower? You know what I mean? That's the thing.

There's just so many. It's crazy, man. So that is Terry Underwood. That's a crazy story that just is heartbreaking, to be honest with you. It's depressing. If you enjoyed that story, you sick bastards, what you can do to help us out is you can get on iTunes. You can give us five stars. Tell us your following instructions, following directions.

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Crimeandsports at gmail.com and facebook.com slash what? You guessed it. Crime and Sports. Everywhere. Jimmy, why don't you tell us an amazing list of our favorite people in the world, non-sexual hug recipients. There we go. Who you got, Jimmy? This week was incredible yet again. Just the amount of support.

Because listen, we're not kidding when we say you guys are supporting this. We are. It's really been incredible to watch this grow and grow organically. Because you don't want to just blast an ad out on Facebook or whatever. Because then you're getting the wrong people to listen to your show. And they're going to hate it. And the best part of this is watching it grow organically and have people that enjoy it tell their friends, and they enjoy it.

That's right, 100%. So thank you guys so, so much. Chrissy Ann Castaldi and Jess Landgren, again, just like every goddamn week. You guys are the best, honestly. Being amazing people. Rodney Horn. So great. Brianna Ryan up in Montana.

She listens. She's terrific. She's the one who asked us to come to Bozeman? I think so. Yes. Honestly, Montana's great. We asked us to come to Bozeman? I think so. Yes. Honestly, Montana's great. We'd love to go to Montana. If you can get three quarters of the town in a building, then we'll be there. We're there.

I don't think we have that many listeners to fill a room, but we would love to if we could get them. She sent me an apron, too, for Gusich. First name. Evangelos. Evangelos Gusich. Yeah, I got a t-shirt. Was that the one she sent me? Yes. Yes, that's so cool. Thank you. Gabrielle Ornelli, Dana Grayson

sent some cash, both through PayPal. Thanks, Dana. That's awesome, man. Thank you. It's incredible. And he's got a cousin or an uncle. I can't remember which Clem that's supposed to listen, but I don't know if he's listening or not. Listen, Clem. Do your shit together. If he's not listening, we're calling Clem a piece of shit for no reason. Get the shit out of your ears, Clem.

And then we have John Taylor, Nicholas Lamyorski, Daniel Mates, Kimberly Blevins, Stephanie Pitaway, Molly Parker, Sherry Holland, Trisha. No, that's not Trisha. That is Trisha O'Dell. More likely. Most likely, yeah. What the fuck? Timothy Smith. He's in Australia, by the way.

Oh, cool. And he sent a really nice email to me. So thanks, Tim. Oh, cool. And he sent a really nice email to me. So thanks, Tim. Thanks, Tim. Kasten Johnson. Holly Faith Pratt. Madison O'Toole. Nicholas.

No, it's Nicole. Jesus. Fuck, I did that. You did that on Small Town Murder, too. I did. That is twice now. I'm so sorry, Nicole. You've had two shots at that today.

Nicole Ramos. Swing and a miss. It's because of that S at the end. Yeah. Heather Cotton. Jeffrey Geiler. Stacey Lanktot. Eden's Edibles is in New South Wales.

So if you like vegetables in New South Wales, find Eden's Edibles and they will take care of you. Laura Blakeslee, she's the one that's in Kansas City trying to get us to the KC Improv. Hey, great. We'd love to be there, man. We're into it. Jordan Nevarez, Michelle Barkey. No, what is that? Damn it.

I wrote like an asshole oh it's Barry Michelle Barry that's what it is Melissa Schmaltz Amanda Amanda Haga Brooke that's it Haga Brooke Meg Dainty over there on Snapchat thank you Meg Nick

Laycock take it easy with Laycock don't tell ladies that on the first date no please don't God for your own good. Lay low. Give that one a second date burn. Yeah. Kate Sylvia, Lucas Wesolowski. Yes, I nailed it.

Wesolowski. That was pretty good, Jimmy. I'm impressed with myself. Mary Fouse or Foose? I think it's Fouse. Either way, thank you so much, Mary. She's been donating several times. Thank you, Mary.

That's amazing. Andrew Sussman. So many of you like that. Andrew Sussman, too. Isn't like that. Andrew Sussman, too. Isn't it incredible? Andrew Sussman, Hannah Edinger over in the UK. Hannah's awesome. We love Hannah.

Thank you so much, Hannah. We love us some Hannah. You're the shit, Hannah. Thank you. In America, that's a good thing if you're the shit. I don't know if in England if that means. In England, I don't know. You're like, why am I the shits?

Don't call me the shits. Don't call me the shits. I'm not the shits. You're a nice woman. I'm a wonderful person. She's a very good person. She is. We love her. We love her. Thank you. you love you hannah thank you uh aaron how how whoreton

howerton i think i think that's an o fuck aaron i'm so sorry uh ron cox alexandra likert uh kelly schulte or schulte uh amanda medema me dema my dema i'm not sure allison themelets or timelets i think it's theme. I'm not going to say it's got to be because I'm always wrong. She knows who she is. Kika. There's no last name. Just Kika.

Taylor Moore. I almost said Taylor Moore. What the fuck am I doing? Kika sounds like an Asian porn star, by the way, from the late 90s. I hope she is one. Like a specialty one? Yeah, she better be. Like weird boobs or something special?

Like giant crazy ones. She's got great boobs. I'm sure of it. Novelty like crazy like quadruple Texas. Like she goes with candy cantaloupes or some shit. Yeah, exactly. Something ridiculous. She's just Kika, which means like Asian mountains in whatever the fuck language or some shit. Sorry, Kika.

God, we're assholes. There's an amazing Asian mountain range named the Kikas. We can't help saying this shit. Do you understand? We just can't help saying stuff. Bridget Bernard, Miguel Alvarez, Captain Surly, Gage Runkle, Nicole Dempsey-Flores, Linda Pross sent some DQ gift cards. Thank you, Linda. Delicious. Brittany Duran, or Doran, I'm not sure.

Kim Baker, Andrea Jones, Angela Haltom, Sarah Grace Love, Brandon Shepard, Austin D'Artes, I think that's what I wrote. Fuck, I can't tell now. It can't be right. It's a terrible, terrible writing. I write like an asshole. Matt Winland, Lindsey Callan, Susanna Diaz, that's it. Ellie Seeley.

Brittany, Kayla, and Katie are at Timberline Manufacturing in Marion, Iowa. Thank you all for listening. I appreciate it. Hey, hello, everybody. Sarah B. Coley. Marcelino Felipe. Oh, Felipe. That's definitely true.

Yeah, I like that. Julia Miller. Tracy Polvoget. It's Polvoget, right? It's Polvoget. Polvoget? Probably. Okay.

Lauren Templin, Stephen Lux, Peter Goik, Phil Adams, Aaron Olivia. That's right, Aaron Olivia. Antonio Chavez, Rachel Timmons, Debbie Way, Marie O'Connor. Two Worst Dudes Podcast. I haven't heard it yet. No, I haven't listened to it. I know that they've shouted us out before. Yeah, thanks, guys.

Hey, listen to those guys. Check them out. They've been us out before. Yeah, thanks, guys. Hey, listen to those guys. Check them out. They've been good to us. Joseph Hedgeplick, Kelly Ruiz, Laura Steele, and Helen Deacon, who sent me an amazing apron. Thank you all so much for being so rad. It's really – we can't do this without you. It's impossible to really say that and not mean it. So thank you guys all for listening. It's grown to the

point where it's really big now. There's a lot of people listening. I'm really big or whatever, but there's a lot of people listening and it's weird because it still feels like a very small thing with a very small little group of these family listeners. And that's how we feel about all of you. Every single one of you. So honestly

that's how we feel about this whole thing. You guys are just made a new life for us, honestly, guys. So thank you guys so much for everything you've done. Keep doing shit like buying merch and tweeting at clubs and all that good stuff for us. Tell them they want us here, that you want them. You want us to be there. Damn it, that's what you want.

I can get that out. It's been a long day of recording. This is hour four and a half here of recording. But my question to you, Jimmy, is what if one of these people wanted to get a hold of someone like you? If I can get that out. It's been a long day of recording. This is our four and a half year of recording. But my question to you, Jimmy, is what if one of these people wanted to get a hold of someone like you? They could if they wanted to. How? If they care, they can find me at Wisman Sucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks, on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. Follow along and play along.

I can't tell you guys what it means to me to hear from you and hear nice things. Tell me shit things, too. I don't care. And I am at Jimmy P is funny, or you can try to spell my last name. Good luck. There's an I in there. Try to find it or just copy and paste it from the show description. Best idea.

Like a smart person. Thank you guys so much for everything you tweet and talk to me about. If I don't get back to people right away or something like that, honestly. We're doing our best. I get in a research hole where I'm researching and I can't do that for a couple days. And then when I look at it, I'm three days behind it. It's a fucking mess and I apologize and I read every

damn thing. I don't just go through and like shit just with my name in it. I actually read everything and I try to answer everything I can and I appreciate, I feel it and I thank you guys. We feel it and we love it and thank you very much and that's about all for this week so one last

thing here live from the crime and sports studios we will see you next week bye hey prime members you can listen to crime and Sports early and ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.