Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark - Who Charlie Kirk Really Was | His Best Friend & Producer Andrew Kolvet

Episode Date: September 23, 2025

What if I told you we’re diving into every single conspiracy theory surrounding the life — and death — of Charlie Kirk? From $150 million bribes to why the tent camera footage disappeared — we...’re pulling back the curtain today.I'm joined by someone who knew Charlie better than almost anyone: Andrew Kolvet, Executive Producer of The Charlie Kirk Show and Charlie’s best friend. We talk about what Charlie and Erika’s family vacations were really like, the biggest disagreements they ever had, and what’s next with Erika stepping in as CEO of Turning Point USA. No question is off-limits — this is the episode where we go there.Our Guest:Charlie's Best Friend & Executive Producer, Andrew KolvetFOLLOW ALEX:Instagram |⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @realalexclark⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram |⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @cultureapothecary⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook |⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @realalexclark⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X |⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @yoalexrapz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube |⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @RealAlexClark⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify |⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcast |⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the Cuteservatives Facebook group to connect with likeminded friends who love America and all things health and wellness!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the CUTEservative Facebook Group!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe to ‘Culture Apothecary’ on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. New episodes drop 6pm PST/ 9pm EST every Monday and Thursday.

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Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What if I told you we're diving into every single conspiracy theory surrounding the life and death of Charlie Kirk. From $150 million bribes to Catholic conversion rumors to why the tent camera footage disappeared. We're pulling back the curtain today. I'm joined by someone who knew Charlie better than almost anyone, Andrew Colvette, executive producer of the Charlie Kirk Show and one of Charlie's best friends. We talk about what Charlie and Erica's family vacations were really like, the biggest disembate. agreements they ever had and what's next with Erica stepping in as CEO of Turning Point USA. No question is off limits. This is the episode where we go there. Watch this episode on the real Alex Clark YouTube or you can watch it on the Culture Apothecary Spotify channel. Leaving a five-star
Starting point is 00:01:07 review right now is crucial. As we rebuild without Charlie, I'd love to know how you found the show. If you're new, if you've been here forever, but you haven't left to review, tell us what you think about it. You can find the show on Instagram at Culture Apothecary or find me at Real Alex Clark, support the organization and the show with merch at TPSAmerch.com. Code Alex Clark, by the way, we'll get you 10% off. Please welcome executive producer of the Charlie Kirk Show and one of Charlie's best friends, Andrew Colvette, to culture apothecary. I always describe you as Charlie's right-hand man, one of his very best friends, producer.
Starting point is 00:01:44 I mean, you're like a founding father of Turning Point USA. I will never forget the first time that I met you. We were at a house party. Dan Crenshaw was there and he took his eyeball out. Do you remember that? I don't. I think I blacked it out. But I think I remember the event that you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Yeah. So that was the first time I ever met you. And so you've been around since, you know, before I was. Yeah. You know Charlie better than probably anyone else in this company. You and Mikey McCoy, I would say, were the very closest to him. What was his very last week like? Like, what was he talking about?
Starting point is 00:02:17 What was he doing? He was traveling abroad. He was in Seoul, South Korea. and he was in Tokyo. And then he came back to Phoenix and he did the show on Monday, Tuesday. And then I guest hosted the show on Wednesday for him. And then it happened. It's interesting.
Starting point is 00:02:41 I posted on X, a video that was taken kind of, you know, that port portal where you enter the stage from kind of behind the stage So Charlie was doing a big event in Korea was about two weeks ago. And he got done with his speech and the event organizers came onto the speech. And they asked them to come forward and to sing and pray over Charlie. And it's a beautiful video because they just start singing, How great is our God, how great is our God. Sing with me, how great is our God.
Starting point is 00:03:18 And you can see Charlie's head, he bows it, and he puts his hand on. on his heart and he just sits there and he absorbs it. And I wasn't with the team when they travel. I've got three little kids. Charlie was always very good about trying to insulate me from having to travel too much, right? Because we could have just been traveling nonstop. And so he's just sitting there like this and you can hear them shouting and praying for him. Koreans are really amazing prayer warriors actually. And when he got off stage, Mikey told me that, he, he said, he was like misty-eyed. He was really emotional.
Starting point is 00:03:54 It really hit him. And I just think that's so beautiful because he spent this time in these foreign countries. And I remember kind of going, why are you going away? You know, what's the, you know, what's the, but it was after the election year, he was trying to carve out some of these international trips
Starting point is 00:04:12 that have been, the request have been piling up. So we went to London, right, earlier in the year. And we have a turning point UK. Yeah. Like, faction. They're pretty independently operating. But yeah, they're connected to Charlie.
Starting point is 00:04:24 And I remember the team that started that. And it's kind of transitioned. But they've been mourning Charlie as well in some amazing ways. But one of the things that I love about that last trip to Asia is he was still extraordinarily famous in Asia. But he woke up really early in the morning one day and he just got to go for a walk. And he was a walker. Oh, my gosh. He's a pacer.
Starting point is 00:04:48 He paces. Well, his pace that he keeps up when he walks. because he had these big, tall, long legs. And so it was hard to keep up with him when you're walking. But he just loved walking. He loved it. He used to run a ton. So when I first started working with Charlie, he was running like 10 miles a day.
Starting point is 00:05:04 I'm not even kidding. And he eventually couldn't do that because he hurt his back from all the plane flights. And his back was a constant problem for him. So he just was like, okay, I'm going to walk. And he walked all around Seoul just by himself and adventured and explored. And that was, if you get into the day-to-day real life of Charlie, he just didn't have that kind of an experience being alone much. Yeah, I was going to say that's really interesting. Because he had to be surrounded by security or he had his team or the staff.
Starting point is 00:05:36 And so he just loved it. And he got to do that. And he kept sending us like selfie videos from the route he was taking, how he's exploring the city. And he did a couple other walks with his team. But then he went to Tokyo. And I think this is really telling of Charlie. He was talking to a non-Christian audience. The Koreans are really Christian.
Starting point is 00:05:59 The Japanese are not. And he was very important to him as he was preparing his remarks that he shared the gospel. And so there was a whole lot of thought that went into how to do it appropriately, how to do it respectfully, but to do it. And so he did that. And then he got home from that trip. and all I heard about was how excited he was to start the tour. He was so pumped. And it was interesting because anything that was in the news that was contentious or that was infighting, he was excited because he was going to, he knew he was going to get those questions. And he was going to,
Starting point is 00:06:36 a lot of those clips go viral. And it was going to be an opportunity for him to sort of help steady the ship and bring the movement together and articulate what he thought was the best way forward. And what was that? But just depended on the question. It could be the Israel question. It could be the Epstein thing. It could be anything that was kind of hard, foreign policy. One of our last conversations, he brought that up. He said, Alex, I'm really worried. Like, this is really serious, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:07:02 The infighting and the splitting of the movement. Like, this is really a problem. And I said, yeah. But then, like, you know, I don't know. One of us got pulled away or whatever. We literally only said that. So I didn't get to hear more of his thoughts on that. But what was he telling you behind the scenes?
Starting point is 00:07:16 It's interesting because there's been a lot of people who don't know what they're talking about saying a lot of things. about this issue. And, you know, on the one hand, I love it because you've got the pro-Israel side claiming him and you've got the anti-Israel side claiming him now, which is a posthumous thing. But I think, I think that's interesting. You've got the Catholics claiming him and the evangelicals claiming him. Was he becoming Catholic? No. But he really loved Catholic. mass. He loved the ritual of it. He loved the beauty of old Catholic churches and the stained glass. And him and Erica would go sometimes. Yeah. Well, Erica's a cradle Catholic, but she ended up kind of like me. I grew up
Starting point is 00:08:01 Catholic, I mean, First Communion and went to Catholic high school. But then I ended up becoming a Christian in college through a Protestant church, through a non-denominational kind of more experience. It's actually a Presbyterian, and then it was kind of non-denominational. And I think Erica kind of follows that same path. She and I share that. Also, by the way, I just want to draw attention to. She's posted a photo of her and Charlie and the kids in Mass before. And somebody in the comment section said, oh, are you guys converting?
Starting point is 00:08:28 And she said, no, we just like attending sometimes. So she herself had said no. Yeah. And I think Charlie, one of the things, Charlie really hated worshiping in like a gym, you know, or some sort of kind of blank space that you just turn into church. I don't there's no problem he didn't have a problem with the act of that he just didn't prefer it and he loved again the ritual the ancient you know feel of a Catholic mass and the fact that everybody around the world that was worshipping as is Catholic he loved he loved that so he had
Starting point is 00:09:04 some really big theological hangups with that you can go check the videos out him debating with Michael Knowles you know in good fun I mean they were dear friends but they loved kind of debating the whole Protestant versus Catholic thing. So tensions were rising in the movement. This is not news to anybody. If you are participating in the movement, you see it with your own eyes, you see it on X if you live online like we do. And Charlie was aware of it. I will say as far as the rumors go, for donor pressures and all of that. And you can tell me if I'm wrong. Internally, what I noticed was, yes, he was getting pressure about having Tucker speak. There were people angry that we were allowing Tucker to speak. He wanted to double down and said, I don't care the people are
Starting point is 00:09:44 mad. I have tons of different ideologies on this stage, religions, viewpoints within the conservative movement. Everybody's welcome. I want everybody to have a chance to share their ideas. And that's the only pressure I know of as far as donor pressure that he ever received recently. A couple things that's worth clarifying. You know, and you asked me this earlier, so let me make sure I'd say it. Charlie's position on Israel was very clear. I like them more than I like Hamas. I just wish I was free to criticize Israel and not be labeled an anti-Semite because I can criticize my own government and not be called anti-American. Right. But why do I have more freedom to do, you know, that and not criticize, you know, a foreign government? And he was really upset that, that,
Starting point is 00:10:35 was this sort of clampdown on the freedom of expression, the freedom of ideas, free speech when it came to a foreign government. And I will say this, he felt like he had earned the right as a friend of the Jewish people over the years and all of the things that he had done. He felt like his bona fides in that respect were unassailable and that he should have the freedom to say, hey, it's time to end the war. Hey, it's time to stop the killing. But, you know, when you, with Tucker, for example, yeah, I mean, we took some. push back. We lost some donors. And what's interesting is it wasn't necessarily Jewish donors, although there was, because that's a misconception about turning points funding base, by the way,
Starting point is 00:11:16 is, you know, it's not a whole lot of Jewish donors. It's just not. We never, you know, there was always, I saw the comments online like, oh, the Jewish shekels or something like, I mean, it's all this gross stuff. It just wasn't true. And it isn't true. But we did lose, you know, one in particular towards the end that was frustrating. There's a, this great clip when we were in Myrtle Beach, and he got asked if, you know, from somebody in the audience, if he was going to, you know, debate Candace or, you know, disavow Tucker. And Tucker and Charlie's answer, I thought was amazing. I remember he came off of stage.
Starting point is 00:11:52 He was like, do you like that one? He would always ask that for reassurance. Yeah, he always loved like, did you see that? Yeah, do I look good? Was that a good clip? Do you think that'll go viral? Yeah. And I remember saying like, yeah, I thought it was amazing.
Starting point is 00:12:03 It was morally so crystal clear. And he basically said, I don't appreciate being morally blackmailed. And every time people would say that to him, he would dig his heels in. It's like, well, maybe Tucker's going to give two speeches now at Amfest. Or maybe I'll invite so-and-so. That was one thing like Charlie and I, I relate to him so much, is that him and I both do that where we don't like being told what to do. Oh, I've noticed that before, by the way. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Yeah, Andrew, I'm like, oh, there's so many things that we could talk about how many times that Andrew and Charlie have had to put out fires for me that I've started. But like, yeah, when I'm told I can't do something, it's like, well, I'm going to do it even harder than. That's just my personality. Charlie is very much the same way. I think that's the key. It's like Charlie was a friend of the Jewish people and a friend of Israel. Did he have opinions about the prosecution of the war, about he thought their PR was abysmal, thought they were doing more harm than good in many ways for their own cause. So all of those things were true. And he was upset that he couldn't express those things freely, without without all of this pressure coming down on the organization.
Starting point is 00:13:07 He has a lot of great Jewish friends and, you know, and some people that maybe some not so good ones, right? But I think there's just, it's just a nuanced thing. Was Charlie offered $150 million from Israel? As far as I know, no. I had never heard anything like that. Everyone I've asked has said the same thing. And by the way, just for what it's worth,
Starting point is 00:13:27 it doesn't matter the amount that would have been coming down. We would have said no. And there's evidence that is true. Turning point does not, Charlie would not accept foreign money. Exactly. We only took American money. There was money sent to us, like practically in multiple instances. They're trying to cram it down our bank account.
Starting point is 00:13:45 And we said, no, we canceled like money wires and things. No foreign money. And also no handouts from the government. During the pandemic, he refused to do mass layoffs that everybody else in the country was doing. Said no to the, to the, whatever that check was. What was that that they were handing out? Stimulus check. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:01 the PPE loans, right? I always get PPP and PPE mixed up. Yeah, but it was a big, it was a good amount of money that at the time we could have used. Yeah. He put out a company statement saying, you know, this was tempting for sure, but we're going to say no. Yeah. I mean, he was very principled in that way. He was extremely principled, especially on foreign money.
Starting point is 00:14:19 I have, I remember moments we'd be at like an event, you know, and some foreign people would come up and like demand a meeting or try and get a meeting with Charlie. and Charlie would look at me and go, deal with them, get rid of them. Like, just, I don't want to talk to him. So I often had the job of, you know, being the bad guy and saying, I'm so sorry, Charlie's schedule's busy. And, you know, it's unfortunate. You know, we just can't fit you in. Oh, well, here's my card.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Please. Let's, you know. And I mean, on one occasion when that happened, a couple years later, those people got, we saw him in the news and they got arrested. And he texted me, he's like, see, I knew it. I knew it. my spidey sense could feel it. And Charlie did have a spidey sense for who he could trust and who he couldn't trust.
Starting point is 00:15:05 And, you know, in this business, there's a lot of shady people that will try and insinuate themselves into your circle, into your orbit. And you have to be as wide as a serpent and as gentle as a dove. And you have to be able to really assess people's motives and cross-check things. And Charlie was the best at that. Have you guys had a conversation, you know, on the board and just sea level executives of the company? Have you guys talked to Eric about that just like looking at? out for opportunists that are going to be circling around her at this point? I don't think I need to tell Erica that.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Erica is very shrewd. She's very smart. She's very sharp. There's a great story. I can't really tell you who this was, but it was a very important person. And it happened within hours of the news. And the call goes in. She takes it because it was a very important person.
Starting point is 00:15:56 And the question was to her, okay, just as a starting point, like, what do you know? And I think it was in reference to like Charlie's world, his work, his mission, like, how much do you like know about what he was doing? Like what was he doing? But it was inferred. It was like, so what do you know? And she was like, I know everything. And I was like, that's amazing. because she did because Charlie would go home.
Starting point is 00:16:26 And if you knew Charlie, I mean, a lot of influencers, a lot of people in the space, they go out and they party, they do that. Charlie did not. He went straight home to Erica. If she was traveling with him, he went straight home to her very early and hung out with her. And they talked. And they talked. And he would bounce ideas off of her.
Starting point is 00:16:44 And she really was this support to him. And the world is about to discover that Erica is one of the most exceptional and amazing women you're ever going to meet or as Blake says from the Charlie Kirk show side Blake goes, what a woman. I love Blake. The world's going to find out that Erica is
Starting point is 00:17:09 in fact, what a woman. What's amazing about Erica is that she was so happy to defer to headship to the leadership of Charlie Kirk in the household at Turning Point USA. But that was and to empower him and be like this support structure for him and to provide a steadiness and she thrived in that role but that is not to say that she is not capable of leadership in fact i heard you mentioned kind of that call that she had with the staff and she is
Starting point is 00:17:43 she's it's very feminine it's a change in that sense because she's she's a woman it's very feminine it's a different approach, it's different tone, but it's almost like just as efficient and just as on point and just as focused and just as strong. And so it's the feminine version of it. It's like so many of us who have been around Charlie for as long as we have, he has, it's almost like you can't help but absorb his energy and absorb his rhythms. And I noticed this too because I spent so many years doing Charlie's media hits and setting them up for him and prepping him and doing talking points and going through, you know, how we're going to present the arguments. And then here I am, you know, it was the Monday J.D. hosted the show from the White House. And I had five or six media hits
Starting point is 00:18:31 with all the networks lined up. You know, they all wanted to find out more, you know, the biggest story in the world. And so I end up going and doing all these hits from Pebble Beach right in the White House where they have all the media tents set up. And so all of a sudden I find myself in this real place where I'm the one now doing the media hits about the man that I used to do the do that job to like set him up yeah for those media hits and I'm I'm having this almost outer body experience because I I start sort of you know not barking orders but in the sense that when you're in that seat and you're like hey can I get this yeah hey did you check on this and I find myself I was doing what Charlie would do yeah I caught myself I was like whoa like these lessons went in
Starting point is 00:19:17 deep and I didn't even realize it. And when the, when your back's against the wall and you're drinking through a fire hose and you can barely keep up, all of a sudden, the lessons, it's kind of like a soldier. You, you train for the war. And then when the war happens, like your training will kick in. Yep. It was like my training kicked in. And the training was Charlie Kirk. If that's true for me, imagine being Erica Kirk that, you know, they put their heads down on the pillow next to each other. They talked the, you know, before going to bed every night. And in the morning and they were constantly in contact. And so she knows everything. She knows who to trust, who not to. She knows who to embrace. She knows who's going to be the allies in the fights ahead.
Starting point is 00:20:02 And you can rest assured that Erica Kirk is up to the desk. So one thing that I was so excited about and I just am so upset that I didn't get a chance to say thank you or I'm so excited myself to him was right before he died, it was announced that we were going to be giving our female employees at Turning Point six months paid maternity leave. Now this is unbelievable. I mean, progressive organizations
Starting point is 00:20:27 are not doing that. That's huge. And, you know, that was something that they tried to use against him on the left. Like, you're probably so, you know, misogynistic and you hate women and all of this. And I mean, we have more, I believe still, right? More female directors at Turning Point than male. We just love women more than they do.
Starting point is 00:20:47 So we want to like treat them better. And we want to make sure that we love families more than they do. There's no question. So did Erica have influence on that decision before he died? Yeah, a thousand percent. Do you think that we're going to see even some more really exciting announcements as far as like work, family balance that Erica will want to institute here? I mean, not going to get ahead of Erica. So I don't know.
Starting point is 00:21:09 But I'm sure she would love to hear your opinions on that, Alex. and you can You can put you... Well, my opinion, I had said we should be doing longer maternity leave and I'd said that for a few years
Starting point is 00:21:21 and I think at the time that was like really controversial so everybody was like, do not say that. That's insane. That would cost us a fortune. And I'm like, okay, but it goes with our values.
Starting point is 00:21:29 So when he finally said that, I was like, no way. Because I had been thinking that. Yeah, no, Charlie, like, I mean, was very, very much about putting his money where his mouth is and putting his values
Starting point is 00:21:42 on full display so that we knew that we weren't hiding behind something. We wanted to be proud about that. And as Erica said, Charlie, if he was ever elected president, if he was ever in charge of the world, his job, he was going to focus on rebuilding the American family. I mean, that was absolutely center and core for Charlie as far as a passion. We talked about it.
Starting point is 00:22:05 And by the way, I mean, you know this. How many times did he get like these nasty headlines when he would just defend the nuclear family and the traditional values of a family? because, and I realize this so much now that Charlie was essentially just a modern day prophet. Not in the sort of like fortune telling sense, but in the biblical sense of like, here's God's instrument. He goes into a wayward place and he speaks truth to them and calls them to repent.
Starting point is 00:22:30 And then what happens when you call a people to repent? Some accept it and they love you for it. And some reject it and they hate you for it. And that was Charlie Kirk. That was Charlie Kirk's. the central, like, dynamic of his entire, and I will call it a ministry. Yes, it was a mission. Yes, he was an activist, but it was a ministry, was that he would go into a place, whether it was a college campus or a country like London, and that's what he was doing in London. I realize this now. He was
Starting point is 00:23:01 calling London to repent. He was calling England to remember itself and to come back to your greatness. Repent and be saved. And in that sense, like, literally save your civilization. Because you need to, you need to find who you are again, identity. And so Charlie did that when he went to Asia. It was the same thing. And he would do it on these college campuses. He would speak about issues like family formation and getting married. And he would speak into the cultural lie so directly like an icebreaker breaking through the water.
Starting point is 00:23:34 And somebody had to be that icebreaker. Somebody had to go forward so the ship's behind could do it. And that was Charlie's mission. He would speak so boldly and clearly to confront the cultural lie so that other people could come behind him. And one of the main issues he would do that on is getting married, the MRS degree or whatever it was. And people would get so offended. And yet when you get past that level of offense, usually by the mainstream media, there was millions of kids listening online going like, you know what, that actually makes sense. And by the way, I secretly want that.
Starting point is 00:24:04 I can't say it out loud, but Charlie did. Does Erica have full confidence that we got the shooter, the right shooter? I think so. And I also think, you know, I think we're waiting to see if there's more details that will follow. Who knew in advance? Who radicalized them? Was there a funding network? All of that stuff, I think, is fair and open-ended questions that we can keep asking and we should. But I have every confidence that Cash and Dan at the FBI and the whole DOJ are behind this. And the cooperation with local law enforcement has been tremendous. And so, yeah, I'm very aware that there are other theories of the case. And I would just say, listen, we have to open every door, pursue every lead, and be open to being surprised. That being said, there's a pretty high level of confidence that this is the truth and that they got the guy. And now we need to see how deep the rabbit hole goes. How do you think this would have potentially played out differently if we would have had a Harris administration instead of a Trump?
Starting point is 00:25:03 Oh, gosh. You know, it would have been an utter disaster. Somebody said to me this morning actually like how fortunate we are that if this was going to happen. Yep. I said the same. That that we have this administration in place. The administration that Charlie helped get elected and then obviously flew to Mara Lago within 72 hours of the election to help with the transition. So Charlie basically, you know, help his, you know, help hand select some of the people that are now overseeing the investigation and ensuring that justice is done. As we wrap, there's just a couple things I want to hit.
Starting point is 00:25:39 hit. Oh, by the way, very good doing this without questions. Thank you. You're doing well. I love to be super prepared and write out all my questions for my guests. And with Andrew, I know him so well. And, you know, I'm just asking questions that have been in my mind for the last week that we've been just grieving and dealing with this. So I was like, I'm just going to let it roll. You're doing great. I always wanted Alex to be a lot less rigid. You think I'm rigid and everyone else that knows me knows I'm a spas. When we first started working with Alex and we'd book her on Fox or something, she'd be like, but wait, what are the questions? They have the exact question. I was like, no, they're not going to give me the exact questions, Alex.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Like, you got to, it's a comp, you have to be a human and hear what they say and then think about it and then maybe respond. I was scared. She was, you know, I was just trying to like dump it down for it. But she ended up, I mean, obviously you've had such amazing success and Charlie was so proud of you. And so you've taken any advice I could have given you. What were some of the things about me that aggravated Charlie the most or gave him the most trouble? And you just like sometimes don't think the consequences through. of your wild statements sometimes.
Starting point is 00:26:41 So like, what did you ask so and so? Like, oh, okay, how did you word? Oh, you worded it that way. Okay, that was good. What did you tweet? Did you run that by anybody? No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. Free speech. No, totally. Yeah. Well, and we don't censor you. Like, it's so funny. You know, it's like most of our job is more reactive when you don't see all the angles.
Starting point is 00:27:02 It's asking for forgiveness. Yeah. And it's like we don't believe in in that control. We think like we hire good people. and good people are going to do good things. No, there was only, and I said this in my solo episode that came out yesterday, there's only one time in my six years of working here. And I don't think it was, Charlie.
Starting point is 00:27:18 I think it was other management. I had an... Probably me. I don't even think it was you. It was other management, and I had a guest coming on who kind of talked negatively about some people that happened to be donors. Oh. And so it was like, hey, we really are thinking that maybe you shouldn't put this episode out.
Starting point is 00:27:35 And I wrote like a one and only time I threatened to quit. ever working here. It was like my most strongly worded letter just saying if I am expected to go on campuses and defend free speech to these students, then my free speech and my guest free speech should not be squandered within our walls of Turning Point USA. And I just said, we don't have to agree with everything that my guests say. And I have guessed with different opinions. And if those donors want to, you know, come out and disagree, that's fine. So I don't think it was you. And I don't think it was Charlie. But when I said that I think Charlie was notified and then it was like, just let her post it. Never to be, no one ever said anything to me again. And then any other times that I said controversial
Starting point is 00:28:11 things, I would always get little messages from Charlie saying like, like, keep up the good work. I support whatever you want to say. Just like very kind like that. Yeah. Let's talk a little bit about the behind the scenes relationship of Charlie and Erica. And I mean, this is an audience of women that want all the giddy little weird details. Did they go out to eat? Did they cook at home? Who was messy? Who was clean? You know, what were their little funny like tiffs that they were. would have things like that. Traveling with them was always very telling because they had this way of you know, Charlie never raised his voice to her, but they might have a disagreement about what was the right, you know, next few steps in the travel plan and like, should we pick you up here and do this?
Starting point is 00:28:50 And then Erica always kind of would go, you know, she kind of has that no baby like thing where, you know, I feel even weird saying because I don't use the B word. And then he would say back like, yes, yes, sweetie or something and they were always like so nice in their disagreements but you can tell they were like how to they definitely had different plans about how we were going to get the kids to the hotel and then with the dinner and then when she should meet him and you know and so watching them kind of problem solve and work things out in this really sweet way with all these these little window dressings of like I love you's in there was kind of something I you look beautiful but you were so wrong right now like stuff like that kind of yeah in their own way that was the equivalent of what
Starting point is 00:29:32 whatever that would be for them. But that, that always, I'm always reminded of that. And I'm always reminded that Charlie would always drop everything. You know, we'd be talking about something extraordinarily important. He would just be like, okay, hold on, Erica's calling. And just take it. And she was always the number one priority and everything else would stop if she needed something. And there wasn't anything in the world that he wouldn't do for her. I mean, he would move heaven and earth to make sure Erica was taken care of and her for him. I mean, she was, she would put her life on pause to sort of support his life and his mission and his work. One of the things that struck me, just thinking about it, they were just on vacation in the Northeast, you know, this summer.
Starting point is 00:30:17 He loves Maine. Yeah. He loved, yeah, he loved Maine. He loved Montana. There was certain places where he loved to vacation. And I remember thinking, like, it was basically, like a week and a half they had on the schedule. And they had a really cool spot to go vacation. And they had planned it out like pretty far in advance. And then, you know, he got invited to guest host Fox and Friends. So they, in the middle of their vacation, on the weekend, which would have been like the chillest time of the vacation. She was like, well, let's go to New York. Let's do it. I mean, she was totally game for it to interrupt her family vacation for so Charlie could guest host Fox and Friends. And that ended up being such an incredible weekend for him. I mean, those moments of him hosting, it was so fun.
Starting point is 00:31:01 You got to see his really endearing, you know, fatherly side. On a horse out in Manhattan. Like, it was so funny for Charlie to do that. And I'm so glad that they did because, I mean, and Megan Kelly brought this up, so I have to ask you, I mean, Megan says she knows for a fact that there were internal issues with Fox wanting to have Charlie on for several years. Let me just put that to rest. And I actually talked to Megan about this when she came in. to guest host Charlie's show. It is true that he was on a lot and then he wasn't. And that was kind of around some comments that, you know,
Starting point is 00:31:36 he had made around, in and around the Tucker parting of ways. Here's the thing. They have been so supportive and people, I don't know what I'm at liberty to say and what I'm not, but Fox really wanted to fully embrace Charlie. They wanted him to come host the Sunday, or the weekend Fox and Friends again. They wanted maybe put him on the five a couple of times. They wanted to maybe talk about documentaries and things that were close to Charlie's heart. And Charlie was, you know, was excited to do that.
Starting point is 00:32:12 And I'm like very much in life, Charlie was fully appreciated, embraced by Fox. and they understood his talent. And there's actually a really funny story. So Charlie found himself at a very nondescript out in the middle of the boonies kind of place with a couple of very prominent fox hosts. Recently or a long time ago? Very recently. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:39 It was over the summer sometime. I think it was like June or something. I kept trying to tell people, I was like, Charlie has become like super famous. It's like super, super famous. Like you can't take him anywhere. Yeah, it totally changed in the last like year and a half. Two years, yeah. And a lot of that was like TikTok and some other things.
Starting point is 00:32:59 But he became like super famous. And he finds himself at this bar restaurant. And they're kind of out. They tried to get it into the back of this place. And people notice them. And again, this is the middle of nowhere, middle of the boonies. And we're talking top talent. Like you should know who these people are.
Starting point is 00:33:18 And you would know who they are. Of course, yeah. And so they're sitting there and then people start coming up for selfies. And apparently about this happened about a hundred times over the course of about an hour and a half, two hours. And I don't know if they ever got asked for questions as well, but it was basically all for Charlie. So you get like these two top talent Fox and Charlie Kirk. And they end up on more than a couple of occasions, probably about half. the other people were asked, these two anchors were asked to take the picture of Charlie with the people
Starting point is 00:33:52 coming up. See, imagine these very well-known media person. I'm sure that was humbling. Yes, so, right? And I think Fox, you know, probably, and by the way, Fox had already sort of fully embraced him at this point, but I think those little stories must have got back. And Charlie, you know, was extraordinarily popular with We the People and the grassroots and the, and, you know, so it's an amazing thing. But, yeah, I mean, the vibes were good at. Fox. How much did Charlie believe in Maha? Loved it. Charlie was like Mr. Maha. You know, I don't know what percentage of your audience is Christian, but I would just say, I look at so much now of Charlie's decision making
Starting point is 00:34:38 is like these weird little Holy Spirit nuggets and these little clues. Charlie obviously he didn't know he was going to die so young, but he had so much discipline that he got the most out of his body that was physically possible in the years that he had. It was almost like God put this little wiring in his brain because he knew that he had this huge larger purpose for him. And so he disciplined himself. He was obsessed with biohacking. Like how can I get more energy? How can I sleep deeper. And it's really amazing, actually. And I don't, I don't, I think this is okay. But, you know, there was these reports after it happened that they found a pulse. Yeah. And Erica told me that when she, so I was, we were, there was a select group of us when Erica gave her
Starting point is 00:35:28 first statement to the media that were there in the same room. And she came out and she hugged all of us and talked to each one of us. And she said that. She said, you know, his heart kept beating even when his like spine and brain were severed or whatever. And I said, it was feeding for you. He was holding on for you and your kids and you know it. Well, and that's a beautiful, yeah, thought. And I think there's that, which is very true. And then there's the medical angle. And I talked to the doctors, it was that his heart was strong. Like, it was so strong. And he, that even sort of, yeah, after this traumatic thing that had just happened to his body that his heart still beat. I mean, he was, people need to know that it was
Starting point is 00:36:18 instant. He didn't feel a thing. He didn't even, he didn't even know it. He blinked and he was in heaven. That's, I think, the truth. It was a devastating wound. Why did our team start taking down cameras immediately? Was it just in shock and just thinking like, this is what we do and just not thinking it's a crime scene? I think massive shock. I think there's been some stories about the SD cards or whatever. That was because even in the shock, there was an understanding that the proximity of those cameras were, A, going to be evidence and they wanted to make sure they didn't get stolen out of the cameras. But B, they didn't want anybody to run in. I mean, there was those videos of the kid running and grabbing the hats. So there was an understanding.
Starting point is 00:37:04 I mean, I talked to the team on that and they said, because we know people can be evil. Yeah. And they grabbed the SD cards so that nobody could get that. So that law enforcement could get it. Did I answer your Maha question sufficiently? Yeah, okay. He loved Maha. He loved Maha moms too.
Starting point is 00:37:20 He thought that Maha was the most underappreciated and the most critical of the coalition of Trump's 2024 coalition. And he wanted to grow it. And he had a real vision for that. And I think that's why he was always like, run, Alex, run. Like, do your thing. Because obviously he couldn't speak to the women like you could speak to the women. but he just loved, he loves Bobby Kennedy, loved Bobby Kennedy and really respected him.
Starting point is 00:37:44 By the way, there's a fun interview that RFK did with Charlie in, I think it was December of 2023. RFK was here in Phoenix. Okay. And they did that interview. And Charlie, like, challenged him. And RFK got a little mad at him for one of the questions. And I remember Charlie looked at me and he goes,
Starting point is 00:38:02 Bobby, you know, I respect you, but I got to ask these questions. And I remember, you know, going like, good for you, Charlie. yeah, asking the hard questions. But like, even in a moment of tension, Charles was like, you know I respect the heck out of you. Like, let me ask like the questions I have to ask. Yeah, that's a good interviewer. It was a good, it was a good interaction.
Starting point is 00:38:18 And then obviously we got to host the, when he endorsed him, and that was like your favorite event of all time here in Phoenix as well, massive, massive event. And one of my favorite in the history of Turning Point actually. Oh, 100%. Yeah. But like he was so excited because he saw the power of it
Starting point is 00:38:37 and love that we were taking on this thing that he had so much passion for personally. So he wouldn't want us to stop talking about this because I think right now... Not at all. I mean, I struggle with that. I'm like, man, everybody right now... More.
Starting point is 00:38:47 More. He's just like wanting to talk politics because, you know, this is important. And I do. I love talking politics. Charlie was bored with politics. Do you know the truth? Charlie was bored by it.
Starting point is 00:38:56 He knew he had to because politics is so important. You can not tell you how many times I tried to book Congress people on the show and he'd be like, I don't want to talk to them. He was excited by Maha. He was excited by ideas. and Maha and things that, like, he was actually interested in. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:11 And, you know, he was not a policy wonk. Charlie was not a policy wonk. He didn't care about the, you know, he just, he cared about big ideas and truth. And he believed that Maha is the truth. What happens now with Charlie's tours? They're going to continue. Obviously, we did Knowles yesterday. And that's amazing.
Starting point is 00:39:33 And we're going to keep going to. We have some, Noles was previously booked. He was always supposed to be at that event. I think the prove me wrongs are going to go away for now. There's just too many questions about security, but the evening events which you can secure the venue much, much more easily inside. And those are going to keep going. And we have special guests out the Yingang for that.
Starting point is 00:39:57 We have Megan Kelly, Governor Juncker, we have Governor Gianforte, Vivek Ramoswamy. me, we are working on another really big person that I can't confirm yet, but another really big person. And I think it's safe to say that you, and we got Glenn back, I'm trying to think, I don't want to leave anybody off, but we've got some big names. And we're not going to pull back. We're not pulling back. We're actually moving forward in earnest. And I think it's safe to say that you will see Erica Kirk, you know, at least one or two stops. Wow. Wow. Wow. That shows a lot of strength. It says a lot about her character and her mindset with all this, I think. What happens to the Charlie Kirk show? Well, we're going to keep doing guests in studio and bringing like the family together. I think that's been really cathartic for everybody. You know, week one was JD, the Daily Wire guys. We had Glenn Beck, Megan Kelly and Tucker Carlson. And, you know, we've got Benny Johnson. And we've got, by the way, we have a great team of just. that are here in our thought crime crew, you know, Blake and Tyler and Cliff Maloney,
Starting point is 00:41:09 who was on a lot during the run up to the 2024 election. I think he's going to be kind of hanging in there with us. And so it's a little TBD, but we're working it out. And maybe we do like a, you know, Tuesdays with Erica or something. And she can, she can be a part of that. But it's, the vision's coming together. It's taking shape. And obviously with, you know, Charlie being such, you know a world-class talent there's no way to fully ever even come close to replacing that and so yeah it's a daunting task but i have this weird piece in my heart because we you kind of mentioned like the DNA of charlie the fingerprints of charlie how we've all absorbed it and and in some ways the people closest to that show need to be the people closest to that show moving forward because we saw the way
Starting point is 00:41:59 he did things and we saw the way he wanted things done and we saw what he was passionate about. I remember I tried to get guest hosts before when we first started when he couldn't make a show. And, you know, they just didn't have the DNA. They didn't know how to keep the spirit of the show alive. And so whatever form it takes, I think it has to be, it has to have his DNA in it, It has to have his spirit and his magic in it. And I think that has to be driven by the people that did the show when he was doing it every day. I ask every guest this question at the end of my episodes.
Starting point is 00:42:38 If you could offer one remedy to heal a sick culture, physically, emotionally, or spiritually, what would that remedy be? You know the way I'll answer this? So yes, the answer is give your life to Jesus. Repent and be saved. And I know that sounds like kind of fire and brimstone age, but like it's literally that simple. but what does repent mean? It means it's not just saying sorry, it's like turning around.
Starting point is 00:43:00 So the thing that when I say, like you should repent, like repent, you know what it is. That whatever that thing is like, instantly there will be something that comes into your head and you'll be like,
Starting point is 00:43:09 I know the thing that I'm really like, I know I have to stop. That is the thing that you need to spend all your time and heart energy, like quiet time, figure out how you're going to stop. That is it an addiction? Is it a lot?
Starting point is 00:43:25 you're telling, is it something you're holding on to? Is it wealth that you refuse to let go? Is it a comfort? Is it an expectation for the future of your life? And I will just tell you because when this happened, I remember I got the news, my wife came in and I looked at her and I said, everything just changed. And I remember thinking, I didn't want it to change. Not only, was I tragically devastated that one of my best friends in the whole wide world
Starting point is 00:44:01 my brother like my business partner the leader of Turning Point and this icon of our culture had just been assassinated in cold blood. All those things are going through your head but I had also to confront the fact
Starting point is 00:44:14 that all of my little comforts had just evaporated. All of the things that I thought about the future of my life had just gone out the window. And I would say that I wrestled with that quietly alone. Like I didn't have a tough time to think about it,
Starting point is 00:44:31 but I would get up to my hotel room and just be hit by the weight of I don't know what's coming next. And then actually was Ali Stucky sent me this song by Matthew West. It was just weird. I was like Saturday after in my hotel room. My wife's like, you know, back with our kids. and I'm just like alone. And it's just, it was probably the first second I stopped for a second. And it just, I listened to this song and it just started weeping.
Starting point is 00:45:04 It was like bawling, like ugly cry. Like, you know, talking to you ladies, you know what I'm talking about. I decided this would be the right podcast to say this. Yeah, to reveal this. Yeah, I just had this like ugly cry. I mean, you know, but it was, I needed to get it out. I don't know. And I just like, I repented.
Starting point is 00:45:22 and I repented because I think up until that moment, I didn't feel like I could do what was going to be called of me in the days and weeks ahead. And in that moment, I repented because what was holding me back from feeling like I could rise to this moment and rise to this occasion was that I was not willing to let go of my flesh. And I wasn't willing to let go of my selfishness. And in that moment, I realized, like, Lord, it is all whatever you want.
Starting point is 00:45:58 Like, I throw my hands up and I throw them out to you. I'm open to you. And I understand that I, this is not what my flesh wanted, but I don't want my flesh. I want what you want for me. So just come Holy Spirit. Like, change me. Don't let me hold on to these things that I think I need because I know that I don't. And if you bring them back to me, so be it if you don't.
Starting point is 00:46:21 so be it like your will be done not mine you said that probably one of the best of any guests that's ever been on i just want you to know that i love you so much i love you too you're one of my favorite people that i've gotten to know working at turning point and um i'm sad and horrific and traumatic as this has been i was the most excited to talk to you just because you were the closest to him you knew him the best i was i'm just so sick of some of the misconceptions and things that people are saying online and I just was like, you're the person to just like, let's get the truth out there and, and his right motives and mindset before he passed away. So thank you for coming on Culture Apothecary.
Starting point is 00:47:00 Been an honor. Thank you, Alex. You still have questions? Leave them in the comments if they weren't answered. But I feel like we hit everything. Please leave a five-star review. Tell others why they've got to listen to Culture Apothecary. We've got one more special episode this week with somebody who knew Charlie very well,
Starting point is 00:47:20 actually since childhood. We're on a mission to Heelisic Culture. physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Twice a week, I have new guests who bring their own unique remedy to do just that on Mondays and Thursdays 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern, although this is a special week. Don't forget to subscribe to Real Alex Clark on YouTube or find me on Instagram at Real Alex Clark. TPSA merch.com. Use code Alex Clark for 10% off merch. I'm Alex Clark, and this is Culture Apothecary.

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