Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset - Blaire White On Growing Up Broken, Going Viral, and Finding Herself
Episode Date: June 1, 2026She grew up with no friends, no roadmap, and a father who died before she could tell him who she really was. By 32, she had 400 million views, a national tour, a Fox News debut, a Washington Po...st profile, and a spot in a Billboard Award-winning music video — playing a Wild West sheriff. Blaire White is one of the most-watched, most-debated, and least-understood people on the internet. In this episode of The Determined Society, Shawn French sits down with Blaire for the conversation her own platform rarely makes room for — not the pundit, not the controversy, but the person underneath all of it. What actually happened in the years before anyone knew her name. The father she lost before she could come out to him. The childhood spent alone, writing fantasy novels to escape a world that didn't have a place for her. The grief she carried quietly while building something loud. The spiritual awakening she didn't see coming. And what determination actually looks like when no community fully claims you and the whole internet has an opinion about your existence. This is not a political debate. This is a story about becoming yourself when the cost is real. IN THIS EPISODE: - Growing up in Chico — bullied, isolated, and writing her way out - Losing her father right before coming out as transgender - Dropping out of college to bet everything on honesty - The price of being rejected by the left AND the right simultaneously - Her first Fox News appearance and what mainstream visibility actually feels like - The spiritual awakening she had in 2024 — and what changed after it - How she handles public humiliation, mistakes, and being factually wrong - The quiet grief of discovering she couldn't have children - What "determined" means when no map exists for who you are ABOUT BLAIRE WHITE Blaire White is a YouTuber, political commentator, and host of The Blaire White Project podcast. With over 1.5 million subscribers and 400+ million views, she has been featured in Penthouse, profiled by The Washington Post, and was the first openly transgender woman in Penthouse's history. She is the definition of building something from nothing — on her own terms, without permission. CONNECT WITH BLAIRE WHITE Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/msblairewhite/?hl=en YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/theblairewhiteproject Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImBlaireWhite/ CONNECT WITH SHAWN https://link.me/shawnmf32 SUBSCRIBE TO THE DETERMINED SOCIETY Newsletter: https://thedeterminedsociety.com Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/determined-society-with-shawn-french-adversity-mindset/id1555922064 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5kS9tkLGQLcVyRgB3mDznw?si=184c18d1b9d44f53 The Determined Society is hosted by Shawn French — a show for people who refuse to quit. Every episode goes beyond the highlight reel to explore the real stories behind resilience, reinvention, and the relentless pursuit of a life built on your own terms. Subscribe on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all others.. If this episode moved you, share it with someone who needs to hear it — and leave a review. It helps more than you know. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
There was a period in 2017 where I had made a video criticizing Black Lives Matter.
It ended up with like people taking pictures holding guns, wanting to come get me.
And actually the FBI contacted me.
When you look back at things, right, is there anything that you've ever said that you regret saying?
Not because of facts, but emotionally.
I'm imperfect and I'm very like passionate about what I say.
So sometimes that comes through a vehicle of like heightened emotions.
One of the internet's most talked about creators.
Her content blends politics, personal experiences, and controversial cultural topics.
She's a YouTuber, political commentator, and host of the Blair White Project.
Honing it on just the trans part, it's a sanctuary state, quote unquote, for trans kids,
which means if even one parent wants the kid to transition, they do it still.
So that needs to be fixed because that's child abuse.
When you say kids are getting sucked into the trans podcast and it's leading down the wrong direction,
Like what direction do you mean?
Like what is it doing to them?
Yeah, I think that there's a lot of.
Imagine being a young kid growing up in Chico,
father passing away at 19 years old,
really trying to find your identity.
And once she found her identity,
it was like, where is your actual place?
You know, this individual to me is the heartbeat of determination
because everything that she has overcome
to grab a hold of who she really is,
despite all the judgment that the world and society has brought her.
I have with me today the queen of controversy, Blair White.
Thank you so much.
That was a really nice intro.
Well, thank you.
I screwed up the first one,
but the second one was much better.
It was perfect.
Yeah.
So it's good to meet you.
I'm so happy that we're finally connecting.
Yeah,
I'm excited to be here.
This is going to be good.
We chided a little bit about certain topics.
I'm excited to dive in.
Yeah, I just, you know, it's just,
I want to bring out the different side.
You know, I want to shock the world to,
to see that we're going to do something different here.
So it's going to be fun.
Let's go back to Chico.
I mean, Chico.
Northern California, it's very different.
A lot of people I feel like don't even know much about Northern California.
It's all about like L.A., San Fran, which is still fairly northern.
But, you know, they don't really know.
Well, Chico's, you know, and again, for the audience, we grew up within probably about three hours from each other.
So I know Chico.
I've been to Chico.
I know what goes on there.
It's a lot of fun.
It's a college party town.
Yeah, it is.
It's kind of like a oasis amongst a little or a lot of really small towns with not much going on.
So I feel like everyone like, let's loose there.
So it was fun place to be when I was, you know, in my early 20s.
Same.
Same.
You know, we used to go up there.
My buddy.
I told you earlier, like about a week ago on the phone, my buddy Mike, he went to, he moved up there.
And I think he was doing some school or something or just going up there just to live.
And we'd always go see him.
and he's like you guys got to come up you trust me it's a great time and so we you know have all
of our drinks and then we just walk around and we jump in you know baby pools in people's front
yards and people would scream you know very chico it's it's so it's so strange there but you know
we we always had a blast you know we we always felt like shit the next two or three days right
yeah it's easier when you're in your 20s can't do that yeah no I can't like if I have two drinks
now like I will feel like asked for three days I'm the exact same way
It just kills you.
And you're much younger than me.
I'm pushing 48.
Oh, really?
Okay.
I didn't think you were 48.
See, I love that.
See, that's why I say that.
So I can hear people say, like, you don't look 48.
No, it's one of those things for me.
It just, I don't live like that anymore.
I can't because I'm not sharp.
And then when you have, you know, three children and a wife, it's kind of hard to be hung over
and still be a functional father or a present father and a present husband.
I like marijuana these days a little more than alcohol.
You know, just relaxes you.
I got to tell you, I've never said this on the air, but I love it.
Really?
Yeah.
What haven't you said it?
I don't know.
It's just kind of like one of those things I just kind of keep to myself.
But what I don't like is the munchies.
Yeah, that's a problem.
Yeah, it's a problem.
It's a problem.
So, you know, but again, like it's, to me, it's much better than drinking.
One thousand percent.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
There's no hangover.
And I feel like you can have some like just like higher thoughts on it.
You can kind of figure some stuff out.
You can get really creative.
Yeah.
You know, and it's like you can, for me, sometimes I can downshift finally, you know,
just kind of be silly and just laugh at dumb shit, but, you know, not very often.
But, you know, here and there, I might dabble.
Yeah, same.
Damn you, why did you do that?
You know, you outed me.
I outed myself first.
You've never said that.
Oh, no, actually, I guess I have so.
Yeah, my subscribers know I'm a slight donor, just a little bit.
Ain't nothing wrong with it.
Ain't nothing wrong with it, you know.
so many states are legalizing it you know Florida's you know medicinal Cali's wide open
yeah and you compare it to like you know drunk drivers and the amount of stupid things that anyone
can and will do on alcohol there's really no comparison in my opinion yeah it's wild but you
had an interesting evening the other night yeah yeah I was um at the Hilton at the White House
Correspondence night and that's when the I don't want to say anything that gets demonetize
but that's when the bang bangs happened.
And it was pretty crazy.
Yeah.
And it's been really surreal to like be near something like that in real life,
which I've never been.
And then going online and like seeing everyone saying it was fake,
which like in fairness,
I don't know what was behind at all.
It could all be a conspiracy.
But at the same time,
it's like just weird.
It's kind of a really shitty thing to fake if it were fake.
But the thing that I've noticed about,
about all these things with the attempts on him is people are starting to say things like that.
Like it's fake.
It was staged.
Why would anybody stage that?
I don't know.
I guess I don't think that way.
I look at things.
I'm like, okay, that's reality.
And when it happened, my heart, to be fair, and I texted you and, and, you know, my heart sunk.
I'm like, oh shit.
Blair's at that dinner.
Yeah, it was pretty crazy.
But, you know, luckily no one, I believe, died.
So there's been worse tragedies, you know.
Yeah, I just, it's kind of scary to the point where, like, this is becoming normalcy and, you know, everywhere.
It's like there's always something going on.
And I don't know if it's because of the social media age.
There's more people reporting it quick, you know, quicker.
And there's no regulation, right?
I can post whatever I want.
Anybody can post anything at any time they want.
But before it used to be the news outlets.
So it was like, you know, they had a flow that they did.
and maybe they protected us from some things
or didn't want to report on some others.
But yeah, now it's like fair game.
Yeah, it's really, really weird times.
And as someone who's been talking politics and social issues
for nearly a decade now, actually I think it hasn't a decade,
it's the weirdest, most toxic time to do it, in my opinion.
Does any of it get scary for you?
Like outside of what happened at the dinner,
have you ever thought about how, do you get scared?
Not really.
No?
No.
I feel like I've survived so much and been through so much that it's like I kind of just know it's not my time yet.
Like I kind of just know God has some other stuff for me in the future.
So I'm just trying to coast and follow whatever plan God has.
I love that.
You've gotten pretty spiritual.
Yeah.
I think like what was it?
24 you did DMT and you had a little bit.
Talk to me about that experience.
Yeah, I had heard, I guess, of like, people having like spiritual revelations or heightened, you know, things like that.
But when I tried it, I discovered that was really real.
And I didn't have any concept of that beforehand.
So it was pretty, like, shocking.
But it was also that in fairness and also like a combination of like a lot of other things in my life that kind of like just opened up that part of me.
So it's an important part, I think, of life.
Yeah.
When you say opened up things that were going on your life,
was it the subconscious things that you were burying in the back from the past?
That kind of came to the forefront?
Yeah, yeah.
I definitely, I've probably mentioned it like once or twice
without going into much detail, but I did grow up in a cult.
And so as is the case with, like, anyone who grows up in an environment like that,
there's like a lot of spiritual trauma.
and so I think I kind of rejected any idea of like religion or spirituality or God
throughout like my childhood early adult life and it wasn't until hitting about 30,
2930 that I was like, well, you know what?
Let me not section myself off from this part of life that I can see does help a lot of people
and does mean a lot to people just because of my own personal situation.
So yeah, that's when I kind of decided, you know what?
my family's thing is their thing and I survived it. I'm away from them now. Let me see if there's
any sort of like spirituality. I feel like I'm compatible with as an individual and not having it
forced on me. So that's been that's been the thing. That's interesting because, you know, I think
it was on your dad's side, right? Yeah. Yeah. So as a child, you're dealing with identity things,
you know, gender dysmorphia. And then now your father's side of the family is this cold thing.
that's a lot for a child to deal with.
Yeah, it was a lot.
How did you reconcile that?
I think I sort of just was like on autopilot.
I was in survival mode.
It was, I know there's lots of different types of cults out there.
And so people are probably like, well, what kind?
Was it Mormon?
Was it, you know, whatever?
And there's not necessarily like a label for it.
It's something that was in my family's bloodline for going back hundreds of thousands of years.
Like it's been like a really strong thing like in that family.
And so it was a little more sectioned off even from like extreme religiosity.
Like it wasn't necessarily that.
And so it just gave me like a sour perspective on people who believed in God or spirituality or whatever.
I just always tuned it out.
But you know, I'm I've overcome a lot of it too though.
So.
What were some of the things that you remember as a child that were just kind of you saw it?
you're like, that's not right or this is scary.
Oh, man.
They were definitely into one of the big basis,
one of the things was like witchcraft stuff.
Oh, no shit.
Yeah, it was the occults sort of stuff.
So there was rituals I was around and a part of and, you know,
nothing like so obscene.
Like I never witnessed anything like you hear like extreme horror stories.
Mine's like a horror story, but luckily not like an extreme one.
It was just a lot of ugly, inappropriate stuff to be around kids.
And that side of my family, my dad's side, they kept my mom from it as well.
So this was all revelations that I had to like tell my mom as well once I came of age and understanding to be like, you know they were like doing all this stuff, right?
And it makes sense to her now.
So she didn't know.
It was so lock and key that even like my mom and her side of the family had no.
clue. But you knew because you were your father's child. Yeah. And so I and and and my father was
you know how you can be like raised a Catholic and so you'll go to like Easter mass. You'll go and
it's more of like a cultural like family thing. That's kind of how my dad was. He wasn't like a true
believer in it but he would still take me to the events and so the rituals and stuff like that. And
so that's how I ended up being around it. It was much more serious to my grandmother and her
generation and above. Wow. Yeah. You know, when when people talk about childhood trauma or or things like
that, things that you go through as a child, I look back at my childhood. And of course, I have some
things that I went through, but nothing like that, right? And it just goes to show that what you've
created in your life, you've overcome so many different things. You know, you've overcome the judgment.
You've overcome the childhood. It's admirable. You know, you're a strong woman. And
I admire that about you.
Thank you.
And I hate when you catch heat.
I hate it.
It's part of the gig.
It is.
You know, it's funny because I always, people say, you don't catch enough heat, Sean.
I'm like, because I'm too safe.
You don't catch enough.
I don't catch enough heat.
Because, you know, I've been very safe.
Right.
Right.
Because, you know, you can do it two ways, right?
You can come on the scene.
You can be confrontational right away or controversial, whatever you want to name it.
Or you can take the slow path.
And I kind of took the slow path.
Right.
of building and building and building.
And now I think it's time to kind of start having some stronger opinions
and having stronger conversations on the show
and kind of teetering the line a little bit.
So we can.
So we can grow.
But yeah, it's interesting to me.
The heat that certain people take,
I kind of look over to the side and the left and the right of me.
I'm like, thank God that ain't me.
Because I actually, I'll take it back.
I caught heat one time.
For what?
I was on Pierce Morgan.
Okay.
That'll do it.
Oh, geez.
Won't it?
You know.
So the conversation was surrounding the, the, the, the atmosphere, right?
And that's when adolescents came out on Netflix.
Remember that like last year where the young boy, they, but it was a, like a UK, it was set in the UK.
This young boy was taken by the police.
They, they came to the house, busted down the door, snagged him.
They said, your son is going to do.
jail, you know, he's a suspect, he's a suspect in a murder. Oh, I didn't see this. Okay.
It's actually really good. It's really good. But the whole thing of it going through the whole
show was more about the manosphere and misogyny and all that kind of thing. People get heated about
that. Huh? People get heated about that. Oh, they do. Right. And they even mentioned, you know,
Andrew and Tristan and, you know, hate in the show. And so what they were trying to show is like
that young boys that if they go to let the internet raise them, then the internet,
will raise them.
Right.
If you're watching a man or a woman telling you how to be, right?
Well, then if you don't have a strong family unit or whatever,
or if your parents don't have their finger on it,
then you can fall into that.
And so you look at this thing in the show and you're like,
there's no way this kid did it.
You're waiting for the shoe to drop.
Well, the wrong shoe dropped.
And at one point, he completely morphs.
And he's just in the face of the psychologist in jail.
And I'm like, this is the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Oh, wow.
And it was, it was an amazing limited series.
Well, they, they asked me to come on and be one of the panelists.
And it was absolutely wild.
So like most of the panelists were in the camp that a woman should stay home,
homeschool the kids, cook all the meals, don't leave the house,
serve the husband and the family.
I'm from the school of thought.
If my wife wants to work and she enjoys it
and she's fulfilled, do you, boo?
I don't have traditional roles in my house.
We see something that needs to be done.
We do it.
And someone does it, yeah.
Yeah, so like if I walk by the laundry room
when my wife's teaching at school and she's, you know,
a Spanish teacher.
And if I walk by in the morning,
I'm like, okay, I should probably do this load of laundry.
I'm going to do the little laundry.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
And to me, that's okay.
Well, I mentioned that...
That's how 90% of people are, too.
Yes, but the 10% is the loudest.
Yes.
Right?
And boy, did I get torched on X.
I got torched on YouTube.
I was called a closet feminist.
And I said in there, and the dude, Andrew was on there.
I can't remember his last name.
But he's...
I think I know what we're talking about.
Andrew Wilson?
Maybe.
Like, he's the one that's just ripping heaters every time he's on the camera.
I think so.
Yeah, he's on whatever a lot, whatever that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's him, yeah.
And, you know, look, and it could be a character.
I don't know.
I don't know the guy personally.
But I was, I said, I love the fact that my wife is out working, doing what she wants to do.
I'm all for it.
And then, you know, the internet goes, Sean also thinks I love watching my wife get dick down by another dude because that's what she wants.
Yeah, because those two are the same.
same, right? Right, right. That's totally a natural leap. Yeah, yeah, that's a nice arc right
there from, you know, allowing my wife out of the house so she can work to this. I mean, it's just
kind of crazy to me, but I took massive heat on YouTube and X, and it was so uncomfortable for me.
Wow. I called my publicist. I said, hey, what do I do? She was what do you mean? I was like,
do you, are you seeing this? Like, I'm getting torched. Like, this is uncomfortable for me.
She said, welcome to fame.
I was like, I'm not famous yet.
I said, but this is just weird.
Like, what do I do?
Do I respond?
She goes, let it, just let it eat.
It'll go away.
And, of course, it went away.
Yeah.
It surely did.
But that was the one time I caught extreme amount of heat was YouTube and X.
Right.
And Paris Morgan is such a heated, like, environment.
But, you know, if your public figures are really like mirrors to people.
And when they see us speaking or sharing.
our opinions on things, you know, they're reacting with their own insecurities in hand,
with their own life perspectives, with their own relationships they're in,
or the fact that they're not in a relationship at all, and maybe they desperately want to be.
And so they're sort of like forcing how they think it should be onto what you're saying,
and then it's all about how they feel about themselves.
And that sounds like kind of like a cheesy or like a cliche way of saying it,
but it really has everything to do with them.
Well, you know, I think every time,
responds or reacts to something, right?
Like if I say something to you, right, that it's completely mean and towards you, it's not
about you, it's about me.
Right, right.
Those are my issues.
Right.
And so what I think we have going on is like with the internet is there's so many people that just
attack and attack and attack.
It's like you can't even give an objective opinion and even more without somebody coming
after you.
It's what the fuck's going on here?
Right.
You know?
Yeah.
My buddy did a, he does podcast ranking sometimes.
He's a therapist.
He's an awesome dude.
Love the guy tremendously.
And he was ranking podcast recently.
So podcast for men, you know.
And of course, you know, he did Rogan, Alex Cooper, you know, call her daddy, you know, that, that show.
And he did Theo Vaughn, I believe.
That show's toxic on the other end.
We can go there.
Yeah.
I want to go there.
But first.
So then, you know.
and then he did Jordan Peterson and, you know, a couple other ones.
And he rated me a 10.
He's been on my show.
He understands how I work.
The level of conversation and the cathartic part of the interviews here is high level and high value.
Yeah, because you also have like, God forbid, like some emotional intelligence, like you have empathy.
And those are things that for whatever reason, a lot of.
lot of people feel like they're going to be hurting their brand if they have that if they allow any gray
area it has to be all the way this or all the way that you know yeah exactly and i just feel like
when when those things when that happened the thread still goes off like people are saying you're an
idiot you're an absolute idiot jordan peterson's a 10 well they're confusing his his conversations with
his podcast and now and now it's flipped on him and a lot of people don't like him right i mean and again
like I have nothing against anybody.
I don't have anything against Alex Cooper either.
Nothing.
Yeah.
I just feel we can go there.
You said it was toxic on the other end.
What are your thoughts there?
Well, yeah.
I mean, you have all these like male-centric podcasts that are like,
your wife shouldn't be able to work and you should be able to, you know, have sex with
as many women as possible.
And then you have on like a call her daddy.
I've seen all these clips of her saying that you should just be a whore if you're a woman
and you should just be as, you know, sexual as like men around you.
And that's like the worst kind of advice to give to women.
Like, you know, men and women aren't the same.
But also there's levels to like, you don't, no one's all the way in one direction either.
Yeah.
It's interesting because I know exactly what you're talking about.
Most recently, Nikki Glazier was on there.
And she was talking about her husband.
If it was just physical, she's good with it.
What do you mean?
Like, like, if, if.
If the husband went out and slept around, she's good with it.
I'm okay because it's not emotional.
See, that sounds like a cope.
Like a what?
Like cope kind of.
Yeah, you think so?
Yeah, I don't think that's an accurate statement.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe it is for her because maybe that, maybe they swing that way in an individual level.
Maybe.
Maybe.
You know, I like Nikki Glazier.
I think she's funny as shit.
But also that interview came out like a week or something.
It was very close.
I saw the clip very close to when that new special came out.
So you know, you got to understand the PR cycle, right?
Yeah, yeah.
But I think the one thing that concerns me is I heard one interview.
And I believe it was with Katie Perry.
And Katie Perry said, you know, every time my man does the dishes, I go down on them.
To give, that's like the add-a-boy.
Okay.
And so I'm thinking, like, what if my daughter is 16 right now?
Right.
And she comes across that clip, goes to the episode, and listens to it.
Like, to me, that's a problem.
Yeah, then it's different.
Yeah, when you have kids and you know.
And the thing is, kids are consuming podcasts now.
So it's, it's bad.
And then in my world, you know, like, there's a lot of kids that are getting sucked into, like,
trans podcasts and shows and all of that steering them in the wrong direction too.
So it's, there is like a responsibility with being a public figure that I try to walk the line of that.
while also being an imperfect person.
When you say kids are getting sucked into the trans podcast
and it's lead them down the wrong direction,
like what direction do you mean?
Like, what is it doing to them?
Yeah, I think that there's a lot of trans is like a political thing now
when it not, it didn't used to be.
And so there's a lot of ideology pushed on kids now
that, you know, puts them in the wrong lane.
And I don't think kids should transition.
That's my stance.
I've always felt that way.
And so I feel very strongly about it, actually.
So it's weird to be a kid, I think, on the internet now.
It's like you're either getting indoctrinated by like people who don't know if they're
men or women or by men who are the toxic kind of man or by women who are the toxic kind
of women.
Gender and of itself is like an issue lately.
Yeah.
I mean, it's been that way for a few years, right?
It's gotten very political.
It's gotten very in our face.
And to me, I'm looking at this.
I'm like, why is what one individual will choose?
it to do with themselves.
Adults.
Why is it,
why is it political?
Why is it all over my feed?
Like,
go do what you want to do.
You know,
I mean,
it's not like you were seven,
and then your parents allowed you to do it.
Right.
That's insane.
Like,
it is insane,
but there's a lot of people
that are doing it right now.
And it's hard for me to stomach
because as a seven or eight year old,
your brain's not fully formed.
Shit,
I don't even know if mine's still,
I don't even know if mine's fully formed yet.
Like, I mean, 25's the age, right?
Supposedly.
I mean, that sounds funny, but I feel like mine didn't until like 30.
And then maybe when I'm 40, I feel like it didn't until 40, you know.
Yeah, I feel different at 47 that I even did at 43 or 40.
Really?
Yet much more mature.
Yeah.
Would you ever do your 20s again?
I would not.
No, I just, I refuse.
I refuse.
I was a mess.
I was a mess.
I had just finished baseball at LSU.
My career never took off there because of injuries.
and bad attitude, you know, going through the rehabilitation process of my arm and coming back.
And I remember sitting at the College World Series when we had gotten beat.
We were there two games.
We lost two games.
We were going home.
And, I mean, we were number one or two in the nation.
And so it wasn't supposed to happen like that.
And I remember standing in right field.
And I was looking around.
I go, I don't know who I am.
It's over.
Like I'm getting I'm starting to get goosebumps thinking about it and starting to choke me up a little bit because as a 23 year old I was
I didn't know what the fuck to do I didn't know who I was without this white ball and red stitching because I never created an identity right
it was more of people knew me because it was oh oh oh Sean French oh Sean French the catcher yeah dude's legit
Sean French the the the the the baseball player it was
never just yeah Sean the cool ass dude that that is so kind to everybody so like the only way people
knew me is if I performed well it was a performative thing for me so I mean I loved it don't get me
wrong but standing there had no clue who I was like zero it was terrifying so my 20s the rest of my
20s I spent drinking way too much not caring if someone had a boyfriend or
whatever, putting my friends in bad situations.
I was very toxic to be around.
And I didn't mean to be, but there was a void inside me.
I was so hurt.
Yeah, you were lost.
Gone.
Like gone.
I look back at that guy and I go, ooh, man, I wish I could talk to you right now.
You know, and I have one friend left from that era.
One.
Oh, one survived.
One just got resuscitated.
Like, we just, like, literally, like, we literally just,
Came back in contact after what 15 years.
He deemed me.
He was in my request box.
I'm like, my heart was like, no way.
Wow.
It's my guy.
Mike from Chico.
They have my Chico buddy.
Well, he grew up in the same town as me, but, you know, he went to Chico, but that's
the guy.
And, you know, we ended up, you know, hopping on a phone call with each other.
It within two minutes, he was crying.
I was crying.
and it was like nothing ever happened.
And that's a true friend though, you know.
It's just true friendship is a timeless thing.
I have a few people like that where it doesn't matter how long we don't talk.
There's just so much connection that it goes right back to the way it was.
Yeah.
But do my 20s again?
No.
I wouldn't either and I just exited them.
Yeah, because you're like, what, 33?
32.
Yeah.
That's my favorite number.
Is it really?
Yeah.
So that was my baseball number.
for so many years.
Nice.
Oh, nice.
I think this is my favorite age.
Hey, that was my favorite age too,
because it's my favorite number, right?
It's a great age.
It's a cool number.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When's your birthday?
September 14th.
Oh, really?
Virgo.
Your Virgo.
My wife's a Virgo.
She's September 1.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, Virgo's are the best.
I actually don't even know much about astrology,
but I love it.
I prefer Virgoes over other people.
Very, like, very cerebral,
very, like, particular, like,
about the way they like things.
You're saying that like it's a good thing.
It is for the person.
It is for the freaking Virgo.
Yeah.
But no, it's funny because my mom's a Virgo.
My daughter Alina is a Virgo.
Oh, all the women are like.
My wife is a Virgo.
My youngest is a, I think a Capricorn.
She's a January, beginning of January baby.
So yeah, it's Capricorn.
And my son and I,
are Scorpios.
But the thing about Virgo's and Scorpio is they get along really well.
Yes.
They get along very well.
But they can definitely bump those heads.
They fight really well too.
Oh yeah.
My mom's a Scorpio and we fight really well.
What's her birthday?
Halloween.
It's Bobby.
It's my son's birthday.
Really?
Yes.
Wow.
All these synchronicities.
I know.
And I'm the 28.
So I'm three days before my son.
Okay.
I remember before he got here, it was like, oh my God.
hopefully he doesn't come on your birthday.
Then you have to share a birthday.
I'm like, hopefully he does come on my birthday so I can share a birthday with my little dude.
How cool with that event?
That would have been cool.
That would have been cool, too, though.
I love Halloween.
Yeah.
We were sitting there the other night.
And my wife started talking about Halloween this year.
Hey, girls, what do you want to be for Halloween?
I'm thinking, that's like six months away, babe.
Like, what are we doing here?
But she's a planner because she's a burgo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so, you know, the girls are starting to shout certain things out.
And, you know, my son goes, I want to be something really.
scary again. Like his last year I think he was Michael Myers or something like that or
Jace I don't know what he was. I can't remember but um you know he wants to do something
scary and I just I've been sitting there and the girls go to bed and they my wife
starts talking about Halloween again and I just looked at him and I go dude you have no
idea how lucky you are he's like what do you mean I'm like college is going to be
fucking awesome he's like oh yeah he's gonna have a great weekend birthday Halloween that's
that's it's like what do you mean I'm like well
there's going to be a bunch of nurses running around.
There's going to be a bunch of devils running around.
But and my wife just threw a pillow at me or something.
She's like, stop it.
But I mean, you know, it's, I don't, we're in the weeds.
But, you know, I think that, you know, when we're talking about the 20s and the toxicity that I just, that was just oozing out of me, you know, it hurts when I look back at it, you know, because I impacted so many people's relationships.
and I broke trust and you know only one friendship has has come back you know and so it's it's just
one of those things where now I carry myself differently so yeah you know even to a point where
you know my buddy said hey so and so I'm out with him right now and it was my best friend
he said nothing but love I said hey tell him I love
and then I sent him a text message like three days later no response I said it's okay right because
he doesn't know me now right he's still it's still the old you and it said yeah I was like dude I mean
like that was like 2006 2007 right it's like almost 20 years ago yeah yeah it's like it's hard
for me too because like not only do people not know who I am now but also like I wasn't a public
figure back then. So that's a weird change for people that used to be in my life. And then also,
like, I didn't look like this, surgery, trans, all that. So it's sometimes hard to connect
with most people from like my childhood and stuff. Do you find it's hard for people from your
childhoods to relate to you? Not because of trans, but because of the fact that you're a public figure.
Yes. Yeah. They really don't get it. And I think that a lot of people project an ego that isn't there
or a hoity tooidiness that I truly don't have
because public figure or fame to them reads as like,
oh, they're better than me or something,
which I don't feel that way at all.
I don't feel like I'm above anybody.
I don't get that vibe from you at all.
Yeah, no.
Life is just life.
I think all people are equal.
But, you know, that's...
I'm also from the tiniest town
where there's no such thing as like
getting attention outside of that tiny town.
I think it's a hard thing for them to get.
Yeah, it is.
But, you know, it's funny because I would say about two years ago,
I mean, maybe three years ago, the show was a lot smaller.
My best friend said, like, hey, dude, it's hard for people to relate to you now.
Yeah.
It's like, dude, I'm just talking on a microphone, and it's not even that big of a deal yet.
Right.
Yet.
You know, so now it's like.
Oh, I lost most of my friends when I started.
And in fact, I was just telling this story earlier today.
All of my friends at the time, I had like a bunch of friends at the time.
I had like a bunch of roommates that were also my friends.
And I was like two videos into starting YouTube.
And I found out they were all doing like hate watch parties at our mutual friends house, like putting it on the TV like that.
Your roommates?
Yeah.
And they were like hate watching me.
Were they actual friends or they just roommates?
Well, now I know they weren't.
Yeah, no shit.
But back then you thought.
Yeah, they had the title friend.
They were roommates that were friends first and we looked together.
So, you know, it was clearly just jealousy.
And again, a projection of their own insecurity.
So, but I've rebuilt.
Now I have, you know, friends all over the world.
I get to connect with people all over the planet.
Well, you got me.
Right.
You got me.
I consider you a friend.
So I hear you.
Yeah, thank you.
And I have met so many different people in this industry.
Yeah.
That become closer, I become closer with them than I am with people that live in my town that I know.
You know, and it's an interesting thing.
And I think unless you're in it, you can't understand.
understand it. Yeah, it just becomes a different, um, a different way of life. You know, it's,
and it's weird because you also, um, like you were saying with getting heat and stuff like that,
all of that lives forever on the internet. And so you wonder how much people from your past
maybe like read that to and then internalize that. So it's easier to be friends with people who are
also public figures because they understand. Yeah. That it doesn't matter what's written
about you on the internet. That's a great point. You jogs.
something in my mind of the other reason I feel it's easier to be friends with other public
figures is because they understand what you're going through and how hard it is and how much
you know people may judge you but nobody's judging you as much as you're judging yourself
100% you know it's an exhausting thing you know because you know as an because I consider what I do
I'm an artist this is my art yeah you know my conversation is an art form 100% and it
It's specifically mine.
Nobody else does it like me.
Just like nobody else does it like you.
You know, it's limited edition stuff.
But, you know, when there's other people, like the people that you know from your past,
are like, hey, you just slow down.
It's not that big of a deal.
But what they don't understand is this is everything.
You know, this is something that we put our heart and soul in.
And when you put your art out and you feel it's not being received, it's personal.
Yeah.
And I don't have a plan.
be I'm doing this forever.
I burned the bridge a long time ago.
Yeah.
I mean, I have other aspirations as well that I want to add on to what I'm doing,
but I pretty much have made peace with the fact that I'm always going to be,
you know, a public figure.
It's like a lifelong thing.
It's not a flavor of the decade or weed or whatever.
It's not like, hey, I want to do this because COVID hit and everybody was popping
into it, right?
Right, right.
I'm not, I didn't join an MLM for a while.
Thank God.
Someone did try to get me to join it.
MLM a long time ago.
You know, that's how I started my show.
I went into a MLM.
Really?
I did.
Yeah, I was always trying to make extra money.
Yeah, and I never did well with them because I didn't believe in it.
I believe in the model.
Like, cool, people can go do that.
I didn't possess the traits to do it, right?
I didn't like it.
But in this last one, it was Meliluca, actually.
It was a...
What is that one?
It's like a direct-to-consumer.
It's not really an MLM.
You share the...
the link and if they buy from the store, you get commissions.
It was supposed to be all non-taxist stuff.
But in order to do that and do well, they're like, you have to be a public,
you have to have a personal brand.
I'm like, what the fuck is that?
I didn't know.
I was a medical salesperson.
I had no idea.
I was in the OR watching, you know, robotic surgeries.
And so the whole point is like I stumbled into this.
Like I didn't mean to find this, but I did.
And once I found that this was my.
purpose, my calling. I did whatever I could to put myself and my family the position so when I can
go, bye-bye corporate and focus full-time on this, I did it. I think it was, it was January,
it was January of 2024 where I was finally done with corporate. And it was the best decision.
Corporate America made me, right? I feel like I did a lot there that helped me talking to different
types of people and you know one day could be a dentist one day it could be you know
construction workers I had multiple sales careers but you know for me is like to your point like
there's no turning back yeah there's only building on from this yeah and it's so freeing to be
your own boss even though it's also in my opinion 10 times more stressful although I only had one
real job before this what did you do before this I was working in a clothing store a clothing store
it was my first yeah I was there for I think like six months
and I hated it.
Like I would straight up, like, refuse to even do anything.
Like, customers would come in and be like,
can you help me get this clothing off the rack?
And I'd be like, no, I don't really want to.
You're like, no, that's not what I do.
Yeah, but for whatever reason my boss, like, loved me,
so I never got in trouble.
But then, you know, the second I could do YouTube
and was making money from it, I was like, I'm gone.
Amazing, amazing.
Yeah.
You mentioned you want to do other things to add on to what you're doing now.
What are some of those things that you want to do?
Well, I want to run for office eventually.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, so that's more of a long-term thing.
Yeah, I want to run for Congress in California.
Hell yeah.
Not immediately, but, you know, when the time is right.
So I want to not just, like, talk about politics.
I want to, like, make real change on paper.
What kind of changes would you make in California?
Oh, my gosh.
Well, honing in on just, right, honing in on just the trans part,
It's a sanctuary state quote unquote for trans kids, which means if even one parent wants the kid to transition, they do it still.
So that needs to be fixed because that's child abuse.
And then I'm really passionate about the homeless issue in California.
Like it's disgusting that we have all this money, especially in California, one of the biggest economies in the world, not just America.
And there's a million people dying on the street.
And it's really sad.
They get discarded.
And those are human beings with hearts and minds and souls as well.
So that and, you know, whatever is the issues of the time when I actually run, you know.
What's the timeline for do you think?
I feel like I don't want to say because I don't want to make any false promises, but it's definitely on the agenda.
That's awesome.
You know, I think it's amazing to put that out there, you know, just to say this is what I want to do where you're going to do it.
You know, it's just one of those things where there are certain people where you know when they say,
this is what I want to do and you can be like all right you might you might could do it I
already know it's like just kind of my destiny yeah when you tell me I'm like okay yeah
done deal like yeah that's that's a no-brainer you know and I think it's important in
California because there's it's the most beautiful state in the union like I miss
California I don't necessarily care for how it's run but I miss my home and when I go
back there and I plant my foot off that plane and I you know go out there to get the
rental car I can just feel like
I can feel it.
Even if I'm not in the bay.
We went to LA last year, last summer, and we did Jay Leno, you know, at Jay Leno's garage, that was freaking cool.
But the moment I got off the plane and I just, like, man, it's a different energy.
It just, I'm home.
I'm here.
I can't do the humidity out here.
Isn't it bad?
It's beautiful out here too, but it's just the air.
I just can't do it.
The humidity is absolutely ridiculous, especially if you're not used to it.
Like earlier today, it was like nice.
And then I went and got Saviche, the little, you know,
Saviche right there at Suvice, the restaurant.
And everything was fine.
I walked out afterwards and I walked down the street to give the coffee and I'm like
sweating.
Yeah, that's brutal.
Like what happened in 45 minutes to where I can't even,
it feels like a freaking sauna.
You know what's so crazy is I almost got hit in the head by an iguana out here.
Okay, let's talk about that.
I was walking under a palm tree or something out here and this iguana like frozen the tree
animals hit me in the head. When was this? This was a couple years ago, like in winter here.
Geez. I see iguanas like freeze. Yeah. And they die. And I had no idea. It was like the jungle
out here like that. Oh my God. Yeah. You can't walk under trees. Yeah. Oh my God. Did it hit you?
Almost. It grazed me. That's a freaky thing. Yeah. Interesting. Florida be Florida.
You know, that's why I have that show Florida, man. The craziest things happen here.
It really, yeah. It's unexpected all the time. You have alligators that are in pools and, you know,
all that kind of crazy stuff. Yeah.
But Flora is beautiful in its own right.
I don't hate that I live here.
I do hate it from June to May.
I don't like hurricanes.
Yeah, no.
Yeah.
You know what it is?
It's the anxiety of watching it on the TV for five days.
You don't know where it's going.
Do you have anxiety in general, you think, too?
Oh, me?
Of course.
Yeah, of course I do.
I have massive anxiety.
It gets, yeah, it's gotten better.
The more I watch.
watch my food, the more I work out, it does get better.
So I don't worry about things that I used to worry about,
but sometimes I do have dark thoughts about bad things happening to my family.
Yeah, yeah.
Anxiety is rough.
I have pretty bad anxiety too.
These days it's a little better because, again,
I've kind of learned like food really matters.
And people don't really make that connection,
but the gut-brain connection is like really real.
Took the words right out of my mouth.
And moving, you know what I mean?
and I used to like just wake up and drink like straight coffee in the morning with no food
and then I'd have like a panic attack and then I learned like you're not supposed to do it like that
so oh you're not no you're supposed to have food I have a protein shake yeah that that's that that counts
that counts and then I had like a panic attack for the first time like a real one a couple years ago
after never having one and I always thought it was something I guess I believed people that it was like
scary and serious but until you like really have one you don't know how like real it is you think
you're having a heart attack you it convinces you're dying yeah it really does so I've never had a
phone panic attack but I have had moments where I just I feel like there's an elephant on my chest
and and I get really quiet my wife goes where you go I'm I'm going through it right now like I just I just need
a minute like I don't I don't know what's going on with me I'm super anxious right now just out of nowhere
yeah you know what makes you what are the things that make you anxious the most hmm I think like
living up to what I know that I can so like I've which is silly and you know
anxiety is irrational and so that's how you know it's like not real but like because
I've accomplished more in my life than I ever ever would have thought so it's
interesting that you still will beat up on yourself even when you know do a lot
but I guess just not living up to my own expectations of myself and even
sometimes just on the timeline that I want to live up to it so I'm like my
one more sending me a lot of the times yeah I
I remember timelines used to really F with me, like badly.
Like if I say, okay, I want to leave corporate America in six months and I didn't hit it,
it was like, I suck.
Right.
Like I'm, I'm shit.
I'm useless.
This is never going to happen.
Those things don't bother me anymore because I've kind of let go of the wheel of that.
And just the only thing I can control is having great conversations and giving people value.
Right.
Right.
It's the only thing I can do is be the best host I can be.
but the things that really mess with me, man,
it's just like something happening to my kids.
Like I just, I can't.
I was getting ready, right?
This morning.
I couldn't sleep.
Like I told you,
and Joey off camera,
like I woke up at two,
and I just couldn't go back to sleep.
And so I started just doing some work stuff.
And, you know,
then I showered.
I was getting ready to go get a workout in.
And, like,
I just started having these bad, like,
I don't want to say visions because it wasn't visions, but it was just like these bad thoughts that
seems so freaking real about something happening to my kids.
And it's just, it's like, it's so, it's so debilitating.
Those are the only things that make me anxious.
And then at lunchtime, my wife called me and I didn't pick up because I didn't hear my phone.
And I called her back two times and sent her like five texts before.
And I don't have a response yet.
So I'm like, oh shit.
So before we sat down, I had to check myself.
Like, is this real or is this just fear?
And fear is an illusion right now?
So just leave it there.
But those are the only things that freak me out.
That's what you have to.
I always try to by myself too in the moment of like, it's my brain making this seem real.
And it's doing a really good job at it.
But that doesn't mean it's real.
I wonder why that is though.
I wonder why like for, for we both have.
different types of anxieties, right?
And I just wonder why mine is the way it is.
Well, I think that it's what you care about the most
is your kids.
So I think part of it, and you can feel good about it,
it's just you being a really good dad.
Because there's a lot of dads out here who don't
really care what happens to their kids.
So that's the first thing.
But I think it's a biological thing too.
We need a certain amount of anxiety to make sure we don't
swerve near the lane when we're driving,
to make sure we avoid threats, you know.
But it's about like reminding yourself when it goes over the line to being irrational.
Yeah.
Yeah, like today, like it was like this is irrational.
This is ridiculous.
For a long time, you know, earlier in the year, you know, there's some things happening
at schools in public places.
And so I was, every time my wife and my three kids would go to school, I would go in
the house and I would cry because that was so scary.
Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's just, you know, there's real stuff happening in the world, right?
You never know.
granted my kids are at a prep school and it's very small and you know but hey you never know and so
those things would go through my mind it would just break me it's like so if I could fix anything
you know I would want for me to fix that because that is a horrible feeling for me yeah just I would
say just don't go on medication for it that stuff really like don't go on medication yeah I've never
seeing people taking anxiety met.
Like I'm very, despite the fact that I'm trans and obviously that includes like some drugs,
I'm very anti-Big Pharma.
And like I don't agree with like psych meds.
I've never seen them do more good than harm.
Perhaps in extreme cases, I don't want to make an absolute statement.
Sure.
But I've seen it harm a lot of people.
Yeah.
You know, I would say around 2015, I started getting a lot of anxiety with my son when I was driving
over bridges. I never had a fear of bridges until my son was born. I was taking him to daycare.
That's how you know it's linked to like being a father. Yeah. Yeah. And now I'm terrified of bridges.
Oh wow. Yeah. I like there's a lot of times that if we're going somewhere and we have to go to St. Pete,
we've got to go over the Skyway bridge in Tampa. I go, Jackie, I need you to talk to me every second.
Every second, don't stop talking to me. And I'm like, because I, oh wow, you have it really bad.
I have it really bad because it's not trying to sound no no no no no no no no I don't
take it that way because I've been there I'm not always there but I have that level often too
yeah but with bridges I get there right and and it's funny because not funny in a sense of like
it's humorous but in 2014 when those things started happening it started really impacted me so I
did go on to talapram oh I did and when I went on to talapram I was like 185 pounds
fast forward four months maybe six months i was way over two 30 oh wow it made me so fat and i don't
and again once i got off of it because i didn't change any habits right and it just after i got
off of it i went back to my normal baseline and did it even help the anxiety oh yeah oh it did yeah
but i mean i still thought about it but it wasn't the the physical feeling of the anxiety
It's like, man, okay, everything's fine.
You're good.
Just drive, right?
If you're timid, that's when bad things are going to happen.
So just go.
But yeah, I mean, I also believe in, I'm not really big on, you know, the big pharma thing.
And I think there's a lot of drugs out there that are good in certain situations.
I can't judge every certain person of why they would take something.
So I don't want to misconstrue that.
But for me, it's not, you know, if a kid is doing bad in school,
and can't keep focus.
I'm not for...
They put kids on Adderall.
You know what I'm for?
Getting that kid
an executive functioning coach
that we've done for our children.
Oh, you have, okay.
We're all ADHD.
Okay, yeah, I'm ADHD as well.
And I actually take a little bit of Adderall
sometimes you just to help with it.
So yeah, I probably...
Yeah, so it's like when I took it,
I took Adderall
was when I first started the show
and it was
I needed it really badly
and I wouldn't eat
because I wasn't hungry
and then I would just snap
I was the big
Jackie said you're
you're not really nice
right now I don't know what's going on
but I think it's the meds you need to get off of it
yeah Adderall can really heighten your emotions
and it also gives you terrible anxiety
so the trade-off
is like, okay, I can focus more, but now I'm focusing on these things I'm super anxious about.
Yeah.
So I got off of that and I feel great.
But I believe in certain pharmaceuticals.
Like I'm big into hormones.
You know, TRT.
I'm big into peptides.
Like, you know, my refrigerator looks like a friggin' lab.
What peptides are you on?
Oh my God.
How much time do we have?
Is it a lot of them?
It's a lot of them.
So I'm on Tessamarland.
And that does.
So it's like more of a, it releases like it's a human growth hormone, but it's also incinerates the visceral fat.
So your fat around your organs.
I'm on the testosterone.
I'm on terseptide, this is a glp1.
Okay, yeah, I do that sometimes too.
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
It really helps.
What else?
I don't think methylene blue is a peptide.
Sloop.
is a peptide. So yeah, I'm on some peptides.
Mm-hmm.
You know, but, you know, I'm good with that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
But I'm, you know, I don't think there's going to be any massive, you know, downfall later on or
side effects or things that happen to me.
You know, I think, you know, RFG talks about it a lot about how the peptides have gotten
a really bad rap and they've been blacklisted.
And they're starting to come off that list because there are some really good uses for it, you know.
Yeah, it's dangerous when it gets to drugs and even, even Adderall is like really dangerous.
Yeah, yeah.
I just, yeah, but, but, you know, the whole point of it is, is you can't just run and put kids on meds.
No, especially the Adderall for the kids, it just fries them.
And then by the time they're adults, it's like their baseline is just way off kind of like forever.
I think the important thing is too, like when I mentioned, you know, you get him an executive coach.
Like when my son was in public school, he had low Bs and Cs.
Couldn't stay focused.
A lot of ticks, too, because I think the anxiety was just crushing him.
Then he goes to the prep school, which is much harder and much more demanding.
We get him an executive functioning coach.
He hasn't had anything lower than an 85 in two years.
Nice.
He's got six A's and two Bs.
Maybe I need to go to one of those.
The ADHD is real.
Well, no, you know, they help you.
prioritize what needs to be done for the week.
So they look at every Monday morning at 7.30,
he has his executive functioning coach.
That's awesome.
I pick him up at 8.30 and I take him to school.
And they go through his whole schedule, what's due,
and his coach helps him break down by day
what he needs to do at home, right?
And what they do inside there in the hour.
And it's changed him tremendously.
It's been the most amazing thing to a point we're like,
Thank God we didn't go the other route.
Right.
And back in the day, they didn't even, there was no understanding of ADHD, not even that long ago.
So like the idea of, you know, parents actually seeking out alternative methods for their kids,
they weren't even, they were just being told, put them on Adderall.
Based on the kind of ADHD you have, that can be like the worst thing for you too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, too, if you don't take a saliva test and submit your DNA to like a lab to see what medications actually will work,
and what your body will reject?
Like, how do you know you're medicating the right way?
Right, right.
Because that's a thing now.
Oh, absolutely.
You know, you can take one pharmaceutical and it can make something else worse.
Or, you know, it could turn somebody into a, like, you look at him like, it can make you fat.
Yeah.
Which is, that's a big problem, too.
Yeah, it was a big problem for me.
No pun intended.
No pun intended.
Like, it sucked, man.
And so I spent the last however many years getting back to this, you know, because it's been a
It's like been a here, here, here, here.
And now for the last, since December of 2024, it's been like this.
It's consistent now.
But I had to fight back, you know, and that's never comfortable because that, that,
that hurts.
That doesn't make me very effective, right?
And in our business, when we're, you know, in front of the camera all the time.
And, you know, we're public figures and we, we have, we're thought leaders as well, obviously.
And when we're speaking to people, people need to believe.
us right you know fat shan didn't scream determination right just like like where's your discipline
dude where's your determination like your show might talk about it and you might be that way in
your business but are you that way as a human I can't even film a video or do anything on
camera if I'm even having like a bad week kind of which I probably should be better at like
managing that but I just never want to come on camera I just feel like you can tell when
someone's going through it a little bit.
And like I don't ever want to communicate.
Maybe it's like afraid of showing vulnerability or something.
But I don't, I just want to be all there mentally before I try to preach to other people about how to feel about things.
I can relate to this because I don't share enough moments of me.
Like you look at my grid.
It's the podcast stuff as you know and it's some stuff with my family sometimes.
I don't always put my kids faces on there because people.
take your content.
Yeah,
absolutely.
That's really these days
with AI.
That's like a really bad thing going on.
So,
but,
you know,
when I do share
where I'm at
emotionally or frustration-wise,
it's like,
now I've got 50 fucking psychologists
in my comment section,
you know,
offer me advice.
It's like,
guys,
I'm fine.
I'm just having a moment
and I'm sharing it
because I don't want you to think
that I think I am perfect.
Right. That's why I don't even really look at comments.
Yeah. Or you don't ever.
No, I've been lucky enough. I feel like I've, in my career, been around enough people that are way more successful than me.
And so I ask them advice. Like, what's the key to longevity? What's the key to, like, staying sane?
And all the most successful people I've known have said the same thing. Just don't read the comments.
So, yeah, Joe Rogan told me that. Roseanne Barr told me that.
A few other people. So I've just kind of taken it.
And it's benefited me a lot because you also don't want to be necessarily at the whim of what everyone wants you to create, at least with what I do.
Because then you, there's audience capture, right?
Then there's like, I'm kind of just going through the motions to please people.
And that's, you don't really grow like that because then you're not really expanding or sometimes you need to do something that even segments of your audience are like, what is this?
And if you're, if you have a decent amount of intuition and you're on the money, then even if you're, even if you're,
If they're not there, they'll come around to it.
Yeah, I think when you're creating content, though, it's for you, right?
It's like, these are my beliefs.
You know, the one thing that I do a poor job of, I'm still very engaged in my platform on Instagram.
Because I'm not to the point where I really want to be yet.
So I'm still, I'm responding to comments.
I'm looking at them.
And it's good to be like that too.
You don't want to ignore the audience or whatever.
No, no, I don't.
But, you know, like on Instagram, like I don't get anything bad said, you know?
And so, you know, I'll all engage, but also there's going to come a time where I probably shouldn't look at the comments.
I probably shouldn't use my time doing that because you never know what you're going to read.
You know, and I think it's all about, like you said, the key to longevity is sometimes knowing yourself well enough to know what your triggers are and knowing what can kind of take you off the rails and then don't go there.
Right.
Like stay away from it, right?
You kind of got to bulldoze.
You just got to go where you're going.
And if people latch on, they latch on.
And a lot of other people will catch up to you later.
Yeah, I mean, that's true.
You know, you had mentioned something earlier about, like, we were talking about comments,
and it made me think about, you know, and I know you've talked about it,
but I was really interested to understand what happened after the penthouse interview
because you were getting threats.
And did you call the FBI?
Is that accurate?
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, going all the way back.
I think it was like before the penthouse interview.
I think I talked about it in the penthouse.
interview if I remember correctly. Yeah, there was a period in 2017 where I had made a video
criticizing Black Lives Matter and I just took a lot of heat all at once and it ended up with like
people taking pictures holding gun wanting to come get me and actually the FBI contacted me
to let me know what was going on and I think they were um they asked me a few questions I can't even
remember so it was definitely more serious than like a lot of other moments so I guess there was some
credibility to it, but that's another thing that comes with the territory, especially about politics.
How that feel?
I think I was so green and so new to like everything that actually was kind of fun.
I was kind of like, screw it.
I matter.
Cool.
This is neat.
Yeah.
I was like, does this mean I'm famous now?
Like people want to kill me?
Cool.
Kind of.
Right.
I mean, right?
That's kind of shitty though.
And now, because I've been doing it for so long, like it probably wouldn't feel as
great.
Like I have some crazy stalking.
Now do you I have the great I mean you could probably imagine I I summon all different types of people
my content yeah a lot of perverts a lot of crazy people a lot of radical people so it's kind of like a
stream of just the craziest people you could imagine you need security well I've been docks
everywhere I've lived so my address has been leaked on the internet every place I've ever lived
since doing this with the exception of where I currently live so knock on with
Gosh, don't do it.
I know.
But now I live in a really secure area.
I have no neighbors.
I have one private road in and out of my house.
The camera's everywhere.
So if someone was trying to come in me, I could see him coming.
That's good.
That's good.
When you look back at things, right, is there anything that you've ever said that you regret saying,
not because of facts, but emotionally?
Yeah.
I feel like, you know, I'm.
I'm imperfect and I'm very passionate about what I say.
So sometimes that comes through a vehicle of like heightened emotions.
And so there's been times where I was probably more mean than I needed to be.
And I've even apologized to certain people and been like,
I still don't like what you did or how you feel.
But also I didn't need to be such a bitch about it.
So I think it's really like a passion for like justice and stuff.
And I rarely go after people that don't do like, you know,
most of the people I really go after are like predators.
and, you know, just like insane people.
But that doesn't change that there's just a level of responsibility for me to be like
as kind of a person as I can be despite the heated topics.
No, I mean, you know, that's a good point.
You know, it's sometimes we can say things even, you know, even though we get emotional
and we kind of pop off.
I never do it on camera.
But I can have popped off to my wife before and I felt really, really bad about it.
not to say that it may not have been factual,
but maybe I went about it the wrong way.
Right.
I like to say, you know, I'm rarely wrong.
What's the Virgo in you?
Right.
Yeah.
Because also I don't like to really speak on things I don't know a lot about.
So like you're not going to catch a video or commentary for me on like how airplanes work
or, you know, quantum physics or whatever.
It's like I'm talking about that.
I make sure I know what I'm talking about.
You're in your lane.
You stay there.
Yeah.
And that's important in life, right?
especially as a creator and as a public figure,
you have guardrails.
Right.
And you have to stay in them.
Right.
Stay in them so you can be great.
Yeah.
So, well, thank you so much for coming.
This has been fun to catch up.
And, you know, I know you got a lot more things to do.
And you're kind of on tour.
You enjoy going around everywhere.
Hopefully you guys get to go home soon and rest.
A few days.
Yeah.
This is great.
Thank you so much for having me.
It's been a pleasure.
Thank you again.
Actually, one more question.
Yeah.
Oh my God, I can't believe I almost forgot the most important question of the interview.
After everything that you've been through in your life, what does being determined actually mean to you?
I think it means knowing that when you go through things, it's not permanent.
It's just a season.
You know, everything passes even the worst things.
And knowing that you have the ability to transmute anything.
Like you have the ability to turn something into something that actually helps you later or helps other people.
like you can be really in despair about certain things,
but as long as you know, like,
there will be a way to use this to make me a better person.
You know, that way you're never a victim to something.
You're never, you know, at the whim of the world or circumstances.
I really feel that adversity is something that instead of running from
or why is this happening to me, I can't believe this.
It's like, what is this going to teach me?
How's it going to benefit me?
Yes.
Because that's a paradigm shift.
Like, think about one is relinquishing power.
One is claiming it.
I recently did a TED talk on it or a TEDx talk on it about adversity being the real classroom in life.
Right.
It's like everything that I've gone through, like all the bad shit, it has built me to talk about this.
It's like it's almost like God knew, right?
Yeah.
Of course.
Of course he did.
It's like, all right, you're going to go through all this stuff.
And you have to let it shape you.
but you're going to come out the other side as this guy.
And so for me, that's a really good, really good definition of determination
because I feel like everything that happens is that you have to grab onto it and be like,
okay, I might, I might with certain things feel really shitty about it for a small period of time.
I'm not a hypocrite.
And I'm also not a robot.
I'm a human.
So if something bad happens or I lose a big deal, you know,
I can get to a point where, like, oh, my God, it's crashing down.
Like, oh, my God, the anxiety kicks in.
But you know what?
I wake up the next morning and I go to the gym and those thoughts are gone.
I go, how am I going to fix this?
Right.
I get into the energy of what's next.
What am I going to do to focus on a solution and then implement it?
And I think that's the most important thing in life.
Yeah.
Otherwise, you're just at the whim of whatever happens to you
and you start taking all this damage when even, you know, damage,
it's like how you make a diamond, right?
It's like whatever the phrase is.
Pressure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, and also it's hard to even relate to people
who have never really been through anything.
I find personally it's hard for me
to really have a conversation with someone
who doesn't know what it's like to be in the trenches a little bit.
I can't vibe with anybody that hasn't been just obliterated by adversity.
Right.
Because it's like, what do we have in common at that point?
You know, and the one thing that does drive me crazy, when people say, I've never, I'm good, I've
never been through this adversity.
It's like, yeah, dude, yeah, you have.
You're turning your back on it.
You're not accepting it.
That's denial.
And then the problem with that is it still lives in you and it comes out in all these
different ways.
So like the way that trauma will affect you and people think of trauma is only like these
huge things that happen.
Like people think trauma means, oh, the worst things.
And it does.
But also like just little things like, little things like,
little like rejection traumas throughout the day.
Those things add up.
And if you don't learn how to transmute it and change it into something positive,
it's going to come out in being disrespectful to your partner or being rude to the waitress
or drinking too much alcohol and abusing your body.
Or how about disease?
Yes.
Literally, you know, I was just actually talking about this.
Like you have the placebo effect, which is like if you think a sugar pill can cure you,
if you really are ignorant about what you think.
it can shows the power of your mind over your own body and health.
So if you are always thinking negative thoughts,
it's like you're going to be sick.
Or if you let even negative thoughts that are still in your subconscious that you think
aren't there fester,
you're just going to get sick.
Facts,
my friend.
Well,
thank you so much.
Yes,
it was fun.
It was amazing.
So guys,
go check out Miss Blair White on Instagram.
Go search her YouTube channel.
And you know what?
Go support her.
Go support her.
and listen to what she has to say.
But here's what I'm going to tell you.
When you do this,
actually take the time to find out who the person is,
not just what she is saying.
All right, guys.
And until next time, stay determined.
