Crime in Sports - #99 - Lesson Never Learned - The Punchiness of Joey Barton

Episode Date: December 26, 2017

This week, we once again head down lunacy lane with a man with quite a temper, and no real remorse for it. He fights everyone, from team mates, to coaches, to referees, to teenage fans. He uses his fists, or whatever is handy to him, including a lit cigar. By the way, there's an ax murder mixed into this story, as well. It's an absolutely wild story!!Drink until you stumble through the streets, take a swing at every teenager you see, and gamble your way out of the sport with Joey Barton!Check us out, every Tuesday. We will continue to bring you the biggest idiots in sports history!Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie WhismanDonate at...patreon.com/crimeinsports or with paypal.com using our email: [e-mail] all the CIS & STM merch at crimeinsports.threadless.comFor Tickets To Upcoming Live Shows...BOSTON: Feb 18 Crime In Sports: https://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1589056?_ga=2.84751449.1576137293.1510029131-53581790.1510029128&__utma=1.876925325.1510029128.1510029128.1510029128.1&__utmb=1.2.10.1510029128&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1510029128.1.1.utmcsr=yahoo|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=-&__utmk=255437192Small Town Murderhttps://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1589061?_ga=2.53771112.1576137293.1510029131-53581790.1510029128&__utma=1.876925325.1510029128.1510029128.1510029128.1&__utmb=1.2.10.1510029128&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1510029128.1.1.utmcsr=yahoo|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=(not%20provided)&__utmv=-&__utmk=255437192DETROIT:Feb 16 Stand Up Show w/ Dan Cumminshttps://www.ticketweb.com/event/dan-cummins-james-pietragallo-the-magic-bag-tickets/7823825?pl=magicbagCheck out or site: truecrimecomedyteam.comAll web support by Web and Writerwebandwriter.com or Facebook.com/webandwriterContact us on...twitter.com/[e-mail]/Crimeinsportsinstagram.com/crimeinsports   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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A first listen is waiting for you when you start your free trial at audible.ca. The Queen of the Courtroom is back. How did I know that? i have crystal ball in my head new cases leave her a long so uh this is not a so this is a period classic judy it's streaming you can say anything it's an all-new season judy justice only on freebie Hello and welcome to Crime and Sports. Yay! Yay indeed. My name is James Petrigallo.

I'm here with my co-host. I am Jimmy Wissman. Thank you folks so much for joining us again on another exciting edition of Crime and Sports. We're excited to be pumped to be back in the studio this week in a controlled environment, although the live show was about as much fun as you could ask for. controlled environment, although the live show was about as much fun as you could ask for. We'll talk about it after we get done with our, what do we want to call them here? Our luminary of the week.

Try to give them a different name every week. I'm running out of them at this point of sarcastic names to give these people. Somebody actually tweeted and said, you know, you really shouldn't call them gentlemen because they're not. I think that's sarcastic a little bit. I think maybe it's sarcastic. Definitely. I hope they were being sarcastic, maybe. But I was like, it's sarcasm.

Yeah. Anything we say positive is we're joking. Definitely. We'll talk about the Chicago live show. And what a great time we had after the show, though. A couple of reminders here. Crimeinsports.threadless.com is where you get all of your crime and sports gear. Yes.

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That's what I've heard. Yeah. Somebody had a shirt that didn't fit right. It was a large, but it ran more medium. And they were like, tell you what. You keep that one. We'll send you a bigger size, too. That's what I've heard. Yeah. Somebody had a shirt that didn't fit right. It was a large, but it ran more medium. And they were like, tell you what, you keep that one. We'll send you a bigger size, too. It's amazing. That's how nice they are. So don't worry about that.

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We quit. We're good. What we were doing before is just fine. Carry on. Never mind. Just forget the last week ever happened. Right. So they're back to normal now, so it's okay to donate there.

Also, if you want to just do a one-time donation, you can do that no problem over at PayPal. Right. We love that, and every dime is so appreciated. Just use our email address, crimeandsports at gmail.com to do that. And finally also, I'm going to bring back a little something fun. Myself and Sarah, my wife, we did a podcast called PS I Hate This Movie. We just didn't have time to do it anymore, so we stopped a while back. We are reconstituting that in the new year. So that'll be out sometime in the next

couple weeks. We'll be doing that again. We make fun of bad romantic comedies. It's a lot of ranting from me. It's a lot of my anger of what the fuck is going on in this bullshit. If you like me angry at things that really don't need to be that angry at, that's the show for you. And Sarah's

very funny too, so check that out. But besides all that, Jimmy, never mind all of that. Yeah. First of all, Edwin Valero last week. What the shit? That's a crazy story. It's stupid. That's a story I've been saving for.

For a live show like that? We're almost two years into it. Yeah. And that's one where I found week three. Wow. I was like, oh, God, this story's amazing. Yeah. And I've just held on to it.

It for sure is. I kept it in a little box. I fed it nice every day. I think people recommended it to us, too, a few times. They did. They did. But it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. We know.

We got him. Don't worry. He's in a little box feeding him little pieces of raw meat. You know what I mean? Just putting it through the cage. That's what I've been doing with that story. And then the live show came up, and I'm like, that's the guy. That's our man.

That's our man. That's our man. That's our idiot. Because with the live shows, we do visuals too. And you could see his craziness and all that sort of thing. You see his craziness develop. You could see it develop. You can see, it's fun. So anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed Edwin Valero.

And even if you didn't listen to the live show, because some people don't like live shows, it was a regular episode. Just happened to have, besides just Jimmy giggling, there was an audience full of people. Giggling at the same time. Giggling at the same time as us, which was really cool. Other than that, it was a regular episode. If you didn't listen, you fucked up bad. It was actually a really good episode, too.

It was one of the better ones. So let's get to our crazy son of a bitch this week. And boy, is he a weirdo, this guy. Let's get to our crazy son of a bitch this week. Boy, is he a weirdo, this guy. Sometimes we do like, most of the time we play asshole or idiot. That's kind of our game. Is this guy more of an asshole or is he more of just an idiot?

You know what I mean? This guy definitely leaning on the asshole side. He's just an asshole. He just keeps fucking up. He's smarter than he, he acts dumber than he should act. Okay. He's smarter than he acts, I guess is the way, the best way to put it. I suppose.

He's an idiot. Uh, Joseph Anthony Barton, better known as Joey Barton. You ever heard of this guy? That sounds familiar. He's a British soccer player. No, I don't. I know you don't know. You're like, that sounds familiar, but I don't think it does. You said Joey Barton.

I pictured a big black guy, like a defensive end or something. No, no, no. No, no. He's a lily white fucking sucker. He's a 5'9 white British man who plays soccer. I have no fucking idea who he is. This is the opposite of what you were. You were picturing like an offensive lineman for the Raiders coming off the field sweaty. I was going with Jets or some shit like that.

Yeah, you played it. I see the name Barton. Played at the University of Arkansas. You know, one of those guys. NSU. It's Arkansas bread written across his belly. No, no, no. Not this guy.

This is a small white soccer man. Totally different here. The craziness here started all the way back on September 2nd, 1982. He's born in Hyten in Myersdale. It's in Liverpool, outskirts of Liverpool. And it's a shithole from what I understand. Now, I'm not from there. By the way, as we always do, because this is a soccer player in another country.

These are two things we don't know a shit about. So we're doing our best, and we ask always that you find our ignorance charming. That's it. None of it's on purpose. We tried our fucking best. Okay. Matter of fact, in Chicago in the hotel room, I was watching soccer at fucking like nine in the morning and I watched it until like probably two. I mean, I watched one fucking match.

So you're an expert and now you're ready to go. So in other words, please find our ignorance charming. Call me Landon Donovan. I know everything about soccer. We're so ignorant about it that Jimmy's saying he's not ignorant because he watched a match one time. One match. That's how ignorant we are. But what I did take out of it is that Manchester City is fucking great.

Really? They are so good. That's interesting because we're going to talk plenty about Manchester City today. Oh, my God. They were so good. Not Manchester United, Manchester City. Manchester City. Cool jersey, by the way. They do have cool jerseys. Baby blue and white. They were so good. Not Manchester United, Manchester City. Manchester City. Cool jersey, by the way.

They do have cool jerseys. Baby blue and white. So kick-ass. Classics. They're classics. They do look pretty solid. A lot of those jerseys look pretty damn cool over there. But this is outskirts.

This heighten is outskirts of Liverpool. It is called statistically the third most deprived area in uh in this little area that they judge by it's a deprived meaning shitty yeah if you're from the states meaning uh poor and shitty yeah picture newark and this is what you got here uh it's mostly built in the 1970s uh basically what seems like from what i read is liverpool liverpool had a shitload of like slums and projects yeah and so they just cleared everybody out of there and stuck them here instead. They were like, well, this is better.

But now it's, I'm sure it was for the first couple of years. Heightened, and now it's not better. Now it's shitty too, because you took shit people and you moved into another area. That's going to be another shit area. You take shit people and put them anywhere. It's going to be shit eventually. It's going to be shit eventually.

And mass. You can move shit people that are are trying but if you have a whole group of shit people and you move them that you're just a herd of shit yeah that's all that's what it is everywhere shit yeah you're moving you're moving a herd of shit across the range yeah what are we doing we're bringing in a shit bringing in a shit herd everybody so uh yeah it's apparently there was factories that eventually closed and then then everything went to shit, as it often does. And it sounds like, you know, any American town, honestly. It sounds like Pittsburgh or something.

Pittsburgh's getting better now, but they've reconstituted themselves. 70s and 80s, Pittsburgh wasn't—fucking Allentown was a song. Billy Joel wrote a goddamn song about how shitty that fucking place was. So, you know what I'm saying? This is... Picture that. Picture Allentown playing in the background. Have you ever tried to rinse... You keep talking and I'll just hum Allentown over. Have you ever tried to rinse

steel out of somewhere? That's the problem. That whole town is just all black soot shit and you're not going to rinse that out. You've got to get some soap in there. That's right. Scrub away. It's happening, man.

This is it right here. So this is what we're dealing with here. Now, the heightened area is about 33,000 people in population. It's really tough, though. They say that the schools are failing around there. There's drugs and crime everywhere. For, like, young men, the unemployment rate is 25 percent. Holy shit.

For young men, which is not terrific. No. This sounds like literally Newark is what this sounds like. This also here, the heightened, the borough of, I think it's Knowsley it's called. I'm sure I'm saying it wrong. Noselly or something. Don't care. It's Knowsley.

Knowsley, which is where heighten is, was named in the top worst areas to live in Britain. Top worst areas. Top ten worst areas to live in the entire country. I don't know if that's the entire kingdom or whatever. That includes like, you know, shitty. Scotland and stuff. My entire country. I don't know if that's the entire kingdom or whatever. That includes like, you know, shitty. Scotland and stuff. I'm talking like, you know, long.

Everything. Everything they've owned. Colonies. Everything. Who's the top ten? Top ten. This is the one right here. Of course, I guess you don't colonize shitholes probably usually for the most part. They at least have something. right here. Of course, I guess you don't colonize shitholes probably usually for the most part. I mean, when you send shitheads

to one area, that's kind of colonizing it to a shithole, isn't it? That's kind of a good point. Shittitizing it? Yes, you are. It's a shitjection. It's an injection of shit. You're pouring it in there. It's like what people do with the turkey and they

shove butter in it with one of those big thick syringes. But it's shit. This is shit. It's a thicker syringe. Much thicker syringe. The needle, the opening is a little fatter, too. That's what I'm talking about. The opening, you know, it's the size of a nickel. You can push some good, really pump some shit through it, you know what I mean?

Really shove it in there. The size of a nickel. You want to fire it right into the vein. Now, Barton here has three brothers. He's the oldest of four. And his family life is, and we'll talk about it, has some serious strife to it. Including his younger

brother that we'll talk about who has the most strife of anyone in this goddamn story. But yeah, his parents separate when he's about 14 years old. He stays with his dad. And they stay with his grandmother 14 years old. Yeah. He stays with his dad. Okay. And they stay with his grandmother, his father's mother. Okay.

Okay. He stays with his dad and he said that, you know, that was a big deal for him. His dad was a real steady guy and like was kind of strict and kept him on the right path. And his grandmother was too. His grandmother didn't fuck around. Okay. His grandmother was like a British lady, said get your shit together and said things very things very sternly in a polite manner. That's how I figure his grandmother was. This was in a different area from where he lived. This was in a, quote, different estate, as he called it. The estates

are projects from what I've gathered here. That's the project. So it's kind of like on the wire. They blew up the 221 building. You know what I'm saying? They blow up the 221 building, and everybody's got to go to another building. And that's what it is here. And this is kind of the same thing. He got taken out of that project and got taken to a nicer place. Kind of like when Wallace went to live with his grandmother down in Maryland. But it didn't quite work out because of the crickets and all that.

And they had like these weird payphone boxes in the middle of the street in the woods, which I didn't understand. But that's a whole other separate area. The crickets he couldn't deal with? Couldn't deal with the crickets, man. He's like, man, they be loud and shit, man. He was like complaining. He's like, man, that's all I could hear. That's it.

It's fucking weird. So anyway, this is what he does. He moves from project to project. This is a better project. He has trouble. His whole family's trouble. When he's a young guy, he was a teenager. His uncle Joe was murdered, which is tough.

his uncle Joe was murdered, which is tough. Another time, he had another uncle named Edward who survived like a horrible attack, physical attack, while he was at a betting shop in Hyten. A betting shop, I assume, is like an OTB or something.

He's going in to drop a couple hundred on the ponies. And somebody beat him severely and left him unconscious in a pool of blood on the floor of this place. Like a bookies. Like a bookies. Like an OTB or something. You know your life. It's time to take stock.

Yeah, you're hitting some skids. You wake up in a pool of your own blood on an OTB floor. It's time to take stock. You go, what the fuck? What happened to me? What is going on with me? Where did I go wrong? Where did I go wrong where did

i go wrong uh so it was tough so yeah generally the whole family's kind of kind of has some problems it seems like his dad is the only one that kind of has his shit together but then his dad's kind of a fucking nut too as we'll talk about in a minute here uh yeah his dad's a little bit of a nut but a nut that's at least down for his kids. Functioning. At least a functioning nut, I guess, but still like a kind of a psychopath. And it really translates to Barton's later life, to Joey's later life. Yeah.

You can see like, oh, maybe that's where he got it from. He says, Barton says that his grandfather or his grandmother's influence is what kept him from getting caught up in the whole just the whole street culture you know he says just like drinking and getting into drugs and you know street crime and stupid shit like that and he said his father had a very very good work ethic and always taught him that you know you needed to work every day and you need to put your time in and you know you need to work hard and that sort of thing and this benefits him athletically because he has to work hard he's not a big guy sure he benefits him athletically because he has to work hard. He's not a big guy. He's only 5'9".

He's a little shit, and he'll be told he's too small at times and things like that. Every fucking day. Yeah, he's going to do things. Well, let's find out. Let's catch up with Joey here. But then in their own words on the subject, let's see here. In their own words, quote, When I was 14 and my mom and dad split, which forced me to move off the St. John's estate, I went with my dad, who I was close to, to live at my nan's, who was about a mile from there.

It weaned me off life on the estate. When your parents first split up, your world crashes down around you because they're the center of your life. But when I look back at it now, it was a blessing in disguise. I know that sounds selfish, but if I stayed on the estate, I could have got caught up in more trouble. Okay. So he sees it as a blessing in disguise i know that sounds i know that sounds selfish but if i stayed on the estate i could have got caught up in more trouble okay so he sees it as a positive yeah thing which is it's good he didn't say he didn't lash out right he didn't say all my parents broke up now i'm gonna that's an excuse now i can act like an asshole which is helpful yeah now his father by the way uh just to guess what his father's name is. Oh, no. Is it Joey Barton?

It's Joey Barton. Of course. It's Joey Barton. But I could not get confirmation if the middle names are the same. But close enough for right now. May as well be. Fucking junior. And he exhibits junior behavior. You know what?

If he acted differently, I'd let him slide. Yeah. But the fact that he acts like a junior, he's a fucking junior. And the fact that his dad is kind of a nut, too. Yeah, yeah. That's fucking just leaning more credence to the argument that you name your kid Junior and he plays sports. He's going to be a fuck-up. He's going to be a fucking idiot.

And his actions are pointing to the evidence that this is true. So his actions say they have the same middle name. We'll put it that way. We can tell. His father's a roofer, which I don't know how that is in the UK. I can't imagine it's great. It's always soggy. It's true, but it's raining constantly.

Roofers probably get great work over there because it's constantly fucking raining. Also, too, we don't get sun like here, so maybe it's better to be a roofer. Maybe. If you're a roofer in the UK, let us know if it's better to be a roofer. How's your job? Because roofing here sucks. Nobody here wants to be a roofer. It's fucking miserable.

I get it if you're a roofer, you got to pay your bills. But nobody is like, you know, I really want to be a roofer someday. Like, that's never been said by a child. You know how that kid in sixth grade always goes, I'm going to be a vet. There's never that kid next to him going, I'm going to be a roofer. I see that, Hot Mop. I see it. I see it.

I see myself up there. I want a nail gun for my birthday. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this shit. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. No, that doesn't happen. see that hot mop i see it i see it i see myself up there i want a nail gun for my birthday i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this shit yeah let's do it yeah no that doesn't happen so uh his father also played semi-professional soccer oh or football here his father actually was like a failed soccer player also so he's got athletic stock i guess you could say his father played for northwich victoria okay which uh the only uh i don't know what that is as far i know that i don't know where that is it's in cheshire uh cheshire cheshire

cheshire yeah but it's right there you know how it is and then they say cheshire cat so fuck some people it was anyway that's who was playing uh manchester city by the way was tottenham yeah and they're thugs yeah fucking awful Fucking awful dickheads. Go on. That's great. Well this this was the Norwich Norwich Victoria Football Club here. God it's so English. Played their home games at Towns at Townfield home of Barnton. What.

The current club participates in the Northwest Counties League Premier Division at the ninth tier of English Premier for English Football League system, having been demoted from the Northern Premier League at the end of the 2016-17. So we're talking it's a low level. Premier League, if you're not into science, this could be totally wrong, but we've figured this part out. There's Premier League. That's the number one league. And then there's championship leagues after that.

And then there's all these different leagues. Yeah, like minor leagues. And if you fuck up and suck, you get dropped down to the next league, and if you're really good, you can get bumped up to the next league. So you can start out at one and end up at nine. That's the thing. Or you can start out at nine and theoretically end up at one, which is goddamn pretty cool, actually. It's impressive.

It's very cool, and that's kind of an American thing, and the Brits have figured that out with soccer. We don't do that with our sports. No matter how many years in a row they suck, the goddamn Jaguars are always a team. They're always in the same league. They're making the playoffs this year, though, the Browns.

The Browns. The Jaguars suck for so long. They're not out there in the fucking woods yet. You don't make the playoffs one year, and you're off the shit list, assholes. Fuck you. So I get you built your defense back up. That's fine and dandy. Get back to your shit pile.

Get back to Jacksonville, pal. All right. So. With how many leagues there are of soccer, there's got to be, fuck, there's probably six, 700 teams, right? There's so many teams. Yeah, there's so many teams. And as we've gone over to like that, that's the sport. But if you go from how many leagues there are, multiply that and get to how many teams there are.

Multiply that by how many players are on each team. And then they have their under is does. No wonder. No wonder everybody in England is into soccer. They all have to fucking play. There are thousands and thousands of soccer jobs. You have to play to keep all that shit going. There's a lot of people that can get paid to play soccer for a living, which is really interesting here.

When he's a kid, this is pretty interesting here. This is in a St. John's estate. This is after he moved here. OK. A dog attacked him, I guess. And he says, Barton says that the doctors are worried about him losing an eye. And they decided that he needed minor plastic surgery on his nose. His fucking face,

his face, a dog, but his face, it happens. Uh, he says, quote, wow.

Dad was tracked down to the local pub because he was at the pub where he borrowed a mate's van and headed toward the playground. He was enraged to the, to discover that the dog was still off the leash. Dad drove through the gates, ran it down and reversed over it to ensure it was dead. Wow. That is fucking crazy.

Then he leaped out to confront the panic-stricken owner, who lived nearby, and saved himself from a beating by apologizing profusely. The father then said, fuck off back to your house, is what he told him. So he drove through somebody's fucking yard. He drove through the gate of the playground with his van and then ran over the dog several times. Reverse ran over to get an owner and said, fuck off back to your house. Who is apologizing? I'm apologizing for you killing my dog right now. Fuck off back to your house.

OK, I'll leave my dog corpse here. I'll. Fuck off back to your house. Okay, I'll leave my dog corpse here and I'll go fuck off back to my house. Okay, like that's the type of, that tells you what kind of guy his dad was. Number one, that would do that. And number two, that somebody wouldn't be like, hey, fuck you, you just ran over my dog. They'd be like, okay, I'll fuck off back to my house.

He just ran his dog, not just ran it over. Over and over. Reversed and said just to make sure. Hey, you know, I made sure he's fucking dead. So, yeah, that's the type of deal that that's a type. That's his role model. So, I mean, solid dude. He's down for his son, but we that's not we don't want that.

That's not a good example. I don't know. To drive your van through gates, run over a dog and threaten to beat a man in the street isn't the example you really want to set for yourself. It is if you want him to turn out like this, like we're about to find out. That's something that I would probably do minus the reverse back over it. That's crazy. That's what I mean. I don't know where the line is there, but he crossed it somewhere.

Also, I'd be kind of scared that I'd run over the wrong dog because I'm a fuck-up. The wrong dog, a person a fucking dog. A person. Somebody. Somebody's child. You're driving at a... There's a gate up for a reason so you don't drive in the playground. He left a pub and borrowed a friend's, a mate's van. So he's drunk. He did that in somebody else's

car. That's the other thing and he's not worried about what that guy has to say about it. He's going to get back, show up with the van and the guy's going to be like, what the fuck did you do to my van? He's going to be like, fuck off back to your house mate. He's going to get back, show up with the van, and the guy's going to be like, what the fuck did you do to my van? He's going to be like, fuck off back to your house, mate. He's going to be like, okay. He's just going to go walk away.

He did that in somebody else's car. That's crazy. Shit face, too. More than likely drunk. Yes, no, my dad's a psychopath. The gates knocked down at the playground? There's a reason for that. That's because my dad's a psychopath,

and he ran a dog down. Holy shit. Piss drunk in someone else's car. That's so bad. Holy shit. Speaking of dogs, he makes a dog reference here in this next thing. In an interview later, they ask him what influence his grandmother had on him, and he says, quote, before there was a gang of us, and we were like a bunch of stray dogs, and wherever there was a game, we were there.

But when I moved in with Minan, I love the way British people say it, Minan. I don't know why. I love that. Minan. It was the first time in my life when I had to be in for my tea, and I wasn't allowed to play football all day. She was a lot more disciplined. I had to tell her where I was going to be at all times. All right.

You know, like normal parents. Yeah. Like a child. Like responsible parents treat their kids. I had to, like, find out where they were and stuff, you know, that sort of thing. I had to check in and shit. I had to, like, come home for dinner and tell her where I was going and stuff. Like a kid.

Like normal people, yeah. I wish for everyone's sake that all of his brothers were also here, but some of them didn't go with the dad. They went with mom. They had a different path and a different experience that we'll talk about in a minute. His favorite subject in school was P.E., which is not surprising. That's what every boy's favorite quote-unquote subject is. Who isn't? Yeah, we're going to play. Right.

That's great. We're going to go play sports and not fuck around in a class. That's fantastic. Get your energy out when you're a kid, too. This is great. He went to St. Thomas Beckett High, which was a Catholic high school. It's in the Hyten area here. It closed in 2008, by the way.

It closed down. And not for the reason you'd think, either. Not because there was a whole bunch of kids diddled or something like that. It just dwindled. There were no kids to diddle. There might have been. Yeah. They ran out of kids to diddle.

That's what happened here. There's just no more. No, everyone here knows my game, and they're not coming in the closet with me. I'm sorry. I can't get them in a room by myself. What do you want from me? We've got to close down. By the time it closed in 2008, there was 90 pupils and 32 members of staff.

Wow. So that is some one-on-one diddling right there. That is three for every kid. You could personally molest kids with that. Wait, three kids for every? Yeah. That's manageable if you're a diddler. That's crazy.

You know what I mean? I'm surprised they didn't fight to keep the doors open in this establishment. So he played, Joey played all sorts of sports. He was really good at rugby, actually. Really? And he was like a prospect in rugby. Interesting. Yeah, which is pretty interesting.

Yeah, he was like a prospect. He leaves school early, of course. Of course. Because these soccer players do. Like silver-haired, middle-aged white men like we talk about. They get these kids early. When they're like seven. Fucking yeah.

He played, this is they get them like the catholic church does yeah we're not joking though this is for real yeah everton which is a team he was the fan of he grew up in uh he started playing in their youth like thing 12 fucking 12 try eight wow eight now he's not getting paid yet it wasn't like the school boy rules ha ha gavin grant we'd found out right that asshole but yet. It wasn't like the schoolboy rules. Ha-ha, Gavin Grant. We'd found out. He's that asshole. But yeah, it wasn't that, but he was on their youth team. You had to try out. It was a team, and they were their squad.

You're going to teach him how to play, and hopefully he'll stick with them later. At eight, he was on that team. So that's how much he's into soccer. That's all he cares about. He's on the team for six years, too, until he's 14, and then they release him. Wow. He's 14 and he's been fired. Been released.

I've never been released from anything at 14. Released. Imagine that. Released. There's paperwork. Someone hands you paperwork. You're like, I don't know what any of this is. You give it to your mom.

I think they released you, honey. You're free to go to another team. What? That's so crazy. Am I? That's weird. He says about this, quote, I was heartbroken. You've got to realize they were the club I'd supported my whole life. My family and everyone associated to me were all Evertonians

and I wanted to stay there forever. They just disbanded our age group and we all had to look elsewhere. Phil, holy shit, Jaquilka at Sheffield United. John, does everybody's name have to be fucking ridiculous? John Otzenmober at Liverpool. Jesus.

I was just fortunate that I came for a trial at City and they took me straight away. In hindsight, maybe it was the best thing that could have happened. I had to focus really quickly and it gave me the kick up the backside I probably needed. Jesus. Maybe I was taking things for granted at Everton. I don't hold any grudges, but having that sort of disappointment gives you the fuel inside to put people wrong. It's like, you said I wasn't good enough. Well, I'll show you.

And that's his attitude a lot, which I like that attitude. That attitude is great for sports. Unfortunately, he does it like, you know, in outside off the field situations and with his fists oftentimes, too, which doesn't help either here. So he also has a brief stint with a Liverpool team around this time. He did trials with Nottingham Forest. Again, Gavin Grant, I believe. Yes. He played for Nottingham Forest.

Yes. Which sounds the most British team of, played for Nottingham Forest, which sounds the most British team of all time. Nottingham Forest? Are you fucking kidding me? That's exactly the name of the place that Robin Hood went. Yeah, that's what I mean. There are people in tights firing arrows all over this fucking place, and that's where

your soccer team's from? Nottingham. That doesn't sound tough to me. I'm sure it's Nottingham or some shit, right? It's Nottingham. You know it is. Yeah. They can say it however they want.

They can say Tottenham, but it's still you spelled it Tottenham. Cocksuckers. So, yes, that's right. An American is correcting the British on their fucking English. Say it however you want. That doesn't mean that's how it is. I'm sorry. As a person, if you took an alien and taught them English and said what does this fucking word say they'd go Tottenham

cocksucker that's what they'd say okay sorry this is left over from small town murder with these fucking town names Iowa, El Dorado eat dicks all of you so he's rejected by Nottingham Forest

they told him he's too small for the forest as our tree skills are not up to par uh they told him actually he's a really small feather in his hat it's a small little tiny one sorry dude it's a sparrow feather rather than a fucking pheasant it's a sparrow or sparrow wow i was gonna say i got caught between pheasant and sparrow and i said a pharaoh tail so So, tail, not even a feather. That was great. Wow, what a mess. That's what happens when you're on two hours sleep, everybody.

Let's do this. So, they tell him he's too small. Okay. They said, sorry, dude, you're too small. You should probably, you know, try roofing. I don't know what to tell you, but take a fucking walk, pal. Maybe they expected him to get bigger, too, because he's a teenager. Sure.

That's the other thing, too. He's like fucking 14, 15. 14 years old. He hasn't even had his growth spurt yet. Yeah, you yeah you go well maybe he'll grow an extra cup we don't know he's a kid bananas they're like not 14 you're done watch goodbye you tiny fuck out of here you little bastard dig eye so uh he ends up signing with manchester city okay they take him on man like you were saying uh they were good they are good now uh He makes his first appearance on the under-17s team in 1999. He plays with that at academy level for three years.

Now, academy level, I've looked up, tried to look up everything about it, and it's apparently some sort of term. Whenever you look up academy level, they're, like, showing you, like, school teams. But that's not what this was. This was, like, I guess that's their youth team is academy level, I suppose, or that might not what this was. This was like, I guess that's their youth team's academy level, I suppose, or that might be a different thing. I spent an hour and a half trying to figure this out, and this is what I got.

I got, I think it's their youth team, or maybe not. I have no fucking idea. That's what I got out of it. That's terrific, right? I think, or maybe not. Or maybe not at all. I'm not sure. He played with them in teams for three years here after 1999. So Manchester City is, yeah, they're the other Manchester team.

There's Manchester United, which is. They're like the premier. You hear their name more. Are they like the Yankees? Right. They're the most valuable franchise in the world. They're like the Cowboys of soccer. Yeah. But They're the most valuable franchise in the world. They're like the Cowboys of soccer. Yeah.

But they're the most popular. Everybody loves them. I don't give a fuck. I don't know. It's strange that Manchester, which isn't their biggest city, would have the most fans. It's odd that you wouldn't have a team like, oh, Cincinnati's got the most valuable team. You know what I mean? I feel like it's probably because they probably had the greatest player

or some shit like that. I know that they had Beckham. They had Beckham. So I think that it's just like the most popular player was there, kind of like fucking the Bulls in 92, you know what I mean? Yeah, but Chicago's still the third largest city in the United States. Manchester might be about that level there. I'm not sure.

I haven't done all the research on English city populations. I just know London is the most. I don't hear of a. But I think that's what it is. It's just fucking bandwagon fans. Okay, I get you. Just like any other sport. And they win. They fucking win. So people like that.

Not bad. Just like every other goddamn sport. Just like every other goddamn sport. I love when the Broncos win because it feels good. But when they win, I can't buy a jersey because everybody fucking buys it. You fucking assholes. That's a good point. Stealing it all.

Go back to whatever team won last year. Keep buying that jersey, you fucking dick. Go buy a Jacksonville jersey. Get out of my Broncos section. There you go. So this Manchester City actually went through a really bad period. They went through in the 80s and 90s. By 1998, they were in third tier of England.

They weren't in Premier or Champ. They were in third tier. But then early 2000s, they got back to the Premier League, and then they've become a big deal. I think they won the Premier League in 2012 and 2014, if I remember that correctly from all this reading I've done on Manchester City. Yeah, I think so. I could be completely, again, maybe or maybe not. I'm not sure.

As with all of the soccer research I try to do here. If you don't know when Crystal Pepsi was discontinued, what was in Al Capone's vault, or which famous meteorologist is Lenny Kravitz's second cousin, then you haven't spent enough time on Wikipedia. But that's okay. I am here for you. I'm Darcy Carden, and I'm inviting you to listen to my new podcast, WikiHole,

from Smartless Media. Discover the craziest rabbit holes on Wikipedia with me and my funny friends as we bring the cyber frontier directly to your tympanic membrane. And if you listen to my podcast, you'd learn that that's the science-y term for eardrum. We embark on a hyperlink rollercoaster as we start out on a Wikipedia page and go from link to link to link to link, careening through trivia, oddities,

and unexpected connections until we collectively shout, how the hell did we get here? Follow WikiHole on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to WikiHole ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

The wait is over. So far you're not losing. The only thing you're losing is my patience. Quickly, I see that. Ding! The queen of the courtroom is back. I didn't do anything. You wouldn't know the truth if it came up and slapped you in the face. I see he's not intimidated by anything.

I can fix that. New cases. She wanted to fight me. Leave her. A-low. Okay, so, um. This is not a so. This is a period.

Classic Judy. Did you sleep with her? Yes, Your Honor. You married his cousin. His brother. That's not him. Yes, ma'am. I would make a beeline for the door.

The Emmy Award-winning series returns. How did I know that? I have a crystal ball in my head. It's an all new season. It's streaming. You can say anything. Judy Justice. Only on Freebie. This first reserve team appearance for Manchester City came in 2000-2001 season. That was his last year as a trainee.

I guess that's when you're playing academy levels. They planned to release him, they thought the club was going to plan to release him, but then they reconsidered and they decided to give him a contract and see how he panned out. So they were like, let's see how he goes here. After that, they had the under-19s team. He was on there. And he goes through that and actually begins to be a regular reservist for the team. In 2002-2003, he's promoted to the first team squad for the 2002-2003 season for Manchester City.

Great. So very exciting at this point here. November 24, 2002, he's ready. It's his chance to make his first appearance. He's been waiting his whole goddamn life in the Premier League. He's there. He's ready. The coach says he wants to put him in. The manager,

Kevin Keegan, who we'll talk about a lot, he said he's ready to give him his first appearance. He says, go get him off the substitutes bench. Let's go. And then he can't find his shirt. What? He can't find his shirt. What? He can't find his shirt. His shirt's gone. Why isn't he wearing

it? I guess he took it off and he, I don't understand why, but he put it on the substitutes bench in between whatever. He came back to it and it was gone. Somebody's fucking with him. And he doesn't have a fan stall. There's a jersey sitting there. Who knows? He's basically, he's number 41 at the time.

He couldn't find it. And yeah, he took it off before the half. And the rule states that a player has to have their correct number, like the refs have and everything, to go on the field. So he couldn't wear a blank shirt. He couldn't wear somebody else's. Had to be that. So Keegan, the coach here, the manager, said, quote, Joey couldn't find his shirt, so I couldn't put him on. He said, apparently, he put it down at halftime, went in the dressing room with a vest on, and when he came back, he couldn't find it.

What a dipshit. It's unbelievable that we only brought him one shirt. I was going to give him some experience, but that's life, though he should know better coming from Liverpool. That's the truth. Yeah. He said, so it's fucking. It's your fucking responsibility. Yeah.

He said, that's so funny, though. He said he should know better coming from Liverpool. He should know people steal shit. Right. Because that's what he was saying. He's been in the shit before. He's a schmuck. He knows things.

So, yeah. So he's his first chance and he has no shirt. And he fucking blew it. And he can't get in. That's November 24, 2002. You know when he finally actually makes a debut after that? April 5, 2003. Wow. He had to sit makes a debut after that? April 5th, 2003. He had to sit there for five months

going, if only my fucking shirt was on the goddamn... Why did I put a vest? Who wears a vest? What grown man wears a vest? What the fuck am I doing? In the time that it took him to lose that shirt and then finally get his appearance, he could have grown

cotton, spooled out some string, and made his own goddamn jersey. Several jerseys. What a dipshit. So, yeah, he doesn't do that. He makes his debut on April 5, 2003, versus the Bolton Wanderers. His first goal came a couple weeks later against Tottenham Hotspur on Good Friday of all times. He had seven consecutive starts to end that season. Not bad at all here.

They're the Hotspurs, correct? They're the Hotspur. Hotspur. Oh, right, right. The Hotspur. Just one spur. The Tottenham Hotspur. But they call them the spur, right?

I think that's how it goes. I don't fucking know what they call them. I don't know what the fuck a Hotspur is. They call them the wrong city name. So after that, I've lost interest in what they call these assholes. We've pronounced them correctly, hotspur. Hotspur. Assholes.

Take that. April 7, 2003, this was right after he started. He comes in as a substitute for a Mark Vivian foe. And they said that he played with such heart that they were so proud of him. The manager, Keegan, said, quote, he has done us proud. We didn't expect him to be a match winner. We expected him to stand up in the middle and be counted, and he did exactly that. And we also expect him to wear his fucking shirt.

Also, he had a shirt, which was also great. He lost his fucking shirt. He did very well out there all while wearing a shirt, so we were very proud of him for that. Meanwhile, if you score a goal, then you can take it off and run around the fucking field. Then you gotta pick it back up and put it back on again, though.

It's such a weird fucking thing that they do. I guess goals are so few and far between. You gotta lose your shit. You're waiting six months for this. You gotta lose your fucking mind. I have ran 43 miles to get this one fucking goal. You understand that? When's the last time you tried that hard for something? Or for English people, we've run 68 keys or Ks, right?

Ks, yeah. Kilometers. Keys is kilos. We've run 68 mountains of cocaine. This is great. Oh, man. Okay, so that's it. Barton, on the other hand, from this game, this is only his second game, he was disappointed with the result of the game because they lost,

but he was happy to debut and to play. He said, quote, I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I don't think I did too badly, but I'm sure I could do better if the team was playing well as a whole. The manager wanted me to do a pure and simple holding job, and that is what I tried to do. But there was more to my game. I was happy to go out there and do whatever Kevin Keegan wanted me to do and to do it to the best of my ability. I just love playing football. Kevin Keegan.

He calls him by his first and last name. Yeah. He basically there, reading between the lines lines i feel like he said uh they had me do something i'm better than that and what they had me do right but it's cool i'll still do it because i just you know let me wrap this up by sounding humble but i'm not humble and also it's all kevin keegan's fault it's all kevin keegan i just did what he told me to do i mean i can do better than that they got me playing out at the top of the key i can dunk i'll fucking slice through the lane but they're not letting me.

So, hey, what do you want from me? Tell Kevin Keegan. Talk to him. Yeah. And he threw Kevin Keegan so that you knew he wasn't talking about some other Kevin. No, just to make sure. Or some other Keegan. Some other manager of the team.

You know, just to make sure it's that guy. Nobody says, Coach, Coach Greg Popovich. No. They fucking say his whole name. He didn't even say manager. He just said Kevin Keegan. Oh, okay. Whatever Kevin Keegan wanted.

It's Greg, right? Yeah, it's Greg Popovich. Did I just use the wrong person? Nope, you got him. Because it's Coach Pop. It's just Pops. Yeah, you just know that. He said he wasn't overawed.

He said, you know if you're going to play in the Premiership, then you are going to play against and with world-class players. If you want to be the best uh you can be then you have to uh you just have to go then you just have to go get on with it that's that's such a weird way to put that if you want to be the best you can be then you just have to go get on with it it's very stressful i'm like is that right did i write that correctly but that's what he said uh yeah he said he doesn't feel like he was out of his depth he feels like he's going to grow into this role. And he's mostly upset because the team lost.

And he said, we feel we let people not least the supporters down. He feels guilty for the loss there. April 15, 2003, right around this time, he signs a one-year deal. They go, let's lock him up for a year, which isn't bad. It's only a one year, but it's fine. If he keeps remembering those jerseys, though, then that's going to get much longer. He's going to do laundry detail on the side for an extra, you know, he's got a little extra bump in his pay here. With the re-signing, Keegan, the manager, said, quote, Joey is on the fringes of the first team, and the idea of an extra year's contract is to let us see if he does well.

If he doesn't do well, he doesn't want to be stuck here as a 21-year-old when he could be playing elsewhere. So, you know, that's the thing. And he said football has gone very short term in that aspect. The idea of giving players five- or six-year contracts in future, unless they are absolutely exceptional, is a thing of the past. So they're trying to lock it down. They're trying to figure out how to get out of what baseball is doing now,

giving fucking 10-year, $300 million deals. And it's like, how are we locked into this? When he's 39, he's going to be making $46 million a year. There's no way he's going to be as good as he is now. No way he's going to be worth that. No, as he is now at 27 when he's jacking fucking home runs. So, yeah. He ends up getting a call-up, as they call it, to the England under-21, the U-21 squad,

for the 2004 European Championship qualifiers against Macedonia and Portugal. Oh. And Portugal, Jimmy. He scores a goal against Portugal. Is Macedonia still a country right now? I believe it is. I don't know why that doesn't sound right to me. It sounds like it's the Macedonian period.

Oh, Mesopotamia. That's what I'm thinking about. Macedonia sounds ancient. Anything with Donia in it sounds like everything now is made of stone that was there. It's all petrified. Petrified over, and Indiana Jones is trying to take artifacts while Nazis chase them through there. Macedonia? Macedonia, yes.

It's where a lot of fake news and shit came from, where a lot of Russian troll shit, they came out of Macedonia and offices and things like that. Yes, in the last election. They have computers. That's weird. They do. Yeah. Hackers and shit come from there.

That's the type of country we're dealing with. All right. Nice. That's their claim to fame. We make good hackers, or we at least make offices that are good for hackers to sit in and fuck with. So there's a big fluff piece in 2003 late 2003 yeah he says this at this point he's 21 years old he's saying he's not interested in the trappings that come with a big uh with being a premiership footballer uh he's

just concentrating on doing the best he can this is the interview where the guy goes i don't know man it's just my teammates and everything and give it up to God because my teammates and me, you know, we just do the best we can every day and try to get on to the next game and play the best we can for the fans because they're the ones paying the money to see it. Have a good night. Sure. Yeah. And then they look up to God and say, you know,

throw a little kiss off the fingertips to the Lord and they walk away. That's basically what he's learning to do here. Do that interview. We have an in their own words on it. The stereotypical Patriots interview. Stereotypical, that's what they teach you day one in college. If anyone asks you anything, it doesn't matter if they say, hey, did you knock your girlfriend up and cut her throat?

Say, me and my teammates are just going to get through this together and we're going to fight on to the next game and try our best because there's always tomorrow. Unless you run our test and then you do crazy shit, and that's what people want to see. That's what they want to see. That's who I want. I don't want Tom Brady's bullshit interview. No, he's boring as shit. I don't want to see that.

Fucking Bill Belichick going, we're on to the next game, next question. Yeah, give me somebody crazy. Give me somebody with personality. Oh, lunatics. Yeah, like, I mean, Bobby Knight was an asshole college coach, but fuck was he entertaining and shit. You get a good press conference out of that guy. I love a good press. Oh, lunatics. Yeah, like, I mean, Bobby Knight was an asshole college coach, but fuck was he entertaining and shit. You get a good press conference out of that guy.

I love a good press conference back in the day. There's a ton of guys. Dennis Rodman sniffing his fingers or some shit while he's on. They're asking him questions about the game, and he wants to talk about some supermodel he fucked yesterday. Oh, my God. That's who I want. Those are the guys I want. In their own words.

Yeah. Quote, these are all the trappings of being a young footballer, being out late and so on. But I'm not in the game to be a superstar. I'm in it to work hard and play football, win as many things as I can and be the best player I can. I'm from a family that keeps themselves to themselves and that's it. So he is, by the way, he's from a family where there's no laundry. Nothing's out. Remember him saying that.

His family, there's nothing out in the public. We're all quiet. We all keep it under wraps. We're all just law-abiding good citizens. We're good now. Everybody's good now. So that's all it is. He says some of the senior players are probably surprised that he answers back so much.

Like he's a talker. He said it might be strange that he's young, but he said that he thinks they understand that it's because of where he's from in Liverpool. He says, quote, where I grew up, it doesn't matter how old you are. If someone says something to you, then you've got the right to say something back. So he's saying, yeah, he said

there's a lot of guys trying to be aggressive and he said he was always really small when he was younger, but he could, quote, always punch my own weight. Wow. So he's saying he's tough. He's not taking any shit. If a dog bites someone, I'll run it the fuck down.

I don't care if there's a gate up. I don't care if I don't even have a car. I'll find a car. I'll tell somebody to fuck off back to their house. Fuck off back to your house. That's the greatest fucking line ever. I hope someday I get to tell someone to fuck off back to their house. Don't you want to tell them that? Don't you want to yell at one of tell someone to fuck off back to their house. Don't you want to tell them that?

Don't you want to yell at one of your neighbors, fuck off back to your house? Okay. God, I want that so bad. Well, I'm watering my bushes or some shit, and they're just like, Jimmy, how's your day? Fuck off. Fuck off back to your house. Like Dennis on Always Sunny with that neighbor. That's all he needed to say was, fuck off back to your house.

When he just stiff arms him. He just stiff arms him walking into the house. I love that. With his keys in his hand, just not taking it. God, that's brilliant. I love Always Sunny. That's so good. So odd.

That just. He nailed it, man. That whole thing is just you living in suburbs somewhere. Oh, God. That would be me. Yeah. Snapping. Don't talk to me.

At every fucking. Oh, God. Burying the dog. Can you imagine? Oh, I would be losing my mind. I would kill all these people. Snapping. Don't talk to me. At every fucking, oh, God. Burying the dog. Can you imagine? Oh, I would be losing my mind. I would kill all these people. I'd lose it. You didn't even notice I put meat in the macaroni.

That's so great. I know, you didn't notice I changed the macaroni. I see it. There's chunks of meat in it. All right. It's great. You love the closet. Anyway, so 2002, 2003 statistics, he has seven appearances with one goal.

Yeah. So, you know. Seven appearances? Seven appearances, one goal. That seems pretty fucking great to me. Working him in there. Because it sounds to me like, I mean, as many goals are scored in that fucking sport. It's not bad.

It's like seven appearances, that's seven games, and he was the one that scored. Yes. He's lucky if in seven games, their whole team scores one that scored. Yes. He's lucky if in seven games their whole team scores one fucking goal. No shit. Yeah, so he's got one in seven. It's good for him. February of 2004, the next season, he picks up his first red card of his career. That's awesome.

In a game against, again, fucking Hotspur. What did he do? It's probably those Hotspur bastards goading him into something. He got a yellow card in the first half, and then he, I guess, really argued with the referee pretty hard, not even during the game at halftime. Oh, Jesus. And the ref tossed him at halftime. How about that?

You've got to be an asshole to get thrown out at halftime. Like, the game isn't even fucking going on. You know, I love the, if you don't know, by the way, the yellow card, red card, I know you know, but if you don't know, if you don't know anything about soccer, if you're being a dick and you break some rules or you're just being general knickery, the referee in very polite British fashion will show you a yellow card. He won't point at you and make hand gestures. That's the funniest way. He'll show it to you.

He'll go, see that? And then from there, he's got a little notebook. This is how fucked up soccer is, okay? It's so passive aggressive. Well, not only he shows it, he's like, I'm just writing it down. Right. Like a teacher looking back up at you, looking back down. Like a fucking meter maid.

But why is the referee writing shit down in a small notebook? Do we have a computer we could store this shit on or someone on the side? That's what I mean about the penalty time. At the end, they add just about 14 minutes. How about you fucking pay attention at all using math and find out exactly how much time we have? What are you writing shit down in a small notebook for? Was he a fucking comic? Oh, I got a joke.

I'm going to write. What is he doing? And they don't put like the extra time up on the clock. They just keep playing. They just keep playing. They have no idea. And then they're like, are we done? Is it done?

Has somebody heard? Are we done? What are we doing? Are we going to add more on to that? Holy shit. He's writing down in a notebook. It's just a little journal. Showed him the card.

He looked very upset by it. I am glad because he deserves it. What a jerk. Exclamation point. Is it a yellow card or do they have like a, they call it amber or some shit? No, it's a yellow card. It's a yellow card or do they have like a, they call it amber or some shit? No, it's a yellow card. It's a yellow card. And then there's a red card too.

And the red card is, you certainly may fuck off with that. Take a fucking hike out of here. And if you get the red card, if you're tossed, this is interesting here. The player who receives the second red card, it's the second yellow card. It's basically a tossing. That's a red card. They're shown the yellow card again. And then they take the red out and show them that too which is hilarious like they have 21 like here's a 10 and an ace fuck you give him a finger and

then start writing it down a little notebook i beat johnny with a blackjack what the fuck is going on in this game so it's so passive aggressive, though. It's like they don't in football. They throw a flag on the field and then you have to wait. There's so much suspense to find out what the infraction is and then what the penalty is. They tell everybody. They call it all out. Hey, everybody, I just want to remind you.

Number 88 doesn't know the rules of this fucking game. Exactly. He has forgotten everything he's learned up to this point in his life. So good. The ref chases you, showing you a card. Right in your fucking face. And then writing stuff down like a fucking meter maid. Ridiculous.

NFL refs should have to drill the player in the back with that fucking flag. Yeah, they really dink. You got to hit him with it or else it doesn't count. Like that one dude got hit in the eye with it. That poor guy got fucking half blind and lost his career over that. Just walking, minding his own business. Penalty wasn't even on him. No, it's not even on him.

Just got hit in the eye. Probably on the other team, too. Probably. I think it was, as a matter of fact. I think he was on the Browns, though, so he was doomed from day one. He was fucked. Or was he on the Raiders? I don't remember.

One of the two. Doesn't matter. So anyway, once a player's kicked out, they can't be substituted for either. Really? That's it. You're out, fucker. So that team is just down a man? It's like a penalty box, except he's gone for the rest of the game.

Wow. So you're done. You're out. So that's, you're fucking your team if you're getting red cards. This guy gets so many fucking red cards. Really? And yellow cards. He gets tossed a lot.

He's in like the top, you know, they show like top penalty guys of all time. He's Mark West. He is top 15. Fuck that. He's in like the top, you know, they show like top penalty guys of all time. He's Mark West. He is top 15. Fuck that. He's Steve Durbano. He's like, yeah, he's one of these guys, man. He's a top penalty man. So April 2004, he's not being played in a game at Southampton.

So he just leaves the stadium. He just says, all right, well, you're not going to play me? Fuck it, I'm going to leave. Yeah, he just takes off. Hopefully, he remembered his other shirt. There's a big shirt thing with him. I'm very worried about him in shirts. Is he going to do this shirt?

Well, what'd you do with that shirt? I feel like he's always got a shirt problem. I would staple it to my fucking shoulders and never take it off. You shouldn't. Later on, he's shirtless at another incident. Really? With the police. He needs shirts, this guy.

Send Joey Barton shirts, please. Send him a YouSermHeyFuckOff shirt. Yes, that would be perfect. Find his address and send it from Threadless.com. That would be amazing. That would be amazing. If you're going to do that, we get a discount a little bit on there. We'll give you the creator code for it because that's amazing.

So this is without Kevin Keegan's permission, the manager here. So he's kind of, but he's still pretty decent, so they let it slide. He has 28 appearances in 2003, 2004, one goal, and eight yellow cards. He has eight times more yellow cards than goals. Than goals, exactly. He's building them up. I don't know if that's a good balance or what. I don't know.

It doesn't sound like it. Eight penalties like that? That sounds terrible. It sounds really bad here. This year he also has four appearances in National Cup play. Yeah. He is named, well, this is why they let it go, though. He is named Manchester City Young Player of the Year for 2003-2004.

That's great. So he's good. That's why they take his shit. Yeah. And he's a team guy, too. He plays hard. There's never any... It's just like a Ben Cousins

or something like that where there's never any question of their effort on the field. It's just their decision-making is slightly messed up, and that makes sense when your dad runs down dogs in a park. That'll happen.

Yeah. So during the 2004-2005 season, July 25th, 2004, he incites a riot basically on the field. It's in a pre-season exhibition game, which they call pre-season friendlies. That's how nice. Like, hey, let's just

all get together, kick a ball around at the park. That sounds like someone will be barbecuing while it's happening at halftime. You'll all eat together, go back out and play. There's a nice boom box with some music on. Yeah, you know, something like that. Some guy's got Spanish music really bumping loud, that ranchero with the tuba going. I don't know. Everyone's like, Jesus fucking Christ.

There's an accordion somewhere. What the fuck? Fuck me. Jesus Christ. You know, everyone's. Yeah. That is the soundtrack of Phoenix, everybody. That's Sunday at the park in Phoenix.

I hope you listen to that in your car because that's going to sound bassy, actually. That's going to be good and bassy. It's going to bump for you. It's a preseason friendly at Doncaster. Okay. Yeah, he apparently fights with a guy named Paul Green. It's a friendly. What are you doing fighting?

Yeah, it's insane. He gets pulled out. Barton gets pulled out. Keenan says it for his own safety. He says, quote, I don't want to stop him being tenacious, but I want him to remember what football is all about. Not fighting. He likes to fight. We're here for fun.

He punches people in the dick and everything else. He's crazy. My Christ. So he's doing so well. September 22, 2004. Manchester City signs him to a three-year deal through 2007. So that's great. This was in September. So this is your new guy.

He's got a three-year deal. You expect him to display the utmost citizenship, respect, and just being a representative for this goddamn team. Yeah, and he wants the goddamn money. He wants the paycheck. He wants the contract. He wants a spot. Now he's got something to live up to. He's got a

three-year deal. He's making good money. So here's what he does. You think it's going to be a smart thing? Here's how he celebrates. December 18 it's going to be a smart thing? Here's how he celebrates. December 18, 2004 is the Manchester City Christmas Party. Yay. They're all having fun.

It's a costume affair. They're all dressed up in costumes. Fucking British. What are you doing? Barton is dressed up as Jimmy Saville, which is a bad decision. Who the hell is Jimmy Saville? Jimmy Saville is the British guy, the British radio TV guy that molested hundreds of kids. Oh, perfect. And he molested everybody.

He had an abuse ring. He's the worst person ever. And that was known when he did this? No. Oh, okay. This was before that. He was just... I was like, what kind of scumbag are we dealing with today?

He was nationally beloved. Really? He was the number one. He was... It's exactly like Bill Cosby. Okay. He was like this beloved. Everybody loved him.

Yeah. He was just a staple of society. And then all of a sudden, biggest piece of shit in the world. I don't think they found out until after he died. And then it all came out. And it was, he had like organized rings of balls. It was crazy. Like David Letterman with his fuck room? That is my favorite story. They weren't children.

Those are not children. Let's not say the same thing. Good point. This is children. But that's pretty fucking sweet. These are little British children. It is. Letterman and his fuck room is my favorite thing. That's funny.

I picture this, well, not funny for the people. I picture this being like little dirty face chimney sweeps that he's bringing in here, Jimmy Savile. He's just in there getting like chimney sweep dust on his balls. Can I have another crack of gum? Yeah. He's like, that he's bringing in here, Jimmy Savile. Just in there getting like chimney sweep dust on his balls. Could I have another crack of gum? And he's like, yeah, come on in here. Come here and make me... Yeah, he diddles them up. That's terrible.

Let me clean that off your face with this. Yeah, with bad foresight, he's dressed as Jimmy Savile, and he's going around the room. Basically, he's got a lit cigar, and he's like sticking people in the arm with it. What? Like they have sleeves on and shit, but he's sticking them in the arm and like, he's got a lit cigar yeah and he's like sticking people in the arm with what like they have sleeves on and shit but he's sticking them in the arm and like you know a bunch of ashes and embers and he's being a dick he's had and by his own accounts kind of okay by

his own accounts they're all a dozen pints into the fucking night they're all doesn't matter they're shit hammered they're having whatever they're being. Anyway, there's a younger guy who's on the youth team here, a guy named James Tandy. He apparently kept fucking with him, kept fucking with this James Tandy. Yeah. And put something in this James Tandy, got pissed off. Yeah. And he went and tried to set his shirt on fire. Oh, shit.

From the back, which I've done. We've all done that in high school. Probably not all of us, but. Not all of us. Holy shit, that's bananas. Any of our friends if they had a sweater on yeah you were getting a lit on fire you're an asshole not for me just from anybody wow there's the first person that could get near you with a bick you're well because

you could be sitting there fuck what if he's wearing a cardigan like i wear them all the time because it doesn't that shit'll go up no it, though. It goes up quickly and then it's gone. To the point where the person who's wearing it barely notices that it happened. Wow. Like, you'll see someone taking a bite of a sandwich and just look down like, what just happened? Their whole shirt just went poof in a fireball and disappeared. Because it's just this fuzzy thing and you literally just pop and gone in a fucking half a second. Where they're like, did that just happen? Like, I think I just got let on fire.

So it's got to be like a Cosby style sweater. It's got to be a Cosby sweater, yeah, yeah. Okay. You can't hold it and light it on fire like a normal shirt. No, that's going to be on fire. It can't be like a Russell Athletic gear sweater. This guy tried to set his shirt on fire because he said, hey, asshole, you're trying to put cigars out in my fucking arm.

his shirt on fire because he said, hey, asshole, you're trying to put cigars out in my fucking arm. So what Barton does is he turns around and stubs, puts the cigar right into the kid's eye. Oh, my God. The kid's 18 years old playing on this team. He stabs a lit cigar into his eye.

Like a fucking wrestling angle. Again, it was like the junkyard dog or something. Now he's blinded. Anyway, so yeah, that's what I mean. This is what happens here. So now this poor kid has got a cigar in his eye. He was being a jerk off too. They were all drunk, but I think he took it a little far with the cigar in the eye. It's a bit over the line.

A little bit. That's a red card. That's a red card. You, sir. No, that's at least a yellow. I'm not sure. At minimal. If he was on the first team, it's a red, but this is, you know, whatever.

So anyway, Tandy, his friends start beating the shit out of Barton. They jump on Barton. One of them hits him in the head with a bottle, which is interesting. None of this ends up getting reported to police at all. Nothing. It's at a team party. These are all assaults. The cops don't want, like, extra police attention on their players.

They're not the cops. The team doesn't want that, obviously. The silver-haired, middle-aged white man. It fucks up his eye pretty good. Manchester City spokesperson said, quote, we are aware of a minor incident that took place on Sunday involving two members of our playing staff. That's a way to put it. Oh, boy.

An internal investigation is already being carried out and the matter is being dealt with by the club. Under the rug. Don't worry about it. Silver. We're making money over here. Just look over there. Yeah, it's fine. Under the rug. Don't worry about it. Silver. We're making money over here. Just look over there. Yeah, it's fine.

It's fine. Now, Tandy says, quote, it was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. You mean fire in your fucking eyeball? Yeah. What? Burning coals and ember. In my fucking eyeball. Directly in your eyeball.

Jesus. Well, the best thing is, he said, it's the most excruciating pain I've ever felt, and that was after a few drinks. It's like, imagine if I was sober. He said, quote, it was really vicious the way he did it. Very deliberate. He was emotionless. You know, like a dog that bit you.

Yeah, he said it nearly blinded him. This Tandy said he'd known Barton since he joined Manchester City when he was 11. This kid was 11, when he was 11. Yeah. This kid was 11, and he was 14, I think, Barton. Tandy says about him, quote, he was always really cocky from day one.

In the youth team, he used to say to the other players, I don't wish I knew what this was. Okay. Because it's something British. It's I've, S-H SH and then five asterisks. I don't know what that could be. I've shit something to your mom is what he would tell people. I don't know what that, what exactly. British, if you can help us out.

I've shit something to your mom. He used to tell people that on the field? Just to piss them off. Just to be like, yeah, I fucked your mom type of thing to people, which that's very immature. And that's what you do at that point. Maybe shit canned, like ass fucked her? Shit fucked? Maybe. Shit fucked, maybe.

Oh, I'll bet it's shit fucked your mom. There's only five asterisks, so that's not enough for shit fucked. I don't know. That would be six. Shagged? No, that wouldn't be blanked out in a newspaper article. You don't think so? I could never find the original.

This is all they ever printed was the whatever version of it. Anyway, I looked it up forever. Maybe it's shit fucked. Let's say it's shit fucked. He said he'd always go to the lesser paid players like me saying, do you know how much I'm on compared with you? I earn 15,000 pounds a week. Wow. So he'd be fucking with it basically.

Just bragging about his money. Yeah. So he'd be fucking with her basically. Just bragging about his money. Yeah. He said that – Jamie said they were all in fancy dress and drinking and they started drinking at about 11.30 a.m. Holy shit. Which is something else. Yeah.

Tandy said he was, quote, the bloke from an officer and a gentleman. And Joey was Jimmy Seville. He said – Tandy said he had just started like training with the first team, but he knew everybody well because they all came up from there you know he said it was fine he didn't feel threatened except for uh you know this other except for uh barton uh tandy said he'd had about eight shots and about 13 bottles of beer holy shit everybody was on about the same pace my fuck so these guys are good christ man that's so much yeah how do you? I can't. I've drank. I've drank.

Is that how I said? I don't know. I've had a lot of booze. That's a lot of booze. And when I'm talking about a lot of booze, maybe a 12 pack in a night. But that's like adding shots into it. This also, this is what they did there. And then they went to another, to a bar.

Yeah. And they were like, now let's go somewhere. Fuck that. That's fucked up. So they went to a baby blue bar. How are you going to even walk in? It's fucking... They did.

With that much booze in you, how do you walk? Well, they walked right up to the bar and started getting shots of vodka that they were all doing. Shots of vodka. Shots of vodka. Gross. Now we need shots. And now, yeah, who wants a shot of vodka?

Disgusting. The whole reason to have vodka is to put it in shit and not taste it. Right. That's what you want. Kill the fucking flavor of that shit. It tastes like hairspray. Ugh. So anyway, they flavor of that shit. It tastes like hairspray. So anyway,

they did all this shit. Once they started drinking vodka, the mood changed, apparently, at that point. You get Russian and angry. Yes, exactly. You get all dotsy on us and you go fucking crazy. He said, quote, I didn't see him coming and he lit the arm

of my costume and burned a big hole in it. I said, what the fuck do you think you're doing? And he just laughed. I was livid because the costume cost me 50 pounds and I was only on 500 pounds a week. Robbie came over and told me he'd pay for it. So I just shouted after Joey, I'll get you back. And then what he ended up doing is just flicking a lighter at his thing. And then, you know, here we go.

We got a cigar and now we got fights. Yeah. He said, and then, you know, here we go. He puts a cigar in the eye. Yeah, he said, Tandy said, quote, I was terrified. The consultant said my retina was burned and it was a touch and go whether I'd be able to see again out of that eye. Holy shit. The picture's nasty, too. He's got a big burn on his eyelid. He looks fucking terrible.

They're waiting to see what happens. The team's doing an internal investigation. Tandy ends up being fined two weeks wages for his part in it. Holy shit. They're trying to set him on fire. A thousand pounds. And then he says, quote, they said they'd fined Joey four weeks wages and didn't expect their players to behave like that. Only thing is a week later, they just dropped Jamie Tandy from the club altogether.

They shit canned him because they just said, well, he's a first team guy. You're a kid. Fuck off here. It's incredible, man. And the fucking thing is, Kevin Keegan told him that it had nothing to do with what happened a week after it happened. They had him since he was 13. Now, all of a sudden, he said, quote, he told me it had nothing

to do with what happened, but I was devastated. I started drinking and at one point I'd be getting through 24 cans of lager a night. Oh, my God. This a case of beer, James, in one night. This sends him on a huge downward spiral. He goes to play in Denmark. When his contract ran out, he said he started drinking more.

He started gambling. He started running up big debts. Then he injured his knee. And basically he was just fucked to the stand. His whole life fell apart. It's a goddamn disaster. That cigar was the beginning of the end. Yeah, that was tough. Fuck the

end of the end. Barton gets a record fine, six weeks wages, after being found guilty of gross misconduct by the team after an internal investigation, which that's a lot of money for $15,000 a week. That's not bad here.

Apparently the chairman of the team here really lit into him and talked a lot of shit with him. Barton got a bad reputation over this. But the player, nobody really seemed to like... In the end, it's six weeks wages for him and that was it. He issued a formal apology for his behavior, Barton did. But all he said was, I'd like to apologize for my part in the incident which took place on Sunday evening. I feel embarrassed about what I did and deeply regret it. I'm grateful for the support of the club, our supporters, and my family during this time.

I fully accept the punishment and have cooperated with the disciplinary procedure. And that other guy's fucked. So I stabbed him in the eye and got him cut from his fucking team. And by the way, by the time I start getting paid again, that guy's now up to a case of beer a night. But see, this is what happens when at eight years old, they're grooming him to be something later. That doesn't happen in America. Has anybody groomed at eight to do anything great later?

That's very rare. The only thing you get is the kids who are really tall. You get the Shacks or the Dwight Howards who are 6'6 when they're 12. They take those kids aside and they go, no, no, no, you're special. Because they'll never have to not be special. They'll always be special. Everybody else. A homeless black guy walking down the street gets adopted by a white couple that owns Taco Bells and then becomes Michael Orr.

That happens. That happens from time to time. Or worse, to all ladies that kill him. That's crazy story too they don't kill her all ladies there but it's just that doesn't happen in america where you get where you get just fucking groomed from such a young age this is what happens right yeah it builds assholes and idiots that stab people with cigars in the fucking eyeball we have it a little bit but not not to this extent. Not to this extent. You don't play for like a big team's little team. Like that doesn't work here. He also played soccer that year, like an Elijah Dukes.

Wow. As we said, he still played baseball, but he still played soccer. 2004, 2005 stats, 31 appearances, one goal and nine yellow cards. Jesus. So he's still fighting here. Makes one National Cup appearance here. Taylor Swift is soaring high, her every move captured in the news cycle and devoured by her devoted fans. She's broken billboard records and made Grammys history, not to mention becoming a billionaire in the process.

But along the way, Taylor has had to wage war, first by taking on a very powerful, very famous manager, Scooter Braun, and then by going up against the biggest live events company, Ticketmaster. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery's show, Business Wars. We go deep into some of the biggest corporate rivalries of all time. And in our latest season, Taylor Swift will shake up not only the music business, but Hollywood and the NFL. Follow Business Wars wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. May 2005, it's two o'clock in the morning and he's driving his car through the middle of Liverpool and he runs over a 35-year-old pedestrian and breaks his leg. Oh, my God.

Now, we never find out if he's drunk or anything like that, but judging by his behavior all the time, if it's 2 a.m. and he's awake, he's fucked up. He's fucked up. So I don't know if somebody got him out of this or what the deal was. Or if the other guy was drunk, too. And he was like, ah, it's all right, mate. He's like in Christmas Vacation, Eric Idle. Oh, I fell down the street. Yeah. They hit him like 12 times too. And he was like, ah, it's alright mate. He's like in Christmas Vacation Eric Idle. I sat down on the street. They hit him like 12 times. He's like, no, no, it's my fault.

I was going to get a new bike anyway. And he limps away. Maybe that's it. Maybe he's just too polite to press charges, this British man here. June of 2005, this is interesting too here. June of 2005, he is sent home. They're doing a pre-season tour June of 2005, he is sent home. They're doing a preseason tour of Thailand.

Okay. And he is sent home. And the way he puts it, how this evening started, he said there's a player named Richard Dunn, named Dunny, they call him from now on. He said, quote, when Dunny had the bright idea of ordering a couple bottles of wine and then a couple more, the tenor of the night was set. So that tells you right there what's going to go on here. We started boozing early. Yeah. Boozing. It's Thailand. Apparently some of the

Everton fans were there in the bar. And they were talking to them. And he said that one of the Everton fans began to denigrate Robbie Fowler, who's another player, as a cokehead and a coward. Because the guy didn't make the trip to Thailand.

It turns out that Martin says that this Fowler guy was injured, and that's why he wasn't there. And he said, quote, I wasn't going to put up with lazy, vindictive lies about him. I could feel the mist start to descend. I don't know what the fuck that means, but that's frightening. That is scary. know what the fuck that means that's frightening that is yeah scary this man is about to get pummeled into yeah tomorrow it sounds like something a kung fu guy would say in the 70s the mist is descending you're like whoa watch out everybody run everybody run uh so anyway the uh there is a he's talking to some kid it's like like a 15-year-old kid. And they go back and forth.

The kid starts talking shit. This guy's calling him a cokehead. Barton ends up slapping the kid. A 15-year-old. Slaps a teenager, OK? Now, the other guy, the fan, gets away from him and goes and complains about it to the other player, to Dunny, the wine orderer. And Barton said, quote, quote, I went back to my pint and was soon confronted by the by the by Dunn, who was buried, who was buried in booze. And I was.

And so was I. He said, quote, fucking get over there now and apologize. He screamed. I declined. No, thank you. No, thank you. And he said, quote, go over there and apologize for slapping that teenager. Nah, I won't do it, mate.

Decline, mate. Sorry. So he said, quote, Dunny grabbed me by the throat and pushed me back against the wall. That's not polite. He was bigger than me and stronger than me, so wrestling was out of the question. I turned feral and sank my teeth into his fist as hard as I could. Wow. I rugby tackled him before he could react.

Our momentum took us over some steps into a secondary tier where Dunny crashed through a coffee table. A glass coffee table. Over not wanting to apologize. Over not wanting to apologize. Slapping a child. Drunk. This is drunk. This is what happens.

Sober. None of this shit happens. Drunk. This is drunk. This is what happens. Sober. None of this shit happens. Holy fuck. That guy says, that guy's a lazy cokehead. And he looks to his friend and he goes, this fucking jerk off, man. Whatever. Get him out of here. We'll walk away from him.

None of this happens. This is totally drunk here. Fucking dipshit doesn't know what he's talking about. Let's go. So now Dunny has crashed through a glass coffee table from a second tier. Who's cut up? He said, quote, I could hear Dunny screaming. He was being frog-marched to the secure area and was so out of control, he kicked a potted plant, breaking a bone in his foot.

Oh, my God. What a fucking mess. And now a soccer player has a broken foot. Yeah. That's not good. That's terrible. The team owner was pissed. Yeah.

He said, quote, Pierce was unequivocal. He wanted me thrown into Thai jail to await deportation. Club officials were rather less impulsive. They extracted promises that all the damages would be paid for and hustled me out of a side entrance and off to the airport. God, that's so poetic. That is silver hair, middle-aged white man shit right there. They extracted promises.

Extracted promises. That's beautiful. They speak so much better over there. It's amazing. We're such fucking idiots, except for Tottenham. Fuck you. The rest of you are great. But seriously, that's fucking incredible.

They extracted promises. We said we'd pay for our damages, and we left. We told them we'd pay for shit, and then they snuck me out. That's it right there. That's not hustled me out of the side entrance. I'm off to the airport. That sounds great. That sounds classy. Unbelievable. Almost here. So hustled me out of the side entrance. I'm off to the airport. That sounds great. That sounds classy.

Unbelievable. Almost here. So he ends up out of this. He is fined $120,000 by the team and ordered to seek counseling for both his drink and anger issues. Yeah. I would say. For his fucking behavior. So what's the main problems he's got here?

Well, he's drunk and angry. One and two. Let's get bigger at first. What do you say, he's drunk and angry. One and two. Let's take care of that first. What do you say? He's drunk and angry. We'll fix them both. Yeah, we can't deal with one at a time. Those go together. They're hand in hand here.

So now July 30th, 2005. So he's got his own form of fuck-uppery. Let's find out what his brother gets into here. There's a guy named Anthony Walker. He's a British student. There's a guy named Anthony Walker. He's a British student. He's 18 years old. This is in 2005. Like we were saying, July 30, 2005.

His parents are African. He's a black kid in the neighborhood. His parents are really educated. His mother's a lecturer and a professor. He's really into school. He's very smart. His kid's all about school. He's very smart. He's just his kids all about school. Apparently, he spends the evening of July 29th, 2005.

He's at home with his girlfriend. He's hanging out. They're babysitting their nephew, two-year-old nephew. About 11 o'clock, they leave the house. They walk toward a bus stop with their cousin, with his cousin, Marcus. Okay. What they end up encountering is Michael Barton, who is 18 years old at this point. He's his little brother.

Barton starts to, begins to hurl racial slurs at them. Starts like really bad, starts really attacking them with these racial slurs. Yeah. So they end up, the three of them, Anthony and his cousin and the girlfriend, they just they go. They just turn around and walk to another. So they're not even selling it. They won't even give them the satisfaction. They just turn around. They just go, well, fuck him. And we'll just walk. I'm curious what the racial slurs are in England. I wonder if they if they resort to our awful ones. I don't have their own.

I bet they have. I'm sure they have their own. And then there's always I'm sure. Yeah, there's always a there's always the Yeah. There's always a trump card there. There's always the one that'll get you punched in the mouth. The one that will get you murdered. So these people, though, they said, no, we're not going to give in to this shit. Not going to have any of your business. I'm on my way. They're above this.

And they're like, we're not going to give him the satisfaction. They go to another bus stop. And what happens is Barton, the younger brother, not Joey here, and his cousin, Paul Taylor, end up getting in a car and following them. Okay. That's not good. No, they follow them to this park where the bus stop is, and they end up ambushing these people. Oh, my God. Now, the cousin and the girlfriend end up running away to get help.

Yeah. But Anthony Walker, they hit him in the head with an ice axe. Assholes. An ice axe, which gets so far. They hit him so far down, it's lodged in his skull. What the fuck? They can't even get it out at the hospital. Wow.

They lodge a fucking axe in this poor kid's skull. Did nothing wrong. Wow. Nothing wrong. He's just walking down the street trying to get on a bus. Little Barton's an asshole. A fucking asshole.

For sure. And on top of that, not only did nothing wrong, actually tried to walk away from confrontation. Yeah, he tried to get away from this. As mature as you can be. Right.

And he gets fucking a smacks lodge in his skull. Yeah. This leaves him brain dead. He's taken to Whitson Hospital. He dies at 525 AMm they killed this poor guy in the street for nothing just because they felt like yelling racial slurs at him and killing him so this is fucking horrible right obviously we're all on board with the horrible news here

uh the next morning barton and his partner taylor there they jet off to amsterdam they take off yeah because they're wanted yeah uh The police name them as suspects. Publicly, Barton, Joey Barton, makes public appeals on television to turn themselves in. He says on television, quote, you must do this for the Walker family so they can mourn Anthony and because you know it's the right thing to

do. They end up actually on August 3rd, they end up flying back to Liverpool and being arrested. But on all of this, they end up, Joey Barton gets woken up. Michael's got a twin brother, Andrew. And he ends up getting woken up by a phone call from Andrew saying that, quote, someone had been found dead in the park and that an axe had been embedded in his head. My fuck. Didn't say, hey, Michael killed somebody.

So Joey said he telephoned michael the you know see what the hell happened he said his phone was switched off then he got a mess a text from his dad telling him to call him so he called his dad he asked if he known what happened anyway they said keep trying your brother trying to contact michael at first his phone was off and again he finally answered it later on and he asked him what had gone on at the park. His brother said he didn't know. He said he just didn't know. But he said he didn't kill him. He said he phoned.

He said he called Michael back. Joey said that Michael told him, quote, I was there, but I didn't kill him. It was Chomper. It was the other guy. He said, but they do find that it was his axe. It was Michael's axe. Really? So he gave the guy the axe.

The other guy delivered the blow. That's not good. But he gave him the axe, chased him down. Just as bad. Oh, it's just as... You're 50-50. I'm going to shit and put the axe in his skull. You're all guilty. You're a cunt for sure. Yeah. His brother said that he couldn't tell him where he was. Joey said he was in shock.

He said he tried to contact Michael more and more, but he couldn't get a hold of him. Finally, Michael called him back on August 1st, asked him for cash. Yeah. And he said he can't give him cash. He said, you know, he just said he told him that he's got to turn himself in. He's got to turn himself in.

He's on TV doing it. They said he had asked for a thousand pounds, but he said no. So, yeah, the police, he has to go and then explain to the police and to the team why he was in contact with his brother. He said I was trying to get him to fucking turn himself in, which I actually believe in this case. He was like, dude, what are you doing? I'm fuck up enough for this family. What are you doing? There's only room for one fuck up here.

And we have dad already. Yeah. And now me. You got to fucking straighten it up. Not to mention bad publicity for somebody here. I already got a cigar issue. I got problems here. So they come back. They're arrested

on August 3rd when they return to England. So 2005-2006 though, he did have six goals in 31 appearances. Not Michael. Joey did. Nine yellow cards though. He was strong on the yellow cards. Five National Cup appearances that year. So a good year on the field.

Not quite off. Now December 1st, uh taylor and uh and michael barton are sentenced to life in prison for murder wow fair enough uh yeah taylor's minimum was 23 years and eight months and that's life that's chomper it's life but that's their minimum sentence gotcha and uh barton's is 17 years eight 8 months. So Michael's in jail until he's at least 36 out of this whole thing. And he's not far off from being released, honestly. He's five years away from it now. We'll find out how that sentence holds up to him in a little bit here.

2006, 2007, let's have some fun. Oh, boy. September 2006, Barton, apparently Barton gives his shirt to a fan on the side. And while he's doing that, he gets shit from some fans. They start talking shit about his brother. Gotcha. That's what they're doing, obviously. They're going to chant.

That's a good way to rip a guy. Brother's a murderer. Your brother's a murderer. Your brother's a racist Nazi murderer. Yeah, it's hard to. It's a catchy tune. So easy. So Barton, rather than takes a swing at them, he instead moons them twice.

So he ends up getting fined for that. Then he gets $2,000 fine. You're not allowed to fucking moon fans. Can't pull your ass out in a stadium. That's not going to get it. He had a disciplinary hearing over it. They warned him for his future conduct. He said he's had a fair hearing and he'd like to thank the F.A. for that.

He regrets what he did but he's grateful to the FA for recognizing the provocation he had to endure. He said I'm now looking forward to concentrating on preparations for Saturday's game against Sheffield. Motherfucking United. Without the motherfucking. By the way also the fan he gave it to, the shirt, what he was giving it

to when he got shit was a disabled kid too. He was giving a shirt to a young disabled kid. And then he pulled his ass out and pointed kid, too. He was giving his shirt to a young disabled kid. And then he pulled his ass out and pointed it at people. And they were like, yeah, they were like, your brother's a murderer. And he's like, yeah, fuck you, and pointed his ass at a young disabled boy. Wow. 2006, December, he starts talking shit because England did terribly in the World Cup.

And a bunch of people are writing books, like English players are writing autobiographies. Sure. So he's like, what the fuck are they publishing autobiographies for? They're terrible. His quote is, this is great, quote, England did nothing in that World Cup, so why are they bringing books out? We got beat in the quarterfinals. I played like shit. Here's my book.

Who wants to read that? I played like shit. Here's my book. That's phenomenal. So I like this. I like like shit. Here's my book. That's phenomenal. So I like this. I like his mouth. If he wasn't like punching, slapping teenagers and putting everybody he gets in trouble for fucking with is in their teen years, too, which is fucking weird as we'll get into this.

What a pussy. So far, we've had the cigar kid slapping the other kid in Thailand. It's both times. He's got a teenage kid in a wheelchair. Yeah, that's it, man. And now he's got a teenage kid in a wheelchair. Yeah, that's it, man. And so he gets called up to the full, I guess, England squad of the national team in February 2007. They have a friendly match against Spain.

I'm sure he bit somebody's nose off and spit it in their face. Pulled his dick out somewhere. Ran in the crowd, slapped his wife, put his cock on his daughter's head. It's right on top of the head. So that's for you, love. Walk back on the field. Something like that. I'm dressed like Jimmy Savile for a reason.

You'll get on with it. So, yeah. 2006, 2007, 33 appearances, six goals, 10 yellow cards that year. Sweet peach. Oh, baby, he's cooking six goals now. That's better. Four National Cups, one goal in that, and four National Cups appearances. Now, March 2007, you'd think he would get his shit together now.

Once his brother, you'd think he'd be like, I'm not fucking around anymore, straight and narrow. Middle of the night, he is arrested on suspicion of vandalizing a taxi after the driver refused to take him through the McDonald's drive-thru in Liverpool. So what did he do? Well, let's find out. All right. Jesus Christ, it's so stupid here. So he's with his cousin. Yeah. Barton, I guess, is with his 19-year-old cousin here.

I guess the driver, a guy named Michael McKay, had refused to wait on the line at the drive-thru for them. He said, we already contracted me for where we're going, and I'm not taking a fucking alternate route. So Barton then became aggressive, we're going, and I'm not taking a fucking alternate route. So Barton then became aggressive, because he's drunk, I'm sure. He becomes super aggressive. If he wasn't drunk, he'd be driving his own fucking car. Yeah, exactly.

So they end up saying, well, we want to go somewhere else then. And he said, no, you can't go somewhere else. I already said where we're going. So Barton ends up getting out. Well, someone gets out and rips the radio out of the cab okay rips the radio out of the cab okay uh which i find amazing here i find that mind-blowing insane how do you just rip a radio out like the like the like the dispatch radio with like the walkie talkie or like did he pull it out of the fucking dash? I don't think he pulled an AM FM percent out of the dash here.

I think he pulled out the dispatch radio. Even still, that's bolted down. Because he was probably on it going, I've got to get these guys out. And he said, oh yeah, and fucking ripped the goddamn thing out. He ends up saying, look, the driver says, look, you just get out. Because they had already paid up front. He said, you get out and I'll give you back some of your money and it's just fine. I just don't want to deal with you guys.

Just go your way. I'll go mine. So they're with their girlfriends. The girls get out, but they don't get out. The men refuse to get out. So this driver drives to a police station, which is closed. Police station closes? It's closed.

Yeah. Smaller town police stations. It's closed. It's a smaller police station. station closes it's closed yeah smaller town police stations closes smaller police stations so uh what he ends up saying is uh he says that uh that that barton and the cousin said now they want a full refund and so they end up smashing the partition what in between them they start smashing and kicking it uh he says he's you know yelling for help that'll get your money back yeah he yeah exactly yeah he got the radio back at this point, and he was calling in that they had a, quote, yellow one, which is hilarious, because that means that he's being attacked by passengers and it's escalated.

It's like a yellow card. So he just turned around and showed him a card and wrote down some shit on a little notebook. He got a yellow card in a taxi. He got a yellow card. It's amazing. The driver said, quote, I heard a crack turned around and there was this yanking and yanking and it smashed and it smashed he grabbed a hold of me he was strangling me so this is crazy so then three other drivers came in and they all you know get the may there's a

little melee and then uh barton and wilson take off here barton does not claim that's true barton claims that he was offering him more money to get him to go through the drive-thru and the guy got mad and just started driving really fast like a lunatic and trying to scare them, which doesn't seem right. Yeah. I mean, neither of them are natural reactions to the question that was posed. Neither of them. No, not at all here. Not at all. You generally don't react to, to no, I'm not taking you there, to ripping a car apart. No, and that's odd. I'm trying to break the partition out, and he just wants McDonald's. This is a lot of McDonald's.

You really want McDonald's. He says the driver said he didn't see, or Barton said that the driver, quote, didn't seem to be in control and seemed to be going really mad. Yeah, he said he just wanted to forget about the money and get out of the cab, but he wouldn't stop. It's pretty much like that. But the other part is when you hear that story as a police officer, whoever's investigating, you see a cracked partition and a CB radio ripped out of a fucking car,

and you have two stories that one doesn't corroborate the evidence that's there. Yeah, that's the fucking thing. That doesn't, a broken partition and a ripped out CB doesn't say this guy was driving erratically. No. That's the problem. And also, too, one of the other drivers apparently came to his aid, to the driver's aid, and they said that he had a bat with him. He had a cricket bat, and he had taken off his glasses and was shouting, come on, Barton, which I don't see happening.

I don't see happening. We're going to fucking throw down with this guy right now. I don't see that happening. But he says that's what happened. And that's why the police found him hiding, quote, in a wheelie bin in a garden for an hour. What is a wheelie bin? I don't know what the fuck a wheelie bin, but something in a garden. A wheelbarrow maybe?

Maybe. He's hiding in someone's garden for an hour. and he had to explain if he was so innocent, why did he hide in a garden. Why was he hiding? Because I was so scared of this other guy with a bat. No. It ends up, they take 15 minutes to acquit Barton of the charge. Oh.

Ends up later on, his cousin confesses to doing all this shit. Oh. So they end up getting his cousin on something and he pays a fine. April 2007, he's pissed off at his team. Yeah. He's saying he's pissed off at Manchester City, saying it feels like the club is just praying to get the right players this summer. We can't gamble on players who have scored six goals in six games in the

Pontons League or some league in Belgium, he says. So he's talking shit basically uh so the uh the manchester city manager stewart pierce bans him from speaking to the media hilarious which he never does and by the way he never shuts the fuck up on twitter oh my god he's the tweetinest athlete we've ever had holy shit what an asshole i. May 2007, he's in a practice session with a teammate named Usmani Dabo. And what ends up happening is he attacks Dabo and beats him very severely, damaging his cornea and detaching his retina from his eye. Fucks this guy up good. Just punching him right in the eye.

He's really attacking the eyes. He's attacking the eyes. This is with his fist, at least, here. That was in May of 2007, so he's had some issues with aggression. August 22, 2007, he takes part in a police-backed fishing expedition at Witten Park near Bishop, Auckland, and County Durham. Jesus, those are long names. He managed to catch a number of fish that day. Durham. Jesus, those are long names.

He managed to catch a number of fish that day. He was at the headquarters of, quote, Get Hooked on Fishing, which was launched by the police force in that area seven years ago. Yeah. So there's that. They call it a scheme, a police-backed angling scheme, which I think sounds like they're trying to trick the kids into

fishing, which is very strange. Maybe they're tricking them into fishing instead of coke. You know what I mean? That's possible. That's what it feels like. Get hooked on fishing, not that cocaine. Now the problem is Dabo, his teammate, decides to press charges and he is charged with assault on that. So that's not terrific here.

He ends up being bailed out, but he is charged with assault on a teammate, which sounds terrible. 2007-2008 season, he has had the Manchester City's had enough of him sure he ends up going to newcastle united december 27 2007 yeah uh he is uh it's a long night basically there's a game that day uh he sits out the game it's the boxing day game he had an injury but he goes out in liverpool all night and drinks just a lot. It's December 27.

Ends up he's outside of a McDonald's again. What the people ended up seeing is what he would do is he was going around basically from group of people to group of people trying to start fights. There's surveillance footage of this. This is crazy. He ends up and it's a 16-year-old kid is one person he finds. He punches somebody a few times, and he ends up getting a 16-year-old kid, knocks him down. He's straddling over him, punching him in the face, punches him 20 times, over 20 times from the video.

I've seen the video. It's on YouTube. We'll put it on our social media. Fantastic. Punching him. Not only does he start punching him, then his female cousin starts coming over and starts punching him. Some chick in a dress starts hitting him.

His other cousin starts hitting this kid. Eventually, he kind of picks the kid up and shoves him off. And the video's fucked up because there's a garbage truck coming. It looks like he threw him in front of a garbage truck. He didn't because then you see him stumble off. But it looks so much like he threw him in front of a garbage truck, which would have been an amazing end to that video. Amazing end to that video.

He is arrested, obviously. The kid has broken teeth. He's 16 years old. They beat the shit out of this fucking kid. Has punched him repeatedly in the face. He gets no bail and he has to sit in jail through New Year's. Oh, boy. So that's rough there.

What about the female accomplice? Does she have to sit too? She ends up having some things too we'll talk about here. That's his cousin, Nadine Wilson. She and her brother, this is Andrew Barton, his other brother, they end up pleading guilty to their parts in the assaults there. there. Keegan, Keegan, knew him when he was the manager there,

said there were a number of issues in his life and events, some of which have been very well documented. Had I been asked to give character evidence for him, I probably wouldn't have been able to do so. They told him. So they were like, I couldn't. I don't have any. I can't speak to anything positive about this fucking guy. Then he added that since this incident, there

has been a quote massive change in barton oh he's now a far more responsible individual of silver-haired middle-aged white man to the end saying he's good now you bet he's good now he's changed it all he's saying he's he's he's a complete total abstinence from alcohol uh he says that barton despises the man he comes after he consumes alcohol uh he the sentencing judge told him in this whole thing, quote, the most serious of the three offenders is you. You were restrained by others, but ignored them and acted in an extremely violent and aggressive manner.

You have a high profile as a footballer and you know, that draws attention to you. You let you, yet you drank it to excess and behaved in an aggressive and disgraceful manner. You, sir, may fuck off in jail for six months for assault. That's not bad. He gets jailed for six months. Yeah. Yeah, eat shit. He seemed excited, too, the judge, to tell him to fuck off.

He said also he was fined $2,500. That was to pay the kid whose teeth he broke. He had to pay him. $2,500. $2,500 bar pounds, not dollars. That's 2,500 he ever spent. Absolutely. No shit.

Andrew Barton was jailed for four months. Yep. And his cousin, the woman there, received a six-month sentence suspended for two years. Wow. For a fray and common assault. He ends up serving 74 days in jail. Jesus. So a little less.

Yeah. July 2008, he's released. Two months. Two months. Two and a half, whatever. Jesus. So a little less. Yeah. July 2008, he's released. Two months. Two months. Two and a half, whatever. Yeah. He's released then. And then right away, he's got more court.

This is for the Dabo incident, for beating up his teammate. It might be Dabo, and I have no fucking idea. It doesn't matter. July 2008, he's given a four-month suspended jail sentence. I think that you would, this is another offense. Stack them up, yeah. And a 12-match ban from the league. He's out for 12 months.

Yeah, six of them suspended, though. So it's really six games in the other case. He acts like an asshole. They can slap him back on. This was after Barton changed his plea. He originally pled not guilty, and then he ended up pleading guilty. All right. So he gets a four four months suspended sentence plus 200

hours of community service and he's ordered to pay $3,000 to Dabo in compensation. Dabo gets three grand but the kid whose teeth he blasted out gets $2,500. And Dabo's a professional soccer player. He probably has money to pay for his goddamn teeth. This other kid doesn't have it here.

August 15th, 2008 Barton is facing legal action brought up by Jamie Tandy for ruining his entire career. Really? Yes. The drunk guy has a thought to sue? He has a thought to sue. He claimed he suffered, quote, a major psychiatric deterioration following the assault that forced him out of the game. following the assault that forced him out of the game.

He said that his lawyer said, quote, Mr. Tandy is a client of ours and we are in the process of launching civil proceedings. As a result of the assault by Joey Barton, our client has suffered a major psychiatric deterioration in his health that has destroyed any chance he may have had of playing professional football at a high level. I just saw a drunk guy sitting watching, like, the Premier Cup League soccer and just going, I could have been a contender. Yeah, that was me. And then his drunk friend on the couch next to him was like, you should sue, man.

You should totally sue. Yeah, he's like fucking Rudy 20 years later. That was better than they gave him credit for. Who he is now. If it wasn't for that goddamn cigar in my fucking eye, I'd be a hero. He's complaining to his nieces and nephews at Thanksgiving. They'd had enough.

They're like, you know what, can you sue the guy, please, so we can get over this? No shit, man. Kevin Keegan, who's now Newcastle's manager, says he supports Barton's continued rehabilitation, and he's good now. This is past that time. I'm going to take a quick break from the show to tell you a little bit more about True Car.

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What a deal. So let me tell you this from us. When you're ready to buy, visit True Car to enjoy a more confident car buying experience. Some features not available in all states. Yes, that's true. But go to truecar.com to find out. And now back to the show. This is Susie Schuster, and I'm with Rich Eyes and my husband.

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Please don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts. Please don't forget. November 2008. It's his fourth game back playing for Newcastle after he's out of jail and all his legal shit are done here. He apparently throws a racial slur at an Aston Villa striker, Gabrielle Agban, Agban, a lore, a banal lore. Uh, the apparently throws a racial slur,

which I would be extra careful of throwing racial slurs. If my brother was convicted for a racial fucking ax murder, I would be like, that is not me. A racist hate crime. I love black. I would be fucking forget about it. I would marry a black woman.

Darker skin than me. Please don't think I'm a racist murderer. I beg of you. All of you. I'm blacks. I would be fucking forget about it. I would marry a black woman. Darker skin than me. Please don't think I'm a racist murderer. I beg of you, all of you. I'm not. I swear to God. So, yeah, they end up not pursuing any disciplinary action. The F.A., for some reason, there was no proof of it, I guess. Wow.

May 2009, he is sent home after he comes back from an injury, after lunging at a fellow player again. He injured himself trying to hurt someone. No, no, no. He came back from an injury, got right into attacking people. After that, Zabi Alonso attacks this guy, and then he's suspended by the club two days later after that, after he gets in a fight with his manager, Alan Shearer.

My Christ. So he can't stop fighting with everybody, teammates, teenagers, people in the street. He doesn't care. Taxi drivers. Yeah. He's a menace to society, this fucking guy. 2008, 2009, though, he has nine appearances, one goal,

two yellow cards for that. 2009, 2010 season, Newcastle's dropped to the Championship League. They're out of the Premier League that year because they sucked, apparently. He has 15 appearances, one goal, one yellow card as Newcastle wins the Championship League title that year. So that's good. They end up getting back into the Premier League. He's a good friend of the boxer Ricky Hatton. Oh, really?

Yeah, he's a good friend of his. He's trained with him before, like physical shit. This tells you he's a dickhead here. He's also a good friend of Noel Gallagher, the Oasis guy. I don't know which one's the asshole or if they're both an asshole. Oasis, the band? The band? Really?

Yeah. Which one's the asshole? I would have no fucking idea. But he's friends with one of them. I assume the asshole. Anybody that's in the band is an asshole. I assume he's friends with whoever's the bigger asshole. Yeah.

He's probably friends. Well, you would hate them because they're the wannabe Beatles. So you hate the actual Beatles. They're god awful. Not like that. He also owns a racehorse around this time with another football player. Named Crying Lightning is the name of the racehorse. So, I mean, that's just a douchery there.

So 2010 through 2011 season, Newcastle is back in the Premier League. Back in the high life again. Moving on up to the east side. Steve Wynwood. That's right. Steve Wynwood and the Jeffersons are mixed together. Really? Oh, yeah.

I got you. We're going there here. November 2010, he's banned for a few games after punching Blackburn winger Morton Gamps Peterson. Sweet Pete. Punches him. He's charged with violent conduct by the FA, which is the football association here. He has to go before a hearing for violent conduct like an asshole. Complete asshole.

2010-2011 stats, though. He has 32 appearances, four goals. That's outstanding. Punch all the people you want. This is what I mean. Well, 2010-2011 stats, though, he has 32 appearances, four goals, eight yellow cards. Punch all the people you want. This is what I mean. He keeps getting away with shit because he's a good player. So they're like, I don't know. He punches people sometimes.

Don't get in his face, I guess. I don't know what to tell you. You're a coach. Coach lightly. Coach gingerly around the edges. Just tread lightly and just push him in the general direction. Yeah, no shit, man. and just push him in the general direction.

Yeah, no shit, man. He, May 25, 2011, his agent says that he will not be signing a new contract with his team here with Newcastle. He is officially transfer listed by Newcastle, which I think it means he's up for whatever the fuck here. He ends up, so he declines their contract offer. They gave him two different contract offers. One was in August of 2011, and they give him one in may and one in august and he rejects them both he's given permission to talk to the queens park rangers uh so he he goes talks to them 2011 too he began begins writing a regular column in in a newspaper called the big issue which is a street newspaper sold by the homeless.

What? He's got a column in it? He's got a column in it to the homeless. Is that prestigious? I don't know if that's... Yeah, he's a journalist now. Is that something you brag about? There's 60 Minutes, you know what I mean?

There's the New York Times. You can work for a new BBC. And then you can write for The Big Issue and have it sold by a homeless man. The Big Issue, it's big so they can use it to wipe their ass. That's what it is. It's got to be big because they need some toilet paper. 2011, 2012, he starts with Newcastle for the beginning, but then he's gone before he plays.

August 2011, he talks about he's a flopper. He likes to pretend like he's getting hit and other guys get tossed up. He got a guy, an Arsenal player, tossed out of a game for hitting him, and then he admits that he was exaggerating later on. He's like, yeah, I wasn't hurt. I just got that guy fucking tossed. He tries to start shit to get other people thrown out of games. That's what he does.

He'll try to incite you. You take a swing at him, you get tossed out of the game. Half the time, though, he ends up taking the swing and he gets tossed out of the game. So it's really, really different here. It backfires on him a little. A little bit, yeah. August 26, 2011, he signs a four-year deal with Queens Park Rangers. He is immediately handed the captain's armband, it says here.

Right away. Right away. Right away. That's your guy. You're the captain. That's the guy that we look up to you're the guy mr jesus so everyone punched people just like him here apparently newcastle's uh managing director derrick uh lumbias may talk some shit about him in december of 2011 as a player

uh so he just called he said that barton called this guy owner Mike Ashley's, quote, fat mate. That's what he called him. That's amazing right there. Just in public? Just like some magazine? Yeah, he tweets it. Oh, he just tweets it. He's just like, that's just his fat mate.

What do I care what he has to fucking think? 2011, December 28th, things are going so well right now. What do you do? You bring a son into the world. Fuck yes. Let's have some kids, everybody. Let's do it. He's hanging around his hometown. He's done everything but find religion.

Let's have a kid. At least he doesn't name him after himself. Yeah, no doubt. He names him Cassius. kids, everybody. Let's do it. He's hanging around his hometown. He's done everything but find religion. Let's have a kid. At least he doesn't name him after himself. Yeah, no doubt. He names him Cassius. Oh, boy. All right, fine. You name him after Muhammad Ali. That's fine.

That's better than fucking Junior. It's fine here. Now, January 30, 2012, he participates in a BBC uh, telling his support of gay rights for football players and everything else. Not good for him. Uh, he was, uh, the presenter was the niece of, uh, Justin, uh, Fashanu, who was the only gay, openly gay footballer in England at the time. So he was saying that, uh, it's a subject that it's quite close to his heart.

He said his uncle was gay. Martin was saying, and, uh, he said that certain managers will discriminate against people. So he's just on here being supportive of gay rights in sports and in general. So he did something half-fucking-decent here. May 13, 2012, final day of the season. His team needs at least a draw in their match to guarantee that they stay in the Premier League here.

And Barton is sent off. He's fucked off in the 55th minute for violent conduct after he elbows a guy named Carlos Tevez in the face. Jesus. In the fucking face. In the face. He has shown the red card. He says, fuck it, I'm already out.

So he kicks a guy named Sergio Aguero in the back of the knee and attempts to headbutt a guy named Vincent Campani. So he just went nuts. They said, you're out. And he said, all right, kick, headbutt, fuck everybody. Just started swinging around like a madman, like a Tasmanian devil and shit, like a lunatic.

He had to be dragged from the field by a former teammate named Micah Rogers. And as he did that, he was actually fighting with the staff players of Manchester City. He tried to square off with a guy named Mario Bolotelli, a striker. He's just trying to fight everybody. He's that guy who went nuts and got thrown out of the bar, and he tried to fight the bouncers and the bartender and some lady who came out of the bathroom.

After the match, he tweets out that he was just, quote, trying to, quote, take one of their players with me. So you can't do that, apparently. They end up, F.A. responds by issuing two charges of violent conduct against him. One for the kick, one for the headbutt. And, yeah, so not terrific here. He's having problems. Now, on Twitter, he's the head butt. So not terrific here. He's having problems. On Twitter, he's like, it's fine. He's like,

what are we talking about here? He says, things happen on the pitch in the heat of the battle sometimes. Now how we always plan them, not how we always plan them to happen, still don't think it is ascending off. The head was never gone at any stage. Once I'd been sent off, one of our don't think uh still don't think it is ascending off the head was the heather the head was never

gone at any stage once i'd been sent off one of our players suggested i should try to take one of theirs with me never worked but uh but god loves a trier so he's like look they i tried to get him might as well take a couple guys with me while i'm out anyway which i guess god loves a trier james god loves a trier right this guy god loves a trier. Right. This guy. He's talking about God. Maybe he is finding religion. Oh, fuck no. Jesus, it's going to get really bad now. Yeah. He ends up getting punished in May of 2012.

He gets a 12-match ban and fines $75,000 for all of this horseshit, for his complete fucking idiocy and knickery of the whole deal. Commission sits him down and says, you're a jerk-off. Get out of here for a while. 12 matches and 75 grand, so he probably doesn't get the money for the 12 matches either. And he's fine, too. He lost a shitload of money there, which maybe that'll

get through his goddamn skull. June 2012, he is out late in Liverpool again. Stop going out home. You know bad shit's gonna happen. He is out late in Liverpool again. Stop going out home. You know bad shit's going to happen. He is punched in the face after an altercation with two men outside of a gay nightclub. So he's fighting two dudes out front of a gay nightclub. Presumably two gay guys he's fighting in the thing.

He's with his girlfriend here still. Like, she's with him. They went out to whatever. This is the police. There's pictures of him shirtless. He's punched in the fucking head the whole deal shirt off yeah he's uh we don't know if it got ripped off or what happened here uh he's they said he was physically removed from the premise and then from the premises and then uh two people attacked him he said he was punched in the head uh and he said on twitter later that night he said quote i got sucker

punched in the back of the head not injured as reported just a small bruise on the rear of the head ear i've had worse life goes on thanks for the concern have a good day people what the fuck is wrong with this guy this is a 5 30 in the goddamn morning wow i mean from that you gotta they let him i mean he got sucker punched so he didn't get fucking taken into custody. Right. Now he's drunk, shirtless. Think about that. Drunk, shirtless with his girlfriend, and he's got a, she's probably pissed off at him.

She's furious. This is supposed to be a nice night. It's supposed to be. We were supposed to go out and hang out with the gays tonight. This is not supposed to happen. What the fuck's going on? But he's been drinking all night, too know what i mean shirtless and drunk and punched in the head and that's when you get hungry you get a little hungry you walk around you smell

and he goes i smell that and he walks into a shop and it's a shawarma man holy shit and he says how is it you've come to arrive here? Why are you here? Your brother kill man, okay? Kill man, he say N-word hit with axe. No good. Even in my country, that considered bad juju. You know, you know do. Now you do stupid, you should be good now.

What's wrong with you? Why? Now you come here, you want shawarma from me? You want shawarma? Why? You call me, what? That's not, you call me slur now. No, I was going, may I have lamb? Why? Now you come here, you want shawarma from me? You want shawarma? Why? You call me, oh, you want, what, that's not the, you call me slur now. No, I was going, may I have lamb? I make for you. Now, no,

you go. Do you have, do you have cocaine because shawarma man have broth? No? You're done with that part of your life? That is good to hear, but you get to get out. Go, you got out of my store. Signs say close. Go, go. You go. Poof. It's outside and a puff of tzatziki sauce and pita pockets.

He's gone. He's like, what the fuck just happened? What happened? He's very confused. His head hurts. He thinks maybe it's the head injury that did it to him. He's not sure. The club is going to do an internal investigation about this because it's just more nickery.

So, on June 25, 2012, they say that they are going to uh find him six weeks wages which is about half a million pounds holy shit strip him of his captaincy uh so yeah he also uh is removed from the club's pre-season tour of asia which is probably good because last time he's smacking around kids right uh yeah and also too they reach an agreement with him he's on like last chance here they reach an agreement that if he seriously breaches any more disciplinary procedures, they reserve the right to terminate his contract. And he says, quote, my behavior was wrong and I accept the punishment that has been imposed to me upon me as a result. So, fine. He did have three goals and 31 appearances and eight yellow cards that year.

and eight yellow cards that year. July 19th, they tell him from the police that he's not going to face any action or any kind of legal problem for being punched in the head last week and getting in that. The 2012-2013 season, he is loaned to Marseille of Ligue 1. Ligue 1 of France. It's a French... I don't fucking know.

It's the French Premier League, basically. Ligue 1 of France. It's a French. I don't fucking know. It's the French Premier League, basically. One French Premier League here. He goes to play for them. He has an interview with ESPN at that point. And we have an in their own words about his whole time in QPR with the Rangers there and what happened. And he says in their own words, quote, When I went to QPR, it was a choice dictated by money. I didn't like what I had done, and I swore I'd never do that again.

It was the first time in my life I had taken a decision for money. I did it because my partner was due to give birth, but I did not feel good about it. The more money you have, the more problems you have. When I was in prison, I got seven pounds a week, and that was simpler. You'd use the seven pounds to buy food, and that was it. Yeah, no shit. That's how it works. It's much simpler, yes. And you shit into a steel toilet that everybody else shits in.

That's it. In front of everybody else. More money, more problems. I feel you, man. More money, more problems, and less money, more shit in a steel toilet in front of everybody. So it's really bad. Less money sounds worse. Less money, more shit in a steel toilet in front of everybody. So it's really bad. Less money sounds worse. Less money, many more problems.

Problems is vague. Shitting in a toilet in a steel toilet in front of everybody. That is, I can see that. That's a definite problem. That is not vague at all. Yeah, not even close to vague. May 6, 2013, there's a newspaper article here where he basically, another coach in the French League here, Silva, I guess he made reference to English players who had come in and he said one guy whose name he had forgotten in the article. So what ends up happening is Barton gets pissed off about it. And the manager here, the Silva guy, says, well, he's just mad because nobody's talking

about him. So, uh, you know, he goes to Twitter and he says, quote, I guess he said something good about Silva before this. He says, Barton says, quote, I have to take back what I said about Thiago Silva being overrated today. Been immense tonight. Still looks like an overweight lady boy though. Looks like an overweight ladyboy, though. Looks like

an overweight ladyboy! Exclamation point. He looks like a fat transsexual. That is fucked up. His next tweet is, quote, two questions for Thiago Silva. Firstly, why are you talking about me in your press conference

before the game? Very strange. Secondly, are you you talking about me in your press conference before the game? Very strange. Secondly, are you pre-op or post-op? So he's fucking with this guy. Pretty good. You know, the league, the football league. That is brutal, man. It's fucking amazing. And the funny part is, too, like they end up.

That's not the funny part. They end up suspending him two games. But at first they said they couldn't punish him because they couldn't act because the comments were in English. So it's different. You say anything you want in another language. It's fine here. That's hilarious, man. Are you throwing your post off?

That's awesome. Laurent Devinas, the president. So I'm taking all that stuff that he did for gay rights is just a front to make him look better? Well, this is what gets him actually out of this shit, though. Laurent Devinas, the president of the French Football Federation Ethics Council, said that Barton was punished only for making inappropriate remarks and escaped more severe punishment because his lawyers proved his lack of homophobic intent by showing the committee Barton's appearance in the BBC three documentary Homophobia and Football. That doesn't tell me that he's not homophobic. No. Well, they didn't care.

They just said, plus, he's really, really good. He plays very well in the soccer. He plays very well on the pitch. So we let him stay. He's good. Oh, my God. We're silver-haired white men who smoke. So, yeah, he has 25 appearances, six yellow cards, no goals that year for Marseille.

I'm going out on a limb and saying he's homophobic as fuck. It sounds like he's racist and homophobic, if I'm being honest, but I don't know. We know how it's in his heart and shit. 2013, 2014, he goes back to QPR, the Queens Park Rangers, even though he said he's never going back there again. September 27, 2003, he is going back to school to earn a philosophy degree. What? He's 2013.

He's constantly quoting Nietzsche and shit. Get out of here. He's 2013. Okay, got it. He's constantly quoting Nietzsche and shit. Get out of here. Yeah, he's quoting shit. If you tweet Nietzsche, you're missing the fucking point right there. You're an asshole. Right there. Right there. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

He said he went to his first lecture. He posted on Twitter, off to my first lecture this afternoon, eyes peeled, ears open, brain engaged. Oh, boy. Fist throwing. That was written on a fucking open, brain engaged. Oh, boy. Fist throwing. That was written on a fucking poster at the school. I guarantee it. Fists balled.

Yeah. December 21st, 2013, he is kicked out of a game for receiving two quick yellow cards after fouling someone and then throwing a ball at a referee in anger. Holy shit. So that's not great. Somebody picks up the ball and drills the ref with it. Yeah. Wow.

Now he's talking political shit in January 2017. He's saying that residents of Channel 4's Benefit Street, which is a documentary about people low income, I think, here, should not be allowed to have children. He said after watching the show, he tweeted, this is what he tweeted, strong evidence to support the breeding license theory. You need a license to drive a car. You need a license for a TV.

You need a license for a gun. A license to drive a forklift truck. Yet anyone can have a child. Nothing else needed except a sexual appetite. Surely you don't have to pass. Surely you should have to pass the test or at least show you're capable of looking after kids. Surely. Really?

I mean. Okay. Okay kids. Surely? Really? You're going to... I mean... Okay. But you? You? Really? You're going to talk about you should be able to have kids? Exactly.

How about a bunch of arrests disqualifies you right away? How's that? So fuck you and your one kid. Fucking idiot. How about fist fighting on a fucking soccer field? Not to mention stabbing a man in the face with a lit cigar. Yeah. You're an asshole, sir.

Not to mention he's talking about who should be allowed to have kids. I don't know about you, but I don't know anyone with a family member who's convicted of a racially motivated killing should probably stay away from anything resembling eugenics in their tweets. You know what I mean? Right. Let's not talk about who's allowed to have kids and who's not and all that kind of shit. Gene pools shouldn't be so overpoppopulated really your brother fucking stabbed a guy in the head with a lot all bunch of times once but it got lodged in there he did have a good season in 2013 2014 three goals and 14 yellow cards so that's a lot june 6th uh june 6th 2014 which by the way

this is only six months after he made the statement about licenses for kids. His girlfriend gives birth to their second child. Oh, Christ. So fuck you. Talk about that shit. And by the way, you don't necessarily have to have a sexual appetite to have a kid. No. It's there.

His whole logic was fucked. Yeah, he's just an idiot. July 25th, 2014, he gets into an argument on Twitter over the Gaza and Israel conflict. Oh, for fuck's sake. Enough of you. You try to punch people in the dick. I'm not interested in your geopolitical fucking opinions at all. Not about eugenics, about any of this shit.

Don't tell me how we can fix the Middle East, sir. Dude, he's a total asshole that took two philosophy classes and now he's got the innocent children. That's fine, but not from you. You're a dummy. We don't want to hear your fucking horse shit. 2014, 2015, he's back with Queens Park Rangers in the Premier League. In an article in The Independent, he writes that, quote, if I were prime minister, I would privatize religion. All public money would be withdrawn from religion.

Taxpayers money would cease to sponsor religion in every way and form. He said that the Church of England should be deestablished. While I agree with that, again, nobody wants to hear it from me or him. It's not your place. Not my place. That's why I don't say it on the show. I don't care. And he should shut the fuck up, too.

Jesus Christ. So anyway, he is appointed later that year as an honorary associate of the National Secular Society. Oh, Christ. So they don't need him as a representative. That just makes them look stupid. May 21, 2015, he gets a first-half red card after a shove on one defender is followed by taking a swing at Tom Huddlestone's groin. Okay. So now he's dick punching.

Now we're talking. Yeah. So he gets tossed for that. He says, I've apologized to the lads and I would like to apologize to all QPR fans who traveled today. And that guy's dick. He fights like me. He's just dirty. He doesn't care.

Biting fists. Throwing dicks. Throwing dicks? No. Throwing punches. He fights like me. He's just dirty, doesn't care. Biting fists, throwing dicks. Throwing dicks? No, throwing punches. Throwing dicks. That's a terrible way to fight, throwing dicks. Yeah, that's terrible. Throwing punches at dicks, stabbing people with lit cigars. That's just dirty fighting.

He doesn't even know. And the only way he can fight in a fair way is when he fights 16-year-olds, which is still unfair. Yeah. And what he says, his excuse for this is my actions toward Huddlestone were certainly not malicious. You tried to punch him in the dick. That's malicious. That's as malicious as it gets.

I would fucking say so. You should have hit him in the head with an ice hatchet, you dickhead. Christ, it was a stupid reaction to being barged, but I can appreciate it wasn't right. So, wow. What a fucking mess here. He's just, this is a goddamn disaster. His coach says, quote, there was a bit of a melee, and obviously the referee saw something that wasn't legal,

and he has sent Joey off. He's a wholehearted player. He's more disappointed for the boys as he's a massive player for us. He says, I'm sure if the incident isn't a good one when we review it, Joey will be the first one to put his hand up and admit that he probably should have acted in a different manner. I would rather look at it in the cold light of day when tempers and emotions have calmed down than discuss it with the player at that point. In other words, I'd like to let it blow over and then ignore it forever.

Right. Because it's easier. Right. Just do that. Just forget it. Are they going to bring it up in two weeks when it's fine now? No. You bring it up now or else not at all. Right. Just do that. Just forget it. Are they going to bring it up in two weeks when it's fine now? No. You bring it up now or else not at all.

Right. So he's just like, I'm just going to let you. He's like a parent that's like, I just let them do whatever. And then later on, at the end of the day, we just talk about everything that's happened. No. Correct that shit. That's not how you fix it. That's not how you fix it.

So holy fuck, what a goddamn embarrassment. He's almost as worse of an embarrassment to his family than his goddamn brother is. What is worse? Like being able to play Premier League soccer or fucking stabbing a man in the head and killing him? At least if it wasn't for this guy, if it wasn't for Joey. That's what I mean, like being a complete fuck up like this. Yeah, well, if it wasn't for Joey, no one would even know about his brother. He'd just be some random asshole in jail.

Exactly. But instead, this guy, now he's famous. And so I think it's worse to have a famous guy who's a complete fuck up in your family here because he's embarrassed his whole family he's embarrassed every team he's been on he's fucked people over for money attack guys eyes multiple times detach retinas cigars in the eyes punches in the dick i feel bad for all these people jimmy all these people but not nearly as bad as I feel. And there's 400 of them, so I'm just going to give a couple because Joey Barton is a common name. As bad as I feel for Joey Barton, a correctional officer at the Federal Bureau of Prisons in Panama City, Florida.

This guy goes to prison every day in Florida, and I still feel terrible. Wow. He gets paid to go to prison every day, and it's still a worse person. It's still worse. A worse life. He's so hard to find. It's still worse. Or worse life. He's so hard to find. This is all the Joey Barton you're going to find. And finally, Joey Barton, director of critical care at Olaf Medical Center in Kansas City, Missouri.

Oh, wow. So this is like a serious person. Yeah. And people think he punches people in the dick and puts cigars out in teenagers' eyes. Holy shit. So he does have 11 yellow cards that season and 28 appearances with one goal so that's not bad may 2015 uh the queens park rangers announced they're going to release him in the summer he's released in aug on august 10th uh west ham was interested west

ham united was interested in signing him uh he went to a game uh that they of theirs to watch and they lost and afterwards he said quote judging by game, it won't be long before I get a phone call from somebody to sign with them. The best the best player might be sitting in the stands this afternoon, even if I do say so myself. Holy shit. So two days later, their co-chairman said that the deal was off and they want nothing to fucking do with them.

Fans are pissed off at him and they've lodged protests against signing. Wow. Like, fuck this guy. Do not hire him. Not at all. So August 27th, he joins Burnley. Burnley for a one-year contract. The Clarets are their nickname.

That sounds like fear in my heart. Give me a piece of that Claret, would you? This is a championship league they're in this year. December 21st, 2015, Jamie Tandy, remember him? Yeah. He's in all sorts of trouble for a series of assaults on his partner, Lisa Stewart. He throttled her, punched her, choked her through a mobile phone, hit her in the eye. He's got all sorts of problems, and he's still blaming Joey for it, too.

My Christ. He's still saying, it's all that fucking guy's fault. I would have a career, and I wouldn't be a bum. Did he punch your wife, sir? He was putting up scaffolding as a job. His life went downhill big time when he turned into an abuser and big time into this domestic violence. He just repeatedly beating up his girlfriend seems to be the problem. And you know what?

I agree. Fuck Barton. Fuck him. It is his fucking fault. This is his fucking fault. I mean, to an extent, but he fucking caused this quicker. Yeah, he got him into this fucking... He expedited this.

Yes, he definitely started that tailspin. Now, what Barton does in response to this is he, on Twitter, calls him... Let's see what he says here. He sends off 3 a.m. rants, basically, here to this. He says that Tandy lost his home. He said that he tried to commit suicide twice, that he owes a a bunch of money and that basically he's a piece of shit uh he says that uh uh he says quote he was gobshite a long time before i went anywhere near him how many times is a judge going to buy his shit uh he said reason why he never made it is because he was

simply overweight and lacked desire and talent nobody Nobody to blame but himself. He also was missing a fucking eye. He forgets that he set my shirt on fire before I used him as an ashtray. Doesn't condone my reaction, but he was far from an innocent victim. How can you possibly hit women and blame an incident a decade later? Men who hit women are nothing

but shithouses. At the end of the day, in this world, you're responsible for your own choices. This asshole saying that. Yeah, no doubt. Wow. Okay. That's a long the day, in this world, you're responsible for your own choices. This asshole saying that. Yeah, no doubt. Wow. OK. That's a long fucking tweet, too. That's several tweets.

Yeah. Just sent off a fucking series of them like crazy. February 2nd, 2016. A judge cuts his brother's sentence by a year. OK. Cuts his minimum sentence by a year. The family is rip roaring and rightfully pissed off. They're super fucking mad.

The judge says, and it's fucked up because at first he had all sorts of problems when he was in jail. He was a complete idiot. He got in trouble for weapons. He got in trouble for fighting, stealing. He made a model gun out of matchsticks. He made like prison wine. Basically, a psychologist interviewed him and told the judge that a blunt summary of their views is that he's a racist thug.

That's what they said about his brother. Apparently, by now, complete transformation. They say he's genuinely remorseful. He understands blah, blah, blah. Took off the robe. Took off the hat. Took off the pointy hat. The judge says, all of the material satisfies me that for the last eight years, Barton has made good use of the facilities and opportunities available in the prison estate.

His progress has been exceptional. It could not have been foreseen except as an unlikely possibility. His transformation from a racist thug into a sensible, realistic young man satisfies the high threshold for reduction for his minimum term. Wow. There's an ice pick sticking out of a guy's fucking head. Fuck yeah. I don't care what he does in prison. He can do 17 years, eight months.

I think that's fucking fine. With Burnley, he has 2015-16. Barton has 38 goals, or 38 appearances, three goals, nine yellow cards. He's named Burnley Player of the Year. Wow. He ends up going to the Rangers after that, of the Scottish Premier League, the Rangers. He ends up getting suspended for three weeks after

a fight with a teammate in September of 2016. September 22nd, 2016, his autobiography No Nonsense comes out. I played like shit. Here's my book. Yeah, it's his exact quote. That's my autobiography here. 2016, October of 2016, he is charged with breaking rules relating to gambling on football matches. What?

He's accused by the Scottish Football Association of placing 44 bets on matches between July 1st and September 15th of 2016. He gets a one-match ban for this. Really? One-match ban. One match is all it takes. Here, if you gamble on anything, you are banned for life immediately. Forever. Pete Rose was the greatest.

He has the most hits ever, and he still can't go near baseball because he fucking bet on some games 40 years ago. Yeah, and autographs every day for the next fucking millennium. It's nuts. So he has his contract terminated with the Rangers. So with Rangers, he ends up charged with misconduct in the F.A. The Football Association claims now he's under investigation for placing 200 or 1260 bets over the last 10 years. Wow.

Shit loads. January 2nd. He's under threat of a ban. He's got all this shit. Burnley re-signs him. Why would you re-sign a guy who's fucking, I don't understand that. It's insane here. April 26th, 2017, he is suspended.

He's banned for 18 months on betting charges. At his age, that pretty much. So lenient. That's still, yeah, it's super lenient. But at his age, it's pretty much over with. He says, quote, the decision effectively forces me into an early retirement from playing football. To be clear from the outset here, this is not a match fixing thing. At no point is any of it is my integrity in question.

Let's do it in their own words. I love what he says. He says in their own words, quote, throughout my career, I am someone who has made mistakes and owned up to those mistakes and tried to learn from them. I intend to do that here. I accept that this is one more mess I got in because of my own behavior. The episode has brought me, has brought home to me that I just

have to face up to the need to get help to deal with alcohol abuse, with anger. So now I know I need to get help for my issues with gambling, and I will do so. I'm a fucking mess. I need help for everything. The funny part is 11 of the 20 Premier League teams have logos of betting companies on their shirts. That's what I find fucking hilarious.

And the league itself is sponsored by a gambling company, too. So, I mean, they're gamble, gamble, gamble, not you. Not you. Same thing with the NFL, though. Don't you dare. Same thing with the NFL. Same thing with all these sports. They do the same thing. Yeah, gamble, not you. Not you. Same thing with the NFL, though. Don't you dare. Same thing with the NFL. Same thing with all these sports. They do the same thing.

Yeah, 1,200 bets. He says that he does it all under his own name, his own passport. He's placed 15,000 bets over a wide range of sports. Yeah. But soccer is one that you can't. They look at his 30 most prominent bets. By the way, his career is over as fuck right now. 14 appearances, one goal, four yellow cards that year.

106 yellow cards total for his career. Holy shit. That's kicking. Yeah, his most prominent bets here, and it's funny too because they show his amounts and everything. Like on one game, Manchester versus Fulham, he laid a bet that George Samaras won't score the first goal. Bet five pounds, won ten pounds. So a lot of these are like little bets. What the fuck?

Yeah, little bets. I see one for 600 pounds, Manchester versus Fulham. Manchester to win. He lost that bet. Shit like that. But it's a lot of like little bets, 50 pounds, 200 pounds, 250 pounds, 25 pounds. It's gambling, but the thing is, and it's the same thing with Pete Rose, they don't think that he threw games,

or they don't think that Pete Rose, when he was managing the Reds, was throwing games. But when he calls his bookie and bets against his team, even if he's trying to win, he's setting the line. He's setting the line. The bookie then goes, okay, they dropped the Reds' odds down because the manager doesn't think they're gonna fucking win that's a pretty good you know indication great indicator so yeah that's the that's the problem is they end up being involved in the whole thing here june 21st 2017

he's just saying that match fixing is the problem not gambling they should be able to gamble as much as they want i mean just max but if you're gambling you're going to be tempted to fix matches that's the fucking problem let's just not gamble But if you're gambling, you're going to be tempted to fix matches. That's the fucking problem. Let's just not gamble on soccer. How's that? Can you not gamble on the sport you play? Gamble on tennis, fuckface. Yeah.

July 27, 2017. He has his sentence reduced by five months on appeal. So now he's only out 13 months after being initially banned for 18 months. He keeps doing this and it keeps slipping through and they just let him through. He's fined 30,000 pounds. That still stands. July 28, 2017, he is not allowed to participate in a charity match to raise funds for the victim of the Grenfell Tower fire.

So you're too much of a piece of shit to help burned kids. There's burned kids and they're going to suffer because we don't fucking want you here. We don't need your money, sir. We don't need you, dickhead, here. So October 11th, 2017, he suggests that Ecuador may have thrown a game to let Argentina reach the World Cup. He's tweeting like, look at this guy who's guarding Messi. Look at number 23. Something's not right with his movement and behavior.

Messi's the greatest soccer player on Earth. It's so funny because that's what tons of other people came in and said. Yeah, he's the greatest fucking player and he makes people look stupid. That's why. Not only that, when you're guarding him, you're fucking nervous. It's like when guys go into the ring with Tyson back in the day. Watch them.

They're not at their best form. They're like, oh, God, with their arms over their heads. Jesus Christ. They look like they're fighting bees off. They're afraid Messi's going to nutmeg them and make them look like a fucking fool. Exactly. So he talks all sorts. This is all on Twitter.

Tip shit. He has 3.29 million Twitter followers, this fucking idiot. He does? 3.29 Twitter followers including seven people that follow us also follow him looking at you man sandra look seven of us seven of our people that's a fuckload he's british that's like five percent of the whole country for christ's sake over there so october 30th 2017 uh he calls Everton caretaker manager there David Unsworthus. He calls him too fat to manage and calls him, quote, a glorified PE teacher.

He's a fan of calling people fat. He likes calling people fat. He likes calling people names. Yeah. No shit. He said, quote, I saw him getting on the coach as Everton manager the other day. He doesn't look right. He was waddling onto the coach.

I was reading a British Army service manual the other day, and one of the things it says is you've got to be fit to lead your troops in the battle. Now, I'm saying you can't manage Everton if you're overweight, but it certainly doesn't look right. Okay. So he's being a dickhead. So that's where he is now. He's not playing. He's waiting to try to, So that's where he is now. He's not playing.

He's waiting to try to, who knows, sign one more deal. He's on Twitter calling people fat. He's on Twitter calling people fat and trolling people and being a douche and talking about philosophy and politics and everything else. Can't get enough of Joey Barton? There's fucking plenty of them out there for you. Don't worry. You can get his book, No Nonsense, hardcover, $24.95, $12.32 for paperback yeah on amazon yeah and you know what never mind autograph shit like that just go to joeybarton.com christ for all things horseshit

on the site yeah click on it right away it says there's a pictures of him and it says footballer period pundit period father period asshole they forgot asshole you missed i want to fight him asshole don't you want to fight him i think i'll take this little motherfucker i want to fight him so bad so that's joey barton wow that's a crazy english soccer player scumbag what a complete lunatic asshole the british ben cousins minus the meth uh i was waiting for meth to pop up in this fucking story so much minimum just like a super alcohol abuse yeah well i mean he does that everything he did was because he was shit hammered in the streets fighting fucking teenagers what a dick bag what a lunatic that is the story if you like that story i got an idea of what you can do

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And if you want to get a hold of the show, you can do that on all your major platforms. At Crime and Sports on Instagram and Twitter. Facebook.com slash Crime and Sports. And like we said, Crime and Sports at gmail.com. We have a list. By the way, live show people, just quickly. Amazing. Thank you.

Thank you for coming out. I hope we showed you that a Crime and Sports live show is fun. So you want to come out to that. It's a good time. I left a little bit of me in Chicago. I did that. We all did. We all did.

And some people, they think it's like, I've seen people like, oh, that sounds like there's probably going to be a lot of crazy people. It's not even like that. Nope. It was the nicest, coolest environment. Best people. With just a bunch of really great people that wanted to have fun and wanted to laugh and wanted to have a really good time.

And I was so happy because we don't know. We're here. So we don't know what our- You can't tell from the pictures because James looks like a salty fucking picture. Well, we don't know what our audience is like. Right. Like we, people tweeted us and stuff, but we don't know in general what they're like. So when we show up, we don't know if it's going to be a bunch of fucking ax murderers

or a bunch of like, we have no idea. So when we showed up and all of these people are just such great, nice, cool, smart. So many people are smart lawyers there. Yes. Support. Smart, supportive people. We're just. Thank you.

We were so thrilled. Do the guys that are from Michigan are fucking. That was great. They make one of those smashers, one of those fucking molecule smashers that they're the CNN. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's a collider. That's what it is. It's a fucking collider. I make smashers that CNN was... Is that what they call it? Yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about, yeah. It's a collider. That's what it is.

It's a fucking collider. I make smashers. I'm real smart. They smash shit. I smash things. So CNN was afraid the thing in fucking Sweden or whatever was going to make a black hole. And that's what these boys make up there in fucking Michigan. That's fucking crazy, man.

They're geniuses. That's crazy. They're fucking brilliant kids. And they listen to us make fun of people like this. It's crazy. but thank you guys so much for that and hanging out with us come to live shows uh like i said boston right now is the only crime and sports on the books the only crime and sports on the books is boston at 4 p.m so please sell that bad boy out and come see us do small town murder because it's just as fun yeah uh besides that though jimmy uh let us why don't you hit us with the list of incredible people this week. One of these people is

Brie in Montana who went and got a fucking tattoo. Ah, Brie. She got a tattoo that says, you sir may fuck off on her forearm. On her forearm with a gavel. Yeah. You sir may fuck off. It's unbelievable. That's, wow. We're, that's cemented. Yeah. Now into some kind of weird section

of pop culture. That's some sort of hall of fame, right? That's amazing. And then she sent us a huge box of Montana shit today that we're going to unwrap here in a minute. So thanks, Brie. I appreciate you. That was so cool. Dana Grayson, Jess Langer, and Kristen Costaldi continue these fucking EPs.

Thank you all so much. Thank you, guys. Rebecca Doe. This, by the way, strap in because this is so deep. Mark Busby. We missed a week, so. Yeah, we did. We got a buzz.

Jaybird Wedbetter over on Twitter. Jason, what is his last name? Is it Engelke? I think it's Engelke. Engleke? I don't know how you say that. I think it's Engelke. Engelke?

I think so. I'm not sure. It doesn't matter. Thank you, guys. I appreciate both of you. We love you, Jay. They've been listening since the fucking beginning. Since the fucking beginning.

Wedbetter since, I think, the fifth episode he came on board. Busby's been around there, too. I know he's heard all of them, but he may have started and listened the very first time it came out. I think Wedbetter came on and Rogowski, he sent me a message maybe once or something. There you go. Stacey Huffaker, I'm not sure. She sends something every few days. So thank you, Stacey.

You're a sweetheart. That's amazing. Dilche Thompson, Talia Mates. I called her Daniel last time because she's using her husband's card. What do you want from me? Oh, well, yeah. That's not our fault. That's Talia. So thank you, Talia Mates. I called her Daniel last time because she's using her husband's card. What do you want from me? Oh, well, yeah, that's not our fault. That's Talia. So thank you, Talia.

Aaron Parent, Taisha McPherson, Marsha Frazier, Randy Shelton, Susan Thornton, Tony Salupica. I think that sounds good. It's clearly Italian. Thank you, Tony. Jason Comstock. Ron. No, it's Jason Comstock. Ron. No, it's John. What?

Ron? What the fuck? John Radley. Tara Jenkins. Maria. Mariah. It's Mariah Men here. She's the Dutch one that corrects me all the time.

I'm my Dutch or not my Dutch. Thanks, Mariah. I appreciate you. Stephen Mace. Michelle Jolly. She also sent a bunch each a bunch each each fucking few days i don't know thank you michelle adrian thomas mary faust rachel smith amanda burke carla dixon louise brooks no louise brooks not louise it's that's definitely louise i think

that's a female's name right louise is yes yeah usually right For the most part. You never know. Louise Brooks. Tatiana Lewis. Ah, shit. Tatjana or Luka Janaki? Luka Janaki. What the fuck? I don't know if that's right or not, but I like it. Tatiana Luke Janaka. That's it. It's Luke Janaka.

Ah, okay. That's definitely it, I think. It's not. Taryn Winnie. Ollie fucking FJ. How do you do that? Fjork? Fjorkera? Fjorkika?

Is that an R? I think it's Fjorkiera. Fjorkiera? No, it's not. I don't know what it is, Ollie. Thank you so much. what it is, Ollie.

Thank you so much. Uh, Neil, nah, fucking Neil, Neil, Neil, far, uh,

yeah, roughs and Johnny. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's awesome. Yeah. But I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that.

Neil, I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to put my lips and mouth around to make that sound like a perfect word. But it's Raphson Johnny. I do know that. So thank you so much, Nilou. I'm going with Nilou. Nilou Raphson Johnny.

She's terrific. Lewis Simpson. Susan Manon. Yes, Susan Manon. Peter Lafredo. Jeremy Ramon. Katie Heisel, who makes our maps for us. Yeah, she's the best.

She's amazing. She sent us a super sweet donation. All of the murders happen. Keep an eye out. She's so cool. Thank you, Katie. Go to our Twitter page and find her. We, she's the best. She's amazing. She sent us a super sweet donation. Tell you where all of the murders happen. Keep an eye out. She's so cool. Thank you, Katie. Go to our Twitter page and find her. We retweet her every week.

Katie, you're terrific. Thank you. Andrew Balcom, Molly Parker, Blaze Cruz. That's definitely Blaze. B-L-A-S. Oh, yeah. I think they've donated before. I can't remember.

Thank you. Thank you, Blaze. Denise Sanchez, Kathleen Thill, who sent us a care package, by the way. It was part of the mail that we opened this week Oh yeah, that was awesome Thank you Fuck, I can't remember off the top of my head I know the Slim Jims were in it and there was another box too

I forget what, doesn't matter James, thank you very much Kathleen I appreciate you. James Cook, Melissa Neufeld Gregory Ray, Brant Taylor He sent twice by by the way. Wow. He sent over on PayPal and then signed up on Patreon. A few did that way.

Thank you, man. We're blown away by that. Thank you very much, Brant. Heather Millett, Justin Leuchert, Aaron Barchuch. Barchuch. Barkuch. Thanks, Aaron. Oak Tree Vintage.

I'm not sure what that is, but Google that, Oak Tree Vintage, and give them your business if you're looking for oak tree shit. Aaron Fandau. Yeah, it's Fandau. Michael Malone. Abby Smith. Emily Wenner. She donated twice also through PayPal and Patreon. Thank you, Emily.

You're a darling. Haley Hubbard. Sarah Bessler, Jen Eisenhower, Nick Laycock. That's Nick with that fucking last name again. Ingrid Stoke over in Norway. Thank you, Ingrid. Jared Hohe or Hoi. Hohe. That's got to be it.

No, it's not. No, it's not. Heath Mauger, Richard Paul, Lisa Coltrane, Molly Hewitt, Darlene James, Catherine Bosley, Marissa DeLeon, Carly Madison, James Stevenson, Kayston Johnson, Kimberly Hewitt, Robert Hernandez, TNT City Crafts. No, it's not. It's Tent City Crafts, I think. I think that's what it is.

But it's TNT City Crafts. So whatever they make, go buy their shit. Lawrence Odom, Robert Madersel, Maderski, Robert Maderski, Maderski, that's definitely it. Madison O'Toole, Sarah Gilbo,

Lux, no, Lux, L-U-X-E 23. I don't know what that is. Google it. Hopefully it's something to buy from. Yeah, buy some shit. Jessica Stope, Riley Hatovi, Krista Pira. Thanks, Krista. Jeffrey

Geiler, Marla Graber. Grabber? Marsha? Was that Marsha or Marla? Damn it. I can't read my own writing. Marla, I think. Graber. Jonathan Desmond, Frederick Adler, Timothy Jenkins, Kvix Corner. K-V-I-C-K-S, I don't know.

I don't know. Kvix Corner. That gets me. Yeah, it could be a business. If it is, check them out. Right. Book them up. Molly Parker, Alyssa George, Danny Worszinski, Rachel Bridge, Bryna Overy, Mindy Lum, David

Lung, no, Long. That's a G. David Long, that's it, Jasmine Monreal, Roast Rost Olson, Rost Olson that's definitely it, I don't know Andrea Samples, Emma Sykes Forms Systems Technology, FormSys

I don't know, I'm not sure what that is if you need their services, use them Siren Johnsgar, Emily Irvin I think I said her already she may have donated twice, she must have Hook them up. There you go. If you need their services, use them. Siren Johnsgar. Emily Irvin. I think I said her already. She may have donated twice. She must have. Wow, thank you. Molly Parker, you said twice, too.

Yeah, yeah. She definitely donated twice, too. Mark Saletti. Quinn Riley. Meredith Spencer. Cammie Rock. Kendra Fuller. Ellie Lepanin.

Lee A.B. Hold. I don't know what that is. I may have written that wrong. Probably did. Ab Hold. I'll bet it's Ab Hold, and I have a space between A.B. and Hold. I don't know what that is. I may have written that wrong. Probably did. Ab Hold. I'll bet it's Ab Hold, and I have a space between AB and Hold. So, Lee, thank you. Kyle Blaze. Montana Posse. They donated and then wrote us a nice little reply. I don't know what Montana Posse is. I hope that's something you can buy from, but do it. Richard Bazantes, Bazantis, really Richard, that's a tough name. Lofton Melmoth, Caden Carpenter, Rembot, Kelsey Stewart, Jessica, Molly, Thorne. Molly was in quotations, like that's a nickname. How do you get Molly out of Jessica or Thorne?

I'm not sure, but whichever. Maybe her, I don't know. Are you confused over that one? I just looked at it, I'm like, really, Molly're confused over that one? I just looked at it. I'm like, really? Molly? That's the one? Maybe she does a lot of Molly.

Who knows? You sounded hurt by that. I don't know. I can't figure it out. Mary Hemphill, Miriam Evans, Harry Lee, who works with my sister. He's a good dude. Thanks, Harry. I appreciate you.

Erica Hogan, Lil Buckaroo again. Mike Kennedy. I know a guy named Mike Kennedy. He's a scumbag. It's not him. And I'll bet this is not that guy. This is not that guy, guaranteed. That guy's a piece of shit. Thank you, Mike Kennedy. Thank you, good Mike Kennedy. I know a guy named Mike Kennedy. He's a scumbag. It's not him. And I'll bet this is not that guy. This is not that guy, guaranteed. That guy's a piece of shit.

Thank you, Mike Kennedy. This Mike Kennedy is amazing. Tracy Kidd. Colin F. Spencer. Dan Henricks. Tamana. Tamana Van Pelt. Oh, it's Tymona.

That's what it is. Tymona Van Pelt. That's for sure it. Christy Basham. Morgan Worksalot. I hope that's fucking what? Worksalot? That's an interesting last name. That's for real. That's heram. Morgan Worksalot. I hope that's fucking what? Worksalot? That's an interesting last name.

That's for real. That's her last name. Worksalot. I don't know. She's just fucking with me. She's Morgan. Rachel Hatton. Brianna Krantz.

Jed Llewellyn-Lewis. Patrick Poitras. Jeff Watson. Helen Collinshaw. Rhett Stubblefield, which is a badass name. That sounds really cool. So country. I like it. Yeah, it's like a movie character. Yeah. This is Rhett Stubblefield, which is a badass name. That sounds really cool. So country. I like it.

Yeah, it's like a movie character. Yeah. This is Rhett Stubblefield. That's a bullshit name. What are you doing? A guy named Rhett Stubblefield has never been accused of rape because it's such a sweet name. Well, it's just a – plus the women are falling at his feet. Yeah, you allow that, man.

You beg. You beg. You plead. Good for you, Rhett. Congratulations. Rhett. You beg. You plead. Good for you, Rhett. Congratulations. Retta and Levi Cruz. Kim Oligus or Oligus. I'm not going to try.

Jennifer Ross. Summer Jean. Jessica Lightkey. Jessica Lightkey. There you go. That's it. Paul Ruist. Danielle Andrews.

David B. The Chubby Bear. No, the Cubby Bear. Jesus, you're not a chubby bear, right? He may be a chubby bear. Who knows? Nikki Sarnecki, Thomas Gallagher, Susie Mannin. I think I mentioned her already, so she donated twice again. Buck, no last name.

Nicole Benson, Karis Hunt, Scott. And we're down to the finals here. All right. Here we go. Final good people. It's exhausting. I'm such an idiot. Gresham Fenton, Mariah Kelly, Tess Fahey, Saul Taylor Gowder, Kimberly Sprouse, Taryn Winnie, Andrew Davin, Lisa White, Gorilla Wolf, which is fucking amazing.

I hope that's your for real name. I want that on a debit card. Mara Spensieri. Fuck. Mara Spensieri. That's your for real name. I want that on a debit card. Mara Spensieri. Fuck. Mara Spensieri. That's for real. That's good. Flavia Perez.

Shane and Crystal Davis. Susan Nyhus. This has been a fucked week. I am so terrible at this this week. Matthew J. Homishack. Emily Wenner. Again, that's because she donated twice. Nika.

N-I-C-K-A, I don't know. Nika? Nika. Maybe it's Nika. Maybe. It could be Nika. Either way. Jen Armstrong, Jacob Blunt, Stephen Ward, Kenneth Zaguli, Zazaguli, Zazaguli, Z-E-Z-A-G-U-L-I. Fuck. God

damn it. How am I so god damn stupid? Kylie Miracle, Kevin No, it's Chris. Not Kevin. What? Chris Burns, Charlotte Caruba, Charlotte Caruba, Glory Ward, Candice Chia, Crystal Payne, Crystal Gennaro, and then Katie Armour. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys.

Holy fuck. I love these people. Yeah. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, guys, so much for all your support on Patreon, on PayPal. Truly. Every dime is more than appreciated. We go crazy when we see people do it.

We're like, I can't believe they did that. It's truly. From money to tattooing our phrases on our arms. Shit's gotten crazy, and we love it. We just can't thank you enough, because we truly cannot do this without you. Not at all. As much as it's said, we thank you enough because we truly cannot do this without you. Not at all. As much as it said, we thank you guys

for spending so much time with us. It's the shit, man. Thank you. It's a lot of time. We appreciate it. And what if one of these fine, amazing people wanted to find a guy like you and talk to them? How would they do that, Jimmy? You can find me at WismanSucks, W-H-I-S-M-A-N Sucks on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. And I am at JimmyPIsFunny.

You can find me on all that shit there. Or you can just copy and paste my last name if you want to do like Facebook or whatever the hell it is like that. Don't be a hero. There's an I in there, and you're not going to spell it right. Best of luck. But everybody, hope you enjoyed that crazy-ass story. I thought it was nuts. We went overseas.

We needed a different sport. We needed a change of pace completely, and we had it there. But we're going to keep coming back and keep coming back. And you can't get rid of us. You're damn right. Live from the Crime and Sports studios. We will see you next week. Bye.

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