Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark - I’m Married! Meet My Husband, Vance Voetberg | Wife School Finale

Episode Date: September 17, 2026

SURPRISE! I'M MARRIED!!!! 💍I am SO excited to reveal the biggest secret I've had to keep... I got married! Everyone meet my HUSBAND: Vance Voetberg 🤍Vance is a health writer and the creator of "Running on Butter," a publication for gym bros and grandmas who want to live their fullest, healthiest life. Most importantly, he’s MY husband and Mochi’s stepdad. 🥹But how did we meet?! How did he propose?! And how did I manage to plan an entire wedding in Washington state without telling you guys?!In this episode, I’m finally telling you the whole story—from the very beginning of our relationship to our engagement, secret wedding, and becoming husband and wife. I’ve been dying to share this chapter with you, and now I finally can. 🤍💍Thank you to our sponsors!GEVITI: Use code "ALEX" to get 20% off of your first purchase CROWDHEALTH: Use code “CULTURE” to get your first three months for only $99/monthBLDG ACTIVE SKIN REPAIR: Use code “ALEX” for 20% off your order COWBOY COLOSTRUM: Use code “ALEX” for 25% OFF at VOETBERG MUSIC ACADEMY:PRIMALLY PURE: Use code ALEXCLARK for 15% off your first orderVOETBERG MUSIC ACADEMY: Use code "ALEX" for 20% off each month you are enrolledOur Guest:Vance VoetbergVance's Links: Vance's Substack👰‍♀️ Our Wedding Planner:Polished Luxury [e-mail]🌿 Culture Apothecary WEBSITE/NEWSLETTERJoin the Cuteservatives Facebook group to connect with like minded friends who love America and all things health and wellness!New episodes drop 6pm PST/ 9pm EST every Monday and Thursday.DISCLAIMER: This content is for informational purposes only and is not medical advice. Always talk to a qualified healthcare professional for any health-related questions or decisions.

So I've been doing this wife school series, and it was on purpose. I wanted to learn from the greats because I knew that I was going to be getting married. On August 29th, I got married to my husband, Vance Votberg. And I'm so excited to introduce you formally and in-depth and go through everything about our whole story on the show today. And so I thought the best way to wrap up wife school, would be to end with me announcing that now I'm a wife. And it doesn't mean that the learning is over, obviously. Now the learning really is beginning.

I'm actually, I'm the new professor. So buckle up, guys. So I have a lot to learn. So now, you know, I'm really the student for real and have to, you know, learn all of this in real time, in real life, as you do in marriage. So today's super special because we're going to dive into everything from how we met, which we did cover a little bit in my EV magazine,

article as well as your substack running on butter. When we got engaged, you wrote a beautiful blog about our love story. But if you hadn't read that, we'll go through that. Everything about his crazy homeschool, grown up in a family of 10 kids' life. The ultimate Maha childhood before Maha was a thing. And then we'll also talk about the wedding, obviously, all of the details, nothing will be spared. The honeymoon. Maybe some of those details will be spared. I feel nervous, but I also feel super excited because we've really kept our relationship as private as possible. Through dating, we didn't disclose or talk about anything dating. We kept all of that pretty private.

And then we got engaged. We did announce the engagement. But even between the engagement and now, I've not had you on the show. We haven't done anything. We knew that we wanted to wait until we were officially married to have you on. And so there's so much ground to cover because I know you guys are dying to know more about Vance. And I'm so excited for you to know more about Vance because he is just the most multi-dimensional, talented, funny, artistic, stuff, soft, soft, soft. Athletic, handsome, bow pants of man that I've ever known and, you know, godly, just all the things.

There's so many things I could say. It's going to be super fun. and I didn't prep anything. I just wanted to just talk. And so I'm just asking about, yeah, without further ado, the greatest honor of my life. Whoa.

Please welcome. Whoa. Please welcome my husband, Vance Votberg, to culture apothecary. Alex Votberg, it's a privilege to be here, big fan of the show,

longtime listener. And so it's surreal. Your team is so professional. Everybody here is top notch. And just, yeah, I'm pleasantly, not surprised, but I should expect such excellence from you guys. So something I've kind of shared

briefly with the audience, you know, they know that you were homeschooled, one of 10 kids, you grew up in the Pacific Northwest. Where specifically in the Pacific Northwest did you grow up? It's a small town called Centralia. It's a small little town, not much to it. It's not very cute or quaint, and it's not very big. It's just sort of like a pass-through town. But what made the town really cool, matter of fact, was one of the cool things that, my parents did was my dad back, you know, 20 years ago, because we were homeschooled, he wanted to give us some opportunities to socialize with the community and to go out and to honestly minister to the community. And like I said, the town is actually not very, it's, it definitely

needs Jesus. The town is pretty low income. And I think, you know, the Northwest is particularly a dark area. Like literally, literally dark. Depression. because it's always raining, a lot of drugs, liberalism. Anyways, cutting to the chase. My dad built a coffee shop. It's called Fiddler's Coffee. And all of us kids worked at Fiddler's Coffee. And it was such an awesome opportunity.

So to this day, they still own Fiddler's coffee. And that's such a bright hub in Centralia amidst that, you know, darkness. So everybody started working there around what age? Gosh, I started taking money when I was like six or seven. I would beg my older siblings. I'm like, please, can I go into work with you guys? Because I just loved meeting all the people from town and making drinks. And it was such a fun environment to work in.

Yeah, so what was it like working there? Oh, it was like the most fun times. Like imagine, you know, I mean, the real ones are going to get this. Alex doesn't even know this. But there's a show we love called Adventures in Odyssey. And in Adventures in Odyssey, there's an ice cream shop called Wits End. And so Fiddler's Coffee, the coffee shop my family owns, is akin to Witt's End. It's like the most vibrant, life-giving, really silly, funny place you can hang out.

And so, you know, we would do skits together as a family and, you know, with our colleagues doing fun social media stuff. And it was just like such a blast. So you're working at the coffee shop. Yeah. You guys grew up. What kind of sports did you play? Oh, we loved all sports. We don't discriminate any movement at, you know, we're all about.

that but basketball is sort of like the central family sport so we all play basketball you know come to think of it I'm mind-blown I was just talking about this with a friend the other day at one point there were I think six or seven of us kids all playing on different basketball teams and so you had my oldest brother who was playing college basketball and then maybe I was in fourth or fifth grade and you know spread in there there were a ton of different kids and my parents were running us all around to different tournaments throughout the Northwest. And I'm mind-blown because somehow they managed that schedule just logistically, but also they facilitated a really strong harmonious family culture amidst that schedule. But yeah, anytime we got spread a little bit too thin as a family, my dad

was really solid about bringing everybody together. So what did that look like? Ten kids, different ages. You know, your oldest sibling is like over 40. Your youngest sibling is what, 22, 23? What is he? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He does have one single Voteberg brother. Yeah.

The last one. He needs to get married. Yeah. Rudy. So if you like coffee, the Pacific Northwest, and a guy that does beautiful gardening florals. Yeah.

He's also very athletic. He's extremely athletic. What did you guys do? 200 mile. What is that thing? No. It sounds way more cool than it was. But it's a Ragnar relay.

It's like a long distance relay. We all did. It was really fun. Yeah. Rudy is the best. Everyone loves Rudy. So anyway. He was my best man and he was truly the best man of the day.

He did like every detail was like drawn back to like, oh, we got to get Rudy to do that because he's just the coolest. He honestly was kind of like the wedding planner with how much work he did in the wedding, which we'll get into. Now we're getting ahead. Okay. So describe the house that you grew up in because this is my favorite part. And yeah. To give you an other picture maybe, you guys have the wits end picture from Adventures and Ones. I would describe our house stylistically a little bit like Anne of Green Gables.

And so my dad built the house back in the early 90s, and it was the house that I was born and raised in. But it's just a beautiful yellow farmhouse on top of a hill. And we've got excellent views of Mount Rainier and the Olympic Mountain Range. And, you know, a lot of acreage that just allowed us to roam around in the woods. There's sheep, there's cows, there's apple trees. there's more wildflowers than you can ever imagine. And you were literally born in the house.

Yeah, I was born in that house. And then that's where we got married, spoiler. So it was very, you know, the wedding was obviously people have eyeballs. They can see it themselves. It was obviously aesthetically beautiful. But it was equally very meaningful because that property, that home was just filled with so many joyful memories and to cap it off with the most joyful memory of getting married to you

was just like the most surreal, craziest, meaningful feeling. So the coffee shop is called fiddlers. You are a national fiddle champion. All of your siblings play music. Your sister-in-law, Katie, who came on the show for wife school, her and your brother, Elisha, started Voteberg Music Academy. Yeah. Which everybody, every parent needs to sign up their kid for Vopperb Music Academy.

music is one of the best gifts that my parents gave me and it opened up so many different doors and opportunities for me matter of fact it's a long roundabout way but i want to have met you if it were not for music why the short version is that i got a job opportunity through my music to move down here to arizona um and so that job opportunity that i learned about through a musical gig i had led me down to arizona and that's how i met you you. Yeah. Every parent, it's your obligation, your duty, your responsibility to provide music lessons for your children because it's just simply the best gift. And how many adults do you hear say that, oh man, I wish I would have, you know, stuck with the piano or I wish my mom would

have made me practice. And it's so true. And so don't be negligent. Don't make me call CPS for not putting your kid in music lessons because I just think it's the most. valuable special thing. And also going back to the health benefits, there are truly so many cool, unique, distinctive health benefits of learning music. Wait, what? I don't know this. Yeah. It just, you know, it just triggers a different part of your brain. And it sort of, you know, there's these two different sides of your brain, you know, the more analytical, logical side. And there's the more artistic side. And music goes between the two. And so it's this dance between the two regions of the brain that really is only acquired through music because it's very scientific and you know obviously

there's the rhythmic side of music but it's also obviously very artistic so give your kids the benefit of music it will enhance their thinking and they're just love for life and it'll enhance your home i mean i'm so grateful like i said my mom had so much patience and endurance for listening to a screech on the file in yeah explain because most people are like 10 kids learning how to play instruments, I would literally gouge my eyes out. Yeah. Don't do that. That's not maha. So my mom just always distinguished productive noise from unproductive noise. And so if us brothers were fighting and, you know, being rambunctious, you know, inside the home, she's like, get out of here, go outside. This is, you know, not productive noise. But if the house was really

busy with musical noise, she's like, no, this is productive. We're building something here. And but I'm just so grateful for that. How many instruments do you play? I play the violin and the piano. So your mom gives birth to you and your siblings, all of them except how many? Well, she gave birth to all 10. Well, I know that.

I mean, I mean at home. Oh, at home. She gave birth to the last six at home. Okay, so the last six of you were born literally at home, all home births. I think so. And they were no C-sections on natural births. And not vaccinated, homeschooling,

eating food off the land, you've never had a McDonald's hamburger or chicken nuggets. Not that I can recall. We did have McDonald's sometimes. I want to be truthful when we were like doing long road trips. Like a hash brown. Yeah, so I remember hash browns and I remember the chicken sandwiches or the wraps. Yeah, I do remember the raps. The McChicons?

Is that what they're called? Yeah. I stuck to chicken nuggets. Yeah, I don't think I've had a McDonald's chicken. But yeah, my parents, again, they were just really thoughtful about how they raised us, and I'm so grateful for that intentionality in all aspects of life. But health was certainly one of them. And matter of fact, what's really cool about their approach when it comes to healthy food

and giving us all the nourishment we needed, my mom's priority for feeding 10 children was certainly health. She wanted to raise healthy children. but she also just needed to be frugal when you're feeding you know 10 mouths it can get really expensive and so the reason I would say frugality was sort of the main reason we ate healthfully and so a lot of times especially nowadays I hear people will say oh you know eating healthy is so expensive um you know certain replacements are certainly but uh they're like my mom fed us healthfully by going to, you know, a friend raised our beef cow for us that we got annually.

And it was at a great, you know, grass-fed beef. And then she would get bulk grains and make bread. And that was really inexpensive. And we had a garden, and we gardened throughout the summer and preserved things. And all of your siblings are doing that. Everybody is canning. They, oh, I just asked one of your sister-in-laws yesterday. I was like, I always like to ask, I do this with my best friends that have kids,

and I do this with your siblings. I'm like, what are your kids doing today? like send me an update like, what are you guys doing? And one was like, well, we're going to another sibling's house to trade apples for pears. Yeah. And then do some, she said, we're going to do freeze drying the pears to make pear chips with her kids. And so this is very normal. Everybody has a garden, a flower garden.

They're growing food, fruit trees. It's so cool. And so for those that live locally, which all of them do except one and then almost two, almost two will be living in Idaho. Everyone else lives right there in Washington where you grew up. And so they're all like trading things and bartering and whatever or like walking next door and getting, you know, raw butter or raw milk or something like that. You know, come to think of it, they've actually gotten way more healthy in the coolest way since I've moved out. So they like up their game and they got a jersey cow and now they're like doing the whole A2 milk situation.

My dad's big thing right now is raising sheep and he's got like 16 of his little sheep that are just running up on the hill. Andrew, your dad, your parents are very into maha, especially your dad. Your dad loves the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He is a hyperbaric chamber. They have a sauna. Yeah. I mean, they're all in.

They're all in. They're all in. My dad, I mean, my dad would be a better guess to me because he's so knowledgeable and clever and he's got different theories about why different ailments are afflicting different people. So it's always really fun to talk to my dad about these things. One of the reasons that we ended up meeting and getting together in the first place is because of our shared passion for health. and wellness. And you have running on butter your substack, which is a health and wellness

substack. And so before we kind of get into the how we met story, can you explain what your health philosophy is? When was your like health aha moment? My audience knows mine was during the pandemic. What was it for you? Yeah. So I think mine was more gradual. Again, a lot of the healthy habits that I have to this day were sort of inherited just by by nature of being raised by healthy parents. A lot of movement, a lot of healthy vegetables, a lot of good quality meat. But I would say independently, my thoughts and convictions kind of formed when I read the book Deep Nutrition. I was 19 years old. By Dr. Kate Shanhan. Yeah, Kate Shanhan, friend of the show. She's the coolest.

She's the coolest. And I read that. And my good friend, Dr. Matt Angove handed me that book and he, him and I were just like, he was sort of mentoring me and to this day, he's just like the coolest, thoughtful guy who, wait, I have to interject about Dr. Matt. Yeah. So here's another really cool thing about his family. So they have this basically like family compound on 50 acres on top of this gorgeous hill.

That's where like a lot of them live. And they have a literal naturopathic doctor couple who lives on the hill with them. So, so Vance grew up or whatever, knowing these people. and now they live on the hill. We call it Voteberg Hill. And they live up there. And so you're very close to them and he's been on your substack.

You've interviewed him and all kinds of stuff. So Dr. Matt is married to Dr. Amadea and they were definitely the most influential and to this day. They're like my medical advisory board who I'll text. I'm like, hey, what do we think of this? And they'll give me that clinical sort of insight

and expertise. But yeah, they were really formative. And Dr. Matt handed me that book, Deep Nutrition. And I just thought Dr. Matt was coolest. So I read it and I was completely radicalized by seed oils, which is crazy to me now because that is like, they actually weren't even called seed oils in the book. She just called them. Well, now you're like, nobody cares about this anymore. This is so not trendy. I know irrelevant,

right? Because I, one of the things that we like got into it when we were planning the wedding was on our menus, I wanted to mention, you know, that this meal is regenerative, organic seed oil free. I wanted that word on there. Yeah. And you were like, oh, my gosh, we don't need to include that. Like, it's obvious. Like, nobody cares about that. Nobody knows. I'm like, no, no, no. For newbies, this is important. Yeah. And you were like, I'm so past this because you were in on seed oils in 2018. I didn't even know what a seed oil was until, I don't know, 2023. Yeah, no. Well, I think that seed oils are sort of like the new face. A lot of companies and brands and restaurants are sort of seeing that as like a great way to greenwash

certain things. And so that's why I'm sort of hesitant now to the no seed oil marketing. A lot of different companies that I don't love. Because you're cutting oils and stuff. Yeah, yeah. I mean that crazy UC Davis study came out in like, on avocado oil. On avocado oils and 90% of avocado oil is mixed with, you know, freaking seed oils.

So anyway, back to the seed oil revelation of 2019. I read that book and I was just shocked by Dr. Kate Shanahan's revelations. She talks about like how seed oils affected sperm motility and morphology. And I was like, that's it. I want to have a ton of kids. We're not doing any more acetyl oils. You want to have super babies. Yeah, I wanted to have super babies.

So that's why I married Ms. Alex Clark, because we're going to have some super babies, Lord willing. Yeah, I read that book. And it just, yeah, it's stunned me. And it really inspired me to learn more about health and science. And so I was actually working with Dr. Matt and Dr. Amadea with them in their clinic and getting some cool insight as to what a naturopathic physician does. But being with them on a daily basis and hearing their patients basically pour out to them,

I realize that my bedside manner probably isn't the best. If you guys think that I am blunt and like, oh, she could say things a little bit softer, nicer, whatever, you haven't met Vance. Because he's like me times 20. Okay. Well, we both. We both. Yeah, we're direct. You know, no, no pretty floral language around what needs to be said.

So, yeah, I realize that, like, I don't think I can hear all this trauma dumping every day. And so much of really quality good medicine essentially just comes down to changing people's habits and convincing them to, like, wake up every day and implement those really simple habits. And I'm like, geez, I don't want to sit across from like a six-year-old lady who's crying, you know, who's overweight, who's like, I don't know, like struggling with all these hormonal issues and just is just like, and I'm like, hey, you got this lady, you're going to do well. Like you can pull it together. That's just not my gifting. But that being said, I loved the science. I loved the medicine aspect. And so I took a little pivot from actually wanting to work with people on a daily basis. And that's, and that's, when I decided to pivot. And another really formative book I read was The Big Fat Surprise by Nina Tysholtz. And she was a scientific reporter who was, and still is to this day, sort of the key voice and key person who has fully unpacked just how screwed up the dietary guidelines are.

She's so cool. I want her on the show, Nina. Please come on. But yeah, I read that book and I just, just thought it was so cool how she took over a decade to really research basically the last hundred years of nutritional science in America and how that has influenced everything. I'm like, wait, what if I could do something like that? So I switched to journalism and became a health writer for the epic times. Yeah. And so yeah, out of college. I don't know what they were thinking.

Where did you go to college, by the way? Yeah, I did it online through Liberty University. I was really grateful for that education. And you were homeschooled your whole life. Yeah. Yeah. And through college, I had, I got to teach music lessons, which was a super fun, cool experience I had. And track, you were track coach. Yeah, that was also really fun. Yep. So, yeah, no, no, I was just reading a ton of different nutrition and science books. And then, yeah, I started working with the epoch right out of college.

And, like, I think it was my sophomore junior year of college. I started running on butter. And that was where I just started writing about different health topics. I thought it was so interesting. At the time, I was training to be like a good, distance runner and so many of the different distance runners I would fall online were given all this messed up health advice I'm like what are you all doing like you should not be running on all this crap and all these refined carbs and and oils I'm like you guys should be you should be running on

butter and so the birth of running on butter became a thing and I just started riding and it was so fun and started working at the epoch times and this is where our our paths start to cross a little bit So many of the interviewees that I had the opportunity to connect with an interview have come on culture apothecary. And so it was really fun to see, you know, Roger McPhillan and Vani Harry and Kate Shanhan, all these people who I interviewed, who you have also interviewed just on different platforms and through different mediums. So a lot of this shared stories we've both covered. I probably cover them first, if we're being real. No, you did. No, but actually, yes.

No, Alex, no. Alex says just up to the game. So it's just really cool that we share this vision and this passion for wanting to wake up the world from all of the lives. Chronic illness. Yeah, there's all the lies we've been fed about chronic illness. And I think, you know, if I may, I'm just going to talk a little bit about what my health philosophy is. and that is, you know, of course there's going to be different points in my life where I'm going to be passionate about a certain health topic or trend. I'll be saying something like,

oh, everybody needs to eat red meat. Like, that's so important. Then the next week I'll probably say, get as many phytonutrients as you can via vegetables and fruits. Like everybody needs to be eating blueberries or whatever it is. But the consistent thing that everybody should be doing on a daily basis is again what dr matt my mentor says is accumulating health and so every day we wake up and you have to make those decisions on a daily basis to do the do the very basic things of eating real food nutrient dense food of living real life of talking with real people face to face um of moving your body and it's not that those things are revolutionary those things are completely ordinary, but those ordinary habits over the course of multiple decades is what

provides health, you're not going to get healthy or prevent disease by doing these in and out different health hacks and getting the whoop band and, you know, doing an exercise class for a month. It's the consistent endurance of just living life, loving life and enjoying life. Have you ever gotten so bloated that you start bargaining with God? You're Googling Is it gluten? Is it dairy? Is it stressed? Did I drink water too fast? Am I secretly four months pregnant? And then somebody's like, no, bloating. It's just bloating. And that's normal. No, bloating is common. That's not the same thing. Imagine trying every elimination diet, every probiotic, every digestive enzyme, TikTok is ever recommended. And then you finally do a GI map test. And then you're like, oh my gosh, it's a

parasite. It's been a parasite this whole time. The parasites want the candy. Well, at least you now have but answer. That's one of the reasons I love Jevity. Jevity does not just test your blood, okay? They offer advanced testing, including GIMap testing. So you can stop guessing and start understanding what is actually going on in your gut. They build a personalized plan around those results and they don't just tell you what the results are and then, oh, figure it out, which is basically what every other biomarker testing company does. Jevity also has a free membership tier. So you can actually upload blood work that you've already done from somebody else. else and then they will tell you based on those results for free what your longevity blueprint is,

right? Like what to do with these results? And then if you are like, okay, I have the answers. Now, what do I do about it? And you do want to go deeper like I have. You can become a plus member and you can work with a functional clinician. You can have access to advanced testing like doing your gut poop test. Okay. You can get personalized supplements. All of these therapies all in one place. You want to test to see if you have the MTHFR gene. You want to do a Dutch test for your hormones. has everything. Your body has been trying to send you clues, so now we've got to stop ignoring them and start being a detective. Go to gogevity.com. Use code Alex for 20% off. That's gogevity.com. Code Alex for 20% off your first purchase. Free yourself from health insurance is a free

live webinar with crowd health founder Andy on September 23rd at 7 p.m. Central, 8 p.m. Eastern, 5 p.m. Pacific. What if you could leave traditional health insurance behind and still feel confident about handling major medical bills. You can. On September 23rd, Crowd Health founder Andy is hosting a free live webinar called Free Yourself from Health Insurance. Andy is going to explain exactly how crowd health works and what members contribute, what happens from the moment that you need care until the final bill is funded. He'll reveal why health care prices are so inflated, how paying cash can dramatically reduce costs and how crowd health negotiates medical bills on members' behalf. You'll hear real examples involving major medical bills and bills totaling hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Most importantly, Andy is going to explain who crowd health may be right for and who may be better off keeping traditional insurance. The webinar starts September 23rd at 7 p.m. Central, 8 Eastern and 5 Pacific. It's free. There's a live Q&A. Register at join crowdhealth.com slash LP slash Alex. That's join crowdhealth.com slash LP slash Alex. Where in the mix of you going on this whole health trajectory, did you first become aware of me? Because you knew who I was way before I knew who you were. I'm my eye on you. I knew what I wanted.

Yeah, so I, you know, my family was very conservative. So I knew about Turning Point USA. I actually came down to Arizona and I was working for a different conservative organization. And my sister had come across poplitex. and she's like, dude, you should check out Alice Clark. She's awesome. So this was, I don't know, 21, 2021-ish. I have no idea.

So I definitely know who you were. I didn't listen to Poplitzix much, but as you were growing in your understanding of health and the podcast kind of evolved into more long-form interviews, I'm like, wow. I mean, everybody, all the listeners here can hear how Alex has evolved in her thinking and her convictions. And I was just, I thought it was the coolest thing. I mean, yeah, I literally went through this evolution live on air through a series of interviews

where I'm interviewing people and I'm like, wait, the food pyramid was fake in the 90s that I learned from. Wait, what are seed oils? What are they doing to me? And so you're hearing that on the spillover, which is what the show was before. Yeah. So obviously, um, she, you know, Alex, everybody knows that she's witty. She's funny. She's beautiful. And then as she was growing in these ideas specifically about health and also, too, spiritual health, it was cool to hear, you know, you have some really special pastors on and writers on that I've admired over the years. This girl is deep. She's got some conviction. She's got some, you know, interesting, unique takes on theology and health and everything. And so, yeah, just sort of saw us forming, you know, you didn't, of course, but I saw us. I envisioned it all of us just growing just more and more alike. Like, even, you know, all I could hear was you on the airwaves.

But I will tell you guys now, Alex is who she is right here now on the air as she is at home. Like she's the realest, most authentic person. Well, maybe a little more crackhead energy at home. Yeah, no, she's crazy. She's insane at home. Like, give an example. She makes like these crazy, like, voices. is and we'll be like, we'll be like cooking dinner or something.

And she's like, the wigworm's going to get you, Vance. And I'm like, uh-oh, the wigworm's going to get me. And I don't know what a wigworm is, but I just, you know, it's the Alex Clark Cracket Energy that I've come to really love. It makes life like the most fun thing. It's always unexpected. Like Alex is the person of unexpected Joyce because, you know, she could be sitting down and she could be like,

and I don't know if like there was something horrific that just happened with the president or like if, you know, Hayley Bieber had a baby or something. Yeah, no, yeah, it's just like it's always shock, always exciting and always a thrill to be with you. And so, um, so you're seeing this evolution.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That I'm going through spiritually. I mean, I grew up in a Christian home. Yeah. But to kind of explain this to people, I grew up in a Christian home, um, assemblies of God, non-renominational to be exact,

you know, Christian parents, strong praying mother, was very involved youth group, purity balls, you know, Sunday church, church camps, the whole thing. However,

I don't feel like I was taught spiritual disciplines from a young age, I guess would be like one way to put it. You know, it was very much like send me to youth group and like she'll figure out

like what she believes through pastors at youth group. Well, that just like, that wasn't enough sustenance. And so I just, I kind of felt. You have an intervention with Ms. Alex. Yeah, I mean, until the last few years, when I compare myself however many years of my life versus the last six or so, I feel like, wow, I was almost like lukewarm Christian or baby believer or just almost baby Christian for most of my life just with no,

no depth or true appreciation of the gospel, I think. I believed in Jesus. I would have told anybody that. I just, it just didn't, like, overcome me. And so I kind of went through this whole, like, spiritual evolution during the pandemic, and I had this, like, crazy freak out because somebody asked me, are you Calvinist or Armenian? And I had literally never heard those words in my life.

And I was like, how am I a lifelong Christian? never heard this. And it's just, we didn't have theological discussions in my house. I didn't, everything was just pretty surface level Christianity, I feel like. And so I just was like, there's so much I don't know. How do I not know this? And so that's when I just started, I think I started seeking finding a more solid church with, with better teaching and surrounding myself with mentors and other Christian friends that could really help sharpen me and grow me. And really pouring into those friendships a lot and then pouring into me. And then pouring into me. And then, I mean, especially even just the last year of knowing you and your family, I'm like, man, there's just, I have even more of a just like this thirst for knowledge.

Yeah. Well, of learning more. Yeah. And I'll say that's one of the most compelling, attractive traits about you is that learning mindset and that really teachable, teachable mindset you got going on there. It's just, no, it's seriously. you can you can hear it through the podcast oftentimes but there have been so many instances throughout a relationship where you and i are talking about as a situation or discussion where you've exemplified such humility and teachability and i just think that's so admirable and as the man

seen that in a relationship it's just like oh gosh like i want to i want to reciprocate that and there are i will say that there are many christians who can have have the right theology or have a robust defense of what they believe and why they believe in, the eschatology and predestination and all of those buds words. But if they lack the fruits of the spirit, like, that's, I mean, that's a scary place to be. And it's also just not where we want to be. Like, the point of living a Christian life is to, is to honor the Lord and to live our lives in obedience to him. But it's also to have the fruits of the truth. the spirit. And if you aren't exemplifying those, like, you know, I'd really encourage you to,

to question maybe your heart and your mindset and your arrogance, but going back to you, Alex, I just really appreciate that humility because people with PhDs in theology oftentimes don't even have that. Now, I know the people that hate listen to the show are screeching. They're like, Yeah. You don't know. She's the worst. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No. I mean, you would say that you've, like, every mistake that Alex has made in her adult life has been pretty public just by nature of your profession. And so, of course you've sinned. Of course you've misspoken. Of course you've lashed out. But which one of us hasn't. Like, again, like there's so much grace and forgiveness that.

that needs to happen there. But yeah, of course, like, you've misspoken and you've said a bunch of things. But a lot of times when you've commented or blocked people on the internet, it's like, ladies, ladies, I just need you to use that brain of yours into just not you. I'm not talking about you. Yeah, you're talking about the people that get blocked. Yeah, it's just like, sweetheart. Like, you know, like go call your mom.

Go be with your child. Like there's, you don't need to be. upset by this or you don't need to be consumed with this. Like there's there's real life to be lived. Speaking of like internet and podcast space. Yeah. And how you say you're discovering me, you're watching the evolution. Yeah. You know that we have mutual friends. We do. Yeah. So our mutual friends, Samuel Say and his wife Annie say and then Katie Faust. And I met them actually at the same event, which is crazy back in 2021. And we just were instantly really close and connected very well. and over those few years

I'd seen that Sam had come on this podcast Katie obviously has been on like four times Yeah and Katie Faust is just the coolest And so I would text Sam I'm like hey what do you think about me and Alex Like can I what about this situation Like do you think she'd ever go for me Or I would text Katie and I have all of these receipts

I actually posted them on my blog Like hey when you see Alex next mention me And so they're like yeah And they were like the coolest wingmen ever because they were so like on top of it and I think organically they saw the compatibility and the shared interests as well but you know through different circumstances of life Alex was was probably dating a loser uh some low life at the time and so it just never worked out

um and then I moved down here for my different job um at a different organization and uh I honestly kind of given up on the Alex Clark dream. I was like dating other girls and trying to move on. Yeah. Wait. Let's talk about this for a second because I've gotten a lot of comments when I've done Q&As on Instagram. And you're not on social media. No. So a lot of girls send me in questions. And obviously I haven't been talking about us because I wanted to wait to address everything about our relationship on this on this episode. But lots of questions about like what's Vance's dating history. why didn't he end up marrying a small town homeschool girl that just seems like the normal thing like he's in this small town Christian family homeschool family like that's usually I've done you guys marry I mean most of your siblings to be fair some of them didn't they marry public school kids but most of them did marry other homeschool kids so like why were you different I've always been you know drawn to women with fun big personalities and I don't think there's any bigger more fun personality than Miss Alex over here.

So you had some, you moved out here, you did date a few people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's funny too because actually the day before we got married, we were trying to figure everything out, do errands, and there was something that you had asked me to do, and I called you and I couldn't figure out what it was, and I was frustrated, and I didn't know it at the time, but you were on speaker and my dad was in the room with you. and I was short with Alex. I shouldn't have been short with her.

I was annoyed and I was underfed and, you know, I needed food and I was stressed out, all those things. This is the day before a wedding. I mean, there's some grace for that. We were all stressed out. But anyways, you know, I didn't realize my dad was on the other line. So you hang up and my dad was like, I can't believe my son's talking to you like that. And then he talked to me. He's like, hey, you can't treat your wife like that, you know, a few hours later.

I'm like, yeah, I know, I'm sorry. This is making it sound horrible. It was not at all. It was probably like me saying something and then you being like, okay, you know, it's like being short with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just a little bit. Yeah.

Trite. Is that the right word? I don't know. Trite is like, you're the writer. Yeah, yeah, no, that's not the right word. Okay. But my dad later, he was like, he was, you know, I was talking with him and my uncle. And he's like, you know what?

I think it's great that Vance and Alex, are ending up together because if he ended up with somebody a little bit more chill or maybe quiet or reserved like I would be scared for that girl because Vance is so direct and he's so just like not just so confrontational yeah let me tell you something um no one I have ever dated has just been so direct with no to me as as you know yeah I mean desserts oh oh like literally, but just anything, yeah, is, you know,

Vance will just be very firm, no. Like, no, we're not, we're not doing that. You have no problem kind of putting your foot down on certain issues. Yeah. And, you know, when it comes to like this topic of submission or whatever, which is like so debated.

Submit. So debated. Submit woman. When it comes to that topic, Like, you know, it, I'm not going to beat a dead horse because so many people have talked about this on the show and whatever. But it is, it is true. And I'm learning that. It's like when you have a truly godly man who is being shaped and disciples by even godlier men who are holding you accountable and pouring into you and you're in the word and, you know, all of those different things.

when you tell me no. I'm not going to say that I'm, I'm, I'm never argue. There's definitely, I'm learning. There's definitely times where I'm like, no, wait a minute. Yeah.

Well, and I wouldn't want that. That's, I like, you know, going back and forth with you on certain things. I feel like I know my place of like, I know when it's okay for me to kind of push back. Yeah. And give an alternate opinion. Like, no, I will have dessert tonight.

Yeah. He's bringing this up because he's like so anti-refined sugar and I like, I like a little treat. So anyway, because they're going to be like, is he controlling her weight? Um, no. No, it's a refined sugar thing. But when you tell me no, or affirm about something, I just rest easy in knowing like, whatever it is that you're thinking or your opinion on something,

I just, I can just trust you and just be like, you know what, he's got this. It's infallible. It's like, no need to question. No. I'm kidding. I just mean like, because I know where your heart is. Yeah. If you have a strong opinion on something, it's not. not hard for me to just let you make the final decision. Yeah, and I would say that there are very few times when that muscle has been flexed thus far in marriage. It's not like we're at this stalemate. We're like, okay, you're going to make the decision. But yeah, we're always, we're very communicative and I love your opinions.

Alex is one of many opinions. And again, that's why I married you. I want to hear your thoughts. It would be so boring to be married to a wall. Now, Rudy is different. your little brother Rudy. So Rudy's been in the car with us where we is, it's not a fight. We're not even fighting or arguing.

It's we talk passionately. Yeah. And like our volume goes up and we're talking fast like this. Yeah, exactly. And Rudy was like, I think it was like a minor thing of it had something do with mochi. Yeah, the dog. It was something about like who's going to walk or what we should do with him about something I don't even know. But Rudy was in the car with us and he was like, I'm so glad that you guys have each other and you guys make sense.

but if I had a girl that was, like, debating me and, like, talking to me like this and, like, I would be scared. I would be scared. Because I just get, I get very intense, like, debating. Yeah. But it's funny because, like, it, like, I love it. Yeah. I go into, like, crystal clear mode. Like, let's go.

Yeah. Yeah. No, but you're the worst to argue with because you're immediately like, um, okay, what's your evidence for that? Yeah. I go straight into like. I take it away with anything. I go straight into, prosecutor mode. I'm like, where, where's the.

evidence there. You know, I said this. You said I said this. It's not good. It's not good. Like, you don't want to be a prosecutor as the husband. So all this time texting Katie and this is, sorry, this is what happens when I, I don't have like a strict set of questions or plan for the show. So we're just like, we're just vibe and we're talking. So you're blowing up Katie and Samuel and his wife and saying, can you hook us up? I'm dating losers. It's like, it's bad timing or whatever. And then finally. Yeah. Yeah. finally you know you kind of give enough i yeah i just had hadn't thought about it um you know life moves on you listen to sad songs etc sad music sad movies you know you you go into like a fatalistic what is the meaning of life oh please no um no so i moved on and i was writing a blog piece

in the blog i mentioned you by name because there was a piece of the book i mentioned you by name because there was a of content you made that I saw. And I actually used you as an example. I don't know if it was a positive or negative. I don't think it was a positive, to be honest. You were talking. You said Alex Clark mentioned something on your show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can listen to it here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'd mentioned you. And then in parentheses, I'd said, I would totally take her on a date. And I did not think anything of that. I just thought like it was funny.

and at the time I was reading different humorous and I was trying to bring a little levity into my reporting because, you know, people can only read. Seed oils are bad so many times. So I was trying to bring some lightness, some funness to the column. Your subtext is very funny. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. And so, yeah, no, I was just trying to make it fun

and I didn't think anything would manifest as a result of me, those parentheses. Lo and behold, some of my readers sent that to you via Instagram and you saw it and I went to bed. I posted it, went to bed. You saw it and then you posted it on Instagram and you said, hey, if anybody knows this butter guy, tell him I think it's cute or something, whatever it was. And I woke up to like so many different text messages and calls. They're like, this, this is your shot. Go, go, go, go, go. And at the same time, simultaneously, I'm getting hundreds of DMs from people that know your family.

because your family is well known in the Pacific Northwest. I mean, just naturally, homeschool community, 10 kids, they have this family band, they're traveling right. I mean, so people know you guys. And so you guys have made an impact on a lot of people, plus your family's so huge. So I'm getting DMs from people in your family, as well as people that just know you, grew up with you, worked with you, whatever,

that are like, this is the best guy. I can't believe I've never thought about this, or I have thought about this, and I've always wanted you guys to get together. You guys are a match made in heaven, literally perfect. One girl was just one of your family members, I don't know, third cousin or something was like, I'll see at the family reunion next year. Just like new, like you guys are going to get married and it is what it is.

And so I was just, I've never had so many glowing endorsements for a guy from just people vouching for you saying this is the best guy comes from the best family and you guys have everything to a T in common. Yeah. And so that definitely got my attention. I was curious, I had no idea what you looked like. I had no idea where you lived. I thought maybe you lived in New Hampshire something for all I knew. Yeah, that would be cool.

I like New Hampshire. So what was crazy was when I posted that, Katie Faust and Annie Say were all texting me like, you idiot, this is the guy we've been trying to set you up with for years that you always would blow us off. I'm like, what? And I was like, well, where does he live?

And then it was literally five minutes down the road for me. I lived three miles from her. Like, what are the odds? Yeah, I promise. I promised on a stack of Bibles that I did not know where she's. lived and I wasn't stalking or anything. No, like, what are the odds of that? Yeah. I mean, it's totally God ordained. It is. Because once we started dating, you know, that made it so much easier,

especially with the amount that I travel for work. Like, it's very hard, honestly, with me dating, I'm just gone so much. So the fact that, like, when I am home, we're five minutes apart. Yeah. It was so nice. And so basically, I found out, I'm like, wait, he's in this town. Like, I couldn't even believe it. Because, yeah, I had no idea. You could have been across the country. And so, and I still would have, like, given you the time of day. I think with just all the people telling me that are solid believers, like this guy is something, is someone you should pay attention to. But I was like, okay, well, sure. And you got my number from them and called me immediately and asked me to go to dinner. Yeah. And we went out the next. Well, I told you I had to go to D.C.

Yeah. For something for a week. I had to go to D.C. and New York City. I had to go to Fox and I'd do a bunch of stuff. And so I was like, well, I can either go out literally tomorrow or we got to wait a week because I'm going out of town. This is how my schedule works. It's always just like, now or never. And you were like, I'll take tomorrow. For many years of, you know, living for the hope of it all, you got to take your shot while you can.

And so I'm like, yeah, we got to go out tomorrow. And so I texted my friends. And I'm not like a, I was still new to Scottsdale. I didn't know the places to go to. And I didn't eat out that much because I like cooking and I like making my own food. So I'm like, geez, where do I take out, Miss Alex? and I texted a bunch of friends and one of my friends who followed you on social media

Gabby, shout out to Gabby. She's like, I think she's been to this restaurant. It's Mahal and school. It's an old town. And so I'm like sick. Got reservations to that restaurant. It's called The Ends in Scottsdale. Super cool restaurant.

Cid oil free. And so we went out and, you know, I'll never forget you walk. And she was like, 15 minutes late and each one of those minutes she was late I was you know wanted to kill myself I was like gosh just got stud up uh no but she showed up and I saw her walking down and I'm just I'll never forget that moment of seeing you for the first time and hugging and then sitting down and talking about everything and we went straight into the actual meat we were eating but also

conversationally uh we went into the meat as well talked about like homeschooling for kids and, you know, theological convictions and, you know, all of the different meaty topics that people are like, oh, no, I'm not joking. Let's talk about this because you deny saying this on the first date and you absolutely did. What? Okay. You say to me, when you sin, do you feel guilt? And I was like, he's trying to figure out if I'm a Christian. Yeah, I don't remember that one.

You were like, I would never say that on first day. I'm like, you absolutely did because it was so, like, obviously, you don't ever get asked that on a first day. So I told my friends that I was like, you won't believe what he asked me. But I under, it was funny. It's like funny. It's like, it's the holy spirit litmus test, right? If you send, you know, I don't know.

Yeah, do you feel convicted after you said? Yeah, exactly. And so I was like, it's a good question, but like, man, this guy isn't playing around. Yeah. Yeah. So I didn't waste my time. I just got into it, talked about all the things. It was a really organic, fun conversation.

and I obviously had a bit of the upper hand because I'd listened to her podcast. And so I knew obviously a lot of what she was interested in. And then so she sort of was just asking about my upbringing. And while it was similar in the fact that we were both raised in Christian homes, it was like pretty different on a lot of, a lot of different features within our upbringing. So it was fun to talk about dissimilarities we had. but then how over the course of our lives it's just like come into this perfect river. So now I think we can get into the juicy stuff.

Yeah. Which is we start dating. No. We start dating. And how long did it take for you to know that you loved me? Well, I told you I loved you. First. First.

And it was six weeks. We had gone back. to your families for Thanksgiving. And I got to see you in your own home environment with your mom, with your aunts and uncles, with your grandmas who, Grandma Dutie and Grandma Foster, they're the sweetest.

And I just got to see you in the environment in which you were raised. And meet all my best friends. And meet all your best Kentucky friends. And my admiration and love for you just like deep and significantly in that short Thanksgiving weekend, just because I saw what. what meant most to you, right? Again, one of these things that I appreciate so deeply about you and have come to love so dearly

is that your prioritization is just so spot on in life. And so there are many, many different people in your specific career who will say the right things, will, you know, have a lot of different provocative content just to chase clout and just to be the topic of conversation or maybe push themselves. really hard. Like, I've got to be in this conversation in this room and talk to this person to leverage this situation.

But with you, like, you honestly couldn't care less about, like, career advancement or... Oh, the big parties and all that. Like, I hate it all. Yeah. I do it because I need to do it. Yeah. But it's not my scene.

It was just so cool to see... I'm a homebody, really. Yeah, and to see you, like, with your, you know, hometown friends, just being your hometown stuff. Cuddled up on my mom's couch in my sloth blanket. She's a little sloth blankie for me.

Yeah. Yeah, and it was just so, so sweet because, like, I know there was no other place you would rather be than with your friends and with your family. And I saw right there and then that you not only valued that so deeply, but that infrastructure, that apparatus you had around you was really comforting for me because, you know, you're living out here in Arizona. You don't have the full context of who you are, where you come from, but for me to go back to your hometown and to meet your friends and to meet your family.

I'm like, oh, Alex, like this, this picture is coming together now. And it just made a lot more sense. And just my admiration and love for you just grew exponentially there. And that's afterward, right, when I told you, I loved you. Maybe like a week later. A week later. Or two. Yeah.

And then, honestly, I thought you would say it that. No, I did not. But you weren't ready. No, so here's what's interesting. His was very much a through line, very romantic, pursued me nonstop for years, literally multiple years were pursuing me and they didn't stop once we got together. There was a lot going on in my life. I had just gotten out of a horrible relationship.

Charlie Kirk was murdered. I'd lost my dad in the last year. Like there was just so much going on. Honestly, when this all happened and like he posted that blog and I accepted the date, like, I wasn't thinking like this guy's going to be my husband. And I'm like, this is another date with somebody that is, you know, whatever. He's probably going to be interesting. And when we're on that date, at the end of it, I said, you're the smartest man I've ever met.

And I think you're the most interesting man I've ever met. But it wasn't like I felt like romantic sparks. Like, I wasn't like, you know, just totally overwhelmed with like, I like this person. I didn't even know if I liked you. That's the truth. Yeah. And I was just like, well, he's interesting. I want to see him again.

We have a lot in common. You know, maybe there could be something there. but I just don't know. And I'm not even in a place where I don't even know if I can entertain dating or being in a relationship. It was just a really, it was just an emotional time for me. So we have our first date. And then I leave for a week.

I come back. Our second date was a double date dinner with a married couple friend of yours that I love. Yeah. Cross for Kevin and his wife Jordan. They're the coolest. They're awesome. And so, had dinner with them.

You asked me to go to church the next morning with you, went to church. You had to be at the airport the next night to leave because you had a work trip for a week. And so I offered to take you the airport.

On the way to the airport, I'm not thinking anything. I'm just like, this is a, I don't know, nice guy. We've had like two dates. I don't know. I'm still not liking you yet.

Like, I'm liking you as a friend, but I'm not thinking anything romantic yet. I'm just like trying to get comfortable around you. And he literally drops this bomb on me. And it's like, you go, so Alex, I've been really thinking. And I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend. The way that my jaw dropped, it was the last thing that I was expecting to hear you say.

I'm like, we don't even know each other. Like, how can you say? And I was like, we haven't even kissed. We haven't even held hands. Like, I've literally had like two dates with you, you know, two and a half. Like, we don't know each other. And you were like, well, I don't have to have done any of that yet to know that I want to pursue do this and for you to be my girlfriend.

And the reason I said I asked to be your boyfriend was because you had mentioned earlier that a guy was coming around for a second date that was not me. And I wanted exclusivity. I was like, no, I got to lock this down. You're mine. I went on a date with somebody else the night before you. And so I think I had just met. Okay.

You were like, when was the last day? Oh, I think on our first date you might have said when was the last time you went on a date? And I was like, well. last night. Was that the date you shared the gospel with that guy? No, but there's been many of those in the last year at that time. So anyway, yeah, so you felt like... Yeah, I'm like, no, there needs to be one guy in her life,

and that guy is going to be me. So I wanted that, you know, title, that DTR, if you will, to make it exclusive to Vance. And like, and hear me out, now we're married, obviously, so I can say this and you guys know there's a happy ending. But when he's saying this to me, My heart is saying no. Like, I don't want to be official with you.

I don't even know if I like you. I don't know how I feel. My brain was saying you need to say yes. Because everything that I was looking for, praying for in a husband, you obviously embodied. And I was, like, shocked because I'm, like, sitting there. And you really, if you want time to think about it, you can think about it. And I was just like, I was like, okay. And I was like, why?

Don't be saying yes. Yeah, I was like, why am I saying yes? And I was like, I remember you leaving like, we get to the airport. I drop you off. Also, I made you cookies on the way to the airport. I gave you cookies. That was really nice. That was really nice.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I gave you a little snack bag for the plane and a note. Yeah. Also, there's something sort of, I mean, maybe this is just me, but there's something romantic about dropping somebody off at the airport. So it felt like the right time to like ask a question. Yeah.

I was just like, how do you even know how you feel about me? But the truth is you had had so much time to kind of hear me, get to know me. I knew you better than you knew me. Yeah. So I was just kind of going in blind. But I said yes. Yep. And then basically the whole time he was on this work trip, I'm texting my friends like,

what have I done? I don't even know this guy. I don't even know if I like him. Maybe we should bring up. When he gets home, like, I'll just see how it feels that if I'm not feeling this is not a big deal. Nobody even knows that I have a boyfriend. So it's going to be easy if I break it off.

And so for the first like couple weeks, it was just really. really, it was hard for me. I was really unsure. I was trying to get to know you. I think you were also trying to just like figure out boundaries, be respectful. My dating culture that I came from was a lot more worldly than yours. And so there was just a lot that was like normal or customary to me that like wasn't to you and vice versa. And so we're just like trying to understand each other and where we're coming from.

And so I think you were calling your friends like, should I break this off? and then I was calling mine like should I break this off but you are all you would always like come back around and be like no like I know I see the potential here I know that this is what I'm looking for yeah I like I knew where you stood on all of the very very important issues on all the fundamental issues that are requisite and being aligned for for a successful relationship and marriage but I think there were some different ways about navigating each of those issues that whether that was communication or, you know, just different ways that we had going about things that we were trying to figure out and identify.

And so, of course, it was just, we were just trying to figure it out. It was our growing season. So it took me a month after Vance said, I love you, to say I love you back. Yeah. And I said it, ironically enough, after meeting and spending time with your family for Christmas and fell in love with them. Yeah, she said it on an airplane. And I thought I was going to freaking take down that airplane because I was so hyped.

Yeah, I leaned over and whispered in your ear. I was like, hey, come here, I want to tell you something. And then, I don't know, you probably thought I was going to give you a kiss or something. And then I whispered, I just said, I love you. And you were like, whoa! You were so excited. Because I knew how much it meant to you for you to say those words. Yeah, so I really took my time.

You know, I did it. Nothing about this relationship was rushed. It was very thoughtful. Yeah. I just, especially after my last relationship, I wanted to be so sure. I just, I couldn't go through what I went through again of like thinking a guy is one way and then horrifically finding out another like a Jackal Hyde situation. I just, I couldn't, I mentally, especially after Charlie's murder, I could not deal with that again.

Or going through something like so emotionally traumatic. And so anyway, basically after that, I mean, how soon were you thinking like, okay, I think I want to propose? I was dating for the intention of marriage. I think you were too. Um, I think that I was like, yeah, I'm going to marry this woman. Uh, there were different people in my life, really wise people. They're like, it's not like they didn't like you. They're like, we think she's awesome.

But there's just the test of time is really important. My friend just became a new mom and her baby has been dealing with horrible diaper rash. So naturally, I became the completely normal friend who responds to this by launching an investigation into the intent. tire diaper industrial complex. First, we talked about what's actually in diapers. And then I told her everything I learned from my friend Alison Evans about how irritating some baby wipes can be, and that you can literally use water on dry wipes instead. We have somehow reached a point in civilization where cleaning a baby requires a chemistry degree. And then to help soothe and support the irritated skin, I sent her active skin repair. Active skin repair uses hypochloris acid, a molecule that mimics

part of your baby's natural immune response to help clean skin. Soothe irritation and support healing. And it's not just for diaper area irritation. I use this stuff on everything. Cut, scrapes, burns, sunburns, rashes. If you've got a bachelorette party coming up, you should bring active skin repair. If you are going to be hiking in the woods, you should bring active skin repair. Basically every minor skin catastrophe that your household produces, you want to use active skin repair on it. It's totally non-toxic. It's clean ingredients. It's gentle enough for the whole family from pets to grandma. Go to active skin repair.com. Use code Alex for 20% off. That's ActiveSkin Repair.com, code Alex for 20% off.

The best part about fall is obviously the drinks, the kimonos, and the hats. September hits, and suddenly I'm wearing an enormous knit kimono and a completely unnecessary wide-brim hat while carrying a seasonal beverage around my house like I own an apple orchard in Vermont. I don't. I've actually never been there. It's on my bucket list. If somebody lives there and wants to host me, I'll come and I'll read your kids' bedtime stories.

It'll be fun. It could be 104 degrees outside here in Phoenix, but the outfit is a lie. The beverage is real, though. And this is where vanilla cowboy claustrum becomes elite. Here's your fall drink. Coffee, whole milk, a little maple syrup cinnamon, and a scoop of vanilla cowboy clostrum. You froth it together.

You have a maple cinnamon latte that tastes like you paid $11 for it at a coffee shop where the barista is just openly liberal and disappointed in you. And you're getting Cowboys' whole bovine clostrum from grass-fed U.S. dairy cows while participating in the most important female tradition of September pretending that we live in a Nancy Myers movie. Cowboy also makes cookies and cream,

which is dangerously. good in milk or smoothies. Go to Cowboy Gloucestrum. Use code Alex 25 for 25% off. That's cowboyclostrum.com. Code Alex 25 for 25% off. Put on the hat, make the drink. We have three months before peppermint takes over the government. Probably our biggest fight while we were dating was you had siblings that were telling you, are you sure you want to marry her? She's not into running. And you told me this. You told me that they were like, I was like, what are your siblings thinking? And he probably shouldn't have told me.

He's like, I mean, you know, is there, should there be a concern that, like, I'm a lot more, like, physically active than you? Like, is that lifestyle difference going to be a problem? And I was like, you're going to say that you can't marry me because I don't like to run? Like, I was just like, you know. And I think that was our biggest argument because I was like, that's ridiculous. We have all these other things. But you were just being, you were being, once it got into the like, okay, do I, is this the person I want to marry?

You're obviously thinking very seriously and critically about every single thing, which you should to see, are we going to match up? Well, are our lifestyle wants going to match up in a marriage? Yeah. Because you just have one chance to marry the right person. Yeah. And so, like, to me, I was like, this is the dumbest, most unfair thing. And your siblings, though, they had a point because you love being physically active. Yeah. Yeah. And it is night and day to me.

I do it because I have to. It's not because I want to. You do it because you love to. Like, you are grumpy if you don't go run like 10 miles. And I, or lift, you know, and weights or whatever. I do CrossFit. Like, I just could not be more different. And so I didn't, yes, we're different, but I'm like, this is a stupid thing to rule somebody out. But they just knew how much that stuff mattered to you. Like, would you be okay with that or would you want to marry somebody who shares all of the same fitness ideals to, you know? to be like this, you know, very athletic person with you. Yeah. Yeah. And going back and I'll be honest with you, would it have been married? Would it be nice that you're like a freaking track star? Yeah, that would be sick. Like, but you like going back to like, I knew you had everything else.

And secondly, you know, you had all the basic really cool, attractive traits about you, quality traits. But also, I knew the key ingredient that everybody should be seen. speaking out in a spouse is that teachability, that learning mindset. And I knew that was a key part of who you were. And so you may not be. He thinks he's going to convince me. No, I will. Alex Clark.

To be a crossfitter. No, no, you don't have to be a crossfitter. But I'm going to get you. We're already playing pickleball. We played tennis on the honeymoon. It was not good, but we played. And we swam and paddleboard and all those things. But, no, you have, you understand.

the value of things. And you say, you know, I'm not physically fit now. But I'm stubborn and I don't like being told what to do. I have to come to the conclusion on my own. And so you have to do a little reverse psychology with Alex. So you have to be like, man, today's an awful day to go on a run. It's so not nice outside. And she'll be like, we should go outside on a walk. Well, yeah. And you have to be willing to, I think with me, know that there's going to be a lot of whining and push. And back with any type of physical activity or sports activity at first. Which we're working on. We're working on.

Which on the honeymoon, I whined a lot about snorkeling because I'd never snorkeled. The water was getting in my mask. My moisturizer was burning my eyes. I've never worn flippers. I couldn't figure out how to swim with Oman. You're like, you're complaining for 20 minutes. I was like, but then I did it and I had fun. And then I was like, but see, but I ended up doing it, but I just, I had to get all my gripes out.

Yeah, no, you did. Yep. And I was like, there was like 70-year-old women over. they're having the time of their lives. And I was like, but they've snorkeled before. I'm like, I don't think they have. It's like a pretty, you know, not super complex thing. But also the snorkeling was super fun.

And I'm so grateful you did it. Going back to the concerns, though, um, it was, it was, they, they were valid. And I appreciate that's a cool, a really cool thing to have, again, this really strong network of people, you know, looking out on your behalf. They see and understand the gravity of, um, and I appreciate, marriage covenant and like dude have you thought about this have you thought about this have you thought about this and that's so important uh for for setting yourself up for success and so i'm like i'm not once um mad or or upset that people brought their gripes uh or maybe you know concerns to me like i love

that and we should all aspire to have a community around us who knows our strengths knows our weaknesses. So how did you end up deciding like it's fine that she's not those things? Like because you were waiting. Yeah. Would this bother me? How did you come to conclusion that it would be okay to give up on that dream? I talked to just other guys in my life who knew you and knew a bit more of the context of a relationship. And we're married themselves. Yeah. And we're married and they're just godly wise guys. I'm like, hey, what do you think about this, you know, thing that this person brought up? They're like, oh yeah, that's like, that's certainly like good to think about like. But, but. He's like if in my marriage, if we were to go down like a list of call of all of the things that

I do that are different than my wife or preference that my wife has over me, it's like you're never going to be 100% aligned in all of the interest and passion points that you have. And honestly, that's a cool thing because you can introduce each other to new things. You've already introduced me to a lot of different, you know, media or books or different, you know, movies that I've never seen that are real that you think are cool and I've introduced you to different things and that that's what keeps a relationship interesting I don't want to marry a female version of myself I want to marry you as the individual and that's what I communicated to you know my family and they were stoked like and once that's the thing cool thing about my family like once

I made up my mind I'm like yeah no Alex and I are getting married they're like let's freaking go like we are your biggest supporters we're going to be with you We're going to provide all the support you need for the marriage ceremony itself, which they did, we'll get to. But also for giving you all the resources and support you need, whatever you need, prayers, all those good things for a successful marriage. And I'm so grateful for that. One thing that was so cool is that multiple siblings of his,

including his parents, while we were dating, you know, took time and money to come and visit us down here and spend quality time with us. and one of the things that really made me fall in love with your family was these are the most intentional people and best conversationalist I've ever met. Your parents are so wise and intentional with their questions. I mean, every single time Vance and I hung around his parents, I mean, they peppered us with questions about a relationship about things going, but also your dad and your mom. Okay, what's one new thing that you guys are liking about each other since the last time we were together? You know, and just really, I've never dated anyone whose parents or family were so involved in making sure that you guys are dating, you know, either on the track to marriage or to break it off,

to help you quickly figure out. If this is not heading towards marriage, let's not waste any time. Which I really appreciated. And I think that was helpful for us in figuring out our feelings for each other. Obviously, we were lying each other, but it's figuring out, is this my wife? Is this my husband? And so they were praying for us and your sister's just texting me like, Alex, just thinking of you, heard this interview you did, and I'm just praying for you.

I'm so thankful that you are dating Vance. You guys are so good together. Mostly that's Bryce. Yeah, Bryce. My oldest sister. She's the best. His oldest sister. So like, just all of that, I was like, wow, this is my dream family that if I'm

marry this guy. Even though we would be living far away from the family, which is a huge downer. You know, I love Jefferson Bethke's book. Yeah. Taking, taking back your family. It's my favorite parenting book. And like, I love the multi-generational living. And man, his family would be the family to do that with if there ever was one. And a lot of them are basically on the same property, kind of like a compound on this 50-acre hill living together. Very cult-like. Yeah, very cult-like, totally. Yeah, fundamentalist. No, I'm just kidding. That's just internet rumors. But I just thought, what a community to have when, you know, the realities of marriage and life and motherhood and fatherhood set in. And we're going through the thick of it to have these people who, from the jump of our dating phase, are praying for us and being intentional with us and checking in and taking time to visit.

And, you know, we obviously went to go visit too. But it just meant so much. Like, wow, this family cares so much obviously about you. but if I marry him, they're gonna care so much about me and our kids and just like, I don't know, I don't know what else to ask for. Obviously, like, I have friends whose parents are not even involved in their kid's life at all,

and it's so sad and devastating. And so I, it's just something, one of thousands and thousands of things that I count my blessings on with you and your family and everything. But, yeah, I mean, I'm so grateful for it too. My parents are, yeah, just the best examples and they're so godly and diligent. As individuals, they have such,

robust relationships with the Lord and are continually seeking his wisdom, then as a unit that is multiplied. And we're just the beneficiaries of that. And I'm so grateful for that. So then you start figuring out that you do want to propose. How did you come up with where you wanted to propose? I knew it needed to be in a cool location. And the one thing you had told me multiple times was you wanted to be surprised and also you're like you definitely had like a timeline you're like it'd be sick if we had a summer wedding up in Washington but you're I need to be surprised I'm like well okay you're not giving me a lot to work with her sweetheart but I I got the ring and you know all those feelings you have of like

walking into the ring shop you just have like a giant smile on your face it's just so fun like the whole process of pre-proposal proposal engagement it's just like such a fun season so i got the ring uh and i knew it needed to be surprised and so we actually went up to washington state for my brother's wedding up in seattle and um i proposed after they got married i didn't want to do it beforehand to take their thunder that would be tacky yeah you know the bride's walking down the aisle and i stand down and propose to you. No. I proposed Memorial Day weekend. We were taking a walk out there in Seattle on a beach, Al-Qaeda beach. And it was cloudy, which is my... Yeah, she loves the clouds. I love a cloudy, gloomy beach day. There's something about it that is so romantic to me. I'm just a melodramatic. I'm

like really weird like that. I like sad music and scary movies and I don't know. I think there's something beautiful about the melancholy aspects of life. Like, I don't know. I think sad that Things are beautiful. Yeah. And I guess some could argue a beach that's cloudy and gloomy is kind of sad. Yeah. And so I'm like, ooh, let's walk on the beach. Yeah.

Yeah. So I don't think, you know, you're, I don't think at the time you're not thinking anything of it. We start taking the walk. Oh, also at the time, the times you had come up to the Northwest, you had developed some sort of allergic reaction to the Northwest. Yeah, we thought it was like in nature. Now I think it's something else.

Yeah. Yeah. Where her eye would just swell up. And she looked like Rocky Balbo and we're like, gosh, you know, she still looked beautiful, but definitely a swollen eye there. And the morning I was going to propose, she texted me, she's like, dude, my, my eyes swollen, I'm like, shoot. But fortunately, it acquiesced and it kind of resided and went down.

And then we're taking a walk on the beach and I see the photographer. And I'm like, oh, hey, there's my photographer. So I walked down and I propose. And again, one of those. Keystone, you know, pictures you'll have in your mind forever. I'm on one knee. I'm like, shoot, this is it. Will you marry me?

Well, he had me turn around. Yeah, turn around. So he's like, ooh, this is pretty. Like you looking at the view. Let me get a picture of view from behind looking at the view, which is smart. So I was like, okay. I'm so dumb. So I'm like, sure.

And then I turn around, he's on one knee. And I mean, I like jumped 10 feet near. Yeah, you did. Yeah. You were like, what? Just completely stunned. I'm like, yes, mission accomplished. So proposed.

She said, yes. And then we started wedding plenty. And at the time, we didn't know what we wanted to do for a wedding. We had ideas. We thought about eloping. Yeah. I would say highest contender was the Cliffs of Moore in Ireland. Yeah.

Again, cloudy, gloomy, romantic, very withering heights. Vance hates that. Comparison. Not the book, but the movie. Yeah. Well, that vibe is I was really going for. And so, which you thought Ireland would be great. But then we were just like, but do we want to have our closest friends and family?

Do we not? Yeah, yeah. I think that was a cool conversation. We talked again about just what marriage is, what it means, the uniqueness. I think there are very few things left in culture and society that are looked at with respect and gravity. And marriage is one of those things. And so I'm like, no, I really want to have a ceremony that, represents the uniqueness and just the momentous occasion that is marriage. So my parents were like,

have the wedding at our house. And we're so grateful for that. They had hosted one of my sister's wedding at their house. And it was beautiful. And they, I think, I mean, in my opinion, they won up that wedding with our wedding. And my dad in particular just spent the entire summer refining the grounds. just he was so on top of it with his labor, with those wildflowers, you know, every day he was, he like, he was just such a tender gardener. Oh, the love and care. I mean, like, he literally sings to the flowers.

Let me tell you something. I'm not kidding. The loving care that was put into this wedding from your family. Yeah, yeah. Is indescribable. Yeah. The all I can do is the pictures are out now, obviously at the time. We're putting this out with the announcement,

the wedding announcement and our wedding photos. so you guys can see on Instagram. Literally, every single thing you're seeing in the photos of this wedding was done by his family. I had, first of all, I'd always wanted a short engagement. So we got engaged after seven months of dating and then married after three months of engagement. Yeah. And we had thought, you know, do we want more time to plan this wedding? But we knew we wanted to get married at your parents' house in Washington.

And Washington is rainy, cloudy, all year except the summer. And it's beautiful in the summer with clear blue skies and wildflowers and mountains and green lush grass. And so it's like if you're going to get married in Washington, unless you really do want that moody rainy wedding, which I love a moody rainy, but we had that for the proposal. Yeah. So I wanted sun summer. Yeah. I have this vision for a elevated formal garden party aesthetic. Naturally.

And so I thought your parents' house and it's, yeah, it's just the most stunning property on earth. And you can see Mount Rainier, which of course. course on our wedding that was one thing there was a little bit of clouds and so you can't see mount rainier from our wedding photos at all which stinks because it is there and so that was the there's there's only three things that were like that went wrong at the wedding i'd say that was one that the clouds i don't think that went wrong that's not like something that went wrong but to us i was like hopeful so don't say that went wrong okay um so anyway we didn't have the mount rainier view which normally you have clear's day from his parents yard but everything from the floral

to table setting, design, everything was done by your family. Yeah, yeah. We didn't spend anything on florals. It was all handpicked. Yeah, from your family's gardens and friends' gardens. It's literally unbelievable.

Your little brother Rudy did my aisle flowers along with a couple sisters and your Aunt Leah. And he had like nieces and nephews out there, stuffing a few. Everything was handmade, homemade. We wanted to, you know, I told everybody you have to, guys in light suits, pastel suits, colorful suits, floral ties. Women should wear, you know, long, formal, floral garden party type dresses, midi or maxi dresses. Everybody, I think all of our guests were on point with the dress code.

I really hammered the dress code because I had this vision of how it would look in video and pictures and it was nailed. Totally. And I really wanted our wedding looks to be unique. I didn't want it to look like, oh, she was a 2026 bride. I wanted people to look at our wedding photos decades from now and say, like, what year did they get married? That kind of timeless or like, I can't totally pinpoint based on their outfits of what decade this was. Was kind of what I was going for. I wanted this very late 80s, early 90s,

Couture bridle, not like cheesy 80s bridle. But I wanted some of those elements in my dress. My dress was thrifted from a buy-sell trade, Utah website. The girl was awesome. I found that dress. I was looking for something exactly like that, came across it. I get this girl's number. I'm like, is this dress available?

I will order it right now. She was like so confused. She's like, sure. She probably had no one that enthusiastic. from the Utah buy-sell trade, mails it to me. So that's how I got my dress. And my veil was from Etsy. So I didn't, you spent way more on your, actually, we ended up spending way more on your attire. But I also, with your look, I wanted something different because we were doing this like formal garden party look. Sorry, this is my time to nerd out a little bit. With your look,

I really wanted something different, hence the cream pants, the brown tweed jacket, different pattern handkerchief, whatever, that's called Pocket Square, brown tie, brown and white striped shirt, the amber colored glasses. I really wanted something unique, having the suede brown piano loafers and all of that. Like that was a specific look I put together, which I was really proud of. I loved how your look turned out. I was like, I thought it was so sick. And I was so happy with my dress and everything.

Just all of it was exactly in my mind since I was little. What I imagined looking like as a bride, what I imagined my wedding. What I imagine my wedding looking like, literally straight out of like a Disney movie with the flowers and the forests and the apple orchards and the rolling hills. I mean, just every photo that you guys see, it looks like we're in 14 different states. And every photo from our wedding photos is taken on the same 50 acres. It's just, that's how many different pieces of scenery and stuff that you guys have. So it was so cool for wedding photos. And then for the meal, we, oh, we have.

to explain why we wanted to do no dancing. Yeah. So this was super controversial that we chose to do for a wedding, which was mostly me because you love to dance. You're an amazing dancer. You can line dance. You can swing dance. Basically, there's nothing athletic or body movement-wise that Vance sucks at, which is super

annoying for me because everything body-wise I suck at. So I was like, please God, no. I hate wedding receptions. I love the meal. And then I always want to leave. I don't like to dance. I'm a horrible dancer. Also, my dad is dead.

I'm like, I have nobody to, to dance with, you know, for the father-daughter. It's just the whole thing. I'm just like, I don't want to do this. And so I, I, like, begged and pleaded you, and you were really, really hype about it. And you were totally, you signed off because I said, what if we do, like, a really epic, I mean, ball-out, like, six-course regenerative farm dinner instead. That's my love, language. Yeah. And you were, like, 100%.

sold. So we use this girl's Chef Page, PDX. You can literally, that's her website. Go support Chef Page. I heard she was awesome. Absolutely chronic. Okay, so what were some of the things on the wedding menu? Yeah, no. Well, first of all, all of her ingredients were from the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, local, organic, seasonal. End of summer. So just like, you know, completely bountiful with all those fresh food. People said the peaches and whatever that salad was that you chose were the best peaches they've ever had. Also from Washington State. Yeah, so no, we had like, you know, that amazing herbaceous salad with peaches and hazelnuts. And then we had pesto pasta with freshly made pasta.

We had salmon from the Columbia River. Freshly milled flour rolls. Yeah, my sister, Annie, made freshly milled flour rolls. And my sister-in-law Kennedy made the most delicious butter with like prosciutto and apricots and time in it. It sounds strange, but like it goes so hard. It's literally the best butter anyone has ever had. It's so good. And then, yeah, we had steak and...

Did you say salmon? Yeah, salmon. Oh, potatoes. There were like herbos to potatoes, green beans. Oh, yeah, those were so... Oh, gazpacho. Oh, yeah. Oh, this was important to me.

So the one thing, I was kind of like, besides no cheese, because I hate cheese. Mm. She told me that on her first date, and I was really concerned because I love cheese. Yeah, I am, I hate, hate cheese. I don't eat pizza, nothing, like all the things since I was a kid. So I knew I didn't want that. But the one request I was like, please, please, please can you make was gazpacho. I love gazpacho, which is like this cold cucumber tomato soup.

I actually had it for the very first time. Only a few months ago in April for my close friend Courtney Swan's baby shower, real foodology, if you follow her on Instagram. At her baby shower, they served homemade gazpacho. And I was like, this is the greatest thing. I had like four cups. It was like super obnoxious. But I was like, this is the best thing I've ever had.

It was so summery. It's cold soup. It's so refreshing. And so I was like, I was like, I want this to be the first course of our wedding meal. So we did that and it was served in teacups. And I wanted the place settings to be, first of all, raw wood table, no tablecloths. We had different candlesticks and colored, we had different colored candlesticks,

different sizes all up and down the table, fresh wildflowers and moss and things all up and down the table. Chandeliers, I wanted, I had various, oh, this was the other, I would say, when it came to wedding disagreements, wedding planning disagreements. One thing that I had to really fight for because you did not understand the vision and were like, this is going to look so tacky. Like, why would you do this? Is I was adamant about having chandeliers

over my wood farm tables. Yeah. That each table need to have a chandelier over. I thought it would look so epic because the tables, there were no tents or anything. It was just open in the backyard, surrounded by literally like chest-high wildflowers of rainbow colors.

And then the mountain ranges and everything. And I was like, I know this will look epic. And I really fought for that. And we ended up doing it and how do you feel about it now? Yeah, big Channeler fan. Yeah, it was epic. It worked out. One unique thing that we also did was I did no bachelor at party.

You did a day bachelor party trip. Yep. The reason I didn't have a bachelor at party, a few things. One, I feel like wedding events have gotten out of control. and I would have loved to have had a bachelorette party if we would have had a longer engagement and time to the wedding. Like if we would have been engaged for a year, I probably could have done something. But me asking my stay-at-home mom best friends, you know, who have five, six kids each, to fly across the country and leave their kids and then their husbands have to take off work multiple times, bridal shower, bachelor's party, and then the wedding within three months. It's like literally not even possible.

I mean, not only is that unaffordable, but it's just like, it's too much time away from kids and then husbands having to take off work. And it just, it was just, I felt like it would be really inconsiderate of me to say, can you come? They were invited to everything. But, like, I knew that, you know, like for my bridal shower, for example, I knew that they were not going to be able to make it. But I was like, I'm sending you an invitation, but I don't expect you to come. One thing that we did do, and this was really your sister's idea, which I thought was so sweet and fun, was two nights before the wedding, Vance's sisters threw me. me a lingerie party. And my friends who were in town for the wedding two days before were able to

come. And they were just the best. Your sisters, everything, of course, was organic homemade, homemade chicken nuggets and ketchup and fries. And they made, Annie made me cheesecake, which is genuinely the best cheesecake I've ever had in my life. She has to make it again. Unfortunately, she was too good at it. So now every time I see her, I'm going to expect this cheesecake. It was literally unreal, like better than Cheesecake Factory. I still dream about it. And you're like, Cheesecake Factory would be good. But that's like what people know is like famous for how good it is.

Okay, listen. So again, he never goes out to eat. So he's never been to chain restaurants. We did do the lingerie party that was such a blast. You decided to do a day bachelor trip with your best friends and brothers. Yeah, that was so fun. One of my favorite things to do is to go to the Oregon Coast. So took my brothers and like 10 of my good buddies.

We all went to the beach and we did a beach volleyball tournament, which again. And surfing. Yeah, and surfing and just swimming in the ocean. And it was a beautiful day out there on the Oregon coast, which is a rarity. But it was such a blast and just like maximum, maximum sunshine on the beach is just my love language. And so it was really fun. Yeah. So that's what we ended up doing for that.

And then the night before the wedding, we had this really special, low-key, very, casual rehearsal dinner night. And what we ended up doing was whoever, because people are flying in from really far away. And so we just said, whoever is in town and would like to attend, it's not required, we're hosting, you know, this home-cooked dinner, you guys can all come and eat. All of the individual kids of the families were also allowed. So that was another controversial thing. Controversy. This is really controversial for Vance's family as we decided to have a kid-free wedding. And this is also apparently controversial in society in general, not just your family. This is a big hot topic on social media right now.

So, yeah, let's just start by saying that I don't, like Alex and I love children. Like, we want to be the fun aunt and uncle. I think we already are. I hope we are. Yeah. But like we love kids. Like we're the first to hold Denise and nephews and to run around with them and to argue with them. Like, and to beat them in pickleball.

Dodge, I can still beat you in pickleball. But we wanted, you know, there are 40 grandkids now in the Vlberg household, not household, but family. And so if those 40 kids were to enter the wedding equation, that just completely shifts the dynamic in the atmosphere of the wedding so that it's essentially just another fun night at my mom and dad at the grandma and grandpa's house. We also just, we could not have done the vision we wanted with the long farm tables and the shandle. and all that because the space to do that would have been limited to literally exactly how many tables we had if we would have added kids into the mix I mean if we were to add kids into the mix not just my siblings kids but your friends kids and you know my other friends that we're talking about literally almost 100 kids yeah yeah probably more like you know it would have turned into a

wedding of 250 people or 300 people and then the we wanted like everyone to have this intentional conversation and make new friends and all this. And just the reality of it is when you're sitting there and it's not a dancing reception. So the kids have to be required to literally sit the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. It's not fun for kids. This isn't like a normal type of wedding for kids. And so that's part of it. And then, you know, the parents just naturally, it is what it is. Like when you have your kids there, you're tending to them, right? You're going. You're following them around. You're doing all this. You're not even able to engage in this like intentional conversation like you want to. And also, my siblings with kids, they all loved it. They like. Does they never get that? Yeah. They, they

They never did that. There was zero resentment or like, you know, hard feelings about, I can't believe my kids can't come. They're like sick. We get to have a date night and we get to talk with our friends and our family uninterrupted with each other. And so that, it was really special for them too. Yeah.

So they all like pulled in for collective babysitters or something. I don't know. I don't know how that works. They're all alive. They're all alive. So it worked out. It was only a couple hours. It wasn't a long wedding.

You know, it was just the whole thing was like four hours or whatever. But you were saying the rehearsal dinner the night before. Oh, but the night before is when all of the kids. were allowed to come. And so I think Jane, one of my nieces, forgave me because, you know, when she found out about the wedding and that there were no kids,

she said, she's three. She said, um, Auntie Alex, why aren't I a flower girl? And I said, well, I'm so sorry. I would have loved it, but I would have had to have like 30 flower girls and it's just this whole thing.

And Jane has come around. Yeah, she's come around because now she's seen my wedding photos and her mom told me that she said, Auntie Alex's wedding dress is the most beautiful dress or something like that. So that's good.

No hard feelings between Jane and Auntie Dallas. Yeah. So we've resolved. So I think I'm forgiven. But we did invite all of the kids. We really wanted, especially my family and friends who've never experienced the Vogue family or met your family before to see the circus of the Vogue breaks. And it's so fun.

And honestly, their kids are so well-behaved. They're normal kids, but they are so well-behaved. Like these are the most precious children ever. And we wanted them to perform because all of the kids play instruments. as well as the adults. Yeah. And so every family got up and saying whatever their family like song prayer is. So, you know, ours is we love our bread.

We love our bread. But most of all, we love each other. That's not a real, it's obviously not a prayer, but it's the saying. So like every family, though, has something they taught their kids of like what you say before you eat. Yeah. And so before we ate, every family performed that. And then they also got up and just did individual family performances.

So they planned a song or two. Lillia's family did baby beluga. which was my request because I showed their kids. They have five girls in that family, and I showed your sister's kids, baby Beluga. It's one of my favorite kids' songs. So they're obsessed. They have the Baby Beluga books and the plushies.

And so then they also learned how to do baby Bluga on the fiddle. And so they sang and did fiddle to that, which was for me, which was so cute. And everybody did different songs, and it was incredible. And my family and friends were blown away. Like, everybody had their phones out, like, filming like, like, this is the craziest thing I've ever seen. And then we had an amazing just Holy Spirit-filled worship session with some of your friends. Yeah, so that was so cool. My buddies Bradley and Anson, who I've played a lot of music with all over the country.

And we've led worship in a variety of places. So it was really meaningful and special to have that evening with them where Bradley led, Anson played the keys and I played the fiddle. and we all sang some worship songs together. And so, yeah, it was just a really special evening. My friends and family were all crying. They all said, like, I have never experienced worship like that. And again, when you see the photos, which I'll have to do so many different photo carousels of like

the night before, the day of and the wedding and then the honeymoon. And there's a million things. I don't know how it's all going to come out on social media as we're posting this. So you've seen some things, but I've got to post more. But, you know, this environment and location on the hill, it really does feel like you're in heaven. And so the literal environment as well as just the Holy Spirit and the worship just made it tenfold. It was just the most beautiful weekend of my life. So everybody loved that.

So during the ceremony, my whole life I knew that I'm either, if I'm going to have dancing at my wedding, this is my first dance song, or I want to walk down the aisle to, you are in love by Taylor Swift. It is my number one favorite Taylor Swift song. Every time I hear it, I cry. I think it is the greatest love song ever. It's just, it's my love song. And so one really special thing is because your family is so musical, we had a whole live orchestra, basically. Yeah, not quite.

But yeah, like three violins, maybe a cello, my brother on the stand-up base as well. Synth? Yeah. Then my piano teacher, Jennifer, played the synth, like, emulated that song to perfection. And then our good friend Emily Audison sang the song. She's a singer-songwriter in Nashville. Yeah, and she sang it so beautifully.

And it was such an epic, epic moment when you came down the aisle because you looked radiant. We didn't do a first look until. Oh, that was another choice. Yeah. Yeah. So I wanted everything so traditional. I do not believe in first looks. I think part of the magic of your wedding day is that walking down the aisle and your husband

sees you for the first time. that is to me like that's that's like fairy tale Cinderella movies like you have to see each other when you're walking down the aisle so I was very adamant we cannot do first look yeah um and he he had to be sequestered the whole day he was not allowed to be anywhere on the property I was like very strict about all of that stuff so we don't accidentally see each other we had your brother elisha married us and it was so so special again just uh throughout the wedding you know obviously beautiful but again just really meaningful that my brother was able to marry us. He made it very gospel-centered and just we really wanted people, everybody there,

to hear the gospel and to understand marriage in light of the gospel. And Olisha, who officiated us, did an excellent job of that and just made it really meaningful. And I think God honoring. What did you think when you saw me walking down the aisle? I like if the like I didn't know what to think it was just like I had so many thoughts it was all just so surreal being in the front yard that I played growing up seeing you walk down the aisle it's like yeah that is my wife and you looked so beautiful and I was just overcome with joy and all of the emotions all the good emotions it was quite an awesome Did you cry? I didn't cry, but I teared up. And then you did tear up again at what other part? When you were saying your vows.

It's, again, just one of those like, gosh, this is happening. This is amazing. And when you say those vows, it's just you feel the gravity and just the depth of it all. And it's just really cool. And it is also as emotional, too, just not having your father there again to not walk you down the aisle. Oh, yeah. I walked myself down the aisle. I chose to walk myself.

I did have little, like, rhinestones that are the color of my dad's birthstone, like, hammered into the so it would be like he's walking with me. I also had a heart cut out of one of my dad's t-shirts sewn on the inside of my dress. That was super special. And then I also had pocket sewn into my dress just so I could have my primally peer lip balm with me. I have a really funny video because, of course, Bethany, the founder of primarily pure is there. She's such a dear friend, along with Allison Evans of Branch Basics and Taylor Dukes.

Just we've all become like, and Kelly Love of Branch Basics, we've all become super, super close friends like in real life. So they were there. And so I have a funny video of me showing, I'm like, Bethany look and I like show her my secret pocket. I have made just for that because I cannot live without it. I have to like touch up throughout the day. I knew I'd die without it. So we had those pockets put in. And then what is it called when you walk, what your exit song to walking down the aisle? Recessional. You're recessional. Yeah. We chose end game by. Taylor Swift. Yeah, big reputation. Yeah, which we thought was fun. Yeah. And then during the dinner,

a fun aspect in lieu of dancing and whatever, we still had music. You had an epic wedding playlist that you spent hours on. Okay, so I just give me the soapbox for a second. Playlist, make or break an environment. And so you can have a playlist that enhances the environment or one that completely sucks the life and energy and joy out of an environment. So it's really important. there's an art to a playlist. And so I spent hours curating and refining my playlist. So there was a natural flow progression, some soft moments, some nostalgic songs, some new songs, some songs that were meaningful to us.

But you have to have the classics in there. So I made a great playlist. Maybe we'll share it if you guys are lucky. I've really been begging him. I'm like, we should put it in the show notes. Like share our playlist. And he was like, no, this is special to me. So I'm trying to convince him if you guys want him to share our wedding playlist

that we just had while people were eating. dinner. Tell us in the comments, we want the playlist or else. Just say that or else. Or else. Yeah. They're coming for me. Yeah. No, so it was, yeah, and then at the reception, I think is what you were going to say. I was able to play some music, some fiddle songs with my siblings. We all grew up playing fiddle. And that was, again, just another really special moment. We played some original songs that me and my sister wrote. We played some really fun fiddle songs. Alex was like, play some ripping fiddle song. She's like, if, you know, I want devil went down to Georgia,

played at my wedding. And I'm like... The way that he scoffed. Like, if Vance had a monocle, like, that would be the moment that the monocle like falls out of your eye and you're like, you're like dead face. Like, are you kidding me? Like, you're so beneath me.

It was me saying, can we do devil went down to Georgia? But I am not... Listen, I'm being immersed in the fiddle world for the first time ever. And like, when I think fiddle, as most like low info, fiddle Americans do, we think when the devil went down to Georgia, like how fun that is and how fast it is. And so what I wanted with like fast, fun fiddle, I thought would be like a blast. Yeah, and we did. We executed that, but I had to maintain some musical integrity. Yeah, so he said no.

This is one of those terms putting the foot down and saying no to me. Yeah, exactly. Not going to happen. But we played some fun fiddle tunes. That was really special. Then we ate delicious dinner. Oh, the last thing, not the last thing, but one other thing we do need to say. is that we had Teremisu teacups as well. And my sister, Lulia, made these Teremisu tea cups. And most ladyfinger cookies are made with seed oils. We couldn't find any that were not made with canola oil. So Lulia, out of the goodness of her heart, made seed oil-free ladyfinger cookies.

Homemade. Homemade. And she used those for Teremisu with coffee from our coffee shop. And she did, one of your cousins, knows 3D printing, made like a little Vee. and a stencil so that she could do the, what is that, like coffee dust or cocoa dust or something? Coco dust, yeah, yeah. On top of the tiramisu, so it would say V&A on it. It was literally stunning.

Yeah, it was really awesome. And that was so cool. So we had Annie's rolls, freshly made flour rolls, and then we had Sister Lilia's tiramisu and then Kennedy's sister-in-law's butter that we served. And then the rest was Chef Page, PDX. So good. And then. The dinner itself was cool, too, because I think some of our love, one of our love language

together is connecting people and, you know, introducing friends from my circle, friends from your circle to each other. And we're like, oh, we know Jenny's going to love Katie and Katie's going to love Michael and, you know, all those things. So it was really fun to sit our closest friends with one another

so they could connect and talk shop about their different passion points. We had a lot of fun. It was painstaking, but it was also fun trying to do the puzzle of, I think that was the hardest thing for me with the wedding planning. Figuring out the seating chart, like nobody told me how hard that is. Because you've got to think from all directions

across from the person, the left of the person, the right to the person, and fitting their spouse in. How are the vibes going to be? How are the vibes going to be? And we really wanted people to make friends and then just meet new people that they would get along with. Now, speaking of the dinner, one of the things that I was the most excited for

was our gift to our guests, which we really wanted to do something epic. We wanted it to be true to us. And one thing that happened, this is a true story, the first time that I ever visited Voteberg Hill and met your family, I said to you, because I hadn't really been to the Pacific Northwest before, a little bit in Portland, but I just hadn't been, like, in the mountains.

And so I said, this is the freshest air I've ever breathed. Like, I couldn't get over it. How good it felt to take a deep breath with this fresh mountain air and the forests and the trees. and there's just nothing like it. And so we decided to gift all of our guests a Jasper, and it was shipped, like, as they were at the wedding overnighted so that it would get there right when they got home.

And so that was something that we were excited to do. Just you and I, I mean, we've jasper's all over our place. And I've gotten you fully indoctrinated on it. Yeah. And come to think of it, we were just connecting with one of our, attendees and she said that this is not like made up but she said her mother-in-law who comes over to her house they have dogs in her house and when her mother-in-law comes over her mother-in-law will get like super bad hives and just be super scratchy because of the dogs major major allergic reaction scratching so much her

her face will bleed she said but she said when she added the jasper air purifier she no longer has those allergies she comes over and she's like wait what's different yeah so she the mother-in-law comes over and then our friend was like, did you take a Benadryl today or how come you're not reacting? She said, no, I didn't. And then they realized it's because she has the Jasper in the house now. Yeah, that thing is just cranking out, pulling all of the toxins and gross things out of the air, making it as fresh as the Pacific Northwest. So the way we surprised the guest was really cool. So first of all, I had a little Redmond salt at each table, my many ones that I love to keep in my purse. I was like, everybody has to have their salt. We had our, is it taste plants?

Yeah, taste plant and mints. favorite mints, they're super clean, and literally the best tasting mints, they're not, it's not like typical mint flavor. It's not like peppermint or whatever. It's like cardamom and I don't know what, but it's delicious. And so we had our favorite mints at each place setting. You can look those up online. And then, oh, we had wildflower seeds at each place setting. And then I had this envelope and it said, do not open. And it was a teeny tiny mini envelope. And so nobody opened it. And so I said, you guys have an envelope at your seat that says do not open. So go ahead and open them.

And so we were really patient and everybody's opening them. And I'm seeing them like, look, dump them out, searching. And the envelopes were empty. And I said, you're probably wondering why your envelope is empty. It's filled with air. And I told them about how my favorite thing about visiting your family is the fresh air, Mountain Air, and so I wanted everybody to be able to take that air home with them, and that when they got home, they would all have a Jasper.

And so everybody was just like blown away. Like that jaws dropped. I'm still getting text messages. Like, that is the coolest wedding gift I've ever received. Like, nothing will top it. Just it's already changing my family's life. My husband isn't snoring. Like, just all of the success stories that I hear all the time from listeners that have had a

Jasper. Yeah. It was cool to get to gift our family and friends that. I mean, yeah, and it's cool. me as independently I'm so pretty anti like health devices

and gadgets I've never gone on train like I think those shaker things that vibrate your lymph I like the like that's a complete sham like just do a cartwheel type situation

like I just am not into really any of those gadgets however I will say Jasper air purifiers just what they are able to do in a room people who live in cities

like if you're in New York City or if you're in, like, we're in Phoenix, which has notorious bad air because of the dust and all the car pollution. But that thing comes into your home and it makes a house smell like the Pacific Northwest. Yeah. And it really does have really cool, really cool proven health benefits. So we're so grateful for Jasper and, you know, what their generosity for us. And so we could be generous to others. This is genuinely my number one beauty addiction right now.

If you've ever seen me with no makeup on, but my skin somehow looks alive, it is because I am using Primely Pure's plumping serum. I love that Primally Pure's whole philosophy is really rooted in fewer, better ingredients and products that nourish your skin instead of covering it up. I have become way more ingredient conscience over the last few years, especially with products that I use every single morning. I like knowing that those formulas are free from synthetic fragrance, Phaas, and a lot of filler ingredients that you see in conventional beauty. The serum itself is really unique. it has this really faint orange tint from as to xanthin, which is one of nature's powerful antioxidants. It gives my bare skin the tiniest bit of warmth and color, almost like I've been outside for a little while instead of looking washed out. I really appreciate that so much

because I don't always want to look like I'm wearing foundation. It also has ingredients like green coffee oil, castor oil, pomegranate seed oil, and butchukule, a botanical alternative to retinol to help hydrate, support collagen, improve elasticity, and leave your skin looking plump. Use code Alex Clark to get 15% off your Primely Pure purchase. That's primallypure.com code Alex Clark for 15% off. Anything on the site. I was the only child in fourth grade who could not master the recorder. Do you understand how humiliating that is?

It has approximately seven holes. Every other child is playing hot cross buns and I'm producing the sound of a wounded goose being euthanized. My parents, they loved me and I love them, but they let me quit everything. Softball, I quit. Gymnastics quit. quarter, clearly society was safer if I quit. And now as an adult, I'm like, why didn't anyone force me to develop one special skill? All I can do is lick my elbow, which is why one of

the coolest things about becoming a Votberg is that my husband's family has 10 kids. They're extraordinary musicians and now their kids play multiple instruments too. Now, everyone in our family starts on the fiddle. It's like joining the Vaughn Traps except nobody is fleeing Austria. My brother and sister-in-law, Elisha and Katie, created Voteberg Music Academy, where your kid can virtually learn piano, guitar, fiddle, ukulele, violin, mandolin, all from home. You get weekly lessons, live coaching calls, performance opportunities, a community, and they mail your kids' physical achievement badges, which means somebody besides you is motivating them to practice. And the price is shocking, less than $40 a month per family, per instrument. Plus, I've

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Give them the skill they'll actually thank you for as an adult because nobody has ever turned 35 and said, you know what? Thank goodness my parents let me quit piano. I told you there was only a couple things that went wrong in our wedding. Here's what they were. We forgot mocktail straws at the bar. Oh, we also had raw milk lattes. Yeah.

Cold brew. I don't know. Coffee from, yeah, cold brew from the shop. So, yeah. And then we had a couple different mocktails. Yeah. And we completely forgot straws. So that was like, I was so upset because first of all my straw girl.

But two, like when you're having a mocktail to like mix all the flavors, like you've got to have a straw. So that was like totally, that was an error on my part, really. And then the seating chart, one, we had two rows of six tables, all lined together, farm tables. Our row. Okay, yeah, sorry. Right? Yeah.

Our row was correct. So I don't know what happened. Maybe people were rushing, just putting, I'm not mad about it. Just so your family listening that helped do the scene chart. She's got some grudges. No, I don't have grudges. But one thing we noticed was something happened with the other row of tables, like, nobody basically besides like four people were sitting where they were actually supposed to sit.

So it was kind of a bummer me because there were just people that we really wanted to meet and connect and that didn't get to happen. So that kind of sucked. But otherwise, that's really, that's the only thing that went wrong the whole day. I mean, I was so chill. Like the getting ready was amazing. Oh, you had one best man, your brother as a groomsman, Rudy. I chose to have one maid of honor, Nicole, my best friend. I had all of my best friends. We just decided to do one of each because, I mean, as you can tell, 10 siblings, brothers-in-law, like your other brother that got married in May had like freaking 16 people up there with him. Like, we're in this little yard and there's just no way that we could have this.

If we are doing more than one person, then there's a lot of people that you have to include. And there's just not room. And it was just easier. And we also chose to have our best man and made of honor sit, not stand. Just have us up there with the officiant, your brother, Elisha. So we chose to do that. And then I had all of my best friends, though, color coordinate and show up in pink pajamas to all get ready together the morning of the wedding. And that was like the, I mean, the whole day was the best day in my life. That morning was the best day. I also had

three of my best friends stay with me at the house. The others stayed in hotels and then came to just get ready. The three that stayed with me, my mom came early that morning to make my favorite homemade breakfast, which is brown sugar oatmeal pancakes. I grew up, but my mom has this homemade brown sugar oatmeal pancake recipe. That is amazing. Now everybody's going to ask me for the recipe. Maybe I'll share that too. But it's the best. And so she came over to make those and some other things. And then my three friends and I, I had requested, I really wanted to do devotions. And my friend Lacey just did such a phenomenal job leading us in devotions. And basically, we kind of came up with the theme of our marriage and the wedding day itself and just everything,

like me marrying into the Voteberg family, the theme was God's faithfulness. And so we just really sat with what is lovely about this day, what is pure, what is good, what is a good report? And like we really focused on that verse. And kind of we were able to mention like things about your and my relationship that are all those things. And then, and things about like our wedding day itself, things that we had chosen, whatever, that we were like, this is, you know, something to make good report on or is lovely or whatever.

And so that was so great. And just really sitting with God's faithfulness and that's kind of like in my mind when I was sitting there, standing there about to walk down the aisle as I was just praying and I was just saying like, you are so faithful, God. Thank you. Like thank you, God for your faithfulness.

Yeah. And so just because, like, Like we've said, everything I prayed for, down to the tea, I got with you. And just all the, I've just had, I had a rough, I had a rough go of it. I mean, I've talked about that publicly with dating. And it's just been, it's just been tough. And so just for it to all end this way is, it is so beyond. Well, it's just the beginning.

I know. The best part. Well, right. End as in with marriage, but then the beginning. So I'm out of words to describe how perfect it was, and it truly was the best day of my life. We walked out our exit. One thing was we were leaving for a honeymoon the next morning early,

and he lives an hour and a half from the nearest airport, big city. So either Portland or Seattle, we had to drive to Seattle, so we wanted to wrap around like 9 p.m. Because we still had to drive an hour and a half, and we had to get up very early for the honeymoon. And like there was just, there was like no time for anything. So that's the only, the only thing I'm sad about, I'm like, I wish I could go back and relive that day every day because it was the best day ever.

But also, I have like so much post-wedding depression because it was just so perfect and magical to have all of your loved ones in the same place. It was just the coolest. Yeah. And you feel sort of invincible in a way when you have, again, just that support system at your back, supporting you, loving you. it's like man we could take on anything or anyone and and be totally okay because god has provided this and it's such an awesome feeling we left around nine or nine 30 something in there and we had everybody

had um there was a fire there's a fireman i really wanted sparklers but uh you can't have sparklers yeah so it was um didn't want to set this date on fire yeah light up ribbon streamer things um so everybody waived those and I had a big I got a big just married ribbon on the back of the car. That was also like something that's like very traditional like I really wanted. And so we left. We went to our non-toxic hotel. Yeah. Which also Taylor Dukes and Bethany and Allison and Kelly were all staying in, which was hilarious. Different rooms. Different rooms. But they were like, hey, we can come check on you if you want. But they were checking in when we were checking in in the lobby. So it's cute. I'll have to share it.

Maybe in my honeymoon carousel is on Instagram is like us in the lobby, like checking into our room after the wedding. It's just cute. Yeah. We look really cute and excited. And so that was it. Yeah, we left the next morning for honeymoon. That was another traditional thing I wanted.

I don't. And I understand people are going to come from me for this and say, this is so mean. You don't know my circumstance. I'm just saying if you can. Yeah. It's your opinion. Yeah. I think there's something really special to try.

to immediately leave for your honeymoon after the wedding. I know that a lot of people are waiting because they want to do this epic honeymoon. So what they're doing is they're waiting like years, like two years or six months or five years before they actually do a proper honeymoon. And I'm like, I just, I'm of the opinion whether it's a huge expensive honeymoon or even you just stay in the same town or city, you know, for a couple nights at a nice hotel, whatever it is that's in your budget or road tripping or whatever, I think leaving immediately on your honeymoon, it just, there's still.

something magical about that to start your marriage and having that time and not immediately rushing back into real life. We were able to do a 10-day honeymoon. Bora Bora. That was so fun. We went to French Polynesia. Neither of us had ever been. I've never really been anywhere. You've been a lot of places. I've only been to Mexico and Inguilla. Yeah. Yeah. No, went to Bora Bora where the waters were just crystal clear. The sun was shining. Turquoise. Mint, mint water. Yeah, it was trippy. It was like the screensavers. on Microsoft.

You're like, is that place real or is it not real? Turns out it's real. And it was just the most beautiful time ever. We got a lot of fun sunshine and snorkeling as we talked about earlier, paddleboarding and good food. You know, the food there is French. And so Alex loves French food. So there was some French-inspired food.

And seafood. And seafood. A lot of seafood, a lot of heavy metal seafood. But it was, yeah, and I got to exercise a lot. And it was such a blast. That was a killer honeymoon. So we ended up using polished luxury travel, which is really, it's a boutique travel agency and their word of mouth only.

So I can't even direct you to like an Instagram or website or anything. So I can give you an email. And we'll put that in the show notes. And then if you guys are looking for a travel agent, whether it's a family vacation or your honeymoon or whatever, I, the amount of detail and just planning ahead that was done for us, we didn't even have to check into our flights. Yeah. No, it was, yeah, I don't know how that is legal or whatever.

It was crazy. It was crazy. They checked, she checked into our flights for us. They had drivers. They're like, it was just easy. Everything was worked out. I literally, we did not have to lift a freaking finger. It was unreal. And so we wanted to do this French Polynesia thing. And, and, you know, there was definitely a lot of money that was saved on our wedding because it was at the house you grew up. And, you know, we didn't have to pay like a, you know, a venue fee or anything like that. And so one thing that I said, I said, I want us to just go like balls to the wall in the sunniment.

I want like the best to the best. Like we should, we should really like just make the most of it. Like really make this like special. And so we stayed at the, we did 10 days in French Polynesia. We split it in half between two resorts. We did the St. Regis in Bora Bora. And then we went to a private island and we stayed at, it's called the Brando resort. It's like Marlon Brando's.

Yeah. Marlon Brando's private island. that has now been converted into this luxury resort, also in French Polynesia, like a little bit away. And so that's how we split it up. And I mean, I don't know. Yeah, it was such a dream. It was just from the people that worked at the resorts,

the hospitality and customer service was out of this world. And at one point, the travel agent checked in was like, well, how are things going? Do you need anything? And I said, well, the only complaint we have, is at the second resort, at the Brando, at St. Regis, they had every single app on the TV so you could watch anything you wanted to. And obviously, we're not on our honeymoon watching tons of TV, but at night, Vance and I love to watch a show or a movie, like, right before we go to bed.

Like, it's just, we've just, we really enjoyed that on our honeymoon. And so, um, we missed that at the second resort, because at night, it was like, there was nothing to do. The TV that they had, had only like French television on it or you could log into Comcast your cable and then watch stuff that way but we don't have cable so like we only have apps there's nothing we could do anyway so this is like such first world problems

but she said is everything going well and I said well the only thing is we are obsessed with this resort it's like even I didn't think anything could be better than the St. Regis this is even better and so I was like but we missed this and so she like it was like okay and then like I don't know 20 minutes later, we get a knock on the door.

And it's this guy with an Apple TV, and he's just installing an Apple TV for us. So then we had our shows at night, which is so cool. And I made you watch Penn 15, because I said, you're marrying a millennial. You got to know what it was like for me in middle school. Yeah. Yeah.

So now I know. So now he knows. Culture. But at the brand dope, I mean, this place, like, Leonardo DiCaprio has stayed there, I guess. And what the heck is her face? Barack Obama? Barack Obama wrote his book there.

But Margo Robbie has. stayed there. So it's a celebrity frequent hot spot. And we had this stunning bungalow. Fit for the founder of running on butter. Fit for the founder of running on butter, obviously. True celebrity. And we had this gorgeous bungalow with our own private beach, private pool, private hammock, deck. Like, nobody could see us. It was like, it was genuinely like we had the entire island to ourselves. There was only 40 people on the whole resort. So literally, it felt like we had a private island to ourselves. So yeah, there's, there's nothing really the pictures speak for themselves. Obviously we have our lovely French

Polynesian tans going on. Yep. And that's really all I can say. There's so much I could say, but there's not a lot I should say. So that's pretty much it. I guess now let's wrap with just what's next, what are our hopes and dreams and yeah, what we're focused on next as we begin marriage together. Yeah, well, first I'm just so excited and grateful. I, just love you so much and I could not imagine doing this with anybody else. We're such a fun team and you make life so awesome and I'm so grateful for who you are. Yeah, I'm just so in love.

Secondly, I think what we want our marriage to be like is just God glorifying. A continuous effort and a continuous submission process surrendering to the Lord. And I'm so excited for that because the covenant of marriage is so special. that we get to join as a force and join in that covenant is really cool. So I just want it to be God-glorified. We would love to build a family and to raise some butter babies. As soon as possible. Yeah.

And then people always ask how many kids we want to have. 15. No, I think, I think sincerely whatever the Lord provides. I mean, if it's 10 kids, it's 10 kids. If it's 2, it's 2, it's 2. I'm not putting a limit on it. Yeah. And, you know, I'm 33, so it's like, I only have probably a 10-year window.

So however many kids I can have in the next decade, basically. And we have IVF, too. No, we don't. That's a joke. It's a joke. We're anti-IVF. So anyway, yeah, it's just, it's whatever. And so just be praying for us as we, one, start marriage and just whatever, you guys have more

wisdom than us on this. So you married people, whatever you think, hey, I remember my first year. I need a prayer for this. So just be praying for us as we do that. And then hopefully soon I'll be back saying I'm pregnant. But, you know, we're working on it. Yeah. And I'd also just say, thirdly, we have such an awesome church community down here.

We feel so well cared for spiritually. And just like the community we have down here is really meaningful. Very grateful for that. Gosh, this podcast has been so long. We didn't get into your faith of your thoughts on theology. Yeah, I was going to ask you what you thought about Calvinism and Armenian. And now, where do you stand? I feel like there's a special word of somebody that says they're like kind of both.

It's like neither both. Yeah. I feel like that's where I am. Okay. I feel like I lean towards reform theology. I definitely prefer reform churches. Yeah. But I would say I still, I would say like I'm gung ho Calvinist.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. It's very, it's, there's a special word they call it. Somebody in the comments will know what it is. There's a fun word that somebody made up of where you're like in the middle of that. That's what I am. Yeah. No, and I would- And don't you say that you're the same? I think so. Yeah, no. Like, we go to a very

reformed church where they like definitely remind you of your insufficiency and your sinfulness, like every three seconds. Oh, they'll call you out. Yeah, and it's awesome. Literally in front of everybody. No, no. We go to a really awesome church that loves the Lord and they're so gracious and really great teaching and awesome people. The biblical literacy rate of that church is insane. So grateful for that church here in Phoenix. Um, but yeah, Personally, I lean definitely towards the sovereignty of God. Obviously, he predestined us all. That is, you know, indisputable.

But what is also just an interesting fact is that we all have a free will. We all are making decisions on a daily basis. The question then goes to, did God allow you to make that decision? So whatever, it's splitting ears at that point. Yeah. That's what we are. Yeah. No.

So it's just an interesting conversation. I think that we know and I love a lot of people with a lot of different theologies, but who all are committed to allowing the gospel to shape their lives. Hottest theology take? I think my hottest theology take is that I'm not like hell bent on, you should not be going to a charismatic church or you should be going to a charismatic church. Like I'm just like they need to like the beauty of the body of Christ is the fact that it's a body. There's all these different parts to the body.

And so there's going to be diversity in the body. And that's a really wholesome thing when it's centralized around the gospel. And he's a big Joel Webbin fan. No, I'm not. Do not like Joel Wevin. No, he's problematic. I'm kidding. No, yeah.

So we have a really awesome church we're so grateful for. A lot of godly people pouring into us. What's next for culture apothecary running on butter? This has been a corporate sort of acquisition. Are we merging? is advanced taking over? Yeah, I'm going to dominate culture apothecary. My plan has worked.

Yeah, so here's the thing. And maybe this is, I don't know why this is like so controversial. Like people's heads explode over this. And I guess I just, I don't think people understand the nature of this job of when people get bent out of shape because they're like, well, how can you guys be talking about the importance of a woman prioritizing the home? And then you're still working outside of the home. Okay, let me just say this. Can I just say something really quick? Sure.

The fact that you're commenting on social media is proof to me that your priorities are misaligned. The fact that that is taking so much mental capacity away from your own household says to me that maybe you should reprioritize. Facts. But a lot of people get very confused about this and they try to use it as some kind of gotcha. Here's what's happening with the show is I, you know, hopefully now I'm married and then having kids. I'm not going to say never or I don't know. I don't know what could happen. I could hold my baby and then say like I can't ever work again.

I don't know. Right now, I think we both feel like this is where God wants me to be. And I'm able to invite such incredible experts and theologians and doctors and leaders on the show and give people free, helpful, life-changing, culture-shaking, shifting information. I mean, literally, the Attorney General of Texas has had people listen to my show and then they, like, enacting. lawsuits based on what they've heard of the show. It's so cool. I know. We've helped kill ultra-processed food and school lunches in multiple states. There's just so many things that the show, the opportunities that the show has brought,

the good that it has done for the kingdom is just, I can't, it's immeasurable. It is. And I'm fully on board with that. As an individual, as that's something that's so cool about us as a unit, but as individuals, like we both want to frickin' take down bear in their control over, over, you know, the American way of life and the way they are just infiltrated the government. We both want to allow people to think freely about their medical decisions and give people all the necessary information they can make

to make the best medical and health decisions for themselves and for their kids and for their parents. And so we both, like, strongly believe that as individuals, we want to expose corruption and, you know, bring solutions to problems that every American is facing. So as a unit, like it's only going to be multiplied significantly. Yeah. And so look, my plan is to do this show while I have kids.

That could change, obviously. As of now, as long as I don't feel like my wifely duties, you know, at that point, my motherhood duties are slipping because I can't handle or juggle it all. Then we reassess, and you would be the first to call that out. Well, I think we both would. I think, you know, again, it's all about constantly re-evaluating what the priorities are, right? Your relationship with God, your relationship with your spouse, your relationship with your family, with your community. And if any of those get misaligned, then obviously your work below that.

But if those get misaligned, that's when we're going to be re-evaluing and say, hey, something has to change here. We got to reevaluate. We have to make sure the priorities are the priorities. and that's something that everybody has to do whether you're working or not. And so I think we just got to be constantly reflecting and I think we have all the tools to do that. And look, I have an amazing, incredible team.

I've got two girls that run social media for me, sometimes three, if there's an intern. We have... Shout out to Caroline. Shout out Caroline and Ashley. And then also we have, you know, I have an executive assistant that's running my personal life

and professional life. We have multiple, editors, videographers, a booker, a show booker. Like, there's, you know, so many people helping on this show. It's not like it's up to only, there's, well, first of all, it was up to be, the show. Yeah, it wouldn't even exist. But we have this amazing team.

And so, you know, it's easy for me at that point in my life to be like, hey, like, keep me in just the need to know basis. I need to show up. I need to record, you know, pop in for meetings, whatever. But like, you guys got it. And with that comes more responsibility and pay raises and all that for them. Because their plates will be fuller. But the show really should at this point be a well-oiled machine.

And so, you know, for me to just be like, hey, I want to dedicate four days a month. And on those four days a month, I come in and I film, you know, three interviews each or four interviews each. It's like, dude, that's the beauty of what's really cool about this job. And then, you know, you and I together can assess different speaking. requests that I have that come in, travel, like all of that will also be adjusted to suit our family life first and making sure, you know, is this worth it for us as a family? Are we going to say yes? Are we going to say no? And then decide together. And so, yeah, I mean, Ali Stucky does similar stuff and her husband's heavily involved. I mean, as far as your involvement in the show,

you guys will have to let us know if you, if what you think about Vance, if you, if we should have on occasionally. I'd love for you to pop on. But yeah, I'm up to it. But I don't have like an aspiration to kick you out of your seat. Yeah. No, definitely not. He much prefers writing on running on butter, but like, I think occasionally it'd be fun for you to pop on if we do like a short episode

on some special topic we're fired up about or whatever. Otherwise, like, your input on the show, I mean, you have opinions on like this thumbnail isn't right or we should change the title. Like I said, we've interviewed a bunch of the same people. And so when I find somebody, I'm like, dude, you've got to have this person on.

You've submitted tons of guests for the show. And so it's just like very, very synergy, very collective mindset when it comes to what we want to produce on the show. It's cool. So, I mean, as far as you guys are concerned, like nothing is going to change for you based on me getting married. And then at least for now, but if it does, I'm the first to tell you. We do have exciting things. I don't know if a few people have picked up on this, but in the last month or so of episodes, you may have noticed that, you know, I've talked more. Obviously, this was a really personal episode.

It's not like we're going to do this all the time, two hours. or whatever it's been. But I am going to kind of chime in more on episodes and share more of my opinions and what I think. Because for the first two years of the doing culture apothecary, I was really learning alongside you guys. Like I didn't know anything. And so I'm inviting these experts on,

teach me everything about health. And so now it's been two years. And I'm still, I'm not an expert, but I definitely have developed some of my own routines, habits, opinions on some of the stuff I learn. And so I feel like I'm at a place now. I can kind of share more. And so we want to do that in one way,

not only within interviews, am I going to share more about my thoughts, but also we're going to be implementing some solo episodes of just me to you, a little just sit down chat, like let's just, yeah, go off about certain topics. And so we're going to be implementing that soon. So that'll just be, it's not a set time or day,

It's just when it happens, it happens. And so you guys can look forward to those when those happen, which will be very soon. So that's really all I have. Are you going to ask me your any question? Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, where can people find you on social media? They can't. You can follow me on my website.

My substack, it's called running on butter. Running on butter.com where I write on all things health and nutrition. It's a really fun website. try to keep it light and fun and easy to read. I ask every guest this who comes on the show. Okay. And the question is, if you could offer one remedy to heal a sick culture, physically, emotionally, or spiritually, what would it be? You know, I've thought about this answer for years now because I've been scheming to sit down in this chair.

No, and the truth is it does change quite often, depending on what I'm reading or who I'm listening to. Yeah. but in light of this conversation and of our new season in life, I would say find yourself a godly wife or if you're a girl, find yourself a godly husband. And get married? Yeah, and get married. I love that. I love it.

I love you. And thank you for divulging. You're a very private person. I think it's kind of funny that we ended up together and that you were so sure of me because You are very private. Like you have no social media like we said. And so my world is a little bit different than yours. And so I knew that I wanted to do this big episode and just kind of lay it all out there.

I know everybody has so many questions. And we just wanted to go through the whole thing. So now everybody's caught up. And you know, I mean, that's literally, we've shared literally everything. There's really nothing else. So, yeah, I'm looking forward to life with you and to our kids. kids in the future who watch this one day. Hi. We love you. Yeah, no, we're so excited. I'm so excited for us and grateful. I love you. Love you. New episodes come out every Monday and

Thursday at 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern, wherever you get your podcast. And you can follow us on Instagram at Culture Apothecary. Me at Real Alex Clark. You can continue the conversation in the Keith Servative's Facebook page. I'm Alex Votberg. And this is Culture Apothecary.